#For some reason they're really easy for me to understand and use for simple concepts

[gilfhunter069]

Me, An aroace: Yea they're all on the spec, but what if-

[thedrarrylibrarian]

hi!! I first off wanted to say THANK YOUU!! I came across your page abt two months ago when I needed new fics and I use your recs so often!! I was wondering, what are a few of your all-time favorite fics, if you had to choose? (:

Oh my goodness! I'm so glad to hear that you've been enjoying my blog! I can't believe I've been running this blog for 3 years today!

What a fun ask (I've been sitting on this so I could use it for today!) I really struggled to pick fics - or more accurately, not to pick ALL the fics! I picked fics that are my go to rereads - whether it's because they make me laugh or because they pull at my heartstrings, or because they're so hot, these are some of my personal favorites.

Cupboard Love by @shealwaysreads (4,184 words, rated G)

Cupboard Love: the psychoanalytic theory of an infant’s primary drive being food which, when satisfied, leads naturally to a secondary drive for attachment.

Harry’s life, and love, in food.

Still Warm, Still Warm by @tsauergrass (4,899 words, rated G)

Harry is up to something. Why else would he keep giving Draco presents?

Five Little Things by @bixgirl1 (6,197 words, rated T)

Harry was supposed to be good at this.

Headway by orphan_account (7,482 words, rated M)

“It’s called courting,” Draco spat suddenly, livid and red in the face. “I wouldn’t expect you to understand a single thing about it, actually Potter, since it’s formal, and there are rules, and neither of those are concepts you’d know anything about even if they took on human form and kicked you right in the fucking dick.”

The Exhale by spqr (7,506 words, rated T)

Hermione makes a soft, concerned sound. "Harry, look at this." She shows him an article with a photo, but the photo's not moving; it must be a Muggle newspaper. "NASA have just landed a rover on Mars. It's called Curiosity, and look, this is so--I don't know if it's sweet or sad, but--it's all alone out there, and they programmed it to sing itself Happy Birthday."

Nothing is wrong, but Harry starts crying.

Silverpoint by @tackytigerfic (8,836 words, rated E)

It seems fairly simple to you, but you know that you don't really understand love - how could you, after all? You've never known how to talk about it, but you've never had to before. Everyone you ended up loving has always understood. You've been able to show them, by fighting for them, dying for them.

That seems a bit much- after all, Malfoy just wants tea in bed and his cock in your mouth (not usually at the same time).

It's ok to love him, you reason with yourself - he doesn't have to know. No one ever has to know.

Quick as a Flash of Lightning, Unhurried as Eternity by @onbeinganangel and @babooshkart (10,000 words, rated E)

Can you fall in love with someone by simply watching them fiercely love another version of yourself?

The Way These Days Seem to Go (And Go) by @firethesound (15,230 words, rated T)

Stress baking isn’t a hobby Harry ever thought he’d pick up, but he’s surprised to find how much it helps him to get through those long months post-war. It keeps his hands busy, it keeps his mind occupied, and when Draco Malfoy steadily pushes his way back into Harry's life, it helps with that too.

Let him lead me to the banquet by @harryromper (16,066 words, rated T)

The worst part is Harry’s got no idea why Malfoy keeps sending him invites. He’s never replied to a single one. And if the whole dinner is as exclusive and��sought-after as the Prophet keeps breathlessly reporting, then presumably the only reason Malfoy wants him there is in his capacity as the Chosen One. So, really, he can fuck right off. Harry doesn’t care about Draco Malfoy’s redemption tour. And he’s certainly not going to help him with it.

Draco Malfoy Absolutely Does Not Need to Be Loved by Harry Bloody Potter by @nv-md (18,153 words, rated E)

It’s not easy to be bonded to your childhood rival, turned fuckbuddy, who you also have extremely uncomfortable but repressed feelings for—just ask Draco Malfoy.

When You Kiss Me (What A Lovely Way to Burn) by @femmequixotic (22,167 words, rated E)

A drag fairytale of New York in which Draco wears red lipstick and Potter can’t get enough.

In the dark, the light by phrynne (32,203 words, rated E)

‘Potter… It’s Malfoy. Do you still want this?’ It started like that. Malfoy’s breath on his ear, his voice low, hot against his skin. Harry shivered, though he could feel the heat from Malfoy’s body just behind him, too close, but not touching him. Even if he could. For the rest of the night, he could do whatever the hell he wanted with Harry.

Clouds That Veil the Midnight Moon by @drarrytrash (36,733 words, rated E)

According to Harry’s personal narrative regarding the incident, he’d hooked up with Draco Malfoy for purely self-destructive reasons, or out of convenience, or by some unlucky accident. Looking at him, sprawled in the moonlight, Harry is devastated to recall that he’d hooked up with Draco Malfoy because he’s hot.

Draco is a secret werewolf and Harry is doing his best and they've got criminals to catch, darn it.

Boiling Point by @goldentruth813 (42,882 words, rated M)

After an Auror raid gone wrong, Draco ends up trapped in a dodgy safehouse with nothing but Harry Potter’s dubious company and a dwindling supply of food. With only each other and the walls surrounding them, they're forced to confront their past and their feelings which have long been threatening to boil over.

The Liars Department by @dorthyanndrarry (103,395 words, rated T)

This is a story about Harry meeting up with Draco Malfoy four years after the war. And a story about Harry, well, not hating his job per say, but it's not like he has much to compare it to and it seemed fine. His whole life seemed fine. Then Malfoy came along with and his flashy suits and fast car making everything seem dull in comparison, and Harry... Harry couldn't just leave well enough alone.

Grounds for Divorce by @tepre (122,217 words, rated E)

Malfoy finds a coin. Harry finds a letter.

A story about histories, a story about families. A story about a lemon tree somewhere in Upper Egypt.

What We Pretend We Can't See by @gyzym (131,086 words, rated M)

Seven years out from the war, Harry learns the hard truth of old history: it’s never quite as far behind you as you thought.

❤️ As always, if you find a fic you enjoy, please remember to leave the author a kudos or a comment! ❤️

Love forever,

The Drarry Librarian

[mirror-ralsei]

THEORY: The Ink Blot Test & Symmetry in UTDR

This isn't as much of a typical theory as it is pointing out a design element that I think really needs more discussion: the distinctive style used in certain visuals in the game.

It's actually kind of difficult for me to describe. But there seems to be a recurring style used across many enemies and their weapons. This style is typically white in color, and typically very ornate and detailed-looking. It's easy to pick out because most of the shapes in Undertale/Deltarune's sprites are more simple...and because of one fact: all of these designs look symmetrical.

Here are the places I noticed this style appearing. Hopefully as you look at these, you can understand what I mean by a particular “ornate, symmetrical look”:

Reaper Bird's overworld appearance

Reaper Bird's body

Asriel's CHAOS BUSTER

Final Froggit

POSSIBLE: Knight Knight's Good Morningstar (listed here as “hammer”)

POSSIBLE: Memoryheads (they're in 3/4 view and melting-looking so it's harder to tell, but notice the curly parts and comb-teeth-like parts)

Gaster Blasters (using the unused version since it's easier to notice the style without the eyes)

(While most of these designs are technically not symmetrical if you look closely, they all definitely give the impression of being so.)

There's some other possible references to this style, but I'm just going to focus on the more distinct ones for now. And even some of the ones I've listed are debatable. If I had to pick just a few, I'd use Reaper Bird, their overworld sprite, and CHAOS BUSTER as the definitive examples.

So it's taken me a couple years of not quite being able to place why this style felt so familiar. At first I thought they might look like fractals...

...but that wasn't quite it. Finally, all of a sudden, I put my finger on it.

This design style reminds me of Rorschach blots.

For anyone who doesn't know, the Rorschach test is a psychological test involving the subject looking at inkblots and determining what these patterns look like to them. As you can see, the inkblots are very intricate and symmetrical - just like the examples above.

How does this connect to Undertale? Not too much. But Deltarune? Possibly a lot! Maybe that's the reason most of the instances where this style appears seem connected to Deltarune in some way.

For starters, inkblots are black and white. Specifically, they're black patterns on a white background. So far, every instance of these inkblot-like designs in UT/DR have been the inverse of this: they're all white patterns on dark or black backgrounds. We know light and dark have meaning in Deltarune, so this makes sense.

The ink blots' meaning are what you make of it. Your brain determines what real world things this abstract ink on paper looks like to you. This seems like it could tie into the concept behind the Dark Worlds, and how they seem like “interpretations” of items in real life: For example, the Halloween Pencil becomes a SpookySword. (It's possible the ShadowCrystals may play on this “perception” idea a bit too, but we don't know yet.)

Doctor Gaster seems to be conducting tests on us (Sound Test, SURVEY_PROGRAM, etc.) to observe our feedback. This thematically fits with this whole Rorschach blot test reference. I'm not sure if “WHAT DO YOU TWO THINK?” from Entry 17 and the egg man's flavor text 'What do you think?” are necessarily connected to this at all, but it does happen to fit the theme, lol.

All right, so we've established that there seems to be a symmetrical-looking style. We theorized that maybe they were supposed to evoke a similar look to Rorschach blot tests.

Now we're going to speculate even further.

So why exactly was this Rorschach blot looking style chosen? I think this symmetrical look might be based around reflections. After all, Deltarune involves a Light World and Dark World that reflect each other. And there are actually a few important references to reflections across Undertale and Deltarune.

