#Free teleprompter

[spacemains]

Free teleprompter

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Facial Recognition: Good or Bad? - Guiding Tech As facial recognition becomes more commonplace, it's necessary to consider if this technology violates the privacy of tech consumers.Facial recognition in most cases is well-intended….

For example, as a YouTuber, you can practice reading out your scripts, prepare to deliver a speech…

#Free teleprompter for android

5 Best Teleprompter Apps for Android Teleprompter apps can be useful in many situations.

How Do You Use Teleprompter Apps?ĭo you make use of Teleprompter apps in your life? How? Let us know in the comments below. LCD4Video is for beginners or for people who want a simple app to use one or two times.

#Free teleprompter pro

IPrompt Pro also has great document management so if you have more than a couple of documents, iPrompt Pro is the easy choice. IPrompt Pro, as the title suggests, has a lot more features and gives you more control over the playback, including font adjustment, while LCD4Video does not. iPrompt Pro vs LCD4Video: Which Is For You? The great thing about LCD4Video is that you can edit the text while it is scrolling. Use the Refresh type button next to the Done button to use the mirroring mode. From the toolbar at the top you can change scrolling speed, text size, and start delay. All you need to do is paste in your script and tap the Start button to get going. To get rid of that, change the Remote Type in the settings to None. There’s also a prompt that verifies you’re not using a remote every time you start playing. IPrompt Pro is a free app but you’ll have to sit through an ad for teleprompter remote controls the app maker sells. The playback will take up the entire screen and you can tap once on the screen to pause it or tap twice for options (and to exit). To start playing a file, tap the Share button and select Start. Tap the + button on the top right, paste in the text from your paper or script, and give it a title. When it comes to prompter settings we have orientation mode, scrolling speed, an external display connector, and a Mirrored display option for the pros. From here you can change the font, font color, size, and the background color to suit your needs. On the left pane you’ll see a lot of settings. IPrompt Pro’s design hasn’t been updated since iOS 6 but that crime is easy to forgive after taking a look at its features. All you need to do is launch the apps, turn on the mirroring mode, and slide in the iPad. For under a thousand dollars you can get iPad compatible equipment. Teleprompting for pros: For pros who don’t want to spend thousands of dollars on teleprompting equipment, there exist slightly cheaper options.

#Free teleprompter tv

It can be the rehearsal for your kindergartner’s first school event, to hosting the biggest debate competition in the state, to an actual TV show (or maybe a YouTube video). Of course a teleprompter can be used in any event that involves public speaking. The text doesn’t have to scroll, it can serve as a note as well. Where Can This Teleprompter App Be Useful?Īny time you want to show some text across the hall to someone. For instance, today we’ll learn how you can turn your iPad into a teleprompter complete with user controlled scrolling speed, external display support and even a mirroring feature for true pros. iPads, being iPads, can do things laptops and phones cannot.

[deltonki]

Free teleprompter

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Save your settings at the end of a session and PromptDog will automatically restore those settings at the start of your next session.Control text size, font, line spacing and invert black text on white background directly from the.UTF8 unicode support for non English languages and special characters.Instantly jump to a specific word or phrase in both the script editor and operator window.Super fast mouse wheel rewind to back up a few lines for rapid re-takes.Pause and restart prompter at same scroll speed (via space bar or remote).Adjust prompter speed with mouse scroll wheel, up/down arrow keys, laptop trackpad or compatible remote controls!.

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While PromptDog truly is the world’s easiest software teleprompter (no expensive teleprompter hardware is required to get started), this tool alone has the features to grow with you as your productions grow in sophistication:

Free teleprompter windows 8#

Windows 2000, XP, Vista, Windows 7 or Windows 8

Type justification (Left, Center or Right).

Universal binary that runs on both PowerPC and Intel-based Macs.

Unicode/Multi-language support (flipped/unflipped or unflipped/unflipped).

Multiple resolutions, multiple monitors.

The scrolling settings you make stay with the file. Prompt! saves its own file format so you can import text for the talent to read and then adjust the settings and then give the application and the file to your on-camera person to practice at their leisure in their own environment regardless of platform, either Macintosh or Windows. txt format as well as saved with a native Prompt!. Text can be imported and exported to and from the application in the standard. Simple is the key to Prompt! as it scrolls text, either mirrored or not and has simple word processing functions (like cut, copy, paste and whatever you decide to type from within the program). » Download MirrorScript v4.0 (Multilingual, 0.6 MB) The other versions are alternatives just in case you have any trouble getting v4.0 to work on your system. We offer four versions of our software, the latest being v4.0. Best of all, unlike many of the other, expensive software packages out there, our free teleprompter software scrolls smoothly, without any sort of jerky motion. You can do mirror image text with the software so that when it starts scrolling, the reflection in your beam splitter mirror reverses it back to normal text. All you have to do to get started is copy & paste your text right into the program window, or use it as a text editor to create your speech from scratch. We make it incredibly easy to get started delivering your speech with your teleprompter. Don’t waste your money, download our spyware-free teleprompter software today! If you like our software, please consider supporting our company by linking us on your website or purchasing one of our affordable Teleprompter products. Not only is our software still free, but it’s actually better than most of the expensive programs on the market. You can customize the text of your speech to any easy-to-read size and colors you want. It scrolls incredibly smoothly, has many different speed options, and can handle longer scripts. We redesigned our MirrorScript teleprompter software from square one to improve it in every way.

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Intuitive Windows 8/7/Vista/XP Freeware for Your PC

[marisatomay]

we’re going to have to hear about nepo baby discourse at the oscars huh

[aroyrichardson]

S4E11: What is Run of Show - Live Stream Planning

If you fail to plan... Yeah, you know. This episode we talk about creating a "Run of Show" for your YouTube Live Streams with @DrElo #Podcast

So are your livestreams or recorded videos a disorganized mess? This episode we talk about how to organize your “run of show”, your show flow, your script for your show with my guest, Dr. Elo, yes, that Dr. Elo. We will also talk about scripts, worksheets, and teleprompters. I don’t use a teleprompter but you might or you might want to. You can use these for your show. Even if you are doing a…

[gothicprep]

wife & i are watching quiet on the set, the nickelodeon documentary, and tbh I really think the way it’s directed really undercuts the weight of the subject material. it suffers from the same problem that, frankly, a lot of docs have where one interviewee will say two sentences, and then it’ll volley to someone else. rinse and repeat. and it takes essentially like six people to complete a paragraph.

additionally, in the alternate universe where I’d directed, my notes would be “relax your back and shoulders. talk to me like you’re talking to an old friend over dinner, not like you’re talking to Barbara walters. there’s no script on the teleprompter, just a PowerPoint presentation style list of what you said to, I don’t know, Susan or something, when we first talked to you so we can stay on track. but what I need from you is to tell this in your own words. feel free to shuffle around in your seat. as long as you don’t piss on the floor, you’re free to do whatever.”

there’s also some lady in this who works for insider included for… I don’t know why she’s here. i guess to narrativize? and she’s talking with this awful shit-eating grin on her face like she’s about to tell me tomorrow’s forecast. please get her out of here.

[gothcsz]

𝑻𝒉𝒐𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒇𝒂𝒓𝒆 / Chapter V.

PAIRING: Javier Peña x Original Female Character

SUMMARY: Down on the west coast, we got a saying...

WORD COUNT: 6.1k

RATING: 18+ Mature topics such as sex, drugs, murder, the occult, religion, cannibalism and other triggering matters will be explored in this body of work. Minors DNI.

