#(who my mom said was cute with green hair and piercings) and my childhood best friend

[fantasticgothicpeachsludge]

*Vent post* you can read the tags if you want

[pikaflute]

hi, sudafed cleared my sinuses long enough to think so here’s a giant post about most of my charles headcanons

Playlist

OH btw here’s my 4 hour and 23 minute playlist for Charles. Enjoy. Yes I know I’m insane: https://open.spotify.com/user/pikaflute24/playlist/4DBxaaxbqsmJt9Fvl8AgwZ?si=OcXlYCdFRzOhuKa4p_HdUQ

General Headcanons

He was born November 24 1965. He’s currently 56, but I usually write him in his late 40s in most fanfic and content I make. So there’s this middle aged man....

He has hazel eyes. Sometimes they look green, sometimes brown. Sometimes they’ll be white but that’s when he’s using his magic so mind your business

Gear brand over his heart >:)c

:) i think he has piercings and tattoos, a skull (dead man teehee) on his upper arm, a tattoo of a date (the date pickles and him first met TEEHEE) on his left arm also has a tattoo on his arm of the day he “died” on his right. had his ears pierced when he was a teen.

Has a sweet tooth so hard. Smuggles in treats into the drawers of his desk just to snack on during the day and has a mini fridge just filled with ice cream and also sorts of other goodies. He loves brownies and cookies the most

Likes to work out and keep himself in shape. it takes his mind off of stressful things like work and the boys, and just take his morning practice sparring and doing various exercises in the mordhaus gym. 

he’s uh also very flexible so he does yoga a lot when he exercises. don’t. look too deep into that

cannot cook to save his life. he almost burned mordhaus down trying to make himself a sandwich

he can play guitar! he used to play it more often when he was younger but he rarely has the time to play it nowadays. when he does get to play it, it’s usually in private (and mainly songs by dethklok), or it’s to show off to a certain lead guitarist that yes he is playing that solo wrong

he’s ambidextrous but prefers using his right hand. he’ll use his left hand to spar in order to go easy on his opponents because hes a smug cunt

he’s 5′7 but intimidation factor adds a couple inches doesn’t it

has a scorpion named princess as a pet. he lets her sit on his desk sometimes and it scares the shit out of dethklok which makes charles laugh on the inside

hes also a cat person. one time toki brought a cat home and it settled on charles’ lap and he almost cried

loves to be a smug asshole and relishes in it. will not take shit from anyone, especially from some asshole who is trying to pull one over on him

he has no idea how social media works at all. will print memes out to show to dethklok, he’s very fond of cat memes specifically (i can has cheeseburger type beat)

he has no idea what any internet memes means he isn’t going to start learning. he is going to misuse internet phrases. are you boys, ah, finding the imposter? [cue five groans from dethklok]

knows a lot of languages. not a comprehensive list but: french, swedish, norwegian, spanish, italian, japanese, chinese, german, russian and korean

is very competitive. scarily competitive. once he starts losing in smash or mario kart all hell will break lose

very bad at showing emotions or affection, when he gets compliments he gets all red and quiet and mumbles a thank you. 

weird about being touched as well and will usually avoid it unless it’s with someone he trusts

speaking of, his love language is acts of service :)c

hates being called charlie or chuck, unless the right person calls him it ;)

he’s autistic. was nonverbal for most of his life and only talked to certain people, or anyone at all. he stims with his hands and uses his pens to fidget.

has a collection of novelty socks. he likes the ones that have polka dots or stripes

sleeps with a garfield plushie he had since he was younger. it helps him with the nightmares

when any of the boys need help sleeping (usually toki or pickles), he’ll sleep with them in his bed. after dying he had trouble sleeping some nights, so dethklok returned the favor and all piled up in his bed and helped him sleep. he didnt have nightmares after that night

hes nearsighted, and prefers to wear glasses over contacts

lactose intolerant, hes still eating mac n cheese and paying the price

metalhead but pretends to not be just to mess with his boys

crippling addiction to match 3 games. also loves to play minecraft.

overly self sacrificial. puts ones he love needs before his own, results in himself being very isolated and distant from those he cares about because he’s afraid of hurting them

his favorite colors are black and purple

coffee kinda guy. black coffee or bust

has a lot of cute novelty mugs to put his coffee in. he ones from places where dethklok tours, dethklok official ones (the only two that aren’t adorned with spikes), some cat themed ones, a couple that have ties and math references, and one from his boys that says “most brutal manager”. he drinks out of that last one the most

he has a couple of grey hairs and wrinkles, but he keeps them because they remind him that he’s human. also pickles said old men were hot but you didnt hear that from me

likes to play chess but he can never find a good opponent. all the klokateers are too scared if they win and dethklok is too distracted to ever play with him or they end up losing to quickly if charles plays against them

really wants kids. he babies his sister’s sons and daughters a TON (uncle charles always brings the best gifts :) ) and also treats toki like his own son in a way. toki doesnt mind, he really appreciates the love

speaking of, toki does call charles dad once and it makes charles cry for like. a week and a half

his favorite dethklok song is the gears :)

he likes to collect knives as a side hobby, his favorite of his collection is a sleek black one with skulls on the handle

he has a motorcycle and likes to drive it around sometimes to just be alone with himself. it’s all black with a red gear on it

lightweight but only if he drinks the amount dethklok drinks. can hold his alcohol fairly well if he drinks like a sensible human, prefers brandy and wine

he can smoke cigars to be sexy for me and me ONLY

likes to read in his spare time. he likes mystery novels and science fiction

he has soft spot for cheesy sitcoms, they’re his guilty pleasure

his favorite youtuber is lockpickinglawyer. yours should be too

usually sleeps in only his boxers but will wear a shirt if its’s cold. he tends to sleep on his side (also wants to be the little spoon when cuddled but he will never admit that)

takes vacations sometimes away from the boys despite his worry that something will go wrong (it will!). many of his vacations are usually going to visit his family and going to the shore with them, or travelling to somewhere new for a change (cue charles being a yakuza substory on his one vacation per year)

he can sew pretty well. learned from his mom and used to sew the whole his sister use to put through her soccer uniform.

can also do makeup, and usually does it for one of the boys of there’s no one else around to help

bites his lip when he’s nervous. which is a lot

likes chococat and gudetama. he’s a man of tastes

laughs really loud if you catch him off guard. he snorts sometimes too. he’s embarrassed by it, but i think its’ cute

loves law and order obviously 

he likes men

has a lot of pent up rage. very good at compressing it. sometimes

as high priest, he stays up very late trying to decipher the ancient prophecies that dethklok needed to fulfill. he doesnt sleep very much when he starts out because he misses home, so the band makes him come back (or else)

also as high priest he becomes more intune with magic granted to him after he died and he mainly uses his magic to protect his boys when they go back to being a band. also to fuck with them

the band he managed before dethklok was a band named savior who said they were a metal band with a unique sound, but that unique sound was actually just being a christian metal band that were bad at playing music. they also treated charles like shit and blamed him for them doing so poorly with sales and shows. had an unfortunate “accident” with a tour bus after charles had enough of their attitude towards him.  he denies he had anything to do with it (he did.)

Family/Childhood

He’s the baby of the family. Spoiled rotten to the max. He doesn’t admit it though but whenever he comes home you know he abuses the “:)c im the favorite” card

He has 4 older sisters: Caroline who is a high school civics teacher, Cynthia who is a librarian, Callie who is a coach for a soccer team, and Charlotte who is a lawyer/manager who manages Ladyklok, which gets awkward (and funny) when Abigail starts dating the lead singer Natalie

charles is actually one of the tallest in his family. his dad is 6’1 and his older sister Callie is 5’11. cynthia is 5’6, caroline is 5’6, and his mom and charlotte are 5’5.

his mom is a doctor and his dad is an accountant. his mom’s name is giovanna and his dad’s name is elijah

caroline is the oldest sister, followed by cynthia, callie, charlotte then charles.

Charlotte and Charles are sworn enemies since they were born on the same day a year apart and basically have the same job. They do love each other though

His father calls him Charles. Caroline and Cynthia call him Charlie. Callie calls him Chuck. Charlotte calls him Charles (derogatory). His mom calls him a whole slew of nicknames that she made up when he was young (she calls him cheese ball and he turns red)

caroline has a wife (lauren who is a chef) and two kids (evan and shelby)

cynthia is dating a coworker (viola)

callie has a husband (john who is a stay at home dad) and they have three kids (brenda, melissa, and jeff)

charlotte is dating ladyklok (and abigail). this is a weird flex on charles i think.

He had a race car bed when he was like 5

He also was also one of those kids at family game night. He almost killed Cynthia over a game of monopoly

Always got to lick the spoon first after his mom baked brownies

He grew up in North Jersey (derogatory) (also yes im projecting state shot)

He’s also Italian (derogatory)

He got bullied in middle school for a little bit but once his older sisters found out, oh boy did all hell break loose

Was in band in high school. He played flute (DONT TALK TO ME I LIKE PROJECTING), he was of course a soloist and incredibly smug about it

Took gymnastics as a kid. Can do a backflip on command. Also very flexible.

First manager gig was helping his sisters sell girl scout cookies. They raked in a lot of profits when baby bro was behind the scenes. His cut was eating thin mints for free

Loved Star Trek when he was a kid

Was incredibly gifted, and taught himself to read at a young age. didn’t talk that much though

was always sick when he was little. he would always get sinus infections and colds if someone even sneezed weird

was in mock trial in high school. one guy on his team was a jerk to him so charles made it a point to be this poor kid’s nemesis

was on the student council, treasurer of course.

was also in nhs, and he was treasurer there too

was that kid who insisted on doing the group project by himself because he didn’t want to wait on anyone to finish their part

was super rowdy as a kid, always got into trouble but his mom was a little lenient of punishment (hes a mommas boy)

when he was like super young he bit people cause he was just a little monster (charles' sisters: mom charles is biting again. charles, biting one of them: im not :/ sheesh)

wanted to be a lawyer since he was 7

put his own siblings and parents on trial and would win every trial and would always get the last cookie or a higher allowance

he shared his room with his sister Charlotte and they would set up a pillow fort on one of the beds and stay up late reading together 

loved going to the beach as a kid, his mom still has his collection of shells from the beach

on the boardwalk, he would dominate at claw machines anad carnival games. he won a bunch of plushies from himself (and his sisters obviously)

his dad and him have a super close bond. they watched star trek together and also like to watch how the stock market would do. his dad was also sometimes the judge in charles’ mock trials at home

they were very supportive when he came out as gay, he was also the first of his sibilings to come out of the closet

College

Got his masters in business management at rutgers and a JD (law degree) from seton hall law.

Started college when he was 18 (1983) and ended college when he was 26 (1991)

Wasn’t a party guy. Never got invited to many, but he never went unless a certain redhead was in town

Sustained himself off of ramen, coffee, and SSRIs to get his masters (hey man i feel ya)

Did weed like three times. Three of those times were because of, you guessed it, a certain redhead

Speaking of, his first time having sex was in his dorm with Pickles. Pickles also kicked him off of the bed (those beds are fucking tiny) while they slept, and almost burned Charles’ dorm down trying to make toast the next morning

Absolute did not do essays until the night before. Bad habit that made it’s way into Dethklok managing when he’s forced to write a legal brief before 12 am.

Loved calculus 2 for some reason. Nerd

Had a mullet. Pickles thought it was hot (still is) while Charles would rather die than remember anything about that horrid hairdo

Also went through his goth/emo phase while in Law School. He stuck out amongst the sea of sweater vests and polo shirts

Was in a band with his fellow college bandmates. The band was called Habeas Corpses and he was the lead singer who also played guitar. Their sound was kind of similar to TWRP’s first two EPs (The Device and 2nite). they had a grunge aesthetic, and yes charles dyed his mullet black (with a purple streak), for the band.

his bandmates were all fellow law students. dillan was on drums, margaret was their bass guitar, and nick was their keyboardist. all three of them also got tutored by charles while in law school. they are still best friends and write to each other sometimes

Was on the debate team, but uh kicked off due to be very competitive (he threatened to punch the opposing debater)

Was also in the chess club, also kicked off for being too competitive (lunged at a kid for cheating)

After being kicked from the two previous clubs, he joined fencing, his very competitive nature made him the best in the state

nick (the guy in charles’ band) was charles’ roommate the whole time they were in college. they may or may not have had a brief relationship before they realized they would be better as friends

nick also has a nes and charles loved to played zelda and wrote an entire guide for himself because he’s was that into the game (nerd)

occasionally would be found sleeping in the library on campus

wanted to be an RA but the resident association at his schools thought he was a little much. charles took this as a compliment

worked out a lot between studying and classes. a lot of jocks underestimated him because of his size but charles was just :) [casually lifts something heavy]

a lot of fellow classmates thought he was super cool cause of the leather he wore, and how cool and quiet he was, too bad they didnt know he was a huge nerd

tried skateboarding. once.

had a cadillac that barely started and drove like a piece of shit but that was charles’ baby

pickles tried to have sex with charles in said car btw, charles almost killed him for even daring to suggest to tarnish his beautiful baby

has damaged his back permanently because of all the books he used to carry around in his crappy back pack

did some modelling for one of his friends in college. he was very attractive and got some other modelling job through it. he tries to hide that from the boys in the future because he thinks it’s embarrassing

Relationship with Dethklok

Pickles - he’s known the drummer the longest out of any other member, and if you couldn’t tell by now, he had a brief relationship with the drummer back in the 80s (and maybe also still has a crush on him :)). charles respects and admires pickles’ talent as a musician and sometimes they play together when they have time alone. he tries to be there when pickles has a relapse in either emotions with his family or something else, but still tries to maintain a distance because he thinks that pickles doesn’t feel the same as he did in the 80s. (he does btw). nothing could break the bond these two share. not even death

Nathan - understands nathan’s quiet nature (nonverbal kings!) and strive for perfection in everything dethklok creates because he is the same way. their similarities allow them to connect on a level that allows nathan to open up about his feelings that he likes to lock away. nathan also gets charles to open his feelings up and actually care for himself for once in his damn life. charles also helps nathan with the depression he develops after charles dies and how to deal with it despite it being not brutal. nathan wants to give back and he does by becoming one of charles’ closest friends (and maybe even lovers hehehe)

Toki - charles has taken it upon himself to be toki’s father figure after seeing the way toki’s family has left him for essentially dead. ever since toki joined the band, charles has made it a point to be there for him whenever he needed it. even if it meant spending late nights reading to toki or sleeping over in toki’s room to help him sleep, he’ll do it. he blames himself for toki’s disappearance but toki assures him that he did the best he could. toki calls him dad a lot after doomstar. it makes charles cry.

Skwisgaar - unstoppable asshole meets immovable object. skwisgaar sees himself above everyone else like he does with the other dethklok members but with charles, skwisgaar knows that charles isn’t intimidated by him nor will he bow to the guitar god in anyway. this develops a game of cat and mouse between the two, with skwisgaar trying to no subtly push charles’ buttons and to see what makes him ticks, while charles resist him at every turn with a smug ‘:) is that all you got’ and it delights him to finally see the guitarist squirm under pressure.

Murderface - at first the two are very. distant to say the least. murderface used to see charles as unemotional robot and charles was fine with that and accepted the distance. overtime however, and especially after charles died, murderface warmed up to charles confiding in him things he hasn’t told the band, mainly things about his insecurities because charles is ‘fucking smart with crap like this’. and charles helps him and is happy to see him work out his problems and not bottle them anymore like the rest of his bandmates. charles also enjoys murderface’s company as a friend as well. and….he’s gonna help murderface the most with the whole traitor stuff too.

