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#First Letter of John 2
grandsouldream · 2 years
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Readings for 2 JANUARY
2/1/2023
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ghostlyheart · 2 years
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Day Two: Favorite Dynamic
For the cbs ghosts positivity event !! I highlighted a few of my favorite relationships within the household, because I'm bad at following directions
Captioned under the cut!
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Do Not Love the World
Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary, the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour; — 1 John 2:15 | King James Bible: Purple Letter Edition (KJBP) King James Bible: Purple Letter Edition © 2009 by Jim Musser. All rights Reserved. Cross References: Matthew 4:8; Romans 12:2; James 1:27; James 4:4
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ellecdc · 7 months
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Baaaaabe 😫
Ive been sick for the last couple days, and as always, that first day was horrible. Ive had my brain legit decide it wants to inflate bigger than my skull capacity (long story short, pregnancy 🫡) and i got to re-experience that feeling for the first 12 hours 💀
BUT i came back and i was sooo excited for your updates!! They were soo good (please tell me theres a part 2 to that angst....pls 🥺) And i love our discussions in the comments 🫶
I do have another request though if you have the time love. Another possessive!wolfstar buuuttt..... make reader Jamie's sister (twins?)!! Its troublesome enough for James to keep Sirius' hands to himself, but full moon Rem?? He's a brick wall. Like somethings happening between the 2 and Jamie is chasing reader, then she spots Rem and hides behind him. James tries to reach for her and Rem is just kinda like "???? Excuse me, thats mine. Dont touch. James Fleamont Potter. DONT. TOUCH." without even knowing whats going on. James is incredulous (because thats HIS sister) and Siri is chuckling but it looks like Rem might actually bite Jamie's hand off so he moves between them to seperate them but Rem is also like "ExCuSe YOU??? Also mine. *to siri* dont touch him. *to James* dont touch them or you might not have all your fingers when you wake up!!"
And just the repercussions of this where James isnt allowed alone with either until a couple days passed the 🌕
Hope youre looking after yourself darling 🩵
I love James' sister trope - something about it screams fluff and perhaps a little angst but just in all the best ways. I would imagine his sister to be so much like him: mischievous, funny, and full of love. Thanks for requesting!!!
poly!wolfstar x potter sister!reader
There were quite a few perks that came along with being James Potter's twin sister. One said perk was having a built-in best friend from the moment you came into the world. Another was that whilst you were attending school, you had the benefit of no one being willing to mess with you on account of the company you kept - namely, your brother and his infamous friends who called themselves The Marauders.
What being James Potter's twin sister couldn't protect you from? James Potter.
What could protect you from being James Potter's twin sister? Being the girlfriend of Sirius Black and Remus Lupin.
You and James were leaving Care of Magical Creatures together, heading to meet up with Remus and Sirius near the Greenhouses when one Lily Evans walked by - graciously bestowing James the time of day for quite possibly the first time ever - when you decided that this was the perfect pranking opportunity.
You really couldn't be blamed for what happened next: it truly was a gift bestowed upon you by the great pranking gods, and who were you to deny it?
"Hello, Potter." Lily said, causing James to gasp dramatically.
"Hello, Lily! Beautiful day out today, innit?"
Lily couldn't help but snicker at the sickeningly wide grin that took over James' face.
"Oi, Jamie. I forgot to tell you: mum sent that rash cream you were asking for. She said to remind you it's only safe to put around your anus, not in it." You proclaimed loudly, pretending to read from a 'letter' your mother had sent.
The courtyard became incredibly quiet before what you recognized to be Barty Crouch Junior's laugh echoed the space, triggering the snickering of all those present.
"You are so dead!" James sneered and you didn't hesitate to take off in a sprint - knowing your brother was a mere few paces behind you.
"You slithering little snake! She finally starts coming around - are you kidding me!?" He shouted as you swerved between bodies standing in your way whilst he just barrelled right through them.
Suddenly, you saw salvation in the form of one Remus John Lupin.
Now, granted, Remus didn't always protect you from your squabbles with James. Part of the reason for that was because half of the time you sort of deserved it (much like today), and the other part was that he claimed he didn't know what proper protocol was in sibling relationships on account of him being an only child. Sirius, a brother himself, had no such qualms and always took your side.
However, you knew that the full moon was in a mere two more sleeps, meaning Remus was at his most protective (read: possessive) which did not distinguish James Potter as friend, sibling, nor pack.
Right now: James Potter was only a threat.
And, let's be honest, being James Potter's twin sister, and a girlfriend to Remus Lupin and Sirius black also meant you were mischievous as hell. So you had no trouble using this to your utmost advantage.
You squeaked in terror as you slid behind Remus' lanky frame a moment before James - the bastard - slammed into his form and all but bounced off of Remus. James was admittedly more muscular than Remus, but Remus' height and werewolf strength left him towering above James as the dumb sod picked himself up off the ground.
"What in the buggering hell is going on?" He spat at James as one of his arms wrapped behind him, shielding you from your fuming brother.
"That sneaky little witch just embarrassed me in front of Lily!" James barked, looking like he was still trying to figure out how to get around Remus in order to strangle you.
"Please," Sirius drawled as he walked over casually, "like you need any help in that department Prongs."
You tried to hide your snicker, but from Remus' glance at you through the corner of his eye, you knew he caught it.
"She told the entire courtyard I needed cream for a rash on my anus!"
Sirius doubled over in laughter and you preened when you noticed Remus let out a soft chuckle himself.
"It's not sodding funny you wanker! Lily spoke to me first today! I'm going to kill you!" James snarled, moving his attention from Sirius to you.
As James stepped forward menacingly, Remus grabbed the collar of his shirt. "Prongs, enough." He barked.
Sirius was still laughing when he moved to stand between Remus and James, releasing James' shirt from Remus' fist.
"Okay, down boy." Sirius snarked, patting James' shoulder consolingly.
"Oh, sod off." James muttered, elbowing Sirius as he moved to step away.
You let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding and tried to even out your breathing; lungs still burning from your run.
"You okay, dove?" Remus asked you so gently as he bent down to make eye contact with you. His face screamed love, attentiveness, and care, making you feel slightly guilty for having shoved him in the middle of your tomfoolery.
"I'm fine, Moons. Sorry for causing trouble." You answered solemnly.
His face picked up slightly at your words as he pressed a kiss to your forehead. "You wouldn't be you if you weren't causing trouble, love."
Your tender moment was interrupted by a yelp, causing the two of you to turn only to notice James and Sirius wrestling. James seemed to have gotten Sirius into a headlock, and the sod wasn't willing to tap out - still kicking and clawing at James in anyway he could.
"Oi!" Remus shouted as he plucked Sirius out of James' grasp and shoved him in the direction of the castle. James used his momentary distraction as an opportunity to set his sights back on you as he lunged, tackling you to the ground.
"Fuckin' hell Jamie! You weight a tonne!" You shouted, kneeing him in the gut. James doubled over and rolled onto his side in the fetal position.
You didn't even get a chance to right yourself before you were thrown over Remus' shoulder who was still shouting at Sirius to "get back to the dorm. The both of you are staying within my sights for the next foreseeable future" as you all left James with the wind knocked out of him, keeled over on the castle grounds.
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mercymornsimpathizer · 4 months
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per request of (checks notes) two people….the premises of my interpretation of the plot of gideon the ninth vis a vis cytherea and john are as follows:
i. the actions taken by cytherea and john are not consistent with their stated motivations
ii. this is on purpose
iii. we can work backwards from these characters' actions to determine their real motivations
because i am a funny poster and because i love my followers i will explain further under a readmore. abandon all sanity ye who enter here etc.
why canaan house: john and john's motivations
while john does not appear "on screen" in gideon the ninth, his actions set the plot into motion and shape the conflicts the arise. (1)he sends letters to the scions of each house, requesting that they come to canaan house with their cavaliers and no one else. he does not request the leaders of each house, or the best necromancers of each house, or the most experienced. (2)he does not provide information of what the lyctorhood trials will entail, either in the initial letters or upon arrival at canaan house. (3)during the creation of the first lyctors, he did not inform anyone that the death of the cavalier is not necessary, and (4)he interfered in the ascension of anastasia/samael, (5) the pair who spent the longest studying the lyctorhood process and (6)who we can presume were closest to achieving "true lyctorhood," which we can presume is (7)more powerful than "normal lyctorhood" and (8)does not kill the cavalier.
(9)the stated purpose of the events at canaan house is to create new lyctors to replace those that have (really or apparently) died to the resurrection beasts. (10)john further states that he did not intend for any unwanted deaths; (11)that he intended for the necromancers and cavaliers to enter into lyctorhood willingly; and (12)that, if the necromancers and cavaliers decided not to enter into lyctorhood, he intended that they should have been allowed to leave peacefully. (13)we can presume he also intends that any new lyctors created would be loyal to him, or at least not a threat to him.
are these actions consistent for these motivations? in my correct opinion, they are not. the secrecy of what the lyctorhood trials entail and the choice of very young, competitive people as postulants do not lend themselves well to the postulants making wise, well-informed choices. if john wanted the postulants to enter into lyctorhood willingly, and leave peacefully if not, he could have informed them of what the trials and lyctorhood entail, encouraged cooperation between the houses, and stated explicitly that they could leave at any time.
one way to interpret this mismatch is that john was careless or negligent in how he set up the trials, which is possible but not consistent with his characterization otherwise. another interpretation is that john was not sincere in stated motivations 10-12, and that he rather set things up as he did to create uniquely easy to manipulate per 13, which both makes sense and is in character but is not consistent with his other actions.
why canaan house 2: cytherea and cytherea's motivations
while john shapes much of the plot of gideon the ninth, cytherea as the primary antagonist drives the plot more directly. (14)she kills dulcinea and adopts her identity to pose as a postulant in the lyctor trials, and she poorly reanimated protesilaus's corpse. (15)she presumably is responsible for disposing of the transports, stranding the postulants at canaan house.  (16)she kills first the fifth house and the fourth house. (17) she prompts the ninth to complete the avulsion trial. (18)she attacks gideon, harrow, and camilla after being confronted by palamedes, but (19)repeatedly offers to spare gideon. (20)throughout her murder spree, she writes on the walls, questioning or criticizing  john for the events of her own ascension. (21)she did not participate in dios apate and is not mentioned by mercymorn or augustine as being party to their conspiracy to kill john (i think...correct me if this is wrong!). (22) her identity is not revealed by teacher or the other constructs at canaan house, despite the fact that they presumably would recognize her. (23)she does not contact or encourage the other postulants to contact john or anyone else for help.
(24)cytherea states that her motivation is to sabotage the creation of new lyctors and (25)to draw john to the nine houses, putting himself and the nine house in danger from the resurrection beasts. (26)she strongly implies that this is in revenge for her cavalier or possibly all of the original cavaliers. (27)presumably, she also wants both to survive long enough to accomplish these aims, though (28)she does not seem to intend to survive for very long beyond the events at canaan house.
are these actions consistent with these motivations? again, in my correct opinion, they are not. she does not send a distress call to draw john to canaan house, and she does not encourage anyone else to do so. she kills jeannemary and magnus, even though killing isaac and abigail would prevent the fourth and fifth from ascending; while it could be argued that she would have had to kill magnus to protect her plan, but this isn't true of jeannemary's murder. she further lets other necro-cav pairs live, despite the fact this allows for the opportunity for them to ascend. her stated goals (24 and 25) could be well achieved by (a, for 25) killing (simply or gruesomely) all or most of the necromancers, while allowing the cavaliers to live, and/or (b, for 24) calling or encouraging someone else to call for help or otherwise alert someone that things have gone wrong; neither of these actions would contradict her other stated or implied motivations.
(as an aside: i think many people believe that cytherea killed the fifth first because she suspected they were likeliest to figure out her plan, which is possible but doesn't explain why she would kill the fourth next or why she wouldn't kill the sixth or third.)
one interpretation of this mismatch is that she planned sloppily or haphazardly. while this doesn't directly contradict anything we know about her, it doesn't make much sense to me -- i don't think anyone, let alone a very powerful and reasonably intelligent person, would half-ass a revenge/justice plot as their last hurrah, even if she did not have long to plan or if her plan changed upon realizing that gideon is john's daughter. another interpretation i've seen is that cytherea is simply sadistic and/or dramatic, and that her actions are motivated by a desire to make the postulants paranoid and afraid. i think this is on the right track, but doesn't itself explain everything she does (and the things she does not do).
why be perfect when you could be normal: the original lyctors and perfect lyctorhood
what is "perfect lyctorhood" and under what conditions does it occur? when i use the term "perfect lyctorhood," i'm referring to a situation where both the necromancer and the cavalier ascend to lyctorhood and share their newfound power; this is in contrast to what i'm calling "normal lyctorhood," wherein the necromancer kills and consumes the cavalier and uses them as a power source. in text, john and alecto are the only example we see of "true lyctorhood," while the other original lyctors (and ianthe) are "normal."
while the creation of the original lyctors is not thoroughly described in the text, we do know some details. it is strongly implied that (29)mercymorn and augustine, the first two lyctors, ascended under duress after their cavaliers forced their hands, presumably by killing themselves. much later, (30) anastasia and samael attempted to ascend after (5)spending a long time studying the process, but are (4)interrupted by john, who kills samael. (31)john states this he interfered because anastasia and samael had made a mistake. (32)at no point does john inform anyone that perfect lyctorhood is possible or that the cavaliers do not need to die.
i think it's reasonable to conclude that (33)very skilled necromancers, with strong bonds of mutual respect with their cavaliers, given the right resources (i.e. the trials at canaan house, or something equivalent, and sufficient time) could achieve perfect lyctorhood, or at least come close to it. (34)fear, pressure, and devaluation of the lives of cavaliers, on the other hand, push necromancers towards normal lyctorhood.
i think it's also reasonable to conclude that, in line with (13)his motivation to maintain power over the lyctors, john does not want perfect lyctors to be created, and that (4)his interference in the ascension of anastasia and samael was not because (31)they made a mistake but rather (35)to prevent them from achieving power that would rival his own.
connecting the red string
if john and cytherea's actions are not sufficiently explained by their stated motivations (or of them the motivations commonly attributed to them by fans), what motivations would explain their actions? because john (by asking for young people as postulants, and by being secretive about the lyctoral process, and by not stating that postulants could leave) and cytherea (by killing people, and by preventing people from leaving, and by generally encouraging competition and paranoia among the postulants) both created an environment of fear and pressure at canaan house, and because cytherea (by letting both necromancers and cavaliers live in other cases) john (by not providing a deadline, and by not forbidding or obscuring parts of the trials, and by not directly or indirectly supervising the trials) otherwise do nothing to prevent to an outcome that they does not want, i think we can draw the following conclusion: john and cytherea are both attempting to ensure that normal lyctors, and only normal lyctors, are created at canaan house.
in other words, i think john tasked cytherea with going to canaan house to put pressure on the postulants to ascend quickly and to prevent them from leaving alive if they were likely to not ascend. i think he did this because he did not want the postulants to become perfect lyctors, and because he did not want the secrets of lyctorhood to be known to the nine houses in general, and because he did not want to take responsibility for the deaths. i think cytherea likely did want revenge against john, and likely did not want to live beyond canaan house, but did not want to kill john; rather i think she wanted to be killed by john or by one of the new lyctors.
i think that tamsyn muir is a talented writer who has demonstrated an ability to create twisty, multi-layered plots where characters are often working on incorrect or incomplete information and where characters are often not forthcoming or are dishonest about their actions and motivations, and that therefore the mismatch between characters' actions and stated motivations are intentional. i think my conclusion sufficiently explains the actions taken (and not taken) by both cytherea and john in the gideon the ninth, and while it contradicts their stated motivations, i do not think it contradicts any of their actions or any of their demonstrated motivations. moreover i think it is consistent with their characterization in general: cytherea is dramatic and emotionally distraught over her own ascension, but she is not part of the plot against john, and she encourages gideon in her role as cavalier; john is very smart, and has few compunctions about doing horrible things to children (especially to maintain his own power), but does not want to be blamed for the things he does, and so often outsources the dirty work to his followers.
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sophia-sol · 2 years
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Every year at about this time (...very approximately) I post a reclist of 10 short stories I particularly enjoyed reading in the last year, all of which can be read online for free. Here's the latest list, and I hope you enjoy them as much as I did!
1. Sestu Hunts the Last Deer in Heaven - MH Cheung Beautiful and odd. A story of what happens after you've killed the gods, the unexpected realities and the things you have to live with. I love stories about after the climactic things traditional fantasy narratives are about, and this one excels!
2. If You Find Yourself Speaking to God, Address God with the Informal You - John Chu Two butch Asian weightlifter dudes bonding with each other and then dating, and one of them happens to have superpowers, but the superpowers aren't the focus. This is SO charming!!
3. Two Hands, Wrapped in Gold - SB Divya This is a really cool retelling of the classic fairy tale Rumpelstiltskin from the Rumpelstiltskin character's pov, building out the world and his background and making him a sympathetic character with a specific history. Haven't seen a fairy tale retelling quite like this before and it's great! And I say that as a connoisseur of fairy tale retellings.
4. A Farce to Suit the New Girl - Rebecca Fraimow A troupe of Jewish actors in Russia, in a time of political upheaval. This story has such a good and powerful feeling of activity and forward momentum, and of the way a community supports people even if things are weird or complicated! I love every single character and how firmly they are themselves.
5. Sheri, At This Very Moment - Bianca Sayan The sacrifices you make to spend time with the ones you love - a snapshot of one brief visit together, out of two lives that only rarely get to align. Made me teary the first time I read it!
6. Spirochete - Anneke Schwob An engaging second-person pov story about possession and identity. It has such a great sense of timing! And the last line GOT me even on second read when I hypothetically knew what was coming!
7. To Embody a Wildfire Starting - Iona Datt Sharma Ahhhhhh this story is so good at embodying the horrible complexities of the choices people make in the worst of situations, that good and bad and divine and evil and just plain personness can all reside in one being. Also it's about a dragon society and the revolutionary humans who tried to make everyone into dragons, and also about parent-child relationships, and also about a bunch of other things. God it's good.
8. Obsolesce - Nadine Aurora Tabing Is it really me if I don't have at least ONE story about robots in my rec lists? (actually I just went back and checked and in multiple previous years I inexplicably didn't, maybe it wasn't me writing the reclist in those years lol) ANYWAY who wants to have sad feelings about robots again! I know I always do! In a world where anyone who has a physical body instead of having their consciousness transferred is more and more obsolete, no matter if your body is human or robot, what do you hold onto? This one has a real good melancholy tone.
9. Letters from a Travelling Man - WJ Tattersdill ....does what it says on the tin. Letters to a dear friend, from a man travelling for the first time to the unfamiliar part of the world that friend comes from. I love the sense of place you get from the letters, as well as the deep and abiding importance of this friendship in both their lives. Another one I cried over!
