#Fond of my sad android <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[cryptidcalling]

Started making a really long post and got tired of it halfway through, which tells me ppl DEFINITELY would’ve got tired of reading it, so I’m trying again but shorter.

Pre Bug-Hunt Elio’s detail oriented nature was a quirk more than anything. He liked to clean, liked to organize data and run statistical programs. One of the few things his human coworkers liked about him was that he could always mix a drink perfectly right every time. He even would’ve been a good baker if they’d ever had the supplies for it. To him, disorganization and impracticality were annoying but ultimately harmless human quirks.

Post Bug-Hunt Elio still has all those traits, but his need for everything to be clean and organized has gotten more intense. Thankfully he works in a laboratory so it’s very easy for his coworkers to justify. But I think it’s developed into a coping mechanism for Elio to feel in control of his life by controlling his environment. He has more control of his life than he ever used to, but he’s also more afraid of losing that control because he’s terrified of being “discovered” as a malfunctioning, dangerous android. He can’t undo what happened during Bug Hunt and he can’t get rid of these feelings he’s having, but he can make sure every piece of equipment is properly put away and everything in the lab is sterilized after all the humans go home.

I think a little part of it too is that his ego’s been bruised. Before BH he was very confident that he was smarter and more rational than humans. Now he experiences irrational reactions to things and worries about things that are extremely logically improbable. He’s a fuck up. He’s a broken Android. It comforts him to try and make everything around him fit into place, because he feels like he doesn’t belong.

[saythatuwill]

Helllllo! I'm here again! Asking about The Android Playlists!

I wanna know about Abstract (Psychopomp) on the Vessel!android list

(I'm tottaaally not looking for a song for that fic, no that's nots what's happening)

and

Telomeres on the Noah!android list!

<3 @lyricallymelodic

OUGHHHH MY BELOVED FRIEND... i'm always happy to share! if this is a song you're considering for the fic, what a GOOD CHOICE. shall we?

if the format isn't the same as the last analysis please forgive me i'm experimenting. and writing this on my phone because walks help me think.

i have a mouthful to say abt "abstract (psychopomp)" so we'll under the cut it.

update (a WHOLE HOUR LATER): i might actually have to do a SEPARATE POST for android!noah because of how long this explanation is. i locked the fuck in for you my friend.

obligatory delta tag!!! @astronoids

ANDROID!VESSEL — ABSTRACT (PSYCHOPOMP) // HOZIER

this song was one of my more creative choices i'd say. i was hoping someone would ask about it!

Sometimes it returns like rain that you slept through

That washed off the world, the streets looking brand new

I will not be great, but I'm grateful to get through

The feeling came late, I'm still glad I met you

so, what is "it"? in the context of android!vessel, it's a particular memory. how that memory can come back, even if current events or Other Memories cast a shadow over it.

in this case? the memory is of sleep, specifically the day you and the force came to rescue him and the other androids. the regrets he has about his time in the cult and way he literally nearly attacked you that day. and how it took him a long time to realize that he could trust you and meant you no harm. that his time with sleep was not positive. but despite the trauma, ultimately it was what led you to him. despite everything, he's still glad he met you.

The memory hurts, but does me no harm

Your hand in my pocket to keep us both warm

The poor thing in the road, its eye still glistening

The cold wet of your nose, the earth from a distance

it's a painful trauma that haunts him, but ultimately those experiences will never happen again. and you're there, with him.

now, here comes vessel's internal conflict. we have to remember how heavily vessel was manipulated during his time with sleep. he KNOWS the memories are not fond or good, but in his mind, it still distorts itself.

so in the second half, the "you" is not you. it's sleep. sleep is the poor thing in the road, he is recounting that very same day he met you. except he's seeing sleep as some "poor creature" that maybe he damaged.

(wait, sherry! isn't that kind of hypocritical of vessel?) sure! but let's not forget what vessel is; a victim. i actually pull his mentality from personal experience. i want to take a second to properly unpack that.

vessel has no recollection of his life as an android before sleep. and sleep essentially gaslit and manipulated him into thinking he was a freaky android deity. any time vessel strayed from that path, sleep would remind him; "hey! behave yourself! no one else is going to love you or want you except for me. and me? i'm so good to you!"

that's conditioning vessel to believe that what sleep did to him was love. so in a sad way, he kind of just began to feel grateful and happy for it. it took him time to realize that was never love, and now he has you (who is a very healthy partner).

but sometimes, in intense or particularly lonely situations, at least in my experience? i find myself trying to convince myself that it wasn't that bad. i'm just dramatic, i should've been more grateful. minor good memories feel like proof that the abuse wasn't that bad. and unfortunately, that can cause doubt, or maybe make you question if YOU were the real problem.

vessel misses sleep, but not sleep themselves. the idea of sleep. does that make sense? whatever he was manipulated into thinking sleep was, he misses that sleep. but in the same breath it's not like he wants to go back.

tl;dr : he kinda gets in his own head. convinces himself at times that maybe sleep was the victim and not him.

Sometimes there's a thought, like you choose what you're doing

But it comes to naught when I look back through it

I remember the view, street lights in the dark blue

The moment I knew I'd no choice but to love you

first two lines; that's actually about you during that same memory. initially he believed that you chose to take time of your day to save him and the others, that you were just sorta doing your job. when he looks through it knowing you now, he knows that really, you're selfless and considerate. even if being that way could've killed you.

second two: i think this could be about sleep or you. if it's sleep, it's literally about how vessel eventually realized he was trapped and LITERALLY HAD NO CHOICE but to love sleep. if it's you, it's a flash forward to the day he realizes he's in love with you. he tried to avoid those feelings for so long, but they won't go away. his mind and his "heart" have already decided.

The speed that you moved, the screech of the cars

The creature still moving, that slowed in your arms

The fear in its eyes gone out in an instant

Your tear caught the light, the earth from a distance

okay so this is also vaguely a double meaning.

meaning one: vessel recounts witnessing you on that day, trying to save... well, here's your first lore piece about you in this au!

sleep had ended up grabbing your partner at the time (both romantic and your partner at work), it was an effort to get you to back off. and in fear for their life, you were ready to back off. you had backup swarming the manor anyway, that sleep didn't even know about. you agreed to back off, and asked them to return your partner to you.

sleep fatally wounds your partner and drops them on the ground before taking off. your partner dies in your arms. fueled by heartbreak and rage, you immediately sent backup in and put everything into rescuing as many androids as you could.

you were selfless and compassionate. but also reckless, fueled by your grief and the shock you were experiencing. vessel saw all of this. from the top of the staircase, he watched it. that was the first seed of doubt about sleep, but he wouldn't process it for a long time.

meaning two: vessel is referring to himself as "the creature". mainly, him when infected by the virus and him just generally not being trusting, as well as afraid of you.

your willingness to protect him from M.I.N.D literally killing him and scrapping him for parts. and the part about him still moving, slow in your arms?

it's a more recent recollection of you literally holding him. he doesn't pull away, he doesn't stiffen the way he usually does. the fear in his eyes going out in an instant is him finally not being afraid of you anymore.

the tear in your eyes isn't one of grief or sadness, that's a tear of joy.

Darling, there's a part of me I'm afraid will always be

Trapped within an abstract from a moment of my life

The weeds up through the concrete, the traffic picking up speed

All my love and terror balanced there between those eyes

he's talking to you. he's admitting the war he wages in his mind between his love and trust in you, and the memories that make him question if sleep was the real victim and missing the idea of sleep.

he's admitting to you that he's afraid that those memories, those feelings, that trauma, will never go away.

"those eyes" are his eyes. his love for you and his fear of the past, even the future at times (of somehow going through the same pain again), it'll always be there.

See how it shines

See how it shines

he wants you to look into his eyes, see it. see him. for who and what he is, for who he was then and who he is now. he wants you to see his hurt, his anger, his sadness and fear, and love him anyway.

( of course you do. )

[cretaceos]

surprised pikachu... in response to my alien post... lmaooo i kid i am very excited for any fic that you put out so i am also very much looking forward to your cowboy farmers au!!! but in the meantime... do you think you can share a little about the alien au!? like.. are landoscar crewmates on a ship and shit hits the fan? anything you're willing to share to sedate me in the time being!!!

sharing some paragraphs that i rlly liked writing <3 and yep, they are crewmates but oscar is a scientist and lando is basically a mechanic but you gotta see the whole thing to understand :crying:

—

Oscar fears Lando might’ve developed some kind of fondness towards him ever since they got each other off. It’s not supposed to mean for them, if anything it’s an act of sorrow. Locked together into a dark nothing, surrounded by an endless void, a place where even the slightest whisper becomes a deafening sound. He didn’t have the courage to face Lando again, and his rational thoughts would only take him further away.

