#Got back my tumblr account after not being on for so long bc i forgot the password oops

[aquariiyum]

Haven't posted in like...forerver

Gotta fix that

Anyways made some Splatoon designs recently

Prices listed down below

Bubble Octoling: $30 USD

Hibiscus Inkling: $30 USD

Accepting PayPal or Cashapp

Dm if interested

[corrodedbisexual]

The ultimate shadow ban survivor guide

I've seen multiple people I follow, or their mutuals affected by shadow bans lately (makes me wonder if it's @staff's attempts to fight bots going totally haywire). As someone who survived a 2-month-long shadow ban on my main this winter, I thought I'd make a post.

First step of being shadow banned: calm down and take a breath. A shadow ban is just a stupid glitch in tumblr's anti-spam system. You're not losing your blog. You're gonna need a whole lot of patience, and deal with inconveniences, but it's fixable.

Read the incredibly useful post All About Shadowban by @that-damn-girl. It outlines the symptoms quite well. The only thing I'd point out is "your original posts won’t be visible to your followers either" - afaik that doesn't happen. Everything you post and reblog will still be visible to your followers, and also they can interact with your posts - like them, reblog them, reply to them.

Just like the post says, contact support. I recommend using a different email than what your banned blog is registered to; not because your ticket won't go through (mine actually did, as I found out when they finally replied), but because you might not receive an email confirmation for your ticket (it's somehow tied to the anti-spam thing, I think), and you're going to worry and try to send more tickets, like I did.

Now wait. And wait, and wait, and wait. They are SLOW. I've seen some miraculous 1-day unbans in the #shadow ban tag, but most people, like me, wait around a month for support to reply. Those are the same guys going through thousands of bot reports every day in addition to user tickets.

If you're going to wait, might as well keep blogging. Now if this is your sideblog that's shadow banned, consider yourself lucky. Make a new temporary sideblog, use it to post your original stuff so it goes into tags (mind that it might take a few days for a new blog to start showing up in tags). Reblog everything to your shadow banned blog so you still have all content in one place and your followers see it. If it's your main that's banned, you can still do that, but there's the extra pain of not being able to reply to posts or send non-anon Asks, since that is only done from main. Might need to register a separate account for that.

Some more fun facts under readmore.

Fun fact #1

Trying to send support follow-up emails in the request confirmation email isn't going to do anything to speed up the process. But I did tweet at them using this tumblr support summoning picture by @cornmayor and offered a raccoon blood sacrifice to resolve my issue when it was like a month with no response. This is what they replied.

3 hours later I got an email that my shadowban was lifted. I honestly don't know if it was a coincidence, but I mean, this is tumblr staff. Maybe they do accept blood sacrifices.

Fun fact #2

If you're wondering why my shadow ban lasted 2 months if I got a support reply after 1 month, well. It's hard to say exactly how their ban/unban system works bc support replies exclusively with pre-written template sentences, but basically they fucked up. The first time they told me my blog has been restored, I gained pretty much all functions back, except that my posts were still not appearing in tags. Which means probably that being hidden from tags is some kind of different flag on your blog that they forgot to remove. So I had to send a follow-up ticket and wait another month.

My advice is, when they tell you it's fixed, don't take that at face value, go and check all the functions you'd lost (replies, messaging, asks, tagging, appearing in notes, getting mentioned by others).

[winderlylandchime]

I really am my brothers sister because I completely forgot that I came to your blog to tell you something the second I saw Gale’s face. My bad!!

But now to tell you what I came here to say originally. My dumb brother (yes, that is necessary) sprained his ankle. He’s fine but he is now again on bed rest for a few days or whatever and he has crutches which has been proven is a dangerous thing for him to have.. And on top of that he got sick with a fever…again (cus the face palm moment)

Now i know you’re probably wondering what the hell did he do now? Well let me tell you the story that is making the whole family laugh (in a loving way) He took out the trash and kept his door just slightly open to keep the cat inside and as he was trying to sneak back in, Brian took his opportunity and broke free and my brother ran after him and since he was only in slippers and it was raining like crazy he- and I say this with love- ate shit. And in the process of that he also locked himself and the cat outside. In a tank top and shorts.

The good thing is our aunt lives near him so he just went to hers and she took him to the ER and helped break into his house again but the bad thing is that when she took him to the ER, they’re also used of him there bc i wish this was the first time he stupidly injured himself. So the second he walked in they went “oh come on (his name), what did you do now?”

Since he has a ring camera we now have a video of him trying to sneak inside going ‘move, Brian, moooove. Bri, don’t make me use grown up words’ and then Brian escaped and he after him screaming ‘BRIAN YOU LITTLE DICK COME BACK HERE RIGHT NOW! YOU LIL SHIT COME HERE ITS FUCKING RAINI- (this is where he ate shit)’ and you just see darkness and then hear him go ‘oh now you come to me!’ He sent the video to everyone he knew. And ngl it is my favorite thing in the world.

But anyway the reason why I’m even bothering telling you all of this, is to say that this bed rest and him being sick for like two days lead to something that he called extreme boredom and he ended up making an ao3 account. I repeat, the man made an ao3 account. He briefly entertained the idea of tumblr but since he sucks, so he just made an ao3 account. I was actually shocked when he asked me for the invitation and how it works and everything. He has not told me yet if he just wants to use it to leave kudos or what but i guess this is a PSA.

OH NOOOOO!!!! Brother anon!

Listen, I sliced my hand last week in a (failed) attempt to save skincare from falling out of my medicine cabinet and learned that my partner of 17 years gets faint at the sight of blood. So we FaceTimed my father-in-law when it was 1 am his time because he's a former paramedic to determine if I should go to the ER.

I also once sprained my ankle trying to save my coffee while I was mid-trip. Spoiler: I did not save the coffee AND my ankle was fucked.

One time my partner when ass over head tripping over my sister-in-law's dog and it was caught on a nanny-cam and I made it into a gif.

So there's a long history on my end of injuries in dumb ways so I feel empathy for your brother. This is a good lesson that a cat is gonna cat and will definitely sneak out if given the chance.

BROTHER ANON IS ON AO3!! That is incredible! Welcome to the incredible world of fanfiction Brother! My collection of my favorite QAF fics is here Also every other TV show and movie he has ever enjoyed probably has fanfiction on AO3.

[hoboal87]

Hey hope you are doing well, I really wanted to ask your advice on something

How do you deal with not getting notes for your fics? Like I came back to my blog after so long and started posting fics but I'm barely getting any notes(like 10 or even less). It's like people forgot my existence.

I don't know if my writing got bad but again I worked on my writing in the unofficial break I took.

It makes me want to quit writing again.

I don't understand what to do or how to deal with it.

Hey there! I know how you feel, not getting any notes on a fic absolutely sucks. I think there are a couple of things coming in to play as to why a note count is down.

In general, as I've (and a couple other writers I know) noticed, is that for most writers their note counts are down. I think that issue lies within Tumblr itself, there's no real algorithm, only those who follow you or asked to be tagged by you, are going to see your fics unless they are using the search button to look for fics. And while this is a great function for new readers to Tumblr, of your fic isn't tagged properly/not at all the wider audience may never see it, unless a mutual reblogs it.

Reblogs and likes are vital for writers to know if their fics are being, at the very least, read, but likes do not get your fic attention from more readers outside your following. Writer on here have been asking readers for years to reblog, bc hey can leave feedback and as I said maybe reach a new audience.

Sorry, I know this really wasn't your question, but it always needs reiterating, readers need to reblog posts.

Anyway, back to the lack of note counts and how to deal.

I understand that this is super frustrating, especially when you've gone away and worked on your writing, for there to not be some recognition, but that's just how it goes. My best advise, which I wish was more helpful, is to just not base how you feel about your fics/readers to the amount of notes you do and do not have. I've had the whole range of notes on my fics, I have one with over a thousand, and I have some that only get 10-20, even though I have 1k+ followers. It happens, sometimes they miss your fics bc of timezones (which is why you should always reblog your fics for timezones purposes imo) or maybe they followed you for one specific fic or pairing and aren't interested in any others.

I know it's hard to not to, but don't take it as a personal slight. Some fics just do better than others, some writers on here have spent years and years cultivating their audience and will still get relatively low notes on their fics.

If you don't have one, I'd suggest getting an account on AO3, feedback there is a bit better, but also, you will have a hit count, so then you know that people are reading your fic even if your not getting the notes.

Don't quit writing because you're not getting notes! Tag, tag, tag your fics, reblog, ask for feedback(good or bad) but also remember Tumblr is always gonna do it's Tumblr thing. If you're passionate about writing just keep going! I know how hard it can be sometimes to continue writing/a fic when you're not getting those notes, but at the end of the day you should be writing for you and not your audience.

I hope this was helpful!

-Alex

[duckwithablog]

The lurker anon reappears! Thank you for answering my questions, and I’d love to hear the backstory of your macaque theme!

Also, I forgot to label myself. Silly me. Mmm 🤔… perhaps peach🍑 anon if it’s free? Because- unrelated to the cute and cheeky monkey man- I really, really love peaches!

YOO hello again!! And yeah, 🍑 anon is free!! I haven't tried eating peaches but they look so aesthetic,, the only peach flavored thing i tried was a peach drink and i ordered it PURELY bcs of LMK HHAHSHSAH

time for some blog lore..... THIS IS GONNA BE KINDA LONG AND RAMBLY SO BE WARNED-

Before this account was made, I actually had a different tumblr account for personal use (I never log into it anymore though lol) instead of writing. I was in the LMK fandom at the time, so I was reading x reader fics EVERYWHERE I could, from wattpad to tumblr to ao3.

And wouldn't you know it, when I was scrolling through the tags on tumblr I saw someone promoting their newly written fic they made on ao3!! I read it, loved the premise, and left a kudos and a comment (I think I left a comment? I'm not sure, I was a lurker as well when it came to reading HSDHSD).

Not too long after, I was scrolling through their blog and saw a post of them asking for any possible writing friends to interact. I thought 'hey!! i can write!!' and promptly sent them a dm. We chatted over our brainrot of the stinky monkeys and we grew to be pretty close writing buddies!! I even got to come up with a ship name for a pairing in the fic (the pairing was Macaque and Y/n, and Y/n in the fic was a baker, so I proposed the ship name 'Mooncake'. Still super proud of that ngl!! I'm pretty sure I made one for Wukong and Y/n too, but I forgot what it was </33 Mooncake was just so iconic to me).

We bounced off ideas from each other, and I sent them posts about Wukong (they were a Wukong Apologist and honestly, slay), and one of them actually managed to influence their characterization for him in a later chapter!! I was even writing my own LMK x reader fic at the time, and while I gave up on it after a while, they were the first person to ever read the first few paragraphs and gave me their thoughts.

Eventually, I had an urge to make a whole blog dedicated to x reader writings because I was inspired by them to make one, and when I told them they told me to go for it!!

