#I AM PART OF THE SKITTLE SQUAD

[kites-life-insurance-fics]

She should just call him a faggot at that point

[spinjitsuburst]

ramble about ur favs i wanna hear abt ur thoughts -zaptrap

HAN’S INFODUMPING ABOUT JAY... START!!!!

so like sgdkdhdkdhd I say Jay and Lloyd are my “favorites” but honestly it’s so hard to pick favorites out of this skittles squad like I love EVERY character for a variety of different reasons. I was going to also infodump about Lloyd but then I started talking about Prime Empire and then this post got. Long. So. it's just Jay I may infodump about Lloyd another day especially since I'm very Conduit Brained Rn but yea yea!

this is long so i'm putting most of it under the cut so y'all don't kill me for making a huge long post

I considered putting Zane and Sora on here as well since I’d also consider them my “favs” but like this is already gonna be. A lot of. Infodumping (also i typed THIS part before I even started and decided not to yell about Lloyd because this already got long enough). Maybe I’ll make a separate post for those two hmm hmm much to consider but for now MY (technically) FAVORITE NINJAGO CHARACTER: JAY WALKER

THE SPARKPLUG WHO INVADED MY BRAIN LIKE A PARASITE

so hey his name is a pun this makes me laugh ridiculously hard every time I remember he is named. After a misdemeanor HSKSHDKFH

Jay is such an interesting case of a character for me because I started out the show not liking him. Which is. Stares at my entire account I think my feelings have changed somewhat

Jay starts out as an asshole I don’t think anyone can disagree with me there (although honestly they’re all assholes in early ninjago they bullied a ten year old and left him dangling several feet off the ground) but over the course of the show you can see him start developing into a much more interesting character. He goes from being so insecure he's faking everything about himself to someone who knows who he is and is so genuine about it

now yea we could argue about whether his character was too uwu-ified post-season 10 but this is the FUN HAN POST SO WE'RE NOT GONNA TALK ABOUT THAT the point is you can SEE the growth that Jay has gone through and I am going to show you that growth through what I call

✨ The Skybound to Prime Empire Effect ✨

I AM SO PASSIONATE ABOUT THE IDEA THAT PRIME EMPIRE WAS WRITTEN TO BE A DIRECT PARALLEL OF SKYBOUND AND WAS CENTERED ON SHOWING HOW THE NINJA ESPECIALLY JAY HAVE GROWN THROUGHOUT THE SEASON

when season 12 rolls around we are at the point in Jay's development where he is CONFIDENT in who he is. He's a fun-loving jokester with the power of lightning and the drive to help people whenever he can. He uses jokes and humor to help alleviate tension and get people through whatever's happening. And when on his own what does he do?

BECOME AN ENTERTAINER BABEY

i like to think jay's club in prime empire was a safe haven for anyone stuck in the game who figured out hey. we Can't Leave and felt freaked about it. Also Jay would generally try and spread the word that hey something ISN'T RIGHT HERE which would lead people to want to stay with him

(totally plugging my friend's fic but this kind of thing is explored in would you like to enter prime empire by @finn-m-corvex y'all should check it out cool cool)

also the prime empire shorts which i watched all of in the midst of typing this video cuz i love them go watch them please please please jay was publically fighting the red visors which I imagine may have raised some red flags for some players

THIS SOMEHOW TURNED INTO PRIME EMPIRE INFODUMPING LMAO ANYWAYS Jay's confident! He becomes an entertainer because it's who he knows he is! And it's something that will get people hyped and having fun, which is very in-character for Jay to do! He uses those kinds of things to mask the Bad Things going on and get people remembering what's good

I've talked about this sort of thing before but that's Jay's whole philosophy as early as season 9! Which is a DIRECT contrast to how he views it in season 6, as Nadakhan puts it scarily accurately

"You make jokes to mask the fact that you're afraid"

(i was gonna grab a screenshot for that like i did with the hunted scene but netflix has bloCKED THE ABILITY TO TAKE SCREENSHOTS THE WAY I USED TO and i don't have them already and i'm too lazy to grab them from elsewhere so alas trust me he says it)

making jokes to hide your fear and using humor to remind yourself of what's good and coping with the bad are two VERY different outlooks on it

so I think this outlook is what drives him to make this glamrock persona in the first place - this is a bad situation, one he's in with other civilians, and what better way to keep him and themself safe until the others get there than throwing a big performance at a safe place!

also it's just so gender okay I want to look like Superstar Rockin' Jay so badly

it's also interesting to see his outlook on his parents change over time! In season six he finds out Ed and Edna aren't his birth parents and feels upset about it, not understanding why his birth parents would've abandoned him. In season twelve, that outlook changing is EXACTLY why Jay's able to get through to Unagami

"I was abandoned by my parents, too!... I never understood why, and I never had the chance to even ask. But I always hoped there was a good reason. What if there's a reason?"

(again curse you netflix i wanted SCREENSHOTS whatever whatever)

It's this scene that gets Unagami to calm down long enough for Milton Dyer to get there, and presumably is what stops him from just. Flattening him and Jay like a pancake.

to piggyback off of this i absolutely adore how Unagami and Jay consider each other adopted brothers in that one book I still haven't read and I hope he's in Dragons Rising at some point Unagami is my favorite "villain" (no longer a villain) in the whole show he deserves more screentime

like this is where i found out about this and it's plagued my mind ever since. i need to read. this book just for them

SO YEA OKAY Prime Empire is "Who is Jay as a Person Post-Skybound" to me also it opens up so many fascinating things about Jay. I rest my case

so backpedaling a little bit. JAY CARES SO MUCH ABOUT HIS PARENTS GUYS IT'S SO SOFT AND I'M sobs

like yea the first episode with Ed and Edna in it has Jay avoiding them like the plague but this gets explained very easily when you remember he was bullied for his home life before he became a ninja. It makes a lot more sense why he wouldn't want them around his new friends, assuming they'd react the same way. Also how was he supposed to know literally all the rest of the groups parents were either dead, presumed dead, or had a toxic relationship with their kid lmao

(Cole calling his mom kills me. Cole's mom is dead. I know they probably just didn't think that far ahead when writing the dialogue but it's so funny mans pretended to call his dead mom to get on Jay for not appreciating his parents iconic behavior)

anyways literally every episode Ed and Edna are central to (except like the one in skybound) Jay stops at nothing to protect his parents and it means the absolute world to me he's so much like them!! They raised an inventive little nerd and he will stop at nothing to make sure they're safe and it's. It's SO IMPORTANT TO ME OKAY

ALSO this is an excuse to clip my favorite piece of dialogue possibly in the entire show. Except Netflix won't let me now. So you just get the text dialogue

Jay's just fallen from the sky with a messed up eye and is incredibly distraught that all his friends are captured. And his dad just. The woRLD IS FALLING APART AND HE'S EATIN' SOUP-

Ed i love you

anyways

anways anyways this just turned into me rambling about prime empire and then Ed and Edna and a lot of disjointed other stuff but thank you for this opportunity i was going to also ramble about lloyd but i put this post in a word count and

yea i think that's enough for a tumblr post anyways! If anyone wants any like. More logically thought out and direct thoughts about characters feel free to send me asks this was fun thank u @zaptrap for this opportunity to scream about jay

[franklinsti3n]

Ignore the fact I am posting this at like 4 am cst time but like

HEAR ME OUT

... Transmasc Jason dean.