Lando is—and always will be—more human-like than Oscar. His green eyes, washed by disturbing sadness, the way he speaks to androids, so polite towards machinery that can’t have feelings, his jokes that never reached Oscar’s ears. He’s the closest portrait of humanity in miles of dark matter. Oscar watched a dream of his, back when he was the only one awake and monitored Lando’s sleeping schedule. He had more nightmares than dreams, shaking inside his sleeping capsule, almost waking himself up. Oscar never saw those. He already felt like crossing a line when he clicked on the watching mode, projecting whatever Lando’s dreaming about on the main panel.

It was similar to watching a movie, but without a proper ending. Lando dreamed of home, and for him that would be earth. His dreams included a dog, some fictional farm with a wheat field, and a shadow waiting for him. Oscar wonders if he’s got someone on earth, even if it sounds impossible. They’ve been in space for far too long for anybody on earth to still be functioning.

Lando was already in the colony when Oscar came.

He was known as one of the youngest men to ever break the atmosphere and cut through the black veil of infinity. Oscar knew him by whispers, long before actually meeting Lando, before being casted as his companion in a mission, but not before the parasite.

Back on earth, Australia had a special program to send a crew to Ceres, which consisted in teaching a group of children up till the minimum age to depart. When time came, every student should choose an area to develop their knowledge, a vast number of options, Oscar could be whatever he wanted. And then, that gut wrecking feelings took over him as soon as he entered the science department. Boiling blood, ripping out his veins, hyperventilating even, that tingle right on his tongue. Fascination. In its pure form, shaking through Oscar’s ribs.

Could be the start of what would become his obsession towards greatness, a spark that soon starts a fire, the beginning. But Oscar only had the opportunity to prove himself of being qualified when the mission came up, when the world itself could be forever changed. It didn’t seem much of a problem to him, young and talented, three years being part of the colony, had Mark throwing his name into important conversations. Oscar was easily one of the first choices to be the lead of the exobiology information.

He already knew about the parasite and all the scrutinizing work surrounding it. A new life form. The greatness he’s searching desperately for, the peak of his interests, the purpose. It was a rather simple task, catch the parasite, and bring it back to the colony. Of course none of them expected it to die in high temperatures, or the fact that it’s unable to survive without a host.

Lando appeared out of the core of the colony, face dirty with grease used in the subterranean of the ship, that disturbed look in his eyes, gathering some incomprehensible passion for robots and apathy towards humans. He appeared. As if the universe made him from particles of oxygen in less than seconds. He volunteered to be the host.

[yurisorcerer]

I'm catching up on this again after falling off of it back when it was airing. To my genuine surprise, it's really recaptured my interest over these last two episodes, with episode 10 in particular being a real highlight not just of the show but of the season.

The directing on display here is really quite nice, both in the early part of the episode where we get to see Atri beat the absolute tar out of Yasuda, the villain of this arc (springing off of his appearance in episode 9 where he's just absolutely detestable; there's a lot to be said for good old-fashioned tension and release), to the flashback that makes up the bulk of the back half. I'm particularly fond of the animation adopting a soft, outline-less style when depicting Atri's former master Shiina being bullied, it lends an air of unreal tragedy to an already pretty sad scene and really recontextualizes a lot of Atri's actions elsewhere in the show. (Those who remember the "combat android" crack from, what, episode 3? May wince at it now.)

Now, this does seem to have the common problem of "the show's main plots really seem like they're basically resolved now, but there's still 3 episodes left, so what are we doing here?" but the series has definitely bought itself back a fair amount of my goodwill with these last two episodes and I'm interested to see how it chooses to close itself out.

[jacquelinemerritt]

Dragon Ball Z: Abridged Episode 51 Review

Originally posted August 5th, 2016

The actual “Perfect Guy” is the one who does the most good.

It is this episode wherein Cell finally transforms into Perfect Cell, his ultimate form and a true force for our heroes to reckon with, and as such, the title of the episode “The ‘Perfect’ Guy” would seem to be referring to his transformation.

It’s not.

Cell is every bit as much of a despicable villain in this episode as he has been for the entire season, and his transformation changes nothing about his personality, as the “perfect” version of Cell introduces himself no differently than his imperfect self: with a rousing musical number. No, the titular “perfect guy” in this episode is Krillin, and the entire episode is devoted to exploring how genuinely good of a person he is, even compared to our other heroes.

This exploration wouldn’t work without the many points at which they’ve setup Krillin’s character for this moment of strength across the season, either. Tien and Bulma laugh off Krillin’s decision to risk everything to protect Android 18 as a desperate ploy to get laid, but it’s already been established that Krillin isn’t attracted to 18 for superficial reasons; he loves her confidence and personality, and even when prodded by Master Roshi to objectify her, he refuses. There’s even a sad irony to his efforts here given his relationship with Maron at the beginning of season 3, as his efforts to do the right thing end up similarly disastrous for him here as they did then.

The focus of the episode doesn’t rest on Krillin alone, though. 18 herself is given time to shine on her own as she affirms her commitment to Android 16 and uses her last moment to tell her “compadre” to watch out for Krillin, as she knows that he’ll need protection from a fully powered Cell.

Within the episode’s story of Krillin and 18, there is but only one real flaw, and that is the decision to have both times Krillin stands in between Cell and 18 be added to the “Krillin Owned” count, which goes directly against the empathy the story is trying to build for Krillin (in addition to being cold and unfunny). The empathy that the continuation of that gag costs us is not worth the value of keeping the gag “consistent.”

Perhaps most interesting about “The ‘Perfect’ Guy” is how stark the contrast between Krillin’s story is with the story of any of the other characters. Piccolo, Tien, and Bulma all sit on the lookout placing bets on which one of their allies are going to screw up first, with both Piccolo and Bulma betting on Krillin. Even Tien refuses to defend Krillin when he finds out that he decided to save Android 18, deriding his decision as one made to simply get some “cyber-sex.”

They distance themselves from their own friend in this moment, and while they are right to be concerned about the fate of the world, the purpose of Krillin’s story seems to be to remind us of the high importance of a single person as well.

Rating: 5/5

If you enjoyed this review, consider supporting me on Patreon.

Stray Observations

Vegeta’s story, on the other hand, seems to be contrasting the extreme selfishness of Vegeta with the selflessness of Krillin, as Vegeta risks the entire world just so that he can have a challenging fight, where Krillin risks the world to save someone who means something to him.

This episode also opens with a rewrite of “Giant Woman” from Steven Universe, one of my favorite shows, and Goku’s plea of fatherly understanding and pride seems comparable to both the value Krillin places on another person, and Vegeta’s first time experience of being proud of someone other than himself.

I’m thinking about moving away from including my favorite quotes down here unless they’re really exceptional. Mostly because jotting down clever lines while I’m watching breaks the experience in ways I’m not too fond of.

[alma-amentet]

No one tagged me so here I am, as always!  😆 Though @sheirukitriesfandom   said “anyone else who wants”, well that’s me.

8 shows to get people to knpw me better. I’m not a show-watcher in general, now I don’t even watch movies that much... My ADHD-like traits and the lack of comfortable place make it hard.

But in not-so-distant past, before diving back into fantasy worlds, I was in animated shows fandoms. I was even an avid brony and attended bronycons with elaborate cosplays, can you believe it?

So well...

Some teen time-favorites that I enjoy rewatching:

1. Legend of Wiliam Tell, 90s teen fantasy TV series from New Zealand. It was aired on local TV in early 00s, and just the type of fantasy I needed. Back then I loved character and costume designs, the scenery.  

2. 10th Kingdom. I even wrote a fan-fiction - my own story about a wolf and a shepherdess set in that fairytale world. There was also a LARP event on 10th kingdom in my area, and I wanted to go, but couldn’t.

3. Gargoyles. Hell yeah, how I loved them... Words can’t describe.

 then some adult shows, for a change...

4. Carnivale. There was a time I loved retro aesthetic (any kind from 20s to 70s) and was really fond of old style travelling circus, freakshows, dark cabaret. So that was just my thing! Not really long, which is good. I still have it all on DVD, rewatched about 2 times

5. Westworld. Actually gave up after 3 seasons, but enjoyed them all. Androids and philosophic aspects of AI is another of my big interests: one of my favorite movies is Steven Spielberg’s AI, and I stepped one feet into Detroit fandom... So I just couldn’t miss it.

