#GOOD NIGHT YOU PERFECT LITTLE SPICY NUGGET

[zilly-zirl-xp]

Imma just rant about random TF ROTB things because I’m weird and it’s 03:06 am

So I shall begin.

I hate how Noah helplessly calls out for his buddy (Mirage) when Mirage is protecting him from being killed. His barely surviving ass should have stayed a bit longer before becoming Dino because uh-(looking for good excuse) Scott Cawthon said so.

Elena and Noah (well Noah at least) deserve to be in DOTM bc “Mirage” was in it.

I am dying for some Airazor and Elena moments/lore.

Bulkhead should’ve been included in ROTB

I’m going to break a wall with my thick ass head because of how much headbutting there was in that movie.

The combat in ROTB was just-(slams fist on table/ CHEFS KISS)

Airazor should have stopped Scourage/ the infection.

I want to learn the combat from them. I’m gonna watch it until I got the skills-

I damn LOVE all the Maximals and Autobots (and humans but wtv).

Rant not complete yet but I’m tired and it’s now 03:25. A good 16 somein’ minutes. I will continue soon.

Oh yh. Weird TF gif’s. I reached max lol. I’ll ad more in the next post.

This is CØ$M! Coming off for the night.

Later, good night, good morning, good afternoon and good evening. Love From CØ$M!🤍

[sobcat]

01. Notes on London

A little blog entry on my vacation and future.

It takes a lot for me sometimes to take myself serious. After my vacation to London I’ve wanted to write a little bit, a small collection and conclusions of said vacation. It’s been about three weeks since I left my flat to take the nightbus to the airport (mind you, way too early) and I’ve kind of hoped to find the perfect words for this quite expensive endeavour, but just like any inanimate objects can’t move towards you the perfect words didn’t either. In the end it’s the same lesson again and again, and while I seem to learn that inaction leads to inaction I just can’t apply that properly [...]

In 2019 I’ve visited London with my family and a close friend, us two trying to soak up every possibility out of each hour of the day, leaving the very British Airbnb at 8am and returning at 8pm. I was maybe 15, almost 16, and honestly didn’t expect myself to have some kind of profound realisation about the path I want to take with my life through leaving my usual environment. But I loved London and knew I’d return one day. Before I did, I went to Florence, Italy, an attempt at my first big girl solo travel, a few weeks after I turned 18 and with the money I earned through selling strawberries. In spite of my newfound impression of being all grown up I was terribly insecure and while independent, only so in theory. Still, absolutely lovely country.

My intention was never to go to London alone, a good friend of mine, Nugget (no that’s not her real name), and I have been daydreaming of going there while suffering in the last months before A-levels and graduation (nobody else was crying, shaking and throwing up like me during that time), however in the end she kind of bailed on me and I’ve decided that as always going alone is just easier. At least she gave me her oystercard (with -6P on it but I’ve healed).

I’m not going to waffle for long about all the great things I did (I could! Definitely could) so here is a very short list: ate amazing spicy Pho, went to every important museum, meet a lovely friend for the first time, saw art, walked enough for the next few months, bought 24 books deliberately on accident and slept in a pathetic hotel room. I had so much fun and on the second day when I stood on the millennium bridge, looking on the sunny skyline I truly realised I’m not home, I’m actually quite far away and it’s great! I left London four nights later already longing to come back.

I love the city. I live in the city, I need the city. Nonetheless London left me wanting to explore nature, not being able to even feel the presence of another being for kilometres. This isn’t an uncommon, special desire, most people at some point crave the wildness. I constantly consume media of people leaving everyday life for a roadtrip (Noah Caldwell-Gervais on YT), a hike or expedition. However I never wanted to experience that myself, I was happy watching. I’m not anymore. Again, I’ll return to London but not before leaving for more than just the city.

In terms of seeking a break from everyday life I was rewarded with a cut, almost a blackout, there’s before and after London now, like I’ve restarted the year on the 6th of February. I don’t feel much different now, not as motivated to finish my many projects as I hoped I’d be (you know, inaction and inaction) but I needed this more than I’d like to admit. A lot of my savings went into this and God! I needed to leave, and I need to leave again and probably I need to leave as often as it takes to realise that I won’t find myself far away where nobody knows me, but rather in the life I’ve been building for the past year.

To conclude this rather unorganized ramble (it’s really not that unorganized) I’m young, while I left behind the questioning unsure space between graduation and the next education (for now) and that’s for once perfectly fine, I don’t wish to grow up faster than time would allow me and honestly I just need to go on a long walk, think, and come back to repeat it all next week.

:3

[docholligay]

Wings Edinburgh

@moonwhing your tip covered this! Mainly because I thought it would be funny for whing to sponsor wing

The name of the restaurant tells you all you need to know. There are wings. The menu is kept mostly to that, though they will make small allowances for those of you who are vegetarian, which a tot, and chicken nuggets dipped in sauce, for those of you who are children. Other than that, you are mostly on your own. 

A place that serves beer, wings, and not much else, down a tiny and steep close, is about the most perfect way we could have spent the early evening. Despite being, and this is not a joke, about 1 minute, or 300 feet, off the main drag, it was the one place in town where most of the accents we heard were Scottish, echoing off the low ceiling of the whitewashed quasi-cellar where the air burned with spices. 

I started with a heather ale and a shake of the head. My wife wanted me to try the wall of flame challenge, which is an excellent way to end an evening, but not a way for me to endanger my tour that night. The heather ale, unlike the regret of not proving my manhood, was excellent, a floral beer rich with malts that forces you to sit up and take notice. These qualities make it, in truth, not what I would necessarily recommend for pairing with chicken wings, but I like it even if it’s wrong. 

I began with three sauces, three wings each: Blazing saddles, essentially a spicy ranch, and merely three flames, Maelstrom, billed as a smoke and pepper joint at 4 flames, and 8 flames, so named for being 8 flames, and the highest one can reach without entering the 11 flame challenge arena. 

Blazing saddles: I love a good spicy ranch. Fuck, I love a bad spicy ranch. The ranch was creamy and clearly homespun, which I think is mostly your only option in the UK but I’m impressed anyhow, and it tastes as thought its been mixed with something akin to Cholula, resulting in a creamy spice that is mildly warming but mostly yielding. It does lack a bit of dill and peppercorn, which I think of as being crucial to making ranch, ranch. 

Maelstrom: I was disappointed in this one at first, having tasted the Islay whiskey that was rather like dipping my face in a bonfire (more on this later--that review is taking me some time) and the smoke in this was very mild, very likely just a touch of liquid smoke in the sauce. Once I stopped pouting about the smoke I was able to really enjoy the blend of chilis, which I did not find HOT, but I did find extremely spicy and pleasant. 

8 flames: I could have done the wall of flame challenge and passed, I think. I know wing one in a row is not wing three, but this, while truly hot, is not in any way uncomfortable for me, and I think the 11 would be uncomfortable but doable. If we have time we’re going to go back and have me do it. All that being said, I LOVED this sauce. Truly hot, but also well balanced--sometimes sauces designed to be hot are one trick ponies--with layering in the flavor that I am actually pretty impressed by and HONESTLY I get more smoke out of this than the maelstrom, likely owing to at least some chipotle, and what I think must be smoke paprika. 

Having finished that and having no intention of stopping, I get a little four flame sauce with their ‘tots’ just to try it. 

Now here’s where it gets tricky. I like spicy pickle dips quite a bit and have no reason to believe this would have been any different. The peppers were carefully picked to offset the pickle in a way that allowed both to shine and while I’d like a bit more heat, I think I could have really enjoyed it. 

But I SHOULD NOT have ordered tots. 

So, I don’t know how it is in the UK, as I normally don’t order fried potatoes. But in the US, a tot is shredded potato, put into little tubes, and fried. These were mashed potatoes, in long cylinders, fried. Now, I LOVE culinary difference and innovation, and I don’t think these were BAD, but they were in no way what I wanted and I found the texture a turnoff. it was too smooth against the boldness of sauce, with little structural integrity for heavy dipping. I wanted to ask them to bring me a chicken wing to try the pickle sauce with ahaha. 

Now, based on the above, you may say: Oh okay Doc, these were middlin. FUCK NO. These were the best fucking chicken wings I have ever had. The fry on them was delicate and perfect, no excess breading just a dry skin crisped in the fryer so perfectly it doesn’t wilt under the sauce. Did I have notes for the sauces? Of course, sauce is deeply personal as wine and we all have our preferences, and in general my spice-o-meter is tweaked higher than much of the UK dining I’ve experienced. But as far as wings I’ve had in a restaurant? Or even mine? Blows them out of the water. 10/10. The sauce menu is very large and if I had time I would go by and try all of them eventually, marking my favorites. 

Jill and I nearly waddled out of the restaurant into the daylight, even at 7:30 showing no sign of dimming. The streets were abandoned, even though they had been packed a mere 2 hours before, as is Edinburgh had been turned off like a switch. We walked up the royal mile, nearly alone as we pointed out the architecture, and, in truth, enjoyed it far more than we had earlier. 

Or maybe we were just full of chicken wings. 

[ashintheairlikesnow]

Aqua, windchimes, ovenmitt. For the lovely little Mina. - 🐉

CW: Child of whumpee, vague references to trauma, whumpee with long-term ptsd, referenced chronic pain

There are days, when the winter brings down heavy snow that piles up against the house, that Mina’s daddy gets a little bit lost inside his head. Her dad shoveled the sidewalk this morning, forcing good and bad hands to work together before he left to teach, but her daddy doesn’t go outside when it’s snowy unless she asks him to.

Mostly she doesn’t.

The snow and cold make his back hurt, and if she wants to build a snowman he’ll help her, but then he’ll live on the couch all afternoon and she’ll bring him his heating pad to lay across the scar just to one side of his spine. She likes to count his freckles, but he asks her not to, on his bad back days.

Last night the wind blew hard around the house, making it creak and groan, sending her climbing up in between her dad and daddy for warmth and reassurance, Toto curled into a ball behind her knees. Daddy’s arms around her are safe, and Mina had fallen back asleep to the sound of the windchimes ringing at the back of the house.

If she looks out the back windows in the dining room, she can see one blew down, pretty silver tubes scattered on the back steps, mostly covered now by snow but glinting a little when the sun hits just right.

The snow is perfect today and the wind has stopped blowing so hard, but she doesn’t want to hurt her daddy, so she doesn’t ask about the snowman. Instead, Mina colors at the kitchen table, legs swinging inches above the ground, concentrating on the Disney princess coloring and activity book they got last time Daddy took her shopping. She carefully colors Tiana’s dress in, not green but a color that goes A-Q-U-A-M-A-R-I-N-E, says the label on the side of the crayon.

Aquamarine, Daddy said when she asked what the letters spelled. His voice was soft and faded. It’s, um, a kind of blue, Mina-bean.

He’s soft and faded on cold days, her daddy. He holds her in his arms and lunch is her favorite thing, dinosaur chicken nuggets and french fries and cookies after he baked and pulled out of the oven with oven mitts covering his hands and making them look like puppets, but he doesn’t talk all that much. He just listens to her, and looks out the window at the snow.

She looks up from her coloring page and asks him what he’s thinking.

He glances over at her, face pinched with an old ache, his red marks all over him darker than normal when the light from the snow outside makes his skin even paler. 

Just remembering, He says, low and soft.

Remembering what?

He’s quiet, for a second, and cradles a steaming mug of coffee in both hands, hunched a little bit, not as tall as he normally is. Even without going outside, she thinks, he’ll be on the couch before Dad gets home. That’s okay. He’s still fun, even on bad back days. They just have different games they play then.

Daddy?

He blinks, shaken out of his thoughts. Yeah?

I said what are you remembering, Daddy. Did you hear me?

Yeah, um, I did. I did. Just... His eyes are back on the window, looking at the snow piled up outside, firewood stacked by a shed not too far from the house.

Mina sets her crayon down and moves to pick up another, watching his face.

He smiles, faint and sad. Just remembering when I lived... um... when I lived somewhere colder than this.

----

@whump-it, @bleeding-demon-teeth, @finder-of-rings, @burtlederp, @astrobly @whumpywhumper, @18-toe-beans, @pumpkinthefangirl, @special-spicy-chicken, @swordkallya, @moose-teeth, @whumpiary,  @lave-whump @raigash @whump-tr0pes, @wildfaewhump

[daebakinc]

Building Up an Appetite

Group: CNCO Pairing: Christopher x Reader Genre: Fluff, Romance Word Count: 1.7K Summary: What happens when you ignore a needy puppy who wants attention.

You were very aware of his hand resting on your inner thigh. You lay on the bed reading, your legs tented. Christopher had come in and stretched out by your feet. Up until now he was behaving. You felt him move his hand lower on your thigh and push at your shorts.

“Quit it,” you swatted at him.

Christopher giggled and took his phone out, seeming to leave you alone. A few minutes later his hand was back on your thigh.

You glared at him over the top of your book. He was pretending to be interested in his phone, but from the smirk on his face you knew he was intentionally being a little butt nugget.

“Move your hand or I’m going to smack you.”

He lifted his gaze to you. “Promise?” His smirk was bigger.

You kicked at him. “Go away and let me read.” You lifted your book again, which was your mistake.

He rested his palm right over your crotch.

You didn’t move the book but couldn’t exactly concentrate on the page either. “Christopher,” you growled in warning.

He giggled more, but his hand didn’t move at all.

His teeth lightly nipped at your inner thigh causing your book to fall from your hands and you to gasp. Your face flushed instantly and you could see him chuckling more as he licked at the spot. Your grabbed a pillow and threw it.

Christopher’s laughter filled the room as he rolled off the bed.

You tossed another pillow in his direction. “Stop being a little jerk! Go play your video games!” You picked up a stuffed animal from the bed and also threw it for good measure then scowled at him until he walked out of the room, still snickering.

You put your hands to your cheeks until you could feel the blood leave them. You glanced at the door to make sure he wasn’t lurking before picking up your book and trying to find the page you were on.

His giggling ruined any shot of surprising you and you saw him running toward you.

Christopher screamed and leapt onto the bed while you shrieked and hid under your book. Both of you were giggling now as he was tickling you without mercy. You tried hitting him with your book but he moved out of the way and it flew off the bed. He tickled at your hips and as you tried to grab at his hands he moved them up your sides. 

Your giggling was just as loud as his. You squirmed and attempted to get out of his grasp. Unfortunately for you, he had you pinned between his legs and knew all of your sensitive and ticklish spots. 

It was getting hard to breathe as you kept laughing and wrestling with his hands. In a quick moment of brilliance you pushed at his chest, which he wasn’t expecting. He lost balance and had to sit up to right himself.

“What do you want?” you whined at him, taking quick breaths. You held your hands out in front of you to block anymore attacks he might make.

He smiled at you, his chest moving just as fast while trying to regain the air in his lungs. His hands were out following the movement of your own. “I want you to love me.”

You scoffed at him, batting at one of his hands that was coming too close to your ticklish side. “I do love you. Now leave me be so I can read in peace.”

His smile grew. “Sí, but I want you to love me right now. Préstame atención.”

“You’re worse than a cat.”

“Eso es porque soy un cachorro,” he giggled again.

Before you could make another snide remark, he grabbed both your hands and pinned them above your head.

“Chris,” you cried in panic. You couldn’t handle it if he began tickling you again.

