Tumgik
#Hospital Playlist Season 2
delicate44 · 1 year
Text
Our hungry bums are actually in-laws 😭😭
5 notes · View notes
Text
I can’t believe I won’t have Kyung-ho every week again 😭😭😭
I’ll probably rewatch ccir for about a month after this.
but i really really need more Kyung-ho lead roles.
15 notes · View notes
My loves!!! I miss them!!! Take me back!
3 notes · View notes
Text
kdrama slow burns so hard it makes you feel like you worked for a single back hug
0 notes
dramaism · 2 years
Text
suddenly felt the urge to rewatch hospital playlist - at least 1 episode a day
but then i thought that I'm not ready to cry every single day after work
6 notes · View notes
ellsey · 2 years
Text
Definitive Hospital Playlist Song Ratings (Season 1)
Lonely Night- Fine start, establishes Songhwa can't sing, kind of a bop, plus the only time Ikjun gives her this look:
Tumblr media
Don't be too concerned you'll learn to love her singing friend. 8/10
2. Introduce Me a Good Person - It's a good song, but it also confuses me. Like Songhwa sounds just fine? Is this because it's a memory and someone is misremembering? Is this the only song she can sing? Anyway whatever this is kind of a bop and also I love their dorky younger looks. 8.5/10
3. Aloha- Karaoke, frosted tips, one-upping Ikjun, Seokhyeong's speaking verse, I BELIEVE, this song literally has it all. 10/10
4. Canon- Everyone gets to show off, but I dock a point for not getting to hear them sing. 9/10
5. Oh! What a Shiny Night- Ngl I love everything about this song. The background vocals are my fave, and the way it dies off as people run off is A+. 11/10
6. At the Subway Stop In Front of City Hall- Ok, this song is kind of a grower. The beginning is mid, but I dare you not to sing along with all the la las at the end. Plus bonus acoustic guitar! 8/10
7. You Always- Um, I didn't even remember this song hahaha. It's fine. Seokhyeong gets to do some fancy stuff on the keyboard and the song is kind of cute. 7/10
8. With My Tears- Ikjun is just singing this time to amazing effect. He puts his whole heart into this song plus gets to show off his range. 10/10
9. Met You By Chance- Ummm yes Songhwa slay me with your walking bass lines girl. I was hardcore clapping along with Rosa. 11/10
10. Confession Is Not Flashy- Actually I didn't recognize this one until it was a few lines in oops. Also Ikjun switching from acoustic to electric guitar is a power move ok. Plus Jeongwon vocals! 9/10
11. I Knew I Love- I. AM. SCREAMING. The layers! THE CONFESSION OF FEELINGS. The drunken karaoke that shifts to band practice. THE LOOKS IKJUN IS GIVING SONGHWA. I AM DECEASED. 15/10
12. Me to You, You to Me- Everyone gets to sing! Christmas decorations! Harmony! Also this song is a straight banger. 12/10
5 notes · View notes
sosrantings · 2 years
Text
YANG SEOK HYEONG HAS THE VOICE OF AN ANGEL AND THIS SONG HITS ME RIGHT IN THE FEELS EVERY TIME
*sobbing*
Tumblr media
4 notes · View notes
brightsoulblogger · 1 year
Text
As we constantly enjoy watching Korean dramas, which promote their action thrill adventures for the viewers, they increase the thrill in our lives. The director of Korean dramas constantly tries to predict the audience’s thoughts and craft their productions to give viewers from all over the world an exhilarating experience. Millions of Korean episodes have been downloaded to date. However, if you’re looking for the best project or drama to occupy your free time, you’ve come to the correct website since we’ve compiled a list of the top 12 Korean, Dramacool of 2022 that you absolutely must watch and evaluate.
0 notes
itsfairly · 8 months
Text
cw: drabble, sfw, pregnant!reader, established relationship fluff, fluff, fluff. not proofread
a/n: you can thank hospital playlist for this. i saw that scene in season 2 and just knew that would be what nanami would do. so yeah, papamin has been in my mind for a long time.
Tumblr media
When you first told Nanami you were pregnant, he wanted to show you how much of a good dad he would be. Yes, he would pamper you like never before and stay by your side so that you wouldn't have to lift a finger, letting you and the baby take it easy until the birth. But as the date of delivery came closer and closer, he asked you if he could record the birth.
It wasn't a weird request by any means, many parents wanted that memory when their little ones left the womb and came into the world to officially become a human. While many may think of birth as disgusting or traumatizing to the point where the mere mention of the process sent shivers down their spine, it made Nanami feel butterflies in his stomach. This was his child we're talking about, his child with you. Of course he wanted to capture their first cries, to remember whatever feelings and thoughts you two—three—had at the moment. It was a huge thing he wanted to keep somewhere other than your memories.
Besides, all good dads record their kid's birth, right? It was something Nanami believed. It was one thing to pamper your child from the womb and another one to have them right in front of you. You couldn't capture the moment he found out you were pregnant, but he could record when they came to the world as a little welcome. It was more than keeping a memory, it was showing how dedicated he was to being a good father.
His excitement made it hard to say no, not that you would anyway. It was a simple request. Even if you knew you wouldn't be in your finest appearance when delivering the baby, you couldn't deny it was a moment you wanted to look back fondly. You could see how much recording it meant to him and you couldn't say anything but yes.
As your belly grew bigger and bigger, doctor's appointment after doctor's appointment, it was time to get the camera ready.
It was nerve-wracking, to say the least. You looked so nervous and your screams didn't ease his nerves. It was a weird feeling if he was honest. Here you were, screaming and crying at nothing and everything on your way to the hospital that made his heart clench from his own hopelessness in trying to ease the pain. But on the other side, it was your little one causing you all this because they were ready to greet their parents after months of hearing your voices, kicking their way out of you. Bittersweet didn't cut it for Nanami, worried for you but excited for the baby.
His nerves finally eased when you arrived at the hospital and the two—almost three—were rushed to the delivery room. His hand was tight around yours, but not as tight as yours once he told you to take all your pain out on him, holding onto him for dear life with a white-knuckle grip. He tried to calm you down in any way he could as you headed to the room, anything that would make the pain more bearable, anything that would remind you it would be worth it in the end for the two of you.
It wasn't until you were settled in the room and the doctor and nurses were now in their positions to assist you in the birth that Nanami was told he could start recording now. Kissing your hand before letting it go, Nanami takes out the camera and stands far away to let the medics do their job in keeping you and the baby safe, pressing record once he found a good enough angle to capture the arrival of your little one.
Screaming and crying became louder and more desperate, making him grip the camera tighter. But with each push, Nanami realized something through the camera screen. As the doctors were telling you to push and you groaned and yelled each time, he realized how strong you were. The scene before him would be one others would think of as stressful, but he thought it was beautiful. That you were beautiful. All this strength and determination you had through the pain to get your baby out safely sent an arrow through his heart like all those years ago he met you. Sweat and tears may be covering your face, your hair falling and sticking to it strand by strand, and your expression wasn't what you called picture perfect, but you were beautiful.
