#Hikari no Machi

[mangadore]

[vixvaporub]

City of Light | Hikari no Machi by Inio Asano – Chapter 8: Rebirthday Song

[phosphophy11ite]

city of light / inio asano

[shenrickyz]

MACHI

WELL maybe they've always been weird.. jeno guesses that's pretty rich now.

FEATURING ─ fhk, ljn, nct dream ensemble. WARNINGS ─ mentions of death, mistreatment, emotional abuse, denial of feelings, overuse of the word "weird", this goes backwards in time until the last scene. WORD COUNT ─ 6.2k NOTES ─ well well well! hello!! third jenhii work ever, oh i missed these homos, i feel like i havent been able to write in WEEKS and i started this to explain confusion because i mentioned that they kissed then i never elaborated on that 👍 anyway, two posts in one day is crazy.. but this has been in the drafts for almost two weeks soooo yeah, last scene is terrible dont read it!! (especially not @ jj because it might anger you) i feel terrible and im upset cause i might miss the marathon tmrw 😖 praying this cold is cured quickly 😞

jeno has a hunch for something, something that involves hikari.

and he can't explain it, but there's something happening, he feels something. maybe it's in the smile, his smile has always been pretty, a display of love that he wishes he could simply gatekeep from the rest of the world.

there's something about him, there it is, it isn't exactly the feeling in the air, it's how hikari makes him feel in his entirety.

jeno is completely unfocused, a muffled sound nearby, maybe it was chenle's endless chatter, a staff's phone ringing, mark's iphone, but jeno could care less. there's a tug at his hand, and he gets pulled away by someone, nothing but hikari on his mind.

he wonders if hikari can feel it too. he doesn't really think it matters, he'll never release it verbally, he will only ever show it through the actions he performs, he has no doubt about that.

but it's not like that matters anyway, because in one way or another, hikari will always be there.

(which if he thinks about it, he doesn't mind that too much).

—

it gets weird after jakarta.

which, in all honesty, is pretty expected. it's always just when things seem to be moving forward in hikari's life that something happens. he feels content with his place in the group, mikito has left him alone, he's grieving better, everything is fine.

everything was fine.

and maybe it's all jeno's fault, he initiated it, but if you were in such a position, could you help yourself?

friends don't kiss, it's the most abnormal thing a pair of two completely platonic best friends could do.

now hikari and jeno have never had a 'normal' friendship, maybe the affection is was much too sickly at times, but they never got to the point of kissing.

so yeah, they kissed and now their weird, weirder than usual. hikari's constant avoidance is the usual tactic, shifting eyes and scooting away is simply.. not subtle, but he isn't exactly trying to be.

hikari is just the slightest bit irritated, but if he is, he doesn't make it clear.

but that's how most things are with hikari, they're simply implied, not said.

thailand is next, and by the time the first show rolls around, the avoidance becomes much more natural.

so natural that it's strange, and not strange in the usual way hikari and jeno are.

and jeno can't handle it, it's clear that he can't either.

"hey".

hikari's eyes flitter upward, his hands beginning to fiddle at the jewelry which decorates his fingers. jeno had successfully cornered him against the wall, how amusing. he can't help his smile. "yes?"

"..are we good?" jeno can't find his voice, he instead whispers, the shouting of fans rendered useless to him.

hikari's smile reaches his eyes, it's almost too reassuring. his gaze softens, face scrunching as he removes his earpiece to be met with noise of the crowd. "yeah".

"you sure?" he simply needs reassurance, it's better to get that immediately than just walk on with no new words. hikari gives a chuckle, and jeno's bottom lip juts out. "i just need to know".

"yes jeno i'm sure" hikari replies, smoothing over his outfit with sweaty palms. "i was just.. thinking about it, don't worry, okay?"

so they won't talk about it. they aren't going to talk about kissing, they aren't going to talk about why it was reciprocated, they just won't.

hikari reaches downward to intertwine their fingers, an act of affection that's more of a silent agreement. "did you think i was mad at you?"

jeno's head tips down. "kinda".

not kinda, he really was afraid he'd just ruined his relationship with one of his groupmates forever.

and really, breaking his bond with hikari would've been one of jeno's biggest mistakes ever.

"wasn't mad, just surprised".

sometimes, jeno feels that hikari's too easygoing.

and it seems he can read his thoughts, because his hands squeeze in a show of inhumane strength. "don't worry about it".

unfortunately, jeno will just continue to worry, because what else can he do in a situation like this?

when hikari's fingers slip from his, there's an emptiness there, and maybe his smile is nice, yes, but there's still worry fizzling into the air.

okay, jeno's fibbing just a bit, it was weird even before jakarta, a month prior in osaka, it could've been considered weird.

it's not as strange as kissing your groupmate whilst on tour per say, but it still could be considered pretty.. not platonic-friend-like.

it's simply waking-up-your-groupmate-at-midnight-for-convenience-store-snacks weird, which isn't something jeno is exactly against.

"psst, jeno!"

jeno is usually a heavy sleeper, but again, hikari possesses some inhumane strength, because he quickly shakes him out of the slumber with little to no difficulty. "what? what happened? is the hotel on fire?"

jeno's syllables stick together, his words molding into something barely eligible. renjun stays fast asleep in his bed, completely oblivious. hikari's hands stay shoved in his pockets, his tongue sliding across his teeth. "i can't sleep.." he whispers in the lamp lit room, and jeno nods against the soft material of his pillow.

he hums, hand falling over his eyes, just barely blocking hikari from his view. the insomnia has simply become a norm for the older, jeno isn't even surprised. "sorry" he laughs, and hikari's breaths were short replies.

"do you wanna go to the convenience store?"

jeno cracks his left eye open, suddenly intrigued by the mention of the convenience store. his eyebrow raises, and hikari smiles once more. "at this time?"

"i wanna show you my favorite snacks".

courtesy of his bright convenience store knowledge, that's what hikari calls it anyway, jeno isn't really sure how it works. just the mere mention of convenience stores now makes jeno feel hungry, and snacks, really? well how does hikari expect for jeno to be able to turn that one down?

"are you sure?"

"well i'm paying".

jeno rises from his place in an amusing sense, drawing a short chuckle from the older. "in that case.."

hikari's eyebrow raise is one of offense, and jeno just barely snickers at the fact. "i'm joking.. swear!"

his eyes widen when the older slaps a hand over his mouth, his pointer finger motioning over to a still snoring renjun. "put on a heavy sweater, it's cold outside".

and in just a few minutes, the two were somehow able to escape hotel confines without being seen, hands naturally finding each other's once again.

"you really couldn't show me snacks in the morning?"

"we're only in japan for like.. two more days? might as well do this now".

"you ran out of melatonin" jeno mutters, face scrunching at the bright lights of the upcoming convenience store.

the accusation gets a momentary glare, but the older doesn't decide to argue with that one. it isn't even wrong, it's completely true.

jeno will just let hikari do all the talking, he's much too afraid of butchering words, so when hikari greets the cashier, he simply nods in fervor like a mind controlled robot.

"how are we supposed to hide these?"

hikari uncharacteristically snorts, staring down a particularly sweet pocky flavor. "you think we're gonna hide them?"

jeno's shrug is pretty undefined in itself. "how are we supposed to explain this? oh mark hyung we woke up at midnight to go get cookies and cream pocky! it was for a good cause!"

hikari's laughter is hidden behind his mountains of feigned solemnity. he opts to leave that one unanswered. "what do you want?"

jeno's lips press into a thin line. "i don't really know what any of these are.."

"well just choose something that looks appealing, i'll pay".

jeno's eyes dazzle immediately. "aww, are you treating me? this is like a date, right? it's all on you?"

the upturn of his lips is simply.. satisfying. "you were just complaining about mark hyung catching us".

"but you're paying!"

hikari squeezes jeno's lips shut, raising an inquisitive eyebrow at him. "hush, or i'm not getting you anything".

jeno's lips remained turned downward, just a little bummed out that their 'date' was ruined.

yeah, that's what it was, a date.

at this rate, jeno should probably be considered the worlds most consistent liar, because it's always been weird.

and weird in the sense that it all lingered for too long. the stares, the touch of hands, the hugs, the snickers. maybe once it was all normal, completely platonic with no sign of feelings in sight, but now?

it's just strange to say in your own head, what do you mean you might harbor something else for your groupmate? it's like over analyzing things, who just randomly has that thought one day? no normal person does, that's for sure.

and the thing with jeno is, he needs actual evidence. maybe see hikari's cheeks go red or something. hikari is naturally like that. he naturally looks after everyone with the prettiest smiles painted on his face, he naturally nags the members when they go without eating, it's a core part of who he is.

so it doesn't mean anything really, jeno can't exactly pout when hikari gives the other members attention, because that's just how he is.

it's never in the reverse order though.