“Shhh.” He bent down and placed a kiss on your forehead. His lips lingered for several seconds. They felt so soft.  He lifted slightly and whispered to you, “Close your eyes.”

You did as you were told, feeling calmer after his first kiss.

He moved his lips over your right eyelid, kissing it the same length as he did your forehead. He then did the same to the left eyelid. This pattern followed to your right cheek, then left, chin, right side of your neck, throat, left side.

The warm spicy, woody scent of his cologne filled your nose. You felt your heart beating faster.

You didn’t mean to whimper, and you especially didn’t mean for him to hear it, but he did and chuckled once again. “You still want to read your book?” he teasingly bit his lip.

You opened your eyes and sent daggers in his direction. “I don’t like you.”

He laughed easily and shook his hair from his eyes. “I know, because you love me.” His lips were now on yours. They felt even smoother compared to when they pressed against your forehead. They rested there as they had in all the other places he kissed on your face. You caught more vanilla and amber radiating off his skin. He trusted you enough to let go of your hands.

You were already too invested in the kiss to push him away and instead wove your fingers in his umber locks.

He parted his lips, causing you to do the same. Your top lip was sucked into his mouth, and you pulled his bottom one into your own. Orange juice from breakfast lingered on him. His right hand tightened around the fabric of your shirt on your side as his left tangled in your hair. His tongue slid against your lips and you allowed it to enter the cavern of your mouth.

You moaned, taking in his taste and breath. More orange juice and even some syrup invaded your taste buds, along with what was naturally Christopher. You pushed your tongue into his mouth, moving in the same languid pace, grabbing his hair and smirking as you made him moan.

Christopher nipped at your bottom lip and tugged on it lightly to return the favor. He tasted you again, taking his time to memorize the curve of your lips with his own and feel the slow sway and rhythm of both your tongues, wet and silky. His hand pulling at your shirt let go and moved up to cup your breast, his other gripping your hair tighter.

You heard him giggle slightly as he elicited another moan from you. You moved your hands to push you from the bed. 

He followed your movement and allowed you to sit up and crawl into his lap. Chris moved his hands to under your shirt to rest on your lower back and to grip the hair on the back of your head. The warmth of being so close to him mixed with his heated musky, sweet aroma was intoxicating.

You clung onto his shoulder blades, pausing the kiss to look into his deep chocolate eyes. “You’re not fair,” you breathed. He really wasn’t. Especially looking down at you through his beautifully long lashes. It was hard to catch your breath, and at the same time you needed more of him.

His smile widened and then he kissed your nose. “If I was I’d be Joel.”

That caused you to smile in return. “If you were Joel, at least you’d be manly.”

“Ay!”

You quickly bit at his earlobe playfully before he could get too pouty. You nibbled on the soft, delicate flesh. “I’m just joking,” you purred into his ear. You moved to peck at his red, swollen lips. You slipped your tongue back into his mouth.

If he was in any way upset by the comment, his tongue certainly didn’t show it. Nor did his lips or hands.

You started becoming lightheaded from the kissing, almost dizzy. The wet sounds, silken touches, sweet taste. You broke away and took a deep breath.

Christopher continued though, trailing moist kisses under your chin and on your neck. When his lips were at the lower side of your collar, he pressed kisses in the same spot. The area felt so hot, each kiss stoking the flame of your desire.

You knew what would come next, but still gasped when he sucked on your skin. Your hands moved back to his hair from his shoulders, stirring the fragrance of his shampoo. 

The bruise would be big from how hard he inhaled. You didn’t care, gripping his sleek locks tighter. You were happy to be marked as his and groaned when you felt his teeth. Your chest lifted into him as he caused your back to arch.

Finally, he let up and looked back at you with a self-satisfied smile. He licked his already glossy lips and eyed yours once more. Before he could move to kiss you again, your stomach grumbled loudly and you both looked down at it. His playful smirk was back and you grinned sheepishly at him. He looked over at the clock by the nightstand. “I guess it’s been a while since breakfast. What are you hungry for, nena?”

You bit your lip, still a little shy from how loud the growl was. “Left overs from last night would be good.”

Christopher leaned forward, giving you several chaste kisses, then started to get up from the bed.

“Wait, can you grab my book please?”

He glanced at you, pretending to glare, but his smile gave him away. “You’re gonna make me fight off the book again?”

“You can lay on my chest while I read after we eat?”

His mocha eyes looked into yours for a while, debating if this was an idea that appeased him. “Fine, but I make no promises to keep my hands to myself.”

“When do you ever?”

He left the bed and bent over to pick up the discarded book, giving you the perfect opportunity to smack his ass. “Ay!” he cried again.

“I did say I would.”

His mischievous smile was back, and you knew instantly he most definitely would not be keeping his hands to himself after lunch. He gently placed the book next to you and sweetly smooched you again. “Tienes suerte que te quiero.”

“Oh please, as if you don’t also love your butt being touched.”

He giggled, pressed one more kiss to your lips and left to fix lunch for the two of you.

~Admin V

[kiribakutrash33]

In the time it took me to type this up I officially hit 200 followers!! WHAT?! You guys are awesome and I'm glad you appreciate my blog. So here is my gift to you: Coffee Riot chapter 2

The One Where They Have dinner

Bakugou was actually feeling a little nervous for his dinner with Kirishima. He was restless since leaving Coffee Riot earlier that morning, he went home and tried to get some more work done but he just couldn't focus. He had changed his outfit at least three different times before settling on a pair of loose fitting black jeans and a plain maroon t shirt. He wanted to look nice but he also didn't want tot look like he had tried too hard, he was Bakugou Katsuki after all, he wasn't going to let a little date get to him. He looked at his phone, it was 6:40, that wasn't too early to show up right?

Bakugou made his way down the street to Coffee Riot and knocked on the door. All of the lights in the shop were off except for the fairy lights strung through the rafters on the ceiling. He saw the red head coming out of the back and watched him as his whole face lit up when he saw it was Bakugou at the door. Kirishima waved at him as he opened the door and locked it behind him. Bakugou took that moment that Kirishima had his back turned to check him out. His hair was spiked like normal, he had on a red button down shirt and tight fitting dark wash jeans with a hole in the left knee, and as his eyes traveled down he noticed Kirishima was wearing red crocs that matched his shirt. He couldn't help the huffed laugh that escaped from him, it must have been loud enough for the red head to hear because he turned around and gave Bakugou a looked that asked what he was laughing at. Bakugou waived his hand in front of him in dismissal.

"Do you like spicy food?" Again Bakugou didn't think he was going to get tired of watching Kirishima mouth the words he was signing any time soon.

"Yea...spicy is good." Krishima took his time signing his words to make sure he didn't mess up what he wanted to say.

Bakugou made sure to sign a little slower since the other man was still learning. "There is a curry place not far from here, it's pretty good." Kirishima nodded at him and they started walking towards Fatgum Curry. After living here for two months it was the only place that Bakugou had found that made curry spicy enough for his liking. Most people couldn't handle the spice level, he was curious to see what Kirishima's reaction would be.

They arrived five minutes later and snagged a table towards the back of the restaurant. Once seated Kirishima started signing, "I'm really excited. I'm happy you asked me to dinner. I would like to know more about you."

"Ask whatever," Bakugou didn't mind answering questions about himself, plus this meant he got to ask questions he had been wanting answers to, he also quickly added, "I can also read lips...if that helps you. Just talk a little slower".

He could have sworn the smile he got from Kirishima actually radiated heat it was so big and bright. The waiter came by to take there orders and Bakugou typed out what he wanted on his phone and showed it to the man, he watched as Kirishima placed his order and then turned his full attention back to him.

"Okay, so how long have you lived out here?" Kirishima started talking while he was signing and it almost looked like it gave the other man a confidence boost.

"Moved here two months ago. Needed to get away from the city" Bakugou answered honestly. The city felt suffocating, there were to many cars and people, he liked his space. "what about you, are you from around here?"

"Yea I grew up maybe twenty minutes away from here. I always wanted to own my own coffee shop and the location is perfect. It also helps that my apartment is right above Coffee Riot, no commute." Bakugou tucked that little nugget of information away for later. Kirishima followed that with a question of his own, "What do you do for work?"

"Web design. I can work from home though so me moving wasn't a big deal."

Their food finally arrived at the table and Bakugou was surprised to see that Kirishima had ordered the same thing as him, it was the spiciest curry on the menu. He watched as the other man smiled and dug into his meal. He didn't know a lot about the red head yet but from what he had seen he was becoming more and more fond of the other man and quickly, which was weird for him. Bakugou had always kept his distance from people, yea he had been out on dates here and there but he never really felt the urge to go out of his way to spend time with people like he did with Kirishima.

The meal was punctuated with questions from Kirishima, he wasn't joking when he said he wanted to learn more about Bakugou. "So what do you like to do for fun?"

"'I like to hike, moving here lets me be a little closer to the mountains which I like, I like to cook too, work out in my spare time."

"Such manly hobbies," again Bakugou let out a little huffed laugh and a smile, Kirishima definitely had and interesting take on the word manly.

"What about you?"

"Well running a business take a lot of my time, but I like to hang with my friends, play video games, definitely have to hit the gym a few times a week, most nights usually end with me just hanging out with my cat though." He said that last part with a laugh.

"Oh you have a cat?"

"Yea man, she's so cute. Her name is M-o-m-o." Kirishima reached into his pocket to pull out his phone, he started scrolling until he found what he was looking for. When he turned his phone around he saw a picture of Kirishima laughing with a little white and grey cat on his shoulders looking more interested in whatever was going on behind the phone.

"I like cats."

"Well maybe you can come over and meet her some time, she loves people."

"Sounds like her owner."

Kirishima blushed at that last statement with a small smile and set his phone down on the table. A few minutes later the waiter came back to give them the tab and let the men know they would be closing in a few minutes. Kirishima quickly grabbed the receipt and headed to the register to pay.

Bakugou was actually having a good time and wasn't looking forward to the night ending. He noticed that Kirishima had walked away and left his phone on the table. He quickly snagged the thing and programmed his number in it, Bakugou was nothing if not bold when it came to getting what he wanted and what he wanted was to keep talking to Kirishima and see him more outside of the coffee shop. Once he put his number in he shot himself a quick text so he would have Kirishima's number, then he deleted the evidence. He wanted it to be a surprise.

Once Kirishima gets back he picked up his phone from the table and waits for Bakugou to get up, they head to the door and out into the night. They start walking back to Coffee Riot side by side and Bakugou definitely notices that Kirishima keeps bumping into him as they walk. He doesn't mind the contact so he doesn't stop it, just continues walking with a small grin on his face. When they get back to Coffee Riot Kirishima steps in front of Bakugou and turns to face him.

"I had a lot of fun tonight."

"Yeah me too." Just like earlier in the day Kirishima looked like he had something else he wanted to say so Bakugou just waited watching the as the other man's cheeks as they started to turn pink.

"I was thinking....maybe....maybe we could do this again. Hang out outside of the coffee shop...maybe..." Bakugou cut Kirishima off right there with a firm kiss. It wasn't a hungry or rough kiss, just a peck that only lasted for a few seconds to get the other man to realize his intentions. When he pulled away he could have sworn that Kirishima's blush matched his hair at this point.

"I would like that very much" Bakugou started to walk away leaving a happy but stunned Kirishima standing at the door to the coffee shop. He waved back at the red head and watched as he smiled and did the same. Bakugou walked the few blocks back to his own apartment and decided to use what he did at the restaurant.

Me: I really had fun tonight. I'll see you tomorrow for coffee

A few minutes later he got a response.

Shitty Hair: me 2. cnt wait 2 do it again

That text was quickly followed by another

Shitty Hair: when did u put ur #in my phone?

Me: when you got up to pay

Shitty Hair: O. Sneaky, but hey now i can tlk 2 u more =D

Me: that's why I did it. easier to talk through text sometimes too

They continued to text back and forth for another hour or so until Bakugou had a hard time keeping his eyes open. He said goodnight to Kirishima and headed to bed. He really couldn't wait to go get his morning coffee, and maybe another kiss.

[miseryff]

22. Playing Games

Paris

Dre’s dick game was immaculate. And when I say immaculate I mean free of flaws. There was no wrong he could do as he gave me deep strokes in the back seat of the Rover. That was five hours ago and I was laid up beside my nigga, having sex flashback from the next man. I know I’m a slut and I’ve accepted that fact many years ago. Derrick was knocked the fuck out beside me. I found his ass slumped in the club beside Fred, who was getting a lil lapdance from some chick.

My dad helped me carry him to my car, and I drove us home. I wasn’t lit or anything since Dre fucked all the liquor out of me. I’m kind of glad that Derrick was passed out because I don’t think I would have been able to have sex with him tonight. My pussy needed a rest after the beating Dre gave it. I honestly do not know what I am doing in regards to Dre, but I do know that I am not going to stop fucking him.

When Derrick is back in Texas I am going to need dick. Dre confessed his feelings for me at the perfect time, if we are being honest. A light laugh escaped my mouth as I searched for the ‘Hidden’ album in my photo gallery. This was where I kept my nudes and even some home movies of me and the niggaz I dealt with. My most recent nude was taken sometime last week when I was lit off this edible in the crib.

I quickly composed a text to ‘Big bro’ aka Dre, along with the photo. The message read ‘When we fuckin again?’  with a green heart. It was pushing 4 in the morning and I went to lock my phone when a message came in.

Big bro: pull up 2mm

I chuckled before liking the message. Yea, he’s with the shits. That’s how I like my niggaz.

xxx

“Now look at you, in bed sick as fuck. All cause you wanted to be grown and mix Dusse with weed. You know you be smoking on exotic so why you did that to yourself babe?” I was purposely annoying Derrick because babe was in bed hung the fuck over.

“Pass me the water and shut the fuck up.”

I shook my head at him but still picked up the water from the nightstand to hand to him. “Take these pills before you drink it.” I tossed two Advil AM pills in his waiting palm, and watched as he took it with the water. “You hungry? Want me to make you sumn?” I was getting ready to go home. I needed to soak in a nice bath and chill before I went to link Dre.

“Nah my stomach can’t take food right now. You coming back later?” He picked up the pillow that was covering his face, to send me a hopeful glance. “Yes, baby. And ima bring you dinner. Call me if you need anything though, and I’ll come back over.”

He groaned as response before sending me a thumbs up. I lifted the pillow from his face and pressed my lips to his soft ones. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Paris.” Hearing those words put a permanent smile on my face as I exited his bedroom. I did love Derrick, but I also knew that commitment was a tricky area for me. What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. That’s a policy I chose to live by, so that meant he would never know about me and Dre fucking.

The house was quiet as shit when I got home. My dad’s car was in the driveway though so I figured he spent the night here with my mom. My siblings we nowhere to be found, but that was a regular occurrence. These two were active as fuck, especially since it was the summer time. Caelyn probably took Carter to the mall or the movies. It was 2:30pm so they was out cuttin’ up somehow.

I took a long bath and shower before throwing on a nude colored romper along with my floral gucci slides, and a cross body gucci bag to match. Calm fit for a dick appointment. I decided to stop by Wendy’s and pick up some food for Dre and I. I knew his order since we got the exact same thing at Wendy’s every time. Spicy 6-pc nuggets, large fries, and a Strawberry lemonade.