Kris first appeared in Undertale as the PC's reflection in a puddle if Undertale is being run in Debug mode (Video by marxvee)

Reaper Bird is encountered in a mirror

Asriel and Kris' sides of their room are almost perfectly symmetrical in terms of layout and furniture

Kris' room in Ralsei's Castle has mirrored sprites of Asriel's trophies

The File Select text before Chapter 1's completion states “CHOOSE THE TARGET FOR THE REFLECTION” when copying a file, “IT IS IMMUNE TO ITS OWN IMAGE” when trying to copy a fiile onto itself, and “IT CONFORMED TO THE REFLECTION” when overwriting a file with a copied one

Mettaton NEO's attack is incredibly high but defenses are low, Spamton NEO's defense is incredibly high but attack is low

Gaster's motif of “666” is “mirrored” by 999: 999 appears in multiple places, eg. Chara's attack, stats of Grandpa Semi were “atk: 99999, df: 99999, hp: 999” (pointed out by LeedleLel's comment on this video by Lil' Alien).

The background of Jevil's fight is a mirrored image of a carousel.

The mirrored sinks in the right hospital room read “(It's a regular sink.)” and “(It's a clone of the other sink.)” Also: “(Perhaps there was originally one tall sink that was cut in half to create both of them.)”

All leg options in the GONER_MAKER are identical except the final one, which is mirrored. (pointed out by Shayy via Semi Frequent Undertale Facts)

The background of the GONER_MAKER itself is mirrored.

The background of the Asriel Dreemurr fight is mirrored.

The strange fog graphic before Papyrus' battle appears mirrored.

"I can't get any closer to the camera, I can't even see...my...little reflection." from the Spamton Sweepstakes

POSSIBLE: Gaster's belly face (upside down, details are white on black background, where Gaster's main face are black on white background)

POSSIBLE: Hot Fridge (inverse of the function of a normal fridge. look this one's loose lol, only including it because Alphys invented it and fridges are tied to Asgore's egg fridge, Snowdrake's mother, the Sans fridge call, and maybe the unused “rustfridge” in the Trash Zone (a place rife with possible Deltarune references))

POSSIBLE: Unused rooms 123 and 321 (123 is a relatively accessible unused room with interesting dialogue and 321 is...dark, and "empty").

So notably, the places we find this reflection motif in Undertale seem mostly connected to Deltarune: Kris is the PC of Deltarune, Reaper Bird is tied to Deltarune through Everyman, Mettaton NEO is similar to Deltarune's Spamton NEO, and Gaster is...well, probably the one who gave us our SURVEY_PROGRAM in the first place. Even the more tenuous examples of reflections seem plausibly Deltarune-related, such as the fridge Fun call and the Gaster belly face in Spamton's dumpster and a reflected dark room.

I'd like to expound a little bit on the File Select and sink dialogues. Both of these seem to be playing with a concept that could explain this reflection motif.

Copying a file in the File Select seems to mean we are “reflecting” it onto another slot: “CHOOSE THE TARGET FOR THE REFLECTION.” We cannot copy a file onto itself because “IT IS IMMUNE TO ITS OWN IMAGE.” If we overwrite an existing file with a copied one, “IT CONFORMED TO THE REFLECTION.” Interestingly, though, if you copy a file into an empty slot... “THE DIVISION IS COMPLETE.”

Not multiplying the file - dividing it in two. The original file is also implied to be changed in some way by this, because if you cancel the action of copying a file into an empty slot, “IT RETAINED ITS ORIGINAL SHAPE.” Meaning it would not have retained its original shape if it were copied.

The flavor text for the “cloned” sinks reflects this (hah) exactly. “(It's a regular sink.)” and “(It's a clone of the other sink.)” are followed by “(Perhaps there was originally one tall sink that was cut in half to create both of them.)” Aside from being relevant to the only tall sink we know of, Papyrus' in Undertale, this seems to be setting up a concept of “reflections” representing “an original being divided in two.”

That's about as far as I can take this with the context we have now. We don't know what exactly this reflection/division concept will mean in the plot of Deltarune, as it hasn't showed its hand yet. We don't know if the resemblance of that one recurring style to inkblots is intentional or just coincidence. But at least we have some possible explanation for why these motifs of symmetry and reflections keep showing up.

[doggendoodle]

It's especially interested how bad the Minecraft movie feels when you compare it to other video game movies nowadays.

Like. For example, the Mario movie in concept was simple. Adapt the basic structure of what a Mario platformer is (person gets kidnapped and Mario saves them) with Mario's alternate backstory of being from Brooklyn as an excuse to make him an easier viewpoint character. And Super Mario is THE video game franchise so it's an easy money grab.

Except they didn't make an easy money grab. They made a kid's movie that respected the kids who play the games, they made references to the games and incorporated them into the movie in a way that enhanced the story, and they did this while still understanding the spirit of the franchise.

Mario and DK being rivals but still coming together to fight a greater evil. The Bros.' relationship being the emotional core of the movie. Bowser being portrayed perfectly as a goofy yet still threatening villain. They even incorporated Mario Kart into the story without it feeling tacked on. They took the world of Mario seriously and treated it with respect - they made a world that's goofy and charming but still lived-in, without making it edgy or "realistic" just to "appeal" to adults.

Most people apologising to Minecraft Story Mode are probably doing it as a joke, but like. They already understood this and worked through it. Even in the first game which features a grand adventure, the adventurers are people from the world of Minecraft, and the epic invasion was a horror unleashed by accident, like the Wither it's based on.

Later episodes and seasons play more into the inherent fantastical elements of Minecraft, with the Far Lands and the End as eldritch, alien places. They also reference the community aspects of Minecraft: power-hungry server admins, fan-created games like Spleef, fantastical redstone contraptions, even the Minecraft YouTuber murder mystery.

And even being a movie instead of an episodic game isn't an automatic death sentence - hell, if you really wanted to stick to the base game of Minecraft, you could showcase the joy of exploration that is a much more common and more core experience than big epic boss fights.

That moment in the trailer, where there's a log floating in the broken tree and the boy reaches out for it? The one at the start where they're looking around at the world and the camera lets us see the surroundings? Those are great moments, because that's how it feels to play Minecraft. I've seen and heard kids play the game, I know that's still how they experience it. If you're going to make it into an epic, make it into an epic journey and show off the world. The vistas we've seen do genuinely look gorgeous, like someone transplanted

Even the visual design plays into this. The weirdly realistic mobs Detective Pikachu/Sonic style do not work. Detective Pikachu still looks uncanny to me, but the world of Pokémon is meant to be similar to the human world, and Pokémon are meant to be animals. The world of Sonic is Earth, and the redone design for Sonic and the other animal characters is beautiful; it really does feel like Sonic exists in a world overlaid on ours, more fantastical but still in reach.

The Minecraft movie trying to have its blocky cake and eat it too just feels like a shoddy compromise. The wolf howling at the moon doesn't look epic or awe-inspiring, it looks bad - in fact it's not even on model. They deliberately made it look blockier, for some reason. The invading piglins have realistic armour, and clothes, but their bodies are desperately trying to fit the voxel shapes and it all feels at odds. And of course the pink sheep and llama look god awful.

Combined with the human characters being Regular Humans, it feels more like some random friend group making a home movie than a fucking big budget production - and honestly, it loses some of the fun and appeal of portal fantasy.

I will say, it does look like they will visit the Nether at some point.

[ID: screenshot from the trailer. The scene is dark and lit by lava waterfalls originating above the frame, but the scenery resembles a Bastion. There are several piglins staring at the young male main character, whose head is peeking into frame. End ID]

Given they're shooting for the "marauding piglin" angle it's probably too much to ask, but the scene cuts away at this point instead of transitioning into that standard shot where all the mobs roar at the main character, so part of me is hoping that maybe this scene won't be at the climax, and we'll get to actually experience the piglins as nuanced mobs.

[deadboyswalking]

5 Quick Tips For Writing Child Characters

1. Really, really pay attention to the age of the child you're writing. I've read a lot of fics where a 7 or 8 year old is written like a 3 year old. By age 4-5, children can speak their native language fluently and are pretty easy for others to understand. They may struggle with higher-level unfamiliar words, idioms/metaphors, and complex questions (especially if they're hypothetical), but they will not baby-talk unless they have a language disability. Most children can bathe and dress themselves alone by age 5-6 (though they may need some supervision/instruction for hygenic reasons before age 8 or so). Research and use references for normal human growth so you understand how big an average kid of a certain age would be.

2. Children's lives are context-based and their perception of what is normal/expected is learned from their home environment. It is perfectly normal for a child of any age to feel scared or unsure in an unfamiliar environment, and they'll look to trusted adults for reassurance. If there are no trusted adults around, many kids will have a strong emotional reaction at the sudden reminder that they are a small person alone in a very big and strange world. Unless they grew up being encouraged to participate in adult conversation, many children are very shy about speaking to adults, especially ones that they don't know very well. Like other people, children have opinions, questions, and thoughts. Their culture and home life will determine how comfortable they feel expressing those things. Unfortunately, this is also why many abused children think that what they're experiencing is normal and acceptable. A young boy might know that he's scared of his father, but until he is told otherwise, he'll probably assume everyone's father is scary and that's just how life is.

3. Children usually have a lot of curiosity about the adult world, but their perception of it and imitation of adult behavior/speech is often hilarious. Again, it's that lack of context. If you don't believe me, listen to a 5 year old have a pretend phone conversation. It's clear that they're mimicking their caregivers with the phone phrases they use, but they have no idea what those phrases actually mean. I have Movie Quote Parents, so I know that I was saying all types of things as a kid without even realizing I was referencing something.