10. Texts from the Ghost War - Alex Yuschik Another epistolary one, but this time in text messages instead of letters, and between characters who start the story antagonistically! About mech pilots in a ghost war, and making connections, and finding things to care about, even when stuff sucks. I love them!! (also, I am inescapably me, whoops, it took me until I read some fanfic of this story to realize that almost certainly the story was meant to be canonically shipping the two leads, I never notice romance unless there's anvil-sized indications.) Anyway this is a really good story!
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blossom-hwa · 3 months
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melody of the heart [1] | k.th
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pairing: Taehyun x fem!reader genre:  fluff, a pinch of angst, regency era!au, nobility!au warnings: period typical misogyny word count: 17.8k notes: — this is for all the bridgerton girlies who have been going insane just like me <3 highly inspired by francesca/john's burgeoning romance from the first half, so hope you all enjoy! — some of the dialogue has been lifted from the show—I do not claim any credit for it. — this takes place in the same universe as my duke!yeonjun story, if you'll have me :) feel free to check that out as well! When your father calls you home from the continent to join the London season, for the first time in your life, you nearly throw a fit. You are not just the daughter of a viscount—you’ve made a name for yourself in England and abroad with your prodigious talent at the piano, having since childhood performed for royal courts far and wide. You have traveled far and beyond most other ladies of your rank, and to have your career halted all for the sake of marriage to a man who will likely force you to quit your craft is unthinkable. But all your life you have lived without raising a hand to your father, and so when the letter comes, you return home for the season, hoping and praying to make it through without stirring the waters.  Enter Taehyun Kang, Earl of Addiston—recently titled, in search of a wife, and as tired of the season already as you are. During a chance meeting at the season’s third ball you grow to know each other, and as time passes you grow to like each other, a mutual respect forming when you learn the depths of one another’s passions in the arts. In Taehyun you find a respite from the men who would clip your wings for the sake of finding a perfect wife. In you Taehyun finds a kindred spirit who would respect him for himself, and not the lands in his name. Together you navigate the grueling social activities of the London matchmaking project as acquaintances, then as friends, and maybe, just maybe— As lovers, too.  Part 1 >> Part 2
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As the white double doors begin creaking open, only one thought rings clear in the mess of your mind. 
I cannot be the diamond. 
Cannot. Will not. Your father wishes it, as does your governess and the entire unfamiliar extended family crowding your home for the season, but you can’t. Not least because you can’t handle the attention—just the idea of being presented to the queen makes you want the earth to swallow you whole—but also because the longer you can delay finding a husband, the longer you might still find a shred of freedom lingering on your fingertips. 
It's not fair. Late at night you lie in bed, staring at the dark ceiling as angry tears prick the corners of your eyes. Why is it that men should have the freedom to do as they wish, but women must be pushed into the confines of the household, meant to marry up just to add or promote a title for the family name? All you ever wanted to do was play the piano, and even though your father only saw your life’s passion as a way to make money, at least you could do it. You were good at it, too—you’ve played for the royal houses of Europe, met queens and kings and nobles of so many courts, and while you never quite loved being the spectacle of a child prodigy that your family painted you as, at least you were allowed to play. 
But now your father, who rarely contacted you since your mother died five years ago, suddenly breaks his frosty silence to demand that you come home, because the royal checks you’ve been receiving have now begun to dwindle and the only purpose you can now fulfill for your family is to become some rich gentleman’s meek wife. And to make matters worse, you won’t see a penny of the money you made yourself. It’s going to your dowry.
It won’t even be yours. 
What is most upsetting is that he’s not even entirely wrong. Not about the dowry—you’re still smarting over your hard-earned money being turned over to some nameless, faceless gentleman of the ton—but about your musical escapades on the continent. People were eager to watch a child prodigy perform. They cooed and smiled over you like the zoo attraction you were. But as you grew older, you also noticed the invitations dwindling, the interested courts growing smaller, the payments decreasing. All because you were a woman nearing marriageable age, and to be such a prodigy was no longer suitable for your gender. 
For all your usual mild-mannered shyness, this knowledge makes you want to break dishes against the wall. 
But since you’ve returned to England, you’ve kept your mouth shut as you are wont to do. You’re not the type to scream and rage when things don’t go your way. Silence comes more naturally to your lips than shouting and you find yourself nodding quietly to your father’s demands more often than not. Still, though, you can have this. You can have the fact that you will not be the diamond. 
You were worried about it at first. Your name is not unknown by the people of the ton and judging by what little you’ve heard of Lady Whistledown’s papers, your return has stirred some gossip around town. Enough gossip that people speculated the queen might crown you her diamond on the sole basis of your celebrity—and as self-centered as it is, you were anxious about that. But it turned out you actually didn’t have to worry, because as it turned out, you are terrible at being a debutante.
Everything about it hurts. The feathers on your head, the slim, constricting dress, the jewelry choking your neck and wrists and the pale, slippery gloves that slide against your fingers—you certainly don’t wear gloves when you play the piano. The headdress only accentuates your terrible balance and when your governess had you practice your walk for the first time, you’d tripped every other time you went down the hallway.
Which was not ideal, not for you or for your family. Because even though you don’t want to be the queen’s diamond, you also don’t want to be the one girl to trip on her face in front of dozens of people and the queen herself. Only instead of motivating you to be better, the thought of tripping kept making you more and more anxious to the point that you felt like you’d throw up each time you saw your debutante gown.
“Why don’t you treat it like a performance?” your governess had finally suggested, wringing her hands at your latest miserable attempt to walk down the hallway with those godawful feathers on your head. “As though you were to play for the queen.”
The thing is, you have performed for the queen. Not recently, given that you’ve been on the continent for a good many years and only returned a few months ago, but you did perform for her when you were much younger. But that’s—different. Somehow. Your governess and certainly your father might see both situations as the same, but for some reason the idea of parading down an aisle amid dozens of prying eyes, all the while wearing a tuft of white feathers on your head, is terrifying to you in a way that playing the piano for hundreds or more isn’t. 
It doesn’t make sense. Which is why you didn’t bother trying to explain to your governess why exactly her well-meaning advice wouldn’t work, just gave her half a smile and an empty nod as you prepared to try once more. And it had gotten better the more you practiced. Over time you got used to the swaying of the feathers above you, the tiny steps you must take to avoid the headpiece falling to the floor, and all the other millions of tiny things you never thought you’d have to pay attention to. Now, though, as the doors swing fully open, revealing the queen and her entourage at the end of the aisle, framed by every single eye in the room trained on you—
You freeze.
Time stretches and dilates all at once. Opulent ornaments blend with the walls, gold almost seeming to drip onto the white in a way that, to your spiraling mind, looks like blood. The sea of faces before you blurs into a mass and your heart is pounding, your breath coming out in shallow gasps that can’t be doing anything flattering for you in this stupidly tight gown. 
“Y/N.”
Your aunt hisses your name with her unfamiliar voice and suddenly the room comes back into focus. Too much focus. Now everything is too bright and too defined and the gold of the decorations seems to be blinding your eyes. You accidentally lock eyes with the queen at the end of the aisle and all you can feel is the need to throw up. 
But you can’t. 
Slowly, slowly, you take the first step. Then the next. Feathers sway and your head is starting to spin uncomfortably, but you keep your eyes trained on the end of the aisle, something akin to a smile (or at least a grimace) pasted upon your lips. 
You halt after what you think is the right number of steps, just a short distance in front of the queen. The same muscle memory that lets your fingers fly over piano keys helps you into your low curtsy, head dipping just enough to be respectful, not so much that the awful headdress tips over. Wait a moment, your governess’s voice echoes through your muddled mind. Count five seconds, then rise. 
Slowly, you stand, meeting the queen’s appraising eyes once more. Her expression doesn’t change. Relief prickles your chest—maybe she doesn’t recognize you, which means she won’t crown you the diamond for the sole purpose of your fame, or maybe she’s just disappointed and unimpressed—and that relief continues to spread as you stumble out of the room, dimly aware of your aunt following just behind you. 
“Well, you weren’t the diamond,” your aunt sighs. “But at least you didn’t fall. “
Yes, you think fervently as you accept a glass of water from a footman. And thank the heavens on both accounts. 
. . . . .
It’s only the second ball, and Taehyun is already not enjoying the season. 
Ugh. He slips into a darkened corridor and finally allows himself to take a deep breath, the sounds of the party muffled behind the walls. “How did you do this so easily?” he mutters to the phantom of his brother in his mind. 
Taemin’s casual grin smiles back at him from behind his mind’s eye and despite himself, Taehyun almost laughs. He knows the answer already. Taemin enjoys this—the socializing, the talking, all of it. His brother’s easy grace and pleasant manners are easily employed in the ballroom, where he can spread charm at will and revel in the attention he receives in reciprocation. It’s not that Taehyun can’t find his way around a conversation or take an easy turn around the dance floor. He can. It’s just that he doesn’t enjoy it the way Taemin does.
But even then, Taehyun still doesn’t understand how Taemin navigated the marriage mart so seamlessly. Surely he must have at some point grown fed up with the shiny veneer of the debutante season, the incessant pestering of the mamas when they found out the heir to one of London’s earldoms was newly seeking a wife. None of that seemed to bother Taemin that much, though. Two months he went through it with only the barest complaints, and by the third month he was happily married to a woman of a similar temperament. While they might not have been a love match at first, they were certainly an amicable and good one. 
Meanwhile, it’s been barely two weeks since the season started and Taehyun already wants it to be over.
He’s pushed it off enough, though. For three years he’s been allowed the excuse of first finishing his studies, then having to put the estate’s affairs in order—the news of the inheritance was rather abrupt, after all, and completely unexpected. He’s only related to the Addiston line distantly through his mother, not even his father—which is why he was able to inherit even as a second son—and they’d had no idea of the connection until the solicitor had shown up to their door with the news. But it’s been three years. With the weight of an estate on his unexperienced shoulders, the next logical step, to society, would be to find a capable wife to share the burden. His parents agree. So does his brother. 
And so does Taehyun. He just wishes the process of doing so wasn’t so…performative. So obviously meant for matches of rank instead of people. Taehyun knows that if he hadn’t gotten that chance inheritance, hardly anyone would look twice at him. He might be the son of an earl, but he’s only a second son, and the son of a second wife at that. While he’s certainly not at the bottom of the barrel of potential husbands, without his inheritance, he’d be garnering far fewer glances than he does now. 
Far fewer. 
In another better world, maybe it would be easier to find someone with whom he has a genuine connection without having to wade through all the social climbers in this one. Because that’s what he wants. A connection. Not someone who will simply look at his title and inheritance and pursue those instead of him.
But in this world, that might just be an elusive dream.
Taehyun sighs. It’s worse now that he lives alone and has grown used to his solitude. Sure, he has friends who come to barge in on him at different times of day—Kai and Beomgyu maintain little sense of decorum around him, in contrast to the Duke and Duchess of Hastings who, though good friends of his by now, do not come outside of calling hour without prior notice. They keep away the lonely spells in an estate that still doesn’t quite feel like his. But the silence isn’t unwelcome for a quieter person like he, and it remains a sharp contrast to the gaiety of the ton during the season. 
Which brings him back to here. Now. In some empty corridor of his host’s home, away from the staged smiles and bright lights of the ballroom. Somewhere he certainly shouldn’t be, but as long as he doesn’t get caught, Taehyun has little intention of returning to the fray until he can get his thoughts back in order. The muffled chatter of the party is still too loud here so he continues down the hallway, following the echoes of silence and…
Music?
He halts. Sure enough, now that he’s far enough from the noise of the ballroom, he can hear a soft, sweet melody coming from somewhere ahead of him. It’s haunting, lovely, and as he leans toward the sound he begins to recognize the notes of one of Beethoven’s sonatas. Part of the Tempest sonata, actually. One of the most difficult, and one of Taehyun’s personal favorites. 
Taehyun’s feet begin to move, the spell of the sonata carrying him to the end of the hallway. One of the doors has been opened just a crack and it’s easy to tell that’s where the secret pianist must be playing from, the melodies spinning into the air beyond the sliver of an open door.
Common sense tells him he should walk away. The musician seems to be alone—perhaps tired of the party, just like he—but nonetheless, that can’t spell good fortune for him, especially if they are a woman. Being caught alone with an unmarried debutante would only spell trouble for both of them, more her than he, and for her sake, at least, he can’t ruin her prospects just because he couldn’t turn away from her music. 
But something deeper keeps him rooted in place, breaths quiet and shallow, eyes half shut as he leans toward the door as much as he can without tripping over his feet. He enjoys fairy tales, though he is wont to admit it, loves stories of fantasy and magic, and he can’t help but compare these melodies to the spells he used to read about. For surely the pianist must be weaving a spell into the air, into every accent and crescendo, every passage of the sonata effortlessly magical to his ears. 
Taehyun loves music. He loves it almost as much as he loves literature. He took lessons and can play the piano as well as, if not better than many of his peers, but even he is nothing compared to the musician in that room. Nothing compared to the spell of their fingers dancing across the piano keys. 
Too soon, the music ends. And with its conclusion comes the realization that Taehyun needs to return to the party soon, or his absence will be noted—he’s already spent too much time away, if the two movements of the sonata he’s listened to are anything to go by. 
Taehyun forces himself to step away from the open door, from the lovely melodies and mysterious musician within. He doesn’t turn back even when a new piece begins, though soft notes follow him down the hall, all the way back to the party.
. . . . .
“Lady Taylor. Miss L/N.” The smile in front of you is sparkling in a way that leaves you dizzy. Or maybe that’s just the bright lights overhead. Either way, it is doing nothing to soothe the ache beginning to pulse between your temples. “I do not believe we’ve had the pleasure of being introduced.”
No, you haven’t. You don’t recognize this face or its too-bright smile. “I don’t believe we have,” you return, curving your lips as much as you can. “To what do I owe the pleasure…?”
“Mr. Haynesworth,” he says, angular eyes narrowing into what could be a pleasant expression if you weren’t so tired. “I noticed you were quite a fine dancer, and wanted to ask if you had a spot on your dance card that I could perhaps take.”
Without really meaning to, you glance at your aunt. She looks back, mostly impassive, but gives you a small nod. Yes, allow him. 
Your tongue tastes bitter even as you smile at Mr. Haynesworth. “Yes, I do. In fact, my next dance is free, should you like to dance the quadrille.” 
“An excellent choice,” he replies, and you have to try hard not to roll your eyes as he begins to sign his name on the card. What wouldn’t you give to be at home, in bed, purposely thinking about everything and anything but the season and your daughterly duty to find a husband? Lady Arina Park isn’t here to subtly nudge you in the direction of a music room and as far as you know, none of the Tillings play an instrument, so you can’t even snatch a quarter of an hour alone with your thoughts and music like you did at the last ball. Besides, your aunt would certainly scold you if she noticed you were gone, just like last time. 
It's not like it matters, though, because the orchestra music is fading, which means the next dance is about to begin, and you won’t be getting a chance to take a break. Mr. Haynesworth looks up from your card with a little smile and offers a hand. “Just in time,” he says genially. You do your best to feign enthusiasm as you take it. 
I hate this, you can’t help thinking, watching other couples take to the floor. You like to dance—honestly, you enjoy almost anything that has to do with music—but right here, right now, with all the eyes trying to discern who will win Her Majesty’s seasonal title of diamond of the first water (because of all the girls presented this season she still hasn’t picked one, and you harbor a nasty hope that she never will), it’s too much. The bright lights of the ballroom. The slippery silk of your gloves against your hands. Mr. Haynesworth’s pleasant smile as he asks you questions against the background of the orchestra’s new tune, each of them polite, noncommittal, and as meaningless as the last. 
“How are you finding the party tonight?”
I think the candles are trying to burn right through my eyes into my brain. “Quite lovely indeed.”
“How are you finding London in general? It must be a change from abroad, no?”
Boring. Stifling. Rainy. “It is very different, Mr. Haynesworth, though not unpleasant. I imagine that with time, I will grow used to it too.”
“So you do intend to find a husband this season, if you say you will be here for some time?”
If my father didn’t want me husband hunting, I wouldn’t be here. “Yes, that would be my intention.”
“I hope you will come to enjoy London then, Miss L/N. It is an old city, and it certainly has its charms.”
Of course. “Of course.”
He spins you under his arm and you come to face to face, his nice smile suddenly very close to your eyes. You almost stumble—muscle memory had been leading this dance as you tried to answer his questions through your growing headache, and in the midst of that you’d forgotten this part. “I read Whistledown,” he says, completely oblivious to the brief spike in your heart rate. 
Inwardly, you sigh. Ah, so you’re either going to ask me about piano, or ask me about the fact that the queen still has not chosen her diamond of the season.
“She says you are quite the pianist, Miss L/N.”
…You would have preferred questions about piano over the nonexistent diamond, it’s true, but what exactly are you supposed to say to that? “I have been playing since I was young.”
“A true prodigy, then. I wonder why the queen has not yet chosen a diamond, though there is clearly one right here.” Despite the compliment, his thin eyes suddenly seem too narrow, the planes of his face too sharp as he leans in ever so slightly. “I hear you spent quite some time with other royal courts during your…little tour. How were your travels?”
You nearly pause. Your head still hurts and between the dancing and conversation, your mind is being split onto two different tracks, so it takes you a moment to realize why Mr. Haynesworth’s words offended you.
Little tour.
You do not like how he said the words little tour.
It sounds like how your father talks about your performances abroad. It sounds like when your aunt tells you to stop practicing, it’s time for your French lesson. It sounds like when your cousin sticks her head into the music room and asks you to play more softly since it’s distracting from the conversation downstairs. 
Dismissal. Accidental or intentional, it doesn’t matter. It’s dismissal of you, your talent, your work, your passion.
Maybe you would have preferred questions about the nonexistent diamond instead.
“I enjoyed traveling and meeting new people during my tour, though it would have meant little without the music,” you reply, unable to rein in some of the bite to your words. “Music is my passion, Mr. Haynesworth, and the piano my medium. I’m afraid without either, my life would retain little meaning.” And for the first time that evening, it seems that the higher powers are on your side, because the tune of the quadrille is fading, which means the dance is ending. Keeping your current smile plastered firmly to your face, you sweep into a brief curtsy. “I must see to my aunt, Mr. Haynesworth, and so I take my leave. It was good to meet you.”
Lies, all lies, but it gets you off the dance floor without another word from him. Weaving blindly through the crowd, you follow the paths of fewest people until the chatter of the ballroom is just a faint buzz in your ears and blissful silence fills the air instead. 
