#I HATE THIS STUPID FUCKING UGLY ASS DRESS ITS SO BAD FUCK I HATE IT I HAGE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT

[beastwars-transformers]

FUCKING NO ONE

[mobiused]

could you show some examples of hyeju's worst outfits? I thought they usually dressed her well but i guess I haven't been paying attention. Also i agree with the gowon puff sleeve thing. I think it suits her princess brand

OK this ended up getting long because of the structurue so under the cut

Stupid fucking bow makes her head look so fucking stupid here

Conceptually this isn't so bad but I hate the shape, bust looks weird, dress is too short, n thats not about modesty it's just completely unflattering for her legs & hips

Who the fucks idea was it to put her in what is essentially little more than a lingerie slip dress and stick some garters on it whilst everyone else bar choerry is in normal cute dresses? Thematically inapproriate and way too short to dance how she wants (watching her fancams this era and seeing her fight with 99% of her outfits was actually migraine inducing). It actually looks quite pretty tbh but I don't like it if it makes her look out of place and also weirdly sexualised in comparison to everybody else

THIS WAS JUST SO FUCKING SHIT LIKE DOTN FU CKING PISS ME OFF she's lucky she's hot because what the fuck. Like literally what the fuck this is so fuckng stupid. How do you fuck up an all-black outfit with red accents like this so badly. Her fringe/hair looks so stupid and doesn't suit her face at all. She's meant to look sharp and fierce and sexy and she just l ooks fucking stupid. Monika had to intervene with scissors because she was literally wearing a lycra t-shirt before this . What the fuck. (Queendom era styling on the whole was pretty good)

Everyone else is wearing sexatron 5000 hot sexy leather/PVC whatever that material is and they gave hyeju an oversized blazer and a hairdo that makes it look like she's 60 in combination with the fucking shit dyejob and jewelry borrowed from maggie thatcher. Whats going on???????? (If you're a longtime follower you'll know that even though I hated and hate this outfit I pondered whether this was Hyeju's personal choice to not wear outfits that she personally found objectifying like the leather club inspired outfits, but then looking at how she was styled for flip that, she(?) seems to have backtracked on that)

Hair is actually cute here to be fair. But this was just a disaster for everyone. If you're gonna be ripping off Rokh's SS21 collection at least do it right cuz what....lmfao

I lol'd I really did.

Ugly ass top...

Actually hold on this one eats. But

... Actually I don't even hate the fringe but what the fuck are these shorts

OH MY GOD DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I FUCKING DESPISE THESE BULLSHIT FLOWERY GIRLY LITTLE FUCKING BLOUSES THEY LOOK SO FUCKING SHIT THEY DONT SUIT HER AT ALL AND YET FOR SOME REASON WHEN THEY WANT TO MAKE HER LOOK *CUTE* AND *NORMAL GIRL* THEYLL DRESS HER LIKE A GRANDMA DRESSING HER 13 YEAR OLD GRANDDAUGHTER AND IS AFRAID TO HAVE PEOPLE LOOKING AT HER OHHH MY GOD IT AGGRIVATES ME SO MUCH LIKE WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ACTUALLY WEARING

Age inappropriate for a teenage girl, modesty aside those heels and that blouse makes her look dated and weird

This was literally outrageous (hers is the shortest of all of them bar hyunjin whos wearing shorts anyway, and she's 17 here), especially the obviously padded bra, and her discomfort is palpable

I could literally go on. And I'm being quite generous here by not including outfits that aren't my personal taste but otherwise probably considered inoffensive. But really its like when was the last time I've seen an outfit Hyejus been styled in and not gone one of the following 1) Wow this is unflattering 2) Wow she looks stupid 3) Wow she looks uncomfortable/ this impairs her movement 4) Wow she looks like she's going to a different event compared to everyone else

Maybe I'm just especially harsh with her styling because she matters the most to me IDK.

[hysokaz]

illumi dresses like its his first time outside.

illumi dresses like its his first time picking his own outfit. absolutely no fucking drip whatsoever. disgusting.

[urproblematicfav-arsonk]

I think a lot of people overlook that Izzy's actually a fairly meh okay person when he doesn't feel threatened. He's calm and open about his feelings with Jackie to a sort of embarrassing point lol. He's surprisingly chill during the initial Stede interaction and MOST importantly in my opinion, he's openly soft with Edward. I see a lot of fanfic that characterizes Iz has having this hyper masculine image of Blackbeard in his head and when Ed fails to meet that standard he's violent and cruel. And that's true in the last episode when Izzy is at the end of his fucking rope and is making the worse possible choices out of desperation but before that,,, its really not that bad??

There's clearly a disconnect between the two of them that's bothering Ed("you have no imagination" ect) but Izzy still shows a lot of softness towards Ed. Its mostly in his body language and exasperated housewife voice but Izzy is showing that he's okay with Ed being soft and being soft to Ed back but only in private. And this isn't to say Iz doesn't absolutely have his own toxic masculinity issues but I think these issues come more from fear then Izzy genuinely thinking being nice and having friends is bad. Something also important to remember is that Izzy knows what is probably Ed's most emasculating secret: the fact that he doesn't fucking kill people. Its not overly clear if Izzy knows the why of it but either way he respects it and actively protects Ed and takes on the burden for him because he knows that it on some level will hurt him to try to push him into it. When Iz betrays Ed he keeps saying "its humane" "its fast and clean and over" like he's trying to ease Ed's conscience and make it emotionally easier.

Izzy also isn't initially bothered by Ed playing dress up until he realizes Stede is also there. So Izzy is mostly okay with Ed wearing stupid fancy boy clothes and being a dramatic weirdo across the boat because Edward is erratic and probably has already done this before. And even though its a delete scene and I will forever hate David for this, Iz did help Ed get dressed up for the party.

I think Iz' behavior is just normal ass romcom other woman jealousy and having deeply internalized trauma and fear towards being seen as less masculine by society. Maybe I'm just having too much empathy for everything all the time again but Izzy's problem is so clearly that he knows if he's vulnerable and soft then he'll get fucking destroyed by the cishet toxic world we all live in. He's posturing all of the fucking time as a form of self defense and he tries to force Ed to use Blackbeard in the same way because he wants Ed to be safe and hidden from the people who absolutely are out there and want to hurt them. Trauma tends to fuck with you're perception of reality so we as a audience watch and go "But Fang and Ivan are cool!! They wouldn't bully Izzy for being soft" (despite the fact that the do in fact bully him in canon) but for Izzy, he's just in panic survival mode all of the time and can't easily relax and just casually trust a bunch of strangers in the way Stede (and by extension Ed) can

My point is Izzy deserves love and the space for growth just like Ed did and if you think otherwise then ur ugly and I don't like u.

also if Izzy doesn't get a redemption arc I will fully end up hating this show and i really deeply mean that im not fucking being hyperbolic lol

[yoonguurt]

And What Would You Like?

Pairing: Jooheon x reader

Genre: fluff, smut

Warnings: thigh riding, penetrative sex, protected sex (this is the right way)

You glance at your glass self staring back at you from the mirror, looking as pleased as you felt. Your eyes scan over your reflection in all its ridiculous glory, and you let out a scoff. The woman in front of you is clad in, in your opinion, the most hideous outfit known to man. Your torso is covered in a darker green shirt with oversized golden buttons, the sleeves sliced in a way that reminds you of shark teeth, and that thought kind of makes you feel slightly better. Your leggings are probably the most comfortable leggings you’ve ever worn, but the red and white stripes printed on them make you feel like a walking candy cane. You hate candy canes. You think the shoes might actually be the worst part of this outfit, they fit fine but look far too big for your feet and the same ugly green as your shirt. They have little bells on them that jingle every time you move and the sound of bells haunts your nightmares now. Then there’s the hat. That fucking hat. No, that is definitely the worst part. It’s floppy and red and just pure uncomfortable. It itches and has a weird smell no matter how many times you wash it, and in true Christmas spirit, another damn bell.

You don’t hate your job, but you aren’t sure why you came back. The pay is ok at best, the customers can be a bit assy,  but you do have your coworkers. You say coworkers, but you know you’re only thinking of one in particular. Your mind flashes an image of the cutest dimples and you know that’s the main reason you came back for a second season as one of Santa’s elves. You sigh and grab your keys and trudge out the door. Pulling into your usual spot in the mall parking lot, you feel the urge to turn your car back on and head right back home. The urge only double as you look into the mirror in your sun visor and see that stupid hat again. Your hand flies to your keys that are still in the ignition, ready to turn it and speed out of there. Your hand only has to move just a small amount and your car is ready to go, but before you make that move, you were the sweetest laugh from somewhere in your memory. You hate that just the phantom laugh has the power to make your heart flip and causes your hand to move from the keys. 

Walking through the mall doors immediately makes you want to turn around. Despite the early hour, the speakers are blaring Christmas music, and though you know why, it annoys you. The murmur of constant talking adds to your already forming headache. You can see the line already beginning to form and you already know that you won’t be getting out of here till late. You weave through the small crowd gathering near the corner of the mall where everything had been set up, rounding the corner only to pause in a bit of surprise. Everything is vastly different this year. Last year had been the first year this particular company had set up a Santa area in a mall so everything was pretty, for lack of a better word, crappy. You remember the short, raggedy green carpet that had been set up for people to line up on. It had definitely seen better days, the edges had long started to fray. The carpet let up to a single chair, that always looked like it was one ass away from collapsing. 

The difference today is striking. The green carpet had been replaced, it was still kind of stiff as if this was the first time it was being used. The shitty chair had been replaced by, well many things. The flashy new carpet led to a very large platform with stairs on either side of it. On top sat a very different chair than before. This one looked like no one had ever sat in it, it was very ornate with carvings painted in gold on the top and sides. Directly in front of the chair was a slide. You thought that part was pretty neat, a little bit of an extra reward for having to wait in such long lines.  You walk forward, slightly turning your body every now and then to keep from running into people. You greet the twins, Ella and Emma, as you pass, assuming they’re going to be the second group of partners with you this year. They each give you a wave as they stay in place at the bottom of each set of stairs, which means you’ll be at the top. As soon as you reach the top of the platform, you’re met with the sound of jingling bells. You immediately turn your back to the direction of sound, biting back a smile that really wants your face to split in a wide grin. You do your best to seem like you’re busy doing something as the sound of bells continues behind you. It doesn’t take long for the noise to stop, a whiney sound replacing the jingles. You slowly turn around to see the cutest pout you have ever seen. “ Aw come on. You know I hate when you ignore me!” The sentence was drawn out as the man before had let it out in a whine. “I know you do, Jooheon. That’s why I do it.” You laughed as you replied, knowing it would only cause him to pout at you more even though you meant nothing by it. He gives you a playful shove, pout intensifying before his face shifts into mock anger. Your playful session with Jooheon comes to an abrupt halt as a man dressed in a Santa suit walks up from a third set of stairs hidden behind the platform. You give your partner a quick huff of a laugh and shake your head as you make your way to the right side staircase and motion for the first child in line to start climbing the stairs. 

You can’t even count how many children you had ushered from the stairs to Santa. Your shift was longer than you remembered and your stomach has been reminding you that you needed food for hours no. It had been a very busy opening day and there just hadn’t been enough time for you to grab something to eat on your almost nonexistent break. You had just enough time to rush to the restroom on the other side of the mall and then rush back. You really can’t wait to get home and take a shower and get some sleep before you have to do it all again the next. Grabbing a broom, you help sweep and clean up the village area, all four of you working together to get it done quickly. Finishing your part of cleaning didn’t take long at all so you put your supplies away and wished everyone a quick goodnight and head to the mall entrance. Just as you push through the doors of the mall, you hear someone calling your name from behind you. You turn to see Jooheon jogging to catch up with you and you chuckle a little as you pause and wait for him. Your chuckle turns into more of a giggle when he stops in front you, hands on his knees. You can tell that he is only slightly out of breath and his posture is just an exaggeration. He jerks his head up quickly, flashing you that gorgeous smile and you will your cheeks not to blush. “Hey you wanna go get some food from the place up the street? I know we didn’t get much of a break so I thought you might be hungry and I’m already going. Wanna keep me company?” You feel your stomach do a little flip and your mind immediately tells your body to shut up and that he’s just being nice. Realizing you’ve been silent for a moment, you nod your head and start to tell him that you’re totally down for some food, but a rumble from your stomach beats you to it. Jooheon laughs and your demanding hunger grumble and nods his head toward the parking lot. “Come on then, I’ll drive.”

This was very new. You had never spent time with Jooheon outside of work. What do you even talk about? You weren’t the kind of person to get nervous easily, but you were starting to get that nervous feeling. The two of you walked to his car in silence, shoulders just barely brushing. You took a step to the side, not wanting to crowd Jooheon too much, but almost immediately you were brushing his shoulder again. Jooheon sped up slightly to make it to his car before you did, grabbing his passenger door just in time for you to step up to the car. He flashed you that boyish smile as he held the door for you and bowed slightly and made a swiping motion toward his car. The action caused you to let out a loud laugh as you sat in the seat. Once he had closed the door, you watched as he jogged around the front of the car and planted himself in the driver’s seat. He gave you another quick smile as he turned the key and buckled his seatbelt, casting you a glance to make sure you had done the same. “Safety first.” You giggled at his words, rolling your eyes slightly even though you appreciated the gesture. 

“You good with the chicken place up here?” His eyes never left the road as he spoke, voice calm. Once you gave him an affirmative answer, he nodded his head with a quick ‘cool’ as he switched lanes. The car went silent, but it was in no way an uncomfortable silence. To you, it felt like two people that had lived together for a while, two people enjoying each other’s company while still doing their own thing. You let out a small sigh of content, just enjoying the ride. “Everything ok?” This time Jooheon turned his head in your direction briefly, a look of concern on his face. You gave him a small and a nod, telling him that it wasn’t a bad sigh and he smiled back at you. As he turned into the drive, you realized that though you had passed the restaurant, you had never actually stopped here. A flash of panic shot through you, worrying that there wouldn’t like anything here. You quickly talk yourself down, telling yourself that it’s a chicken place and of course chicken tenders are an option. After your almost panic, you feel the car come to a stop as Jooheon pulls into a parking spot. 

