#However~ I do not want to post it under the guise that people will assume I am trying to bait people to say things like that

[onii-onahole]

Lee Seongchi x Yamong

[boosaot]

While not a perfect person I dont think Jieun deserves to be painted as a horrible person,,

(the real villains of SfH are Jaeho and Goeun 😤)

Long post sorry 💀 hope it makes sense

I’ve seen people imply that she’s a bad gf because she’s leading on Jaeho, rude when Jongwoo tries to reach out for help/support, selfish and what not,,

She has a boss that walks over her, invites her to after-work dinners and gossips about her behind her back, forces her to pick up her bf’s calls as some sort of power play and singles her out by watching her like a hawk for any mistakes she can scold her for.

She’s far from respected and she thinks that maybe it’ll get better if she just keeps her head down and is cooperative. However foolish that line of thought is what else can she do? Quit? Im sure finding a new job is easy-peasy /sarc.

I do agree that her lashing out at Jongwoo isn’t appropriate behaviour but if my memory serves me correctly I do think she apologizes to him for it.

-

I find it extremely unfair for people to assume Jieun is reciprocative to Jaeho’s affections in anyway. He’s just a manipulative bastard who uses Jieun’s worry and love for Jongwoo as an excuse to hang out with her. Him making gross comments about Jieun to Jongwoo isn’t her fault either.

I truly believe that from her P.O.V Jaeho is a friend of Jongwoo who is worried about him and wants to be there to help. She does this know that Jaeho is trying to emasculate Jongwoo by trying to make it look like Jongwoo can’t provide the support Jieun needs.

Jaeho’s snide comments and manipulative behaviour are too subtle for Jongwoo to call it out without it looking like he’s reading too deep into it. Same goes for Jieun and her boss Goeun.

During the scene above i can see how it may look like Jieun is trying to get Jongwoo to concede to Jaeho but Jongwoo is truly acting aggressive. Jieun is genuinely worried about his sudden change in behaviour.

I don’t blame Jongwoo for getting mad at Jaeho whatsoever. Jaeho conceals his true motives and feelings under the guise of wanting to help Jongwoo. He only does this because it makes him look better because hes “standing by his friend despite his anger issues, look he even gracefully got him a job”. Everything Jaeho does for Jongwoo is something that can boost his own ego and public perception.

-

From Jieun’s perspective she might assume that Jongwoo is stressed out from moving from the countryside to Seoul and is on edge in a new environment. She tries to reassure him but I will admit that it comes off as dismissive on his end because we know the reality of his situation.

Let’s be real here, its not like you see people move into apts full of murderers every day. It’s such an inconceivable concept to Jieun that she assumes Jongwoo is just sensitive due to stress.

Even after being warned about them she still goes in the building and sees for herself that “hey these people aren’t so bad” because they’re putting on a front to her.

The only way that Jieun could fully grasp how evil the people at Eden are is if she lived there but never in a billion years would Jongwoo want to endanger her that way. He wouldn’t want to have his gf hurt just to make a point.

-

If I look at it from Jieun’s perspective I 99.9% believe that she’s within her right to be behaving the way she does.

-

However i do think that their relationship would’ve started to decline anyways as soon as Jongwoo moved to Seoul. Moving put him in a bad financial situation just so he could be closer to Jieun.

Jongwoo would most likely feel inadequate due to being unable to take her out on proper dates and do couple things. This wouldn’t be helped by Jaeho’s behaviour and snide comments.

The lack of communication and time for eachother would most likely be the downfall to their relationship.

-

(However in my heart they break up and Jieun gets to be all happy and frolic in a field while Moonjo gets to keep Jongwoo’s crazy-ass)

[jewish-sideblog]

Hi, Australian Jew here.

Sending this anonymously because I'm not openly Jewish on Tumblr, however I am considering doing so in the short-term.

I'm sorry to bother you but I wanted to ask you a few questions, if you're open to it (feel free to ignore this if so). Just so you know, I'm asking the same questions of the Jewish bloggers I follow who post regularly - both those who blog about the current Israel/Palestine situation, and those who identify as Jewish but post mainly fandom/other content.

Do you or have you receive/d abuse for being Jewish, or for your stance on the war? If so, how often? How do you respond to any hateful messages? Do you post them publicly or answer them privately? How much would you say your mental health is/has been affected by any messages, or by the content you see on your feed? Have you developed any strategies for handling social media during this time?

Thank you for reading. :-)

Shalom, Aussie chaver!

This is a question I've answered privately a couple of times, and I'm kinda surprised I haven't talked about it more publicly before. Thank you for the opportunity!

Before October 7, I mostly received microaggressions for being Jewish-- especially within goyishe queer communities. That sucked, but nothing I couldn't shake off. Since then, as I'm sure you can assume, it's been a completely different beast. This blog alone receives weekly hate mail, and that can increase to multiple daily death threats if a post I make starts to circulate. Some of that abuse is under the guise of anti-Zionism, but a lot of it is pure bare-bones mask-off antisemitism. 95% of the time, I just delete them and move on with my day. It's difficult to read them sometimes, of course. But there has never once been a hateful ask in my inbox that amounted to even a remotely reasonable critique of my character, of my posts, or of my identity. So they get trashed.

My coping skills for mental health on the internet right now boil down to two things. The first is that, for every death threat I get in my inbox, I get more thank-you notes. I hardly have a big following here, but it's clear that the people who follow me appreciate what I do here. Knowing that I bring more hope, strength, and truth to my Jewish community is what gives me the strength to brush off the hate mail.

My one real strategy for handling social media is the Queue. Oh, G-d, I love the Queue. I'm honestly only on tumblr for like an hour twice a week. It keeps me from the despair and the doomscrolling while still letting me post several times daily. I think my Queue is 50 posts long right now so I could stay offline for two weeks and not have to worry. The side effect is that I often reblog posts which are a week or so old, but as long as I remember not to cue breaking news, it's not that big a deal.

[unpopularfanopinion]

if your defense of ao3 ignores the racism and zionism displayed by both users and staff then you are in no position to call people white supremacists. protecting bigotry under the guise of "free speech" while belittling and shouting down opposition is exactly what conservatives do. don't act like the people who disagree with you are republican adjacent when you've used their ideals to make your point as well.

i hope you snap your neck falling off that high horse lmao.

I am going to try to say this as simply, bluntly, and kindly as possible. I have not compared anyone demanding additional content moderation than the current legal stand they use to being white supremacists. I have compared them to conservative authoritarians. If you think being a white supremacists, or supporting white supremacy is inherently or intrinsically tied to conservative authoritarianism you are sadly mistaken.

A Frank Wilhoit gave one of the best description of conservatives and conservatism ever

Conservatism consists of exactly one proposition, to wit: There must be in-groups whom the law protects but does not bind, alongside out-groups whom the law binds but does not protect

There is no marginalized group that is so inherently good and pure that they will not have members who desiring, power and control over others will try to place themselves as the protected in-group and others into the subjugated outgroup. (and oddly enough you're complaining about one such example of an oppressed marginalize group that successfully turn itself in a group of conservative, authoritarian oppressors. If you can't tell yes I am talking about the Zionists. While tight media control and propaganda helped them get away with it for so long, part if was also "Oh they were so harassed and oppressed in so many places and for so long. They has a people understand the pain of oppression. They wouldn't go harm another people.)

As I have mentioned in the past being conservative is more about a way of thinking and HOW you come to your positions rather than about the positions themselves. Studies have demonstrated that conservatives have a much stronger disgust reaction than liberals. So when an idea or concept triggers a feeling of disgust they immediately assume that thing to be evil, immoral etc. . . without truly taking the time consider if it’s actually harmful(or even disgusting sometimes it’s just different) This winds up making them fearful of change and non-conforming behavior.

This feeling of disgust also makes them feel justified in certain forms of bigotry making up all manner of excuses to call whatever disgusts them immoral. Such as supposedly leftist progressives being ablelist and claiming that any disabled person is basically a child and therefore featuring disabled people having sex(fictional or live action)is no different than CSEM.

Conservatism is more often less about the specific position a person claims to hold and more about how they got to those positions, and how they intend to fix the issues and problems that they find.

Conservatives hide behind claims of free speech when they wants to spam, harass, and troll people(and often using other people's equipment such as servers to do so) And I have noticed that when people like you actually seem to care about free speech on Ao3, when you want to spam comments, troll people, and harass people using Ao3's comment features either on news posts or on people's stories.

There is a lot to criticize about Ao3's response to reports of racist harassment, and how they resolve interpersonal disputes between volunteers, however none of that can or would be resolved by them even trying to make additional content rules or attempt to ban "bad fic" Because despite what you think someone writing a bad fic, or using certain tropes(tropes are tools, tropes are not bad) is not in and of itself harassment.

And also no, Ao3 staff telling one volunteer not to harass, and abuse another and reminding them of the professional code of conduct they expect from ALL volunteers is not proof of Zionism among Ao3's staff. Pretty much everyone involved in that fight on Slack on reprimanded for it but only one went crying to the internet about it. If that had happened between a Ukrainian volunteer and Russian volunteer and the Ukrainian volunteer quit would you be accusing Ao3 of being pro-Russia?

[kanelia]

voitko vammainen lesbofobikko pitää turpas kiinni

So this lovely person obviously following radblr has just sent me anon hate in my own native language. The first one says "shut the fuck up, you retarted lesbophobe" and the second one says "heterophobia does not exist, idiot. Kill yourself".

The only person who has ever been spreading misinformation that this is what I think is menalez.

I would like to point out that what peaked me originally was observing how grossly lesbians were treated by TRAs and/or woke/progressive people who had claimed just few years earlier to care about LGB, women's rights and consent. I never was a TRA, but I observed rising pressure to block and isolate people who were accused of "transphobia" under the guise of "allyship" and "proving you were not a TERF bigot". All these people to be ostracised were women, and most of them lesbians who had just mere moments ago represented the groups whose rights and protection had been central to the progressive movement. Unlike most of the people, who I had previously admired and thought to be fair and kind, I finally decided to take a look at what these women actually had to say and make my own opinions (I warmly recommend this to anyone and not just in relation to what TRAs claim, but in relation to what anyone claims about someone else) and I was shocked of what I learned: Lesbians did not only have 100% valid concerns and criticism over trans ideology, but they also had been receiving r*pe threats from TiMs, seen their spaces being swarmed by men, the so called trans "lesbians", and the whole meaning of a female homosexuality been erased. All these things would have previously made "woke" circles extremely mad, but now their reactions were "lies, this never happens" and "lesbians have privilege over trans women blah blah blah".

Yes, I am a heterosexual, but I am also a woman and a feminist. Moreover, I recognise injustice when I see it, and I do not like to grind my teeth in silence. After this, I decided to start to share lesbians' concerns and experiences with anyone, feminist or not, who would listen. I would show up to support them whenever someone spewed nonsense or hate about them. Like I expected, I was very quickly blocked by my former feminist online acquaintances and kicked out of Facebook groups and forums I liked to read and make discussions on. This is how I decided to start following radblr.

Because almost no one besides lesbians has risen to resist the gender movement, I am quite often assumed to be a lesbian myself by TRAs. I have received really nasty lesbophobic comments and fantasies of sexual violence from TiMs. I am fully aware that lesbophobia is real and rampant, and heterophobia, as a societal phenomenon, is neither of those things. I have never claimed otherwise.

I have, however, criticised this one individual in radblr who has brought up my sexual orientation into a conversation in a derogatory way and also claimed that I am a secret lesbophobe who does not care about lesbians. No, her words are not an indication of that heterophobia is real, but they are an indication of abusive behaviour, behaviour that i have a right to be insulted for. My opinion is that acting this way is not right, no matter who does it or what their own "oppression points" are. This is actually what TRAs do: They claim trans identity trumps lesbians and gays and gives TRAs a justification to be abusive towards people who have committed the crime of "transphobia".

After a recent rather colourful conversation with menalez, I learned how much intrusive online abuse she has received during the years. I still do not think what she does is fair or right, but I think I can understand the reasons behind her reactions a bit better and sympathise with her. I do not tag her to this post to pick up a fight with her, but because I hope she could sympathise with me a bit as well and because i want to show her the consequences of what happens when someone with so many followers and with such a big platform in this community, makes someone else a target.