 ...and finally some of my former big cartoon fandom loves!

6. Steven Universe. The reason I’m Alma, actually (Almandine) - it hooked since then. Yes, I loved it way too much and drew some fanarts back then.

7. My Little Pony. G4, obviously. Though, as a 10-11 yo girl, back in 90s, I enjoyed G1 (2? the one that had girls, Megan and Molly, in it) on TV. And even wrote my very first pieces of fanfiction ever! Short silly tales about some characters I liked the most. We had an old typewriter at home (don’t know how it got there - probably dad brought it, he liked collecting weird stuff here and there), and I enjoyed typing them! So sad those papers are long lost...

Anyway. I told you back in 2016-19 I was an avid brony, did plenty of cosplays (beautiful fantasy-core humanizations) and attended cons. That was a thing, for sure 

(don’t know don’t care what’s on with G5 and the brony community now, have no time to check... will be selling off my comic books soon)

8. Transformers Prime. Watched it at work in 2016, while waiting for new seasons of SU and MLP, and suddenly found myfelf in TF fandom, though for a short while. I couldn’t comprehend G1 show, that felt super boring and shallow (sorry, if you like it - those are just my own feelings, and it was all not enough to watch more, dig deeper), but Prime has enough drama and character development for me to get hooked.

Arcee  🤩

RiD and Animated are also good, and I read some comic book series (Windblade and TAAO were super cool, but MTMTE complex and boring to me).

Obviously I came to that fandom for fembots, for some shiny metal boobs! But I’m not a fan of mecha in general (as well as ponies or whatever - what I love are storytelling and characters on the inside, not always visually. As for G4 MLP. I actually loved to reimagine them 100% humanized), I prefer beautiful human girls. That’s probably why I lost interest soon... 

[mnictasbcl]

Our own memories

Here is my next story for @connor-sent-by-cyberlife‘s #dbhcarolsandcircuits challenge, prompt DEC 3: Childhood memories.

Relationships: Connor & Hank Anderson

Characters: Connor, Hank Anderson

Tags: Swearing, Fluff and angst, Very light angst, Crying, Hugs, Misunderstandings

Summary: Connor wants to experience his first Christmas early. In November. Hank tries to help.

 Read it on AO3! Or, read below!

“What are some of your childhood memories of Christmas, Lieutenant?”

Hank blinked in surprise at Connor when he asked this. It had been a fairly slow day at the DPD, midway through November, so this came completely out of the blue.

“You mean, generally? Why, you thinking about the holidays?”

“Yes. Also, about the fact that I have technically had no childhood, like all adult androids, so I thought it would be smart to hear about yours and experience it through your memories.”

“Fuck. That’s sad.”

“Thank you.”

“Ugh, don’t pull this on me. You’re getting a childhood.”

“Hm? I… don’t follow.”

“Doesn’t matter how they built you. You’re young, not even a year old. You’re having your childhood now.”

“I’m working at a police station, Hank.”

“You know what I mean. You can experience your first Christmas like any kid. Granted you’re not a whining baby…”

Connor chuckled. “You’ve called me that once before, so that’s inaccurate.”

“You want me to help you with this or not?”

“Alright, sorry.”

“Yeah, whatever. Let’s finish this day of work and then it’s the weekend. I’ll show you a thing or two Christmas-sy.”

     Thus the day crawled on slower than ever for Connor. Constantly clock-watching, something he rarely did, he practically jumped out of his seat the second their shift ended.

“It’s time for my childhood, Hank.”

“Jesus! You came out of nowhere… Just give me a minute to finish this work.”

“Come on, Lieutenant. I want to experience my childhood.”

“Stop saying that. Sounds weird. Besides, you got the childish naggin’ down to the t.”

Connor frowned, but went quiet, sitting on the end of Hank’s desk and staring at him until he finished his work.

 His insistence didn’t stop once they reached the car. He flicked his coin between his hands with impatience as they hit red light after red light.

He opened his mouth—

Only for Hank to interrupt.

“If you say ‘are we there yet’…”

“I wasn’t.”

“Whatever. Just... put on some Christmas music. That can be part one of your weekend Christmas speed run.”

He turned on the speakers, flitting through the channels for something appropriate and eventually settled on the station playing the greatest Christmas hits.

“Aw, yeah, that’s a classic.” Hank drummed his fingers against the steering wheel as tinkling sounds played in the car.

“Was this a song you heard a lot as a child?”

“Yeah, I guess. The classics were always playing this time of the year. They’ve changed a bit over the years, but I always listen to the same selection of songs.”

“Doesn’t that get boring?”

“Hell no. It’s nostalgic. Sort’ve thing you do, is you play Christmas music on the TV or the speakers somewhere, whilst you’re decorating the house.”

“I see. That’s… interesting. I’d like to have such fond memories of something like that.”

“You will. Just give it time. Once you enjoy something, you’ll remember it the next year we do it.”

    Connor found that listening to music with Hank in the car was enjoyable, but what was better was arriving home after a long day of work to be greeted by an overexcitable Sumo.

“What’s next?”

“Getting up off the floor.”

“I’m still cuddling with Sumo.”

“Right. Just give me a minute to get inside, and I’ll think of something. Not much we can do with it being November right now but… you know we’ll do this all in December, right?”

“Oh. I wasn’t sure if you wanted to celebrate. I appreciate you letting me stay here, but I didn’t realise it was… permanent.”

“Oh.” Hank scratched the back of his head. “Uh, right. Sorry. I didn’t want to make you feel like you had to stay or anything.”

“No, Hank, that’s not—”

“It’s fine. I get it, I’m glad you want to experience Christmas with me now at least.”

“That isn’t—”

Hank shook his head. “Don’t worry. I’m just going to…” He jerked his thumb back at the room behind him, before quickly stepping inside and shutting the door.

Connor groaned, burying his face into Sumo’s fur.

“Your owner is so frustrating! He thinks I don’t want to stay here. Now he’s going to kick me out…”

Sumo threw him a look, turning back onto his front and shaking his head from side to side.

“Yes, he is. I only meant that I didn’t know if he wanted me to stay that long. Now he thinks I don’t want to be here.”

The big dog seemed to groan, flopping his head onto his paws and sighing.

“I don’t know what to do… I understood that emotions are unpredictable.”

He lay back against the wall and pondered over the situation. Was Hank sad, or mad? Or did he not care? Was he glad that Connor assumedly wouldn’t be staying? And were they still doing Christmas things? Big questions hung over his head, so deep in thought that he didn’t notice Hank coming back out of his room—

Until something was dropped on his lap.

“Take it now, I guess. I was saving it for December but…”

Connor looked down, seeing something red and glittering on his wrap. Upon closer inspection, he saw the gift tag peeking through, and realised it was a gift. For him.

“Hank, what is this?”

“Your Christmas present. Important part of Christmas, right?”

“It’s November.”

“Yeah, but if you’re leavin’, I want to make sure you get it.”

“I’m not leaving.”

“You just…”

He looked up, this time finally getting a good look at Hank’s face, and immediately he saw the hastily scrubbed tear tracks down his cheeks.

“I didn’t mean to upset you!”

“Oh, fuck, you can see that, huh? Should’ve thought. You with your supercomputer brain… Look, don’t think I’m not being supportive of your decisions. If you want to move out, go and live with your friends or somewhere else—that’s fine. Don’t let me sway your decisions.”

Connor held the gift back out to him.

“I’ll be here in December.”

“No, you don’t have to—”

“I’m not going, Hank. I thought you didn’t want me to stay here for that long.”

“What?”

“It was a misunderstanding. I… might have been thinking of that today. That maybe I’ve overstayed my presence here, but then I thought about the holidays and how I want to celebrate them with you and Sumo…”

“Oh. Look at us.” Hank laughed, crouching down to sit beside Connor. “We’re a right fuckin’ pair.”

“We are. I’m sorry for the distress.”

“Shut up. I overreacted.”

“Even so, it is… nice that you want me to stay that much.”

“Of course I fucking do! The company’s nice. We get along. You’re not so bad.”

“You’re not so bad yourself, Lieutenant.”

He sighed, looking down at the gift.

“If either of us gets a prize for most dramatic, its me. I wrapped this up five minutes ago to give to you now.”

Connor laughed. “I’m sorry. I thought you were brooding in there.”

“I was! I was brooding whilst wrapping your Christmas present a month early.”

