#God i am so proud of this third batch

[roman-catholic-mass-readings]

9th September >> Mass Readings (Except USA)

Saint Ciaran, Abbot 

on

Monday, Twenty Third Week in Ordinary Time

or

Saint Peter Claver 

Monday, Twenty Third Week in Ordinary Time

(Liturgical Colour: White. Year: B(II))

(Readings for the feria (Monday))

(There is a choice today between the readings for the ferial day (Monday) and those for the memorial. The ferial readings are recommended unless pastoral reasons suggest otherwise)

First Reading 1 Corinthians 5:1-8 Get rid of the old yeast of evil and wickedness.

I have been told as an undoubted fact that one of you is living with his father’s wife. This is a case of sexual immorality among you that must be unparalleled even among pagans. How can you be so proud of yourselves? You should be in mourning. A man who does a thing like that ought to have been expelled from the community. Though I am far away in body, I am with you in spirit, and have already condemned the man who did this thing as if I were actually present. When you are assembled together in the name of the Lord Jesus, and I am spiritually present with you, then with the power of our Lord Jesus he is to be handed over to Satan so that his sensual body may be destroyed and his spirit saved on the day of the Lord. The pride that you take in yourselves is hardly to your credit. You must know how even a small amount of yeast is enough to leaven all the dough, so get rid of all the old yeast, and make yourselves into a completely new batch of bread, unleavened as you are meant to be. Christ, our passover, has been sacrificed; let us celebrate the feast, then, by getting rid of all the old yeast of evil and wickedness, having only the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth.

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

Responsorial Psalm Psalm 5:5-7,12

R/ Lead me, Lord, in your justice.

You are no God who loves evil; no sinner is your guest. The boastful shall not stand their ground before your face.

R/ Lead me, Lord, in your justice.

You hate all who do evil; you destroy all who lie. The deceitful and bloodthirsty man the Lord detests.

R/ Lead me, Lord, in your justice.

All those you protect shall be glad and ring out their joy. You shelter them; in you they rejoice, those who love your name.

R/ Lead me, Lord, in your justice.

Gospel Acclamation Psalm 118:105

Alleluia, alleluia! Your word is a lamp for my steps and a light for my path. Alleluia!

Or: John 10:27

Alleluia, alleluia! The sheep that belong to me listen to my voice, says the Lord, I know them and they follow me. Alleluia!

Gospel Luke 6:6-11 Is it against the law on the sabbath to save life?

On the sabbath Jesus went into the synagogue and began to teach, and a man was there whose right hand was withered. The scribes and the Pharisees were watching him to see if he would cure a man on the sabbath, hoping to find something to use against him. But he knew their thoughts; and he said to the man with the withered hand, ‘Stand up! Come out into the middle.’ And he came out and stood there. Then Jesus said to them, ‘I put it to you: is it against the law on the sabbath to do good, or to do evil; to save life, or to destroy it?’ Then he looked round at them all and said to the man, ‘Stretch out your hand.’ He did so, and his hand was better. But they were furious, and began to discuss the best way of dealing with Jesus.

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

------------------------------

Saint Ciaran, Abbot 

(Liturgical Colour: White. Year: B(II))

(Readings for the memorial)

(There is a choice today between the readings for the ferial day (Monday) and those for the memorial. The ferial readings are recommended unless pastoral reasons suggest otherwise)

Either:

First Reading Deuteronomy 10:8-9 The Lord set apart the tribe of Levi to do him service.

Moses said to the people: ‘The Lord set apart the tribe of Levi to carry the ark of the Lord’s covenant, to stand in the presence of the Lord, to do him service and in his name to pronounce blessing as they still do today. Levi therefore has no share or inheritance with his brothers: the Lord is his inheritance, as the Lord your God told him.’

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

OR: --------

First reading 1 Kings 19:4-9,11-15 The Lord was not in the wind, or the earthquake, or the fire

Elijah went into the wilderness, a day’s journey, and sitting under a furze bush wished he were dead. ‘O Lord,’ he said ‘I have had enough. Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.’ Then he lay down and went to sleep. But an angel touched him and said, ‘Get up and eat.’ He looked round, and there at his head was a scone baked on hot stones, and a jar of water. He ate and drank and then lay down again. But the angel of the Lord came back a second time and touched him and said, ‘Get up and eat, or the journey will be too long for you.’ So he got up and ate and drank, and strengthened by that food he walked for forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God. There he went into the cave and spent the night in it. Then he was told, ‘Go out and stand on the mountain before the Lord.’ Then the Lord himself went by. There came a mighty wind, so strong it tore the mountains and shattered the rocks before the Lord. But the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind came an earthquake. But the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire. But the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire there came the sound of a gentle breeze. And when Elijah heard this, he covered his face with his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. Then a voice came to him, which said, ‘What are you doing here, Elijah?’ He replied, ‘I am filled with jealous zeal for the Lord of Hosts, because the sons of Israel have deserted you, broken down your altars and put your prophets to the sword. I am the only one left and they want to kill me.’ ‘Go,’ the Lord said, ‘go back by the same way to the wilderness of Damascus.’

OR: --------

First reading 1 Kings 19:16,19-21 Elisha leaves the plough to follow Elijah

The Lord said to Elijah, ‘Go, you are to anoint Elisha son of Shaphat, of Abel Meholah, as prophet to succeed you.’ Leaving there, Elijah came on Elisha son of Shaphat as he was ploughing behind twelve yoke of oxen, he himself being with the twelfth. Elijah passed near to him and threw his cloak over him. Elisha left his oxen and ran after Elijah. ‘Let me kiss my father and mother, then I will follow you’ he said. Elijah answered, ‘Go, go back; for have I done anything to you?’ Elisha turned away, took the pair of oxen and slaughtered them. He used the plough for cooking the oxen, then gave to his men, who ate. He then rose, and followed Elijah and became his servant.

Responsorial Psalm Psalm 1:1-4,6

His delight is the law of the Lord. or Happy the man who has placed his trust in the Lord. or The just will flourish like the palm-tree in the courts of our God.

Happy indeed is the man who follows not the counsel of the wicked; nor lingers in the way of sinners nor sits in the company of scorners, but whose delight is the law of the Lord and who ponders his law day and night.

His delight is the law of the Lord. or Happy the man who has placed his trust in the Lord. or The just will flourish like the palm-tree in the courts of our God.

He is like a tree that is planted beside the flowing waters, that yields its fruit in due season and whose leaves shall never fade; and all that he does shall prosper.

His delight is the law of the Lord. or Happy the man who has placed his trust in the Lord. or The just will flourish like the palm-tree in the courts of our God.

Not so are the wicked, not so! For they like winnowed chaff shall be driven away by the wind: for the Lord guards the way of the just but the way of the wicked leads to doom.

His delight is the law of the Lord. or Happy the man who has placed his trust in the Lord. or The just will flourish like the palm-tree in the courts of our God.

Gospel Acclamation Mt5:3

Alleluia, alleluia! How happy are the poor in spirit: theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Alleluia!

Or: Mt5:6

Alleluia, alleluia! Happy those who hunger and thirst for what is right: they shall be satisfied. Alleluia!

Or: Mt5:8

Alleluia, alleluia! Happy the pure in heart: they shall see God. Alleluia!

Or: Mt11:25

Alleluia, alleluia! Blessed are you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, for revealing the mysteries of the kingdom to mere children. Alleluia!

Or: Mt23:11,12

Alleluia, alleluia! The greatest among you must be your servant, says the Lord: the man who humbles himself will be exalted. Alleluia!

Or: Mt11:28

Alleluia, alleluia! Come to me, all you who labour and are overburdened and I will give you rest, says the Lord. Alleluia!

Or: Lk21:36

Alleluia, alleluia! Stay awake, praying at all times for the strength to stand with confidence before the Son of Man. Alleluia!

Or: Jn8:12

Alleluia, alleluia! I am the light of the world, says the Lord; anyone who follows me will have the light of life. Alleluia!

Or: Jn8:31-32

Alleluia, alleluia! If you make my word your home you will indeed be my disciples, and you will learn the truth, says the Lord. Alleluia!

Or: Jn13:34

Alleluia, alleluia! I give you a new commandment: love one another just as I have loved you, says the Lord. Alleluia!

Or: Jn14:23

Alleluia, alleluia! If anyone loves me he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we shall come to him. Alleluia!

Or: Jn15:4,5

Alleluia, alleluia! Make your home in me, as I make mine in you, says the Lord; whoever remains in me bears fruit in plenty. Alleluia!

Or: John 15:9,5

Alleluia, alleluia! Remain in my love, says the Lord; whoever remains in me, with me in him, bears fruit in plenty. Alleluia!

Gospel Matthew 19:3-12 Husband and wife are no longer two, but one body.

Some Pharisees approached Jesus, and to test him they said, ‘Is it against the Law for a man to divorce his wife on any pretext whatever?’ He answered, ‘Have you not read that the creator from the beginning made them male and female and that he said: This is why a man must leave father and mother, and cling to his wife, and the two become one body? They are no longer two, therefore, but one body. So then, what God has united, man must not divide.’ They said to him, ‘Then why did Moses command that a writ of dismissal should be given in cases of divorce?’ ‘It was because you were so unteachable’ he said ‘that Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but it was not like this from the beginning. Now I say this to you: the man who divorces his wife – I am not speaking of fornication – and marries another, is guilty of adultery.’ The disciples said to him, ‘If that is how things are between husband and wife, it is not advisable to marry.’ But he replied, ‘It is not everyone who can accept what I have said, but only those to whom it is granted. There are eunuchs born that way from their mother’s womb, there are eunuchs made so by men and there are eunuchs who have made themselves that way for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let anyone accept this who can.’

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

-----------------------------

Saint Peter Claver 

(Liturgical Colour: White. Year: B(II))

(Readings for the memorial)

(There is a choice today between the readings for the ferial day (Monday) and those for the memorial. The ferial readings are recommended unless pastoral reasons suggest otherwise)

Either:

First Reading Tobit 12:6-13 Bless God and utter his praise before all the living.

Raphael took Tobit and his son Tobias aside and said, ‘Bless God, utter his praise before all the living for all the favours he has given you. Bless and extol his name. Proclaim before all men the deeds of God as they deserve, and never tire of giving him thanks. It is right to keep the secret of a king, yet right to reveal and publish the works of God. Thank him worthily. Do what is good, and no evil can befall you. ‘Prayer with fasting and alms with right conduct are better than riches with iniquity. Better to practise almsgiving than to hoard up gold. Almsgiving saves from death and purges every kind of sin. Those who give alms have their fill of days; those who commit sin and do evil, bring harm on themselves. ‘I am going to tell you the whole truth, hiding nothing from you. I have already told you that it is right to keep the secret of a king, yet right too to reveal in worthy fashion the works of God. So you must know that when you and Sarah were at prayer, it was I who offered your supplications before the glory of the Lord and who read them; so too when you were burying the dead. When you did not hesitate to get up and leave the table to go and bury a dead man, I was sent to test your faith, and at the same time God sent me to heal you and your daughter-in-law Sarah.’

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

OR: --------

First reading Isaiah 58:6-11 Then will your light shine like the dawn

Is not this the sort of fast that pleases me – it is the Lord who speaks – to break unjust fetters and undo the thongs of the yoke,

to let the oppressed go free, and break every yoke, to share your bread with the hungry, and shelter the homeless poor,

to clothe the man you see to be naked and not turn from your own kin? Then will your light shine like the dawn and your wound be quickly healed over.

Your integrity will go before you and the glory of the Lord behind you. Cry, and the Lord will answer; call, and he will say, ‘I am here.’

If you do away with the yoke, the clenched fist, the wicked word, if you give your bread to the hungry, and relief to the oppressed,

your light will rise in the darkness, and your shadows become like noon. The Lord will always guide you, giving you relief in desert places.

He will give strength to your bones and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water whose waters never run dry.

Responsorial Psalm Psalm 1:1-4,6

His delight is the law of the Lord. or Happy the man who has placed his trust in the Lord. or The just will flourish like the palm-tree in the courts of our God.

Happy indeed is the man who follows not the counsel of the wicked; nor lingers in the way of sinners nor sits in the company of scorners, but whose delight is the law of the Lord and who ponders his law day and night.

His delight is the law of the Lord. or Happy the man who has placed his trust in the Lord. or The just will flourish like the palm-tree in the courts of our God.

He is like a tree that is planted beside the flowing waters, that yields its fruit in due season and whose leaves shall never fade; and all that he does shall prosper.

His delight is the law of the Lord. or Happy the man who has placed his trust in the Lord. or The just will flourish like the palm-tree in the courts of our God.

Not so are the wicked, not so! For they like winnowed chaff shall be driven away by the wind: for the Lord guards the way of the just but the way of the wicked leads to doom.

His delight is the law of the Lord. or Happy the man who has placed his trust in the Lord. or The just will flourish like the palm-tree in the courts of our God.

Gospel Acclamation Mt5:3

Alleluia, alleluia! How happy are the poor in spirit: theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Alleluia!

Or: Mt5:6

Alleluia, alleluia! Happy those who hunger and thirst for what is right: they shall be satisfied. Alleluia!

Or: Mt5:8

Alleluia, alleluia! Happy the pure in heart: they shall see God. Alleluia!

Or: Mt11:25

Alleluia, alleluia! Blessed are you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, for revealing the mysteries of the kingdom to mere children. Alleluia!

Or: Mt23:11,12

Alleluia, alleluia! The greatest among you must be your servant, says the Lord: the man who humbles himself will be exalted. Alleluia!

Or: Mt11:28

Alleluia, alleluia! Come to me, all you who labour and are overburdened and I will give you rest, says the Lord. Alleluia!

Or: Lk21:36

Alleluia, alleluia! Stay awake, praying at all times for the strength to stand with confidence before the Son of Man. Alleluia!

Or: Jn8:12

Alleluia, alleluia! I am the light of the world, says the Lord; anyone who follows me will have the light of life. Alleluia!

Or: Jn8:31-32

Alleluia, alleluia! If you make my word your home you will indeed be my disciples, and you will learn the truth, says the Lord. Alleluia!

Or: Jn13:34

Alleluia, alleluia! I give you a new commandment: love one another just as I have loved you, says the Lord. Alleluia!

Or: Jn14:23

Alleluia, alleluia! If anyone loves me he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we shall come to him. Alleluia!

Or: Jn15:4,5

Alleluia, alleluia! Make your home in me, as I make mine in you, says the Lord; whoever remains in me bears fruit in plenty. Alleluia!

Or: John 15:9,5

Alleluia, alleluia! Remain in my love, says the Lord; whoever remains in me, with me in him, bears fruit in plenty. Alleluia!

Gospel Matthew 25:31-46 I was naked and you clothed me; sick, and you visited me.

Jesus said to his disciples: ‘When the Son of Man comes in his glory, escorted by all the angels, then he will take his seat on his throne of glory. All the nations will be assembled before him and he will separate men one from another as the shepherd separates sheep from goats. He will place the sheep on his right hand and the goats on his left. ‘Then the King will say to those on his right hand, “Come, you whom my Father has blessed, take for your heritage the kingdom prepared for you since the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food; I was thirsty and you gave me drink; I was a stranger and you made me welcome; naked and you clothed me, sick and you visited me, in prison and you came to see me.” Then the virtuous will say to him in reply, “Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you; or thirsty and give you drink? When did we see you a stranger and make you welcome; naked and clothe you; sick or in prison and go to see you?” And the King will answer, “I tell you solemnly, in so far as you did this to one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did it to me.” ‘Next he will say to those on his left hand, “Go away from me, with your curse upon you, to the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you never gave me food; I was thirsty and you never gave me anything to drink; I was a stranger and you never made me welcome, naked and you never clothed me, sick and in prison and you never visited me.” Then it will be their turn to ask, “Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty, a stranger or naked, sick or in prison, and did not come to your help?” Then he will answer, “I tell you solemnly, in so far as you neglected to do this to one of the least of these, you neglected to do it to me.” ‘And they will go away to eternal punishment, and the virtuous to eternal life.’

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

[bleachbleachbleach]

Y’all.

I had vague memory that Matsumoto batch-cooking was a thing that happened, but I did not realize the specific context of this scene. This is BANANAS.

Okay, I need to back up. At this point in the story, 3/4 Bount and Ichinose have been neutralized as threats. There are a lot of injuries and Ishida is chomping at the bit to finish his Oedipal narrative arc, and Matsumoto wisely points out that everyone has been running around for over 24 hours and rest and food are IMPORTANT. Which is thoughtful and lovely, except... when she said that I thought they were just going to have some niblets and get four hours of sleep or something, because there is a highly dangerous, vengeful murderman roaming the streets of the Seireitei right now. He already blew up a building and took out a Gate Guardian, held his own against Byakuya, and has the ability to regenerate himself by taking bites out of Seireitei Shingles. 

But instead they have a whole-ass block party!!! WHAT IS HAPPENING. 

This is especially funny because in the next episode Ishida shows up to fight Kariya alone, and where is Ichigo? where is everyone else? STILL AT THE 10TH DIVISION SLUMBER PARTY THAT’S WHERE. Ishida got up early for his regular morning insanity and everyone else nearly slept through the thrilling conclusion to this arc.

Even more bananas is the fact that Kariya... I don’t actually know, I wasn’t paying attention, but I guess he absorbed a power thingy and was waiting to get maximally powerful. My man got his COVID booster and is waiting for peak immunity. So literally time is of the essence!! And this is what they do!!!

(In fairness, it doesn’t seem anyone at this block party knows about the power thingy during that scene. But the next morning Rantao tells them all about what they missed while they were asleep and Hitsugaya is like, ‘Yeah, we heard about the power thingy. Time is of the essence!’ so clearly at some point they got this information and then proceeded to just keep doing whatever they were already doing.)

I am just so conflicted because I love a morale party but OH MY GOD WHAT. WHAT ARE YOU PEOPLE DOING. Idk this just feels like just sitting down to KBBQ two hours before an international flight, and you’re not even at the airport yet. It gives me ANXIETY.

On the other hand, it is a lovely spread:

I laughed out loud at myself the other day when I was pulling these caps, because my first thought was, “Oh, interesting! Vegetarian!”

And my second was, LOL. HOW CAN YOU TELL. EVERYTHING IS POLYGONS.

I think it’s because immediately prior, I’d been meal planning, and I was trying to decide whether I felt autumnal enough to make this, so I had it on the brain, but I’m willing to hold to my original impression of this meal and say that it is, indeed, vegetarian. There’s mushrooms and pickles happening in the side dishes and the soup looks like carrots and at least two different kinds of starchy vegetable. And there’s a basket of raw vegetables.

This is interesting to me because I am always interested in what they eat in Soul Society (and what the supply chain is), and I feel like this meal being vegetarian tracks. Given that the population of entities who need to eat is the minority, I imagine agricultural practice has remained pretty small-scale. We see fields sometimes, but domestic animals don’t seem like a huge thing. There’s one (1) boar biker gang and given how proud they are of this, that’s probably not the norm.

I’m not saying Soul Society is vegetarian--plenty of proof against this--but if meat is prepared in Soul Society I’m guessing more often than not it’s wild game (and even this feels very mysterious to me, XD); but anyway, that’s hard to do on an industrial scale, particularly on short notice, so if you’re a normal shinigami eating a normal meal, it’s probably rice and vegetables. They only whip out the fancy food for fancy occasions like Byakuya’s hanami, the installation of the New Third Captain, and Jump Festa. If you’re a noble, well, that’s different. And even if you’re a VC-level officer and above--it’s probably a little different, since there do appear to be exclusive dining establishments that cater to VCs and their corporealized zanpakutou that one time. Or if you’re with Unohana and she treats you to a fancy pork dish (meat provenance: undisclosed). But normie shinigami? No wonder Rin was so excited about cake, and Hanatarou got so distracted by the Miraculous Living World Combini!

My main point: Hitsugaya let them have a block party mid murderman-invasion, but they did not go to McDonald’s--even with their esteemed guests Kurosaki Ichigo And Friends in attendance--because they had tubers at home.

Secondary point: Tongs Renji was excited af for that Living World barbecue during the Reigai arc, and for good reason!!

[bubblyhoney]

three times you interrupt george

warnings: none! my first fic with no language are you proud of me ;)

tags: georgenotfound x gn!reader

words: 1355

A/N: pretty much every fic i’ve posted has been written a minimum of an hour before i post it— my b. anyways george is soft and he makes me soft enjoy

requests/inbox status: open

-

The first time you barge in on George’s stream is about four months into your relationship. He is starting to get comfortable being his online persona around you, and suggests rather than get on your train at 1 am, you stay over. “Like a sleepover?” you ask and watch his cheeks start glowing pink.

Yes, exactly like a sleepover.

The sound of the bedroom door opening makes him pick up his water bottle and immediately turn off his camera and microphone, indistinguishable from the unannounced bathroom breaks he usually takes. Turning towards you slightly in his chair, an amused expression grows on his face. You’re barely awake, hovering in his doorway with a crinkled t-shirt and basketball shorts pulled on haphazardly in the dark on your way out of the bedroom. (You don’t sleep in pants. That’s for heathens.)

“Water,” you croak, arms stiff at your side and blinking wildly in the fluorescent lighting of his flat. He tries to hide his smirk and pads over to you, passing you his water bottle with a huff of a laugh. His hand drops to yours, grabbing and rubbing his thumb into your blanket-creased skin. You’re cold.

“I have extra blankets in the cupboard.” He doesn’t let go of your hand. You nod robotically, draining the nearingly lukewarm water through that straw and— he can almost see life return to your face. When you hand the empty bottle back to him, you’re licking your lips and squinting like you’re having a staring contest with the sun.

“I’m gonna go back to bed.” Your voice is thick with sleep, nasally like it always is in the morning. You lift to scratch a hand at your stomach and lean your head forward, bowing to George at an awkward angle. In a second he knows what you’re doing and grants you one (1) forehead kiss before you’re trundling off to the bedroom on legs that function like stilts.

“Sorry guys,” he sighs heavily when he’s back in his chair. “Took a minute long nap and I feel so refreshed.”

The second instance of interruption comes on a day when he’s too entranced in some bizarre Minecraft challenge (with his camera off, for focus reasons) to notice you.

You walk up the stairs, hand on the railing, and expect to find your boyfriend zonked out on the couch with six pillows behind his head and an eye mask. Instead, he’s at his desk, eye bags a lovely shade of violet, with rimrod posture, clicking furiously at his mouse. He’s silent when you pass him to drop your things off in the kitchen. Silent the whole time you go to the bathroom, and silent the whole time you’re making breakfast.

The distance between his flat and your own isn’t monumental, but it is enough to make you exhausted on the train ride over. (It doesn't take much, truthfully.) That’s why you book the tickets hilariously early in the morning and have a perfectly-timed nap. Still, you wake up from it ravenous. And George has a horrible habit of ordering take-away for every meal, so you grab a couple ingredients for breakfast at the mart you pass every couple of days you’re here.

Today it’s omelets and bruschetta toast. George jokes you’re related to Gordon Ramsey distantly for the amount of posh foods you cook; you say you just have taste. Half a dozen eggs, a few veggies, a bulb of garlic, and a loaf of bread is barely £15 at the mart down the road. The rest of the ingredients lie barely touched in his cabinets. You work quickly and have two plates filled with warm and delicious smelling food in the period it takes him to die one more time in Minecraft.

Wobbling two plates and a glass of orange juice on one arm, you approach the backside of his desk on careful and slow feet. When you set his plate and drink down next to him he catches you by the wrist and brings your forearm to his mouth, pressing a kiss there and looking up at you with those brown eyes.

“Thank you,” he mumbles against the sweetness of your skin and presses two more kisses to your wrist. He pulls away and takes a large sip from the orange juice before spam-clicking the shift button at a familiar green character. You leave his station with a smile, feeling warm.

“Y/N!” he calls, leaning back in his chair with a hand on his stomach. “C’mere. Please.”

“Bossy,” you mutter, but get up from your place on the couch and trot over to him with a huff.

“Tell Sapnap what you put in the omelet,” is all he says before passing you his headset and snaking an arm around your waist. You stumble towards him but manage to get the headphones on before Sapnap starts spewing about a breakfast burrito he ate last week that had jalapeños and onions in it. One thing you never thought you’d get to discuss with the man was your culinary prowess, but it seems today is the day of surprises— George helps you bake a batch of salted caramel brownies after finishing up work, too.

He doesn’t even catch anything on fire.

The third time you catch George working is right at the end of a Gang Beasts stream with Karl, Tina, and Corpse. He’s just finishing his last wave goodbye and ending the stream when you shudder through his front door with a small bag in your hand.

“Good news,” you announce through a grin. “My GNF candle came in.”

“Your what?” He laughs, closing the browser with a click and sleeping his monitor. You dig the item out and place it ceremoniously on the glass of his desk. His jaw drops.

“Isn’t that cool?” You ask excitedly, nearly bouncing on your feet.

“Oh my God.” He picks up the squat candle, lifting it to his nose to catch a sniff. Hm. Pine. “I wish I smelled like that.”

You just shrug and take it from him, darting into the kitchen to produce a lighter and light the wick quickly. You take a deep inhale when the flame sparks and stills.

“Yeah, that smells nothing like you. You smell more…” You trail off, lips pursed and eyebrows drawn in thought.

“Manly?” He quirks an eyebrow at you. You ponder that and just take another smell.

“More sweet. Much sweeter.”

“That’s cute,” he admits, getting up and disappearing into his bedroom.

“Are you gonna take a nap?” You set the candle down onto the countertop, making your way into his room like you own it. He’s at his closet, tugging off his sweatshirt.

“Yeah,” he answers, muffled by fabric, and finally gets the collar of the hoodie past his neck. “Care to join?” The hoodie goes into his laundry basket and he tugs the covers of his bed back, flashing you a look. You nod, flinging your shoes off and into the emptiness of his closet before crawling into the center of his bed and flopping down halfway onto him. He makes an unsatisfied noise and shuffles onto his stomach. Giggling, you roll into a sitting position and get yourself under the covers.

“Warm in here,” you mutter and get situated. His accompanying pillow is soft on your cheek when you twist onto your stomach and shove an arm underneath it. He just hums in agreement and stares at you. “Hold on.” You plant an elbow on the space between you two and manage to press a firm kiss on his cheek. Okay, perhaps two. If it’s three then George is colorblind.

“Thanks. I guess.”

“Anytime, darling,” is all you say before your eyes are closing and you’re breathing a sigh that deflates your chest.

A hand grapples up your arm, scrambling for your own. You just smile to yourself and offer your palm to him. He takes it wordlessly and squeezes twice before letting your tangle of fingers drop to the sheets.

-

A/N: ask or send me some stuff!! requests, rants, anything. :D let me know what you think in the comments!

[chaeiimimi]

14 𝖍𝖊𝖑𝖑𝖔 𝖇𝖆𝖇𝖞

Summary: you weren’t really sure how it happened, but an average student who wore glasses and spent all her extra time on bookstores and library managed to date your school’s volleyball club setter. On your 3rd year of law school, your ten years anniversary to be exact, he went home from Argentina and it was a week before he was going back, he broke up with you with the reason of he can't handle long-distance relationship anymore despite being at it for two years. You didn’t cry, you stood there as he was sobbing in front of you, you held his face in your palms and offered him a gentle smile, gentle enough to let him know you’ll support him and will always be watching him, together with the child in your stomach right now, but he doesn’t need to know that.

Oikawa's press conference broke the internet, who could've thought that the kind, lovely and innocent Sato Himari wasn't who she seemed to be?