Here's where the important bit comes in: This person's blog was themed around Sun Wukong. They're a Monkey King lover, they fucking love that stupid smelly monkey man!! So I told them "hey wouldnt it be funny if my blog was Macaque themed so we could match?" and they went "DUDE"

And boom!! That's the reason why my blog is Macaque themed!! I went through a LOT of custom tumblr themes (you know where you open someones blog and instead of being the regular tumblr blog layout its a totally new one that they customized themselves? Yeah that was me), meanwhile my friend just stuck to a simple 'Wukong pfp + header and orange background'. I think that matched our character themes really well HAHSAHSAH

Unfortunately, I'm sure that my friend is not working/active anymore. Their last post on tumblr was them apologizing for the lack of updates because of art school, and that was it. I don't know how long it's been since I checked up on the fic, but when I did, I found that their ao3 account was orphaned. So it's probably safe to assume that theyre not coming back to their tumblr acc either.

But still... I kept my Macaque theme. Even when my LMK interest started to fade and other media took over my brain, I refused to change it. Idk why, sentimentality I guess? It just felt wrong.

I have no idea where they are now, honestly. I just hope theyre doing okay. They were a super cool person, and I loved their fic and I loved talking to them and I loved being their friend!! Even if they probably wont see this post, I just want them to know how much of an impact they had on me. It was because of them I made this account, and got into writing requests and fics. And even if that didn't work out, they got me back to writing in general! They were an awesome person and they deserve everything good in life!!

Augugh this got sentimental... My bad!! Ngl, I've been secretly waiting for someone to ask me why my blog was Macaque themed, but the chance of that happening was really slim so I held the Blog Lore™ in. BUT NOW I CAN FINALLY SAY WHAT IVE BEEN HOLDING IN FOR YEARS RAHHH

Thanks for asking this, btw 🍑 anon!! Sorry if this was so rambly and long, my mind do be like that (incomprehensible to decipher sometimes). I'd love to see you pop in some more, if youd like!!

Oh!! And since ur a Wukong lover as well, you should read their fic!! It's unfinished, but I think you should give it a shot. The chapters are long, the writing style and interactions between characters are great, and the development and pining is well done!!

I realize that this sounds biased, but ermm..... IDC GO READ THEIR FIC!!! (/nf) Kudos and comment bcs they deserve it!! Even if they dont get to see it, I'd like to at least cheer them up on the off chance that they do.

Here's the fic!! And their tumblr acc too, because they make some pretty banging drawings for their writing!!

@butternut-zippersqaush

[mxttellion]

Your recent post has made me curious about your experience. I was an onlooker/lurker to Eddsworld until late March/Early April.

Man. Where do I even begin, genuinely

guess you can call this The Not So Extensive Neb Eddsworld Lore because. I have a LOT to talk about. It's been almost a decade I've seen pretty much everything despite having joined in like. Late 2013

I discovered Eddsworld back in 2012 via Flipnote Hatena (fly high sweet angel), and I never actually actively cared about the series until September 2013, when I decided to give the series a shot after snobbing it for so long: and lol I'm obsessed

Also since I'm funny as all hell I'm gonna address to different eras of my experience with the characters I was obsessed with at the moment

This is what I call my Tom Era: I wasn't on any actual social media yet, except for Sudomemo and DeviantArt, where I had multiple rps with people and got scolded by someone's sister over roleplaying (ya that happened and it's still funny as hell)

Jump to uh. Late 2014 - 2015 when I actually join Tumblr with my main (the ogs will know <3) and that's when I actually started being active in the fanbase and produce content, this is the uh. Matt and Eduardo era? Sure why not. I made a lot of content of them and I don't like talking about this moment bc of personal trauma sorry lol <3

The sasquatch drama happened in this fragment of time, and some might even remember that I've talked about it in this blog at some point

Anyway it's the pre The End - Legacy era, the fandom was really small and everyone pretty much knew the other for better or for worse

Oh I had a Matt ask blog. Don't look for it or I'll get you and I'll bite you

I got a Flipnote I made in 2015 reblogged by Tomska and I felt like my life was complete, and a fanart liked by Kreid (poweredd animator in case u forgot)

Shit happens and now we're in 2016, the fandom explodes, i have no FUCKING idea was was going on at first but man. Man if it wasn't kind of funny to watch

Anyway it's important to also note that I uh. Don't. Really remember a lot from 2016-2017, no idea why, maybe it's just my brain going full on traumatic amnesia mode and deleting everything. But also this post is wayy too long on its own so I'll cut it short

I made that one magical au? I was an emotionally charged undiagnosed teenager so maybe being so active on the internet wasn't a great idea, I got teased by a "cringe art" account for my au who got BLASTED within an hour of existing, I made the Salty AU in 2018 with the ask blog, joined Amino which was just. The worst idea I had in that year alone, joined the official server in 2019 only to leave everything related to eddsworld behind in 2020 because holy shit what was that ... Also there's an high change that Matt has seen my au but I talked about this already.

Then came back in 2021 and the rest is history. Matt Mod, Patryck hyperfixation, yeah you know it

I cut it VERY short bc there's. A lot I don't wanna talk about (just. Personal unpleasant experiences) but man. Man if I don't sound like a mad man talking about this, like dude I've spend sooo much time in the fanbase and I've seen sooo much shit going on, it's like as if I'm talking to a therapist about this or something

[voidendron]

tagged by @vespertine-legacy for a Get to Know the Blogger - thanks, November! :D

1. why did you choose your url?

okay, so there's actually a bit of story behind it so this answer's gonna be long.

I was a roleplayer...god. years ago (6? ish years ago?), for the Transformers fandom, and because of the character I played, I got called "Blitz" and the nickname just kinda stuck, even after I left that fandom. before I'd realized I was trans, my username had "Queen" in it, and I had a separate account for RPing as that character. well, I had both accounts logged into the chat at the same time once cause I'd been chatting on my main, then decided to hop onto the RP one and forgot to disconnect my main (DeviantArt Chat, haha), someone didn't know which one to tag to get my attention, so just caps-locked BLITZQUEEN at me

it didn't take long for me to change my user to that. I eventually drifted away from that fandom, but I decided to name my mascot Blitz for the nostalgia

I started to get uncomfortable with my user, realized I was trans, and started looking for alternatives to the "queen" part of it. I came across the word "indite" which is a synonym for "write." I liked how symmetrical the I's were from each other in "Blitzindite," so decided to roll with it

so yes. my username is literally just "Blitz Writes" (it's also why my writing tag is "blitz indites")

2. any sideblogs?

@thevehszlegacy - where I keep track of my SWTOR OCs. needs updated, but soooo nice to have for sorting reasons

@swtor--screenshots - haven't posted there in a long while, but as the username says

@fr-thecollectors - my Flight Rising blog. currently in an inactive phase on FR, but I still adore my dragons there

@jse--deep-blue-sea - I had a crossover fic from my previous fandom that I stopped writing like two years ago, but decided to try and at least finish it now (mostly bc of the Subnautica part of the crossover). I only post chapters there so I can keep this blog to Star Wars content

I've got a few others I don't really touch anymore, but these are the notable ones

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

2018

4. why did you originally start your blog?

JSE and Markiplier Egos

5. why did you choose your icon?

my current one is my SWTOR main, but I usually have a gas mask one because my mascot has one in place of his face

6. why did you choose your header?

Aesthetic™

but I just really really love that screenshot. one of my favorites I've ever taken

7. what's your post with the most notes?

art from my previous fandom. not gonna link it because of eyestrain (glitching effects) and blood/gore. in this fandom, my post about being able to use headpieces (even the toothpick!!!!) to hide Vette's shock collar in vanilla

8. how many mutuals do you have?

uhhhhhh

idk

is there even a way to check that?

9. how many followers do you have?

249

10. how many blogs do you follow?

71

11. have you ever made a shitpost?

yeeee. my followers are probably tired of my dumb posts tbh aksjld;sldk

12. how many times do you use tumblr a day?

If I'm on my laptop, I have it open. so I'll just say "quite a bit" and leave it at that

13. have you ever fought another blog?

no

14. how do you feel about “need to reblog” posts?

can't stand them. the moment I see "everyone should reblog this" "if you don't reblog-" blah blah blah I scroll past whether I liked/agreed with the post or not, oftentimes without even reading the rest of the post.

15. do you like tag games?

sure! makes me nervous tagging others for them, tho

16. do you like ask games?

yessss I love ask games. haven't been doing em much lately, tho. I should get back into them.....

17. which of your mutuals do you think are tumblr famous?

I...don't actually know. but I know some of them are more fandom-famous

18. do you have a crush on a mutual?

nah

tagging: @thedinalixlegacy @raven-of-domain-kwaad and whoever else wants to do it! like I said, tagging others makes me nervous 😅

[ironmandeficiency]

things that happened to me in 2020 (minus january and parts of february bc i have no recollection). they’re in a somewhat cohesive order but some are just thrown in there for a little extra ✨spice✨ (heads up this is a p long list bc i had a wild year)

in 2020 i:

got my first tattoo

got a drastic haircut (from two feet long to an almost-buzz cut)

moved out of an abusive house

spent my first spring break somewhere not at home

found my life becoming an irl found family trope

didn’t go to work from early march until mid august bc of the covid pandemic

ate an edible for the first and last time

celebrated my birthday (heyo)

started writing fanfic on tumblr again for both a main and a collab account after not using tumblr for over a year

got back into star wars, joined the fandom, and started writing fic

discovered my new gender identity & a new name to go along with it

realized that yes i am still a bisexual

got absolutely shitfaced for the first time, forgot how to speak english, and had my first hangover

started making playlists for EVERYTHING

started college classes

had covid and ended up okay but also ruined my college classes

went back to work

went thru a change in my position at work and difficulties w coworkers that were eventually overcome

started watching the mandalorian and discovered pedro pascal

joined the pedro fandom and started writing fanfics for his characters

changed religions

acknowledged toxic behaviors of ppl i know and started to build the courage to call them on it

became a devout plant parent instead of just someone who has plants

had 2-3 relationships that i care abt very much

found a growing sticker obsession with no foreseeable end

had a tonsillectomy

watched john mulaney’s “kid gorgeous” so many times i can now say the jokes with him

got a kitten (goose) and she is literally my baby i love her to the moon and back and would murder for her

but most importantly, all the new friends i made helped keep 2020 from being anywhere near as bad as it could have been. i love you all and would do anything for you fabulous ppl whether i’ve known you from the beginning or if we’re just starting our friendship. even if we haven’t talked in a hot minute, i still love you a hell of a lot. even if you’re not tagged, i still love you. here’s to a 2021 filled with love and positivity and friendship, y’all are precious

@filthybookworm @valkyrieofthehighfae @capricornrabies @hounding-around @catsnkooks @catfishingmorales @scribbledghost @dindjarindiaries @a-dorin @goldafterglow @pikemoreno @morganas-pendragons @clonewarslover55 @klay97 @jadetheaverage @persaloodles @battletales @felucians @beskars @jangohshit @icedcoffeeandgays @obirain @hellotherekenobi @ohhellokenobi @simping-for-fives @wolffescadet @tintinwrites @sacred-things @sunshinepascal @pedropasscals @browneyes-djarin @blue-space-porgs @cherrykenobi @roseofalderaan @likeshootingstarsinthenightsky @huliabitch @bitchin-beskar @frannyzooey @anakin-danvers @anakinswhore @nelba @anstarwar @alderaani @leias-left-hair-bun @crimson-dxwn @just-some-girl-92 @ollovae3 @max--phillips @majorshiraharu @mudhornchronicles (and jojo please know that i tried like five times to cheat the tag limit ilysm)

[calumrose]

✨A New Beginning✨

It’s time to say goodbye and farewell to the year that has been 2020... good-fucking-riddance! 

