#Fenrys moonbeam angst

[shadowdaddies]

Reunited - Part III

Fenrys x Reader

Part 1 | Part 2

Summary: After years of working as a spy in Adarlan, you are finally reunited with your cousin, Aelin, as you join the war to reclaim Terrasen and bring peace to Erilea. What you don't expect is to meet your mate in the middle of a war.

A/N: for those whom I told the next parts would be less angsty... that doesn't refer to this one I'm so sorry

Warnings: canon-typical violence, KOA spoilers

Your muscles were heavy from peaceful sleep, a satisfied smile gracing your lips as eyes fluttered open to see Aedion and Gavriel standing at the opposite side of the room from where you lay.

Forcing yourself to sit up, you looked around to find yourself in a tent, piles of blankets and furs draped over where you had been sleeping on the ground.

“She’ll be furious with you,” Aedion whispered, seemingly unaware that you had awoken. “But I thank you,” he ground out, the resistance clear in his tone as he looked to your father. 

Gavriel’s tawny eyes flicked to you, lined with sorrow as memories came rushing back. Your entire body heated with pure rage and fear, nails clawing into the covers of your makeshift bed as you tossed the covers away. 

“You,” you seethed, eyes wide and teeth bared as you stood to face Gavriel. It was Aedion who stepped between you, his eyes showing a vulnerability you had yet to see him reveal in front of your father. 

“I know you are upset. But for once,” he glanced pointedly at Gavriel, “he did the right thing. No good could have come from Maeve knowing that you are Fenrys’s mate.”

Hearing his name unleashed a wave of emotion, a lump catching in your throat as the bond screamed inside of you, longing for your other half. “He’s gone,” you whispered, voice breaking as painful, hopeless thoughts eddied in a whirlpool, threatening to drown you. “I may never truly know my mate, because of you,” you growled the last word, tone piercing Gavriel enough to make him flinch.

Aedion fully stepped in front of you, his hands cupping your cheeks, covering your father from your view. “Listen to me. Maeve would have used you to torture him. She would have used you to torture Aelin. Saving him was not an option when he is so close to Maeve. Their blood oath is too strong.”

Your eyes shuttered as the hopeless realization crashed over you like an ocean wave knocking you below the surface. You stepped back, willing your thoughts to calm enough to look at Gavriel’s face, his expression full of guilt and worry. “I swear to you, we will find him. We will free him, if it is the last thing that I do.” He spoke with such conviction, you felt your heart soften, suddenly feeling guilty for how you had spoken to Gavriel.

Before you could find the words to apologize, Gavriel continued. “That is why we are headed north. Aedion leaves for Orynth shortly, but we will be joining Rowan along with Lorcan and Elide. So long as you feel that bond in your chest, we can use it to find Fenrys and Aelin.”

You nodded, shifting into the familiar mindset of a spy as you had lived for so long. “When do we leave?” 

A soft, proud smile graced Aedion’s lips, your brother pulling you in for a hug as he pressed a kiss to your cheek. “I leave now. I had just come to say goodbye,” he murmured. It was an all too familiar sentiment in your family - the sacrifice of leaving your loved ones in the name of duty. 

“Stay safe. I will see you soon,” you responded, not an encouragement, but an oath - one that you clung to, your chest tight as your brother disappeared out the tent. Gaze flicking to Gavriel, you raised your eyebrows in silent question.

“We leave as soon as Rowan returns from the neighboring town. He and Elide are there looking for information from the locals, and we will decide where to travel from there.” All you could manage was a nod, your emotions still roiling deep within underneath your calm facade. 

You packed in silence, Gavriel’s stare burning into your side as you avoided interaction. You had just finished packing and dismantling your tent when Rowan and Elide returned, their eyes lit with a similar wired determination as your own. 

Pine green eyes locked with yours, an unspoken understanding passing between you and Rowan - that the two of you would allow the world to burn to ash before you would allow it to take your mates.

“We’re leaving for Doranelle,” Rowan announced, brooking no room for questions before he helped load your and Elide’s bags onto horses. Giving Rowan a sharp nod, you followed suit, gathering necessities for the journey. 

The dying embers of the campfire the only trace of your existence in the forest, your group headed for Doranelle, Rowan letting out a cry as he shifted into hawk form, soaring above as you journeyed below. The day passed mostly in silence, tensions thick between you and your father, and Elide and Lorcan. 

At your request, Elide explained in brief detail why you were headed towards one of Maeve’s strongholds. She and Rowan had come across one of Maeve’s soldiers at an inn, but the shudder that passed through her when you asked for more told you all that you needed to know about how Rowan acquired that information, and you let the conversation drop.

The sun had long since set when fatigue weighed heavy on your bones, head aching from lack of food and rest. Gavriel sensed it, his too-knowing eyes scanning your sluggish movements, the limp that Elide was trying to hide. 

“We will stop here for the night,” he spoke, low voice not allowing any arguments, not that you could form any. You practically crashed into the ground where you stood at his words, Elide settling next to you as Lorcan gathered kindling. 

There remained little talk among the group. You couldn’t speak for others, but you knew that if you tried to speak, emotions would burst forth like water through a broken dam, the carefully maintained mask of strength you were wearing to be shattered into pieces. Gavriel, Lorcan, and Elide mumbled their good nights, while you and Rowan sat by the fire. 

The twisting, flickering flames held your attention in a captivating dance, the only distraction you could find from the constant agony you felt throughout your body, the unbearable weight of your mate’s pain echoing in each fiber of your soul.

You dared a glance at Rowan, his sharp eyes moving from the fire towards you. You supposed the fire meant something different to him - a reminder of his other half, the closest thing he had to her in this moment. It was a different kind of pain, but one that you could understand as the others did not.

“Do you feel her, too?” you managed, voice cracking through the strained whisper. Rowan’s brow dipped, confusion flickering across his features before understanding settled. 

“No,” he choked, and you worried that you had said the wrong thing. “No, I cannot feel her through the bond. I think whatever  But I know she is there, she is alive. That much I can feel.” A shaky breath escaped you, eyes lining with silver as you curled into your body, gaze focused back on the flames in front of you.

“Can you? Feel him?” Rowan pressed, voice soft as the night breeze. Your eyes squeezed shut, the only hope you had to keep those tears from falling, but one escaped, cold warm against your chilled skin as it traced your cheek.

“Yes,” you breathed, a sob building in your lungs as you gasped for air. “Yes, I feel everything. I feel his pain, I feel his loneliness, I-“

Words were stolen from your lungs as your chest seized, inexplicable pain, grief, bringing you to your knees. You were vaguely aware of Rowan’s presence, a warm hand on your back as sobs wracked your body. Wave after wave of grief and shame barreled into you, body shaking with the force of emotions being thrust upon you.

“Breathe,” Rowan murmured, his hand on your back a grounding comfort as the emotions faded, a distinct numbness filling your senses. Emptiness consumed your being, the only reminder that you were still alive the flames in front of you. 

Silver hair illuminated in the firelight, moving into your vision as Rowan kneeled in front of you. “Can you say... what happened?” he breathed, fear in his eyes as he dared the question.

“He’s not... he isn’t dead,” you managed, the knot in your chest loosening slightly as Rowan visibly relaxed. “Something terrible happened, Rowan. If what I felt was only a small part of what Fenrys is feeling...” Whatever hold you had on your own emotions was lost in that moment, tears falling freely as you cried.

Another hand landed on your shoulder, and you looked up through blurry eyes to see your father watching you, heartbreak written on his features. On instinct, you crashed into him, throwing your arms around Gavriel’s neck, breathing in his comforting scent. 

Conversations were happening in the background - Lorcan and Elide apparently also wakened by your cries - but you held onto your father, finding a small piece of solace in having him here.

Gavriel’s hand lifted, a canteen handed to him which he brought to your hands. “Here, drink this,” he murmured, tawny eyes observing carefully as your shaky hands gripped the vessel. Forcing small sips of water down your throat, breathing came easier, and you noticed Rowan, Lorcan, and Elide all standing nearby. 

“I’m not going to stay the night,” Rowan said, moving back towards where you sat. “If you want to rest, Gavriel will stay with you and Elide. But if you-“

“I’m going with you,” you interrupted. Rowan merely nodded, as thought your response was exactly what he expected. Lorcan was already moving, packing and loading supplies as Rowan’s power suffocated the fire.

You walked in line with Gavriel, leaves and sticks crunching under your boots as owls hooted against the still-darkened sky. “I can feel him, still,” you murmured, eyes downcast at your scuffed, muddied shoes. “I feel him, but it’s different than before. He’s... hollow. It’s like this numbness, and I can’t reach his end of the bond, so I don’t know if he can feel me.” 

Your eyes burned with tears you were too drained to shed when Gavriel grabbed your hand, turning you to stop and look up at him. “Do not give up. I know it hurts, I know what Maeve is capable of. But please, be better than me. Fight for Fenrys. He deserves that. You deserve that. And we will find him, and Aelin.”

Pushing up on your toes, you placed a kiss to your father’s cheek, your eyes never leaving his as you spoke. “You did the right thing. I have already mourned a childhood without you, but I’ve been allowed to know you now, and I am so thankful for a father as selfless as you, who was willing to sacrifice seeing his children grow to keep us safe. You didn’t give up, and I will not either.”

You both turned, heads snapping forward towards the road ahead as Gavriel cleared his throat, eyes shining with emotion as you continued the rest of your walk in silence.

By the time you arrived in Doranelle, your feet hurt like never before, entire body sore from long travels and lack of sleep. Your group hid in the trees just outside the main road through town. Elide turned to you, a fire in her eyes that lit one in your chest. 

“The males are too recognizable, so you will all stay out here and keep a low profile while I go into town. I’m going to see if anyone has information about Cairn’s location, because we know he’s with Aelin and Fenrys.”

You shook your head. “I’m coming with you. You’re not going alone into town, and it would be suspicious if you were by yourself.” You looked around, Lorcan giving you a grateful smile while Gavriel opened his mouth as if to argue. Before he could say anything, you took Elide’s hand and set off towards town.

Doranelle was bustling, people shopping and selling throughout the streets, men calling for your attention as the two of you walked at a brisk pace, eyes and ears open for any sign of danger.

Multiple groups of people shuffled in the same direction, your gaze following their movements towards a pub that appeared to be full of travelers and locals alike. “That’s where we should go,” you murmured to Elide, her dark eyes joining yours as she studied the tavern’s entrance.

Releasing your hand, Elide led the way into the building, instructing you to take a seat wherever you could find one as she took the lead. You found a small booth, thankful for the weight off your feet and even the rancid beer a barmaid slid your way.

It was pure entertainment, a respite from the hellish reality you had been living lately, as you watched Elide put on a show of the helpless maiden. Batting her long lashes, giving shy smiles, she wrung any information she could from the tavern’s patrons while you kept watch.

Everyone seemed taken by her story, the heartbroken lover of Maeve’s general, except for one female. She lounged at one of the tables, chestnut brown eyes watching Elide with a keen, quiet interest. And then Elide mentioned Cairn.

A hush fell over the room, the mood instantly sobering at the mention of the newest member of Maeve’s cadre. Expressions turned cold, even sour as people closed themselves off to Elide’s charm. They definitely knew something, and as you watched Elide excuse herself to the washroom, you caught the striking female with chestnut eyes from before stand up quickly, dark brown hair flowing around her as she turned and followed Elide down the hall.

You were quick behind her, dagger sheathed discreetly at your side. Using your blade, you wedged open the door to the washroom to find Elide wide-eyed, tension thick in the air as she and the female stared at each other. 

Your blade quickly found the female’s neck, your foot kicking the door shut behind you. “Who are you, and what do you know?” you questioned, voice lethally calm.

The female didn’t struggle, her demeanor relaxed as she spoke. “My name is Essar. I mean no harm - I simply wanted to warn your friend to stay away from Cairn. But it appears she is better protected than I believed.” 

Her voice remained calm as she dared to turn towards you, unbothered at how your blade dug further into her skin. “Why do you look for Cairn, truly?”

Your gaze hardened on Essar, assessing the trustworthiness of this new character. “That would depend. What is he to you?” you asked, releasing her so slightly from your hold.

A scoff escaped her lips, nearly a slight laugh as though your question was absurd. “He is nothing to me. And Maeve is less than nothing,” she ground out, venom lacing her tone. You couldn’t help the smile that spread across your lips at her spite. 

“We have business to attend to regarding Cairn,” you murmured, gaze flicking towards the door to check it was closed. 

A knowing gleam shone in Essar’s eyes. “You have Gavriel’s eyes,” she whispered, clearing her throat as she studied you and Elide. “Cairn is at the camp just north of town. He was seen there this morning.”

It was an effort to not let your surprise show, but somehow you knew that you could trust Essar. Hope sprang in your chest, as though the bond was confirming Fenrys was close. “Thank you,” you murmured, to Essar, hand reaching for the doorknob as you gestured for Elide to follow.

“Give them Hell,” Essar said, chin raised proudly. You gave her a final nod of thanks before slipping out the door. Elide could barely keep up with your pace as you raced through town, back to the edge of the woods where the males waited. Now that you knew where Fenrys was, nothing could hold you back from finding him.

You were both short of breath, struggling to explain all that Essar had shared with you at the tavern. “I believe her,” you said, looking to Rowan and Gavriel for validation. But it was Lorcan whose eyes grew soft as you spoke of the female you had met, the other males looking to Lorcan for only a brief moment before Rowan cleared his throat, drawing your attention back to him.

“We can trust her,” he said. “I’ll take to the skies. You follow my lead - we’ll walk around town to avoid running into Maeve’s soldiers for now.”

Heart pounding in your chest, you watched as Rowan launched into the air, your group quietly following the path of the hawk as it led you around the edge of town. Sounds of soldiers running drills, sparring, blacksmiths at work all filled your ears as rows and rows of tents came into view. 

Breath caught in your lungs, the twist of hope and fear electric as it shot through your body. A warm hand wrapped around yours, and you looked down as Gavriel gave it a comforting squeeze. “I am with you,” he whispered.

Words evaded you, but you managed to nod to your father - a silent acknowledgment: "I am with you, too."

Scanning the grounds of the camp, you searched for a way in. There were too many tents, too many places Fenrys and Aelin could be. But your thoughts were interrupted by the bloody cry of a hawk, and before your mind could catch up to your body, you found yourself running, sword drawn, towards the center of camp where Rowan flew.

Soldiers charged you, your adrenaline pumping as you cut them down one by one. Red flooded your gaze as you saw a shell of a female, weighed in familiar iron shackles as she stumbled out of a tent on thin legs. 

Blood pounded in your ears, the faint sound of Lorcan yelling at your side all that you could register as Aelin ran towards you. You couldn’t stop the flow of tears as you locked eyes with your cousin through the iron mask she wore, heart somehow shattered and whole at the sight of her, alive yet broken.

“Fenrys,” she choked. “Fenrys!” Aelin’s voice cried. She whipped around like a wild animal caught in a trap, yelling at Rowan and Lorcan, pleading for them to find your mate. 

You rose to chase after him, but Rowan’s pleading look settled that rage within you - he would find your mate while you protected his. And so you watched him run through the camp with Lorcan, a beautiful storm of chaos as the warriors partnered seamlessly in battle. 

The clanking of chains pulled you from your daze, Aelin scratching at her binds. “Take it off take it off take it OFF,” she screamed, voice hoarse as she chanted violently. Rowan appeared by her side, his hands working as they tried to find an opening on the mask. Rowan.

Your eyes went wild, an unexplainable ache carving itself into your chest as you stood, spinning clumsily while you searched for any sign of Fenrys. The sight of white fur on the ground, Gavriel leaning over the wolf who lay, covered in blood and barely breathing snapped something within you. 

As your father gave you a helpless look, the world cleaved in two, as though half of your soul was ripped from your chest. Collapsing to the ground, your hand wove in Fenrys’s fur as onyx eyes gazed at you, unblinking. 

There was no room in your heart for more tears at this point. Everything had been taken from you - so you lay there, watching the last hope you had for a future, for love, as he faded away.

You didn’t head the commotion behind you as Rowan managed to break the Wyrd marks locking Aelin’s chains, how she crawled weakly to Fenrys’s side across from you. The words, “live, Fenrys. Live,” echoed through your head, Aelin’s voice like a helpless prayer.

And then he blinked. Gold flecks shone in his eyes, chest rising slowly as your mate released a soft whine. Your heart burst with joy, love pouring from your end of the bond as you were finally able to reach Fenrys.

Your hand reached out to him just as he shifted into his human form, long blonde curls fallen across his beautiful face as he stared at you. “Is this real?” he rasped, and you nodded, a broken laugh escaping as you sat up, pulling Fenrys’s head into your lap as his hands found yours, holding onto them like a lifeline.

“He’s gone,” Fenrys whispered, his gaze distant. You felt it then - the hollow feeling, the numbness you had felt through the bond. “Connall,” he murmured, eyes finding yours as a tear rolled down his cheek, and you understood. Fenrys had lost a part of himself - Maeve had taken so much from your mate.

“I will kill her,” you vowed. 

Fenrys’s hand lifted to brush your cheek. “You were my hope. The only strength I found to keep going.” 

Taking his hand from your cheek, you pressed a kiss to his palm. Flames danced in your eyes. “For what she did to you, to Connall, to Aelin. She will burn.”

tag list: @hellodarling1357 @sassyslytherinshai

[lavenderdreams22]

Impossible - Fenrys x Reader

Request: Omg! The fic with Fenrys is so good! Can you write another one? Like they have an argument?

A/N: I hope this is what you were looking for, anon! There really aren’t any warnings… maybe some OOC moments for some characters, some suggestive themes? I haven’t finished Kingdom of Ash yet, so if some details are wrong, sorry!! Also, very quickly edited.

*****

The beach. You had always loved the beach. But today, the sight of the waves crashing against the shore brought a sour taste to your mouth.

Fenrys had been gone for about a week on a mission assigned to him by Aelin. You were glad that he had been given something to do. He was becoming restless, and you feared that he may tear the walls of your shared home apart if he was left to his own devices for much longer.

No, him leaving wasn’t what had made you so upset with him… It was his return. He had gone directly to Aelin to give his report, which was to be expected, but then he had disappeared. You had searched for him, hoping to say hello and spend a few moments with him before you, yourself, had to leave for a week.

The beach was the last place you could think of to check, and he wasn’t here.

You threw your arms up as a particularly nasty wave crashed against the distant rocks. Even the North Sea seemed to be taunting you.

Turning on your heel, you stomped back towards your horse.

“Fine…” you mumbled to yourself. “If he doesn’t want to see me, then he won’t.”

*****

You found Elide waiting with Lorcan and the wagon that the three of you would be taking on your travels.

“Surprised lover boy isn’t joining you.” Lorcan spoke, drawing you from your thoughts.

“No idea where he is.” You shrugged, climbing in and turning to offer Elide your hand. “Let’s go before we lose anymore daylight.”

“You don’t want to say goodbye?” Elide asked, accepting the hand you offered to help her up.

“He didn’t bother saying hello.” You shrugged. “So, he doesn’t get a goodbye.”

Lorcan snorted and rounded the wagon to take his own seat. The two of you got settled as he took over the reigns. With a nod from Elide, the three of you were off.

“Are you okay?” Elide asked, patting your knee.

“I have never been better.” You plastered a fake grin on your lips that you hoped was convincing.

The look she shot you said that it was exactly the opposite.

*****

Dorian’s castle hadn’t changed since the last time you had been here. Chaol greeted you at the door, a warm smile on his lips as he pulled you into a hug. You searched around for Yrene, but he shook his head.

“She’s tending to the baby.” Chaol could barely contain his excitement.

“I will have to visit before we leave.” You said into his shoulder.

“Yes, you will. Yrene will have your head if you don’t.” He released you and you nodded. “Dorian is in the throne room.”

You patted his shoulder in thanks as you passed.

The greetings shared between the other two and Chaol were muffled as you rounded the corner. The double doors that led to the throne room had been left wide open, and Dorian sat atop his throne, examining his nails.

You cleared your throat as you entered, and his head snapped up. The grin that pulled at his lips was contagious, and, before you could stop it, you were grinning back.

“Hello, Y/N.” He strode to you in a few steps and pulled you into a bone crushing hug.

“Hello, your majesty.” You made to bow, but he laughed, pulling you back up by the arm.

“Seems we have much to discuss, old friend.” Dorian gestured towards the door behind you. “Shall we?”

*****

The time spent with Dorian was short lived, and you found yourself dreading the ride home.

You knew once you arrived in Terrasen, Fenrys would be there. He would demand why you hadn’t said goodbye, and there would surely be an argument.

“You seemed pretty sure of your decision to leave without saying goodbye a week ago.” Lorcan said, snapping the reigns.

The horses moved with a jolt, and you reached out an arm to steady Elide. You weren’t sure how Lorcan always seemed to know what you were thinking.

“I was.” You responded, “but now I’m not so sure it was the right choice.”

*****

Dawn had just broken when the three of you arrived. The wheels and hooves seemed to echo in the quiet streets of Terrasen, and you groaned.

“Can’t we just walk the rest of the way? We’re surely waking up every living thing from here to Eyllwe.” You said, crossing your arms over your chest.

“What do you suggest I do? Leave the horses in the middle of town?” Lorcan snapped.

You rolled your eyes, and Elide giggled at the two of you. You and Lorcan always fought, though neither of you wished bad on the other.

“We will be there soon.” She said with a shake of her head. “Then you two can get a good nights rest.”

You knew he’d hear you, that he had been waiting for the sound of hooves on stone. You could practically feel his anger down your mating bond. With a shudder, you wrapped your arms around yourself.

*****

You had been right, not that you had doubted yourself. As you pulled into the gates of Aelin’s home, you caught glimpse of a white wolf sitting in the courtyard. Your heart dropped at the sight of him.

Elise reached over, giving your leg a quick squeeze and Lorcan brought the wagon to a stop.

“Good luck, Y/N.” Elide said as she stood. “Looks like you’re going to need it.” She glanced over your shoulder and you didn’t need to turn around to know who she was looking at.

Lorcan helped Elide onto the ground, and the two of them made quick work of getting inside.

You huffed out a breath, trying to reign in your heartbeat. Fenrys was glaring holes through the back of your head.

“A simple ‘welcome home’ would suffice.” You said, finally standing and climbing out of the wagon. He was at your side in seconds.

“A simple ‘goodbye’ would have been better.” He growled, helping you to the ground.

The second your feet touched stone, you pulled out of his grasp. Hurt flashed in his eyes before he trained his face into something impassive.

“Would have said goodbye if I had been able to find you.” You mumbled.

He took a step towards you, but you stepped away from him again.

“I didn’t even know you were leaving. I had to find out from Aedion. Aelin wouldn’t even tell me where you went off to.”

“Aelin has some sense, then.” You rolled your eyes before setting off towards you home.

“Did you have fun with Dorian?” He spat, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Oh yeah. Loads of fun.” You pushed past him to start the short journey to your home. “Really wore me out.”

He let out a low growl. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Fenrys had an awful jealous streak, and for a moment, you felt guilty at the implication that you had made. But you steeled your nerves before you turned back to him.

“Where were you?” You couldn’t keep your voice from cracking.

He only stared at you, his brows furrowed.

“I looked everywhere. I even went to the beach.” You shook your head.

“You obviously didn’t look hard enough.”

Your lips parted in surprise at his response. You and Fenrys never fought. It was rare that the two of you even got mad at each other. As passionate and intense as you both were, you were also soft and gentle with each other. Your tempers were normally reserved for other people or training.

“I’m going to bed.” You turned on your heel again, “find somewhere else to stay for a few days.”

He didn’t follow, and you struggled to keep the tears from falling as you ran the rest of the way home.

*****

It had been five days. Five days for you to think, think again and then over think the interaction that got you to this point.

You knew you had been too sensitive, and that you had overreacted, but your pride wouldn’t let you admit it to Fenrys. Even if he was gazing at you across the training ring with regret and longing.

As upset as he had been, he had honored your wishes for him to stay away for awhile. You had run into each other a few times in the past few days, and you had a hunch that Aelin and Rowan were doing all they could to force the two of you into the same room.

“Y/N, Fenrys.” Aedion called out, “Aelin would like an audience with you.”

You nodded, setting the wooden sword you had been practicing with to the side and nodding at Gavriel. He offered a small smile and turned to Lorcan to continue his training.

