#Fahrenheit just doesn’t compute with my brain

[thebibliosphere]

The weather shifted from 20°c to -7°c in the span of two days, so of course I’m in a full body flare up 🫠

[timelxrd-victorious]

I posted 880 times in 2022

That's 669 more posts than 2021!

293 posts created (33%)

587 posts reblogged (67%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@timelxrd-victorious-a

@timelxrd-victorious

@winloseorcharmed

@heroparadigm

@etcor-archive

I tagged 849 of my posts in 2022

Only 4% of my posts had no tags

#takes all those he's crossed ( teine | greyfaces. ) - 186 posts

#out of gallifrey ( ooc ) - 129 posts

#fire and ice and rage ( teine ) - 62 posts

#( bramble watches doctor who. ) - 48 posts

#v: the time lord victorious ( main ) - 47 posts

#an awful lot of running ( meme. ) - 40 posts

#that's how i see the universe ( headcanon ) - 30 posts

#you're just a punk. that's what you are ( crack ) - 28 posts

#v. time is calling - 22 posts

#bramble makes things ( edits. ) - 22 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#[ whereas with joan he could turn back to human but he doesn't want to do so because he very much is not human and doesn't want that life ]

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Some of my favorite things about Gallifreyan physiology

because there’s far more to Gallifreyan Time Lord internal anatomy than two hearts and the ability to regenerate

their skin smells like honey

core body temperature of 15 degrees Celsius (~60 degrees Fahrenheit) and capable of dropping to below-freezing temperatures 

they have two more ribs than humans (26 compared to a human’s 24)

they’re touch-telepaths and Time Lords have a reflex link which allows them to join the entire Time Lord hivemind intelligentsia as one

Gallifreyan brains are much larger than human brains with an extra brain lobe specifically used for mechanical and other bodily functions; their larger brain sizes make it impossible for brain transplants between humans and Gallifreyans

Gallifreyans have complete control over their eyes, to the point that their retinas are basically sentient (no, really)

On Gallifrey, the retina had almost replaced the fingers as the main method of communicating with machines. The human eye was not so sophisticated, just an aerial, a dish of light‐ sensitive cells shunting their observations through the blind spot. The brain had to do all of the processing, flipping the image the right way up, making sense of the movement, the shapes, the narrow range of colours. But the Time Lord retina could do a reasonable amount of thinking on its own. This could be annoying when one was trying to sleep, but it was the ideal means of talking to a computer – as well as a built‐ in identity check. —Seeing I, Jonathan Blum & Kate Orman

their eyes also do the eyeshine-in-the-dark thing that feline, canine, and equine eyes do

their blood is red-orange, has healing properties, and doesn’t even look like blood under a microscope

Gallifreyans don’t have lungs; instead they have a series of pulmonary tubes and have a respiratory bypass that when activated allows them to breathe through their skin (the pulmonary tubes also make them incredibly buoyant so good luck trying to drown one)

they’re immune to the effects of helium gas, but are susceptible to the effects of mustard gas and can be killed if they’re given anesthetic and aspirin 

they’re not intoxicated by alcohol, but can get drunk on ginger

for internal organs: they have two of everything humans have one of, four of everything humans have two of, and internal organs with no analogue in humans

15 notes - Posted February 3, 2022

#4

me, catching up on Thirteen’s era

23 notes - Posted February 1, 2022

#3

Link to pdf files of The Book of the War. Downloaded years ago from VK.

30 notes - Posted February 20, 2022

#2

Some thoughts on RTD vs Moffat vs Chibnall’s eras as I’m making my way through series 4 in my NuWho rewatch (probably gonna skip Moffat’s whole era, though).

From what I do remember of watching Moffat's era + what little I have learned about Chibnall's era so far... wow I have never seen a showrunner have as much contempt and disrespect for the showrunner that came before them that Moffat has for RTD (except for maybe the three showrunners of the Charmed reboot)

Even during the episodes Moffat wrote during Nine and Ten's eras, they feel so disjointed from the rest of the series they're in:

“The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances” introduces Jack Harkness, true, but he was a RTD character to begin with; there’s not much going on in this episode that connects to the larger arc of the season, other than Jack meeting and joining Team TARDIS

“The Girl in the Fireplace” completely disregards Rose being uncomfortable with the idea of Mickey traveling in the TARDIS with her and the Doctor, and it completely ditches the whole undercurrent of Ten and Rose’s growing relationship into a romance, recasting Rose as the nagging wife to Reinette’s shiny new mistress (thanks, I hate it)

“Blink” literally cuts the Doctor and Martha out for most of the story, and when they do finally show up, the Doctor gets most of the screentime whereas Martha gets only a handful of speaking lines (if that; Martha is usually either out-of-focus when the Doctor is onscreen, or she’s off-screen entirely)

"Silence in the Library/Forest of the Dead" focuses far more on Moffat’s OC River and her future adventures with Moffat's Doctor than it does Ten and Donna.

Moffat erased everything RTD put into the show's mythos from his version of canon, via the Cracks in Time (series 5), rebooting the universe (series 5) and completely retconning Gallifrey’s destruction during the LGTW (”The Day of the Doctor”) all while focusing on an entirely new incarnation of the Doctor who fought in the war--ignoring that Eight was perfectly capable of fighting in a time war and doing what was necessary to save the universe through developments in the comics, Big Finish audio plays, and novels (the Tenth Doctor in that episode was also incredibly OOC even for Ten in his phase between Waters of Mars and The End of Time).

Even when Moffat did make references back to RTD’s era, it was only to episodes he’d written and characters he himself had introduced to canon (the sister ship to the SS Madame de Pompadour, the Weeping Angels, River Song, etc.) The few times Moffat has brought back or referenced RTD characters, it’s to have his own characters put them down and make his creations look better by comparison 

Clara: “What chapter are you on?” her charge: “Ten.” Clara: “Eleven’s the best. You’ll cry your eyes out.”

everything regarding Simm!Master and Gomez!Master interacting

literally having Clara one-up Rose, Martha, and Donna combined by splintering echoes of herself along the Doctor’s timestream and having a Gallifreyan echo of herself encourage One to steal the TARDIS, not to mention Clara becoming one-half of the Hybrid with the other half being the Doctor

Eleven on Ten’s refusal to regenerate in Journey’s End: “I had vanity issues.”

Ten in the 50th: “I don’t want to go.” Eleven: “He always says that.” 

In contrast, Chibnall has brought back Jack Harkness, the Judoon, a new male incarnation of the Master (that isn’t white, to boot), and actually made Moffat’s retcon of bringing back Gallifrey work within the narrative. He’s also drawn upon ideas that were seeded back in the Second and Seventh Doctor’s runs of the Doctor being far more than an ordinary Gallifreyan Time Lord and pretty much canonized both the Cartmel Masterplan and the Dr Nyarlathotep subtheory/expanded universe canon that the Doctor is a being from before the universe reborn into a Gallifreyan body.

40 notes - Posted January 21, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Funny how the DW fandom is “collectively” crying that Chibnall’s era is bad and wants Moffat back, because that was “when Doctor Who was good”, apparently, when, uh. Hmmm.

So we're just going to completely ignore the whole entire very vocal section of the fandom that hated Moffat's era and his writing in general from the word "go", eh? All the way back to when Moffat was writing episodes in the RTD era (“The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances”, “The Girl in the Fireplace”, “Blink”, “Silence in the Library/Forest of the Dead”) and the problems seen in his own era were evident even back then?

We’re just going to ignore Moffat

having all his companions “wait for” the Doctor (Reinette, Amy, Clara, River)

having the white female companions or one-off characters meet the Doctor as a young girl, become obsessed with him, and have that obsession become sexual and have the female companion sexually assault him the moment she meets the Doctor as an adult again, when for the Doctor it’s only been something like ten minutes (Reinette, Amy, Clara, River)

romanticizing stalking (The Girl in the Fireplace; Blink; The Doctor, the Widow, and the Wardrobe; Series 7B’s arc with Clara, The Pilot)

retconning the massive piece of worldbuilding and one condition for the revived series to be brought back in the first place by the BBC, which was Gallifrey’s destruction in the Last Great Time War (The Day of the Doctor)

having his two Black companions die and come back as Cybermen (Danny Pink, Bill) whereas Clara 1) splinters echoes of herself throughout history, 2) ends up dying for real but then comes back, and 3) becomes immortal and gets her own TARDIS.

making the Twelfth Doctor blind for two episodes as a means of cheap drama, when 1) Gallifreyans are primarily telepathic, 2) Gallifreyans as a whole are faceblind anyway; and 3) it wasn’t even handled that well

playing off Vastra and Jenny’s relationship (they’re married lesbians, with one of them being a Silurian) in Victorian London solely for laughs, along with any other hints of queer characters and relationships being played for humor

constantly setting up convoluted story arcs and plotlines that are spread out for multiple seasons and then never get any pay-off, or are tied up in the most nonsensical shoddy way possible (series 5, series 6, series 7, everything involving the Silence and the “mystery” surrounding the Doctor’s name)

had the Twelfth Doctor constantly interrupt and talk over a Deaf character played by a Deaf actor, which again, was played for laughs

taking shots at RTD’s era and characters whenever possible to make his own characters and plotlines look better and cleverer, including erasing the majority of RTD’s era from continuity via the cracks in time and then rebooting the universe (not to mention the blatant classism directed at Rose and the palpable disdain for the Doctor/Rose Tyler as a ship) (The Day of the Doctor, The Bells of Saint John, The Girl in the Fireplace, etc.)

playing off the mere idea of the Doctor regenerating into a female body as a joke (The Curse of Fatal Death, 1999) when the Doctor had already been established in the expanded universe and Classic series as nonbinary by Gallifreyan and human standards

used a whole episode to argue that all refugees are actually evil, an invasion force, and “don’t trust refugees or immigrants who don’t want to assimilate into the culture of the country they’ve sought refuge in”

had River Song’s character revolve entirely around the Doctor

Moffat was an absolute shite showrunner, and plenty of people stopped watching at various points during his era (I personally know quite a few who stopped watching during series 6).

Whereas Chibnall... *checks notes*

had an episode set during Jim Crow-era, segregated 1950s Alabama, pointed out how the racism of the setting affected three of the Doctor’s companions more than xemself, and flat out said that while dealing with the racist time-traveller, the best they could do was get history back on track without helping Rosa Parks

had another episode focusing on religious tension, discrimination, and the dividing up families and neighbors across borders that didn’t exist previously

drew on Classic series and expanded universe canon to add on to the Doctor’s backstory: specifically, canonizing the Cartmel Masterplan 

has the Doctor dealing with others around xem perceiving xem as a cis woman, even though xe was always nonbinary and never had really identified as a man 

Thasmin

has the Doctor and the Master destroy Gallifrey again, because bringing it back in the first place was dumb and the Doctor doesn’t really want anything to do with Gallifrey in the first place

I don’t know about you, but one of these showrunners and the way he writes episodes is a lot worse in how he handles material. And it’s not Chibnall.

I said what I said.

And no, I do not accept criticism.

75 notes - Posted February 21, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[buraidragon]

Hey. Hey come get some more Cephalon Cy food. Fresh batch of assorted thoughts below.

-Cy is very tactile. He works faster if he can literally get his hands on things. This is why even before getting his void specter skill thing, in his chunk of the weave if there were files to process, they were manifested as fake paper. Despite being a brain-computer, feeling things still lets him work just a bit faster due to how hardwired touching things are in his uploaded neurons.

-Cy enjoys alcohol, beer and mead specifically. The Yvo clan had a particular beer brew they made that helped with scurvy due to adding in citrus juices. The mead? Well, that’s something Ordis’ clan used to drink. Seeing as he’s now dating that man, he’s grown to enjoy it as well. (Added bonus of it being far easier to simulate in a datascape than beer, for some reason.)

-When it comes to food, Cy doesn’t really have any preferences. At least he says he doesn’t. Really, this man treats any meat from ‘land animals’ as a fancy feast. Give him a hamburger and he’ll savor it. Give him some grilled salmon and that’s disappearing very quickly. And despite being fond of them, Cy will eat reptiles. He just offers them a silent thanks first, for providing sustenance. Well, he doesn’t eat reptiles nowadays as he technically doesn’t need to eat, but when he had to, he would.

-Gives gruff affection if he likes you. You want wild pats on the head for doing a good job and no words of encouragement? Too bad, that’s what you’re getting from him. If you’re too tall for easy head pats, you’re getting a hand on the shoulder and a nod of acknowledgement.  -When looking human, Cy is almost always in an unofficial uniform reflecting the fact he technically leads the Tenno Navy. Boots practical for standing hours on end, long, durable pants, and a black turtleneck shirt that’s missing an arm as it’s tricky to get tight fabric to sit right over an Atlas Prime arm. He does wear a coat, best described as some Admiral’s Coat/Duster Jacket hybrid that sometimes has a left sleeve, other times doesn’t. Whatever Cy feels more like at the time of it’s creation. It’s a light grey, with accents of gleaming Tenno steel-grey and an old pattern that vaguely looks like crashing waves. On his back between his shoulders is the Tenno Shield-looking sigil, in metallic dark grey.

-He has a resting “Tired of the world’s shit” face. And he shows almost all of his emotions in his eyes. He is prone to half-smiles and smirks, though. And again, if there is a snake nearby, his entire face lights up like a small collection of floodlights. (Ditto his kids/Ordis/rest of his family/staff he obviously likes and has mutual respect with.)

-Cy is also surprisingly pale for someone who spent his live on the seas. This is due to Uranus’ distance from the sun. When alive, after he arrived to Lua, this man was constantly sunburnt until he managed to get his hands on the good sunscreen. As a Cephalon he doesn’t burn anymore, but his void specter is subjected to lobster-red burns if he stays in extreme heat for too long. On the plus side, after he cools himself off from such a burn, he does get a nice tan that lasts only until his temperature averages out around 75 degrees Fahrenheit.

-Remember how I said this idiot will overwork himself? Glace once found him force-passed out for a maintenance cycle in their Railjack once. Being the gremlin they are, Glace promptly doodled on his face as he was currently manifested, dragged him to their quarters, and buried him in their small army of floofs and other soft things.  They promptly dug their way to his side afterwards and conked out next to him.

-Before Glace had realized “Oh good Cube Dad and Pyramid Uncle are finally dating.” They were sorely tempted to find away to code in handcuffs that could make the two stuck to each other in datascapes. My Tenno is a gremlin and I will not be ashamed of that.

[littlelovelyspiderling]

Unmasked

Spider-Man is forced to fight the Sinister Six while he’s sick, which leads to his enemies making unexpected discoveries about their arch nemesis.

Chapter 2

Doc Oc’s notoriously dull and empty lab was filled with bodies and excitement that evening. The Sinister Six piled eagerly into the large room as Octavius dumped a bloody, unconscious Spider-Man onto one of the examination tables. An uproar of cheers and laughter followed.

“The spider is finally squashed!”

“Is he still alive? No way he’s still alive.”

“Heart’s still beating, according to the computer.”

“Who cares? The little bitch finally got what was coming to him.”

“I wanna break his other leg. Can I break his other leg?”

“Now, now, listen, my comrades.” Octavius rose above the group on his metal limbs, tapping a glass against a bottle of champagne until the room fell quiet. “Before we continue, I think a win this spectacular deserves to be celebrated accordingly.”

Using the prehensile pincers at the ends of each tentacle, Otto poured and distributed the alcohol with ease, and everyone raised their glasses.

 “A toast to us, the greatest super villains to ever grace history!”

“Here, here!”

“And a toast to Spider-Man! The biggest, most obnoxious pain in all our asses—vanquished at last!”

Laughs and shouts preceded the communion. After downing his drink, Otto wiped his lips with a grin. 

“And as the leader of this great and glorious team, I am nothing if not giving to my loyal followers. Since you all deserve personal retribution for the many, many grievances this wretch has inflicted upon us, I promise each of you at least two minutes of reparation time to do to Spider-Man whatever you feel he deserves. Once we wring his throat dry of whatever information he possesses, he’s all yours. So long as I get to deal the final blow.” He chuckled. “Well, if he survives that long, anyway.”

“I’ll snap off all his fingers!”

“I’ll gag him with his own webbing!”

“I’ll pop his head like a grape!”

“I’ll zap him ’til his heart stops, then zap it back to life, then zap him dead again!”

“Revenge is sweet,” Octavius concurred, walking around the table to stand behind Spider-Man’s head. The rest of the Sinister Six went silent and gathered on either side of the fallen hero, with Rhino at his feet. “But first,” Doc continued, reaching forward with one of his mechanical tentacles. The tips of the metal prongs pinched the fabric at the top of Spider-Man’s mask.

“Let’s have a look at our arch enemy’s face.”

In one quick yank, the mask peeled off the hero’s head. Six pairs of eyes absorbed the bruised, pale face lying lifelessly before them—the face of their sworn nemesis. A face none of them were anticipating. Gradually, the grins and snickers faded away, replaced by furrowed brows and puzzled glances.

“Wait…” Electro said, breaking the long stretch of silence.

“I’m…confused,” Scorpion added.

“Is he—does he look—?”

“Like…a kid?”