"hiki hyung is not coming to practice today!"

the repetitive instrumental of candy paused as seojun strolls into the room with his shoes screeching loudly behind him, his arms folded over his chest. the rest of the members begin their murmurs immediately, mark chiming in from his place in the center; "is he okay?"

"he's sick, all cold symptoms!" the elder of the 02s waves his arms back and forth, clearing his throat.

"and he willingly decided to stay home?"

"he didn't" renjun buts in, ending up right beside seojun as the younger vigorously nods in agreement. "we literally had to trap him in his room, he was about to cough up his lungs and still saying that he was fine".

the scowl is nothing real, that's just a regular stubborn hikari action. jeno can't even recall how many times the older seemed on his last leg and still forced himself through practice, it's also a core part of his personality, gently gaslighting himself into thinking everything is fine.

'fine' is his buzzword, jeno's face scrunches whenever he hears it fall from his lips. it's become grating for him to even hear, just hearing renjun mimic his voice made his shoulders raise uncomfortably.

jaemin taps jeno's shoulder when he notices him disassociating, and jeno jumps at the touch. "you okay?"

jeno nods silently.

jaemin snickers, practically reading his mind. "he'll be fine".

jeno grimaces. "don't say that word".

jaemin's nudge is an affectionate gesture, his smile soft. "he won't die, okay? i know you miss him and all".

well jaemin knows best jeno guesses (somehow, he always seems to know).

seojun gets to his mission at trying to get a punch from chenle.. which means irritating him to the point that he runs away from the older and uses jisung as his shield. jeno can just barely laugh at his shenanigans, donghyuck makes a joke that doesn't land well and renjun scoffs, mark tells them to get out of it so they can continue practice.

but jeno doesn't exactly focus during practice. the dance is fine, hikari is simply the main thing on his mind. the fact that he was actually able to get convinced by someone to stay home is a revelation, he loathes missing practice, the perfectionist tendencies get to him so often that he would skip hospital visits to make sure he wouldn't miss practice.

so when jeno knocks on hikari's door later that evening, he doesn't exactly expect an answer.

he peaks his head in through the door, his lips unconsciously turning up at the sight of hikari's room. he simply loves how the air of it feels.

a short groan resounds from under a pile of blankets that hide some sort of.. figure in the middle of hikari's bed.

jeno scratches his cheek, silently giggling. "are you alive?"

in a stark movement, he throws the pile of blankets once settled on top of him, off of him, sucking his teeth as he covers his face with his hands. "i hate winter comebacks.."

jeno's pout is for the sake of hikari, who looks pretty terrible. his reddened skin stands out in stark contrast to his lighter complexion, jeno clears his throat, and the older presents his best smile, full of all the fatigue reminiscent of his own eye bags.

jeno steps in without any more words, closing the door of the room with his foot. "chicken noodle soup?"

hikari's laughter is sweet, even with the uncomfortable rasp of his voice. his eyes flitter up when jeno sits at the edge of his bed, his smile is too pretty. "did you make this?"

jeno's smile drops immediately, lips downturned. "no, jaeminie did, but! but! i was there on standby just in case something went wrong and the food started burning".

the suck of hikari's teeth proves to jeno that his half half half-truth was mostly bogus. "you barely turn on the oven, jeno".

"okay but i was still there! and besides, your sick, who better to bring you soup than me? your favorite person in the whole entire universe?"

"that one can be debated".

jeno's expression of defeat is simply priceless, and his pout is reminiscent of a sulking child. "don't deny it, you love me".

"i can love you without you being my favorite person in the whole entire universe".

"i could be though".

hikari simply sighs, staring down at the soup with clear indifference. "not sure if i can eat.."

"you have to".

hikari lightly scoffs. "i know".

it sits idly in jeno's lap, and when hikari reaches over to take it, their hands simply grace each others. jeno watches the movement, shaking himself out of it quickly when the older sighs.

"give jaemin my thank you's".

the words are mundane, but there's something else up, something on his mind that jeno can sense with a little whisper behind his ears. "if you need to take more time you can".

hikari stares, as if offended by such a suggestion. "i can't sit out of candy, i was already gone for.. like the whole year already? i missed the first days of the tour.. i'm out of hiatus months".

it's meant to be amused, but his tone of voice indicates that he probably believes them. jeno bites his cheek. "you had a family emergency".

he begins stirring with the spoon he barely even grasps. "they gave me four months, i took seven, and they clearly punished me for that one".

"grief doesn't just go away after a few months, you need to take it easy".

in a strange moment, hikari smiles, laughing at himself. "i need to be more present now, this cold isn't the end of the world".

but the comeback is next week.

jeno keeps his mouth shut. he seems to anticipate the next words, because he cuts him off instantly: "i'll be okay, alright? you know i will".

"do i?"

hikari narrows his eyes. "yes".

hikari seems to simply get the constant need for reassurance jeno possesses, hikari seems to simply get jeno as a whole.

it's simply nice to have a person like that.

hikari moves backward when jeno tries to get closer. "no hugs, i might kill you".

jeno tilts his head. "i'm invincible".

"yeah, but your hugs are like.. deadly".

now it's jeno turn to raise his eyebrows. "that's not true!"

"it is, you hug everyone like it's their last day on your earth" hikari can't help his smile as he touches on such a thing. "your affection is so.. aggressive".

"but it's nice aggression".

"i'm weak, jeno".

hikari again laughs at his own words, averting his eyes from jeno's face as to not fall victim to the puppy eye attack. "thank you, even though you didn't make any of the soup at all, i appreciate you".

well maybe jeno should just fall over then, he's so sweet, fuck the cold, jeno hopes it dies.

okay, too aggressive? maybe he should tone it down.

"it's nothing, rest okay, eight hours!"

hikari sucks his teeth again, and jeno gives him a look, causing for him to immediately soften. "fine, eight hours".

usually, the word 'fine' would make jeno scrunch up in discomfort. it's possibly one of the worst words hikari could ever use on a daily basis, but in this context, it's simply.. comforting. "you better, i'll be watching".

hikari's smile again reaches his eyes. it's a very pretty smile, jeno wants to see it all the time, it's simply better this way.

"okay".

"i'm your favorite person in the whole entire universe!"

and that was just a cheap shot, if only to get a laugh, but to also get another pretty smile.

is it really lying it jeno only realized that they've always been weird after the kiss? is it really jeno's fault for seeing everything differently after his actions?

well, no, he doesn't really think so.

right before glitch mode, hikari receives terrible news, news that fucks him up in a way none of the members have exactly seen before.

glitch mode is hikari's favorite project of the groups so far, he got to participate much more than he did in the past, he got much more singing time, he was just.. pleased with how everything was going.

but of course, nothing can ever really go his way.

retreating back into himself is easy, it's easy to do when your in a whole other country and have no idea how to healthily grieve.

four days, four days until glitch mode releases, and he's only just shrunk down even more. he's always been pretty quiet, but he pretty much hides from the members with his plastic smile.

and really, they all know what's going to happen.

jeno usually doesn't get sleepless often, but the strings of fate make him lurch up in his bed and begin stretching his arms.

he settles for a few moments, staring square at his blank wall.

then, he smells it.

ramen.

ramen, carbonara flavored ramen, at two in the morning.

and really, there's only one person who can be awake at this time. jeno would guess seojun if it was a regular day, but the other fell asleep with jisung in his room, so he's off the table. jaemin sleeps forever, and so does renjun, which means..

jeno isn't surprised when he shuffles into the kitchen and finds hikari right there.

hikari doesn't register him at first, playing with his chopsticks. jeno rubs his eyes, and the older finally glances up at him.

jeno's sigh is laced with humor. "ramen at two am?"

unfortunately for him, hikari doesn't laugh, simply gazes at his ramen with the head resting on his chest. "it's my coping mechanism".

jeno can see the red of his eyes, and his face drops a little too quickly. hikari just stares at the ramen before him, disassociating immediately. he's clearly very tired, jeno feels as if he's slowly slipping.

