#Gabriel agreste is the worst

[whimsicallyconfusedforlife]

Because Adrien Agreste just didn’t have enough trauma to deal with, given -

His semi-dead mum is under their house,

His father is the super villian trying to kill him every day and regularly akumatising his good friends,

His step mum has been helping his super villian father for ages in his evil doings,

His father is emotionally abusive,

His father is dying from a cataclysm inflicted albeit accidentally by his son,

His father doesn’t want him happy under his own terms,

His father hates the love of his life.

Let’s add that creepy sentimonster thing and being even more controlling and treated like a possession.. 😳😕 and you know, his creation possibly practically killed his mother and the writers all sympathise with the villian!

[tumblingxelian]

Style Queen's opening has some hilarious angles if you can ignore the horrors & child abuse:

Gabriel: At last, the most evil person I can think of arrives in Paris!

Audrey: Fire him, fuck you for speaking to me, this gift wrapping is ridiculous! You are fired! Chloe: Sorry mom :( Gabriel: She's perfect, she will be my ultimate Akuma!

(Has his staff piss her off at a show where his son is performing)

Style Queen: Tell me where you rat fuck dad, Gabriel is so I can murder him for the disrespect I endured! Adrien: Never! Audrey: Die.

(Turns him into a screaming, slowly disintegrating statue)

Gabriel: Wait! Fuck! No! You weren't meant to do that!

Style Queen: Murder crowd, murder my husband, murder my child- Chloe: I know where Gabriel is & you're too cool to waste time killing me, right!? Style Queen: Sufficient ass kissing & usefulness threshold reached. You get to live. For now.

(Ladybug arrives to battle!)

Ladybug: Don't worry everyone, I got this! Audrey: Or so you thought! Ladybug: Oh no, I don't got this!

(Ladybug is Helpless)

Gabriel: OK, stay calm, I can make this work! I can fix Adrien, then bring back my wife. Chloe: Uh, Style Queen, is Ladybug really worth your valuable time? Style Queen: Hmm...

Gabriel: No! NO! NO! Chloe: Besides, I can show you where Gabriel is! Style Queen: Deal.

Gabriel: NOOOOOOOOOO!

[wisteriasymphony]

"—No no no! You are not putting a price on my son! You are not putting a price on me!"

"Emilie, if you would just curb your emotions for a single second!"

Adrien would never hear anyone in his life scream like this ever again, the cry of a banshee echoing through the halls. He would always remember the lightning to its thunder—the broken furniture, the grabbed arms and slapped faces, how his mother would come to his room for comfort once night fell. Suffocating in her arms. Her screaming took away his breath in much the same way.

"My son, that is my son! You are not his mother, I am his mother! It is I, alone, who will decide what becomes of his life! Nobody else but me!"

"Emilie Genevieve Mary Graham de Vanily, as head of this household it is my God given right to do with this family—"

Her screaming began before his father was even halfway done with his sentence.

"My son! My son!"

Adrien kept his knees tucked in his chest. His hiding space in the back of his closet was his best-kept secret, not a single gasp giving his spot away. His parents were maybe.... eight, nine rooms down the hall, based on how clearly he could hear them shouting. Eight or nine was lucky. Four or less and it would be unbearable to sit through.

[dear-buttercup]

Has anyone noticed Gabriel saying 'perfect' every time he creates a sentimonster and his expectations of Adrien being perfect yet or...

[wield-the-mighty-pen]

What does it say about Gabriel’s parenting that this is Adrien’s reaction to being allowed to make a choice?

[astroarcane]

Miraculous Writers trying to convince me these three ugly bitches who look like they snuck on on earth are redeemable fathers/characters but the girl who was literally just a mean 14 year old with an abusive mother is "irredeemable"...alright.

[ckneal]

While a bit clunky (because Astruc and the writers probably didn’t have a backstory in mind when they first came up with Gorilla’s character, and because the English translation of the show opted to have it stated that everyone is speaking English in-universe despite following a bunch of French people living in France), I do love that Miraculous Ladybug essentially gave us an explanation for why Gorilla never speaks. In season 5, episode 24, Representation, Felix just offhandedly mentions that in addition to the magic jewelry and petty rivalry between his dad and Adrien’s, he also owes his existence to Colt handing over his best “knight” to serve as Adrien's protector in exchange for the use of the peacock miraculous. And just like that a light just goes on: Gorilla doesn’t speak because he’s American. And not one that up and moved to a whole ass new country by choice! No one named names, but Gabriel didn’t leave any wiggle room for Colt to give him someone who already had an interest in relocation. Gabriel demanded the best of the best, and shucks to them! Poor Placide I.T. (aka, Gorilla before little kid Adrien decided to rename him) had his whole life derailed because Emilie wanted to help her sister have a baby, and Gabriel was too petty to do it without getting something in return, and we don’t even know if he spoke a single word of French before being told to pack his bags.