CHAPTER SPECIFIC TAGS: A sexy performance by our main character, he's absolutely whipped, THEY HUG FOR THE FIRST TIME !!, is it really a slow burn if they don't yearn for one another, an insufferable dad, speaking of dad back on my dbf!Javi bs, other things that I'm probably forgetting.

DISCLAIMER/WARNINGS: The Javier Peña referenced in this body of work is solely based off of the character that appears in Netflix’s Narcos and not the actual person. Very canon divergent and I will tweak things as I see fit to compliment the narrative of this story. While efforts have been made to be accurate in terms of canon timeline, a lot of details will be fictionalized, including the usage of the song(s) that Paloma will perform throughout the story.

A/N: hi friends! hope you all enjoy this chapter, i was completely smitten while writing this since i'm such a needy little thing when it comes to a good slow burn ship lmfao also i love how we've all collectively decided that javi is lana del rey coded like SO true bestie !! like i love me some flirty!Javi okay sue me !! let him flirt with all the women !! anyways feel free to drop any type of feedback/support on this blog or ao3. i'd really appreciate it <3

♰  read on ao3. ♰

♰  playlist | pinterest | series masterlist ♰

Paloma is feeling wildly fervent tonight, a side effect of the eventful days she’s been having. She’s been buzzing with excitement to get up on the stage and exude all the feelings she’s been wrapped up in through music.

Between Javier’s ‘will they won’t they’ repartee and August’s piquant personality; these men have been bending her will to remain strong. It’s a peculiar thing, reminiscent to the stories she reads or movies she watches.

Paloma hasn’t stopped to think about it in a logical sense, where these newfound ‘relationships’ can go, and frankly she doesn’t want to stop and think. She just wants to be… to allow herself to indulge in the pleasantries of the attention.  

She’s at the bar two hours before she’s set to do her gig, cheerfully enjoying the company of her best friend as she drinks her signature root beer and muddled cherry mocktail. She eyes the new karaoke machine that’s just recently been acquired and leans in to get Sloane’s attention.

“Has anyone used it?” She gestures to the machine and Slo shakes her head, wiping down the counter. 

“No, but I think you’d be the perfect person to break it in. Pretty sure I saw some Madonna songs on there…” Sloane tells her in a sing-song tone, causing Paloma’s eyes to light up and she hops off the bar stool to walk up to the stage where it was. It consisted of a large television set and the actual karaoke machine.

She plays around with it for a second, familiarizing herself with the controls before she’s skimming through the dozens of available songs.

The evening crowd has started to file in, she doesn’t even realize since she’s been too busy figuring the machine out. She lets out a delighted sound of glee once she sees that Like a Prayer is one of the available songs and wastes no time in selecting it.

The song begins and she takes her position on the stage, few eyes on her. She doesn’t even need the large teleprompter for the lyrics. Bringing the microphone up to her lips, she begins to sing the intro softly…

♫

Paloma sways her hips when she needs to, keeping up with the song as it’s one of her all time favorites. She’s done a variant of this performance in her bedroom with her hair brush many of times.

As the final notes of the song fade away, Paloma finds herself nearly breathless, her heart still racing from how fun it was. The applause washes over her like a wave, enveloping her in a blanket of appreciation. With a wide smile adorning her face, she gracefully bows and waves to the audience before delicately placing the microphone back on its stand. As the jukebox resumes its melody, filling the void left by her absence, Paloma makes her way back to her spot at the bar counter, basking in the warmth of the moment.

“You know how to put on a show!” The compliment comes from a redhead sitting in the stool closest to her.

“Thank you.” Paloma’s mouth curves into a smile as she eyes her. A bride sash draped horizontally over her torso with the small veil clipped in her hair and she’s dressed in all white. There’s three other woman behind her whom she assumes is the bridal party. “And congratulations.” She raises her glass that had been replenished courtesy of her best friend.

They cheers then engage in some small talk when the bride, Wendy, confirms to Paloma that they are out for her bachelorette celebration. They had some car troubles in the middle of their travels to Austin which led to a rest stop here in Seminary until morning.

It wasn’t how she had planned to celebrate the trip, but there was nothing she could do about it so she’s making the best of the situation.

This has an idea pop into Paloma’s head, empathetic as ever, and she says her goodbyes once the band arrives. The plan is simple enough; perform some of her more sultry songs for the stranded bridal party in hopes to make their night a little more entertaining. It doesn’t take much before she’s got her band on board, tapping on the microphone to get everyone’s attention when she returns to the stage.

Javier did not plan on being at The Whiskey Fox tonight, especially with the lack of sleep he’s endured recently. Not that he hasn’t dealt with it before, but it’s been on an unforgiving incline as of late.

The worst part about his insomnia is how inconsistent it can be. He could go weeks with little to no sleep then suddenly a period where it’s all he does. Hasn’t hit the latter of the cycle just yet, but he can feel it creeping up on him at an agonizing pace.

It’s a complete shit show and infuriatingly lonely. He wouldn’t admit to it, however.

Exhausting himself throughout the day with hopes that he’ll be bone-tired by the end of the night, he makes an impromptu stop at the bar where hopefully a glass or two of bourbon will have him easing into sleep the second he makes it home.

It’s a long shot, nothing irregular of what he does on a regular night, but fuck he really needs to get some rest. He can only function off coffee and nicotine for so long.

The bar is in high spirits the second he steps foot in, and with that comes the reminder that it’s a weekend night which means…

Eyes drift over to the stage and sure enough, she’s front and center, and he fights the urge to gravitate towards her.

Instead, Javier opts to sit at the bar, easily getting Sloane’s attention and ordering his bourbon.

“Y’know… I think this is the first time you’ve in been here while I’ve been on shift. You hidin’ from me, handsome?” She begins with a teasing simper, expertly pouring the drink.

Javier chuckles briefly, giving her a once-over, “Had I known a pretty little thing like you was tendin’ the bar I woulda been in here much more consistently.” Flirtatious as ever, despite his exhaustion, brown eyes meeting her gaze as she diligently sets the glass in front of him with a vivacious grin.

“Oooh, you’re a sweet talker. I like that. Not many darin’ boys ‘round here.” She leans forward, making a point to press her breasts together to show off her cleavage which he shamelessly ogles.

“S’a good thing I’m not a boy, sweetheart.” Bringing the glass up for a sip, their stare isn’t broken and she cocks her head to the side in interest.

“A great thing, even. You’re all man.” Her southern accent drips with sensuality, the suggestion hanging heavy in the air between them. For a fleeting moment, Javier entertains the idea of inviting her back to his place to relieve some tension and get some rest, but before he can act, she’s whisked away by another patron.

Divine intervention, Javi thinks, since his interest for her drops the second he hears Paloma’s voice. Placing some cash on the counter, he moves over to the table he’s accustomed to sitting at, distancing himself from the distraction with great tits behind the bar.

♫

His attention now fully on the woman on stage, her honeyed voice and the movements of her hands as they trail along the length of her body, diligently tracing her curves.

He can’t keep his eyes off her. Clad in a sleek black dress with a sweetheart neckline, its hem teasingly grazes the curve of her thigh. She radiates an effortless sensuality. Her mid-thigh high boots elevate her stature, causing her back to arch ever so subtly, drawing his gaze to her ass.

Her hips sway with a tantalizing rhythm that ignites Javier’s imagination, conjuring images of her poised above him with his cock drilling deep inside of her.

The glass in his hand suddenly feels heavy as his thoughts get dirty, so he takes a long sip, relishing the fiery sweetness that burns down his throat.