I didn’t tell Dre that I was coming because I never did. I usually just popped up and started banging on his door. Scaring the shit out of his drug dealer ass. I decided to play nice today and knock softly on his apartment door. He opened quickly but the face I saw wasn’t Dre’s. Who was this bitch?

“Can I help you?” The Paris look-a-like spoke with a little bit of an attitude. I chuckled before raising my voice. “Dre! Where the fuck you at?” I was gonn push past her but I wanted Dre to bring his ass out from wherever the fuck he was at.

The girl mugged me for a minute until Dre pushed her out of the way to greet me at the door. He took the Wendy’s bag from my possession before allowing me to enter the crib first. “Paris, this is Kayla, she was just leaving. Kayla, this my sis Paris.”

The Kayla chick didn’t seem to buy the whole ‘bro and sis’ talk because she called Dre a ‘dog ass nigga’ before making her exit. Shawty slammed the shit out of his door too. “You fucked shawty before I got here?” I asked with genuine curiosity. Whether he did or not didn’t really matter to me. Just needed to know why he needed my pussy if he was already getting some ass today.

He shook his head since his mouth was filled with french fries. “Naw, she came by to get some of her shit. She moving to Jersey I guess.” He shrugged, not really interested. “She kept her Ugg slides her and clothes in a drawer.”

“Clothes in a drawer? That sounds serious.” I teased as I dipped a nugget in barbecue sauce. He shook his head once more; “you got clothes here in a drawer too. Are we serious?”

“Good point.” We shared a brief laugh before eating in silence. “What we doing, Paris? Just fucking?”

“Yeah... I would hope so.”

“Aight, cool...”

“So hurry up and eat cause I need you to do that thumb in the butt combo again.” He laughed loud as fuck, damn near choking on his french fries. I sent him an innocent smile but I was being dead ass serious. I should make him eat my ass since he like playing around back there so much.

“You took the plan B?”

“Naw, ima get it after I leave here.” He nodded and said nothing more as he ate his food. I could not keep my eyes off his to save my life. I always thought Dre was fine as fuck but he never tried to fuck me, or he would always dubb my advances. So the fact that we fucked last night, and was about to have round 2 in a couple minutes had me kind of shook.

Never thought I would see the day.

xxx

“You good, baby? How you feeling?”

“I’m doing aight, babe. Need you here laid up with me though. When ima see you?” I blushed a lil bit before sitting up in bed. “I can be there in 30. Just lemme take a shower. You hungry?”

“Yeah I’m hungry now. Can you stop by Rico’s and get me a sandwich?” I knew exactly which sandwich he wanted too. “Yes I can do that. I’ll see you soon.” I ended the call and looked over my shoulder at Dre. He was sitting up against the headboard, shirtless and smoking a blunt. My bottom lip slipped into my mouth and I crawled up to be beside him.

He put the blunt to my lips and held it as I took a long pull. We held eye contact as the smoke escaped my lips. I had no shirt on either, only my thong. His eyes rested on my breasts for a little while before he told me to put my ass in the air.

“You bout to go see ya nigga?”

I moaned as he brushed his thumb against my ass. I was already wet and he was teasing me. “Mmm, I’m not thinking bout him right now though. Put ya thumb in--”

“You want me to fuck you but you bout to go see ya nigga. You playing a dangerous game, Paris.”

“Dre, shut the fuck up and eat my ass.” Hard slaps were sent to both my ass cheeks and even though they hurt like a motherfucker... that shit had me leaking. “Who the fuck you talking to?” He barked before grabbing my hair and pulling me back to him. His dick was pressed against my ass and his lips were pressed to my ear.

“Why ya lil ass playing games with me?”

“What games, baby?” I couldn’t stop the moans from leaving my mouth. I was horny as fuck and this nigga just casually had his dick sitting on my ass. “Can you just fuck the shit out of me? I want you to...” I was dead ass going to beg for this niggaz dick as if I didn’t have some Houston, Texas dick waiting for me in Long Island.

“You playing games with me. But it’s aight, this the last time we fucking.”

“You be like.” I chuckled before arching my back, and waiting to feel his lips up against my ass. “Lick from my ass to my pussy, now.”

[pettybkang]

I’M FINE

Group: Victon

Pairing: Y/N + Seungwoo.

Genre: Secret dating!AU 

Word count: 2k+

Description: Seungwoo isn’t perfect. He likes spicy food way too much and turns the AC on too high at night. He also works as a dance teacher, which doesn’t pay that well and happens to scream too loud whenever he gets excited. He works out too early in the morning and likes to video call Y/N right after - waking her up earlier than she would like. But the thing is… She loves him. She loves his sleepy voice in the morning, even though it’s early. She loves his weird fashion sense and sometimes even his bucket hats and the hair that falls on his eyes. She loves his voice and it doesn’t really matter how loud it gets. She loves every single thing about him.

Bella’s boyfriend is perfect. And Y/N hates him for it. 

Sejun has a very stable job - that pays really really well -, he doesn’t steal Bella from her best friend on the weekends and he dresses pretty much like a celebrity. He also doesn’t look that bad. He drives them both to cities nearby whenever they want to and he gives Bella pretty expensive wine - which she always shares with Y/N. He also introduced Bella to what became Y/N’s favorite restaurant. 

There’s not a single thing wrong with the man. He has money, good taste and makes her friend happy. 

And maybe that’s the reason Y/N has been hiding her own boyfriend from Bella for months. 

The girls met when they were teenagers and have been friends ever since. Now older than their early twenties, with their own places to live and jobs to work at, they are best friends. Bella has always been the one that would date - she has had more girlfriends and boyfriends that one can count in a hand and she’s not ashamed of it - so it wasn’t a surprise when Bella introduced Sejun to Y/N - did the older one think this relationship wouldn’t last and Bella would be tired of him in three months? Maybe. Sejun is a Taurus, stubborn, aesthetic pleasing and has a great taste for food. He likes to sleep and cuddle a lot more than he lets out and is great at everything he sets his mind on. Maybe it was their stubbornness that kept them together, but when Y/N realized they had been together for two years. 

And that’s when she met Seungwoo. 

Seungwoo isn’t perfect. He likes spicy food way too much and turns the AC on too high at night. He also works as a dance teacher, which doesn’t pay that well and happens to scream too loud whenever he gets excited. He works out too early in the morning and likes to video call Y/N right after - waking her up earlier than she would like. But the thing is… She loves him. She loves his sleepy voice in the morning, even though it’s early. She loves his weird fashion sense and sometimes even his bucket hats and the hair that falls on his eyes. She loves his voice and it doesn’t really matter how loud it gets. She loves every single thing about him. 

But he isn’t perfect. And she has known Sejun for years now. 

It’s hard not to compare them. 

So in a desperate need to overthink every single one of her decisions, she asked Seungwoo to keep them a secret from now. She has told Bella she’s taking culinary classes on Fridays and that’s the reason they can’t meet anymore… Her friend bought the excuse right away. At first, it was supposed to be a month only thing and then she would tell her. But then Sejun got promoted. And then Sejun bought her a bottle of Moët. And then Sejun took her to Paris… It was impossible to compete. And a month turned into five. 

It was getting harder and harder to hide her boyfriend from her best friend. 

Bella would invite her to her place on the weekend and Y/N would have to come up with crazy excuses because Seungwoo was supposed to spend the weekend over at her place. Or Bella would invite her for dinner and she would have to come up with a last-minute excuse to work late. 

It was even harder because Bella and Seungwoo lived in the same neighborhood. Two streets away from each other. She would always pray Bella wouldn’t see her on the street, walking to Seungwoo’s place and not hers on a Saturday afternoon. 

But one day what Y/N feared the most happened. 

“You won’t believe what I heard at the supermarket today!” Bella said the moment she walked into Y/N’s apartment. 

It had been a while since the last time they spent time together, so Bella had brought a whole arsenal of wine bottles and chicken nuggets to Y/N’s place that night in hopes they would manage to stay awake and catch up. 

“Mn? What was it?” Y/N said, mindlessly helping her friend with the shopping bags. She was putting the sparkling wine into the fridge and almost dropped a bottle when she heard Bella telling the story. 

“So, I was at the checkout line okay… Holding all this wine and whatever. Then a tall guy stops behind me.. That’s fine, you know. He looked a little tired, hair on his face, a bit wet and everything. And then I noticed he was talking on the phone, so I took a step further in order to give him a little privacy but then! Listen, I’m not even joking, he started giggling so hard I had to pay attention to what he was saying,” whenever Bella started talking she just would never stop so it did take her a while to tell Y/N the whole story indeed. “And he was calling a girl a jealous baby all lovey-dovey, all giggles and stuff. It was so funny. And then he said my jealous baby and I wanted to laugh so fucking bad, you have no idea,” Y/N was starting to recognize those words and was starting to panic a little, already looking for a bottle of wine to uncork and maybe drink half of it. “He kept going for a while with the whole my jealous baby thing and then told the girl we should make this mine and yours thing official, don’t you think? and I swear… I wanted to turn around and tell him to just I don’t know. I don’t even know.” 

Bella was laughing as they clinked their glasses and then drank from them. She sipped but Y/N finished half of it.

Why? Well. Because that was the exact conversation she had had with Seungwoo on the phone earlier that day. He had just left his last class and had gone to the supermarket to get some bread and a few beers, had teased her about calling a few of his girl friends over since Bella was going over to her place and she had insisted it was different. She had pouted and he said he could hear it through the phone… And called her a jealous baby. And the rest… well, Bella had heard the rest and even made fun of it. 

She had no idea how she would tell her about Seungwoo now. It’s hard for Bella to forget a face and Y/N knows. And she would never let Seungwoo go if she recognizes him. Also, she would never let Y/N hear the end of it… She has been telling Bella for years now that she doesn’t need to date, that she hates romance and cheesy things and that she’s fine alone. The fact that she has a clingy boyfriend that likes to be stupid over the phone? Bella would have a field day. 

After finishing her glass in two goes and answering Bella’s “Is everything okay?” with a very quick and nervous “I’m fine!” Y/N excused herself to the bathroom and took her phone with her. She texted Seungwoo and asked him if maybe… Just maybe… He noticed a curly-haired girl at the checkout line… If maybe, just maybe, her hair happened to be pink and she was maybe, just maybe, wearing black pants and a striped orange and white shirt.  

The reply came right away.

Uh, yes. Why? Is everything okay? -SH 

Oh… That’s Bella. She might have heard us on the phone. -Y/N 

Oh, shit. -SH 

Oh shit, indeed, Y/N wanted to say. 

Good thing he hadn’t called her name and Bella hadn’t paid attention to more of that conversation because they had been talking about maybe… letting people know they were together. 

Y/N got out of the bathroom a good five minutes later and Bella had already made herself comfortable in the kitchen - getting the nuggets ready in the oven. 

The one hiding the boyfriend felt nervous like never before. It was impossible for Bella to know, right? She hadn’t heard much and she has never seen Seungwoo before. She doesn’t even know Y/N has met him, she never even mentioned him before. There was a weekend months ago that Sejun had taken Bella to a nearby city to celebrate an anniversary of sorts - the first kiss, he likes to celebrate that one for some reason - and Y/N decided to try something new and go to a dance recital. A colleague of hers would dance so, why not? That’s where she met Seungwoo. A said colleague introduced them and maybe... Just maybe… They have been inseparable ever since. 

All the wine was helping ease Y/N’s mind so when they sat down on her couch and started to browse Netflix for something to watch, she had almost forgotten about the incident already. Bella hadn’t mentioned it again and Y/N couldn’t thank her friend enough for never shutting up because now she was complaining about a new coworker who was making her life difficult and it had nothing to do with the guy at the checkout line. 

A movie was chosen, another bottle of wine was opened and the nuggets were done. And Bella was now talking about Sejun. 

Dangerous territory again. Y/N downed another glass of wine. 

Bella came back with the nuggets, placing the bowl on the couch and settling down again, waiting for Y/N to press play. 

Only then she shut up. 

For ten minutes maybe. 

Maybe Y/N shouldn’t have let her choose a romcom movie. Whose idea was it to watch Set It Up anyway? Two people who try to set their bosses up so they can have free time from work? Is this even a nice movie? 

It is. It’s a great movie. Especially because Y/N is a fan of sports and so is Seungwoo. And she wants to talk about him and boasts about him and tell her best friend that her boyfriend bought them tickets to the Lakers game next week, but she can’t… Because Bella doesn’t even know he exists. And because Sejun might have taken Bella to the Superbowl a month ago. 

So she holds it in and watched the movie quietly. Bella has a comment here and there, sips from her wine, eats her nuggets, all while Y/N downs glass after glass of wine. 

Until she’s a little too drunk to hold it in. 

To be quite honest, Y/N is a little tired of hiding it. If Bella is really her best friend, why would she have to? Maybe Sejun has a better job and sounds way more cool than her silly man, but she has seen the way he drools over her best friend. And she has seen him in the morning and Sejun’s sleepy face looks grumpy and confused while Seungwoo’s looks soft and well-rested. Her boyfriend has his own perfectness too. 

So while the characters are finding out that maybe they have been set up together and Bella is ranting about how they should just ignore it and have fun because they enjoyed each other’s companies… Y/N decides to cut her off with a simple and direct “I have a boyfriend.” 

There’s a long pause. Silence from Bella. She downs her wine, pauses the TV and looks at her best friend. 

“You have a what now?” 

“A boyfriend.” 

“Are you… sure? Y/N, you’re drunk.” 

“Drunk and taken.” 

“Is it that Hwa guy again? I told you he’s not a very ni-” 

“No! No Hwa guy.” 

Bella eyed the bottle and noticed it was empty. Y/N, on the other hand, had shoved a nugget on her mouth to maybe shut her own thoughts too. With a sigh, Bella nodded and clapped her hand - getting into work mode maybe. 

“What’s his name?” she asked and Y/N pointed at her mouth, showing her best friend that she was taking her time chewing that nugget. “You don’t get to tell me you’re dating and then not tell me about the guy!” 

Y/N rolled her eyes and kept chewing. Maybe Bella could forget about the boyfriend thing? She wasn’t proud of all the decisions she took while drunk. 

“Wait…” Bella said when she was almost done. “Wait!” she sounded more excited now, which was a bit dangerous. “So Sejun wasn’t mistaken!” Y/N had a confused face on as Bella continued. “A few weeks ago he told me he saw you kiss a guy at the park near my place. He was 100% super it was you, but you had told me you were going to that culinary course of yours or whatever. Tall guy, he said, a bit strong and whatever. I didn’t believe him but oh my god! You’ve been hiding this from me for how long now???” 

Y/N wanted to stuff one of those nuggets into Bella’s mouth. 

So it turns out perfect Sejun was a snitch. And Bella trusted her above else. 

Good to know. 

After opening another bottle of wine and downing another glass, Y/N told her everything. How she met Seungwoo, how they started dating, how he proposed, where he lived, who is he and what does he do. Bella asked what his favorite food is because that’s the kind of person that she is and was very pleased to know it’s not some weird vegan recipe. She asked for photos and for stories, not mentioning Sejun once. She fired question after question about Seungwoo. What is he like in the morning? Does he dress well? Does he drive? Can he ride a bike? What’s his favorite color? Is he a Leo? What’s his Instagram name? 

The movie was obviously forgotten and another bottle of wine was over. 

