#Hades split himself into few parts for easier work

[satoshy12]

Baby Trickster God Danny

It all started when the Amazons noticed God on their island. Not sure what God or Pantheon left him alone; he didn't seem to be like the rest of their gods.

But it was just as bad; he was a trickster god.

And after finally talking to him, he turned all their clothes pink. They learned he has no idea why he landed here. All Danny remember was Frostbite sending him with the Infimap away to learn new things.

As the priestesses and Hippolyta asked, Queen Hera said he wasn't from them.

Well, quasi, but Hades is too busy to take care of him, so they as Amazons are stuck as babysitters till Winter.

So the Amazons knew the best idea.

They sent the baby prankster to Diana. Let it be her problem.

So.

That was how Diana returned home and had her mother give her a child demigod into her arms and say. "Have fun."

And chaos became Diana's life, but she would not have it any other way.

A/N

Pariah Dark was a shard of Hades, so Danny defeated him.

Danny became part of Pariah shard, a lesser God part of Hades.

Or

better explained,

a mix of Halfa Demigod

[jmoriarty-221b]

New AU idea: I’ve found out that there’s some versions of the Batman comics where Tim Drake becomes Red Robin straight off the bat (he was never Robin & didn’t go to Batman) so I’m running with that

This Tim Drake doesn’t find Batman all that amazing, he recognizes Batman as a hero and as a symbol of Hope for Gotham, but he also sees him as just one man trying to make a difference, he holds more admiration towards Robin, specifically Jason’s Robin since he knows Gotham in ways Batman doesn’t, he checks on the street kids and the homeless, makes hot chocolate runs for the working girls when he can, and he is more interested in helping those in Crime Alley, a place where Batman and the previous Robin didn’t tend to patrol before Jason

And Tim has never been a normal child, there’s really no way for him to be human but there’s also no way to prove that he isn’t human, he passes the DNA tests, he doesn’t have a meta gene, he doesn’t have a mutation nor a difference in genetics, physiologically? There’s nothing to prove that Tim is anything other than human. In practice? Tim isn’t exactly limited if he cut off a limb, if he were to be shot in the head it would take approximately five minutes for him to heal back up, he can decide whether or not a wound will leave scars on his body, he can choose whether or not a mortal wound would put him in the ground permanently, most importantly, he can choose whether or not to contact his crew from the Isle that was supposed to be his home

There’s a reason as to why Tim isn’t exactly fond of heroes, after all, heroes decided to sentence countless of children yet to be born to a life of pain, suffering and poverty amongst an island filled with villains, heroes are the ones who put a barrier over the Isle that prevented its occupants from accessing their magic, heroes are the reason that his fae sisters and djinn brother and sea witch cousin and pirate friends are unable to access a part of themselves, he reason that they are unable to grow up properly and learn to control and feel and channel their magical cores, heroes are the reason for why him and his family hide behind fake names, and if it wasn’t for his parents’ quick thinking and preparations to flee then heroes would’ve been the reason he would’ve also grown up imprisoned and unable to access an integral part of himself

So no, Tim isn’t exactly impressed by the Batman

But Gotham exudes a similar signature as the one of the Isle of the Lost, making it the one place to where his parents could establish themselves undetected as the pollution would obscure their magical signatures had anyone looked for them, of course, Tim wasn’t old enough to learn how to lock down his own magical core in a way that wasn’t detrimental to himself, so he couldn’t be taken out of Gotham to accompany his parents on their numerous trips around the world, and such was his boredom that he decided to take advantage of his lack of adult supervision and explore Gotham

Having been taught about what became of the people he would’ve known as family from his parents as well as reading up every book he could in the ancient family library regarding long distance communication with magical kin, Tim ends up with a plan to meet with kids on the Isle as soon as he can, it turns out that establishing communication with the Isle requires for him to be in a part of Gotham that has the same atmosphere as the Isle, so Little Tim sets up shop in a semi secure rooftop in Crime Alley and establishes communication, needless to say he’s in for a surprise because “Oh wow why are you there Mr. Hades, you could escape any time and there’s no way those mortals could hope to contain your power, so why are you on the Isle?”

Turns out that attempting communication from a place surrounded by death and sorrow would lead to Tim establishing a magical video chat with the Lord of the Underworld, who’d’ve thunk? Anyway, Hades is literally just chilling for the next hundred years on the Isle because it’s easier to agree to mortals’ demands than obliterate them, and it’s less paperwork too so win-win, and one afternoon he’s suddenly communicating with one of the cutest little chipmunks he’s seen (kids are cute, and Tim is still a baby so he’s Tiny Cute) who introduced himself as Timothy Dwake and isn’t that just precious that the little tyke still has trouble with his r’s but how is he able to communicate with him on the Isle oh, that’s Janet’s kid, well shit guess he has a godson now (Janet had always wanted for Tim to be protected and that’s why she had been one of the few to escape the Isle, she had been a good friend back in the day so it seemed only fair for him to return the favor by looking out for Tiny Tim; it has nothing to do with Tim’s very cute face and slightly chubby cheeks that he kinda wants to pinch and his cute little lisp no Persephone I’m not attached-)

Anyway, so Tim ends up learning from his Uncle H on how to control his magical core and how to defend himself against physical and magical threats, he has a talent for using shadows to conceal himself as well as to listen in on others and gather information, if he concentrates really hard he can even manipulate shadows into solid figures, once he told this to his Uncle new training lessons began and now Tim is able to maintain his shadow constructs solid for longer periods of time as well as give them shape, over time he would learn more control over his ability and it will become easier to make weapons from shadows, his Uncle H also trains him in combat, particularly lost forms of combat from ancient civilizations

One particular night Tim wasn’t able to go to their meeting spot in Crime Alley, there was an Arkham Breakout and he wasn’t about to be caught up in that shit because could he fight off some villains and protect himself? Sure, but that would mean a possibility of getting the Batman’s attention and he’s not about to do that so staying at home it is, and now he is walking alone in the Drake gardens, he has no one to practice his fighting techniques with, no one to talk to, no one to teach him about what’s happening in the Isle, no one to teach him how to control his powers and his parents are gone for most of the year and they say that they’ll take him with them when he’s older but they’ve been saying that for years and now he’s much better at concealing his power and the King of Auradon believes he put every villain away for good so it’s not like they’re searching for his magical signature anyway so WHY WON’T HIS PARENTS TAKE HIM WITH THEM!?!?!? WHY IS HE ALWAYS LEFT ALONE!?!?!?