Javi finds himself completely entranced, lost in the melody of her voice. As Paloma begins her descent from the stage, weaving her way through the tables scattered around the room, a sense of anticipation stirs within him. With bated breath, he shifts in his seat, eagerly awaiting for her to approach him.

She continues, tastefully interacting the patrons nearby, pocketing bills that are being handed to her. She handles it suavely, tucking the wads of cash in the band of her boot that’s pressed up against her thigh.

Javier’s eyes fall to the area as she does this, running his tongue over his teeth and truly contemplating if staying away was worth it all. He digs into his back pocket, fishing out the leather wallet and swiftly pulling out whatever was in it to give her.

It’s then that she approaches him, the spotlight making Paloma look more radiant than any star he’s ever seen. Their eyes meet in a enchanted gaze, his lip tugs up into a cocky and expectant smirk in which she matches before slowly rounding behind him, almost singing in his ear.

“Te deseo, cariño, boy, it’s you I desire.” 

Javier’s jaw ticks as her touch runs along the expanse of his broad shoulders, and before she’s able to leave him completely, he slips the bills into her palm and lets it drop from his grasp.

That line was a seductive invitation, crafted for him alone, and he can feel it in the way her lips curve into a knowing smirk. Was it penned with him in mind, sung in Spanish to tantalize him? The notion ignites a fierce longing within Javier, his skin tingling and body craving her.

Her lyrics, saturated with desire, mirror the very same craving she elicits from him. The hunger in her eyes speaks volumes, a silent plea for the passion they both yearn to share.

She finishes the song, the table of a bridal party praising her drunkenly as the music dies down and everyone begins their applause. Some whistling at her, too.

Javier remains unmoved, reclining effortlessly in the chair, one arm draped casually over its back. His gaze is fixed on her, unwavering, a fresh cigarette dangling from his lips, the tendrils of smoke curling around him lazily. He makes no attempt to conceal his admiration, indifferent to whether she notices his lingering stare. The bold move she just made only serves to fuel him, leaving his infatuation as intense and consuming as ever.

It’s evident that Paloma seeks his pursuit, craving the thrill of the relentless chase until she willingly offers herself completely. Though Javier typically refrains from chasing pussy, he finds himself captivated by the enticing dynamics of their relationship—a tantalizing dance of push and pull. This experience is vastly different from his usual encounters, where women often yield quickly to his advances. With Paloma, however, the challenge persists, defying his expectations and fueling his intrigue.

For a time, Javier reveled in the thrill of it all—the fleeting encounters with women at brothels, the allure of one-night stands. The fast-paced rhythm of constant attention and swift hook-ups kept him occupied and amused. Yet now, a shift has happened. He finds himself drawn to the unhurried pace of whatever undefined connection he shares with Paloma. It’s a departure from the whirlwind of his past experiences, and despite its ambiguity, it holds a newfound interest, captivating him in its gradual unfolding.

It’s building tension, prolonged foreplay to a shared fantasy that’ll only bring them both conflict. Conflict that he doesn’t want to be burdened with…

Yet, she makes it so hard to stay the fuck away.

As she vanishes into the depths of the back area, Javier swiftly drains the last remnants of his drink, feeling more restless than when he had come in.

It has been days since her last performance, yet she hasn’t stopped thinking about that night. It was her first time doing anything remotely sensual as she had–– and she liked it. It gave her a lot of real confidence and not that of which she pretends she obtains.

She’s already preparing herself for the scrutiny she’ll receive from a certain group of gossips at church for putting on such a scandalous performance.

Whatever, she thinks, people were going to talk shit regardless and she’s never felt more sexier and empowered. The self-assurance she got from people handing her tips and receiving Javier’s undivided attention was exhilarating.

It had been more than enough for her to quickly improvise a specific lyric in her song. For him.

Paloma is at a loss to rationalize her impulsive behavior once she approached him, swept up in a sensation akin to a siren’s call, drawing in a lost sea captain with an irresistible temptation.

He’d been more preoccupied than usual, leaving Paloma to grapple with an unexpected yearning for his presence. Their interactions had become fleeting, confined to brief exchanges in passing or hurried conversations over the phone, often revolving around attempts to reach the sheriff.

So seeing him there that night, very present at her gig, she knew she had to do something big to give him the hint that she is very, very interested in doing something, anything with him. Consequences be damned.

Paloma won’t be the one to take it there, that’s a rookie move. If Javier is as interested as he appears to be, then she fully intends to practice some patience to have him crawling over to her.

Would he actually do that, though? She only knows bits and pieces of his romantic endeavors and from the little information she’s gathered; he doesn’t seem like the type to chase but she could be wrong.

There is no harm in trying to seduce him, really, and if he rejects her then she’ll take the hint and move on. It’s not like she wants to date the man or have him fall to one knee asking for her hand in marriage.

No, Paloma just really wants to get laid. Too many nights have came and went where all she’s dreamed of is the hot, older deputy sheriff screwing her into oblivion. 

Then at the bar… he actually gave her money, matter of fact, he had been the biggest tipper of the night. Paloma contemplated giving the cash back to him, thinking it was entirely too much, but she talked herself out of the idea solely because she found the transaction incredibly hot.

With caution not to invest her entire focus in him, she’s also been seeing August. Their time together brings forth a distinct experience, stirring uncertainty about her romantic attachment to him. It wasn’t until yesterday afternoon, amidst the tranquil shade of a sprawling oak tree, engrossed in shared reading, that an almost kiss cast light on her true sentiments towards him.

Their connection pulsates with an undeniable chemistry, his gaze lavishing upon her as if she were the rarest gem. United by shared passions for literature and idyllic beliefs, he breathes vitality into the stifling surroundings. While the opportunity for a shared kiss lingered, Paloma’s thoughts persistently drifted toward Javier, rendering the moment bittersweet.

Lost in her own thoughts amidst the task of pulling weeds from the garden, she remains oblivious to the persistent ringing of the landline inside. Only as the sound penetrates her consciousness does she snap out of it. Hastily removing her gardening gloves and rushing inside, she reaches for the phone just before its final ring.

It’s Lola from the bar letting her know that a letter has just been dropped off–– addressed specifically for Paloma.

She is confused yet intrigued at the news, and in no time she’s in town; sitting on top of the counter ripping the poor envelope open and scanning the words on the piece of paper.

Apparently, the bride who was here last weekend contracts acts from all over Texas to perform at the state fair in Dallas. Seems like Paloma was conspicuous enough to warrant an invite.

A much bigger crowd, her first real chance to branch out by doing something she’s genuinely passionate about. 

After freaking out about it with the ladies at the bar, even taking a celebratory tequila shot, Paloma is racing to make it to the station to share the good news with her dad. 

She hurriedly hops off her bike, not even bothering to chain it to the rack as she snatches the letter and saunters up the steps and into the building overly excited.

Clearly, she’s interrupted something as both men’s heads snap in her direction with heavy, worried looks in their eyes when she barges in.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?!” Her father steps towards her, scanning her for any injuries.

“Yes I’m fine daddy,” she tucks her hair behind her ears to contain some of her excitement as she feels some of the leftover apprehensiveness from before she arrived, “I’m just excited to show you this, look! I got invited to preform at the state fair!” She shoves the paper into his chest and he turns it around so he can read its contents.

Her eyes are bright in anticipation, searching his stoic face for a reaction.

“Sweetheart, this is wonderful...” He trails off and her smile begins to fade at his tone.

“What? What’s wrong?” She questions, eyes flickering over to Javier who stands almost awkwardly behind the sheriff.

