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hawkland · 4 years ago

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Destiel fic recs (round #4) + commentary

Time for another (mostly) Destiel fic rec round-up post before my bookmarks get out of control! This one’s a mix of longer and some shorter fics (or series thereof), no particular theme except I guess a lot of angst, hurting Cas, and all the other things that tickle my Id. Several Season 9 human!Cas divergence fics, plus some later season angst-fests and rewrites.

In the Shadow of your Wings by Enochian Things (Salr323) (52k) The first of two fics by this author which I absolutely fell in love with! Canon-divergence from the end of Season 11. Cas finds himself blasted to Naples, Italy by the banishing sigil in the bunker and he stumbles — almost literally �� into a sexy, delightful Italian Man of Letters, Luca. When he makes his way back to the bunker and finds Dean still alive, he tries to confess his feelings but Dean panics and shuts him down. Cas goes back in Italy soon thereafter and ends up beginning a relationship with Luca, much to Dean’s chagrin. Meanwhile Sam is still missing and it turns out there may be some dangerous individuals who are out for Cas more so than even the Winchesters.

I loved everything about this fic so much - Luca is an amazing OC, the Naples and London locations are wonderfully evoked and took me straight back to places I’d been. The angst, the pacing, the plotting and the eventual Dean/Cas getting together are all amazing and this is definitely on my re-read in the future list.

The rest of my recs below the cut!

My heart is beating from me by Enochian Things (Salr323) (55k) The other fic by this author that I literally inhaled in one day! Season 9 Human!Cas canon divergence. It’s been months since Sam and Dean have heard from Cas, and when they do, it’s in the form of a wedding invitation. Cas is getting married to Daphne - the woman who “rescued” him and named him Emmanuel when he’d lost all his memories post-Leviathans. It seems Cas went back to her while on his own and they’ve rekindled their relationship...whatever it is. Dean just knows something isn’t right about her, so he sets out to investigate and try to figure out WTF Cas is doing before it’s too late.

This story is so, so good! The case Dean gets Cas to come along on is unique and provides a neat investigation subplot, but what’s so especially wonderful is the explanation the author gives of who Daphne really is — and why she’d been so cool about just having a strange man with no memories move in to be her “husband” (and then want to marry him for real a couple years later, after he’d vanished from her life!) In fact it’s so brilliant I’m basically accepting it as my Daphne headcanon from now on and I don’t want to spoil it. The fic is also great in exploring Cas still struggling with understanding human emotions, customs and etiquette, Sam is A Very Good Friend, and Dean is, well, Dean. (I’m just sad this author hasn’t written more SPN fics because what they have is just brilliant.)

The wilderness. by orange_crushed (8k) Wonderful, shorter Season 9 canon divergence fic by an author who consistently makes me happy. Human!Cas leaves the bunker with a few things to get off the ground from Dean and directions to connect with Garth...but he ditches that plan to try to find his way on his own. It’s wonderfully detailed about the basic struggles of survival, finding work, making ends meet and trying to make some new friends...and why it’s important for him to prove he can make it on his own before he’s willing to welcome Dean (back) into his life.

I Through My Window See by deHavilland (26k) This is an interesting one, written well before we had canon human!Cas in Season 9. Canon-divergence in which Cas remains human after they avert the apocalypse in Season 5. Sam and Dean set him up in an apartment in Sioux Falls and then...just kind of abandon him there. He spends most of a year just barely existing before a visit from Sam finally stirs him out of his inertia and depression, to eventually get a job and also start hunting on his own. This is an interesting read, if just to see an author exploring the idea of human!Cas abandoned by Dean a few years before it actually...ended up becoming canon! I love how Cas is written in this (it’s a story much like the next one on my list that I thought does an amazing, realistic job of capturing what depression feels like), but I do have some issues with Dean. It’s never fully resolved or explained why Dean was being such an ass so I honestly wasn’t totally sold on the ending - I wanted some more out of Dean, some more explanation or apology or something. It’s a story that would have been great to have a sequel from Dean’s POV but after all this time, that will just have to exist in my brain, I suppose! Still worth a read because it’s excellently written, Cas becomes totally bad ass again by the end and it’s always fun to read early SPN fic speculating on future developments.

I Shall Not Want by domesticadventures (20k) I found myself inhaling a bunch of wonderful short ficlets by this author the other day, but this is the one I had to stop at to rec. It’s another Season 9 divergence fic, of a sort - Cas is newly human, for the sake of the story there’s no Abbadon to worry about, Sam is healed...and Sam wants to move out and get on with his own life. Cas and Dean are both struggling with adapting to their new lives and it’s a hauntingly rich and stark portrayal of depression, inertia, and the slow healing process of accepting and adapting to change. I also liked that this story gives us a Dean who is a little more aware of his feelings for Cas and they both struggle to reach out to each other - for once it’s not sexuality causing a crisis of identity but all the other shit they are coping with.

Don't Sing Love Songs by ireallydidthistomyself (17k). I’m not normally a big fan of baby/toddler!Jack fics - I like the angst that he was forced to grow up too quickly, and in general I’m not big on kid!fic in fandom. This author’s work is a big exception to that. They’ve written several stories along a similar theme: Cas raising Jack on his own/in secret for years, Dean only finding them or coming back into their lives later on. But this is the version of that idea that really packed the most punch for me and was incredibly emotionally satisfying. Dean finds Cas after 6 years, where he’s kept Jack mostly isolated and safe from the world. But with Dean allowed back into his life, Cas may be inviting grave danger upon Jack as well. This one ripped my heart out but managed to make it all better by the end.

Better Ways to Kill Our Time by always_a_birthday_girl (8k) I don’t know why I torture myself reading Dean-in-the-Ma’lak-box AUs, but I do. I think because it’s pretty much my biggest nightmare/horror and for some reason it’s cathartic while terrifying? Anyway here’s one where Dean goes through with his plan, Cas crashes and burns for most of a year, until Dean finally starts doing what he promised he wouldn’t: praying to him. Cas figures out a way to communicate back and over the distance, they manage to have certain conversations they should have years before. It’s painful but lovely and there is a happy ending, so it’s well worth the read!

Time Flows Like Water and We're Drowning by triedunture (7.9k) A little break from the later-seasons stuff I (mostly?) read, featuring a seriously hot (but angsty) Cas/Endverse!Cas/Dean threesome. When Zacariah’s plan to show Dean the future doesn’t change his mind about taking on his “responsibility”, he sends Endverse!Cas back in time to try to convince Cas instead, showing him what he’s to become. I don’t think Zac expected it to turn into a threesome, but it’s hot and beautiful and sad and wonderful all at once.

hachikireru by vaudelin (23k) At one point I went on a wallow-fest of reading a bunch of sad 14x20-15x03 divorce-arc fics. Just to hurt myself more, I guess. I know this fic’s been recced around a lot (at least on fail_fandomanon) and I can see why! After leaving the bunker, Cas ends up in Sioux Falls to visit Claire. She’s busy tracking down leads to find Kaia’s killer and he decides to go along with her on one such hunt. But what they find is an unexpected supernatural threat targeting those with broken hearts. Well. I think you know where that might be leading. This is a wonderful casefic with lots of character moments between Cas & Claire and then Cas & Dean, working through their pain and angst and just...it’s a very satisfying read.

Moriah Codas: A Trilogy by Toomanyfandoms99 (11k total) A series of 3 shorter fics spinning off the events of 14x20, developing a slightly divergent universe the author’s written where Cas does have his wings back and has helped resurrect a few of the angels (Balthazar, Gabriel, and Samandriel in particular). This series is absolutely heartbreaking — Cas is completely broken by Jack’s loss, has “fallen out of love” with Dean after he was ready to kill Jack, and sees no way back to what he’d had and felt before. He’s determined to just let the Empty take him...but not until he and his assembled squad of “avenging angels” clean up the mess Chuck has created, smiting zombies and taking out super-powered monsters across North America.

Cas’s motorcycle gang/angel squad is so fucking awesome (I want a happy fic where they do this!) and this is BAMF!Cas at his finest. I just have to include a quote:

He set down the empty glass, and Gabriel said, “well, dearly beloved, we have gathered here today to kick some zombie ass. Since they have chosen to amass in Carthage, we are here to take out as many as we can without causing this town to flip the fuck out. Are we in agreement?”

“I expect,” Balthazar grinned, “a full-on bar brawl. Do not disappoint me.”

“Cassie, Driel,” Gabriel addressed the duo, “how are we with weapons?”

“I have enough machetes in a storage facility uptown to film a Jackie Chan movie,” Castiel said.

But it’s also utterly and completely heartbreaking, so don’t read this one if you need a happy ending. If you do read, check out the author’s other later-season coda fics and fic series as they are all really great.

to mend what is not broken by gothyringwald (2.6k) This last short one I’ve mentioned before, but I just have to rec it again! It was my gift for the 2021 Hurt Comfort Gift Exchange and it’s everything I wanted, and more. Sweet and caring Dean, wounded but still prideful Cas, and some lovely wing!kink/wing!care that pushes all of my button just right.

Anyway, that’s it for now as I think this is long enough. If you enjoy my recs, could you let me know? I try to not just list titles but give some commentary...as it helps me re-find stories I enjoyed the most, too!

#destiel recs #my fic recs #deancas fic recs #my destiel recs

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sevensided · 4 years ago

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how did you get into writing fic? i'd love to start but idk even where to begin! I loved adats so I was wondering do you have any advice?

Oh my goodness! I am so flattered you’ve asked me this. Yes, I can absolutely help. I’ll throw a bunch of rambling under the cut.

I started writing fic probably when I was... sixteen years old? A lot of my early works were oneshots. I couldn’t figure out how to do anything plot heavy for the life of me, so I just stuck to AUs or whatever I felt like. I wasn’t in any particular fandom -- I really wrote whatever I had ideas for. I remember I tried once to do a plot-heavy story and I received a review absolutely ripping it to shreds. Like, it was so cruel I cried lol. I ended up deleting the fic. Years later, I get what they were trying to say (basically, more substance, less style), but at the time it cut to the quick. Really, it was only when I was in my twenties that I started writing work that was longer and/or better.