As he got progressively angrier, Tim hadn’t noticed how his power became stronger, how shadows grew larger, nor how the ground seemed to tremble and crack, it wasn’t until the ground literally split in front of him that he realized that maybe his power may have gotten out of hand, a bit, maybe, to be fair, he didn’t mean to summon a skeleton warrior with who he could practice his fighting with but hey, silver lining and all that, and he has something else to tell his Uncle H about in their next meeting (Hades may or may not have blessed his godson, and the blessing may or may not have given Tim some sort of control over his domains)

Anyway, eventually Tim learns how to see what’s happening in the Isle on his own from a sort of bird’s eye view, he sees what kids his age are going through and tries to find ways to alleviate the pain, he begins to talk to the kids and establishes rapport with them, he becomes friends with little Uma and Harry by bonding over swordplay, he gives Jay and Carlos tips for how to find the best hiding spots, he learns from Evie how to hide more stuff in his clothes and how to add more protective fabrics to his wardrobe, he and Mal bond over high parental expectations (she reminds him of Hades sometimes, and he thinks her eyes are a very pretty green with gold flecks sprinkled in, he may have a crush???) (Psssst, Mal likes Tim’s eyes too, she thinks it’s very pretty how they seem to change shades depending on his mood and when he’s happy they match her purple hair) *cue cuteness from these unfortunate little beans because yes*

Anyway, Tim has been working on creating a portal to a secluded part of the Isle from where he could send supplies to kids there, he was 8 years old when he started looking into this possibility after managing to make friends with the kids and now, at 13, he has finally managed to make it happen, he can only send non-living things through the portal tho, because although theoretically he Could send himself over, then he’d be stuck behind the barrier and couldn’t access his magic so that’s a big no, and he also can’t take the risk of getting someone from the Isle out because he can’t guarantee their safety (he tried with small insects and one time with a mouse; they died); the first thing he sends are medical supplies, food and bottled water, at first it’s only for his close friends, then they all establish a sort of routine and plan to get these supplies to other kids while hiding what they’re doing from their parents behind the guise of building their own gang on the Isle, Uma with the pirates and Mal with the inner city, Tim becomes their sort of advisor on important matters having seen what strategy tends to work when recruiting people as well as how to better approach street kids, he gets nicknamed the Shadow Angel for helping from behind the curtain, literally

Tim continues to learn as much as he can from his Uncle H, shadows Robin around Crime Alley, avoids gaining Batman’s attention and acquires supplies to send to the Isle three times a week from different places (he’s gotta cover his tracks, otherwise he runs the risk of getting Batman’s attention even if it’s just because the same person keeps buying food, water and medical supplies from various stores each week) but Tim has money, and he has experience regarding gangs and their recruiting and internal works (he’s helping his friends make their own gangs after all) and these people are in need of help as well, so he decides to make his own ‘gang’ by hiring people to do supply runs for him, he poses as a recruiter and gives fliers with information about his own gang and the benefits that joining will have (health insurance, dental, payed maternity leave, payed recuperation period, payed physical therapy and medical bills in case Batman decides to pop in, education is provided for anyone who wishes to get their GED and continue their education, etc); in the end, Tim keeps the Boss’ identity a secret until he reaches adulthood because no one would take a kid seriously, but he ends up amassing his own gang in Gotham while at the same time improving the life of people in poverty areas like Crime Alley and the Bowery

Of course, everything comes to a head when Mal, Evie, Jay and Carlos are elected to go to school in Auradon leaving Uma as the only leader on the Isle, meanwhile Tim has been keeping tabs on Robin and gets to save Jason from Joker in Ethiopia (turns out being able to summon a skeleton army comes in handy when rescuing Robin from a deranged psychopath like Joker) so Tim is simultaneously saving Jason while still trying to remain anonymous to Batman (he’s built and maintained an entire gang in the most crime ridden part of Gotham for years, he’s not about to get involved with the Bats now)

So Tim only finds out about what happened to Mal, Evie, Jay and Carlos until they’re already in Auradon and decides you know what? Fuck it, I’m gonna meet my friends face to face, besides, he can handle maintaining a gang in Gotham, he’s sure he can handle Auradon (update: he cannot, he’s this close 🤏 to rocking someone’s shit, he proposes overtaking the kingdom twice a day, he knows they could do it, and it’ll be easy even, but it’s the paperwork that’s holding them back, meh, let Ben do the grunt work and become an advisor, at least their manipulations would be in favor of improving the life of kids in poverty unlike other people who just want to get more money from their position close to the crown, gotta love politics)

Anyway, Tim Drake does become Red Robin, gang leader and benevolent overlord of Crime Alley and the Bowery, helping Gotham citizens and being the Shadow Angel of the Isle, plotting Auradon’s downfall for fun on his slow days as well as working on taking out the kids from the Isle and setting up safe houses for them for when he and his friends figure out how to save the kids

[flateshippingrates]

Always Yours

A/N: This idea was suggested by @nicohasahappymeal :) 

Ship: Solangelo

Words: 3095

Ao3

It was not common for Will to leave camp, but it did happen from time to time and, by the Gods, this week was one of those times until further notice. The Roman camp was short staffed and were in need of a healer to help teach others and work alongside in the infirmary. It was a good learning experience for everyone; Will could learn different techniques and they could share some knowledge the Greeks had as well. It was a win-win; well, it almost was except for the fact it meant he would have to leave Nico which was hard enough as is but was intensified when they learned the ghost king was being summoned to the Underworld. 

They weren’t sure if they would have any time to talk or if their schedules would match up at all. Nico tended to have no concept of time when he was in the Underworld for more than a few days, basing his time on how often he slept but that was, of course, a faulty system. It had been several days since their last Iris message and frankly Will was homesick. No one here seemed to understand when he was joking or when he was being serious or that some of his southern expressions were meant to be passive aggressive in the nicest way possible. It was like he was speaking Greek to them. 

He just wanted to go home. He just wanted to be with Nico.

That night the blond was left to flop down on the bed in a tired huff, overgrown hair flaring out like a halo, and knocking all the air out of him. He had his own room which was a nice change but going from being around people constantly to no-one at all was a little jarring. Blue eyes scanned the hardly lived in room to check the time (was 7 o’clock too early to go to bed?) and was surprised when he saw a letter on his nightstand. 

It was in a simple, white envelope, clearly labeled “Willow” in sharp handwriting and a ‘W’ substantially larger than all the other letters; it was typical of Nico to make the capital letters tower over the lowercase. Turning it over he found a black, wax seal with the helmet of Hades on it, and while he was curious how this got to him Will knew not to question Nico. Instead, he did his best to open it without destroying the seal completely. The letter read as follows:

Dear Willow,

I hope you don’t mind if I write to you, since (and I am sure this will not surprise you) I have lost track of time. I miss you terribly and, even if you cannot respond, I still want you to know I have thought of nothing but you since we were separated.

I am ragged and exhausted and want to take a break to be home or, at the very least, in your arms and to share a clementine with you. I would split it in half but if you said you were still hungry I would happily give you my part as well. I just want a bite so I can taste what you taste. I want us to have even more in common today, and the next, and for as long as time moves forward so that, for a moment, while loving each other, it feels like the same as loving ourselves and as if we are sharing a piece of citrus. 

I will write again tomorrow.

Always yours,

Nico

And that’s how it began, as simple as that: a letter came in once a day in an identical looking envelope and filled with sweet words that made being apart more bearable. Will looked forward to this but desperately wished he could write something back or give Nico some idea that he was actually reading them. Sometimes he would even reread the same notes over and over again--especially on the days when the infirmary took all his energy; some days it was all he had to look forward to. 

It was hard being at the Roman camp because their schedule was stricter and left little room for experimenting. They used more medicine based practices over Will’s preferred healing powers. He also found that their infirmary lacked any ambiance. Where were the sweet smelling oils, soft singing, and idle conversation between the doctor and patient? It felt more sterile and as if the goal was only to rush people in and out as fast as possible without reassuring them that they could come back with any questions or concerns. 

