I'M BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!
Okay so honestly I have been very very inconsistent over the years with just disappearing for periods of time due to various things 😂 So it probably seemed pretty normal to most people.
But it felt different on my side, so I'm excited to be back in business.
I took a month long hiatus! 31 days of not drawing digital art.
Its not something I talk about on here? But I've been suffering from some serious long term Art Burnout for.... a really really long time. Long enough that I should've taken a break probably years ago. It finally got so bad that I could barely draw. I was scared to do it (cause it always looked "bad" in my eyes [i'll come back to that]) and doing it was exhausting and disheartening.
I talked it over with somebody and realized that the fear and anger and frustration I felt towards my own artwork was uh. Not Normal or Healthy. And I finally committed to taking a real break for once.
I still drew a little bit by hand? Traditional art has always felt like it has lower stakes for me (i don't often share it online, and sometimes I don't even share it with friends) so I did some of that when I felt like it. But Digital art was completely off the table.
I had put such an immense pressure on myself to make my digital art perfect, to make as much of it as quickly as possible to satisfy something. It wasn't fun anymore. I'm proud of what i've made over the years! But for a long time now the stuff I've been making was made while hating every second of making it. With some rare exceptions.
I hated my art! It was a combination of Perfectionism, taking in too many external expectations, and the burnout. If you hate doing something its kinda hard to love it even when you want too lol. It wasn't "Bad" in the sense that the quality was low and it was ugly! It was "Bad" in the sense that it was unhealthy for me to keep doing it at that point in time.
I'm glad to report though, that with my hiatus officially over as of Wednesday last week: I am once again. In Love. With doing art, and being an artist :)
I put off taking a break for years cause I was scared that taking a break would mean that I would never achieve all the things I wanted to do with art. I was scared it was a stupid and lazy thing to do that would mean I'd never achieve my dreams. And Also even though I kinda hated drawing, I also loved making art. Its a weird duality that I can't even really explain??? I hated it but I also loved it. I wanted it but I also wanted to run from it. It wasn't until I was more mature and had more clarity and insight (and unfortunately also until the problems got worse) that I was finally able to let go of those fears and just do it.
And I'm really really glad I did. It was everything I needed. And I hope to strike a better balance in the future with art. Taking more breaks when I need them, or just when other things have my attention like reading or Video games (Some star rail got played during this time xD)
From the outside things probably aren't going to be that different?? At this point I don't really have any sure plans to post anything I've been drawing since my Hiatus ended. I might or I might not xD I'm still a hobbyist artist taking things at her own pace, but I hope that it shows how much happier I am :)
Whumptober 2023 is being officially put to rest by this post btw! I was in major burnout when that event started, and I'm ready to just, move on from all the past expectations I'd shoved on my shoulders. If I feel like filling any of the prompts or going back to any of the ideas I'd come up for it I will! But I'm not going to worry about doing it unless the desire sets in.
Thanks to everybody who's been so kind to me throughout my time on here as an artist! Ya'lls tags and screaming and kind words, the fanfic, the asks and the responses? Its been fantastic :) You guys have made me laugh, smile, and cry tears of joy. I hope from here that things only get better and sweeter! And if I have bad days again, that's okay too.
Here's to 2024 and whatever it may bring ya'll :D 🎉🎉✨✨🧡💜
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Wiiirrreeee, is there a swamp on theia?
Oh absolutely!
A very large portion of the lower east convex vertex in the focus continent is just a bunch of swampland. Along the rivers are a bit less stagnant but much older swampland, whereas the vast majority of land is stagnant overflood. Most of the water and plant life in the area is heavily endowed with the same magical essence you can find north west of the region, where Michael & his friends live.
A lot of the terrain is not considered habitable by most, and it's in these regions that you find a lot of plant people, treeple, fish people, pixies, or any other race that's heavily in tune with the earth & water.