“Pick a table, any table.” Jooheon says in his best over the top magician voice. You give him a playful shove, which he returns. His shove is a tad bit harder than you expected and you start to tip backwards. You close your eyes, preparing yourself for a fall, only to feel a pull on your arm. You feel warm breath on your cheeks and you open your eyes to find Jooheon’s face directly in front of yours. You take a moment to admire his lips up close, your breath hitching as you realize that all you had to do was lean slightly and you’d be kissing him. It feels like forever that you two stand in silence before Jooheon finally speaks. “Sorry. I guess I used a little too much force.” His voice is barely above a whisper and you could feel your cheeks starting to burn, glancing up to see that his are tinted pink too. You take a quick step back and quickly place a smile on your face. “Just check your strength next time, Muscles.” You punctuate your sentence with a small huff of a laugh. He quickly follows your laugh with one of his own and a nod as he follows you toward one of the outdoor patio tables. 

After ordering your food, there is a little bit of awkward silence between the two of you and you do your best to think of something to talk about to ease the awkwardness. “So, why a mall elf? Is it the costume?” You have a bit of a smirk playing on your lips as you wait for his answer. “I just really like kids. I know some of them can be a pain, but most of them are pretty well behaved and I really like seeing the way their eyes light up when they finally get to Santa. What about you?” That was in no way what you were expecting and there was no way you could answer that question honestly. There was no way you could tell him that the only reason you came back was because of him.  You didn’t think about the possibility of him asking you the same question. You really should have thought a little longer. “I just really like Christmas is all.” You mentally scold yourself for such a lame answer. It wasn’t like it was a lie, you really did love Christmas time, it was just a ridiculous answer. You watch as he smirks briefly before giving you a nod. “So what do you do during the rest of the year?” His eyes were focused on yours, almost burning through you. It took you a moment to answer, too focused on his chocolate globes. “Something very similar.” You pause to let out a laugh. “I work in my family’s convenience store. You? What does the cheeriest elf around do on a normal day?” He straightens his back a little and his face turns a bit serious. He’s quiet for a moment, letting his professional aura sink in a little more. “Bakery cashier Jooheon at your service.” His straight face immediately breaks, a giant smile plastered across his face. “A friend of mine owns a bakery and I work for him. He lets me off on the days I work at the mall.” Before you could respond, your food was being sat on the table. You quickly grabbed your chicken tenders, not really realizing how hungry you were until food was right in front of you. You heard a chuckle as you began to dig into your food and you suddenly felt embarrassed for shoveling food in your mouth. Your eating slowed as the two of you continued to make small talk, slowly learning more about each other.

The conversation continued well after the both of you were done eating. Jooheon checked his watch and quirked his eyebrows. “We should probably get you back to your car before it gets too late.” He motioned to sever and told her that you were ready to pay. You watched her walk back into the building quickly coming back at and setting a single ticket on the table. “How much do I owe?” Your focus was on your wallet as you flipped through it to get your cash. “Nope. I got it.” You lifted your head, eyes slightly widening to find Jooheon already handing the server her his card. He turns to face you, smile wide and eyes crinkling slightly. You’re slightly in awe at just how beautiful yet boyish he looks. You get an overwhelming feeling of wanting to pinch his cheeks but wanting to kiss him at the same time. You open your mouth to protest, only to be cut off by the server bringing Jooheon’s card back. He thanks her and she grabs the tray of trash and tells the both of you to have a good night. 

The drive back to your car is filled with soft music. The volume isn’t high, straining slightly you do your best to make out the voice. It’s not one you’ve heard before but it somehow sounds familiar. It's a smooth and honeyed sound, every now and then a growling texture making an appearance. The transition from soft vocals to the graveled rapping is seamless, you almost don’t notice the change. It leaves you feeling warm and calm and it’s very easy to get lost in the sound of the voice. You can feel yourself zoning out, trying to focus on the lyrics. You can make out enough to know that  it’s a song about wanting to confess to someone and it resonates with you. You can feel  how desperately the artist wants the object of his affection to know about  his feelings. The song is nearing its end when you finally realize you’re pulling up to your car and you really want to know who the artist is so you can look them up, but you can’t seem to make yourself ask. You both sit silently for a moment before Jooheon’s voice rings out in the air. “Thanks for coming with. See you tomorrow for the ole shift work? You give him a nod. “Thanks for the invite,I had fun.” You reach for the handle, trying not to swing the door too hard. You give him a smile and a small wave as you step out of the car and move to close the door. You hear Jooheon call your name and you pause and lean down a little to look at him. “Get home safe, yeah?” You laugh and agree, telling him to do the same as you close the door. 

You’re beyond grateful at the feeling of the hot water that falls from the shower head. Showers have always been your favorite part of the day, even to the extent of taking more than one on occasion. Most of your showers where the run of the mill get clean showers, but sometimes you would take far longer than you needed. You really liked being able to take your time, sitting down in the bottom of the tub and letting the water just run over your body. You could almost feel the weight of the day being purged from your body. Showers were your way of relaxing, and though this one was no different, you didn’t let it drag on. You were more tired than usual, which probably had something to do with the slight mental strain of being nervous about the hangout/date with Jooheon. Was it a date? You wanted to entertain that thought but you couldn’t allow yourself. Jooheon was just being nice since you two hadn’t had lunch, nothing more. Even though your brain spent energy telling yourself that was all it was, your heart still felt a small flip at the possibility of a date. 

Feeling a slight chill as you step out of the shower, you rush to grab your favorite of black sweats and plain black shirt that is just a tad too big. You quickly dress yourself and rush to put your work clothes in the dryer, flicking your heat on as you pass the thermostat. Your nightly routine didn’t consist of anything too intensive. You washed your face with a simple face wash, followed by an equally simple moisturizer and a brush of your teeth. Due to the cold, you made sure to dry your hair, not wanting to possibly get sick, which was the final piece of your routine. Your apartment has started to warm up slightly, but you still bury yourself in your bed, dragging the blanket all the way up to your chin. 

Your alarm snaps you out of sleep and you already feel your mood dip. The fog of your dreams lifts enough for you to not fully remember what it was about, but your heart is swelling with feelings of Jooeheon, which leads you to believe he played an important part in your mind's nightly escapades. It isn’t the first time you’ve dreamt of the dimpled man, and you can feel that it probably won’t be the last. Your thought drifts to the day you met Jooheon and a smile immediately graces your lips without you even realizing it. You laugh slightly at the memory, feeling so long ago even though it’s only just been a year. 

You had been sitting in a bland room waiting for your interview to start, eyes panning the room. It was just a small room with dull gray walls, the paint was slightly peeling and there was no wall art anywhere in the room. The only sign of movement was the man on the other side of the room, bouncing his leg. You could practically see the sweat starting to bead up on his forehead and you felt a little bad for him. This was obviously something he wanted and anyone could see how nervous he was about this interview. You noticed as he glanced at you, leg still bouncing only faster. You quickly react by flashing him a smile and giving him a thumbs up as a lady in slacks calls his name. He hadn’t been behind the white door for long before he came back out, this time with a large smile on his face. You had been struck by how boyish his smile had been, not expecting it. Immediately after you were struck by just how attractive the man was and how his smile seemed to fit him perfectly, even though you had never talked to him. After getting the job, you were shocked that Jooheon had been assigned as your elf partner. The company had wanted every employee to have a partner. The partners would work every shift together, the company felt that it would bring some sort of consistency in the village. As soon as you had arrived, he gave you that dazzling smile and you knew that you were going to be hooked. 

You got ready much like you had the day before, mirror mental meltdown included. You hold out hope that today will be a good day, the day before hadn’t been awful despite not getting a lunch. Your hope was very swiftly smashed as you looked at the line already forming. It was twice as long as the day before and from the looks of it, most of the kids were in no way well behaved. Your shift went by in a slow wave of crying kids and impatient mothers. While today you were given a break, Santa really needed to get a way for a few minutes, it felt like there hadn’t been a point. You did your best to maintain your cheery elf persona, and you had done a very good job of it. When it came time to leave, you moved straight toward the door. Staying and cleaning wasn’t really part of your job, but you liked to help out the mall staff, but you just couldn’t bear to be here a minute longer. You gave everyone a quick goodbye and a small wave of your hand.

Your hand is reaching for the door handle when you hear your name being called and you almost groan out loud, the only thing stopping you is the recognition of Jooheon’s voice. You stop and turn to face him, giving him a tired smile. “Hey, think you might wanna get some food again? You know, try to have some fun and get rid of this shitty mood?” You can feel yourself deflate a bit. You would absolutely love to hang out with him again, but you’re drained. You peek up at him and his face has the softest expression on it and you feel your stomach flutter and your mood soften slightly. You realize as you look at him that there is absolutely no way that you can say no to his adorable face. You finally smile a little bigger and give him a small nod. He flashes you a giant smile and grabs your hand and pulls you into the parking lot. 

You look at Jooheon in confusion as he makes no move to turn into the chicken place you went to the night before. He lets out an airy chuckle before looking at you and flashing a smile. “I thought we might check out the 24 hour diner down here.” You give him a nod and tell him that you’ve been wanting to try it for a while, just haven’t gotten the chance. He opens the diner door for you and you smile and thank him as a bell rings out from above the door. You hear someone call out a welcome to you and you nod in their direction and mutter a thank you as Jooheon leads you to a booth in the back corner of the diner. The two of you sit and almost immediately an older woman stops at your table with some menus and a question of what you would like to drink. 

The table is silent as you both study the menu, deciding what your stomach is in the mood for. You end up choosing a cheeseburger, Jooheon choosing the same. “You know, we’ve never swapped numbers.” Jooheon’s voice is a slightly higher pitch than normal, but you’re certain you would be the only one that would notice something like that. You nod and emit a small laugh when he slides his phone across the table, the new contact screen already showing. You slide him your phone before adding yourself into his contacts. The conversation is more small talk, talking about how awful the shift was and singling out the kids whose behavior made them hard to forget. You can certainly feel the weight and bad vibe of the day slowly melt away throughout the dinner. The waitress comes back once you finish your food, taking your plates and asking if you would like any dessert. You quickly order a small bowl of ice cream, Jooheon deciding that he’s fine without dessert. 

Your ice cream doesn’t take long to make it back to the table, and a smile lights up your face as the waitress sets it down for you. Everything is silent as you enjoy your dessert until Jooheon’s voice grabs your attention. “Hey, hold still.” His arm reaches across the table and you feel his finger swipe at the corner of your lip. You can feel your breath hitch and it honestly feels like time has slowed. You watch as his eyes find yours and his arm retracts to his side of the table, his finger making its way to his mouth. You hold your breath as you watch him suck the ice cream off of his finger. You can feel your mouth dry at the action and while you clench your thighs together. Your eyes stay focused on each other for what feels like an eternity, before the waitress interrupts by asking if you needed anything else. Jooheon licks his lips before turning his attention to the older woman, flashing her a smile and asking for the check. It’s silent between you two as you wait to pay. You move to get your wallet, Jooheon only shaking his head when you try to hand him your share. 

Jooheon holds the diner door open for you, walking slightly faster than you to open the door of his car. You smile as you make your way to the car door. “Thank you for such a great date I didn’t even know I was having.” Your voice is light and you laugh at your joke and you see Jooheon’s cheeks turn slightly pink. As he moves to shut the door, you glance over his form, breath catching as you see the slight strain of his pants. You take a moment to take a deep breath as you clench your thighs with more force than the last time. Jooheon makes his way around the car, his pants clinging to his thighs in a way that has you clenching around nothing and you almost let out a moan. The car ride back is silent and not the comfortable kind, it’s full of tension and it is taking all of your control to drive back the want to grip his thighs at every stop. After what feels like forever, Jooheon finally pulls up beside your car. You know you should thank him and open the car door, but you can’t seem to make yourself move. You sit in silence for a few more minutes before Jooehon speaks. “Has it really not been obvious that I like you?” 

Your head snaps to face him, his expression serious. You stare at him for a moment before you realize that you should probably answer him, but your voice seems to not work so you settle for a shake of your head. He doesn’t say anything and you finally muster up the will to make yourself speak. “I-I really had no idea.” Your voice trails off into a whisper at the end as you struggle to keep eye contact. “After interview day, I had hoped I would see you again and when we found out we were partners, I was freaking out inside. I was excited to get to know you and by the end of last season, I was chin deep in feelings for you. I kicked myself for not getting your number last year and I hoped you would be back this year.” You’re barely breathing as you take in his words. He liked you. Jooheon. Jooheon liked you for as long as you liked him. Your mind was spinning, going back and forth between shock and happiness. It took you a few moments to realize that Jooheon had gone quite and you hadn’t responded. You rushed to let him know that you felt the same, your words coming out in a jumble. “Ireallylikeyoutoolikealot.” You mentally kicked yourself, knowing there was almost no way that he understood that. It’s clear by the way he looks at you, beaming smile, that lets you know that he understood. 

There is a period of nothing but staring, neither of you really knowing what to do. Over time, you both start slowly leaning towards each other, not moving at a hasty pace. Your lips finally touch and it almost takes your breath away. It’s very sweet as Jooheon brings his hand to rest on your cheek, thumb rubbing your cheek slowly. It quickly escalates from soft and sweet to heated as his tongue swipes your bottom lip in a silent plea for entrance, which you grant without hesitation. Your makeout session takes another turn as Jooheon places his hand on your waist, squeezing slightly. When you two finally break apart, your chests are heaving as you try to catch your breath. It’s silent for another beat before Jooheon asks if you want to come back to his apartment, which you quickly agree to. He gives you another slow kiss before starting his car and pulling out of the parking lot.

You can’t give an accurate estimate at how far away Jooheon’s apartment is. It feels like days since you left the mall parking lot and Jooheon’s hand rubbing your thigh isn’t making it go any faster. His slow movement and the fact that his hand occasionally dips closer to your needy core seems to make it only drag on. The slow and sensual music on the radio making it even worse, though it does remind you to ask Jooheon about the artist. Jooheon finally pulls the car into a parking spot in front of his apartment building, not hesitating to immediately make his way out and around the car to open your door. His hand finds yours immediately and he tugs you along behind him. 

As soon as you’re in his apartment and his door is closed, your back is pushed up against it, Jooheon’s lips on yours. His hands find purchase on your waist as yours rest on his abdomen. You can feel the muscle underneath your hands and you let out a moan as you run your fingers over his defined abs. You can feel his body tense and shiver as you move your hands over his stomach. His lips make their way down your jaw and onto your neck, finding your sensitive spot almost immediately. When you let out a gasp, you feel him smirk against your neck as he continues to suckle on your neck and you just know you’ll have a mark the next day. His hands slide down to rest on your ass, squeezing and placing a small smack, causing you to let out another moan. He pulls back, lips pink and pupils blown. You’re trying to catch your breath when he takes your hand again and leads you to his bedroom. 