A rush of air leaves your lips all at once and you put a hand to your chest, where your heart is beating just a little too uncomfortably fast. You’re outside the house, in the gardens, but in almost full view of the front of the home where carriages are lined up, their footmen at the ready. It would be lovely to just be alone, but in public that cannot be for fear of compromise, so you take solace in what little solitude you have now under the moon and stars.
You close your eyes for a long moment. You hadn’t realized earlier how hot the ballroom felt, but you certainly know it now as cool night air breezes across your face turned up to the sky. The stars twinkle overhead, comforting pinpricks of light so unlike the burning intensity of the candles and chandeliers within, and all at once you’re hit with the overwhelming thought that you absolutely do not want to go back inside. 
“I’m not going to survive this season,” you mutter, then quickly glance around—no one should have heard that, it sounds so whiney and childish. But in the moment it feels so true. And for two terrible seconds, you feel an overwhelming lump in your throat, a tightening in your chest—
No. You will not cry. Not here, not now. You bite back the tears, suddenly feeling so alone even in the solitude you sought. No one is on your side. Not your father, your own flesh and blood. Not the aunt who accompanied you here. Not even your governess, who is sweet and kind but ultimately bows to the whims of your father. Only your mother ever understood your calling to music and she’s dead, five years buried underground, and for all you have healed since that dark time, you still miss her. 
You miss her so, so much. 
One deep, shaky breath. Then another. Slowly, your heart rate calms into something that feels more normal, and you tilt your head back up to the sky, letting the midnight blue wash across your vision like a soft blanket. It comforts you enough that you almost don’t hear the footsteps against the stone path until they’re just a few feet away from you.
“Good evening,” a quiet, unfamiliar voice says. 
Conversation. Exactly what you wanted to avoid in the ballroom. Somehow, though, it doesn’t seem so daunting out here. Maybe it’s the silence. Maybe it’s the sky. Maybe it’s the gentle quality of this man’s quiet voice that makes it seem like he seeks the same solace from the night that you do, and nothing more.
“Good evening,” you reply, not quite looking at him as you dip a small curtsy. “Forgive me. I was only—”
“In need of some quiet?” He turns around and between the dark hair and half smile and large eyes, your breath lodges in your throat. But any nervousness at this man’s handsome face fades away when you see the softness hidden in his expression, the gentle uncertainty caught between his broad shoulders. “I have been in search of it all night.”
For all your previous mood, this man’s small smile makes you want to smile too. And so you let your lips curve slightly, more than you thought you could without forcing it, and as you do they begin to curve more. “It seems we are of the same spirit,” you say, and the night seems to laugh quietly with you both. “Miss Y/N L/N, good sir.”
“Taehyun Kang, Earl of Addiston.” He bows slightly. “I am pleased to make your acquaintance.”
. . . . .
A comfortable silence has fallen, and Taehyun has little desire to disturb it, but your name keeps rolling around his head, a little too familiar for someone he’s only met today. There’s something about your face, too. He’s certain the two of you have never been introduced—he’s fairly sure he would have remembered your smile, which seems to complement the night sky perfectly—but at the same time…
Someone opens the door to the mansion and a few orchestral notes follow them outside. Orchestra. Music. 
Oh. 
“Might I ask…” he begins slowly. He almost wishes he could take back his words when you turn to him, but he’s already started, so he continues. “You are Miss Y/N L/N, the celebrated pianist?”
You lips part, like you didn’t expect the question. Embarrassment starts to crawl up his cheeks—it would be mortifying if you said no, even more so if you had no idea who he was talking about—but then you nod, surprise still coating your features. “Yes, my lord. I am.”
Oh. Oh. This is—maybe worse than if you’d said no. Because this means Taehyun is in the presence of someone famous, someone with celebrity, someone he admires and respects even though they’ve never met face to face before—
Calm down. “I saw one of your performances a few years ago,” he says, forcing his voice to remain level. You open your mouth to say something but Taehyun barrels on because if he doesn’t say it now he’ll never say it again. “I was in Germany to visit a friend. We went together. I, um—” and this is when he stutters, because of course it is—“I found your performance most impressive. Particularly Beethoven’s Appassionata. Your interpretation…it was perfect to me. There was a delicacy to it that made it uniquely beautiful.” He coughs and prays the night hides the warmth that has crept into his cheeks. “I suppose I just wanted to say that you are a very talented musician, and you must have worked very hard to come so far.” 
You look away, and in that moment Taehyun does fear that he said too much. He might have presumed a level of familiarity you weren’t comfortable with, or maybe you don’t appreciate being complimented in public, or maybe he just said the wrong thing—but then you look back at him, and even with only the moon and stars to light your face, it’s plain to see the smile curving across your lips, pleased and proud and limited only by the shyness and humility of your nature, evident as you give him a small curtsy again. “Thank you very much, my lord,” you say, and if your smile was complemented by the night before, now it sparkles at brightly as any of the stars. “It means…so much to me that you would say such a thing. Truly.”
Taehyun smiles. A little more shyly than he’d like, but no matter. “It is not a difficult thing to say these things,” he replies. “Your performance then was impeccable, as I’m sure it is now.” And now that the connection has been made, a memory from the second ball of the season suddenly returns, of a dark corridor and a beautiful sonata. Were you—? “If I may ask, were you the one playing the piano at the Kims’ ball just a week ago?” 
You blink. “You…heard that?”
All of a sudden Taehyun realizes the implications of his words—that he was at the ball, that he decided to leave to wander the dark corridors, that he heard you playing and not only didn’t hasten away at once but stayed to listen for long enough to make this connection. None of them paint him in the best light, and one of them is far worse than the others, if taken the wrong way. “I’m so sorry,” he apologizes, and if his face wasn’t warm before, it certainly is now. “I happened upon it by accident. I was only trying to find some quiet away from the ball—” 
“Much as you were just now,” you interrupt, and Taehyun almost flushes even more before he sees the small, amused smile on your lips. 
“Yes,” he agrees sheepishly. “I heard music coming from one of the rooms and it was…beautiful. The Tempest is one of my favorite of Beethoven’s works. You played it wonderfully, and I couldn’t help but stay and listen for some time.” He bows his head. “I hope I have not been too forward or made you uncomfortable. If I have, I do apologize.”
“Do not apologize,” you say, a bashful hint returning to your own voice that Taehyun finds very endearing, especially when you duck your head slightly. “Please, my lord. I am only…deeply honored that you hold me in such high regard.”
Taehyun relaxes, his own smile growing wider. “Earning that regard was not difficult,” he says. “Even my friend, who has much less knowledge of music than I do, was fairly blown away, and almost inspired to take piano lessons because of you.”
You laugh. “You must jest, my lord.” 
“I do not,” he replies, laughing as well. “He is not here tonight, but perhaps someday you two will meet, and his praise will be even more effusive than mine.” 
“In that case, I eagerly await that day.” You look at him, a question in your eyes. “Might I ask, my lord—you mentioned that you have some knowledge of music? Are you a musician yourself?”
“Oh, I…dabble.” Taehyun laughs a little. “With the piano. I quite enjoy it, but I am nowhere near as good as you.”
“But you have a musician’s ear and heart,” you say, conviction in your tone, and Taehyun finds himself rooted under the strength of your gaze, under the stars, under the night sky. “You appreciate the art and the work that goes into it, which is more than I can say for most.”
Taehyun opens his mouth. Closes it. Opens it again. “I suppose you are right.”
You duck your head a bit, shoulders suddenly hunching. “I apologize, if I was too forward—”
“Not at all!” he says quickly. “No, not at all. Forgive me, it has simply been a long night and my conversing skills are somewhat frayed at the moment. I appreciate your words, Miss L/N. Very much.”
For a moment, you seem to search his face, like you’re looking for something. Whatever it is, you seem to find it, and when you do, your shoulders thankfully relax. “I was only speaking what I felt to be the truth, my lord. And, for what it is worth…” You pause, your expression somewhat strange before it settles into a genuine smile. “This conversation is one of only a few that I have truly enjoyed tonight.”
He laughs, your quip unexpected but welcome. “It must have been a long night for you too, then?”
“You have no idea.” This time, you two laugh together. “Actually, I’m sure you do. There are only so many times you can be asked the same questions and give the same answers, or hear the same topics and remain sane.” You shake your head. “If the queen plans to choose a diamond this season, I wish she would just hurry up and do so. It seems to be all anyone can talk about nowadays.”
Taehyun raises an eyebrow. “She has not yet chosen one?”
“Apparently not.” You shrug. “My cousins say Lady Whistledown writes about it in every issue. I suppose it is a source of gossip, but…to be quite frank, I do not understand why the queen’s opinion on one woman reigns so supreme in the marriage mart. Should not the couple choose each other based on their own perceived merits, and not solely because the queen approves of one but not the other?” A short pause, and then your shoulders slump. “Though perhaps I only do not understand because I have been away for so long.”
“Well, I quite agree with you,” Taehyun says frankly. “I do agree that the queen’s approval would be a feather in anyone’s cap, but anyone who only sees the title of diamond and nothing else, I believe, would not make a happy marriage, even if the diamond agreed to the match. I don’t believe a title alone is any sort of solid foundation upon which to make a partnership.” 
You look up, meeting his eyes, and a moment of understanding seems to pass between the two of you. A smile that looks much like relief curves your lips. “I agree, my lord,” you say softly. “It is a relief to know that I am not the only one of these opinions.”
Taehyun came outside for fresh air, for a respite from the chaotic buzz of the party inside. He came outside for solitude. But though he found conversation instead, he finds himself feeling better than he perhaps would have, had he immediately gained the silence he sought. Your quiet, frank honesty is as refreshing to Taehyun as the night air itself and he realizes he would love to continue your conversation, if not for—
“Y/N!”
Both of you start at the sudden shout of your name from the mansion doors. An older woman comes striding out, a stranger to Taehyun but evidently more familiar to you. Not altogether welcome, though, it seems—your shoulders tense and immediately your gaze shutters somewhat as the woman draws closer. “Lady Taylor,” you say quietly, turning back to Taehyun with a smile significantly more strained than before. “My aunt, and my chaperone tonight.”
He nods once. “I see.”
“Y/N, I’ve been looking for you for half the night,” Lady Taylor scolds as soon as she is near enough, which does little to endear her to Taehyun after she interrupted his time with you. “Why do you insist on disappearing so?”
“My apologies, Aunt Taylor,” you say. Taehyun doesn’t miss the brief clench of your fingers at your sides. “I went to find some fresh air, and then found myself caught up in conversation with Lord Kang.” You gesture to him. “Lord Kang, please meet my aunt, Lady Taylor, Viscountess of Wentworth.”
Taehyun bows politely as your aunt curtsies. “A pleasure, my lady. I am Lord Kang, Earl of Addiston.”
Her eyes widen ever so slightly at the mention of his title, and he bites back a sigh. So she knows of his estate and inheritance, too. “Charmed, my lord,” is all she says, though, before turning back to you. “Please forgive my interruption. Y/N, you must come back inside. The ball is not yet over, and several gentlemen are still waiting to dance with you.”
You glance down at your dance card, then back up at him, your face twisted in apology. “I must do as my aunt says,” you say quietly. “Though it was a pleasure to make your acquaintance, my lord.”
“And the same to you.” He smiles as easily as he can, and maybe he’s just hoping, but your smile seems to become a little less forced too. “It is getting late and I’m sure your dance card must be full, so I will not keep you further. However…” He inclines his head slightly, respectfully. “Perhaps if we meet again, I hope you will indulge me if I ask you to save a dance for me, so that we might continue our conversation where it left off?”
This time, he’s sure he’s not imagining the softening of your face and the return of some sparkle to your eyes. “I would be honored to, my lord,” you say, curtsying. “Have a good night.”
He bows. “I wish the same to you.”
. . . . .
The last few days since the Tillings’ ball have been dreary and wet, full of gray clouds and rain. Today, though, when you wake, the clouds have cleared to reveal the bright sun set against a shimmering blue sky. When your cousins come bursting into the music room to take you on a walk, you don’t even argue—the afternoon looks beautiful, and even you are itching to go outside. 
“You spend so much time cooped up in that little room,” your oldest cousin scolds when you meet everyone in the entryway, though there’s a smile on her face so you try not to take her words the wrong way. “You need some fresh air.”
You smile back as best as you can. “I appreciate the concern, Lilly, but worry not. I’m as eager to see the sun as you are.”
It is pleasant, feeling the sun on your skin after days of grey skies and intermittent rainfall pattering on your windows as you tried to practice. Truth be told, by yesterday you were feeling restless, too, so you can’t even blame the children of your family for wanting to run around as they do now, leaping happily under the blue sky. 
You stick to the back of the group, quietly watching Lilly and your other cousins try to corral their children under the watchful eye of Aunt Taylor. Jieun looks particularly frazzled as she tries to chase down her youngest and you take pity on her, scooping up the child the next time she runs past and giving her little forehead a small tap that makes her giggle. “Be careful,” you warn gently, handing her to a grateful Jieun. “Don’t get hurt, or your mother will worry, yes?”
It's not just your family. It seems as though the entirety of London has come out to enjoy the wonderful weather. The park is green and bright and almost seems to shimmer under the sun, and laughter and chatter fill the air with faint birdsong. You may enjoy spending your time cooped up in that little room, as your cousin says, but you are glad you came out today for the sun on your skin and the joy in the air.
“You are good with the children,” Lilly says beside your ear. You start—you hadn’t realized she was so close until she spoke. “Won’t it be wonderful when you have children of your own, and they can all play together?”
Please, Lilly. “Maybe.” 
“Sound more excited, will you?” she laughs. “You can’t mean to not have children. Or are you already married to your music?”
Your smile is wavering, but you heave it back up with the teeth-gritting reminder that she doesn’t mean it badly, she doesn’t mean it badly, she doesn’t mean it badly. “I’m not married to my music, insofar as I cannot marry an intangible thing,” you respond as dryly as you can. “I’m not sure even the priests at Gretna Green would agree to perform such a ceremony.”
“You know what I mean,” Lilly says, scooping up one of her children. Both of them seem to eye you in a way that makes you feel defensive. “When will you emerge from your music room, Y/N, to see the rest of the world around you?”
That’s not fair, you want to say. I have emerged from my music room. I just find that I don’t necessarily enjoy what—or who—awaits me outside.
Like the incessant demand that you marry and produce children for an unnamed man who will control you for the rest of your life. 
“I see the world as much as I like to,” is all you say instead, but Lilly has already been distracted by her toddler trying to wiggle out of her arms. You leave her to it, and drift behind everyone once more. 
It’s not that you don’t want to have children. It’s not even that you don’t want to get married. It’s just that you resent the fact that it is your only option. You don’t even think you’d mind marriage and children if you could still live with your music, but the way everyone else talks about it, it’s always one or the other. Give up marriage for the piano. Give up the piano for marriage.
Not that the first option is even a choice. 
You take a deep breath. Breathe in the fresh air, the scent of flowers and grass. The sky doesn’t seem as blue as before, nor does the sunshine feel as welcoming, but it’s still there, and it’s still pleasant enough. Lilly means well, and she doesn’t mean to be dismissive. You’re still unmarried and still not the diamond. The world isn’t ending.
Jieun’s youngest finds her way behind your skirts once more, giggling when you turn around to chase her down. A smile finds its way to your face that isn’t forced because she really is adorable, and her little laughs soften your expression when you swing her up and warn her again not to hurt herself.
“Miss L/N?”
You whirl around. As does the rest of your family. 
“…Lord Kang?”
There he is standing just a few feet away, looking as surprised to see you as you are to see him. “Miss L/N,” he says again, a smile spreading across his face. “I didn’t expect to see you, though I suppose you and your family are here to enjoy the weather as well?”
“Yes, we are.” You smile back, trying not to cringe when the toddler still in your arms tries to grab at your hair. Thankfully, Jieun appears to relieve you of her child in that moment, whispering hurried apologies into your ear as she whisks past. “My family thought it would be good for the children to see the sun.”
“And for you!” Lilly whirls into the conversation with a beatific smile and the outward countenance of nothing but an angel. You grit your teeth as she continues. “My cousin spends far too much time indoors at that piano of hers, she hardly sees the sunlight.”
Lord have mercy. 
“Well, I have heard she is quite accomplished at it,” Lord Kang replies easily, that smile never wavering on his face. “Something has clearly come of all those hours she has dedicated to practicing.” He turns to you with that lovely smile and those dark eyes, and while he was handsome under the night sky, it can’t compare to what he looks like now, under the sun. “It seems good fortune has brought us together before the next ball of the season, Miss L/N. Would you mind if I joined your walk, so that we might continue our conversation from the other night?”
Well. You blink once or twice, casting a glance at your aunt, who seems about as confused as you are. In the absence of her input, you choose to assent. “Of course, my lord. We would be honored.”
And so the walk continues, though Lilly and Jieun continue to shoot you confused and excited glances every so often. You ignore them as you best you can, which isn’t hard when Lord Kang is beside you. 
“It’s good to see you, my lord,” you say. “How have you been since the Tillings’ ball?”
“Well enough, though the rain has been somewhat dragging on my mood over the past few days.” He shrugs. “Such is London, though.”
“It is a bit dreadful to think of, if this is what it’s always like,” you say, only half joking. “More time for me to practice, I suppose, though I must admit I am very happy to see the sun.”
“And to be with your family?”
“…Of course,” you respond quickly, though you’re sure he can see exactly how you feel about the group you’re walking with, judging by his half smile. 
“I understand,” he says quietly. “It is not always easy when one’s kin doesn’t quite appreciate the depths of one’s interests.”
You quirk an eyebrow. “You have experience with it too, my lord?”
“With music, somewhat,” he admits. “But more so reading. My family is well-read, of course, but many of them cannot fathom that I would usually rather be in my library than socializing with the ton.”
“I would agree with your sentiment.” The two of you laugh. “What do you like to read?”
It takes a little prodding, but your question eventually launches Lord Kang into a spiel about classics, about authors old and new, novels and philosophy and literature of times so far in the past that you almost can’t fathom it. Truth be told, you don’t know much about what he speaks of—you enjoy reading, but your books of choice tend to be the popular novels of today, and while you recognize some of the classic titles he mentions you can’t say you particularly enjoyed them. But listening to him talk about them, hearing the passion behind his every word, is captivating in a way that you’d never have thought possible when speaking of Plato and Aristotle. And in the midst of this, he never makes you feel out of place or stupid. He answers each of your questions with enthusiastic verve no matter how basic they are, and by the time his friends are calling for him from the end of the park, you’re both so wrapped in your conversation that you almost don’t hear them. 
“I’m afraid I must go,” Lord Kang apologizes when you finally point out the two men making their way towards you. “I promised I would meet them later.” He suddenly looks a little shy, which is a more endearing expression than you’d have expected on his handsome face. “I hope I did not bore you with my talk. I know this subject is not the most interesting to everyone and I can get…carried away with it.”