Abigail - mlm and wlw hostility. but seriously they’re good buds. he sympathizes with having to deal the moronic actions of dethklok on a daily basis and also thinks she’s really intelligent and overall fun to hang out with. they take lunch breaks frequently together and like to make fun of people at dethklok dinners together as a fun activity together. abigail will bully his ass once she finds out she’s dating charles’ sister and WILL bring up those baby pictures to get a higher raise thank you very much

Knubbler - can you say coworker besties! like abigail, he gets along because they both have to deal with dethklok being, well dethklok, but with knubbler, charles can relax a little more. the two cause problems on purpose just because they can. the two are also close friends and knubbler tries to get charles to relax for once in his life, and despite charles protests and objections, he sometimes caves and hands out with his friend (maybe boyfriend OOOOO who knows)

Sex Headcanons (IM SORRY)

um maybe he can have a giant dick (10 inches for me), it do be swinging though

daddy kink (everyone stay on this side, ill take care of him….come to daddy ;)c)

likes to do roleplay. he has a lot of costumes prepared for when his partner wants to do a scene with him

likes to bite and be bitten during sex. after a very long night, he’ll be covered in bite marks, it’s kinda hot

no gag reflex ;) he likes to deepthroat but good luck trying to get him to go down on you without him teasing

remember how i said he was flexible like eight times? yeah he uh, uses that a lot to his advantage. likes being fucked in weird positions because of it

the suit stays on during sex

he likes topping because he likes to be in control of everything he does all the time, but really wants to be told what to do sometimes and will let those he trusts do that for him

he has a dick piercing i know it

he's a very busy man, so he relies on his huge collection of toys he keeps in his bedroom and office

really good with his hands. as soon as those hands are on you, its game over

he loves to do it on his desk, makes him feel powerful. when he gets blown under his desk, it really takes all of his willpower to not cum immediately

really sensitive in weird places, specifically his ears

he likes to cuddle after sex, hes the little spoon :)

likes to be tied up, sometimes he’ll get tied up under his suit

mating press and riding are his favorite positions, giving and receiving

size queen, likes large toys and well ;)

has a private room that he sometimes goes to relieve stress, it has a fucking machine that he likes to use often when his job gets too stressful

he’s sucking people off at the klokateer glory hole, he’s uh, very good at what he does

likes to be spanked and like to spank

uses collars and leashes

maybe the klokateers can fuck him, if they’re good ;)

freeballing

likes cum on his face but doesn't seem to realize that means he’ll get cum on his glasses and will need to clean them

he can wear a chastity belt :) for me

likes being came in but will still complain about being gross after

pretty much up for anything, he’s not picky, he just wants to be in control and get off

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #329

“i keep it all inside because i know that man is everything but kind”

What is the best thing about your life right now? Uhhhhh... I guess from a realistic standpoint, my partial hospitalization program. I'm learning very important coping skills and have some social interaction almost every day. How was your second serious relationship different from your first? Did you approach relationships differently with some experience under your belt? My first serious relationship was made deeper than what was safe because I was 100% obsessed with him; meanwhile, with Sara, I feel I loved her in a wiser way and with a sense of self still present. I was definitely more hesitant to "let" myself fall in love again, though, and was very insecure at the start. Whose death affected you the most? My dog's, Teddy. What was the best time you’ve had with a complete stranger? I don't exactly make a habit of hanging out with complete strangers... Who has seen you at your absolute worst? How did your relationship change afterwards? Mom, Jason, Girt, and Colleen, probably. Girt showed up at the ER after my overdose (I was a dramatic fuck and wrote a suicide note on Facebook so I didn't just... go without telling some people things I definitely wanted to), and that's when my crush on him really kicked into gear again. He was and is just always there for me through everything. For Jason, I am quiiiiiiiite sure seeing me have an absolute catatonic breakdown the night of the breakup just pushed him away more. I probably looked crazy. Colleen also showed up at the ER after my suicide attempt, and it brought us closer. Then there's Mom, who's, you know, my mom, and my darkest times have always grown our incredible bond, too, because she would never fail to be there for me. What’s your favorite planet? Saturn is dope. What’s your favorite pasta dish? Just spaghetti with tomato sauce and meatballs. What color do you really want to dye your hair? My top three are pastel pink, light/creamsicle orange, and silver, but there are more. What’s your favorite eye color? Sapphire blue or emerald green. What’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? Um, I don't break into places. What’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? Sara gets super squeaky, bouncy, and just in general wordlessly excited at reptile shows. Going with her to one is one of my favorite memories, mostly just by watching her. Tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. Have I ever been (awake) with friends past 3AM...? Idk. Do you have a favorite coffee shop? Describe it! Not a coffee gal. Who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? Sara. (: When was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? Now THERE'S a fuckin question. I don't have the slightest idea. What was your biggest fear as a kid? Is it the same today? Thunderstorms; definitely not. Have you ever been to a Pride festival? No, but I'd love to. How open are you with your parents? I don't tell everything to my dad (though I know I could), but I'm an open book with Mom. Is there anything you’re more open about on the internet (such as on LiveJournal) than you would be in “real life”? I guess my sexual history. I'm just in general pretty open online. What is the most petty thing you’ve ever done? Oh, I'm CERTAIN it involves Jason after the breakup, but I don't know the "most"... What is the longest you’d be willing to wait to have sex in a new relationship? I myself don't want to until we're clearly serious and long-term by that point, and I know for a fact they're in love with me like I am them. I don't care how long they want to wait, though. I said in a previous survey that sex just... isn't that important to me. It's not my most cherished form of intimacy. Who has had the most positive effect on your life? My mama. Are there any relatives that you are not on speaking terms with? What happened? Most of the family doesn't talk to my aunt's literally psychotic, manipulative fuck of an ex-husband. I don't feel like it's my business to share exactly what happened, but yeah, fuck him with a chainsaw. :^) Who was the last person to ask you to hang out? Did you agree to hang out with them? It was more like an open invitation to all of her friends, but I guess you could say Summer. I did. I honestly wanna hang out again. Have you ever had to take a stool or urine test? Why did you have to do this? Urine ones, yes: to 1.) test for UTIs and 2.) ensure I wasn't pregnant before surgery. Is there a food that you eat basically every day? What food is that? Not every day, no. Can you remember the first video game you ever played? What about your first video gaming system? I don't. It was probably something with few controls, like this Barbie horse riding game my sisters and I loved, or an Elmo game that we had on a demo disc. I think you had to follow a path on a pogo stick picking up letters? We had a PS1 when I was born, so that was my first. The last video game you played - did you play alone or with someone else? By "video," I'm going to assume you're not including the computer, in which case I think it was The Legend of Spyro: Dawn of the Dragon, which I was playing alone. It does have a two-player option though that I wanna do one day. The controls are definitely meant for two people. If there is a disc in your computer, what disc is it? There is no disc. Do you shut down your computer every time after you use it, or do you leave it on? I always leave it on... Do you know anyone who has ever been in a movie? Who and what movie were they in? What was their part? Hm, I don't believe so. Describe the last shirt you saw that you really liked. Where did you see it? It was definitely some sort of graphic tee on Facebook, I'm sure. It was something with an opossum design and a short phrase. When was the last time you brought a pet to the vet? What was wrong with it? The most recent vet visit was when we got Roman neutered. Do you have any bug bites on you right now? If so, where? No. When you go fishing, do you make someone else get the fish off the hook? When I DID fish, yeah. Not because I was afraid to touch the fish, but because I was afraid of nicking myself with the inevitably dirty hook. Did you go to daycare when you were little? Only very briefly; my incredible separation anxiety from my mom made it extremely difficult. She very quickly chose our neighbors as my and my sisters' babysitters. I could handle that because I loved "Uncle Donny," the granddad of the family, and I could see my house from their front door. He was/is (idk if he's still alive) a wonderful man. Do you know what you’d have been named had you been born the opposite sex? No. Would you ever visit a nude beach? NOOOOOOOO THANK YOU. Who was the last person you dreamt about? I don't remember. Where is your favorite place to be kissed other than the usual place? Don't touch my neck if you don't have free time lmaooo. What is your favorite memory with one of your grandparents? I'm going to be completely honest: I have none that are exceptionally important to me. I only knew one grandmother most of my life, and we had a turbulent relationship. Would you date someone who has cheated in their previous relationships? Naaaaah son. What was the most drastic change you made to your appearance? Chopping 8+ inches of hair off. Is there anything you hope your significant other/future significant other never finds out about you? No. I don't want to keep secrets from them above all others. What are most of your Facebook posts about? If you're talking things I actually compose myself and not share, probably pictures of my pets, haha. Or small statements regarding political issues or mental health. What’s your favorite part of the song that you’re listening to? The beat. Who was the last person you got into a small argument with? Probably my mom, idk. How warm do you like your showers/baths to be? Pretty hot. In the past year, have you lost weight or gained weight? How much? Gained... and I'd rather not share. What year was the last car you rode in/drove? I have zero clue, but it's old. What’s your worst/funniest experience with one of your neighbors? The neighbors at my childhood home had two wonderful rottweilers, but one day they got loose and killed at least one of our kittens. It died in my hands. Mom was fucking livid and sobbing. Besides this occasion though, we got along with them. How much alone time is too much for you before you start going crazy and want to be around people? It depends on the day, really, and how entertained I am in my alone time. Generally, one day of total isolation (from people, anyway) is enough for me to want my mom's company at least or to be texting Sara. The last time you burned your tongue or mouth, what were you eating? A pizza roll burned my tongue just a tad. Honestly, are you shallow? Not at all. Besides clothes, shoes, and accessories, what’s your favorite thing to shop for? S N A K E S ! ! ! I could LIVE on the Morph Market website and "window shop." I love planning out the next morph I'm most interested in adopting. If you have/had any facial piercings, what side are they on? Any reason you chose that side? If you don’t have any, if you had to get a facial piercing what would it be and what side would it be on? I have a vertical labret on my lower lip that goes directly down the center of my face. I chose it because I love the symmetry. I've had my right nostril pierced twice, just because I preferred that side for whatever reason. What, would you say, is your sexiest/most provocative article of clothing? I don't own anything like that. I have zero interest in showing off my body. Do/did you have attendance problems in school? I was notoriously tardy for the first class of the day a lot because I was an absolute beast to drag out of bed all the way up to college. Does/did your parents ever go through your computer or cell phone? Mom did. What song reminds you the most of a particular day in your life? Why is that? "Where the Wild Wolves Have Gone" by Powerwolf is a strong one. I played it again and again the day Teddy was put down, even before we went to go euthanize him. It was my inspiration to one day spread his ashes at Yellowstone in wolf territory. As much as I'd love to keep his ashes forever, like, what happens after I die? And my sisters? Eventually, that container will lose meaning and probably be discarded, so I want to return him to nature. Do you have any close friends that were adopted? No close ones. Who, in your opinion, is the best thriller writer? Idk. Does your Mom eat meat? Yeah. Do you prefer thick or thin crusted pizza? THICK. Thin crust is an utter disappointment. Do you have any friends with the same name as you? No. Who has the prettiest middle name you know? Ha, I mention Alon a lot when it comes to beauty... I can't remember what it is, but I do know hers wins. Do you prefer it when it gets darker earlier? No. It makes me go to bed earlier. Can you touch​ your nose with your tongue?​​ No. Is there a particular sport you follow on a regular basis? No. Are there any shows that your friends seem to be obsessed with, but that you just don’t get? Oh, loads. How old was the last child that you spoke to? She's six. What’s a song that makes you feel happy? "Pretty Woman" by Van Halen, for one. How far in advance do you prefer to plan? It depends, but generally kinda far. Do you always smile for pictures? With other people, yes. Some selfies, no, but usually. What are you most excited about right now? my MOTHERFUCKIN tattoo appointment in MAY!!!!!!!!!!! Do you prefer the aisle, middle, or window seat on a plane? Window seat, zero doubts. Where would you like to volunteer? I wanna help at an animal rehab. What was the last thing you ate? A strawberry and grain granola bar thing. How do you find new music? Usually YouTube recommendations. What’s your favorite city? I don't have one. What makes your bedroom special to you and what is your favorite part about it? It's a total nests of my various interests. My favorite part is my meerkat collection. Have you ever had a crush on someone “too young” for you? No. Do you shave your legs more than once a week? God no. I haven't shaved my legs since October lmao. Would you get married if you could right now? Definitely not right now. I don't have a job or my own place. What is your favorite type of jewelry (i.e. bracelets, necklaces, etc.)? Chokers. Do you regret losing your virginity to who you lost it to? No. I was wholeheartedly in love with him. What was the shittiest hotel you’ve ever stayed at and why? I've never stayed in a bad one, to my recollection. Have you ever gone on a boat and been sick the whole time? No. Have you ever kept something from the wild as a pet? A turtle for a little while, yes. Don't do that. Ever win first place for something? Yeah, a few things. What was the last thing you fell off of? Idk. Do you have a favorite local band? Who are they? No. What’s the most confusing book you ever read? The style in which Johnny Got His Gun is written is very confusing, but you adapt to understand it. Jumping back and forth from the past to the present can give ya some metaphorical whiplash. Do you have a funny last name? Does anyone make fun of it? No. Has anyone ever called your personality dull? Do you agree with them? No. Have you ever personally witnessed a drug deal before? Possibly. Ever have an ultrasound performed on you? What was it for? Yes, for my liver. I can't remember what they were checking for, but I was fine. Have you ever been kicked out of somewhere? Colleen's house, yes. Have you seen all the Lord of the Rings movies? Nope; got no interest. Would you ever consider getting a piercing in your septum? Nah, not for me. Do you enjoy being outdoors? Only if it's cool out, in which case yeah. Do you enjoy watching fireworks on the 4th of July? Not anymore. I just think about the terrified animals (wild and pets alike) and traumatized veterans. Do you enjoy tanning? Not at all. Which of the seven deadly sins do you commit the most? Sloth. Did you have a Furby when you were younger? Yeah. Creepy fuckers. How long was your first relationship? I actually don't remember how long Aaron and I were together... other than it was just a few months. Who was the first person to break your heart? My dad, generally speaking. Romantically, Jason. What’s the biggest lie you’ve told someone? I don’t know. Has anyone ever drawn a picture of you? Yeah. What did the last key you used go to? The car's trunk. Is there anything, any event, you wish you could remember more clearly? I honestly do wish I remembered my "first time" because that's a pretty big deal to me. What’s your biggest priority right now? My mental health. If you’ve stayed overnight in a hospital, how did you entertain yourself? I've done that numerous times, and given there was nothing good on the TV ever, I just slept time away or read. Since every time I was suicidal, there were very, very few things you were allowed to have. Have you ever rubbed anyone’s feet? EW no. Are your hands unsteady? Yes; I have what's called an essential tremor in both. Are your legs long or short? They're proportional to my body. Is there a bookshelf in your room? No. Do you own a robe? What color is it? No. Who’s the last person you smoked weed with? I've never done it. Ever had a person who was obsessed with you so much that it scared you? No. Has anyone ever mistaken you for someone else? Yeah, my sisters in the past. Is there anything you need to talk about with someone? No. Who was the last person who cried around you? My mom. Who’s the last guy to give you roses? Tyler. What band was on the last band t-shirt you wore? Korn. What piercing do you like most on the opposite sex? Maybe snakebites. Do you stick your tongue out often in pictures? Nah. I only ever really did once or twice when I had snake eyes. Honestly, have you ever purchased something, worn it, and then returned it? Possibly? If you could have your own house anywhere in the world, where would it be? In the mountains in a nicely wooded area with a waterfall close by. It'd be nice to have a small stream or pond too to sit or swim in. If you could create a holiday - what would it be? I wish the legalization of gay marriage in America was a legitimate holiday. Are you shy about singing in front of people? OHHHHH YES. Do you own a robe? Do you sleep with a sleep mask? No.

[spiltscribbles]

Stay For A While

Notes: I had a really really awful day and this was in my drafts, so here we go.

.-

Ronan’s never really noticed how pungent the scent  of hospitals are, the eerily clean surfaces that are masked with the smell of the  residue of the alcohol remover Blue uses to clean off her nails once she inevitably gets bored of which ever eccentric color she’d chosen for that week. (Ronan remembers a particularly amusing night at Monmouth when Henry had dared Ronan to drink the bottle whole, to which Blue— pixie sized and never putting up with any amount of shit— cuffed them both on the back of the heads scoldingly,  “You can’t drink it asshole, it’s like poisonous.”) 

Idly, Ronan thinks that he’d rather chug down ten complete bottles of that shit instead of sitting here in this utter hell hole of a waiting room, the smell of antiseptics clogging his nostrils and  glaringly florescent lights pounding down on him and a swarm of strangers trying to catch his eye for polite, if not a bit flirtatious, small talk. All just to wait for some fucking quack to tell him what half a dozen others said before. That Opal’s condition is to severe, to intensive, too unstructured. For this prick to tell Ronan that the technology just isn’t here yet and that they should just give it a rest already. 

God fucking damn it, Ronan hates this place, hates all the memories it evokes and the literal hopelessness that’s woven into it. He hates it even more that he fucking let Gansey talk him into meeting with this fucking prick of a doctor, getting his hopes up and making Ronan actually believe this Parrish douche is worth meeting with. 

“He’s a class act Ronan, truly,” Gansey had crowed in that uniquely Gansey way of his— all American charm and boyishly enthused smile. “Carruthers had sung his praises to us for so long that I simply insisted he came to Lucy’s christening a bit ago.”

That’s when Ronan had cocked a brow at his oldest friend, unconvinced that Helen of all people would allow any riffraff to puncture her picture perfect soiree for her picture perfect daughter to show off her picture perfect life.

“I bet princess wasn’t to happy with that impromptu invitation?”

“That was until she met the boy,” Gansey had corrected a bit too cheekily for Ronan’s liking, finger waggling in the space between them and it took all Ronan had not to bite it right off. “Carruthers was right on! Parrish is a magnificent specimen, and smart as a whip too!”

“What a dreamboat,” said Ronan, deadpanned and wondering if he’ll ever be over Gansey’s theatrics. (Most likely not on account of his loving the dip-shit like a fourth brother.) 

“You know he got his medical degree from Harvard? And his undergraduate at Princeton?”

“Gee Gansey, I’m swooning.”

“Well don’t fall in love with him quite yet,” Gansey had chuckled good naturedly with a patting to Ronan’s shoulder. “I reckon you’ll need him for another, much more important reason.” Ronan just furrowed his brows, not bothering to show any actual interest, and Gansey just flashed him a row of pearly whites in turn. “You’ll never believe his senior year thesis was about? Fibula Hemimelia.”

Ronan’s heart had lodged in his throat and he suddenly, foolishly, felt a surge of pure hope. So Gansey had set up everything. He had scheduled  the meeting for a day he knew Opal didn’t have school and Ronan didn’t have work,  he had called to send over Opal’s medical history, and on top of it all Gansey had convinced Ronan that continuing to try was better than to give up, and Ronan had agreed. That’s why he’s sitting in this hell hole now, glower securely set on his face and simultaneously watching Opal as she built and destroyed her lego towers, while staving off any too curious onlookers. 

Finally— mercifully— A kind faced nurse had called out, “Opal L,” and they were being dashed off behind the doors to get all the preliminary numbers before being lead into the quacks office. 

“Don’t break any of his shit,” Ronan tells  Opal as she made her way to the corner where some blocks and puzzles were set out, crushes and all. 