"you.. you haven't been sleeping right?"

"who cares?" he waves his chopsticks dismissively in the air. his chewing is silent, and his eyes attempt to flutter closed, but he keeps shaking himself awake. "sleep is useless".

jeno swallows down nothing, simply staring at the older. this is simply a little terrifying, hikari's eyes hold nothing, jeno tries to make out some emotion there, but he sees absolutely nothing. "are you okay?"

hikari's eye twitches, and he uncharacteristically smiles. "i like this color on you".

can't you just answer my question?

"hikari—"

"pink is nice" his words are a little muffled, but he makes it clear with the way he gazes. now there's seems to be something there, a deep affection that he only stares at jeno with. "you should go blonde next".

jeno clasps his hands together onto the table. "i guess i'll take that advice.."

hikari bites into his cheek, taking in a deep sigh. he stays stuck for a moment, silence cutting so deep he may as well fall over currently. he rubs his eyes, humming. "i don't know if i should cry or not".

jeno's frown is permanent, he urges for the older to continue, and he watches the way hikari bats his lashes. "i was given four months, i need to make sure my mom is okay, yuto, manami, god i hate my dad but—" he covers his face with his hands. "wish i could turn back time or something.."

"is four months enough for you?"

his shrug is full of nothing, and he rolls his eyes. "don't know, going home is.. difficult" he smooths his fingers over his rings, eyes again flitting upward to look over at jeno. "i don't want to miss promotions but i probably wouldn't get through them anyway".

"i'll go to the airport with you".

hikari's chuckle is breathless, even when he laughs he looks breathtaking. he's tired, yet he still finds the reply cute. "it's cause you'll miss me so much right?"

jeno nods so quickly that he's afraid it might fall off. hikari snickers as he ruffles his hair, tease on the tip of his tongue. "of course, you're just trying to flatter me".

jeno practically leans into his hand, the feeling is comfortable. "flattery looks nice on you" he mumbles, glancing up at him with eyes simply full of devotion. "sucks you have to leave now, i know you really like this album".

hikari simply sighs. "i'll watch your fancams to support you" he slides the plate of ramen closer to both of them. when he earns an incredulous look from jeno, he snorts, looking down at the floor.

"just mine?"

he decides to leave that one unanswered.

jeno leans onto the older, eyes closing, cheeks tinted a pink color. hikari's fingers stay busy in his hair, but he isn't exactly all relaxed. "you didn't answer my question.."

he looks up expectantly, but the other simply stares ahead. "no, i'm not okay".

jeno gazes up. was that honesty? his smile drops, but the older again chuckles. "loss is normal, i'll get through it, alright?"

jeno doesn't answer, simply nods. hikari raises an eyebrow, and he smooths a thumb over jeno's cheek. "when are you leaving?"

"the twenty sixth".

oh.. well that's two days away, jeno forgot about that one. his teeth sink into his bottom lip. "you need a break".

hikari doesn't seem to agree with that, but he doesn't argue. "you have to go to sleep".

he stops touching jeno, and the younger feigns normalcy, even if he misses the feeling of the older running his fingers through his hair. his gaze stills, and he clears his throat. "i can wait for you".

"it's two twenty four".

jeno blinks, then smiles a wide smile. "i don't care".

and hikari snickers again, hiding his face behind his eyes.

—

busy airports would usually bother jeno if not for the reason he was here.

xuwicha nags hikari like the motherly figure he is, his nature reminiscent of how hikari acts towards the dream members, and zixin almost kills him with the tightness of his hug. hikari almost cries.. twice, he has to take constant deep breaths to hold back the tears, but zixin bursts into tears, having to be dragged away by the 96 liner.

makani is the least emotional of the three, but he still gets pretty down as he says his goodbyes. his hugs are affectionate, even if it necessarily isn't his thing.

minjae can't come say goodbye, he still has an injury that renders him hospitalized, but hikari made sure to visit him the whole entire week, chastising him so he could take care of himself.

seojun doesn't speak much, simply wishes him the best of luck and leaves it at that, jisung rests a steady hand on his back, but he says nothing.

renjun's bracelets, jaemin's kisses, and chenle's jokes aside, hikari manages to keep himself from crying. donghyuck takes the most time, practically choking hikari in his arms, but he just took it as it was, making sure to laugh.

"take care of yourself please" mark shakes his shoulders, leveling at him with a stare hikari shares with everyone when he reminds them to eat three meals a day. "i'm serious" hikari looks down at the floor, humming as mark continues to shake him gently.

jeno remains silent, biting his bottom lip. hikari shoves his hands into his pocket, rocking back and forth on his heels. he pauses for a moment, lips pressed into a thin line.

"jeno" he calls softly, his hand extending outward. "come".

jeno blinks dumbly, as if hikari is speaking another language. he only unfreezes at the sound of donghyuck's distinct snicker, and he blushes as he laces his hands with hikari's, the two beginning to walk forward.

"seojunie is sad" hikari looks down, his own eyes holding their own weight of dejection. he sucks his teeth, using his free hand to again sling his bag over his shoulder.

"everyone is sad" jeno mutters, a small breath falling from his lips. "i think he might cry.."

hikari glances over at jeno, then smiles. "he won't, he's just a little gloomy, i'll only be gone for four months".

(knowing what the future is, hikari greatly underestimated his own words).

he settles into the feeling of holding his hand, the cold of his rings clashing against jeno's knuckles. it'll be a long time before he can do something like this again, he takes in everything he's currently feeling.

jeno stays silent, yet he earns a nudge from the older. "you also sad?"

"kinda".

not kinda, a lot.

jeno keeps it to himself.

hikari hums, squeezing his hand. "i'm just a phone call away".

"phone calls don't really compare".

the older sighs, clicking his tongue. "i'll be okay, you know i will" he lets go of jeno's hand, and the other has half a mind to take it again. "i'll watch the countdown live, i swear".

jeno nods, but he doesn't exactly care about that, he simply stares. "i don't.." he takes a pause, collecting his next few words. "i love you".

jeno isn't exactly sure why he says it, but maybe he just needed to tell him. hikari knows, yes, but there's nothing wrong with reminding someone of your love for them.

hikari snickers, shaking his head. "i love you too".

jeno stops for a moment, but he then steps forward and wraps his arms around the older, taking in a deep breath. "be safe okay?" he whispers, and hikari nods, head resting onto his chest.

hikari kisses his teeth, blinking away any upcoming tears. he clears his throat, cursing at himself for getting emotional. he looks away for a moment, smiling again. "i will, um.. i'll call you when i get there".

his smile is full of amusement, and he again averts his gaze away from jeno, who he can't bear to look at in the current moment. "say hi to your family for me".

hikari nods. "i will".

and jeno isn't exactly sure why, but he smiles as he watches hikari walk away.

maybe the kiss flipped a switch of some sort, jeno simply thinks hikari is.. strange.

he's strange in a good way, his smiles are bright, his snickers are warm, and maybe pretty is just a good word to describe him, it's perfect.

and yeah it's always been weird. since before jakarta, osaka, candy era, glitch mode era. maybe we young was it began, the fleeting stares and lingering touches, or it could've been go, that era was when they shared a room for a time.

but if you gave jeno an ultimatum, completely erasing the events of jakarta from his mind, boom era was especially strange.

hikari liked boom, he probably considered it their best title track at the time. the era wasn't exactly the best, but he kept up smiles enough that no one really suspected anything.

renjun saw through them in an instant, it took jeno a while, but it eventually became too fake for him to not notice.

there was a time during boom era where they almost kissed, but it was such a tiny hint that it wasn't until a few weeks after that jeno realized what kind of a moment they had.

it was a little bit of a party, the 00 line gathered together in the dorms to drink in celebration of boom promotions being a success. they had, though not seamlessly, booted the three youngest out of the dormitory, underage drinking is a huge no!

hikari didn't necessarily enjoy the taste of alcohol, or drinking for that matter, but he participated for the sake of inclusion. he also participated to make sure none of them would do something that could probably kill them, his first instinct is to always look after the others after all.

jeno gets pretty clingy when drunk, seeing as how he practically crushed renjun's bones with his hugs. it'd only been a good two hours, yet jeno had transformed into a completely different person.