He may have done everything while you were pregnant—provided for you, cleaned the house, built the nursery room, soothed your craving at 2am despite everything being closed, comforted you through your mood swings, showered you with love and adoration...and it still didn't feel enough to what you were doing right this second. You were giving him a child. You, you wonderful you.
When his own tears roll down his cheeks, he doesn't wipe them away, accepting them as part of this joyful experience you were giving him. He just felt blessed to have you so willing and determined and strong to be doing something as demanding as giving birth, he doesn't think he can emphasize how amazing you were to him right now. You were his adoration, now and forever.
With a final push, you lay back down on the hospital bed and a new high-pitched set of cries join the world. Your baby was here with you, all safe and sound thanks to you.
Nanami doesn't think twice as his feet guide him to you, placing his free hand on your head and caressing it gently. His tears continue to fall down his face, smiling at you so widely you were sure it was the anesthetic acting up. It is when his lips kiss all over your face, soft and wet from the tears, that you realize that this moment is real. As Nanami continued to caress you and pepper every area of your face with kisses, your baby making his presence known with his cries, the camera continued to record the moment. The only difference is that the focus wasn't on the baby, but rather on the husband and wife moment between you two.
I love you, honey. I love you so much, my love.
You did amazing. Thank you for bringing our child to us.
You're so strong, you did it.
All that praise and affection made it easy to see how much of a tender moment this was for the two of you. A moment that was now shared on your baby's birth video. The only difference is that now, instead of showing how your little one came into the world, it is showing how you brought your baby to the world. Nanami loves that idea far more.
That day, Nanami showed that he would be a good father. But he also showed that he would be an even better husband than he has ever been before. Both for you and your little baby girl. That video is enough of a proof.
497 notes · View notes
warabidakihime · 3 months
Text
Rules and Roses Chapter 2
Tumblr media
★ characters: kibutsuji muzan x reader x akaza
★ plot summary: Kibutsuji Muzan has finally decided to expand his empire, and the way he intends to do so is by running for the highest political position. With you, his darling wife, at his side, he believes he can achieve and have everything the world has to offer. He is, after all, the Phoenix of Phario.
★ fic playlist: sometimes, same day, as time stops, wolf’s song (this is also the vision board for the fic). 
★ content warnings : implied violence and abuse, profanities, toxic relationships, smut.
★ Previous Chapter
a/n:
hello!!!
first of all, i am so sorry for taking so long to update this story. ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و ♡
life happened and i got sooo busy. the time i uploaded this fic was when i just started at my new workplace and shortly after a few weeks, i was already preoccupied with work. at first, i was laser-focused on getting used to my new work and the culture. then later on, i found myself playing a more important role in the office that required my undivided attention lol. besides that, so many things happened in my personal life as well that i didn't have the time and energy to write.
btw i'm now a writer by profession as well so oftentimes i would feel drained af after writing corporate write-ups. tbh, i also got hit by writer's block, especially for this fic because the plot i have in mind for it is lowkey intricate, and for the most part, i haven't decided on what route i should take story-wise. so during those 2 years, i was constantly trying to reconstruct the story in my head, and here we are!
i'm back but i'm not so sure about updating regularly as i'm still incredibly busy, but i will do my best! the latest kny seasons inspired me to write again (aka my crush for muzan lol).
hopefully, everyone is still here to read this. ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و ♡
as always, comments and kudos are highly appreciated!
happy reading!
-
"Can you outline your key policy platforms should you be elected President of Phario? Given your extensive background in the human resource industry as well as your rich connections owing to your business ventures in Obelisk Kibutsuji, do you first plan to address the pressing issue of the national unemployment rate?"
"Indeed, that's correct. As President, one of my top priorities will be to strengthen our nation's workforce, which is crucial for advancing our economy. I have a comprehensive plan focused on job creation, vocational training, and support for small businesses. These initiatives will not only reduce unemployment but also stimulate innovation and competitiveness within our economy.
I also aim to implement policies that ensure equal access to education, equipping our citizens with the skills needed for the evolving job market. Healthcare reform is high on my agenda. I'll ensure healthcare assistance is accessible to everyone, public hospitals are well-maintained, and healthcare workers are fairly compensated and protected by the state in any dire situations. Additionally, I'll push for technological advancements and infrastructure development to attract both local and foreign investments.
Addressing social issues is equally important, and as a devoted ally of these communities, I'm committed to fighting all forms of discrimination, especially against women and the LGBTQ+ community. We must ensure everyone, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, or identity, has equal opportunities and protections under the law.
Moreover, I'll advocate for the rights and welfare of people with disabilities, ensuring they have access to the necessary resources and support to lead fulfilling lives. This includes improving accessibility in public spaces and promoting inclusive employment practices.
Animal welfare will also be a significant focus. We need to enact and enforce laws that protect animals from abuse and ensure humane treatment.
Lastly, I'll champion the rights of minorities and immigrants. Our nation is built on the strength of its diversity, and it's imperative we create an inclusive society where everyone feels valued and respected. This includes reforming immigration policies to be fair and humane and implementing programs that support the integration and empowerment of minority communities.
In essence, my administration will be dedicated to creating a sustainable and inclusive economic environment where every Pharian has the opportunity to thrive and contribute to our nation's progress."
Muzan stood confidently at the podium, a modest yet proud smile gracing his face after addressing a journalist's question amidst a room bustling with media personnel.
Today was the day where presidential candidates shared their platforms, which also served as an open forum for engaging with the press and fielding inquiries on a wide array of topics—from current events to personal matters.
With his seasoned composure before cameras and crowds, Muzan navigated the spotlight effortlessly. His articulate delivery drew admiration from all corners as he outlined his plans for the presidency, filling you with pride as you watched from the audience.
Among the attendees, your smile beamed with pride and unconditional support for him. Akaza, who is sitting right beside you, maintained a stoic demeanor outwardly, though inwardly, he couldn't deny a hint of impressed regard. Muzan's comprehensive platform and commanding presence left an undeniable impact on him.
Eloquence had always been Muzan's forte, a skill honed through years of being a businessman and somewhat of a public figure, as among his peers and in the business landscape in general, he is well-revered and widely celebrated.
Beyond his ability to articulate ideas, he possessed a magnetic charisma—an invaluable trait for navigating the intricate world of politics and public service.
Several hours later, the policy speech slash press conference finally ended, and now you were on your way to meet up with Muzan at the lobby of the hotel where the gathering was held when a few journalists spotted you among the sea of people who were also exiting the function room.
Akaza was right behind you and is also on full alert, an important instruction your husband told him when he appointed him as your personal bodyguard a few years back. Committed to his duty, he stood there in a stance where he is ready to take action should anything happen that is out of the ordinary.
Mics were stretched out and placed within just a few inches of your face, and one of them took the liberty to ask you a question: "What are your thoughts on Kibutsuji Muzan's campaign platforms?” 
