#He usually tells the truth but you shouldn't seek him for truth.

[luminaryra]

People who idolizes him misunderstands or misses the point of his character methinks.

[hazbin-writings-and-musings]

Can I request reader x Lucifer, where she reassures him and tells him that she will always love and be there for him more than anything.

He deserves love, and Lilith deserves to go fuck herself.

I like to think that what's going on with Lilith is some kind of a misunderstanding or will otherwise be resolved, but our dear Lucy boy does indeed deserve comfort in the interim, so have this little ficlet!

Lucifer Morningstar x Reader

Hurt/Comfort

There were times when the King of Hell simply broke. The constant threats to his power, the atrocities committed by his subjects, the weight of all he'd done and his powerlessness to change anything for the better... it was too much, even for him. Once upon a time, he'd been able to share the weight of his crown, and to draw strength from the one he loved most on the days he couldn't think of a reason to get out of bed. Now, she was gone, and those dark days came for him all the more often in her absence. He'd survived, as he always had and always would, but his servants knew not to intrude when he sealed himself away to crumble behind closed doors. They'd learned no one could reach him when he fell into those dark thoughts.

You, unaware of these things, hadn't hesitated to seek him out when you didn't hear a word for over two days. His private wing of the castle had been unnaturally dim and dank when you'd arrived; the magical lights that usually kept it shimmering were mere flickers, and the golden walls seemed to sag, as if the structure itself was wilting under its own misery. A careful hand along the lifeless corridors had been needed to guide you through the darkness and to the King's private chambers.

When you'd opened the doors, you'd barely recognized the man on the bed at first glance. With his disheveled clothes, unkempt hair and lifeless red eyes, it had taken you a moment to recognize your beloved Lucifer, even with all six of his wings lying limp at his sides. You'd been across the room in a heartbeat once the pieces had connected.

Lucifer's surprise at your arrival had quickly turned to pleas for you to leave. He promised that he was fine, that he only needed to be alone, that you shouldn't bother yourself with such things, but of course you hadn't been convinced. The spread of shed feathers across the mattress and deep bags beneath his eyes told you he was in need of help, and you intended to provide it, however you could. Your steadfast refusal to leave finally brought the truth out of him.

"Alright, I'm not fine!" he confessed, sitting upright to face you. Seated on your heels, you gave him space instinctively, wanting him to continue so you might learn what was troubling the man you loved. Though your first guess would have been some unnatural, Hellish sickness, there was something about his movements that told you it was much deeper than that. Such a proud man would not let himself reach a state like this lightly. Grabbing a handful of his disheveled hair, he averted his eyes and took a shaky breath, wings crumpled around him in a ring of crimson feathers like a broken shield. Horns peaked from his forehead as he fought for his words.

"I didn't mean to scare you, I'm sorry, but I just..." he trailed off as a wave of frustration passed through his features, expression pinching tight as he held his face in his hand. Though your heart ached at the sight, you held back still, knowing you needed the truth before you could do anything for him. A heavy sigh passed through his fingers before he raised his head to look out a nearby stained glass window. The mixed colors reflected deeply in his glassy eyes, and he let out a miserable laugh. "Sometimes, it's too much, you know? Hell, the Sinners, the endless misery, and old Lucy's got nobody to blame for any of it but himself."

"Lucy-"

"What am I even talking about? Nobody to blame? I've got nobody, period! I can't! Soon as someone gets attached, it all goes south! Either I've gotta push them away for their own good, or they end up leaving all on their own!" he continued, breaking into a bout of unhinged laughter. All six wings flexed without any kind of unison, sending a fresh shower of feathers over the both of you as he looked upwards and pointed an accusatory finger at the ceiling. "Top marks for the punishment, you Heavenly bastards! It's the gift that just won't stop giving!"

You'd have stopped him were you not shocked into silence by it all. There had always been hints of your beloved fallen angel's deeply buried suffering: smiles faltering without a word, sudden flashes of sadness in his eyes when he thought you couldn't see, the tightness with which he'd embrace you upon saying goodbye... There had just never been enough for you to act decisively, and he always brushed off even the most casual concern for his wellbeing. Now, with his sanity potentially hanging by a thread, you could almost feel the agony that was weighing him down.

"Gotta keep my daughter away for her own good, lost all my friends, lost my wife-!" he halted with an especially pained laugh, and clutched the fabric of his shirt as if wounded by the very word. Suddenly you understood his seclusion all too well. His beloved of the past ten millennia, the woman he'd crossed Heaven for, the mother of his child... Lilith had been his rock, and without her, how could he shoulder it all? The man before you was collapsing under a kind of pressure few could imagine.

Burying his face in his hands, he spoke next as if you weren't present, sinking into himself and the pit of misery he likely thought he deserved. "And sooner or later I'll lose you too! Can't I get a damned-!?"

"Lucifer!" you interrupted at last, grabbing his shoulders in tandem with the shout. He lifted his head in surprise, having never heard you raise your voice with him and likely quite unaccustomed to the sound to begin with. Emboldened by the success, you continued with all the confidence you could pack into every syllable, needing him to hear you and know you spoke the truth.

"You haven't lost me, and you won't!" you insisted, sure enough in yourself that you'd have challenged every Exorcist in Heaven to prove you meant it. Lucifer, still caught off guard by your initial yell, remained briefly unresponsive. Blinking suddenly, he shifted to an expression of apathy before taking hold of your wrists and gently pulling them off his shoulders.

"I want to believe that..." he replied softly, slightly more grounded now. Breath hitching, he slid his thumbs over the backs of your palms, taking a moment just to feel your presence before abruptly letting go. You could sense how hard he was resisting the urge to pull you in. "But there's so much that can happen. My position, my enemies... it's more than I can ask of anyone, and eventually... Well, everyone has a limit, and I can't blame them for leaving when they hit it."

In the short time you'd known him, you'd seen a great deal of the hardships he spoke of, and knew that many would indeed find the constant weight of his position too much to endure. Since being at his side inevitably meant shouldering some of that weight by proxy, you understood why many would find themselves unable to endure. It was indeed too much to ask of anyone...

Thankfully, you didn't need to be asked. You were offering.

"I don't have a limit. Not so long as I'm with you." you said more firmly, taking his hands back in your own. Once more, you looked into his eyes, and spoke with all the conviction your voice could possibly muster. "I don't care about Heaven, or the rest of Hell, or anything. If I'm with you, I can handle it."

"You have no idea what you're getting yourself into." Lucifer replied quickly, almost mechanical in his dismissal. Though he was still deep in his thoughts and deeper still in his grief, you didn't fail to notice how he let his hands remain in your grip. Despite it all, he wanted you, but just wasn't yet strong enough to face the pain of wanting. You didn't mind. He needed time to heal, and you'd shoulder as much of the load as possible for as long as it took for him to do so.

"Well, good luck trying to stop me." you said, ever more defiant. A small but far more genuine chuckle passed his lips, and you pulled him closer, encouraging the exhausts angel to lean on you for an embrace. When his head met your chest, you held him tightly, fingers brushing through his hair just the way he liked it. As his exhausted body eased against your own, you knew you spoke only the truth. "I love you, and I'm going to keep loving you. Nothing is ever going to change that."

He laughed again, sounding like he still believed his luck wouldn't change, but was daring to hope regardless.

"I love you too."

As you held him on the bed in silence, you vowed to every being from the highest peaks of Heaven to the lowest depths of Hell that he wouldn't regret this.

[bunnyreaper]

speak now

pairing - john price x f!reader

wc - 2k

warnings - weddings, possibly unrequited love, exes, post-break up, jealousy, swearing, wee bit of angst

notes - more price because i am falling hard for this man and no one and nothing can stop me? taylor swift inspired as always!

read pt2 here! have a request? drop it on me! or read this fic on ao3!

John Price is well-versed in holding himself back. As an army man and trained operator, he usually has an unbreakably tight grip on his own self-discipline. 

Those traits were things John would hold dear about himself, hold to be true and unwavering—until recently, just under a year ago now.

That's when everything started to crumble.

The task force's recent mission had gone surprisingly well, and John had found his cigar intake was less than usual and his lungs were happier for it—fortune was smiling down on him, until he got that news . 

You'd shown up after your leave, an unmistakable brightness in your step... and a rock on your finger. 

John remembers the way his jaw clenched as he bit his tongue and forced a half smile onto his face. 

"Congratulations, love." He whispers, pulling you in for a hug—he allows himself that much at least, even if this only serves to test his resolve even further. 

The way you feel in his arms, the way you clutch at his neck, the familiar smell of your perfume—it almost pushes him to the edge, almost pushes him to tell you that you're making a mistake. Why won't you just come back to me?

Your bodies fit together so perfectly, like they always did, just for the briefest of moments.

"Thanks, John." You say as you pull away, your voice wavering as you desperately search his eyes for his approval. 

He knows what you're looking for, and with all his aforementioned discipline, he forces his eyes to soften, forces himself into the shape of exactly what you seek as he speaks. "I hope he makes you very happy." 

A truth and a lie. A double-edged sword. 

"Yeah." The way your posture shifts suggests to John you were expecting another response, it doesn't go unnoticed by him as you continue. "Me too." 

The silence stretches on, and John's skin starts to itch, the words start to bubble up and tickle his tongue—they're right there.

He can't say them, shouldn't say them, won't say them.

"Better go tell the boys then." He adds, clapping your arm in a friendly gesture and dismissing you, because he knows you're at least kind enough to give him the courtesy of letting him know first. 

And he urges you to leave because he needs you gone, he needs to process.

"Yeah, gotta ask Johnny to be my maid of honour." You laugh, and the melody only makes his chest ache more. 

***

You'd given him more outs, more opportunities to speak up time and time again, yet he hadn't taken any of them. 

You asked him directly if he would be there long before sending the invites, to which he'd stupidly replied of course before you could even finish your worried thoughts. 

Not only that, but you double-checked his invitation response to make sure he wasn't bringing a plus one, almost as if you wanted him to have someone there. He had no one he wanted to bring. 

You'd gone out of your way to not discuss wedding planning in front of him, and had diverted conversations away from the topic if you knew he was in earshot. You were trying to make this as painless as possible for both of you, and he could tell. 

Why couldn't he just move on? Why couldn't he just be your friend? Better yet, why couldn't he just be honest about how he felt?

"Is this... weird for you?" You ask one day as the two of you sit together in silence as you scribble away inside a planner.

He knew you were working on arrangements for the wedding, but had sat beside you anyway, and had asked questions he didn't really want the answers to just because he knew you wanted him to care, to be okay with it. 

"No, darling." He lies, the words coming out in an instant, the pet name a relic of the past he can't let go of. "Is it weird for you?" 

Suddenly, you can't meet his eyes and your fingers still, no longer writing whatever it was you were. "I don't know. I know it shouldn't be." 

It's weird because it's wrong, John notes in his head. It's weird because it should be us planning our wedding together.

His eyes are fixed on you, waiting for you to look up and hoping you'll finally see the way he still looks at you. Hoping you'll take one look at his sorry state and realise this whole thing was a terrible mistake. 

"What yer talking about?" Soap swings a leg over the chair beside John, severing the moment in two, dashing any hope he had.

You feel the snap too—the awkwardness, the forbidden in where the moment was heading, as you rush to divert Soap from the truth. "Wondering if I can convince you to wear a dress." You smirk.

"Want me to steal yer thunder, bonnie?" He chuckles and winks.

Your eyes roll back, yet a smile pushes through, and whatever you were thinking about is pushed from your mind. "You can certainly try, Johnny boy." 

John excused himself after that, having to take a moment to remember how to breathe. This had all gone too far, and yet he can't bring himself to do anything about it. It wouldn't be right, it would be selfish, and that was the one thing he'd tried not to be.

That's why he'd ended it with you in the first place. 

He'd told you back then that you deserved better, and yet now he wishes more than anything he could have swallowed those words.

Now he's choking on them.

Here he stands, in the front row of the ceremony room, feeling entirely helpless and consigned to his grim fate.

