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ptergwen · 3 years

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hi ma’am, it’s the mj wh*re anon! 🥰 i know last time i requested some jealous/overprotective!mj, but what about “flustered mj who only wanted some coffee but the barista is TOO cute and she doesn’t know what talking or coffee is?” 😩

sugar, cuz you’re sweet

w/c: 1.1k

warnings: peter and ned are annoying, cussing

a/n: i love how that’s what we’re calling you 😭 and this is adorable thank you <3

michelle jones is the most honest, real, never afraid to speak her mind type girl in all of new york city. she knows it. everyone does. don’t get into a debate with her because you’ll lose, no matter the subject. she never concludes an interaction without a few snide remarks. they’re smarter than whatever you had to say.

the point is, mj is unapologetically herself in every situation and at all times. or so she thought.

peter and ned are making her order their coffees. they’re supposed to take turns, peter being all about equality in the group and the golden rule and blah blah blah. it reminds mj very much of somebody’s kindergarten teacher. she’s always found a way out of ordering because she’s mj. clever, persuasive mj. she can talk her way out of anything.

except for today when peter catches on. her excuse was lame. “i need to put down my backpack.” but, hey. you try fooling the only two people smarter than her. you’ll run out of ideas eventually. peter is pouty as he tells her that, “mj, it’s not fair! you haven’t gone up one time. how would you like it if-“ she has to interrupt him before she gets a speech.

“alright, alright, mother teresa. i’ll get the freaking drinks,” mj groans and kicks her chair back. peter smiles smugly, ned giving him a pat on the shoulder. “thanks. do you know what we want?” she blows at a piece of hair covering her eye. “you losers get the same things every time.” not bothering to push in her chair, she slumps over to the line.

ned yells, “don’t forget the whipped cream!” at her. that makes mj let out the longest sigh of her life. she very rarely does favors for other people. if you’re lucky enough to be one of them, it means she really loves you... or whatever.

mj waits on line while peter and ned get into a discussion about their nerd movies. her turn is next at least. she’s all prepared to grumble the order at the poor cashier, then you call her up.

“i can help whoever’s next,” you chirp, leaning over to see the group. your eyes land on mj. with a grin, you nod at her. the permanent scowl on her lips disappears. she takes a few steps up to you, feeling small even though she’s far from it. she finds herself thinking fuck, she’s pretty as you point at her torso.

“wait, i love your shirt,” you compliment and sound completely genuine about it. it’s mj’s favorite, her joan of arc one. a hint of a smile graces her face. “thanks.” her voice comes out much quieter than she intended it to. she didn’t know she was capable of being so... shy.

you tilt your head to the side and look down at the register. you’re still smiling. “no problem. what can i get you?” mj doesn’t hear a word you say. she’s entirely captivated by you, whoever you are. she notices pins with band logos on your shirt, ones she listens to. the probably homemade jewelry around your wrists. most importantly, your name tag. she’ll remember it.

mj doesn’t do the whole crush thing, not really. you just seem so chill and like you’d have a lot in common. also, you’re so pretty.

“do you know what you want?” you tap your nails against the register buttons. “i can suggest something, if that’s cool.” “um, i think so. the... the...” she can’t for the life of her remember what the hell peter and ned wanted. her face falls at that. sensing her nerves, you start punching things in on the register.

“i’ll surprise you. i’m good with those.” mj notices the corners of your lips turn up slightly. into a smirk. are you flirting? “ah, thank you. i’m, uh, not sure why i’m being so weird,” she laughs out. she’s very sure why. “you’re fine,” you snicker back and look up at her again. “just one drink?” “three,” mj quickly replies.

she rocks back and forth on her feet, you finishing up the order. “they’re on the house, by the way. they should be done soon,” you shrug the statement off. ok, you’re definitely flirting. “woah, thank you. can i give you a tip?” mj tucks the same piece of hair from earlier behind her ear. your eyes lock with her sparkling ones.

“nah, you don’t need to. just your name.” you’ve been waiting to get to this part. she’s not far behind you. “mj,” she speaks with the most certainty since you two began talking. “mj,” you murmur to yourself and punch it in. “you’re all good, mj. enjoy your drinks.” you give her a final heart racing smile. she really doesn’t want to go yet, but she has no choice.

returning the smile, mj waves at you. “bye.” she leaves the counter then, and you watch her go before calling up the next customer.

the drinks are done about five minutes later. mj has never been so excited to chug down a random liquid. that reminds her, she has no idea what you chose.

for the other two drinks, you made them your most popular. they’re larges, too. you decided on a plain black coffee with an obscene amount of sugar packets for mj. there’s actually a good reason behind it. you felt like she’s into the classics, and you aren’t wrong one bit. you left a note for her on the side of the cup.

‘lots of sugar, cuz you’re sweet ;) lol i’m bad at this but i liked talking to u, come back soon!’

mj giggles, literally giggles as she reads what you wrote. she should’ve ordered here a long ass time ago.

she’s in her happy place when she brings the tray back to the table, ned pursing his lips at her. “what’s with the face?” he comments on her dazed out look. peter is about to complain that she got their drinks wrong, but mj answers first. “the barista, she was cute and gave me the drinks for free. i think i like her.” she bites her lip to hold back yet another smile.

peter happily pulls one of the drinks from the tray, no longer concerned with its content. it’s not often mj is like this. he’ll bug her another time. “that’s awesome, mj. did you get her name?” he opens up one of the straws mj throws on the table. “y/n,” she sighs out in content. ned’s eyes go wide. “dude, y/n? she asked about you last time.”

and he didn’t think to tell her that? the part she mainly focuses on though, is that you noticed her. you wanted to meet her. this could actually go somewhere.

“you know what?” mj looks between peter and ned while ripping open one of her many sugar packets. “i’ll be the official drink orderer from now on.”

#michelle jones #michelle jones x reader #mj x reader #peter parker #peter parker fluff #peter parker imagine #spiderman #marvel #tom holland #tom holland fluff

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popculturebuffet · 4 years

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The Casagrandes Reviews: Operation Dad

In my first look at The Casagrandes, We meet Ronnie Anne and Bobby’s dad Arturo as Ronnie tries to get him to start working in the city to be closer to them.. and when a genuine honest appeal dosen’t work, shenanigans will have to do. Dad stuff under the cut.

This is one i’ve had in the works since my labor day catchup binge of shows, but kept getting pushed back either due to regular coverage or specifically timed things like the bi visalblity day review of “What Was Missing. And with Halloween next month, my time to cover this is running out a bit and I feel it’s a great place to start covering this show so, pitter patter. The Casagrandes didn’t really hook me in at first: It did have two things going for it: An intresting premise A blended family coming together, with our heroine and her big bro being fish out of water in a new family situation. Wheras with the Loud House Lincoln, and by extension most of his sisters, is used to how his house runs, knows the score and knows how to manuvre around it, Ronnie Anne was being dropped into a new situation, with people she KNEW, but only likely from seeing them breifly. It’s one thing to see your cousin once or twice a year, as I did with mine at that age, it’s another to live with them. It had a lot of potential. The other thing was Bobby Santiago, Ronnie Anne’s brother, and one of my faviorite characters across both shows, an endlessly nice guy who while suffering from a terminal case of dumbass, is utterly likeable, helped by his VA Carlos PenaVega, with the spinoff and i’ts build up only fleshing him out more by giving him his job at the Mercado, and showing he has serious buisness acumen in addition to his many other talents.

But what made me wary was the lead: Ronnie Anne didn’t get the best intro on the loud house. You know this, I know this. We all know this. No sense beating around the bush: She was a bully, who had a crush on lincoln and masked it by pummeling him. And this was seen as okay by the show which isn’t as suprising in hindsight as Chris Savino clearly has messed up views about women and harassment, and is thankfully no longer part of this. She did get slightly better once she actually showed up, getting genuine chemstiry with Lincoln and being shown underneath the bully exteriror was a pretty nice kid who shared his intress. Granted it wasn’t perfect as the show madei t clear he was terrified of her, but it did at least also make it clear he no longer had a reason to be, and while she’d prank her boyfriend, or assits his sister during her dark time once a year in doing it, and if your wondering if i’m ever going to watch or cover the april fools episodes .. yeah i’m just waiting you know.. for april fools.

My point is it was kinda mixed and their solution was to soften her up a bit but also act like she and LIncoln weren’t intrested in each other all of a sudden instead of you know, dealing with her past actions and having her make up for them. It was sloppy is what i’m saying and the character while not bad wasn’t in the best positoin to tkae the reigns of her own show. They did add some intresting depth with the move though, showing that Ronnie Anne and Bobby were often on their own, and that Maria moved them to the casagrande household simply because she felt her daughter would be happier NOT having to be the strong one or take care of herself all the time and actually have someone look out for her instead. It was a good emotional reason for hte move and both casagrandes showed up ocasoinally, mostly Bobbi whose still with Lori to this day as seen in the season 5 premiere. It was an okay foundatoin but it would depend on what they did with her character.. and i’m glad to say.. they made it work. The show still has rough edges, mostly having the same problem ducktales and the loud house itself had during season 1 of juggling such a large cast: Most of them outside of Ronnie Anen and Bobby have only gotten 1 episode, and even then CJ feels underutlized despite being amazing, while the adults outside the grandparents feel underutlized. Buuut the show is funny, intresting, has good pacing and unlike the loud house, having already learned that lesson, while Ronnie Anne does get more episodes than the rest of the family, it does feel more like an ensemble show and the focus on her feels less like the show not knowing what it has and more like easing the viewers into the rest of the cast by using her as a viewpoint. Ronnie herself is better, the bully aspects gone. She can still take care of herself, and is still fairly indpentent and clever, but she’s got a sharp sense of humor and a clear love of her family and the fish out of water aspect I hoped for, while not used a ton, still comes up in intresting ways. Overall i’d say the show is off to a good start.. and it has Melissa Joan Heart and Ken Jeong as a married couple and let’s Ken play a diffrent role for once: A dorky, kind dad instaed of any degree of lunatic. That being said given his character her’s last name is Chang, I can’t help but think this and community are in the same universe and that the Changs have just had to put up with whatever insane phase Senor Chang was going througha t the time every time he visted. I mean i’d love to hear Sid tell ronnie anne the time her uncle came over in a napoleon outfit and revaled he’d taken over his community college with the help of a bunch of children. But i’m getting off topic, I gots an episdoe to cover and out of the ones I watched this felt both like a great re-introduction into the cast and was easily one fo the best with a great emotional core and great jokes and LOTS to dig into. So i’ve jawjacked enough, pitter pater. Again!

It’s with this episode we properly meet Arturo Santiago, Ronnie Anne and Bobby’s father, Maria’s ex, and owner of one hell of a beard. Ronnie mentioned him back in friended aka the pilot because fuck that airing structure but not the time or place for that moving on.

We see he video chats his daughter once a day, though today she made hte mistake of doing so on a crowded subway while with her best friend and future wife Sid. NOW we can talk about Sid. Sid was introduced in Friended! over on the loud houd house as part of that mini arc I keep yelling about and will again and again. Sid is Ronnie Anne’s clyde: A best friend whose there as her sidekick, emotoinal support and resident goofus, being a bit of a weirdo and given i’m a giant ass weirdo, you can see why I like her/want to keep her safe from the nightmare that is at last half this fandom. Plus she and ronnie anne are adorable together and have more chemstiry than she and lincoln did.. thoguh the two do have OT3 energy together in his one episode, but that’s for another time.