It's so sad, but also kind of funny, because of course he’s probably learned the language over the years since becoming Adrien’s bodyguard. Even if he doesn’t feel confident or feel the need to speak, he can probably understand most of what’s said around him. But then we have characters like Marinette, who have a tendency to frantically vomited out words in sudden gusts that just get more and more rapid and embarrassing with every breath, and we can only assume that while she’s standing there mortified and hurriedly saying one thing and then another, Gorilla is actually just trying to pick out the last word he understood in all the mess.

He's not staring at her because he's rude or because he's judging her. He just can't understand her when she's talking so fast!

[ninadove]

This is the will of the gods.

— The Horse and the Infant, from EPIC: The Troy Saga

[alteanroyals]

the way i have absolutely no expectations for gabriel agreste and yet he manages not to reach them

[the-ladyblog-2000]

Ok so there are theories going around that this is Amelie and not Emilie.

If this is true Gabriel really just said

and then proceeded to orphan his child.

[spoks-illogical-art]

surprise fanart you would have never expected from me

[maribatshipper]

Hey, hey, hey, we all know Maribat/Adribat/Miraculous-Batman-DC crossovers, right? The very Popular Damianette ship?

Okay, and we all know John Constantine making deals with all sorts of demons and monsters, sleeping with them, missing pieces of his soul, snorting Santa's bones, we all know John Constantine, right?

Okay... Now, I give you...

Blond Flirty Cat-boy...

Blond Slutty Trenchcoat Man...

And make John think he screwed some French chick because, Damn, THIS KID REEKS OF MAGIC!!!!

Why? Adrien's a Senti-being, AND the Ring of Destruction. It takes a while for John to figure it out, but when he realises this kid wasn't made from sex, he thinks, "Shit, did someone make a magic golem with my DNA?!"

By the time he finally gets the rundown on THE PEACOCK MIRACULOUS, he's too reluctantly attached to Adrien and Adrien is somehow clinging to this Much Better than Gabriel Father Figure despite all the red flags because "This Dad Taught me stuff I can use! And let's me do things I wanna do!"

Okay, but why is John in Paris, you may ask?

Magic People can Sense big things happening. Like a magic tear in reality. And the Wish in the end of Season 5? Yeah, that set off EVERYONE'S alarm system, but nothing seems to be going wrong in Paris, or it isn't going wrong anymore, and the timeline seems the same, no one can figure out what changed, but SOMETHING did, because they sensed it.

So John goes there for some reason or another, to grab whatever caused that magic surge and hide it, to use it for himself, whatever John is more likely to do.

Only to bump into this kid with his date that looks like a *Happy, healthy* version of a younger him, making both of them stare at each other in shock. The biggest difference being the eye colour difference. But John can sense magic *radiating* from the kid. But it's like he can't pinpoint where, if it's the kid or something he's carrying. (Quantum Masking magic, New York Special.)

The young girl that looks like Bat Adoption Bait on the boy's arm notices the way they're staring at each other and moves in front of the boy protectively.

"Excuse us, Monsieur." She says and tries to move the boy away, but John has to figure out why he's like that.

"Do I know ya, kid?" John asks, directing his gaze to the boy again.

The boy laughs, speaking in relatively okay English, "It'd be hard not to recognise me. But I quit modelling."

He gestures to a billboard with "Adrien: The Fragrance", with the boy's face.

John is definitely surprised as he looks at the poster, but before he can turn back, the girl has already led Adrien away.

He knows he probably looks like some sort of creepy older guy, especially to young kids like them, but he has to find out exactly what is going on with this "Adrien Agreste."

Meanwhile, both of the children have been warned by the Kwami's that something is off about John (reveal or not, up to you), Plagg saying, "Eh, his soul smells like a bunch of guys took a bite out of it" while Tikki says, "He's missing pieces of himself, of his soul. Be careful."

Marinette is Paranoid and Adrien is surprised as the older man offers them both cigarettes.

John somehow finds Adrien seperate from Marinette and explains that he can sense the magic on Adrien, and Adrien gets awkward. John knows he has to be delicate, but delicate is not his forte, so he's straightforward. About the magic pulse from Paris. Not why he's here, but that he can definitely sense something about Adrien.

[clingyduoapologist]

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Anonymous said: >🥸

I don’t know I. I guess I just always felt that people would be happier if I was gone. Like if I died, who’s there to miss me, y’know?

My wife died once.

[worlds-worst-dad-competition]

[dear-buttercup]

Something I found very beautiful about the Paris special was that no matter what universe, Gabriel is still a jerk and a horrible parent :))

[sapphicgoblinblog]

And the worst villain ever written award goes to...

Gabriel (Hawkmoth) Agreste! He's also won the worst father award.