When Y/N mentioned that the reason she hasn’t told her yet was because of Sejun, Bella might have given her a face and rolled her eyes. And then shit talked Sejun for another half an hour. Because he eats avocado with sugar and always steals the blanket. And he annoys her whenever he drinks too much coffee and likes to send a lot of emojis to tell her he loves her. 

Mr. Perfect wasn’t as perfect as Y/N thought. 

And maybe telling her best friend about her boyfriend wasn’t as bad as expected. 

They did arrange for the boyfriend to meet the next weekend. Bella did recognize him as the guy from the supermarket and they had a nice laugh about the jealous baby thing. Sejun and Seungwoo got along. Bella and Y/N would stare at them with hearts on their eyes. 

Now they could plan double dates. Travel to Paris in couples. And even share dinners at their favorite restaurants together. All of them happy, laughing and definitely not single. 

What did you think of I’M FINE? Let me know!

[wherethewindtakesher]

actually all qs cuz I wanna get to know u :) boink!

OF COURSE BOINK ANON!

I will be excluding the ones Ive done (:

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? Wine glasses/water bottles c:

3. bubblegum or cotton candy? Bubblegum! im not really a big fan of cotton candy tbh.

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? for some reason, soda from plastic cups hit different 😞

7. earbuds or headphones? headphones in the winter, earbuds in the summer.

9. favorite smell in the summer? the smell of my oncoming de- the smell of flowers blooming.

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day? it depends, some mornings I skip breakfast all together, others i’ll have a light snack, or I just have some cereal or make an egg.

12. name of your favorite playlist? ‘Recently added’

13. lanyard or key ring? landyard so I can find my keys easily. I still lose it tho-

14. favorite non-chocolate candy? spicy or sour candies are dope a f.

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? The first book I read that I actually enjoyed was twilight.

16. most comfortable position to sit in? with my legs w I d e open because I cant sit properly.

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? my tan/floral converses.

18. ideal weather? cloudy, cold, and raining 😌.

19. sleeping position? on my stomach, leg raised to my abdomen while the other is in the open air, and hands underneath my pillow. the BEST.

21. obsession from childhood? picking my scabs-

22. role model? my mom and sisters.

24. favorite crystal? garnet. It’s also my birthstone! I have it as a gem for my class ring.

25. first song you remember hearing? “bidi bidi mom mom” by selena quintanilla.

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather? if it’s not scorching hot, go on walks.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather? snuggle up in a blanket and watch movies.

28. five songs to describe you? ‘humble’ kendrick lamar, ‘cry baby’ melanie martinez, ‘stupid’ ashnikko, ‘paparazzi’ lady gaga, ‘or nah’ ty dollar $ign.

29. best way to bond with you? send me M E M E S-

30. places that you find sacred? my bed.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? ripped jeans, boots, a crop top, and a jacket.

33. most used phrase in your phone? fuck.

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? that empire carpet wash commercial.

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing? DAT BOI.

37. suitcase or duffel bag? duffel bag.

38. lemonade or tea? how about both of them combined 😉.

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? I hate pie 🙊

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? someone brought a gun and it fell out of their backpack during 2nd period.

41. last person you texted? @caws5749

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets? pants pockets. BUT THE DEEP ONES NOT THOSE SMALL FUCKING ONES.

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? hoodies or a bomber jacket.

44. favorite scent for soap? Lavender.

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? superhero!

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? naked-

47. favorite type of cheese? queso fresco.

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? mango.

49. what saying or quote do you live by? “im a bad bitch you cant kill me”

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? anytime my friends and I joke around.

51. current stresses? school, personal issues, and my NEW JOB THATS RIGHT YALL YO GIRL EMPLOYED.

52. favorite font? calibri.

53. what is the current state of your hands? kinda rough but smooth.

54. what did you learn from your first job? that people fucking suck.

55. favorite fairy tale? little red riding hood.

56. favorite tradition? eating tamales during christmas time.

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? that im not perfect, my flaws are just as beautiful as my perfections, and that im just ug-

58. four talents you’re proud of having? im not talented aT ALL. uh...

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? ‘let’s fuck ‘em up’

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? sasuke from naruto or mey-rin from kuroshitsuji.

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? “see you in a minute”

62. seven characters you relate to? natasha, cristina yang, dexter, ford, thor, scott lang, and tony.

63. five songs that would play in your club? ‘bodak yellow’, ‘man of the year’, ‘rockstar’, ‘bickenhead’, ‘slumber party’.

64. favorite website from your childhood? I forgot the name but it was that educational site with the orange robot and human.

65. any permanent scars? my entire body is riddled in scars no joke.

66. favorite flower(s)? hibiscus and roses.

67. good luck charms? my dog’s name tag.

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? onions-

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? that cracking your joints won't give you arthritis.

70. left or right handed? im mixed handed but I do the majority of stuff with my right.

71. least favorite pattern? plaid.

72. worst subject? MATH FJSKSJKFSJS I HATE IT.

73. favorite weird flavor combo? have yall tried chocolate milk with chicken nuggets-

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? 8-9 because I tend to fight back and not admit there is something wrong going on 😬.

75. when did you lose your first tooth? 2nd grade I believe.

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? for some reason my love of tater tots has come back.

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill? uh cacti?

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? coffee from a gas station cus im not trying to die-

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? oh man, I look like shit in both of them. School id.

80. earth tones or jewel tones? earth tones!

81. fireflies or lightning bugs? ive never seen either 😔.

82. pc or console? i’ve own consoles for most of my life.

83. writing or drawing? writing. I cant draw very well.

84. podcasts or talk radio? podcasts! I listen to ‘last podcast on the left’.

84. barbie or polly pocket? barbies! did anyone make their barbies have sex or was it just me-?

85. fairy tales or mythology? mythology. yall don't know this but I have fallen into the greek mythology rabbit hole-

86. cookies or cupcakes? I fuck heavy with cupcakes TILL THIS DAY.

87. your greatest fear? to see those I love die.

88. your greatest wish? to be happy.

89. who would you put before everyone else? myself.

90. luckiest mistake? guessing on a question and getting it right 😎.

91. boxes or bags? i’ll go with boxes. it makes everything easier to stack and organize.

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? fairy lights are so pretty.

93. nicknames? clown by @caws5749, bottom by @domromanoff, and variations of my real name.

94. favorite season? fall/winter TIMEEEEE.

95. favorite app on your phone? mario kart. if anyone wants to be friends give me your friend code-

96. desktop background? it’s black with a colorful smoke cloud exploding.

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized? mine and my oldest sister’s because she has had that same number since I was in the WOMB.

98. favorite historical era? I would say the WWII era since ive studied more about it than any other era.

UPDATE; this would've been done last night but my screen decided to just crash and not save anything I had done and my girl sent my ass to bed so I couldn't finish it but here ya go boink!

[whereisfootball]

2018 MLS Kit Branding Reimagined

The 2018 Major League Soccer season is nearly underway. It’s been a long offseason and we’re hyped to have it back.

Our friends Tap In have a lot of new, exciting MLS content coming this year on their guide, and in celebration of that, we decided to partner on a fun little project.

In a bid to add a little more personality to what is largely bland, impersonal sponsorship real estate on each kit, we reimagined every team’s jersey with something new in the middle of it. Some of these are local companies, others are prospective partners who have some fun link to the team, and others will probably just be arcane jokes that won’t land.

Nevertheless, we thought this was a fun way to bring a few of our favorite things together: Friendship, Photoshop & American soccer.

Please enjoy.

Atlanta United — Waffle House

An iconic southern restaurant with its roots in Atlanta, Waffle House is open 24/7, 365—and it’s the best. As Waffle House FC will tell you, this is a perfect sponsor for a team that’s tasty on and off the pitch. Their supporters never waver, refusing to shut off for even a single second when they pack the Mercedes-Benz Stadium. They aren’t afraid to do things their own way—which, yes, can sometimes get a bit messy ... but most of the time it’s spot on.

Chicago Fire — Portillo’s

Sorry, it’s important we let you know now that this is probably going to be a food-heavy list as we’re rather fond of eating.

Portillo’s is a Chicago institution known for its hot dogs, Italian beef sandwiches, and an extremely healthy, 100% good for any diet cheese sauce.

While the Fire aren’t yet a Chicago institution themselves, we hope one day pictures of Bob Bradley, Hristo Stoichkov & Ante Razov will line the walls of a Portillo’s near you.

Colorado Rapids — Coors

The beer with mountains on the can that turn from white to blue when it’s cold enough to drink...

The beer that you knew and loved so well from ages 21-24...

The beer brewed with spring water from the very same Rocky range you can spot from the Colorado Rapids’ 18,000-seat soccer specific stadium...

Headquartered in Golden, Colorado and responsible for some of the best nights of your life, we give you Coors on a Rapids jersey...

“Like if Chelsea’s 1994 kit did a gap year in America.”

Columbus Crew — Wendy’s

As the red-headed stepchild of MLS, this one kind of feels right. And the disappearance of the club would be just as sad as when Wendy’s (founded in Columbus) got rid of their spicy chicken nuggets.

#SAVETHECREW

(Note: The actual kit is pretty great and it’s honestly insulting that we did anything to it. We’re sorry.)

DC United — Geico

The Chevy Chase, Maryland-based Geico gecko had some good years there. We all liked him for a while. It was a good bit. But it got stale right around the time Freddy Adu left town. Since then, DC United and the gecko have struggled mightily to find consistent form. Here’s hoping they both find success this year from a new approach.

(And, hey, while we’re here: All the best to you, Freddy.)

FC Dallas — Dr. Pepper

Everyone’s second team, Dr. Pepper, is a lifestyle in Texas. A Lone Star State-staple that pulls a talented 23-flavor squad from all-over—here’s to you Waco and Dublin— Dr. Pepper is an underrated, over-performing outfit with immense local significance … just like their imagined partner in Dallas.

A lot more to be proud of than their trophy cabinet will tell you.

Houston Dynamo — Swishahouse

As Mike Jones, noted soccer superfan, Swishahouse OG, and Everyone’s Favorite Rapper from 2005, once said:

Let ‘em know: Houston Dynamo.

Good enough for us.

LA Galaxy — SpaceX

Space. Galaxy. You get it.

Headquartered a stone’s throw from the LA Galaxy’s stadium in Carson is SpaceX, Elon Musk’s influential private “outer space things” company as it’s scientifically known.

Much like MLS’s most famous and successful franchise, SpaceX is a trailblazer famous for its glamour and willingness to break the mold. This isn’t to say it’s always smooth sailing—for either—but at the end of the day they’re both respected for their vision and performance.

This crossover is too perfect and it’s something that we’ve seen terrific mockups of in the past (though we wish we knew who to credit!). Also worth a shout is this awesome piece from LA Galaxy Confidential, which mentions Tesla as a fun potential partner. 

LAFC — The Boring Company

If the Galaxy is SpaceX, LAFC is The Boring Company.

Elon Musk’s newest endeavor is going to revolutionize Los Angeles by … making tunnels for cars? Oh, and by creating giant vehicles that can travel those tunnels and move lots of people at once … like a train. Hmm. The Boring Company seems like a well-backed but ordinary idea that lacks direction and distinction, with a lot of hype for reasons no one can really explain.

To be blunt, we haven’t really seen much to this point.

The Galaxy have sent a Tesla up into space and revolutionized how we build rockets... but LAFC have so far just made a bunch of flamethrowers and sold out their entire stock. So, we’ll see.

For now, all we’re really sure about is how much better their kit would have looked if they hadn’t put their sponsor in red.

Minnesota United — Prince. Duh.

You can have a Dirty Mind or even be a little Delirious, but you’ll still end up right back here with no Controversy. You can wear it in a Little Red Corvette, in a Purple Rain, When Doves Cry or even put it on Bambi. With this kit, you’ll be a Sexy MF.

Montreal Impact — Cirque du Soleil

What’s wilder than benching Didier Drogba because you’re better without him? One person doing acrobatics on the head of another person while a third person flies through the air holding fire. In French.

Born and headquartered in Quebec, Cirque du Soleil is now the largest theatrical producer in the world. The Impact aren’t even the kings of Canada yet, let alone MLS, but this could be the year they flip their way to the top. Holding fire. In French.

New England Revolution — Sperry’s

Put those Sperry’s on to look the part and take your dad’s boat out on the water. You’ll be as close to Boston as Gillette Stadium and the deck of your boat will probably be as soft as the turf too.

NYCFC — Sbarro.

The Michael-Scott-approved best pizza in New York. The only logical choice.

Sorry, sorry. We’re kidding. Don’t go to Sbarro.

...Let’s try that again...

NYCFC — WeWork.

Much like City Football Group, WeWork is trying to change a model.

For CFG, it’s football clubs. For WeWork, it’s the office space game. WeWork started in New York, born out of an inability to find affordable and available office space in the city—a problem NYCFC knows rather well—and now has an operation that spans across the globe.

Like CFG, it might not be your cup of tea, but it certainly works for a lot of people in NYC and has offered plenty of enterprising young professionals a place to grind. #JackHarrison

New York Red Bulls — Become the MetroStars again.

#Metros4Ever. That is all.

Orlando City — Publix

This one is a no-brainer.

Publix is an employee-owned supermarket chain that serves up some truly delicious food and has fans almost as fanatical as those found on The Wall in Orlando.

Floridians are vocally, passionately, sometimes a bit frighteningly #TeamPublix—and the same can be true for the way purple-clad City supporters get behind their squad.

Philadelphia Union — Wawa

If you know, you know. In their words:

“Wawa is your all day, every day stop for fresh, built-to-order foods, beverages, coffee, fuel services, and surcharge-free ATMs. The stores offer a large fresh food service selection, including Wawa brands such as built-to-order hoagies, freshly brewed coffee, hot breakfast sandwiches, built-to-order specialty beverages, and an assortment of soups, sides and snacks.”

Wawa 4 ever. #SheetzOUT

Portland Timbers — Powell’s

Powell’s City of Books is (supposedly) the largest independent new and used bookstore in the world. It is ginormous and fantastic and you should go if you’re ever in Portland.

We don’t know of any football clubs sponsored by book stores, but if there was ever going to be one, it would play in the Rose City.

Real Salt Lake — High West

Tucked away in a state known primarily for its gorgeous vistas and as the home of the Mormon religion is a really wonderful distillery that will knock your socks off. It also comes with that beautiful mountain view, not unlike Rio Tinto Stadium.

San Jose Earthquakes — Yahoo!

Nothing says cool like needing an exclamation point at the end of your name. Kind of like building a brand new stadium and needing to tell people that you have a really long bar.

As the kit sponsor of the Quakes during their two title runs, we think it’s time for Yahoo! to make a return. (Not sure anyone will use it, though.)

Seattle Sounders — Starbucks

Sorry, we’re those guys. Seattle gave the world Starbucks and we needed to see what that logo would look like on these new kits. 

Plus, much like Starbucks invented coffee, the Sounders invented American soccer.

Sporting Kansas City — Hallmark

A proudly Kansas City company that is all about good vibes, with extensive Wizard of Oz involvement over the years.

That sounds a lot like Sporting KC to us—a team that needed a rough start in order to find its way. Much the same, Hallmark probably would have never become what it is today without extensive setbacks in its early years.

Toronto FC — Tim Hortons

Timbits and trophies: That’s what Toronto does. Nowadays, anyway.

We only had three Canadian teams to give the Tim Hortons love to, so we figured the toast of MLS deserves the world’s most lovely quick-service cafe and bake shop.

