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#How did they end at that conclusion tho?????
chamiryokuroi · 6 months
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Cousin: Stressed about Uni because he failed a final and has to retake the class, so he no longer has time for dating or partying (His own words)
Aunt and Uncle on the phone with me: Do you think he is gay?
Me:
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ectonurites · 5 months
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almost 4am can't stop thinking about the meaning of the idiom 'to have blood on [someone's] hands'—to be responsible for a person's death—combined with the fact that Zach is the one we are specifically shown with Daryl's actual blood on his hands (once for real and once in a dream)... Not Josh who had been holding the sword Daryl fell onto, but Zach who took the sword out.
#super dark times#+ part of it that's insane to me is: Josh COULD have easily ALSO gotten (literal) blood on his hands—we see him go to check for a pulse#after Zach did... but we don't see his hands during that—they're left out of the shot! we just see his face. and when we see his hands next#there's no visible blood on them (if any got on he theoretically wiped 'em off ig? similarly Zach's hands when seen AFTER the shot of him#touching Daryl ALSO don't rlly show blood anymore—we see his hands in the leaves tho so it prob went there) BUT SO there was a CHOICE made#to give us a close up shot of ZACH pulling his hand away from the wound with blood on it... but to NOT do the same/smthn similar with Josh.#and yet ZACH is the one who CAN'T ACCEPT THE ROLE HE PLAYED IN ANY OF ITTTTT!!!!!!! GAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!#this post brought to you by me rewatching the Zach + Charlie on the phone scene and needing to just. stop and scream at Zach being#like 'Josh‚ or fucking somebody else‚ they went up there and if they found Daryl alive—' LIKE BRO. YOU *KNOW* HE WAS DEAD.#YOU KNOW. YOU KNOOOOW. YOU WERE THERE. YOU KNOW HE WAS ALREADY DEAD. the denial. the trying to find any fucking way that#there could be even a sliver of a possibility that it WASN'T even PARTIALLY his fault.... shifting the blame entirely onto Josh...#[plus like. the 'somebody else' only added in after Charlie was giving him shit for trying to complicate this more—at first he was#straight up saying Josh was the one that fucked with the body]... aghghghsfd he makes me INSANE#also fwiw. i'm forever a 'Josh didn't harm anyone on purpose until AFTER his fight with Zach at Zach's house' truther. that provides#at least SOME sort of motivation to push him over an edge into... the shit that happens. anything before that just fuckin' doesn't make#sense. To Me. ive already written a lot on my thoughts about all of that though [uhhh in the tags of my gifset of the fight at Zach's house#anyways. im also NOT trying to say 'ah so we should Just Blame Zach' because nah nah this whole thing was a fucked up accident. they're all#to blame. plus Josh did horrible shit at the end On His Own there's no way of getting around that—but the messiness of how Zach handled the#initial incident and how that ripples out across the whole movie is simply soooooooo... ghghGHGhghGHGhghghgh. To Me.#in conclusion: im soooooooo normal about the characters in this movie (<- lying)
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hananono · 9 months
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ok fionna and cake spoilies. very odd to me that people are mad that simons ending involved moving on from his grief over betty like. that was pretty obvious where it was going. and not only that its very confusing that somehow moving on from grief and finding new purpose in life is like. bad now? like there wasnt ever going to be a way to bring betty back that wouldn't have felt contrived as hell and like. i dunno how to word this but like its not a bad thing if a character decides that they want to move on from something like it was a pretty strong conclusion to simons arc in the show to be like "i loved betty and i still love her but i want to move forward now." like thats fine. that's a normal conclusion to reach. hes not resigned to his fate hes taking on the world with renewed strength because he finally got to see her again like he wanted
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siren--squid · 8 months
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PLAYED ALL OF SOULSCAPE LAST NIGHT...... RAMBLING SPOILERS IN THE TAGS...... :D
#spoilers in tags#BRO THE FUCKING MEMORY SCENES TOOK ME OUT#Chase deserves SO MUCH BETTER than that woman. Im so glad they've separated. i feel so bad for the kids holy crap#i hope they get a happy ending with their father.#Jackie my sweet boy. the dysphoria battle made me cry. those bullies are shit and beating them was SO GOOD. hero boy deserves confidence#MARVIN THAT SASSY CATBOY OH MY GOD...... his memory was such a fun segment to play but ABSOLUTELY painful otherwise#I LOVE HIS FRIEND THO OMG??#hate those three money obsessed guys tho. would fight them again#honestly i have no words for Henriks memory. that was absolutely heartbreaking. i cried the entire time#the baby crying. the visual of his grief. how shattered and vulnerable he behaves the entire time.#the distorted bloody hospital was such a good representation of that mental state. the graves were so sad#joline showing up was the most heartbreaking and somber thing ever. doc needs a big hug#that was distressingly amazing.#Also cried over Bings memories. that was beautifully done and terribly sad#i understand deleting that memory. and the dialogue at the cabin door absolutely broke me#i knew that forest grave was important. the connections were so obvious.#ROBBIE MEMORY WAS ADORABLE THO. love that empty room scene#true anti also made me cry a little. poor kid just wanted a life. he deserves that so much#the ending did feel a little rushed though. like.. not satisfying in a way? there wasn't enough done it feels like.#the endings always feel rushed tho i guess?? just more with this one. im excited to see if anything ever has a satisfying conclusion#LOVED playing as cat Marvin. vent maze was good#i liked getting a whole map of the place as well?? but sometimes it feels like easter eggs over power plot#they're so fun and so good but also bro im here for story and the amount of things is overwhelming lmao /j#amazing plot and game overall#absolutely stunning
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dobercorgis · 1 year
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I did say before that I didn’t really want a dlc prequel and after playing fr I still do kind of think that. Even just thematically an epilogue seemed more fitting, but I guess not.
It did have some good parts! I think I understand N some more now (tbh I didn’t care for him in the main game) and family angst/drama is always spicy. Loved seeing Shulk and Rex again and I loved the interactions with them and their kids. Esp Shulk and Nikol just nerding out together. Also did not expect Rex to have that kind of parenting style haha. They really did go all out on the fanservice which I adored and found funny at the same time. And some of them were references to side quests or just lore which I appreciated so it wasn’t just all surface level references. Also they mentioned how Melia has been captured several times and Shulk never comments on it which is an interesting choice.
But I feel like overall it didn’t answer a lot of my questions about the main game and left me with more questions instead. Also it was much shorter than I expected. Even with the forced community padding in torna… it still feels like fr was much shorter. When I was fighting Alpha I was like this feels like a final boss but it feels like I haven’t been even playing for that long. Pacing was fine don’t get me wrong, it just felt… lacking. Also with how xc3 and to an extent fr was supposed to be the ending for the klaus trilogy, it doesn’t really feel like one? It’s not that there’s loose ends, I don’t really think there are any, it’s just that it doesn’t really feel “complete” ig and just leaves a lot of things unanswered. And while I don’t rlly like info dumps, xc does a decent job at them and is sometimes crucial for understanding the lore, and we just don’t really get one in xc3. I was kind of expecting a few scenes or maybe just a glimpse of the post-merge world of the xc3 or fr cast but didn’t get that. Which I get, but I still would’ve liked to see it.