Your future husband is standing just a few feet away, looking fucking smug. John's skin crawls looking at him, just as it always has. 

Was it a legitimate feeling about the man, or just the fact he was dating you? Marrying you?

Regardless, right now all John wants to do is give in to the itch in his fists, lunge across the aisle, and tell him to just let you fucking go, let you come back where you belong. 

Really, he knows he's only got himself to blame—he was the one who let you go, practically pushed you away. Always self-sacrificing, John Price, even to his own detriment, even when it means letting the love of his life walk away into the arms of another man.

An undeserving man at that.  

As John is practically staring daggers into your fiancé's brain, the man stares back, the smug smile now directed at John—because he knows that John is seething. He knows he beat him, got the girl, got the life John wanted. 

John's not entirely beaten. He's still here, after all.

The fiancé's little plan to get John uninvited almost ended the entire wedding. God damn the power of love and compromise, as now John has a front-row seat to his worst nightmare. John hates that he wishes that argument had been the end of it all.

He's braved the battlefield, stared death in the face, and yet this, this feels like the gravest end, the death of something more meaningful than just his mortal life.

The two men's standoff is broken by the sound of doors opening, and the harpist in the corner strumming her instrument to life and filling the room with an angelic melody. It's still not enough to cut through John's mood and spare him from his festering regret. 

The processional goes by without a hitch—the groomsmen, the bridesmaids, Johnny, all making their way down the aisle with fond, celebratory smiles on their faces. John isn't blind to the waver in Johnny's smile when he meets his subordinate's eyes.

And then everyone turns. 

His eyes land on you, his breath vacating his body, his heart lurching, his spirits soaring—you're just so breathtakingly beautiful .

Everything he ever envisioned, when he dreamed of being the one waiting for you at the end of the aisle. 

He prickles, knowing the dress isn't what you wanted, but your fiancé's mother's dream instead. He hates knowing under the ivory gown you're walking on uncomfortable heels at someone else's insistence, with a man by your side partaking in traditions you hate. 

It's your wedding day in name only.

He's transfixed as you move closer and closer, lost in memorising your face as a blissful smile overtakes your features. He wants you to be happy, in many ways, yet maybe his heart is fighting so hard because he knows you'd be happier with him .

Your eyes meet John's as you near the end of the aisle. Your feet stall, your expression drops. Tears streak down John's cheeks, tracking their way to the pained smile on his lips—the sight of which burns right through you. 

He watches as your fiancé's father urges you on, and you take your final few steps to the front, standing before your husband-to-be as you look over each other. Dry eyes, John notes to himself bitterly as everyone in the room takes their seats.

The officiant begins to speak, but the words are beyond John's comprehension, all he can focus on is you—the soft rise of your chest in the lace bodice, the blue pearl earrings dangling from your lobes that were a gift from Johnny. He remembers helping the man pick them out, unbeknownst to you.

What strikes him most is the look in your eyes, yet he doesn't trust himself to accurately assess what lurks behind them—maybe he's just seeing what he wants to see—dullness, pain.

It's nothing like the looks you gave each other when you were still together, not filled with nearly as much love, or reverence, or joy. 

Your eyes aren't filled with tears like he expected, as he recalls one day the two of you laid in bed together, whispering sweet nothings. You'd commiserated in the fact that you both knew you'd be blubbering messes on your hypothetical future wedding day. 

It wasn't meant to be that boy up there, holding your hands and waiting to slip a ring on your finger—it was meant to be him, John.

The world around him comes back into focus as the words ring around him.

"As they say, speak now, or forever hold your peace." 

There's a silence, every thought and impulse in John's mind wages war on itself as he forces himself to his feet and all eyes turn to him. 

He doesn't notice the horrified looks, the concerned shock from the 141 boys, or the way Simon's hand tugs at his sleeve. 

All he's looking at is you, the spark that ignites within your eyes. 

He has to force himself to speak, his voice coming out gruffer, more emotional than anyone who knows the man has ever heard, as the words tumble from his lips. 

"Y/N, don't do it." 

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

Themes in Pit Babe (or why the racing omegaverse show is deeper than you think) - Part 2

Part 1 here. Let's keep this thought train rolling.

Part 2: Self-Worth & Relationships

To start, a few notes about self-worth.

We're all deeply familiar with the common refrains around finding your own sense of self-worth without relying on others. Think of the whole RuPaul "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?" kind of thing.

Which on the surface is a fine message, and absolutely it is a good thing to put time into self-reflection and finding value in your inherent self.

But of course this is real life, and as lovely as it would be to be able to catchphrase ourselves to that perfect place, it is much more nuanced than that.

For one, many of us who have fairly solid senses of self-worth (and I do include myself in that category) will still have days where we wake up and feel like a completely horrible unlovable mess of a person. This is called being a human. It's normal to have ebbs and flows, and peaks and valleys. We're on a journey, y'all, and when it comes to growth and self-actualization, no one makes it all the way to the end.

For two, humans are social creatures, and we cannot help but be influenced by who is around us in our lives. You can have the strongest sense of self-worth in the world, but you end up surrounded by people who treat you like shit all the time - it's gonna have an impact.

And, of course, we have to also acknowledge the impact of being part of marginalized communities, and how insecurities around worthiness can become very internalized by the constant reinforcement of bias and oppression.

All of that to say, who is in your life can be deeply important when it comes to self-worth. You shouldn't be seeking a relationship with someone just to feel like you matter, but the person/people you are around should absolutely make you feel like you do.

Ok, let's get back to Pit Babe!

Pete/Way/Kenta

Ha, no, I don't actually think we'll get a throuple here, but I do find the dynamics really interesting. Both Way & Kenta are characters I would identify as having some of the poorest self-worth in the show, to the extent that they have long been incapable of making their own decisions, and primarily follow orders from Tony.

Way seems to do it more out of despair that Tony's will cannot be defied, while Kenta is heart-breakingly still in a place of needing Tony's approval.

And then we have Pete. Who apparently has a bit of a sad pathetic man addiction. But like I said before, the key to Pete is empathy. He knows their pain.

I'm going to write more later about the critical role Pete plays in the show's theme around self-determination, but for now, I just want to point out how vital he is in showing up for both Way & Kenta, and telling them they matter, and the choices they make matter too.

They've done shitty things, and other characters are rightfully furious and distrustful of them. Pete is the one who said, "you still have value as a human being, don't let Tony define you". He knows what it's like to walk out of your abuser's house and determine a new way to find value and purpose. He's key to Way leaving his place of grief and despair and working to rebuild a path to Babe's trust again. And when Kenta gains the confidence to defy Tony next episode (it's being foreshadowed pretty hard), it'll be because of Pete as well.

Sometimes when we cannot see the value in ourselves, it can mean the world for someone to take our hand and speak it out loud for us.

Alan/Jeff

Ah, my sweet, sweet secondary couple. I love these two. Jeff may have a special ability that is considered valuable, but it's also made him feel utterly unlovable. And then he meets this man, who loves taking underdogs under his wing and giving them chances. And this man is being so kind and so sweet. And even when he learns the truth, learns that loving someone like Jeff comes with more than the usual hardship and challenges, he doesn't hesitate for a single second.

This is part of why I think the age gap works so well here, because this kind of optimism in someone younger might come across as naive. But Alan is not naive. He's experienced, and he knows that someone like Jeff is not going to cross his path ever again. He is going to love Jeff unconditionally, and we can already see the inner shine coming out for our poor vision-addled boy.

Everyone has their flaws, and dark sides. But we are still worthy of loving.

Sonic/North

You thought I wasn't going to give a section to our delightful, one-brain-celled, won't-admit-they-are-a-couple couple?

These boys may be uncomplicated, but their existence as a unit is a big part of what makes them such lovely examples of self-worth. Not all of us are lucky enough to find that person who fits with us like a puzzle piece, but these two have. They may vastly underestimate their importance to each other (see Sonic's face when North jumps in to take hits for him), but the consistency they have in their relationship, and the care they show for each other, gives them such a solid ground for being their authentic little idiot selves.

Never underestimate the value of having a person who you can be your authentic silly weird self with.

Charlie/Babe

And of course, we have the beating heart of our show. Though on the surface he comes across as too-cool-for-school, Babe so deeply needs to feel loved. He is achingly desperate for it.

It's all well and good to tell Babe that he should love himself. That he should feel fine and worthy as he is. But his external success is not enough. He needs intimacy, and trust, and someone to baby the hell out of him. To make him feel like he's worth loving.

But between his own fears, founded by his father's abandonment and his childhood in a cold and neglectful house, and Way's constant reinforcement that he couldn't trust anyone, he was trapped.

And then Charlie shows up. A man who sees no value in himself, but sees the world in Babe. Can you imagine what that experience was like for Babe? To be in a world of ice and have a being of warmth & comfort come and wrap him up in his arms?

As for Charlie, he's doesn't seem to be in a place yet where he truly understands how much he has become Babe's world. But I expect he will get there. He's tenacious and committed. He just needs to realize that others see the value in him that he sees in them.

Self-worth doesn't mean acting strong all the time. We deserve sweetness & softness and having someone we can be a scared babygirl around.

The X-Hunter Crew

Oh, no way am I just talking about romantic relationships here. I love romance, don't get me wrong, but there's plenty of folks who can live quite well and happily without romantic relationships. Romance is put on a pedestal in our society, but it really shouldn't be. Platonic relationships, on the other hand, are incredibly vital, and I wish they were given more status in our world.

And this is what makes the entire crew so important. It's not just about the individuals, or the couples - it's about all of them, as a unit. Call them a team, call them a family, whatever you like.

Because Babe may need someone like Charlie in his life, but he definitely needs the X-Hunter crew. I firmly believe the care he has been given by Alan (and even Way to an extent, when he was in supportive friend mode) is what made him even able to take those first steps with Charlie.

And the family remains critical after he thinks Charlie is dead - the care and love the team give him is vital to him being able to continue functioning. Alan, North, & Sonic give him physical touch and comfort, make sure he's eating, and literally pick him up off the floor when he can't go on.

Just like Sonic & North give each other a stable place to stand, this is what the entire X-Hunter family is able to do for each other. Despite an unfortunate tendency to miss when Jeff gets kidnapped, overall, they look out for each other. Everyone has their place, and knows they're important to the team.

Self-worth is never going to be just about the individual, or the group, but the interweaving of the two. Strong self-worth can help us feel more connected to others, but our connections to others can make us feel more worthy.

A couple of additional thoughts:

Dean let his insecurity override his sense of inherent self-worth. Alan wants to help Dean do better, to push him to grow and develop. And yes, you can debate the sense of putting Charlie into the race, Alan is definitely not perfect. But also denying someone an opportunity is not inherently bad, or a sign of lack of love or trust. Challenge is where growth happens, and people who genuinely want the best for us understand this.

Instead of turning to his family and being vulnerable about how deeply hurt he was, Dean turned away. He let his insecurity and narrow focus on self-worth through racing achievement override everything else. He didn't remotely consider what anyone else might be feeling. He didn't think about what his actions would cost the family long-term. At any point, prior to attempted murder, if he had come to Alan, there would have been compassion. But he pushed it to the point where there was no turning back.

Contrast that with Kim, who knows he has value regardless of whether he wins races, or how he gets treated by his racing crew. He has enough self-worth to not making everything in his life about himself. Which is why he was able to fit in instantly with the X-Hunter team. He's willing to come in, find his place in their little family puzzle, and commit to being there for everyone else just as much as they will be there for him (once we've all moved past their well-intentioned, but failed rescue attempt).

Relationships are essential, but can't magically fix us - we still have to put in the work.

[ihatethiswebsite77]

If Kyle ever found out Cartman liked him he would simply just- not believe it for one second.