It’s another ten minutes of waiting until the door swings open and a low, molasses smooth voice greets them good morning while taking a seat in his desk. And well…. He’s all cutting cheekbones and piercing eyes and his hair’s the same color as the caramel cubes that Arora use to set out for guests back in the barns when Ronan was a kid. Ronan feels a instant pulsing of white hot hatred towards Gansey at this exact moment for not giving him the heads up that this Parrish fuck is only moonlighting as a doctor while actually having a career in modeling or some shit. 

“G’morning,” he holds out his all too attractive hand, and Ronan pretends his insides aren’t imploding while he gives it one quick, savage shake. “I’m Dr Parrish, and you must be Ronan Lynch?”

“Yes.”

“Wonderful,” if Parrish was put off by Ronan’s standoffish demeanor, he doesn’t show it, just continues on speaking in that crisp cadence that Ronan thinks all doctors have mastered in one way or the other, and goes back to flipping through the blindingly yellow binder in his grasp. He doesn’t bother with pleasantries, or puts on a facade with some overly cheerful smile and Ronan appreciates him for it, he’s gone through too many stilted conversations of a blank eyed doctor telling him that there’s no hope with an uncomfortably large smile threatening to split their faces in half. 

Ronan much prefers the touch of realism that Parrish is offering up.

“So is it just you for today or are we waiting for Mom?”

“Mom doesn’t exist,” Ronan says, words clipped— He reckons he’ll never not be irritated by that automatic assumption, even when it’s ridiculously pretty doctors making them. 

Parrish quirks a brow at him and Ronan relents, just slightly. 

“She was an orphan till I adopted her a few years ago, so it’s just me.”

“Oh, I see,” Ronan pretends his chest doesn’t totally contract at the sight of the other man’s small, thin lipped smile that makes his eyes shimmer a thousand splendid shades of blue and green and violet. “My apologies.”

“Whatever.”

“I’m turning seven in three weeks.” Opal, excited for a new audience, announces with a manic grin, her ash blonde hair tugged out it’s ponytail and her big brown eyes gazing at the doctor like he’s one of her dolls. 

“No way, really?” Parrish says, and if Ronan thought his small, privately impressed smile was charming, it’s nothing on the one he’s beaming at Opal with right now. It’s beautiful in its unadulterated sincerity, in the way it crinkles the corners of his wide eyes and brightens his countenance ten fold. Ronan inwardly thinks that the grin is one he doesn’t dole out that often, which is a real shame because Dr Parrish’s dimples should probably be declared an eighth wonder of the world by who ever the fuck decides on that sort of shit. 

“You must be Opal.”

“Are you my new doctor?” She asks, abrasive if it weren’t coupled with her toothy smile.

“Yes, I think I am, if you’ll have me?”

“Cool,” Opal marvels. “Will you actually help me?”

There’s an instant tautness to the air that Opal, in all her childhood obliviousness, doesn’t notice, but Parrish doesn’t let it linger. 

“I certainly hope so.”

Adequately convinced, Opal pivots around and returns to her puzzle. 

The next hour is composed of Ronan answering questions he’s been asked a million other times, (“Yes, it’s the left leg. Yes, the bone is completely missing and her foot’s heel is ruptured as well. Yes I know that some doctors have suggested removing the leg completely and replacing it with a  prosthetic, but i already told you that they’re all fucking stupid and lazy, and I already said I want to exhaust all options until I consider it.”)

“I hope we don’t have to get to that point,” Parrish says like an oath and Ronan knows it in his bones that Parrish— Adam according to the admittedly impressive array of degrees adorned on his wall, can’t promise anything to him or Opal in so many words, but it doesn’t stop him from believing that Adam could actually do what the others couldn’t. 

For the  next quarter of an hour Adam examines Opal’s leg and takes notes in a scrawl Ronan doubts anyone could ever actually transcribe, until he’s seemingly satisfied.

They make an appointment for next Tuesday, giving Parrish enough time to examine all the information he’s gathered, and can talk to Ronan about the options on the table for Opal. 

“Alright, see you then doc.”

“Adam. You can just call me Adam.”

Ronan just snorts, derisive, before carting Opal out of the room. 

“You think he’s cute,” she preens.

“Shut your trap,” Ronan hisses. THat doesn’t stop Opal singing some ridiculous nursery rhymes about trees and kissing and babies all the way home.

.

-

Next time they meet is right after Ronan drops Opal off to school, and Adam looks just as competent and put together as the last time. He explains each possibility with no inflection, just straight facts for Ronan to take in and comprehend however he’d like.

“So either way it’s surgery,” Ronan bristles. 

“If you want to avoid the prosthetic, yes. You can either continue with the latter which would slow down the growth of her right leg so that the left could catch up, or we can conduct several procedures in the next few years adding to the length of the left to match that of the right.”

“That sounds like mumbo jumbo shit to me,” Ronan bites out, trying his best not to sound as frustrated and frightened as he feels. Though the way Adam’s ordinarily stoic looking expression softens ever so slightly, tells Ronan that he’s doing a pretty shit job at it.

“I know it’s a difficult decision, especially when it’s for your kid,” Adam’s voice ripples right then but it immediately goes back to it’s typical, low timbre. Ronan doesn’t probe. “But I assure you that which ever decision you make it’ll be the right one.”

“How? How do you know that?” Ronan asks, challenging.

“Opal’s young, and healthy. She’s still growing, both procedures are optimal when that’s still a major factor. And besides, it’s clear that you love her. You know what’s best for her because you’ll do your research.”

There’s a different stillness to the air than there was last week, but Ronan doesn’t think it’s any less charged. 

“When do you need an answer?”

“As soon as possible. We want to make sure we can get the best feasible results.”

“Fine.” Ronan gets up to leave but is stopped by Adam calling after him.

“I’m always a resource if you need it.”

Ronan doesn’t reply, just purses his lips before snatching the card Adam holds out for him and swaggers out with a thousand different thoughts swarming in his head, ones about Opal. About her leg. About the healing process, the tole  it’d have on her. How she’s so small and delicate already, About Dr Adam Parrish and his pretty eyes.

Ronan realizes about half way to work that Adam had written his personal cell number on the back, and pretends that his cheeks aren’t blazing red, chides at himself that he’s only Opal’s doctor. That’s all.

It’s for Opal, that’s it.

.- 

“I like Dr Parrish.”

Ronan starts at the non sequitur, eyeing Opal like she’s grown a second head right here in the middle of Nino’s while they wait for their pizzas to take to Gansey’s place. After weeks of paper work and consultations and check ups, Opal’s first official surgery would be taking place tomorrow afternoon and they all agreed it calls for celebration. 

“Okay… That was random.” 

“Nah-uh,” she peevishly sniffs, lips twisted in irritation— Ronan doesn’t give a fuck about DNA because that’s straight out of his playbook. “Look!” 

He follows her insistent finger pointing onto the distance through the window, just making out the sight of none other than Adam fucking Parrish strolling down the street, dying afternoon light dancing golden in his hair and touching the tops of his cheekbones… It’s all very cinematic if Ronan’s being at all honest.

“Imma say hi,” Opal announces, and before Ronan can tell her to sit her ass down she’s dashing off through the doors and stopping him in his tracks. 

“Damn it,” Ronan curses under his breath before saddling up behind her. 

“Dr Parrish!”

Jolting back, Adam scans his surroundings before finally casting his gaze down to find pipe sized Opal smiling up at him, and by rote, he returns the expression.

“Opal!”

“Daddy didn’t believe me but I saw you all the way from inside,” she tells him pridefully,  and Ronan only roles his eyes heavenwards. 

“Good eye,” Adam says, crouching down so that they’re level. 

“What are you doing at Nino’s?” 

“I reckon I’m doing the same thing as you and your pops here.”

“Getting dinner and teasing Aunty Blue for working here when she was little?”

Adam cuts a glance at Ronan, silent question of “What the fuck,” painted all over his features. 

“It’s done lovingly.” He says in a monotone and no. Ronan absolutely does not feel the flutterings of butterflies swarming down deep at Adam’s bemused laughter.

“You should come to Uncle Gansey’s house!” Opal crows. “He’s throwing a party for me cuz of my op-op-peratoin tomorrow!”

“Operation,” Ronan softly corrects.

“Oh yeah that!” Opal squawks.

“That’s really cool Opal, I’m glad that they’re doing that for ya.” Adam says, utterly sincere.

“So you’ll come!”

“Yeah doc, come and get boozed up before the surgery,” Ronan says, only partially teasing. 

“Sorry Opal darling,” Adam says, lips pouting. “I promised an old friend that I’d actually eat out with them, and I seriously doubt that your Dad or Uncle or whom ever would appreciate me crashing in on your family time.”

Opal looks grief-stricken and Ronan privately thinks he feels the same.

“My birthday then!” Opal proclaims.

“It’s after the surgery and it’s not until next week and could you come please!”

“Ah,” Adam’s eyes surreptitiously flutter over to Ronan, seeking permission.

“There could never be enough guests,” he says, totally flat.

“Alrighty then, I’d be honored to come Opal.”

“Yay!” She tackles into Adam for a quick embrace and then leaps into Ronan’s arms over the excitement.

“Oh Parrish, just heads up, the themes Disney Princesses, and the invitations explicitly dictate that everyone dresses up.”

Adam glares nastily at Ronan but then just tosses Opal a thumbs up, Ronan translates it for the bird he’d rather be tossing him.

.-

Ronan admits that he regrets everything the moment Adam fucking Parrish strolls into his house wearing a shit eating grin, and a full on Prince Philip costume— tights and all.

Everything in the procedure went as wonderfully as anyone could’ve hoped, so Opal— dawning a sparkling pink princess dress— promenaded through the party in the Barns with a huge smile on her face and a sharpie pen so that all her guests would sign her cast, a beaming Blue pushing her along in the tiny wheelchair the hospital provided. But even with how precious she looks, and the excited thrumming in the air, all Ronan could focus on is fucking god damn Adam Parrish. 

“Lynch,” he says in greeting, swinging around a large, wrapped box. Ronan jutted his chin to the table carrying the rest of the gifts and Adam dropped it off before returning to his side.

“Lovely place you got here.”

“If that was your attempt at small talk, you’re shit at it.” Is how Ronan chooses to reply. 

Something warm and splendid coils somewhere deep in  Ronan’s gut at the sound of Adam’s miraculous peals of laughter.

“You’re such a shit.”

Ronan feels charged by that one comment.

“Oh, so Doc’s got a little bite all of a sudden?”

“Always have,” Adam corrects in that detached, ever amused way of his. “Only thing was that you were my client, but everything with Opal went better than expected, so now I can call you out for being a complete prick whenever I please.”

“So you still expect to see me outside of the allotted appointments for my daughter?” Ronan snarks, snide and excited.

Adam just gives him a one armed shrug before leaning close to Ronan’s ear— hot breath skirting against his skin. “You aren’t slick, but my ass appreciates your intense focus.”

At that, Adam swivels around on his heals to grab a drink and to say hello to Opal, and Ronan knows he’s fucked.

***

Five years later, when they’ve got matching bands of gold and Adam’s slumped on the sofa with Ronan’s head propped on his lap— the pair of them  watching over Opal tending to her new baby brother— Ronan thinks to when Gansey warned that he shouldn’t fall in love with Adam.

Ronan laughs and Adam flicks him on the temple for being such a freak.

[arminkirschtien]

Good old fashioned theatre boy (chpt 4)

Deep down, Armin would be completely lying to himself if he said he wasn’t scared to meet Levi’s Mother.

Levi is Eren’s boyfriend of a year and a half, and his mother is playing Mother Gothel in the production. She called up Armin’s grandfather and to say she was having a cookout for some of the actors and stage crew, apparently it’s a tradition of hers that she does with all the productions she gets into.

She sounds sweet and lovely from what the silent teen as told Armin, but Levi has also told him not to trust her too quickly, and that she actually has a quick temper. The fact she raised Levi when she was merely 16 and her brother was only 13 on her own, means she grew a tough skin and a “my way or the highway” kind of personality. If she’s anything like her son, Armin going to be silent the entire time.

The young blonde finished his last class, having a few hours of free time before he had to go over to Levi’s place, deciding to ring up Eren and see if he’s doing anything. After a few minutes of talking, Turns out both him and Mikasa are helping Levi set up for later this afternoon, so he hung up and decided to text Bertholdt, maybe he wasn’t too busy and wanted to hang out for a bit.

Armin: “Hey Bertl, are you doing anything this afternoon? I have a few hours until I have to go over to Levi’s place, maybe we can hang out for a bit? Text me when you can.”

It took no time for Armin’s phone to buzz again, Bertholdt was always one to respond quickly to text.

Bertl: “I’m in the cheerleaders room in the dance portable, come on over! Someone here is dying to meet you!”

Bert: “OH! And if you want her to really like you, if you have any leftovers from lunch, she’ll take them.”

Of course Armin was quite happy to meet someone new, and he felt even better knowing he did in fact have some lunch left over from today. He whipped his backpack around and got out his lunch box, pulling out a leftover brownie he didn’t feel like eating. Hopefully the young girl liked sugar, he thought.

He put the brownie bag in his pocket and zipped up his bookbag, running out the door on his way to the dance building by the football field. The day was beautiful, the sky was cluttered in puffy clouds and the sun is finally out of it’s depressing low and is shining it’s bright rays all over. It’s been three days since Jean and Armin had officially ‘met’ and they’ve been texting once and a while ever since. He and Armin figured out their outlash and sudden change of emotions and actions were all because of stress, the fact Jean would be seeing his dad again and that Armin is a boy-princess and that everyone knows.

He finally made it to the dance studio and walked to the dance room where he met Bertholdt the first time. Walking in, all heads turned to look at him, and Armin saw many familiar faces. Bertholdt grinned at the young blonde while his partner Reiner followed and smiled as well. Armin noticed Jean, Connie, and a cute brunette standing by the tall floor to ceiling mirrors.

“Ah there he is! Hey Blondie!” Connie shouted, waving his hand up in a gesture of friendship. Armin of course ran over to meet the new girl, seeing her beam at the blonde.

Armin slowed in his steps as he also saw another brunette, well, more of a red-head than a brunette. The young lady was wearing a yellow shirt with blue hearts littered all over it and some green overalls. The young man was wearing an open jean jacket with the sleeves rolled up and a white capsule tee. He was also wearing medium length khaki shorts and his hair was swept to the side smoothly. Armin first stuck his hand out to the young lady, fixing his glasses as to look less messy than he already looked from running. “Hello! I’m Armin Arlert of class A-1.” He introduced, the young teen shaking his hand with enthusiasm. “Sasha Braus of class B-3! Nice to meet ya! I’m super excited I got to meet you, you’re all over the news…maybe later I can take a picture with you later to have proof I knew you when you become famous!”

Armin blushed at the compliment, chuckling and nodding his head. “O-Of course! Sorry I don’t look the best, otherwise i’d get ready for a picture with someone new…”

Sasha about choked, she couldn’t believe her ears at what the blonde just said. “E-Excuse me!?” She stammered. “For a young adult male you’re astonishing! I’ve never seen a boy with prettier skin and hair before! You have the best physique for a dancer and the prettiest blue eyes!”

At this point, Armin was a mess, he couldn’t believe his ears. Not even Eren has said some of those things about him.

Suddenly, a hand was being pushed out at him from the redhead.

“Floch Forster of class B-1, you’re Jean’s new friend right?”

Armin shook the young teens hand as well, nodding in comfirment.

“Yeah, well, I guess I wouldn’t say we were friends, more like acquaintances. We’ve talked a few time but we’re not friends yet.” Armin states pulling away from Floch. He nods and crosses his arms, standing slightly taller and more bold than Armin.

“Ah, i’m sure it won’t take you two long to get up to friends status, Jean is pretty friendly, especially to new ladies.” Floch says, looking over at Jean, who was talking football with Reiner and Bertholdt about next week’s game.

Connie starts to chuckle at the redhead, “you say he’s overly friendly to the ladies, then explain how he lost his first soccer ball game at age 6 cause he felt bad the kid on the other team was crying? Did he think you were a lady? Cause sometimes you sure as hell act like one!”

Floch laughs back, remembering his little fit on the soccer field where he met Jean for the first time. They’ve been childhood friends ever since that day and still talk and hangout ever week. Armin was a bit jealous of his lack of past with Jean and wishes he had a better first talk with the brunette instead of an awkward boner/anger management hissy fit.

“Oh I remember it like it was yesterday, he saw a kind, young, handsome young man out of the wet and soggy ground, covered in bruises and scratches!” Floch began, exaggerating this flashback with motions of his arms and a loud, booming voice that got deeper as he spoke. “In an act of true heroism, Jean stepped up and purposefully missed his teams winning shot so my pain wasn’t for nothing! He was a prince is shining armor to me that day!”

Sasha and Connie couldn’t breath anymore from how hard they were laughing, they’ve heard this story multiple times, but this was the first time Floch has gone full blown dramatic love story.

Armin was giggling as well, turning around quickly to see Jean staring at the small group with a confused, but am using glare. Jean excuses himself from the football chatter to walk over to Floch, wrapping his arm around the teen as if he were about to choke him.

“Oh c'mon Floch, Y'know I just pitied you like a sad lonely cat. No need to be all dramatic about it!” Jean laughs, quickly rubbing Floch’s hair, messing the red locks up.

“I can be dramatic about your first ever time playing a knight in shining armor, I mean, that’s your role now correct? Just remember who your original princess was.”

Jean snickered. “Yeah, Annie was a princess, wasn’t she?”