4. With that being said, don't fall into the "From The Mouths Of Babes/Children Say The Darndest Things" trap. Children are not inherently truthful (though they're not exactly good liars) and as stated, often totally misunderstand things because of their lack of context. The Precocious Honest Wisdom Of An Innocent Little Angel is, in my opinion, very annoying, overly sentimental, and inaccurate. This is my "please stop having cutesy child characters tell two oblivious adults they're in love with each other" plea to the universe.

5. Speaking of "childhood innocence" as a concept, I don't think it exists. "Childhood innocence" is truthfully "childhood ignorance." For most people, it slowly wears away as you grow up and learn more about the world. Children also have a capacity for cruelty, just like adults, and their mimicry of adult behaviors/opinions/speech (without critical thinking skills) can be just as hurtful to other kids. There's a much darker side to losing childhood ignorance as well. Even leaving out how much kids lie and how deliberately mean they can be, many children go through or are exposed to horrific things at a young age. A child who has had to grow up fast due to trauma or lifestyle or simple necessity won't exactly have that rosy, idealized picture of childhood innocence.

This was a long post! 😅 I hope you find it helpful.

[bahamutgames]

GCPL Game Jam 2024

Hello! Recently the county I live in held an event where you could go and play some games made by local people for the county's game jam they held! I had no idea this was happening until just a few days before, so sadly I didn't enter the jam, but I did get to go to the event and play the games!

I had a great time, the whole Free Comic Book Day event was neat, I got cards from a lot of local artists, saw some cool cosplays, got to play some jam games, met some cool indie devs, and even got a free Monster High comic. Neat.

Anyway, I figure it would be a shame and also just downright rude to not talk about what I got to play during the event! So I figured, hey, let's just make little post solely devoted to it :)

Before we begin, here's the link to the jam page (x) so you can see all the submissions. The theme was "Tales from the Abyss" so a lot of them are horror themed!

Abyssal Assault - by Link362

This one is a pretty basic top down shooter. But for some reason I can't stop thinking about how good it felt. You'll play it yourself and see how simple it is, but for some reason the mouse control for aiming just feels particularly good to me. I think there's a lot of potential in this game for some serious improvement if they add more enemy types and upgrades. I can see sniping enemies with arrows from across the screen being SO satisfying and using the deadzones as cover from enemy fire could be really cool and make for some unique mechanics in a VS-like. If they care to iterate on the game, of course lol

Abyssal Eats - by Poyomain

DUDE this game absolutely rules actually! I had a very difficult time with it during the event and couldn't beat it at all. But after coming back to it today to make this post I seriously LOVE the concept. All the mechanics and stuff really came together and I genuinely love this game!

This is a neat game where you use cards to cook recipes for monsters, it's a little difficult to understand because there's no tutorial, but I really think this game has TONS of potential to be fleshed out into a full project! It's also one of the nicest presentations from this jam, having cute custom graphics and even an original song made just for it! This one is super neat!

Bell-Punk - by Ingward

One of my personal favorites from the jam! When I came up to play it, the person who made it told me they were waiting for me to come over cause they wanted someone who knew what they were doing to try the game... Do I really just give off the gamer aura? Terrifying thought.

Regardless, this is a top down twin stick shooter where you use a harpoon gun to beat up sharks, grab a pearl, then slowly bring it back to your ship. It's nothing super fleshed out, but it's a REALLY good concept in my opinion, and I think deep sea stuff is SUCH a good concept for a shooter / horror / abyss theme that really doesn't get used enough. Just this base with some upgrades, level and enemy variety, other objectives, ect ect would be KILLER! But the creator told me some of their plans for the concept going forward, and I'm not sure if I'm allowed to talk about them, but they sound REALLY cool, so I'll absolutely be keeping up with this one!

Dante's Diner - by cjoyner150

So, I absolutely SUCKED at this game. Couldn't do it during the event and can't do it now. But I still wanted to give it a shoutout cause it's such a good use of the theme. Basically the abyss is the diner you work in and demons will come in, and sit at the table, and you just have to cook for them. Easy peasy. The creators told me the tables were based on the circles of hell, and if that's what they're going for that's GENIUS. I could seriously see a ton of potential in the concept especially if, say, different types of customers sat at different tables, reflecting their sin. Also, this cooking dinerdash game has enemies. Neat! They should put combat into it to

Dimension - by cbianca168

Simple, but OH so addicting. I could NOT stop playing this one. I gave it so many tries at the actual event, but had to give up. However, once I got home and could play it with a controller, it was a lot easier. This is a simple game where you have to pick up orbs while dodging scrap and not get knocked into a black hole. But it's got a nice presentation with its visuals and particularly its music. The creator told me their siblings made the song, and it actually changes to match how far you are into the level! Which is VERY neat! Think you can beat my score?

Hansel And Gretel's Summoning - by kingofthedregs

Another simple one with a really good presentation. This is a cute game where you have to quickly search for candy in a room, and hide whenever a witch comes by. It's easy when you get the hang of it but it was a good challenge when I started. I really like the original artwork in this one and I actually think there's a lot of potential too! I didn't realize the set up for a big plot that appears at the end, so I'd love to see more of what the creator has in store here!

Melt - by p3arldiv3r

So by the time I'm writing this I still haven't gotten an ending in this (sorry to everyone who made visual novels READING IS HARD FOR ME) but I wanted to give a shout out to this one in particular. The creator told me they made all this stuff brand new and original for the game jam. Including the writing, the character designs, and the art. Which is CRAZY! I've only participated in one jam and a lot of the art in that game was pretty small so I feel like doing all the art and writing in such a short time is very impressive. If stuff about angels sounds interesting, maybe check it out, the creator said it's roughly the size of a chunk of a novel, and with multiple endings is a pretty loaded jam game!

Pirate Tales: Lighting The Abyss - by ChokladGames

Another one I couldn't beat, but still wanted to give a shoutout to. This is another impressively large game considering it was made for a game jam. You control a pirate ship, and have to search a large ocean to find clues on where towers are to shoot them down and get rid of the evil fog over the ocean. It's a little lengthy of a game that you have to beat in one sitting, but the concept is very cool and over all I think it's an impressive project! I was also particularly impressed with the use of actual wind physics, where sailing in the direction of the wind makes you go faster! Neat!

Sticky's Dream Job - by MeganG

A shoot 'em up!! You already know I love those! And it's a vampire survivor like, which is cool! I really enjoy this game, since this genre is a personal favorite, and I think this one in specific is very cute with its scribbly aesthetic and being on paper. But it's also a very impressive jam game overall, having multiple classes (they all share the same weapons, but still) with different music tracks for each, lots of upgrades, and actual achievements which is NUTS to me. There's also some cool weapons I feel like I hadn't seen before like a radius shield and giant weapons you lob in an arc similar to Castlevania. I believe this one won the jam over all if I remember correctly, and it certainly earned it, neat game! I got to year 79 and became so powerful I couldn't die. Typical day for a game dev am I right fellas?

Under the Sea - by htesdev

A neat little side scrolling platformer! The whole point of this one is to complete the obstacle course as quickly as possible! You collect coins to increase your speed, and collect gems for checkpoints. It's simple but I think it's a great premise for a side scroller to take place underwater! Especially since water levels are pretty notorious lol. I think this could be expanded and they could really expand on the idea of the level getting harder to see the deeper you get. Anyway, I only got to 67 seconds (66 appears to be the best time) so try and see if you can get that quick!!

VOID - by FoxTrot

Another cool top down shooter! This one is admittedly a lot more polished, having a lot of mechanics such as dashing and shielding. But coolest of all is that you unlock a new spell every floor and can spend coins to swap out your abilities to a load out you enjoy! I keep saying this but this is super impressive for a jam game in my opinion! I think this game can be expanded even more into something really cool! I just like being able to change my abilities on the fly lol

---

And that's just a bit of what I played at the event! There's even more games in the jam I didn't get to check out or that weren't showcased there! And there were TONS of horror games, so if you're interested in some bite sized indie horror, you should check out what else is available!

Everyone who participated in this jam is SUPER talented and if you're interested in ANYTHING that was shared here, I encourage you to go give it a look! I love seeing things made locally where I'm from so it was really exciting to see some Georgia game devs at work :)

If anyone from the Free Comic Book Day event stumbles upon this post, reach out! I'd love to talk more with other Georgia gamers!

[thebusytypewriter]

Salem my beloved!!! Have some Ro q’s!!! 💕

1, 4 and 5 (outside of the killing game for clarification lol), 6, 8, 13, 20, 28, and 38 :D

And for you: E!!!

ASLKGHSK JONNIE you're giving me so much of an excuse to talk about my girl omg

1. What's the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?

God like. maybe ten minutes. And that's only if someone's nearby to keep her occupied. Rosalind's an introvert to be sure, she loves her alone time, but she MUST be doing something or she will Lose Her Mind. Even if it's just reading her own book yet again.

4. How easy is it to earn their trust?

Mmmm my child is naive and has been called this to her face. Even in her social aversion, she prefers to give people the benefit of the doubt. If she doesn't, it's anxiety hell, and she would rather not do that thank you very much.

5. How easy is it to earn their mistrust?

Insult a friend of hers or do something against them and BAM. Instant Ro dislike. Doing something against her is still pretty mistrust-worthy, but the fast lane toward it is via hurting the people important to her.