I also would like anyone who sees this post to reflect a bit of what kind of people orbit this tag. People like dear anon here have no other reason to be here than to spew their anger at anyone who has been marked as a punching bag. I have seen it happen to several other people here. You should try and imagine how this would feel to someone who is a teenager, autistic or already depressed. I can not believe I need to even remind grown ass women who call themselves feminists about this.

I have already pointed out on multiple instances after receiving anon hate from TRAs that for years, I have argued online with MRAs, far right supporters, and people who have just been general assholes. I have never before received messages wishing me to commit a suicide and the only ones sending me "kys" messages have been TRAs. Until now. Now i have received suicide wishes from TRAs, but also from someone who dares to call herself a radical feminist and claims to be on the opposite side of TRAs. Think about it.

This is really all I have to say about this.

[divinelght]

𝐃𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐋𝐆𝐇𝐓 ― independent, selective tav/companion character from baldur's gate 3. AURORA MOROZOV (aasimar & life domain cleric of lathander), loved by ghost, she/her, 21+, beta editor.                 aes / about / visage / playlist / memes  ― traveling with @fromxgrace @sidxreus @beyondplanes @selunyte @occultritch !

a study in : hope, forgiveness, a new sense of belonging, found family, never giving up & the gentleness that comes, not from the absence of violence, but despite the abundance of it.

𖤓 ― aurora is an original character (tav/companion) from bg3 with some elements of dnd lore! i'm still fairly new to dnd, so it's nothing too crazy, but if you see something that makes you go "HUH???", please know i only have one brain cell and i'm doing my best. 𖤓 ― this is a 21+ blog. if you are under the age of 21, i will hard block! anything nsfw will be tagged as "nsft //" and any applicable trigger warnings will be tagged accordingly. if you need something tagged for your safety, please don't hesitate to shoot me a DM. 𖤓 ― tumblr roleplay is way out of my comfort zone, so i'm still in the process of learning the proper etiquette and the whole aesthetic/editing aspect of it! please please be patient with me. ♡ my replies will range from unedited and iconless to something slightly more formatted, but i do not expect you to format your replies whatsoever. 𖤓 ― this is a mutuals only space. i will not be answering asks, rp prompts, or DMs from non-mutuals and i will only be giving my discord out on a request basis. if i follow you and you can't see us interacting in any way, it's totally okay to soft block me! 𖤓 ― for the most part, i'm very low-activity and low-maintenance. i understand that real life comes first and will never demand a response from you! i just ask that you offer me that same kindness. i'm open to just about anything, so please don't hesitate to send me ask memes or random starters/banter. in that same vein, i love meeting new people and making new friends, but i'm also very shy/very bad at talking OOC, so please don't take it to heart if i'm slow, especially on discord. 𖤓 ― i am a sl*t for ships and i will not lie about that. however, i will not forceship on you, so if it's not the vibe, that's okay! additionally, this is a multi-ship blog; exclusivity is not really my jam, but i am open to mains! if you wanna write (platonically, romantically, hatefully), we can fully plot something or wing it, whatever works best for you and your muse. 𖤓 ― to go along with the previous sentiment, i also do not operate under the guise that my choice of romance in game translates over to roleplay! i have every intention of treating each connection/thread like it's special & new and i will not, under any circumstance, assume our characters will interact a certain way based on my own personal headcanons and choices for aurora that i've made while playing bg3. 𖤓 ― general roleplay etiquette rules apply here. however, godmodding aurora is fine if it moves the plot along (fading to black, if you need her to move for whatever reason, that kind of thing dlfgmldf). 𖤓 ― i have finished the game, so spoilers are allowed and might be present, dependent upon our writing (as long as we've discussed it first!!! i don't want to spoil anything for y'all). if i post anything from later acts, i will tag it as such!! 𖤓 ― racism, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, incest, pedophilia, animal abuse, aging up child characters for the purposes of smut, dub-con and non-con, etc., are all unwelcome here. DNI if you fuck with any of these things.

credits: icon border / psd

[hyperbcle]

@finclines wyatt stuck his tongue out, nose scrunched up in faux annoyance. "why should i be objective about the love of my life? don't snub me." now that he was, you know, allowed to be alive, he was shouting into the echo-chamber that was tiktok on some obsessive and overbearing boyfriend shit. his followers loved it, even though they begged for a finn face-reveal every single time he posted about him. and he was tempted every time because he really was the least objective person ever and wanted to brag about how pretty finn was, but he didn't want it to make it's way back to finn's dad somehow. it was probably for the best, anyway, because accidentally becoming a tiktok couple sounded like a nightmare and wyatt didn't think he'd do well with the serotonin rapid-firing at him via notifications. it was another addiction waiting to happen if he let it. "why are you shocked? people will do and say anything under the guise of anonymity, baby." he pointed at himself, a real-life example. "to be fair, while morally questionable i don't think it's illegal? you're just a t.a." assuming the student wasn't seventeen going on eighteen, of course. but finn didn't really know that, and he could feign plausible deniability or something. he blinked owlishly, caught off guard at finn's immediate acceptance of the idea. and he was thankful for sure, because it wasn't like he wanted to argue with finn. arguing always left him exhausted and itchy, and he could never truly feel good about it whether he won or not. but like... finn had just seemed questionable at best, and now all of a sudden he was agreeing and putting more thought into it than wyatt was. well, maybe not more, but he was thinking entirely differently about it. wyatt had been thinking more about how emotionally ready he would be for a dog - if he could genuinely care, make himself get up and hold himself accountable without making finn take care of not only him but another living thing. his laugh came out a little nervous. "hey, you know you're allowed to think about it, right? i know. i'm very charming and persuasive and needy so you want to give in immediately but this is your house, too. you can like, take more than five seconds." his smile was uneasy, feeling not for the first time that their power-dynamic was a little bit skewed. because look, he could mean it however he wanted but finn's feelings were valid and after the whole student loan thing and the house thing he was trying to be more mindful. "i don't want you to agree because i'm boo-hoo disabled or because it's what i want. i want you to want a dog." he clung to finn's shirt, head dropping back on a dramatic groan that was somewhere between bratty and exasperated. he was maybe trying to make light of the disabled thing, because complex ptsd is like that. but whatever. his point remained. "five? sure, sure." he agreed, solely because what did he know, honestly? his head tilted onto his shoulder curiously, eyebrows pulling together. and... huh? finn was going out of his way to ask about park? his confusion was apparent, using the back of his hand to feel finn's forehead. "are you running a fever? what'd you do to with my boyfriend? who are you?"

[glassprism]

Your answer to anon about Christine not knowing the Phantom forgets that in both, Erik has been tutoring her for a least a few months before she goes through the mirror. He is no stranger to her. A stern teacher, certainly, but someone who cares about her. As for Buquet, his body was found hanging in the cellar, so there was no reason for Christine to assume she would be next. She knew of his death through gossip, not personal experience.

As for ALW, Buquet was killed because the managers were hesitant for Christine to sing. Again, no reason for Christine to be afraid for her own life, although, yes, she was duly upset.

She entered the mirror because she trusted the Angel - hypnotized or not. Not sure what she expected when she snuck up on him to remove his mask, but it was rather rude at a minimum. Who goes around pulling masks off of people's faces? Even in his rage, did she think he would kill her? I have to go back to my initial observation that even though he was no longer an "angel" but a man, she still "knew" him. There was enough of a connection there for Christine to know he would not hurt her. Angry as he was, even trying to grab her - it was mostly words he threw at her. The run around the room burned off enough steam for him to come to his senses and want to explain to her. Being Christine, she listened. As for the grasshopper vs scorpion challenge in Leroux and ALW's stay with me and Raoul goes free or choose to leave and Raoul dies: in both instances the choice is obvious.

Christine would stay with him. No one was going to die.

JMO.

Wow, that is one long response. Let's break it down.

First of all, since the post you are responding to had to do solely with the ALW musical, and since I did not mention Leroux until the very end (and even then I noted it was an entirely different canon), I'm going to ignore all the Leroux references, save for the ending ones, as irrelevant.

Second of all, I should again emphasize that I do not think that the Phantom would kill Christine at any point. I do not think he would ever lose control to that extent (or at least, I hope he wouldn't). But the post was asking why Christine would feel that way, and to explain that, you need to get into her head, and the fact is that Christine does not know how her story ends. She is not an audience member, she is a character experiencing all of this for the first time, and that needs to be accounted for!

The rest is under the cut.

Your answer to anon about Christine not knowing the Phantom forgets that in both, Erik has been tutoring her for a least a few months before she goes through the mirror. He is no stranger to her. A stern teacher, certainly, but someone who cares about her.

I did not forget actually, because the fact is, the Phantom is going to Christine in the guise of the angel. This means it's very likely that Christine does not know a lot of things about him, things that would shatter the angel persona. She probably does not know he is a composer; she probably does not know his backstory; she does not know he has a facial deformity; she does not know he is currently squatting in the bowels of the opera house; heck, she doesn't even know he's a human being! And you can speculate all you want on lyrics like, "In all your fantasies, you always knew / That man and mystery / Were both in you", but it also has to be said that in songs like 'Angel of Music' and 'Little Lotte', when Christine is not in a semi-entranced, subconscious state, she seems fully convinced that she was being taught by an angel, not a man.

As for ALW, Buquet was killed because the managers were hesitant for Christine to sing. Again, no reason for Christine to be afraid for her own life, although, yes, she was duly upset.

So, when I was getting my teaching credential, I had a wonderful professor who taught the methods course of my program, and who would later turn out to be my observer when I was student teaching. He was very smart, very witty, very well-traveled, and his own care towards my work really helped me to gain confidence in my own abilities; it's safe to say that he made me both a better student and a better teacher, and that I highly respected and even idolized him a bit (as did many other students). I was deeply saddened to hear of his death about a year ago, because of how inspirational he was to me in my career. He meant a lot to me.

And if that professor had murdered a random dude for a mundane reason, you sure as hell can bet that I would be terrified and immediately have requested that I get a different professor. Oh, and called the police. Because let's face it, what's scary about a man murdering someone else, for as little a reason as "the managers were hesitant for Christine to sing" is that he does it so easily, which implies he's done it before and can do it again, and with no warning. That is frightening. Christine even says it herself: "And if he has to kill a thousand men / The Phantom of the Opera will kill, and kill again!"

She entered the mirror because she trusted the Angel - hypnotized or not. Not sure what she expected when she snuck up on him to remove his mask, but it was rather rude at a minimum. Who goes around pulling masks off of people's faces?

Who goes around hypnotizing random girls into mirrors? Who goes around dropping chandeliers? Who goes around murdering someone because two people didn't immediately comply with their request? But I get it, if Christine were smart, she'd have gone along happily with being taken to an unknown place with an unknown man who has spent the last few months lying to her. Stupid Christine (and rude too! Can't forget her rudeness, her most unforgivable sin here), how dare she try to find the identity of the guy who did this to her?

Even in his rage, did she think he would kill her?

Yes, she did. "He'll kill me!" she says in the rooftop scene. "Am I to risk my life to win the chance to live?" she says in 'Twisted Every Way'. Beat around the bush however much you want, but those are words she actually says.

As for the grasshopper vs scorpion challenge in Leroux and ALW's stay with me and Raoul goes free or choose to leave and Raoul dies: in both instances the choice is obvious. Christine would stay with him. No one was going to die.

And this part is what makes me saddest, that the choice is obvious and that it ought to be a foregone conclusion that Christine goes with him. Gone is the conflict that is part of Christine's character, the tug between her fear and her empathy, her horror and her pity, her wish for freedom and her undeniable connection to the Phantom. Gone is Christine's compassion for the Phantom even amidst his crimes. Gone is the understanding that she found a third option, one that nobody expected her to take, one that leads to the moment that makes the story most memorable. Gone is any acknowledgment of Christine's intelligence, her sympathy, her complexity. This simplistic interpretation of Christine is not rage-inducing, it's just sad.

Tl;dr: I cannot believe that it is 2021 and I am still arguing that Christine is justified in being scared of murder. What is this, 1990s phandom?

[indiaalphawhiskey]

I respectfully disagree with your last post (as an author). I’ve been in this fandom for 6 years and noticed it’s a little bit toxic when it comes to certain issues that should be normal and obvious to anyone.

I don’t get the “I choose the people I want to take criticism from” part. Ok, so why posting your work on a public page for independent writers where every subscriber will be able to read it and comment on it? Just send it to the people whose opinion matters to you and have a discussion about your work with them. If you post your work on a public page made specifically for independent writers, you are automatically posting it for everyone on that site. And every person has opinions on things and feels invited to express it if that particular thing is public and comments are open (I’m talking about respectful opinions, not slurs and offending someone).