But no, in all seriousness, it’s been a whirlwind of a year and it’s kind of crazy to think that it’s (nearly!!!) over. The fact that it’s been a whole 366 days (it was a leap year, right?) and these days have been quite honestly unlike anything we’ve experienced before.

If anything, I’ve got a lot to be thankful for this year. It caused me to open my eyes and have a few realisations of a lot of things, as well as striking a spark within me and rekindling my love for a lot of things I had forgotten about; things like writing, my true love for music, and so much more. 

Coming back to Tumblr this year after 3 years of basically forgetting this place existed has been a journey like no other, and I am so bloody grateful that I made that decision. It opened my eyes to how wonderful the internet can be at times. I renamed my old blog and then went on to create my favourite little place which became my ‘calumrose’ blog. The little community which I found myself involved in became something which I have come to adore, and it’s blown me away how so many lovely and talented people can be together on a hole in the internet and how this space can be so warm and welcoming. 

I’ve got a few people to thank for 2020, a handful of very special people who I truly don’t think I could be more grateful for being witness to their talent, their kind words, and all-round beautiful personalities which I am welcomed with every time I come on here. In light of saying thank you, I want to shine a spotlight on a selected few who I truly admire on here and just in general, so excuse me while I get a little soppy (and include a read more :))

@loveroflrh - Lauren, Lauren, Lauren... Where do I even begin with you? Sending an anon to you about This Is Us turned out to be one of the best things I did in 2020 because it led to an amazing friendship with you; full of a million concepts and ideas, many unposted fics and blurbs, as well as a few soppy messages here and there. I’m about to get even more soppy so give me a second... You’ve truly made my 2020 that little bit brighter, and I am so thankful and so grateful for you. You blow me away constantly with your writing, your mind, your determination, and your strength, and I love you wholeheartedly. You’re a light in a world of darkness, my dear, and have a true shining sparkle within you that many lack. You are one in a million, a true sweetheart, and all-round incredible friend and person. I love you so much and I can’t wait to see what 2021 has in store for you, my love! Hopefully, one day when all of this clears up, we can have one of our famous brainstorming sessions in person or something <3

@calpops - E... I’ve got so much I want to say to you. We haven’t talked much, I know that, but honestly your presence on here is one that I truly don’t know if I could do without. You’re such a beautiful person inside and out, someone who truly is one to be cherished. You’re incredible, in the way you write, in you way you interact, in the way of which you know your worth. Coming back to Tumblr this year was an adventure, and finding your writing and your account in that time has filled my heart with a warmth that I didn’t know I was missing. I look forward to everything that you post, knowing that it will make my heart melt and give me a smile that I won’t be able to rid myself of for the next while. Keep writing, keep going, and keep being that beautiful presence and individual that you are, and I look forward to seeing more of you on my dash in 2021 <3

@kaichaii - Kai... I will never be able to find the right words to say to you, to truly voice how vital you are in my life, and I hope you know just how much you are loved. We’ve known each other for years, too many years in fact, and god knows how you’ve put up with me and my shit for this long. You’ve done and achieved a lot this year, so much I am so proud of you for, and so much that you will continue to do as we go into a new year. Fuck, I am so unbelievably proud of you, like you have no idea. You’re an inspiration in ways that you don’t understand, in ways that honestly blow my mind. You’re so strong, you’re so beautiful, and you’re such an amazing person and friend, and I’m so lucky to have you. I can’t wait until we can (legally) see each other again (bcs fuck tier 4) and ensue the chaos that usually happens whenever we get together. I need more nights where I’m driving home between 1-3am after spending a day with you. I’ll see you in 2021, my love, and I can’t wait! <3

Ugh there are so many people who I love on here, most of who I’ve never actually spoken to (bcs I’m awful lmfao), but I still want them to know that I do in fact love them and what they bring to this hellsite. Everyone on here brings something different to the table and it really wouldn’t be the same without them, I love each and every one of you as if we were buddies :) (and if I forgot anyone then I’m sorry!! I still do love you!)

@bandsanitizer​ @cal-puddies​ @calmfolklore​ @cashtonasfuck​ @castaway-cashton​ @glitterylukess​ @httpsgfg​ @i-like-5sos​ @kaleidoscopeminds​ @karajaynetoday​ @killingangels​ @mashlums​ @notinthesameguey​ @pxrxmoore​ @rebelwith0utacause​ @reddestdesert​ @spicycal​ @sublimehood​ @talkfastromance4​ @talksopretty​ @tekweela​ @tigerteeff​ @ukulelecal​ @wastelandcth​ @wastethen8​ @wheniminouterspace​

Me @ Everyone:

🥳♥️✨HAPPY NEW YEAR/HAPPY HOGMANAY!✨♥️🥳

[ask-de-writer]

THE TAIL OF THE GHOST : Tales to Read AFTER the Lights Are OUT! : (1 part)

Return to the Master Story Index Return to MLP Fan Fiction Return to TALES TO READ AFTER THE LIGHTS ARE OUT!

THE TAIL OF THE GHOST

by De Writer (Glen Ten-Eyck)

2317 words

© 2016 by Glen Ten-Eyck Writing begun 10/30/16

All rights reserved.  This document may not be copied or distributed on or to any medium or placed in any mass storage system except by the express written consent of the author. ////////////// Copyright fair use rules for Tumblr users Users of Tumblr.com are specifically granted the following rights.  They may reblog the story provided that all author and copyright information remains intact.  They may use the characters or original characters in my settings for fan fiction, fan art works, cosplay, or fan musical compositions. All sorts of fan art, cosplay, music or fiction is actively encouraged.

///////////////////////

He awoke to the almost feathery sensation of tail hairs flirting softly across his face.  Again.  The soft, sweet voice of the young mare offered, “Up, Old Warrior!  It is time for us to battle another night away!”

Opening one eye, the Old Warrior beheld two things.  One, the young mare was right.  The sun was setting.  Time for him to get up and fry a few hay twists for breakfast.

The other was a bit more awkward to see.  The young mare herself.  Other than the fact that her mane and tail were darker than the fur that covered the rest of her, there was simply not much to be seen.  Her outlines were slightly hazy and he could see the wall mount with his old battle honors and medals right through her.

Years ago, needing to reduce the size of a peacetime army, Master Sargent Warrin had been mustered out for his age and infirmity.  Some Infirmity.  True, he was missing the tip joint of his right wing.  That had failed to slow him down any.  Only dumb headquarters brass saw it as an infirmity.

When mustered out, Master Sargent Warrin had got from his forward post in the forest to Fort Everfree Edge faster than the overweight but “fit” pegasus Lieutenant that had delivered his Orders.  The scene that followed had got “insolence” added to his mustering out Orders.

All that he had done, after all, was point out to Base Commander Morrgripe that the UNFIT pony that they were mustering out could out run, out fly and carry a heavier battle pack in the air or on foot than ANY officer in the Fort.  That might have been bad enough, but the 950 golden bits that he had won while proving it, including a bet from the BC, had earned him the insolent tag.

Then the Prance border heated up a few years later.  For the fourth time!  They tried to get him to sign a forced reenlistment.

He had taken great pleasure in rubbing the Infirmity Muster Out in their faces!  At that time he was employed flying express post for Princess Luna’s Royal Road Commission.  AND had racked up SIX commendations for his swift deliveries!

He was smiling as he looked up at his second wall mount.  The commendations for swift post and two of Luna’s Crescents for gallantry in dealing with deadly civil emergencies were in it.

The sweet little mare poked her head through the wall near the stove where he was seasoning his frying hay twists with assorted dried flower tops.

With not a care in the world, she walked on into the kitchen, hooves about 10 cm above the floor.  “Smells lovely, Old Warrior.  I wish that I could eat some along with you.  That is something that I miss a lot.

“Until you came, ponies that stayed here at this old chateau were afraid of me.  I just saw you smiling.  Was it remembering your Insolence or was it the Fast Post Service that you were remembering?”

He looked up and offered her a small plate of his seasoned hay twist.  “It was a little of all three things, Sweetie.  The third being you, of course.  Mostly you.

“Here, this plate is yours for now.  If you cannot eat what I cooked for you, at least you can smell it and share breakfast with me that way.”

Her eyes twinkling, the little mare, Sweetie, sat.  On the air.  And sniffed appreciatively.  He poured her a small cup of the strong Rom black tea that he favored.  She smelled that too, a blissfully happy expression on her face.

He watched in fascination as she reached out a hoof and the day’s mail appeared in the same ghostly form as herself.  When she took back her hoof, all of his day’s mail was solidly there on the table.  She seemed to be pleased at his expression.

He sorted his mail and made a sour expression when he opened one with the Army Retirement Board seal on it.  He brightened considerably at the contents of a different envelope  It bore the seal of Chancery Court of Princess Luna’s Royal Road Commission.

“I have to go down to Everfree Town, Sweetie.  I wish that you could come with me.  I enjoy your company.”

She smiled like a conjurer doing a clever slight of hoof trick.  “I can.  I have followed you to your garden that is in the glen.  Because it was daylight, you could not see me but I was there.  I am hard to see in bright lamplight too.  That does not stop me from seeing you, only you from seeing me.”

“I thought that you were haunting this chateau.”

“I was.  Then you came.  You were not afraid of me.  You even started waking at sunset and spending the night awake, just so that you could see me and talk to me.

“It took some time for me to learn how to talk to you so that you could hear me.  Nobody else can hear me at all.  I love being able to talk to you.  The stories that you tell me of your adventures are endlessly fascinating.  I especially like the one about your meeting Princess Luna on the Prance frontier.”

The ex Master Sargent Warrin grinned!  “You learned how to move real things and that led you to writing too!  I must say that I admire your determination.  I would have loved to have you in a platoon of mine!

“Now, let’s go to Equesrian National Bank and try to settle this business!”

Sweetie smiled happily, “I love going out with you!  What is Equestrian National Bank?”

Bemused, the old warrior paused in the doorway and looked over at Sweetie, who was simply strolling through the wall of the chateau.  There was no porch under her but she did not seem to notice that.

He mused, “Forgot how long ago you died, Sweetie.  A bank is a business that takes money from many ponies and then loans it out to businesses, farms and home buyers.  They make money off of the loans and then share some of what they make with the ponies they got the money from.

“Usually, everypony sort of wins.  While they hold my money, they keep track of how much I have and add on my share of what they earn with it.”

Sweetie had no wings but she easily kept pace with him, seeming to trot along like a pegasus on a well made cloud.  Except, of course, there was no cloud!

With a luminous smile she explained, “I have managed to change from haunting the chateau to haunting YOU!  That means that I HAVE to stay close!  That makes it easy to keep up.  The magic of haunting and all of that.”

He flew with happy strokes of powerful wings.  She trotted ahead and flirted her ghostly tail in his face sometimes!  It made him get a goofy smile on his face every time that she did it.  He spiraled down to the Equestrian National Bank and walked in.

He requested a meeting with Mister Horshiz, the branch Vice President of Operations.  Instead of having to wait, Mister Horshiz, a really sour gray maned red pony, demanded, “There you are, Warrin!  Why are you six days late on the rent for the Royalmont Chateau?  You owe us 1500 golden bits plus six days of penalties!”

