#Format And Structure

[physalian]

How to make your writing sound less stiff

Just a few suggestions. You shouldn’t have to compromise your writing style and voice with any of these, and some situations and scenes might demand some stiff or jerky writing to better convey emotion and immersion. I am not the first to come up with these, just circulating them again.

1. Vary sentence structure.

This is an example paragraph. You might see this generated from AI. I can’t help but read this in a robotic voice. It’s very flat and undynamic. No matter what the words are, it will be boring. It’s boring because you don’t think in stiff sentences. Comedians don’t tell jokes in stiff sentences. We don’t tell campfire stories in stiff sentences. These often lack flow between points, too.

So funnily enough, I had to sit through 87k words of a “romance” written just like this. It was stiff, janky, and very unpoetic. Which is fine, the author didn’t tell me it was erotica. It just felt like an old lady narrator, like Old Rose from Titanic telling the audience decades after the fact instead of living it right in the moment. It was in first person pov, too, which just made it worse. To be able to write something so explicit and yet so un-titillating was a talent. Like, beginner fanfic smut writers at least do it with enthusiasm.

2. Vary dialogue tag placement

You got three options, pre-, mid-, and post-tags.

Leader said, “this is a pre-dialogue tag.”

“This,” Lancer said, “is a mid-dialogue tag.”

“This is a post-dialogue tag,” Heart said.

Pre and Post have about the same effect but mid-tags do a lot of heavy lifting.

They help break up long paragraphs of dialogue that are jank to look at

They give you pauses for ~dramatic effect~

They prompt you to provide some other action, introspection, or scene descriptor with the tag. *don't forget that if you're continuing the sentence as if the tag wasn't there, not to capitalize the first word after the tag. Capitalize if the tag breaks up two complete sentences, not if it interrupts a single sentence.

It also looks better along the lefthand margin when you don’t start every paragraph with either the same character name, the same pronouns, or the same “ as it reads more natural and organic.

3. When the scene demands, get dynamic

General rule of thumb is that action scenes demand quick exchanges, short paragraphs, and very lean descriptors. Action scenes are where you put your juicy verbs to use and cut as many adverbs as you can. But regardless of if you’re in first person, second person, or third person limited, you can let the mood of the narrator bleed out into their narration.

Like, in horror, you can use a lot of onomatopoeia.

Drip Drip Drip

Or let the narration become jerky and unfocused and less strict in punctuation and maybe even a couple run-on sentences as your character struggles to think or catch their breath and is getting very overwhelmed.

You can toss out some grammar rules, too and get more poetic.

Warm breath tickles the back of her neck. It rattles, a quiet, soggy, rasp. She shivers. If she doesn’t look, it’s not there. If she doesn’t look, it’s not there. Sweat beads at her temple. Her heart thunders in her chest. Ba-bump-ba-bump-ba-bump-ba- It moves on, leaving a void of cold behind. She uncurls her fists, fingers achy and palms stinging from her nails. It’s gone.

4. Remember to balance dialogue, monologue, introspection, action, and descriptors.

The amount of times I have been faced with giant blocks of dialogue with zero tags, zero emotions, just speech on a page like they’re notecards to be read on a stage is higher than I expected. Don’t forget that though you may know exactly how your dialogue sounds in your head, your readers don’t. They need dialogue tags to pick up on things like tone, specifically for sarcasm and sincerity, whether a character is joking or hurt or happy.

If you’ve written a block of text (usually exposition or backstory stuff) that’s longer than 50 words, figure out a way to trim it. No matter what, break it up into multiple sections and fill in those breaks with important narrative that reflects the narrator’s feelings on what they’re saying and whoever they’re speaking to’s reaction to the words being said. Otherwise it’s meaningless.

—

Hope this helps anyone struggling! Now get writing.

[zorangezest]

(part 4) fun for the whole family continues!!

did you spot rumble? :)

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[quess-art]

Rain - The Dark Urge Memento Comic

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[miamaimania]

"Hematite Iron Rose" by Juan - Metallic petals form intricate layers, capturing the mineral's natural elegance.

