#FUCK IT LET ANAKIN HUG HIS MOM

[constellation-skirmishes]

I knew you'd come back to me, Ani

[kcrabb88]

I can't work on this fic properly for a bit, but my QuinObi AIDS Crisis AU is definitely bubbling on my mental backburner stove (the thought is that Obi-Wan finds out he has HIV in the late 80s, progresses to AIDS in the early 90s, but manages to survive until 95 when the post AZT drugs that were much better came out and life expectancy improved greatly). Anyway, this idea popped into my head on my walk home yesterday and I'm too impatient not to share:

"I'm really sorry for bothering you," Shmi says as Obi-Wan shows them inside. "You know how it goes. Unless it's a plumbing emergency, it's always you have to wait until morning, and it's cold out. The thermostat's been finicky for a bit."

"No, of course." Obi-Wan wasn't ready for guests in his blue turtleneck sweater with the hole in the sleeve and his gray sweats, but letting Shmi and Anakin sleep in a cold apartment is out of the question. "Anytime you need it we're here." 

"Hey, you two," Quin calls out from his place at their tiny eating table where he's composing some lyrics idly on paper. "Cold, huh?" 

Anakin, bundled up in an oversize coat--probably from Goodwill--nods, and his nose, Obi-Wan notes, is a little pink. He'll have to pull out an extra blanket. The apartment is mostly clean if cluttered. One of Obi-Wan's flannel shirts is tossed over Quin's drum set. His half-graded freshman English papers are stacked on the kitchen counter. The coffee pot wasn't cleaned out this morning because they were both too busy. ACT UP pamphlets Obi-Wan helped draft are on the coffee table.

"I think we have some hot chocolate, Ani," Obi-Wan adds with a smile. "That might warm you up?" 

Except Anakin, who almost always answers with excitement--and greets him with a big hug when they meet at the diner for dinner--doesn't reply. He's staring at something with a grin. 

Ah. 

One of Quin's old concert posters hangs on the wall, framed. A red slash cuts through the eyes of a smiling Ronald Reagan.

The Annual Alphabet City Fuck Ronnie Fundraiser for AIDS, it reads. 1987. 

Quin's band had been the headliner that year. Before Obi-Wan's diagnosis. Before them. Well, they'd always been them. Official them. 

"Uh," Quin says, running a hand through his locs and shooting Obi-Wan an apologetic look. "Sorry about that." 

"Not at all," Shmi says with a grin. "Fuck Reagan. Bush too." She looks over at Anakin. "You're not allowed to say fuck yet." 

"Mom," Anakin complains. "I'm eleven." 

"Exactly." Shmi taps the edge of Anakin's nose. "Obi-Wan asked if you wanted hot chocolate but you didn't hear? Do you?" 

"Yes, please!" 

"You can have the bedroom," Obi-Wan says. "The sheets are clean. Quin and I can take the couch. And before you argue, it's a pullout. A nice one my dad bought. Insisted on buying. I should have you meet him one day. I think he'd really appreciate your art, Shmi."

"Obi-Wan," Shmi protests. "You need your rest." 

"I'm all right," Obi-Wan assures her. "That cold I had is gone and I'm feeling good this week." 

He shows them into the bedroom. 

And immediately turns red. 

There's still a box of condoms on his bedside table. Black, purple, and with a rainbow across the top. 

Durex Fiesta: for colorful loving. 

Obi-Wan, wanting to replenish their stock and always looking for the best brands, thought these would also amuse Quinlan. He'd been right. So right, in fact, that Quinlan wanted to test them out that very same night. Hence them being out.

"You are so red right now, Obi-Wan," Anakin says, matter of fact. "It's okay though. I know what condoms are."

In the living room, Quin bursts out laughing. 

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[letitrainathousandflames]

Anakin, looking out the window of palpatine’s office: …and just like that, they expelled her. I asked Ahsoka to stay, but she was too hurt. All the endless love that they had promised her turned out to be conditional, and the order chose to bow to the republic instead of act independently on the matter, to investigate further and punish her on jedi terms if necessary. They just handed her over to be judged and jailed by a system that only wanted a culprit, proper investigations be damned.

Palpatine, looking pointedly at Anakin, stroking his shoulder for a moment: I see. I suppose this must be very painful to you, my boy. A deep, scarring ache that will never heal. You can’t be blamed if darkness breaches its way into your heart, and anger guides your next steps from now on. It is only natural.

Anakin: Yes… I’m starting to doubt the Order. To doubt their ways, their rules.

Palpatine, smiling softly: and who can blame you? They have been hindering you for so long…

Anakin: i… I’m thinking about taking some drastic… no, some extreme measures. Even thinking of it scares me. Maybe I shouldn’t-

Palpatine: now, now, my boy, any extreme ideas you have might be precisely the way to go about this matter. Now, while your feelings still ache and the sorrow of being abandoned yet again hurts your very core. And… you will have my full support.

Anakin, hopeful: are you sure? *he blinks his misty eyes, swallowing down thickly* I know what I’ll do will hurt the order, it might even destroy them.

Palpatine, desperately holding back a cackle: I will help you through it. Personally.

Anakin: *long exhale* well okay. That’s… that’s a relief. Give me a moment…

*anakin takes his bag off the floor, rummaging through it and pulling a series of items, placing them on Palpatine’s desk - three thick piles of flimsi, a pile of credits and a datapad*

Anakin, pointing at the items one by one: these are my goodbye letters to Obi-Wan, Rex and to the Order as a whole. The credits are to pay for replacements for Artoo and Threepio, I’m taking them with me. And the datapad has all my battle strategies that might be useful for the general they’ll put in charge of the 501st, although Rex could do just fine on his own, the man is amazing.

Palpatine, looking at the items and back up at Anakin: what…? I’m not understanding. Why would you send them letters? Didn’t you say you were going to destroy them?

Anakin: well, yes, my leaving might destroy them, but I think the letters might ease the pain. I explain everything in there - how this is too painful to me, how I can’t bear to keep fighting in a war that never ends while being unable to protect my mom in tatooine, the weight of being the chosen one, etc.

Palpatine: but…! But surely you know your place is in the order, right? Up until the very end of the war and not a moment less?

Anakin: yeah, I thought so, but all those talks with you really opened my eyes. You were right - they say I’m the chosen one but keep me from the most important meetings, they say I must be compassionate but ordered me to leave my droid behind to die, and now they expelled my padawan and I was the only one actually making an effort to prove her innocence. You were right all along - the order is outdated, selfish and lazy…

Palpatine: now, wait a minute- ugh! *Anakin hugs him tight*

Anakin: *beaming at palpatine* thank you so much for helping me see things as they are. I’m off now. Oh, and Jar Jar will represent Naboo in the senate from now on. Senator Amidala is leaving for indefinitely long vacations and she asked me to let you know.

Palpatine: wh-

Anakin, grabbing his bag and walking to the door: thanks for all your teachings, your excellency! I hope the republic wins the war! May the force be with you! Byeeee~

Palpatine, alone in his office:

Palpatine:

Palpatine: …fuck.

[nevertheless-moving]

INFODUMP AU continued

(Star Wars AU #22)

Possible Continuations from INFODUMP. I headcanon that exchange taking place about a year before episode II and episode IV

A) Anakin Force Shenanigans

Anakin walks up: “master- who’s this guy?

“You can SEE him/me?”

Obi-Wan urgently cry/yelling at Anakin to either wear a condom with Padme or at least take her to a healer if you’re worried about her pregnancy (seriously healer BEFORE evil sith wtf)

(its been a number of years for Ben so he’s pretty much puzzled out the ‘doing this for padme’ bit)

just before obi-wan fades out anakin panics because ben hasn’t told him how he gets together with padme

yanks him into this timeline and now Old Ben has to deal with Obi-Wan and Anakin freaking out over all the info he just vomited at them AND everything else

B) Brush Off

Obi-Wan practices some good old fashioned repression to mostly convince himself it was all a weird dream

yoda always says in motion, the future is anyway

he mostly puts it out of his head until a year later when Anakin VERY obliquely references having dreams of his mother

“...what kind of dreams, exactly?”

end-up rescuing Shmi shortly after her capture, Obi-Wan’s there to make sure Anakin doesn’t go off the deep end

Council is a little disapproving of their side mission because now Anakin is even more attached/devoted Obi-Wan 

Obi-Wan is a LITTLE freaked out but Shmi being in danger isn’t exactly a hard prediction to make considering they left her on Tatooine but...

almost immediately after they get specially requested to protect Senator Amidala.

things proceed like canon and when Dex says the dart is from Kamino, Obi-Wan has a little panic attack attack

the whole trip to Kamino he’s just thinking pleasenoclonearmy  pleasenoclonearmy  pleasenoawFUCK THAT’S A CLONE ARMY

good news here is when he’s bullshitting his way through the meeting/ inspection he very confidently brings up removing the control chips

at first there’s some hemming and hawing ‘oh you mean the inhibitor chips, are you sure you want them removed we’ve already installed them’

“I DEMAND they be removed- I- can i speak to your manger? Do I need to take my business elsewhere??”

Nala Se is very reluctant, “I was ensured by certain high level parties that the chips were intended to be an important safeguard...”

*Obi-Wan sweating, but all-in at this point* “Well, uh, Master Dooku and Chancellor Palpatine themselves told me they were concerned about the chips being abused by the wrong parties, and sent me to supervise, so,”

“Oh, I didn’t realize you were read-in on the project architecture to that extent, well here are our options-”

Obi-Wan still chases to Jango to Genosis because he’s got a mission and ‘this might as well happen’

Still gets captured in that stupid rotating energy field by Dooku 

“What if I told you the senate was now controlled by a dark lord of the sith?”

“...I would say that I would be very interested in any holo-recordings or legal documents you might have to that effect”

“oh?”

“would very much like some sort of proof to bring before a court of law, yeah.”

The rescue attempt actually goes well this time! Anakin is well rested and practically glowing after his week-long all-expense paid vacation at Varykino

They all manage to escape and intercept reinforcement mid-flight

The council is pleased Obi-Wan is safe and not surprised to find Anakin there, but it doesn’t really change their mission as the senate has ordered them to take out the federation army before they can attack...

“The Senate ordered it?”

“Yes, much has happened, while gone you were. Were given to the chancellor, emergency powers. Drafted a military, he has. Generals, the Jedi have been made. Uneasy we are, but serve the senate, we do.”

“Oh kark, the Chancellor ordered it? We DEFINITELY can not invade.” Obi-Wan's starting to have another panic attack, not sure how to get out of the sith trap

Anakin’s a little offended. “Obi-Wan! The Chancellor is a good man; the Jedi must do this, for the good of -”

“PALPATINE’S A SITH LORD”

“what”

C) He tries, ok? (inspired by @ourhitofsucrose )

Very similar to B except for the full year between the ‘vision’ and aotc, Obi-Wan is desperately trying to follow the future’s warnings but failing hysterically

kamino and genosis have both erased from the archives and it doesn’t occur to him to ask dex so he doesn’t even have a direction to go on

tries to find some proof about Palpatine but he is a sneaky bastard

tries to separate palpatine from anakin but he’s like I’M AN ADULT NOW YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO

tentatively brings up Dooku falling ‘in a vision’ to the council because that is something they can check up on- Yoda gets really offended

‘garbage planet on the outer rim’ is not a lot to go on

when he tries to get help searching because he knows that the sith who killed Qui-Gon is still alive and planning to kill his ex-girlfriend even Anakin is like... ‘ok buddy, i think you might be under too much stress, maybe we should visit the healers...”

best he can do for Shmi is leaving her an emergency beacon

A+ success in relationship repair with Anakin tho! through the application of a very awkward hug and a mumbled “you know I love you, right?”

Anakin drags him to the healers immediately, and after a drug test and an overnight stay finally responds by bursting into tears and ugly crying on Obi-Wan’s robes because “YOU’RE A FATHER TO ME BUT I THOUGHT YOU HAATED ME”

Obi-Wan is uncomfortably patting him on the back “Of course I don’t hate you! You’re my padawan! Why would you think that?”

Then when Shmi activates her emergency comm the same night Anakin has his first nightmare about his Mom and they fly to her rescue he’s even more OBI-WAN 5EVER  than canon or scenario B because

“You...checked in on my mom?? Why wouldn’t you tell me?”

“I’m sorry Anakin, I knew the council wouldn’t approve...”

hugs Anakin again since that is the only piece of advice he can follow from his future self and he just thinks ‘well its a long shot but hopefully this is enough to prevent any lava planet incidents’

it is 

Seriously in this version of events Anakin actively RESISTS being knighted because he was already obsessed with Obi-Wan in canon and now with hugs + verbal affection + protecting Mom proactively he is ALL IN FOR OBI NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN

low-key ruins palpatine’s plans by itself because now when he tries to drive a wedge between them with his bullshit ‘your master doesn’t truly trust you’ Anakin gets huffy and responds with a space powerpoint presentation

i mean other stuff is going to go down once we get to the armies but already the stage is set for him to go running to Obi-Wan the minute he has a nightmare about Padme dying and him responding “J. Force Christ, lets just... go to a healer, fuck’s sake Anakin I hope it doesn’t need to be said but do NOT turn to the darkside over this”

canon would definitely diverge before that point but its also very funny to me to imagine RotS playing out more or less the same but when he gets to Palpatine’s big offer he just goes ‘sorry dad told me no’

[phoenixyfriend]

For your suddenly omegaverse au what exactly happened? Like I think obiwan and Anakin hop over from cannon verse to omegaverse but I am unclear on if there already existed obiwan and Anakin in omegaverse. Did they die early or do they just not exist or are they just not force sensitive and therefore not a part of the order? Is there still a sith conspiracy around Anakin?