“That’s some impressive brooding.”

“Yeah, whatever. You brooded out here with Sumo.”

“Didn’t.”

“You did. But it doesn’t matter. You realise I’d never kick you out?”

“Really?”

“course not. And anyway, hope you enjoyed your second part of the Christmas experience…”

“What?”

“Family feuding.”

Connor shook his head. “Thanks, but I’d rather not do that every year.”

“Oh, same. Unfortunately it happened pretty often in my Christmas childhood memories, but yours can be better.” He got up, patting Connor on the knee. “Now let’s get up off the floor and decorate the house.”

“November, Hank.”

“…do you want to decorate the house?”

“Okay.”

[pearl-tarotist]

Hi, may I be part of your game, please? Here's some stuff about me:

★ When I was little I had gems/jewels in a box, I liked to keep them because they were pretty. One day I did a necklace with them but it was asymmetrical lol

★ My comfort anime is Yuru Camp because all they do is go camping and being friendly.

★ My favorite movie is I Origins and it was the movie I was watching when I had my first kiss with my soon to be bf.

★ When I feel a bit sad, I think about Paranoid Android (? Like it just happens.

Thank you!

P.S.: I didn't watch GoT but I was fond of Margaery Tyrell somehow, her dresses were beautiful and overall her character was appealing to me. When Polyvore was still a thing, I did some collages inspired by the styles I saw from the series.

hii

I love how many things you put!!

The character: I am going to put you with Shireen, she was Stannis Baratheon's daughter, do not search how she died please. She is a young child, innocent, pure but really clever and loyal, fond of books and adventures. I think your aura/innocence reminds me of her. She was easy to love.

The house: Lannister, the fact that you like jewels so much makes me think that you could love the Lannister's money 😭😭.

The quote: "It's dangerous being free, but most come to like the taste of it".

<3.

[stardust-steel]

Vegeta scowled at the Cell Jr approaching them. “I don’t understand how you can allow yourself to live with these creatures. Eugh.”

17’s gaze sharpened. “His name is CJ1, not creature. They understand you, you know.”

Vegeta’s glare intensified. “I don’t care what they’re called, they’re an abomination.”

“They’re just kids.” 

“They were your enemy.” 

“They were from my enemy,” 17 corrected. “Also, that’s big talk for someone hanging around with theirs,” he couldn’t resist adding, gesturing to where Goku was.

“It’s not the same,” Vegeta defended. 

17’s jaw tightened a little. He wanted to argue, but he’d learnt by watching Goku that Vegeta reacted better through persuasion than coercion.

“CJs are blue,” 17 pointed out, wondering if the visual differences might help. “Cell was green.”

Vegeta gave him a look that told 17 exactly why everyone had been so terrified of him once. “I see being a cybernetic human hasn’t eroded you of the ability to state the obvious.

Well, that was rich coming from Vegeta, who was supposedly a genius among his kind but was completely blind to the way Goku looked at him, so. 17 shrugged.

He pointed out another difference. “They don’t have the stingers Cell does, so they can’t hurt you.”

“Please. They can’t hurt me even with the stingers,” Vegeta scoffed. 

“So they’re harmless, yes?”

“Harmless doesn’t mean innocent.”

“Innocence is overrated.” 17 said, and smiled when Vegeta acknowledged the point with a nod. “Those who look the most innocent tend to be the most wicked. Look at Marron.”

Vegeta snorted. “Look at Kakarot.”

They both looked. Goku was currently making silly faces at CJ5 , while Goten tried to sneak up behind him. His hair was lit in super saiyan gold, so the contrast of Super Saiyan brilliance against his increasingly comical expressions was jarring to watch.

“He is a curious one,” 17 allowed.

“Understatement of the century.”

Goku was now play-fighting both Goten and CJ5 off. “I thought he did it on purpose,” 17 mused. Vegeta raised one eyebrow. “The whole ‘keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer,’ that kind of thing.”

Vegeta actually chuckled out loud at that one. 17 mildly wondered  if he knew how much fondness had slipped in that laugh. “And now?”

“And now I know better. Goku doesn’t really think of things like that, it seems.”

“Hn.” Vegeta took a sip of his own drink in turn. “Kakarot can be manipulative in his own way, but his intentions are hardly, if ever, malicious.”

17 glanced at Vegeta, just in time to catch something in his eyes. That same look Eighteen had when she looked at Krillin.

Aha. So this thing 18 called heart-eyes was indeed two-way, not that 17 had ever doubted it. But evidence was required for any extrapolation of data. 

Vegeta turned his head and caught 17’s calculating expression, immediately turning on the defensive. “What?” 

17 raised an eyebrow. Where 18 might have said something to roast the prince, 17 chose to just go back to his beautiful cup of coffee. Silence was more powerful than words, sometimes. 

Vegeta looked utterly wrong-footed. 

-snippet from @kakavegeweek fic that @engineerdz and myself are collaborating on, about the androids patching up their relationship as siblings and bonding with the Saiyans,  who are slowly realising the depth to theirs :3

little heartwarming, a little fluff, a lot funny, a little sad, this one

Crediting @slimylittletwentyfour for asking for some Cell Jr - 17 interactions, we couldn’t resist playing with Vegeta too

[goddessofnature]

I posted 6,765 times in 2021

11 posts created (0%)

6754 posts reblogged (100%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 614.0 posts.

I added 185 tags in 2021

#cute - 55 posts

#pretty - 22 posts

#i love it - 17 posts

#beautiful - 17 posts

#super cute - 16 posts

#cuuuuuuuuute - 14 posts

#i love it! - 13 posts

#cuuuuute - 12 posts

#hehehe - 10 posts

#i love this - 9 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#and then at some point i would have to figure out a way to be better and then my rival at all possible things while still saving the world

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Hey, to my mutuals who are used to me like bombing them every few days, sorry I haven't been around much the last few months. Near the end of September my grandparents, who are okay-ish now, caught covid. I was absolutely convinced they were going to die from it and kinda just... shut down. For reference, they had been taking care of me since I was nine, so they are effectively my parents.

Anyways, I still haven't fully recovered from that trauma. Been pretty brain fogged. My whole college term kinda went down the drain. To top it off, I've been sick the last two weeks, but only really figured it out a few days ago. Not sure with what yet, but I'm on antibiotics now and will hopefully find out more in a day or three.

Also, trying to get used to Tumblr on the iPad... Has certain differences that are massively annoying, but it's better for my hand than my Android phone, so...

So yeah... I miss this place, so I'm trying to get myself back here more often.

2 notes • Posted 2021-12-06 10:22:54 GMT

#4

So I very recently learned I apparently have a "brand". Like, I sorta knew, but I truly did not understand the depths of it until a few days ago. See, I love big, thumpy weapons. Giant hammers are a fav and I'm finding a fondness for maces. I'm talking fictionally... Video games, anime, whatever, though I'm sure I'd appreciate them all irl as well.

So I was bitching to my friends over discord how crowded the mall was, because ya know, pandemic‽ And one of my friends had to spend a few moments processing my words because she was initially imagining a "maul" which, while cool, was not my current topic.

So yeah, I have a brand and it's an extreme love for large, blunt melee weaponry.

2 notes • Posted 2021-03-10 12:34:43 GMT

#3

Been watching That Time I Got Reincarnated As a Slime and it's pretty good so far. I know most of the fight scenes because YouTube, but getting all the story bits is really nice. Also I am getting the complete fights without weird cuts.

I think I'm about halfway through season 1. Trying to catch up so that I can stop spoiling myself on YouTube for season 2. Just finished the Orc Disaster fight.

Rimuru is super cute and way smarter in all the social stuff than I would be. He's an excellent diplomat it seems. The last bits with Shinue made me tear up. It was super sad! Best thing is, Rimuru's first reaction to handling the person who caused her so much pain is too promise himself to deck the guy. The kijin are great, but I already knew that.

Not sure what my next anime should be afterwards, but Jujutsu Kaisen is on my radar. That thing has excellent fight scenes.

Oh yeah! Been playing Loop Hero a bunch and it's a super fun game. I love it and and the heroes plus several of the villagers are really pretty.

2 notes • Posted 2021-03-06 10:19:47 GMT

#2

Got my birth certificate updated today. Updated my license a month or so ago. As far as my state is concerned, I'm legally female now.

3 notes • Posted 2021-08-17 06:19:03 GMT

#1

I kinda blasted through all of what's out of season 2 of That Time I Got Reincarnated As a Slime and now feel a bit empty. Living on the cliff's edge, waiting to know what happens next. Also I started way to late at night so now it's been like morning for a bit and I'm finally going to bed. Should've done that earlier, but I guess I was still processing...

