#Falafel Machine

[rhymeswithswaggness]

Weird question...but...

What do you call that gaint men who look like ice cream?

Uuuuh… I’m gonna need a little more description.

[commercial-kitchen-equipment]

The Ultimate Falafel Machine: Crispy and Delicious Falafel Every Time!

[rhymeswithswaggness]

Awwww Amiiiiir that’s cuuuuute

Haha wild. You have a crush on saaaam

@sharpwitandwire get over here they’re doing it again

@definitely-a-geometry-teacher I brought you flowers!!

[ingravinoveritas]

Flew into to Vancouver today for a speaking engagement, and the guy sitting next to me on my connecting flight was watching Passengers. Looked over for one moment and there was Michael as the robot bartender. I can't escape...

[crowleys-hips]

Good Omens Themed Asks🐍 🍎

so last night i was trying to distract myself from The Horrors, so i thought about ducks and started wondering if they like strawberries and if so, can they eat chocolate covered strawberries? (looked it up. no they can't) and i thought how sad, but can they see the stars? (they CAN. they've got great eye sight. i went into a rabbit hole about it) so one thing led to another and i ended up making a Good Omens themed ask game 🦆 go nuts

bookshop - what's your happy/safe place? (physical or intangible)

hot chocolate - what's your comfort drink/food?

rain - have you ever been in love?

Queen - top 5 favorite bands/artists

record - a song that's very significant to you? what does it mean to you?

the Ritz - describe your ideal date

ducks - are you good with animals? could you lead a revolution with them?

sushi - have you ever eaten something illegal? by accident or otherwise

apple - what's your guilty pleasure?

Talisker - what do you do when you're sad?

ox rib - if you were some type of food, what kind of food would you be?

Châteauneuf-du-Pape - tell us about a funny/goofy time with someone

Bentley - what's your most prized possession?

french - do you and your loved ones ever get lost in translation?

plants - how do you deal with your frustrations?

laudanum - what's the craziest thing you've ever done?

prophecy - do you believe in fate?

holy water - have you ever had to do something extreme to protect yourself?

magic - what's something you suck at but absolutely love doing?

nebula - something you've done that you're really proud of?

polaroid - what's a bittersweet memory?

zombies - what are you most afraid of?

hell - what are some of your inner demons?

heaven - what has been the greatest loss of your life?

goats - if goats could speak, do you think they should be able to vote? why or why not? explain.

pot - a favorite childhood memory?

angel cake - are you a sweet tooth?

bathtub - if you could get away with murder only once, would you use that chance to take out someone? who?

falafel - what's a thought you can't ever seem to outrun

whales - what do you consider is your greatest accomplishment so far?

Jane Austen - what's your favorite book you've read recently?

fly - tell us a secret. shh it's okay we won't tell anyone (except all of tumblr)

vavoom - have you ever clicked with someone immediately? or are you more of a slow burn type? (platonic or romantic or anything)

turtleneck - show us (or draw) your hottest outfit

Alpha Centauri - where do you run off to when it feels like the end of the world?

South Downs Cottage - what is your ideal happy ending?

ball - what's something that's great in fantasy but disappointing in reality?

coffee - describe what you would do if you were in a coffee shop au with your crush and there was an apocalypse out there and all you had to defend yourself is whatever is at hand in the coffee shop (mugs, coffee machine, plates, cash register, desserts, chairs, tables, napkins, etc). the enemies are floating heads who want to kidnap your crush. go

Final Fifteen - greatest heartbreak of your life?

nightingales - what makes it all worth it for you?

tartan socks - hot or not?

[mariacallous]

When we conceived Goldie Falafel, instead of thinking of falafel as an ethnic specialty, we wanted to present it as a vegan alternative to saturated-fat-laden hamburgers, but still wrapped in the flag of the great American fast-food joint. Falafel and French fries — which are often stuffed into pita along with the falafel — were the easy part, since both are naturally vegan and fundamentally delicious.

But what about the milkshakes? How would we replace the sweet, rich and creamy milkfat with something equally decadent, satisfying — and dairy-free? Fortunately, when the fast-food gods close a door, they open a window.

We’ve said it before: There are very few culinary problems that tahini can’t solve. It’s mostly fat, it’s vegan and it has a delicious (if forward) flavor that is great in sweet application. Mixed with sugar and a combination of soy and almond or coconut milks and run through an expensive milkshake machine, it yields something that could be (and often is) mistaken for a milkshake. From the opening day of Goldie on April 1, 2017, tahini shakes were a runaway hit, perhaps surpassing the falafel itself in popularity.

No milkshake machine? No problem. Caitlin McMillan, our partner and the chef who developed all of Goldie’s recipes, including the tahini shakes, has adapted our process for ice cube trays and a blender.

Note: The Turkish coffee syrup will keep, refrigerated, for up to 1 month.

[brookstonalmanac]

Holidays 6.12

Holidays

Analog to Digital Switch Day

Anne Frank Day

Bedstraw Day (French Republic)

Big Bend National Park Day

Blue Galaxy Day

Children’s Day (Haiti)

Crowded Nest Syndrome Day

Dia dos Namorados (Brazil)

Flag Day (Brazil; New Zealand)

Ghost in the Machine Day

Grimace Day

Helsinki Day (Finland)

Idol Day

Indiana Jones Day

International Adobo Day

International DDX3X Day

International Dubbing Day

International Shia Day

Interracial Marriage Day

June 12 Commemoration (Lagos State, Nigeria)

Lancaster Day (UK)

Little League Girls Baseball Day

Lover’s Day (Japan)

Loving Day

Magic Day

Man of Steel Day

Mother’s Day (Luxembourg)

National Automotive Service Professionals Day

National Black Men Don’t Cheat Day

National Button Battery Awareness Day

National Cancer Thriver Day

National Career Nursing Assistants Day

National Chiropractic Health Assistant Day (Canada)

National Control Room Worker’s Day

National Dame Day

National Great Dane Day

National Harm Reduction Day (Canada)

National Hospital at Home Patients Day

National Magic Day

National X Day

Orlando United Day (Florida)

Peace Day (Kosovo)

Peace with Bolivia Day (Paraguay)

Perfect Game Day

Portland Trail Blazers Day (Oregon)

Predator Day

Pulse Remembrance Day

Queen’s Birthday (Pitcairn Islands, Tuvalu)

Railway Day (Japan)

Rock Around the Clock Day

Russia Day (Russia)

Science Day (Turkmenistan)

Senior Race Day (Isle of Man)

Sharon Needles Day (Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania)

612 Day (Minnesota)

Spoonful of Sugar Day

Spousal Abuse Day

State Protection Service Day (Poland)

Stock Market Employees Day (Ukraine)

Superman Day

Swiss Army Knife Day

Tear Down This Wall Day

Valentine’s Day (Brazil)

Welsh Bands T-Shirt Day (UK)

We Remember 612 Day (Hong Kong)

Women’s Veterans Day

World Day Against Child Labour (UN)

Food & Drink Celebrations

Chuy’s National Taco Day

Cupcake Day (UK)

International Cachaca Day

International Falafel Day

National Apple Cinnamon Muffin Day

National Jerky Day

National Roast Beef Day

Peanut Butter Cookie Day

Pink Spaghetti Day

Poultry Day

Nature Celebrations

Mignonette Day (Charm; Korean Birth Flowers)