Very much like your husband, you also wore a modest yet confident smile on your face as you held eye contact with the journalist who asked you that question before displaying your own version of eloquence as you answered,
"To say that I am proud while listening to him share and advocate for the causes he wholeheartedly believed in would be the biggest understatement of the decade," you said with a fond chuckle before continuing, "even before he filed for his candidacy and even way before he became the man we all know now, he has always been outspoken about these things. He would always share with me his desire of making significant changes in the world, hoping no more children would have to endure what he did. As many of you know, Muzan, my dear husband, came from very humble beginnings, and unlike me, he has faced challenges far beyond my own. His vision and intuition surpass that of most, and so, as cliché as it may sound, his words and strong convictions carry a weight and authenticity that are strong enough to enable him in doing the impossible and inspire others to believe that a better future is within our grasp."
Akaza listened intently to your answer, finding himself captivated by your words. The way you addressed the press made you sound like a candidate yourself who's also sharing her platform. In that moment, he couldn't help but feel an overwhelming surge of pride as he continued to absorb your statements.
The journalists surrounding you mirrored his sentiment, clearly impressed by your response—no surprise from the esteemed Ballerina Queen of Phario.
It had been quite some time since you last entertained interviews, having retired and chosen to stay away from public engagements.
"Among the plethora of initiatives he wishes to take action on once he's elected, what resonated with you the most?"
You paused, contemplating the list of campaigns your husband had presented earlier. Just as you were about to respond, an arm encircled your waist and gave it a tender squeeze.
It was Muzan.
"Knowing my wife's love for animals, I'm certain she's most excited about what I have planned for animal welfare," Muzan interjected warmly.
You playfully rolled your eyes, eliciting amusement from not only your husband and your respective bodyguards but also the press. "You say that as if it's a bad thing," you quipped.
Muzan chuckled fondly. "Not at all, my love. Your passion for animals is one of the many reasons I fell for you."
The same journalist who had asked you the second question now directed his attention to Muzan, eager for his response. "Based on the most recent public survey, you're likely the most favored candidate to win the elections. What can you say about that, Sir Kibutsuji?"
Muzan smiled bashfully at the reporter, his eyes reflecting a mix of humility and determination. "I'm incredibly honored and thankful that our fellow countrymen have placed such faith and confidence in me. It's a humbling reminder of the trust they have in our vision for a brighter future. This campaign has always been about bringing real change to Phario, addressing the pressing issues our nation faces with innovative solutions and inclusive policies. The support we're seeing reflects not just my efforts, but the collective desire of our people for progress and unity."
He paused briefly, his gaze sweeping across the room, before continuing with renewed conviction, "Though I would like to emphasize that I don't take this trust lightly, it actually fuels my commitment to serve with integrity and purpose, to listen to the voices of every Pharian, and to lead with compassion and foresight."
By now, the press was highly satisfied with the answers both of you had given, granting you the freedom to depart. Clearly spent after the eventful day, you exchanged farewells and well-wishes before going your separate ways.
With Muzan's arm still draped around your waist, he guided you towards the grand entrance of the hotel. Meanwhile, Akaza made his way to the basement parking lot to retrieve your car, preparing to drive you both home. Kokushibo remained close to Muzan, ensuring your security as you awaited the car's arrival.
Turning to Muzan, unfazed by the bustling activity around you, you placed a tender kiss on his lips, smiling warmly. "Great job out there, my love. You did so well today. I'm incredibly proud of you."
Clearly elated, Muzan mirrored your smile and returned your affection with a gentle kiss on your forehead. "Thank you, darling. Your support means everything to me."
"Truly, I was beaming throughout your speech. You were absolutely amazing. Phario is fortunate to have such an admirable leader like you," you praised sincerely.
Right there and then, Muzan couldn't help but raise his eyebrow and playfully smile at you, prompting a confused raise of your own eyebrow.
"What's that look for?" you asked.
Muzan shook his head with a playful smirk before replying, "You're not showing favoritism now, are you, my love? I know you adore me, but let's keep it fair, hmm?" he teased, his tone light-hearted and affectionate.
You rolled your eyes at his playful accusation. "Ha-ha. Very funny, Muzan. I'll take it back, then."
Muzan laughed wholeheartedly, drawing attention once again. "I was just joking!" He then smiled warmly at you, his eyes reflecting pride. "Thank you," he said sincerely. "Hearing that from you means more than any applause, you know?"
You reached out to pinch his cheeks. "You play too much sometimes, you know?" you said with a chuckle before continuing, "But like I said, hearing you speak today—and in all those times you shared your aspirations with me from when we were students up to now, as you finally have the opportunity to make all come true—it's evident how deeply committed you are. Beyond your skills and capabilities, your passion is what makes you so compelling, Muzan. It's what makes me believe in you, too."
Minutes later, while waiting by the entrance, Akaza finally pulled up with the car. You and Muzan bid farewell to those around you before stepping into the comfort of your vehicle.
As the city lights blurred past the windows, you reflected on the day's events.
"You know," you began, glancing at Muzan beside you, "I have a feeling your speech today touched more hearts than just mine."
Muzan smiled softly, intertwining his fingers with yours. 
"I hope so. Though the election is still months away, and who knows how things might shift, that's why I don't want to take any of this for granted. I'm in this for the long haul. You'll be there with me, won't you?"
He looked over to you, and in that moment, despite his big words, he looked absolutely adorable, with his ruby eyes shining at you and his lips slightly pouty as he waited for your response, which you gladly provided through the means of placing yet another sweet and passionate kiss on his lips and squeezing his hand reassuringly. 
"I'll always be here for you, Muzan, through every challenge and triumph."
"I love you," he whispered lovingly, his expression sincere and heartfelt.
"And I love you," you replied with equal affection.
With a comforting squeeze of your hand, you nestled against Muzan's shoulder, feeling a sense of contentment as the car navigated through familiar streets towards home.
Meanwhile, in the driver's seat, Akaza's face remained unreadable. He was outwardly indifferent to the tender exchange between you and Muzan, but inwardly, he was seething with rage.
You think you're so clever, spouting all those promises and pretty words, playing the saint for the public eye. But I see through you. You're nothing but a manipulative snake, a liar wrapped in a facade of righteousness.
His gaze hardened and his grip on the wheel tightened as he stared ahead, the streetlights casting shadows on his determined expression.
One day, your mask will slip. 
I will fucking rip it off your face, even if it's the last thing I do.
172 notes · View notes
doctorbitchcrxft · 3 months
Text
In My Time of Dying | Supernatural Series Rewrite | Dean Winchester x Reader
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader (Eventual ?)
Warnings: canon violence, canon gore, hospitals and death and fun stuff like that
Word Count: 2997
A/N: Surprise! It's time for season 2! And as an extra treat, I'm gonna publish episode 2 with this one since it's a little short. Happy reading!! Thank you guys for all the love and support!
Mobile Supernatural Series Rewrite Masterlist
Supernatural Series Rewrite Masterlist
Supernatural Series Rewrite Playlist
Tumblr media
You were completely pinned down beneath the side of the car that had been pushed into your lap in the accident. You clung to Dean still, afraid to move your upper-half and unable to move your bottom. You listened to the slowing rhythm of his heartbeat and willed him to stay alive for you.
Your eyes opened at the sound of Sam groaning.