If by some chance Cartman decided to be genuinely nice to Kyle upon discovering that his feelings for him go a little bit deeper than just "hatred" that he's called them for all the years they've known eachother. You know just doing little things that you'd usually never see Cartman doing. Enough to raise a few eyebrows but not so far as to say that Cartman is a changed individual. Kyle would immediately catch on to these small changes, and then proceed to be suspicious. Kyle knows that he shouldn't trust Cartman as far as he can throw him, especially when he is being "nice". To the point where he would seek out ways to spy on Cartman just to see what he is up to. And when he finds nothing he will just end up questioning Cartman head on. And if by that point Cartman decides to tell him the truth, that he is being nice because he likes him. Kyle will not buy it. Not even consider it. His reaction will simply be "Stop lying, what is it that you are really scheming Fatass?" And I suspect that Cartman, being genuine for the first time in his life, will be quite thrown off by this. Cartman isn't one to resort to introspection in times of tribulation. He is simply going to be confused as to why Kyle is refusing to believe him when he is actually telling the truth. It fails to occur to him that all the times he has lied led to Kyle not trusting him. He can only percieve the situation from his point of view and that is that he is telling the truth and that that should mean that Kyle will believe him. And so for like a long period of time. Cartman will just put his entire focus into making Kyle believe him. Simply because he is an obsessive individual and he really likes proving Kyle wrong (even tho he likes him). That of course will only lead to Kyle being even more convinced that Cartman is scheming. Kyle's thought process will equate the amount of Cartman's effort, not to him being genuine, but rather to the scope of his scheme. And as long as that's the case Kyle will refuse to believe it. But there is one thing Kyle can't resist to fall for when it comes to Cartman. And that's when Cartman shows genuine emotions of being hurt or upset. After a while of trying to get Kyle to believe him and it absolutely just not working. Cartman gives up. Kyle being Kyle, feels a slight sense of triumph over not letting Cartman's "scheme" get the better of him, but as he notices Cartman talking to him less and less he begins to feel a slight sense of longing, almost as if he misses him. He decides to find Cartman and question him about why he has stopped (to gloat and inquire about his scheme of course, no other reason, or so he will tell himself.) And by this point. Cartman just wants to be left alone, returning to a more dejected and defensive attitude which is meant to cover up some hurt feelings. He entertains Kyle for a bit, but quickly it becomes clear to Kyle that something is wrong. This is not how he saw this scene playing out. And being Kyle. He wants to know more. He can't help but pry. And this time, when Eric tells him the truth. With the memories of the past few months coming at him like a tidal wave, he gets that big moment of realization. "Oh....Oh."

[hsr-texts]

yasss can I get vampire Welt for the Halloween event?

;; ꒰ NOTE/s ꒱🎃 oooo new headcanon that the astral express in this au is a vampire coven. continuation of this part. lmao yes this might just be a whole series atp

;; ꒰ WARNING/s ꒱🎃 n/a, i think.

You waited for a bus at the bus station. It shouldn't be too long until the next one arrived so you should be able to get to your friend's house quick. They were nice enough to let you come over and stay the night without explanation. You didn't even know how you were going to explain this to them. Surely they're going to think you were insane for talking about these strange creatures. No, you could only tell a half truth. There was only a certain extent that they'd believe in your words.

It wouldn't be too farfetched to just tell them someone broke into your house while you were away, right?

When the bus arrived, you spared no time to get on.

Oddly enough, there was only one person on board, an older man. The lights hanging above his head illuminated the bus. His brunet hair had a small streak of white, depicting his old age.

You sat down at the other side of the seats. Unfortunately this bus was smaller than usual and could not opt for a much farther seat from him. Hopefully he wasn't hostile.

A tired sigh escaped your lips, feeling awfully sleepy. It's been such a long night. You just wanted to pass out on a nice comfy bed after all these experiences with strange people.

"Excuse me," a mature voice snapped you out of your thoughts.

You turned to him, feeling anxiety creep up your spine. Oh no, was he also some kind of supernatural being?

"I wanted to thank you for tending to my companion's wounds. And to apologise for the fright this has caused you," he spoke with sincerity in his words.

Your eyebrows furrowed at this. "How did you know that...?"

"After my companion returned, he told me that you might be in danger so I had to go find you." He looked quite troubled by this.

"Who was that guy and why was he looking for your friend?" You asked him, hesitant. Should you be prying into this? Would you be in more danger the more you involved yourself?

Ugh, though technically just by going out of your way to do first aid on that guy, you already did involve yourself in whatever this was. Was there still a point to trying to escape it? Could you even trust this man to be kind to you?

"I'm sure you need rest right now more than you need answers," he told you. "I'll accompany you to make sure you aren't attacked on the way and hopefully the next time we meet, I'll be able to give you those answers you seek."

The bus had stopped and you realised this was where you got off so you left your seat to make your way to your friend's house. The older man came with you. He hasn't given you any reason to suspect him as dangerous so you just let him tag along. At least you felt safer with someone to escort you to your friend's.

"I believe this is as far as I go. You should be safe from this point on as long as you stay with your friend," the man told you, "I think it'd do you well to hold onto that pendant. It'll keep you safe."

You nodded, then realised something. "I didn't catch your name there."

He paused for a moment, then replied, "My apologies, that was a fault on my part. My name is Welt. I hope you stay safe, even if we may never meet again."

"You too, Mr. Welt," you told him and turned around to go to your friend's house.

When you peeked behind you, the man had disappeared into thin air.

[abybweisse]

Hi, I love your posts especially the Undertaker ones!He has been absent from the manga for months And reading your blog somehow makes up it for me😍

My question is, is it possible that Tanaka is not human?! It seems that he is aware of Sebastian's nature. He is also shown to be strong in the manga .For example, when he protected Earl from an attack by his guest in the book of murder arc And was the only survivor of the attack on the mansion on the night of vincest's murder

I might be crazy, but I think it might be something (something other than demon or Shinigami)

I'm glad my blog helps you deal with Undertaker's hiatus in the manga!

What is Tanaka?

Tanaka might realize something is off about Sebastian, but I think that's simply the fact that he is very perceptive... and while Sebastian is around, Tanaka has time to sit back, sip his tea, and observe.

I don't think Tanaka is non-human. Sebastian doesn't even seem to notice there's anything particularly off about him, and he typically leaves Tanaka to his own devices. And even his strength might have more to do with decades of honing his fighting skills. In some martial arts, it's not about size or even brute strength; speed, agility, good timing, and proper aim can be mistaken for physical strength. That's not to say there are no mysteries about him, though.

Usually when I'm talking about Tanaka, it's about his parallel to Leder in Mother3. Leder stands out in a crowd, but he's quiet (he literally only speaks in one scene in the entire game) and unassuming and pretty smart. He's the only one with the background information that Lucas needs, so that Lucas will understand his own role in saving Nowhere Islands... even though it ultimately requires the destruction of his older mirror twin brother, Claus. Leder was the only villager to keep his memories preserved when they started their new lives in Tazmily Village on Nowhere Islands.

I see Tanaka very similarly. He stands out because 1. he's the only Japanese character we've met (so far), and 2. because he was depicted early-on in a super-deformed style. He's very observant while saying very little. When he does speak, he typically gives words of advice or displays humility as the humble servant he's supposed to be. Unlike the newer servants that have been hired-on, he's highly capable of his job (steward) and seems to have played that role since the time that Cloudia/Claudia was the queen's watchdog. (Or at least butler back then.) He's already been the one to explain about the birth of the twins, and I'm hoping he will fulfill his role as the parallel to Leder by giving our earl the knowledge he needs to destroy his own older mirror twin brother, the real Ciel. He is the only person (besides the twins) who survived the attack and fire... that we know of. However, it must be said he claims he didn't recognize any of the attackers, and he doesn't seem to have given our earl any useful information about the attack and fire. At least not yet. I'm still holding out for him to finally give our earl and Sebastian useful information about that day. Perhaps he hopes our earl isn't really seeking revenge; eventually he should realize that's what our earl needs to do.

But I have doubts about him, too, even now. Not that he's something other than human... but about where his true loyalty lies. I think he's sticking around with real Ciel to gather intel on how to defeat him, but we have yet to see him pass along any information since our earl and the others left the manor.

There's also the fact that (when they are reunited at the hospital) our earl asks him if he recognizes any of the attackers, and he says he doesn't. But I'm not entirely convinced he's telling the truth. Somehow, a number of things managed to survive the fire that probably shouldn't have, like the signet ring that Madam Red hands to our earl. Idk if she found it there or if Tanaka did, but I'd have expected the golden ring to melt, particularly if it was on Vincent's finger or in his office (where attackers might have also wanted to destroy evidence to cover up the reason for the attack). Then there's the huge ledger of employees from Vincent's time, as well as a family collection of recipes. I suspect that Tanaka somehow kept a lot of things safe, hidden away somewhere the attackers didn't look and the fire didn't reach. In the anime, Tanaka presents Vincent's personal diary to "Ciel", and I think it has an entry where Vincent says he expects an attack. How he's entrusting Tanaka to keep certain things safe. Well, Tanaka hasn't whipped out any diaries (yet), but so far this is all in keeping with the whole Leder parallel.

Even for real Ciel, he's been the one to pull out that ledger and explain to him (and us) more about Vincent's time as watchdog, even if it's just about the servants. But I believe that to be important! Because I theorize that Polaris is one of the butlers shown in various chapters, like ch133, ch134, and ch151. Tanaka, therefore, likely would have trained him.

What surprises me is that Tanaka worked quite closely with Vincent, and it feels odd (because of that fact) that he wouldn't recognize any of the attackers. Hired thugs, perhaps? Idk. But here he is -- the one survivor who should have a pretty clear memory of the attack -- and he doesn't seem to have any useful information about it. That's fishy to me. Perhaps his recollections are fuzzy because he was stabbed? Maybe he's lying because he doesn't want for his young master to seek revenge? Like... it's a waste of his life to try? Assuming Tanaka doesn't know that Sebastian is a demon contracted specifically to help our earl seek that very thing.

The crackiest theory I have seen (and have had to consider myself) about Tanaka is that he's in league with the queen. There's a joke scene in an OVA for s2 of the anime, where he gets into one of those giant mobile robot suits... along with the queen and Lord Randall. It's absurd! But... what if he was planted with the Phantomhive family two generations ago, and he's been keeping tabs on them the entire time? What if he's only sticking around with real Ciel to report back to the queen how she could possibly control real Ciel -- to finally have a bizarre doll as an "ally"? Either way, he does seem to be genuinely disturbed by real Ciel as a bizarre doll who is so unkind to the servants.

Yana-san once tweeted that our earl is so twisted because he has largely been raised by Sebastian, and she goes on to say how Vincent had quite the evil streak (as Phantomhives are expected to have) and vaguely suggests that some of its expression comes from being largely raised by Tanaka. She cuts herself off from telling us what that means about Tanaka. We can infer that he's also got quite the evil streak. But what does that possibly mean regarding his loyalty? 🤔

TL/DR: I think he's human, but his loyalty is up for debate.

[postwarlevi]

Walk Me Home

content: 1261 words of unedited friends to ? with Jean. I hope it makes some sort of sense.

an- This was very sudden and I didn't mean to write this. Oops. Also I totally associate this song with best friend Jean. Might not quite go but in my head it does!

Hanging out with your best friend on Saturday night like always, waiting for your other friends to head over after their day together, you lay on his bed staring at the ceiling.

"Hey, do you want some..." His voice trails off when he comes back from the kitchen seeing what snacks are available. "You okay?"

It's obvious you're a bit distracted. Even if your eyes weren't a little empty and you didn't hear him coming, he would know something is up.

"Is there something wrong with me?" You ask, eyes still watching the ceiling fan.

Jean isn't sure what you're talking about, but knows the answer. "What? Of course not." He comes and sits down next to you.

"Then why can't...I mean, why aren't I with someone?" Everyone has been pairing off and though you have your friend group, dates for you are far and few between.

Is it you? Is it them? You don't necessarily seek anyone out or go looking for a relationship. But shouldn't one find you? A good one? Not the stupid flings you had in high school that usually left you crying on Jeans shoulder.

You're getting older now. It's your second year of college and it's been months since anyone has even looked your way it seems.