I’m not really sure how to feel about how they handled Alvis. Man really did lose his melanin when he split but you never really see him in proper lighting so it’s not as obvious as in the art ig… Honestly with all the xc1 fanservice I expected more interactions with Shulk and A but uh nothing much happened other than Shulk calling A Alvis at the end. I get that he’s a computer and the logic behind how he became that way makes sense but it just seems so contradictory towards xc1 Alvis where he understood yes humanity shapes future with their own will, etc. Ik that part of Alvis became A but idk it’s complicated.
I saw ppl saying how Shulk and Rex overshadowed the rest of the cast when they were introduced, and I think I’m the only one that didn’t feel that way. I think the narrative just shifted course to focusing on those characters to focusing on the lore and world. And a lot of those were references to xc1 and xc2 which did give those two some more screen time since they’re one of the very few that remember those worlds. That being said, I do think Matthew is the weakest protag in the series. He just didn’t have a lot of time to shine and the story’s focus isn’t really on him. Glimmer and esp Nikol also felt lacking in the character department. They weren’t bad characters but they didn’t have much presence. At least they had connections to Rex and Shulk to work with.
The exploration was great though. Have a fully connected open world was cool, and I loved the little things you could look for like the ether, containers, relics, etc. Didn’t play X, but I think fr had the best exploration so far.
OH and the xc1 parallels! Like the zoom in on A’s eye at the end! And how you warped to the final boss similar to how you went to memory space after beating Dickson. And apparently it was intentional??? Like Alvis Alpha what are you cooking???
While the credits song isn’t my favorite, seeing scenes from all 3 games just made me feel stuff esp after seeing older Shulk and Rex. Like yes look at how they used to be, look at how they and we have come. And it was just AGH
Maybe I just need some time to sit on it, but I think it’s my least favorite dlc story so far. I think my expectations for both xc3 and fr were a bit too high which might be why I feel this way. Overall, I think I could’ve been satisfied which just watching the cutscenes or a let’s play.
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otogariado · 1 year
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people can have some fair criticisms about how lost handled its "end of the season twist endings that always try to be bigger than the last" but genuinely i think the way season 5 ended and the way season 6 picked up from it was so so good. the way the bomb actually explodes at the end of season 5 with juliet spending her last dying breaths desperately trying to set it off (i may just be dense but i genuinely didn't expect that ending scene) and the way they make you believe at the start of season 6 that their plan of "resetting the future" actually works by opening with the unassuming-at-first sideways AU was so so good. and the way they explicitly state this via miles telling sawyer what juliet's last dying thoughts were that she wanted to tell him ("it worked"). but then when the flash sideways keep unfolding you realize what juliet had meant about it working wasn't about the real world. and that there is no alternate timeline, no reset future, it didn't actually work. but that was juliet experiencing the flash sideways and thinking that it was the real physical world that made her say that it worked.
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10moonymhrivertam · 1 year
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simultaneously like having a Danny!Q daydream verse and knowing the logistics would trip me up if I tried to put it to paper
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mayasaura · 1 month
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It really dawned on me watching episode 17, just how important this sequence of events is to Kabru and Laios' relationship, and how. Well. That's for a different post. I want to keep this one free of spoilers. (Certified Safe For Anime Only™)(There are spoilers for episode 17, tho. Obviously.)
Kabru's main concern has been, at least in part, revealed. He wants to figure out if Laios is capable of defeating the dungeon, and, if so, if Laios can be trusted with the power that might confer. The answer to his first question is simple. Yes. If anyone can defeat the dungeon, it's Laios.
The second question is where things get interesting. Can Laios be trusted with power?
In the aftermath of Laios' first fight with Toshiro, Kabru learns that while Laios has no particular respect for the law or conventional wisdom, he does have the humility to consider that his judgment might be flawed if he encounters conflict with someone he respects.
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That is the face of a man taking notes, and I think he's making a cautious mark in Laios' favor. Laios doesn't really understand Toshiro's opinion, but he's listening.
Then, in the fight with the Falin-Dragon chimera, Kabru voices dissent—disgust, even—with Laios and Marcille's priorities.
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You can practically see the Dragon Age style approval rating drop. Kabru disapproves. Minus fifteen hearts. If it had ended like this, I think Kabru would have lost all interest in Laios. Someone who would sacrifice a dozen lives out of sentiment can't be trusted.
Laios' response, and the way it builds on Kabru's earlier observation, is crucial.
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He listened. And even better, he didn't listen blindly. He applied critical thought to Kabru's argument. What Kabru hears from him isn't just "I'm sorry, you were right," but also, "I understand and respect your position and priorities, and here's a very good argument for why killing what I still consider to be my sister is not in our best interest."
He processed Kabru's criticism and came to his own conclusions, and he did it fast. Not only that, but he's right. Kabru hadn't considered the potential consequences of killing the chimera.
Laios proved in this one exchange that he 1) isn't blinded by either his pride or his prejudice, 2) has the strength of character to not just fall back and surrender to someone else's judgment when he's uncertain, and 3) is smart enough to tactically outhink Kabru.
This is why Kabru is so invested in Laios liking him that he forces himself to eat the harpy omlette. This is why Kabru takes Laios' hand and makes sure he knows he wants to see him again. He doesn't understand Laios, and he still has strong reservations about him. Laios' interest in monsters scares him. But Laios has proved to Kabru that he might be capable of being the person Kabru needs him to be.
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Top Ten Pictures Of The Moment He Won You Over (Taken Just Before Disaster).
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eyeheartboobiez · 29 days
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-> 𝗃𝖺𝗌𝗈𝗇 𝗍𝗈𝖽𝖽 𝗑 𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀𝖾𝗋!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋
-> 𝗌𝗈𝖼𝗂𝖺𝗅 𝗆𝖾𝖽𝗂𝖺 𝖺𝗎!
-> 𝖺/𝗇: 𝗉𝖺𝗋𝗍 5 𝗂𝗌 𝖿𝗂𝗇𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒 𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾!! 𝗂 𝗐𝗈𝗎𝗅𝖽 𝗁𝖺𝗏𝖾 𝖿𝗂𝗇𝗂𝗌𝗁𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗌𝗈𝗈𝗇𝖾𝗋 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗅𝖺𝗌𝗍 𝗆𝗈𝗇𝗍𝗁 𝗈𝖿 𝗌𝖼𝗁𝗈𝗈𝗅 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝗋𝗈𝗎𝗀𝗁 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗂𝗆 𝖺𝗅𝗌𝗈 𝗍𝗋𝗒𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗍𝗈 𝗆𝖺𝗄𝖾 𝗍𝗂𝗆𝖾 𝗍𝗈 𝖿𝗂𝗇𝗂𝗌𝗁 𝗆𝗒 𝗇𝖾𝗑𝗍 𝖻𝗋𝗎𝖼𝖾 𝖿𝗂𝖼. 𝖺𝗇𝗒𝗐𝖺𝗒𝗌 𝗂 𝗁𝗈𝗉𝖾 𝗎 𝖾𝗇𝗃𝗈𝗒🫶🏿
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liked by cass.cain, rred_hood, and 4,105,018 others
@y/nforeal: GUESS WHO JUST WON A GRAMMY!!! fr tho i couldn't be more thankful for how far i've come as not only an artist, but an individual. now that award szn is over, imma take some time off from making music, because these next few months are gonna be busyyy.
again, thank you to all my friends and everyone who's stuck by my side through everything. i love yall🥹🫶 #grammys2023
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user1: WE LOVE U TOO QUEEN
user2: what does she mean by busy tho??