Everyone turned to hear bold laughing from the two behind us, seeing Bertholdt wipe his eyes as if he were crying from his laughter. “If you called Annie a princess now she’d slap you so hard your mother would feel it.” The dark brunette chuckled while Armin, Connie and Sasha were all confused before Reiner noticed their expressions and explained.

“Jean had a thing for Annie forever ago and it was pitiful to watch. I believe you tried the same with Jaeger’s sister Mikasa, right?”

The conversation went on with Armin only paying slight attention to what was being exchanged by the other men. Apparently Jean has had a crush on a lot of girl’s, though from what Jean’s earlier behavior and actions have taut Armin is that boys aren’t out for the count either. The conversation that now Sasha was in, asking Jean is he ever had a thing for her or Connie is when armin started to day dream and doze out. His eyes locked on Jean’s eyes, the golden embers looked sharp and cleanly cut. The small light of color in his eyes caused Armin’s heart skip a beat, they showed confidence, but also a hint of kindness and love, something of course Armin had a liking for.

The blonde started to glance over to the man’s ears, seeing the silver piercings line up and down the outside of his shell. Armin had half the heart to ask Jean to lean over real quick so Armin can nibble on one of the rings. He also had a small ball piercing on the tip of his tongue that Armin refuses to let slip out of his mind.

Though someone caught Armin staring and cleared their throat, catching the blonde off guard.

“D-Do you-” Sasha leaned in closely to Armin, whispering in his ear using her hand to keep others from hearing. “Do you want that?”

Armin looked where she shyly pointed right at her pocket, the brownie from his lunch peaking out. Armin chuckled and handed her the brownie. “All yours.” He grinned. The brunette launched at his hands and stole the treat from his hand, basically ripping the bag open. “I LOVE YOU!” Sasha splurged out while hugging Armin. Armin paniced a little, not knowing what to do with the brunette attached to him. Everyone in the room let out a roar of laughter.

****** Armin turned on his turn signals to move into the right lane, his grandfather in the pasenger seat. Armin let out a long sigh before seeing the house in the distant. “Everything is going to be alright Armin, they’re just people.” His grandfather said, patting Armin’s shoulder.

“Papap their whole family is extreamly talented and have huge jobs. I mean, Levi’s mom is the one who’s playing mother Gothel and she’s a well known actress along with her brother. She invited me, a theatre boy to her house and the others working on the set.”

Armin, she didn’t just invite you cause you’re on the set,” the older man spoke, pointing where Armin has to turn at the light. “You’re the name on everyone’s lips, believe it or not. The comitee for this musical loved you so much, they were willing to look past the fact you were a male to play a disney princess.”

Armin sighed. “It’s still hard to believe, i’ve been doing theatre all my life and here I am, an actual topic on the news…people know me now.”

Armin saw the house’s driveway and a sign showing people where to park. Armin pulled into an empty spot and turned off the car. Armin didn’t want to get out of the car, but his grandfather was already out and calling for his name.

Walking up to the front door and knocking, Armin felt his gut turn and knot, he didn’t have the courage today to talk, and oh so despretly wanted to turn into a ball and dissapear.

The door opened sofly, and Armin was expecting one of the Ackermans to show up, but instead they were greated with a smaller, platium blonde man. He wasn’t tall, infact he was shorter than Armin, wearing a very religious garmet. “Beg your pardon, but are you Armin Alert?” The young man said, opening the door a bit wider.

“Y-Yeah, I mean yes! Yes that’s me! A-Are you uh, Kenny Ackerman?” Armin asked. The man chuckled and invited the two in. “No, i’m not Kenny, nor am I an Ackerman yet. I’m Uri Riess.”

Armin and his grandfather stepped inside, wiping their feet on the doormat and looking around the room. It was a room with two staircases leading up to the second floor, and straight ahead was a room where Armin saw people talking and setting up. “Uri Riess? As in-” The elder man didn’t even get to finish before he stuck out his hand to shake.

“Yes, my brother is running for office this next election, Rod Reiss. I’m his younger brother.” Uri said shaking the mans hand with a smile. Uri looked over at Armin and smiled. “You are a very handsome young man up close, Kuchel is very excited to meet you, you haven’t left her lips since the day they called your name.”

Armin blushed and his heart began to speed up, he wasn’t used to compliments, especially from someone from the Reiss family. “T-Thank you sir! I’m uh, very happy to-”

“URI~!” Someone yelled from upstairs. We all looked up to see a beautiful young woman with long black hair and pale skin. She was wearing a tight black dress with long sleeves and heeled boots. Her eyes lit up when she locked eyes with Armin, her mouth falling open in awe and shock.

“Well if it ain’t- Oh my lands it’s you!” She practically yells, quickly dashing down the stairs in her boots, her makeup dark and bold. Armin felt a twinge of envy for the older lady, she was so beautiful and lovely, someone who easily could have taken his whole role as Rapunzel. She ran over and took Armin’s hand into hers.

“It’s an absolute honor to meet you! Every year when I do these parties, you are probably the first person i’ve been this excited about meeting, you’ve been on everyone’s minds these past few days.” She said, Armin’s face getting redder and redder. He felt so…shabby next to this famous actress. Armin was in a purple dress shirt and skinny jeans while Kuchel was all dolled up in beautiful silk dress, he felt…unworthy of being here.

“I-It’s an honor to meet you too Mrs. Kuchel, i’m very glad to-”

Kuchel let out a bowing laugh, almost crying and coughing after she was done. “Oh sweety, oh baby doll, you’re the sweetest little thing,” she reached her hands to Armin, holding his face in her hands. “Sweety please, call me Kuchel, we’re both adults and we both are going to be great friends after this musical. Besides, it makes things much easier to be friends with the person you’re interacting with in the shoot.”

“Alright then, thank you for having me hear Kuchel, this is my grandfather.” Armin gestured towards his grandfather, who held out his hand to shake. Kuchel looked back over at Armin and smiled.

“Please, come with me into the main hall, I would like you to meet my brother!” Kuchel started with a twinkle in her eyes. Armin had honestly expected Levi’s mom to be more…like Levi, but she seems oddly sweet to be an Ackerman. He followed her, seeing Uri say something to Kuchel before heading off into the room. Not too many people were there, Armin and his Grandfather did leave earlier so it’s no surprised they got here sooner than most would. The room was large, bigger than most living rooms, but it still had a homey feel to it. Modern, but old fashioned all at once.

Armin looked around for a certain brunette-blonde, but his eyes were quickly torn away when he heard his name being called out by Kuchel, who was standing next to Uri while Uri had his arm wrapped around a much taller looking man. He was wearing a black dress shirt and dress pants, his hair slicked back into dark brown locks.

“Armin, this is Kenny Ackerman, my odd brother who will be working on costumes and the backstage tech, he’s kinda rude at first-”

Kenny scoffed before Kuchel could finish, causing the older woman to laugh.

“Oh shut it! I can introduce myself ya hag!” Kenny almost yelled out, his face not so angry as he just was annoyed at his sister. The older man looked over at me, scoffing and pushing his hair back.

“Nice to meet ya kid, i’ll be workin’ with ya guys behind set mosta’ the time. This here is Uri, he’ll also be behind set, he also makes mosta the costumes, so comin’ up soon you’ll have to make a day with ‘em and have him take your measurements.”

Armin stretched out his hand to shake the man’s, which he also reaches out and they shake, Armin trying not to wince at the pain of the older man’s grip.

“So if I can ask…have you actually looked up yer name and seen what people are chattin’ about?” Kenny asked, shifting his gaze to his sister, who was probably about to ask the same thing to the blonde. Armin shrugged.

“No, I haven’t. I tend to stay away from the internet…that and…I guess you could say I’m a coward, I don’t want to see all the hate i’m probably getting.” Armin admitted, tucking some of his hair behind his ear, shifting his gaze away from the two Ackermans.

“Well y’know, that’s not how you avoid it bud, yer a name people know now, it’s unavoidable, just accept not everyone’s gonna be happy with a guy playing a princess.” Kenny spat, Armin’s stomach turning with each word that came out of his mouth. He was right, but Armin didn’t want to admit it, or even think about it. He doesn’t want to know how the people see him now-

His parents…

What are they thinking?

_____

Rain. That’s all Armin heard for the next few days while his parents packed up his things in his room. Clothes, sheets, a few toys, everything they believed the blonde would need.

“Mommy-” Armin called out, reaching for his mothers hand, though before he could finish calling out her name, his mother snatched her hand away and took a few steps back. “Armin! Don’t sneak up on mommy like that!” She yelled, taking Armin’s hand and slapping it with full force. Armin winced and backed away, tears starting to form in his eyes. “I’m sorry…” he muttered to her, looking back up at her with red cheeks.

“Where are we going?” Armin asked, running over to his window to stare out into the rain. The droplets decorating the window like glitter. Armin’s father sighed, throwing one last stuffed animal in Armin’s bag…it was a rabbit, a beautiful, soft white rabbit his parents got him when he was born. Armin never let it go since.

“You’re going over to visit Grandpa for a while.” His father said, a sad, lonely tone in his voice. Armin smiled, never meeting his grandpa before. He was quite excited to meet him.

Armin grabbed his bag and his suitcases before running to the car, his parents in toe. Just before Armin shut the door of the car, he could hear his parent’s judging whispers.

“I told you, if you weren’t a coward, we wouldn’t have to do this.”

___

Armin was startled from his day dream by Levi, who was pulling him off to the side of the room.

“L-Levi, what are you-”

“Is everything alright?’ Levi asked, brushing his hands off on his pants. Armin nodded, yawning quickly before scratching his head.

“I kinda…zoned out there for a second. I didn’t know what came over me… “ Armin paused before looking around levi for a familiar brunette. “I thought Eren was here with you?”

Levi nodded. “He’s here, he’s up in my room playing video games with me…I don’t like my mom’s social gatherings too much, so I invited Eren over to keep my company. I came down to grab a drink and I saw you talking with my uncle…you looked-” Levi stopped, looking Armin in the eyes before continuing. “You looked so empty.”

Armin frowned. He was of course thinking of his parents, wondering what they thought about him now…maybe they might come home now that he’s made a name for their family. Armin missed them so much…he wish they were right here with him…

“Well…my room is upstairs on the left, third door down, has my name on the door…knock before you enter, Eren and I will be in there if you need to be alone for a bit.” Levi offered, patting Armin on the shoulder before heading off into a crowd of people.

Armin spent most of his time talking with other members of the program. He met the young girl who would be playing younger rapunzel, He met the some of the stage crew, and talked with Marco about his role. Instead of having Maximus be a horse, he’s a mute human who behaves similarly to the original cartoon horse. Marco was the one rewarded for that role, and he’s pumped to play the character. He’s kinda bummed he doesn’t speak, but that just means he has to move more to suit his actions into words.

Everyone wanted to talk to Armin though, he was on everyone’s lips. A lot of the questions were the same. “How do you feel about playing a princess?”, “Are you nervous after seeing the news?”, “Are you actually gay?” Armin could go on all night at the questions he got. Though once Jean showed up, they got even stranger.

“Hey Armin!” Jean called out for him while armin was grabbing a drink. Armin smiled upon seeing the brunette and walked over.

“Hey Jean! Finally you’re here, i’ve been bombarded with odd questions that it’s taking it out of me…”

Jean chuckled. “Yeah, i’ve been asked some weird things to…most of them being ‘am i being forced to kiss a guy even though i’m straight’. Then I have to tell them i’m Bisexual, then it gets weirder from there…i’m done.” Jean sighed, taking his hand and running it softly through Armin’s hair like a cat. “Though, on the subject, I guess we should start acting like we’re together now huh? Makes acting easier that way…”

Armin blushed, his blood quickly rushing up to his cheeks. “Y-Yeah, sure. Kuchel is already treating me like a son…” Armin said, leaning into Jean’s hand by accident. Jean doesn’t mind as he smiles once more before removing his hand away. “So i’ve read the script and written down some improve lines and what do do for which line already…so how about you and I after class go to Bertholdt’s dance studio and practice there before rehearsal starts so you’re not wondering around. I already talked with Bertholdt about it, he’s getting me a second key.”

“I’d like that.” Armin said, finally feeling a little twinkle in his heart from Jean’s words.

So this is love.

[lovemesomesurveys]

ONE - HI THERE ! It's an intro ! What do most people call you? Stephanie or Steph.

In what month is your birthday? July.

What country were you born in? America.

Do you have siblings? How many, if you do? I have two brothers.

Who do you live with? I live with my parents, brother, and doggo.

Are you in a relationship? Nope.

Do you go to school? No, I graduated UC back in 2015.

What mood are you in right now? A crappy one. 

What does your shirt look like? It’s rose gold with a glittery gold Disney “D” in puffy paint on the left corner with est. 1955 written underneath and then across the top on the back it says Disneyland in the same glittery gold puffy paint. 

What's your zodiac sign? Leo.

TWO - Your Appearance If you could have plastic surgery on any one body part, what would it be? I don’t want to have plastic surgery.

Are you satisfied with your hair? No. It badly needs to be dyed and trimmed for one. I also just don’t do anything with it besides throw it up in a bun because I have no energy or motivation to do anything else and blah.

Do you have a hitchhikers or a straight thumb? A hitchhiker’s thumb.

What colour are your eyes? Brown.

Do you have any tan lines? Nope. I’ve hardly gone outside for the past year.

How old do people usually think you are? They tend to guess early 20s.

What about your appearance do you get complimented on the most? Nothing. 

Are you comfortable with your weight? No.

Do you have any piercings or tattoos? Where? I just have my earlobes pierced. No tattoos. 

How tall are you? Like 5′4.

THREE - True or False. I love winter. I have eaten meat in the past five days. I have painted a room in a house. I can whistle. My keyboard is black. I have never bought something off an infomercial. I own a snuggie / would like to own a snuggie. I bite my pens / pencils. I wear glasses / contacts. My nails are painted right now.

FOUR - Childhood Memories ! (Cue the 'AWWW') What was your all time favourite movie as a kid? Disney movies. I also watched The Mask a lot as a kid for some reason haha I could quote the entire movie.

Do you still have your first pair of shoes somewhere? I actually do. 

Did you have anything you always dragged around the house, like a blanket? No.

What toy did you play with the most? I was a Barbie girl. 

Did you ever bring your favourite toys in the bathtub? Yep.

Did you used to take baths with siblings/cousins? No.

Are you still friends with your best friends from long ago? No.

Do your parents ever tell you stories about how cute/silly you were? Yeah, I’ve heard many stories. 

Did you go to the park often? Yeah. 

What was a typical outfit for the 5-year-old you? Something Osh Kosh B’gosh probably. It was a common kid brand back then. I think still is?

FIVE - FAVOURITES ! (Yes, I spell it with a 'u') Actor/Actress. Alexander Skarsgard.

Singer/Band/Both. I have many.

Chocolate. White chocolate.

Toothpaste. Sensdodyne. 

Picture of yourself. Ones from when I was a baby or little kid.

Pair of sunglasses. I don’t wear sunglasses.

Vegetable. Potatoes, spinach, and green onions.

Sandwich. Breakfast sandwich.

Aspect of nature. The ocean.

Word to say. Hmm.

SIX - Love Life ;) Who was the first person to ever ask you out? My first (and technically only) boyfriend, Derek.

What does your ideal date consist of? Food and something chill.

What's one thing your partner must be able to accept about you? The health stuff I’m dealing with and some of the things that come along with that.

Does your ideal person have any special talents? Such as...? I mean, if they’re artistic at all or play an instrument that would be cool.

Do your parents like the person you're with? (Or the last person) They liked Joseph.

Do you like pet names? They can be cheesy and cute. I prefer made up ones for each other over like “babe” or “baby”, though.

What is your age range? I’m 31, so somewhere in the 30s.

What is one attribute that your ideal partner must have? Patience.

When was the last time someone seriously said "I love you." to you? My mom did recently.

Have you ever been in more than one relationship at a time? No. 

SEVEN - The wonderful world of the Internet ! What is your most used website? Tumblr and YouTube.

Do you play any online games? No.

Which chat program do you use most often? None.

Facebook vs Myspace- which is better? Myspace isn’t even in the running anymore, it died over a decade ago.

Have you ever sold something on Ebay or Craigslist? No.

Have you ever gone on Chatroulette? Or Omegle video? I’ve gone on both before.

Are there any videos of yourself on Youtube? Yes, but they’re all private now.

Mac or PC? Mac all the way.

Have you ever Googled your name? Yeah.

EIGHT - This or That? Twilight or Harry Potter? French fries or potato wedges? Liquid or tape white out? Digital or film camera? Nail clippers or nail scissors? Rock, paper, or scissors? Beard or mustache? Knee high or ankle socks? Hockey or basketball? Mr Clean or sponge and 'the other leading cleaning product'? NINE - Be cool, stay in school! Ugh no that was a lame rhyme.. What subject are/were you best at? English.

How old will you be when you graduate high school / how old were you? I was 18.

Isn't there that point in the year when you stop caring so much? I definitely would get burnt out towards the end.

Do/did you have any really cool teachers? Yeah, a lot of my teachers were pretty cool.

Who is/was your most strict teacher? These two math professors I had in community college. They were awful.

Where do/did you sit at lunch? I didn’t have a particular spot.

What do/did you do at recess? Hung out with friends.

There's always that one kid who no one really knows, right? I’m sure that was me in high school.

Is/was your cafeterias food actually any good? I liked some of it. In high school I only ate school lunch freshman year, though.