Jean clears his throat, interrupting your thoughts.

You finally look over and see he's trying to move closer. Once you scoot further in he lays down next to you.

It's not unusual. You've shared a bed before, whether just hanging out watching a movie or spending the night, because it was the most comfortable option for both of you.

"You don't need anyone, you know." He tells you, looking into your eyes.

There is nothing wrong with you. You are so much better than any of the idiots who you thought were worth your time. It breaks Jeans heart you don't know this.

"You have to say that. You're my best friend." Even so, you're grateful. You reach over and move his hair back.

But no, there's another thing you don't know. It's more than being friends. And that you need to learn to love yourself first. You have to realize you're worth so much more then the tears they made you cry.

"Even so, it's true." He takes your hand and squeezes. "There's nothing wrong with you."

He feels there's something wrong with him though. Pining after you and not being able to say it. Telling you that you don't need anyone when he wants it to be him.

You lean in and rest your head and hand on his chest. Maybe he's right, and in a way, so are you. You keep waiting to find someone that makes you feel as safe and happy as you are right now.

"I guess you're right, cause that would mean something is wrong with you." You say in a jestful manner, tilting your head up to look at him.

"And we know that can't be true." His false confidence comes into play quickly. He pinches your nose lightly making you laugh and shake him off.

It's true Jean hasn't dated much either. But that's because at some point, he realized it's because he already found his person.

"I just, don't feel wanted." You know you are, by your friends. But platonic love doesn't seem like enough. There's supposed to be more. Why haven't you found it?

"You are, I promise." He puts his arms around you as you settle in again. This feels so natural. Why can't you help him and just see it? Can't you feel it? You know he terrible in romantic situations. But you don't know it's because he can't stop thinking about you.

Screwing it up with any of them is one thing. But he couldn't stand himself if he lost you. So he'll settle for these type of moments. It will sustain him for now. And he hopes that if he never tells you the truth and you never figure it out, that he can somehow move past not having them anymore.

"Hey jerks!" You both jump when your friends Connie and Sasha come in, barging in on your moment. They've seen you have many and don't think much of it. Except wondering when you two are finally going to figure it out. You jokingly make fun of their IQ all the time but there's something they both know that you both seem to keep missing.

The four of you get set up playing video games and watching movies and blowing up the air mattress so none of you sleep on the floor. You go through snacks and laugh at the movies and each other for hours before calling it a night.

Connie and Jean let you and Sasha have the bed, and you sleep on Jeans side, with the air mattress next to you. At this point you feel his bed is more comfortable than your own, and you know the indents by heart from where he always sleeps on his back.

Being a side sleeper yourself, you give a yawn and look at the clock, thinking no doubt you're the only one not sleeping.

Checking in you look down and see Jean in his usual sleeping position, head slanted slightly in your direction. You smile to yourself and hold back reaching out to him.

What would you do without all of them, without him? You don't want to find out. If it was just you together like this forever, you could be happy.

Sleep still won't come, and the more you think, the more you wonder if you could make Jean happy, not just like this, but how you've been wanting for yourself. There's a reason you feel good with him, right? He knows everything about you, and still wants you. He makes you feel safe, and he-

"Hey, you okay?" Jeans voice is there again. You blink out of your head and realize he's awake too now, sitting up and reaching out to you like you had thought of before.

His thumb caresses your cheek as he waits. He caught you staring and is concerned.

"Yes, thank you. I just..." What do you say? "Wish you were up here." Wish he was closer than arms length.

"You wanna come down here? Want me to kick Connie off?" He whispers. He would do it too.

You silently giggle. "No, don't." You lean closer to the edge and dangle your hand over the side of the bed.

Jean lays back down, and finds your hand that hovers just above the mattress. It's a little awkward position, but you both wouldn't have it any other way, unless you were next to each other.

"You make me happy." You tell him quietly. You don't need anyone else. You know why it doesn't work out with anyone else. You don't want it to.

"You make me happy, too. More than anyone." Do you hear it in his voice? That it isn't just friendship, that he always wants to make you happy?

You think maybe you do, but also think maybe it's just in your head. There's no way you've both been missing it this whole time, right?

All you know, is that after a few more hand squeezes and shared soft looks, finally you are able to get some sleep.

Thankfully you and Jean have moved much closer to making Connie and Sasha stop trying to hint to you both.

After all, who to make you happier or love you more than your best friend?

an- Originally supposed to end with it being more uncertain of readers feelings but I couldn't stop myself!

[folklauerate]

Badly Done, an Emma/Kathony Drabble (pt. 1)

Kate let out on breath. Then another. Then, finally, another.

Her words replayed over and over in her mind; she knew she shouldn't have said it, but surely Mrs. Smythe-Smith had know she didn't mean it maliciously, right? Surely the lady had walked away, her daughter in tow, just to get some air? Surely--

"Kate."

He'd found her. How, she didn't know, but she'd long given up asking. It was a truth as old as time itself, a fact of the universe; wherever she went, Anthony would find her.

"Anthony," She said, turning around, brushing her hands on her skirts. Kate cleared her throat, trying to brighten up. "I'll be right back, I just needed--"

"Needed what, Kate?" He bit out, his anger barely restrained. "Needed to think of new ways to shame that poor woman? Needed to stand here and come up with yet another way to bat your eyelashes at Mr. Dorset and volley with his wits--wits he does not have, wits that decidedly do not match yours."

Kate found herself, for once, without the ability to form words. She'd rarely seen Anthony like this; without his composure, his calm, his eyes bright and furious.

Usually, she prided herself on being the only one who could read his moods, the only one able to sort through every twitch of his lips, the muscles of his jaws, and every flashing look in his eyes--his eyes--that gave away what he actually felt. Anthony kept most of his feelings hidden away, ever restrained, always the proper gentleman. But not to Kate, no. To Kate, he was as easy to read as an open book, and she prided herself on the fact that no one else seemed to be able to read him that way.

But if anyone else had walked by them in that clearing just then, they would have been able to read him just fine, his secret language of ticks and tells that only she could decode gone to hell. His face spelled out anger and, perhaps even worse, disappointment.

"Forgive me, I--" Kate swallowed. "I did not mean to cause any harm, I was merely--"

"Merely what, Kate?" He asked, thundering, begging. "What on earth were you hoping to achieve? Perhaps the most aggravating, embarrassing outing known to man? Were you hoping to put poor Mrs. Smythe-Smith in her place, degrade her beyond belief amongst those she should consider her friends? That woman has done nothing but love you, nothing but rave about you to all who might listen, but no; you had to sit there and join in on Mr. Dorset's incessant and uncomfortable remarks. You had to have a better, wittier quip than him at every turn, only caring to make him laugh--"

"If this is about Thomas, you may save yourself the trouble of lecturing me further!" Kate said, beginning to anger herself. An uncomfortable flush of embarrassment, of chagrin, was beginning to color her temper, but she shoved it away, instead reaching for the fire with which she and Anthony would bicker with. It was safer, and she clung to the familiarity like a lifeline.

This fight felt different.

"This is not about Mr. Dorset, or Thomas, as you insist on calling him!" Anthony scoffed, looking affronted. A bright pink blush colored his cheeks and the tips of his ears and Kate knew right then that he was lying.

"You have hated him and belittled him at every turn," Kate said, stepping closer to him, relishing the way that Anthony gathered in a deep breath, steeling himself in her presence. "You have been rude, you have been callous, you have been mean, when he has done nothing to you except have the audacity to--what, exactly? Dance with me when you yourself refused? Call upon me? Show me attentions?"

"You don't let anyone call upon you," Anthony said, lowly. "You don't wish to marry."

"Perhaps I changed my mind," Kate hissed back.

A lifetime of friendship, of love, of games of hide-and-seek, of running around the grounds of Aubrey Hall and Sharma Manor belied their closeness, but this was different. She was a breath away from him and it felt unlike anything else before, the wire of crackling electricity, a live current that always run between them, now close to its fuse. They were dancing on the edge of something that neither of them had dared to address before.

They both knew it.

Anthony's chest was falling with sharp breaths. His gaze dropped to her lips and Kate felt her tongue dart out and wet them, of its own volition.

"No," Anthony said, suddenly. He shook his head, turning away from her, recoiling away from her. "No. Whatever you are saying, what you are insinuating--Kate. Kate." He looked at her, his eyes beseeching, his tone barely restrained, his countenance dancing between furious and something akin to begging. "You must not distract me."

"I am doing nothing of the sort!"

"You must stop; you have diverted me at every turn, refusing to address your slight against Mrs. Smythe-Smith--"

"It is you that must stop, you--"

"Were she prosperous or a woman equal to you in situation, I would not be quarreling with you!" Anthony said, raising his voice a little. "But she is poor, even more so than when she was born. And should she live to be an old lady, she will sink further still. Her situation being in every way below you should secure your compassion! She has watched you grow from a time when her notice of you was an honor to this? Humbling her, laughing at her in front of people who would be guided by your treatment of her. It is deplorable. It is not done. It is not you, Kate."

They stared at one another. Kate was quite sure her mouth was open in shock. Anthony's eyes betrayed his feeling yet again and Kate hardly believed the shame, the betrayal, the heartbreak she saw in them.

"Badly done, Kate. Badly done."

[starsallalight]

@dreamcrs : Jacqueline & Phillip

Phillip was overjoyed when Jacqueline finally came to visit his little kingdom of Bourbon. There wasn’t much to it, but it was his, and that was all that mattered. He showed her the castle; all the rooms and secret entrances he’d play in as a boy. He took her out on horseback and showed her the wineries and the fields of grapes. He even showed her the places he had never shown anyone, places he would go off to so he could be alone and simply think. 

There was the occasional whisper about the two of them, which - considering his reputation -  was understandable. But Phillip kept himself at a gentlemanly distance the entire time. He gave her space, only took her arm when they were in public, only took her hand when it was offered and covered with a glove, and he made sure that they rode on horseback separately, and he made sure to not do anything to besmirch her good name. 

His intentions for her were pure, and his actions should reflect that. He had to be certain of that. 

Now she was leaving, heading back home to Paris, and Phillip was admittedly a bit heartbroken to see her go. But her next words were what truly left him speechless. 

“Jacqueline…you…you don’t mean…” he stammered, the usually suave and charming prince at a complete loss for words. “Oh, can a man, a prince such as me, truly hope that this is a sign that I have won your heart? Even after knowing all you know about me?”

His confusion was endearing, and the Baroness couldn't help but smile serenely. Phillip had been so careful over her stay. Some might even, perhaps, say that he'd been too careful. Even Jacqueline couldn't deny that she was confused and troubled by the distance at first. He seemed to have put up walls that hadn't been there when first they met.

But then, everything in Phillip's behavior and his letters made sense. The way that some of his court behaved made sense. And she could no longer find it in her heart to fault him for his hesitation. He'd been unfairly judged and condemned. And those who had tried to make her feel less than had only wanted her to leave so that they could again try to pursue their own agendas.

Phillip was true, though. And Jacqueline swore that she would remain the same. He'd been willing to fight for her, so she'd fight for him too. She even allowed him to take her horseback riding, despite her fear of the beasts. And those hours turned out to be lovely ones!

Reaching up to lay her hand lightly against his cheek, she laughed. "Is it truly so hard to believe? I won't ride a horse for just anyone, you know."

But just as quickly, Jacqueline's smile faded. "You need to be easier on yourself, Phillip. Trust me. There are those who, once they form an opinion, it can't be changed. Even if it was wrong from the start. Their pride won't let them admit their fault. But it is their fault. Not yours. I seem to recall a certain prince telling me once that I shouldn't discount myself. That I was more powerful than I or others expected, and it was to the detriment of others to underestimate me. I think he may have forgotten his own words. Because the only man I have seen is a truthful one. One who admitted when he was wrong instead of taking the coward's way out. And one who seeks redemption that he shouldn't have to, given the fault wasn't his."

[scribeforchrist-blog]

This Is The Way; Walk In It.