Fenrys hesitated for a moment, his eyes never leaving your retreating form as you crossed the room towards Aedion.

“Are you coming?” You asked, stopping by the door, finally meeting his gaze over your shoulder.

“Oh.” He scrambled to catch up with you. “Yeah, I’m coming.”

*****

When you got to the throne room, the two of you stopped as he knocked.

“Do you have any idea what she wants?” You asked, leaning a shoulder against the wall as you waited for permission to enter.

“No idea.” He shook his head.

“Hmm.” Was your only response.

You examined him. He looked tired, as if he hadn’t been sleeping. The thought of his restless nights tugged at your heart, but you quickly shook the thought from your mind. You were mad at him, you reminded yourself.

“How are you?” He asked, avoiding your eyes.

“I’m great. You?”

He cleared his throat, and you knew him well enough to know that he was struggling to form an answer that didn’t sound what he thought was absolutely pathetic. You hoped he would tell you he missed you.

He settled on, “I’ve been better.”

Before you could respond, Rowan opened the door, beckoning the two of you into the room.

“Hello, Rowan.” You greeted as you stepped past him.

Aelin sat atop her throne, watching as the two of you with a blank expression. It made your hands sweat.

“Good morning.” She said, her queen voice coming out in full force.

“Good morning, your majesty.” You said, and Fenrys bowed.

Aelin chuckled and motioned for you two to come closer.

“I have a task for the two of you.” Aelin started. “You leave as soon as you can pack a bag.”

You both froze. “What will we be doing?” He asked.

“There seems to be some unease near the mountains. Something about bandits attacking travelers. I need the two of you to take care of it.” Rowan nodded as he joined her, standing behind her throne.

“Just the two of us?” You asked.

“Will that be a problem?” Rowan asked, irritation lacing his voice.

“No, of course not.” You shook your head.

“We have a horse waiting in the stables for you,” Aelin said, “You’re free to go. I expect to hear that you’ve left within the next twenty minutes.”

You both nodded before turning to leave.

“I need to come by for some of my things.” He murmured.

“I expected as much.” You replied, shutting the door to the throne room behind you.

*****

An hour later, the two of you were atop the horse, and several miles from the city. The ride so far had been dreadfully quiet. Having him pressed up against you like this was making it harder to be angry with him.

You adjusted yourself in the saddle, and he chuckled behind you.

“You’re going to be in for a rough trip if you’re already uncomfortable.” He said, his breath fanning over the back of your neck.

“The saddle isn’t the problem.” You snapped back.

“I stand by my sentiment.” He tightened his hold on you.

“They only gave us one horse on purpose.” You pouted. You were aware you sounded like a child, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care.

“Most likely. They’re getting sick of having me in the castle.”

“You’ve been staying at the castle?”

“I have.” He cleared his throat, “not quite the same as our bed, but I suppose it could be worse.”

You nodded, leaning back into him ever so slightly. You missed the way his arms felt around you.

“All you have to do is ask me to come back.” He whispered.

“Maybe I don’t want you to come back.” You said, but he only chuckled. The sound rattled around in your head. 

“Your body says otherwise, my love.”

You shook your head, moving as far away from him as you could when you were sharing a saddle. “Knock it off. I’m still mad at you.”

*****

That evening, the two of you stopped to set up camp. The rest of the ride had been silent, and you were growing more and more agitated as time went on. He seemed perfectly content and happy to sit in silence, though, and that made you even more upset.

“Would you mind helping to set up camp? Or would you rather glare at me for the rest of the night?” He asked, his back still facing you.

You didn’t answer, and after a few heartbeats, he sighed.

“We should talk,” he said.

“Why? You seem perfectly happy acting as though nothing has happened.”

“Y/N…” he pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Where were you?” You asked, “the day you came back… after you reported to Aelin. Where were you?”

“I was with Aedion. Ironically enough, he and Lysandra got into a spat, and he needed an ear and a shoulder.” He shrugged. “I didn’t know you were leaving until he asked me if I was going to say goodbye to you.”

“I looked everywhere for you.” You said.

“I was still in the castle.” He said, “and by the time I came to find you, you were gone.”

“I’m sorry I left without saying goodbye.” You whispered.

“And I’m sorry I didn’t come find you sooner.” He said, taking a step closer to you.

“And I’m sorry for cursing your existence on our favorite beach.” You grinned at him as he belted out a laugh.

His laugh. It was like music to your ears. It was something that you missed dearly, and now you were so grateful that you got to hear it again. The brief chuckles on the horse were nothing compared to this.

“C’mere, my love.” He opened his arms.

You flung your arms around him and pressed a kiss to his lips. He pulled you as close as he could, and kissed you back.

When he pulled away, humor was dancing in his eyes. “You’re impossible, you know that?”

“But you love me anyway.” You replied, pressing another kiss to his lips.

“You’re right. I do love you anyway.” His answering grin made a blush creep to your cheeks.

“So...” you started, glancing once at his lips. “What should we do to make up for the last three weeks apart?”

“I can think of a few things.” He pressed another kiss to your lips.

You swore to yourself that you would never spend that much time away from him again.

[throneofsapphics]

get up off the roof

Fenrys x f!Reader 

Summary: “There’s one person who could probably get through to her.” Rowan spoke carefully as if he was treading on dangerous water with his mate.

“They haven’t spoken in weeks.” She snapped. You felt bile rise in your throat, and decided eavesdropping was a very bad idea, so you fled silently back down the hall. 

Word Count: ~2k 

Warnings: grief, death of a parent, angst-ish, comfort if you squint

A/N: I should be working on my kinktober list, but this is what came out instead. 

Your breaths were heavy as you stood on the roof, your bare toes curling over the edge. The shingles were rough under your feet, and it took much of your focus to keep yourself balanced on the slope. Your heels dug in, and you let yourself lean back just enough to keep you from falling off the edge. It was a scorching summer day, and the rough material burned the soles of your feet, the sun heating through your clothes and leaving an uncomfortable warmth on your skin. 

It was only two stories up, if it didn’t work you’d still survive - maybe a bit bruised and with a few broken bones, but you were frustrated enough to get desperate. Ever since … that … your magic had been stifled, and you could barely reach it. Losing both of your parents a week of each other, the ones who taught you to love your magic and heritage in secret. Who provided you with unconditional support and love. Your magic felt intertwined with their memory, and every time you tried to reach for it, it shrunk further back as if the grief was too strong. It had been nearly a month, and it was slowly driving you insane. 

If anything, a situation that appears to be life threatening might bring it out of you. 

You thought you heard someone calling your name, far off in the distance, but shoved it away. Chances are nobody was there, you were always careful with the times you let yourself suffer, let your emotions reign free. 

Then, you were falling through the air as your heels pushed off the roof. Your body curled on instinct, and you hit the gods-damned bush. It hadn’t worked. 

“Are you insane?” You heard Aelin’s yell from the doorway, as she sprinted out towards the courtyard. Someone had been there. You cursed audibly, not at the pain but at the explanation you’d have to give now, and the pity that would follow. Pity made you feel as if you were shriveling inside, your entire body recoiling.

She gripped under your elbow, tugging you up to stand. Her eyes quickly traced your body, noting the small scratch on your elbow with a frown. Besides that, you were completely fine. Physically. 

“What the fuck were you thinking?” Despite the expletive, her voice was a bit softer. 

“I was ..” pressure built around your throat, choking you and stopping any more words from coming out. You couldn’t figure out how to explain it, even if you wanted to. Aelin tugged her bottom lip between her teeth. 

“Let’s get you inside.”

She wrapped an arm around your shoulders, holding tightly like you might disappear at any moment. Could you keep her from telling anyone else? Especially a specific someone who would lose their damn mind, despite them having no claim to you, and no desire to. Aelin would probably feel obligated as both your friend and theirs. You leaned your head against her shoulder with a sigh. If she wanted to, there was nothing you could do about it. 

A crow cawed in the distance and you felt a shudder run down your spine.  

She bundled you inside, and right off to her rooms where she started making tea. At least she kept it in her rooms and didn’t force you down to the kitchens. You probably looked an absolute mess, you could feel the leaves tangled in your hair and knew the bags under your eyes were likely a deep purple by now. 

You scented him moments before he entered, and let out a low curse. Aelin turned to you in alarm, and quickly walked towards the door but he’d flung it open before you could react. 

He stood in the doorway for a few moments, and you slowly turned to face him, despite your best efforts. 

“Take a tumble?” He raised his brows. 

“Get out.” Aelin snapped, shoving his chest back. He slowly backed out of the door, and you saw his eyes widen as the Queen slammed the door in his face. 

“Y/n,” Aelin’s voice was quiet, and drew your attention away from the heavy oak door. She was in front of you, shoving a warm cup into her hands. She crouched in front of you, silently healing the scrape on your elbow. Aelin sighed as she looked at you, and you had the sudden urge to throw the hot liquid in her face. But, that would be a very ungrateful thing to do. And assaulting the Queen of your country, even if she was a friend, was a bad idea. The doorknob rattled, and you heard a pounding on the door. Pine and snow, you registered that. Aelin rolled her eyes and shot you an apologetic look. 

She cracked it open just enough to speak to Rowan in hushed tones, low enough even your Fae hearing couldn’t pick up on it. 

Instead, you studied the mug in your hands, remembering a grounding technique. Warm from the liquid inside, the base was white, a lord of the north painted on one side. A small chip on the handle. You ran your thumb over it, it was a small dip in the porcelain, insignificant enough you never would’ve noticed it if you hadn’t been looking. But, you’d learned over the years that if you studied anything too long you would notice every little thing that was wrong. People and objects alike.  

“What were you trying to do?” Aelin drew you out of your reverie. 

The words, you could get just enough words out to tell her. Out of anyone, she might understand. “Get my magic back.” 

“There’s better ways to -”

You cut her off, “other ways haven’t worked.” You said harshly. 

Aelin let out a slow breath and studied you. As always, you felt like she tore through every damn layer of you - seeing right to the core. You were too alike in some ways, and could always call each other out on bullshit. “Try and let it come back on it’s own.” 

You’d tried. You’d fucking tried but it was miserable to not be able to access that part of yourself, the part that had disappeared for ten damned years and you didn’t want to spend a day longer without it. 

“Do you think talking about them would help?” She settled down next to you on the couch, legs crossed under her and turned to face you. 

You chewed on your bottom lip. You’d avoided thinking or talking about them as much as possible, figuring that would shove the pain and grief away and eventually it would disappear on its own. “Not yet.” 

You felt her disappointment, and ignored that too. 

-

“I don’t know how to help her.” Your best friend's soft voice floated through the open door. 

This was a conversation you weren’t meant to overhear, you knew that for certain. Besides, you didn’t need help, you just needed time. 

“There’s one person who could probably get through to her.” Rowan spoke carefully as if he was treading on dangerous water with his mate.

“They haven’t spoken in weeks.” She snapped. You felt bile rise in your throat, and decided eavesdropping was a very bad idea, so you fled silently back down the hall. 

-

Maybe it was punishment, or her form of protecting you but Aelin dragging you to state meetings made your head want to explode. If she could, she’d probably try to stay in your room with you. Either her or Rowan had been trailing after you constantly. Like two overbearing and fussy shadows. 

“I’m not a risk to myself.” You finally snapped one night. 

“Really?” Aelin matched your pitch and tone. “Because I watched my best friend jump off the gods-damned roof.” 

“You killed the gods.” 

“And if you died I’d bring you back to kill you myself.” She was almost yelling at this point. 

“Awe, you do love me.” You teased her, de-escalating and dodging the earlier topic. 

Aelin shot a long suffering look towards Rowan, who only looked on amusedly. 

“You could talk to him.” The bastard said. Aelin shot him a nasty look this time as you froze in place. 

“Rowan,” she growled at him, before looking back to you apologetically. 

“Or he could talk to me.” You said stiffly. 

“Because that’s worked so well, hasn’t it?” 

You forgot how much of an asshole he can be, and told him so. He only said to come up with more creative names for him before you stormed out of the room. It was a small mercy that they let you have your tantrum in peace, staying back in their rooms. If they had followed you this time you probably would have thrown something at them. 

You were stewing in your anger and barely paying attention to where you were going as your subconscious guided you on muscle-memory. Right to your roof. You didn’t stand at the edge this time, in fact you sat several feet behind, on a flatter area and far back enough any busy bodies would assume you’re just relaxing. You carefully lowered yourself down on your back to stare up at the stars. A crow landed next to you, peering at you with uncanny eyes. 

“Hello,” you muttered. They seemed to follow you everywhere and you couldn’t decide if it was an omen or not. To your surprise, the animal cawed in response. “I’m going to assume that's a friendly greeting.” 

The bird ruffled its feathers, still staring at you. “If I didn’t know better,” you continued, “I’d assume you’re a Fae or Shifter. 

You heard a snort coming from a few feet away and the animal took off with a screech. There’s only one person who can sneak up on you like that. 

“If I said to fuck off would you actually leave?” You didn’t bother looking at him. 

“Probably not.” The air shifted around you, and when you turned your head he was laying next to you, only a foot or so away. If you reached your arm out you could touch him. 

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” 

“Do I need a reason to come see you?” He let out an edged chuckle, and you turned your head back to the night sky, searching for the lord of the north. 

“If I say yes will you be offended?” 

“So many questions.” He tutted. That is a yes, then. “They’re worried.” Your chest tightened and blood heated. Anger rolled from you in waves. They had no right to go spreading your business, telling whoever the hell they wanted …

“I can see it on their faces, the way they’re acting.” He continued, probably sensing the emotions rising in you like a dangerous wave, battering at the dams of your already fragile self control. “I haven’t asked any questions.” 

In your grief, he pulled further away from you. At a time when you needed him the most, he disappeared. You couldn’t figure out why the hell he decided to show up now, now that you were inches away from rock bottom. 

“Where have you been?” You tried not to sound accusatory but failed miserably. 

For once, he didn’t have a snarky response or reply to it. Instead, he reached for you. You didn’t move, but didn’t fight him as he tugged your hand into his. Your friend, the friend that had started to turn into more, just weeks before everything happened. 

“I’m sorry.” His thumb ran across your knuckles, and his hand tightened around yours, interlacing your fingers. 

“Y/n,” you heard a shout from your balcony. “Get off the roof!” Aelin was screaming, nearly at the top of her lungs. You should’ve known eventually. 

“You can join us or you can leave.” Fenrys yelled back at her, saving you from having to do it. 

A quiet, “oh,” came from below you, and you heard your balcony door shut. 

“My savior,” you teased, the words coming out naturally. 

“Glad to be of service.” His grin shone through his words, and when you turned the moon cast the perfect light over his face, highlighting all of his features. Onyx eyes captured your own, and his hair seemed to glow in the light. Like a bright light calling you in. You squeezed his hand once. 

“My knight in shining armor.” 

[allyjoe755]

These Small Hours

fenrys x reader

A/N: Chosen by polls. If you would like another poll-chosen story, like/reblog/comment below

Word Count: 513

Warnings: slight PTSD.

o-o-o

You woke up to screams.

Big, horrible, gasping shrieks in the middle of the night.

Your eyes snapped open as adrenaline filled your chest, quickly spreading to the rest of your body.

Oh, Gods, please, no—

Lying beside you, Fenrys’ eyes were screwed shut, his cheeks wet with tears, his body dampened by sweat. His fingers raked across the sheets of the bed, his chest heaving with large breaths.

In your chest, your heart tore ever so slightly.

You placed a hand on Fenrys’ shoulder, your thumb moving back and forth.

“Fenrys,” you began softly. “Fenrys, it’s alright.” 

You scooted closer to him, wrapping an arm around his torso.

“Fenrys, it’s just a dream. Fenrys.”

Even in his sleep, he shuffled to wrap an arm around you. It helped. His breathing was still quick and ragged, but slowly and surely, it was slowing. His cries were softer now. They would fade soon enough, you knew.

It helped to not wake him up during times like these. You had learned that the hard way, when you, not having experienced this before, had in a panic shaken him awake– causing his panic to grow, small injuries to occur, for him to lose substantial sleep for nearly a week.

You had apologized profusely for weeks after. Fenrys had only said that it was his fault the nightmares happened in the first place.

But it wasn’t his fault. It wasn’t, and it had taken months to convince him of that. Even now, you were sure there were times when he still doubted. That was alright. You knew that it would take time.

Just like this. It had taken you so many times, so many sleepless nights, so many tears, to realize how to best support Fenrys when nights like these came.

So, for now, you just let your head rest on Fenrys’ chest. His cries had ended. You listened to his heartbeat slow back to an even, steady, calm rhythm. Your own body calmed down from its abrupt awakening as Fenrys breathed in and out, in and out.

Perhaps, in the morning, he would tell you what he had dreamt– the terrors that had visited him in the night. There were days he would, and days he wouldn’t. You didn’t push him.

He would heal in his own time. For now, you would walk alongside him through it.

In his sleep, Fenrys ran his hand down your arm until he found your hand. He squeezed it.

“I’m here,” you whispered back. You weren’t sure, if through his sleep, he heard you. In fact, you were quite positive that he couldn’t. Even still, you spoke the words– said them out loud, even if it was just to remind yourself that you weren’t going anywhere.

The man beside you was broken, and bruised, but it didn’t make him any less whole. It didn’t make him any less loved.

You pressed a kiss to the skin above Fenrys’ heart.

It didn’t make him any less capable of love.

“I’m here,” you repeated, before allowing yourself to fall back into sleep.

[leiawritesstories]

PART EIGHT: AUGUST

Word count: 6.2k

Warnings: oh god swearing, scheming, angst, implied/referenced smut, mentions of grief, short depiction of a funeral, more scheming, Maeve, and angst (xoxo, Frederick)

all the thanks to @house-of-galathynius & @mariaofdoranelle for being the best betas ever <3

enjoy ;) i'm so sorry

Masterlist

Read on AO3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fenrys’s memorial was held on a brilliantly sunny, warm morning in early August. The sky was clear, pure cerulean, not a single wisp of cloud scuffling across its expanse, a mockingly cheerful backdrop for the somber group of people gathered in the cemetery. It was almost as if Fenrys Moonbeam, ever one to flash his blindingly bright grin in the wrong situations, had sent an especially bright day as a last vestige of himself. 

Standing rigid and stoic-faced in his full Terrasen Special Forces dress uniform, Rowan was flanked by Gavriel, also in full uniform, on his right and Aelin, in a simple black dress and heels, on his left. Her slender fingers were linked closely with his, her simple touch and her steady presence lending him the strength he desperately needed to hold himself together. For the moment, his theories were suspended, and they were just Rowan and Aelin, just two people mourning the loss of a dear friend. 

When he’d found out about Fen… Rowan barely had clear memories from that night, but he did remember one thing—Aelin. Her voice on the other end of his phone, holding him together. He’d raced to the Gal Inc lab complex after receiving a call from one of the lab’s security guards, and he’d stormed through that building, the room tilting and blurring the moment he stepped inside, caught a lungful of that sharp, scorching chemical scent, saw the ruined form on the ground, and known he was too late. 

His call to Aelin was one of pure desperation, and she was the only way he’d made it home. 

Gav lifted his chin slightly, and Rowan gently loosened his fingers from Aelin’s grasp and stepped up beside his commander. Beside the simple bronze urn. On Aelin’s other side, Aedion Ashryver linked his arm through hers, the cousins acting as each other’s support. 

“We thank Lieutenant Fenrys Alastair Moonbeam for his service, and we commend his soul to the Afterlife.” Gav pronounced the words solemnly, his voice only slightly wavering, and he and Rowan carefully, reverently, lifted the urn into its open mausoleum. Rowan held his salute until Gav had placed the headstone, then stepped back to Aelin’s side. 

The gentle squeeze of her hand spoke louder than any words. I am here. I am with you. 

As the small group of people began to disperse, Rowan lingered, taking a quiet moment to lay his gloved hand on the headstone and silently scream. Dammit, Moonbeam, it was never supposed to be you! 

“It’s already quieter,” Aelin murmured, coming to stand next to him. 

Rowan nodded, throat bobbing thickly. “I’ll never get used to it.” 

“I know.” She leant into his side, her unspoken sorrow recognizing his grief. “I love you, Rowan, you know.” 

“I love you too.” He slipped his arm around her waist, partially for comfort and partially for support as they walked away from the mausoleum, the bright summer sun beaming down upon the stone and tile. 

~

“Can I ask you something, love?” Rowan wasn’t even the smallest bit ashamed to admit he was laying on his girlfriend’s comfortable couch wearing sweats and an old t-shirt, his head in her lap, her fingers running soothingly through his cropped hair. 

“Anything.” Aelin brushed her touch down the slope of his cheekbone, thumb stroking his jaw. 

“How do…how did you know Fen?” 

She swallowed, her eyes going distant for a moment. “Gav introduced us; you know how my dear uncle likes to meddle in my love life.” She chuckled. “Fenrys was…the first TSF man that I felt like I could be myself with, you know? He wasn’t a stiff-backed soldier, and he wasn’t lecherous, just flirty.” 

“He was good at that,” Rowan agreed. 

“Granted, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen Fenrys—probably not since my company’s Christmas party, and Gav was busy parading men in front of me for most of that event.” A soft, sad smile curled the corners of her lips. “He could always make me laugh.” 

“Fen made everyone laugh.” Rowan sat up, moving so he could pull Aelin into his lap and wrap his arms around her. “Gav complained about it, but he was never going to stop it.” 

Aelin relaxed into Rowan’s embrace, the tension that normally lined her spine loosening, allowing her to sink into his warmth. She didn’t say anything else, but the soul-deep compassion he saw in her turquoise gaze burrowed into his heart, warming the coldness of grief. He kissed the top of her head gently, softly, and ran his open hands up and down her back. 

She didn’t know how much time passed there, in comfortable silence, before she spoke again. “Will you write him into your tattoos?” 

“Of course.” Rowan had told Aelin the story of his tattoos a few months ago, on a balmy spring evening when the two of them were sprawled in each other’s arms sans clothing. He gave her the stories behind the symbols, the meaning behind the ink he wore on his skin. In return, she told him about the dragon on her back, the piece a work of bold, fearless, unconquerable power, the image of a leader who was unafraid to spew fire if necessary. Her tattoo was a unique piece; she and her artist had worked on designing it for months before she got the tattoo done. 

“Good.” She traced the fluid script on his chest. “He…no one should die so young.” She knew her words hinted at something beyond the friendship she’d mentioned, but she also knew she couldn’t just brush off Rowan’s questions. She had known Fenrys, and she’d been close with him. Celaena had been close with him. 

She only hoped that Rowan wouldn’t discover Fenrys and Celaena’s ties for a long, long time. 

~

Connall Moonbeam stood opposite the Queen of the Night and willed his expression to remain unruffled despite the gaping hole in his heart. 

“Does it truly not concern you at all, ma’am, that my brother died?” He kept his question as neutral as possible, aiming his concern not at his brother, but at the coldhearted woman who’d sent Fenrys to his death. 

Maeve hummed noncommittally. “There are certain risks involved with infiltrating a highly secure, tightly guarded space, particularly when that space is owned by a criminal who is jealous of her silly little tech. Fenrys knew and accepted those risks.” 

Con gritted his teeth. “Certain risks? We had planned that he would be able to bypass all of the known traps, even the final one.” 

“Clearly, that final security measure was altered. Sardothien most likely anticipated that there would be attempts made to steal her inventions.” Maeve fixed her icy violet gaze onto Con. “As it stands, we know that there is a trap rigged within the storage compartment itself, so that will need to be disabled when we return to the labs to take what we came for.” 

“Do you think it will be a simple task?” You can’t kill her yet, he told himself. Not. Yet. 

She shrugged. “Perhaps. But perhaps not. Sardothien is young, but she is not inexperienced.” 

“Obviously.” Con put more sarcasm into that word than he’d intended. 

Maeve arched one dark brow. “Connall, do you require some time alone? To plan, perhaps?” Her question seemed polite, but ice underlaid it. 

“I believe I do, ma’am. Forgive me.” He dipped his head, and when she dismissed him, he left her office, quietly closing the door behind himself, and strode down the hallways to his small, simple, blessedly private room. He gave himself exactly five minutes to silently rage before he pulled his burner phone from his jacket pocket and dialed Celaena Sardothien. 

