#Help I realised I've already started in the same way with another thing

[womp-womp-waa]

Ben's life ended when be was very young. When he didn't know how beaten he would be, how his parents would look at him with pure hurt and pain, how his little sister looked at him with confusion and tears in her eyes. His life ended when he learnt that they were sending him away to go live with his cousin, separated from the people who he loved and cared about.

He thought that he would never be happy again. And then he lived with aiden and his life started again. It started when Aiden gave him a bracelet that he made for him when he first arrived. When they both started watching the high school musicals together. When they learnt everything about eachother. Aiden was a brother to Ben. Someone for him to take care of and Aiden would take care of Ben.

They were there for eachother like no one else was. They had eachother and that's all they needed.

[luveline]

Hi lovely!

Can you please do one where Hotch and Reader are in a fight and it gets heated and he maybe raises his hand just because he’s shouting and she flinches?

He would be prepared to FIGHT whoever made his honey feel that way 🗣️🗣️

💘

for you my sweetheart. fem, 1k

cw implied past domestic violence 

“It was right,” you're saying, on the defensive, your voice molten, “it was the thing to do!” 

“It wasn't.” Hotch closes the door. “It wasn't the right thing to do, it wasn't even close.” 

You realise, under everything, that he's right, but you couldn't help yourself, you had to try and save the day, had to swerve the SUV. Plus, he's done it himself, and you both know that. “If Monikie got out of that exit we never would've seen her again.” 

“There were roadblocks on the I–46, and I don't think I have to tell you that you could've gotten a lot of people seriously hurt–” 

“You've done worse,” you deny.

His expression, broadly furious, narrows into something sharper, “And that is my decision to make, but you report to me.” 

“You can't seriously want to act like a boss now,” you say. 

The room isn't overly large, and so you stand close to one another with no need for shouting, but your voices begin to overlap. Hotch is so angry. It isn't like him to yell at you, his voice strained. 

“You can't truly think that the decision you made today was the right one. You need to calm down, and you need to listen to me when I tell you that this was the wrong move. We'll talk about it more tomorrow.” 

“You're shrugging me off?” You could laugh. “You can't be serious. Every member of this team has done the same, or worse–” 

“But they're not you!” His voice peeks, his hand jolting out in front of his chest, flat-palmed in incredulity. 

You're really quite close to each other. 

It's not his fault. 

You step back, desperate to be away from the movement, the hand, because it doesn't register as his hand, only there's a chair behind you and a table behind that and you bump into the plastic with a creak and screech. You're righting yourself as quickly as you're tripping but Hotch is already moving away. Three steps that feel like a gorge. 

Your heartbeat soars. 

“Are you okay?” he asks quietly. 

“Of course.” You breathe out funny. It's not his fault, but there's something wired in your brain now, and it knows that the first strike isn't the last. Your hand shakes as you brush at an itch under your eyes. 

“I'm not mad,” he says. 

“You sounded pretty mad."

“I've changed my mind.” He gives you a long hard look, and then he moves to the office door to open it before returning to his initial position. He's given you an exit route. “I'm not going to hurt you,” he says. 

You put your hands on your hips and bend at the waist, breathing out hard. “Fuck, I know that."

“You thought I might.” 

“So profile me,” you say, panicking still, face hot and itchy all over. “Tell me why.” 

“Someone's hit you before. Enough to anticipate the second blow.” 

“But you knew that already, didn't you?” 

Your ears get cloudy like there's water in them and you can't stand the feeling of Hotch's gaze on the back of your head. You force yourself into a standing position and try to ignore what happened. 

“You're unfairly angry with me,” you say. 

Hotch just shakes his head at you. 

“It's… It's not a big deal,” you say, quieter. He already knew because of course he did, every member of the team gets checked. You have records, and he's in a position of power unlike most, he could've read them like the morning paper. 

“Why would you say that?” 

“I can still do my job.” 

“I wasn't going to suggest you couldn't.” 

Then why… why is he looking at you like that? You're humiliated enough, and his gaze is so… so soft. So sorry. Tears gather warm behind your eyes and your chest aches like you've been holding your breath. You frown, eyebrows lifting at the starts, not knowing if you should beg him to forget the whole thing or finally give in. 

“Come here,” he says gently. Completely optional, his fingertips twitching but stationery at his side. 

You stare resolutely at your shoes. 

“I'm sorry I scared you, it wasn't my intention. I can imagine how it feels. I'm not mad, honey,” he says. His voice drops to a murmur, “Come here,” he pleads. 

You take a clumsy handful of steps and he meets you in the middle, arms going carefully over your shoulders. You'd feel condescended by it if it weren't shockingly nice to be considered in such a way, or if the solid mass of his arms around you didn't soothe. You feel protected rather than boxed in, held, and not restrained. 

His hand slides open down the length of your back.

“I'm sorry I scared you,” he repeats, for your ears alone. 

“It's not like it was really you that scared me.” 

The memory scared you. The flinch was instinctive, less to do with Hotch and more to do with the connection between a moving hand and stinging pain. 

He hangs his head by your ear until his nose touches your shoulder, and for a few seconds, it's just you and him together, no fighting, and no fast-approaching hands. 

“You didn't scare me,” you mumble, hiding your face in his shoulder instead, forcing him to stand tall. 

Incoming footsteps cut your embrace short, but he doesn't pull away too swiftly. His hands grave the lengths of your arms, and he gives you a long, loaded look. Before you can calibrate the action to the man, he's chucking you under the chin, a stroke of his index knuckle, a promise of more to say. 

He catches Morgan before he can enter the room and directs him back out. “Take a minute,” he advises you. 

You sit in a chair and do as he's offered. Memory is a tricky thing. 

[paradiseprincesss]

i should've fucked your brother | jonathan crane & jackson rippner

i wrote this in like three hours lol i had an unhinged idea and said LET ME SHARE IT WITH YOU ALL.

summary: you walk in on your boyfriend, jackson rippner, cheating on you. naturally, you want revenge and who else better is there to help you do that than his estranged brother jonathan crane?

warnings: threesome, p in v, oral (both m&f receiving), unprotected sex, creampie, cheating, swearing, mdni 18+ only!!

word count: 3.4k

masterlist

“you’re home early.” your boyfriend said with a shocked expression, staring at you from your shared bed — with another woman entangled in the sheets beside him. 

you scoffed in disbelief as you took in what was happening. “yeah, i knew you had the day off but i didn’t realise you’d already made plans.” you tell him, gesturing to the naked woman beside him.

“babe,” he started, scrambling as he hastily threw on some pants, “please. this meant nothing to me, you know i love—”

“jackson — just don’t.” you warned, glaring daggers at him. “all this time i've been faithful to you, and for what? did two years mean nothing to you?”

“of course it meant something to me. work has just been killin’ me, okay?” he said with a sigh.

“so you cheated on me?” 

you had been dating your boyfriend — jackson rippner — for just over two years now. you’d met through work, as you’d been assigned to work with him to assassinate a certain political figure together. ever since the beginning, you two were a team. 

well, you thought so anyway. 

“i didn’t mean to!” he said defensively, throwing his hands up to further prove his point. “you’ve just been gone a lot, and—”

“pack up your shit and leave.” you deadpanned, staring at him with a lifeless expression. you weren’t playing games anymore; he’d run out of chances. 

“you know what,” he laughed lowly, brushing past you as he deliberately nudged your shoulder harshly, “i think i will. you’re too much, anyway.” 

you watched as his mistress ran out behind him, looking like she was coated in shame. as you try to process what just happened, you sigh and grab a bottle of wine from the fridge, pouring yourself a full glass. as much as you wanted to cry, the tears weren’t coming out — maybe you were still in shock.

your head was clouded and your emotions were running rampant, and now that alcohol had been added to the mixture — you were brewing up the perfect concoction of revenge. there was a list of things you could do to jackson in order to get back at him, but there was one thing person that you knew you could use to get your ultimate payback.

his estranged brother — doctor jonathan crane.

i think i still have his number, you thought to yourself as you scrolled through the contacts on your phone. your finger landed on the dial button of his contact, and after a few rings, someone picked up. 

“hello?” jonathan’s voice asked from the other end of the line, and you smiled to yourself.

“i caught your brother cheating on me.” you said, deciding to just come out with it — no beating around the bush. you were an honest person, unlike some people.

“...and you called to tell me this because?” jonathan asked after a moment of silence, presumably to process what he was hearing.

“i’ll be honest with you, jonathan. i’m looking to get my revenge on him — and i know you want to do the same.” you said, smirking to yourself as you pitched the idea. “i know you’re still mad about what he did to you all those years ago.”

jonathan was silent for a few moments, but eventually he sighed. “what did you have in mind?”

“i think you should come over later.” you suggested in a sultry tone. “he’s going to be back to pick up the rest of his stuff. i wonder what he would think if he caught us—”

“wait — are you seriously suggesting we do…that as a form of revenge?” jonathan choked. 

“as if you’d say no.” you challenged, making him chuckle quietly into the phone. “come on, i saw the way you were looking at me that one time i joined jackson at that family reunion you were both at. you weren’t exactly subtle about it.” 

“apparently not,” he said with a quiet laugh, “...fine. send me your address.”

you hang up and send jonathan the address before texting jackson to come pick his things up around eight since you’d be…home. jackson texted back immediately, saying he’d see you at eight, along with a lengthy apology over text that you disregarded.

you wasted no time getting ready, hopping in the shower and making yourself look perfect. i mean, yes, you wanted to make sure jackson knew what he was missing — but you also wanted him to see what his brother was having. 

you settled on your favourite black lingerie, lacy and sensual. perfect for the occasion, right? you styled your hair and perfected the details of your makeup before your phone buzzed, lighting up with a notification from jonathan.

i’m here.

you felt your heart flutter, and you quickly typed out a response.

door’s unlocked. 

as you pressed send, you heard the front door creak open before being closed shut. you grab your matching black, silk robe, and make your way to the front entrance of your home. 

jonathan’s blue eyes pierced right through you as he drank in your appearance, staring at you in awe. he was in his usual attire, a suit and tie, along with that sweater vest he always wore (which, by the way, you secretly found strangely attractive). 

“you look…” jonathan said, trailing off before finding his voice again, “wow. you look even prettier than the last time i saw you.”

“thanks.” you say with a small laugh, unsure of what else to say now that he was actually here. “d’you want a glass of wine or something?” 

“i wouldn’t be opposed to that.” jonathan shrugged, taking his suit jacket off and tossing it onto the back of your couch. “red would be great.” 

“got it.” you said, rummaging around your kitchen for two wine glasses, pouring a hefty amount of red into each. 

as you hand the glass of wine to him, he eyes you down — clearly not bothering to hide his attraction to you. “you know,” he started, “i always thought you were too good for my brother. you’ve got a lot going for you — you’re smart, beautiful, kind…”

you blushed at his flattery, shaking your head as you downed your wine rather quickly. “well, i appreciate that.” 

“i mean it.” jonathan insisted as he wrapped his hand around your waist, toying with where you’d tied your robe. “you’re truly ravishing, darling.” 

both of you put down your glasses of wine, and he wrapped his arms around your waist fully. he pulled you close — so close that you could smell the lingering remnants of his woody cologne — and you looked up at him lustfully. 

“maybe i should have jackson admitted to arkham.” jonathan joked lowly. “only someone out of their right mind would stray from someone as perfect as you.” 

“you barely know me.” you whispered, your lips getting closer to his.

“yet, i found myself wanting to. even after all this time.” he confessed, closing the gap between you and him. 

he kissed you sensually — in a way jackson never did. every time you and jackson had sex, the lead up to it felt rushed. he’d always kiss you roughly, forcefully even, and you’d have no choice but to go along with it. jonathan was softer — kinder.

he held you close as if you were made of porcelain, ready to shatter at any moment if handled too roughly. his kisses were gentle and sweet. he took his time to get to know you and your body.

his hands slipped around the knot of your robe, pulling it undone as he pushed the fabric off of your body. slowly, he pulled away from the kiss to see what was underneath. his eyes went wide as he admired your perfect figure, staring at awe at the lace details. 

running his hands over the curve of your ass, he gave it a little squeeze. “i see you dressed up for the occasion.” he commented. “i’ll treat you so much better than he ever did, i can promise you that.” 

“show me then, jonathan.” you whispered, taking his hand and leading him into your bedroom. 

between sloppy kisses and giggles from you, the both of you ended up on you and jackson’s old shared bed with jonathan on top of you. his hands roamed your body delicately, making sure that you were comfortable — and turned on — every step of the way. 

the way he was kissing down your neck, nipping at the skin there lightly, had you whimpering and begging him for more — and you’d only just started. his hands made their way to the underside of your back, unclasping your bra with ease.

once your bra was tossed out of the way, he worked on getting you out of your panties. his agile, gentle touch sent goosebumps up your spine, getting you worked up over just the way his fingers brushed over your skin. 

“can i take these off too, darling?” jonathan asked politely, hooking a finger into the band of your lacy underwear. you give him an affirming nod, to which he takes as the green light; go.

as he slipped your panties off, tossing them to the side, he swiped a finger through your soaked folds. the dirty yet simple action caused you to involuntarily let out a rather filthy moan. the noise caused jonathan to smirk to himself — all worked up and over what?

a few kisses and some light touches? 

well, you could tell which of the two twins was familiar with the female anatomy, that was for sure. 

“beg me.” jonathan stated, looking up at you from between your thighs. “i wanna hear you beg.”

“jonathan, baby — please.” you whimpered, squirming from under his intoxicating stare. those impossibly blue eyes did it for you; you were a soaked mess and he hadn’t even fucked you yet. “give it to me. i need it, p-please.” 

you swore his eyes had turned three shades darker as you spoke to him, and just as he was about to attach his mouth to your soaking wet cunt, the bedroom doors swung open.

oops.

jonathan whipped his head around as you peered over his shoulder, and the both of you were staring at a very angry and very shocked jackson. his expression was priceless — you’d kill to have it photographed and framed if you could. 

“what the fuck is going on here?” jackson growled, his jaw clenching from pure rage. 

“what does it look like, jackson?” you teased as jonathan was still in between your thighs. “you wanted to play dirty, so that’s what we're doing.”

“are you fucking joking?” jackson asked in disbelief.

“if i’m not mistaken,” jonathan chimed in at his brother, “weren’t you caught in bed with someone else just hours ago?”

jackson disregarded what his brother said, staring directly at you with a look that screamed pure anger. “so, this is what you do less than twelve hours after we break up?” he hissed. “you fuck my brother?” 

“we haven’t fucked yet actually — but if you want to stay and watch what it’s like when i’m not faking it, then i won’t stop you from staying.” you smirked, watching jackson as he saw red. 

“oh, really?” jackson challenged, “don’t mind if i do, then.” 

you looked at jonathan who looked back at you — neither of you were expecting him to stay, let alone watch. jackson noticed the exchanged glances between you and jonathan, to which he scoffed. 

“don’t tell me you thought i was going to just let this happen. not a fucking chance — she’s my girl, crane.” he sneered, but jonathan chuckled lowly. 

“not anymore, rippner.” 

jackson didn’t offer a response as his eyes were fixated on your very naked figure, tongue darting over his lips as he stared you down like a lion does to its next meal. jonathan looked at you as if to ask “should we continue?” and you merely nodded. 

“don’t make her wait, crane.” jackson scoffed, smirking at the two of you.

jonathan looked at jackson one more time before he licked a fat, long stripe up your cunt, causing you to moan. jackson’s jaw clenched at the sounds of your pleasure — he’d almost never got you to moan like that even while he was inside of you.

and here his brother was getting you to toss your head back with just one lick up your cunt? unbelievable.

jonathan continued to lick your cunt deliciously, swirling his tongue around your clit as he sucked it gently. the noises you were making had jonathan’s cock straining in his pants — and if he could hear one thing for the rest of eternity, it would be the sound of your wet, squelching cunt and your moans mixed together.

he continued to lap up your wetness as you breathlessly moaned his name like he was your boyfriend. like you loved him.

“all yours,” you gasped, “s’all y-yours, jon.” 

“that’s right.” jonathan said, voice muffled as he continued to devour your dripping cunt. “that’s fucking right.” 

a few more licks from him and you were done for. your stomach tightened as you were close to coming, and all he did was use his mouth — not even his fingers. your head was spinning as you let out shallow, quick breaths, creaming on his face. 

jonathan got up from between your legs after you came, wiping his face with the sleeve of his button down. jackson looked like he’d seen a ghost — how’d jonathan get you to cum so quickly?! of course, jackson would never say it aloud, but he was fuming. 

jonathan started to unbuckle his belt as you stared up at him desperately, eyes solely focused on him instead of jackson. much to jackson’s dismay, you looked at jonathan with a hunger that he’d never seen on your face before. 

sibling rivalry, anyone? 

as jonathan was undoing his belt and trying to get his rock hard cock free from his pants, you glanced over at jackson with a shit-eating grin on your face. 

“d’you wanna join?” you asked.

“fuck yes.” jackson replied before you even finished asking, making you shake your head. 

“i’ll suck you off — but that’s it.” you told him. “you lost your privilege to fuck me.”

that seemed to be enough for jackson because he was rushing over, taking his pants off in a rush. you looked back at jonathan who was lining his cock up with your drooling cunt, causing your jaw to drop.

they may have been the same height, but it seemed that jonathan had a couple inches on jackson. 

jonathan stroked himself a couple times (which you were drooling over)  before he rubbed the tip of his thick cock in your dripping folds. he pushed himself in gently, making you let out the dirtiest noise you’d made by far this evening, your head dropping backwards and your back arching upwards. 

“oh my god.” you gasped, and jonathan’s hands found purchase on your waist as he gently held onto you. 

“you’re doing so well, darling — so pretty, aren’t you?” jonathan cooed gently, moving in and out slowly as he let your cunt adjust to his thickness. 

jackson had managed to get out of his pants, his cock leaking already as he tapped it against your lips a few times. classy, you thought as you rolled your eyes. you wrap a hand around the base of jackson’s cock as you take him into your warm mouth. 

as soon as jackson felt your lips around his cock, he was groaning and reaching up to tangle his hands in your hair — but you slapped his hand away. he almost looked offended, but he stayed quiet as he continued to let out heavy breaths and occasional groans. 

you moaned around jackson’s cock as jonathan picked up his pace, almost knocking the wind out of you with how full he made you feel. the tip of his cock was brushing up against your cervix, and your velvety walls were clenching around his thickness — you could’ve sworn you felt him in your stomach.

“mmmmph!” you moaned around jackson, to which he looked down at you — gritted teeth and all.

you took a moment to breathe, popping jackson out of your warm mouth for a second as a string of saliva connected your lips to his cock. jackson stared down at you with blown out pupils, jacking himself off in your face as his cheeks were flushed. 

“s-so big!” you squeaked, tightening up around jonathan’s fat cock. “gonna — f-fuck! — i'm gonna cum!”

“what a good girl,” jonathan praised softly, “fuuuck — you’re so tight, darling. my god.” 

jackson jerked himself off to the sight of you getting fucked by his brother of all people — and before you ask; yes, he was ashamed. he’d never seen you like this before; so fucking needy and so desperate for cock.

not even his cock, but rather jonathan’s. 

he watched in disbelief as you came around jonathan’s thick cock, but what made his jaw drop was when you squirted all over jonathan’s white button down. you drenched the doctor's shirt, whining and trembling as you came hard and fast for him, unlike you ever did with jackson. 

“look at that,” jonathan said as he marvelled at the sight, “feels that good, pretty girl?”

“uh-huh, y-yes!” you incoherently scream, and jonathan almost came at the sight of you like this alone.

it was no secret he always found you breathtaking — beautiful, actually — but seeing you coming for him, squirting on his shirt was something else. it was heavenly, and jonathan was convinced that you’d gone for the wrong brother. 

it should’ve been him — he was certain that he could please you right, treat you right, and love you right. 

unlike his selfish lover of a brother, he wouldn’t dare break your heart.