If it was only for you and the people you actually want to get feedback from then wouldn’t it be easier to create an “élite” group where you read your work and then discuss it together? Because your post sends a very negative and exclusionary message to people that are reading your work for the first time or without knowing you as an author. It really seems like you are saying “dear readers, your opinion doesn’t matter to me so unless it’s positive I don’t want to hear it because this fanfic was written for me and this list of people.” Then don’t post it. But why making people feel excluded or bad because they did something normal just because they didn’t know it wasn’t written “for them” as you said in your post. And constructive criticism is just an opinion too as long as it doesn’t contain vulgarities, you don’t have to listen to it. Other’s opinion shouldn’t change the way you feel about your work but you also shouldn’t make them feel uncomfortable and bad for expressing it in a respectful way on a public page.

I know that authors on AO3 aren’t paid and that’s just for fun, but that’s what every page like AO3 is about: putting your work out there for other people to read with the possibility to express their personal opinion in a respectful way (I mean, you CAN disable the comments). Why making it public and then complaining and making other people feel bad for expressing their opinion on it? It’s not a diary or a personal Instagram profile.

So, first off, thank you for saying you respectfully disagree with me. I appreciate that you’re trying to be polite. 

There are many different ways I can answer this ask, because there’s a lot to discuss here, however, I’m exhausted by this conversation and have tackled it many times before, so I’ll link things when I see fit and get straight to the point.

My question for you is this: What is the purpose of you posting negative  (even though well-worded, polite, and tactful) unsolicited comments on a person’s fanfic? Why do you do it?

That’s not a rhetorical question, I really want you to think about the answer, because, for something to be called “constructive criticism” (which is specifically what we’re discussing here, versus the opposite “destructive” criticism) there has to be a point beyond just the fact that “it’s a public forum” and therefore, you feel entitled to express your opinion, whatever it may be. (That reasoning, btw, is called entitlement. No one said you weren’t allowed to have an opinion, but if you’re saying it to the author with no constructive, bettering purpose behind it, then at worst, your intent is to hurt them, which is just mean, no matter how politely you word it, and at best, you’re saying your opinions and preference take precedent over the author’s own.)

There are three reasons that I assume one can have when posting constructive criticism on work/art:

1. You want to help make them be a better writer, both now and in the future. 

I, and other fellow authors, explain why this doesn’t work here and here, and there are more posts about it like this one, if you need to hear it from voices that are not from the Larry fandom (which I assume you do, since you said this is a little bit toxic here particularly.) 

I encourage you to read all those posts, to get a better explanation in context, but the gist of them is this: for something to be truly constructive (synonym: helpful), the source, the timing, and the tact is key. Let me demonstrate: There is a difference between telling a friend while shopping, “I wouldn’t buy that dress, it’s not the most flattering on you,” and saying, while you’re out at a club, “Oh, that dress isn’t the most flattering on you, I wouldn’t wear it again.” -- Both are honest, worded politely, and both will achieve the same outcome: she will not wear the dress again -- but only one of them will cause undue stress, embarrassment, and self-consciousness (under the guise of being helpful), and that is all due to tact and timing. At the store, she can change into something else, and won’t assume you think she looks awful the entire day while you’re out. At the club, the damage is done, there is nothing she can do to change it, and you’ve just ruined her night.

The same goes for writing. I have seen people gracefully and willingly rewrite their entire first drafts based on astute and even harsh comments on their work, by their betas. I have never seen someone take down a fic and edit it based on a piece of constructive criticism given by a stranger on AO3. What I have seen based on that scenario, is people taking that criticism to heart and reflecting on whether or not they ever want to write again, because when they made themselves vulnerable, some people looked at it as an opportunity to ask for what would cater best to their own tastes, instead of appreciating the work as a true product of the author’s personal feelings and experiences. That results in less writers for the fandom, less content, and a whole lot of undue discouragement which is not something we want (nor is it actually constructive).

2. You want to engage the author in a deeper discussion of their work.

This is in direct answer to this part of your ask:

It really seems like you are saying “dear readers, your opinion doesn’t matter to me so unless it’s positive I don’t want to hear it because this fanfic was written for me and this list of people.”

You feel passionate (both positively and negatively) about my work? That’s lovely. I say, start a discussion with me. Ask me questions. Learn why I made those decisions. A discussion starts with an invitation to have a conversation (two ways, you say something, I say something, rinse repeat). It doesn’t start with “I didn’t like” or “This could have been better if”, and it certainly doesn’t start in a public forum, like the comments on AO3, where the writer runs the risk of looking like a defensive asshole. 

But India, you say, what if I don’t have the means to have a private conversation/the writer doesn’t have tumblr/they’ve long since been inactive in the fandom? The answers are, respectively: leave a polite comment asking if they’re willing to discuss, if they are willing to discuss, leave a polite comment asking how to contact them, and if they’re no longer active, find other friends with which to discuss your feelings in private.

But India, that seems like so much work. It is, flat out. But if you really felt that strongly about something I wrote, you would make that effort to understand it. Otherwise, why not just walk away?

3. You don’t know better.

I found this part of your ask extremely interesting:

“But why making people feel excluded or bad because they did something normal just because they didn’t know it wasn’t written “for them” as you said in your post.”

The reason I found it interesting is because it means that there are people who assume that all work that is public was made for them, to suit their tastes, which is, frankly, a bizarre way to consume art. I do not go into The Louvre, look at the Mona Lisa and say “I don’t see the hype, it’s not something I would hang in my living room.” I look at it and think “What does this piece say about Da Vinci and his life? What has this brought to the world? How has this helped people/art/culture?”

(No, I am in no way comparing my talents to Da Vinci, I am not delusional. But, I don’t think my work deserves any less thought than that of a professional artist, simply because I’m an amateur and it’s on the internet and not in a gallery, and you have the superpower of anonymity.) You asked me what the point was in posting my work publicly if I didn’t want to hear every single person’s personal (negative) take on it, and the answer is this: I post what I write publicly, because I hope it helps someone. I hope my thoughts, feelings, experiences, loneliness validate someone, entertain them, help them through a tough time, bring them comfort. I post because I want to invite people to lose themselves alongside me, heal alongside me, dream alongside me. 

(Notice how I said “someone” and not “everyone”. How I said “someone” and not “an élite group that discusses my work”, because yes, I do hope that my work positively impacts someone outside of my betas, my friend group. Does that mean someone can leave negative comments on my work? Yes. But should they? That’s a different question.)

I know my work won’t be a positive experience for every single person, but my goal was never to be relevant to every single person. So, my question is, if I’m not relevant to you personally -- if my work doesn’t touch you personally, heal you personally, entertain you personally, why not just walk away and find something that does? Who does your negative opinion really help? How is it constructive? What is its purpose? Why do you do it?

I will apologize for this, though: I spoke on behalf of all writers, and maybe I shouldn’t have. Maybe I should have been clear that though many writers feel this way, not all do. There are some, such as, I assume, yourself, who do view negative comments on AO3 as constructive, whether or not they are solicited, and I’m sorry to have spoken on behalf of you. However, I do still stand by this, though: it is much better to be kind than be right, and that definitely goes for comments on fic.

[a-shakespearean-in-paris]

Hi! I found your Dragon Age fanfictions on Ao3 and love them and sometimes check your blog too but don't have tumblr. What is this whole controversy about being 30 and liking Cullen being wrong? I feel like I'm missing something. Anyway, I'm 32, married, expecting twins and never felt too old for Bioware games. WTF

Hi there, thank you for the support, it means a lot! And congrats! :D

Well, to make a long story somewhat short, recently a video circulated on tumblr from TikTok, one of those “what your favorite X says about you” videos that’s pretty common on the platform, if a bit overdone. This one was a “What your Favorite Dragon Age romance says about you.” Some jokes I’ll admit I found somewhat funny, others just made no sense. (Someone explain how liking Isabela gives you “mommy issues,” I still don’t get that.)

However, what was most egregious to many, myself included, was what this person said about Cullen romancers. According to this person, all Cullen fans are “thirty year old white moms” who are “creepy,” and “Cullen won’t save our failing marriage,” and we need to “go back to making our kids chicken nuggets.”

So, various bloggers broke down what was wrong with this, other than the fact that’s it’s just plain not correct about Cullen fans (Hi there everyone, in case you didn’t know, I’m very Polynesian and a huge Cullen fan, also not a mom yet, though I would like to be one someday. :) )But the breakdown of why these statements are problematic is as follows (under the cut for length):

1. The comments were ageist. The TikToker wielded “thirty year old white mom” like it’s some sort of insult.  There is literally nothing wrong with enjoying a game at thirty, literally nothing wrong with being a mom and enjoying a game. I have news for everyone: when you have kids your life or personality outside of being a Mom doesn’t end. To this end, the comments came across as gatekeep-y.

2. The comments were also misogynistic. A woman in the kitchen joke… in 2020. Not only that, but related to the above, it implies that women can’t have hobbies outside of being a mom when they turn a certain age, and do you see the same thing being said about men and their sports teams, or fantasy football? I don’t know why it’s viewed as cringey to be a part of fandom when you’re an adult woman but dudes can still collect their Star Wars memorabilia into their thirties and beyond. Especially when:

3. Dragon Age is rated mature, and it’s always had the M rating even when it was just Origins. This is a game for adult audiences. If you’re engaging with the media online, I am going to assume you’re an adult. Not only that, this is an eleven year old franchise. People who played the games in 2009 can still enjoy them even if some of them have had kids during this eleven year period.

4. Related to that: most, if not all the developers, I’d imagine, are probably over 30. Should they stop making the games for us and make their kids chicken nuggets instead? Is this why we don’t have DA4?!

5. Cullen’s exact age is unclear from canon, he was probably around 18 in Origins, but there’s no way he’s not under thirty come Inquisition. A thirty-year-old crushing on another thirty year old is creepy because…?

6. I haven’t seen others mention this, but it’s something I gathered. To me, the video subtly implied the TikToker’s view that women need to settle down by the time their thirty with kids, which is pretty heteronormative IMO. I’m just not here for that you’re thirty you need settle down BS. I’m 26 and I get crap for being single, which is a whole other pile of BS I won’t get into here. I would like to someday, but there is nothing wrong with being 30 or above and single with no kids. No one has to “settle down” if they don’t want to, there’s no age where you have to “grow up” and stop engaging with things you enjoy.

Being involved in a few different fandoms I don’t see all the discourse but I did happen to see this, and as I said earlier I do not think the person who made the video meant any real harm. I understand the intent was to joke, but people can harm others under the guise of “jokes” all the time. I can tell you in my life, people have “joked” with me about needing to put on a grass skirt and dance the hula, and not understood why I’ve been offended because they just meant to be funny. Casual racism isn’t funny and neither is casual misogyny or ageism.

It was also discouraging to see people on the tik toker’s video laughing at the Cullen joke for being true, as apparently we need to “find a better romance.” And this lead me to say something in a post which I’ll repeat here, as this video managed to trudge up the same old discourse I’ve seen periodically on tumblr about Cullen since I’ve been here in 2017, and mind you, I started writing/tumblr THREE YEARS after Inquisition’s release: that all his fans are boring, basic, idiot women who just like him because he’s traditionally handsome and we just ignore his flaws in favor of his looks, and also he’s just the basic white guy in a slew of “more interesting” romances. Heck, early in this blog’s creation, I could see discourse within Cullen fandom about the “right” way to portray him. (I won’t get into this right now though, it’s a whole other kettle of fish, and this is a pretty nuanced topic in an already nuanced topic.) Speaking for myself, I actually don’t gravitate towards pretty boys. Cullen won me over with his mature romance route. And I like his arc in Inquisition and think it’s a good redemption-esque arc considering this franchise has a lot of characters to develop— but that’s another story as well.

Anyway, I digress. To me the post was less about Cullen and more about “older women” in fandom and how to some find older women here creepy. (and I’m sorry but if you think 30 is “old” I have to laugh.) Also, I have a secret for you: “older” women built fandom spaces as we know it, and we owe a lot of debt to those who paved the way for us to enjoy content, from the early days of the Star Trek fandom, and even before with fan zines.

Fandom is for everyone, and can we stop trying to box people who like A, B or C into certain categories, because your choices in a fictional game don’t speak for who you are in real life.