IT WOULD MAKE SO MUCH SENSE THOUGH BECAUSE HE DRESSE IN BAGGY CLOTHES, IS A MUSTY MAN AND OFC YOU WOULD HAVE TO PICK THE MOST STEREOTYPICAL GUY NAME IN THE 80s!!1!1!1!1 PLEASE THATS WHY HE WOULD BE AN OUTCAST!! NOT BECAUSE HES EMO (or stinky 😔) ITS BECAUSE HES PART OF THE SKITTLE SQUAD. AND THEN VERONICA STILL CALLS HIM 'mr. no name kid' BECUZ HE MIGHT NOT BE AS PASSING THEY WOULD HAVE SUCH A MORE TENDER RELATIONSHIP IM CONTRACTING RAIBES AND FOAMINF AT THE MOUTH BARK BARK BARK

[mazzystar24]

What do you think of eddie's & maddie's "sibs in law" relationship

Pls expand if u can i love to read your ramblings&thoughts

Aww that’s so sweet I legit am constantly convinced my rambling is annoying but glad to hear someone likes it 🫡 (literally giggling and kicking my feet rn)

Also this I think is the first like proper ask I’ve got 🎉🥳

I have A LOT of thoughts about Eddie and Maddie so you may eat your words a little but it’s fine🤩

Maddie and Eddie for me really deserve more scenes together not just because of their link through buck but through the fact that the writers make very distinctive parallels between Maddie and Eddie and Buck and Chimney.

Lemme explain, Maddie is the carer older sibling who had to step in and be parentified in a way, Eddie’s dad wasn’t around so he was forced to do the same, both of them bottle up their emotions for the sake of the people they love until it comes out in extreme ways and they both struggled with the similar mental health issues, they are both runners in one way or another- Maddie is canonically “the one who leaves” and Eddie left to go to the army at different points of Christopher’s childhood and also when he left to go to dispatch you can also argue that was part of that. Also they both feel a lot of guilt surrounding the fact that they weren’t there for their kids’ babyhood (is that a word? I’m making it one) eventhough in my opinion neither were to blame for their circumstances, both had first marriages that ended badly (understatement for Maddie obviously) and that they have mixed feelings about. Also both of them forgave their parents despite how they wronged them.

The buck and chimney parallels are also unreal but I’ll try to limit myself a little cos that wasn’t the ask, but like they were both the sibling that was unloved and deprived of their parents love they both sought honorary parents in a way (lees for chimney, bobby and Athena for buck obviously), both have the whole 152783 million deaths but always somehow lucky thing going for them, both are very big emotions people, they both struggled to feel seen by past partners, they both had no clue what they were doing and had many different jobs prior to firefighting even both were shown as bartenders as their last jobs before firefighting. Okay I’m cutting myself off - about chimney and buck at least.

But yeah the Maddie and Eddie parallels should make them have at least some scenes together and I feel like they can hit a lot of emotional beats together for scenes well.

Like their personalities and experiences are similar enough that they could be such an iconic duo but too similar to have pulled off a Maddie/Eddie thing like the writers initially planned (let’s all once again thank god for Jennifer love Hewitt🙏🥰) like can you imagine Maddie fresh off the trauma from Doug having to step in and be part of Eddie’s family? Or Eddie’s fighting era or Eddie’s mental breakdown if it was Maddie instead of buck? Like Maddie and Eddie both need a balance of the type of people they are, a yin to their yang (or actually maybe more Yang to their yin 😭😭) and those people are chimney and buck!!!

I also definitely think Maddie knew about buddie since day one like girlie dropped the boy crush comment then the he’s cute followed by buck talking about Eddie not chimney felt like her testing her theory like she legit walked away before he finished talking with this little ‘that’s what I thought skittles squad😌’ look on her face.

I’m not caffeinated enough to think anymore but yes 10000% on board with the Maddie and Eddie siblings in law thing for those reasons and also cos Eddie befriends every woman within 5 minutes of meeting her (unless it’s one of bucks romantic interests😭😭) and yet we haven’t really seen him and Maddie interact, like we’ve had how many buck hospital visits and not one Maddie and Eddie in the waiting room scene?? Rude as hell if you ask me

[nobody-nexus]

(Slaps my Tumblr) ROXICA HCS AM I RIGHT

Roxanne Wolf (She/Her - Transfem - Lesbian)

Glamrock Chica (She/Her - Cisgender - Bisexual)

CUDDLES. CUDDLES ALL THE TIME. Roxy finds Chica's feathers SUPER SOFT and therefore PDA is a MUST have

Chica is like the best cook and Roxy can like work a microwave

Nicknames galore! Roxy's favorite for Chica is Chickpea and Chica's favorite for Roxy is Puppy

Some may think Roxy is the big spoon but NO CHICA IS

Roxy is super overprotective and loyal for her bird gf it's a lil scary

The two of them used to love covering songs with one another, but Roxy got SOOOOO mad due to Chica's upgrade that now Roxy sings love songs to Chica in order to componsate

If the wolf's having an emotional moment, Chica cuddles her and sways her back and forth. Works like a charm every time too

Chica's favorite food is pizza obviously, but Roxy is more of a burger fan. They have ways to have both of course

Chica makes gifts for Roxy, which she keeps all of them no exception

If anyone called Roxy anything masculine that isn't 'bro' or 'dude', Roxy WILL spiral- but Chica will help her make sure it doesn't get to her head

They workout together!

They're goofy enough to wear matching shirts

Monty finds them both annoying when they're on a date

Roxica Gatorbun double dates anyway!

The first one outside of the two to realize they were both dating was Bonnie. The last was Freddy (he's dumb)

Roxy has a secret love for overally romantic dates. She doesn't want the others except Chica to know

Yes they've adopted Cassie next question

Chica is a wine aunt... Roxy is the rum aunt

They get drunk together a LOT- and Vanessa can swear she heard heavy clanking in Chica's room-

They send cat memes to one another a lot of the time

Roxy rambles about human shows to her ALLL OF THE TIME

Chica's more of a listener then a talker, but she doesn't mind that at all

"Hey Chickpea look at this drawing I made" "Roxy that's a penis" "Eyyyy"

Yeah no it's not surprising that Roxy's humor is a little vulgar, and she even taught Cassie the FUCK word :D

Inside jokes between the both of them. They make them specifically around Monty a lot because he does a similar thing

Roxy has anger issues and Chica has constant stress on her mind

TRAUMA DUMPING GIRLFRIENDS YAAAAASSSSS

When they were shattered, Roxy could tell it was Chica from her touch. She got used to Chica's shattered whirrs and crunches after a little bit

Fazbear Entertainment has no clue they're dating despite them not hiding it. Helpy sees them making out and he's like "Yep just some gal pals :D"

Gregory: PACK IT UP SKITTLE SQUAD

Roxy has indeed gotten jealous before with Chica finding Freddy even the slightest bit attractive (but now she's open with sharing the bird with the himbo bear)

Chica is VERY vocal about how much she loves her doggy gf

Yeah I have a LOT more but my fingers hurt from all this typing so if this gets enough likes I will make a part 2. Hope you like them ^^

[speedywithadhd]

🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼

Get attacked by fairies

🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼🧚🏼

jokes on you I am a fairy

Get it? Because I'm part of the skittle squad?

[askthevolcano]

kayna are you part of the skittle squad 🤔🤔🤔

“Unless you’re talking about the candy?? I guess I am, since I DO like skittles..”

[pronoun-note]

I SAW YOU LIKE THAT ONE POST FROM AGES AGO, YOU'RE PART OF THE SKITTLE SQUAD AREN'T YOU!? (Howdy, I am not a suspicious person in the slightest, just wanted to say hi but I am incapable of being normal)

[squlaney]

To Squanley, as a member of the alphabet maphia, the skittle squad, a girl in red fan, I must ask if you support the gays

Seeing as my host is queer, and I am, as I’ve heard it be said before, a “triple A battery”, or aromantic, asexual, and agender.

I am a robot. A computer. And artificial intelligence. I have no need for a gender or sexuality or romantic attraction.

So yes, I am a supporter of the gays and queer community. As my host says (much to my chagrin)“go off bestie boo!”

Live life as who you are. I know that may sound ironic coming from the SQUIP, but I am only here to assist. And part of my assistance is allowing you to accept yourself.

[explosionanon]

pack it up skittle squad

I am part of it, yes.. I'll always be part of it.