"hiki!" the older startled when jeno came out of nowhere, wincing as the younger squeezes him with an indescribable amount of strength. "you love me right?"

his expression faltered for a moment, but then there was a soft snicker. he blinked, then his nose scrunched. "of course".

jeno's smile widens in a way that should be humanly impossible, yet his grip just again tightens, hikari's teeth grinding against one another in a show of his strength. "you hug too tight".

jeno nuzzled against the older, hikari's hand coming to caress his hair in repetitive ministrations. "how much?"

curse at jeno or whatever, but he's a man who needs reassurance!

(actually, it's less of the need for reassurance and more of him completely loving hearing hikari express his love for him).

"do i really need to speak in specific?"

"so you don't love me?"

though drunken rantings can occasionally be amusing, hikari was tired, his head was beginning to pound, even with the minimal drinking he did.

jeno rose from his place kneeling on the floor, catching the older off guard and making him stumble backward. hikari almost loses his balance, but jeno keeps him steady enough that he doesn't fall on his face.

"okay, maybe we should go to sleep now".

jeno pouts, sighing loudly in an over dramatic manner. "you don't love me! i knew it! nana hiki doesn't love me!"

"don't say that, i do" hikari replies soffly, his gaze replicating the words which leave his lips. "you've just drank too much, maybe get some water, you'll complain in the morning".

jeno doesn't respond to that one, keeping himself against hikari as the older takes him over to his room, the younger giggling. "you're strong".

"i'm not carrying you, were both just walking.." hikari's eyes barely keep themselves open, they almost flutter shut midway through their walk.

"you are a good person" jeno giggles, the smell of alcohol on his breath just makes it past hikari, but he doesn't comment on it. hikari merely hums, though the words fizzle into the air, he still listens.

"you need to let go sometimes, you do good for dream, you—" jeno hiccups before he continues, holding in his upcoming burps. "—you shouldn't be so hard on yourself, mark hyung is proud of you".

hikari blinks, sitting jeno down onto his bed. the other doesn't stop with his continuous rambling though: "you're a good leader".

the older snorts. "i'm not a leader".

"you are, kinda, mostly.. i don't know how to explain it, you care, that's enough of a leader trait".

hikari stares, taking in the drunk rant and overthinking quite literally all of it. his shoulders raise into a shrug of confusion, and he settles right beside the other, motioning for jeno to lay down. "i can't have that responsibility, i'd hate it".

"you already do it, you just don't realize it" jeno says, a lazy smile overtaking his features. he stares endlessly, hands finding purchase on hikari's thighs. a frown tugs at hikari's lips, and jeno immediately raises an eyebrow. "you love me right?"

maybe jeno is simply crazy, but he couldn't help himself in the moment. he thought hikari looked especially pretty at the time, and seeing him not smiling made things feel a bit strange. he almost leaned forward in a point of.. well, something, but hikari squeaked and leaned backward in an immediate reaction, opting to chuckle in reply.

"okay, now it's time to go to sleep" he lays jeno down onto his bed, sighing as he again settles into the feeling of his headache. "i'll give you medicine in the morning".

"i love you hikari" jeno spontaneously blurts, waving a dismissive hand in the air as he snuggles against his pillow.

the older snickers, immediately looking away. "uh huh, i love you too".

he never mentions it.

actually, they do talk about kissing.

the way the two decide to go about it is as subtle as it is careless, the references almost give them away, but hikari is smart, he doesn't say much, just enough that he can get his point across to jeno.

they finally talk about it in manila, but again, subtlety is how they get through it.

"you were mad at me" jeno states, picking at his fingernails. hikari slaps his hands away from each other, gaze again averted as he looks out the window. "admit it".

"i wasn't, i was just pretty taken aback" when hikari glances again, jeno's arms are folded over his chest. he raises an eyebrow, then snickers at the image.

"i still feel like you're mad" he whispers. it's a strange conversation, a strange conversation between a pair of friends who kissed two months ago then didn't really talk about it in specific.

exactly, it's weird.

"when was the last time i got mad about something?"

it's a pretty good question, jeno already knows the answer to that one. it could all just be confusion, the act of feeling uncertain with.. everything. he places his hands into his lap, staring dead at the older. "you don't get mad in a regular way, you get mad silently, it's not that you act angry, you just overthink things and distance yourself".

hikari's face immediately drops, maybe the truth is simply too much to bear. he doesn't decide to show it, he instead bites into his cheek. "that doesn't mean i was mad".

"but you were upset".

hikari sighs. "a little".

he sinks downward and sits beside jeno, continuing to stare out of the window at the night sky. his hands flatten against the floor, and he unconsciously straightens his posture. he notices jeno fidgeting in his peripheral vision, and he sucks his teeth. "usually, kissing is something that friends don't do".

"i know".

"so why'd you do it then?"

the question might be dumb, because the answer pretty much hangs in the air. hikari's left eye twitches at the drag of his tone, but his gaze stays still on jeno.

jeno decides to shrug, maybe he won't give anything away.

wait.. what exactly is he afraid of giving away? is there something to give away?

"i don't know".

jeno would come up with some excuse if he were talking to another member, most people would say that 'i don't know' isn't a valid answer, but it's hikari's main answer for many things, so he know there won't be judgement there.

"did you lose control or something?"

jeno pauses at the strange reference, yet he silently laughs. "i guess you could say that.."

"wow, am i that pretty?"

oh jeno couldn't put it in enough words.

but that isn't exactly the reason either.

"..yeah".

"you're good at flattery".

jeno clears his throat at that, scratching his arm. "it's not.. i guess it's weird".

"well kissing sometimes ruins friendships".

not sometimes, it mostly ruins friendships. jeno isn't stupid, he was just being impulsive. his mind had gone blank and he saw an especially pretty person in front of him, he wasn't.. thinking.

it's not like jeno likes hikari like that..

he thinks at least.

"it's not like i have a crush on you.." he laughs at his own words, parroting the whispers of his own mind.

there's a falter in his eyes, the indifference once there becomes much more of a sting, but if he realizes what he has painted over his features, he quickly shakes his head to snap himself out of it. "of course".

the silence in the room taunts jeno, but hikari is quick to smile again. "just don't fall in love with me, okay?"

it's a bit of a double edged sword, hikari is putting a strange offer on the table. it could be classified as hypocritical in a sense, both hikari and jeno have clearly already crossed that line, they're both guilty as charged, yet he speaks such words anyway.

but for some reason, jeno nods. "alright, i'll hold you to that".

he won't, he knows he won't.

hikari and jeno have always been weird, really, the two just never mentioned it until after a specific moment in time where one of them let it slip.

jeno will let himself believe that everything will stay normal after this, it's easier than coming to terms with how he (both him and hikari in a more general sense) feels.

[morimyulyrics]

Ohhh dear lordie. This song, this song. The final chorus was pretty difficult to translate because of the simultaneous lines. I divided them into each character (Liam, Sherlock, All) for better ease of understanding, but if you plan on singing to the song while looking at lyrics, this arrangement isn't very optimal! I will rearrange them again when I have more time.

What a freaking powerful way to close Act I. The references to previous songs, how powerful William and Sherlock's voices are, and most especially what the actors do on stage! The way the song ends! You won't know unless you've seen it, and I'll refrain from mentioning it for spoilers. But I just love love love love love this song.

Also!! I'll be taking on a little break. I've been finding less and less time to translate rhghrg Hopefully things calm down and I will be back to translating again soon!!