The internet was quick to switch sides, of course some of Himari's avid fans were still on her side and were still pushing the fact that Oikawa was the father of the child and Y/n manipulated Oikawa to do the press conference, but the majority was on y/n's side

The night after the conference, there was a huge celebration at your house, since you and Himari decided to cook up a huge feast, Oikawa's teammates from Argentina stopped by and visited your home and had a few drinks, Iwaizumi, Akira and the Seijoh Volleyball team of your batch was also there

The night was filled with a lot of tone-deaf singing from Akira, Iwaizumi trying to save his girlfriend from embarassment and misserably failing, Kindaichi having to vomit every few minutes but still decided to drink more, the twins being passed around because people can't get enough of their cuteness until Haruto just fell asleep on Kunimi's lap and Hayato fell asleep on one of Oikawa's teammates lap, Maki and Issei slow dancing to Akira singing "Hello" by Adelle which was very off key, Oikawa taking a picture of them with his left hand while his right is securly wrapped around your waist, Oikawa's argentinian teammates speaking in spanish while Oikawa translates for the team and vice versa to his Japanese friends

It was indeed a fun time, it felt like your head was lifted from underwater, you can breath again, the heavy burden you've been carrying for the past few months evaporated into thin air

A week after that, you were able to file a case against Himari, although you didn't want to do it in the first place because she was still your cousin and she's also pregnant, but you were also a mother and you were only trying to save your kids and your family on what she can do in the future

It was also later on found out that she was mentally unstable and needed therapy before having her baby

Everything seems to be falling in place, and it was a week before Oikawa had to leave for Argentina to begin a new season

You laid in your bed face to face, his hot breath fanning your forehead while you nuzzle into his chest

"bubs?" he calls

"hm?"

"i'm going back to Argentina next week"

"yeah, I know you're gonna do well this season"

"for sure, I have to make you and the twins proud"

You chuckled

"win or lose, we're still proud of you Tooru"

He smiles as he pulls you closer

"I know this might be too fast, and I know it still hasn't been long since we got together, god this is the lamest way to say it, but, will you move with me? To Argentina"

You feel his breath hitch and his heartbeat quicken, was he nervous?

You looked up at him and smiled

"we'll follow you anywhere babe"

And just like that, the day after Oikawa was helping you pack your things, he also insists on only bringing your clothes and not empty out the whole house since he still plans on staying here during off seasons, which was why, unbeknownst to your knowledge, he bought the house

A week later, you flew to Argentina to start a new life with Oikawa and your sons

"papa rapido!" Hayato exclaims while clutching the bag filled with baby bottles

"Mama are you okay?" Haruto calmy rubs your back and stomach as you were sweating buckets and breathing deeply, a puddle of water in front of the chair you were sitting on

The twins are now six years old and grew up to be fine boys

You were now expecting your third baby and your first daughter, but you didn't expect to give birth to her in Japan, you travelled here during mid-pregnancy and Oikawa had a long off-season, but you weren't due in like a week or two and you were planning on returning to Argentina tomorrow

Looks like that's going to have to wait

"OIKAWA I AM NOT ABOUT TO GIVE BIRTH IN THIS HOUSE" you screamed

Your husband came out of your room, multiple bags hung in his body, his lips were trembling and his hand clutching his phone was shaking

"y-yeah yeah l-let me call an a-ambulance"

He shakingly dials a number

It rings three times before somebody picks up

"hello!"

"hello pizza delivery how may I help you sir?"

...

What the fuck?

"did you just dial a pizza place while your wife is in labor?"

The twins looks at the door and cheered "Seijoh Uncles!" synchronised like they were looking at their saving grace

Lo and behold it was indeed the Seijon ex-volleyball team, right there to save the day

Maki and Watari took the bags hanging on Oikawa's body

"carry your wife to the van"

Oikawa mindlessly nods and carries you in bridal style to Issei's van, which by the way had a huge fucking funeral home logo on it

But it didn't matter to Oikawa, what mattered was to get his wife to deliver their baby girl safely

And soon a whole ass volleyball team except for Iwaizumi, a shouting pregnant woman and two hyperactive twins were able to fit in the funeral home van

Thank god it wasn't traffic 'cause you ain't never seen a funeral home van travel so fast it was practically flying

Your arrival caused a huge commotion, imagine fully grown men, stepping out of a funeral home vam, screaming "help she's giving birth!", two identical boys screaming "our sister is coming!" and a very pale husband who was carrying his pregnant wife with wobbly knees

What added even more to the commotion was an arrival of another van, it was black with a huge MSBY sign to it

It revealed a Bokuto in a maskot costume without the head, Akaashi holding his-well the maskot's hand, Atsumu and Hinata practically screaming "this is an emergency! A baby is about to come out of her!", Sakusa who was clutching all the baby bags looking very embarassed at his teammates while Iwaizumi was there, his trainer clothes crumpled, his hair dishevelled and carrying Akira who was practically going hysterical

The medical staffs were flabbergasted at the sight of a lot of tall, muscular man in the ER, they immediately led the two husbands to the place their wives on the bed and rolled them over to the same delivery room since there wasn't any vacant one

"hey Iwa, I don't mind if my daughter falls in love with your son"

Oikawa says out of nowhere, their screaming wives in the background

"shut up shittykawa...I don't mind either"

"YOU TWO BETTER STOP THAT BROMANCE MOMENT OF YOURS WE ARE LITERALLY DYING HERE" you screamed in so much pain

"IWAIZUMI YOU MOTHERFUCKER I'M NEVER GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU EVER AGAIN AHHHHH" Akira was having it worst since it was her first time

Oikawa was pale, because of the nervous and the fact that you were squeezing his hand so tightly it felt like it was going to break

While Iwaizumi was taking Akira's tugs, kisses, and curses like a champ

After a lot of abuse for Iwaizumi and Oikawa, they finally heard theur babies' cries which made it all worth it

Oikawa takes a look at your daughtee, his eyes watered as he cuts the umbilical cord

He went to you and peppered your sweaty and unconscious face with kisses

"thank you bubs, thank you for making me the happiest man on earth now"

I may or may not be posting special chapters. Anywayssssss~ i just got home from a fam reunion and I'm finally updating this BHSHSHSHS, i love you guys so much, thank you to all those who read this until the end😭💖 sending virtual hugs and kithes😘 and remember to stay happy, healthy and safe babeesss💗💓

Taglist:

@heiressofdexter @artsamber @seashellmichellee @meri-soni-meri-tamanna @misssugarless @minnieminnie00-got7  @karakento @maizumis @torus-wiife @fiaesco @stormcastello @tintina365 @sakusasimpbot   @falconfeather23435 ​ @jojowantstocry @pluviophilefangirl ​ @qualitygiantshoepsychic

[doing-all-write]

home for the holidays

Pairing: Ben x Fem!Reader (she/her pronouns)

Summary: Reader is fine with being alone on Christmas. In fact she prefers it. But when her best friend, Michael Hardy, invites her to Christmas with his family, how is she to refuse? Especially when Michael lets slip that his mysterious brother Ben will be around for the holidays... 

Word Count: 9K

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol, implied sex and swearing. And so much goddamn softness, WHEW. 

A/N: HI!!!! I’M BACK!!! AND ALIVE!!! 2020 has kicked my ass in many ways but I cannot thank all of you enough for supporting me. To all my new followers, to all my old followers, to everyone who still liked and reblogged my stories, I saw all of you and it made me happier than you could have imagined in this dumpster fire year. I hope all of you made it through this year and I hope this sweet little story makes you feel better.

I would be remiss to not give a huge, massive thank you and I love you to the Lizard Ladies, @mrhoemazzello​ , @diasimar​, and @fairestkillerqueenofall​. You three are truly the wind beneath my wings, the farts in my butt, the light at the end of the tunnel. I can’t thank you enough for the love and support this year and I love you from the very bottom of my heart.

💖💖As always likes, comments and reblogs are always appreciated 💖💖

I'm......dreaming.....of a white......Christmas

Bing Crosby's velvet voice wafted through the air, competing with the scent of pine from the lit candle as they wafted through the apartment. Swaying along to the slow beat, she measured out the final cup of flour she needed for her last batch of gingerbread. 

The air was thick with flour and if she stuck her tongue out, she was sure it would taste of baked goods. Humming absentmindedly, she popped the last batch of cookies into the oven and reached up for the towel flung over her shoulder to wipe her hands off. Pulling her phone out of pocket, she set a timer and checked her messages.

There was one from her friend, Michael: 

Mum won't let up about you coming over for the holidays

Oh? 

yeah

Why?? 

cuz she thinks no one should be alone for the holidays 

Rolling her eyes, she huffed out a breath at Michael's message. She had moved to London when a job offer had come up she couldn't refuse. To help her get the lay of the land for her neighborhood she had taken up jogging. On one of her nightly jogs she had turned a corner and-

WHAM

Groceries went flying one way and she another. As she lay groaning on the ground amidst spilled apples, she contemplated which would be worst, dying from a concussion from running into someone or dying from embarrassment from running into someone.

"You alrigh'?" 

Groaning, she slipped her hand into the one extended to her, "Yeah. I think so. My ego's more bruised than my tailbone so we'll go ahead and chalk that one up to a win." 

The chuckle caused her lips to raise up in a smirk as a woman's voice cut through the conversation, "Oh dear! Michael, I told you to watch where you're going! And this poor young woman...are you quite all right, dear?" 

Stifling a laugh at the rolled eye coming from, she could only assume was Michael, her eyes snapped back to the woman in front of her. One blond curl hanging in front of her eyes as her hands fluttered around (Y/N)'s body, not wanting to cross the line into impropriety.

"Really, it's alright! I'm alright." 

"Are you sure? I can't apologize enough-"

"Seriously! It's fine. It was no big deal. I wasn't -"

"Well he clearly wasn't either-"

The two women's voices were overlapping each other and finally the man stepped forward and gently clasped his hand around the older woman's wrist, "C'mon mum. I think she's okay." 

Eyes scrutinizing her face, (Y/N) did her best to arrange her features into someone who didn't have a concussion. 

She wasn't sure how effective it was but it seemed to quell the older woman's nerves as she nodded and took stock of the mess surrounding them.

"Oh god. Looks a bit like we've upended a fruit stall haven't we?" 

Chuckling, (Y/N) knelt down to help clean up the mess. Gently handing things over to the woman as her son placed them gently back into the bag. After the last piece of fruit had been collected, she wiped her hands on her pants and stood up with a groan.

The woman's eyes snapped back to her immediately as her son groaned, "Ahh c'mon, why couldn't you have kept that in?"

"Sorry! Not my fault I've got the bones of a 90 year old already." she grimaced as she arched her back in an attempt to stretch it out.

"At least let us walk you home, dear. Please? It'll make me feel better that you'll be alright and safe." 

Glancing over the woman and her son, (Y/N) figured the worst harm they could have done her was already out of the way so she shrugged and told them what street she lived on. 

The woman's eyes lit up, "Oh! That's not far from us at all is it, Mickey?" 

Cheeks pinking at the nickname, "Mickey" nodded and mumbled something as he became studiously interested in the ground. 

Smirking at his reaction she nodded and turned in the direction of her home. As they strolled along, (Y/N) got to know her two new friends better. Angela did live just up the street and had two sons. Michael and Ben. She was married to Keith and Michael still lived with his parents but Ben was out of the house, working as an actor. It was obvious she was proud of Ben but immensely proud of Michael as well and wanted to make sure he didn't feel left out by his brothers light. 

She stopped at the end of her walkway to her flat and pulled her key out of her pocket, "Well, I can't say I always meet people like that but I'm oddly glad we met this way." Chuckling, Michael patted her shoulder and Angela pulled her into a hug. 

As she released her, her eyes flicked over the house, "Dear, it doesn't look like anyone's home. Will they be soon?" her lips tugged into a frown. 

Rocking on her heels (Y/N) sucked in a breath, "Well...I, um, I live on my own so-" 

Before she could even finish that sentence, Angela had barreled past her, grabbing her key and getting a pot of tea on the stove and throwing a dish towel over her shoulder as she got dinner prepared. Michael walked past (Y/N), laughing at her gaping mouth and nudged her with the bag he was holding, "Welcome to the family." 

Since that day, Angela had invited her over to dinner at least once a week. She and Michael had gotten close and other than one drunken kiss, they were best friends.

In all this time though, (Y/N) had never met Ben. But, the holidays were approaching and from all of the fuss Angela had been making the last few days, it seemed like he was finally coming home. 

Her phone vibrated in her hand again. Another message from Michael and at least three from Angela badgering her into staying at their place for the holidays. 

Slumping against the counter, she let her eyes gaze out of her kitchen window and grow unfocused. 

She was used to spending the holidays alone and had actually come to prefer it. No annoying family members, no "accidentally" getting too drunk and asking conservative family members why they "fucking hate women." No. Her holidays now consisted of pajamas all day, whatever takeout was open and a whole bag of Hersehy's kisses that she ate throughout the whole day as one cheesy Hallmark Christmas movie played in a continuous loop.

But....

She did miss being around people. Feeling cozy. Playing a game after a big Christmas dinner. 

She missed Christmas dinner.

Maybe it wouldn't be all bad...

Plus she could finally see what Ben's deal was. 

And hang out with Michael. 

And Angela and Keith.

Before she could think too much about it she found herself texting Angela that she would be spending the holidays with the Hardys. 

~

"You fucker-"

"Michael! I didn't raise you to use that language!"

"He started it!" 

Rolling over in the twin bed in the Hardy's guest room, she thrust her arm out, wincing at the cold air biting into her skin. Snatching her phone from the nightstand, she quickly drew it back into the cocoon of warmth she'd created in the night. 

Sighing, she snuggled further into the blankets as she unlocked her phone, checking her messages, the white noise of Michael arguing with whoever was over made her smirk. 

Did one of your friends stop by? 

She scrolled through a few social media channels before Michael responded,

nope

Ben just got here

scared the shit out of me by hiding behind the kitchen door

almost spilled my entire cuppa

Letting loose a full laugh at that, she locked her phone, stretched one more time and pulled herself from the bed. Curiosity over meeting the mysterious Ben almost winning out over her need for coffee. 

Popping her head through a sweatshirt, she grabbed her phone from the nightstand and slid it into the pocket of her joggers. 

Trotting down the stairs, she followed the deep timbre of Michael's voice mingling with the higher cadence of Angela's and a third voice that...was even deeper than Michael's. 

Her breath hitched in her throat as she listened to the voices competing in the kitchen. The way they danced around each other, through each other and over each other in the way that only family members could talk to each other. 

Not wanting to interrupt them, she decided to peek through the door to get a feel for the room. Inching forward, being sure to miss the creaky floorboard that would give her away, she leaned forward. 

Eyes roving over the tableau in front of her, she felt her lips twitch as she saw Angela sitting in a chair, her hands clasped around her favorite mug, eyes shining with love at having her two boys back under the same roof. 

Michael was in the chair opposite, clutching his, she assumed, refilled mug.

She couldn't see Ben so she moved to the right and-

Her jaw dropped open.

Whipping around she pressed her back to the wall. Digging her phone out of her pocket she composed a new message to Michael. 

Why didn't you tell me your brother is hot?? 

how am i supposed to bloody know if he's hot or not

he's my brother

Yeah but

You could have at least given me a heads up!! 

Her spine stiffened as she heard footsteps approaching the door. Suddenly, Michael's silhouette filling up the door frame as he stepped forward to head up the stairs.

Before he got to the first step, she hissed, "MICHAEL"

Completely forgetting the fact that Michael had already had the wit's scared out of him by his own brother not a few moments before, she felt a little bad about scaring him again in the same way.

"JESUS. What is with this house I swear-"

Waving her hands in front of her, she stepped forward as she shushed Michael, "Keep it down! I don't want your brother to know I was creeping right outside the door!"

"Then maybe you shouldn't be creeping right out side of doors!"

"Fair point. How's my morning breath?"

Leaning forward, she let out a loud exhale only to clasp her hands over her mouth as Michael retched and stepped back, 

"Well. Shit. That answered my question." 

"Just...jesus...come into the kitchen and have a cuppa and then Ben and I were going to run some errands for Mum. You can come with us." 

Pulling her hands into the sleeves of her sweatshirt, she fidgeted as she weighed her options. As she went back and forth about the cost/benefit analysis of having Ben see her first thing in the morning in all her unwashed hair and morning breath glory. 

Then her rational side kicked in and realized how dumb she was being. Worrying about what a man would think of her, who gives a shit? The voice in her brain rationalized, if he doesn't like you looking like a half made muppet then he doesn't deserve you at your completed muppet. Shaking her head at the metaphor she'd created she looked up at Michael, "Yeah. Yes. Let's do that. Sorry. I freaked out there for a second."

"Yeah. You really did. It was almost as bad as that time the guy who looked like Tom Hiddleston winked at you from across the bar." 

"Well, who was the one who got him to pay for the drink she choked on and ended up spilling all over herself, HUH?"

Michael threw up his hands in defeat, turning on his heel to march back into the kitchen. Muttering under his breath, ruing the day Angela had run into her. 

Snickering, (Y/N) hitched her joggers up and padded behind Michael into the warmth of the kitchen. The only thing that felt warmer was the look emanating from Angela's eyes. 

"Morning, love. Sleep okay?"

"Yeah, Angela. Like a log. I swear the beds here are more comfortable than my own." She answered, leaning down to plant a kiss on her cheek. 

"Yeah, snore like one too." Michael snickered as he slid back into his chair.

"I...snore like a log?" 

"Yeah. That's definitely a saying."  

"She can't snore worse than you, mate." Ben chuckled as he pushed himself from the counter, extending his hand, "I'm Ben. Michael's brother."

"It's nice to meet you! I'm (Y/N)."

"I know. I heard all about how you met this family as soon as it happened. Michael gave me the play by play. But it seemed he changed his tune about how you're a, what was it?, a 'clumsy sod'?"

Gasping as she turned to Michael, he held his hands up, "It was forever ago! How was I to know that we were meant to be best friends?" His voice rising as he sank deeper and deeper into his chair.

Angela swatted Michael's shoulder as she went behind him to pull (Y/N)'s favorite creamer from the fridge as Ben laughed. 

"Fuck you! I might just keep your Christmas present for myself then!" 

"NO. You wouldn't!"

Pointing a threatening finger at him, she cocked an eyebrow as Angela rolled her eyes, setting the creamer down by (Y/N), "I can see that the lovely family moment we were having has been ruined. I'm getting ready. You three behave, and clean up the kitchen!" she yelled over her shoulder as she waltzed out of the room. 

(Y/N)'s eyes followed her out of the room, knowing she wasn't that upset. She was secretly thrilled her boys were back home and under the same roof as her. What mother wouldn't be?

"Oi! (Y/N)! Focus! How soon can you be ready?"

Michael's voice snapped her out of her revere. Turning back around, Ben's eyes were the first thing she locked on. Fighting back the blush climbing up her neck she cleared her throat, "Can I at least have a cup of coffee first? Please? And then i'll be ready in like, an hour?" 

"Ugh. Fine. I'm gonna go watch the match," a glint lit up in Michael's eye as he bolted out of the kitchen, finger resting on his nose, "Nose goes on not cleaning up!"

Rolling her eyes, she turned to grab the creamer and a mug from the cabinet.

"Did he always do that growing up?" 

Nodding, Ben rolled his eyes back at her, "All the time. He's the youngest, he got away with way more shit than I ever did." 

"That tracks," she replied as she doctored her coffee up. 

"Huh"

"What?" She didn't look up as she poured the brown liquid into her mug, relishing in the scent that rushed up into her nostrils, waking her up almost instantly.  

"I just-I've never seen someone pour in creamer first and then coffee."

"It eliminates the need for a spoon, my ex turned me onto this method and, I don't know, it stuck." Shrugging she moved to return the creamer to the fridge, sliding past Ben in the process, desperately hoping he'd smell bad or at least have morning breath but no. He smelled like old books, leather jackets and the first day of fall. 

Fuck. 

As she sidled past Ben, he thanked his mother for having such a small walk way between the table and the counter where he stood. She smelled like coconuts and coffee. He tried his best to not inhale too deeply, didn't want his brother's friend thinking he was a creep.

His brother's gorgeous friend.

Michael had failed to mention that (Y/N) was a knockout. He figured either they had hooked up once and it hadn't worked out or Mikey was too chicken shit to make a move. 

He would have placed his entire life savings on the latter. 

"Sorry, have to sneak past ya again." She smiled at him as she went to grab her coffee mug and Ben extended an arm in a mock bow, "My lady." 

Letting out a bark of laughter Ben couldn't help his own lips to curl up into a smile. 

"How come your brother didn't get any of that charm?" she asked, bringing the coffee up to her lips and blowing on it.

Ben wrenched his eyes from the perfect circle her lips made and forced himself to focus on their conversation, "Just goes to show I'm the superior sibling." He crossed his arms over his chest as he surveyed the kitchen. 

(Y/N)'s eyes tracked his, taking in the damage, "I'll help you clean up. If we both tackle it, it won't be too bad." 

"No, c'mon. Finish your coffee. Besides, if my mum catches you cleaning, she'll have my head. She still thinks of you as a guest." 

Snorting, she shook her head, "I know. It kills me but, hey, if it means I get a break from cleaning for a while, I'm all for it."

Ben looked up at her as he moved to collect all the dirty dishes and she tired not to gasp at how long his eyelashes were, "You live alone? Or does your boyfriend not pick up after himself like a prat?"

"Ha! No, I don't have a boyfriend, I live on my own so I have no one to blame but myself when the plates are stacked to the ceiling."

Laughing, they traded horror stories of living alone. The weirdest things they had done, the grossest things, what they liked most about it. (Y/N) was having such a good time, she didn't even think before she heard herself say, "You should come over and see my place sometime. The scene of the crime for the Great Pomegranate Death of aught four."

Ben's laugh died on his lips as he looked right into her eyes, "I would love that." 

Nodding, she looked into her empty coffee mug only to be distracted by Ben's hand coming into her periphery, "Can I take that for you? It's the last thing actually and then we're free and clear." 

"Oh, yeah! Of course. Thank you so much for doing that, I appreciate that."

"No problem, got to earn my keep around her somehow."

Giggling she stood up, following Ben as they exited the kitchen and pausing as they both reached the stairs, "Well, I'm gonna shower and get ready then we can go Christmas shopping?"

"Sounds good. I'll let Michael know."

"Cool, um, thanks for the morning company. Michael definitely downplayed how you're the cooler sibling."

"It's because he's a shit," Ben deadpanned, feeling his heart swell as she threw her head back in a laugh. 

Shaking her head she started moving up the stairs, "You got that right." 

Ben watched her go, trying to tell himself he shouldn't be thinking about his brother's best friend in the shower and how badly he wanted to join her.

~

"Why is that thing staring at me?" (Y/N)'s eyes were wide as the off-brand elf on the shelf stared back. Well...one eye was staring at her. As Ben got closer he realized the other eye was painted basically on the side of the elf's head and couldn't help jumping back a little.

"See? It's horrifying."

"Only parents who really hate their kids would buy that."

"So you and Michael had that in your rooms then?"

Ben glared at her in faux annoyance as she smirked at her own joke. 

"Aww are you guys buying that? I was going to get it for mum." Michael whined, nicking the deranged doll from its spot on the shelf and looking for a price.

"Ha. Good one man." 

"Yeah, that's a pretty good joke." (Y/N) agreed as she wandered away, distracted by the candles a few aisles down. 

"Why would you say that? I'm being serious." Michael's lip pouted and Ben swiped the elf from his hands.

"Christ. I forgot how bad you are at giving presents."

"Hey! I got you a really nice gift last Christmas!"

Ben stared blankly back at his brother, "You got me a black market Arsenal hoodie that said 'Assenal' on it and still had the price tag on it." 

"And it was the best gift you've ever received, I'm sure." 

Throwing his arms up in annoyance, Ben's gaze drifted over the shelves before stopping on (Y/N) as she bent over to grab a candle from the bottom shelf. 

The snap of Michael's fingers in front of his face pulled him out of the daze he had slipped into it.

"Who’re you drooling over, mate? You know you need to let me have first crack at her-" Michael's sentence died on his lips as he saw the woman Ben had been oogling. 

"Oh no-"

"Look, I-"

"Are you serious?"

"I know she's your best friend but-"

"Right and you better bloody stay away from her!"

"You could have warned me she was beautiful!"

Michael dropped his head into his hands as Ben shifted from foot to foot, "Seriously Mikey, this won't go anywhere if you don't want it too. I'll respect your boundaries but-"

"No, I should have seen this coming," Michael sighed as he lifted his head up, gazing over at (Y/N) as she strolled further away from them, holding at least four candles, "I think, honestly, that's why I didn't tell you." 

Ben stiffened at the hoarseness in his brother's voice.

"(Y/N)'s one of my best friends, and she's practically Mum's daughter and I always figured you'd fancy her whenever you met her so..." he threw his hands up to signify the futility of that exercise, "just...really think about this before you fuck up a really good thing." Michael muttered as he shoved his hands in his pockets. 

"Hey. Mike. Seriously, I'm sorry. I need you to know that if I do decide to go after (Y/N) it won't be for just a casual hook up, okay? It'll be because I care about her like you and Mum do. Promise." 

Michael nodded as he sniffled, "Cool. Thanks, man. Anyway."

"Yeah, uh, who else do you need presents for?" Ben cleared his throat as he tried to dislodge the emotion that had gotten stuck there. 

"Really, just (Y/N)." Michael nodded to the general direction of where she'd gone.

"Well, don't get her any candles." 

Michael shot him a weird look and Ben shook his head, "Don't worry about it." 

~

"Guys, c'mon, my feet are killing me and I'm starting to get hangry. I need food. Or caffeine. Or sugar. Or, ideally, all three." 

Michael threw an arm around her shoulder and Ben tried to ignore the stab of jealousy he felt at the casual closeness they had. 

"There's a Starbucks straight ahead, why don't you get something there and Ben and I will check out this last store, okay?" He pressed a kiss to her cheek as she peeled off toward Starbucks.

The knot in Ben's stomach got bigger. 

"What store are we going to? I swear we've been to 50 stores and you still haven't found anything that (Y/N) would like."

"It's one of her favorite stores. She loves it." 

"You've said that at the past five stores, man.” 

"But this time I mean it." Michael said with renewed verve as he struck up a quicker pace toward the shop. 

The sigh that left Ben's lips could have blown out all the candles (Y/N) had bought at the first shop.

Stepping inside the store though, Ben could see why this would be her favorite.

Books with ornate dust jackets covered every reclaimed wood table. Plants and fresh flowers bloomed from every corner that wasn't filled with crystals, tarot decks or notebooks. There were vintage clothes dripping from racks around the perimeter of the boutique. Jewelry with signage describing which local artist had crafted it. A corner with vinyl records stacked in a case that went to the ceiling with a ladder to browse at the very top. 

Ben hadn't known (Y/N) for very long but when he stepped into this store, he was surprised he didn't see her pouring over the vinyl and calling excitedly to them about a particularly exciting find. 

Looking around, he spotted Michael pawing through some of the clothes and figured he better intervene before he bought something everyone would regret. 

"Do you think she'd like this?"

"Yeah if she wanted to look like Nana's drapes."

Michael made a disparaging noise in the back of his throat as he shoved the dress back on the rack, "Dammit. God. Why am I so bad at this." 

Ben shrugged and moved deeper into the store, veering towards the bookshelves. (Y/N) had mentioned in their conversation that her apartment was covered in books, who doesn’t love a new book? he thought. 

Crouching down, he ran his finger over the spines of some of the books. Taking in their titles, swaying to the jazz playing softly over the speakers his finger stopped on a book of poetry. 

Golden read the gold inlay on the spine, a tiny sun at the bottom. Ben pulled it out, flipping the book over to see who the author was and realizing it was a compilation of local authors poetry.

"That's a wonderful book."

Ben jumped at the shop assistant's voice.