Context: Original Post, Surrogacy, Worldbuilding, Obi-Mom, Soap Operas

So, from the original post:

There is no preexisting Anakin in the Omegaverse

Obi-Wan and Anakin just straight up don’t exist until they drop headfirst into the council room, already covered in blood.

To clarify: There has never been an Anakin Skywalker in this AU. There has never been an Obi-Wan Kenobi.

They don't know this for sure when they land in the AU, though. All they know is that the Jedi have no record of either of them. They figure, well, maybe they just got lost in the shuffle. Anakin wasn't found until he was nine, after all, and that was only by great coincidence.

The rest of this post has almost no mention of the omegaverse elements, FYI.

Warning: References to the Tusken massacre, explicit sedation and isolation of a mentally unstable individual threatening violence.

I don’t want to make light of institutionalization and involuntary holds, but Anakin is a character with a history of violence talking about repeating such an act, and that’s... a bit of an extreme case.

------

It's not that hard to convince the Temple to let them run a mission that lets them stop by Tatooine or Stewjon. Anakin cares a lot more, so Tatooine it is! Obi-Wan can tell there's something sketchy going on with Anakin's particular anxiety about this, but he rolls with it. Anakin was very specific about the timing for some reasons, and at this point, it's easier to just let it all play through.

They go well after the whole “congrats, you’re omegas... somehow,” thing has happened, a month or so before Geonosis would have happened. Obi-Wan has managed to help the council sabotage and delay the Separatist side of the war enough that they’ve gained... maybe a few weeks, maybe a few months. Just a little more time to keep a few more people alive. Nobody’s reached out to Kamino yet, and Jango isn’t staging a failed assassination to draw someone in, either. They’ve bought enough time for Anakin to spend his vacation time checking in on his mom seeing if he exists here, and Obi-Wan can go with him.

They get to Tatooine. They wander about, and Anakin doesn't actually explain where they're going, but takes them straight to where the Lars farm is. Obi-Wan lets Anakin tell him that it was the Force that led him to the right area. Anakin can sense that his mom is in there, and Obi-Wan chalks up the relief from his former padawan to 'she's here and we don't have to look for her.'

Anakin is... panicking. Just a bit. What if he shows up and it turns out this reality's Anakin is off doing something completely unrelated and she realizes he's the wrong person? Or what if she doesn't recognize him and he calls her Mom anyway? What if he fucks up and says something stupid or just starts crying on her? She'll think he's insane.

Obi-Wan... takes over.

Anakin stays hidden, listening. Obi-Wan knocks on the door, and asks if there's a 'Shmi Skywalker' in residence. Someone in town mentioned her. He explains that he has a young friend of about twenty years--they're not sure, exactly, because the friend doesn't know his own birthday, but it's about there--who happens to be a Skywalker, and they're trying to see if they can reconnect him with a parent. They don't have much to go off of other than the surname... the Shmi that lives here wouldn't happen to have ever had any children about that age?

No. She hasn't had any children of her own blood, actually, her only child is her stepson, but she'd be happy to meet this other Skywalker, if he's in the area. It's always nice to find family, and connecting with those that were separated from you is a big deal on Tatooine. She's not going to look a gift bantha in the mouth.

(Cliegg, dear, put down the rifle.)

Obi-Wan promises to let his friend know, bids them goodbye, and goes to find Anakin.

Anakin is having a bit of a breakdown.

As one does.

Anakin insists that they stick around for a bit, that they do what they can to protect the farm, because that's his mom, even if she's not really his mom, and Obi-Wan can tell there's a Lot Going On here. He assumes it's because Anakin's upset his mom doesn't know him, which is a little irrational on account of their two options being "Anakin doesn't exist (and so Shmi doesn't know him)" and "Anakin does exist (but Shmi doesn't know this Anakin, so she still doesn't know him)," but Anakin's not a very rational person.

Obi-Wan thinks tamping down the current crisis is probably a little more important than chastising Anakin's attachment issues, mostly because Anakin's hands are shaking, and he's looking a little wild-eyed, and like. Obi-Wan's not great at dealing with Anakin's many and varied emotions, but he's learned at some point when it's best to just... roll with it Until There's Less Risk of Stab or Sobbing Laughter.

He helps figure out some minor fuckery with the Force to hide the family in the homestead behind them from visitors, and to warn them to hide when someone comes by. It’s not a lot--mostly just meditating and asking the Force for a helping hand--but it’s nice.

Except, well, Anakin keeps fidgeting. He keeps panicking. He has them coming back almost daily for a week, always too scared to talk to his mom but insistent on protecting her, and always looking at the calendar. Obi-Wan wants to get back to the Temple, but whatever the actual hell is going on with Anakin is too big to just ignored.

A specific day comes and goes. Anakin is a mess of jitters and nerves, and finally Obi-Wan asks just the wrong (right?) question, and... they visit Shmi.

Anakin says they can talk later, he just wants to see his mom One Last Time.

(Obi-Wan is getting more and more worried, but he sits through the incredibly awkward meeting between Anakin and his alt-universe mom, watches as Anakin has no idea what to say and almost cries, and Shmi just kind of lets him do that and Beru--a sweet girl, Obi-Wan thinks, and very practical--tells him that this is all very normal for reunited slaves.)

(Obi-Wan wonders if maybe there’s some stuff Anakin never told him about how being a slave affected him.)

(Obi-Wan had thought they’d moved past most of this, but..)

The meeting ends. There’s hugging.

They get back to the ship, and Obi-Wan gets to watch Anakin fall apart. Obi-Wan gets to watch Anakin cry and scream into a pillow, hyperventilate and nearly punch a hole in the wall as he rages about how it was all for nothing! Obi-Wan gets to watch Anakin break into a million pieces in a way he’s never seen before.

Obi-Wan gets a confession.

Anakin tells him about the Tuskens.

It’s not an easy conversation. It’s not a short conversation, either. Anakin’s full of pain and misery and rising guilt, talks about how he’s been asking himself if it would be easier to keep his mother safe if he just killed them all now, except Obi-Wan would know, and be disappointed, and sure the Chancellor had said that they were little more than rabid animals, but Anakin doesn’t think he can kill the younglings again when his mom is still fine, and--

Obi-Wan sedates him.

He wants to say that he’s not proud of this, but... Anakin isn’t well. Anakin isn’t well in a way that is currently, specifically, revolving around doing extreme violence. Anakin is talking about going out and committing a slaughter as preventative maintenance.

Anakin stays sedated until they get back to the Temple, and he’s put in Force-suppressant cuffs--Obi-Wan quietly tells them to use something that can’t be sliced or taken apart by a droid specialist, and to avoid collars because Anakin was a slave for nearly a decade, and has a lot of traumatic associations--and in an isolated room.

It’s not a cell. Not technically.

He can’t just leave, though.

Obi-Wan hates himself for it, just a little. He doesn’t want to be doing this, not to his padawan, his brother, his son, but... a massacre. Even the younglings, he’d said.

(“He said he didn’t think he could do it again,” Obi-Wan mutters, half to himself and half to the mind healer that asks for his rundown of the situation. “I think he knows it was wrong, but...”)

(But he still did it, of course.)

It’s... better than Obi-Wan feared, but worse than he hoped.

Anakin is emotionally unstable. He has been, for a long time, but he’s usually functional. When the mind healer isn’t directly poking at his worst wounds, Anakin can more or less pass for... not okay, necessarily, but no worse than anyone else in the war had. He can say the right words. He can do a joint meditation. He can talk about philosophy the way a Knight that’s taken all the right classes does.

But part of Anakin still holds to the idea that the Tuskens deserved to die.

“This is my fault,” Obi-Wan whispers, more than once, resting his head in his hands, elbows on his knees. “I should have...”

“He was an adult,” says Mace, who isn’t Mace, not the one that Obi-Wan knows, but a newer friend, one that’s still figuring how to act around him. “Young, but still an adult. He made that choice.”

Obi-Wan doesn’t answer. Things aren’t that simple.

“The timing can’t have been a coincidence,” Obi-Wan mutters to himself, later on, but in the same spot, and the same position.

The Quinlan of this universe shrugs. He knows Obi-Wan better than most, right now. Psychometry’s helpful that way, and sharing Obi-Wan’s heat hadn’t hurt. “Seems likely. You said Sith were involved and setting traps, and a kid like yours, with that much power and trauma... ripe for the molding.”

Obi-Wan whines, and then catches the noise and stuffs it back down, locks it up tight with the other ‘instinct’ things he doesn’t like to think about having. The sound already has Quinlan shifting closer, and the smell is... intended to be comforting, he thinks. Reacting to his own distress, which he’s probably just pumping out right now, because he still doesn’t know how to--

“Can I help?” Quinlan asks, and Obi-Wan lets him.

Someone gets through to Anakin, maybe, or he just lets himself be ground down, or Obi-Wan’s entreaties that he can’t teach Ahsoka until he understands his crimes get through. He won’t be trusted around the clones until the Jedi can trust him to do the right thing, they inform him.

“I wouldn’t hurt the clones.”

“Nobody’s going to believe that until you understand your crimes and truly, actually feel remorse for them.”

There wasn’t a crime, technically. Not in this universe. That tribe is still alive, here, unknowing of the fate they escaped by dint of Anakin talking himself down from committing another slaughter.

(He tells the mind healer it’s because Obi-Wan was there.)

(He might have done it, he says, if he hadn’t thought Obi-Wan would be disappointed in him.)

(He says it like it’s a foregone conclusion, that Obi-Wan’s opinion is worth more than the horror of what he might become.)

“We’re going to keep an eye on anyone talking to Palpatine,” Shaak tells him one day, after Anakin’s been mental instability hold for two weeks. “We don’t know for sure how far the similarities extend from your universe to ours, but given everything else you’ve been right about...”

“That bad?” Obi-Wan asks.

Shaak grimaces, fangs glinting in the light. “I want to believe we’d have never allowed a child into such a position, but I can’t know what political leverage may have been used in your dimension... whatever reason was had to put Skywalker in those rooms, we know the consequences now--”

“What did he do to my padawan?” Obi-Wan demands, because Anakin won’t even tell him that. Anakin hasn’t mentioned Palpatine since they left Tatooine. Not to Obi-Wan.

“Nothing physical,” Shaak manages. “But the lies he told and the suggestions he planted... it’s good they haven’t met again yet in this life. We’ll all be keeping them far apart.”

He wants to take solace in that. “Why do you know before I do?”

“Skywalker values your opinion,” she says. “Only yours. He doesn’t want you more disappointed in him than you already are, so much of what is relayed to the council as a matter of security goes no further, but this was deemed necessary to share. He agreed to it, if you worried we’d broken his confidence.”

Anakin’s therapy would normally be entirely private.

Anakin’s therapy would normally not be in response to confessions of mass slaughter.

He hasn’t asked to be let out, which Obi-Wan hopes is a sign that he realizes at least subconsciously that he was in the wrong. The mind healer says he could have been released under watch by a Master probably a day or two after he arrived, but seems to be drawing some kind of comfort in knowing he couldn’t hurt someone even if he tried.

Obi-Wan is Anakin’s emergency contact. His next of kin. His healthcare proxy. Anakin has a right to privacy, minor as it is in such a situation, and everyone recognizes and treats him as an adult, but... Obi-Wan learns as much from the mind-healer as he would have back when Anakin was actually a child.

“He trusts you to make the right decisions,” the mind healer tells him, careful and unassuming. “He has... a lot of conflicting opinions about many things, including the order, the coming war, the nature of human reproductive dynamics, the Code... but he seems keen on the idea that you are his best reference on morality and ethics.”

Oh, good, more horrifying responsibility.

“He’s better,” the mind healer tells him. “I want to get him out of here before he starts going stir crazy while still relying on the perceived safety as a crutch for his mental health. And he--”

“He’ll be staying with me,” Obi-Wan says, heavy as anything. “I know.”

“Well... there’s a war coming,” the mind healer says. She offers a thin smile when he looks at her. “I don’t want him going out, but it makes him feel useful, gives him a direction for the aggression, and... the Council is adamant that we’ll need him as much as we need you.”

It’s true.

“Did he tell you why everyone called him the Hero With No Fear?”

“No.”

“Ask him.”

[cobrakaisb]

hi bestie! i’ve had this idea for a while, but i haven’t seen it. can you do like a head cannon of what miguel, robby, and eli/hawk would be like as an older brother? it can be totally based off what you think :) thank you <3

of course! sorry it took me a while but i needed to to be perfect. i also added two bonus boys at the end (hope you don’t mind). little note: i wrote this with a fem reader in mind because of the mentions of periods. 

Having the Cobra Kai boys as older brothers

miguel:

you and miguel are so close

the age difference does not affect him at all

he is very protective of you before cobra kai

but once he joins cobra kai that over protectiveness 📈📈📈

let’s just say that this kid is bothering you

miguel definitely notices and scares them off

you act annoyed about it, but you’re highkey grateful that he did that

“my brother is the all valley champ so back the fuck off”

you were so excited for him at the all valley

you wore one of his cobra kai shirts and everything

miguel is so supportive of whatever extra curricular you do

karate? yes he stans, theater? you bet he’s at all your shows, dance? you know he’s bringing you some flowers, another sport? he’s at every game cheering for you

miguel knows about periods, and he has no shame in buying you tampons/pads

“hey y/n, i noticed you were running low so i got you some more” 🥺🥺 

you wear his hoodies all the time

they are very big on you, but very comfy

you help him with sam

“i punched her in the face” “what why?”