MEMORY VERSE OF THE WEEK

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+ Psalm 96:9 Worship the Lord in the splendor of holiness; tremble before him, all the earth!

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VERSE OF THE DAY

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+ Matthew 10:37-39 Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. 38 Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me. 39 Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.

‭‭=========================

** SAY THIS BEFORE YOU READ; HERE’S SOME CHRISTIAN TRUTHS **

I  AM WALKING IN GOD 

I AM HEARING HIM SPEAK

I AM STRONG 

I AM CONTENT 

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THOUGHTS:

=======================

 Jesus wanted us to know that we shouldn't put anyone before him. If we do, we aren't worthy of him. Sometimes, it is hard not to put family or relationships first because we love our family and our parents, but we have to learn to put them behind Jesus . When we get married, our priority should be Jesus , spouse, family, and everything after, but some people feel that Jesus is supposed to be placed somewhere in between all of that. 

    Still, Jesus clearly states that he should be first, and when we follow him, we must take up our cross and follow him; if we don't, we aren't worthy of him. Usually, what someone wants first is to whom they dedicate most of their time. If we marry someone who thinks God should be second, we must either have a conversation or talk to them about our goals or priorities; as a single woman, my main goal is to place God first.

  1 Corinthians 7:34 And his interests are divided. The unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord and how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things and how to please her husband.

   See, when you're unmarried, you should only be anxious about the things of the Lord and how to be holy in body and spirit, but when you are married, your goal is to please your husband. Our priorities must change when we become married and when we are single. But we, as believers, must always place God first and nothing else. 

   Colossians 3:1-4 If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.”

   Matthew 6:33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

     Both scriptures tell us to put Jesus first and seek the things above; we can't call ourselves believers if we put other things before Jesus . If our heart is into placing the minor things here on earth first, we will tarnish our relationship with Christ. But when we have a relationship with Jesus, it must come first. What I try to do is do everything that is for Jesus or with Jesus first, and everything else I have to do comes after.

    We must not make him feel he is second in our life; the Bible says we don't place anything before God,  no idol. We might not think our actions are idolatry, but they are. We must understand that anything placed before God is an idol, even what we have in our hearts. We must check that our heart is always focused on God because what's in our hearts matters. If we dont love him as we used to, if we dont have that fire or zeal, our heart will turn us away from him. Do you all remember King Solomon, who allowed the women he was with to turn his heart away from God?

    Romans 8:5 For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit.

  Things of the flesh can cause us to love him less when we focus on bills, stress, anger, bitterness, and jealousy. Those things can turn our hearts were we are walking in the flesh, and we forget the things of the spirit, when we give over those things to God. We are focused on him, and we are focused on pleasing him; we make ourselves worthy of him ,to follow him. I want to make myself a worthy servant of him; I want to make sure I am in his will and doing everything in my life to please God; how do we please him? The Bible says this: Hebrews 11:6 And without faith, it is impossible to please him, for whoever draws near to God must believe that he exists and rewards those who seek him.

  We please him with our faith; Romans 8:8 Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.” it says when we are in the flesh, we can't please god, so when we walk in the spirit, we please him, so with our faith and walking in the spirit, we have to make sure we live a life that is pleasing to him, so we can keep him first ,see all of these things and steps are a chain.

When we do one thing wrong , we can break the chain; and we have a broken link we must figure out the best way to fix it and in our spiritual lives that’s connecting ourselves back to God ; every day, we must make sure all of the links are together and that we are doing all we can to walk in a way that is pleasing to him.

   ***Today, remember that God should be the head of our lives and never last; we have so much going on. We seem to think we have everything under control, and something else comes and shows us we don’t . Still, whatever comes, we must please God and keep him first; that's what he wants from us and desires that we keep him linked into our lives. Some of us haven't done it yet, and some of us dont see the point, but the more important picture matters, and that bigger picture is having a fulfilling life in God by following his will and keeping him first. If we do this, we won't have to worry if we are doing something wrong. All we have to do is listen to him when he speaks , saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” ©Seer~ Prophetess Lee

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PRAYER

========================

Heavenly Father, we thank you for today; we ask you today, Father, that you help keep our lives balance and include you more; sometimes our times are mind is on other things, and we ask you to help us find the time to speak to you, to read our word, lord we desire to stay close to you, we desire to please you in every aspect of our lives, lord we ask that you continue to show us your way and your will, we ask that you forgive us of the sins we have done, lord every day we desire to surrender the wrong that’s in our lives to you , please change us and mold us in Jesus Name Amen. 

========================

REFERENCES

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2 Peter 3:9 The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.

+ Deuteronomy 6:5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.

+ Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

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FURTHER READINGS

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Proverbs 4

Nehemiah 8

Joshua 2

Ezekiel 15

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[killerlookz]

𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐖𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐌𝐞 𝐎𝐮𝐭 | Brian Wilcox x Gn! Reader

description: a fic very loosely! based on im not okay by my chemical romance in which, reader often seeks out their best friend brian's help regarding their failing relationship with their boyfriend, but never seems to listen. and brian gets frustrated that reader won't break up with their boyfriend for more reasons than just them not being treated right.

content: lots of angsty teen stuff. vague reference to leaked intimate photos. best friends to "enemies" (using that word loosely) to lovers, angst, cheating, comfort, first kiss, fluff!!! (happy ending)

word count: 3285

"I just don't understand why you have such an interest in us breaking up!" You snapped, staring at your best friend's expressionless face as he sits on the edge of your bed. Suddenly, that changed, his eyebrows furrowed, and he grimaced, shaking his head.

"Why?" He retorted with equal force to you, throwing up his arms in disbeleif, "Because he fucking treats you like shit!"

"Not like shit, Brian. You're being overdramatic." You cross your arms over your chest defensively.

"Like SHIT y/n, I'm not having this argument with you again." He runs a hand through his greasy black hair, the strands lifting up from their spot thrown over his forehead as they fall through his fingers. "You know y/n, you claim to have all these fucking problems, but you don't, everything wrong in your life would just be solved if you broke up with him, and I keep telling you this, and you never fucking listen, I have no advice left to give you, I'm sick of hearing about this, I'm worn out." He rants.

"Brian!" You scold in a weak, faint voice, tears welling up in your eyes. "Well, who's the one treating me like shit now?" You huff.

"Don't start with that," He gestures his pointer finger at you, shaking it up and down. "You told me you wanted my honest opinion, I'm being honest, it's not my fault you don't want to hear it."

"Well you tell me he treats me like shit but never tell me why all you say is to break up with him. I feel stuck, like I have no other options."

"Don't tell you why?- Because you do that for me. Every. Single. TIme you bitch to me." Brian sighs, frustration deep within his heavy breaths. "Come on y/n, don't be stupid, everyone's seen those pictures he took of you."

Your throat goes dry and you swallow viciously while sucking in a hard breath through your nose. Your face contorts with discontent, and your jaw clenches. For a moment you're suddenly transported back to the most humiliating weeks of your life. You can still feel the stares of your judgemental classmates burning into your body, with knowing eyes, aware of parts of you that they shouldn't have been. You can hear their whispers and giggles swarm around your head.

"That was fucking low, Brian." A tear rolls down your face which you quickly wipe away using the entire back of your hand. You shake your head, knitting your brows, "It was an accident-" You choke.

"You and I both know that's not true." Brain mutters.

"Why are you being so cruel." Your voice begins to crack as you can feel a sob coming on. Brian's reaction isn't exactly what you expected, most times you ranted about your boyfriend Brian was usually there to give you a hug, and to comfort you. Sure, he'd usually tell you to break up with your boyfriend, (in less friendly terms than that), but still, he'd at least always offer some sort of positivity.

Brian takes a deep inhale, "Because," then he exhales, "You wear me out."

"Do I?" You sneer, unsure of whether to be more sad or angry.

"Look, I don't mean to like make you upset, or let you down, or whatever," He speaks rapidly, shaking his head and screwing his eyes shut tight. "But I think it's better off you if you just hear the truth."

"But Brian," You sigh, "I can tell you're not telling the whole truth."

"That's on you." He crosses his arms, "I'm not arguing anymore, I have my own shit to worry about, I can't keep dealing with your problems. Try taking a good hard look at yourself sometime, and maybe you'll actually understand where I'm coming from."

You don't respond, only staring at Brian through misty eyes. As your breath falters, trying your best to hold back a full-on sob, you try took look for some semblance of warmth from Brian, just an ounce of comfort. Despite how upsetting Brian's words were, you knew that just the smallest amount of consolation would make you feel better, even if he just gave you a loose hug, that always worked, that always made you feel better, why couldn't he just do that?

"I gotta go," he huffs, "See you around."

You can't bear to look at him as he gets off his spot on your bed. You continue to say silent, your arms crossed around your chest, looking down at your legs. You can hear the sound of his footsteps walking out of the room, and the door closing on his way out, the shutting sound signaling you were now alone was an immediate trigger for the tears to come falling down your cheeks.

That's just it. You were alone.

The one person in your life that you could count on to make you feel better in times of need just walked right out the door without an ounce of hesitation. What were you to do now? Cry to your boyfriend about it? That would go over well. 'Hey babe, I really need someone right now, my best friend just stormed out of my room because he got frustrated about me always complaining about you.'

You sighed, throwing your head back on your pillow, your tears now running sideways down your face. The worst part is, you knew Brian was right. You had to break up with your boyfriend, and that would solve all of your problems. The two of you weren't in love, you weren't even sure that you had ever been. But with no boyfriend, how could you possibly deny your actual feelings for-

"Y/N! DINNER!" You heard your mother scream from the kitchen, cutting your thoughts off completely. Shit, you quickly wipe away the tears from your eyes, not in the mood to be questioned on why you were crying over dinner. You take a few deep breaths in and out, preparing yourself to act at least somewhat normal before heading out to eat dinner.

You walked into the kitchen and your mom greeted you with a confused look on her face,

"I thought Brian was staying for dinner."

-

It had been a few days since your argument with Brian, and you hadn't talked to him since. Truth be told, you weren't doing well, not at all. The last few days had been full of nothing but tension and tears for you. Every time he'd pass you by in the hallway you were ignored, he wouldn't even spare you a glance. He'd usually avert his eyes and turn to talking to Amber, or one of his other friends.

It hurt Like, really fucking hurt.

You couldn't stand the feeling it gave you every time he passed you by, the way your heart dropped, and your stomach flipped. You couldn't count the times you felt yourself nearly throw up in the last couple of days alone.

Not having Brian around was far worse than any heartbreak you ever experienced. It had only been a couple of days, and it wasn't like he loathed you or anything, but you'd almost felt like a part of you was missing without him around. It felt stupid to say, he was just some greasy teenager, but you never really realized how complete he made you feel.

Your boyfriend, on the other hand, seemed happier than ever. Glad you finally ditched that "loser" Brian. He'd never really enjoyed having Brian around, and you usually had to fight to try to let him hang out with you whenever your boyfriend was around.

You sighed, placing your head in your hand as your arm rested on your desk. Your last period teacher was ranting and raving about something, you couldn't have been less interested. You picked up your heavy head and raised your arm way up.

"Yes y/n?" The teacher shot a look your way.

"Can I go to the bathroom?" You ask, desperate to get out of class.

"I'm in the middle of a lecture-"

"Okay, but I have to go to the bathroom."

"Fine. Go." She responded reluctantly before getting back onto her tangent.

You're relieved the teacher did not put up much of a fight, and begin to slip out of the classroom, into the dismal halls of the school building. You had no real destination, you didn't actually have to use the bathroom, only the desire to roam around aimlessly to try and clear your head. The poorly-lit, decaying classrooms filled with far too many people you didn't like tended to get pretty stuffy really quickly.

You tried to think of nothing else other than the sound of your footsteps as your beat-up old vans hit the dirty tile floor with every step you took. You let the quiet thudding sound sort of put you into a trance until you heard a voice around the corner.