"Sorry! I didn't mean to scare you! I just, I saw you and your brother browsing and I figured I'd see if you needed help with anything." 

"He looks that lost, huh?"

"Well," her eyes traveled to the ceiling to find the right words, "he was looking at a diary where you can track your period so..."

"Jesus" Ben hissed as the shop girl laughed. 

"It's okay, I told him to try a necklace or a pair of earrings instead."

"God you're a saint, thank you." 

"No problem. Didn't want his girlfriend to hate him forever!" the laugh Ben let out felt hollow. His heart constricted at the idea of (Y/N) being Michael's girlfriend and not his. 

"So, uh, this then," Ben held up the book of poetry, "you said it was good?" 

"Oh absolutely. It's one of our best sellers. One of the writers, she's one of our most popular jewelry creators too. She made a necklace to go with the book actually..."  her voice trailed off as she ventured back to the front of the store. 

Ben followed closely behind, stopping as she bent over a display rack of jewelry, finger dancing over the delicate chains till she found the one she wanted. 

Turning, holding out her finger, a whisper thin gold chain fell down to where a delicate ring with swirls resembling the sun dangled.

"Do you think she'd like it?" 

Ben felt himself nodding before he even realized it. All he could see then was the chain sitting around (Y/N)'s neck and the charm hitting her chest as she looked up at him, eyes sparkling. 

"Can you gift wrap it?"

Smiling, the shopgirl nodded and went to the register. As Ben watched her box and wrap the necklace, he felt Michael's hand land on his shoulder. 

"I still have no idea what to get her. This is impossible, mate." Michael sighed as his eyes roved over the counter. 

"Wait a tic, what's that?" pointing an accusatory finger at the necklace and book, Ben felt himself tense.

"Well, it's a book of poetry and a necklace to go with it-"

"You wanker! That's perfect! How much is it?" Michael's wallet was out and buying the set before Ben could even stop it.

"Hey, whoa. C'mon man, that was going to be my present for (Y/N)." 

Ben could see the shopkeep girls eyes widen and figured she thought she was in the middle of a love triangle between two brothers. 

Michael scoffed, "You just met her, how do you know she'll love it?"

Ben struggled to come up with a retort as Michael nodded decisively, "That's what I thought." 

Feeling helpless, Ben wandered out of the shop to get away from his brother before he strangled him for being so dense. 

"Oy!" Ben turned at the sound of Michael's voice, "Don't pout. I'm a great brother and picked up a candle for you to give her so you don't look like a total tosser." 

Rolling his eyes, Ben turned and stalked toward the coffee shop as Michael's snickers followed behind him. 

~

The tap at the doorframe caused (Y/N) to look up from her book, smiling as Angela poked her head into the room. 

"Sorry love, didn't want to bother you but I got a gingerbread house going and I have to pop out to finish some Christmas shopping. Would you mind finishing it up for me?" 

Smiling and nodding, she placed her bookmark in her book and pushed her sweater sleeves up, "Sure. Did Michael also give up?" 

"No, he's actually out with some friends. Ben's taken over for now but figured he could use reinforcements." 

Angela's tone was casual but (Y/N)'s eyes snapped to her anyway, trying to figure out if she had planned this with a mother's intuition or if she just didn't want her eldest to be alone. 

Either way, she appreciated getting more one on one time with Ben. 

As she made her way down the stairs, she felt Angela's cool palm catch her elbow right before she hit the landing, "Love..." the tone of her voice made (Y/N) stop and turn, "I'm so happy you and Michael are close and I know you two are friends but...I would be remiss if I didn't mention that I think there may be something...extra with you and Ben." 

Her stomach clenched and all of a sudden she found it difficult to look directly at Angela.

"I know it's none of my business and I would never pry or try to tell you how to live your life, much," she modified her statement at (Y/N)'s raised eyebrow.

"But...I really wouldn't mind if maybe one day you were really my daughter." 

The lump in (Y/N)'s throat made a response impossible so she just nodded and Angela smiled wanly. Bringing a hand up to rest on her cheek, Angela's eyes were watery. 

"Right," Angela cleared her throat and moved past (Y/N) on the stairs, "I'm counting on you to make that gingerbread house not look like a disaster!" She called over her shoulder.

Sniffing, (Y/N) swiped a finger under her eye, catching the moisture that had fallen. Shaking her head, she moved down the stairs and pushed open the kitchen door only to be met by a wall of sound. 

THAT'S THE JINGLE BELL ROCK!

Ben's voice was hilariously off key, the Santa hat on his head askew and flour covered his face. 

Which dropped comically as he moved to the back of the gingerbread of the house and his eyes met (Y/N)'s.

Her mouth was moving but Ben couldn't understand what she was saying. Fumbling in the pocket of his joggers, he pulled out his phone and hit pause. 

"-Mean Girls dance?" 

"Are you asking me to learn the Mean Girls dance to this song with you?" 

"What makes you think I don't already know that dance by heart?" She cocked an eyebrow, moving closer to inspect the house from all angles. 

Ben's hands immediately became sweaty as (Y/N) got closer to him, eyes squinted as she scrutinized the work he'd done so far. 

"Went for a classic look I see." 

"Well, you know what they say, if it ain't broke and all that."

Nodding, (Y/N) turned to face him, eyes lighting up as she took in the streaks of flour all over him.

"You managed to get flour in your eyebrow. And on your cheek and...wait...you have frosting..."

Her voice trailed off and Ben's breath caught in his throat as her hand came up to gently swipe a bit of frosting from underneath his eye.

Her palm cupped his cheekbone and she wasn't even thinking when she gently stroked it with her thumb. The sigh that escaped Ben was involuntary and caused (Y/N)'s lips to quirk up slightly. 

"Did you get it?" the words left Ben's mouth in a wisp and (Y/N) found herself leaning forward to catch what he had said. 

"I think so, yeah." She whispered back, not making any move to remove her hand from his face, thumb still gently stroking his cheekbone, letting her eyes get lost in his. 

Suddenly feeling like his legs wouldn't support him, Ben put a hand down on the table and that's when a loud clang caused them to jump apart. 

Slapping a hand over her heart, Ben looked embarrassed as he bent down and brandished the decorating knife that had fallen to the floor. 

"God that scared me. Are you okay? Did you cut your hand?" Ben chuckled and showed (Y/N) the fronts and backs of his hands. 

"Clean, not a scratch on me." 

There were a few seconds of silence as (Y/N)'s eyes traveled all over his hands. Ben cleared his throat and (Y/N)'s eyes widened as they snapped up to meet his. 

"Sorry, I, uh, got distracted." 

No need for Ben to know she was distracted thinking about his hands wrapped around her throat. 

"Well, now that we've got the harrowing death by kitchen utensil out of the way, did my Mum send you in here to help me decorate?" 

"She did. Apparently she doesn't trust her own son to be responsible with decorating a home for cookies." 

"She barely trusts me to take care of myself I don't know why this would be any different." 

Every laugh Ben managed to pull from (Y/N)'s lips felt like a victory to him. 

"Well, put the tunes back on Hardy and is there another Santa hat I can wear? I feel severely underdressed for the occasion." 

Smirking, Ben held up a finger as he pulled a plastic bin from underneath the kitchen table. 

"Mum brought this out and I think I spotted something in here earlier that I think would suit you much better than a Santa hat. Close your eyes." 

Making a big production of closing her eyes and covering them with her hands, she heard items being moved then the creak of the floor as Ben drew closer.

His body felt warm as he stood in front of her and slowly slide a headband onto her head, making sure to not ruin her hair. He smelled like sugar and spices and she was overwhelmed with the urge to lick his neck. 

"Alright, open your eyes." 

She did, blinking at Ben as he bit his lips, trying to keep from laughing. "It really suits you I think." 

Looking wildly from side to side to find a mirror, Ben pulled out his phone and turned his camera on, "Here, let's take a picture. Then you can really see how amazing you look."

(Y/N) leaned into Ben and he tried to ignore the voice in his head telling him to kiss her cheek. 

"BEN!" She could barely say his name as giggles overtook her. The headband with light up Christmas bulbs in danger of falling off as she bent over with laughter. 

Ben couldn't help but laugh with her. Her laugh was infectious, he wanted to be the one to make her laugh for the rest of her life. 

"I don't understand why you're laughing, this is a very serious matter." He wheezed out as (Y/N) straightened up, trying to take a deep breath in. "Okay, okay, whew, alright. I'm ready for this picture." She waved her hands in front of her face as she did her best to stop laughing. 

"Ready? 3, 2, 1" Ben counted down and as he pulled the picture up so they could look at it he didn't think he'd seen anything more beautiful.

(Y/N) was mid laugh, Ben's eyes were twinkling as he leaned into her. Their respective headgear askew, flour and icing all over their faces. 

"Is that our Christmas card?" (Y/N) joked as she wandered back over to the table with the decorations, picking up a piping bag full of icing and wielding it with an expert precision. 

"Yeah, it can say 'Our First Christmas'" Ben replied, taking one last look at it and hoping that maybe one year, they really could get Christmas cards together. 

~

Christmas Day dawned bright and early.

It had snowed last night and Ben and (Y/N) had delighted in locking Michael out in the snow when he'd run outside to make a snow angel in nothing but his boxers.  

Waking up to an incessant banging on her door, (Y/N) let out a groan as she stuck her head out of the cocoon she'd made of her blankets only to be met by Michael throwing a pillow at her face.

"MMPH"

"Wake up! it's time to be holly and jolly and all that bullshit!" 

Ben's laugh made her perk up a little and sit up farther in bed, "I'd be a lot more holly and jolly if you wouldn't throw pillows in my face." 

"She's got a point." 

"I hate when you take her side Benjamin. What happened to brotherly love?" 

"Oh that went out the door years ago." 

Michael's reply was drowned out by her and Ben's laughter. 

Throwing the pillow back to him, she and Ben smiled at each other as Michael caught the pillow and disappeared down the hall. 

"Merry Christmas." Ben said as he leaned up against her doorframe. 

"Merry Christmas" she replied, swinging her legs down over the bed frame, letting them dangle off the side. 

Swallowing thickly, Ben had to tear his eyes from her legs, shaking the image of her legs intertwined with his from his brain. 

"So, has Angela been up since five making breakfast?" (Y/N) said through a yawn, stretching and not realizing the turmoil that was causing Ben as he watched her body unfold before him like a flower. 

"Uh...yeah. Yes. Most likely. She loves a hearty Christmas breakfast." he murmured as (Y/N) finally stood up and out of bed. 

"Well, yeah. Who doesn't?" She remarked as she hunted down her sweatshirt and pulled it on over her t-shirt. 

He let out a breathy laugh as he did his best to get the swelling of his cock under control. 

(Y/N) finally let herself look at Ben fully as she pulled the sweatshirt over her head and felt her lower half growing warm. 

Alarm bells were ringing in her head and the only thought going through her head at the moment was GRAY SWEATPANTS!!!!!

Gray sweatpants and a loose t-shirt with a low v-neck that had her thinking how easily she could have teared it in half. 

They would have stood there, devouring each other with their gaze, the sexual tension getting so thick they were drowning in it, if Michael hadn't called up the stairs calling them prats to break the tension.

~

"Well! Seeing as how we're all so full we can barely move, do we want to open presents?" 

Angela had barely finished that sentence when Michale had disappeared through the dining room doorway, yelling over his shoulder "C'mon! I want to see if I got the new FIFA." 

Laughing at Angela rolling her eyes, (Y/N) stood up as Ben did the same, smirking at his family. 

"My lady" Ben cracked as he and (Y/N) reached the door at the same time. 

"Thank you, sir." Dropping into a curtsey, Ben raised an eyebrow.

"You're surprisingly good at that." 

"Learned from the Queen myself." 

"You know the Queen?" 

"I'm the secret princess actually."

"Might have to start calling you 'princess' then." 

(Y/N)'s stomach clenched at the thought of him calling her princess in his deep voice. Keeping her eyes down, she let out an airy laugh, hoping to sound unaffected. 

If she'd looked up and seen how sincere Ben's eyes were, there would have been no doubt in her mind that he was being 100% serious about the new nickname. 

As they made their way into the living room, Angela settling into her chair and Michael sprawled on the couch, Ben suddenly felt nervous. 

He hoped (Y/N) liked his present. He'd felt resentful toward Michael as he wrapped the candle. He knew this was a fine gift for someone he'd literally met just a few days ago but he couldn't help being disgruntled that Michael had swooped in and stolen such a perfect gift from him. 

Swatting Michael's feet off the couch he settled in as (Y/N) crouched next to the tree, "Can I hand people presents? That's how we did it at my home, if that's okay." She ducked her head, cheeks growing pink at appearing sentimental. Ben didn't realize he was smiling at her until he caught his mum appraising him. 

Running a hand through his hair, he shifted in place as Michael yelled, "OI. Where're my gifts?"

"Hmm, I'm looking but I don't see any gifts for you...why...it looks like these are all for me!"

"Fuck off-"

"Michael!"

"Sorry mum. Frick off, I see one with my name on it right there." Pointing emphatically, Ben smacked his hand out of his face. 

Snickering, (Y/N) scooted over to grab the present and threw it at Michael. 

From there, it was all a blur of wrapping paper, bows flying and exclamations of surprise and delight. 

Ben was busy reading the inside flap of the novel his mum had gotten him when he heard Michael's voice cut through his reverie, 

"Here. (Y/N). I got this one for you."

"Aww, Michael. You shouldn't have." 

"Yeah, well, don't say that till you've opened it, dear." 

"Mum!"

Forcing a laugh that sounded hollow even to him, Ben sat there, staring lazers at the box in (Y/N)'s hands. 

It, funnily enough, was shaped like the box the candle came in. 

It even had the same wrapping paper he'd used. 

Ben hardly breathed as the wrapping paper fell away and the candle he'd wrapped just last night was revealed. 

"Aww, Michael! Thank you so much. I love it." She smiled at him as she uncapped it and sniffed it. 

Bolting up, Ben murmured something about getting more coffee and stumbled out of the living room. 

Gripping the sink, he could barely believe what he'd just witnessed. 

He didn't even want to believe it meant what he thought it meant. 

"Hey."

Head jerking up, he didn't even notice the present in Michael's hand until he thrust it forward.

"Give it to her. You had dibs on it anyway." 

Ben's jaw dropped, "Is-are you actually doing something decent for once in your life?" 

"Shut the fuck up, man. I see how you look at her. There's no way you don't not have legitimate feelings for her."

Struggling for a quick response, he could only manage a half hearted grunt as Michael emphatically shoved the present closer to him. 

"Go on. Take it. She's gonna love it and it'll mean way more coming from you than me I bet." 

Gently taking it from Michael, he had no words. Looking up, he pulled Michael into a hug. 

"Oh. Alright. Guess this is what we're doing." 

Letting him go, Ben sniffed, rolling his shoulders back, "Right. Okay. Thanks for this man." 

"Yeah. Just...don't hug me again." 

"No promises." 

"Figured." Michael was almost out of the kitchen when he stopped and turned back to Ben, "Also. My room is right next to yours. If I hear any noises that even sound remotely like sex-" 

"Oh my god, dude."

"I'm just saying! Jesus isn't the only one watching you sin and judging you for it." 

Ben could only stare incredulously at Michael's back as he contemplated how his brother could do something so sweet but ruin it all in the same moment. 

~

They had just finished dinner and Ben still hadn't found the perfect time to give (Y/N) her present. 

Every time he thought he could get her in a moment alone, someone walked into the room or the timing seemed wrong. 

He knew he'd have to act soon but the right moment had yet to present itself and he was getting anxious. 

It also didn't help that Michael kept texting him asking if he'd given the gift to (Y/N) yet. 

So, yeah. No pressure. 

"Oof. I feel like all I've done today is eat." 

"How is that different than any other day though?" 

Throwing a Christmas Cracker at Michael, (Y/N) laughed. 

"You don't need to expose me like this." 

Ben watched their interaction with jealously. He wished he could just give her the present now but he wanted it to be perfect. 

Pushing back from the table, (Y/N) stood up and stretched, "Well. I'm going to go for a walk. Does anyone want to come with?" 

Ben's eyes lit up and he sprang out of his chair. Before he could say anything, Michael was rising as well, opening his mouth.

Getting ready to body check his brother into next week for ruining this moment, Angela stepped in. 

"Michael. You haven't done any of the cleaning up this week. You're staying here and helping me wash up."

(Y/N) almost missed the wink Angela shot her as she and Ben were left in the dining room as Michael's protests grew quieter. 

"Shall we?"

"My lady." 

Smiling, she stepped into the foyer. Her and Ben making idle chit chat as they bundled up against the cold. 

Stepping out into the night, the clouds were heavy with snow. Taking a deep breath in, she sighed out, enjoying the look of her breath appearing in a fog before her.

"Smells like snow."

"Snow has a smell?"

"Yeah, it...I don't know how to describe it. It just smells fresh and new." 

They walked on in silence for a bit. (Y/N) was tempted to ask why he hadn't gotten her a gift for Christmas. She had gotten him the pair of rounded sunglasses he'd admired in the shop window for Christmas and she had just met the man.

Feeling pressure on her elbow, she stopped. 

"Come with me." 

Following after Ben, not minding that his hand was still on her elbow guiding her, she wondered where they were going. 

Feeling bold (with the help of the generous portions of wine Angela had served at dinner), and figuring it must have been uncomfortable for Ben to lead her by the elbow, she gently untangled her arm from his. 

Smiling at Ben's furrowed brows she slide her hand into his. 

"Figured this would be easier than holding my elbow." 

Fighting the smile breaking over his face, and failing miserably, Ben stared ahead. Butterflies erupting in his stomach at the feel of her hand in his. 

"Where are we even going?" 

"Oh. Yeah. I should have thought of that. Not really smart of me, huh."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I mean, I'm not a bad guy but still. We don't really know each other and it's dark. I know some women might be nervous in these circumstances."

Trying to quite the Women's Studies major screaming in her head about his "wokeness", she gave his hand a squeeze.

"I don't know. Just feel like I've known you for much longer than we actually have." 

"I feel the same way." 

(Y/N) thought she had imagined him saying that, his voice was so low but with how his cheeks pinkened, she figured she hadn't imagined it. 

Pulling her up short, he pulled them toward a bench. Two trees bending over it, branches intertwining like lovers fingers creating a canopy. 

Sitting down he put his hands in his coat pocket where (Y/N) thought she heard gift wrap crinkling. 

"So."

"So." She said, tilting her head back to stare at the clouds. Ben took this time to admire her profile. 

"Why here?"

"Just wait. It'll be worth it."

Shrugging, she turned her face down to look right at Ben. 

"Think it's going to start snowing soon." 

Huffing a breath, Ben turned his body to face her more fully. 

"Listen. What you said earlier about it feeling like we've known each other for forever, I genuinely feel like I've known you for a long time. And...I got you a Christmas present."

Ben shook his head as (Y/N)'s face melted into a bemused expression. 

"This isn't coming out right but-" he rubbed a hand over his face and (Y/N) watched as his shoulders melted and when he lifted his head out of his hand, she knew he'd made a decision.

"I like you. A lot. And I know you've known my family for a while and my brother's your best friend and my mum's your second mum but. Fuck. I just. I really like you and ever since I saw you I thought you were gorgeous but then we talked and you were funny and so smart and," 

He sucked in a huge breath as (Y/N)'s head kept spinning with what he’d just revealed to her. 

"That's why I got you this and I wanted to give it to you at the perfect moment so. Merry Christmas."

He shoved the present towards (Y/N) who just barely grabbed it before it rammed into her stomach. 

"Wha-. Ben. I-" 

She stopped as Ben frantically shook his head, 

"Please just open the present before you give me an answer," his eyes widened at how that could have come across, "Not like, I want that to change your mind but. I don't know. Just. Please open it."

(Y/N) nodded. Looking down at her hands and letting out a breath she hadn’t even realized she was holding.  

Ben noticed how her hands quivered as she pulled the ribbon off. His eyes stayed locked on her hands. He couldn't stand to look at her face until he heard her gasp. 

Eyes trailing up to meet her face, his whole body melted. 

One hand over her mouth, her eyes were watering at the necklace. 

"Ben...it's beautiful. I. I don't know what to say." She let out a watery laugh as Ben leaned toward her, 

"There’s another thing in there. It goes with the necklace." 

Sniffing, she picked up the book underneath the necklace and let out a peal of laughter. 

'You remembered!" 

"Of course. You said you needed more books of poetry to really be a pretentious ass." 

"God. This is amazing. But these actually look like amazing poems." She consented as she quickly flipped through the pages. 

Shaking herself before getting too sucked into the book, she blinked her eyes up at Ben. 

"Will you put this on for me?" Brandishing the sun necklace between them. 

Nodding, Ben took it with shaking hands.

 Turning, she moved her hair out of the way, and tried not to gasp as Ben's fingertips grazed the back of her neck. 

"Okay. It's on." he whispered. 

Turning back around she locked eyes with him. Realizing they were still very close to each other. 

"How does it look?" 

Swallowing thickly, Ben leaned closer.

"It looks amazing." 

"Good." She whispered against his lips and Ben's only reply was to press his lips to hers. 

Grabbing his arms, she moaned at the muscle’s flexing underneath her fingertips. Ben wrapped his arms around her waist. He tried to pull her closer and cursed their layers. 

(Y/N) would have stayed entwined in Ben's embrace all night if a brilliant flash hadn't erupted around them. 

Pulling back in surprise, she was met with the sight of every tree in the park covered with a thousand tiny lights.  

Gasping, she barely registered Ben laughing at the delighted look that crossed over her face. 

As her eyes drank in the sight around her, Ben couldn't help but admire the way the lights were reflected in her eyes. 

"What is this?"

"It's a park I discovered one year when I was walking alone.  They do this every year from the first of December to New Year's Eve. I haven't told anyone about it. I wanted to share it with someone who was really special to me." 

Ben didn't know which was shining brighter. The lights on the trees or (Y/N)'s eyes.

"I really like you too." 

"Yeah?" 

Nodding emphatically, (Y/N) snaked her arms around his neck. "Since the moment I laid eyes on you really." 

"Hmm. Seems like someone is stealing my lines." 

"It sounds better coming from my mouth though." 

"I bet a lot of things sound better coming from your mouth. Princess." Ben growled before claiming her lips as his.

Moaning, (Y/N) had to stop herself from straddling Ben then and there. 

Breaking apart from Ben's lips was the toughest thing she'd ever had to do. 

"My apartment's not far from here actually."

"Yeah?" 

"Come with me." 

Smiling at how she turned his own command on him, Ben grabbed her hand and together they ran through the cold toward the bright lights of (Y/N)'s cozy apartment. 

~

Waking up the next morning, (Y/N) was briefly confused by the brief weight around her torso.

When she felt the steady rise and fall of Ben's chest, she sank back into him as memories of last night flooded through her, causing her to press her thighs together to stave off the wanting that had appeared again. 

Hearing her phone vibrate, she carefully reached an arm out to make sure Angela hadn't called a search party on them.

Ben texted me. Angela's fine but I had to talk her down from subscribing to wedding magazines. x 

Snorting, she shot a heart emoji to Michael as she felt Ben's lips press into her shoulder. 

"Morning, princess." 

Moaning, she turned to face him. "Your morning voice is the hottest thing in the world." 

"Yeah?" he cocked an eyebrow as (Y/N) nodded.

Ben took a moment to consider it. 

"Then you clearly haven't seen yourself first thing in the morning wearing only that necklace."

Shivering at Ben's finger pressing the charm into her skin, she smiled. 

"Figured you'd like that."

"Like it? I love it." 

Smiling, she burrowed further into his chest and said through a yawn, "Will you read a poem to me?" 

"Of course, darling." Planting a kiss on her head, Ben reached over to grab the book of poetry from the bedside table. They'd fallen asleep after reading each other poems from it last night. 

Paging through it, Ben stopped when he found the perfect one:

Light. 

Sun. 

Gold. 

Your Smile. 

Your 

Heart

Your love.

Your love for me. 

All golden. 

They spent the rest of the day alternating between the bed, the kitchen and a walk back to the park with the lights where they promised to each other to return back to it every Christmas Day.

[bonbonbun-luna]

Cool! Can you do a crossover/AU where Marinette a Youtuber, by secret, like just a hobby/second job. But know one knows it hurt since she never show her face since she wears a mask and such. Became friends with many Youtubers, even Markiplier and Game Grumps even argues about adopting her. Then get worried about their “little bug” and learned about some not happy things with about the school, a video of Chat being well not cool and the lies of this liar...Team Miraculous YouTubers!

I hope you gonna like it! This is non-magical AU and I don’t really watch the american youtube(Maybe only Pewds), but if you like it, I’ll write the second part where Marinette will interact with them! Send me more requests guys (ฅ･ิω･ิฅ)

Marinette sighed in disappointment, looking at the trending tab.

The video «Ladybug and I are soulmates» has gained over ten million views and an incredible amount of likes over the past six hours. Reading the comments in which the loyal fans of Chat Noir called her a blind idiot, Mari could hardly hold back her tears.

This has been going on for two years already.

She started making videos three years ago, hiding her true identity with a mask, lenses and a nickname. This should never have become a big deal, but a month after the first video, which somehow magically gained 400,000 views(Mari was sure that her uncle Jagged Stone was involved in this), Netty decided to make another one, finally buying new equipment and completely hiding her room so that no one could recognize it.

Parents watched her with interest, quietly supporting and sincerely rejoicing in their daughter's new ineres.

Sabina couldn't stop smiling, thinking that this year was the best for her baby girl. Her precious daughter finally made friends, scared off her bully, met many celebrities, fell in love and even found a new hobby. Tom cautiously touched all the equipment Marinette bought, being afraid to break something with his big hands.

Blunette ran excitedly, trying to cover the bright pink walls with a peach-colored material. The installation of the camera was difficult for the girl, but she managed, from time to time hissing viciously at interested parents scurrying around her room. When everything was ready, the Netty started the video in dismay, awkwardly waving her hand.

In her hands bluenette held a recently sewn dress, nervously touching the voluminous petticoat. Each time the light hit the skirt, viewers could notice a pattern in the form of birds surrounded by flowers.

Trying to smile boldly, Mari introduced herself as Ladybug and told that she was holding a costume for Clara Nightingale last performance. Gradually, Marinette became more confident, because she finally could talk about what she likes, forgetting about her worries. Smiling proudly, Netty brought the camera closer to the pattern, talking about how she had spent weeks embroidering it. Giggling, she showed fingers injured by a needle and admitted that she was sincerely proud of what she got in result. At the end of the video, she put on a dress on a mannequin and showed every detail, describing the work on it. Standing behind the camera, Netty wished everyone a good evening and shouted «Bugout!», finishing the video.

With the help of her clients, who actively talked about their favorite designer, and Clara Nightingale, who admitted that she wanted to give Marinette the main role in her clip, the video instantly gained a million views, causing the whole school to buzz with delight, and asking her fans(God, she had fans!!!) to make a new video.

It was stupid, but Marinette squealed almost a few hours in a row, excitedly jumping around the room. Sabina and Tom, selling pastries below, actively distracted frightened customers. Awareness of how happy their daughter was, warmed the hearts of loving parents and they couldn't stop smiling.

The realization that she was a celebrity came to Mari only when her best friend Alya started a blog about her, trying to reveal her true identity. After an attempt to credibly rejoice over Cesaire, the embarrassed but determined Netty set about writing the script and release dates for the commercials. It took her almost two weeks, but it was worth it, because at the end she had a normalized schedule and she finally clearly knew what she was going to talk about.