She picked up almost immediately. “Con?” 

“Boss.” He didn’t bother trying to mask the pain in his voice. “She’s going to stage another break-in at the labs. It’s barely been two weeks since my—since Fen—since my brother was buried.” Although his room was soundproof, he was careful to keep his words just vague enough for anyone who might be listening to assume he was speaking about Sardothien. Everyone knew the Boss was Maeve’s next target, so it made sense for her men to be discussing her schemes. 

“I know.” Celaena’s voice was uncharacteristically gentle, nothing like the Boss’s typical commanding tone. “What’s she changing?” 

“She thinks she can disarm the trap that…the bomb rigged in the storage compartment.” 

“First of all,” Celaena drawled, “it’s not a bomb. I’m not a goddamn brute. Secondly, what do you want to do to counteract her plans?” 

“Boss?” Con was confused. 

She sighed. “Con, you’re thinking of a way to stop Maeve, aren’t you?” 

“Never a day when I don’t think about driving my knife through her throat.” 

“Alright. So, what do you think you can do—reasonably and subtly, because Maeve isn’t going to be easy to assassinate. Trust me. I’ve been scheming about how to do that for years.” 

“Well, there’s always controlled doses of non-lethal poisons. You know, things that gradually weaken a victim but aren’t deadly. It’s the kind of thing that’s usually used when you’re trying to get the victim to a point where they’re easy to kill.” Con was half thinking out loud, but the plan took shape as he spoke. 

“Do you have access to that kind of poison?” 

“Yes.” 

“Good.” Celaena paused, and Con swore he could hear the Boss’s thoughts whirring. “Get her weak enough that you can easily tranquilize her and bring her to the river warehouse. I’ll let you do the honors there, if you want.” 

“Believe me,” Con all but growled, “there is nothing I want more. She sent my brother to die.” 

“Understood.” Papers rustled on Celaena’s end of the call. “Keep me posted, yeah?” 

“Of course.” Click. The call ended. 

Con took a deep, controlled breath, tucked his phone back in his pocket, and strolled out of his room, heading for the storage rooms. Maeve’s men were used to seeing him in that part of the building, since most of his work required supplies, so nobody batted an eye when he walked in. It only took a few minutes to find a bottle of the stuff he needed, and he plucked it off the shelf and tucked it into his sleeve. 

It would probably take at least another two months, but Maeve would fall. 

He owed that debt to his brother. 

~

Aelin snapped her laptop closed with a frustrated huff and ran her hands through her loose braid. Gods. Only halfway through August, and she felt like she was being run ragged. She had a seller up her ass for a shipment that was one day delayed, her PR team kept asking when she was going to give that interview she’d promised to the Orynth Morning Show, Orynth PD and the TSF kept wanting to talk to her, and as if work wasn’t enough, she had a Boss crisis to deal with. 

Because some asshole had gone and leaked Fenrys’s apartment to PD. 

There were two security cameras at the Boss’s apartment, one at the front and the other at the back window, and Aelin got notified anytime one of the cameras picked up some suspicious activity. She had checked the camera feed two days ago and found, for lack of a better term, a shitload of cops crawling around the building. They were there for Fen’s apartment, but…she was only one floor below. 

It was enough to make her already-bad insomnia worse. 

Breaking through Aelin’s drifting thoughts, Elide knocked three times on Aelin’s office door and stuck her head in. “Hey.” 

“Hey, Ells.” Aelin snapped herself back into work mode. “Is someone here?” 

“You could say that,” Elide grumbled. “Some TSF grouch says he’s supposed to meet with you.” 

Aelin raised a brow. “How about I come out to the main office and chat?” 

“Sure.” Elide walked with Aelin out to the more open main area, where there was indeed a grouchy, scowling, massively tall man wearing a TSF jacket slouched against Elide’s desk. 

He raised his dark brows into an expression of utter indifference. “Is this conversation going to happen in front of just anyone?” 

Elide’s dark eyes narrowed into a sharp glare. “I work for Aelin.” 

“You her cute little secretary?” Aelin could have sworn some kind of amusement crinkled the soldier’s face. 

“Chief Operations Officer, actually. Gal Inc. couldn’t run without me.” She spoke lightly, but Aelin sensed some inexplicable kind of…tension…between the two. 

“Mhmm. And I’m the god of the sun,” the soldier deadpanned. 

“You’re just another disposable soldier, Salvaterre,” Elide returned, almost viciously. Salvaterre. That would make him Rowan’s captain…Lorcan. 

Lorcan Salvaterre bristled. “I’m a ranking officer of the TSF.” 

“And if you die on duty, you’ll be just another plaque in the ground,” Elide said sweetly. “Isn’t that what you just said about your supposed TSF brother?” She fixed Lorcan with the stare she used when she was bending investors to her will. 

“Ummm…” To Aelin’s concealed shock, Lorcan actually blushed, stumbling for words, scratching the back of his neck. “In hindsight, that was callous of me.” 

“You could say that.” Dismissively, Elide turned back to her computer. “Oh, Aelin is here. You said something about a meeting?” 

Lorcan stood sharply up and, instinctively, saluted. “Salvaterre here.” 

“The consummate soldier.” Aelin smothered her laughter. “I wasn’t aware I had any kind of meeting scheduled with the TSF today, Captain.” 

“You can call me Lorcan,” he muttered. “And, uh, Whitethorn sent me.” 

“He didn’t tell me anything.” 

“My god—” Lorcan grumbled under his breath. “I can show you the text if you want, but he didn’t tell me shit either. Just ‘go ask if Galathynius knows anything about Fen’s apartment.’ Fuck if I know what he meant by that.” 

“You might want to remember that you’re in public,” Elide interjected, critiquing Lorcan’s uncensored language. 

He scoffed. “I’m a soldier, Li, like you so astutely observed. Soldiers cuss.” 

Salvaterre has a nickname for Elide?! Aelin forcibly tamped down her questions. “I’m afraid I have no idea what on earth my boyfriend meant, either. I’m sorry.” 

“I knew you were going to say that. Screw Whitethorn for making me do this.” Lorcan frowned, which seemed to be his usual expression. “Alright, if that’s it, I don’t need to be here.” He turned on his heel with a soldier’s precision and strode out of the office, trying to mask the brief, intense glance he threw at Elide as he left. Clearly, Rowan hadn’t told him how observant Aelin could be. 

When he was out of sight, Aelin braced her hands on Elide’s desk and stared at the petite brunette until she turned around, her face carefully blank. “So how long have you two been fucking?” 

Elide flushed bright pink. “Aelin!” She swatted the taller woman. “That’s none of your business.” 

“Not at work, maybe.” Aelin grinned, eagerly drumming her fingers on the desk. “You know I’m going to bother you until I get details, right?” 

“And you’ll get all the details you want when we go out on Friday.” Elide composed herself and flashed a smug little smirk at Aelin. “I’ll only tell you one thing.” 

“Gimme.” 

Elide’s smirk turned wicked. “Last Monday, I worked remotely because I couldn’t walk.” 

“Ells!” Aelin gasped, almost stunned speechless. “Actually, no. I can’t judge.” 

“You sure as hell can’t.” Elide winked as she turned back to her computer. “It’s always the broody, grumpy ones.” 

“Dear god.” Aelin laughed as she walked back to her office. Elide and Salvaterre—she definitely hadn’t seen that coming. 

But the more she thought about it…the more she dreaded what could happen. 

~

Rowan hated the industrial district. 

It didn’t have anything to do with class politics or some bullshit superiority complex, but more with the eerie feeling of being watched he had every time he was in that district. There was also the little fact that one of his recurrent nightmares featured a memory from a training mission gone horribly wrong in this district, but that wasn’t something he intended to address. Typically, when the TSF or Orynth PD had a call for an investigation site down in the industrial sprawl of southeast Orynth, he would dispatch a team and tell them to bring back their report, but he couldn’t push this scene onto anyone else. 

He had to go to Fen’s stakeout apartment in person. 

The creaky, probably mildewing door groaned as Rowan pulled it open and walked into the simple, shitty, one-bedroom apartment that Fenrys had lived in while he worked for Sardothien. There wasn’t much in the place—a dark green couch and a pair of mismatched side tables in the living room, an old, worn dining table with three chairs, some random dishes in the cupboards, a bed with plain gray sheets and an offensively bright pink comforter that was purely Fenrys’s style, a nightstand with two drawers. Rowan was hesitant to open those drawers, knowing too well what Fen always bragged he kept in his room, but to his relief, there wasn’t much in the nightstand. The only things he found were some newspapers, a few knives, one stray bullet casing, and two cheap burner cell phones. 

Two?

He shrugged, assuming Fen had bought another one for backup, pocketed both phones, and left the room. The kitchen, living room, and bathroom were already cleared out thanks to the team, and he tipped his head towards the bedroom, indicating that it was ready for cleanup. 

When the team left the apartment, Rowan had to let Luca be the one to lock the door. He couldn’t bear to see the emptiness, the blank space, the visible mark of absence. Fen’s phones felt like hundred-pound weights in his pocket as he climbed into his SUV and drove away, leaving the industrial district no more than a gritty smear in his rearview mirror. 

Back at his PD office, Rowan placed the cheap prepaid phones on his desk, turning each one over in his hands before he set them down and just stared, wondering what the hell he was supposed to do next. The investigator in him wanted to immediately search through the phones, the soldier in him wanted to just give the phones to Gav and be done with it, and the part of him that was Fen’s friend wanted to lock away all the evidence in a titanium box and bury the key. He dreaded what could happen, what would happen, when he eventually had to turn on the phone and hear Fen’s voicemail. 

As a TSF soldier, Rowan was no stranger to death. Grief, though—that one was new. 

His own phone buzzed, stealing his attention. He picked it up to find an incoming call from Lorcan Salvaterre. Groaning, he answered. 

“What.” 

“Am I supposed to thank you for sending me on some bullshit-ass trip?” Lorcan sounded at least mildly irritated. 

“Don’t see how a legitimate question was bullshit, but sure. You’re welcome.” 

“Fuck off,” Lorcan grumbled. “As for your answer, Galathynius doesn’t—”

“Her name is Aelin,” Rowan snapped. 

On the other end of the call, Lorcan snickered. “Aww, is pretty boy lieutenant a little sensitive about his girlfriend?” 

Rowan was about ten seconds away from punching his captain in the nose. “I don’t give a shit how superior you are to me, jackass, I’ll still kick your ass if you disrespect the woman I love.” 

“Well, turn me over and fuck me raw,” Lorcan drawled. “Whitethorn’s in love. We should check the temperature in hell.” 

“Fucking gods,” Rowan sighed, exasperated. “Yes. I’m in love. Tell me what you and Aelin talked about and then stop wasting my goddamn time.” 

“Fine, fine.” Lorcan snickered some more. “Aelin and I talked for about sixty seconds, fuck you very much for making me ask her that stupid fucking question. I asked if she knew anything about Fen’s apartment, she told me she didn’t fuckin’ know what I was talking about, and her body language and expression and everything else checked out for her telling the truth. So I apologized for you being a dick and making me bother her, and then I left.” 

Rowan grunted in frustration. “Yeah, I believe her too. There’s part of me that wants to keep pushing that suspicion, but I literally have nothing that proves any kind of link. She just mentioned that she sort of knew Fen, once, and I gotta cover my bases.” 

“Makes sense. You could’ve told me that before I had to haul ass over to Gal Inc and bullshit my way past half the staff just to see Aelin Galathynius for two minutes, though.” Lorcan was clearly disgruntled. 

“Where’d the fun be in that?” It was Rowan’s turn to snicker; he rarely got to push Lorcan’s buttons, and the few times he could give the man who was technically his superior a mundane task, he did it with glee. 

“Fucker,” Lorcan grunted. “I’ll kick your damn ass at the gym for that.” 

“And here I thought you had plans and couldn’t work out today. At least, not with me.” Rowan smirked. He had two hundred dollars riding on Lorcan’s “plans” being with a woman, though the tight-lipped asshole would never admit it outright. 

“Turns out my plans are late enough to make the gym. See you there, asshole.” Lorcan hung up. 

Rowan chuckled. There was really nothing like riling up an old friend to get his head off of things that he didn’t want to think about. Speaking of that…he reluctantly picked up one of Fen’s phones and pressed the side button, turning on the small screen. He knew the passcode, so he tapped it in and found the home screen fairly simple, with only a handful of basic apps. The list of contacts was brief and basic. 

Whitethorn. Him, as planned. 

Salvaterre. As a backup contact. 

Help Center. An auto-programmed number for the phone company. 

Boss. That was…surprisingly simple. Rowan’s finger twitched, but there was one more contact. 

Ma’am. That was…confusing. If Sardothien was Boss, why was she also Ma’am? Some kind of ploy to distract anyone who swiped the phone? Some nonexistent fake contact? 

His gut pointed towards the contact called Boss, since he knew from the few times he’d talked to Fen that Sardothien went by “Boss” among her circle of crooks. Hell, Fen had even called her “Boss,” no doubt to keep his cover intact. 

Before he could talk himself out of it, Rowan tapped Boss. The phone rang, five times, before there was a click and a male voice answered. 

“Who’s this?” 

“I need the Boss.” Rowan pitched his voice down to a rasp, his mind whirling in circles as he tried to identify why the fuck a man was answering for Sardothien and why the fuck his voice sounded familiar. 

Computer keys clacked faintly in the background. “Boss can’t talk right now.” 

“Why not?” 

“Boss can’t talk right now,” the man reiterated. “Keep trying.” He hung up. 

That last suggestion sounded distinctly like a threat, mildly voiced but wrapped in something sinister that promised, I will hunt you down and kill you. Rowan shuddered a bit just thinking about it. 

But why was there a man on the other end of that call? 

He sighed, shaking his head sharply. Because Sardothien is a goddamn crime boss, you fucking idiot. Of course she doesn’t answer her phone without security measures. That made sense, except for a few things. First, according to Fen’s info, Sardothien trusted him enough that she would have probably answered the call herself if she’d seen his name. Second, there was something oddly familiar about the other man’s voice, something Rowan couldn’t place. And that bothered the hell out of him. Third, he still hadn’t looked at the other phone. 

Something told him he might have better luck with the other burner. 

He turned on the second phone, which was a near-identical copy of the first, entered the passcode, and opened the contacts. This one was an exact replica of the first contact list, except for one thing. 

Con. 

Fen’s twin brother. 

Fen’s twin brother, who had last been seen over two years ago when he left for the Eastern Continent on what was supposed to be his last deployment with the Terrasen Navy SEAL team. Connall Moonbeam had been declared missing in action eight months after his deployment, and Rowan’s heart broke a little more just seeing Con’s name in Fen’s burner phone. It was a small but infinitely loud reminder of the man Fenrys had been—ever optimistic, always masking his darker emotions beneath a cloud of sunny laughter. 

Before he could drift farther into memories, Rowan pushed away from that contact and tapped on the one called Boss. Once again, the phone rang multiple times before the same man answered and the same conversation happened. Nothing more than Boss can’t talk right now before the guy hung up. 

Something was off. 

And Rowan would get to the damn bottom of it. 

~

“Boss.” The second Aelin picked up, Nox was talking. “He called.” 

“How many times?” As soon as she’d found out that Orynth PD and the TSF had gone through Fen’s apartment, Aelin had given Nox her Boss phone while she was at work. It was less risky for him to answer that phone than for her to accidentally pick up a TSF or PD call at a time when she couldn’t hide behind her Boss disguise. 

“Twice.” Nox was uncharacteristically quiet, no sounds of him working in the background. “Once from each number.” They both knew who he was. Rowan. 

Aelin took a controlled breath. “So he’s been to the apartment.” 

“Yeah, the cops came through on the 21st. I watched the footage.” 

“I wonder why it took them so long to get to the apartment,” Aelin mused, thinking aloud. “Normally, there would be cops crawling around within hours.” 

“I dunno. But Boss?” Nox sounded concerned. 

“Yeah?” 

He huffed a sigh. “I know you aren’t gonna like this, but please, please don’t answer any calls from Fen. I had your Boss phone earlier, so I answered both of them, but if and when Fen tries to call you again, don’t answer. It’s the cops, not him.” 

“I know.” Aelin closed her eyes. “I…thanks for taking those calls when they came, Owens.” 

“No problem, Boss.” Nox resumed typing on his keyboard. “Call me if he starts spamming you, yeah?” 

“Of course.” She hung up. 

If Fen calls, you can’t answer. 

It’s. Not. Him. 

The warning trickled through her blood like ice, cold and heavy. In her mind, Aelin knew that Fenrys couldn’t call her—she might see his name on her screen, but it would never again be Fenrys Moonbeam on the other side. In her heart, though, she still held a tiny spark of hope. There was always the slight chance that Connall could pick up one of the phones and call her. Yes, he had his own burner, but she knew how badly he wanted to collect Fen’s things, and he wasn’t afraid to get onto the wrong side of the law if it meant that he could bring his twin’s possessions home. 

As if her thoughts had summoned him, Connall called, his name lighting up her Boss phone. She answered, but she let him speak first. 

“It’s started.” As always, Con didn’t waste words. 

“What’s the timeline you’re anticipating?” Relieved that it was actually Connall—maybe it made her paranoid, but she was beginning to feel the investigation clamp down around Boss Sardothien—Aelin kicked herself into work mode. 

Con grunted. “Seven, eight weeks. Ideally six to seven weeks, but I don’t know if she’ll have built up any immunity as a protective measure.” 

“True.” Aelin drummed her fingers against the windowsill of her shitty Boss apartment. “I’d be surprised if she hadn’t, but then again, we can’t discount her massive fucking ego.” 

“Huh?” 

She’d forgotten that Connall didn’t know too much about Maeve’s past. “She was Hamel’s lover for years. You can’t do that without an ego the size of the goddamn sun.” 

“Well, shit.” Con hummed softly, probably scheming. “That explains why she pretty much just sits in her plush little seat all day, convinced that nobody can come and get her when she’s so far elevated above the rabble.” 

“Accurate description,” Aelin chuckled. “Right. I trust you, Con. Update me if anything significant happens, yeah?” 

“Sure, Boss. Will do.” Con hung up. 

Aelin sighed, tucking away the Boss phone. She turned back to the window and stared out over the Orynth skyline, murky as it was from the constant clouds of vapors that the warehouses and factories down in this district churned out. To tell the truth, she was counting down the days before she could stop having to live in this shitbox apartment, but she had to keep it for Celaena’s purposes. 

She’d give just about anything to move all of her shit out and erase Celaena’s presence from the crappy building, but there would be too many questions. Also, this place was conveniently close to the docks and the industrial sector of Orynth, both of which were key to her less-than-legal business. 

And nobody cared if she walked out of the building with a gun on her hip. 

Still…the ghosts that now clung to this building weighed down upon Aelin like a suit of iron, intangible but oppressively present. Now that the cops were done crawling all over the damn place, she felt safe enough to stay at the apartment occasionally, but she was triple-checking the locks and the security measures to make sure she didn’t have any unwanted guests. As much as she would enjoy shocking the fuck out of the cops and the TSF, she really didn’t care for the idea of being arrested, so she kept herself carefully cloaked behind her favorite armor: shadows and secrecy. 

Her phone buzzed, pulling her out of her thoughts. She plucked it from her pocket, glanced at the screen, and did a double take, staring. 

Moon Moon.

Fen’s contact lit up the screen. 

Aelin’s finger quivered, itching to accept the call, but she forced her better judgment to win out and stopped herself. The screen went dark, only to start buzzing again only a minute later. 

Interesting. 

Once again, she refused to answer, instead waiting until the screen went dark before slipping down the short hallway into the bedroom and grabbing her custom-made leather mask from the nightstand. She wore it out anytime she went on a mission as Boss, and the filter built into the material disguised her voice, twisting it into a throaty rasp. 

As she’d expected, Moon Moon’s incoming call lit up her screen yet another time. She let it ring until it was almost at its limit, then swiped left to answer. 

There was a tense, drawn-out beat of silence. 

Then, the voice on the other end shattered the quiet. “Boss?” 

Fuck. 

It was Rowan. 

Aelin forced her scrambling wits back into place. “You’re not Moon Moon,” she rasped, the filter twisting her voice into gravel. 

“He’s dead.” That was Investigator Rowan, cold and blunt. 

She could be just as cold-hearted. “I know.” 

Predictably, Rowan took the next logical step. “Who killed him?” 

Aelin let the pause drag out, weighing whether to outright tell Rowan the truth or to simply leave him in silence as would fit the personality of Celaena Sardothien. 

“Who. Killed. Him?” Rowan repeated the question, his voice tight and hard. 

“Maeve.” Aelin’s response was short, blunt, and devoid of feeling. 

She hung up and scrubbed the call from her burner phone. 

Took a screwdriver and a heavy-duty plastic bag out of the drawer, pried the back off the phone, scratched up its inner parts, threw it into the bag, and beat the handle of the screwdriver into it until it was a wrecked pile of plastic, glass, and tiny circuit splinters. 

Then she changed into her Sardothien suit, secured her mask and hood, laced up her boots, strapped her pack across her back, and slipped soundlessly out the window, locking it tightly behind her. In minutes, she was no more than another shadow fading into the summer night. 

~

The recording was all of thirty seconds long, but it was all that Rowan had to work with, and for some reason, there was a tiny voice in the back of his head telling him that this was it. This was the piece he’d been missing. This call would be the key he needed to unlock the mystery of the Shadow Assassin. 

Rowan shuffled through reports as he waited for the software to do its job. He was running a program that was commonly used in PD, a fairly straightforward piece of work that could reverse voice filters placed on calls. It had helped him and many others catch all sorts of criminals in the past, and he had no doubt that it would reveal the true voice of whoever the fuck he’d spoke to last night. Her voice was familiar, striking some kind of chord in his mind, and he’d been turning over the possibilities ever since he’d grabbed the recording of that call. 

I know. Her cold, cruel response to the news of Fen’s death was…not what Rowan had expected. Then again, he hadn’t been expecting the Boss to answer, either, and look where that had got him. But that tone, that raspy drawl…why did he know it? 

He ran a few other phrases through his mind, a trick he had learned would often trigger voice recognition in his memory. Boss, murder, I know, take care of it, don’t move—

“Don’t move.” Something clicked faintly, the first tumbler of a combination lock. Threats, then…where had he heard that voice give threats? 

Move, and your next breath will be in the afterlife. The words slammed back into him with icy, steel-sharp recognition. The threat that the Boss had murmured to him when she’d caught him at her warehouse, knives to his throat and his…well…

Rowan’s computer pinged, indicating that the program was finished. Although the results were probably useless, since he’d just made the connection between the voice on the phone and the voice of the Boss, Celane Sardothien, one and the same. He turned back to the reports, his mind somewhat more settled, and managed to get through a good portion of them before he needed a few minutes to clear his head. He tapped on the file from the voice-filter reversal program, thinking he’d get a simple confirmation of what he’d already pieced together. 

The voice that spilled from his speakers froze his blood solid. 

“You’re not Moon Moon.” And then, coldly, “I know.” And finally, after he’d asked who killed Fen—twice—her answer. “Maeve.” 

He knew that voice. 

Knew it as intimately as he knew his own hand in the shower. 

Knew the soft throatiness of the laugh that so often accompanied that voice. 

Knew the caress of that voice as well as the caress of its speaker’s hands. 

It was Aelin. 

The world around him abruptly went utterly silent.

Rowan had been right—this call was the missing piece he needed in order to lay out the scattered puzzle of Celaena Sardothien. And he had also been horribly, horribly wrong—the revealed voice was not the unfamiliar rasp of a stranger, but the intimately familiar song of a lover. 

Celaena Sardothien wasn’t in league with Aelin Ashryver Galathynius. She wasn’t blackmailing the CEO like Rowan had theorized. No—Celaena Sardothien was Aelin Ashryver Galathynius. She had the whole of Orynth, the whole of the goddamn world, duped into believing that the CEO and the criminal were two different people. Part of Rowan was awestruck by the sheer impossible intricacy of her scheming. The other part of him, the investigative part, the part of him that was focused only on capturing the Shadow Assassin, was completely and utterly shattered.

Aelin—Celaena—owned every jagged edge of his heart. And she had been murdering her way through Orynth while he fell in love with her. 