He tried to teach the new medics the power of human empathy but not everyone took to it. When he thought of all the fits he got from Greek campers compared to the well-oiled machine that was the Roman camp, he felt kind of silly for complaining about it. He supposed what he missed most of all was the personality of Camp Halfblood. The worst part of this situation being that he knew one day he would have to be in this camp, especially if he wanted to stay under some protection. He would have to learn to love it whether he wanted to or not and that is just what he tried to do. He decided he would try to keep on the sunny side as best he could when he was working.

There was also the matter of Nico’s friends here and how they often tried to make Will feel like he was part of their group. It felt awkward and forced at times though. He was not part of this original collective which lead to feelings of doubt; they were most likely hanging out with him because he was Nico’s boyfriend and not because they actually liked him. It wasn’t that Will had never been insecure before yet this felt different. He didn’t have Nico here to reassure him that everyone did like him or thought he was a vital part of the team. Instead, all he had were these letters and they could only make shots in the dark at what Will needed to hear at that moment. 

He went back to his room relatively early, picking at his food, and was eager to see if the note had arrived yet. There was a dissipating shadow as he entered the room, allowing Will to know how Nico was transporting the letters (it was so small he knew it would only be a hand traveling), as well as a sense of ease knowing he wouldn’t immediately be left alone with his thoughts. The blond sat on the bed, just as careful as always when he opened the letter, and read:

Dear Willow,

I met with Hypnos today; we sat in his field of poppies and, as I’m sure you know, we could not speak freely for no noise and no light can enter his grotto but he did allow me some knowledge for my quest and of you. He is a kind God and has agreed to give you deeper sleep tonight to calm your unease at the Roman camp. I was not aware you were feeling so out of place among our friends. 

You are the greatest ally we could ever ask for. That is why they asked you to go to their camp in the first place. If they seem stiff or awkward around you it is because they have never felt the embrace of your true laugh. We will be in our home before you know it, Will. I am sure of it. For now, make the best you can of the situation. I promise I will be there soon. 

I am sending this letter, but I wish it were me instead.

Always yours,

Nico

It was true that a good night’s rest could change your perception to the point you would not recognize yourself the next day. This attitude adjustment helped him ease back into work and look at the new work environment as refreshing rather than a burden. He did start to see certain swaps that could help his own infirmary; for example, the thorough documentation of everything that happened. It could be such a pain having to note it but when he wasn’t sure what treatment a patient was given he wasn’t finding himself running around to ask who treated them. It, also, was nice to know exactly how much someone was eating to see how the medicine was affecting them. 

He still missed Nico deeply, of course, but now he was finding it easier to focus on the daily tasks at hand. It wasn’t out of neglect or falling out of love; he just understood he was doing no one a favor by sulking and pining for his boyfriend. This was just one of the downsides of being in a relationship. The daily letters did help ease his mind which is exactly why when he didn’t get one that night he practically spiraled into a panic attack. 

It wasn’t like Nico to just <i>forget</i> Will like that! What if something happened to him? The blond was not sure if he should pack a bag and go to the Underworld himself! He was pacing around until almost midnight before decided to go to sleep and choose a plan of action in the morning. If Nico was in a fight Will wouldn’t be doing him any favors by messaging him. 

Sleep should come easy after a long day at work yet concern would not allow him a decent rest. He woke up every hour on the hour, no matter how hard he tried to stay asleep. Maybe Nico just forgot or fell asleep or lost track of time? Surely nothing happened, right? By 3AM and no word from his sunspot, Will tried to Iris message him but was immediately brushed away. This did nothing to soothe his anxiety in the least; Come morning he was so tired and worried that he was unable to work with a competent hands so he was sent back to rest for the day. 

He tried three more times in succession to Iris message Nico, always being immediately disconnected, until the Goddess eventually snapped, “Oh my Gods, you again? Give it a rest, buddy!”  

So now he had no way of contacting his boyfriend.

 He paced around the room for another hour, doing his best to formulate a solid plan to get Nico back from the Underworld like a modern day Orpheus. There would be plenty of people at the Roman camp who would be willing to help him, afterall. They knew his worth, not only for him being a friend, but as a great ally to have if another war comes. During all this frenzied planning and organizing, Will failed to notice a letter being placed onto the nightstand, along with a small bag of coins for Iris messaging, until he turned around to see a retracting shadow. 

Apollo may be the God of the sun, but in that moment Will would have bet he moved faster than the speed of light upon seeing that letter. He ripped it open like his life depended on it and skimmed the card so fast he didn’t process at first. The blond forced himself to take a few calming breaths, still shaking with anticipation and, much slower this time, read: 

Dear Willow,

I am fine. I was resting after a MINOR injury and forgot to ask my father to send my letter to you. It was not a good time for Iris messages either (I am really fine, this is not a cover up) so I have sent you a few coins to make up for all your calls. Don’t waste your money. 

My father told me yesterday that I should be coming home to you soon and I can’t think of any greater joy in life than to be with you undisturbed after so long. I love you and have woken up in the middle of the night to write this letter. I am ready to say nothing but “I love you, Will” for the next lifetime. 

I have missed drowning in your laughter and finding all the air I could ever need in the crook of your neck. I want to lie beside you and love you, fully and without apology. Would you let me love you? Would you come and love me? 

If I could walk into your room now, I swear, I would never long to be anywhere else; not even Olympus could offer me any home greater than the one I’ve made with you. The number of hours we have been together has not been long enough to satisfy me--they are sweet and so quick and the hours apart have doubled with bitterness. I want any excuse to be with you tonight. When I come back, I promise I will always linger behind you and forget my scarf in our home before work so I always have a reason to come back. I will always come back to you.

Always yours,

Nico

And it was true, in three days time Nico was stumbling through a shadow right into Will’s arms with the look of utter exhaustion written on his face. The Italian was roughed up with bruises and cuts, but he had definitely seen worse in his day. As much as he would have loved to immediately cuddle with the son of Hades though, Will knew he needed to wash the dry blood from his face and stop what looked like a still bleeding nose. When his tanned fingers ran through black hair it was matted, feeling greasy and crusty at the roots like he was unable to clean it for the last month; still, Will loved it. He loved all of it.

His pants were too big on Nico and had to be rolled up at the ends but with a belt he was able to wear them with no problem. The son of Hades was resting his head against Will in the evening after showering and finally feeling safe as his hair was tenderly brushed against with skillful, surgeon hands. It was the most peace either of them had gotten in the last month and, not ready to see the others yet, they hid in Will’s room. Their moods were mellow and they were happy, content, and enjoying it while they could, because they understood moments like these didn’t last forever; all they could do was try to memorize it for a later memory. How could they forget how their hands fit together so perfectly though? 

“Hey, Neeks,” Will said with a sweet smile, “I was thinking… wouldn’t it be cute if we brushed each other’s hair?” 

The son of Hades looked up--his attention definitely caught--and nodded slowly. This was one of those times where he was not sure if this was a normal thing that couples did or if it was exclusive to them. Will was the one who understood what was normal behavior in this time, or in general, and if his boyfriend was recommending it then surely it was not so strange. It did sound nice too; he couldn’t remember the last time he brushed his hair. Most of all though, he just wanted to touch Will and be touched back.

The brush went through Will’s hair easily and the curls spread in a frizzy mess at being parted by fine bristles. Strands of blond stuck in the teeth and the soft mess felt nice against Nico’s blistered fingers. 

It was quickly Will’s turn to do Nico’s and that was when problems started to arise. It would not be easy to part the somehow still greasy, clumped strands but he was determined to save anything he could. The blond started from the tips, careful not to pull hard, an apology escaping his mouth anytime his boyfriend whined. “Okay, okay...new approach… maybe a haircut?” 