The third Marinette's video, in which she showed and described in detail the work on the cover of the album of Jagedd Stone, attracted the attention of the famous youtuber Chat Noir. The playfully grinning blond admitted in one of his videos that he was beginning to hate his popularity and it was the inspirational speeches of the little seamstress that made him stay. In the end, he winked flirtingly, asking the girl for an autograph. A few hours after the release of his video several thousand grateful fans signed up on her channel, and all the comments yelled that she was their savior. Smiling like an idiot, she tried to answer everyone, quietly rejoicing that she was able to help someone. The number of her subscribers rapidly increased to 800,000 and she couldn't stop excitedly rushing to the phone with every notification.

At one such happy moment instead of another comment she saw a message from Chat Noir. Blushing and goosebumps, she read about how he would like to work with her, and girl couldn't stop giggling. Trying to hold the phone with trembling hands, she quickly agreed, screeching into the pillow from shock. If she only knew back then what exactly would bring this to her...

Two weeks later they first met each other. The guy smiled playfully when he saw Ladybug, and instead of shaking hands he kissed her hand. Instinctively, the girl pushed him away and shook her head.

«Borders, kitty, borders».

Chat Noir laughed and invited her inside his studio. During the video recording, the young man actively flirted and involuntarily Marinette freed herself and began to respond to flirt. The blonde seemed to her as a long-drawn-out friend and she felt absolutely free with him. Needless to say, the video has become damn popular, forcing fans to wonder if they was dating.

The bluenette immediately began to deny everything, saying that this was their first meeting and they were just acquaintances, to which she received a promise from Chat Noir that he would soon become her boyfriend. Back then Marinette ignored this comment, dismissing it as a silly joke, but now she could not help but regret it.

The girl rubbed her eyes tiredly, looking displeased at the time. The clock showed that there were four hours left before school and Netty couldn't help but regret that she had not gone to bed earlier. She was sure that at school she would face another batch of charges, and therefore sighed wearily.

Eight months ago Lila Rossi came to school. She was an obsessive liar, actively manipulating everyone she met. On the very first day, she began to claim that she was Ladybug's best friend, confidentially reporting that she had introduced the youtuber to Jagged Stone. Smiling brazenly, she said that half of the costume ideas belonged to her. Boiling with anger, Marinette tried to tell everyone about her lies, but her classmates was instantly turned on, calling her a bully.

Now, when the school was a clan by the board of this cunning fox, who took control of even the principal Mr. Damocles, it was almost impossible for a bluenette to study. Every day was like a bad drama when she was accused of every crime that could be.

Sometimes, when Marinette was tired, she began to talk about her problems with her friends from youtube.

«It's almost impossible, 'ya know. When I go to school I am among idiots with one brain cell, and when I record a video, I endure the harassment of this moron Noir. Who am I now, a Wonder Woman?»

She never noticed the worried glances that threw at her, so she had no idea that soon there was a surprise waiting for her.

In the afternoon, trying to endure the ridicule of her classmates, she consoled herself with the fact that the weekend would begin very soon.

«Wow, you sigh so tiredly. Being such a bully is probably so hard», a sarcastic voice sounded nearby.

Turning her head, she noticed a gloomy Alya, who put her hands on her hips. Behind Cessarie stood scared and embarrassed Nino, and Adrian's head could be seen behind his shoulder. Seeing Mari’s resolve, Agreste shook his head in condemnation. Can't Marinette just calm down? All she needs is to become friends with Lila and then all the problems will end.

«What do you need, Alya? I'm tired and want to relax», the bluenette snorted, rolling her eyes and looking calmly at her ex-friends.

Alya angrily clapped her hands on the table, her eyes burned with a fire of justice.

«What do I need? What do YOU need from Lila? Stop bullying her! She never did to you anything bad, and you continue to cling to a good person because of your jealousy!»

Marinette grimaced, squeezing the bridge of her nose with two fingers.

«I have no idea what you're talking about, Alya! I haven’t talked with Rossi for more than three months!»

Lila, sitting at the first desk, sobbed, innocently opening her tear-stained eyes.

«Marinette, how can you lie like that! Yesterday you deleted all my contacts! How do I get in touch with my bestie, Ladybug? She recently moved to New York!»

Alya looked sadly at her friend, wanting to console her, and then turned to Netty, her eyes flashing viciously.

«I can't believe you, Dupain-Cheng! You are even worse than Chloe! How can you-», the girl’s fiery speech was interrupted by the shocked Miss Bustier, who flew into the classroom.

The woman looked around the class worryingly, and after she found out someone, who she was looking fir, her a thin, frightened voice attracted the class attention.

«Marinette, I... He... Um... There is someone at school who wants to meet you».

Immediately after the words was said, the happy Jagged Stone ran into the class. A tired Penny was trailing behind him, who noticing Mari, waved her hand.

«Netty! My beloved niece! I'm so glad to see you, dear», the man sang, jumping to the end of the class in an instant.

A pale Lila stood next to him, trying to hide, but she was stopped by Alya, who grabbed the girl by the hand. Frightened, Rossi swallowed a lump in her throat.

«Jagged Stone? Excuse me, aren't you recognize Lila? She saved your kitten, remember?».

The rock star made the most astonished grimace that he was capable of, forcing Marinette to hide her face in her hands, expecting something not that good.

«She did what? The last time I saw any cats was in my grandmother's house, at least twenty years back.» The man grinned maliciously, and then, ignoring the dumbfounded faces of the children around, he again turned to the embarrassed bluenette.

«My dear designer, there are several people who would like to talk with you! They need your knowledge and talent.»

«Uncle G, I can’t, I have a school!»

Mrs. Bustier spoke again, awkwardly clearing throat.

«Actually, we got a note from your parents, Marinette. It seems you really can go»

Jagged giggled like a small kid and excitedly handed Mari into Penny's arms, who led the girl out of class, quietly apologizing and explaining the whole situation. Jagged smiled sweetly, and then looked predatoryly at the class teacher.

«By the way, haven't I mentioned that there are a few people who want to meet some more from your class?»

Kids whispered excitedly, hoping that they would be lucky one. The man smirked viciously, laying documents on the tables in front of Mrs. Bustier, Lila, Alya and Adrian. The teacher immediately picked up the sheets in her hands, reading what was written on them, and then fell into a chair, unable to stand on staggering legs. It seemed that a little more and she would faint from shock.

«What is it?», Adrian asked frowningly, frowning.

«This is a lawsuit, Mr. Agreste. For you personally, this is a lawsuit about harassment and a restraining order».

«But I did nothing wrong!», the blond guy screamed indignantly, frowning displeasedly.

«Really? But it seemed to me that when you put on a mask and start calling yourself a Chat Noir, you stop respecting woman's rights and understanding the word 'no'»

Smiling coldly at the frightened schoolchildren, Jagged left the classroom, leaving chaos and drama behind. The man didn't care, he hurried to his wife Penny and his beloved niece, Marinette.

Today will be a wonderful day.

[atlafan]

My Everything - Part Four

A Take it Slow Sequel

What happens with Harry and Y/N after he proposes? How will the two navigate the engaged life while also continuing to juggle their jobs, friends, and families? Let’s find out.

Warnings: Fluff and Smut. Small dash of angst. 

a/n: not proofread fam, I didn’t have the strength.

Masterpost

“You wanna go to Homecoming?” Sarah asks you. You and Harry went over to her and Niall’s place for lunch on Sunday.

“It seems really important to my intern that I’m there…it could be fun to check out the tailgate, we used to have fun at that.”

“Yeah, when we were plastered from starting to drink the second we woke up.” She sighs. “What about Rach?”

“I was gonna text her. I think it’ll be fun if we all go.”

“Niall?”

“Yeah?” Him and Harry were playing video games while you and Sarah were in the kitchen.

“Wanna go to Homecoming next weekend with us?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“No.”

“Alright, Homecoming it is.”

“Okay, I guess we’re in.” She smiles at you.

“What was that?” You whisper at her with a grin.

“He’s been really…not into arguing with me lately. I think he’s cracked the code that I’m more apt to fuck him if he doesn’t give me any attitude.” She whispers back.

“See, I feel like Harry wants to fuck me more when I give him attitude.”

“Y/N, Harry would fuck you in any given situation.” You both start laughing.

“Oi, not nice to whisper.” Harry says without looking at either of you.

“Can you two pause that please? Lunch is ready…” Sarah says.

“Only because yeh asked so nicely.” Niall says, saving the game. Him and Harry stand up and go into the kitchen. Niall kisses Sarah on the cheek. “Thanks for makin’ the grub girls.”

You all dig into the food.

“So, do you two have like every little thing planned yet or what?” Niall asks, jokingly.

“We actually just started to go over some stuff yesterday. Next Sunday we’re going to look at two venues down at the Cape. We were thinking a beachy, hotel vibe.”

“Ohh, I like that.” Sarah says. “That’ll be a bust weekend. Homecoming on Saturday, then taking that drive Sunday.”

“The busy season for the Cape is over, shouldn’t be any traffic. I bet we’ll get there in under an hour.”

“And we decided we’re gonna do like a small cake for us and then do cupcakes. Y/N already has an idea for a bakery.”

“Your mum should just make big batches of the dump cake.”

“Niall, I swear to god, do you just want the recipe?” You laugh.

“No, I only like it when she makes it.”

“It’s true. I asked her for it during Rosh Hashanah and I made for him, but apparently I didn’t do it right.” Sarah rolls her eyes.

“That’s so fucking rude, your girlfriend baked for you and you told her you didn’t like it?” You ask.

“Never said I didn’t like it. I said it was really good, it just wasn’t Lynn’s.” He shrugs. “You’re a very good baker, sweetie.” He smiles at her and she rolls his eyes again.

“You teach her to do that, or is that just another thing you have in common?” Harry says to you with a smirk.

“Harry, I’ve not rolled my eyes at you for a very long time. And Niall deserved it, so there.” You stick your tongue out at him.

“What is it with you and the rolling of the eyes, anyways?” Sarah asks. “Like there are worse things out there.”

“I just find it to be really disrespectful.” He shrugs.

“But I’ve seen you do it. Are you the only one allowed?” Sarah asks, crossing her arms.

“That’s right.” He smirks at her.

“Well, that’s stupid and so are you.” She smirks right back.

“Did one of your third graders teach you that comeback?” Sarah’s mouth falls open, and you can’t help but giggle. You always found it amusing when her and Harry would get under each other’s skin a little, like brother and sister.

“No, actually, it was your mother.”

Both you and Niall choke on your food. Harry’s mouth was agape, but he bursts out laughing.

“That was a good one, I have to admit, you got me, love.”

“Love playing tennis with you as always.”

You all finish up eating and go over to the couch to watch a movie. It was a rainy day so none of you minded lounging around. Buster starts to whimper when the rain falls a little harder.

“God, he must be scared of rain now.” You say. “Niall, do you mind if he sits on the couch with us? He wants to be on our laps.”

“Not at all.”

Harry whistles to Buster and pulls him up so his body is on Harry, and his head is in your lap. You both pet him to try and soothe him.

“Poor thing, how’s his leg?” Sarah asks.

“Much better. His checkup is this week.” Harry says.

“I’m hoping that same nurse isn’t working.”

“What nurse?” Niall asks.

“The nurse that was giving us all the information made me feel really embarrassed because I scolded Buster in front of her, and she goes miss…he’s a dog, but luckily Harry was there, he backed me up.”

“I would’ve been like and what about it?” Sarah says. “That’s your baby.”

“That’s exactly what I said.” Harry explains. “I’m the one takin’ him, his appointment is while you’re at work, remember?”

“Still…I don’t want her being rude to you too.”

“I don’t think she’d dare after I set her straight before.”

//

During his lunch break Monday, Harry took Buster for his checkup at the vet. The doctor was happy with his progress, and told Harry he should be just fine, and to keep taking it easy with him. Luckily, that same nurse wasn’t there.

“You did so good in there, Buster. Daddy’s gonna give yeh a treat when we get back to the studio.” Buster yips at Harry from the backseat.

Harry gets him inside the studio and grabs a treat from Isaac’s desk.

“How’d it go?” Isaac asks.

“Oh, he’ll be just fine. Sit Buster.” He complies and Harry gives him the treat. “That’s my good boy.” He pets the top of his head.

“So…apparently we’re going to Homecoming this weekend.” Mariah says to Harry.

“You don’t wanna go?”

“I don’t know, I didn’t go there…I feel like I’ll be bored.” She sighs.

“Seth and I are going too, maybe we can meet up.”

“You guys are goin’ too?”

“Yeah, I guess Seth goes every year. He was in a frat or something, so he goes to support his brothers or whatever.” He shrugs. “All I know is that I’m gonna look cute as hell in my new cardigan.” They all laugh. “I’m surprised all the girls didn’t go last year.”

“It’s not really Y/N’s thing.” Harry says. “Her intern really wants her to go so she can meet the director of alumni relations. He really wants to see her featured in their magazine, and so would I to be honest.” Harry’s phone starts to go off, it’s you. “Hey babe, what’s up?”

“How was Buster’s appointment?”

“It was really good, we just need to keep doin’ what we’re doin’ with him.”

“Okay, great. Thank you for taking him.”

“No problem.”

“Did you remember to eat?” Harry pauses. “I’ll take that as a no. Please remember to eat your lunch.”

“I will, I’ll go eat it now.”

“Okay, I gotta go. Love you!”

“Love you too.” He hangs up and sees Isaac and Mariah giggling. “Shut up.”

“Did she just have to remind you to eat?” Mariah asks.

“Can you blame her? I wouldn’t wanna come home to a hangry Harry.”

“You both are really annoying.” Harry huffs, and walks to the kitchen to grab his sandwich out of the fridge.

//

“There’s my boy!” Buster trots over to you once him and Harry are through the door. “Daddy said you did so good at the vet, I’m so proud of you.” His tail was wagging like crazy. “That’s right, you’re a very good boy.” You cup his hand in your hands and make kissy noises.

“What am I, chopped liver?”

“Blegh, I hope not, I hate chopped liver.” You giggle and go over to give him a kiss.

“Why do you know what that tastes like?” He asks, wrapping his arms around you.

“We eat it during Passover, well, I don’t. God, it’s disgusting.”

“We didn’t really do anything for Passover this year, did we?”

“No, I was in Aruba for most of it, remember?”

“Oh yeah.” He kisses your forehead and lets you go. “What do you want for dinner?”

“Hmm, how about I roast some veggies in the oven?”

“Sounds good to me.”

You and Harry prep the veggies and put whatever seasonings you like on them, along with some olive oil, and pop it in the oven.

“Wanna have rice with it?” He asks.

“Sure.” You shrug. “We can just make that one minute stuff when everything’s done in the oven.” You both sit down at the island.

“Isaac told him and Seth are going to Homecoming too…”

“Oh? That’s nice.”

“Seth didn’t tell you?” Harrys asks out of shock.

“No.” You shrug. “We don’t talk every day you know?”

“Thought you did.”

“Maybe when we first started talking again. We’re both very busy people. He’s probably going to hang with his old frat brothers.” You make a disgusted noise. “That was the most annoying thing about him, when he joined that frat. Although, that is how he got the best room in the apartment he was in senior year. He had his own bathroom and everything.”

“M’sure that was convenient for the two of you.” He says facetiously and you nudge his shoulder. “Teasing.” He says softly.

“Mhm.” You roll your eyes. “Anyways, seems like the whole gang’ll be there. I’ll have to pull out one of my old sweatshirts to show some school spirit.”

“The three of you walking in are gonna look like a gang.” Harry laughs. “M’surprised you weren’t in a sorority.”

“We might as well been our own little sorority. Do you wanna see a funny video from Homecoming our senior year? I was going through some of my old instas the other day and it made me laugh.”

“Sure.”

He leans in as you scroll to find the video. You were all outside day drinking, having a good time. Someone yells to you to dance a little, and you look around and pop your ass a couple times and then go back to doing what you were doing. You burst out laughing when it ends.

“You look absolutely faded.” Harry chuckles.

“We had started drinking so early, and we just kept going to keep a steady buzz. Anytime it was remotely nice out, Seth would have a party at his apartment and we’d all just gather outside on the lawn. It was so much fun.”

“We did similar stuff. There was really nothing better than sitting outside on a nice day and just getting hammered.”

“Mhm.”

“You were, uh, really thin back then.” He rubs the back of his neck.

“Oh, I know…I did not look as good as I thought. I think I only ate like one meal a day back then, it was so bad.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know exactly, maybe I wasn’t hungry, or maybe that’s just the life of a college student. I was going to the gym a lot too to run, so between that and barely eating…it wasn’t healthy at all. Clearly I wised up.”

“Yeah, I was sorta thin when I was in college too. I feel like I didn’t put any muscle on until after I graduated. I don’t think I was gettin’ enough protein.”

“That was probably part of my problem too.”

“Well, I’d love you know matter what you look like, I hope you know that.”

“Thank you.” You kiss him and hop down from your stool. “I’m gonna go put some sweats on.”

“Alright.” He watches you walk out.

He meant what he said, he really would love you no matter what. He loved the little dimples in your back, and the way he could grip onto your love handles when you were making love. He liked when you would grip onto his too.

You both enjoy your meal of veggies and rice, and after dinner Harry takes Buster for a walk so you can get some homework done. Harry reads from his book when he gets back to not distract you from your studies. When you finish you sigh and close your laptop, setting it down on the coffee table.

“What is it, baby?”

“Nothing, this professor is just giving us busy work. It’s pretty un-motivating.”

“Well, it’s done now right?”

“The first half of things yeah. I have to respond to a couple of people in a few days. My advisor seems to think I should finish over the summer, like August, so I’ll be able to walk in commencement in May if I want, but I probably won’t.”

“And why not?”

“Because I wouldn’t actually be done during it, it would be like a false congratulations.”

“I don’t think so at all. I think you should be celebrated for the work you’d already gotten done, so what if you’d still have a couple of classes to finish up afterwards?”

“Harry it would just be another weekend used up for something when we could be doing something else.”

“Well, I would very much like to celebrate you, so would you at least think about it?”

“Okay. I don’t have to decide until February anyways, that’s when the form is due.”

//

You were able to find one of your old college sweat shirts, so you throw that on with some cuffed jeans and a pair of tennis shoes. You throw some curls into your hair and brush them out so your hair looks wavy.

“Do you think we can bring Buster?” Harry asks, as he puts a sweatshirt of his own on.

“Yeah, there’s bound to be other dogs there too. Rach should be here soon to meet us. I’m a little annoyed that Mariah backed out on her.”

“She didn’t wanna go, no big deal.” He shrugs.

“Yeah, but you’re going, Niall’s going, and Isaac is even doing frat shit with Seth. What else does Mariah have to do today?”

“She doesn’t really like big crowds, Y/N. Rachel will have just as much fun with us.”

You all pile into Sarah’s SUV, including Buster, and head to your old campus. There a ton of people everywhere, but somehow Sarah finds a parking spot. The three of you had the same sweatshirt on, but you each still maintained your own styles. You check in at the registration tent, and head down the path towards the football field where most of the events would be happening. There were people of all ages around, and you look at Harry.

“Keep a tight grip on him, he’s never been around so many people.” He nods to you.

“I’m glad Mariah didn’t come, she’d be hyperventilating.” Rachel says. “I don’t remember there ever being so many people.”

“That’s because we were always too drunk by the time we got here, and we’d go right for the food tents.” Sarah says. “So where’s the alumni table that your intern so desperately wants you to stop by?”

“I have no idea.” You say squinting. “Oh! That tent over there maybe?” You point out. “I think that’s Zach sitting down.”

You all make your way over. You and Niall smile and wave at Zach, and he stands up to greet you both.

“I’m so glad you could make it! Hi Mr. Horan, I wasn’t expecting you to be here.”

“Mr. Horan.” Sarah giggles and Niall nudges her.

“Yeah.” You laugh. “Niall is actually one of my best friends.”

“Feel free to just call me Niall, Zach.”

“Right, sorry.” He rubs the back of his neck.

“This is Rachel and Sarah, they’re 2017 grads as well. Rachel came to film club sometimes too.”

“Awesome! Can you hang tight here for a second? I’m gonna go grab Russell, he’s the director.”

“Sure thing.”

“Help yourself to some water and doughnuts while you wait!” He walks away in search of Russell.

“I love free stuff, look at these stickers, I could use a new one for my car.” Sarah says.

Zach returns shortly with Russell.

“Russell, this is Y/N, the woman I was telling you about.”

“Hi! Russell Cohen, Director of Alumni Relations, nice to meet you.” He shakes your hand. “I’ve been meaning to email you, it’s just been so busy with all the planning of this.”

“Oh, it’s no worries. It’s nice to meet you too.”

“Zach tells me you gave quite the chat to the film club last week.”

“Got some pictures of it too, mate.” Harry chimes in.

“Pardon me, this is my fiancé Harry.”

“Nice to meet you.” They shake hands. “So, you’re over at Mark It, right?”

“Yes, I’m the Associate Director of Visual Media. I’ve been there just over three years now.”

“Do you happen to have a business card with you? We’re always looking for different stories in our alumni magazine. I feel like we feature the same stories all the time.”

“I do actually!” You reach into your back pocket and hand him one. “An alum from here actually helped me out in preparing for my initial interview there years ago.”

“Told you it was a cool story to tell, Russ.” Zach chimes in.

“Well, I’ll tell you what Zach, why don’t you work on conducting the interview. You could even do a digital piece for the online magazine, make a little video.”

“I’d love to!”

“Wait, so this is happening? You genuinely want me to be featured in the magazine?”

“Definitely. You’re a young, successful woman who has used her skills from our university to make a career for herself. Seems like you’re doing well in your personal life too. I’d like to showcase that. Zach sees you a few days a week anyways, so it’ll be easy enough to get some content together.”

“My friends here are both alums too.” You wave over to Rachel and Sarah. “They both graduated in 2017 with me, and are both teaching.”

“Oh great! What do you both teach?”

“I’m a high school art teacher in Brighton.”

“And I teach third grade in Dorchester.”

“Wow, that can’t be easy.”

“Some days are easier than others. I feel like I’m making a difference.” Sarah explains.

“Same here, they wanted to cut a lot of funding for my art program, but I wrote a letter requesting a grant, and we got it.” Rachel says.

“Seems like we have three strong women here, Zach.” Russell’s wheels are turning. “And the three of you were all friends in school, and stayed close.”

“Mhm.” You say. “We feel really lucky to have found each other.”

“My wheels are turning here, but I need to jump over to the cornhole tournament and make sure that’s all set up, and then I need to check on tailgate. I’d like to circle back with all three of you. I’ll contact you Y/N, and then maybe you could get me their information?”

“Sounds good.”

“Perfect, well, have fun today. Good work, Zach.”

Zach beams as Russell walks away.

“Thank you so much for coming to talk to him. I think I just got major brownie points. I really like the work I do for the office, and I’m hoping they’ll hire me on after I graduate.”

“Oh, well, if that’s the case I will for sure talk you up to him.” You say. “You guys ready to walk around a bit?”

“Yeah, I’m ready to hit up that beer garden.” Niall points it out.

“Now that is a great idea.” Sarah says.

“See you later Zach.” You wave to him as you all walk towards the beer garden.

You all show your ID’s and get in. You hang back with Buster while everyone else gets a beer.

“Is Y/N drinkin’?” Niall asks Harry when he sees that Harry only gets a drink for himself.

“Uh, yeah. She’s on a medication that can’t be mixed with alcohol.”

“Still?” Sarah asks.

“Yeah, it’s somethin’ she needs to take every day.”

“Is she okay?” Rachel asks.

“Yeah, perfectly fine.”

“Is it like an anti-depressant or something?” Sarah asks, taking a sip of her beer.

“Sarah.” Niall sighs. “If she wanted you to know, she would tell you, alright?”  

Niall didn’t know you were on meds, but he sure as shit had a clue what it was for, and he also knew it was something you’d want to keep to yourself. Everyone walks back over to you.

“Do you guys wanna check out the tailgate? Seth said he was grilling with his frat brothers.” You say.

“More free shit? Yeah, I’m down.” Sarah says.

You all make your way over, and you’re able to find Seth. Isaac waves to you and Harry. You smile as you hug him, and then you and Seth hug.

“Fair warning, I think you fucked half the guys here.” He whispers to you and he lets you go.

“What?” You whisper back. You look at the other alums there and your eyes grow wide. “Oh no.”

“Sorry, I should’ve texted you…I didn’t realize-“

“It’s okay, maybe they don’t remember me? I mean it would’ve been really long ago.”

“True.” He clears his throat. “Hey, Harry. How’s being engaged to the nicest girl in the world going?” He shakes his hand.

“Really good, thanks.” He smirks.

“You guys hungry, we have veggie burgers too.”

“That’d be great, Sethy, thanks.” You search for a cup to add some water to, and you bend over to give Buster a drink.

“Oh shit, that is Y/N!” Someone says and you stand right up and turn around. “Took me a second, but now I totally recognize you.” He laughs, clearly intoxicated.

“Alright, Billy, that’s enough.” Seth says.

Harry and Niall were extremely confused, while Sarah and Rachel stand beside you, cross armed.

“Chill, princess, she knows I’m just making a joke.”

“What did you just call him?!” You take a step forward. “Billy Meyers, I would strongly suggest you apologize.”

“What are you gonna do, break my nose like you did Ben’s?” He smirks.

“Notice how he’s not even here. He’s not allowed on campus anymore. Apologize to Seth, now.” He looks over at Harry, looks him up and down.

“You really do like the fruity ones, don’t you? Wish I had known-“ You take a deep breath and project as loudly as you can.

“BILLY MEYERS HAS A TWO INCH CHODE, BILLY MEYERS HAS A TWO IN CHODE!” The girls help you out and yell just as loud.

“Quit it! Shut up! Seth, tell them to stop!”

“Sorry, think I’m too fruity to do anything about it.” You tug Billy down by the collar of his shirt so he’s eye level with you.

“You were an immature fuck then, and you still are now. You should walk away now. Not only have you disrespected me, but my friend, and my fiancé, and I will not hesitate to shove my foot so far up your ass that you’ll be able to taste it.” He blinks at you and you let him go. “Walk away, Billy. Go to some other car.”

“Yeah, you’re not welcome here anymore.” Seth puts an arm around Isaac’s shoulder. “This frat is supposed to accept all people, but I think it’s time we made an exception for you. What do you guys think?” The other guys around all nod.

“Whatever, forget all of you.” Billy stumbles drunkenly away.

“Isaac, I’m so sorry you had to hear him say that.” Seth says to him.

“It’s okay, he’s been annoying all day, I’m just glad he’s gone.”

“Seth, are you alright?” You ask him.

“Yeah, I’m good, thanks.” You turn to Harry.

“I’m so sorry. Sometimes I forget people like that still exist.”

“I’m not even dressed…I don’t…I’m in a sweatshirt and jeans…” He looks down at his hands. His nails were pastel pink, and he had all of his rings on. “And my, my pearls are tucked in, I don’t…” He looks at Niall.

“Harry, he’s just an idiot.” You cup his face so he’ll look at you. “He’s gone now, let’s try to enjoy the tailgate, yeah?” You smile reassuringly at him.

“You fucked that guy?”

“No…I almost gave him a blowjob once, but I quite honestly didn’t know what to do with his micro-penis.” Everyone bursts out laughing.

“Yeah, that dude has a lot of internal issues, Harry…don’t take what he said to heart.” Seth says. “Alright, let me get back to the grill. There’s plenty of drinks too, you all can help yourselves.”

Rachel talks to a few of the guys she remembers being friends with, while Niall and Sarah chat with Isaac. Harry stays close to you, and has been really quiet. He only ate about half of his veggie burger.

“Hey, uh, let’s take him for a little walk.” You say to Harry and he nods. “We’ll be back in a little bit, just gonna let Buster stretch his legs.” You say to all of them. Once you’re away from the crowd and the loudness, you speak up. “Are you okay?”

