#HE CALLED HER HIS NIECE I

[groblinboy]

IM!!????? That episode!!?????? ??!!!?!!!!?!!??!

[mxwhore]

mutuals. i am getting caught in my own bitterness again...

[slashingdisneypasta]

Imagine your siblings child referring your F/O as their Uncle/Aunt because you two have been together so long !!

You've been together practically their whole lives, whether your F/O is good with/likes kids, they were always around when you babysat (Because you live together. Maybe they were helping you with your niece/nephew! Maybe they were just watching TV in the same room and got dinner ready so you could continue keeping an eye on the baby. Maybe they hid away in your shared bedroom the whole time but the child always knew they were there), they maybe even went to family gatherings with you!- they have just been a constant in your niece/nephews life. Just like you.

In this kids mind, you and your F/O are a package deal.

[talentforlying]

also forgot to post about it yesterday, but i have designated december 2nd as constantine's official catch-up day with his niece gemma!! they don't see each other often since she "quit magic for good" (or is very good at pretending she has) but the holidays are a hard time for them both and it's too awkward to explain every year why you avoid your last living relative, so they've agreed on early december for an annual short dinner and chat. sometimes they call on christmas day, but they never meet up; neither of them wants to do christmas without cheryl.

[emile-hides]

I’m so obsessed with the Mario family and while I’m a very hard Uncle Tony stan I’m also insanely obsessed with Auntie Marie and her daughter. I want to know all about them.

[just-an-enby-lemon]

Cluemaster: Hey, bro, I know I never call...

Kiteman: You did drunk call me that one time.

Cluemaster: I already said I was sorry for spreading around that you were in love with your kite and calling you to brag about it. As you said I was hella drunk and angry your weird ass podcast somehow now has the same level of fans as my old gameshow. Who the fuck cares that much about kites? Or C list vilany?

Kiteman: Did you just call to remind me why I hate you?

Cluemaster: Of course not, Chucky boy, your my favorite lil bro.

Kiteman: Arthur... I'm your only brother.

Cluemaster: Yeah? You're still my favorite.

Kiteman: Okay. Fine. What do you want?

Cluemaster: You're good with kids right?

Kiteman: Oh do you want me to babysit little Steph? I haven't see her since she was a baby! That'll be soo much fun!

Cluemaster: Oh, no, no. She is too old for a babysitter. I kindda called 'cause I need your advice.

Kiteman: Sure. Go on.

Cluemaster: How would you stop a prank war between your teen daugther and your bussiness partner that happens to be living at your house?

Kiteman: Woah. Define prank war?

Cluemaster: Like they just being annoying with each other... like non-stop Shrek music and painting one of her walls green?

Kiteman: Are you working with a child, Artie?

Cluemaster: No. Childrem are not really good at puzzle robberies.

Kiteman: So who the hell is in a prank war with your fourteen year old daugther? Is it that Polka Dot weirdo?

Cluemaster: ... Riddler.

Kiteman: Be honest, Arthur.

Cluemaster: I am!

Kiteman: Why the fuck would he work with you? Didn't he like was brought on to one of your trials and tried to sue you for being a copycat?

Cluemaster: No idea. I don't really remember all my trials.

Kiteman: Fair. Still isn't he like an actual treat? Like Batman actually tries to be always involved in his crimes instead of just sending a Robin or a cop kindda treat? Or hangs out with Cooblepot and Harley Quinn and fucking Catwoman and even Scarecrow and Joker kindda treat?

Cluemaster: Yes, so what?

Kiteman: He is waaay above your league. How the fuck do you got him to work with you?

Cluemaster: He is working for me because he recognizes my genius.

Kiteman: *sarcasm* Yeah, sure. At least it explains why I've been hearing that your plans don't totally suck anymore.

Cluemaster: Will you help me or not?

Kiteman: Anything for little Steph. But seriusly bro, the guy is a mentally instable killer, he is real Arkham loonie, A-lister and all this shit are you sure is safe to have him living with you? Specially if he and Stephanie are fighting!? She is just a kid! What if this prank war thing escalates and next thing she is in saw type death trap or something?

Cluemaster: Well than help me not to! I can't just kick him out, do you know how much I've been proffiting later?

Kiteman: And also he is an instable killer that used to hate you and wouldn't react well to being kicked out?

Cluemaster: Yeah, this too. Look I think you're overestimating the guy. He is smart and all and he can take a punch but I could take him out real easy in a one on one. He screamed like a little girl when he found a roach in the kitchem. I think I'll be fine.

Kiteman: Sure, you do you.... Maybe.... you could just.... help them find something they have in common? A TV show they like or something. It used yo work with us. They will bond over the thing and forget they hate each other for a bit.

