#HES KINDA SHITTY AND THATS OKAY

[madame-mongoose]

Do you also think it's crazy that after Wheatley becomes head honcho of Aperture he desperately tries to prove everyone wrong despite probably knowing deep down in his code that he WAS in fact designed to be a genuine-fied moron, but he has to prove that he is better than the code, that he is above the parameters he was essentially born with but in the process loses the people he could feel that satisfaction of disproving someone and quickly tries to concoct creatures to satisfy these new itches but it never quite satisfying, never quite succeeding and thus just permeates the ideology of him being a moron for trying in the first place?

Goddd yes. All the fucking time dude. His spiral is so fucking captivating to me. Like finally having that power over people. Finally being able to prove himself. Like the dialogue where he signifies how small Chell is. Or calls himself "tiny little wheatley"

Like it's so SO obvious how badly insecure he is. He knows what he is. That's what he was made for, that's what everyone told him. He has such a fragile inflated ego to protect himself. Like not to mention the way he twists events in his head so he has someone to blame. Pushing words and actions onto Chell so he doesn't have to come to terms with the fact that he IS a screw up. God. God fucking damn it drives me up the wall.

That's why people who say wheatley was always a saint or whatever until he was corrupted by the facility drive me crazy. It removes all the nuance and genuine tragedy of his character. He was ALWAYS a bit of a dick. He was always neglectful and never cared much about your well-being outside of your ability to help him. Being given control for once in his life. Not fearing that every little thing he does will kill him. Having power when he once was so powerless. Of course it amplifies his bad traits of course it drives him mad. He's so fucking pathetic it's sickening. I love him

[kuwupikaa]

Looking through musical tags and saw people saying dear Evan hansen is bad because Evan is a bad person? Like isnt that the point? What he does isnt good and he pretends to be this perfect guy for others and mostly to convince himself that what he's doing is genuinely a good thing while deep down he knows its not and that someday he'll have to come to terms with the consequences of his actions. Like yeah I understand if you don't like the musical yknow like what you want but genuinely thinking it's bad?

[hecksupremechips]

I think the best way to describe my feelings about aini is like if you were craving this specific meal from some distant restaurant you haven’t been to in ages and you try to replicate it on your own and it actually tastes decently good but then you get to eat the original again and you’re like “oh god what the hell I’ve been making garbage this whole time why did I think I could beat the original”

[strangersynth]

i enjoy s3 what can i say

[prisonguards]

Last Life scardubs video but theyre toxic. sorry.

[abby420]

there is something so painful about someone being mean to you when you have been nothing but kind and genuine and good to them

[chronicallyblyrie]

Pjo ep 7 spoilers again

Okay here's the thing that really got me with this episode, we know that when you burn the food you like most thats how the gods know you mean it and they'll listen to you. Sally burns a milkshake and this led us to think we'd just get a scene of Sally praying to Poseidon asking for help or guidance or something BUT HE JUST PULLED UP. Poseidon cares so fucking much about Sally and Percy that he showed up in person just to talk to her. Obviously Poseidon is still a shitty dad like pretty much all of the gods, BUT HE ACTUALLY KINDA CARES AND ITS SHOWING!! he cares so much about them that he makes a point to see her in person so she knows for a FACT that he is listening to her and that she isn't just saying words and hoping he hears them. These two are so tragic I cant do this.

[its-your-mind]

This is a call to action for all the PJO girlies (gender neutral) that I know are sleeper agents on this webbed site

Go read Trials of Apollo. Go do it. Do it right now.

I know what you’re thinking. “Tbh I didn’t love Rick’s writing towards the end of Heroes of Olympus” “There’s no Percy so why bother” “All of the Argo II crew are kinda OOC” and listen my friends. You are so valid to have those opinions. I felt the same way after Blood of Olympus. But listen to me. Look at me.

Now that you have had some time away, you must give these books another try. For me. For Uncle Rick. For the demon baby grain spirit who is only able to say his own name (Peaches).

Do not worry friends, I do not expect you to read just based on my say-so - I also provide:

A list of reasons why you (yes you) should go read the Trials of Apollo series right now gogogo:

(Spoiler warning - all broad plot things that you learn early on, but I know some people (including me) avoid that shit at all costs)

All the chapters are titled in bad haiku. Ya know that one scene in Titan’s Curse where Apollo just starts reciting apropos of nothing? That’s every chapter title. They’re all so bad it’s amazing.

Apollo is so up his own ass about everything, and it’s so cool to experience the same world through the eyes of someone who is not used to being in amongst the chaos

Oh yeah the plot. That’s a reason to read it.

Okay so

Basically Zeus continues his streak of being a shitty shit parent and decides to blame like… every bad thing that has happened on Apollo, and punish him by turning him mortal and enslaving him to a demigod girl named Meg who is a garbage gremlin with a little demon baby guard named Peaches (see above)

And like the A plot is they gotta save the oracles from shitty old Romans who wanna take over the world (stop me if you’ve heard this one before)

But like the B plot is about what it means to discover that you’ve fucked up, you’ve made mistakes, you’ve hurt people, and you gotta fucking own up to that shit

But also

You do not deserve to be punished for every horrible thing that has ever happened because of you, or even around you, and when a parental or authority figure in your life tells you that, they are an abuser and they are wrong

And yet

It can be so hard to fully separate yourself from them. Because for so long, they were all you had.

But that’s okay, because when you start to learn that the people who were supposed to care for you and love you were not actually doing that, there are people around you who will love you, who will support you, who will pick you up and hold you close and make sure you know that you are okay

And they can’t fix you

But they can give you the safe space to fix yourself

hmm that was an essay about themes and metaphors BUT THATS WHY YOU SHOULD READ IT

also there’s a wikipedia arrow who only speaks in Elizabethan prose (in all caps)

OH ALSO ALSO you get to see Will and Nico being a CUTE AS FUCK couple in the first book. Nico smiles. Also makes skeletons grow out of the ground when people annoy him. Fuck I love this little gay death boy so much.

AND. You get to see so MANY of your old friends. And they still! Get! Plot! And! Character! Development!! Even though they are only there for a little bit

OH OH OH there are two old lesbians who run a halfway house for people who are tangled up in magic shit with nowhere else to go

Did I mention Peaches? I did. He’s my favorite.

OH ALSO. This is “unreliable narrator” executed SO FUCKING WELL. Like, all narrators are unreliable. But Apollo used to be a FUCKING GOD. He has not had to deal with the reality of death all that much. He’s used to people praising his name and bowing down at his feet. But that ain’t happening!! And he is Unhappy about that!! But it also lets there be such a clear juxtaposition between what Apollo believes about himself and about the world and what is really true, which is such a wonderful way to write about recovery from trauma.

Ahem

Anyway it’s just real good Uncle Rick continues to knock it out of the park but he just did something different and we (at least I) needed some space from OG PJO fan brain before I could appreciate how fucking awesome this series is.