“y/n what do you think about this?” “it looks great miguel. sam will love it”

when he dates tory you're a little on edge about it

“miguel, weren’t you like trying to win sam back two days ago?” “i like tory now” “okayy” 

johnny loves you as much as he loves miguel

y’all hang out together

his friends are your friends and vice versa

your friends definitely think that miguel is cute but “eww that’s my brother”

when miguel is in the coma you blame johnny

“he showed mercy because of you! you did this!”

but then you cry into his chest

when miguel wakes up you’re at school

you don’t find out until after school when carmen picks you up

you hug him so tight, rambling about how much you love him

“i love you too y/n now get off me”

you can’t keep up with his love life

“y/n i’m with sam again” “what?” 

overall your bond is amazing and you couldn’t ask for a better brother

robby:

you and robby both live with your mother (because we aren’t basic here)

you’re the odd one out (your mom does drugs and robby sells them)

“you got caught with molly? i thought you and sara were hooking up?” “the drug y/n”

when robby starts being friends with those punk kids, the two of you start to drift

you actually go to school, unlike him

“just skip y/n” “no robby”

it isn’t until he gets back on track because of daniel that you two start getting close again

“i’m gonna get back on track y/n i promise” and you believe him

you go to the skatepark with him

he skates while you read or draw or skate (whatever you’re into tbh)

when you’re on your period robby will buy you stuff, but he doesn’t like to

he feels so awkward about it

“um are these the right ones?” “yes thank you”

robby gives the best hugs (idk why he just does)

i feel like robby is also really good at reading emotions

like he knows when you’ve had a bad day at school or when you’re stressed about something

he also knows how to cheer you up :)))

“i know you did not just eat cereal with water???” “and what about it?”

when your mom comes back after being gone for days robby pulls you behind him

because he really doesn’t want you to be exposed to that

you cry into robby’s chest once she leaves

“why can’t she just be our mom?”

when daniel asks robby to move in with him he denies

but quickly explains that he can’t leave you

daniel tells robby that you can come too

“thanks for helping my brother mr.larusso, i really appreciate it”

you definitely walk in on robby and sam making out at some point

“hey robby- oh my god i’m so sorry” slaps hand over eyes and immediately leaves the room

when robby pushes miguel off the balcony it's the first time you’re genuinely scared of him

you visit him in jail, but it takes awhile for you to go

“i’m sorry y/n” “i know robby”

you just understand each other

when robby joins cobra kai he tries to get you in too

you agree to one lesson, and know it’s not for you

you have many arguments about this

“he’s brainwashing you!” “he knows what’s best for me, for us!”

robby feels so betrayed when he finds out you’re staying with johnny

the two of you definitely drift after that, but you find your way back to each other, you always do

eli/hawk:

okay so before he flips the script you defend eli, no matter what

you cry with him about the bullies and definitely try to fight kyler more than once

you wear his sweaters (fight me on it)

you encourage him to do karate

when he flips the script you’re very happy for him he finally feels confident in himself and you love that for him

now the roles are reversed

hawk protects you now

no one even dares to look at you because they are scared of him

i feel like he has a tattoo for you, whether that's your name or your favorite flower idk but he gets one for you

“um wow okay we’re doing that now” “do you like it or not?” “yeah but i wasn’t expecting it”

sometimes he’ll let you pick his hair color “how about purple” “maybe” 😉

he definitely flirts with your friends “hello ladies!” “hi hawk!” “get out!”

you’re the only one that is allowed to call him eli

“eli i need ten dollars?” “for what?” “a snack” *hands over the money*

“eli can i have your sweatshirt? i’m cold” “yeah take it”

“i can’t, me and eli are going to the movies today”

one day you’re sitting with him and his minions (you refuse to call them friends) at lunch

“so eli” -one of the cobra kais “shut the fuck up! you can’t call him that!” -you

hawk has a proud brother moment

anything that you do hawk is like “fuck yeah that’s my sibling!”

his friends are not allowed to look at you, talk to you, have a crush on you, or even think about you

“woah dude she’s hot” “that’s my fucking sister! stay away from her!”

“eli who’s your friend-” “NO!” 

as eli he will buy you period products but is very shy about it

as hawk he will not be caught dead in that isle of cvs

“eli i need them!” “i don’t care! i’ll drive you there and you can run in and get them”

when hawk breaks demetri’s arm you don't speak to him for weeks

you confront him about his new behavior

“this is who i am!” “no it’s not! you’re not my brother!” 

you’re crying and then storm off to your room

that breaks him

is highkey the start of his redemption

when he’s at the fight at the larusso house, and he sees demetri about to get his arm broken, he thinks of your words: “you're not my brother!”

literally motivates him to fix things

you see hawk and demitri and just know that your brother is back

you hug him so tight

“you were right y/n. i’m sorry” “of course i was. i’m always right” “gee thanks” “love you”  

bonus demetri:

he is a nerd, you are a nerd

the two of you watch star wars, marvel, harry potter, etc. together 

“daddy anakin” “please shut the fuck up”

you want to punch him in the face because he is so sarcastic 

it gets on your nerves 

bust out laughing when johnny makes fun of his pi shirt 

“stop laughing” “if it’s funny i'm gonna laugh”

even though you’re a nerd you’re cool 

like you have a lot of friends in your grade 

“demetri if i don’t talk to you at the halloween party that’s why” gestures to his costume 

listen to his rants about how eli’s changed 

you try to give him advice, but it doesn’t work out

so proud of him when he joins miyagi-do

“i'm glad you’re stepping out of your comfort zone” 

demetri tries to get you to join miyagi-do

if you do join great more sibling bonding

if you don’t join no biggie y’all are still besties

y’all go to the comic book store together

its sibling bonding time

you threaten to fight hawk after the laser tag thing 

“hey asshole you leave my brother alone!” 

you sign his cast first

you definitely write some inside joke that only the two of you understand

you see him kissing yas and do a whole 🤮

“so you dating yas?” “idk why” “just checking”

very obvious about your distaste for her

when him and hawk become friends again you’re very wary

“he broke your arm” “he apologized” “he broke your arm!!!”

eventually you and hawk are on semi decent terms

“demetri forgave you and that’s fine but i’m still not over it”

your relationship = the perfect mix of love and teasing  

bonus bonus king bert 🙌🏻:

you are older than him by like a year

but you’re still besties for life 

you’re very proud of him when he joins cobra kai

“im joining a karate dojo” “period pop off”

you always ruffle his hair 

cheer for him at the all valley

“yeah bert!”

but also like you can’t watch 

when he gets eliminated you cringe 

he’s sad about it 

“i just wanted to impress you” “im very impressed bert, you did great” 

your opinion matters so much to him

he’s such a small cinnamon roll 🥺🥺

seeing him with the older cobra kai boys makes you soft

“y/n i’m going out with hawk and miguel can you drive me?” 

bert admires you a lot, like you are his hero

y’all are the best sibling duo and that’s on period

[ecoamerica]

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[anisstories]

I Don't Want This

Chapter 5

His Place

The ride to his home was a quiet one. When he parked his car he saw something he truly didn’t want to. Padme standing there. In front of his house. SHIT! What’s she doing here? If she sees Y/N she’s gonna flip out. What should I do? FUCK! “Y/N!” Anakin whisper-yelled, causing her to wake up. “Are we here?” “Yup, but guess who’s here?” Y/N looked out the car window only to see Padme. “We have to tell her at some point, why not right now” “I told her I wouldn’t come over because I was going to the bar. I come home with her semi-drunk best friend, Ahsoka, and Obi-Wan nowhere in sight. Do you want to ruin my relationship?” Anakin scolded. “Sorry, I can hide under the car seat, I think I can fit.” and she started to squeeze herself in. When Anakin turned back around he saw that the seat was too low and that her chest was visible. Every other part of her fit, except her damn breast. Anakin got out of the car and went to where she was. “What are you doing here?” “Please forgive me.” “Huh?! What are you-” then she felt Anakin’s big hand on her breast who was carefully placing it under the seat. A whimper slipped from her lips, as her breasts were probably the most sensitive part of her body. “I don’t know if that whimper was out of pain or out of pleasure. I’m sorry if it was out of pain. But if it was out of pleasure, I’m gonna need to ask you to calm down, I know my hands work miracles but we are in a sticky situation” Anakin smirked. “I swear if I wasn’t forced to be under this damn chair, I’d fuck you,” Y/N glared then realized what she said “No, that’s not what I meant, I mean to say-” Anakin gave a knowing smile. “Maybe some other time.” “You’re so annoying!” “That’s not what you said two seconds ago,” Anakin said as he closed the car door leaving the car windows open.

“Ani!!!” Padme ran to hug Anakin. “Hey, Padme! What’s up?” Then Padme’s face changed. She was sniffing his collar. Fuck Y/N fell asleep on me, she probably smelt her perfume. “You drink too much, that's dangerous.” Padme scolded. “I’ll take it down a few notches. Thank the Maker for Y/N’s spilled drink. “Well that’s all I was here for, just wanted to make sure you came home safe. Your phone was off so I couldn’t reach you.” “Oh yeah, my battery died…” Anakin said, praying he wouldn’t be caught in his lie. “Yea, sorry about accusing you of cheating, I know you wouldn’t do that. I was just tired is all. My cab’s here, I’ll take my leave.” “Yea, see you. Text me when you get home.” Anakin yelled as Padme was running towards her cab.

Then he ran back to his car and opened the door. There Y/n could be seen trying to get herself out. “Need some help?” Anakin asked. “No shit.” Y/N was getting annoyed, it was so hot in his car and he took his sweet ass time. She’s his girlfriend but she was hot, sticky, sweaty, and felt herself falling into a drunken state, so she was irritable. “I don’t think your daddy would be proud to hear these words out your mouth.” Anakin jokes. “I’ve said worse right to his face.” Y/N laughed. Once she was out of the car she grabbed onto Anakin’s shoulders. “I don’t think I can walk.” she felt like ants were crawling in her legs. They were about to fall asleep but it wasn’t at its worst stage yet. Anakin bent down ready to pick her up bridal style. “And don’t carry me bridal style, I feel like I'm going to slip out of your hands.” Anakin grabbed her thighs and put them around his waist. “H-Hey I-I’m wearing a skirt.” Y/N stuttered. “Well, Princess, the options are bridal style, this way, or you crawl into the house. And no I’m not putting you over my shoulder. I don’t want your ass in my face.” Y/N laughed. “Okay let’s go in. Also about my ass in your face, you scared you won’t be able to control yourself? I mean it’s understandable, I have a pretty great ass.” Does alcohol make her this confident? Let me just humor her. I don't want her to start yelling because I’m being cold. “You want to test that theory?” “No, I’m okay!” Anakin laughed as he opened the house doors. What they didn’t know was that Padme had mistaken her cab and had seen the whole scene unfold.

Once they were inside he saw that everyone had fallen asleep. Owen’s car was missing so he probably spent the night at Beru's. At least Y/N won’t be scared. He chuckled at the thought. When he went to place Y/N down on the sofa he saw she was asleep. “Hey, Y/N, wake up, I need you to change so that I can wash your clothing.” Y/N woke up and said, “but I have no clothes to change into.” She pouted. “Wait here,” Anakin ran up to his room, grabbed a white sweatshirt and some basketball shorts. “Here these should fit.” Y/N grabbed the clothing, she grabbed the basketball shorts and threw them at him, “take these back, I only sleep in oversized shirts.” And then she shocked Anakin. “Help me change,” Y/N said miserably as she couldn’t unbutton her shirt. Did she just get drunk again? She was fucking sober like 5 minutes ago. “Are you gonna help me!?” she started raising her voice. Anakin, afraid that she was going to wake his mom and Cliegg, got on the sofa and started unbuttoning her shirt. The curtain was slightly open, so he looked out the window as he unbuttoned her shirt, and he saw his worst fear become reality. Padme was standing outside, in his driveway, she hadn’t seen what was going on indoors, but the tears streaming down her face showed that she saw everything that happened outside. Padme noticed Anakin had seen her and ran off.

Taglist

@songbirdcannabe

@blondekel77

Sorry a few issues came up so I wasn't able to upload this past week. However, they have been resolved so I'll be back to updating regularly.

[chokemeanakin]

Being brought up a slave (You know, one of the only professions left were human interaction is a must in a galaxy that's overrun with droids) he's probably a very physical person. That brought him a lot of issues with the Jedi, in the beginning, until Obi understood that things like a hug as a reward or an occasional hair ruffle when in a good mood were incredible motivators. They both understand that it's frowned upon so it's not v public but they have a very (platonically) touchy relationship

FUCK OKAY THATS SO CUTE

I read a fic once where it was like Anakin as a little kid, new Palawan, and he’d wake up with nightmares and then go to Obi Wan bc he used to have his mom but now he doesn’t. And Obi Wan sorta just lets him sleep in the bed and neither of them mention it when they’re awake. And I just— 🤧🤧🤧🤧

I’m such a self indulgent ‘Anakin x Touch Starved Reader’ bitch but now you’re making me want to do Touch Starved Anakin headcanons 🥺🥺🥺

(Ps it’s very late and I can barely see so sorry if there’s spelling errors)

Touch Starved Anakin x gn Reader Hc’s:

•It’s no secret Anakin is a very touchy, physical person

•At least.. it may seem that way to the other Jedi. Unlike the rest of them, Anakin grew up with a mother’s love, and maternal affection was a normal part of his life

•Cheek kisses, goodnight hugs, ruffled hair when he came in and was sandy. Out of everything he missed the most about his mother when he left Tatooine, it was the feeling of her coarse hands wiping away the grease stains on his cheeks after a long day in Watto’s junk shop.

•Really, he was probably just a normal human with a normal need for physical touch. But everyone else was so used to just not doing that, that it made him seem like the outlier.

