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glitchcat808 · 13 days ago

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HELLO TO ANY USER ON THIS SITE WATCHING THIS POST, I HAVE THEORIES TO SHARE!!

Extra, extra!! "AO3 Fanfiction Makes Average Individual Crash Out!!" Fresh and new, everyone!

I have come with news about my recent favorite fanfiction, "Till Weirdmageddon Do Us Part" by @selfless-solipsist. I come here to tell you audience about my experience with the fic so far for you readers out there to enjoy!!

I am Glitch, more know as Detective Chaos (by the author, truly a blessing btw) and let's begin!!

FOR ANY CHEATER OUT THERE WHO HAS NOT READ THE FANFIC AND WANTS TO KNOW THE ENDING TO EVERYTHING, THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS TO THE FANFIC. IF YOU DON'T WANT YOUR EYES TO BURN AND YOUR BRAINCELLS TO DISAPPEAR, READ IT FIRST, YOU PSYCHO!!

Here is my brand new updated collage of all the photos i will talk about:

(Oops! Who wrote things on the pages?? Was it you, Mr. Kumquat?? Do i need to kill your family again?)

And here, we have the result of a 2am discovery. This was made in the comfort of my bed, a tea and bread on my left, and my trusted alibi, my star plushie to my right.

First and foremost, we have the wedding contract. This started it all, this made Bill want to shoot himself with a glitter gun.

(For now, i will name the reader as "Wife", i do not want to write a paragraph that long okay? I have school tomorrow...)

On the first chapter, we find out that Wife and Bill have just been married and are living together. Bill, as his former self, decides to torment Wife with teasing and verbal foreplay (or what can be considered foreplay in his mind). And as the reader, i can only say this is perfect for me. I love when people get how a character acts and thinks, it's like they cannonball'ed to the character's brain and played with their veins. And i love it.

And who could have guessed, the Axolotl (praise him) makes this marriage not by choice, but by a vision. He saw that Bill could change, as Wife just made him get the jackpot on "Ruining Bill's Sanity 3000™". Finally, the Pines Family got off their feet by the news. Mabel made confetti poppers filled with pink pudding, Dipper tried to rub his eyes of the nightmare his mind could be making up, Stan tried to escape the country (for the six time that week) and Ford only facepalmed with the disappointment a teacher has when he founds out everyone on his class didn't do their homework.

So not only do we get the chaotic meltdown of everyone in the Shack, but we also get this certificate of marriage by the two supposed lovebirds:

Sigh, how lovely. The most non-parable, and totally-a-mistake couple has been done. I take a sip of my tea as i watch the regret on the universe's face when they see what have they done.

I love how there is different colour letters to identify who's who. Just shows how much detail there is on here. And it surprises me, because this is only the start!

BUT WAIT!

What is that phrase up there?

Hmmm, what do, what do....

"Oh, i know! That looks like Cipher, right? Let me just decode it!" I say with joy.

...turns out i couldn't...

I don't know why, but i tried to copy what it said on FOUR.DIFFERENT.WEBSITES.

AND NOTHING WORKED.

So i just had to do it by an image and let me tell you...it was not easy

As you can see, i was losing my marbles...

Fortunately, i tried another website. And it finally worked!

...okay, not much there. But it can still count for something, right?

...

Right?....

Anyways, more chapters in, there was another cipher on the notes. So again, i needed to decode it!

But i didn't learn my lesson...

Plant a "Dumbass" sign to my head, i deserve it.

So what did i learned?

¹ Check if the codes are cipher BEFORE doing anything else

² The writer is good at making my brain roll around like a hamster ball

³ I'm a total idiot

Getting that out the way, i now have some theories to talk about.

As we all now, there has been journal related chapters about Wife, and i want to learn more about them.

Did she had a life before moving to Gravity Falls? Yes. Was that life happy? I don't think so. Will we know more about Wife in future chapters? I'M BEGGING PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLE

So my theory implies that Wife was a total menace where they used to live. She was the one that stood out, the one people pointed and judged about, the town's freak, if you will. And when paranormal stuff happened around her, she decided to move out. She tried to find a place to stay, at least for a few months, but everything backfired. So her last resort was the town we know and love. And seeing the weirdness, the law-breaking logic, the strangeness of it all, she stayed. Wife finally found somewhere she founded safe, but turns out that she wasn't living there, the town is living with her. And Gravity Falls is now trapped with not one, but two menaces. Axolotl save us.

Next up in the list, "Ford and his crippling crush on a married woman"!

So, for what we know on the journal pages of the Wife herself, Ford has been trying to discover what does Wife bring to the town, and what her motive of her stay is. Like most of us curious people, we also want to know about Wife (or is that just me?). But Ford breaks the limbo bar by a kangaroo kick and decides to "study" her, making a whole page of some of his scenes with her:

This made my boots jump, my wig fell off and my eyes to get out of their sockets. FORD, EXPLAIN WHY YOU WOULD ASSUME SHE IS A WITCH?? DOES A 2000s LOW RISE JEAN AND A BOB SCREAM WITCH TO YOU?? (this is not an insult i love the authors art please dont burn me alive while rats eat my eyes 💔)

Getting out my "Magnifying Glass of Mystery™", i can see that Ford got attracted to Wife by her abnormal aura. He wonders why did she just appear out of nowhere, which makes him do more research. After some time, he concludes that she is just weird.