Warrin looked askance at him.  “Not possible.  I was PURCHASING the chateau from Princess Luna, who owned it.  There is a title deed transfer that my agent told me has been delayed.  My making the purchase was the Princess’ idea.”

“I have the DEED right here!”

Horshiz held out a blue scrolled edge document.  Warrin’s battle trained reflexes snatched it faster that Horshiz could pull it back.  His eyebrows rose at what he saw.

In a saccharine voice he asked, “Where is the original?  This is a Chancery Copy and it has been altered.  The Royal Seal is a copy, not an original, as required by Crowns Law.”

“That is a trivial detail!  Pay the past due rent and penalties or be evicted at once!” Horshiz demanded.

Sweetie’s voice caught Warrin’s attention.  “Keep him talking love of mine.  I see some very interesting things in this file on his desk!”

Warrin grinned like a shark seeing a helpless swimmer.  “When Princess Luna’s personal property deed was so severely delayed in transfer, I wrote to her.”

He held up his envelope with the seal of the Royal Road Chancery Court on it.  He read, “Dear Master Sargent (Ret.) Warrin:  It is with great pleasure that I enclose your latest Royal Road Fast Post Commendation for assistance in the recent Dappleton Grist Mill dam failure.

“In spite of your Retirement from our Postal Service, your heroic over flight in thunderstorm weather and precise damage assessments made all of the difference for some hundreds of our subjects.

“In response to your request for an audit of the title problem concerning the Royalmont Chateau, I have disturbing news.  The Title Deed was sent to the Everfree Town branch of Equestrian National Bank to have the deed transfer to you notarized and the transfer registered.

“Celestia and I jointly agreed, after the Dappleton disaster, to gift the Chateau to you for your many services to our Realm.  Along with the deed, all needful fees and a full refund of all the monies that you have paid were sent to the Bank.

“The deed, fees and refund were directly stolen.  A Royal Audit has shown other irregularities concerning your accounts at the Everfree EQNB.  Among these, your retirement payments from both Our Army and the Royal Road Post System have subverted.  The direct golden transfers on the Royal Treasury are being made to Everfree EQNB.  They are issuing DRAFTS, which they fail to pay until thirty days have passed, giving them unlawful access to the use of your honorable retirement funds.

“The whole scheme has been directly traced to General  Morrgripe of Fort Everfree, who appears to have a grudge against you concerning how your took your Muster Out.  Something about losing a bet.

“I may add that due to My personal friendship, stemming from your heroic shielding of my person with your body during a surprise attack by Prance forces, it was my request that you be kept in our Royal Armored Pegassi.  However, in the end, such decisions do properly belong to the Base Commander.  Then Colonel Morrgripe ordered you Mustered Out.

“I will never forget that you lost your right wing tip when protecting me during the Third Prance Incursion.  

“Both General Morrgripe and Branch Vice President Horshiz have been summoned to Our Royal Court to answer charges Under Our Royal Wing, concerning the theft of My personal property and gift.  They must also face the subversion of our Royal Retirement System.

“Please find enclosed a fully transferred Title Deed formally Sealed by both my sister Celestia and I.  This Deed supersedes any previous documents and is already Registered in all of the appropriate Courts of Law.

“I remain your loyal friend, Princess Luna.”

While Warrin was reading, he noticed with amusement that he could, just barely, see Sweetie.  She was laying her hoof on documents from the file on Horshiz’s desk.  Like when she picked up his mail at home, the documents faded slowly away while Sweetie grinned.

For his ears alone, she said, “We called them Sharing Associations when I was alive.  Losing needed documents is still a favorite ploy, I see.  He is losing some that he will wish that he still had!”

Warrin grinned even more widely.  He held up his copy of the Chateau’s deed.  “You are effectively dead, except that you will be working on the Royal Roads!  This one is ALREADY registered by the direct order of BOTH Princesses.

“I was coming to let you know that both the payment by draft and the Deed issues had been taken care of.  I was going to let you off the hook on all of this and shaft General Morrgripe, whom I do detest.

“Unfortunately, you just had to try to extort a rent from me for a property that I own outright as a Royal gift.”

Sweetie strolled through Horshiz’s desk and laid her hoof just above Warrin’s lap.  A number of documents faded into existence in his lap.

She hugged him, which felt like being surrounded by the softest of feathers.

Whispering in Warrin’s ear, she said, “Come, my love, let us go to our home and leave this pony to his fate.”

Agreeing, Warrin stood, folding the documents into his shoulder pouch.  He turned to the stunned Horshiz, “I would love to see you try to claim either rent or eviction.  The first thing that the court will do is look to see who owns the property.  The Registry will show that it is ME.  That will make you prima facie guilty of fraud.  You know it, too.

“A pleasant evening to you.”

He stopped by the Police Station and delivered the documents that Sweetie had purloined.  He explained, “These are part of the evidence in a case Under the Royal Wing.”

He produced his letter from Princess Luna.  The desk pony checked his Wants, Warrants, and Summonses file to confirm the Royal Summons and took the documents, saying, “I will be see to getting these forwarded to the Royal Road Chancery Court.”  Shaking his head in disbelief he added, “Stealing from Princess Luna?  Not a wise thing to do!”

Warrin’s flight home to the Chateau was in no way hindered by Sweetie getting in front of him and flirting her tail in his face from time to time.

~THE END~

Return to the Master Story Index Return to MLP Fan Fiction Return to TALES TO READ AFTER THE LIGHTS ARE OUT!

[spaedia]

PLEASE TAKE A MOMENT TO READ.

alrighty dudes, dudettes, and everything in between. this is the last post i intend to ever make on tumblr, so listen up. in regards to the bullshit “callout” posted the other day:

CALLOUT, I GUESS, FOR DEVIL AND CO, BUT MOSTLY DEVIL BC LET’S FACE IT, WITHOUT THE SCREENSHOTS YOU PROVIDED, YOUR ARGUMENT FOR WHY WART IS A BAD PERSON IS “HE DAMAGED MY EGO OWO”. YOU SAID THIS WASN’T YOUR PROBLEM? WELL I’M MAKING IT YOUR PROBLEM, ASSHAT.

so let’s start w/ the screenshots in question. i haven’t read the callout, so idk what was used, but considering i had upwards of 5 people come to me and ask me if i was okay, i can take a guess. let the record show that all of the messages i sent to dev and norgie regarding wart was in the midst of our breakup, which was messy enough as is. when wart and i first broke up, i had dev and co blocked bc of personal reasons. devil then decided to HUNT DOWN ONE OF MY BLOGS and follow me (after i assume staking it out, bc he’s known for stalking people). i confronted him, and he gave me some shtick about how he’ll “always care about me” and i’m “still his little sister”, blah blah blah other manipulative bullcrap. against my better judgement, i let him back in.

wart was my first boyfriend. i adored him with everything i had, so naturally, this breakup left me in a bad emotional state. devil and norgie took COMPLETE ADVANTAGE OF THIS, and when i told them what happened between wart and i, immediately began twisting it to make wart out to be the bad guy. it was norgie who originally suggested that i had been emotionally abused, and in my vulnerable state, i began to see things that way. 

not that it’s anyone’s business, but if you wanna know how the breakup went, it was something like this: wart’s mental state was deteriorating, i suggested maybe we take a break, immediately went back on that statement, wart broke things off the next morning. there was no emotional abuse, no threatening of suicide, no physical violence - it was a breakup. things didn’t work out. it happens. but of course, this didn’t fit dev and co’s narrative, so they needed to get me to admit things were much worse than they were. when i later came to my senses and realized this was all bullshit, devil and norgie then decided to GUILT TRIP ME by pointing out how they spent “two hours” on call with me while i cried. after i had just had my heart broken. no shit i was upset. newsflash: wart spent a lot longer with me on call while i was breaking down. hell, he broke up with me and still let me cry on his shoulder. and unlike dev and norgie, he never once acted like i owed him, because that’s what friends do. but hey, go on and talk about how wart’s the abusive one.

devil has spent years abusing my trust. every time i tell him i don’t want so speak with him, he comes back awhile later with some new apology and reasoning for his behavior. and like most toxic relationships, it was hard to let him ago, especially after losing the person i cared most about. he blatantly took advantage of my situation to fuel his vendetta. the only reason i told him anything was because he promised me he wouldn’t make a post unless wart “stepped out of line” (which, looking back, is a huge red flag: what gives him the right to police other people?). and had i not begun to confront him about all the bullshit he made me say, he probably would have held off. in fact, he told me that one of the “main reasons” he felt this “needed to come out” was because i was starting to defend wart. when i realized that dev was serious about making this callout, i told him i wanted no part of it. he asked me for screenshots of some of my and wart’s conversations, to which i gave him a hard no. did that stop him from using our personal messages in his sorry excuse for a callout? of course not. these are the type of people who don’t care about anyone except themselves, dev has made that perfectly clear. MY PRIVACY AND AN INNOCENT MAN’S WELL BEING MEANT NOTHING TO HIM. all he and his friends cared about was spurring along their vendetta. and honestly, if i was wart, i would have sued y’all for harassment and defamation of character ages ago.

with the matter of those messages out of the way, let’s move on to dev’s actual claims. this is where the defamation gets real, because he had the nerve to call wart a predator. seriously? what, because he dated someone a few years younger than him?

dev loves to throw the word pedo.phile around, despite the fact that he obviously doesn’t know what it means. pedo.philia “is a psychiatric disorder in which an adult or older adolescent experiences a primary or exclusive sexual attraction to prepubescent children”. i started puberty when i was twelve, and wart and i didn’t even meet until i was fifteen. so immediately, he doesn’t fit the bill for a pedo.phile. #sorrynotsorry.

but let’s work around that. let’s say, that because he was romantically attracted to me, that automatically makes him a pedo.phile. i’m going to remind everyone of something devil would love to leave buried: the fact that, when i was thirteen, and again at fourteen, devil tried to coerce me into writing smut with him, along with a sixteen year old girl. he used my trust of him to assure me that it would be fine. his excuse? “my (ex)girlfriend made me do it.” cause that’s a solid argument alright. so fine, label wart a pedo.phile. i sure hope dev’s planning on giving himself the same label, because what he did is a lot worse lmao.

i don’t have screenshots from dev and my conversations, i think he deleted that account, but here’s him w/ the other girl.

so yeah long story short: dev knew this girl was underage, still tried to smut with her. take my word that he tried with me, i guess. i don’t think he’s ever denied it.

now, admittedly, i didn’t need to bring this up, but according to devil it’s important that predators get called out, so...he brought this on himself.

now i’m going to tell y’all the story of how wart and i started dating, because it really puts a hole in this “predator” story. see, for wart to be a predator, he would have had to target me in some way (come to think of it, much like devil did to me). when wart and i got together, dev and i weren’t talking, and i never got around to telling him how this happened, only that it did. (if i did tell him, i forgot about it, and that makes it even worse bc he knows this already lmao.) 

it was may sixth. i was fifteen, wart was nineteen. we had been talking for awhile, and sometime in the past week or so, i had talked to my mom about liking this guy who was older than me. she told me about her own relationships with older guys when she was my age, and that so long as he didn’t try anything, she was fine with it. so on that spring day, i confessed my feelings to wart. and y’know the first thing he said to me? “wait a few years.” a logical statement, one i probably should have taken to heart, but i was a fool in love, so i didn’t. i spent the next hour or so convincing wart to go out with me, and he eventually pitied me enough (he’d admit to something along those lines not long after) to agree. neither of us expected this to become an actual relationship, but hey, a year and a half’s not a bad run.