•It’s not like there was anyone he’d want to do any of that stuff with. He used to crawl into Obi Wan’s bed as a kid whenever he had nightmares, but he grew out of that

•Still, sometimes he had the overwhelming urge to just touch someone— hold them or be held. Just feel someone’s presence right up again his, one that wasn’t through the force.

•Over time it got easier to surpress the urges.

•But then of course Obi-Wan would clasp him on the shoulder, or steady him on a rocky transport ship, or touch his arm when offering him kind words of praise after a mission gone well. And Anakin would look at the hand on his arm, long for it to stay there a little longer...

•But no. It was wrong. He was a Jedi, and Jedi are forbidden to have attachments.

•And then you came along, and everything he planned for his life flew out the window. (just like Windu oop)

•You caught on very quick how much Anakin enjoyed your touch.

•He would instantly smile if you so much as held his hand

•Every little brush of your fingers against his skin had him leaning into your touch, closing his eyes, sighing deeply

•If you smooth his bangs away from his eyes, his eyes will flutter and he’ll gravitate closer to you

•You grab his arm to get his attention and he’ll jump, and turn to you immediately

•If you hug him, he’ll hold you against him so tight like he’s afraid you’ll pull away and leave too soon

• (Absolutely lives for hugs)

•He’ll breathe you in deep and rest his chin on your head or shoulder, one hand between your shoulder blades and one hand pressing you into him by the small of your back. He’ll sway gently on his feet, and hum softly in appreciation

•Play with his hair and he’ll melt in your arms

•He will never want to admit it, and even if he does it’ll be hard for him to stutter out the explanation, but eventually he will just tell you that he loves to feel your touch. It makes him feel less alone and loved and cared for

•So you indulge him. Duh.

•Let your lips linger against his a little longer. Trace shapes into his chest when you’re lying down together. Wind your arms around his waist and rest your head against his back when he’s meditating by the window.

•Sometimes if he’s been on a mission and it’s been too long, that first initial touch is just... fireworks. He collapses into you and a little shiver wracks his body and you squeeze him tight, rub some warmth back into him

•He’ll never ever complain if you just wanna hold onto him in some way, cause he lives for that shit

•Bb needs more hugs ☺️☺️☺️

[katierosefun]

back on my w: two worlds bullshit but also make it star wars and obi-wan and anakin angst, because in typical caroline fashion, i’ve wondered about like. au? au. like, lowkey a canon divergence but also not a canon divergence au, i don’t really know how to describe it, but it’s really fucking meta--

anyways. thoughts under the cut, because i don’t want to burden anyone with ‘caroline what are you talking about why don’t you just write/don’t you have things to do’ shhhHHHHhh at this point i’m just a miserable pile of half-written docs and ideas but let me word-vomit for a second  (but also please do indulge me in this because i need to scream and i lowkey am into this idea but also i have too many things to write but also)

okay, so i’ve already rambled a bit about w: two worlds, but basically, the actual kdrama’s premise is that a young woman accidentally is dragged into the world of the comic/webtoon her father writes--essentially, this young woman saves the comic protagonist’s life, and she keeps accidentally slipping into the world, and it’s just. it’s so fucking meta and so fucking good and so fucking smart, and even though i think this is the kind of story that you.....can’t really mimic just because of how fucking smart and unique it is, it still got me thinking about star wars but make it “w” and uh--

disclaimer: i don’t think i’d ever actually write this because it would be so niche and also so incredibly convoluted, idk man i’m just kinda going off here: 

- so, the events of rots do happen. (note how i said that this is still slight canon-divergence au but also not? yeah, it’s about to get super complicated) 

- and of course, at this point, the galaxy like....no one except like obi-wan and yoda and bail actually know that darth vader is anakin, right? i think that’s what the situation is? 

- anyways, i think that’s where the story picks up: obi-wan’s in the middle-of-nowhere tatooine, and no one knows where/what the fuck happened to anakin skywalker, but we know that anakin skywalker was a pretty well-respected/public figure (because war propagandaaaaa) 

- anyways, thinking about obi-wan kenobi coming into town one day and realizing that people are shadily passing around a data pad to look at hey, this story just updated!!! this story just updated, and obi-wan realizes that there’s a rebelling artist somewhere out in the galaxy making comics about a young man who just so happens to Look Like and Act Like and also is named Anakin Skywalker, except he’s not a jedi, he’s just a regular guy making an honest living in the galaxy (and also on the hunt to avenge his friends’ and his family’s mysterious deaths) 

- i know, really fucking meta at this point 

- things are harmless enough: obi-wan tries to ignore this comic’s existence (if anything, he’s a little insulted by it because how dare you use his face and his name and turn it into...whatever this is), but like. 

- the thing is, grief is a funny thing, and sometimes you start to look for your person everywhere. 

- so obi-wan winds up reading along. he reads, and sometimes he thinks that things are a little too eerie--like, apparently, obi-wan is one of the people who was mysteriously killed / anakin’s mom was mysteriously killed / the dialogue is way too fucking real-- 

- anyways, the comic updates one day: obi-wan sees that the author has somehow decided to basically almost kill off anakin--bleeding out in the middle of nowhere, and obi-wan just watches and it’s painful because this isn’t actually anakin, this is just a comic character-- 

- and that’s when obi-wan gets pulled in. 

- obi-wan kenobi--our obi-wan kenobi--staring at this anakin skywalker-but-not-really-anakin-skywalker, who is bleeding out at his feet-- 

- obi-wan saves anakin’s life because what else is he gonna do, it doesn’t matter if this guy is a comic book character or not--he’s still going to save this person who has his best friend’s face 

- obi-wan gets transported back into his world. he looks down at the comic to find a drawing of himself saving the comic-anakin and promptly freaks tf out because that just happened why did that happen how the fuck did that happen 

- anyways, lots of other things happen. obi-wan now sometimes gets randomly pulled into this comic, and the comic-anakin skywalker is freaking out a little too because he’s like “you look exactly like my best friend, only my best friend was murdered”. and our obi-wan’s just like “yeah. i know the feeling--” 

- meanwhile, somewhere on the other side of the galaxy, imagine darth vader/anakin walking past a bunch of stormtroopers/former clone troopers and discovering this comic (lol this is kinda funny but also kinda not, because vader’s going to be like “find this artist and kill them”) 

- but who is the artist? who is the author? do we know? (we do not. at least, not right away.) 

- but anyways, back to obi-wan and comic-anakin: holy shit, okay, it seems like i’m getting a little invested now oh no, but anyways, in the comic, obi-wan still meets others: he meets a comic-padme (who is Not Married to comic anakin but there’s obviously some flirting there), and he meets a comic-ahsoka and a comic-rex, and it’s utterly painful for obi-wan because. because in this world. in this world, things are kind of okay. 

- comic-anakin still doesn’t know where obi-wan’s come from though--comic-anakin doesn’t know that he’s just a comic character. (which makes for Bad Realizations later.) 

- uh now there are other details i want to work out and an Actual Storyline in the process here in this what started as a joke to now what is turning into a brainstorm, but like-- 

- the actual plot? idk probably something to do with comic-anakin slowly realizing that he is. actually. just some grieving author’s fantasy / darth vader in real-time tracking down obi-wan and whoever tf is writing this comic / obi-wan constantly being yanked into this world against his will. 

- angst? so much angst. 

- just thinking about how our obi-wan decides to help comic-anakin.....comic-anakin being like “who are you?” / obi-wan: “me? i’m someone who wants you to have a happy ending. at least in this life. in this world.” / comic-anakin: ??? 

- kind of a bittersweet ending ngl-- 

- comic-anakin learns the truth: everything, from the fact that he. he is but someone’s imagination, to the fact that obi-wan comes from the Real World and that the Anakin Skywalker of the Real World turns into a villain/is the real killer of everyone he’s ever loved. 

- sad. so sad. 

- but ends with comic-anakin giving our obi-wan one last hug. (”i’m sorry that you never got to save your anakin.” / obi-wan trying really, really, really hard not to cry because a part of him doesn’t want to leave this world. this world where everyone’s safe and alive, but he has to go. in the end, he always has to go.) 

- as obi-wan leaves, comic-anakin smiles at him. (”i’m someone who’s rooting for you to have a happy ending.”) 

- anyways. uh. oh god. 

[moldisgoodforyou]

love you for a long time

gif from @anakin-skywalker​

warnings: graphic depictions of abuse, physical and verbal, cursing

wordcount: 3.2k

________

In the afternoon of Christmas day at Charlie’s house, the excitement had calmed down and everyone was recovering from the aftermath of the activities that morning.

“You don’t mind if I head out for a bit, right?” JJ asked, scuffing the floor with his boot as he spoke. “No, of course not. Go hang with the pogues, I’ll see you later.” Charlie nudged his shoulder. He paused before leaving. “I’ll be back, promise.” She furrowed her brow slightly. “I know, J. Go have fun.” He turned his lips up in a smile, a little forced, and gave her a quick kiss before leaving. “Love you.” She handed him a plate of cookies she had set aside just for his friends and smiled. “Love you too.”

The afternoon was fun, relaxed, and he felt at home again in the Chateau, boots kicked up on the couch and Kie knocking them away like normal. He only felt slightly guilty when a joint was passed around but limited himself so he felt just a small high, brief enough for the moment. He only allowed himself to smoke when he was in the Outer Banks, in the safety of the Chateau, and he didn’t want to come home high to Charlie - mainly for her family’s sake. (If he even heard one teasing remark about him being a bad influence on Jamie, he’d swear off drugs forever.)

 “Didn’t bring your girl, JJ?” John B greeted him, slinging his arm around his shoulders and pulling him in for a hug.

JJ beamed the way he always did when someone referred to Charlie like that, as his girl, but shook his head and lied straight through his teeth. “Nah, they went to her grandparents’ house. I get to spend the day with you fools.” 

“Lucky you.” Pope quipped, joining the hug. JJ grinned and tucked his head in with the two, finding a familiar comfort in their embrace. “Missed you guys, you know.” 

Really, he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop by his dad’s if he had Charlie in tow. He did this every year - showed up, got yelled at (sometimes worse), and was sorely reminded of why he didn’t talk to his dad or get replies if he sent him texts of what he was up to at school. His text thread with Luke was a string of unanswered messages from JJ, with a picture of him and Charlie dressed up for a formal - ‘hey dad, this is my girlfriend’ or a short message about school - ‘got an A on my marketing midterm today, kind of a big deal.’ Despite the pain it caused, JJ kept going back, like a moth drawn to flame.

When JJ came back to the Walker’s home, later than expected, he headed straight to Charlie’s room, barely giving her parents a greeting as he passed. His fists were shoved in his pockets and he gave them a brief nod and an excuse of “gonna go grab a hoodie from Charlie” before heading upstairs, even though it was technically off limits. Her dad went to say something but her mom registered his change in demeanor and stiff posture and stopped him, cutting him off from speaking and waving JJ upstairs.

Charlie was playing a card game with Jamie on her bed when JJ came in, awkwardly standing in the doorway. The siblings glanced up at the same time and Jamie grinned, gesturing for him to come play, while Charlie frowned as her eyes scanned over his set jaw and eyes rimmed red. “I’ll finish playing with you later, Jamie, take the cards.” She instructed calmly, not taking her eyes off JJ.

“But I -”

“Jamie. Go.” Jamie huffed and gathered the cards, then slipped out past him, JJ ruffling his hair affectionately as he left. JJ stepped forward slightly, shutting the door behind him, and finally took his hands out of his pockets, flexing them. Charlie spoke quietly. “What happened, J?”

“I, uh.” His voice cracked but he stood tall, unmoving. “Saw my dad.”

She stood and tugged him toward the bed by his wrist, noticing his split knuckles. “Did he...?” She trailed off curiously, frowning. He had only joked about his dad being a deadbeat in passing, and never quite elaborated on the extent of the abuse. Just said he was hit as a kid and left it at that, and Charlie was so shocked into silence that she left it too. 

JJ took a careful seat next to her on the bed and hissed when he bit his split lip. She took his hand in hers carefully, rubbing her thumb soothingly over the knuckles. “JJ, what...what exactly...” Charlie asked quietly, unsure on how to approach it.

____

The first time something happened, JJ was ten.

His mom had just left him and Luke, and his dad had drunk practically half the liquor store’s supply within a week. JJ stayed out all day, only returning at sundown after he had stolen a sandwich or so from the grocery store (sometimes of his own accord, sometimes the teenager working the other side of the counter looked at the messy unkempt kid with pity and slid one surreptitiously across the counter). He had done his best to avoid his dad when he knew he’d be active and was often able to creep back into his rickety old house and into his room without incident.

One night he miscalculated.

He returned home after playing with John B out on the beach all day, hair still wet and bare feet sandy. When his little feet made enough noise to alert his dad sitting at their decrepit kitchen table, cigarette in hand, he froze.

“Where the fuck have you been?” Luke drawled, eyes narrowing at JJ’s presence.

“School.” JJ replied hurriedly. “I gotta shower. G’night Dad.” He tried side stepping past his dad, but he caught JJ’s scrawny arm in his grip. He eyed over his child’s appearance, zeroing in on his eyes.

“Blue eyes just like your mother.”

JJ merely nodded, unsure.

“You remind me of her. Every fuckin’ day.” He snarled. “You’re the reason, you know that?”

“What?”

“She packed up and left me with you. Didn’t want to take care of you anymore.” His grip tightened on JJ’s arm and JJ’s heart rate quickened, suddenly aware this wasn’t the normal lecture he was used to receiving from his dad.

“I can take care of myself.” He offered meekly.

Wrong answer.

JJ’s dad brought his hand to his face and slapped him across the cheek, hard enough for JJ’s ears to start ringing and his cheek to sting with the imprint of his dad’s fingers. JJ stumbled backward out of his dad’s grip, hand to his cheek as he just stared at his dad in shock.