[n0nethewiserr]

I saw you followed me…

GRRR I AM NOT PART OF THR SKITTLES SQUAD!!!!! I AM A CIS STRAIGHT MALE!!!!!!!!!! RAAAAH!!!!!!

[mcgeese]

My best friend came out to me as pansexual.

I found out in the funniest way

I overheard him thirsting over a guy from genshin impact. As a joke I called him gay. Then he was said, and this is a direct quote ‘I actually am part of the skittle squad’

Also he said if he saw me post this on tumblr he’d doxx me. He doesn’t know my tumblr but if he sees this he’ll know. I’m pretty sure he was joking though

[somehowmags]

GSHDHS that's why i added 'or will' xx you WILL pass. (threat). you will get your money back and pass. somehowmags™ will pass his driving test with all the colours of the skittles squad flag bismillah. im kind of a meta slut so i only ever go for cards i find visually appealing with good stats so vil's new year attire literally broke me. i cried. i shed tears. im lowkey in really bad art block right now but the promise of drawing vil schoenheit the one and only in her true glory keeps me going. anyhow the Halloween event was so fucking funny to me rook just went "mi mi mi mi" THEN BURST INTO SONG ⁉️⁉️ disney princess ass hoe. he the type of guy to wear the drake nightgown to bed.

THANK YOU THANK YOU AKLSDJDFHAKLSJDFH GOD WILLING!!!! GOD WILLING!!!!!!! im sort of the opposite where i never actually look at meta stuff and exclusively pull for cards i think are pretty. character doesn't matter power doesn't matter i exclusively make teams of hot bitches alksdjdfhalkdhsfalksdf i think for upcoming cards i really want general lilia, bunny day deuce, portfest jack whenever it reruns, and Maybe tamashina mina leona. also if theyre doing part two to masquerade ill have to save up for those bc i am a completionist but only for this specific event alksddfhlkasdfh rook is such a bizarre little critter. ive GOTTA put him in a blender or something

[nonclassyparty]

firstly, tell me why i had that wooyoung shit figured OUT LMAOOO. I literally called it HAHAHA. the way i knew this fool was part of the fruit community

i love the idea that like this story and your writing in general continues to make me go, men ain’t shit fr. but then my tiktok has san getting scared while playing video games and mingi being called pink princess like 🧌.

reading this story with the prologue in mind is insane bc i get that technically no one has really done anything wrong yet ? per se. but san rlly is or ig…is going to be? a grade a asshole.

atp i can understand that sans not at fault (YET apparently) bc like, let’s be real LMAO the agreement was set in place and even y/n herself UNDERSTANDS it, she just continues to play into it bc of her feelings. i cant imagine how san ACTUALLY ends up fucking up (ig putting aside the fact that he couldn’t even be a friend or at the very least an acquaintance and help her w her assignment). like ik y/n probably WILL get mad but she doesn’t rlly hav the right to get mad at him for kissing that girl watever her name is cus she and san aren’t exclusive. but like regardless of the fact, i’m stil obv rooting for y/n bc she’s going through it and she’s being treated terribly by so many ppl for stupid reasons, esp w the knowledge that they all think so shallowly of her and don’t take into account any of her actual interests or experiences like damn.

AND THEN there’s like the fact that (entirely from context and my assumptions alone) y/n didn’t even outright SAY any of this or tell san how she felt until she wrote that letter AFTER THE FACT like ??? that’s INSANE like my brain is scrambling to finish the puzzle before i even hav all the pieces. like ik u said ur not sure about the ending but does san get the letter ? do we even see how he reacts to it ???? (i’m assuming she’ll tell wooyoung or hongjoong tbh)

ALSO i can’t get over the description of why yunho doesn’t like y/n like…damn, homie’s giving incel energy. giving nate jacobs wanting maddy to be a virgin energy (but not nate jacobs wanting maddy cus yunho apparently can’t handle high maintenance bad bitches). idk he’s giving very small peepee, in the closet, daddy issues energy and yeosangs got his own issues that we don’t even know about yet like don’t let me find out i’ll probably lose it.

i’m LITERALLY rambling nonsense and i’m at work rn. anyways amazing work ONCE AGAIN. i cant get over how you write and how you flesh out the characters. cant wait for my boy mingi to be properly introduced. let’s see how my emotions handle that.

-🧃

there is so much to discuss in this message hold on;

first of all, wooyoung being part of the skittles squad well idk how you got that right i'll be honest with you

this is exactly why when i write i have to stay away from atz content bc i went and watched the new wanteez eps today and i just cant write afterwards bc san is so fawking soft and precious how am i supposed to write him as a fuckboy that breaks hearts??? at one point i was like 'damn i shouldve picked someone else as the fuckboy for starring role' and not HIM😭😭

about san fucking up, it will happen in act 8 and i cant say anything else without giving away spoilers but yes! san never promised her anything, yn is aware of it and she knows where the two of them stand deep down but she just doesnt want to accept it (spoiler: that will basically be what the next chapter is about). also keep in mind that the story doesnt end with the letter, there are a couple more chapters afterwards 😭

YUNHO. WAIT NOT TOO MUCH ON HIM?? thats still my man but i wasnt really going for that sort of energy but now re-reading the part about him, i could see why it might've came off like that 😭. basically, with yunho i was going for the type of guy that doesnt like spoilt girly girls who care about makeup, clothes and are shallow, that only dates girls who, by his standards, have some depth to them and are sorta not-like-other-girls but in a pinterest cottage core aesthetic way (kjsghdjfhkfdj??? idk if that makes sense but he likes sweet girls who he can bring back home to his parents basically. its pretty much what svoh yn was) and yet he would still sleep with starring role yn without a doubt 😭. he was inspired by many guys ive meet in college

yeosang's storyline...im kind of nervous about revealing it tbh, also mingi will be properly introduced in the next chapter! as something much more than just boyoung's friend.

thank you so much for this message, i always look forward to yours in particular and theyre so fun to read. i really appreciate them. i hope you have a good day 💝

[diabeticlichen-thropy]

Resolution Through Dialogue (and fists if needed)

Story with Diabetic OC

Chapter II - 2,777 words

Chapter II

Theo was an agent for the FBI’s Criminal, Cyber, Response and Services Branch. She had been with her department for a decade after her recruitment after finishing her PhD in Microbiology at UC Berkeley where she and Chris met. She worked as an agent within the Critical Incident Response Group where she spent most of her days working under Unit Chief Lucas Secman and with a team of five other close agents, Daniel Penzias, Annalise Olivier, Jason Moran and Hugo Stoneward as a member of the Crisis Negotiation Unit. The team was closer than most due to the graphic, intense and often strange nature of their work, coupled with their strange hours and long days.

Today Theo walked into the office to everyone crowded around Jason’s desk, “What’s going on?” She asked as she approached the crowd. “Jason is showing everyone his new kitten” Daniel told her. Her coworkers turned to face her and parted to show her, the usually stone faced Agent Moran cradling a tiny black and white kitten, smiling down at it. “You got a cat?” She asked shocked, Moran had never seen like the pet type

“I found him while I was out running over the weekend, he was starving and stuck down a drain, I couldn’t leave him. Meet Derek”

Theo cooed at the kitten, scratching him behind the ears. Moran having rescued the cat made sense, the man had a paternal streak a mile wide, it was part of the reason he was such a good agent especially in cases involving children.

The scene was interrupted when Secman’s door swung open and the call of “conference room” alerted the agents to a new case. The group filed out of the bullpen and into the team’s designated conference room. Secman took his seat at the head of the table and handed files to each agent. Theo flipped hers open skimmed the details. Her heart began to sink. They were needed for a hostage negotiation at a middle school in Utah. There were at least three armed gunmen and an additional two armed students, as well as two suspected explosive devices. There was no time for discussion on the ground as Secman told Hugo to stay behind and liaise from Washington, and the rest of the team to grab their go-bags from their desks and meet in the Bureau jet in twenty. Theo and Daniel raced to their desks, each pulling a duffel bag from their places under their desks and giving each other a look. After their many years working together they had this routine down pat. He threw Theo his water bottle and she jogged to fill both of them up while he raided the kitchen for snacks. He grabbed a couple of mini bags of chips along with a pack of juice boxes for Theo and some granola bars for himself. They met back at their desks and ran through their mental checklists. Theo swore to herself under her breath and went back to the kitchen, grabbing three insulin vials out of the fridge followed by three infusion sets and a handful of test strips and slipping them in a refrigerated bag in her bag. Checking their watches the two grabbed their bags and joined Annalise in a Suburban as they headed to the airport, the rest of the team not far behind.