6. Do they consider laws flexible, or immovable?

To her, laws/rules are solid. She might consider something to be unfair or just plain dumb, but they're rules for a reason, right? Not much to do about that.

8. What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child?

"Rosalind Francine, don't touch that."

13. What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color?

Ah silly simple plain child. She thinks she looks best in brown and muted colors. It's a striking contrast to Ibuki's wardrobe, and she thinks it's funny. Ibuki does not. Ibuki once pouted so much over the concept that she dragged Rosalind on a shopping trip. They found out that Ro does look good in warm colors, especially yellows/golds/oranges.

20. If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do so?

Truthfully? I don't think she could. Not because she doesn't understand the difference herself but because explaining concepts like love are Difficult for her. She uses a lot of physics/chemistry analogies, but there's not really a good option for this, so she just kinda implodes for a sec and then books it.

28. Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth?

Rosalind "tell it like it is, Hinata" Curie prefers the truth. She sees it as a way to move on and grow.

38. What memory do they revisit the most often?

Meeting Ibuki! It was incredibly chaotic, but since the interaction led to a wonderful friendship and left her feeling warm and fuzzy in a new place, she just loves thinking about it.

E) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?

HA she's based on myself (or at least I was the starting point) so I would like to think so? in both directions. if not, we have another problem lmao

[1d1195]

bestie Ive missed you lots these two weeks (crazy it’s been this long😭)!! It’s been so busy for me! Aside from it being the first week, I had two birthday dinners to attend that week! which is a lot for my social battery lol it was fine though! And getting back into my routine has been rough and aside from that getting prepared for graduation stuff has been so much!

But the book that I got is going good! I really enjoy the concept considering it’s really interesting and I’m half way there! I fear that it may take me awhile to finish it only because I fear I just have way too much much to read for my classes :(

I kinda was confused for a second about the pun and then I remembered it’s a 1D song😭 Anyways lol im so sad you sliced your nail!!! Omg I hope it’s healing well and fast! I do think it’s best to let it fully healed before getting a manicure! Depending on the type you get the risk for complications is high so just take it as easy as possible! Also brittle nails is such a real struggle and tbh it’s takes a while for your nails to strengthen! It’s so many factors like health, genetics and like how much you actually use your hands can affect it! I’ve struggled with it too and for the past few months I’ve learned that in order to protect my nails is to never have them bare. Meaning even just a simple base coat on my nails is enough protection!

Oh trust me bestie if it weren’t for financial reasons I would NOT be living at home!! It’s a lot rn in general so yeah i totally get where you’re coming from especially when you say it can be exhausting! A Shameless reference to describe someone’s family is actually so insane omg😭 (but I get it lol) that’s show is crazy but dare I say I kinda want to rewatch again lol

I will seriously be so surprised if basketball bf ever gets kicked out of the #1 spot! Football bf does seem like he would make the whole story so stressful yet I do think it would be good for the plot lol

I hope you get more time to read though! It does sucks that other tasks get more attention or there just isn’t enough time to read though! Hoping you can find some time to do that soon💕

Oh i completely UNDERSTAND why you would feel that way towards Harry because I do too tbh! I just saw those recent pics of him in those red shorts… yeah that was crazy of him 😵‍💫 and omg I would gladly give you full creative rights to my delusional fantasy!

I think it was so easy for me to compare because his characters are really similar to each other! And both shows deal with like family dynamics/dysfunction so it was interesting his interpretations! And yeah I get not being able to dive into the whole show, it’s truly a lot and if bad parenting makes you exhausted them omg Sam you will never find peace with this show 😭

Last quarter of classes is alright! I avoided the horrors of the math department a bit too much when I first started college so now I’m taking one math class 😔 BUT my other classes are fun! I’m taking psychology course, an anthology course and a sociology course! Most excited for the sociology one since we are analyzing films in there!

HOW HAVE YOU BEEN??? How was deep cleaning your apartment? Has meal prep gotten easier these past few weeks?? Have you read any new books yet??

Hope these past few weeks have been good to you my love💕💕 I’ve missed you so much😭💕-💜

HI I'VE MISSED YOU TOO!!!!! I was just about to send the SOS flag to make sure you were good 💕

Two bday dinners is a lot!!! I hope they were fun though, even if they were a bit draining and I love that you had time to read half your book! That's such a win!!! I get the putting off the rest of it, but at least you have something to look forward to! Graduation will be here before you know it!

I bought this nail strengthening base coat (OPI $20 🙃). I used it consistently for a while but I stopped. Right now they feel pretty strong (they are short) but they're bare. I've been chatting with Miss Monica (@monicaalexandraaa) and we were just discussing this, and we decided I may need to venture into the dip nail world. BUT. I ALWAYS tell my sister and bf that I use my hands a lot so they just chip and break easily. I'm like "sorry y'all have cushy jobs??? Like I write 90% of the day under a doc cam. and ya'll don't do chores??? Like the fuck?" Boyfriend has like the BEST cuticles (men are the worst) like he doesn't even care. So annoying.

I have not gotten more time to read but I'm VERY close to April Vacation here in MA and while I am PACKING my schedule with a lot of work/chores/writing, I'm determined to read at least one book. We'll see how I do. As such it will come as no surprise I haven't read anything since football bf.

Idk how my sister watched it. She gets SUCH bad second hand embarrassment. It used to take us 10 times as long to watch a show because she ALWAYS paused it to freak out and hide under a blanket 🙄

TELL ME ABOUT THE MATH CLASS 😍 (I'm sorry you have to take it!) Analyzing films is so fun! I love that for you. I hope it remains "easy" if you will and you have time for yourself and all those good things 💕

I don't have much to report on my end. Same humdrum of life right now. I have been consistently doing pilates (Monica and I are holding each other accountable by referencing Callie from Pucking Rookie and how he would want us to follow through 🤭). I have to clean my apartment again, but tbh I might wait until April break. I forgot we get Friday off so I could do it then. Last week I made a crock pot meal and it lasted a few days. I get a little sick of it though (especially because it didn't reheat as perfectly as I would have liked, ya know?) But we're doing a soup this week so hopefully that will work out. I'm embarrassed to tell you how many books I've read when I have like 0 hope of reading them 😭 I'm looking forward to quite a few of them, but some have been on my shelf for years and I know they're like "you're delulu" but still.

SO happy to hear from you bestie 💕💕 glad the quarter is okay thus far. I hope it goes by quick and painlessly. You deserve a break!!!

xoxo

[nonanthropy]

I... don't really understand what the neogender coiner [that is the coiner, right] is saying either. Honestly, for years I tried to explain the concept that you can have an autonomous gender identity that isn't inherently xenogender, but I don't think I ever did that good of a job :/ words are hard for me including right now where I'm about to be a huge nerd about gender umbrellas

I [badly, I'd imagine, I don't really remember lol] explained a few years ago that kenochoric is a neogender [gender that is New] but it isn't inherently xenogender. This is true! It is a "newer" gender, so it does fit under neogender, but it isn't innately xenoine, just like it isn't masculine, feminine, outherine, or whatever inherently. It inspired some more neogender umbrellas that are autonomous to themselves, and it felt sooo good. I love that neogender umbrellas caught on in concept, it makes me feel so much more seen and understood as a person! I saw people relate to the same feeling I was having, and it made me feel less alone. Like I wasn't just... being weird, or something. Neogender, in the way I saw it being used at the time, was just Any Gender That Is Kinda New. But honestly, beyond neogender, beyond anything else, it's just.... a gender, yannow? And an umbrella term. Neogender was just my way of still trying to tie it into MOGAI in some sense.

BUT. That's not to say that these things Can't be xenic, or outherine, or anything else, for other people; gender is weird and incredibly personal for everyone. I used to consider my kenosity masculine. Now, I consider it a fully standalone thing alongside being a man and a woman. Part of why the community started to be harder for me over time was that I felt like I had to battle technicalities and a bunch of arguing over veeeery specific definitions for something that.. well, for me, has always been its own standalone thing that's not easy to explain. That's just how gender is for me, I guess! It's a weird vibe, it's a personal identity, not something I can perfectly write down and explain all the perfect reasons why it's this and not that. It's like trying to fight a dictionary definition with your personal experiences, and I guess for me, defining gender identity on its own is hard enough

I'd get people saying, well, isn't this thing you coined to not be a xenogender a xenogender for this technical, by-the-books reason? And it felt demoralizing because I was coining... the thing that I am. The personal experience I go through and live through, and I know what I am and am not! It felt frustrating to have that questioned because it doesn't fit with someone else's idea of what the thing I made should be. I don't know why I'm not xenoine, or xenogender, in the same way that I don't know why I'm not agender or something. I'm just not. Some people just aren't. Some terms just aren't. Saying "well it TECHNICALLY falls under this so it is!" flies in the face of the entire concept of personal identity. It's how you run into exclusionism in the first place; how is gendervoid different from agender? How is gendernull different? How are bi, pan, ply, omni all different? Does it really matter, do we need to come up with totally different definitions to justify it? I think the answer is simple: people are what they say they are, and the terms they create to describe themselves are better explained by those people's lived experiences and autonomy than by a technicality, than by making things "fit better" or "make better sense" to others

Then I saw people take this and run with it, twist it into it being "only its own thing! can't be anything else for other people!" and that's equally disastrous. Neogender isn't a "better" term and MOGAI encompasses a looooot more genders than just neogenders. Besides, xenogender IS a neogender! I always saw xenogender as one of many umbrella terms under the label, they're all huddled around in their little orbs and sometimes they can bleed into each other for certain people. They're self contained on their own, you don't have to be x to be y, but you can be both, you can be multiple, you can be all or none! Maybe I sound pretentious or just stupid, but I really do think people need to relax on hard-cut definitions a little bit. Neogender versus xenogender shouldn't be so based on technicalities and excluding this or that, it should be based on what people's experiences are... you know? Sorry I have no idea if this makes any sense it's 4 AM here LOL!!