“a-and by the way, jackson.” you huffed, letting out a few choked moans as jonathan rammed his fat cock into your sticky, warm cunt. “you will never get to touch this pussy again. you will — ugh, y-yes jon — never get to have me again.”

“shut your fucking mouth—” jackson started, but jonathan shut him down real quick.

“fuck off, jackson.” jonathan huffed, his anger fueling the way he was fucking you (not that you were complaining!). “you’re lucky you even had her to begin with.” 

the way jonathan was talking about you — defending you — was making you shamelessly wetter by the second. jackson shut his mouth, tapping two fingers against your cheeks to try and get you to open up again, but you kept your mouth shut. 

you clawed at jonathan’s clothed biceps as he brutally pounded your pussy, causing you to scream his name out over and over as jackson grew angrier and angrier. it’s not like he could do anything now, though — it was a little late for that.

“i’m close,” jonathan groaned, “gonna fucking fill this tight cunt. make you mine.” 

“p-please!” you begged, gasping for air. 

“fuck, i’m close too — come on, please. suck me off so i can cum.” jackson pleaded, and you’d never thought you’d see the day where jackson rippner of all people would actually beg.

“n-no.” you choked out through broken moans as jonathan fucked his cum into you. “y-you — fuuuck — already got to cum with my replacement earlier today. too f-fucking bad.” 

“she’s not you, though!” jackson desperately begged, stroking himself faster, but you grabbed his wrist and stopped him. 

“i fucking know.” you growled, moving your head as far away as you could from him.

jackson came all over his own fist, white ropes of cum covering his hand as he scowled at you.

jonathan came to a still with a low groan, his cum seeping into your abused cunt as he buried his face into your neck. you wrapped your arms around him gently, holding him close as he peppered soft kisses on your face lovingly. 

the difference between the two twins was astonishing. 

jonathan pulled out as he watched his cum leak from your spent hole, and jackson sat on the bed silently, grabbing tissues and wiping his hand off. 

jonathan, being the gentleman that he is, helped you get cleaned up and slipped you into your robe as you lay down on your bed with him.

jackson grabbed the rest of his belongings, getting dressed as he made his way out in silence. clearly, you not letting him finish in your mouth left a sour taste in his. jonathan chuckled quietly from beside you in bed, looking over at you with a small smile.

“so,” jonathan said, playing with your hair gently, “how about i show you how much better it is when someone loves you in all the right ways, my darling?”

@girlinterrupted505 @ciriceimpera @jordyn-yeager @thevelvetvampyre @galactict3a

@xanaxiii @nocturnest @psylrd @bloodandglitter207 @humbuginmybones 

@oceanstem @futurefamousdeadmusician @jonathancraneslittlepet @dolleyednymphette @kpopgirlbtssvt 

@ll4n4 @ilovetoxicfictionalmen @the-buddy-things @ellebelleshelby @wiseyouthinfluencer 

@aprilsfrog05 @minedofmoria @strangeobsessed @5tud10-54r4h @franzine-xii 

@stsrfujid @psylrd @eyraaaaaae @nyxxie-pooh @momoewn

@fauxcongenialite

[januaryembrs]

SKIN LIKE PUFF PASTRY | Spencer Reid x Prentiss!Reader [6]

description: the ONE where you help him grieve another woman + the ONE with the promise

length: 8.04k

warnings: maeves death. grief. Spencer is a sad bby. HOWEVER maybe perhaps some fluff? healing journey! gun, blood, usual cm warnings.

author's note. HERE YOU GO POOKIES. I hope you enjoy now I've put you all out of your misery.

previous chpt | next chpt | series masterlist

'Lacy, oh lacy, skin like puff pastry,

aren't you the sweetest thing on this side of hell?'

The one where you help him grieve another woman.

It killed her walking up those stairs every day. She knew the gift baskets were piling up, had already had a terse conversation with his neighbour about leaving ‘clutter’ in the hallway, to which she thinks she might have swung at the eighty year old woman if she didn’t think it would cause Spencer problems. 

He had enough on his plate already. Maeve had died, for fuck sake. 

In fact, she almost entirely blew her top when she made it to the top of the steps to see every single one of Garcia’s gift baskets had been moved, the bunches of tulips she’d brought him every other day over the past two weeks gone with little trace other than browning petals scattering his door mat. Even the cookies JJ had baked him, the card Henry had drawn for his uncle Spencer had been moved. 

Bugsy stopped for a second, her head snapping to the door to the right where his neighbour, Miss Cavanaugh, had shuffled out of her apartment in her pink dressing gown, her grey, wispy curls flat against her head as if she’d just rolled out of bed. 

She blinked at the younger girl through thick, bubble-like glasses, her blue eyes annoyed the minute she saw her standing there. 

“You can’t just take people's things, you know, I don’t care if it got in the way of your daily walk, Miriam, those were for Spencer-” Bugsy started, her voice as calm as she could get it even though her scowl spoke for itself. 

“I didn’t touch any of his crap, little lady,” Miriam raised her mottled hand, crooked fingers shushing the outrage Bug had been ready to bark at her, and the women sighed when they realised they might just have another argument like their last one, “Kid was poking around at like six in the morning taking it all in, nearly woke up my dog,”

Bugsy rolled her eyes, “God forbid,” Miriam flipped her the finger which made Bugsy’s jaw drop wide open, shuffling back into her apartment muttering to herself, her mail in her mangled hands, “Old bag,” Bug murmured to herself, but her eyes quickly locked back onto Spencer’s door.

He had been out. Well, he had been into his hallway, but it was something. 

Her legs felt like jelly when she took hesitant steps towards his doorway, her knuckles gently rapping on the wood, a frog crawling into her throat that she tried clearing with a cough. 

“Spencer?” Her voice was soft, melodic, and it made him wince where he sat against the other side of his entrance, his own hair a state of disarray, “It’s me,” 

Of course he knew it was her. He didn’t think a day could ever go by where he wouldn’t know her by the sound of her steps alone. Like he’d grown a sixth sense for these sorts of things, like they were linked by some weird Spidey powers like in the comics she’d brought over to his apartment and begged him to read, because even though he could devour a million words a minute (her words not his) it was the art in it she loved and that forced him to slow down and enjoy the pages. 

He wanted to tell her to go away, but he couldn’t find it in him to ever be so cruel, to dig himself a bigger trench of regret than he already felt. He couldn’t save Maeve, physically could never get the image of her dying from his ginormous, genius brain that held onto every detail, and on top of it, he knew he deserved none of the kindness Bugsy showered him with. He’d heard her come stand outside his door every single morning, heard her knocking with the same worried call of his name at the same time before breakfast. He heard her sigh after ten or so minutes and leave, her retreating footsteps clunking down the stairs sadly. 

She was too good for him. He’d only solidified it that she was so beyond what he deserved, that he could never treat her the way she deserved to be treated, the same way he hadn’t with Maeve. 

Spencer’s self loathing was a poison, slowly devouring him every time he heard her voice, felt her approach through the floorboards, when he’d seen the little notes she’d left on the books she’d dropped off outside his door. Usually they were her reviews on them, a list of pros and cons, her general musings, all things they would have chatted over a bagel if things had been normal between them. But he couldn’t remember the last time they’d had breakfast together the way they had like clockwork since she joined the BAU. That was a lie. He could remember, of course he could, it had been four months, three weeks and five days ago, a Monday. He thinks she knocked around 10am. Something like that. 

It was the day before she’d flown to London, actually. She had dropped the boys (the boys being Niko and Sergio) off to his apartment, thanked him a bunch of times for looking after them, given him five months worth of cat litter and kibbles and immediately unwrapped a to-go bag of their favourite pastries from the bakery downtown. He remembered it was close to October because she’d bought over maple buns and they only sold at the beginning of Autumn, and he’d asked if she’d be doing anything for Halloween seeing as their usual plans of a horror movie marathon were being put on pause while she was in England. She wasn’t, and she’d asked to call him instead so they could discuss their favourite trick or treating outfits they’d seen. 

He’d promised her a call, only another case popped up by the time the thirty-first rolled around, and it had never happened. 

Spencer hated how he was able to remember every detail of her face the day she’d left, the warmth of her hug he’d clung onto for months. He hated that day she’d surprised him and he hadn’t even thought to wrap his arms around her because he’d been so stuck feeling the overwhelming shock of seeing her. He hated that he’d made her frown like that, that she had ever doubted that he wanted to see her. But it had felt like he’d been caught cheating, why had it felt like cheating? 

He knew why. He knew why seeing her when he was going out to call Maeve had felt like he was double-crossing her. 

Not that it mattered anymore, he thought bitterly. Because Maeve was dead. And Bugsy had every right to hate him. But she didn’t. Because she was too good. 

He hated himself more than he’d ever thought was possible. 

He heard her sigh, but she didn’t repeat herself. Nor did she leave. Instead, he felt the door rattle behind his own spine as she slumped against the wood, sliding to the floor until she unknowingly leaned against him, little more than a few centimetres from his warmth. 

He heard her pull out something from her bag, and the tell tale slip of paper over paper told him she’d brought a book with her, pre-empting staying longer this time. Spencer wanted to tell her not to bother, because if he got brave enough to open the door to her and see her face, smell her clothes, feel the softness of her hugs, he thinks if he told her every thought bouncing around that aching skull of his, it would all come crashing down around him, and he wouldn’t ever be able to stop telling her how sorry he was. For all of it. For letting her pull away from him when she was grieving. For letting her kiss him that night Derek brought her over, because it was obvious she wanted to forget the whole thing. For pushing her away when she came back from London. For being rude and cold when she wanted answers. For trying desperately to completely detach himself from her, which had only ever made him want to scream in frustration because it hadn’t worked anyway. 

Maeve had died because of him, an innocent woman he’d seen himself falling for if they’d been given the chance had died, and he was still head over heels in terrible, stupid love with Bugsy. 

 They stayed there, her reading and him aching from the inside out, for about seven minutes before her phone rang. He heard her huff, letting it go to answer phone and settling back down with her novel. That is, until her dial tone sprung back to life and she half growled under her breath, assuming she pressed the answer button, and he heard her voice again. 

“Hello?” She said, the slight annoyance bleeding into her words, and Spencer already knew that duty was calling by the way her book thumped to the floor and he could just picture her rubbing over her temple in frustration. “I have an appointment, Hotch, I can be there in a couple hours,” Silence, where he guessed Hotch was chiding her on her tardiness, “No, I know I’m supposed to book these things off- it’s just- it’s a contraceptive implant removal, yeah I really busted my IUD when I broke my arm, it’s not settled since,” Spencer almost smiled on instinct, almost, though he thought even if he did it would look like a bitter grimace because he’d not moved his face in over ten days. But she was a really good liar, and he’d always found that part of her charm. She huffed again, “God, you sound like Emily, yes I’m being safe- we are not having this conversation, Aaron, I’ll get there when I get there,” 

With that, perhaps the only person who would ever be allowed to slam the phone down on Aaron Hotchner in a huff did, and they were left alone in silence again. 

“You shouldn’t ignore their calls for my sake,” He found his voice, even if it was groggy with misuse. He felt her straighten against the wooden door, her shock palpable through the brief moment of silence that seemed to stretch on for just a second too long, as if she was scrambling not to say something else than what came out. 

“Pot, meet kettle,” She murmured back, loud enough he could hear it, and she felt him shuffle behind the door, wanting to smack herself in the face for not feeling him there sooner.

“New case?” He asked, his eyes heavy, his pyjamas days old. He knew he needed to shower, but the minute he’d walked into his apartment everything had felt pointless. 

“Yup.” She breathed in, her shoes brushing against his welcome mat with a scratch as she pulled her knees up to her chest, “Although I think Hotch will stick to Penelope making the calls after today,” 

Something between a scoff and a sigh came from his throat, something she couldn’t tell if it was good or bad.

“What is it?” He replied, and she remained quiet for a second, picking the skin around her nails. 

“I’ll tell you if you open the door,” She bartered, wondering for a second if she’d gone too far and had pushed him back into the hole she was coaxing him out of. 

“Blackmail,” Spencer said, all emotion gone from his voice, and Bugsy winced, “A little on the nose for someone who’s grieving,” 

But she could sense it. The way his syllable raised on the last word, that he was being cynical, not cruel like she’d worried. 

“Think of it as a trade deal,” She humoured him, though she kept her voice soft so he knew she meant no harm, just to cheer him up if it was even possible, “You get your answer, and I get to give you this incredibly boring book that I know you can devour in a half hour and give me the summarised version,” 

He smiled. Weakly, and only for a brief few seconds, because if there was anything that warmed him up from the cold, dark, nothingness place he’d found himself in it was her.

He wished he could dislike the fact she did it so easily, wish he could dislike how simple it was to like her, to feel himself wanting her even in that nothingness place he was crawling through as a lone ranger. He wanted to pull her into him tightly, wanted to let her fuss over him, to apologise until his voice ran even more hoarse, but he couldn’t. He feared if he touched her, she’d be marked for death right then and then; that he’d taint her somehow. And that he could never do. 

Yet, he bent to her will. He stood up, prompting her to do the same, leaving his door on the latch as he pulled it open a crack, enough for her to jimmy the book through, The Death of Ivan Ilyich, by Leo Tolstoy. 

He had read Tolstoy before, of course he had. War and Peace was one of the first books he ever owned in Russian, ironically enough one that he’d read only a few days before they’d driven to Baltimore and he’d met Bugsy for the first time. Yet it was this one she’d given him of all of Tolstoy’s works; the one where the protagonist goes on a journey of acceptance that he’s dying with no explanation as to why. 

He thought she might just be the only person who knew how to crawl into the mess of his brain and find something familiar in there. Because this was the same book he’d read when Emily had died. 

He would never tell her he already owned it, however. Nor would he call her out for the fact she most certainly didn’t find it boring considering she was so far into it with annotations already scribbled in the margins. He just took it with a lump in his throat, his eyes burning with the idea she was so incredibly her that it felt like he had no option but to drown in it. 

“Body’s been found in San Francisco,” She said gently, and he knew she wished he would open the door fully so she could at least see him. Yet he kept the door on the latch. Because if there wasn’t a barrier between them, he wasn’t sure how else he would keep it all in, “You get to know more when you finish the book,” 

He sighed, holding the book tight to his chest, and they stood there for a second, the air turning stifling as they both held back a million words behind brave faces, “Will you be gone long?” 

“No, only a few days, I hope,” She replied, zipping her bag up and slinging it on her back judging by the sounds coming from her side of the door. She hovered, not wanting to say the wrong thing, but wanting to stay here on his welcome mat because this was the closest they'd been physically and otherwise in months. 

“Be safe,” He murmured, and her hand shot through the gap in the doorway, her pinky finger raised to the heavens. 

“Promise,” Bugsy said, her heart jack hammering against her ribcage when a long, warm finger wrapped around hers, and they squeezed them together. It was just a little touch, but it was a start. She wished he would open the door so she could beg him to talk to her, even if it meant crawling to her knees, she wasn’t above it whatsoever. 

Reluctantly, she let him go, though she noted the way he had held onto her until she did so. 

“I have to go,” She said sadly, drawing her hand to her chest like she’d received a Midas touch, and her hand was suddenly valuable after gracing his own. 

Her skin felt electric, her breaths felt laboured. She wanted more, but she couldn’t have it. 

And with that, it took every ounce of resolve to turn on her heels and head back down to her car. 

–

Bugsy stared at the artwork with a grimace, picking hard at her cuticles because the metallic smell was making her stomach turn. Their UnSub had taken to painting with his victims’ blood, canvasses upon canvasses of leeched ichor brushed out to make out an image of the bodies. 

Her nose scrunched when another wave of hot, iron wafted up her nose, and she thought about asking Hotch if she could step outside for a moment, knowing he likely wouldn’t question her perhaps ever again after their little phone call. 

“What other reasons would he have for separating plasma from the blood?” Hotch asked, and her brow furrowed, her mouth opening to speak before another voice cut her off.

“It’s a habit,” 

She swore she gave herself whiplash with how fast her head snapped to the side. She would know his voice anywhere. It sounded lost and desolate, yes, but her eyes swirled with relief when she saw him standing there, looking skittish and tired but alive. 

“Reid,” Morgan breathed, the same level of surprise she felt as JJ darted towards him, her arms wrapping around his middle before he could protest.

“Spence,” She said, and they hugged one another tightly, his eyes following over Jennifer’s shoulder to where Bugsy seemed to watch him unsurely, like she was waiting for him to tell her what to do, how to make it better, how to fix it. A girl who had always been so sure of herself now reduced to pining from afar for answers. 

“I didn’t expect you back this soon. You sure you're ready?” Hotch asked, an almost identical look of hesitance on his face as Bugsy had on hers, and it was no wonder half of the department said they were two sides of the same coin.

“No but I think I figured something out,” He breathed, moving out of JJ’s embrace towards the boards where the victim profiles were, and he began speaking in that slow, cold tone he’d taken on. 

Spencer, to no one's surprise, was able to all but fit their disjointed puzzle pieces together in the space of an hour's flight, and with just a few pointers in Garcia’s direction, they’d got their UnSub. 

“And bingo was his name-o, actually his name is Bryan Hughes, he is an AB positive haemophiliac who works as a janitor at the Bay Area Museum of Art. And before you ask, yes his address has been sent to your phones.” Penelope rushed, pinging the information to their phones just as fast as it had appeared on her screen.

“You’re the best baby girl,”  Morgan said into the speaker, hanging up the phone as the team stood from their place at the desk, Hotch assigning them tasks as everyone strapped on their kevlars and guns. 

She held back for a moment, her eyes assessing him like man approaching a wounded wolf. 

“I’m okay-” He was about to say, because he knew what she was going to ask before she thought to do it, except she simply nodded at him, turning on her heel to follow the others, despite him expecting something more Bugsy-like. 

It wasn’t like her to leave him without some final word, some final stand, and he was right. Because no sooner had she gotten all of three paces, she whirled back around, heading back towards him with a timid expression, and she all but launched herself into his arms. 

He held her tight, the warmth of her body making his eyes well up, because if there was anything that could have made him crack his resolve, it was her touch alone. 

She carded her fingrs through his hair, tucking her face into his neck and breathing in deeply. 

“I’ll see you when I get back,” She murmured, stopping herself from saying anymore as she released him, well aware of the fact he had tried squeezing her tighter before she’d had to let him go, like he hadn’t wanted her to go. But neither did she. 

“Stay safe,” He said on instinct, and she nodded, her eyes trailing over his empty eyes and sallow skin. 

She wanted to kiss away every trace of sadness there, but she couldn’t. Wanted to wrap him into a hug so tight she might just stop breathing, but it would have been worth it. Wanted to tuck him into bed and stroke his hair and feed him tea and chocolate and make sure he was kept well, because she’d do anything to make him better. 

But she couldn’t. They had a case. 

It took every scrap of resolve to let go of Spencer Reid, sheepish and mourning, and leave him in that room alone. 

–

She sighed, scrubbing at the back of her hand with the shitty aeroplane soap they had on the jet, the tiny basin doing nothing to help the fact she was all but peeling off the top layer of her epidermis. 

Catching Bryan had been messy; he had come at her with a scalpel, she had shot, his blood had sprayed over her arms, soaking right through. Spencer had all but gone white when she’d gotten to the runway, hoping to make it back to Quantico by midnight. 

“Are you okay? Are you hurt?” He fretted, despite the fact it was the closest he'd come in weeks to an emotion that wasn't sadness, and he stood little more than a few centimetres away, his fingers twined together, wanting to check her over himself. 

She waved him off, “It’s not mine. I’m going to wash up on the plane, don’t worry,” She replied, her expression exhausted, twitching on the spot to stop herself pushing his hair behind his ear. She knew he’d washed it because it looked particularly fluffy, the way it always did when he hadn’t bothered to style it before he left the house, “Are you okay?” 

He nodded wordlessly, and took her mini suitcase from her side, wheeling it along the tarmac for her, his face a worried scowl as they boarded the jet. 