⤷ user3: fr like is there a baby on the way or sumn💀
cass.cain: SO HAPPY FOR U BABES !!
⤷ y/nforeal: THX GIRLIE😘
⤷ user4: idc how delusional i look i still ship it🤷‍♀️
user5: been a fan since day one, couldn't be more proud🥹
user6: not jason liking her post...
⤷ y/nforeal: right like im confused too
⤷ user7: LMAOO she so real😭
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Grammy winner Y/N Y/LN going to court?! From ruined careers to ruined relationships, here's the rundown that led to all this. (1/10/2023 11:54 AM PT)
Since August of last year, fans have been talking nonstop about the leaked track that's been trending all over the internet. With its romantic lyrics and suggestive imagery, the song — Fantasize — made its debut surprising not only the listeners, but the artist as well.
Renowned singer Y/N Y/LN was more shocked than anyone to find that one of her unreleased songs had been spread around online. Even moreso, when the culprit behind the act was none other than rival singer, Artemis Grace.
Which begs the question: Why would Artemis care to leak Y/N'S music?
Well last summer, her ex boyfriend Jason Todd was alleged to have been in an intimate relationship with the grammy winner. Ever since paparazzi caught the two kissing outside of Y/N's Malibu home, they’ve been rumored to have been seeing each other in private.
Supporters of the singer were more than ecstatic to see the two together, and were happy to see that both stars were getting their well deserved happy ending.
Especially Jason, who had spoken up in past interviews about his ex’s abusive behavior. Stating that the redhead was “more than controlling” throughout their relationship.
Unfortunately the so-called Fantasy was short lived, when the gothamite was seen outside of a nightclub with the toxic ex. Once the news broke headlines, while fans were more than devastated, they were just as quick to come to Y/N's defence.
Regardless of the heartache, many speculate that Y/N may have used Cassandra, Jason's sister, as a bit of a rebound! In fact, the tension between the two was more than noticeable in the interview they did together with Glamour.
As usual, fans jumped to the conclusion that their collaboration is what drove Jason to like Y/N's most recent post on instagram (an action that even she was skeptical about).
Back to the present, it seems that the redhead was also caught red handed. After TMZ investigators revealed Artemis as the culprit of the crime, Y/N made the smart decision to press charges.
On account of copyright infringement, as well as violating the original owner's terms of use, the offender had been served an official notice of the legal proceedings being taken against her.
However, because she failed to appear before the judge last week, Artemis was forcibly taken in by the authorities just this morning. The embarrassing encounter with law enforcement was seen by many in the area, and spectators did not hesitate to record the interaction and post it online.
Despite all the drama, fans are overjoyed to see the ex finally being held accountable for her behavior. And who knows, maybe the tragic story between star crossed lovers will get its happy ending after all!
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end notes: so what do we think, yay or nay?
taglist: @din0o0o @cipheress-to-k-pop @bonnie-tz @phatnyash420
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bunji-enthusiast · 4 months
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I'M IN LOVE WITH YOUR WRITING!!!! 💕💕
No joke, I love reading your stuff! It always has me kicking and giggling :}
I hope you're not stressing yourself out with the writing tho!! I know you prod want it perfect or close enough to it, but please remember it always doesn't have to be 💕
I love dogday as much as the next person but- huggy was my first and even tho you barely even write him I still end up loving him so much when you do lol. I really liked your jealousy one! I was hoping you could do one with huggy?? With an employee reader pls. So sorry if that's every little information, not rlly the best at requesting still.
Tysm!! 💕💕
{So sorry if I send this when request r closed}
Jealous, Jealous Toy
Note || AHHH your so sweet, absolutely I’ll try to write Huggy for this :)
WC || 642
Sypnosis || What happens when a jealous toy gets possessive of an employee?
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Order was an important piece to your life, you liked to be orderly and keep things to an absolute T. Even if it had meant fraternizing with your superiors, though you weren’t much of a sociable person really. Being more so closed off and introverted, you simply had opted to be straightforward and cold when necessary, never to employees younger then you or even lower then your position at Playtime Co.
Many had viewed you as odd when you began talking to the life-sized huggy, made real and ready to always interact with children. Benign enough to be harmless one would guess, just nobody would ever truly understand the level of ferocity one would possess if you were there. If anyone in the room had seen the same thing you did when that very event had happened, nothing was estranged enough to be sure – yet you still couldn’t explain it to this day.
Huggy Wuggy was interesting, strange but very cuddly to hug (as he was made to do). You always had thought he was neat, clean and cool to a point. 
“Hey Huggy! How are you?” Yet ever as always, the Huggy Wuggy statue had remained cold and conclusive, never moving unless it was in strange specific circumstances. “Right.” You never expected him to move anyway, another voice had snapped you out of your thoughts. 
“Hey brat.” Your superior, though he was one of the many, he was like an older brother to you. You thought he was lazy for lack of a better word, but his work ethics and accountability of words from other employees had proved that otherwise. You let out a large breath, stifling a feigned huff. “Yo, what’s your deal Daniel?” You asked him.
He nodded his head at your weaponized words, then walked up to you, laying a hand on your shoulder. “Just needing you to fill out some paperwork, ain’t nothing major then I’ll–” A choked noise escaped his throat, causing you to look up from where you stood, eyeing him wearily as you began to get concerned as to why he looked so pale.
“Daniel.. You alright man?” His hand on your shoulder fell off from where it had laid so gently, Daniel’s other hand raised to the spot he seemed to be in such a ghostly panic about. You too had been shocked, seeing Huggy’s row of teeth hanging over Daniel’s head, you didn’t know what to do. Huggy never had behaved in such a way, leaving you to raise a brow – lips pursed as you maintained calm in the inconceivable silence. 
“Huggy..” You began, raising your hands as a gesture toward Daniel to back away slowly. “Chill out, that’s just my friend.” Daniel had obeyed you, inching away from Huggy who clearly seemed to be pissed off. Conveying a means of anger as his hands were outstretched toward Daniel ever so slightly, Daniel nodded once more and slowly he had done so, trying to get him to cool off at the same time as you were.
“Can you get him to stop.. This?” Daniel whisper-shouted, you shrugged. Then you looked up at Huggy, maintaining a sense of eye contact with his own eyes. It struck a sudden chill throughout your spine, causing you to flinch as you had noticed his murderous intent, now it was slowly dissipating the further away Daniel had gone. “I think he doesn’t like you very much, I’ll come later for those papers all right?” To which he had nodded with an exasperated sigh.