National Cougar Day

National Dairy Goat Awareness Day

National Goat Awareness Day

Red Rose Day

Independence, Flag & Related Days

Act of Settlement Day (UK; 1701)

Bill of Rights Day (Virginia; 1776)

Chaco Armistice Day (Paraguay)

Constitution Day (Turks & Caicos Island)

Delaware (State Constitution adopted; 1792)

Democracy Day (Nigeria)

Philippines (from Spain, 1898)

2nd Thursday in June

Global Fatty Liver Day [2nd Thursday]

National Career Nursing Assistants Day [2nd Thursday]

National Farm Workers Day [2nd Thursday]

Superman Celebration begins (Metropolis, Illinois) [2nd Thursday thru Sunday]

Thirsty Thursday [Every Thursday]

Thoughtful Thursday [2nd Thursday of Each Month]

Three for Thursday [Every Thursday]

Thrift Store Thursday [Every Thursday]

Throwback Thursday [Every Thursday]

Toast Thursday [2nd Thursday of Each Month]

World Judicial Officer Day [2nd Thursday]

Weekly Holidays beginning June 12 (2nd Full Week of June)

National Nursing Assistants Week (thru 6.18) [7 Days from 2nd Thursday]

Raggedy Ann and Andy Days (thru 6.13)

Festivals On or Beginning June 12, 2025

Bachfest (Leipzig, Germany) [thru 6.22]

BBQ BASH (Wakefield, Virginia)

BBQ RibFest (Fort Wayne, Indiana) [thru 6.15]

Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival (Manchester, Tennessee) [thru 6.15]

Chisholm Trail Roundup BBQ & Chili Cook-Offs (Lockhart, Texas) [thru 6.14]

Claw Down (Boothbay Harbor, Maine)

Frankenmuth Bavarian Festival (Frankenmuth, Michigan) [thru 6.15]

Gladbrook Corn Carnival (Gladbrook, Iowa) [thru 6.15]

Hollywood Fringe Festival (Los Angeles, California) [thru 6.29]

Indy Strawberry Festival (Indianapolis, Indiana)

Kirtland Kiwanis Strawberry Festival (Kirtland, Ohio) [thru 6.14]

Lansing Beer Fest (Lansing, Michigan)

Louisiana Corn Festival (Bunkie, Louisiana) [thru 6.14]

Newport Italianfest (Newport, Kentucky) [thru 6.15]

Ottawa Fringe Festival (Ottawa, Canada) [thru 6.22]

Primavera Sound (Porto, Portugal) [thru 6.15]

Sónar (Barcelona, Spain) [thru 6.14]

Springfield Fair (Springfield, Maine) [thru 6.15]

Taste of the Vineyard (Edgartown, Massachusetts) [thru 6.14]

U.S. Open (Golf) Championship (Oakmont, Pennsylvania) [thru 6.15]

Feast Days

St. Anthony’s Day Eve (Portugal)

Antonina (Christian; Martyr)

Bannocks Day (Celtic Book of Days)

Basilides, Cyrinus, Nabor and Nazarius (Christian; Martyrs)

Be More Paranoid Day (Pastafarian)

Bob Katz (Muppetism)

St. Charles Borromeo (Positivist; Saint)

Enmegahbowh (Episcopal Church)

Eskil of Sweden (Christian; Martyr)

Feast of the Blessed Polish Martyrs of World War II

Festival of Mut (Ancient Egypt)

First Ecumenical Council (Lutheran)

Gaspar Bertoni (Christian; Saint)

Gerard Hoffnung Day (Church of the SubGenius; Saint)

Gin Day (Pastafarian)

Guy of Cortona (Christian; Saint)

Hildegard Burjan (Christian; Blessed)

John of Sahagún (Christian; Saint)

Korean Rice Farmers Stream Hair Washing Day (Everyday Wicca)

Leo III, Pope (Christian; Saint)

Media Ver VII (Pagan)

Odulf (Christian; Saint)

Onuphrius (Christian; Saint)

Paula Frassinetti (Christian; Saint)

Peter of Mount Athos (Christian; Saint)

Sparky Day (Church of the SubGenius; Saint)

Ternan, Bishop of the Picts (Christian; Saint)

Zeus’ Day (Ancient Greece)

108 Martyrs of World War II (Christian)

Lunar Calendar Holidays

Chinese: Month 5 (Ren-Wu), Day 17 (Ren-Zi)

Day Pillar: Water Rat

12-Day Officers/12 Gods: Destruction Day (破 Po) [Inauspicious]

Holidays: None Known

Secular Saints Days

Irwin Allen (Entertainment)

Dave Berg (Art)

Chick Corea (Music)

Charles Kingsley (Literature)

John Linnell (Music)

Fritz A. Lipmann (Science)

Paula Marshall (Entertainment)

Jim Nabors (Entertainment)

Bill Naughton (Literature)

Frances O'Connor (Entertainment)

Egon Schiele (Art)

Johanna Spyri (Literature)

Henry Scott Tuke (Art)

Adriaen van Stalbemt (Art)

Len Wein (Art)

Lucky & Unlucky Days

Prime Number Day: 163 [38 of 72]

Sakimake (先負 Japan) [Bad luck in the morning, good luck in the afternoon.]

Unfortunate Day (Pagan) [34 of 57]

Premieres

Admission Free (Betty Boop Cartoon; 1932)

All About Dogs (Terrytoons Cartoon; 1942)

Andy Warhol’s Blue Movie (a.k.a. Fuck; Adult Film; 1969)

Are You My Mother?, by P.D. Eastman (Children’s Book; 1960)

The Aristo-Cat (WB MM Cartoon; 1943)

Breathing (Goldwyn-Bray Pictographs Cartoon; 1920)

The Brighter Buccaneer, by Leslie Charteris (Short Stories; 1933) [Saint #12]

Bugs Bunny Rides Again (WB MM Cartoon; 1948)

Bullet Park, by John Cheever (Novel; 1969)

Can’t Hardly Wait (Film; 1998)

Chesapeake, by James A. Michener (Historical Novel; 1978)

Chuck Berry Is On Top, by Chuck Berry (Album; 1959)

City Slickers (Aesop's Film Fable Cartoon; 1928)

Clash of the Titans (Film; 1981)

Cleopatra (Film; 1963)

Clockwork Angels, by Rush (Album; 2012)

Coming Up for Air, by George Orwell (Novel; 1939)

Cropp Chasers (Columbia Favorites Cartoon; 1952)

Deep Throat (Adult Film; 1972)

Donald’s Garden (Disney Cartoon; 1942)

Donovan’s Reef (Film; 1963)

Farmer Al Falfa’s Bedtime Story (Terrytoons Cartoon; 1932)

Felix the Cat in Dough Nutty (Felix the Cat Cartoon; 1927)

Fish Fry (Andy Panda Cartoon; 1944)

Food, Inc. (Documentary Film; 2009)

Foundation and Empire, by Isaac Asimov (Novel; 1952) [Foundation #2]

Go Bo Diddly, by Bo Diddly (Album; 1959)