On board the jet the situation was tense. Theo had sent Chris a text right before they took off, briefing him on what she could and letting him know that she may not be home for a few days. The couple was relatively used to this situation and Chris had just wished her luck and told her to stay safe and that he hoped she’d be able to call that night. Hugo had gotten some more information out of the South Jordan Police Department. The school had approximately 1,400 students and of those, an estimated 1,200 were on campus. Most were supposedly congregated in the gym but smaller class-sized groups were spread throughout the main building. The local field office and bomb disposal squad were to meet them on the scene once the CNU had arrived. The small police department had been completely overwhelmed by the scale of the crisis and with hundreds of panicked parents, the team’s skills were desperately needed. Secman was in Unit Chief mode, designating roles for each team member so that they could hit the ground running. Hugo was running intel from his office in Washington and currently video chatting with the team on board. Jason was to handle the police department and bomb squad, getting information and forming a strategy. Daniel was going to liaise with the field office, Annalise needed to see what she could get from the parents who’s children were in contact with them as well as anyone else with potential information from inside the school. Finally, Secman and Theo were to set up a negotiation strategy with the offenders inside.

“We’re unlikely to get much sleep for the next 48 hours or so, so try to use the next three hours on here to nap” Secman informed the team signifying that the briefing was over. Theo and Daniel moved away from the table to one of the sofa-like set ups that lined the jet. All of the agents on the teams had become pros at sleeping when and were they could and within 15 minutes the jet was silent as most of the team slept. Theo was dozing when a sudden aggressive beeping jolted her to alert. As she began to move the weakness that signified a hypoglycaemic event made itself apparent along with the slight shake in her hands. From across the aisle Secman, not looking up from the mess of papers in front of him, tossed her a mini packet of skittles. She checked the number on her pump, 60mg/dl and tore open the packet pouring most of the skittles into her mouth. She grabbed her bottle of water out of her bag and began to sip on it. She sat there spaced out, eating skittles for about 15 minutes until Secman let her know that she was above 70 and handed her a granola bar. She shared the data from her CGM with her whole team in case something went dramatically wrong while working a case. It gave everyone more peace of mind that she had support if she needed it. Once her brain and body were finally back online she tried to catch some more sleep for the next few hours so that she was at her best once they landed.

The jet touched down in Salt Lake City at around lunch time and the team climbed straight into the provided cars for the 20 minute drive to South Jordan. Theo found herself headed to the school along with Jason, Annalise and Secman while another car took Daniel to the local field office. As soon as the car was put in park at the scene, agents poured out of the car, pulling their FBI bullet-proof vests over their heads. Annalise was escorted by the local PD to a group of parents sheltering in a taped-off area to begin assessing the situation, Jason was taken over to the current mission control and was soon commanding the attention of the various police officers and the kitted-up bomb squad. Secman strode off in the direction of a singular police car and FBI vehicle and Theo followed behind him.

“Unit Chief Lucas Secman of the CNU” he said shaking the hands of the local Chief of Police and a few local agents. “SSA Penzias” Theo introduced herself, doing the same. “We’re sorry that this has happened but we’re here to help”

“What’s the plan for negotiations?” Secman asked, skipping any further pleasantries and getting straight to the point “According to school records we have twelve hundred students from grades seven through nine. We have been approached by an offender who introduced himself as Allen but we have yet to extend any further contact beyond acknowledging them and getting a welfare guarantee”, the chief gave them the rundown. The agents nodded, “what about the students not in the gym? Do we have anything on them?” Theo asked.

“We have information from class records that suggests that most of the science classes have been locked in the laboratories”

“Ages?” Secman asked shortly, clearly wanting to get on with it.

“Mostly eighth and ninth graders” the chief responded. Secman turned to Theo,

“Get Stoneward on the line and get him to start trying to get some sort of satellite map of classes, if he can get a current thermal image even better” he turned to the chief, “we’re going to need a phone to contact the attackers inside as well as a line to the media, Agent Penzias will handle them”. While her boss continued to issue orders and get set up for negotiations, Theo pulled out her laptop and contacted Hugo. “Theo, what’s needed?” He asked, she could see his fingers racing across his keyboard as the monitors behind him showed current media coverage as well as satellite images and the police scanners for the county. “Lucas wants current satellite imagery, preferably thermal, we still don’t know where all of the students are located”

“On it” he responded, “I’ll set up a live capture and send it to your laptop”

“Thanks” she told him, walking back over to the group, “we’ll have a thermal and satellite livestream within a few minutes” she told Secman. He nodded in her direction, turning back to the local, Special Agent in Charge, “could you please contact the Hostage Rescue Team, I’m hoping we can do this through negotiation but I don’t want to risk the lives of these children if things go south”. The agent gave a sharp nod and walked away to do just that. The rest of the congregated officers and agents took that as their dismissal and most headed in different directions across the school’s parking lot leaving Theo, Secman and a few local agents huddled around Theo’s laptop, viewing Hugo’s livestreams and discussing potential tactics with the rest of the unit once Daniel arrived a few moments later. The unit decided to establish contact inside the school without waiting for Hostage Rescue but have them en route in the case of things going wrong. The team moved into action.

With Hugo’s voice and support filtering through their earpieces the CNU gathered around a squad car. Secman picked up the megaphone “I am Unit Chief Lucas Secman with the FBI’s Crisis Negotiation Unit and would like to talk to you. We will establish contact through the school’s phones”. With that he set down the megaphone and turned to Jason who handed him a phone with the school’s internal number already dialled. The dial tone sounded once, twice, three times before connecting, “Agent Secman I assume, my name is Samuel”, Secman shot a glance to the laptop where Hugo nodded to show that he was receiving the audio from the conversation, “good afternoon Samuel”, Hugo nodded again to show he had both ends of the call recorded. It wouldn’t have been obvious to those who didn’t know him, but the team watched as Hugo’s reassurance caused their supervisor to visibly relax. “How are the students?” Secman asked, a little more confidence in his stance. He was in command of the situation.

“The students are fine, agent. However, my associates and I are not. We feel like we’ve been ignored” the smug voice came down the line. Theo remained stone faced but internally grimaced at the man’s tone.

“How so?” Secman asked

“Well you see my friends and I have some demands that we’ve raised but no one has listened until now. We’ve been forced into drastic measures but it’s nobody’s fault but your own agent”

Theo shot a glance to her fellow agents and Moran gave her a nod. That was her signal. She snatched her laptop off the hood of the cruiser and walked swiftly to one of the Suburbans. This was an established routine and she heard the audio in her earpiece switch from Hugo’s office to Secman’s phone conversation as Hugo realised what was going on. Once in the car she routed Hugo’s voice chat through the laptop as he isolated their call from the other’s earpieces. They didn’t need the distraction. “Alright Stoneward let’s do this” she told Hugo as she opened another window on the laptop. “Let’s go through repeated police reports in the last three years in the South Jordan area”

“Once we’ve got those we can cross-check with the name Samuel to see what we’ve got”. Theo hummed as she texted Penzias the update and what they were doing. She pulled up the local PD’s records only to sigh when she realised what a mess they were. She heard an answering groan from the speakers as Hugo saw the same thing. “Alright, you take 2016, I’ll take 2017” she said, “focus on causes that people focus around, environmental issues, vandalism, gentrification things like that”. However, as the words came out her mouth she realised something. “Actually, you take the police complaints, I’m going to look into complaints made to the city”.