The fandom that helped me actually write plot heavy work was a historical-based fandom. As I’m a historian, it was perfect. I got to use my research skills and knowledge to create works that, above all, aimed to feel authentic. I mainly read historical fiction, so I was familiar with how that genre worked. Miraculously, people loved my work. I think I wrote about ~200k in the period of a year? These were several short stories (20-40k) and a few oneshot filler fics. While I was part of this fandom I also helped organise a Big Bang which was a lot of hard work but was extremely rewarding. Along with that, I interacted mainly with other fic writers, so I spent a lot of time chatting to people about ideas and encouraging other writers, and it just created a lovely medley where no concept was impossible or any line of dialogue too difficult. We supported each other and it was truly like a little commune. I gradually stepped away from the fandom mainly because it was just a part of my life at a very specific time, and almost as soon as that time was over, my love for that story/ship faded, but I firmly believe I figured out a lot of how/what I do now purely through that experience.

Regarding ADATS

With ADATS, it stemmed entirely from wanting to “explain” three months in canon (at the end of season three). I was interested in the idea of season four setting up Will/Mike in canon, and I wanted to test the source material to see if I could draw from what already existed to create something authentic. I began with that simple idea: what happened from July to October in 1985? Then I thought about the major themes I wanted to hit -- family, friendship, coming of age, sexuality -- and I nested them around the bigger concept: how do I get Mike from being ostensibly straight to realising he is gay? That meant thinking of two steps: Mike discovering his attraction to guys; Mike discovering his attraction to Will. Those two concepts were separate “arcs” that needed addressing in different ways. Balance was key to weaving them together and making the reader feel like they knew what was coming (and that they felt smart for putting the pieces together) without just rushing through and going “now kiss!” That’s partly why ADATS needs a sequel, lol: because it’s not finished!

Writing process

The first thing I do when I start to get an idea is I write it down. Sounds obvious. But when you have a killer line of dialogue come to you in the shower and you think “I’ll remember that” -- reader, you will not remember it. You gotta get it down ASAP! I do that the whole way through, as generally I’ll be thinking of scenes I’m stuck on and then it’ll just come to me and I’ll quickly jot it down.

The next thing -- or what I do in the meantime -- is start structuring. I plan. I try to plan a lot. Sometimes it’s okay to write “and something happens here to get them here”, because you’ll figure it out later, but for the most part I’ve discovered that planning is like gold and you can’t get enough of it. I break my work up into generally 3-4 parts/sections, and I treat each section like a mini story. So each part needs a conflict and resolution, and it needs to flow into the next section. You need to have a feeling of things evolving and maturing. Once I’ve planned those little bits, I start thinking about the bigger plot arc and how I can drop in hints along the way. I’m probably not a subtle or skilled enough writer to yet pull off that sort of gasping twist you get in really excellent books, but I’m trying to get there. It’s hard, is what I’m trying to say, but that’s okay, because we’re all learning.

Then I generally do aesthetic stuff. Sounds stupid, probably. But nothing helps me get more into a mood than doing a Pinterest board or -- most of all -- making a Spotify mix. I start thinking about the vibe and the general atmosphere, and then I almost exclusively listen to that mix when I’m working. Sort of like muscle memory? Just to get the creative juices associated with that particular selection of songs.

Another thing I’ll do along with plot structure is character structure. This is a biggie. I mean, a story is nothing without characters. So I’ll just jot down a bunch of bullet points of characters and particular aspects that I want to highlight or remember. I hate continuity errors in fiction. Like, if someone says they work on Maple Street but later in the fic they’re working on Pine Street. I hate that. So I keep note of specific things that my main character might notice at repeated points in the story (colours, places, smells, names, sounds -- so they’re all consistent even as the narrative evolves). That’s another thing -- your characters’ motivations. Not everyone is going to be a huge player, but they all do serve a purpose. The most important character is obviously your main character. I personally think it’s important to let your M.C. be an arse at times. They’re going to be mean, they’re going to misinterpret things or fly off the handle... just let ‘em. Let them be wretched humans, and then bring them back and make them realise what they’ve done. Let them learn! I love consequences in fiction, lol.

At the same time, I’ll probably start writing. We’ve already written down some snippets of neat dialogue or descriptions, but now we should start the actual process. For me, I used to start at the beginning. Usually this was the most fleshed out anyway: I’ll have a clear idea of the beginning and the end, but nothing in the middle. These days, if I have a scene in mind that I can’t forget, I’ll just write it. It will possibly get scrapped or rewritten, but that’s okay, because at least you’ve got it down and now you can devote your brain power to something useful (like figuring out what the middle is supposed to be). I’ll have half a dozen of totally out of context scenes just littered in my Word document that I’ll add to as I go along. Eventually, though, you’re going to start writing properly, and that’s when you write your opening scene.

Opening scenes: super important. Every time I write a scene I think: what is the point of this? What do I want the reader to learn or takeaway? Sometimes you do have filler scenes, but they also serve a different purpose (perhaps to establish a group dynamic or to explore/describe a character’s surroundings). Mainly, though, every scene should push something forward in some way, whether it’s character development or a plot point. So, with an opening scene, I always think you have to establish: where you are; who you are; what they are doing; where they’ve come from (in a philosophical and practical sense); and where they’re going (ditto). That doesn’t have to happen in the first paragraph -- that would be silly. But if you sprinkle that information in over time it’ll gradually build up a picture of your character and that way the reader can get an idea of who they are. You basically need to give a snapshot of what your story is about. This also goes back to the character creator stuff: where they are at the start should be different to where they end up. How that happens is, of course, because of plot, and because you’ve structured everything to the nth degree, we’ve got a very clear progression of that character’s growth (/s easier said than done lol).

General advice

Write down everything: every idea, a bit of dialogue, a description, whatever. Write it down. Doesn’t have to be neat. Just has to be on paper. You can’t remember everything, so if you’re spending time trying to hold those things in your head, it’s taking up space for new ideas to come along.

Structure, plan, structure, plan. Sometimes it’s boring and I hate it. Other times, when I’ve not written in a few days and I open the Word doc and think wtf is this supposed to be, I am very grateful for Past Me for leaving such detailed notes. Seriously, it helps so much. Oneshots don’t really need planning, in my experience. You just get those out there. But multi-chaptered stories really do, even ones that “just” focus on a relationship.

Whatever you want to write, commit to it. Space goblins invade Hawkins? Do it. Eleven and Max find themselves in a cult akin to Midsommar (2019) and must escape? Yes. Just... whatever you want to do, remember that you’re writing it for you. Write what most interests you, what makes you when you reread it go AHHHHH I LOVE THIS!! Because that makes it a thousand times easier to actually get on with the writing when you enjoy what you’re doing.

Write a lot. Every day, if you can, or at least at designated times. Occasionally I have a very specific headspace/vibe I have to be in, but sometimes it just hits me and I’ll say to my partner “I need to write now” and just disappear, lol. The more you write the more you write. It’s so, so, so true. Cannot emphasise this enough. When I wrote that ~200k in twelve months? It was because I literally wrote every. day. Or near enough. Remember that some days you’ll write 200 words, and other days you’ll write 20k (this happened to me with ADATS -- part of the reason I finished it so quickly was because I had sprints of writing 10k+ at a time that only happened because I was in the rhythm of it). Write, write, write. Who cares if it’s crap! No one will see it until you are ready. In the meantime, just write!

Probably last of all (although I could go on and on) is connect with other writers. If you’re struggling to start, sometimes just talking about it can help a huge amount. I hope it goes without saying that you can message me whenever you want, anon or not, and I will talk to you. We can talk about ideas or I can beta stuff, whatever you want! Find like-minded people and talk to them about what you want to do. Another thing this helps is in advertising your work when you do publish. I see a lot of first time fic writers get super down because they publish their magnum opus on AO3 but no one comments. Honestly, it’s because no one knows you’ve published! You don’t have to be tooting your own horn every which way, but just actively talking about your work and even collaborating with other content creators with get you hyped and other people too (and the input and encouragement other fandom members give is just... out of this world. Anon messages helped me finish ADATS when I was really worried I wouldn’t [that’s the truth]. Seriously, support is everything). When you have people excited about your work, you get excited. It’s really as simple as that.

I could go on but this is already horrendously long. I hope even a bit of this helps! If you want to chat or have any more questions, just hit me up any time.

#writing tips #writing help #writing advice #answered #i really hope this helps/answers your question!#i can do something more structured if you want #otherwise here are just my initial thoughts #Anonymous

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sweetheart90210 · 5 years ago

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Thoughts on Jikook

So, I have been lurking for the past 2 months on anything/everything jikook related and when I tell you I have never ship ever in my life ever, especially when it’s two people not even cartoon characters. OMG ok before I get into my thoughts here a Disclaimer: I have never done this before so excuse me if there’s any grammar errors also, this just my thoughts and opinions on everything that i have consumed so whoever reads this your a god and I don’t blame anyone if just you scroll past this lol.

. What’s funny is that this started out of boredom lol, ok so since October, I have fallen into the rabbit hole that this ship is. So I was on youtube just doing usual stuff and I don’t know why till this day, but I search BTS funny videos so as i watched some vids, and I see my recommended list and there’s this shipping video about Jikook on this youtube call black&white couple, and at first I’m like “uhh ok well lets just see what this is” it was jikook lowkey exposing themselves i think that’s the title so after watching i wasn’t convinced 100%, but I had questions that needed to be answer.