Finally once he was out of sight, Huggy seemed to be less tense now – teeth relaxed and resuming his original position. You sigh, crossing your arms as you try to coerce your own mind about the events that had happened just mere seconds ago.
“Jealousy is not a good look on you my friend.”
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multifandom-hcs · 6 months
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heyo! first time asking~
hcs of how wukong, macaque and mk (separately but if you don’t write more than one character then just macaque) would react to their s/o who has a brother who looks exactly like her but male? like they: *screams in bisexual*
𝗦𝗢 𝗦𝗢𝗥𝗥𝗬 𝗙𝗢𝗥 𝗧𝗔𝗞𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗦𝗢 𝗟𝗢𝗡𝗚 𝗢𝗡 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗥𝗘𝗤𝗨𝗘𝗦𝗧𝗦 𝗜'𝗩𝗘 𝗕𝗘𝗘𝗡 𝗨𝗡𝗗𝗘𝗥 𝗔 𝗪𝗥𝗜𝗧𝗘𝗥 𝗕𝗟𝗢𝗖𝗞 𝗙𝗢𝗥 𝗔 𝗪𝗛𝗜𝗟𝗘 𝗡𝗢𝗪 😭💔
Y/N = Your name
T/N = Twin Name
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MONKEY TRIO (INDIVIDUAL) X FEM! READER WHO HAS AN IDENTICAL TWIN
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MK:
✩ Poor boy was so confused at first
✩ So, quick context. MK went to your house to say hello and play videogames as usual until your twin opened the door.
✩ His first reaction was "Oh hey Y/N! You cut your hair?? Looks cute on you darling!"
✩ Suddenly your voice behind the person infront of him made him realize he wasn't talking to you
✩ "Oh hey MK!" You said leaving MK in confusion and shock "AM I SEEING DOUBLE OR SOMETHING?!"
✩ He would be slightly offended you didn't told him (or maybe you forgot) about your identical twin yet he's happy to meet him (after apologizing a million times about the confusion)!
✩ He has to admit tho, the similitude between you and your twin was quite enough to make him internally have a bisexual panic, specially when at a certain moment he said "Gotta admit sis, your boyfriend is kinda cute"
✩ Eventually T/N and MK managed to get along quite well playing videogames etc.
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Wukong:
✯ He has to admit this was quite a surprise for him
✯ He was absolutely clueless that you had a twin, specifically an identical twin
✯ So the day he went to your house with his usual "civilian" outfit he would be confused and surprised of seeing this slightly taller but masculine version of yourself
✯ "OMG Y/N YOU CAN CLONE YOURSELF AS WELL??" The great sage was already jumping into conclusions watching closely at what he thought was a clone of you
✯ Eventually you would explain the whole situation and Wukong would still be amazed and even with a small blush on his face
✯ After presenting himself with a smile eventually he would grab your arm looking at you slightly offended "How come you never told me about your identical sibling?!"
✯ The only answer Wukong would obtain would be a shrug and a playful smile "Whoops my bad"
✯ He will forgive you for not telling him earlier, just give him a bag of peach chips and boom, apology accepted
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Macaque:
❋ Unlike MK and Wukong, the monkey was kinda aware you had a twin thanks to his overprotective nature
❋ Long story short he had managed to see you talking once with a guy, his jelousness appeared and after the guy walked away he would ask in a definitely chill tone who was that, you replied that it was your sibling making Macaque a little embarrassed
❋ What he didn't knew tho was that you and your twin looked identical
❋ Probably just like MK he met him with a misunderstanding
❋ Macaque had the evil intentions of scaring you in some random place at your house, but when he appeared he would say something like "BOO!... Hey did you cut your hair or sm??" "Excuse me who are you??"
❋ When you made presence however poor Mac thought he was dreaming or hallucinating , yet after you explained who this person identical to you is he said "Well damn.. I guess being hot runs in the family"
❋ In the end the flirting stayed like a joke between both T/N and Macaque, but if he notices you start to get jelous or uncomfortable he will inmediatly drop that attitude
❋ After all, he just wants his s/o to be comfortable and notice that he actually wants to get along with your family!
‎ ‎
︶ ꒷ ︶ ︶ ︶ ︶ ꒷꒦ ‧₊ ୧
Thank you for the request my dear anon! Again really sorry for the delay! By the way letting everyone know I'll also be writing for some S4 characters, for now only Azure tho so sorry Peng and Yellowtusk fans 😢
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tropicalscream · 2 years
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I made this into its own post because i cant stop thinking about it the most underrated character in the movie: Iosef Vronsky
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im still am convinced that it's wasn't the Maid or Katya by the end. it doesn't line up at all. It was Iosef.
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as we see in the flashback Iosef was ex-KGB, he had the training and lets not forget the motive. he was betrayed in the worst way by the man he loved, he was exiled to the wilderness and lost everything.
yeah he was avowedly a pacifist but remember he was also a hunter, he survived the Siberian wilderness for 15 years! he was willing to make compromise for survival or as he put it: "to sustain the life from those who are already dead"
He doesn't view himself as a person anymore, he sees nothing but a worthless failure
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observe how when he looks in the mirror to shave and the camera instead draws ur eye to the hunting trophy starting at the audience. a metaphor for how Isoef views himself
now what does that mean? We see later in the scene in the factory that he doesn't mean that literally but that those "whose souls have naught but stagnation creeping in them" no intellectual or emotional growth. which explains his hunting of animals, the odd death of O'Neil,
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but most importantly the everything in the otherwise misplaced cathedral scene. a scene that is out of left field UNLESS IT WAS IOSEF.
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So his philosophy of pacifism says the dead can be killed to help the living, dead means something with no chance of spiritual growth, he views himself as a dead waste of space.
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notice that even tho they're at the funeral for O'Neil, Katya looks at Iosef with mourning as if he's the one in the casket. A hint at Iosef's lack of worth for his own life
in conclusion: Iosef set things up so ppl would want to kill him, hed get his revenge by proxy againt the Lieutenant, and his death would be t,he catalyst to ensure Goncharov wouldnt have to go thru the same suffering as he di!
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did bc in the end Iosef still loved Goncharov. not as a lover or brother but as him seeing himself. seeing a hypothetical verison of him to not follow the same path Iosef did.
Which makes Goncharov's decision in the final act all the more tragic
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mochippyyy · 4 months
Note
Ven and Vel getting jobs xD
Dancer AU!! (technically Veneer isn't a dancer in this but my explanation will be on the bottom! TLDR it was just cool so yippee [there's lore!!!!!!!])
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Also! sorry@imadumdumjewel for the late reply!
If you guys req anything, I'll get to it, just may be a tad late...
Anywho! I ran a lil poll on Twitter to decide on the types of jobs they would have so here we go:
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So I actually forgot to put dancer Vel/artist Ven because I kinda thought Ven would kinda fit the thing but after I finished this art I was pretty happy I didn't put it on there lol.