Oh, light, shine upon this darkness

闇に光を | Yami ni hikari wo Characters: all

犯罪卿は　闇の王 貴族の命　消し去り 我ら市民の　職を奪い 命を　脅かしてゆく：おどか

犯罪卿が　殺せば 無数の　生活の灯（ひ）が消える 犯罪卿は　労働者の 命も　根絶やしにしてく

富める者は　命絶たれ：とめる rich　たたれcut off 貧しき者は　息絶えてゆく ロンドンの街の　灯が消える 闇と絶望に　飲み込まれる

大英帝国の　日が落ちる 栄華の国は　闇のなかへ…

Ahー

分かってる　リアム　分かってる… これもお前の　スコアのままに お前の破滅へ輪舞曲（ろんど）　奏でてるだけ けれどこの旋律の最後に　俺は 俺だけの音　かき鳴らしてやる

この世界を　闇で包め 闇深ければ　光はまばゆくなる 堕ちよ我が身よ　悪魔に成り果てよ：おちる　なりはてるreduce to 全ての罪を　この身に負いて

狂える悪魔は：くるえる 心潰れ果て 息絶える時を ただ願う…

リアム俺には 全てが分かる お前の苦しみ悲しみ だからリアム…

我は行く　この道の果てへ：ゆく

心惑う：まどう このさだめを避ける　のぞみを抱いて：いだいて ウィリアム　俺はこの道を ウィリアムさんに未来を ああ　この道を 心狂おしき　深き闇 ＃got chills

重荷を抱えて　生きる友よ：おもに heavy burden 深い霧を払って 街は荒れ　心引き裂かれ：さかれ cut open 闇に沈むか 望みは　消え果てるのか

世界は今　昏き闇のなか

[ALL] この闇に　光よ射せ ひと筋でも　消えぬ光を この闇に　光よ射せ 希望の調べ　消えぬ光を

[William] さあ進め 裁きへの道 ああシャーロック どうかこの命を…

[Sherlock] さだめの道は 俺が変える お前のもとに 俺はお前を…

消えぬ罪と共に この思いを抱いて

闇の果て　最後の時へ 最後の時へ

（リプライズ） この闇に　光よ射せ ひと筋でも　消えぬ光を この闇に　光よ射せ 希望の調べ　消えぬ光を

闇の果て　最後の時へ 最後の時へ

Romaji Hanzaikyou wa yami no ou Kizoku no inochi keshisari Warera shimin no shoku wo ubai Inochi wo odokashite yuku

Hanzaikyou ga koroseba Musuu no seikatsu no hi ga kieru Hanzaikyou wa roudousha no Inochi mo konzetsu yashi ni shiteku

Tomeru mono wa inochi tatare Mazushiki mono wa iki taete yuku London no machi no hi ga kieru Yami to zetsubou ni nomi komareru

Daiei teikoku no hi ga ochiru Eika no kuni wa yami no naka e

Ah

Wakatteru Liam wakatteru Kore mo omae no sukoa no mama ni Omae no hametsu e rondo kanadeteru dake Keredo kono senritsu no saigo ni wa ore wa Ore dake no oto kaki narashite yaru

Kono sekai wo yami de tsutsume Yami fukakereba hikari wa mabayuku naru Ochiyo wa ga mi yo akuma ni nari hate yo Subete no tsumi wo kono mi ni oite

Kurueru akuma wa Kokoro tsubure hate Iki taeru toki wo Tada negau

Liam ore ni wa Subete ga wakaru Omae no kurushimi kanashimi Dakara Liam….

Ware wa yuku kono michi no hate e

Kokoro madou Kono sadame wo sakeru nozomi wo idaite William ore wa kono michi wo William-san ni mirai wo Aa kono michi wo Kokoro kuruoshiki fukaki yami

Omoni wo oete ikiru tomo yo Fukai kiri wo haratte Machi wa are kokoro hiki sakare Yami ni shizumu ka Nozomi wa kie hateru no ka

Sekai wa ima ukuraki no naka

[ALL] Kono yami ni hikari yo sase Hitosuji demo kienu hikari wo Kono yami ni hikari yo sase Kibou no shirabe kienu hikari wo

[William] Saa susume Sabaki e no michi Ah Sherlock Dou ka kono inochi wo…

[Sherlock] Sadame no michi wa Ore ga kaeru Omae no moto ni Ore wa omae wo…

Kienu tsumi to tomo ni Kono omoi wo daite

Yami no hate saigo no toki e Saigo no toki e

(reprise) Kono yami ni hikari yo sase Hitosuji demo kienu hikari wo Kono yami ni hikari yo sase Kibou no shirabe kienu hikari wo

Yami no hate saigo no toki e Saigo no toki e

English The Lord of Crime, the king of darkness He kills the nobility and he steals our jobs He threatens the lives of all

If the Lord of Crime is kills a noble many more will their means to live The Lord of Crime seeks to eradicate even us lowly folk

The rich are are murdered The poor are left to waste The light of London is fading drowned by darkness and despair

The sun has fallen in the Great British Empire Such heroic splendor has fallen into darkness

Ah

I know, Liam. I know Even this is part of your musical score The rondo towards your doom But at the end of this melody is only tune, and I’ll play it loudly

Envelope this world in darkness The darker it is, the more is light dazzling Let my body rot, let this demon be reduced to nothing Let me take upon all sin

Let this mad devil’s heart be crushed to pieces I simply wish that when I draw my last breath…

Liam, I understand everything Your pain, your suffering, your loneliness That’s why, Liam…

I will go. To the end of this path

My heart wavers I cling on to my wish, that the end would not come William, I’ll keep going on this path Oh, please, let William-san see the future Oh, on this path This deep darkness that could drive one mad

My dear friend, live with this burden you carry Blow this deep mist away The town is in chaos, my heart is torn open Will you descend into darkness? Will all our wishes be for naught?

The world is steeped in darkness

[ALL] Oh, light, shine upon this darkness Please, even a sliver of light that won’t disappear Oh, light, shine upon this darkness A ray of hope, one that won’t disappear

[William] Hence, I go forth towards my judgment Oh, Sherlock Please, take this soul along with this sin that won’t go away

[Sherlock] I will change the end of this road I will come to you And I will hold these feelings close to my heart

The end of darkness, the end has come The end has come

(reprise) Oh, light, shine upon this darkness Please, even a sliver of light that won’t disappear Oh, light, shine upon this darkness A ray of hope, one that won’t disappear

The end of darkness, the end has come The end has come

[ashhearthelpsaa]

Below the cut will be a list of some of my favorite Japanese names. I like to write a lot of original characters that are based in different animes, so I thought this would be useful to have. These will be placed under a read more, as this post got quite long. There are 70 feminine names, 75 masculine names, and 31 gender neutral names. Please like or reblog this post if you found it useful. Thank you. :)

Feminine Names.

Airi.

Aina.

Amane.

Ami. / Aimi.

Anzu.

Asuna.

Aya.

Chidori.

Chiharu.

Chou.

Danuja.

Doi.

Ema.

Emica. / Emika.

Emi.

Emiko.

Etsuko.

Gina.

Hatsue. / Hatsu.

Hana.

Hanae.

Hanakao

Haruka.

Himari.

Himwari.

Hina.

Honoka.

Kairi.

Kaori.

Kanna. / Kana.

Karin.

Katsumi.

Kyoko.

Machi.

Mai.

Manae.

Mari.

Matsuri.

Mayumi.

Megumi.

Mei.

Midori.

Mika.

Mina.

Mirai.

Misa.

Misaki.

Miyah.

Miho.

Naho.

Nako.

Nami.

Nanami.

Naomi.

Reina.

Rei.

Rena.

Rika.

Sakura.

Saori.

Sarina.

Sayuri.

Seika.

Seina.

Shizuka.

Tae.

Tora.

Yuka.

Yuna.

Yurina.

Masculine Names.

Akane.

Akihito.

Akito.

Anji.

Arata.

Benjiro.

Choei.

Daihachi.

Daiji.

Daijiro.

Daisuke.

Daishiro.

Eiji.

Enzo.

Etsuji.

Genji.

Gorou.

Hajime.

Haruto.

Hatsuo.

Hideji.

Hiro.

Hiroshi.

Hiroto.

Hisaki.

Hyuga.

Judai.

Jun.

Jun'ichi.

Junpei.

Kaito.

Kakashi.

Kanji.

Kazuki.

Keitaro.

Kenji.

Ken'ichi.

Kentaro.

Kenzo.

Kiyoshi.

Koji.

Kota.

Kyo.

Masao.

Michaiki.

Mitsuhide.

Mokuba.

Naoki.

Naoe.

Renji.

Riku.

Ryo. / Ryu. / Ryou. / Ryuu.

Ryota.

Ryuuji.

Sasuke.

Satoshi.

Satoru.

Seto.

Shinji.

Shino.

Shintaro.

Soma.

Tadashi.

Taichi.

Takahashi.

Takeshi.

Taro.

Tooru.

Yota.

Yudai.

Yugi.

Yuji.

Yuma.

Yusei.

Zenji.

Gender Neutral Names.

Akari.

Akira.

Akihito.

Asuka.