So the first thing that stood out to me was the GCF thing in the video cause it said it was a by an openly-gay artist( I didn’t know who Troye was) and in my head i was like that’s impossible like a korean idol using an openly gay artist’s song in what world considering how south korea is with the LGBT community and as a gay person who finds fanservice not so enjoyable because to me, it's like “ooh looks at us we almost kiss hehehe” you know its cringy and it's obvious the idols don’t like but do it anyway, I’m probably on the minority but I digress. My point is majority are not so open about the gays or even touch on the subject or even acknowledge a gay artist, so when I lookup Troye sivan and his boyfriend all up on instagram and how JK openly admires him and did a cover with Namjoon, rainbow flags, rainbow flags everywhere. And to add more fuel to the fire, I come to find out JK planned the whole thing without any managers, or staff an actually took JM on trip just by themselves.

Now what really bothers me is how a lot of the fandom likes to turn a blind eye for Jikook and Jikook only. it’s the only pair that gets the most hate. and I honestly think it's because it’ has the most probability of being real and a lot of people aren’t ready to accept that maybe your oppa likes dick. I have a twitter and I only follow 5 jikook accounts and they have a lot of followers but it’s crazy how nasty and ugly the replies/quotes are when they post a Jikook moment, the one that really took me out was the Ice block gift. OMG i have never seen so many people try to disprove something that’s literally in there face with no subtly what so ever like why are people so triggered, and ready to pop a vein, and foam out the mouth lol. I don’t get it. Also recently with the new GCF that dropped there was a post about Namkook with 20k likes pointing out how the video got warmer when Namjoon smiled and basically celebrating the editing, however the same can’t be said when the black border turned white when JM’s scene came on, because a lot people where like “it’s not about ships”, but yet the Namkook post can get 20k likes and everyone can go goo goo gaga gaga over it.....OK. My point Jikook is a threat to these people and unless they come out which I highly doubt they will, no one is gonna want to see the how JK and JM are subtle yet obvious and are showing us to there best to their ability. Speaking of coming out If they were too I would honestly love it if they did after their enlistment cause I don’t want them to ge treated over there differently just because of their sexual orientation. you know how the military is over there the hyper masculinity and don’t ask don’t tell BS. safety is the most important.

Ok Last thing cause this is getting too long and messy. The video was my catalyst( lol I had to) into diving deep into this, so the second thing that caught my eye was the member’s reaction when Jikook did something or where in there own world. Basically Jikook have the ability to turn people into third wheels. like the awkwardness that oozes from the other members when these two start. I’ll never forget the Japan interview like WTF was that shit and the “arrest me”......*sigh* I can’t. there’s so much more and don’t get me started when I found MMA 2018 and Rose Bowl, especially Rose bowl, like my man really gonna suck his ear like that in front 50-60k people like.... do you have no shame at all lol. Season’s greeting, Bon Voyage( all seasons), the winter package preview. like y’all don’t understand these two are ruining my life(in a fun way). What makes this more interesting is not only the dynamics Jikook had in the beginning but also the consistency, and they have extra loud this year as well. so yea these are my thoughts I wanted to share I’m not an analytical person but this not rocket science, I think JK is the main reason why is so obvious lol bless his heart he truly wears his heart on his sleeve, JM is hard to read but he has his caught of guard moment too. OOHH and the TATTOO!!. THE FUVkcing tattoo

OK listen I don’t know who came up with that OT7 bullcrap about “representing all the members bs, but let me tell you something if you have to explain something that is so obvious, you might as well agree that you see what we see, cause the reach in that idea has to many inconsistencies, So he got the A an upside down V to represent Tae, RM for Rm, Y for Yoongi????, PAUSE THE MUSIC. where his stage name at? where’s Suga also J is for Jimin, Jin, J-hope, and JK....???? you mean to tell me that one J on his ring finger is suppose to represent the rest of the members???

He might as well tattoo “BTS” on a different section of his hand cause the way this theory reaches beyond the great wall of China is sending me lol. Ok I’m ending this now cause I’m turning this into a rant and I don’t want this to be rant so yea based on what I have seen not only from the past and recently Jikook are 99.9% a couple, leaving that 1 percent cause you never know, maybe they really are just close bros, but the probability is high for sure. Thank you for reading if you made it this far, it’s long and messy, but these are my thoughts I’ve had for a while.

#jikook #kookmim #long post

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talix18 · 6 years ago

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November 22

Today I learned what a Japanese tuxedo is (in terms of tattoos) and that David Lee Roth at 65 has more energy in one hour than I’ve had in my entire life put together. I started listening to his appearance on Marc Maron’s WTF? and spent most of that time laughing or with my jaw hanging open. I lost track of Diamond Dave after his stint as an EMT. Now he’s an entrepreneur with a line of skin products formulated for tattooed skin. Gods bless.

Listening to Dave describe his formal music education made me wonder if that’s not what I ought to go back to school for. Music is the thing I love the most but have little actual education in. I took a beginning theory class in college and some sort of classical music appreciation course in grad school; I even played viola for two years in junior high. I guess by the time I got to college I’d ruled music out as a thing one could start studying. One of my high school friends had been playing cello for her entire life and I remember her missing various activities because she was practicing. She’s now making a living with her cello and I guess her example made me assume it was already too late.

Katelyn and I were talking about going back to school the other night. She’s learning young just how hard it is to make new friends once you’re out of school and I think she’d enjoy it, but we’re both looking at our wallets wondering how to pay for it.

School is one of my happy places. I loved learning, I loved feeling my brain work, I hated studying for exams but loved the feeling of understanding the material. I loved explaining to the class what the teacher meant when they couldn’t parse it and I loved making outline after outline of my study notes until I’d whittled the course down to bullet points. I love having conversations with people who are smarter than I am.

I briefly considered pursuing a Certificate of Higher Learning from Oxford because how cool would it be to be able to say I’m an Oxford alum? The majority of classes can be attended virtually, which is where I admit that I don’t just want to be taking classes by myself. I have a wealth of Great Courses available anytime I want to go ahead and start taking them. I want to Go To School. I want to meet smart people. I want to be surrounded by that energy and excitement again.

Now I’m looking up Eddie Van Halen and learning that he’s been in radiation therapy for his cancer for five years and was just in the hospital after a bad reaction to the drugs. Getting older, as my Gram used to say, ain’t for sissies. Love died for me when Eddie and Val got divorced but I’m glad they’re still friends and I’m thrilled he’s been sober for eleven years. I’m not sure I would have survived a rock and roll lifestyle, but then again, I’d rarely be driving.

(Speaking of the brothers Van Halen, how did I never know their mom was Indonesian? Now I understand why Alex’s eyes have looked vaguely Asian to me for all these years. Apparently Valerie has a cooking show and shared Mama VH’s recipe for something that grabbed Mom’s fancy so I can look forward to that!) (Don’t tell her that I’m a little meh on ham for Thanksgiving. She’s finally cooking Brussels sprouts a new way and I am calling that a win.)

(Mom found a recipe YEARS ago that uses Guinness and had faithfully made her “Relapse Brussels sprouts” every year since. They are fine, but they are mushy, and having seen the way, truth, and light of fresh Brussels sprouts roasted with salt and olive oil, I don’t have the heart to tell her that the Relapse BS just aren’t my favorite.)

This is my fourth day in a row of feeling pretty good, and that’s on less sleep than I normally get. I really hope this is because the medication is working. It’s hard to keep putting one foot in front of the other when you feel like you’re doing it in three feet of water. But I’ve been productive at work and at home and actually considered taking on a work training challenge today. I even started my Christmas shopping! (I hate much of what Jeff Bezos stands for, but goddamn if Amazon doesn’t alleviate most of the Christmas crazy.)

The increased meds are not helping the words come out! I have rare free time in front of a keyboard and nothing to say? Maybe that *is* a sign of increased mental health.

December is flat out insane in my family. Thank goodness my aunt moved away with her 12/4 birthday! There were birthday dinners with Mom (12/2), my aunt, me (12/20), and my dad (12/26). My brother’s birthday is also on the 20th and he’s continued the tradition in the latest generation – my niece will be five on 12/1. Her Aunt Lindsay has decided it’s time we start taking her out for birthday dinners. Basically, the fulcrum of the year tips at Thanksgiving and is just a steep slide into New Year’s. (Which I actually have plans for!)

Christmas shopping is so anxiety-laden for me that I have bad dreams about it all year long. (It’s always the same: December 23rd, I’ve purchased nothing, and the only place open in Walgreen’s.) I can’t enjoy the holiday season until I’m relatively sure what everyone’s getting and honestly, I don’t need any more stuff. Just being together and enjoying yummy food is enough for me. The holidays also mean the Hebert Christmas punch tradition from which I’ve been excluded for this will be the 24th time (I can drink anything I want! I choose not to!). My family are all wine and spirit drinkers and most of the time I look around it, but the holidays really make me miss that fuzzy festive feeling.

So how does one achieve that without using? I need to get back on a meditation routine and I need to make upside-down yoga part of my weekly life. Upside-down yoga always made me a little giddy and we rarely invert in the class I take now. I also need to try on my New Year’s Dress and assess how vigilant I have to be between now and then to make it work. I was having some success with an intermediate fasting routine where I’d restrict my calories for two (non-consecutive) days per week. The beauty of that schedule is that I can maintain it through the holidays. I should have just started this week after the colonoscopy.

But I also had a pretty severe mood crash last year and fasting is not for the unstable. Yes, I’m an emotional eater but you know, I’d rather eat my feelings than wish I could opt out of life. I know how to lose weight; necromancy is above my spell level.

Did I ever mention I was a witch and practiced in a coven for a decade? I’ve just gotten to the 20K word mark and it’s likely I’ll start repeating myself any time now. The coven was made of some amazing people but the actual business of witching just felt too much like work. I went in looking for a spiritual experience and what I got was a delightful social experience. That required a lot of time and 40-mile drives and the stagnation of my 12-Step recovery in that decade was not a coincidence.