“A girl in Fayette has gone missing. We just got the call. About to head over to help ‘em out.” The news has Paloma drawing in a breath, all the enthusiasm in her body evaporating as he hands the paper back to her.

“O-Oh, that’s––”

“This is amazing news, babygirl. We’ll talk about it more when I get home later, alright? We gotta get goin’.” 

The dismissal breaks her, and there’s a second where her demeanor shows it but it’s only temporarily as she nods understandingly then steps aside to allow him to maneuver his way into his office.

“State fair, huh? That’s huge, congrats bella.” Javier’s voice keeps her from scurrying away and she gives him a small smile.

“Thanks, but seems like there’s more important things to focus on.” Paloma won’t be self-centered by taking up any more of their valuable time. A girl is missing and if they want to come out on top then their focus has to remain on her and not Paloma’s trivial news.

“You’re right but that doesn’t mean we can’t be happy for you.” She lifts her gaze from her shoes up to meet his at the use of ‘we’ and she melts, instantly.

In his captivating brown eyes, there’s a delicate balance of gentleness and resolve, causing her knees to weaken slightly. She discerns the subtle golden flecks that add a compassionate depth to his stare. It’s as if his eyes extend a warm invitation, enveloping her in a silent understanding that’s loud enough for her to hear.

“Yeah, I guess. Just hate that all this is still happenin’. I’m assumin’ y’all aren’t any closer to findin’ out who’s doin’ all this, huh?” Since her father doesn’t tell her anything except what he needs to, Paloma isn’t fully aware of the exasperatingly severity or statuses of the cases.

Javier lets out a heavy sigh, thumb dragging across his trimmed mustache then bottom lip and her eyes zero in on the movement, which she shouldn’t find as attractive as she does. “No, but things like this always take time. It’s the most frustrating thing about the job.” 

Paloma nods, having somewhat of an understanding, “Then I’ll get outta y’alls hair. Leave the mystery solvin’ and savin’ the day to the pros.” Her nose crinkles as she lets out a soft laugh in attempts to lighten the mood.

He gives her a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes and she feels that disappointment from earlier fizzle away at the sight. Javier’s magnetism is undeniable, his rugged handsomeness coupled with an air of competence that captivates her completely. She senses something more than mere physical attraction. It’s as if small, fleeting moments like these are chipping away at the salacious layers of their connection, revealing something deeper and more profound beneath.

“I’ll see you soon, yeah? Got those parts for dear Darla comin’ in any day now. You’ll be cruisin’ around town in no time.” He winks at her and she giggles softly, blood pooling at her cheeks in a deep blush that he notices immediately and it makes his chest tighten.

“I’m lookin’ forward to it.” Paloma replies, a bit more shyly than she’d like but that’s just what happens when you’re affected by Javier Peña’s irresistible charm.

They hold each other’s gaze for a few fleeting seconds, Paloma losing herself in the depths of his warm brown eyes, while Javier savors every precious moment of her undivided attention. Their silent exchange is interrupted as Romeo emerges from his office, oblivious to yet another fleeting moment shared between his daughter and the deputy sheriff, lost in their own world of unspoken emotions.

She is well aware of the copious amount of time she’s been putting in to her performance for the fair, spending all her free time at the bar with the band rehearsing or in her room piecing together her outfit.

This is her moment to showcase her mastery of the craft, and she seizes it with unwavering determination. To an outsider, the prospect of performing at a mediocre state fair, hours away from home, might seem insignificant. But to her, it’s everything. Every chord struck, every lyric sung carries the weight of her passion and dedication. This performance isn’t just about the venue; it’s about pouring her proving to herself that she’s capable.

At first, her father had been really excited for her… but as the days dragged by and tensions with the missing person case increased, he began to grow more cynical about it. With the way things were going, he wouldn’t be able to accompany her and that’s when all the unnecessary comments began. Romeo began to bring up the crime rate in Dallas, hypotheticals of what would happen if she were to get stuck on the side of the road on her way there, even insinuating that her band (which consisted of four members from their church) wouldn’t be as reliable as she knows them to be.

It pissed her off every time he opened his mouth to talk on the matter. At first she just ignored him or said something neutral to appease him, but now that the date was slowly approaching, she found it difficult to keep her rebuttals to herself. How many times was she going to have to remind him that she was a grown up? For some reason, he thinks she’s still a meek sixteen year old girl that needs his protection.

This is what led to the current argument. Him reluctant to let her go and Paloma insistent on going with or without his ‘permission’. Before it has the chance to get out of hand, there’s a knock at the front door and she uses it as an excuse to end the conversation.

Sighing heavily, she opens the wooden door to find Javier on the other side and immediately her frown disappears and she smiles sweetly up at him.

Amidst her intense preparation for the forthcoming performance and his deep engagement at the station, their encounters have become even more infrequent, a departure from their usual routine. Yet, despite the scarcity of interaction, their bodies seem attuned to each other’s presence, responding instinctively to the silent symphony of their unspoken connection.

A silent portrait of their unspoken desires.

“Hey cowboy, whatcha doin’ here?” She crosses her arms against her chest, the screen door still separating the two of them.

“I told you I’d have the parts in any day now.” It’s then that she sees a cardboard box in his possession and realization dawns on her.

“Oh my god–– no way! Thank fuckin’–– god you’re such a saint.” Javier chuckles at her words which has her feeling fucking giddy as she opens the screen door and steps aside to let him in.

“M’not a saint, princesa, but your kind words are appreciated.” They walk side by side, her shoulder softly brushing against his arm, to the kitchen where her father is.

“Daddy, Javier’s here to finish workin’ on sweet Darla.” There’s a tinge of bitterness lacing her words as she addresses her father, their previous argument still fresh on her mind but she would rather throw herself off a bridge than finish said conversation in front of their company.

The two men greet each other, making small talk as Romeo thanks Javier for all he’s doing for both the town and the help he’s been extending to his daughter. Paloma boredly leans against the doorframe, waiting for them to wrap up their exchange and Javi can feel her impatience.

When they finally breakaway, It’s just him and Paloma in the shed, Romeo stuck inside taking an important call. Instead of perching herself on the chair like last time, she’s leaned over the hood of the car with him, close enough to be able to feel the heat radiating from her body.

“I didn’t interrupt something earlier, did I?” Javier asks, picking up on the tension between her and her dad in the kitchen just then.

Paloma doesn’t reply right away, eyes trained on his working hands within the engine.

“You did but it was a good thing. We were havin’ a small argument that was about to turn into a real big fight. He’s being so anal about not lettin’ be go up to Dallas for the fair. He doesn’t seem to understand that I’m goin’ regardless.” She scoffs with a shake of her head, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

“He just worries about you… doesn’t necessarily go about it in the best way but he just wants to make sure you’re safe.” Picks his words as carefully as he can, gaze flickering to her face briefly before returning to the task at hand.

“I know, he’s just so stubborn about it.”

“Sounds like someone I know.”

She lets out a genuine laugh, the one that involuntarily brings a small smile to his lips and she elbows him playfully.

“He’ll come around. He sees how passionate you are about your music. Like you said, you’re goin’ to do it with or without him.” Paloma doesn’t say anything, thinking his words over knowing that Javi’s right but he’s underestimating how adamant her father can be.

Finally getting the last piece screwed in tight, he stands to his full height and wipes his hands off on a rag, “Alright, go start her up and see if she’s cooperatin’ finally.” Javier gestures towards the driver’s seat as he slams the hood close and she excitedly leaves his side, flinging the door open and sliding in.

The engine starts with ease and the delighted cheer that comes from Paloma is more rewarding than anything he’s deserving of.