Neither of you bother shutting the bedroom door, making your way straight to his bed. He pulls you around in front of him, kissing you slowly as he leans you back to lay on the bed. When your back meets the bed, he climbs over you making sure to rest most of his weight on his arm while the other hand makes its way to cup your face. His lips slowly make their way down your neck before he leaves a little bite and the junction of your neck and shoulder and his tongue darts out to swipe over the spot. He leans back, resting on his knees as his hands make their way to the hem of your shirt. He looks at you with a quirked eyebrow and you nod, giving him permission. He teases as he slowly removes your shirt, bending down to litter your stomach with kisses. He moves up your body as your shirt moves higher, making sure not to leave a single spot untouched. His hands move to unclasp your bra as soon as the shirt is tossed on the floor. His mouth finds your hardened bud, tongue swirling as his other hand moves to the other breast. You let out a whimper as he begins to roll your other nipple between his thumb and forefinger. 

He brings his mouth back to your lips, placing a quick peck on your lips as his hands make their way to the waistband of your leggings. You hold your breath as his hands move slowly down your body, his eyes fixed on your face. He grips your leggings and slowly pulls them down your body, lips ghosting over the newly exposed skin. After kissing his way back up your legs, making sure to pay special attention to the inside of your thighs, he sits back up and moves to set up against his headboard. You whine at his absence, his teasing and attention to your body having your underwear soaked. “I noticed you looking at my thighs in the car, baby. Why don’t you come up here and have a seat for me.” His voice is dripping with lust and though you didn’t think you could get wetter, you feel your juices running down your thighs. You slowly roll yourself onto your stomach, making sure to stick your ass in the air as you crawl over to his leg. You make sure to maintain eye contact as you straddle his thigh, slowly lowering yourself down. You immediately get a rush of pleasure as soon as your core makes contact with this cloth clad thigh. He lets out a groan, letting you know he can feel how wet you are. He moves his hands to your ass, giving you a slight push causing you to glide across his thigh. You let out a loud moan at the friction, hands immediately coming up to grab your breast. You open your eyes to find Jooheon’s eyes fixated on you, teeth sinking into his lower lip. 

You move your hips slowly, dragging out your pleasure. Jooheon watches you with black pupils as he gives you a push every now and then. You can feel your orgasm slowly building and your increase your pace slightly, making no move to hide the moans falling from your mouth. All at once your feel the tightening of your climax speedily increasing and your grip Jooheon’s shoulders as you lose yourself in the feeling of his thigh on your clit. When the band finally snaps, your nails dig into his shoulders and you let out a loud whine. You feel Jooheon tense underneath you as his nails dig into your ass.

He quickly lifts you off of his thigh, placing you softly on the bed beside him.He quickly removes his clothes and you’re struck by just how gorgeous he is. You let your eyes scan his form as he removes his underwear, dick slightly slapping his stomach and you feel your mouth water at the sight. You get rid of your underwear, tossing them somewhere on the floor as you start to crawl toward him. You reach for his cock, wrapping your hand around him and giving him a slow tug. He moans a higher pitched moan and you can feel yourself clench around nothing at the sound. You move to slide your hand again before his hand wraps around yours. “Normally I would spend hours getting each other worked up, but I’ve thought about this for a while. Baby, I need you right now.” You chuckle a little bit as his flustered honesty, moving yourself to lie back down, legs spread for Jooheon to see your dripping pussy. He groans as he reaches to the drawer beside his bed and grabs a condom, ripping into the foil immediately and rolling it on himself. He looks at you with a questioning look and you know he’s giving you a chance to stop this. You response is a hand sliding down your body and dipping your finger into your entrance. You give him a come hither motion and he whines and moves forward and lines himself up with your hole. You bring your finger up, still glistening with your juices and tap his lips lightly. He eagerly opens, taking your finger into his mouth without hesitation and lets out a deep groan of appreciation at your taste.

He thrusts into you without warning, causing you to let out a gasp as you cling to his shoulders. He leans forward to bury his face in your neck, biting a little harder than before. You reach down and dig your nails into his ass, letting him know to move. He leans up from your neck, giving you a deep kiss as he pulls almost completely out of you before thrusting himself back into your core. His thrusts are soft but hit deep and you can’t help the guttural moan you let out as he quickly finds the spot inside of you that has your vision fuzzy. He realizes he’s found your sweet spot and he makes sure to hit it with every thrust. He moves his hand to play with your clit, thrusts speeding up. His fingers seem to work magic as you feel your second climax quickly approaching. Jooheon’s thrusts get sloppy as he increases pressure on your clit and within seconds you're letting go for the second time, quickly followed by a whine from Jooheon as his hips still. 

His body slumps on yours for a few moments before he leans up and gives you a soft kiss, pulling his length out of you before removing the latex from himself and tying a knot throwing it in the small can in the bathroom. He returns with a warm washcloth and he gently wipes you down, ridding you of all the dried fluid. He throws on a pair of sweatpants on himself and tugs open a drawer and pulls out a large tee and hands it to you along with placing a kiss on your temple. Out of nowhere the thought of the music from the car pops into her mind. “Oh hey. Who were you listening to in the car?” He turns to you, tips of his ears red. “Oh. Um. That was me. I play around with music in my free time.” It hits you why the voice felt comfortable and you smile wide. “It’s really good. I like it alot.” You let out a giggle as his gives you an embarrassed thanks, cheeks heating up with pink. “Do you maybe wanna stay the night and watch a movie? I can run you to get your car so it’s not in the lot all night.” You give a smile and nod your head. “I do have one condition though.” He looks at you with a confused look. “We are absolutely not watching anything that evolves elves.” He laughs and nods as he crawls into his bed and wrapping his arms around you. “No elves. You got it.”

[atsukashii]

❝devils advocate❞ // k. bakugou

SYNOPSIS: ➛ In a world of guardian angels, somehow, you got stuck with a guardian demon who is too hot for his own good. 

» CHARACTER PAIRING: demon!Katsuki Bakugou x human!reader

» WORD COUNT: 5.1K

» GENRE: demon x human au, guardian demon au

» WARNINGS: 16+; mentions of death (non-character related), blood, swearing & fluff

« masterlist || ao3 »

Everyone on earth had a guardian angel. Guardian angels watched out for you, protecting you until it was eventually your time to pass on. You couldn’t see them, but you would meet them twice within your life. First, when you were born - a memory that would always remain as if had been engraved into your soul, and then again when you died. There had never been a recorded case of someone not having a guardian angel, until you. Your parents had taken you to a doctor once they had become aware of it, thinking something was very wrong. However, the doctor quickly deduced that you were either lying or just simply didn’t remember. Because everyone had one, but somehow you didn’t have one. 

You were nine years old when Katuki Bakugou saved your life. 

You had been walking home from a dinner reservation with your parents, full-bellied, and full of smiles when the unthinkable happened. What was a shadow on the wall, emerged a man who struck down your parents with only a few swift blows. Knocked to the ground, you stared at the puddle of blood slowly making its way towards you, then to the crimson liquid that splattered from the killer’s brutal swing of his blade. It was on your hands, your clothes, everywhere. You don’t remember much of what he had said back then, but you remembered the way the moonlight glinted off his silver blade, as he rose it over his head - his intention to make you his next victim, only for him to never have the chance to even bring the weapon down. The killer just...evaporated into a bloody mist. You remembered how the air around you seemed to tense, the smell of electricity entering your nose as you looked upon this new stranger who had appeared from literally nowhere and had saved your life. 

You didn’t know much about guardian angels but you knew they were meant to have wings of white feathers. This...thing didn’t. Instead, his wings were jet black, dark membrane that resembled the wings of a bat, but with razor-sharp a looking talon’s on the top of each wing. They were utter terrifying. 

He stared at you for a moment and just watched, his red eyes glowing in the dark alley. Dressed from head to toe in black, it was a stark contrast to his ash blonde hair, but it was his eyes - that crimson gaze that once turned on you, your body had trembled in fear. He had walked towards you, so menacingly that you had scrambled away until your back met the wall of the alleyway.

“P-please, don’t kill me. I’m sorry, p-p-please…” you had cried and begged, your voice weak and quiet. You were just a kid and maybe that was why he had spared you that day. Instead of misting you like he had the other guy. Your eyes moved from him to your parents, still on the floor of the alleyway and you couldn’t stop the tears from running down your face. A cold hand met your face, turning your head from the sight and made your eyes meet his crimson gaze. His eyes glowed in the darkness whilst also seeming to suck you in as he searched for something. Letting out a scoff at whatever it was he found, he dropped his hand from your face and glared at you.

“No guardian huh?” Your heart stopped inside your chest for the millionth time that night. How had he known? “Listen up kid, from now on you’re under my protection. Nothings going to happen to you. Now get the fuck up,” And so far, he had been true to his word. 

Katsuki Bakugou wasn’t an angel, he was a demon. Something you hadn’t realised was real until that day, but if guardian angels were, it made sense that they were too. And for some reason, Katsuki had made it his mission to be your guardian...of sorts. He seemed to step into your life whenever he chose and took advantage of the fact that no one else could see him or hear him, a lot. He was a sarcastic asshole ninety percent of the time, and the other ten percent was when he went lethal and became death incarnate. He revelled in the fact that he was a major pain in the ass and liked to be the vaguest creature on the planet, dodging all your questions about him and demons in general. But over time, you’d gotten somewhat used to it. When you were younger, he was around sparingly, but once you had moved out of your grandparent’s house and into a boarding school, his appearances became more frequent, until he was spending almost every day with you. You both loved it and hated it. He could be nice, but it was rare, and instead had decided to hang around frequently purely to annoy the crap out of you. He would spend a lot of time just hanging out with you in your dorm room doing incredibly mundane things, and acting like he despised every second of it and had better things to do - yet never actually made a move to leave.

And today was no different. You are supposed to be doing your homework as you’ve got exams soon and should really be paying attention as you’re in your final year of high school. Graduation was so close you can almost taste it, and then you wouldn’t have to see anyone from this pompous and obnoxious school ever again. But the weather outside was dreary and the rain and could cover had motivated you not to do school work, but instead to get out your notebook and draw. So you sit at your desk, music playing from your phone, softly flowing through the room as you for the millionth time, trace a familiar shaped eye. You weren’t sure when you had first started drawing Katsuki, but whenever you sat down with something in your hand, purposely to draw - he tended to be the first thing that came out.  A familiar scent of a thunderstorm floods the room and you feel yourself relax in your chair as loud swearing breaks the peaceful quiet. 

“Hey idiot, clean up your damn room. You can barely see the fucking floor!” Looking over your shoulder to the blonde, you drop your eyes to the small pile of washing on the floor and roll your eyes. So dramatic. You ignore the remark and turn back to your drawing, not caring if he sees what you’re doing - he was already past the point of teasing you and now just critiques your work. “I ain’t fucking ugly!’ was his favourite retort about your drawings. You hear Katsuki walk over towards you, looking over your shoulder to the sketchbook on your desk, and then shifting to the unfinished homework in the corner. He scoffs at your antics, but can’t be surprised as you handing in uncompleted homework is a common thing at this school. You weren’t exactly the star pupil.

“Do your fucking homework y/n.” he badgers you. He constantly nags you over the most trivial things, like making sure you’re eating, getting out of bed on days when you just want to sleep through the whole day. For someone who can strike the fear of death into the hearts of grown-ass men, he sure acts like a mother hen a lot of the time.

“It’s just math stuff… I’ll do it later. And besides, my teacher has it out for me I swear.” You defend, but he just scoffs like he doesn’t believe you and sits on the edge of your bed. It’s then that you notice the plastic bag in his hands. Raising your eyebrows, spin your chair towards him, and hold out your hands.

“What did you get this time?” You ask, giddy at the surprise dinner that happens most nights because you don’t want to face your classmates in the communal kitchen. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know. You ain’t getting any idiot until you fucking start your homework.” Katsuki growls, pulling a plastic bowl from the bag and the smell of Italian food makes your stomach rumble. You glare at the blonde, knowing well how this is going to play out. 

“You would deny me sustenance that I need to make my brain work out of pure spite?” You ask. The demon’s eyes swirl with amusement and you know that you’re winning. 

“Don’t you use that fucking pity card with me.” He says, standing up to his full height and placing the bowl on your desk. “Eat, then do your fucking work idiot,” Katsuki grumbles, giving in easily before falling back onto your bed and opening his own food. You grab the plastic utensils and practically dive into the ravioli. The creamy flavour bursting on your tongue if so rich you groan. 

“Where did you get this?” You ask, and the look Katsuki gives you - you can basically hear his response in your own mind. Where do you think I got it, idiot? With his ability to slip into shadows, your guardian demon also has a knack for travelling to other sides of the world in seconds, just for food. You have knickknacks from around the world in your dorm room from when he travels and you convince him to buy you something small. He’s got a dark sense of humour, so a lot of the things can be kinda creepy or just plain stupid, but you don’t mind. The fact that he brings you something is enough. You had a feeling he had once again, slipped into shadows and gotten tonight's dinner freshly from the homeland of pasta, and you wonder if he somehow knew you were craving Italian food.  You both eat in silence before something on your desk catches Katsuki’s eye, and he can’t help but open his mouth. 

“What the hell is that?” you follow his gaze to the partially scrunched up flyer sitting on top of your school books and sigh.

“A flyer for the school dance on Friday.” You say, shoving ravioli into your mouth so you don’t have to keep talking about it. You don’t really have a lot of friends, its a fact that you’re not embarrassed about. It was just the fact that you didn’t have a guardian angel had gotten you teased when you were younger, and add on top of that what happened to your parents - people thought you were bad luck and tended to stay far from you. But today, something had changed. 

“And you’re going to go to that fuck fest?” Your food gets caught in your throat and you momentarily choke from his words. He has no filter. Your eyes water as you drink from your water bottle, you look at Katsuki whos watching you with his regular frown. Not even concerned in the slightest that you were just choking.

“No, I don’t think so…” You manage to get out, putting the lid back on your now-empty food bowl and pushing it to the corner of your desk. You can feel his glare at the back of your head as you hesitate to grab your books, but like usual, the demon wins and you grab your homework. You don’t have to look at him to know that he’s smirking at you. Him and his stupid smug face. Opening your books, you let out a sigh at the work. Katsuki has an unnerving ability to see straight through you, so you’re not surprised when he suddenly snaps at you.

“What the fuck do you mean, ‘i don’t think so’?” he growls and you just shrug.