4 notes • Posted 2021-03-13 14:46:41 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[m4delin]

I hope it's not too late for prompts because I'd like to request Illinois saying "I told you not to fall in love with me" to Yancy. Just fuck me up fam >:'3

Prompts are always open, I’m just a slow writer!

Also, confession time. I’m not very happy with this, and I might re-write it another time, but have this anyway bc I’ve been struggling with it now for a while. And I wanna post something!

I hope you enjoy this @juju-on-that-yeet

Title: Told You SoRating: T, for mostly swearingCharacters: Yancy, Bingiplier, Illinois, Actor MarkTags: No happy ending, Angst, brainwashing/reprogramming, implied torture, not beta’d

The first thing Yancy noticed were the sharp pain coming from his neck. He wasn’t sure if he groaned or whimpered from the pain, he wasn’t even sure if he was moving. Pain was all he registred for some time.

Then the sense of touch reached him. Something cold were pressing against one side of his face and side of the body and something uncomfortable were digging itself into his wrists. Where were his arms? He still couldn’t feel them.

After laying still and letting the coldness ground him for a while, sound finally started to filter through the buzz in his head and the streaks in front of his eyes slowly disappeared. Meaning he finally dared to open his eyes.

While Yancy wasn’t expecting to see anything particular, he found himself to be prepared for a blinding light that comes with being in Dr. Iplier’s room. But this was obviously not Edward’s small clinic at the Manor. Yancy wasn’t even on a bed. The ground were cement, the light were barely enough to see and were coming from the corridor and there were bars preventing him from getting outside of the room. Cell would be a more appropriate description.

He closed his eyes and let out a groan. His head was killing him. He wasn’t sure for how long he laid there, letting the coldness of the floor sooth his aching body, but when he heard footsteps approaching, he forced his eyes open to watch the person.

“Bing?” Yancy’s throat were hoarse and he needed a drink badly, but he barely noted that fact as Bing were watching him with his orange eyes. It sent a shiver down Yancy’s spine, he’ve never really seen Bing without his sunglasses. But the most worrying part were the fact that he looked emotionless. Way too much like Google.

Yancy grunted as he tried to sit up, but only to find his hands tied behind his back. Dread started to build in his stomach and he stared at Bing. “Bing, what’s happenin’?”

No answer.

Yancy shuffled himself up into a sitting position and stared right back at the android, annoyance overcoming the dread. “Are yous just gonna stare at me, huh? Like I’m some sort of an animal?” He spat.

At that Bing smirked, and opened the door and with a few long steps he was by Yancy. Yancy let out a curse when he was suddenly dragged up by his feet and pushed to walk.

He stumbled at the first push but somehow caught himself before he would slam into the bars. “Fuckin’ tincan! Lemme get my balance before I start walking or I’ll bust youses head in!”

The chuckle coming from behind him had the hairs on his arms stand. It sounded empty. “Sorry Yancy, but we’re in a bit of a hurry.”

With no more words, Yancy got pushed through a corridor filled with cells. Most of them seemed to be empty.

But when he saw a glimpse of a blue android in one of them, he tried to stop and look but Bing merely continued to push him forward, making Yancy stumble and almost fall. “That’s Google! What the fuck is he doing in a cell? What is going on?“ He yelled as he tried to turn around to look back.

"Don’t worry about him. He’s just being… repurposed. He’ll feel a lot better afterwards.” Bing didn’t stop for a moment in his walking. “I know I did.”

The last words were barely louder than a whisper and Yancy would’ve missed it if Bing weren’t close to push him forward again.

“Repurposed- what the fuck Bing? What have they done to you?”

He didn’t receive an answer other than a shove. Cursing and swearing were the only thing Yancy could do, and he got louder when he noticed other egos in other cells. Yandere, Bim, King, Silver. All of them laying still. And no amount of yelling and swearing made them react.

Eventually were Yancy brought to a bigger room that was more well lit than the corridor, it almost hurt his eyes. But he didn’t have to worry about that as a blinding pain ran across his skull.

He wasn’t sure if he fell to the floor or if Bing caught him, but as the worst pain dulled he knew he was manhandled and pressed against something flat.

And when he finally were able to focus and open his eyes again, he found himself tied to the wall.

Groaning, Yancy tried to muster strength to tug at the chains but it did nothing more than to rattle them.

“Ah! I see that Yancy are here and awake! Well done, Bing!”

Yancy followed the unfamiliar voice to an unfamiliar man standing in the doorway. Red bathrobe, white scarf, black cane, fucking slippers. A face not too unlike his own.

Another ego.

“Who the fuck are yous?”

“Oh? You don’t recognize me? Well, I do look quite different right now so I suppose I can’t blame you.” The man chuckled as he walked up by Bing. ”But I’m surprised that Damien haven’t told you about me.” He tilted his head.  “Of course, he likes to keep his secrets, doesn’t he?”

Yancy frowned. “I’m supposed to know yous? And who’s Damien?”

The man waved a hand dismissively in front of him. “Ah, I keep forgetting he goes by Dark these days. He could’ve found a better name than that, don’t you think?”

Staring at the man, he tried to form his thoughts and understand what was happening but the pain made his mind sluggish.

“But never mind that! I usually goes by the name Mark, and I know how it seems, but really! I’m one of the good guys!” The man, Mark, gesticulated with one of his hands as he talked.

Yancy barely listened to him talking, trying to figure out what happened before he woke up in that cell. He’d been outside.

“Bing here-” Mark’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts and Mark put a hand on Bing’s shoulder- “have kindly seen reason! I must say, Damien really puts a lot of lies in everyone’s head!”

Bing’s face were blank with no hint of emotion behind his eyes. Now that Yancy got a look on him in better light, he was confident that even Google emitted more emotions from his face than Bing does now. And that scared him. The mischievous grin on Mark only added to the coming dread.

“I’m sure you will see reasons as well, my dear Yancy.”

Yancy’s mind were racing as Mark turned around and begun to walk over to a table where a hat rested. A very familiar hat.

Illinois.

He’d been outside with Illinois, Yandere and Bim as it been a nice day.

“What the fuck have yous done with Illinois?” Yancy growled and pulled against the chains, pain be damned.

Mark picked up the hat and walked back to his previous place beside Bing, a small, amused smile on his lips. “There’s nothing you need to worry about.”

“If youses hurt ‘Nois, I’ll fuckin’ murder yous!”

Mark studied him and Yancy kept growling, yanking at the chains. A chill ran down Yancy’s spine when Mark’s face suddenly brightened and laughed.

“You’re in love, aren’t you?”

Yancy growled in response.

Mark’s face softened. “Oh, Yancy.” As he stepped closer, he put the hat on top of his head and slowly the bathrobe faded to only be replaced by a beige shirt and brown pants. Cane dropped to the floor and slippers turning into shoes. The skin darkened to a tan color and the beard got scuffier. A charming smile were on his lips as he stopped in front of Yancy.

Yancy felt his mouth run dry as he stared at the man in front of him. “‘Nois?”

“Yeah, it’s me.” Even the voice and accent were right.

Shaking his head, Yancy balled his fists. “No, yous ain’t him! Yous just some shapeshiftin’ dick!”

All the anger and fight left him as Mark- Illinois- fuck, he didn’t know anymore- gently grabbed Yancy’s chin and tilted it slightly upwards, looking into his eyes.

“I’m so sorry, Yancy. I told you not to fall in love with me.”

“‘Nois-” Yancy began but bit himself in the tongue. What was he gonna say?

Illinois backed up until he reached Bing. “Bing, we need to get started. Before Damien or William decides to come busting in.”

His voice too smooth for those words.

Bing nodded, turning around and walked out through the door. Illinois looked at Yancy with a hint of sadness in his eyes. “Sorry that it turned out like this. But I promise, you’ll feel better afterwards.”

“Yous- yous ain’t him! Yous ain’t ‘Nois!”

Illinois hummed. “I am now. You see, the original died during his first expedition after he arrived at the Manor. Quite easily to take his place without Damien noticing. And I must say, I’ve become quite fond of this hat,” he says and tiled said item a little bit backwards.

Air didn’t want to go down into his lungs.

“I- no. Yous… Yous lyin’.” His voice weren’t louder than a whisper. Yancy didn’t dare to speak any louder.

Illinois’ expression softened again. “Don’t worry, darling. I’ll take care of you.”