Everyone’s gazes rose to Octavius. The brilliant scientist looked between them and Spider-Man bewilderedly, his mouth hanging agape.

“I…” he began, rolling the hero’s head to the side. An ugly gash marred his left cheek; dried blood was smeared all the way to his hairline. “I don’t…understand.”

Spider-Man had the soft, innocent face of a child. It was the kind of face grandmas couldn’t resist pinching and puppies just had to lick. His hair was a wild mess of brown curls that was sticking up all funny because of how long he’d been wearing his mask. He severely lacked the sharp, signature features that defined man from boy. Hell, he even had acne: tiny constellations of it dotted across his chin and forehead. No way was he considered a legal adult by the state of New York yet.

Spider-Man was no man at all. Spider-Man was, in fact, a Spider-Kid.

Otto lifted his eyes to the others. He didn’t know what to say.

“It’s not him,” Scorpion suggested.

Sandman scoffed. “What do you mean, ‘it’s not him’?”

“Maybe this isn’t Spider-Man,” he said. “Maybe the real Spider-Man sent a double. Someone to stand in his place while he’s busy or whatever to keep us at bay.”

“Spider-Man’s despicable if he’s sending some kid to fight his battles for him. Doesn’t sound like his style.”

“I don’t know! I’m just brainstorming here! I mean, you saw how pathetic he was today. Spider-Man normally puts up a better fight than that.”

“Yeah,” Electro said nervously. “Maybe it’s not him.”

“He was sticking to things and shooting webs and mouthing off just like the real Spider-Man always does,” Shocker retorted. “I’m pretty sure this is him.”

“Silence!” Octavius shouted, holding up his fist. He turned to the large screen on his right. “Computer, run biological and forensic diagnostics on Spider-Man.”

A series of beams and lasers scanned across the hero, gathering and analyzing information. About a minute later, a robotic voice spoke up.

“Facial and DNA match confirmed,” the A.I. replied. “Subject is Peter Benjamin Parker. Born to parents Richard and Mary Parker on August 10th, 2001. Age: fifteen. Address: 42-42 80th St, Queens, NY 11373. Current occupation: Intern at Stark Industries and sophomore high school student at Midtown School of Science and Technology.”

Stinging disbelief pricked all of them. Rhino’s jaw fell.

“Fifteen?”

“Sophomore?”

“High school?”

It was strange to finally be able to put a name and face to someone they had all known only as a masked caricature for so long. Peter Parker. Peter. And yet, the face still had everyone reeling to the point that the name hardly registered. Otto slammed a metal arm against the table.

“Shut up, all of you!” he spat. “Computer, relay back all the biological data you’ve gathered on Spider-Man.”

“Confirmed,” the A.I. said. “Subject’s current heart rate is 52 bpm. Subject’s current blood pressure is the 79mmHg. Subject’s current temperature is 105.8 degrees Fahrenheit.”

“None of those sound normal,” Sandman said with a snort.

“Relay DNA findings,” Doc Oc barked impatiently.

“Confirmed. Subject’s DNA is mutated and abnormal. Subject’s blood emits low levels of gamma radiation. Subject’s genome is human combined with an unidentifiable species of arachnid.”

Everyone’s eyes snapped up at once. The realization drizzled over them like baleful mist.

“Oh my god,” Sandman breathed. “It’s him.”

“You mean he’s actually part spider? Gag!”

With a scoff, Electro stepped away from the table, cupping his hands against the back of his neck. “You’re kidding me. You’re shitting me. You’re telling me this is the person I’ve been trying to kill this whole time? This is the guy I’ve been frying like a mozzarella stick?” He kicked a trash bin across the room. “Dammit! I do a lot of bad things, but I’d never knowingly hurt a child!”

“Spider-Man is just some fifteen-year-old high school brat?” Rhino said, pouting his lip. “Geez. I can’t believe we just beat the shit out of some kid.”

“Spider-Man is not just some kid!” Otto roared. “Who cares about his age! Have you all suddenly forgotten how much this bastard has antagonized every last one of us? How he’s foiled our plans and ruined our lives again and again for the past two years?”

Sandman pressed the heels of his hands to his temples. “Oh my god. Does that mean I’ve been beating him up since he was fourteen? My niece is three years older than him, and I can’t imagine putting her through what I’ve done to him!” He squeezed his eyes shut and bowed his head. “What kind of monster am I...?”

“I broke his damn leg,” Shocker said distraughtly. “And I enjoyed it.”

“Hell, guys…this is so messed up…”

Five members of the Sinister Six stewed in a sauna of shame and guilt. Octavius refused to join them.

“You spineless morons! All of you! Our enemy lays defeated in front of us, yet you choose to wallow in remorse! We should be celebrating! Nothing has changed! He’s young—so what? That doesn’t undermine all the frustration he’s caused us, or our glorious victory over him! Come on, now! Raise your glasses with me! To the Sinister Six! Guys...?”

Nothing he said could wipe the queasy looks off all their faces, or the guilty stickiness he felt in his own gut. Everything—all of this—it just felt wrong.

Sandman stood over Spider-Man and gingerly placed his hand against his forehead. It was startlingly hot and damp with sweat. “Computer, why is Spider-Man’s temperature so damn high? What’s the cause?”

A couple seconds later, the A.I. pinged. “Confirmed,” it said. “Subject has a norovirus infection. It appears subject has been infected for at least twenty-four hours. Norovirus is commonly diagnosed as gastroenteritis or the stomach flu. Symptoms include fever, cramps, dizziness, lightheadedness, and nausea.”

A groan swept through the room. Scorpion crossed his arms against the table and buried his head between them.

“He’s sick. That’s why he seemed so sluggish and off during the fight. Because we were beating up a sick kid.”

“Shit. Last time I had the stomach flu, I didn’t leave my bed for two days. He really thought he could take us on in his condition?”

“Not like we really gave him a choice,” Shocker murmured.

“The little punk probably didn’t even think twice about it,” Sandman said miserably. “After all, his dumbass adolescent brain is still developing.”

Rhino sulked. “Yeah, as long as we didn’t permanently damage it...”

The Sinister Six fell into a dreadful silence.  

At that moment, Spider-Man coughed. The group jumped and gasped, automatically assuming defensive positions with their fists raised, weapons drawn, and muscles coiled.

Spider-Man coughed again, his head lolling to the left, but he didn’t wake up. A collective sigh passed everyone’s lips. Electro went lax, his hands falling to his sides.

“So…um…what the hell do we do now?”

Scorpion frowned at him. “What do you mean?”

“Like, what do we do? We have him here, beat to a pulp. What are we going to do with him?”

For the first time, Spider-Man was at the complete mercy of his most powerful enemies. And for the first time, none of them wanted to chop off his head and impale it on a spike. 

Sandman gazed across the bruises on his face, the road burn striped across his limbs, the bloody puncture wound in his chest. His swollen leg, his black eye, the charred fabric and flesh. He hadn’t allowed himself to take all the damage in for what it was until now. A truly abominable and grisly sight.

“He won’t survive long if we just leave him like this,” he said quietly.

Again, all eyes rose to Dr. Octopus. Otto grimaced between their pitiful looks, their reluctantly pleading stares. Pathetic! he wanted to shout, but he couldn’t find the will to conjure the word—any words.

Soon enough, he felt his own callous facade melting away. He sighed.

“I…I suppose keeping him alive is in our best interest. For now.” He cleared his throat and pulled the goggles off his face. “I’ll clean and treat his injuries as best I can. At least to the point that they’re not life-threatening.” He waved his hand dismissively. “Go—get some rest, all of you. We’ll, uh—we’ll regroup in the morning.”

The Sinister Six exchanged nervous looks with each other, then turned back to the face of the half-dead fifteen-year-old in front of them. Hesitantly, they filed out of the room and up the stairs, shooting a couple anxious glances over their shoulders before climbing out of sight.

The room was eerily quiet now that it was just the two of them. An evil scientist and an unconscious super-child in spandex. The only noises were the beeps from the monitor on his right and the kid’s shaky, labored breathing.

“You’re really something, you know that?” Octavius scoffed. “Of course, now that we’ve finally bested you, this is what we end up with. This is what you are.”

With a thought, the claws at the end of one of his tentacles reconfigured into large shears. The material that made up Spider-Man’s suit was tough, but with a few strategic cuts and snips, Doc was able to tear through and peel the clingy fabric off his body. Now that he was stripped down to nothing but his boxers (which had tiny cartoon Iron Men on them, a sight that made him snort, despite his efforts not to) the devastating harm they’d inflicted upon him was painfully evident. The ratio of undamaged flesh to damaged flesh was sickeningly skewed toward the latter. There was so much to tend to, he wasn’t sure where to start. And it wasn’t like his doctorate had been in medical care.

“We really did a number on you, didn’t we Spider-Man?” Otto murmured. He looked back at the screen. “I mean…Peter. Peter Parker.”

The name felt salty on his tongue. He didn’t like how it humanized him, transforming the famous vigilante from vexing public figure to baby-faced teenager. He’d always dreamt of unmasking the scourge that was the elusive Spider-Man. Now he wished the day had never come.

He left Peter’s side to grab the medical kit from under the sink. Then he got to work, undoing the damage they had reaped.

___________________________________

“Computer, summarize what you’ve gathered on Peter Parker’s personal life.”

Roughly four hours later, Octavius flopped into a chair by the kid’s side, exhausted. He had treated all the wounds he had the capacity to treat, hooked him to an I.V. full of fluids and electrolytes, and was now monitoring his steadily improving vitals. The kid was a suture-filled, burn cream-lathered, bandaged-up mess, but at least he was on the mend instead of his death bed. Seemed like a good time to take a break and do some research on the person behind their friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.

“Confirmed,” the A.I. responded. “Compiling personal file.”

A slide with pictures and lists regarding Peter’s life materialized on the screen.

“Peter Parker was born in Queens, New York and still lives there today. He lived in a house in Forest Hills until 2005, then moved into the apartment complex he currently lives in now.”

“A house in New York City?” Otto scoffed. “How lavish. Why the downsize?”

The A.I. enlarged a photograph—a man and a woman holding a bright-eyed, squishy-faced toddler sporting a familiar headful of brown curls.

“Peter’s biological parents, Mary and Richard Parker, died in a plane crash in March of that year.”

A knot formed in Otto’s gut as he stared at the happy family portrait. “Oh,” he said.

“Orphaned at age four, Peter was then adopted by his aunt and uncle, May and Ben Parker. They couldn’t afford to live in the house in Forest Hills, so they moved Peter into their apartment nearby.”

Another picture floated up, this one of a different couple hugging a slightly older version of the curly-haired toddler. After that, a series of images flashed across the screen—young Peter at Central Park, at a science fair, at the zoo, at home, on the subway, on the Brooklyn Bridge, passed out on a couch. With each new picture, he got bigger, older, but not by much. Sometimes his aunt and uncle were with him. Sometimes he was with others his age. Sometimes he had on glasses as thick as windshields. His smile was wide as the sun and just as bright.

In the last picture, he was standing next to Tony Stark, holding an upside-down certificate congratulating him on his acceptance as a Stark Industry’s intern.

“Barf,” Otto muttered, but he couldn’t displace the warm, uneasy feeling he got when he looked at Peter’s smiling face. He really was just a kid. A young, dorky, stupid kid. A kid they’d beat into the dirt ten times over.

“Last year, May Parker became Peter’s sole guardian.”

Octavius blinked, his shoulders tensing. “What happened to the uncle? Ben Parker?”

“Ben Parker was murdered last April by an unknown shooter. The culprit was never caught.”

Octavius swallowed, staring at the photograph of Spider-Man’s uncle. Then he turned back to the mummified teenager on the table beside him. For an instant, something he never thought he could feel for the spider-themed superhero brushed his heart. 

Sympathy.

With a huff, Otto stood from his chair. “Come along then, arachnid,” he said, lifting the kid and the I.V. stand in his metal arms. “Let’s find you a more comfortable spot to rest.”

It was well past 4am by the time Octavius slumped into his own bed.

[smugbugunderarug]

Smug Bug Reads: Sonic the Comic #11

        Time Racer is a pretty self explanatory title and puts Sonic’s speed to the test quite like I’ve never seen before...

        Sonic gets word that Tails has been captured and is currently being held on the other side of the planet. He’s is pretty smug about the ordeal on his way there, jokingly calling Tails “pixel-brain” and saying that he’s such a nice guy to go rescue him. After that ego boost, he broke through the fortress, only to find Tails chained and nearly drowning in a vat of chemicals. Sonic helps him out, calling him a dummy this time and sarcastically asking if he made a wrong turn. Tails warns him that it’s all a trap, but before he could go into further detail, Dr. Robotnik appears on the nearby computer screen. The doctor confirms what the fox has to say, saying that the hedgehog is already too late (when is he really, though?).

        Foolishly, Robotnik explains his plan in detail: a satellite is currently residing in space and is precisely aimed at the Emerald Hill Zone, fully charged and ready to destroy every critter in the area.

        This... is not the first time Eggman, sorry, Robotnik has doomed himself by explaining his plan. This issue where he tried to trap Sonic inside a metal counterpart was another one, however, his defeat didn’t entirely happen because of him being mouthy. I have a feeling this is going to be a recurring theme for several issues.

        Anyways, Robotnik practically challenges Sonic to make it to Emerald Hill in five seconds, so I think we already know how this is going to play out.

        As soon as the doctor is done talking, Sonic is gone. With an even more determined than usual face, he’s shouting for everyone to get out of his way, and even though we don’t see any people, could he even be heard at the speed he was going? There’s a literal countdown in each panel, so the time it takes for him to yell... most probably wouldn’t have been able to hear it over his running, and if they did it probably wouldn’t have been a whole sentence...

        He’s seen going at incredibly fast speeds, making several sonic booms to the point where he’s only a blur of color on the paper. Remember when Archie Sonic ran across a continent? Fleetway Sonic laughs at that (and AoStH laughs at them both, but now isn’t the discussion for who’s fastest).

        Fortunately, he makes it to Emerald Hill with a half-second left to spare. A half-second. If Mobius is anywhere near the size of Earth, than that means he went 1979.4 miles in four and a half seconds. If my questionable math is correct, he’d have to be going around 440 miles per second! Dang... that’s one quick boy.         So he makes it in time to warn some of the critters, but the laser is already in sight. Soon enough it’s searing all over Emerald Hill, but Sonic has a plan...

        So he tries to make a mirror. This... kind of makes sense but at the same time it doesn’t. Sure, sand (specifically silicon) is used to make glass, so Sonic must have been creating enough friction to create 3,200 degrees Fahrenheit... ouch. Those power boots really can handle a lot.         Secondly, you need metal in order to create a mirror, a thin, boiling layer of metal. I’ll give it to the writer of this issue, that’s a pretty creative solution to the problem, but it’s just short of being possible. Most of the kids reading this probably wouldn’t have thought passed that though, so I don’t really blame the writer. Still...

        Well, Sonic brings the mirror over towards the laser’s path, and with the help of some of the critters he’s able to lift it up to the right angle so the beam bounces off and destroys the satellite. That... has got to be some crazy precise angling. Once again, the target audience of the comic probably wouldn’t have thought twice about it, but getting the exact angle from that distance... should be impossible. I guess traveling half the planet in five seconds is too, but still. Again, I’m being nitpicky.

        Anyways, Tails makes it back after the satellite explodes and... wait, how did Tails make it back so soon?!?! He’s got to be at least half as fast as Sonic to make it back in that short amount of time! And he still manages to get captured so often! H o w ?         Whatever, I’m done being nitpicky... Tails asks what just happened since there was a bright flash in the sky, and Sonic snidely remarks how he saved the world again, all by himself. Tails wishes he could get in on the action, but Sonic, the ego hog he is, says the reason why he can’t is because he’s not as cool as the hedgehog is. The issue ends with Sonic roasting Tails, further differentiating this Sonic from many others.

        He’s a good hero, but not so much a friend from what I could tell.

        TL;DR: Sonic goes f a s t and pulls a big no u.