for the kenochoric asker, as a fellow kenic individual:

kenochoric is a neogender, which is not considered under xenogender. they may overlap, and may go hand in hand even, but the rule of thumb is that xenos =/= neos.

i'm pretty sure you can be outherine in any capacity and fit any neogender, considering the concept of neogenders is, simply put, that they're New Genders (you can read more here), while xenogender is understood as "an umbrella term for non-binary gender identities that cannot be fully described through their relation to concepts typically used to describe gender such as male, female, woman, man, masculinity, femininity, androgyny, neutrality, agenrinity, or outherinity." (from here)

in practice, xenogenders have been expanded to function alongside neogenders, but xeninity is meant to "fill the gap" of gender experiences. neogenders, on the other hand, are their standalone, new thing. "future" genders, if you will (/lh /silly). all this to say, your kenochoric identity can exist on itself alongside your outherine identity no problem in the slightest, no contradiction even. ofc you can do whatever you want forever, but yeah !

just wanted to add some to the conversation, since i'm very interested in kenochoric and it's a neoumbrella i treasure !! hope this made sense hahah

Xenogenders are neogenders. So are any terms that have been coined from 2000 and onward. The coiner themselves said so. Unless I'm reading it wrong which is likely, because the definition is really hard to read and understand for me.

What I don't agree with is the coiner claiming "MOGAI" genders only fall under neogenders. MOGAI, I thought, was coined to include as many queer identities as possible. Because of that, the definition for neogender is insinuating that MOGAI was coined as a way to exclude people. MOGAI doesn't mean identities coined recently. It's literally for marginalized identities, so nonbinary (not a neogender) would fall under it. That bothers me a lot!

But yes, kenochoric and outherine can exist alongside each other. That can happen with just about any gender.

- 💙💚

[goreshitrushi2]

hope its cool to send this cuz i dont have anyone i can talk to about kizashige, but my headcanon is that theyd be qpps partially because theyd have a hard time categorizing their feelings for each other as specifically romantic or specifically platonic. but also partially because i feel like at least morishige (but probably both) would feel like calling each other "boyfriends" would be such an understatement. like they feel so deeply connected and familiar that it goes beyond simple/

anon I love love this ask so much and I'm using it as an excuse to talk about kizashige as an actual relationship because I LOVE the concept of them actually dating. but I get too embarrassed to talk about it. but you're soo so right about how they wouldn't be able to just categorize their relationship as simply romantic or platonic, and how they'd label themselves as something beyond that.

especially when kizami most likely doesn't have the ability to have romantic feelings for someone else. he's said to never have been interested in anyone before-- and while some part of that is to play off the whole "he lacks empathy and compassion, ISN'T THAT SCARY!?!" shtick, it's also still a very real thing that people on the antisocial spectrum experience, so I don't want to take that away from his character. I imagine that his supposed inability to love is also something he enables in himself because he sees himself as defective.

so with this in mind, he'd have a REALLY difficult time compartmentalizing his connection with morishige as anything other than just that, a connection. but it'd still be very genuine since they would understand each other for MANY reasons, from how they were both neglected by their families, to their similar values of wanting to be acknowledged for their accomplishments, and how they both resent needing to play the part of someone they're not to be acknowledged in the first place.

and I LOVE what you said about morishige knowing that most couples feel that their relationships are "different and special", but he would still very much feel that about him and kizami but act like IT'S TRUE and REAL and not LIKE THOSE OTHER NORMIES. IT’S A REALLY MORISHIGE THING TO DO.

I think morishige would be aware of why he respects and admires kizami, and that’d be something he’s not afraid to admit to kizami’s face as well (seeing the way he’s so open about verbal affection with mayu canonically). morishige is a huge romantic, even when he’s reserved and stoic, so he would be capable of processing his feelings for kizami as genuinely romantic. he wouldn’t be able to help it when he appreciates their connection so much. SO I AGREE I think he would also be less focused on things like attraction, etc and more on how him and kizami are so similar and yet so different in a way that could complement each other.

like, I imagine kizami actually having an issue at first trying to process his feelings for morishige because he'd believe he wouldn't be able to provide morishige with those needs. but morishige having a better understanding of his feelings becomes the one to initiate more and push kizami into allowing himself to be affectionate. I still don’t think kizami would feel the yearning or longing, but he’d be willing to keep up almost a routine of being affectionate and providing each other with a sense of stability. and I think it’d be easy for him too with how morishige is also a very reserved person so kizami wouldn’t recoil so much from actively trying because morishige could treat it really casually. it’s not some grand gesture of love, but something very down to earth, AND AS A CONCEPT IT’S REALLY APPEALING TO ME......!!!!! I LOVE THIS ASK I REALLY DO

[less-than-hash]

Entering Narrative Design

I get asked fairly often for advice from people who are interested in getting into narrative in the games industry. Rather than continuing to field each question individually, I figure it’d be more useful to post it where anyone can read it. I’ll also include some links to other worthwhile resources.

Also note that every journey is different. Your mileage may vary regarding any of the advice given below.

More below the cut.

Before I dive into this, a first piece of advice: really think about why you want to do this. 

Game dev is often very difficult and stressful, and the pay is rarely great. 

Know why you want to pursue narrative design – and consider whether there are other ways you could fulfill those goals. 

If, for instance, you want to be a writer, there are many avenues by which you can pursue that dream, especially if you want to be the creative vision behind that writing. (In game dev, you’re often implementing the vision of others.) 

I also personally find knowing why I’m doing this work incredibly useful for pushing through the difficult times.

 The Very Basics 

Wait… what the heck even is a Narrative Designer? Is it just another word for Game Writer?

Writing is generally a subset of Narrative Design (which I’ll abbreviate to ND going forward). Games writer gigs exist and they're often freelance. Honestly I'm not sure where to find them. I think you can search Twitter for "game writer" or the like and probably get some hits. If you're a game writer, that USUALLY means that all you're doing is writing. (Putting words on 'paper.')

Sometimes studios call their NDs "writers," but that's pretty rare in my experience. Even rarer are studios that separate the two into distinct disciplines (ND and Writer). There's a good GDC talk from a few years back that shows how TellTale did exactly that.

In my experience, the vast majority of NDs handle writing and some other systemic methods of handling story. What this means varies drastically from studio to studio and from project to project - and even from designer to designer. 

A worthwhile exercise is to play a game (I recommend Fallout New Vegas for this, or Remedy’s Control) and look at all the ways story is being delivered: dialog and quests, sure, but also through faction relationship systems, through the objects and art within any given space, through the shapes of the spaces themselves.

As a follow-up, grab Bethesda's GECK and make a playable level with a quest and narrative elements. Maybe even avoid speakers and notes and focus on telling a story through the design of the space and the placement of art. 

You can also use their conversation system to learn how branching dialogs are built (and how reactive dialog is scripted) in Bethesda games of the era.

Which leads me to my first major piece of advice: 

MAKE STUFF

Specifically, make interactive stuff.

Grab a free tool like Twine (super simple/easy) or Unity (a bit more complex, but the tutorials will help a lot, and if you have any background in programming concepts (which you can also learn online if need be - there are entry level computer science lectures from Harvard and MIT available for free on Youtube), it should be reasonably straightforward). Use your toolset to make stuff that you can show to people.

Keep your scope really small and achievable. A tight, evocative experience of ten to fifteen minutes (play time) that is reactive/branching is much better than something messy or unfinished.

Having created work is a huge leg up over the competition in looking for ND jobs, to the point that it's basically expected at this point. (In part because the barrier of entry to create something is so low.) 

There's a lot of reasons for this, including but not limited to: displaying writing chops, displaying an understanding of branching design/interactivity, displaying an ability to complete projects, and good ol' fashioned practice.

One of the reasons that the industry is so focused on credits (or shipped projects) is that they function as proof that you can complete projects – but you don’t have to be on a retail project to make a thing. Nor do you have to do it alone - keep an eye out for game jams you can take part in, for instance.

Meanwhile, run tabletop games (like Dungeons and Dragons, but definitely go further afield as soon as you’re comfortable) for your friends. They’re a far better practice for interactive narrative than writing prose fiction or drama. The instant feedback you get on your choices as a storyteller in tabletop is an incredible teacher of lessons that translate well to videogame development.

Play extensively and widely – and with a critical eye.

By which I don’t mean “be able to talk trash about whatever you play,” but rather “be able to identify some of what the developers are doing with a given project, what it accomplishes, and why you think the devs made the decisions that they did.” (There are a few posts earlier in this blog written with an eye towards developing that skill.)

Practice speaking (with your friends, maybe, or online), preferably with empathy, about things you didn’t think worked in games that you loved or what did work in games you loathed.

Moreover, be confident in talking about things that you feel didn’t work in games that the studios you’re applying at made, and some possibilities for how they may have been improved. Which brings me to…

Learn everything you can about the industry and how development works.

Essentially every industry job interview I’ve ever been in (on either side of the table) has tested for an understanding of game development processes – especially constraints of time and budget. Why wasn’t that thing you didn’t think worked in the game above better? The answer’s usually money or time (which, as the old adage reminds us, are fairly fungible).