But that made her more interesting....

So when Bill founds out? Oh, he was MAD.

Because what if you got back into the mortal world, got happily (???) married with someone, and then your crazy weirdo ex tried to make your lover fell to their knees for him?? Yeah, i would be mad to. And now he tried to change your WIFES opinion about you, trying to give her reasons on why this was a bad idea and that you should have him instead? Oh yeah, that's the last straw.

And when you and your ring-tied person get to a family dinner you didn't ask to be in, he decides to still change them?? Hell to the no, brother!

I know Bill is not the best partner out there, but can you really blame him? He has been with at least the amount of people you will need to fill two whole cults, and i bet those relationships didn't last that much. And no, four millennias doesn't count. So he will may or may not be batshit at keeping a relationship. And now that he is married he may try to get that relationship afloat, that is, as afloat as a fruit basket on top of a washing machine can be. All for a change to be free of a prison full of lavender scented candles and a half-filled crayon box.

So there is a small reason he can be a little bit crazy jelly of their partner, which i totally get, by the way. But still, he needs this, he needs to keep it together and make his wife stay with him.

Because then what? Is it all gonna be worth the time? Is it all going to be fine with him? Will the Axolotl be happy about it?

Who knows...

Third thing i need to talk about is Bill falling harder for his wife!

Since Bill didn't know shit of his wife, he needed to impress her. As of now, he has to act as a college student working on a coffee shop and getting the minimum pay with his wife.

But then, then after some meltdowns and milkshake fights, he realizes that he really is trapped with her, isn't he? He knows that he should have thought of this better, should have thought he has changed.

And that scares him

It scares him how much she has made him more stable on the mortal world, how she has made him realize there is still someone out there who will stay with him to just listen, to hear him, to feel him.

It was something he never thought would happen, it was a whole nightmare. A critical headache, a feeling that was the same as dust in his eye. But know that he can truly see her real emotions, he starts to feel safe around her.

So when he tries to play it cool, not only does he make it worse, but Wife understand that he is afraid of the future. He is afraid of feeling genuine emotions, feeling attraction, feeling love.

Last up, "The Happy Chaos Family"!

After a whole rollercoaster of emotions between this two characters, there are hints between photos that show a small and tiny triangle.

This got me wondering "Wait, is that a reflection of Bill's past?" But then i scratched the idea because that did not make sense.

And so, i made a lot of theories with this new information:

¹ Bill goes to the past (somehow) and brings his old self

² There is a last survivor from his universe he didn't know about

³ A possible baby is made??

With this theories, i decided to check the notes/ chapters to see if i could come up with something.

And when i was looking around, my heart dropped to the floor.

I realized something

THIS IS BILL'S WORST PHOBIA

BILL IS ON THE THERAPRISM AGAIN?? BUT HOW?? WHAT COULD HAVE HAPPENED TO MAKE HIM GO AGAIN??

I was jumping on the walls, checking chapter by chapter to see if i could come up with something. But i don't know if i was blind or not, but at the time i couldn't find ANYTHING that helped me. So i was trying to come up with theories and solve ciphers, screaming "THE VOICES" as i hanged red string all around my room.

So i only had to wait...

And wait...

UNTIL

THE DINNER CHAPTER

Oh Mabel, you just made me crash out to an expired Dorito. Pat pat for you, clap clap.

THIS.THIS RIGHT HERE.MADE SO MUCH SENSE.

What did Bill learned after destroying his dimension? Don't trust nobody, you can always do things without anyones help, and maybe that he has family issues now. But the thing that stayed with him the most is that he was alone.

He was alone

He had nobody, he had to learn how to survive on his own, he had to confort himself.

He was alone

So what happens when you find a hot bitch (affectionately <3), marry her, and then get the idea of kids??

Oh boy...

And here is the display for "I have never been in a stable relationship and change makes me scared" individual. This unknown creature eats dreams at night, so watch out!

I am going to hit my head on a ceiling bus, this is amazing! This chapter didn't make me scratch my face like a wild cheetah and break my table with the force of a trencher, absolutely not!

...heh

Anyways, getting on topic.

I had a theory almost canon, if i can call it that. There has been a comfirmation that Bill is going to have a baby in the future, RIGHT IN OUR FACES! WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED??

And not only that, my theory is almost true, which is a win to me! Good job Detective Chaos, back at it again. I rub dust off my shoulders and continue sipping my tea.

So now, the only thing we need to see is if there is something else that can make my theory true. So i waited a little longer, and yep!

Here it is!