Got To Get You Into My Life, by The Beatles (Song Rereleased; 1976)

The Gusher (Mutt & Jeff Cartoon; 1921)

Hard Cider (Aesop's Film Fable Cartoon; 1927)

History of the World: Part 1 (Film; 1981)

The Horse Soldiers (Film; 1959)

I’ll Chase the Blues Away, recorded by Ella Fitzgerald (Song; 1935)

The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks, by Rebecca Skloot (Science Book; 2010)

Jack Wabbit and the Beanstalk (WB MM Cartoon; 1943)

Jurassic World (Film; 2015)

ko-Ko Hot After It (Fleischer Out of the Inkwell Cartoon; 1926)

Line of Duty (BBC TV Series; 2012)

Little Blabber Mouse (Blue Ribbon Hit Parade Cartoon; 1948)

Love and Kisses, recorded by Ella Fitzgerald (Song; 1935)

Mariah Carey, by Mariah Carey (Album; 1990)

Me and Earl and the Dying Girl (Film; 2015)

Melody (Adventures in Music Disney Cartoon; 1953)

Moon (Film; 2009)

Mother's Little Helper (Beary Family Walter Lantz Cartoon; 1962)

National Baseball Hall of Fame (Hall of Fame; 1939)

Palestrina, by Hans Pfitzner (Opera; 1917)

Predator (Film; 1987)

A Punk Piper (Goldwyn-Bray Pictographs Cartoon; 1920)

Raiders of the Lost Ark (Film; 1981)

Rhapsody in Blue, by George Gershwin (Orchestral Jazz; 1924)

The Sailor’s Home (Farmer Al Falfa Terrytoons Cartoon; 1936)

Satisfaction, by The Rolling Stones (Song; 1965)

She’s Not There, recorded by The Zombies (Song; 1964)

Shootin' Fish (Paramount Cartoon; 1921)

Some Time in New York City, by John Lennon (Album; 1972)

Speedway (Film; 1968)

Spooking of Ghosts (Casper Cartoon; 1959)

Stage Coached (Krazy Kat Cartoon; 1928)

Superman vs. The Elite (Animated WB Film; 2012)

Surfer Girl, recorded by The Beach Boys (Song; 1963)

Swingers (Film; 1997)

Take Off Your Pants and Jacket, by Blink-182 (Album; 2001)

Testimony of Two Men, by Taylor Caldwell (Novel; 1968)

Tom Thumb's Brother (Color Rhapsody Cartoon; 1941)

Toreadorable (Fleischer/Famous Popeye Cartoon; 1953)

2 Cool 4 Skool, by BTS (Album; 2013)

Up and Down (Funny Face Comedies Cartoon; 1924)

The Witches of Eastwick (Film; 1987)

Today’s Name Days

Florinda, Guido, Leo (Austria)

Bazilid, Gašpar, Leon (Croatia)

Antonie (Czech Republic)

Balisius (Denmark)

Eskel, Esko (Estonia)

Esko (Finland)

Guy (France)

Florinda, Guido, Leo (Germany)

Onoufrios (Greece)

Villő (Hungary)

Basilide, Guido, Onofrio (Italy)

Ija, Narda, Nora (Latvia)

Anupras, Dovė, Kristijonas, Kristis, Ramūnas (Lithuania)

Sigfrid, Sigrid, Siri (Norway)

Antonina, Bazyli, Jan, Leon, Onufry, Wyszemir (Poland)

Onufrie, Pavel, Petru (România)

Zlatko (Slovakia)

Juan, Onofre (Spain)

Eskil (Sweden)

Onopriy (Ukraine)

Ahmad, Ahmed, Aisha, Asia, Mohamed, Mohammad, Mohammed (USA)

Today’s National Name Days

National Esther Day

National Irwin Day

Today is Also…

Day of Year: Day 163 of 2025; 202 days remaining in the year

ISO Week: Day 4 of Week 24 of 2025

Celtic Tree Calendar: Duir (Oak) [Day 3 of 28]

Chinese: Month 5 (Ren-Wu), Day 17 (Ren-Zi)

Chinese Year of the: Snake 4723 (until February 17, 2026) [Ding-Chou]

Coptic: 5 Baunah 1741

Druid Tree Calendar: Ironwood (June 4-13) [Day 9 of 10]

Hebrew: 16 Sivan 5785

Islamic: 15 Dhu al-Hijjah 1446

Julian: 30 May 2025

Meteorological Summer [Day 11]

Moon: 98%: Waning Gibbous

Positivist: 23 Saint Paul (6th Month) [St. Charles Borromeo]

Runic Half Month: Odal (Home, Possession) [Day 15 of 15] (thru 6.15)

Season: Spring (Day 84 of 92)

SUn Calendar: 13 Blue; Sixthday [13 of 30]

Week: 2nd Full Week of June

Zodiac:

Tropical (Typical) Zodiac: Gemini (Day 23 of 31)

Sidereal Zodiac: Taurus (Day 29 of 32)

Schmidt Zodiac: Cetus (Day 6 of 26)

IAU Boundaries (Current) Zodiac: Aries (Day 30 of 39)

IAU Boundaries (1977) Zodiac: Aries (Day 30 of 37)

[7-pines]

artisan item checklist

The amount of each artisan item you need to make. Artisan items are recursive (if you need to make juice and wine, it'll tell you to make 2 juices), but nothing else is (if someone loves a meal that involves an artisan item, it's not keeping track of that.) Loved items are included as "+1" for each person who loves it.

This is also made to be specific so when a recipe/crafting/offering calls for "Any ___" or "A or B", I picked the cheapest version of it to make. How things get replaced is under the Read More at the end.

3x Tulip honey [Bee house]: Apple pie, Assorted grilled platter, Jamu (Cooking)

1x Titan arum black honey [Bee house]: Rare Artisan (Offering)

8x Cheese [Cheese press]: Burrito, Eggplant lasagna, Gnocchi, Hawaiian pizza, Oven-baked risotto, Pizza, Summer burger, Sweet potato poutine (Cooking)

2x Syrup [Cheese press]: Es cendol, Es doger (Cooking)

1x Seaweed chips [Dehydrator]: Basic Artisan (Offering)

1x Large gesha coffee [Keg]: Loved by Aaliyah

2x Gesha coffee [Keg]: Loved by Aaliyah, Raj

3x Sake [Keg]: Fish soup (Cooking) Loved by Connor, Walter

7x Coffee [Keg]: Loved by Antonio, Emma, Giu, Groo, Joko, Raj, Randy

9x Green tea [Keg]: Kombucha (Artisan) Help Paul (Quest) Loved by Anne, Ben, Betty, Eleanor, Emma, Kenny, Raj

1x Cane nectar [Keg]: Loved by Erika

2x Cranberry juice [Keg]: Basic Artisan (Offering) Cranberry wine (Artisan)

1x Wool cloth [Loom]: Monster scarecrow (Crafting)

5x Cotton cloth [Loom]: Poci ghost scarecrow (Crafting) Kunti ghost scarecrow (Crafting) Ondel-ondel handsome scarecrow (Crafting) Ondel-ondel pretty scarecrow (Crafting) Loved by Emma