You can learn a lot from things like AskAGameDev and any number of YouTube series. (GDC makes a lot of content available for free.) Also articles on https://www.gamedeveloper.com/ . I studied the industry extensively through such resources before I even began interviewing for my first gig, and my understanding of the limitations and difficulties of development were instrumental in me being hired (both for that first job and for the next few jobs that followed - and really probably every job since, but more informed by experience than study as time went on).

A word of warning: work is work. If you join your dream studio, you turn its games into your job. (I’ve done this four times now, so clearly not a strong learner.) It’s worthwhile to identify studios whose games matter to you too much as a player to risk hurting your experience with them by turning them into your profession. Applicable adages advise us not to see how the sausage is made or meet our heroes.

But what about education?

Sooooooooooooooooo, this is a bit of a sticky wicket.

Because little known fact: university is super expensive (at least in the States), and it in no way guarantees employment.

I hesitate to recommend game design programs, especially for undergraduates with no other university experience, doubly especially for people interested in narrative. From what I hear, they seem to tend to favor a kind of wide-spectrum design education rather than encouraging the kind of specialization that helps one stand out in the industry.

Meanwhile, storytelling requires a wide breadth of experience and a strong capacity for research, both of which any number of university tracks can help you gain. And the knowledge gained through most courses of study can be drawn from when creating work.

Instead, I’d advise you to pursue a more general education and really try to live and learn and get to know a wide variety of people while doing so.

Be humble and try to absorb and integrate critique of your work. (It took me an embarrassingly long time to learn this one.)

For diplomas, consider something grounded in liberal arts (literature, history, philosophy) or psychology or politics; ideally this is something you legitimately love, though feel free to hedge your bets by going for something that feels marketable in other industries.

For specific courses, I strongly recommend screenwriting or playwriting (for dialog) and at least basic computer science (for understanding scripting) – though as mentioned above, a lot of learning can be done online. Take history courses if you can, or theatre courses (especially directing). If your university has intro game dev courses that you can take, by all means, do so.

I’d suggest focusing on things that either engage your ability to critically think or require you to make work that then receives feedback.

I majored in literature and theatre, which has served me well, though I wish I’d taken more than a single philosophy course. And gods alive do I wish I’d taken language studies more seriously.

As for graduate education... I don't think my MFA had any significant impact on any role I've gotten, at least not as a piece of paper. The time spent during that program practicing and receiving feedback, on the other hand, had a significant impact on my skill. I don’t think a graduate education is necessarily a waste, but it’s by no means a guarantee of anything. Pursue with care and consideration, and try not to go into debt over it.

 And portfolios??

A portfolio probably isn't wildly useful unless it's either interactive (as mentioned above) or directly related to the kind of work the studio is making (in which case you should call that out). Or if it has some significant success in another medium. Like if you've sold a screenplay that won awards at festivals or some such, definitely make that known and accessible to recruiters.

Which is to say, have a portfolio, but make sure it’s relevant and don’t necessarily volunteer it if it’s not asked for. Better, in my opinion, to provide a link to your best single piece of interactive work, or the one that most closely relates to the job you’re applying for.

Once you've got credits, they become a portfolio of sorts. I personally take video of my work being interacted with and include hyperlinks to it in my cover letter when appropriate.

Generally though, the recruiters will judge you primarily on your resumé, and the hiring ND will likely initially judge you on your cover. Both documents should be clear, concise, humble, tailored specifically to the studio and role, and free of spelling and grammatical errors.

But the major hurdle will be the test. Almost any role you apply for will expect you to do some manner of writing or design test, and that's going to be the primary litmus by which you're judged, because it's going to be specific to both the studio and the project that you're applying to.

And technical ability???

As an ND or Game Writer, you need zero programming – generally speaking. You certainly don't need to have functional fluency in any programming language. 

However, two caveats:

First - technical chops can often help. At the very least, they offer you an edge over other candidates. If I have two great writers applying for a role, and one is clearly more comfortable implementing scripts (in the programming sense of that term) than the other, I'm going to go with them.

Second – a knowledge of CS/programming fundamentals is EXTREMELY useful for any role that isn't pure writing. Your "If/Thens", your "And/Ors" and the like. Your loops and incrementing values and all that basic jazz. 

A job on a branching RPG like they make at Obsidian or Bethesda requires that kind of knowledge, even if it seems from the outside to be mostly words on a screen. That's how you get all of that dense reactivity to player action and character background

Most gigs also require some basic level of technical fluency. You need to know how to use Word and Excel, if not Powerpoint. Many studios will have you working within an editor. (Again, Unity’s a free-to-access example.) Almost every studio uses databases for task and bug tracking, and most use versioning software (which can be learned on the job).

I was in QA for roughly five years before I shifted into design, and I used that time to learn everything I could about the various toolsets and processes at the studios I was at. Test (at a dev studio in particular) can be an excellent route to learning a lot about how games are made. However, if you take this route, you need to do good work in QA. Testing can be a path into other things, but if you treat it like a mere stepping stone, you’ll alienate the very people you’re trying to impress and possibly even get a bad reputation within the relatively small industry. Test is an important role that deserves to be taken seriously, both by the people who are doing it and the people elsewhere in the studio that QA supports.

So what do you WANT to make?

My experience in the small indie space has been MUCH more limited than in the AA/AAA scene. It might be easier to get a gig there, but I never have (in design, I mean), so I can't speak to it.

There's also the question of what you want to make. You don't want to be miserable, and it's perfectly possible to be miserable (or making stuff you don't care about) in either space.

I point this out because it seems to me that there's some difficulty shifting lanes, regardless of which lane you start in.

But if you're looking to make big expensive games, I'd start by looking for AAA gigs (keep an eye out for temp/freelance jobs which can be easier to land than full time roles). And keep an eye out for roles in genres that don't seem immediately obvious. Loads of people in ND want to work on a Mass Effect or BioShock or Uncharted. But FIFA games, racing games, MOBAs, and the like have huge AAA budgets and need writing done on them. And I suspect that it's easier to go from writing on Forza to writing on Red Dead than it is from writing on Max Gentleman Sexy Business (although it shouldn't be, because that game's fucking brilliantly written).

At the same time, if you want to make experimental stuff where you have lots of control over what you're making, shoot for indie instead. Expect to wear more hats in indie, though. Expect to need more technical skills.

And don’t forget mobile. It's relatively easy, as I understand it, to get a role in a mobile studio – they aren’t quite as competitive, but they can be rewarding. 

Basically, aim for the level you want to work at rather than trying to game the system. There's a lot of ways to "work your way up."

That said, I found https://www.gamedevmap.com/ an invaluable resource for knowing what studios were where. Check out the studios that are geographically comfortable for you and start your search for work with them.

Finding the Right Studio

As I mentioned at the top, making games can be hard.

The pay is generally not great (especially contrasted against the amount of money the industry brings in), the work is stressful, and the schedules can be grueling. This is slowly getting a little better, but for the most part, yeah.

There are, however, things you can do to mitigate the risk of ending up somewhere you’re miserable.

Check Glassdoor on places you get interviews with. It helps to know what your red flags are (or the things you can’t deal with in a work environment) and be on the lookout for those things specifically.

Always ask what the interviewer likes and dislikes about the studio.

And during the interview you can absolutely ask what their crunch practices are like, and you should ask about OT, vacation, and sick and parental leave policies.

Google the studio to see if they've been in the news for harassment/crunch/etc. and what if anything they did to respond to that.

There are studios/publishers I know I won't work for based on their ethical failures. There are others that are in the “avoid if possible” column. 

I personally also try to gauge the politics of a studio and factor that in. I consider games incredibly meaningful pieces of media, and I don’t want to work on games that I consider having a net negative impact on the state of the world.

(Though, in fairness, I am fortunate enough to be able to afford to be a little choosey.)

Instability is basically part of the industry, and something you'll almost certainly deal with. And don't be afraid to leave studios that aren't working out (or where you are unhappy working), because churn is expected. I caution you only against leaving multiple studios within a few months of starting.

Keep an eye out for things like non-competes during hiring, and keep in mind that they’re generally negotiable.

Reasonable: you can't work for another studio while you're working for this one (assuming you're full time).

Unreasonable: you can't make personal projects in other media, or you're expected not to work anywhere else within any amount of time after leaving the studio.

NDAs are strict and taken extremely seriously, and I think that this is reasonable.

Some studios, especially large ones, will also try to control your public presentation. That's... reasonable to an extent, but your personal tolerance will vary. So, for me, I don't put my studio name in my Twitter bio or ever represent myself as a representative of the studio or its various corporate overlords, so that my statements aren't construed as statements "by a member of the studio."

I also tend to avoid negativity about games specifically and often other media (though I make occasional exceptions for poor handling of sensitive content). I also have no compunctions about speaking out about harmful work practices at other studios, which I’m aware may end up meaning I won’t get hired at said studios in the unlikely event that I applied there.

People don’t generally want to hire someone who talks a lot of trash publicly about other studios, and they almost never want to hire someone who has been excessively negative about them in the past. (I will probably never get hired by Quantic Dream. Oops!)

This applies outside of games, too. You can’t always know how what you’ve said may impact something later. If, for instance, you’ve spent years railing against, say, Taco Bell’s food, that may become a problem when your studio enters into negotiations to do a licensed strategy RPG about a chihuahua on a quest for the perfect late night snack.

So just, you know, consider whether something negative needs to be said (as in, will saying it help make the world a better place?) before posting it. 