“Not really.” Harry bites his inner cheek.

“Billy’s an idiot, Harry-“

“It’s not just him…it’s like I’ve been dealin’ with this my whole life.” He sighs. You both find an open picnic table to down at in the shade.

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve gotten bullied my entire life for comin’ off as…I don’t know, gay? I don’t even know why it fucking matters to me so much, I know who I am, and I know what I like. Why is it a big deal that I like to wear jewelry or paint my nails? Why is it a big deal if somedays I feel like dressin’ a little more masculine and or other days a little less? When I was in school it used to baffle the macho guys as to why so many girls wanted to hook up with me. My hair was long, and I supposed to them I looked girly, but it’s not my fault I just came off as non-threatening and I knew what I was doin’. I also actually took care of my body, like, some dudes I went to school with were nasty fucks.”

“A lot of guys have long hair, it’s come back in style.”

“You know what I mean though.” You nod. “I just thought I had grown out of caring what other people thought. There were even rumors that I was by or somethin’…I don’t know why people need a label for every little thing!” You blink away a few tears, you were trying to keep it together for his sake. “And look at me gettin’ all worked up, and Seth was cool as a cucumber.”

“Trust me, he’s just putting up a front for Isaac.” You rub his back. “Harry…none of that matters. If you know who you are then don’t let what one stupid idiot-“

“But it’s not just one person, Y/N! I mean if he took one look at me and deduced that it just makes me think like, what do other people think when they see us out, or like when we go to the spa together, what do those people think? They probably thing I’m like your gay best friend or something. And then I feel like a piece of shit for feelin’ that way because there’s nothin’ wrong with bein’ gay.”

“Harry, no one thinks that, and if they do so what?” He looks at you. “So you’re a little different, it’s what I love about you. You’re the least boring person there is, and I’m proud to call you my boyf, fiancé. Hell, I can’t wait to call you my husband. If someone has a problem with you, they can take it up with me.”

“I should’ve jumped in to defend you, but that guy paralyzed me.”

“It’s probably best you didn’t jump in because you probably would’ve actually hit him.”

“I would’ve walloped him.” He scoffs. “You really don’t care what other people think about us?”

“Not at all. Like I said, I’m proud to have you as the guy on my arm. I really am sorry that all happened. I hate seeing you so upset, baby.” You lean in a little closer to him so your lips are near his ear. “Every time we fuck, you always show how much of a man you are.” He looks at you and grins. You both kiss. “I hope when we get home you’ll show me again.” You say against his lips.

“I think that could be arranged.” He kisses you quick again and stands up. “Come on, I’m sure that’s where our friends think we are now.”

“Home?”

“No, off somewhere fuckin’.”

“Oh! You’re probably right.” You giggle.

You get back to your friends, and Seth hands Harry a beer.

“Thanks, mate.” Harry cracks it open and takes a sip.

“Y/N, there’s some seltzer water in the cooler too.”

“Thanks, Seth.”

The rest of the tailgate was really chill, and there was good music playing. It felt like old times a little. You and the girls were having a good time, dancing slightly where you stood when a good throwback would come on.

Seth wraps his around Isaac’s chest and rests his chin on his head.

“So, Harry, have you guys started planning anything yet?” Seth asks him.

“Yeah, we’re actually touring a couple of venues tomorrow. I think once we set a date we’ll work backwards, you know?”

“Makes a ton of sense.”

“Hey, Seth, some of the current pledges are coming by to say hi.” Someone says to him.

“Alright.” He kisses Isaac’s cheek and lets go of him.

“Cute.” Harry says.

“Harry…I think I’m in love. I know it’s only been a couple of months, but I think I love him.” Isaac says blushing. “I’ve never been with a guy like him before, he’s so comfortable and open.”

“That’s great. You should tell him how you feel.”

“Yeah.” Niall says. “Harry and Y/N said they loved each other only a couple months in.”

“Oh right, you two had a fight over the phone.”

“Harry!” You say, catching word of what they were saying. “You told him.” You pout.

“Really no other way to tell the story, love.”

“He didn’t tell me what the fight was over if that makes you feel better.”

“Why is this even being brought up?”

“Isaac’s in love with Seth.” Harry tells you. The girls squeal.

“Shh, what if he hears you?!��

“You have to tell him, Isaac.” Rachel says. “Mariah cried when I told her I loved her. I painted a picture of us together and it said I love us on it.” She swoons. “It’s hanging up right in front hall now.”

“What if he doesn’t say it back…I mean, I feel like he feels the same way, but I just don’t know.”

“You’ll never know unless you speak up.” Sarah says.

“Rip the band aid, mate.” Niall says.

“I’ve never felt this way before about anyone…” Isaac says shyly.

“Tell you what, we’ll all walk towards the game and give you two some privacy.” Harry says.

“You want me to tell him now?!”

“Tell me what?” Seth says coming back over to you all.

“We’re gonna go catch the end of the game, it was great seeing you!” You hug Seth, and everyone else also says goodbye. When you get a safe distance away you all stop to watch.

“That was awfully abrupt.” Seth says. “Is everything okay, babe?” He takes Isaac’s hand in his.

“Yeah, everything’s fine…I…just…” He sighs. “I love you, Seth.” Seth smiles and cups Isaac’s face in his hands and kisses him.

“I love you too, Isaac.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, really.” He kisses him again. “You’re silly, you didn’t need to be so nervous to tell me. It wasn’t obvious that I felt the same?”

“No!” He laughs. “Obviously not.”

“Well then, I guess I’ll just have to be more affectionate, won’t I?” He winks at him.

“Oh my fucking god, that was the cutest shit I’ve ever seen.” Rachel says as you all start to walk away.

“Right?! I’m so happy for them.” You say.

“Same here.” Harry gives you a pat on the back.

“Do we really need to watch the rest of the game? I’m about ready to leave.” Sarah says.

“Nah, we can go.” You say. “I wanna get Buster home.”

You all pile back into Sarah’s car, and head home. You thank her for driving before going into your building. Buster goes over to his water bowl immediately, and you refill it when he’s done.

“I can’t wait to go to the Ca-“

You’re cut off by Harry’s mouth on yours. He tasted like the beer he was drinking earlier, and you can’t help but suck on his bottom lip. His hands slide down to the backs of your thighs to lift you up. You wrap your legs around him while he carries you to your bedroom. He sets you down and climbs on top of you. His lips stay on yours while he unzips your jeans. His slips his hand inside your underwear and runs his fingers up and down your slit. You gasp when you feel his middle finger slip inside and the cool of his ring brushes up against you. He uses his other hand to tug your sweatshirt up over your breasts. He sucks his teeth when he sees your bra.

“If I wasn’t wearing one you’d be pissed.” You prop yourself up on your elbows to look at him.

“Take it off.”

You grin and do as he says, taking your sweatshirt and bra off, tossing them to the floor. He sucks on one of your breasts while he kneads the other, slipping a second finger inside you. Your head rolls back and you let out a groan. You grind yourself against his fingers and he looks down to watch you, the strain in his pants growing tighter. You were gasping and crying out from how good his fingers felt.

“Fuck, oh god!” You moan as you come on his fingers. “Please, fuck me Harry, need you.”

“Need you.” He stands up to take all of his clothes off. “To sit on my face first.”

You blush and sit up. Harry gets on the bed and lays down so you can place yourself on him. His scruff felt heavenly against you as you rode his tongue. You also loved the way he would moan as he lapped you up. You grip at your head board and cry out as you release again. You scoot down his body and plant kisses on his chest.

“Would you turn around and ride me? I love watchin’ your ass bounce up and down on me.”

You kiss him quick and nod. You turn around and line his hard, throbbing dick up with your center, and slowly sink down on him.

“Ah, babe, that’s it.” He moans, and grips your hips in his large hands.

You start to move up and down on him, and find a good pace. He thrusts up as you sink down on him and it hits you incredibly deep. You both could feel the bed moving underneath with how fast you were fucking each other.

“Fuck, Harry.” You moan.

“Keep goin’, baby, ridin’ me like a good girl.”  Your eyes widen, not that he could see. You look over your shoulder, and make eye contact with him. “I’m gonna come if you keep lookin’ at me like that.” He groans.

“Like what?”

“Like, oh fuck, Y/N!”

You gasp when you feel his come shoot up inside you. You wait a second to get off of him, and then you pad into the bathroom to clean yourself up. He reaches his arms out for you and you happily get back on the bed.

“How was I looking at you?” You ask softly. He rubs his thumbs lightly over your cheekbones.

“I don’t know, your eyes were all glossy and innocent.”

“You just surprised me when you called me that.”

“It slipped out, m’sorry if it made you feel weird.”

“It didn’t, I was just surprised.” You kiss him. “Everything you did felt so good, thank you.” You squish your nose to his.

“Please, I should be thanking you for the show you just put on. You have no idea how sexy your body is, darlin’.” His hands slide down your ass as you lay on top of him. “Do you think, uh, you’d ever let me?”

“Let you do what, honey?”

“You know…have a go at it.”

“Have a go at what?” You look up at him and he gets a better grip on your ass cheeks. “Oh!” Your face flushes. “To be honest…the thought of having your massive dick in my ass kind of scares me.” Harry can’t help but laugh.

“We could just ease into it. Like next time I finger you I could give you the shocker.”

“The shocker?”

“You’ve never heard of that? You know, two in the pleasure, one in the treasure?” You giggle against him. “I’d have two fingers in your cunt, and my pinky in your ass.”

“I think I could be open to that…”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I mean, what’s a pinky?” You hold on of his hands up and compare your pinky to his and sigh. “Even your fingers are massive.”

“They’re just swollen from my rings…I actually think they’re pretty skinny.”

“They’re not.” You kiss his hand. “But I’m not complaining.”

[hoe-for-yukhei]

 BEST FRIEND🌨

HENDERY-READER-LUCAS

Note; I’m not that good at mandarin and korean i’m still studying. Pls forgive me if there’s any grammatical errors or wrong translations,English is not my first language either, please bear with me.

Also yuqi will be mentioned here, she’s kinda bitch in this story so if you don’t like bad yuqi then please skip.

____________________________

What is he doing?

Is he eating?

Does he overwork himself?

Does he miss me?

Those thoughts lingered in your mind since You left to pursue your dream.

You and Lucas are in a Long Distance Relationship.

You in y/c Working Night Shifts in one of the biggest hospitals in your country.

While he’s in Korea and sometimes he travels for World tours and concerts.

You had lost contact with each other so you really can’t help but to worry and miss him.

You were both successful. But something’s missing..

You were a former trainee at SM.You’re close to RED VELVET,NCT,and EXO because you were in their batch and trained with them. 

At first you don’t have any friends.

A foreigner who’s still studying basic Korean language who wants  to be friends with her? You gained acquaintances and small friendships but still don’t have that friend who’s really close, an intimate friend. Until Hendery came into the company,He reminded you of you, Coming from a neighboring country, Doesn’t talk korean,Shy, New, and doesn’t have friends..

You cherished him. You two became best friends. Since he got into training with NCT he started hanging with the other boys which made you proud. You and Hendery counted many years as friends,you discovered new things about each other. One day he invited you to hangout with him and a friend. 

“Oh y/n is here!”

Hendery stood up from where he was sitting.

You didn’t know you guys would be having company.

You dragged Hendery outside the Cafe.

“You didn't tell me about eating with someone, I could have dressed better.”

“What are you saying? You look fine”

“You said It was just the two of us”

“Yeah about that, He was kinda lonely since Mark and others debuted. So I took him with me! You and him will be great friends, he's cool!”

“Alright.”

We walked back to their table. The guy is just sitting there looking at his phone.

“Bàoqiàn ràng nǐ jiǔ děngle wǒmen gāng tánle diǎn shì.”

(Hey, sorry to keep you waiting. We just talked about something.)

“méi shì.” (No worries.)

“Lucas,Tā shì y/n. y/n, Tā shì Lucas.” (Lucas,meet y/n. y/n, meet Lucas)

“y/n? Jiǔyǎng dàmíngle! Hěn gāoxìng jiàn dào nǐ! Hi I am Lucas.” (y/n? I heard so much about you! Nice to meet you!)

He extends his hand to you.

You just stare at his face. You froze at the moment. Because apparently you had never seen such beauty.

Handsome can’t describe Lucas’ he’s a god.

“y/n?”

For the first time you had a crush.

“U-uhm wo-wǒ shì y/n. Wǒ yěshì shíxí shēng. xìnɡ huì, xìnɡ huì” (H-Hi I am y/n. I am a trainee too. Nice to meet you.”

“Woah!junggug-iniseyo?” (Woah are you chinese?)

“A-ani! I’m not. I’m y/r”

You’re stuttering. In front of your crush. And it’s the first time you’re meeting. Bitch First Impressions last. You better keep it cool.

You, Hendery and Lucas hangs out more after that. You got close to him more and more,you found out he’s more than just a pretty face. He's charming, passionate, kind, funny and many more. Lucas can also say he likes hanging out with Hendery more because you always come along. Lucas really likes Hendery and treats him one of his best friends but why does he have a feeling that Lucas is using Hendery as an excuse to see you? And on the other hand you feel the same way too. Whenever Hendery asks you out to hang out you always expect Lucas to be there, and sometimes you’re much more excited about seeing Lucas than the night out instead. Hendery doesn’t feel like that. He feels like a freaking Third wheel. You and Lucas only focus on each other, Whenever he goes out with the both of you he always sees sparks in both of your eyes that mirror Lucas Eyes too. The attraction between Lucas and you can’t be denied. He tried to tease you both about it but you guys always deny it even though it’s obvious. And he’s not happy with that. 

Why?

Cause Hendery likes you.

Since Day 1.

Hendery became busy all of a sudden, you were lonely so Lucas accompanied you in place of Hendery.

Going out with Lucas became a habit, you too built a deep relationship with each other.

Lucas doesn’t want the feeling of taking Hendery for granted so he invited Hendery for a talk.

Hendery stops  playing his game and follows lucas.

“Hendery,hago sipeun mari ittta.” (Hendary, I have something to say.)

“Zěnmále?” (What is it?)

“Wǒ xǐhuan y/n..” (I like y/n..)

“Shénme?!” (What?!)

“Naneun geunyeoreul joahanda naneun geunyowa deiteuhago siptta.I like her. I want to date her. Wǒ yīnggāi bǎ tā yì chéng zhōngwén ma? thai?”(I like her, I want to date her. I like her, I want to date her. Should I also translate it into chinese? thai?)

“No need, I was just surprised.”

“So? Can I go out with her?”

“Seriously Why are you asking me? Wǒ bùshì tā Xuxi. You should ask her. Tā bùshì wǒ de.”(Seriously Why are you asking me? I’m not her Xuxi. You should ask her. She’s not mine.)

It’s true. You’re not Hendery’s.

He wish you were.

He knew this was going to happen, He doesn’t want to gatekeep you from Lucas just because he’s jealous, and also he doesn’t have a chance. You only see him as a best friend.

“I just thought it’s good to ask you because you’re her best friend.”

“You can do whatever you want Xuxi,Wúlùn fāshēng shénme shì, wǒ dūhuì zhīchí nǐ.”(You can do whatever you want Xuxi,i'll support you whatever happens.)

“Zhēn de ma?! Wǒ fàngxīnle.” (Really?! I feel relieved.)

“Wèishéme? Nǐ hàipà wǒ yě xǐhuān tā ma?” (why? are you scared that i like her too?)

Lucas was surprised. He just read my mind. He thinks.

Other than the feeling of guilt of using his friend as an excuse, He wants to ask him too to ensure that his dear friend is not going to be a rival.

“Ani nan duryopjji ana, Qíshí wǒ hěn yǒu xìnxīn.”(I’m not scared, actually i’m feeling confident.)

Why would he be scared? He’s Lucas. He can make everyone fall by looks alone.

“Don’t Worry, I won’t be a rival. I like her. I really do, but I won’t pursue her.I’m a coward and I haven’t put myself all together.Wǒ pèi bù shàng tā. Hái yǒu, tā zhǐ xǐhuān wǒ dāng péngyǒu, qǐng dài wǒ zhàogù tā.” (Also, she only likes me as a friend.  Please take care of her for me.)

It’s True He doesn’t deserve you. He’s still broken from an accident. He will be a burden once those memories will start hunting him  again.

“Nǐ quèdìng?” (you sure?)

“Yeah,Dàn jì zhù, yīdàn nǐ shānghàile tā wǒ jiù bǎ tā dài zǒu tā. I’m dead serious Yukhei.” (yeah,but remember once you hurt her, I'll take her away from you. I’m dead serious Yukhei.)

You and Lucas dated. You two were inseparable and in love with each other. Your friendship with Hendery kinda changed, he became busy with everything since He’s going to Debut in Wayv. It’s fine with you but you missed him.

Lucas opens your eyes about your dreams and the things you really want. Thanks to him you decided to pursue medicine.

Your relationship with Lucas now is different since he Debuted. You two were private, but not secret. Which means many people know he has a girlfriend but don't know it’s you. Few Idols know you’re his girlfriend but they keep it to themselves.

Lately Lucas has been distant to you. He wouldn’t pick up whenever you call. And whenever you want to facetime he would say he’s busy. 

“y/n your boyfriend sent a bubble message it’s trending in twt! Did you get the message?!”

“OMG wtf Na Jaemin! You scared the shit out of me!”

“Dr.Na, Dr.l/n. Shhh the patients are sleeping.”

You and Jaemin got scolded by the Chief Nurse. You two slightly bowed as sorry.

“Aish-This is all your fault.”

“Check LYSN right now! Ppalli!”

“I can’t My Subscription just expired yesterday.”

“Instead of ordering me. How about you tell me what he said?”

“Oh I didn't see the tweets about him. I just saw LUCAS GIRLFRIEND,#루카스_여자친_버블,#WE_SUPPORT_LUCAS, #旭熙_女朋友_LYSN and my phone died.” (#Lucas_girlfriend_bubble, #Yukhei_Girlfriend__LYSN)

“Oh..really? Did he mention me? He doesn’t tell me anything about coming out. That’s weird.”

“J-jeongmal?! Neohi duri majimageuro jonhwahan ge eonjeya?” (R-really?! When’s the last time you two call each other?)

That question is not hard.

But why can’t you answer such a simple question?

Perhaps because the two of you didn’t talk for like 6 months?

“nado molla,He always says he's busy.I send him daily messages but he won’t reply,He left me on seen.” (I don’t know.)

“What kind of boyfriend is he? He’s not like that when we’re still trainees.”

“Wait I’ll check Twitter.”

You don’t want to check what’s happening. A part of you just wants to turn a blind eye on this issue, because you have that feeling that things are about to mess up.

NCTSM: english translation of lucas’ post.

Translated by:@hoeforyukhei

여러분, 저는 루카스입니다.

팬분들한테 하고 싶은 말이 있어요.

사실 이 편지를 쓰면서 너무 떨려요.

저를 응원해주신 모든 팬분들께 감사드리고 처음부터 사랑하고 싶습니다. 저는 모든 사람들에게 제가 진정으로 사랑하는 아름답고 재능 있고 친절한 여자와 사귀고 있다는 것을 알리고 싶습니다.

유키는 제 여자친구와 우리 회사 둘 다 우리의 관계를 알리고 싶어했습니다.

저를 응원해주신 멤버들, 그리고 저를 사랑해주신 팬분들께 감사드리고, 제가 받을 자격이 없는데도 불구하고 응원해주신 팬분들께도 감사드린다.

저는 항상 여러분 모두에게 감사할 것이고 제 자신을 향상시키기 위해 노력할 것입니다.

사랑하는 팬들의 성원과 사랑에 보답하기 위해 열심히 노력하겠습니다.

탄쿄우 너무많아요.

Everyone, This is Lucas.

I want to say something to our fans.

I am actually so Nervous right now while writing this letter.

I want to thank all the fans that supported and love me from the start. I want to inform everyone that I am dating a beautiful, talented, and kind woman that I truly love.

Yuqi, my girlfriend and both of our Company wanted to publicize our relationship.

I am thankful for the members who cheered me, and to the fans who love me and supported me even though I am not deserving.

I will always be thankful to all of you and I will try to improve myself.

I will work hard to repay all the support and love of our beloved fans.

Thank You so much.

“What fucking bullshit is this?!”

“What the heck Renjun you were behind us all along?!”

“You’ve gone blind Na Jaemin.”

“Guys what the heck shut up the Patients are sleeping.”

“No y/n You shut up. How dare you take this bullshit? He just cheated on you! Right in front of your screen!”

Why are you calm?

Why aren’t you crying?

Is it because half of you expected it?

“It’s okay.It doesn’t matter. I already had a hunch he would do this.”

“Ani-even though you know it,I think it’s the best if you two should talk about it.”(no)

“Yeah, Renjun’s right if you’ll end things with him end it infront of his face! Slap him hard!”

“No Jaemin,I didn’t mean y/n will slap lucas. But y/n you get what I mean right?”

“Dr. Huang, paging Dr. Huang, Please come to the ER. Dr. Huang, paging Dr. Huang, Please come to the ER.”

“y/n you don’t always have to look strong. Jaemin and I are always here to talk to you.”

Renjun leaves you and Jaemin behind. You overthink Renjun's words, as always He is right. But your boyfriend just cheated on you, of course you don’t want to see him.

You find yourself in the middle of the airport,with Renjun who’s carrying your light backpack and Jaemin who’s hyped and doing an IG live.

In the end you and Jaemin are doing a chant like two drunkards in the center of the airport while waiting for your flight.

“y/n! y/n! Where are you going?”

“Korea!”

“Why are you going?!”

“To burn my ex's house!”

“Why are you going?!”

“To burn my ex’s house!”

“Whose house?!”

“Lucas’ house”

“Whose house?!”

“Lucas’ house!”

“Okay Jaemin that’s enough”

“No wait Renjun i’m not finish ye-”

Renjun quickly ended Jaemin’s IG live, which results in Jaemin being cranky. You literally laugh hard to their craziness. Until you were brought back to your reality when you heard your flight.

 “You’re a grown woman already so I’m not going to worry about you.”

“y/n bye!! Call us if anything happens!”

You were thankful for Jaemin and Renjun. They became your friends, your parents, your siblings, and your family.

They reminded you of someone.

Lucas definitely knows what he’s doing is wrong. He can’t help but to worry about you, this decision of his will forever make him miserable.

As soon as you got out of the airport, you didn’t immediately check in to a hotel or call lucas. Your feet dragged you to where your special place is. It’s the secluded part of the park, the park is where you and your ex-boyfriend have made most of your happy moments.

While you were you saw two familiar personages. 

Familiar indeed.

You are one little shit y/n. You said to yourself you will not cry.

But shit you were extremely wrong.

As tears roll down unto your face, you hurriedly exit the area.

“y-y/n?”

It’s Yuqi. You know her voice. Lucas once introduced her to you saying they’re close friends. They suited each other, and sometimes you tease them of being the perfect couple shits like that.

Then Yuqi will deny that she doesn't like him, they're just friends and everything.

You and her became friends. You even ask her if she could update you while you work abroad.

Now she’s just pure bullshit.

No, they’re bullshits.

You’re in the middle of running the exit to escape that hell hole.

Two large arms suddenly wrap your torso.

“Y-Y/n? Where are you going? Please let me explain, I didn’t do it. They made me do it y/n it’s not me i promise y/n don’t leave me Qǐng bùyào líkāi wǒ, wǒ qiú nǐle. Wǒ ài nǐ y/n. Wǒ zhēn de ài nǐ y/n, qǐng bié líkāi wǒ. J-jebalyo” (please don't leave me, I beg you. I love you y/n. I really do y/n,don't leave me, please.)

He’s sobbing there.

We’re all crying

He really won’t let go of you.

“L-lucas let go of me! Please.”

“No I won’t, please hear me out just this once.”

“I had enough, when there are times that I really need you- you shut me out lucas! You don’t know what that feels, the feeling of being left out. You didn’t even hear me out! You didn’t even answer my call when my brother died! I just want your company.. Your love. How can I hear you out if you don’t do the same? please,Fàng kāi wǒ..” (let me go.)

Lucas knelt to the ground and grab both of your hands tightly.

He’s eyes are swollen. Your heart aches for him, you still love him but this is so messed up. You remember the times before you lost contact with each other. Everything is so toxic.. 

Sometimes you have to accept the truth and stop wasting time on the wrong people.

“L-lucas,s-stand up please.”

“Bù, wǒ bù huì de! Bié pèng wǒ! Dōu shì nǐ de cuò! Bié pèng wǒ! Dōu shì nǐ de cuò! Nǐ qīpiànle wǒ.” (don't touch me! It's all your fault! you deceived me.)

“N-no,I didn’t.”

“y-y/n hear me out please I don’t love her.”

I hate it here.

Thankfully,Someone grabbed you out of nowhere.

You didn’t expect the sudden rescue,but you really appreciate it.

You cry hardly in the man’s arms.

It’s him. You missed him.

“Fàng kāi tā de Lucas.” (let go of her lucas.)

“I thought we were friends.”

“We still are,our friendship has nothing to do with helping y/n lucas.”

“You said you will support me!us!”

“That was then before you hurt her!”

“You know what would happen if I didn’t obey the company! You were there with me!”

“God damn lucas! You have a choice to accept it or not!”

“It’s my whole career! Everything I’ve worked for,and many more! I can’t afford  to sacrifice my-”

“Then it’s not y/n’s fault. You chose your career over her, then why are you running after her? If you really love her you would choose her! You need to man up! You can’t have your cake and eat it too.”

“y-y/n please make them stop! Nǐmen liǎ bié chǎole!Hendery please stop!” (You two stop fighting!)

“You. I know there’s something fishy behind your kind act. You know Xuxi already has a girlfriend! How dare you blackmail the higher ups just to make him yours? You sickened me.”

Your head is aching from all the crying and the things you discovered. You hated the drama.

“Bù Shì zhèyàng de! Wǒ méi nàme zuò! Nǐ zài shuō shénme-” (That’s not true! I didn’t do that! What are you sayin-)

“ENOUGH!”

You snapped. It took you a long time to get sick from all their lies.

“Y/n I promise you this isn’t tr-”

“I already said I had enough. Stop being pathetic Yuqi.”

A few people started to gather up when someone noticed the four of you, You are still with famous artists after all.

Hendery immediately dragged you out of the scene and took you to a car nearby, and drove his way out of there.

You love that park.Hangang Park is once full of your happy memories with your dearest ones,now it’s full of treachery,lies and contention.

You want to let go.

Many years of lies and denials. Now it’s all over.

“I thought I’ve lost you.”

“Trust me, I’m always with you.”

“Are we still friends?”

“There’s no break up in friendships.. At Least for me.”

You felt relief.

You can’t afford to have breakups from your friends. They’re all you got.

“Are you sure about letting go of him? You should know both sides.”

“I want to know both sides, I really do. But ican’t take all of this in one day. I need a break, this isn’t healthy. I just want to vanish for a second.”

“You didn’t answer me about letting go of him.”

“I don’t really know actually. But someone once told me ‘Never run back to what broke you’ I haven’t done that,I always thought that everything would be fixed once I stayed and put everything in order by myself. Turns out it didn’t. I think it’s time for a change.Someday, someone is going to thank him for letting me go.”

Someday, someone is going to thank Lucas for letting you go?

Hendery chuckled a little. Your saying once reminded him of the past.

When Lucas thanked him for letting you go.

It turns out, Hendery can’t let you go.

“Did you realize he didn’t actually let you go?”

“I know. But You can’t actually call it a relationship if you’re the only one holding on like I did. Besides he has yuqi.”

“Oh really?”

“You didn’t actually ask me where we're going. You just dragged me. Why did you do that?”

“I just did what I promised myself a long time ago.”

“What is that?”