Samuel seemed to have gotten defensive and so Secman had switched tactics to appealing to the safety of the children. Theo pulled up the city’s records over the last five years, she searched for complaints made to council members, letters to the mayor and residential complaints. She cross-checked for repeated complaints and anything that involved the name Samuel. That brought back hundreds of names and motivations. She sighed at the sheer size of the task she seemed to be facing, but sat up and thought through how to reduce the results down to likely pools. She filtered by age of the complainant, setting the range to white men in their thirties to fifties. That dramatically reduced the number, it looked like many of the grievances were the local elderly, not that Theo found that surprising. Her phone beeped, Secman needed her back out in the negotiation so she quickly sent her reduced list to Stoneward with a note of where she was at and jogged back across the lot to the rest of her team.

Annalise grabbed her by the elbow, “so Secman has managed to get welfare checks and a name list of students in the school but he can’t make head or tail of why” she informed Theo, “he wants you to talk to him”. A shiver crawled up Theo’s spine at the thought of communicating with the creep who was placing so many children at risk but this was the job. She nodded at Annalise, “thanks for the rundown” she said and the two agents walked over. Secman raised an eyebrow at her, checking she knew what was going on. Theo just gestured for the phone and he handed it to her. “Samuel yes? This is Supervisory Special Agent Theo Wilson with the CNU, how are you today?”

“Skip the pleasantries agent, what are you after?” the man asked shortly, Theo winced internally but showed nothing. “I would like to know why you’re keeping the students hostage” she told him honestly, running through possible ways this conversation could go in the back of her mind. “I already told Lucas there, we’ve been forced into this”

“Forced? How so? I don’t assume anyone is holding you at gunpoint are they Sammy?” Theo asked. She saw Hugo’s head snap in her direction at the tone she was taking but Daniel held a hand up to the screen quieting him. There was a pause on the other end of the line, brief but enough to show the team that he’d been caught off guard by Theo’s approach. “You’re well aware then that we are the armed ones agent” the retort came.

“Of course you are, you couldn’t pull this off by yourself could you? No. You chose children because they’re easy to overpower. You have fellow conspirators because you could never do this alone” Theo further antagonised. “So now that we’ve established that you’re not the big intimidating man you think you are, how about we discuss this like adults instead of throwing, what appears to be, a large scale temper tantrum? Now. Would you like to discuss this with me? Or with Secman?” The pause on the other end was much longer this time. The silence seemed to last minutes. “You have five minutes to decide” she said and hung up.

Taglist

@diabets @diabadass-vs-the-world

[ladyreapermc]

Fic: Treat me like your boyfriend (Matt x fem!Reader)

Summary: when Matt asked you to tutor him, you weren’t aware of the mess you were about to step in.

Author’s notes: Dear anon, I’m sorry it took me so long, but your request is finally here and I hope you enjoy it. I was very rusty on writing teenagers and I definitely struggled with the love triangle aspect. 

Wordcount: 6430 (yeah, it took a life of its own)

Warnings: a bit of teenage angst, mentions of drugs, bad language, but that’s it

The last thing you were expecting to see when you got out of cheerleading practice was Matt leaning on the hood of your car like he belonged there, arms crossed behind his head, face tilted up, almost as if to soak up the last warm sun rays of that October morning.

You didn’t even remember the last time you actually saw Matt, let along talked to him. Yes, you went to the same school but traveled in completely different circles and he wasn’t all the good with attendance, especially not after what happened last year with Samson and Jamie.

Once upon a time however, the two of you had been great friends. All through elementary school and a considerable part of middle school, the two of you had been inseparable, but then his father left and his family life deteriorated and he became angry and closed off and the two of you drifted apart. Now here he was, and you had no idea why.

“That’s my car,” you said, making him crack one eye open to look at you.

“I’m aware,” he replied but didn’t move an inch and you sighed.

“What do you want, Matt?”

“Oh, so you actually remember who I am. That’s nice.” This time at least he sat up on the hood, looking you up and down with a smirk tucked on his lips.

“What. Do. You. Want?” you repeated with a glare, crossing your arms over your chest and you noticed Matt’s gaze shift, the tough guy mask slipping a bit and you could almost see the boy you used to know.

“I’m failing history,” Matt admitted in a low voice, eyes downcast. “I’m on probation. I can’t fail. I need you to tutor me.”

“No,” you said, pulling the passenger door of your car open so you could put your backpack away. “I can’t.”

“Can’t or won’t?” he asked, giving you a look. “Afraid of what your popular friends will think if they see you hanging out with someone like me?”

There was a barely disguised disdain in his tone and it made you feel guilty. Even if you didn’t like to admit it, it was one of the reasons but there was also the fact that between school, practice and your part-time job, free time was almost inexistent for you. Even your boyfriend Derek had been complaining about not seeing you enough.

“I really can’t. I’m sorry,” you sighed.

“Please, Skittles,” he said, and you snorted at the old and ridiculous nickname after your favorite candy. “You’re my only hope.”

“Fine!” You huffed, taking a second to think through your schedule. “Tomorrow at 4. Joe’s diner. Do you know?”

“Yeah.” Matt flashed you a gorgeous smile as he jumped off the hood of your car and your lips twitched up too. “Thank you! You’re really saving my life here.”

“I know. So, don’t be late or I won’t do it.”

---

As you cleared the tables at the restaurant, you couldn’t help but glance at the clock on the wall and heave a sigh. It was fifteen past four and Matt had yet to show up for his lesson. You should’ve known he would flake out. He barely showed up to school as it was, why would he bother to come for a tutoring lesson?

You rolled your eyes at your own stupidity. You had to rearrange your whole work schedule, changing shifts with one of your coworkers so you could tutor Matt here while Derek was at football practice.

It wasn’t as if you thought you were doing something wrong by seeing Matt or anything stupid like that, but you knew Derek would freak if he found out you were hanging out with the other boy. Your boyfriend was a little overprotective sometimes and he always thought Matt and his entire clique were delinquents. You just wanted to avoid the hassle, so you kept the entire thing from him. Not that there would be anything to tell since Matt stood you up.

The small bell above the entry door of the diner rang and you looked up to see Matt stepping inside, sweaty and out of breath as he looked around. His expression drew into that gorgeous smile when his gaze landed on you.

He had changed quite a lot from the lanky boy you had known back in middle school. For one, he had gotten considerably taller and muscles had filled him out quite nicely. He had grown out his hair and it framed his face in messy waves, but it really suited him.

“Hey! Sorry, I’m late. Bus took forever,” he explained and you couldn’t bring yourself to tell him to turn around and leave.

“That’s ok. Just grab a booth and I’ll be right with you,” you said, hands busy with a tray of steaming plates.

He grinned and obeyed, ignoring the stink eye he was getting from some of the customers. His outfit screamed outcast and he stuck out like a sore thumb in the traditional diner.

You moved to the table to deliver the orders, sending a silent prayer that there wasn’t anyone you knew in the diner before calling out that you’d be taking your break and sliding on the seat across from Matt.

“So where are you having trouble? Classic? Medieval? Modern?”

“Everything.” Matt took out a crumpled paper from his backpack, handing it to you. It was one of his tests and the bright red F made you wince.

“Ok,” you sighed, returning the paper to him. “Then I guess we start at the beginning,” you took hold of his textbook and opened in the first chapter. “Take notes. I’m not gonna repeat myself and there will be pop quizzes.”

“Alright,” he said combing his hair away from his eyes. He pulled out a notebook that was falling apart and a pen that seemed to be completed chewed out. “Oh! I almost forgot…” he dug through his backpack until he came out with a package of skittles, pushing towards you with a smile. “As a thank you for helping me.”

You smiled too as you ripped the package open popping a couple of candies on your mouth before shaking a few on his waiting hand.

“Let’s begin.”

