#How To Know If Your Tmj Is Bad

[blommp717]

I’ve been endlessly trying to change my tmj/jaw issues but no matter what I still look and feel the same. I don’t want to simply imagine the change, I want to experience it physically and ikkkk that’s not the point of nd but like idk I’m just stuck. I want to change things at will.

Yes soooo, because I actually did start developing TMJ and jaw issues when I had very very crowded teeth cus of my wisdom teeth growing in SIDEWAYS 😭😭 I know exactly how you feel. This being said, let’s move forward.

The pain and jaw issues actually started going away well before I had my wisdom teeth removed and this is when I understand LOAssumption, if I knew ND I’d literally would have snipped that sh🤭t so fast.

Yea so knowing what we know, even then, I’m not telling you to ignore physical pain, if you have medication that can help you relieve pain right now because I know how bad it can get, pls don’t just ignore taking care of yourself because you want to prove something to yourself first 😭😭😭 (I literally made the mistake of doing this)

But yes, okay it’s as easy as realizing that, as “ “ your everything, you appear as everything, so even the

“I have TMJ/Jaw Issues” (instantly true)

“I’ve been endlessly trying to change my issues” (instantly true)

In the same way that

“Finally my Jaw problems are gone” (instantly true)

“My TMJ is finally gone” (instantly true”

So what I want you to understand is that, this is and never will be a doing process, do not get yourself stuck in trying to change option A to B, because nothing is being changed and nothing is being transformed, it’s all you. Anything realized is now the truth (so to speak)

There are no opposites, only what you realize. It’s really just option A or B, no “I need to change this into that”

It’s one claim or another, one idea or another, one realization or another, not turning one into another

There’s no effort or trying you have to do.

“But what do I do when it hurts” either take medicine or if it doesn’t bother you that much just ignore it, because if someone who doesn’t have jaw issues felt sore or some pressure in the jaw, they wouldn’t just go in a spiral about how it’s not working or it’s still here or whatever, you brush it off as a weird sensation that’ll go away. Don’t abandon what the new experience is just because the old one feels comfortable to return to. Don’t feel powerless in a world that literally is you.

I honestly hope this made sense, I’m sorry I’ve been lacking sleep recently 😭😭😭🤭🤭🤭

[turtletaubwrites]

Parted Lips

This SFW oneshot was inspired by This Post by @hufflefluffy about how Sanji would be with someone who struggles with eating such as with sensory issues, eating disorders, etc.

That post made me so happy, so I wrote this fic about Sanji helping his crewmate who has severe chronic TMJ pain.

Pairings: Sanji x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 1734

Ao3 Link

Summary: Sanji has made another meal just for you, but it's still too painful to eat. You open up to Sanji about your jaw pain, and he offers to help you work through it

Rating/Warnings: SFW, Fluff, Angst, they aren't together yet but there's tension, and it is mildly suggestive, Mostly just sweet Sanji being a lovely human, Chronic Pain, TMJ Disorder, Difficulties with eating such as chewing and appetite, Grief

A/N: I've been struggling with this, and this past year has been awful. Sometimes I couldn't even eat soft cheese. I'm so lucky that my partner is very much like Sanji, and has learned to cook things for me that I can enjoy, and held my hand through this. I hope we can all find that kind of support for our pain. 💜💜

“Mm, this smells amazing, Sanji.”

The bowl of stew he’d placed before you had your mouth watering the scent of the meat and spices making pleasant chills run over your skin. 

Sanji smiled as he sat across from you, and the sight of his own matching bowl made you frown. 

“Why are you having mine?”

“Oh, ma chérie, are you hungry enough for more tonight, I can make something else.”

With a heavy sigh, you leaned away, your small appetite growing smaller at your sour mood. 

“You know what I mean, Sanji. You don’t have to eat what I eat.”

His soft eyes made you tense up, reaching up to massage your cheeks.

“There’s nothing wrong with what you have to eat, Y/N. At least I hope not. Will you calm this poor chef’s nerves, and let me know how it tastes? 

Swallowing your self pity, you reached for the spoon.

Probably the only utensil I’ll ever be able to use now.

Your hand spasmed around the metal slightly, and you felt Sanji’s eyes on your every move.

“Sanji, can you please not stare at me while I eat?”

“Oh, um. Of course, sweetheart, sorry.”

He turned his face down to his own bowl, and you steeled yourself.

It smells so good.

You filled your spoon, not taking too much, but making sure to have a piece of meat and carrot.

Very small pieces.

The meat was so tender, the flavors overwhelming you. 

It had been so difficult to enjoy food, but Sanji’s cooking was bringing your love back.

But that almost made it worse sometimes.

Even with how small the bites of meat and vegetables were, how wonderfully tender, it was still enough chewing to make you sore. You knew if you ate the whole bowl, you would be hurting. It had been a bad week.

“It’s delicious, Sanji. Thank you so much.”

You couldn’t keep your voice from cracking, and his brows tensed as he set down his spoon. 

“Is it too much, darling?”

You sat back, heat building in your throat as you started massaging your jaw. 

“I don’t want to eat puréed food for the rest of my life.

It was such a dumb sentence. It sounded pathetic. But the weight of it fell down on you, crushing your joy.

Sanji reached out, your skin tingling as his hand touched yours, pulling it away from your face to hold it. He squeezed it gently, and his soft skin was soothing, even through your frustration.

“I know what it is to be hungry, Y/N. I won’t let you suffer like this. No matter what it takes, I will find food that nourishes and satisfies you. Please let me help you.”

Hot tears welled in your eyes, and you swallowed, trying to push them down. 

“What else can I do?”

Looking away from his pleading eyes, you stared into your bowl of stew, the small pieces taunting you. 

Your hands reached up to rub at the sore muscles again. 

“Does massaging your jaw help with the pain? I could… Would you feel comfortable letting me touch your face?”

Breath catching, you felt tingles go over your skin.

Is he just trying to touch me? Does he really care, or is this just him…

The thought felt sour as you looked at his earnest face. Sanji was always flirting with you, but he flirts with all the girls, with every woman he meets. You didn’t think he was serious about being interested in you, so you had tried not to think about him that way. You weren’t always successful.

But he was also one of the kindest people you’d ever met. You set your hesitation aside, and took the cook’s offer.

Sanji came around the table now, facing you as he sat in the chair beside you. Your breath was still too light, and you started pinching your fingers in your lap, fidgeting as he moved close to you.

A small gasp escaped you as his warm fingers touched your cheeks. His skin was so amazingly soft, and your eyes fluttered shut as he started to lightly press in circles along your jaw. 

“Does this feel alright?”

You nodded with a small sigh, then guided his fingers with yours, showing him what you needed.

It felt so much better with his touch than your own, and you let yourself relax into it for a few minutes. 

Sanji kept going as he cleared his throat softly, bringing your attention to his face. 

“What are other things we can do to help you, love?”

You had to breathe, bringing yourself back to the moment. 

“Uh, sometimes icing it can help on bad days. There are exercises too, but it’s hard to remember until it gets bad. Then I can’t do them because it hurts too much.”

“Is there an exercise that isn’t as painful,” Sanji asked, his voice just as soothing as his fingers.

It took you another minute to respond as you melted under his touch.

“Yeah, um. I just always forget. It’s not really an exercise. I need to focus on my posture.”

“You have lovely posture.”

“Thank you,” you said with a laugh, not surprised that he would have noticed that about you. “I know I do. I’ve worked hard on it to help reduce the pain. Seems like it’s really paid off.”

Sanji gave a small frown at the light tone you tried to use with your sarcasm.

“What else, gorgeous?”

His soft hands cupping your face while he used that word made you feel dizzy. How can he make me feel like that with just his voice?

You didn’t want him to stop massaging you, but you moved his hands away. 

“Just this.”

Sanji’s gaze was drawn to your lips as they parted, and he stared for a moment before meeting your eyes again. 

“I’m sorry, dear. What is the next exercise?”

“Not an exercise. More posture. I’m supposed to stay like this as often as I can remember.” 