“You can’t. You’re a fucking kid, a fucking kid we didn’t need, and now you’re a fucking burden!” Luke roared, spitting at JJ’s feet. JJ never let his wide eyes stray from his dad as he backed up, further and further out the room, until he was scrambling out the window in his bedroom and taking off as far as he could get away from the tiny little shack he called home.

He slept in a hammock by the beach that night, letting the sound of the waves rock him to sleep after he cried himself to exhaustion. A mistake. A burden. Just like his mother. Those words echoed through his head in his dreams and he tossed fitfully in the hammock, little fingers curled into the woven material.

___

As JJ recalled those first moments, a memory he had tried so hard to suppress but was unsuccessful each time, he stared ahead and stayed stiff, jaw set. “He started when I was ten, after my mom left. Then I moved out when I was 18 and avoided him like hell.” He laughed, no humor to his tone. “Guess he’s not done with trying to hit his kid though.” 

“How often?” Charlie’s voice was small and pulled JJ abruptly out of his thoughts. Her gaze flitted over his expression, filled with worry, afraid to hear the answer. He shrugged. “Twice? Three times?”

“...a month?” 

He laughed again, bitter. “A week. Sometimes in a day, but I learned how to run fast enough.”  

“JJ.” She breathed out, horrified. 

“Don’t.” He replied quickly, still not looking at her. “Don’t need your pity.” 

“It’s not - J, you should have taken me, I would have stopped it - I’ll go and -” He grabbed her knee suddenly as she moved to rise. “Hell no, Charlie, you’re not going there over my dead body.” JJ finally made eye contact, swallowing hard as he tried blinking back tears. Truthfully, he was more overcome with emotion at her immediate willingness to protect him than anything.

At that, she went to throw her arms around him, moving too quick, and he flinched out of instinct. Charlie’s face dropped as she pulled her arms back to her side, until he leaned slightly into her and rested his head down on her shoulder. 

She moved slower at his permission, tugging him gently to lay back on the bed, his head rested on her chest as she combed her fingers gently through his hair. After a while, she broke the silence. “J? Why’d you go?”

He shrugged, curling his hand around her hip. “Dunno. Thought he might come around and be nice for once. You know, Christmas spirit and all.”

“JJ, hon…” Her voice cracked and she tried choking back a sob, but it still eked out. JJ lifted his head, dried tear streaks down his cheeks as he’d let himself cry when she couldn’t see his face. “Hey. No crying on my account.” 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’m just -” She took a deep breath, trying to compose herself. “I’m so fucking angry, JJ. The thought of anyone hurting you - especially your dad - you don’t deserve that.”  

“Hm.”

“JJ.”

“Maybe I do.”

“JJ, don’t you fucking dare go there.”

He set his jaw and tucked back into her before continuing. “I said some stuff today I probably shouldn’t have.” 

“That doesn’t give him any right to hit you, fucking hell.” Charlie seethed, though she rubbed his back soothingly. “I thought about hitting back.” He mumbled. “Does that scare you?” 

“No. He would have deserved it.” She muttered, lips pressed together in a thin line. 

JJ’s lips turned up in a small smile and he lifted his head, glancing up at her. “You’re hot when you’re mad,” he tried deflecting. She scowled and tugged him up to kiss him, hard. “Listen.” Another kiss. “I love you. So much.” Another one. “You are so, so, special to me, hon, and you don’t deserve any of that. Not a single second of it.” 

As he opened his mouth to argue, she cut him off with another kiss. “Don’t you dare protest, because I won’t listen. You’re the most loyal person I know, J. You deserve the world.” 

He kept silent but the corners of his eyes crinkled into a smile and the tips of his ears burned red in embarrassment. “Charlie.”

“No, I’m not done. I feel so safe when I’m with you. Sometimes I get overwhelmed with how much I fucking love you. Always will.” Her kisses turned sweet and she peppered them all over his face until he flinched as she reached his cheekbone, a red mark blooming. “Careful, sweetheart.” He murmured and she pulled back, frowning. “I’m going to get ice and rubbing alcohol, then I want to clean you up. Your knuckles look rough.”

JJ shook his head quickly. “It’s fine, Charlie, I don’t want your mom and dad to -” 

“I won’t tell them. Stay here.” She cut him off and kissed him quickly before heading downstairs. 

Her dad was whispering to her mom in the kitchen, a deep frown on his face, and stopped abruptly when Charlie rounded the corner. Her mom looked shocked and raised her eyebrows at Charlie. “Charlotte, is it...?”

“Were you eavesdropping?” Charlie asked, affronted on JJ’s behalf.

“I went to go check on him and I overheard. I’m sorry.” Her dad apologized quickly. “We won’t say a word.” He added, cutting her mom off from saying anything else.

“Don’t you dare. He only just opened up to me and I still don’t think I’m getting the whole story.” She grabbed an ice pack out of the freezer and paused before heading back upstairs. “Don’t treat him differently, he’ll know. He’ll think I told you and then he won’t trust me, I - just - don’t.” She snapped, then ran back upstairs before her parents could object.

When she returned, JJ had his shirt off and was inspecting a blooming bruise on his ribs in the mirror, frowning as he splayed his hand over it. Charlie gasped and shut the door quickly, crossing the room in a few short strides to hand over the ice pack. “It’s not that bad.” He told her quickly, trying to reassure her. “Just a beer bottle, fists are worse.” 

“That’s not...that’s not right, J. They’re not broken, are they?” She asked, reaching out. He let her tenderly prod the bruise, oddly disconnected from the pain under her gentle touch. “I think they’re okay.” She told him, demeanor going professional. “Lay down for me?” 

He nodded and did so, letting her wrap the ice pack in a towel and press it gently to his side. Charlie sat next to him then wet a cotton ball with the rubbing alcohol and took his hand, glancing over. “It’s gonna sting.”  

“I know. Go for it.” He only let out a low hiss when she swiped the cotton ball across all his knuckles, hand squeezing hers reflexively. “You said you only thought about hitting back.” She pointed out, pressing her lips to the back of his hand. He nodded and looked a little sheepish. “Hit the tree out front.” 

“Hm.” She replied, looking closer for splinters, then set the rubbing alcohol aside. 

“He’s called me a good kid before.”  

“Yeah?”  

JJ nodded. “A couple times.” He added vaguely, though he remembered each time clear as day. “But I’m not sure he’s ever said he loves me.”

“I love you.” She frowned and adjusted the ice pack for him, keeping it in place. “I’ll tell you that every second of the day if you need it.”

“I know. But it’s different.” He mused, falling silent again. She didn’t push the topic, knowing she’d never quite understand. “Your mom, she…” He started, getting a little choked up.  

“What is it, J?” She asked, combing through his hair again. 

“A few days ago, she said it. About me.” 

She furrowed her brow slightly. “When?” 

“When she was about to lecture you.” He smirked a little and she felt herself relaxing just at the small sign of his usual demeanor. “She was talking about us having a kid, and she said as much as I love JJ…” He trailed off. “I don’t remember the rest. But she said it so easily. I’m not even her kid.”  

And my heart doesn’t work like that, JJ thought to himself. He stayed guarded, putting his trust in very few people. It was a miracle that he trusted Charlie so much, after only a short amount of time.

“Doesn’t matter. She still loves you. My dad does too, you know? And Jamie.” 

His brow furrowed slightly. “You don’t have to lie, Charlie.”  

“I’m serious. Everyone shows it in different ways. My mom made sure to ask your favorite recipes before we came home just so you could have something special over Christmas. My dad will text me with articles to share with you, or a song he thought you’d like, only because you two talked about Led Zeppelin once. Jamie practiced surfing with his friends every single weekend before we came back, just so he could impress you.” She paused, running her thumb gently along his jaw. “Family is family, even if it wasn’t yours from the start.” 

When he teared up a little, her eyes went wide, slightly panicking. “Don’t cry, J, please.”  

“You can’t say things like that and not expect me to have an emotional response, Charlie.” He teased, sitting up and pulling her in for a deep kiss. She smiled against his lips, holding back a little so she didn’t hurt him. “I mean it, JJ. I’m gonna love you for a long time.” 

“Love you too, sweetheart.” He promised sincerely, before drawing her in for another kiss. 

_____

After some time, the two made their way downstairs, hand-in-hand, tempted by the smell of dinner cooking. Her mom clapped her hands together with a grin, eyes only flitting over JJ’s cheek for a  moment. “Just in time for dinner, you two! JJ, dear, I heard mac and cheese was your favorite, so I put that together with some cornbread and brie stuffed chicken. Oh! And apple pie for dessert.”

JJ scanned over the table with wide eyes, impressed. “This looks incredible, Mrs. Walker, you didn’t have to do all that.”  

“Well, we had to do right by our favorite guest.” She smiled and handed him a plate, urging him forward. “There you go, eat up.” 

“What happened to your face?” Jamie questioned, without tact. 

“James!” Her mother scolded, sending JJ an apologetic smile. He shook his head, ruffling Jamie’s hair. “S’okay. Fell when I was out surfing with my friends.” 

Charlie frowned slightly at how easily he covered the lie. Jamie’s jaw dropped, indignant. “You went without me?” 

JJ laughed. “Had to take on the big waves for a second, kiddo. I’ll take you tomorrow, alright?” 

“For real?” Jamie brightened, his insolence short-lived. “I’m learning how to cutback, I can show you. And you can help me too, I know you’re good at it.”  

“For real.” JJ promised, beaming at Charlie. She pressed a kiss to his cheek, smiling. “Told you.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” He dismissed, but was beaming ear-to-ear.

Once they finished dinner and dessert, JJ’s mood was considerably lifted as he realized how truly comfortable he felt around Charlie’s family. “JJ, come help me with the fire?” Her dad asked, pushing away from the table. JJ nodded and followed dutifully. The two built the frame mainly in silence, until JJ shoved a log under the a-frame, arranging the kindling on top. 

“Never seen it done that way.” Her dad commented with raised eyebrows, but handed him the matchbox anyways. 

“Uh, cuts down on the wood you need to burn. But we can do it your way if you’d like, yours might be better -” JJ started, hurriedly going to rearrange the wood. Her dad caught his arm gently and JJ froze, forcing himself to exhale. “Let’s try it your way, bud, might be better.” 

JJ nodded and lit the fire, and her dad whistled in appreciation when it caught quickly, roaring to flame. “I’ll be damned.” Charlie came out, handing both of them a beer, a little hesitant with JJ. He accepted it with a grateful smile, leaning into her when she curled her arm protectively around his waist. “You’re handy with a lot of these things, aren’t you, JJ?” Her dad asked. 

“A little. I like working on physical things.” 

“I heard you changed the spark plugs on Charlie’s car, I’ve been trying to figure that out for ages. I’m impressed.” He offered an encouraging smile and JJ ran his hand through his hair, grateful it was dark enough to hide his blush. “Yeah, well. Didn’t want something to happen when she was driving, so I took care of it.”   

“I appreciate that. You’re good at taking care of her, kid.” Her dad lifted his beer bottle and JJ tapped the neck of the glass against his, grinning once he took a sip. “She’s worth it.” 

[nikkialena]

More Than Just A Number

What he do now, was the first thought to cross your mind when Obi-wan requested a meeting with you. As long as you've known Anakin you've learned that he's a magnet for trouble, not that you were any different as a padawan but you were both generals now, there was a time for games and a time to be serious and Anakin couldn't seem to differentiate the two. Although a small smile tugged at the edge of your lips at the thought of seeing a couple of old friends, as you walked into the Jedi temple you were greeted by an overly eager Anakin whisking you into a hug and an annoyed looking Obi-Wan. "Hi Ani, long time no see huh whatcha been up to," you asked as he let you go and smiled his signature cocky grin "well you know stuff" he muttered scratching the back of his neck, "so getting into trouble and causing problems for everyone else?"

A couple of Jedi council members snorted including Obi-Wan, Anakin just crossed his arms "you call it trouble I call it thinking outside the box" he mumbled with a slight hurt look on his face, "it's good to see you [Y/N] but we called you here because we need another general in my absence...also nobody else really wants to work with Anakin" Obi-wan mentioned while rubbing his temples. "Hey" Anakin shouted but you ignored him as Yoda and Obi-wan briefed you on the rest of the situation, "why me though I mean I don't mind but these hundreds of other Jedi" Yoda touched your shoulder as a gentle smile touched his lips." Strong with the force you are, strong like Anakin" and that's how you ended up babysi- working with Anakin, currently you were locked in a tense battle of dejarik waiting for him to make a move. Either way, he was fucked he only had one character left with two hp while you still had three with full hp, if you looked close enough you could see beads of sweat forming on his forehead as he tried to think of a way to outmaneuver you but that wasn't likely, whaling softly he accepted defeat and moved his character forward which proceeded to be pummeled by yours.

Throwing your hands in the air you snapped your fingers and swished your hips in a little victory dance "face it sky guy you'll never beat me in this game", Anakin snorted and crossed his arm "I'll have you know I came very close to winning last round...anyway I have something to attend to" he uttered briskly standing up. "You mean someone" you teased and he blushed softly speedily walking away leaving you to go talk to his precious Padme, ever since you were little kids she was all he could talk about, you remembered the day they met he came back to you shouting 'hey guess what I saw a girl a real girl' you'd given him a pointed look hurt evident on your face. He quickly tried to fix the situation by mumbling how you were a girl but not like a girl girl nonetheless, it hurt your feelings.