Do/did you have a stereotypical school, with all those cliques and such? I mean yeah there were cliques, but it wasn’t how it was portrayed in the movies. 

TEN - Randomly Platypus. Do you like your toothbrush really wet when you're brushing your teeth? Yeah. 

What song are you currently obsessed with? There is one currently. I haven’t been listening to music lately.

Do you enjoy playing with tape? I don’t find tape entertaining. 

What's one word/phrase you say too much? “I don’t know”, ha.

When was the last time you went trick-or-treating? When I was like 17. One last hoorah. 

What did you last use a knife for? To cut a piece of brownie.

When you open a pack of gum, why is everyone your best friend? Trueee.

What has been on your mind way too much? Health related stuff. 2021 decided to start off with everything bothering me at once. 

Did you actually enjoy my survey? Yeah, it was cool.

[theuniversebeyondtherain]

Flower crown, fairy lights, daisies, 1975, pantone, moodboard, stars, plants, converse, lace, sunrise, overalls, combat boots, winged eyeliner, pastel, tattoos, piercings, messy bun, cry baby, grunge, old books, beaches, 11:11, painting, thunder, storms, love, clouds, coffee, marble (sorry I just can't restrain myself ahahaha)

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself?

This morning while I was packing my things? I seriously can’t restrain myself, even when my voice was completely broken I sang a bit :3

fairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know?

Too many things... Maybe I’d want to know it make it through my studies or if I can achieve my dreams to become a writer and to open my own bookshop ? Or maybe i’ll just ask it if my beloved cat if happy where he is now, or if I could have done something more to help before he died...

daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

Hum..... Being alive I guess? Though I ca’t really say I’m in good health but at least I’m here, happy and alive with my friends and my family?

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise?

Two days ago, I went shopping with my mom. It had been a very long time since I went with her. It made me very happy to do that with her. (since I live in a different city I usually go with my friends, @le-rire-des-etoiles I’ll always remember when you shut the curtain closed while saing “HIDE” xD It was so true !!!

pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail.

Wow I’ve got like 4 ppl that came up to my mind rn... Which one should I chose :3 I’ll start with the first one that appeared to me. She has long brown hairs (she’ll never do anything to them I tried to convince her to die them in green for a night with a perfectly nice hair coloring which didn’t last more that one shampoo but I’m still trying xD). She has some rectangular glasses because she doesn’t see very well with her brown eyes. She’s kinda small (smaller than me and I consider myself as a Hobbit xD), but as we say, everything small is cute! She’s very energic, she works in a school with some small children. She’s passionate about everything she does, which goes from friends, to work, parties and family. She’s a veeeery bad loser when we play (she can throw the cards at your face when we play Uno xD very funny actually) and we don’t always agree but it’s always nice because we can talk about almost everything without going into a big fight. But still, when she has an opinion, it’s almost impossible to make her changer her mind or even accept you have a different opinion, but it’s almost always on un-important subjects so it’s not a big deal. She’s very friendly and a very good cook too, even if shes kinda desperate that I can’t really make decisions, and I really love her.

moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood?

Yep, it was hard sometimes, but when I consider my friends childhoods, I definitly have a happy one.

stars: when did you last cry in front of another person?

Last night? We were watching a singing contest at the TV and we tarted crying like babies in front of one man... Still, amazing moment.

plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them.

@snarky-goldfish, @le-rire-des-etoiles and another friend who’s not on tumblr (Xao) because I can’t do that without all of them. They’re the best bunch of friends I’ve ever had and stargazing without all three of them wouldn’t be as fun as it would be with the three of them. @snarky-goldfish would go for the sarcastic or the sexual inuendues, @le-rire-des-etoiles would roll her eyes but go for it with a bunch of fun facts about it, and Xao and I would just listen and laugh while thinking about very sexual things that don’t belong there because we have a dirty mind xD

converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them?

I had once, and we became friends xD But that’s not a thing I normally do, I guess it just depend of the feeling I have with this person?

lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you?

It was like two weeks ago I think ? I was sick AF and so was my best friends so we start chitchatting instead of sleeping because we’re fucked up like that xD

sunrise:pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally.

“Life isn’t about finding yourself, it’s about creating yourself.” Troye Sivan.

overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars?

Go in vacation and fuck this world I guess? XD

combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way?

I am, I don’t know how to keep a grudge against someone for a long time. But I learned to be less forgiving or at least, even if I can forgive I never forget. But being always angry about someone is exhausting and I have better things to do.

winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self.

Hum.... Let’s pass this one darling because I’ve already wrote a novel with the answers and I still have like the half to go xD But I can do that in another post :P

pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel?

OMG definitely punk xD I love pastels too, but I’m more like punk and colors everywhere (even if they don’t belong together).

tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain.

I love tatoos, I’d love to get one but I’m afraid of needles xD And I’m not against piercings even if I won’t have it, It’s leaves marks and I have already enough of them.

piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not?

Not a lot of but I do wear make up. I like to cover my scars, I’m quite insecure about them.

messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them.

But in times of crisis, the wise build bridges, while the foolish build barriers.

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel.

OMG that’s gonna be a long one... Let’s begin : Sting (in which he reformed The Police, it was fucking amazing), Tokio Hotel, twice (I loved them and it was some very good concerts), Katy PErry (She was very nice actually), Silbermond (in some ancients roman ruins, I loved it), Tiger Lilies (freak show, scary but amazing), Queen, the Musical (not FReddy Mercury but still great), Within Temptation, twice too (first one was beautiful, the second much less because they wanted us to be seated like WTF), Tarja Turunen (I’m still crying because it was beautiful, and the drummer was amazing), Nightwish, three times (I WANNA GO AGAIN !!!!), Nickelback (I was in the first raw thanks to a friend, it was amazing!!!). Imagine Dragons (Loved it even if I drank a bit too much vodka), Robin des Bois (Loved it and cried a bit), The Script (Still there, once of the most beautiful ones), and I’m going to see Fall Out Boy next week :D

grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say?

I really don’t know...

old books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know?

I saw a porno for the first time when I was 10 and it actually really trauamtized me.

beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why?

Purple/pink because I already tried all the natural colors and I like the purple best :P

11:11:name three wishes and why you wish for them.

Well, it’s said that if we talk about our whishes they don’t come true... So i’ll better stay quiet ;)

painting:what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up.

Hum..... Two years ago, a friend of mine tried to put make up on me so I would look like the black swann in the Black Swan movie... I ended up as the Joker and it was faaaaar more fun !

thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars?

Kill or abuse someone.

storms: you on only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why?

Never give up on your dreams from Two Steps From Hell because it’s freaking inspiring and also it doesn’t have lyrics so I won’t grow tired of the voice or anything... But for the one person I’ll end up with the rest of my life... I can’t choose. Normally I would have said my cat but since he’s not here anymore.... I really don’t know ^^

love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realise you’re in love.

Yes I have. It’s like having a bunch of butterflies in the stomach... I didn’t really understood what was happening to me and the next thing I knew was that I was always smiling and feeling happy. I blushed a lot too but it’s kinda normal for me xD I don’t reallly know what it felt when I realised it, I was just really happy and I wanted to share my happiness too. It wa like seeing the sun everyday even if it was raining. It was the first time I was in love so yeah... it sounds a bit childish ^^

clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair?

Fuck yeah I’m a girl and I’ve gone with realy short hair in which I put some hair gel for years ! Even if I’m strating to let them grow now (the last one was too short, they were like 5mms long at the back... too short), I’ll always like short hair :D

coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone?

Well given that I don’t like coffee, I’ll say they’re iced green tea... But It’s trust @snarky-goldfish and @le-rire-des-etoiles to order me something because they know me by heart and they’ll go for something I wouldn’t have even try (and mostly liked) without them.

marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now?

Writing. I’m fed up with my studies and I really need a way to clear my mind and not t explode. So writing it is ! Because I’ll always like it more than sports xD

So here you go Sweetheart @roxas-j-frost ! There was a hell lot of questions but I’ve managed to answer them all !! Yeepee !!! I really had fun with that and I hope you’ll like my answers !!!

[szopenhauer]

Would you consider yourself a good flirt?

What do you like better about yourself: your boobs or butt? neither?

Have you ever been homeless? not yet :x

Have you ever been to a palm reader? If so, what did they say? nah, I can learn myself

What’s your bra size? *shrug*

Is there anybody that you’re glad that they aren’t in your lives anymore? could say so

Has anybody ever fought somebody for you? verbally

What color do you wear most often? not sure

Are you more likely to take the blame, or blame somebody else? I blame myself even when I blame somebody else lol

Do you like your hair? wouldn’t say so

Do you find it irritating when people don’t trust you? why would they trust me or anybody actually?

Would you consider yourself a busy person? as for a person who doesn’t do anything in particular...

Do you hate your phone? sometimes it annoys me but it’s fine

What was the reason for your last hospital visit? I’ve been to ER because of allergy

Have you ever driven while under the influence? I don’t drive nor drink so...

Describe the earrings you’re wearing, if any. my ears aren’t pierced but if they were I would wear tiny hoops or some weird shit like this spider I bought for John and never gave her

Do you know anybody who is studying abroad? used to know some ppl who did

How well can you swim? I can’t

What aren’t you going to miss about summer? mosquitos

Have you ever been kayaking before? no and don’t wanna

Do you ever wish you could go back in time? it’s complicated

Can you reach your back with your arms? not some parts

What is your zodiac sign? Aquarius is my sun sign but Capricorn is my dominant sign

Have you ever played Pac-Man? I don’t recall

What is something that you lack? where should I start...

Have you ever been told that you have a nice boobs? my gf likes them 

When’s the last time you ate a Tic-Tac? ages ago and don’t miss them, completele forgot they exist

Do you own any knick knacks? shitload

Have you ever said that something is “whack”? doubt it

When’s the last time you felt attacked? today

Do you crack your knuckles? Any other parts of your body? omg no, I hate it!

What’s the last thing you had to make a stack of? pile of clothes?

Is it hard for you to keep track of things? hmm...

What’s the last thing you accidentally whacked a body part on? not sure what part of my body I banged last

What does your most recent backpack look like? recently used or bought?

Have you ever crawled through a window? I think so

Is there anything in your past that you’d like to try again? sigh...

Who was the last person to come to your house? Gosia visited me yesterday to pee XD

Do you like winter time? nooooo

Who do you not get along with? majority of society

Have you ever been around someone who was high? yup

Do you like where you live? meh

Are you a jealous person? might be

Do you wish someone would call you? absolutely not, I dread phonecalls, unless hospital then only if they have good news

Wouldn’t it be cool to be able to read minds? not all the time like Buffy had because I would go crazy

Do people ever spell your name wrong? they spell and write my surname wrong and sometimes they use different names than I have like Zosia or Kamila wtf

Is there anyone you want to fix things with? ...

Why do you do these surveys? why not? it’s fun

Where did you last go outside you’re house? second hand and local food store to buy bread

What is the point of violence? depends

Do you like horror movies better or comedy? black comedy :P

You could move somewhere else, would you? yes

Do you like calling or texting better? texting

Night out or night in? in

Do you sleep on your side, stomach, or back? definitely not on my back

Whens the next time you will see the person you like? we planned to meet today but we’ll see

How do you look right now? not as bad as I feel

What do you think of when you hear the word “meow”? my gf 

where do you see yourself in 5 years? dead

who is the first guy that pops in your head? my father

have you ever read the book “the perks of being a wallflower”? watched a movie, it was nice

do you get dessert normally while out to eat? nope

have you ever let a door slam on someones face on purpose? whaaaat?!

who was your first kiss? my current partner

is there somewhere you’re meant to be right now? not really, nah

name one childhood memory. personal

where is your childhood best friend now? dunno

have you moved in the past 2 years? I never moved in my entire life

how many rooms are in your house? 3

can you see anything red at this moment? hand mirror

do you look at the keyboard when you type? when I start typing 

have you ever dated someone to get someone else jealous? umm...

have you ever been used; and then tossed to the side? more than once

if you look to your left do you see a window? I do indeed

Where do you want to live when you are older?: my own apartment 

When was the last time you were sick?: I’m chronically ill, does that count?

What is the relationship between you and the last person you kissed?: we’re in a relationship

Name something you disliked about the day you had today?: my body is itchy, I have period, my plans got ruined, I’m anxious, it’s cold and my dad isn’t home so I miss him, I regret spending money etc etc etc

Have you had your birthday this year yet?: yeah

Would you ever tell your mom about the things you’ve done sexually?: not in details :x

Who was the last person you talked to last night in person before bed?: parent

Do you have clothes that belong to other people?: I don’t borrow clothes

If you have siblings, which one of you is going to be married first?: my sister is already married 

What would you name your future daughter?: I’m not having children but I have a whole list of my fav names :D

Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a bed?: I have

Angry at anyone?: just a tiny bit

Is there anyone you would do anything for?: not everything but a lot 

Does the last person you held hands with mean something to you?: yep

Is it hard to make you laugh?: to some, it also depends on the moment

Do you think any of your exes will eventually want to be with you again?: pfft

Is it okay to kiss people when you’re single?: *shrug*

Where is the person you last kissed at this moment?: doing her hair

Would you rather pierce your tongue or lip?: lip

Next time you will kiss someone?: today?

Something’s wrong. First person you go to?: parents?

Do you hate it when people smoke around you?: usually, most often

Have you ever broken someone’s heart?: it seems

Ever gotten yourself into a confusing situation?: that’s life

Do you have an attitude?: I guess

Do you know anybody whose last name is a color?: nope

Would you kiss someone to make your ex bf/gf mad?: I’m not single now but if I wasn’t... How was last night?: not good enough

Have you ever dyed your hair?: blue (grey), green, black, red

When someone says “we need to talk,” what runs through your mind?: oh shit oh damn oh fuck I’m screwed what’s going on - so anxious!

Do you know anyone that smokes weed?: used to know

Are your parents still together?: they are

What are you wearing on your feet?: socks and raccoon slippers

Is it awkward when you run into your ex?: would be not only awkward

Who do you blame for your bad mood today?: myself, God, my mom, my gf, maybe even president

Have you ever fallen asleep with the last person you kissed?: not yet

Do you remember names or faces better?: neither

Does it matter to you if your boyfriend/ girlfriend drinks?: kinda

Waiting for something?: more than one thing

You find out your ex is having a kid with someone you say?: stupid, gross

When’s the last time you were surprised? positively or negatively?

What is the last non-alcoholic beverage you had? water

Your mom finds used condoms in your room, you tell her? -

Do you find smoking unattractive? the smell and taste and the fact it’s unhealthy and expensive habit

If you were granted one wish, what would you wish for? health for all, forever, not saying about injuries but diseases

Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol? 100%

Whose bed were you on last? mine duh

When was the last time you changed in front of someone? this day

Last person you kissed, have you cried in front of them? 3 times and counting :x

Do you think the last person you kissed is nice? grrr

Could you go out in public looking like you do now? whatever

Do you believe exes can really ever be “just friends”? there’s a tiny possibility of that

Your ex wants you back? that’s why we’re together

Would you rather love one person or have many short relationships? 1 person

Ever dated someone cute with crappy personality? sadly

Do you want your ex to be happy, even if it means not being with you? I said that

What would happen if you had a baby with the last person you kissed? that would be a miracle as we’re both women

Would you prefer a kiss on the cheek or neck? neck

Would it hurt seeing the person you last kissed kissing someone else? that would be also disgusting

Do you have a member of the opposite sex you can tell everything to? dad

Has the last person you kissed, met your family? she knew my father but yesterday met my mom as well

Do you think anyone has feelings for you? my gf

You’re insanely drunk stumbling through the streets, slurring songs, who are you with? someone who made me drunk and will pay for it 

Do you like to cuddle? when in the mood for that

Do you know anyone who would just drop everything to come see you? not everything unless I was dying or smth

Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn’t do? and I regret that

Is there someone you used to talk to every day that you don’t talk to at all? bunch of ppl

Can you have more than one best friend? yas

Are you starting to realize anything? this question bothers me somehow 

Do you hate it when people mispronounce your name? I’m used to it even tho it doesn’t happen that often

Think back to your most important relationship, was it all your fault it ended? it is still going on 

Do you think blondes are stupid, honestly? that ask, really? 

Can you get over people easily? yes and no

Where did you get the shirt you are wearing? second hand, it was in children’s section, whoops I have no boobs nor weight nor height

So, what do you want for your birthday? Jughead’s hat

If the last person you kissed tried to kiss you again, would you start kissing? obvi

Did you sleep alone last night? I did 

Do you believe that there are certain circumstances where cheating is okay? NO

Is there anyone who doesn’t like you because of something you didn’t do? many ppl

Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days? I have 

How was your weekend? emotional?

Was your last kiss drunk or sober? sober

Do you think that you’re a good person? am not, I wish I was better

If you could seek revenge on someone would you? I’m not a revengeful person but I laugh when someone I don’t like is punished by life, sorry not sorry?

Do you like your best friend’s boyfriend/​girlfriend?​ my mom or myself? 

