#HORROR MOVIE REVIEW

[the-grindhouse-basement]

Three On a Meathook (1972)

[count-horror-xx]

ITS HERE ITS HERE ITS FUCKING HERE OMG

YAAAAASSSSSSS

[spookytuesdaypod]

spooky tuesday is a (now not so new!) podcast where we’re breaking down all of our favorite slashers, thrillers, monster movies and black comedies on the new scariest day of the week.

happy pride month, spookies!!!! it's officially time for us to be our best, most canonically queer selves, and we're kicking off this year's line-up with a supernatural classic: interview with the vampire (1994). if you're not watching the tv show, you totally should be, but first we have to pay our dues to the og lestat de lioncourt. tom cruise is absolutely that bitch in this role, and he and brad pitt and christian slater competed in a literal handsome-off for their parts in this movie (a competition that should've also included antonio banderas, btw). while this flick explicitly features two gay dads raising their iconic vampire daughter, it still very much could be gayer — but don't worry, baby, because we're just getting started.

give spooky tuesday a listen on apple podcasts, spotify, iheart radio, or stitcher

[z0mbi3-s0krat3s]

This one was a shit-ton of low-budget fun. It's probably the worst movie I've ever loved 😅 (2nd worst, actually) . Chock full of bad cgi insectoids and gruesome kills that were cool, sweet cheesball practical effects, some laughs at its purposeful ridiculousness, and a handful of hotties including a goddamn unicorn of a beauty (this being the only flick she's ever been in). I'm definitely adding this one to the archives at some point. No nudity, terrible acting, and an overall embarrassment to cinema...and I'm perfectly ok with that lol 7/10 on Screambox 📺

[scaredy-cat-cinema]

have you been wanting to watch a movie that’s creepy, a little horny, and features a certified Gay Boy? then Pin (1988) is for you! the Hellraiser vibes are off the charts, and i’ve never wanted to punch a man so badly!

[giveamadeuschohisownmovie]

“Night Swim” was fine. It’s absolutely what you’d expect from an early January release horror movie. It at least tries, which does count for something. What ruins the movie is that it just isn’t that scary. Once you see the monster, it immediately loses steam since it’s one of the goofiest looking designs for an evil pool demon.

So, 2/5 at best.

[horrorfanreviews666]

[webbywatcheshorror]

Lo (2009)

Lo. A story about a young man who faces off against demons in order to rescue his girlfriend- and is confronted with some uncomfortable truths. It rides the line between comical and outright campy, sometimes using that line as a jumprope, but still manages to tug on my heartstrings even though I've seen it probably a hundred times.

It's also weird as hell in some parts, both to its benefit and detriment, but I enjoy it all.

So get comfortable, keep your hands and arms inside the summoning circle, and let's get to the reviewing!

Review under the cut and as always, beasties and ghouls, there will be SPOILERS AHEAD!

This movie was made on a very limited budget, and takes place entirely in one location- the main character's living room. Despite the limitations of budget and locale, Lo manages to tell a very emotional story, and looks pretty good doing it!

(Side note- this movie, as far as I could determine, DOES NOT exist in HD form, and you know what? I think that's a good thing.)

The movie utilizes prosthetics for several characters, giving them unique and vaguely grotesque appearances; its also used when Justin, our main character, starts breaking down and enters into a conversation with his own brain through a wound on his hand.

The characters are what carry this movie, given its lack of flexibility in other categories as previously mentioned. We get drawn into Justin's struggle to command a powerful demon in order to save his missing girlfriend, and can't really help but laugh at Lo's wisecracks as it taunts its summoner and plays with his mind.

Justin is Just Some Guy, stepping out of his comfort zone and into the realm of the demonic and occult, in search of his girlfriend April who has been kidnapped by demons. He really has no idea what he's doing, but it's admirable how he keeps going, despite being threatened, humiliated, injured, and even poisoned. Even after he finds out his beloved's true nature, he still tries to bring her home.

April is, in fact, a demon herself, one of the murderous, vile, foul disgusting denizens of hell, unique among her people for being the only demon who possesses human emotions- the entire spectrum. She's the only one who can experience love, both the good parts of it and the bad. Other demons can't understand what love even feels like, and its shown that they're envious of this ability. (Though they'll deny it, of course.)

We get a musical number performed by the demon who kidnapped her (its name is Jeez, which I think about every time I use that word) that gives us her backstory, which amuses me and also kind of gives me secondhand embarrassment for reasons I cannot fathom. (It's called Demon Girl and you can find the scene on Youtube at the time of writing this.)

Lo, played by Jeremiah Birkett (who also stars as Bluebell the troll in the 10th Kingdom, another underrated early 2000s gem), is hilarious on first watch and compelling on additional ones. Its constant jabs at Justin, such as calling him 'Dinner' because that name better fits his future, make it likeable and blurs the lines of what evil really is. It's easy to forget that Lo, by its own admission, and I quote- 'will eat, kill, and rape anything, especially babies'.