to make a long story short: i asked wart out, not the other way around. i begged him to date me, not the other way around. and this wasn’t some secret relationship. my parents knew from the beginning, and gave it the okay.

i think i addressed everything in that lameass “callout”, but because dev’s The Worst, i know he’s going to pull at threads to try and get his “predator” accusations to stick. i’m going to post this, and devil will immediately reply “but wait!! he is a predator: you said you two slept together!!” and then post the message where i said exactly that, added some details to make it realistic, whatever, but then fail to post the message a few days later where i told him IT WAS A HALF-BAKED STORY.

see, after wart and i broke up, i heard rumors that he and i had been sleeping together when he was up here. i’m gonna shoot those rumors down right now. a) i’m asexual and sex repulsed. i wouldn’t sleep with someone if they paid me. devil and norgie know this, but they chose to ignore it in favor of a juicy story. b) the story i gave them was incredibly inconsistent. to the point where even devil pointed out my inconsistencies, but then conveniently forgot that ever happened, then, when i told him it was bullshit, TRIED TO INSIST IT WAS TRUE. as if he knows better than i do what happened lmao. c) wart and i were never alone for more than a few minutes. my bedroom walls aren’t exactly soundproof. my bed frame is metal, it squeaks whenever i sit on it. so yeah, obviously we got away with having sex. dumbass.

now, when i heard these rumors, i decided to roll with them. what did i have to lose, right? so yeah, i spiced it up, gave devil and norgie some random details to make it realistic, and told them not to tell anyone (which as far as i know, they haven’t, so thanks for not spreading rumors i guess). when devil brought it up to me during his rant about how this callout “needed to happen”, i pretty much laughed in his face and told him it never happened. and then he tried insisting it did and i rolled my eyes so hard i think i gave myself a headache. 

tl;dr: someone started rumors that wart and i slept together, i confirmed them for shits and giggles, but no, it never happened, for all the reasons stated above.

oh, and as for dev’s reason for this vendetta? he’s told wart that it was because he (wart) wrote a character that dev wanted to write. i’m still convinced it’s over a fragile ego. either way, Real Mature, dude.

NOW i think i covered anything. phew, that’s a doozy. as i said, this is the last post i intend to ever make on this hellsite, but i encourage everyone who sees this to reblog it so that we can clear a (mostly) innocent man’s name. did wart hurt me? yes. was it enough to warrant this abuse?? not in the slightest.

my discord is still on my blog if anyone wants it (unless you’re friends with devil, norgie, kirby, or anyone else involved in this. if that’s the case, i’ll see you in hell). as for my legacy on this hellsite, let it be known that i tried to fight the good fight. i hope it’s good enough.

el psy kongroo.

[wcsted-blog1]

        this is a long and somewhat emotional follow forever , as i feel it’s genuinely the most MEANINGFUL one i have done so far ?? like genuinely i did tear up a little writing this shit so .  .  . i just want to thank you all not gonna lie , simply because you guys are the best , and i mean it with all of my heart , some of you quite literally STOPPED ME from giving up writing as a whole without even realising , because yeah , early january i did think of quitting , i was so close to , it would’ve taken a little push and i would’ve quite literally deleted this and all of my previous accounts , but i can tell you right now - i am SO GLAD that i did not. it’s all because of you !!

please CTRL + F AND SEARCH FOR YOUR USERNAME , IT’S FASTER THAN SCROLLING LMFAO

      to be fair this follow forever is just an excuse to be able to thank you guys publicly. some of you already know how much i appreciate you , with the random I LOVE YOU ALL’s in group chats or just me genuinely being an annoying cunt and bugging you 24/7 , some others i’m may be more shy about or i just simply admire you from afar , - and regardless of whether we talk or not , if you’re on here it just means you’ve somehow helped me , to not quit , stopped me from doing so as a whole , and have helped me to keep doing this thing i’ve been doing for almost five years now. i have to say it would’ve probably been one of my biggest mistakes to just QUIT , so i am here to T H A N K Y O U , for inspiring me , for helping me grow as a writer , for helping me with my english ( which you all do ) , for dealing with my ass , for everything in general.

i feel as if this is the longest follow forever i have done in my life but really it doesn’t matter. this is here to show how much i appreciate you guys , to just thank you for absolutely everything. i’ll stop here and move on to the little paragraphs some are more personal others are more general ones but , whatever the case is you guys warm my fucking heart seriously.

* // ⊰  @pcrscphonie . ⊱ to the titsiana to my cumriana .  .  .                      emily , E M I L Y - what the fuck would i do without your ass ?? like i’m serious ?? i swear talking to you gives me life - genuinely , you make me crack the fuck up on a fucking daily basis. i don’t think i’ve laughed so much in a long time really , so i owe you BIG TIME. not gonna lie i’m fucking glad i managed to drag your ass and get you to join discord , because what would we now do without the sexting gc , our daddy akshay and the bonetown / house party calls ?? ;)) i don’t know but whatever the case is i am WET writing this ( bc i’m tearing up , pls stop being so dirty minded i swear ) . thank you for talking to me after that shit episode i had on a night out , or dealing with my annoying ass on a daily basis , what can i say ?? i actually fucking love you LMAO , as i said you’re the titsiana to my cumriana on a side note i genuinely think that your writing BLOWS my fucking mind , like - lowkey you’re definitely a ) one of my favourite people to write AND talk with and b ) one of the nicest and most talented ones on this hell of a fucking site. so yeah , thank you , thank you and THANK YOU BEBÉ.

* // ⊰  @wavesborn​​​ . ⊱  la bestia a mi bebesita .  .  .                        yadira , Y A D I R A , hostia PUTA done coño empiezo ?? meeting you has been one of the highlights of my year so far , and i am lowkey SERIOUS. our calls ?? me staying up until 3 - 5 a.m sometimes just to be talking to you , is literally one of the BEST THINGS EVER , even if i am not even alive the next day. and yes i might be a full on nerd but you know you love it ;)) GRACIAS por todo chica , te lo juro de verdad, i mean it when i say that you’ve quite literally saved my ass , you’re one of the people that have resurrected my muse for roleplaying in general. you’re an angel , literal eres un ANGEL tia , y no cambiaria nuestra amistad por NADA EN EL MUNDO. you’re one of my favourite people on this site , whether it is to talk or write to. eres la mejor colega , y me cago en todo lo que se mueve por que va en serio , ERES UN ANGEL CHICA. thank you for being one of my best mates , i really fucking love you. like stefan adores you too , we both adore you for reals afiashdgaiosi QUE HARIA YO SIN TI TIA. you’ve been one of the MAIN reasons for me to not have given up on writing in early january. you’ve pushed me , inspired me , have made me think creatively in different ways , and have made my muse reach new limits , which is DOPE AS FUCK. GRACIAS POR TODO , LITERAL QUE TE AMO.

* // ⊰  @giaawritess​​​​ . ⊱  un angel pero de verdad colega .  .  .                        gia , G I A , look you’re genuinely i just don’t even know where to begin with , one of the BEST people i have ever met in my life. you’re an angel  ( YOU LITERALLY ARE THO YOUR VOICE ?? OMFG LIKE ACTUALLY KILL ME , YOU SAW IT YESTERDAY , ME AND STEFAN FULL ON FANGIRLING ABOUT YOUR VOICE MATE AHSFOASHDGOIAS ) one of the kindest people i have ever met. you genuinely blow my mind in so many ways , like i look up to you so fucking much ?? it’s crazy really. when i tell you that i wish i were in the USA i literally mean it because you’ve just done so much for me the past three months , *// i’m crying now i- // you’ve been there for me , you’ve made me laugh like an idiot , fangirl the fuck out of myself with your singing , but you’ve also genuinely been one of the best things that have happened to me this year. literal , i look up to you so much ?? you’re like a bigger sister to me , 100%. thank you for being here , for existing , for just being y o u. like for reals gia. i just want you to know that if you ever need ANYTHING i will be there , because i want to give back - you’re an angel i swear , like a r e a l angel. MUCHISIMAS GRACIAS POR TODO , GRACIAS POR SER TU. TE QUIERO TANTO.

* // ⊰  @fircytragcdy​​​​​ . ⊱  plz don’t put me in the box of shame for this i sWEAR i ain’t a mess ( okay i might be but fhasiodghoashdg ) .  .  .                       lucy , L U C Y , idk how you deal with my annoying ass but , i genuinely am thankful as fuck for being able to write with you ?? but there’s something else i have to thank you for as well which is TEMPTING ME to return to indie , like - actually come back , and it took you nothing to convince me ?? from you first hand experiencing my drunk texting in the morning to writing - like you probably think i am a mess let’s be real , which i am but y’know , .  .  . i’m just here to say that i appreciate you A LOT. your writing blows my fucking mind too , like guao is this talent ?? if you write a book please link me , bc i’ll defo buy AND read it mate. whatever the case is , you know you’ve got me here no matter what , if you need anything - imma be there !! you ARE one of the most talented people on this site , your writing is GENUINE quality , and i’m just blessed to be able to write and talk to you fam. i just wanna than u for everything like legit , my messy ass is thankful AF. thank you for writing with me but also for inspiring me , because literally you’ve also helped me regain my muse , and just been one of the ones that stopped me from giving up on writing. thank you mate , for reals. GRAZIE MILLE , 4 REALS , GRAZIE MILLE.

MORE SPECIAL MENTIONS BUT I’M IN A HURRY AND I DON’T HAVE THE TIME RN TO WRITE A HUGE AS PARA FOR EVERYONE FIHASDGHGSAIOPDG I WOULD THO , I SWEAR I WOULD.

* // ⊰  @rosychvrms  ; @nightinqale ; @prcsopa ; @trcnscendant ; @svnflowcr-s ; @darlingstm ;  @hvneymoons ; @dvstedgold ; @emptygcds ; @vuotriste ; @alittlewickcd ; @antisopa ; @pcrscphonie ; @wavesborn ; @giaawritess , @fircytragcdy *ik if i forgot peeps on this section but anyways i can’t remember the urls rn i’m just a crying emotional mess rn tbfh . ⊱  this is a special thank you to y’all .  .  .                     we might’ve chatted , we might’ve written , done both or neither of these , it doesn’t matter. we all were a part of the same thing , the same universe for several months. it’s why you are on here , because someway or another , seeing you on my dash , or getting to write with you whenever i was logged onto @bloodcvrsed , you managed to inspire me and bring back the muse i was on the verge of losing ( and giving up ) . it’s why i gotta thank you all *and i’m definitely missing people but i can’t remember the urls , so if you see this it’s also aimed at you* because you just stopped me from quitting the one thing that i’ve been doing so many years , and really it would’ve been one of the biggest mistakes of my life. i just want to say thank you , THANK YOU FOR STOPPING ME , FOR INSPIRING ME AND FOR BEING THE ONE OF THE MOST TALENTED PEOPLE I HAVE ENCOUNTERED ON THIS SHIT HOLE THAT IS TUMBLR !! THANK YOU GUYS SM ; ILY.

AND THIS IS A SMALL SECTION BUT AN EXTREMELY MEANINGFUL ONE .