Vancouver Whitecaps — Lululemon

Set on the water, with an amazing mountain view, you couldn’t say a bad word about how great Vancouver looks. It’s straight-up cool. And local company Lululemon makes activewear that looks similarly awesome. We are officially here for MLS yoga wear.

————

This post was a collaboration between Where Is Football and Tap In Guide. Check out their stuff—it’s awesome.

A special thanks to Tap In’s graphic designer Mike Arney for helping bring our ideas to life, and to our buddy Ryan Rosenblatt for developing those ideas with us.

As always, you can follow us on Instagram @whereisfootball.

[thejamesoldier]

Bucky & the Beast

Hi all! So this ficlet is for my darling friend Erin’s ( @theassetseyeliner ) AU Writing Challenge! I submitted a request for this prompt on her original post! Please go support her and all the participating authors who worked hard on their submissions :) Now onto the story xxx

Prompt #22: “You were an asshole back in high school but now you’re my boss.”

Overall Tags: a teeny weeny bit of angst, although mostly stifling fluff, some potty mouth language, spicy humor, s l o w b u r n but in ficlet form tho? 

Part 1 of 2

It’s not that you weren’t a nice person...on the inside, very very very deep inside. You just didn’t allow any form of slacking amongst your employees. 

And seeing as you not only own this multi-billion dollar company but also actively run it, you’re pretty sure you have the right to dictate everything that goes on under your nose when it comes to this business. You drove yourself into the grave to get this company where it is now, and you continue to work yourself down to hell every damn day to keep it as successful as it is. 

Of course you know most of your staff views you as a complete tyrant. Of course you know your nickname on all sixty-eight levels of your high rise company building is ‘Bitch’. Of course you know you’re often compared to Miranda Priestly, the star of Devil Wears Prada. Of course you know you’ve been harsh enough to earn some of that resentment.  

But you also know you have the undying respect of every major corporation in the world (which wasn’t easy to get since most of them are fat privileged older men who have too many cultural and moral deficiencies to count). The likes of which was solely earned by unignorable success, brutal consistency, and fear. You wished you didn’t have to be feared in order to be respected by some (most) people, but the ways of the world weren’t going to change that fast unfortunately. 

It surprised you at first how many people tried to take advantage of you, of your company, of your money, of your weaknesses, of practically everything they could manage to find. You were always pretty blunt and a bit maniacal about perfection even back in high school, but having been beaten by an ocean of manipulative greedy people for years now, wave after wave after wave, you’re pretty jagged and dulled to it. You’ve found the only way to survive in this business world is to always expect the worst of people. It keeps you prepared for every situation even if it is an exhausting way to live. 

Sometimes you worry if it is all worth it, but you then remember how much money your company is making and how all of it goes to support people, companies, philanthropies, arts institutions, and schools who need it. If the cost of good being put into this world is your warped personality, then so be it. 

“Barnes I need those write ups on the work Ms. Romanoff’s team did this quarter. I asked for final copies yesterday, why are they late?” You question your head personal assistant in clipped efficient sentences as you strut down the long stretch of a modern elegant hallway, the sleek double doors of your main office looming at the end of it. 

With your Prada high heels clicking sharply (if not a bit ironically) against the marble floor as you make your way to your gilded office, you scroll through an email on your phone sent from one of your board members while you wait for Barnes to put together an answer. The email consists of a polite reminder that you have a Skype call with Stark Industries this afternoon. 

As if you’d forget. 

With a punctuated scoff you burst into your glass office, not having to slow down your stride at all as Barnes moved with practiced haste to hold one of the doors open for you. You don’t bother with a thank you (even if you feel the manners your mother ingrained in you cringe and shriek in horror) but instead head nose up to your simple but stately desk. As you situate yourself behind it, booting up your desktop and quickly scanning some sticky-note reminders Barnes left for you the previous night before crumpling them in one ball and dropping them in the waste bin by your feet, you feel the very short leash you have on your patience strain. 

Without glancing up at him you bark out, “Well?” 

You hear the man clear his throat and know automatically that he’s preparing to take the fall for Romanoff’s team. Barnes always has had this habit to take the heat meant for someone else’s mistake himself, and allow whoever the guilty party is an extra second to fix whatever the problem was. It’s never effected the success of your company, so you’ve always let it slide. If you were being completely honest with yourself you know deep down that that’s why you’ve kept him around so long. James Barnes is the one person (okay maybe besides Natasha Romanoff) who holds the all time record of longest employment in your company. He’s also never been promoted from his place as Head Personal Assistant when you hired him into it a good few years back.  

He’s only craftily brought up the issue of never moving up a few times, not wanting to push his luck with you, but other than that there’s never been a word of complaint like other employees you’ve had. One day when you’ve finally been run down enough, when the world has finally sucked all the life from you, you’ve decided that it’s James who you’ll give the company to. Of course no one knows this, but you made the decision quite some time ago. 

“Ms. Romanoff had an issue with getting a closure on the deal,” Barnes starts up in his trademark baritone tenor of compassion, “She had all the finished documents written up by yesterday, it was me who failed to pass them to you.” 

Still you don’t look at him, but you do silently translate what he’s saying as you open up your email account and start sorting through your inbox for the most important emails. Basically, Barnes is saying:

“Ms. Romanoff had no trouble badgering the client for the final papers, it was the client who failed to turn in everything on time. And since you never blame the client, its professionally Natasha’s fault. So therefore she did not have all the documents written up yesterday but pulled an all-nighter to finish everything and send said polished summary of the transaction to me first thing this morning. I’m lying for her (and probably without her knowledge) because I’m an annoyingly considerate man with pretty eyes and a wicked sharp jaw who is used to your unforgiving nature and shall take the fall for everyone because I am this company’s sparkling hero.” 

Resolutely put-off with the very unprofessional way your mental translation ended up going, your mood sours sufficiently from its already foul natural state. You feel your face pinch deeper into its usual dissatisfied scowl. 

“It is very unlike Ms. Romanoff to have any delays in her work. Give her one of my warnings.” You say in a mildly bitter tone as you reach a hand blindly over your desk towards Barnes in silent demand, while clicking on an email with the other hand and scanning it halfheartedly at the same time.

A packet of paper is slid gently into your expecting fingers and as you place them on the desk space beside your angled keyboard, you hear Barnes tap his thumbs across his phone as he sends you an e-copy of the papers you were just handed. When the email arrives in your inbox with a ding, it serves as the only acknowledgment that you received the email. It also is simultaneously Barnes’ dismissal. 

Only when you hear your assistant sit down at his own smaller desk across the room from yours and start shuffling papers and things around, do you realize that you had automatically begun reading through the transaction summary he sent you. After you triple proof it (even if Natasha has never once made a mistake on her write ups), you forward everything to the cooperation partnering with you on this deal. Your trademark punctuality and promised results the only things that matter to you much these days. 

You cut a quick side glance across the room at Barnes hunched over his own pile of work and wonder if you said thank you the next time he held the door open for you, if he’d make a big deal out of it. With an internal scoff you brush your gushy feelings swiftly away and replace them with your self-made workaholic robot. 

Bucky’s patience with you is growing shorter and shorter each year, month, week, day, and second he works under you. Outwardly he’s mastered himself, but inwardly he’s been stewing and is quite near his boiling point. As he halfheartedly unclips a review packet from one of the company’s specialty divisions to go over before he hands it to you -- Miss Wicked Bitch of Best -- he wonders if it would kill you to say thank you when he opened the door, or maybe look at him when he talks. Bucky doesn’t even know what color your eyes are because he doesn’t think you’ve ever actually looked him in the eyes before. 

And sure you take him to all the fancy business galas and parties and soirees and events and fundraisers, but you always maintain this formal professional wall. Even late nights at the office when it’s literally you, him, and a couple janitors (hell, you’ve both even slept at the office before) you still remain aloof and unapproachable. It’s not like he wants to get to know you, because honestly you seem like a pretty lonely sad bitter person anyway, but it’s downright unnatural how little anyone seems to know about you. Even when he wades through his high school memories, all he can remember about you is vaguely labeling you an asshole. Which really doesn’t help your case. 

But if Bucky knows anything, it’s that no one is an unfeeling robot. 

Even if they pretend to be, even if they believe themselves to be, there is always something down there. At the bottom of a soul there is always a nugget of brilliance. Bucky knows you’re not oblivious to what people say about you, but he wonders whether you just don’t care or you’ve crafted it that way to wield as a tool. He’s not sure which one is worse. Either way he thinks that you could handle things a bit more considerately and still have the respect you deserve. Because if there is one thing Bucky has to admire, it’s your resilience and unyielding desire to see things through. Your dedication to the company and all the good it brings is your one redeeming quality. You also have never done under the table deals or slipped into black market territory, its one of the reasons Bucky hasn’t quit. This company is clean and good and successful. Which is saying a lot in this economy. You also never under pay or over pay your employees, and you’re brutal but you’re fair. 

And as Bucky’s thoughts circle back to stifling aggravation as he watches you type away unfussed and unpleasant as ever at your elevated desk, he goes to curl his hair behind his ear, per habit, to shake himself free of his thoughts, but realizes quite abruptly that he can’t. You had asked (well more like threatened and demanded) him to cut his long hair, claiming it ‘ruined the aesthetic and feel that this company represents’ and finds his aggravation churning into poorly bottled fury. Other people in your employment had long hair, I mean you didn’t really uphold any restrictions on hair, hats, head-dresses, or any type of clothing as long as you were put together. So it literally made no sense that Bucky was singled out. 

Little did he know you asked him to cut it because those dark luscious locks were distracting as hell and made him too handsome for you to be able to rationally handle. I mean you were around him practically 24 hours a day, bless your soul. You know it was a horrible play on power, and probably earned you a one-way ticket to hell, but you’d rather come off posturing and domineering than love sick or undisciplined. I mean he was just as good looking with it cut short, but you told yourself the short hair made it easier to ignore him as a man and see him only as your assistant. 

But much to your chagrin it really, really didn’t help.

“Barnes close out the rest of this meeting. Summarize it to me in detail on the way to the fundraiser.” You bark after you politely dismissed yourself from the Skype call with Tony Stark, the call on mute as you stand from your chair and crisply motion for Barnes to replace you.

Bucky grits his teeth and nods when you brush past him, trying not to let the fact that you assumed (as you always did) he��d be attending the fundraiser with you tonight and left him to clean up after you with the meeting pleasantries, anger him to the point of hysteria. He wasn’t your maid for Christ's sake, and just because he wouldn’t miss the fundraiser because of the opportunity to meet clients and business partners, why the hell did you always hitch him to your wagon for the evening?  

You exit the conference room with a blooming confidence and a rare small smile the second you’re in a private enough area to let the expression soften your face. The itch to go back in there and make sure everything finished okay spreads under your skin like a rash but you breathe and stay rigid with yourself, knowing that in order to properly groom Barnes for your job one day, you had to learn to delegate to him more than you used to. And closing out a deal, especially with one as important as Stark Industries, was major. Barnes is more than capable though, and a small part of you is...proud of him. 

You’re not sure when this nugget of utter blind faith in him started to become something much more complicated than trust in an employee, and developed into something dangerous. Dangerous like awe and adoration dangerous. Dangerous like fond dangerous. Dangerous like love dangerous.

The long clean leather seat of the limo separates you two. 

You give Barnes your (mostly) undivided attention as he dutifully regales the deal closure with Stark this afternoon. You’re scrolling through your email, then your calendar, then your messages trying to avoid looking up at Barnes. The second you spotted him in one of his gala tuxes, it’s your favorite one of his actually since he rotates through them (I mean you don’t expect him to buy a new one for every event, you’re not that unreasonable), you knew it would be a long goddamn night. The subtle navy shine of the tux catches in the corner of your eye under the dimmed lights of the luxury car no matter how hard you stare at your phone screen. 

When he finishes his report you nod your approval knowing that’s all he’s used to getting from you in terms of praise. With a knot of anxiety growing by the second in the back of your throat, making it almost impossible to breathe, you glance up at him from under your lashes. He’s mirroring you across the car, phone out, focus down, and body held with the formality you insisted be constantly upheld between you. 

The first thing your eyes land on is his exposed clavicle where his collarbone frames the base of his neck. In this rare indulged moment of weakness you allow yourself to wonder what the hollow of his neck would taste like, what would it feel like against the texture of your lips. With great effort you drag your eyes away from the tempting oasis of his skin to sprawl along the sleek dark navy of his outer coat. The button up underneath is a stark crisp white, accenting the tan of his skin and drawing your gaze back inevitably to his revealed skin. The first few buttons of the dress shirt are undone and the stiff folded collar is laid open in a roguish carefree type fashion. 

Since the fundraiser is more lowkey and relaxed, you don’t have the excuse to reprimand him for no tie, to demand he cover up that tease of skin and hint of peck muscles. No, you were doomed to suffer because the tailored pants did little to help either. The clean line of the material hugs his thighs, two long strong twin muscles that bunch a bit when he stands or sits down. You cross your legs as something heavy and hot settles in your core, startling you a bit out of the spell Bucky unknowingly put you under. 

A bit desperately you try to find a fault, something to pick apart, some straggling imperfection to prove to yourself that you are uneffected by this man. And you quickly realize you can’t because when you look past his attire, the naked allure of his features takes you by storm. His hair is as rich as ever, styled lightly to allow the slight wave in the coffee locks the freedom to curl away from his forehead and settle in a small wave atop his head. Strong brows stand guard over the softness of his eyes, the glacial blue of the irises protected further by a swath of sooty lashes.The straight nose and full generous mouth sit atop a sturdy chin, a gentle cleft runs down the middle of it adding to his seemingly endless good looks. His jaw as you’ve observed many a time is as sharp and wicked as ever. 

“You didn’t shave.” 

The observation escapes your lips before you could wrangle it back behind the bars of your clenched teeth. Bucky’s eyes jump up at you like you had yelled at him instead of spoken in a normal tone. But its then you realize that it wasn’t a normal tone at all, it was, you...you spoke to him softly --

“Um no.” Bucky answers a bit uncertainly, not sure where you’re taking this. You never comment on his appearance or attire unless it’s to criticize it. He waits inevitably for the verbal lashing.

When the lashing doesn’t come and you both just continue to stare at each other in throbbing silence, Bucky feels awkwardness lay like a heavy blanket over you two. It’s almost startles him when he sees that you’re looking at him. And not just looking at him, but looking him in the eyes. 

“It, It’s just a bit of stubble,” Bucky struggles out, trying to make any kind of sense of the current situation, “I thought since it’s going to be a more, um, relaxed atmosphere I could get away with it. I can go buy a razor and shave it off before we get there if you...want...” 

Bucky mentally kicks himself for offering, I mean how pathetic. But the stumbling words were better than the silence because for some reason the silence felt different then usual, it felt dangerous. 

“No, no,” You eventually say as your brain continues to churn itself into fluffy goo when Bucky shifts his phone and his bicep pushes up protestingly against the smooth sleeve of his tux. “It’s fine.” 

Without another word you lock down the vulnerability you feel leaking onto the canvas of your face and shove your gaze back down to your phone.You will yourself not to blush. 

The rest of the car ride passes in tense silence. It’s the most exposed you’ve felt in a while, to say the least.