Yesterday I got to whip out one of my favorite recovery slogans on a friend: “Religion is for people trying to stay out of hell. Spirituality is for people who’ve already been there.” It doesn’t hold up once you consider religions that don’t have conceptions of hell, but it’s catchy.

(The NaNoWriMo website helpfully breaks down how many words one has to produce per day to get to 50K by next Sunday and it is a little overwhelming. I only need 2235 more today to stay on target! [I am not staying on target.])

Somebody give me a topic! (Give me a beat!) Oh! Yesterday I emptied out one of my spare room dressers, which is something that’s been on my project list for, oh, a long time. All I have to do is patch the hole and that room will be ready to paint, which will let me do the floors in that room and the front. With that done I’ll have my closet annex and yoga station all set up and I will finally live in my entire house. And it should inspire me to do the last three rooms.

I’m excited to set up these last two rooms as functional spaces. I can’t tell you what’s taken me so long to surrender to the idea that I need a room-sized closet extension but look…I have to grab joy wherever I can find it. Waiting for the big stuff to fall into place just takes too long and this bizarre timeline provides plenty of reasons to despair. I don’t understand how people can spend eight hours a day in cubes that aren’t decorated and I am not going to limit myself to one of my life’s compulsions if I have room to store it all. (Vanessa is in Tennessee shouting “You’ll never have room for another person in your house that way!” and I’m shouting back “You and your person bought a new house!”)

I do love my house, though, and getting me out of it is going to take some extraordinary conditions. With any luck I’ll meet a life partner who also loves their house and we can commute and share. I still won’t have enough wall space to hang everything I want to; perhaps a rotating gallery space is required. Says the girl who can’t manage to swap the screens out for storm windows and vice versa every year.

#f**k fifty #nanowrimo

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shadowsong26fic · 6 years ago

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Coming Attractions!

First Monday of the month, woohoo!

(And also kind of a NaNo roundup post because that was last month, after all…)

NaNo:

Sooooo I didn’t finish, lol. Not that I was…super expecting to, exactly, but I was hopeful! I think I just missed too many days in a row and lost all my momentum.

In terms of my goals, I was hoping to write:

1. 20-25k on Precipice 2. 20-25k on our faces like a mirror 3. 10-20k on Other Projects. 4. 50-70k total

In terms of what I actually accomplished:

1. 9,241 on Precipice (Sooooooo....about half of what I’d hoped, a little less. But I still got a fair amount done/prepped for upcoming chapters, plus a couple chapters actually posted, even while doing other stuff, so...go me!) 2. 9,043 on our faces like a mirror (Again, a bit less than half of what I’d hoped for, but I got enough done for the story/etc. to take a real Shape in my head. ...ish. See the specific OFLAM stuff later on in the post...) 3. 10,601 on Other Projects (Hey, I actually met this goal! ...barely, but still! Mostly thanks to the Nikita/Rebels crossover, lol...) 4. 28,885 total

Original Fiction:

I got a decent chunk of a big backstory piece for Lux done (in the form of a “then” and “now” set of scenes/vignettes for the five Archangels)--that being said, I’m not sure I actually like what I have there, lol. I know more or less what I need to cover, but the details are fiddly. Also not sure whether I should refer to Lux by her current name, for consistency’s sake, or use a different name (either Lightbringer or just Lucifer) since she does technically reshape her name after being released when the main Apocalypse storyline kicks off…also debating whether Lux should be/present as female way back when--angels don’t really do gender the way humans do in this ‘verse, but the closest human term for Lux would be genderfluid, sooooo IDK. Also also, for the ‘Now’ part…ehhh, I’m not sure I should have this be the first thing I post involving Trixie…but I’ll keep poking at it and see what comes out.

(I’d also planned to work on the big Kesshare character study saturation for The Farglass Cycle this month, and maybe go back to my untitled first-contact story, but neither of those happened, lol.)

Precipice:

We’re in the home stretch! Kinda. So to speak. Probably three to four more chapters in Arc Seven, which I’m hoping-fingers-crossed I’ll finish by the end of the calendar year??? (But given how much other stuff I hope to work on (see Other Fanfic Projects for more details…)

At that point--and I know I’ve said this before, and I’ll probably put it in an A/N in the next chapter or so, but following the end of Milestones, I’m planning to break off into a second/sequel fic, working title Protectors. This is at least in part because length (over 200k wtf I was anticipating 50-75k, maybe 100k, for these seven arcs @.@), but also was sort of planned even without the Length issue, due to some thematic/structure shifts following a six-year timeskip. Which, if you do the math, you can probably figure out where that’ll land us and why I might be structuring it this way…

Anyway, I’ve increasingly realized that there’s some stuff I should probably set up that I’ll need for later arcs in Part 2 involving some Rebels characters, more with the Last Batch, plus a Sith Apprentice who needs to turn up and die (although the gap between Infernalis and the next apprentice I actually care about/have a name and some kind of Plot for is only about four years in my mental timeline, so maybe there isn’t an active Apprentice in that period*…hmmmmm…), some background about the Hands, etc. But I feel like it’s all a little too disjointed for an entire additional arc. So, Arc 7.5, tentatively titled Preludes, is also going to be a thing XD I don’t think I’ll have a fixed schedule for that vs. the main storyline--and, honestly, it’ll probably work more like a collection of one-shots taking place during the timeskip than a proper Arc, but a little more Relevant than stuff that goes in Bonus Content, if that makes sense? It’ll probably be posted alongside at least arcs 8 and 9. Which, incidentally, take place more or less back-to-back and cover a fairly short period of time, but there is A Lot of plot/setup that goes into them. Like. If I tried to do it all as one arc, it’d be at least twice as long as any of the other arcs I’ve done, possibly including Arc Four--certainly over twenty chapters, I think--plus there’s a good (and by good I mean Horrible) place where I can split the arcs, so…we’ll see how that goes.

(…still not sure what to do with Maul, lol. He may just be Sir Darth Not-Appearing-In-This-Fic, or he might turn up in arc 10/11/13, which are the sort of vaguest of the next seven arcs which make up Protectors, in terms of how much I have planned out…)

(*On a semi-related note, I’ve been asked about Inquisitors a couple times in comments lately, and…well, I’ll probably mention this when I reply to the commenter in question, but I figured I’d set it out here as well, in case anyone else was wondering the same thing but doesn’t read other peoples’ comments. Like I’m pretty sure I mentioned at the start, when I plotted out** the bulk of this fic, I hadn’t seen Rebels yet. I’ve since decided to integrate a few characters/plot points (Kallus and Zeb will feature prominently in a subplot in arcs 13 and 14, for example), but, as a rule, characters and plot points from Rebels haven’t been taken into account unless I Really Like Them and/or they’re a good way to fill in a plot hole in a later arc, as with Kallus and Zeb. So, for example, when I include Thrawn, I’m writing more towards Legends!Thrawn in terms of personality, though the two have blended a bit in my head and I do reference specific events in Disney!Thrawn’s personal timeline; and b) more relevantly, I hadn’t made any plans to include Inquisitors, and that…hasn’t really changed. So, I might have them in Preludes, but they almost certainly won’t show up on-page/be super-relevant in the main arcs of the fic, sorry :/ )

(**Loooool I say “Plotted Out” like I’m the kind of author with a Master Plan or at least an outline. But I did have a general idea of the Major Plot Points going in, such as when Rex and Ahsoka would turn up, Luke’s storyline with Lavinia, how many Apprentices I would need to make them work, etc., and I’ve had parts of Arcs 8, 9, and 14 written for like at least two years now, so I know more or less where I’m going--though they’ll be edited once I have more of the connective tissue in place, in case I’ve accidentally Jossed myself…or I change my mind, which is becoming A Possibility with a major event set to happen in Arc 14, so…we’ll see.)

Aaaaaanyway. Exciting times ahead, I hope!

Other Fanfic:

This month, I finally posted another AU outline, woohoo! …I mean, it was a super-niche Nikita/Rebels crossover with a handful of OCs thrown in but who’s counting XD (I do actually intend to finish Let’s Go Steal a Crossover and update the Ventress one at some point but…yeah).

I also put out a Kallus one-shot that I think turned out really well. May do more of those at some point, who knows…

I made some significant progress on our faces like a mirror, as mentioned above! But now I’m waffling a little bit over structure. Basically, the fic covers Bo-Katan’s backstory from the time Satine becomes Duchess, through the Civil War, and eventually leads to Bo’s eventual break with her sister to join Death Watch. It comes in two pretty distinct halves--what I call the Fugitive arc in my notes, which covers the Civil War, and the Breakdown arc, which is everything after her return to Sundari.

So, my original plan was--prologue covering at least part of the final Epic Screaming Match that leads to Bo’s departure; jump back to the Fugitive Arc; and then follow through until we catch up to the prologue, with a coda/epilogue with her and Pre Viszla. The problem is, there’s…really not a lot to connect the two halves??

I’ve got a couple options on what to do about this, but I’m not sure which would be best.

Option One: Keep the structure as-is and just let it be episodic.

Option Two: Keep the structure as-is and find some way to connect the two halves (i.e., a recurring antagonist; I do have an idea of who this could be, but the problem is, it takes away a good chunk of the focus from Bo and Satine’s relationship for the Breakdown Arc…which I don’t really want to do.)

Option Three: Remove the framing device and focus on the Breakdown Arc, and include the Fugitive Arc as flashbacks, since the Breakdown Arc can’t really stand on its own. (The main issue I have with this one is that, if I want to actually write out future chunks of Bo’s life later--meaning, her time with Death Watch, and getting her from TCW to Rebels--I won’t have these flashbacks and I don’t want to change the structure too radically for any eventual sequels? Also, I’m not sure how I feel about a flashback structure for this fic in general…)

Option Four: Remove the framing device and focus on the Fugitive Arc, ending the story with Bo’s return to Sundari. (Two issues with this one--I really do want to go into the Breakdown Arc; that’s where my interest in this story started. Also, due to the constraints of setting and so on, Bo interacts with…like…two canon characters over the course of the Fugitive Arc? And while I don’t really have a problem writing a story that’s essentially a Backstory Epic for a tertiary character, populated by about 90% OCs, I’m not sure anyone actually wants to read that, except as the lead-in to the Breakdown Arc??? But maybe I’m overthinking…)

…so, yeah. Any thoughts/opinions on which option would be Best? (I may make a separate post asking the same question later, but figured I’d lay it all out here, too!)