[badbookreviewclub]

Empress Theresa, Chapters 5-10

Once more, if you haven’t read the previous update of Chapters 3 and 4, I highly recommend you do. You can find that review here.  Disclaimer: This review will contain spoilers. I guess if you don’t want the book spoiled for you, don’t read the review until afterward.  This one is going to be a long one, so strap the fuck in, because it’s a wild ride. Chapters 5-10 aren’t nearly as painful as chapters 3 and 4 were to read. They were much easier, though more confusing. Or at least, all but one chapter weren’t painful. Chapters 5 and 6 were just a giant recap of everything that happened in chapters 3 and 4 and are essentially pointless to the entire book, I’ll still go over a few things that happened in them, but in general, they are completely and utterly pointless. Chapters 7 and 8 are where things start to get confusing, 9 is just painful, and 10 elicits more confusion. In fact, 10 is the most confusing chapter out of the entire bunch, but, I’ll start from the beginning and hopefully, things will clear up more as I recall and lay it out for you.  Chapters 5 and 6 As I said, these chapters are just a giant review of what happened in 3 and 4. It’s a waste of time except for small details that are recalled in the chapters. However, because I had to live through this pain, you’re going to live through it too. At the start of chapter 5, Theresa wakes up in the hospital. Nothing too exciting. She realizes that there are a lot of people in her room, including the Prime Minister of England, Peter Blair. Theresa grows incredibly frustrated because “All [she] wanted was a quiet life.” I find this hard to believe later on down the line, but alright. She finally starts talking after throwing her tantrum and Blair, or as Boutin likes to write ‘pm Blair’ because he fucking loves abbreviations, confirms that she has been ‘dead’ for two weeks. I’ll get into this in a minute, but for now, all I will say is that it is fucking stupid. Theresa and Blair have a bit more conversation and Theresa inquires if the media has been talking about her. Rather than summarizing it for you because that would be far more interesting than what I had to endure, I’m going to write it all out word for word, so please, do enjoy. (Italics are my own notes) “‘I’ll bet my secret is out.’ (Theresa) ‘It is.’ (Blair) ‘Terrific. Some maniac will kill me in a week. How did you get to me in time?’ ‘We didn’t. You’ve been dead for two weeks.’ ‘What? That can’t happen.’ ‘It did. A most remarkable story.’ ‘So I went through all that for nothing?’ (Did you fucking want to die?)  I was referring to my kidnapping and fall from the plane. (Anybody with two cents worth of brain cells could figure this out. You don’t need to write it out.) ‘I’m afraid so.’ Could my anonymity still be preserved? ‘I’ll bet there’s a lot of news stories about me.’ ‘About a million if you include all languages around the world. You are discussed continuously.’ No anonymity! ‘Anybody say anything bad about me?’ ‘No. I have seen nothing negative.’ ‘I knew I might become famous and kept myself squeaky clean.’ (Is that the only reason? That’s a stupid, stupid fucking reason to try and be a good person in that case. More than that, I thought you wanted to live a quiet life? Yet you were planning on becoming famous?) ‘People with problems can be interesting too.’ ‘Yeah, well, people with problems don’t change the world.’ (Pgs 74-75)” Aside from what I’ve already commented on and how boring this entire conversation is, I take serious issue with that last remark. Believe it or not, but people with problems do change the world. You can look up a list of people who have changed the world, and almost every single one of them has had controversy before or people found problems with them. I asked four different people and the answers I got were: Hitler, Jesus, and Alexander the Great. All of them changed the world, be it for better or for worse, and every single one of them had problems. So please, Boutin, I’d like to hear your examples of people who changed the world who didn’t have problems. I’m waiting. Moving along from this shitshow display of poor logic and bad writing, we get more bad writing! What a fun surprise! Boutin goes way too in-depth about medical machines and what they had used to try and revive her and watch her vitals. If you’ll recall, this book is supposed to be an autobiography written by Theresa. I don’t recall Theresa every studying medicine or anything medical, or even having the slightest interest in medical things. In fact, later on, Theresa says that she wanted to be a high school math teacher. I almost guarantee, most high school math teachers will not know what an ‘electroencephalograph’ is. I still don’t know what it is and Boutin explains what it is in the fucking book. It took a quick google search after realizing I still didn’t know what it was to realize that it reads the electrical signals in the brain. That is all you had to say Boutin if anything at all. Yet, like everything else in this stupid fucking book, you had to go and make it complicated to make yourself seem like you are smart. Blah, Blah, Blah, turns out Theresa is coated in blood. This isn’t explained until about half-way through chapter six. As would turn out, it coagulated shark’s blood because when she was floating in the sea, a bunch of sharks came to try and eat her. Except, every time the sharks got close to her floating, apparently dead, body, they would explode and the other sharks would feast on the dead one. This is attributed to HAL, which I guess at this point, only makes sense. Unsurprisingly enough, HAL is what kept Theresa alive as well. However, it isn’t what brought her back to life. What brought her back to life was the doctors in London, putting her in a room at 105 degrees (Fahrenheit, I assume. Because Celcius would be fucking disastrous). And as her body warmed up, she came back to life. Rather than the doctors trying to save her or doing anything at all to try and help her, they just stared and hoped that as she warmed up, she would be revived. Unshockingly, this worked. After being revived Blair takes Theresa out to see an enormous crowd of people who are holding signs, essentially just jerking off Theresa’s ever-growing ego more. One of the signs, however, reads ‘SAVE US’. Theresa inquires about this and pm Blair refuses to answer. Instead, he sends her to a hotel and has BBC put together a documentary for her compiling everything that happened during the two-week stint that Theresa was ‘dead’.  Here is when we find out that the way HAL decided to try and save Theresa from death, that somehow worked, is that he stopped the wind. Yes. HAL stopped the fucking wind to try and save Theresa in her massive fall out of a plane. For some reason, everyone accepts this as perfectly logical. How, in the ever-changing and ever-flourishing earth, is this fucking logical? I don’t even know how to get into why the reasoning on this is so bad but I’m going to try. First of all, it’s the acceleration and then the eventual impact with water that would have killed Theresa, not the wind. Theresa slamming into the water would have flattened both her and all those empty plastic coke bottles she shoved into her jumper to act as a life jacket. The surface tension would have killed her regardless if there was wind or not. The wind played absolutely no factor in speeding up or slowing down Theresa’s fall, and in fact, would have probably been better for her if it picked up and disturbed the surface of the water because it would have helped to break that surface tension before she hit. Not saying she would have survived, but she would have had a slightly better chance at survival. Before I have an aneurism, I’m going to move on. President Martin resigned in the middle of the night and left his V.P., Veronica Stinson to take over as President. He did this because he announced to the entire world that he had Theresa killed and why. Obviously, the world didn’t react well to this, especially after realizing that the wind had stopped. I don’t know how they came to the conclusion that this was because of Theresa, but somehow they did. During the investigation of Theresa that happened shortly before Martin’s resignation, they found a file called MISSION IMPOSSIBLE in a file on Theresa’s account in the Boston College computer system. Don’t ask me what the file is about because I still have no fucking idea. I guess it’s a bunch of code to fuck knows what, but a whole bunch of mathematicians were brought in to try and decode it and none of them could.  Chapter 7 and 8 In these chapters, Theresa goes in front of the cameras with Prime Minister Blair and her ego gets jerked off more much to her delight. They go on and on about how amazing Theresa is and how she’s going to do great. These chapters are full of more bullshit and are overall annoying, but at the very least, they progress the story a bit more than the previous two. In chapter 7 Theresa explains what HAL is and why HAL transferred to her, and just like always, Boutin has absolutely impeccable logic. To put is as simply as I can, HAL transfers over to Theresa because, and she is dead convinced about this, despite HAL apparently having been in North America (Not Earth, North America) for “a hundred million years” he had never seen someone raking leaves before. As such, because HAL apparently thought that it was a new appendage, thus making this new create more complicated than the one he currently inhabited (the fox) it meant that it was obviously more complex and could help him to evolve more. By that logic, HAL, as soon as he sees an octopus, should leave Theresa for the octopus, but I guess not. We also find out why HAL isn’t sentient, and apparently, it’s because “He has no more brains than a jellyfish.” He doesn’t have brains despite the fact that he seems to have a constant and unchanging need to evolve and adapt new reflexes, thus urging him to move to more complex creates and recognizing when a creature is living and more complex. Theresa goes on with an overly long and complex description of just what HAL is, but I will sum it up for you as simply as I possibly can; HAL is made up of dark matter. He’s not an alien, he’s a remnant from the Big Bang and is constantly trying to evolve to keep its host alive and well. To fix this problem of the wind being stopped, Theresa suggests that they start a committee to come up with the best solution and people are both deeply displeased with her statement about what HAL is and her idea for a committee. Theresa isn’t happy that the people aren’t understanding her explanation either and says, “‘It’s their fault if they don’t get it’ I said to Nancy. ‘Everything has been explained. Nothing is understood.’ (Pg 126)” If people don’t understand your explanation, it’s not because they’re stupid, it’s because you did a poor job of explaining it. It is for this reason that I firmly believe Theresa would have never been able to make it as a math teacher, be she a teacher for high school or not. Aside from that, Theresa turns on the news, more specifically, “... the biggest international media circus of all: CNN (Pg 127).” CNN conducted an unofficial poll to see if people wanted Theresa to act with a committee or not and overwhelmingly, the answer is no.  The reasons vary as to why people are saying no, and because I can’t phrase them in a more eloquent manner than Boutin, who has the most beautiful writing I have ever had the absolute pleasure to read, I’ll let his own writing speak for itself and explain. “‘The committee will presumably meet with Theresa Hartley who is an American. Many nations will object. It’s not like the United Nations that meets in New York with no government presence. Theresa and the committee will be the government. With Hartley the most important member it will be an American government. That will be unacceptable to many (pgs 126-127).” Another reason offered up by the President of France, who claims “‘It is not practical. We are not talking of the United Nations where thousands of people are needed to do something. HAL can do something alone. This is power on a new level. A committee in control of HAL would be a target for every terrorist organization. I believe nobody will want to be on the committee. We would need to surround each member with an army (pg 128).’” No, you really wouldn’t need to surround every member with an army. I will also state now that nobody in their right or wrong mind, terrorist or not, would even think about killing Theresa at this very moment because as far as they all know if Theresa dies then they are all royally fucked in the ass without lube. Though Theresa quickly dissuades those fears of her death meaning the end of the world when she says that people can “‘...kill me if [they] want. HAL will just move to somebody else. It could be anybody. HAL wouldn’t know the difference between Joan of Arc and Adolf Hitler. You want to try your luck?’ (pg 129)” Wonderful job comparing Theresa to Hitler again, Boutin. You’ve absolutely outdone yourself this time around. I’m going to point out now, Theresa never has an assassin come after her in the next couple of chapters, so this threat of people or terrorists coming after her is utterly pointless and at best, it’s a complete and utter joke.   Also, I’d just like to point out that Boutin uses an outdated and potentially offensive term for ‘Muslim’, saying ‘Moslem’ instead when describing Middle Eastern countries. I’m not Muslim, so I can’t speak to the offensiveness of this, but it took a quick google search to verify that yes, one probably shouldn’t be using this word when writing. I would also like to point out that there are Muslim countries outside of the Middle East, and that Norman is more than just a little uncultured. Anyways, in chapter 8, to try and keep Theresa safe, they send her to live in a mansion in England owned by the Parker family. The Parker family reminds me of animated mannequin dolls who do nothing but stare at you without a word. The Parker family “won’t speak to [Theresa] unless [she] speak[s] first (pg 144).” The reason why they won’t do this is that “Every moment of [Theresa’s] time is the world’s treasure (pg 144).” Bullshit.  Theresa goes and meets the Parker family once Steve arrives at the house and none of them matter as far as I’m aware and hold no relevance to the story. If they come up again and for one reason or another hold any kind of purpose, I’ll mention who they are but for now, their presence in Empress Theresa is pointless. All they are good for is to give Theresa the house. Wonderful story writing abilities, Boutin. People start sending Theresa money because apparently, they’re so grateful to her and her attempts to start saving them that they feel as though they need to send her 6000+ letters and money. By the end of the second day, I think that they have over a million dollars, which is fucking nuts, but alright, I guess. Thersa also has absolutely no work ethic when she is working, which makes me absolutely concerned with how the fuck she managed to get straight A’s in school and in college. But to show you how terrible her work ethic is, let me lay it out for you in Boutin’s words. “As the week went on we settled into a routine. Three hours was about all I could take doing the intense work I was doing. So after working form 8 to 11 in the morning I’d take a walk around the estate with Steve. Then it was lunch. Then work from 1 to 4 in the afternoon and a couple of hours of reading or television before dinner. Finally, maybe an hour or two of work in the evening before the winding down to bedtime (pg 150-151).” Because you know, it’s not like the world is in peril and every day that you are working to try and save the world people are dying and being killed off for their supplies more likely than not. It isn’t like the world would logically be falling into a state of complete anarchy at knowing that their lives are in the hands of an 18-year-old who has absolutely no record of working and has no real-world experience, thus leading people to absolutely lose all hope in the system or at any chance of survival which would severe the social-contracts that bind us all and keep humanity from functioning in a state of nature, but it’s whatever, I guess. After all, we live in Boutin’s magical world now, where everybody is perfectly calm and nobody in the world is in a state of panic because the world is literally falling apart right before their eyes. Nobody has any mental disorders which this situation is only exacerbating and schizophrenia is only a convenient excuse as to why you don’t tell people about the insane shit that happens in your life. Anyways…  Chapter 9 This chapter is a fucking shit show and makes me want to burn the book before I finish it. I hated this chapter so much because it shows just how uncultured and entitled Norman Boutin is. He is the definition of an entitled North American, and what is supposed to come off as Boutin shitting on other countries only makes him look like a fucking idiot and it makes Theresa look like an absolute cunt. But, I’ll get into that in a moment. For now, let’s work our way to that point. At the beginning of this chapter, we see Theresa trying out different tasks to try and train HAL or get him to develop new reflexes. I have no idea what her end goal is here or what getting him to develop these new reflexes will do other than giving her a stupid as fuck skill. She does this in four different ways (keep in mind, this is supposed to be incredibly intense work that keeps her from working more than 3 hours at a time. Also please take note, I am writing this word for word and double-checking to make sure I haven’t left any errors on my part), “One was to slide a small coin between two glasses on a table. I’d place a coin next to one glass, leave it there a moment, then put my finger on it to slide it to the other glass. After doing this a few times, I’d place the coin at the first glass and wait a while to see if HAL would move it for me (pg 157.)” “The second thing I did was a takeoff on the throwing accuracy skill that HAL gave me. I tossed a coin in a small metal can a few feet away. Keeping my eyes on the can’s opening got the coin inside the can every time. Then I’d toss a coin with my eyes shut. Once in while the coin would go in the can by pure chance, but generally, it missed (pg 157).”  “The third thing I did was stand up and drop a coin on the floor besides the can while keeping my eyes on the can’s opening. If HAL got the idea he would move the coin into the can. I was not throwing the coin; I was dropping it. If HAL guided the coin to the can it was a new reflex using elements of an old one (pg 158).” “The fourth thing I did was entirely different. I suspended a one foot ruler on a piece of string. The string was attached to the end of a yardstick held in place with a book on top of a bookshelf. After steadying the foot ruler I pointed to its end for the moment to give HAL a chance, then I pushed the ruler’s end to make it rotate a hundred degrees or so. This maneuver had nothing to do with coins, or throwing, and would seem to require very little of HAL, just a tiny push (pg 158).”  Boo fucking hoo. Does Theresa need a little binky because she’s upset at how intense this work is and how hard it is? Does she need Steve to come in and start giving her an allowance because it’s more than obvious that this incredibly difficult job is taking a toll on her? I know throwing a coin can be so difficult for her, and the brainpower she’s exerting right now must be off the charts. It’s not like there are people who work 8 hours straight or 17 hours straight in a day only to get in total 2.5 hours work of break time, two of which aren’t even paid for or accounted for because it’s supposed to be ‘lunch’.  Anger and bitterness aside, HAL doesn’t respond to any of these (probably because they make no fucking sense) and after a couple of days of this with work and no progress for HAL’s part, Theresa decides that despite the fact that they’ve been there for three weeks, she needs a vacation. So where do they head? Paris. This is where I get angry, more so than I was before if you can believe it. I am a total francophile and am in the process of learning to speak french, so you’ll have to forgive the ensuing rant. Theresa and Steve go to Paris in disguises so they don’t get mobbed, however, the disguises are fucking stupid. Steve wears a floppy hat and sunglasses and Theresa wears sunglasses and piles her hair on top of her head. Those aren’t disguises, those are just you changing your outfit a little bit. Sorry honey, but with how much your face has been broadcast and all of the photos of you and the posters they’re selling of you without your consent there’s no way that’s a fucking ‘disguise’. Theresa and Steve decide that they want to go see the different famous parts of Paris, including the ‘Champs-Elysees’ which is filled to the brim of ‘over-expensive’ stores, despite the fact that the Champs-Élysées is infamous for being filled with designer and luxury stores and brands, it’s absolutely filled with brilliant french fashion. But, despite what Boutin claims about having absolutely no chain stores, it does. Les Champs has different chain outlets like Sephora, Nike, GAP, et...c. They also go to see the Arch of Triumph which I can only assume is the Americanized version of the Arc de Triomphe. Call me a fucking pretentious bitch if you want, but its name is Arc de Triomphe, not Arch of Triumph. They go into the Louvre, which in itself isn’t a problem. That is, it’s not a problem until they arrive at the Mona Lisa, which Theresa claims is ‘not impressive’ because it’s so ‘small’, is ‘in a recess in the wall’ and is ‘covered by light-absorbing darkened glass to protect it from flashy cameras’. Admittedly, I do think at times that the Mona Lisa can be over-hyped, but it a piece of history. The Mona Lisa is almost akin to a wonder of art history, and it’s so well protected and hidden because it’s worth so fucking much and people have attempted to throw acid on it before. Not only that, but they don’t want people touching the Mona Lisa. It’s Leonardo da Vinci’s masterpiece of the Renaissance and one of the most known paintings in the world, so I’m so sorry you’re disappointed by it, Theresa, and can’t be bothered to look up information about it that is more than easily accessible to anybody with a phone and a penny’s worth of intelligence. We then get to the absolute peak of Boutin’s cultural knowledge and acceptance, when Theresa goes to visit the Notre-Dame de Paris. “It was smaller than we expected. It was basically a pile of stone erected around 1200 and the huge pillars holding up the roof didn’t leave much room for the people. There were no pews; everybody had to stand. The artwork was pre-Renaissance and rather unspectacular after our visit to the Louvre. It was disappointing (pg 165).”  I am so, so fucking sorry you found it disappointing Theresa. I understand that history isn’t everyone’s love, but the Notre-Dame is absolutely dazzling in its beauty. The shit that the Notre-Dame has gone through and how it still remains standing today is an absolute miracle. I know it went through the fire, yet it still stands. The beautiful stained glass windows that will make anyone in awe of their beauty and would bring me to tears if I ever got the chance to see them in person still remain. The sun shines through the glass and gives an ambiance of absolute reverence and holiness. The gothic architecture pulls you back in time and brings you to when the cathedral was built. You are in a standing piece of history, so who gives a fuck if there are no pews? There are so many people filtering in and out of the Notre-Dame day in and day out that they can’t afford to have pews in the building. They still hold services in the building and bring in chairs for people to sit, you just didn’t happen to attend when there was a service because you’re a tourist. Tourists don’t attend church services in historic cathedrals, usually. Besides that, the Notre-Dame was built in 1163-1345 CE. Technically around the year 1200 CE, but still, this information is readily available to anyone who can access Google. Also, how fucking dare you call it a pile of stone? This building is more than just a fucking pile of stone. The rock garden in front of my parent’s house is a pile of fucking stone, the Notre-Dame is anything but a pile of stone. It is the heart of Paris, is the lady of Paris who was mourned when she burned down and is being rebuilt. The Notre-Dame is a masterpiece of architecture and a building that I, even as an atheist, would die to see. The Notre-Dame has been through hell and back and yet the building still stands. It has lived through the best and through the worst of times in France and it still endures. The Notre-Dame is a sign of hope for the French, just as the American flag acted as a sign of hope of the United States during the revolutionary war. I wouldn’t call the flag a bunch of fabric, so, don’t you fucking dare call the Notre-Dame a pile of stone. The way that her feelings are expressed about the Notre-Dame, how it has no pews, calling it a pile of stone, calling the stained glass unspectacular, it radiates childish behavior and thoughts. It shows just how uncultured Boutin is and makes Theresa look like a complete brat in her behavior because she has absolutely no will to educate herself in the slightest and it makes her look absolutely entitled. It’s petulant and childish behavior and I will not stand for it. If you’re going to act like a child, Theresa, I’m going to treat you like the little brat you are. You have absolutely no capacity for thought other than ‘I want what I want, and when it’s not exactly how I want it, I’m going to throw a fucking tantrum and call it awful and unfair.’ After Theresa acting like an entitled brat, they go to the Eiffel Tower, where she gets to act more like an entitled brat. She’s mad that the subway doesn’t drop them right off at the Eiffel Tower and they have to walk half a mile (Oh no, I’m so fucking sorry that you have to walk h a l f   a   m i l e) to get to the tower. Paris, apparently, isn’t anything special to look at when you get to the observation deck on the Eiffel Tower, and Theresa calls Paris a “tired old city. American cities offered just as much (pg 165).” How Fucking Childish Can She Get? American cities do not have nearly as much to offer. Yes, in the United States we have so much history on our shores, especially from Native American tribes, but the United States doesn’t offer as much. In no way shape or form does the United States offer nearly as much as Paris does in terms of history. They didn’t even go and visit some of the more amazing and breathtaking sights, like the catacombs, or any of the old and castles, left to ruin. No food was tried, no culture was experienced, no history was truly experienced. Theresa and Steve did absolutely nothing to immerse themselves into the Parisian culture and they got nothing out of it, so what the fuck did they expect? This rings of entitlement and childish behavior and it’s fucking stupid. Chapter 9 has infuriated me like no other chapter so much to the point that I don’t even feel as though I can properly express how angry I am.  But, for the sake of my own sanity, we’ll move along. Theresa says she misses chipmunks which have absolutely nothing to do with Paris or what she was just talking about but I guess this statement is at least semi-important. At about 9 pm they go out to a second-floor restaurant that obviously has a dress-code and expect to be serviced like entitled children. Surprise, surprise, they’re not serviced because they’re dressed in ‘American casual’. Even in the United States, restaurants that have a dress code have the right and will refuse you service if you’re not adhering to that code. So Steve and Theresa decide to seat themselves, and this may be getting nitpicky, but once more it shows how little research Boutin did and how uncultured he is, because, despite the fact that it’s 9 at night, he says ‘Bonjours’ to a French couple next to him. Yes, ‘Bonjours’, not ‘Bonjour’, he fucking adds an ‘s’ to the end. A quick lesson in French: Bonjour is only used during the morning/early-middle of the day. It literally translates to ‘good day’, and you wouldn’t say ‘good day’ to someone at 9 pm. 9 am you can, in fact, that’s acceptable. But at 9 pm, you would say ‘good night’, or ‘Bonsoir’. It doesn’t take years of French to know this. It takes two seconds of searching on Google which I am convinced Boutin is incapable of doing at this point Anyways, they leave the restaurant after showing to everyone that it was mE, DIO THE WHOLE TIME. NEVER FUCKING WOULD HAVE GUESS THAT, WOULD YOU? Just kidding, that would have been better. No, they just reveal that it was Theresa and Steve the whole time who aren’t (no they definitely are) random American slobs. Moving along, they go to Ireland this time and have a fucking blast, I guess. Then they go back to England and back to the Parker residence, where Theresa finds out that Steve had the soldiers build Theresa a little shed/cage thing for chipmunks, which he is having imported from the United States. Why? Because she missed them. Once again, it’s not like it’s been 3 weeks since Theresa found out the world was ending and she hasn’t really done jack shit to try and fix it. The world definitely isn’t completely and utterly fucked. Chapter 10  We have finally made it to the last chapter of this review and by far one of the most confusing ones. To save you the pain I had to go through of trying to decipher this chapter because I feel like being nicer than Boutin was to me after chapter 9, Theresa gets a new ‘reflex’ where every time she closes her eyes or puts her hands in front of her face (one of the two, I still can’t tell) she basically has a black and white google earth pop up, except it’s moving in real-time. She can zoom in and zoom out and spy on people or see places that are far away as they’re happening. I don’t know what the point of this is yet, but I guess it’s a good thing.  Theresa also gets HAL to do the things that she wanted him to do in the ‘training’ exercises I mentioned earlier, and the way that Boutin describes it is super fucking confusing, so I’ll just put it simply by saying that Theresa gets HAL to do the thing and HAL does the thing well. And then, she’s working to get HAL to do the thing super fast and to do multiple things all at once.  People took her trip to France and Ireland well, I guess because it’s an indication that she’s still interested in things outside of herself. This is completely unrealistic and at this point, I highly doubt anyone would be letting Theresa do jack shit aside from working to save the earth. There would probably be a lot of riots and arguably, if things were realistic, Theresa would be dead as soon as people learned that HAL could transfer over if she died and chances were, they’d give HAL to somebody older and with more experience who had a team working behind them to make sure that they do the right thing. Chipmunks are important again because the Parker family finds it super endearing that she managed to get the chipmunks to eat out of her hand, and they take videos of it and post it all over social media. Theresa claims that the videos were shown on every corner of the planet, especially in kid’s programs, which apparently showed the clips every day. This totally doesn’t sound like indoctrination to me. At all. Somehow, because she’s taking good care of the chipmunks, this is supposed to make people have faith in her skills.  Theresa realizes that there needs to be rain, but we don’t find out what she does about that in this chapter which is fucking stupid. This entire book is fucking stupid and if I didn’t have problems with the idea of leaving things half-finished, I would have stopped reading it at this point. And that’s it. That is chapters 5-10. I hoped you enjoyed living through this hell with me. See you all whenever I get around to another review. Remember, if you have a book you want me to review, feel free to hit me up with an ask or some other way and I will do my best to get back to you. 