“Not at all,” you respond immediately. “Truly, not at all. I love hearing about the interests that others have, and clearly this is a deep one of yours. I enjoyed our conversation immensely.” You draw a short breath. “In truth, it was…very good to speak with someone other than my family today.” Your smile, though not forced, feels considerably smaller than it was before. “I do not have many friends in the ton, as I was abroad for so long. Thank you for taking pity on a poor soul such as I, and speaking to me as one.”
Lord Kang steps forward and takes your hand gently, so gently. When he looks into your eyes it is as though he sees all of your soul and your breath catches at the warmth of his palm against yours. “It was never pity,” he says sincerely. “You are a wonderful person with whom to speak, and if I may presume, the beginnings of a very good friend. I look forward to the next time I may see you.” 
You fight to keep your voice steady against the rush of heat in your cheeks. “And I you, my lord. Have a wonderful evening.”
The setting sun perfectly frames his lovely smile. “Until next time, then.” 
The pressure of his lips against your skin lingers long after he has disappeared, long after you have returned home, and long after you have retired for the night.
. . . . .
Beomgyu pounces the moment they’re all seated at the club. “So who was that?”
Taehyun really should have expected this. Even with that knowledge, though, he still has to roll his eyes. “Who are you talking about?” he can’t resist asking. Beomgyu is annoying. He has to be annoying back, sometimes. 
“The girl you were with. The debutante.” Beomgyu grins, undeterred. “Who is she?”
Taehyun gives up. He’ll never win against Beomgyu. “Miss Y/N L/N,” he says, conceding defeat. “We met at the Tillings’ ball a few days ago.”
Kai’s eyes widen. “The pianist?” 
“That’s the one.” Taehyun grins. “I told her you were almost inspired to take lessons because of her.” Kai groans, and Taehyun’s smile only widens. “She was flattered.”
“And I bet she laughed,” Beomgyu adds. 
“She did.”
Kai just screams into his hands. 
“I don’t believe that you didn’t make a fool out of yourself either,” Beomgyu accuses amidst Kai’s muffled screaming. “You admired her at least as much as he did, probably more for your love of music. How much of an idiot did you look when you realized it was her?”
Taehyun is an honest man, but only to a point. “Not much at all.”
Beomgyu snorts, but that’s when their drinks arrive, so Taehyun thanks the higher powers for intervening before he was forced into revealing the truth of warm cheeks and night air. “And how goes you and your lady friend?” Taehyun asks before Beomgyu can pick up his line of questioning again. “Last I remember, she was threatening to slit your throat with your own letter opener. Have there been any recent developments?”
It’s Kai’s turn to laugh while Beomgyu scowls. “Oh, are there,” Kai snickers. “It’s only the most interesting thing in Whistledown right now, second only to the continued absence of a diamond in the field of this season’s debutantes.”
Taehyun raises an eyebrow. “It’s made it into Whistledown?”
“An entire paragraph on the row they had at the last party in the country, right before the season started.” Kai grins. “I know you aren’t a fan of the gossip papers, Taehyun, but you have to read this one. I’ll send you a copy tomorrow. I can only wonder why Whistledown decided to wait until this issue to write about it, though perhaps such a sensational story needed several weeks to perfect.” 
Beomgyu scowls even harder as Taehyun laughs. “I don’t know why that woman Whistledown can’t mind her own business,” he complains. “It was a private argument.”
“A private argument in the gardens outside the host’s home, loud enough that we heard it from inside,” Taehyun says dryly.
“Yes, well, she’s irritating,” Beomgyu snaps, taking a gulp of his drink like he needs it to clear his memory. “Why do you keep asking me about her? I don’t want to talk about it, she’s infuriating.”
“You sure talk about her a lot for someone who says he doesn’t want to talk about her,” Taehyun smirks. “Also, you’re the one who tried to embarrass me first.”
Beomgyu growls. “It’s just ridiculous that she’s still angry over something from when we were children!”
“I don’t know, Beomgyu.” Taehyun shakes his head, hiding a smile. “I was there, and that was a lot of cake. And it washer birthday.”
“Yes, well, she threw dirt at me after that!”
“It sounds to me like you’re still pretty hung up over something from when you were children, too.” Kai sips at his drink, eyes glittering amusedly over the glass. 
Beomgyu just glares at both of them. 
“Alright, we’ll stop.” Taehyun snickers. “At least until I read the copy that Kai’s going to give me.”
“Read all you want.” Beomgyu rolls your eyes. “It’s one paragraph. And from the look you were giving the L/N girl earlier, that’s not even going to be the most interesting part of the paper to you.”
Taehyun blinks. “What?”
“She’s been in the papers,” Kai says. “She’s famous, remember? Whistledown gave her a whole half paragraph when she returned to town and her father announced her debut.”
Taehyun resists the urge to hit himself over the head. If he’d been in the habit of reading the gossip papers, maybe he wouldn’t have been so damn blindsided when he spoke to you at the Tillings’ ball the first time. “I suppose that makes sense.”
“I always make sense,” Kai sniffs, pointedly ignoring both Taehyun and Beomgyu’s snorts. “But how is she, as a person and as a debutante? I’m quite curious as to the persona behind the world-famous pianist.”
Taehyun opens his mouth, then closes it. Takes a sip of his drink. How exactly should he describe you to people you haven’t even met? You’ve only spoken twice—does he even have the right to say anything? “She’s very sweet,” he eventually says. “A bit shy, I think. It’s interesting—she doesn’t seem to enjoy being in the spotlight, though she clearly enjoys piano and performance. But she’s very humble, and I think she’s a very bright young lady.”
“Not without her own sort of wit and charm, then?” 
Beomgyu’s looking at Taehyun in a way he isn’t quite sure what to make of, but he answers anyway. “Very much so. You would probably enjoy a conversation with her.” He smirks at Beomgyu over his glass. “She’d probably like you, against her better judgment.”
Beomgyu cackles. “Of course she would, I’m a joy to be around.”
“You’re certainly something to be around, though I’m not sure I’d use the word ‘joy,’” Kai intones, taking a sip of his drink. “Is she adjusting to London well? She was abroad for a good many years.”
A snippet of your conversation from earlier comes to Taehyun’s mind. Your admission that after spending so much time away from London, you don’t have many people with whom to have a simple conversation with, just as simple friends. “She seems to be fine,” Taehyun replies slowly. “Though she mentioned it was a bit difficult to make friends after so long abroad.” He can’t imagine how hard the season must be for you, with a family who doesn’t respect your passion and no one to really confide in. For all he teases Kai and Beomgyu, he can’t imagine navigating life without them.
“The Duchess of Hastings was in a similar situation before she married Yeonjun,” Beomgyu says, and he’s giving Taehyun that strange, discerning look that he couldn’t decipher before. “Why don’t you introduce the two? Her Grace also quite enjoys music, I think they would get along quite well.”
“Invite her to the Hastings’ gathering next week,” Kai adds. “Of course ask the duchess first, but I’m sure she’d be happy to extend the invite.”
That’s actually brilliant, and Taehyun is privately put out that he didn’t think of the idea first. The more he thinks of it, the more he’s certain that you and his cousin could be good friends. “Yes, I’ll do that,” he says, half-rising out of his chair. “I’ll write to the duchess as soon as I can.”
“Surely not now?” Kai raises an eyebrow at Taehyun’s half-standing position. “You still have the whole night, there’s no reason to leave your drink unfinished.”
Taehyun flushes and sits back down. Kai’s comment makes complete sense—why was he standing up so urgently, anyway? “Of course,” he says, taking a sip to hide his embarrassment even though it’s definitely not fooling anyone. “By the way, Kai, how are your family affairs going? Surely your uncle still isn’t trying to lay claim to any part of your inheritance.”
It’s an obvious ploy to distract from his own embarrassment but Kai thankfully takes the bait, immediately putting forth an impassioned spiel about his arguments with his uncle’s idiotic solicitor that would put any of Shakespeare’s soliloquies to shame. It’s easy enough to laugh along and commiserate with Kai’s troubles that Taehyun allows his mind to wander a little, to the thought of you and the duchess meeting, to the beautiful music that is sure to follow, to the smile that will hopefully adorn your lips when you meet another woman who appreciates music as much as you. 
“You’re smiling an awful lot, Taehyun,” Beomgyu says, bringing Taehyun’s attention back to the present. He’s smirking a little and so is Kai, but Taehyun for the life of him cannot understand why. “Did you find Kai’s story really that funny?”
“No, I’m sorry.” He sips his drink, gesturing for Kai to continue. “I just got a little lost in thought.”
Kai keeps talking, and Taehyun goes back to listening. In the back of his mind, though, he’s hearing soft melodies in the darkened corridor of a mansion, and seeing the night sky twinkling above. 
. . . . .
Maybe someday receiving callers will no longer make you feel like flying to pieces. 
Today, however, is not that day. 
Four gentlemen callers—one of them Mr. Haynesworth, with whom you almost couldn’t hide your displeasure at seeing. The other three were pleasant enough and mostly inoffensive, but by the time the fourth caller came, you were running out of ways to begin small talk and based on your aunt’s subtle glare in your direction, it had probably started to show. 
It’s somewhat amusing, if not also somewhat depressing, how bad you are at speaking with strangers. You’ve performed for royal courts and houses of nobility for years, but when it comes to carrying a conversation, you can only bumble your way through inane small talk for so long before you run out of the headspace for it. Though privately, you think that’s a little unfair—it seems only right that it would be the caller’s job to ensure the conversation kept going, since they were the one who made the call, so you shouldn’t have to put in all the effort. But based on every glare or sniff or cough your aunt sent in your direction whenever the conversation faltered, that apparently is not the case.
It’s over, though. At least you think it is—it’s nearly five and no one has showed up since the last caller left. And if it isover, that means you have no one to entertain for the rest of the day. Your governess has already promised to bring your dinner to your room, and you plan on locking yourself in your music room for the rest of the night after that.
It’s like a reward.
“The biscuits are almost gone,” Aunt Taylor says, standing up from the settee. “I will have a servant bring more.” She fixes you with a stern stare. “Don’t slouch. It is not quite five, and you may still receive another caller yet.” She then sweeps out of the room, and once she’s gone, you slump into the cushions a little more, ignoring your governess’s fretful eyes. 
As if anyone would come calling now, really. Ten minutes to five, which means hardly enough time to begin a conversation once the initial pleasantries were dished out even if someone arrived right at this second. You sink a little further into the couch. Aunt Taylor won’t be back for another couple of minutes at least. You can take at least that long to be comfortable. 
Sooner than you’d like, footsteps sound in the hall outside. You quickly pull yourself up, smoothing out your dress, and await the renewed presence of your aunt. 
Only it isn’t your aunt. You blink when a footman enters instead, a card held in his hand. “A caller, my lady,” he says, squinting at the card. “Lord Kang, Earl of Addiston.”
What?
Of course, it is then that your aunt decides to sweep back into the room. “Another caller?” she asks sharply as a trailing servant places a refilled plate of biscuits on the table. “Who?”
Thankfully, your governess has recovered from the surprise more quickly than you have. “A Lord Kang, my lady,” she says. “Earl of Addiston.”
Your aunt throws you a sharp glance. Inwardly, you wilt a little—she’ll be sure to interrogate you after this, asking you to recount every last detail of your and the earl’s conversation yesterday in the park even though you already told her everything you could remember last night during dinner—but for now she says nothing as she nods to the footman. “Bring him in, please.”
For some reason, when you stand, your heart begins to race. You force yourself to take slow, deep breaths. It may be Lord Kang, but he called with only five minutes—now less—left on the clock. Surely he can’t have much to say. 
Though, a little voice in the back of your mind says, you’d much rather talk to him than any of the four who came earlier today.
Footsteps sound lightly in the hall, thankfully keeping you from pursuing that train of thought down unsavory paths. But then Lord Kang appears in the doorway, looking as handsome and gentle and polite as he has every time you’ve spoken to him, and it’s all you can do to keep your voice steady as you welcome him to your home. 
“Lord Kang.” You curtsy, your smile widening in a way that comes more easily now than it has all day. “Welcome. I hope you have been well since we last spoke.”
“I have been, and it is a pleasure to see you all again,” he replies, bowing politely. His eyes meet yours and, in the sunlight streaming softly through the window, they almost seem to sparkle. “I apologize for calling so late in the hour, but I had some business I had to attend to before I delivered this to you.” He produces a small envelope from a pocket and extends it to you.
You look at your aunt, who seems equally bemused as you. “If I may ask, my lord, what is this?” you ask, feeling the smooth paper between your fingers. 
“My cousin, the Duchess of Hastings, is hosting a small party next weekend,” he says, either ignoring or not hearing the collective half-gasp in the room at the mention of the duchess. “She and the duke have just come in from the country for the season, and she is holding a gathering for some friends and family. I mentioned that I had met you, and she was quite excited to extend you an invite—she is also an avid enjoyer of music and wonderful pianist, so I am sure you two will get along very well.”
You feel a little lightheaded. Sure, you’ve performed for royalty, but you’ve never been on close terms with any of them. You were very clearly the entertainer and they the entertained, with very little chance to cross that line even if you were of a mind to. But now Lord Kang is offering you the chance to become acquainted to a duchess, just a step below royalty, and who loves music and is a pianist at that—
One corner of the envelope digs into your finger. Just a slight pain, but enough to remind you that this is real and not a dream.
A quick glance at your aunt earns you a subtle but very emphatic nod, so you look back to Lord Kang with a smile wider than it has been all day. “Please tell the duchess that I would be delighted to come,” you say. “Thank you for the invite, my lord. I do look forward to this event.”
“It is my pleasure.” Lord Kang smiles, and you don’t think it’s your imagination when you muse that it might be a little brighter than it was before. It’s certainly not your imagination when you briefly think you might like to look at that smile for a lot longer. But then the clock chimes and the smile falls, replaced by a sheepish expression. “Apologies again for calling so late, my lady.”
You shake your head. “It was no inconvenience at all.”
“Be that as it may, I will not keep you longer than the calling hour lasts,” he says, sweeping a bow. “Good day, Miss L/N, Lady Taylor. I look forward to seeing you again soon.”
. . . . .
“Taehyun!”
Taehyun turns to the sound of his name, not bothering to hide the wide smile spreading across his face when he sees who called for him. “Your Grace,” he greets as his cousin comes closer, her eyes sparkling. “It’s good to see you.”
She waves a hand. “Dispense with the formalities,” she sniffs, and then they both laugh. “How have you been? Oh—remind me before you leave, but my footman will help bring some of the books I need to return to your carriage.”
“That would be wonderful, thank you,” he says sincerely. “I also brought some of my own books to recommend, as well as the ones you asked for. And I’ve been well, though I’ve learned that the season is rather more…daunting, than I would have expected.”
The duchess nods sympathetically. “I don’t honestly believe it’s fun for anyone,” she admits. “Except maybe the dancing. But there are plenty of young ladies this season who would be a good match for anyone, if Whistledown is to be believed. Speaking of.” Her gaze wanders to the entrance. “Is that her? The debutante you asked to invite?”
Taehyun turns around, catching sight of a familiar face, and smiles. “Yes, that is.”
You step into the room with a sort of trepidation that Taehyun sorely understands. In the moments before you see him, you look somewhat lost, your own eyes wide as you take in the whole room. Your expression seems a bit overwhelmed so Taehyun wastes no time in catching your eye, and when you recognize him something like relief seems to pass over your face. Somehow, you two meet in the middle of the fray and for one strange moment Taehyun finds himself almost breathless. “Lady Taylor. Miss L/N,” he greets, pressing a soft kiss to your gloved hand. “I’m so glad you were able to come. Please allow me to introduce you to Her Grace, the Duchess of Hastings.”
Lady Taylor curtsies, as do you. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Your Grace,” she says, her strong voice carrying just a hint of awe. “I am Lady Taylor, Viscountess of Wentworth, and this is my niece, Y/N L/N, daughter of the Viscount L/N.”
“It is wonderful to meet you both,” his cousin says, beaming widely. “And especially an honor to have met you, Miss L/N. You’ve caused quite a stir in town with your own fame here and abroad.”
Surprise flutters across your expression, replaced with a sort of embarrassed pride that Taehyun finds very endearing. “Your words do honor me, Your Grace,” you say, voice soft and shy, something of a far cry from the animation you displayed during the Tillings’ ball, or during your brief promenade in the park. You don’t look frightened, though, just somewhat in awe, so Taehyun brushes off his initial concern. “Particularly since the earl has mentioned that you are a lover of music, too. You give me high praise.”
Taehyun watches his cousin laugh and blush a little, and happiness bursts in a small bubble in his chest. She’s settled beautifully into her role as duchess and into her life with Yeonjun, but she’s still looking to widen her own circle of friends after spending so long abroad. The two of you begin to converse, your own shy face animating the more you speak, and with a smile and quick excuse, Taehyun ducks out of the conversation, heading toward the other end of the room. 
Yeonjun catches his eye first. “Taehyun!” he calls, beaming wide. 
“Your Grace,” Taehyun replies, settling into the circle that includes the duke, Beomgyu, Soobin, and Kai. “How have you all been?” 
Yeonjun pulls an exaggerated frown. “Hasn’t my wife told you to dispense with the pleasantries when we are among friends?” he asks, and Taehyun laughs because yes, she did exactly that. “Come, have a drink.”
Taehyun accepts the proffered glass and takes a sip. “You really pulled out all the stops for this,” he says approvingly, swirling the amber liquid inside. 
“What can I say?” Yeonjun shrugs airily. “My wife organized this. The least I could do is help make the event a success.”
“With expensive alcohol,” Soobin deadpans. 
“Exactly.”
Next to Taehyun, Beomgyu coughs very strangely. It almost sounds like he’s saying something like head over heels, actually. Then he yelps and Taehyun looks down just quickly enough to see Soobin’s foot pressing hard onto Beomgyu’s. 
Kai and Taehyun exchange glances. Taehyun has to look away to avoid bursting into laughter. 
“Don’t worry, Beomgyu.” Yeonjun beams beatifically over his own glass of expensive alcohol, sharp eyes glinting at his cousin. “Someday you’ll find a lady who will send you into fits of apoplexy with her beauty and wit, and on that day you’ll understand. Or maybe you’ve already found her.” He adopts a thinking expression. “Who was it that Whistledown mentioned? The lady from your childhood, Miss—”
Beomgyu lets out an incomprehensible noise somewhere between a screech and a snarl, and if they weren’t in Yeonjun’s own home, Taehyun thinks Beomgyu might have jumped the duke. As it stands, though, they begin bickering, which leaves Kai, Soobin, and himself to look at each other with raised eyebrows and exasperated smiles. 
“Let’s step away from the rabble,” Soobin suggests, and the three of them drift a short distance away. “I don’t understand how I’m related to them, sometimes.”