Also, I’m working on a Secret Santa project, and probably not going to use OFLAM for SWBB, which means I need to come up with and write a different plotline of some kind, so back to the drawing board on that one…

Also also, I do genuinely plan to get Distaff off hiatus At Some Point, especially since I’ve gotten some new comments/responses lately…but given how much else I have on my plate, writing-wise, that probably won’t happen until next year, alas.

Anyway, the long and short of it is--lots of writing planned for this month! Now let’s see how much I actually get done XD

What about the rest of you? What’ve y’all been up to/what do you have planned for next month?

#coming attractions #miscellania #shadowsong writes star wars #shadowsong writes original fic #shadowsong writes crossovers #shadowsong writes self-indulgent bs #feedback greatly appreciated #our faces like a mirror #precipice verse #nano2019

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ihavenoside · 6 years ago

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🗣 :3c [talk to your muse, in case the symbol isn't appearing]

send “🗣” for a conversation between the muse and the mun! || Accepting || Because I’m still thinking of them.

((This is related to a future, in the works rps but also show how Connor has no control over his money and doesn’t care lol. He’s lived on nothing, he’ll buy just about anything. if he can afford to buy it right then and there.))

Connor: So… The plan is for Caleb and I to buy a house?

Me: yep. There is a cute little area in Detroit the had canals the lead to the river-

Connor: I’m buying a boat then.

Me: … what? n-

Connor: how are we going to live in a house, connected to the river and not have a boat!

Me: but.. boats are money pits!

Connor: but I have money! I work 2 full-time jobs! I want a boat!

Me: … okay FINE. anyway. As a fun side project, Caleb mun and I were thinking the house should be a fixer-upper? those are cheaper and it will give you guys something to do and something to be proud of when finished. plus you can have friends help and it will make for some fun content maybe?

Connor: I like that idea, so the house won’t be livable right away?

Me: no… it would be a big place though. lots of room to grow if you want to have a family one day or Caleb wants a family, or you both want a family, it would really be doable.

Connor: likely hood of that happening is low but if the house isn’t liveable, then I’m buying an RV to live in so the Cooper and Daisy will be safe and nearby as we work on the house.

Me: Connor, can you go like 5 minutes without wanting to buy a vehicle??? you already have a sports car and a suv. (upcomming thread)

Connor: we can’t have animals exposed to construction. whats wrong with you.

me: ….. and how are you going to afford a house, a boat and an RV?!

Connor: again, I work 2 full times jobs and my only real expense is gas money. I have nearly 150k-200k in the bank (dpd + paralegal so depending on how many cases connor and gen does at the firm the price varies) I can buy 1 of several 5 bedroom houses on forclosure for 10k. a used bout can cost between 5k and 20k depending on the boat, so lets say 20k and a 10 year old rv can cost about the same. Which sets me at 50k, add another 50k in repairs to the house plus whatever Calebs willing to chip in because despite me protesting, he will anyway. i’ll still have anywhere from 50k to 100k left over.

Me… wtf connor wait, you can buy a 5 bedroom house for 10k in Detroit!?

Connor: yes. not in good condition but that’s the point.

Me: how the fuck… When you really want something, you’ll find a way to get it, won’t you?

Connor: do you expect any less from me?

Me: Nope.

#birthedbyshadows #Filed Under: Ask #Mun vs Muse

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deepdrearn · 7 years ago

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My First Ultra: race recap / long distance musings

I woke up from the sound of the rain on the roof. Hard rain. Ugh. Can I still cancel this?

But as soon as twilight set, I got up and dragged myself to the washing facility of the campsite. I was completely aware of the Dutch weather when I signed up for a race on November 10th. I'd signed up anyway. I'd trained for months. I got J to drive and camp with me here last night. I was pretty invested.

An apple syrup sandwich and a half later, we took off to the start, to arrive an hour early. Which gave us plenty of time to get my bib, a coffee, and three nervous trips to the van to get some thing I forgot. The other runners came in one by one. Mostly middle aged men and some hipster insta ultra runner anton krupicka styled boys taking selfies. I guess there were about ten percent women, which is I guess a ratio that I'm used to from studying computer science :'). On our way to the start we run into E, a former CS classmate, that had dropped out to become a filmmaker/ultra runner. This would be his first 50k too.

The start is indicated by a modest banner at the edge of the forest. There we go. Me and E do a little catching up and follow the stream of runners. The course is beautiful. So beautiful. Also, it is not easy. Soon we are running in loose sand. There's quite some climbing. Some hard climbs are awkwardly squeezed into the course just for the heck of it. I'm starting to realize that by doing a trail for my first ultra I had added some serious difficulty. But I manage to find a relatively comfortable pace behind two older runners ("We're taking it easy, there's plenty of miles to go!"). I stay there untill the first aid station, where I get out quick with a banana and E.

We read a sign: "The Hell of Heibergen. Have Fun!!". I will soon discover what this is about: there is a hill, and the course has been draped over that hill about ten times. Did I underestimate the vertical gain in the course? Or did they just put all of it in this tiny section? It is easy to miss a mark here and get lost, which obviously we do. A lot. I'm pretty sure I ran at least half of this 'Hell' twice. Because of the detours we are behind the senior runners again. They are way better at navigation than this spoiled google maps generation. The group around us occasionally still takes a wrong turn but luckily there's always someone that sees the course mark in time. I am very glad to be around others to find our way together. Everyone around me is exceptionally friendly. When I trip over some roots, everyone stops to check I'm okay and only continues when I'm on my feet again. There's chatting with other runners and little competition or speedups. We all have a long way to go.

Around 20k, E tells me he wants to slow down soon. I want that too, but not just jet. The course is heavy. More loose sand. I'm tired and I hurt. Soon I don't see E anymore. I have 30k to go and already gave up the idea of a 6 hour finish. The seniors are obviously pros at this and slowly but surely they are running away from me.

A little further I change to the 5:1 run/walk plan I've tried in training. It makes the distance easier to control. All I now have to do is count down the five minutes till I can walk. What I suspected is true: this one minute walk allows me so much recovery that my average speed is barely under the pace that I would be capable of when running continuusly in this state. I keep up with the runners around me (that are not taking any walking breaks).

5:1 is my world. 5:1. Ten times in an hour. I check my watch, not really for distance, but for minutes.

I've ran 30. If this is where the marathon starts, then maybe this is just where long distance really starts and it is also the start of my ultra. Because around this point I am starting to feel a certainty. I know for a fact that my reach of the finish is inevitable. I am getting there. At 20k I was wondering what the hell I had gotten myself into. Now it is crystal clear that I will get through the next 20k. I just can. Not like it's a breeze. My feet hurt. My hair feels like a weird wig tugging my head. It is raining and each time I slow down for a walk, it feels like I'm going to pee my pants. But I can do it. This is one of the most beautiful and hardest things I have ever done.

Runrunrunrunrunwalkrunrunrunrunrun.

Around me are a Belgian guy and a girl in a Rotterdam marathon shirt. Sometimes they walk a minute with me. And if they don't, I catch up with them each time again. It is annoying to notice that I am absolutely not wanting to eat. The thought of food is off-putting and my stomach gets upset from the electrolyte solution. It is incredibly rare for me to have no appetite and even rarer that I have to force feed candy. Definitely moments to remember. The last aid station is about 8k before the finish. I pee, dilute the electrolyte solution with water and manage to shove in a piece of banana. I walk away with some more banana.

I walk and eat my banana. Fuck this shit. I have already ran a marathon. I get to walk as much as I want from here on. Or so I tell myself. I get a little hypothermic and some fingers loose bloodflow. It is still raining. Running is my only way of staying warm. So there we go.

If I talk to people about long distance running, I sometimes say that with each mile you run, there's a layer peeled off of you. Till there's only the core, stripped of all things unnescesarry. And the world shrinks accordingly. There is no world. Not outside of me and the square meter I'm running on. There is no niceties, no constructs. I am here and I am the world. In all simplicity.

Then two runners pass: "Just 4k to go!". 4k? I was supposed to do at least 7, right? The runners swear their data is on point. Has my GPS been thrown off by the forest, as it has before? Did I unknowingly cut the course? Is their story real? Only 4k to go? This is the weirdest idea, and the biggest mindfuck at this point. But I shrug it off, as an underestimation seems worse than an overestimation. I'm running close to a highway. I've seen this on the map. But where was it? 4k to go? 2k to go? Then there's a sign: "1k to go". WTF? Only one? And I was counting on 4! I take the last few hills. Running down has become a Very Hard Thing, as has climbing. I manage to almost take the wrong turn right before the finish but get corrected by the Belgian guy. I see the finish banner. I see J. There is applause and cheering. There is a medal on my neck. A goodie bag. I hug J and tear up. The photographer catches this moment too late and we do it again. Laughter. I check my watch and see that I have run 5:59:33.

#race recap #my first ultra #ulra running #long distance running #runblr #running #runner #race report #ultra marathon

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unsettledink · 3 years ago

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From the Ask Game Post celebrating finishing Act 1 of Gotcha:

P: Are you what George R. R. Martin would call an "architect" or a "gardener"? (How much do you plan in advance, versus letting the story unfold as you go?)

Grrrrr I have a very low opinion of him lol. But as to the actual question – with the exclusion of Gotcha, definitely a gardener. I generally get a snapshot or a scene or two, and then start working out from there. Sometimes it's just letting it sit for a while and see what starts connecting, and sometimes I'm actively going okay but what happened between? How did they get there? After I've got enough parts I have to start getting a little more specific about the daydreaming. Or, well, I don't, nothing is topping me from posting 2k of one random scene!