[playquiz]

What is a good thing about sleeping anyway?

"People who say they sleep as a toddler usually don't have a toddler." Leo J. Burke

I wholeheartedly believe supported learning experience. If you haven't tried anything, how does one know if it works or not? For several years I used to be curious to understand how my body skilled some nutritional and training interventions, and that I recently started trying easy ways to "penetrate" my systems using technology within the sort of tools and applications.

Being the most unaffected copy of yourself requires tons of trial and error. We, humans, are complex beings, and that we are all different on the within as we are on the surface, so what works on behalf of me may have the other effect on you. I also love the system-based scientific approach to biology and physiology, not "well that ought to be true because I read it during a magazine" or was endorsed by a star or athlete. What involves us within the sort of food, scenes, thoughts, muscle stimulation, and sounds determines what comes out—our behavior, performance, memory, and health. If we would like to return up with something useful / better, we'd like to enter something good / better. Three of the foremost critical areas you'll specialize in when it involves self-experiences and breakthroughs in your health are food, sleep, and stress... Why? Because even small changes in each of those areas can have immediate and exciting effects on your life. I will primarily specialize in the sector of sleep, and more specifically, I will be able to test natural and cheap methods supported science to enable me to enhance the standard and quantity of my sleep. I will be able also to examine some recommended technology to ascertain how effective it's. I have been using the sleep tracker for over a year now, and although it hasn't helped me get more sleep or better sleep, it's made me more conscious of the small I'm already getting and the way different situations affect my height and depth of rest. The info I will be able to collect also still will be useful on behalf of me to work out the effectiveness of the methods that I shall develop over the subsequent month. What is good at sleeping, anyway? Let's check out this from the opposite angle. What's bad about not getting enough sleep? It's quite direct effects like bad moods, lack of focus or other signs that you simply feel exhausted, like feeling emotional, hungry, and ragged. Sleep deprivation can have severe consequences for your long-term physical health. Here is that the frightening side of lack of sleep Stroke risk According to research, even without typical risk factors, like weight gain or having a case history, lack of sleep can increase the danger of stroke. Contributes to obesity Lack of sleep can cause you to gain weight! Really? Perhaps "if you postpone you lose" it seems like a true saying after hearing this. Sleep is essential if you would like to lose fat or maintain a slim body. Insufficient sleep can contribute to some less-than-ideal food options, including serving more food and looking for fast meals, because of some complex hormonal changes that happen once you aren't getting enough food. Sleeping for 6 hours or less seems to extend the assembly of the ghrelin hormone and reduce leptin, helping you balance food intake. Also, decreased sleep appears to be related to the division of unfavorable nutrients, which suggests that within the event of reduced caloric intake, more weight is going to be lost as a lean mass of body fat. It increases the danger of diabetes Studies have examined the connection between insufficient sleep and insulin resistance, a risk factor for diabetes. Among the healthy adolescents, the researchers found, their shortest sleepers had the very best insulin resistance, meaning that the body doesn't use insulin effectively. Other studies have examined fat cells, especially, and have found that lower sleep increases insulin resistance in these cells, even when caloric intake is restricted. Fuel amnesia You may know that on days once you are exhausted, you forget and not focus, but sleep deprivation can cause permanent cognitive problems. The less we sleep, the less we enjoy the memory storage characteristics of sleep. But lack of sleep can cause a deterioration within the brain, which can partially explain a minimum of some amnesia later in life. Bone damage Long-term sleep deprivation appears to contribute to osteoporosis. Loss of sleep reduces the body's secretion of the human somatotropin liable for strengthening the bones and repairing wear and tear. Your heart hurts The stress and stress caused by a scarcity of sleep can cause the body to supply more chemicals and hormones, which will cause heart condition. Lack of sleep can accelerate signs of skin aging because the body produces cortisol (stress hormone) which will break down collagen and weaken the skin's ability to repair in the dark. Finally, when our sleep suffers, our system also suffers, which makes us more susceptible to disease and infection. I always knew how important sleep was to my health, but I have never taken it seriously yet. Sleep science - it isn't as easy as spending longer in bed. To make changes, you would like to create and build achievable daily habits in your routine. However, what should these habits be? How does one know they're going to work? It's where I address the research project to assist me. I've talked tons about hormones here already and the way they affect us negatively thanks to lack of sleep but guess what? When it involves good sleep, the hormones are again... but this point, they're going to help us. Understanding which of them and the way to enhance them should be the key to improving our health. The hormones that make us sleepy The magical hormone liable for regulating sleep cycles is melatonin, which is, of course, released with darkness and tells our body to sleep. It not only controls your usual sleep pattern but also reduces stress and is additionally anti-oxidant, which suggests it slows down the aging process. Once we are younger, our melatonin levels are high, but unfortunately, we see a gradual decrease as we age. Many things can also eliminate natural melatonin production within the body. These include long flight disorder and shift work, but the foremost common cause is abnormal exposure to light after dark hours. Blue light is the most harmful emitting from cell phones, computer screens, and televisions. So yes, reading from an iPad before getting to bed is worse than reading an honest old book! Even awakening in the dark and checking the time on your phone can stop your body from producing melatonin instantly! Unfortunately, whether you've got been fighting for an hour or a second, the effect is that the same. The problems that have seem to be mainly thanks to our modern lifestyles, which differ significantly from how our ancestors wont to live. They weren't awake late using laptops or watching TV. Instead, they used light to make a decision when to sleep and when to awaken. Increased melatonin So, if melatonin is so excellent and its production will help me improve my sleep, the procedure that I will be able to take must answer the question: "What simple changes am I able to make to extend melatonin levels naturally? The straightforward answer could also be to use a dietary supplement. Still, the matter is that the utilization of Repetitive artificial melatonin can reduce my body's ability to supply it, so instead, I want to develop lifestyle habits that will maximize melatonin production without the necessity for outside help. What do I do? I always seem to sleep better after a hot shower just before bed (high and low blood heat appears to market drowsiness) and do so occasionally during the week. It's best if I throw some Epsom salts (which contain magnesium) that my body absorbs through the skin. Sometimes I will be able to use Betteryou Magnesium Spray, which I mainly use as a relaxant after training, but it's also useful for bedtime use to assist me to sleep. It appears that the body more readily absorbs magnesium through the skin instead of taking oral supplements. I regularly use Bulletproof Sleeping Mat for 20 minutes before bed. On most nights, I sleep in complete darkness (faster for dimming), even the slightest amount of sunshine can disrupt your mechanism and produce melatonin. Although there's no thermometer in my bedroom, I tend to sleep better when the weather may be a little cooler. Indeed, the perfect temperature for an honest night's sleep is between 60 and 67 degrees Fahrenheit. I regularly eat eggs, nuts/seeds, salmon, chicken, bananas, and oats, which are known to be a potent melatonin booster. I always eat a night meal that contains protein, fat or low-glycemic food in blood glucose to enhance tryptophan levels (tryptophan is an aminoalkanoic acid that promotes sleep that contributes to the assembly of serotonin, a brain chemical that helps us relax and is employed to form melatonin). I take a magnesium supplement after dinner and again before getting to bed. Magnesium is the most potent relaxing mineral available. However, it must be supported with proper nutrition for the body to soak up and use it. (Time for an additional blog) My phone, although it shouldn't be charged in my bedroom, is placed in airplane mode to avoid EMF which may disturb sleep. I now use the Lome timepiece that gently wakes me up with natural light rather than sound. What I'm not good at - what is going to I attempt to improve my sleep? Sometimes I will be able to impose a curfew on myself, but this never seems long, and that I find myself getting to sleep later. As I write this, I'm committing the last word sin of sleep. It's 11:30 pm, and that I drink coffee and stare at the pc screen! I will make a concerted effort to sleep at 10 pm nightly. It's going to be unrealistic to try to do this seven days every week, but I will be able to attempt to be as consistent as possible. Every hour of sleep before midnight is adequate to two hours after. Now, I do not skills correct this is often, but I've read it quite a couple of times, so maybe it's worth looking into it. I installed F.lux on my phone, iPad, and computer (it's free). Change the color on your screens, counting on the time of day. F.lux uses warmer colors after sunset to match the inside lighting. Although there are not any scientific studies to prove its success, the thought seems plausible and price the experiment. I have already got a pair of blue, orange glasses that block the sunshine but I admit I do not wear them that much. I downloaded "Pzizz" which is an app that claims to assist you in nodding off faster with a variety of soothing sounds and acoustic signals intended to help you relax and squeeze. I'm currently also researching other techniques supported by vocal neuroscience, and I am trying to experiment with a system developed by the brain. I will replace my coffee after dinner with herb tea (really yes!) Caffeine not only acts as a stimulant but also will start to release magnesium from my body. Getting an honest night's sleep seems to be an art and a science and that they are crucial to our health. With some simple strategies, we will all get top quality and cozy sleep that our bodies and minds deserve. There are not any shortcuts, and that we got to make sleep a priority. Our physical, mental and emotional health depends thereon. Take hold of your actions and surroundings, be consistent and allow us to enjoy Zzzzzzz.

[cloudynames]

Troublemaker

i promised i would be back!! please enjoy this yangyang post <3 also please keep hendery in your thoughts because he hurt his waist by falling :(( let’s thank winwin for taking care of him though!

Word Count: 1,838

Rating: Teen

Warnings: Swearing, suggestive thoughts

lets get it!!