She thanked him as she stepped past him putting it in the overhead luggage, heading straight for the toilets to wash up, Morgan and JJ ducking out of the way when they saw Carrie 2.0 passing by them. 

It wasn’t until they were already in the air did she emerge, her change of clothes on her skin that had been rubbed raw, her uniform in a biohazard bag that she swiftly dumped at the back of the jet to keep it out of sight. She threw herself down on the nearest seat, her entire body aching from the long few days, but she didn’t miss the hazel eyes that bore into the side of her head to her right. 

She turned to meet their gaze, even though she already knew who it was before she’d even looked. Spencer looked like he was caught between about five different sentences to start with, his eyes trailing down her arms and to her hands that were now squeaky clean. 

“You sure you’re okay?” He murmured, and she flipped her palms over for him to see for himself. No cuts. No abrasions. Except her usually marred cuticles she’d been picking at all day. 

“Pinkie promised, didn’t I?” She teased, but no humour met his face. He just looked back at her, like he didn’t quite believe her still, like she was a ghost where his best friend should be sat, or a trick of the light. She turned her knees towards him, her sleepy eyes buttery and genuine, as if she was trying to make herself as relaxed as possible, just so he would stop worrying, “Spencer, I’m fine. Didn’t even knick me,”

He stayed quiet for a moment, looking down to his satchel bag where he played with the buckle, the brown leather cold in between his fingers, “I’m sorry I’ve been weird and distant and ignoring you- I just…”

“Spencer,” She tried to interject with a honeyed voice, but he shook his head, a crease forming between his brows when he heard her say his name like that. 

“I just worry I’m letting everyone down, but when I saw you covered in blood-” He gulped, willing his eyes not to burn up again with unshed tears. 

“Spence, it’s okay,” She cooed, shuffling closer to him in her seat, her hand migrating to his knee, because she didn’t know if he’d want to touch her after she’d had someone else's blood all over her hand. She liked her chances, yet the last thing she wanted was to push him. “No one’s expecting you to go back to normal, I just want to know you’re safe. I owe you as much, I mean you looked after me when Emily was gone,” 

“You don’t owe me anything, Bug,” He shook his head again, his brows furrowing and she was quick to correct herself, “Besides, I loved living with you,” He rested his palm over her hand and gave her what he hoped looked like a small smile. 

“I didn’t mean it like that, Spence,” She said, flipping her hand over to squeeze his fingers gently, “Did you not think I loved living with you too? I just want to take care of you for me,” 

He looked at her, her eyes hopeful as she roved over his clean clothes, his freshly washed hair, his satchel he’d kept tight in his lap, as if checking him over for bruises despite the fact he hadn’t been in the field. The crushing weight over his chest like a fallen log seemed to shift, and with it, her hand soothed the wound, her smile dried his eyes, her warmth engulfed his very core in a blanket. 

Spencer knew he was going to be okay if it was him and her. He knew the world was livable again if she was fighting in his corner. But then, when hadn’t she been?

Sensing his ease in attitude, or perhaps she just knew his eyes so well to notice the way they seemed to carry less burden as soon as she’d spoken, she leaned back in her seat, “Besides, the boys miss you. They said you gave them more treats than I do and Niko appreciated you brushing his fur for him,”

He smiled over at her bashfully, his head dropping down to lean on her shoulder as she pressed her cheek to his head. 

“Well, if the boys miss me, I guess I have no choice,” He murmured, his eyes heavy the second he rested against her, like she’d sprayed a sedative over him, and he couldn’t help think that her new perfume wasn’t nearly as them as her old one had been. Not that he disliked this one, just that the other one reminded him of morning breakfasts, and movie marathons, and nights when they would bake apple cake at twelve in the morning because she made it how he liked it to a tea. 

She chuckled, and it sounded like a hum in his ear, as he curled up to her side, “Get some sleep, I’ll wake you up when we land and I’ll drive us home,”

And it didn’t take much for him to do so, even if something had been right on the tip of his tongue; his apartment had only felt like home when she said it like that. 

+1. The one with the promise.

He’d had that dream again. 

It had been four months since Maeve died, but he’s had that dream again.

He’d start out in a restaurant, the walls lined top to toe with books, the chandelier the perfect amount of dust that it had character but not tackiness. A waiter would bring him over a menu and an iced tea, his favourite. He’d go to look up to ask why he’d been sat at a restaurant he had no recollection of getting to, and he’d see her staring back at him. 

Maeve. Looking healthy and happy, like he hadn’t watched her brains sprayed across that warehouse floor. 

“I’ve been waiting for you,” She would say, a glass of some kind of white wine swirling in her hand, her teeth straight and white and pretty when she smiled. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to keep you,” He’d say, though he couldn’t feel his mouth moving, he just knew it had come from him. “Where are we?” 

“You promised me a date, so this is it,” Maeve said, a glint in her blue eyes, “First and the last. Let’s make it count,”

His heart would give a jump then, because he’d remember this was the only time he’d ever get to see her. He’d remember that she was dead, that he had never seen her in person like this until the day she’d died. 

He’d open his mouth to apologise, to beg for an explanation or forgiveness, whichever one he thought was more pressing, and then the door would swing open. 

And Bugsy would walk in. 

Donned in the same bluebell dress she’d worn at JJ’s wedding, only her arm wasn’t broken. And she’d walk right up to him, that smile on her face that said she was excited to see him. 

And Maeve would look at her, and instead of scowling or sneering like a woman soaking in jealousy would, they would look at one another and grin like they’d known each other decades. 

“Car’s out front when you guys are done,” Bugsy would chirp, her eyes warm when she looked down at the dead woman, satiated in genuine happiness to see her, “Don’t keep him too long,”

“One dance, Agent Prentiss, and he’s all yours,” Maeve would reply with a giggle, her brunette locks falling like a waterfall over her shoulder when she’d stand, offering a hand to him to sweep him onto the dancefloor, “You coming, Spencer?”

And his eyes would snap open, returning him back to the horrible reality of his darkened bedroom, his apartment silent other than the sound of Bugsy tossing in the spare room, the way she did when she got too warm in her sleep, and he threw his legs out of bed to go get her some cold water. 

But the dream never left him. The same one he’d had for months, since she’d moved in with him to take care of him, make sure he was eating and keeping as happy as he could be. 

The sight of her in that blue dress, waiting for him to finish his dance haunted him almost as much as Maeve did. 

–

“Why didn’t you tell me you hadn’t been sleeping?” She asked, cornering him in the kitchen once they’d both dropped their go bags in their room and he’d jumped for the kettle to make them both coffee. 

He blanked, the mug nearly slipping from his grasp as he plonked it down on the counter in front of her, “Why would you think-”

“Spencer,” She said as a warning, her lip quirking between her teeth as she gnawed at it worriedly. 

“I didn’t want you to worry,” He confessed too quickly, scratching the back of his neck the way he did when he was nervous, “I know you worry about me, especially right now, and when you worry, you don’t sleep, and I just thought what’s the point in both of us running on nothing,” 

She huffed, and he shuffled around the island to meet her where she stood by the bar stools, looking like she wanted to be cross with him but she couldn’t find it in herself. 

“You should have told me, I could have stroked your back the way you liked, or, I don’t know,” She shrugged, looking anywhere but his guilty looking hues, “Smuggled night nurse in your tea,”

“Drugs. Cause that’s way better than my thing,” He teased, and she snickered, and he sighed in relief that she wasn’t really mad at him. He hated lying to her, he’d just wanted to keep his odd dream to himself until he could make sense of it, “Did Dave tell you anything else?” 

She shook her head, and he knew she was telling the truth because she seemed to immediately be the one assessing him for anything else she should have been told much sooner. 

“Is your head okay?” She asked, putting a gentle hand to his forehead to check for migraine heat, “I know they get worse when you don’t sleep-”

“My head’s fine, Bug,” Spencer replied, grabbing her hand with his long fingertips, pulling them from his face to squeeze at her side with a warming smile, “Promise. I’ll tell you if it gets bad,”

She watched him sceptically for a moment before she leaned over to grab her coffee, taking a long sip, and sighing in delight when it tasted perfect, “I love your memory, did I ever tell you that?”

He chuckled, dodging a rogue Niko that bobbed between his feet because it was almost dinner time for the two miscreants, moving back over to the sink to tidy the granules of sugar he’d spilled, “Many times. But I’d remember your coffee even if I had a normal brain,”

“Humble as always,” She remarked, smiling devilishly when he shot her a glare over his shoulder. It was then that Sergio jumped up onto the counter, the way Spencer had tried scolding him for a million times because of the germs, only for the onyx black cat to flick his tail in his face as if to flip him a middle finger, yowling in the man’s face for his usual dinner of kibble and water. 

“Alright, alright,” Spencer sighed, reaching into the cabinet to grab their food, two fluffy bodies immediately weaving in between his long legs with mews and head bumps, because those boys knew how to wrap him around their little finger, “You ought to start being nice to me, boys. One day it’ll probably just be me and you guys, and then you can’t just bat your tails at me like you do your mom-”

“I know I’m turning twenty eight but I still got a few years left kicking, Spence,” Bugsy protested, her brows furrowing when she heard his murmurs, which she hadn’t found entirely odd since he always spoke to the boys when he fed them, except this time it had made her draw back in confusion, “Where am I in this hypothetical bachelor pad you got going on?”

“You’ll be with whatever guy is lucky enough to talk his way into dating you, maybe engaged, maybe married,” He said like it was nothing, despite the fact he’d been thinking about that exact scenario for months. Since Penelope had mentioned just how good British men were in bed, in fact. Because he felt both sick and curious as to whatever it had been that had come out of her mouth in return, “And I’ll look after the boys while the two of you move on, because you’ll feel sorry for taking my only friends away from me when you leave, and I’ll be forced to become a lonely, old cat man,” 

“That’s not true,” She said, her face warming when he chuckled cynically, running a hand through his hair, “Spence, you can’t actually believe that?”

“Yes it is, Bugsy, you don’t need to try and make me feel better,” He brushed her off, wiping his knuckles over heavy eyelids, “You and I both like facts, right? It’s a quantifiable fact that zero women except Maeve have ever fallen in love with me in thirty years. Even if we call it twelve years to remove the factor of less meaningful relationships developing before adulthood, that means I’ll be forty two by the time I next get a shot, at which point I’ll be too old and washed up for anyone to find me attractive. Let’s face it, no one is ever going to love me like that again,”

“That’s not true,” She repeated, her chest hammering, her face scrunched into a scowl, “You’re wrong. Quantifiably wrong.”

“You have no data to back that statement up, Bug,” He replied with a dark snicker, and maybe it was the lack of sleep or the idea of her engaged to some other bonehead that had made him so crass, “Can’t make a conclusion without drawing on your evidence, to which you have none,” 

“Yes, I do, asshole. I know for a fact that someone is in love with you,” She snapped, and it was like a bolt of lightning had cut through their conversation, blowing up in her face, her entire body freezing the second the words had left her mouth.

She looked at him, her eyes panicked, and all teasing had dropped out of his expression, leaving something confused, “Bug-”

“I don’t know why I said that,” She cut him off, jumping into action and avoiding his burning gaze. But he was fast, and he was pushing off the counter just as quickly as her. 

“Bugsy, what do you mean? I don’t understand,” He persisted, darting only a pace behind her when she moved towards the living room to grab her cardigan off the back of the sofa.

She shook her head, “Ignore that, it doesn’t matter,”

“No, what did you mean by that?” Spencer asked, his voice tense because he had never seen her cower away from him like that, her body moving entirely into a state of flight. She shook her head, snatching the white fabric in her fingers and spinning on her heel to head for the doorway. But there he was, blocking her escape, his impossibly tall body stopping her right in her tracks, and she didn’t need to look up to know he had that special Spencer brand of Puppy Eyes. 

“I’m going to the store-”

“Bugsy,” 

“It doesn’t matter, Spence, just leave it,” She said shakily, trying to duck around him only for him to dodge to the left and stop her advance, “Spence, leave it, please,” 

“What did you mean? Just tell me,” He begged, his cadence wary, the sound of it flushing her entire chest with a heat she’d never known. She swore she was going into cardiac arrest, her heartbeat was in her throat, and it made it difficult to swallow, let alone push him away, “Do you know something?”

Her breaths were deep, begging her chest to behave as it damn near spun her vision into dizziness. He was just a man. He was just a boy. How could he have so much control over her entire body when he had barely even touched her? When he had just asked her one tiny little question? 

It was unethical, how her stomach rippled with butterflies the second she dared to look at his hazel eyes, round and intense where they never left her face. It should have been illegal for begging to look so good on him. 

She took a sigh, shaking her head and looking back to his mismatched socks, chuckling bitterly, and putting her head in her hands. She couldn’t escape from this, her only defence mechanism was to curl into herself like an armadillo against a predator, her attacker being the god's honest truth that he was owed years ago. 

“I really,” She cleared her throat, her eyes starting to burn with unshed tears, “I really messed things up with you,” 

“What?” Spencer’s hot hands wrapped around her wrists, pulling them away from her face so he could hear her every word clearly, “I thought we were okay now, I thought we were friends again,”

She laughed emptily, her bottom lip quivering, her hands shaking under his touch. He was so warm, he always had been, but it felt as if he was everywhere when he was only really touching the skin of her pulsepoint. She hoped he couldn’t feel just how it beat for him, beat so loud and fast all for him. 

“That’s the problem,” She whispered, her glassy eyes meeting his as she gave an unsure breath, gulping loudly. It was like he stared right at her soul, and pleaded it to speak to him. And she had never been able to say no to him, not when he looked like that, “When I came back from London, I came back to tell you that…” 

She breathed again, because she felt like she was holding it while she confessed, she knew it was no wonder she felt so dizzy, but she couldn’t look away from him, where his face was morphing into realisation. 

“I came to tell you that.. I-I’m in love with you, Spencer,” A single tear dribbled down her cheek, but he let go of her hands quickly to catch it, his lips pressing together in a silenced word, most like ‘oh’. His brows quirked above his nose, his eyes turning into devastation as soon as she’d said it. But it was out there now, so there was no use in trying to keep it in anymore. “I have been, for a while I think, and I wanted to tell you because I thought you might-might-” She gulped, the finger that had brushed the first tear stroking down until it rested under her jaw, the feeling of it damn near making her whine, “I don’t know, I just hoped you would feel anything back- but you don’t have to say anything, I know you’re hurting and so I just kept it in, but every time I see you I feel like I’m choking and I don’t know how to make it stop-”

“Tell me you’re lying,” Spencer said with a biting tone, his eyes honey comb gold and glistening when he looked at her. It couldn’t be true. He never got this lucky. It couldn’t be, he refused-

She shook her head frantically, her eyes pleading and wet, “Never, Spencer. I would never lie to you. I’m sorry if I’ve upset you- I know you’re hurting, I know you’re grieving and I shouldn’t have assumed-“

“I love you too,” He whispered, and it was like her words came to fruition as her voice was robbed, the air leaving her lungs. Her jaw dropped, her wet eyes boring into his chest, his hands skirting up to hold her face in his hands, thumbs stroking over her tear ladened skin, “God, Bug, I’ve loved you for so long, I thought you didn’t want anything like that after that kiss-”

Her expression dropped, eyebrows scrunching together, “What kiss?” 

He blanked, for once speechless. Only the kiss he’d torn himself to pieces over for weeks and weeks. “The night- that Derek brought you over when you’d had…” He trailed off, wanting to throttle himself for how dumb he’d been in retrospect, “When you’d had the Molly,” 

Her hand slapped over her mouth, his own hands flying to palm at his eyes, because how could he be so incredibly stupid. Ecstasy was a memory suppressant. He knew, he knew better than most, that taking recreational drugs like that robbed you of even the most life shattering moments. 

She didn’t remember. How could she? She was so out of it she could barely walk without stumbling over a flat surface. And instead of asking her, instead of simply growing a pair and seeing what she remembered, he’d gotten a girlfriend.

This was all wrong. This was so wrong. The guilt from Maeve dying was a wound that had cut him deep, and yet having Bugsy in his arms so placid and warm and adoring was a salve he had never dreamed would feel so numbing.

“We kissed?” She asked, her eyes blazing with embarrassment, her hand running through her hair in shock horror, “I don’t- how don’t I remember that- that’s all I dreamed of for months-” 

“Technically you kissed me,” He explained, despite the fact his cheeks had set on fire hearing her confess even the smallest bit more to him. She loved him. She was in love with him. She had been for months, she said. She loved him. “It would have been wrong if I did anything even if it was all I’d thought of too. And I just thought, because you never mentioned it, that you didn’t want to remember it at all,” 

He felt like he’d taken some sort of truth serum, like he should shut himself up any second now because he was spilling his longest kept secret to the one person who should have never been privy to it. But it was okay if she knew. Because she loved him.

She looked at him, and he swore he’d never seen eyes so beautiful, but then he’d always loved her eyes. But the way they looked at him, as if he’d had a bag pulled from over his head, or his glasses had been given the correct prescription, because it was like he suddenly saw just how adoring she looked when she watched him like that. 

And despite herself, she laughed. 

It was girlish, and carefree, and happy. So, so happy. And he started laughing too. She fell into his chest, her face hot with embarrassment, and he wrapped his arms around her, feeling her giggling into his shirt, shaking her head. 

“We’re so fucking stupid,” She said, and it was mumbled, and the sound of it made him smile wider.

“I’m a stupid, stupid man. I’m so sorry, Bug,” He replied, his large hand stroking down the back of her hair though a sour taste crawled up his throat. 

He still owed Maeve that dance. Just as he’d told Rossi. Who had told Bugsy, because he knew she had some magic way of getting her way with everyone.

She pulled away, her eyes young and so incredibly pretty when she smiled at him like that. Sensing his hesitation, she tried to pull away from his embrace, worried like it was second nature to her by now that she’d overstepped. Only he didn’t let her. He kept his hand at the back of her head, one under her arm to pin her close to his body, because he wasn’t going to be stupid enough to let her go twice. 

“You said you tried to tell me when you got back from London?” He said softly, and she nodded, like her confession had taken everything out of her, “But then when you got here… I was with Maeve,” 

She swallowed, worried where he was going, and nodded again wordlessly. 

He chewed the inside of his lip, taking a deep breath for courage, “I’m still- I feel terrible if-”

“You can still grieve, Spencer,” She cut him off, knowing what he was struggling to say, and his eyes crawled back up to meet her gaze, “It’s not heinous to need time to think, I know it’s a lot to ask, I never expected you to-”

He cut her off with a kiss to the apple of her cheek, warm and angelic, the feeling of it forcing her mouth shut, because she worried she might just whimper in delight if she didn’t. Her hand flew up to his forearm that moved around to cup neatly under her ear, his fingers weaving into her hair as he kissed again down near her jaw, her eyes fluttering shut. And when she thought it was done, when she thought her luck was spent, he kissed her again, on the cusp of her lips, a ghost breath slipping from a parted mouth, because she thought she might have just died and gone to heaven. 

“Bugsy, I love you,” Spencer said, and her heart felt full, so full her eyes welled up all over again because it was everything she had ever wanted, “I just need a little time,”

Her eyelids flicked open, and the bliss written over her face took a knock, her head reeling back like he’d burned her. But, as before, he didn’t let her go, He refused to let her run away again. Not when he had everything he wanted, “That’s not a ‘no’. It’s just a very stupid man who has loved you for longer than you’d know hoping on everything that you’ll be willing to give me a month or two. I want to do this right, you deserve to have this done right, and I want to give you only the best version of myself,” 

Spencer’s heart pounded against his slender ribcage as he waited for her response, because he knew he was pushing his luck. But he’d meant every word of it, and he figured if he had any chance at being the guy he’d always told himself she needed, he’d need to be honest with her. They’d need to be honest with each other.

But she smiled at him, sweet and besotted beneath his palm, and he didn’t know why he’d ever doubted her. 

“I waited six years, what’s a few months on top of that?” She smirked, her face glowing when he pressed another gentle kiss to her forehead, and he felt how hot her blood ran under his touch. He hoped she couldn’t feel how his did the same. 