She hops out, throwing her arms around his neck in a hug that takes him back, literally, stumbling over his feet slightly but they’re kept upright as his hands naturally fall to her waist.

In this moment of closeness, their bodies meld together, igniting a fervent blaze of desire within the both of them. The feeling of her pressed against him sends shivers of longing coursing through his veins, a primal urge that pulses with raw intensity.

Her scent, an intoxicating blend of freshly bloomed flowers and ripe fruit, envelops him like a gentle summer breeze, evoking a sense of enchantment he never wishes to leave.

His touch against the exposed skin from her cropped shirt leaves a trail of goosebumps. The gentle curve of her back beneath his fingertips, the softness of her curves, beckon him to keep exploring but he won’t. Javier savors the electric thrill of her response, the subtle shivers that ripple across her skin in response to his touch. A satisfied smirk graces his lips.

“Thank you so much, Javi. You have no idea how happy you’ve just made me.” Paloma pulls away first, but not completely, and the position they’re left in is much more intimate than it should be.

His breath fans over her face, which is just inches apart, if he really wanted to; he could lean in and press his lips against hers…

And he really, really wants to but with Romeo just around the corner–– he won’t risk getting caught. No matter how enticing and easy it’d be to give in.

“Javi? What happened to officer or cowboy?” He teases her, pinching at her hips and she pushes at his chest, finally breaking their embrace.

“Right, forgive me for wantin’ to have a moment of authenticity.” Paloma playfully rolls her eyes, “Thank you so much, officer. You have no idea how…” She trails off suddenly and his brow cocks inquisitively.

“You have no idea how satisfied you’ve left me.”

The sultriness in her voice, gleam in her eyes and those long lashes batting up at him all innocently does nothing but fuel his craving for her. 

“If this is all it took to leave you satisfied, hermosa, then you’re in worse shape than I thought.”

She bites down on her lower lip, “Thank god I have you here to help me out, hmm?” 

And for a split second it feels like something might happen but ultimately… it doesn’t. 

“Just doin’ what I can, cariño. You get any more car problems just call me and not that mecánico de mierda (shitty mechanic).”

As she leans forward to retrieve the keys from the ignition, he finds himself entranced by the graceful arc of her back, a delicate curve that seems to invite his gaze to follow its every contour. The gentle slope of her spine draws his eyes downward, her low rise jeans accentuating her plump ass.

“Well… I can’t call you if I don’t have your personal number… what if I have an emergency and you’re not at the station?” Paloma can feel his gaze on her and it makes her feel satisfied that she’s able to capture his attention so easily, closing the car door with her hip and leaning against it.

“That would just be a downright wretched thing.” As his hand instinctively reaches for the memo book he habitually carries, a silent curse echoes in his mind upon realizing its absence. He does have his pen, though.

With a swift and decisive motion, Javier closes the distance between them, a subtle shift in proximity. In that fleeting moment, a sharp intake of breath betrays her surprise, a subtle acknowledgment of his closeness.

“Don’t have paper on me, but…” Taking her hand gently in his, he turns it and begins to write his home phone number on her palm.

Paloma’s heart quickens its pace as Javier’s hand envelops hers, his touch a juxtaposition of rough and gentle against her soft skin. She becomes acutely aware of the stark size difference between their hands, his encompassing hers entirely. A shiver dances down her spine at the sensation, igniting arousal to pulse between her legs.

With a soft exhale, she finds herself unconsciously pressing her thighs together, a physical manifestation of the stirring desire unfurling within her. The simple act of hand-holding, so mundane, now electrifies her senses, leaving her wanting more of his touch.

The only thing she can think of is how good his large, thick fingers would feel pressed against her clit while he pleasures her. Or curling inside of her pussy and brushing against that soft spot that makes her come undone.

Focus, Paloma, you’re practically drooling.

“Might wanna write that down somewhere. The sweat’s gonna just mess it all up.” Javier messes with her, letting go of her hand and stuffing the pen into the front pocket of his shirt. The thin layer of sweat clearly in response to his gesture.

Her eyes widen at the comment and it has her tripping over her words, “Y-Yeah I’ll, uh, make sure not to lose this. Like I said, it’d be a bummer if I couldn’t get ahold of you in a time of need.”

Her desire continues to simmers beneath her skin, a silent melody of longing that dances in her gaze. The sight of his exposed collar, bathed in the soft glow of ambient light, has her fingers itching to trace the contours of his chest, to explore the hidden depths beneath the fabric. With every breath, she fights the urge to succumb to temptation, her resolve tested by the magnetic pull of his presence.

He smirks, absolutely loving to see his affect on her. It’s only fair, seeing as she’s always the one to be riling him up. “Alright cariño, I better get outta here before we get ourselves into trouble.”

The fragile awareness of their shared moment shatters the haze of desire enveloping her, grounding her back to reality. With a subtle nod, she acknowledges the unspoken understanding between them, her heart pulsing with a mixture of longing and uncertainty.

“Of course,” she replies softly, her voice carrying a hint of wistfulness. She gestures towards the exit, concealing the flutter of anticipation in her chest. Her hand remains steady, resisting the urge to wipe away the lingering warmth of his touch.

All hands are on deck to find Jessica Valdez, the missing girl from Fayette.

Back in Colombia, everyone was too afraid to speak up when something was amiss in fear of having their lives taken by the vicious cartels that ran the streets. Those who did have the bravery to come forward with information only did so in hopes of getting support and protection from a government that wasn’t even theirs.

Among the multitude of warning signs observed by Javier, this particular one remained conspicuous yet unacknowledged, overshadowed by the grand scheme of dismantling the kingpins. Consequently, when adversity struck, the flow of valuable intelligence was delayed, impeding the acquisition of pertinent information. This rationale justified Javier’s visits to the brothels, veiled under the pretext of proactive investigation aimed at uncovering critical data essential for combatting the narcos.

The fucking was just a pleasurable addition.

In small communities stateside, though, that’s all people do. Talk. So, when Javier goes out to do some canvassing of his own; he isn’t all surprised by how willingly people are to spill the secrets of their neighbors. By the end of the day, he damn near knows about all the affairs in town, who likes to steal money from who, the mayor’s ‘illegitimate’ child, and decade long family feuds.

Exactly what he expected to find in small Texan towns.

Like he had told Romeo in the beginning, there’s always some truth to a rumor. As he’s collecting information about Seminary and the communities that surround it; he comes to find out about a trio of troublemakers that come from one of the towns where one of the earliest victims had been found and their peculiar interest in all things occult. 

This piqued his interest and upon further investigation; he quickly found the files for Augustus Dixon, Sloane McCarthy and Gabriel Torres.

At once, Sloane caught his attention, although her mugshot portrayed her with a more youthful demeanor. The man from Nina’s funeral, Gabriel, also stood out in his memory. He recalls Sloane mentioning him by name that day he was at the Leighton home, too. However, the third male remained unfamiliar, his appearance suggesting a rebellious disposition, evident from his file and accompanying photograph.

The trio had been in and out of jail all their adolescence for petty crimes like stealing, vandalism, public intoxication, fighting and other nonsense. Nothing severe. They were just troublemakers and that is not odd to find in rural areas. Kids get bored and do stupid shit.

Javier would know better than anyone, he did similar things at their age.

He’s spread out on his couch, glass of whiskey in one hand and file in the other. He is deep in concentration, reading over different police reports and trying to find out where the occult aspect of it comes into play when the phone begins to ring and he lets out a grunt.

Reaching over to grab the receiver, he tucks it between his shoulder and ear as he answers.