[vulpes-ferus]

What can one expect if they were to throw their character at Miyako? Mischief? Death? <.< What does her tarot card readings entail?

Well, the short answer is: it's really about what the other person wants out of the interaction, whether it's a one-off scene, or a long-term RP.

Allow me to elaborate!

What I mean here is... while Miya is her own person, she's very much meant to further things for other people/provide a catalyst for others' stories! I'll start with - no death. (Unless, of course, someone wants to kill off a character? I doubt that, however, lol!) But mischief of all sorts - I sort of assume people are somewhat familiar with fae, and stories of fox's trickery, and trickster gods and spirits... and she's right up that alley for those tropes. Mischief, trouble-making - illusions, charms, seduction, abduction?, deal-making, spells, maybe potions even? I haven't thought about those...but rooted in nature-magic! Very chaotic-neutral, with dark tendencies - kitsune are accused of not only being harmless tricksters who use human guises to goof on people - but also of possessing people, and seducing people to devour their souls in real world tales, so...why not here, too? In XIV, I imagine it sort of translates to seducing people to try and snack on aether. Though, again, that's dangerous and obviously not something I want to cause OCs like...lasting harm with. Just angst. Also, only with consent! She also doesn't have to be successful! Or maybe you make her a better offer - or a more amusing one, or intriguing one... we're playing with fae/fickle-nature-spirit vibes, so you never know. Offer her something ridiculous, maybe she'll think it's neat and want to keep you around! Though that might also prove a problem...

Or just bully her? IDK, maybe it'll work. I hear kitsune have to keep their soul safe in a little ball/gem, after all. Sure wouldn't want harm coming to that! She doesn't have to be the antagonist! Others can be her antagonist if they want - whether it's because you know the tales of kitsune/nogitsune, and you don't trust her! Or because she's conned you, or hurt you, or you sense her aether is weird, or you spot her fox-tail while she's masquerading around in public and call her out on it because YOU know the stories, or maybe you're just a plain old villain, yourself! ....there are legitimately countless ways things can go with her - there's no saying interactions can't end up relatively friendly, too (especially if you're pretty attuned with nature, yourself)!

I'm always willing to toss her out to be a supporting character in others' plots - be it an antagonistic role, or otherwise.

Another fun point - she's been trapped for centuries! The world has progressed a lot...she's going to be pretty confused about a lot of stuff! That's totally an opportunity for lots of different interactions! Maybe she'll have a soft spot for whoever helps her figure out the modern world.

tl;dr she doesn't have to be the one with all the power in the dynamic - the tables can readily be turned if you're clever! She's old, but has spent longer in her magical prison, than out of one. There's a lot she won't know. (Do I want to say 'just think of Loki'? I mean, she's a trickster, but she's not really evil - but it doesn't mean you won't get hurt, either.) - I did, as mentioned on her LFRP post, have in mind a potential plot idea for someone finding whatever magical prison binds her - offering for a unique relationship with whomever the person/people are that do the releasing... or don't do releasing. Maybe someone finds her who slaps another magical restriction on her from the get-go (or tries to...). It's literally all up to what others want - but realistically, if there's no interest in that point, I'm willing to just jump into RP and say that the magic on the bindings finally faded and she freed herself.

The tarot section is under the cut, because I'm taking forever and this is a long post!

Tarot

I own several decks! I may have her offer up which deck the other person wants to have cards read from (I'll have to get pics and post them here maybe...), though I'm certainly more familiar with reading certain of my decks, than others...though that means more practice for me, personally! I'll probably keep readings from 1-3 cards per question (I'll probably keep it to one question at first, and see how readings go/how long they take), considering a bigger spread can take a long while to really write out in a scene - though it can be taken under consideration to do longer readings...hell, maybe a scene even calls for more of an insightful read. I figure that the 'how' of contacting her can be made-up on the fly, as well - I've long had the idea of using her apartment as a sort of...well, naturey pocket-dimension? The person could be idly strolling through the forest, wishing for insight one moment, and be in her bower the next! Or maybe it's intentional, and she's called on at a shrine. Or just call for her out in the woods. How does any tricksy magical creature just so happen to show up to appeal to exactly what you want/need in that moment? It probably involves being in something that could be considered her domain...so somewhere in nature, temperate forests in particular. Or even a garden, I imagine. She hails from out East, naturally, though I fully intend for her to be rather drawn to the Shroud... how could she not be? There's a lot of room for creativity, there. (If I do readings I'll also be down to send pics of the spread to the individual, if we're connected in some fashion out of game - ie Tumblr, Discord.)

The short of it? If you want to meet her, we can make it happen. She can turn up just about anywhere, and will want to go mingle in public and see and do and try new things, as well!

[galemalio]

Mindful Consumption of Hazbin Hotel’s vodoo Content

There is no such thing as Voodoo; it is a silly lie invented by you whites to injure us. —William Seabrook, The Magic Island 

(Article and Study Link Sources will be in the reblogs because Tumblr doesn’t let linked posts appear) 

First of all, I’m not writing this as a Vodou practitioner. Or as a Creole POC. I’m simply an outsider making an effort to educate herself for mindful consumption of Hazbin Hotel content and avoid perpetuating misrepresentation of a religion.

(Image: Alastor with Vodou symbols and Vodou-inspired symbols behind him)

The portrayed dark magic of Hazbin Hotel’s Alastor is heavily themed with Hollywood Voodoo or the misrepresentation of Vodou in film. This can also apply with Dr. Facilier in “The Princess and the Frog.” Both characters are from New Orleans [18], [19] where Louisiana Vodou Vaudou is practiced. Both are therefore assumed to practice an evil version of said religion. 

During my consumption of Hazbin Hotel content, someone once pointed out the worrying factor of Alastor’s magic abilities identified as Hollywood Voodoo. 

According to my research, Hollywood Voodoo is a film outlet of “Imagined Voodoo” or the age-old White anxieties on Black people.

What Is Vodou?

(Photo taken from Huffpost)

Haitian Vodou is a religion of African descendants brought as slaves to the French colony of Haiti. It combines west and west central African religions with Native American and European cultural and religious elements.[1]

It is also known as Vodoo, Vodoun, Vudu and Vudun. But to avoid confusion, the term “Vodou” will be used consistently throughout this post when referring to the religion.

Slaves from Haiti are brought to New Orleans where it infused with its dominant religion, Catholicism. The Vodou-Catholicism hybrid religion is sometimes referred to as New Orleans Vodou.[2] 

(Photo provided by Cheryl Gerber)

All Vodou rituals are healing rituals. It's focused on the celebration of ancestral spirits (Lwa or Loa) through feasting, singing and ecstatic dance rituals to heal ailments and restore social bonds.[1]

Vodou practitioners believe of the visible world connected to the invisible world that can be transitioned to through Death. In the invisible world, the Lwa watch over and inspire us. The Lwa can be archetypes of human personalities such as Ogun the Warrior or predecessors. There is also the Bondye or their version of the supreme God who is loving but distant from individual human concerns. [3]

But despite this, a majority of foreigners synonimize “voodoo” with Haitian “black magic” or “sorcery.”[4]

What is Imagined Voodoo?

A Harvard study termed "Imagined Voodoo" to refer to the imagined religion and magical system of the American brain linked by the following White anxieties:

Black uprising

Black fetishization

Intermarriages that could lead to the dissolution of the White race

All under the guise of history or harmless entertainment, it negatively affects Black religiosity and in general, Black subjects. Unless we arm ourselves with information to prevent its perpetuation through us.

Alastor’s Themes and Voodoo Stereotypes

Stereotypes are often used in stories to save time on informing the audience through widely held and fixed oversimplified assumptions. The following Voodoo stereotypes are present in Alastor’s character traits and themes.

His Roots 

According to Alastor’s Wikia page, he is part Creole.[20] In New Orleans, the term can refer to many kinds of people. In early history, "Creole" is a term for:

A slave born in the New World[5]

A free Person of Color[5]

People of Mixed Heritage[5]

Later on, White French and Spanish people residing in New Orleans adopted the term to differentiate themselves from Americans whom they found greedy and ambitious.[5]  

A Creole person can be White, a POC or of mixed race from different places such as Haiti and Louisiana. 

The team behind Hazbin Hotel may have made Alastor part Creole in order to avoid religion appropriation. However, Vodou is not an exclusive religion. [6] (EDIT: Vodou is an exclusive religion.) And even if they want to represent mixed Creole people, pairing Alastor with Hollywood Voodoo may not be a good way to do it.  

Vodou practitioners today are targets of hate crime, especially in Haiti (sacred mapou trees are regular targets of vandalism and arson, worshippers risk harassment and violence, with lynchings not unheard of).[7] If the media continues to portray Vodou as evil, it may have a role in perpetuating the hate.

(Image of a Vodou ceremony from a video of The Guardian)

Depicted As Evil Magic

In America and Caribbean, Vodou was first practiced by slaves of African descent. Their religion was dismissed as superstition, their priests as witch doctors and their God and Lwa were denounced as evil. [3] 

“They were treated as cattle. As animals to be bought and sold; worth nothing more than a cow. Often less,” anthropologist Ira Lowenthal stated.[7]

“Vodou is the response to that. Vodou says ‘no, I’m not a cow. Cows cannot dance, cows do not sing. Cows cannot become God. Not only am I a human being – I’m considerably more human than you. Watch me create divinity in this world you have given me that is so ugly and so hard. Watch me become God in front of your eyes.’”[7]

During the Haitian Revolution, many of the slaves were Voodooists and some of their military leaders were priests who inspired and organized them to fight for freedom. The imagery and vocabulary of Vodou became threatening to European and American colonies and was then brutally repressed. [3]

(Image from Lisapo Ya Kama)

Years later, Hollywood Voodoo is rooted in racism and acts as an outlet for White anxiety of Black vengeance. One example is the movie, “The Skeleton Key” where Black hoodoo practitioners (who had been lynched) stole the bodies and identities of White people for years.

For Alastor to continue using Hollywood Voodoo themed magic may continue the misinformation of Vodou by inspiring baseless fear and horror. 

Voodoo Dolls and Pins

Voodoo dolls are universally associated with Hollywood voodoo and therefore, Vodou. But voodoo dolls are unheard of in the original Haitian Vodou. 

In reality, they were inspired from the "poppet" of European witchcraft after an American writer heard Vodou is a witchcraft [8]. This American writer is most likely Victor Hugo Halperin where voodoo dolls first appeared in White Zombie (1932) [9].

Dolls are used in Vodou but only to represent Lwa and Bondye, sometimes the dolls are nailed on graves and altars, in order for the practitioners to communicate with them. The dolls also act as lucky charms and are not used to curse or cause harm with pins. [10], [21]

Cannibalism

(Screenshot of Alastor the Deer Demon eating a deer)

On February 13, 1864, 4 men and 4 women were executed for abducting, murdering and cannibalizing a 12-year-old girl by Fabre Geffrad, Haiti's reformist president, who wished to make an example out of the 8 killers labelled as vodouists and leave the backwardness of its African past and its folk religion. With Haiti claiming their independence, the Westerns' view on Vodou was proof that the "black republic '' cannot claim to be civilized.[11]

No transcripts of the trial survive. The most detailed account of the crime was written by Sir Spenser St John, the British charge d'affaires in Port-au-Prince -the place nearby the village where the murder happened. It was his account that defined Haiti as a place where ritual murder and cannibalism were common and often goes unpunished.[11] 

(An artist’s engraving of the 8 “voodoo” practitioners found guilty of the murder and cannibalism of the 12-year-old Claircine from the Smithsonian Magazine.)

However, there was no other information supporting St. John's claim that cannibalism is a norm for 19th century Haiti. The only two reports of cannibalism provided was from a French priest in 1870s and a white Dominican ten years later. Both have no evidence and both are suspected from their claim that they have penetrated secret ceremonies wearing blackface -if they have been undetected. However, they have influenced Victorian writers who have never visited Haiti.[11] 

In the 19th century, American Jesuit missionary, Joseph W. Williams claims that sexual arousal from voodoo "orgies" causes devolution to lower animal states that causes them to cannibalize in an act of sexualized violence.[1] 

In Joseph Murphy's psychoanalysis, Imagined Voodoo allows White people to project their most disturbing desires onto a cultural Other.[13] 

"The erotic and ecstatic elements in African-derived religions are selected and transformed into images of unrestraint and become vehicles for white sexual and aggressive fantasies... What is ‘dark’ and ‘black’ within the white psyche is projected onto what is ‘dark’ and ‘black’ in the social environment."[13] 

Because of the accusations of cannibalism, Vodou is seen as savage. Alastor is hinted to be cannibalistic (as seen by a speed drawing of him, a deer demon, eating a deer).[12] To continue to associate cannibalism with voodoo practice may continue the harm of misinformation.