“I was asked.” You suddenly blurt out, your cheeks pink as you recall the awkward conversation earlier that day between you and a guy in your class. Because you didn’t really have a lot of friends at school, when you were asked by one of the most attractive guys in your grade, to say you were surprised was an understatement.

The demon just blinks at you, shock actually evident on his face, which is a first. He hides a lot of his emotions from you, basically everything other than anger and annoyance, and somewhat amusement. 

“Someone asked you?” Katsuki grumbles, and something in his tone annoys you. He says it as if the thought of someone asking you was so unthinkable, and that hurt. Turning towards him, you give him a proper glare that has him stilling - not out fear because you’re you, and he is a demon - but just interest. He knows he’s annoyed you, it’s something he does a lot - but this time he’s properly pissed you off. 

“Is that so hard to imagine?” you snarl at the blonde. If he’s taken back by your pissed off tone, he doesn’t let it show. 

“Didn’t mean it like that idiot. I only meant that you don’t really hang out with a lot of people.” He was digging himself a deeper hole. “And why the fuck would you want to go anyways? I don’t.”

“That’s because you’re a demon and ‘mundane shit is beneath you,’” you quote the words he has used against you multiple times before. You don’t give him a chance to respond before you go off again. “And I want to go because I feel like I’m missing out on some big thing in the whole ‘high school experience’ if I don’t. I didn’t get the stereotypical school adventure that other people seem to get. I didn’t go to parties or sports events. So I’m going to this dance because someone asked me, and if you’ve got a problem with that you can leave.” You’re breathing hard when you finish, glaring with everything in you at him. He simply scoffs at you and gets up from your bed.

“Whatever. Go to the fucking dance, I’ve got shit to do.” for a moment your heart lurches in your chest as he moves away from you and towards the door as if he’s actually going to use it. The thought of him leaving always makes you feel uneasy for reasons you can’t really explain, maybe you’ve just got some weird separation anxiety from him seeing as he’s always around. 

“Katsuki-” His eyes are on yours as he steps into a shadow and then he’s gone. You let out a sigh and turn back to your desk, looking at your drawing book still open, his eyes in monochrome staring back at you. You close the book harshly and lean back on your chair. 

Why is he such an asshole?

❀ ❀ ❀

Friday comes around quickly but doesn’t go the way you were expecting it to. The dance begins at seven, yet here you are at half-past, sitting on your bed. You’d scrambled to find a dress and even put on makeup, and it was all for fucking nothing. Because you have been stood up. The whole thing was a damned joke, he never wanted to take you. You’re eyes sting and you quickly sniff - no I will not let this mediocre, insignificant guy ruin my damn makeup! you coach yourself, trying not to let it hurt as much as it does. You reach up to rub your nose until suddenly, striding out of nowhere like he owns the place, Katsuki appears in your room. You hadn’t seen him since he walked out on you two days ago. At first, you were pissed because you were his friend and he was being petty. But then, you’d missed him, a lot. You’d missed him lecturing you on your untidy room, you’d missed him when you had to walk to the food court for dinner, you had missed his smug face when he would catch you looking at him when you were reading and he was sitting doing god knows what. You had just missed his presence a lot, and that made you realise that you really liked this demon that had come into your life in the worst of times, yet somehow made it a whole lot better.

You’re about to question what the heck he’s doing here when he stops in his spot and looks over you. The red dress a now waste of money, along with the heels on your feet. It was all for nothing. “Aren’t you supposed to be at some dance right now?” He asks, his voice low and dangerous as he slowly puts things together. He probably already knows what’s happened just by looking at you, he’s too intelligent not to.

“I got stood up.” You explain embarrassed. You should have listened to Katsuki when he said it was a bad idea. Something deadly flickers to life in his vermilion gaze, and he suddenly spins, stalking for the door with a lithe swiftness that you know means he’s about to go and cause someone grievous bodily harm. Nope nope nope, that’s not happening. “It’s fine, Katsuki. Really.” Your words make him stop in his spot, and he turns half towards you, searching your face. “It was stupid to want to go anyways. You were right, it was a waste.”

“No it’s fucking not.” He hisses, pure rage radiating off him pulses. Closing his eyes, he lets out a sharp breath where you could have sworn you actually saw steam come from his nose. But then he looks you over once more, taking in the rare appearance of you in a dress. Thinking back on it, there’s a high chance that he’s never seen you in one, as you normally opt for shorts or jeans. 

“Fuck this.” Katsuki sighs. He snaps his fingers and in the blink of an eye, his jeans and tee shirt are swapped for slacks and a button-up. Still pitch black in classic Katsuki fashion and his hair is still a mess but he’s dressed up and you can’t help but admit that he looks really handsome. You stare at him, processing the action for a moment.  He looks so different. His wings are gone, you didn’t even know he could do that, heck you didn’t know he could snap his fingers and bam! If you didn’t already know he was a demon and you wanted to die, you’d tease him about how fairy-like that was. But again, you value your life. 

It’s odd though, to see him without his wings. He almost looks like a regular person, but there is something about him, that makes him look like something more than human. Maybe it’s the sharp jaw or the piercing eyes, you weren’t sure - but there’s something other-worldly that he couldn’t seem to contain.

“Get off your ass.” His voice interrupts your thoughts, and you stare at him as he stands with his hand on the door handle holding it open. Shifting your gaze between the open doorway and him, you glance up at his face and at his serious expression. He’s not joking, he’s going to the dance. For you, with you, so you can go and won’t be alone.

You can’t contain your smile as you stand up and practically skip to the doorway. Happiness bubbling inside you and you want to grin, but for his sake, you calm it down and settle on a small smile. He rolls his eyes and offers you his arm. He’s full of surprises tonight, you think as you take it.

He doesn’t make a single grumble or comment as you head to the school gymnasium, and you hold your tongue as he hands the person at the door two tickets. How the hell did he even get those? The student collecting tickets eyes you both as you walk inside. It’s so cringe and everything you pictured it would be, and you can’t help but grin. Streamers dangle from the roof, white table cloths and balloons cover the tables, dim lighting and somewhat loud music - its perfect. You look to Katsuki who is eyeing your smile with raised eyebrows. I can’t believe you like this shit, he seems to say, but from the small smile on his face you know he’s amused by you.

“Come on idiot, let’s go.” As you walk through the throngs of people towards a table, you feel their eyes sticking to you like glue, shocked to see you here. And it’s then that you realise that other people can see him - you didn’t even know that was possible.

“I didn’t know you could make yourself be seen by people.” You mutter to him. Katsuki scoffs at you and gives you his typical ‘you’re an idiot’ expression.

“Of course I can, how the fuck do you think I saved your life dumbass?” He says, mentioning when you had first met and he… Okay, that makes sense. But he’s never done this before, he’s never let himself be seen by other people, he’s never changed his appearance like this either… You come to the realisation just how big of a deal this is for him, and you squeeze his arm in thanks. He flexes his arm under your touch and you know that’s his version of telling you it wasn’t a big deal. 

You two spend the rest of the night laughing as Katsuki rips into other people and making up random crap about them just to make you laugh. His attempt to cheer you up isn’t missed by you, and you’re so grateful that he’s trying. People glance at you both every so often, wondering just who he is, but no one has approached to ask - however, that’s most likely due to the vicious glare that Katsuki drills into anyone that comes too close to your table. But you’re thankful for the fact that its just the two of you. 

The music switches to something slow and you can’t help but eye the people coupling off in the middle of the gymnasium floor. Looking quickly at Katsuki who looks too good to be true in the blue lighting, you suck in a breath and prepare yourself. Ignoring the sudden nervous rollercoaster-worthy butterflies springing to life in your stomach, you stand from your chair and shove your hand towards your guardian demon. 

“Dance with me.” You try to say with confidence. Katsuki’s lips tick up ever so slightly at your lame attempt of assurance.

“I ain’t dancing with you, idiot.” He says, leaning back in his chair and pretending to get comfortable. Maybe if you didn’t know him any better you would have thought he was serious, and that dancing was his limit. But you had known Katsuki for years and spent more time with him then you had with anyone ever. You knew him, and he knew you. And you knew that although it would probably earn you grumbling, groaning and eternal complaints, he would do it. 

“Please…” With an over-dramatic groan, Katsuki raises from his chair and takes your hand. Your cheeks instantly warm at the contact, and your heart jumps to your throat as he leads you from the table. It’s not the first time he’s touched you, he’s held you before on sleepless nights where you’ve woken up from nightmares of your parents and sat with you tucked into his side until you can determine what’s real and what’s not. But this time, it’s different; you realise you want him to hold your hand. You want him to tuck you into his chest and hold you - and you want him to want too as well. He guides you out to the crowd of people and walks you right to the middle before placing his warm hands on your hips, pulling you towards him. Your arms brace yourself on his chest as you crash into him, and he grins wildly at your blushing face. 

You sway side to side, ignoring everyone else in the room as you look up to him. Not in a million years did you ever think you would find yourself here, but it was harder to wrap your head around the fact that it was with Katsuki, the demon that had taken it upon himself to look out for you.

“Why are you doing this for me?” You have to ask. You have to know if he feels the same way as you. Because if he doesn’t then you’ve got to draw some sort of lines, because your heart won’t be able to take it - no matter how much it will hurt to separate yourself from him. 

His vermillion eyes stare into yours, and you feel yourself being slightly sucked in. He had told you at first that it was a demon thing, but maybe it’s just a Katsuki thing. They glinted like rubies when the lights hit them, and as much as he would hate you saying it - he was very pretty. 

“Because I didn’t want you to miss out on something that obviously meant so much to you dumbass.” Alright, that was a logical answer. But there was something more than he was withholding from you, you knew it. 

“Please…” the whisper left your mouth, and if he didn’t have enhanced hearing, you knew he wouldn’t have been able to hear it. Tearing his gaze from you, your eyes settled on his throat just in time to see him swallow nervously. Surely not. You couldn’t even remember a time when you had ever seen him anything other than confident. 

“When I first found you, I had no idea where I was or what I was doing. Something pulled me to that alleyway that night and I still don’t know what or why. Once I saw what was going on, I was going to leave you there.” his admission rocks you, and instinctively try to step back, but his arms tighten around you - locking you in place and keeping you close to him. “And then I saw your parents, and you on the floor and I had to do something.” He sighs, hanging his head slightly so you can hear him better. “There are laws, even for my kind, that we have to follow. And that day, I broke a lot of them - and have continued to do so every day since then.” He says, his explanation surprising you. He doesn’t really talk about his private life, and or what really goes on with demons. So him even telling you this, its a lot. He moves slightly, now looking into your eyes with complete severity and something else in his gaze that traps the air inside your lungs. 

“I can’t explain what I’m doing, because I don’t even fucking know. But I know one thing, and that’s the fact I want to be around you all the damn time, and if I’m not with you, I’m thinking about you and it drives me fucking crazy.” his hands tighten on your hips as if trying to tether you to this moment for as long as he can. Because with his revelations, your brain is threatening to float away but you force yourself to stay grounded to hear the words you’ve wanted to hear for so long.

“All I want is you, dumbass.” Holy shit. Katsuki is smiling softly down at you, and you honestly can’t believe what’s currently happening, but you honestly know if you don’t kiss him now you will spontaneously combust.

You don’t even give him a chance to breathe before you grab his cheeks, raising on your toes and crush his lips to yours. You feel him tense beneath your hands and for a split second, you think shitshitshitshit and try to pull away. Then in a movement too fast to be natural, a hand moves to the back of your head, tangling itself in your hair as he deepens the kiss, and proceeding to make your legs turn into noodles. You should probably care that you’re in the middle of a high school dance right now, but you can’t bring yourself to. All you care about is the demon currently stealing the breath from your lungs and making butterflies swarm your stomach in a mad panic. Your lips separate by just a few inches, and you finally breathe again, unsure as to if you’re lightheaded from the lack of oxygen or the kiss, but you have a feeling its both. The smug smile that tugs at Katsuki’s mouth make you think its probably the latter. 

“Um, I...” You want to say something other than that, but your brain and mouth are no longer working together, so you momentarily stand there like a moron, which makes the guy in front of you smug as hell. 

“If I knew that’s what it took to shut you up, I would have done that a long time ago.” Katsuki grins another feral smile and you can’t stop the laughter that bubbles from your lips. Your face floods with embarrassment over your lack of motor skills and you lean your forehead against his chest. The sound of his pounding heart makes you grin too, knowing that you’re not the only one affected by this new massive thing in your life. Katsuki’s hand brushes your head softly and you close your eyes, just letting yourself sway along with him to the music. You realise that the argument you had earlier in the week wasn’t about the dance, but someone taking you to the dance… and of course, he couldn’t come to that conclusion and asked you himself because he’s too stubborn and is a demon… He’s a demon, the reality jumps around your brain, and you try to find the problem with the statement, but you can’t. Not when he is who he is. 

“This is going to be complicated, isn’t it?” You ask against his chest. 

“I’m not going to lie to you, it’s not going to be easy. There’s so much I need to tell you,” Looking up at him, he lets you see the insecurity surrounding your response, something he wouldn’t let anyone normally see. Did he honestly think that you were going to leave now? After all of that?

“Nothing in my life has ever really been easy,” you point out, unable to hide your smile once again. “So I’m not surprised that anything surrounding you would be anything but.” Any hesitation he had is gone as he leans his forehead against yours, a sigh slipping from his lips. You can’t hold the words in, and for once, they come out with such conviction, it leaves no room for doubt. 

“I love you Katsuki,” His eyes are closed, but his smile is wide, and you can see the happiness in his features. 

“Thank you y/n.” Unsure as to why exactly he’s thanking you, you tighten your arms around him and this time he places a gentle kiss to your lips. “I love you too, y/n.” You revel in the words, closing your eyes and swaying along to the music. 

Katsuki Bakugou was a demon who had saved your life when you were nine years old, and you were stupidly, irrevocably in love with him, and that would never change. 

©️ 2021 all rights reserved to atsukashii, do not change, edit, translate, or repost any works on any platform.