“Peña.”

“Hey cowboy.”

Her voice has him sitting up straight, discarding the folder in his hand on the coffee table, now fully attentive. It’s actually kind of pathetic how fast his demeanor changes when it comes to Paloma.

“Hola hermosa, a little late to be callin’, yeah? You should be getting your beauty sleep for the big day tomorrow.” He hadn’t forgotten about her performance at the fair, making note of the date the second she’d told him about it.

“I should be but I’ve got nerves like you wouldn’t believe.” She pauses and he can hear her thinking, “Daddy and I just had a fight… well I dunno even know if you’d call it that. It ended with him sayin’ he didn’t give a damn if I went or not… all that fussin’ just so he could say he didn’t care in the end. If I’m actually that insufferable I’m beggin’ you to put me out of my misery.” He chuckles at that and he can imagine her smiling at his reaction.

“Don’t be nervous, corazón. You’re goin’ to do great. You already knock it outta the park at The Whiskey Fox every weekend. This ain’t no different.” It is different and he knows it, but he also knows her and how she tends to overthink to the point of anxiety. “You ridin’ up there all alone?” Not a fan of the idea but he wouldn’t disclose this to her, now when he knows how much it ticks her off. 

“I was gonna hitch a ride with the band, then I remembered I have a car now so I was goin’ to do that but…”

“But?”

“I want you to come with me… if you can.”

The request surprises him, so much so that it prompts him to take a larger drink of his liquor.

“I didn’t scare you off, did I?” She giggles nervously at his prolonged silence.

“No ‘course not. Just figured you’d enjoyed your newfound freedom of being on the road alone.”

“As fun as that sounds, I think it’d ease my daddy’s nerves knowin’ his glorified babysitter was taggin’ along…” Javier feels like there’s more to it than that, especially since she’s always complaining about being under father’s thumb then she goes on to continue and pacify him. Before he can ask her about it she continues.

“And I’ve never traveled outside of Seminary… well not since I was a little girl. Didn’t really get out much after mom… Just haven’t been outta town in a long, long time.” He can sense her coyness at the admission and it does nothing but persuade him into joining her.

Javi should think it over more, the logistics of him being hours away with Paloma, knowing how ambiguous things are between them. However, he swiftly dismisses his apprehensions, feeling somewhat foolish for blowing what might be a trivial matter out of proportion.

Especially when she seems so nervous to ask for his company.

Finishing off his drink, Javier leans in deeper to the comfort of his couch and he can hear her soft breaths on the other end of the line, anticipating his response.

“Alright, cariño just tell me what time you need me to be there and I’ll be there.”

[thanotaphobia]

Jason King’s departure from the Prime Force is announced that Monday. “It really is bittersweet,” Ms. G says, smiling at the interviewer in front of her, her Hexpert armor polished to glistening. The interviewer is a woman named Cassandra; she’s blonde and tan and wearing a smart blue pencil dress that goes to her knees. Behind the camera to their left is a rolling teleprompter, the statement prewritten and already given the go-ahead by the WATCH PR department. And behind that is Harlem, watching her in full Silhouette gear, eyes narrowed as she spits out her lines. He hates being on TV, but hates being a puppet even more, so she’d agreed to do the announcement solo. “We’re going to miss Origami terribly, but we also know that he can do amazing things elsewhere.” “So, just to clarify, Origami wasn’t fired?” the interviewer asks, and Ms. G shakes her head, curls bouncing.  “Of course not,” she says. “It was a personal decision. His decision. We’ve been fighting villains for almost five years now, but as I always say, you never stop learning! Origami is just stepping away to learn more about himself– something we as the Prime Force encourage wholeheartedly.” “That’s good to hear,” the interviewer says, beaming at her. “And as for the future of the Prime Force–” “Oh, we’re still going,” Ms. G cuts in, and her smile feels fake, plastered on. “This isn’t going to affect WATCH or anything like that. Silhouette and I are still going to be out there, fighting villains and keeping Prime safe!” “And how grateful we all are for that,” the interviewer says with a little chuckle. Ms. G nods, a little bit of irritation twitching in her chest, but she pushes it down with ease. Cassandra glances at the camera and then back at her, leaning in. “You know, everyone in the world right now is wishing Origami the best. We’re excited to see what he gets up to with all that new free time!” “Of course,” Ms. G says, and if she thought her smile felt fake a minute ago this one is practically melting the camera lens. “Just remember to give him some privacy and respect during this time. Treat others the way you’d want to be treated!” Maybe the last sentence is a little pointed. A little too sharp, or on the nose. Maybe she stares a little too long into the camera before her gaze is drawn away by Cassandra, who laughs and puts a hand on her arm. “The golden rule,” she says. “Thank you so much for coming on today, Hexpert.”

ohohohohohohhohohoOHohohohoho

fun little prime force stuff for anyone who wants it

[shochet]

Rufus Wainwright live actually re-wired my brain and now my entire life is for nothing but to live long enough to see him live again... Agnus Dei tonight literally was enough to gag me. He threw in A Town for free. He kept making fun of the naked statues at the loui palace theater all night, he accidentally started reading his lyrics teleprompter when he was supposed to be making his merch announcement and was like "oh god who wrote this"

He was so cutesy and special and just suuuch a charmer i truly think he's everything. Everyone need to see Rufus live NAOW.

[etchingsandepitaphs]

I keep forgetting that I'm meant to be posting writing on here - I just hate the way Tumblr formats poems LMAO but whatever here's one I really love that I wrote for my final project in my Media Studies and Culture class

I have like five hours of research that I did to back up every single line in this poem it's all connected to various media theories if anyone wants an analysis please feel free to let me know because I love analysis tehehe

And Yet.

Words on the walls

On your hands

Dirt-stained skin unraveling

-

Darkness on the tip of your tongue

Mirroring the bile pouring from theirs

-

Surface level has never been deep enough

Still it is where we operate

Ignoring the beating beneath the floor

-

Manipulation can come in many forms

In many faces, in many buildings

-

Arching cathedrals and sterile city halls

Rooms filled with suits and the same dark bile

Etchings mouthed behind teleprompters

-

There is a careful construction to power

You can see it now, as the light of the TV bounces off your eyes

-

Hidden beneath a transparent veil

A snow globe encased in ideology

Filtered, sanitized, unattainable

-

Still the words tell you it isn’t

Stories of hope and hunger circling your screens

-

How to tell what is real and what is them

Water soaked with lead rushing through our ears

A world built for few on the backs of many

-

You know that meaning is manufactured

That art is dead and the internet will follow it

A cold grave dug by tradition and filled with gold

-

And yet.

-

The aura is alive

You feel it in the warmth of every smile

In chatter at coffee shops and art museums

-

We rip our humanity from the jaws of machines

White-knuckle grip on the one thing they cannot sell

-

Their money runs with blood

And it has stained our hands as well

A system that nullifies saints

-

If everything is a lie

Than the truth is stuck in translation

-

Between the lines of ignorance and performance

In speaking and listening and understanding

In something adjacent to nothing

-

Our consumption is manipulated beyond our comprehension

The constitution of our soil is a cage

-

And yet.

[victorianpining]

hey rebs! how did you make your retrospective videos for a better story? what do you use to film and edit your videos, how did you write the scripts, etc i'm thinking about making my own video essay and would love to know what your process is :)

Ah, cool question! I was thinking about doing non-Sherlock video essays after the retrospective before I got hit with all the copyright troubles, so I've given this some thought!