This is why to this day you always wear a hooded robe, you were an interesting character to look at since your mom was a twi'lek and your father a zarak most people gawked at you whenever you removed your hood. Walking into the bathroom you splashed your face with cold water before staring at yourself in the mirror, with hesitant fingers you pulled back your crimson hood allowing your lekku to fall freely, two of them draped over your shoulder while the other two hung behind you reaching a trembling hand to the crown of your head you traced one of the jagged horns sprouting from your scalp. They completely circled your head like a mangled crown of sorts, you'd cut them off multiple times before but they just grew back with a vengeance standing taller than before, almost like they were mocking you for your futile attempts. Your hand slowly reached for your saber attached to your hip when you sensed a presence from outside the door, quickly throwing on your hood you dried your face with your sleeves and opened the door, "how may I help you, Captain Rex?"

He stared at you for a second before fixing his posture and saluting you "oh um nothing ma'am general skywalker just sent me to check up on you because you weren't answering your comlink", you stared down at the comlink blinking on your wrist and held in the urge to facepalm you were so lost in thought you didn't hear Ani calling out to you. A soft blush of embarrassment washed over you as you scratched the back of your hood "I can assure you I'm fine Captain Rex" he gave an acute nod before turning to leave, you weren't exactly sure what compelled you to grab him but you reached out and grabbed him. "Sir," he asked questionably looking down at your delicate fingers wrapped tightly around his wrist, you could feel his confusion through the force and your confusion as well, clearing your throat you nodded at the game "fancy a game captain?" He was wearing his mask so you couldn't see his eyes but you could feel his surprise and you didn't even need to use the force to sense it, "me" came his confused voice.

You rolled your eyes and shoved your hands in your pockets "no the wall...of course you", you sensed a slightly joyous aurora oozing from him as he sat down across from you, taking your seat a small smirk touched your lips as you motioned with your hand "you can go the first Captain". Damn. You hadn't expected this much of a challenge usually you'd crush your opponent in under ten-fifteen minutes flat but Rex, was built differently he'd seen through all of your ploys and called all your bluffs holy fuck he might actually beat you. It was your turn to sweat as your fingertips hovered over different characters altogether. You had about fifteen health points to his sixty, you were growing quite frustrated mostly because you couldn't read him.

Part of your strategy was being able to see your opponent's face but he was wearing a helmet, technically he couldn't see your face either but that was an irrelevant factor, "take off your helmet I wanna see the shocked expression on your face when I cream you". He chuckled and it was deep sexy and raspy, "I don't think that's going to help you much general but okay" with one sift motion his helmet was off and neatly placed on the table, you felt your smile flatter as he once again saw through you and your antics but boy was he gorgeous. He had a hard jawline with a small cut etched into the bottom of his chin, two golden orbs pierced your soul reading your every thought before you could make them, his skin was sunkissed and his hair a bright blonde styled in a low buzz cut a small smile formed on his lips as he uttered the words "your move".

You could feel the confidence oozing from him and it irritated you, that's not how you liked your men exhaling a low breath you moved one of your characters, it punched his heavy hitter, and took a critical low leaving it with one hp left. You shifted your [e/c] eye to his with a slight nod letting him know that it was his turn, unable to contain his smile any longer his lips curled into a sinister grin as he worked a combo on your characters ultimately massacring them, your shoulders slumped in defeat as he almost jumped from his seat but composed himself. "Good game Captain" you grouched extending a hand out to him he reached a handout and shook it, his hands were big and warm as they enveloped yours "thank you ma'am better luck next time" he sang in a slightly arrogant tone "you don't have to call me sir or ma'am you know my name is [Y/N] just call me that" you could feel a whole plethora of emotions coming from him joy, pride, confusion and honor he hesitated for a moment before mumbling. "Okay ma'- I mean [Y/N]" he quickly corrected himself as he slowly began to rise from the chair you arched a brow "where are you going?" He looked at you confused as you nodded at the game "it's best out three bitch" he smiled softly and plopped back down "well if you really want to lose that bad I guess" he teased

[boonki]

ask from the lovely @lynnpaper from these prompts! Sorry in advance for the long post, but I love talking about my writing!! ❤️

F - Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

So this is a little snippet from my college au from a chapter I haven’t posted yet (or edited yet, for that matter)- I just love writing Anakin’s and Ahsoka’s friendship so much and I think this captures their dynamic well (at least I hope so!): 

The small screen of Anakin’s laptop lights up the corner of his dorm room, a scary video game compilation playing on youtube. Ahsoka makes grabby hands for Anakin’s box of Cheez-its, and he reluctantly hands her the box, keeping his eyes glued to the screen. This has become their destressing ritual; Ahsoka always jokes that there’s nothing more relaxing than being scared shitless in a dark room at two am, and Anakin kind of has to agree. He does sleep better after watching Ahsoka lose her shit giggling and screaming for an hour.

The character onscreen makes their way through a nearly pitch black house, flashlight practically useless. Anakin’s stomach is clenched, a jump scare has to be coming soon.

Then, out of nowhere:

“So, are you going to ask him out?”

Anakin’s neck almost cracks, he snaps his head towards her so quickly. “What?”

She talks around a mouth of Cheez-its. “Oh, c’mon, you and Obi-wan. You clearly like him, and it sounds like he likes you too. So,” she shakes the box and shoves more into her mouth, giving herself chipmunk cheeks “you gon’ass’im?”

Anakin snatches the box out of her hands. “Absolutely not.”

Ahsoka sighs out of her nose and finishes chewing. “Why not? No-” she holds up a hand at his shriveling look “-hear me out. You really like him, Anakin. And I know we’ve never really talked about it, but I get the sense you’ve never really had a boyfriend before, and I don’t want you to pass this by just because you’re scared.”

Anakin is quiet for a moment, absentmindedly watching the video. “It’s not just that I’m scared. Well, I am, but it’s…” he shakes his head, grappling for the right words. Ahsoka watches him, patient. “Listen, my mom doesn’t know that I’m...that I like boys. And so I’ve never had the possibility of something working out with someone before, because I’ve always lived at home. And like, what if it works out and I fall in love with him, and then I lose him?” He closes his eyes at the emotion threatening tears, his honesty unlocking little bits of himself that he had neatly tucked away. “What if I fuck it all up? And the holidays are coming up and what if he wants to meet my family and what would I tell my mom? God, what if he doesn’t even like men and I’m just pining over someone I can’t have? Besides, why would he ever want someone like me?”

Ahsoka considers this all carefully, her lower lip pushed out in thought.

Anakin, eyes still closed, feels a sharp poke on his cheek: her finger. He startles, ready to admonish her, but she beats him to it.

“You’ll never know if you don’t try.”

He looks down at the Cheez-it box. “I know, but-”

“And you deserve happiness, okay? Anakin, you deserve to be loved. I’m sorry that your mom doesn’t see eye to eye with you on this, but I’ll always love you and support you, no matter what, okay?” She reaches out and squeezes his bicep. “Go after him. You want this.”

Anakin can’t look at her, his eyes welling up in tears at her honesty, her love, her friendship. He is so lucky to have her.

She grabs the box back, takes a large handful into her mouth. “If you don’t ask him out, I’m gonna tell him about the time you farted when I cracked your back.”

He winces. “It was one time, please, let me forget.”

“Never. It smelled so bad.”

“I mean, I could probably go for one right now,” he presses on his stomach, and grins devilishly at her, “if we’re gonna talk about how bad they smell.”

Her eyebrows jump up, and so does she, racing for the door. “No, absolutely not, goodbye and goodnight, I am going home.”

“Come back, I’m kidding.” He’s laughing, deep belly laughs that are working to cleanse him of the sadness of their conversation.

She eyes him warily. “Pinky promise.”

He holds up his pinky. “Pinky promise.”

When she lifts her hand, he grabs her wrist and pulls her into his side, trapping her in a hug.

“Thank you, for, y’know...being my friend.” He mumbles into her hair while she squirms against him.

She stills. “Anytime, loser.” Her arms thread around his middle, hugging him back. He can smell the lingering Cheez-its on her breath. “I mean it, you deserve love.”

G - Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

Start to finish! I usually outline in detail first and then sit down and actually do the writing. The only times I’ll write in advance is if a scene is really bugging to be written or I get sudden inspiration. Otherwise I confuse myself writing out of order- keeping track of all the details in a fic is really hard 😭

N - Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?

Oooh yes. There’s this living ship/pirate au that we’ve kicked around on the discord server I’m a part of and I have a vague outline out of it but I have so many other projects going on so I haven’t gotten to it! But I’m so excited for it! I love the premise so much. I wish someone else could write it out so I could just read it 😂

R - Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?

Most definitely! I can’t name names but every fic I read I pay attention to the style and prose and definitely get inspired by it and try to work it into my own writing! Lately I’ve been trying to get better at making sure there’s enough detail in a scene so it’s not all prose and dialogue, so I’ve been paying attention to that in fics. But if I’ve ever read your fic, you’ve influenced me in some way. 

U - Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

This is so hard!! There are so many good writers out there!! 

Off the top of my head: 

@sonderwalker writes great sickfics and hurt/comfort, she makes me literally uwu in my heart

@shatouto has beautiful, lyrical works that i adore

@intermundia - everything they write is gold. my god

@katierosefun has wonderful little prompts that make me smile every time they come across my dash! 

@jenjenpup her future in motion fic is one of my favorite right now! 

@unpheenix young and menace is going to be one of my all time favs 

lilyconrad on ao3 (anyone know their tumblr?) - i’ve read like everything theyve written 

@xeniaraven i love everything!!! so good!! i always want to scream in the comments after

WhiteMoose and Ripki on ao3 - wrote fucking beautiful novels for fun?? hello?? their fics are amazing 

and so many more omg literally all my friends on here are such talented writers that keep me on my toes! i feel like i have to keep up with them!! if you didn’t get mentioned please know that you should be on here, i just suck at remembering everyone (that’s what happens when you read like 453489 fics a day)

thank you for the ask my dear!! i hope you have a wonderful rest of your day!! ❤️❤️❤️

[cosmik-homo]

As far as I know we have never discussed a death gate star wars au and I feel like you'd have great ideas for that....

Now, you see, I thought about it before once or twice- hyperfixation brain go brrr- but the thing is the only era in which I can even vaguely imagine a translation, at least from how I see it, is old republic, and idk shit about old republic because I got stuck in Rather Early But Also Just Enough Two Digits Of Hours In That I Wouldn't Want To Replay To That Point fight in Kotor before my laptops died. Also my deepest issue with it is my constant awareness or at least Constant Clouding Opinion that Star Wars does not know what to do with the *concept* of non-combatants and yeah ok it's thee origin Summer Scifi Action flick, but like. As involved and invested as I am in the idea of exploring, reading, expanding and improving star wars's content in the realm of weaponless heros and heroism, and I am unreasonably invested in that, especially for a franchise called Star WARS, that's what I look like while trying and half succeeding to turn off that side of my brain so I can enjoy the rest of the setting. I dare not rouse that sleeping dragon (quip unintended but haha) in my brain when it comes to internally screaming about dgc in the middle of the night.

So au headcanons, no (besides the realization that if I had one I would make dog a droid, wouldn't I. Self awareness (derogatory) ), but this up to now is kinda three out of five Star Wars Death Gate thoughts by my loose count, so two more, based on connections existing in my head:

-remember when I texted you angstily while rewatching revenge of the sith? Yeah. yeah. Thank god haplo managed to break out of the "Being Manipulated Into Evil Minion-hood By Horrible Old Men Who Go By The Name Lord Emperor Evilguy, A Manipulation Fueled And Amplified By The Fact The Evil Old Men Offer Answers For A Multitude Of Vexing Issues Such As, 'Toxic Section-ulinity Told Me I'm Not Allowed To Get Attached To Anyone But I Can't Stop Myself From Being A Living Person And The Turmoil Is Fucking Me Up', 'I Was Born Into Immense Trauma Like My Parents Before Me And Since I Watched Them Die I Am Fuming With A Need For Revenege', 'Oh No, Wife Have Baby?? I Am Having Many Emotion', and 'I Mean Elitist Lightguys Republic Sucks And Hurt Me So Surely Iron-Fist Of World Domination Dictatorship Is A Good Option. Let's Get That Bread :)' " pipeline while he had the chance. Ninties to early two. Is anybody teaching them to love or are they gonna go crazy with hate and repressed instinct of deep love, justice, and protection until some blue eyed orphan from a waterless world shows up to say 'wait a minute. I don't want to kill you. I'm not gonna kill you. so we better find another way of getting all this war and suffering over with? Please. thank you.' like I don't think haplo and Anakin are alike- they're v different and their arcs are very different- but I do hope that if Anakin ever decided to show up to the Emil Venn Diagram Angry Trauma Lad table uninvited after I read some intense au Haplo will notice him there, put a hand on his shoulder and go You poor poor kid <3 wtf <3 let's get you something. You should cut these specific people from your life and also get better about some things. Sorry about your mom and the hand stuff.

Text wise this is way too much but I want my fifth spot! Obi wan this threepio that the true character Alfred should sit with is Leia she is nineteen and her entire planet blew up and now they want her to lead shit?? She needs some support and a hug. Or bodhi! The same happened to him except he also defected out of the empire despite being an anxious everyman (referred to in the novelization as The Coward multiples times) because 'it spoke to his heart and he had to do the right thing' and then after doing that got tortured by a horrible monster. And is now third wheeling a pair of Survival First Little Lady Repression and The Cause Is What I'm Alive For Quiet Man Spy Repression.

Sorry for literally not having an answer for you and then dumping 1000 words on you anyways <3 that's how the cookie crumbles sorry

[soggyjulpod]

— flowers of flesh and blood

chapter two: teen romance

[anakin skywalker x reader]

summary: reader meets with a friend, at night [y/n] and anakin sneak off to a party

warning: language, underaged drinking, violence, mild sexual harassment

word count: 2.1k

—

the same afternoon [y/n] layed on the couch in the large parlor in her room, bored out of her mind staring at the ceiling. bee was laying on her chest minding his own business. unknown to her, none of her friends had snuck in through one of the large windows in the parlor.