-----------------------------------

Living in a dusty desert with scorching weather all year round was definitely not the top of your desired places to live. The summers were like Hell on Earth with sticky thighs and peeling skin if you didn’t apply enough sunscreen. If you thought the winters were better, it was only a couple of degrees lower and instead you were left wishfully thinking of snowy mountains. However, your wonderful college just so happened to border the desert and because most people didn’t want to work in the sandy wasteland, finding a job within the college town was near impossible. Jobs like dog-walking were available but walking every day in the 100° Fahrenheit for three hours was something you would despise. With how much you go out with your friends or not realizing how expensive rent is, you needed to make money because even with your parents donating funds, it still wasn’t enough.

Thankfully, a Motel 6 opened up barely half an hour away from campus and your parents had blessed you with a car just before you left for college. It was awkward trying to become accustomed how proper and prim you had to act since you were just college kid working at the dingy motel for a couple of extra dollars. Even though it was only a part time job, you’ve learned much about the importance of appearances. Wearing a stuffy black, blazer and a white button down every other day has people glancing at you differently and even letting you have coffee on the house at your favorite cafe. Many people thought you were an important business person but in reality, it was a young adult playing dress up.

Another important value your job has taught you was the importance of not judging the guests that walk in during different times of the day, the exact opposite for yourself. You’ve seen truck drivers, couples, business people, and more walk into the small Motel 6. No matter what state they seem to be in, whether it be exhausted, giddy, or anguished, you always smiled politely and asked, “What kind of room would you like to rent and for how long?” The fewer questions asked, the better night it would be.

Working at the Motel 6 has never made you seriously question the safety of your surroundings but has definitely almost made you press the, ‘Call police,’ button under the receptionist’s desk. You’ve seen someone come in with shovel which made you question their intentions until you realized they were a construction worker. After that brief encounter, you’re not worried about the people who walk in.

Until a cool, May night presents you with a boy with ruffled, messy brown hair and a glimmer in his eyes which can only be described as dangerous. When he walked in, you couldn’t help but stare blankly at him. He stands in front of you, rocking back and forth and whistling mindlessly to some popular tune on the radio.

“How may I help you, sir?” You question, quirking an eyebrow at him. He was dressed in a black sleeveless shirt with dirty combat boots. He played with the leather jacket wrapped around his waist, also while displaying his spiky belt. If trouble had a name, it would be his.

“It’s Yangyang. I want your cheapest room for one night.” His accent rings out in the air and you stare at him quietly. There is only one conclusion you’ve come to: a one night stand.

“May I see some form of identification?”

He slides an international driver’s license onto the granite counter and you carefully examine the card. ‘Liu Yangyang’ is the same age as you and seems to be from Germany. You give his license back after typing in the required information within the computer. Asking minor questions, you notice how his eyes glimmer or how he nervously played with a tuft of his hair. Silently giggling to yourself, you acknowledged how adorable he was. He seemed like trouble but that didn’t mean you couldn’t think the bad boy was attractive.

After handing him a key card, you wished him a pleasant night as he went back out the entrance, probably to hit up the bars and bring someone back with him. That thought doesn’t settle well in your stomach and you find yourself pouting because of fate. You wouldn’t have normally cared but this was the first guy you’ve found cute in a while. Shrugging it off, you dismissed the thought. You were just deprived of any romance with juggling a job and school. All your heart and brain wanted was someone to kick back with and the first guy you thought was attractive walked into the motel lobby meant your heart had to jump at the thought.

Yangyang comes back quicker than expected without an escort. Instead, he carries a guitar case, an amp, and a backpack. Wordlessly, you send a prayer up to God and hope that Yangyang isn’t going to be the spawn of Satan and play his guitar at nearly ten o’clock. He waves you a goodbye as he ascends up the elevator, almost dropping the amp in the process. Shyly, you wave back and turn back to your homework that you’ve hidden under the receptionist desk.

An hour passes by and nobody has called the desk or came into the motel. Internally, you’re grateful but your gut tells you that your night isn’t going to be that uneventful. Just as you were finishing up your calculus work, the painful ringing of the desk phone disturbs your relaxed mind. Taking a deep breath, you pick up the phone and with a cheery voice, you speak, “Hello, this is Motel 6’s receptionist desk. How may I help you?” A gruff voice greets you, “Yeah, hello. There’s this annoying ass kid playing the guitar on my floor and I want him to shut the fuck up or I’ll request a refund!” He nearly screams into the phone, making you move the device away from your ear.

“Yes, I will talk to him immediately. Thank you for notifying the desk.” Without waiting for his response, you slam down the phone. You already know who’s causing trouble.

Liu Yangyang.

As you call one of the other receptionists in the break room to cover for you while you deliver a stern talking to the troublesome guest, you notice the phone ring again.

Bracing yourself mentally, you pick up the phone and are immediately greeted with, “Front desk? Yeah, deal with that kid! I can’t sleep and I have an important business meeting tomorrow. I’ll have this entire motel bulldozed before you can even blink!” And the line ends with a buzz.

The clacking of your shoes on the tiles reflect the beating in your heart as you go up to the floor above to encounter the hot topic of the night. As you stare at room ‘116,’ you feel anxiety build up and you realize you’re hyping yourself over nothing. Shaking all feelings away, you quickly rap your knuckles on the dark wooden door.

Yangyang opens the door soon after, sweat covering his forehead, making his hair stick to his neck and he smiles breathlessly at you.

“Hi, what's up?” He asks casually, holding his guitar in one hand and holding the door open with the other hand. With his whole room on display, you noticed how his room seems to be disheveled with garbage thrown everywhere. Pity fills in your chest for the maids tomorrow but you’ve come here with a mission.

“We’ve received a few calls for noise complaints. Would you care to explain the situation?”

Suddenly, it clicks in his head and he attempts to hide the guitar behind his body. “Uh, nope. No clue. I haven’t heard anything.”

Eyes narrowing, you step closer to him and get a whaff of his intoxicating cologne but it doesn’t stop your task at hand.

“Liar. You know exactly what I’m talking about. Keep making noise and we’ll be more than happy to kick you out.” With that, you whip your body around and start stomping off to the elevators once more. You didn’t fail to catch his whisper afterwards as well, “Woah, that was hot.”

Taking your seat at your desk once more, you fan your hands in front of your cheeks as an attempt to calm yourself down. Playing on your phone served as a good distraction as soon it was twelve and your other coworker has come in to take over your shift. “Hi Johnny,” you greet him, writing down notes of things that have happened throughout the night.

He replies back and before he can talk your ear off, you shove him into the breakroom so he can get settled and take over your shift. Just as he comes out of the breakroom, the phone rings once more, almost mocking you. Dread sets in your stomach and you hope it’s someone calling for an extra pillow. Slowly picking up the phone, you say, “Hello, front desk. How may we help you tonight?”

The same gruff voice from just an hour earlier assaults your ear with profanities and something along the lines of, “That stupid fucking boy is making more noise! I can’t stand it! Listen--”

“Yes sir--” You cut him off before abruptly continuing, “We’ll talk to him once more,” you end the call and sit back in your chair, groaning loudly.

Johnny affectionately pats your head. “Just threaten him and then you can go home.”

Home did sound nice after a night like this. Grumbling and hauling your backpack upstairs irritated you immensely. This time, you weren’t going to be so nice to this boy. You thought he got the message originally but clearly not. He wasn’t going to ruin your night anymore. You had no sleep yet and were looking forward to bingeing a new show since you had no class the next day.

Knocking on the door, you braced yourself for a long, insulting speech about his lack of manners and how he would be a lot cuter if he learned some.

The culprit opens the door and brightly grins.

“Oh good! My plan worked! Now you can talk to me but it looks like you’re reprimanding me so nobody will suspect anything!” With that, he grabs your arm and yanks you into the room. You’ll never admit to him once you’re in the room that you liked the feeling of his warmth on your arm.

What were you saying about a deprived love life again?

---------------------

“Liu Yangyang,” you state, licking the vanilla cone he bought you before it begins to drip all over your hand.

“Yes, baby?” He replies, brushing the hair out of your eyes and also taking a lick of his own cone.

“Why were you at the motel that day?”

“Oh, I left my dorm to practice because my roommates were complaining about the noise. The adorable receptionist was a bonus that night.” “You’re so irritating.”

“But you love it.”

[lovemychinchilla]

Chinchilla Temperature Requirements

Chinchilla fur keeps it warm, but that can work against your pet sometimes. It's easy to get your chinchilla too hot, and if you do, the worst could happen...

What's the ideal temperature for chinchillas? The chinchilla's temperature requirements sit between 57 and 70 degrees Fahrenheit/14 and 21 degrees centigrade. Chinchillas can overheat and die at 75 degrees Fahrenheit. They can survive freezing temperatures (32 degrees Fahrenheit/0 degrees centigrade) but should be kept at a comfortable, cool room temperature.

The easiest way to keep your chinchilla's cage at the right temperature is with A/C. But what do I do if my A/C unit fails? Can chinchillas overheat in hot weather, or get too cold in winter? The guide below answers these question, and much more.

Note: if you think your chinchilla has heat stroke, you must take emergency action. Call a vet and follow their advice. This post is for informational purposes—it's long, and if your chinchilla is experiencing conditions that could kill it (which heat stroke can), every minute counts.

How Hot Should a Chinchilla Cage Be?

Chinchillas come from somewhere cool and dry in South America.

Your pet chinchilla should be kept at cool room temperature or below. Experienced owners recommend ranges between 57 and 70 degrees. Some people keep their chinchillas in warmer conditions than this, but chinchillas can die of heat stroke at temperatures of 75 degrees or higher.

The warmer the conditions you keep your chinchillas in, the moer humidity matters. Chins hate high humidity because they come from a cool, dry habitat and need to keep their fur dry. But not only does humid air get fur wet, it also makes it more difficult for your chinchilla to cool down. So, pay attention to that too.

This is a surprisingly divisive topic. Owners disagree about the precise temperature range required; if you don't adhere to those correct temperatures, you might be labelled cruel. But at the same time, it may be next to impossible to meet those requirements in your current living situation (e.g. if you live in a very hot place, if you live with your parents, or if you can't afford constant A/C).

Do Chinchillas Like Hot or Cold?

Chinchillas prefer cold conditions over warm. That's because they developed to live somewhere that can get very cold (the Andes Mountains and the foothills around them). That's why they developed such thick fur.

This is reflected in the pet chinchilla's care requirements. While chinchillas should be kept at roughly room temperature, they can survive cold conditions below freezing easily. But even a short time in full, hot sun can kill a chinchilla.

This is because chinchillas have adaptations that help them in the cold, but cannot adequately thermoregulate in the heat. When it's too cold, a chinchilla can:

Snuggle up against its cagemate

Hide in its hide

Move around to keep warm

But when it's too hot, chinchillas can't cool down. They can't pant effectively, they can't sweat at all, and they can't unzip their fur coat and take it off. That's why you have to be very careful not to let your pets overheat.

What Temperature Is Too Cold for a Chinchilla?

So, chinchillas like it cool, but how cold can chinchillas tolerate? Chinchillas can happily live in temperatures between 50 and 70 degrees Fahrenheit (10 to 21 degrees centigrade). 50 to 55 degrees is the average temperature in the chinchilla's mountainside habitat, so it stands to reason that it will survive this temperature in captivity too. For this reason, 50 degrees/10 degrees centigrade is the lowest that most owners will allow their chinchillas to get.

That being said, chinchillas can also easily survive temperatures lower than this. They can survive at temperatures of freezing and below. But just because they can, doesn't mean they should; you should keep your chinchillas comfortable rather than pushing them to the limit.

Average Chinchilla Body Temperature

Despite being so furry, the chinchilla's average body temperature isn't much different to ours. Vets state that it's between 98.5 and 100.4 degrees Fahrenheit, or 37-39.5 degrees centigrade. This is only slightly warmer than the average human body temperature.

Can Chinchillas Overheat?

Thick chinchilla fur makes your pet overheat. Image courtesy of © Salix / Wikimedia Commons / CC BY-SA 3.0 & GFDL

Chinchillas can easily overheat in direct sunlight because of heat stress. Heat stress is where the body can't get rid of excess heat because of high air temperatures, nearby heat sources radiating their heat, high humidity, exercise or direct physical contact with something hot. Chinchillas are especially susceptible to overheating because of their fur. Heat stress will in turn cause things like heat stroke.

The precise temperature at which overheating sets in depends on your chinchilla. That's because some chinchillas have thicker fur than others. The thicker the fur, the quicker the chinchilla will overheat.

Chinchillas cannot become acclimatized to heat. This is something that some owners believe, but it's wrong. Chinchillas can tolerate temperatures of between 70 and 75 degrees, but could quickly die of heat stroke if they exercise too much or there's a sudden heat spike.

Signs a Chinchilla Is Overheating

There are precious few signs that a chinchilla is overheating. That's because chinchillas are so good at hiding poor health. All the effects of a slight overheating problem are internal; you will only notice that your chinchilla is suffering when it eventually develops heat stroke.

Low level temperature stress will gradually damage your chinchilla's health. That's why people think chinchillas can 'acclimatize' to slightly higher than average temperatures. But just because you can't see damage, doesn't mean it's not there.

Signs a Chinchilla Has Heat Stroke

Heat stroke is what happens when a chinchilla (or any animal) has been too hot for too long. It's where excess heat causes damage to the internal organs, and even the brain, which all begin to shut down. Needless to say, but this is life threatening.

Chinchilla heatstroke causes several changes to behavior and physiology:

Your chinchilla's ears will turn red and veiny. Your pet is pumping blood to its ears. The blood gets close to the surface of the skin, so this is a way of cooling it down slightly. The redness comes from there being lots of blood there. This is easier to spot on chins with lighter ears/fur.

Your chinchilla's breathing changes. It will become much faster (although overheating isn't the only cause of rapid breathing).

Your chinchilla will start to drool.

Your chinchilla stops moving. This is known as lethargy, and it's associated with severe ill health. Your pet may also go unconscious.

Besides this, though, there are many effects you can't see. These all occur inside the internal organs, which get too hot to function. Normal bodily processes cannot continue, which is what eventually leads to death.

Do You Need a Chinchilla Cage Thermometer?

You should ideally have a thermometer set up inside your chinchilla's cage. They're so cheap, and so easy to use, that there's no downside to having one. Place it somewhere your pets can't reach it; attached to the outside is fine, as the temperature will be the same 1/2 an inch outside as it is inside the cage.

Bear in mind that temperature isn't constant, and isn't the same throughout a house. Parts of a room can be several degrees cooler or warmer than your thermostat tells you: windows, appliances, computers, people and residual heat can all affect the ambient temperature to make one corner of the room warmer than the other. So the only way to be sure is with a thermometer.

Your best choice is a digital thermometer. These are typically more accurate, and are easier to read the exact measurements of. Ideally you should get one that's a two-in-one tool: a thermometer and hygrometer combo. Hygrometers measure humidity, which is something else you have to keep in check for your chinchilla's health. High humidity and heat contribute to health issues like respiratory infection.

You can also use your new thermometer to identify the coolest and warmest parts of your house. Place it in each room, and each part of each room, to see where is most suitable. This will help you save on heating or A/C bills. Bear in mind that you should also pick a location that's outside of direct sunlight, won't get too humid, and won't get too loud.

How to Cool a Chinchilla Cage Down

How do I keep my chinchilla cool in hot weather? There are a few ways to do this. This section explores these, plus some things you shouldn't do.

1) Air Conditioning

By far the best way to maintain a steady cool temperature is with air conditioning. If you live somewhere warm, you likely already have some installed anyway. Keep your chinchilla in an air conditioned room with the temperature set to something suitable for them.

Depending on where you live, it may be difficult to keep the temperature within that range at all times. It may mean you have to keep your A/C on 24/7, which while optimal, isn't a realistic solution. If that's the case, consider moving the chinchilla cage to the most suitable part of your home. So for example, if you live in Arizona, keeping your chinchillas in a cool basement would be more economical than running your A/C at full blast all day and night. Other cool places include:

Against outside walls. Walls where the opposite side is outside are cooler.

Somewhere next to a window. Windows let out more heat than wall (although you shouldn't put your chinchilla there if it's a sunny room).

A room that never gets any sun, basement or not. Sunlight warms a room up gradually, and can even make it warmer than outside.

Put your chinchilla's cage somewhere like this.

2) Chinchilla Cool Mat/Chiller Stone

Keeping chinchillas cool without A/C is easy. You just need the right tools and know-how.

On hot days, you can keep your chinchilla cool with a marble or granite slab. You put these in the freezer overnight to chill them down, and take them out whenever your chinchilla's room is too hot. You put them on the floor of your pet's cage and it can stand on it or sit on it if it feels the need to. The most common is the fantastically-named 'Chin-Chiller'.

Because it's made of stone, you can easily wipe one of these slabs clean after it's used. It also doesn't cool down the whole of your pet's cage, which means your chinchilla can regulate its own temperature. That's good because it's possible to cool your pet down too much.

In warm conditions (higher than 70 degrees Fahrenheit/21 degrees centigrade) some owners describe their chinchillas refusing to move off their chiller mats. If your chinchilla does the same, consider moving its cage to somewhere cooler. The chiller mat should only be used in times of need, not as a regular tool.