I'll kind of go in order. You want to start with a subject, then something you want to say about it. I know that sounds really basic but you can really easily get in the weeds (I know I'm still guilty of that anyway) but if you keep in mind that everything (or almost everything) you bring up should contribute to your main point in some way. As you get practice, you'll get more of a feel for what voice works for you, I'd recommend trying to say your script outl oud as you're writing it, it will help you get an idea for how it will sound when you go to film it later.

Filming was always my least favorite stage, I like voice over better, but then ediitng is a pain because you have to put footage over it, so both have drawbacks. Try to have a somewhat comfy sitting situation and snacks and whatever else you need to get through talking into your camera for hours and hours and hours. I always have used just my phone as my camera, though for the retrospective I did also use a blue yeti microphone which i synced up after the fact. I'd also recommend getting a teleprompter app, it makes it so much easier, though be careful with with reading the reviews, the one I ended up using actually slightly corrupted all the footage, which was a pain (though I mostly got it fixed).

For editing, I used iMovie for all my old videos and Final Cut for the new ones, and while the paid software definitely makes things easier and allows for more bells and whistles, if you're willing to put in the time to work around it, you can absolutely stick to the free software (pro tip if you want to layer effects, export the clip with the first layer, then load that in, add another effect on top, and repeat as many times as needed, it''s a pain but it's free).

Honestly the main thing is just have a reason to be doing what you're doing, either really love the topic or have a point you want to get across to your audience. That will help carry you through the tedium built into the process.

I wish you all the best in your own video making! If you feel up to it when you get to that stage, feel free to send a link my way so I can check out what you come up with!

[legalkimchi]

Cliche but still ok.

The new year is an arbitrary designation of time, yada yada.

i know. And i also know that we are 2 weeks from the new year (Year of the Dragon, Bay-bee!) as well. while the timing may be arbitrary, any timing would be arbitrary, so it might as well be now.

I've fallen down a rabbit hole of self improvement. i've never really been one to read self help books or really try to improve much (hell, i'm pretty awesome... :-) ) so this is sort of alien territory. I guess i have always felt that self improvement is either for folks who desperately need someone else to tell them what to do or somehow pathetic. I have a lot of internal issues to work through. I grew up with the feeling that asking for help was weakness.

So i have fell into a rabbit hole because i wanted to have a reason to use my fountain pen. i like writing with it, but i didn't really have something to write about. should i write a story? a planner? the next blockbuster movie script?

I don't write my video scripts by hand, mainly because it would be annoying to transfer those into my teleprompter.

So i got a journal. or rather, i grabbed one of my many notebooks and started writing in it. first i started a normal daily journal. Then i tried morning pages (which did not work for me) then i tried a reading log (which really did work for me).

I am trying to read more, and more consistently. i have 4 books i'm reading right now, though not all at the same time. i read one until i get bored with it. put it down, read the next one until i get bored with it, etc, etc. i just keep cycling through. sometimes i get bored in 30 pages, sometimes 200 pages. i don't judge myself for putting a book down, and i feel refreshed and eager to pick it up again when it's turn comes back around. and if i feel the urge to read a specific one of the 4, i just... do. hop around at my leisure.

I've also nearly abandoned all but 3 forms of social media. I stopped checking Twitter/x and bluesky and only post rarely. I only watch my youtube, browse instagram for a small bit, and visit a watch forum i enjoy.

that's it. it has been... a revelation. I am extrodinarily busy. I have a new job, new baby, and, recently, a spouse who is fighting a really annoying illness. the baby used to sleep at 930pm, but now is staying up until midnight. my free time evaporated. however, i keep meeting or coming close to my journalling and reading goals. i attribute this to my lack of social media time.

also, i found twitter only made me angry. I keep up with the news, i don't need twitter to stay informed. it was just emotional train wreck after emotional trainwreck with cute videos of grandmothers singing 80s rock songs. it just wasn't worth it.

I've been more thoughtful with my time and collapsing my circles online. And while it may not be for everyone, it seems to be working for me.

[punkrockmixtapes]

Music Nerd Stuff

I really should be working but I have no motivation today so I'm wasting my time doing this instead. If you feel like doing this please do. I don't know who to tag but I'll tag some folks at the bottom.

1. First Concert: officially? I'm pretty sure the first one I went to all by myself was Soundgarden/Rev Horton Heat at Max Bell. There were a few at that same time that I had gone to so I'm not sure but I'll stick with that answer. I know I bought Rev Horton Heat shirt with a Devil girl on it and it got me into a lot of trouble at school the first time I wore it. This probably ages me a little bit.

2. Last Concert: I think the last show I went to was Hot Water Music and Sincere Engineer. I've been super weird about doing anything since Covid. I mean weirder than I normally am. But I'm trying to force myself to go to more shows again. Sincere Engineer were amazing. I can't wait to see another show at a better venue.

3. Most Surprising Show: Hmm...this is tough. I've seen some pretty cool shows especially when I worked at the record store and would just get free tickets to anything. Seeing RVIVR on a whim at a bike shop in town. The show wasn't advertised or promoted at all. I just happened to stumble upon a random instagram post. I had never even seen this shop and it was like 10 blocks from my old house. So I went. It was so amazing. It felt like when I went to shows in high school. It really rejuvenated my love for punk rock.

4. Worst show: Oh I have seen a lot of those...as I mentioned I had a free ticket to almost anything that came through town and I would take full advantage of it. Like I went to see Styx with Gowen singing just because I could. Plus all the basement/all ages shows. I mean you gotta sift through some mud to get some gems. But, maybe the most disappointing was Arcade Fire. It was on their first "big" tour. To be fair I wasn't that into the album yet. But all I had heard was how amazing this band was live and how it was going to blow my mind. I legit fell asleep during the show on a couch. Like not related to booze or being tired. I might as well have been in a boring lecture at school.

or maybe Ozzy the last time I saw him. I saw him in like 96 and he was rad and energetic. Then I saw him later on pre the Sabbath reunion. We were lucky (or so I thought) to be side stage. But Ozzy was decrepit and couldn't move. He was reading off a teleprompter and it was sad seeing the regression. I have heard he ruled on the Sabbath shows but I didn't buy tickets for that based on this experience.

5. Loudest: Hmm...I assume all the basement shows were loud and probably were not good for any future hearing loss but the loudest show with an actual PA had to be the Misfits when they came through on the first run with Graves singing. I don't think my ears were ever the same. I also learned that wearing plugs at a show is probably a smart idea. Alas it was too late.

6. Band I’ve Seen The Most: I'd say Chixdiggit because they played all the time when I was a teenager. I'm sure there are other local bands that I saw just as much.

7. Best Show: Too many contenders. I have been fortunate to see so many good shows. I am a sucker for small venues and I really hate stadium or festival shows. I guess that's the punk rock snob in me. But the first one that came to mind was The Weakerthans at the multi cultural centre. It was an all ages show, on a Sunday , in the middle of summer which usually meant a giant failure at the time. I hadn't been a fan. I was too young to get that kind of music. But the show made me one. Plus I still get butterflies because that whole day was fantastic like some sort of scene in a movie when the main character looks back and reflects on something formative or romantic.

8. Happiest I Got To See: The Menzingers. They had canceled twice here and I finally got to see them. It was probably the first time I was up front at a stage in like 10 years.

9. Wish I Could’ve Seen: There are 3 for me

a) The Murder City Devils - They only played here once as far as I know. I wasn't 18 and I couldn't get into the show. My friend said he would get me in. I was too much of a chicken and I figured they would be back again soon. Much like Mr T at the mall it never happened.

b) Samiam - Same deal as above, same venue, I wish I wasn't such a chicken at the time.

c.) At the Drive In - I didn't get an actual chance to see them but fuck do I wish I could have seen them before they blew up and then hated being a band.