(And now I ramble about outlining Gotcha lord what a project:)

Gotcha is a very different experience. It started out because I wanted a lot of not that kinky sex between Quentin and Peter, way back in... ooof, Sept 2019. So I literally made a list of the things I wanted them to do, lol, and then kept thinking of more. There were so many that I wanted to be part of the same fic that I realized I'd have to have some sort of connective bits between, sigh.

And then, uh, the connective bits started getting more important and there were emotions and plot and wtf? By that time I had realized I couldn't put this all in one massive doc, but I didn't have a timeline or a real idea of what went where, just that some certain things happened and how I wanted it to end. Scenes kept popping up and it was getting more and more overwhelming. It didn't help that I was working overnights at a hotel during that time, so I literally had eight hours all alone with nothing to do but daydream and write (well it was a good thing too but).

I realized that as much as I've never been a fan of outlines, I needed something for this monster. I'd finished Better Than not that long ago and not having a structure for it was difficult.

I ended up really liking the format of the percentage outlining I found here, because I could figure out those basic points easily enough, and then start figuring out where the problems went, and then roughly how much space should be filled between them. I probably spent four or five nights messing with it, getting one for the fic as a whole and then one for each of the six acts (also basically why I did six acts vs any other number lol). And while a few things have moved around, those have stayed pretty solid throughout.

Great! But then I reached another point, where it was like... the space between 20% and 35% of one act ends up being like 20k, I need a little more structure withing THAT jfc help.

I spent a really, really long agonizing amount of time trying to map it out precisely on a calendar. Which was really frustrating when I had something pinned to a certain date – say, Halloween – but I wanted scene 1 to happen at least two weeks before that and that meant scenes 2-5 need to happen before that but scene 6 is tied to a date only a month earlier, how can I fit that many scenes in there???? But forcing myself to really work within that framework helped me make stronger connections between scenes and reasons for things to go where they do.

I've gotten away from being exact down to the day of a specific year and let most things fall 'sometime within this week', but it's still really useful. Right now I've actually got a sticky note map up on my wall that I was using to restructure Act 2 before I got really going on edits. I did that for 1-3 at one point and being able to visually see color coded clusters like that was incredibly helpful.

I kind of hope I don't ever have to get that exact or detailed for another fic because holy crap it's been a lot, but I also don't think I could have gotten far on Gotcha without it.

#ask games #act1 and done

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yeonjuins · 3 years ago

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AAAHHH YOUR HEADER IS SO CUTEEEEE <33

yaaay !! :) i had some new tea today but i wasn't the biggest fan tbh !! it was jasmine green tea. i'm not really a big fan of green tea HOWEVER i do like apple & pear green tea, that's very nice <3 very refreshing :) i'm so happy it helped !! that's amazing <3

nah i will never drink it, don't like it at all :) that and cappuccinos, they're also gross !!

same... honestly. i don't have anything bad to say about my work, they're really, really good <3 if something happens like on a day where you're supposed to work a full shift, they give you the time off that you need (whether it's medical or something else happens.) i got therapy through my job as well, this was back in 2019 when we were in the office, they had a nurse who worked onsite and she referred me to a therapist who specialised in CBT. it helped a ton <3

"stop being sad" ah yes, thank u very much for that, my mental health is so much better now ty :/. i hate that so much !!!! >:( my anxiety will never go away, and i live with it. i used to always get "stop being so anxious" ALL. THE. TIME. 😠😠😠 still infuriates me !!!

i promise i will be safe 💎 yeah, no, daily walks are definitely going to be a thing even more so as the warmer weather comes in. i have 9 days off in march as annual leave so i'm going to do some walks with my mum <3 we went on walks last year when it was warm and we were doing up to 20k steps. <3 excited for the upcoming 9 days off because i have some nice plans :) i regularly donate blood so it will be my 4th time donating blood on monday 14th !! still get nervous doing it but i want to keep donating :)

that's amazing oh my god 💚 it's always good when you work with people like that <3 it's the same here for poc and lgbt <3 i came out in my previous work and was made to feel like i should have stayed in the closet, i kept getting comments from people about my sexuality (i'm bi) saying the stereotypical "you're greedy" "pick a side" "you're just confused," and it made me feel really sad :( but in my current work, i've had nothing but support 100%. my work are really big on being yourself. <3

aw that's so sweet !!! mistakes can happen !! we're only human. we tend to make mistakes too, like if someone's parcel doesn't get delivered, 99% of customers will be like "it's okay, things happen," and we always replace their goods for them and get those delivered asap <3

my day was great !! i did absolutely nothing :))) although i did some giffing, watched some treasure map videos (i love them sm rn omg) and i also slept until 2pm) i hope work was okay !!! i hope your day was great 🌸💎

(lengthy response!)

AAA I'M GLAD U THINK MY HEADER IS CUTE ;; genuinely so happy wiht how it turned out and i wasn't expecting to get so much love on my revamp as much as i did ;;

oh my god jasmine green tea.... we sold that all the time at the boba place i worked... i can see how it wouldn't be your cup of tea (; (pun intended) i think green tea is fine !! i sort of grew up drinking it at asian restaurants and it was always soothing... for some reason green tea at asian restaurants always hit different than having tea brewed by yourself imo (": i never new apple & pear green tea existed wtf ;0 that sounds so good...

i'm sososoo glad u managed to get therapy through your job... i think talking to an actual professional can help for sure and i rlly hope said professional is the right fit for you (": having a good outlet is so important and i honestly wish it was more accessible to the younger generation despite how much others would advocate there to be ;;

oh my anxiety... ): before i had dropped one of my math courses recently, my friend was helping me study for the test... he sort of pointed out how i was having really polarizing thoughts and catastrophizing everything in which led me to realize... a lot of my anxiety stems from these polarizing thoughts !! PAHAHHA i ended up dropping the course in the end because of the sheer amount of stress it was giving me + i didn't even need it to graduate !!

9 days off in march !!! MARCH BREAK YAYAYA honestly it's the best (also because my birthday always lands the day before march break hehe <3) i'm actually like . not active whatsoever it's embarassing ;; but i do walk a lot since i commute taking the bus + my job requires me to be on my feet a lot !! so i indirectly count that as me getting my steps in (":

that is so lovely that your workplace supports you and your bisexuality ): i wish i prided myself more in my sexuality a little bit more but it's not rlly smth i wanna just spew out to the world right off the bat... that's just me personally though ! regardless, i have supportive people around me that know and i'm glad your workplace is supportive of it as well (":

work went super quick !! i always think my sunday shifts feel shorter than my saturday shifts (although they're literally the same length) but my store has been doing well and we've been making our sales for the last couple weeks so that's rlly good to hear (:< i have today off as well so i'm very happy i get to just have a full day to myself before i get thrown back into the swing of things (aka school <3) PAHHAHA

#asks #hev

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I got my license in June and im obviously am going to be on my parents insurance and will have to pay my share. I know its gonna be costly but can any ither peoPle who got cars/car insurance when they were a teen with a teen type job payed for it all? Any advice? From online quotes ive done its roughly 200$ a month with a large 1st payment and it will be shared but its still alot on top of other car expenses. Any help or advice will be loved

What would be the insurance policy on a 2013 Mustang GT/CS?

Make believe it is the summer of 2014 and I just bought the stated car above. How much would a typical insurance go for a used Stang with around 7,000 miles in a small city(like Gainsville) go for?""

Value Of Car Set By Insurance Company?

My car was recently stolen and declared a total lost, when I first got insurance on this car the new or used cost value was set by my insurance company for $19,000. Now that my car is a total lost they only said they can give me the fair market value only. Why did they set a price of $19,000?""

What's the Fastest way to be approved for disability in MA?

And for God sakes don't answer - to be legitimately disabled. That's obvious!!! I have chronic colitis, I'm frequently sick to my stomach and don't have insurance yet. I go to food banks to eat and can barely afford to even live much less do anything slightly fun. I really need disability and know people that have got it because they say they're depressed when their fine (as they told me). So please don't be cruel with a stupid answer. Any real tips?""

Affordable car insurance companies in NYC?

Hi there, I would appreciate it if I can get some names and possibly reviews of inexpensive auto insurance companies within NYC (companies in all 5 boroughs are welcome)? Please! I beg you, don't mention Geico, All State, State Farm, and Progressive! Thanks very much!""

What is the cost of the insurance for the car i want ?

I want a Suzuki Ignis 1.5 sport im just about to start driving wants the insurance going to cost ?

What kind of health insurance do i apply for?

I have a one year old son and he has had medi-cal off on and they give me so many problems and i'm tired of him having medi-cal. I recently reapplied because they stopped it again, but this time i added his father on there since he has no type of medical insurance either.4 weeks went by and i haven't recieved anything in the mail so i call and ask what is going on. The lady was extremely rude to me and tells me they denied my application because they never recieved a packet that requested birth certificates,social securities, proof of income etc. And i tried to explain to her i never recieved the packet that requested any of that and that's why i was calling to let them know and she said well they already denied you so you need to apply again i'm tired of medi-cal my poor son deserves better.so i was wondering if anyone knew of something else i could apply for? it's just for my son and his father i'm still under my moms insurance so i don't need it but i have to apply for them since i'm the mother of my child obviously. We live off of $400 every 2 weeks and have other things to pay for.so please someone help!""

Anyone know where my husband can get dental work done with no insurance?

he is in a huge amount of pain and nothing is working anymore he has even went as far as rinsing his mouth out with peroxide! [ i know right!] but any how we don't have dental insurance and i was wondering is there anywhere he can go like a free clinic or something? we live in East bay California any help would be great thanks! no rude comments please

Dental insurance..?