The breath escaped Rowan’s lungs in a fractured rush. Fuck, even his heartbeat and his breathing knew Aelin, knew the impossibly calming effect she had on his ragged nerves. Had she really stood by his side at Fen’s memorial, black-clad and teary-eyed, holding his hand and keeping him together? Had she really been mourning, or was it all a ruse? Had she duped him along with the rest of Orynth? 

Did her I-love-you’s mean anything, or were they part of her schemes as well?

Pieces dropped into place before Rowan’s eyes as he stared blankly into space, torn between the investigative desire to bury himself in the case and the sheer force of his heart cracking into a thousand porcelain shards at his feet. Aelin was Celaena; Aelin is Celaena. Which meant that not only was she behind a horrifically impressive string of murders, but also that there was a distinct possibility that her company and her lab were involved in her nefarious business. That would make sense, since the lab was the site of Fen’s death, and the cause had been some kind of booby trap. 

Abruptly, Rowan laughed, the sound harsh and caustic. After eight months, he had his concrete proof, everything he needed to bring the Shadow Assassin down. But knowing who she was…

In his ten years in the TSF, Rowan Whitethorn had never once doubted his ability to capture a criminal. All he needed was a name, a gun, and his wits. 

Aelin Ashryver Galathynius—Celaena Sardothien—had shattered his confidence. 