I honestly think that the other job options seemed pretty interesting, but no one really suggested any other jobs, and almost everyone was enthralled with the idea of dancer Ven & Vel.
For Veneer:
At first, my friend and I were planning this, but nothing really felt right to us. I did suggest Ballerino, but it didn't feel like something Veneer would do without Velvet, because they kinda come in pairs. Gymnast was also a suggestion, but after a couple minutes, it was swiftly discarded because I didn't want to draw Veneer's toes.
Anywho, while searching for other options, ice skating appeared, and my friend suggested an interesting idea as to
Lore time:
When Veneer was young, his parents pushed him towards traditionally male hobbies, such as sports and more sports. When his dad saw a flyer for an ice hockey team, he signed him up immediately. However, some mischievous kid had taped a different number to the hockey flyer, so Veneer's father ended up signing him up for figure skating instead.
At first, Veneer thought he was out of place, after all, the ratio of boys to girls was significant and he found himself to be the only one in that class. He didn't enjoy it much and regretted that he didn't join Velvet in her breakdancing course. However, as he unwillingly went to classes, he slowly started gaining a love for the sport and noticed how beautiful it was.
That led him to go down into professional figure skating and join competitions, eventually leading him to go down in history. For Velvet
My friend suggested swapping traditionally male and female dance styles, which led to the eventual conclusion: breakdancing. Velvet is a strong-willed character who would definitely try to get her way (as shown in the trailer of the movie) and take the classes that she liked.
Lore time:
When Veneer got signed up to do ice hockey, Velvet felt like she didn't have to deal with her little brother all day, and felt that she had a lot of time to herself. At first, she found a lot of things to do every day, running to places, going to parties, and just generally having fun.
At this point, Veneer was still unwilling to go to figure skating classes, (turns out Velvet was the mischievous kid who changed the number on the ice hockey flyer into a figure skating course phone number) but since his father had already paid for a year, he had to go anyways. Velvet would purposely use this to upset Veneer when she didn't get what she wanted, but then would accidentally make Veneer cry, resulting in her getting lectured by her parents, and Velvet holding back tears as she apologized to Veneer (she was totes in the fault here tho).
She realized that the more free time she had, the more her parents would lecture her. She decided right then and there that she would sign up for a class. She spent days, scrolling her phone and watching videos of different skills to decide what she wanted to do. However, nothing caught her eye.
Then, one day, she saw a kid do a flip, and slip and fall miserably. First, she took a video and laughed, and then thought to herself, "Hey, I could do that waaaayyyyy better. That kid's a failure!" And so she threw herself into learning it, but unsurprisingly, she fell flat on her face.
She was unhappy with this result, so she immediately went to her parents and asked them to sign her up for a breakdancing course. However, she had a tendency to give up when things got annoying/hard, so her parents turned her away each time. However, both the nonstop pestering and the fact that she no longer was bullying Veneer (because she was too busy following her parents around and throwing tantrums), they finally gave in.
From then on, she started breakdancing classes, and Veneer was upset because now his sister got to do something she liked, but Veneer was stuck in ice skating hell. He was very unhappy for some time, but then decided, "If she's gonna be happy, I gotta be happier. I gotta upstage her". So, he took to ice skating and started focusing all his efforts on it.
Velvet, seeing her twin brother become increasingly devoted to learning the trade she had forced him into while she had just started to get bored of breakdancing, felt a spark of competition and decided to practice harder.
Her parents were really impressed. Periodt. Now they are famous both nationally (Veneer) and on the streets (Velvet, for breakdancing, not giving up). YIPPEE
THE END
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lightlycareless · 2 months
Note
I keep thinking of naoya making a fool of himself around y/n and y/n just being confused (idk) like he tries to get her to like him but it doesn’t turn out well😭 , idk if that made sense sorry!!😔
Hello!!
Awww this was really sweet to think about, however I got confused in the end and made it somewhat of a happy ending lmao.
Well, I still hope you like it!! (If anyone wants angst tho, I do recommend reading my valentine's day special. But I too been wanting to write something heart clenching for a while, might get onto it....)
warnings: highschool au. naoya likes you but he doesn't know how to approach you. he is ridiculous.
Happy reading!!
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A silly Naoya is more like an overconfident Naoya, the type of guy that will never stop bragging about ANYTHING just to make you look his way.
It's certainly worse when he's barely starting to acknowledge his feelings, getting to that point where he finally says "I think I like her."
To stand out and get your attention is something Naoya never thought he'd need to do, simply believing that his title as heir of the Zen'in and his outstanding achievements as sorcerer would've done the trick—but they didn't, and now, he had to put in the work.
Thus, the borderline ridiculous demonstrations of his persona, courtesy of Ranta's advice; though if it’s worth anything, this is not what he envisioned.
"Can you believe he didn't want to accept my assignment only because I didn't hand it over in a folder? That's so stupid, can't wait to get him fired as soon as I—"
"Wait, Naoya, Y/N's coming!"
"ANYWAYS I WENT TO THE MALL THE OTHER DAY TO THIS LUXURIOUS STORE AND BOUGHT JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING THERE AND STILL HAD MONEY TO SPARE, GEE WHY IS EVERYTHING SO CHEAP NOWADAYS??? AND PEOPLE STILL COMPLAIN ABOUT THE ECONOMY!! I JUST WISH I HAD SOMEONE TO SHARE ALL MY MONEY WITH—did she look??? Did she turn around to see me??"
Ranta sighs.
"No."
"Ughghhhhhhh what do I need to do to make her see me?!"
Though frustrated, he does not give up.
"—yeah, I think we're going to this super expensive resort for the weekend. I personally preferred to travel out of the country, but you know how my father is, lazy as always. If it were up to that old man we’d never leave the—and now??? Did that work?? Is she looking??"
But the results are the same.
Naoya would keep on trying, loudly proclaiming things that in his mind would eventually earn him your interest, or at least a simple glance….
Until he, eventually of course, tires himself out. Sorrowfully finding that his endeavors had been nothing but fruitless as you continue living your own life, without Naoya in your consideration.
You’re slowly becoming someone unreachable to his grasp, and while he doesn’t plan on giving up just yet, he does intend to take a break, maybe reconsider his possibilities… before coming to a conclusion where you might not be involved anymore.
And what better way to clear his mind than indulging in one of his favorite activities—secluding himself at the rooftop of the school building to read the newest release of his favorite manga.
Unaware that someone else might be there, coincidentally… the person he wished nothing more than to be with.
"What are you reading?" You'd ask upon noticing the intense stare of the young, somewhat handsome man, he’s giving his magazine.
"Do you mind? I'm bus—o-oh!" He freezes upon realizing it was the girl of his dreams talking to him, cheeks burning red as he closes the manga and looks away. “Don’t—Don't you know it's rude to sneak up on someone like that?!"
"Ah, sorry!" You chuckle, slightly embarrassed. "I didn't mean to startle you, it's just that you looked so concentrated, I couldn’t help but to be intrigued! Is your story really interesting?"