And that’s about it. Feel free to drop me a question, and I’ll try to maybe possibly answer it within something approaching a timely manner.

 <#

Post script! Paul Kirsch, a fellow designer from my time at Obsidian, chronicled his own journey into development here. Check it out!

[acespec-ed]

I've noticed that many folks equate libido levels with feelings towards sex. I think work needs to be done to separate the two concepts. I think that they're two different and independent spectrums that may or may not line up.

Libido level is how often a person gets horny and/or how intensely they feel that horniness. Someone with a high libido is often horny and someone with a low libido is rarely horny. Someone with no libido never gets horny at all.

Feelings towards sex is just that. How one feels about them having sex (or sexual activities). Someone with positive feelings may be sex-favorable. Someone with negative feelings may be sex-averse or repulsed.

And of course, these spectrums have nothing to do with sexual attraction. That's a whole other spectrum. It can be quite complicated when the three spectrums seem to contradict each other. We've already separated sexual attraction from the other two spectrums, but I think it's important to understand that these are three separate spectrums.

Personally, I'm grayace with fluctuating libido and sex-ambivalent. Sometimes I feel averse to sex, but my libido spikes. Sometimes it's the opposite. It's very confusing and frustrating.

I agree. In my mind, it's so simple and easy to divide the spectrums just like that. But I think for a lot of allosexuals, the three are so intertwined that they have trouble separating it. Especially since they have no reason to separate it. They never need to question it because it all works seamlessly for them. Whereas aces typically don't have that sexual attraction component added in. There's no target that drives us to have sex despite having a libido. The libido is just, there, doing it's own thing. And we all have different feelings about sex itself. Most of us end up learning to separate it all in the end to make sense of how our experiences compare with allos. It's part of our whole questioning process. And so many aces felt like they couldn't even be ace at first because of their libido or interest in sex.

And we can add in the fact how different all our experiences are. I'm also a gray ace with a fluctuating libido and sex ambivalent. But for me, I'm only sex favorable the rare instance I feel sexual attraction. When my libido acts up, I'm in the indifferent category though am more open to sexual content. The rest of the time my feelings vary from repulsed to indifferent. So our experiences are a bit different. Despite that, I'm still able to distinguish how different all of the spectrums are mainly because I know what it's like to experience sexual attraction/libido/sex favorability working together like an allo vs what it's like to experience them separately. The difference is huge and I can see why some allos have a hard time understanding the distinction. 

But yeah, it would be nice if that distinction between concepts was more well-known. It really would help out a lot of questioning acespecs and allos who struggle to fathom those of us with libidos and/or sex favorability.

[feminismisstillahatemovement]

Why would someone take the time to go through my entire blog and then not even reblog a post but instead leave snide comments on a different one referencing things from elsewhere I don't even remember saying? This is the first clue that we are not dealing with a mentally well person. The second is how they try to mimic the language of reason but minus any meaningful content, such as

"Your definition of a woman is unstable and shifts and turns with whatever idea you have of a cis woman at that very moment."

No, my and the dictionary's definition of a woman is very simple: "an adult human female". When people ask for more details as to what that means, I give them more details as to what that means. Easy.

"It’s so hypocritical it’s funny you even have a post in which you explain how trans women arent women because they can’t give birth, later in that same post when someone challenges you that that definition rules out sterile women you defend your position by saying they have a menstruation system, proving that you don’t really even care about the concept of “giving birth” or any other bullshit you call “social duties”."

Question: why is "giving birth" in quotes? And without linking to any post that mentions women's traditional "social duties", how am I to even know the context of what they're talking about? Why didn't they just send this as an ask, with links to the posts they're talking about? Again: indications of an impulsive and unstable mind, unable to stop blurting out whatever is raging through their head in any given moment.

I also don't understand why they're having a problem seeing that the process of giving birth and the process of menstruation are the same thing, all part of the female reproduction system. Where's the confusion here?

"proving that you don’t really even care about the concept of “giving birth” or any other bullshit you call “social duties”."

I really don't understand this part at all. Why are they conflating these two things, (along with the word "menstruators") especially when the post doesn't mention any of them? It's not about "caring about the concept", it's simply about describing biological realities of the sexes in order to answer in more depth the question of how to define a woman.

This whole situation is a bit like having an orchard full of apple trees, and one of the trees for some reason doesn't bear any fruit: it doesn't mean that one apple tree, grown from an apple seed, is not an apple tree, it simply means maybe the soil was poor or it didn't get enough rain or sun or something else that prevented it from flowering fully. But on the other hand, if you planted an oak tree in the same forest, it's never in a hundred thousand years going to grow apples, and every one of us knows it. No matter how much you try to believe it's going to grow apples, it's not going to. Because it's not an apple tree. Pointing this out is just helpfully describing reality. And human beings are just as much a part of nature as trees and plants and flowers and mammals and everything else. Really not that complicated.

"“menstruator” is literally what transphobes definition of women boils down to."

Dear reader, no person who's not a) deeply indoctrinated into gender ideology, or b) or a rabid misogynist, or c) both, ever refers to women as "menstruators". Just for your future reference. You'll find this is always correct and so is very helpful. You can thank me later.

Some people may be surprised that I very much agree with JK Rowling on this: the trans issue, and accompanying state-enforced gender ideology has greatly worsened the situation and safety of biological women to a low that would have been unthinkable in previous generations, removing the historical protections of both women and children and replacing them with a surface "equality" that in practice only means everyone is treated equally brutally. There's an open callousness being displayed in the face of violence against women today that men in the past - even 10 years ago - would never have stood for.

The place where her supporters fall down is in their inability to think through where any of this is coming from: it's not the homophobic, bible-bashing, right-wing "Patriarchy" that's loudly pushing for biological males to be allowed in their daughters' changing rooms; it is exclusively originating from other left-wing feminists; the logical real-world end result of the 1970s feminist teaching that "Gender Is A Social Construct".

[bondsmagii]

from one eye avatar to another..how does one keep their sanity when uncovering some Information™️ like i’m helping a youtuber (one of those reddit mystery ones) with this internet mystery and there’s a guy who apparently doesn’t understand the concept of a digital footprint and. he’s genuinely so.. evil? i don’t know what word to use. i have his face and everything and i just keep uncovering more shit and it was fun at first- the dopamine rush of finding all of his accounts, the absurdity of the things he says, the sense of achievement, but now it’s so depressing? he’s actually out there in the real world. it’s not just a funny little reddit mystery. i wanna stop and do more productive things but this guy chronically overshares online and there’s. so much. to go through. it’s like if chris chan fused with patrick bateman. so i’m reading things from his fucked up perspective and it affects my mindset too, but I can’t stop doing it. my mood tends to shift really easily with something as small as the season change or how much sleep i got. and now i’m in such a hopeless, cold?, mood because those are the vibes i get from him. it’s the same feeling as being in a small, sterile, damp and cold room with no furniture and really strong white led lights. i don’t even know how to explain it. basically i need to get off my phone and go outside but my brain doesn’t want to. and while i have decent proof of some of his minor crimes, there is a chance he could just be some guy trolling people online for years. i don’t know.

man I know the exact feeling lmao. I'm really not sure if my advice is worth shit because everyone is different but if I'm being completely honest, if I'm that caught up in something the only thing I can do is ride it out. eventually I'll get to a point where I either know enough (for now) or I'll just get sick of it for whatever reason, or I'll find something that's newer and more interesting. I've found there's no point in trying to prematurely seperate myself from a subject, even if it's intensely unpleasant, because a) I will not be able to focus on anything else well enough that it's worth doing anything and b) I will always come back to the subject until I'm satisfied, and the way I see it, it's better to feel like shit because of an unpleasant topic for a few days/weeks rather than drag it on and on for month, and be thinking about it in my spare time as well.

also, and here is where I show my hand as a real avatar lmao, I find that I don't really have trouble keeping a distance from the things I'm looking at. sometimes the subjects can get a bit heavy, but I usually find myself experiencing feelings of frustration and anger at stupid decisions or utter pointlessness rather than anything personal. I find it very easy to remember my place -- I'm an observer. I'm not there to do anything other than watch and take in information. everything before me has already happened, or is already happening independently of me, and it's not my responsibility. it's none of my business, and I'm an intruder. I should stay in my lane, and remember that it really doesn't have to go any deeper than just watching. and that's what I like to do! I like to watch, and I like to know all of the facts, and I like to be in the Know, but I do not want to get involved or have any kind of personal interaction with the subject/the people involved. this is something I'm very firm with, and so I find it's very easy for me to keep a distance between myself and the subject.

finally, I think it's inevitable that when you read enough about somebody's perspective, it kind of sinks in a little. but with time and practise it becomes much easier to regard this as simple perspective (another kind of knowledge, and nothing more). a very important part of learning is developing the ability to consider the perspectives of others, even if what they're saying is completely deplorable. considering the perspective does not equal agreeing with it, and if your own views and principles are sturdy enough, there's no chance of getting persuaded. it's good to expose yourself to challenges, no matter how unpleasant, because there is no point in having beliefs and morals if they're never tested. I kind of see it as straying into unchartered and possibly dangerous territory, and coming out the other side with something I didn't know before. no matter how unpleasant or seemingly pointless, knowledge is good. you never know when it might come in handy, after all.

finally finally, I think we all go a little insane when finding out Forbidden Things. I do believe that's part of the fun. also I am desperate to know just what it is you've discovered. pacing and gnashing my teeth.