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i need to share the absolute fucking Experience i had playing minecraft tonight. i'm gonna be emotional about it for days
so me and my friends like to play on this server that's pretty much just a bunch of minigames. one of them is Murder Mystery - of a group of - i think its 13/14 people - one person is randomly selected as the murderer (spawns with a sword), the other as the sheriff (spawns with a bow). the rest are innocent. the innocents can gain a bow by collecting coins. no one knows anyone's status unless the player shows their sword/bow. i'm doing a quest where, in order to get points, i need to kill the murderer.
so as the game start countdown begins, me and my pal are checking out this Red Link skin. it's pretty neat! we're all crouching and punching at each other, as one does. i feel a connection form with Red Link. we're buddies now. we're in this together.
so we're all running around the map. every time i see Red Link, we crouch and punch at each other. the game is going fine, we're having fun. i'm delighted that i've made a one-game friend.
then my friend says that Red Link is the murderer, and i literally have a hard time believing it. Red Link? my Red Link? no, they must be mistaken. we were together at the start. they had ample opportunities to kill me. it can't be Red Link. but whoever the murderer killed was the sheriff, and i needed to complete the quest - picking up the sheriff tombstone grants me the bow.
so i run, trying to find it, and i turn the corner.
there Red Link was, standing at the end of the hall, by the tombstone, with a sword in hand. i froze. i was so upset - not Red Link! not my dear companion! i was so sure that was it.
but i walked forward anyway, thinking that maybe if i dodged around them, grabbed the bow, and turned and shot fast enough, i could get them. the thought was actually distressing! Red Link didn't put the sword away. they watched me slowly approach. we stood on either side of the tombstone, and i expected Red Link to cut me down. i was well within reach of their sword.
Red Link calmly, still looking at me, moved to the side and past me. i panicked and grabbed the bow, ran to the corner, turned and drew - Red Link was already at the other end of the hall, running away. i didn't want to shoot, but i needed the kill - who knows when i'd get an opportunity to complete the quest again. it's a tough one.
i missed, thank fuck, but man. i was in shock. i thought i was a goner.
then, after the game where awards are given - the murderer, who killed them, who collected the most coins - i went up to Red Link and crouched. they crouched back.
then they left the game.
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i don’t think i’ll ever move on from how mtz and red dwarf are just. the same shows. they’re about a little group of people in space who are so bad at their jobs and/or do not do their jobs. they’re all always fighting but love each other more than anything. the protagonist is a purposeful subversion of your usual sci-fi protagonist by making him kind of so pathetic to varying degrees. his best friend is either a robot or arguably a robot and also they’re kind of ridiculously gay for each other despite having one sided beef that grows into absolute best friendship. i could write essays on how rimmer and lister are like if pleck and c-53 swapped roles and personalities. rimmer IS nermut if you put them in a room together they’d leave several hours later not shutting up about how they finally met someone who was On Their Level who UNDERSTOOD and APPRECIATED their career goals. one time nermut was very clearly about to get executed but he was COMPLETELY convinced he was getting a promotion—this would happen to rimmer. holly and bargie? okay sentient ship/ship ai nation. they’re both about The Horrors and how important it is to find love for life and for the people around you to get through it. this list does continue i’ve been thinking about this for months. these are the same shows in different fonts and it’s beautiful.
you know what’s insane though. mtz parodies basically every popular piece of sci-fi media in existence and yet there is not a Single red dwarf reference in here. if any of the cast had watched red dwarf there WOULD be a reference somewhere. But there isn’t. these guys don’t know they remade a british sitcom in podcast format. They don’t know how many hysterical episode premises they missed out on
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Oh yeah, if any of y'all have any questions about the Philippines, Filipino language, culture, history, and other Filipino things, feel free to send me an ask and I'll do my best to answer it this weekend!
I wanna start just doing this every so often since I love learning ew things and talking about them.
Note: I am not an expert by any means just an extremely nuerodivergent Filipino who had a hyperfixation on Filipino history since 7th grade. My only credentials is qualifying twice for national competitions lmao
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not me literally working on an assignment last night for ages and then being hit by cruel cruel life and then FORGETTING to send the document like 😭 and now i'm arguing with my professor and trying to prove that i did the assignment yday and didn't cheat LIKE WHAT IS LIFE LMAO
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