Anyways as Sid helps her rangle wifi by them by doing the mecha shiva we soon find out Arturo is coming home! Home lord he’s been off in Peru for too longggg. Point is Ronnie Anne is excited, Bobby is excited, everyone’s excited except for Hector who hates him.. and honestly I can see why the contrast. For everyone else, Arturo is a charming, friendly guy who genuinely loves his kids and only is away from them because he has a lot of important work to do and even with that is still an active part of their lives. Buuuut Hector likely sees it diffrently and is likely homing in more on the fact Arturo is barely there in person for his kids and left Maria to do all the raising them by herself, with her own demanding job. It’s not a black and white situation is what i’m saying and.. I genuinely love that. It’s a complex thing to deal with: A parent who isn’t there for his kids but it’s hard to say if he’s being selfish or not. He’s not david from roseanne doing this so he can feel good about not wanting to deal with being a father or the death of his brother, Arturo genuinely just wants to help those who need him, even if he has to sacrifice a lot to do it. Ronnie Anne naturally wants him to move here though and convince him during his visit, and her plan nicely shows off the duality of her charcter: She’s clever and can easily think things through, as his originzation has it’s home office in Great Lakes City so he could still help those in need, just more from the organizational end, as well as i’m assuming GLC’s own homeless and needy. But she also has an 11 year olds understading of complex issues and thus thinks the easiest way to convince him is to take him on a fun daddy daughter day that will make him love the city. Bobby is less optimistic about the plan though.. and that’s because he’s been through this with Arturo already. Granted his job for him was at weenier on a stick because it’s bobby, the boy is a peach of a human being but has the plkanning skills and common sense of a basset hound on qualudes. He just sugest she enjoy the time. And this says a lot about BOBBY too: He’s used to his dad being out of his life, he’s probably been gone for most of it and while he loves him, he’s had ot get used to the fact he’s probably never going to be regularly in his life and while he understands why his sister’s trying this he wants to spare her the pain he went through. It’s interactions like this that to me show the series at it’s best and what it could be: deeper character interactions that really let the characters and voice cast shine, that still mix well with the usual nonsense. Arturo arrives and everyone loves him.. and again it’s easy to see why: he’s kind, friendly and to the kids, he’s their cool uncle who lives in another country and as someone with one of those, It does feel neat. Hell he was my cool uncle when he just lived in chicago or seattle, but somehow he had to top those by moving to fricking ireland. So I get where they come from and really relate to it.. I mean I met mine in high school, my family tree is complicated, but still. So while everyone but Hector is happily remeetinmg their uncle Maria shows up. And it’s awkward, the two not knowing how to greet each other, but it’s very obvious Maria and Arturo are on good terms, it’s just hard when theres so much history there. Speaking of Maria let’s talk about her since this is one of her only scene’s this episode. Maria is one of my faviorites. She isn’t used a ton, but this is more excusable than it is with the Casagrande parents, as the whole point of Maria uprooting her kids to Great Lakes City was to give them company and someone to take care of them while Maria worked the long and varied hours of being a nurse. She’s a good parent, who just picked a rough career, and made the hard decision to uproot her kids, not for her sake, as it can’t be easy living with both your elderly parents, your sister and her husband not to mention 5 kids, a giant adorable pupper and an obnoxious parrot, but so they’d be happy.. which given Ronnie Anne went from having no friends and largely having to be the rock in the house, to having a sizeable friend group plus her cousins, as well as generally being happy while Bobby went from bouncing from job to job to running the family buisness and planning to expand it when he gets older. She’s a good gentle person who still makes time for her kids, and I wish we saw more of her with her spotlight episode, which was about Ronnie Anne trying to spend more time with her, being one of my faviorites so far. I also like the fact that for once in a cartoon a parent with a time sink of a career isn’t demonized for trying to put food on the table and rather than just quit or have a mean boss or the usual cliches, Maria just found a way her kids wouldn’t be alone. She’s awesome. Ronnie Anne first tries showing him how great the city is with home cooking and a warm bed, but the first while nice is something he still gets, and the latter in a nice touch is just.. too soft for him. Ronnie meant well, but understadably he’s just not used to it and makes a cot under the stars instead.. he’s not trying to be ungreatful, he’s just sued to it.

Anyways Ronnie indeed takes him on a montage, with some cab headbonks beacause why use an uber that’s cheeper and safer huh? Anyways our father and daughter do have a montage, and hector gets beaten up by a luchadore because this promotion apparently dosen’t get not to attack the crowd. They really need to stop booking that guy.

Ending on our article image, which is really sweet and a real beautiful shot, Ronnie Anne finally gets to her Ronnie Plan. First Arturo cycles through two diffrent assumptions about what she’s asking him about. He first thinks she’s about to tell him about a special boy or girl in his life, his exact words. He backspaces to include that. She says no which.. I guess okay you have other things in mind but you can’t put off him meeting Sid forever. That aside I do think it’s a good indication Ronnie Anne might be bi, and both her parents just easily accepted it which is great. I could be reading too much into this, and I probably am, but I’ve thought I was before on nickeodeon and look how legend of korra ended.

The next is just hilarious as Arturo tries to let her down gently that he’s not getting back with maria which Ronnie Anne agrees with and was not remotely her point, but I do like as it shows their well and truly done, and it’s nice to see that sort of dynamic with a divorced couple in fiction where it’s not because of lingering sexual tension or anything, just that their apart but have kids to think about and presumibly the split was amicable if again still awkward. Finally Ronnie asks him.. but he gently refuses, since the people he helped need him as much as he wants to stay.. but part of what makes Arturo likeable, especially since he’s in the REALLY throny situation of not being in his kid’s lives in person despite having the opprountiy now, is that he genuinely tries to compromoise, saying he’ll try to up the calls to two a day, and he’ll visit more often. Ronnie Anne sadly and half heartdly says it’s fine and walks off. So Ronnie Anne vents to that girlfriend she apparently dosen’t have that he cares more about her patients than him and Sid sidgests that part of that is simple: He dosen’t feel she and bobby need him since, as I pointed out earlier, their doing better than ever. So Ronnie Anne intitates a second Ronnie Plan: to convince him she’s a troubled youth and get him to stay and reasssmbles her cousins to help. Before we move onto this plan that’s totally a good idea and not a borderline Zach Morris evil scheme, let’s talk about those cousins real quick. Quick fire: CJ is really great, a sweet kid and I wish they’d use him more and generally do nto get why they don’t, Carlota is fine but not all that defined at this point but Alexa PenaVega tries.. and why yes it is kinda weird Carlos PenaVega’s wife and the former star of spy kids is playing his sister. And Carl.. I don’t likes him. I just don’t. He did give me a really good episode, which we’ll be covering next month, but he’s just a little asshole with out the charm of fellow little asshole Louie Duck, who alsos cams people but actually gets consqeunces more often.

That quickfire done Carl does a forgery which depsite me being eh on him, clearly, is a funny bit, to make Ronnie Anne look like she’s failing, but that fails as you’d expect when he can help her with that from Peru. So it’s on to the actual plan: Which really boils down to this.

I mean.. that’s essentially the plan convince him she’s running with a dangerous crowd and is breaking bad, dressing up in punk clothes and making a scene at breakfast. She also gets a really neat new haircut, similar to luna’s but spiky which.. why isn’t this her normal hair? and why dosen’t she at least keep the cool leather jacket? I always get annoyed when a character’s temporary costume change is even better than their default design and htey fail to realize it but whatever. IT starts to work a little but clearly a breakfast tauntrum won’t be enough so Ronnie Anne enlists Sid.. who is frightend,d osen’t recognize her and dosen’t want to get shoved into a locker. .. who hurt you.. tell me.. I have a box to deliver. Just let me pop a quick H on there real quick.

Anyways, once Sid realizes “Oh that’s not a bully come to shove me in a locker that’s just my girlfriend in the middle of a zack morris grade elabroate manipulative scheme”, which happens once a week their fine, she comes up with one last plan: Have her friends, who are neat but need more filling out, dress up like punks bullying her friend sameer. This plan.. makes no sense. For one she was already a bully back home.. granted it was because she liked the kid, which no just no, but it’s heavily implied she did the same to the rest of the lincrew too. .which aside from Rusty isn’t a good look. I mean his face is punchable and he mocked hte idea of them being together despite next season hitting on Lincoln’s sisters, there’s a 1:1 chance he hit on her and she shoved him in a locker as is the natural response to anyone getting asked out by that goober. No matter how hard the show tries to pretend that didn’t happen it did. If her bullying kids didn’t get him to move home back in royal woods it won’t work now.

So they had behind the fish market for their plan, Arturo is directed there.. and sees through it. I mean she’s probably sent him pictures of her friends, he knows who they are and no amount of costumes is going to fix that. I mean you really only changed Nikki’s hair. Why not just have a dance fight. i’m legitly asking dance fights are rad and this reminds me of the venture bros episode where hank, to impress his date, has billy and white pretend to be a street gang to impress his date. Just do that for sid instead of trying to gaslight your dad into staying. But no while he pulls her into the car, Arturo knows this was a stunt and asks why. When Ronnie Anne tearfully reveals she just wanted him to stay.. he hugs his child.. and agrees. He realizes that if she’s willing to go to these lengths to get him to stay, she must REALLY miss her papa. So he plans to call the office to transfer. But then while helping her dad unpack, Ronnie Anne finds something and we get another emotional scene: Ronnie Anne finds the letters he got from the various kids he’s helped, and is moved to tears. Props to Izabella Alvarez for her performance here as she reads the letter and realizes just what her dad’s work does ,and why it means so much to him. He truly helps those who need it and she decides she can’t take that awy from it: Sure her dad won’t be around.. but other kids need her dad more. She has a big family, she misses her dad.. but she can live without her dad. They need a doctor.

So Arutro heads out with a tearful goodbye and Ronnie Anne leaves him a scrapbook of their time together. We then cut to the Santiago sibs playing cards, and being sad about their dad and all that.. when Arturo calls.. and then shows up in person. He took the Headquarters job after all, though a close friend of his we met earlier in the episode but I ddin’t mention will be taking over in Peru, and from earlier clearly wanted to get back out in the field, so it all works out. And it’s a nice character moment; Arturo realizes while his work is important, and as mentioned he does make sure a compient replacment will continue it.. his family can be too and it’s okay to think of himself and them for once. As I said he’ll still be able to help just in a diffrent way and there are probably needy kids who need him here too, if not in the same ways obviously as a doctors without borders type project. So eveyrone shares a group hug and even Hector bursts into tears. And Maria comes in wondering what she missed whiel Sergio asks who wants to tell her. oh sergio.. why didn’t you stay away when you ran away in a future episode. Final Thoughts: Not much more to say. It’s a well done episode with high emotinal stakes, great acting and some great jokes I didn’t get to, and while the plot of “Make absent parent stay by pretending things are bad’ isn’t new, it’s done well enough here. Overall just a really good episode that shows what this show can do and why it’s unique family setup makes for intresting stories a lot of shows can’t tell, and validates this spinoffs existnace. The episode also really fleshes out Ronnie Anne’s character, and givne Arutro’s been gone since the divorce if not longer, it’s resonable to supsect her earlier bullying might have been lashing out at her parents divorce. It’s just good stuff. Keep an eye peeeld to this blog for my regular loud house and ducktales coverage , and some more casagrandes this october. ANd until then, Go Team Venture!

#the casagrandes #ronnie anne santiago #arturo santiago #bobby santiago #maria santiago #sid chang #cj casagrande #carl casagrande #carlota casagrande #the loud house #reviews #animation

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allthefilmsiveseenforfree · 4 years

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Harley Quinn: Birds of Prey

I know next to nothing about Harley Quinn. I didn’t really grow up with Batman: The Animated Series, and I certainly didn’t see Suicide Squad because I don’t hate myself but I DO hate method actors who use playing dark and disturbed characters as an excuse to treat the real people around them like shit! But I knew from the first trailer that I would probably be on board with this version of Joker’s ex-partner in crime because Margot Robbie is just a goddamn delight and because it’s about a diverse group of women just like...kicking ass, dude. Also a lot of the time they’re wearing leather and spandex. I’M ONLY HUMAN. Given Harley’s somewhat checkered past in terms of empowering characterization, I was certainly curious about which version we would ultimately get here. Would this be the lovesick domestic violence victim, little more than the Joker’s sidekick? Would this be the unhinged sociopath, just as hellbent on violence and chaos as her boyfriend? Would this be the silly, sassy femme fatale who does what she wants and just has a ton of fun doing it? Well...