Vodou Symbols

When Alastor uses magic, Vodou symbols or veves would sometimes appear. 

In Vodou, different veves are used depending on the lwa or spirits the practitioners desired to invoke. 

(Veve image from Catherine Beyer)

Damballah-Wedo is believed by the Vodou practitioners as the Sky Father and primordial creator of all life. He is depicted as a snake or serpent and is seen as a loving father of the world whose presence brings peace and harmony. [23]  

(Veve image from Catherine Beyer)

A part of a veve in the screenshot is from the veve for Papa Legba -the gatekeeper of the spirt world. He is associated with the sun and is seen as a life-giver that transfers the power of Bondye to the living world. Rituals are started by praying to Legba to open the gates so that they can connect to the other lwas. [23]

(Ayizan Voudou Veve copyright 2009 Denise Alvarado, All rights reserved worldwide.)

The veve above is the veve of Ayizan. Ayizan is the lwa of commerce and herbal healing. She is associated with love and Vodou rites of initiation. Ayizan is believed to be the first archetypal mambo (priestess) and the protector of religious ceremonies.[14] 

(Veve Image from ErzulieRedEyesArtAndSpirit)

The veve above is taken from the veve of Papa Loko. He is believed to be the first Vodou priest. His name has nothing to do with the American  (EDIT: Spanish) slang word "loco" meaning crazy. Papa Loko is a revered knowledgeable spirit who offers spiritual guidance to those seeking formal initiation into Vodou.[15] 

Met Kalfou is the master of the Crossroads. He is the crossroads where magic manifests regardless of which lwa is using magic for. He allows it to travel without judgement.[16] 

Met Kalfou is often mistaken as some kind of demon or evil. He is believed to be the force through which all magic flows, be it good or ill. Met Kalfou is also the spirit of luck. As a manifestation of crossroads, he can see multiple outcomes of a situation. [16]

Santa Muerte is believed to be the personification of death itself.[17] 

Using veves to portray evil when it incorrectly relates to what they symbolize can result in misinformation. Even if only parts of the veve are taken to be used to portray malice, it doesn’t change the fact that they still came from sacred symbols. 

Is Alastor a Hoodoo Practitioner?

(Photo: Image of Hoodoo Candles from Wikipedia)

Hoodoo is based heavily on folk magic. It is not a religion. Although their beliefs have elements of African and European religions. Its tradition emphasizes on personal magical power with the intention to improve daily lives. Its a combination of African practices and beliefs and American Indian botanical knowledge and European folklore. It’s heavily practiced in the Southern US.[22]

Unlike Vodou, they have no designated priests or priestesses and no difference between initiates and laity. Hoodoo spells are commonly accompanied with Biblical text but are not performed in Jesus’ name. It uses tools, spells, formulas, methods, techniques. Tools can be herbs, roots, minerals, animal parts and personal possessions.[22]

Alastor MAYBE a hodoo practitioner. But there are possible problems of associating an occult of a minority as a tool of evil. It might be best if Alastor is only depicted using deer-radio-themed dark magic instead.

In Short...

Misrepresentation of Vodou has its roots on White fear of Black retribution as well as White “othering” and projecting of taboo concepts such as fetishization and cannibalism. This results in stigmatization of Black topics and Vodou practitioners. The continuation of Hollywood Voodoo plays a role in perpetuating its misrepresentation. However, informing ourselves may stop the perpetuation in us. 

[asunshinepuff]

Secrets of the Darkened Seas

🧜🏻‍♀️ Hello! It's been a while guys, welcome to chapter nine! Please please please give a like and follow to my co-author and best friend Luna (@ladynightmare913) because this story would not be where it’s at without her help!

Just a small reminder that the next chapter will be posted on Luna’s blog!

The included lore for this tale has been written under the guise of Fantastic Nautical Creatures by Newt Scamander. As always it will be taken from the book “The Secret World of Mermaids” by Francine Rose while still having my own twist.

Here's the link to the previous chapter, and if you’ve missed any chapters here’s the link to the masterlist for this story. 🧜🏻‍♀️

.

Chapter 9: The Escape

Remus was doing his best not to punch the pirate in the face, or at the very least refrain from tossing him into the open sea, which was a true testament to his restraint because the desire was overwhelming. Walking up to the deck, Sirius followed and Remus was praying to God for him to kindly shut up.

“I want to see him, who knows what you’ve done to him.”

“I already told you, he doesn’t wish to be anywhere near you, and I share his sentiment.” He looked at the pirate and for a moment, spotting pain in the other’s storm blue eyes.

But like a lightning strike, it was gone in a second. Sirius hardened his gaze once more.

“So you’ve been telling him lies then.” Sirius sneered.

Remus scoffed, “Contrary to the Captain’s reputation of being callous and merciless, he would never lay a hand on a child. He only took Regulus because he was treated worse than cattle.”

At that, Sirius had nothing further to say, what could he say when it was the truth?

An awkward silence followed the two like an anchor as the tawny-haired boy turned and continued walking on deck, the distant voice of a crewmember calling Remus for assistance. With a sigh, he turns to the ebony-haired boy.

“I have to go, but don’t do anything stupid.”

“What do you think I’m going to do? Sprout wings and fly away?” Sirius scoffed.

Remus rolls his eyes, giving a pointed look. “In this world? I wouldn’t put it past you.” He turns back around and walks off.

Sirius simply shook his head as the pompous tawny-haired boy walked off. He honestly couldn’t fathom why anyone would allow him on this ship. Then again, Sirius thought, it suited the infamous White Sea Serpent to have someone like him aboard his ship.

Pompous, the whole lot of them.

The crew were fine in his opinion, they minded their own business. Which probably explained why they were ignoring him as if he were the plague.

Deciding upon himself that he might as well look around, considering no one was really paying attention to him. He might even be lucky and find his brother. Motivated at the prospect of finding his lost brother, Sirius set out to search the entire ship. He went down to the kitchens, then to the cargo hold which, astonishingly, only had two barrels of wine and not a single barrel of rum.

There were many things Sirius could forgive, but not having rum was a crime he could never forgive. However, there was a ridiculous amount of white grain, labeled rice. And some strange red and green foul-smelling thing that made Sirius gag.

Next, Sirius decided to wander through the hallways of the cabins. Checking through the glass windows to peek inside, in the hopes of spotting his brother. At last, he reached a cabin door where a woman dressed in white sat in a rocking chair, holding two small boys, resting their heads close to her bosom, her eyes were closed and her lips were parted as she sang a soft lullaby that Sirius couldn’t hear through the door.

One of the boys was who Sirius had been searching for. Regulus was being rocked to sleep.

Regulus looked, in peace. His face had a healthy flush, his cheeks had rounded in only just a few days. His clothes were clean and he looked properly dressed. The woman in white, rocked gently, rubbing both of their backs.

Regulus shifted in his sleep, the woman gently lulled the child back into a deeper slumber, shifting to her arms to accommodate the changed positions so Regulus wouldn’t hurt his neck as he slept. The woman smiled as she continued her song, never once did she open her eyes.

Sirius couldn’t help but feel a pang of pain in his chest. Oh, how many times did he long for his mother to hold him as the woman in white did so for the boys, Sirius had lost count. Lost all hope of his mother ever giving them an ounce of affection.

And when Regulus was born, Sirius prayed that his mother would at least show affection to him. Instead, she treated them as nothing more than pests that she must learn to tolerate. Sirius tried to take to the brunt of their “discipline,” but there was only so much he could do as a young boy.

And as soon as Sirius was able, he escaped that hell hole. Leaving Regulus behind. He knew that what he did would only make things worse for Regulus, their mother would take it out on him, and Regulus wouldn’t have Sirius to take the brunt of it. Sirius cursed himself for being weak. Sirius had every intention of coming back for him, to give Regulus a better life. The tawny-haired boy’s words echo in his head.

“He only took Regulus because he was treated worse than cattle.”

Sirius wasn’t blind. Their mother never once loved them. Yet here was this woman, who was not Regulus’ mother, tenderly cradled him, sung him a soft lullaby, rocking him to sleep, as if he was her own, would make anyone think she loved Regulus.

And with how at peace Regulus looked, he might even love her as well. How cruel, for a mother to loathe her offspring, only for a stranger to show them affection and kindness. The boy was right, the captain of this ship didn’t kidnap Regulus, the captain saved him.

And just like before, Sirius came to a decision he thought was best. He will leave Regulus here. But this time, he was leaving Regulus in a place where he was clearly cared for and treated well. Regulus didn’t need him. With a heavy heart, Sirius turned away.

Back on deck, Sirius peered over the railing. He couldn’t swim back to shore, they were too far from land. But, he lamented. Spotting a lifeboat hanging by ropes. He could steal a boat.

Remus managed to finally resolve the problem the crewmate had been dealing with. Returning to the deck, his eyes scanned for the ebony-haired male. His eyes narrowing the longer he searched and still not finding the pirate.

“Captain!” A crewman called. Pointing towards the open sea, “The pirate is making a run for it!”

Of course, he would try to run. Only seemed to be about time. Rushing to the side of the ship, Remus glared at the jolly pirate, watching as his figure grew further from the ship.

He wasn’t even taking Regulus with him?! That good for nothing, pirate!

Captain Hua merely raised a brow, watching the pirate rowing away with an amused smirk. “How daring.”

“Been planning huh?” Opal chuckles as she stands against the base of a cargo net.

Quinn smirked, crossing his arms as he leaned forward on the railing. He looked at the greek woman. “Oh, this’ll be interesting to witness.”

“Shall we turn the ship?” The crewman asked.

“That won’t be necessary,” He looked to Remus, “Remus, please bring Brielle up on deck.”

Remus turned at Captain Hua’s request, nodding in confirmation. Briskly walking across the deck, he couldn't help but wonder why Sirius had decided to forgo his entire reason for ambushing the ship? Did he just not care about his brother anymore? Or had something happened for him to ultimately decide that perhaps Regulus was alright?

There was nothing he could decipher for himself, he muses, as he wouldn’t know the thoughts of the ebony-haired pirate. Or find answers for his theories. Sirius Black, the youngest pirate captain of their age. As infuriating and insufferable as he may be, there was more to him.

If what Brielle said was true, then perhaps there was more to Sirius Black than being a complete idiot.

This was the second time he considered the thought. But why? Standing at the base of the stairs below deck, brought him back to the matter at hand. He found himself at the door to Brielle’s room much sooner than he had anticipated.

“Brielle!”

Sirius couldn’t help but grin as he rowed farther away. He looked back to the ship, the captain, the first mate, and the tawny-haired boy were all watching him. He was over surprised that they weren’t turning the ship around.

Oh well, more time for him to get farther away.

He heard a loud splash behind him, they’re probably sending another lifeboat out to catch him, he assumes, chuckling to himself. There was no way they could catch him from this distance unless they used the ship.

The boat lurched. Rocking Sirius sharply, causing him to drop the oars. Sirius looked around the small boat, he didn’t see anything, did he hit something? The boat rocked again. Sirius looked back to the ship, and from what he could tell, more people had gathered to watch him. The crew seemed to be laughing. As if they knew something he didn’t.

The boat was rocked nearly capsized this time, Sirius gripped the sides of the tiny boat in panic. His eyes searched everywhere, was he closer to land than he expected? Did he hit a rockbed? A coral reef? Just what exactly did he hit?

Or, did something hit him?

There, from the corner of his eye, he caught a glimpse of white. But it was gone when he turned his head. His breath hitched as he saw a clawed hand grip the front of the boat, pulling it into the water. Sirius backed up, gripping the boat for dear life. Whatever it was, it was clearly strong.

The hand sunk into the water just as the front of the boat, ahead rose from the water. Sirius could hear his heart pounding.

“Oh hell, don’t tell me you’re part of that lot too!” Sirius found himself shouting.

The head had dark hair, pale skin, and two slitted eyes with finned ears, the head opened its cursed mouth, revealing a row of pearly white fangs. Sirius most certainly, did not scream.