Yancy didn’t doubt him.

[satellite-sims]

36-44? :0)

Thank you for questions i already thought that no one will send them lol :D

36. Do you have OC pairs where the other part belongs to someone else (siblings, lovers, friends etc)? 

Nope, i make pairings only with my own sims.

37. Introduce an OC who is not quite human

I had a two OC who is not quite human bc they are androids hah but they both belongs to my sci-fi AU that i destroyed 3 months ago bc it’s stupid and i don’t have them anymore :/

38. Which one of your OCs would be the best dancer? 

Today i had a dream about Francine being a ballet dancer and i remember that she got an 8 place for championship and i was so proud of her, so yeah sure thing it will be Frannie.

39. Introduce any character you want 

Antje Traue. 32 years old. Divorced. Working as a Literature teacher in *name of town* college. After divorce she had a quite strange behaivor. As her colleagues says she became very closed person. She even don’t look at eyes while talking to person anymore. At least she have a very good taste in fashion. Students look at her with admiration besides the group she is curating. (This is a little introduction from my new story “Deep End”)

40. Any fond memories linked to your characters? Feel free to share!

I think i had a lot of good memories with some of my characters but i can’t remember any :/

41. Has anyone drawn fanart of your OCs? If yes, maybe show a picture or two here (remember sources & permissions!) 

It’s not really a fan art but @woodleef drawn my sunshine Frannie :>

42. Which one of your OCs would be the most interested in Greek gods? 

This might be Francine and Mary Jo.

43. Do you have any certain type when you create your OCs? Do you tend to favour some certain traits or looks? It’s time to confess 

Ah yes i have some facial features crawings. I like big squarish jaws, light eyes (blue or green) medium or thin lips, big noses and deep cheekbones. Vivid examples are Francine (except cheekbones she have a chubby cheeks) Tatyana, Mary Jo, Rhea and the most vividest example is Antje. For me she is ideal of beauty.

44. Something you like about your OCs in general

I like that they all had a sad backstories behind. The past won’t let them go to the future sometimes, but they always fight with their demons. I love when their strong sides becomes visible while they are might be the most quiet person.

[runexxknight]

GET TO KNOW THE BLOGGER

Can be used for RP and non-RP blogs to get to know a bit about the person behind the screen!

1. FIRST NAME: Samuelle

2. STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF: I run in my house instead of walking for absolutely no reason.

3. TOP THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON: Eyes, smile and general charisma.

4. A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF: Sushis.

5. A FOOD YOU HATE: I’m really not fond of beef in general.

6. GUILTY PLEASURE: Chocolate for sure ♥

7. WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN: Pajamas.

8. SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS: Serious relationships

9. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE: I don’t think so. I took the decisions I wanted to make at the time so it’s not necessary to look back.

10. ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON: Not much.

11. A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN: All the Harry Potter movies ♥

12. FAVORITE BOOK: The Harry Potter books will always have a special place in my heart, and also The Handmaid’s Tale and Wuthering Heights.

13. YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE: Always a dog LOL ♥

14. TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS [IF YOU ARE AN RP BLOG, YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN SHIPS AS WELL]: It’s absolutely terrible to choose. Locke/Celes (Final fantasy VI), Kaidan/Shepard (Mass Effect trilogy), Hawke/Fenris (Dragon Age 2), Arno/Élise (Assassin’s Creed Unity) & Geralt/Yennefer (The Witcher 3). I just picked one ship per fandom so these are not all my faves xD it was just too hard to choose :P

15. PIE OR CAKE: Pie.

16. FAVORITE SCENT: Coffee ♥

17. CELEBRITY CRUSH: Nick Carter ♥

18. IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO: Italy :3

19. INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT: Introvert.

20. DO YOU SCARE EASILY: Nope.

21. IPHONE OR ANDROID: Iphone.

22. DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES: Of course omg LOL

23. DREAM JOB: Writer

24. WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS: I’m pretty sure I would donate or help people around me who are in need.

25. FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE: Cait Sith from FFVII. He’s just annoying and it’s kinda sad.

26. FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER: MMH I don’t know ??

TAGGED BY: @xdetruo​, thank you dear :D ♥

TAGGING: @golden-heart-knight @fabullisnova (Shadow) / @ragingfists @stcrprism @featherskyhero @onuscientia @heavnlyfists​ @adventurouswind​ @earthmaiden​ & YOU ;D

[dragoonxdive]

GET TO KNOW THE BLOGGER

Can be used for RP and non-RP blogs to get to know a bit about the person behind the screen!

1. FIRST NAME: Samuelle

2. STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF: I run in my house instead of walking for absolutely no reason.

3. TOP THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON: Eyes, smile and general charisma.

4. A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF: Sushis.

5. A FOOD YOU HATE: I’m really not fond of beef in general.

6. GUILTY PLEASURE: Chocolate for sure ♥

7. WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN: Pajamas.

8. SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS: Serious relationships

9. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE: I don’t think so. I took the decisions I wanted to make at the time so it’s not necessary to look back.

10. ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON: Not much.

11. A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN: All the Harry Potter movies ♥ 

12. FAVORITE BOOK: The Harry Potter books will always have a special place in my heart, and also The Handmaid’s Tale and Wuthering Heights.

13. YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE: Always a dog LOL ♥

14. TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS [IF YOU ARE AN RP BLOG, YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN SHIPS AS WELL]: It’s absolutely terrible to choose. Locke/Celes (Final fantasy VI), Kaidan/Shepard (Mass Effect trilogy), Hawke/Fenris (Dragon Age 2), Arno/Élise (Assassin’s Creed Unity) & Geralt/Yennefer (The Witcher 3). I just picked one ship per fandom so these are not all my faves xD it was just too hard to choose :P

15. PIE OR CAKE: Pie.

16. FAVORITE SCENT: Coffee ♥

17. CELEBRITY CRUSH: Nick Carter ♥

18. IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO: Italy :3

19. INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT: Introvert.

20. DO YOU SCARE EASILY: Nope.

21. IPHONE OR ANDROID: Iphone.

22. DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES: Of course omg LOL

23. DREAM JOB: Writer

24. WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS: I'm pretty sure I would donate or help people around me who are in need.

25. FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE: Cait Sith from FFVII. He’s just annoying and it’s kinda sad.

26. FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER: MMH I don’t know ??

TAGGED BY: @benedictusxlunaris​, thank you :D ♥

TAGGING: @cindyxaurum​ @royalbratprince​ @loktonphoto​ @khresme​ @duellicae​ @vaenaera​ @brxssknuckld​ @vanishingnightstar​ & YOU ;D

[fleurdeneuf]

meme me

Tag Game: answer 21 questions and tag 21 people you want to get to know better.  Thank you, @acreasy1, for tagging me. :D 

Nicknames: Fleur

Zodiac sign: technically Aries, but I was born prematurely, so what does that mean? :p

Height: 5′3″

Hogwarts house: Huffleclaw/Ravenpuff, and you can’t make me choose one or the other. ( @deathlyfandoms tried to type me in a more involved HP typing system, with primary and secondary, but I don’t remember what she came up with - Grace??)

The last thing i googled: "jodie whittaker asset” because I couldn’t remember the exact name of the show...Google told me it was The Assets.

Favorite musicians: I’ve not been keeping up with new music the past few years, but faves include Radiohead (always), Fiona Apple, Jeff Buckley, Elliott Smith, Arcade Fire (older more than newer), Portishead, Joy Division, Neko Case, The Smiths, The Cure, Conor Oberst....I like the new indie stuff that I hear but am not super familiar with, and I also love super old timey folk/americana type stuff.

Song stuck in your head: None at the moment, thankfully! :p

Following: 102!  I JUST surpassed 100 for the first time ever, haha.

Followers: 792!  I’ve been hovering around 790 for the past several months I think...my KE spam has lost me a ton of followers, but I’ve also gained some new ones, so *shrug emoji*.

Do you get asks: Once in a while, but not often.  I’ve gotten a few anons ask me things about KE, which just blows my mind....I am not someone that people ask things!  Does this mean I’ve made it??  ;)

Amount of sleep: 8-9 hours?  Hard to say, because I rarely sleep very soundly.

Lucky number: I don’t think I have one, but I am fond of 9.  :D

What you’re wearing: Comfy old jeans and a comfy t-shirt. 

Dream job: Curator at a European history museum/historic site.