He stared at your lips again as you gestured to them. 

“My tongue is meant to touch the top of my mouth, and my lips should be slightly parted, as often as I can remember,” you explained, your voice trembling more with each word. 

“I hate it, how am I supposed to remember to do it? And if I do, I just have to live with my mouth open all the time? And what if it doesn’t help? Nothing ever helps-”

Sanji cupped your face again, making you gulp as stinging tears finally started falling. 

He brushed them away with his thumbs, and you felt your lips quivering as his face got closer. His eyes were pouring over your features, and it made you shiver.

“San-”

“You don’t have to carry this alone anymore, Y/N. I’ll help you, whatever you need.”

Your eyes clenched shut, sending a wave of tears down as you tried not to sob. All the pain, all the frustration was wearing you down. 

It seemed so trivial. But not being able to eat Sanji’s amazing food, losing your appetite when you thought of what you could eat, watching the crew laugh together over their meals, it made it all harder. 

You had stopped eating with the crew for a while now, with Sanji joining you after meals. But you felt sick with guilt when you couldn’t finish the food he’d worked so hard on for you. 

“May I hug you, ma belle?” 

Nodding, you let him pull you into his arms. You wanted to stop, to push this aside. It’s not that big of a deal, get over it. 

The biting thoughts that plagued you were finally ignored as you breathed in Sanji’s comforting scent. As you let yourself weep, you sobbed onto his shoulder while he drew comforting shapes along your back. 

He let you cry, and you realized that you were grieving. All the pain you’d bottled up was grief. Grief for all the things you couldn’t do, couldn’t enjoy because your body wouldn’t let you. The pain you ignored everyday until it became so sharp that you couldn’t ignore it. 

The days when you had to stop yourself from laughing with your crew because it hurt too much to open your mouth. 

Feeling it all washing over you, you clung to him, gripping his dress shirt in your fingers. 

Your sobs were loud and painful, but you couldn’t stop them if you tried. You had never let yourself feel all of this, all at once. It was like a dam had been breached, and Sanji was holding you, anchoring you so you wouldn’t be swept away. 

“I’m so sorry you have to carry this, darling. You shouldn't have to.”

He stroked your hair as his soft words started coming through your sobs. Your breathing began to slow, and you felt strange, not quite here. Still hurting, but relieved. 

Sitting back, his hands seemed reluctant to let you slip away. 

You were grateful that he wasn’t smiling. His brows were tensed slightly, and he tilted his head in soft concern. 

“Please come to me with this, Y/N. You don’t need to suffer in silence anymore. I won’t allow it.”

You gave a choked laugh as the corner of his mouth twitched up, and you were surprised that you were ready for the smile so soon. 

“Thank you so much, Sanji.”

You gripped his hands, squeezing his fingers as your breathing kept slowing down. He took one hand away to touch your chin gently. 

“Anytime, my love. I’m going to whip you up something delicious, alright?”

Nodding, your skin was still tingling as his thumb traced along your jaw.

“I’m going to be your reminder from now on, is that okay?”

It took you a second to understand, but you remembered your exercises.

“Yes, thank you.”

“Perfect. Now while I cook, I want you to hold your tongue at the roof of your mouth, and let your lips be slightly parted.”

You smiled at him before you obeyed, and then you watched his eyes seem to burn as they watched your lips part. 

Your breath hitched as Sanji’s thumb traced over your lower lip, delicious heat running through your body at his gentle touch. 

“I’ll help you remember now, ma chérie. Your lips look too beautiful like this for me to forget.”

Thank You for Reading! 💜

TurtleTaub Fanfic Masterlist

Tag List: @astheni-a | @fanaticsnail

A/N: I hope you enjoyed it, and I hope that you have someone like Sanji to support you through your pain 💜

Buy me a coffee ☕🙏🏼

[berylcups]

Head canons: What’s La Squadras Eating Habits Like?

CW: Food, Sensory issues, Smoking, food cravings, meal skipping

Risotto:

Dietary preference: Omnivore with a preference for red meat, due to his stand he’s always craving iron rich foods

Allergies/ food intolerances: lactose intolerant, mild peanut allergy

Table manners/behaviors: has TMJ so his jaw pops when he eats. He’s kinda embarrassed about it but he doesn’t eat with his mouth open and his table manners are impeccable. So he’s someone I’d gladly eat with 🥺

Favorite taste: savory

Cook, take out, or fast food: he prefers cooking but never has the energy or time for it so he usually opts for street food.

How good of a cook are they (1-5): 3.5 he has some sicilian dishes that he’s perfect at, but other regions he’s just Ok at. Not bad but not great. He can make most things as long as he has a recipe to follow.

Formaggio:

Dietary preference: omnivore, very high carb diet

Allergies/ food intolerances: none! He’s healthy~

Table manners/behaviors: eats way too fast and ends up overeating. He compensates by making singular portions

Favorite taste: Salty

Cook, take out, or fast food: he loves to cook when hes home but when he’s out he indulges on junky fast food 🤤 he could live off of fries and chips/crisps. If it’s deep fried he’s on it. He’d love an American State Fair 🤤

How good of a cook are they (1-5): 5+++ he’s a god tier cook. You ask him for whatever recipe you want he can recreate it. Vincenzo’s Plate, Uncle Roger, and other YT critics got nothing on him. He has a permanent uncle title. BUT…he can’t bake for shit. Don’t even ask him to microwave you a mug cupcake. 🧁 he just can’t. But you’ll get a 5 star 6 course meal that will make your mouth orgasm. His best recipe is his 12 layer lasagna. No he won’t tell you what’s in it, family secret 🤫

Illuso:

Dietary preference: lacto-ovo vegetarian

Allergies/ food intolerances: hes deathly allergic to tree nuts

Table manners/behaviors: talks with his mouth full 😒

Favorite taste: sweet

Cook, take out, or fast food: take out. There’s soooo many reflective surfaces in restaurant kitchens where he can sneak through and just steal a plate of food that he finds appealing and jump back in. 😂 he saves a lot of money on food costs.

How good of a cook are they (1-5): 3.5 cooking wise he’s average. Nothing to write home about. But due to his sweet tooth he’s a god at baking. Choux cream puffs are his specialty. He can make a mean cupcake too his decoration skills are on point 🧁 if you ask him to bake a cake for you, you might be better off buying from an actual bakery. His prices are ridiculously high. But the taste though… it's probably worth every lira

Prosciutto:

Dietary preference: mostly carnivore diet

Allergies/ food intolerances: cruciferous vegetables give him terrible gas pains ☠️ and he’s lactose intolerance (he’s secretly jealous that Pesci can drink milk without getting the shits but he even looks a drop of milk and he’s running to the toilet )

Table manners/behaviors: SMOKES WHILE HE EATS 😡 yuck! this isn’t the 90s bitch. We don’t do smoking sections anymore. He also puts salt on EVERYTHING. If he didn’t smoke so much he’d be able to taste things better 😒

Favorite taste: bitter

Cook, take out, or fast food: cooking if he’s home, if he’s out it’s take out but it has to be from the best of the best! Prosciutto has high standards with his diet and won’t eat any dingy hole in the wall restaurant or some greasy fast food !

How good of a cook are they (1-5): 4 - pretty good cook! Has many recipes he learned from his nonna that he knows by heart. The only issue is he needs to use less salt.

Pesci:

Dietary preference: lacto-ovo pescatarian

Allergies/ food intolerances: has the cilantro gene where it tastes super soapy, also stimulants like coffee and non herbal tea give him an upset stomach 🤢

Table manners/behaviors: his table manners are impeccable. Doesn’t talk with his mouth full, doesn’t slurp, nothing! But he drinks fast and sometimes gets the hiccups 😭 also…he can only drink milk or water- no wine or espresso. It’s not bad table manners but it makes the team look bad (according to Prosciutto 😒 let the boy have his milk dammit )

Favorite taste: sour 🍋

Cook, take out, or fast food: Cook- he likes the rewarding process of fishing for his food, then to process and filet it, and turn it into a dish. Is there really anything more satisfying than that?