[omisbreakfast]

i rank every summer outfits from a3! because??

because i can. also fuck you.

the first version of this was deleted by tumblr in my drafts and now i have to re write it entirely and i fucking hate it here... anyways.

i’m biased as fuck

sorry it’s a long post

harugumi :

itaru : yeah no actually it’s pretty fine. ngl itaru is kinda hot when he dress correctly so there’s that. also, he’s often in pink. it suits him, but i don’t like it. still.... cute. but it’s also itaru so not too much praises. 9/10

citron : why.......... the shoes.... what the fuck are those shoes.... where did you even find them..... do you wanna fight or something.... this fills me with rage... you’ve disappointed me, citron... also hate the shirt. 3/10

tsuzuru : casual, soft, classic boy... nothing much to say here. but WHY THE FUCKING HAT??? IT RUINS EVERYTHING...... at least wear it correctly PLEASE. YOU DUMABSS. and the shoes would have been better in another color. i just,,,,, why tsuzuru, why the hat... 4/10

sakuya : i can’t bring myself to say bad things about sakuya. (also the fact that i don’t remember what i wrote before the first version of this post got deleted in my drafts pisses me off) but like,,, he’s cute. i mean it’s a classic outfit. tho the choice of the shirt is questionable as fuck. also HES SO TINY BABY. 6/10

masumi : yeah no actually i like it. i really like the shirt for some reason, it suits him. BUT BUT BUT the pants looks weird as hell LMAO?? like... it makes him looks like a crotch less ken doll??? it’s,,, really weird. also the shoes are.... hmmm.... overall good balance but there’s some weird stuffs going on. 7/10

chikage : garbage boy stink man. fucking looks like a rich white boy coming home from tennis and i fucking hate it here ™ if i’m objective about this it’s actually NOT bad but it loses several points for the sole reason that it’s fucking chikage and i won’t take shit for it. 6/10

natsugumi :

kazunari : why. why do you do this. why. why. how am i supposed to ever learn how to love when you backstab me like this, kaz ? what do we do now ? i trusted you and you betrayed me. i can never find love ever again............ yeah ok. pls let’s skip to the next one.... 2/10 (and two points is because it’s kaz and i just can’t bring myself to truly hate him.)

yuki : it’s not bad but i hate this dress. like. his outfits are usually ok but this? no. YOU LOOK LIKE A GOOD CHRISTIAN BOY, DAMN IT YUKI. are YOU GOING TO CHURCH TO PRAISE THE LORD TODAY TOO? also the colour of it... no. 4/10

tenma : congrats you rich boy you finally have a decent outfit ! though i don’t understand the concept of your zip being infront but ok. bet his stans like it smh. also i like the color of his jacket. very nice. 8/10

muku : baby i love u so much but u look like the pinterest girls who take aesthetic pictures in flowers fields and are smiling like the sun @ the camera.......... which is not per se but it’s a whole vibe. also stop wearing orange. it doesn’t go with your hair well........ ilu cutie. 8/10

misumi : my sweet boy. why are you wearing an hoodie with a jacket. why. it’s summer you idiot. you’ll get overheated. stop. but overall he looks very nice. idk i just think he’s neat......... i. i love u @ misumi. 9/10 (don’t look at me)

kumon : he... he looks like.... a j-j-j*ck..... which he is............... i just........... oh my god. i love kumon but he IS a jock i JUST ???? LALFKGKK. also his fucking shoes makes me lose my mind because this is so fucking bullshit ???? so ugly it hurts my eyes.... he’s lucky he’s a good boy. 4/10

akigumi :

juza : nah he hot as hell in this pass on it. if you’re asking yourself why he looks so good, here’s your answer : his arms. his arms are great. i can excuse his sandales this time cuz IT IS summer but yeah. yeah no he’s cute and- yeah. ok. yeah. hm hm. 9.5/10

taichi : so the thing with taichi is that his style is NOT bad per se but like. he’s a skater boy. so my standards are already very low for him,,,, like no offence i love taichi so much but,,,, that’s how it be.... his shirts are usually so big he looks like a GOD DAMN FLAG i can’t with this. and i don’t like how baggy his pants are but yeah,,,, it’s just a whole look.... anyways................ 6/10

omi : in which yosei boys decided to fucking test my patience by putting on classic, good looking clothes and decided to absolutely ruin my entire hopes and dreams (if i’m being dramatic ? no i am not.) AND their WHOLE outfits adding an useless stupid fucking hat thay doesnt seems even to be worn properly. omi, tsuzuru, you’ll pay for this. 7/10

sakyo : (i’m tired as heck and i almost forgot about sakyo when he’s right in the middle) actually i like this. it’s color coordinated and i think that’s very nice. but i wish his pants would have been a little bit longer. yeah no that’s it for real. also idk what’s about this outfit but he really shows how skinny he really is LMAOOO. shithead sakyo. 8/10

azami : the thing about azami is that usually his upper half is pretty well dressed, or whatever, but when we look at his pants/shoes its where everything goes to shit. Like ???? what the fuck man you could have done so much better if you didn’t decide to put this gigantic pants who looks like you’re gonna fly with it or fucking whatever (i don’t need to make sense i’m TIRED) also his shoes bothers me. can’t believe he’s fucking 15 like shut up. 6/10

banri : ...... *inhales* FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUU. fuck you and your ugly ass little hat and your zombie like haircut i. fucking despise you. if he were standing right infront of me, no he wouldn’t be because he would deck him so hard. YOU HAVE THE MONEY TO BUY CLOTHES AND THE TIME TO TRY AND MAKE IT LOOK GOOD ?? SO WHY???? what’s going on in your ugly ass little head bitch. THANK YOU god he isn’t wearing any animal prints in this, thats one thing. imagine this awful outfit with the ugly shoes and stUPID FUCKING HAT that i hate, with a leopard print shirt.... yeah cursed. i know. sorry banri stans i cant hear you over the sound of your man fishing with joe and bertrand on a sunday morning at 6am. 3/10

fuyugumi :

tasuku : ... idk man. he’s just there. why is... his shoes... so flashy........ bruh...... also he looks like a very straight man and idk how to feel about this. we know u gay bitch. 7/10

hisoka : except for the fucking weird ass pants it’s actually ok. he looks.... very comfy. 10/10 would CUDDLE...... pls hisoka.... i’m tired... fluffy boy..... ugh..... i don’t have much to say about this ok he just.... spare some cuddles. 7/10

actually i like it. well. there’s two things that bothers me. GREEN. DOESN’T. SUIT. HIM. PERIOD. if u think otherwise i’m sorry. it’s just awful with his purple hair (or whatever color it is) imo. and the second..... the square should have been a triangle. i won’t take no’s. 8.5/10

tsumugi : ngl tsumugi gives me little lost boy looking for his mommy vibes. at first i thought it was his outfits but no, it’s just his face. and this ? doesn’t make it better. idk how to explain but how he wears his shirt makes it look like he’s floating and it’s kinda cute in a... special way. he’s just a very sweet boy. 7/10

azuma : i can’t bring myself to even say bad things about azuma... it’s physical. i just can’t. i have a theory his power is that strong and therefore i cannot critizice this beauty. he just. is. ya know........ sigh...... 9/10

guy : if he dresses like this, that’s.... that’s not your man, ladies. that’s your loving, hardworking and dedicated husband who just went to pick some flowers in the prairies next to your little farm in the middle of the nowhere but who’s still paradise on earth cuz it’s the two of you and you couldn’t ask for anything more. deadass. fucking peasants. 4/10

[ambeauty]

I posted 812 times in 2021

11 posts created (1%)

801 posts reblogged (99%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 72.8 posts.

I added 103 tags in 2021

#dickkory - 28 posts

#dc titans - 17 posts

#titans fic - 11 posts

#zendaya - 10 posts

#koriand'r - 8 posts

#dick grayson - 6 posts

#titans season 3 - 6 posts

#my bbs - 6 posts

#kory anders - 6 posts

#bamon - 5 posts

Longest Tag: 70 characters

#i hate everyone responsible from promotion and production of this show

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Not Brenton roping me back into this show again with that 10 minute interview 😩

19 notes • Posted 2021-10-28 22:39:15 GMT

#4

Can we start a petition that no scenes with Black people or any POC get shot as a plot device to get to some revelations get approved? It’s not necessary and its traumatic! Find a new way to be creative and push your plots forward. We are so tired 😒

21 notes • Posted 2021-10-07 12:15:42 GMT

#3

I know we are down bad as DK fandom when them both getting shot in the same episode is a crumb! 😫 They been going through the same shit for 11 episodes and haven’t spoken a word about it. I’m not holding my breath 😭

27 notes • Posted 2021-10-08 01:50:19 GMT

#2

Friend U Can Keep

This is a mini fic based on the Kitchen Moment in Season 3 of DC Titans. Based on this song (F.U.C.K. By Victoria Monet) and Brenton’s dumb ass quote of Dick and Kory being “co-workers”.

*Kory’s POV*

Kory walks into the kitchen and notices Dick’s all black suit first and is immediately taken back by how good he looks dressed up for once. The wrinkled button ups and chinos get real boring, not that he was dressing for her viewing pleasure anyway. Instead of commenting on his physical appearance she brings up the reminder that he is going to a gala right? So why is he stuffing his face? She swears ever since they got to Gotham, Dick has been bulking but in the best way. Ok she should really stop objectifying him, but she can’t help it. He’s just so pretty. She knows they are just coworkers and friends when he’s not being a complete dumbass in Gotham. However, it’s hard to focus on the friendship, when she remembers the sex just as vividly.

They continue chit chatting about that ugly ass T in the sky but whatever makes him happy and whatever makes Gotham PD (aka Barbara) happy because they needed to be trusted right now more than ever. Her mind continues to shift to what could be happening if they both weren’t so damn stubborn. Like him pushing all of the food and utensils off the island and taking her right there. How would anybody ever know? This house is too damn big for them to get caught right? Plus with their reflexes they could definitely sneak one in. Kory shakes all of the explicit thoughts out of her head but not before noticing Dick’s beautiful mouth with crumbs in the corner that she really wants to lick off or would look really good licking something off of her. Instead she hands him a napkin and tries to focus on being the best friend and co-worker that Dick can keep.

*Dick’s POV*

Kory walking into the kitchen while he’s in the middle of spreading vegemite on his toast with a batarang and he tries his hardest not to puncture the bread. She’s wearing a short skirt again. Why does she always have to wear the tiniest of skirts? He’s just trying to keep their coworking situation friendly? He even started seeing Barbara again to make sure that they don’t fall back into their ways. No matter how much distance he tries to keep between Kory and him, his thoughts always wind up back to that night in the hotel when they were super close.

Hell he just invited Barbara over like five minutes ago. He has got to get control over this. Kory would start leaning over the counter, to give him an even better view of her perfect ass. He truly hates it here. If he had it his way, he wouldn’t be pregaming going to this stupid fucking gala. Instead he would march over to Kory, grab her waist, and pick her up and set that perfect ass right on the island. The skirt making this whole endeavor even easier. Conner and Gar are probably knee deep in cctv footage or a video game. Who even knows what the others are up to. Nobody would know… Kory hands him a napkin and he gives her his signature dimpled smile. He has got to work on their friendship because his thoughts are really out of hand, and Kory is definitely his kryptonite.

I hope y’all enjoy this! The way this hit me was too strong. Dusting off 15 year writing hat off for these crazy kids!

Thank you @selinascatnip and @escapism-through-imagination for the encouragement. 💜💙

28 notes • Posted 2021-12-02 02:14:34 GMT

#1

Whew Girlies that finale was so garbage! There were some bright spots like the RV but that was it! No reunions, no explanations, no apologies, nada. I’m just here for the fics at this point I know my people are gonna fix it for me! S3 went out just like the past 9 episodes leaving A LOT to be desired…

I’m screaming at that hashtag, like who was on my nerves. I will be more active in 2022 now that I’m writing or whatever…..

46 notes • Posted 2021-10-21 13:33:31 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[a-hidden-weeb-an-open-queer]

MHA but it's a wattpad werewolf fanfiction. P1.

As a werewolf wattpad author myself, I am taking the library to mock this strange culture phenomenon.

Warnings: Mentions of abuse and abusive fathers, nothing super graphic. Slut shaming. Possible hints at beasality (???). And no spell checking. Read at your own risk.

----I don't know how to center text lmao---------

A/N: omg guyz!!!!! im so excited to share this story idea ahhhhh but I'm also super nervous please b nice :)))))))) also to all the haters I'm sorry you're peanut butter jealous of me >:}

OoooooooO

Hello, my name is Izuku Midorya! I am a 4'1 greenette with wide beautiful jade orbs and a slim body. Sadly, I'm very ugly :( because I wear glasses and enjoy comics and other geeky things that other people don't.

Today is my first day at ForestWood High school and I'm super nervous. Everyone at my last highschool hated me because I was super ugly and shy.

"Izuku, sweetie, get up you're gonna be late to school!" My mom whispered yelled through my door.

I gasp, my jade eyes blinking open in panic. I had another nightmare about my abusive acholic dad beating me :(

"C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-Ccoming mom." I stuttered.

I slip out of the soft comforters of my bed and quickly made my way to the mirror. My messy, green hair and beautiful jade orbs staring blinking at me. I frown. My ugly freckles are ugly against my super smooth and milky skin. God, I hated how I looked.

"Honey?" My mom whispered yelled again.

My abusive acholic dad used to beat her whenever he spoke higher than a whisper so now her voice is permanently damaged and she can't speak higher than a whisper ever again. Damn him!!!!!!

"Sorry! I'll be down quickly!" I gasped.

I totally forgot it was my first day at ForestWood High school - i hope the other kids don't bully me for my super ugly glasses and totally weird hobbies like reading comics or listening to Panic At The Disco!

I quickly pull on my vans, my best pair of jeans, and the cutest long sleeve shirt I have. It has to be long sleeved cuz my abusive acholic dad left burn scars all over my arms.

I look at myself through the mirror and nod happily - I am still super ugly tho.

"Hmmmm, it feels like I'm missing something....Oh!" I pulled on my glasses, almost forgetting them. Wow I'm such a klutz!

Laughing to myself, I climb down the stairs and find my mommy in the kitchen making breakfast.

"Hi sweetie! I hope you aren't too stressed out about moving in the middle of sophomore year. It's just that we needed a new start after your abusive acholic father was arrested for a DUI." She whisper yells.

I nod. "No I understand mother."

She smiles. "Okay sweetie, so long you are happy. Do you want me to drive you?"

"No thanks" it's so lame to have your mom drive you too school, I think to myself.

My mom lays down a plate full of eggs, bacon, cheese, pancakes, sausage, and beans. I smile and take a piece of toast "thanks for breakfast mom" i say as i run outside.

"You're welcome honey!" She whisper yells back.

OoooooooooooO

Everyone is staring at me as I walk into the door of WoodForest High School. They all stare wide eyed before turning around to gossip to each other.

I nervously look down, clinching the schedule my student console gave me. Already the weirdo :( it must be the Naruto shirt I'm wearing.