The fundraiser has been going like all of them do: clinically well. Bucky expects no less when you’re in attendance though. The dinner wasn’t the best he’s ever had but he made sure not to leave anything on his plate weary of wasting food. You sat perched and cool as ever beside him, engaging in the usual articulate oratory games with the clients and business partners seated at your large table. 

Why Bucky kept expecting you to act different confuses him. He keeps waiting for something to change, for a small tiny hint that something has shifted in you, or maybe between you and him, he doesn’t know. Just something. And when you make him feel like a fool for assuming such a thing by acting the exact same way you always have, Bucky kicks himself. One weird conversation in the limo and he’s hoping for...hoping for what? 

With an internal scoff he tunes back into the conversation, and just in time because you hand the topic reigns to him in that moment and suddenly Bucky is leading everybody into his own oratory arena. 

You take a measured sip from your water glass as Bucky effortlessly accepts the responsibility of the conversation and takes it away. Being able to hold a conversation in a small meeting is one thing, but being able to lead an entire table of sponsors, clients, partners, and whoever else into complex discussion is quite another. You try not to let your pride produce too many butterflies in your stomach as you continue to sip your water and listen to the man beside you prove to you how very deserving he is of what you plan to give to him one day. 

“Ms. Y/l/n,” Bucky says as everyone starts getting up to dance when the live band plays something easy and fun for the guests. You turn towards him slightly in your seat and bring your glass down from your lips as an indication to speak. “May I go say hello to Ms. Romanoff and Mr. Rogers?” 

Your eyes zip over Bucky’s shoulder and land across the reception hall on the table where all your best employees are sitting laughing and enjoying themselves, some of them getting up to dance. For a quick beat you consider keeping Barnes all to yourself but know how selfish and petty that would be. You know Barnes is nearly sick of you. 

“Please,” You relent as kindly and professionally as you can manage, motioning with your glass towards his friends, “Go enjoy.” 

With a quick (if a little bitter) thank you, Barnes blasts away from you to join the merriment across the room. You heard the hint of potent distaste Barnes had having to ask your permission to leave your side and wonder if you’ve let yourself become to much of the monster you thought you had to be in order to be successful. 

And maybe it’s not just to be successful, maybe you donned a monster’s skin to protect yourself. 

You know that if you took away the pretty cool collected skin of that monster, a jagged scared furious soul would be revealed. A sigh and another sip of water is the only outward sign you give that broadcasts your constant inner turmoil. 

“Damn! Wicked Bitch of the Best let you go? Impossible,” Nat croons as Bucky plops into the seat Sam offers him as he hurries out onto the dance floor with a chick from accounting. 

“Ha ha very funny,” Bucky bites back as he relaxes down into the chair while pouring himself a brimming glass of champagne, chugging it all back in one go. 

Steve, sitting on his other side, raises his eyebrow at his friend’s large shot, “I take it business is done for the night.” 

Bucky places the glass flute down carefully on the tablecloth and rolls his lips in as he swallows. 

“Yep,” Bucky breathes, catching his breath a little, “I believe ‘Please, go enjoy’ were her exact words.” He states in heavy sarcasm as he runs a hand through his hair, pouring himself another glass. 

“How generous of her,” Nat allows before standing up and offering her hand down to Bucky, “And now something generous from me.” 

Bucky eyes Nat’s hand suspiciously over the lip of his glass. Natasha was pretty nice (if she felt like it), but she never gave out freebies. He follows the line of her arm up to her severe beautiful face. He squints at the look in her eye. 

“Dance with me,” She says with a roll of her eyes at his well placed suspicion, “It’s a thank you for covering my ass the other day even though I specifically told you not.” Natasha informs in jesting but fond reprimand. 

Bucky smirks at her, appeased, and takes her hand.

“No complaints here then doll.” 

Steve laughs as they zip off to the dance floor.

Watching Bucky with his friends, then dance with Ms. Romano -- with Natasha, that familiar haunting feeling that you know is loneliness begins to seep into your bones and saturate your soul. It’s loneliness that is so thick, so inexorable, you have trouble breathing. Trying not to make your movements too jerky as to call alarm you stand and make your way out of the hall. You’re intercepted a few times, making your final formal goodbyes and thanks, before heading out to the street. 

You call your driver and have him take you back to the company. 

It takes all your self control and dignity to keep from out right running to your floor. When you make it there about a century later, you burst into your moonlit office and shut off all the security cameras in it. That’s when you lose it. 

With harsh tears running down your cheeks and ruining your make up you violently through yourself into your desk chair and start going through files of successful projects. You slowly but surely remind yourself why your doing this, why life has to be so hard. All the good you’re giving to the world is worth something, its worth this loneliness...it is. 

It’s worth it, its worth it, its worth it, its worth it, its worth it...

You repeat this in your head as you continue to review years old projects and partnerships and lives that you have bettered. Though the tears and throat-wracking sobs never stop, you eventually convince yourself it’s enough. 

Bucky was informed first thing this morning by the front desk that the security cameras in Ms. Y/l/n’s office were turned off at about 11:30pm last night and have not been turned back on. Seeing as it’s only you and Bucky who have the codes to do that, Bucky wasn’t too concerned because the other cameras proved it was you who had entered the office last night. Bucky wasn’t quite sure why you felt the need for that much privacy but he shook himself free of the disturbingly instinctual urge to care. 

When he gets to the fogged-glass double doors and pulls on the sleek handles only to realize they’re locked, he hesitates in opening them with his copy of the key. Instead he finds himself knocking. 

“Ms. Y/l/n?” He calls politely, professionally. 

You jerk awake at your desk. Your head pounds with dehydration and the entire right side of your face is stiff and indented with red lines that make up about half of your keyboard. The desktop in front of you is asleep, the large black screen serves as a mirror to reflect to you your less than put together appearance. 

Your make up is a crusting mess, your hair is sticking out every which way, and your eyes are about as puffy and red as Rudolph's nose. 

“Ms. Y/l/n? Are you, are you alright?” 

At the sound of Barnes’ voice on the otherside of the office doors, a horrible twisting flare of panic lights up in your gut. Trying to remain calm, you stand up only to collapse back down into the chair because one of your legs fell asleep. 

“I’m fine Jam -- Barnes, just go do the morning rounds, please.” You stutter as you limp like Gollum (sans your heels from last night) across your pristine office to the private bathroom with a closet you keep extra clothes and things in. 

Bucky is near speechless and knows something is wrong now. You almost called him James for one, and even more disturbing...you said please. He’s unsure if he should leave you in such an obviously confused state of mind, but figures he’d only earn himself a punishment if he intruded or was somehow wrong that you were indeed having a, a moment. 

“I’ll be back in twenty to discuss the profits made last night.” Bucky found himself informing, not sure why he felt the need to give her a time to be ready by. 

What an odd feeling to know that for once, you weren’t thirty steps ahead of him. It’s the first sign of humanity he’s seen you display and it’s tripping him out. 

You listen carefully as his footsteps fade away down the hallway and you throw yourself into getting ready. Twenty minutes later Bucky knocks and you call him in. You can feel him analyzing you, looking around for something out of place, but you made sure to hide any evidence of a disturbance or weakness. 

Bucky finds you pristine and cool and severe as ever, and he realizes that the sinking in his gut is disappointment. Not that he wants to see you struggling, but for a sign you are more than a robot. That you trust him enough to reveal at least that. But you carry on normal and cold and Bucky reminds himself again to stop searching for something that isn’t there. 

“Oh god!” You shriek, you shriek, in surprise as you burst into a storage closet intent on finding an ink cartage (since you had Bucky in a minor meeting with the board, you know power delegation and all, and were more than capable of finding ink on your own dammit), and instead find Steve Rogers and Peggy Carter engaging in some...heavy petting. 

The two of them share your immense shock and separate like oil in water, cheeks, ears, and necks red as roses. They both wait for you to do something, but you continue to stand there like it was you who was walked in on. Slowly you walk across the small room, thanking every god you could think of that the ink cartridges were on the opposite side of the space than Steve and Peggy were standing in, and retrieve your ink with their eyes guiltily following your every move. 

Before you leave you heft a neutral glance over your shoulder and say, 

“Rogers those charts better be in four, and Carter if I don’t have those reports in my inbox by the end of the day I’ll be very displeased.” And with your face safely turned back towards the hallway you say with a little smirk on your face, “Excuse the interruption.”  

You hear the two collapse into hushed horrified laughter muffled behind the door as you strut back to your office with a poorly concealed smile on your face and the urge to giggle bottled up tight in your throat. 

Barnes returns from the meeting with a muted breezy expression on his face which you’ve learned to interpret that meant things went well. You listen to him summarize the meeting for you while pretending to read one of the charts Rogers just sent you on your computer. The memory of finding them in the closet this afternoon hits you hard and you have to cough in order to stop the laugh bubbling along your throat and tickling your tongue. 

Bucky pauses thinking your cough was a sign to stop talking, but when you glance side ways at him and raise an eyebrow he hurriedly continues on. It’s not until you both have settled at your respective desks across the room and Bucky gets up and heads to the printer stationed on a desk against the wall, that things start to head down hill. 

It’s not until you notice him fiddling with the printer making grumbling sounds of obvious annoyance (which you don’t find adorable, you don’t) that you realize belatedly that you still hadn’t put in the new cartridge. Wordlessly you stand, grabbing the ink cartridge off your desk, and head over to the printer. Bucky moves over and watches you take out the empty cartridge and drop it in the waste bin by your feet. And when you take the new one out of its thin box and plastic wrapping, you feel your resistance to the hilarity you went through to get it quickly dissolve. 

You stand frozen staring down at the ink for long enough that Bucky thinks you might not know how to put it in, even if you did just take out the old cartridge. 

“Would you like me to do it?” He offers as neutrally as he can, getting all sorts of weird vibes from the expression that keeps flickering across your down turned face. 

And you break.

It might have been Bucky’s words, or just the ink cartridge sitting oh so innocently in your palm, but it was most likely the vivid memory of walking in on Steve and Peggy. You start laughing. At first it’s under your breath, but the more you try to contain the sound the more out of your grasp it gets. You look up as your laughter gets more confident, brighter, and you find Bucky staring at you like you’ve finally lost it. Maybe you have because you burst into even louder laughter, the noise colorful and easy, falling into snickers when you need to breathe before returning with a cackling vengeance as you push the air back out. 

Bucky doesn’t know whether to be disturbed or entranced. It hits him hard then that he’s never actually seen you laugh, or smile for that matter. And not a business smile but a real one, the one you’re giving him right now. He finds himself smiling to, grinning ear to ear as he watches you collapse into infectious gorgeous laughter. 

“Oh god,” You wheeze as you try to mop up some of the tears from the corners of your eyes, but the words only remind you how you had shrieked them earlier and another peel of giggles wrings themselves out of you. 

Bucky is utterly speechless. He’s in complete awe. The woman standing before him is alive and vibrant and laughing. So this is what he’s been hunting for inside that cruel robot all these years. This is who he’s unconsciously been holding out for. She’s real. She’s here with him finally. 

“What,” Bucky stutters and loses his train of thought as you face him again and he’s left stupefied by the happiness in your face, how beautiful it makes you. I mean you were always beautiful, but in a cruel removed wave. Like you would eat him alive instead of grace him with a smile. 

“It’s nothing,” You attempt to recover through another giggle, “I just intruded on some, some frivolity earlier.” 

Bucky nods not satisfied in the least with just that, not wanting this moment to end. Not wanting this woman to disappear behind a maze of masks to a place he can’t reach. But the inevitable happens and he watches, silently mournful, as the walls come back up and the monster’s skin is pulled back on. With a sniff you efficiently change the cartridge and turn away without another word, your scowl returned to the throne of your lips once more. 

Part 2

And yes it’ll only be two parts...probably. lol. leave a comment in you wanna and your support is always appreciated! I promise to answer all my asks and respond to all my messages soon! xxx

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[consulting-celiac-in-the-tardis]

The Best Grain Free and Paleo Granolas on the Market

New blog post!

No matter how many homemade gluten free granola recipes I come up with, I love being able to reach into my pantry for some store bought granola when life gets busy. Since I'm one of the many people with celiac disease who can’t tolerate even gluten free oats, though, even many gluten free granolas are off limits for me. Grain free and paleo granola to the rescue! In particular, I'm rounding up five grain free and paleo granolas that I've discovered (and consistently devoured) in the four years since my celiac diagnosis. Included are paleo and vegan granola options, refined sugar free granola, chewy granola, crunchy granola and everything in between. The only things these granolas have in common? They’re all grain free (and gluten free, obviously)...and they’re all crazy delicious.

So whether you follow a paleo diet, have celiac disease and can’t eat oats or just love yummy food, keep reading to discover my top five favorite store-bought grain free granolas. 

1. Bee Free’s Warrior Mix

These paleo granolas aren’t ordered by any kind of ranking; however, I thought it’d be only fitting to mention the newest-granola-to-me first: Bee Free’s Warrior Mix. Made with ingredients like almonds, seeds and honey, all the Warrior Mix flavors are intended to be “clean fuel” that tastes like dessert. Bee Free was kind enough to send me a bag of every flavor, which range from Original to Apple Pie to Spicy Chocolate, in return for an honest review (<--- yay full disclosure, as usual!). Considering that I've been munching down on this gluten free granola every night for two weeks straight, I can attest that the Warrior Mix is addictively good!

If you like soft, clumpy granola with a little bit of crunch, Bee Free’s Warrior Mix is your snacking soul mate. I’ve been mainly digging into the Original flavor so far, and I love that it’s sweet without tasting sugary and mixes small and medium chunks of nuts and seeds for a variety of textures. The Warrior Mix is the perfect crumbly topping for yogurt or smoothies, but I’ve also been eating it straight out of the bag (often with banana and nut butter) for a quick snack. 

2. Grandy Oats’ Coconola

Craving a bowl of gluten free granola with an even bigger crunch factor than The Warrior Mix? Then get ready to drool over Grandy Oats’ paleo granola, Coconola, which replaces oats with crispy coconut flakes.  

Out of their three varieties (Original, Chocolate Chunk and Super Hemp Blend), the latter two are vegan as well as grain free. Coconola is sweeter than other varieties of paleo granola I’ve tried, but that’s more of an observation than a complaint. As I’ve shared in previous blog posts, Coconola is super crunchy, which makes it the optimal topping for kitchen experiments like superfood banana coins or yogurt bowls. As an added bonus, when you get to the bottom of the bag and have already devoured all the crunchy granola clumps, I swear that the crumbs taste like some magical combination of cinnamon sugar and sprinkles!

3. Whole Me

I have Instagram to thank for stumbling upon this third paleo granola brand, which just happens to be made in Minneapolis (very near where I’m living for grad school). Whole Me is packed with wholesome ingredients like fruit, coconut, nuts and seeds. Similar to The Warrior Mix, Whole Me has a softer texture and is made of whole foods like nuts, seeds, fruit and coconut. 

Whole Me's paleo granola is unique, however, in how compactly all the ingredients pressed together. As a result, Whole Me's gluten free granola actually consists of granola squares that almost look like paleo granola bars, except they crumble easily. My favorite flavor of theirs is definitely Cinnamon Banana Chip, though Lemon Berry Chia is a very close second.  

4. Julie's Real

This is another paleo granola I discovered through the magic of Instagram (follow me and watch my InstaStories for lots of behind-the-(blog)-scenes product finds and reviews). Since winning some mini packs of this gluten free granola from Julie’s Real a few weeks ago, this granola has become one of my favorite sweet snacks to take with me during busy days of class. 