How good of a cook are they (1-5): 3- he’s a good cook but he has an issue of overcooking meat since he doesn’t eat it himself other than fish. Don’t ask him for a medium rare steak because it’s either going to be blue rare or very well done. He worries about food safety and food borne illnesses so he always ends up over cooking or burning the meat. His meat dishes may be dry and terrible but at least you know you won’t get salmonella. Fish dishes are obviously his best work. Ask him to make you some sashimi or nigiri sushi some time! It might not be the quality of a Japanese chef but for a home cook he’s pretty damn talented!

Melone:

Dietary preference: highly processed diet

Allergies/ food intolerances: shellfish allergy

Table manners/behaviors: skips meals…needs reminders to eat! Good table manners for the most part but…. He LOUDLY slurps his noodles 😬

Favorite taste: savory

Cook, take out, or fast food: cook and by cooking I mean ready made foods. Ramen noodles, Mac and cheese, frozen microwaveable foods, hamburger helper, -questionable canned foods… he eats like a fucking bachelor. That’s if he even remembers to eat.

How good of a cook are they (1-5): 1.5 can boil pasta and use jar sauce. can use a microwave and that’s about it. He can make cup ramen and throw whatever he finds in the fridge in there and thinks it’s a 5 star meal 😭

Ghiaccio:

Dietary preference: high carb low fat

Allergies/ food intolerances: latex allergy - banana, avocado and kiwi. Has sensory issues so certain textures are intolerable.

Table manners/behaviors: hates when his food touches other foods. WILL NOT EAT IT. Very particular about textures too. If his pasta isn’t al dente he can’t eat it. The mouthfeel is so off it will make him gag. He’d rather eat raw crunchy dried pasta instead of overdone mushy pasta.

Favorite taste: Spicy 🌶️

Cook, take out, or fast food: Take out; he prefers home cooked food but he’s not allowed near a stove. He gravitates towards hot foods when he’s out, like pasta arrabiata, mapo tofu, or Vindaloo.

How good of a cook are they (1-5): -5 this guy could burn cereal. Do not let him in the kitchen. Ever. He’s too literal with following recipes, when they say to turn the stove on high- he puts it on the highest setting and then complains that the recipe is wrong and not him 😬 (same man same 😔)

[sexhaver]

ive made this post multiple times before and will probably make it again but the worst part of getting medicated for ADHD is that the two main effects are:

mentally, you become God. everything is easy, easier than easy. things that were impossible unmedicated are insultingly trivial on 50mg Vyvanse XR. focus, executive function, sociability, memory - everything is cranked up to 11 and then has the knob ripped off. this isn't gradual, either; you can physically feel yourself go from a barely-conscious husk to the physical embodiment of efficiency over the course of 15 minutes while the THX noise plays nonstop and keeps ramping up the entire time.

physically, you break yourself in every way that matters. you grind your teeth to dust and develop TMJ until you forget there was a time when you didn't wake up every morning with a headache from clenching your jaw all night. you genuinely just forget to eat or drink for 6 hours at a time until your doctor-approved meth wears off and you can suddenly hear everything your body has been screaming, begging for you to do since breakfast. the comedown itself is hell incarnate, feeling like being dropped off a cliff onto spikes a mile below. this happens every afternoon for the rest of your life, and you know it's coming the whole time.

this leads to the following outcomes:

the first point is extremely visible to everyone in your life, often times even more so than it is to yourself.

not only does everyone else notice that you're suddenly acting differently, they like that version of you way more. i know this sounds like depressive thinking, but i have literally been told this exact line to my face multiple times. you become a less flaky friend to your peers and a more consistent worker to your boss/coworkers. by all externally visible measures, you become an objectively better person to be around.

the second point is invisible to everyone except you 99% of the time.

the other 1% of the time, they notice the side effects because the clock struck midnight 6pm and the carriage turned back into a pumpkin your meds suddenly wore off. as far as an external observer is concerned, you suddenly went from being bubbly and fun to hang out with to a hangry cranky drain on everyone's energy in 10 minutes flat.

living with these inescapable facts every single day for years on end naturally leads to the following conclusions:

"When I feel bad/stressed, everyone else likes me. When I feel good/relaxed, everyone else dislikes me."

"Feeling good is an indication that I am currently doing something wrong, or am forgetting to do something entirely. In either case, it means everyone else in my life dislikes me."

"Feeling bad is not just an indication that I am doing something right, it's a prerequisite. Unless I feel bad, nobody else in my life likes me."

"Nobody else cares how I feel, they never will, and anyone saying otherwise is a liar. Sure, people understand that they have to say they care about my feelings to avoid sounding like sociopaths, but the fact that those same people consistently like me better when I'm medicated and doing nice stuff for them (while screaming internally and grinding my teeth to dust) than when I'm unmedicated and relaxing proves that they're full of shit."

"Since I'm literally the only person who cares about my own happiness (see above), and everyone else on Earth is happier when I'm suffering, it's not just difficult for me to fight depression and assert my self-worth - it's actively harming everyone else around me."

eventually you learn to turn off your feelings for a while to get through especially bad patches, but the entire thought process never goes away and eventually starts impacting how you view other people. i don't have a hopeful note to end this post on.

[hungerpunch]

okay actually. i am maybe going to cry lol. here is a non-exhaustive list of the medical professionals i have seen since i was in seventh grade:

too many internists (as primary care/general practice) to actually count. well over a dozen.

two neurologists

one spine specialist

seven physical therapists

two chiropractors

four massage therapists

three dentists

one oral surgeon

i have had many MRIs and x-rays. i have had a lot of blood taken. i have taken rounds of steroids and muscle relaxers for pain/symptom management. there have been times i could not turn my head to one side for months at a time. i have scoliosis, which wasn't figured out until the fifth or so physical therapist, even though previous chiropractors had taken x-rays of my spine.

here is a non-exhaustive list of reasons why i sought such intensive care:

debilitating migraines

severe back pain

severe neck pain

bad pain flares in my back teeth during times of stress

ear aches

here is a non-exhaustive list of things i have been told about myself by these professionals:

the enamel on my teeth was worn off and had to be artificially reapplied "because" i "brushed my teeth too aggressively."

that the reason my ears hurt was "because" i "cleaned them too aggressively" and there was no protective ear wax left.

that the lowest three discs in my spine were degenerating.

that i was grinding my teeth in my sleep.

that i was hyper-tensing in my sleep and that i should "take xanax daily & nightly to make it stop."

that i had scoliosis. (this one is 100% confirmed)

that i needed therapy to become less stressed so my muscles would relax.

that i needed massage therapy and other various treatments to address how tight all my fascia was in certain parts of my body.

that i should try mouth guards because the teeth grinding had started to do real damage.

that i should enter a sleep study for how intense and chronic my insomnia was.

that the pain in my hands/tingling in my fingers was because my wrists were too weak.

that there was "something evil stored" in my neck

and then. an anon yesterday asked if i had tmj. and i said probably not. and then @chronodyne slid me a message that said "re: tmj, mine is myofascial and i also don’t have the clicking/trouble opening my mouth."

so i did some reading.

starting with myofascial tmj got me here (cedars-sinai.org)

i paused to look up bruxism, which turns out to be the medical term for grinding/clenching your fucking teeth:

highlights are things i have experienced and sought or had medical attention for (dull headaches are not highlighted because i have only ever sought medical attention for migraines, though i certainly have dull headaches all the time).

okay. so i know i clench my jaw/grind my teeth in the daytime. and a dentist has told me before that it's evident i do it in my sleep, too. just the other day i woke up with a ravaged inside right cheek from chewing it in my sleep. so i can safely self-diagnose bruxism.

back to tmd.

highlights are symptoms i have experienced. i did not highlight teeth sensitivity because i would classify it as pain instead. but you don't understand the howl i let out internally when i read the ringing in the ears and numbness/tingling feeling in your fingers bullet points. i have been operating under the assumption that i have tinnitus and probably a very scary autoimmune disorder that i just am better off ignoring (this is not medical advice, it's avoidance). i'm not saying i don't have those things, but i also never knew there were other possibilities.