“I promise. Just a few more months, bug,”

And he meant it. With everything in him, Spencer meant it. He wouldn’t let her go ever again. 

--

TAGLIST:

@release-your-sweets @smileykiddie08 @caramelised-onions. @the-tpd-bau @stephthepeach @sunflowersndpeaches s @sammy-4103 @starmansirius @yeonalie @delusionallooney @hades-disappointment-child @sadbae-33 @mdanon027 @swag13r @frickin-bats @bilesxbilinskixlahey @mindfullycriminal @mrsbellastyles @nilopillo @imagines--galore @bluejaysaysstuff @imaginexred @flow33didontsmoke @spicyspirit @mywellspringoflife @lovelyygirl8 @pleasantwitchgarden @star-girl-interlud3 @rosylnsworld @jamieolivia27 @halcyonwithletters @waywardhunter95 @ineedtosusoutmyreadinglist @theoraekenslover @niktwazny303 @bliindmattmurdock @alyeskathewave @littlemadamred @yondiii @cultish-corner @lllucere @escapismurmom @stillhere197 @hiireadstuff @amortencjja @queermaxwooo @telengraph @ivyflowers13 @estrela-rogers @greenvita @busy-buzzing @kitty-kei @universallyblizzardlove @suckstobrlaurie

[gilverrwrites]

If that ask was too long and elaborate, I have another one!

What about a fic with Batman, where the reader finds out she’s pregnant and doesn’t know how to tell Bruce since he already has mature/ teenager kids and she doesn’t know if he wants to raise one from the infant stage to adulthood.

She kinda overthinks about it and distance herself from Bruce. He notice it and when she would confess, to her surprise, Bruce would get super exited!

What I don't understand

AN: I'm back baby! At least partly, my hand is still on and off achy so I won't we posting as activiely as I have previously. I've done so much research on pregnancy that all my adds are now of pregancy tests, fertilitie test, baby stuff, I'm worried my bf might start to suspect that I'm pregnant which would be akward Bruce Wayne/F!Reader, 3.9K words CW: Husband/Wife dynamic, pregnancy, feet (none sexual), mentions of vomit, body dysmorphia, lying/sneaking around, prenatal anxiety/depression, martial problems, swearing. Fluffy ending tho!

Pregnancy brain is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Or maybe that's insanity, who knows? You ponder the thought as you fidget with the flimsy cardboard packaging of the pregnancy test you're awaiting the results of as if you don't know the answer. You'd already taken countless tests, trialling different brands in the hopes of a different outcome but every single one of them had confirmed your situation with variations on lines and plus signs. They'd never offered you a negative, and yet you keep trying.

There was no denying it, and pretty soon there would be no hiding. You were fast approaching the end of your first trimester at 9 weeks but had only found out about a month ago. The task of informing Bruce while there was still time to act seems to grow bigger and scarier with each passing day. Not to mention; it's becoming increasingly obvious that he already suspected something is wrong.

3 weeks ago:

The cold tile against your aching feet felt like ecstasy. You couldn’t help but close your eyes and lean against the wall, relishing in every second of release as you awaited Jason’s return.

You’d spend hours hiding your pain, precariously balancing in a pair of heels as you kept up appearances during a charity event being held at the manor. Bruce was currently being cornered by a visiting dignitary, and as bad as you felt leaving him alone, it might have been your only chance. You’d slipped away to an off-limits hallway, grasping Jason’s who had drawn the short straw for event appearances along the way. Once out of view to your guests you’d begged him to retrieve a pair of pumps from your bedroom, the petty prospect of keeping it secret from, and thus getting a one-up on his adoptive father being the primary motivator. That and he owed you, a lot, for defusing many situations in which he and your husband had butt heads.

The weight of your discarded shoes hung heavily from your fingers, you hadn’t realised how weighty they were. A shame, because they were so pretty. They were a gift from Bruce, strappy and bedazzled, the perfect colour to match your dress. Another pair for your ever-expanding collection, he’d always favoured gifting you shoes and purses, and you certainly didn’t mind, at least not until your ankles had begun swelling at the mere notion of being used for their primary function.

“Are you okay? You seem off.” Jason’s voice returning to the hall made you jump out of your stupor, and he watched with concern as you tucked your heels behind a curtain and slipped into the flats he’d brought you.

“Fine, fine.” You smile, patting his arm with a reassuring smile. “Just didn’t wear those in properly and now I’m paying the price.”

“Right.” He still seemed dubious and was about to say something else when a door creeks open, redirecting both of your attention.

Bruce stood in the doorway, stern, arms crossed. He glares at the both of you, he and Jason have a very similar glare. His eyes focus in on you, identifying you as the main culprit, his gaze roves across your form, lingering on your feet for an uncomfortably long time before speaking.

“If I have to suffer through this, so do the two of you.” He points behind him. “In.”

Jason’s face is obscured as he takes the lead, but Bruce must not like his expression because his frown seems to deepen.

You followed close behind, careful not to step on the hem of your dress now that you lack the additional six inches the heels had offered but your integration back into the crowd is halted. Bruce traced his hand along your back, cupping the curve of your waist and directing you to a lesser populated spot amongst the outskirts of your visitants.

The stony look on his face was gone, replaced with a polite smile for the crowd and softer eyes for you.

“What happened to your shoes?” His voice was low, in-perceivable to anyone but yourself.

“My feet were sore is all.” It’s not a lie.

“Too sore for dancing?” He asks, voice as slick as silk and you don’t want to agree but yes, they are too sore dancing. Not to mention you’d gotten nauseous from standing up too quickly only hours earlier but damn if you didn’t want to dance with your husband. Want to feel his chest against yours, his hands on your curves, admire the smile on his face. There are few things you enjoy more than any form of intimacy with Bruce.

“Maybe later.” You sighed, “I think I need to sit down for a while.”

2 weeks ago:

‘Breast changes are another very early sign of pregnancy. Your hormone levels rapidly change after the egg is fertilized. Because of these changes, your breasts may become swollen, sore, or tingly.’

You groaned aloud, rereading the entry on WebMD once more. You hadn’t expected your breasts to change so early on, incorrectly assuming any swelling or pain would be a result of breast milk, but you were wrong.

Believing you had the house to yourself, you figure now was as good a time as any to read up on more early pregnancy symptoms, to correct any other misconception you might have. You were midway through reading about progesterone and how it causes constipation when your laptop pinged.

A notification popped up in the corner of the screen, a DM from UserDC27, Bruce’s bat-server codename. You click to open the message and audibly gasp when a screenshot of your browsing history greets you, framed in red with its own ‘suspicious activity’ notification in the corner.

‘Pregnancy trimesters in weeks’ ‘Swollen breasts pregnant’ ‘Early pregnancy symptoms’

Amongst all the suspicious browsing habits of this family, of course yours had flagged up! Fucking ridiculous!

UserDC27: ? UserRI01: For a friend UserRI01: dw UserRI01: Love you x UserDC27: is typing… UserRI01: has signed out.

1 weeks ago:

“Good morning.” A familiar voice greeted you, strong hands slink around your body, brushing against your back and hips before settling on your stomach. What should have been a sweet moment frightened you, disturbing you from your train of thought and causing you to almost spill your morning decaf coffee.

“Woah there.” Bruce laughed, the warmth and proximity of him soothing you quickly. He effortlessly took the mug from your hands and settled it on the kitchen island so he could pull you closer without spillage.

“Sorry.” You mumbled, turning your head to rest it against his chest. The strength of his cologne is always so much stronger in the mornings, the scent of the man you love, of citrus and woodsiness does wonders to comfort your frantic brain no matter the time or place. “Just lost in thought.”

After a second you realise your mistake, you’ve allowed him an opening to ask what you’re thinking about and that exact moment certainly did not feel like the right time, what with Damian in the next room. You should be alone, completely alone.

He surprises you however, always one for keeping everyone on their toes, by spinning you around to face him and telling you, “I don’t think that’s it.”

“What do you think it is?” You tried to keep your voice airy, relaxed, unsuspicious but even you can hear the guilt in your tone.

“I think you’re tired.” He watches you with a playful glint in his eye, but the next words out of his mouth are accusatory no matter how light his tone is. “Where are you sneaking off to in the mornings, oh wife of mine?”

“W-what?” You heard him fine, you were stalling while you calculated a response. You had been sneaking off in the mornings and the fact that he’s asking so playfully, as opposed to interrogating which he is not unknown to do even with you, means he knows more than he’s letting on.

Bruce isn’t exactly an early riser, often too tired from long nights of crime fighting and case filing, but he is a light sleeper. Always on alert. He’d already caught you in a bought of morning sickness once. Roused by the unpleasant noises you’d been making. You’d lied about it, citing an upset tummy from something you’d eaten. You weren’t sure which was worse, the vomiting, the sombre expression he’d given you as he approached to rub your back throughout, or the look of horror on Alfred’s face when Bruce had brought up your supposed food poisoning later that day.

Ever since you’d purposely been rising early and sneaking off to dispel any nausea in one of the many guest bedrooms.

“Nowhere, I’m just becoming more of a morning person I guess.”

He eyed you sceptically, and you thought you might crack under the pressure. His hands reach up to cup your face, preventing you from turning away. His touch is so gentle, so soft for a man of his stature. “You can tell me anything, you know that?”

“Of course.”

As if you couldn’t feel worse he adds; “I miss waking up to you beside me.”

“Oh Brucie-“

You’re already on your tip toes, ready to concede, to apologise, to shower your sullen husband with kisses when you’re saved by the signal. Literally, a call from Duke 'The Signal' Thomas, with a reminder of your apprehension; an active situation that needed Batman’s participation.

Your relationship, and now marriage to Bruce had always hinged on an unspoken understanding that Gotham comes first. Even with Tim taking over most of his responsibilities at Wayne Tech, Bruce simply does not have enough time to raise a baby. You can't expect him to take turns with the nighttime feeds, with the frequent nappy changes, with the constant attention an infant will need.

You’ve no doubt Alfred would delight in assisting you, he's been dropping hints about wanting a baby Brucie since the engagement, and you love him very much but if you’re to raise a baby, you want to do it with your husband, not his butler.

That’s presuming your husband even wants a child. Another child. He already has enough children to populate a small village. Children with lives of their own. Children who in some way or another have followed in his vigilante footsteps. You think of the stress and trauma each of them has faced, and how it has affected them and their father. You think of Steph and her tremulous relationships with Bruce and Arthur. Of Jason’s deaths, plural. Of Dicks ineptitude to form meaningful relationships with anyone outside of the lifestyle. Of all the childhoods so many, but especially Cass and Damian missed out on. Could you be responsible for putting another child through any of that?

Furthermore, if your child wanted to live this life, could you really stop them? Nobody stopped Tim. Nobody stopped Barbara, when Jim had tried it only caused the rift between them to grow bigger.

Could Bruce stop your unborn child? Would he want to?

Speak of the Oracle. The chime of your phone draws you out of your spiral of perinatal anxieties. It’s Barbara, informing the girls-only group chat that she’s running late for lunch. Crap. You’d completely forgotten that you’d promised the girls lunch and shopping. Barbara had some tech on hold, Steph wanted to try the new caramel cookie waffles at Goodilicious, and Cass needed new boots whether she knew it or not.

Hurriedly, you shove the used test into a previously disused makeup bag that is now full of other used tests. It's starting to smell, but you don't have time to figure out how to stealthily throw it out, so you hide it at the back of a cupboard behind a basket of sanitary products before rushing out the door.

Later

Catching up with the girls had been fun, it had really helped you forget about your predicament and just relax for a while, but it had also taken a lot out of you, keeping you out well past dinner. Your body just was not functioning as well as it used to, for obvious reasons.

Upon returning to the mansion you’d made it to the ground floor lounge, feet too sore to even consider the stairs, and collapsed on the closest couch, exerting just enough energy to pry your shoes and sock off of your swollen feet prior to falling asleep. Just a quick nap you tell yourself, to regain some energy, you’ll be right as rain in time for Damian’s bedtime. He’s old enough now to put himself to bed, especially given that he often patrols with his father until the early hours of the morning, but tonight is his night off and you’d always make the effort to wish him sweet dreams when you can.

You’re awoken by the feel of calloused fingers pressing into the arches of your feet. You hadn’t heard him enter, but Bruce is sitting on the arm of the couch, in nothing but sweatpants and slippers. Between his bare chest and cowl hair, he is a welcome sight, bruised chest and freshly cut lip and all.

“What happened to you?” You ask, voice husky from your impromptu nap. You manage to draw your eyes away from Bruce long enough to check the time on an antique wall clock, it’s 4 AM. You’d far exceeded a nap. “Where’s Damian?”

“Nothing I couldn’t handle. Damian is asleep. When you didn’t wish him a goodnight he came to look for you, that’s how I knew you were here.” He asserts. He looks at you with a furrowed brow and pinched lips, working his thumb into the arch of your feet with just enough pressure to make you mewl in relief. “Are you punishing me for something?”

The question hits you like a ton of bricks, it’s not without merit. You hadn’t intended to spend the night on the couch, but you can understand how it must look to him, especially in tangent with the ways in which you had intentionally been avoiding him; sneaking out in the mornings, not allowing him to see your naked body for fear that he’ll notice your swollen breasts, and growing belly. You hadn’t had sex in at least three weeks.

All at once you are overcome with remorse. You’d been so consumed with the pregnancy and how best to approach the subject with Bruce that you hadn’t stopped to think how your actions would weigh on him. He’s so strong, your anchor, an unchanging presence for the whole family. He locks himself and his emotions behind the big bad bat or billionaire Brucie so well that sometimes he forgets he has them. Sometimes you forget. Even now, clearly hurting and concerned for his marriage, he’s rubbing your feet.

“No of course not Bruce, I’m sorry…” your mind starts to form the end of your apology ‘I was just so tired’ or ‘it’s been a long day’ and they wouldn’t be lies but they’re not the right thing to say. You can’t keep postponing for the ‘right moment’ that will never come, can’t keep chickening out. He needs to know the truth. “I’m- I’m pregnant.”

You’re not sure how you’d expected him to respond really. You’d feared anger, hoped for joy but instead, he continues to stare at you, his brows raising in a way that implied he needed more information. He swaps your left foot for your right as he awaits your resumption. When you don’t speak he nods and states; “I know.”

“You know?” As though possessed your tired body launches into an upright seated position. “How could you know?”

Bruce smiles in response, an amused, tight-lipped ‘Are you kidding?’ smile.

“Well, to name a few things;” he counts off each observation on his fingers. “You’ve stopped wearing heels because your ankles are constantly swollen, your breasts are also noticeably swollen even under your clothes, you now only drink decaf, you seemingly have ‘food poisoning’ every morning and at no other time of day, a massive increase in urination, and my personal favourite, the bag full of positive pregnancy tests behind a crate-full of menstrual products that haven’t been used in almost three months.”

He’s trying to hide it, but he’s smug about his own detective skills. His mouth might be straight but there’s a fire in his eyes that has you drawing your legs away from him with a huff, abruptly ending the massage you had been enjoying. “How long have you known?”

“I’d had my suspicions for about 6 weeks, but I wasn’t certain until I found your stash last week.” Typical of Bruce to have figured out you were pregnant before you’d known yourself. “What I don’t understand, is why you didn’t tell me. Why you’ve been lying.”

“I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t have kept this from you. I was going to but…” You trail off,  straightening your thoughts as best you can and finding your composure, preparing to begin monologuing about your concerns. “I didn’t know how you’d feel about it, what with you know, already having so many kids. Everyone but Damian has flown the nest, Dick and Babs are married! They’re all so grown up, do you really want to start again? And then…”

Conscious of your rambling you cut yourself off, looking to Bruce for reassurance that you’re not talking too much, that he’s not offended by your worries. He consoles you by coming closer, sitting on the cushion beside you and easily coaxing your legs over his. His firm hands are gentle as they grasp your knee.

“And what?” He questions.

“I wasn’t sure how I feel, I wanted to figure that out before talking to you.”

“What do you think you feel about it?”

“I think I want to have your baby Bruce, our baby.” So caught up in your thoughts, you hadn’t noticed your husband’s hands creeping higher and higher up your body until a hand settles on your stomach, his thumb stroking you through the fabric of your shirt. You’d been so self-conscious of its growth but as you look at it now, under Bruce’s sturdy fingers, you realise it isn’t much bigger than it had been pre-pregnancy. How tedious your problems seemed when voiced and put into perspective, except maybe one. “I’m just not sure about how… well I guess I never thought about raising a child within your lifestyle.”

“I understand.” He nods, confirming his statement. He’s done well to keep his face soft but neutral throughout, a staple of his Batman facade but also a careful way not to let his own emotions interfere with yours.

“What do you think?” He looks down at your abdomen as he considers his words. You follow his gaze, watching as his fingers lift your top, exposing your skin to him. Without warning he lowers himself to pepper your belly with gentle kisses, the ticklish motion causes you to giggle and writhe beneath him.

When he looks up at you again he’s smiling, the motion causing the scab on his lip to split and bleed. Without thought you pull yourself closer to him, using his broad shoulders as leverage. Once close enough you dab at the minor wound with your thumb soaking up the fluid as best you can and examining the cut to ensure no further damage.

Bruce watches you intently the whole time, cupping your face in his hand when you appear satisfied. The adoration in his eyes makes you feel sheepish even after everything you’ve been through together.

“I think,” his voice is low, sincere. “I couldn’t be happier to be growing our family together. I think this child, like all our children, will be lucky to have you as a mother, whatever life they choose to lead.”

The amount of pent-up tension in your body had not been apparent to you until now. Until your body noticeably lightens in response to his words. The relief of no longer sneaking around, no more fretting over how he might react has you wishing you’d done this a long time ago.

“Bruce?” You sag into his chest, breathing him in. His arms unconsciously wrap around you in response, pulling you in for a tighter embrace. “We’re having a baby.”

“Were are having a baby.” He confirms, pressing more, tender kisses to your neck, the curve of a smile apparent as his lips press to your exposed skin. "I've been waiting for this moment since the day we me. But, I think it’s time we got to bed, it’s late.”

Swift and practiced, Bruce lifts you from the couch, cradling you in the bridal position. You stretch to check the clock, 4:34 AM.

“Technically it’s early.” You jest, expecting him to punish your cheek by jolting you in the air or throwing you over his shoulder as he normally does, but instead, he chides you with an amused glare, clearly too concerned about the baby for play fighting.

“Neither of us has been to bed, it’s late.” His grip tightens on your body as he makes his way up the stairs, one steady step at a time. “And I expect my wife to be in our bed when I wake up.”

“Hmmm.” Your morning sickness has eased in the last few days, you’d only persisted in sneaking out to be safe, but he doesn’t need to know that just yet. “I’ll try, but I might be in our bathroom.”

“I can cope with that. At least then I can care for you. And we can throw out your hoard.” You don’t fuss over the likelihood of him having to rush off to save the day or for an urgent board meeting, you just throw your head back, laughing at yourself for trying to hide anything from Bruce.

When you reach the bedroom he lays you in the bed and climbs over your form. He’s in full caretaker mode, a manner you could get used to. He carefully removes your clothes, offers to redress you in your sleepwear and to bring you your lotions, or anything you should need from the bathroom.

Dawn is breaking behind your blackout curtains by the time you’re both settled in bed, entangled in each other’s arms. Sleep has nearly taken you again when Bruce whispers; “I do have one other thought.”

“Oh?" You peer at him curiously over your shoulder. "Yes dear?”

“I think you should be the one to tell Damian.”

His request hangs heavy in the air as you consider the implication. “Tell Damian that he will no longer be your only blood child?”

The room remains silent, he doesn’t expand because you know what he’s getting at. Damian probably won’t mind, because he’ll still be the oldest, the first in line and you’re certain he’ll be a wonderful older brother, he’s great with animals, so why not babies? Right?

“… That's not fair.”