“[y/n]!” her friend yelled out. [y/n] screamed out in surprise, she sprang from the couch causing her dog to fall down with a yelp.

“oh maker, you scared the shit out of me!” she laughs out. the two girls giggle to themselves, “so are you coming to-” her friend began to speak but was interrupted by anakin bursting into [y/n]’s room with his lightsaber in hand.

“get away from her!” the blond ordered to the threat he was yet to identify, his eyes darted around the large parlor. the two girls exchanged looks, “relax padawan, i’m fine” she says.

“but i heard a scream.” he says confused. [y/n] sighs, “i’m fine, this is my friend,” she gestures to her friend. “you can go away now.” she says, shooing him away. the jedi nods and exits.

her friend, rocinia, turns to her with an intrigued expression, “who was that?” the redhead inquires, wiggling her eyebrow. [y/n] rolls her eyes, “he’s assigned to be my bodyguard.”

“lucky! why do you always get the cute guys.” her redheaded friend complains as she kneels down to pet the dog.

“ro, shut up, he’ll hear you!” she hissed at her friend. “let him hear” rocinia jokes, sending her a playful wink.

“he’s really only here because someone might try to kill me to get to my dad.” [y/n] blurts. rocinia’s face drops, “seriously? those psychos after your father might try to get you?”

“yeah” she mutters. rocinia laughs awkwardly, “lets go to the gardens, i think we both need some vitamin d.”

the two girls exit her room, anakin and bee trailed behind them. they chattered about the latest gossip from their school mates as they stroll through to gardens.

“elijoh seriously said that?” that boy was always on her last nerve, he had been trying to ask her out for the last year but never seemed to take a hint.

“yes! what else do you expect from him” the two girl giggle.

“hey about tonight, are you still-” rocinia asks but was quickly shushed by [y/n] who motioned her head to the blond who was a few yards behind them.

“ro, my bodyguard is literally behind us, do you wanna be louder?” she sarcastically asks.

“sorry,” the redhead winces, “are you still coming out tonight?” she whispers lowly. [y/n] nods her head. “i just have to find a way to get away without being noticed.”

the watch on the redhead’s wrist started beeping, “shit, i gotta go or my mom’s going to kill me”

the two girls shared a hug, “i'll see you later, good luck.” rocinia whispers the last part.

—

[y/n] sat in front of her vanity putting the final touches on her hair. “perfect,” she smiles to herself in the mirror. she gets up and puts on the cheesy angel wings on her back. the girl quietly tiptoes to her bedroom door and places her ear on the door to see if the padawan was outside.

bee whined as he follows his owner, the girl shushes the dog in a panic. she could hear soft snoring from him, she smirked to herself, it was now or never.

“bee, you stay here.” she commands the dog as she place him on her bed.

[y/n] tiptoed to one of the large balconies, she mouths one final ‘stay’ to bee before she carefully climbed to the side where there were vines leading to the bottom. she grabs onto the vines and slowly begins to climb down.

she bites her lip, concentrating on safely making it to the bottom

“what do you think you’re doing?” the voice startles her, making her lose her grip on the vines, her eyes clamp shut in panic and she falls down two stories with a shriek.

[y/n] opened her eyes to anakin’s relieved face, he had caught her. the girl’s heart was racing as the two made eye contact. they stare at each other without a word being spoken for what seemed like forever.

the girl purses her lips, “you can let go of me, i’m fine,” she says patting his shoulder.  the blond mumbles a quick apology and puts her on her feet. [y/n] pats down her dress and fixes her wings, she looks the padawan up and down before turning on her heel and continuing her journey.

“what do you think you’re doing?” anakin repeats as he follows after her. “out,” she dismisses his concern. he reaches out and grabs her forearm.

“you’re not allowed out.” the blond states as he tries to pull her back towards the manor. “says who?” she retorted.  he turns to her, “me. i’m in charge of your safety, [y/n].” he says in a frustrated tone.

“actually, anakin, if you are in charge of my safety, you have to go wherever i go,” she says with a smug smile, the padawan’s eyes narrow. “face it anakin, you're my bitch now.” [y/n] says, tugging her arm out of his grasp.

“now where was i before i was rudely interrupted? ah, yes! party time!” she thinks out loud.

[y/n] motions for the padawan to follow her, “are you sure this is best thing to do? i mean there’s people that might be trying to kill you.” anakin asks as he begrudgingly follows her.

“good thing you’re with me then.” she smiles.  the two followed the dirt path that led away from the back of the manor and into the woods.

“where are we going?” the blond questions.  “a party, as i previously stated” she repeats, “have you ever been to a party, anakin?”

“i've accompanied my master to some galas and balls.”

the girl laughs, “no, i mean like a party with people of our age, drinking, smoking and making out.” she explains. he shakes his head.

“you're like, what, 17? and you haven't been to a party.”

“sixteen,” he corrects, “and no, stuff like that is against the jedi code.” the blond says in disbelief that she would ever think he would ever be involved in stuff like that.

“lucky for you, i’m here to help you be a real teenager.” she jabbed at him. he rolls eyes.

the two continued to walk side by side on the path.

“why are you dressed like that?” anakin inquired as he fully examined her clothes.

“i’m an angel, can’t you tell?” she says pointing to the wings, “it's a costume party.”

the pair stop at a crossroads, in the patch of grass between them there was a blue bike. [y/n] pulled the bike up and sat on the seat.

“hop on, padawan.” she tells him as she pats the back of the seat.

“seriously?” the blond sighs. “yes, if you want to get there faster get on.” the girl explains. with a groan he takes a seat behind her, putting his arms around her waist.

—

the pair arrived to a manor similar to [y/n]’s, from the outside you could hear the booming music and the colored lights.

the girl got off the bike and made her way to the entrance. anakin stood in awe at the sight in front of him.

“you haven't seen anything yet padawan,” she smirks, “follow me.” she beckons for him to come to her.

as the two entered a few people she went to school greeted her. anakin followed [y/n] into the kitchen where she grabbed two shot glasses and a bottle of liquor from the isle. she poured the alcohol into the glasses.

she reaches out one of the shots for him to take. he laughs nervously, “no thanks, one of us has to stay sober.”

“more for me then.” [y/n] smiles and downs the two shots back to back, her face scrunches up in disgust. “holy shit, that was strong.” the two laugh. the girl stops, “oh my maker i love this song!” she squeals.

“may i have this dance,” [y/n] requests in a posh accent, extending her hand so he could join her into the crowd of dancing teenagers.

“no thanks, i'll just stay over here.” anakin replied, giving her an awkward smile.

she frowns, “well i’m going to go do stupid stuff, you can stay here and be miserable for all i care.” she shouted over the music.

anakin leaned back onto the wall as he watched [y/n] swerve into the ball of grinding teens. he observed her quietly, from the moment he had met her he had felt a sort of pull to her.

he shakes his head, “don’t get invested.” he reminds himself.

on the dance floor [y/n] danced with rocinia who she had found. the redhead handed her a can of beer which she gladly took and takes a swig from it.

she was having fun until she felt someone grab her waist and started grinding on her. she attempted to wiggled out of the grasp of the person, “get off!” she growls.

“come on, don’t be bitch.”

that voice, it was fucking elijoh. [y/n]’s face contorted into anger, as best as she could in her intoxicated state she concentrated on stomping on his foot.

elijoh yelped and pulled his hands away from her. “what the fuck, chill bro.”

“chill? why don’t you stop harassing me!” the drunk girl shouts, getting up to his face. at this point a crowd had circled around them.

anakin had been dozing off but was brought back by her yelling.

“harassing you?” he scoffs and pushed her, causing her to lose her balance and fall down.

“hey get away from her!” anakin yelled as he ran into the small circle. all the attention shifted to the blond.

“and what are you going to do?” elijoh hisses back. anakin lit his lightsaber, the crowd that had gathered around them gasped. elijoh backed away at the sudden threat.

“anakin put that away now,” she commands, “i’ve got this.”

anakin helps her up and without a second thought, the drunk girl slaunders to the him, raising her fist and punches him square in the nose as hard as she could. a crack resonated through the room. elijoh groaned in pain as he held his nose in his hands, blood gushing out.

[y/n] quietly mutters in pain as she cradles her hand. she peers up at anakin who stood beside her with his mouth agape.

“i was not expecting that.” he says in disbelief. “come on we have to go now!” she pleads, bringing him out of his state of shock. [y/n] grabs his arm and attempting to leave but she stumbles. anakin swiftly catches her, “i’ve got you,” he wraps an arm around her waist and the other around his neck.

“you fucking bitch!” elijoh fumes in the distance with blood dripping from his face. he started to chase after them.

“quickly!!” she yells as anakin gets on the bike, he helps her get on and he peddles like his life depended on it.

[y/n] wraps her arms around him and leans her body into his back, putting her head on the back of his shoulder. she stares up at the night sky with half of her face being squished on the blond’s back.

“everything’s so pretty.” she drunkenly mumbles into his back. “what was that?” he asks.

“the sky’s so pretty tonight.” anakin slows his peddling and peers up to the sky.

“i guess so” he utters, “hey i never got the chance to ask you, but are you hurt?” he doesnt get an answer. he takes a hand of the steering and reaches back to tap her shoulder but instead touches her head.

the blond turns his head to see that she had fallen asleep on him. “she's certainly something.” he whispers lowly to himself.

anakin peddled all the way back to the manor, he delicately carried her to her room so as to not wake her. he carefully took off the wings from her back and her shoes so as to not wake her.

the blond then tucked her into her bed, he turned to leave but was stopped when a hand grabbed his wrist.

“thank you, i had fun tonight.” she gives him a soft grin. “me too.” he says, sharing the same expression.

“good night, anakin”

“good night [y/n]”

—

a/n: not me listening to lil peep will writing this to match the teenage buffoonery. anyways i kept on changing the end but i like what i settled with. enjoy the cute interactions at the end. also pretend like bikes are a thing in the star wars universe.

[silver-and-stars]

The Rise of Skywalker

Okay so TROS is out in France and I’ve just seen it. And I need to get all those feelings out of my chest.

SO SPOILERS !

Bottom line for those who don’t want to read the whole summary about Kylo/Ben :

- Rey is a Palpatine

- Rey force healing Ben by giving him her life energy

- Leia dies and it makes Ben gives up the dark side.

- Rey VS Palpatine

- Ben Solo comes to help.

- Rey defeats Palpatine but dies.

- Ben Solo gives her his life energy to bring her back to life. That’s the romantic grand gesture they were talking about.

- THEY KISS and immediately after HE DIES and his body DISAPPEARS

- Nothing more is shown and said about Ben, him turning good again or his sacrifice. It’s like only Rey know that and no one will ever learn the truth. Not even Chewie.

Now, onwards for the very long talk : 

I hadn’t read the leaks, only the posts on tumblr following them : Rey blowing up the transport ship in which Chewie was in, Kylo Ren / Ben Solo dying and not being talk about again, it’s all true ! Expect that Chewie wasn’t really in the transport ship. He is fine.

More on the rest later but first Ben Solo’s redemption and death + Reylo.

So first off all, Rey goes on the wreck of the Death Star to find an item - a sith wayfinder, only two exist and Kylo has one - that could direct her to Palpatine’s lair, cause yeah, Palpatine is alive and he just lend the First Order a HUGE fleet of Star Destroyers, each equip with a Star Killer canon.

Palpatine is not doing well btw : he is vertically plugged to a machine, his eyes are white, their is missing flesh on his fingers... He hids on a sort of closed temple and has hundreds of Sith cultists (non-fighters) with him.

Kylo finds him and Plapatine tells him he made Snoke and the truth about Rey’s identity (which we don’t hear). He wants Kylo to find Rey and kill her and he will give him the Empire in exchange. 

Instead Kylo warns Rey that Palpatine wants her dead and says he doesn’t care about Palpatine’s plans, he just want her to join him on the darkside. He tells her who she is : Palpatine’s grand-daughter. Palpatine had a son who ran away and hid in Jakku with Rey’s mom but the Emperor wanted to get his hand on Rey, presumably to kill her, so they sold Rey and lied about her not being on Jakku anymore before getting killed.

So anyway Rey isn’t taking all that information so well, even less since she had a vision (that we saddly don’t see) of her sitting beside Kylo on the throne of the Siths.

On the deathstar she has a vision of Darth Rey after touching the wayfinder, quite like Luke had of himself on Dagobah. She fights with herself and drops the wayfinder. Kylo picks it up and tells her the only way she will find Palpatine is if she comes with it and he crushed the wayfinder. Rey is seething with anger and fights Kylo very agressively, most of what he does is retreating. They end up outside, on the wreck, above a very agitated sea.

Rey is really close to giving in to her anger and go dark and Kylo finally starts to get the upper hand. And then Leia happens.

Leia who felt their battle, used the last of her strength to connect with his son. She says his name and Kylo feels she is dying. He spaces out and drops his saber. Rey stabs him in the stomach the same moment Leia dies. They both feels it. Rey shuts down her saber, Ben slides down on the floor. Rey cries and looks at Ben, he is staring blankly into space, looking like a lost boy. She kneels beside him and heals him, transferring life energy into him. She tells him he was right, she did wanted to take his hand, Ben’s hand. And she leaves in his ship.

Later we find Ben still on the wreck, standing and looking at the horizon. A voice says “Hey kid” and for a sec I thought it was Ghost Luke. But no ! Ben turns around and it’s Han !