over the course of my life i have had many injuries to my neck and actually i have also had a pretty severe concussion before, which i would classify as a head injury. i have many of the symptoms listed for tmd. i have even undergone, incongruously, many of the treatments for it. so many doctors have noted and attempted to address issues with my fascia, with my muscles, with my tension.

it raising its ugly head when i'm stressed makes sense i literally said in my post yesterday DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ANYONE WHEN THEIR BLOOD PRESSURE RAISES LOL SOB

i cannot conclusively diagnose myself with tmd or, for that matter, with mps (myofasical pain syndrome, which i had also never heard of!). but i am so, so frustrated because i have never even heard these words. i have never been screened for these things. no medical professional has ever discussed these possibilities with me, even when they're treating me for several of the symptoms!

i'm crying for all the tests i've undergone that led to nothing. always, infuriatingly, labeled a medical mystery. for the rounds of steroids and muscle relaxers i've been prescribed. for the painful manual manipulations i've been subjected to. for every single person who ever touched my body commenting on how tight/tense my neck is. for the addiction that stemmed from that first xanax prescription when i was 15 that caused so much fucking grief in my life. for the chronic pain that has swallowed whole decades of my life and sapped my energy since i was a child.

none of these symptoms were ever NOT disclosed to a medical professional. at each one, i did the immense labor of dragging out my entire, perplexing medical history, including injuries and past issues and treatments. but nobody ever thought to consider this? nobody, with all those degrees, with those long careers, with all those patients, ever thought to consider this? while i was in all those paper gowns, on all those cold tables, getting poked and prodded, crying, paying for tests i could not afford, so sleep deprived i thought i'd die at 25, nobody considered this?

anyway @chronodyne suggested seeing an oral surgeon to discuss this so. i guess that's what i'm looking up next.

[croaker-explained]

dropping by to say hi, I loved the Kermiad, and I've been off Tumblr for a bit, what on earth is going on with the Croaker and his roommates atm? You seemed like the best person to ask.

thank you! I plan on having an in depth explanation with a proper timeline of the roommates in my part 2, but this is the rough explanation (which became a tad longer than expected)

Kermit's been in communication with the coven for about a month or two total, but moved in finally after the fight at dennys was supposed to take place. He never arrived at dennys because his mother brought him to an evangelical church, and got him in church therapy. he left a little over two week ago during the night in secret.

selection of the covens rules:

no non-MCR music, it impedes the spirit of gerard way in athena

no italian food allowed (if you are caught youre punished)

sage will drive you one way, but youre on your own on the way back

Our cast:

athena (mydarlingathena)- thanfiction-esque. Is possessed by gerard way, is a vampire and drinks milton and sages blood. Athena the vessel is responsible for kermits invite, not gerard. Eats flies [children of the rot] harvested from the carcass in the closet. Sleeps in a bed

sage (minuseyes) - big into cannibalism and raw meat. Older sibling to Milton. Makes art and likes french poetry. Was athena's first convert and manages the budget. She spends all the money on meat and incense. Has a job, owns the car. Sleeps on the counch

[ham]milton (lifedoesntdiscriminate) - a struggling theatre kid trying to repent and become emo. The second convert that had to be broken by Athena, and tastes better than sage. Some guy really wants him in an apple costume. Originally seemed the most normal, then turned out he was lying about being an orphan. Runs the etsy. Sleeps in the closet.

recap:

Croaker has struggled since moving into the apartment, because there is a deficit in blankets and he has had to sleep under athenas bed in a cold room (or gerard way) without a blanket. Kermit dissapeared, and the croaker couldnt find him anywhere, even when he broke back into his mothers house.

When the three roommates did their "roommate bonding activity/ritual" tmj took this oppurtunity to masturbate, but jerked off too loud and caught their ire. This is when athena said she had to break him. Tmj since then has had to clean up the whole apartment (-the closet), clean with his toothbrush [he doesnt own one, so he used miltons], and is being sleep deprived by athena.

around this time, he also revealed his dark eve kin, and was assigned mentally sound by his tharapist.

a lot of the roommate deal came to a head when kermit was fed fly cookies as punishment, which he did not take well. This caused him to do vriska mode and piss all over the counters. Sage is punished for the consequences of kermits revenge -- a dead fly (the angel) on the countertop athena coveted disappeared. Sage is moved to the closet and milton takes the couch.

after convincing, tmj enters the closet of the rot, which smelt so bad milton would always be on the verge of vommiting. She observed a 24h moment of silence because of how foul it was. There was another bag in the rot bucket. This according to milton, was "kermits proxy". Kermit the frog was inside the bag. Tmj discovered miltons blog and learned they stole kermit and went "crime mode". He did something to milton. We do not know what happened. At this point in time, kermit is in rough shape, with the damage done by equus tmj to his eyes exacerbated by maggots.

there are images of the rot on milton and kermits blog, and it is an astronomical amount of maggots. The apartment is generally very unclean, and has an extreme mold problem.

Edit: since writing this, Kermit stabbed athena to kill gerard way, athena and sage burned tmj's kermit plushie at a local graveyard, and have been evicted from their apartment. Karmit has returned to his mothers house, bringing milton with him.

[tiannasfanfic]

Wisdom

Eddie Munson x Reader (Fluff)

| Masterlist | AO3 Link |

Summary: You finally get your wisdom teeth taken out and your best friend, Eddie Munson, is there to take care of you afterwards.

Rating: General

Author Note: Gender neutral reader, they/them pronouns, if any. Here's a little bit of fluff to go with all of our smut for Kinktober. Based on when I got my wisdom teeth taken out and the hilarity of me waking up from anesthesia. The only thing I remember about any of this is the tongue thing. Everything else I was told about second hand from my parents.

CW: Dental problems (wisdom teeth, wisdom teeth removal with no details except for proper medical definitions only); pain; pain medication used for post-op pain; side effects of anesthesia and pain mediation (loopiness, nausea, mentions of Reader throwing up due to medication); mention of IV but no details.

Word Count: 2,112

There comes a time in everybody’s life where a certain rite of passage happens. It’s an unpleasant one that everybody dreads.

Wisdom teeth removal.

While most people would have it done right away if they had the means, you put it off. You didn’t want to do it. It wasn’t that you were scared about it. The idea of having them taken out didn’t bug you at all since they’d be knocking you out cold for the procedure. It was the idea of recovering with all sides of your mouth hurting that intimidated you.

After three years of putting it off, you finally hit your breaking point when both of your bottom wisdom teeth were so impacted you had regular, painful flair ups of TMJ and were infected to the point you had to be on antibiotics for three weeks before the oral surgeon could even touch you.

Needless to say, your dad, your best friend Eddie Munson and his uncle, Wayne, weren’t very happy with you that you let it get that bad.

That was why when your dad got called out of town for work two days before your surgery, he immediately called Wayne and Eddie. Your dad was supposed to take you to the appointment and look after you for a couple of days, so he was afraid if you had to reschedule, you’d just cancel it completely. After seeing you be in pain almost daily since you were 17, no one wanted that. A new plan was quickly formulated.

Eddie would take you to and from the appointment. Since your dentist expected the recovery to be rough at first with how bad it was, Eddie would stay with you for a couple of days until you had recovered some.

It was a simple enough plan.

At first, all was going well. You couldn’t eat or drink after midnight, so your appointment was early. 8:30am, to be exact, so you went ahead and got your prescriptions the day before, then stayed the night with Eddie to make sure he got up. One thing he would never be accused of in his life was being a morning person.

Surprisingly, he got up easily when Wayne woke you two up at 6am when he got home from work.

“Course I’m getting up,” Eddie said groggily, sitting at the edge of the bed and rubbing his eyes when you teased him about it. “I hate seeing you in pain and you know I would do just about anything for you.”