Since I was looking down nervously, I didn't see the slut in front of me. I let out a gasp, body falling backwards as my papers are all scattered to the floor.

"Omg I am sooooooooooooo sorry!" I cried out, head snapping upwards.

Across from me sat the slutties person I've ever seen!!! With a skin tight, thigh high dress, super long heels, and a face full of makeup, he looked like a low-end prostitute.

"Omg! You better be sorry! My father just got me these heels! Ugh! Stupid human!!!!!" He said, beautiful blonde hair shining and gray eyes twinkling with anger.

"I-I-Im-" I stuttered.

"Just fucking shut up you stupid fucking whore omfg this is why i wanted Alpha Todorki to fucking kill all the humans and shit but nooooo that was genocide and bad. Ughhuuuy stupid ass fucking bitch." He yells down at me, standing up from the floor.

Around me the whole student body stares, most laughing or throwing in their own insults. Tears fill my jade orbs as I sniffle.

The slut huffs, spinning on his heels as he marches down the hallway. Everyone watches his ass as he goes because damn.

"Oh my god! Are you okay?" A kind and gentle voice calls out. I turn to see a beautiful brownette standing before me and I blush - she's so cute and nice!

"You must be the new guy! Hi! I'm Ochako~ and the person who just rudely left you sitting on the floor is Momoma - he's sorta the Queen Bee around here. And a mythic bitch" (A/N: if you got that reference plsssssssss be my friend 😭)

Ochako helps me pick up the single piece of paper I dropped when I ran into Momoma.

"Wait, how do you know I'm knew?" I ask confused.

Ochako laughs, sounding suspiciously nervous. Weird...

"Uh....its a small town and every one sorta knows every one hahahaha! OH! It looks like you have Mr. Aizawa first period, so do I! He's sorta of a hardass but is also super kind!"

I nod, "okay!" We walk down the hallway together.

"Hey, do you think you can tell me more about this school?" I ask, not wanting to repeat the same thing I rid with MoBitch.

Ochako nods, "sure! Well this school isn't like most because we have two packs right next to each other -" ochako's eyes widen as she looks my way. I am confused. "-I mean! Not packs. No. That's weird. Wolf like. I meant...families. Two different families and we don't like each other and we don't have many outsiders hahahha"

I blink before nodding, "that makes sense. Who are these families?" I asked like a good main protagonist.

Ochako continues with the NPC dialog. "Well first you have the Todorokis - Alpha, i mean, leader Todoroki is a real hard ass. His son is unmated, I mean, is currently not in a relationship. He's weird but nice. Then there are the bakugos. Alpha...leader Bakugo is real nice! I love her cooking but her son is super mean and is a bad boy so stay away from him. He's also single."

I nod as we come up to a science classroom, "thank you."

"Well, here we are! First period of the day! Ready for hell on earth?" She asks me with a wink.

I take her arm in mine, "only if you're ready to talk along side with me."

She laughs, "of course we're best friends after all."

"I've known you for five minutes."

"What?"

"Nothing."

We step into the classroom, arm in arm. I feel ready to face any weirdos or bad boys.

OoooooooooO

A/N: omggggg that was so much fun 2 write and i feel like it was really good. Please comment and like :))))) it makes me happy and I'm very sad :(((((( love you alll!!!!!!! Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxozoozz

[coreastories]

The Clock

Part 8 of Days and Nights of Forever

The turning point. She had already said yes. He only needed to hear it.

~*~ 

Ties in with Corea News, Modern Royals: 10 Times the King and Queen of Corea made ahjummas ugly-cry over their romance. The true story of the hug at the clock.

ON AO3 for download and kudos ;) 

“I’m here. How are you? Where are you?” 

Just like that, Tae-Eul felt the day’s tension leave her chest. She could breathe. She felt a smile tug at her lips but she repressed it because Kang Shin-jae was actually glaring at her for her audacity in answering the phone in his august presence. Jerk. 

She turned away from him and walked out of his office. She leaned against the wall and propped her foot on it, not caring if her shoe left that white wall less than pristine. She hoped it did. 

She had missed Gon. They hadn’t been able to see each other last week either. She spoke softly, “I’m sorry, I’m still on that case. We have a breakthrough now. This might end soon. But I might not be able to leave yet.” And that frustrated her more than the case and the helpful bastard in the office did. It was almost five. She should have wrapped things up by now if it weren’t for Mr. Uncooperative. 

“I can come to you. Maybe I can help?” 

Tae-Eul grinned, imagining Gon here facing off with Shin-Jae. “I’m sure you can. But this involves industrial espionage and they’re already iffy about letting us in on it. They want the investigation done by private firms. But their suspect is also our murder suspect so they need to cooperate.” 

And honestly, she didn’t want Gon here, not with this Kang Shin-jae’s brand of condescension. She needed leads, not bullfights. “Look, can you wait at the hotel? I’ll come as soon as I finish.” 

“All right. Saranghae.” 

“Nado.” She knew he was still on the line--he always was, always waited for her that way-- but she ended the call. Then jumped a bit when someone spoke beside her. 

“You expect me to trust you with this case when you take personal calls while on it?” 

Tae-Eul pursed her lips and slowly put her phone back in her pocket. Stupid pocket. When she finally found her pocket-- and when she felt like she wouldn’t snap at the civilian-- she looked at him and smiled. She hoped it looked like a smile. 

“Look, I understand your reluctance, sir, but I’d like to remind you that you might be this entire building’s lord and master but you’re not the boss of me. And you are not trusting me or my team with anything-- it’s our case too whether you like it or not. You need to cooperate if you don’t want us to charge you for obstruction of justice. Let’s get back to it, shall we?” 

They got back to it. Their warrant came and that gave them more leeway in requesting documents and other materials. She tried not to flinch whenever she felt Kang Shin-jae’s gaze on her. He was Kang Shin-jae, the KIT Company’s vice-chairman and pain in the ass who wouldn’t let them have what they needed because it was entangled with the company’s current R&D project. 

He wore an expensive suit--something she could recognize by sight by now because of Gon-- and looked and acted like he owned the place, which he did. Everything about him was different. Definitely not her former hyeong-nim. 

“If you sign a Non-Disclosure Agreement, I’ll give you what you’re asking for. You. Just you. Not your entire team, or the NDA just dissolves itself.” 

Tae-Eul raised her eyes to heaven for the-- she’d lost count how many times. “As we told you already, sir, we can’t do NDAs. We might need to disclose something for the investigation.” 

“And we’re back where we started.” 

Tae-Eul smiled and bowed, gritting her teeth. She motioned for Jang-mi and the rest to drop everything. “Thanks so much for your time.” 

It was 10pm. Five hours of looking through files and getting nothing new except the confirmation that their suspect had killed their victim because the victim had found out what the suspect was doing. Typical motive. She could close this case if only she hadn’t come up against this wall that had the face of her former best partner. 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be more helpful,” Kang Shin-Jae said, and Tae-Eul paused at the door, nearly walking into Jang-mi’s back, because they had all paused. 

She heard Jangmi’s stomach growl. She slapped the guy on the back in second-hand embarrassment. 

“I really am,” Kang Shin-Jae continued. Tae-Eul felt her heart soften a bit, because this man might not be her hyeong-nim--of course he wasn’t-- but he was a good guy. Just a little stiff about his R&D. Understandable enough. “I’ll let you know if we find anything of his whereabouts, or anything that might help you at all. If you go to the cafeteria, they’ll serve you dinner. It’s free. They’re open 24 hours so there’s no need to hurry.”

“Thanks. That’s nice of you.” She inclined her head at him, and he smiled and looked like he wanted to say something else, but she pushed Jangmi forward and followed him out. 

She just wanted to get to the hotel and to Gon.

She was tempted to attach the police beacon on top of her car so she could speed her way there, but she could use the drive to calm down. It wasn’t like she wasn’t used to cases taking their sweet time. She was just… she missed Gon. 

Last weekend, this case had broken wide open with national news coverage. The victim had been a beloved teacher for decades-- with the nosiness to match, which got her in trouble-- and the public were rabid for blood. So Tae-Eul hadn’t been able to get away. 

She missed Gon. 

So when she got to their suite and didn’t find him, all her frustration returned and she felt her eyes grow hot with tears. 

He had left a note on the counter. 

“I’m so sorry, nae sarang. I’m checking on something. If I’m not back and you find this note, it means I had to take care of it. I’ll be back tonight, or tomorrow morning. If you like, you can meet me at the obelisks around 6am. If that’s too early for a Sunday, just wait here. I’ll be here when you wake up. There’s dak-galbi in the microwave.”

She slapped the note back on the counter and went to shower, trying not to be furious that he hadn’t waited, that it had taken her five extra hours to get here, that he wasn’t here, and… 

She wished she could just go to him. 

She loved what they had but it grated at times like this. It grated so much that she couldn’t go to him or simply meet him at some late night restaurant whenever she got off work. 

And something she tried not to dwell on was the fact that if anything happened to him, she wouldn’t even know, unless Jo Yeong decided to have mercy on her and cross the worlds to tell her. If he could even use the flute at all. 

It always made her chest and stomach clench, and she tried not to think of it. They hadn’t talked about it yet, not when they’d just gotten together, in an unspoken understanding of not voicing what they feared. 

What was Gon checking on, and what was so bad about it that it had taken him away from her? Was he all right? 

She waited what seemed like all night. Before closing her eyes to fatigue, she looked at the clock: 2:14am. She woke up again around 4am. At that point, she got out of bed and dressed to go home. She was too wired. She could use a workout at the dojo before heading to the bamboo grove. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When two hours came and went without Tae-Eul coming through the door and without a phone call, Gon sighed and pinched the nerve flicking between his eyes. 

This was one of those times he really hated that he lost Jo Eun-sup in this new timeline. Gon had no one to call to ask about Tae-Eul. He couldn’t ask her dad-- Gon had tried that once and lost three hours to samgyupsal. 

He turned on the TV and flicked through the channels, stopping on the evening news when he thought he saw Tae-Eul-- and it was. Tae-Eul and Jangmi and two other detectives enter Kang Shin-jae’s building. The footage wasn’t the best but he’d recognize her anywhere. 

And it was Kang Shin-jae on the news. Well, his company. A source had leaked to media that the recent murder case in Jongno was linked to KIT Company. The suspect was a former employee.  

The news cycled through its short footages. Gon saw the blurred and yellow-taped murder scene, the Jongno police station facade, the KIT building exterior, and then that footage again of Tae-Eul and her team in plain clothes entering the building this afternoon, confirming the news item’s claim that KIT Company was connected somehow. 

Gon turned off the TV. He took a deep breath and also tried to turn off his returning and now absolutely ridiculous resentment of Kang Shin-jae. 

He didn’t resent the man. Why would he? He went to the kitchen and fixed something. It was a good night for stir-fry. He took too much satisfaction chopping the vegetables. 

When another two hours went without Tae-Eul, Gon was at the end of his patience. 

He didn’t like what he was feeling. It was ugly and making his jaw clench and he didn’t want Tae-Eul to come to him in this state. She didn’t deserve it. 

So he dashed off a note and left before he changed his mind or decided to do anything stupider, like go to the KIT building. 

Back at the palace, a couple of court maids dissolved into tears when they made the mistake of getting in his way. He had only looked at them venomously, but that was apparently enough. Lady Noh should hire women with more backbone. He snorted. Lady Noh said nothing and only looked at him in reproach. But she didn’t pry. She did bring in a plate of petit fours. 

He ignored them and carried on working until he realized the light in the room had changed. His neck was stiff and his eyes were sticky and fuck it all, it was a quarter to five a.m. 

He’d told Tae-Eul she could meet him or he’d go to her at six. 

He stood in the shower and tried to get his thoughts in order. He turned the water cold because there was a heat in his chest he couldn’t dislodge. He hadn’t seen her last weekend and this one was nearly over and here he was wasting time feeling what? Grouchy that he hadn’t seen her? How old was he, fifteen? 

Jealous that she’d spent half the night with Kang Shin-Jae? 

Christ, it sounded ridiculous in his own head. Kang Shin-Jae was practically a stranger to her.

He was going to fix this. 

Secretary Mo was in his suite’s living room, just about to peer into his bedroom to see if he was done in the shower. Gon swore. “No.” 

“I’m sorry, Pyeha. A Japanese vessel apparently sank a Corean fishing vessel. They’re saying it’s an accident and they’ve rescued the passengers but now Japanese officers are trying to bargain for the release of our fishermen. The Minister of Defense is on the line, and the Minister of Foreign Affairs and the Prime Minister are also waiting.” 

Gon took the calls in his bathrobe. He asked questions and gave answers. If Secretary Mo noticed he was more curt than usual, she didn’t say anything. When he reached the Prime Minister, he only told her he trusted her completely and ended the call. 

Despite all that and Secretary Mo's matching terrifying efficiency, it was still already a quarter past seven when he finally came out of the obelisks. He found Tae-Eul seated in one of the benches in the grove. 

Glaring at him. And with dark smudges under her eyes. He knelt in front of her. “I’m so sorry. There was an incident that kept me. A Japanese--” 

“Let’s just go. And I’m tired. Maybe we can sleep for a bit?” 

Gon stroked the smudges under her eyes with both thumbs. “Haven’t you slept?” 

She pursed her lips, which she did when she chose not to say what was on her mind, still looking at him darkly but her expression softening by the second. “You look like you haven’t either.” 

That just reminded Gon of his idiocy. He was furious with himself. 

He took Tae-Eul’s hand and stood up, gently pulling her with him. She leaned on him once she was on her feet. His chest tightened with love for this woman and he tucked her against his side with his arm. He walked them toward the obelisks. “We can sleep at the palace.” 

The manpasikjeok hadn’t sent them to any other time for awhile now, and he was glad it didn’t choose today to surprise them. Tae-Eul napped on the boat, and even with that she was still so sleepy, shielding her eyes from the morning’s sunlight when they docked and then made their way to the palace. 

By this time, Gon had devised a completely private and empty route to his chambers, so Tae-Eul didn’t have to hide as she half-walked, half-leaned on him, half-asleep with her cheek on his shoulder. She really was exhausted. 

If his guilt was a pinch before, it was a vise now, squeezing him.  

In his--their-- bedroom, Tae-Eul turned down the covers for herself, took off her shoes, then shimmied out of her jeans. He half-smiled-- those long, gorgeous legs would never stop taking his breath away-- and then tucked her in, bending over to kiss her on the forehead, her tired eyes, her nose, her cheeks, and finally, her lips. 