“Think of it as penance for lying to me all month.” There’s an air of humour in his voice as he pulls you closer still, squeezing himself into your back and planting sleepy kisses against your neck. “Besides, he’ll probably take it better from you. I think he likes you more.”

[forgeofthenine]

I love how you write about the tieflings so much! I totally fig all the headcannons and everything!

Now.. in the spirit of the heat and rut stuff.. whatnif the tieflimg ba helors arent in a rut and find their tiefling girlfriends in heat?

Like they walk in and they see their girlfriend fingering themselves or humbing a pillow whimpering and moaning and stuff.

Here's the first post of the year guys! Sorry for the short hiatus, work has been busy and my dog currently has an infection I needed to take him to the vet for (let me know if anyone wants pictures of him in his cone of shame lmao). Starting the year off right, with some heat and rut smut! I tried out a format I've used similarly before, hopefully you guys like it! Thanks for the request Nanitheart :)

The tiefling bachelors (+Halsin) when their partner is in heat

Dammon

Dammon keeps a mental note of when your last heat was and when he can expect your next one

Luckily your heat tends to line up pretty well with his own rut

However, he spends a lot of time at work away from the house and it's really not uncommon for him to come home to the surprise of you in heat

It's apparent as soon as he comes home, finding himself surrounded by your scent the moment he walks over the threshold

By time Dammons made it to your bedroom he's already in his underwear

The two of you will be finding his clothes around the house for weeks

He's already flushed when he reaches you, unbearably hard when he sees you taking advantage of the toy he'd gotten you a while ago

The sound of blood rushing through your ears deafens you to anything else, eyes closed as you arch your back and try to find yet another release. You'd been stuck there all afternoon, writhing in your sheets, and had to resort to the dildo your lover had gifted you. In his absence you'd soon grown bored with just fingers.

A loud moan leaves you as your body trembles, legs splayed and a hand thrusting the toy as deep as possible. The way it stretched you felt good but it wasn't the same. It wasn't Dammon. Only then does your partner make himself known, voice cutting clear through your lust hazed mind.

"Oh, my darling, how long have you been like this?" Dammon asks, crawling over you on the bed. His own hand covers yours to carefully thrust the toy slowly inside you again. "Do you need me to make you feel better? Can't cum again without my help?" It's all teasing, you know it is, but an involuntary whine of his name leaves your throat as you nod.

It's not long before strong hands grip your legs and pull you forward, Dammon kneeling happily between your legs. You're about to whine again before you feel it, the firm tip of his tail brushing over your already full entrance and slipping in alongside the toy.

"Let me prepare you first, baby."

Zevlor

Zevlor keeps a calender in his private study that tracks your heats and his ruts

He actually knows when you're in heat before you do sometimes

On the odd occasion you happen to go on heat unexpectedly, he treats it like a pleasant little surprise

Another one that realises as soon as he opens the front door

Zevlors been through more then a few ruts brought on early by things like this so he's a lot less impatient

Knocks on the bedroom door before entering so he doesn't surprise you

What he wasn't expecting was to hear you already crying out for him, or to open the door and see you knuckle deep fingering yourself

It seems like it's been an eternity since the burning arousal of your heat flooded you, confining you to the plush bed you and Zevlor share. Burying your face into his pillow is one of the few things that helps, indulging in the scent of him as you touch yourself. If you think hard enough you can almost hear him.

Then the bed dips. Soon calloused hands are running up your bare legs as your bleary eyes meet Zevlors. His pupils are mere pinpricks as his rut settles in, his own arousal clear as your eyes dip between his legs. "How long have you been here like this, my love?" He asks, tender words paired with him swatting your hand away to replace it with his own.

You let out a low moan as two of his fingers push into you, stretching you more than your own ever could. "Too long... Please Zev-" You're soon calmed with gentle shushes, Zevlor carefully adding in a third finger as he shifts lower on the bed. Warm breath ghosts over your skin as he leans in, spreading warm kisses up the tops of your thigh.

"It's okay, let me take care of you now."

Rolan

This man has no space in his mind for tracking heats and ruts, he usually forgets when his own rut is going to hit

It's really not a surprise for him to take a while to realise you've gone on heat

What is a surprise is just how long he spent away from the tower this particular time, picking up some things for the store before seeing his siblings

You can imagine his shock when he'd left you relaxing in his office with a book and comes back to you grinding against a pillow on your shared bed

His mouth goes dry at the sight of your hips rolling against it, head thrown back in frustration

Rolans own rut hits him like a truck and all he can think of is how much he needs to fuck you

As soon as you turn to look at him again all bets are off, and soon Rolans clothes are too

You're hardly able to get a glance at your lover before he pounces on you, feeling yourself fall with a rush as a hard body presses you to the bed. Sharp teeth tease and nip at your neck, leaving claiming marks and small bruises in their wake. Soon, you hear the small growl from Rolans chest.

"So fucking desperate you had to grind against my pillow to get off?" He sneers, pulling back to flip you to your stomach. Clawed hand pull your hips so you lie head down and ass up just how he likes. Already you feel him sliding his cock against your entrance, grinding against you.

A whine and a plead leave you, exactly what Rolan likes. His long cock slides in easily with how you're prepared and feels endless as he fills you slowly. Soon you realise that's the only time he'll be slow with you, quickly pulling out before snapping his hips back against yours.

He takes you like this for the rest of the night, teasing and punishing you for making a mess of his pillow. Hands and a tail pull and push you in different positions over and over again. Rolan isn't pleased until you're panting and fucked out beneath him, so full with his cum that it drips down your thighs.

Halsin

Halsin is very aware of heats and ruts, despite not being affected personally

Just ask how he got his scar across his face and you'll realise how familiar he is

Despite not being able to smell when your hormones change like a male tiefling might, he's still very accurate when assuming when you'll go on heat

And there's no better sight in his opinion than walking in on you all flushed and needy right at the begining of your heat

When you just clue on to what's happing and why your thoughts keep straying to your elven lover

Halsins happy to drag things out a little, braiding your hair back if it's long enough, making sure you have food

The entire time you're whining for him, pressing your thighs together in your need for this man, until he finally takes you to bed

Shock rushes through you as you're swept up to a bridal carry, surrounded by firm muscles as you're carried out of the room. It's easy enough to lean up, lips covering the tan neck in front of you with kisses and nips as a chuckle leaves the chest you rest against. Halsin tightens his grip on you, his easygoing grin deceptive compared to his sharp eyes.

You're soon tossed into a pile of blankets and first on your shared bed, trying to shed your clothes once free of Halsins grip. Calloused hands join you, freeing you from fabric confines and running over your bare skin. Two thick fingers run over your entrance, teasing against it before pressing in and stretching you out on him. Even just the two fingers feel unbelievably thick, your back arching as they slip in deeper.

"So beautiful, Silvanus has truly blessed me with this sight." Halsin chuckles, watching as you writhe at the feeling of his fingers and slipping in a third. Every moan you let out goes straight to the mans dick, the sight of it mouthwatering as it presses against the crotch of his pants. You'll have to wait, though, and let your lover bring you to ecstasy with only his fingers first. Repeatedly

[sleepingpillscosmos]

one sitting on the counter as the other grabs a spoon + pint of ice cream from the fridge and feeds it to their lover.

with love of my life megumi fushiguro !!!!

TAKING CARE — megumi fushiguro

pairing: megumi fushiguro x fem!reader.

warnings/content: reader is drunk. idk if it's a warning but megumi and reader share a spoon.

wc: 1.1k.

requested: yes, by anon.

a/n: I was really exited to write this! it's my favourite prompt and someone requested it for one of my favourite characters as well! I'm behind with the event requests, but today I'll post at least another one! sorry but recently I've been really busy :(

prompt: one sitting on the counter as the other grabs a spoon + pint of ice cream from the fridge and feeds it to their lover.

It was 1:30 am and Megumi was sitting on his couch, watching some random show he found on tv several minutes ago. He couldn't sleep, he didn't know exactly why, probably the reason was the long nap he took this afternoon.

He checked his phone, looking if he had any new notifications, but nothing new appeared. He sighed and turned his gaze back to the tv.

He was starting to doze off on his couch, but the doorbell rang, making him flinch for the sudden noise. He got up from the couch, making his way to the door. He opened the door, immediately squinting his eyes in surprise. In front of him appeared Nobara and Itadori, the latter holding you, with your arm around his neck and his around your middle to help you stand.

"What happened?" Megumi asked, sighing, already knowing what his friends were about to say.

"We went out to drink something," Nobara explained and Megumi nodded. You mentioned your plans to him this afternoon. "And she had a little too much..".

Megumi's eyes went back on you. You were still all over Yūji, probably fast asleep.

He sighed, lifting his arms towards you. "Come on, give her to me.".

Itadori immediately obliged, moving to pass you over to Megumi. He grabbed you, grunting slightly once your full weight was on him. With all this movement, you woke up.

You looked up confused.

"'Gumi!" You exclaimed when you realised who was holding you. "I missed you so much.".

You hugged your boyfriend tightly wrapping your arms around his neck, giving some sort of relief to Megumi when you lifted some of your weight off of him.

"Hi, missed you too." Megumi smiled softly to you, forgetting for a moment that your two friends were still in front of you. Yūji was smiling slightly and Nobara was trying not to laugh at his friend's lovesick face.

"I'm really tired.." You said, resting your head on Megumi's shoulder. "I know. Let's go to bed, okay?".

You nodded leaving a kiss on his neck and snuggling deeper in his embrace.

"Thank you for bringing her here. See you soon." He said to his friend before closing the door behind him.

"Are you able to walk?" He asked, his arms still around you to support you. "Don't know.".

He let out a deep breath, then he signed to you to jump by moving his hands behind your thighs. You jumped, immediately wrapping your arms and legs around Megumi.

He started to walk to his bathroom and once he entered the room he put you down on the counter.

"I want to sleep 'gumi, you said we were going to bed." you whined rubbing your eyes with your hands. "I know, but first you need to wash your face and take off your makeup.".

He opened the cabinet beside you, where you kept all your things so that you didn't have to bring them with you every time you stayed over at his apartment. He grabbed your make up remover and some cotton disks.

You closed your eyes for him, so that he could start removing everything you had on your face. He gently cleaned all your face, then he grabbed your cream and applied it to your face, trying to imitate the same movements you did every time he saw you apply it.

Once he was finished, he put everything back into the cabinets and tidied up the counter.

You still had your eyes closed and Megumi understood that you fell asleep again. He shook your legs gently and placed a gentle kiss on your forehead to wake you up, which fortunately worked.

"Megumi" You called for him, your eyes half closed. He hummed in response.

"Do you still have the ice cream we bought some days ago?" You mumbled, he raised one eyebrow "..yes".

"I want some ice cream." You said smiling, making the big doe eyes at which he couldn't say no. He sighed, then he proceeded to lift you up again to go to the kitchen.

He put you down on the kitchen counter, he opened the freezer and took your favorite flavour of ice cream. He handed it to you while he grabbed a spoon from the drawer.

Megumi passed you the spoon, leaning beside you on the counter. You took it, offering him a big smile.

You were struggling to open the ice cream, scrunching your face and using all the strength you had.

Megumi chuckled at you, taking everything from your hands. He opened the container effortlessly, then he took a spoonful of ice cream.

He positioned himself between your open legs, taking the spoon in front of your mouth. You ate the ice cream, smiling at the sweet taste of it.

"It's cold." You stated and Megumi looked at you unsurprised, "It's called ice cream for a reason..".

"Oh don't get so smart with me, I was just saying" You said to him. He hummed while he grabbed another spoonful of it.

You ate the ice cream in silence, Megumi continued feeding it to you, stealing some spoonfuls for himself. Once you were satisfied with the amount you ate, he put the ice cream back into the freezer and quickly washed the spoon to put it back in the drawer.

He came back to you and you hugged him, thanking him and asking if now you could go to bed. He nodded and lifted you once again to finally go to his bedroom.

He had his hands under your thighs, while you wrapped yourself around his frame.

Once he entered his bedroom, he gently put you on the bed, where you settled comfortably on your side of the bed waiting for Megumi to switch off the lights and finally go to sleep.

When he settled in the bed as well, you immediately hugged him, moving one of your legs over his hip.

"Thank you." you quietly mumbled, your cheek attached to his chest, "For the ice cream?".

"For taking care of me. Love you." you said, already dozing off to sleep. Megumi looked down at your frame, smiling softly as he felt the heat creeping on his neck and face.

"Always, love you too." He answered even if he was sure you couldn't hear because you were already sleeping. He kissed the top of your head, then he closed his eyes, going to sleep with a stupid smile on his face.

[creekfiend]

i don't have the same bonsai kitten experiences that you do but i did grow up in an environment that led me to being very repressed and emotionally illiterate in specific ways. i've tended to make self-deprecating jokes about my younger self's ignorance and inexperience and how they had to learn things at 19+ that i "should" have known all along, but this week i was discussing with a therapist the fact that despite a whole lot of shame and the fact i could barely admit to myself i was TRYING to break out of that net, *i tried anyway* and I did it anyway. i realised i spent a long time not giving younger me credit for that. i realised that I spend more time resenting them for not getting me further without acknowledging how much work they already did – and I realised I'm still doing that, getting mad that i need the therapy rather than acknowledging the fact that i took the step of seeking it out even amidst the fear and shame. i was so busy focusing on the mangled limbs of my kitten self, i didn't give them enough credit for getting out of the box in the first place.

i wanted to say first that your posts have helped me get to the point where I can recognise that – where I can acknowledge my younger self as a hurt thing and start to reach out to them, and recognise the work they did so that I became someone who is able to do that. thank you. but I also wanted to acknowledge YOUR bravery and strength in doing that for yourself, just in case the brainworms haven't let you appreciate that in yourself lately. even when you still feel box-shaped, it is such a big thing to not be in the box anymore and all the work you've done matters, even if some days you can only see how much is left to be done

so. yeah. from one disabled person who sometimes just wants to rage at the unfairness of it all to another: solidarity, and thanks, and big respect for the work you're doing in your own life as well as the knock-on impact it's having on randomers on the internet.

boy howdy I am really having a hard time emotionally the last few days and this message made me start crying like a baby. thank u. 😭

[cobblestone-butch]

jus saw ur post ab sculptor etho muse joel, ik u got forcibly ejected from the writers room but if i make another writers room will u write it /hj

hey tysm! I ended up writing a little something so it will be below <3 this is mostly just Cleo helping Etho realise what might be going on with his struggles to sculpt. I hope people like and mostly that anyone who knows anything about art would write for it too (I know nothing!)

"So, first things first! Why do you want to learn to pose armour stands, Etho? Have you got a specific project in mind?"

There's an awkward pause.

"I only ask so I can get a good idea of what to focus on. It's just good if we start our work with something you're already interested in, right?"

She's never seen Etho look so... Nervous. Learning can be a vulnerable thing, sure, but Etho has never been shy with questions and comments and the unknown the way some people are. It feels wrong to turn to insults, light as they may be, to ease the attention - they're at a complete loss on what to do other than let him work through whatever he's feeling.

"Nothing, there's nothing... Specific I had in mind. It's... I tried sculpting."

"Okay that's good. That's great! What did you like about sculpting?"

"I didn't like sculpting."

Cleo laughs, a mix of confusion and genuine amusement, "Alright! So why do you want to learn 'armorstandography' then?"

Etho is still looking down, picking what she now suspects to be dried clay or quartz from his clothes. His shoulders drop a little from their previously hunched state though, which is a good sign.

"I just figured that maybe it would be easier. N-not that what you do is easy, I mean, you're clearly very skilled, and that's why I've asked you-"

"Etho, slow down, it's okay. I am perfectly assured in what I do and how much effort it takes. But still, I appreciate it."

"I thought maybe something with color would be more, familiar? I like vibrant colors and how they go together, and sculpting out of quartz is so... Lifeless."

Cleo shakes her head, "I won't teach you, Etho."

Etho snaps his head upwards, looking for some sign that it's some dry British humor he's missed. Cleo's face is even more stony than his recent attempts at sculpting.

"I won't teach you", they repeat, "Not for that reason. Color won't inject life into what you make, Etho. I won't teach you something that isn't true."

"Uh huh..."

"And besides, I don't think I believe you. I bet your sculptures have plenty of life in them." Cleo sees a frown pull on Etho's features, "Go on, prove me wrong."

---

Etho puts his hand on the door leading to his storage area. It's a big enough space for art projects, and it's nice to hear items sort themselves as he works, frustrated as he's been with the outcome of his endeavours recently. Cleo reads his hesitance immediately, and knows that Etho won't find comfort in their reassuring words. Here, at the doorway, she pushes past him.

She's drawn to her own face first. Sat on a block is her own head, looking back at her. She sees her own soft features, big eyes and strong nose. A dozen other faces around the room, and she can just about identify them as their friends. There's one off to the side, hidden enough to not drawn attention but not hidden too much, as if he's given himself plausible deniability for doing it. Etho's problem is not that his sculptures look lifeless. Etho's problem is denial.

It takes Cleo seconds to spot and minutes to confirm - there's only one sculpture amongst the collection that properly resembles the person it's modelled after. Every other head or bust has been affected by it, flawed in different ways but for the exact same reason. They all look a bit too much like Joel. It's in the furrow of her brow, the fierceness of Scar's smile, the curl of Doc's hair. Their eyes are all bright, smiles meeting them in genuine warmth, and Cleo can see even with just quartz how skilled Etho is at what he does.

Cleo isn't sure how aware Etho is that he's making them all in Joel's image, so they opt for asking something less direct, "What do you think the problem is? With these sculptures?"

"They're all... Wrong. I just can't get anyone right, and I'm not exactly going for artistic liberty."

Cleo laughs kindly, "That's not exactly true, is it? I can see one that's particularly uncanny."

"Uncanny valley?" Etho makes the joke before she can, but it's not what she was pitching for.

She walks over to and stands behind the sculpture of Joel. "I like this one. I've definitely seen this face before I've died a few times."

Etho laughs, and it stops the ever-shifting of his feet and the picking at his hands. He runs a hand through his hair, letting it rest at his neck as he rubs at it in slight shame. "He's, ah, a vicious one, Joel. He does this little huff thing, and it sounds like a tiger- he's always in some kind of mood and it's always so big, he can't do anything calmly or slowly, you've seen how quickly he builds, and, I just thought what's the most 'Joel' face I can think of? I remembered how he looked building that TNT cannon..."

Cleo lets him talk. It's nice, after all the awkward, to see him talk to openly about all the thoughts that went into the Joel sculpture. She can almost see what he means when he says the other attempts are lifeless; the animation in his voice when he talks about Joel makes everything else pale in comparison. She doesn't think he realises.

"Do you know what a muse is?" They ask after Etho has run himself out of steam, or perhaps noticed a conspicuous lack of interjection from Cleo, a usually very active listener.

"You mean like an inspiration?"

"Yeah! Well, sort of. In Greek mythology, the Muses were goddesses, and their domains included art of all kinds. And we've sort of derived meaning from that, so plenty of artists say they have muses that inspire them. And it helps them make art even if it's not always about them."

"Uh huh. So you think that I need to find my muse?"

"I think you already have, Etho." She looks down at the head between them, and Etho follows her gaze. Joel's eyes look back at him, intense and alive and challenging. He averts his gaze, something complicated settling over him - what they shared was so long ago, in a time and place so far from here. To feel the pull of that, it feels cosmic and mythical in a way Etho naturally rejects.

It's like Cleo can see through him, always. "It doesn't have to be complicated. It can be as simple as knowing someone well enough to capture a second of their likeness. That's what a lot of my armour stands do, they're just snapshots in time. Maybe you should just talk to Joel."

"Oh, I can't do that."

"Why not?"

"He'll be insufferable about it."

Cleo actually snorts at that. "Fine then, don't talk to him. Just make more excuses to send him mail and wait for an extrovert to bring you to his base to talk, or whatever it is that you guys do."

"You're not far off, Cleo."

"Oh, I know. I have to hear all about it."

"What?! The next time I see Scar..."