A mix of all three, really, and in trying to have their cake and eat it too, DC has managed to create a version of Harley Quinn that’s nuanced, complicated, and the kind of character that could anchor her own prestige cable drama for 5 seasons if women were allowed to do that. The basic plot is simple: Harley Quinn (Margot Robbie) and the Joker have broken up, and without his protection, there are a BUNCH of people in Gotham City who really want her dead, but none more than Roman Sionis (Ewan McGregor). Meanwhile, Roman’s trying to get his hands on this really big diamond that’s been stolen by a scrappy lil pickpocket named Cassandra Cain (Ella Jay Basco, who holds her own against these other powerhouse actresses with aplomb). Basically everyone else in the movie is either trying to find Harley or find Cassandra and by the time they all come together in the last act of the movie, everyone’s just trying to prevent Roman from blowing everyone the fuck up.

Some thoughts:

First of all, I had a great fucking time. The colors, the chaotic energy, the pure FUN of the whole thing is intoxicating. Cathy Yan’s direction and Christina Hodson’s rollicking good time of a script combine to form something that’s just a bomb ass time at the movies.

I feel like it goes without saying, but Margot Robbie owns every second that she’s on screen. She’s equal parts merry and mayhem, and she does bad things sometimes. But you still root for her, you can’t help it. Robbie is magnetic - you cannot take your eyes off her, even if you want to, and she imbues Harley with so much pathos and growth in spite of her less than savory actions that she could kick both Don Draper and Walter White’s ass no problem.

Ewan McGregor’s American accent isn’t great, but honestly, he’s having a great fucking time too so I don’t mind it so much.

The costuming is FANTASTIC. I am shouting out the film’s costume designer, Erin Benach, SO HARD here because she did an incredible job. Every single character’s outfits are unique and perfectly perfect for their personality and arc. Roman is all velvet blazers with no shirt and leather gloves and Black Canary (Jurnee Smollett-Bell, who I have loved since Friday Night Lights and I love even MORE now because she did all her own singing in this and is just so good) wears the most incredible sultry-lounge-singer-with-a-Pam-Grier-throwback-vibe gold and black ensembles. Most of all, I love that Harley’s outfits are revealing - slutty even - without feeling gross or exploitative. They’re slutty in a way women like, which is so refreshing I could cry.

I really enjoyed the soundtrack and score as well. There’s some Heart, Joan Jett, and Kesha going on, but there’s also a fire Megan Thee Stallion and Normani track over the credits. And the score is effective but not invasive, which I always appreciate.

Speaking of the credits, there is not a post-credits scene exactly but there is a little easter egg of a joke that was worth staying for!

Everything about this movie reveals a thoughtfulness and engagement with the female characters that unfortunately just doesn’t happen that often in films created by and for men. You know how I know this film allowed women to be in the rooms where the decisions happen? Because Harley and her frenemies are sexy but not overtly sexualized; every single woman in this movie has her own arc and character growth; they’re strong without being forced into the Strong Female Character archetype; and the camera frames their faces rather than their tits.

I love Bruce the hyena so much because he is perfect and has never done anything wrong in his whole life.

For as gay as this movie is, I am pleased to report that it is also ACTUALLY GAY because there are lesbian characters in it! Renee Montoya (Rosie Perez, taking NO SHIT) and Ellen Yee (Ali Wong) are ex-girlfriends! Who are specifically named as lesbians! Imagine! The novelty!

There is a brief scene of sexual humiliation that is deeply uncomfortable to watch, but you know how I know it was directed by a woman? Because the scene is brief but impactful, it is meant to showcase how evil Roman is, and the way the scene is shot we are forced to focus on the woman’s face or her knees rather than her bra and underwear.

I confess, I had to laugh when Roman finally put on his big evil character mask because he looks like an evil luchador.

Mary Elizabeth Winstead is so hot as Huntress that I thought I was going to dehydrate myself into a coma while watching this movie. Her lack of people skills only made me love her more. Between this and Ramona Flowers, MEW is the gift that keeps on giving to ladygays of my generation.

I just feel like I can’t stress enough how much I loved all the moments that were included in this film because women were the ones creating it. Harley offers Black Canary a hair tie in the middle of a fight scene and I felt like my heart grew three sizes in that moment, which was so simple and funny and perfect.

For an R-rated comic book movie, it’s shockingly not very bloody. I was expecting cartoonish levels of Deadpool-style gore, but really the only R-rated thing the film showcases is naughty language. There’s certainly violence, but again, it doesn’t feel gross or exploitative.

Did I Cry? No, I was having too much fun!

Each of these women ultimately save themselves from their own circumstances - be it an abusive relationship, a shitty job, a mission of vengeance, or just being held in the clutches of a madman. I cannot recommend this movie enough for its sheer joy at its own existence and every thoughtful choice that was made behind and in front of the camera to tell a story about women that can compete with the big boys.

If you liked this review, please consider reblogging or subscribing to my Patreon! For as low as $1, you can access bonus content and movie reviews, or even request that I review any movie of your choice.

#120in2020 #harley quinn: birds of prey #birds of prey #hq: bop #birds of prey review #harley quinn #black canary #black mask #margot robbie #Ewan McGregor #jurnee smollett bell #mary elizabeth winstead #rosie perez #ella jay basco #dceu #movie reviews #film reviews

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minimalexertion · 5 years

Text

Chapter 1

New Dimension Basics

I awake to the sterile smell that reminded me of the GP I always avoided and the sights of blinding lights and a spotless white interior. I could feel the small notebook safely tucked away into the band of my underwear, and a bandage wrapped firmly around my head. A quiet gasp and almost indistinguishable mutter of, "She's awake," Let me know that there was another person in the room, before the sound of a chair screeching across a linoleum floor and light footsteps that faded slowly alerted me of that person's disappearance. I let out a loud groan and lazily took out the small black notebook, my eyebrow twitching as I read the title printed in obnoxious racing-car red: 'A Comprehensive How-to Guide for the Newly Initiated Dimension Travellers.'

Letting out a resigned sigh, I turned to the first chapter, which was conveniently titled, 'Chapter 1: New Dimension Basics.' Before reading the first couple of passages:

Step 1 - Regain Your Bearings

It is always best to orientate yourself first, i.e. to 'place yourself on an imaginary map', before considering any other actions. The easiest way to do this is by asking people (what a shocker) where you are instead of pretending to know. It might also be a good idea to ask, what year is this or what the current date is.

It might be tempting to say, "My time travel machine worked!" But this may place unnecessary expectations onto yourself, which will surely 'bite you in the ass' in the future. This statement may also cause grievous bodily harm and/or death. An example is the tragic demise of dimension traveller #24012000, when she was sent to the dimension A110 - time point 1426. Though it was #24012000 18th time saving valuable lives, they were unable to meet the required target [Joan of Arc] as #24012000 was sentenced to death for witchcraft and their body was unable to be recovered.

Handy Tip #1: Ask for map of the land and/or country/city you are in.

Handy Tip #2: Don't reveal or say anything that may jeopardise your health, well-being and, most importantly, life.

After reading the passage, I felt my stomach drop. The revelation that people have died because of this so called dimension travelling made me sick.

Death was permanent. There are no do-overs, no second-tries. You don't get a second chance.

I could feel the tears welling-up in the corner of my eyes as I let this new information sink in. Taking in a few deep breaths, I continued to read:

Step 2 - Establishing an Alibi

It is a bad idea to disclose information on how you came to be where you are now. If anything, the truth will make them suspicious and paranoid, however a lie will break the trust you will build with them later on. Therefore, it is easier to just pretend you have a 'sixth sense' and amnesia. It will be easier for all characters involved, and most importantly yourself, in the future that you do not indulge them to the facts of your origin.

If pressed to establish where you came from, it is just easier to say, "I don't know." Or, "I don't remember." Or any other variant of the two.

Handy Tip #3: The more tears you put into your performance, the more believable you will be. Tears will trigger a human's (or other highly intelligent being if the world does not have humans) empathetic response. That is, be as convincing as you possibly can.

Note: lying about whether you know a language or not will dampen your chances of survival by at least 30%.

The sound of footsteps approached the door to what I now deemed as my, 'Let's throw [f.name] a pity party', room got louder. Fighting back the waterworks, I quickly shove the little guide back into my underwear and glance at the door expectantly.

The Hokage didn't know is he should be worried or suspicious of a strange girl that Izumo and Kotetsu had found at the Konoha gates. The girl was ice-cold to the touch and barely breathing when they brought her in, and after some thought, he settled for worried.

The nurse had quickly informed him of the girl's awakening and he took it upon himself to discover where she was from. Shaking his head in amusement as he heard the laughter of children outside, he quietly opened the door of the girl's temporary room, his soft gaze landing on the wide awake [colour] haired girl.

"My child, do you know where you are?"

I blinked slowly, letting the old man's words fly completely over my head. I might die in this world, but I'll be damned if I don't go down in history as the world's best actress.

Willing for the tears to well up in my eyes once more, I promptly burst into tears in front of the two people who had made their way to my bedside. Covering my face with both of my hands, I just wailed as if everyone I knew and loved disappeared. Which was, most likely, not a lie.

Wailing loudly, I felt fat crocodile tears slide down my cheeks as I cry out a barely distinguishable, "I miss my parents." A hand pet my head soothingly, as if prompting me to give more details. Keeping both step 1 and 2 of the handbook in mind, I sobbed out a fake scenario that would put fake YouTube apology videos to shame.

"I don't know how I g-got here. I c-can't remember how. I don't e-even know where I am! It was just supposed to be a game of hide-and-seek with my friends, b-but now I'm here? I don't even know where here is?!"

I wailed and continued to bawl my eyes out for a few more minutes, before I let it die down slowly to a couple of sniffles and tearful hiccups. Muttering a quiet thank you as the old man passed me a few tissues, I asked in a whispered, "What is this place?"

"You're in Konoha Hospital, my child." The old man replied, a kind smile on his face. "I am Hiruzen Sarutobi, the third Hokage."

'Hm, okay. A man of power and influence. That's nice to know, but what year is it?' You thought to yourself, your brain operating at least ten times quicker than it would when you would take a mathematics test. You blinked slowly, before turning to face the Hokage with a small and quivering smile, "This may sound strange, but ah, can I ask what the date is?"

The Hokage chuckled, "No question is too strange, and it's the 5th of January."

Was it strange to say that the Hokage reminded you of your grandmother? Old. Wise. Gentle. Could kick your ass when needed to? God dang, the thought of your family made tears well up in your eyes again, at least you can say that if you burst into tears once more that it was method acting. You were too busy caught up in your thoughts to realise that the nurse had checked all of your vitals and that the Hokage was asking a question.

A hand ruffling your [length] [colour] hair startled you out of your daze, as he asked, "What's your name, small one?"

A small smile wormed its way onto your face as you replied in probably the softest voice you could muster, "[f.name]. My name is [f.name] [l.name]."

First impressions: 8 out of 10

Acting skills: 11 out of 10

Probability of survival: 48.32%

#wishful thinking volume i #naruto various x reader #x reader #reader insert #naruto x reader

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skammovistarplus · 5 years

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Culture and Translation - S01 E10

After the cut, lots of thoughts of bullying and betrayals. Also, me trying to get through these quick before season 2 starts dropping.

CLIP 1: And now, for a lot of thoughts on bullying

¿Con las clases empezadas? (“Mid-term?”): Nora asks Eva something like, “with school having started?” I reworked it as it sounds awkward.

Es que no me entra nada (“I have no appetite”): Eva says something like, “I can’t get anything inside.” Again, no one says this in English.

Okay, so when this clip dropped, there were some discussions on twitter. Firstly, as someone who has attended high school in the US and Spain, I don’t believe Nora would be nicknamed Joan of Arc at an American high school. I don’t think Joan of Arc is that well-known of a figure that side of the Atlantic. Joan of Arc is a fairly recognizable figure in Spain because she is a Roman Catholic saint, and Spanish culture is highly influenced by Catholicism. In my opinion, a person like Nora, living in Wisconsin, would be called a SJW or a snowflake or something along those lines. The issue is, Spanish people don’t understand what those nicknames would mean. They would, however, understand the nuances of getting called Joan of Arc.