[starlightaxolotl]

2021 Writers Wrapped

it’s the end of 2021, and i’m going through my writing throughout this year and picking a favorite sentence/section from each month!

The original challenge: for every month you wrote, pick a sentence/section and share!  This applies to both published works and wips!

The alternate challenge: pick a sentence/section from your most popular fic, your personal favorite fic that you wrote, and the fic that gave you the most trouble!

Hhhhhhh doing the alternate challenge because I have no idea when I wrote anything at this point I blinked and it's December okay, last week was July. This shit got long so it's under a cut.

Thank you @fabrowrites for the tag. I'm going to tag uhhhhh anyone who wants in, first of all, bc I love reading what other people write, @ninja-go-to-therapy and @peachyyskyy if you two want to :3

Most Popular Fic: With Friends Like This-Lego Ninjago

Brad caught the fake smile. "My mom isn't able to make it this year, but she's sending the supplies we asked for, so we can cause some havoc while she's gone!" He turned to Gene. "What about your folks?"

"Both out of Ninjago for work. They doubt the job will be done by the time Parent's week is here. They're sending a ton of candy to make up for it though." He smiled at Lloyd. "Looks like it'll be the three of us together, huh?"

Lloyd blinked, looking at his friends. Neither of their parents could make it? But...Lloyd had met their parents. They seemed so supportive and perfect, how would they miss something like this?

But...it also meant that for once, Lloyd wouldn't be the only kid without parents visiting. He smiled. "Sounds like we're gonna have a blast!"

Personal Favorite Fic: Swiss Cheese Memory has such a fun concept to play with have this little preview of events to come

He blinked twice at the uninvited guest in his room. The silence was grating on his nerves as they stared at one another.

“Huh…I didn’t think that would work.

No, him talking was decidedly more annoying. “What do you want?”

“I need some help. You like breaking things, right? How about a nice old-fashioned breakout?”

Problem Child (affectionate): Tidal Wave-Ninjago (because one next gen fic wasn't enough I needed an alternate timeline)

“Hi Zane, got your text.” Jay tried to play it off like it wasn’t making him a nervous wreck to see those words. “What’s up buddy?”

“I’ve called to ask if you are alright, Jay. Mr. Borg said you’ve been absent from work due to, and I quote, an emergency, additionally you’ve been tagged in twelve separate posts on chirp by people saying they’ve seen you at the hospital. You can see how this would lead me to worry.”

Jay had completely forgotten to tell the team about what was happening. It was still a lot to process. He’d asked HR to keep the reason behind his absence quiet, and that he’d let people know as necessary, that he just needed time to understand all of this first.

“Oh.” Was all Jay could muster. “I’m fine Zane, I promise, physically healthy as a horse.”

“Is your father unwell?” Zane’s voice was kind, and Jay swallowed at the thought. His dad hadn’t been too great since his mom passed away a year ago. Jay shook his head, remembering Zane couldn’t see.

“Dad’s fine, really, everyone is fine. It’s...complicated."

Honorable Mentions:

This opening I ditched for the origins in FT,NA

It’s easy to pretend that peace will last forever. We get so content in the motions of everyday life that even simple challenges and changes feel like a fatal wound. We have grown soft in this peace. We lower our guards because we feel that nothing bad will happen. We grow foolish, we lose our vigilance until it is too late. By the time we see our mistakes, the greatest losses have occurred.

There will be time to grieve, but not until every other emotion and every effort to fix the mistake have failed. Not until everything you have built has crumbled around you. Not until your world has sufficiently shattered in front of your eyes. Your peace was never permanent.

And yet you still hope as time goes on that the peace you knew will return.

You hope that this will pass.

You hope that this is the right thing.

You hope for some kind of closure.

You hope to be found.

Yes, that is where we differ, isn’t it? You hope, whereas I know.

This little delightful thing

“I recommend you behave if you want to live to see the end of the day.” He didn’t think the word ‘behave’ needed to be explained, it was such a simple word and any organism with half of a brain should have been able to figure out what that might entail.

Just proud of the wording on this snippet, it was also very fun to write.

There were two things in the world that Pigsy prioritized over everything else: his restaurant and his family. The two were intrinsically linked after all. Pigsy’s love for cooking stemmed from the lessons his grandmother had given him from a young age. His grandmother had been the one championing for him to open his own restaurant almost a decade ago. She had made sure his whole family showed up to be his first paying customers when the shop opened nine years ago. Of course, he had refused to let them pay for their meals which led to them insisting to buy the meals of the next people who came into his restaurant, and then it just kept continuing that day.

The restaurant was what led to him meeting Tang, the royal pain in his ass that he was at first that quickly wormed his way into Pigsy’s heart. There were times Pigsy would joke that Tang only married him for the ‘free noodles’ which the other never outright denied…he simply claimed that was one of the many perks.

Have one last snippet for the road.

“You’re safe,” Red’s voice was sleepy, and he pulled MK back down into the pile of blankets and pillows, strong arms wrapping around him. “It’s disgustingly early in the morning. We’re in our apartment. You’re safe.”

[starribyrd]

The only times I've had successful "relationships" is when both parties go in expecting nothing and we put no labels until someone thrusts them on us and we're like "I suppose by your definition yes". Whether someone else would describe that as a aro-ace relationship honestly matters very little to me. I end up as partners with people because we just fall into each other as best friends who wanna live life together.

When I've focused on the question of "are we a thing?" it never ends well because I don't see it through a romantic or sexual lens. Even if by other standards it is a romantic/sexual relationship. Only when I shed the ideas of such concepts do I really feel like I connect with another person. We don't care about putting labels on it, we know we love one another deeply and like siblings or cousins or whatever family enthusiasm you wanna apply to it we wanna see the other grow and do well in life.

I'm happy saying those people are my life partners, they're the people that would stand by me regardless of how the winds change and the climate shifts. I place my faith in them and they place their faith in me for more then just emotional or bodily needs. We put our future in the others hands with a smile and a understanding we'll do good by one another.

This is natural, social animals need socialization and those they can trust, very few people can live without it and honestly at times I envy those people. It's a confusing and honestly spooky landscape to navigate that's full of holes and pitfalls and any one of them can lead to a nasty experience for everyone involved. But I wouldn't trade in my connections with the people I love for the world. The mutual pain we share when one of us gets bad news is as real as the mutual happiness we share when one of us gets good news.

I've thought strongly about how I would personally identify and although other alters in the system may see it as romantic or sexual... I don't. I view it as a natural extension of the friendships I create with people.

Yes indeed, we are roommates and "life partners" and all the other things most people say is just queer people hiding their relationships in plain sight. The shared experience of life is a confusing and strange one, and one that I don't care to constrain to a narrow box.

Just like my gender identity, I don't like boiling it down so simply. I'm aro-ace in the same way I'm cis non-binary (intersex). I am a confusing creature with life experiences and feelings that putting into a neat box makes me scream. Life is messy and labels are silly to me. I simply am, and should you wish to know more, I invite you to ask. But never to put me in some simple box. All feelings exist on a spectrum, and living in that in-between feels the best.

Grayromantic, graysexual, whatever, honestly I mostly apply labels to myself for others sake. I've always applied queer labels to myself for other folks sake and not my own. When I truly asked myself why I did it, I could come up with no other reason. The simplest I feel comfortable boiling it down is I'm a gay boy lesbian fox girl who's on the ace and aro spectrum but isn't afraid to engage with romantic or sexual contact if it makes my friends happy and if I got nothing better to do, why not spend some time making them happy?

It certainly makes me happy seeing them satisfied when I get all romantic or we have bedroom time together... but I don't feel that same distinct between romantic, sexual and platonic attraction. That's not a easy thing to put in a box, I'm sure it exists but... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ not my problem to find it or make it a label. I wouldn't call myself a baker if I help my partner bake some bread, I'm mostly doing it to spend time with her. Why should I call myself sexual or romantic if my logic remains the same?

I owe no one else a explanation for my excessive queerness. I'm happy just being a little creature who skitters in between it all. I am who I am, and I don't need to put a hard and fast label on it. I'm happy just living life in my unique queer way.

Hope something in there is useful for your own journey friend. If not, I hope my take is at the very least, interesting to read and gave you something to think on even if you think my points are silly.

Sometimes I find myself caught in a rather unhelpful thought loop of whether I'm actually acearo because I have partners that I deeply love. What does sexual or romantic attraction truly actually mean to me? What's the difference between a platonic and romantic relationship, where is the line crossed? Am I even valid for taking up that identity if I, by my own admission, see them as life partners?

Then I look into their eyes, at their face, the smiles we've shared and the tears we've shed together. The silly side quests and the terrible times we've been through together. All of the faith and respect we've built up in one another, and I realize that I don't really care if someone else would claim our relationship romantic or not. It doesn't make it any less valid what others would say.

I love my friends, I love the people who I've decided to live my life with through the boring, the depressing, and the happy times. I wouldn't want to live any other way then cuddling my besties to sleep and holding their hands to remind them I'm here for them. Is it romance? Is it platonic? I don't know, and honestly when I step back I see the distinction as silly. I love them, the label others apply to our relationship is unimportant.

I know I'd die for them and they'd do the same for me. Love isn't something that I can put into a neat little box like some folk can between platonic, romantic, and sexual. Love is love is love in my world, and thats okay and just as valid as whether I put a neat little label on the relationship as other people do.

Happy pride y'all, love yourselves and those who make life worth living. Love in the ways that only you can. Whether the distinction matters to you is personal, and no one else should dictate that. Be yourself authentically, that's what the month is for.