The head then dared to smile like a mad man, then dove underwater. The boat shot upwards back towards the surface. Then it started to move, a rope pulling it along, as the thing pulled the rope.

The boat moved fast, then it started gaining speed. In just a few moments, Sirius was already within swimming distance of the ship. He started to panic that the thing pulling his small boat was going to make him crash. At the last possible second, the boat came to an abrupt halt, sending Sirius forward.

The crew on the ship laughed at the haggard sight of the pirate.

“So kind of you to join us again Mr. Black.” Captain Hua spoke. “Did you have a nice swim?”

At that, the head dived down, its scaly tail sending a splash right at him. He was soaked.

Sirius couldn’t be certain, but he swears that he saw a gleam in the captain’s eye. “Who are you?” Sirius couldn’t help but ask. He was no fool, that creature definitely belonged to the insane captain with the accursed sword.

“A man of many talents.” Was all the captain said.

The pirate was pulled back aboard the ship, the crew members took in the sight of the soaked pirate before returning to their posts. The first mate threw a blanket at the pirate to dry off. The tawny-haired boy had returned, a small smile on his face from when he tried to contain his laughter.

Remus looked to the pirate after a minute for composure, shaking his head in exasperation. It was rather a hilarious sight, and once again this was a new record towards Sirius’ idiocy.

Quinn completely found the scene amusing, his smirk still clearly evident upon his face.

The sound of dripping water caught Sirius's ear, turning, he saw the hideous head that dragged him back to this awful ship pulled aboard, The head then started to sprout bloody human-looking legs from its tail! The finny fish-like traits vanishing before his eyes, the captain wrapping a blanket around it.

Sirius’ eyes widened, it was the woman in white! The one who tended to Regulus!

“You!”

The woman, no, the monstrous head, looked to him. She made a mock gasp, her eyes widening. “You!” She responded. A wide grin on her face. Her teeth the same shade of pearly white.

“I take it you had your fun?” The captain eyed the head.

If it weren’t for the fact of what Sirius just went through, he would have called the woman handsome.

“I was only teasing.” The head answered the captain, who only shook his head in amusement.

Sirius decided right there. He did not like her. Nope. Not one bit.

The captain led the head back to wherever it was they were heading to. Sirius turned to Remus when he saw the tawny-haired boy approach.

“You let that thing near the children?”

“I see that you have been sneaking around. And the children are safest with her. Not to mention they love her. Everyone loves Brielle.”

“I don’t love her. In fact, I dare say I hate her.”

“Well, that’s a personal problem then, not mine. And why is that? Might I ask?” Remus tilts his head in mock curiosity. “Is it because she takes better care of your brother than you and she’s not even the same species?”

At that Sirius, only glared, he turned away.

“Remus.” The captain called from his post on the helm. “You have a slippery one on your hands, don’t you?”

“It would appear so captain. I can’t take my eyes off him for a moment.”

The captain nodded, then reached for his sword. Untying it from his belt, then tossed Remus the dark green sword.

Remus caught the hilt and sheath of the sword with careful hands, looking down to the golden snake that could quite simply kill him in one bite. Then he looks back to the captain with a questioning look, “Are you sure?”

“Perhaps it will give Mr. Black the incentive to behave himself.” Captain Hua gave Sirius a knowing glance before he looked back to Remus. “Besides, he missed you.”

With nothing further to add, the Captain turned away.

Sirius looked to the tawny-haired boy. “Who?”

Remus simply held out the sword towards Sirius, a smirk on his lips. Sirius instantly backed up when Remus brought the accursed sword closer to him. “Dúi hǎi.”

Sirius knew that sword, he remembered it quite well, and would kindly prefer to be as far away from it as possible thank you. He did not wish to be bitten again. But up close, Sirius reluctantly had to admire the sword.

It was a wide sword with a dark forest green sheath with gold accents that looked coral. The hilt of the sword had a metallic gold snake, with emerald gemstones for eyes. It blinked, Sirius backed away.

The tiny gold snake came to life, hissing softly as it moved towards the boys' hand. Sirius’ blood froze. Was it going to bite him?

The gold snake slithered up Remus’ hand, then coiled its cold metallic body around his wrist. It looked to Remus for a moment, flicking its tongue. Remus only smiled at the tiny deadly snake.

These people are insane, thought Sirius.

As if reading his thoughts, the gold snake turned to Sirius and hissed loudly. Sirius didn’t need to be told to stay away from that thing.

The snake looked smug. If that were somehow possible? Remus chuckled at Dúi hǎi’s antics. “I think he gets the message Dúi hǎi.”

Satisfied with terrifying the pirate, the snake hissed softly. Then winked at Sirius. These people were most certainly insane. The snake rested its head on the back of Remus’ hand and became inanimate once more. Its emerald eyes shimmering brightly with the rays of the sun.

“That is not a normal sword.”

“Thank you for stating the obvious.”

.

Links:

Previous chapter: Captain Hua

Masterlist: Secrets of the Darkened Seas

Moodboards: SOTDS, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, Quinn Sandoval

Tag List: (Let me know if you wish to be added!)

@whataboutmyfries

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[bibliocratic]

For your writing prompts, I’ve always found that the phrase “for you” has a certain gravity, so maybe something with that? :3

This was such a good prompt, which is my only excuse for why this is three days late and barely counts as a drabble at all.

jonmartin, post-S5 domesticity and parenthood

“He was showing me another room he's made it to on his game,” Jon offers as an explanation as he ambles back into the living room. “Some sort of creepy dungeon, lots of what I can only presume are zombies. He can turn into a dragon now with this magic cloak thing, it's all very sophisticated.”

Martin, whose knowledge and ability with video games both started and ended with having a go on someone's Game Boy Colour one rainy school break, makes a supportive, 'showing-interest' noise as he feels around for the remote before finding it wedged under his thigh, muting the sound of a gritty BBC drama he is clearly not enamoured by. He shuffles over to make room on the sofa. Disturbing the cat, who jumps off his knees, casting a betrayed gaze upon the offender before she haughtily goes to commandeer the high-backed chair usually taken up by Jon.

“Dragons are one of the few things that haven't turned out to actually exist, and tried to murder us.”

“Oh, don't be like that,” Jon smiles as he drops down next to him.  Martin's got a beer out of the fridge now Lewis has gone to bed, and Jon leans forward to snaffle it from the coffee table, takes an  slow sip, winces at the flavour and puts it back down on its coaster. “Swimming's at ten Saturday, isn't it? Still haven't fixed his goggles.”

“Half past, they had to move the rota round for some other thing,” Martin says distantly.  In the background, someone on the TV has their mouth bared in shouting, and some grim-dark poorly shaved detective is holding a gun.

Martin's shoulders are set tight. He's twisting his wedding ring round and round and round, fidgety and unsettled all evening, and now he's leant forward with his elbows on his knees, half-way through a beer on a Thursday night even though he can get funny about drinking in the house on a weekday.

“You want to talk about it?” Jon asks quietly.

Martin frowns, but doesn't ask how he knows. His palm opens from clenched to fold their fingers together, his touch chilly from the condensation on the bottle.

Jon waits for him.

Martin clears his throat. He sources out the remote again and flicks the TV to standby, the dour detective vanishing morosely.

“I'd like to talk to you about something,” Martin replies eventually. “And I know that we're not going to agree on it, but I want you to at least – hear me out, alright?”

“Alright,” Jon says carefully. A frown has rooted on his own face, but he pushes the curious simmer to a lower heat and tries to be patient. “Alright. What – what do you want to talk about?”

“What happened last week.”

“Martin...”

“Let me finish,” Martin says, his tone slightly sharper. He doesn't shout, never in the house. The only time Lewis sees his dad raise his voice in anger, he's belligerently got his hands in the guts of the boiler, pride the only thing stopping him call a plumber, or else he's stubbed his toe against the side table he always manages to catch.

Jon lets out a heavy breath.

“Fine,” he says. “Fine – we – we can talk about it. You know what I think.”

“Yeah, well, I don't.”

“It was an outlier. It doesn't mean there's a conspiracy.”

“I can't see why you're downplaying this. It was a threat, and you got hurt.”

“A few bruises from the fall. Look, Daisy and Basira handled it. They were – they were a lone Hunter. It wasn't anything organised, so I don't see the need to twist myself in knots when it won't happen again.”

Martin scoffs dismissive. “Last I counted, we've had three 'it won't happens again' in the last ten years. Face it, we've been lucky. This one got too close.”

“So what are you suggesting?” Jon says, deliberately calmly. Martin'll get to his point eventually, but he'd rather cut through whatever he's been stewing in for the past several hours.

Martin throws up his hands.

“I am suggesting that we consider the very real possibility that something like this might happen again. Something worse than some mangy Hunter or clueless cultist. These things out there.... there's more than one of them who'd see a former Archivist as a threat, Christ, I just want you to take this seriously...”

“I do take – ” Jon's voice spikes before he exhales hard and lowers his tone again. “Of course I take this seriously. Of course I worry. But if someone came here, if anyone came here, I'd – I'd Know....”

“Knowing didn't stop you from getting hurt,” Martin insists.  “It – it doesn't make you invincible.”

“I've never thought that...”

“We need to prepared, is all I'm saying. Your... the knowledge you get from the Eye, it's so much, it's so much less than before. So what if it's not enough, what if it tells you something too late or not at all?”

“Martin, I'm not going to get myself worked up over maybes.”

“Maybe you should!” Martin snaps.

They are both bullishly quiet for a moment before Martin holds his hands up again.

“Alright,” he presses on, lower pitched than before. “Alright, then lets deal with facts then. Fact number one: there are – there are forces out there that want to see you come to harm.”

“Martin.”

“Am I correct?” Martin repeats. His gaze won't leave Jon's. His temper's made his neck and throat go blotchy, but he's pressing his hands down too hard on his knees to stop their tremors.

Jon meets his eyes.

“Correct,” he says. Because it's what Martin wants to hear, because it's what Jon tries not to think about when the night-time drags loud and sleepless, and every noise he cannot account for takes on the guise of malevolence.

“Fact two,” Martin continues. “There is the possibility – no, no, listen to me, Jon – there is the chance, however small, that those forces, those people, could come here.”

“So what, we should install more locks? Buy more fire extinguishers?”

“This isn't funny,” Martin says waspish.

“I'm not laughing,” Jon replies dogged.

Martin lets out another aggrieved noise. He takes a moment, steeples his hands against the lower half of his face.

“That Hunter,” Martin says slowly. “Had our address on them. Knew where we lived. If Daisy and Basira hadn't sorted them out, they would have come here, and tried again. And if it can happen once, then it could happen again. A-and some of those people, the ones that serve their gods a-and want to make a name for themselves by going after an Archivist – ”

Here Martin's voice catches thready, the centre of his terrors finally excavated.

“I can't – I can't protect you from that, Jon,” he confesses. “I can't protect Lewis from that. And if someone comes here, what if you can't either? You're not – you're not exactly in the game of e-exploding people any more.”

“Been trying to give it up,” Jon replies. Martin's laugh is a little wet.

“Sets a bad example anyway.”

Jon rubs the skin of Martin's hand. He doesn't know what he can say to make this better.

“I would like to propose an idea,” Martin says. Softer now. More tired. “and I-I want you to hear me out.”

“OK.”

“Whatever it is.”

“You're not exactly inspiring confidence.”

Martin gives him a Look.

“OK,” Jon says, rubbing his thumb over Martin's knuckles. “OK, I promise. Whatever it is, I-I'll at least listen.”

Martin nods, and though his lips are pinched, he squeezes Jon's hand once gratefully. He separates them, and gets up, going over to his shoulder bag slouched by the door. He'd been vague, earlier this week, when he'd gone out on an 'errand'.  Jon had assumed it was something to do with their anniversary in the next few weeks.

Martin takes out a thick clump of folders from the stomach of the bag. Jon's heart drops when he sees the green-ink stamp of an imperious owl on the front of the beige folders but he says nothing.

“I have been thinking,” Martin says, planting himself back down. “About back-up plans. Last resorts, you know.  If someone does come here, if they're more than either of us can handle, if we can't keep our son safe.”

He passes Jon the folders. They're stuffed wide with statements, corroborating evidence, photographs, police reports, newspaper snippets attached with paper clips. Jon reads the introductions of a few statements as he flicks through, feeling not a little unmoored by the way this conversation has progressed – Statement of Dai Williams, regarding a library in Blaenau Gwent; Statement of  Michalis Charalambous, regarding an unusual wedding present – and something aches in him like a barely-forgotten hunger, twinges like an old wound.