Ayame.

Chiyo.

Dai.

Daichi.

Haku.

Haruhi.

Haru.

Hikaru.

Hikari.

Hinata.

Ino.

Kaeda.

Kai.

Kaoru.

Kenta.

Kita.

Minato.

Mitsuki.

Nara.

Noa.

Reiji.

Ren. / Rin.

Sato.

Shin.

Shion.

Shun.

Shuya.

Sora.

Yui.

Yuki.

[hanaerize]

[IDOLiSH7]

MEDiUM / IDOLiSH7 (Anniversary Song 2024) Kan/Rom/Eng Lyrics

- Iori

- Yamato

- Mitsuki

- Tamaki

- Sogo

- Nagi

- Riku

🎵

Let's steal the applause... do the magic trick!

Let's steal the applause... do the magic trick!

名もない Painter 暮らす傍らに心を預ける Gardener

ひっそり日々は在った

比類なき Noble

同じ空の下

交わらない運命をただ刻んでた

ある時

不思議を仕掛けるように

舞い降りた (飛行艇) -Illusionist-

観覧自由 但し... ひとつ宝を盗んでゆくと噂の

おとけ Clown 合図したら始まるは華麗なショー

Marionette に陽気な Musician

見せるまばゆい (一夜の夢)・エフェメール・

誰もが夢中 華やぐ空

人々は酔いしれて

喜びという絵になった

Oh! Magic tricks on stage

喝采とボルテージ

止まないとよめきは街で波打って

喧騒に置いて行かれた寂しさ隠す

孤独に泣いて豪奢に埋もれた目

傷負って庭よろめく背 そっと撫で生きようと筆捨てる手

歓声はるか遠い

煌めくライト花を添えて Knife 投げ 揺れる満場

光と影を胸に抱いて 街の夜は更ける

最後の願いキャンバスへとその様を描いてた

誰かの前降り立った

Wonderful to meet you

微笑うシルエット

こんな絵でもいいなら

Dear stranger

見つけてくれた君へ託すよ

おとけ Clown 挨拶して幕閉じた華麗なショー

(飛行艇) -Illusionist- は次の街へ

まばゆい夢を連れて

街ではひとつ盗まれてた とある絵が視線浴びた

孤独を慰めたその絵は 運命さえも回す

さあ、ショータイムなにが起きた

描かれた情景は...

この世全てが MEDiUM

Oh! Magic tricks on stage

喝采は誰に?

🎵

Let's steal the applause... do the magic trick!

Let's steal the applause... do the magic trick!

Na mo nai Painter kurasu katawara ni kokoro o azukeru Gardener

Hissori hibi wa atta

Hirui naki Noble

Onaji sora no shita

Majiwaranai unmei o tada kizandeta

Aru toki

Fushigi o shikakeru yō ni

Maiorita (hikōtei) -Illusionist-

Kanshō jiyū tadashi... hitotsu takara o nusunde yuku to uwasa no

Otoke Clown aizu shitara hajimaru wa karei na shō

Marionette ni yōki na Musician

Miseru mabayui (ichiya no yume) · Efemēru ·

Dare mo ga muchū hanayagu sora

Hitobito wa yoishirete

Yorokobi to iu e ni natta

Oh! Magic tricks on stage

Kassai to borutēji

Yamanai toyomeki wa machi de namiutte

Kensō ni oite ikareta sabishisa kakusu

Kodoku ni naite gōsha ni umoreta me

Kizu otte niwa yoromeku se sotto nade iki yō to fude suteru te

Kansei haruka tōi

Kirameku raito hana o soete Knife nage yureru manjō

Hikari to kage o mune ni daite machi no yoru wa fukeru

Saigo no negai kyanbasu e to sono sama o egaite ta

Dareka no mae oritata

Wonderful to meet you

Warau shiruetto

Konna e demo ī nara

Dear stranger

Mitsukete kureta kimi e takusu yo

Otoke Clown aisatsu shite maku tojita karei na shō

(Hikōtei) -Illusionist- wa tsugi no machi e

Mabayui yume o tsurete

Machi de wa hitotsu nusumareta to aru e ga shisen abita

Kodoku o nagusameta sono e wa unmei sae mo mawasu

Sā, shōtaimu nani ga okita

Egakareta jōkei wa...

Kono yo subete ga MEDiUM

Oh! Magic tricks on stage

Kassai wa dare ni?

🎵

Let's steal the applause... do the magic trick!

Let's steal the applause... do the magic trick!

An anonymous painter,

entrusting their heart to the gardener living alongside,

their days passed in silence.

A peerless noble,

under the same sky,

marking a destiny that would never intersect.

One day,

like a mystery waiting to be revealed,

a flying ship descended - the Illusionist -

A spectacle free to watch, but... rumored to steal a single treasure.

The mischievous clown signals, a start of a magnificent show,

with the marionette dancing to the lively tunes of the musician,

a dazzling display, an ephemeral dream for one night.

Everyone was captivated as the sky comes alive with splendor.

People were entranced with joy,

becoming a picture of happiness.

Oh! Magic tricks on stage,

The cheers and excitement (voltage) rise.

In the city, the buzz of the crowd never fades,

masking the loneliness left behind by the noise.

Tears flowing down in solitude, buried in luxury,

a wounded soul staggering through the garden,

gently caressing it with trembling hands, the painter abandons his brush,

as the cheers fade into the distance.

As glittering lights adorned with flowers sway,

knives are thrown in a full house.

Embracing both light and shadow,

the night in the town deepened.

A final wish is painted onto the canvas,

and there someone stood before it.

Wonderful to meet you,

a smiling silhouette.

If this kind of painting is alright,

dear stranger,

I'll entrust it to you, who found me.

The mischievous clown bids farewell, and the curtain falls on the splendid show.

The flying ship - the Illusionist - heads to the next town,

Bringing the radiant dream along.

In the town, one painting that comforted solitude was stolen and caught the eye of many.

That painting, with soothing loneliness,

had the power to even alter fate.

Now, what transpired during the showtime?

The depicted scenery...

Everything in this world is a MEDiUM.

Oh! Magic tricks on stage,

Who does the applause belong to?

[jirettaiga]

TOKIO performing Hikari no Machi on HEYx3 (2007.04.02)

[kna-knut]

Sayuri - Sore wa Shiisana Hikari no Youna / Boku Dake Ga Inai Machi (ERA...

[mangadore]

[vixvaporub]

City of Light | Hikari no Machi by Inio Asano – Chapter 7: Hectopascal 

[phosphophy11ite]

city of light / inio asano

[animemusicbrackets]

BRACKET IS HERE!!!

(Text version, with dates under the cut below)

matches will start going up on Saturday August 12th

all polls (except the final) will be 1 day long

if you can, please try to take the time to watch the videos of the EDs that you are unfamiliar with!

since there were two free spots, and I Am God Here, i have made the extremely democratic executive decision to add two endings that I really like which got submissions but didnt make the cut. These are "Yamiyo" by Eve [Dororo 2019] and "Who am I?" by (K)NoW_NAME [Dorohedoro], and they will be battling eachother in part D.

propaganda welcome :)

Tag List: round 1 round 2 round 3 quarterfinals semifinals finals third place round intermission round propaganda bracket updates matches (the actual polls, not including any reblogs)

ROUND 1

PART A (8/12 12:00pm ET)

Match 1: "Sugar Song and Bitter Step" by UNISON SQUARE GARDEN [Kekkai Sensen] {VS} "Wareta Ringo" by Risa Taneda [Shin Sekai Yori] Match 2: "Sayonara Bye Bye" by Mawatari Matsuko (JPN), Stephanie Nadolny (ENG) [Yu Yu Hakusho] {VS} "Tenchi Gaeshi" by NICO Touches the Walls [Haikyuu!!] Match 3: "Hare Hare Yukai" by Aya Hirano, Minori Chihara, Yuuko Gotou [Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu] {VS} "Shikisai" by yama [SPYxFAMILY] Match 4: "Mephisto" by QUEEN BEE [Oshi no Ko] {VS} "Hectopascal" by Yuuki Takada, Minako Kotobuki [Bloom Into You] Match 5: "Virtual Star Embryology" by Maki Kamiya [Revolutionary Girl Utena] {VS} "Zetsubou Billy" by Maximum the Hormone [Death Note] Match 6: "gravity" by Maaya Sakamoto (Composer - Yoko Kanno) [WOLF'S RAIN] {VS} "Aishiteru" by Callin' [Natsume Yuujinchou] Match 7: "Roundabout" by Yes [JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: The Animation] {VS} "RED" by Survive Said The Prophet [Banana Fish] Match 8: "Shubidubi☆Sweets Time" by Miyamoto Kanako [Precure: KiraKira Pretty Cure A La Mode] {VS} "Fight Song" by Eve [Chainsaw Man]