---

Joel stares back into his own eyes. The head was left at the gate to his base, like something the mafia might do as a threat. There was a single sign next to it: Feel free to alter or remove - Etho. It's incredible, seeing his likeness through someone else's eyes. He didn't know his hair was so fluffy, his smile so sharp. He picks up the head with a grunt (Bloomin' heck, is this thing solid quartz?!) and moves it somewhere it can be seen, before pulling a book from the chest under his mailbox and penning his sculptor a message.

[rogerswifesblog]

Another lesson

[pt. 2 of keep you quiet, but you can read it as a one shot]

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Steve's gives you another lesson on being quiet...this time, Bucky helps.

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Steve Rogers  x reader x Bucky Barnes

(Sadly no Stucky in this one...maybe only a hint? Blink and you'll miss it)

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: barely any plot tbh, smut, 3some, p in v, unprotected sex, oral [ m & freceiving ], fingering, squirting, overstimulation, cum swallowing, cum eating, dp, Dom!steve, Dom!bucky, sub!reader

Tell me if I need to addd anything.

Btw I've never written a 3way so I've no idea how to do that. I hope you'll like it.

I literally put everything else aside to write this one lol

Keep in mind English is not my first language!

18+

Nervously you entered the elevator and pushed the button to Steve's floor. Would it really happen? Would you really have sex with Steve? Maybe he was just joking? Yet, it didn't really feel like a joke.

After leaving Steve and Bucky you went back to your room, where you've showered and changed. Even though your walls have been throbbing and clenching all the time, you haven't touched yourself. It...didn't feel like Steve would like that.

As soon as the elevatordoors opened, you walked to Steve's door. After knocking you could hear steps.

The door opened-but it wasn't Steve who opened them.

Surprised you looked up into Buckys beautiful blues. You could feel yourself blush, when you realised he was also shirtless. "Bucky-hi-what...I'll come back later", you mumbled, but Bucky only smirked teasingly and grabbed your top, pulling you into the room. Stumbling you accidentally leaned against Buckys naked stomach-were these abs real? There was no way-

"She can really be pretty quiet, huh?", said Bucky. "She can be, yeah." Only then did you realise Steve was just behind him-also shirtless and with his belt open. "What happened sweetheart? Where's did that bratty mouth go, huh?", Steve asked mockingly, pulling you against him. Your hands instantly slid to his naked skin.

Slowly you looked back to Bucky and then again to Steve. Bucky stepped a bit closer, putting his hands on you waist. You could see the question in their eyes.

Oh god, would you even survive two super soldier di-

Steve pulled you a bit closer against him, leaning to your lips. "Come on, sweetheart, where's that voice of yours", he mumbled. You couldn't stop yourself from grinning. Slowly you let your hands glide over Steve's pecks. You've never seen him backed from up close-same with Bucky. Immediately one of your hands found Buckys chest.

„Let's see if you old men can keep up", you mumbled cocky.

The next thing you knew, you were in Steve's bedroom, thrown on Steve's bed, with two super soldiers hovering over you. You had no idea who's hands where at your body, who's lips kissed your neck.

It felt amazing. Getting so much attention of two men-not only any men, Steve and Bucky.

You've always liked Steve and Bucky-well, besides the constant arguments. The two were pretty nice, funny and charming. Many agents wanted to get to know them better...you've heard some very detailed conversations. Very, very detailed...

You moaned quietly when a hand pressed on your clothed core. "Are you still wet, baby?", Steve whispered against your ear, while Bucky bit into your exposed collarbone, while he slowly pushed your shirt up.

"Yes, Steve, please...Bucky, please", you mumbled while grabbing Buckys hair and pulling him closer to your lips. He immediately understood and kissed you fiercely. His tongue found it's way into your mouth, while he grabbed your bra clothed breast under your shirt. A quiet moan escaped you and you pressed yourself towards their hands. Steve watched the two of you for a moment, before he started to pull your sweatpants down. They quickly Landed on the floor.

His face was close enough to your heat, he could smell you. How wet you were. It made his-already hard-dick twitch. Unintentionally he grind against the bed. Looking at your pretty panties he could see the wet spot of your arousal forming. "Fucking drenched..." He couldn't stop himself from pressing his lips against your clothed entrance and sucking on your clit. Immediately you moaned loudly into Buckys mouth.

The brunette looked down at you, before his attention was taken by Steve's head moving between your legs. Bucky pushed your shirt over your head and threw it to the floor, next to your sweatpants.

"So pretty...isn't she pretty, Steve?", Bucky mumbled against your neck, which made you lean your head back, to give Bucky more room. He kissed every inch of your skin. Your skin felt so soft against his lips. He wanted to taste all of you.

His left arm grabbed your bra in the middle and ripped it right off of your body.

A surprised gasped escaped your lips while your hands immediately tried to cover your backed breasts. You haven't expected something like this.

Steve lifted his head and watched, as Bucky put both of your hands over your head, teasing  your nipples into peaks with chilly metal fingers and soft lips.

Grinning Steve slowly let your panties slide down your legs. Seeing your glistening core, your puffy and pulsing clit, made him moan immediately. He couldn't stop thinking about your pussy, since you've left the common room a few hours before.

You grabbed Steve's hair when his tongue found your heat, licking over your folds to your clit. Your taste spread over his tongue, making him moan into your heat. He licked all of your juices up. Steve looked up from between your legs, only to meet your and Buckys gaze. "Steve, keep going...", you mumbled, pushing his head closer to your core.

Both men looked with raised eyebrows at you, then at each other.

They had a silent conversation, which made you feel unsure, but also very aroused. More then you already were.

"Let's see how many times she can cum before she loses her voice, what do you think about that, Steve?", Bucky asked, still twirling your nipple, like it was his Stress-toy. Steve let one of his fingers slide slowly into your entrance, making you whimper. "Yeah, that's a great idea, Buck. We should do that", Steve answered, licking over your clit again. They had this conversation, like you weren't even there. Like you were a toy. And this thought made you clench around Steve's fingers. "She seems to like this idea." Steve roughly pushed a second finger into your tight hole, which made you mewl breathlessly.

Watching Steve eating you out got Bucky even harder-his pants felt way too tight. Quickly he opened them and let them slid down his legs. You could see the head of his dick sticking out of his boxershorts. God you could already tell he was also big. Huge even.

You needed to feel both of them.

You wanted both of them to fuck you, till you couldnt walk or think for the next few days.

Steve's fingers stroked right over your g-spot, making you see stars. He licks around his fingers, before licking back to your clit and sucking on it-this gave you the rest.

With a silent moan you arched your back, pressing yourself into Steve's and Buckys lips.  Bucky looked up for a moment to watch your face. You grabbed his hair and pulled him closer, so you could kiss him again. He let his tongue explode your mouth, but not for long, because he wanted to watch Steve still eating you out.

Steve didn't stop liking and thrusting into your cunt, not even for a moment-your legs started to tremble slightly, while the knot in your abdomen started to build up again. It felt so intense. It was too much-and yet you couldn't get enough. Buckys cold metal finger found your nipple again, pinching it lightly-. Your body tenses and you come with a hot rush of fluid that soaks you both. Your juices leak out of you, drenching Steve's face and the sheets you were laying on. Both men moaned seeing this.

Steve came up again and pressed his lips hungry to yours. He could come right now untouched, alone because of how your clenched around your fingers.

You could taste yourself on his lips-his tongue pushing the taste deeper into your mouth. You couldn't stop yourself from moaning.

After Steve pulled away, you could feel him taking his fingers out of your drenched hole, which made you feel empty. "Open, sweetheart", you opened your mouth and Steve pushed his fingers in. Slurping you started to lick around his fingers, treating them like you did with his dick a few hours ago. Steve felt his dick twitch against your leg, while Bucky gripped his own to relieve himself at least a bit. It didn't really help. He wanted to feel you so bad...

"So, Steve, do you want to fuck her first or should I?", Bucky started talking, without looking at you. It made you squirm. Steve chuckled darkly and looked down at you. „I've already felt her mouth first, so it's only fair if I let you fuck her first", Steve moved from his position between your legs.

You grabbed Steve's pants and tried to pushed them down, same with buckys. „too many clothes...", you mumbled. Both men chuckled. Their pants hit the floor before you could even blink.

Bucky moaned when he looked down at your drenched pussy. He but his bottom lip, while, he let his tip rub between your folds, coating him with wetness. "I'm gonna fucking split you apart, sweetheart", he grinned, slowly pushing the tip in. You could already feel the stretch, which made you whimper. It felt so, so good.

Bucky felt the same. He couldn't think straight with the warmth around him. Your wet heat was sucking him right in. "You gonna finally fuck me or should I bring my toy-", before you could finish your sassy remark, Bucky forced his whole length inside you, immediately starting pounding hard into you, hitting your sweet spot every time. You cried out in pleasure, grabbing Steve's arm tightly. Bucky only chuckled.

"What? Nothing more to say?", Bucky slid out for a second, to turn you around so faced Steve, who was leaning against the headboard, stroking his dick slowly. Grinning he looked at your already open mouth.

"Someone's eager to having a dick in your holes", Steve grabbed your hair and let his tip slide along your sticked out tongue. His taste made you moan, while Bucky pushed once again into your warmth. He started pounding into you, hard and fast. In this Position he felt even bigger-god, he was really splitting you in half. His movements pushed you forward, pushing Steve's dick deep into your mouth. His hand gripped your hair and pushed even further down, past your gag reflex.

You knew your whole body would be sore after today-especially your jaw and pussy. Steve thrusted shallow into your mouth, before pulling you back. "You wanna say something, sweetheart? Any sassy remarks left?", before you could answer he pushed his dick back into your mouth, silencing anything you wanted to say-because you'd have a sassy remark ready, he just  knew it. He knew you.

"That's much better. I only want to hear you choke on my cock-" "fuck, she likes that", interrupted Bucky, when he felt you squeeze around him. Steve chuckled and started thrusting into your mouth, which made you gag every time he hit the back of your throat.

Bucky put his metal fingers on your clit and started rubbing your bud. Immediately your eyes rolled back. "God, she's so close-I can feel her chocking my cock", Bucky groaned, increasing his speed. It's all your needed for the knot into your abdomen to explode. Moaning around Steve's dick you felt your juices leak around Bucky. It only made him thrust into your harder. "Oh fuck, I’m gonna cum-gonna fill this tight cunt”, Bucky mumbled.

Steve pulled you back from his cock, grinning at your ravening state. Your pupils were blown wide and teary, your lips were puffy, swollen from his cock.

“You hear that, sweetheart? Buckys gonna pump you full of his cum”, he grinned. You nodded immediately, but your gaze fell back to his cock. Opening your mouth Steve understood you wanted his back into your mouth, which made him grin even more. He immediately pushed your head back down.

Buckys thrusts started to become more irregular, so you knew he was close, still hitting your abused G-spot with every movement. You’ve never had this much sex at once-this many orgasms. Everything felt so…you felt on fire. Everything in you felt overstimulated.

With a last deep thrust Bucky came deep in you. You could feel his hardness throb in you, shooting his big load in you. Suddenly you felt yourself come again, which made you moan breathlessly around Steve’s tip. He immediately pulled your head up, grabbing his dick with the other hand to hold back his own orgasm.

Bucky slowly pulled out, watching his cum dripping out of your throbbing hole. “So pretty…so full”, he mumbled, while spreading your folds with his fingers and watching more cum leaking out of you. He couldn’t help himself from pushing it back inside.

Feeling his fingers press into your hole made you cry out softly. Your whole body was shaking, your legs, your arms-yet you looked back at Steve’s cock, slowly opening your mouth again.

Steve only shook his head and slowly pulled you onto his lap, while Bucky laid beside the two of you. A tired, yet satisfied grin formed on his face and he watched Steve guiding his dick in your cum filled hole. The added wetness made him groan into your neck, while you let your head fall against his shoulder. Your hole was throbbing around him.

“I think we managed to break that sassy mouth”, said Bucky, stroking over your sweat covered back. Chuckling Steve slowly started pounding into you, making you sob into his neck quietly. It felt so good…but it was so much…yet you didn’t want for it to stop.

Slowly Buckys hand slid down to your clit, rubbing it, making you whine against Steve’s neck. You grabbed Steve’s hair and shoulder, holding yourself up and trying to ride him-but you hadn’t much energy left, so Steve started thrusting into you.

Suddenly another g-spot orgasm sweeps violently over you, from the drag of Steve’s cock over your sweet spot and Bucky’s fingers.

“Oh fuck, you’re squeezing me to death, sweetie. Gonna pump you full with my cum”, he groaned, burring himself deep into your pussy. You feel his cock pulsing inside of you, filling you with come.

The two of you stayed like that for a moment, before slowly pulling out of you. The sudden emptiness made you whimper. Steve slowly laid you between them. Both men wrapping their arms around you.

For a while none of you said anything. The three of you just enjoyed the bliss after your orgasms.

You were exhausted.

“Everything alright?”, Steve asked quietly, stroking over your hair. He looked to Bucky for a moment. The brunette nodded slowly, shifting so he laid on his side. He gently stroked along your back. To answer Steve’s question, you mumbled a quite ‘yes’ and buried your face into Steve’s pillow. It smelled nice. Like Steve.

A small smile spread over your lips, while you slowly turned onto your side. “'m Feelin’ awesome…”, you mumbled, tucking your face into Steve’s neck.

You grabbed Buckys arm, that was laying lazily around your waist and pulled him against your back. Slowly you felt yourself getting tired. Steve gave you a gentle kiss on your forehead, smiling at Bucky for a moment. Bucky smiled back at Steve and gave you then a kiss on your shoulder.

“I guess you old men still have it in you..”, you grinned against Steve’s skin. Both men looked with raised eyebrows at you.

“Still haven’t learned your lesson?”

That’s it! I really hope you enjoyed reading! Please let me know:)

Don’t forget to like, comment and reblog!

Feedback?

Tags: @buckymyhips @mel-valerio @mishkatelwarriorgoddess

[nostalgia-tblr]

My Next Attempt At Long Fic (by which I mean more than 10000 words and it has chapters) Should Be...

Poll and the (actually quite long) gist of each option below le cut:

The Sylki Con Artists AU

This one I have a wee bit written of already but I go back and forth on this one because it's Alternative Universe - Modern Setting and I feel like there's already a lot of those (which I also complain about a lot), and I have to justify it to myself as an experiment in whether I can do a Sylki Modern AU that doesn't just end up as "two people called Loki and Sylvie do normal stuff together". That's why they are con artists in this! Because 1) MISCHIEF (or crime, or whatever) and 2) if they have the same 'job' for similar reasons and I go on about them being similar a lot then that's maybe as close as reality can get to selfcest. (The selfcest is not just a feature of sylki, I feel it is THE feature and to admit to being Bad At Shipping (again) I'm just not that interested in it if they're different people who aren't even aliens. The same alien.) (You can tell me they are gods all you want but I've seen enough Doctor Who to know that must be A LIE so I reject it as such.)

The plot is that they meet in a bar one night and shag (obviously!) and then the reader discovers that Loki is trying to buy a painting from an old woman (planning on ripping off both her and his own buyer) and Sylvie is an artist who is selling a forged painting to some posh twat on the internet who she knows is trying to rip off her fake old lady persona on the deal but she's selling him a fake painting anyway so at least he deserves to be conned. They meet up a few times before finally realising that they are in fact conning each other under fake names on the internet, and then I have to try and fix it when they inevitably get mad at each other because of it. Also, Thor works in a shop because the brodinsons are Downwardly Mobile (dad spent all their inheritance, oh no!) Plotwise Loki is going to actually need Sylvie's painting for reasons I have not yet entirely worked out so one way or another they will have to eventually forgive each other for being con artists as they themselves are and for having attempted to con each other.

Ideally I will be able to make this one funny in some way, as I think the concept can get absurd enough to make a rom-com out of it.

2. The Jotun Heat Fic (also sylki)

I was into this one for about a day and now I have second thoughts because I am not sure I care enough about Frost Giant Biology to have to write an entire fic about it. It would continue my tradition (I did it once, that's enough for it to be a tradition) of turning a tiny ficlet into a much longer thing. This one: The Opposite of Heat, in which Loki and Sylvie go into whatever the Jotun equivalent of the fandom fave 'mating cycles/in heat' trope is, having never done so before because (see if you can guess...) they've never previously spent enough time around another Jotun for the hormones to kick in properly. They have no idea this can happen, and what starts out as Fun Porno-Fic Times soon gets a bit worrying and then I suppose they have to Investigate and that's the bit I fear might end up boring me.

This is set in an AU where S2!Loki did not instantly demand that Sylvie help him with his cop friends' problems and instead just went to live in Oklahoma with her, so the other/'real' plot is them getting used to living together and the weird-but-sexy medical issue bringing them into conflict because of course the first place Loki wants to go for help is the TVA (this not unreasonable of him, as they have a lot of info in their archives and he has no other friends anyway), which Sylvie is not keen on as she would rather just avoid them for the rest of forever. Gosh, I hope nobody goes to the TVA for help behind anyone else's back!

I need a way to make this one stay interesting once it gets to the Find Out What Is Happening part and also it needs to not just immediately end with a sensible solution like just going to Jotunheim and asking someone there for a talk about the frost-birds and the frost-bees.

Also I think they should fuck in that McDonalds. Just because.

3. Jotunheim Rejects The Guy Who Cannot Possibly Be Its Rightful King, Because I'm Annoying Like That AU (not thorki)

Speaking of going to Jotunheim, you know all those fics where Loki goes to be the Rightful King Of Frostland, as Odin apparently planned all along? That but it doesn't work, because I am not at all convinced he can have been Laufey's heir (who the fuck infanticides their only male heir?!) and even if he was well it'd just look awful, wouldn't it? Crusty Old Odin, worst friend to Jotunheim for several years running, sends back your kingdom's heir having raised him as one of his own family. (I hope at least one of you is thinking "US-Backed Puppet Ruler Who Will Do Whatever The CIA Tells Them To" because I did too! Ooh, geopolitical barely-subtext!)

The problem with this one for me is it requires a fairly large cast of Original Jotun Characters, and I still fear writing OCs because of the constant 'Mary-Sue' complaints in my fannish youth. Also I would Controversially (LOL not really) make some of them women, including Angrboda the ambitious would-be consort and Laufey's tragically spurned lover who on finding out that her long-dead son is not dead makes the most of it by insisting everyone call her 'My Lady, the King's Mother' (yes, I stole that from History but I do that sort of thing now, for the LOLs). So I have a bit of an idea what happens in this one, though I'd need to think of more political type plot stuff and also I just finished writing a multichapter fic that involved the Jotun succession so maybe I'd be overdoing it if I did this one now as well.

The other problem is Jotuns are too fucking tall. I mean really. This doesn't seem to bother anyone else but they are Too Fucking Tall to interact with the shorter characters, to the point that it just seems accidentally comedic to me. Just imagine the totally-not-a-puppet king of Jotunheim sitting on a massive throne, swinging his wee legs in the air. And I don't know how to work around that other than just saying "they are Less Fucking Tall in this fic" and I don't know if that would just annoy people. Also it does feel a bit incendiary to go against the general fandom insistence that Loki Is Totally The Rightful King Of Jotunheim. Though I suppose in this he is, it's just that he attempts to become so in the sort of circumstances that make everyone start saying things like "are we really that keen on our monarchy?" or at least "surely there's a cousin or an uncle we could give the crown to instead? yeah, even a woman would do. no, she doesn't have to be alive if there are only dead ones available."

(It was a mistake to let me read books about the Wars of the Roses, wasn't it?)

Oh and this isn't a thorki fic, but Thor is going to go to Jotunheim with his bro to help him settle in and also he will be going back to rescue him from it at the end. Bros before snows!!!!

[hils79]

Hils Watches Lovely Runner - Ep 1

Time to start a new drama and this is another one I found via gifs on @sarah-yyy's blog, which is usually a good sign of quality :D

I love starting a new drama. Is this going to ruin my life (positive) or ruin my life (negative). Only time will tell.