“Well, every family has its own set of strange relations,” Kai mutters. 
“You would know,” Taehyun says, and they all snort. 
“Do the inheritance squabbles still show no sign of ending?” Soobin asks curiously. “I would have thought by now that it’s become abundantly clear your uncle has no real claim to anything your grandfather left.”
Kai rolls his eyes. “Unfortunately not. But let us not speak of it now, please. Not in polite company,” he says, indicating the rest of the room. “Join me at the club sometime, and I will update you on all of it.”
“Of course,” Soobin says, dipping his head in apology. “How about you, Taehyun? How goes the season? I know you intended to find a wife by the end of it.”
Without really meaning to, Taehyun’s gaze wanders to the other end of the room, where you are still engaged in lively conversation with the duchess. “It is tiring in a way I did not really expect,” he replies. “Taemin didn’t complain much when he went through it, at least. But…” He pauses, wondering how much to tell. “I have met some very interesting young ladies.”
Kai snorts. Taehyun flashes him a short glare. “What?”
His friend doesn’t back down, just raises one mischievous eyebrow over his drink. “Well, I just think that I would say there’s one young lady that you find more interesting than all of the others.” 
Taehyun’s ears burn. He very purposely avoids looking in your direction again. 
“Well, do tell.” Soobin cocks his head, his own eyes glinting. “And don’t spare details.”
“There’s not much to tell,” Taehyun snaps, ignoring Kai’s snicker. “I’ve been speaking to Miss L/N, is all. The pianist,” he clarifies, and Soobin’s eyes widen in recognition. “She’s a very lovely young woman. Accomplished, not just with the piano, and very kind.”
“So lovely, actually, that he asked Her Grace to invite her today,” Kai adds. 
“Which one is she?” Soobin asks, ignoring Taehyun’s hiss of you suggested inviting her first! “Is she the lady speaking to the duchess now, with the rather dour-faced woman behind her?”
Taehyun sighs in defeat and nods. “Yes, she is.”
They all turn together, and almost at the same moment, the duchess turns in his direction as well. She catches his eye and immediately starts to head his way, bringing a small group with her. Kai glances at him with an eyebrow raised, but all Taehyun can do is shrug with similar confusion.
“Lord Kang,” she says as soon as they’re near enough to speak. “Mr. Huening. I understand that the two of you have seen Miss L/N perform before in Germany?”
They nod. “It was a most impressive performance,” Taehyun says earnestly. “A lovely program, played beautifully and wonderfully well.”
“Incredibly so,” Kai chimes in. “In fact, I was almost inspired to take music lessons because of it.”
You look supremely embarrassed, but the smile on your lips is still sparkling in your eyes in a way Taehyun hasn’t seen yet. “So you are the friend Lord Kang mentioned when we first met,” you say, and Taehyun has to laugh even as Kai flushes in embarrassment. “Oh—please do not be embarrassed, Mr. Huening. Your words do me a great honor, truly.”
“You are far too modest, my lady,” Taehyun replies, and while everyone’s attention turns to him, he keeps his eyes fixed on yours. “The praise is well earned, I hope you know that.”
“Which only means that the lady should honor our humble request,” Lord Jung says, a twinkle in his eye. “We were just asking that she take a turn on the pianoforte for us. A private performance, if you will, from one of the most accomplished musicians in our society. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity for many of us, after all.”
A chorus of agreement sounds from your little group and begins to ripple outwards to the rest of the room as well. People begin to turn, expectation and excitement bright in their faces, but Taehyun glances at you only to find your expression somewhat frozen. 
All at once he remembers the dark night at the Tillings’ ball, the exhaustion clear in your face and your voice when you admitted you were searching for quiet, too. Are you tired now in the same way? He subtly inches a little closer to you and whispers lowly, “You do not have to if you do not wish to.”
You look up at him and your expression clears, eyes turning soft as you smile at him. “Worry not, my lord,” you reply. “I would love to perform. I was just momentarily overwhelmed—I wasn’t expecting quite so much enthusiasm. I do thank you for your concern, though.”
Taehyun smiles, shaking his head. “You are too modest,” he repeats. “The enthusiasm is only to be expected with a name such as yours. I am excited to hear what you play for us, too.”
You don’t have the chance to refute his praise because his cousin is taking your arm and leading you to the empty piano, the rest of the room excitedly whispering behind you. Taehyun watches you sit down at the keys, running your fingers over them with an almost reverent touch, your head bowed slightly over the sea of black and white as though in prayer.
And maybe it is a prayer, Taehyun thinks. Reverence paid to your love, music—like one paying thanks to their god. The thought is beautiful, and as you straighten slightly, positioning your hands at the instrument, he can’t help but admire you more. 
He doesn’t recognize the piece you play. It’s a lovely work, the quiet melody evocative of the night and dark while short, bright stanzas bring to mind the stars, and as your fingers waltz softly across the keys, Taehyun loses himself in the beauty of the music and the beauty of you. It is not that you weren’t beautiful before—far from it, actually—but seeing you in your element, with people who clearly appreciate your work and talent, is a spectacle Taehyun knows he will never tire of watching. It isn’t just the music. It’s the way you play it, the way you move with the melody—it’s the way you embody the music with your whole being that adds to the beauty of the moment, and the loveliness that is you. 
You finish the piece to silence, everyone’s collective breath hushed as you coax the last note from the piano strings. For a long moment, even after the final echoes of music have faded away, you remain bowed over the keys, eyes closed, hands suspended in the air before they drop softly to your lap. 
The first clap hardly breaks you from your reverie. Even as the applause grows, even as you curtsy to the shouts of Brava filling the room, you still seem like you are being pulled from the loveliest dream. Briefly, Taehyun wonders what it would be like to be in that dream with you—would it be like floating among the stars, letting their soft light wash over his body, or would it be like lying on a field of green grass at night, staring up at the moonlit sky?
You meet Taehyun’s eyes and in a moment you seem to jerk awake—your smile widens, your expression brightens, and he can’t help but do the same as you curtsy again and again. All the time his eyes never leave your face, his mind never leaving the beauty of your performance. 
Kai sidles up to his ear and snorts when Taehyun barely notices him. “You are going to court her, aren’t you?” he asks without preamble. 
“Yes.” Taehyun doesn’t even turn his eyes away from you to reply. “Yes, I am.”
. . . . .
At the start of the season, you’d hoped that the daily parade of balls, gatherings, promenades, and callers would die down a bit as the weeks went on. The season itself is six months, already half a year—you really thought there would be no way that the steady stream of events could continue for so long. 
This, apparently, is not the case. 
It’s been a month and there is no sign of the flow ebbing even slightly. Even when there aren’t massive balls that the entire ton is invited to, there are still the smaller gatherings—small parties, invites to dinner, promenades in the park—and even during the events where only the women are present, the talk always seems to turn to the season, to the debutantes, to engagements and marriage, and most of all, the fact that the queen has still not chosen a diamond. 
You’ve heard all manner of stupidity about this last topic of gossip, and it honestly annoys you more than anything else you’ve seen during the season. If the queen hasn’t chosen a diamond by now, you’d like to say, perhaps that means she simply does not plan to. But apparently the idea of a diamond being absent for the entire season is simply unthinkable to the mamas of the ton, and so after the separation of the sexes at every dinner party you attend, you’re forced to listen to them run the topic into the ground. 
The duchess’s gathering last weekend was a lovely respite from such talk. It was a much smaller gathering, mostly friends and family of the duchy who no longer have much of a stake in the season or who have lived long enough for them not to care. You were very lucky to have gotten an invitation to it at all. It was the first event you attended that you truly enjoyed from start to finish and you walked away from it with both a lingering happiness, a possible good friend in the duchess, and a promise of a call from the lord who invited you to the gathering in the first place. 
Even now, you can’t stop the rush of heat to your face when you remember his sincere compliments after your performance at the duchess’s. The way his large eyes sparkled so earnestly, his words sweet but respectful—it is true that you have only known him for a few weeks, but in that moment, you remember thinking that with every meeting your estimation of his character only seems to improve. And it isn’t just because he is effusive in paying you compliments for your performances. Lord Kang…he sees the person behind the performer, the hard work behind the talent. Of course it helps that he is somewhat of a musician himself—you’d love to hear him play sometime—but he clearly respects the work anyone puts into their own craft, from what you gathered in the conversations you shared with others at the party. 
Before you left, he had found you again and asked, somewhat shyly, if you enjoyed reading about music history or theory. When you responded yes to both, he told you he had several volumes on the subjects in his library, and would be happy to lend them to you if you wished. 
Aunt Taylor was not pleased by your stammering reply. Neither were you. But it was such a kind gesture that it took you aback for a good few moments, and by the time you had finally managed to convey that you would love that, you felt a true mess. Lord Kang didn’t seem perturbed by it at all, though. His smile only widened, and he said that then he would have to call sometime the next week, to see you and bring them to you. 
Your governess is certain he means to court you. So do your cousins, though Aunt Taylor has forbidden them from gossiping about it as it isn’t a sure thing yet. You aren’t quite as certain as they are, but deep inside, battling with the part of you that fears marriage and its shackles of responsibility, another part of you hopes that she is right.
The prospect of Lord Kang’s call is really what keeps you going through the seemingly endless nights of dinner parties and mindless chatter, small talk made with family friends you hardly remember and debutantes who either talk about topics you don’t know or care little about, or who look like they want to be there about as much as you do. You find a few kindred spirits among those who are bold enough to whisper their disdain aloud, though, and they make the time more worth it. 
Still, when the morning of Lord Kang’s call comes, you can’t help but feel as though a new light shines on the day. Cousin Lilly slyly remarks that you look more excited than usual as she removes her toddlers from the drawing room in anticipation of calling hour, and even Aunt Taylor’s hissed instructions to sit straight or you’ll turn a perfectly good suitor away doesn’t dampen your mood much as you settle into the couch, watching servants flit about with last minute preparations. 
Just a few minutes after the clock strikes three, a footman enters the room. “Lord Kang has come to call, my lady,” he says. 
You force yourself to breathe properly as your aunt tells him to bring Lord Kang in. For once, you thank the heavens for your aunt’s beady-eyed attention to detail. While her sharp critiques may sting more than they help when directed at you, it means that the room is clean and bright. Lord Kang should find himself most comfortable when he comes in. Or so you hope. 
Lord Kang enters the room with little fanfare, but with an abundance of quiet grace that, for all your earlier nervousness, immediately calms your nerves. After the initial greetings, he remarks on the careful décor of the room and pays compliment to your aunt, who actually looks briefly stunned before she accepts his praise. You’re smiling widely by the time he turns to you—maybe too widely for your aunt’s liking, but you can’t help it—and dare you say it? His eyes seem to sparkle a little more when he looks at you. 
“My lady,” he says, kissing your hand. “I trust you have been well since we last saw each other.”
“Quite so, and I hope I might say the same for you,” you reply. Honestly, you’re quite proud of yourself for keeping your voice so steady when your heart leapt so wildly the moment his lips touched your knuckles. 
“You may,” he says, eyes crinkling with a little mischief. “And as promised, I have brought you the books I mentioned when we spoke last time. I do hope you enjoy them.”
“I’m sure I will,” you say, taking the small stack of books with delight. Their worn covers speak of frequent and fond use, you note, scanning the titles embossed on their spines. “Oh!” you exclaim, sliding one of them out of the stack. “Oh, I’ve been wanting to read this for quite some time.” You beam up at Lord Kang. “Thank you so much, my lord.”
“It is my pleasure,” he replies, a lovely soft smile on his lips. “And, please, take your time reading them. Do not endeavor to return them sooner than you’d like—I’ve read them all, so you need not rush.”
“You are most kind,” you reply sincerely. “Oh, which reminds me.” Placing the books on a nearby table, you pick up a few sheets of music from the drawing room piano. “You mentioned last time that you had not heard the piece I played, and that you found it quite beautiful,” you say, extending the music to him. “I thought…I thought you might like to have the music. If you wanted to learn it yourself.”
Lord Kang takes a moment before he accepts the music from your hand, which makes you a little nervous—what if he doesn’t care for your gift? There’s no way it really compares to the volumes he’s lent you, you think miserably, but it’s all you could think of to give in return. But then he looks up from the black notes inked on the page, and that lovely smile of his has widened along with his bright eyes. “Thank you so much,” he breathes. “This is…the most perfect gift, my lady. I hope you will not mind me borrowing it for a time.”
“Oh, do not worry about returning it,” you say, smiling. “This is a new copy—I have my own for myself. This one is for you.”
“Well, in that case, I know what I will be doing when I return home,” Lord Kang replies, and the two of you laugh. “I can only hope to learn this piece half as well as you have.”
You laugh again, hiding a shy smile behind your hand. “Again, my lord, you flatter me too much.”
“No, I fear the world does not flatter you enough.” His words are so sincere, so earnest that you momentarily find yourself at a loss for words. And it’s then, of course, that you notice you’re both still standing. You haven’t even offered him a seat yet. 
“You really are too kind,” you reply, internally screaming. “Please my lord, do sit. We have some refreshments if you should like any, and our cook can prepare others if you are feeling particular.”
Lord Kang truly does have perfect manners, you note as you sit down together. He compliments the chef, your aunt, your governess, all so quickly and smoothly you barely have a moment to bat an eye. And then, when you’re floundering a little for a way to begin a conversation, he again takes the lead and engages you easily with a question about the composer of the music you gave him. 
It’s so easy to talk to him. Not just because he’s a wonderful conversationalist, which he is, but you feel comfortable around him in a way that you haven’t felt with any of the other suitors you’ve entertained over the past couple of weeks. Part of it is your shared interests, of course, but he listens to you with an attentive and respectful air that makes talking to him so much easier. It doesn’t feel fake, the way it does with some of the other men. It feels as though he really cares about you, your interests, and what makes you happy. 
And because of this, it’s not difficult to reciprocate in kind. As he mentioned during your promenade, Lord Kang clearly loves literature. When you ask about his library, his enthusiasm about the subject is infectious. At some point you land on the topic of an author that you both have read, one that he enjoyed and you didn’t, and it sparks a lively back-and-forth that has both of you laughing in the end. You’re nowhere near as well-read as he is, and in this conversation it unfortunately shows—his opinions on the author are deep and nuanced while you struggle to articulate what it is about the writing that made you dislike it so—but he remains patient and respectful, and despite your lack of knowledge, just like when you spoke during your promenade, you never feel out of place or embarrassed. 
“You are so well-read, my lord,” you say at the end of your little debate. Your throat rasps a little from speaking so much but you hardly notice, you’re smiling so hard. “How did you come into possession of so many books, and how do you have the time to read them all?”
“Well, both my mother and father enjoy collecting books, so I grew up surrounded by them,” he replies. Of course, you think—such a love for literature must have been cultivated from a young age, just as your love for music. “I took it upon myself to read as many as I could when I was a child, and so when I went to school I quite enjoyed my classics lessons. Upon inheriting the earldom, I was pleased to learn that the estate came with a very large library that the previous lord had left.” At that, Lord Kang’s smile softens. “I’ve been spending all the free time that I can reading as much as possible. The late lord must have been collecting books for a very long time, though—sometimes I wonder if I will be able to finish them all before I pass on.”
You nod in sympathy. “I feel the same about all the sheet music I have collected over the years. I always want to add more to my repertoire, but there’s just so much in the world. I could certainly never hope to finish it all, though perhaps that is the beauty in it. The beauty in creation, I mean.” You glance at the music you gifted him, lying on the table beside you two. “I believe art is a tribute to humanity, to human emotion and empathy. People will be composing and writing throughout my life and long after my death, and to know that this beauty continues on even though I will not be there to share it…I think that is beautiful. It is a wonderful tradition, passed on through the ages, and I will always be honored to have been a part of it.”
A short silence falls after your declaration. Suddenly self-conscious, you look up to find Lord Kang’s eyes riveted to yours. “That is a lovely way of seeing things,” he says softly. “I had never thought about art before in such a manner.”
You duck your head, heat crawling up your cheeks. “Many perspectives exist when it comes to the philosophy of the arts, my lord. This is only mine.”
He cocks his head, meeting your eyes again. “And a lovely philosophy it is, my lady.”
Thankfully—or unthankfully, really—you’re saved from having to come up with a response by the entrance of your footman. “Another caller has arrived,” he says, glancing at you, then Lord Kang, then at your aunt. “Shall I send him in?”
You glance up at the clock. Already half an hour has passed, though to your mind it feels like only seconds have slipped away—certainly not thirty minutes, already ten minutes over what a normal call would be. Inwardly you curse the next caller for having come too soon—actually, for having come at all—because while you may not know him well, you’re quite certain Lord Kang’s impeccable manners will have him clearing out before the next caller comes in. 
To your chagrin, you’re right. Lord Kang quickly stands and you follow suit, still cursing the clock and the caller. “I will not intrude upon your next call, my lady,” he says, and maybe it is delusion but you fancy he sounds somewhat put out when he says this. “I have already taken too much of your time.”
“Not too much at all, my lord.” You curtsy to his short bow. “I did not realize so much time had passed, but I quite enjoyed our conversation. And thank you kindly for lending me your books. I will be sure to enjoy them.”
“Of course.” He inclines his head with an enchanting smile. “And I must thank you again for your kind gift, my lady. Perhaps by the next time we meet, I will have learned to play it.”
You grin. “I do hope so. It would be so lovely to hear you perform sometime.”
With that, Lord Kang makes his goodbyes, and you’re left to welcome the next caller. He is thankfully not Mr. Haynesworth, as you had privately been dreading, but really, you feel that any caller would have paled in comparison to Lord Kang. Lord Kim, whom you met at the last ball you attended, isn’t rude or vile or even awkward. He’s a gentleman, all things considered. But after the requisite greetings, he begins the call with an outright statement about his plans for the future, which leaves you half-floundering for a response after your previous lively conversation with Lord Kang. 
Lord Kim doesn’t share any of your interests. He barely feigns interest in your music, and though he doesn’t say it outright, you’re almost certain he would want you to give up the piano if you were to marry. Though that’s not even what bothers you the most, you realize only when he’s about to leave—it’s the fact that he didn’t even ask you about it. It’s the expectation that he seems to have that you would do what he says without question, without the respect of even considering your passions and interests when planning out the rest of your possible life together. 
Later that night you lie awake in your bed, staring at the dark ceiling as you run through the events of the day. In an ideal world, you ask yourself, if you were to be married, what would make it a perfect marriage?
No conflict. Perfect understanding of one another, and perfect respect. But really, those are impossible demands. You’re not sure any marriage would be perfect without conflict, anyway—such a relationship sounds awfully like a domineering husband and submissive wife, which you hope to fully steer clear of. 