Then there is another issue. Nora says, “I swear that, in the US, being a freak is a lot worse than here.” That raises some questions, because the kind of bullying Eva is victim to, is actually really serious. I believe she has it the worst out of all the Evas. To recap: She has been abandoned by all her friends except for Nora. People are talking about her and pointing at her. People throw notes at her, and she is the victim of 24/7 cyberbullying, which involves a picture of the Eva/Cristian kiss and defacing the pictures posted to her ig. This has been going on for around a week. Tyler Clementi, to name a notable victim of cyberbullying, suffered under similar circumstances.

So, since Nora is speaking from personal experience, how severe was the bullying she suffered in Madison, the bullying that makes her say that, “in the US, being a freak, is a lot worse” than what Eva is experiencing. Some viewers felt that Nora was minimizing the bullying Eva was going through, as Nora only mentions namecalling, being nicknamed Joan of Arc. Spanish teen viewers (the target audience) felt that Nora was exaggerating what “being a freak” is like at an American high school. That is because Spanish teens’ knowledge of American high school comes from, you guessed it, TV shows and movies. In particular, a movie that was brought up in the comments to the clip was The Perks of Being a Wallflower. When this movie was dubbed for Spaniards, the title was translated as “Las ventajas de ser un marginado” (Perks of being marginalized). Now, you will agree that being marginalized is a lot stronger than being a wallflower, and so that led to the impression from certain viewers that being bullied in the US is a glamorous affair where your best friends are Ezra Miller and Emma Watson, you eat cannabis brownies, drive through tunnels for the aesthetics and go to school dances.

In short, this clip attempted to broach the topic of bullying in the US as compared to bullying in Spain, to an audience who has no real references of what American high school culture is like, outside of American popular culture. And to do so, they gave an unrealistic example (American students using Joan of Arc as a demeaning nickname), failed to explain why Nora would feel that bullying at US schools is “a lot worse” than what Eva is experiencing (which barely holds up as an argument, as what Eva is going through has led students in the US to grievous harm), and led more educated viewers to wonder about the extent of the bullying Nora went through. And while bullying at American high schools is an important topic, should that be a topic that Skam ESPAÑA deals with? Is it relevant to the average Spanish teen’s experience? Personally, I feel like the writers may have bitten off more than the show can possibly chew, with this narrative choice, which informs Nora’s character as it is her backstory.

On a lighter note, Nora compares Eva to a dog, which should imply her stance on dogs isn’t so hard-line. The word she uses, “galletitas,” can mean a number of different things in Spanish. Generally speaking, “galletas” are cookies, but they may also be biscuits, salty crackers, or yes, dog food. I went with “kibble” to keep to the dog-related teasing.

Again, the characters suggest that Eva talks to her mom, but she doesn’t. As I mentioned, this is generally true of Spanish teens (we aren’t a hivemind after all), and more specifically, of bullying victims. One of the biggest issues about bullying in Spain is that victims take up to a year to tell their parents.

CLIP 2: Learn English with Skam España

Okay, so this is definitely more about the effects on bullying than culture or translation anymore. Is everyone in that library talking about Eva? At this point, it no longer matters for either Eva or the viewer. The bullying she has gone through so far has made it so that both Eva and the viewer now feel paranoid that everyone is talking shit about Eva while Eva is present. Maybe those guys are just checking 9gag! But since they took out their phones at the same time Eva got an IG notification, it feels like they are definitely mocking Eva. I thought Eva’s actress was great through the entire bullying arc, and I liked that Skam España expanded on the bullying sl from the og, so that we could get a fuller portrait of the effects of bullying on their victims.

¿Con qué estás? (“What are you studying?”): The literal translation would be, “What are you with?” I.e. What subject are you working on right now.

When did Amira take that Bio test? She’s supposed to be in Eva’s group (we saw her in the third clip and she’s also on the Science track), but of course, that test was all about Eva and Lucas’ friendship angst.

Phrasal verbs are the bane of every ESL student’s existence, Cris included.

No seas plasta (“don’t be a pain in the ass”): “Plasta” is a synonym of “pesado/pesada,” which I already covered in an earlier post. It literally means “flattened mass.”

Me cago en la puta (“shit on a whore”): More pooping! Now we’re pooping right on top of prostitutes! But yeah, that’s the literal translation and, you know, sometimes you want to find the closer English equivalent, and other times, you just want to make sure people understand who or what we’re pooping on this time. Cris is really frustrated with her English skills, so she uses one of the stronger pooping variations.

This was one of the clips that were most fun to translate, for the challenge of translating an English quiz to English.

CLIP 3: Mess

Es que ya hay que tener mala hostia (“You really gotta be a fucking asshole”): “Tener mala hostia” is the stronger versión of “tener mala leche” (literally, to have bad milk). A person with “mala leche” is someone who acts in bad faith, a malicious or a bad-tempered person. The idiom comes from the idea that a mother’s breastfeeding milk can have an impact on her person’s temper or personality. “Hostia,” as we’ve covered, is the sacramental bread used for the ritual of the Eucharist, but it’s used more commonly to mean a smack across the face.

Cris makes a point of singling out the person who first uploaded the pic to instagram. When I link Skam España to people, I point out that they should also follow the social media posts, and here’s the reason. If you follow the social media posts, you already know who first uploaded the picture to instagram. It was Inés. The hate ig took it from her stories, cropped it, and posted the first meme. The sequence of events is clear if you followed the show in real time. However, if you bingewatch the episodes and don’t follow social media, you get the impression that, at this point, how the Eva/Cristian picture made it to the hate ig is a mystery. And also, that whoever uploaded it first (who we know to be Inés) is the one with beef against Eva. And, well, there’s beef of the level of “I uploaded a compromising pic to my stories to be a dick” and beef on the level of “I’ve vandalized all your pictures, turned you into a meme and covertly filmed you at school.”

This confrontation is so odd when you consider that, unlike the og girl squad who didn’t know about the letter written in period blood, the Spanish girl squad suspects the second years of being behind the hate ig. In fact, they know the girls have pulled similar shit before. And, best of all, Cris actually hooked up with one of them, so you’d think Cris’ presence might help matters?

The second year girls have a different Maths teacher. This one is a guy. The girl squad’s Maths teacher is a woman.

I find it funny that Rubén was suspended for three days for fighting with ALEJANDRO, but ALEJANDRO was not punished himself.

I just noticed that there should be an “into” in the sentence, “People are huge assholes and anything can turn INTO a joke to laugh your ass off.” Oops.

CLIP 4: Failing grade in Biology and in Friendship

As noted in the subs, in Spain we’re graded on a 0-10 scale. 5 is the passing grade. Lucas got an 8, which is considered a “notable” grade, but not “outstanding” (those are grades over 9). Eva got a 3, which is well below 5. Much like Isak, Lucas is good enough in Biology that he does well in surprise exams. He seems to be resentful of what this grade might do to his GPA though, lol.

Lucas says that his mom was hysterical after his dad left, but the language he uses doesn’t make it explicit that his mom is mentally ill. The writers may or may not keep this part of Isak’s background. Thought I’d mention that since we know at this point that they have no issues giving the Skam España characters entirely different backgrounds. So far, it’s clear that Lucas’ parents fight a lot and that his home life is massively impacting Lucas’ mood and life, but we don’t know what the fights are about.

¿Para esto vienes de buenas a hablar conmigo? (“Is this why you talked to me like nothing happened?”): “de buenas” is kind of tricky to translate. You can come at someone “de buenas” (good) or “de malas” (bad). If you come at someone “de malas,” it means you’re already on a bad mood when you start a conversation, or you’re angling for a fight. On the other hand, if you come at someone “de buenas,” it means you’re in a conciliatory mood, or trying to avoid a fight.

CLIP 5: Hi privileges

Comiéndoos la boca (“Sucking face”): Inés actually says that Jorge and Eva were eating each other’s mouths. This is a common Spanish idiom, by the way!

El insta es muy jodido (“Insta is a mindfuck”): Eva says that Insta is “really fucked up,” as in, it does a number on one’s mental health. I went with “mindfuck” to get to the point of what Eva means, but keeping the swear word.

Eva asks Inés why she stayed friends with Jorge, but not her. I saw some commentary to the tune of, “why did they add that bit of dialogue? It adds nothing to the conversation, we already know this.” Personally, I think it’s good that they added it, because it’s a good starting point for a discussion, and particularly when it comes to the s2 storyline. Skam has gotten massive kudos for promoting sorority and friendship between girls. However, the s2 storyline is about Noora being forced to choose between her friend and a boyfriend. Vilde never dated William, but the storyline shares some of the same elements: Eva is torn between a guy she likes who likes her back, and her friend who is in love with that guy. So is Noora. Skam offers two outcomes to that scenario. Eva’s decision results in her expulsion from her friend group, while ultimately the girl squad friendship is stronger after Noora’s season.

Inés says she assumed that boyfriends come and go, but that she thought she’d stay friends with Eva forever. Was Eva Mohn right in choosing a boyfriend over her best friend? Was Eva Vázquez (since, thanks to the bonus clip, we know more of how Eva and Jorge got together)? Was Inés right to hold a grudge against Eva? And if she was right to do so, was she right to not hold a grudge against Jorge? Is it ever okay to choose a boyfriend over your friends?

Again, if you haven’t kept up with the social media, Inés’ apology may seem confusing. It seems like she admits to being the person behind the hate ig, but then why would she not take credit for the meme? The first profile to make a meme out of the Eva/Cristian pic was eva_la_z0rra (or eva_the_s1ut). That’s because Inés is not behind the hate ig. She just uploaded the pic to her stories. I have noticed that people who didn’t keep up with the social media posts assume Inés took responsibility for the hate ig, which is interesting. You could watch og Skam without the social media posts and the story would be exactly the same than if you’d watched it with the social media posts. Social media added characterization details. When it comes to Skam España, you come away with two very different conclusions as to who ran the hate ig, depending on your level of investment (reading and watching everything vs just watching the episodes).

Retirar el saludo (“to snub someone”): This idiom doesn’t come up in the clip itself, but it gives cultural context to Eva and Inés’ conversation. In the course of a day, we say hi to everyone we know that we come across. We don’t necessarily stop and have a conversation, but we acknowledge them with a “hi” or a “how are you doing.” In Spain, we have a specific idiom for when someone’s fucked up and has lost their “hi” privileges. This is “retirar el saludo” (literally, “to remove the greeting”). Through the conversation, Eva seeks to get her “hi” privileges back, and eventually Inés agrees she will say “hi” to Eva when they see each other at school/around the neighborhood/at parties or botellones. It doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll stop to talk and catch up, but Eva now gets to be told “hi.”

Social media:

Cris turned 16 this week! I love that the writers specifically picked her birthdate so that it would fall on a day where the girl squad was still broken up. Needless to say, people were very salty in the comments, heh.

I’ve liked the way Skam España has referenced the og with similar social media pics, Kose Club, and song choices. Referencing songs from the og on insta is actually clever as it helps them circumvent music license issues, lol. That said, I think naming the Spanish girl squad after the og girl squad name Las Losers would be far too much. I hope they leave it at that, just a reference on a text update.