In every possible way. 

~~~

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[wordsafterhours]

Songs About You - Chapter 14

Author's note: About time I got this done. I hope everyone who still likes this fic is around and will take time to enjoy this update. I made myself laugh, which is almost just as good as making someone else laugh.

*don't come for me at the end with pitchforks.*

Word Count: 3.3k

----------------------------------------------------------------------

She was floating somewhere between dreaming and unfortunate consciousness. Seeking to keep hold of sleep, Aelin flopped onto her side, groaning when she hit a dense mass instead of her usual plethora of feather pillows. Cracking a heavy lid, she peered at the lump. Dorian hadn’t moved, his soft snores unwavering. Least one of them was still delightfully asleep and unaware. 

With the last tendrils of grogginess dissipating, a splitting headache became apparent. It felt like the bones were trying to crack apart in areas long knitted together. A dull sense of nausea was also floating around, but she was trying very hard to not acknowledge it, hoping it would sink away. Hangovers were merciless and never worth the night before. 

Fleetfoot wasn’t bothering her, which likely meant it was still early or the dog was sleeping in as well. Whatever the case, Aelin decided more sleep would cure her ailment. Flipping over, she was met with brief surprise, again. Fenrys, a more eloquent sleeper than Dorian, was cuddling her stuffed animal, looking as though he was having the best sleep of his life.

Two attractive men in bed had to be somewhere on everyone’s fantasy list, likely even hers if she gave it enough honest thought. This would likely be a running joke in the days to come, but for now, it was comforting. One old friend, one new, both irreplaceable. After the events of last night, they had driven her home, whispered soft words as she cried, and offered to pummel both Rowan and Elide. It was exactly what she had needed. 

Sinking into the mattress, Aelin closed her eyes, trying to calm her mind enough to fall back to sleep. But it was pointless. Her body was relaxed, the soft linen sheets caressing her skin, attempting to soothe her back to sleep, but her traitorous mind was in hyperdrive. It kept replaying the events of last night over and over, on a high-definition loop. 

The betrayal was a feeling reminiscent of when she was a kid, and her mother would dab antiseptic on her cut. Except now, there was no one to blow on it, the stinging felt painfully in full affect. Rowan, in the days prior had eased it all, and somewhere in the depths of her disappointing sadness, there was a part of her that would fall at his feet, hoping he would do it again. 

Aelin’s body froze momentarily, shocked, as an arm fell across her body, pulling her close. “I can hear you thinking from here and it’s disturbing my slumber,” the sleep-addled voice said against exposed shoulder. 

“We cannot all be unbothered by the world, your highness,” she cheeked back. 

He let out nothing more than noncommittal grunt. She would have thought him back to sleep if not for the occasional lazy circles he was drawing across her skin. This was their friendship, strong and ignorant of proper boundaries. To an outsider, they would appear like a couple, but having tried that once, it was evident friends was the better choice.

“I’m not sure if I should be turned on or jealous at the moment,” tutted Fen, his voice a little huskier than appropriate for morning hours. 

Aelin cracked a lid, her bright eyes connecting with his appraising stare. He looked like the cat who ate the canary, and it made her face scrunch from a widening smile. “You’re just jealous that the stuffed animal doesn’t snuggle back.” 

“Hmm, I don’t think it’s that,” he declared with a low chuckle.

“Aelin, where did you find this mannerless mongrel?” 

“The same place I found you: the bar.” 

“Excuse me, that is not where you found me.” She bit her lip, trying to hold in a laugh. She just knew his face was pinched in indignation. Dorian was known to be quite wanton in his behavior, but it wasn’t a topic of discussion. Everyone just knew and that was that. 

“Is anyone going to invite the dog to snuggle or…?”

“I didn’t see Fleetf—” her remark stilted as a pillow collided with her face.   

“Well, Dorian, you were right, he is a mannerless mongrel.” 

“Fine! I didn’t want to cuddle with you two anyways. Wouldn’t want to give anyone fleas.” 

Aelin let Fenrys roll almost out of bed before reaching out, grabbing his shirt beneath her fingers. “C’mere.” 

The body heat from both men was almost too much to bear and she fought the comforter to stick a foot out for some relief. Contentedly, she relaxed, feeling unexpectedly safe in the current arrangement. She may not have Rowan and her best friend may have slit her heart from her chest, but in her bones, she knew Dorian and Fenrys would never hurt her. Perhaps, if she was less damaged, she’d let the blond seriously pursue her because underneath his cheeky persona, his heart was gold.

“Shhhh, you’re going to wake her up,” a harsh, hushed whisper grated across Aelin’s semi-conscious mind.

“I don’t even know how she’s sleeping through that loud banging.”

“I get the impression she doesn’t often sleep good.” 

“Well, sleep is on the bottom of what’s important right now. If you haven’t noticed, it sounds like someone is making off with half the downstairs!”

“Buck up buttercup and put on your big boy pants. I think two of us can take whoever it is,” Fenrys claimed, sliding from the bed and into his discarded jeans from the night prior. 

“I know we just met and all, but confronting robbers isn’t in my area of expertise. I have a full security team at home.” 

Aelin, who had been listening to this entire exchange, was two seconds from losing all sense of decorum and giving up that she was awake. Dorian sounded so panicked, surely his eyes were the size of saucers, and he was likely clenching her comforter tight. He lived a far more sheltered life than she had, despite also growing up in the public eye.

“Dorian, get up!” 

“You can’t just order me about.”

The bed jostled followed by loud thump. That’s one way to do it, she amusedly thought to herself. Cracking a lid, Aelin could see Fenrys holding out Dorian’s clothes with an annoyed expression. 

Dorian huffed, his face matching Fenrys’, as he took his clothes and started to put them on. His lean arms slipped into his shirt, but he paused, angling his head—clearly he heard something she did not. Fenrys froze, too, his stance stiffening as he stared at her bedroom door. 

Worry hadn’t been present before because if it had been anyone serious downstairs, Fleetfoot would have barked her head off. More than likely, the boys had heard the dog causing chaos downstairs, and not people. But now, doubt was filtering in. 

The bedroom door flew open and before Aelin could even process what was happening, Dorian was running full speed and tackling the intruder, landing outside in the hallway. Fenrys froze in a shock, arm still raised, a heavy book in hand. 

“GET OFF ME!” screeched Manon. 

“Ah gods,” Aelin muttered, immediately springing past Fenrys.

A pant-less Dorian was moving to stand, and Manon was flat of her back, white-blonde hair splayed out on the wooden floor, red faced and angry.

“Hey M,” she supplied coolly, extending an arm to help to help her up. Manon waved her off, too busy staring daggers at Dorian, who looked like he was wishing he could be anywhere but here. 

Aelin could feel Fenrys standing behind her and she leaned into him, enjoying the feel of his warm skin against her shoulders. Truthfully, an angry Manon scared her, and she wasn’t afraid to seek Fernys’ protection against her. 

Manon sat up, her piercing gold eyes roving over each of them, no doubt cataloging details and mustering up ideas. 

“Before you jump to the wrong conclusion, it’s not what it looks like,” Aelin rushed out defensively. 

“So, you didn’t all come out of the same room in various stages of undress? No shirt, no pants, and don’t even get me started on the amount of skin you’re showing.” 

The tips of her ears burned in embarrassment. 

“I swear, it really isn’t what it looks like.” 

“Somehow you saying that just makes it that more unbelievable. Everyone knows how you are.”

“Manon,” Aelin chastised. Dorian may have been a flirt, opportunistic in bedding people, but it didn’t warrant his feelings being stepped on because she someone was angry.

“You act like what I said isn’t true.” 

“That may be, but it isn’t true in this moment. We don’t know one another well, but they’re both being honest when they say nothing is going on. Please don’t make either one feel bad for something that’s strictly innocent in nature.” Fenrys brushed passed Aelin, extending a hand to the woman still laid out on the floor. Manon took it, rising to her feet. No thank you was given and the four stood in silence. 

She wanted to ask what Manon was doing there and why there was an almost musical banging coming from downstairs, but at the same time, she was tired of being talked down to. Self-conscious, she pulled down on her tank top, eliminating the skin showing above her sleep shorts. The pair of golden eyes missed nothing, zeroing in on her movements.

Fenrys noticed, stepping a few paces and giving her shoulder a soft squeeze in reassurance. “Manon, how about we go downstairs and get you some ice.”

“What for?” she sniped. 

“To cool you off.” 

“I’m not hot.”

Regret colored her face the minute she said she wasn’t hot, and Dorian looked too pleased with himself when he followed up with flirty statement declaring otherwise. Manon rolled her eyes and headed back to the first floor, taking the stairs two at a time. 

“Does she eat children for breakfast?” Fen asked with shiver.

“With a side of kittens,” Dorian confirmed, his blue eyes watching the stairs, as though he were waiting for her to rush back up them and give another lashing. 

“I think I’ll get dressed,” Aelin said to no one in particular, ducking back into her bedroom. The two boys followed, each grabbing their missing clothing and shrugging into them. 

“We’ll see you down there, ‘kay,” Dor declared in parting, Fen hot on his heels. 

With a resigned sigh, she flopped back into mussed bed covers, all will to change clothes dissipating. She grabbed the stuffed animal, sitting him on her chest, “Did you enjoy being cuddled by Fen, Mr. Snuggles?” 

She manipulated the bear into nodding, smiling to herself at her antics. “That’s great, me too.” 

“And here I thought I was the only guy that had been in your bed lately.” 

Aelin let out a surprised shriek, throwing the animal at the intruder without a second thought. The attack was easily deflected with an arm wave and Mr. Snuggles fell to the ground with a soft thud. His large, tanned hand scooped him up and tossed him back on the bed, a predatory glint in his eyes and a pleased smirk affixed on his perfect face. 

The embarrassment and anxiety coursing through made it feel like her stomach was in her throat, about to jump ship at any moment, and her lips pressed tighter together as though they could prevent it from happening. Women her age weren’t supposed to sleep with animals, much less talk to them, and now she’d been caught red-handed. How was it this man consistently had the worst timing? 

Maybe if she closed her eyes and pretended he wasn’t there, he’d just poof into thin air, leaving her and Mr. Snuggles to their conversation. Squeezing them shut, she waited, listening intently for his departure, but in didn’t come. Fighting against her better judgement, Aelin kept her lids tightly shut, refusing to give him another ounce of her time. 

Unreliable. Hot. Cold. Friend. Foe. The push and pull dance weighing down an already exhausted soul. It had been pretty clear last night where they stood and why he was here, she had no idea. The “why” bothered her more than his actual presence if she was being truthful. Nonetheless, she dug her heels in, refusing to inquire, refusing to acknowledge. 

A gentle yet firm pressure forced her knees apart. Rough fabric skated across bared flesh, goosebumps raising in response. The bed dipped beneath new weight. The very distinct smell of Rowan wrapped around her.

“Aelin,” he said lowly but in a way meant to command attention.

Childishly, she turned her head to the right, eyes still screwed tightly shut. Her lungs were screaming in protest, fighting for her to release the breath she was unconsciously holding. A traitorous breath whooshed out, the subsequent inhale assaulting her senses again in pine and snow. 

The bed dipped more right and the feeling of rough fabric became more pronounced as he shifted. Featherlight, the unmistakable feel of a calloused finger traced the bridge of her nose, across the light smattering of freckles decorating her high cheekbone, ending with a careful tuck of hair behind her ear.

Still, she didn’t move. He loosed a frustrated breath. 

Fingers threaded throughout her hair, as though he’d done it a million times before, his thumb coming to rest just in front of her ear. “Ace, please,” he begged, just barely more than a whisper. The defeated tone wilted her fortitude. He sounded so desperate and while Aelin shouldn’t care, she did. He sounded like she felt. 

“Why are you here?”

“I won’t tell you unless you look at me.” His thumb skittered across her cheek in a circle, a silent imploration meant to chase away the rest of her resolve.  

“You’re not an any position to be making demands.” 

“No, but I’ll get on my knees and beg if I must. It’s just five minutes of your time and I can leave when I’ve said what I needed to say.” 

Rowan on his knees sent her brain sideways, as she allowed for a momentary glimpse of it under much different circumstances to play out in her mind. But as quick as it had appeared, she pushed it aside, returning her thoughts to the present. 

His eyes were brilliantly green, every color of the Oakwald forest interwoven within their depths, but they stood out more than usual because the dark circles beneath his eyes. Rowan looked the roughest she’d ever seen him. Handsome, painstakingly so, but tired, sad, and something she couldn’t place. His silver hair, usually plaited and put up, was messily loose, like the day she’d seen it when he was cutting wood. 

Dropping his hand from her face, he shifted, resuming likely what had been his initial position: a hand on either side of her shoulders, one leg resting against the bed between her knees. Unable to resist the urge, she raised her hand, gently brushing against his side to grab a piece of silver that had fallen forward. She swore he shivered but it had been such a quick response, it could have been entirely imagined. 

Idly, she twirled the lock with her finger, waiting for him to divulge the reason for his forced presence. 

“Lyria’s pregnant.”

A million and one reasons could have come out of his mouth, but Aelin would have never thought that’d be the one. The feeling you get from dropping great heights on amusement rides could not compare to how she felt in the moments following his admission. 

Space. She needed space. Breaking out of his embrace, she was on her feet halfway across the bedroom before turning to face him. His eyes looked glassy, his proud shoulders rounded and sagging in defeat. 

“How long have you known?” Aelin wasn’t sure why she asked. In her bones she already knew the answer. 

“After I left here that morning. Lyria was waiting for me in the driveway of my house.” 

Life was cruel. Or the gods were. Had she wronged the world so in her past life and was thusly being punished in this one?  He had become a bright spot in her life and now, reduced to another pile of ash. Hiding her anger, she turned and stared into the empty fireplace, a too literal example of how it all felt. 

“Say something.”

“What do you want me to say, Rowan? That I understand why you stopped answering my texts and made me feel like I wasn’t worth your time? That I understand you’re doing the best you can?” She clenched her fists and turned back to look at him, face red, lip quivering with emotion. “Because I don’t. I feel hurt and let down. Gods I’m so furious with you.” Her voice cracked and it only made her more mad at this entire situation. 

“I’m sorry. I’ve spent weeks trying to decide how to tell you that I can’t be here for you like I promised. I want to be right here Aelin, and I just….,” he raked his hands through his hair, messing it further, “I have to be there for her and for my child. I won’t be someone who shirks their duty because it’s not convenient for me.” 

“What about me?” she hated how small and pitiful she sounded. Selfish even. But she had to ask it. Where did she fall in this fucked up situation? 

Somehow, in two strides, he had crossed the room and was holding her in a vice grip to his chest. “I won’t give you up.” 

“You just said you can’t be here because you have to be there. I don’t understand.” 

“It’s been hell, but I was respecting the boundary Lyria set as my girlfriend and mother of my child, but then last night, when I got a glimpse of how it felt to not have you at all… watching you crumple because of me, that’s worse than anything I’ve had to deal with since losing my parents."

Rowan’s strong arms held her tighter as he continued, “I can’t be here like I promised, like I want to, but I still want you in my life, Aelin. You’re my friend and you’re about to go through a very hard time. I won’t desert you when you need people on and by your side.” His assertion rumbled against her, putting to bed some of the crippling sadness he had descended on her only moments ago. 

Ever a glutton for punishment, Aelin squirmed in his grasp, until her arms were free to wrap around him. She splayed her hands against his back, enjoying the feel of his strong muscles ripple beneath them. Rowan rested his cheek on the top of her head, neither ready to break the contented silence they found themselves in. 

The pair stayed like that for some time before Rowan made to step back but was quickly stopped when the blonde let out a warning huff. His chuckled bounced her head albeit not in an uncomfortable way. “I was going to show you your surprise, but I guess not.” 

Aelin tipped her head back to look at him, her eyes narrowed in suspicion. 

“I think I’ve had all the surprise that I can handle for today,” she fired off, still looking up at him. 

He smiled, one that reached his eyes, as he lightly thumped her nose. “You’ll like this one, Ace.” 

“If it’s not a hazelnut chocolate cake from Emrhys’, I don’t want it.” 

“Gods woman, it’s amazing you don’t weight 300 pounds with all the sweets you devour,” he teased. 

“I have a great figure, thank you very much.” 

“I’m not going to touch that statement with a ten-foot poll.”

“You sure?” she asked suggestively, giving him a once over with a raised brow. 

“I’m leaving, see you downstairs,” he said hurriedly retreating for the door.

Not even waiting to see if he had left the room completely, Aelin chanced it and slipped her sleep cami over her head. A choking sound covered by a cough and subsequent slamming door let her know he’d seen something and that warmed her with satisfaction. If she couldn’t have him, at least she could bother him, and that would have to do for now. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------

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[tomtenadia]

Thicker Than Blood - 24

Here we are with another update. It took me almost a month to decide to post again because the interest in this fic has been so low recently that I had kinda lost motivation.  I almost abandoned it. Anyway... let’s give it another try This chapter is quite heavy.. Rowan and Fenrys make a very, very disturbing discovery (I am putting it bold as a warning.)

THere’s a bit of scientific explanation too about vampires. So, I came up with the idea that vampires are how they are (immortal, strong, healing powers) because they have 6 base pairs ( a regular human has 4: A, T,C and G). Now, this is not something I have invented... I have read some articles about bioengineering and so on :HERE) so I used this idea and played with it.  Things are starting to heat up in Orynth...

MASTERLIST

The first thing Aelin noticed upon waking up was that she was in a car. Such discovery was soon followed by a splitting headache and a metallic taste in her mouth. The partition was up and could not see the driver through the thick black screen. She remembered men coming and arresting her and accusing her of being a junkie. 

The car stopped and a moment later the door flew open and she was dragged out. She was in a yard. The air smelled like nature and she realised that she was deep in the mountains. Two men slapped chains on her wrists and pushed her to walk with little ceremony. 

“Move, the queen doesn’t like to wait.”

Aelin froze. Maeve. No, no she was back at Maeve.

They walked until they stopped in front of a door. One man knocked and a woman’s voice reached them. She was pushed in and found herself in front of Maeve. A snarl left her mouth at the woman.

“Aelin, darling, welcome back.”

“Fuck you.”

“What a foul mouthed young lady.”

“Fuck you, bitch. Happy now?”

“We are going to have some fun.”

The woman called for someone and a guy came into the room and grabbed her “let’s go. I am taking to your new home.”

Aelin tried to resist but the man dragged her harder. She was taken along a corridor and then down a path of stairs and towards a dungeon. Terror spread through er while painful memories came back. The same dungeons, the same house. She tried to rebel but the man dragged her harder.

She was shoved inside a room with white walls and a metal bed with straps.

Inside the room there was a man with dark hair and dark eyes. He seemed familiar.

“Welcome back, Aelin, I have missed my favourite lab experiment.” The stranger nodded to the man holding her and he forced her on the bed and the two tied her down securing a strap on her head too. 

Once the second man left, she was alone again with the one who looked like a doctor.

“You don’t remember me?”

“Should I?”

He ignored her and pulled up the sleeve of her hoodie and exposed her arm.

“My name is Erawan and many years ago your aunt asked me to make you special.”

“You?”

The man sat on the stool at her side and started trafficking with tubes and needles “yes, we needed you, so I played with your DNA.”

“You made me a junkie,” she growled.

The man smiled in satisfaction “oh yes, we wanted to see if it was feasible to transform regular vampires in killers and make them more addicted to blood.”

“Bastard.”

“It was a shame that you never killed anyone, but all the humans you turned, made us proud.”

Aelin saw him prepare a syringe and filled it in with something. 

“Why the golden blood?”

Erawan looked at her with curiosity “oh yes, it was to make really sure you’d reject the synthetic blood completely,” he added with a cruel smile “and I made you sensitive to A+ because we still needed you to drink from humans.”

He flicked the syringe “It was fun playing with you.” Erawan tied and homeostatic elastic around her arm “and while you were with us you gave us so many new vampires. But now it’s time to have more fun.”

Aelin tried to move but she couldn’t. A second later she felt the needle pierce the inside of her arms,  Erawan then attached her to an IV and as soon as the liquid started to enter her bloodstream she felt her entire body on fire.

Erawan adjusted the flow and Aelin screamed in pain.

*

After his meeting with Lorcan, Rowan had gone home. He could not stay at HQ after he had confessed the truth to Lorcan, so he decided to work from his sofa.

On his drive home it was when he felt it first a shock of pure fear running through the bond. It had been so strong that he had to stop the car and calm down. That was Aelin.

He finally reached home and crashed on the sofa. And that’s where, two hours later he still was. The fear was gone, but now there was a constant sense of desperation in his soul. He could not think, or work or exist. She was in pain and he had no idea how to even start finding her.

He was about to try and sleep a bit when someone knocked at the door. Annoyed he stood and went to open and was surprised to see Fen.

“Lorcan told me. I want you to know that if the order comes to hunt her I won’t do it.”

Rowan looked away “that is not something you can fight.”

“I don’t give a fuck,” the young man shouted “I am not sending another person in that hellhole to die like Connall did. They can take my badge for all I care.”

Rowan appreciated the sentiment but could not allow the young man to throw away his career like that.

“But I was here for another reason.”

He turned and stared at the blonde man with interest.

“Remember Ansel? The red-haired woman whom you saw naked in my flat?”

Rowan nodded.

“She did manage to put us on the list for the Vaults tonight.”

He stood in a powerful move “for real?”

“Yeah, she is that amazing.”

Finally, thought Rowan. 

“She is also working with a group of rebels. They are both vampires and humans and they have two projects going on,” he sat on the sofa happily “one, is to take down the deviation centres. She works there and knows the horrors that happens. She has proof that the inmates are being experimented on,” he explained calmly “it’s a lot of medical gibberish but she says that since Hamel came into power the prisoners had gotten worse. Before it was not like that.”

Rowan’s hand fisted in anger. They had to give that proof to Rhoe.

“She is also working on rising riots and hopefully depose Hamel.”

Rowan’s eyes widened in surprise “it might not look like, but there are a lot of humans out there who want a society where we can coexist and do not want a civil war. She is using those humans to raise an army.”

Rowan found the strength to chuckle “your lady friend is quite impressive.”

Fenrys smiled wickedly “she is pretty awesome.” He stood “I will send you the details for tonight.”

He nodded and Fen disappeared. 

Rowan walked to the window and looked away to the forest and sent all his love down the bond to try and sooth Aelin, in the hope she felt him and fought back.

*

Elide was busy working. She had just finished an autopsy for the hospital and was compiling the report when a familiar scent hit her.

“Lor?”

The chief of police waltzed in the room and she noticed his downcast stare. He had been pretty stressed recently 

“Hi El,” The woman stood and went for a gentle kiss.

“What are you doing here?”

The man sat on one of the stools “I assumed you know, it’s everywhere.”

“What?”

“Aelin is a junkie.”

Elide was silent. She had never told him that she had known for a long time and also helped her friend. But he was chief of the paranormal unit. It would have been his job to arrest her and she could not allow that. At her silence Lorcan glared at her.

“You knew.” He roared “you knew and never told me. Am I the only poor bastard who didn’t know?”

“You are the chief. I am not going to tell you that my friend has a problem and arrest her.”

Lorcan’s glare intensified “it’s my job.”

Elide folded her arms at her chest in challenge “sure, throw your best friend’s wife in a cell to rot while tortured and experimented on?”

“You have no proof.”

“Connall autopsy is proof enough. What they did to him was insane. I am not having my best friend go through that.”

They stood in silence for a while.

“Is it true that Aelin was made a junkie? Rowan went on with this crazy theory.”

This time it was Elide who glared at him with a vengeance, then walked to her drawer and took out a folder and slammed in front of him.

Lorcan grabbed it and flipped it through but to him was a bunch of big words “in layman terms?”

Elide sat at his side and took the folder and pointed at a picture “this is her DNA. Humans have four base pairs: Thymine, Adenine, Cytosine and Guanine.”

Lorcan’s gaze looked lost already.

Elide sighed and almost smiled “they are like building blocks. Their order vary from each person but it’s always four.” She grabbed another picture “this is vampire DNA,” she pointed at the picture again “we have six base pairs. They developed throughout evolution and they are what makes us what we are: stronger, immortal, fast healing.”

Lorcan nodded.

“This is Aelin’s DNA,” Elide pointed to a specific spot “her two extra base pair have been altered and made her into a junkie.”

“So Rowan was not lying.”

“No, she had no control. It was forced on her. They messed up with a lot more things but is the important one.”

Lorcan sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

“And she has been taken,” a soft whisper “I was here. Some goons arrested her and took her away. They knocked me out.”

Rage surged in him “are you okay?”

“Yes, Rowan found me. I only have a bump.”

“Lor,” Elide took his hand “Rowan needs your support now, not the chief. His friend.”

“If the order comes I will try and stall as much as I can.”

“Thank you.”

He stood and kissed Elide gently “I have to go. Text me when you are going home. I will pick you up.”

“Fussing much?”

A last kiss on her forehead and the chief left.

Elide remained seated and smiled deeply.

*

Rowan parked his car outside Fenrys’ building and waited for his friend to join him. The man arrived ten minutes later all nicely dressed for a night out. Rowan had just worn jeans, a polo shirt and his black leather jacket.

“Is that what you are wearing?”

Rowan stared at his friend with a raised eyebrow “I am not coming to bring a date home.”

“Me neither, but at least I have a sense of fashion.”

Rowan shook his head and started driving. 

They reached the club twenty minutes later and parked. On their way to the door he looked up at the roof and thought about the evenings he spent there with Aelin I will find you.

“Moonbeam and Whitethorn,” he heard Fen say at the security at the entrance. The man scrolled his list and when he found them he grabbed their hands and stamped them.

They climbed down a set of stairs until they reached a door. Fen opened it and that’s when the noise hit them. 

The club was huge and busy, lights of every colour flashed and the music pumped a loud rhythm. Rowan hated clubs. They were obnoxious, the music horrible and the people irritating. But they were working, so he shoved down his annoyance and followed his friend. Both men walked around trying to spot anything suspicious. Fen dragged him to the bar and ordered for two. Rowan leaned back against the counter and while he drank his beer he scanned the locale. Fen at his side was already chatting up a woman. He rolled his eyes and elbowed him “we are working,” he mouthed. Fen looked at him in a way that told he knew what he was doing. Rowan was about to go back to his job, when a dark-haired woman approached him “Hi sexy,” he groaned loudly “Sorry, I am married.”

The woman wrapped herself around his arm “the wife is not here, we can have fun,” Rowan was about to reject her and then had an idea. 

“Do you come here a lot?” He moved closer, pushing his body against hers.

The woman moved even closer and he felt her breasts push hard against him. He sent a silent  apology to Aelin.

“Yes, this is the best place to get spiked blood if you are willing to pay.”

Rowan froze. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He knew it.

His mouth moved to her neck while his arm sneaked around her back “I haven’t had a good drink in a while.”

She licked his neck and he had to restrain his disgust “we have humans high on the best drugs you can imagine. They taste delicious,” she whispered against his ear.

Rowan had to use all his strength not to cause a scene. He was undercover. He had to pass like a vampire looking for a fix.

“Can you show me? I can pay.”

The stranger took his hand “come with me, we can drink together. It will be fun and sexy.”

Rowan locked gaze with Fen and with a nod of his head he told his friend he had a lead. 

Together they climbed another set of stairs and the woman showed an ID to the man guarding the door “he is with me.”

The security guard nodded and let them in after Rowan paid for his access.

Once the door opened Rowan felt sick. Inside there were about twenty beds. On them, naked women and a few guys, hooked up on IVs, some had two some had one. And vampires… vampires were drinking from them and using them as a blood bags.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

The woman took his hand again and moved them to a body that was free and hooked on two IVs “The double ones are better. They give you a better kick.”

She sat down on one side and a moment later she was drinking. Rowan was feeling sick. He hadn’t tasted spiked blood in a lifetime. He choose a place where there was less blood and placed his mouth on one of the many cuts and pretended to drink. He bit his own lip to smear his teeth with blood. The woman on the table smelled the same as all of the other victims. He thought about Lyria. Had she been held like this? Did people feed on her while she lay naked on a cold table? After a few minutes he detached from the woman and walked away ignoring the stranger who brought him in that hell of a place. He ran out on the street and as the fresh air hit him, he vomited on the ground. 

He had to tell Lorcan.

*

Fenrys had noticed him ran away and joined him on the street “what happened?”

Rowan was still leaning against the wall breathing heavily and in shock.

“Rowan?”

He looked at his friend and told him everything. The room, the bodies.

“Fuck.”

“I had to pretend once I was in.”

“Did you drink?.”

Rowan shook his head “I bit my lip to make it look like I drank.”

“This is so fucked up.”

“We need to tell Lorcan.”

The two walked back to Rowan’s car. He was still in shock. He could not remove from his mind the image of that room full of humans being fed on. Then Gav’s words popped in his head: Hamel. That placed belonged to Hamel. He quickly texted Rhoe and agreed to meet later on after his meeting with his boss was over. They had to go public with that.

HQ appeared in front of them and Rowan went to park the car and together they rode the lift to their  floor. Both in silence. And shocked by the discovery.

Rowan burst into Lorcan’s office with little ceremony “we have news.”

“You look like shit.”

Rowan growled hard “Fen and I just made a discovery.”

He confessed everything. 

“You went undercover without my permission?”

“Is that what you are focusing on?” A snarl erupted from Fenrys.

“It was not sanctioned.”

That was when Rowan erupted and slammed his fist hard on the desk “Damn it Lorcan, humans are used as blood bags. Vampires pay. Women and men are lured and jacked up to drugs and exploited until they are useless and discarded like trash. You can’t fucking ignore this.”

“I’ll have Fen and the others work on this,” Rowan growled hard “you are suspended for lying to me.”

Rowan turned and left the office slamming the door so hard the glass rattled. Went to his office, grabbed some of his stuff, then went back to Lorcan and slammed his badge on his desk “Fuck you.”

After Rowan stormed out, Fenrys had a word with his boss “Really? You know what he went through with Lyria, and now Aelin is gone. You really are a fucking bastard. We discovered important proof.”

Lorcan stood “A proof that it was only one man’s word.”

“My female was about to take me there too, but I stopped when I saw Rowan storm out,” he snarled “she told me that vampires love that club only because they can feed.”

“I will discuss this with my superior and try and to open an official investigation.”

Fenrys grumbled something and disappeared.

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[profound-imagination]

Before You Go - Fenrys Moonbeam

A/N: I’m so freaking proud of this fic I hope you love it! Also I’ve tried my hand at a lil smut so please feel free to give constructive criticism!

T/W: Maeve, Smut, Vision of Maeve & Fenrys, Angst, Death - I think that’s it! Let me know if I’ve missed any!

W/C: 5K

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

100 Years Ago:

“You did what?!” You seethed at the White Wolf who was looking anywhere but at you. “I swore a blood oath…to Maeve.” The words hit you like a physical blow and tears lined your eyes. “Why…why would you do that?” You asked, swallowing the lump in your throat. He looked at you then, his face shuttering as he took in your unshed tears. “For Connall, the things she makes him do, Y/N, I can’t, I can’t allow it.” You sighed, heart breaking as you looked at the Male in front of you, your mate. Not that he knew, if he did he hadn’t told you, just like how you hadn’t told him. “He’ll resent you for taking his place, Fen, he came to visit, while you were gone with your elite force, he seemed happy.”