Ben says he is just a memory, “your memory” answers Han. Ben says Ben Solo is dead and Han says that it’s Kylo Ren who is dead, and asks him to come home. And Ben says it’s too late, “she’s dead”. Earlier on we had a hint that Ben wanted to go back to her but he believed he had went to far on the wrong track to be able and allowed to go back. Now Han tells him that what Leia believed in and fought for is still alive. The following scene mirror the one on the Starkiller bridge in SW7, when he killed Han, an act that still haunts him in this movie. Ben says the same lines “I know what I have to do but I don’t know if I have the strength to do it.”. Han’s touches his face and tells him he does. Ben calls him “dad” in a heartwrecking tone and turn around to throw his lightsaber into the sea. When he turns back Han isn’t there anymore.

The next time we see him it’s on Palpatine’s lair. Rey got there and confronted Palpatine who told her he didn’t want her dead, he wanted her to kill him so his spirit would be transferred in her body. Of course she doesn’t want to do so and doesn’t plan on hating him either. But he opens up the roof of the temple and she can see the Resistance’s ships getting their asses kick by his fleet. He tells her that if she completes the rituel she will have control over his fleet and she could then save her new family (the Resistance).

And then she feels Ben. He is here in the temple, with only a loose shirt, pants and a blaster, reminding me of young Luke or young Han, he is fighting his way toward her but the knights of Ren have him cornered and he is now unarmed. Rey and him look into each other eyes using their force bound (that is now strong enough for them to transfer objects between them) and they nods in agreement. Rey pretends she will strike Palpatine down, just like Ben pretented he was going to kill Rey before Snoke. She rises her saber while Palpatine narrates, puts it behind her back and... it’s in Ben’s hands. He was a very endearing gesture there, like he is saying “now we’re talking” and he fights the knights of Ren, one against six, with a blue light saber. Meanwhile Rey has another lightsaber : Leia’s, that force ghost Luke gave her and she fights Palpatine’s guards. 

Ben reaches her and they stand togeteher, in sync, before Palpatine. “you stand together. you die together” says Palapatine and he attacks them. But when he does the flesh on his finger is restored. He realized Rey and Ben have something very rare in the force, a bound, a dyad. And he absorbs their power to rejuvenate/heal himself. Rey and Ben fall unconscious on the ground. Palpatine now with his full power, unleashed massive a electric beam toward the ships and starts frying the Resistance (who in the meanwhile got backup from the whole galaxy).

Ben is the first to wake up but Palpatine throws him down a pit kinda like he was thrown in one by Vader. Then Rey wakes up, lies on her back and see the fleet, but beyond them she sees the stars and says “be with me”. Many jedi voices (Luke, Yoda, Qui-Gon, Anakin, Ashoka etc) answer tell her to get back up, that they are with her.

She takes her saber and rise on her feet. Palpatine directs his electicity toward her and she blocks it with her saber. He tells her it’s useless, she can’t defeat him as he is all of the Siths, she cannot win. But she grabs the second light saber and push back, says she is all the jedis, and Palpatine is vaporized by his own force lightining.

The victory is here. However Rey drops the saber and fall on the floor, unmoving, eyes open. Finn (who is force sensitive) fells that she is dead. But from the pit arise Ben. He is injured, limping, he falls several times in his way to reach her but when he finally falls near her, he grabs her and cradles her, looking desperate. Her body is limp, her eyes still open and unmoving. So he lies her down in his laps, closes his eyes and gives her his life energy. Of course it works ! And, knowing about the leaks I think “oh no. oh no. maybe they were wrong about this part at least” and “you mom and uncle would be so pround of you right now”. Rey wakes up, sits up, looks at him, puts his hand on his face. He is so relieved, she smiles and calls his name, “Ben”. And they KISS. BOUM CANON REYLO. And when they break the kiss he gives her a smile so relieved, happy and innocent, it breaks my harts. It breaks my heart because they hug (I think) and then he falls backward. Eyes closed, unmoving and his body disappears and as it does so does Leia’s ! No more Ben. All there is left are his clothes on the ground. And that’s it.

Rey says nothing, the scene just cut to the fleet coming home and celebrating. We see her rejogning the fleet in Luke’s X-Wing, then on their base where she happily reunites with BB-8, Poe and Finn. Then she goes on Tatooine, finds the Skywalker farm, buries Leai and Luke’s lightsaber together. She has made her own lightsaber. It’s yellow.

An old lady passes by and asks her who she is. She says “Rey” and looks on her right. There are Luke and Leia’s force ghosts standing side by side and I’m already dead inside. On Leia’s left there is a blank space. I expected Ben’s ghost to materialize there, like Anakin’s did beside Yoda and Obi-wan in SW4, to shows us Ben is still with her in some way and that he was at least reunited with his mother, thzt he is at peace with Luke and himself. But no, nothing. She says “Rey Skywalker”, watched Tatooine’s suns set and that’s it. Nothing more about Ben turning back good, nothing showing some people -at least Poe, Finn AND FUCKING CHEWIE - YOU KNOW, HIS KINDA-UNCLE CHEWIE, CHEWIE, BEN’S FATHER’S BEST-FRIEND, CHEWIE WHO LET OUT AND HEARTBREAKING CRY AND FELT ON HIS KNEES WHEN HE LEARNT LEIA) DIED, CHEWIE WHOSE THREE BEST FRIENDS (HAN, LUKE, LEIA]) DIED TRYIND TO REACH OUT TO BEN - learned that Ben saved Rey’s life, helped defeat Palpatine and in the end did the right thing. For all we know the galaxy still believes he is evil and died evil. 

And really, if Rey went through all the trouble of separating from her friend and go on the Skywalker homeland - like she intended to live there- , couldn’t she just build up a life there with Ben. I can’t see how people would accept Ben and his redemption after he killed so many, including Han, and as he was such an important and feared figure of the First Order. But they could have lay low and live happily together on Tatooine and build a home and a family together there. A Palpatine and a Skywalker, united in peace and love. Two lost children, orphan now, creating their own home. A new start, a new life. But no. We don’t get that. Ben was too young to die in a Star Wars movie. This is not Rogue One wtf. 

_____________

So yeah no, I’m not quite okay. The end was too quick. The movie was nice, it didin’t felt slow or dragging, there wasn’t any horses race scene. But the conclusion was too short, to abrupt imo. You needs to spend a little more time on it after three movies ! Or you know, since it’s the end of the Skywalker saga FUCKING NINE MOVIES. Gimme a 30 minutes long ending like in Return of the King. I’m okay with this ! I do want to know what became of the Resistance, of Finn, Poe, Chewie. I do want to see force ghost Ben (since you weren’t kind and hopeful enough to keep him alive). 

Btw : R2D2 is barely in this movie and does almost nothing. It’s R2D2. Sure BB8 is cute but R2 as been around since Padmé ! He knows stuffs !! He is good at his job, let him save lives ! 

No canon Stormpilot. The queer character is has expect of an american Blockbuster own by Disney, a minor character (the lady who said in SW8 that Admiral Ackbar is dead and Leia in a coma) and she just kisses another lady for like 0.02 sec in a crowded scene.

No Rose x Finn either for that matter, not a word about the kiss, or their relation. Two new girls who have a romantic vibe with Poe or Finn, but it doesn’t lead anywhere fortunately.

Force ghost-Luke ! Memory-Han ! Leia (RIP) ! Lando (a bit) ! Chewie (still alive)! C3PO and R2 still alive ! Fucking PALPATINE wtf why were you not hinted at earlier ! CGI young-Luke and young-Leia traning in a forest ! Luke X-wing taking flight again ! The Millenium Falcon still up and running ! So many people from the old movies. 

Also Qui-Gon Jinn’s voice. Strangely it conforted me to hear his voice but dammit gimme force ghost-Ben !

What else? Oh yeah Hux betrayed the First Order to get in Kylo’s way and got unmasked and killed. No one ever talked about him again.

Also BEN SOLO IS FREAKING DEAD ! So Ben, you were a betrayed and manipulated kid ? Manipulated by freaking Palpatine and betrayed by your uncle Luke ? You want to do the right now ? Well you will have to die for it! 

No ! Keep him alive, have him earn is redemption by doing more for the good guys, to compensate the harm he has done. Or at least leave him in peace with his lover. 

I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY KILLED OFF -ALL- THE SKYWALKERS ! We like them ! Keep the young and last one alive at least !

Also the whole Palpatine business is so abrupt. That’s a thing for three movies, or two at last, not just the last one.

But I enjoyed it anyway. But my heart is quite broken. And it’s the end of the trilogy and Skywalker bloodline and story and i don’t know what to do with this.

I wished they hadn’t reused the “reformed bad-guy saves someone he loves from the Emperor but dies by doing so” plot point from the Return of the Jedi. We had seen this already, you could have done something knew and less heartbreaking. Vader at done a lot more evil, willingly, not because he was confused and manipulated, he was old, barely living. But Ben ? Ben was ready to start anew on the right path, he was young and seemed hopeful after Rey came back to life. His parents and his uncle tried to save him from the dark side. But when he finally got away from it he dies ? Just dies like that ? I thought I was okay with the idea that his redemption meant his death, but it turns out I’m not, it doesn’t feels right. 

Ben was a main charcater, one in whose redemption I was too much emotionnaly invested about to be okay with him dying like that, Vader style.

[ainedubh]

How dare they just push Rose to the sidelines like that. We were robbed of her interacting with Poe, her sister’s commander. We were robbed of her interacting with Rey, a fellow mechanic with no family. We were robbed of her interacting with Leia even though they both spent the entire movie at the resistance base together. And we were robbed of any resolution of her relationship with Finn, even if they had just went with “look, we almost died, we kissed, now it’s weird and we don’t know what we are or how we feel or where to go from here.” And Rose, the character in Star Wars most established as having an affinity for animals, doesn’t even get to have a moment during the cavalry charge which the movie calls out as unusual in using animals!

Finn and Poe got lots of screen time, but no development or resolution. Poe ended the Last Jedi realizing he made leadership mistakes that endangered people. When he becomes acting general in Rise of Skywalker, however, there’s no tension. Hell, if they’d even framed him asking Finn to help him lead a bit more seriously, but it became a throwaway joke where Finn’s like “aw thanks bro, but let’s talk about Rey again!” They could have built on the moment Poe thinks the plan will fail because no one has shown up, just like his last plan failed, but nope. And let’s not even talk about the shoehorned in “spice runner” nonsense. Finn and Jannah spent time talking and did the final mission together, but didn’t get a hug scene at the end. Jannah’s just chatting with Lando who she’s never met about finding out where she came from - why wasn’t that convo with Finn, the former stormtrooper who has the same exact problem? Finn doesn’t even get to resolve character points brought up in THIS movie. He’s just never gonna tell Rey or Poe or the audience his big secret.

Rey Palpatine is... weird. I can sort of, almost get behind it - Secret Lost Dark Wizard Princess is the kind of campy ridiculous over the top shit I would normally adore. And the scene of Rey exploring the Death Star was *finger kisses* BUT. WHO WAS THE EMPEROR FUCKING. WHEN DID THIS OCCUR. What was his son’s life like - was he secret, or did everyone know there was a Crown Prince of the Galactic Empire? Did he live in luxury as a child, or poverty because he was secret? Naboo, Coruscant, elsewhere? Who married him? Did she know who he was?

The timeline is really weird, too. Rey is 19 in Force Awakens, which is 34 ABY. The Return of the Jedi happens in 4 ABY, so Rey was conceived about 10 years AFTER the Emperor “died.” And she’s not an infant when they abandon her, so the Emperor’s son is running and hiding from his father approximately 15 years after his father (supposedly) died? He didn’t think to tell anyone his dad was still alive??? Who did the Emperor have working for him at that point to conduct this manhunt - Imperial remnants? Proto-First Order? Why was it so difficult to escape from this manhunt that they sold their daughter into slavery to hide her? Obi-Wan was able to hide two children in fairly obvious locales while the Empire was active - they just got that much better at finding missing kids, apparently.

Hux being the spy was fucking hilarious, but none of that storyline made sense. Rescuing Finn, Poe, and Chewie isn’t going to help defeat Kylo Ren. And no way he thought that cover story was good enough - his selfish, survivor ass would have gotten on the Falcon before anyone thought to stop him. Also he apparently did nothing to damage Kylo Ren’s reputation in the First Order with the extremely suspect circumstances of Snoke’s death.

Leia DIED after one short Force projection, but Luke managed a whole fight sequence. But Leia was a fully trained Jedi the whole time! Wut. I’m sorry, while I am here for Leia is powerful in the Force and could be a Jedi if she wanted, I also like Leia decided not to be a Jedi to focus on her political career and was a little afraid of her temper leading her to the dark side if she trained as a Jedi. And if she was a fully trained Jedi how come she couldn’t keep Ben with her and train him herself and maybe keep him from feeling so abandoned and rejected by his family that he fell to the dark side? Plus, she quit being a Jedi because she had a vision it would end in her son’s death and STILL...

Kylo/Ben dying was too sad and I hate it. But since it happened, how dare they not at least show him as a Force ghost with his mom and uncle at the end? They wanted him to come back home / to the light so badly and the Death Star scenes made it clear he missed Leia terribly. And he doesn’t even appear with them in the afterlife when they visit Rey, who he was Force bonded with and died to save? He doesn’t even get that tiny sliver of happy ending in canon and it’s so unfair.

And after all that Rey goes to Tattooine instead of Naboo. The disrespect. No one liked being on Tattooine - not Anakin, not Luke. Leia never even went there. Anakin liked Naboo. He got married there. Luke and Leia’s mom was from Naboo. In one of the new novels, Leia visits the Naboo system. Rey’s grandpa was from Naboo, even if he was the most terrible person in the galaxy. Naboo is a nice place and it’s green which Rey was really into two movies ago and instead she goes to Another Fucking Desert Planet to close the whole series.