Ever been called heartless? smth similar

Can a boy and girl be friends without having feelings for each other? if they’re gay or family members

Are you able to get people to believe you when you are lying? I’m good at lying but I don’t like to lie

How many more minutes until you will next eat? soon Do you have to go to school and/or work today? no job and graduated

Have you read all of the Harry Potter books? not interested

Would you rather no heat in winter or no A/C in the summer? no A/C in the summer is way better

Do you do your own laundry? my mom helps me 

Have you ever read an entire book in one sitting? like twice

Have you ever seen your favorite band live? only Ania Rusowicz 

Do you drink water or soda more often? water, I don’t drink soda at all

Do you like cats?  they’re cool but don’t want to own one

Have you ever kissed someone whose name starts with M? my gf’s name starts with M :)

If forced to be one, would you rather be bulimic or anorexic? excuse me?... anorexic tho as I hate puking

Wasn’t Heath Ledger the best Joker there ever was? Nicholson was and I didn’t watch the last Joker movie yet with Phoenix

If you found out your friend was smoking weed, would you be disappointed? mhm

Do you find that people don’t really understand you? most of them, most of the time

Do you like the ocean? nah

Have you ever done something that you knew was wrong? I’m never sure?

Are you listening to music currently? am not

Do you read and believe your horoscope? for fun ;) but once in a long time

Does the news depress you? that’s why I avoid it

Can you resist temptation? more than most ppl I know

What do/did you normally get detentions for? other’s fault

Does your alarm clock actually awaken you? it didn’t today, my mom’s voice did when she came to inform me my alarm is yapping huehue

Ever think you might have seen a UFO? with my dad

Do you know anyone who DOESN’T have a cell phone? my niece because she’s 2 

Have you bought any CDs recently? too expensive and I have yt and spotify so why would I?

Do you type fast? very, I was best in school :3

How long are you usually in the shower for? half an hour

Do you know anyone who has their eyebrow pierced? I don’t

What was the last movie you watched? again or for the first time?

When is your birthday? 1st Feb

When did you last talk to your brother or sister? day ago

Have you done anything sexual in the past 12 hours? romantic

Did the last person you kiss have a tattoo? she doesn’t have one

Have you ever liked someone older than you? I thought so

What color are your eyes? hazel? Do you enjoy going through a car wash? never been so no idea

Ever called a person useless? I don’t think so Is there someone you wish you were still close with? grandma 

Did the last person you kiss have piercings? ears only

Do you like the snow? hate, only snowmen are nice but not Olaf from Frozen

Does it bother you when someone lies to you? usually, obviously

Was the last person you kissed cute? was

Have you ever been in trouble for something you honestly didn’t do? so many times When you trip, do you get embarrassed or just play it off? embarassed af

Would you consider yourself spoiled? in a way? Let’s test your memory, what color shirt were you wearing during your last kiss? white 

Have you ever kissed two people in one night? noooo

Do you still talk to the person you last kissed? not currently but in general we talk

How long does it take you to fall asleep at night? too long, like 2 hours 

What would your name be with just the first three letters? Zuz - cute

Where did you sleep last night? my own bed 

Who was the last person to be in your bedroom besides you? family member

Does anyone disgust you? some at all times, some during certain situations

What do you tend to drink a lot of? water

[springjeon]

tagged by the darling @hexmen for the selfie + bias tag 💕 i think jk and i would get along because we wear a lot of black and don’t have a lot of selfies

@thirdfromtheleft if you’re not crazy busy i’d love to see your cute face next!

i’ll do the questions under a read more. i’m dating myself here but it reminds me of doing myspace surveys :O

“Answer these statements” game below: Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people (PSSSSH NAH MAN)

THE LAST:

1. Drink: water!

2. Phone call: a korean teacher from one of my schools

3. Text message: a different korean teacher from school!

4. Song you listened to: the cover of really, really by dreamcatcher

5. Time you cried: a few days ago while reading something emotional (it was a yoonseok fic, sue me! http://archiveofourown.org/works/11711706 you should read it though it’s amazing)

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: nope

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: as kimmy schmidt said, “i’ve made some kissing mistakes”

8. Been cheated on: no

9. Lost someone special: no

10. Been depressed: yes

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: yeah but the real trick is throwing up because you’re so hungover

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12. blue

13. red

14. green

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: yes

16. Fallen out of love: nope

17. Laughed until you cried: yes

18. Found out someone was talking about you: yeah i’m a teacher in a foreign country. if the students aren’t talking about me it’s the other teachers

19. Met someone who changed you: everything since coming to korea is a huge change

20. Found out who your friends are: i suppose? i don’t really hang out with people i have bad vibes about in the first place

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: yes 

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all i think

23. Do you have any pets: they all live with my mom so not really. i have a plant that is surviving against all odds

24. Do you want to change your name: no

25. What did you do for your last Birthday: went to japan with my friend :)

26. What time did you wake up: 7:15!!! first day back after vacation :(

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: talking to my friend from home

28. Name something you can’t wait for: muster, wings in seoul

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: February when I was home :(

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i wish i was fluent in korean! to help with my general life and reading bangtan tweets

31. A song you love right now: sign of the times by harry styles

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: oof, i think? 

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: my boss hasn’t asked me about renewing my contract yet and she’s more than a month late

34. Most visited website: twitter/tumblr

RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME

35. Mole/s: one on my chest that lets me know when a shirt is too low for school

36. Mark/s: scar on my lip from a dog bite, scar through my eyebrow from softball 

37. Childhood dream: being a vet

38. Hair color: brown

39. Long or short hair: i always prefer my long hair even when it’s a pain

40. Do you have a crush on someone: i guessss

41. What do you like about yourself: i’m funny dammit

42. Piercings: one helix piercing. i really want two but i don’t think i have the ear real estate tbh. i’d be fine with the one i have now and then double lobes on both ears.

43. Blood type: O negative. universal donor!

44. Nickname: ames, blamy

45. Relationship status: too busy

46. Zodiac: leo

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favorite TV show: i just watched all of American Vandal in one sitting oh my god i love that show

49. Tattoos: none

50. Right or left hand: rightie

51. Surgery: does wisdom teeth count? that was gnarly

52. Hair dyed in different colors: i was blonde for a few years in high school/college

53. Sport: baseball! softball!

54. There’s no question here so fun fact: i didn’t learn to ride a bike until i was in high school

55. Vacation: like favorite vacation? japan was such a huge deal for me. i like my solo trips though too. i just got back from busan and boy are my arms tired and being alone was so nice.

56. Pair of trainers: i’m a middle schooler so i wear converse almost every day

57. Eating: sometimes i just want to sit down with a big bowl of noodles and chopsticks you know. also i get tteokbokki like once a week

58. Drinking: korea has gotten me really into coffee. so has aging.

59. I’m about to: .....take a shower and watch 90 day fiance....

60. No question here either so another fun fact: i once met idina menzel at a tennis tournament and she put our cheeks together when we took a picture. her skin was so soft

61. Waiting for: halloween in itaewon!

62. Want: to high five all of bts, a lot of money, a good cheeseburger

63. Get married: sure

64. Career: idiot about town 

WHICH IS BETTER

65. Hugs or kisses: hugs

66. Lips or eyes: eyes

67. Shorter or taller: most people are taller than me so 

68. Older or younger: either i guess

69. No question here: thanks man

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: arms

71. Sensitive or loud: time and a place for both right

72. Hook up or relationship: relationship

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant 

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: yes 

75. Drank hard liquour: yes

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: nope

77. Turned someone down: yes 

78. Sex on the first date: hey man, let’s just - hey, man ok just - hey look

79. Broken someone’s heart: uh i don’t know

80. Had your heart broken: sure

81. Been arrested: no ma’am

82. Cried when someone died: yes

83. Fallen for a friend: yes sir

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: in my physical form? sure. in my ability to guide that physical form through life? uhhh

85. Miracles: no

86. Love at first sight: nah

87. Santa Claus: duh, he’s at the mall

88. Kiss on the first date: yeah if you’re into it why not

89. Angels: i believe jung hoseok is an angel. otherwise no.

OTHER:

90. Current best friend’s name: jess!

91. Eyecolor: brown

92. Favorite movie: uh i don’t know, i watch a lot of documentaries lately. the last movie i saw was baby driver which was real cool before it got real messy

[dykephannie]

REALITY OTP CH. 1

MASTER LIST. PLAYLIST. NEXT CHAPTER. PREVIOUS CHAPTER.

click here for my twitter to receive sneak peeks into next week’s chapter and special behind the scenes info!

summary: Avid fangirl Gracie Green expected that the most extraordinary thing to happen to her at Summer in the City was meeting her long time obsessions Dan Howell and Phil Lester. This proves to be untrue when a fatal virus sweeps through the convention, killing everyone except for Gracie and the very two people she was there for. The odd threesome must travel across Europe to escape an evil tyrant who has claimed the crown for herself, and face not only the dangers of this new, post-apocalyptic world, but the feelings and secrets uncovered by the life threatening journey.

Because after all, it’s the harshest conditions that reveal the deepest truths about us, truths we’re not even willing to admit to ourselves.

important note: This is a PHANfiction, as in a fanfic in which Dan and Phil will enter some sort of relationship other than friendship by the end of the story. Please do not be turned off by the presence of the original character, she is merely a platonic companion of Dan and Phil. Perspectives will switch between the three per chapter. Thank you, and enjoy.

chapter word count: 2.2k

tw: mention of fatal illness

GRACIE

The end of the world generally starts off normal for most people.

They get up, out of bed, get changed, brush their teeth. Go to school or work or get back into bed and they go about their business until the fireballs start raining and their school or their work or their house ends up a heap of ashes for some Katniss Everdeen type to stumble across twenty years after the End only to discover their rotting bones and the useless keepsakes that were the only part of them to survive.

That’s not how it went for me.

Today, August 11th, 2020, had been a day long awaited for almost a year, from the moment I sat at my computer screen after hours upon hours of waiting, eyes burning from the bright light in my dim room, finger hovering over the mouse, refreshing constantly, until the moment of satisfaction finally came. Two tickets to Summer in the City, confirmed for Gracelyn Green. Today, well, it was anything but normal.

I had called Eliza immediately, my squeals echoing around my small room, hers doing the same, if not a bit more subdued than mine. That night I started at my desk, pencil scratching against the paper, etching the outline of the familiar curls and cheekbones, suddenly inspired by the prospect of seeing that face, desperate to make a worthy gift. I remembered I had stopped at the eyes. It was the first time I had realized that those eyes didn’t quite look right. From then on in every drawing I did of him, I was never quite satisfied with the eyes.

That very same first drawing was hanging above my head, those eyes filled in with constellations. I had been staring at it all night, unable to sleep, a cocktail nerves and excitement brewing in my stomach. It was strange how one could plan a moment for six years yet still be caught so off guard when the moment drew near. I picked up my phone, just as the 5:59 shifted to 6:00. It was go time.

The blue morning light was streaming through the gaps in my blinds as I pushed aside my duvet and strode across the room to the outfit meticulously selected and draped across my couch days earlier. I called Eliza, sticking my phone under my cheek as I pulled up my ripped jeans.

“Hello?” my best friend grumbled, voice heavy with sleep.

“You're not awake yet?” I chirped, running a brush through my blonde waves.

“It’s six am, Gracie, no rational person is awake right now.”

“Come on bitch, since when are you rational?”

I heard Eliza sigh on the other end as I shifted my phone back into my hand and wandered down the hall and into the bathroom. My house was quiet save for the squeak of the floorboards under my toes and the click of the bathroom door closing. And the house stayed quiet as I spoke to Eliza behind the door, struggling to get my eyeliner just right and the morning tangles from my hair.

At around 10, Eliza pulled up in her Range Rover, honking loudly.

“Do you have your workout clothes?” my mom called as I pulled the door open extravagantly.

“Yes mom!”

“Because you have an hour of karate and then two of jiu-jitsu on the last day of your convention!”

“I know mom!”

“Have fun, be safe!”

“I will!” I shouted, closing the door behind me and shouldering my heavy backpack, full of two nights worth of clothes. Our parents had decided that 17 was mature enough to stay in a hotel alone, which meant we wouldn’t have to drive back and forth every day of the convention.

“You look cute,” Eliza said drily as I buckled in.

I glanced down at my blossom sweater. “You like it?”

“Definitely a statement.”

“That’s rich coming from you.” I leaned over and knocked the bill of her ProSyndicate snapback resting on top of her coily black hair. “You’re just as much of a total nerd as I am. More, in fact.”

“Yeah yeah, at least I don’t draw creepy fanart.”

“At least I don’t have a Call of Duty gaming channel.”

Eliza stuck her tongue out at me, dark eyes flashing in the sunlight. “How am I supposed to handle staying with you for three days straight?”

“We’ve been friends with me for eight years, I think you can manage.” I frowned. “Plus, my fanart isn’t creepy.”

Keeping an eye on the road, she reached over and pulled out the drawing of a couple lying together on a couch, long limbs intertwined, eyes closed, content and happy. “That’s creepy, Gracie.”

“It’s not,” I insisted. “It’s art.”

Eliza knew it was useless arguing with me. She leaned forward and connected her phone to Bluetooth, playing some old Lana Del Rey song.

“Is this necessary, Lize? Shouldn’t we be getting pumped up and excited, instead of listening to, like, the most depressing artist ever?”

“Well what do you want to play?”

I grinned manically, grabbing the aux cord before she could object and clicking on the playlist at the top of my Spotify.

“You’ve got to be joking,” she groaned.

“What? You like Muse!”

“Yeah, not in this context.”

It took us about an hour to drive to the ExCel Convention Center, and by the time we found parking, we had an two hours to get to the meet and greet line. The line ate up about an hour of that time, but after showing our tickets at the door and ceremoniously draping my lanyard around my neck, Eliza and I were in.

And holy shit was it glorious.

Crowds of people milled about the bottom floor. Some were dressed in dull colors despite the bright hues in their hair and the glittering piercings in their ears and noses. Others wore flowing, flowered dresses and high heeled tennis shoes, accompanied by ambitious cat eyes and smoky eye shadow. There were people in band shirts and onesies, flower crowns and combat boots. Within seconds I spotted a group of squealing kids a few years younger than me, dark black whiskers on their cheeks and familiar faces on their shirts. I was too excited to cringe, too electrified by the sea of people just like me.

And the convention center itself was magnificent. Balconies and floors stuffed with merch booths and advertisements for the newest YouTube Red shows, accosting us with either Jake or Logan Paul’s ads as soon as a corner was turned. I would’ve lived here if I could’ve, even if it meant sleeping uncomfortably close to one of the Pauls’ giant robot faces.

“Where do you want to start?” Eliza asked.

I laughed out loud. She already knew the answer. I made a beeline straight to the merch booth of my choice, bringing Eliza with me.

“Can’t we visit MatPat’s store first? They have a new Game Theorists shirt design and I want to support them but they’re limited edition…”

“Nope, not happening.” We were already in line, and a familiar face was already coming into view.

“You’re a bitch,” she grumbled, drumming her fingers against the table at the booth.

I shoved her shoulder. “Shut up, he’s coming!”

A tall man with light brown hair approached, smiling when he noticed my excited gaze. “Hey Martyn!” I told him. Practice for the real thing, practice for the real thing. “Could I get one of the new posters and a whisker hoodie in a small?”

“Sure thing.” He reached underneath the table, handing me the hoodie and the rolled up poster. I handed him my money.

“A selfie too?”

Martyn smiled and leaned across the counter, pressing my change into my hand as I snapped the photo, sending it immediately to my Snapchat story.

“Thanks dude!” I told him, collecting my merch and striding away from the merch booth, trying to mask the shaking in my hands.

“Did you just call Martyn Lester dude?” Eliza hissed as we walked away. “What are you, American?”

“Please stop reminding me of that, I’m like ten seconds away from dying of embarrassment.”

We browsed the gaming tent next, on Eliza’s not-so-polite request, only for me to watch her pick up everything within sight and promptly put it down after glancing at the price tag. I had a Princess Peach sweatshirt slung over my shoulder by the time she eventually settled on a DS pack with the new Animal Crossing.

“Mario? Really?”

“We’ve played together since the Wii game came out!” I said defensively. “It’s basically our childhood!”

“We never did beat that last world.”

“We should get on that.” I glanced at my phone. It was almost time. “C’mon Lize, we’ve got to get upstairs!” I told her, grabbing her by the wrist again and tugging her towards the nearest staircase before she could even put her change in her wallet.

We ran to the end of the end of the meet and greet line, almost colliding with a smaller girl with a flower crown clutching a colorful book in her hand nervously.

“So sorry,” I stuttered, putting my hand on her shoulder to steady myself.

“Oh wow!” she exclaimed. “You’re sunshineboyes!”

My face heated up. I had been spotted a couple times at VidCon last year, getting identified by the URL of my tumblr blog, which boasted nearly 30 thousand followers due to my fanart. Getting recognized always caught me off guard. I was just a girl that liked drawing YouTubers, not one of the YouTubers themselves.  

“Oh, uh, hey there!” I said. Eliza raised her eyebrows, turning to her phone. “It's nice to meet you!”

“I love your art so much,” she gushed. “Is that some of it in there?”

She pointed at the folder in my hand, I opened it up, flipping to my favorite drawing. The lion filling up half the frame glared back at me, across from the large blue eye and pale face and dark hair on the other side. “Uh, yeah. These are the ones I’m giving to them.”

“Wow!” she squealed. “They're even more incredible in real life!”

“Thanks, you're sweet.” I figured that was closest to the ahhhhh ty! ilysm!! sentiment I could get to in real life.  

“Can I get a selfie?” She already had her camera open.

I leaned my head against hers, smiling widely as she snapped the photo. She opened up tumblr as soon as she brought her phone down.  

“Tag me in that, I’ll follow you!” I told her. Her face positively lit up.

“Oh wow, wait until I tell my group chat that Gracie’s following me!”

I blushed again, turning back to Eliza, who was still glancing down at her phone, amused.

“What?” I hissed.