“Do you even know how to do that?” Nico snapped, rubbing his hair to try and release the discomfort. He could feel the loose strands but there was still a rats nest in his hair. Even in his annoyance, he felt bad a snapping after he had been waiting to see Will for so long; it was just in his nature to be crabby. Nevertheless though, he mumbled, “Sorry, I am tired. I shouldn’t have snapped at you… But, seriously, Will, do you even know how to cut hair?”

The blond nodded confidently. “I do, habibi, and I can be as quick as shadow travel.” 

Nico snorted at the comparison and, although still skeptical, nodded. This must have been the plan all along because the blond was ready with scissors and a razor in no time. It wouldn’t surprise Nico if he had been waiting for this moment; generally his hair was too hard to manage during missions, being low on the list of priorities, and it took days for him to get it back to some symbolince of normal. It was not fun for either boy. 

 Will began cutting out chunks of black hair, at first being a bit careless, before realizing what he took he couldn’t get back without time. The last thing he ever wanted to do with Nico was rush. He slowed his movements, being as careful as he could be when he started shaving the boy’s neck. It was a bit of an awkward cut, an Aphrodite child would have done a better job, but with a #3 razor he was able to shorten the sides to an easy to care for length. The top was still as long as he could allow after chopping away the knots. It was not the best but a decided improvement. 

Nico ran his fingers through his hair, just glad the whole thing was over. “So, how does it look?”

“Like a million bucks,” Will stated as he leaned in to kiss a neck decorated with freshly cut hair, “And I get to be rich just by being close to you.”

“I’ve missed you so much, tesoro,” Nico mutter, twisting his body to look into his sky and felt sturdy arms wrap around him. When they kissed between a smile, the son of Hades noted, “You taste like clementines.”

“I do,” Will said, staring into the only forest meant for his arms, “I had one earlier--when you were showering. It was good, but… I much prefer the taste of you.” 

[fourteenacross]

hadestown - 5/26/19, 3pm

We also saw Hadestown while we were in the city for Octet!

Sooooo, as I mentioned before, I saw Hadestown off-broadway at the NYTW in the spring of 2016. I had previously been familiar with the album, as Orpheus and Eurydice is a particular favorite myth of mine. I can't 100% remember, but I think that someone told me to listen to it when I was writing my X-Men Orpheus&Eurydice story? Either way, when we found out it was going to be playing while @pearlo was in town, we got tickets, along with @littledust and @anachronistique. And it was great!! I truly enjoyed it! I've been listening to bits of it regularly ever since! (Ish. There was like, a good eight months where all I listened to was podcasts, books, and Ghost Quartet.)

I'm saying all of this because this review is...pretty critical? And I want to make it clear that I do love this music and enjoy this show and I had a good time and I would recommend it, probably! But I wasn't as in love with the production as I was with the NYTW production for a few reasons that I'll get into below the cut.

So, usually I go song by song, but I feel like the things I have to say are largely broader than that, so I guess I'm just going to jump right in.

The cast is largely excellent. Patrick Page and Amber Gray could murder me and I'd be okay with it, tee bee aitch. Patrick Page does a thing with his face that just makes me cry, I don't know how he does it. Sorcery, probably. And Amber Gray is an actual goddess, for reals, how is she even real?

I loved Eva Noblezada's take on Eurydice! She had this sharp, broken energy to her that was truly incredible. She was like...spunky. And it was excellent.

I loved Andre De Shields' energy. His movement was unreal. His voice didn't work for me in places, but that could have just been the sound design of the show--there were bits where it was really hard for me to make out what he was singing.

Jewelle Blackman is AMAZING, as are Yvette Gonzales-Nacer and Kay Trinidad. They've really turned the Fates into a more menacing presence, and while I ADORE Lulu Fall and Shaina Taub and missed seeing them, I didn't MISS them, if that makes sense.

Reeve Carney. Oh. My dude. You are certainly a white boy with a guitar.

And here's where it really starts to break down for me. I have two major issues with the show, and the first one is that I find absolutely nothing exceptional in Reeve Carney. I cannot understand why this cagey, feisty girl who's been hurt before would throw everything in with this weirdo, IMMEDIATELY POSSESSIVE kid who's singing her a song? Lisa framed it as, "She's nineteen and she's literally never met a nice man before," and I can kind of see it through that lens, but I also don't think that's the lens that the show wants me to see it through. It wants me to frame this as a beautiful, epic love story, but I don't buy that she's in love with him. Maybe I'm too gay for it or maybe it's the writing or maybe it's the acting, but it doesn't connect for me, and once that connection is broken, the whole show sort of falls apart.

I don't recall having this problem with the NYTW version. It could be that since that version started with the two of them already in love, it was easier to wave it off as some off-stage wooing that already happened and accept that there were reasons they were together. It could have been that Nabiyah Be's Eurydice was a little softer and more naive. It could have been that I empathized more with Damon Daunno's Orpheus. Whatever it was, I found it much easier to accept that they were in love, which made Orpheus' neglect feel so much more painful and Eurydice's choice so much more desperate and all that followed so much more heartbreaking.

Basically, most of the stakes stop being so high if you don't buy into their love, which I just...did not.

My other major issue, to get that out of the way up front, is the pacing is still not great. Although I didn't write up notes after Hadestown in 2016 (I saw it literally hours before I saw Hamilton for the first time), I remember talking with my friends about how the beginning is very tight and the middle-to-end are kind of a mess and bloated. I didn't follow the show closely while it was out of town and I guess I kind of hoped that it would have been tightened up more, but no. It was not. It still feels very over-full and there's now this number where Orpheus gets beat up by the Hadestown workers that's like...comically over the top. In my heart, I really feel like this could be a one act show, or at least a two act show with much shorter acts. "Wait for Me" is SUCH a good act one finale, but you lose some of that energy moving to "Why We Build the Wall," which I think would work just as well as an opening to act two, as much as I love the way "Our Lady of the Underground" is staged.

Anyway, all that being said, I still enjoyed it and still cried, so what do I know, right?

Road to Hell: I liked this as an introduction overall, and loved the little intros for all of the characters. It really sold me on Andre De Shields, too, esp because I loved Chris Sullivan so much.

Any Way the Wind Blows: This is such a great song and god, I loved the way Eva played Eurydice. The candle thing was a nice touch.

Come Home With Me: I can't believe I'm supposed to care about this kid.

Wedding Song: I liked the new twist on this, although I think I like it better a more earnest song. Still, Eurydice using this to sort of mock Orpheus about being a broke artist was a cool twist and Eva sold it.

Epic I: This was fine. It's explained either here or earlier that spring and fall have more-or-less disappeared because Persephone is being forced to spend more time in the Underworld and is being brought back down sooner. The implication, as we get further along in the story, is that Hades doesn't know how to connect to Persephone any longer and is keeping her around more both a) as a show of power and b) because he doesn't know how else to express himself to her.

Livin’ It Up On Top: I would absolutely kill for Amber Gray. This version of Persephone is drinking to cope. A LOT. It paints this sad, lovely picture of what she's been feeling.

All I've Ever Known: I just do not buy that they're in love, sorry.

Way Down Hadestown: The staging and set of the show are fantastic. There's a panel at the center of the stage that rises and lowers as needed and the visual of Persephone and Hades, stony faced both, sinking back into the underworld is perfect.