That made you warm inside. While Eddie was your best friend, you had fallen for him ages ago and had kept quiet about it. That was a line you didn’t want to cross since he was your closest friend. Outside of him, your dad and Wayne, you couldn’t count on many people. If you told Eddie how you felt and the friendship was ruined, that would effectively cut the list in half. That was something you definitely wanted to avoid. Your feelings had been bottled up for a long time now, and that’s exactly where you intended to keep them.

Surprisingly, you didn’t get nervous about the procedure until you were already in the chair with the IV in. They had you count backwards from one hundred, but you were out cold before you even reached ninety.

Thus ended your part in the whole fiasco.

And it would, indeed, become a fiasco.

Two hours later, Eddie was woken up from his nap in the waiting room to the news that you were awake and ready to go home. The nurse led him back to your room so they could go over post-op care with him since you were, in the nurse’s words, “a little loopy.”

Loopy didn’t even begin to cover it.

Despite the fact you had just gone through a little bit of surgery, you were in the best mood Eddie had ever seen you in for the entire time he’s known you.

“Weddy, muh wuv!” you exclaimed as soon as he walked in.

Eddie took one look at you and had to bite his lip to keep from laughing.

Between the gauze you had in your mouth and the mild swelling already starting through your cheeks, you reminded him of a squirrel who had its mouth packed full of nuts.

“Ah mah gawd, Weddy!” you said, making grabby hands at him so he’d come closer. “Ave ah avar tald ewe ow uch ah’m in ove wit ewe? Ike, fer eel?”

That was the moment Eddie realized weed highs and anesthesia highs were two completely different things. Between the obvious slurring from that and the gauze, he didn’t have a clue what you just tried to say.

“Hey there, Princess,” Eddie said, chuckling as he came over to the dentist’s chair you were sitting in.

As soon as he got close enough, you dove halfway out of the chair to wrap your arms around his hips in a bear hug. You also headbutted Eddie right in the crotch in the process. Thankfully, it wasn’t terribly hard, but it was definitely hard enough to make tears spring up in his eyes and his knees wobble.

“Easy there, Princess,” he gently scolded you, a slight strain to his voice from the impact.

He grasped you by your shoulders to sit you upright in the chair before you could lean over anymore and fall out of it.

Right as Eddie was about to pull away and stand upright, you grabbed his face in both of your hands and kissed him.

Or, tried to, rather. You just kind of latched your lips onto his bottom lip and sat there, completely still with your eyes closed.

Eddie couldn’t help but chuckle then, and gently pushed you back down into the chair. You pouted, which looked especially pathetic with your slightly swollen bottom lip.

It didn’t take long to go over the post-op instructions, then Eddie pulled his van around to the side entrance the nurse brought you to in a wheelchair. It took a few minutes to load you up because you kept jumping out of the van and back into Eddie’s arms before he could get the door closed. He finally had to go back around to sit in the driver’s side and coax you in while the nurses helped you climb up into the van.

The drive back was uneventful for the first half of the half hour trip. You were a chatterbox during that time, though Eddie still couldn’t understand you. One sentence sounded like, “I love you, Eddie,” but he knew that wasn’t what you said. As much as he wanted you to, he knew you really didn’t feel that way about him.

Then, halfway home, you started freaking out for apparently no reason. He ended up pulling over and calming you down but still couldn’t understand what you were trying to say when he asked you what happened. You finally took some of the gauze out then to explain.

“Thomething wath moving in my mouth and it thcared me.”

It was your tongue. You had noticed your tongue moving between the gauze while you were talking, and it freaked you out.

A couple of minutes after Eddie pulled back onto the road, you suddenly got quiet for the first time since you’d been out of surgery. Eddie looked over to see your face twisted in a look of discomfort and you were holding your stomach.

“Feeling sick?” Eddie asked and you nodded rapidly.

Eddie started speeding a little since he knew how much it sucked throwing up in a moving vehicle or on the side of the road. The nurse had warned him nausea was a potential reaction to being under anesthesia, so that wasn’t a surprise.

As soon as he pulled up to your house, he cut the engine, jumped out of the van, and ran up to the door to get it unlocked. He figured that would make it easier for you if he went back for you rather than make you stand there while he got it open.

However, he had barely gotten the inside door open when he heard the sound of running footsteps behind him. Eddie turned around just in time to see you stagger running up on him. He jumped out of your way, holding the screen door open for you as you ran inside, making a bee line for the bathroom while very obviously trying not to fall over.

Eddie quickly got the passenger door of the van closed so none of the neighborhood cats would get in, then hurried to check on you.

By this point, you were on your knees in front of the toilet, leaned over it and holding onto the bowl for dear life. He had seen this pose a couple of times after you’d had too much to drink. Since there was nothing in your stomach, the throwing up amounted to just dry heaving, but it didn’t take very long before you were sobbing, too.

“Throwing up after surgery sucks,” you whined into the toilet as Eddie held your hair and rubbed your back.

At least you had realized you needed to take the gauze out before you started throwing up. It was sitting next to you on the floor, so all Eddie had to do was throw it away rather than fish it out of the toilet.

It didn’t take very long before you felt okay enough to let Eddie help you up and lead you to his bed, where you not so gracefully fell onto it. Since you had been told to dress comfortably in loose clothing, you were already basically wearing your pajamas. You were in a loose t shirt and pajama pants, so you wouldn’t have to change. You had even forgone a bra since you didn’t want to mess with one when you got back.

Eddie helped you get in a more comfortable position and pulled the covers up over you. You ended up falling asleep shortly after that and this time Eddie was positive he heard you mutter, “I love you.” But, as much as it made his heart skip, he knew it was just the drugs talking.

The fiasco continued later that afternoon when you discovered the hard way that the painkillers you were prescribed made you sick. This time, it wasn’t just passing nausea and you spent quite a while with your head in a trash can. That understandably made you refuse to take anymore, but you were in a lot of the pain after the last of the anesthesia and Novocain wore off. It kept you up all night, which kept Eddie awake.

Eddie spent most of the day trying to think of a way to help you when an idea finally occurred to him.

“I know you can’t smoke,” he said. “But I can try shot gunning it to you instead. See if that helps.”

You were ready to try anything at this point and readily agreed.

The first hit from the joint went well. Eddie kept his lips a safe distance from yours to avoid bumping into you. You kept your eyes closed as you slowly inhaled the smoke through your mouth. Still though, it felt intensely intimate to Eddie, and he had to keep himself from trembling above you.

The next few hits weren’t as intense for him now that he knew what to expect, and he managed to get through a full joint by shot gunning most of the hits to you. After about an hour, when it did indeed seem to be helping, he lit up another joint to start the process again.

Eddie didn’t notice how he got closer and closer to you with each shotgun. He didn’t notice it when he lightly pressed his lips to yours, or your eyes snap open wide since his were closed. He didn’t even notice it when he did the same thing a few moments later with the last hit off the joint.

But he did notice it when your hand came up to rest softly along the side of his face.

Eddie’s eyes few open and he finally realized he was actually kissing you.

After a moment, he pulled away and your eyes came halfway open. A sleepy, high smile came across your face.

“What took you so long?” you asked him.

Before Eddie could formulate a response, you yawned slightly and turned onto your side, eyes closing. You were asleep before he knew it, leaving him sitting over you, blinking.

That had to be the pain and the weed talking…right?

Had to be.

[donnerpartyofone]

Getting bummed out thinking about how many of my chronic problems could have been headed off at the pass with proper care, though at the same time I really did seek treatment when certain things were starting, I just never got what I needed. My general experience with doctors has been that they don't really care what's going on with you if

a) Your symptoms do not exactly match some very common 101-level thing with clear instructions in the proverbial manual, and/or

b) Your symptoms are not catastrophically bad yet (and even if they are the doctor might still loop back to (a) to avoid having to solve a mystery, like if they didn't learn it in undergrad then they don't want to deal with it at all)

My big complex thing is probably all because of stress, which is sad; my knotted up shoulder affects my neck which affects my jaw (tmj, $$$ out of pocket for corrective appliances), which affects my ear which now rings permanently, and my back problems also seem to put some kind of pressure on my right lung, so I haven't really taken a clear breath in like 20 years. I saw a chiropractor when this first started happening and he took x-rays and everything, but I soon developed the suspicion that he wasn't a real doctor, and by this I specifically mean like, maybe he was a fugitive from the law and he had assumed the ruse of being a respectable clinician to hide out, and now he's just stuck doing the actual job like in SISTER ACT or something.