#culture and translation #skam españa #skam spain #skames #skamesp

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hippyjonny · 3 years

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Universal Language

The universe is screaming at me, but I can’t understand what it’s saying. Today my co-worker quit. This came after I told her everything that frustrated me about working with her and many of the ways she invade my space and privacy, disrespected me, and manipulated me. She glossed over all of this and simply left me a very vague professional letter placing most of the blame on her “not being perfect,” being “new at this,” and on Mr. Suginomori, the current English department head. She made claims that Mr. Suginomori told her that the English teachers MUST change its curriculum, and that he was asking her to constantly check up on me. Checking up on me became an issue because she would give me dates and deadlines for things, but she is not my boss and I hadn’t heard a single word from any management about it. So eventually I had to bring it up with her that I was annoyed she was checking up on me and that she needed to learn that I was a part-time employee hired to teach classes as I see fit. Not once at THAT time did she mention that these were orders from on high. And if they were, why would she not just plainly state that at the time. For example, “Mr. Suginomori asked me to check up on you to see how your progress is going.” Also, why wouldn’t you just refuse in the first place and tell Mr. Suginomori that it is his job to delegate tasks as the team leader? She blamed the total absence of clear communication and chain of command which I think is a strong contributing factor to what happened. However, she did not once take responsibility for her unprofessional and abusive behavior towards me. This made my letter which was an emotional outburst look insane in comparison. Today she resigned stating that she was just trying to do her best for the students and she is dying a martyr on her cross of English education. She blames the department for their inability to communicate. It really is an issue at our school. However, that lack of communication does not explain why she condescended me, attacked me, insulted me and made me feel worthless for years. It does not excuse her petty behavior that she willingly chose to be a middle man for poor management and chose not to tell me that her check-ups were direct orders from Mr. Suginomori. It seems hard for me to believe. I had literally just gotten off of the phone with my brother and decided that I would be giving my resignation and leaving the school in October when she posted the message. When I found out that she was quitting, I almost felt sorry for her. She had no one to turn to and her voice was drowned out by a bunch of old men with antiquated ides. However, none of that justifies her cruelty towards me. She aimed her stress and anger at men all onto me. I was the totem pole of injustice in the world. She once told me a story about seeing her friend after a gang rape covered head to toe in ejaculate. Now she wants vengeance. She sees every experience through a veil of pain. And I would have been much more receptive to that need if she hadn’t put me on sleeping pills and brought me to a mental breakdown. So now my decision to leave Japan early cannot be based on my anger for this woman because she is leaving regardless. I contemplate what I am supposed to learn from my time at this school that has shown that they don’t give a rats ass about my mental health, and a dumpy, white Joan of Arc. I don’t feel better now that she’s leaving. I don’t feel that my pain has been recognized. I know that one of my biggest problems is converting my feral rage into words that are not barbed in order to create a clear boundary. This has been the case time and time again with so many people in my life. I simply disassociated and became absent at work after taking so much abuse. I began to just agree with her and say “yes” to everything because it was clear through her behavior that I was not allowed an opinion or my own space. I had already tried talks with her, I had already tried every single way to make myself clear and still it was not enough. I should not have waited so long to nip certain incidents in the bud, but she had shown herself incapable of changing her behavior and the amount of the bad behavior was so frequent that I would have had to have a talk with her on a weekly, if not daily, basis.

So, I am trying to sort as I write this very post whether or not I mistreated her or didn’t give her a chance. Was there something I should have changed about myself? Was I unfair in telling her how crazy she made me feel? No.

I have learned that I can’t blame others for my unhappiness when I need to find a way not to become a prisoner of my rage and helpless thinking. But if I knew how to communicate my emotions and fend for myself, I never would have begun resenting her. I would not have engaged in her infectious negativity. But what used to be rage is just sadness now. I’m getting exactly what I wanted. I imagined strangling her until her eyes popped out or putting cyanide in her tea. I had even said I thought her dad dying of cancer was Karma. If this had been me when I first started, I would just end it with “Rot in hell, fat bitch.” But the real tragedy of it all is how meaningless it all was. She didn’t find the meaning she was looking for in her life and I just tormented myself until I didn’t even know who I was or what I want anymore. Why did you do that, lady?

If there is anything the universe is trying to tell me, it’s not anything that I can use.

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poppyssupergirl · 7 years

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Kisses Felt Around The World

This is for @bridgetteirish ‘s International Kissing Day Challenge and you can read this on AO3 if you’d like!

The AO3 Challenge is also linked so you can read everyone else’s submissions!

Cat’s in Hong Kong.

Of course, that’s only the furthest away anyone could be and Kara scoffs before picking the car off the turnpike railings and depositing it onto the cracked pavement. The family inside runs and she waves with a smile, her other hand twisting the phone so she can balance it between her cheek and shoulder.

The video cameras trailed on her will show both of her hands coming up just in time to catch the alien creature as it charges her. She doesn’t give an inch and she doesn’t drop her phone.

There’s one lucky camera woman with a cell phone picture that clearly catches Kara rolling her eyes and bickering with whoever she’s talking to.

The creature is eight times Supergirl’s size and it looks so, so small in her hands. She doesn’t even really have to hit it to calm it down enough for a swarm of black-clad agents to sweep across the scene.

Supergirl raises into the air and shoots a smile toward a non-descript agent in a helmet, she readjusts the phone in her hand and visibly scoffs again.

The woman holding the phone gets seventeen interviews before the video even has time to go viral.

She stops into the DEO first, as is policy.

Kara hangs up as she touches down, she’ll have to get to Cat later. She’s got a bet to win.

Vasquez looks up as she enters headquarters and opens her mouth just for Kara to cut her off.

“Susan, can I kiss you?”

Winn tips his Twizzlers onto the floor and the whole operation goes silent. Even J’onn looks up with a slight frown.

Kara watches as Susan’s face moves from shock to confusion to shock again and then back to confusion. “Excuse me, ma’am?”

“May I kiss you?” Kara asks again, a tad bit slower. She’s got very little time but she’s not going to infringe on anyone’s rights. Or hurt anyone. She’s just competitive, okay?

J’onn can hear Vasquez’s mind screeching into overdrive and his stifled laughter ends up barely louder than the oppressive silence engulfing the DEO.

Susan nods jerkily and Kara flashes a smile that could bend steel to her will even more easily than her own fingers could. And Supergirl’s fingers can do quite a bit.

Susan will later tell the story like so:

Kara stepped forward, radiating the happiness that had drawn Susan to her in the first place. A quiet confidence that settled into every nook and cranny of Susan’s body.

Yes, in that moment, she wanted to be held in Supergirl’s strong arms.

She was softer than a cloud and solid enough to stop boulders. She was a dream wrapped up in a reality that Susan still couldn’t believe she was a part of.

Her lips were sweeter than honey and Susan was lifted right out of her chair and pressed against a body she’d craved. The kiss was gentle and rough and had just enough tongue to send a shiver through her body.

If Susan were to die, right then and there, her life would have been complete.

(At this point in the story Winn is already tossing peanuts to make it end. He was there, the kiss wasn’t that great.)

Kara releases Susan with another smile to light up a galaxy and skips over to Winn.

(This is the point in the story where Winn takes over)

She presses a sweet kiss to his cheek and picks up his Twizzlers. She even snags a kiss to the top of her head from J’onn.

Susan is still smiling at her desk as Kara swipes into her phone and steps off the balcony.

Unsurprisingly, Lucy Lane is the easiest to get an agreement from. She doesn't really need a reason, she agrees as soon as Kara gets the question out of her mouth.

It’s almost concerning really. Almost.

So Kara touches down, a rooftop restaurant in Metropolis, her cape snapping in the breeze. Cameras flicker around her and Lucy is already walking toward her. Kara can’t help the smile already aching across her cheeks.

The kiss hits every tabloid in about 33 seconds.

It’s hot and full of tongue and Lucy doesn’t waste her chances. She’s never copped a feel on a Superhero, but oh boy, does she ever make up for that now.

Her fingers wrap around Kara’s ass and Kara gasps into the kiss. She wraps her arms around Lucy, just a little tighter, and dips Lucy backward.

There are hoots and hollers around them but Kara only has ears for the way Lucy’s heartbeat crescendos through their kiss.

The real issue is getting Lucy Lane to let go. Like Joan of Arc, she has a mission in mind and it will take the stake and 1400 degree flames to stop her. She buries her fingers in Kara’s hair and wraps a leg around her waist.

She probably can’t get arrested, but Lucy’s always liked testing her boundaries.

Kara pulls back before Lucy can find the zip on her suit and she’s panting. A woman capable of breaking the sound barrier without breaking a sweat and Lucy has her gasping for breath.

The more capable Lane indeed.

Lucy advances as Kara steps back until Lucy’s grinning at the edge of the rooftop. She could jump and Kara would catch her, but she doesn’t need underhanded tricks now.

Now Kara knows what she’s missing and Lucy can depend on that.

Kara’s a vibrant red and she thanks Lucy again before rocketing off, into the sunlight. Lucy doesn’t bat an eye at the cameras flashing around her. She’s walking on the corpses of her political rivals, nothing will beat this.

So she sits back down at her table, Clark Kent gaping across from her, and finishes her lunch.

James is in his studio. His camera is lovingly tucked under his arm and he smiles when Kara walks in. Eve Teschmacher stands beside him and marks down the time.

Kara leans in and James leans down and it’s a sweet kiss. There’s no more bitterness and they both feel safe in each other’s arms. Kara sniffles just the slightest bit and James laughs before shooing her out.

Kara’s boots leave CatCo property and Eve doodles on her paper before asking, “Do you still love her?”

James just smiles at his photos and rearranges a layout. The sun falls across his face, it’s a beautiful day in National City. “Everyone loves Kara.”

There’s a Lotreng tearing holes in the bar when Kara gets there. M’gann looks more than a little frazzled and Kara laughs before leaping into the fray.

There’s an internet domain that you can find only if you already have access to it. On that domain is Rotinyl herbal remedies, which businesses are pro-alien, and how to tame a Slinara if you have two bgnorts and a clorsic on hand.

Today, that domain has a video of Supergirl laughing while taking … punches… from a Lotreng in full rage. She doesn’t seem to have a problem holding it down until the rage passes. Fland, the Lotreng, apologizes for the damage and blushes all the way up to his glondexs in embarrassment.

M’gann, the bartender, doesn’t even flinch when Supergirl, an alien superhero, points to her cheek with a smile. She just leans in with a long-suffering sigh and kisses, a human display of affection, the superhero on the cheek.

Supergirl flashes them all another smile and there’s blur before the tables are righted and all the broken furniture is piled in one corner. M’gann, the bartender, rolls her eyes before leaning in and kissing Supergirl’s other cheek.

(this may be the French form of greeting, but no one can confirm that)

There’s another flash of pearly whites, no it’s not a display of aggression on this planet, and Supergirl is off into the fading afternoon.

Lena Luthor doesn’t like public displays of affection. Lena Luthor really likes Kara Danvers.

When an immovable object meets an unstoppable force… something’s gotta give.

Needless to say, seven board members are accosted with flowers and Supergirl sweeps into Lena’s meeting. Lena already knows what’s going to happen. She knows that Jess will never let her live it down.

She knows that the kiss, her wrapped up in Kara’s arms, surrounded by the cape and a golden cascade of hair, will only ever circulate between their small group of friends. So when the board members get over their shock and shout at Lena, well…

Lena’s still looking out the window, two fingers tracing her lips, and a smile quirking across her cheeks. Her eyes are more alight than Jess has seen them since Kara’s last visit and Jess already has the picture sent to their whole group chat.

There are no cutting looks in this board meeting, only a calm and slightly smiling Lena Luthor. It bothers the board members much more than any cold stare.

Kara pushes herself well over Mach eight and all she can hear is the erratic thump of air molecules hitting her ear drums. She’s not surprised when she sees Cat standing in Times Square, honestly, where else would she be?

There’s a CatCo building going in just up the street so it only makes sense.

The cameraman is Cat’s favorite and Supergirl gives him a wave. He looks tired, jet lag is a bitch, but he waves and points to where Cat is standing.

“Good evening, Hong Kong, National City, as you may know, today is International Kissing Day. I am joined by none other than National City’s hero, Supergirl.” Cat flashes her a dazzling smile and Kara bites back a laugh.

Cat is never one to be outdone and she gives Lucy a run for her money. Not quite in handsy-ness, but in time for sure.

The kiss tops a minute and a half before the gathered crowd starts to lose interest. Not surprising for Cat and she hears, even over the rushing of her own blood, the slight dip in the raucousness of the crowd and pulls back with a smirk.

Kara dutifully smiles at the camera and gives Cat a final hug, there’s a whispered message but the mic definitely doesn’t catch that, and Cat’s waving goodbye as Kara stumbles into the air.

Lucy calls her later to ask her what she’d said. Cat, like any good, generous mentor, tells Lucy.

Lucy never, ever repeats it. Not even in her own mind.

Kara flutters through Alex’s apartment window and skips over to where she’s laying across her couch, head in Maggie’s lap.