Dream trip: I think @asthewheelwills and I have a plan to visit libraries and museums in the UK and Argentina?  And there’s that backpacking trip through Europe that @deathlyfandoms and @mercwithamouth and a couple others and I came up with ages ago.  And it’s fated that @chiaroscuroverse and I are gonna meet CE someday, so...I better get busy. :p

Instruments: I played the flute from 5th grade up through college.  I’ve forgotten a lot of it but would like to get back to it someday.  The problem is that I hate playing by myself and I HATE trying out, so it would have to be a super relaxed concert band setting or something.

Languages: Native English speaker, formerly nearly fluent in Spanish, but I’ve lost a lot since school (which makes me really sad if I think about it too hard), and formerly passable in French, but I’ve lost even more of that.  Sigh.  

Favorite songs: This is too overwhelming of a question, so I’m gonna narrow it down to a few favorites from Radiohead and Jeff Buckley.  Also, of late, the entire KE soundtrack. :D  Paranoid Android, All I Need, Let Down, Lilac Wine, Hallelujah, Lover, You Should’ve Come Over

Random fact: I’ve had glasses since I was two years old (minus a stint during my junior year of high school when I had contacts, which did not last).

Aesthetic: Cozy fall sweaters and thunderstorms and tea and knitting mixed with art deco and art nouveau.

Tagging 21 cool people ok here we go: @sorrynotsorrybabyx, @joi-in-the-tardis, @deartimekeeper, @onthedriftinthetardis, @paigenotblank, @naughtylupine, @audreyhor, @anne-hedonia, @scullywolf, @pinchtheprincess, @sorrywhatever (I’ve seen your return!!! :D ), @stoprobbers, @crowzley, @tinyconfusion, @deathlyfandoms, and a few new KE followers: @zutaralesbian, @evepolastriyoupieceofshit, @horcrnx, @madam-legba, @kissingeve, @lunacalypso (No pressure, but please @ me if you do it!)

[spectral-musette]

So, the Avengers: Endgame spoiler ban is lifted, and I’ve had a chance to mull over my responses, so I’m finally going to try to write up some thoughts. I was hoping to have seen it again in the interim, but that didn’t work out, so I’m relying on memory from one viewing – it’s possible I’ve missed or misinterpreted things.

Spoilers to follow, so scroll carefully, Ye on Mobile! Also, sorry about the Long Post (TM), I apparently I had a lot to say.

 Time-wise, for its 3 hour length, the film didn’t feel long to me. It maintained its momentum and nothing felt laggy or tedious, even the big battles.

Time travel-wise… Okay, positive stuff first. I thought that revisiting the settings of earlier films was absolutely delightful and nostalgic. It felt very satisfying to have those call backs to earlier adventures and cameos of old enemies (Crossbones, Pierce, Zola, and, surprise, even Sitwell). The Cap vs. Cap fight was hilarious, and I loved seeing Steve so utterly exasperated with himself (“I can do this all d-“, “YEAH, I know.”). The scene in the 70’s was good, though some of the Tony and Howard stuff rang a little hollow to me. I think that’s mostly because I’ve always had trouble reconciling Dominic Cooper’s Young Howard Stark (who I’m very fond of, especially after Agent Carter) to the older version of Howard we see in various flashbacks. They look, sound, and act nothing alike; my friends and I always joke that Hydra replaced Howard sometime in the 60’s. So while an aged up Dominic Cooper Howard probably would’ve made me emotional, as it was, I was more moved to see 20 seconds of Jarvis than for all the stuff with Tony talking to his dad about fatherhood.

Using the “Quantum Realm” for time travel was… okay…. Insofar as the “science” of the Ant-Man films has absolutely never made any damn sense (and that’s …. fine. They’re funny and joyful, and I enjoy them a lot anyway. I don’t go to Marvel movies for “realistic” science fiction), throwing time travel into the mix felt like it just might as well happen. I guess I understand why they chose to go with the “nothing we do in the past can affect our own timelines” approach, but frankly it’s still giving me a headache. I also understand not over-explaining, but there’s a middle ground there that wasn’t quite achieved for me. I guess, based on the scene with Tilda Swinton (sorry, haven’t seen Dr. Strange and don’t know her character’s name) and Bruce, we’re supposed to assume that every journey to the past (cue Anastasia music) creates or perhaps just shifts the time traveler into an alternate reality that branches from their original reality at that point? And then when they travel back to the time they started from via the quantum realm, they return to their original version of reality. So the actions that they take in the past affect that alternate reality, but not the reality that they came from and return to. That’s the only thing I can figure out that makes sense to me at all, but unfortunately the film didn’t make that especially clear. Maybe seeing it again would clarify? So this is gonna be a big factor in how I feel about Steve’s ending, but I’ll get to that in a moment.

Also, a tangent re: time travel… While Tony (an engineer) and Bruce (a biologist) are both brilliant, this seems a little outside their areas of expertise! You know, wouldn’t it be great if we had a character who was an astrophysicist who could really tackle this type of thing - OH HEY, we do! I realize that there were probably issues with getting Natalie Portman back in a substantial role, but I love Jane Foster a lot and I would’ve loved seeing her work with Tony and Bruce to save the universe with a handful of Pym Particles.

OKAY, there’s an awful lot to cover, so I’m going to break down some of my feelings by character just to try to stay organized.

(First, a disclaimer that I haven’t seen Captain Marvel yet, so while Carol seemed like a great character, I don’t have a lot to say since I don’t really know her yet. That said, this seemed like an adequate introduction to the character and I am interested to know more. We have the problem of “if Fury could’ve called her anytime why didn’t he call her during the Chitauri attack/to fight Ultron/etc.” But all the individual titles that come after the team-ups have that problem a little bit… Where were the Other Avengers in Thor 2 or Iron-Man 3, etc.? Sometimes you just have to accept and move on.)

Briefly:

Nebula and Gamora, Tony, Bruce, Scott, with a quick note about Wanda and a very conspicuous absence

And the heavier stuff regarding:

Thor, Natasha, and Steve (and Sam and Bucky).

Nebula and Gamora:

While the Guardians aren’t really my thing, I did vaguely know that in the original Infinity Gauntlet comic storyline, Nebula takes the gauntlet from Thanos and fixes reality. I understand not following the comics exactly for the sake of surprise and to fit with the changed version of the universe, but it still felt wrong to totally take that away from her. Especially given what Thanos has done to her, personally, it seemed fitting that she was going to be the one defeat him. I’m glad she was still pivotal to the story, but it felt like an extra kick in the teeth that past!Nebula was the catalyst for Thanos catching up with our heroes rather than getting to be the one who saves the universe. And forcing her to kill her past self felt like it should’ve been treated with much more gravity than it finally was.

I’m really glad we “saved” Gamora by bringing the version of her from the past into the current timeline (however that works), but I feel so bad for anyone who’s really invested in Gamora/Peter Quill. It’s so heartbreaking that their entire history never happened as far as she’s concerned, that we’ve not only removed that very key relationship, but her character growth over the past how many years. It is at least hopeful; Peter remembers, and has the chance to woo her again, but that’s still got to sting.

Tony:

So Tony Stark sure did die.

I’m not sure… he really needed to? I mean I don’t think I get the rationale of the Infinity Gauntlet killing/maiming the user. I recall the handwavey line about gamma radiation, but if you don’t immediately die after using it, couldn’t you juuuust, say, use the Reality Stone to be like, “hey what if I wasn’t mortally injured”? Couldn’t somebody ELSE do that? I’m not sure I get that.

So that said, I’m not sure if RDJ was really pushing for “you gotta kill me off” for dramatic effect or just to step out of the franchise? It would’ve been kinda cool to see retired Tony working as Avenger-support, working on suits for Rhodey and future Iron-heroes (Iron Patriot? Iron Heart?), mentoring Peter and other youths, and living his nice life with Pepper and their munchkin.

But what a way to go, huh? Dramatic self-sacrifice saving the the planet(/universe?), and a funeral that almost everybody who’s anybody shows up for.

Bruce:

I’m with Valkyrie that I preferred EITHER version to PermaHulk Bruce. Honestly, the Hulk himself had sort of become an independent character, especially after Ragnarok (my issues with Ragnarok aside). So by Bruce settling into this “I look like the Hulk but I act like Bruce” limbo, are we … essentially killing the Other Guy? I don’t like that. I mean I prefer Bruce obviously, but I’m really uncomfortable with that solution.