A Gathering Storm: The through line about the weather mostly works for me, but honestly, I was so distracted by how annoyed I was at Orpheus during this number that I was pulled out of the moment.

Hey, Little Songbird: Skipping ahead a little, Patrick Page is perfect, in case you were wondering. I tweeted something like that after NYTW and he clearly found it in a vanity search and replied very humbly, which I find quite charming. But yes, I adore him.

When the Chips are Down: This is one of my favorite songs in this show and the Fates kill it here. Their slightly more sinister characterization makes it more haunting than taunting and I'm into it.

Wait For Me: The lighting in this number deserves a Tony all on its own. Jesus Christ, that's art. The set is also incredible. As Orpheus moves down into Hadestown, the stage splits apart from an intimate cafe into a larger, more industrial space. Very cool.

Why We Build the Wall: Again, Patrick Page is excellent. This works really well to pull Eurydice in, as well. We see her slowly starting to accept this way of thinking as she listens to Hades. And, of course, Persephone's act-ending line is perfect.

Our Lady of the Underground: Amber! Gray! Is! Wonderful!

Flowers: My actual favorite song in this show. Eva nails it, it was beautiful and poignant, on the heels of her slow realization that this isn't what Hades said it would be at all, that she's forgetting her name and who she is as she slowly is sucked into the capitalist machine.

Then in here is some more Orpheus stuff, including the ridiculous fight scene where he’s beat up by the workers?

There’s also this subplot that the workers think that if Orpheus can get out, they can get out too, so he’s leading like, a whole little revolution? Except that isn’t really expanded on at all and kind of falls away. It also, imo, takes these weird steps towards turning it into a different story than it is. If you’re pushing that it’s a love story, a love song, so much and then at the last minute paste on this “also a revolution is happening????” and then drop it for the emotional climax like...what are you doing, why is this here?

But also, there's this bit where Hades says "Have a drink!" to Persephone and she says something like "I'm done with that" and it is a real (pun not intended) sobering moment for the two of them. Ugh, I just really love them and the complexities of their relationship.

Epic: Patrick Page's face is very good at acting. The rest of him, too, I guess, but even from the cheap seats, I got SO worked up over Hades' quiet slip into acknowledging the despair that he feels over his inability to connect with Persephone. The guy on Naomi's other side was full on crying, even more than me. It was honestly glorious.

(I have a lot of thoughts about Hades and Persephone, and, to be honest, they’re my main draw to this show. I’m fascinated by their relationship here and the way it’s broken in a way they’re not quite sure how to fix. Against all odds, I’m rooting for them, I want it to work for them, if only because they both seem to remember this time when they were in love and nothing else mattered. I think that’s part of why the parts of this incarnation that don’t work for me...don’t work for me. I’m already more invested in Hades and Persephone than Orpheus and Eurydice, so when I have to work ten times harder to feel for their relationship, it just doesn’t seem worth it, especially next to one that I’m sucked into almost against my will.)

Doubt Comes In: I will give Reeve Carney this--despite knowing how this story was going to end, I still felt the creeping tension and dread in those moments leading up to him turning around. A woman behind Lisa said, "Oh no!" out loud, even.

Road to Hell (Reprise): And this is the other place where I cried, of all things! This number ends up being about how we know that this is a sad story and we know how it ends, but we keep telling it anyway, because that's what stories are there to do. I got weepy, who knows!

I Raise My Cup: So they moved this to after the curtain call??? I....don't know if it works like that, tee bee aitch.

ANYWAY, those are my thoughts, mostly I'm tired of typing this and the deadlines that I started writing it to avoid are looming, SO. I enjoyed it a lot, despite the things that bothered me, but I would probably not spend $150 to see it again. Rush tickets, maybe.

[shanastoryteller]

What's your take on the world ending for the Greek Gods? Or when they cease to be relevant to mankind, and what happens to them? Would Athena, Aphrodite and Artemis take the streets and march for Pride? Would Demeter be the manager at a zoo?

Time passes. The world changes. Temples fall. People nowspeak their names as if they are fairytales.

The gods are dead.

~

Apollo’s chariot lies broken and forgotten in the ruins of acity no one knows the name of anymore. He watches the sun crawl across the skyof its own volition, without him to push it forward.

“Do you miss it?” Artemis asks him, appearing by his side.  They stand at the top of a sparkling glassbuilding, almost the same as ever. She walks among the mortals more than hedoes, she always has, and She’s dressed like one of them. Tight clothes and halfher head shaved, sparkling gems curling up the delicate shell of her ear. Shelooks like one of the teenagers that fill his concert stadiums.

He thinks of the way his chariot threatened to escape hisgrasp every morning, the oppressive heat of the sun beating down on him, theburns and the undercurrent of fear that one day he would lose his grip on thereins and plunge the world into darkness.

Apollo leans his head on his sister’s shoulder. The sunrises slower without him, but it rises just the same. “No. Not really.”

~

Hephaestus’s workshop has evolved with the times – from avolcano base to a modern lab, but always a workshop bursting with creation. Thecyclopes are still his best assistants.

Aphrodite steps over discarded parts and expertly walksaround frantic cyclopes carrying bubbling concoctions. Her dark hair is sweptup in a bun and she wears chunky glasses and a blood red pantsuit that almosthides the fact she’s the most beautiful woman to walk the earth. “I have aclient, try not to blow up the house. Again.”

“Yes dear,” he says, but doesn’t looks away from hissoldering. She hadn’t expected him too. His prosthetics are off and on thefloor besides him, and he’s seated on a too-tall chair to compensate for theloss of height.

She reaches out and carefully touches the corner of his eye.Crow’s feet have started to work their way onto his face. They’re getting old. “It’sthe couple that’s fighting because he wants kids and she doesn’t want to carryany kids but doesn’t want to say that. It would probably be easier if I justtold them to adopt and threw them out the window.”

“Yes dear,” he repeats, sparks flying. A few land on her,but she doesn’t burn. Of course.

She moves her hand up and pushes it through his hair andresists the urge to pull him from his work and abandon her own so they can makeout on his worktable. “I love you.”

Aphrodite turns to leave, but Hephaestus grabs her wrist andpulls her back. He holds up a single copper lily, the edges of the petals stillglowing with heat it had taken to shape them. He carefully slides the stem intoher hair so it sits at the base of her bun. He grazes her bottom lip with histhumb as he pulls his hand back to his side. “Yes dear.”

~

Demeter rages.

She makes imprudent deals to control an earth that no longerfalls under her domain, and she enacts her revenge against the mortals inwhatever way she can. They have forgotten her, forgotten the earth, and intheir ignorance they seek to destroy it.

She shakes the bedrock and splits it open, but still they donot learn, and as the temperature of the earth rises so does her temper.

The sea is not hers to command, her power is of earth and ofearth alone, and even now she gave more than could afford to lose to keep hergrasp on it. But these mortals do not learn.

Demeter goes to the sea and makes an inadvisable bargain. Shegoes to the crumbling remains of Olympus and makes an even worse one.

Typhoons and hurricanes whip across the land. If they seekto destroy her, she will simply destroy them first.

~

Hera sits on a pure white couch in an elegant mansion,smiling for the journalist seated across from her.

“What do you think is the most influential decision you evermade?” he asks, “If you could pinpoint the success of your business to onemoment, what would it be?”