He was extremely, cartoonishly handsome with a permanent 5 o'clock shadow and a dramatic grey streak in his hair like a soap opera character, the only thing he was missing was an eyepatch. I know people get addicted to seeing chiropractors because of the satisfaction of having your back cracked and stuff, but this guy never did anything like that. I would lie down and he would sort of vaguely push on different parts of me in a way that was almost imperceptible. Then he showed me some stretches I should do; when I tried them in front of him, I would just get to the point where I started to feel something good before he'd start going "NO! DON'T GO THAT FAR, YOU DON'T WANNA DO THAT!" and I'd back way off while thinking But now I'm not stretching, this is just my normal range of motion, what is this supposed to do?? I really didn't get anything at all out of seeing that guy, although I did get some short term relief from his in-house acupuncturist, a pleasant hippie lady who was into MMA and ran a pit bull rescue. I don't know, people are funny.

[clovericlare]

just curious cus i heard t increases muscle mass and fat redistribution. I know it doesn't change bone structure but still...

how do you deal with your tmj cus mine is killing me! :L mine is not painful per say but it does feel like I have a knot in my jaw and my ears are clogged all the time (especially in the morning)

So true, tmj pain comes from the muscles so T has gotta be doing something in there 😆

If you're anything like me, this is gonna be sad news, but. You have to wear a night guard. Every night. I know they suck, they're uncomfortable and kinda gross in the morning. But the longer you go without consistently wearing one, the worse the TMJ is gonna get, and some of those changes are gonna be irreversible.

Even if you don't realize it, you 100% are grinding/clenching your teeth at night. That's what's making your ears feel clogged, and it's going to get exponentially worse if you don't get on top of it. I'm talking intense jaw/ear pain, and even the risk of breaking your teeth.

Get some of these moldable mouth guards. Most drugstores will have them and they're generally pretty inexpensive, especially compared to the cost of the dental work you're protecting yourself from needing:

Very very important note about these!!! Do NOT use the ones that just cover your molars!!!! BAD PRODUCT, EVIL BAD, should be illegal to advertise as a TMJ product!!! If you use these, you're only going to be training your jaw muscles to clench down HARDER:

Like, bite your tongue with just your front teeth, and then bite your tongue using your back teeth. Feel how your jaw muscles are so much more activated when you bite using your back teeth? Evil

What my dentist suggested was using one of those moldable mouth guards and cutting it off at the red line, so that it's only covering your front teeth:

Your jaw is going to be much more relaxed, and your molars won't touch each other at all. I also find it fits a bit more comfortably this way, so, hey

Other than that, regularly massaging your jaw is about all I've got in terms of advice 😭 The mouth guard is something that will prevent your TMJ from progressing to something much more serious, and that will help a lot with managing where it is now. Massage, try to relax, etc. If it gets real bad I'd see a doctor about it, they'll give you much more in-depth advice and maybe even prescribe a muscle relaxer.

[tcfkag]

TL;DR - chronic illness and dental anxiety

There is nothing like finally overcoming your inertia, partially due to ADHD and partially due to anxiety (with a healthy side dish of PTSD), to find a new dentist (one that offers sedation dentistry in particular) AND make an appointment AND show up to the appointment.... Only to find out that the x-rays show there are so many issues with your teeth, including a back molar that needs to be extracted (I knew it had cracked or broken at some point in the past, though I'm not sure when, I had at least hoped it was salvageable, and somewhere between 5-10 cavities, such that they didn't even bother doing the basic cleaning because I am going to have to come back to get these procedures done under sedation so they recommended just getting the normal maintenance stuff while I'm "under". Plus, depending on the price and whether insurance will cover some of the cost, the dentist recommended getting Botox injections to help relax my jaw since I have pretty bad TMJ which can trigger migraines. I hadn't known Botox could be effective for TMJ (though I had heard about its use for migraine patients) but if it works, they might get a new Botox customer out of the deal. So now I have to go back for in-erpson appointments at LEAST two more times: once to meet with the nurse/practice manager to go over the planned procedure, get written consent, and also review the estimated cost that won't be covered by my dental insurance, particularly the sedation. Only after THAT meeting can I schedule the appointment. Oh, and the dentist wants to get in touch with my PCP and GI beforehand to confirm there are no contradictions for sedation, so who knows how long that will take. Between a rough year health-wise (physically and mentally), having a two-year-old, moving to a new house, etc etc, I knew my dental hygiene hadn't been exactly A+ levels, but I have to get one molar pulled entirely (I knew it was broken but didn't realize how bad it was), get something like a half-dozen cavities filled, and get the normal cleaning, fluoride treatment, and hopefully treatment for my jaw so that all of the time. Hopefully, spending this much time in the chair doesn't trigger a migraine. Other fun observations from the new dentist: given my immunosuppression and tendency towards gum inflammation, he suggests I use medicated toothpaste from this point on but he also said he saw signs that one of my new medications (or maybe just age) was giving me dry mouth, which encourages the environment that causes things like cavities and gum disease, so I also need a new mouth wash for that too. None of this is ideal, but there is really something about having a bad dentist's appointment that really makes you feel like you're failing at adulthood.

[3dsmall]

If I didn’t know you had Botox I wouldn’t know. But your forehead seems slightly smoother - not like your skin was wrinkled per se as you’re young. Kind of like you slightly photoshopped your forehead. I mean it’s a slight tweak that wasn’t needed but also doesn’t look bad. What do you think of it ?

ive mulled this over a lot

tbh i don't think i'd get cosmetic botox again. Masseter for my tmj has been CLUTCH, but the tiny bit i got in my forehead, mostly out of curiosity, has been a little weird.

i don't think i (or anyone) "needs" cosmetic botox, and even though some ppl think i look better, and even though i think i maybe look a bit better, i don't really like the effect.

irl im a ham... a card, a character, etc. and its weird not to be able to make such a variety of dramatic faces. so it's sort of less fun, makes me feel kind of unlike myself. people have complimented how i look, but i am not having as much fun looking like this.

on the other hand tho, i've read some interesting stuff about how botox possibly affects the amygdala and emotional regulation. that a sort of feedback loop gets interrupted when you aren't able to make stress faces or clench as much as you used to. i think that could be true, i've been less stressed lately. i also read some weird stuff about how botox possibly can mak you less empathic bc it hinders your ability to unconsciously mirror other peoples facial expressions.

i don't rly see this stuff as a big deal at all esp bc it will wear off. but id wholeheartedly recommend masseter botox to anyone who has severe tooth wear from bruxism and struggles to properly/regularly use a night guard, or anyone who has chronic jaw pain from bruxism/clenching.

[fleurserenity]

Hi. My name is Hashimoto's. I'm an invisible autoimmune disease that attacks your thyroid gland causing you to become hypothyroid.

I am now velcroed to you for life. If you have hypothyroidism, you probably have me. I am the number one cause of it in the U.S. and many other places around the world.

I'm so sneaky--I don't always show up in your blood work.

Others around you can't see me or hear me, but YOUR body feels me.

I can attack you anywhere and any way I please.

I can cause severe pain or, if I'm in a good mood, I can just cause you to ache all over.

Remember when you and energy ran around together and had fun?

I took energy from you, and gave you exhaustion. Try to have fun now.

I can take good sleep from you and in its place, give you brain fog and lack of concentration.

I can make you want to sleep 24/7, and I can also cause insomnia.

I can make you tremble internally or make you feel cold or hot when everyone else feels normal.

I can also give you swollen hands and feet, swollen face and eyelids, swollen everything.