Scott:

I really love Scott and he was delightful as always in this film. I’m heartbroken for him that he missed (another) 5 years of Cassie’s life, though. I’m also pretty sad we won’t get to see the little girl who has played Cassie so far in any future films since we’ve aged the character up to a teenager. Also, I would’ve liked to see more of Hope! I loved Scott and Hope’s little moment when Hope calls Steve “Cap” and they trade expressions between Scott going “SEE, HE IS REALLY COOL, RIGHT?” and Hope being like “Yeah, okay”.

Overall I guess the Ant-Fam is sorta tangential to the main MCU Avengers cast, so while it was nice to have everybody play together, briefly, I’m pretty content that we’ll see more of Hope (and Janet!) in future Ant-Man/Wasp titles.

 - Similarly, while T’Challa and the Wakanda fam were definitely underused in Endgame (especially the entirely absent Nakia), Black Panther 2 is happening. It’s disappointing to not get a substantial amount of characters that you like in the big team-up films, but it’s good to know they’ll be returning later.

Wanda:

We are really leaving Wanda in a rough place of having lost her twin brother and her android boyfriend within a pretty short amount of time (that’s rough, buddy). Plus, one of the characters that we’ve seen her have a pretty strong bond with is Steve, and he’s out of the picture too. I’m not sure where we’re going with this character, honestly. Hopefully it’s not continuing to hurt her.

It really seemed conspicuous that nobody so much as mentioned Vision by name in this film. Wanda referred to him indirectly, but that was it. I get that Vision isn’t immediately able to be saved since he didn’t vanish in the Gauntlet event, but, yikes, can anybody besides Wanda please attempt to give a damn about him?

I know sometimes we like to pretend that Age of Ultron didn’t happen to us, but Vision was still an interesting character, and some major plot points of Infinity War focused on the value of Vision as a person. I feel pretty bereft that he’s (apparently) gone beyond recall with so little mourning.

Thor:

*heavy sigh*

Thor’s characterization was….???

Unpopular Opinion: despite its good points, I overall didn’t really like Ragnarok, and Thor already sort of felt out of character to me at that point.

Another Unpopular Opinion: I actually really love The Dark World. Thor’s relationship with Jane, and his characterization of gentleness and humility in that era really were important to me.

And I get that Hemsworth is genuinely good at comedy and probably likes doing it. But Thor has always been a funny character. We just used to be laughing with him instead of at him.

I was so uncomfortable with the way the film framed Thor’s brush with depression and alcoholism. Because Thor has lost so much at this point, he has every reason to struggle. I want to say that Thor wouldn’t have given up, but the same time I can believe that this almost unimaginable weight of loss (Frigga, Odin, Loki, Heimdall, The Warriors Three, Asgard itself) would take some toll. And yet the framing of his scenes treats his grief and despair as cause for humor. We’re expected to laugh about an unkempt beard and a big belly instead of being concerned about the fact that a character that we loved considers himself a failure. And there’s nothing funny about this situation to me. It just made me uncomfortable and sad. Revisiting Thor 2 and having him talk to Frigga was on the better side, but I’m disappointed that we couldn’t save her.

Natasha:

*heavier sigh*

Okay, I think a lot of the problem here is that it’s just really difficult to kill a main character any time other than in the last act (we also saw this problem in Star Wars Rebels, but that’s another can of worms). So because Natasha died at such a midway point in the movie, I still can’t shake the feeling that she’s not really dead. Nothing about it felt final to me. Clint trying to emphasize that, because Red Skull said so, it was impossible to bring her back (it’s freaking RED SKULL, why would we trust him???) just made me think even more that she was definitely coming back. Everything seemed to point to her dramatic reappearance and then it just … didn’t happen. That’s not to say it won’t happen in a future film, though, but it still feels deeply unsatisfying and unceremonious now, and that feeling really was a blow to my overall enjoyment of the film.

It also sat really badly with me that Natasha made this choice not just to save Clint (which I would believe; their friendship is really great and I love seeing Natasha’s extremely profound but non-romantic bonds with Clint and with Steve (though I would’ve preferred Natasha/Clint to Natasha/Bruce)), but because she fundamentally felt less worthy than Clint. I don’t like the idea that Natasha went to her death still feeling such guilt, still feeling like a monster (according to that awful scene in AoU), for the things she did as a very young person under the influence of brainwashing. I don’t like that at all.

I’m also really disappointed that we didn’t pursue Natasha and Bucky’s relationship from the comics in the MCU. Because the idea of two people with very similar emotional wounds coming together to support each other as they heal is just really appealing (#looking for baggage that goes with mine). That throwaway line in Civil War (“at least you could recognize me”) really had me convinced that we were going there. I guess we still could, but there are a lot of “ifs” standing in the way now.

Steve:

Another disclaimer: Steve is absolutely my favorite Avenger, and I ship Steve/Peggy really hard.

Aaand I still felt uncomfortable with the resolution.

Maybe it’s just the difficulty I’ve been having getting my head around the time travel shenanigans.

So a lot of the criticisms I’ve heard/read about Steve going back to the 1940’s to Peggy seems to be functioning under the assumption that Steve is living within the timeline as we know it in MCU canon, staying completely hidden, and just not changing any of the bad things that canonically happen: Bucky becoming the Winter Soldier, Hydra infiltrating SHIELD, etc.

But we’ve been told that time travel doesn’t work that way – that Back To The Future, Doctor Who way – in this universe, right? This brings me back to my Alternate Reality take. So my understanding is that after Steve returns the infinity stones to the points in time that the Avengers yoinked them from, he basically occupies an Alternate Reality for a lifetime (Tilda Swinton’s thing about the branched off timelines being consumed by the ~forces of darkness~ only applies IF the infinity stones aren’t returned, and he took care of that). And he could’ve done anything in that Alternate Reality – married Peggy, saved Bucky from Hydra, prevented any wars and disasters he could. Basically it was Steve’s own personal Happiness AU. And then, (presumably after Peggy’s death), he uses the Pym particles and the Quantum Realm to return to his original reality.

Except, in that case, shouldn’t he have returned on the platform instead of dramatically showing up on that park bench?

So…I’m confused and I don’t like it.

Even from the Alternate Reality take, the situation of that choice is complicated. In choosing to be with Peggy, he’s tearing himself out of the lives of all of his loved ones in his Original Reality – Bucky, Sam, Wanda, (whatever the situation was with Sharon Carter that we absolutely never resolved?), etc.

And we’re not completely sure it was a choice, exactly. It’s possible that in the ongoing work to return the infinity stones, Steve somehow got trapped in the past (don’t know why he would’ve had to go to the 40’s, but I guess he could’ve run out of Pym particles there and had to wait for Hank to invent them to even be able to make the trip back).

Also, narratively speaking, it feels a little like we’re invalidating Peggy’s grief, and her character growth that went on in Agent Carter (even if her happy ending with Steve is going on in an Alternate Reality). I wasn’t totally sold on Peggy and Daniel Sousa yet (though I do like Daniel as a character a lot), but Peggy had a whole lifetime that didn’t involve Steve except as a beloved memory. Where is she in that arc when Time Traveler Steve comes back into her life?

Also, even if it IS an Alternate Reality, there would STILL be a version of Steve frozen in the ice in the 1940’s in that reality. How do we deal with that?

And how do we deal with the fact that Steve isn’t the man that Peggy lost anymore. He still loves her, but he’s changed, he’s lived almost a decade since then. How do they find their footing with each other? I’m sure it isn’t impossible, but it’s interesting, and it’s not addressed at all.

I think that’s what bothers me the most – that this is a whole huge adventure – Steve’s entire LIFE – that we’re shoehorning in at the very end of the movie without showing any of the really interesting bits or answering any of our questions about it. I guess that leaves the situation as a fertile ground for the imagination, and maybe that’s a space that the MCU intends to explore someday? I would absolutely watch the hell out of Steve’s Time Travel Romance with Peggy, somebody take my goddamn money.

Anyway, I’m happy about Sam taking up the Shield as Captain America. Bucky-Cap also could’ve been great, but I feel like, with the place we left Bucky in his recovery, he doesn’t need that responsibility yet. Let him rest. Wherever we’re going with the series featuring Sam and Bucky is going to be really interesting, and maybe we’ll get to the point where Bucky really wants to work towards atonement and is ready to share the burden of the Shield with Sam? I’m looking forward to finding out.

Overall, most of my feelings about the movie were pretty positive. It was a complicated story to tell with a lot of characters, and mostly it was handled pretty well. Some of those threads did fall flat for me, but they didn’t totally invalidate the parts of the movie that worked.