Wow this is the most awkward radio call ever. I have no idea how radio shows in Korea work but surely they'd do some sort of screening before having an idol call a random woman who can't walk and offering her running shoes as a prize. I don't blame her at all for being pissed off.

Also, this wasn't what I was expecting from the synopsis. I thought she was the sunshine one and he was the angsty one. Well, we'll see what happens I guess.

Oh no he's a sweetheart and I'm crying already. This does not bode well for the rest of the drama

Looks like my bedroom 😅

I realise that as someone who is also fannish I probably have a skewed view of things but I was freaking out on her behalf when I found it this belonged to her idol and people kept playing with it.

Holy shit that's nearly £2k no wonder she was freaking out

Oh, now he's the tired and angsty one. So I'm guessing since he saved her when she was ready to end it all now she's going to save him. I really feel like I've seen him in something before but there's nothing I've seen on his MDL page. Maybe it's just because he actually looks like an idol.

Oh no she's me

I love her

So the boy she had a crush on when she was in school got kicked out for fighting after her accident. I smell a love triangle...

Unrealistic because she was running late and the merch hasn't already sold out

Um...no?

Ah, so when she said she was late she meant fannish late not actual late. But come on, if that company doesn't respect your free time before you've even started working for them they def won't if you get an internship with them

So they don't value her time and they don't work in an accessible building. Fuck them, honestly.

Admittedly I've never been to a kpop concert but that can't be a thing, surely. We got stuck in the snow on the way to a hockey game once and no one cared that we showed up halfway through the game

Oh no and she lost her ticket. I mean that's on her I would be checking for it every 30 seconds, but then I have anxiety 😅 I really need to stop expecting realisim from a time travel romance drama.

Aww look she's having a good time even though she couldn't get in to see him. He made her into the sunshine one and now she's doing to do the same for him.

I wasn't expecting them to meet until after the time travel thing. But here he is to save her again. He's a good boy.

Is it going to turn out he saved her back then too. Ooh, or was it the other guy that she had a crush on. I'm sure this will turn out to be significant

Me when Seonghwa wears literally anything

I have definitely never done this *cough*

Do people just not help each other in this drama? The person who knocked her phone out of her hand and smashed it didn't even stop, and the person who crashed into her and made her lose her watch apparently is cool with letting a paralysed woman crawl around on the ground trying to get it back.

Well, shit. A significant time of death though. Right at the start of a new year. I'm sure this is magical somehow.

Wibbly wobbly timey wimey

Wait, why has she suddenly got joggers on under her skirt? Those weren't there when she ran out of the classroom to find him

Okay, the irony is not lost on me that in 2008 he was training to be on the olympic swim team and in 2022 he drowned in a pool. But also this poor kid getting glomped by a random girl he doesn't know in front of everyone

Gotta love a romance that starts with a confession the first time they meet. I mean I know it's not their first meeting for her but it is for him

Haha! She mean let's both not cross the bridge into the underworld and stay alive. He thinks this random girl wants to move in with him.

Ooh so she was talking about his depression in the future and he thought she was talking about his shoulder injury that he's hiding from everyone. This has layers! I like it!

You can tell it's the past because there's a DVD rental store

I love dramas with emotionally significant umbrellas (see also Tale of the Nine-Tailed

[steamberrystudio]

26/08/2024 Devlog

Hallo everyone!  Tumblr devlog time. Sorry I missed the last one. Sometimes I just miss the notification when it pops up. Sometimes I remember on the off week but don't want to throw off the schedule and end up just waiting for the next one to roll around.

Summary:

Finished Yren's Play test

Finished Raif's Play test

Finished Noel's Play test

Started Kav's Play test

Finally got the colour slider in the game with help from Windchimes

New music room (slightly redesigned)

New gallery screen

Bonus scene page

Wrote the rest of the ch1 bonus scenes

Got the affinity indicators coded

Multiple new BGs

Finished Yren's Ch 2 CG

Started Noel's Ch 2 CG

Worked on coding sprite expressions

Set affinity scoring up through Ch 5

Worked on the premium and public game guides

Writing/Playtesting:

I have been working on my own play test of the game which is essentially another round of reading and editing. Last time I said the script was 616,000 words. Well it's now 621,000 words. 

I'm not just cramming in filler. A lot of that is additional choice options. Sometimes I would find places where you went a really long time without choices. Others I would encounter a choice menu that had 3 options when it needed 5 or 6 options (one for each LI).

Adding menus and choice options can increase your word count pretty rapidly so that is where most of the increase has happened.

I'm also fixing a lot of small continuity issues. This usually results in a small variation or callback being added into the script for clarity or to correct a seeming contradiction. For instance, at one point I realised that I  needed an additional variation in Ch 5 to account for a game state that wasn't accounted for in the existing options. And I had to do it for all 6 LIs. Which meant that a 200 word variation became a 1200 word addition to the word count.

So yeah, those things add up fast when you have 6 LIs.

I am continuing to work on this. And I will do one full play test of everyone's "best" ending before beta testers touch it.

I also have decided to add in "bonus scenes" these will basically unlock at the end of some chapters. Some of these will be POV scenes and some will be other scenes and content told from the MC's point of view. These are just extra scenes that I think help flesh out the characters and relationships but really didn't fit into the main story because you just...can't fit everything in the main story. I will be writing any bonus content as I work on the episodes and as I get ideas for them.

I don't have any specific rules I'm going to hold myself to for bonus content. They're just fun extras. They may be quite short in some cases. The ones for Chapter 1 are 1400 or so words.

Art:

Art wise, I've received new BGs - they're about 90% done at this point.

I also completed Yren's CG and started on Noel's. Raif's is already done, Kav doesn't get one for Ch 2.

So yeah. Getting those completed bit by bit.

Other Stuff:

Lots of other stuff. 

We managed to get the colour slider set up for Wil's sprite (we being me and my friend from Windchimes games). This required re-colouring the original sprite and original CG for Wil in greyscale and then coding in everything necessary to have Wil colourised by Ren'py rather than by  me.

As you can see from this Wil's hair and eyes are not colourised. Wil's eyes being silver/grey are just kind of a plot element and is related to their species. And while I contemplated having Wil's hair be on a slider too the reality is that the hair styles were not designed to be colourised in this way and some of them don't look as good. Particularly the curly hair which doesn't have strong outlines or, really the same type of shading to give it depth. Some colours looked quite good on it and others looked quite bad.

I tried redrawing that hair half a dozen times to see if I could make it look better while retaining the same overall look and feel and it just was not possible. I could have redone the hair but frankly. I didn't want to. And some of the other styles didn't look *amazing* recoloured. They were just okay.

I think if I want to revisit the slider in the future then I just need to approach the art with that in mind versus trying to add it to art not designed for it.

But in any case, Wil having only black/silver options was also originally with intent so I don't mind keeping with that set up.

In terms of other features that are finally in game we have affinity indicators, a newly designed music room, the bonus scene page, the gallery screen and things like that.

I did the affinity scoring up through Chapter 5 which is when the route gets locked in. That was primarily so I could test that section properly. But yeah. That's done.

And I've been working on coding sprite expressions. If you have been following me for a while you know that sprite expressions are an *ordeal* for me.

I have a lot of expressions coded in which means I tend to change the expression every 1-4 lines - especially for the main character. Gilded Shadows had about 6500 expression changes per route. Including the common route, that's about 60,000 expression changes coded manually. Which is a lot.

About half of those probably...were Morgan. She is on screen more than anyone else, of course. All the narration is her internal dialogue. She is on screen for it and her expressions are changing based on what she's thinking.

WSC is very much the same.

So the expressions are a lot.

I got Wil's expressions completed through Chapter 2. This chapter is about 50,000 words and of course I've been working on a ton of other things so I've only dedicated an hour or two a day to work on expressions. It's very tedious. It's also impossible to not edit as you go because you have to read the script line by line to decide what expressions people are using. Inevitably you see typos and stuff that you fix as you do expressions.

So it's just kind of a time sink that isn't *difficult* but does tend to take some time.

Upcoming Weeks:

My huge checklist has become smaller and smaller over the last few weeks.

The main things now are...CG creation, flowchart set up, coding expressions and getting my play test done. 

Those are kind of the things that have to get done before Episode 1 can go to beta testers on Patreon.

There are always features and elements I consider big milestones when they get ticked off the main list. The colourised sprite was one of the remaining "big ones" - the flowcharts are another.

Anyway, that is all for this update. I will hopefully see you all again in *two weeks* this time.

(I swear I need a less easy-to-miss reminder). LoL

[sebsxphia]

One of my friends was telling me how her brother "got married" in kindergarten, and how everyone, even the teachers and nannies were in on it, one of them playing the part of the priest and "officiating it". They even got "divorced" at some point. Anyways, this got me thinking. (And I arrived at this very, very cheesy, very, very long though...)

What if you and Jake "married" in kindergarten, but never "divorced"? Then you continued on being best friends and having a crush on each other, making your relationship official at the beginning of high school and staying together. You lose your virginity to each other on your eighteenth birthday. After a while, you start thinking that Jake is going to propose. There are so many times when you think this may be it, but he never gets on one knee. Each year though, on the same day, that is not the anniversary of you two officially getting together, he takes you out to a fancy dinner and makes love to you so thoroughly, you can feel him throughout the next day. Unless he is on a deployment, he always manages to have that day off. Something he isn't always able to do with your actual anniversary...

Following another one of those special dates that you think is gonna end up in proposal but doesn't, you can't help but overthink. Maybe he doesn't propose because he doesn't want to commit to you that much, maybe things aren't as good between you as you thought and he reassures you to be, maybe you made a mistake, said something that made him either not want to marry you or sound like you don't want to marry him and oh no, what if he thinks you don't love him enough to say yes...

And so on, the thoughts spiral. Jake notices that you are stuck in your head on the way home. Once you get into your livingroom, he catches your arm and pulls you into his embrace before you could sit on the couch. He starts swaying you a little, getting you to giggle.

"What was going on in that pretty little head of yours?" he asks.

"You don't want to marry me, do you?" you can't help it, the question comes tumbling out.

"I already did Sweetheart" he says gently, a little teasing present in his voice, moving a strand of hair out of your face.

After a moment, you remember your wedding in kindergarten. Jake whispers the date of it to you, and you realise that's the same day as today.

You can feel tears gather in your eyes, the fact he remembered and made this day so special for so many years just make you realise how much you mean to him and how much he loves you. You kiss him, filled with so much passion. When he pulls away, you keep your eyes closed for a moment longer. When you open them, you see him down on one knee, holding up an open ring box with the ring of your dreams in it.

"Darlin' we've been together for ten years, married for twenty" you chuckle at that through your tears "and I've been in love with you my entire life. Will you re-marry me?"

You kiss him well, before chanting yes all the way to your bedroom.

-💚

"Darlin' we've been together for ten years, married for twenty" you chuckle at that through your tears "and I've been in love with you my entire life. Will you re-marry me?"

NO BECAUSE HE WOULDDDD, MY BELOVED ANON! HE WOULD!

i just absolutely adore how you write jake and how you capture this side of complete and utter love and admiration that he has for you 🥹 he would never forget anything in your relationship, regardless of how long you’ve been together. but after all this time, it definitely makes it more special to you both. thank you so much for this incredibly sweet thought my beloved anon! 💌

[kimbappykidding]

Imagine being in a fake relationship with Exo's Sehun...but falling for the one and only Park Jihyo

You and Sehun had been best friends for years. You went to the same school and were thrilled that each of you debuted. You both came out to each other as bisexual at 16 and bonded so much over being closeted idols. So much so, your Red Velvet members and Sehun's Exo ones all thought you were dating until you came out to them too. Your members were all so supportive and things were good until Sehun nearly got outed. There were rumours Sehun and another male idol were more than friends and the story was going to be published. Although they had no proof, SM was panicked and Sehun was told to find a solution. When Sehun explained the situation you volunteered to help as his fake girlfriend. You'd be each other's beards and sure you'd both get hate and abuse for "dating" but Sehun wouldn't receive a torrent of homophobic abuse and potentially lose his job so you were happy to help. So SM hurried to take couplex photos of you in staged situations, "leaked" them to a newspaper and your story came out the day before Sehun's fake boyfriend story making it seem like blatant lies. Your story got a lot of attention but SM were supportive and protected you. You didn't read the hate comments and after a few months they they died down.

So things began to stabilise, and then you met the most powerful woman on the planet. Park Jihyo.

To be fair you already knew Jihyo. You were naturally intuned to powerful women in the industry and were a Twice fan of course. So you'd admired Jihyo for some time and then one day your most mischievous members Nayeon and Yeri started talking and realised you two would be perfect together. So they tested the waters with both of you and started setting you up. Of course, Jihyo was confused at first, despite you and Sehun never officially confirming the rumours there had been lots of photos of the two of you on what looked like dates and everyone in the industry knew you were close. However, Yeri assured her you were into girls without giving too much away about your and Sehun's arrangement and Jihyo agreed to a date. She supposed the photos could've been old and since you had good taste (liking her and Sehun) she agreed to the date.

The second Jihyo walked through the door you knew you were in trouble because she was just so your type!

She walked in with her gorgeous jet-black hair straightened and hanging past her shoulders. Her bangs were expertly styled and her makeup looked impeccable. She was in a gorgeous black top and caramel skirt combo making her tanned skin look like it was glowing. She was stunning and you were glad the restaurant was big so you could compose yourself a little before she got to you. "Y/n" she smiled showing off her gorgeous teeth and you rushed to get to your feet "Jihyo hey, it's so nice to see you" you smiled giving her a hug. "You too!" she smiled and you realised her smile was also supermodel-worthy before recalling this was a date and you were here to impress. "Let me get your chair" you said and pulled it out for her. Jihyo looked surprised but happily accepted, seeming pleased with your chivalrous act.

"I've got to say I'm very excited" Jihyo said making you beam. "Are you now?" you asked and she nodded "yes because I have no idea what to expect, I had zero clue you were into girls". You nodded "yeah I'm bisexual and have admired you for a while so when Yeri told me you were also bi I was very happy". Jihyo smiled "it's nice to meet another member of the community, I think there's more of us than we realise". "Oh totally!" you cried "at least 1 in 6 of the population is gay so that's a ton of us idols". Jihyo nodded "yeah statistically there's a lot of us". You nodded "you look beautiful tonight by the way, you always look phenomenal but this...I can't help but feel I've been treated". Jihyo smiled "I did try and put some special effort in just for you" she winked "you also look stunning" she said briefly scanning your body "that red colour on you is delicious". You smiled "thank you, I also tried to play to my strengths tonight" and Jiyho smiled "for little old me?". "There's nothing little or old but yes for you" you replied and then the waiter came, breaking up your flirting.

Your date passed super quickly in a flirty fun blur and after that, you were hooked. You got home from your date literally bouncing and your members made you sit down and tell them everything. They were all ecstatic and as you and Jihyo continued seeing each other and things just started getting better and better they couldn't be happier. However, Irene was the smartest of all of you and came up with a good question, when were you going to tell her about Sehun?

So far you'd managed to avoid talking about him too much. You'd mentioned him in passing a few times, explaining trips you'd taken together etc but never discussed your unofficial partnership. You knew from the start you weren't going to tell Jihyo on the first date, you had to protect Sehun and make sure you could trust Jihyo but now you knew you could and you didn't want things to get awkward. Things started getting more serious between you two, you'd been casually seeing each other for 2 months but wanted to take the next step and become official, so you spoke to Sehun and he agreed you could tell her.

You thought Jihyo knew suspected you were going to ask her to be your girlfriend when you suggested going for a meal in her favourite restaurant as your treat...and she did! The second she saw you'd hired the nice fancy private room she knew something was going to happen. You could tell Jihyo knew from the sexy glances she was sending you and how she kept finding any excuse to grab your hand or brush your leg. You loved how she was clearly as into you as you were with her and after mains decided to explain yourself.

After you made Jihyo laugh you smiled "I love your laugh and so many things about you...you make me so happy Jihyo". She smiled her gorgeous smile and rested her chin on her hand "really?". "Yes!" you said and she laughed again. "It's made me start thinking about us and where I can see this going and honestly there's no worries or hesitation from me. I really like you". Jihyo smiled and took your hand "I like you too Y/n...so hurry up and ask me to be your girlfriend". You laughed, in adoration of her boldness and then took a breath.

"I would of course love nothing more than for you to be my girlfriend, but there are some things I want to tell you before you agree to anything". You saw Jihyo sit up taller, bracing herself. She wasn't expecting this and you practically see herself mentally calming herself as she nodded "okay tell me". "So you know that rumour about Sehun and me dating?" you asked. Jihyo went pale "yeah?" she asked nervously. "Well it's not true" you said and Jihyo let out a breath of relief "of thank god because I really thought you were going to say you were married to him or something". You laughed "hah no! So Sehun and I aren't together and don't like each other that way but we did create the rumour on purpose". "Wait what?" Jihyo asked "you made everyone think you were dating...what for? Money? Publicity?". "No nothing like that" you said "see the thing is, Sehun is also bisexual and the week before our relationship was "leaked" the press was going to run an article outing Sehun". Jihyo's jaw dropped "what! Without his permission? That's awful". You nodded "I know right! I couldn't let that happen. Sehun's my best friend and we've known each other since we were kids, he was the first person I ever came out to" you said smiling "so we came up with a solution. We out our fake relationship first and then the newspaper won't be able to run their story without looking like idiots". Jihyo nodded "I totally get that and I think it's really brave you did that for Sehun". You shrugged "he'd do the same for me and like I said, I couldn't let my friend be treated that way. So that's what's going on with us and I wanted you to be aware of it. Neither of us has confirmed it but we do let SM take photos of us together occasionally and have them leaked to keep the rumour credible and protect us both" you explained "so I guess what I'm asking is, are you okay with dating me and the rest of the world thinking I'm with Sehun? Because I won't tell people I'm dating him but I also won't deny it".

Jihyo was quiet for a few seconds before smiling. "Y/n of course it's okay" she smiled "we can't exactly acknowledge our relationship to the Korean public so it's not like it's stopping us. All you're doing is protecting your friend and I still get to call you my girlfriend? Sounds like a great deal to me".

Jihyo calling you her girlfriend made you feel insanely happy and you grinned "so you would like to make this official? To be my girlfriend?". Jihyo nodded "I would" and you smiled "good because I really want to be yours" and kissed her.

From that moment on you were in a committed loving relationship with Jihyo! You loved calling Jihyo your girlfriend and used every opportunity to say it. Jihyo found it so cute and loved how right this felt. You of course had to be careful and couldn't tell all your friends but Jihyo still felt special with you and the privacy was actually quite nice. She'd told her members and all of your members knew so the Red Velvet members would shoot her smiles and smug looks which made her feel seen. You'd come over to the Twice house and spend time with her with her members so she got to act like a couple with you around some of her friends which was nice.

She'd met a few of your friends and knew you were close to Exo of course. You bumped into them on a date night and Sehun came right over to you taking Jihyo by surprise a little. He nodded to her but his eyes were fixed on you and he wasted no time teasing you. He only stayed for about 5 minutes but Jihyo was still shocked. She had no idea the two of you were this close, for him to think nothing of interrupting your date and pulling a chair up to your table and it began to make her suspicious.

She'd spoken to her members about your agreement and then thought it was innocent and actually a pretty nice thing for you to do, which Jihyo agreed with. It was just, sometimes she'd see a headline of you and Sehun at a restaurant together or Sehun with his head on your shoulder and she'd get jealous. She knew it wasn't real but everyone else didn't know that and had just assumed you were together. It was considered a fact now and it bothered her to hear people talking about you as Sehun's girlfriend.

She once heard Balckpink's Jennie mention your relationship to Nayeon and she commented on how cute you and Sehun were. Nayeon froze looking to Jihyo who was similarly startled and Jennie laughed. "Oh come on we all know they're dating. We don't have to pretend they're not. I don't know why they don't just come out and say it". "Maybe they're genuinely not dating?" Nayeon tried "they could just be friends" but Jennie laughed "please! Two insanely hot people with amazing chemistry who spend tons of time together? They've got to at least tried it right?". Afterwards, Nayeon told Jihyo she had nothing to worry about but Jennie's words did stick in her head and caused some doubts because surely she was right? You must've both considered it before.