“Sam!” you exclaimed. 
He groaned again, moving his head a little to the direction of the sound of your voice. “(Y/N)?”
Suddenly, the hinges were ripped off the driver’s side door to reveal the demon-possessed driver of the eighteen-wheeler that had struck the Impala.
“Back. Or I'll kill you, I swear to god,” Sam stated firmly.
“You won't. You're saving that bullet for someone else.”
Sam cocked the Colt. “You wanna bet?”
You looked on in fear before the demon poured out of the man, and he collapsed to the ground. You heard the sound of the gun uncocking, and Sam dropped his head back in relief.
“Oh my god!” you heard the trucker’s voice say. “Did I do this?”
“Dean, come on,” you whined. “Please.”
Sam called his brother’s name and told the trucker to call 911. He did so despite his panic. After what felt like forever, emergency services were to you. The EMTs had to pry you off of Dean, and you wailed in agony as they moved your sore body away from him. “No, please! I have to stay with him!”
“Ma’am, don’t fight us, please. We don’t want to hurt you more,” the EMT strapping you into a stretcher and neck brace said. She began to shout your blood pressure and vitals to the uniformed people surrounding you as you called out to Dean again. “Please! Just tell me he’s okay!”
No one would answer you.
“Is he even alive?!”
***
As soon as the doctors told you you could go see Dean, you leapt out of the bed as well as you could on your throbbing leg and bruised rib cage. Thankfully, that was as serious as your injuries got. You had no idea what the Winchesters’ situations were. 
You limped down the hallway to Dean’s room just down the hall from yours and took a sharp breath in horror. Wires were hooked up to every part of him. He was intubated, and machines steadily beeped around him. His chest was exposed with electrodes hooked up to it. His forehead had a deep cut running down the center of it, and his body remained lifeless. You tentatively walked over to his bedside and sat in the empty chair next to it. You held his hand tightly and kissed it repeatedly. “Dean, you have to come back to me, please.” Tears streamed down your face.
Sam walked in the room just after you did, giving you his puppy dog eyes at the sight of you holding his brother’s hand and Dean’s body. “Oh, no,” he said.
You dropped Dean’s hand long enough to hobble over to Sam and hug him as tightly as your damaged body would allow. “I’m so glad to see you, man. Are you okay?”
He nodded. “Are you?”
“All things considered, yeah,” you replied.
A doctor entered the room behind you and Sam. “Your father's awake. You can go see him if you like.”
“Doc, what about my brother?” Sam asked.
“Well, he sustained serious injury: blood loss, contusions to his liver and kidney. But it's the head trauma I'm worried about. There's early signs of cerebral edema,” the doctor explained.
“Well, what can we do?” You looked between Sam and the doctor worriedly. 
“Well, we won't know his full condition until he wakes up.” The doctor paused. “If he wakes up.”
Your eyebrows shot up. “If?”
“I have to be honest, most people with this degree of injury wouldn't have survived this long. He's fighting very hard. But you need to have realistic expectations.”
Your chest felt like someone was squeezing the air out of you. You began to hyperventilate as you made your way back over to Dean. Using his bed for support, you eased yourself back down into the chair and picked up his hand again.
Sam looked at you sadly before exiting the room, presumably to go see his father.
“It’s gonna be fine,” you muttered. “John ‘ll know what to do. You’re gonna wake up, and I’m gonna tell you everything. You have to come back to me, so I can tell you.” Tears streamed steadily down your face. “You have to come back, Dee. You’re my best friend. I don’t know what I’d do without you, man. I… I need you here. I need you.” You brought his hand up to your lips and just held it there as you sobbed. After a while, you drifted off, crying and holding onto Dean tightly.
***
It had been hours of sitting next to Dean and praying to a god you didn’t believe in that he’d wake up and this would all be over. You needed to tell him the feelings you’d been holding in for the better half of a year now. You needed him to know how much he meant to you.
You just needed to talk to him. And so, you did. “Dean, I’ve never told you this— in fact, I feel weird saying it now— but you matter more to me than anybody else in my life has. You just… you make my day better just by being in it. And I hope I do the same for you.
“Y’know, I never really hated you. You frustrated me so fucking much, but I could never hate you.” You drew in a breath. “I figured out that the reason I thought I hated you was because you challenged me. You told me you found me intimidating, but you never treated me like I was. That’s the difference between you and most other people. You’re fearless. Completely. It scares me sometimes, honestly. But you make me stronger, Dean. And I just… I hope I make you feel half as much as you make me feel. There’s so much I have to tell you when you wake up. I probably won’t say any of this to you while you’re awake— y’know, vulnerability and all that— but… I just needed to say it in case—” Your throat caught. “In case I never see you again.”
***
Another hour had gone by of you sitting with Dean. You refused to move from your spot to eat or drink or go to the bathroom. All that mattered was that you kept your eyes on him. You told yourself that if you could still feel or see him, then he was here. And that was enough.
You stared at his peaceful features. You remembered for a moment what he’d looked like sleeping, and you could almost see it now. However, the wires and tubes obstructing your view kept you grounded in the horrible reality that was the present moment: you and Sam may be leaving without him.
Your heart rate picked up as that thought crossed your mind and began to race even more as Dean flatlined.
“Help, help!” you screamed. You raced out into the hallway. “Code Blue, room 202! Code Blue!” 
Doctors and nurses immediately responded to your call and rushed behind you into the room. You watched in horror as they began to try and resuscitate him.
Sam had apparently heard your cries and ran down the hallway to you.
“Sam, he flatlined, he—” You buried your face in his chest, and he guided you into the room against the far wall. 
“Still no pulse,” a nurse said. You couldn’t bear to watch as they shocked his lifeless body.
Sam suddenly stiffened against you just as the frantic beeping of the monitors quieted. 
“We have a pulse. We're back into sinus rhythm,” the nurse said.
You let go of Sam and breathed deeply as you turned to his brother. You couldn’t get to him due to the doctors and nurses still fussing about, but you smiled briefly at the fact that he was still here. You looked up at the younger brother. “What is it?”
“Nothing, I just thought I heard something,” he said looking around confused. “It felt like Dean.”
You furrowed your eyebrows at him. “What do you mean?”
“Like, he was there, just out of eyeshot or something. I don't know if it's my psychic thing or what, it— But do you think it's even possible? I mean, do you think his spirit could be around?”
You shrugged, suddenly feeling embarrassed of the things you’d admitted to Dean’s unconscious body. “Anything’s possible.”
“Well, there's one way to find out.” Sam began to leave Dean’s room. 
“Where are you going?”
“I gotta pick something up. I'll be back. Let me go tell my Dad.”
***
About an hour later, you still sat holding Dean’s right hand. You couldn’t let go now that you’d almost lost him a second time. Sam reentered the room. He was clutching a brown paper bag with an oblong object in his arms. 
“Welcome back,” you said. “What’s that?”
Sam seemed embarrassed. “I, uh, almost don’t wanna say.” He pulled out a Ouija Board.
You snorted. “Seriously?”