3) Can You Cool a Chinchilla Down With a Fan?

Your first reaction if your chinchilla overheats is probably to cool it down with a fan. But that's actually a bad idea.

The problem is the way that fans work. The air that a fan blows on you isn't any cooler than the rest of the air in the room. The reason it feels so cold is that the movement of the air makes your sweat evaporate.

So, what's the problem with fans for chinchillas? Chinchillas don't sweat. They evolved not to because a) they need to conserve water in their dry habitat, and b) it would make their dense fur damp. If you pointed a fan at a chinchilla you would make it uncomfortable and do nothing to cool it.

4) Can You Put a Chinchilla in The Fridge to Cool It Down?

You can, but this shouldn't be standard practise. If your chinchilla is getting overheated because of a warm cage or overexertion, you should adjust its environment, not come up with quick 'hacks' to cool it down.

The only instance in which this is suitable is if the chinchilla is completely overheated, and you can't get it to the vet soon enough. If that's the case, you can put it on one of the shelves in your fridge and leave it at sat there. You can also hold your chinchilla in front of the fridge or freezer to cool it down.

Putting it in the freezer could hurt your pet as its feet might stick to the floor. Needless to say, don't shut the fridge door on your pet no matter what. You should also clear out a space in the fridge so it doesn't sit on or pee on your food, and you should clean your fridge afterwards.

5) Cool Water Refills

Chinchillas don't drink often, but will need more water on warm days. You can double the effect by replacing the room temperature water with some that's cooler. This is especially useful because it's allowing your chinchilla to cool down internally, which is more important. Your chinchilla can then regulate its own temperature like it can with a cooling mat.

For best results, replace the water frequently. Do so whenever you notice it's warmed up to room temperature. If you think the water might be too cold, you can always test it. Attach two bottles, one with cool water, one with regular water. Your pets can then pick which one they want to drink from.

You can also use cool water in another way: placing drops of it on your chinchilla's ears. Your chinchilla uses its ears to cool down by pumping more blood to them. Cooling down the surface of your pet's ears with cool water would help it lower its overall body temperature. So long as you don't leave its ears sopping wet, that's not a problem.

6) Ice Shards

Tiny pieces of ice are a cooling treat. Smash up a piece of ice and put it in your chinchilla's cage. Your pets will pick it up and gnaw on it like a snack. This will cool them down internally even more than cool water would. Even if they don't eat the ice, it will cool down the chinchilla cage quite a lot.

Plain ice is best, not flavored with anything, even sugar.

7) Quick Water Bath

If your chinchilla is overheated to the point it may develop heat stroke, you can bathe it in cool water. This should only be done if the situation is an emergency, and only if you know what you're doing, otherwise you could make things worse by cooling your chinchilla down too much.

You don't want the water to be too cold. It doesn't need to be, so you don't need to add ice or anything like that. It just has to get your chinchilla's temperature down to a more suitable level. A chinchilla's core body temperature needs to be 100 degrees, but it also shouldn't go too low. A bath of 60-70 degrees for a few minutes would cool it down enough.

Once your chinchilla is cooled down, you must dry it as soon as possible. Otherwise it would cool down too much and die from the cold, even if it's a hot day. You should towel dry your chinchilla gently until it's mostly dry, then blow dry it on a cool setting. Finish off by giving it a dust bath to completely wick any remaining moisture from its fur.

How to Keep a Chinchilla Cage Warm

It's unlikely, but a chinchilla's cage could be too cold. If it does, there are ways to warm them up. But some of them are more trouble than they're worth...

Do You Need a Heat Lamp for a Chinchilla Cage?

A heat lamp is like a light bulb, but which is designed to give off more heat than light. Some are ceramic while others look like normal bulbs. Either way, they give off heat over a large area. Chinchillas don't need these unless you have a very specific breeding setup.

Do You Need Heat Mats for a Chinchilla Cage?

Heat mats plug into mains electricity and sit underneath pet cages/enclosures. They provide a heat source for animal that need belly heat. These would be better than a heat lamp as the heat is local to one area, but still, your chinchilla shouldn't need one.

How DO You Keep a Chinchilla Cage Warm?

You don't need to keep a chinchilla cage warm. If your chinchilla's cage is somewhere that needs to be warmed up, move it somewhere else. Any room inside a house should be fine, so long as the cage isn't in direct sunlight or a cold draft. Basements, attics and bedrooms are all fine if the conditions are right.

Many chinchilla ranches operate in barns that aren't connected to a house. These have dedicated systems (A/C or heating) to maintain a steady room temperature. The precise setup may vary as breeders aren't big companies—just people who like chinchillas. You could have a thermostat that has heat lamps or heating that kicks in when temperatures are low, and A/C when it's high. But if you're planning on running your own ranch, we recommend talking to expert breeders first to learn everything you need to know.

Other than all that, there isn't much you need to know. Stick to good care guidelines and monitor your pets' health constantly to pick up on any issues before they get bad. It's as easy as that.

Below, you can find our chinchilla quiz, new posts for further reading, and a signup for our Chinchilla Newsletter!

#chinchillas #chinchillacare

[thecoroutfitters]

With summer comes great joy, but great dangers also lurk around almost every corner. Okay, the situation may not be as dramatic as I describe it, but the thing is, summer’s heat waves do present a clear and present danger to one’s health, especially in a survival situation.

The thing with summer is that almost all of us are gearing up for going out and experiencing epic adventures. Summer is vacation season and the best time of the year for businesses such as water parks, hot air balloon rides, bungee jumping resorts, para-sailing docks, and so on and so forth.

You see where this is going, right? Keep reading to find out!

Well, while you’re standing in line at any of these fine establishments, the thought that goes through your mind is probably, “This is how I’m going to die?”

Truth be told, this pessimistic state of mind is the logical consequence of years of horror stories pushed by the mainstream media, depicting terrifying accidents and misfortunes that people suffered during their summer holiday.

People died in all sorts of gruesome circumstances while having the time of their lives, i.e. when their hot-air balloon drifted into high-power lines, their parachute failed or their boat flipped at high speeds or on rushing rivers. Folks died or lost limbs while enjoying the ultimate ride at amusement parks or when hiking without proper training/guidance etc.

The nightmarish stories of good times gone bad go on and on.

And then there’s always death from exposure. To give you a grim statistic, heat exposure kills thirty outdoor workers on average on a yearly basis.

What we’re about talking here are agricultural, roofing, construction and landscaping workers; these folks are particularly at risk, especially during heat waves which promote heat-related deaths and illnesses such as heat stroke and heart attacks.

How will you survive when there is no doctor around? 

Keep in mind that the elderly are particularly affected by heat waves and in some geographical locations (like Arizona), air conditioning is not a luxury, but a necessity.

#1 Killer in the Summer Is…

So, let’s begin with the biggest killer during the summer season, which is heat, obviously.

Prolonged exposure to heat – especially humid heat – would have immediate effects on one’s health and state of mind alike. Heat stroke and heat exhaustion are the most common issues associated with scorching heat, but sometimes the effects of prolonged exposure to excessive heat may take odd forms.

The most important thing one must realize during the summer is that dehydration is a killer. To stay properly hydrated, you should drink at least 2 liters of water per day (or approximately half a gallon), but that’s an average figure and it depends upon your age, gender, physical condition, and circumstances.

For example, you’ll require way more than 2 liters of water per day if you’re hiking in scorching heat or if you’re working out, rather than staying indoors in a house without air conditioning etc. That’s common sense, though.

If you don’t drink enough water to replace the loss of fluids which occurs via sweating, you’ll put your body in a state of emergency, as your body is losing salt and water and not getting enough electrolytes.

Salt, magnesium, and potassium imbalances caused by dehydration may cause cramps, cardiac arrhythmia, dizziness, and confusion – basically your brain doesn’t work right.

For people who aren’t used to heat, there’s also always the risk of heat edema and, worst case scenario, a fatal heat stroke when your body gives up and stops sweating. This occurs when you’re exposed to extreme heat for long periods of time and is called anhidrosis.

However, the most common problem that occurs during a summer heat wave is heat exhaustion.

Heat exhaustion is a consequence of one’s body losing significant amounts of salt and water; sans electrolytes, the body can’t cope with heat anymore. Salt and potassium are the two primary minerals that control your blood pressure and when you sweat, they’re two of the first that you lose.

Obviously, heat exhaustion and all heat related ailments are particularly dangerous in a survival situation, i.e. when you’re outdoors hiking, climbing, or whatever.

Heat exhaustion’s first symptom is when the core temperature rising above 98.6, your normal body temperature, resulting in intense thirst, heavy sweating, dizziness, and an overwhelming feel of fatigue. Your body is literally starting to cook.

The first thing that you need to do is get out of the heat if possible and hydrate, obviously. Avoid strenuous activities during the day in open sunny spots, especially if there’s a heat-wave warning.

Now, if heat exhaustion sets in, you must find a cool, shaded location and remove the victim’s clothes, including (especially) the shoes and socks then, apply wet clothes to the victim’s  face, head, neck, and if possible, their feet.

Spray with cool water if possible. Encourage the victim to drink as much water as possible. Sport drinks (if available) are great, as they contain minerals and vitamins (the famous electrolytes included) together with sugar, which gives the body a boost but push water, too.

Try to get medical aid as soon as possible, especially if you spot the early signs of a heat stroke (way worse than heat exhaustion), which include:

profuse sweating or hot,

dry skin,

a core temperature of around 104 degrees F (or higher),

feeling cold (yes, it seems strange, but it’s a fact),

loss of consciousness, and/or seizures.

All of these symptoms are signaling that the body’s mechanisms for coping with heat have failed and he/she’s at the death’s door. Heat strokes are very serious as they have a mortality rate of about ten percent, and yes, people really do die in extreme heat conditions, and it’s not rare.

Most people who die during heat waves are elderly folk living in big cities in the upper floors of buildings, especially old, inadequately ventilated condo buildings. Just in the US, over 600 people die annually and thousands visit emergency rooms due to extreme heat conditions.

Since we’ve already established that heat is a silent killer, as the weather gets more extreme, avoid the main danger by staying out of the sun. If you’re outdoors on foot, avoid traveling during the day, and do it by night, like Bedouins.

If you find yourself traveling or lost in the wilds in the heat, drinking lots of water and covering your head and your entire body in white (best case scenario) sheets would go a long way toward preserving your body’s reserve of electrolytes if traveling during the day.

The rule of the thumb is that when your core temperature gets above 104 degrees Fahrenheit, you’re in serious trouble.

Obese and elderly people are especially vulnerable to heat, and small children have tiny hearts which are not always capable of cooling their bodies efficiently. Kids also have a slow sweat response, which puts them in danger in extreme situations.

And here are a few more hints on surviving the heat:

try to avoid caffeine and alcoholic beverages (they act as diuretics) during heat waves,

maintain a proper level of hydration at all times,

when indoors, try to eliminate extra sources of heat (computers and appliances left running, computers, etc.),

don’t eat big, protein-rich meals as they warm the body by increasing metabolic heat, be ready to recognize the early symptoms of heat exhaustion and heat stroke and take action.

Beware the Dangers in the Water!

Another thing to keep in mind during the hot summer season is that jumping in public swimming pools, lakes and ponds are not the best ideas for beating the heat wave. You should think at least twice before diving in these cesspools, which are giant petri dishes by any definition, leaving aside that going into cold water when you body is overheated can bring on a heart attack.

Even chlorinated swimming pools are filled with chlorine-resistant bacteria (think Cryptosporidium, a bacteria living in the stomach, E.coli etc.) which can cause all sorts of disease, especially for people with immune issues.

Freshwater lakes and rivers are also home to a myriad of bacteria, viruses, and amoebas. All these tiny bugs that flourish in warm water may cause diarrhea and vomiting, which are exacerbating the dangers of dehydration, if you catch my drift.

And with dehydration, heat exhaustion and heat stroke are just around the corner, provided you don’t deal with it immediately. It doesn’t take more than a few minutes – less than 30 – for the situation to go from bad to worse if the conditions are right.

Besides the relatively harmless e Coli and Cryptosporidium, there are killer bacteria and viruses in lakes and rivers, which can infect you via water getting inside the nasal passage and then to the brain.

For example, Naegleria fowleri can cause a deadly infection of your CNS (central nervous system), called amoebic meningo-encephalitis.

There are dangers in paradise too, especially during the summer season when these places are packed full of people trying to relax and enjoy their vacations.

When Summer Turns into Disaster

The beach may look like paradise on Earth, but it’s not all fun and serenity. Beaches are also filled with dangers, and we’re not talking about heat stroke alone. Coastal areas in some parts of the planet are prone to tsunamis and others to hurricanes.

One may say that beaches are prime real estate when it comes to natural disasters, hence, stay frosty and learn your escape routes just in case disaster hits. Most coastal areas are using early warning systems including sensors which monitor storm and earthquake activity and issue hurricane/tsunami alerts.

Toxic algal blooms happen almost every summer in places like Florida, on its Gulf Coast especially. Algal blooms kill fish and shellfish and they also render them unsafe to eat. Remember to avoid eating shellfish and fish from areas affected by toxic algal blooms; also, avoid swimming in waters infested by these critters.

Even if shark attacks are relatively rare, keep in mind that where there are fish in the ocean, there also might be sharks, hence avoid swimming near fishing areas and also avoid murky waters and areas were fishing boats and diving sea birds abound.

It’s also important to remember not to swim alone, sharks or not, and never at dawn or dusk because that’s when sharks feed. Watches and jewelry gleam like fish scales in the water, so get rid of them.

Another danger for beach goers is rip currents, which may pull even the Olympic swimming champion away from the shore. These fast-moving currents of water kill at least one hundred people annually, especially at surf beaches, and those are just US figures.

If you’re caught in such a rip current, try not to fight it. Go with the current and swim parallel to the beach, and try to swim back to shore once you manage to pull out of the current. If that doesn’t do the job, try to float/tread water until the current stops and try to call for help.

Edge Sports Have Their Price

Parasailing is an awesome summer activity for thousands of Americans. If you’re not from this planet, parasailing means that you’re towed behind a boat using a parachute canopy while flying like Superman.

Even though this may sound safe as far as extreme sports go, the majority of fatal parasailing accidents occur as a result of high wind conditions. To play it safe, make sure the weather is friendly before engaging in such crazy activities, alright?

Scuba diving is another all-time favorite activity doing the summer season, but is plunging in deep blue waters safe? Well, pretty much yes, but there are caveats to that.

The most common causes of death during scuba diving are oxygen supply problems, cardiac issues, and emergency ascent. To play it safe when scuba diving, make sure you are prepared for the water and you’ve learned all the techniques from your instructor.

Next on the list is skydiving. Skydiving is immensely fun for those crazy bastards with no self-preservation instincts. I’m kidding, but yes, skydiving is becoming increasingly popular among certain folk during summer vacation.

Even though you’re more susceptible to death by a lightning strike or a bee sting than due to skydiving gone wrong, make sure to look for riggers, jumpers and pilots with proper certification before making the big jump into the abyss. The same goes for bungee jumping.

White water rafting is another dangerous summer activity and there are tons of potential hazards involved in this awesome water sport. To reduce risks associated with white water rafting, never boat alone, wear a life jacket and a helmet at all times, and don’t overestimate your skills.

If you’re a hot air balloon aficionado, make sure your ‘ballooner” has all the necessary paperwork and be aware of adverse weather conditions, especially wind, before getting in the basket.

Whatever you do during summer, stay safe and be aware of the dangers. Ultimately, learn your lesson about first aid and surviving without medical assistance. Click the banner below to get the knowledge!

I hope the article helped. If you have other ideas or comments, feel free to use the dedicated section below!

from Survivopedia Don't forget to visit the store and pick up some gear at The COR Outfitters. How prepared are you for emergencies? #SurvivalFirestarter #SurvivalBugOutBackpack #PrepperSurvivalPack #SHTFGear #SHTFBag

[mangokiwitropicalswirl]

On the 10th Day of Christmas...

1. One Fancy FBI Ball  / 2. Two Women, One Man. Trouble / 3. Three Final Words / 4. A Dance in Four-Four Time / 5. Five White Berries/ 6.Six Degrees Fahrenheit / 7. Seven Dollar Cocoa / 8. Eight Ways of Looking at a Kiss / 9. Nine Missing Minutes

10. Tenth Time’s a Charm

Once arriving at the hospital, after hurling some cash at the cabbie, Scully expedites the intake process through a forceful deployment of her badge and a few strategic shouts of, “I’m a medical doctor!”

Within 20 minutes, Mulder is in for a CT scan and she paces the hallway nervously, nearly slipping on her heels a half-dozen times.  

“Mrs. Mulder?” A lab tech pokes his head out of the exam room doors. She doesn’t respond until he repeats it loudly in her direction. “Mrs. Mulder, would you be more comfortable in the waiting room? He’ll be a few more minutes.”

“I'm AGENT Scully,” she barks. “And no, thank you, I’d like you to let me in there. I’m a medical doctor.”

“Excuse me, ma’am, I thought,” the tech looks at her long coat, buttons undone to reveal her now-wrinkled red gown, her smudged lipstick and strappy heels. “Forgive me, I assumed…”.