OH OH OH and if you like audiobooks Robbie Daymond (hello CR mutuals - yes, this is the one who is our beloved Blue Boi who we (Orym) so desperately need returned) is the audiobook narrator and he is. So fucking good. Absolutely NAILS the dramatic-ass-inner-monologue of this dramatic ass ex-deity. Also nails all the other voices as well. 15/10 audiobook narration I’m lichrally gonna go listen to other books JUST cuz he reads them.

okay why the fuck are you still here. GO. GET THESE BOOKS. If your public library does Libby you can absolutely get them on there. GO FORTH.

[arourasolo]

okay, HEAR ME OUT whiny chan. ik that he’s usually the dominate one but i could imagine his channie side coming out and him being so whiny n stuff while ur jerking and sucking him off

WHINY CHAN MAKES ME SO UGH!!! I started thinking about this when my friend who was just on the other side of the wall to where I has been was working out and let out a weak and exasperated whimper, I was like "THATS WHAT ANON MEANT!!" and grabbed my computer and started writing. I'm thinking that sexually frustrated and overall tired Channie. SORRY IF THIS IS SHITTY OR NOT GRAMMATICALLY ACCURATE I'M DUMB <3 CONTENT WARNING: Smut, jerking off, cum swallowing, sucking off, swears, pet names & nicknames (baby, babe, sweetie, my love), degrading (a little bit), oral (m. receiving), orgasm, handjob, I think that's everything.

GENERAL INFO: established relationship, roommates, reader's features and name are not mentioned or only gently mentioned <3

DISCLAIMER: This story is purely FICTION. It is not a depiction of persons living or dead. I am by no means saying that any of this could/should/would happen to anyone, nor am I saying that these people could/should/would do these things. It's basically a faceclaim for a fictional person when I mention celebs, etc. It's called FAN FICTION because I am the fan writing fiction. Never take anything I write seriously. THANK YOU

This one's kinda short because I'm a failure I rushed it, but at least its content. Enjoy.

!! 18+ MINORS DNI !!

BANG CHAN SMUT - Hands aren't enough. word count: 689

"Fuck..." Chan groans quietly after he finishes himself on his hands.

You were home with him and able to help him get off, sure, but you were sitting at your computer working so much that he didn't get attention from you. He wanted to get off though,e so he took matters into his own hands.

Literally.

He exits the bathroom after a minute and walks into your shared bedroom, only wearing a pair of shorts and no shirt. His chest glistened with sweat as he walks in and lays on the bed, his hard still visible in his pants.

You turn in your rotating office chair to see Chan laying there, looking like a sweaty, tired, frustrated and extremely attractive mess. You notice the bulge in his pants quickly, shutting your computer and clicking your tongue. You sit beside him on the edge of the mattress with an amused smile.

"What's wrong, Channie? Your hands not as good as mine?" You ask with a sarcastic tone.

He only nods his head and lets out a weak hum in response.

"Mm...yeah..." is all he can make out. You chuckle lightly before you slide off the bed to kneel in front of him. He looks down at you, a small smile forming on his pouty lips.

It's not even a few minutes later that you have him practically crying while you slide your hands painfully slowly up and down his shaft.

"Fuck...baby, don't do this...please..." He whimpers, tears pricking the edges of his beautiful eyes.

You smirk up at him, his perfect and handsome features twisted into a face of pleasure and agony at the same time.

"Not yet...don't cum yet sweetie." You say with a smug smile.

You can feel his cock twitch in your palms, his tip an angry red as he's trying his hardest not to give in and let out messy cries and let himself cum. You press your tongue to his tip, taking about a third of his length into your mouth. He can't handle this much teasing. He lets out a louder cry.

"Ah! Baby please...please can I..." He tries to speak between moans and whines. His forehead glistens with sweat, his eyes screwed shut while his puffy lips hang slightly open.

"What a needy boy...crying because his hands weren't as good as mine. You couldn't even make yourself cum, could you?" You ask condescendingly while you take your mouth off his cock, quickly moving your hands up and down it again, then slowing down in an excruciating pattern.

He nods frantically, his hands gripping anything and everything around him. He grabs the bedsheets with a cry.

"N-no...no!" He whimpers again. "No I couldn't...I can't do it like you. Please just let me finish, stop this shit. I need you. Please, my love, please."

His begs are weak and desperate sounding as his breaths are heavy. His whines such music to your ears. You can't keep him in this torturous position for much longer.

You chuckle softly, now keeping your pace on his rock hard dick. "You can't do anything, can you? Pathetic. Just cum then, cum for me and show me how much you love this."

You take him fully in your mouth, his cock twitching in your tight throat as he reaches down and grabs your hair. He bobs you up and down, jerking his hips here and there. In no time at all, you feel the familiar feeling of his warm cum run down your tongue while you hear his desperate moans of pure pleasure. You swallow as much as you can, sliding your lips down him and puckering your lips against his tip, resulting in a pop! as you smirk up at him.

His chest rises and falls in uneven and harsh breaths, his hands still gripping onto the sheets and duvet as if his life depended on it. His eyes open slightly, looking up at you with a soft sigh while you lean over the bed in front of him.

"Oh Channie. If you needed me you could've just told me. What do you need now? Need my pussy?"

[my3rzs]

can i pls request something abt xavier and op who can see people's auras?? like shes new to nevermore and sees everyone's auras changing according to their humor but she just?? cant see xavier's and that bothers her, so she tries to get emotions from him, anger, happiness yk, then idk maybe they go to the raven together and at the end of the night when they finally kiss she can see a bright pink aura around him :]] or whatever way you feel like writing it (you can write reader as GN if you want as well!)

i don’t get it?

pairings: xavier thorpe x reader

summary: you saw everyone’s auras except xavier’s, who knew a kiss could change it

warnings: reader is an asshole, swearing, idk i think thats it

a/n: im sorry this was really shitty, i am more focused on school mostly rn, and this is NOT PROOFREAD, REBLOGS HELP A LOT!

nevermore.

at first you thought you were gonna be an ‘outcast’ at an outcast school, but you made a couple friends, enid, her aura was a bright yellow, probably because she’s always smiling and full of joy, and wednesday who had black, ‘cause she was so mysterious, and had strength. you could see all of your friend’s auras except for xavier, the guy you like, of course it has to be the guy you like.

you were at the quad with ajax, so you told him about it for some help, maybe he knows what to do.