10. Seeing Next: I don't know. I always say I'll go to this show or that show. I'm old, I'm slightly afraid of large crowds now ...but I do have tickets to the Chuck Ragan, The Interrupters and Frank Turner in April. And I really want to see 1876 when they play here for Sled Island. That will rule.

if you feel like doing this @sugartownunderground , @honey-drudgers @capsandbottles97 @serend-p-ty @another-brick-inthewall

[queenharumiura]

✵

Taken from meme: [x] ||Accepting||

For Tsuna

Your first impression of Tsuna: "I'm pretty sure it must have been something around the lines of, 'Ohhh! New friend! She has light colored hair! She's quiet... time to fix that!" Hard to really remember since they met when they were so young.

Current impression: "Tsuna-chan has come a very long way over the years. Things have changed, but the core part of her hasn't, I'd like to say. She's loyal to her friends, she looks after others, is modest (sometimes a bit too modest), and she's determined. She's hardworking and an exemplary example of what you should be trying to do if you have power- looking out for the weak. Of course, she still makes the time to look after herself and what she wants as well. She doesn't just make the Vongola her entire personality. That's important, having self-identity."

Are you attracted to your Tsuna: "If this is your way of asking me if I think Tsuna-chan is cute, then yes. Among any of my friends, are any of them ugly?" She gives the teleprompter a look. Exactly. "It must be a secret criteria that the mafia has to be attractive." She cracks a small joke.

Something you find frightening about Tsuna: "Mmn... probably her position?" The Vongola was a very influential mafia famiglia, and Tsuna held a very prominent position, so that meant she had a lot of enemies. "It's scary to think of all the dangers she can face just from her position alone. It's scary to think that something may happen to her one day."

Something you find adorable about Tsuna: "I think the cutest thing about Tsuna-san is her smile! It's a very bright and warm smile. Seeing it makes you feel like... everything is okay and right in it's place."

Would you sacrifice themselves Tsuna?: "Well, yes. I'd sacrifice myself for any of my friends." That's just the type of selfless person that Haru was. She probably wouldn't have to think before she started moving. Taking those out of consideration, it would spell all sorts of trouble if Tsuna were to die, given her position within the Vongola. "Though, I'm sure Tsuna-chan is the same way... so who knows who would really be doing the sacrificing in that case."

Would you go on a date with Tsuna?  platonic/romantic: "I'll drag Tsuna-chan on platonic girl's night out dates any time! Schedule permitting, of course. She has to remember to take the time to relax sometimes, and that's what I'll remind her to do."

One word you would use to describe Tsuna: "Mmmn... that's a tough one." Haru is tilting her head from side to side as she keeps mulling it over. "For all the things that she's accomplished and continues to strive to accomplish, I think 'Incredible' is a fitting word."

Would you slap Tsuna if you could?: "..." What kind of question was this? "Why would I slap her? That's weird..." She squints, "That's suspicious." She wouldn't want to, but something tells her that Tsuna could avoid it if she wanted to- but the question would be IF she would. "I'll go on a limb and say that even if I tried, it wouldn't connect, so no- I don't think I could."

Would you hug/kiss Tsuna?: "Of course! What's wrong with hugs and cheek kisses among friends? Nothing!" Haru was very free and open with her shows of affection and this wasn't a secret.

[detransition]

lytonya | 19/100 portraits of detrans women | by SARAH VACI

“I officially began transitioning in early 2014 in a critical theory grad program. It was as it sounds. I was often accused of not being a girl as far back as my early childhood in the 1980’s. My dysphoria was real & lifetime. But when I look back now, with clearer eyes, I see it did not come from me but the world outside. 

There are too many examples I could give, going back to my toddler years. One example: three years of relentlessly being taunted as “he/she/it” by my whole middle school despite having huge breasts I was ashamed of, long hair, a stereotypical perm & bangs of the early nineties. Maybe it was how the adults reacted? Or how my trying made it worse. I was screamed at for trying to use the restroom, called a rapist. I don’t look like a boy in my school pictures of the time. I wanted to die. That was my life. 

Almost all my therapists have suggested I might not be a woman. Even in the Air Force. Things happened, I did stuff, but it was always there & one day I guess I snapped. It was my Theory Of Everything. I wrote my thesis on my experience. I walked thru hell like nothing I had seen in even my childhood. A terrible horrible accident happened to open my eyes and I canceled my surgery a couple months out in 2020, stopped t, and just walked away. This isn’t the place for all the details.

Here are a few basic ontological/epistemological/ethical truths my journey helped me learn/remember in no particular order:

To paraphrase and mildly embellish Bjork: don’t let poets, priests, prophets, professors, politicians, prosecutors, police, polemicists, pleaders, or program teleprompter readers, not probers of materiality, pessimists of existentialism, nor practitioners of any sort lie to you.

Don’t idolize Diogenes too much.

Another Bjork reference: “love is all around you, maybe not in the direction you are staring at, thrust your head around, it’s all around you”

You are sacred, you were born sacred; you’re only real job, is to find ways to honor that, your free will most expressed in cultivating or denying it. And, thus, anyone telling you the way to do that is to break parts of you & be put back together by someone else (for a price, there’s always a price) is not your friend.

As I tried to teach my child but needed to learn myself: don’t let other people’s lies become your lies or you will implicate yourself in the sins committed against you, then lose yourself & your path. Both can be found again, but not somewhere else & not in a black mirror. 

Your body is not your disease, your sin is not your incarnation, your suffering is not your authenticity. 

It’s better to be an exception that proves a rule than one that merely breaks it. 

Find a safe place or person to say things out loud that make you afraid, so you can see if it’s true.

 I refused all of these lessons for most of my life. Especially those farcical 6 years. And then I stopped. It saved my life; I stopped blaming others for my existence; I work now on not seeing myself as a problem for existing.” (x)

thinking of detransition? you are not alone

[autumn-oceanopromises]

(979) fucking up my soul

ahhhh haaaah haaa ha ha haaaaa

it's midnight razor blades spin like a helicopter swing in, skim my skin french kiss the teleprompter thin sins sink right in beggars tap-dancing on a raw nerve and bitterness

free souls speak ever louder how does everything falter blandness like blank powder just wanna feel something other than

tired - tired - tired--tiredtiredtired

ahhhh haaaah haaa ha ha haa ha ha haaa haaa haaaa

i just lose myself in the voice of someone else i can't save myself in stock jpegs smiling for the crowd i know I'm in control but i'm plucking out my soul i know i know i know i know i know i know i know

ahaaaahahaaa ha ha ahhhh ha ha Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.

laughter, manic, hysterical anger i'm slamming all the doors closed clenched fists, hyperbole all told my gravitas is cynical grit teeth i'm leaning forward anxious, rising tides i'm all for it varying the foreshadowed foretold it's all the same all the same all the same all the same all the same

ahiiiaahaa ha ha

drag back the technicolor in me can't breathe can't dream i'm choking jokes belabored too deep flash-forward in black-and-white and ninety millis develop out the negatives

i just lose myself in the voice of someone else i can't save myself in stock jpegs smiling for the crowd i know I'm in control but i'm fucking up my soul i know i know i know i know i know i know i know

tired tired tired

i have to lose myself in the voice of someone else i can't save myself in stock jpegs smiling for the crowd i know i'm in control but i'm fucking up my soul

i know i know i know i know i know i know i know

ahhhh haaaah haaa ha ha haaaaa