* // ⊰  @thefineartofbitchcraft , @serialqueen , @chrysalvsm , @artofbeingperfect , @wildtm . ⊱ to you who have stuck by my side for so many years .  .  .                            i have MISSED YOU ALL , so fucking much. i’ve missed writing with you , talking to you , just being here online. i almost made the mistake of quitting this thing , indie - which yes it’s a hell of a site and yes it’s quite literally full of drama *which is what almost drove me away* but to be fair , i am glad that i was able to see what i almost gave up on. it would’ve bee one of the BIGGEST mistakes i’d ever had made , quitting this - i’ve known you all for AT LEAST a year , with some of you guys i’ve been writing with since 2016 - that’s almost three years , considering i began writing mason in september of the same year - some of you i began writing with on this account , and whatever the case is - YOU ALL have inspired me , you all have made me fall in love with writing , back then , now - all over again really. being back and writing with you guys again made me realise just HOW MUCH i missed this , i missed you all , it made me realise why the past Y E A R i had been unhappy on here but also why my muse had been falling apart , because i wasn’t doing what i wanted , because i made a decision to please someone in fear of losing a friendship. i was unsure on how to turn back as soon as i realised , that i had made a mistake - and i am sorry for that , because - i know some of you missed mason as much as i missed writing him with you - i owe you this apology , and you need to hear it , that i missed this , that i missed it all. - so i am sorry. i’m here to say THANK YOU for having stuck with me for YEARS. i’m actually glad to have you all here i ain’t gonna fuckig lie.THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME LIFE , FOR JUST BEING SO SWEET AND GREAT AND ABSOLUTELY FUCKING TALENTED Y’ALL. i genuinely LOVE you all so fucking much it’s C R A Z Y.        you guys , i am so glad to be back - i am SO FUCKING GLAD TO BE BACK. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU AND THANK YOU.

[red-wardens]

DA Questions

Tagged by: @goblin-deity and @gothkimmyschmidt -- thank you :)

Tagging: @jaffa-keksi @chillyrose @dickeybbqpit @mocha-writes @the-dread-doggo @heraldofwho @keeperscompanionsdai @space-vashoth (if you guys haven’t done it already. if you have, tag me so i can see!)

–---------

01) Favorite game of the series?

Dragon Age 2. I love the bisexual disaster companions and how they have friends/relationships/lives outside of you. And I love Hawke and their tragic story. I also like having years passing with the same protagonist/companions instead of “my new companions and I had one crazy year together”. Plus fighting mechanics were my favorite in this game. 

02) How did you discover Dragon Age?

I saw gifs of Morrigan on tumblr years ago (back when DA2 was still new) and thought, “holy shit, she’s pretty I should play that”, and just never got around to it till a couple years later till when I saw a lot of gifs of default Marian Hawke and thought “she’s gorgeous and funny and I would die for her” (I still can’t believe I used to think I was straight...) and then found out she’s not till the second game so I hurried up and bought Origins to play first. Then got hooked, Origins has such a great story.

03) How many times you’ve played the games?

I’m on my 4th and 5th (playing simultaneously) playthroughs of Origins, I’ve played DA2 either 6 or 7 times. Inquisition I’ve only played once and I skipped most of the side missions because that game is so long.

04) Favorite race to play as?

Elf. I love dwarves a lot though and if they could do magic they’d easily be the fave. 

05) Favorite class?

Mage. I like healing and not having to get close to enemies. 

06) Do you play through the games differently or do you make the same decisions each time?

I try to play differently each time and role play hard (ex: certain mage OC’s are only allowed to have skills in certain fields of magic even if it’s inconvenient for me, my traumatized-by-Carver’s-death Hawke who is triggered by seeing ogres can only “hold position” when one appears and I can only fight as the companions because she’s having a panic attack). In Origins I like to put someone different on the throne each time, side with mages once and templars the next, and have companions love/hate me according to my OC’s personality (and not cheat by using the Feast Day gifts). In DA2 I have a different personality Hawke each time and they make varying choices but in the end I have never sided with templars. I think in my 2nd Inquisition playthrough I’ll side with templars though out of curiosity. 

07) Go-to adventuring group?

Always depends on who is the love interest and who are the closest friends of my protagonist. Even if the team comp is terrible. 

08) Which of your characters did you put the most thought into?

Blue Surana was my first character ever so she’s had the longest time of me adding/subtracting/updating her and her story. That being said I like to think I’ve put a lot of thought into my Mahariel and Amell as well. Out of my Hawkes, Claira is the most developed. 

09) Favorite romance?

Fenris. 

10) Have you read any of the comics/books?

I've read all the comics and I’ve read “The Calling” and “The Last Flight” I plan to read the other books soon hopefully. 

11) If you read them, which was your favorite book?

I really recommend The Last Flight if you’re a die hard Grey Wardens fan like me. The main character inspired the name for my Mahariel. 

12) Favorite DLCs?

 I genuinely forgot Awakening is DLC since it came with my game but, yeah. I love all the companions in Awakening and I wish it were longer. “The Exiled Prince” is also another fave since I genuinely like Sebastian Vael and he’s a kickass squadmate. 

13) Things that annoy you.

The white-washing, what happened to Orsino, the way Inquisition doesn’t take into account Hawke could have been a blood mage, no healing as an Inquisition mage, the fucking Requisition Officer, the way you can’t be nicer to Sera, no dwarf romances, and how the Inquisitor can’t call Cullen out on certain things (Cassandra too, honestly, though I love her she can be really insensitive to other cultures). That’s just in the games, don’t even get me started on some of the fandom. 

14) Orlais or Ferelden?

Frozen Dog Lovers > Snooty Elf Oppressors, any day 

15) Templars or mages?

Mages, no contest.

16) If you have multiple characters, are they in different/parallel universes or in the same one?

I have 3 worldstates that I have playthroughs for, and a Multi-Warden AU

Worldstate 1 - Arcane Warrior/Battlemage/Fire Mage, mutual-pining-for-Sten, grey-sexual Blue Surana + Spirit Healer/Ice Mage, Fenris Romance, gay Akono Hawke

Worldstate 2 - Ranger/Assasin Archer, Zevran Romance, straight Isseya Mahariel + Blood Mage/Earth Mage, Sebastian rivalmance, panromantic/ace Henley Hawke

Worldstate 3 - Blood Mage/Spirit Healer/Entropy Mage, Leliana Romance, bisexual Alyss Amell (dies) + Shadow/Dual-Blade Rogue, Anders Romance, bisexual Claira Hawke

Multi-Warden AU: Blue Surana is main warden and recruits the others after Ostagar forming what I call the “Warden Squad”. Most thought-out world, that I have the most writing for but will probably never get around to writing the actual fic. We will see. Also, I need to make some Inquisitors for all these worldstates....they’re planned out I just need to force myself to actually play them. 

17) What did you name your pets? (mabari, summoned animals, mounts, etc)

Mabari’s: Rabbit (Blue Surana), Dog (Isseya Mahariel), Teddy (Alyss Amell), Tor (Akono Hawke),  Better Carver “BC” (Henley Hawke), Bear (Claira Hawke). Isseya Mahariel numbers her wolf and bear summons A-# for wolves and B-# for bears. 

18) Have you installed any mods?

I play on xbox so nah, sadly. 

19) Did your Warden want to become a Grey Warden?

Blue Surana didn’t want to leave the Circle and Isseya Mahariel didn’t want to give up searching for Tamlen so “no” for both of them, but they both were amazing at it. Alyss Amell, as much as it terrified her to leave to fight things, wanted to be free of Kinloch Hold. 

20) Hawke’s personality?

Akono is almost exclusively Purple though he has rare Blue moments when speaking to Carver or sometimes Fenris. 

Henley is solidly Red except maybe once or twice chose purple banter for talking to her only friend, Varric. 

Claira is the most varied in that she’s split 60-40 between Blue and Red, meaning well and wanting to be all good/peaceful, but having a wild, passionate temper when defending mages and her friends/family. I also headcanon she has the foulest mouth of my Hawkes though she actively tries to stop cursing it’s an unbreakable habit. She’s also a shameless flirt and hits that heart button almost every single time it comes up (I wouldn’t consider her Purple at all though since she isn’t sarcastic and is the type to laugh at jokes rather than make her own).  

21) Did you make matching armor for your companions in Inquisition?

I made Cole and I matching outfits because I love him ._.

22) If your character(s) could go back in time to change one thing, what would they change?

This could get long if I listed everyone so, Blue Surana regrets not telling Sten how she felt sooner, though she doubts it would have changed anything. Isseya Mahariel wishes Tamlen could have been found sooner so the Joining could have saved him. 

23) Do you have any headcanons about your character(s) that go against canon?

My entire Multi-Warden AU is a big “fuck you” to canon because all those potential wardens deserve to live dammit.

24) Who did you leave in the Fade?

In this house we do not leave Hawkes in the Fade. So, sorry Loghain :(

25) Favorite mount?

I legit forgot I had a mount 90% of the time. At least I got to hear more dialogue I guess. 

[drunkonnjealousy]

My Reputation Secret Session Experience

(an abbreviated version to keep confidentiality)

I got a DM from Taylor Nation before the London SS had happened, so I honestly had no idea what the “secret event” was. They called me and said the event was in Rhode Island, and I mean the only thing there is her house but I didn’t know what the event entailed. Knowing Taylor, I was like she’s gonna make it so fun and so detailed and so personal whatever it is.

I was not able to focus on anything for two weeks because I was just thinking about taylor and rhode island. I took a train from NYC to Rhode Island the night before. Wednesday October 18, 2017 was such a GORGEOUS day. The water was SO BLUE. THE SUN WAS SHINING. and there was a helicopter hovering in front of taylor’s house which annoyed me but yeah I’ll try to get over that. Fast forward to being at her house. First of all, her security detail is hilarious. They are so nice and funny and were cracking jokes the whole time. The very first person I talked to was none other than Scott Swift, the man the legend, wearing a striped sweater only a dad would buy and his pockets overflowing with 1989 guitar picks. I spent a good chunk of time chatting with him on the deck he’s amazing—we stan forever. Also I legit hung out and excitedly mingled in Taylor’s kitchen so long that I forgot it wasn’t normal to be in her kitchen. There was a huge spread of Chick-fil-a nuggets, pizza, chips, custom Rep cookies and M&Ms, Smart Water and Diet Coke. *side note i’m a vegetarian but if taylor would have offered me a nugget i would have forgotten my vow against meat* I was so comfortable and having so much fun that it just felt like I was at my friend’s house party, which I was. But then like every 30 minutes it would hit me that to the outside world, she was THE Taylor Swift, and I was in her kitchen… Fast forward to Andrea coming down to also hang out and mingle with us. She smelled amazing (so did the entire house). She came up to me and Sol and said hello with a huge smile on her face and then pulled us both into a tight hug at the same time and said “YOU BEAUTIFUL SOULS.” and honestly I just wanted to hug her ten more times and be like THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE MADAM PRESIDENT. Side note, the kitchen has adorable childhood pictures of Taylor and Austin and pictures of the family on the beach and its all v cute. Also I saw the mermaid, I MEAN THE MERMAID that taylor and selena posed by and i was like wow this iconic. ALSO as many of you know i’m not only a taylor stan, but a huge todrick stan, and i have been for years. so i died a little when i realized that i was leaning against the same kitchen counter that they were sitting on during thanksgiving and i was like wow its cool i’m fine we’re fine EVERYTHING IS FINE. Fast forward to Austin also coming downstairs to mingle. He’s adorable and I love him. I didn’t get to chat with him bc it was kind of crowded but he was smiling and laughing and looked genuinely happy to be there. Tree was also floating around the kitchen here and there and let me just say she’s GORGEOUS. (also she was the MVP later when I needed to pee) Okay fast forward some more and it’s time to move into the living room. There are cushions on the floor and I’m sitting with all of my friends, including several of us who are from NYC. There are people setting the room and Andrea, Scott and Austin just look so excited that we’re there and that made me so happy. After what felt like centuries of people opening doors, stomping upstairs and shutting the curtains, it was time for the queen to make her entrance. The door to my right flew open and that tall drink of water in black thigh high boots and blonde curls and a huge smile entered the room and collectively we all made noises that probably sounded non-human. She said “Hi, I’m Taylor” as she sat down in this throne of a chair and crossed her legs that are collectively longer than the great wall of china. She said “you’ve done your detective work right (my detectivey heart fell out of my detectivey ass) and you are at the Reputation Secret Sessions”