“I assume you need to monitor that machine,” Scully nods toward the glass window beyond which Mulder lies immobilized while the computers register a cross section of his brain.

She watches as the screens generate the colored images that remind her so much of her own hospitalizations, and all the other traumas they’ve endured during their partnership. She stands behind the technician and begins to breathe more evenly as the scans appear to all effects, normal. Though a specialist will need to review them, from what she can see, there’s no significant trauma.

“What room will he be in?” she asks the tech.

“Why don’t you go wait and I’ll send someone for you as soon as we’ve moved him,” he replies.

Though she doesn’t want to leave him, she has to admit it will feel good to sit down for a few minutes, so she makes her way down to the softly lit waiting area and collapses into a plush armchair.

She doesn’t remember dozing off, but some time later, a young admitting nurse is tapping her on the shoulder. “Mrs. Scully,” she says softly, “we’ve moved your husband to observation, if you want to see him now.”

“Huh,” Scully mumbles still half-asleep, “Uh, he’s not my husband.”

“I’m sorry, your boyfriend?” The nurse looks apologetic and embarrassed.

Scully tries to reach for her badge before realizing this whole conversation is just slowing things down. With a deep sigh, she rises. “What room?”

The nurse leads her down the hall and eases open the door to where Mulder lays propped up on a pile of pillows. Scully rushes past the nurse and strides toward the bed. In her hurry, she misses the way Mulder’s eyes widen at the sight of her in her elegant dress, despite how unkempt she’s now feeling. He looks her slowly up and down, swallowing a gulp as she bends to adjust the bed, her breasts plumping over the scooping neckline as she leans toward him.

“How are you feeling, Mulder?” She is assessing his vision now, holding a finger out in front of him and moving it side to side. “You look flushed. Have they given you anything to drink?” She reaches to hand him a plastic jug full of ice chips on the tray next to him.

“I, um,” he stutters, still taken aback by her appearance, “I think I’m okay. But I’m a little confused.”

“Do you remember anything more?” She raises her eyebrows hopefully.

“I’m remembering that today was the FBI social.” He begins. “And from what I can see from the way we are dressed, we must have attended.”

“But nothing else?” She probes further.

“I have a few flashes of images, but can’t seem to put it all together,” he shrugs. “Did we, um, did we dance?”

Scully blushes a little and drops her gaze. “Yes. Yes we did.”

She sits down on the edge of Mulder’s bed and reaches for his chart. Flipping through it, she reviews the initial assessment. “I don’t see any reason for memory loss, Mulder. You probably have a concussion, but it doesn’t seem likely that would be significant enough for this level of amnesiac event.”

Mulder falls silent again as his eyes trace up the sinuous curve of her bare legs, along the creeping hem of her skirt and flitter over the white expanse of her upper chest that’s exposed beneath her open coat. She flips back and forth through the pages for a few moments as Mulder watches her. If he didn’t know better, he would say she seems nervous or out-of-her element, but hospitals and medical lingo are Scully’s native habitat. Still, she seems distracted and even through the haze of his throbbing headache, he begins looking for clues.

First, her hair seems mussed and her lipstick is mostly gone. He leans a little closer to her on the bed even as she avoids making eye contact, intent on the notes of his chart. He swears he can see her flush as his forearm presses against her back. Beneath the oppressive smell of hospital bleach, he catches a whiff of perfume and something muskier, oddly familiar but enticing.

And then he sees it, a few tell-tale purple blossoms along the column of her neck, more noticeable as she blushes at the pressure of his torso leaning closer to her in the bed.

“Scully?” He interrupts what appears to be her 10th review of his chart. “Um, this is a little awkward to have to ask, but, um, did we do more than dance?”

“What makes you think that?” Scully turns toward him, trying to feign innocence and failing miserably.

“Well, there are a few clues,” he smiles, his voice deepening, “But if I was able to make it through a whole night next to you dressed in that dress and not make a move, you might as well leave me for dead in this hospital bed right now.”

She blushes again and ducks her head. “There might have been some kissing,” she says quietly.

“Oh my god,” Mulder groans and drops his head into his hands, “You cannot tell me I don’t even remember our first kiss!”

“First, yes,” she gulps and pauses before adding with a smile, “and second, and, um, quite a few after that.”

“Oh God!,” Mulder’s groans deepen as he buries his face deeper into his hands.

“If it’s any consolation, I certainly won’t forget it.” She sets the chart down at the foot of the bed and turns toward him, smoothing an arm down over his hunched shoulder. Her other hand pulls his hands away from his face and coaxes him to sit up. She threads her fingers through his and squeezes tightly. “I’ll just have to help you remember.”

Mulder’s eyes widen as Scully leans slowly toward him, a never-before-seen mischievous look in her eye. He makes a mental note to remember as much as he can of what’s happening, determined to imprint the memory of her lips against his for this first time so that it’ll take more than a little concussion to knock the sensation out of him. Before their mouths can make contact, however, there’s the creak of door hinges and the rustle of scrubs.

“Mr. and Mrs. Mulder, nice to meet you both. I’m Doctor Zimmerman. How are we doing this evening?”

[ellymackay]

Building a Better Brain Through Sleep

The following blog post Building a Better Brain Through Sleep was first published to www.ellymackay.com

When we think of quality sleep, we typically think of it in relation to how it helps our body recover from a long day — and with good reason.

As I’ve talked about before, a good night’s sleep can work wonders for the body, whether it’s alleviating severe back pain or helping you bounce back from a tiring gym session.

(You can find out the best time for your body to work out by finding out your chronotype. If you don’t already know it, it’s easy to learn by taking this quiz: www.chronoquiz.com.)

But consistent, uninterrupted sleep goes beyond preserving and improving your body. Just as importantly, a good night’s sleep is essential when it comes to building a better and healthier brain.

Sleep plays a key role in memory retention, alertness, and improved creativity, among other benefits. These benefits apply to any age group.

Let’s run through a number of ways sleep helps improve your brain.

But first, keep in mind that you want to stay cool during the night. Research has shown between 60 and 67 degrees Fahrenheit is ideal for sleep. To regulate your body temperature during the night, I recommend Cool Jams, which, thanks to their moisture-wicking technology and lightweight fabric, are designed to keep you from getting too hot or too cold in bed. Keeping your body temperature low maximizes your time in bed by letting you reach REM sleep quicker — and helps you enjoy the brain boost that comes with it.

Alright, here are 3 ways your brain benefits from a good night’s sleep.

Sleep Improves Your Memory

Your memory is directly connected to your sleep habits.

When you receive new information, your brain needs time for it to completely “stick” and become something you easily recall. This process, called “memory consolidation,” is when what we’ve learned shifts from short-term to long-term memory. And research indicates memory consolidation benefits from sleep.

One example: In a study published in the Journal of Neuroscience, participants were asked to memorize 15 cards with pictures of animals and different objects. They were then asked to memorize a slightly different batch of cards. Some of the participants were then allowed to sleep, while others were asked to stay up before being tested on how well they memorized the cards.

The group that was allowed to sleep performed much better — remembering 85% of the first batch of cards compared to only 60% for those who weren’t allowed to sleep.

The simple explanation is that while you’re awake, you continue to be inundated with new information that can dislodge what you just learned. But sleep improves memory by acting as an instant replay machine, allowing the mind to review what it’s learned during the day. Brain scans show the cerebellum, which controls short-term memory, is more active when sleeping. By getting a full night of sleep, your brain has more time to reinforce what it has just learned.

Sleep Deprivation Hurts Your Ability to Focus

Pulling an all-nighter and cramming before a big test is a college staple. But knowing what we know about the brain, it probably isn’t worth it.

Not only does sleep help you memorize what you learned, as we just mentioned, but it also improves your focus. Simply put: your brain doesn’t fire on all cylinders when it’s tired.

The billions of neural cells working in our heads, helping us make decisions, process information and focus, are compromised by a lack of sleep. Sleep deprivation, a team of UCLA researchers found, hampers our brain cells’ ability to work together. As one researcher put it, neural cells “responded slowly, fired more weakly and their transmissions dragged on longer than usual” for sleep deprived participants.

Your capacity for learning new information also suffers, with research suggesting you retain 40% less information when sleep deprived.

A lack of sleep hurts your ability to concentrate on the task at hand. To perform your best at work or school, a full night of sleep is critical.

A Good Night’s Sleep Boosts Creativity

Your ability to think outside the box, it turns out, is helped by getting good sleep.

Sleep helps with creativity, but reaching REM sleep is the key.

During non-REM sleep, which takes up about the first 90 minutes of your time sleeping, your brain is still wired to think literally; it’s also taking snapshots of memories and thoughts you had during the day, creating an inventory for your brain.

Later, during REM sleep, is when your brain removes the safety rails and starts to think abstractly. This period is when acetylcholine, a chemical that acts as a messenger between cells, floods the brain. When this happens, the brain starts searching for connections between unrelated ideas it’s already banked. This can lead to that “a-ha!” moment you sometimes have when you wake up after an important thought comes to you while you were asleep.

Research also shows REM sleep helps people perform better at tests that require creative thinking. One study from Harvard University showed participants who completed REM sleep performed about 30% better on anagram word puzzles than when they didn’t get a good night of sleep.

Remember, One thing that can block you from entering REM sleep as fast as possible is blue light, which radiates from your phones and other electronic devices. Staying off your phone an hour before bed will help you fall asleep quicker, but I know that’s easier said than done.

To offset the negative effects of blue light, be sure to check out my specially-designed Sleep Doctor Glasses. These glasses are great for reading on your computer or phone because they block out blue light — helping you get better sleep as a result. They also look pretty cool, too, and come in several different designs.

How You Can Help Your Brain Improve Through Sleep

The verdict is in: Sleep improves your brain in several ways. To enjoy those benefits, though, the first step is making sure you’re getting enough sleep. Be sure to check out my sleep calculator post — it should help you figure out when you need to go to sleep to get the 7.5 hours of sleep you’ll need to properly rest your brain.

And remember, bedroom temperature is critical. If your room is too hot, you’ll likely end up waking up during the night, making it tough to really give your brain the boost it needs from sleep. To keep your bed cool, I’m a big fan of the ChiliPad. It’s a water-based hydronic mattress pad with a temperature range from 55 to 115 degrees Fahrenheit, allowing you to pick the perfect temperature for when you’re dozing off.

A good night’s sleep is just as important for making sure you’re ready for a big day at the office as it is for if you’re preparing to run a 10K. Do yourself — and your brain — a favor and make sleep a priority. That’s all for this week, talk to you soon!

The post Building a Better Brain Through Sleep appeared first on Your Guide to Better Sleep.

from Your Guide to Better Sleep https://thesleepdoctor.com/2020/02/08/building-a-better-brain-through-sleep/

from Elly Mackay - Feed https://www.ellymackay.com/2020/02/09/building-a-better-brain-through-sleep/

[timelxrd-victorious]

Some of my favorite things about Gallifreyan physiology

because there’s far more to Gallifreyan Time Lord internal anatomy than two hearts and the ability to regenerate

their skin smells like honey

core body temperature of 15 degrees Celsius (~60 degrees Fahrenheit) and capable of dropping to below-freezing temperatures 

they have two more ribs than humans (26 compared to a human’s 24)

they’re touch-telepaths and Time Lords have a reflex link which allows them to join the entire Time Lord hivemind intelligentsia as one

Gallifreyan brains are much larger than human brains with an extra brain lobe specifically used for mechanical and other bodily functions; their larger brain sizes make it impossible for brain transplants between humans and Gallifreyans

Gallifreyans have complete control over their eyes, to the point that their retinas are basically sentient (no, really)

On Gallifrey, the retina had almost replaced the fingers as the main method of communicating with machines. The human eye was not so sophisticated, just an aerial, a dish of light‐ sensitive cells shunting their observations through the blind spot. The brain had to do all of the processing, flipping the image the right way up, making sense of the movement, the shapes, the narrow range of colours. But the Time Lord retina could do a reasonable amount of thinking on its own. This could be annoying when one was trying to sleep, but it was the ideal means of talking to a computer – as well as a built‐ in identity check. —Seeing I, Jonathan Blum & Kate Orman

their eyes also do the eyeshine-in-the-dark thing that feline, canine, and equine eyes do

their blood is red-orange, has healing properties, and doesn’t even look like blood under a microscope

Gallifreyans don’t have lungs; instead they have a series of pulmonary tubes and have a respiratory bypass that when activated allows them to breathe through their skin (the pulmonary tubes also make them incredibly buoyant so good luck trying to drown one)

they’re immune to the effects of helium gas, but are susceptible to the effects of mustard gas and can be killed if they’re given anesthetic and aspirin 

they’re not intoxicated by alcohol, but can get drunk on ginger

for internal organs: they have two of everything humans have one of, four of everything humans have two of, and internal organs with no analogue in humans

[surveystodestressme]

160.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 37

3501. Is ‘no glove, no love’ your STRICT policy?

i mean, no.  i’m on the pill so i don’t really care

3502. What is the best Epic movie (examples of epics: ben-her, gone with the wind, last temptation of christ)?

oh i don’t know

3503. Finish the sentence.

Hey, Hey we’re the: people.

People say we: suck

But we’re too busy: fucking

The time to hesitate is: never

You’re too: weak

It’s a nice day to: fuck

3504. Have you ever had 'missing time’?

i don’t even know what that means

3505. Have you ever sent an electronic greeting?

i don’t think so

3506. If you could send anonymous tips to people you knew who would never ever find out who sent them who would you send the following tips to?

doesn’t know when to leave: my mom

poor crotch hygiene: uhhh.. i don’t know

talks too much: an old co-worker

band/art/dream is going nowhere: hannah

most likely to get arrested: my brother

needs to get their life together: andy

bad taste in clothes: i don’t know

bad taste in music: paul

needs a hobby: mariann

3507. Are you more likely to download porn or disney movies?

porn

3508. What is it with people?

who knows.

3509. Do you eat too much sugar?

i don’t think so

3510. Imagine you have a band. Let’s name your band.

Adjective:

Animal(plural):

Your band name is (adjective) (animals) Under Glass!

Could be better?

Let’s try again.

Adjective:

Noun (plural):

Your band is (adjective) (nouns) With Puppets

3511. Are you desperate but not serious?

not really.

3512. Was there a time when you were younger and it took less to get you excited?

yeah definitely

What did it take then?

anything really

What does it take now?

study stuff usually.

3513. Remember learning to write in elementary school?

uh huh

We spend 2 years learning to print..then they throw that out the window and teach kids cursive. Why?

because it’s important too

If cursive is so important and easy to read then why aren’t books printed in cursive?

some of them are, actually

Why aren’t cursive computer fonts more popular?

it looks more professional when things are written/typed in cursive so i think more professional websites or books are cursive probably

Why do business forms always say 'please print’?

sometimes cursive is hard to read

Schools are so preoccupied with teaching kids the complicated but traditional skill of cursive writing that more emphasis is put on that than on teaching kids how to clearly express their ideas through writing. I move that cursive writing become a jr. high school elective instead of a grammar school priority. Who’s with me?

i don’t really care either way.  i don’t even think they teach cursive anymore

3514. Can you think of anything else (besides cursive writing) that is unhelpful, yet traditional and unquestioned? What?

religion

3515. Name one female celebrity who you would guess wears size ___ clothing:

0?

5?

12?

16?

20?

3516. Have you ever been to a place where the restrooms were named in a clever way rather than just saying men’s and woman’s? I’ve seen Hens and Roosters, Bart and Lisa, Dudes and Babes…what have you seen?

i’ve seen stuff like that, but i can’t name any right now

3517. What is the 'message’ or 'point behind’:

Fight Club? to fight? idfk

Donnie Darko? people are fucked up

AI?

Minority Report?

Solaris?

A Walk to Remember? you never know where you can find love.

You’ve Got Mail?

3518. have you seen, and what are your thoughts about these movies:

Drumline?

The Hot Chick? lol a classic comedy, i love this movie

Maid in Manhattan?

Star Trek: Nemesis?

About Schmidt?

Evelyn?

The Guys?

Intacto?

The Jimmy Show?

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers? it’s ok

Gangs of New York?

Two Weeks Notice?

The Wild Thornberrys Movie? i used to love the show but i don’t know if i’ve ever seen the movie or not

Smokers Only?

Treasure Planet?

The Santa Clause 2?

3519. START this sentence: ….and I think to myself, what a wonderful world.“

-

3520. What is:

insanity?

normal?

Fahrenheit? a temperature

3521. Tell us about yourself in the third person for a bit:

no.

3522. If someone breaks a law, should they be punished if they did not know it was a law?

yes.  they should be educated on the laws

3523. If it’s so much easier to learn languages when we are very young (and it is, something to do with the developing brain) why do they wait until jr high and high school to teach them?

that’s just how it is.  idk if parents wanted their kids to learn other languages when they were younger then maybe they’d teach them themselves or give them books or something

3524. Name a band you sort of like:

journey

You are wearing that band’s t-shirt in a store. SUDDENLY some guy you don’t know comes up to you and goes, "Hey! You like (insert name of the band here)??!!”