“Kiss” She demands, pointing at her cheek and Alex rolls her eyes at Maggie’s protests and obeys. Kara makes sure to drag her hair over Alex’s lips and Alex sputters and gags in jest, batting Kara away.

Maggie frowns at Kara and glances at her phone, “That’s still only nine! I explicitly said, ten kisses and you win. Nine doesn’t count.”

Kara sheds her cape and looks at the clock, she’s got six more minutes, she’s done pretty well so far. “You said, and I quote, “Kiss or be kissed by ten people who love you.” Right?”

Maggie nods and her eyes narrow as Kara closes in on her. She realizes what’s happening far, far too late. “No! No, I don’t count!!!”

Alex laughs and tucks away from their tussle. Her eyes crinkle in delight as Maggie is swamped with kisses all over her hair and cheeks, Kara’s laughter ringing out in her apartment.

“You love me don’t you?” Kara grins down at a thoroughly defeated Maggie Sawyer and Maggie just groans against the couch.

“Seems like ten to me.” Alex doesn’t mind throwing Maggie under the bus of Kara’s love, she’s had to deal with it for thirteen years after all. “Sounds like we’re watching every Disney film in order this weekend.”

Maggie’s groans fill the apartment and the Danvers sisters only laugh all the louder.

#ikd supergirl fanworks #supergirl #many kisses #international kissing day #fluff

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neneyandere · 7 years

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Do you have any head cannons for England or Nyo England? You can choose one of them if you don't want to do both of them!

Nah, man, I got you. Another anon asked for Francey-pants, so I figured I’d combine these asks.—

England

-Much like his 2p!, I think it’s very likely that he’ll use magic to get his s/o.

-However, unlike Oliver, he won’t erase their memory. Maybe he wants to experience breaking his s/o’s will, giving him the rush of power he hasn’t felt in so long.-Now, he is a gentleman, and needs a lady/gentleman as a result. Sorry fam, you’re gonna be stuck in really proper, uncomfortable clothing.

-I don’t know where the joke of England setting food on fire came from. Maybe the manga? All I’ve seen is his food being called bland. Either way, he actually manages, just for you. Maybe it isn’t the best, but it is edible.

-Of course, if you want to make food, he’s all for letting you, if you behave.

-”Mun! Don’t you think he should act more loving to his s/o?”-Must I remind you that this boy was both an empire and a pirate?

-He’s not gentle as a Yandere, trust me. Now, he isn’t overly cruel, and will spoil you if you behave well enough, but he isn’t going to love on you 24/7. Not in the beginning, anyway.

-B O Y, if France so much as looks at you, you will be marked as his property, one way or the other. It’ll be easy to see, too.

Nyo! England

-As a lady, she is more caring than her male counterpart. It comes from her maternal instinct.

-Takes a much less direct approach as well, getting to know her interest much more before taking them away.

-However, since she’s insecure, and doesn’t handle it quite as well as her counterpart, once she has her s/o, they will never step foot outside this home again, aside from maybe the garden, for tea.

-For not the first time, she wishes she had the cooking skills of Francine. She honestly wishes she could make you wonderful food, instead of the stuff everyone makes fun of.

-Because she’s especially insecure about her appearance, compared to the other Nyotalia girls, if the other members of the Nyo! F.A.C.E. family come over, you can bet your ass that you’re getting locked in the basement until they leave.

-Not as aggressively jealous as England? Much more likely to curse or hex them than beat them.

-Actually would love it if you ever cuddled with her, and would instantly let down her guard.

-I see her being more trusting than her counterpart, especially in the beginning, because of her gender. Female just tend to be more sympathetic than males, as a whole.

-Again, the maternal instinct. She loves her s/o, so she’s fiercely protective, and loves them no matter what.

France

-If he ever actually kidnaps you, he would spoil the hell out of you.

-He would never force himself on you. People can make jokes all they want about France, but he is the country of love, not sex.

-Really, really doesn’t want to do anything to hurt you, or your family. Only does it if it’s the only option. And even then, feels guilty as hell.

-More likely to break down sobbing than punish if you misbehave. Boi just wants your love.

-Remember when I said he spoils you? Scratch that, spoil doesn’t even begin to cover it.

-Like, dude, you’d think you’re a god with everything he gives you.

-Deep down, he’d know if you were just pretending to love him, but he’s still so happy, because the last real love he had was Joan of Arc. And you know how that ended.

-He never thought he’d get over her. Then you came along.

-Because of that, he never lets you around any other country. Like, they don’t know you exist.

-Although, France has been a lot less flirty lately…with everyone.

#nyo england #aph france #aph england

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bewitching-elizabeth-olsen · 7 years

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Press: Elizabeth Olsen does double duty in 'Wind River' and 'Ingrid Goes West'

LA TIMES – Room 64 at the Chateau Marmont is possibly the most Instagrammable spot in L.A. Its wrap-around terrace is suspended just below the homes built into the Hollywood Hills, tiny glass boxes that form their own constellation when night falls. Rumor has it Howard Hughes once lived in this two-bedroom penthouse, spying on girls at the pool below, decades before Lindsay Lohan and Lady Gaga crashed here for a slumber party.

Today, however, it is home to the actress Elizabeth Olsen, who has arrived at the hotel with a team of people to help beautify her. High-heeled sandals are lined up on a desk. There are multiple pieces of luggage containing makeup kits. She is wearing borrowed diamonds on her fingers, paging through the room service menu, from which she can order whatever she would like.

It’s a scene, no doubt, that would incite lust among her half-a-million Instagram followers. But she doesn’t feel like she knows how to do the setting justice. Just this morning, she attempted to photograph her breakfast, but then ended up deleting the image in haste.

“I’m bad at it,” she says. “I’m bad at the lighting. I’m bad at the framing. I’m bad at the editing. When I look at my food, it looks pretty. When I look at it on a phone, it looks not pretty.”

This is not a problem that her character in “Ingrid Goes West” would have. In the dark comedy — one of two films the 28-year-old is starring in this August — Olsen plays Taylor Sloane, a social media influencer who has established a reputation as the quintessential California cool girl. She tools around in a vintage Mercedes, is perennially reading Joan Didion’s “The White Album” and spends her weekends at a Joshua Tree abode. When she photographs her breakfast — avocado toast, obvi — it always looks pretty.

Matt Spicer, who directed the film, felt certain that Olsen could embody this kind of aspirational figure. Sure, he was a fan of her acting, but he’d also noticed how often she popped up on best-dressed lists. She also had proximity to the style world via her sisters, the twins Mary-Kate and Ashley, who run two of their own fashion lines.

“She has a natural charm and likability to her, which isn’t something you can really teach,” he says. “She’s one of those girls that other girls look up to. Since we did the movie, I think I’ve gained 1,000 Instagram followers that are just Lizzie fan accounts.”

And for the most part, it appears that those fans gravitate to Olsen due to who she is off-screen. Even though she’s been part of the hugely popular Marvel universe for two years — playing the reality-altering Scarlet Witch in “The Avengers” and “Captain America” films — most headlines about her still tend to relate to her style choices. A quick Google search of her name turns up five Daily Mail articles from July alone, nearly all centered on her clothing.

But Olsen has been steadily building up a respectable film resume since emerging as an “it girl” at the Sundance Film Festival in 2011, where her performance in “Martha Marcy May Marlene” signaled the arrival of a formidable new young Hollywood talent. A couple years later, she completed her acting studies at New York University’s Tisch School of the Arts and began taking roles in movies from bigger filmmakers, including Spike Lee (“Old Boy”) and Gareth Edwards (“Godzilla”).

Then Marvel came calling — a huge coup for Olsen, who grew up watching action-heavy flicks from the Indiana Jones and James Bond series with her father in Toluca Lake. But participating in the superhero franchise has also meant turning down a number of projects that could have shown off more of her acting ability — including a role in Yorgos Lanthimos’ critically acclaimed “The Lobster.”

“There have been things more in line with the career arc I’d like to create that I had to turn down due to scheduling conflicts,” she explains. “You want to create a personal canon.”

That’s what she’s hoping to bolster this month with “Ingrid Goes West” (Aug. 11) and “Wind River,” which debuts Aug. 4. The two movies, to put it mildly, are incredibly different. “Wind River,” which earned filmmaker Taylor Sheridan the top directing prize in the Cannes Film Festival’s Un Certain Regard section in May, is a dark murder mystery. Olsen stars opposite her “Avengers” co-star Jeremy Renner as a rookie FBI agent sent to Wyoming to investigate the death of a local woman on a remote Native American reservation.

The role would require the actress to train with a veteran law enforcement officer and learn how to shoot a gun — opportunities she relished. She was more worried about flying to Park City, Utah, for production, because she hates the cold and high altitude.

“So I bold-faced lied to her and said, ‘We’re not shooting high and it’s not cold there,’” Sheridan recalls with a laugh. “I knew it would be, which was one of the things I loved about it — you can see it on her face in the movie that she really doesn’t like the cold. But she overcame it.”

The director, who nabbed an Oscar nomination for writing “Hell or High Water” and also scripted “Wind River,” cast Olsen long before Renner. He says he wanted her from the “very, very, very beginning” because he responded to an “essence of confidence” she exuded — a certain kind of toughness. “There’s a blue collar element to her, which I mean as a compliment,” he explains. “That’s how grounded she is, and maybe it’s because she grew up with [Hollywood], she’s able to see it for what it is.”

Renner, who plays a local U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service agent who takes Olsen’s character under his wing, admits he put off reading Sheridan’s script for months. (Chris Pine was originally cast in the role.) Eventually, the actor decided to sign onto the film because he wanted “to work with Lizzie in a different way — in a real way.”

“Here, I got to observe somebody working in a very different capacity — with more emotional intelligence, not just being in a costume and the whole thing,” the actor says. “She had to be pretty bad-ass with a handgun, I’ll tell you what — and that’s coming from a guy who knows how to use a lot of weapons.”

“Ingrid Goes West,” of course, didn’t require quite as much prep — though Olsen did start a secret Instagram account, following women like lifestyle guru Jenni Kayne, fashion blogger Aimee Song and Who What Wear founder Hillary Kerr for inspiration. Spicer encouraged her to start posting her own photographs, which she did: one of a crusty baguette with dipping oil, another of some Diptyque candles. (“Those first ones were a little bumpy,” the director says with a laugh. “Like, food that doesn’t quite look as appetizing as it should, or sunsets. Very obvious starter photos.”)

Then, this winter, Olsen decided to bite the bullet and start her own public page.

“I decided to join because I realized I was only taking something away from myself,” she explains. “It’s so funny that people like to pretend that they’re maybe or maybe not getting paid to post something. Financially, it’s a brilliant opportunity. Like, I’d really love to be a brand ambassador. I’d love to do a campaign. I think sometimes working with brands or different cosmetic companies — that can help people recognize your face and then they go see your movies. I was only hurting my opportunities by not participating.”

While some young Oscar winners like Jennifer Lawrence and Emma Stone have held out on joining the platform, it has increasingly become commonplace for even serious actor types — Anne Hathaway, Brie Larson, Shailene Woodley — to open up on social media. Before, Olsen says, she was “being old-school about it” — something she learned from her sisters, who she acknowledges are “notoriously private people.” But even they supported her launching an Instagram account. And besides, she’s not good at being “super mysterious.” She’s too chatty for that. Plus, there are plenty of accounts she wants to keep stalking.

“There are so many times I’ve seen a picture and thought, ‘Oh, God, how do they make those flower arrangements look so great all the time?’” says Olsen, who recently bought her first home in L.A. and is decorating it with an aesthetic she describes as Diane Keaton’s Hamptons beach house in “Something’s Gotta Give.” “Or: ‘How expensive are those chairs I’m looking at on Pinterest? Did they find them at some place I’ve never heard of? How do you have that kind of eye?’”

The rest of the photoshoot is posted in the gallery.