[wisteriagoesvroom]

interesting soundbites you might've missed from the op81 & howie games podcast in melb

(did this while procrastinating at work... we are so back i guess.)

disclaimers: (i) i'm paraphrasing here so can't vouch for 100% accuracy, but as much as possible have tried to capture the meaning (ii) the word association game and the carcar soundbite have already made the rounds, but, i feel like, there was a lot more in this interview.

let's go!

on the topic of personal chefs and nutrition etc: host mark howard asks if the menu changes or there's anything special that oscar requests that reminds him of home -- apparently race week thursdays for a while were "chicken parm thursdays" and they might bring this back

oscar's lunch on press day was barramundi and "the big grained couscous with no spices" (oscar... the 1/16th is crying out for help)

one of the reasons he renewed with mclaren is because he felt the infrastructure and people needed to get to the championship in the new set of regs was there, so he was confident

on the reported $22mn bonus last year: oscar denies that it was this high (lol ok sir)

on longevity of career and responsibility: oscar talks about the estimated career in f1 usually being up to 35, maybe into your 40s but "it isn't like a typical career where you've got until your 60s" so financial investing and doing something with your salary to prolong the usability of it is important (wow 20something multimillionaire thinks of his pension. mature)

on the early RC cars: "i drove one around the school [cricket] oval a few times and that got me in trouble" pLeaSe !!!

recounting his first race at oakleigh (he was about... 9? 10?): "i went to a friend's birthday at the bmx track and did the last jump of the day before we went for the race. and i skidded down the down ramp on my face, so i actually missed it" HE REALLY WAS JUST SOME KID

so his real first race was a state race (with a P/provisional drivers' plate) HAHAHAH. he fought his way about half way up the pack in this one

"my first win... i won a club race at oakleigh and it felt like a world championship at the time. and then i quickly realised no one cared" <- once again devastated by his deadpan humour

on aus footie: "i was good in the under 9s cus i was pretty big as a kid up till that point and then everyone else grew and i didn't, then quickly realised i wouldn't become a footballer no matter how much i wanted it. i was playing footie a lot before i started racing and [the demands of racing then] really took up a whole season"

he also fielded in cricket at state level (?) a couple of times here and there. [i don't understand cricket terminology fully so i might be wrong here]

he was starstruck when meeting jackie stewart and alain prost because it was "pretty special, pretty cool. to meet legends of the sport like that."

he downplays the question about whether it was hard to move to boarding school, because he wanted to become a professional racing driver so badly and was always really motivated by this.

but does say formula renault was hard because of everything he felt he had to balance that year, and when things were not going well it feels very pressurised especially when you have only a year to prove yourself

on sponsorship and racing: "i'm fortunate to have a family that are pretty well off and it didn't become apparent until i entered f2 [that it was a big financial strain]. it costs about three million AUD a year [to fund a year in that series]"

credits both his parents for the sacrifices they made to support his racing career and shouts out his mum for making sure his sisters had the same opportunities to pursue their dreams as well

about the alpine purgatory years: "that was a tough thing because not everyone knows the full story and we weren't able to tell it. it was not an easy thing to go through but once i cemented my future and signed with mclaren, it was a relief to know i was going to be on the grid for at least a little bit"

to put the current margins on the cars into perspective: "the amount of difference between me and the car in front is the time it takes to blink".

and on car development being so advanced now: "there being something like a second between first car and last on the grid in qualifying is pretty unprecedented"

does he watch drive to survive seasons? "to be honest not really. i just skim through and see my parts to see if they've painted me as a supervillain. [this year's] is pretty balanced i would say. the mclaren episode is a pretty fair reflection of two competitive guys wanting to win races and it being a difficult situation for the team. it's entertaining but that one is for the most part pretty accurate. i found it quite entertaining."

during the drivers' word association part: "i don't have much for Stroll" FLKJKFJSDKLJSDK he really went *mariah carey voice* i don't know her

race weeks are scheduled down the minute, and on off weeks it's usually training every day at least once or twice a day; they get maybe 2-3 days at home. last year he reckons he spent 100 days at home in monaco last year, and was on at least 48-60 flights for work depending if you count the ones going to and from the MTC

howie told him to share his airline points (ha) and oscar said "qantas is the one airline i don't have platinum status at the moment [though] i used to when i lived in aus"

oscar does not own a boat in monaco (YET)

finds life in monaco a little bit of an adjustment due to the smaller spaces, but he's been in apartments even since boarding school so it's not a big deal to him. "i'm going to sound like a complete wanker if i complain about living in monaco"