She kissed him back sleepily, her thumb anchored at his cheek and her fingers doing a lazy, gentle stroking on his neck. This was what he’d needed. He felt the vise in his stomach losing its hold, he felt silly about every other ridiculous thought that had passed through his head. 

But she was sleepy, and he drew back to look at her. Her eyes were already closed. Without opening them, she patted the space next to her on the bed. 

He was just about to get in when the phone in the living room rang. Tae-Eul winced slightly at the noise. 

“I’m sorry. That’s probably Secretary Mo. Something’s happened this morning.” 

Tae-Eul had opened her eyes now. “Is everyone all right? Are you all right?” 

Discounting my fit of idiotic jealousy? “Of course I’m alright, and our people should be,” he said. “Let me answer the phone. I’ll be back.” 

Except he wasn’t able to come back for twelve hours. 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tae-Eul woke up to Lady Noh peering down at her from beside the bed, having gently shaken Tae-Eul awake. The old lady was also feeling her forehead and cheek now. 

“Are you ill? Why are you so sleepy?”

“No. Just sleep-deprived.” Tae-Eul realized she could smell food. “I brought your lunch. Come and eat.” “Where’s Gon?” 

Lady Noh no longer flinched at that, but she did look at Tae-Eul in sympathy. “He went with the Navy to try to intimidate those idiots into releasing our people.” Lady Noh picked up the tray and placed it before Tae-Eul before she could protest. “Eat. Then sleep some more.” 

Tae-Eul groaned at how the older lady was looking at her. “Lady Noh, I’m not pregnant.” 

“We don’t know that,” Lady Noh said, then she smiled impishly and left, leaving Tae-Eul blushing on the bed. 

Gon hadn’t even slept yet. She knew that sleep-deprived look. She reached for her phone--in this world-- and called him. He answered immediately. 

“Have you just woken up?” 

“Like a ba-- yes, I did. Are you on your way back?” 

“That’s what I want to know myself,” he said, his voice snappish, something she had never heard before. “Can you wait a bit more?”

“It’s not like I have a choice.” 

“Yes, you do. You can cut ties with me.” 

“What?” She had said what she’d said as a joke. Waiting was like their brand. They waited for each other. She scratched her neck. But he was.... angry? And apparently he wasn’t done. 

“Yes. That case that took you away for two weekends now. Maybe you like that case so much because you get to spend it with Kang Shin-jae in his palace.” 

Tae-Eul took the phone away from her ear for a second and stared at it in disbelief. Then she put it back. “I’ll talk to you when you’re making sense.” 

She hung up on him. That would teach him. 

She told herself she was amused and not… not angry. 

She vented it on her food and mutilated her fish and side dishes before eating them all because feeling like this made her hungry. 

Lady Noh came back and seemed inordinately satisfied with her spotless bowls. Tae-Eul felt like pulling her hair. “Lady Noh, I’m not pregnant. What happened with Gon?”

Lady Noh would never sit down on the king’s bed, but she did lean a hip on it, since it was just at the right height. “We got news this morning that a Japanese boat had sunk a Corean fishing boat. Accident, they say, and they rescued everyone onboard. But then the Japanese Navy got ahold of them and someone in that godforsaken government is trying to use the fishermen as a bargaining chip. Ridiculous.” 

“They’re okay? The fishermen? No casualties?”

Lady Noh nodded. “It seemed too neat, if you ask me. Accident, my foot.” 

“What are they trying to bargain about?”

“Who knows. We have so much they want.” 

“Wait, you said you got the news this morning? Not last night?”

“Yes. Well, I don’t know. He was really furious last night. I thought it must have been because of this, because it kept him from you.” 

Tae-Eul blinked at the old woman, trying to make sense of what she just heard.  

When Lady Noh saw Tae-Eul wasn’t going to say anything else, she left with the tray. Tae-Eul got up from bed, went to her dresser, and put on silk pajama bottoms, and then unconcealed the television in the living room suite. 

Either the news outlets were less informed, or they were truly saying Corea only got wind of the “accident” this morning, and assuring the people that the Ministers of Defense and Foreign Affairs had acted quickly. 

The king was with them now to lay terms himself and act on the royal family’s long-standing promise to be the country’s first line of defense from foreign maneuvering and malcontent. 

So Gon must have had another pressing matter on top of this one? Add to being sleep-deprived and no wonder he was snappy.  A fraction of her mind-- a tiny fraction-- was wondering if that other “pressing matter” was named Kang Shin-Jae, but since it was already making her eyes roll, she hoped not. 

----------------------------------------------------------------

“Yes. That case that took you away for two weekends now. Maybe you like that case so much because you get to spend it with Kang Shin-jae in his palace.” 

His brain was already backfiring and imploding with warning even as his mouth actually finished saying all that. Suddenly, the railing of the navy vessel looked so inviting. He could hit his head on it. Or he could climb it and jump overboard and maybe the Pacific could knock some sense into him.  

“I’ll talk to you when you’re making sense.” 

The line went dead. 

Gon’s arm dropped like dead weight at his side and it was only thanks to his phone’s ribbed case that it didn’t slip from his slack hand. 

And he could see Yeong giving him his most judgmental side-eye to date. 

Gon closed his eyes. 

“I can’t believe you said that,” said Yeong quietly. 

Gon closed his eyes harder. “I need sleep. I need to get out of here. I need to go beg Tae-Eul to forgive me for what I said. I need to--”

“Shut up,” said Yeong, more quietly. Gon turned around to see the Ministers of Defense and Foreign Affairs approaching. 

For the moment, he ignored the fact that his Unbreakable Sword had told him again to shut up. Gon straightened his back. “Everything to our satisfaction, gentlemen?” 

“Yes, Pyeha, they just want their own minister to arrive first and officially hand over the passengers.” 

“What?”

Minister Kim leaned back from Gon’s quiet growl. “They want to make it official. Since Your Majesty is here, they couldn’t be completely without a representative from their own government.” 

Gon was about to say he can bloody well leave when he realized he couldn’t, and shouldn’t. “Very well. Are they coming by air?” 

“By boat, Pyeja. I’m sorry for the delay. The minister apparently has an ear condition that doesn’t let him travel by air.”

“Then why is he coming in the first place-- why couldn’t someone else-- fine.” 

He was whining so he stopped. He looked at Yeong to get some sympathy but only got another glaring side-eye. 

“Go ahead, let me have it, then,” Gon said, when he and Yeong were alone again. 

“Pyeha, I’m sure nothing I tell you is worse than what your own head is already spewing. What did she say?”

“Only said she’ll talk to me when I’m talking sense.” 

Yeong nodded in what seemed like agreement and approval. 

Gon pressed his fingers against his eyes.  

“Can you really see yourself living with that option?” Yeong asked quietly, not looking at him but at the horizon. 

“What?”

“The one you told her. Breaking things off with you. Choosing Kang Shin-Jae in his palace.” 

“You don’t need to quote me.” 

Yeong just cut his eyes at him. 

“No,” said Gon. “No.” 

And that was it, wasn’t it? That possibility, that threat, no matter how implausible with Tae-Eul’s love for him, was enough to shake him and send him incoherent and mindless with rage. 

His jaw clenched. It would be so simple. Tae-Eul could have a good life with no complications, no obligations. She could have someone daily, not on weekends, and she could go to the man anytime she wanted, and they could have that domestic simplicity of living together, waking up together, every day. 

Everything Gon wanted but couldn’t give her at the present, not with their separate worlds and separate lives. 

He was a mathematician. His brain could see and calculate figures in an instant. Kang Shin-Jae was a better equation for Tae-Eul. He was in her world. That alone was a figure Gon couldn’t match. 

His phone buzzed in his hand, and it brought him outside his own head. 

The text message was short, to the point. Tae-Eul. With her amazing ability to read through him, apparently even across the ocean when he was at sea. 

His eyes stung. And he convinced himself it was the salt air. Not his profound awe of this woman fate had given him. 

I love you. I’ll see you at the clock.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lady Noh had brought Seung-ah over when Tae-Eul saw the latest update on the situation Gon was smoothing over, so both women heard Tae-Eul swear vehemently. 

She blushed. But they took it in stride. 

Seung-ah grinned. Tae-Eul thought the girl was just too fascinated with the king’s secret girlfriend just now. Lady Noh had wanted Seung-ah and Park In-yeong, who were sort of like her protegees, to know of Tae-Eul, because Tae-Eul needed it. 

It was like a shield against scandal: Tae-Eul had the highest court lady who was practically the king’s grandmother, the Royal Public Affairs Office, and the only female member of the Royal Guard, on her side. Tae-Eul saw the sense in it. 

And right now, she was thankful for it. 

“He’ll be stuck there for another five hours?!” she ranted. “They’re waiting for the Japanese Defense minister.” 

“They’re posturing. His Majesty soundly kicked their ass-ets again in this round,” said Seung-ah, adjusting her vocabulary when Lady Noh looked at her. “So they’re posturing to save face, making the king wait.”

Tae-Eul sighed. 

“Do you want to take a walk with me?” Seung-ah asked. “I can show you around and you can tell me more about your cases.” 

“Cases” often included questions about Gon, just bordering on invasive but never actually crossing the line. Tae-Eul was trained as a detective and she still learned questioning techniques from Seung-ah. 

“All right. I can’t stay here all day. Just let me get dressed.” 

Inside the en suite, she debated for a couple of seconds whether she should call Gon. She was worried about him, sleep-deprived and out on a ship under the sun and she wanted to let him know she was behind him one hundred percent, whether or not he was in some snit about Kang Shin-Jae. 

Especially if he was in a snit about Kang Shin-Jae. 

But if she was in a snit and stuck somewhere she’d rather not be, she wouldn’t want him to bear the brunt of her temper either. So instead of calling, she should send a text. 

I love you. Don’t worry about me. Don’t think about Kang Shin-Jae. You’re the only one I want and I’m happy to be right here with you even if you’re far away from me. I’m going out with Seung-ah. I saw everything on the news so I know you’re still stuck there. I’ll see you at the clock. 

She frowned at that message and edited it to the most important bits that would actually accomplish what she wanted for him. 

She didn’t want him to think Kang Shin-Jae was still on her mind. She didn’t want him to dwell on the fact that they weren’t with each other right now, another weekend gone. She didn’t want him to worry, period. About the men in her world or her going out and about in his.

I love you. I’ll see you at the clock.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was dark and the clock was like a moon in the street when she saw his tall form coming toward her. Members of the Royal Guard were already scattered around them, probably long before she even saw Gon, which would explain the privacy and quiet they suddenly had, even in that public and much beloved part of the palace grounds. 

She stood up as he neared her and her arms came up almost of their own accord when she saw his face. When he pulled her into his arms, hers came around his waist, and she held him tight, feeling him shake a little and then go still as he sighed against her hair. 

She felt his hand cradling her head and heard him whisper, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said.”  

She patted his back and squeezed him over his soft coat. “Of course you didn’t.” 

“I missed you.”

“I missed you, too.” 

“Will you be my queen? Will you let me be the one to fill your days?” 

He had asked her that question so many times now but Tae-Eul still felt her heart clench every time he did. She used her grip on his coat to push him a little so they could part enough for her to see his face, and for him to see hers when she said, “Not today.” And just before his face shuttered at her usual reply, she added, “But soon.” 

He didn’t smile like she’d expected, didn’t speak, only looked at her so intensely Tae-Eul felt her blood pound on her chest, neck and cheeks. 

When she was about to tug him at the waist again to demand he say something, he brought one hand to her cheek and said, “Do you mean that? Will it make you happy?” 

And Tae-Eul felt herself soften in his arms, felt her eyes brim with love for this man fate gave her. Because when she said Soon, she’d expected him and his mathematician mind to ask, When?

But no, he was only-- he only ever thought of her happiness. And maybe she should, too. Her happiness and his. Because he deserved it. 

She nodded, nodded hard and with conviction because she was daring any gods out there to interfere. “Of-- of course it will,” and her voice trembled a little. So she cleared her throat and said more firmly, and simply, “Yes.” 

He smiled. 

----------------------------------------------------------

____________________________________

Added that line from the novel. But pretty much completely the original outline. Whew. Let me know whatcha think. Homestretch. :) 

[vanityloves]

anyways im gonna listen to/read the fuckin...rise of the ogre shit bc ive been putting it off 🪓🥴 im gonna put stuff under the cut bc im gonna be TALKING n dont wanna make a new post everytime

piss

ok he performed for 2 pounds 50. which is basically $3 today i- well it was absolutely a power play on his father behalf that also had the promise of money so.

also lol he said Rejection fueled my ambitions which, yknow,, i already knew but it still hurts and i will continue to talk ab it xoxo

AH HELP. "...if ebay had been invented at the time he would've sold me online there and then,"

"man hands on misery to man, yknow"

THEN PROCEEDS TO CONNECT IT TO MUSIC/HIS CAREER. this man said :) the one thing i truly have a passion for. the one thing i fucking like.

oh yeah. bullied by students AND teachers.

oh god hes 42ish during this interview? ok.

the fuckin school bully saying he wouldve acted differently if he knew what hed become

getting called "faceache", then proceeds to call 2d that. jfc he really does just repeat what everyone says. really "treating others how i was treated/how they treat me"

maybe thats why? hes kinder to fans? bc :] you support me and like me so, ok ill return that energy

MURDOC GETTING HIS ASS BEAT N PARADING HOME LIKE WELL I WON BC 'I PISSED YOU OFF' SJDJD

a real rowdy boy. absolute nasty boy. fraud and arson... shooting ppls windows with his air pistols

black sabbath being a huge inspiration? fucking absolutely.

became a satanist n shit at age 16? "it fitted me like a glove" "heavy metal and devil worshipping became my favorite past times" ajsj funny that ppl in trying times often seek religion or following of some sort

heavy metal being his favorite, n loving the clash, while hannibals was more punk based

hannibal breaking murdocs nose for the 2nd and 3rd time for playing his music on hannibals turntable

he doesnt sound that bitter? ab hannibal? he doesnt sound incredibly fond but he talks ab how he got him into a lot of music. so, i imagine they we're a bit closer than i thought?

international baccalaureate in antisocial? anthropology?