Cluemaster: See was it that hard to help me?

*Chuck hangs up*

[Three months later]

Cluemaster: Chuck! I need help!

Kiteman: Can you call in another time? I'm bowlling with the guys, Calendar Man and Condiment King cannot win a second time, one weird rap about their love conquering all was ENOUGHT.

Cluemaster: Is about the whole prank war between Nygma and Stephanie thing.

Kiteman: Oh. So I guess my advice didn't work.

Cluemaster: No, no, it did. It worked way to well actually.

Kiteman: *worried* That sounds bad.

Cluemaster: Yeah... it happened that the thing they had in common was that they really hate me.

[mariatesstruther]

okay hear me out modern au where Tommy and Maria first meet in a club in their 20s and they bump into each other while dancing and just start dancing together and they just hit it off but in the end they both forget to give each other their numbers so both of them go back to the same club the next week to hopefully meet each other again (also Tess and Maria definitely go clubbing together because I love them as best friends)

cowboy!!!! yes yes YES i LOVE this. and u could extend this meet-cute into like a whole thing where tommy and maria keep trying to meet at the club and exchange information, but something gets in the way everytime!!!! kid emergency!!! bar fight!!! cocaine bear on the loose!!! zombie apocalypse—who knows????

im thinking the first time, tess drags maria to a bar she likes because she’s been trying to get the attention of this hot dilfy guy at the bar, but he’s always tailing along with his friend. by tess’s design, maria and tommy meet and and hit it off and dance (to maria maria by santana) the night away. they fall in love and decide they want to go home together, so maria goes to the bathroom—but joel randomly comes up and is like “tommy, hey sorry selena’s mom called, sarah had a nightmare and she wants us both to pick her up, we gotta go” and in true miller dad-uncle panic they BOLT. by the time maria comes back, tess is like “idk dude, mine got a call so they had to go. seemed like an emergency. bummer” and they assume thats that

on the flip side: everythings okay with sarah, but after tommy and joel tuck her in tommy’s suddenly just like “fuck—fuck!!!!!” and joels like “what? what???” and he’s like “i didn’t get her number :(:(:(:( fuck” and so joel’s like “it’s okay, i see her friend there all the time” and so tommy’s like “omg :D do you have her friends number?” “well… no” “joel… what the fuck man.” so they make a plan to go back next week with the hopes of at least seeing tess and getting maria’s number from there—tommy also wants to get tess’s number for joel, but he doesn’t need to know that

little do THEY know, tess and maria are already plotting for next weekend. they show up to that bar looking fine as FUCK—they quite literally turn heads walking through the door. of course the miller brothers are there, sitting in a booth all the way in the back and waiting, making eyes. tess and maria are not shy, so they start making their way over. unfortunately, some drunk asshole decides to try to get handsy with tess on her way there—which results in her punching him in the face, which results in him trying to punch her in the face. she dodges, of course, but it starts a full-on bar brawl that the miller boys jump into without hesitation (joel manages to tackle and land a few good ones on og drunk asshole too so. slay.). none of them get arrested or anything, but they definitely don’t get eachother numbers on account of joel and tommy having to duck the cops

so i guess they gotta keep trying ;)

[colgatebluemintygel]

toothpaste!!!! just spreading some love to the moots 2day,, hope you are well!!!!

REGGIE BABY HIIIIIIII <333 i am well, i've had a restful day… i am catsitting for my parents and am currently sitting in front of the fire w a cuppa pretending to do work but actually watching gardener’s world 💗💗💗 it’s me and monty don against the world

hope you're well xxxx sending the love right back 2 you !!!

[fantasticgothicpeachsludge]

*Vent post* you can read the tags if you want

[running-in-the-dark]

.......

asked my husband to please watch my (our) niece for a couple hours until I get up. because my sleep schedule is too fucked up to get up earlier. and then I wake up. because the doorbell rang three times. which he didn't hear because he's busy playing a game on his PC. in the office. while my niece is still asleep in the living room. it's almost 1 pm.

just fucking say no then if you don't care! I'm so pissed off. it did not occur to him that he shouldn't let her sleep that long (we've had that conversation many times before, every time she sleeps here, so it's not that it's new to him). it did not occur to him that maybe it's not the best idea to have his stupid headphones on & play a game that takes all of his focus while he is responsible for a child.

yeah, I could have just gotten up earlier. but I already have trouble sleeping and it never ends well when I try to defy my sleep schedule that much. we've got an appointment this afternoon so I won't be able to have a nap, and I can't get through this day on 3 hours of sleep.