He ignored you and looked around the room at nothing. “Hey. I think maybe you're around. And if you are, don't make fun of me for this, but um, well, there's one way we can talk.” He sat the box and board on the floor in front of Dean’s bed. You looked on eagerly.
“Dean? Dean, are you here?” He put two fingers on each hand on the planchette. Moments later, it moved to “YES” on the board.
“Sam, don’t tell me you’re doing that,” you breathed out. “Or do, I don’t know which answer I want.”
“It's good to hear from you, man,” Sam laughed. “It hasn't been the same without you, Dean.”
The pointer began to slide around the board. “Dean, what? H? U? Hunt? Hunting? What, are you hunting?”
The pointer slid back to "YES."
“It's in the hospital; what you're hunting? Do— Do you know what it is?” Sam paused and gained his composure. “What is it?”
The pointer slid across the board too fast for you to read from your position next to Dean’s body. 
“A reaper. Dean. Is it after you?”
You watched with bated breath as the pointer slid to “YES.”
“If it's here naturally, there's no way to stop it,” Sam murmured. “Man, you're, um—” He got up from the ground and began to pace.
“No, no, no,” you said, looking over to Dean’s peaceful features. “You’re not fucking leaving me, dammit. There’s gotta be a way.”
“Dad'll know what to do.” Sam rushed out of the room, leaving the Ouija board on the ground.
You slowly stood and moved over to the board. You immediately missed the feeling of his hand in yours, even if he couldn’t hold back. You sat before the board and let out a shaky breath, placing your hands on the planchette. “Dee, you still here?”
The planchette slid to “YES” before returning to the middle of the board.
You huffed out an anxious breath. “Did you, um, did you hear what I said earlier?”
It slid back to “YES.”
“Oh, God, um, I’m sorry, I didn’t want to tell you until you were awake again,” you rushed out. “I didn’t— I’m sorry— Can you—”
“S” “L” “O” “W” “D” “O” “W” “N” the board spelled out.
You laughed shakily. “Sorry.” You paused. “Do you— Do you feel the same way?”
The planchette hesitated before sliding over to “YES.” A smile you couldn’t contain spread across your face. “Well, I sure as hell ain’t lettin’ you die now.”
Sam returned moments later carrying his father’s journal. “Hey. So Dad wasn't in his room.”
“Where is he?” you asked.
“Who knows? Maybe there's something here.” He tapped the journal before leafing through it. He stopped on the page that said “Reapers.” 
“How’s this supposed to help us, Sam? We already know we can’t kill ‘em,” you stated.
“I know, I know, I just… I thought maybe there’d be something else here. A way to… bargain with ‘em or something.”
You smiled at him sadly. Not knowing what else to say, you told him, “I know he appreciates that you’re not givin’ up on him, Sammy.”
***
Hours later, Sam had poured through almost every page of the journal. He paced around the room and began talking to Dean’s spirit. “Dean, are you here? I couldn't find anything in the book. I don't know how to help you. But I'll keep trying, all right? As long as you keep fighting.
"I mean, come on you can't, you can't leave me here alone with Dad. We'll kill each other, you know that.” He stopped and stood over you, looking down at his brother. “Dean, you gotta hold on. You can't go, man, not now. We were just starting to be brothers again. Can you hear me?”
***
You had even slept with Dean’s hand in yours through the night. Sam had gone in and out of the room a few times, but never John.
“Sam, what do we do, man?” You brushed a hand over your eyes, feeling exhausted and fueled by emotion all at once. 
He shook his head. “I’m thinkin’, okay?” he snapped.
“Sorry,” you muttered after a moment. 
“Me, too,” he said. 
Suddenly, Dean shot up and gasped, choking on the tube in his throat.
“Help! I need help!” you called into the hallway. 
***
“I can't explain it. The edema's vanished,” the doctor explained. “The internal contusions are healed. Your vitals are good. You have some kind of angel watching over you.”
“Thanks, doc,” Dean said. 
Your stomach sank knowing Dean didn’t remember what you’d said to him while he’d been unconscious, but you felt comforted knowing he felt the same way. You’d tell him when he was out of that crummy hospital gown, that somehow, he still managed to make look attractive.
Dean turned to his brother. “So, you said a Reaper was after me?”
You and Sam nodded.
“How'd I ditch it?”
You shrugged. “We don’t know. You really don’t remember… anything?”
“No. Except this pit in my stomach. (Y/N), something's wrong.”
The three of you turned your head to a knock at the door. John limped in for the first time you’d seen him since the accident. You fought the urge to start yelling at him about how he hadn’t come to see his son.
“How you feeling, dude?” John asked his son.
“Fine, I guess. I'm alive.”
John smiled sadly for a reason you couldn’t place. “That's what matters.”
“Where were you last night?” Sam was angry.
“I had some things to take care of.”
Sam scoffed. “Well, that's specific. Did you go after the demon?”
“No.”
“You know, why don't I believe you right now?”
John half-smiled despite the situation. “Can we not fight?” he pleaded. “You know, half the time we're fighting, I don't know what we're fighting about. We're just butting heads. Sammy, I— I've made some mistakes. But I've always done the best I could. I just don't want to fight anymore, okay?”
Sam cocked his head to the side. “Dad, are you alright?”
He nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I'm just a little tired. Hey, son, would you, uh, would you mind getting me a cup of caffeine?”
Sam left you and Dean with John.
“I, uh, have a thing. At a… place,” you mumbled awkwardly, leaving the room. You stood outside and waited for Sam to return, bouncing on your heels and thinking about how and when you were going to tell Dean how you felt for the second time.
You were pulled out of your thoughts by John putting a hand on your shoulder. Strangely, he pulled you into a hug. “I’m happy I ran into you in Jericho. Thanks for watching my boys.” And with that, he left. You watched him retreat back to his room for a moment before heading back in to see Dean. 
“Hey,” you said awkwardly.
“Hey,” he responded, seeming a little out of it. “What’re you nervous about?”
“I feel like the timing’s really bad for me to tell you,” you responded. "Especially with your dad and his cryptic thing he did just now."
“Well, now you definitely have to,” Dean half-smirked.
You took a deep breath. “While you were… out… I told you something.”
He looked at you expectantly.
You huffed out a quick breath. “You remember that stupid pinky promise I made you make? You told me I confuse you, and you promised to tell me why someday. Is… Are you? I mean— Jesus, I’m never like this—” 
Before you or Dean could continue, you suddenly heard Sam screaming, “Help! Somebody, help!” from down the hall. You and Dean jerked to attention and looked at each other briefly before leaping off the bed and running down the hall. When you reached the doorway, John was being taken away from Sam and Sam was shoved out of the room.
A nurse tried to shove you and Dean away as well. “No, no, no, it's our dad. It's our dad!” 
She stopped pushing you and allowed you to stay by the door.
“C’mon, John,” you muttered. “C’mon.”
“Okay, stop compressions.”
Your heart sank watching Dean’s horrified face as they called the time of his father's death.