**and that’s where the cone of silence comes on and what happened for the next several hours at the secret sessions STAYS at the secret sessions.**

So after I DIED because she obviously played us every track of the album. It was time for picturesssss. As I walked in to see Taylor, I didn’t even make it to her yet before she strutted toward me and scooped me into a hug so tight that I said “hey i’m kelsea” into her hair ;askdjflskfj She pulled away and was like “yeah I know, and you spell it S-E-A right?” AND LEMME TELL YOU i’ve gone my entire 24 years of life with my name spelled wrong, even people I’ve known for years will spell it Kelsey. and I replied to Taylor, “UM YEAH” and she got so excited she fist pumped and then put her hand up for a high five and we literally had the most epic high five of my entire life I’m pretty sure they heard it in Australia. ok. At this point Sol walked in and I introduced her to Taylor too. She loved Sol so much. so so much. Then I asked Taylor if she found me on Tumblr or Twitter, and she immediately replied “Tumblr” with a nod. and then she goes “I KNOW you love TODRICK, and I LOVE that.”  and I’m pretty sure that was the moment my brain short-circuited.

and i was like “OKAY well TN contacted me via Twitter and I was real confused because my handle is  @ toddyownsmyass” and her face lit up, her mouth dropped open, she grabbed my hand and laughed and said “OH MY GOD HAHAHHA”. 

Next I told her about our annual NYC July 9th party. I was like listen taylor, the entire reason i met sol is because we’re tumblr friends and we have this party every year at sofia’s apt in the upper west side where we stay up until 1:58 AM listening to Last Kiss and then she was like “AWWWW” and I remember her face just looking at the two of us in pure amazement. OKAY now it was time for pictures and Taylor was like “we’re gonna take a group shot first and then we’ll do individuals ok?” and during our group photo she hugged both me and Sol so tightly. 

She looks at me and I put my hands together and I’m like “Okay, I want to recreate a photo you and todrick did on the couch” and she got so excited she was like “GREAT but I’m not doing the splits again” as she walks over to this gorgeous white couch. and i was like “nah girl i CANT do the splits, i wanna do that back to back one” and she was so invested it was adorable. It took us a few minutes of sitting back to back and discussing our knee placement, our hand placement, and both of us kept turning and looking over our shoulders to make sure we were matching and coordinating our bodies right. and then right before the picture taylor goes “what should we do with this hand? oh i know lets hold hands” and she grabbed my hand and held it so tightly. i’m pretty sure you can see in my facial expression how much that meant to me—i’m BEAMING. out of all forms of social interaction, hand holding is one of the most intimate,it’s not something we do with very many people if you really think about it. after the picture is taken, we are still sitting back to back on the couch, holding hands, and she turns to look at me and goes “that’s the cutest pose i’ve ever done” and i’m all “Awwww thanks!” thinking she’s just being a sweetheart. and then her expression is happy but a little more serious, and she goes “No, I’m being serious, like I’ve never done anything cuter.” and ladies that’s probably the moment I was like “HI I’M KELSEA AND I WELCOME DEATH WITH OPEN ARMS”. It was going to be time to leave because we had already taken our pictures but Taylor grabbed me and Sol again and squeezed us and gushed “you little FLOWER buttons” and at the time my brain was like ???? I thought maybe she was going to say we were flowers, and then halfway through changed her mind to buttons…well ANYWAYS she reblogged that photo of us later and clarified that she believes sol and i embody the aesthetic of tiny adorable little flower-shaped buttons and now i will no longer look at flowers nor buttons the same way and Sol and I text each other randomly “FLOWER BUTTONS” just to make each other cry it’s great. okay moving on… It was time to leave and right before i walked away, I yelled to her “TAYLOR, YOU’RE INVITED TO OUR JULY 9TH PARTY ANYTIME, UPPER WEST SIDE, NYC, SEE YOU THERE!” and i did some mix between dabbing and pointing that can only be attributed to all of the time i spent in college with frat boys. and with this big grin on her face she yelled back “THANKS! LOVE YOU GUYS!” and i stumbled out of the room to pick up the Reputation merch bag Taylor gave all of us (GET YOU A WOMAN). As her security guard let us into a van to be taken back to our car, I asked what time it was and it was so late Sofia and I had missed our train back to Manhattan. We didn’t care. We were stranded in Rhode Island but WHO CARES BC TAYLOR SWIFT LOVES US. Ali from TN was like, “you guys have friends at your hotel right? like you have somewhere to go?” so sweet i love ali– we stan her forever. Sofia and I went back to our hotel, which we had already checked out of mind you, and sat in the hallway, dazed and happy, from 2-4am. Sofia posted a photo of us on tumblr and taylor liked it and i was like wow taylor knows we’re stranded that’s hilarious i bet she’s laughing. We ended up calling a car service to pick us up in rhode island AND DRIVE US BACK TO NEW YORK CITY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. I got back to my apt on the upper east side at 5am and took a nap and then got up for work and tried to be an adult but it was a very sad attempt. This is a very abbreviated account of what happened that fateful day Taylor welcomed me into her home for 8+ hours. A lot of it has to stay secret and confidential until the album comes out on Nov 10. Even more of it will likely never leave the walls of that gorgeous house by the sea. I will cherish these memories always and I know I am forever changed as a person from the Reputation Secret Sessions.

Thank you @taylorswift for EVERYTHING. I’m so proud to call you a friend.

[ask-svt-hearteu]

RANDOM CRAP THE ADMINS HAVE SAID TO EACH OTHER

admins: Hai everyone! To celebrate another follower milestone, we'd like to present-

RANDOM CRAP THE ADMINS HAVE SAID TO EACH OTHER (via announcements on our KakaoTalk)

(haha i hope this is funny and entertaining for you guys, also this was just us joking/messing around)

we sacrificed our sanity for this.

we need jisoos

MEMESOL DOES NOT APPROVE

i stay shook lol

YOU'RE WRITING NOT ME HEHE

IM JIHOON EVERYTIME THEY ASK HIM TO DO AEYGO

you can’t not love Diva boo

AND I FEEL PERSONALLY ATTACKED

im getting the joshua roll

WE’RE NEVER READY

jess do you like messi

i ship everyone with everyone

I STAN CHILDREN

JISOOS CHRIST

Every carat ever: before discovering seventeen) dang there’s thirteen members… how am I ever going to tell them apart. After like a week: That’s jun’s leg

Me: I refuse to be shorter than lee Jihoon by an inch. My friend: wtf why

WHERE ARE YOU HIDING JISOOS

LET ME BE SHOOK

ALL OF SVT WILL COME FOR YOU EVENTUALLY

//INCOHERENT SCREAMING//

So do me a favor and back up to Antarctica thanks

You didn’t see me REGRETTING MY LIFE while editing fam

I was walking out of the movie theater singing mansae

you go to sleep later but wake up earlier what kind of sorcery is this

VERKWAN IS JUST LIFE

And they just sat there like, “don’t interrupt the crazy Joshua stan unless you want to die"

LIKE SWEETIE THE GROUND AINT GOING TO GIVE YOU THE ANSWERS

TWO TEEN TWO TEEN

OUR FOLLOWERS ARE WILD

XU MINGHAO.

ZOOMING HOW.

IF JEONGHAN HAS A KID WHO WILL BE HIS BABY

I was just having a mental breakdown

Me: “My life is hamburger” | My grandmother: you like hamburger? Go to Mcdonalds | Me: LMAO NO ITS JUST SOMETHING WONWOO SAID

THATS WHAT I GET FOR QUOTING WONWOO

I. CANT. BE. LEAF. I. FORGOT. LEGIT. ONE. OF. MY. FAV. GROUPS.

i need to think of romantic cheesy stuff

LETS MAKE IT SO FLUFFY EVERYONE WILL WANT TO DIE

Whatever group it is GotSeventeen

drink water kids not alcohol

do drugs kids not school

hoshi just chose me i didnt do anything

IM NOT CRYJING YOU ARE

STAN TALENT. STAN CHINA LINE STRONG POWER THANK YOU.

“kidney function is not a right its a privilege”

CHAN IS A QT”

Waiting for confetti to fly out of my heart like in aju nice

the fun part is if people want to complain about asks being off, they can't because asks are off

MY NAME IS SOONYOUNG AND I KNEW I'D CATCH YOU SOON

do you ever think of random svt moments at school and you're about to explode and your teacher is like do you think the Pythagorean theorem is funny

does anyone else just feel attacked if your bias so much as breathes I'm sitting here trying to have lunch and a random Joshua moment comes along and I nearly choke

Jeonghan is my main competition with Joshua so you can understand my pain

MAN IF ANYONE'S GONNA DIG OUR GRAVES, IT'S GONNA BE SEVENTEEN

TUMBLR SHOULD PAY FOR OUR SUFFERING LOL

get you a boyfriend who can make your heart race as much as svt can

WTF WHO INVENTED ANGST LEMME HUNT THEM DOWN

right like yo we ain't svt either empty your bank account and go to a fansign bc you ain't getting answers for free

what svt crack watching fan would think of anything besides meanie HONESTLY

lmao I saw the post we are a disaster

we are a hurricane

yea haha no SATAN BEGONE

WHERE IS YOUR TAG

HONESTLY I'M LIKE SOONYOUNG YOU LOOK HOT AF BUT PLZ DON'T EVER LOSE WEIGHT BC YOU NEED TO KEEP THOSE CHEEKS

I'D RATHER HAVE "THAT WOULDN'T BE GREAT" TATTOOED ON MY ARM

you know you've spent too long on tumblr when you start referencing yourself

kpop ruined and fixed my life

(a photo of Memesol with chips in his mouth like a duck beak staring into your soul)

yeah yeah I hope they can start dating after like 5 years? bc I want to see mini seventeens

I HELP PEOPLE DATE SVT BY WRITING AU'S OKAY

(about the hip-hop team's mixtape volume 14) I WANT TO KNOW WHO THE FUCK DARED TO TAKE OVER CHWE HANSOL'S BODY IMMA FIGHT YOU