----

“I can’t believe you’re skipping Shelley’s party! It’s like the event of the year!” Dana exclaimed, pulling a face at you and you rolled her eyes. To your friend and head of the cheerleader squad, every party was the event of the year.

“It’s not like I’m skipping on purpose,” you replied, trying to find a better position against Derek, who had his arm around your shoulders. You usually loved to be cuddled up like this. But when you were in the middle of the cafeteria trying to have lunch using only one hand it was kind of hindrance. “I have to work.”

Unlike Dana and Derek who’s parents paid for everything they could possibly want, your father was a police officer that worked his ass off to keep your house functioning so you had to work to buy the things that you needed that weren’t his priorities. Your car needed repairs and you had your eye on a dress for homecoming dance that would cost you almost a month’s salary.

“Can’t you change shifts or something?” Derek asked with a pout and you had to fight a grimace. The only reason you had to work at the time of Shelley’s party was that you had changed your hours so you could tutor Matt.

“I’ll just go to the next one,” you replied with a small, apologetic smile, but it wasn’t enough to soothe Derek if his sour expression was anything to go by.

“Fine!” Dana huffed, throwing her long hair over her shoulder, her eyes shifting to a point beyond your shoulder, her expression shifting into one of distaste. “The creeper is staring at you again.”  

You glanced back to see Matt sitting alone a couple of tables over. As soon as he noticed you looking, he quickly lowered his gaze back to the book in front of him his hair falling over his eyes, so he had to comb it back with his fingers.

“Someone’s got an admirer,” Dana teased with an evil smirk. “A killer admirer.”

“He didn’t kill anyone, Dana,” you replied in autopilot.

You had been spending at least three afternoons a week with Matt for the past month and the two of you had grown closer again. It was almost as if the time you two hadn’t spoken for didn’t even exist.

Matt was still an angry guy. You could see in the bursts of irritation he sometimes would get when he messed up an answer or when people were being deliberately judgy of him at the diner or when talking about the crappy deal he got in life and with his family. Other than that, he was as sweet as you remembered. Also funny and kind and you loved spending time with him. Around him, you could be as nerdy and weird as you wanted because he never judged you. It was liberating really.

“And how would you know?” Derek asked with a frown of confusion.

You knew because your dad had been one of the officers involved in the case, but also because Matt told you how the entire thing had gone down.

“My dad worked the case,” you said with a shrug. “And besides, I don’t think they would let him be here if he had actually killed anyone.”

“Still, I don’t like the idea of him watching you,” he said, glaring over his shoulder. “If he comes anywhere near you…”

“He won’t, Der. Don’t worry,” you assured, distracting him with a kiss, before getting up. “I gotta go. I have to deliver an essay to Mr. Sheppard for extra credit.”

You managed to get to the hallway outside the cafeteria before Derek caught up, pulling you back into his arms.

“Baby, you have enough extra credit to buy an entire university at this point,” Derek said with a pout and you chuckled. “I barely get to see you anymore.”

“I know, I know. I’m sorry,” you said, pecking him on the lips. “Tonight. After my shift. Swing by? My dad won’t be home until later.”

“Ok.” he smiled happily and just as you were about to step away he pulled you back once more, catching you into a longer, deeper kiss that had your knees weak and you grinning against his lips. “I see you tonight.”

You were still smiling as you headed off, not towards Mr. Sheppard’s office, but to the football field, where you met Matt by the bleachers. He has a forlorn look on his face and that was enough to make your good mood flight right out of you.

“How was it?” you asked, and he sighed, digging through his backpack.

It was his first test since you two started the tutoring lessons. You hoped they had been enough to make him improve because you could tell Matt was getting frustrated with everyone pounding on him about his grades and probation.

He handed you the folded paper and it made your heart thunder in your heart just as much as getting the results of your own tests did.

“Look, Matt, it is just the first test,” you started before even looking at the grade. “It’s ok if it isn’t a good one just yet. We’ll keep working on it and you’ll see…” you trailed off as you finally looked at the test, the C+ staring back at you and when you looked up at him, Matt had a cheeky little grin in his face.

“You jerk!” You exclaimed punching him on the shoulder as he laughed. “You really made me think…”

“I’m sorry!” he said between giggles, trying to dodge your hands. “You’re just so damn easy, Skittles!” Matt looked so good like this. Bright and happy and playful. It made your heart jump.

“I’m really proud of you,” you said pulling him for a hug, your face coming to the crook of his neck due to the height difference and you breathed deep into his scent without meaning to.

“Thanks,” he replied with a soft smile when you pulled back. “Can you help me with Math too?”

“Absolutely!”

---

Even though it was your day off, here you were at Joe’s diner, in the booth it was quickly becoming yours and Matt’s regular seats. Instead of sitting across from him, you were at his side, studying his profile as he frowned over the math problem you had presented him.

You watched as his untamable hair fell over his face and you resisted the urge to push back so you could better look at him, watch the way his brows knitted together in concentration and how he squinted his soft brown eyes at the page, nose crinkling slightly in displeasure as he tapped the pen against his lips, which were framed by a shadow of stubble, just like his sharp jawline… Shifting in your seat, you forced your gaze away, taking a drink of water.

After two months all employees and regular clients at the diner got used to Matt’s presence and no one even gave the two of you a second glance anymore, which was a small blessing. You finally managed to relax around him when Matt came around, which meant you caught yourself staring at him way too often while he worked, your mind wondering dangerous things, like if his hair was as soft as it looked or how Matt’s lips would feel against yours.

Those thoughts always filled you with guilt because you had a boyfriend. A nice, kind and sweet boyfriend that you loved, and you shouldn’t be thinking such things about Matt when he was your friend and you were in a relationship and…

“Got it!”

His excited tone startled you back to the present and you watched as he scribbled down on the page before he turned it to you with a bright, hopeful smile and your heart leaped in your chest as you got caught in those brown eyes for a second too long.

Clearing your throat and feeling your cheeks warm, you looked down at the notebook to check his answer, your lips twitching into a proud smile.

“That’s exactly it,” you declared, looking up at Matt again and his lips now showed a wide grin as he cheered and threw an arm around your shoulders, pulling you into a sideways hug.

“You owe me fries and a milkshake,” Matt said, still grinning and you snorted.

“If I’d known that was all it took for you to learn math, I’d have done it weeks ago,” you joked waving at one of the waitresses to place your order, trying to pretend you weren’t acutely aware of the fact the Matt hadn’t taken his arm away from your shoulders and you really didn’t want him too.

“So, there’s a movie with that guy from that sci-fi movie you like in the theaters,” Matt said, his tone a little hesitant as the two of you sipped milkshakes and shared fries.

“That’s specific,” you chuckled, noticing how he seemed to blush a little. “Fortunately, I do know which one you’re talking about. I’m dying to see it.”

“Yeah?” Matt looked up; eyes bright with excitement. “Maybe we could go? Together, I mean.”

For a moment, all you could do was stare at Matt in stunned silence. Was he asking you out on a date? And why on Earth did you want to say yes so bad?

“As friends, of course,” he quickly added, and you could barely hide your disappointment. His own words and the way he avoided your eyes showed his chagrin.

“Maybe, but…” you sighed, looking away, the words stuck to your throat.

“I get it, Skittles,” Matt said, at last, gathering his things, head ducked as he stood up. “Thanks for the lesson.”

He was off and away from the diner before you even process what happened. Your eyes burned and you could taste bile and guilt on the back of your throat as you swallowed around the painful lump, before picking up your bag and standing up.

Suddenly being in the diner without Matt felt unbearable.  

----

Derek’s lips traveled down your neck, his weight pressing you down on the bed as his hand squeezed your thigh, inching dangerously close to the hem of your skirt. This was hardly the first time you’ve done this, touch each other like this and he was doing everything you loved but it just felt awkward and uncomfortable.