She tilts her head as the light of the camera flashes. “Why,divorcing my husband, of course.”

“Would that be your advice to young women hoping to be as successfulas you?” he asks, “To not get married?”

Hera thinks of thousands of years by Zeus’s side, and howlittle it got her. She thinks of Hestia’s men, and Artemis’s women, of Hephaestus’slove for Aphrodite, of the way Hades softened the sharpest of Persephone’s edges.

She says, “Do not get married to someone who makes you lessthan you are. If you are not a better person for being together than apart,then do not be together. It’s as simple as that.”

Simple, but not easy.

Leaving Zeus was the hardest thing she’s ever done.

~

Persephone isn’t forced to spend half the year on the mortalearth anymore. She goes when she pleases, which isn’t often.

Sometimes she’ll sit by Artemis’s side while she brings anew life into the world and holds the warm, wriggly child first. She visitshospitals and makes the flowers bloom out of season, and spends long hourssitting under the sun and feeling it’s warmth touch her face.

Hades left his realm rarely before, and even more rarelynow. More people are being born than ever, meaning more people are dying thanever. Their realm is massive, comprising of all the dead of several millennia.Hades and Hecate spend their days as always – desperately trying to expand therealm so that they don’t all have to live on top of each other.

“Have you heard?” she asks one day, seated on his desk andleaning across it so he can’t work on the latest draft for another level oftheir realm. “The gods are dead.”

He gives up on attempting to tug it out from underneath her.“Are they? That’s odd, none of them are here.”

Persephone doesn’t bother to hide her smile. They haven’tfigured it out yet. Maybe they never will. But when death comes for them, asdeath does for all, it will be to Hades and Persephone’s door they are brought.Hades himself will usher Gaia and Amphitrite into the underworld, when the timecomes.

That time is not today.

“Darling, I really do need to work on this,” heineffectually tugs on the map again.

She pushes him back into the chair, climbing on top of himand pressing their foreheads together. “No, you don’t.”

“No, I don’t,” he agrees, and obligingly moves his head soPersephone can nibble at his neck. He manages a whole thirty seconds beforegoing, “I mean, I really do, Hecate said if I didn’t have a plan by the timeshe leaves for the mortal realm tomorrow, I’ll either have to wait until shegets back or do it by myself, and I’d really prefer to do neither–”

Persephone kisses him to shut him up, twisting and pushingthem through the realm so they land on their bed. “I’ll help you finish itlater. Focus on me now.”

Hades doesn’t answer, but he does flip them so he’s aboveher and reaches below her skirt, so she’ll take that as agreement.

~

Hestia sits around a bonfire, watching a group of teenagersget drunk and dance around the flames. They’ll never be younger than right now,never feel as much love for each other as they do right now.

She is besides an old man who warms his hands from the firecoming from an abandoned trash can.

She lies on a bed as a girl lights two dozen candles around itas a surprise for when her lover gets home.

She watches a young man make dinner for his boyfriend forthe first time and burn the chicken on both sides. They eat it together anyway.

She sits on the kitchen counter when a sister takes out apie from the oven, made special for her little brother’s birthday.

She is there when a father ticks the thermostat up high infreezing dawn of morning so it will be warm by the time his wife and children awaken.

Most people don’t have hearths anymore. But there is warmth,and love, and for Hestia that is enough.

~

As their names fade from existence, as his name is calledless and less on the battlefields of mortal men, the more Ares sleeps.

He falls asleep in too tall trees and on park benches. Hesleeps in seedy motel rooms and naps in every one of Athena’s libraries. Hesleeps curled up on a chair in Aphrodite’s office, and on the floors of a lotof veteran resource centers. As fast as he can tell, that’s the most they helpany veteran.

Still, his favorite place to sleep is the underworld.

He goes knocking on Orpheus’s door, who is always willing toplay for him. “Hades is here,” Eurydice says, “Would you like to me to go gethim?”

He shakes his head, “Persephone is home. I wouldn’t want tointrude.”

Eurydice and Orpheus share the same look of faint disapproval,but neither of the say anything, for which he is grateful.

He lies in the soft grass of the garden Persephone made, andlets Orpheus’s playing lull him to sleep.

Later, he’s woken by strong arms picking him up and holdinghim against a familiar chest. He doesn’t even have to open his eyes to know who’sholding him. “I can go,” he yawns, his actions at odds with his words as hepulls himself even closer the warmth coming off the king of the underworld.

“No,” Hades says. “Stay.”

Ares lets out a content sigh as Hades presses his lips tohis forehead, and he’s not great about touch, about people laying their handson him and getting in his space. But Hades has always felt safe, felt likehome.

He stays.

~

The gods are dead.

Long live the gods.

gods and monster series, part xiv

read more of the gods and monsters series here

[ask-will-and-nico]

an AU where Will and Nico had a fight and broke up and Will never found out about Carter's existence since the kid grew up in the underworld until he overheard a few demigod souls talking about camp and idk he managed to sneak out and find his way into camp but then since his body isn't used to living in the surface he got sick and Will was the one who had to take care of him and Will can't explain it but he feels overprotective over the kid and then here comes Nico and uh oh. I need it. Please.

I really like this scenario

Looking back on it now, Nico realized that the decision hemade in the heat of a fight with his was-fiancé was not a good one. Most peopleused having a baby to bring crumbling relationships together. Nico? He had thekid and never told Will about it. He used it to get away from Will.

To be fair, the child wasn’t Will’s fault. It wasn’t whyNico and he decided to split, it was simple because they were no good together.Will needed someone who wasn’t selfish and lonely, and Nico needed someone who wasn’tgoing to work a twenty-four hour shift twice a week. They both wanted differentthings and had different goals. It was a wonder they had even stayed togetherlong enough to get engaged, let alone have a baby.

No, none of that was little Carter’s fault, so Nico decidedto keep him a secret. He raised their son in the Underworld, away from Camp andaway from the surface world and other people.

In hindsight, that was a really bad idea.

-

Will routinely visited Camp Half-Blood one weekend a month,just to check up on everything and to help out his young siblings that ran theinfirmary. He was usually only there for a few hours, unless a serious casecame in that needed his skill.

On a particularly slow Saturday, one of Will’s siblingsbrought in a small boy. He was perhaps eight or nine, and he was as pale as aghost. “What happened to him? Who is this?” He couldn’t understand why theraven hair or the small, button nose seemed so familiar to him, but he pushedthe feeling away to focus on the kid. He didn’t seem to have any outwardinjuries, no bleeding or bruising, but his skin was burned all over. He turnedto his sibling for an explanation.

“We found him just outside the boarder. Literally just onthe other side. He must have been about to cross it when he passed out. No oneknows who he is. No one’s seen him before. He must be a half-blood though toget through the barrier.” Will didn’t want to think what would have happened tohim if they had brought him across the border and he was mortal.

“Let’s take care of these burns and get him on a salinedrip. I’m sure he’s dehydrated. We can ask questions later.” For some reason,when one of Will’s younger brothers tried to take the kid and put him on a bed,Will held onto him a little tighter before realizing what he was doing andsetting him on the bed himself.

There was something strange about that child that drew Willin and made him want to protect him.

