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allyjoe755 · 7 months ago

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hiii so for colin could you write something where colin and reader are both crushing on each other but for some reason colin isnt allowed to court her so theres just loads of tension and longing looks and encounters where they want to do/say more but all they can do is be subtle about their flirting/feelings. ill leave the ending up to you thank you 🥹💕💕

Okay I think I kind of ran with this and started to do my own thing... but I hope you enjoy! It was loads of fun to write (despite the fact that I lost my first 600 words and had to rewrite it. I now know true terror) (and I might even have ideas for a part 2 if you're interested *cough cough*). Also be warned this was not proof read so if anyone sees any mistakes... no you didn't

This, the Dance

colin bridgerton x reader (no use of y/n)

W/C: 1835

warnings: none

o-o-o

You wished your dance card wasn’t full.

Not that you wished you were not dancing. Quite the opposite, in fact. You supposed you enjoyed dancing, if only to make the otherwise long night of a ball go by faster. No, dancing was not the issue… and, in truth, you did not mind that your dance card was full at all.

What you minded was that it was full, and missing a name you so madly wanted to see on it. You did not care about any name being on your dance card, save one.

You wished that your dance card had Colin Bridgerton’s name written on it.

And yet, it did not. Of course it did not. Why did you fool yourself before every ball with hopeless prayers and dreams, desperate that, just once, it would not be the case?

Your first and last dance with the third Bridgerton son happened at Lady Danbury’s ball at the start of the season. You had enjoyed yourself immensely, with small talk and smooth movements. You believed him to, as well– until your dance had ended and he noticeably avoided you thereafter.

The rejection had stung, but you had determined you would move past it.

That was, until the next day, when Colin Bridgerton had snuck away from his family while promenading to find you and yours, to explain and apologize for his actions.

For some reason, Colin had not listened to his brother wholly that night– a fact that you would forever be grateful for.

In his hurried explanation, Colin Bridgerton revealed that your father had been boasting to twice as many heads of cattle in your family’s farmlands, leading to a slew of deals made under false pretenses… one of which being with the Viscount Bridgerton. And, of course, the viscount was a shrewd man, quickly discovered your father’s dirty scheme, and cut ties immediately.

According to the viscount, that included you– for if your father could not be trusted, how were you to be? And so, after your dance, Lord Bridgerton had pulled his younger brother aside, and advised him to not consort with you henceforth. Because, of course, every young debutante was exactly like her father.

If you stopped to think about it, what you truly wished was that your father were an honest man, not a crooked one– or, if he were to be crooked, that the faulty deals he made would not be with one such Viscount Bridgerton.

It was for those reasons that you stood now at yet another ball without Mr. Bridgerton’s name on your dance card. A joyous occasion, indeed.

With a sigh, you made your way over to the refreshments, grabbing a glass of wine and taking a small sip.

“Good evening, Miss.”

While others may have startled at the voice, you did not. In fact, you recognized it immediately. You hid a peaceful smile as you held your glass in hand.

“Mr. Bridgerton,” you responded. “How are you this evening?”

“As well as I can be,” he all but breathed out– and you didn’t dare to look at him, because doing so this close was such a dangerous game… but you’d caught his eye from across a room enough times to know the look of passion and defeat and longing and rage that he surely held in his eyes.

You only hoped that in those moments where the roles were reversed, and he saw you from across the room, that your eyes conveyed the same.

An achingly familiar pain clawed at the edge of your stomach and twisted with your heart. You couldn’t count the times that you had been forced to meet like this. Refreshments were the one place where either of you could speak even a few words to each other. After all, there were still social graces that the viscount expected his brother to perform and appearances to uphold– and completely ignoring you while you both happened to be retrieving refreshments would be unacceptable.

And so, you had used that to your advantage. You had met near the refreshments just for a chance at a few small words, and you refused to take it for granted. You had learned how to be succinct, how to express and convey as much as one could in the small amount of time allotted. It was here that you learned of Colin’s love for travel, his ability to sing, his enjoyment of journaling… and where you learned that he was kind and chivalrous and lovely.

It was here that he first “I love you” was hurriedly confessed in a hushed voice– one that you quickly, ardently returned.

“I am dancing the next quadrille with Lord Fife,” you mentioned. It was as close to an invitation to dancing as either of you could get. In a quadrille, you would at least pass partners and could enjoy those fleeting moments together.

That was another thing you enjoyed about a full dance card. It gave you the opportunity to inform Colin who you’d be dancing with. If he was dancing too, at least he could be close on the dance floor.