Near the top of the pile,  there's a photograph, blown up to A4 size, of a book. The backdrop of an unremarkable desk, the cover itself blue backed, scuffed and foxed with age, the silver title decorated with florid curlicues: The Shipping Forecast and Other Nautical Curiosities. There's no author.

“What's this?”

“It's a Leitner,” Martin says. Not briskly, but straight-off the bat.

Jon pushes down several reactions with difficulty. Martin knows how he feels about Leitner. Martin wouldn't bring this to him, knowing what histories have left their scars on him, and beg for Jon to listen to him if it wasn't important.

“Go on,” Jon says, and nothing else.

“This book is currently in Archive Storage, where it's been for the past twenty or so years,”  Martin continues. He's to-the-point now, direct, and Jon appreciates it.  “Those are copies of all the statements I could find related to it, or people who have been in contact with it, and it makes up a fairly consistent picture of ownership and exchange for at least the past hundred and fifty years, records get a bit patchy before that.”

“Which Power?”

“The Lonely.”

That makes Jon look up. Martin's jaw is set for an argument but his voice betrays him.

“Tell me,” he says.

“The statements are all mostly the same. The book gets found or left as inheritance or in library donations, and some poor sod picks it up. Specifically, what happens is it renders people invisible when they read it.”

Jon blinks.

“... you're taking the piss.”

“No. Practical research did some basic experiments to test it before it was boxed up properly, they've – there's notes there, if you want to read in detail, but basically, you read a few lines of it, and you and whatever you're holding can't be seen. It wears off after a while, depending on how much you've read. The researchers went up to about a page.”

“There's a catch, obviously.”

“It's addictive to some people. Some of the people in the statements can use it once, get the heebie-jeebies then never touch it again, some of them can't shake the urge. The – er invisibility is more tempting to those vulnerable to the Lonely, or so the hypothesis goes. They read a little more, a little more and then, they're just gone.”

“So it's dangerous?”

“Yes.”

“Then why? Why show me this?”

“If someone comes here,” Martin says, “If it's – if it's the Vast o-or the Desolation or even th-the Slaughter, we can't fight them. We can't, OK, we-we have nothing that we could fight them with. So we can't fight them, and we can't outrun them, and I don't think hiding under the bed and hoping they leave is going to do much either. The best we can hope for is that we have a few minutes grace courtesy of your magical eyeballs. And that would at the very least give us time, to get Lewis somewhere safe, get out of harm's way, to go to Daisy's or something.”

“And your great plan is that we use a Leitner to what, turn invisible and sneak away unseen?”

“I'm asking you at least consider it.”

“I have considered it and it's – it's a Leitner, Martin! You know how I –  They're not toys, they're dangerous!”

“I know that! Of course I know that. But so is being unprotected! We wouldn't be using it for – it would be a last resort, nothing more. You can read the statements and the reports. I've read them all, over and over again, I-I've checked and doubled checked. As far as I can tell, the turning invisible is a temporary state.”

“For the right people. What about you?”

Martin does not meet his eyes.

“I wouldn't be using it.”

“...What.”

“I wouldn't – I wouldn't be able to,” he says. Quieter, self-conscious. “Much as I like to think that I'm – no. No, it'd be, it'd be too much of a temptation.”

Jon's tone has slipped flat and hard.

“So you're suggesting an escape plan that, what, doesn't include you?”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Jon – ”

“No!” Jon wants to get up, to stand, to shake Martin by his ridiculous shoulders, because how dare he, how dare he. “No, how can you even ask me that?”

“Because I need to,” Martin urges. “Because it's not just us. Because if the worst happens, I need to know we have some way of protecting Lewis, that you could use that book to make sure he's safe.”

“And leave you.”

“I'm not the one they want.”

“I don't remember them being all that picky about hurting whoever was in their way,” Jon bites back, and he knows he's louder now, that his eyes are getting wet and his face hot. “You can't know that.”

“No,” Martin replies honestly. “No, I-I can't.”

Jon rubs at his eyes. The anger's boiled over and out of him at a dizzyingly come-down from furious. He listens, wondering if they've woken Lewis, but he doesn't hear the squeak of bed-springs. There's a wind picking up outside, and the cat twitches in sleep.

He doesn't feel angry any more. Just sick and scared.

“That's not fair,” he swallows, looking at the damp-blurred image of his husband's face. “That – that's not fair, to ask this.”

Martin's moved closer. Places his hand back over Jon's.

“I know,” he murmurs, and he sounds sorry, but that doesn't help either of them.  “I know it's not. And if there was – was any other option, I wouldn't even think of suggesting it. But I'd, I'd like you to think about it. Please. For me.”

Jon leafs through the folders in his hands without taking any of them in. Martin strokes his back soothingly, and crowds in too close, not close enough.

“I'll read them,” Jon says eventually. Wetly and unhappily. “ The statements, reports, I-I will. For you. And if – and only if they seem legitimate – I'll come with you and have a look at the book myself. And that's all I can promise you.”

“Thank you,” Martin whispers, and presses his lips to the thinning crown of Jon's hair, Jon leaning back slightly against his chest. He clears his throat. “Basira's all for performing some more clinical tests on the book, if you wanted some more concrete validation.”

“Why am I not surprised,” Jon says, feeling too tired to enquire further.

They linger on the sofa for a while after Martin shoves the folders back into his shoulder bag.

“I better put the dishes away,” Martin says.

“Leave them. I'll do them in the morning.”

Their bedtime routine is closer and quieter. Usually Martin goes up first, and Jon watches the newspaper review or the tail end of a documentary, but tonight he trails after him as Martin checks all the plugs and double-checks all the locks.

Martin pokes his head into Lewis' room, even though they said their goodnights hours ago. Jon can't begrudge him the anxiety.

“Kicked all the blankets off as usual,” he reports back as they knock elbows in the bathroom, Jon's mouth full of toothpaste, passing Martin a water glass to take his statins. Martin dutifully swallows the pill before reaching for his own toothbrush. “He sleeps like you, arms flung out all over the place.”

Jon doesn't deny it.

Jon gets into bed first, and fusses with chargers and alarms while Martin gets into a t-shirt and boxers. He gets the light and Jon follows the sound he makes as he approaches the bed in plunging darkness, the disturbance of the covers. Jon immediately curls against his shape, tucking himself tight and buried against his chest.

Martin doesn't comment on how clingy Jon is, how he knots their legs together, clutches him over-tight. On how hot the bed is going to get, on how his arm will go numb quickly from the angle. His own arms come around just as fiercely. He tells Jon goodnight, that he loves him into his hair, and Jon whispers it back into the dark and the heat, and knows it's true to the bones of him.

Neither of them sleep all that much that night.

[alto-angel]

in this post, i would like to present my thesis on why the song metaphor by the crane wives belongs to goro akechi.

"i've gotten good at leaning on metaphors": goro's speech as the detective prince is very flowery, exaggerated, and calculated, in order to please the crowds of people with their eyes trained on him at all times. public appearances, television shows, and interviews are all very important for his image, and as such he's forced to adapt his speech and choose his wording carefully to appease those watching. robbie daymond especially does a very good job of vocally pushing the line of politeness into a tone that sounds just a bit too sugary to be genuine, but not something u would notice unless u were listening closely.

"i've gotten good at living on someone else's page": much like the first line, this one can also refer to goro's public image. because he's put an immense amount of work into his life as the detective prince, he aims to please. or at least, he needs to act as though he does. in order to keep up appearances, he needs to be able to get a read of those around him and keep himself on the same wavelength as them. this also applies to shido—not only does goro need to please his fans, but shido as well, in order to stay one step ahead of him. goro is purposefully putting himself on eggshells every day of his life, and in order to keep that up as well as keep himself safe, this is what he has to practice.

"i cut my teeth on secondhand sentiments": goro is often forced to follow a script, or at least an embellished, public-friendly version of his own thoughts. the things that he says when acting as the detective prince are rarely ever his own thoughts as they would be presented in normal conversation. goro has to hide his true opinion of the phantom thieves behind crowd pleasing buzzwords, keep up appearances by catering his opinions, and even quotes philosophers and other literature ("to paraphrase hegel"). the things that he says as detective prince goro akechi are rarely ever entirely his own, and he's gotten very good at tailoring his speech.

"you can't trust a single thing i say": this one, i think, is fairly self-explanatory. the "you" doesn't just apply to the phantom thieves, but to those goro works with as well. what is it he says to sae; "to trick your enemies, you must first trick your allies"? he uses deception to get what he wants, but his primary motivation for it is to move his plan forward, and to protect himself. obviously, if he were honest with shido, he would've been killed on the spot. goro's proficiency with lies isn't just a tool he uses, but a defense mechanism as well. bc of his fear of and difficulty grasping the concept of opening up to someone, through that skill, he is able to keep himself closed off and in control (that is, until he meets akira).

"i keep my closet free of skeletons": this one strikes me as irony, personally. goro's closet is so full of skeletons that it's practically bursting at the seams. but as the detective prince, something like that just isn't allowed. he needs to play the part, otherwise he pays the price. as himself, as goro akechi, he's got so many skeletons in his closet that he probably can't open the door anymore. but as the detective prince, he has to uphold an air of perfection that seems unattainable to others. goro as the detective prince is the epitome of the culture behind the idolization of celebrities, and the way others place and expect them on pedestals of something near godhood, far above the rest of the world.

"cause i'm much better at digging graves": well, goro akechi is certainly no stranger to the art of killing someone without a trace. we have no idea how many shutdowns or breakdowns he induced over the course of his professional relationship with shido. but i also think this lyric in tandem with the one right before it could relate to goro's tendencies towards repression; the idea that he cannot and should not have any "demons" or "skeletons"—such as past traumas, meaningful relationships, or feelings that he's jammed down and shut the closet doors on, if u will—bc since vengeance is his only objective, then digging graves is his primary task, or the only thing he's good for, in his mind. the word skeletons doesn't have to represent mistakes specifically, but could also refer to how goro views his own heart and how he deals with his emotions. something like, he feels he shouldn't deal with all that turbulence, bc he's far better at warping it into anger—something that he's used to dealing with, and can easily rationalize. the more complicated emotions, not so much.

"but i always dig up bones in your sympathy": this is where i start connecting things to goro and akira specifically. another definition of sympathy entails two people who share an understanding of each other. doesn't that sound like goro and akira to u? so, if u take these lyrics to be from goro to akira, it feels to me like this one could represent his regrets/desire to leave his situation. according to rank seven of his confidant in royal, we know that goro is practically screaming for help before the events of sae's palace. unfortunately, as the player, we are not able to save him. but i think this lyric could represent his desire to connect with akira despite his better judgement—"dig up bones," as in; i'll still arrive at the decision to bury them in the first place, but bc we have an understanding, i'll show u as well as i can that i do not want to be doing this. and that's exactly how rank seven with goro plays out, through the metaphor of a billiards game.

"i can't trust a single thing you say": this could refer to the fact that both goro and akira are withholding truths from each other throughout their relationship, and since they are of equal standing, the same deception that applies to goro would apply to akira as well, albiet in a far different way. however, i can also see it as an unwillingness on goro's part; he feels as though he cannot trust akira not bc akira is truly lying to him, but bc there's no other way for him to rationalize the fact that akira cares for him and wants to spend time with him. as goro akechi, not the detective prince. goro can't trust the kindness akira extends to him not only bc he's used to conditional love (shido, foster parents, etc.), but also bc he doesn't feel as though he deserves it. goro does not have a very high image of himself, as we see later on, and it's easy to see throughout his confidant that he cannot quite understand why someone would want to spend time with him, and not the perfectly crafted version of him that he presents to everyone else.

"don't look too hard, cause you won't like the scars he left in me": the "he" here refers to shido. shido is the sole reason for all of goro's trauma and hardships. he has scarred goro more than anyone else in his life. and goro's sharing of these traumas is very limited: he opens up seemingly out of nowhere, before immediately retreating under the guise of things like "oh, that isn't like me," or "oh, am i bothering u?" such as the scenes that take place in leblanc and the bathhouse. goro cannot fathom the fact that someone (akira) would wish to get to know him, as he is, so he assumes that a normal interaction between friends is somehow too much transparency, and keeps himself at a distance. he mistakes his feelings for akira as hatred, right? obviously, that's entirely the wrong word to describe them. but if goro himself believes that he hates akira, he would likely believe akira to hate him as well; as evidenced by the fact that the dialogue options which give u the most points are the ones where u mention ur "rivalry"—bc again, goro cannot rationalize his emotions as anything other than negative; anger, hatred, etc. it's far easier for goro to blurt out the words "i hate u" rather than "i love u," or "i care for u," isn't it? and this is how he keeps himself at enough of a distance, although simultaneously feels himself drawing closer. emotional closeness is not something goro is well versed in, and bc goro has built his image on being talented and skilled, he refuses to reveal his shortcomings.