9x Butter [Mason jar]: Basic Artisan (Offering) Apple pie, Butter croissant, Cookies, Corn on the cob, Gnocchi, Minced jackfruit pie, Oven-baked risotto, Peanut butter (Cooking)

1x Kiracha sauce [Mason jar]: Vegan taco (Cooking)

2x Pickled corn [Mason jar]: Basic Artisan (Offering) Corn kimchi (Artisan)

3x Tempeh [Mason jar]: Fried tempeh, Herbed tempeh, Lodeh (Cooking)

4x Mayonnaise [Mayonnaise machine]: Basic Artisan (Offering) Fish taco, Rainbow sandwich (Cooking) Loved by Scott

4x Rice flour [Mill]: Es cendol, Klepon, Popiah, Serabi (Cooking)

10x Wheat flour [Mill]: Apple pie, Basil pesto pasta, Fruit tart, Pad thai, Peyek, Seafood ramen, Veggie ramen (Cooking) Gingerbread scarecrow (Crafting)

20x Amaranth flour [Mill]: Banana fritter, Bread, Butter croissant, Cauliflower casserole, Chocolate chip muffins, Cookies, Gnocchi, Hash browns, Hawaiian pizza, Kue kancing, Minced jackfruit pie, Mooncake, Pancakes, Pepper and mushroom flatbread, Pineapple upside-down cake, Pizza, Pumpkin pie, Red velvet cake, Spider tempura, Tortilla (Cooking)

11x Sugar [Mill]: Cenil, Donut, Egg custard, Fruit tart, Klepon, Kue kancing, Kue lapis, Pineapple upside-down cake, Pumpkin pie, Serabi (Cooking) Gingerbread scarecrow (Crafting)

4x Gourmet salt [Mill]: Herbed tempeh, Ketchup, Serabi, Spider tempura (Cooking)

3x White truffle oil [Oil press]: Rare Artisan (Offering) Loved by Alice, Connor

1x Black truffle oil [Oil press]: Loved by Alice

2x Almond oil [Oil press]: Loved by Alice, Emily

4x Olive oil [Oil press]: Hummus, Roasted mushroom (Cooking) Loved by Alice, Emily

11x Canola oil [Oil press]: Banana fritter, Beet chips, Donut, Falafel, Fried tempeh, Kale chips, Potato chips, Sauteed chard, Spider tempura, Sweet potato chips, Sweet potato poutine (Cooking)

1x Fermented goat cheese wheel [Aging barrel]: Rare Artisan (Offering)

1x Kombucha [Aging barrel]: Loved by Kenny

1x Artichoke kimchi [Aging barrel]: Loved by Anne

1x Corn kimchi [Aging barrel]: Rare Artisan (Offering)

1x Cranberry wine [Aging barrel]: Rare Artisan (Offering)

Replacements

These replacements only involve Cooking & Crafting, not Loved Items. So if someone loves Fruit Juice, that's not kept track of here.

Any flour -> Amaranth flour

Any oil -> Canola oil

Any cheese -> Cheese

Any butter -> Butter

Butter or Large butter -> Butter

Any honey -> Tulip honey

Any mayonnaise -> Mayonnaise

Any fruit juice -> Cranberry juice

Any wine -> Cranberry wine

Any pickle -> Pickled corn

Any kimchi -> Corn kimchi

Any dried scavengeables -> Seaweed chips

[deimos-awaits]

💯 HUNDRED POINTS SYMBOL — share three random facts about your oc that others may not know.

❤️ RED HEART — what are three of your oc's positive traits?

💙 BLUE HEART — does your oc have any cool/special powers and/or abilities? how are they with magic, if it exists in their world?

🍛 CURRY AND RICE — what does your oc's typical dinner look like? do they usually eat dinner?

😖 CONFOUNDED FACE — is your oc an introvert, an extrovert, or an ambivert? do they let people in easily, or are they more reserved?

for Seraph?

💯 HUNDRED POINTS SYMBOL — share three random facts about your oc that others may not know.

She has the Machine Saint Voyager 2 in her ship. She has fought off repeatedly necron attacks to secure it from her. It's her most prizef possession.

If she was in a modern au I've image her as being Jamaican-Swedish

She has a Thing™ for techpriests though often gets annoyed by ecclesairchs

Bonus fact: Vashtorr has tempted her

❤️ RED HEART — what are three of your oc's positive traits?

She's incredibly lenient by inquisitorial standards, actually tries to gather evidence first before jumping to heresy, and is a deeply devoted lay member of the Jovian Forgecult

💙 BLUE HEART — does your oc have any cool/special powers and/or abilities? how are they with magic, if it exists in their world?

She is not at all magic or a pysker, she's got people for that with she has s skitarii control stave taken from a Gryphonne IV Marshall that allows her to subvert the enemies she most frequently fights.

🍛 CURRY AND RICE — what does your oc's typical dinner look like? do they usually eat dinner?

I think Seraph does eat regularly. She's one of the few folks in her sphere to have a relatively healthy relationship to food viewing it as the fuel she needs to continue going, and if it's enjoyable? That's a plus. I'm not sure what he typical dinner looks like but I know for her a comfort foods are space Jamaican patties and space falafel.

😖 CONFOUNDED FACE — is your oc an introvert, an extrovert, or an ambivert? do they let people in easily, or are they more reserved?

I think she's more of an introvert and has an incredibly blunt forceful personality

Thank you so so much for these asks

[ayjadasblogforeverything]

catch-up tag!

@deneb-al-giedi tagged me, thank you!

fav colour: yelloooooooowww! (and I also really like green, especially for clothing, even though I don't have anything in proper green right now)

last fun activity: just now playing the piano, but yesterday evening playing a game with my parents, and a couple of days ago going to the pride together with d!

song stuck in my head: nothing completely but then also 5 modern church songs (they are ideal to practice playing a melody with accompaniment), night book and lady labyrinth by ludovico einaudi and for whatever reason, haven't listened to it in ages, rondò veneziano by rondò veneziano. it's like someone is playing randomly with the frequency control of my internal radio

fav food: yes. who has a clear answer to that?? i still love red cabbage with bohemian dumplings. but i also love salads and sushi and korean fried chicken and falafel-döner and curries and.

sweet/spicy/savory: sweet or savory! spicy can be nice as well, but i want a perfect amount of it that is hard to hit, too little and it's boring, too much and it just hurts.

last thing I googled: Katastrophenschutz (disaster management - perhaps they are looking for a mathematician? spoiler: they are not.)

current obsession: word of honor, but i feel like that might be slowly petering out TT_TT apart from that, i have short bursts of passion for mathy topics that i want to learn more about, like

optimization (it's useful! i love when you can optimize shit without machine learning! i hated it before!),

machine learning (easier to get a job with! and the theory is actually interesting!) and

geometric group theory (my long term love affair! it can be pretty! look at all those symmetries!)

but i very rarely act on it :(

something you're looking forward to: uh. a job? (okay, having money.) right now, i am also looking forward to physiotherapy, i am always curious what she comes up with next.

i am tagging @sirenofthegreenbanks, @apprenticesofdeweyhigh and @striving4mikey, if you are feeling up to it!