You’d grown up with the twins, your parents serving under theirs but there was always something about Fenrys, something that pulled you in. They were five years older than you and you’d put it down to a school girl crush. Connall hated it. He didn’t speak to you for 2 years after he confessed his feelings for you on your 18th birthday. You had just looked helplessly at his twin and he had known then, had understood there was something unspoken between you and his brother. It infuriated him. Connall had always felt lesser than his twin, who was favoured by their father and now by you, it seemed. “I can’t let her have him like that, Connall deserves a true and pure love, not this.” You scoffed, “What, so it’s better for you to be her whore instead?” You spat, his eyes hardening at your words, “Tell me, will you be allowed to leave her chambers? To be the warrior you always wanted to be or will you be leashed to her bed like the dog that you are?”

Anger rolled off of him in waves as he took a step back from you, “That’s enough.” He said quietly but you were so past trying to understand his reasoning. “Maybe he loves her, Fen? Did you think of that?” He scoffed this time, “Even if he does, she doesn’t and won’t ever love him back, she’s incapable of it.” You put your hands on your hips, “So what now? You’ve come to say goodbye? Tell me I’ll never see you again?” His face softened as your voice cracked. “You’ll see me again, but yes, I came to say goodbye.” Anger was still coursing through your veins as you said, “You better go then, your shackles on her bed are waiting. Goodbye, Fenrys.” You turned and walked away, you didn’t look back.

85 Years Ago:

The first ten years without the twins, without Fenrys, had been hard. You’d lost your parents to one of Maeve’s many wars, the twins' parents only just making it back themselves. They had taken you in, despite the fact you were an adult and your own parents had left you more than enough. It was like their mother knew this would be the final blow for you and she refused to let you fall into your despair. She’d moved you into Fenrys’ room, “So you’re here when he comes back,” she had said, “A mate's presence heals most things, even if they're not physically here.” You didn’t know how she knew nor did you ask at the time as you crawled into his bed and slept for days.

Fenrys sent everything he was feeling down the mating bond unknowingly. You could stop him from feeling your feelings which you’d been actively doing since it snapped for you but you couldn’t block his. The hatred, the anger, the sadness, the submission, the pleasure. It made you physically sick. Sometimes, when his emotions were particularly high, you saw it all as well, through his eyes. You’d never forget that first time.

Maeve on top of him, her naked form grinding in his lap. “What’s the matter little pup?” She taunted from above him, “Performance nerves?” He was panicking, you could feel the panic coursing through him, the dread that if he didn’t perform she’d bring Connall in here instead. She scraped her nails down his chest, “You really are pretty for a dog, Fenrys.” She crooned, rolling her hips again, “I can help you enjoy it and perhaps eventually you’ll learn to enjoy it on your own.” She leant forward and kissed up his neck, her canines scraping as she went, disgust shot through him as one hand wrapped around his throat and the other slid towards his cock. “Enjoy it.” She whispered seductively in his ear, “You want me, Fenrys, you want this.” She sucked on his earlobe and the disgust started to dissipate, replaced by lust. “You want to fuck me, to satisfy me.” She continued as his cock stiffened in her hand. She dragged herself up his body, until she had a leg on either side of his head. “Go ahead pup,” she crooned, “eat.”

You witnessed the whole thing. She had ridden him until she was satisfied and when he was spent she sent him away like he was nothing. The last thing you saw when Fenrys opened her chamber door was Connall on the other side, betrayal like nothing you’d ever seen written across his face. You’d thrown up until your body had given out and you moved out of his room and his parents house the next day.

This went on for ten years until you’d had enough, you couldn’t take it anymore, feeling what he was feeling, witnessing it. You had amassed the funds your parents had left you and ventured to Doranelle, for an audience with the Queen. You smoothed down the skirts of your dress as you waited to be called into her throne room. Fenrys was here and nearby, you could feel the bond coming to life and singing that its counterpart was close. A guard approached and nodded for you to follow him, so you took a deep breath and did just that. It’s for the twins, you told yourself over and over again as you rounded the corner and took in Maeve sitting upon her stone throne, two wolves sat either side, one white, one black, both of their ears shot up and their eyes widened as they took you in. A white tailed hawk sat above her right shoulder, a massive Osprey sat above her left. In one of the alcoves close to the throne stood the biggest male you had ever seen and another male with golden hair and tattoos.

“You asked for an audience?” Maeve asked, her voice sounded bored and uninterested. You bowed as low as you could before speaking, “Yes your majesty, thank you for granting my wish.” You said, your voice sounding stronger than you felt, she waved a hand for you to continue. “I have come to ask if you will allow me to buy the wolves out of their servitude? They are needed at home but of course majesty I understand they are of great importance to you so I offer all that I have, including myself, in their stead.” Maeve tilted her head in consideration. Connall was staring at his queen, but Fenrys, Fenrys was staring at you, a sadness in his eyes, a desperation telling you to take back your offer and run.

Maeve tipped her head back and laughed, she laughed like you had told the best joke she had ever heard and as quickly as she laughed, it ended. The Fae Queen leveled you with a look, “No.” You stepped forward, Connall bared his teeth and let out a warning growl that shocked you to your very core. “But, I-“ the Queen cut you off, “I said no, like you pointed out, girl, they are of great importance to me and this one,” she said, placing a hand on Fenrys’ head, “He pleases me ever so well, so no, girl, I’ll keep them both, leave.” Your mouth dropped open and Maeve sighed, “Lorcan, see our guest out.” The giant of a male stepped towards you and Fenrys whined his protest, “Hush, pup, get upstairs.” Maeve commanded and you were escorted out with a feeling in the pit of your stomach that you’d made everything worse for him.

A knock woke you from a fitful sleep. You hadn’t even made it to your bed, you had passed out drunk on the sofa and you winced as the wine bottle rolled off of you and smashed on the floor. You’d deal with that in the morning you decided as you stumbled to the door and flung it open. A fae male with long silver hair and face tattoos stood on the other side, along with the golden haired male from earlier. “So she’s sent you to kill me then?” You asked as you turned and walked into the kitchen, leaving the door open for them to follow. “Drink?” You asked, pouring yourself a whisky and sliding the bottle and two glasses over to the other side of the table where they now stood. “I won’t fight you for my life,” you told them, “There’s nothing left of it anyway.” You said gesturing around the house.

The silver haired one snorted as he took in your home, “Wow, you really aren’t doing well without him are you?” The golden haired one hissed as he elbowed his friend, “Rowan!” He scolded. “I’m sorry, Y/N, I’m Gavriel and this is Rowan, we aren’t here to kill you, we’re here to help, sort of.” You raised an eyebrow, “Help? With what?” You questioned, “You feel him don’t you?” Rowan asked, “We can teach you to block him out, so you don’t feel him if you’re too much of a coward to tell him he’s your mate.” You crossed your arms over your chest, “You’re an asshole.” You told Rowan, Gavriel nodded his agreement, “An asshole I might be, but I’m trying to help you, do you know what she would’ve done if she realised what you were to him, to both of them?” You shrugged, “It isn’t fair that they are chained to her like that, it’s not fair to any of you, loyalty should be earned, not taken.” Gavriel sighed, “Let us help you.”

So you learned from them, well, from Rowan mostly, over an exhausting couple of days. Gavriel kept himself busy fixing whatever needed fixing in the house and tidying up so you had somewhere presentable to live. “Oh and one more thing,” Rowan said as they turned to leave that evening. He turned, producing a letter out of his satchel and you instantly recognised the scrawl on the envelope. “Keep those shields up, Y/N.” He said before walking out the door. Gavriel smiled kindly at you, “For what it’s worth, I think he regrets it, leaving you, everyday.” You sighed, “I was so mean the last time I spoke to him, I was angry and I didn’t mean any of it.” You said quietly, “I think he knows that too,” Gavriel said, “but I’ll make sure to tell him.”

You smiled at him softly, “Why did you both come to help me?” You questioned, Gavriel glanced outside and then back to you, “Rowan’s pregnant mate was murdered & I walked away from my mate and child because of the fear of Maeve, we don’t want the same for Fenrys, we’re quite keen on the pups and somethings Y/N, somethings are worth fighting for.” With that, he took your hand, kissed your knuckles and left.

You slid down the front door, pulled your knees to your chest and ripped open the letter Rowan had given you. There was such anger in Connall’s words, at you, at his brother. But there was also sorrow and a plea for you to never step foot in Doranelle again.

You spent the following weeks wondering if you’d be betrayed, but no one ever came for you.

50 Years Ago:

Gasping quietly you dropped the dishes you were washing in the sink with a splash, the bubbles splattering up your apron. You threw open the door to Rowan and the tall male you hadn’t met yet. “What happened?!” You snapped as you took in Fenrys hanging between them. “Move!” The tall male hissed as they shoved past you, “Clear the table!” Rowan commanded, panic seized you as you swept the table with your arm. “What happened?!” You snapped again and Fenrys groaned as they placed him more gently than you’d expected on the table. “He’s been testing the leash, stupid boy.” Your eyes snapped to the tall male, “Sorry, who the hell are you?” He didn’t even look at you as he grunted, “Lorcan.” You looked back down at Fenrys, “She did this to him?” Rowan looked at Lorcan who shook his head but Rowan answered you anyway, “Connall did.” Anger flooded through you, “Connall?!” Fenrys let out a wet, labored cough, “No,” he croaked. “She commanded it,” Lorcan drawled, “But he didn’t seem to hesitate or fight it.”

You watched quietly as the two warriors worked on Fenrys. Your entire body was tense. Fenrys had passed out 30 minutes ago, a blessing you supposed, that he couldn’t feel what they were doing as they were putting him back together. A shadow outside the window caught your eye and you stalked out the door. “You’ve got some nerve.” You spat at the Black Wolf who was sitting at the tree line of your property. “How dare you turn up here?!” With a flash the Black Wolf was a Male prowling towards you. “He’s my brother, I need to know if he’s okay.” You scoffed, “You did this to him!” You exclaimed, stepping up to him. “I didn’t have a choice!” You rolled your eyes, “They said you didn’t even hesitate or try to fight the order!” You watched Connall’s eyes shoot over your shoulder and then back to you. You felt Rowan at your back. “Are you here for you or for her?” He asked, his voice tight. “For him.” Connall snapped. Rowan nodded and beckoned him to follow. You huffed and followed the two males into your home, the tang of blood in the air.

They’d moved him to your bed when they’d patched him up. You had sat next to the bed, back rigid. Your eyes watching the steady rise and fall of his chest. Around 3am his eyes cracked open, finding you instantly in the darkness, “Am I dead? Is this heaven?” He rasped. You rolled your eyes, “No, you aren’t dead, they brought you here.” He nodded weakly. “Where are they?” He croaked, you handed him a glass of water, “Lorcan and Connall went back, Rowan’s flapping about outside.” You told him and he huffed a laugh then winced. “Stop it.” You scolded him.

You’d brought him some food and stuck your head out the door to let Rowan know he was awake before returning to Fenrys. “How are you feeling?” You asked, “Why are you doing this? Helping?” He asked at the same time. “Because it’s you and I’m an idiot.” You muttered quietly. “It was stupid of you to come to Doranelle.” He said, “I’m not sorry.” You snapped. “Your brother nearly killed you today, he didn’t think twice about it, he just obeyed.” Your voice cracked and tears welled up in your eyes. Fenrys sighed, “It’s the blood oath, he didn’t have a choice.” You gave him a scathing look, “Get some rest.” You said, voice sharp and you turned to leave. “Hey?” You turned to face him, he held his hand out towards you, “Come here?” He asked, patting the space next to him. The bond was screaming at you to do so, to join him, to not leave him injured and alone in your room so you caved and crawled in next to him. “You know I love you right?” He asked into the darkness of the room. “Yeah, I know.” You answer, heart cracking because you knew he didn’t mean it how your entire soul craved him to mean it.

Now:

“What are you doing here?!” You span at the sound of his voice. “Fighting? We got the call.” You gestured at the battlefield that surrounded you. “You can’t be here!” He snarled, “Well I am! You snarled back. “Pup! We’ve got to go, you can fight with your girlfriend later!” Rowan shouted as he landed next to you, “Hi, Y/N.” You smiled at him, “Aedion is injured, get up to the battlements and see where you can help.” Rowan told you, you nodded at him and took off, Fenrys shouting after you.

You clung onto Aedion, tears in your eyes as Gavriel stepped through the gate. You’d grown to love Gavriel, he’d visited you every time he traveled past your home over the years, always stopping in for a cup of tea, you had your suspicions that he was reporting back to Fenrys but he’d become your friend either way. “Let him go, Aedion.” He fought against you, “He’s doing this for you, the only thing he feels he can do for you.” So the two of you watched as the Lion of Doranelle stood his ground as the gate shut him out.

It was over. It was won. You’d watched from the battlements as Fenrys delivered the killing blow to the tyrant Queen. Had watched them morn Gavriel from the outside while you quietly mourned the Wolf that was no longer with you. Aelin had approached you in the garden one evening, as you sat amongst the flowers, watching the sun disappear, talking to Connall as if he could hear you. “You’re staying.” A fact, a demand from your Queen, not a question. You looked up at her and she smiled, “Rowan’s not so good with the secrets.” You laughed as he huffed behind his wife. “He’ll need you.” You gave her a kind smile, “I doubt that, but if it’s what you wish for, your majesty, I will stay.” She gave you a look that said she knew she was right and turned to leave, “Actually, with your permission, there’s something I’d like to do.” Tears welled in Aelin’s eyes as you told her what you wanted, Rowan approached and smiled and put a hand on your shoulder, “I think that’s a wonderful idea.” He said, Aelin nodded her agreement.

Fenrys found you a week later. “What are you doing out here?” He asked, approaching you in the Royal Graveyard of Terrasen. You were knelt in the dirt, hands covered in it. Flowers surround you, Zinnias for remembrance and goodness, Yellow Carnations for friendship and gratitude, Violets for faithfulness and devotion, Anemones for protection and sacrifice and Daffodils for rebirth and hope. “He mentioned you had become friends over the years…” he trailed off, realising that it wasn’t Gavriel’s grave you were kneeling in front of. You looked at him over your shoulder, and then moved aside to reveal a gravestone, that simply read:

Connall Moonbeam

Brother

Friend

Beloved

Black Wolf of Doranelle

A raw, broken sound left Fenrys as he crashed to his knees at the sight of his brother's grave and you were there, next to him, holding him. “I thought it would be nice if we had somewhere we could talk to him.” You told him quietly as he sobbed into his hands. “He visits me in my dreams, the first time was the night he died. He came to me and told me what had happened. That you needed me. I set off the next day to find Aelin, to help however I could.” Fenrys fell into you, sobbing into your neck. “He kept me safe, when I slept rough, he’d tell me to wake up, to move.” You kept talking as Fenrys calmed slowly, “He had things left to say to me, we both cried as he told me he’d loved me once but he knew, had always known I’d belonged to his brother, that I had to find you, that you’d need me, that after everything, he’d get me to you safely, the last thing he could do for you.” You ran a calming hand down his back, “He had a message for you, he said he loves you, more than anything, he forgives you for everything and he’s sorry for his part, he said that it was meant for you, the dagger, but it was too far and he couldn’t allow it.” Tears were running down your face by the time you finished speaking. “If I could change it, if I could take his place so he could be here with you, I would, in a heartbeat, Fen.”

Fenrys remained quiet for a long time after you had told him everything. He clutched your hand like it was his tether to the earth. Finally he looked up at you, his onyx eyes meeting yours and you saw the exact moment he felt it too, the bond. You watched it wash over him, watched him figure out what it was he was feeling. “You…you’re…” you nodded at him, “Yes, I am.” He blinked, “How long have you known?” He croaked and you let out a humorless laugh, “A long time, Fen.” “How long?” He repeated, “Since before you swore the blood oath.” You admitted, “You’ve known for over 100 years that we’re mates and you never said anything?!” You opened your mouth to reply just as Rowan and Aelin approached, “We’ve all known Boyo, it was fairly obvious.” Aelin elbowed her husband. “You’ve done a wonderful job on Connall’s grave, Y/N.” She said, “I’m sorry I never got to know him.” She said to Fenrys, wrapping him in her arms. “He’d have loved you.” Fenrys mumbled and you and Rowan laughed your agreement.

Over the following weeks Fenrys started coming around more and more. Getting to know you again he’d said. You’d cried as Aedion swore his oath, took his birthright and Fenrys had laughed at you, wiped your tears and held your hand for the rest of the ceremony. “Dance with me?” He asked as the Coronation Ball went on and on. You smiled up at him and took his had, allowing him to lead you to the dance floor and into the first dance. Your body fit against his in the best of ways and from what you felt, he knew it too. It was on your third dance that he seemed to throw caution to the wind and his hand left your waist to cup your face as he brought his lips down to yours. It was like the world had gone silent. He pulled you impossibly closer to him as his kisses descended down your neck. “Let’s get out of here.” He spoke against your neck, “Please?” You begged him. He smirked at you as he pulled you towards the doors.

The two of you only made it a few corridors at a time before you were swept up in kisses and touches again. By the time you were halfway to his room, you realised, he was carrying you, your legs wrapped around his waist, dress up around your hips, his hands on your ass, groaning at the feel of it, of the feel of your teeth against his neck. “Fuck it.” He growled three corridors away from his room as he pinned you against the wall with his hips and pulling the top of your dress down. He groaned as he took in the sight before him and ground his hips into yours causing you to moan. He lowered his head, kisses starting at your neck, trailing down to your chest where he worshiped each breast and nipple, the sensations causing you to writhe against him.

“Can you be quiet for me?” He asked, pulling away from your chest. You nodded eagerly as he sank to his knees, anticipation tightening in your stomach as he threw your legs over his shoulders, his head disappearing under the skirts of your dress. Kisses began traveling up your legs, “No underwear?” He mumbled more to himself than to you as his mouth neared to where you wanted it the most. His tongue licked a broad stripe and you jerked at the sensation, letting out a loud moan. “What did I say about being quiet?” He teased as he head appeared from under your skirts before going right back to where it was before. Your fingers scrambled for something to grab onto and settled for the of your dress that was covering his head as he sucked on your clit, waves of pleasure zinging up and down your spine.

“Please, please, please” you were begging as that familiar coil started to tighten in your stomach. “Please what?” He asked against your clit, the words vibrating beautifully. “Tell me what you want love?” He asked, nipping at your thigh. “Make me cum, Fen, please I’m so close.” You whimpered as he started his minstrations again. Two calloused fingers pushed into you and you threw your head back into the wall, his lips still sucking at you. “Plea-“ your begging was cut off as his fingers curled and hit that perfect spot and the coil in your stomach snapped and you and the world fell apart as your orgasam ripped through you. He kept going, drawing it out as long as he could.

His smirk was feline when he emerged from your dress and set your shaking legs back on the ground. You threw yourself at him so hard he stumbled back into the opposite wall as he caught you. You began attacking his neck with kisses, teeth scraping along his throat as you pulled his shirt out of his trousers and tried to undo the buttons. “Take me to bed. Now.” You breathed against his ear and he froze. Completely froze. His arms dropped away from you and his whole body was ridgid. You pulled away from him, realising quickly what had happened and your heart threatened to disintegrate at that haunted look in his eyes.

“Fenrys?” It was like he couldn’t hear you. Whatever memory of Maeve he was reliving had trapped him and you weren’t sure how to get to him. You had just began to panic when Chaol and Yerene walked down the hallway, “Get Aelin, now!” You snapped at Chaol as Yerene stepped towards him. “Don’t!” She stopped dead and looked at you. “I don’t know what he’s reliving and how he’ll be when he comes out of it, you’re with child.” You said more gently and she nodded in understanding, “Go with Chaol, bring Rowan too!” She nodded as she ran to catch up with her husband. “Fen, please, come back to me.”

Footsteps rushed down the hallway and then Aelin was there, Rowan next to her. Lorcan behind him. Chaol and Yerene behind him. You knew you didn’t fit this picture, this group. So you watched, back against the wall Fenrys had just had you against as the Queen of Terrasen pulled your mate back after you had failed to do so. His eyes cleared and darted around the hallway, he smiled down at Aelin and Rowan clapped him on the shoulder. Lorcan, Chaol and Yerene departed back to the ball as the Queen and King spoke with their Emissary, their friend & you turned and fled. You had done that to him, you were no better than Maeve.

“I don’t know how to do this.” You sobbed, “I don’t know how to be what he needs.” The gravestone didn’t answer. “I wish you were here, Con.” You told him, “It’s not right without you and I keep messing everything up.” You let out some more sobs as Fenrys’ haunted face flashed through your memories again. Twigs breaking behind Connall’s grave had your head shooting up & there he was, your White Wolf. “I’m sorry, Fen, so unbelievably sorry.” You told him as he prowled over to you.

He approached, studying you and your tears, then licked a great stripe right up the side of your face, which caused you to snort in disgust and then laugh. Fenrys huffed out a sound that you assumed was as close to a laugh as he could do as a wolf and then he curled himself around your back, and a contented rumble left his chest as you leant back on him. “I’m sorry I put you back there, I’ll be more careful with my words next time.” You said quietly. He huffed again, nuzzling his face into your side, a feeling of warmth, thanks and understanding filled your chest and you knew it was him. “Can we stay out here with Connall tonight?” You asked, he nodded and put his head down on a massive paw, leaving the other for you as you curled up into his fur. “I love you, Fen.” You mumbled sleepily, “I have for most of my life.” You felt the moment he shifted, arms wrapping around you and pulling you into his chest, “I love you too.” He said, kissing the top of your head.

Connall Moonbeam smiled down at the sight of his twin brother and his best friend, curled up together by a grave that he was not in. It didn’t matter, they had honored him with it anyway. They continued to honor and remember him for the rest of their lives, especially on the day their son was born and they gave him the name Connall Gavriel Moonbeam. Gavriel clapped a hand on his shoulder as he walked away from him, into the arms of the mate he’d been missing for so long. Connall smiled down at his brother and his family one last time and followed Gavriel and his mate into the light, there would be no more dream visits, he had nothing more to offer his friend, besides, he’d see them both again some day.

[parkerslatte]

Throne of Glass Masterlist

Last Updated:

Requests: Open

Total no. of fics: 0

Key:

Fluff = f

Angst = a

Smut = s

•••

•• DORIAN HAVILLIARD ••

N/A

•• ROWAN WHITETHORN ••

N/A

•• CHAOL WESTFALL ••

N/A

•• FENRYS MOONBEAM ••

N/A

[juulle987]

THRONE OF WOLVES

I’m scared of loosing you

⋆ ✶ ★ ☾ ★ ✶ ⋆ Fenrys Moonbeam x Niamh

summary: Hiking is fun, especially in the lovely nature of the Lake District, England, UK. But what if all of the sudden a portal opens and you find yourself in the world of ToG? 

words: 4.2k

warnings: angst, mentions of mental health problems, fluff fluff fluff, Maeve’s a bitch, nudeness, Fenrys Moonbeam (that male is so hot, he’s a warning in himself)

note: English is not my first language, so apologise for any mistakes. This one shot may turn into a little story. Depending on how I feel.

One last time I check if I’ve got everything for today’s hike. Enough water. Food and snacks. Sun cream. Very important. First aid kit. Mobile phone. Power bank. Smart watch. All charged and ready to go. Shades. A change of clothes, and clothes in case it gets rainy or cold. Which I highly doubt, but you never know. You never know. I decided to hike my way up from the town centre in Keswick to Surprising View. It should take me one and a half to two hours. So yeah, not too long but one of the most beautiful hikes I’ve ever been on. It’s the last week of my summer holidays and I want to make the most of it before I go back to work. Hearing children cry, scream, poo and wee all the time. Gods, I love working in a nursery. 

Before I leave the Royal Oak Hotel I make sure to book a table for tonight. I’ll be starving. I’ll need food.

I make my way up to Surprising View, and already the hike there is amazing. I just love being in the nature. It is a usually hot day and so I have to do a few more breaks than I intended to. I sit down by a small stream, take my flask out of my rucksack and take a big drink of water. This was so well needed. As I look around I can’t help but admire the beauty of the nature. Bees. Butterflies. Bugs. If I could I would move far far away, in the middle of nowhere. Just me, myself and I. But as I can’t, I’m enjoying moments like this even more.

After a while I get up and continue my way. When I finally arrive at Surprising View the view is literally taking my breath away. As it always does. No matter how often I come here. I already know where I want to sit down and have a break. Read a bit. Eat and drink something. On my way there I walk along all the trees until I reach a twin tree. Two trees grown together as they are so close together. I decide to walk straight through them. I’m even thinking about bringing a hammock the next time and putting it in between these two. It would make an amazing relaxing place for me. 

As soon as I step through the trees something feels off. I can still see my surroundings but they seem to be blurred out. It stills feels as I’m here, but somehow not. I blink once and all of a sudden I’m surrounded by forest. A different forest than it was on my way here. It’s quiet. Too quiet. I turn around to try to walk through the trees again, but they are gone. I must be dreaming. That’s the only explanation I’ve got. I hear some weird noises and it’s clear that this is definitely not a dream. I’m sweating even more. Not knowing where I am. Or what the hell is going on. I take my phone out of my pocket - no service. Of course. After a moment of contemplating I decide to make my way out of this forest. After about twenty minutes of walking I end up in an open clearing. In front of a small hill. Well, that’s a start. This at least means that somewhere around someone must live. At least I really hope so. I walk uphill and as soon as I’m standing a top, I see a huge villa? No, that’s too small for a villa. A castle? I’ve never seen a castle before, but I assume that by the size… It’s huge. Did I already say that?  I see something that looks like a street and decide to follow it towards the castle. I mean, what could possibly go wrong? As I approach the gates, which are golden, of course, I can finally hear other voices. My heart jumps in my chest at the prospect of help. I start going faster, making my way closer and closer to my current destination.

Just as I was about to walk through the gates, a huge white wolf appears in front of me. All I can see are his beautiful onyx coloured eyes. And for whatever reason I’m not even afraid of him. Do I like wolves? Yes. Do I even have a wolf tattoo all over my left arm? Also yes. Do I just want to get closer to him and snuggle myself into his fur? Fuck yes.

“Who are you?” 

Did- did the wolf just speak? I feel like getting dizzy. The world around me blurring. I can’t seem to concentrate on one point to calm myself down. That’s when I see the wolf turning into a human being. 

Next thing I know is me waking up in an unknown bed. As soon as I opened my eyes, I want to close them again. It’s just too bright in here. Protectively I put a hand over my eyes to let them adjust.  Even though my eyes don’t want to work, my eyes work perfectly. I can make out several voices. Men and women. 

“Who is she?” “Where does she come from?” “Why is she here? Have you had any letters, Aelin?” “No, I did not, Rowan. Did you?” “Where exactly did you find her, Fenrys?” “At the gates. She was just walking around. Trying to go through.” “I didn’t just try to walk through!” I spit. Not able to contain any of my emotions. I slowly open my eyes. I’m greeted with a women with blonde hair, dressed in, what I suppose, are training clothes. A man with white hair. His entire left side of his face covered in tattoos. And next to him…

“You are the wolf.” “You’re quite clever, little one, aren’t you?” “Well, I’m trying my best after being thrown into”, I point around at my surroundings, “this. Where am I even? And who are you?” “Why don’t you answer our questions first?” It was the wolf man speaking again. For fox’s sake! What are we playing here? Ringelpiez mit anfassen oder was? I roll my eyes and nod. “Who are you?” “Niamh.” “Of?” ”What do you mean of?” “Where are you from?”  “Lancaster. England. United Kingdom.” “Where on earth is that?”

I wondered if they really are that stupid or if they are Americans.

“In Europe. You know, the continent?”

All I see is them looking at me as if I’d be nuts.

“How did you get here?”

So I tell them the story. All three of them just look at me. Not able to say anything.  Until Aelin finally breaks the silence: “So you are telling us you came through a portal and that you’re from a different world?”

I nod.

“Do you remember where it was?” Asks Rowan.

“In the forest? When I turned around to go through it again, it was gone. Look, I’m really sorry to put of all you through this trouble. I will just get my things and leave. Thank you for your hospitality.” I make to get up, out of bed. I make my way over to my things and shoulder my rucksack. Just as I’m about to leave, Fenrys grabs me by my arm. I look up at him and once again am fascinated by his onyx eyes. They seem to draw me in closer. A feeling I’ve never felt before. He looks down my sleeve tattoo and his eyes stay at the wolf head. Then his eyes go up to mine again and he says “You’re staying.”

🐺

It has been nearly a year since I ended up in Orynth. Terrassen. Erilea. A world full of wonders. Fae. Demi-Fae. Fae warriors. Witches. Whatnot. Whenever she’s got time Aelin teaches me. So does Rowan. I met all of Aelin’s family and friends. Hence how I know about witches and all that kind of stuff. But the one that is constantly by my side - and in my mind - is Fenrys. He really helped me adapting to the situation. To settle into this new world. I can’t deny that I’ve grown close to him. It’s like… 

Something nudges me on my cheek before liking a big stripe down my face. I’m currently lying in the grass, enjoying the sunshine during this wonderful warm summer day. I open my eyes to see Fenrys sitting next to me. His white fur gleaming in the sun. A cocky smile on his face. I motion for him to lay down too, and as he does he puts his head on my chest. Demanding that I caress his head. This are the moments I enjoy the most. Just knowing that he’s here. 

“I had a child yesterday at work… Holy!” Fenrys looks up as to tell me to continue.  “They injured another child so badly, we had to call in a healer. Not to mention that their parents were more than just furious.” Once again Fenrys nudges me.  “I know it wasn’t my fault, I wasn’t even in the room when it happened. But I still feel responsible.”

A gleam of light indicates that Fenrys is turning back into his Fae form. Butt naked. I roll my eyes and take one of his underwear shorts out of my bag to throw it at him.

“Last night you had no problems seeing me naked.”  “Because you’re always naked. And you had a nightmare. Do you really think in that situation I only got eyes for your dick?” I raise an eyebrow, looking straight at him. He’s still holding his underpants in his hands. His abs beautifully sculptured. Muscles in all the right places. That sexy V-line going down his hips to his private area… I have to bite my lower lip not to act on some primal urge.

“Certainly you’ve got that now.” Fenrys replies with a wink. “Because he’s pointing straight at me.” His cock is standing in attention. I can’t deny that it isn’t a sight I don’t like to indulge in. But maybe not necessarily here in public.

“He likes you just as much as his owner.”

I can feel my cheeks blush. Fenrys and I - we are friends. He helped me to get acquainted with this new live and I help him with his nightmares. It wasn’t long after I first stepped foot into this world that I heard screaming throughout the castle. It came from Fenrys’s room. When I opened the door I knew what was going on. I woke him from his nightmare and held him, all night long. While he remained in his wolf form. And it’s been like that ever since. Sometimes I feel like Fenrys is like an older brother. On the other hand I can’t deny my feelings for him. I wouldn’t dare to act on my feelings. I’m too scared that once I allow myself to open up to him, I’ll vanish through a portal again. Never to see him again.

Reluctantly he puts his boxers on and starts: “Niamh, you know you’re an amazing teacher. It is not your fault that the other staff is incapable of handling children.” “But it would’ve come back to me. As head of the department.” He sits down and takes me into his arms. As soon as his familiar scent hits me, I start to relax. “Is anything going to happen now?” His head rests on top of mine. Kissing me briefly on my head. “I have to send my staff to a special training. And for the curse of two months there always has to be someone in the room supervising my staff. Means, if I need a toilet or go for my break or have to do other things, I first have to get cover.”  “But that’s impossible.” “I know. That’s why I already thought about wearing nappies again.”

Both Fenrys and I start laughing at that. I can feel his vibrations flowing through my body. Listening to his heartbeat, smelling and feeling him, making me feel safe. Lulling me into a peaceful twenty minute nap. When I wake up my head rests on his chest. His arm wrapped around me, as my arm wrapped around his waist. My legs tangled with his. I open my eyes slowly, looking up at him. His eyes are closed but I know he’s not sleeping. All I can do is admiring his beauty. His wonderful golden locks. His nose. Those lips. I always wonder if they are as soft as I imagine them to be. The twin scars on his face. During his sleepless nights he has told me nearly all the stories about the Cadre, Maeve, Aelin and Rowan, the Valgs, about the time Aelin was in an iron coffin and Fenrys stayed by her side in his wolf form, how he got his scars and his Gavriel tattoo. The only thing he doesn’t talk about often is his twin brother. And he never talks about what Maeve did to both of them, but especially Fenrys. Nevertheless I can feel his fear and disgust each and every time he dreams of her. And each and every time I wish I could take those memories away from him. To let him finally live freely. Without the shackles of his past. 