Series Rewrite Taglist: @polireader @brightlilith @atcamillanorrman @jrizzelle @insomnia-bookworm @procrastination20 @mrs-liebgott @djs8891 @tiggytaylor @staple-your-mouth @jesstherebel @rach5ive @strawberrykiwisdogog @bruhidkjustwannaread @mxltifxnd0m @sunshine-on-marz @big-ol-boat @mgchaser @capncrankle @chervbs @simpingdeadcharacters @nesnejwritings @stillhere197 @tearsforhan @take-it-on-the-run @iloveyou2mia @maxinehufflepuffprincess @ohgeehowdigethere @seninjakitey @berarenado @s0urw00lf @princessleahorgana @quarterhorse19 @isla-finke-blog @silverdoragon @karacaroldanvers @gayandfairycore @examishbookwyrm @star-yawnznn @real-sharena-h @fandomloverrr @metalmonki @onlyangel-444 @yu-winchester @benniwiththefanni @daisychaingirl @immagods @missmieux @yoongi-holland @littledebbieinabigworld
221 notes · View notes
delicate44 · 2 years
Text
WHAT IS THIS THIRTY MINUTES VIDEO OF HOSPLAY!!!!!!!!!!!
youtube
3 notes · View notes
kunimix · 6 months
Text
—NEON GUTS
I got them bad grades I was in love with my tutor <3
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Summary; Scaramouche is “forced” to tutor you the “dumbass” in the class
A/n; hi this my first story and I just came from wattpad please give me some tips <33
Warnings; Fem!reader (Sorry </3), an oc will be used for your group, Highschool au, timestamps don’t matter unless said otherwise
Genre; smau, fluff, & a little angst
Status; hiatus (might be discontinued)
Updates; random
Playlist
EPISODES & MORE!!
CREDITS!!
[Name]’s dumbasses | Scaramouche’s group(?)
SEASON 1!!
Episode 1 - Your handwriting pisses me off
Episode 2 - I almost got sent to the hospital
Episode 3 - Tutor Session yay… I’m gonna cry (wc)
Episode 4 - A COMMUNITY PROJECT!?
Episode 5 - Anime binging
Episode 6 - Boba bomb!
Episode 7 - First Customer!!
Episode 8 - HE FOUND OUT?! GASP (wc)
Episode 9 - FALSE NEWS </3
Episode 10 - HAPPY HALLOWEEN
Episode 11 - HALLOWEEN PARTY
SEASON 2!!
Episode 1 - FALSE NEWS </3 Pt.2 (wc)
Episode 2 - Jealous boy
Episode 3 - Just a Tutor
Episode 4 - BLOCKED </3
Episode 5 - Good Days
Episode 6 - Apology DENIED
Episode 7 - Start from the beginning
Episode 8 - Apology pending
Episode 9 - Meet Kianta (wc)
Episode 10 - Date? Date!
Episode 11 - Label? Boyfriend & Girlfriend
Episode 12 - who?
Episode 13 - NOOOOOO
Episode 14 - Arcade Date <3
Episode 15 - EXAMS NOOOOOOOO
Episode 16 - RAINNNNNNNN
Episode 17 - Sick…
Episode 18 - blocked…
Episode 19 - College Applications
Episode 20 - Graduation… this sucks
FILLER EPISODES
Episode 2 season 1 - I almost got sent to the hospital
Episode 5 season 1 - Anime binging
Episode 10 season 1 - HAPPY HALLOWEEN
Episode 11 season 1 - HALLOWEEN PARTY
Episode 5 season 2 - Good days
Episode 13 season 2 - NOOOOOO
EXTRA - tba
191 notes · View notes
nolita-fairytale · 1 year
Text
burn your life down | chef luca x fem!reader | chapter eleven
summary: you receive bad news, but luca is there for you. and it seems like he's intent on continuing to be there for you.
warnings: angst, grief, death, vomiting, fluff, conversations about divorce, second person pov, swearing, danish inaccuracies, very little connection to the storyline of the bear.
word count: 3.3k
listen to: the official 'burn your life down' playlist (specifically 'how to mend a broken heart' - al green & 'love' - kendrick lamar; another very will poulter-coded choice)
a/n: pov: it's me warning you that there is in fact angst but trust, babes. trust. after the trauma of meeting donna b in season 2, i wanted to explore characters who had positive relationships with their mothers. so if you have not picked up on it yet, this story is also about mothers **cries because it's too damn sweet. let me know if you'd like to be added or removed from the taglist.
Tumblr media
part ten | masterlist | part twelve
Astrid: Hey give me a call when you’re up. 
I don’t want to worry you, but we need to talk. 
Your fingers hurriedly move to open up the multiple missed notifications that you have from her, holding the phone up to your ear so that you can listen to her voicemail next. 
“Hey… I know you’re probably still asleep right now,” you hear, her voice somber, as you listen to Astrid’s voicemail, left for you at three in the morning. “And I know that you’ve got your do not disturb on. But I really need to talk. Call me when you’re up.” 
Your heart pounds in your chest as your mind races with fears over what this could be about, and as your eyes scroll through the other missed notifications, you see something that stops you in your tracks: 
1 Missed Call from Joe
And it all suddenly feels real, a sense of dread fills your throat, and you can only imagine that it must be an emergency if both Astrid and Joe have called. Your mind races. It can’t be about Joe – if he called too, right?
The severity of the situation forces you to sit up straight as you steal a glance Luca’s way. You’re grateful that he’s such a heavy sleeper as you peel the covers back, tiptoeing out into the living room so that you don’t wake Luca. Your fingers shake as they hover over Astrid’s name, before tapping down on the screen so that you can give her a call back. 
It only rings twice before Astrid answers, a tiredness in the way her voice sounds, as if she hasn’t slept all night. 
“Hey, Astrid. What’s going on?” you ask, a panic that colors your voice as you wait for her reply. 
The anticipation builds in every moment of silence she leaves between the two of you. 
“It’s mum. Ehm…” she trails off, her voice breaking. 
No. 
It’s as if your worst nightmare is coming true – like no matter how many times you’ve rehearsed this scenario in your head, prepared for it, braced for it, nothing softens the blow of the words that Astrid utters. 
“She’s gone. She passed. Early this morning,” Astrid finally says, a sob following. “We’re still at the hospital right now.” 
As Astrid begins to cry, you let her, even though you feel like you can’t breathe. Through her tears, she tries her best to explain what happened and you can feel yourself going numb as you listen. You can barely process what she’s saying as the words wash over you, a deep pain building in your belly with each detail she shares: that mum hadn’t been feeling well late last night, that she had a fever of 104 F and that’s when they knew she had to be taken to the hospital, that she passed a few hours later. 
It was sudden. 
It was quick. 
And now, Astrid’s whole world – your whole world, and Joe’s – has changed forever.
All you can do is attempt to breathe, to listen, and try your best not to drop your phone as your hands tremble.
You can feel it, a sickening feeling that wells up from your belly and into your throat as you croak out:
“Astrid, I’m so sorry.”
“After everything we’ve been through, all the rounds of chemo… I just can’t believe that overnight she’s gone,” Astrid whispers, tears falling down her cheeks. “I just-, I thought we’d have more time.”
“I know. Me too,” you agree quietly. 