on communication style on the radio, it's kind of about personal preference and he doesn't cast judgment on that – "some people need to be fired up, some people need to be calm and for me it's staying calm. in baku you can see from the onboard and my helmet i got pretty excited but i don't always open the radio for that"

howie closes with any advice for kids. oscar says: "enjoy it. for me, even – we've spoken about how difficult it is being in f1 and how cutthroat – [it's] always taking a conscious moment to reflect that you're doing a thing you love. doing it because you love it is the first thing. that's an important one for me even though there's so much more pressure now than when i started my first race at oakleigh. the second part is always be trying to learn, and improving. it's often easy when you have success early on, you think you're at that [certain] level now. but on my journey i've learned what's good 12 months ago isn't going to be good enough in 12 months time. that's in the car too. if we raced last year's car this year we'd probably be last. continuing to learn and improve is a part i enjoy as well."

[elumish]

My true genuine wish for the very shortly upcoming new year (hello from Still 2024) is that everyone who thinks that fanfiction is better than all professional/published fiction reads more published fiction.

Not because I think fanfiction is bad, or even because I think that it's inherently worse than published fiction, but because there are amazing, innovative, clever things happening in published fiction that I have not seen in fanfiction (just as there are amazing, innovative, clever things in fanfiction that I don't see in published fiction), and you are genuinely missing out by only reading fanfiction.

Read N. K. Jemisin. Read Arkady Martine. Read Tamsyn Muir. Read Jane Austen. Read Brandon Sanderson. Read Nora Roberts. Read Tracy Deonn. Read Tamora Pierce. Read John Chu. Read Ursula K. Le Guin.

Find genres that you like, find authors that you like, and read published fiction. You will be better for it.

[tinartss]

doodling while listening to stereos is peak relaxation activity…guess which one i listened to again today LOL

[mindthewitch]

An actual hannibal wallpaper (free to use ofc)

[dichromaniac]

Man is out here dropping thirst traps on national television and I just can't with him.

[nattikay]

Correcting the Na'vi in the "Activist Survival Guide" Masterpost

A little over a year ago I made a post correcting some of the fake Na'vi in the Avatar: an Activist Survival Guide book based on some images taken from it that I saw in another post. Since then I've gotten my hands on digital copy of the full book and therefore found even more fake Na'vi terms and sentences, and I decided to make a single massive post to fix them all.

I was originally gonna do it as a regular tumblr post, but then decided to make it a google doc instead for the sake of having more formatting options.

Here's the document, enjoy, fellow nerds.

[f-imaginings]

I'VE FINALLY FINISHED THE CHAPTER!!!! WOOOO~~~

Now I have a whopping 116 pages to proofread hahaha. Intimidating.

But the actual writing part! Done! I am cheering! I'm doing cartwheels and flips and shit! WOOHOO!!!!

[physalian]

How to Make Your Writing Less Stiff Part 3

Crazy how one impulsive post has quickly outshined every other post I have made on this blog. Anyway here’s more to consider. Once again, I am recirculating tried-and-true writing advice that shouldn’t have to compromise your author voice and isn’t always applicable when the narrative demands otherwise.

Part 1

Part 2

1. Eliminating to-be verbs (passive voice)

Am/is/are/was/were are another type of filler that doesn’t add anything to your sentences.

There were fireworks in the sky tonight. /// Fireworks glittered in the sky tonight.

My cat was chirping at the lights on the ceiling. /// My cat chirped at the lights on the ceiling.

She was standing /// She stood

He was running /// He ran

Also applicable in present tense, of which I’ve been stuck writing lately.

There are two fish-net goals on either end of the improvised field. /// Two fish-net goals mark either end of the improvised field.

For once, it’s a cloudless night. /// For once, the stars shine clear.

Sometimes the sentence needs a little finagling to remove the bad verb and sometimes you can let a couple remain if it sounds better with the cadence or syntax. Generally, they’re not necessary and you won’t realize how strange it looks until you go back and delete them (it also helps shave off your word count).

Sometimes the to-be verb is necessary. You're writing in past-tense and must convey that.

He was running out of time does not have the same meaning as He ran out of time, and are not interchangeable. You'd have to change the entire sentence to something probably a lot wordier to escape the 'was'. To-be verbs are not the end of the world.