Hi, i am a student so i do not have much money. I am living in Melbourne, Australia. I would like to know if there is an affordable health insurance that cover dental needs. I need to remove my 4 wisdow teeth and also i would like to put some braces...but i can not aford it. Would an insurance be worth in this case?""

""What is the best way to find cheap car insurance if Ur 21. Ive tried all the comparison sites, help??? ?

I've tried all the comparison sites but I'm getting a really high quote.

What will happen with my car insurance?

ok so i was driving my brothers car and i have my g1 i went to money mart and back home about an hour later police came knocking on my door asking if my brother was in a car accident so we went down to the station and the officer asked if i was driving his car i said yes , he then said that the other man that was sitting in the station got my plates and said i hit his car and cracked his bumper (very minor crack) so i said no and then officer assumed i was lying and made me write up an accident report. after when i was leaving the station the other guy asked if we could solving this without going through insurance so we exchanged numbers (their was no damage at all to my brothers car & no paint or anything on their car to prove i hit it) the next day they called and said the want a whole new bumper they dont want it patched up and they would get me a price quote they then got me a quote for $1475 for a while new bumper from ford i told them im not paying that much the only way im replacing the bumper is if my mechanic does it he said ok so i went to my mechanic told him the whole situation and he said i shouldnt be replacing the whole bumper for somthing that small but he still ordered the bumper for me i had to put a $400 down payment for the bumper and $300 after its put on. the bumper came in 2 days later and they brought their car for it to be put on when we got there they got pissed off and said this isnt a bumper straight from ford and they dont want it and left ( the bumper was brand new for the same model car and had the exact paint coat match just that it wasnt from ford) they then call me threating to take it through insurance if we dont get it from ford so i lost the $400 down payment for the bumper because they cant return it after its painted so i told my mechanic to order it from ford. but when he called for they said the dont have bumpers for that model anymore, i then call the people back and told them to take it through insurance because my mechanic cant get that bumper. So what will happen to my brothers insurance hes under 25 with his g2, and i had my g1 but it was on private property where they said the incident occurred the officer even said he cant charged me because its private property PLEASE HELP!""

progressive rv insurance online quote

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/alamo-insurance-coverage-ethan-gay/"

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bandsanitizer · 7 years ago

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FIC RANT TIME BECAUSE GUESS WHO DEDCIED TO READ 20K+ WORDS INSTEAD OF SLEEPING OR WRITING OR STUDYING??? me ;)

Hey so I read a fanfic and I couldn’t fit everything I needed to say in an ask, so here’s the fic reaction post that tends to occur after I read the most amazing of fics.

As per usually, this is NOT A SPOILER FREE POST.

(In two ways ahahahahah Because Stephanie Brown is mentioned and I can’t be excited over and review a fic without including spoilers)

Now back to the actual point...

“EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING” by @grxysxns IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING IN THE WORLD

IT IS FIVE CHAPTERS, 21376 WORDS, OF PURE GOLD AND ANGST AND DICK GRAYSON (who I love so so so much)

Okay but seriously? It was beautiful from beginning to end and slowly this will be a more coherent post as I calm down, but as of starting this I kind of just finished reading the entire thing at 2:30AM.

Can I just say Birdflash is my favorite and I absolutely love Dick Grayson? Especially stories that really portray the “oldest sibling” side of him in a way that isn’t perfect.

This story does that.

first off, the concept of the AU is a fantastic one and it’s... It’s really interesting? Because Bruce Wayne/Batman is an extreme person who is prepared for everything and anything. There’s a reason he has his contingency plans and knows the weaknesses of the people he’s meant to trust, the people he works and fights alongside. This AU really kicks it up a notch but in such a Bruce way? Like only Bruce Wayne would be like “I LOVE YOU KIDS so you’re not allowed to tell anyone who you are”

I mean, that’s a really simplistic view of it, but the idea of keeping your loved ones safe through not the best of plans, is such a Bruce Wayne move that this AU hardly feels absurd or something so... out of the box. It’s also really creative though and I think it’s a fantastic idea. I will cherish this AU for the rest of life i s2g.

REMINDER: SPOILER ALERT!!!! (go read the fic and come back)

Now onto the Batfam.

@grxysxns Your writing of the characters were amazing??????? I LOVE YOUR CHARACTERIZATION OF DICK GRAYSON AND I WILL SCREAM IT FROM THE ROOF TOPS!!!!!! The way you write Tim is superb. I also do like how you wrote the rest of the batfam (even though there wasn’t everyone necessarily, the idea of family was there). Sure, like other fanfic writers, there was some glossing over of the tensions between Jason and the rest of them and maybe some of the other members BUT IN THE CONTEXT OF THE STORY IT WORKS SO WELL AND I CANT REALLY COMPLAIN

Dick takes on so much and he does this thing where he acts strong for the people he loves and the people he wants to protect. The way you wrote that was stunning. I love the balance of you showcasing how much Dick was doing and how much Dick was screwing up. I like the contrast between the things superhero working out with things falling apart with Wally and then sort of a switch later on. I love when writers capture the good and the bad that comes with Dick Grayson trying to take the world on his shoulders for the sake of his family (specifically his younger siblings). I also love how vulnerable and just broken he seemed, which I know sounds bad, but I love me some Angst™️ yknow? This story has a perfect balance of that and happy endings that are too happy, but just right. A nice ending that feels like a happy batfam yknow?

To be honest, I could go on forever about your characterization of Dick Grayson. !!!!!!! Your showcasing of his infamous anger was not missed and I love it! You included his flaws but showed him being great too and that’s !!!!! The best

As for Tim, holy shit, I love the way your wrote Tim, especially his transition out of Robin. Like, it’s not from Tim’s point of view but I LOVE COMMUNICATION AND DICK SITTING DOWN TO HELP TIM WITH THE MESS OF TIM NO LONGER BEING ROBIN AND DICK REALLY MAKING SURE TIM KNOWS THAT DICK ISNT REPLACING HIM AND THAT TIM IS SO SO SPECIAL AND SO SO LOVED!!!! Also their brotherly interactions about Kon were just ... so beautiful *cries*

Damian was great too??? I like the balance of “from the league of assassins” and “still a kid” that was there. I appreciate that moment where Damian’s just so unsure and Dick’s like “over my dead body” because I just love dick!bats and dami!robin?????? I mean Dick!Bats alone isn’t a favorite of mine, but Dick and Damian have this dynamic that I really like and I think you captured their relationship quite amazingly. (I’m sorry I lack a large vocabulary so my adjectives might repeat)

Then with Cass and the signing... It’s not huge but I love it so much.

Also the hints of Babs and Steph, I love them, but the way you wrote their lack of presence was powerful, too, because I think the distance portrayed really fits how they’d handle everything and despite anything to the contrary, I feel like Dick really does understand his siblings enough to know which ones need the daily check ups and which ones need the prolonged space, until they’re ready. (Tim and Cass vs Steph and Jason) And both are good and fine and did I mention I LOVE YOU AND THE WAY YOU WROTE THE BATFAM????

Plus the whole Dick watching everyone move on while he’s busy living the life of his dead father, was a really intriguing contrast that I found unique and interesting. I like the depth of Dick’s distain for being Batman extending beyond the fact that it’s the opposite of everything he tried as Nightwing. It’s also tying to something he knows he needs to move on from and I just love how you wrote it.

And Jason? My god the ending part was great. I liked the interaction and I like the way Jason shooting those guys was handled, because to some degree, I do believe that between Dick and Bruce there are difference in their beliefs in the whole “don’t kill” code. I think it’s be in character, especially for a stressed and tired and hurt, Dick Grayson to overlook it a bit for the sake of family and just cos it’s not the most pressing issue. Idk Bruce might, but Dick Grayson screams family and I love his interaction with Jason

And now to the bIRDFLASH!!!!!!!! Let me tell you, this will FOREVER be my favorite Birdflash fanfic. Okay so like there’s always a chance you’ll write something more amazing, but this is, by far, one of the greatest fanfics I have ever read. It’s beautifully constructed, well planned, has great emotions, and a nice balance of “IMMA MAKE YOU CRY” and “HERE LAUGH YOUR ASS OFF”

Okay anyways, Birdflash.

WALLY WEST, MY BABY, BEING SO KIND AND SOFT AND UNDERSTANDING (generally speaking) WAS BEAUTIFUL!

CONSENT! IS! IMPORTANT! and even if Dick wasn’t necessarily deterred by those kinds of things and more for the sake of keeping up the lie, I really appreciate how much Wally listened and just had basic! human! decency! It was beautiful and soft and just ... so breathtaking

I love soft birdflash yknow?

AND THEN THE ANGST! The whole Dick “learning” Wally’s the Flash and the guilt from Dick and the later misunderstandings and the eventual truth telling... It was excellently crafted in my opinion. It’s a cliché to have the whole superhero and “oh no are they cheating?!” but you wrote it so amazingly and then Wally calling Dick the next day with understanding and apology was refreshing and really sweet.

WALLY REASSURING DICK HE LOVES HIM AND YET ASKING FOR SPACE IS ALSO THE BEST!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE HOW YOU WROTE THIS SCENE SO SO SO SO SO SO MUCH BECAUSE ITS SO SWEET BUT SO REAL AND GENUINE! It’s realistic to have Wally express love and care but also need space, while Dick gets why Wally needs space but kind of wishes Wally could stay. It’s a lovely balance and I’m so in love with your writing.

Finally, the ending. Which basically is great because I love Robins (and any batkid really) not taking Bruce’s shit. Like him telling Clark and Diana I understand, but then forcing Dick and the rest of them to stick to the gag-order... Not his best move. Yet, like the kids, you can understand part of where he came from... And I like that. I also love how you wrote the scene like...

Bruce: WTF?

Kon: 0.0

Wally: 0.0

Tim: uh...

Dick: *comes running in, but like more hobbling* hI YES I DID IT NOW FIGHT ME BROOSE

Damian: *running in after* You cannot be fighting, Grayson!