The demon Lo does its best to dissuade Justin from his mission, suggesting multiple times that he dismiss it and burn the book like April had told him, which may be a hint to the twist that comes at the end of the film. Other possible hints include Lo using April's voice, going into details on what demons DO to people, and outright telling Justin that to call it disgusting is to call her disgusting, as they are the same.

Because they are. April is Lo, having fled Hell in the guise of a human, stealing a very special book- the book that Justin later uses to summon Lo. The revelation that they are one and the same seems to be the thing that finally convinces Justin that he and April can't be together, no matter how many demons he summons or how brave and determined he is.

I admit I had not clocked the twist on my first viewing, too caught up in the drama of Justin/Dinner vs the menagerie of demons (and the silliness of scenes like The Waiter putting on a performance while he makes a drink, shortly before he pours Justin's ACTUAL drink) to pick up on any of the hints.

I can't talk about this movie without mentioning the music. First we have the film's score, composed by Scott Glasgow, whose tracks 'Love, Misunderstood' and 'Love Theme From "Lo"' never fail to bring on a sense of melancholic nostalgia. Second, but equally as memorable To Me, are The Rondo Brothers, whose contributions to the film are their tracks 'Computers on Ice' and 'Ghost Patrol'. One of those tracks is fun and silly and the other one is played during the solemn ending, so of course it vexes and haunts me to this day.

I doubt the movie would have made such an impression on me without the music, but it's the dialogue that really gets me. We have comedic lines, like Lo accusing Justin/Dinner of being racist against demons, a solid 15 seconds of Justin muttering 'god damn it' repeatedly, and one of my favorites- 'Dude. Dude. I just heard you fell for the whole, "drink this and you can walk through Hell bit".' from Jeez.

There's also more serious lines that stick with me. Lo firmly stating that 'a demon should never entertain the notion that love is the answer to its question'. Justin pleading with April to stay, even after he knows she's a demon, by promising her 'Tell me you won't eat me and I'll make you my wife.'

The ending hurts in such a good way. Even after all he's been through, Justin doesn't get to rescue April and bring her home. Instead, he has to let her go, closing the circle and burning her book, cut off from her for good. Like most tragedies, there was no other way it could have ended.

Another thing I'd like to touch on is the creativity of using a stage performance to portray the flashback scenes, complete with 'actors', backstage crew, and some very expressive Comedy and Tragedy masks who are literally just people standing behind a curtain with only their faces visible.

And speaking of which, this is a movie that would translate very well to a stage, with the majority of the scenes consisting of Lo and Justin talking back and forth on the floor in a dark room, and secondary characters manifesting in various corners. (And a live version of Demon Girl sounds HILARIOUS.)

Overall I give this one 9 ghosts outta ten, as there are a couple things in it that it could probably have done without, but overall it's one of my favorite movies. No, it's not a scary movie, but there's a kind of horror to be found in knowing you love a monster, despite the monstrous things they've done.

[realwomenofgaming]

Lisa Frankenstein: A Movie Review

@ThiatheBard's thoughts on the new horror movie Lisa Frankenstein. #horrorreview #lisafrankenstein

Sometimes there are movies that just perfectly encapsulate something. It can be the feeling of terror. The feeling of being an “other.” It can be how seriously weird teenage girls are. How much the world hates that and how lonely it can be.  Lisa Frankenstien somehow took all of those feelings and sewed them into a monster of a movie! Lisa is just a teenage girl. She has her special interests,…

[sam-keeper]

I wrote about the Friday the 13th movies, and the bad place between competently staged gore, and complete conceptual gibberish, where Friday the 13th Part 8 languishes

featuring a graph at least as serious and professional as anything Prager U puts out

[the-grindhouse-basement]

Pieces (1982)

[raesnovelsblog]

Synopsis from IMDB:

Two witch sisters, raised by their eccentric aunts in a small town, face closed-minded prejudice and a curse which threatens to prevent them ever finding lasting love.

My synopsis: 

Sisters have to evade the police after killing an abusive man with the help of their aunts, the mom’s that shunned them, and magic.

My review

I adore this movie. I haven’t watched it in awhile and there were parts I either completely forgot about or didn’t get upon initial viewing. All the actresses brought their A game. I especially loved seeing Margot Martindale. She makes everything better. It’s one of those movies that barely passes the Bechdel test, but is still a strong female centric movie. 

Rating : 9/10

Haven’t watched this movie in a long time.

Love the nod to witches just being misunderstood ladies that knew how to have a good time.

Ah the look of fear on their faces, warms my heart. What did they think would happen when they messed with a witch?

The little versions of them are adorable.

I remembered they lived with their aunts, but I forgot it was because their mother died too.

That poor little bird. It didn’t do anything.

Young Nicole Kidman looks like fun.

Why do they always cut their hands like that? That has to hurt and feels like it would take a long time to heal.

Faith Hill! I loved this song.

I’m obsessed with Sandra’s outfit. Minus the rain boots.

So is the family line also cursed with twins and/or only having girls? Because that wasn’t mentioned.

Digging this soundtrack.