“i just can’t see his aura! and, of course i have to have a crush on him, for god’s sake!” you whined

“maybe, try getting some emotions out, make him happy, sad, whatever” the gorgon said

“thats a great idea, ajax! i owe you for this one!” you say

“y/n- please, don’t go too far on him- hes kinda a sensitive kind of guy, okay?” he says worried

“i’ll try, i’ll make sure hes okay” you gave him a smile as you left the quad

“goodluck!” he screamed

you decided to make xavier happy, the easiest one first so you couldn’t cause any harm, so you decided to do one of his favorite things he does with you, the carnival. good thing it was a friday, so no school tomorrow which is perfect.

classes were finally over, so you could finally try to find xavier.

you ran to him when you saw him in one of the hallways, “xavier! hi! do you maybe wanna do something tonight?” you say

“sure! what do you think we should do?” he looked down at you

“wanna go to the carnival, maybe?” you smiled

“okay then, it’s settled! be there at 6:30 sharp, y/n” he gave you a big smile and patted your head

“see you there, xav!” you walked away and blushed because he patted your head, you kinda felt bad you were kinda forcing him to show emotions.

-

you were scrolling through social media while in bed, seeing your friend’s posts and enid’s new gossip about the school, until you checked the time, it was 5:24PM, so you decided to get ready for your plans with xavier.

you decided to wear pants with a chase atlantic shirt, and you brought a jacket just in case.

“oh my god! y/n, do u have a date?!” enid, your roommate squealed out of excitement

“it’s not a date, idiot, im just hanging out with xavier at a carnival” you say

“just admit it, it is kinda a date, y/n” she smiled

“well i guess- but it’s like a friends kind of date?” you say

“whatever you say, y/n” the werewolf gave you a wink

you rolled your eyes and looked at the time, 5:59PM and decided to text xavier

y/n: hey, is it ok if i come right now? im a bit too early

xavier: uh yeah sure, meet me by the ferris wheel

at the carnival

you walked up to xavier, “hi! what do you wanna do first?” you gave him a smile

“photobooth?” he questioned

“yes!”

you two walked in the photobooth, getting ready for the camera, you both did some funny poses and one where he was looking at you but you were too busy posing to even notice he was looking at you

you guys walked out and grabbed your photos, and saw that he was looking at you in one of the photos, you smiled.

“we look so cool!” you say

“wanna do balloon darts?” he asked

“okay!” you gave him a slight smile

-

you kept missing every dart and it was getting kind of annoying.

“idiot, let me help you” the blonde boy said and grabbed darts

he popped almost every one of the balloons and won a stuffed bear for you.

“thank you” you say.

it was the next day after u hung out with xavier, and you still didn’t see his aura that time. you sighed and saw ajax come up to you.

“anything yet?” he asked

“no, i tried making him happy by hanging out with him” you whined as you covered your face with your hands

“maybe you just need to kiss him” ajax teased

“shut up!” you whispered as you hit him lightly on the hand

“speak of the devil” he gave you a mischievous smirk and walked away when he saw xavier walking your way

“what-“ you got cut off by a tall boy behind you

“y/n! last night was fun, do you maybe wanna go to the weathervane today? we could study there, or i could go on my own?” he gave you a light smile

you wanted to say yes so bad, but you decided to make him jealous today, or mad.

“uh, sorry, no. i have a date with tyler today, maybe tomorrow?” you say nervously

his smile faded when he heard you say the last part, he didn’t really have a good relationship with tyler.

“right, have fun, y/n.” he says and walked away from you

did you go too far? you sighed.

but he mentioned about going to the cafe on his own, and tyler was there. so you decided to go there aswell to meet up with tyler.

at the weathervane

you saw xavier sitting in one of the booths and walked past him as you felt his eyes on you.

you rang the bell and waved to tyler and hugged him.

“hi tyler!” you say energetically

“hi, y/nn!” he says

you could see xavier fuming at your peripheral vision, perfect. but you still couldn’t feel his aura. you looked over to xavier’s booth and saw that he was gone. i guess it really affected him.

2 weeks later

it was 2 weeks after the whole weathervane thing, you didn’t really talk to xavier much because of his jealousy and if you were being honest, you kinda regretted getting xavier’s emotions out of him just so that you can see his aura.

tomorrow was the rave’n, so you and your friends went shopping for your outfits.

you already got yours, but you were missing one thing, a date. you wished xavier was your date right now. but it was not possible. so you just decided to go solo.

-

it was the next day and it was 7:30PM, the rave’n starts at 8 o’clock so you decided to dress up in your outfit already. you met up with your friends downstairs.

“lets go!” enid squealed

you all walked down the stairs and you could feel everyone staring at you, including xavier.

your friends decided to get drinks and dance. while you just sat there all alone. a slow, romantic song started playing. and everyone and their s/o started to slow dance. you sighed but felt a light tap on your shoulder.

“hey, wanna dance?” xavier gave you a smile and held his hand out.

you grabbed his hand and went to a corner, you placed your hands around his neck as he put his around your waist and you two swayed your hips to the music.

“i’m sorry, i only did the whole tyler shit so i could see your aura ‘cause i couldn’t see it, and also because i liked you.” you say

“you’re an idiot, you know that?” he says chuckling

“your idiot, of course” you smile

he cups your face and leans in to kiss you desperately and you kissed him back. you felt a bright pink aura from him, you smiled against the kiss.

------------------------------------------------

I FINALLY GOT THIS DONE HEHEHEHE SEND MORE REQUESTS BTW PLS

[vivgst]

COD Headcanons

I mean they're not hc it's just shit I think they say/do but I needed the title okay?

As I previously said this is just my silly little opinion, I would love to read yours but don't take this too personal and I'm saying this cause Imma bout to write SHIT about two characters and I'm scared cause they're loved by the whole fandom.

Okay thats all thanks<3333

Let's start with my favorite piece of shit, shall we?

Alejandro Vargas

I don't care what yall say this man is a CHEATER and he would make you feel guilty about it too because you're not "meeting his needs".

“I’m not sexist???? We cannot do the same things, it's basic biology!”

Maybe he's good in bed, let's give him that.

Alain meza said he loved Rudy so let's assume he's bi, uh... he wouldn't admit that shit, not in a million years, probably would get offended if you even dare to suggest it.

He doesn’t argue to fix things, he argues to repeat how much in the right he is, I feel like he NEVER admits he’s in the wrong, he seems very stubborn.

Now can we address that fucking temper of his? Breathe mf, no ones gonna die if you stop yelling for a second.

I feel like he must’ve had A LOT of trouble when he just joined the army because of his anger issues, think about it for a moment: someone with a higher rank yelling at him and you think he just took it? I doubt it.

MUST HAVE fought with Valeria more than once cause that temper of hers is just as shitty.

I promise I don’t hate him, well I do but he’s one of my favs, I don’t know how to explain this bye.

Simon Riley

He’s very chill I love him <3

I think of him like a very nostalgic man, he thinks a lot about his past, past lovers, past experiences, when he was new in the army, you know? Not in a “I’m still traumatized” way, he’s just nostalgic.

He’s absent minded, he’s always daydreaming (when he’s not doing something important ofc).

Thin and I don’t fucking care, THAT MAN IS THIN, you can even see it sometimes!!!! He’s got chicken legs, I love them.

He really seems to enjoy dad jokes.