So a little off, but main idea: Big Brother Dick Grayson, Protective Damian, Cute TimKon, and Wally “What’s happening?” West.

Overall, what I am trying to say is that this story was a phenomenal read and by far one of my favorites across all fandoms and ships. It stands out as one of the best that I’ve read, in terms of characterization of Dick Grayson and his relationships with the other batfam members. The writing of Dick and Wally’s relationship was stunning and this is definitely one of those fanfics I’ll always find myself coming back to read.

You’re an amazing author and I hope to read more of your writing! This piece had me in awe from start to end and I just... Just Thank you? For writing something so amazing and interesting and balanced.

Seriously, “Every Fiber of My Being” is wonderful, so well written, and a really special type of AU that leaves you with a little sense of “What do you mean this isn’t canon?”

“Every Fiber of My Being” by @grxysxns is a fantastic Birdflash/Batfam AU, that really hits all your Dick Grayson feels with a loving handful of soft and caring Birdflash. GO AND READ IT!!! AND THEN EXPRESS YOUR LOVE TO THE AUTHOR!!!

Also this is intended both as a reaction, a love letter to the author, and a rec for people who haven’t read it, and I apologize for how confusing this might’ve been. But wow, there were hardly enough words to explain the way I feel about this particular fanfic.

#fic reaction

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toast-the-unknowing · 8 years ago

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lydia-st-james tagged me in a writing in review meme, which, man. That takes me back. I haven't done one of these in ages.

Main take-aways: 1. 2017 was the year of the long-ass fic titles, apparently. 2. It only took ten freaking years but I can mostly write romance without dying of embarrassment. Mostly. 3. Ten years has not been long enough to teach me how to start something and just finish it already before starting twenty more things. Seriously, there are so many stories that I started this year that I keep thinking ya'll have read already and then I remember that no one has read those because I haven't finished them yet. Oh well. Maybe 2018 will be a year of extraordinary personal growth and self-discipline. Spoiler alert: it won't be.

Anyway. These are the things that I've published so far this year.

Listed in chronological order of publication, with one exception:

new worlds for the weary, new lands for the living Okay, so, I don't know if anyone else thinks of any of their stories this way, but I have a very small handful of fics that are my heartsong fics. I don't think of them as being stories. I think of them as being thousands of words of meta and criticism and gushing and character love and, just, me, pouring my heart out over some aspect of canon that is important to me, and then maybe if I'm lucky, I trick people into reading it and thinking it's a story.

Yeah. This is one of those. I started this story before I had even finished Blue Lily, Lily Blue, which is not a thing I do. I always finish canon (to whatever extent canon exists at the time of my joining fandom) before I start writing. But I wanted so badly to write about Adam and Ronan and how I felt about their relationship that I couldn't wait.

This was something like a five month writing process all told, and I'm really happy with the end result. The moment where Ronan smears ink on Adam's face, in particular, I'm very proud of. I'm proud of that whole fight scene, really, but that moment is such a strong visual, and I'm not generally great at creating those.

don't think about how much it will hurt God, I still hate this title, but I do love this fic. It exists because I had been toying around with a canon-divergent AU that I quickly realized was going to take a shit-ton of work and not actually be that interesting. I ditched the AU, but there was one scene I liked enough that I didn't want to give up on it (Ronan trying to provoke Adam into punching him and then holding his hand while wondering wtf he's doing), and I realized it could pretty easily be made canon-compliant and given the legs to stand on its own.

I briefly considered tagging this as "preslash if you consider fighting and bad decisions to be flirting, which if you ship pynch, you probably do," and then I considered how poorly that would match the tone of this story. I am very happy with the tone of this story. It was hard to write, and I think it's hard to read, and it's a better story for it.

the more we move ahead the more we're stuck in rewind NO ONE ON EARTH READ THIS FIC BUT I DON'T GIVE A SHIT I LOVE IT. There are so many, many, many things in this fic that make me happy: -Clarke being an unholy mashup of my sister and talldecafcappuccino -"You thought that there was an intersection of sentimentality and camp that Miller wouldn't be interested in?" -Just, Murphy. All of Murphy. -The Inseparable, Indestructible Blake Siblings (which is when the Blake siblings are at their best, fuck you, canon) -"Do you ever worry that we're going to turn out to be warped people with unhealthy relationships/Honestly at this point I'm counting on it." -the whole scene where Raven friend-dumps Clarke -Monty taking "gas grass or ass" too seriously -Nate's stupid "you know what they say about those guys with Bigfoot" t-shirt (I would wear that t-shirt)

Like, I know why this story wasn't successful as an item of fan culture. And I acknowledge that there are weaknesses in the writing. But I still fucking love it.

so familiar, like an old bedtime song Ugh, this was called "came in quiet with the rain" right up until the very second I published it and then I changed my mind and I still regret it. Never second gues yourselves, kids. (Either way: "Raising Cain" is a good Adam/Ronan song.) I wrote about half of this on a whim and then shoved it in a corner waiting for inspiration for the longer story that I thought it was meant to be a part of. Then I was sitting around on Adam's birthday/my birthday weekend, a little tipsy in the middle of the day, and I decided, nah, this can be a standalone. I'm not kidding myself that it's great literature but I think it does what it sets out to do well.

The Fake Geek Boy Job This is a rare example, for me, of coming up with a title first and writing the story around it. So that was fun. I was so, so, so happy with the response to this fic. I've written case fic before, but I'm not good at heists, and I was really worried that the way I handle the heavier plot elements here – basically cutting around them and explaining all of the offstage action through snarky banter – was going to feel like cheating. Like, there's probably a version of this story that's 20k words longer and is twice as good, but it would have taken ten times as much work. It seems like people understood the plot as it stands and didn't feel robbed, and it was such a relief to hear that.

Where Everybody Knows Your Name IT IS THE PROUDEST ACCOMPLISHMENT OF MY ENTIRE LIFE that there are only two fanfics on AO3 tagged with the relationship tag "Quark & Jake Sisko" and I wrote both of them. Though I fully admit that "Everybody Comes to Quark's" is the better story of the two. This one feels like the first half is from one story and the second half is from a different story and neither of those two stories is complete, per se. But love a lot of the individual lines, character moments, etc. Also, just, any times spend with my beloved ridiculous giraffe boy Jake is good time.

faith, hope, all that bullshit This is the best thing that I have ever written that is based on a typo. And...I don't really know how to talk about this fic beyond that. It took something like seven months of on-again-off-again work; I am super grateful to Pynch Week for giving me the kick in the pants to finish it. There were so many things that were challenging about this – I hated everything in life the entire time I was writing Matthew. Plus trying to write all the characters as being a little older and more mature and their relationships as having progressed. But it was worth it because there are so many moments in this fic that just are still living in my head, even though I've put the fic down.

I think my favorite scene of all is the Christmas Eve scene, partly because I love Declan and partly because I love the "fucking Cain ruined it for the rest of us" exchange. But from a craft point of view I'm proud of that scene a lot. The first scene is its own contained story with beginning/middle/end; the Christmas Eve scene is what makes the proposal scene the beginning of a longer story, and it happens without the POV character understanding that it's happening. I'm pretty happy with how that all turned out.

People really liked the wedding scene, which is gratifying and totally baffling. That scene was murder to write. I don't even want to plan my own wedding, now I got to make one up for someone else? Of course, I mean. I cheated, because I didn't actually write the reception. Maybe the lesson here is if I don't even want to write a scene then for sure no one would want to read it?

Word on the Street This is another one, like The Fake Geek Boy Job, where I think there's a version of the story that's twice as good and eight times as long and a hundred times more work to write; I'm satisfied with my version. Also, I think the longer version is much more serious, whereas this is a comedy and I am happy with it as a comedy. Adam maybe comes off a little poorly, in the way that comedy characters sometimes come off dickish/rude/sociopathic. But it makes me laugh and honestly if I make myself laugh I'm happy. (That's not to say I'm never going to write the epic tale of how Ronan becomes Greywaren – I know what the first line of it is – but it's a real low priority).

come out of the cupboard, you boys and girls OKAY I WROTE THIS IN LIKE LITERALLY TWO DAYS AND YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND HOW HAPPY THAT MAKES ME. Even just writing something of this length usually takes weeks if not months between when I start it and when I finish it. This was like a dirty little fling, and as someone who never has dirty little flings either in life or in writing, that was a fun change of pace.

The Dragon's Nest Avatar: The Last Airbender is, in my eyes, basically a perfect television show, and it's a lot harder to write fic for something that you think is well-written/complete on its own, because where do you and your fanwriting fit in? As such, this was a challenge, but I'm pretty happy with it. Alchemicink, for whom this was written, mentioned being happy just from seeing the "intergenerational friendship" tag, and I gotta say I was happy just from getting to use that tag. And any day you get to write Toph stomping around yelling at people is a good day.

while we're on the subject, could we change the subject now So credit where credit is due: lydia-st-james gave me the prompts here and put up with my intermittent screeching as I was working on it. It took me a while to get it all done, but I wrote literally 13k words of this in the first four days, which is bonkers; I'm usually much more of a percolator in the early stages of writing. As such a lot of the outlining process is lost to the sands of time. I don't remember making an actual decision to set this in LA; I think my subconscious realized before I did that this was going to be a story about loneliness and depression, and, fairly or unfairly, I associate loneliness and depression with the city of Los Angeles. In any case, it gave me lots of opportunities to throw shade at LA and I'm always down for that, and I've loved hearing people respond to the specificity of the location.

It's funny to me that people are responding to this one so strongly because I don't generally groove on fake dating; I’ve never written it as a trope and I always find it hard to swallow as a reader. I wonder if there's something to be said for writing tropes one is somewhat critical of. Though I don't think, generally, it works out when people write a thing they actively hate. It's a theory I'm tinkering with, anyway.

#long-ass post #whoops #sorry?#millenial loves talking about herself: news at 11 #lydia-st-james #gpoy

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