You stared at his side profile while he’s driving.

He’s focused on the road, the oranged-pinked lights from the sunset pass through the windshield and hits his ethereally beautiful face.

Your Heart beats faster. It’s like the first time you met yukhei.

Hendery turned to you and smiled softly.

“It’s ‘once someone hurts you, I'll take you away from that person.’ I had a very horrible past. I’ve broken many promises from my loved ones,so this is the first time I’ve made a promise come true and I’m pretty proud about it.”

“By the way where are we going?”

“Anywhere you want, Where do you wanna go?”

______________________________

“Did you get it?”

“Yes sir I did.”

“This will be a really big scoop,let me see.”

“I just really love you so much *sobs why can’t you do the same to me?! I did everything for you!”

“Are you delusional?! You wrecked my life! How am I supposed to do that?!”

“Y-yn?”

“Y/n? y/n wait! y/n! Y-Y/n? Where are you going? Please let me explain, I didn’t do it. They made me do it y/n it’s not me i promise y/n don’t leave me Qǐng bùyào líkāi wǒ, wǒ qiú nǐle. Wǒ ài nǐ y/n. Wǒ zhēn de ài nǐ y/n, qǐng bié líkāi wǒ. J-jebal-”

“Sunbae, your phone is ringing”

“Annyeonghaseyo,This is Yeo Seon-Da from Dispatch Korea. How may I help you?”

to be continued.

AN:HELLO I KNOW THIS IS TRASH, IT’S BECAUSE I’M TRASH AS WELL. LOL I’M JUST JOKING (IT’S TRUE) THIS IS THE RESULT OF ME WATCHING AND READING TOO MANY CHEATING AND DRAMATIC DRAMAS, WEBTOONS, MANGA, AND NOVELS.

THANK YOU FOR REACHING THIS PART AND READING THE STORY. PLEASE LOOK FORWARD TO MORE TRASHY STORIES BY YOURS TRULY.

ALSO PLEASE SUPPORT THIS YEAR’S PROJECT NCT 2020. THEY ALREADY EARNED NEW TWO BELOVED MEMBERS SHOTARO AND SUNGCHAN. PLEASE SUPPORT AND LOVE ALL THE 23 MEMBERS. PLEASE REFRAIN FROM FIGHTING ABOUT THIS AND THAT, IT MAY AFFECT THE MEMBERS’ COMEBACK. THEY’RE REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO IT AND GIVING THEIR BEST FOR US CZENNIES. LET’S DIVERT OUR ANGER AND HATRED TO THE UPCOMING SONGS AND MV BY VOTING,STREAMING IT AND SUPPORTING THE COMEBACK. LET’S ALL WORK HARD AND REPAY THE CONSTANT LOVE AND HAPPINESS THEY’RE GIVING US. LET’S GIVE THEM THE WIN THEY DESERVE!

시즈니할수있어! 모두 사랑하자!

[heyitsmarysblog]

You are a fighter and warrior, you’ve got this Mary…

I have to admit that this pandemic really hits me the hardest and i do believe i already shared about this but right now i am finally slowly step by step having the courage to share and speak again.

I know that there where a lot who has been shocked about my sudden change what happened to “ica” where is “ica” to start it off i know i’ve already said this but i will said this again start calling me Mary because just as i said i am Mary.

I know for years i kept saying to addressed me as “ica” and now here i am telling you to addressed me as Mary because that’s my name not ica going back to that question to what happened to “ica” and where is “ica” the encourager and on fire why the sudden changes.

With this article or post your questions will be answered bare with me because this is a novel article or post i hope you stay till the end of this article or post so let’s start i was supposed to make a vlog about this stuff but i just couldn’t find the time and courage to vlog it that’s why i choose to write this way.

Answering the questions what happened during the pandemic where there is ecq, gcq and mecq all those stuff my faith and beliefs has been shaky in the latter part i was still worshipping, praying and devoted to God with my relationship with Jesus i was praying for my uncle but also depression hits me not only that i did several attempts and thoughts yes you read that one right and clear.

Off course i went with my silent battles i tried but i got lost of tracks i started developing trust issues that’s why i had a hard time to reach out to my support group, my mentor and spiritual families you all knew how religious i am back then i also know i dissapointed a lot even God because i was the encourager and active one yet i went and been through depression.

Why? I’ve been caught up and i’ve got a lot of loads in my plates my traumas from the past, family, trust issues, my horrible traumatic experiences, the bullying, rejection, my encounter and how i was treated on my former church, frustrations, anxieties, insecurities and depression even the unforgiveness in my heart.

Yes there where a lot who where and was been there but because of my trust issues i really had a hard time reaching out i remember how i ended up isolating myself how i diverted my attention watching netflix and kdrama series, karaoke, tiktok, working out.

As i watched 13 reasons why and finished every season i thought of myself i should have done the same thing “Hannah Baker” did a decade ago because what her character portrays almost the same of all the things i’ve been through how i was been bullied in high school, the embarrassment and humiliation i encountered due to the malfunction of my costume, how i was been entitled “darna” and been in a issue that i was been a third party which i was never was.

When how was this transferee student and his troup and the rest of the curriculum in our batch bullied me when he humiliated me by saying in front to our advisory class and our classmate that i was the first to get married and be pregnant on our batch one of the reason why i vow that i will never get married or be pregnant (because my uterus is inverted and i am not having any period) how my english teacher when i was freshmen humiliated me just because i was the only girl got the zero score on the quiz and when my specialist told me i have no talent maybe she’s right i couldn’t sing or dance just a frustrated singer and dancer i know it’s obvious.

How this transferee student when i was in high school in senior year humiliated me just because i got no choice but to cheat in our exam because i know nothing about the spanish class, how i was been underestimated during college and basically been bullied as well and when they told me if ain’t drinking that beer they wouldn’t help me with the dance steps anymore because it’s true that i don’t dance believe it or not you may see me with my tiktok dances where i am a trying hard it’s my bestfriend influence why i am in tiktok but in regards to dance or dancing i couldn’t do it i actually have a traumas with that as well even myself i am shock that i am dancing where clearly i am not a dancer.

I would say that maybe my specialist was right when she said i have no talent because i couldn’t sing, dance or even play piano or guitar i wanted to i tried and no i am not intelligent i suck in math real bad my english? Nah even though i write and vlog i barely have 66 subscribers and no readers my childhood dream that i couldn’t reach even my audition in pbb yes i widthraw my audition this year it also made me frustrated while i see someone i know reach and achieved her dreams don’t get me wrong i am sincerely happy i also know she been through lot before she reached it but i couldn’t help not to feel insecure plus i never got any moral support from my family with the things i wanted to pursue and achieved.

I choose to cut my ties to all my classmates and batchmate of high school and college i only have communication with my grade school buddies why because it frustrate me how successful there it’s been a decade yet here i am baby sitting my nephew still jobless that’s why i never involve myself with any forms of reunion not unless it’s my grade school buddies all of these hits me including my horrible traumatic experience when i almost got rape not just once but twice.

Among those two the one that was traumatic most is what i encountered 5 years ago although the person is already in heaven maybe and how i was been called a slanderous and how they sugar coated me i thought i already let go of all these things but i was wrong it even left me with the thought knowing that i am a 8 months premature baby and being in depression i wished that i didn’t survive knowing how and what i’ve been through for the past 25 years of my life.

Having depression and with these thoughts i only had my bestfriend and cousins with me also loosing my one and only close auntie on the day of Valentine’s Day everything started to fall apart i tried fighting this battle silently where i would cry it all out to God but one day i just find myself the fire and passion got lost i stopped worshipping and praying even doing my devotion a lot has triggered me being ghosted by whom i thought gonna be my first and last after what i experienced and encountered the wall that the person broke where i thought i already knew my value and just enjoying my season having a good testimony it was broken i stumble and fail.

Where i thought that my heart is renewed it has been cold and hardened again the walls and bricks became triple a lot of people thought this is the only reason why i have depression yes it is a part and one of the reason but it’s not just it although this person ask for forgiveness but at this point i can’t because of everything i was in pain and hurt with the words that this person or “taurus” couldn’t accept my bad sides and got tired where “taurus” was the reason there is a huge differences between seriousness and sureness i should have known.

With these i did and been through a lot of things that i am not proud i know i was and i am a failure and dissapointment to my mentor, support group, spiritual families specially to God i kept resisting and running away, avoiding His presence i diverted it in a wrong i started having vices (alcohol, tried to smoke, pornography, cursing) my anger management and temper i even went to psychiatrist i only had one meeting because i don’t have my own money and i was only able to buy few pieces of my medicines during those moments i thought and i can already feel that it was God the whole time why i couldn’t consitently do it.

However i’ve been resisting it my heart is and was been cold and hardened even though His been using a lot of people and that i can still feel His presence yet i run away and avoided everything i committed sins curses and cursing, vices (alcohol and smoking) went through a bar been watching porn and porn sites i even installed apps about horoscope listened through music and songs that are not worship i downloaded different genres of songs, watching adulting stuffs and series various of vlogs.

My mindset changes a lot with a thought of my preference changed somehow due to my horrible traumatic experience and encounters of rejections towards men i even downloaded apps and create various of dating profile accounts which i am not even active then i ended up deleting everything and installed bible app it’s been 2 years the last time i open my bible and have my devotion i even threw away on the river the bible that was been gifted to me of the one who ghosted me.

I am left with the question that can i still go back? Will i be still accepted and forgiven even i myself still can’t forgive and forget or even let go before this pandemic i wanted to ran away to be in Manila that’s the only place i wanted to be with even those moments when i was been bullied i didn’t want to see or face someone i knew but i always ended up being with the same circle of my past one thing i regret is that if only i was really be courageous enough to speak up and face confrontations i always run away and avoid.

Why because i know that my voice won’t matter and will never be heard that’s why i rather rant or write it i always have this mindset that i don’t want to leave this country if i will be leaving i want to left this city where it cost me painful and bad memories horrible and traumatic experiences i’ve been wanting to have a new environment alone and away in Manila never have i thought that i would agree on migrating soon in New Zealand to be with my frontliner sister and maybe then i will be able to finally move on and let go.

Where there is peace and joy however there is this question remains where i know that His presence never left me despite everything that i knew He has and will always has new mercies for me even thought i stumble and fail where i committed sins but i still find myself crying out, kneeling down before Him, praying and worshipping.

I couldn’t promise that it will be instanly go back after a day but step by step it’s been awhile the last time i did this but if you were able to came through this point thank you specially i am in awe and grateful for those God used as an instruments all this time although i always feel frustrated even with my journey and relationship with Him

Yet here i am having realize all of this that no matter how i run away, avoid, surrender and give up His presence remains and His love endures forever thank You for saving me and opening my eyes though i fail and sinned my love for You was never gone and Your love never change i don’t even deserve it but You give it.

Mary, you are a fighter and warrior you still got of fight left in you Mary you’ve got this because the Lord is with you the angels and heaven is backing you up and those people that God brought you.

Here i am Mary i hope the way you embraced “ica” is the same way you will embrace and accept me as Mary after all this is the name that God gave me Mary so for starters please call me Mary because that’s my name i am Mary for 3 years i lived myself as “ica” and created sorry just because i hated my name i invented the name “ica” which upon that name traumatic experiences happened however within the name “ica” i met people God brought me that will always be and has a special place in my heart yes i already said goodbye to “ica” let’s all say goodbye.

Now let’s welcome, embrace and accept Mary now i am ready to accept and love my own name Mary yes my name is Mary everyone and Mary we are now rising back up let’s continue our journey Mary remember you are a fighter and warrior Mary.

You’ve got this Mary you are not alone Mary Jesus is with you keep fighting Mary

[connorandersons-blog]

Kinktober day 13: Face-sitting/Hair-pulling, Kamcon

Spot the Marvel reference ajdaks

----------------------

Connor liked playing with people's hair, all of his friends and acquaintances knew that. The Chloes definitely knew that and would all surround him whenever he visited, asking for different hairdos. 

He found it relaxing but obviously, there were some people's hair he didn't touch, not for lack of want, but he knew it made them uncomfortable. 

Hank was the first that had said no. He definitely means it rudely, but the man just didn't want his hair touched. Connor had suggested pulling it back into a ponytail to appear more professional, but Hank had shot that down (then went out and bought a thing of hair ties, totally just for Connor).

He had jokingly run a hand through Gavin's hair, mostly just to fuck with him but had gotten a rather interesting reaction. It had shut the man right up and he seemed to melt for a second before snapping out of it. He didn't yell at Connor for it, more like ran away. So he only touched Gavin's if absolutely necessary or he needed to just shut up.

The third person was North. His reasons were completely valid and he never brought it up. He knew what she was created for and the things humans would do to her. 

Then there was Elijah. The man had beautiful hair but never let anyone touch it, not even any of the Chloes. But Connor knew why. Connor didn't do it often because he wasn't always in the mood, but when he was he knew exactly how to get what he wanted. 

He had come to visit like he often did and had gotten through most of the Chloes, chatting with them while Elijah finished up whatever he was working on. The man could get so deep into it that he'd forget everything around him, including himself. That's partly why many of the Chloes were there originally, they would make sure Elijah took care of himself. 

Now that Elijah and Connor were together, he liked to drop by with some homemade food or dessert. As long as Elijah had eaten two meals that day he wouldn't pull him away instantly. If the Chloes hadn't managed to get him to eat then Connor would intervene with very interesting tactics. 

One of the most memorable ones was Connor climbing into his lap. He's done that before, but he would just sit there and cuddle close as Elijah worked. This time he had ground against him until he got his attention. He had then jumped off and run to the kitchen (already having warned the Chloes). Elijah had run after him and Connor managed to get him to eat before Elijah sat him on the counter. 

Currently, he had made brownies with very finely crushed peppermint (small enough to melt when baked) in. Christmas was drawing near and Connor had found he loved the baking ideas that came from it. His last Christmas, his first-ever, had been a busy one that he hadn't gotten to celebrate fully. He had gone home to Hank that night with the gift but it had ended in tears for both of them (understandably). 

This year he planned on fully enjoying it. He'd talked to Hank and the man had agreed to come along to Carl's house for Christmas. Elijah was close friends with Carl Manfred and had personally made Markus. Connor was invited, and then Connor invited Elijah and Hank with everyone's permission. Elijah had then invited the Chloes and Markus and Carl seemed to share the same thought, the more the merrier. The one person that was surprisingly invited was Gavin. 

Connor had known they were related since Elijah and he got together. Elijah didn't want to hide it and Connor kept noticing similarities already. It definitely helped his relationship with Gavin enough to call him an odd friend. No one was sure if he'd actually show up, though.

It was sure to be a hectic but wonderful day and Connor couldn't wait to celebrate with his family. Because that's what he considered all of them, his family. 

Connor and Markus could bicker for hours but the next minute could be found cuddling together. North and Connor had gotten close but he also wasn't afraid to call her out on her bullshit and Connor thought she secretly appreciated it. 

Connor adored Simon but they definitely had a rough start. It took a long time for Connor to open up about Daniel and how it still haunted him. Luckily the two were completely different so unless Connor was having a flashback they got along amazingly. Josh was a sweetheart but often stayed quieter, so Connor made sure his voice was heard and that he was always included. 

Carl had taken a liking to Connor almost instantly, saying how he and Markus were two sides of the same coin. Connor would try to fuss over him, but Carl always had a snarky remark to battle it. If Connor had to label their relationship, Carl was similar to a grandfather. 

Hank was definitely a father figure even if it tore open some wounds. Yet Connor could tell it was also helping. Connor would never replace Cole, he'd never want to, but Hank needed someone to look after. Someone new to this world and still confused by so many things. 

The Chloes were like sisters to him. They certainly treated him like a brother and seemed rather excited about that too. 

He finished french-braiding one's hair before looking up to see Elijah leaning against the doorway, hair still pulled into a bun he wore when working. Connor grinned at him from the floor and a few Chloes looked over before groaning. 

"How long have you been standing there?" He asked and watched as plenty of the Chloe's got up to leave. It really wasn't a secret what the two would get up to when given enough time and energy, and Connor had plenty of both. 

Elijah pushed off the wall and walked over, offering a hand to Connor. He took it and let himself be pulled up and into a long hug. Elijah didn't look like it, but he gave really amazing hugs. "Long enough, you looked so happy."

"That's because I am." Connor leaned back and poked at Elijah's stomach with a small squint. "You hungry? I brought something for you." 

Elijah would deny it but he perked up at the sound of Connor's food. Connor was proud of himself by getting that reaction. He had decided to learn how to bake and cook the human way and he put a lot of effort into everything. The brownies had been completely his own made-up recipe. "God yes, you're a blessing." 

Connor shrugged and led them to the kitchen giving a small wave to the last few Chloes. "I just need someone other than Hank to give good too. He loves it, but I'm trying to help him get into a better meal plan." Not necessarily losing weight, but he just wanted him to eat healthier, it was shown to help mental health.

"Oh, I see. The great Elijah Kamski second best and only needed to eat food." He put a hand on his forehead dramatically and sighed. 

Connor snorted and shook his head, grabbing the container. "Well, can the great Elijah Kamski get himself a plate, or does he need help with that?" 

Elijah pretended to think for a second before turning and half-heartedly reaching for the cabinets. He looked back over his shoulder with a small pout and once again Connor snorted. 

He walked right up to him, pressing Elijah into the counter, and arm going around his waist while reaching up and pulling down a plate. "Here you go, sir." He whispered in his ear before backing away and taking the lid off the brownies. 

Elijah huffed and reached for a brownie but Connor slapped his hand away. "Rude, I see you're in a fun mood today." 

Connor smiled and shrugged, dishing out a brownie to Elijah before taking one for himself, putting his hand under his chin to catch any crumbs. "Perhaps, you'll just have to wait and see." He took a bite of the brownie and was instantly thankful Elijah had given him the upgrade to be able to eat. This was definitely going on his favorites list. 

Elijah took a bite too and seemed to melt for a second before humming. "It's really good. You did very well on the balance, love." 

Connor leaned over and gave a quick peck at Elijah's cheek. "Thank you, I think I'll make some for Christmas." He had so many things he planned on bringing, but thankfully Markus just encouraged him. Said he should always do what he was passionate about. 

"Good idea, Carl will love them. Though Gavin will bitch he'll steal as many as he can. He's a sucker for peppermint even if he says that's a basic ass bitch thing." Elijah rolled his eyes and took another bite. 

"Well, I'll make him his own batch as a gift then, with 'basic bitch' spelled out on top with peppermint sprinkles." He'd definitely get into a play fight over that, but it would so be worth it. Plus he had been desperately trying to figure out what to get the man. 

Elijah snorted and covered his mouth. He quickly swallowed before bursting into chuckles. "Fuck yes! Oh god, he's gonna kill me but it's worth it." 

Connor smirked and finished off his brownie before stepping closer to Elijah and running his hand up and down his arm. "How has work been? And that new project? Being able to change facial features to be more feminine or masculine, right?" Of course, he already knew and he could never forget, but he loved the way Elijah lit up. 

Elijah scarfed down the rest, before moving and pushing Connor up into the island, standing between his legs. "Work has been interesting, there's a new intern, incredibly brilliant and so quick too. He's truly a prodigy and I see a bit of myself in him." 

Connor hummed and let his hands wander around Elijah's torso, not truly trying to start anything yet. "Oh?" 

Elijah nods quickly, his eyes lighting up. "Yes! He's so young so I'm trying not to push too hard or set too high expectations, but I also don't want him to get bored. He's… he's a really good kid, comes from a rougher home." His voice softened and Connor tilted his head. 

This was definitely interesting. Elijah wasn't one to like children, he mostly tolerated them when necessary. He'd never heard Elijah speak like this about any younger human. "Oh, what's his name?" 

"Petrus, I think you two would get along well." Elijah leaned forward and let their foreheads rest together. 

Connor hummed and let his hands settle around Elijah's shoulders. He'd most definitely need to meet this kid if Elijah was so...patriarchal. "I'd be very interested in meeting him, but maybe another day. I want you all to myself for tonight." With that he slid his hands up, scratching at the short stubbly hairs of Elijah's undercut. "Would you like that? We haven't gotten to play in awhile and haven't gotten to mess around with my new component." 

He scooted closer so that his entire front was pressed against him. He could feel the moment Elijah's heart sped up and his pupils grew wider. "Oh?" 

Connor nodded and let his hands scratch higher until he could pull Elijah's hair out of the bun. It fell down around his face like silk and Connor ran his hands through it. He got a few tangles out and focused on playing with it. "Yep, and I distinctly remember you promising certain things once I tried it out. 

Elijah hummed and leaned into the touch, a soft smile on his face as his hands slid down to Connor's thighs. "That I did, and I always keep my promises. How has it been feeling? Any adjustments needed?" 

Connor huffed and grabbed Elijah's hand, placing it under his skirt and against the boxers. Thankfully no one really questioned his choice of outfits as he was still experimenting but he'd found skirts could be very comfortable. The fingers gently pressed down then moved in a slow circle and Connor let his head fall back with a whine. "What do you think?" 

"I think you may be a bit too sensitive, baby boy, but we don't have to change anything." Elijah's other hand gently massaged Connor's thigh and he leaned forward to press kisses down his neck. 

Connor keened and took some hair into a fist and pulled, just enough to get a reaction out of Eli. "I'm very sensitive, but you will still do as promised." 

"God I love it when you're demanding, want it so bad don't you. You're so needy. Maybe I could do it right here?" Elijah whispered and nipped at Connor's skin. 

Connor huffed but smirked. "I'm horny as fuck, are you going to actually do anything about it or should I find someone else? Markus had expressed interest before, I'm sure he'd-" he's cut off but Elijah silencing him with a kiss. 

He knew it got Eli a bit riled up when Connor mentioned Markus like this. He could get a bit possessive in the heat of the moment and even slightly jealous. But he always made sure Connor knew he belonged to no one. 

"He can fuck off, you're mine and he knows it." Elijah picked him up from the counter and Connor wrapped his legs around him with a smirk. "Come on, baby." 

Connor yanked on his hair and pressed hot kisses to his neck, trying to distract him somewhat. He wanted to see how much he could stall the other but he still really wanted to get to bed. 

"Fuck, Connor baby come on." Elijah mumbled, stumbling slightly when Connor nipped at the softest part of his neck. 

He hummed and wiggled his hips, more to tease Eli than anything else. The fabric texture had him sighing softly when the movement caused pleasure to pulse through him. "Hm, am I distracting?" 

"Yes, we're almost there, just wait a few more seconds." Elijah kissed him thoroughly before starting to move again. 

"Elijah-oh, sorry!" One of the Chloes squeaked before turning tail and all but running off. 

Connor snorted and had to hide his face in Elijah's shoulder, blush bright on his face. It wasn't the first time a Chloe had walked in on them and it definitely wasn't in one of the worst positions they had been caught in either. 

Elijah gave a low hum but walked the rest of the distance and dropped Connor onto the bed. "There we go, you're so beautiful." Elijah said before pulling his shirt off. 

Connor smiled and gladly watched him. He had only admitted it after, but he had become flustered the first time he met Elijah. How little he wore and how confident he was with it. Now he had no problems watching and enjoying the view. 

Connor bent his knees and spread his legs. He dipped a hand under his skirt and started to play with himself until Elijah saw and snatched his hand away. "Hmm, maybe I should call Markus, I think he'd be great at dirty talk and he wouldn't take so long with his clothes. Especially with all those zippers." He had to hold back the snort at that, having always teased Markus about his choice of clothing. 

"You will not little boy, your cunt belongs to me. You cannot touch yourself without permission and no one else can either." Elijah growled and Connor smirked. He was so going to get what he wanted. 

Connor bit his lip and fluttered his eyelashes at Elijah, spreading his legs even wider. "Then why don't you take care of me? Show me what true pleasure is like, teach me to do it right." He was definitely going to stroke more than Elijah's ego tonight. 

Elijah ducked his head down and pressed gentle kisses to Connor's inner thighs. He sucked and bit at the skin, leaving marks only he'd be able to see. Connor would feel them tomorrow too, he'd hopefully feel much more as well. 

Connor tangled his hands in Elijah's hair again, and tugged him forward and closed to what he really wanted.

Elijah mouthed at him before pulling the panties to the side. It was like Connor's body was on fire but the heat pooled at his slit as Elijah licked his lips. 

Connor groaned and moved swiftly, straddling Elijah's face, hands still in his hair. "You're taking too damn long!" He complained and Elijah stared up at him with wide eyes for a second. 

"God, that's so unfair babe. You're too beautiful, but I'll do what I promised. Don't worry, I'll make you feel so good you can only think of me." 

Connor let out a gasp as Elijah finally licked at him, gentle and slow at first, to test. "Hmm, God that feels good." 

Elijah licked into Connor, his spit mixing filthily with Connor's wetness. Elijah groaned, the hum of vibrating through Connor and flashing starbursts behind his eyes. It was just so good. 

He pulled at the hair, his legs trembling from pleasure. He could hold himself up for days if he wasn't preoccupied, but he had to actively focus on not crushing Elijah.

Elijah held onto Connor's hips and pulled down, eyes flickering open to glance at Connor's face. He gave another low hum and Connor let himself put most of his weight onto Elijah and his incredible tongue.

He ground his hips down and Elijah gladly sucked, greedy for more. Elijah squeezed his hips, ass, thighs, and kept bringing him back down, closer and deeper. 

Connor yanked mercilessly at Elijah's hair, never hard enough to pull any out, but hard enough that he knew Elijah loved it. He didn't even have to have past knowledge about it with each moan that came from a partially sharp tug. 

He moved down and quickly fucked into him with his tongue again, pressing as deeply as he could. 

"Yes! There!" Connor moaned, his head spinning as Elijah hit that wonderful spot. "Fuck, keep going I'm so close." 

Elijah hummed and Connor pulled at his hair, his back arching. His whole body shook as he completely sat on Elijah's face, his mind going blank for a second. "Yes! Fuck yes, Elijah!" He sighed out, Elijah not stopping even as Connor came. 

It took him a minute until he sat back up, and moved down, finally letting go of Elijah's hair and letting the man wipe his mouth off. "Fuck, you taste so good." 

Connor hummed and leaned down, kissing Elijah and tasting himself. He pulled away after a few minutes and smirked down at him. "Yes, I do."

They end up curled together after they are both satisfied and Connor traces random patterns info Elijah's chest. 

"You talk about Markus a lot, would you like him to join one night? Perhaps just watching at first." Eli mumbles but is clearly still awake.

Connor blinks at him before kissing his collarbones. "No need if it makes you uncomfortable, but I won't lie, I do like that idea." 

Elijah nodded and pulled Connor closer. "I'm not opposed to the idea, and I want to make you as happy as you make me. It would be pretty cool to say I slept with two of the deviant leaders." 

Connor snorted and flicked at his skin but the smile was so wide on his face it hurt. "You make me very happy, Eli. Even if we never did anything like this, if we never slept together, I'd still be happy and content."

He snuggled closer and heard the soft pounding of Elijah's heart, he always found the sound oddly calming. 

"I'm glad. But as I was saying, if you'd like to we can talk to him about this, offer the chance. I can't guarantee it will be perfect or go smoothly but I'm willing to try and see." 

Connor closed his eyes and nodded. "Yeah, I'd like that. I love you, Elijah." 

Elijah hummed and gave him a tight squeeze. "I love you too."

[diddlesanddoodles]

DEAD WALLS RISE - BARNABY

PART ONE

WARNING: Mentions of death, torture, war, and cannibalism. 

If he concentrated hard enough, he could still smell the incense and hear the sound of his soles as he walked to his old office. The gentle curve of the corridor and the carved masonry. The smell of his paints and paper, the feel of his pens in his hands, and the simple pleasure of creating another page. Another moment in time captured. The words of his people written and record for their descendants to read.