[juicemetal]

“I knowwwww I’m intolerant to garlic and everytime I have a falafel I get soooo sick, but maybe this time it’ll be different”

*machine noise* [BAD ROUTE LOCKED IN]

[rhymeswithswaggness]

So… I mean, listen. It might be a good idea to learn, and I thought it could be fun? I could help you. Only self defense stuff of course, nothing crazy.

Amir, do you know how to fight?

Uh...no?

[canichangemyblogname]

Who invented falafel? Because I am willing to invent a time machine to go back and give them the sloppiest head as thanks.

[joysboard]

Paris To Do List!

Clubs:

- l’arc paris (jorja and burna went) - can’t go if you’re short apparently

- silencio 2nd (kaytranada did a set)

- pamela - disco. not as picky with who they let in but go on a thursday as more relaxed

- carmen

- wanderlust

- aquarium de paris cinéaqua

- la machine du moulin rouge

- JAZZ - caveau de la huchette (€10 entry)

- humeur exotique club

- raspoutine

- madeline

- bridge

- supersonic (indie vibes)

- the pop up (bar and concert venue with a free jazz night every tues by gare de lyon)

- SOULECTION NIGHT!!!

- palais de tokyo (izzybozzy did a set there)

- Pachamama (latin american bougie) also mainstream, cash only but bouncers can be weird

Bars:

- le tres particulier 18th

- la pelle

- saint gervais

- le progrès

- bar griffon

- no entry - speakeasy in the basement

- lavomatic

- le syndicat (on same studio road)

- chez prune: next to canal st martin (11/10 from nimue)

- la cidrerie du canal

- the cork and cavern (have pub quizzes every tuesday)

- le nouvel institut (fun student bar 5e and open till late)

- l’orée du parc (5e and recommends any of the spritz)

- au clair du lune (nice cocktail bar with happy hour)

- le balto (6e, great happy hour and vibes, right by christine cinema)

- ruprances - in le marie, lots of young people (louis)

- la perle

- la flèche d’or (kaytranada inspired night)

- Le pavillon des canaux - old house that has been turned into a bar/working space

- la cafe d’église near 10e

- sky drinks thing (vanessa)

- fanzone - place de la concorde. rugby match

Restaurants:

- Benedict - eggs (4e)

- big mama

- bistrot victoires

- kintaro opéra

- chez janou

- le bonaparte

- Jah Jah Paris

- Zinga

- super smash burgers paris

- pho tai - 13 rue philibert lucot 75013

- big black cook

- passage à niveau

- le petit bouillon pharamond (1e)‼️

- le jardin du petit palais

- walyfey

- cook n saj

- flottes

- candide in belleville

- Shana/shosh (2e)

- Chateau voltaire

- mouffetard saigon - most incredible food nimue has ever had in paris

- amagat

- chambre noire studio

- gros bao - amazing chinese/pan asian restaurant next to canal

- bouillon pigalle/république - best cheap french restaurant. good for cheap birthday meal: €15 for starter, main, glass of wine or alternatively their 3 litre bottle of wine to share

Cafes/Food spaces:

- le mazarin

- le mansart

- le très particulier

- chez meunier

- café saint honoré

- SAFE (sunday, work space) near Amar

- espeletia

- 45 rue olivier de serres 75015 paris

- carré pain de mie

- cafe bogata

- a fole

- le carre voltaire

- KITH

- carette, place du trocadéro (viral place w hot chocs)

- belleville market

- arabica coffee at beau passage courtyard

- oliera paris

- sonny’s pizza

- galerie paradis

- recto verso

- benchy

- café berry

- the coffee

- bar principal

- brasserie martin

- onii-san

- cafe charlot

- poilane bakery

- asian/japanese next to opera

- rue santan - known for asian food

- mouffetard - best road in all of paris: right by sorbonne/pantheon/ENS. filled with cheap takeaway places and cute bars

- Le Cèdre - great falafel wrap

- chez nicos - best crepes. good for a night out and open until 3

- trantranzai - yummy noodle chain, one right by pantheon

- nomas tacos - 2ere

- bobs bake shop - 18ere, english speaking

- bonjour jacob

- 207 rue du faubourg

- dumbo paris

- gramme (11e)

- Princess cafe (10e)

- boulangerie de quatre

- le pain retrouve

Cafes to work in:

- cafe husby

- cafe nuage

- l���anti-cafe

- maison fleuret

- SAFE

Shops

- la marelle 2nd - go upstairs

- come on eileen

- Nuovo (quite middle aged vibes)

- villa cœur

- bobbv

- acid violette

- merci

- at dawn

- relique

- louise gift shop

- puces de vanves

- puces de montreuil

- ^ best flea markets in my friend who has recommended me this’s life: enormous and so cheap and better than the central paris ones)

- life drawing in montmartre (class every sunday in a cafe, spenny but lovely vibes, coffee after, discussion, v social. go w a friend and then go to au claire de lune after)

- OFR Paris - magazine shop (3e)

- 8 cité d’antin 75009 paris

- bouliner les halles -

- freepstar

- la pharmacie des âmes - book store

- yvon lambert

Museums/Galleries:

- palais galliera 16th

- mad paris

- sis rue du pas de la mule july

- lacrapule

- 59 rivoli

- fondation h (closed sun, mon)

- YSL museum

- louvre

- tokyo palace

- LV foundation

- rodin museum

- musée de l’orangerie

- pino

- galerie angalia paris 3 - congolaise

- musée de quai branley

- albercon museum and gardens

- south side of siene - shakespeare book company english language

- abbey book store

- perrotin

- pompidou

- Galeries La Fayette

- Bourse de commerce - Pinault collection

Neighbourhoods:

- le sentier - beautiful passages

- montmartre

- the latin quartier

- place des vosges - marais

- PARK - parc de buttes chaumont (best park in all of paris, go at sunset with some beers)

- 9th - good vibes (louis)

- 18th, 6th, 7th nice

- 16th and 8th to avoid

- giverny (monets gardens)

- jardin lazare-rachline

- montparnasse cemetery - rue Daguerre nearby

- canal st martin + chez prune drink

- montparnasse for drinks

- sénat - palais du Luxembourg

- Place where you can see people dancing

Cinemas:

- @moviesinparis

- UGC les halles

- MK2

- christine cinema (6e, show lord of old english language films, do student discussions too)

- the filmothèque (best cinema in 5e, showing old 35mm films)

- la librarie du cinéma du panthéon

- la cinémathèque française - museum dedicated to history of cinema, masterclasses, special screenings

- le forum des images - debates, master classes, exhibitions related to cinemas

- l’arlequin- special screenings and cinema club

- cinema en plein air de l’hôtel paradiso screenings on the rooftop

- On rue Champollion - queue outside cinemas for tickets - you won’t be assigned a seat

- Le reflet Medicis

- La filmothèque (€5 tickets) - shows lots of older films

- Le champ - best programming - usually does all nighters

- Le grand action - shows new releases and English films in a cool cinema

- Lost in Frenchlation - works with cinemas around the city to put on French films with English subtitles! Reccommended at sorbonne nouvelle so lots of students go to meet people

- L’épée de bois

Other:

- BNF - national library and €15 for national student pass. access to all their reading rooms. lovely cafe