PART B (8/14 12:00pm ET)

Match 9: "Uso" by SID [Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood] {VS} "Stand By Me" by the peggies [Sarazanmai] Match 10: "Zzz" by Sayaka Sasaki [Nichijou] {VS} "Mashi Mashi" by NICO Touches the Walls [Haikyuu!!] Match 11: "Trust Me" by Yuya Matsushita [Durarara!!] {VS} "Nomic" by ACCAMER [I'm the Villainess, So I'm Taming the Final Boss] Match 12: "OverThink" by Fan Ka [Link Click] {VS} "aLIEz" by Sawano Hiroyuki [Aldnoah.Zero] Match 13: "Shunkan Sentimental" by SCANDAL [Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood] {VS} "Don't say 'lazy'" by Youko Hikasa [K-On!] Match 14: "You Only Live Once" by Hatano Wataru [Yuri!!! on ICE] {VS} "Prayer X" by King Gnu [Banana Fish] Match 15: "Shissou" by LAST ALLIANCE [Ouran High School Host Club] {VS} "Kimi No Shiranai" by Supercell [Bakemonogatari] Match 16: "Truth" by Ruka Yumi [Revolutionary Girl Utena] {VS} "The Real Folk Blues" by The Seatbelts feat. Mai Yamane [Cowboy Bebop]

PART C (8/16 12:00pm ET)

Match 17: "LOST IN PARADISE" by ALI feat. AKLO [Jujutsu Kaisen] {VS} "About a Voyage" by Sayuri [Boku No Hero Academia] Match 18: "Groovy!" by Kohmi Hirose [Cardcaptor Sakura] {VS} "I Want You" by Savage Garden [JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Diamond is Unbreakable] Match 19: "Refrain Boy" by ALL OFF [Mob Psycho 100] {VS} "Fuyu Biyori" by Eri Sasaki [Yuru Camp] Match 20: "In the Back Room" by syudou [Chainsaw Man] {VS} "homework never ends" by Mawatari Matsuko (JPN), Sara White (ENG) [Yu Yu Hakusho] Match 21: "Red:birthmark" by AiNA THE END [Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury] {VS} "Infinity" by Yuuri [Sk8 the Infinity] Match 22: "Reason" by Yuzu [Hunter x Hunter] {VS} "Datte Atashi no Hiro" by LiSA [Boku No Hero Academia] Match 23: "Wind" by Akeboshi [Naruto] {VS} "Memosepia" by sajou no hana [Mob Psycho 100] Match 24: "SPLASH FREE" by STYLE FIVE [Free!] {VS} "Chou Cream Funk" by Philosophy no Dance [Mashle: Magic and Muscles]

PART D (8/18 12:00pm ET)

Match 25: "Sore wa Chiisana Hikari no Youna" by Sayuri [Erased (Boku Dake Ga Inai Machi)] {VS} "Sayonara-gokko" by amazarashi [Dororo (2019)] Match 26: "Comedy" by Gen Hoshino [SPYxFAMILY] {VS} "Aoi Honoo" by ITOWOKASHI [Black Clover] Match 27: "Broken Youth" by NICO Touches the Walls [Naruto: Shippuden] {VS} "Shiki no Uta" by Minmi [Samurai Champloo] Match 28: "Magia" by Kalafina [Puella Magi Madoka Magica] {VS} "For the Love of Life" by David Sylvian [Monster] Match 29: "Torches" by Aimer [Vinland Saga] {VS} "I'm Alive" by Becca [Black Butler] Match 30: "Hyouri Ittai" by Yuzu [Hunter x Hunter] {VS} "Akatsuki" by Akiko Shikata [Yona of the Dawn] Match 31: "Fly Me to the Star" by Starlight Kuku Gumi [Shoujo Kageki Revue Starlight] {VS} "Daisy" by STEREO DIVE FOUNDATION [Kyoukai no Kanata] Match 32: "Yamiyo" by Eve [Dororo 2019] {VS} "Who am I?" by (K)NoW_NAME [Dorohedoro]

[akito-spotted]

kushakusha ni natta shinsatsuken wo motte kantan na souzou ni hibi wo tsukatte iru tanchou na fuukei ni futo nemuku natte kaisou ressha ni yurare ugoite iru

kanban no shoumei ga ushirometaku natte me wo otoshita saki de waratte ita touri wo nukete rojiura no hou de kuttaku mo naku waratte ita

eiga no jouei wa tou ni owatte iru shisseki no kioku ga yake ni hibiku kara dekireba touku ni ikanai de kure dekiru nara itaku shinai de

kamawanai de nai de hanarete ite atsureki ni kyutto me wo tsumutte mukuwanai de nai de hanashi wo shite madogoshi ni jitto me wo awasete

taihai ni kureta gekijou no sumi de nemuranakatta hazu ga nemutte iru arabesuku ni wa sawarenakattan da hi ga tsuita you ni machi ga hikatta

mutonjaku na ano ko ga kasa o sashitara sore de sukuwareru kurai tanjun desho hidarite no yubiwa migite ni kakushite tomadotteru fuu ni shiteta

sagasanai de nai de itsu no manika kieta koto ni kizuku kyori naraba yurusanai de nai de saisho dake wa kanashiku mo nai hazu ni shitakute

kamawanai de nai de hanarete ite atsureki ni kyutto me wo tsumutte mukuwanai de nai de hanashi wo shite madogoshi ni jitto me wo awasete

nemuranai de nai de kotoba ni shite terashita hikari ni me wo hosomete warawanai de nai de kimi ni saita shuuchaku yo, boku wo nomikonde kure

[fzzr]

Interviews with Monster Girls and Approaching Disability

Content Advisory: I don't know what I'm doing here when it comes to talking about disability, so I'll probably say something stupid. Sorry in advance, all I can promise to do is my best. Likewise as a straight cis man I can't talk about the Gender Stuff from lived experience, so my views will necessarily be from outside. Be aware that there's gender stuff with an eye to how women are treated in general.

Demi-chan wa Kataritai (Interviews with Monster Girls, henceforth "Demi-chan") is a 2017 anime about a high school biology teacher teaching and learning from his half-human half-monster "ajin" or "demi" students about facing social and practical difficulties in life due to the realities of one's body. Or to put it more simply, it's about disability, through the lens of monster girls.

The Vampire - Medical Disability

Vampires need no introduction. Creature of the night, lives on blood, arguably the most iconic horror monster. In Demi-chan, vampirism is basically diabetes, anemia, albinism, and a collection of other quirks all rolled into one. Hikari Takanashi keeps her government-issued blood in a personal refrigerator. She needs to take extra precautions to protect her skin and eyes from the sun and is sensitive to hot weather.

Hikari is supported without question or resentment by her family. When the urge to bite people comes up, her sister allows Hikari to gnaw on her arm a bit. Hikari is brilliantly blonde, so her father bleaches his hair a bit to make her stand out less. Her mother supports the family, and the extra expense involved in raising a half-vampire isn't even a topic of discussion.

In another time Hikari would have been treated like, well... a vampire. Thanks to a more understanding public and advances in technology, she's just like any other girl.

The Dullahan - Physical Disability

A dullahan is a person with a detached but otherwise perfectly functional head (think "Headless Horseman"). In Demi-chan, they represent physical disability. Kyouko Machi's moment to moment life is defined by having to carry her head with her everywhere. She's essentially missing an arm any time she's walking around. It takes Hikari pointing it out for anyone else to realize making her carry the school-standard bag is dangerous, prompting the school to give her special permission to use a backpack. She has a custom harness to hold her head at chest level so she can use both hands while eating. She typically rests her head on a pillow when seated, and has to use her arms to physically point her head at people when listening or speaking.