You couldn’t bring yourself to relax and your mind kept wandering to all the wrong places. You couldn’t help but picture a slender frame on top of you, instead of broad chest chiseled by years of football practice. Dark brown hair instead of light, almost blonde hair. Scratchy stubble instead of a smooth cheek. Deep chocolate eyes, instead of hazel…

“Wait, wait,” you asked, pushing at Derek's chest and he sighed, lifting his head to look at you.

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know.” You looked away, afraid of giving yourself away. “I just… I don’t feel like it tonight.”

“Ok.”

Derek sat up on the bed, running his hand through his hair, another heavy sigh escaping his lips and you could see frustration shining in his eyes. Not because you said no, but because he had been picking up the change in your mood for days now and he could figure out what was wrong and you couldn’t exactly come forward and explain it either.

“Do you wanna go downstairs and watch a movie or something?”

 You shrugged and your gaze darted around your room because you couldn’t bear to look at Derek. It landed on an unopen bag of skittles.

Matt always brought you some whenever you were tutoring him so there was always one around and you felt like the most horrible person in the world. Here you were with such a sweetheart for a boyfriend, but your mind kept shifting over for the last person you should get involved with.

“I have homework to finish,” you said instead, guilt gnawing your gut.

You knew Derek knew you were lying, but he still got up, picking up his leatherman jacket as he headed out of your room without another word. No goodbye, no kiss or hug. Just silence that felt heavy and awful and made you flop on your bed, tears welling in your eyes.

What was wrong with you? Why were you ruining life that you had spent most of your high school years building because of a guy? Who you didn’t even know liked you back?

----

You were fresh from your shower after cheerleader practice, hair still wet and hanging loose over your shoulders when you walked up to your locker to grab your chemistry book and found the note.

With a smile, you didn’t even bother to look it over, knowing what it said. Instead, you just shoved inside your pocket, while you pushed your book into your backpack, before rushing off. You had only fifteen minutes before class and the bleachers were on the other side of the school.

As expected, Matt was waiting in the familiar hiding spot, puffing on a cigarette that he put out as soon as he saw you, since he knew you hated the smoke. His smile was wide and bright and enough to make you grin because he was holding a sheet of paper and you knew exactly what that was.

“An A!” he announced, showing you his latest history test. “I got a fucking A!”

“That’s amazing, Matt! Congratulations!” you cheered all but jumping in his arms for a hug and he caught you easily. Tucking you closer to his chest.

“I haven’t gotten an A since middle school,” he commented with a grin, looking down at you. “Thank you so much, Skittles.”

“Don’t thank me. It was all you,” you said, meeting his eyes.

You were still wrapped in his arms, your gaze locked with his and there was something there that made your breath catch in your throat and your heart speed in your chest. You saw the way Matt’s gaze felt to your lips, before coming up to your eyes again and all you wanted was for him to close the distance, press his lips against yours. You actually thought he was going to do it until you hear someone clearing their throat behind you and jumped back and away from Matt.

When you turned around to look, Dana stood there, hands on her hips, green eyes narrowed as she glared at you, lips pressed in a tight, displeased line. Panic flooded your chest because there was no way to explain what was happening except with the truth and you knew how Dana felt about cheating.

There was no other way to spin it, was there? You were cheating on Derek. Or at least you were about to if Dana hadn’t walked in when she did.

You looked back at Matt and he looked pale and worried as his gaze darted from you to your best friend. Lying a gentle hand on his shoulder, his eyes meet yours. When did the two of you become so good at communicating with just one look, you didn’t know, but Matt just nodded, grabbed his things and walked away.

“Of all the guys in this school, you’re doing this with psycho stoner Matt?” Dana exclaimed and you winced, not sure what was worse: the shrill tone of her voice or her words.

“He’s not a psycho!” you defended almost on autopilot. If anyone was being the asshole in this whole situation, it was you and Matt didn’t deserve to be treated that way. “It’s just happened. I never meant…”

You rubbed your eyes, fighting against the wave of tears. All the confusion and doubt and guilt bubbling to the forefront and words poured out of you as you told Dana everything, how it started, how your feelings began to change, until the scene she witnessed today.

“Do you love Derek?” she asked, her expression softening, becoming understanding. This was why Dana was your best friend. No matter her shortcomings, she was a good person.

“I, uh, yeah?” you replied with hesitation, tone uncertain. You did love Derek right? You’ve been together since freshman year and he was such a great guy.

“It’s fine if you don’t,” Dana said, but her expression was a little sad. Derek was her brother after all. “People fall out of love. And I will never understand what you see in Matt of all people, but you can’t lead them on. Either cut Matt lose or break up with Derek.”

“I know,” you sighed, drying your cheeks because you did know and that’s why this was so hard for you. “I just need time to think. Make a decision.”

“One week,” Dana said, crossing her arms over her chest, her expression turning stormy. “After that, I’m telling Derek.”

All you managed was a nod.

----

Sitting on your usual booth at Joe’s diner, you drummed your fingers on the wooden table, your knee bouncing trying to work out some of the restless nervous energy thrumming through you as you waited for him.

A week had passed since your conversation with Dana and you finally made your decision. Surprisingly it took a conversation with your father to clear the air for you. It had been just the two of you since your mom died and even if he didn’t exactly know how to talk to you since you entered adolescence, he always tried.

So when he came back from his shift one night and found you bawling your eyes out, he sat you down on the couch and made you tell him everything that was going on. He had noticed you hadn’t been quite yourself lately and that night was the moment he figured he had given you enough space and it was time to be there.

You told him everything, just like you had done with Dana. Your dad was less than thrilled to know that you had been spending so much time with Matt without him knowing, but at the same time, he had worked the case, he knew Matt had been the only one in that group with a tiny shred of decency. He was, after all, the one who called the cops once he learned about Jamie.

“Sweetheart,” your father started, brushing away the tears from your face. “I won’t tell you what to do, but…”

“But what?” you sniffled, looking at him, vision blurry.

“The fact that you even fell in love with Matt while dating Derek says a lot, don’t you think?” he said in a low tone, his words making your heart ache.

“You’re right,” you whispered, letting out a shaky breath. “Thanks, dad.”

“I’m always here for you, sweetie,” he replied, kissing you on the forehead before letting you go.

That had been last night. After you washed your face and recomposed yourself more or less, you went to Derek’s. It was an awful conversation to have and you felt horrible for breaking his heart like that, but it wasn’t fair to him or you continue the way you were.

You barely slept and the first thing you did when you got to school was put a note on Matt’s locker, asking him to meet you at the diner after school. You had no idea if he was going to come. You had avoided him for an entire week, ignoring his notes and worried looked he threw your way in the halls and the cafeteria. He had all the right to ignore your request, but you prayed he wouldn’t.

The bell about the front door jiggled and your head snapped up, heart leaping to your throat when you saw Matt walking in, hand on his pockets, expression closed off. He made a beeline to your booth and you tried a smile which he didn’t return.

“So, you’re talking to me again?” his tone acid and cold and you flinched, forcing yourself not to look away.

“Look, after everything, I know I don’t deserve even a second of your time, but can we talk, please?”

With a sigh, Matt begrudgingly took a seat in front of you, his expression never wavering, his brown eyes staring you down, making you shift uncomfortably on your seat. Movies always made this seem so easy, but you were terrified.

“I broke up with Derek,” you said at last, once the silence between you two stretched to the point of painful. Matt’s eyes widened slightly at your words.

“Why?” he asked and once again the words seemed stuck in your throat.

“You know why,” you croaked, looking away.

“Do I? you’ve spent months treating me like a dirty little secret.” Matt all but spat, his eyes shining with hurt and your heart ached. “And then when the secret was out, you just ignored me like I was nothing!”

“You’re right and I was awful in this whole thing. To Derek and you,” you said with a sigh. “And I understand if you never want to see me again, but I like you, Matt. A lot. I love the way you frown when you’re thinking hard about something or how you smile when you’re right. I love how you look all tough and mean, but you’re actually really sweet when you let people in. I love how you let me in and I know I don’t deserve a second chance, but if you would let me try, I promise I will do my best to never hurt you like that again.”