But as soon as the memories of such pleasant times came to him, so did all that followed. The screams of his fellows as towering shadows corralled and herded them all down through the gully and to the waiting traps. The snapping of ropes as people were snared and the screams of confusion and terror as whole groups were entangled with nets being thrown from up high. Their group of seventeen had all been captured so easily. Only two or three had managed to escape. Or so it was believed as they were not counted among the captives.

It was just as easy that one or two of the giants had taken liberty of them themselves and the only thing he could think to do was to send a fervent prayer to the Gods that their ends, if that had been their fate, had been quick and without pain.

And he then extended that prayer to himself and his fellows.

…………………………………….

He never found out how they discovered who he was. All he knew was that he had been violently awoken one morning by a Vhasshalan guard as he reached into his cell – or cage rather – and peeled him away from the others crammed inside with him. Cruel fingers dug into his ribs and he found it difficult to breathe. But then all at once he’d been tossed onto a cold stone floor and a voice he knew, a voice that he dreaded, spoke to him. A voice like thunder and dripping with malice.

“You are Barnabas MacVoy Devonshire,” said King Nethrin. Not a question. A statement.

Through parched lips he said, “I am. My lord.”

“That traitorous murderous Haeral’s archivist?”

“Yes, my lord.”

“Good,” King Nethrin said, the venom of his words taking on a sickly sweet quality. “I have need of your talents. Give me what I wish and you’ll be preserved for much longer than those wretches in the kitchens. Displease me and I’ll have you placed in the front of the line.”

How he wished he could claim to have been brave. To have withheld and withstood their torture. To have died with his honor and loyalty to his King intact. But he broke after the third day. Lack of food and water and the pain…

...now he only wished for death. And King Nethrin was glad to give it to him.

…………………………………

Their cages were wood reinforced with metal and they were stacked on top of one another. Seven bodies to a cage. Ten cages total. Their entire existence was contained within a shed. A single lantern was lit to give them some measure of light. And though they all knew why they were in this place and what would happen to them the day they left that shed...it was a notable improvement over the dungeons. They were given water, bread, and each cage had a chamber pot. Though they were cramped, they were warm. 

But it did not change the fact that every man in that shed was going to be eaten. They were no more than cattle. And the shed was a larder.

Most of them had been soldiers. Several of them were wounded still. A few were civilians. Most all of them were older, but there was one young fellow that shared his cage that did not look to be a day over seventeen and his heart broke for the boy. The young man still wore the underclothes of a solider, his armor long since stripped from him.

Once a day, in the afternoon, the shed door would open and two giants would take the next cage. Those inside were never seen again. They never heard any screams. The giants rarely ever spoke to them or even seemed able to meet their faces. On the few times they did speak, it was soft. Apologetic. Guilty. And how young most of them seemed. It occurred to him much later in his captivity that it was possible that those giants working in the kitchens might very well be doing so against their will. Prisoners almost as much as their human charges.

After all, Silvaara and Vhasshal had been allies for hundreds of years. Surely it was possible that there were some who disagreed with their King. But who could stand up to a man with such power? Nethrin’s hatred and blood lust was pure and blind and all consuming. His eldest son and heir had been murdered and he would see the world burn for it and they would know his pain a thousand fold. 

The day Barnabas was to die, the shed door opened and two young giants walked in, looking haggard and wretched. Without even meeting the faces of the humans within, they each grabbed a side of the cage and hauled it outside.

He watched their faces through the bars, finding himself feeling very sorry for them. How terrible it must be do be forced to such vile and wicked work. The brown haired giant’s eyes glanced over the seven human captives and his eyes lingered on the young solider and his pensive eyes turned distressed.

“...ah, fuck. Yale,” he said quietly with a forlorn look and reluctant eyes. “Look...”

The black haired giant’s eyes focused in on the young solider and he sighed. “I know...just...let the boss handle it. Okay, Saen?”

“Okay...but...”

“We can’t help them.”

“...isn’t there...something?”

“You’d loose your head for it. And then he’d send Baynor after yer Mum and Dad and the rest of ‘em.”

“...right.”

“They’re already dead, Saen. They just don’t know it yet.”

But Barnabas did. He knew he was dead. And for his betrayal of his King...of his country...he knew that he deserved such an end.

……………………………………………..

Their cage had been placed unceremoniously inside a room off of the main kitchen behind a red door and left there. Many of the men inside had been able to compose themselves for most of their time, but as the moment of their deaths loomed ever nearer, those walls began to break.

A few of the men, well into their forties, were openly sobbing. Someone was praying. But the rest, including himself, were deathly silent. Then at last, their death came. In the form of a burly red hair giant with the greenest eyes Barnaby had ever seen.

“Here’s what gonna happen, fellas,” He said to them as he shut the red door behind him. He went to a small cupboard and pulled down a green glass bottle. His voice was businesslike, but still had an air of regret to it. From the same cupboard he pulled out seven small cups. Human cups. They looked absurdly small in his large palm. He tipped his hand over the cage and dropped the cups inside. “Yer gonna be given as much whiskey as ye can fuckin’ take. And yer all gonna drink it till yer right and proper pissed. And then yer all gonna pass out.” He paused, frighteningly sharp green eyes baring into them. “But ye won’t be waking up again.”

The young solider beside him pipped up. His voice shook as he asked, “H-how...how are you gonna…?”

“Snap yer necks. Quick. Painless,” said the giant as he looked into each of their faces. “S’the only mercy I can afford ye boys.”

Those green eyes seemed to linger on the young solider for longer and his frown deepened. After filling a barrel sized bowl of whiskey from the green bottle, he opened the cage and placed it inside before shutting it again.

“And what if we don’t?” asked one of the others. An older man. A civilian.

The giant’s expression did not change. “I snap yer neck regardless. It’s yer choice if ye wanna be conscious fer it.”

He left them then to consider their choices and when it came down to it, they all dipped their cups and drank. He had never considered himself a heavy drinker. A glass of wine every now and then, but he rarely ever drank whiskey and he found it a challenge to force himself to drink it. Especially in such quantities. The young solider seemed to be having just as much difficultly, but the other encouraged him on, pushing his cup into his face and tipping it back for him. After his second cup, the boy began to sob. 

“Never would have thought the fuckers would give us anything half way decent,” said one of men. “But this shit’s...actually pretty nice.”

“Small mercies,” said another.

“Well, gentlemen,” said another as he raised his cup. “It’s been a pleasure serving with you and I pray the Gods take pity on our damned souls. Long live the King.”

“Long live King Haeral.” They raised their cups, but even as he brought his up as well, he felt the utter shame pulling at him. If they all knew what he had done...

He drained the rest of his cup and went to refill it, not having much of a care for the tears falling from his cheeks.

…………………...

He drifted between sleep and alertness as one would bob along on a wave. Up and down...in and out. And then voices drifting above...

“...What? When?”

“Few hours ago.”

“By who?”

“I can’t tell ye, Farris.”

“Can’t or won’t?”

“Does it matter? He’s dead. Warren wants all the humans taken to the great hall. But since these poor sods are still blathered, let ‘em rest and come to. Then ye can tell ‘em the good news. I’ll let the Prince...well...I’ll let the King know to be expecting them later once the poor fuckers sober up a bit.”

“...it can’t be that simple, Keral. There’s plenty of others who are going resist.”

“Believe me. We have it covered. This wasn’t an on the fly operation. Your boys are safe.”

“What about...”

“I’ve already sent a message to Vaspien to send Bart back.”

“So he’s still alive?”

“Per my last report he was.”

“Gods fuckin’ be praised...”

“Heh, never thought I’d hear ye say that. Mum would be so proud of ye. Not the fuckin’ bit, but ye know..”

“Ah, shut up, will ye? I’m just glad this fuckin’ mandess had an end. I’m not sure how much longer I could’ve stood it. That batch of ‘em there. There’s a solider. A boy, Keral. Younger than any one of my boys out there.”

“Well, thankfully ye didn’t have to do it...”

“I was so close though...an hour more and...”

“I know. As soon as I could I came to tell ye.”

“...they don’t know yet.”

“What?”

“They don’t know about Haeral yet.”

“...they will. They’re gonna wake up to a whole new world, Farris.”

“Yeah. The first thing I’m gonna do?”

“Hm? What’s that?”

“Paint that damn fuckin’ door.”

[159potterhead]

Petrichor will make 13/25. What else?

Will you fight him for me?🥺 Yess! He looks very much like Matt Cohen.You remember Matt in S4 or S5 when he's possessed by Michael. He looked awesome over there and in my mind I always think him as archangel and not John idk why. And that's another problem yk how I don't like when people know I exist coz it freaks me out. So, my friends and peeps in my class knows about it which is okay but the things is every freaking person in that guy's batch also knows about me, like all the seniors idk how but I think he told everyone or his friends did but I don't like it at all.

Okay, so, we have this weird rule in college over here it's called third button rule, it's basically that we are not allowed to make eye contact with our seniors or any senior on the campus. We are supposed to look down, yk if we wear a shirt and the place where thrid button lies we're supposed to look down that much as if we're looking at the third button and hence the rule. (I hope you're getting it) and I was new I didn't knew much about it and if I saw a guy looking like Matt Cohen passing past me so yeah I'm gonna look at him. That time I didn't knew he was my senior. Other weird thing is that half of the time we're in lab which is just opposite to that guy's class and the back door of that class and the entry door of lab both are just opposite so if we're in lab we can see everything that's going on in that class.

And I only looked at him like only twice or thrice just to confirm if I'm not hallucinating about a spn character coz I was very deep into spn and I thought my subconscious brain is trying make up people on it's own so I'll feel better, that's only conclusion I drawn coz I was not getting enough sleep and you know how overwhelming clowning is, so, I thought I'm mourning over spn and that guy is not real. That's how I got on his radar and everything went down and he was pretty real when he started bullying me. All of the senior people are very insane yk once they told me write 50 slangs and curse words without repeating any one of them. It was very hard. They give very weird tasks😔

(I'm pretty sure your urge to punch that dude will go away when you see him. It's like Matt Cohen 2.0 or like Matt Cohen lite)

Can we can a theatre in our house where we can both watch movies. I always wanted something like that <3

I've never heard of this album before. I'm hearing the name for the first time. Do you like it? (Do you listen to imagine dragons? I am listing to this song rn so I'll put it here)

🎶Whatever it takes, 'Cause I love the adrenaline in my veins, I do whatever it takes🎶

i’m thinking...🤔

hell yeah I would!!! yeah that’s how I see him too!😆 woah even his friends know? are you his only target? or did he go after others as well? this seems so... odd👀

I got it dw, but woah that is such a weird rule🤨 what was the reason for it? ahaa... wait... don’t tell me you liked him...?

yeah that’s understandable ahah, and yes sleep deprivation does play a part in addition to being a clown🥲 so he noticed your glances and began bullying you??? WOAH WHAT ON EARTH???? jeez they’re out of their minds!! are you sure they’re college seniors???? why do they even give you tasks in the first place???!!!! this is so messed up, I swear I’d fight him this moment!!! thank god you wont see his messed up brain again!

(he can look like the hottest guy on earth for all I care, but I won’t hesitate if he crossed his line. I’m a completely different person when faced with jerks.)

of course we can!! do you want it to have rows of seats like an actual theatre? we could open a home cinema business!!✨✨✨

it’s a good album ngl. different than what they normally do, but change doesn’t necessarily mean for the worse, and this proved it. (yess!!! omg how many more things do we have in common???)

🎶working hard on something that I'm proud of, out of the box, an epoxy to the world and the vision we've lost. I'm an apostrophe, I'm just a symbol to remind you that there's more to see, I'm just a product of the system, a catastrophe🎶💕

[m1lkt3e]

Idk what to title this as but it’s a WIP for an upcoming fic.

TW for mentions of death and guns

...

Trapped in this...Prison, if you like to call it. But at least I have Soda, my brother on my side. I’m 15 now. Wow...It’s been three years already, three years since *it* happened. I remember it as if it happened yesterday...When I was 12…. ~~~ “Let’s give it E̶̢͕̞̫̞̰̝͙̙͝v̵̻̌ě̶̛̛̘̪̌͑͑͠ȓ̵̲͖͇̙̫̣͙̌̇ͅy̷̛̙̝̻͑̔̓͐̕̚͝͠t̴̩̃̆͊ḩ̸̛̟͈͔͖́̌̆ͅĩ̷͓̑͌̂ň̷̡̻̻̟͔͑̈́̋̅̕͝ĝ̵̛̭̯́̃̒͊̾̑̈̌ we g̷̛͙̞͖͇͋̉̉͂̐̍̒̚ͅǫ̶̥̮̂̑̾̈̄̅͘ẗ̶̖̩̝!̴̘̮̰͙̺̙̫͇̥̃̏͑͂̎̕͘͘ ̴͔̳͑̍͛͒͐̿͆̈́̚Ị̶̣̥͎͖̋ͅt̶̫͈͆͋̿͊̈́̀̽͗͝'̶̧̢͓̦͛̑̀̿ͅs̷̯̥̱̱̲̖̮̯͋̉̑̍̽͗̈́͜͝͠ͅ.̷͇̲̰̻̪̰͆̒͋͘.̴̗̙͐͑̃̔̇͝͝.̶̧̻̘͔̻̺̮͊͒̑̿͊̌͐̉̀͝ ₱Ʉ₦ł₴Ⱨ₥Ɇ₦₮ ₮ł₥Ɇ!!”

Their voice just sounded so...Glitchy, it wasn’t normal either...I vividly remember Yogurt sobbing. Just letting it all out. When they all just let down the gravel...It was over. It was fucking over. The masterminds are dead...We’re free...WE’RE FREE!

The excitement didn’t last long. ~~~ It isn’t *too* bad once you get around it, it’s mostly children around babies to legal adults, like Soda, I’ve haven seen any adults lately...Well except Soda of course.

“Do you feel...Bored?”

“No, why?”

“I don’t know,” I agitated the spoon around the mug in boredom. “It gets a little repetitive, y’know, three meals a day, sleep, then it happens all over again.”

“...Do you just want to escape?”

He was silent.

I found myself silent as well.

“What happened to everyone else?”

“...”

“...I heard that the third game fell into despair and now is destroying the world...Out of all people, why save us?” “Probably because it was their last hope.”

“But...If one god sacrificed themselves and they’re trying to restore hum—cookie life, why aren’t they doing enough?!”

“...”

“...”

Oh. Someone knocked.

I was still short, (Or, to be real, grew 2 inches.) so I still have to use extra support, but it wasn’t as necessary.

“Hello..?”

No response.

“Hello…???”

Ugh.

“Must be some prank.”

“Maybe.”

“Wait.”

I grabbed Soda’s wrist and glanced outside. Streets destroyed, remains littered, just...Ugh.

“Pe—”

“We need to leave.”

“Wait wha—”

“We need to leave, NOW. We’re all going to die here!”

I tugged on him, banging on the door to let us out.

“Let us out!! We’ll die here!”

It was no use.

We'll never escape.

I breathed heavily as I slid down the door, crying. I didn’t want to die here.

“Peppermint…”

“It’s no use..! We’ll be here forever! And—and…!”

“Peppermint.”

“H-huh?”

“You never gave in to despair right?”

“No..Why are you bringing that?”

“You’re 15. 15. You’re still here.”

“I guess you’re right..”

“Good.”

A clank was heard, then something opened.

“The door…!”

I got up, but Soda didn’t move.

“Why are you still standing there?! C’mon! Freedom’s right there!”

“Wait—Pepperm—”

“Well?!”

He sighed as he followed his sib.

——

“We’re out of there….Finally!”

“Do you not realize what DANGER could be out here?!”

“We can find an escape, and we can talk about it from there…but for now...

...Where are we?”

“...”

“I don’t know either, but we can walk around, I mean this place’s deserted anyways.”

We both started to walk, however, I was walking a little slower because I was still a bit out of breath.

“Where do we even look anyways?”

“We can just look around, of course being careful.”

“Ok..” —— “Wait—You never mentioned something.”

“What?”

“Those old wanted pictures...Who are they?”

“Oh them? They’re just the ‘high class’ except its a huge cult that every 4 years of so they all commit a huge massacre that basically kills the entire cookie species unless she makes a new batch, then they all commit suicide after. However, they all faked their deaths and now they’re fucking stuff up.”

“Are—are there any other survivors other than us?!”

“Not sure…”

“Let’s just keep walking.”

It took forever, but we found *some* way to escape.

“All the way over there..?! Shit—I don’t think my conch shell can do anything. Wait— Soda, do you still have your surfboard?!”

“Yeah—”

“Then c’mon! This is the only way of our escape!”

“You’re not thinking this th—”

“I am. Why do you think I’m going through this in the first place anyway?! Clearly the people that we call gods aren’t DOING ENOUGH. WHY SIT HERE AND LET THE WORLD GO TO WASTE WHEN WE SAVE IT WHILE WE STILL CAN?!”

“...”

“You can go your own way. I’ll go on my own.”

He didn’t bother questioning it, he went one way, I went another. —— I keep thinking,

‘How can I even—I can’t fight them all alone. Hell, I don’t even have any weapons to begin with! There’s at least 5 of them, and I’m pretty sure that one of them doesn’t even want to be there!

Are they even that powerful anyway? What the hell am I thinking?! Two of the members are the children of Dark Enchantress...No wonder why about 90% of the world is destroyed.

And where are all my classmates anyway?! I mean I get Squid Ink and Walnut because they’re still in the tower...Or at least one of them is. But where the hell is everyone else?! Mostly Yogurt Cream thought. Wait—why am I even worried about him?! He’s a spoiled whiny brat that doesn’t get far in life!

I’m pretty sure that everyone’s dead, because of them. No no, not the cult members, the ones from the third game, they got brainwashed or something on the lines.

Speaking of the brainwashed, they pretty much destroyed everything. Why wo—SHIT—Oh, nevermind. It’s just a rotting corpse.’

Ugh.

Wait—Is that one of the members? It’s kind of hard to tell…

I hid behind a destroyed part of a random building

“Is that the last of them?”

“Maybe.”

“I think I saw another one down the street, but it might be my imagination…”

“Hm alright.”

“Leader’s going to be proud of this…”

Good. They left.

I stood up, peeked over one last time, then ran across the street to a random building.

I breathed heavily as I felt like someone was behind me…

I’m fine…

Yeah. I’m fine.

They can’t kill me because I’m a child.

Even though I’m 15…

That counts as a child, right?

Someone, please tell me that counts as a child...Right…? Right..? Right?

Right?

——

The red lights dimmed for a second before turning up its brightness, blinding the cookie that was inside for a bit.

He blinked. He was pretty used to it by now.

The room was just red, he was just muttering to himself, a red room, like Satan's hellhole.

The only thing that he could really see was red.

It was just an all-white room with some type of lights that could change color with a remote.

Is this it?

Is this the hellhole he’ll be stuck in?

There is no escape to this anyways.

The lights turned up its brightness again, making him curl up and tried to prevent the lights from blinding him.

The lights stayed like that until it toned down. Not after shutting off after.

Well, the darkness is better than this.

But it wasn’t.

It keeps coming back.

It could grab him by the shoulders and he won’t know it.

He grabbed a hold of his lilac-colored hair with both hands and pulled on it. He couldn’t tell if he was crying or it was just sweat because of how humid the room was. He tugged on it for a bit longer before letting go.

Why was he even here in the first place?

He didn’t know.

It seemed like forever.

…. He forgot where he was at this point.

It just felt like a never-ending nightmare.

“Hey.”

He looked up. The door was open, a bright light blinded his eyes.

“Sorry. The lights stopped working, but that doesn’t mean that we’ll set you free.”

“...”

“Just enjoy the light for a bit while we fix it.”

This could be his chance!

Even though his legs are probably jello at this point, he still stood up and ran. He didn’t bother turning back. Even though he forgot the way the threw him in (Because he either forgot or he’s just stupid)

It was pointless running, but when he finally found the exit, he pushed it—well, not really because he lost all his strength.

He sighed, but he had to go. He can’t be here any longer.

… It was a rather large city, but almost no one was in sight, only drug dealers and loners walking down the street.

He slowed down his pace, by now he was far from the INC. by now.

He stopped walking to put up his hair, then sped walked after.

Zero coins in his pocket.

Fucking excellent.

It was dawn, he felt like someone was following him.

He ran.

He didn’t look back.

Well, he did,

But just to find no one there.

He sighed and kept speed walking.

…

He found a small bench, normally he would REFUSE to associate with anything that’s “below his standards” but this was an exception.

It was the only choice he had.'

He still missed lilac, hell, even Pomegranate. Y’know, the one who basically ruined his life. He just sat there, Just spacing off.

He took off his uniform jacket and tied it around his waist.

He was talking to himself, thinking about how everything Just went...Wrong.

——

Huh?

Is this another town…? And it isn’t destroyed?

Who’s that…?

“Hey!”

The cookie flinched, pretty sure they’re shaking, Wait—have I’ve seen this cookie before...They look familiar…

“Hey...It’s ok! I’m not one of them!”

“T-them?!”

“Um yeah!—The cult leaders? You know them??”

“H-how the hell are you just gonna walk up to a random person and ask them if they know that—that CULT?!”

“Ok ok sorry…But you still look familiar..Have I seen you somewhere before?!”

“Huh?”

“The killing games...Remember…? The project, you uhm...Didn’t wake up aft—”

“D-don’t remind me…”

“S-sorry.”

“Why are you so apologetic f—”

“Wait.”

“...”

“What happened to you..??”

“O-oh that...Uhm wh-where do I even fucking explain?! The entire ‘coma incident’, THAT, and I was kidnapped by some weird cookies that said that I’m ‘Associated with the cult leader.’”

“Hold on, ‘associated with the cult leader’?!”

“Yeah why?? Are you o-one of them too?!”

“W-what?! No! I’m from that building that keeps kids in to prevent further extinction of the cookie species until she makes another batch…”

“Oh.”

“...To prevent what happened years ago…”

“...”

“How come you aren’t dead, like the rest of them..?”

“I escaped.”

“Huh? Escape what?”

“I didn’t get kidnapped from them, but by some foundation that I don’t know the name of…But I would’ve killed myself if I stayed there...”

Oh.

“I still haven’t gotten—Wait, I think I remembered now...Yogurt Cream right?”

“Yeah—Wait, how did you get my name NOW?!”

“It’s been three years, of COURSE I’ll forget.”

“Fair…”

“How—how long had you been there..?”

He took a second to respond, looked like he was about to break down.

“Yogurt….How long have you been there…? When did they—they ‘kidnap’ you…?”

“Literally after a month, after all that happened—”

He broke down.

“W-why..out of everyone, they choose me…”

He looked up to me.

“Why couldn’t they have taken YOU?!”

“ME?!”

“You were associated with the cult leader the most..how aren’t you...you—”

“I WAS STILL A CHILD! I DIDN’T REALIZE WHAT THE HELL THEY WERE GOING TO DO AFTER! YOU CAN’T BLAME ME FOR THIS!”

“...”

“...”

“What did..what did they do?”

“N-nothing really. Just put me in this room and just kept me there for so..long.”

“Well..You’re out now...And god knows if they’re still following you.”

“...”

“Oh, and by any chance do you know this place?”

“No—No of course not. This was just a town that I randomly went to. W-what makes you think that I know where this place is?!”

“Ah, your stupidity is still there. Great.”

“H-hey! I’m not dumb!”

“Ok...You know what a vote is?”

“A..Vote...You still trade those with bear jellies…??”

“You’re hopeless.”

“D-don’t blame me! Blame those idiots that kept me in that prison for god knows how long!”

“That’s fair.”

“WAIT.”

“What now?!”

“We don’t have anything to defend ourselves…”

“Oh.”

“Where do we look..?”

——

Cult.

What’s the first thing that comes to your mind? Something that summons stuff? Imprisonment? Daily Russian Roulette that leaves poor innocent cookies dropping down dead? Anything?

You may think of a huge number of people, but this cult isn’t the case.

You see, this marks the third year, and usually, the cult doesn’t do the massacre until another year later. However, the Cult Leader, [redacted] was too impatient a full of despair to wait another year to start the massacre, so their twin sister, [redacted] ordered her to keep all the child cookies in a building, originally it was going to be underground, but due to no time and the leader running out of ideas, they choose a 60-floor building to keep them all in.

Oh, and for your information, the cult only has 5 members.

“Russian Roulette anyone?” the leader asked the other 4.

“No.”

“No thanks.”

“This is the third time [redacted], it’s getting boring.”

“Anything that leader wishes!” [redacted] sprouted up.

“Seriously [redacted]?!”

“You’re insane.”

“[redacted], dear, aren’t you bored of Russian roulette…?”

[redacted] leaned closer to her peers, then said in a low toned voice—

“I’ll do anything that [redacted] wishes. It’s our job to have their wishes granted. If they want to start the massacre early, let it be it. If they want to kill the children, we’ll kill the children.”

“I-I’m pretty sure that they don’t want to kill the children, [redacted]!”

“Yeah, he’s right [redacted]. There’s no point in killing the children if we just die altogether and no one’s on this terrible...thing of earth.”

“I guess you’re right.”

“Since that’s out the way,” [redacted] slid the gun down the table, perfectly stopping in the middle of it. “Russian Roulette?”

“[redacted] for the 2nd time, no.”

“Ugh fine.”

“Guuuyyys if [redacted] wants to do Russian roulette then we should!!”

“[redacted], were not doing Russian Roulette for the third time this week alone!”

“You’re all boring, I swear.” [redacted] twirled the gun with their fingers and slid it across the room for some odd reason rather than placing it back in its case.

“Why are you so extra for it? All we said was that we didn’t want to play Russian Roulette for the third time this week alone.”

“Got any other suggestions then?!”

“We can ki—”

“[redacted] I swear to fucking god if you say ‘kill the children!1!’ I will unleash my almost whole-life pent up anger.”

“Ok ok sorry.”

“Fine fine, we’ll do it [redacted]. But this is the last time we’re doing it this week, ok?!”

“Oh good.” —— They were all sitting in a circle, with the gun in the middle of it. It was rather dimmed, but they all didn’t care.

Of course, the first to go was the cult ruler.

They pulled the trigger.

Click.

Nothing.

They sighed as they passed the gun to their twin sister. She pulled the trigger.

Click.

Nothing again.

This went on until the 4th round.

[redacted] pulled the trigger again.

Click.

“Again…?” At this point they were getting bored, it’s been 3 rounds and no one died yet.

Their older twin gave a low chuckle as they held the gun to her head and pulled.

Click.

“Hm.”

She passed the gun to the youngest of them, he did the same that [redacted] did and pulled.

Nothing.

He seemed to be relieved by that . His lover was next. She pulled the trigger. Another lick was made. The repeated clicking made [redacted] annoyed. There’s more clicking than shooting!

Finally, the last member of the cult went. She pulled the trigger.

BANG.

“...”

“There goes, Alchemist.”

“So you’re not going to do anything about it?! One of your members just died! From Russian Roulette!!”

“It’s despair fueling.”

——

“Where are we going first..?”

“How should I know? We should be a least far from...there..”

“There?”

“...I don’t want to talk about it.”

“That’s fair...I wouldn’t give advice anyways.”

“Wait wha—?!”

“Nothing.”

“W-whatever...”

“Hey...Since we’re on the topic of the Cu—”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Ah...S-sorry.” ——

“So what do we do with the body since this was [redacted]’s idea…?”

“Since my sibling isn’t here...I’ll put up a memorial for her…. She was close to them. When they said that ‘it’s despair fueling’, it isn’t ‘despair fueling’. They’re upset.”

“Wait, they’re upset?!”

“Yeah..? if they weren’t almost all of us would be dead by now.”

“Y-yeah, you’re right [redacted]...”

“Hm.”