I can make you feel very anxious with panic attacks or very depressed. I can also cause other mental health problems. You know crazy mood swings? That's me. Crying for no reason? Angry for no reason? That's probably me too.

I can make your hair fall out, become dry and brittle, cause acne, cause dry skin, the sky is the limit with me.

I can make you gain weight and no matter what you eat or how much you exercise, I can keep that weight on you. I can also make you lose weight. I don't discriminate.

Some of my other autoimmune disease friends often join me, giving you even more to deal with.

If you have something planned, or are looking forward to a great day, I can take that away from you. You didn't ask for me. I chose you for various reasons:

That virus or viruses you had that you never really recovered from, or that car accident, or maybe it was the years of abuse and trauma (I thrive on stress.) You may have a family history of me. Whatever the cause, I'm here to stay.

I hear you're going to see a doctor to try and get rid of me. That makes me laugh. Just try. You will have to go to many, many doctors until you find one who can help you effectively.

You will be put on the wrong medication for you, pain pills, sleeping pills, energy pills, told you are suffering from anxiety or depression, given anti-anxiety pills and antidepressants.

There are so many other ways I can make you sick and miserable, the list is endless - that high cholesterol, gall bladder issue, blood pressure issue, blood sugar issue, heart issue among others? That's probably me.

Can't get pregnant, or have had a miscarriage?

That's probably me too.

Shortness of breath or "air hunger?" Yep, probably me.

Liver enzymes elevated? Yep, probably me.

Teeth and gum problems? TMJ?

Hives? Yep, probably me.

I told you the list was endless.

You may be given a TENs unit, get massaged, told if you just sleep and exercise properly I will go away.

You'll be told to think positively, you'll be poked, prodded, and MOST OF ALL, not taken seriously when you try to explain to the endless number of doctors you've seen, just how debilitating I am and how ill and exhausted you really feel. In all probability you will get a referral from these 'understanding' (clueless) doctors, to see a psychiatrist.

Your family, friends and co-workers will all listen to you until they just get tired of hearing about how I make you feel, and just how debilitating I can be.

Some of them will say things like "Oh, you are just having a bad day" or "Well, remember, you can't do the things you use to do 20 YEARS ago", not hearing that you said 20 DAYS ago.

They'll also say things like, "if you just get up and move, get outside and do things, you'll feel better." They won't understand that I take away the 'gas' that powers your body and mind to ENABLE you to do those things.

Some will start talking behind your back, they'll call you a hypochondriac, while you slowly feel that you are losing your dignity trying to make them understand, especially if you are in the middle of a conversation with a "normal" person, and can't remember what you were going to say next. You'll be told things like, "Oh, my grandmother had that, and she's fine on her medication" when you desperately want to explain that I don't impose myself upon everyone in the exact same way, and just because that grandmother is fine on the medication SHE'S taking, doesn't mean it will work for you.

They will not understand that having this disease impacts your body from the top of your head to the tip of your toes, and that every cell and every body system and organ requires the proper amount and the right kind of of thyroid hormone medication for YOU.....Not what works for someone else.

The only place you will get the kind of support and understanding in dealing with me is with other people that have me. They are really the only ones who can truly understand.

I am Hashimoto's Disease.

[chocoichigogc]

Update

Went to an urgent care today because the pain in my mouth has become unmanageable. Got some pain meds and muscle relaxers.

I have a doctor's appointment on Wednesday to discuss the TMJ and possibly go to a specialist

I am also looking into getting my wisdom teeth removed, which might be a cause of my TMJ. I just need to know how much my insurance can cover it.

At this point, I might just go through with it and ask for a payment plan.

I have no idea when I will be able to stream again. I just want the pain to be manageable.

The only thing that actually gives me a moment of relief is swishing water in my mouth...I'm so hydrated.

Depending on how much is covered by insurance, any extra costs I might open up donations and open up commissions once I am doing better.

I miss streaming so much, I miss talking with everyone. I feel so bad that this happened so suddenly. It is seriously paining me that I cannot work. You know me, when I am done with one project I immediately have something else to work on. And to not be working...freaking out my brain.

I do appreciate all the support and kind messages and even the art I have been receiving!! So so sweet

I just wanted to let everyone know what is up, and if anyone cares to chat I'm here! I love you all so much

If anyone wants to support

We do have some fun merch!

https://choco-ichigo-shop.fourthwall.com/

I also have a PayPal if anyone wants to donate. You don't have to. Just having your support means the world to me. I'll take a Haruto drawing instead

But if you want to this is the link https://www.paypal.me/chocoichigo

Thank you once again ❤️

I hope you all are doing well

Stay Safe and Stay Sweet

[bougiebutchbitch]

Yes there's SUCH a huge difference. I'm not even on the EDS end of things, far from it and very well aware of the difference. It's also just... interesting having seen a lot of the spectrume (and also having seen how with kids doctors will sometimes rather suspect parental abuse than EDS/such??) and how different people are affected so differently by things.

Yep!!! My parents didn't take me to the hospital for YEARS, though I suffered some quite serious limb injuries just by being 'a rowdy little kid'. They've explicitly told me it's because they were worried about being suspected of abuse. They took me to a family friend doctor instead who, off the clock, relocated stuff for me on numerous occasions, but didn't put it on my records - which... is kinda terrifying to think what could've happened if I had been abused. I think it was just assumed that I was a very rambunctious kid who kept fighting with other kids and injuring myself (which... yeah was true lol).

I definitely understand why my parents were wary of the medical profession as a whole - especially as my mum has had truly awful experiences in the past. But also, that choice kinda meant that I didn't get help earlier? So... yeah, it's a complex one.

And it's absolutely awful that some doctors still seem to be in denial about EDS as a possible differential diagnosis for hypermobility + joint pain. Like.... it's a rare disease, but way more common than was originally thought? And from what I've seen recently, they're really narrowing down the specific damaged genes that result in hEDS. I get the sense that a lot of doctors are kinda dinosaurs who get left behind by the actual profession - but unfortunately, they still will be coming into contact with patients with complex clinical needs.

And - yes, the variety even within hEDS or HSD is amazing! I know some folks with a different sort of EDS who have literally 0 day to day symptoms, and just need yearly heart check ups. I know folks with hEDS who have been in a wheelchair since they were kids as they got diagnosed early, and others who are barely affected at all and can 'exercise their way out', and have a relatively low level of pain, even though they technically fit the diagnostic criteria!

In fairness, every specialist I've seen has said I have a particularly 'bad' case, and worse mobility issues/permanant nerve issues and joint degeneration than most. But there's another girl in my regular IRL life with hEDS who literally is only affected to the point of pain in her jaw, but has no other serious mobility problems! Like - not to downplay how troublesome it can be to deal with TMJ and regularly dislocate your jaw, but - it really is a testament to how variable disability can be. She was genuinely surprised when we were talking about how different our conditions are!

[jacobsdentalclinic]

How to Know if Your Teeth Have Issues: Signs and Symptoms to Look Out For

Our teeth are an essential part of our oral health and overall wellbeing. While brushing and flossing regularly can help prevent dental problems, it’s still important to be aware of signs and symptoms that indicate your teeth may have issues. In this article, we’ll discuss how to know if your teeth have issues and when to seek dental care.

Tooth pain or sensitivity: Tooth pain or sensitivity to hot or cold temperatures can indicate tooth decay, a cavity, or gum disease. If you experience tooth pain or sensitivity, see your dentist as soon as possible.

Swollen or bleeding gums: Swollen or bleeding gums can indicate gum disease, which can cause tooth loss if left untreated. If you notice any changes in your gum health, such as bleeding or swelling, schedule an appointment with your dentist.

Bad breath: Bad breath can be a sign of poor dental hygiene, gum disease, or an underlying health issue. If you have persistent bad breath, see your dentist to determine the underlying cause.

Discoloration or stains: Discoloration or stains on your teeth can be caused by several factors, including poor dental hygiene, smoking, and certain foods and drinks. Your dentist can determine the cause of the discoloration and recommend appropriate treatment options.