He nodded. “I’m to be dancing with Miss Stride, I believe.”

“Very well.” You curtsied. “I shall see you then.”

It was a strange goodbye, but your meetings and interactions needed to be short, lest you bring unwanted attention your way.

Two more dances. That was it, and then you would be on the dance floor with Colin… and you supposed Lord Fife and Miss Stride, but that did not matter as much as being able to dance with him.

o-o-o

If you did not know this estate so well, you were not sure you would have been this brave.

Or, perhaps, if you were not so worried, you were not sure you would have been this brave.

You were sure the time between your meeting and the dances was a blur, for you were not focused on that time, only the time that you would get to spend during the quadrille. You intended to relish the moment, the small amount of time you had.

And yet, you couldn’t.

You couldn’t, because Colin was not. Colin, the man who you had grown to love… who stood in front of you during the dance as if you were almost strangers.

No, it was worse than that. Even strangers would speak and smile at each other. Colin Bridgerton did not even grace you with that. His eyes would not meet yours, he was stiff in his movements– and after you bowed and curtsied to each other, he all but rushed off, down a corridor as if… as if he were mad. Upset.

You didn’t understand it, and you weren’t sure why, but something in you knew that you could not have it. You were always nothing more than cordial during dances– you did not dare risk raising suspicion– but this… this was different. Different in a way that you did not like, in a way that you could not just let lie.

And so, after a few moments, you travelled down the same corridor, searching for Colin– or, rather, searching for a room you thought he might stow himself away in.

A small library had been the answer. Colin stood inside, leaning against the window sill and looking out, only turning when he heard you open the door.

“Colin,” you said, closing the door behind you. “I’m glad to have found—”

“What are you doing here?”

You took a step back from his interruption, noting an almost unrecognizable harshness to his features.

“I could ask you the very same thing,” you replied after a moment. “I came to find you, to make sure everything was alright. The way you had been at the dance…” You let your words trail off.

Colin sighed. He walked back for a moment before turning around and running a hand through his hair.

“There’s something wrong, isn’t there,” you said, more of a statement than a question.

He said your name, but the tone that his voice held… your stomach soured.

“We cannot do this anymore,” he finally spoke. “I cannot do this anymore.”

You shook your head. “What do you mean?” You asked, and hated the way your voice wobbled.

“No!” He exclaimed quickly. “No, it’s not that.” He took a few steps toward you and grabbed your hands. “It’s… this. This arrangement. I cannot stand only knowing you from a distance. I love you.”

A wave of relief washed over you. “Colin, you know that I love you.” You pursed your lips. “But what do you suggest we do? Your brother would not have it, I doubt I have any dowry to speak of—”

“You think money is what I care about?” He shook his head. “I could not care less if you had a single penny to your name. It is you. You are what I want.”

“But your brother—”

“We could elope.”

“Colin!” Your eyes widened and your hands left his. “You cannot be suggesting we go to Scotland to marry. You cannot be proposing!”

“And why not? You are the person I wish to spend the rest of my life with—”

“I am not going to marry you in Scotland!”

Colin grinned. “But you will marry me?”

You paused, flustered, not believing that this was happening right now.

“Yes,” you answered softly. “Of course I will marry you, Colin— but I don’t wish to marry you under scandal. Your family may be able to handle it, but mine cannot.” You sighed. “We are in enough trouble as it is; I don’t wish to heap more on.”

“Then what would you suggest?” He asked. “You and I both know Anthony.”

In truth, you knew the viscount very little, but you did know him well enough to assume his thoughts on the relationship. Eloping in Scotland would not change his disapproval— but it would not allow him to prevent a marriage altogether like he might try in London.

However…

“Your mother,” you said. “Surely there is no way she would let the viscount stop us.”

Colin paused.

“My mother’s greatest desire is that each of us find a love match.” He smiled at you. “You are right. That is what we have done. She would not allow Anthony to prevent this—”

He grabbed your face and placed a kiss on your forehead. It almost made you dizzy, the wonder of it all.

“Have I told you that I love you? Because I do. I really, really do.”

A pure, bright laugh escaped you. “I love you, too. Now come.” You walked back to the door. “We have a ball that we are meant to be present at. I doubt anyone has noticed us missing… but I don’t want to take any chances.”

“We can tell our families tomorrow,” Colin said. “I will come to call on you, and then we can head to Bridgerton House together.”

Together. You smiled.

“I’d like that very much, Colin.”

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