But understanding and respect, even if not perfect, doesn’t seem like it should be so unattainable. Marriage, you think, should be a partnership. And a partnership implies a mutual respect for one another, no? And maybe the definition of respect varies from one person to another, but for you, it involves a consideration of your interests and how deeply they play a role in your life. Because for you, before now, almost your entire life was music. You can’t—won’t—give it up just to play a role in society. So is there anyone who might give you that respect?
The answer is obvious already. 
You sigh, rubbing a thumb over where Lord Kang kissed your hand earlier in greeting. He certainly seems to be the ideal, at least for you. Your mind returns to your avid conversation, and his complete attentiveness to you. 
Few people have listened to you like he did today. Your mother did before she died, and sometimes your governess does, but not many others. You need that, you realize. You need someone, or something, to hear you—it’s partly why you poured so much of yourself into the piano when your mother passed, because it felt like only the instrument could hear you and understand your pain, your grief. That is what you need in marriage. In partnership. 
And, you think, remembering large eyes and a soft, wide smile, there’s only one person you know who seems to fit this ideal. 
. . . . .
“You look like you’re having quite a lot of fun.”
Taehyun turns from where he’s been staring at the drink table for probably a little too long. “Yeonjun? I didn’t know you’d be here tonight.”
The duke picks up two glasses and hands one to him. “We weren’t certain if we were going to come either. The duchess decided last night that she wanted to get out of the house for some time, so here we are. ”
Taehyun nods. “Come to think of it, I haven’t seen the two of you out much since you returned to town.”
“It’s only been a couple of weeks since we returned,” Yeonjun defends. “There was and still is much to sort out, and unfortunately I have to return to the country next weekend to supervise the removal and fixing of some of the farmers’ equipment.” He sighs. “I hate responsibility.”
“It will all be fine, I’m sure,” Taehyun comforts. Yeonjun and his wife are two of the most capable people he knows; he’s certain they will be alright no matter what challenges they face. “Join us at the club tomorrow afternoon,” he offers. “Kai, Beomgyu, and Soobin will be there too.”
Yeonjun brightens immediately. “I will be there.” Then he squints his eyes into a mock frown. “Are you all now meeting without me? Is it because I’m old, and married, and jaded now?”
“Well, when you put it that way…” Taehyun snickers into his drink as Yeonjun’s pout deepens exaggeratedly. “No, we just met up a few times when you were still in the country. You’ll be included in every invite now, I promise.” He pauses. “Though of course if you are busy, you are under no obligation to come.”
“Thank you very much.” Yeonjun grins, that eye smile that drove so many debutantes insane appearing on his face. “But enough about me. Now about you.” He fixes Taehyun with a stern eye. “I thought you were looking for a wife? You won’t have much luck with that, staring at this array of drinks.”
Taehyun makes a face. “I think many of these mamas want to find their daughters husbands more than I want to find myself a wife,” he mutters. 
Yeonjun nearly chokes into his drink. “That’s certainly one way to put the issue,” he coughs out, recovering. “Though I heard from Beomgyu that there is already a lady you have decided to court?”
“…Yes.” Taehyun narrows his eyes. “How did you know that? I only told Kai.”
“He says he heard it from Kai, so I think we know what happened there.” Yeonjun shrugs as Taehyun sighs. “Apparently you didn’t say it was a secret.”
He didn’t. But all the same… “He’ll be the death of me, someday,” Taehyun mutters. “But yes, I have someone in mind. Miss L/N. You met her a couple of weeks ago, at the gathering.” He pauses, then decides he may as well just be out with it. “I’ve been calling on her since.”
“That is wonderful to hear,” Yeonjun replies sincerely. “Is she here tonight?”
“She said she would be.” Taehyun glances around the room. “I specifically asked, because we keep seeming to miss each other at all the other balls. If I’m there, she isn’t, and if I’m not, she is.” They share a little laugh. “I haven’t been able to find her here since I arrived, though.” He gestures helplessly at the drink table. “Hence…”
Yeonjun makes a little ‘o’ of understanding. “I see. And you do not want to dance with any of the other debutantes?”
“I already have,” Taehyun says, glancing at the bustling dance floor. “I’m just…tired, I suppose.” He tries to smile. “You know how it is.”
He doesn’t, not really. In the year since Taehyun gotten to know the duke, he’s come to the conclusion that Yeonjun is like Taemin when it comes to things like this—ever social, ever happy to entertain and be entertained. But also like Taemin, he understands that Taehyun is different, and tires of these things much more easily than he does. “I understand,” Yeonjun replies sympathetically. A little glint enters his eye when he sees something just behind Taehyun. “If you’d like, I can cover you for a bit. So you can find some quiet.”
Taehyun casts a glance back. Sure enough, a small group of mamas and their daughters seem to be eyeing him and the duke. “That would be most appreciated,” he says gratefully. 
Within moments, Yeonjun has skillfully engaged the group of ladies in conversation and has also managed to snag a hapless Wooyoung into joining him, leaving Taehyun to slip past the throng. As the rooms grow less crowded and the corridors quieter, he takes a deep breath, reveling in the silence. 
Only it isn’t completely silent, even in this empty room. If Taehyun listens carefully, he can catch a hint of a melody that isn’t just the remnants of the orchestra fading in from a nearby corridor. 
Within moments, he’s heading down the corridor, a smile curving his lips as he searches for the source of the music. 
He finds the room with a little difficulty, following the sound of your performance down corridor after corridor. When he finally stumbles upon the slightly cracked open door, Taehyun is reminded of the second ball of the season, where he heard you that first time. He didn’t know it was you then, but he certainly knows it is you now. It helps that this is a piece he’s heard you play before—it’s a lovely Mozart sonata you performed when he called on you a few days ago—but your style is also so distinctive that even though Taehyun has only heard you play a handful of times, even not knowing the piece, he’s almost certain he would still know it was you. 
Taehyun smiles just beyond the room, leaning closer towards the open door. He won’t disturb you—even though he aims to court you, he would never trap you into a proposal by having someone catch the two of you alone together. He just wants to listen. And perhaps, when you’re finished, he’ll be able to catch you when you return back to the party, and you two can share a dance. 
It’s strange that in all the times you’ve met, the two of you have not yet danced together once. Taehyun aims to rectify that as soon as he can, if you will allow it. 
And allow it you will, he thinks. He’s certain he’s not the only one who has noticed how well you two get along. You must have felt it too, just as you must also have seen by now that he is quite interested in you.  And he’s almost sure that you are interested in him too, if your shy smiles and sweet words are anything to go by. 
Closing his eyes, he leans closer to the music. A brilliant sparkle of notes swirl under your fingers, the melody leaping with a joy that lingers in his ears and widens his smile. Cheerful and sweet, though there’s a noise that doesn’t sound right entering the piece. It’s strange—it sounds something like—
Footsteps?
Taehyun quickly ducks into a nearby empty room, praying no one saw him. The low conversation of the small group continues without interruption and he breathes a sigh of relief. They keep coming closer, though, and he thinks he can hear the voice of Lady Arina Park telling Her Majesty—she brought the queen?—that she must see the Gérard painting in this room, it’s quite famous and apparently not a fake—
Holding his breath, Taehyun watches them enter the room where you’re playing. But the music doesn’t stop, not just yet. He almost smiles—it’s not hard to believe you would be so lost in the melody that you wouldn’t notice a small group of people entering the room—but that smile freezes in place when the queen makes an exclamation and the music ends abruptly. 
Taehyun swallows. This might not be good. The queen can’t be pleased that you would avoid a ball to play the pianoforte—maybe he can help, just enter the room and act surprised to see everyone. He could easily claim he was curious about the music. 
He edges into the hallway just in time to hear you apologizing profusely. “Forgive me, Your Majesty, I was only taking a small pause from the ball—”
“Because you delight in your endeavors.” Taehyun stops short when he hears the smile in Her Majesty’s voice. He should leave—from her tone, you are probably not in trouble, which means it’s better for him not to be here. He wouldn’t want to be accused of eavesdropping on Her Majesty. Still, though he can’t help but hear the queen’s words as he takes soundless steps down the hallway. “Someone who performs not for me, but for themselves. Brava.”
That, Taehyun can agree with. Yet while part of his heart leaps in happiness for you—it is, after all, no small feat to impress the queen—another part of him remembers your desire for quiet at the Tillings’ ball and wonders what the queen’s attention might mean for an introverted woman like you. 
You mumble something that he doesn’t quite catch. And as Taehyun steps down the corridor, he hears the queen speak again, pleasure clear in her tone. 
“A performance that sparkles,” she declares. “Just like a diamond.”
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Reblogs and comments are deeply appreciated! Hope you enjoyed this, and have a lovely day :) Note: part 2 will be posted in three days, on June 17 at 8pm EST :)
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sagesolsticewrites · 7 months
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Masters of the Air Masterlist
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Major Gale “Buck” Cleven
Kiss It Better? 💋 - my very first MOTA drabble based on the prompts “boo boo kisses” & “ pet names” (base nurse!reader)
Kiss It Better pt 2 💋 - That lipstick mark leads to a surprising turn of events 👀
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Major John “Bucky” Egan
Oblivious - Bucky’s been trying to get your attention for months now, but you continue to misinterpret his romantic advances as friendship. Everyone else on base is tired of seeing you two dance around each other, and they decide to take matters into their own hands.
Homecoming - John finally returns home to his girl (based on the prompt “carrying the other one in their arms”)
requests are open!
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Lt. Harry Crosby
Just Say Yes - Tooth-rotting fluff based on the prompt “If you asked me to marry you tomorrow, I’d say yes.” “What about today?”
Harry Crosby Certified Wife Guy™️ - minific about Croz being head over heels for his wife and the entire 100th knows it
Dear… - A series of letters from one Lt. Harry Crosby to his wife 🤍 (a sort-of continuation of Just Say Yes, but can be read as a standalone!)
A Little Fire - In which Harry Crosby shows his wife exactly how much he appreciates her 😏 (spicy!! 18+!! minors begone!!)
Heat Wave - It’s the hottest summer Iowa’s had in a while. Your husband wears shorts. It gets even hotter (spicy!! 18+!! minors begone!!)
In My Arms - Sometimes your husband just needs to be held. (lots and lots of fluff) (coauthored with Winnie!)
Yes, Major - … I mean. Do I even need to say it? 👀 Dom!Croz (spicy!! 18+!! minors begone!!)
requests are open!
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Sgt. Ken “Kenny” Lemmons
• requests are open!
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Lt. Curtis “Curt” Biddick
To The Rescue - in which your friends drag you out to a bar against your will, but you meet a certain soldier that makes it worth it
requests are open!
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Major Robert “Rosie” Rosenthal
Take A Break - Rosie runs into a childhood friend at the flak house
Welcome Home - Rosie finally returns home after his second tour, and you take the opportunity to show him exactly how much you missed him 🫠 (spicy!! 18+!! minors begone!!)
It’s Been A Long, Long Time series:
Kiss Me Once - The moment you’ve been anxiously awaiting is finally here — your boyfriend Rosie Rosenthal finally arrives home
Kiss Me Twice - You and Rosie finally have a “proper reunion” 😏😉 (spicy!! 18+!! minors begone!!)
Kiss Me Once Again - Rosie takes you to his apartment for a proper date night away from his family 😏 (18+ minors dni!)
requests are open!
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Captain John Brady
Brady’s Smash Wagon - Your boyfriend (Captain John Brady) takes you (his Red Cross girlfriend) to see his Flying Fortress. Shenanigans ensue 👀 (spicy!! 18+!! minors begone!!)
Love’s Light Wings - John Brady x Juliet Thompson (OFC)
Pen Pal - Jules gets a letter from her boy an ocean away— as well as a message from a new friend. (taking place pre-LLW prologue, just a little blurb about Jules getting the letter Olive wrote to her in Part 7 of @winniemaywebber’s masterpiece Honeysuckle Rose!)
Hot Summer Night - In which John Brady helps his wife through a stiflingly hot New York summer night (18+ minors dni)
Yes, Captain - Things are getting steamy for the Bradys when Jules lets a certain title slip— John decides he likes it (18+ minors dni)
Prologue (“for stony limits cannot hold love out”)
Chapter 1 (“as boundless as the sea”)
Chapter 2 (“the course of their love never did run smooth”)
requests are open!
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Captain Bernard “Benny” DeMarco
Pyaar Dosti Hai - Benny DeMarco x Ruthvika Patel (OFC)
Chapter 1 - Ruthie Patel runs into a certain furry member of the 100th Bomb Group— and his owner— on her way to celebrate her friend Juliet’s engagement to John Brady. The gang quickly welcomes her into their found family, but there could be something more between her and Benny DeMarco— if either of them ever finds the courage to make a move.
requests are open!
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Anthony Boyle
Sundress - in which date night takes a turn when Anthony sees the outfit you’ve chosen (spicy!! 18+!! minors begone!!)
Lipstick Kisses - the sweetest, spiciest Anthony fic y’all ever saw (feat… uh, Things Happening in cars 👀) written by my bestie Winnie!!! (spicy!! 18+!! minors begone!!)
Pillow Talk - Anthony is in desperate need of rest & relaxation when he returns home from his latest project, and you’re more than happy to provide it. (coauthored with Winnie!!!)
Come and Kiss Me - Anto takes you as his date to the Oscars. Things get very soft and veryyyy spicy (spicy!! 18+!! minors begone!!)
The Stache Fic - Anto grows a mustache. You like it… a lot. (spicy!! 18+!! minors begone!!)
Better Kind of Best Friend - Anthony, your friend-with-benefits, stops by for an impromptu visit after an interview. (spicy!! 18+!! minors begone!!)
No Rush - just a soft lil makeout blurb <3
Freckle Kisses - very short very sweet lazy morning blurb
Waking Up Next to You - soft lazy morning smut <3 (spicy!! 18+!! Minors begone!!)
i thought we had no chance (and that’s romance) - You resolve to tell Anthony about your feelings— with surprising results. (Part Two to Better Kind of Best Friend) (spicy!! 18+!! Minors begone!!)
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finnylemon · 4 months
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🥚John Dory and the Lonely Egg - Part 2💕
Sequel to this post 👈❗️
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Whatttt Finny drawing trolls angst no wayyyy
The night they returned to Grandma Rosiepuff for good is certainly not one any of the boys will forget. The thunderstorms, the terrifying uncertainty, it all made our four boys petrified of what was to come.
Although John could barely comprehend himself what exactly was going on, there was one thing different. They now had a tiny life on their hands, and no matter what they wanted that little egg was going to need help. And John could NOT let his brothers know, no matter what. He had to keep them calm, and safe, no matter how scared they all were.
After everyone else close to John turns on him, he's left with no other option but to leave his parent's home and seek out their Grandmother, whom they would occasionally visit on holidays.
After losing their mother (who as far as John knew, was not even aware of Branch's existence based on the time of her passing) their father mysteriously dissappears after falling victim to his grief and leaves behind a small, insignificant blue egg. Only a poorly written letter was found as an apology to John for a lifetime of plight.
Grandma Rosiepuff knows her daughters death was difficult on her immediate family, but did not think it would go this far. As an otherworldly promise to her tragically lost daughter, Grandma Rosiepuff takes in the five children, being their last living relative from the tragedy that was the Troll Tree.
AHHHH Holy shit I love drawing trolls angst THEMMM POOR JOHN this is all purely my own headcanon BTW! I designed Grandma Rosiepuff to look a bit like Rose from Steven Universe. She has that vibe it's very fitting. The trolls universe is so like masking of the actual issues in the first movie its insane??? Yay everyone's happy but we totally weren't being held captive for who knows how long but that's just life :D and Rosiepuff would just be used to it, as sad as that is. "Of course my family" she's probably thinking. Their might be some sort of lingering curse around their blood. They might just be a doomed race. WHO KNOWS!
Lore for the memoir AU
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citrineandrosmarin · 3 months
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Psephoi (Greek Alphabet) Divination
AKA Grammatomancy
What is it?
So there were many forms of divination in classical Greece, and one was the drawing of lots - having a collection of some kind of tokens (sticks, stones, beans, etc.) with a certain symbol on them that one would draw by chance, and each symbol would have a certain meaning. This is a type of kleromancy.
The Greek Alphabet Oracle is such a method, whereby you draw a token that has a letter of the classical Greek alphabet. Each letter corresponds to an oracular phrase (chresmoi) that, in Greek, starts with that letter. It is also known as the Psephoi Oracle because psephoi is the word for a pebble that was used for both divination and voting purposes.
Although it seems that the right phrase was initially obtained by throwing knuckle bones (astalagoi) and adding indicated numbers for a numerical value that was associated with a letter, most people today just use pebbles/stones/etc. with the letter itself on them, much like Norse runes. This sort of divination was under the domain of Hermes and Apollo.
Where does it come from?
The stone inscriptions that are the source of this method of divination were found in public spaces across several places, most notably in Lycia. The inscriptions were rediscovered and written about by German archaeologist Johannes Nollé. Many of the different sets of inscriptions were the same or similar. One in Olympos, Lycia, had different versions of some phrases and I've included them as alternatives here.
Resources:
Omens and Oracles: Divination in Ancient Greece by Matthe Dillon, pages 272-273
The Oracles of Apollo by John Opsopaus
How Do I Make A Set?
You will need:
The psephoi (Those glass pebbles for aquariums or small stones or pebbles or lil wood discs or whatever you want to make it out of)
A marker of some sort
A container to keep them in
They're very easy to make, just write a letter of the classical Greek alphabet on each psephoi you're using. Some may look similar when rotated so make a note of those and make sure you can tell which is which. I put a small dot at the bottom like you might find on polyhedral dice.
How Do I Use The Set?
Easy!
Method 1: Put the psephoi in a container, mix them up as you ask your question and pull one out without looking. Repeat if desired.
Method 2: Put the psephoi in a container, ask your question, shake them around until one or more jump out of the container.
The Alphabet and Interpretations
*In the spirit of keeping the first letter of the phrase the same as the letter you draw, John Opsopaus in his book includes his own version of the phrase. I will include these also as Alt, and when I have altered them myself they or the word will be in italics.
**Some have alternative versions that come from the Olympos site in Lycia. They are included with a [O].
***Some of the interpretations are from Opsopaus' book, some are others' that I found, and others are my own interpretations.
Α - Alpha
"The god [Apollon] says you will do everything successfully"
Alt: All things you will achieve with good fortune
Interpretations: You'll do great! You will succeed. Projects will go well. Everything is fine. Don't doubt yourself. Complete success. Good luck. Favorable Outcome. Best outcome you can ask for.
B - Beta
"Wait a little; it is not opportune for you"
Alt: Briefly wait, the time is not right for you
Interpretations: Try another time. Now is not the right time. Wait a little and you will receive a better outcome. Be patient. With a delay, the time will be right. Timing is everything. There is a time for everything and everything has its season. It would be to your advantage to wait for the opportune moment. Wait for the perfect moment. Don't act with haste. Slow down.