Jihyo felt like she could ask you any question so she asked you if you'd ever thought about Sehun in that way. You frowned before nodding "kinda, I did wonder if I could like Sehun like that" you admitted and Jihyo's eyes widened until you finished "for like 5 seconds. I think sometimes when you've known someone for so long it's difficult to change your view of them" you explained. "I hear so many female idols calling Sehun sexy and I get he is conventionally attractive and tall but he'll always just be that skinny teenager who ate so much peanut butter he threw up in my mom's car on the way back from a theme park" you said and Jihyo burst out laughing. She realised she had nothing to worry about...at least from you.

Jihyo believed you utterly, she could tell you were a genuine person and trusted you wouldn't lie to her. Plus you didn't have to tell her this, you could've kept quiet about your agreement with Sehun and she'd have been none the wiser. The fact you'd come forward and wanted her to know everything before she got into a relationship made her trust you even more but she didn't trust Sehun because she didn't even know him! You were both bisexual so there was a possibility he was into you and Jihyo was biased but she couldn't see how anyone could spend lots of time with you and not want to make it more. She figured Sehun might like you but could tell you didn't like him back. Maybe this rumour was working for him more than you thought. Jihyo went home and searched through those articles of the two of you and thought he looked far too happy to be wrapped around you. As your girlfriend she was officially suspicious of your fake boyfriend and always one to face a problem head-on, she asked to meet him.

You were very happy for your girlfriend to meet Sehun and took them both out for a meal. Sehun was there when the two of you arrived and he stood up to hug you and then awkwardly paused near Jihyo. "Hi" she said and also hugged him. She was determined to investigate him while also pretending everything was fine and she wasn't onto him. Jihyo was smart and knew not to give the game away or make Sehun suspect her at all and he didn't!

They had a nice 3-course meal and Jihyo was joyful and smiley the whole time. She asked Sehun about his interest and made him laugh a few times. Just before dessert arrived you went to the bathroom and that's when Jihyo decided to strike.

"So do you have any plans for the rest of tonight?" Sehun asked and Jihyo leant in "my only plan is to see what your intentions are towards my girlfriend" she glared. "I'm sorry?" Sehun said, confused how the sweet girl had changed so quickly but Jihyo didn't give him time to process. "Don't play dumb with me pretty boy, you try anything untoward with her and you'll have me to deal with!". "I'd never!" Sehun said and Jihyo nodded "you better hope for your sake that's true" she said "because I won't let anyone creep in on my girlfriend". "I promise I'm not interested in Y/n that way" Sehun said and Jihyo nodded "I know that's what you both say and I believe her, but I see the way you look at Y/n. How your eyes are drawn to her and you smile as soon as she walks in a room". "Yeah because she's my best friend!" Sehun cried but Jihyo just raised an eyebrow "sure you can stick with that story because I don't want to hear anything different. Got it? You hurt Y/n and I'll deal with you". "Okay" Sehun said still a little baffled and then Jihyo smiled widely because you'd returned. Sehun looked at you wondering if to say something but Jihyo shot him a look and she stopped because Jihyo was scary! He knew he did not want to cross her so figured he'd just have to prove to her he wasn't a threat.

Meanwhile, Jihyo was more convinced than ever that she'd caught Sehun in the act and told all the girls that. They believed her and asked what she was going to do next. She planned to keep an eye on Sehun and tell you the second she had anything concrete. The trouble was everything Sehun did made her more suspicious but she knew that wouldn't be enough for you...she needed plain hard proof and that was harder than she thought it would be.

Months ago you'd asked Jihyo what she was doing one weekend in May and she told you nothing and you replied "great!" so she assumed you had plans for the two of them. Which you did but you didn't mention they were with Sehun until the week before. "Why is he throwing a party again?" Jihyo asked as you parked in his driveway. "He just feels like he's going through a lot of changes in his life and wanted to celebrate" you said "he'll explain it better" and Jihyo doubted it. How egocentric did you have to be to throw a party because things were changing? Jihyo would never like Sehun but the good thing is, if he felt things were changing he might do something to reveal his feelings for you and Jihyo would be right there to catch him.

You'd come a little early to help set up but there were a few other people there much to Jihyo's relief. If it was just her, you and Sehun she'd have struggled greatly but some NCT and EXO members were there giving her a buffer from her least favourite maknae. She was thinking about how much better a maknae Tzuzu was than Sehun when you appeared beside her "hey! So all the food's sorted and guests will be arriving now" and the doorbell went as you said it. "Nice" Jihyo nodded "how many are coming?". "Not tons mainly Sehun's closest friends and family" you said and Jihyo eyed the door apprehensively as some people who could only be his family appeared. "It must be nice to be able to throw a party this extravagant for no real need" she said and you tensed. Jihyo noticed how your forehead creased and the slight thinning of your lips as you frowned "well it's not for nothing...as I said Sehun will explain it later and then it will make sense". Jihyo shrugged "maybe" and your frown stayed which annoyed her. She didn't see why you were always on Sehun's side and wondered if there was anything you'd ever disagree with your best friend on. Feeling a bit miffed Jihyo announced she was getting a drink and walked away.

She was happy to be alone in the kitchen when who appeared but Sehun and an elderly woman. "Oh Jihyo" Sehun said jumping "hey, I'm glad you could make it". "Y/n made sure I did" she said to remind him she was the one dating you and also to imply she didn't want to come. Sehun nodded "well I'm glad you're here, this is my grandmother". Jihyo bowed to her and did the polite thing and greeted her. "How do you know each other?" Sehun's grandmother asked and Jihyo jumped in before Sehun could "I'm dating his best friend". "Yeah but we're also friends" Sehun said trying to act cheery and Jihyo hesitated "well I wouldn't go that far, more like acquaintances...it was nice to meet you" she said to Sehun's grandmother and walked from the room.

She went into the living room but saw a framed photo of Sehun so did a U-turn and went out the front door. This was her idea of hell and to make it worse Sehun found her. He came right over to her and she was pleased that for once his happy mask was gone. "Hi" he said "look I just wanted to say, I know you don't like me but I hope after today that will change". "Don't bet on it" Jihyo said and Sehun's forehead creased "Jihyo there's no reason for you to be wary of me and I'm getting a little tired of it". "So?" Jihyo asked "I'm sick of you fluttering around my girlfriend and denying what you're doing". "So we're both unhappy" Sehun said "but we don't have to be, Jihyo if you just gave me a chance..." he started but Jihyo shook her head "I don't want to get to know you Sehun. What I've seen is enough and I'm not falling for this nice guy act you put on" she said gesturing to him "so drop it". Sehun sighed and went to speak when a voice cut in.

"Drop what?" you asked only hearing the last part of the conversation. You smiled thinking some fun teasing might be going on but froze as you saw Jihyo's angry face and Sehun looked upset. "What's going on?" you asked looking between them and Jihyo could practically see you holding yourself back from comforting Sehun. Sehun shook his head and blinked his eyes several times "I think you should tell her Jihyo" he said "because I don't need this, not anymore and not on a day like today" and he stormed away.

"Jihyo what's going on?" you asked and Jihyo was so annoyed. Sehun was painting her as the villain and him as the victim. "Jihyo" you said again and she shook her head "there's no point, you've already made up your mind about who's in the wrong here so there's no point in me even trying". "Jihyo I can see you're upset and I don't think anyone's in the wrong. I just want to know what's upset you so please tell me".

Jihyo took a deep breath and looked at you "Y/n he's into you! Can you really not see it?", "Wait you mean into me into me?" you asked and Jihyo laughed in exasperation and cried "yes! I confronted him on it weeks ago and he denied it but it's so clear! That's why he's been so wary of me he knows I'm onto him". "Jihyo he's really not, I know I told you that I'd considered Sehun in that way for a second but I can assure even if he'd debated it he came to the same conclusion". "But he looks so happy around you, you must notice that?" Jihyo asked "none of the photos look fake and you're both bi so it's possible he secretly has feelings about you". You shook your head "Jihyo trust me Sehun is not harbouring feelings for me". "But how can you know?" she asked and you smiled "because he's engaged to NCT's Johnny!". Jihyo froze "wait what?". "That's what he invited us round to his house for" you said "he asked me not to tell you because he's so protective over Johnny and wanted you two to meet tonight. We've always wanted our partners to get along so he wanted to introduce you to Johnny tonight and then tell everyone the news. Now it actually makes sense why he was so insistent on you being here tonight. He asked me ages ago to make sure you'd be able to come to his and it was because he wanted to prove himself to you".

Jihyo blinked "so he and Johnny...". "That was who the rumours were about all those years ago" you said "they've been together for 4 years now and Sehun proposed 7 months ago. I helped him" you smiled at the memory "they are utterly and truly in love Jihyo so I promise Sehun is not harbouring love for me. There's nobody who can hold a flame to Johnny in his eyes".

Jihyo froze and slowly sunk down until she was sat on the wall in Sehun's front garden. She put her hands to her head and groaned. "Jihyo?" you asked appearing at her side nervously peering at her but she hid her face. "I feel so stupid" she confessed and you went to comfort her. "No don't...it's okay". "But I've been horrible to Sehun this whole time and have been acting so unstable and irrational. I can't believe I was so far off and made such a fool of myself". You went to disagree but she continued. "The truth is I like you a lot okay!" Jihyo said "more than I've ever liked a partner and that's why I saw Sehun as a threat. I know it's no excuse but I'm hyper-vigilant to anything that could take you away from me and I'm making myself sound like a crazy obsessed person right?". "No!" you said "I had no idea you felt like this but you don't sound crazy at all, was there something in particular that upset you?".

"What?" Jihyo asked and you continued "well there must've been something about how Sehun and I acted that made you uncomfortable. What was it?". She shrugged "you didn't do anything Y/n it was me". "I don't believe that" you said sitting next to her "now please just tell me" and then reading her mind you added "I won't think you're silly". Jihyo frowned before explaining how she didn't like how Sehun interrupted your date and was a little intimidated by how far you were willing to go for him. "You both just seem so comfortable acting like a couple that it worries me a little. Your first instinct is always to protect him and put him first so it made me wonder how much room you have for me" she admitted "plus so many people think you're amazing together and it can make me feel like Sehun would be better for you...that you could be happier with him". "That's crazy!" you cried "nobody makes me as happy as you" and Jihyo paused "really?". You nodded "totally! But I realise I might not have done such a good job in showing you that". "No Y/n please don't blame yourself this is all me!" Jihyo said but you shook your head "no don't discount your feelings. I get it you know. I'd feel weird if a guy you were pretending to be dating crashed our date so casually and if the two of you looked so loved up in photos. It's not crazy and it's not fair to you". "But there's nothing you can do so can I be upset with you about it?" Jihyo asked. "Well I think there is something we can do" you said "firstly, I think Sehun and I can stop the charade. It's been a while now plus he's literally getting married so we can ease off it. No more photos plastered all over magazines and I'm going to speak to Sehun about boundaries. Your right, my first instinct as his best friend is to protect him but now I've got someone else to protect and it's not worth helping him if it hurts you". "Really?" Jihyo asked and you nodded "I love Sehun but I love you too!" you said and Jihyo paused as you said you loved her.

You went bright red and Jihyo could tell you meant it but hadn't meant to say it yet so she didn't make a big deal of it. "Thank you Y/n" she said and she leaned into you as you wrapped an arm around her. "If you ever need me Jihyo just tell me" you said "I'm here for you" and Jihyo nodded "I feel that now" and you stayed wrapped up together until Johnny came to find you as they were making the announcement.

You stood together hand in hand as Johnny said the news and the room erupted into happy cheers. Watching how Sehun looked at Johnny, Jihyo realised she had nothing to worry about all along and joined in. Later in the night she found Sehun and Johnny to tell them herself and Sehun smiled as she told him how happy for them she was. "I'm also so sorry" she said to him "I was horrible and never gave you a chance" but Sehun cut her off before she could finish "hey you were just protecting Y/n right? I can never be mad at someone doing that and I know she's got an amazing girl looking out for her. I'll always be grateful for that" he said and Jihyo smiled "I'll always protect her" and Sehun nodded "excellent! and speak of the devil..." as you appeared.

"Talking about me again? They're just obsessed aren't they Johnny?" and he nodded "it must be so hard to be so adored Y/n" he said smirking at you. You grinned and looked between Sehun and Jihyo "is everything okay now?" and they both nodded. "Perfect" you said "because there's so many couples things I want to four of us to do!" You and Johnny, as the planners of the group, started organising them all as Sehun and Jihyo watched. "Guess we're going to be seeing a lot more of each other" Jihyo said and Sehun shrugged "well only when we want to, Y/n spoke to me and I promise I'd give you guys some space. She was always the person I went to when I felt like I was all alone and habits die hard" he explained "but I have so many people who care about me" he said looking around the room "so it's time someone else gets her love and attention and I'm glad it's you". Jihyo smiled "you know with all this charm and compliments...I think we'll get along well Sehun" and he grinned "I know we will Jihyo" and she believed him.

Jihyo attended the wedding 8 months later and couldn't be happier. She'd spent more time with Sehun thanks to you and Johnny and discovered he was actually a decent human being! They had quite a bit in common and were both strong confident personalities and now the only time they argued was at game nights. You'd stuck to your word and the articles about the two of you disappeared and you now had a healthier relationship. Jihyo felt fully supported by you and no longer felt like she was sharing you or vying for your attention. She couldn't be happier and as you danced at Sehun's wedding she thought she'd tell you.

"It's occurred to me all those months ago at Sehun's engagement party, that I never said it back to you". "Said what?" you asked before blushing as you remembered. "You don't have to say it" you assured her but Jihyo shook her head "but I want to". "I've had a few partners who promised me the world and couldn't deliver but not you. You're so genuine and honest with me. You listened to me when I was doubting myself and worked to change things so I'd be happier. You love and care for me but also make me a better person and help me to grow. I'm not only happier with you but feel all my emotions more authentically and I feel like I should buy Nayeon and Yeri a car for suggesting you for me" she smiled making you laugh. "I'm so happy you're in my life Y/n and I love you" Jihyo said and you blinked letting the worlds soak over you and then smiled "I love you too...but you already knew that" and kissed her as tears escaped down your cheek.

His timing always perfect, this was when Sehun appeared and he gaped "Y/n you're not crying because I'm married now are you?". "No you idiot!" you cried laughing as Jihyo hugged you. "Yeah I actually know why you're crying" Sehun smiled and you looked at him "what how?" and saw his eyes go to Jihyo. "You two planned this?" you asked and Jihyo nodded "I knew I wanted to tell you and got Sehun's advice. He said you always love that scene in Anastasia where her and Dimitri are dancing in the ballroom and how romantic it is so I thought I'd recreate that" Jihyo said and you beamed "you two are the best!" and they nodded and said "we know" at the same time. The two burst into laughter and you watched them feeling so loved and protected.

You had the best friend in Sehun and the best girlfriend in the world in Jihyo! You weren't going to lose either of them anytime soon and you knew in that moment, you wanted something like this for you and Jihyo, you wanted her to be your wife someday but that was something for the future. Tonight you just wanted to dance with the beautiful girl who loved you and so you danced the night away.

_____

Happy Bisexual Awareness Week!!!

It doesn't start until tomorrow but I thought this imagine would be a perfect way to celebrate the holiday. I know gay marriage isn't legal in South Korea (way to bum out Bisexual Awareness Week huh?) but that seemed so horrible to me that I'm just going to re-write Korean history and pretend it is.

Also (and I hope this goes without saying) I am not assuming anyone's sexuality and the pairings in this were completely random. If you're offended by this, you're the problem.

Have a great week :)

[ctrl-alt-tahu]

The Everyman Problem

So, I've had a kernel of a Bionicle post rattling around in my for a couple weeks that I haven't quite been able to articulate, but I think I might have the angle to explain it now.

I'm an "old Bionicle fan": by which I mean, I'm old enough to have got into Bionicle in the "Mata Nui" era (2001-2003). A glance at the notes on my big [unfinished, looking abandoned] alt-canon fanfic shows that I'm old enough to have disliked the change of the Toa from Mata to Nuva... in 2002.

So, which that as background, remember that I'm old enough to remember a time when it wasn't known at all that Matoran, Toa, and Turaga were all the same "species."

Thinking back on it, I don't think I initially "noticed" the revelation that no only were the Turaga were former Toa, but the Toa (Metru) were Matoran before that--Takanuva too, but he was something of a special case. In 2004, I was really just absorbing that Vakama, Onewa, etc. were former Toa--that "Toa" might mean something other than "single demi-urgic hero of each element." I got there eventually, as far as acceptance goes, but it part of my age-related fade out of the Bionicle fandom.

2006, on the other hand, emphasized the other part that I'd ignored more during the LoMN/WoS era: that Toa came from Matoran. I still don't love this, but until last night I couldn't really lay a finger on how to express why.

I thought it might just be my habitual stick-in-the-muditude: you changed Jaller from Captain of the Guard! You changed Matoro from Nuju's stoic interpreter to a worry-ridden saviour.

I also thought it might just be the genre shift: it's all fantasy, of course, but it's a different thing from the island mythology-vibe of Mata Nui to the Lost City of Atlantis vibe of Metru Nui (and then the vibes beyond). I like the Toa more as unique elemental avatars than evolved Matoran, but that's not really it either.

Last night, though, I watched later era Marvel movie--it doesn't matter which one, because they all have this problem--and as the credits were rolling, I realised that the reason I don't really like the MCU is much the same as this "problem" I had with Bionicle: if just about anyone can be a superhero, you lose the "ordinary" members of the story.

Putting it another way, I realised I prefer "chosen one" stories to "X-men" stories. This is probably the Tolkien fan to some extent: you can have a world full of magic and heroes and super-powers, but if it also has "ordinary" folk, their specific importance in the story is that they ARE ordinary: Gandalf and Aragorn are heroes and amazing, yes, but Frodo never "levels up"--he is a greater person at the end of the story than the beginning, but it is the growth of an ordinary person.

Because superheroes are so common in the MCU (or DCU, etc), it's hard to have ordinary people be front and center--and harder still for them to stay ordinary people. And something like that is my problem with where Bionicle went that I don't think ever fully resolved for me: part of the wonder of Mata Nui, the whole storytelling point of MNOG is that the Matoran contribute to the victory too: they have no mask powers, no elemental powers, but they are there to help the heroes and do their part and its essential.

This already starts changing with MoL, it changes more with LoMN, and by the time we get to the Voya Nui arc, we've gone "Full MCU": everyone in the story can be a Toa.

I think, if the Inika had been "four or five" new characters and only one "already-known" Matoran, I'd have been much happier. But when you take the most prominent Matoran from every tribe and make them all Toa... who's left? The headcanons that the Chronicler's company become Toa too both satisfy and don't work for me for this reason. They satisfy me if they leave the Inika as Matoran, because I think that was a better way to go; they annoy me if they're BOTH Toa now, because that exacerbates what I think is the "problem" here.

It's not really a problem, objectively, but it is my subjective sticking point. And it's the reason that even though I might keep most of this lore, despite the grumbling, I'm willing to jettison completely and utterly the idea that "only some Matoran are destined to become Toa." Destiny is always a hard thing to make work in the story, but the Doylist result is that Matoran now come in two categories: Special Protagonist and Ordinary: and the Ordinary is now completely swept off the stage and I really don't want that: I want the story to include a real focus on some powerless, ordinary individuals.

So I'd rather it be that ANYONE can turn into a Toa: they don't, maybe, because the circumstances lead there, but every Matoran has that potential. Because if anyone COULD be a hero, then at least when they do become a hero, it's more ordinary.

But I'd still rather that none of them could--but I'm not sure that is a concept you could return to without retconning Gen-1 so far that you end up with Gen-2. And I don't think I want THAT either.