Loose or missing teeth: Loose or missing teeth can be a sign of advanced gum disease or tooth decay. If you have loose or missing teeth, see your dentist as soon as possible.

Clicking or popping jaw: Clicking or popping in your jaw can indicate temporomandibular joint (TMJ) disorder, which can cause jaw pain and difficulty chewing. If you experience jaw pain or clicking, see your dentist for evaluation and treatment.

Dry mouth: Dry mouth can be caused by medications, certain medical conditions, or dehydration. If you have persistent dry mouth, see your dentist to determine the underlying cause and receive appropriate treatment.

By being aware of these signs and symptoms, you can identify potential dental issues early on and seek prompt dental care. Remember to brush and floss regularly, maintain a healthy diet, and visit your dentist regularly for check-ups and cleanings. With good dental hygiene and regular dental care, you can maintain optimal dental health and enjoy a healthy and beautiful smile for years to come.

[coridallasmultipass]

Vent personal medical long post

So the shit week continues. No new painkillers, i took the last expired hydrocodone, so if im still in pain tomorrow im gonna have to cut a morphine in half and see if i can tolerate it (i took a whole 15mg one on sunday when my back pain first went out, and while it helped it was way too much painkiller and i got so nauseous. The hydrocodone is 1/3 of the morphine dose, and i dont know how to cut this tiny fucking morphine pill into 3. I dunno if its even big enough to be cut in half!!)

The specialist did get me a back xray which was normal (as expected), and physical therapy, which is good, except i can only attend if i get an appointment within 2 weeks, because after that i wont have a ride, and the distance to walk there is 2.5 miles steep downhill (fine. Ive done that walk before. It would suck because of the pain.) But coming back home after the appointment would be 2.5 miles steep uphill when im probably extremely sore and can barely walk after physical therapy (has always been the case whenever ive gone to pt) and i dont think i can fucking do 5 miles. I can hardly walk the stairs in my house. (Warned u bout the stairs dogg) The occasional 3 mile round trip that i do to go to the post office when i dont have access to a car is bad enough that it puts me out of commission, especially bc its all uneven terrain no sidewalks.

I tried calling anyway and its voicemail so theyre probably at lunch right now. But it still sucks. Im so fucking tired of this.

I hate having to rely on other people - doctors or family. I hate having to make and attend so many appointments. And im not even fucking doing everything i need to. I saw this pt place has pain management (i didnt think there was any in this area so i gave up on that) so i can try asking for that too, but again, thats more appointments i need to coordinate, and last time i did pain management they basically said "see a psychiatrist for antidepressants or try medical marijuana bc we cant do anything else for you" lmao (i did the mm despite never having tried it before. It helps but its not enough lol). My current psychiatrist has exhausted every medical option for my depression. So its either they give me painkillers or something else idk what, or i just stay home and continue to suffer.

And thats a whole nother thing the rheumatologist today was like "oh why did you stop antidepressants if youre in so much pain??" My duDE I WAS SO MISERABLE AND COULDNT DO ANYTHING AT ALL. FOR FIVE FUCKING YEARS. Once i stopped antidepressants, i was able to start exercising regularly, i started drawing and writing with more enjoyment (had not drawn with regularity since 2019!!), i am more present in life, like... doing antidepressants was the worst fucking 5 years of my life. None of them helped my depression, they only made me worse. I tried every branch of them and not a single one helped. Im still fucking depressed and anxious as shit taking methylphenidate but hard evidence points to it being a great help compared with anything else ive ever taken. God that fucking "treatment resistant depression" diagnosis was the worst fucking thing. Theres like nothing else to try except super niche experimental treatments that insurance wont cover and they dont accept secondary insurance (which is the one that i could probably get to cover a new treatment but it takes a lot of coordination on both parties, like what im doing for my tmj problems and getting aligners). Ughhh. I dont wanna fucking do experimental shit either. Unless someone wants to donate me an ayahuasca vacation or something lmao. (Joke, i dont have a passport and i dont wanna pause all my other meds)

It sucks that none of my medical problems are treatable. I got permanent depression/anxiety/ocd/whatever other things that are undiagnosed despite my requests for testing. Permanent endometriosis (no cure and my body isnt accepting the medical or sugical treatments). Lifelong teeth problems (unknown if this new treatment will help my teeth or jaw yet but like.. arthritis is also lifelong and damage is damage). Arthritis thats lifelong but Mostly managed, at least during warm seasons. Permanent untreatable fibromyalgia (the antidepressants are the only medical treatment for it and never helped with pain, maybe even made it worse, and no one wants to give me painkillers anymore since like 2015. Sucks that old people can get painkillers like candy but because im young and hide my pain really well i get treated like an addict. My mom was like 'your gramma gets painkillers all the time!!' Yeah but im not in my 70s. Theres age bias here.) I got chronic untreated gerd (well, i take otc meds, and my attempts to treat it got canceled bc thats when covid was rampant, and the doc stopped prescribing me stronger meds bc i hadnt seen him in a while, bUT I LITERALLY COULDNT GET IN BC OF COVID. I just dont eat any of my favourite acidic foods anymore. I miss tomatoes. Sometimes i gotta eat them and just triple up on 3 different antacids and deal with the sore throat the next day). Well, was gonna say i got chronic insomnia but thats probably the only thing thats fully treated by 2 meds and sometimes weed. (But like. Im a nightowl. Its just that i have to fit in with society to get up in the morning for appointments. I have that like delayed body clock issue lol. So in a way it kind of is still a chronic issue, but at least im getting a full night of sleep when the body pain isnt extreme.)

But yeah. It sucks to be me. Dunno where im going w this post. Its just so frustrating when youre telling the doctor you're in constant pain and hes like 'i know. See you in a couple months.' Rheumatologists are supposed to treat fibro. But i always get hot potatoed to the next doctor. Like i get it, i am untreatable, but someone please do something! Ugh. Like theres really no options besides painkillers or weed, and i can only use weed in the evenings bc my family doesnt approve (literally said the most vile shit when i mentioned the pain clinic recommended it), plus cant use it if im gonna drive somewhere - in theory, i dont have a license lol but the point is i shouldnt have to take an intoxicant during the day!! Painkillers at the lowest dose do not intoxicate me, and in fact, make me more lucid bc it lifts the fucking fog of pain!! Wish doctors would understand how much they helped me in the past. When i was on the combo of painkillers and the arthritis med im on now, i was literally going for jogs every fucking day. I have proof of it. I probably couldnt do that now bc im a lot heavier and a lot sicker, but the point is i can be more active if im not in pain, and being active helps both the arthritis and fibro! Ughhhh.

Online is like "painkillers have not been shown to help fibro" bull fucking shit. Maybe im an odd one out. But ive been diagnosed since i was 12 and fit the fucking symptoms. They fucking help and ive been off them for so many fucking years now while all my health has deteriorated. Do you know how miserable it is to find out you have fibromyalgia affecting the nerves around your teeth? On top of my tmj problems!! I can barely eat anything since starting the aligners because my mouth is in too much pain!!

The only thing painkillers havent helped was the fucking endometriosis, which ironically, is the only reason i even have painkillers on hand for my back injury.

And god fuck i do not want to think abt the endo. Theres no quality of life when im panicking every day about when the next flare up is gonna happen. Theres no hope there bc theres no treatment that works for me. I already had a hysto but it was probably too late since the endo spread. Idk if im gonna survive the next flare. Especially because i have to stop taking the med that was possibly helping since ive been on it too long. The doctors ive been seeing have just been like "we'll cross that bridge when we get to it" which is just causing more anxiety because the bridge is like. This next month. Whenever theres a flare up, i have to stop ALL my arthritis meds just so i can take advil since thats the only thing that provides me some relief (and thats terrifying bc advil has given me an ulcer before! Because of taking it during a period and i was in too much pain to sit up for 10 minutes after taking it. Fuck endo.) Idk what to do.

Anyway. Thats the sitch. Ill try calling for pt again since this took a while to type. If theyre still closed, well, i guess ill just go fuck myself.