I thought it'd be fine! why not! he's an adult, he's watched her before, she's not that little anymore, there's not much that could go wrong. it would literally just be: watch Buffy with her and make sure she eats breakfast. but no. he does what he always does and ignores everything else. and when I confronted him it was the same 'but she's still asleep so I thought 🤷🤷🤷' as always. absolutely no sign that he even understands why I'm upset.

I've had it. I'm so done. how can you be this careless and irresponsible. it would have been 2, maybe 3 hours. just sitting there watching TV with her. but nooo that would be too damn hard! and saying 'I'd rather not watch her' would also be too hard! so just sit there and pretend the kid isn't there at all. fucking brilliant.

[cherry-bomb-ships]

Yo btw I feel bad I haven't talked about her yet but Cortex's "niece" Nina is MY DAUGHTER NOW and I LOVE HER and every lil evil thing she does makes me so PROUD and I'm not afraid to TELL HER THAT 🥺💖🥺💖🥺💖🥺

[mxwhore]

afraid for my brother hours

[lesmiserablol]

you guysssss i scheduled my surgery for august and my doctor is really optimistic it’ll help my chronic pain 🤩

[fromkenari]

The fucking tragedy of spending all day watching Heartstopper and crying about how awful my high school experience was and being so happy that in this story, Nick gets to come out as he wants to while being worried as shit about Charlie the entire time. Meanwhile, my fucking brother, who is a cishet man in his late 30s, says he has no qualms with gay people, fucking purposefully outs his trans nonbinary bisexual sibling to our fucking backward parents and bars me from ever seeing my nibling who is due in December in one phone call. Someone tell my kidneys that I can handle one shot of alcohol for this shit or make my body metabolize THC for once in my life. I'm dying here.

[bet-on-me-13]

Dan is Trigon

So! The Teen Titans had been chasing down a Cult lately, and they had finally managed to track down their main bases location.

Unfortunately, they got there just a bit too late and the Summoning Ritual they had been preforming was finished. The Being they had been calling crawled up and out of the Circle drawn in Blood on the floor.

And Raven felt her heart Stop. Because that Being crawling it's way out of the Summoning Circle looked almost exactly like her Father's True Form. But also different.

Where her Father's hair was a White Flame, this one's hair looked like Freshly Fallen Snow. Instead of her Father's Blood Red Skin, this being had Icy Blue Skin. And most strikingly, In place of her Father's Piercing Red Eyes, this being had Lazarus Green Eyes.

But even with all those changes, she could still the similarities in the Bone Structure, the shape of the Jaw, and most importantly the Untold Power radiating off of them.

Before they could react, the Being turned its attention to the Cultists.

"Who Dares Summon, the Ghost King?"

"We do, Out Lord Pariah Dark! We Beseech Thee, take this unclean world and tear it down! Cleanse the World of its Filth!"

"Oh Goddammit, not again." Said the Being, "Look, Pariah hasn't been in Power for Centuries. I, am Phantom. And I don't do the whole 'Destroy all Worlds' thing, you want your own constellation? I'm your guy. Otherwise? Bite it."

"Bu-But my Lord! We summoned you to-"

"Yeah how about no." Said the unimpressed God, "Here, let me send you guys Home. I'll give you guys some riches or something as compensation, but that's it."

And with that, the God snapped its fingers and the cultists disappeared.

"Now, who are you kids?" He turned to them.

Robin stepped forward, "We are the Teen Titans, and originally we came to stop them from Summoning you. Now, I honestly don't know what to do..."

"Oh, you guys are Heroes! That's interesting, I don't come across worlds with Heroes very often." Said the Ghost King, "The last one was the one with those Revengers or whatever they called themselves. The Spider Totem was fun to talk to, and Thor is always..."

As Phantom mumbled to himself, Raven stepped up. "King Phantom, I have a Question. Why do you resemble the true form or Trigon so closely? As his Daughter, I can recognize your similarities easily, and I was curious."

The King stopped dead.

"...daughter?"

"Oh, yes. Trigon is my father, though obviously I haven't talked to him recently." She explained.

"...that asshole." He said, "How could he not tell me I had a NIECE!?"

Wait what?

[aithusarosekiller]

Reg: holding his kid

Starchaser baby: mmmm

Pete: guys, I think she's gonna say something!

Baby: mmmmm

Sirius, shoving past: MOVE, MY NIECE IS ABOUT TO TALK

Baby: mmmmama!

Reg and Pete: awhhh

Sirius: ...Reg, your kid's a transphobe

Reg: no she's not, leave her alone, she's saying what's easiest to say

Sirius: she just called you mama, I'm telling James he's created a monster

Pete to Reg: just let him, it's not worth it

*over the phone, 5 seconds later*

James: WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY DAUGHTER IS DEMONIC?!