[O] "You will have Tyche [Fortune] and the Pythian [Apollon] as a helper."
Alt: Both Apollon and Fortune will bring you aid
Interpretations: You will receive help, particularly prophetic help. Call on Apollon for help, he will assist you. The theoi will help you if you ask. Ask for help. You are at a critical point, but if you are fortunate, Apollo the Far-shooter will help you if you call on Him. Even with luck, the God will only assist; ultimate responsibility is yours. With proper acts and choices - and a bit of luck - you’ll be successful. You will get help as long as you put in the work. Rely on and call on the help of the gods, however it may come. Help will come from unexpected, distant or indirect sources when you need it most.
Γ - Gamma
“Gaia will give you the ripe fruit from your labors”
Alt: Gaia gives you the results of your efforts
Interpretations: You will get the results that you have worked hard for. You'll get what you have earned. You reap what you sow. Your efforts will be rewarded. You’ll get what you deserve. Anything done previously will now return a result back to you, whether good or bad. Everything that happens is a direct result of everything that was already done. Past events and actions determine future ones. Usually a good omen of success.
Δ - Delta
"Desist from dreadful deeds, so that you avoid harm."
Alt: Dodge the dreadful deeds, avoiding harm.
Interpretations: Avoid matters that are terrible, fearful, or uncanny. Beware of the excessively wonderful, skillful, or clever. Don’t commit terrible deeds. Stay away from strange circumstances and affairs. Don’t make bad choices for the sake of expediency. In these ways you may escape harm.
[O] "In customs, inopportune strength is weak"
Alt: Drive ill-timed is weak before the rules
Interpretations: Ill-timed force will be ineffective; act with precision; timing is everything. Knowing where and when to strike is more important than strength. Blind conformity to customs is spineless; overly strict adherence to rules is self-defeating. Unreasonable or undue force will defeat itself; a tyrant must fall. In all things, follow the process and protocol. Slow down, form a strategy, and work with the system. Don’t force matters. Work smarter, not harder. Be responsible, not reckless, with the power you have. Knowing where and when to strike is more important than strength.
Ε - Epsilon
"You desire to see offspring from proper marriages."
Alt: Eager art thou for right unions' fruits.
*Desire here being "Eraô" which could also be 'love' or 'are in love with'
Interpretations: You think you know what’s right. You think you know and want the results of a union or action. Reflect on what you’re hoping for. What do you think you want? How do you think you will get that? You think you know the right/best way to do things. What you think is right and successful isn’t what is actually right/fitting. We want to see the results from acceptable convergence of actions. We can only act within the boundaries of what is proper. Worry about yourself, stay in your lane and don’t meddle in the affairs of others.
Ζ - Zeta
"Flee the great storm lest you somehow be harmed"
Alt: Zealously avoid the harmful storm!
*Harmed here can also mean hindered
Interpretations: There’s a storm coming, get out of the way. Difficult and dangerous situations are coming, stay out if at all possible! Sometimes the storms just happen, but other times, we cause them. You will only be harmed or hurt by getting involved in what comes. Prepare to be hit by the storm. Avoid raging storms of any kind; save your energy for when it can be effective. Escape from the chaos or controversy. Sometimes flight is wiser than fight. Go with the flow. Don’t get involved in conflicts.
Η - Eta
"Bright Helios [Sun], who watches everything, watches you."
Alt: Helios, all-seer, watches you.
Interpretations: You can’t hide. You’ve got the spotlight on you. Act nobly and openly, and you will have spiritual blessing and protection. This is not a time to be secretive or hidden in your works. Anything in the dark will be thrust into the light. Anything secret will be revealed. Anything made in oath or promise will be enforced. Keep your promises and be genuine, and you will be cared for.
Θ - Theta
"You have the gods as assistants and defenders."
Alt: Thou hast gods as comrades and as aides.
Interpretations: You have divine assistance at hand. The theoi will aid and defend you. Call on the gods for help, and they will be there for you. Have confidence! Your deities have your back and are guiding you. You are on the right path.
[O] "You have the gods as assistants of this path."
Alt: Thou hast gods as helpers on this path.
Interpretations: You’re on the right path, under divine care. You’re on the right path, so stick to it and stay on it. This is what you are meant to be doing. Commit yourself to the inquired matter and approach, and you will have success and protection, insofar as it is possible to do so. You still have to do the work though. The gods will bless those who honor them, and help those who help themselves. Heading out on your path, remember to be grateful, appreciative and respectful.
Ι - Iota
"There is sweat, it excels more than everything."
Alt: It is through sweat that you will succeed.
Interpretations: Although you are working hard, you will accomplish everything. Hard work is the surest means of success. The oracle recommends elbow grease. Toil, work, and labor is required in order to succeed. Keep working, and success will result, no matter the cost. Just focus on the work, don’t worry about the outcome. Giving up is not an option.
Κ - Kappa
"To fight with the waves is difficult; endure, friend."
Alt: Contests with the waves are hard; endure
*'Endure' can also mean 'delay'
Interpretations: The problems of life will come and go, but will never fully go away. Either wait for the currents to be favorable, or find a way to ride them. You might be caught in a tough situation with no clear way forward. Don’t fight it; endure.  Wait when possible, persevere with care. Work with the sea rather than against it. Don’t give up; sink or swim. If you’re going through Hell, keep going.
Λ - Lambda
"Make an end of grief; hereafter expect joy."
Alt: Leave off grief, and then await delight.
Interpretations: You have grieved long enough. Although you have been sad, you will be happy soon. Stop worrying, and prepare to be pleased. Turn your attention from your pain to the things that give you joy. Pain will yield to happiness. You have been through dark times, but the sun will rise again.
[O] "The one passing on the left bodes well for everything."
Alt: Luck comes from unexpected places.
*The left is traditionally the sinister side. The left is also associated with the unconscious, lunar mind.
Interpretations: A promising sign comes from an unpromising quarter. Whatever looks bad at the start will turn out well in the end. A blessing in disguise. Or, at least, whatever ill omens there are are not intended for you. Pay attention to your intuition, dreams and expressions of your subconscious.
Μ - Mu
"You press on in vain; don’t hurry; it’s not useful."
Alt: Make no haste; in vain you press ahead.
Interpretations: Don’t keep busy at what you are doing, it’s pointless. Haste makes waste. You are rushing around and working hard, but randomly and thoughtlessly. You are putting a lot of energy into wasting time. Pressing on now will be futile; wait for a better time.
[O] "It is necessary to be weary with toil, but the change will be admirable."
Alt: Mandatory toil: the change is good.
Interpretations: Through toil and distress a change will be made for the better. Hard work will result in a good return. It is your fate to be weary with labor, but there will be a beautiful or noble transformation. You are obliged to work hard, but the change will be good. Circumstances will cause distress, but there will be a good change or exchange. Pain will force an admirable change. You will need to work hard.
Ν - Nu
"Now the fitting opportunity for everything arises"
Alt: Now springs forth the fitting time for all.
Interpretations:
Now is the suitable time for anything; the right time begins now. You are entering into a harmonious season, a time when everything is well ordered and bears fruit. An appropriate opportunity or profit is at hand; it is developing. Orderly profits are growing. The most suitable situation is now. Seize the moment; you can accomplish anything! You are entering a synchronistic period when anything is possible.
[O] "A victory-bearing gift enwreathes the oracle"
Alt: Nike’s gift enwreathes the oracle
Interpretations: Something will be given (to you, by you, or from one to another) that brings victory with it and will crown this oracle. The import seems to be that this gift will be the answer to the question asked of the oracle. So, for example, if the querent asked when something will happen, the gift is the sign that it’s immanent.
Ξ - Xi
"The seasonable fruit of Deo the golden awaits you"
Alt: Xanthic Dêô’s ripened fruit awaits.
Interpretations: The fruit that is due now is available for you. The ripe grain is yours for the cutting. The gifts of the goddess are yours for the taking. She has brought you the profits, results, or returns that are due. The goddess Dêô (a name for Demeter, the Grain Mother) has brought you some benefit, so perhaps you should accept the gift.
[O] "There is no fruit to take from a dry shoot."
Alt: Expect no fruit from withered shoots.
Interpretations: Don’t wait too long to harvest or to take your profit. You can’t get blood from a turnip; you can’t get water from a stone. Don’t polish a turd. You won't get something from nothing. Being bitter and angry is not the way to go about things. Don’t keep trying to pull water out of a well that is empty, and know when to let go. Do not expect more from something than it can give. You’re on a dead-end path. Things have failed before they’ve even begun. Better to start over from scratch or look elsewhere entirely. Stop asking questions you already know the answer to: You already have an answer. The gods may be unwilling to talk at this point, so stop bothering them.
Ο - Omicron
"There are no crops to be reaped that were not sown."
Alt: Out of sight are crops that are not sown.
Interpretations: You reap what you sow. You will get nothing because you have given nothing. If you do not work now, there will be no reward later. If you want apples, plant apple seeds. What we spread about comes back to us. What goes around comes around. You must plan ahead in order to achieve anything. There will be no return if you do not invest. What has not been created cannot be destroyed. What has not been born cannot die. Warning against laziness, procrastination, and sloth. That which was inquired about will not happen because of what was not done. A warning that you need to work and prepare for the future in order to have success.
Π - Pi
"Completing many contests, you will seize the crown"
Alt: Passing many tests, you’ll win the crown.
Interpretations: If you persist in your struggles, after many trials you will succeed. Perseverance through adversity. Keep striving and victory will come. After much competition, you will emerge the winner. Don't give up, face adversity! Persistence will give you your rewards, and do not be afraid to use your talents. Whatever rewards, station, acclaim, or prize you want, it will eventually be yours, but you have to keep fighting for it. Success may not be immediate, but a gradual process of refinement instead that leads to fulfillment of desires
Ρ - Rho
"You will go on more easily if you wait a short time"
Alt: Rest awhile; you’ll go more easily.
Interpretations: If you will hold your ground for only a short time, you will be able to proceed (more easily or with greater cooperation). You’ll live more easily if you take a break. You will go faster by waiting than by going now; on the other hand, delaying too long may provoke reckless action. By standing fast you live recklessly. By remaining where you are, you live life thoughtlessly.
Σ - Sigma
"Phoibos [Apollo] speaks plainly, 'Stay, friend.'"
Alt: “Stay, friend,” Apollo plainly says.
Interpretations: Neither advance nor retreat; wait or hold your ground, as appropriate; the best action is inaction. Don’t travel. Stay firm; don’t let yourself be swayed. The gods want to inform you to wait for more information before you make any decisions. In this time, relax, and let the signs come to you. Things will resolve on their own or get to a point where it is better to act than now. Respond only when it is appropriate to do so, which is not now.
Τ - Tau
"You will have release from the present circumstances."
Alt: Take release from present circumstance.
Interpretations: Your misfortune will come to an end. You will be given a way out of present circumstances. You are between a rock and a hard place, but you will get out. All your mishaps will come to an end. Leave present events behind. If you have been having good luck, that too may be departing.
[O?] "You will have a parting from the companions now around you."
Alt: There will be a departure from the companions now around you.
Interpretations: You will be separated from some of the people in your life. This may be an unwelcome parting from friends or a welcome release from enemies; in either case they are now around you. This may also mean a growing apart or forced separation of a person from his or her family, peers or fellow travelers on the path. Soon, people in your life might not stay the way they are. You might grow apart or distance or travel might force you away. Be wary of this, and act accordingly. Consider that 'companions' could also be interpreted as personifications (e.g. in the way Love and Strife are personified) so it could mean a change of circumstances. The people, resources, and situations you’re with now are not what you’ll always be with.
Y - Upsilon
"This wedding is not yours; do not labor in vain"
Alt: Useless toil: this wedding isn’t yours!
Interpretations: The person whom you are trying to woo will not be yours. This romance or relationship will not be permanent. Give it up. Be sensible. You have not made a good choice of someone to pursue. Do not pretend that you are interested in marriage. Don’t pursue the partnership (of any kind); you are wasting your time. The Oracle advises you to abandon some alliance or union that you have been pursuing.
[O] "The affair holds a noble undertaking."
Alt: Undertaking fine is held by deed
Interpretations: There is some issue to be resolved, or some action is under consideration; it involves high-mindedness, either in commitment, deed, or professional pursuit. The oracle may tell us that the affair is admirable due to this noble element, or that the situation may guide us to seek the appropriate noble undertaking or profession. The hero’s quest. On the other hand, the oracle may mean that the situation hinders this fine undertaking. Thus you should try to understand the situation: does it demand an excellent undertaking or impede it? Take the high road.
Φ - Phi
"Plant! For Deo will nourish everything beautifully."
Alt: Forthwith plant! For Deo fosters well.
Interpretations: Plant your crops or vegetable garden, and Demeter will make them grow well. Start your project, for the goddess will bring it to fruition. She will care for it, and it will come out very well. Plant your seeds (of any sort), and the goddess will help you to cultivate them productively.
[O] "Having done something carelessly, you will thereafter blame the gods."
Alt: Faultily you act, and blame the gods.
Interpretations: Take responsibility for your actions (or inactions); don’t blame the gods (or the universe, or fate, or society, or nature) for your own failings, for your thoughtless or careless actions. Something is going wrong, and you may be trying to blame other things than the cause of the problem. Don’t resort to pointing fingers. The Gods will help you if you do not take out your anger on them or others needlessly.
Χ - Khi
"Rejoicing, press on!’ Zeus himself says this."
Alt: "Happily press on!" says Zeus himself
Interpretations: Charge ahead! Keep working with joy in your heart. Zeus urges you forward, even commands you! Act with the confidence that you will fare well and be safe. With joy, hasten the matter or yourself forward. Lean hard on it, but stay happy.
[O] "Succeeding, wanderer, you will fulfill this golden oracle."
Alt: Happy end fulfills this golden word.
Interpretations: “Golden” may be a metaphor for rich, noble, excellent, etc. This admirable oracle will be fulfilled by you attaining your ends, or a mere chance meeting could constitute the golden event. Rejoice, you will succeed! Luck is on your side, and by mere chance, things might fall into place. The answer is positive, and you might be pleasantly surprised at all the riches that the world gives you in addition to your solution. A favorable result is indicated - but even more subtle success is at hand.
Ψ - Psi
"You have this righteous judgment from the gods."
Alt: Proper is this judgment from the gods.
Interpretations: This oracle refers to collective judgment rather than individual judgment. This implies that the majority of the gods concur in this judgment, and that this judgment is appropriate, fair, and righteous, though there is no implication that the result is that desired by the querent. Accept it and move on. Truth will be brought forwards, so be careful in your actions. The Gods are watching, and they will be fair, honest, and unforgiving to those who deserve it. This includes those who might be harming you, as well.
Ω - Omega
"If you take unripe fruit, it won’t be useful."
Alt: Otiose the fruit that’s plucked unripe.
Interpretations: If you pick your fruit too soon, you will have a bad harvest. More abstractly, too early grasping of the fruits of your labor (whether the taking is voluntary or necessary) will yield a poor return; the rewards will not be suitable for their purpose. Don’t be impatient, or the results will be inferior. Don't act rashly or hastily. Don't jump the gun. The time is not yet right to take advantage of the matter. Taking action now will lead to uselessness, worthlessness, and difficulty. At best, this letter indicated to just stay on the course and wait for the matter to develop further before inquiring again.
We're at the end now! (Phew!) I might make a google doc with the alphabet - maybe even make it so you can suggest your own interpretations or even alternative phrases for some of the more difficult ones. In the meantime I hope this has been helpful!
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grandsouldream · 2 years
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Readings for 31 December
31/12/2022
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wandawxdow · 7 months
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Masters of the Air fic recs
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(*) = includes smut
gale ‘buck’ clevens x john ‘bucky’ egan
in london / on leave
bomber’s moon by moonrocks
in london, secret & established relationship, (*)
level-off manoeuvres by wormringers
together in london, (*)
dallas girls by hcneymooners
london, fluff and dash of angst
hurt/comfort & angst
good men die too / oh i’d rather be with you by moonrocks
grief/mourning, first kiss, injured!bucky
falling apart by cloudystars
post-mission hurt/comfort
Whatever Happens Tomorrow, We Had Today by MaShEd_Potat_os
angst, love confessions
a good dream by lilium
hurt/comfort, protective bf, 1x04 au
dear john by ForASecondThereWedWon
angst, love letters, 1x04, (*)
you’ll never be alone (i’ll be there for you) by tearsricochets
first kiss, pining, emotional hurt/comfort, 1x01-1x02
make you feel alive by signifier
emotional hurt/comfort, happy ending, presumed dead
it had to be you by MaShEd_Potat_os
post-war, angst with a happy ending, insecure!bucky
Another First by JoeyAlohaDream
(mild * mention), hurt!buck
stalag / imprisoned
greyspace by cloudystars
sick!bucky, protective!buck, hurt/comfort
night terrors by cloudystars
trauma, nightmares, hurt/comfort
I’ll Get By (As Long As I Have You) by JediRobertHogan
hurt/comfort, reunited
whatever you want me to do (i will do) by tkachukypls
angst, unrequited love, 1x07
scars by cloudystars
protective!bucky, fights, 1x07
You Put Your Arms Around Me (And I’m Home) by johnslittlespoon
fluff, sharing a bed, 1x07
Full Count by madeitsimple
angst and (*), 1x07-1x08, fights
judgement by the hounds by anonymous
1x08, hurt/comfort, fights, sharing a bed
Whatever you want me to do, I will do by Anonymous
john brady!centric, protective!buck & bucky
rainfall by switchgrassdevil
sick!buck, hurt/comfort, sharing a bed
I Won’t Rot by GrayFingers
hurt!bucky, protective!buck, injuries
Fluff + AUs
back home where you’re safe from, that’s the measure of a man by wolfhalls
established relationship, learning to dance, (*)
Reverie by Avonne
soulmate au (*)
the secret list of very serious (and sober) 100th’s rules by Amethyste_Blanche
fluff
Look The Other Way by Disastrous_Canasta
first meeting, fluff
all roads lead home by cloudystars
biker!au and abo!au, modern universe
A Kiss With A Fist by perpetualmotion
buck defends bucky’s honour
Love Tokens by perpetualmotion
gift giving
moonlight serenade by puffanities
abo!au, omega!bucky, alpha!buck, ongoing series
You and Me (5 Times) by stopstopstopit
various jokes about buck & bucky being married
any day now by tkachukypls
gift giving, bucky gives buck a puppy
Garden in My Heart by 13SapphireStars13
abo!au, omega!bucky, alpha!buck, courting
Smut - no Plot
A Suite at the Ritz by stillheremydear
secret relationship & sneaking around (*)
buck x bucky x curtis fics
I’ll be looking at the moon (but i’ll be seeing you) by moonrocks
1x03, grief/mourning
different but equal by Ikharys
fluff, pre-relationship, sharing beds
my hand was the one you reached for (all throughout the great war) by RavenOfRao
fluff, pre-relationship
A Brief Moment of Mourning by Perpetual Motion
angst, emotional hurt/comfort
First Meetings (and Punishments) by scaraheather
first meetings, pre-relationship
Both (*) by Ikharys
fluff and smut, sharing a bed
each man has got his classification (*) by mpix
smut, jealousy
Out of Reach by studies in subjunctive
unrequited love, (*)
The Long Way Home by livelaughlove_write
post-war, ptsd, love confession
x reader recs
jealous!buck request by @sansaorgana
jealous!buck request (2) by ↑
to the rescue (curtis biddick) by @sagesolsticewrites
with all my gratitude, hope and adoration, john (2) (3) by @buckysegan
twenty five (to life) by MissFreakingFortune
blurb (bucky egan) by @swiftiekisses
Hitchin’ A Ride by @pisupsala
girl dad!gale request by @sansaorgana
Because the Night by @gloryofroses19
Birdie by @jointherebellion215
amor aeternus series by @saturnville
agape (wattpad) by perxwxnkle
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saturnville · 7 months
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amor aeternus, major john egan
origin: latin. pronunciation: uh-mor eh-ter-nos. meaning: everlasting love
pairing: major john "bucky" egan x amelia mae
content: this serves as the masterlist for Major John "Bucky" Egan of the 2024 Apple TV show, Masters of the Air, and black!fem!oc, Amelia Mae. please be advised that all works are works of fiction. find all related works below the cut.