It doesn’t feel real, and you wonder if you’re just in denial. 
“I’m so sorry to call like this. But I thought you should know,” Astrid apologizes, clearing her throat as she continues. “‘M sure I ruined your high from the all-night shag-fest with the hot pastry chef, now didn’t I?”
You chuckle, in response to her attempt to lighten the mood. 
“No, it’s okay. I’m glad you called,” you reassure her, your voice soft. 
“I’ve got to go. Joe and I are going to try to grab something to eat and ehm, try to get a hold of Lina. I’ll keep you posted on everything. On all the details, you know… about… anything we do,” Astrid informs you, trying her best to pull herself together.  
“But I just wanted you to know and ehm, well, I know Joe called.”
“No, I-. Yeah,” you stammer through, at a loss for words. “I… I’ll give him a call. And thank you… for calling me. Thank you for telling me.”
Astrid nods solemnly, “She loved you like one of us.”
You swallow, as a stream of tears streak your cheeks 
“Yeah I… I love – loved – her too.” 
You clear your throat, unaware that your hands have begun to shake. 
“And please keep me posted. I’d like to be there… at the funeral. If you think it’s appropriate.”
“‘Course,” Astrid agrees. “I love you. Call you later?”
“Please. And… yes,” you say, adding if it’s a promise:
“I love you too.”
As soon as you hang up the phone, it’s as if your body knows something you don’t – like your brain hasn’t quite processed the news, racing your body to intellectualize everything you’ve just heard, so your body has to take over instead. Your stomach flips, and suddenly, you’re overwhelmed with the urge to vomit. You sprint to your small apartment bathroom, throwing the toilet seat up with a clang as you begin to empty the contents of your stomach into the toilet, in an uncontrollable physical response.
The sound of you retching, coughing up the last of it, seems to wake up Luca. You brace yourself against the toilet, flushing it as you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand. Your body feels fragile and your mind races as you reach behind you for the towel that lays folded over your towel bar, clutching it towards you. 
“My love, is everything alright?” you hear his voice, as Luca stirs, sitting up in bed. 
The sound of his footsteps heading towards you fill your ears, and as they get closer and closer to you, Luca appears in the doorway, his eyes squinting from how jarring of a wakeup he’s just had. You look up at him, noticing the way his face has twisted itself into a look of concern, swallowing as you rack your brain, searching for a way to explain what just happened. 
“Well, the good news is that I’m not pregnant,” is all that comes out, in sheer disbelief that you’ve chosen to make a joke at this moment. Luca only looks more concerned, more worried, more confused, so you shake your head this time, muttering an apology under your breath. “Uh… remember when I told you… my ex’s mom… she got really sick and we had to move to the UK because of it?”
“Yeah,” he answers, unsure of what this has to do with why you’re stuck to the bathroom floor. 
“I-. Astrid, his sister, just called. She uh…” you trail off, because it feels like you can’t get the words out of your mouth – like if you say it out loud, it’d make it all the more real. 
Your voice, this time much somber, croaks out the words, and you feel sick to your stomach again.
“She passed… last night,” you finally say again, a wave of nausea coming over you. 
“Oh, my love,” Luca sighs empathetically, as his heart falls at the news. “I’m so sorry.”
But before he can say anything else, you’re folded over the toilet once more, caught up in a competition with your own body of which could be worse: dry heaving or vomiting. Instead of leaving, Luca takes a few steps towards you, sitting down next to you as he rubs soothing patterns across your back, as you work this out. What feels like forever, and simultaneously, barely a few seconds, your back is pressed against the wall as you try your best to get your heart rate back down. 
The cold floor and the rigid wall that you’ve pressed your back against feels grounding, perhaps the only thing tethering you to this world. Luca sits with you quietly, but his presence can be felt in tonnes. It’s strong, steady, comforting, with care and love in every single touch and touch he sends your way. 
After a few minutes of letting you stare at the wall blankly, Luca gets up, kneeling on his knees as he offers his hands to you. 
“C’mon. Let’s get you some water and back into bed,” Luca suggests. “I’ll call Jesper and Mathilde. Let them know you’re not going in today.”
You nod, sliding both of your hands into his as he helps to your feet. 
-------------------------------
“How are you doing, babe?” Luca asks you, as you wake up from your nap. 
You’re grateful that he called in today, after the news, and called in for you as well. After your phone call with Astrid, not to mention hurling the entire contents of your stomach (and then some) into the toilet this morning, you’d crawled back into bed and fallen asleep. It hadn’t been great sleep – more so an avoidance mechanism than anything else, you realize – as you begin to come to. 
“Jesper was just here. Came by to drop off food,” Luca adds, as you move onto your side so that you can face him. “They’re worried about you.”
“I’m not hungry,” is all you manage to say. 
He nods, “For later maybe.” 
He pauses, before repeating his question from earlier. 
“How are you doing? What can I do?
You think it over, only slightly upset with yourself for being annoyed at his question. Of course he’s only trying to be helpful, only trying to care for you through this horrible thing. But it’s not like there’s anything he can do to take your pain away either, which, it’s silly you know, is what bothers you so much about his ask. 
But as you look over at the man who wants nothing more than to love you, and you know he’s only trying to be helpful in an unwinnable situation.
You muster up your best smile, because you want to reassure him that you’re sort of-kind-of-okay, and you’d rather try than be a jerk right now. 
“Come back to bed?” you ask him, your voice lifting at the end of the question. “I think I just want you to hold me.”
“Sounds like something that could be arranged,” Luca replies with a smile on his face, in an attempt to lighten up the mood a little. 
As you lay on your side, Luca curls up behind you, engulfing you in his arms as he presses a kiss to the back of your shoulder, tangling his legs with yours underneath the covers. And you’re right. It does make you feel better – being held by him – and you’re glad that you chose not to push him away. 
After a few beats, and a thick silence between the two of you, Luca finally speaks again.
“Do you want to tell me about her?”
Do you?
You debate with yourself whether or not you want to, because on one hand you feel weird about it – asking Luca to listen to you talk about how much you loved your ex husband’s mother – and on the other, you’re afraid. 
Afraid it’ll hurt too much. 
Afraid it may break you open. 
Eventually, the part of you that leans towards saying ‘yes’ wins, as you answer with:
“Yeah. I think that might be helpful.” 
Luca nods behind you, before nuzzling his nose into the space between your neck and your shoulders. He leaves soft kisses against your skin that have no intention of being anything but a comforting gesture. 
“Astrid said something on the phone earlier. That she loved me like one of them,” you start, your voice caught in your throat as you say it. 
“And she did. She embraced me as her own… like…” you trail off, chuckling as you recall your favorite memories of Aiko Kimura. 
“She was beyond upset to learn that I didn’t grow up pleating dumplings around the table when I was a kid, which was… I think maybe the first thing we ever cooked together. She pulled out all the stops. Made a huge thing of it and made Joe, Astrid, and Lina join us so that I could get the real family experience.”
“And every time after that… she always wanted to teach me something new, something I could learn, carry with me,” you continue, the memories so fond and the feeling so bittersweet. 