I don’t dare to move. Just relishing in the feeling of having him so close. I’m aware what we look like and I’m also aware of what the others think. I want to tell him how much I’ve fallen for him. How much I love him. But I can’t. The constant fear of being thrown back into my own world - always present. 

“I can hear you thinking.” “I’m sorry. I should better be going anyway.” “Don’t you like me as a pillow?” I can feel the smirk on his face. “No, Fenrys Moonbeam, I love you as my personal pillow very much, thank you. But I’ve got to get ready with the other. And so do you.”Fenrys lets out a huff. Tonight is the yearly summer ball. You can compare it to midsummer in our world. But as we live in a castle, it’s more extravagant, so to speak. I try to get up but Fenrys pulls me back in. Both his hands now resting on my hips. “Will you allow me to dance with you tonight, my lady?” A smile forming across my face as I reply: “Of course, my Prince Charming.”  Our faces are so close that my heart starts beating faster. If he would kiss me now, I wouldn’t find the strength in me to resists. But instead I pull away from him, get up, gather my things and bid him goodbye. 

The room is filled with laughter, perfume, alcohol and all of Aelin’s female friends and family. Most of them are already dressed and dolled up for later. I can’t deny it, but Aelin in her golden dress just looks breathtakingly beautiful. Next to her, in my plain black dress I more feel like I’m invisible. Which I don’t necessarily mind. Less attention.

“So, are you finally going to tell Fen what you truly feel for him?” Lysandra brings me back from my thoughts into the here and now. I shake my head.  “Why not?” It is Elise asking while she puts her long hair into a braid. “I’m not from this world. What if a portal opens and I just slip through. I’d loose him, I’d loose all of you forever. I- I just can’t.” “Oh Niamh.” Now it’s Aelin speaking. “I do not know how that must feel for you. All I know is how it feels to fear not to see your loved ones ever again. If you don’t act now, you’d might regret it in the future though. No matter what your future still got in store for you.” Aelin makes me think. By now I know all the stories about how they met each other. Aelin and Rowan. Lysandra and Aedion. Elide and Lorcan. Dorian and Manon.  Elide. Lorcan. Dorian. Manon. Those four names keep repeating in my head.  Two humans. One Demi-Fae. One Witch.  The longer I think about it, the scarier it gets. Even if I should be lucky to never return to my old life, I’ll die nonetheless. Fenrys is 144 years old. I’m 27. He will live for nearly forever. I’ll die in approximately 60 years. Already now I cannot imagine a life without him anymore. How is it going to be when we’ve lived so many decades together? I have to swallow hard as not to start crying. I want to enjoy this evening. I want to dance and eat and drink. I want to have fun with my friends. Who, by now, are more like a family. With one last deep breath I straighten myself, as to signalling that I am ready to go. All together we walk from our room, in which we got ready, to the main location. It is the ball hall in the castle. For this event it has been decorated beautifully with lots and lots of fae lights, candles and flowers everywhere. The outside area is also decorated. A white fabric tent in the middle of the garden, decorated with lots of, again, fae lights and candles. Fluffy cushions and blankets are laid across the floor, making it very inviting. Some chairs, daybeds and other very comfortable looking sitting (or lying down) options have been added all around the tent. Torches all around. Making everything look like in a fairytale. Being honest this is how I feel right now. Like being in the middle of a fairytale. 

As soon as we enter the hall all eyes are on us. Or maybe just on Aelin and her dress. Which again is absolutely gorgeous. Rowan is coming closer towards his wife, taking her into his and leading her to their thrones. 

“Thank you everyone for joining us this year. As you all know I’m not a huge fan of speeches, so let the party begin!” And with that the music starts, people start dancing. Children are running around. This is amazing. All of my friends have found their partners and are either dancing, eating or having conversations with others. I look around the room but cannot seem to find Fenrys. So I make my way to the drinks. Can’t say no to a nice glass of wine. As I’m standing on the edge of the dance floor I can feel a presence coming up behind me. Shortly after I can smell the so familiar scent of him - Fenrys. His arms wrap around my waist, his head resting on my shoulder.

“You look … you just look breathtakingly beautiful.” “I’d like to say the same, but unfortunately I can’t.” He knows what I mean and twirls me around so I can face him. My breath catches in my throat for a few long seconds. He’s wearing black leather pants, a black button up shirt that reveals his muscled chest. His hair hanging over his shoulder. His too well known smirk on his lips. “Do you like what you see? Take a picture of it so it lasts longer.” We both laugh at that little joke. After I arrived here I showed him my phone and took a picture of us. One of my fondest memories. “Would you like to dance?” He holds his hand open for me. I place my glass on the table before I take his hand. He then leads me onto the dance floor, apparently just in time for a slow dance. It is by no means the first time we’ve dance together, but somehow this feels different. We are so close to each other, I can feel his breath on my skin. His one hand rests on the small of my back, while his other is holding my hand. My other hand is slung around his shoulder. In swift moves Fenrys swirls us around the dance floor. I’m so totally and completely lost in the moment that all I can see is him. Unfortunately that’s also the moment I can feel my anxiety and panic raise. It is getting harder for me to breathe. I need to get out of here. Now. I untangle myself from Fenrys’s grip and as fast as my feet can carry me I run outside. I need fresh air. I need to be able to breathe again. I find somewhere where I can be on my own. I feel like drowning. Feel like suffocating. I have to remind myself of my breathing technique:

Breathe in Breathe out for four seconds Breathe in Breathe out for seven seconds Breathe in Breathe out for ten seconds

I do this until I can feel my heart slowing down again. Allowing me to breathe again. But not for too long. Once again he is standing behind me. Watching me. And I’ve got no fucking idea what to do. I can feel that he his getting closer. Now standing right behind me. He doesn’t reach for me. He is just there.

After a while he asks so silently it’s barely a whisper: “What are you afraid of?”

I don’t have it in me to turn around. My hands are balled into fists. Then relaxing. Fists again. After calming myself down and noticing that I started crying, I turn around and face him.

“I’m scared of losing you. I’m scared that one day a portal will open. That I’ll never see you again. I’m afraid that- that I fall for you even more than I already have. I’m scared that-“ I swallow, breathing out. “I’m scared that one day I will love you even more than I already do. Just to never see you again.” My tears are flowing freely over my eyes. I’m unable to stop crying. Fenrys cups my cheeks. Wiping some of the tears away. His forehead on mind. Our noses touching. “I’ve been falling for you the moment I saw you walking through those gates. Since that day a year ago I never wanted to spend a day without you by my side. I want to spend my life with you. And even if I get to only spend a day with you, it still will be the best of my life. Niamh, I love you.” “You- you mean that?” “Each and every word. After spending a hundred years under and with Maeve, I never thought that one day I’ll be able to find - you. To find love. To find someone I can open up to. Someone who- who will be there for me. Whenever I need you, you are there. You are the one guiding me through my night terrors. Never judging me. Never pushing me. Niamh, I’m so utterly and completely lost in you. I’d be a fool to let you go.”

My hands, which were resting on his chest, now grab his shirt and my lips crash onto his. Fenrys kisses me back and the kiss turns into something more than just passion. It’s longing. Desire. Happiness. Love. Future.

Fenrys’s hands move down my body. Exploring it in a way he’s never done before. When he reaches my thighs and cups them, I know he’s going to lift me up and I let him. My legs wrapping around his waist, my arms now wrapped around his head, tangled in his hair. First when neither of us can breathe anymore we part our lips.

“I love you, Fenrys.”

Once again our lips and tongues connect and I can feel something strange happening within my chest. I’m so confused that I stop kissing him. He notices and puts me down, without letting go of me.

“You are my mate.”

My eyes widen as his words leave his mouth. I’m his mate. Now everything makes sense. Why I felt so drawn to him. Why I had to think about him all the time. Why I just can’t fucking be without him. . 

“That is if you even want me as your mate.” “Oh Fen, don’t be ridiculous. Of course I don’t.” The way I say it he knows I’m playing with him. He scoops me up again and twirls us around. His laughter so warm and full of love. I don’t ever want to leave his arms ever again. I don’t ever not want to feel his lips on mine. I don’t ever want to leave this place.  I’ve got no idea how much time has passed. And being quite honest, I don’t care either. 

“Do you- do you want to go back inside?” I contemplate for a second before looking at him.  “Naaah, not really. But I’d like to test your claim of your indestructible bed.” “As you wish, my lady.”

(The only way Fenrys and I tested the bed that night was my cuddling and kissing. I do know how difficult it for him, even after all these years, to commit to something as huge as intimacy. But I’m willing to give him the time he needs. The last thing I want to happen is me being a second Maeve. He’s my little Moon Moon after all 🥰)

[mariaofdoranelle]

Royal Rebels — Chapter 2: The Peace Attempt

Masterlist

I tried to make this the least info-dumpy I could, but we really need to know what brought Aelin to Mistward lol anyway I hope you like it!!

Warnings: angst, language, very low violence

Word count: 4,1k

O==[::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::>

Stop burning your hair

Aelin dropped the dishes she was already aggressively scrubbing and hissed, “Stop infiltrating my mind.” She had a feeling their true identity would be known soon, considering the amount of times Dorian worked on his magic whenever he couldn’t smell anyone close.

“I need to practice Maeve’s powers with someone. Preferably before your hair fall off.”

Aelin groaned. “I’m just straightening it.” She couldn’t wait to go home, where her hair didn’t get frizzy because of the humidity. Where she had a protein-based diet that helped her training, even though Emrys was a miracle worker with the few resources he had. God, it had been a bit more than a month since Aelin left the castle, but she missed Phillipa’s dessert trays terribly. Her servant would be scandalized if she saw the way Aelin was keeping her clothes now.

I won’t get mad if you decide to go back, you know.

Aelin jumped on her spot and swore while clutching her chest. Dorian seemed firm, but she had known those shuffling feet for years. “If you’re using mind tricks to make me quit the mission, it’s working. This is getting beyond creepy, you’re teaching me how to block this thing first thing tomorrow.” Aelin looked around the kitchen and tried to keep her voice light when she said, “Besides, this isn’t even how it works. My mom told me it’s more like a story she tells in your head.” Dorian was frowning at a pile of cups and cleared his throat. Aelin had avoided this topic for hours, now the only thing she could do was brace herself for what was coming.

“Maybe your friends from Doranelle could give us some information on her.”

Oh, now he decided to use his voice? She could feel Dorian’s gaze on her, but decided to focus back on scrubbing the dishes. It was impossible not to hear the gossip about Rowan’s exile, but she didn’t know how much of that was true. Was he just faking this situation, like he did in Terrasen? Was he never lying about the motives that led him there? That seemed unlikely. Aelin would be lying if she said the idea of bumping into Rowan again hadn’t crossed her mind as she planned her journey along with Dorian, keeping last spring out of her mind was harder every inch she neared Doranelle.

Aelin’s thoughts were racing, but they still weren’t going anywhere. When Emrys introduced her to Rowan and Fenrys earlier that day, she just greeted the two and rushed to the vegetables. Fast and indifferent. But she was so shocked she did a terrible job cutting them, so Dorian used his phantom hands to cover for her. She ground her teeth as her whole body tensed. Trying to figure Rowan out had been too distracting last year, she couldn’t afford to go there again considering the urgency of the mission she had now.

“They’re not my friends,” she eventually acknowledged.

“You wound me, Celaena.”

Both Aelin and Dorian jerked to the source of that interruption. Fenrys had just teleported to the kitchen, since the doors were too creaky for someone to sneak up on them like he did. Fenrys Moonbeam, in all his blonde, tan, smirking glory. Just like Aelin and half of her castle remembered. But probably in different ways.

Their intruder leaned on a wooden table. He wore his trademark smirk, but there was something off about it. “I smelled something burning across the hall and figured you’d be here.”

Dorian just looked at Aelin and he didn’t need to infiltrate her mind again for her to know his thoughts. I told you so. Then he looked around the room and said, “I’m going to get my beans.”

Seeing Fenrys’s confused face when Dorian left, Aelin added, “Dorian’s addicted to anascaul beans. He brought a pack and we cook it at night.”

“I remember them. They only grow in harsh winters, right?”

“Yeah.”

Fenrys was running his thumb through a smashed corner of the table. God, that was awkward. Aelin was feeling a pang on guilt about what she said before. Despite being wary of him when they first met, she really liked Fenrys. She shouldn’t let him get caught in the crossfire between Rowan and her. Aelin took a seat and settled another beside her for Fenrys.

“How’s life as an exile?”

That owned her a small smile. “Better than I imagined. Rowan and I have plans to grovel to Galan so he can give us a job.” He sat beside her and sighed. “I don’t give a fuck about not living in Doranelle anymore. Being poor really sucks, though.”

Aelin chuckled a little, but then asked, “Do you regret doing it?”

Fenrys frowned and bit the inside of his cheek. “No. In fact, I wish I had stood up against Maeve sooner. If I could go back in time, the only thing I would change is the way I did it.”

“That was so dumb,” Aelin giggled, and then the two of them were chuckling at Fenrys’s disaster of a murder attempt.

“I thought you were loyal to her.” As much as she wanted, Aelin couldn’t bring herself to ask what she was actually aching to know. What happened in the past year? What made Rowan change his mind? As if sensing her thoughts, Fenrys was the most solemn Aelin had ever seen him when he answered her.

“I’ve always been loyal to Rowan, not Maeve.”

Aelin was scrambling her mind for an answer when Dorian came back and filled a pot with his beans. Fenrys’s eyebrows went to his hairline.

“What the hell are you doing, pretty boy?”

“Cooking my beans,” Dorian said with a shrug.

“You need to sort and rinse them first.” Fenrys grabbed the beans and spread them on a kitchen towel. “You know, I’m a farm-bred warrior. If you two need anything, just tell me.”

Aelin raised an eyebrow at him. “Do you happen to know how to make shoes? I asked Emrys where could I find a pair, but he just gave me two blocks of wood and some leather hides.”

Fenrys’s cackle boomed through the kitchen as Dorian bit his lip trying not to laugh at his friend as well. In fact, Dorian better not laugh at her. When she came to him, he had absolutely no idea what to do with the tools too.

“When I say I was raised on a farm, I actually mean a massive manor in the southeast.” Fenrys grimaced at them. “Anyway, you can buy shoes in the city, but it’s a day trip. And I don’t mean just peasantry life, you can count me in for whatever thing you’re doing, it’s not like I have a job to keep me busy. I’m sure Rowan feels the same.”

Aelin paled as her mind started racing. Fenrys gave her two kicks in the gut as he sorted beans like it was nothing. One for figuring out her intentions, another for suggesting she would ask for Rowan’s help.

Fenrys cocked his head with an amused smile. “Should I believe you came here just to enjoy the weather?”

“That was the same thing I was asking myself in Terrasen.” Aelin refused to back down.

Dorian interjected. “Please. Don’t. I’ve read about this discussion too many times in Aelin’s letters already.”

Fenrys leaned back on his chair. “Don’t worry, pretty boy. If I remember correctly, Aelin and Rowan had a truce.” Fenrys smirked at Aelin while answering Dorian.

“A peace treaty,” she said through gritted teeth, “That was very brief and ineffective.”

“Maybe we should make another peace treaty tomorrow morning.”

Every instinct Aelin had was telling her to back out, but she couldn’t. That was Dorian’s mission, not hers. When Aelin looked at her friend, he was looking back at her, uncertainty filling his eyes and she knew why. As much as Dorian didn’t want to do anything that made her uncomfortable, they were both eager to go home. Talking to people who last week were close to Maeve would be beneficial.

“I’ll be at the upstairs study tomorrow morning after breakfast. If you and Whitethorn decide to go or not, I don’t care.”

Fenrys opened his mouth, but then glanced at the table and turned back to Dorian. ”You need to discard the broken beans as well.”

Dorian wore a pinched expression, but still let Fenrys teach him how to treat his beans. Good. Aelin’s mind was still going in circles, she had less than one night to recollect herself and plan their next meeting. There would be time to hang out with her friends later.

˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜

Entering her arms and armor closet, the first thing she noticed was Rowan sat on a cushioned chair, unbothered by being requested to a mysterious meeting with Aelin of the Wildfire at a room filled with weapons. Aelin herself knew grown men who would be pissing their pants by now.

“Thank you for your assistance, Philippa.” Aelin had every intention to keep this conversation as private as possible. That was why, even though she had picked her most trusted servant to escort Rowan to one of the most secluded areas of the castle, Philippa had to be dismissed for this conversation.

Having no idea how this would go, so she decided to eat first.

“Won’t you at least drink the tea, Whitethorn?”

“Is it poisoned?”

Aelin gazed at him, sending a too-sweet smile. “Would you drink it if it was?”

Rowan glowered at her, but poured himself some cardamom tea.

“Are you too good for the food also?”

“I don’t like sweets.”

Aelin wrinkled her nose. “Disgusting. I should’ve seen this coming from you.”

Rowan took a deep breath. “Why am I here?”

“We’re here for a peace treaty,” she prompted while straightening her posture and picking a sword that was near her.”

He raised his eyebrows. “In here?” Looking around, he said, “Your father failed to show me this room of the Royal Armories. It’s quite impressive.”

She hoped Rowan couldn’t see how happy his comment made her. Aelin’s closet was her baby. A smile began to form on her face, but then she gripped the sword tighter, as if it would help her control her emotions. “Do you want peace or not?”

“You know, provoking me until I try to kill you is a terrible tactic. After five days of this, I’m still not sure if you want to have a reason to officially execute me, or just banish me from Terrasen.”

Aelin sighed. “Honestly, I’d be happy with either.”

The corner of his mouth quirked up. “That’s... Not surprising at all. Go on with the truce.”

“Treaty.” She narrowed her eyes at him.

Rowan bit his lip. “Forgive me, Milady. What does this treaty entail?”

Aelin had to glance away to her sword. This wasn’t about Rowan, she just had poor reactions to being called milady. Clearing her throat, she explained, “I’ll give my best to stay out of your way, but for every day I leave you alone, you must train at least two hours with General Ashryver and The Bane. I don’t need to mention that if you try to kill me, the peace treaty is over, right?”

Rowan pursed his lips and leaned back on his seat, crossing his arms. “Why are you doing this?”

“You and I aren’t the only ones being affected by this feud.” Which meant her family and the council were pissed ever since she burned his door.

“So you’re telling me that you’ll stop whether I agree with this or not, the only difference is that I’ll have to work now.”

“Wrong. The Treaty is the only guarantee that I’ll leave you alone.” Actually, he was right. Somehow, the people at the castle started to like Fenrys and his dull bastard friend, making her look like the paranoid one. She’d think of another tactic soon.

He raised one eyebrow at her. She narrowed her eyes at him. If this was a battle of wills, she wasn’t going to give up soon.

Rowan sighed. “What makes you think your cousin will agree to train with me?”

Aelin had to hide a snort. If only he knew. Leaning back, she answered, “Let’s say he’s an admirer of your legacy as a warrior. All of the glaring you receive from him is out of loyalty. If you agree to be at peace with me, you’re at peace with him too.”

Rowan pressed and wet his lips as he considered her offer, which made her mirror his movement and immediately focus back on the sword on her lap. Just to give him some visual privacy until he surrendered.

“Okay, then. I agree with your terms.”

They both got up from their seats. Aelin offered a handshake, but immediately regretted it as his touch sent a thrill through her body. A little breathless, she established, “The Whitethorn-Galathynius Treaty starts now.” She tried to burn his hand a little, but he used his ice magic to block her attack while sending her a knowing look and swallowing. The bastard.

˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜

On the next day, Aelin woke up knowing what she had to do. Eat while cooking by snatching little bits of the food here and there, and then be the first to get at the meeting. Except that, when she got to the hall, it was easy to scent a trail of pine and snow leading to the study.

When she opened the door, Rowan was sat on one of the four wooden chairs available, behind a equally wooden desk. He didn’t portray any emotion, and neither did she. In that moment, Aelin was nothing but a blank mind and a pounding heartbeat.

“I wasn’t expecting to meet you again, Celaena.”

“Didn’t you eat?” Aelin moved one chair, sitting right in front of him with crossed arms.

“I drank water.”

She rolled her eyes. By her lack of response, he demanded, “What are you doing here?” Why did he fucking care? Rowan didn’t even have a country to protect or call his anymore.

“I went to visit Galan in Varese and my friend dragged me here.” She tilted her head, studying him. “Isn’t that your standard answer, Whitethorn?” He didn’t let out a single sign of his emotions, but she knew his hands would be likely pressed into fists, hidden behind the table. He seemed to be better composed today. Rowan’s reputation made him sound pretty apathetic, but Aelin was quick to disagree on that. From the first day, it hadn’t been difficult to rile rim up.

“Is this why you called this meeting?”

Aelin took a deep breath and looked right into the green eyes that seemed to swallow her whole. “Why should I trust an old nemesis who committed treason?”

Rowan blinked, but maintained eye contact. “You shouldn’t. At least I wouldn’t.” He sounded so genuine it threw her off-balance. Again. So she blurted the first thing that crossed her mind.

“If I knew your murder attempts were so poorly executed, I wouldn’t have put up that much of a fight about your visit.” Aelin meant that as an insult, but it was easy to see Rowan’s poor reaction. At first his eyes sparkled, followed by a twitch on his facial muscles that for a millisecond tugged on the left end of his lips. If anyone had taken their eyes off him for a blink, they would miss it. But Aelin didn’t. After schooling his face into neutrality, Rowan narrowed his eyes at her. On that exact moment, both Fenrys and Dorian entered the study.

The blonde male gave them a wide grin and turned to Dorian, saying, “I told you Rowan would be here already! I know the drill sergeant like the back of my hand.” Said drill sergeant just gave an exasperated sigh.

“So, where was she in the story?” Apparently, Dorian meant business today.

Rowan tilted his head at him. “The Princess refuses to tell me anything.”

“Why would I explain to you what I’m doing here if you never deigned to tell me what the fuck you were doing in Terrasen?”

“Are we really having this discussion again?”

“Fuck you!”

Rowan’s eyes crinkle as he seemed to say with his gaze, You’d love that, wouldn’t you?

Aelin’s face flushed with embarrassment, anger, something else she wouldn’t dare think about. “Now that I think about it, I can actually kill you, you know? Maeve doesn’t give a fuck about you. In fact, now there isn’t a soul that cares about you enough to start a war,” she snapped.

“Go on, then.” Rowan’s shoulders were completely strained, and she could see the vessel on the right side on his neck that gave a slight appearance when he was angry. He explained through clenched teeth, “Don’t you want to kill me? Kill me. Now.”

Yes. She wanted to kill him. Badly. Aelin had waited an entire year for this, didn’t she? She frowned at him and rose from her chair, clutching the dagger she had hidden underneath her clothes. Taking hesitant steps towards him, she bit the inside of her cheek. He was looking at her without moving a single muscle to fight. After so long, would she kill in a study in the middle of nowhere? They should probably schedule a duel or—

Dorian decided it was a good idea to interrupt her murder and cleared his throat. “Maybe I should begin the meeting?”

Fuck, she was the worst friend ever. Dorian actually wanted something from Rowan, and she nearly killed him. One second more and he would be dead.

Then, Dorian started fill the boys in, telling them in detail about how Maeve sent his father a letter notifying her first visit in six hundred years to discuss a partnership between Doranelle and Adarlan. And how his idiot father thought it was an amazing idea. A few months later, she was very well received. The Glass Castle’s hospitality was so great she felt free to play with the King of Adarlan’s mind until she enslaved him with a blood-oath. It didn’t even take five minutes of her time. When she turned to Dorian to do the same, he shifted into a cockroach and ran for his life. Maeve tried to catch him, and even tried to murder him by stomping on his roach form, but then Dorian managed to run and reach Orynth to seek help. And there they were.

“Fuck.”

That was Fenrys’s only response as he stared into the void with a very pale face. When he clutched his stomach, Rowan got up and put his two hands on his friend’s shoulder like it was an involuntary response.

“Fenrys has an emotional stomach. I’m healing him so he won’t throw up,” he explained after receiving equally puzzled looks from Aelin and Dorian.

“Yep. That’s the only reason I keep him around.” Rowan looked at the ceiling and sighed, but it was clear he was trying to stop his cheeks from twitching.

Dorian tilted his head at Fenrys. “You’re in the army.” He wasn’t anymore, but Aelin didn’t feel like pointing it out.

“Yeah, that never helps.” Aelin hadn’t seen him like this in Terrasen, but maybe it was because things were pretty smooth over there for him. For a moment, she wondered how it must have been for him doing Hellas knows what on Maeve’s behalf.

Rowan cleared his throat. Still with his hands on Fenrys’s shoulders, he made eye contact with Dorian and asked, “How are you?”

“Determined. I didn’t do enough to protect my country. That won’t happen again.”

“Good.” Rowan looked at both Aelin and Dorian now. “What are you going to do?”

She sighed. “The council gave us six months to solve this however we like, but their main condition is that we can’t start a war.” Rowan raised his eyebrows, but didn’t say anything. Yes, she knew it was an impossible task. She also knew she could totally do this. Peacefully. Because she was a peaceful future leader. Which made her straighten her posture and continue, “That’s why we’ll kill her very discreetly.” Doranelle couldn’t start a war against Terrasen based on a suspicion, right?

“The same way I tried to kill Maeve very discreetly?”

Aelin squinted her eyes at the buzz-kill. So typical of Rowan. She could enter the castle, kill the bitch, make it look like a robbery or maybe a very sudden deadly disease, and leave. No one would question it, the female was old as dust. Literally four thousand years old. The oldest Fae alive. Could a tree outlive her? Aelin had no idea.

Fenrys tilted his head. “So discreetly you didn’t bring Aedion? I’m surprised he didn’t hide on the ship so he could come with you.” Aelin bit her lip. Yeah. About that.

Aelin could sense the laughter Dorian was repressing, but he swallowed it and said, “Of course he came.” But then his body started trembling, and he could barely manage to complete, “With the whole Bane!” Aelin’s cheeks immediately flushed. She would kill Dorian. In his sleep. And she’d tell people it was Maeve so she could kill her to allegedly avenge the death of her best friend.

Fenrys was cackling, but managed to joke at her, “You want to discreetly kill Maeve with an entire army behind you?”

Aelin gaped, incredulous. He was not as funny as he thought he was. “Excuse you. They’re in Varese! Until I send for them or Aedion grows too impatient.” But then she smiled at their friends’s amusement. Her overbearing parents made The Bane cross the ocean because they were too worried about leaving her alone with Dorian. It was so ridiculous she started laughing with them too. Except for Rowan, of course, only stared at them, paying close attention to the conversation.

After they recomposed themselves, Dorian carried on, “And there’s the part where Aelin and I disagree. She wants to study Maeve’s defenses and strike, but I’d rather pull some strings to degenerate her reputation as a queen first, so no one will come after us if things go bad.”

Fenrys’s laughter got bitter. “Her reputation as a queen is already fucked. The peasants pay five different taxes, the city’s too violent because everyone’s starving, the nobles want to help Maeve before everything goes to shit but she won’t let them. Do you want me to keep going?” Seeing his friend was better already, Rowan took a step back and and blinked at Aelin and Dorian a few times.

“So you two came to a foreign land you’ve never visited with a massive army you don’t know what to do with and thought it would be a good idea to plan along the way?” After his angry remark, the room was deadly silent.

“I have many plans,” Aelin barked after a few moments.

“You have many ideas and absolutely no consistent plan.”

Aelin glared at him. “Do you want to tell me a few tips on how to kill the most heavily guarded monarch in the world, then? Because that worked out so well for you!” Aelin hadn’t noticed she was screaming on her feet until the room fell silent and she was being stared at by everyone. Great. She took a few steps back, leaned on the wall with crossed arms and glared at Rowan.

He only took a deep breath. “I’m sending for Sellene.” His cousin? That works side by side with Maeve? What the fuck?

“You’re kidding me.”

“I won’t act behind her back again.”

Aelin gaped. He didn’t seem to be kidding. “Did I invite you to be my killing buddy?”

Before anyone could answer her, a demi-Fae with unusually nice clothing and very deep onyx eyes entered the room, making Aelin hiss, “This room is already being used.” It was Rowan’s fault, he air shielded every room he was in, and then no one could know it was being occupied by the noise. She could sense Rowan’s shield on her skin, and in the next second the demi-Fae slammed her face-first on the wall, pinning all of her limbs. At first, Aelin froze. Her heart was pounding as she thought of what to do. No one knew her real identity, and Mistward rarely received visitors.

Without thinking much further, she barked at demi-Fae stranger, “That’s fucking rude, I just moved in here!”

Rowan was already up from his chair when he demanded, “What the fuck do you want, Lorcan?”

So considerate of him to start negotiations when Aelin’s face was already flat against the wall.

TAG LIST

@morganofthewildfire

@elentiyawhitethorn

@leiawritesstories

@throneofus7

@a-man-with-both-hearts-broken

@swankii-art-teacher

@rowanaelinn

[shadowdaddies]

Reunited - Part II

Fenrys x Reader

Part I | Part III

Summary: after years of working as a spy in Adarlan, you are finally reunited with your cousin, Aelin, as you join the war to reclaim Terrasen and bring peace to Erilea. What you don't expect is to meet your mate in the middle of a war.

A/N: this story will have at least two more parts; this one is very angsty I’m sorry

Warnings: canon-typical violence, EOS spoilers

The door to the pub slammed behind Aedion with such a force that you flinched in your seat. 

“He will come around,” you murmured, reaching your hand across the table towards your father. You sighed softly at Gavriel’s dejected expression, taking his hand in your own as you mustered a weak smile. “I’ll talk to him,” you promised, knowing the sway you held with your brother.

Your father’s tawny eyes shone with something like pride as he squeezed your hand, his blonde hair swaying as he shook his head. “Aedion is right to feel the way that he does. I don’t expect him to come around easily. He is as stubborn as your mother,” Gavriel paused, a lump working in his throat as he studied you. “And you are as fiercely kind.”

You opened your mouth to say more, something to comfort him, when an alarm rang in the distance. Gavriel had drawn his dagger before you could blink, his body blocking yours protectively from the rest of the room. Another alarm sounded from the lookout tower, dreading realization crashing over you like the waves you looked to out the window. 

Jumping from your seat, you sprinted up the stairs to Rolfe’s office Aelin stood, her relaxed demeanor a stark contrast to Rolfe’s torrent of emotions. He regretfully reached a tattooed hand towards Aelin, the blonde gladly shaking it. “Thank you for your assistance, Lord Rolfe.”

The mischievous glint in your cousin’s eyes told you all that you needed to know, but Aelin wasted no time barking orders for everyone in the room to get to the ships and prepare for the Valg’s approach. 

Fenrys found you quickly, his arm wrapping protectively around your waist as you hurried towards the docks. Despite everything, the peace that filled you at his simple touch was undeniable. In the few days you had spent together, Fenrys had become an anchor in the storm of this impending war. 

“Are you okay?” he murmured, voice like a soft balm to your nerves as you took his hand from around your waist, weaving your fingers through his own. 

Your gaze flicked to his, the tenderness in his onyx eyes grounding you in the moment. “I’m alright,” you promised, squeezing his hand in reassurance. 

You reached the ship, Fenrys lifting you by the waist to help you over the ledge of the vessel, only for you to trip and stumble into his warm, toned chest. Your hearts pounded, synchronized even in the chaos as you made your way to the bow of the boat where Aelin and Rowan stood.

Salty air whipped around your face in breathtaking levels of wind, seawater splashing as Rowan’s wind propelled the ship unnaturally fast against the waves. Lysandra’s scales shone underneath the water, what would be a dazzling sight if not for the fear that had worked its way deep inside of you at the sight of the Valg fleet approaching. 

The next hour was a blur of fighting, canon fire, sea monsters, and every impossible thing you never believed could happen in this world. Nightmares followed the next several nights. The image of Aelin, burning out of control and falling into the sea, Fenrys’s hand ripping from your own as he dove after her.