“Nothing, nothing. It’s just funny, that’s all.”

We chatted amongst ourselves for another hour, waiting as the line slowly grew larger behind us, and my hopes slowly grew higher. My heart was nearly hammering in my chest, and I had to concentrate on taking deep breaths or risk hyperventilation. I couldn’t gauge how excited Eliza was in comparison to me. Eliza claimed to only causally enjoy the pair I positively obsessed over. But I didn’t think it mattered. Meeting someone famous on any level had to be exciting.

Even more exciting, I realized as the line started to move, if they had taken up nearly six years of your life.

After another couple hours I could see the corner of a plastic tarp littered with SitC and sponsor decals, two tall, unmistakable shadows cast over it. My heart was lodged in my throat, no matter how hard I tried to swallow it down, and the warm bursts of excitement throughout my chest had turned to cold fear pumping through my veins, a cold fear that no amount of positive meetup descriptions could ease. Because what if mine went wrong? What if I accidentally blurted something out that I definitely didn’t mean to blurt out? What if instead of my totally fine fanart, I packed that one NSFW thing I did and then almost immediately deleted in fear that my mom would do a random computer check? What if I hugged them wrong? Or tripped over one of them and broke my face? Or broke their faces?! I would never be forgiven. I would go down in history as the girl who gave NSFW art to and broke the money makers of --

“Gracie!”

I blinked out of my spiral of panic. Eliza had her hand on my shoulder. “We’re next.”

The girl in front of me had just disappeared behind the tarp, and my heart had just risen even further than I would’ve thought humanly possible. I was so close. Literally a couple minutes and ten steps away from a dream that had been six years in the making…

When a loud crackling noise sounded through the convention center from the speakers in the ceiling.

“Attention Summer in the City guests and staff. Please remain calm. We have just been notified of a fast traveling, fatal virus spreading through London. We are putting the ExCel Center under quarantine. Attention Summer in the City…”

It took just a second to process before the ground under my feet began to spin. Eliza was clutching my arm tightly, nearly cutting off the blood flow with her sharp nails. The shadows were disappearing behind a closed door. Screams were echoing through the center, drowning out the calm drone of the PA system.

But honestly I barely registered the fact that my death might be creeping up on me with every breath I inhaled.

I was just pissed that I wouldn’t get to meet Dan and Phil.  

[bey0nd-the-peruvian-lama]

Tag

Tagged by @niniel-kirkland.

LAST:

1. Drink:

Water

2. Phone call:

Dad

3. Text message:

Grandpa

4. Song you listened to:

Daia no Hana by Yoriko. Black Cat’s anime opening song I M  I N  L O V E  W I T H  I T  G O S H

5. Time you cried:

Two days ago. I hit the inside of my elbow with a doorknob it hurts like hell

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice:

No

7. Kissed someone and regretted it:

No

8. Been cheated on:

No

9. Lost someone special:

My cat.

10. Been depressed:

Obviously yes.

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up:

No

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14:

Dark blue, purple, crimson

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends:

Yes

16. Fallen out of love:

No

17. Laughed until you cried:

Yes

18. Found out someone was talking about you:

No

19. Met someone who changed you:

Not really

20. Found out who your friends are:

Maybe

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list:

Don’t have Facebook sooooo no

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life:

Like I said, I don’t have Facebook.

23. Do you have any pets:

Had. A cat named Solaar. He passed out one month ago now, and I’d lived my entire life with him so far.

24. Do you want to change your name:

Not really

25. What did you do for your last Birthday:

Burried my great grand-mother. Happy 18th Birthday me !

26. What time did you wake up:

10:00 am

27. What were you doing at midnight last night:

Listening to music while reading some yaoi stuff

28. Name something you can’t wait for:

Next week we’ll be in Normandy with my family and we have planned on visiting many, MANY places about D-Day and other things SO I AS A HISTORY STUDENT AM QUITE EXCITED ABOUT THESE HOLIDAYS.

29. When was the last time you saw your mom:

At lunch

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life:

That freakin’ accident I got in PE to get rid of that pain in my lower back which in reality will remain ‘till I die. Sweet.

31. What are you listening to right now:

Kiss from a rose by Steal

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom:

No

33. Something that is getting on your nerves:

Everything can potentialy get on my nerves, since I’m quite short-tempered

34. Most visited website:

The website I visit most ? Pinterest. Or else... Twitter I think.

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME

35. Mole/s:

A lot. Exemples : a big one on the inside of my right elbow, and a tiny one on my nose

36. Mark/s:

three on my right arm, and a birthmark on my left thigh (it’s shapped like a cloud it’s a cute one lmao)

37. Childhood dream:

To be an archeologist because I was -and am still- a huuuuuge fan of Harrison Ford. And my favorite film of all time is the third Indiana Jones.

38. Hair color:

Brown

39. Long or short hair:

Quite short

40. Do you have a crush on someone:

Don’t think so

41. What do you like about yourself:

:-)

42. Piercings:

earings

43. Blood type:

O-

44. Nickname:

Coco, Captain Coke, Coconut face, UNICORN

45. Relationship status:

Single

46. Zodiac:

Virgo

47. Pronouns:

It :-)

48. Favorite TV Show:

BBC Sherlock, Vikings, The Lazy Company. I also watch Game of Thrones BUT I can’t say it’s one of my favourites.

49. Tattoos:

None

50. Right or left hand:

Both

51. Surgery:

Right wrist, and a looooooot of painful surgery stuff when I was nothing but a little shrimpy like baby (seriously I looked like a shrimp)

52. Hair dyed in different color:

Do dyed strands count ?

53. Sport:

Dance for two years, then tennis and now NOTHING

55. Vacation:

Next three weeks

56. Pair of trainers:

I HATE trainers. It smells ugh

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating:

Pasta carbonara

58. Drinking:

Water

59. I’m about to:

Answer an other tag

61. Waiting for:

._. Nothing ? My birthday maybe ?

62. Want:

:-)

63. Get married:

Maybe

64. Career:

I don’t really know yet but it will have something to do with History

WHICH IS BETTER

65. Hugs or kisses:

Hug

66. Lips or eyes:

Eyes

67. Shorter or taller:

Taller

68. Older or younger:

:-)

70. Nice arms or nice stomach:

Um... What ?

71. Sensitive or loud:

Sensitive. I AM THE LOUD ONE WOOOOOOOOH

72. Hook up or relationship:

Don’t care

73. Troublemaker or hesitant:

Hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a Stranger:

No. I kissed a friend once but she wasn’t a stranger.

75. Drank hard liquor:

Yes

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses:

No

77. Turned someone down:

Yes

78. Sex on the first date:

No

79. Broken someone’s heart:

Don’t think so

80. Had your heart broken:

No

81. Been arrested:

No

82. Cried when someone died:

Yes

83. Fallen for a friend:

Yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself:

No

85. Miracles:

No

86. Love at first sight:

Not really

87. Santa Claus:

Weeeeell I’ll be 19 in less than a month soooo no

88. Kiss on the first date:

No

OTHER:

90. Current best friend name:

Childhood best friend : Lucie

Uni’s best friend : Angélique I’ll say

IVL’s best friend : ... I can’t choose between Julie and Véréna (sorry Princess T.T)

91. Eye color:

Light green

92. Favorite movie:

Indiana Jones : The last crusade AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

AND FOR ONCE I’LL TAG SOMEONE ! @nohrianhime <3

[shortjohnsilver]

tagged by @baalmuian ty bruh i love talkin about myself LAST:

1. Drink: cherry pepsi 5ever. or until i decide to stop trying to die young. 2. Phone call: uhhh probably a potential job n trying to set up an interview 3. Text message: telling my aunt i’d do it this ONCE to get a student’s address for her but that i don’t feel comfortable logging into the system of my old job from home 4. Song you listened to: I’ve had Dark Blue on repeat a lot lately (Jack’s Mannequin) it’s my silverflint song. So probably that. 5. Time you cried: Earlier today while doing Damien’s dream daddy route. I’ve so far only cried during his and Robert’s. I cry about everything.

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: nope 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: nah not really. 8. Been cheated on: i almost said no bc i care so little i forgot but yeah quite extensively. 9. Lost someone special: who hasn’t done that thing? 10. Been depressed: like last week. 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: most recently out the window of a moving car while the guy behind us yelled “pussy!” at me and I flipped him off while still puking. LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12. orange 13. purple 14. red IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: ye! 16. Fallen out of love: nah 17. Laughed until you cried: probably 18. Found out someone was talking about you: nah but i bet they are. little shits. 19. Met someone who changed you: mmmmm not really im consistently a garbage 20. Found out who your friends are: no n that sounds scary. 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: ye GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: p much all? i think? i’ve at least met in person anyway. 24. Do you want to change your name: haha dying is easier 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: my gotdamn sister bought me a cabin for a weekend. nice. 26. What time did you wake up: like 2. 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: crying bc ddadds got delayed again. 28. Name something you can’t wait for: someone to hire me. 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: i was 7 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: wish i’d chosen an apartment over moving in w/ my sister. don’t tell her that she’ll take it wrong. 31. What are you listening right now: my sister’s shitty kitten bite stuff she’s not supposed to bite. 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: idfk. 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: drivers not signaling. people who don’t like john silver. 34. Most visited Website: probably this blue hell. or twitter, lately. 35. Mole/s: idk i don’t think so what even is a mole??? i like the rodents. 36. Mark/s: i got freckles in lots of places. not like the good kind that are everywhere in abundance but just like scattered about in a few places. 37. Childhood dream: police officer 38. Haircolour: fucken red RED R RED !!BLOOD!!! 39. Long or short hair: don’t talk to me abt hair length i have issues. 40. Do you have a crush on someone: nah 41. What do you like about yourself: uhhh i am… fast learner… that was taken off my ‘strengths’ category for interviews 42. Piercings: none. more issues. 43. Bloodtype: good question 44. Nickname: fufu 45. Relationship status: single 46. Zodiac: aries 47. Pronouns: he/him 48. Favourite TV Show: FUCKEN U KNOW WHAT IMMA SAY FOLKS. THOSE BLACK SAILS 49. Tattoos: none but i’ve been thinking about the ones i want recently. 50. Right or left hand: right 51. Surgery: none 52. Hair dyed in different color: my hair was not born this way. 53. Sport: i’d play anything if it was easy and i didn’t have anxiety about literally everything. im fucking good at sports and shit im just bad at life. anyway soccer if i had to choose. 55. Vacation: secluded cabin. all hiking. no human interaction or public places. 56. Pair of trainers: wat? MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: nothing atm. tragic. 58. Drinking: also nothing 59. I’m about to: idfk answer the next question after that it’s a mystery 61. Waiting for: someone how wants to hire me to call me 62. Want: a job 63. Get married: nah 64. Career: something with money WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: i love me some kisses 66. Lips or eyes: HMMMMMMM idk both good. 67. Shorter or taller: nnn don’t care? 68. Older or younger: still don’t care. 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: ARMS I LOVE ME SOME ARMS 71. Sensitive or loud: not sure what this means but probably loud 72. Hook up or relationship: got neither man lemme just have my cats. hook-up if i had to pick rn. 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant i am Nothing.HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: no wtf why haven’t i done this??? 75. Drank hard liquor: ye but it’s hard and i can barely stand how it tastes. 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: don’t have any 77. Turned someone down: sure???? 78. Sex in the first date: no again why haven’t i done this ?? my life reads like a… christian or some shit ew. 79. Broken someone’s heart: probably not 80. Had your heart broken: not in a relationship way but in a someone-betrayed-me-in-a-way-i-never-foresaw-and-changed-my-view-of-them-and-myself-forever way. we love dashes. 81. Been arrested: nah 82. Cried when someone died: yeah 83. Fallen for a friend: nah DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: sometimes. not often. 85. Miracles: cute but not really 86. Love at first sight: cute but not really 87. Santa Claus: absolutely 88. Kiss on the first date: uh, yeah? 89. Angels: no fuck that OTHER: 90. Current best friends name: aerin/JiRa 91. Eyecolour: idk like green 92. Favorite movie: black sails s01e01 no i didn’t do this whole thing just to answer the last question that way. im tagging uh... mutuals but they don’t gotta do it. pbvs. doubt i’ll find 20. @filmgoldlesbians @crystallisedrain @asexualsanji @samhound  @dearestfreckledginger @gaygingerpirates @husbandpirates @knownasemrys @miragu @lukearnold @anarfea ​

im positive i missed some probably some people i’ve even talked to but im a tired and i didn’t remember how some people’s urls actually went @whxlebones TOO I KEPT TRYING TO PUT AN A INSTEAD OF AN X while tryna tag you

[cactii-studies]

I was tagged by @omuii​! Thank you so much! I know it’s taken me a while to do this, but dang I’m pumped!

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

LAST:

1. Drink: Cold tea. Is it possible to live in Japan and have your last drink be anything other than tea?? 2. Phone call: I actually just talked to my dad for 45 minutes. I haven’t been making many phone calls lately though, since I’m on exchange. 3. Text message: I was texting a friend of mine, and we were talking about missing our cats when we’re away from home, and I said, “Ikkkkk such cute dorks” in reference to cats. 4. Song you listened to: “A Whole New World” from Aladdin, since Disney is really popular in Japan, and it was on in the car. 5. Time you cried: I have no idea. I was a bit homesick on Friday, and teared-up a bit, but didn’t actually cry.

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: I’ve never dated anyone, let alone twice. 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: No, I’ve never kissed anyone either. 8. Been cheated on: Once again, I’ve never been with someone in the first place. 9. Lost someone special: Yeah, my pets. 10. Been depressed: I used to be, but not anymore. 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: No, I’ve never been drunk.

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: Napier green, Oxford blue, bright orange.

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: Yes. I started a new school, and I’m in Japan now, so I’ve made new friends. 16. Fallen out of love: I was never in love to fall out of. 17. Laughed until you cried: Definitely . 18. Found out someone was talking about you: Haven’t we all?? 19. Met someone who changed you: Yes. 20. Found out who your friends are: Yes. 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Back at it again with never kissing anyone lol.

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: I have about 60 friends on Facebook, and I know all but one of them irl. 23. Do you have any pets: I have three cats and three dogs. 24. Do you want to change your name: No, I really like my name. 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: My family and I played board games, and just chilled around the house, and then went out for Japanese food for dinner. 26. What time did you wake up: I woke up at 6:00 in the morning, because I had school. 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: I was uploading pictures from my trip to Tokyo, from my phone, onto my computer. 28. Name something you can’t wait for: College in Japan. 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: At the airport exactly 14 days ago, before I left for Japan. I really, really miss her. My mom and I are so so close. 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: Does being able to live in Japan long-term count?? 31. What are you listening to right now: My air conditioner. It’s so loud omg. 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: My dad’s name is Tom haha. 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: Honestly nothing?? Japan is so stress-free and laid-back. I couldn’t be happier. 34. Most visited websites: Tumblr, AO3, and YouTube.

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME 35. Mole/s: I don’t have any moles, just freckles that never go away. 36. Mark/s: I have a bunch of scars because I was am very clumsy.  37. Childhood dream: To own a bunch of cats. 38. Hair color: Light brown. 39. Long or short hair: I used to have hair that touched the backs of my knees, but now it swings above my shoulders. 40. Do you have a crush on someone: Honestly I have no idea. I’m still deciding. 41. What do you like about yourself: My intelligence. I’m chronically ill, and can’t rely on my physical strength for much. Because of this, I really focus on academics, and it’s an area that I achieve in.  42. Piercings: Each earlobe is pierced once. Unfortunately, I have a metal allergy, so I never wear earrings.  43. Blood type: I don’t know, but I really want to know. 44. Nickname: Trash. 45. Relationship status: Single. 46. Zodiac: I’m a Capricorn, and I fit pretty much every stereotype. 47. Pronouns: She/her. 48. Favorite TV Show: Does Aldnoah.Zero count?? Either that, or Magi.

49. Tattoos: None. I don’t want any either. 50. Right or left hand: I’m right-handed. 51. Surgery: I had jaw surgery a few years ago, plus an endoscopy when I was really little, and a colonoscopy last year, if those count. 52. Hair dyed in different color: I sprayed it black for a day in 8th grade for Halloween, but that’s it. 53. Sport: Like I mentioned earlier, I can’t play sports anymore. However, I ran track for three years in middle school. 55. Vacation: Japan will always be my dream trip. 56. Pair of trainers: I’m assuming this is the same things as sneakers?? I don’t really wear sneakers, since I don’t play sports. I wear Vans pretty much every day though.

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: I’m casually snacking on Cheez-Its right now, because I was craving junk food. 58. Drinking: Cold tea. 59. I’m about to: Write postcards to my friends and family. 61. Waiting for: College and dinner, because I really love Japanese food. 62. Want: To live in Japan. I’ll never shut up about how amazing it is here. 63. Get married: Getting married is quite possibly the worst thing I can imagine putting myself through. I’m aromantic af, so I can’t stand the thought of it. 64. Career: I’d love to be a literary translator. Ideally from Japanese to English.

WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: Hugs, because I don’t like kissing. 66. Lips or eyes: Eyes, because there are so many colors and shades of them. 67. Shorter or taller: I’m pretty short, so I like it when people are taller than me. 68. Older or younger: For me, it’s maturity that matters, not age. I’m really mature for my age, so I enjoy talking with people who are mature as well.  70. Nice arms or nice stomach: I don’t have a preference. 71. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive. I’m very skittish around loud noises, so I don’t like people who are very loud. However, my best friend is insanely loud, so someone please explain how that happened. 72. Hook up or relationship: Neither. 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: In the words of @omuii, “i’m a hesitant trouble-maker”

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a Stranger: No. 75. Drank hard liquor: Yes. 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: I’ve never lost my glasses, but I regularly drop my contacts when taking them out/putting them in. 77. Turned someone down: Yes. 78. Sex on the first date: NO. 79. Broken someone’s heart: I don’t know. 80. Had your heart broken: No. 81. Been arrested: No. 82. Cried when someone died: Yes. 83. Fallen for a friend: No.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: Yes. 85. Miracles: Yes. 86. Love at first sight: No. 87. Santa Claus: Kind of. Logically, no. However, part of me enjoys making cookies for him (and then eating them). 88. Kiss on the first date: No.

OTHER: 90. Current best friend name: Alex and Kathryn. 91. Eye color: Light blue. 92. Favorite movie: The Road to El Dorado.

NOW, TAG 20 PEOPLE:

@uni-venture | @bluewire13 | @jadainjapan | @naomi-in-italy | @mariainswitzerland | @ghostieviolinist | @studykouffee | @studykookies | @searchingfortherightword | @yo--kan | @sungjonghyun | @psyduckstudies | @swanstudies | @riblr | @miisticats | @studywithbread | @american-girl-in-a-belgian-world | @therenoplaceforus | @glowskis

As usual, please don’t feel obligated to do this! Only do it if you’d like :) 

[antiiva]

tagged by @scattycathy, tyvm~~

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people. (20? rly? nah)

LAST…

Drink: water

Phone call: uh a few weeks ago with @a-g-u-s-tea-d

Text message: also @a-g-u-s-tea-d because i’m guessing this excludes skype and kik and whatnot

Song you listened to: mmmm i don’t remember back to last night. something by tomppabeats

Time you cried: few weeks ago

HAVE YOU…

Dated someone twice: n.....o

Kissed someone and regretted it: not really

Been cheated on: nope!

Lost someone special: lost someone as in dying?? or much more mundane??? the former, no, the latter, yes

Been depressed: ya

Gotten drunk and thrown up: nope, thank god. alcohol tastes icky too lmfao

Made new friends: mhm!

Fallen out of love: yep

Laughed until you cried: yeah, i watch those ‘try not to laugh’ challenges just so that i can laugh is that sad

Found out someone was talking about you: mm yup

Met someone who changed you: i think so?

Found out who your friends are: found that out about a month and a half ago actually

Kissed someone from your Facebook list: i don’t use facebook

Kissed a stranger: nope

Drank hard liquor: noooo

Lost glasses/contact lenses: only for brief stretches

Turned someone down: yep

Sex on the first date: uh,, no

Broken someone’s heart: ? idk

Had your heart broken: meh. not sure

Been arrested: naah

Cried when someone died: there hasn’t been a whole lot of that in my life yet so nah

Fallen for a friend: *laughter in the distance* yeh

Kissed on the first date: technically haven’t been on a “““first date”””

GENERAL

List 3 favorite colors: yellow, orange, red

How many Facebook friends do you know in real life: n/a

Do you have any pets: not anymore

Do you want to change your name: uhhhhh, not anymore

What time did you wake up: twenty minutes ago, so about 7

What were you watching at midnight last night: arrested development

Name something you can’t wait for: graduation? oh, sooner than that? breakfast

When was the last time you saw your mom: like ten minutes ago but she was asleep

What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: my ability (read: inability) to handle my emotions. why do they vanish sometimes. where are they going. come back

What are you listening to right now: tea for two by django reinhardt

Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I assume so

Something that is getting on your nerves right now: the giant accounting assignment looming over my head

Most visited website: tumblr, yt, or my school website

Mole/s: i think the ‘freckle’ on my palm is actually a mole

Mark/s: a smattering of freckles and a handful of scars

Childhood dream: leaving society lmfao

Do you have a crush on someone: almost always

What do you like about yourself: my self-awareness? also my hair

Piercings: only one so far (that will change bc i want More)

Blood type: A+, like my grades

Nickname: @marythecloud94 has taken to given me tons of nicknames, i remember sunshine, pumpkin, sweet pea....... it cute

Relationship status: single

Zodiac: aquarius

Pronouns: they/them for right now

Favorite TV show: haikyuuuuuu!!!! also bungou stray dogs, my hero academia, yuri on ice, hunter x hunter, oh i should stop now

Tattoos: none yet

Right or left hand: right!

Surgery: none!

Hair dyed in different color: i’ve had a bunch of temporary colors and semi-permanent red and dark green (that sort of turned out bluish lol)

Sport: track, cross-country, swimming when i was younger, tennis, fencing (which was fun af), archery, a handful of others. nothing rn though

Vacation: is this vacations been on, or vacations to be had?? 0-0

Pair of trainers: yes

Current and all-time best friend name: i’m guessing three of my closest friends will read this, so, pass. @a-g-u-s-tea-d was my first Big Friend tho

Eye color: light bluish-grey

Favorite movie: ? JUST ONE??? i refuse. 

WHICH IS BETTER?

Hugs or kisses: they’re equally great

Lips or eyes: eyes

Shorter or taller: both

Nice arms or stomach: both

Sensitive or loud: idk. i’m sort of loud but i have no preference

Hook up or relationship: relationship

Troublemaker or hesitant: again, dude, both. but troublemaker tbh

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

Yourself: heck ye

Miracles: not really no

Love at first sight: attraction at first sight? totally. love? no way. that’s literally judging a book by its cover, you have no idea what this person is actually like on the inside

Santa Claus: ? no

i’ll try to tag some mutuals i usually don’t (apart from a couple that i tag everything in lmfao): @queen-of-moon-and-stars | @raplegendwonho | @a-g-u-s-tea-d | @marythecloud94 (you said you were in the mood to do tags lol) | @shipeo | @moimin | @rosecahstles | @lovedbythesunn | @lattebf

[professor-abeloved]

RULES: FINISH THESE 92 STATEMENTS AND TAG 20 PEOPLE.

Got meme’d on tagged by my homie @principal-mc !! thanks bud i love youuuu <3

THE LAST:

1. Drink: c2 lemon 2. Phone call: my mom 3. Text message: my best friend @rpgskill <3 4. Song you listened to:  Mahiwagang Puso from the Encantadia 2005 OST 5. Time you cried: uh, yesterday

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: nah  7. Kissed someone and regretted it: nope 8. Been cheated on: hindi 9. Lost someone special: er no 10. Been depressed:  always yeah 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: drunk yes, thrown up no

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12. purple!! it’s always been my favorite hehe 13. mint green 14. blue

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: yup both on here and irl! i love you guys!! 16. Fallen out of love: no... i’ve fallen out of my qp feelings tho if that counts? 17. Laughed until you cried: yES oh my god i always tear up if i laugh too hard 18. Found out someone was talking about you: yeah. 19. Met someone who changed you: “everyone you meet changes you for better or for worse… change is continuous and inevitable so this is a given” <- couldn’t have said it better myself @principal-mc 20. Found out who your friends are: yup, i did when they were there for me/tried to be there for me.  21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: dein

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: about 90%? my account is personal kasi. although i do have some friends that i added for ~fb games~ when i was 10... and some people that added me because we have 100+ mutual friends. okay actually, sometimes i randomly add cute people that fb suggests for me to see if they’ll respond and they do!! i find it funny HAHA and then months later i find out they go to a different university or even a different country... 23. Do you have any pets: ish? my family has pet dogs in the province, though we used to have a lot of fish and rabbbits 24. Do you want to change your name: yep! someday i’ll find a way to make the name-changing process easier in the Philippines, I promise. 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: uh had an anxiety attack because there was block drama and i didn’t know what to do when inviting my blockmates out lol 26. What time did you wake up: 12:13 PM 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: posting the amazing art i had commissioned from Millerizo aka Mod Ton from Buhay Kolehiyo!! i’m in love with her art, i swear. 28. Name something you can’t wait for: to fix my damn bank account lol 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: an hour ago? 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: me HAHAHA uh fuck, my hang-ups and flaws i guess 31. What are you listening right now: the television 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: 707′s neighbor Tom? actually wait i think I have a niehgbor named Tom omg 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: “Pixelberry’s writing team” ...actually same, Zee. honestly i’m so disappointed. 34. Most visited Website: Tumblr 35. Mole/s: On my right thigh and left shoulder lmao 36. Mark/s: uh i got a lot of stretchmarks on my thighs and stomach 37. Childhood dream: becoming a superhero. tbh it’s a work in progress, there’s gotta be a radioactive spider here somewhere... 38. Hair color: brown with blond hightlights 39. Long or short hair: short!! 40. Do you have a crush on someone: sighs yes and he doesn’t go to my uni anymore :^( 41. What do you like about yourself: my writing!! 42. Piercings: my ears are pierced 43. Blood type: A positive walang aayaw 44. Nickname: El/L/Elle  you spell it however you want haha 45. Relationship status: single but married to about a billion fictional characters 46. Zodiac: Virgo~ 47. Pronouns: they/them, he/him, she/her it i’m cool with them all since i’m bigender lol 48. Favorite TV Show/s: Steven Universe, Brookline 99, HIMYM, Encantadia (2005 and 2016 huhu i miss it so much) 49. Tattoos: waley 50. Right or left hand: right 51. Surgery: i’m actually gonna have an operation for my wisdom teeth on Thursday haha pls pray for me 52. Hair dyed in different color: er highlights count right? though i do plan to dye it purple 53. Sport: i don’t... do sports though i hope to do arnis or something with swords in the future! 55. Vacation: YES PLEASE. technically im having it right now though we have a project to submit tomorrow 56. Pair of trainers: oh they’re like rubber shoes? i think well yeah i have like 3 pairs

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: siomai and cheese sticks! 58. Drinking: c2 pa rin mga ulol 59. I’m about to: start on that letter to pb bc really wtf. 61. Waiting for: him lol charot. actually i am waiting for maxwell to be an LI so?? 62. Want: peace and happiness for the world 63. Get married: um it’s not in my plan but if a future partner wants to and/or if there are tax benefits then sure? 64. Career: student po 65. Hugs or kisses: hugs!! 66. Lips or eyes: eyes eyes baby 67. Shorter or taller: can they be the same height? i’m 5 feet tall so most people are taller than me anyway 68. Older or younger: er older? 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: i only have one weakness, the kryptonite to my superman, the one thing that turns me into a puddle on the floor... biceps 71. Sensitive or loud: tbh both. like i’d say loud but i also need someone sensitive because i’m shit at expressing myself 72. Hook up or relationship: i’m grayro ace buddy so neither. 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker lmao. pranksters are cute (as long as the prank doesn’t harm anymore/make them uncomfortable) and yes troublemakers for the oppressive system make my heart go boom <3

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: ew 75. Drank hard liquor: not yet 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: dude i lost my right contact lens during a math review and i kind of stopped wearing them 77. Turned someone down: ...yes. more times than i’d like. 78. Sex in the first date: L O L 79. Broken someone’s heart: i hope to god not 80. Had your heart broken: i wouldn’t know, i don’t have one 81. Been arrested: nah 82. Cried when someone died: yes. 83. Fallen for a friend: uh do QP feelings count as falling? because if so yes.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: someday, i hope to 85. Miracles: yup! 86. Love at first sight: no. i believe in attraction at first sight, but not love 87. Santa Claus: yeah, it killed me when i found out my mom was writing those letters to santa. it was funny though because one time i asked who santa was, and they gave me a 9 page research of the origin of santa HAHAHAH 88. Kiss on the first date: uh if i like them enough and if they initiate, maybe 89. Angels: yes zee is an angel <3 all of you reading this are angels too <3

OTHER:

90. Current best friend’s name: kristi 91. Eyecolor: hazel brown/light brown with dark flecks 92. Favorite movie: Ghostbusters 2016!! watched it thrice hehe. oh and i recently watched kubo and the two strings and fell in love <3

Tagging: @quinnskelly @mirasols @mewly/@molliartsie @lanapowellblog @ladyashtonofcordonia @grimdarkpixels @keephollywoodweird/@gunfawkes @hollyashton @jebsplayshss/@spacetravels @sarcasticchoices @andythenerdyfriend @ohmymaxwell​ @kittenmusicals​ @rr-roe-es​ @maxwellbeauxmont​ @mermadeheart​/@pixelberry-pippa​ @danielnelsen @evapaw-of-thunderclan @lifeof314universe @craighsiao and anyone else who wants to do this!!

[studyoing]

question tag thing

tagged by @studywithbread thankyou soosos much!!

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

LAST:

1. Drink: hot chocolate 2. Phone call: grandma 3. Text message: ‘WOW’ from my friend bc i ditched science excursion to catch up on much needed schoolwork whoops (and i was a bit sick anyway so) 4. Song you listened to: listening to taken for a fool by the strokes rn but the laast one dræem girl by no vacation i think? 5. Time you cried: a few days ago bc i missed the bus (i hate getting dropped of by my mum?? idk why?? think bc i feel self conscious walking into school when there are lots of people but other than that i dont cry v easily

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: nope 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: on the cheek & not really? it was year 1 8. Been cheated on: apparently my grade 1 bf cheated on me jerk 9. Lost someone special: yup 10. Been depressed: yup 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: nope

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: blue, green, orange/yellow

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: yeah i’m pretty sure! 16. Fallen out of love: idk what ““““love”“““ is so  17. Laughed until you cried: yes but it’s kind of scary hysterical crying laughter so  18. Found out someone was talking about you: yea this girl my group is friends w straight up said she hated me sosos much in grade 8 & 9 (reminds me of the fact a lot actually thanks) 19. Met someone who changed you: yep, both bad n good but mostly bad 20. Found out who your friends are: nope! 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: nope

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: i don’t have fb anymore but when i did, like 99% of them 23. Do you have any pets: 2 cats & a dog 24. Do you want to change your name: nah my name is ok  25. What did you do for your last Birthday: man i can’t remember.. o wait i went to the movies and literally 1/4 of the ppl i invited showed up and noone from my current group hahahhgashgfsdjggkd  26. What time did you wake up: a little before 9?  27. What were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping i think 28. Name something you can’t wait for: leaving school & moving byebye 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: a few hours ago 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: my looks? might actually have decent friends orrr like... mental health OR grades 31. What are you listening to right now: no music, but my fan is on and sometimes the cars outside are loud enough to hear 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yes a few 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: stepdad 34. Most visited websites: tumblr and uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh netflix

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME 35. Mole/s: yeah a few 36. Mark/s: a cat scratch that will probably be there forever 37. Childhood dream: when i was a kid and we had that ‘write down what u wanna be and paint a picture’ thing in kindergarten i drew a person and wrote ‘i want to be a person’ and tbh... me 38. Hair color: light brown? ‘brown like u rolled in mud’ 39. Long or short hair: on me or someone else? both is cute 40. Do you have a crush on someone: kind of idk  41. What do you like about yourself: uh. long eyelashes 42. Piercings: probably not 43. Blood type: idk man 44. Nickname: ains and uhhh well my grade 8 history teacher still calls me ash bc he’s convinced my name is ashley 45. Relationship status: single 46. Zodiac: libra 47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favorite TV Show: uhhh freaks and geeks or scrubs or futurama or lots

49. Tattoos: none and idk if i’d ever be able to commit to one so!

50. Right or left hand: right handed but hopefully ambi one day?? 51. Surgery: never thankfully 52. Hair dyed in different color: nope 53. Sport: none but definitely wanna do a martial art does that count 55. Vacation: not really besides school trip to germany and a few close to home 56. Pair of trainers: uhh u mean my favourite?? probably my breaking black n white nikes theyve taken me to germany and singapore and like everywhere else

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: bagel crisps rn aka my favourite thing 58. Drinking: nothin 59. I’m about to: finish a poem 61. Waiting for: dinner i guess 62. Want: to finish my english speech 63. Get married: maybe?? (if i even can) but like idk... marriage seems so final lol 64. Career: uhhhhhhhhh legit no idea

WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: idk but hugs r nice 66. Lips or eyes: lips? i dont pay much attention to eyes so lips i guess 67. Shorter or taller: depends but i wouldn’t wanna date any guy shorter than me :/ 68. Older or younger: uhh i’ve only ever dated guys younger than me bc theyve always been in my grade and i was kept down so younger than everyone else but i’ve almost dated a few older guys it’s ntb 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: uhh idk i don’t like either of mine 71. Sensitive or loud: sensitive 72. Hook up or relationship: relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: uh idk a bit of both

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a Stranger: nope 75. Drank hard liquor: nope 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: yep 77. Turned someone down: yep 78. Sex on the first date: nope 79. Broken someone’s heart: apparently 80. Had your heart broken: i don’t think so  81. Been arrested: nope 82. Cried when someone died: yah 83. Fallen for a friend: probably

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: no im the most unreliable 85. Miracles: i guess 86. Love at first sight: uhh idk man....there was this cute guy at fish n chip shop once....... 87. Santa Claus: nope 88. Kiss on the first date: yeah i guess so depends

OTHER: 90. Current best friend name: idk anymore 91. Eye color: blue/grey idk depends on how u look at it 92. Favorite movie: no idea but i liked a bunch of childhood movies and i like... actually maybe secret life of walter mitty 

NOW, TAG 20 PEOPLE:

sorry i keep tagging u guys in stuff u dont have to do it @coffeeandnotes @honestlysstudying @blood--pixels @takenotesforyourlife @peachnotebook  @academic-moon @studyingisabella @skiesandjournals @goghstudies i can’t really think of anyone else but feel freeee