He cares a lot about his teammates and I love it, it’s very cute.

Can we talk about how everyone put him as a fucking beast in bed? I don't see it, I think he's ruthless when he needs to but I don't think this applies when it comes to sex, he suffered a lot too and sadly I know too well that sex is pretty fucking terrible after rape, especially because you feel like you're gonna hurt the person you're having sex with so...

John MacTavish

Typa guy everyone loves, even your dad and your grandma's always saying how handsome he is.

Maybe he was bullied bc of his accent but he just told them to go fuck themselves.

Caring and loving, buys his partner flowers and their favorite candy/chocolates/desserts.

Remembers anniversaries, birthdays, medical or school appointments.

Too charismatic and funny.

Kyle Garrick

He’s too good for his own good… I feel like he always end up going out with INSANE people, the jealous type, they’re always bitching and making him angry and stressed but he forgives them cause he’s an angel.

Very sweet, loves cooking for people he loves.

Kinda family oriented.

He smells good, I can almost smell his perfumeeeeee he smells good, he spends MONEY on it too.

Even the devil is afraid of him when he’s mad.

I think he's very private about his life in general, doesn't like to vent his problems.

Hot lover.

John Price

Now this man is a FATHER, my fucking dad I swear.

He seems pretty conservative to me, not in a bad way like he wants you to be his personal maid and slave, more like he wants to date to marry, hates casual sex.

Loves whiskey.

Dad energy, he would be so caring and loving with his child, he would give that baby the moon.

I don’t think he would love to date a younger woman, not a woman in her twenties at least, I think he would be into women his age.

If you feel disappointment by that, maybe you could try fixing your relationship with your dad, sweetheart ;).

Hates confrontation and loves to work things out.

Let’s not talk about how sex with be with the old man, okay? Thanks.

He's not that old, I get that but he looks like he's fucking 68.

Phillip Graves

He looks kinda daddy in that pic, not gonna lie.

“How come you don’t want to have sex? What about me? Have you thought about how that makes me feel? If your head hurts, sex would help but you never consider me, I’ll sleep in the couch”.

A selfish, self-centered bitch, only thinks about himself.

Feeling good having sex with him? Aw baby, try again cause this mf would use you like a damn toy and he couldn’t care less about your feelings or how much pain you’re in.

Cheater, he wouldn’t even be quiet about it. “Oh you want to divorce me? And where are you gonna go, sugar? You’re nothing without me”.

Doesn’t fucking know where the clit is, he doesn’t have a fucking clue.

Of course straight, loves to be white and American.

“Of course I can say whatever I want, I’m from America I have freedom of speech”.

Fuck you graves.

Rodolfo Parra

Perfect.

He seems so sweet and kind and considerate I love him.

Smart as hell, probably got the best grades when he was a kid.

Doesn’t hate anyone, no one hates him.

Loves nature and animals but he can’t enjoy it too much cause he is always busy.

Dreams about having a big family and a dog (a golden, probably).

Forget about having rough sex UNLESS he’s mad (fr mad like losing his shit but that doesn’t happen frequently).

Could be a teacher if he wasn’t in the army, he’s very patient and can explain things easily.

Have a pretty smile.

Valeria Garza aka MAMI

Feels like she needs to prove something, she was underestimated for so long in the army that now she’s always trying to prove to herself how badass and good at her job she is.

Almost no one knows the real Valeria, her favorite things, music taste, if she prefers cold or hot, coffee or tea etc.

She hates cold weather with all her MIGHT.

Likes to smoke only when she’s stressed.

Likes animals but thinks they’re so much work and she doesn’t have the time.

Did drugs once and hated it.

Feels guilty when she spots a church but she WOULD NEVER admit this shit to anyone.

Used to the worst of life so she didn’t like when someone is kind with her, is like “tf am I supposed to do with it???” but she gets used to it eventually.

I don’t think she has anger issues but def she doesn’t fucking know how to regulate her emotions, she lets stress take over her.

She would love a narcowife, kind of woman who wears a lot of beachy dresses and have a shitty personality like her (like Kate del Castillo in La Reina del Sur or in Bad Boys, exactly that kind of narcowife) (I’m kinda projecting, sorry lol).

I can’t picture her with a sweet girl and I think a sweet girl wouldn’t be able to handle that woman.

She keeps arguing even though she realized she’s in the wrong.

She wouldn't be able to spend a lot of time with her S.O, she's such a workaholic.

I don't think she likes to wear men clothes.

I don't think she hates kids but I can't picture her with kids.

Wouldn't divorce once she's married.

Btw I didn’t want to make this too sexual bc lately this fandom is full of just that, too much smut, too much violence and rape in the smut and it’s so graphic that I feel I’m watching instead of reading wtf, its uncomfortable and I honestly can’t picture the characters being that violent and vile.

As I said in my previous hcs… these guys are surrounded by violence, stress and blood every day, I personally don’t think they wanna get home to torture their partners (well, maybe graves cause he is a piece of shit that mf. Okay kidding, not even Graves is that much of a bastard).

[hecksupremechips]

I always heard people say that Layla should’ve gotten with Warren Peace instead of Will in sky high but guys come on it’s 2023 we all all know she and warren were just bearding for each other I’m sick of pretending they weren’t

[banamine-bananime]

AITA for trying to save my friend and keep the rest of my asshole friends safe from their bad decisions?

I (M26) just went through this real shitty breakup. So basically, my ex C (M lmao man fuck if i know his age idek if knows it. or has one i guess) has this god-fucking-awful habit of deciding to solve every problem by dying about it and/or fucking off without so much as a word to the people unfortunate enough to give a shit about him, except maybe his sister (unhelpful for the rest of us because she also inherited the "fucking off without a word" gene. man fuck this whole family for making me care about them. whatever). Also, killing himself inside peoples brains thats like a whole hobby for him. like okay either ghost us OR kill yourself in front of us altering the trajectory of our lives forever PICK ONE like a NORMAL person.

Okay wait im not explaining this well. So years ago C and W (M37 now) were partners but C was, uh, in a really bad place mentally (S is telling me this is more diplomatic to say than "crazy af") and that situationship ended as badly as a situationship can end. I mean W's told me he pretty much had his sense of identity as someone separate from C totally destroyed by that for a while, which like, in hindsight its kinda an accidental dick move that our team made him take C's legal identity, but in our defense a) the fuck were we supposed to know?, b) tbf he really did need it not to go back to prison, c) it's not like C was using his identity, on account of the fucking off and effectively-dying-as-a-solution habits, and d) i mean. i gotta admit it's also pretty funny in a really fucked way.

aw shit derailed on a tangent again

recently its just like, we just get so focused on one thing its hard to remember anything else, you know?