"Oh forget them," You heard an all-too-familiar voice say, "They'll never know." It was your boyfriend. You stopped dead in your tracks, not really wanting to be seen by him and have any sort of interaction, but you were also very intrigued as to what he was talking about. You inched closer against the wall he was on the other side of, just around the bend. You were meer feet away but he had know knowledge of your presence.

"Are you sure?" You heard another voice say, a girl this time, you recognized the voice as a friend of your boyfriend's that had hung out with the two of you from time to time.

"Positive, they'll probably be home crying tonight or something, too emotional to even realize or even care where I am."

You felt your muscles stiffen at the sound of his words, certainly, he wasn't talking about you, was he?

"Don't be a dick." The girl giggled.

"I'm not baby, it's just the truth, they're such a downer. I need some fun in my life."

Baby? You listened onwards, feeling your blood begin to- not boil, but simmer. You were nearly certain he was talking about you, and why was he calling her baby?

In a surprising move of bravery you peered around the corner, hoping to god the two of them didn't see you. As you peeked just your head down the hall you could see them standing a decent distance away, the girl with her back pressed against a locker, and your boyfriend hovering over her.

Some fucking nerve he had. Doing this in public? Not even having the decency to break up before going after someone else?

You couldn't even find it in you to be sad right now, you bit down on the inside of your cheeks, surpressing a cackle of utter disbelief at what you were witnessing.

"Okay," The girl smirked before catching her bottom lip in her teeth, "I'll see you at 8 then?"

"On the dot." Your boyfriend smirked back.

"See you then."

Your boyfriend leaned down from his spot standing over her, pressing a kiss onto the girl's cheek. If only he knew you were here to see this right now.

You quickly swung your head back from around the corner and began heading back the way you came, hoping that neither of them would also walk this way and run into you.

Your legs trembled under you as you walked, and you feared that they might give out any second now. Your breath shook and you could barely get a decent-sized breath in or out.

God, if you'd just listened to Brian and broken up with your boyfriend when he first told you to none of this would have ever happened, and you'd still have your best friend.

You walked right past your classroom, unable to functionally act like a human, right now there would have been no way that you could sit down for the remainder of class and not freak out. You swallowed hard, trying your best to repel a sob, or maybe a laugh, perhaps even somewhat of both. You had no clue how to react, what even was the proper emotion to witnessing your boyfriend cheating on you? Probably being sad. But you didn't feel sad, no, not in the miserable cry yourself to sleep sort of way. Not in the keep your head down low not talking to anyone sort of way. Instead, you felt like you had to jump out of your own skin. Nothing in your body felt right, everything was uncomfortable. You couldn't stay still, your jaw, your breath your hands, they all shook.

There was a bubbling in your throat, not of the painful lump that precedes a cry, but a burning, one that could only be soothed by screaming at the top of your lungs, a sensation that could only be quelled by a presentation of your flaming anger.

You postulated that perhaps you'd probably be sad later, once you experienced the comedown of all this disbelief and anger. And you dreaded that too, you didn't know which emotion you'd prefer, both seemed positively unbearable.

On your aimless journey down the hall, you passed a clock hung up on a depressingly beige wall, glancing up at it with nearly teary eyes you realized there were only five minutes left in the day. A slight relief. You blinked away the forming tears in your eyes and began your shaky journey back to the classroom to get your things.

"Thank you for deciding to come back." Said your teacher, giving you a disappointed glare as you walked in the room.

"There was a line." You grumbled, heading back to your seat at the back of the room.

Defeatedly, you threw yourself back into your seat and anxiously watched the clock. Time had never seemed to move so slow as it did now, each passing second hand teasing you, bringing you closer and closer to the end of the day. Even with the minute amount of time left that burning uncomfortableness inside of you made you want to just get up and run out right there.

Then finally, the shrill ringing of the dismissal bell. It's ear-shattering high pitched tone was absolute music to your ears right now as you nearly ran out the classroom door, and pushing passed the hoards of people in the hallway.

You'd never felt so claustrophobic in your life, the dozens of students lining the hall suffocated you as they prevented you from the sweet release of being out of the school building. You pushed, and pushed, and pushed, being an absolute nuisance to everyone you came in contact with, but right now you really did not care. Then finally- you stepped outside.

The contact with the fresh air was not the cathartic release you were hoping it to be. Rather, you stepped outside and realized you no longer had anything further to look forward to, nothing else that you thought perhaps could free you of this feeling. You ran a hand through your hair, tugging on the strands a little out of pure stress. Your eyes roamed the courtyard of the school, looking out on the sea of students leaving for the weekend.

Then- you spotted him, Brian, walking alone to his car. Fuck it. You needed to do something. Talk to someone. You began walking in that direction, your legs picking up at an unreasonably fast walking pace.

You made your way to Brian's old, beatup car, he hadn;t noticed your presence right outside his passenger window. You peaked in the dirty window, you could see him in the drivers seat, head down with various CD cases strewn upon his lap, his shaggy hair falling in his face.

You tapped on the window, feeling the sun-warmed glass under your knuckle. Slightly startled Brian looked up, his face turning to one of confusion, or maybe it was disgust as his eyes locked with yours. You were having none of it. You knocked again.

"Open the fucking door Brian." You barked through the glass. Shaking his head in perhaps confusion, he leaned over the console and pulled up the lock on the door. Before Brian could even sit back down completely you were tugging on the door handle, and flinging yourself into the passenger seat of Brian's car.

"What the hell, man?" He asks as you get in.

"Save it, Brian." You snap.

"What did I do?" He asks, throwing his arms up defensively. You turn over to the side and glare at him, "Point taken." He sighs sitting back in the driver's seat. "Whatever," He shakes his head, "What are you doing here?"

"I've sat in your car a million fucking times why are you questioning me now?" You're vaguely aware of your harshness towards Brian, but part of you feels like he maybe deserves it... just a little.

"God, rough day?" He asks unsympathetically,

"I'm okay." You look him dead in the eyes. Brian turns to look at you,

"This is okay to you? Aggressively throwing yourself into my car and snapping at me after not talking for four days?"

"I said I'm okay Brian." You insist, not really keen on telling him the whole cheating situation, nowhere near being in the mood for his 'I told you so's'

"Don't fucking tell me it's him again."

You sit up a little from where you're sat in the passenger seat, inching closer to Brian's face,

"Listen to me," You raise your eyebrows, trying to emphasize your words, "I'm telling you the truth, trust me, Brian, I'm okay- I mean it."

Brian sits up in his seat as well, bringing himself closer to you. His face is so close to yours, you're looking him deep in the eyes, trying your absolute hardest not to start crying to him.

"Look man, I know I said I'm sick of hearing your problems but you don't have to lie to m-" Suddenly he's cut off when you lean forward, pressing your lips to his. What the fuck am I doing? Why the fuck did I just do that? You thought. You pulled away quickly, that sick feeling entering your stomach again after realizing what you did. You could feel yourself on the verge of throwing up. Your eyes darted around the car quickly as Brian stared at you in disbelief, you felt compelled to run out of the car, to leave here, and never ever show your face in Cody ever again.

"Oh my god Brian I'm so sorry I don't know what I was thinki-" Suddenly you were the one being cut off this time, Brian's lips pushing against your own. A sense of relief washed over you with this kiss, his hand comes up and holds your cheek. Brian's kissing is sloppy and inexperienced, and you can't help but to notice the faint smell of french fries on his hoodie sleeve, but you don't mind at all.

It's a little overwhelming, actually, the way he's holding your face close to his, the way your lips work together, literally everything else that's been going on the last few days. You feel a tear roll down your cheek, and Brian must have felt it brush up against one of his fingers because he pulls away, your face still cupped in his hand.

"Are you sure you're okay?" He asks again.

"Im not," You sniffle, shaking your head, "I'm not okay." Tears falling down both of your cheeks now. Brian raises his other hand to your face, wiping the stray droplets away with his thumbs

"Do you want to talk abou-"

"Please just kiss me again." You beg desperately.

"Of course." He nods eagerly.

a/n: finally a non eddie fic!! i've been on SUCH an mcr kick recently so i obviously had to write for my fav emo boy :,) ... sorry if this fic is a little uhh... teen angsty... but look at brian... that man is the EPITOME of teen angst. hope everyone enjoyed :)

[hanjifuck]

.˚｡⋆ ༊ .˚｡⋆ stray kids ideal types - series .˚｡⋆ ༊ .˚｡⋆

bang chan version ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ

based on their birth charts! s2

✧*:.｡. t/n: i'll be using SIDEREAL astrology on this one. it's also important to say that when we talk about romance in astrology we have to fully analyse the couple's birth charts individualy at first and only then apply compatibility analysis so we're able to check out the synastry overlays.

✧*:.｡. t/n: kinda proofread. <3

the basics:

someone who has sun in virgo or in the 5th house;

aquarius and gemini moons are the ideal but aries moon is also great, libra is good, leo and sagittarius moons are a maybe. capricorn and cancer moons are absolutely a no;

venus in virgo, scorpio, cancer or capricorn;

mercury in virgo (or capricorn/taurus).

obviously there's way more aspects to look into to see if a relationship would work but i'd rather not go too deep into it right now.

a person who's patient and honest. he takes his time into getting to know you before he commits. so, when he does commit, there’s no room for him to change his mind. he's worthy of a romance novel. he will make sure that the bond is strong and stable for both.

someone who's good at communicating, reading people's intentions and has a good sense of humour. he tends to use his voice to express himself and he's such a sweet talker when it comes to romance. communication and intellectual rapport are his thing, so it's important for him to have someone who he can talk to. so good at covering it up his intentions or even lying (but you guys didn't hear this from me), except that he tends to tell the truth in almost any and every situation. he loves to tell stories and to see the smile and hear the laugh of the loved one.

a partner who's not afraid of commitment and long term relationships. listen to me, this man is looking for a soulmate connection, someone to pay him due attention. he's a romantic at heart and has a strong need for love in his life, it being his ultimate driving force, a passionate lover and he knows how to maintain the flame of true love. without love he would be nothing.

someone who knows how to talk to people and be pleasant during social situations.

someone who's highly vulnerable and revealing with him, ONLY.

a person who's adventurous. he does not know how to stay still, he wants to expand and has a hedonistic type of approach to how fun should work in a relationship. he can't be more happy then when his able to impress you with his creative side. if you like an intellectual approach to life you will love it as well.

a positive person, someone who's optimistic and make things seem easy.

an intense, bold, strong-willed and powerful person. would love a partner who knows how to stand up for themselves. he wants besides him a person who can make the world kneel in front of them.

someone who will do anything to seduce him.

someone who challenges him (in a good way, ofc). he loves to be dared as he sees it as stimulating, a reason to try even harder, to put even more effort in. he's prop to play mind games (maybe manipulating, even if it's not his intention, since he makes everything sound so wonderful). often fueled by curiosity and a desire to control/possess others for himself *only with those who he actually loves since he sees romance/sex as super meaningful, on a soul level thing, and focus 100% on the person he loves.

emancipated, educated and high intelligent individuals. a pretty face will never be enough, sorry. virgo sun in the 5th house? pfffff this man is a genius.

someone who's younger or appear youthfu/has a youthful personality. he needs a eager-to-learn-and-to-enjoy-life-with-him person. channie's prone to take up the dominant/leading role in a relationship as well. it's like he has this strong pedagogical (?) side to him (and once again my theory that he would be a teacher if he wans't in the entertainment business is proven right ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

a person who's not avoidant or keeps to many secrets. if you keep stuff away from him he may misinterpret things quite easily.

a partner who's as clingy as he is. channie does not stand being alone for too long. he needs your warm touch and gentleness.

a freedom-lover type of person, someone who seeks inspiration and fun. he's extremely motivated and light-hearted, very flexible and adaptative.

a person who knows how to encourage him. basically someone who knows his intentions almost better than he does. he has a need for validation and appreciation cus sometimes he fixates on certain ideias but doesn't have what it takes to go further with it.

someone who would enjoy having kids, taking care of them, educating them together, and is family-oriented. he would love to have a partner who's as excited as he is to mentally stimulate his kids. very inclined to having lots of children. he wants someone who has the potential to go all the way to the finish line. man's want commitment.

a person who's charming, "feminine", sensuous and romantic. he's not interested in a person who is crude. he has strong yang energy on his birth chart so it's a good thing if your chart is yin energized. the whole thing about lighting up candles, putting on some romantic music is important to him. may be enticed by a person who has an overly sexual appearance (SPECIALLY if you have scorpio sun or rising), femme fatales (the energy, not necessarily a woman) are just right for him. maybe someone quite mysterious as well.

someone who's painfully monogamy. you can trust him on remaining faithful, as long as his partner do the same. trust is important for him and when it comes to love, it's absolutely essential. if you don't want to lose him forever you shouldn't break his confidence. he rarely has any interest in casual encounters, not being the type to take different people home every night. loyalty is such a turn-on for him, cute. he wants to be only yours, so he expects the same from you, not wanting you to even look at other people. the more committed to him, the deepest his love is.

someone who's not shy. he’s a non-conformist, private person and rather do his own things, away from the public eyes. remember when he said he usually likes "dark things"? man wasn't lying. he knows exactly who he is and what he likes even tho society might shun him for it. however, he does not care. <3

a person who's devoted and dependable, who's also ready to work by his side. someone who knows how to handle his possessiveness and maybe even suspections. just be honest with him and patient enough to put him at ease, assuring him that he's the only one who deserves your attention and love. his jealousy may be really tricky.

okay, this dude has mars and venus conjunct pluto in scorpio. do you guys know what this means? i would DIE to make this man love me!!!!!!!!! help. he will be SOOO OBSESSED WITH THE PERSON HE MARRIES, IT'S INSANE KDISADJADNAUS HELP ME.