“She was all about… slowing down, using the senses, no-recipe kind of stuff. I think it’s where I got so much of my heart from. In my food.”
You’re really not sure how you’re keeping it together, but, you decide, you might as well lean into the sweetness for now. 
“I should do a dish. For her. At the restaurant,” you declare, coming to the conclusion as the words leave your lips. 
“I think that’s a great idea,” Luca agrees, leaving another soft kiss along your shoulder. 
“To honor her. You know?” you add. 
Luca only hums in response, his arms wrapped around your frame holding you tighter against his chest. 
You wait a beat. 
Then another, your thoughts, moving a mile a minute from being plunged into grief from this devastating loss. 
“I’m nervous – about going to London,” you confess, softly. You like to ask, usually, if it’s okay – if Luca wants to hear about these kinds of things – but it feels virtually unavoidable. 
“I haven’t been back since Joe and I divorced… since I moved here. But I think I should. For the funeral.”
“Do you think it’ll be soon?” Luca asks, as you turn your head to look at him, checking that this is a conversation he’s willing to have. 
“I don’t know,” you shrug. “I’m waiting for Astrid to tell me. But Lina’s, their youngest sister, has been studying abroad – Singapore – so… I don’t know.”
“I’m just nervous… about it all, I guess. A lot’s changed. I’ve… changed.”
At this point you’re just thinking out loud, no longer able to contain the stream of consciousness that flows from with an ease that makes you anxious. 
Of course, you’ve changed. You have a new life here. You’re a you that you’ve never been before, having shed the layers of your past self like a snake shedding its skin. The realization is striking, while your ambivalence to return to your previous home in your new form feels more and more significant. 
It’s Luca’s turn to be quiet as he thinks over whether or not the idea in his head is appropriate to suggest, figuring, the worst thing you can do is say ‘no.’ 
“I could go with you,” he offers, quiet, yet sure. 
Oh. 
“But if you don’t feel like it would be right… under the circumstances…” Luca continues, in fear of making things more complicated for you. 
“No I-. What do you-, like… in what capacity?” you interject, hesitant about the question that you’re bringing up. 
You’re not sure why it’s taken this long for either of you to articulate it, especially since you’ve already called him your boyfriend to your friends, to your mom, but the naming, the voicing of the sacred label is still something you haven’t done. 
You don’t want to overcomplicate things, considering it already feels complicated, so what you’re really asking him is:
How would I introduce you?
“I was thinking… as your boyfriend,” Luca answers, slowly. “But if you think it’s too much – introducing me during this-.” 
“No, I. Yes! I want to,” you’re quick to reply, reassuring him that you’re still all in, even in the midst of this loss – especially in the midst of this loss. You wiggle your body so that you’re now facing him, your chests pressed together, and you wonder if he can feel yours pounding away. 
“Yes. I want you to come. I… I want to introduce you to them… to everyone, as my boyfriend.”
Seemingly satisfied with the answer, Luca leans in to press a short kiss to your lips before nodding in agreement: “Okay.”
You wait a beat, almost as if you think he’ll take it back, considering the circumstances. Only, he doesn’t, so you have to ask. 
“You would really do that?”
“Yeah,” he replies, simply. 
“I mean.. It’s just going to be a lot. It’s… a fucking funeral,” you continue to list, giving him every ‘out’ that you can possibly think of. “And you’d have to meet Joe. Which I can only imagine will be incredibly uncomfortable considering the circumstances and I’m not even sure what to expect because Joe and I have barely talked in months and I-.” 
You know you’re rambling, but you can’t help yourself. 
“Luca, I don’t know if I can ask you to do that.”
“You don’t have to, my love. I offered,” he says, as one of his hands cradles your head, his eyes on yours. 
“Plus, I don’t have to be with you the whole time. I know it’s going to be a tough trip for a lot of reasons. I could give you some space while we’re there too, so you don’t feel you have to entertain me. I’ll go see my mum, catch up with a friend….”
His reassurance seems to quell your nerves and you’re no longer panicking (as much) about introducing your people to your new boyfriend while grieving the loss of their matriarch. But you want him there. You so want him there. You want his support, and when he’s so willingly offering it to you, volunteering to enter the lion’s den with you, how can you say ‘no?’
“Why are you so good to me?” is all that comes out of your mouth. 
“Because I-,” Luca begins, pausing as he carefully chooses his next few words. You watch as he debates with himself, his decision clear when he opens his mouth again to say:
“Because you deserve it, babe.”
It’s then and there that you wonder what he was going to say before, half expecting him to say, ‘because I love you.’ 
But he doesn’t, and in some ways, you’re glad that whatever internal decision he made, that it wasn’t that. It’s not that you don’t want him to, because you’ve been feeling it too. It’s in every pause before you hang up the phone with him. It’s in the moments that you say your goodbyes for the morning or the evening that you watch the impulse, though fleeting, flash through his eyes. It’s in the way that you feel it so deeply in your bones that it makes you ache in the best kinds of ways. 
 You don’t want your first ‘I love you’ to be tainted with the grief and sadness surrounding this moment, but it’s been on your mind ever since your trip to Skagen. You think maybe you dreamed it, hearing him call you the love of his life, but whether or not it was real, those three words have hung heavily between the two of you ever since. 
“Thank you,” is all you say, before you repeat it again. 
“Thank you.”
-------------------------------
Everything feels off. You can’t cry. 
And you’ve tried. 
But ever since Luca left to run an errand, to run to the store, you’ve felt off-kilter. 
Perhaps it’s because you’ve had him to distract you this whole time. 
Perhaps it’s because you’re trying to be strong for everyone: for Astrid, for Lina, who you’ve been texting with all day – trying to coordinate a time to FaceTime – for yourself. 
Perhaps it’s because you haven’t called Joe yet. 
But, you’ve decided, you really need to cry. 
You pick up the phone, knowing exactly what you need to do, knowing exactly who you can let yourself completely fall apart with. 
The phone rings a few times before the person on the other line picks up, and as soon as you hear the silence on the other line, waiting for you to speak first since you called first. 
“Mom?”
And she can hear it in your voice as it breaks, concern and worry filling her every word and she asks: 
“Oh sweetie. What happened?”
And finally, you can let go.
452 notes · View notes
aprilblossomgirl · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Hospital Playlist (2020) Ep.2 | Hospital Playlist Season 2 (2021) Ep.1
Dir. Shin Won Ho
317 notes · View notes
jinhogae · 2 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
I CAN DO IT WITH A BROKEN HEART
youth - kihyun (2022) / hospital playlist season 2 (2022) / i can do it with a broken heart - taylor swift (2024) / circle the drain - soccer mommy (2020) / the bear season 2x10: the bear (2023), screenshots from a set by @/sophsun1 / / elegy - frank herbert / tokyo ueno station - yu miri (2020) / tumblr user willtobe / my liberation notes 2x03 (2021) / the fiery priest (2019) / 26 - paramore (2017) / autobiography of red - anne carson / heroine - sunmi (2018) / working for the knife - mitski (2022) / the unnamable - samuel beckett
39 notes · View notes