- eiffel tower

- 21st JUNE la fête de la music

- Arts et mètiers

- saint german des près

- JAZZ FESTIVAL

- sacré cœur

- banlieue blues

- la villette jazz festival

- le popup du label

- le compte “movies in paris” on IG

- @miaousb

- @bishopnast

- @vsaulz

- @monsieurbonheur

- Pigale (la fete)

- châtelet

- 99 ginger Bercy

- poissonière

- colonel fabien

- billard nation

- bi urban pop play game @mr.glo_ tiktok

- picnic by eiffel at port du belli (mia in france)

- bateaux mouches (1hr seine cruise, €15)

- disney land

- petit palais

- père lachaise

- journée de patrimoine

[brookston]

Holidays 6.12

Holidays

Anne Frank Day

Bedstraw Day (French Republic)

Blue Galaxy Day

Children’s Day (Haiti)

Crowded Nest Syndrome Day

Dia dos Namorados (Brazil)

Flag Day (Brazil; New Zealand)

Ghost in the Machine Day

Grimace Day

Helsinki Day (Finland)

Idol Day

Indiana Jones Day

International Adobo Day

International DDX3X Day

International Dubbing Day

International Shia Day

Interracial Marriage Day

June 12 Commemoration (Lagos State, Nigeria)

Lancaster Day (UK)

Little League Girls Baseball Day

Lover’s Day (Japan)

Loving Day

Magic Day

Man of Steel Day

Mother’s Day (Luxembourg)

National Automotive Service Professionals Day

National Black Men Don’t Cheat Day

National Button Battery Awareness Day

National Cancer Thriver Day

National Chiropractic Health Assistant Day (Canada)

National Control Room Worker’s Day

National Cougar Day

National Dairy Goat Awareness Day

National Dame Day

National Esther Day

National Great Dane Day

National Harm Reduction Day (Canada)

National Hospital at Home Patients Day

National Magic Day

National X Day

Orlando United Day (Florida)

Peace Day (Kosovo)

Perfect Game Day

Portland Trail Blazers Day (Oregon)

Pulse Remembrance Day

Queen’s Birthday (Pitcairn Islands, Tuvalu)

Railway Day (Japan)

Red Rose Day

Rock Around the Clock Day

Russia Day (Russia)

Science Day (Turkmenistan)

Senior Race Day (Isle of Man)

Sharon Needles Day (Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania)

612 Day (Minnesota)

Spoonful of Sugar Day

Spousal Abuse Day

State Protection Service Day (Poland)

Stock Market Employees Day (Ukraine)

Superman Day

Swiss Army Knife Day

Tear Down This Wall Day

Valentine’s Day (Brazil)

Welsh Bands T-Shirt Day (UK)

We Remember 612 Day (Hong Kong)

Women’s Veterans Day

World Day Against Child Labour (UN)

Food & Drink Celebrations

Chuy’s National Taco Day

International Cachaca Day

International Falafel Day

National Apple Cinnamon Muffin Day

National Jerky Day

Peanut Butter Cookie Day

Pink Spaghetti Day

Poultry Day

Independence & Related Days

Act of Settlement Day (UK; 1701)

Bill of Rights Day (Virginia; 1776)

Chaco Armistice Day (Paraguay)

Constitution Day (Turks & Caicos Island)

Democracy Day (Nigeria)

Philippines (from Spain, 1898)

2nd Wednesday in June

National Time Out Day [2nd Wednesday]

Worshipful Company of Vintners of the City of London Annual Procession [2nd Wednesday]

Weekly Holidays beginning June 12 (2nd Full Week)

California State Parks Week (thru 6.16)

International Listening Association Week (thru 6.16)

Raggedy Ann and Andy Days (thru 6.13)

Festivals Beginning June 12, 2024

Emmett Cherry Festival (Emmett, Idaho) [thru 6.15]

Ice Cream Days (Le Mars, Iowa) [thru 6.15]

Mattituck Strawberry Festival (Mattituck, New York) [thru 6.16]

North by Northeast [NXNE] (Toronto, Canada) [thru 6.16]

San Diego County Fair (Del Mar, California) [thru 7.7]

Taste of London (London, UK) [thru 6.16]

Teapot Day (Tea, South Dakota) [thru 6.15]

W. C. Handy Blues & Barbecue Festival (Henderson, Kentucky) [thru 6.15]

Feast Days

Adriaen van Stalbemt (Artology)

St. Anthony’s Day Eve (Portugal)

Antonina (Christian; Martyr)

Bannocks Day (Celtic Book of Days)

Basilides, Cyrinus, Nabor and Nazarius (Christian; Martyrs)

Be More Paranoid Day (Pastafarian)

Bob Katz (Muppetism)

St. Charles Borromeo (Positivist; Saint)

Dave Berg (Artology)

Egon Schiele (Artology)

Enmegahbowh (Episcopal Church)

Eskil of Sweden (Christian; Martyr)

Feast of the Blessed Polish Martyrs of World War II

Festival of Mut (Ancient Egypt)

First Ecumenical Council (Lutheran)

Gaspar Bertoni (Christian; Saint)

Gerard Hoffnung Day (Church of the SubGenius; Saint)

Gin Day (Pastafarian)

Guy of Cortona (Christian; Saint)

Henry Scott Tuke (Artology)

Hildegard Burjan (Christian; Blessed)

Johanna Spyri (Writerism)

John of Sahagún (Christian; Saint)

Korean Rice Farmers Stream Hair Washing Day (Everyday Wicca)

Len Wein (Artology)

Leo III, Pope (Christian; Saint)

Media Ver VII (Pagan)

Odulf (Christian; Saint)

Onuphrius (Christian; Saint)

Peter of Mount Athos (Christian; Saint)

Sparky Day (Church of the SubGenius; Saint)

Ternan, Bishop of the Picts (Christian; Saint)

Zeus’ Day (Ancient Greece)

108 Martyrs of World War II (Christian)

Hebrew Calendar Holidays [Begins at Sundown Day Before]

Shavuot, Day 2 (Judaism) [6-7 Sivan] (a.k.a. …

Feast of the Harvest

Feast of Weeks

Festival of Weeks

First-Fruit festival

Wheat Harvest

Lucky & Unlucky Days

Prime Number Day: 163 [38 of 72]

Taian (大安 Japan) [Lucky all day.]