[dreamsmpimagnes]

Hey, hope you’re having a lovely day!! I was wondering if I could request headcanons (or any other format that’s easier to write) where the reader is c!dream’s adopted daughter and how the reader’s relationship with the others would be like considering they’re the daughter of a bad person. Especially if the reader is genuinely trying to be a good person. Sorry if this is a weird request!!

Okay, this is actually the most fun I've had writing one of these in a while! Since the character limit is 6, though, I'll be choosing 6 characters who I think would have the most interesting reactions

*While I usually do alphabetical order, we’re doing the order in which they found out (for coherency sake)

c!Alivebur, c!Puffy, c!Ranboo, c!Sam, c!Sapnap, and c!Tommy Meeting Dream’s Adopted Daughter

c!Sam

He's the one who found out first

Among Dream’s various books and stories he’s written, one was a letter to you (Dream knew you’d never read it, but writing it made him feel better)

He told the other guards of the prison, no one else, so he’s not sure how it spread through the SMP, but he only told them so that they could keep an eye on you

He didn’t think you would try to break your father out or anything, but under the odd circumstance that you did, he’d want you on file and eyes to be on you already

It really is just a precautionary measure

As more and more of the server find out about it, he can’t help but to feel guilty

Sticks around you for a bit and offers to help whenever he can

c! Tommy

As soon as he finds out, he gets incredibly nervous around you

He heard that you were his birth daughter, but, even though that wasn't the case, he wouldn't treat you any better if he found out the truth

He talks about you with anger and frustration, using you as an outlet for the abuse he faced at the hands of your father

Whenever he sees you, though he backs away, his eyes widening

His brain makes up a bunch if scenarios about you harming him, terrified that you'll do the same thing to him

He, generally, tries to avoid you and anyone you associate with

Refuses to let Tubbo go anywhere near you

Tells Wilbur about it all during a stress induced rant

c!Alivebur

When Tommy told him, he got excited

Even though he’s never really cared much for you, being indifferent more than anything, he’s almost offended that you never told him

The next time he sees you, he acts like you’re literal royalty

After all, you’re the darling daughter of the man who brought him back to life! The man who gave him purpose

Goes to talk to you immediately

Wants to know absolutely everything about you and Dream

He tries to get you to join him and Ranboo in the hamburger van

Doesn't really realize if he's making you uncomfortable about it

If he does and you tell him you are, he'll be genuinely confused

Dream is so amazing, why is it so bad that you're his daughter?

c!Ranboo

When Alivebur told them, they actually took it incredibly well compared to some of the other people

While they froze for a second, their mind racing, they soon realized that you weren't your father, and you shouldn't be treated like such

They didn't even know their own parents, so why should they base your character off of who yours are?

Sure, Dream was a bad person and pitted them against their friends, stringing them up like a puppet, but you didn't

They don't try to find you to talk about it or even ask the next time they see you

They just leave you be

Does let it slip to Techno, Phil, and Niki during the latest Syndicate meeting

c!Puffy

Considering she doesn’t even know if you’re aware of the rumor being spread around the SMP, she’s seeks you out to tell you

She gives you a quick rundown of who all she knows that knows about it and asks for the facts of the matter

Various different iterations of the story had been passed around, so she want to get the facts from you

And, technically, since she's been Dream’s parental figure for many years, you're her granddaughter

She offers to let you move in with her and call her 'Grandpa Puff'

If you decline, she requests weekly meet ups with you to go get lunch or something similar so that she can bond with you and make sure you're doing alright

You may not have your father around anymore, but she doesn't want you to be completely alone, especially at such a stressful time

c!Sapnap

Uh... What?

He had known Dream for years, even going back to their childhoods, and yet he’s never heard anything about you

While he was one of the last people to find out, he was actually one of the first people to actually go to you about it

He wanted to know if it was true

He tries to be very delicate when asking you about everything, though he most likely fumbles through it

If you're a minor, he awkwardly asks if you want to move in with him in the Kinoko Kingdom so he could properly act as an uncle figure to you

If you decline, he'll give you a quick "you know where to find me if you need anything"

If you accept, he'll allow you to move in with him and his fiance, acting a bit more on the uncomfortable side for, at least, the first few weeks

[a-flickering-soul]

EverymanHYBRID And Deer In Media: In Five Parts (click for individual comparisons)

Deer are both a symbol of fragile purity and the untamable wild–here, we examine deer in the context of man, where deer come to represent the urge within us to abandon the conscious ego for the subconscious id. The deer is a symbol, too, of rebirth, of transformation, of shedding and regrowing its weapons each year. To kill, to be reborn, to choose to be monstrous through our proximity to humanity. Is there not something pure in surrendering to animal instinct? If deer are the twin themes of innocence and wildness, then we in turn are the juxtaposition of humanity and monstrousness–our actions made monstrous by the attempt to temper them with humanity.

(transcript, analysis, and sources below cut)

1: The Secret History & EverymanHYBRID--Bodies

The Secret History, on the killing of a man in a hallucinatory bacchanal:

"'Henry,' I said at last. 'Good God.' "He raised an eyebrow. 'Really, it was more upsetting than you can realize,' he said. 'Once I hit a deer with my car. It was a beautiful creature and to see it struggling, blood everywhere, legs broken ... And this was even more distressing but at least I thought it was over. I never dreamed we'd hear anything else about it.'"

EverymanHYBRID, "Ryan and the SEVENTRIALSOFHABIT":

A shot of a deer's dead body at the side of the road at night, looking crumpled and not quite right. The captions read: "Jeff: It's a fucking deer, dude. (Evan: See it?) Yeah. Something cut its belly open. (Evan: It cut its belly open the wrong way.)"

Parallels drawn:

Consider this one an amuse-bouche. Henry draws comparisons between a man he killed to a deer he accidentally hit with a car, mildly naming the incident ‘distressing’. There is a lack of human empathy, of guilt over killing a fellow man. In comparison, Jeff, Evan, and Vinnie at this point in the EMH plotline have not yet become hunter or hunted–they have not yet been warped by their roles in this iteration and can acknowledge the upsetting nature of the events that befall them. Henry has tasted that amoral nature and is less human for it, more visibly willing to shed that veneer of attempting to care about other people. Jeff, Evan, and Vinnie have not yet reached that point.

2: “Whoso List to Hunt”, EverymanHYBRID, and The Secret History--The Chase

"Whoso List to Hunt", on hunting a fabled white hind:

"I am of them that farthest cometh behind./ Yet may I by no means my wearied mind/ Draw from the deer, but as she fleeth afore/ Fainting I follow. I leave off therefore,/ Sithens in a net I seek to hold the wind./ Who list her hunt, I put him out of doubt,/ As well as I may spend his time in vain. And graven with diamonds in letters plain/ There is written, her fair neck round about:/ Noli me tangere, for Caesar's I am,/ and wild to hold, though I seem tame."

EverymanHYBRID, "Slushpops and Surprises”

A shot of white text on a black page, "[Enter the tragic hero and his unattainable companion.]"

The Secret History, on hallucinations experienced during the bacchanal (bold for emphasis):

“‘Camilla said that during part of it, she’d believed she was a deer; and that was odd, too, because the rest of us remember chasing a deer through the woods, for miles it seemed. Actually it was miles. I know that for a fact. Apparently we ran and ran and ran, because when we came to ourselves we had no idea where we were.’”

EverymanHYBRID, “December & early January”:

A shot of Vinnie, hand covering his face in shock, as he sits and listens to Jessa’s last voicemail before she went missing. Jeff can be seen in the background, listening in silence. The captions read “[Jessa’s voice, recorded]: Steph, that thing you were talking about, I saw it...he’s real, he’s right here. What the hell does he want? I think he’s following me.”

Parallels drawn:

The deer symbolizes wild nature, something that man cannot obtain, touch, or capture without abandoning something of his own humanity. Similarly, deer represent the unattainable prey. Noli me tangere, says Caesar’s unattainable deer– touch me not, no matter how hard you may attempt to catch me. Jessa of EMH is deemed the unattainable companion and Jeff’s driving force to discover the truth behind the situation they’ve been placed in–it is Jessa, dangled in front of him after she goes missing, that leads Jeff down the path that inevitably leads to his own death after uncovering too much. The deer is to be chased, to be hunted, and never captured. Camilla from The Secret History believed herself to be a deer during the same hallucinatory bacchanal that cost a man his life, and led her brother and friends on a chase spanning miles. Jessa was hunted by an unknowable force, then used as bait to draw her partner down the path to his own death. Unattainability, the shape of something fleeing in front of you, elicits a powerful reaction to follow, to hunt, to chase. Jessa fell victim to that reaction. Camilla, and the white hind, did not.

3: The Myth of Diana and Actaeon, EverymanHYBRID, and The Secret History--Madness

The Diana and Actaeon Fountain at the Caserta Royal Palace:

The detail of the fountain shown depicts the pivotal scene in the myth of Actaeon and Artemis, where Actaeon, mid-transformation into a stag, is killed for the slight of viewing the goddess Artemis nude.The sculpture shows the transformation in no mercy, plain in its depiction of Actaeon’s pain and terror, and the simple ferocity of the hounds that surround him.

EverymanHYBRID, “May & June”:

A shot of Jeff, blood spattered across him, speaking with a shocked and angry tone. The captions read, “Jeff: Why were we doing that? That was...that’s not what we were looking for. We knew damned well that wasn’t what we were trying to kill. (Vince: Close enough.) It was a deer! It was a fucking deer! I tried to pull you off, you tried to punch me in the fucking face!”

The Secret History, on the Greeks’ view of beauty and terror (bold for emphasis):

“Beauty is terror. Whatever we call beautiful, we quiver before it. And what could be more terrifying and beautiful to souls like the Greeks or to our own, than to lose control completely? To throw off the chains of being for an instant, to shatter the accident of our mortal selves? Euripedes speaks of the Maenads: head thrown back, throat to the stars, ‘more like deer than human being’.”