AND WHO THE FUCK TAUGHT WONWOO HOW TO CURSE IN ENGLISH HANSOL I EFFING BLAME YOUR DRAKE SONGS

(Seri and me still dying over the hip-hop team's mixtape) SEUNGKWAN COME COLLECT YOUR MAN

TBH I'M THINKING JOSHUA DEFINITELY NOT AS HOLY AS WE MAKE HIM OUT TO BE WITH HIS LONG SHOWERING HEADASS

AND TO THINK I WAS LISTENING TO EYES NOSE LIPS BEFORE THIS UN HAENG II CHI II CHI BULLSHIT

(a photo of Wonwoo crying with the caption "*ulgo shipji ana*")

FRICK YOU AND SVT I HATE AND LOVE YOU ALL (finally done freaking out over the hip-hop team's mixtape)

LEE JIHOON IS SHAKING IN HIS GRAVE

I KNOW WHO KILLED LEE JIHOON, YOU DID WITH THIS MDROXKBSNCOSWG

I've already sold my soul to seventeen, what more do you want

when you can't Hangul properly

PLEDIS. STOP. FREAKING. SLEEPING.ON. TALENT. AND. DPERIVING. US. (about China line)

has Joshua ever cried bc of Naruto

Svt was an experimental group sent to us by other beings in the universe bc they thought the earth was too dark and depressing without them

I must have been too focused on Hoshi's arms

where can I find a cup of black coffee that tastes like cotton candy

BASICALLY I WAS PUSHED INTO HOSHI LIKE SOMEONE WOULD BE IN OUR AU'S

I'M SORRY THAT THE MERE MENTION OF SHUA RENDERS ME AS USEFUL AS A BLADE OF GRASS

WOW KWON SOONYOUNG YOU DRINK SO PRETTY

tags you'd use on tumblr: #UM #THAT'S ILLEGAL

I NEED TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL I'M STUPID LOL

"hold up is soonyoung 17 years older than me?" "wow what a coincidence" "wtf seri he's 7 years older than you"

me thinks, "okay cmon we can get like 3 au's done today"

reality hits me like, "lmao watchu saying you don't got no time turner"

SERI MY DAUGHTER I WOULD LIKE TO GIVE YOU SOME ENCOURAGING AND INSPIRING WORDS BEFORE YOUR FIRST DAY OF HIGH SCHOOL WHAT I'M ABOUT TO SAY IS CRITICAL FOR YOUR SUCCESS- stan svt

and I have the soonyoung syndrome

I think I just died and have no more lives left

I have to write dates for thirteen 18+ year old boys

pffffffftttt sleep is for the weak

you're never gonna find another friend like me ;)

I CAN'T USE MY TIREDNESS AS AN EXCUSE FOR CRAZY GOSH

we're fuckin screwed

I feel like a swimming fool

wow you doing drugs? lame, I'm writing svt au's GET ON MY MOTHERFUCKA LEVEL

but all my svt songs are my night songs, my shower songs, my hw songs,,,

and I said, "you know I probably couldn't eat that ice cream bc I'm too salty"

I said, "you're a prefect match for that ice cream because you're so sweet" ;)

may Hong Jisoo be my guiding light (crying emojis)

and I thought 'I like suffering so might as well'

my relationship with angst is pretty much the same as my relationship with seventeen

HAVE AN EGG TART

MY FAV IS KWON SOONYOUNG AND NO I'M NOT BIASED OR ANYTHING PFFT

I can't listen to boom boom without a flannel or dress shirt on so I can stick out the side like they do at the beginning choreo:,,,)

I like svt //finger guns// //runs away//

I'd gladly be collected by soonyoung thanks

where do I sell my soul to get a studio version?

[paleconda]

blog- 9th february.

i- as an american doing pretty damn well job of pulling off as british- do not like to do american-like things. such having having wet and cringe humour, being unnecessarily loud, being blatantly ignorant on world culture/affairs (no offence), and especially opening myself up. one thing i’ve noticed is that brits always keep to themselves and rarely discuss thier deep feelings and thoughts with other people. they’re not very open to tel you their life story, and i’m the same way.not to say that i’m not down to earth, bc i very much am. i just stay quaint when it comes to public situations. that being said, my journey and story on my sexuality is very personal, deep and complicated, and unfortunately, i feel like i have to go into massive detail on what’s all happened and how it’s impacted me. it’ll make me vulnerable, but easier to understand and empathise with. this is going to be a particularly long read tho.

the date is 07/07/2010. it was the summer before the 7th grade and i had just realised my sexuality only a few months earlier. the worst night of my life. the night my parents found out about my sexuality. i was only 12. but the way the found out was rather quite stupid and embarrassing (no i wasn’t wanking and it wasn’t porn). at the time, i didn't have a phone. and my favourite show would come on at 1 am. but i didn't feel like staying up late, so what i did was borrow my grandmas phone and set an alarm. well in the alarm it had an option for a message. well my dumbass self put “get the hell up you bisexual fucker”. yeah. well, when my grandma went to puerto rico for a funeral, she left her phone bc she wouldn’t have any service over there. and i had forgotten to take off that alarm. so my mom is just going thru the phone (idk why) and she happens to come across it. she calls me downstairs and confronts me about it. after about 10 minutes what seems like an interrogation ( and me not talking, i felt as tho i had no choice but to admit it). they started crying and told me how its never okay even if the world says it is, and they brought up sodom and gomorrah and told me i needed to have a long prayer. my relationship with them hasn't never really been the same since then. so after that, i kinda ignored thinking about my sexuality. i would just go thru my day, occasionally look at gay pictures at night, then go to sleep. then, toward the end of 7th grade, i ended up taking nudes and sending them on http://showyourdick.com (terrible, i know) and they. ended. up. seeing. the. pics. it made things a shit tonne worse. i was still closeted at school, i had been accused of being gay as early as 4th grade, before i even knew i was gay (im actually bi/pan, but lets just use the word gay for now). fast foward to the beginning of 9th grade (late 2012). i had already been stanning nicki for almost a year, but i was still closeted. i also had a tumblr account(not this one). not only did i still kinda feel bad about being gay, but i was terribly insecure as well. i ended up starting to cut myself around late September. but for a while it was only on my thighs bc i didnt want anyone to see. later, in january 2013, i was feeling really depressed one night, and i kinda went on a cutting tirade. (trigger warning) i even cut my arm. i remember feeling the warm blood running down my leg and feeling dizzy, with my ears fogging up and nearly passing out in the bathroom. this next part may sound wierd. maybe its just me, maybe it was the fogging in my ears, idk. but i remember hearing nickis voice, almost aloud, and she said Stop. crazy init.  the next morning, i got really scared, bc my sleeve wouldn't completely cover up the scars. well, one of my teachers saw (i still dont know who) and reported it to the office, and one of the guidance counselors called my parents and told them. another really bad day. the next day, my guidance counselor called me down, even the principle came in the room. they told me they were sending me to a place where i would have therapy. i agreed to it, but i wasnt aware that i would be forced to spend 3 nights there. its called being Baker Acted.  the deputy at my school called my mom and told her where they were taking me but they didn't tell her i was required by law to spend 72 consecutive hours there. so when she came to pick me up that night, thats when she found out. needless to say she was crying. alot. and as if it wasn't bad enough, it just so happened to be her wedding anniversary.  i end up relapsing 2 more times after that whole ordeal. the last time was march 9th, 2013. so things temporarily improve for the summer. i ended up (finally) coming out to my closest friends. but i never made a big deal out of it. like i never made a big post on facebook or IG or anything. I kinda just let people figure it out and have their own assumptions. so september rolls around and i end up getting depressed again (september is always a bad month for me) but i promised myself i wouldnt cut myself again. so i end up overdosing. alot. 7 pills at a time. (it was just vyvanse tho, its not like it was percs or oxycodone.) so my parents went thru my texts and they found out about what i was doing and thats when the trust begins to deterioate again. they would always take away my phone at night. they said its bc of some report they saw on the news where having your phone in your room while your sleeping is unhealthy (which.. they were right. but it’s ovbious that wasn’t the real reason they took it.) it was bloody annoying. but back then, they would only take it on school nights, and sometimes i would sneak it back, and although they got mad, they wouldn't really do anything about it. also, as you could’ve probably guessed, i had downloaded a couple of gay apps because i was curious. the first time i downloaded grindr, i was in the 8th grade. and it wasn't the only app i would download. there was also hornet and jack’d. well, theres this one guy who i ended up talking to. and i end up sending nudes to him on kik. and my parents end up going through my kik. this was in december 2013. my horny self was just tryna hookup. welp. they see the messages. things go downfuckinghill fast. they barge into my room, one second they're yelling at me shoving the screen in my face and then the next thing I know my dad is shoves me down and kicks me multiple times, and my mom ends up calling the police and filing a report. to say it was traumatising is an understatement. but because it's kik, theres not much they can do. this renders me phoneless all the way until june of 2015. and at this point i wanna take a little bit of a detour. bc i almost feel as though my life as a normal teenager has been robbed.

some of you may ask why i didn’t move in with relatives or just file a report to social services.

they wouldn't let me. and bc they're broke and aren't good at finances, that's what they (we’re) doing anyway. my family is living with my grandparents for like the 4th time since i was born. so they change the password in my phone and im only allowed to use it when they say (this is february 2014, roughly) and i have to be in the same room as them. and then in march, something goes wrong with my phone and it wont read the SIM card. so now i can't even call or text.  things just didn’t get better that year. its summer 2014, and now they suddenly change the password to my laptop. (they still won't tell me the password). i started crying and begged them to change it back. so they did. but just a month later, on July 11th, they change it. and its stayed that way. so now its june of 2015. they buy me a new phone, but they said there are "rules for having the phone" and they take it away every night. well, in november, i had downloaded grindr. theres this feature on my phone where i can hide an app, but one day, back in november, i forgot to hide the app. so they saw it. and they didn't even open the app (it was password locked) and i refused to give them the password. so now im phoneless.... again. and this time they wouldn't even let me use it... at all. so i went back to having to use my grandmas phone and computer to log onto Twitter. for the longest time, i could only be on twitter from 4-8pm on weekdays bc thats whenever i had access. fast foward to april 2016 and im taking a college class across town. all of a sudden, my mom hands me my phone, and im shocked. she says im only having it on a "limited basis". so for about a month, im only allowed to use it outside the house, but they eventually let up. every once in a while, we still get into an argument about it.  may 2016: its time for me to choose what college to go to. my mom had made me apply to a christian university about 30 miles away. i didnt wanna go, but the other college i had been looking at had ran into financial trouble, the big public university in my city didn't accept me, and i didn't wanna go to a community college. plus, the christian university (southeastern University) offered me a bunch of money in scholarships. and i honestly felt forced to go. by august of 2016, things start to drastically change. most of it is in a good way, but there are still some things that are... iffy, for lack of a better term. i’m beginning to lose weight and my grades are actually good for once, but my phone is still taken way at night all the way to december, when they finally stop. then in january 2017, i am finally able to buy an iphone. at this point, everything sort of catches up to the previous post. there’s still loads for me to explain but this is enough for now.

on a side note, it’s amazing how different things are for me now after looking back at all that. i still can’t believe that we are in 2019 and that i graduated high school nearly 3 years ago. i’m gobsmacked at how much i have changed since then. it’s a lot to ponder on. and i’m glad to say that i’m currently at the happiest place i’ve been in for years. maybe ever.

end.