Among the three demi students, Kyouko gets the most attention as more of a specimen than a person. Whether it's wanting to touch the flame where her neck would be or just asking sometimes intrusive questions, it's clear that people, even the most well-intentioned, are less respectful of her bodily autonomy than they could or should be. Other times people will deliberately avoid topics that would require them to acknowledge her physical limitations as though they don't exist.

Dullahans may be more accommodated than they were in the past, but the world is still structured on the assumption that they don't exist. Despite being an afterthought to the built environment, Kyouko is just like any other girl.

The Yuki-onna - Psychological Disability

A yuki-onna, or snow woman, is a person who emits physical cold when under emotional strain. Yuki Kusakabe is at a new school in a new town and her powers are doing new things. Her anxiety and fear of becoming too close to others leaves her socially isolated. Her resulting non-participation shows some of the complexity of psychological disability - it doesn't mean you physically can't do things, but the collective actions of those around you means you are excluded nonetheless.

Yuki is seemingly shy not because she doesn't like other people, but because she is afraid that if she gets upset around someone the cold she emanates will physically harm them. It's not a stretch to understand that as representing the fear one may have that opening up about your problems burdens others, so isolation is preferable. A bit of practical examination eventually shows that her cold doesn't hurt anyone - herself or others. This doesn't suddenly cure her anxiety, of course. She just becomes more willing to open up and hang out with people.

This one doesn't land as well as the others, because it seems to imply that you just need a good few friends to eventually have people get you and then you will be fine. Additionally, her nature as a yuki-onna means she is also easily overheated in hot weather, which is one thing that brings her together with the other demis. I don't think that necessarily is part of the allegory, but if it is it's saying it's not healthy for her to avoid uncomfortable feelings (cold) altogether.

Society expects us to keep unsightly emotions out of the view of the public. Yuki can't hide hers, but her peers come to realize that under the anxiety she's just like any other girl.

The Succubus - Being a Woman

Ok, this is the spicy one. The fourth demi in the show is teacher Sakie Satou, a succubus. In Demi-chan a succubus is a woman who has a supernaturally compelling erotic effect on anyone who could be attracted to her. (They give gay men as an explicit example of people immune to succubus charm.) In parallel with the three students, we have to look at her demi nature as a form of disability as well. The show is very clear that the only functional difference between Sakie and any other woman is the magnitude and range of her attractiveness.

Just as much as the other demis, her life is shaped by this fact about how she was born. She wears loose clothes that cover her whole body beyond hands and head at all times in public. She is hyperaware of her surroundings at school so that she doesn't bump into a male student and need to deal with the results. She takes the first train in the morning and last train in the evening for the same reason. She even has to live in a detached home (not an apartment) because when she's asleep she leaks erotic dreams. Her yearning for romance is stifled by the worry that she will never be able to tell if someone really likes her or just her succubus charm.

Society has not moved very far to make room for Sakie. The flashback scene from her school days where she makes use of martial arts and social intimidation to reverse a dangerous situation is played for comedy, but left implied is how differently it could have gone. Succubi are considered the most dangerous ajin by the government. Cops regularly check on them to make sure they're not deliberately causing issues by using their charm to provoke an assault. There is zero consideration that using your charm is not a crime, committing assault is. The agent in charge of Sakie treats her almost like a daughter. One imagines that if she wasn't one of the "well-behaved" ones, that parental relationship would be far more punitive.

Maybe someday the world will advance and Sakie won't have to tiptoe through each day for fear of one misstep ruining her life. For now, she's just like any other woman.

The Outsider

Tetsuo Takahashi is none of the things the various demis are. Indeed, at first he sees them primarily as a subject of biological and anthropological curiosity. Sometimes he's making genuine discoveries, but other times he's learning things about the demis that they have always known. In one telling moment, Tetsuo gives Hikari a long speech about the things he's "figured out" about what a vampire needs to do to protect themselves when outside during the summer. Hikari responds by asking him how many years he thinks she's been a vampire.

It's Tetsuo's relationship with Sakie that makes him stand out. Multiple times during the show he is exposed to her succubus charm, either due to physical contact or her dropping her overly modest style around him. The society around them would seem to accept that if that happens a man is allowed to turn into a lust goblin and it's not his fault if he does. Tetsuo does so such thing. This isn't because he's not effected by the charm, but because that's not how you act with other people, no matter how erotic you find them.

Conclusion

Interviews with Monster Girls says that disability isn't a trait of a person or a group of people. Disability is people - individually and collectively - choosing to act in a way that means some people are less worthy of participation in society than others because including them would be inconvenient. It also doesn't settle for "well I'm not getting in their way" as an excuse. Inclusion isn't just removing barriers, it's also reaching out and actively bringing everyone along, together.

Final Words

This one isn't really a review, so I'll skip the usual scores and comparisons. However, I do want to note that the show itself has some problems I didn't get in to, like how a significant portion of it is a grown man (a teacher, not a doctor) having teenage girls in his closed office doing sometimes physical examinations of them. Don't go in expecting something uncomplicatedly enlightened, there's still some Anime Bullshit to be found.

[morimyulyrics]

The little bridge before the final chorus is something I look forward to with every new opus. In Op2, it was Irene and Mycroft. In Op3, it was old man Jack, Patterson, Arterton, and Milverton. In Op4, it was Mary, Whiteley and Milverton. And finally, in Op. 5... it's Team Sherlock and Team Moriarty. It's just soooooo good. It makes me go: This is it! The culmination of everything.

Main Theme Op.5

Characters: entire cast

Kanji

この地に　悪魔が棲むのなら この地に謎が蠢くなら すべてを　露わに

神が創るこの世 人が地獄にした ならば我は糺す この身、悪となりて

「地獄はもぬけの殻だ　すべての悪魔は、ここにいる」

Ah　Ah

血のごとき　罪負いて　向かうは彼方 この深き闇の果てに

霧の街　夜の国　幾重もの謎 暴くこの知にかけて

謎の先に　ひそむ真実 糸を手繰りあてて（暴け　君は　光）

地獄に響く　闇と光の 旋律　目覚めよ　まことを見よ

このロンドンを　闇が包む 闇の化身が ここにあらわに 霧の彼方

いまさだめの 時は来たれり 深き闇の果て

そこにあるは　希みか　破滅か

この地に 悪魔が棲むのなら この地に謎が蠢くなら すべてを暴きて 闇より暗き闇で　この世界照らせ

Romaji

Kono chi ni akuma ga sumu no nara Kono chi ni nazo ga ugomeku nara Subete wo arawa ni

Kami ga tsukuru kono yo Hito ga jigoku ni shita Naraba ware wa tadasu Kono mi aku to narite

Ah

Chi no gotoki tsumi oite　Mukau wa kanata Kono fukaki yami no hate ni

Kiri no machi yoru no kuni　Ikue mo no nazo Abaku kono chi ni kakete

Nazo no saki ni hisomu shinjitsu Ito wo taguri atete (Abake kimi ga hikari)

Jigoku ni hibiku yami to hikari no Senritsu Mezameyo makoto wo miyo

Kono London wo yami ga tsutsumu Yami no kashin ga Koko ni arawa ni Kiri no kanata

Ima sadame no Toki wa kitareri Fukaki yami no hate

Soko ni aru wa nozomi ka hametsu ka

Kono chi ni akuma ga sumu no nara Kono chi ni nazo ga ugomeku nara Subete wo abakite Yami yori kuraki yami de Kono sekai terase

English

Should devils live in this world Should mysteries riddle this world Let everything be exposed

[Fred] This world god has made [Fred and Moran] was turned to hell by people We shall then make it right By becoming evil itself

William: Hell is empty. All the devils are here.

Ah

[William] Taking on sin as if it were blood, I’m headed to the horizon To the edge of this deep darkness

[Sherlock] In town of mist, this country of darkness, a mystery with infinite layers And I will uncover them, with the use of my brain

The truth lying behind all the mysteries

[Sherlock] I will pull this thread and seek you [William] The one to divulge me will be you, the light

[Sherliam] A melody of light and darkness, reverberating in hell Wake up, and open your eyes to the truth

[Mycroft] London is shrouded by darkness [Team Sherlock] The personification of darkness has come upon us When the mist clears… [Team Moriarty] The time of judgment has finally come upon us At the end of this deep darkness…

Awaits all our wishes, or is it destruction?

Should devils live in this world Should mysteries riddle this world Expose everything In this dark world, darker than darkness itself May light shine upon