Parallels drawn:

Most depictions of Actaeon, sculpture or painting, usually show him with antlers or a deer lower body, leaving his head and face a recognizable human shape. However, the sculptor here decided to subvert expectations and leave his body human, giving Actaeon the animal head of a stag. The loss of control and the descent from human to animal is not glorified or made palatable by the mere addition of a crown of antlers--there is only the one constant, fear, that follows him all the way down. Madness may be defined as a loss of control, and there may be something beautiful and terrifying in feeling your sanity slip through your own fingers. Jeff, Evan, and Vinnie are overtaken by brief, inexplicable madness and tear apart a deer as they come dangerously close to uncovering exactly who and what is hunting them. They skate close to seeing soemthing they shouldn't see. It is only Jeff who looks up, shocked by the blood on his hands, and voices his fear. Vinnie, apathetic, lets it go. But Evan, houndlike and irrational, defends his kill.

4: EverymanHYBRID & Hannibal--Warnings and Temptation

EverymanHYBRID, “May & June”:

A shot of Evan, spattered heavily with blood, standing with shoulders caved in protectively. His left hand is raised to his mouth, with his hair covering his eyes, and he is licking the blood off of his fingers.

“Shot Through The Hart, and Hannibal’s To Blame” (bold for emphasis):

“In my post about ravens, I talked about how it’s not always easy to tell what the Ravenstag really means. Is it evidence of the Hannibalesque elements of Will’s soul? Or a warning of those parts growing within him? Does the Ravenstag urge Will forward on his journey, or warn him of what’s to come?”

Hannibal, Season 1, Episode 1 “Aperitif”:

A shot of the Ravenstag, staring directly into the camera with one hoof up, as if to approach. There are black feathers interwoven with its pelt and its eyes have an uncanny shine.

Parallels drawn:

On a naturalistic note, deer are skittish creatures. They have thin legs and a sleek body, made for running. A small head and big eyes, placed wide-set to see coming predators. Keen ears. They are ready at any moment to sense danger, warn others, and flee. When a deer does not move, it is either safe or sizing up its options, either accepting where it is or preparing to run. Deer, staring directly at the viewer, come as a sympathetic warning to flee or, in its dark eyes and firm stance, a temptation. Me tangere, they say. Come closer. We are one and the same. In Bryan Fuller’s Hannibal, the commanding presence of the Ravenstag serves as both a warning and a beckoning temptation to turn his feet down the darker path. It is otherworldly, black-furred and feathered, and yet a warning of events rooted in the real world--does Will understand what danger he is in upon meeting Hannibal and take the warning, or will he ignore it, sensing that same darkness in himself, that same potential for corruption? In EverymanHYBRID, it is that same killing of a deer that hints at that same potential for darkness growing inside Evan. He licks at his fingers, animalistic, fully ignoring his own Ravenstag warning signs for the delight of the hunt. Is he Evan anymore? Or is something else growing inside him?

5: EverymanHYBRID & Hannibal--Predator and Prey, or the Final Act

EverymanHybrid, “:D”:

A shot of HABIT, looking up a set of stairs with one foot on the bottom step. In one hand down by his side, he is holding a knife. His posture is tilted forward, poised, ready to spring into action, like that of a hunter.

“Shot Through The Hart, and Hannibal’s To Blame” (bold for emphasis):

“The idea of deer as symbols of rebirth also stands out to me. Hannibal is a series obsessed with becoming and transformation. People start one way, and are reborn as something completely other by the end of the show. There’s even a character sewn up into a deceased pregnant horse in the hopes that when she’s released, she will be literally reborn as something different. It’s thus a neat fit, this significance of deer with the themes of the show.”

EverymanHYBRID, “:D”:

A shot of Jeff, looking up and to the side with an expression of caution and fear. His eyes are unnerved, squinting as, from offscreen, HABIT’s hand plays idly with his hat.

Parallels drawn:

The first and final incarnation of the deer is, of course, prey. Beyond and before any symbolism of innocence and wildness and warnings, deer are prey animals, to be hunted and devoured. And yet, in keeping with the concept of contrasting symbolism, deer are not helpless. Yearly, they shed and regrow their antlers in a transformation of horn and blood. At the climax of EverymanHYBRID, the final reveal, the final transformation, comes to fruition. HABIT, formerly Evan, takes its place as the Hunter, the archetypal predator, with Jeff shown most prominently as the Prey. Jeff’s luck has run its course, with him in the chair as the sacrificial prey-victim to fall to HABIT’s knife. HABIT, reborn, reiterated, made incarnate through Evan’s unwilling transformation, is poised to start the hunt. This is the big reveal, the crux of the transformation, Actaeon caught mid-transfiguration and the bloody sloughing-off of velvet humanity to reveal perfect and gleaming antlers. This is what it comes down to, time and time again. The hunter and the hunted. The wilderness embraced and the wilderness captured, and the monstrosity in that act.

Works Cited

Callimachus. Actaeon and Artemis. C. 220 BC

Fuller, Bryan. “Apetirif.” Hannibal, season 1, episode 1, NBC, 4 Apr. 2013.

Koval, J., Caffarello, V., &; Jennings, E. (Directors). (2011, July 12). May & June [Video file].

Koval, J., Caffarello, V., &; Jennings, E. (Directors). (2012, October 9). :D [Video file].

Tartt, Donna. The Secret History. Penguin, 2006.

Uhminuh. “Shot Through the Hart, and Hannibal's to Blame.” Read the Rude, Wordpress, 19 July 2020.

Wyatt, Thomas. “Whoso List to Hunt, I Know where is an Hind.” c. 1530.

Honorary mention to this fanart by @/rrhaes that started this whole spiral

[bored-storyteller]

(Little general warning: I understand that my mind when it comes to Uta imagines the reader as human by default, so if you don't like it please specify it in the request)

Hi Anon!

I'll be honest, this time I'm not satisfied. I am not convinced that I have written anything that can really make you feel emotions. In my head, I had imagined a more bloodthirsty scenario (I like to write this kind of thing with him) and also with Uta appearing as Kakuja, but then all that violence seemed out of place if not requested so I calmed down a bit the things. Despite this, I still have the desire to write something similar. Anyway, I'm sorry, I'm willing to rewrite it if you don't like it.

64- Tokyo ghoul, Uta x human! Reader

From the prompt list

3- "What would you do if I didn't come back?"

Uta sometimes raises doubts, lately more than usual.

It's not unusual for his eyes to scan you and linger on you. He stopped listening to you for a while, while you talk to someone on the phone.

You look annoyed, you are declining an invitation, perhaps, or otherwise you are giving up on something. For him, of course.

His lids tighten slightly around your figure, while his cheek rests lazily on the back of his hand.

"You should really go with them." His quiet voice reaches you as soon as your call closes. You turn to look at him, the only other living being besides you among all those lifeless masks.

You smile at him, as you always do.

"I wouldn't go anyway." Your answer is ready and prepared. How true is it? How much of what you do and what you don't do is for your free choice, and not to protect him or yourself? He is not even convinced that he fully understands how much you have to give up on your human life.

He doesn’t doubt that maybe at the beginning it was worth it, for you. But now, how much is true affection, yours, and how much just habit? A risky, deadly habit.

Your fingers gently pick up the sketches he left on the table, you flip through them as you always do and he looks at you, from his sitting position.

He does not believe that you are forced to be with him, or that you are afraid of leaving him, but there is the doubt that your love is slowly being replaced by the everyday life of your relationship.

"What would you do if I didn't come back?"

His question was asked casually, almost as if he were pointing out to you how the rain made the afternoon air humid.

Your gaze suddenly lost and upset for a moment almost made him go back on the question. "Forget it" he was about to tell you, yet his teeth bite his tongue and that ambiguity remains suspended between you two.

"What does it mean?" You ask him, and a slight uncertain smile is painted on your fragile lips, almost asking him to joke "Why are you asking me this question now?"

Your uncertain voice always makes his heart tremble. When he feels you scared, or fearful, it's somehow as if he shares the same anxieties as you. Yet, deep inside him, the most selfish part of him is happy if you at least suffer a little for him.

"I would come to look for you ..." You murmur in response when you realize that he is still waiting. Your words are so light and fragile that he himself cannot find the courage to push them further.

It’s obvious that you answer like this, that you there in front of him have neither the desire nor the courage to really imagine yourself in a situation in which Uta will not come back into your life. That's right, he's sure you're fond of him, but do you still really love him? Do you love him as in the beginning?

The alleged absence of him scares you, but if it really happened, perhaps, in the real situation, you would notice the less weight on your shoulders, the absence of the chains that keep you tied to constant danger.

But maybe you can't see it now, not if you don't have to change your daily life.

. . .

Uta never believed that his heart could make itself so present. He feels it throbbing violently against his ribcage taking away space for his lungs to breathe, he feels it forcefully pumping the blood into his veins and wrists so much that if you focus you could see the vibrations under his skin. He never believed his body could go into such a state of agitation, even his distorted kagune wriggled inside him to be able to get out and release that tension.

The smell of your blood was enough. This was enough, and the world around Uta had darkened and there was for him that dangerous red trail that led him to you. And even if his face seems calm and focused, the terror of never seeing you again grips him.

Why are you there in the first place? You don't have to be there, he warned you. He always warns you, to keep you safe - to keep you from seeing.

It's hard for him to hold back when his mental state is in that situation. When he needs blood, fun and killing, when he needs it to stay who he is. And as much as he would like it, not even your presence can allay that need.

Indeed, you are a stimulus. Your eyes that silently scrutinize him from your hiding place are a charge for him to do better. He might say to himself that it's his revenge on whoever hurt you, but the truth is that he's now free to vent that part of him in front of you too. That part of him that he always tries to keep you safe from, that part of himself that you shouldn't be there for, not where the Clowns were operating.

That part of him that will make you go away.

It is at that thought that calm him down. Him, the world, his heart. Suddenly, when there is nothing but him and his dirty hands, your presence in that place becomes concrete, almost heavy.

His eyes seek you, hidden as you are in his half of the battlefield.

"It's me ..." the sweet note of his voice echoes in the calm after the storm "It's just me."

It's just him. No hero ready to save you, only Uta in his natural madness.

Your head pops out from behind your makeshift barrier, and he frantically approaches to check on you. Thank goodness you are fine, thank goodness the wound is not serious, thank goodness you seem not to feel too much pain, thank goodness ...

"Uta!"

His attention is on you, on your worried eyes.

Oh, you're still there. You didn't run away. You are there, kneeling in front of him, and he is leaning over you looking at your injured shoulder, but you don't seem to care.

"What are you doing here?" It wasn't actually the first question he wanted to ask. He had to ask you if you were okay, what that idiot had done to you, he had to take care of you. But all he could think was that you didn't have to see, you didn't have to imagine reality.

Because the weight on your shoulders would have been too much, and you would never come back.

"You never came back." Your voice again interrupts his thoughts as they wriggled again like agitated snakes in his head.

"You never came back, I came to look for you."

You say it with a look so clear and sincere that Uta for a moment is almost afraid to say anything. It seems that nothing is wrong with you in any of this; neither the danger you ran, nor the wound on your shoulder, nor his inhuman violence. You were looking for him. You were afraid that he would never come back to you, and you looked for him, as you said.

You did not remain silent waiting, you did not hope for a while to get rid of him, nor did you plan to remain without him. Instead, those words of him had remained inside you to the point of putting you in danger.

The truth is that Uta had thought he was not enough for you, or rather that you considered him as such by now. After all the sacrifices, after all the burdens you carried because of him, he really thought that you had stopped loving him, wanting him to be yours.

Perhaps this is because Uta has stopped loving himself for a long time.

But you got there, because you want him back, and if he hadn't arrived, whether you are aware of it or not, it would have been you who did not come back.

You wouldn't be back.

"Forgive me." His voice is little more than a whisper as his palm gently wraps your cheek "Does it hurt a lot?"

He pulls you close to him, into his arms. He needs to feel you, feel your warmth, your weight, your cold hands on his body. His face bends into the hollow of your neck, inhaling your perfume, smelling you not as a prey but as something of him, to be loved and protected.

"You won't go away, will you?"

Your question is innocent as you curl up in him, likewise seeking your presence.

His nose cuddles against your temple, continuing to perceive you with all possible senses.

If all renunciations of your human life are your choice, then he's not going to stop you from doing it.

"Not as long as you want me."