I don’t see what Gilly sees in that guy. 

Her pleases are breaking my heart.

Oh my god, that’s little Evan Rachel Woods.

If you have to drug your boyfriend to go see your sister, that’s probably not a healthy relationship.

See Sally picked up on it too.

Margo Martindale! I love her.

“The nudity is completely optional, as you well remember.” Ha.

He really is a bad guy.

Jilly came up with the plan. Of course it failed.

The man held a gun to your head and that’s the best slap you could give him?

“My wife.” Damn, that movie ruined that phrase.

Digging a grave in the rain has to make it extra difficult.

Midnight margaritas sound like an awesome tradition.

I used to think it was just because they were drunk that they said all of that, but now I get that it was the dead guys' influence.

The aunts singing that song is beyond creepy.

Someone left the bottle on the porch and you drank from it? The townies hate you. I’d be afraid one of them left it with something inside.

Has no one noticed how fast the rose bush is growing?

Poor little girl. I’d be traumatized if I saw a man that no one else could see. Witch or no witch.

Her not being able to lie to him is adorable and awkward.

He murdered another woman? I didn’t remember that part at all.

The townsfolk are truly awful.

If that boy has chickenpox, should he be around the other children? 

Her and the cop have good chemistry.

He went from interrogating to making out really quickly.

The cop has seen a few magic related things, but seeing a ghost rise out of a woman is hard to brush off as something else.

He’s having a hard time adjusting, but he didn’t hesitate with the badge and I give him props for that.

“I wished for you too.” I actually awwed.

I love her using the phone tree.

I love the look of awe in the daughters’ eyes when she lit the candle with magic.

Margo looking around trying to figure out the words - priceless.

Gilly hitting that invisible wall was a good effect.

The power of women. 

So she’s not afraid that he’s only there because of magic anymore?

I want her dress.

When the town thought they were witches, they were scared of them. Now that they know they are witches, everyone’s cool?

I love that the littlest one jumped up into the cops arms. At least you won’t have to worry about the kids not liking the new guy.

[spookytuesdaypod]

spooky tuesday is a (now not so new!) podcast where we’re breaking down all of our favorite slashers, thrillers, monster movies and black comedies on the new scariest day of the week.

the pride parade continues with our second pick of the month, and things are really heating up here at spooky tuesday. if you were worried this year's lineup wasn't queer enough, then you can put those fears to bed and wake them up with an egg-white omelet, because love lies bleeding (2024) is dangerously gay and disgustingly sexy. featuring kristen stewart and katy o’brian and directed by rose glass, this thriller doesn't skimp on the violence or romance, and it even sprinkles in a little bit of body horror just to drive its point home. join us on our latest episode as we share our appreciation for muscle mommies and mixed feelings about mullets.

give spooky tuesday a listen on apple podcasts, spotify, iheart radio, or stitcher

[z0mbi3-s0krat3s]

Yooooo, this was pretty fucking savage, man 😅 Called "Pussy-Cake" in English, it's a badass mashup of horror and scifi. Mind-controlling alien slugs vs all-girl rock band. Zombie vibes and then some. Relentless pace, solid makeup, brutal gore. This was an indie film done right. Definitely worth checking out. 7.5/10 on Screambox.

[madstonedcrone]

🌕🌕🌕🌑🌑 3/5 Moons

The premise was exciting and different. It was a nice throwback to games like Bloody Mary and The Candy Man era. The only thing is, and it's not entirely their fault, the acting was very very unbelievable. They are new to the game though so I won't hold that over them too much, everyone needs to start somewhere! I do wish they wrote it in a more exciting way, the writing felt a bit flat. The ghost disturbs the absolute crap out of me. Not much does but when you see that face, hell naw to the naw naw naw. Fun fact the ghost is actually an acrobat which is how she does those creepy bends! The ghosts visuals and it's fun fresh idea, even though it could have been executed better, are the reasons why I have to give it 3 moons.

[evangelifloss]

Pros and Cons of Cannibal Holocaust

Pros:

The scenery shots are nice

Cute monki and pretty jaguar

Tries to highlight exploitation of indigenous peoples by white people

The main theme is nice??? Idk I didn't like it

Cons:

Literally the whole movie

2x cute monki + 4 other animals actually killed

Exploits indigenous people by forcing them to act in the film w/o getting paid, or reimbursement for injury (burns)

main "white" characters emotionally abused and were not aware that animals would actually be killed.

The tribes are portrayed as caricatures despite the narrative trying to criticize our views of them-- their only scenes being "peaceful" involve screaming instead of any attempt to show they have language, overexaggerated movements and gestures in response to anything the "good" white man does, ritually mutilating their own tribal members (all sexually graphic, and only involve women), over-emphasis on the way they eat that is cartoonishly bad I.e., stuffing their faces with meat that is unnecessarily wasteful and messy.

In conclusion, unless you're interested in tracing the movements of horror history and the popularization/introduction of now well known sub-genres (e.g., found footage), don't waste your time.

P.S I didn't list all the cons because I'd end up with an essay