“I’ll go talk to them. They open up to me more than most of you here.” [redacted] walked out the door, stepping over Alchemist's body.

[redacted] followed her, also stepping over the body.

~~~

“[redacted]?”

“...”

“Can we talk? It's important.”

“...”

“[redacted]?” She sat next, but kind of far from them, “Are you ok?”

“...” Nothing. “...Yeah.”

“Really…? Your tone says otherwise.”

“Mmhm.”

“Please actually talk to me.”

“I’m fine.” They turned to her. They open up more with their sister than anyone.

“Stop lying.”

“I’m not.”

“You’re being stubborn. Just tell me what’s wrong.”

“...”

“Mom was right. I should’ve sent you instead of him. It’s a shame that I was your twin anyways.”

They walked out immediately after. [redacted] sighed and closed their door.

[redacted] laid down and hugged onto a pillow, nearly crying too.

——

“Where—where are we..?” I asked him, he seemed shaken up a bit but I didn’t realize.

He didn’t respond.

“...”

“Are...You ok..?”

“...Yeah.”

“Hm...M’kay.”

“Wait...Do you recognize this building..?”

“Wait... what..?”

“That one.” I pointed to a 50-story building. “Do you...Recognize it?”

“N-no...I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

“You sure..?”

“...Yes.”

“...Ok—hold on... Who’s that..?”

“...fuck.”

I turned to him, “What was that..?”

“Nothing. You heard nothing.”

“...Doesn’t that look like someone...Clearing a...Dead bod—”

“WILL YOU STOP TALKING ABOUT IT NOW?!”

I jumped, “Ok ok! No need to get aggressive…”

“Oh...Look who it is...My dear brother.”

“...”

“Hmm? You know this person?”

“...Unfortunately.”

“I believe we never met..Peppermint is it?”

“Huh? How’d you know my name?”

“My twin knows all about you..the traitor right?”

“Traitor..?”

“Yes…”

“Wait...I don’t know your name...So how can I trust you..?”

“Oh right...My apologies...My name is Pomegranate.”

“You already know my name so...I have a question…”

“Hm?”

“You know Yogurt? You called him brother earlier…So are you two related in any way?”

“Don’t bring—”

“Oh yes...Him and [redacted] are related to me...However, something happened between our childhood and I somewhat remained.”

“How’d you...remained? Were you the favorite child or something?”

“Possibly so…”

“Please stop talking about it…” Yogurt muttered under his breath, but neither of us heard him.

“Are there other people inside?”

“Yeah...If you were looking for the cult after all..”

“Wait...The cult?!”

“Yes. If that’s what you’re looking fo—”

“Yes. That was exactly what I was looking for.” I lied.

-Random time skip-

Pomegranate followed both of them into floor 49. It was pretty high up, as you can tell, you’ll get a great view of the destroyed city with dead bodies and blood everywhere.

“The leader is...Somewhere. They’re just upset.”

“Fair.”

“I don’t think you’ve heard of the others yet…” Pomegranate lowered her voice.

“Are they here?”

“Hold on. Stay here with my brother...ok?” I nodded as she walked off to a separate room.

“Why does she call you your—Hey…! Where’re you going?!”

He didn’t answer as he walked back to the elevator.

I sighed…

Pomegranate came back with two other cookies, who I’ve seen before...But I forgot their names. Definitely seen them before…

“Wait…Isn’t this the kid that the leader wants us to kill?” One of them asked.

“Wait what?! For what?!” I stepped back.

“Well get to that later, anyway, these two idiots members are Mint Choco and Cocoa.”

“Wait, what about that part that one of them said?! That the leader wants to kill me?!”

“Oh, [redacted]. You’re just in time...We were just giving introductions too…”

“...”

Seems like they’re not in the mood.

“Well, Uhm....This is my younger twin...Lilac aka the cult...leader.” it was awkward for a bit until they spoke.

“I could’ve done it but..thanks.”

They didn’t seem too grateful about it. About the time Yogurt came back, he wished that he would’ve just stayed there . “I-I thought you D-DIED—?!?!”

“Died..? You already forgot that those two games were simulators correct?”

“I—”

“Besides,” They sat at a near table, “how’d you escape..?!”

“W-why the fuck should I tell you?! You’re the last person I trust—!”

“I’ll just go…” I stepped back a bit, trying not to alarm the Cult.

“Where’re you going..?!” one of them grabbed me by the arm.

“Hey. We still need you for our family business~!” The leader said clapping their hands together.

“What?”

“What ‘business’...?”

“I know for a fact that there isn’t any ‘family business’.”

“Huh?! What are you talking about?! What family business?!”

“What? You don’t know what I’m talking about?!”

“No. What are you talking about Lilac?!”

[roman-catholic-mass-readings]

7th September >> Mass Readings (Europe, Africa, New Zealand, Australia & Canada)

Monday, Twenty Third Week in Ordinary Time 

(Liturgical Colour: Green)

First Reading

1 Corinthians 5:1-8

Get rid of the old yeast of evil and wickedness

I have been told as an undoubted fact that one of you is living with his father’s wife. This is a case of sexual immorality among you that must be unparalleled even among pagans. How can you be so proud of yourselves? You should be in mourning. A man who does a thing like that ought to have been expelled from the community. Though I am far away in body, I am with you in spirit, and have already condemned the man who did this thing as if I were actually present. When you are assembled together in the name of the Lord Jesus, and I am spiritually present with you, then with the power of our Lord Jesus he is to be handed over to Satan so that his sensual body may be destroyed and his spirit saved on the day of the Lord.

The pride that you take in yourselves is hardly to your credit. You must know how even a small amount of yeast is enough to leaven all the dough, so get rid of all the old yeast, and make yourselves into a completely new batch of bread, unleavened as you are meant to be. Christ, our passover, has been sacrificed; let us celebrate the feast, then, by getting rid of all the old yeast of evil and wickedness, having only the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth.

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

Responsorial Psalm

Psalm 5:5-7,12

R/ Lead me, Lord, in your justice.

You are no God who loves evil;

no sinner is your guest.

The boastful shall not stand their ground

before your face.

R/ Lead me, Lord, in your justice.

You hate all who do evil;

you destroy all who lie.

The deceitful and bloodthirsty man

the Lord detests.

R/ Lead me, Lord, in your justice.

All those you protect shall be glad

and ring out their joy.

You shelter them; in you they rejoice,

those who love your name.

R/ Lead me, Lord, in your justice.

Gospel Acclamation

Psalm 118:105

Alleluia, alleluia!

Your word is a lamp for my steps

and a light for my path.

Alleluia!

Or:

John 10:27

Alleluia, alleluia!

The sheep that belong to me listen to my voice,

says the Lord,

I know them and they follow me.

Alleluia!

Gospel

Luke 6:6-11

Is it against the law on the sabbath to save life?

On the sabbath Jesus went into the synagogue and began to teach, and a man was there whose right hand was withered. The scribes and the Pharisees were watching him to see if he would cure a man on the sabbath, hoping to find something to use against him. But he knew their thoughts; and he said to the man with the withered hand, ‘Stand up! Come out into the middle.’ And he came out and stood there. Then Jesus said to them, ‘I put it to you: is it against the law on the sabbath to do good, or to do evil; to save life, or to destroy it?’ Then he looked round at them all and said to the man, ‘Stretch out your hand.’ He did so, and his hand was better. But they were furious, and began to discuss the best way of dealing with Jesus.

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

[empressxmachina]

by Imperial-Radiance (that’s me :D) | On DeviantArt  | Also On Wattpad 

   Time was passing, and Madi felt like her chances of being found were slowly declining with it. 

    She was sure that it was now too late for any normal N.U. patron to just walk around. But she also knew that anyone on the losing team itself, especially the coaches, had pretty much free reign to enter whenever, and whether the K.U. teams’ visiting reservations had expired already was unknown. 

    The facility was so grandiose, and the doors in the locker room to the halls were soundproofing as far as she knew. She assumed the latter since no one came in and called out her team’s antics in there before the game, despite them being absolutely loud and proud, and she could only wonder how they were after winning. So, there was no way for her to know whether someone was coming or if people were, possibly still, fighting outside.

    Madi didn’t think of Jake as an idiot or anything; however, she didn’t believe that he or any of the team was clever enough to pack a non-K.U.-affiliated set of clothes to walk and talk around inconspicuously like she did for Cari. Thus, if any Nashers were just as heated now as they were before and approached him, then there was a high probability of him getting caught in a brawl of his own. Madi prayed that that wasn’t the case for him so he could find her. Meanwhile, she hoped it wasn’t so calm that any passersby would think nothing of the locker room and lock its doors and trap her in. 

    She had enough reasons to be generally anxious about, well, everything, and she didn’t need this to be more of a horror story. 

    In a move to keep her mind off such awful ideas, including the recently cyclical and grossly petty thought of a Knight finding her and holding her for threat-laced ransom, she decided to tiredly trek across the gummy floor, re-collect her scattered things together, huddle in the corner of a leg of a bench, and play some music on her phone with its battery coming in clutch. 

    Although her size was now alien, the music allowed her to keep some semblances of humanity and happiness since the only thing that changed about it was its volume. Yet, that wasn’t a concern, either. Despite her phone being as diminished as she was, its earbuds had kept their snug fit and crisp sound. Though, she was positive that if she removed them from their audio jack, then their sounds would carry through the room as much as her voice did, aka not at all.

    Nevertheless, Madi kept her cool as well as she could, jamming out until a song that she had remembered being chill suddenly had a budding interjection of bass, sort of like a drum solo. It went well with the beat, but the last thing she needed at the moment was to be shaken by surprise from big vibrations. She looked at her phone to see if she had accidentally downloaded a remix, and she hadn’t. It wasn't until more bass came through that Madi was influenced to remove the buds and realized what was happening.

    The song was inaudible, yet the resonations stayed, encompassing her. Someone had finally entered the locker room.

    Aside from the distant, echoing squeaks of sneakers entering and the door closing behind them, the room was quiet. Yet, Madi would’ve bet that one would’ve been able to hear a pin drop before her voice if she spoke. It was too risky to just speak out or run into the light again. So, she waited for identification, and she found herself on a lucky streak.

    “Madi?” the familiar but magnified voice of Jake asked with resonance. “Are you in here?”

    “Y-Yes!” she cried in reply, leaning out into the open with her phone in hand and earbuds dragging across the tacky tiles behind her. “I’m here!”

    In her attempt to be rescued, the cup-sized cheerleader verified how powerless she was. Her voice didn't even bounce off the nearest locker or reverberate in the hollow underside of the bench. That, or too much was in her way of him to reach him. Either way, it was unsurprising when Jake called out for her again.

    “Mads?” he tried a second time, scurrying down the section of the locker room opposite and most distant from Madi to search. “Come on, now. Where are you, girl?” Madi could hear him jogging through the rows of lockers, getting further and further away from her and groaning along the way. “This is not the time for hide-and-seek. Give me something to work with.”

    “I-I am, damn it! I'm not even close to playing a game right now!” Madi understood his frustrations, but hers were much worse. 

    To try marching to the end of her row to get closer to him, Madi started by detaching herself from the gross ground. The farther she went down the lane, the more she could hear her friend coming back up toward the intersection of lockers where the entrance stood. When she finally reached the end of the locker chain, Jake simultaneously arrived back at the beginning of his. Although he wasn’t in open view, back in front of the door, she was still finally able to see a semblance of his immense form, now on a godly level. 

    His facial features were too far away for Madi to perceive in a good resolution, but she could make out the top of a hat peeking over the tops of the lockers without Jake stretching. Meanwhile, Madi could barely reach the lower groove of one of their doors with her arms raised. But she didn't stop trying to get his attention, now flailing around like a marionette. At one point, she could tell that Jake had turned his head in her direction, and Madi's heart nearly exploded from hope and over-inflation.

    “Does… Does he finally see me… or hear me, even?” she wondered, thirsting for release from this hell. 

    He lingered toward her side of the room for a lengthy amount of time, pulling at her heartstrings as he appeared to pull various poses of confusion in the chilled air above her. However, her hopes dropped when his eyes didn’t lock on hers and he began going toward the exit.

    “Madeline Yu,” Jake started with a dark undertone, glancing down the first few rows on Madi’s side, barely being able to view further than the third pair of lockers on each and not even caring about it, “I swear to God if you are not in that last locker room, then I’m having your ass!” 

    Usually, Madi only heard Jake get heated like that in a late-night bedroom. But being out in the open and at such a small size, even if he didn’t know it, made him appear even more intimidating, almost hell-bent on punishing her. 

    “My cred on the field tonight is not going to save me from being fucking benched or some shit!” he continued. “Do you even know what I had to say for them to even let me come out here!?”

    Madi hadn’t wanted Jake to lie, but she hoped that he didn't tell anyone anything too ridiculous. Yet, no matter what he said, it could never compare to the reality that was her shrunken self. Still, Jake was obviously angered, and if he stayed true to his tendencies, then it wouldn't be long before he stormed off. So, Madi had to figure something out quickly. 

    “For fuck’s sake, Jake!” she huffed, having to turn around and run to the other side of the aisle to even see him now. “Of all the times I’ve asked you to be a little bitch for me, you save your cue for right now!?” 

    As Madi ran along the lockers' sides, she could hear slams on metal, assumed to be Jake going back, doing a final once-over, rushing said search, and gripping on the corners of lockers to peek around them. If they both kept up their paces, then it wouldn't be too long before their sights intersected. However, just as she hoped wouldn't happen, the clanging stopped, and an echoing, exasperated sigh signaled Jake's forfeit. 

    “I'm not doing this!” he announced, throwing his hands up in defeat and disappointment and re-approaching the door. “There is nothing you could do that’s worth me making a fucking fool of myself!”  

    “No, no, Jake! Please!” Madi shrilled as she heard his footfalls begin to retreat away from her. Her pace back the other way hastened to fight his much longer strides but not without consequence. 

    That quickened pace resulted in her encountering the minefield that was the sea of spilled soda much faster than she would've hypothesized. With all her focus on getting to her now more humongous friend, it had been of little priority, despite a few millimeters of it probably being enough to down her outside and drown her inside. If she wasn't careful, then that was what it was going to do, as the itty-bitty beauty suddenly lost her balance and slipped, with her foot and ankle getting stuck on a particularly tacky but invisible spot. 

    Once again, she found herself wading in a bubbly batch, re-soaking her previously hardened cheerleading wear.

    Gritting her teeth through the sprain in her ankle, she pushed up from the ground with one hand sunken in the Gak-like goop. Her other hand gripped her phone with its lengthy earbuds dangling behind it, now sticky and wet yet still playing barely audible tunes. Looking down at them gave her a one-shot-one-opportunity idea that was just insane enough to possibly work. Jake couldn’t hear her, but he could probably hear her phone.

    “For the love of all things good,” Madi begged, clasping both hands over her heart, “please let those two semesters of Physics have some clout at this moment.” 

    Madi stared down her target in the distance: the stagnant slice of her carcinogen of a soda can. Its pop-top faced her and its cut that separated the two halves and flooded the floor. Channeling the spirits of both the football team and the baseball team, she yanked her headphones out of their jack, focused on the skateboard-sized sipping hole, and threw her now music-blasting phone toward it in a spin and at a speed that any coach of any sport would've been proud of. 

    Its flight through the air even impressed Madi, only having dealt with balls of a sporting nature on occasion. However, when the phone went right through its goal as she wanted, she couldn’t immediately celebrate with a touchdown dance. 

    Music was no longer playing. She didn’t think she had paused her playlist, and she didn’t hear the phone break on impact, but all she got back was silence. Not even an ad. 

    Quiet was her only companion, and thus her entire act of technical prowess was marked useless, making her wonder why she didn’t just try calling Jake again since that had obviously worked. With a presence lost in the wind and hopes shattered, there wasn’t anything else she could do. As the footsteps of her only chance of liberation grew further and further away to meet the creaking of an opening door, Madi dropped down to her knees and flopped back into the puddle of pop, her falling tears muffled by face-shadowing hands yet harmonizing with the retreating bass. 

    But just before the final boom of a door closing should’ve come, drowning out Madi’s minuscule whimpers, something else broke through the relative silence. Bouncing off the aluminum and inner plastic of the slashed cylinder, finally, after faulty buffering, the sound waves of a song from way-back-when rang.

    The melody didn’t even have to finish its introduction to be instantly recognizable, and Jake, due to karaoke at orientation years ago, matched it right to a certain someone. 

    “Oh. So, you want me to find you, now?” he laughed, reclosing the cracked door and backing back into the room. “You know I can’t resist a sweet throwback, even one as poppy as this.” 

    Re-facing the expanse and the unseen music performance, he crossed his arms over his chest and began a new exploration, scanning the area for where the music was coming from or, more importantly, any sight of Madi. Through his refined searching, it was proving true, to his surprise, that the sound wasn’t emanating from any speaker Nash had, and his friend still wasn’t visible. 

    If her face wasn’t dripping in carbonated cola, causing her to really feel like the after-party garbage she thought she was, Madi would’ve laughed at his playful comments. Nonetheless, she praised the heavens for her luck ex machina. Now realizing that the chances of him finding her increased tenfold, she jumped to shake off excess brownness from her upper half, let adrenaline and hope distract her from her sprain, and trudge toward her phone to be more noticeable. Since the can had magnified the phone’s volume, she was confident it could magnify hers as well.

    The question now was if she could even reach its opening and get to it.

    “This can’t go on for too much longer, Mads,” Jake sighed, continuing the hunt. “If the cheerleaders left behind one of their own, then my team can easily do the same to me.” 

    As true as his remarks were and the vexation in his voice was apparent, Jake still had his friend’s safety as number one. She was here, or he was being played like a fiddle, and he wasn’t going to leave until he found out which was the truth. 

    With the cheerful tunes of younger years as a signal or a siren’s song, he pressed on, passing rows one-by-one, curiosity as high as he was tall. “Where in the hell are you?” 

    As Jake traversed deeper into the locker room, the music grew louder, dampening his footfalls, much to his liking. However, when it seemed to be coming from right next to him – right in front of him, once he turned to face it – no electronic appliance was visible, and neither was Madi. All that he was met with was a soda can’s suicide. 

    The husk of its metal body was split in two as its syrup blood spread in all directions. Yet, the music was apparent, somehow calling out to him by his feet. Despite how unusual it was, logic was pulling Jake only one way. So, that’s where he went, squatting with his heels down toward the sound.

    The volume of the song increased as he did so, and moving some hair out the way of his ears only raised it more. With the new level of stimuli, however, what Jake didn’t expect to see was where it was coming from. 

    Through a withdrawn squint, he made out a small box making music and ripples in a tiny crater of liquid within the top half of the can. It was obviously more than just a box, but its size couldn’t have been larger than his fingernail or the now-closed piercing he thought was a good idea to get in high school. He rationalized the idea of the sounds bouncing off the can’s insides, yet the technological marvel still shouldn’t have been as loud as it was. 

    Jake began to reach and pinch it up for further inspection, partially fearful that he’d crush it upon contact, but he paused when he got distracted by another unexpected sight: some sort of tiny tendril flopping around through the can’s drinking opening. 

    The jock sat in awe of the tiny tentacle of sorts wiggling back and forth – a stamen of a flower with no stem in sight. While its narrowness resembled that of a sewing pin, its fluidity was like ribbon. Yet, there was something corporeal about it as it seemed driven to grab something, and the bitty box just in front of it looked like that thing. He considered pushing the box closer to the flailing feeler but thought against it in the end. The box had to be Madi’s, whatever it was, and until he found her, it was his. 

    All the while, Jake didn’t miss how the wee waver also appeared to be intentionally avoiding the hole’s surrounding edges as if it didn’t want to hurt itself, exemplifying some inner intelligence and keeping his eyes glued to it. Such an anomaly the animate vine was, intriguing enough for him to want to save its image and research it another day. But before capturing it on his phone’s camera came to mind, a new sight caught his eye. There was more to the flapping frond that just its calculated wiggles. 

    Despite it being soda-coated, Jake, somehow, made out a golden hue across its surface, one a bit too comparable to that of the pullover he was wearing.

    More curious than ever now, Jake had to see this thing up close. Yet, he was too cautious to not make a move for it. After all, he wasn’t sure what it was. If it became necessary, then he could’ve easily used any of his lanky appendages to swipe, kick, or crush the minute limb or whatever being it was connected to. Though, he truly hoped it wouldn’t ever have to come to that. His broad, bulky stature told one story, but Jake was mostly a gentle soul, only ever bouncing back on a person if they bounced on him first in every sense of the term. With this thing, however, the odds of an attack appeared to be on his side, and he gambled on that confidence by leaning forward to get a better view, looking past the rim of its surrounding can to see what he was dealing with.

    What he got was the last thing he ever expected, but it made Madi’s mania all the more valid. 

    A bantam hip of fallow hue with a sliver of an onyx etching down it peeked out from under a regal violet and gold covering. An intricately stitched and detailed piece of fabric that wrapped around and fully shielded a pair of taut glutes except for in a slit on the side that had been turned too far. Their crests fittingly marked the apex and start of two sculpted legs, complete with socks and shoes. Up from the hip, a sea of ebony, chocolate-streaked waves connected at a crown where two other tiny appendages popped out: arms, of which one of them whipped and wound like the snakelike creature Jake had thought it was.

    It just seemed too bizarre to be real – everything about the night had been like a dream – but this didn’t feel like a fantasy. He knew that figure anywhere, yet it was akin to a figurine now, one able to hide behind any of his fingers. Even so, he couldn’t mistake that ass. 

    The varsity co-ed uniform, even in its stained state, was recognizable enough, but with the long, flowing hair, the music, and those cakes, it just screamed ‘Madeline’. All the nicknames he’d given her regarding their previously just-slightly-more-than-a-ruler’s-length height difference had a whole, new meaning now if his eyes weren’t deceiving him. However, there was only one way to find out for sure, and he hoped, thinking about how her body should be working, he wouldn’t make her go deaf… if he already hadn’t. 

     “Madi?”

[drhstories]

An attempt to sUmmarize the impossiBle

It’s weird to think that a third of my life has involved the program. I don’t take much time to internalize the impact that it has had on my life as I think through my past, but without UB I would not be where I am today. It’s not in the sense that I’d never be in college or never have accomplished what I have so far. It’s more like UB is my main reminder how much I care about students, their well-being, their future, and their position and transition from where they are going into college.

As an education major, you only really interact with students during your time there twice during the duration of being a student. The first time is before you board into the COE, and the second is when you student teach at the end of your degree. Your first placement isn’t even in a high school if you are in secondary, so if that is your intention, you don’t really see students of that age to confirm your decision to work with them (after 4 years of college mind you) until then.

My opinion of UB and appreciation for the program has changed highly due to my position as an educator, eventually. Though I generally am lax during UB, I understand high school students are high school students and they will do what they want to do, making bad decisions or terribly radical choices, but they learn from their choices. I think back to how much I know about relationships now from a secular standpoint instead of from my religious background and a large majority of my understanding of how to be a boyfriend or future fiance and husband comes from being a bad boyfriend or being treated poorly in the past. I made many a bad decision throughout high school, mostly all involving relationships, and I spent a lot of time, money, and heartache (both within and outside of UB) in relationships that I thought mattered.

The corollary to that is the fact that high school students, from my opinion, needed to be treated like their decisions matter. Generally speaking, high school students assume that their decisions are make or break, that their life will be destroyed if they fail a test or break up with a significant other or whatever. Every event is the coolest or biggest thing that has happened since sliced bread, and I think where people fail to communicate with high schoolers is that they try to step into that learning experience where errors are necessary for growth.

I don’t always write chronologically, I see myself as a blur of thoughts that somehow weave together into a theme. It’s why I can only ever write a verse instead of a full song, and also why I like slam poetry so much since one minute you could be talking about types of cheese, and the next stanza is you slamming the government for its’ treatment of their citizens. So, backtrack farther.

I throughout Upward Bound learned a lot about life and friends that I didn’t consider before as somebody that learns primarily by example. Specific topics include that you should break up with somebody before you start talking to another person, or that you should not give every ounce of your energy into everything that you do (I still struggle with this one). I didn’t care much about my 11th and 12th grade year. My GPA went from a 4.0 to a 3.5 in 3 semesters, which is /pretty impressive/. I wanted to go to UTC due to having a large community of friends there and also reports of having a phenomenal Education program, but personal laziness stopped me from applying. I only got into ETSU because my Bridge application got me into the university, and it has the convenient benefit of being 10 minutes from my house, which I can’t complain too much about the “free room/board and meal plan”  that I have from living there. Outside of my personal laziness, I know students that would have never went to college coming from families with drug issues or domestic issues that were inspired to succeed on their own and the program is a tool to launch their determination into high gear. 

This is the part where I start talking to you, the reader, which for the sake of me sharing this is to be assumed as somebody as a part of the program in some facility. Though Dr. Gross says that these people may be some of your friends for the rest of your life, in some cases they are, but for me they weren’t. What I will always remember are little things that inspire me to keep doing what I’m doing, though being more serious eventually. The things like “Zander, I’m want you to be on our bus.” or “Will you come take a picture with us?” or “I’ll miss you a lot when you aren’t here next year.” help remind me that since I’ve heard these things from such a large variety of students that whatever I’m doing, personality wise or just my approach to this job is working.

I definitely and admittedly am not as professional as I should be for this job, which leans into why I think that students enjoy my company, but you all truly do not understand the impact that you make on the staff and RA’s lives in a similar way that we seem to make on you. I thank you all for every compliment you have ever given to a staff member here, me or anybody, since it truly keeps us motivated. Between my two jobs, I was working from 7AM-11PM with two hours worth of breaks throughout the day combined, and it was a nightmare especially on my seven night duties, but every time I went into work with a smile and the best attitude that I could and it was responded with joy and all positives back from the students.

I think the whole point of all of these cluttered thoughts is a large thank you, from myself but on behalf of all of the staff, for just being a great group of students. I think back to my seemingly normal life of me getting into UB with a family that was together, a brother not in a wheelchair, and a fine lower middle class life and I wonder how I got into UB. I’m not going to go too much into it, but I think that God (please don’t stop reading) put me in Upward Bound to help show me my passion for students of this age and continue to remind me how much I care for each and every student.

I love each and every day that I have had working with the program. The best part of this job is you all, the students. This program has no purpose, meaning, and can not exist without you all taking a step towards the success of your future and joining UB. I know that sounds unnecessarily like I’m giving the beginning of the summer speech, but between all the classes and CWS and Bridge and having staff ready to help you and living in dorms for a month and traveling around the country doing who knows what, there are so many new experiences that you would not have been able to have had you not signed up for this program.

On the most personal note, and a concluding one, each group every summer just spills my heart with joy of being to hang out. Though I definitely act your age more often than my own, I can sense that you all know that I’m somebody you can come to in a time of need, and that when you need a pick me up or a bad joke, I’m your guy. All that I could ask for from being a staff member of UB is for students to know that I care about them, and I think that this summer I’ve done that better than before. My goal was to make myself seem like a better friend to all instead of a few, and I’m not a crier outside of relationships but I can tell you all that I am deeply saddened that I will most likely not be involved with UB next summer. You all are a truly unforgettable batch of students, and I could never ask for a group as hilarious and caring and joyful to be around as you all.

The UB program is not a program made up of summer staff, we are temporary and change yearly. It is a program of students, whose united front to succeed and make their lives better than their present situation would make out for them come together to be as strong as they can be and make themselves as bold as they can to move out into college in the real world. Outside of my friendships with each and every one of you, I am proud to have been a teacher, a mentor, a leader, and a numerous variety of other titles as you all grow through your time in UB.

Peace out,

Hopefully see everybody next year, but if not I know I’ll see you all doing great things in whatever you decide to do.

ZB