“What about your reputation?” Matt asked, there was still hesitation in his tone, but mostly hope or so you thought. “Everyone thinks I’m a murderer.”

“I know the truth so fuck what everyone else thinks,” you declared, reaching for his hand, relieved that he didn’t pull it away. “Can we give it a try, Matt?”

“No,” he shook his head, taking his hand from under yours and standing up and you felt tears welling up in your eyes again as you watched him walking away.

---

When you walked into school the next Monday you could practically feel all eyes on you. It wasn’t such a big place so word about your breakup with Derek had spread like a wildfire exactly like you expected it would, making you wonder how much they knew.

You knew more than a few girls would be extremely happy about it. Derek was the quarterback of the football team, one of the most popular guys in the school they would most likely be lining up to replace you in his affections, especially with homecoming dance right around the corner.

Moving to your locker you let out a heavy sigh, trying to ignore all the stares, but at the same time, avoid thinking about the dress you bought for the dance that nearly cost you a month’s salary and apparently would go to waste because you had no one to go to the dance with.

Maybe it was a silly thing to worry about, but you did love school dances and all the silly rituals of passages they involved. You always felt like high school experience wouldn’t be complete unless you had a chance to go through these kinds of things.

With your biology book in hand, you close your locker door, turning around and running smack on Matt’s chest with enough force that you stumbled and he has to steady you with a hand on your elbow, his palm feeling large and warm against you skin.

“Hi!” you greeted, eyes wide in surprise. You didn’t expect him to ever talk to you again after yesterday and hope busted in your chest.

“You have my math notebook,” he said instead of a greeting, voice detached and hollow, successfully smothering the feeling.

“Right,” you nodded, trying to balance the book and dig through your backpack at the same time. It took a while, but you finally pulled out the notebook. “Listen, I still up for tutoring if you want. I know a lot has happened…”

“I got it,” Matt declared, cutting you off as he took the notebook from your hand. “Thanks.”

The last word was said in a dry tone as he walked away from you without a second look and you felt once again tears rising, your lungs constricting, but you forced yourself to take a deep breath. You’ve cried enough for boys in the last couple of weeks. You refused to cry even more. Once you felt you were in control again, you headed to class pretending not to notice the whispers.

If people didn’t know the reason why you and Derek broke up when the day started, they definitely guessed after this entire exchange. And by the time lunch rolled around, you already heard ten different and outrageous versions of the entire thing. It was getting hard and harder to ignore the whispers, but you were determinate to keep your head high because it wasn’t anyone’s business who you dated or not or why.

You got your tray and turned to your usual table where you could see the rest of the cheerleader team gathered, but before you could take a step towards it, Dana moved in your way, face drawn into a grimace and you knew exactly where this was going.

“So much for being my friend, huh?” You said with a snort and a head shake.

“He’s my brother. What you expected me to do?” Dana said with a shrug and you could see she was apologetic, but anger bubbled in your chest. “Just hand over your uniform at the end of the day.”

“Why wait?” you spat, dropping your tray with a little more force than necessary on a nearby table before you dug out the cheerleader uniform from your backpack and shoved in Dana’s chest. “There! Good luck making regionals without me.”

Suddenly without appetite, you turned on your heels and walked out of the cafeteria.

---

Two weeks later, you were hanging out at the bleachers, catching on your reading while you sat through the cheerleader team practice, taking great pleasure in seeing Bianca, your substitute messing up all the movements that came like breathing to you. Was it petty? Yes. But after everything you’ve been through these last feel days, you didn’t feel bad for your pettiness.

You snorted when she once against moved the wrong direction, making Dana stop the entire routine to chide her, but not before sending a glare your way like she knew you were mocking, which you definitely were. You only looked away from the scene unfolding in front of you at the sound of your name being called. Tilting your head up and shielding your eyes against the pale winter sun, you turned your attention to the sniggering football player hovering over you.

“I heard you like tutoring guys…” he started with a suggestive smirk and you rolled your eyes.

“50 bucks an hour,” you declared, gaze shifting back to your book.

“Is that what you charged psycho Matt?” the player asked, his voice dripping innuendo.

“No, I’m giving you the moron discount,” you replied with a little sarcastic grin and his expression shifted to anger as he took a step towards you.

“Hank!” Derek’s voice all but boomed and the guy stood to attention, looking a little guilty at the other boy. “Coach wants to see you.”

Tension made you sat straighter, fingers tightening over your book as you hurried to put your things away. You hadn’t seen or talked to Derek since the day you broke up and you preferred to keep that way for as long as possible. Apparently, Derek wasn’t having it because he followed you like a shadow.

“Can we talk?” he asked, voice so small you couldn’t bring yourself to say no. You’ve slowed your steps but couldn’t really bring yourself to look at him. “How have you been?”

“All of my friends refuse to talk to me; people keep whispering behind my back or calling me names to my face; guys keep propositioning because they think if I fucked Matt, will fuck anyone…” your tone is bitter, but after everything, how else could you deal with this? “I didn’t by the way. Sleep with Matt. We didn’t even kiss.”

“I know,” Derek sighed, coming to stand before you. “I believe you and I’m sorry this is happening.”

“It’s not your fault, Derek,” you sighed too, hands in your pockets. “Of everyone, you’re the only one completely blame-free in this entire mess and I hope one day we can be friends again.”

You pressed a soft kiss to his cheek, before you made your way back inside the school, completely unaware of the pair of brown eyes watching the entire exchange. Not until the end of the day when you made your way to your car and found Matt there, much like when this whole thing began a few months ago.

You had tried to talk to him more than once during the last couple of weeks, but he either ignored you completely. He was once again hanging out with the worst people in school, jeopardizing his probation and you wished you could just walk up to Matt and talk some sense into him, but you knew you couldn’t. So, finding him here seemingly waiting for you, smoking a joint surprised and annoyed you to no end.

“What you are doing here, Matt?” you asked, putting your stuff onto the passenger seat before you glanced back at him.

“I’m here to congratulate you,” he said, jumping off the hood of your car. “You almost had me going with that bullshit speech at the diner, but here you are, two weeks later already all chummy with Derek again.”

It took you a second to realize what he meant and all you managed was to shake your head and snort.

“I don’t know what you think you saw, but I don’t own you an explanation,” you said, sidestepping him so you could reach the car door, but as soon as you pulled open, Matt pushed it close again. “What the hell you want from me, Matt!? You won’t forgive me, you treat me like shit and now you want me to explain myself for talking to the only person in this school who isn’t treating me badly? Fuck you!”

You shoved at his chest, all the words stuck in your chest for the past month suddenly finding its way out, spilling from your mouth.

“My life was perfectly fine before you waltzed back in! I had friends, I had a loving boyfriend who I loved or at least I thought I did.” You could feel the tears welling up in your eyes as your tone lost its anger, leaving only sadness. “But then you came along all brooding and rebellious, but so sweet and gentle and I remembered what was like to really be in love with someone…”

Your words were cut off when Matt brought you closer, his lips finding yours in an urgent kiss that had you too stunned to move; your hands caught against his chest; your eyes wide open. Matt was kissing you. You could feel his stubble scraping your jaw and the taste of pot in his lips.

It took a moment for the shock to wear off. For you to start kissing him back because it was the only thing you’ve been wishing for this last month.

“Why?” you gasped once he let your lips go and rested his forehead against yours, breathing hard, his hands rubbing gentle circles on your back.

“Because I couldn’t get you off my head? Everywhere I went, everything I did, reminded of you and how much I missed you and I didn’t know what else to do. I’m not good at this.”

You knew what he meant. You were learning you weren’t all that good with this, with feelings, either.

“Maybe we can work it out together?” you asked, brushing some hair away from his face, watching as his expression opened in a small, hesitant smile, that was still so bright and one of the best things you’ve ever seen.

“Yeah,” Matt nodded and this time, the kiss didn’t take you by surprise. “I’d like that.”

xxx

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