-

“Will?” Nico had stopped dead in his tracks when he saw hisex-fiancé in the infirmary, tending over Nico’s son. Nico and Will’s son. Only, Will didn’t know that.Carter looked half dead, and after sneaking out of the Underworld and gettingup to the surface, he was half dead. His skin was peeling off in large, redpatches from sun burn, and the IV that was put in his elbow had already causeda dark purple bruise to snake up his arm. Nico was incredibly lucky that Cartereven made it Camp before dying, and that someone had found him. Hades must havebeen looking out for his grandson.

Nico felt his throat close up when Will turned to him. “Nico?”He looked shocked, his eyebrows shooting up above the rim of his glasses. “Whatare you doing here?” Nico wanted to ask Will the same question, but clearly, hewas working in the infirmary.

“I’m here for him,” Nico nodded towards his son, who hehoped was only sleeping. “Carter.”

Will looked surprised again. “Oh? Is he someone you know? A relativeor a demigod you found?” Nico wished the answer was that simple. He and Willhad parted on civil terms, hell, they were still friends, it was a mutual separation,but that didn’t make it any easier to tell Will that Carter was their child.

Taking a deep breath, Nico steeled his nerves. “He’s my son.”If it were possible, Will’s eyebrows shot up even higher. “He’s our son.”

I really liked writing this one

[scriptshrink]

Critique of a Certain Cracked Article - The Bad

Oh boy.  So we’ve seen the myths about mental illness that Cracked got right, and the ones that were partially correct but mostly wrong. Now we’ve reached the ones that legitimately reduced the Shrink to incoherent screaming.

Lock and load, Shrinky-dinks. I’m taking no prisoners.

[Gif: The Winter Soldier loads a grenade into an attachment on his assault rifle while murderstrutting.]

[Cracked image: The charming psychopath is everywhere // Pictures of Negan, Walter White, Dexter, and Loki // They won’t stay charming for long. So many TV and movie villains are portrayed as charming ladies’ men. Even Walter White’s sex life improves after he starts cooking meth. There’s Negan, The Joker, Dexter, Patrick Bateman, Billy Loomis. The truth is, antisocial personality disorder causes a laundry list of symptoms that make a person impossible to be in a relationship with. // source is from the mayo clinic]

...Why is Loki up there? I am confused.

Anyways, people with antisocial personality disorder are very good at manipulating people. They can be very fucking charming, and very fucking good at it.

And I hate the phrase “laundry list”.  Guess what?  You don’t have to have ALL THOSE SYMPTOMS LISTED to get diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder.

You just need three.  Let’s pull three from the list of criteria, shall we?

They lie, manipulate and con others for their own personal gain.

They’re impulsive and don’t plan ahead.

They are consistently irresponsible, don’t fulfill things expected of them, and / or can’t hold down a steady job.

I mean, that certainly describes an asshole, but “a person impossible to be in a relationship with”? Hardly.

[Cracked image - Adrian Monk suffers from OCD. // picture of Adrian Monk hiding behind his turtleneck // Actually, no, he really doesn’t. It’s easier to remember what Monk is not afraid of than what he is. He lists germs, needles, milk, death, snakes, mushrooms, heights, crowds, elevators, public speaking, and airplanes, to name a few. The thing is, that’s not obsessive-compulsive disorder. Those are phobic disorders, which are not related to OCD at all. Actual OCD involves a crippling dependence on repetition and rituals.// source is chicago tribune]

OKAY.  First off. A fear of public speaking IS NOT A PHOBIA. It is a part of Social Anxiety Disorder (Performance Only).

Also, OCD does not fucking REQUIRE compulsions. YOU CAN HAVE ONLY OBSESSIONS AND STILL HAVE OCD. (See my demystifying post here!)

AND GUESS WHAT?  ADRIAN MONK HAS COMPULSIONS.

Performing a ritual because of a fear (such as excessive cleaning / handwashing due to a fear of germs) is a COMPULSION.

Look at literally the first time you see Monk IN THE FUCKING OPENING CREDITS OF THE SHOW.

[Gif - Adrian Monk is walking down a street, and touches a parking meter without looking at it.]

You’d think, because he’s so germophobic, that he would avoid touching those things. NOPE. He has a compulsion to TOUCH ALL THE POLES that he passes when he’s walking.

Sure, he has phobias.  BUT HE HAS OCD TOO.

One last note. 

Those are phobic disorders, which are not related to OCD at all.

Hmm. Yes, that’s correct. Phobias are anxiety disorders, and OCD has its own category. I’m not sure why this is sticking out to me so much. But I’m sure it’ll be important later.

[Cracked picture - In Fight Club, the narrator has a split personality. // image of the narrator and Tyler Durden // That’s not how multiple personalities work. Those with disassociative identity disorder don’t just wake up and realize they’ve been living as another person. They don’t always know about the other personalities, and don’t black out and live as another person. Amnesia and fugue states do happen, but what you see in movies is writers combining them to suit their narrative.// Source is from mayo clinic.]

[Gif of Hades nearly being literally consumed with fiery rage, but calming himself down saying “Okay, fine, fine. I’m cool. I’m fine.]

It’s “dissociative”, not “disassociative”. We’ve had this talk in the last part, Cracked. Do a single goddamn google search so you know how to spell the goddamn names of things.

This part of the takedown comes courtesy of Maxx, one of @dinosaursindisarray’s alters:

DID isn't personalities, multiple or split or anything. That’s not just outdated terminology, it's also an incorrect description, because the alters aren't personalities at all, they're functionally other people.

“Those with DID don't just wake up and realize they've been living as another person.”

k, well, sometimes, they do.

Like, the person might not realize it as it goes on, but then something triggers an 'aha' moment (for some people) that make the symptoms more overt and noticeable, either to the person experiencing them or other people.

There could be a trigger that suddenly floods the person with enough memories to realize what's going on - memories of trauma, or bleedthrough from other alters, memories of that alter being out, etc, and then the person has enough to do research and be like 'something is /wrong/'

[For us], it was like, one day after a lot of stressful shit built up over a couple of weeks, I came out instead of Month and because I was tired and cranky. Her friends noticed and asked about it, I told the truth, and after she came back, her friends were like 'so this thing happened, what the fuck' and Month's blackouts and dissociation started making more sense and she was able to contact a professional to be like 'what the fuck is going on'.

The initial realization did happen sort of at once, which isn't entirely uncommon, especially with psych knowledge more readily available to people. (that can lead to people mistaking shit and thinking they have DID when they don't, cause misinfo, but it's still easier for people who do have it to figure out what the fuck is up and seek help than it was before).

“They always know about the other personalities"

The entire point of DID and OSDD is to keep shit hidden. Keep trauma memories hidden from the everyday life of the kid so they can function and not fucking die. Keep symptoms away from others around the kid so that they aren't abused worse. So this shit is supposed to be kept separate, and if you always know about what's going on, then it’s not happening.

"and don't black out and live as another person"

Yeah. Some people do. Like, full memory blackouts while another alter is out might not happen all the time or with every alter, but it can totally happen with DID. Not OSDD as much, I think, but still.

There are certain alters that Month has NO memory overlap from. Others that she only gets one or two things, others she remembers most of it like watching a movie, others that she remembers it like she was there but really out of it, etc. It's not necessary for every alter every time to be DID, but if there's any amnesia and blackouts between alters (and with trauma memories) then it's DID criteria.

"Amnesia and fugue states do happen"

Yeah, amnesia is that blackout thing you just said didn't happen. Might not be a full blackout but like, amnesia. not remembering. sometimes that means blackouts.