I’ll say one thing straight up: compared to other clumpy and cluster-filled paleo granolas I’ve tried, Julie’s Real’s versions are looser and more like trail mix...but it’s dang delicious trail mix, if you want to call it that. So far, I’ve tried Cinnamon Vanilla Bean and Cacao Coconut. I love that, unlike with some chocolate treats, the cacao in the latter flavor isn’t overwhelming. If you’re an almond lover, you’ll also enjoy the big chunks of crunchy almonds littered throughout both varieties. 

5. Wild Way

The last paleo granola I’ve tried and loved is actually one that I discovered while visiting family in Texas a few years ago. Thanks to the gloriousness of Amazon, though, Wildway’s paleo granola is now available throughout the US (and I’ve also started seeing it popping up in non-Texas-located Whole Foods). 

Wildway’s paleo granola is different first of all because it’s a grain free, vegan and refined sugar free granola. I promise, though, that this granola tastes so good, you won’t even miss the sweetener. I also love Wildway because it’s the chewiest gluten free granola I’ve ever tasted, and those bites with nuggets of fruit, coconut and nuts are totally moan-worthy. Anyone who says you can’t have dessert - or a killer sweet snack - while also ditching grains and refined sugar obviously hasn’t tried Wildway’s paleo granola...and is definitely missing out. 

The Bottom Line

If I had to name one food I couldn’t live without, grain free and paleo granola would be high on the list. It can be crunchy or chewy (or something in between), made without dairy or eggs or even refined sugar...and (most importantly, of course!) it tastes delicious on just about everything. (And trust me - I've tried putting granola on a lot of things.) When you have the extra time and energy, baking up your own batch of homemade gluten free granola is definitely a worthy venture. But when you need a paleo snack or a delicious gluten free dessert ASAP, any of these grain free and paleo granolas would be a tasty choice. Just don't ask me which brand I consider my number one favorite...though I wouldn't mind taste-testing all of the above for the rest of my life to find out!

Like this post? Tweet me some love by clicking here: "Follow a #paleo diet, need to eat #glutenfree for #celiac or just love yummy food? Today, I'm sharing my top 5 #grainfree store-bought granolas. #Healthy and #allergyfriendly snacking has never been easier! http://bit.ly/2GCHhbi"

*This post is not sponsored, although I did receive Bee Free's The Warrior Mix for free in return for an honest review. However, I honestly adore and already do or would purchase all of these granolas regularly. All opinions and photographs are my own, and I hope this list helps others with celiac disease who can't eat oats or people who avoid grains learn of some new brands to consider trying!* Do you like your granola chewy or crunchy? Have you tried any of these brands before - or do you know of another grain free/paleo granola I need to add to my culinary bucketlist? Tell me in the comments!

via Blogger https://ift.tt/2pOC0Tj

[abiteofnat]

OUT IN THE WILD, WILD WEST LOOP...

THERE’S A LOT OF GOLD TO BE FOUND. In the form of pizza, pasta, tacos, booze, and everything good that’s bad for you. The Randolph Street area west of the highway that runs next to Chicago is becoming ~the~ place for dinner plans and Friday night dates as it’s being transformed from warehouse valley to an up-and-coming Broadway of food, which is great news for the whole city. 

While I’m fairly certain not even the most extreme foodie has been able to eat at every single place in Chicago, it’s easy to find your favorites and settle into choosing from them versus really exploring a new section of the city. West Randolph has created a whole new division of restaurants and bars to float around and honestly they’re all hits; no where on this street is a flop and it’s such an aesthetically pretty area to be day or night. There’s the view of the entire skyline on one side, and then old, gorgeous brick building refurbished and repainted lining both sides of the street. Since this used to be a heavy factory/ storage area, there are still a lot of untouched lots which adds an old-Chicago vibe that O’Leary’s cow could probably fit right into, but with all the patios and twinkly lights spilling onto the sidewalks the restaurants really nailed the shabby-chic look. 

Over the past eight months or so I’ve eaten my way through Randolph Street because every restaurant looks better than the last, and I can honestly say I love nothing more than dressing up a little and getting an early dinner somewhere new and cute to sit in for hours, and if I’m with my best friends or my family?!? OVER THE MOON. A good 6 p.m. dinner followed by wandering around the city in search of a night cap or a verrryyyy chocolaty dessert? PAST THE MOON AND TO JUPITER. My life philosophy is that the best moments are spent around food and loved ones, and that happiness really is that simple... which is why every weekend I go home to my family where we all love to eat out in Evanston and then get ice cream anywhere because we don’t keep treats in the house (since we all entirely lack self control) and dessert is a nightly “congrats” for getting through the day. But sometimes they want to come into the city and that’s when it’s my turn to find the top-notch noshes! 

Should you need a date night idea or somewhere to bring your best friend/family for a birthday dinner, here are some golden nuggets along West Randy. 

1. Formento’s 

I came across Formento’s on Instagram one million times before ever making it there as they are one of the restaurants that caught onto the “cacio e pepe” pasta trend before the rest of the city did, and the boomerangs of a soft egg yolk breaking over thick, peppery noodles haunted my dreams for weeks. When my girl Luzi asked where we wanted to get dinner one night over the summer when it was a perfect, breezy evening I didn’t even hesitate to suggest Formento’s- with a beautiful and lush patio and a menu packed with drool-worthy food, and she was like “Yes, duh”, so off we went! The waiter was a quirky gal full of suggestions and more than willing to walk us through the menu which is somewhat tapas style and an “encouraged to share” type thing, which always makes me a little anxious but all my brain could think was “cacio e pepe cacio e pepe cacio e pepe” so somehow along the way we also ordered olives and a kale salad but I barely remember those. The olives were marinated and served slightly warm, and they brought us bread thick with rosemary and garlic and wowie it was good enough to be a meal on it’s own. I would love to go back and try the burrata and the lump crab toast, but this place is more of a treat-yourself night out place than a drop in for a casual $50 dinner place so I’m biding my time for an event to celebrate there! 

The pasta finally arrived after we had to move inside post surprise thunderstorm, and in the glow of candles and dim, sexytime lighting I met my love. A perfect swirl of al dente bucatini tossed in a light cream & cheese sauce spotted with freshly cracked pepper, and then an egg yolk perfectly contained and sitting on top like a fucking queen was almost too much to handle. I cracked the yolk and damn, this was one of those moments I wish my eyeballs had a camera built in because I was too engrossed in it to capture it on video. 

This pasta was exactly as good as I wanted it to be and how Instagram made it look, and we all know Instagram is a catfish playground and with all the fuckin gross food going viral because of it you can never quite trust it... but this was good, tried & true. I’m thinking graduation round 2 dinner might be here in the spring... hmmmm.

Oh and the wine menu is dope as well, any nice red would pair well with the spicy + flavorful appetizers and the freshness of the pasta selection. 

2. De Cero (slash) Hello Tacos! 

Ok so the name of this restaurant still confuses me as it used to be De Cero and then they changed it to Hello Tacos! but both show up if you Google it... I promise it’s the same place. This was sooo the shocker of my summer because I was taken against my will to get tacos with my family after a nine hour bus ride from Nashville back to Chicago, and I wanted to shower and curl up in a clean, controlled environment for like five hours before entering the world again but the parents were hungry. And they were kind enough to drive downtown to pick me up, so to turn down a nice dinner out would have just been rude and extremely stupid. So off we went in search of something tasty and my dad suggested De Cero, which we walked into and instantly fell in love with. Even though I smelled like an actual dumpster (the Megabus is not a glamorous way of transit, but I love it) I was instantly coated by the scent of fresh tortilla chips, smoky spices, and freshly sliced lime. We sat down in a cozy wooden booth under a wall of beautiful quilts and were immediately offered a drink (their flavored margaritas are DELICIOUS) and told to pick 3 (!!!) salsas from their list of options. As someone who believes in coating everything I eat in like sixteen sauces, getting to pick three salsas and receiving huge bowls of them was absolute heaven.  We got the Warm Chipotle which is for sure my favorite, imagine just a heavy, garlicky red salsa that’s delightfully toasty, the Tomatillo Lime Verde, and the Pico de Gallo. Later when I came back with a friend (legitimately one week later), I changed out the Pico for the Mango Habanero and it was incredible. I hate mango with every inch of my body, but in the way they marinated and treated the salsa it looses the tropical zing and is just really moist and sweet. All of these salsas? BOMB.COM. Exceptionally flavorful, and more than enough to bring home with you after. 

For dinner, my dad and I got the Grilled Mahi Mahi tacos and HOLY GUACAMOLE THEY WERE FAB. The most succulent, meaty fish fillets dripping with marinate and then topped with an asparagus compote and then doused in avocado puree, all in a corn tortilla that can barely support the weight. These tacos were some of the best fish tacos I’ve ever had, and when I went back with my friend I tested my “was it good or was I starving” test by getting the exact same thing, and loved them all over again. Go check this place out, it’s cozy and adorable and offers epic Mexican cuisine!! 

3. Bar Siena 

This might be my favorite spot on the street so far, but it also has the most options and isn’t too crazily priced so that could be a big factor! Bar Siena sits on a corner a little further down Randolph and is the perfect mix of upscale-bar and classy Italian, with a giant light-up tree in the middle growing up through the second floor that offers scenic seating of the skyline and the rest of Randy. With a menu bursting with wood fired pizza, pasta, antipasta, cheeses, and OF COURSE some fancy as heck cocktails, it’s really really really hard to decide what you want for dinner. Yet, because I’m me, both times I’ve been there I’ve ordered the same entree. Some highlights on the menu (a mix of mine and those I’ve dined with who eat meat) include: 

- Roasted Meatballs: IF I COULD EAT THESE, I WOULD. They come in a little dish of sauces, cheese, and with garlic bread on the side. Oh hellll yes. 

- Burrata: This is the best burrata I’ve ever had. On crispy toast with thick, creamy burrata and apricot jam, topped with sea salt and some crunchy nuts, it’s a 10/10 combo. Get it.

- Kale & Granny Smith Salad: It’s a good, simple salad that’s light and refreshing with so much hearty food. 

- The Prosciutto-Fig Pizza: IF I WAS A PIZZA, THIS WOULD BE ME. Even without the meat the spiced pistachio, truffle honey, and cheese on top of a perfectly baked white pizza is indulgently delicious. If I ever became a stripper, my name would be Truffle Honey in honor of this pizza. 

- Wild Mushroom & Garlic Pizza: Lots of mushrooms, lots of cream and cheese, very good. 

- SWEET CORN RAVIOLI: THIS IS IT. THIS IS THE PASTA OF MY DREAMS. CORN RAV STUFFED WITH MORE CORN, SAUCE, TRUFFLE BUTTER, MUSHROOMS, AND GOD’S LOVE. 

AND THE WINE LIST IS GREAT TOO. 

Y’all don’t skimp on dessert either; Bar Siena is attached to Bombo Bar, the small coffee shop and donut seller on the side with a walk-up window. They have the famed hot chocolate and matcha topped with a coordinating donut, biscotti or cookie, whipped cream, and sprinkles and toppings out the wazoo. They are absolutely crazy but soooo delicious and the hot coco is perfect for a cold winter day when you just want to get out of the house for a small adventure! 

Some other hits along this strip are Soho House, Kaiser Tiger, and Maude’s. Soho House is an ~elite~ club that’s in an ancient, elegant building tucked off on a side street that has a cafe and breakfast nook on the first floor which offers delicious coffee and perfect vibes for writing, reading, and girl’s talk on a rainy afternoon. Kaiser Tiger is a warehouse turned bar that’s open, loud, inviting, and has a unique menu of bratwurst and cheese plates. It’s great for a drink or to grab a nicer bite before heading to the United Center for a game! And Maude’s is somewhere that’s on my wish list- I am DYING to go get a drink in this blue & white dream! The outside is cute as a button and I imagine the inside is even better. I love having places I can’t wait to try out, it keeps this city so fresh! 

Until next time, Happy Eating!

-Natalie 

[jerrisdiction]

SeoulSearching: Chapter 01

Long story short, the perfectionist in me considered this trip a complete failure. But I'll accept that with gratitude- after all, there's a first time for everything.

One of these "first times" was using automated check-in, which did not work for us anyway, since there were other procedures we were to complete in person. Nonetheless, the staff were all relaxed and helpful.

And yes, more surprisingly, it was the first time we used McDonald's automated ordering kiosks to order light supper, for the counters were closed that night.

I've had better spicy nuggets than these.

Another 'first': being on a late night flight, which we all regretted. Even Mum, who's usually a heavy sleeper, complained of being sleep deprived. As for me, it goes without saying that I disembarked in the morning half-disoriented.

I did look forward to witnessing the sunrise on the plane though. It wasn't crisp clear, and I couldn't take a shot of the crimson horizon from my seat. But a beautiful 5am view, it was.

In-flight meals were served shortly before 7am, but I suppose most of us were just tired and indifferent towards the food by then. The three of us opted for stir fried noodles with fried fish fillet, which surprised me a little as I thought Dad would prefer having porridge. Then again, Korean style porridge is likely very different from what we're used to.

｡･:*:･ﾟ

Upon arrival, Dad was amused that the immigration there, like Taiwan, used index fingerprints instead of thumbprints. I couldn't care less, so long the process was smooth. It did take slightly shorter than clearing the Taiwanese customs.

The next step was to purchase our T-money cards - also the first time I spoke Korean to a local there. As expected, it failed quite miserably. My mind already went blank when the GS25 staff told us that they did not sell normal 2,500won T-money cards. Thank goodness another staff came in and intercepted the awkwardness with some English.

Along the way I learnt that it's okay to speak a little bit of simple English. In fact, much better than struggling to be understood in Korean, only in vain. Fast forward to our arrival at Hongdae, where we deposited our luggage with Safex, their staff was pretty relaxed with conversing in English. (I think it's me who needs to relax LOL.)

Hongdae was a place with inexplicably good vibes that afternoon, even though most recommend going in the evening. We settled at a random restaurant, and it turned out to be our favourite meal in the entire trip. Each of us got this huge portion of bibimbap at just 6,500won.

At this point I probably figured out the distinction between traditional bibimbap and the more 'modern' ones like this. Traditional vegetable toppings typically include mushrooms, carrots, spinach, soybean sprouts, and cucumbers. But I don't recall much of those in this bowl- instead, alfafa sprouts, chopped yellow radish and cabbage were among the highlights. Making a wild guess right here that these modern variations are more widely seen in areas like Hongdae to appeal to youths and tourists. Not saying that traditional bibimbap tastes worse, but it had become a tad boring for our family overtime.

We later ventured down the smaller streets of Hongdae, passing by several stores and cafés- each with their own character. I recall being in awe with one of the many accessory stores; its rustic industrial design was well complemented with its scent, probably from a diffuser. Almost felt like stepping into an unfamiliar realm, even though earrings were its highlight.

We also visited Market A, but somehow none of us had a thing for their pieces. They just felt like elegant vibes I couldn't carry. Mum also commented that their pieces are mostly in 'plain' colours. Yes, precisely that- there isn't really a colour the locals can't manage, given their fair skin. In subsequent days, I also observed that they mostly wore such neutral, muted colours to work, especially black and cream.