2. Putting character descriptors in the wrong place

I made a post already about motivated exposition, specifically about character descriptions and the mirror trope, saying character details in the wrong place can look odd and screw with the flow of the paragraph, especially if you throw in too many.

She ties her long, curly, brown tresses up in a messy bun. /// She ties her curls up in a messy brown bun. (bonus alliteration too)

Generally, I see this most often with hair, a terrible rule of threes. Eyes less so, but eyes have their own issue. Eye color gets repeated at an exhausting frequency. Whatever you have in your manuscript, you could probably delete 30-40% of the reminders that the love interest has baby blues and readers would be happy, especially if you use the same metaphor over and over again, like gemstones.

He rolled his bright, emerald eyes. /// He rolled his eyes, a vibrant green in the lamplight.

To me, one reads like you want to get the character description out as fast as possible, so the hand of the author comes in to wave and stop the story to give you the details. Fixing it, my way or another way, stands out less as exposition, which is what character descriptions boil down to—something the audience needs to know to appreciate and/or understand the story.

3. Lacking flow between sentences

Much like sentences that are all about the same length with little variety in syntax, sentences that follow each other like a grocery list or instruction manual instead of a proper narrative are difficult to find gripping.

Jack gets out a stock pot from the cupboard. He fills it with the tap and sets it on the stove. Then, he grabs russet potatoes and butter from the fridge. He leaves the butter out to soften, and sets the pot to boil. He then adds salt to the water.

From the cupboard, Jack drags a hefty stockpot. He fills it with the tap, adds salt to taste, and sets it on the stove.

Russet potatoes or yukon gold? Jack drums his fingers on the fridge door in thought. Russet—that’s what the recipe calls for. He tosses the bag on the counter and the butter beside it to soften.

This is just one version of a possible edit to the first paragraph, not the end-all, be-all perfect reconstruction. It’s not just about having transitions, like ‘then’, it’s about how one sentence flows into the next, and you can accomplish better flow in many different ways.

4. Getting too specific with movement.

I don’t see this super often, but when it happens, it tends to be pretty bad. I think it happens because writers feel the need to overcompensate and over-clarify on what’s happening. Remember: The more specific you get, the more your readers are going to wonder what’s so important about these details. This is fiction, so every detail matters.

A ridiculous example:

Jack walks over to his closet. He kneels down at the shoe rack and tugs his running shoes free. He walks back to his desk chair, sits down, and ties the laces.

Unless tying his shoes is a monumental achievement for this character, all readers would need is:

Jack shoves on his running shoes.

*quick note: Do not add "down" after the following: Kneels, stoops, crouches, squats. The "down" is already implied in the verb.

This also happens with multiple movements in succession.

Beth enters the room and steps on her shoelace, nearly causing her to trip. She kneels and ties her shoes. She stands upright and keeps moving.

Or

Beth walks in and nearly trips over her shoelace. She sighs, reties it, and keeps moving.

Even then, unless Beth is a chronically clumsy character or this near-trip is a side effect of her being late or tired (i.e. meaningful), tripping over a shoelace is kind of boring if it does nothing for her character. Miles Morales’ untied shoelaces are thematically part of his story.

Sometimes, over-describing a character’s movement is meant to show how nervous they are—overthinking everything they’re doing, second-guessing themselves ad nauseam. Or they’re autistic coded and this is how this character normally thinks as deeply methodical. Or, you’re trying to emphasize some mundanity about their life and doing it on purpose.

If you’re not writing something where the extra details service the character or the story at large, consider trimming it.

—

These are *suggestions* and writing is highly subjective. Hope this helps!

[theygender]

Going to college as a nontraditional student with an office job is kinda funny bc now when a professor messes things up in a way that fucks me over instead of being like "omg this authority figure is so unfair 😭" I'm approaching it more with the vibe of like "if Karen from Accounting doesn't fix this mistake that's hindering my work after my third passive aggressive email I'm going to CC her boss"

[shoezuki]

group project update: planning to decapitate myself in frony of my group tomorrow.

[ghost--queer]

I’m so sorry anytime I’ve laughed in my head about fanfic writers making Crystal sound so British, bc trying to write Charles’ speech pattern is actually going to kill my American ass