"...it is" Naoya murmurs, gaze returning to you—he almost glances away yet again at your closeness, but your beauty makes it almost impossible to do so. "It's the latest chapter, I waited a whole month to read it."
“A whole month…?” you repeat. “Wow.”
“Yeah, it was a long time—"
“Hmmm, not quite.” You teased. “I’ve waited years just to see the continuation of my favorite series! Talk about dedication.”
“Huh, well, I don’t think it’s the same—this felt worse because of how good it is.”
“Really? I don’t know, I can’t believe you—I have to see what you’re reading for that. You grin, he smirks.
“Is that so? Then don’t let me stop you from finding the truth.”
And Naoya happily obliges, both excited to share one of the things he enjoys the most with the person he adores most, as well as the fact that you’re finally setting your eyes on him! After all this time!
He considered it to be incredibly unexpected, and perhaps a bit silly how it came to be, unable to believe that it took so little to impress you.
But as soppy as it sounds, there is truth in admitting that there is no better way to get someone to like you, than by being yourself.
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omg that was so fluffy agkjasjghasjkghjsa cheesy too ahahahahah damn I surprised myself for sure!!
Rest assured, you heard Naoya do all of those things and consistently thought "Is he ok? Why is he yelling?"
After the two begin to date you'll tell him how weird it was of him to do all that hahahah though... "You didn't have to do that, I already liked you." Naoya feels even sillier :^)
Anyways, I hope you liked it!! I'm sorry this didn't end up in a sad note, I read the request very quickly and ended up understanding you only wanted an interpretation of Naoya being silly—though I do want to write something sad between the two, him messing up and all that. Luckily, I have the perfect excuse for that through other asks hehehehehe
Thank you so much for sending in this ask and for your patience!! Take care, and hope to see you soon ❤️❤️❤️❤️
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redxx95 · 8 days
Text
How Cherry Magic avoids romanticising self-sacrifice
Alright strap in boys, this is gonna be a long one.
Spoilers for the manga (mostly the english volumes but I will include a bit from vol 12. I'll mark it tho so yall may skip it if you don't want to be spoilered).
So in this one I want to examine how cherry magic does a great job at portraying self-sacrifice in a relationship as an actual flaw rather than a romantic ideal to aspire to. Very often you'll see characters in media putting their own needs aside for their lover. A lot of people will swoon at that because it is usually presented as proof of how dedicated they are to their partner and their wellbeing. (See... well the thai adaptation actually).
But what has pleasantly surprised me is how Toyota handles this in her manga.
Starting from the beginning, we all know the millions of things Kurosawa did for Adachi to get closer to him. After all, that is what's usually expected of him if we talk traditional gender roles. But one of the reasons Adachi even starts falling for Kurosawa is because of how he was for once able to do something for him.
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For someone with very low self-esteem, being able to help this super-capable perfect man is a big boost in confidence and also raises his own selfworth.
So now let's look at a few instances of selfless action and the consequences resulting from them.
First one is the disaster-date in volume 4
Kurosawa does his very best to choose activities that he thinks Adachi will enjoy. That is his primary concern.
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The effect this has on Adachi though is that the gap between them feels impossibly wide, only worsening his already low opinion of himself.
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Whenever Kurosawa does something big, it makes Adachi feel that much smaller. That's why he'd rather them be equals in everything instead of one giving more than the other.
Next is the argument they have in volume 8
Kurosawa attempts to, very selflessly, protect Adachi from his lowkey homophobic parents. He doesn't want them and their opinions to hurt Adachi personally, so he ends up lying to him to keep the peace. The effect this has on Adachi though is disastrous. At first he's just generally worried about why Kurosawa would even lie to him in the first place, but then they have that fight in their living room and you really get a good look at how negatively this affects Adachi.
The very first conclusion he jumps to is that he's not doing good enough for Kurosawa to feel secure with him.
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The next one is even worse, where he thinks he's not good enough in general. Both of these show how when pressed, he will default to blaming himself, believing that he is the problem first and foremost.
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And then, if all of that wasn't bad enough, this happens next:
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He's actually being self-deprecating again, something he hadn't done ever since Kurosawa told him not to in volume 5. And yes you can actually go back and check for yourself. Whenever he has negative thoughts after this point he's always pushing back.
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So there's an escalation happening here, one that is entirely caused by Kurosawa not sharing his burdens with him, by making their relationship unequal.
I think it also hurts him extra bad because they've had this argument before, just with their roles switched.
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So to him it must feel like Kurosawa is betraying the important lesson Adachi learned from that argument, which is that communicating with your partner is important, even when you feel like it might hurt them.
There's also something to be said about how most people would've probably stopped prodding when someone says "it's something I can't tell you", but Adachi knows that Kurosawa has a pattern of hiding his issues from him thanks to the mind reading, which is the whole reason they had that argument in vol 6 in the first place.
So, to summarize: Whenever Kurosawa acts selfless it takes a toll on Adachi's mental health. Because of his low self-esteem he needs to feel on equal terms with Kurosawa to be able to see himself as worthwhile. (And obviously he also loves Kurosawa and doesn't want to see him in pain just in general.)
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So after all that, surely Kurosawa would have learned his lesson, right? Surely he wouldn't just do it again, right?
... Spoilers for volume 12 start here ✨
So volume 12 is all about Kurosawa overworking himself because he's been assigned this big project by their chief to oversee their company's spot at a stationery convention. (I didn't look up whether or not that's a real thing but it is in the manga universe I guess lmao.)
Adachi tries to help alleviate his burdens with mixed success.
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(On the left he feeds Kurosawa because he needs to finish his work and doesn't have time to eat. On the right he tries to take a phonecall for Kurosawa but gets told that Kurosawa needs to hear it personally so relaying a message won't do.)
Then Adachi muses to himself how Kurosawa was always helping him out in the past and how Adachi can't do anything for him in return, especially since they're in different departments. He feels very useless, which is once again bad for his mental health.
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Later at home, he offers to at least take over the chores for the time being, but gets told that Kurosawa actually enjoys doing chores so there's no need for him to help.
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Kurosawa tells him that all he needs is Adachi to be close to him, while making out with him on the sofa. And right here we see how he only got half the lesson he was supposed to have learned in volume 8: In their fight Adachi told him that they should both be happy and he should share "all the hurt" with him, too. Well, the simple solution to that is not to see all his burdens as burdens, then he's not hurting and Adachi doesn't need to bother fussing over him! Win-win. Epic mind gymnastics 😎 (To be honest, I feel like this is actually very relatable to people that tend to give more than they take. We get so used to the weight of the burden that we don't notice it slowly pulling us down.)
So Adachi obviously notices what's going on and berates him about not having understood anything he said from that fight.
Throughout the volume Kurosawa gets more and more overworked, makes mistakes and is confronted with unexpected complications. He's very adamant about not asking anyone for help though, stating that he "can't be bothering his senpais any more than he already has" and that he's "doing this all for the sake of his future with Adachi".