This is obviously a really stupid question because if you didn’t like them you wouldn’t be wearing the t-shirt. Your witty reply is:

yes

3525. If you were organizing cd’s in a music store what section would you put each of the following in (don’t forget the 'bargain bin’ section!):

Blink182 top hits

Depech Mode

Weezer top hits

Led Zeppelin

The Doors

Avril Lavigne 2000s hits

Nelly r&b

Manfred Mann

Iggy Pop

Pink Floyd

Guns N Roses

Shakira pop

Britny Spears pop

Tool

Ozzy Osbourne bargain

Madonna

The Rolling Stones classic

The Beatles classic

Motley Crue classic

Bon Jovi classic

3526. Does coffee stimulate your mind or body more?

body.

3527. Can you do 'six degrees of separation’ to anyone famous?

i don’t even know what that means

3528. What’s the oddest thing in your home?

idk.

3529. Do you find it odd when people who are not handicapped use the handicapped stall:

in the bathroom? no because sometimes at a workplace some people don’t have employee restrooms and may need to change or something and sometimes mothers go into the bathroom with their children, or if all the other stalls are full and someone really has to go to the bathroom.  so some circumstances are okay. 

in the parking lot? i’m not ok with this.

3530. Do you sometimes find yourself talking to yourself? Do you answer yourself back?

i talk to myself sometimes and occasionally answer back

3531. In your head do you call yourself 'I’ or 'you’ or both?

both.

3532. What is the best excuse for why you haven’t done your homework?

i didn’t feel like it

3533. Someone tells you 'well there are black people, and then there are n*ggers’. What do you think?

yeah that’s ignorant. 

3534. Does culture shape behavior or does behavior shape culture?

culture shapes behavior

3535. What determines whether a person will be:

intelligent? put in some work

pretty? genetics

happy? positivity

successful? hardworking.

3536. What is social loafing? What is groupthink?

i have no idea

3537. I have an idea. let’s change the english language by making the words fewer, shorter and more concise. What do ya think?

no.

3538. What are the physical symptoms of:

joy? involuntary smiles.

fear? it’s all in the eyes.

shame? blushing

3539. Here’s the scenerio…your little eight year old brother is hangin out in the house when you come in..and catch him watching the playboy channel!

What do you do/say?

i walk away

He says, “Why can’t I watch this?” What is your response?

i don’t care and walk away because he’s my brother not my child

Why do you respond that way?

bc i don’t care

3540. Who REALLY has a higher sex drive, girls or guys? How can you tell?

it usually depends on the age and the individual

3541. are you usually carefree?

most of the time

3542. Do you generally prefer reading to meeting people?

yes

3543. Do you often long for excitement?

sometimes

3544. Are you mostly quiet when you are with others?

usually, yes

3545. Do you often do things spur of the moment?

nope

3546. Are you slow an unhurried in the way you move?

i don’t think so, quite the opposite actually

3547. Would you do almost anything for a dare?

sometimes

3548. Do you hate being in a crowd who plays jokes on one another?

i don’t really care

3549. Do you enjoy wild parties?

on occasion

3550. Have you ever paid for something priced more than $5.00 in only change?

probably once or twice before

3551. Is racism still a big part of our culture?

sadly, yes.

3552. A drawing was shown to a person. The drawing showed a black man in a business suit standing next to a white man holding a razor. The person who saw this drawing was white and was asked to describe it to a second white person who had not seen it, who described it to a third, and so on. By the end of six rounds the final report often placed the razor in the hand of the black man and it is claimed he is waving it threateningly. What do you think of this?

i don’t really have an opinion

3553. How many famous people can you name who committed suicide?

too many honestly

3554. Do you have OCD?

no.

3555. Are you more anxious or relaxed? anxious.

Insecure or secure? secure

Sociable or with drawn? more withdrawn probably

Original or conventional? original.

3556. Are you more emotional or calm? emotional

self pitying or content? content.

Fun loving or sober? fun loving.

Imaginative or down to earth? a little bit of both, i think.

3557. Are you more Friendly or aloof? friendly.

adventurous or cautious? adventurous

Broad or narrow when it comes to interests? broad.

receptive or closed to new ideas? receptive.

3558. Are you more good natured or irritable? ehhh a mix

soft hearted or ruthless? soft hearted

well organized or disorganized? pretty well organized.

Dependable or undependable? dependable.

3559. Are you more courteous or rude? courteous.

sympathetic or tough minded? sympathetic.

hardworking or lazy? lazy.

ambitious or easy going? easy going.

Anxiety Insecurity Emotionalism and Self Pity are traits of a neurotic personality.

Sociable, fun loving, friendly and adventurous are traits of an extroverted personality.

originality, imaginative, broad interests, and receptive are traits of an Open personality.

Good natured, soft hearted, courteous, and sympathetic are traits of an agreeable personality.

Well organized, dependable, hardworking and ambitious are traits of a conscientious personality.

3560. Do men and woman have little or a lot in common?

depends

3561. Do you feel like any of the teachers you’ve ever had have REALLY cared about educating you to think for yourself?

very few of them, but yeah

Do you tend to try harder if they DO care?

yes.

3562. Have you ever been stereotyped? As what?

yes

3563. Have you ever been discriminated against? For what?

yes

3564. How often is your school and/or job closed due to weather?

not anymore, at least not for a while

3565. Who do you know that you believe does not masturbate?

i have some friends that said they’ve never done it but idk

3566. Does a cloned human being have a soul? Why or why not?

uhhh yeah, i’d say that eventually they become their own person and become a separate being from that of the person they were cloned from

3567. Finish the sentence: As the world turns..I only have one concern…that:

idk.

3568. What group in history has been the most oppressed?

a lot of different groups

3569. Have you read any biographies? Whose?

yes, plenty of them

3570. What are you obsessed with?

sleep.

3571. Break out your decoder ring..(no hints this time)! t3ii9 8 i9f3 697 29h5 697 53ii j3 6974 hqj3?

no.

3572. Do you crack your:

knuckes?

neck?

back?

other? yes to all.

3573. Of the following powers which 2 would you pick for yourself? The ability to fly, breathe under water, turn invincible, change into animals, freeze and restart time, never gain weight unless you want to, heal people with your touch, have orgasms that last for an hour

never gain weight and breathing under water

3574. Do you chew your pencils and pens?

i put them in my mouth but i don’t chew on them

3575. Can you tell the exact point where your back ends and your butt begins?

yes

3576. When you are bored do you picture everyone around you naked?

no? lol that’s weird

3577. What are some great holiday gift ideas for

guys: socks, underwear, tools

girls: clothes, shoes, makeup, perfume

3578. Who looks better naked, men or woman?

women for sure lol

3579. Do you sit in chairs or fall into them?

a little bit of both

3580. Has anyone ever

screamed your name during sex? no

moaned your name during sex? yes.

3581. Hershey’s kisses: mint, almond, hugs, plain. other?

plain.

3582. What’s the best slurpee flavor?

red, whatever that is? cherry, i guess

3583. What are five movies that you think someone would have to be living under a rock in iceland to not have seen?

mean girls, white chicks, titanic, jurassic park, home alone

3584. Of these words, which ones are funny:

beets?

cumquat?

pit?

Piss-capades?

fuzzy?

What are some other funny words?

moist

3585. Do you give good massages?

i think so

3586. What songs have been 'stuck’ in your head?

lots

3587. What don’t most people know about your job?

it’s easy lol

3588. Is there anything you won’t say unless someone else says it first?

i don’t think so

3589. Do you need a little Christmas?

no

3590. Fake or real tree?

fake.

3591. Is your refrigerator running? You know what to do.

yes.

3592. How can you explain when there are few words you can choose?

idk.

3593. Who can it be now?

i love that song

3594. Where HAS Joe Dimaggio gone? And why does our nation turn it’s eyes to him?

idk.

3595. How often do you get headaches?

very often

3596. Have you ever worn fake eyelashes?

nope

3597. What could you spend 24 hours in a row doing?

watching tv

3598. Is it Friday yet?

not quite

3599. Do you remember There was a time (ahaha) when people on the street were walking hand in hand in hand?/

no.

3600. Do you talk to inanimate objects? on occasion

Do you try to get them to answer you? no.

Have they ever answered you? no.

[foursprout-blog]

Know The 5 Stages Of Sleep For Better Rest

New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/happiness/know-the-5-stages-of-sleep-for-better-rest/

Know The 5 Stages Of Sleep For Better Rest

You’re reading Know The 5 Stages Of Sleep For Better Rest, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

We get it. There’s nothing better than an extra 30 minutes of sleep on a warm, cozy bed. But did you know that it could actually make you more tired?

I know, it sounds counterintuitive. More sleep = more tired doesn’t seem like an equation that makes sense, but hear me out.

After launching my language lessons company, my sleep was completely out of wack. Some nights I would only get 2-3 hours of sleep, while other nights I would get 10, and still feel exhausted. If you can relate, I hope to share the 5 different stages of sleep we all experience, and some actionable tips to help you sleep better!

The 5 Stages of Sleep

It turns out that there are 5 major sleep stages that we all go through during the night. Starting with…

Stage 1 (NREM)

In this first stage, you’re in a NREM (non-rapid eye moment) stage. This is when you’re floating in and out of consciousness. It’s that moment when you feel awake but you also notice your mind is drifting away. You may also feel your muscle jerk that wakes you up into consciousness, also known as hypnic myoclonia.

Stage 2 (NREM)

Stage 2 is when you start to enter the lighter phases of sleep. About half of our sleep time is spent during this NREM stage. This is when your muscle and heart rate begins to relax, and your brain slowly dwindles down.

Stage 3 & 4 (NREM)

These next two stages are combined as they have very similar effects on your sleep, called slow wave sleep (SWS). This is known as the deepest part of the sleep cycle, and one must not be woken up during this stage. If you’ve ever been abruptly woken up in a groggy state, you were probably experiencing slow wave sleep.

The other reason why SWS is vital is because the body rejuvenates itself during this stage. Growth hormones are released, which is used to heal muscle and tissues, and provides important oxygen and nutrients to the body.

Fun fact: these are also the stages when children (or adults) experience sleep walking and bedwetting.

Stage 5 (REM)

This is the final stage of the sleep cycle, and the only stage where you experience REM (rapid eye moment) sleep. While we only spend 20% of our time during this stage, it’s when the brain is most active. It’s likely the most important stage as well because the brain is revitalized for daytime functioning.

The majority of our dreams are also occurring in this final stage of sleep, and the brain waves appear as if we’re awake.

How to Improve Your Sleep Quality

The real question is, how do we actually sleep better? I’ve spent hundreds of dollars and hours experimenting with different solutions, and these are the best tips I have found to be helpful.

1. Block blue light

In the digital world we live in today, the majority of poor sleep quality is due to what’s known as blue light. Studies show that we spend on average 10.5 hours a day in front of our screens (i.e. smartphones, TV, laptops) 1. Each of these screens emit harmful blue light that suppresses melatonin, our sleep hormone. In short, this tricks our brain to feel ‘awake’ when we should be in relaxed mode.

The best way to combat this effectively is to invest in a pair of blue light blocking glasses (also known as computer glasses) that you can wear while you work, and 90 minutes before you sleep.

Recommended: iGOTHAM Eyewear

2. Adjust your room temperature

Sleep experts have shown that room temperature between 60 and 75 degrees Fahrenheit is ideal for the best sleep. A room with extreme temperatures leads to more frequent awakenings and lighter sleep.

This can be extremely difficult if you have a sleeping partner, which is why I recommend Chilipad. It’s a heating and cooling pad that you place underneath your bedsheets. Best of all, you can place it just on your side of the bed so you can customize the best temperature for you, without disturbing your sleeping partner.

Recommended: Chilipad

  3. Optimize for REM sleep

Given how important REM sleep is in our sleep stage, we should optimize our sleep time around it.

It turns out that our sleep cycle contains a REM stage every 90 minutes. That means if you know when you want to wake up (ex. 6 am), then you want to work backwards in 90 minute increments to find out when to sleep.

If your goal is to wake up at 6 am, then you will likely need to fall asleep at 10:30 pm or 12:00 am to meet the 90 minute rule. You can also use a sleep calculator to make this process more automated.

Recommended: Sleepyti.me (sleep calculator)

Next steps

I hope this was useful for those of you that struggle with getting quality sleep in your life. As someone who has struggled with insomnia, these tips are dear to my heart.

Like many of you, I procrastinated on taking action in improving my sleep. But I can tell you from personal experience the positive impact it has had in my life, once I put these tips into action.

My recommendation is to try out at least one of these tips. Once you notice the positive effects in your sleep, you can try another, and so forth.

Best of luck on your journey!

You’ve read Know The 5 Stages Of Sleep For Better Rest, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

[foursprouthappiness-blog]

Know The 5 Stages Of Sleep For Better Rest

New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/happiness/know-the-5-stages-of-sleep-for-better-rest/

Know The 5 Stages Of Sleep For Better Rest

You’re reading Know The 5 Stages Of Sleep For Better Rest, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

We get it. There’s nothing better than an extra 30 minutes of sleep on a warm, cozy bed. But did you know that it could actually make you more tired?

I know, it sounds counterintuitive. More sleep = more tired doesn’t seem like an equation that makes sense, but hear me out.

After launching my language lessons company, my sleep was completely out of wack. Some nights I would only get 2-3 hours of sleep, while other nights I would get 10, and still feel exhausted. If you can relate, I hope to share the 5 different stages of sleep we all experience, and some actionable tips to help you sleep better!

The 5 Stages of Sleep

It turns out that there are 5 major sleep stages that we all go through during the night. Starting with…

Stage 1 (NREM)

In this first stage, you’re in a NREM (non-rapid eye moment) stage. This is when you’re floating in and out of consciousness. It’s that moment when you feel awake but you also notice your mind is drifting away. You may also feel your muscle jerk that wakes you up into consciousness, also known as hypnic myoclonia.

Stage 2 (NREM)

Stage 2 is when you start to enter the lighter phases of sleep. About half of our sleep time is spent during this NREM stage. This is when your muscle and heart rate begins to relax, and your brain slowly dwindles down.

Stage 3 & 4 (NREM)

These next two stages are combined as they have very similar effects on your sleep, called slow wave sleep (SWS). This is known as the deepest part of the sleep cycle, and one must not be woken up during this stage. If you’ve ever been abruptly woken up in a groggy state, you were probably experiencing slow wave sleep.

The other reason why SWS is vital is because the body rejuvenates itself during this stage. Growth hormones are released, which is used to heal muscle and tissues, and provides important oxygen and nutrients to the body.

Fun fact: these are also the stages when children (or adults) experience sleep walking and bedwetting.

Stage 5 (REM)

This is the final stage of the sleep cycle, and the only stage where you experience REM (rapid eye moment) sleep. While we only spend 20% of our time during this stage, it’s when the brain is most active. It’s likely the most important stage as well because the brain is revitalized for daytime functioning.

The majority of our dreams are also occurring in this final stage of sleep, and the brain waves appear as if we’re awake.

How to Improve Your Sleep Quality

The real question is, how do we actually sleep better? I’ve spent hundreds of dollars and hours experimenting with different solutions, and these are the best tips I have found to be helpful.

1. Block blue light

In the digital world we live in today, the majority of poor sleep quality is due to what’s known as blue light. Studies show that we spend on average 10.5 hours a day in front of our screens (i.e. smartphones, TV, laptops) 1. Each of these screens emit harmful blue light that suppresses melatonin, our sleep hormone. In short, this tricks our brain to feel ‘awake’ when we should be in relaxed mode.

The best way to combat this effectively is to invest in a pair of blue light blocking glasses (also known as computer glasses) that you can wear while you work, and 90 minutes before you sleep.

Recommended: iGOTHAM Eyewear

2. Adjust your room temperature

Sleep experts have shown that room temperature between 60 and 75 degrees Fahrenheit is ideal for the best sleep. A room with extreme temperatures leads to more frequent awakenings and lighter sleep.

This can be extremely difficult if you have a sleeping partner, which is why I recommend Chilipad. It’s a heating and cooling pad that you place underneath your bedsheets. Best of all, you can place it just on your side of the bed so you can customize the best temperature for you, without disturbing your sleeping partner.

Recommended: Chilipad

  3. Optimize for REM sleep

Given how important REM sleep is in our sleep stage, we should optimize our sleep time around it.

It turns out that our sleep cycle contains a REM stage every 90 minutes. That means if you know when you want to wake up (ex. 6 am), then you want to work backwards in 90 minute increments to find out when to sleep.

If your goal is to wake up at 6 am, then you will likely need to fall asleep at 10:30 pm or 12:00 am to meet the 90 minute rule. You can also use a sleep calculator to make this process more automated.

Recommended: Sleepyti.me (sleep calculator)

Next steps

I hope this was useful for those of you that struggle with getting quality sleep in your life. As someone who has struggled with insomnia, these tips are dear to my heart.

Like many of you, I procrastinated on taking action in improving my sleep. But I can tell you from personal experience the positive impact it has had in my life, once I put these tips into action.

My recommendation is to try out at least one of these tips. Once you notice the positive effects in your sleep, you can try another, and so forth.

Best of luck on your journey!

You’ve read Know The 5 Stages Of Sleep For Better Rest, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.