S is so good at getting us back on track though. thank god because you would not believe the number of irons weve got in the fire to keep track of, its ridiculous. (i love making my partner be the planner in the relationship lol. highly recommend being a passenger princess in the body sometimes. fuck massages, i'm telling you THIS is what you need after a long day getting shit DONE and taking care of everyone else's messes)

So I met C 6 years ago, right out of basic, when we were privates stationed at the same base. middle of nowhere. shit, this is gonna be hard to explain, just realized i should use different names for C to keep them straight. I knew "A" and W knew "E", i didnt meet E until years later. theyre alters and also the same guy but also not the same guy. dont worry about it if you dont get it bc ive dated both of them and i dont think i do. my life is stupid.

Bunch of bullshit happened, A ghosted (lol. you'd be high-fiving me if you knew him) and then found a problem to solve by dying. you get it by now.

Then i meet E, E encounters a problem and tries to die about it round one (i guess round two, after exploding in W <- LOL. you should be high-fiving me right now), E's sister drags him back to the land of the living, E ghosts, W and i start dating, W tries to martyr himself and disappears because i guess E rubbed off on him (dude i am on a fucking roll. you should be high-fiving me out of pity for my glamorously miserable soap-opera life if nothing else. homophobic not to), our team gets W back, E strolls back like he has no idea why im mad at him, we fight about it, makeup-makeouts about it, and E tries to die about it round two: in my brain boogaloo.

So thats how S and i meet. oops, guess i never introduced S? Feels weird to have to introduce ourself twice, people dont really meet us separately anymore LOL. S (M, ageless) is also C's alter, my partner in life and badassery and brain and body. and obviously freaky sex stuff, that goes without saying but i'm saying it anyway to brag. the swish swish to my stabbing people who really deserve it. Not really interested in your opinion on our relationship, it's not what i'm asking about. we're aware its not conventional, because we're not fucking braindead. Im so sick of all the "oooohhhhh this isn't healthy", "he's a male manipulator and youre codependent i know bc i learned psychology from tiktoks by girls with green hair", "why are you wearing your ex-boyfriend's armor colors while wearing his dead ex-boyfriend's armor while dating and sharing a brain with your dead mutual ex's alter", "have you considered going to therapy instead of a quest against death itself" blah blah blah. If youre so bored you need to judge our life then just get your own 🙄🙄🙄

we've been really on that sigma grindset the last few weeks. S has got our sleep optimized down to a tight triphasic 3.46 hours and we're minmaxing the fuck out of the rest of every day. Biohacked to shit over here. too much to do, so we have to make there be enough of our time to do it. who else is gonna? my teammates? the REDS? we're half batman half babysitter to a gaggle of idiots who can barely be trusted to wipe their own asses, let alone fight their own battles and make decisions like "wah wah wah A is dead let's just give up and cry about it or whatever".

Don't even get me started on W. Oh youre all about character-building wake up and grind self-improvement and taking leadership until we're making decisions you dont like, i guess. WHATEVER. this is why we dont listen to you.

its hard, okay. like, you cant understand the sheer fucking stress were under trying to keep all our plans going smoothly while keeping these guys safe while they're basically actively trying to unravel every carefully-laid thread and also strangle themselves in them. im probably going prematurely grey and also losing some time. its hard to remember when we need to hold back and use the kiddy gloves. i really didnt want to come to holding - uh, we'll call him MC (M25) - by the throat, passed-out. he's like a brother to me, been through thick and fucking thin together, so yeah, i feel really bad about that, my bad, we were the asshole there, but like, maybe stop throwing yourself in the way? like run out into the road you're gonna get hit by a truck no matter how hard they slam the brakes. mfw the conses quence. but im NOT asking about that. everyone's been on our dick about "please god stop doing all of this" and abandoning A and trying to break us up way before that, and THAT'S what im asking about

Anyways tl;dr are we the asshole for getting shit done when it takes methods that all our monday morning quarterback friends dont like

_____

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:

it really was a dick move to dangle my teammate's limp body in a chokehold even though it was basically an accident and also not even directly relevant to the question

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might not be the asshole:

okay but we're right

[vee-xxo]

☆☆☆- random Katsuki Bakugou relationship headcanons of mine

PART TWO

Since ppl loved the first, here's more only for u 😍😍😍

Right so before u guys start dating this bitch does not know how to flirt

Call him "pretty boy" and he just tells you to shut the fuck up 💀

"Hey hot stuff~" "Eat shit and die."

This also doesnt change when ur dating sry

Except maybe he'll look away a lil shy

BUT THAT DOESNT MEAN HES FLUSTERED OR ANTTHING NOO NO☝️☝️☝️

He does actively like look for u

But he'll be VERY secretive n just so happens to be wherever u go

Not in a stalker kinda way, u know he does it

But god forbid anyone else figure that out

Tbh he's a huge show off

Which is not news at all BUT a big difference for him

Cus when he knows ur watching, in his mind he's all like "😈 muhaha they're losing their shit rn"

& when he's done he'll sideeye the shit outta u just to see if ur blushing or something

Imagine ur just like "🥱🥱"

He explodes

Just falls over & dies lmao

But only emotionally

Outside he'll be like

"Uhh fuckin uh idc uhh I don give a fuck"

But he was lying, he did give a fuck😔😔

HOW DOES HE KISS THO??

Hehe

He doesnt know shit

When u first kiss hes so fucking worried bro omg

Like it's just a lil peck, but uhh

It's probably rlly short

Unless u can keep him calm somehow, then it might actually be kinda nice

He'd last like 5 secs before quickly pulling away

After that he'll just stare at you like

👁👁 (imagine theres angry brows)

It's up to you to say sth cus his mouth is SHUT

Remember how I said hes private w his relationship?

If not, I said it riiiight here ;D

Yea so eventually ppl will know

ESPECIALLY the Bakusquad :DD

KIRISHIMA IS SO HAPPY FOR U GUYS💞💗💝💓💝💗💘💞💝💕💞💘💓💝

He'll be like "THATS acting like a man, Bakugou!" assuming u guys r healthy together ofc

The other three r also happy ofc

But theres one thing they all got on their mind more

"How tf is he dating someone before us??"

Good question tbh

Well it probably went somewhat like this:

"HEY DUMBASS!" You heard, angry footsteps approaching. "Bwuh?" You made a confused noise, turning to see Bakugou, in all his shitty posture. His hands were stuffed in his pockets, elbows locked and his head lowered, making his choppy bangs fall over his eyes. "You..." He rasped out, one hand rising up, pointing a threatening, naked finger directly at you. It seemed as though even the muscles in his fingers had tensed up entirely. 'Oh shit.' You thought to yourself. What did you do now? Did you say something wrong? Teased him one too many times? But your thoughts halted once his hand switched to show his thumb pointing at Bakugou himself. "I'M TAKING YOU TO THE ARCADE! THIS SATURDAY, TWO PM!" He barked out. You could see his face now. His jaw was clenched shut, his teeth pressing together in tension while his red eyes stared seemingly into your soul. Like he was trying to intimidate you, distracting you from what might be the sound of his heart pounding in his chest, like it was about to explode. "Uh." Was your first reaction. "O- Okay?" Was your second. "GOOD." He yelled. Shoving his hand back in his pocket, he turned around, snapping his head back down into its previous position as the stomped off. "DON'T BE LATE!" He added as he fled the interaction.