Meanwhile, Dad had been sitting outside the store, coughing non-stop still. He was obviously displeased with all the walking, and the lack of sleep was taking a toll on him. Surprisingly though, he suggested to find a café nearby to recharge (he was never the type to visit cafés). So we gradually tried to find our way out.

The parents were doubtful when I started going underneath one of the bridges, but wow it turned out to be a really nice spot with shade. 책거리, or what I'd interpret as "Book Street" is such an apt name for a path leading students from the subway station exits towards the university. The afternoon breeze blowing under the bridge also came refreshing after a long walk in the sun. And witnessing some elderly folks reading together in the shade simply completed the picture.

Hongdae is, indeed, definitely more than its nightclubs, restaurants and fashion trends.

Thanks stranger for making this picture even more perfect. Really love the lines and warm vibes in this shot.

That street also had me noticing all the gorgeous flowers Seoul had to offer. I don't have good shots of them up close, for they were better admired in abundance.

Lots of white daisies in this city... I guess the more you avoid something, the more often you see them.

｡･:*:･ﾟ

This café (located in a mall near Exit 4) caught our attention so after some mindless shopping there, we picked a few items for afternoon coffee.

Their coffee (forgot which one Mum ordered for us) wasn't really something I'd fancy. It was our first time trying an beurre - seemingly just bread with cream and red bean filling but, of course, more sophisticated.

I picked up a chocolate financier as well, for I hadn't had one in years. Dad did not think much of it, but I never expected a financier to be the highlight anyway. But it's decently rich (damn, is this a pun HAHA) for me.

｡･:*:･ﾟ

Little did we know that the real challenge was to come after we collected our luggage and headed to Seoul Station. Mum suggested visiting Lotte Mart before checking into our apartment, but it was a really long walk from the airport line. Hell, if the walk within Dhoby Ghaut station was already a chore, I bet this was way, way worse especially with us lugging our baggage around.

By this time, Dad was having the runs and displaying more discomfort, so he decided to rest outside Lotte Mart, giving us 30 minutes to shop. I'd thought this was a great place with variety, for I'd always liked shopping in supermarkets but... The crowd, the tourists, even the promoters enthusiastically drawing customers in with Mandarin were quite a turn-off for me. It really just felt like a place for tourists to sweep all those goodies away last minute before they head home. And seeing Mum almost turn into a child in a candy store got me thinking, this is a bad sign.

When we finally got out of Lotte Mart, somehow Kakao Map failed us and could not point us in a direction that seemed right. Some bickering and struggling later, we decided to lug all that baggage underground once again back to the airport line to find the other station exit, since the subway was our only hope with more visible signs.

And after what seemed like endless walking, we reached our apartment in sheer exhaustion.

｡･:*:･ﾟ

By the time we recharged ourselves enough to go out for dinner, it was yet another challenge to decide what to eat. There were several (probably family owned) restaurants near the estate, but after passing by the lots of them, we headed back to Lotte Mart - this time via a shorter route we'd found.

Lotte Mart isn't so bad after all, for there were a few stalls that sold really affordable and filling meals. We ordered one set of steamed dumplings and 2 sets of kimbap for 13,000won, and though that wasn't way too filling, at least we were able to finish it all - Dad didn't like the tuna kimbap while I didn't like the tonkatsu kimbap so we swapped LOL. Somehow the dumplings were the highlight for me, not sure if it was the filling or the soy sauce.

On our way back, we hopped into a minimart and bought some bread for breakfast the next day (though later on I ate none of it). Oh, and out of curiosity Mum and I tried a spicy vegetable kebab thingy, it kind of set my tongue on fire but felt super shiok (much better than Spicy McNuggets, huh).

Back at the apartment, the duo started generating more complaints of our humble home for the next 4 days. Again, I was the one to blame (who else?), but that didn't bother me much for we were all scrambling to catch up on sleep that night.

[news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog]

35 things to inspire you during your 2019 self-love sessions

May is National Masturbation Month, and we're celebrating with Feeling Yourself, a series exploring the finer points of self-pleasure.

So far, 2019 hasn't been a particularly sexy year.

When you think about, we've all had to watch a lot of straight-up nonsense go down. Green Book won the Oscar for Best Picture, Jeff Bezos' "sexts" leaked, and Sonic the Hedgehog got a full set of human teeth, for goodness sake. Gross!

A bunch of this year's pop culture moments have been genuinely disappointing, but we're not going to let that harsh our self-love vibes. From sexy fashion statements and television characters, to memes and music, 2019 has definitely given us some glorious moments worthy of recalling during the act of self-pleasure.

If you find yourself in need of some masturbation inspiration, here are 35 ~very 2019~ things to think about.

1. Chris Evans' teal velvet pants: Christopher Robert Evans had the absolute audacity to show up to an Avengers: Endgame press event in April wearing teal velvet pants. The trousers looked as though they were hand-crafted by an angelic seamstresses in the clouds and came with the equally stunning teal velvet suit jacket Evans wore to the Oscars earlier this year. We're all blessed that his stylist, Ilaria Urbinati, firmly believes you should "never let a great pair of trousers go to waste."

Chris Evans inventing pants.

Image: ALBERTO E. RODRIGUEZ/GETTY IMAGES FOR DISNEY

2. America's ass: While we're on the topic of Chris Evans' pants, let's get another inevitable Chris-related 2019 thirst trap out of the way. Feel free to think of the real star of Avengers: Endgame — America's ass — whenever you need a dose of dayummmm. 🇺🇸🍑

3. "Old Town Road": There are many subject-appropriate songs out there to get off to, but if you're looking to switch things up a bit, consider listening to the 2019 anthems, "Old Town Road" and the remix, for inspiration.

4. The possibility of eliminating student debt: This year, Elizabeth Warren announced her plans to cancel student debt and eliminate college tuition for future students, and honestly? Just the thought of having your ridiculously high student debt forgiven is *tingles* exciting. 

5. The new Staples logo: People got seriously amped when that little staple unfolded. So... strong.

SEE ALSO: 7 ridiculously large sex toys to help you go big in the bedroom

6. The Jonas Brothers reunion AND the introduction of the Jonas Sisters: One of the world's most popular boy bands — a band of literal biological brothers — reunited in 2019, and that alone is reason enough for everyone to be "Burnin' Up." But with the reunion also came the introduction of the fierce female trio, the Jonas Sisters (aka Sophie Turner, Priyanka Chopra, and Danielle Jonas). 🔥

7. The black hole: The world saw the first recorded image of a black hole in 2019, and I guess it's kind of hot, right? It is described as "supermassive," so. Hey. 

8. The possible return of Wendy's Spicy Chicken Nuggets: Can you think of a thought spicer than imagining the possible return of Wendy's Spicy Chicken Nuggets? There aren't many. 

9. The thought of the L train being functional: Governor Andrew Cuomo is confident that limiting service of the extraordinarily popular L train for a year will be in the city's best interest, but in the mean time New Yorkers are living a fresh new subway hell. Stay strong, people. And if necessary, after a long-ass day of commuting, feel free to envision a beautiful, fully functioning L train in the sack.

10. Jauz's "Baby Shark" remix: I think the Coachella track really speaks for itself doo doo doo doo doo doo.

11. KFC's hot new Colonel Sanders: KFC isn't simply in the business of making people hungry for chicken anymore. Now they're interested in making people thirst for their hot new Colonel Sanders. (It's working?)

12. The thought of sexting with a robot: Mashable Staff Writer Jess Joho sexted with a bot, and you can too. Turns out it's surprisingly hot.

13. The Night King: Listen, he wasn't very nice. He's also dead now. But in his glory days the Night King could get it.

14. The Hulk's junk: Ever wonder if the Hulk can have sex? There's a lot to unpack. Consider doing so next time you get down with yourself, because, why not?

15. David's dance on Schitt's Creek: David and Patrick's relationship is one of the best on television, and while David's dance to Tina Turner's "The Best" is sweet enough to make you ugly cry, it's also sexy as hell and impossible to watch without getting chills. (The same argument can be made for the scene where Patrick sings "The Best" to David.)

16. Literally any moment from the 2 hours and 17 minutes of Beyoncé's Homecoming: The performance is the definition of flawless and we are barely worthy of such brilliance.

17. The Burn This poster: The poster for the Broadway revival of Lanford Wilson's Burn This is haaaaawt. It features Adam Driver and Keri Russell lookin' gorg, just chillin' horizontal on a couch all dreamy and idyllic and shit. See for yourself.

18. This sand art replica of Dwayne Johnson's face: You might not initially think a video of Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson's head being assembled from sand is the stuff to inspire hot thoughts, which is understandable, but if you never try you'll never know, right?

19. Bowsette: The fan-created character that mashes Bowser and Princess Peach together was dismissed by Nintendo this year, but that doesn't stop people from lusting over NSFW Bowsette art online.

20. This extremely long dongle: Major BDE (Big Dongle Energy) coming from this one. Who can ignore?

This is one long dongle #io19 pic.twitter.com/OtNf1fsdDK

— Raymond Wong📱💾📼 (@raywongy) May 7, 2019

21. The moment Captain America wielded Thor's hammer: Yes, we've already gave a nod to Chris Evans/Captain America twice on this list, but how could we not acknowledge the ⚡electric⚡ moment Cap summoned Mjolnir? A real shock to the heart.

22. 500 Intel drones performing a choreographed light show set to Phish: Get jammin', folks.

23. Golf balls cut in half: These artsy halved golf balls with tantalizingly scrumptious interiors are forbidden snacks, but we can still drool.

24. Demon Beto O'Rourke: When the skateboarding, burger-loving, Beyoncé-endorsed musician Beto O'Rourke ran for Texas Senator against Ted Cruz, he was one of the most crush-worthy men on the planet. Now, O'Rourke is running for president, though, and the American people can't afford to let their thirst distract them from focusing on policy issues. Rather than thinking of Beto to get yourself all hot and bothered consider, focusing on this comedian's parody version, Demon Beto.

25. Animations of a baguette on the move: We are not suggesting you think about just any old loaf of bread while masturbating. Animated baguettes are special.

26. Villanelle and Eve: The relationship between the two Killing Eve characters may be complicated, but their chemistry is clear as day. Scenes like this are simply too intense to just watch.

27. Crocs and shaving cream: In case you haven't seen, putting large dollops of shaving cream in Crocs and then inserting feet forces the shaving cream to escape out of the signature shoe holes. It's quite the satisfying sight.

28. Basically every Met Gala outfit: The 2019 Met Gala theme was "Camp" — inspired by Susan Sontag's 1964 essay — and everyone's outfits were S T U N N I N G. Here is a list of some greats. 

29. The Rihanna birthday outfit challenge: Everyone knows Rihanna slays the Met Gala when she attends, but since the singer didn't make it this year we have to get our fix another way. Try searching "Rihanna" and your birthday on Google and see one of her iconic outfits will appear. You're welcome.

30. Balenciaga Crocs: Speaking of Crocs and the Met... I like those Balenciagas. The ones that look like Crocs. 😏

of course the balenciaga crocs are here pic.twitter.com/34ZWXYXAKD

— rachel syme (@rachsyme) May 6, 2019

31. Jake Gyllenhaal in Spider-Man Far From Home trailer: HeLLO, Mysterio. We see that beard and shaggy Jim Halpert hair, boy.

32. What if we kissed memes: A perfect meme for those who want to imagine kissing people in super bizarre places — like near a high voltage box — but are in need of inspiration.

33. The gray streak in Richard Madden's hair: 50 strands of gray = bae.

34. The Senate Intelligence Committee subpoenaing Donald Trump Jr. to testify over the Russia Investigation: Perhaps some people will take pleasure from imagining Trump's son testifying in hopes it will shed some light on this long, national, election hacking nightmare. IDK! 

35. Samsung's foldable phone: The wide, glossy screen folds in half for goodness sake. 

Digital hot dog bun.

Image: RAYMOND WONG / MASHABLE

Have fun, everyone!

WATCH: Gaga and Bradley set the meme-osphere and our loins ablaze this week with their Oscar's performance — All the Memes

[famehunting]

72 hours

So here’s the gist of what happened in the last couple of days, because I haven’t been able to do one of these in a while:

Paul Manafort, a long-time confidant of Lord Dampnut and one-time campaign manager (who worked for free??) got outed by an excellent, well-researched AP news article as taking $10 million annually from a Russian oligarch and friend of Putin to promote Russian interests politically and publically within the US. This started in 2005-2006, and we don’t know when this arrangement ended or even if it did. He did this without registering as a foreign agent, which you might remember being A Thing with Michael Flynn.

in 2006, he also moved into Trump Tower and became real good friends with the owner. And if you remember Spicy yammering something about how he was a minor volunteer to the campaign, remember he was the FUCKING CAMPAIGN MANAGER for several months, and even after his tenure WAS AND IS STILL FUCKING LIVING IN THAT TOWER. Oh and he just hired a crisis consultant team because he seems to think the worst that’s coming for him is some PR badness, despite the fact that failed Russian operatives are dropping like flies rn.

okay.

So, that put a beehive up the House intel committee’s ass, who had just had their public hearing the day before, where Comey just dropped his balls on the table in front of Schiff (D, successfully prosecuted a Russian intrusion as a lawyer ages ago) and Nunes (R and also a campaign hire with some amazing conflict of interest here) and said ‘yeah, so, there is actually an investigation of 45′s vodka-scented tracksuit wearing quisling campaign going on.’

so that happened. It was pretty cool.

Yesterday, apparently Nunes got some sort of word that was somehow magically both connected to the investigation and also Totes Not Russian Whatsoever, but also made it sound like 45 was in fact being monitored in a way that was totally legal... WHICH IS WHAT HAPPENS WITH A FISA WARRANT MEANT TO CATCH YOUR ASS. He bolted in front of a camera, yammered some absolutely amazing shit that made no sense whatsoever, and literally fucking RAN to the White House to tell his boss bud what was going down, REGARDING HIS OWN INVESTIGATION.

Then he ran out of the WH to talk about it again, sounding even more bizarre, nervous, and confused.

He did this without informing his own committee, who promptly shat bricks. Adam Schiff sent out a public ‘U WOT M8′ letter in perfect legal speak that carefully masked how pissed he is.

The Senate intel committeee shat bricks.

John McCain is building an igloo out of shit bricks, and Rep Cummings and several others are making statements about how Nunes has basically fucking dumpster-fire’d his own intelligence operation.

And then later last night Schiff, who had gone on record over the weekend saying he’d seen things that looked like circumstantial evidence regarding collusion between Dampnut’s team and the Russians decided to slap his own testicles onto the table and said ‘Yeah, it’s not circumstantial anymore.’

And the crowd sucked teeth. We don’t know what he means, but some shit has gone down. The Democrats have suddenly closed ranks and are going to try to filibuster Gorsuch because why the fuck should a president under investigation for collusion and possible treason get to pick a Supreme?

Meanwhile Nunes is still running around like his hair is on fire. He showed up in front of cameras again this morning, a few people have said he privately apologized, and frankly I’m a little concerned for his mental fucking health.

The best theory I have heard regarding his bizarre actions comes from a long-time white/grey hat hacker that’s been monitoring Russian interference who’s called JESTER ACTUAL. In short - if you were, say, FBI Director Comey, and you wanted to know where Nunes’s loyalties laid, you give him a nugget and you watch to see which direction he runs.

He ran to his cronies.

These people are too fucking stupid to last as long as Watergate did.