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sweet goodbyes. in which John is being shipped to England; his departure comes with sweet goodbyes.
home to you. John returns after spending time away in the war.
can I call you rose? a flashback to one of the first interactions of John and Amelia.
stolent moments. John manages to call Amelia after not hearing her voice for weeks.
dancing with a stranger. an alternative meeting between John and Amelia Mae.
marry me. in which John proposes to Amelia Mae.
sad girl. in the beginning stages of their relationship, Amelia finds herself questioning John and the nature of their relationship.
torture. John is interrogated in Germany.
and I drove you crazy. John is serious about Amelia and plans to prove it to her. part 2 to sad girl.
let me love you. intimate moments between John and Amelia. 18+ steam.
promise of love. in which John meets Amelia's parents.
from me to you. John receives a letter from Amelia while being held as a POW in Germany.
a different era. amelia and john experience a different era of their lives
a small favor.
matriarch. it's her first mother's day.
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princessbrunette · 11 months
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i need a longer blurb of jj teaching reader how to smoke 🙏🏻 possible shotgunning
i was hoping someone would ask teehee ♡
suggestive themes down below, mentions of weed etc
jj cringes at himself as he taps the cracked screen of his iphone, hitting play on the spotify playlist titled simply with the leaf emoji — a subtle and yet juvenile nod to it being his smoking playlist. what kind of nerd actually has a playlist made and ready to hit play when hanging out with a pretty girl, he thinks — cheeks a little red under the dim light. his shitty speaker hiccups and splutters before playing the music smoothly, just as he comes to drop down beside you on the comfy old couch.
“anyway, fuck uh— i don’t remember. it doesn’t matter.” he waves a hand, pushing his heels into the ground to lift up his hips so he can pull the rolled J out his back pocket.
“your concentration is terrible.” you tease with a giggle, legs tucked beneath you. he recalls you looking particularly adorable in that moment, and his brain malfunctions for a second as he looks at you before he forces out a response.
“uh… yeah — i got that letter thing.”
“adhd?”
“thats the one.” he presses his fingers tightly around the compact J before patting his front pockets for a lighter. “you smoke?”
it was the first time you’d had the privilege of hanging out with just JJ alone. you were sarah’s friend, and had tagged along with her to a few pogue hangouts when she’d started dating john b. you all seemed to get on well as a group, and you were pretty meek and shy most of the time — which they found pretty endearing, so they kept you around. you were harmless, and brought an oddly charming sense of innocence to their reckless and vulgar world. you’d started harbouring a little crush on JJ since you’d met, all smiles and doe eyes whenever he was up to his usual nonsense. he was loud and untameable, but always made an effort to behave around you. the special attention made you melt.
“JJ you’re yelling.” pope would accuse and the blonde would hold his hands up.
“sorry.” he’d apologise before turning specifically to you. “sorry. those pretty ears. shouldn’t be hearing that.” he waves it off and continues with whatever rant he was on, but your smile doesn’t go away for like 2 minutes.
his effort didn’t go unnoticed by the pogues, and since you weren’t technically a pogue yourself — and it wouldn’t be breaking any pogue rules, john b and sarah specifically had encouraged the two of you to hang out alone, leaving JJ the keys to the chateau. it made total sense to them, john b desperately wanted jj to be happy (and to get some, from a nice girl.) and sarah was enthralled by the idea of double dates based off ideas she’d tucked into a pinterest board. whilst the blonde was infamous for making bad decisions, he wouldn’t let turning down alone time with a pretty girl be another on his extensive track record.
you eye him where he sits beside you on the small cushy couch, shifting a little — springs clinking beneath you suggesting it may have been a pull out bed. “i’ve never… i haven’t done it before.” you shrug, embarrassed. you envied the pogues in that way, whilst you’d been sheltered your whole life up into adulthood, they’d been able to explore themselves and figure out what they like.
his eyes widen a little and his mouth forms a surprised little ‘o’ shape, before nodding quickly and stuffing the J back into his pocket.
“what are you doing?” your brows furrow.
“don’t wanna make you feel weird, if i smoke ‘n stuff.” he waves a hand dismissively and you shake your head with wide eyes, sitting up a little in your seat.
“oh, no i don’t mind! don’t let me stop you.” you smile as reassuringly as you can. he looks at you for a moment, fixing his hat on his head before pausing a little and turning more toward you.
“totally shoot me down if you don’t wanna but…” he pulls the J back out, slowly and cautiously like it’ll scare you if he moves too fast. “you down to learn? heard i’m quite the teacher.” he smirks, but there’s a friendly twinkle behind his eyes that just makes him so approachable and non-intimidating that you feel completely safe.
“m’kay, yeah, i’ve always wanted to know what it feels like.” your voice is soft behind your wide smile and he wants to slap himself for staring at you for so long.
“alright, that’s the spirit.” he mirrors your grin, tossing his lighter in the air and catching it.
“i didn’t know smoking was something that needed to be taught.” you comment, shuffling a little downward so you can lean against the couch more— getting as comfortable as you can in your sweet little sundress. you were sat so close now you could feel his body heat radiating onto you, and it was doing something crazy to your stomach. that, and the way he looked, manspreading casually on the couch, white tee and black sweatpants, frowning in concentration as he presses the joint between his lips, holding a flame to the end of it until it glows and then shaking out the flame.
registering your words, he sends you a little face of mock offence that makes you giggle. he inhales deep and holds the smoke in his lungs, voice strained when he responds. “nah, this shit is an art form. ‘course it can be taught.” exhale. you find you’re holding your breath too.
“yeah this’ll be good for your first time, asked my guy for somethin’ weaker cos’ i didn’t want you to think i was bein’ a weirdo or whatever, smoking you out with the strong stuff so i can be creepy. i know some guys do that.” he rambles before taking another shorter toke, brows creased as he concentrates on his mini review.
“you bought weed especially for hanging out with me?” you smile kindly and he gapes for a millisecond, holding the J between his fingers and he blinks, caught out.
“yeah.” he shrugs. “s’like buying you flowers. but better.” he shuffles closer to you on the seat. before you have time to overthink the flowers comment, he’s carefully holding the joint to your lips, his own eyes wide and already a little glossy.
“i’m nervous.” you giggle, briefly holding his hovering wrist to stabilise you both.
“hey, you’re in good hands i swear, i’ll look after you.” he promises, free hand cupping your cheek with a teasing but far from unkind expression. “you’re my little baby tonight.” it was made to be a joke but your stomach does a little somersault.
“‘kay.” your lips brush the tip of the J and he has to force himself not to think something inappropriate.
“what i want you to do is breathe in and then hold it, ‘kay?” he instructs and you do so, eyes looking to him for guidance. it burns and tickles your throat at the same time but it’s not awful, you don’t even cough. maybe this is rare, because he grins when you squint— holding it in your chest. “atta girl! see, you’re born for this. breathe out for me.” his voice is closer, and therefore quieter, more intimate. you’re a lightweight by nature, so by your second toke the delay starts to unwind and you start feeling a buzz.
sativa by jhené aiko starts to play through the cheap speaker by the time you’re really feeling it. he’s talking to you the whole time, talking you through it, praising you. your whole body feels hot and you revel in the euphoria of feeling so safe and comfortable in someone’s presence. you lean against his shoulder a little, giggling over a little anecdote he told you about his day with pope.
he’s grinning with pretty pink eyes, turning to look down at you, really look at you close up. his heart stammers because you’re so damn beautiful and he nearly chokes on smoke. that would have been embarrassing.
“you’re cute.” he lifts his cap for a second, running a hand through his hair and you tilt your head, joint still clasped between your fingers.
“really?”
“totally. i’d complain about anyone else getting lipgloss on the joint, but you’re cute so you’re allowed.” he jokes and you’re off again, leaning more into him as you chortle. his arm wraps around your shoulders, pulling you closer until your head rests against him. he looks down at you, a warm smile bordering on chuckle spreading across his face at the way you’re gazing up at him like he hung the moon and stars for you. “y’wanna learn something else?” he offers and you’re slow, but eager— eyes widening hazily and nodding clumsily.
“alright. y’trust me, yeah?” he adjusts his position a little.
“mhm, yeah i do JJ.” you’re all dazed and openly crushing. he seems pretty into it and you’re glad, because someone a little meaner might find it pathetic.
he takes your hand holding the joint and brings your fingers that clasp it to his lips, where he then takes a hit. his palms encase your jaw, pulling your face to his. he pulls ever so slightly, so your mouth gapes before he’s breathing the smoke slowly into your mouth. your heart hammers, and your hands are frozen but you get the hint and inhale, feeling the second hand burn. you open your eyes, not remembering having closed them and he’s staring at you— and you don’t get the chance to pull away because he’s closing the gap again and pressing his lips fully to yours.
you let out a quiet moan at the surprise, the sound from your throat a lot more vulgar than intended and he pulls back after a moment, eyes flickering between yours.
“sorry.”
“dont be. i wanna do it again. can we?”
“the smoking thing or the…” he trails off as you lean in slowly, a curious and sweet expression tainted with a glossy haze of intoxication and lust. you’d never been like this before with anyone, hell— you’d never felt like this.
you press your lips to his, kissing him simply before pulling back. your brows pinch together and be bites back a smile, thumbing at your cheekbone.
“wh’sthe matter?” he whispers.
“there’s more you need to teach me.” you bat your eyelashes at him and he feels himself wake up from the waist down, subtly adjusting himself.
“well we got all night.” he teases before leaning in, this time his mouth taking the lead. the joint is put out and forgotten about as he presses an open mouthed kiss to your swollen lips. “didn’t i say i was a good teacher?”
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Text
Until you come back home
John Egan X Reader
Summary: The many letters Y/n sent to her boyfriend.
Warning: Historical inaccuracies/ going crazy/ obsessive behavior/ use of Y/n/ Swearing.
Word count: 800 words
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8 months, 2 weeks and 4 days, that was the last time they saw each other. Before he went on this mission and got captured. Y/n was losing her mind, she needed him. Harry Crosby was trying to cheer her up, but the only thing she did was write letters for him. ‘’Are you going to send them to him?’’ he asked as he sat next to her. ‘’There’s so many, where can I start?’’ she whispers. ‘’You can’t keep sitting in those 4 walls forever. You can’t keep hoping he’s going to call’’ Harry Crosby says. She looked at him, she heard him, but she wasn’t going to listen. ‘’The wait is just cruel, I can’t keep living like this, it’s torture’’ she mumbled. ‘’Let’s send him the letters, it might cheer him up’’ he said. She nodded and started to date the letters.
‘’Mail! Cleven, Hamilton and, holy shit there’s a lot for you Egan’’ the mailmen said, handing the letters to the men. Bucky took the pile of letters and put them on the table. He looked at who sent them, it was all Y/n. He opened the first one.
Dear Bucky,
I hope you’re alive, I know you are, I feel it. I feel crazy without you, I’m up all night and every day thinking about you. I hope you can write to me, because not getting news from you is torture. I don’t understand what’s happening to me. Love, Y/n.
He didn’t believe what he was reading, he thought she wasn’t going to wrote to him. ‘’Who the hell wrote to you that much?’’ Buck chuckled. ‘’Y/n, she wrote all of them’’ he said. Bucky opened another one.
My love, I don’t want to live forever, I can’t live without you, I’m trying to hold on. I’m driving the girls crazy; I’m calling out your name all the time. Bucky, Bucky, Bucky. I’m going to keep calling your name until you come back home. Y/n.
He looked around the room, his girl was going crazy, just like him. He wished he could write to her, but the Germans wouldn’t let him.
Bucky, did I lose you? Did I lose the love of my life? I keep getting up, calling your name all the time. I just want you to come back home. I’m barely eating, I can’t sleep. I’m going crazy without you. Croz took me out in London, he took me to my favorite restaurant, he thought that was going to cheer me up. It didn’t, I was looking sad in the nicest places in the city. I need to see you. I love you, yours Y/n.
He didn’t know how much letters he read in the last hour; she wrote a lot of them. Always saying the same time. She missed him, she needed him, she didn’t want to live forever, she didn’t want to live if life wasn’t with him. He didn’t know how much tears he shed reading this. He missed her so much; it pained him so much not being able to write back to her. He wanted to send letters, so many letters. He wanted to tell her so much, how he missed her, how he wanted to kiss her, how he wanted to hug her. He opened the last letter, afraid of what he was going to read.
Dear Bucky,
I’m sorry for all these letters, it’s the only thing I’ve been doing. Croz told me to send them all. I miss you so much, as you probably noticed in the previous letters. If Buck is with you, say hi to him. I’m waiting for your return, because like I said. If life is not with you, it’s not worth living. I don’t wanna live forever, hoping for your return. But I’m going to wait for you, I’ll wait every second of every day. I love you, John Egan, don’t forget that. In the meantime, I’m just going to keep calling your name until you come back home. Yours, Y/n.
He turned the letter to see his name written all over the back of the letter, he prayed that Crosby was taking care of her. He decided to do the same thing, calling her name until he came back home. ‘’Y/n, Y/n, Y/n’’ he repeated himself. He didn’t want to disturb the guys.
‘’Bucky, Bucky, Bucky’’ ‘’Y/n, Y/n, Y/n’’ they both said, miles away from each other, but they called each other’s name, until he comes back home.
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mythos-writes · 1 year
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Hey I got a request for Tommy Shelby
So basically tommy is a Single dad to a two year old daughter 2 year old daughter
So basically tommy is at a family meeting and you was clingy all day so Tommy past you to Arthur to hold you while you slept and when u woke up you start to cry Tommy pick you up and Rock you back to sleep and all the family make fun of him for being soft
Hope that make sense
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Tommy Shelby x Daughter Reader
Word Count: 765
Warning: swearing, fussy toddler
Peaky Blinders Masterlist
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Tommy still remembers the day his daughter (Y/N) came into his life. She showed up on the doorstep of Watery Lane with nothing but herself bundled up in a bassinet and a letter. A girl Tommy had a fling with ended up pregnant and didn't want to give it up. So she left it on his doorstep, leaving him with their outcome.
If Tommy had opened the door, she might have ended up at the orphanage, but lucky for her, Polly found her first. Tommy was out doing business in London and Polly was looking after Finn. As it was late at night, Polly was the only one up to hear the knocks on the door. She was greeted by the small bassinet and a sleeping baby inside, covered by a small knitted blanket. She looked up and down the Lane, but no one was in sight. Polly took her in that night. Giving the baby a bath and changing her into some of Finn's baby clothes. When she went to reach for the blanket that the baby came with, a note fell out of the wool blanket. Polly read the note and was shocked, but not surprised, at the content of the note.
When the boys arrived back, they were relatively surprised at this new addition to the family. She walked up to Tommy and handed him the letter. His eyes quickly skimmed over the words telling him the weight he was simply handed. He looked at the little girl in his aunt’s hands. He first wanted her gone, not wanting to bring an innocent child into this life. It was his way of controlling something that he couldn’t control.
Two years later, things had changed. The business and the family have grown and changed, and the young Shelby's children are growing up. Finn is 10, while young (Y/N) is 2. She had become the light in Tommy’s life. When he comes home from a long day at work or a meeting with other gangs, her hugs release his stress or anger. She is also a good distraction when it comes to family meetings. 
Tommy had called a family meeting to discuss some upcoming expansions and see where the family was standing with their parts of the business. The two of them had a rough night before, (Y/N) running a fever and unable to sleep. Which meant Tommy not sleeping. Their morning consisted of little food, minus the bottle she still would take in the morning, and many micro naps between the two Shelby’s. But with the little energy that they both had, they both showed up to the meeting at Waterly Lane. 
“Tommy. Why did you bring (Y/N/N) here? Usually, you leave her with Finn?” Arthur confronts. He is never opposed to seeing his niece, but when it came to these meetings, there was no place for a small innocent lady like his niece. Tommy quickly shushes his brother. 
“Arthur, you wake her up you’ll be floating down the crick,” Tommy threatens in a whisper. He passes his sleeping toddler to her uncle, giving him a small break, knowing how she’ll be when she wakes up from this nap.
“We had a rough night,” is all Tommy said before he quickly moved on to the family meeting that was at hand. But because they’re the Shelby’s, the meeting doesn’t stay quiet for long. 
Tommy yells. In the quietness of the room, it broke by the wines and whimpers of the once-sleeping toddler. Tommy turned to Arthur, seeing his daughter beginning to wake up. 
“Daddy,” she cries. Tommy quickly took her out of Arthur’s hands and pulled her in close. 
“It is ok sweety, daddy is here,” he whispers, trying to calm down his daughter. With his soft rocking, (Y/N) quickly fell back asleep. 
“When did Thomas Shelby become soft,” John joked, nudging Arthur. They giggled to themselves before seeing the look that Tommy was sending them. It was Polly and Ada’s turn to laugh. 
“Just because he is showing his soft side right now, doesn’t mean he won’t put you in your grave himself,” Polly defends her nephew. “John you should take some notes,” she jabs at her other nephew.  John rolls his eyes before lighting a cigar. 
Tommy looked down at his sleeping daughter and felt his ice heart melt a little more. The sounds of the tunnels are mere whispers in his head. Tommy knew he wasn’t a good man, but to (Y/N), he was her everything. 
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