Gallery Link:

Studio Photoshoots > 2017 > Session 017

Press: Elizabeth Olsen does double duty in ‘Wind River’ and ‘Ingrid Goes West’ was originally published on Elizabeth Olsen Source • Your source for everything Elizabeth Olsen

#Elizabeth Olsen #Lizzy Olsen #Avengers #Scarlet Witch #Wanda Maximoff #Marvel

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nellie-elizabeth · 7 years

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Modern Family: All Things Being Equal (8x20)

Ehhhhh whyyyyyy. I seriously hate it when sitcoms take on a political or social issue and they're not willing to go far enough to actually do anything good with it. This episode was a bummer, although it did have a couple of successful elements.

Cons:

Okay, so, the girls are going to a women's march. Gloria, Claire, Alex, Haley, and Lily all pile into the car, but they are stopped by a flat tire. They decide, in the spirit of feminism, to try and change the tire themselves. They are helped by a bad-ass girl named Joey who spouts off feminist one-liners like "we're stronger together." But then she steals Gloria's car. This was a super obvious punchline, and actually undermines the whole message. It wasn't offensive in its lameness, necessarily, but it was a bit of a letdown.

Now let's talk about the offensive part: Luke and Manny are volunteering at the march, and Luke ends up bonding with a feminist named Danielle, a girl who Manny apparently has a crush on. As Danielle talks to Luke about the issues facing women, Luke is blown away by all of this stuff he'd never thought about before. She really gets through to him, and Luke is genuinely supportive. And then, the punch-line. Danielle says that she will be celibate until women achieve true equality, and Luke runs off, giving up on her instantly. I hated that they went that route. I was so excited to see a moment of true growth for Luke's character, as he made a genuinely human connection with somebody, and seemed interested in learning more about a complex social issue. But... nope! Teenage boy wants sex, so all character development goes out the window. Also, Manny had the unfortunate trend in this episode of acting like he deserved women's attention because he was a feminist. Kind of missing the point on that one, Manny.

Pros:

Jay and Phil, meanwhile, argue over who should work at their new parking lot as the ticket taker. Phil hires Joan, a very chatty woman who everybody loves, but who takes too long to get through the line. Jay wants to fire her, and eventually does so without Phil's blessing. When Jay steps in to try and manage the booth himself, he finds it's harder than it looks, and Phil shows up with Joan to save the day.

Initially I was going to put this plot thread under "cons" as well, because Joan's character made me a little uncomfortable at the end. She basically shows up and, as a black woman, solves the dispute going on between Jay and Phil with some wise words. A little unfortunate, to say the least. But the thing is, for the majority of the story, Joan was just a delight. I love how she knew everybody who came through the parking garage, and how she had everybody's family members memorized. Also, Phil taking a shine to such a woman was pretty hilarious. I'd actually like to see her come back and maybe get more of a character arc, although I doubt that will happen.

The girls on their way to the march did have a few really funny lines, including Haley knowing exactly who Marie Curie was, because Alex talks about her a lot, and Gloria lamenting after the car gets stolen: "my makeup was not insured."

The funniest plot thread goes to Mitchell and Cam for sure. Pam is still staying upstairs with the baby, and it seems that Mitchell has really bonded with Pam, and has a magic touch with the baby. Cam is jealous of this new relationship between Mitchell and his sister, and it all comes to a head when Cam sees Pam kissing Mitchell in a moment of sleepy confusion. Pam breaks down and says she's a total mess, and Cam and Mitchell tell her that she doesn't need to go through this alone.

When this plot thread started, I was pretty bored with it. Oh, so Cam is jealous of Mitchell and Pam, misunderstandings, anger, reconciliation. Right? Wrong. I loved the moment when Cam saw Mitchell and Pam kissing, and then immediately talks to Mitchell about it, horrified and yet slightly amused in an offended sort of way. I just loved that there wasn't some prolonged misunderstanding plot here. And there were so many funny moments, like all the comparisons between Cam and Pam's upbringing and The Wizard of Oz, including a tornado that lifted their house off the ground. Also, Cam attempts to bond with the baby by distinguishing himself as his "real uncle," while Mitchel is just "some guy I met at a party." Hilarious!

So, there you have it. I was really disappointed in the way this episode handled feminism. I felt like they were so close to landing a genuine story, where Luke actually has his eyes opened, but instead they went for a cheap laugh. Ugh. I wish this show would either die gracefully, or find a way to reinvigorate itself...

6.5/10

#review #modern family #modern family review

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the-record-columns · 7 years

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Feb. 22, 2017: Columns

…and the box it came in

By KEN WELBORN

Record Publisher

A couple of weeks ago I wrote about a road trip I took with my friend, Carl White, who, for the past six or seven years, has produced and hosted Life in the Carolinas, a syndicated television show.

During the trip we were searching for an item of TV trivia for Carl's friend Tom Isenhour of Salisbury who has been collecting for years. The premise being that if we found something he didn't have, that would in and of itself be unusual. Well, we found a child's Davy Crockett outfit that Tom did not have, he was well pleased, and Carl and I succeeded in our mission.

But, what Tom did have, was an original box for it, which he had bought some years earlier and put away for the day when he would find its contents. Which, of course, brings us to this week, and the promised follow-up about boxes.

Collecting things brings out all kinds of minutiae for folks who are trying to make a set of something. Stamp collecting is the best example. There must be a 25 different things that can change the value or the cataloging of any given stamp, from something as obvious as whether it is new of used, down to how many perforations it has on each side. Personally I am content to just have one to go in my album, because, as I like to say, it is just as much fun and takes about the same time to find the spot for a stamp worth a penny as it does for a rarity.

Boxes, however, are something I hadn't really thought about until after our trip to see Tom Isenhour's collection. Then I remembered that a few folks who visited the poor man's museum here at The Record's offices and have tried to buy a box which is full of old calendars and other miscellaneous items. Now understand, they didn't want what I had in the box, just the box itself, which reads on the side “Remington Standard Typewriter.” It is a wooden crate, not in very good shape, but it was pointed out to me that you can find an old typewriters at every antique store or flea market you go to, but the boxes just do not exist. The got thrown away, or used for kindling.

So I began looking around the shop and realized that I had managed to pick up several good boxes—all of which are empty—and are all harder to find than what came in them. Among them are a large Stetson hat box which was given to me by Sarah Payne Absher and her sister Betty Chloe, whose parents operated Payne Clothing in North Wilkesboro from forever till the early 1960s. I also have an old hat box from Spainhours, a retail fixture in Wilkes and surrounding counties for over 100 years, courtesy of Syd Spainhour, as well as a box for Her Majesty lingerie and sleepwear, also from Spainhours. I don't know where it came from, but I also found a Madame Alexander doll box for “Mary, Mary #451”, while empty, it is in good condition—perhaps Carl will read this and find me a Mary-Mary.

As I looked around, there are assorted wooden crates and boxes for everything from axe blades, to Winchester ammunition, Western's World Famous ammunition, Waters Extra Fine Sugar, Kraft cheese, Brunswick talking machines, and even a crate for Empire nuts, bolts and rivets from Port Chester, New York. These, like the typewriter box, make excellent displays as well as conversation pieces.

I'll finish with small appliances, all of which have the item in question still inside. There are two electric irons; a Betty Crocker steam version as well as a Graybar quick heating iron. The Graybar iron's box had wooden wedges glued inside at one end to keep it from sliding around in the box. There is a Hamilton Beach juicer attachment for their Model H mixer and my personal favorite, a Presto Hot-Dogger—not just still in the box, but a never opened box at that. The only way you can get an idea about what it looks like is from the illustration on the cover.

No, it doesn't take too much to make me happy.

I now suppose that the collectors addendum to “Do you want fries with that?” will have to become, “Do you have the box it came in?”

“Nevertheless, she persisted…”

HEATHER DEAN Reporter/ Photo Journalist

When I was about 7 years old, I remember playing in the yard at my grandmother’s house with my boy cousins, and one of their friends. So there we were, making believe, and I decided I was going to be the doctor. “You can’t be the doctor” my cousin’s friend said. “You’re a girl.” Neither I nor my boy cousins understood. “She can be whatever she wants” my younger cousin said, and that was that.

I did ask my mom about it later, because it never occurred to me that I “couldn’t” or that as a girl I was limited in any aspect. I was curious to know what “because you’re a girl” meant. The women in my family were strong, independent and secure in whom they were. It never occurred to me that my mother, her sisters, either of my grandmothers or any girl I knew for that matter, would ever be questioned in their endeavors. Especially either of my grandmothers- they were the first role models I had.

So when I asked my mom about the event she laughed and said that yes, some people felt it was a man’s world, but that with hard work and persistence, anyone could be anything they wanted to be. Take my mothers mother:

My grandmother, Betty Jane, was the Matriarch, and clearly always the one in charge. She served as a 2nd Lieutenant in the US Army Nurse Corps during WWII. She was one of the first women in her unit to get a pilots license. The man behind the desk told her women didn’t need to learn to fly, that’s what the male pilot was for. She persisted saying (and I quote) “I’m not going down in this plane and loosing my patients cause the pilot gets his ass shot. I will learn to fly.” Turns out, this is how my grandfather and grandmother met. He was in line behind her and saw the whole exchange, and promptly fell in love with the tenacious redhead. .She stayed in the medical profession after the war. .She was appointed as the first woman in North Carolina to the position of State Commander of the VFW1996-1997, and I stood and watched dumbfounded as Elizabeth Dole, and other notable people waited in line asked for my grandmother’s autograph at that event in Greensboro, NC. She was a life member of the National VFW, the National American Legion and the National AMVETS organization. She traveled all over the country to meetings for veterans. In the case of her grandchildren, she could stop you with a look, and we knew we were in trouble when the words “Oh for Pete’s sake!” came out of her mouth. Needless to say, this tiny 4 foot 11 inch tall Irish woman was a force to be reckoned with, as were my mother and her sisters. (In case you ever wondered where my sister and I, or my girls get it from.)

Looking back, I believe it was on that day I was instilled with my mother’s love of history. All genres, but specifically “herstory.” I learned about the suffragettes, and take my right to vote seriously and with gratitude; Grandmother Moses, who understood as much as Lady Liberty how important freedom was; Dolly Madison saving the Whitehouse; Victoria Woodhill, who in 1872 became the first woman to run for president; Amelia Earhart, who did the unthinkable in her time; and for whom my youngest is named; Joan of Arc, who raised a literal army and died for what she believed in; Frankie Silver, the first woman hanged in North Carolina for the murder of her physically abusive husband; Lilith; the first woman God created for Adam in the Garden of Eden, but who was too insubordinate (read: persistent) for the man; the list goes on, women’s right movements from the beginning of time, to the battles we still fight for our individual rights. My mom had her share of bra-burning-fight-the-the institution- hippie-chick stories, always persisting in her own right. For instance: even though Roe v. Wade had been passed in 1973, she was ridiculed by the women in the church when she decided to get her tubes tied in the 80’s after her third child, because apparently, that was a form of abortion and surely God would not approve of a woman taking control of her body like that.

But the 80’s was a long time ago, right? Women have come so far, becoming Doctors, Presidents of foreign countries, Senators, Congresswomen, CEO’s, Heads of State even. And yet, here it is, 17 years into a new millennium, and an esteemed Senator Elizabeth Warren, a professor of law and prominent scholar, was shushed by a man while speaking on the senate floor. What makes this even more ludicrous is that male senators before, and immediately after her, spoke the same words, reading from a three-decade-old letter from Dr Martin Luther King's widow, Coretta Scott King, then regarding Mr. Sessions being considered for federal district court judge in 1986, and pertaining to President Trump's pick for attorney general . Warren is now forbidden from participating in the floor debate over Sessions' nomination ahead of a confirmation vote. She has literally been silenced. Why? As Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R. Kentucky) so eloquently put it "She was warned. She was given an explanation. Nevertheless, she persisted."

Well, if I had chosen to believe that same kind of rhetoric when I was 7 Mr. McConnell, I would never have become the history making, award winning woman I am. Count me in as a rebel for the cause. . Mind you, I am by no means a feminist. I don’t think I’ve ever needed to be. I’ve always known I was just as good as anyone else, and time and again I’ve proved it to my self and others. I suspect it was all because of the fierce tenacity, sometimes stubborness, and persistence that continue to be handed down through the women in my mother’s lineage. That being said, I am also aware that not everyone is as fortunate as I am, to have such a strong, positive female influence in their lives. I also count myself beyond lucky that the men in my family have been secure enough to love, adore, and walk beside these women, blessed to be their chosen equals. Nevertheless, I will persist in helping those in my gender find their voice. I will persist in the “liberties and freedoms we hold so dear”. I will persist and “hold these truths to be self evident.” I will persist that we are “one nation… indivisible… with liberty and justice for all.” I will persist, and I will not be silenced.