"Huh." You thought to yourself.

☆☆☆☆☆

HIIIII :DDD Thank u guys SO MUCH for all the support on my previous headcanons! I even added a little scenario for you at the end this time! I hope you enjoyed this post as much as the last! If you did, let me know and I might make a third ;))))❤❤❤

ALSO before I leave, I started writing a Bakugou x y/n slow burn, updates take a while, but I hope I can catch your interest enough to check it out! Thank you so much in advance!! <3333

[ma3mae]

Don't be so annoyed, love!

Summary: He's so annoying sometimes but it's ok because you love him 😭 (HC w/ Dazai, Kunikida, Ranpo)

Genre: Crack, fluff, lowkey suggestive themes

Warnings: 🗿 we ignoring the red flags bc we can. also mentions of farting bc dazai 🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿

A/N: u cant tell me that they wouldnt do any of these things ok 💀also kunikida's got a small drabble out of nowhere but im always wildin when it comes to him 😭😭😭😭😭

Dazai Osamu

u cant tell me that as soon as hes rly comfortable in ur relationship that he WOULD NOT be ashamed of just farting outta nowhere honestly 💀

Like yall r just chilling on the couch, watching smth and he just lets it all out bc why should he hold himself back 🗿

Hes at home 🗿

But bro's lucky he doesnt smell but 🗿🗿🗿🗿 wheres the warning from him

u give him the side eye and hes like "What? Are you perhaps ashamed of human nature, bella?" like ok we'll leave him alone but he ruined the emotional moment of the movie yall were watching 😭😭😭

Is also the type to prob leave his socks and clothes lying around

It got better over time but he still sometimes does it bc old habits die hard i guess 🧍

once got so bad you just collected all of his clothes and put them infront of the door so he'd have no choice but to pick all of that up and do it himself 💀

would try to talk his way out of it in the beginning but also felt kinda bad after the relationship got more and more serious

So now hes a good bf/ husband and does it himself 🤩 (with the occasional sock under the couch 💀)

drinking habits would take a bit longer to be fully gone, he'd learn to regulate it over time

He's learned to warn you tho when he thinks that a rly shitty day might hit him bc work and more

sometimes you take the day off and do something together to take his mind off of it

Sometimes you're at work and a "im home" text without hearts will come and you know whats wrong

would feel more comfortable over time letting you take care of him

will definitely show you his appreciation for you the next days in one way or the other 🤩💅

talking about living together, yall would often have to sit down to talk about his spendings bc our man cant save for ANYTHING

Used to often come home with little things like "Look, this reminded me of you!" and it's a plushie of a cat or something

Started off cute and small but got dramatic like him really fast

ngl he came home with a expensive necklace u liked when the both of u went shopping but u didnt buy it bc.. she expensive...

like he was charming as always with his "Tada! Guess what I've got you?~ 😋" ".... Not the necklace...? 😧" "🤩 How did you guess that right, bella??" "😨😨"

THIS man right here wouldnt even hesitate to just right out fking steal shit for you if u want it bc thats how much Power u got over him he'd never admit that tho sksks... OK maybe in bed...

he'd def either blackmail or bribe chuuya into helping him with stealing

probably even has access to his bank account and you'd only realize that when he'd stand infront of your door, asking where that "f*cking b*stard" is

you'd legit have to mediate their convo or else the whole building you live in would be gone immediately skks 💀

Chuuya likes u so he wouldnt make yall pay for it bc he knows that dazai's nearly broke 24/7 and u dont deserve to pay for his fault 💅

it would be enough to destroy his pride to make him obey chuuya for like 2 weeks or sum cue evil cackling from said red head

queen of Gaslightining nr. 1 😭 sometimes its for the dumbest arguments tho like why its okay to smack your lips while eating 😭

"I don't know it's just really noisy and kinda annoying for me?" "But Bella, that shows just how tasty your food is or are going to deny that fact and say that I should not show my appreciation for it? What if for me personally it's a sign of a good meal?" "Yeah but doesnt need to be that for me. Also you can show your appreciation for it in other ways like just simply saying its delicious?"

"But actions speak louder than words, my love." "YEAH, well then what do you want then???"

Its just a whole shit show and would (lmao it WILL) end in him giving you just shameless bedroom eyes and well you know whats gonna be after dinner lmaooo 🤡😭

Also also i do believe that hes not the best cook at first but hes a real fast learner so it prob would only take him a week of consuming cooking videos and reading books and BOOM

"Samu, is this a 3 course meal you're cooking because that's a LOT of ingredients in the kitchen." "Sssh just sit down, wash yourself up and enjoy the evening, my love! I'll call you when I'm done 💕"

Manages to somehow still give you some snacks and drinks in between the cooking 😭 with some sneaked in kisses on your shoulder or lips 😏

If you go and hug him from behind, he'll be MELTING

Like nuzzling your face into his back while wrapping your arms around his torso, you feel the slight rumble in his chest as he chuckles at your cute action 😭

"If you want to eat something then you should take a break from being so cute, you know? Don't want the food to go bad from maybe getting a bit distracted if you stay here for a bit longer." "Ew, are you implying you'd start something infront of our food??"

"... Well, I can just have a whole meal by myself but you'd be left hungry so it's your choice 😋"

🗿 the way he doesnt need long to be turned on is alwaya amazing to u but thats just how whipped he is and bro is a whole snack himself so WHOS complaining 😋💅

food's is guaranteed to taste heavenly but if he knows youve got time, then he'd make excuses to taste your cooking like

"Samu, it's been a while since I've gotten to taste your cooking." "Aww, was it that delicious for you? Hmm but I actually prefer your cooking!"

Time for some cooking and baking lessons together, eoow 💅 with the occasional make out session because the sauce found it's way on your lips and he just had to clean it up with his 😭😋

honestly despite all of some of the difficulties, dazai would never fail in making you feel loved in his own way even tho u gotta peel back some layers 🗿

At the end of the day, his bear hugs and many kisses are smth u love to come back home to after work

also doesnt say it but would def be a house husband for u 🤩 with the occasional "whoops gotta go and do smth quick" text and he comes home at like midnight skks bc the agency needs his cute ass 😋 but dw dinner's ready and house chores have been done so enjoy ur evening after work, zurlie 💅

dont kill me for this but id give him a 7.5/10 😭

Obsessed with him and i love him but it would prob be really really exhausting to get him to FULLY trust you and its honestly understandable

Also he kinda makes me feel like i'd have to walk on eggshells around him because you often dont really know what hes thinking 😭😭

could smile at u while thinking "why u so ugly" 😭😭

also bro is so smooth, its scary like he'd prob make us forget immediately that hes trying to find out everything about us(why he sounding like a stalker 😨😨 wouldnt want him to be MY stalker 😨😨 or would I?? 🤩) MY DELULU BRAIN 👹

Doppo Kunikida

😨 Cleaning maniac

personification of the verse "I can COOk, i can CLEAN" (i know its "dont" instead of can but we all know hes like perfect house husband material... maybe a bit too perfect 💀💀💀👹)

If u forgot a cup on the dinner table, he'd legit take the cup, put it in ur hand and be like "why did u leave it there if u r not using it"

WILL def rant about why u shouldnt do it

Honestly huge nagging mom vibes 💀💀

At the beginning of moving in together, he'd just clean everything without a word whatsoever

Like you wanna help around the house too? NUH UH, he already finished everything up.