"i've gotten good at making up metaphors": the words here are only slightly different than the ones at the beginning, which i think works for goro's further descent into his deal with shido, and subsequent difficulty. instead of "leaning" on metaphors, he's completely making them up. it's more drastic, which could represent a sort of desperation. almost as if he's losing his touch—which we do see after the events of sae's palace, during the tv interview where he monologues internally about his backstory, and we start to really see how damaged he is. goro is frazzled and distraught, enough for it to visibly show, something he prided himself on being able to avoid.

"i've gotten good at stretching the truth out of shape": again, the same situation as before. similar to the beginning, with slightly harsher wording. the lies that goro is immersing himself in are getting more intense, and almost impossible to separate from. his "murder" of akira is a turning point, in a way; akira is the first and only character we see goro kill in what he believes to be outside of the metaverse. he's not only stretching the truth out of shape, but he himself is bent out of shape as well—this stuck out to me on my ng+ run; his sprites in the scene just after akira is reported to be dead from him to shido are very unsettling and absent, as if he's almost completely zoning out. it's a very jarring scene to watch, and i think at least part of that has to be due to the severity of his actions.

"and all these words are sweet and meaningless": this feels to me, if we're going by the timeline i've been suggesting throughout all this, like it's directed at shido. now that akira is dead and the phantom thieves are no longer a threat to goro's plan for revenge, he can focus his energy back on his original objective. goro lays it on incredibly thick in his scenes with shido, so much so that it sometime surprises me that he didn't realize shido was onto him. again with the more intense wording here, which fits with the events i'm corresponding it with.

"you can't trust a single thing i say": now this wording is exactly the same as the first time, but given the progression of everything i've talked about, i take this as a sort of last word to both shido and akira. goro intends to follow through with his vengeance no matter the cost, and this could read as a final nail in that coffin. the song repeats this lyric four times, as well. if i wanted to keep it up all the way up to the engine room scene, and go completely off the rails in the process, i could say that the first iteration of this line is an affirmation to both shido and akira that his revenge takes precedence, therefore it would be stupid to trust him. the second is an affirmation to himself that he is in fact doing the right thing, and everything will pay off in the end, that this is just the way things are supposed to be, as always. the third is a kind of plea, born from confusion, after he's defeated by the theives and they offer to bring him with them to take down shido, an offer he cannot fathom the reason for extending. a sort of "why would u trust me" in the form of "u shouldn't trust me." and the fourth would refer directly to goro speaking to his cognitive self; as he decieves the deciever, making it seem as though he is running back to shido only to close the bulkhead door and resign himself to his "noble" sacrifice.

i hope at least some of this makes any semblance of sense. put this song on ur goro playlists, goroboys.

[nblenasabrewing]

Does Lena have PTSD?

This excellent post from @drummergirl231-2 goes into a detailed analysis about Della and the examples showing possible PTSD. I, being who I am, wanted to look at the same for Lena. Full credit goes to them for the idea and format!

According to the DSM-5, in order for a person to be diagnosed with PTSD, they must have a certain number of symptoms from eight categories: Criteria A through H.

For a diagnosis of PTSD, someone needs: to meet Criterion A to have at least 1 symptom from Criterion B to have at least 1 symptom from Criterion C to have at least 2 symptoms from Criterion D to have at least 2 Symptoms from Criterion E to meet Criteria F, G, and H

DISCLAIMER: I am not a professional. I do NOT have a degree in anything related to psychology and simply enjoy dissecting the layers of a fictional character. If you feel you fit any of the criteria, please see a professional for a real diagnosis. This isn’t something that can be easily self-diagnosed, and a professional diagnosis would open you to more opportunities for help.

Lena does and doesn’t fit the criteria in general for PTSD. She’s certainly suffered from traumatic events, but the event is more... her entire life. She’s a classic child abuse victim, which makes her more of a candidate for C-PTSD. 

Complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD; also known as complex trauma disorder) is a psychological disorder that can develop in response to prolonged, repeated experience of interpersonal trauma in a context in which the individual has little or no chance of escape. Being stuck with Magica for fifteen years absolutely contributes to Lena’s current issues. C-PTSD and PTSD share similarities, there are a distinct differences - mainly that PTSD focuses on one event and the effect it has on a person long term, while C-PTSD focuses on years of repeated trauma. However, there’s no approved criterion yet for C-PTSD. So I’m using the PTSD criterion with some added explanation where C-PTSD would be applicable. 

Criterion A: The traumatic event

A person must be exposed to one or more events involving threatened or actual death, threatened or actual serious injury, or threatened or actual sexual violation in one of the following ways:

Direct involvement

Witnessing the event happen to someone else

Hearing about it happen to a loved one

Repeatedly hearing details about traumatic events, such as police officers repeatedly hearing stories of abuse

The obvious example here: Lena effectively died. Twice. Following that, she was trapped in a realm where she couldn’t be seen or heard by anyone and she couldn’t touch anything for six months (give or take). Her first interaction with anything since she had been trapped there was smacking the Boggle case in Friendship Hates Magic! And even she’s surprised by that.

In addition, she spent fifteen years with Magica in her shadow, who effectively acted as an abusive parental figure. She’s proven to be an expert in gaslighting, and knows exactly how to manipulate Lena - by hanging the promise of freedom over her head and reminding her repeatedly that people will think she’s a monster if they find out the truth about her.

Criterion B: Intrusive Symptoms

Expected or unexpected reoccurring, involuntary, and intrusive upsetting memories

Repeated nightmares related to the traumatic event

Some form of dissociation, such as flashbacks, where the individual truly feels the traumatic event is happening again

Strong emotional distress when exposed to internal or external triggers associated with the traumatic event

Strong bodily reactions (such as rapid heart rate) when exposed to reminders of the traumatic event.

Nightmares: While we can’t say for absolute sure that Lena has nightmares outside of Magica’s influence via the helmet in NOKH, the fact that no one is surprised by her nightmares does seem to imply that’s she probably had more than she’s letting on. Lena’s biggest fear is turning into Magica, after all - it’s no surprise she would have dreams along that line.

Emotional distress, strong bodily reactions: These really come out in Violet’s library, when Lena gets overwhelmed and tries to hide. The fish-eye view of everyone trying to talk to her while she sees Magica over their shoulders was most likely meant to imply she was having at least the start of a panic attack.

In addition, her reaction to Webby calling her (looking like Magica) a monster was pretty extreme. Again, the dream world setting makes things a bit wobbly, but given everything we know about Lena up to this point, and the fact that she yelled at Magica for saying they’re both monsters, it feels safe to assume she’d be angry and upset and scared if anyone ever called her a monster (again, something Magica constantly used against her.)

Criterion C: Avoidance

An individual with PTSD will frequently avoid reminders of the traumatic event in one of the following ways:

Avoiding thoughts, feelings, or physical sensations that trigger memories of the traumatic event

Avoiding people, places, conversations, activities, objects, or situations that bring up memories of the traumatic event

Whether the nightmares were caused by Magica or not, their effect on Lena is real and pretty easy to see. She sets up an entire sleepover just so the kids can help keep her awake. Avoiding sleep to avoid nightmares is pretty extreme.

She also continues to keep secrets from everyone despite Webby’s constant reassurances that they all care about her and don’t think she’s anything like Magica, because the alternative is having to talk about it or worse, have her fears confirmed.

Criterion D: Negative changes in thoughts and mood

The inability to remember important details of the traumatic event

Persistent and elevated negative thoughts about oneself, others, or the world

Exaggerated self-blame or blame of others for the cause or consequence of the traumatic event

Pervasive negative emotional state (anger, fear, shame, etc.)

Loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities

Feeling isolated or detached from others

Difficulty experiencing positive emotions

Lena’s opinion of herself seems to be pretty low. We only get one episode to really see it, but her fear of turning into Magica and active attempts to avoid such an outcome definitely make it seem like she still considers herself “evil”, and is trying to make up for it. She also readily gives in and says, “I am her”, essentially giving up on herself.

The dream adventures also excellently illustrate how Lena feels “Othered” from everyone else - they get butterfly wings, she gets weird monster wings. She falls behind at Dewey High and is separated from the others. She’s the only one in Louie’s dream, aside from Louie himself, to experience any sort of physical change. Even when she tries to be happy with them, she can’t keep up the facade.

And before all of this there’s the classic example of her being jealous of Violet (under the guise of protecting Webby from being tricked again). She immediately assumes the worst of Violet and follows Webby around telling her not to trust Violet.

Criterion E: Alterations in reactivity that started or worsened after the traumatic event

Irritability or aggressive behavior

Impulsive or self-destructive behavior

Hypervigilance (feeling constantly on-guard, or like danger is lurking around every corner)

Heightened startle response

Problems with concentration

Sleep disturbances, such as difficulty falling or staying asleep, or restless sleep

Lena’s personality in season one was mostly that of the sarcastic, irritating cool teenager who can’t be bothered. Under that, she was an unwilling slave to Magica, and while she did show irritable tendencies toward her, those can be forgiven as “Magica is terrible and provokes her.”

Season two, on the other hand, shows us a much different teenager - one who snaps easily and seems constantly frustrated by her own perceived shortcomings. Those emotions, of course, come out on the other kids (i.e. snapping at Huey and Violet). And while all of that can be attributed to her inability to sleep, which is being driven by Magica, Frank’s already said this isn’t the last we’ll see of Lena’s emotoinal growth and negative feelings.

Criterion F: The above symptoms must last for more than one month.

Obviously time is relative in Ducktales. Given everything that was going on around them, we can assume she’s been home for around a month-ish. Donald left for a month-long cruise two episodes before Lena came back, and everything after that has to have taken place within that month or it would have been way too obvious something was up. And again, Frank has said this is going to come up again. But even while she was still in the Shadow Realm, she was showing signs of trauma.

Criterion G: Distress from symptoms significantly impairs the individual’s ability to function in multiple areas of life (social, occupational, etc.).

While we haven’t seen much of Lena’s daily life, we do know a few things - before returning, she was living in Webby’s shadow, presumably following her around and getting comfortable in her shadow-y life. Violet throws a complete monkey wrench into that comfortable life, and Lena reacts... poorly, to say the least. She initially refuses to take responsibility for the tulpas feeding off her own negative feelings, continuing to project all the reasons she hates herself onto Violet (”She’s a spy, she’s a second-rate me,” etc.).

In NoKH we see that the triplets aren’t quite used to the fun, happy persona Lena tries to project, which immediately gets a frustrated yell and fire flaring up. She’s so worried about trying to be Good that her anxiety bubbles over into her life. She’s also constantly keeping secrets, something that is, unfortunately, normal for her, but not normal overall.

Criterion H: The symptoms are not due to substance abuse, medication side-effects, or another condition.

So the real issue comes in here - while there’s no medication or substance abuse, there is an outside force. Most of what we see of Lena’s symptoms are due to increasing sleep deprivation via Magica’s brainwave helmet. By the time NoKH starts she’s already gone at least several days without sleep, and it’s obvious the dreams are deeply affecting to her, to a point where she arranges an entire sleepover with her friends just to keep from going to sleep. There’s no way to know what she was dreaming about (although I have a few theories), but it almost certainly involved Magica, the main cause of her trauma. And we see how understandably upset she gets when she’s finally face to face with Magica.

In conclusion:

Lena is a complicated character with a lot of different factors playing into who she is, but there’s little doubt that after fifteen years of emotional/psychological abuse, two deaths, and six months trapped in what could almost be summarized as an isolation chamber, that Lena has some serious trauma. And while Magica influenced a lot of NOKH, it should also be noted that Magica, as her abuser, most likely acts as her trigger now. She spends the entire dream sequence running away from Magica, terrified to confront her. And while she has an amazing, empowering moment at the end of the episode, I’m sure this is going to come back up again.

(***All GIFs by me)