And fugue states are dissociative, but that's a separate thing from DID. Can it happen to someone with DID? Yeah. Does someone have to have DID for it to happen? Nah.

Writers do combine and add shit and dramatize the fuck out of the wrong things (see: m. night) to suit their needs rather than maintaining fact, but yeah. everything else is p much wrong

Thanks again to Maxx from @dinosaursindisarray for taking over for that one. That gave me a nice little respite! Now let’s take a look at the last one, surely it can’t be THAT bad...

[Cracked image - In Black Swan, Nina suffers from a host of conditions. // image of Nina // Real people don’t have them all at once. The film gave Nina the ballerina a cocktail of disorders, including anorexia, bulimia, cutting, and obsessive compulsive disorder, then had her descend into psychosis. The problem is that they’re incompatible conditions. People with psychosis lose touch with reality. Those with anxiety disorders like OCD and anorexia are too in touch with reality. // source is abc news]

[Gif of the only thing that can adequately convey my rage: Tsar Bomba, the largest nuclear weapon ever created, exploding and forming a gigantic mushroom cloud]

Okay okay okAY OKAY OKAY.

The only way I can get through this is to go from minor things to major ones. 

You are right about one single thing here, Cracked. You can’t be diagnosed with anorexia and bulimia at the same time. Congratulations. If someone has symptoms of both disorders, it’s either Anorexia with the Binge Eating / Purging subtype, or OSFED (other specified feeding/eating disorder, formally known as EDNOS - eating disorder not otherwise specified).

Okay. Next up. Unless you’re counting when Nina stabs herself with the glass shard at the very end of the movie, Nina never cuts herself. She scratches herself. But I’ll give you the smallest amount of the smoking ashes left of my benefit of the doubt and say you meant “self-mutilation” here, not cutting.

Those with anxiety disorders like OCD and anorexia

OCD AND ANOREXIA ARE NOT ANXIETY DISORDERS.

Besides, you just fucking said with the Monk one that phobias are completely unrelated to OCD!! PHOBIAS ARE AN ANXIETY DISORDER!!! AT THE VERY LEAST KEEP YOUR FUCKING BULLSHIT LIES CONSISTENT!!!!!!!

On that note, where the fuck did you get OCD from in the first place??? There’s only two things I can think of that even vaguely qualify. 

Nina’s compulsive scratching. But guess what???  THAT’S NOT OCD. THAT’S EXCORIATION (AKA SKIN PICKING) DISORDER.

Nina’s compulsive exercising. HELLO WHY YES THIS IS A SYMPTOM OF ANOREXIA.

People with psychosis lose touch with reality. Those with anxiety disorders like OCD and anorexia are too in touch with reality.

yhghgtfrrghyujuhnukjfgdcghgtfyughyhhjnyh

Sorry about that. I repeatedly smashed my head into the keyboard.

But oh my fucking god.

THE WHOLE GODDAMN PROBLEM WITH OCD AND ANOREXIA IS THAT THEY’RE NOT CONNECTED TO REALITY.

One of the fucking specifiers for OCD is WITH ABSENT INSIGHT OR DELUSIONAL BELIEFS, which means the person in question fully believes that their illogical obsessions are true, you fuckwads!

[[Shrink’s edit - a “specifier” is a possible subcategory of a mental illness. The DSM-5 also two other possible specifiers for OCD: “With good to fair insight”, meaning the individual recognizes that their disordered beliefs are definitely or probably not true; and “With poor insight”, where the individual thinks their disordered beliefs are probably true. It is a grading of severity, not a requirement.]]

Let’s look at a some fucking case studies here. Go ahead. Read them. I’ll wait.

Tell me, Cracked. Do these sound like people who are MORE IN TOUCH with reality?! Will a person really be transported into a mirror dimension if they turn on a light switch??? If they touch something, will their ‘power’ be stolen unless they touch it again multiple times??

Also, is someone with severe anorexia who still thinks they aren’t thin enough even as they’re FUCKING STARVING THEMSELVES TO ACTUAL, LITERAL DEATH “too in touch with reality,” Cracked???

[[Another edit: most people with OCD and anorexia are not at this extreme. But it is far more accurate to say that these disorders involve losing some touch with reality than saying that they are ‘too in touch’ with reality. Seriously though, what the fuck does “too in touch” with reality even mean???]]

Oh, and it’s not like there have been studies that don’t just say that eating disorders and psychosis can co-occur, but that they might be FUCKING LINKED TO EACH OTHER!!!

And now, my esteemed Shrinky-dinks, we come to the most horrendous part of this absolutely atrocious dumpster fire of an article. 

Real people don’t have them all at once.

Real people don’t have them all at once.

Real people don’t have them all at once.

ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTING ME?!?!?!?!? 

Guess what, fuckfaces?  

COMORBIDITY IS EXTREMELY COMMON.  

Let’s look at this one study of almost 2,500 women with severe eating disorders. Guess what they fucking found?

97% had more than one fucking mental illness.

Ninety fucking seven percent.

[Image: “I made a chart since Cracked writers apparently can’t fucking read.” // a pie chart with a very small portion labeled Only ED, and the overwhelming majority labeled More than one mental disorder.]

Schizophrenia and eating disorders may not be a super common combination, BUT IT FUCKING EXISTS.  

PEOPLE CAN FUCKING HAVE MORE THAN ONE MENTAL ILLNESS!! 

BUT I GUESS IT DOESN’T MATTER TO YOU SINCE THEY’RE SO CRAZY THEY’RE NOT REAL PEOPLE, YOU ABLEIST FUCKING SACKS OF FUCKING SHIT.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGHHHH

[Gif - The Hulk fucking annihilating Loki by repeatedly smashing him into the ground, which is what I wish I could be doing to the writers.]

Concluding Thoughts

If I seem calmer at this point, it’s because I wrote it before the rest of this article. I have no doubt future Shrink will still be screaming into the void long after the queue finally gets to this post.

Let’s take a look at how Cracked introduced this article.

It's a losing fight, going up against the myths pop culture perpetuates. But, dammit, someone has to do it.

That someone is obviously not you. Your writers are willfully ignorant and unable to do even a simple google search of the names of the things they’re writing about to make sure they got the spelling right. 

You have failed to do the fucking most basic research possible. 

A monkey in a library could do a better job than you, as there’s an actual chance that in randomly throwing pieces of its own shit, a book might be knocked off a shelf and the monkey might fucking glance in its direction.

Because left unchecked, people go around spewing every dumb thing they learn from clickbait articles movies and shows that are really just using mental illnesses to advance a plot and make a buck from pageviews, instead of teach us anything useful.

You made a few typos. I fixed them for you.

So, dig in, because it's time drop a knowledge bomb on your ass.

How fucking dare you. 

You are not “dropping a knowledge bomb” on us. This article is nothing more than a fucking whoopie cushion. We sit down, all excited to see myths about mental illness being exploded, but are instead given a bunch of hot air that sounds like people’s ass cheeks flapping together.

Fuck you, @cracked.

I hope your pageviews tank. I hope you have to take on so many advertisers that your readers can’t even see your content anymore. I hope no one ever submits to your ‘contests’ again, forcing you to have a staff member make up all the entries for you. I hope your heads get so stuck up your own asses that you don’t even notice that your website has been spreading malware to your readers like the cancerous bullshit your content truly is.

Oh. Wait. 

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