Vaccuming the house? Done

Swiping? Lmao be sure to not arrive at home after work around that time bc u gotta stand at the door and WAIT until the floor is dried 💀😭

Dishes have been done like at 5 in the fucking morning 💀👹

Bro thankfully doesn't wash clothes that often (gotta be careful of the water bill 😭) but there r days where he legit throws his clothes nearly everyday bc the worse the mission the more blood yk 🗿🗿

U had to legit drag his ass to the couch to talk to him bc he gonn be deep clean the house if someone doesnt stop him

"Kuni, you literally don't need to do EVERYTHING by yourself! I'm also here to help and frankly, it feels like you're my maid sometimes 😞" " Don't worry. Everything fits perfectly in my time plan and since you sometimes work overtime, it's better if I do a bit more of it."

... "🗿 You are legit saving this city from being destroyed so often and I just sit in the office, bro 🤡" "I understand your argument but I have seen the way you look tired so often so let me take a bit of your burden"

He knows how to make us go "🥺"

The argument prob went on for an hour until yall settled on making a plan on who does what on which days and if someone's gotta work overtime or sum then the other takes a bit of it over and so on

So in the end its alrighty 🎉

Groceries and so on are never a problem except it sometiems turns out like going shopping with your mom because...

"Omg Kuni, look!!" *holds up cute decoration* "We could put this on our dinner table! Isn't it cute 🥺??"

Bro just takes it from you and looks at the price. Legit gives you the 🤨 look

"That's 937,32 Yen (around 6€) 🤨🤨. For a tiny statue of a dog? We could find it somewhere way cheaper." "🥺 But it's a limited edition and it reminds me of you bc its got the same fur color 🥺. It's even got ur glasses on 🥺"

Bro will say no but the day after you spot the dog on the table 🤡

Yall lying in bed together and cuddle so give him a peck on the lips while killing him with your cute ass smile (U MURDERER 🗿🗿)

"What was that for?" "Hmmm, well I just noticed that said statue magically appeared on our table. You think it was a cute long haired fairy with glasses and a grumpy look 😋? "

He tries really hard to deadpan at you but the corner of his lips still tug upwards as he pinches your nose

"Well, sometimes its not so bad to buy a little extra, I guess."

If theres a market nearby with some really good deals then you'd either be dragged together with him or he'd come home after work with tons of bags

Always surprises you in how good he is at negotiating about the price

Sometimes you gotta stop him from arguing with some of the shop keepers because some decided to sell some items way too overpriced 🗿🗿🗿

you once found him stay up all night researching about reasonable prices for veggies... 😨

and cue to yall standing in the morning infront of said shop keeper getting absolutely destroyed in an argument by your man.. 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

Well guess who even got some extra free stufd because kuni terrified the shit out of him 😋

"Thank you for your hard work in harvesting and selling us these delicious vegetables. My wife is quite a fan of them." Your husband said as he put the money into the shop keepers shaky hands, face red in embarassement as he squeezed out a "It's nothing." between his teeth. His face paled at the words "We'll see each other next Monday. Until then have a great week." leaving your man's mouth as he gave him a friendly smile before taking your hand and going to the next stall,only for you to sheepishly wave goodbye to the shop keeper before going with your husband.

"Well, you gave him quite the scare back there." You said as you felt him squeeze your hand a bit tighter, the bustling of the array of people only increasing by minutes. "Someone had to correct his ways. It would help his sales but only if he's willing to take that advice seriously." he simply answered as he looked at the contents of the bag, counting the ingredients left to purchase.

"Well atleast we got ourselves more than we needed so we can go home and call it a day." "Who are you?" Chuckling at your surprised face out of the corner of his eyes, he continued to make his way towards the end of the market, to finally reach your car.

"I thought over your words and I do believe it would be nice to" laze around together "for once in a while. Everything in the house has already been done, so maybe we could try out that one series you've been talking about. The reviews seem to be quite positive about it."

He just lets a breathy laugh escape his lips at your squeal while you begin to rant on why its gonna be so good watching it and

UUUUGGHHGH 😭😭😭😭 GIVE ME KUNIKIDAAAAAAAGHHHHHH 😭😭😭🤡🤡👹👹👹

honestly there are like no real red flags like his red flags are disguised green flags and yall can legit work through it easily

The only thing would be his tendency to overwork himself and it could lead to an argument but never a real fight because hes pretty easy to reason with

Like even when hes stubborn, he'll STILL listen to your words because the many good things about him that he'd always make sure to take your words seriously 🗿🗿

which sometimes makes it tempting to tease him bc we can lowkey understand why dazai easily tells him the most outrageous shit and your man just casually writes it down in his notebook 😭

"That damn idiot managed to fool me again by telling me that aliens have been among us (AMOGUS 👹) and that the goverment has been hiding it from us for decades." "I thought you already knew about that tho?"

"What" "What?"

"Wait so they're real?"

Cue to him showing him a video (that dazai sent to you a week ago just for this moment 😭)

Lmao dont tease him too much tho but dw, he cant stay mad at you at all lmao 😋💅

Honestly a 8.5/10 bc his nagging scares me 💀😭

Edogawa Ranpo

"Greatest Detective" more like "Queen of Gaslightining" 👹👹

Everyone knows hes way too obsessed with sweets but how the hell is his teeth actually still existing 🗿🗿

ngl i believe fukuzawa would prob sometimes just randomly ask him if he brushed his teeth bc he lowkey lowkey raised him ok 🤡

Ranpo is all nice like "yup, i did." but when u ask him, hes a whole b*tch about it

"Hah??? Why would you ask me that?? Do you really believe that I'd be so dumb to forget about brushing my teeth? If i can solve the most difficult cases then why would you assume that brushing my teeth might something that I'd forget, huuuhh??"