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Practicing mindfulness

By LAURA WELBORN

On my journey to be more mindful in my life I attended a mindfulness workshop.

Research is showing that our brain becomes stronger and gives us the ability to rewire when we practice mindful activities. In as little as eight weeks our brain becomes thicker and develops neuroplasticity.

So how do we train our brain?

By practicing.

When we walk and let our brain just enjoy the moment, when we focus and become more intentional in what we do and when we are non-judgmental and act with kindness and compassion. Ringing a bell in our mind is to pause before we speak and ask ourselves:

Is it true? The right time to speak? Helpful to others? Kind?

The most powerful weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. Train your mind to see the good in everything.

Being positive and seeing the good does not mean ignoring the negative. Being positive and seeing the good means overcoming the negative. Next time you have a thought that is stressing you out, ask yourself these four questions that adapted from philosophical research by Alan Watts and Byron Katie:

Is this thought true? – This question can change your life. Be still and ask yourself if the thought you’re dealing with is true.

Can I be absolutely, 100 percent certain that it’s true? – This is another opportunity to open your mind and to go deeper into the unknown, to find the answers that live beneath what you think you know. Think about some contrasting possibilities beyond the narrow viewpoint of this one stressful thought.

How do I feel when I think this thought? – With this question, you begin to notice internal cause and effect. You can see that when you believe the thought, there is a disturbance that can range from mild discomfort to outright panic and fear. What do you feel? How do you treat the situation (or person) you’re thinking about, how do you treat yourself, when you believe that thought?

Who would I be, and what would I do differently, if I were not thinking this thought? – Imagine yourself in your situation (or in the presence of that person), without believing the thought. How would your life be different if you didn’t have the ability to even think this stressful thought? How would you feel? What else would you see? Which do you prefer – life with or without the thought? Which feels more peaceful and productive?

When you change your thoughts, you can choose your response and not react negatively to what we think is happening.

Stay tuned as I learn more about Mindfulness… Laura Welborn, Mediator

The Recorded Deed to Jerusalem

By EARL COX

Days after UNSC Resolution 2334 condemned Israeli settlements in the “occupied Palestinian territory” of Judea, Samaria and East Jerusalem as a “flagrant violation under international law” Jerusalem Mayor Nir Barkat issued a strong rebuke: The mayor and his planning-committee director announced the committee’s intent to approve building 618 previously planned housing units in East Jerusalem—a first step toward an additional 5,600 units in the city. “I’m not ever going to stop building. No construction will be stopped by me as mayor,” he said. While the Obama administration harmed its ally by strengthening its enemies, if President Trump holds to his promises perhaps things will change going forward but there is already talk of backpedaling.

Barkat is “politically correct” in the most positive sense of the phrase. He is also legally and historically correct. In property disputes over land ownership, lawyers search property records for deeds, liens and related issues in order to identify the real legal owner(s). They also use mandatory “discovery” to demand that the opposing party provide all relevant documents, inspections and depositions that pertain to the dispute. In the courtroom, the presiding judge determines whether the proceedings and evidence of both sides are represented in a fair and balanced way.

The U.S. abstention of Resolution 2334 and John Kerry’s specious rhetoric laying out his two-state agenda were mockeries of the these basic processes and premises of justice. As further evidence of’ the resolution’s shaky legal grounds, it conflicts with tenets of international law in the Palestine Mandate, UNSC Resolution 242, the Oslo Accords and Camp David Summit.

The Bible clearly defines ancient boundary lines and one of the oldest title deeds in the world is recorded in the Tanach, where King David purchased the future site of the Jewish Temple from Araunah the Jebusite for 600 gold shekels. David’s son, King Solomon built the First Temple on that site. There’s ample additional biblical, archeological, religious and historical evidence of Israel’s abiding connection to Jerusalem that pre-dates Palestinian claims. The Jews governed Israel for a thousand years, and lived there continuously for the past 3,300 years. According to Jerusalem Center for Public Affairs researcher Nadav Shragai, Jerusalem was the Jewish capital during that time, never a capital of any Arab or Islamic entity.

Despite Israel and the Jewish people’s deep and abiding historical, cultural and religious connection to Jerusalem, the Palestinians, who began to define themselves as a people only about 100 years ago, insist they will never sign a peace deal that does not include Israel’s surrender of East Jerusalem, including the Old City and the Temple Mount. (Under international law, this area is disputed, not “occupied.”) Meanwhile, the Palestinians continue to deny Israel’s right to exist and incite violence and terrorism against her. As Dr. Joel Fishman wrote, “It is simply not possible to build [a state] on a foundation of myth and ignorance.”

Mayor Barkat and many others rightly discerned the previous administration in Washington D.C. as being anti-Israel long before Resolution 2334 reared its ugly head. Over the past eight years the U.S. has pressured Israel to halt “illegal” Jewish construction in eastern Jerusalem. In recent years Barkat slammed the Obama Administration for criticizing Israel’s plans to expand the suburb of Ma'aleh Adumim—an effort to provide affordable housing in the over-crowded capitol. "I don't know of any city in the world whose regulator is the U.S. president," the mayor remarked. Efrat Mayor and pro-settler leader Oded Revivi added, “Israeli building policies are set in Jerusalem, not New York.” Based on the latest news reports, it now appears that the Trump Administration are starting to sideways waffle on the topic of settlements. Let’s hope these news reports are mistaken as they so often have been.

What country doesn’t have the right to its unified capital, and to develop and build it? I pray the Trump Administration will focus its efforts at the United Nations against terror and stand strong on Israel’s side against any and all attempts to delegitimize the only democracy in the Middle East.

Three Presidents and a possibility

By CARL WHITE

Life in the Carolinas

The Carolinas have undisputed claim to three U.S. presidents and the possibility of a fourth. And as with all good southern stories intrigue is not lacking.

I have written about our seventh president, Andrew Jackson, a Democrat, before, and he was certainly born in the Carolinas - the question being, which one, North or South? Both states have people with strong feelings about their side of the line. He was born March 15, 1767, and served as president between 1829-1837. Jackson was also known as the first “Citizen President.”

Jackson earned the nickname of Old Hickory for good reason, life was hard, his father died when he was 2 and his mother died when he was 14. His military activity started in his early teens as a courier during the American Revolutionary War, at which time he was captured and abused by the British Army. It is said that he refused to blacken the boots of his British captures.

A young Jackson would eventually leave the Carolinas for Tennessee and in 1801 that he would be appointed Colonel in the Tennessee militia and his political life would begin. His journey to the White House is legendary and so are his two terms as president.

Jackson would make the Hermitage, near Nashville, Tenn., his home and he would die there peacefully at the age of 78.

It was during the Jackson Presidency that Arkansas and Michigan would join the Union.

Our 11th President, James K. Polk, also a Democrat, was born Nov. 2, 1795, in Mecklenburg County, N.C. He served as president from 1845-1849.

Unlike President Jackson, President Polk had the benefit of a strong father and mother that inspired the values of patriotism, religious faith and a strong interest in politics.

At the age of 11, the Polk family homestead was sold and they moved to join his grandfather in Tennessee. Polk would return to North Carolina in January 1816 as a sophomore admitted to the University of North Carolina which at the time was a school with around 80 students. Polk would graduate with honors May 1818.

After graduation Polk returned to Nashville to study law and over the next few years he would serve in a variety of ways and would run for and win the seat for U.S. House of Representatives for Tennessee’s 6th congressional District in 1825, in 1827 Polk was reelected to congress.

It was in 1828 that Jackson ran for President again, Polk would advise Jackson on campaign matters and after the Jackson victory Polk would support the new administrations position in Congress.

Polk would become Speaker of the House where he would continue to work for the Jackson policies. Polk worked to create a more peaceful environment in the House and unlike Jackson and many others he never challenged anyone to a duel for insulting his honor. Polk is the only U.S. President to have served as Speaker of the U.S.p House of Representatives.

Polk would leave Washington for a while and serve as Tennessee Governor from Oct. 14, 1839 – October 15, 1841.

After an interesting campaign and commitment to only serve one term, James K. Polk would return to Washington and become the 11th president of the United States on March 4, 1845 at the age of 49, the youngest president of his time.

After his term as President he returned to Tennessee and died of cholera only three months later June 15, 1849.

During his term as President the states of Texas, Iowa and Wisconsin joined the union.

Our 17th President, Andrew Johnson, still another Democrat, was born December 29, 1808 in Raleigh. He served as president from 1865-1869. Johnson differed from President Jackson and President Polk as he did not run for the office of President of the United States and he did not pursue a law or military career.

Johnson was on the Lincoln ticket as Vice President and assumed the office because of the assassination of Abraham Lincoln.

His family was poor and he started out as an apprentice to a tailor in 1822. While he was still 17, he set out for Tennessee and in 1827 he married 16-year-old Eliza McCardle, who was the daughter of a local cobbler in Greenville Tenn. It would be his new wife that would teach Johnson how to read and write.

Johnson’s public service and political career started as an Alderman in 1803 and then Mayor of Greenville Tenn., then he served in the U.S. House of Representatives and went on to be elected Governor of Tennessee from 1853-1857.

In 1864 President Lincoln, would make a change from the Republican party and run for reelection under the National Union Party. Johnson was added to the ballot for Vice President and the campaign would turn in Lincoln’s favor later in September. Lincoln defeated George McClellan in the November 1864, electon.

Johnson would be sworn in as vice president on March 4, 1865. Vice President Johnson would become President Johnson on April 15, 1865.

With the end of the Civil War and being faced with Reconstruction and the mending of a nation President Johnson would have few days that were less then enormously challenging.

On Feb. 24, 1868, President Johnson, would become the first U.S. President to face impeachment proceedings. He was charged with violations of the Tenure of Office Act. Johnson was successful in maneuvering for an acquittal and after three months, it was close, with only one vote in his favor that lead to a not guilty ruling. President Johnson was acquitted; however, he was unable to secure the Democrats presidential nomination in 1868.

During the Johnson Presidency, Nebraska would join the Union.

The Abraham Lincoln National Historical Park is in LaRue County, Ky. It is stated that Abraham Lincoln was born there in a one room log cabin on Feb. 12, 1809. However, that is not the only location that claims to be the birth place of Abraham Lincoln.

We discovered The Bostic Lincoln Center in Rutherford County NC and it is their opinion that there is evidence that the 16th President of the United States may have been born on Puzzle Creek in Rutherford County, N.C.

As the story goes a woman by the name of Nancy Hanks (Lincoln’s mother’s name) was a “bound out” servant girl to the Abraham Enloe family in Rutherford County. It is said that while in care of the Enloe’s, Nancy would become pregnant and Enloe’s wife suspected that her husband may have been the cause of the new development.

In short, things become very stressful for everyone involved. Abraham Enloe’s wife’s anger increased with the birth of the Nancy’s boy child. Wanting to find peace Abraham struck a deal with Tom Lincoln, for $500, to take Nancy Hanks and the boy child away.

The question of President Lincoln’s place of birth and his real father has been subject of conversation and debate from a time before his presidency.

We do have a Carolina link to Lincoln that seems to be undisputed. The presidential couple who were together for almost 50 years, Andrew Johnson and Eliza McCardle, were married by Justice of the Peace Mordecai Lincoln, first cousin to Thomas Lincoln. That’s right Abraham Lincoln’s father, Maybe

Carl White is the executive producer and host of the award winning syndicated TV show Carl White’s Life In the Carolinas. The weekly show is now in its seventh year of syndication and can be seen in the Charlotte viewing market on WJZY Fox 46 Saturdays at 12 noon. For more on the show visit www.lifeinthecarolinas.com, You can email Carl White at [email protected].

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