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He also still has some hangups about people seeing him as just a pretty face, as you can see in that flashback in the second page. He constantly feels the need to prove himself to others, which prevents him from ever seeking out help.
So when he inevitably reaches his limit, Adachi is finally able to be there for him, being the only one that sees through his facade.
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(That hand kiss is so precious 😭)
Also, on that first page Adachi asks him whether or not he's fine, which reminds me of this panel from volume 6:
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He really knows him so well.
Emboldened by his husband, Kurosawa finally does ask for help and is, of course, met with understanding and sympathy.
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.
Spoilers for volume 12 end here ✨
So all this to say: Sometimes, when we try our best to be selfless and to protect the people close to us, we do more harm than good. Sometimes we cause harm to others (see volumes 4 and 8) and sometimes we cause harm to ourselves (see volume 12). It is of course a noble cause but it's not something to strive for at all times and can sometimes be actually counterproductive to what we wanted to achieve in the first place.
As someone who breaks themselves apart to help all the people around them, this aspect of the manga resonated very strongly with me and is probably the biggest reason I got so obsessed with this silly little BL romcom.
I know that this manga is not like, the best in quality. I know it's super niche and silly and cannot compare to the big popular mainstream manga with lots of depth and thought put into it, BUT.
A piece of art doesn't need to be "good" in order to resonate with people. You don't need to paint the mona lisa to reach someone and make them feel seen. You just need some sort of medium and a will to communicate something to the observer. (Something an AI could never replicate but that is a whole other discussion.)
This manga reached me when I needed it and it communicated a message that resonated with me and that is all it needed to do for me to love it to the point of obsession. 💖
Finally I'm done with this essay it is so long oh my god. If you reached the end of this, I'm so sorry. I hope you enjoyed it tho.
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tkaulitzlvr · 8 months
Text
THE WRONG WAY - T. KAULITZ
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synopsis: tom hasn’t been paying you enough attention lately, and, when you finally snap, he can’t understand where you are coming from, until you reach your breaking point. can the issues between you and him be resolved?
content: angst
a/n: pulled this out of my ass lol, i had to rush it because i’m in the middle of another req but it’s nowhere near done after like three hours of writing so i’ll have to finish and post it tomorrow. sorry if there are mistakes, i only proofread veryyy briefly cause i’m so tired rn😭 hope this is okay tho!!
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"you don't love me."
i voice the harsh words to the silent room, clearly and with every sense of belief behind my statement. to my discomfort, saying it out loud does not make me feel any more at ease, in fact seeing the way tom’s entire body breaks for a second, processing what i had just said, before trying to cover the hurt on his face up, only suffocates me even more. the lump in my throat only gets bigger, the tension in the air thickening by the second.
"wow." he begins, shaking his head, trying to wrap his head around how i could even come to that conclusion. "that’s an awful accusation." he glances at me, his eyes already glossy, giving me enough of an idea on how much i have hurt him by uttering those four words. however i stick to it, figuring that it is too late to back out now. within me, behind all the anger, all the upset, i feel that it is true. i sense that he no longer feels the same way he did when he met me, all those years ago, the love within his eyes slowly diminishing until it is now long gone.
"and also." he speaks, leaning forward and looking directly into my eyes, staying in his position spread on the end of the other couch. "it's not true. you know it isn't."
the pressure of his gaze leaves me unable to hold eye contact with him, looking away sheepishly into my lap, hoping that somehow the ground could swallow me up. i grit my teeth, locking my jaw in anger, feeling no reassurance from his quick denial of my statement. so i decide to challenge him, standing my ground despite the nausea only growing within me. though his voice seems somewhat certain, i refuse to believe that i am making it up, that it is all in my head. "do i though tom?"
my eyes meet his, except the ones looking into me are foreign. they are angry, a glint of hostility present within them that i had not yet witnessed, this change taking me aback, yet i refuse to look away. he is sad. those eyes, past the resentment in them, i see pain. i see sorrow. i have upset him, far beyond what he intends to let out. he is usually strong, and perhaps right now he thinks that he is keeping this up, yet i can read him like a book, the way his left brow furrows, creating a crease along his forehead, the way his eyes cannot focus on one thing, darting around the room, i can see that he is struggling. and whilst part of me hurts with him, hating to put him through any sort of distress, i need it right now. because i am tired of feeling unloved and unappreciated - regardless of whether tom intends to make me feel this way or not.
he shakes his head, scoffing slightly in disbelief, letting out a shaky sigh, before speaking up, his voice loud, in contrast to the silent room. "what, so i've been lying every single time i’ve told you that i love you, over the past six years that we've been together? mind you, i say that every day, without fail."
i stay silent, my eyes becoming glossy as they quickly tear away from his. he takes my silence as a cue to continue, my sudden belief that he does not love me angering him as he desperately seeks to remind me of every reason why i am in the wrong. "don't i do everything for you? make sure that you're always safe, give you my everything-"
"give me your money, you mean." i reply, cutting him off. i don’t want to seem ungrateful - i appreciate the way tom would spend any amount of money on me if it made me happy. i am thankful for the house he has given me, the vacations he takes me on, the things he buys me, but those things are not the reasons why i fell in love with him. i fell for tom kaulitz. not his money, not his fame, not his profession. i fell for who he is, for him as a person, whether he is rich or poor, yet it feels that day by day i lose a small part of that. i have always understood that his job means that he will be away a lot, but it is hard to be in a relationship with someone that can't always be there, only their fortunes can.
"i’m grateful for what you do for me, really i am, but i'd much rather have time with you than the latest gucci bag, or the newest chanel perfume. if it meant that i would have to live with nothing for the rest of my life, i would do it. don't you understand? i want you - not your money tom! i don't need you to apologise with gifts when i don’t see you all day, i just...i need you." i am desperate, craving for him to hear me out, to understand that it is him that i need, but the way he looks at me in confusion shows me that i am not going to achieve that.
"i thought you liked the things i buy for you. have you been lying?" he completely ignores the point that i have been trying to make, this only fuelling the frustration within me as i exhale shakily, quickly grasping onto the opportunity to argue my point once again.
"i do but that's not the point tom! i like them because i feel like it's all i get from you!" my voice is raising, something which i did not want to happen. shouting never solves the problem, however right now i am far too angry to care. "i just want some of your time, to feel like you actually care! when you're with me, you're here physically, but your mind is always elsewhere. i just miss you. i need to you be mine again, i-"
"look, i’m sorry okay?" he begins, harshly cutting me off and matching the volume in my voice. "i'm sorry that my job is more demanding than others, i’m sorry that it needs a lot of my attention, but i told you this from the beginning. my career is a big part of who i am and things aren't always easy. they get hard, they get tough, but-"
"that's my problem! when things get hard for you, i don't fucking know about it! because you shut me out, every. single. time. i'm your girlfriend, tom. i want to know about your life, i want to help you, but you always run away from me! you spoil me with gifts and money to compensate for every fucking time you leave me in the dark! i don't want it anymore. i just want you to communicate!" i move from the couch, walking to the middle of the room and standing a few feet away from him. his eyes are glued to me, watching my every step, and he is listening to me this time. "am i such a headache to be around, that you can't talk to me? that you can't deal with spending time with me, so instead you spend your money to try and shut me up, because you have so much that no matter what you buy, it doesn't affect you?"