Unfortunate Day (Pagan) [34 of 57]

Premieres

Admission Free (Betty Boop Cartoon; 1932)

All About Dogs (Terrytoons Cartoon; 1942)

Andy Warhol’s Blue Movie (a.k.a. Fuck; Adult Film; 1969)

Are You My Mother?, by P.D. Eastman (Children’s Book; 1960)

The Brighter Buccaneer, by Leslie Charteris (Short Stories; 1933) [Saint #12]

Bullet Park, by John Cheever (Novel; 1969)

Can’t Hardly Wait (Film; 1998)

Chesapeake, by James A. Michener (Historical Novel; 1978)

Chuck Berry Is On Top, by Chuck Berry (Album; 1959)

Clash of the Titans (Film; 1981)

Cleopatra (Film; 1963)

Clockwork Angels, by Rush (Album; 2012)

Coming Up for Air, by George Orwell (Novel; 1939)

Deep Throat (Adult Film; 1972)

Donald’s Garden (Disney Cartoon; 1942)

Donovan’s Reef (Film; 1963)

Farmer Al Falfa’s Bedtime Story (Terrytoons Cartoon; 1932)

Food, Inc. (Documentary Film; 2009)

Foundation and Empire, by Isaac Asimov (Novel; 1952) [Foundation #2]

Go Bo Diddly, by Bo Diddly (Album; 1959)

History of the World: Part 1 (Film; 1981)

The Horse Soldiers (Film; 1959)

I’ll Chase the Blues Away, recorded by Ella Fitzgerald (Song; 1935)

The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks, by Rebecca Skloot (Science Book; 2010)

Jurassic World (Film; 2015)

Line of Duty (BBC TV Series; 2012)

Love and Kisses, recorded by Ella Fitzgerald (Song; 1935)

Mariah Carey, by Mariah Carey (Album; 1990)

Me and Earl and the Dying Girl (Film; 2015)

Moon (Film; 2009)

Palestrina, by Hans Pfitzner (Opera; 1917)

Predator (Film; 1987)

Raiders of the Lost Ark (Film; 1981)

Rhapsody in Blue, by George Gershwin (Orchestral Jazz; 1924)

The Sailor’s Home (Terrytoons Cartoon; 1936)

She’s Not There, recorded by The Zombies (Song; 1964)

Some Time in New York City, by John Lennon (Album; 1972)

Speedway (Film; 1968)

Superman vs. The Elite (Animated WB Film; 2012)

Surfer Girl, recorded by The Beach Boys (Song; 1963)

Swingers (Film; 1997)

Take Off Your Pants and Jacket, by Blink-182 (Album; 2001)

Testimony of Two Men, by Taylor Caldwell (Novel; 1968)

Toreadorable (Fleischer/Famous Popeye Cartoon; 1953)

2 Cool 4 Skool, by BTS (Album; 2013)

The Witches of Eastwick (Film; 1987)

Today’s Name Days

Florinda, Guido, Leo (Austria)

Bazilid, Gašpar, Leon (Croatia)

Antonie (Czech Republic)

Balisius (Denmark)

Eskel, Esko (Estonia)

Esko (Finland)

Guy (France)

Florinda, Guido, Leo (Germany)

Onoufrios (Greece)

Villő (Hungary)

Basilide, Guido, Onofrio (Italy)

Ija, Narda, Nora (Latvia)

Anupras, Dovė, Kristijonas, Kristis, Ramūnas (Lithuania)

Sigfrid, Sigrid, Siri (Norway)

Antonina, Bazyli, Jan, Leon, Onufry, Wyszemir (Poland)

Onufrie, Pavel, Petru (România)

Zlatko (Slovakia)

Juan, Onofre (Spain)

Eskil (Sweden)

Onopriy (Ukraine)

Ahmad, Ahmed, Aisha, Asia, Mohamed, Mohammad, Mohammed (USA)

Today is Also…

Day of Year: Day 164 of 2024; 202 days remaining in the year

ISO: Day 3 of week 24 of 2024

Celtic Tree Calendar: Duir (Oak) [Day 4 of 28]

Chinese: Month 5 (Geng-Wu), Day 7 (Ding-Wei)

Chinese Year of the: Dragon 4722 (until January 29, 2025) [Wu-Chen]

Hebrew: 6 Sivan 5784

Islamic: 5 Dhu al-Hijjah 1445

J Cal: 14 Blue; Sevenday [14 of 30]

Julian: 30 May 2024

Moon: 36%: Waxing Crescent

Positivist: 23 St. Paul (6th Month) [St. Charles Borromeo]

Runic Half Month: Dag (Day) [Day 4 of 15]

Season: Spring (Day 86 of 92)

Week: 2nd Full Week of June)

Zodiac: Gemini (Day 23 of 31)

[asiansatire]

Netflix Reboots Hogan’s Heroes - Hogan’s Hostages

Netflix Reboots Hogan’s Heroes—Sets It in Gaza, Adds Drone Wi-Fi and Falafel-Based Espionage