His gaslightining used to work at the beginning of ur relationship but sooner or later its not hard to notice his patterns 🗿

Like yas ok, he could just put up a whole ass strategy in how to not get u to notice that he didnt brush em at all but bro

Hes too lazy

And hes a sucker for attention 😩 like he might be "annoyed" if u nag at him bc of smth but he absolutely loves it bc its just one of his many ways to get ur attention without him having to actively get up and get it for himself 🤡🤡🤡🤡

Hes a huge clown but i love him 😭

Dazai tends to forget his socks or smth lying on the floor but THIS mf right here just doesnt rly care 😭

Like that was the first thing u noticed when u entered his apartment 🤡

Its not right out messy on a disgusting degree, its more like theres tons of trinkets n shit from cases or just random candy wrap hidden under the couch 💀💀💀

The epitome of "I can do it tomorrow" bc bro doesnt forget, he just IGNORES that he has to do it 😭

might take a while to actually get him to yk do smth around the house

used to prob only sleep and shower at his apartment and thats it💀

But when hes whipped then hes whipped and hed actually try his best to help around the house

Key word "try" 🤡

Like its often tbh accompanied by "okay, ill do it but only if i get smth"

A MANCHILD, I SAY 👹👹👹👹

But there are days when he legit deep cleans everything by himself bc either you had a bad day or yall had a fight 👹👹

still would whip out the "now gimme something, please 😋" if yall cuddle after a fight and he cleaned and tidied everything up for his love 🤩

doesnt always have to be candy yk HEUEHEUEHEUUE 👹👹👹👹👹

also its not a surprise but dont let him near the kitchen

HE COULD

HE RLY COULD COOK SO WELL

Like he had only cooked for ONE time and it was like a fever dream

Bc u legit had a fever and he cooked chicken soup but uhm 🗿

he cooked it so good??? Like veggies n meat cut and cooked up nicely?

Broth kicking in real hard?

Like? "What the hell? I thought you couldn't cook??"

Bro is about to put that spoon fr away 💀

"I'm not so heartless to let you starve and I definitely wont be giving you some cheap soup either. I just looked it up on the internet and followed the instructions so you gotta get well soon because I miss your cooking 🤩🤩"

Are we flattered?? Gurl, maybe but he'd def know if we tried to make ourselves be sick to taste his cooking again

Bro only offers to help when it comes to baking 😪😮‍💨😮‍💨

His only help is licking the dough or chocolate outta the bowl or smth 😀

would sneak in many kisses tho bc he likes u and sweet stuff is just sugar overload for him and he loves it 🤩

I think one of the important factors for him in a relationship is that fukuzawa approves of you? Since he does value his opinion over his own intellect

Like bro trusted him when it came to Fukichi and other ppl 💀

fukuzawa could legit go "aliens r evil" and ranpo would be like "ok everyone, aliens are evil!!!!" 🗿🗿🗿

honesrly i dont think why there would be a reason for fukuzawa not to accept you (if there is one then time to take 100 steps back and reflect on urself 💀)

He'd prob be impressed on how u even fell in love with him bc.. its ranpo💀

petty, clingy, can be manipulative ( but never with ill intentions), would legit prank ur ass bc he can, impatient and quickly bored af

But hes attentive, kind, can be patient when it comes down to it, empathetic (depends sksks) (also thank u fukuzawa for kinda ramming that into his head 🤩), affectionate in his own way (a sucker for physical touch but would NEVER right out admit it 🗿) and so much more honestly

there arent any real red flags tbh (might come as a surprise for some ppl)

Maybe maybe he'd obviously have a bit of difficulty fully opening up and i do believe there might be times where he once or twice legit deducted what ur feelings r for him bc hes used to being careful around people and especially bc in case someonw could randomly target the agency

Or is some kinda criminal in general

But honestly when hes learned to trust you then you know youve got yourself someone loyal 💅 and i mean FR loyal

personal favorite hc and honestly prob canon since we've already seen it : he'd not be ashamed to throw hands at someone when he thinks you're being insulted or harassed

And with hands i mean exposing them to 100% until they are pissing their pants and begging him to leave them alone 🤩🤩🤩

Also also, gives me off a similar vibe to dazai with the "maybe having to walk on eggshells" around them but ranpo doesnt make you feel as watched tbh as dazai which would kinda make it easier to talk to

but bro isnt as smooth as him so whOOP 💀💀

Overall iconic and a solid 8/10 🤩🤩🤩💕💕💕

The random ratings i gave them LMAO 💀💀💀 hope u like em 🗿

[ideasarestuckinmyhead]

When I think of Auron and Rook's relationship I can't help but think how Auron loves how Rook sees how much a shitty person he could be but still loves him. How hes a cruel person, a man willing to do anything to get rid of a thorn in his side. Or how Rook slipped through his heart and the walls he put up.

How Auron steps back if he did cross a boundary of Rook's. I also think Auron likes how smart Rook is, they saw signs of something beneath his CEO deal. Along with Rook not pushing so far bc they prefer just to be with Auron.

Rook joking with Auron even when he's trying to be serious is probably a good change of pace for him. I also think Rook probably has some type of insecurities about being with Auron, like they might not meet his standards of a partner. But I also love how he always reassures them, or even that Rook isn't a toy or a fling to him. Bc honestly if he didn't day that I would also have doubts. Like the fact Auron said being around Rook is easy, he never dealt with easy.

I love how he said it's not a lustful thing it's a you thing. And if you feel the same it could be a us thing. This shows that Auron wants to be vulnerable to Rook but is also still worried they might hurt him. Bc this is the closes anyone probably ever gotten to him. Also the fact he even says that Rook smile takes his fear away. Also when he closed his eyes also show show much they are trusted. Along with being surprised he smiled, I think he's been so serious for so long he kinda forgot he can have nice moments like this with Rook.

I also like the drive back from the Club Auron gives Rook a exit from their relationship. Since he knows what type of man he is, and he doesn't want o overwhelm them with his double life. But also the fact he even said he was addicted to them, like how YV said he lowkey is a yandere in like a stream. Auron didn't want Rook to feel like they didn't go into their relationship bc of pressure to do so.

Bc there are people who have power like him have probably done that. Auron also tells Rook of things he loves about them, like how hard working they are. He most likely feels so happy that someone truly loves him for him, like he said he sucks at hiding or acting. But I also love how he told Rook that he will protect them bc he wants them by his side. Also the slight hesitation to inviting them to his penthouse is so sad. I also wonder how far Auron would go for Rook, but at the same time he would do anything for them. Like that office comfort vid he wants them to use their line to him if they want to, he wants to be useful to them bc that's what he does.

lowkey thats why i hc his love langue is acts of service. Also the fact he was so nervous that Rook chose him he was trembling. Along with Auron feeling better that a kiss and reassurance from Rook made him feel better about being chosen. He gave up so much for the people around him, but still kept somethings bc he needed at least something to keep.

Another thing! I love how goofy Auron is with Rook. Like acting like a ep of Cribs with Rook giving the tour of his Penthouse. I think that heals his inner child since he had to grow up quickly for either his mother along with his stepdad.

Okay another ramble doonnee. Finn, Faust, Jack, Lucien, once I get my HANDS ON YOU BE WEARY!!