~~~

That night, you awoke in a cold sweat, hands clawing at the edges of the mattress as you’d clung to the railing of the ship when you’d watched your mate dive out of sight. You had barely registered your surroundings - the peaceful inside of your cabin - when a familiar warm hand touched your shoulder. 

“Hey, it’s alright. I’m here,” Fenrys murmured in your ear, a silent sob breaking through you at his voice. “Can I hold you?” he asked, hand lightly rubbing your shoulder. 

You nodded, sniffling as you tugged Fenrys’s hand from your shoulder, wrapping it around your waist as you moved as close as possible to his warmth. “You scared me today,” you admitted, barely above a whisper. “I thought... I thought that this wonderful thing, this bond with an incredible male had come just in time for me to lose you. And I can’t. I can’t lose you, Fenrys. I’m sorry if it’s too soon for me to say that, but I don’t know how I’ve lived without you in my life.”

Blonde curls fell across your cheek as Fenrys leaned down, his lips warm as they pressed a lingering touch to your ear. “I understand completely. You have brought a light to my life that I did not think possible, and I would do anything to keep you safe and happy. That is why I dove after Aelin. She will keep you safe - I know that. And you are my priority now. You have given me new purpose.”

In all your years - even before those spent as a spy in Adarlan - you had never experienced such profound intimacy. Never connected, cared for someone as deeply as you did for your mate. It was frightening to consider, but his warm press against your body filled any cracks of doubt and worry, allowing you to sleep soundly in his arms. 

Each night passed the same way, Fenrys and you now sharing the same bed, simply holding each other. Your physical intimacy never went further than a kiss on the cheek, arms wrapped around one another’s waist, but the emotional connection was something you did not believe possible.

~~~

When Melisande’s fleet descended upon you, Fenrys kept you close to his side, the two of you working seamlessly as a team to defend your ships and allies from the Valg. Canon fire roared in your ears as you saw Lorcan’s dark form at the stern of the ship - his eyes set on the coast where he had left Elide. 

“Fenrys!” you called, desperate for your mate’s attention as Lorcan abandoned ship, the desperation with which he fought his way towards shore something you wouldn’t have understood until you met Fenrys. Your mate caught your gaze, his onyx eyes flaring wide as he tracked Lorcan’s movements.

“Elide is in danger. I need you to trust me - I will go help them, but I want you safe here on the ship,” Fenrys pleaded, hands cupping your cheeks as he blocked out the world to focus on you. 

“I can’t leave you again,” you admitted, hand coming up to hold his own. Silver lined your eyes as Fenrys’s forehead leaned against your own. “Please,” you whispered, voice broken as you held him close, as though you could stop him from leaving.

Your father’s hand clasped on Fenrys’s shoulder, drawing the two of you from your moment. “It’s now or never,” he spoke, voice firm yet warm as Gavriel nodded towards the dingy. “We will be able to hold off these forces, but we need to leave now if you want to help Lorcan and Elide.”

Without a second thought, you ran towards the dingy, hopping inside along your mate and father as the three of you rowed to shore. Stumbling through the sand, your legs ached from the strain of running towards the crowd of people further inland. And time stood still as you recognized the pale, black-haired female lashing out dark power at Aelin. 

Maeve’s eyes shone with wicked delight as people stood around, helpless while an exhausted Aelin crumpled before the fae queen. Your father rushed forward, leaving you behind with Fenrys as he pleaded Maeve to spare Aelin.

“Please,” Gavriel whispered, kneeling before Maeve. “Leave Aelin be. Take me instead. Take my life.” 

The scream that ripped from your throat was muffled by a large hand over your mouth, Lorcan’s intense gaze looking down upon you as he slowly shook his head. “Do not alert attention to yourself. She cannot know what you are to Fenrys,” he whispered. 

Every nerve in your body was on fire, panic coursing through your veins as you turned to see the male who swore to stay by your side, slowly inching further away. 

You were vaguely aware of your father, his own tears hitting the ground beneath him as he felt the pain of his blood bond being stripped away. Waves of horror knocked the breath from your lungs as Maeve called Aelin to bow, your cousin and Queen whipped before your eyes while no one took action.

Fenrys stood still, frozen under Maeve’s command as your mate could not afford to spare you a glance, leaving you at the mercy of Lorcan’s strong arm holding you back. “Do not make a scene, unless you want to make it worse for Fenrys,” he warned.

Salty tears streaked down your cheeks, your gaze locking with the tawny eyes of your father as he weakly managed his way over to you. Blinding anger coursed through you, confusion at how you could end up in this situation, surrounded by the most feared warriors, all of you forced into a position of waiting as your Queen was placed in an iron sarcophagus.

Fists clenched so hard your nails drew blood from your palms, disgusted with yourself as you allowed Aelin to be taken away so that your mate would be spared. And then the ground fell out from under you when Maeve ordered Fenrys to follow.

Your mate did not so much as spare you a look over his shoulder, but every muscle in his body seemed to strain as he fought against the order to walk away from you, from your father, your new family. 

You bit down hard, Lorcan hissing as your teeth sunk into his fingers, blood dripping from your lips as he released you. You charged after Fenrys, running with no plan other than willing to risk everything for the person who had become more than everything to you.

But once again, broad arms wrapped around your waist as your father held you in his arms. “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry” Gavriel whispered, tears streaking down his face as you felt his calm, healing power wash over you, the world fading to black as you lost consciousness.

[lavenderdreams22]

Masterlist:

Stranger Things:

Eddie Munson: The Agreement I Love You, Eddie Violence and Love Letters The Southern Belle and The Freak

The Shirt Thief - Eddie & Sister Steve Harrington: Happiest Let Me Help You Think Steve's Cheating

Outer Banks:

Rafe Cameron:

Something to Someone

Something About You

Throne of Glass:

Dorian Havilliard:

Early Morning

Fenrys Moonbeam: Only Yours - Smut/18+

The Nightmare

Impossible

A Life of His Own

Gavriel:

Jealousy

ACOTAR:

Azriel: And if You Loved Me?

A Court of Dawn & Dusk (ongoing) - Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10

[throneofsapphics]

between the heavens and the embers

Fenyrs x f!Reader

Summary: Day 4, “She will die, thinking you never loved her.” With Fenrys

Warnings: terminal illness, discussions of death/death, angst 

kinktober masterlist

Of course Aelin had kept in contact with her, he thought bitterly. Or at least caught wind of what was happening through the city's gossip. After their split, he went through extensive efforts to avoid anywhere she frequented. Nowhere felt safe, and he’d begged Aelin to send him abroad again. 

Y/n, dying, the one he could never quite ‘get over’ as they’d all say. The rest of their court had passed years ago, and he found solace in her shortly after. Still, he left. Maybe it was fear, at the time he thought his own immortality would be a blessing - giving him plenty of time to move on or to find someone new.

“It’s .. it’s nothing about you.” 

“You told me forever,” tears streamed down her face and he hated himself for a moment, hated himself for giving her that kind of hope. 

“I shouldn’t have said that.” He replied tightly, forcing any emotion out of his voice - a neutral mask, perfected over the centuries, slid over his features. 

“Gods” She scoffed, fingers tugging at her hair. He gripped the fabric of his pants, fighting the urge to reach out and pull her hands away, to take them into his own. “Was all of this a lie? All of the times you told me you loved me?” 

He winced at the pure resentment in his voice, a crack appearing in his mask. Still, he was protecting her from the reality of growing old while he would stay young. “I spoke without thinking.” He was digging himself a greater hole, going past the point of return. 

“Leave.” Her voice was cold. “I don’t want to see you again.” He gave her a short nod and turned. He allowed himself to glance back once, but she’d already disappeared inside. 

-

Fenrys debated turning around at least twenty times during the walk to her house, on the outskirts of Orynth. Enough that he shifted and trotted through the trees lining the road - it would do no good to scare the living daylights out of anyone walking by. Things were simpler in his animal form, although the desire to flee was still there, it wasn’t quite as strong. She still lived in the same place as a decade ago. He steeled himself, trying to summon all of his courage as he made it. For Gods sake, he’s charged onto battlefields, fought enemies he was certain he’d lose against, faced the drudgery of foreign courts; this shouldn’t be this difficult. Finally, he arrived at her house. The yard was littered with people he recognized - her family, and he stopped outside the fence. Based on the wicked glares he was receiving, they recognized exactly who he was. 

He didn’t call out or ask, only waited to see what they would do. Even if he wanted to say something, he couldn’t be certain his voice wouldn’t break. A woman disappeared inside and he heard muttered voices, angry rebukes, and then the calm melody of hers - sounding the exact same as she did a decade ago, down to each inflection and pause.

The door swung open and he held his breath. She exited and ushered everyone else back inside, ignoring and shutting down their protests. Curious faces, young and old, peered through the curtains.

She walked with ease for someone dying of a terminal illness, and paused a foot away from him, on the other side of the fence. 

He stood outside of the fence waiting for her, on time for once. He’d promised to take her on a date and held a small bunch of her favorite wildflowers flowers in his hand, ones he’d picked on his way here. She bounded outside with a smile on her face, closing the door behind her. 

“You showed up,” she grinned and almost ran the rest of the way. 

“Did you doubt me?” He teased 

“Is there something you need?” The words were polite, but indifferent and a strained smile was pasted on her face. Mentally he ran through all of the different ways he’d tried to justify his actions fifty years ago. 

“I’m sorry.” 

She raised an eyebrow and rolled her eyes. “And?” 

-

She didn’t believe it until she saw the male standing there, on the other side of her fence, just like he had ten years ago. Y/n tried to tamper down the bitterness and resentment, to ‘let it go,’ as everyone told her she should’ve years ago. Still, he’d left with no idea she was pregnant, and any letters she tried to send him were never answered and likely never opened or delivered. There wasn’t a chance or a way to actually tell him, and she debated whether or not to tell him now. Somehow, he’d never caught wind of it and her kids stayed back far enough he couldn’t catch wind of their scents. 

“I regret … my actions.” 

She blinked once, trying to clear her vision and make sure this was real and not some figment of her imagination. 

“Thank you?” Her voice trailed up at the end, uncertain if that’s actually a proper reply or not. Gods, she’d been in several awkward situations over the years but this might top the rest of them. 

She chewed on her bottom lip, debating whether or not to make her confession. She’d raised two beautiful children, at least for the first decade of their lives. As a single mother … she was reluctant to let go of them. 

-

“There’s … people you should meet.” 

His heart dropped and he felt the urge to sprint - to run far away from here. He knew exactly what she meant. She took one glance at him, and turned. Probably testing to see if he would run again but … Fenrys forced himself to stay still, to keep in place while she made her way back to the house. 

She came out a minute later with two children, males and twins. One hand braced each of their shoulders. They couldn’t be older than ten, and he had no doubts they were his. For fucks sake he was a father. Even without scenting their heritage, their features gave it away. They looked just like him and … he swallowed the thought, even centuries later it was still fresh, the memories still too difficult to bring to the forefront of his mind. 

-

“I never spoke ill of you to them, and never let anyone else. If you were wondering. I never let anyone else, either.” He sat next to her on a bench, watching as the two sprinted around the large backyard, chasing each other with wooden swords. It faced the mountains, expanding into a beautiful view of the Staghorns. He could feel the breeze of the wind, and if he closed his eyes, he could smell the pine and snow. 

“You had every right to.” He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the two children, wincing as one hit the other on the back of the knees. He’d had no idea of what to say to them, how to even interact, but he supposed he’d have people to introduce them to. Gods if he had to ask Rowan for parenting advice, he’d never hear the end of it. 

They sat in silence, and he’d forgotten how nice it is to sit in her presence, how she'd always … steady, for lack of a better word. 

“The healer says they will settle,” y/n’s voice was hoarse now and in his peripheral he spotted her brushing a tear away. “I understand if it’s too much, but would you …” 

“I’ll look after them.” He promised, and without thinking he grasped one of her hands in his own. She didn’t pull away and he squeezed gently before letting go. Her hand fell flat against the wood of the bench, and her fingers flexed, digging in slightly before she returned it to her lap. She didn’t look at him, but a ghost of a smile crossed her face, gone before he could memorize it. The memories of her had grown hazy over the years, but now he wanted to take in every inch of her, commit it all to memory so years from now he could still remember her. Not necessarily out of love, but as a reminder. A reminder of how badly he’d messed up. He owed her that, owed himself that. 

-

“AELIN.” Fenrys roared, pounding on the Queen’s door. He’d returned several hours past sundown, the sky dark and lit only by the moon and several of the city’s inhabitants asleep in their beds. 

“What the fuck?” She cursed, and he heard both her and Rowan moving. He raised his hand to knock again, but the door swung open and a pissed off looking Queen and King consort stood in front of him. Still, if they knew about his kids … that anger would be nothing compared to his. 

“Did you know?” He said through gritted teeth. 

She crossed her arms, propping her wait on one hip. “I did, and I told you.” She said slowly, as if she was talking to a child - taunting him. 

“You never told me.” 

“I told you this morning!” 

He pinched the bridge of his nose. “The other thing.” 

“Just tell us what it is, Fenrys.” Rowan said, his voice low and eyes half-lidded with sleep. That’s a change from the Rowan from centuries ago. If he’d pounded on their door like that, he’d be greeted by a knife to his throat or poised to slip between his ribs. 

“I’m. A. Father.” 

Aelin’s mouth parted, Rowan blinked once, and relief flooded through him that he hadn’t known. 

“Come in,” Rowan stood aside, letting him slip inside the room.

-

Fenrys stood a foot behind his two children, Rowan on his right, Aelin on his left, and brushed a stray tear away as they lowered the casket.  

His mind drifted to what he found the other day. First, he was shocked when her family asked him to help clean things out, but he supposed he was a step or two further away from her, and maybe they assumed it would hurt him less. Regardless, he felt … honored they trusted him with a task like that. 

He fought back tears as he opened the drawers, lifting out the variety of letters crumpled into there and spotted a fresh piece of folded paper, a barely legible scrawl on the top, one word … his name. Apparently her handwriting had never improved over the years. With shaky hands, he unfolded it. 

Fenrys, 

You’re a good male and a good father. 

Take care of our boys. I trust you. 

He blinked back the tears, he’d spent the days since she passed swallowed in a cloud of grief and worry. First hand, he knew how incredible of a mother she was and how the twins loved her. Six months, he’d had six months to watch her and learn but it hadn’t felt like enough and he doubted it ever will. But, y/n having faith in him, even trusting him, made some of the doubts fade.

[ao3feedsheith]

Mini 1 Shots

Mini 1 Shots https://archiveofourown.org/works/47828098 by Ashewolf (Felixes_5Star_Michelin) This AU is a SakuAtsu carrier AU Words: 784, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English Fandoms: Haikyuu!!, Original Work, Voltron: Legendary Defender, 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia (Anime & Manga), Throne of Glass Series - Sarah J. Maas Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: M/M Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi, Keith/Lance (Voltron), Lorcan Salvaterre/Rowan Whitethorn, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead/Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Bakugou Katsuki/Kirishima Eijirou, Keith/Shiro (Voltron), Gavriel/Fenrys Moonbeam, Dorian Havilliard/Chaol Westfall, Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov Additional Tags: Fluff and Smut, Angst and Feels, Fluff, Sad AUs, AU variety, Boys In Love, love tropes via AO3 works tagged 'Keith/Shiro (Voltron)' https://archiveofourown.org June 12, 2023 at 09:40AM

[leiawritesstories]

Who Gave My Wife Liquor?

Rowaelin Month 2023, Day 20: Drunken Antics

y'all know i cannot resist this prompt 🤭🤭 so enjoy some fun drunken shenanigans involving the whole court of Terrasen plus Fenrys, Dorian, and some potentially bad decisions (but no angst i promise). fair warning: it's total crack, i honestly don't think it makes any sense, but it's (maybe) fun

also based off a prompt sent to @rowaelinprompts: "drunk and clingy Aelin" ;))

Word count: 1.5k

Warnings: swearing, alcohol, intoxication, silly goofy times

Enjoy!!!

@rowaelinscourt

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Aelin was absolutely beaming as she descended the stairs and headed into the well-lit great room of the castle's private wing, where a fire was blazing merrily in the hearth and laughter spilled from the wide-open doors. Her heart was full twice over at the sound of her friends' laughter--they had all been through so much in the last ten years, and the fact that they could still laugh was a miracle in and of itself.

"You're late!" Dorian called, catching her arm and leading her into the informal party. "And about three drinks behind, Your Majesty." Grinning, his sapphire eyes just beginning to glaze over, he grabbed the nearest flask and poured her a cup, tapping his drink to hers. "Cheers!"

"And you have shit tolerance, Your Majesty," she teased, downing the short glass of wine in one go. Dorian rolled his eyes, and she laughed. "Lighten up, Dor. Not all of us have your youthful ability to recover." Dorian, as a human, had less tolerance than the Fae and the shifter and Elide, who could drink Lorcan under the table, but he also recovered rapidly from his hangovers.

"Again with the you're an old man jokes?" Lorcan clicked his tongue, smirking. "Wasn't it you who kept telling me to get creative?"

"That would be your wife, actually." Aelin raised her refilled cup to the hulking, dark-haired male, whose face flushed bright scarlet at her innuendo.

"Galathynius," he grunted, tipping the contents of his glass down his throat.

"Don't be so put off, darling," Elide soothed her husband. "Aelin's just grumpy because you made me scream so loud last night we woke the whole castle up."

"And I'll do it again tonight," he winked.

Fenrys spewed wine all over himself. "Fucking gods!" he shrieked, pretending to be mortified. "You lot and your insatiable se--"

"You're just as bad, Fenny," Aelin smirked. "Or should I say, good boy?"

The normally roguish blonde blushed bright crimson and said nothing, choosing to grab the nearest ounce glass of liquor and tip it down his throat. "How?!" he demanded, both mortified and genuinely curious to discover how Aelin had heard that little pet name.

She beamed innocently and threw back a shot of her own. "That's for me to know and you--and your pretty boy--to find out."

"Pretty boy?" Lysandra wheezed, slinging her arm around Aelin's shoulders. "Holy rutting gods, Fen, I knew you weren't particular in bed, but I never would have guessed you'd want to be the one taking orders."

Dorian was conspicuously silent.

Observant as ever, Aelin turned towards the young king, a smile so friendly and approachable that it was truly terrifying slipping across her face. "Dor, darling."

"Oh fuck," he muttered.

"Have you been satisfied with Lord Moonbeam's visits to your kingdom?" The enquiry was perfectly polite, even diplomatic, but the smirk on Aelin's lips added a twist to the innocent words.

Dorian picked up the closest flask and drained it.

Fenrys snickered. "Don't be shy, Majesty. We won't--ah!" His teasing was abruptly cut off with a soft yelp. Dorian flicked the blonde Fae a look heated enough to boil water.

Aelin had a very good idea just what (phantom) hands had silenced Fenrys before he could make an incredibly ribald remark. "I see."

"For a queen so revered, Ae, you have no propriety," Aedion fake-sighed, reaching across his cousin to grab the glass bottle of whiskey that had definitely come from the back of the cellar.

"Says the one who cavorted his merry way through the mountains," she retorted, passing her glass to be filled. "Say, how is Kyllian doing these days?"

"He's fine," Aedion said, too quickly.

Lysandra grinned and curled herself close to Aedion's side, whispering something into his ear that made him choke on his mouthful of whiskey and splutter the aged liquor all over his shirt.

She cackled, tears of merriment spilling out of her bright green eyes. "There's no need to worry, Aed. We're all friends here, no?"

"How sweet," Elide crooned. She pinched her husband's cheek. "See, Lor? We're all friends."

"Lorcan doesn't have friends," Rowan said, completely deadpan. He'd been lounging in a comfortable armchair, admiring his wife and sipping on his glass of liquor like the civilized old male he was.

Lorcan snorted. "Fuck you."

"Let's keep the past in the past, shall we?" Rowan smirked over the rim of his glass.

For the second time that night, Lorcan's tan face flushed violently red, and the room exploded into laughter.

"I knew it!" Aelin cried triumphantly, pointing at Lorcan. "I knew you and my buzzard were lovers!"

"Best he's ever had," Lorcan mumbled, barely audible.

Elide gasped for breath through her peals of laughter, clutching at her chest and clinging to Lorcan's broad shoulder for support. "We need to get you drunk more often, love," she wheezed.

"The hell you do," he grumbled. "That sounds like a terrible idea."

"I have a GREAT idea!" Fenrys announced, rising unsteadily to his feet and brandishing his bottle of wine.

"You absolutely do not," absolutely everyone else chorused.

"First of all, that'sh' fuckin' rude!" He pretended to pout. "An' shecon'ly, it's a great idea!" He took a long drink from the bottle and pointed right at Lorcan. "Lorky, I dare you."

"You dare me to what, Moonie?" Lorcan shot the younger male an insolent smirk.

Fenrys beamed, which was both hilarious and terrifying. "Clothes off, an' pose as a sh-sht-stashue for three minutes."

"Fine." Lorcan drained the rest of his drink, stood up, shucked his clothes except for his undershorts, and strolled out into the hall. The others followed him, laughing and playfully ogling.

Elide wolf-whistled. "Don't be shy, Lor, pose like one of the ancient sculptures." She wiggled her eyebrows. "Most of us have seen you naked, you know."

Lorcan sighed, and Aelin swore she heard him mutter something about so much for keeping secrets under his breath. "I'm not drunk enough for that, Li."

"Pity," Aelin snickered. "You'd make such a well-endowed sculpture."

"Careful, Rowan," Lorcan drawled. "Your wife's objectifying other males again."

"Who gave my wife liquor?" Rowan called, laughing. "She only does that when she's drunk."

"You're mean," Aelin teased, frowning theatrically at her grumpy buzzard.

"Thought you liked me mean," he murmured, the words a wicked promise that set her blood alight. He wrapped his free arm around her waist and laid his hand against the curve of her ass, squeezing just enough to make her inhale.

"No!" Aedion yelped, throwing his hands over his face. "Shit, I'm standing right here!"

Lysandra doubled over with laughter, throwing a wink over at Aelin. "Look what you've done to your poor innocent little cousin," she giggled, unable to get all the words out without losing her grip on her merriment.

Aelin snorted. "Lys, if Aedy is innocent, then I'm a virgin priestess."

Lys wiped tears from her eyes. "All right, you--is Fenrys naked?"

Yes. Yes he was.

Completely undressed, Fenrys sprinted down the hall and back, grinning like a schoolboy when he reached the others again. "I didn't fall over!" he crowed, exuberant.

"Didn't stand up, either," Aelin muttered, half to herself.

Rowan coughed, a deep laugh billowing out of his chest. "Give him some slack, Fireheart," he laughed. "Moonie here is a little too drunk to perform as quickly as he usually does."

Fenrys shrieked in protest. "I perform longly!"

"Tha'sh'not a word, Fen," Dorian drawled, his words slurring together.

"Neither is anything the two of you are about to say to each other," Rowan whispered into Aelin's ear.

She around and pressed her face into his chest to stifle the fit of laughter that made her whole body shake. "You and your godsdamn impeccable timing," she gasped once she'd regained her breath.

Her husband winked. "I try."

Slowly, their dear friends began to disperse, first Fenrys and Dorian, the two leaning on each other for support but still staggering, then Elide and Lorcan, and finally Aedion and Lysandra. Aelin looked around the room at the empty glasses and bottles and flasks left on tables and couches. "Should we--"

"Later." Without blinking, Rowan swept her up into his arms. "Right now, you need to go to bed."

"Is that a promise, buzzard?" She looped her arms effortlessly around his neck, lowered her lashes, and smiled lazily up at him, sending a hazy image of slick skin and dancing flames into his mind.

He inhaled sharply, his nostrils flaring. "Don't tease me, princess." His voice dropped to a thick rumble, the way it always did when she'd pushed just the right buttons. In a blur of Fae speed, he whisked them upstairs to their rooms, kicked the door shut, and laid her gently on the bed.

And she promptly fell asleep.

Chuckling softly, Rowan slipped Aelin's shoes off, changed into his nightclothes, splashed some water on his face, and slipped into bed, curling himself around her. She sighed and went boneless against him, her breaths deep and rhythmic. In moments, he was asleep as well, following his queen into dreams as he did every night.

~~~

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