"don't." he voices shakily as i stare into his eyes, his expression more wounded than ever. my words stab into him, hitting him harder than i had anticipated. his fists clench against his thighs, holding every ounce of frustration. though we have argued in the past, i have never seen him this upset, regardless of whether he intends to show it visibly or not. "you know that i don't think of you that way, even for a second. so stop."
"you can't blame me for thinking it tom." i shrug. "you leave me out of everything, i have no idea what's going on in your life anymore-"
“because i'm trying to fucking protect you!" he interrupts, raising his voice once again. his hand slams against the arm of the couch, the sudden contact causing me to wince slightly. "i'm sorry if you feel like i'm hiding things from you. but i know parts of my life would just stress you out and hurt you. don't you get that? i'm trying to save you from the pain-"
"i want the fucking pain!" i fire back. "we are supposed to be in a relationship. do you know what that means? i want to suffer with you. i would choose that, a million times over, if it meant that i could be with you for another day. i want every part of you, the sad, the happy, the angry, i want it all. can't you see that i need you? i hate being left in the dark. i absolutely fucking hate it.”
my voice pierces through his ears, diminishing the tense silence as tom gulps, clenching his jaw and leaning forwards, pinching his nose with his thumb and pointer finger. the rash and quick responses don’t allow me time to calm down, my eyes becoming glossy with tears, the salty liquid staining my cheeks before i can try to hold them back, my weakness just as evident as tom’s. the pain, the upset, the lack of affection that have been feeling all spills out, reeling outwards from within me as i let it out, no longer attempting to hold back.
he looks up, his face softening as he takes in my hurt expression. he has never seen me like this, so broken, and the fact that he is the cause of this pains him even more, his mind coming to the slow realisation that it is up to him to fix this. although he doesn’t fully understand how i could possibly believe that he does not love me, he wants to try, to try and see from my eyes. he lets out a shaky sigh, swallowing nervously before looking into my eyes.
"i would rather feel the sadness, suffer with you." i begin, my voice small as the tears quickly take away my physical strength. "i would do absolutely anything if it means that you will love me, that you will do it with me, tom."
"i don't live a normal life, and i just want to keep you away from the crazy things." he speaks slowly, trying to reason with me, refusing to turn his gaze away from mine. "some people want to hurt me, and i would never forgive myself if someone ever did anything to harm you."
i try to wipe my tears and calm my breathing, wrapping my arms around my small frame in an attempt to comfort myself, quickly becoming overwhelmed with the situation. but my mind acknowledges tom’s change in tone. not only is he more gentle and calm, he also seems sorry, like he now recognises where he went wrong.
"what do you want me to do?" he whispers, defeated as his tired eyes meet mine. he is no longer angry. he is desperate, longing to resolve this. "i'll do anything. i- i can't lose you. you're my world, schatz, and i'm sorry if i haven't shown it, but you are everything to me."
though there are millions of things i could say, i stay silent, standing still across the room. my heart clenches painfully, hurting at the sight of him so distraught, as his mind considers the dreaded idea of what losing me would be like. his world is crumbling before him, the one thing he seeks to protect seeming to slip through his fingers. i have never seen him like this, so vulnerable, so desperate, and whilst it comforts me to know that he is slowly letting down the walls that have prevented me from truly being with him, it saddens me to see him in such a distraught state.
"all i've ever wanted is to keep you safe. to keep you happy, liebe, because if you're happy then so am i. but you deserve more than this." he points to himself angrily, letting out a shaky sigh. "more than this fucking idiot, who doesn't even know how to love. i’m so sorry if i've done it the wrong way and made you feel like i don't care. because you shouldn't for a second think that i don't love you."
everything that i have been craving to see is happening in front of me. i have longed to see him open up, to break down the barriers that separate us both physically and mentally. i don’t want him to be strong all the time, and it hurts that he feels he has to be. the tears fall from my bloodshot eyes once again - this time out of sadness for him. i hurt with him, hating to see him so upset, but i understand his pain, his anger, and i feel every emotion along with him. for the first time in forever, i feel connected with him.
after a few moments of silence, he stands up, slowly walking towards me. i refuse to meet his gaze, fearing that i will break down once again i realise how hurt he truly is, and looking into his eyes will certainly display every emotion amongst his beautiful features. his hand brushes tenderly against my cheek, wiping a fresh tear that had fallen. he reaches towards my chin, using his pointer finger to angle my face upwards so it meets with his eyes. he towers over me, taking in the sorrow etched upon my face, before tucking the loose strands of hair behind my ears, gently caressing my cheek with his lips slightly parted, shaky breaths escaping from them.
"please, look at me." he whispers, gazing longingly into my eyes. i comply, shifting my own eyes to the deep brown ones in front of me. they are full of adoration, and i feel the man that i fell in love with slowly coming back to me. "i love you, so so much, please believe me schatz. you are the most important person in my life, and i am so sorry that i've made you feel the opposite way." he chokes up, his voice shaky as i can tell he is on the verge of tears.
i listen to him, allowing every word to sink in, as it is now no longer hard to trust what he says. i feel what i have been desperate to - love. i feel truly appreciated, like i am able to confide in him like i once could. though frustrated it took the both of us to get to this state to make him speak his mind, i appreciate him opening up, his apology making up for the lost time. there is no shame in being fragile, and through his entire conversation, we have both learned this, a new found appreciation for each other gained as i feel safe again.
"don't feel like you have to keep things to yourself. i’m your girlfriend, i'm supposed to be here for you, and i'll gladly do it, but you have to talk to me." i respond, lacing my hand with his. a soft smile spreads across his face, contrasting with his bloodshot eyes whilst he slowly nods.
"i hear you. i’m so sorry baby. i love you." he whispers, pulling me into a tight hug as his hands lace together around my waist. he lets out a sob onto my shoulder, my heart breaking at the sound. he clutches onto me tighter as if i may slip away, my own eyes tearing up once again. it has been a while since i felt like this. i feel loved, and it is all that i have ever wanted from the start.
he slowly pulls away, resting his forehead against mine and looking into my eyes through his eyelashes. after a few seconds, he leans inwards, until his lips touch mine. the kiss is gentle, carrying every promise to love and cherish me like he has failed to do, and i gladly accept it, kissing back quickly and wrapping my arms around his neck. he pulls away, planting a few pecks on my lips once again, his breath shaky as the remnants of tears stick to his cheeks. i slowly wipe them away, not breaking eye contact as i do so, gently caressing the soft skin until any trace of sadness is lost within our newfound love for each other.
a soft smile graces his lips, failing to wither as he kisses me once again, the same amount of passion as the last, making up for the lost affection as i feel more treasured than ever. this is all I have ever wanted, to feel like he cares, and now that i am feeling his affection, my mind is oozing with contentment, the feeling almost foreign it has been so long.
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