Hogan’s Hostages - The Netflix Reboot

Byline: SpinTaxi Middle East Bureau "We watch so you can scream-laugh later." Streaming Giant Takes Hostage of History—and Comedy In a move that critics are calling “either wildly courageous or diplomatically uninsurable,” Netflix announced its boldest reboot yet: Hogan’s Hostages, a dark war comedy set in modern-day Gaza, replacing Nazis with Hamas captors, bumbling German guards with TikTok-hungry militants, and World War II POWs with Mossad agents, rogue journalists, and a travel vlogger who thinks he’s still in Tulum. The original Hogan’s Heroes charmed 1960s America with its laugh-track-laced POW hijinks. Now, Netflix aims to bring the same spirit of sabotage and slapstick to the world's most contentious real estate—by arming it with sardonic writers, crypto-based tunnels, and a goat named “Bibi.” “We’re honoring the original by completely ignoring the Geneva Conventions, both creatively and geopolitically,” said showrunner Dahlia Feigenbaum, formerly of BoJack Horseman and one weekend in Mossad basic training. A Plot So Unreal It Might Be Tomorrow’s Headline Hogan’s Hostages follows a secret Mossad spy unit pretending to be a group of Western captives, who run a covert resistance and satire machine from inside a Hamas-run hostage facility—Camp Al-Nudge Nudge, somewhere between a flattened hospital and a U.N. warehouse with surprisingly good hummus. Despite being “captured,” the hostages: Build tunnels using repurposed Peloton bikes, Stream subversive podcasts from beneath the goat shed, Forge prisoner swap documents using Canva Pro, And smuggle encrypted USB sticks inside baklava boxes. “They’re not trying to escape,” says Feigenbaum. “They’re trying to boost viewership and destabilize authoritarianism using memes and grilled eggplant.” Meet the Characters (and Their Psychological Operations) Colonel Ronen “Hoganstein” Halberstam Disguised as a clueless travel blogger looking for Gaza’s “hidden rooftop bars,” Ronen is actually Mossad’s most elite field agent—and least effective at pretending to be vegan. “He fakes a food allergy to get alone time,” said the casting director. “Classic psy-ops.” Commander Khalid “Klink” al-Klink The Hamas camp overseer, Klink still believes he’s a strategic genius because his cousin once met Erdoğan. He falls for every trick in the hostages’ book—literally. They gave him a fake manual titled How to Host Hostages Without Looking Weak, which he reads aloud during lunch. Sergeant Yusef “Schultzy” Abu Shmeara Camp guard, snack hoarder, low-key Zionist sympathizer (but only for the Netflix password). Schultz has been bribed with everything from protein bars to framed headshots of Gal Gadot. “I see nothing… unless it’s sugar-free,” he often shrugs. Trish Newkirk A BBC-accented CNN reporter with a trust fund and a PhD in “narrative reclamation.” She livestreams escape attempts under the banner of “performative journalism,” occasionally sponsored by Audible. Yoni LeBeau Israeli chef-saboteur whose hummus doubles as plastique. Once blew up a drone using a deconstructed baba ganoush and two bobby pins. Leads weekly cooking classes in “improvised insurgent cuisine.” Kendrick “Kinch” Kinchloe Jr. Ex–NSA contractor who now hacks Hamas servers while DJing lo-fi beats. Responsible for leaking every episode of The Mandalorian to Gaza. Still insists he’s just a "freedom data whisperer." Episode Teasers That Scream “Classified… but Comedic” Episode 1: “Hostages With Benefits” Hoganstein arrives disguised as a YouTube influencer. He’s instantly put in charge of the compound’s social media, which doubles as an encrypted intel drop. Quote: “Does the hostage wing have better lighting for interviews?” Episode 3: “Shmear Tactics” Yoni bakes a cheesecake that hacks the camp’s biometric lock. Klink eats it before it activates, blames Israel for lactose intolerance. Episode 6: “Tunnel of Love” A secret escape tunnel accidentally emerges inside a Hamas wedding tent. The bridal party refuses to evacuate unless the IDF sends catering. Episode 9: “The Falafel Files” Kinch hides launch codes in a falafel ball. Trish eats it, calls it “bold, nutty, and geopolitically irresponsible.” Weaponized Comedy or Cultural Shrapnel? Depends Who You Ask Reactions to the series have ranged from “satirical masterpiece” to “literal war crime” depending on viewers’ political affiliations, VPN provider, and hummus recipe preferences. Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu gave the show a four-star review, calling it “the only time I’ve laughed at a UN bunker,” while Hamas leadership condemned the series as “Zionist propaganda disguised as slapstick” and threatened to sue Netflix with the help of Turkish lawyers and an angry falcon. “It’s not anti-Palestinian. It’s anti-absurdity,” said Feigenbaum. “If you’re running a hostage camp and accidentally give your prisoners drone privileges, you deserve satire.” Comedian Reactions The show has already drawn support from several comedy icons and intelligence agencies posing as film critics: “I haven’t seen anything this politically dangerous since George Carlin hosted Sesame Street Middle East.” — Jon Stewart “Finally, a show where the tunnels are real, but the accents are fake.” — Sarah Silverman “I’d binge this harder than an IDF strike on an Iranian radar dome.” — Dave Chappelle (then immediately clarified he meant that ironically) “Reminds me of my ex. Beautiful, complicated, and hiding three Mossad agents in the basement.” — Ali Wong Marketing: “Hostagecore” Is the New Prestige TV Netflix’s marketing campaign has leaned hard into the dark humor. Posters show the hostages sipping tea over blueprints, with the tagline: “They captured us. We captured the Wi-Fi.” Merchandise includes: Hostage yoga mats with encrypted Hebrew embroidery Limited-edition “Camp Al-Nudge” enamel pins Scented candles called “Tunnel No. 5” A leaked marketing memo described the show’s demographic as “ironic millennials with geopolitical fatigue, ex-intelligence personnel, and Middle East Studies majors trying to seem edgy on Hinge.” Behind-the-Scenes Sabotage: Real Tensions on Set Filming on location in a Moroccan desert re-creation of Gaza (with two Starbucks and zero ceasefires) came with its own complications. Method actor playing Klink got too into character and started filing real complaints with the U.N. Goat actor “Bibi” bit a boom mic operator who disrespected the Palestinian flag arrangement. Three extras accidentally became real hostages when they wandered off set into an arms bazaar in Tunisia. Netflix paid ransom in Dogecoin. Ethical Questions, Loud Answers Human rights groups have raised eyebrows at the comedic setting, but Netflix insists the show punches up. “We mock militants, not civilians. We humiliate ideologies, not identities. And yes, we wrote three drafts with a UN compliance officer and a vegan rabbi.” — Executive Producer, Oren Goldstein Episode disclaimers include: “No real tunnels were used in the filming of this escape.” “This falafel is fictional. Any resemblance to real chickpeas is purely coincidental.” “If you're offended by this episode, congratulations—you still have a conscience.” Funniest Leaks So Far Leaked script page from Episode 8 includes a scene where Klink accidentally calls in a drone strike on his own office because Alexa misheard “Falafel” as “Fire All.” One writer inserted a fake subplot about Mossad agents using Shakira lyrics as encrypted codes. Shakira has not commented, but Mossad “liked” the post on Instagram. The goat, once thought to be comic relief, is revealed in Episode 10 to be running a rogue intelligence network via hoof taps and interpretive bleats. Audience Polls 🗳 SpinTaxi ran a mock viewer survey. Results include: “Which character would you trust to get you out of Gaza?” Hoganstein – 42% Yoni LeBeau – 26% The Goat – 18% Klink – 1% “Can I stay? I like the Wi-Fi.” – 13% “Is it ethical to make war comedy in a real conflict zone?” “Yes, if it makes fun of everyone equally.” – 53% “No, but I watched it twice.” – 37% “Only if Jon Stewart narrates.” – 10% Coming in Season 2 Netflix already greenlit Season 2, tentatively titled “Hogan’s Hostages: West Bank Wiretap”, featuring: A crossover episode with the ghost of Edward Snowden A romantic subplot between Trish and a Palestinian arms dealer who moonlights as a pottery instructor A satirical musical episode featuring bomb-sniffing dogs choreographed to Klezmer trap beats An episode filmed entirely in infrared drone footage and narrated by Grimes

Final Thoughts: Funny or Too Far?

Hogan’s Hostages walks a narrow path: turning the brutal absurdity of modern conflict into a searing, satirical sitcom where weapons are swapped for wit, and tunnels double as Wi-Fi stations. It doesn't try to offer solutions. It doesn't glorify either side. It just points out the reality: when everyone is lying, laughing might be the only honest response left. Auf Wiedersehen, Geneva Convention. Shalom, slapstick sabotage. As-salamu alaykum, weaponized punchlines. Hogan’s Hostages is live. And in the words of the Goat: “Baaa means resistance.”

Hogan’s Hostages - Image Gallery

Courtesy of Netflix “Hogan’s Hostages” – Netflix Reboot of Hogan's Heros “Hogan’s Hostages” – Netflix Reboot of Hogan's Heros “Hogan’s Hostages” – Netflix Reboot of Hogan's Heros “Hogan’s Hostages” – Netflix Reboot of Hogan's Heros (17) “Hogan’s Hostages” – Netflix Reboot of Hogan's Heros (16) “Hogan’s Hostages” – Netflix Reboot of Hogan's Heros (15) “Hogan’s Hostages” – Netflix Reboot of Hogan's Heros (14) “Hogan’s Hostages” – Netflix Reboot of Hogan's Heros (13) Hogan’s Hostages is now streaming. https://screenplay.biz/hogans-hostages-netflix-reboot-of-hogans-heros/   “Hogan’s Hostages” – Netflix Reboot of Hogan's Heros (2) “Hogan’s Hostages” – Netflix Reboot of Hogan's Heros (6) “Hogan’s Hostages” – Netflix Reboot of Hogan's Heros (5) “Hogan’s Hostages” – Netflix Reboot of Hogan's Heros (3) “Hogan’s Hostages” – Netflix Reboot of Hogan's Heros (7) “Hogan’s Hostages” – Netflix Reboot of Hogan's Heros (8) “Hogan’s Hostages” – Netflix Reboot of Hogan's Heros (9) “Hogan’s Hostages” – Netflix Reboot of Hogan's Heros (10) Read the full article