MURDOC IS ACTUALLY SMART HE WAS JUST. NOT INTERESTED IN THE SUBJECTS? I GUESS? (also,,, he literally Built cyborg noodle and i think he had a PhD too lol. but its always nice to hear hes actually...yknow, interested or good at other things)

alright but murdoc having a fascination w/ other cultures - or at least some interests, that lead him to actually study the damn subject and "pass with flying colors"

'fuck college though. im gonna be a rockstar'

he sold his soul at 18ish? whenever the fuck he got kicked out but college was mentioned so my brain goes to 18ish idk

he lived with his father still and paid rent via low paying jobs one including 'part time dressing as santa'

help he was ab to take a Personal Job for quick cash and uhh well, "still made me call him sir though" he really said 20 dollars is 20 dollars, huh "that story was totally true"

alright, 1997,,,

2d stuff

loves zombie stuff? thats really cute, and is freaked out by the way they move. god he rambles

both he and murdoc are horses in the chinese zodiac

[[jfc ok if the official shit compares them a lot i understand why ppl ship them but Dont. its a narrative foil and that doesnt always mean Romance jfc.]]

SUMTHINK.

truly... a lil stinker. super cute bouncing baby and a "bit thick" which is stull so endearing to me. hes just a happy man!

excitable 10 year old and would dance around his room

jfc the fact he has normal/caring parents. i kinda forget how opposite hes supposed to be from murdoc but i think thats another thing jsjsysg (murdoc said why isnt my tragic story making me famous why does he get to be the Star. no wonder he acts like a loon)

i still dont get how gettin bonked by a tree branch made him go bald and also turn his hair blue

big tiddy nurse mommy,,,

went to the same school as The Cure and got decent grades despite hittin the noggin quite hard. WANTED TO BE A STORM CHASER... OMG??

oh thats really cute, hed bond with his dad by building keyboards toegther 🥺💕

messed around with paints and graffiti? artistic king

MURDOC AGAIN: QHDJ 'VILLANOUS' GANG HELP

oh yeah d day...new instruments, new band, new singer - and 'had to be the best or no dice' and absolutely CONFIDENT that his songs were bangers ajsjd

but on that same note, had absolute faith (or desperate) in 2d which i love

ransacked the fucking music shop jdjdj and 2d said he was Just Standing There behind the counter the whole shift hdhdh

"thats when your eye came out, yeah" "yeah!-" HELP WHY DOES HE SOUND SO HAPPY AB IT ?? yes he said ut hurt but he sounds...ok

jfc murdoc ragdolling this poor mf around. dunking him and slapping him around. actually? so incredibly terrible and abusive and i hate him for that 🔫 im sorry 2d stans. we dont condone that behavior here ong.

how and why the FUCK did 2d's parents allow that fucker near their child after that i??? help. wtf. his moms a nurse why didnt she just have murdoc sit in plain view of other people. god damn.

2d flying out the window n hitting the curb "whoops"

"just two black holes...[ah] it looked great...a blue hair, blacked eyed GOD- the girls would go wild-" "pretty boy looks" ???? HELP. HE DOESNT GO LIGHT ON THE COMPLIMENTS, HUH

RUSS TIME

oh yeah, he straight up kiddnapped this man help. idk how he managed that, russ is a Big Man??

AND MURDOCS MUSIC WAS SO FUCKING SEXY GOOD that russel said hm alright ill stay, :] out ifbhis owm free will im screaming.

"oh this is one of them febreeze commercials" "uh . yeah sure. *murdoc turning on his Sick Tunes*" but that either means? it was just his guitar playing the convinced russ? unless he and 2d recorded sumn?

"2d was the looks, murdoc the brains, then russel truly was the heart"

'while 2d and murdoc liked music, this man was a MUSICIAN' god fucking bless this book holy shit ny man russ getting some respect. he said back hurts from carrying this band.

murdoc basically heard this guy had big trauma that gave him So Many Skills n said "thats what i want" ok idk thats actually really? inch rest ting to me. seems that murdocs fine handing out compliments but i guess that where his charisma really helps out yeah?

"he was going to be in my band whether he liked it or not" ...murdoc-

HELP. 2D IS LIKE BRO GO ON IM LISTENING 🥺 despite hearing the story 50-60 times and murdoc said fuck off you lil shit.

ok irrelevant but i love his voice! its super comforting n nice to listen to 🥺

HELP MURDOCS SO BITTER. "NOTHING THAT HAPPENS TO US IS NORMAL" WELL YEAH. THIS IS TRAUMA CENTRAL.

idk how/why he sucked up all his friends souls though ... how are they all possessing the same person. they said "its my turn on The Russ"

DELL IS HIS ACTUAL, LITERAL SOULMATE...KING...😭

went to a private school,,, and was already possessed? and the thing where he gets bigger and smaller is a reoccurring thing?

was in a coma for 4 years?

hiphop machine...time and history...the ultimate set i guess.

his knowledge was infinite and hes a "Renaissance man" hes so fucking smart our king. jack of all trades but a master of drums. he said i know im good and what of it

PAULA.

HELP. HE RMBRS THE STALL: CUBICAL NUMBER 3 🥴 IF I DO RECALL 🤤

yes russel our king. fuck up his nose 5 more times. probably stunted his growth too. he shrunk after russ gave him a wallop im sure

why dies paula sound like tracer overwatch

also only dated 2d for 2 months before joining the band?

HELP SHE REALLY WAS THE FIRST MURDOC FUCKER: "but when i saw murdoc with his thick greasy hair, green teeth and yellow skin i thought 'oh this is the ine for me!'" "OH HES SUCH A DANDY-" HELP ME IM HQJDHD

sick in the head...like i want to hurt people help girl. shes fucking Crazy. but she rly said damn i didnt hear back from him again 😭 and my purse is gone JSHHD

MURDOC: SHE WAS DEPRESSINGLY UGLY *still fucked her*

NOODLE TIME

"small japanese person!"

2d: we werent gorillaz until noodle arrived!

im dying the reason he chose gorillaz. 'swinging through the jungle baring my ass'

noodle really said "im just happy to be here" and she balanced everyone out 😭 "she gave off pure love and the fact that she could laugh at murdoc REALLY helped too" RUSS... IS BABY

JFC MURDOCS SO FUCKING CONFIDENT IN THIS BAND IM LIVING FOR THAT. HE SAID YOU WANT US SO BAD IT MAKES YOU LOOK STUPID. THE CHARISMA

2d rambling ab some girl he met and "ssSs" "whats the s stand for hawhaw" "i dont know!".

THE RECORD LABEL GUY.

one song is all it took i ❤ good for them

just murdoc talking ab the party that they threw for thier deal and saying "you dont know how much of a dick i felt like [when carrying one of those huge checks]" like oh thats whatll make you a dick? alright.

A FOOD FIGHT THAT WENT SO HARD THAT IT KNOCKED 2DS TONSILS OUT? WHAT THE FUCK

ahshdj damon and murdoc not getting along bc of Rival Band One Uppery + damon calling murdocs cuban heels crap since ge wore steel ones with gold spurs.

MURDOC FEELIN EMBARRASSED BC HES 'QUITE PROUD OF HIS SHOES'

but the band and damon getting over music and their ambitions and became a "paternal figure"

HELP MURDOC SAID AWIOGA @ RACHEL WHICH MADE HER THROW HER DRINK IN HIS FACE AND SPLIT FROM 2D. kinda sad actually, she said i still like 2d but murdoc kinda ruined it by trying to get it in with me, it put a strain in our relationship :/ oh god murdocs That Dude

nov 31 1998: started recording :]

40 tracks that got cut down to 15 holy shit

KONG STUDIOS 🤲

hooking up cameras in every room ejdjsu

webby artist of the year in 2006? holy shit

noodle learning ab kong studios omfg

JFC. YES I KNEW KONG WAS BUILT ON/IN A CEMETERY BUT I DIDNT KNOW PPL FOR THE FUCKING PLAGUE WHERE THROWN THERE HDJD

built in 1739?

the ghost of the first owners ghost still roams around in the kitchen in the early hours and moans 'aaa glass of water'

theres some rotting bullshit near the studios and in the summer its fucking TERRIBLE

the former owners were a biker gang, and they all died in a fire

murdoc said this place has bad vibes. i want it.

grim weather

the building feels impossible to escape from huHgg

[calypsoff]

Sixteen. Part 4

Walking around with a gut full of Chris’ babies and his tee on, life is great. It is what I have craved, and then this heat. I smiled closing my eyes as I moved my face up to the sun, this is what I want. I am happy, and the sex was great, I can never get bored of Chris’ dick game, he is so fucking good at it. Stepping outside smiling to myself, just on time. Mel started to call, she said she was. Chris is still asleep; he is tired which doesn’t shock me. I even shifted him from me, and he didn’t move at all, I love the soreness. I also love that Chris has been eating fruit, it was better to swallow, tasty I would say “Morning!” Mel spat “good morning friend” sitting down on the lounger, a little sore I would say. I can feel it now, the soreness “damn” I breathed out “mhmmm so how is Mexico? Spill the tea, unless Chris is there?” I smirked “he is asleep, I think I wore him out. I wore him out, you know” I can’t stop smiling “wore him out? How did he take the handcuffs?” I giggled “he uhm at first didn’t trust me, made me twirl around with my booty out. And I just used my cute face, he agreed but he was annoyed. His wrists were sore, so he says. But it was good, we had a good night. I did think I would be sleeping with him but I woke up early and I am talking to you. I actually wore him out, girl I was riding him but then I took the handcuffs off him and he gripped me to the bed” Mel screamed down the phone and so did I “you are having the time of your life! How many times!?” she half shouted “girl, I don’t know. I think he came about six times; I don’t know. Maybe it was pre-cum but I got him good, one minute I want to light my blunt” placing the phone down, I am so happy like I feel so good, I want to ride him right now.

Blowing the smoke out from my lips “I am back girl, but yeah. Its wild but my sex drive has been turned on and I can’t stop, I orgasm so hard. Bitch, I do!” Mel can’t stop laughing “the fuck has happened to you? Like seriously? You and Rakim didn’t have any sex, the hell. What changed” I shrugged “because I fancy my man, my best friend, my childhood lover. He is everything I have wanted Mel and I am happy. Oh and” placing the blunt between my lips “oh and what bitch? Girl you are bad, like forget him biting your damn neck, you are the worst now. Out of nowhere” blowing the smoke out from my lips “I ain’t taking the pill, I have been off for like six or seven weeks now” the phone went silent “you both playing with fire!?” Mel shouted “well me, but I want a baby” I am being deadass “wait, hold on Robyn. Baby, what the fuck is happening? What do you mean me? Chile, you have a career. You are doing it at the wrong time, why are you doing this?” they going to call me crazy “I just want to be a mother, I couldn’t care less for this life Mel. I am happy to be not famous, I am content with this” Mel is speechless I get it but I want a baby, I want to have a baby with him “and Chris is ok with this?” clearing my throat “maybe not but he will be fine, if it happens then it happens. Chris says no but then he gets over it, I want to be a young mother Mel. I can still do all this shit; I just want to have a family. I want a husband, I just want the family I didn’t get, and I will do everything I can do keep that” Mel doesn’t approve clearly “he deserves to know” Mel mumbled “when it happens, I am telling you about this situation and that is it” she needs to accept it.

Placing my hand on his chest and pecking his lips “Chris, baby. Wake up” a smile formed on his face, he is awake “wake up my love” pressing a kiss to his lips “morning” he said groggily “I want this every waking morning, for you to be in my bed. Wake up, I am waiting to have something to eat ok?” Chris nodded his head and stretched out his body, he is so sexy. Shuffling off of the bed, he will come when he is ready, let me go and wait for him. Smiling wide walking over to the dining table, I am so in love and if they think I won’t drop my career, I would. Maybe I am crazy in love, I feel it but I just want him” pulling the chair back, sitting down slowly. I am still a little sore, I do understand Mel is not happy with me but if Chris and I did make it when we were younger, my life would have been so different, his life would be. He would have been famous; I just know it. I have been off the pill for a while now and I am just thinking when will I get caught but I got a little feeling in my stomach, I think maybe it’s just me but I am late with my period and I haven’t said anything, leaving it in god’s hands if I am, then I am.

Here is my lazy man, look at him half sleepy “I smell like you, sniff my face” Chris leaned into me, sniffing his face “it smells divine” I snorted laughing “not wrong though, smells wonderful. Love you though” he pulled the chair out “so, gather yourself together so we can go and explore together as a couple. Take you to some spots that I like, I know you will love it” Chris cooed out shuffling his chair in “I am here for it, I am going to tan while I am out here. I look a little tanned, but I need it more. I am too light skinned right?” he isn’t wrong “so can I, remember when I started getting so pale because of how cold it was in Virginia? You called me Casper” Chris busted out laughing “oh shit, I did. Casper the green eyed ghost, oh my god. How do I come out with such shit and you don’t whoop my ass about it. I have called you a lot of things, it’s crazy because we have done so much together in such little time. Wild” watching Chris pour the OJ into the glass “that is because we spent every day together Chris, weekend included. Was you intrigued by me?” tilting my head to the side “I was, like I ain’t ever seen a forehead that big” hitting his arm “why do you have to be this way” I chuckled “I am joking but yeah, you were different. You are from the islands and your accent, your face, your small titties. It just caught me” I swear, I hate him “you’re so annoying, mr I am tired. You are so weak” kissing my teeth “you know how hard I came!? You know how much strength it takes from me to ejaculate!? Not my fault you don’t have an off switch” he is not wrong I don’t “not my fault I be feeling horny” annoying ass.

The many reasons why I love coming to Mexico is because I get to do what I like without having my bodyguard around, I don’t get harassed at all “where we going again? I don’t remember you mentioning it” I actually did but he doesn’t remember “so we are going to Gran Cenote, Best Cenote in Tulum, just you and I and good vibes. Honestly you will love it” I am saying this but I haven’t been there, I just got Jen to research it and it sounded good “been there before” see how I knew he would ask that “no” I couldn’t help but smile because he got me “but you know it’s good” waving him off “don’t be so negative” Chris snorted laughing “it’s ok, I trust you. To be honest I would be happy to be just in that beautiful home you got us in, it’s amazing” then it came to me, he is wearing jeans “Chris, did you bring any other clothes? How are you wearing jeans in this heat” I should have done a spot check on his clothes, I am so dumb “mhmm, what is wrong with jeans?” is he hot or cold “because we are on holiday together and it’s hot here! You should be wearing light colours, I can only imagine how heated it is around your dick, you are so musty. So you got nothing else?” he shook his head “you know what, I will get the driver to take us to get you some swimming trunks, you will need it. I promise you” Chris sighed out, he is annoyed but he is actually the annoying one wearing jeans and a tee but I love him, including his stupidity “excuse me” the driver looked in his rear-view mirror “before we get there can you take us to get some clothes, men’s please” I was expecting Chris to refuse but he didn’t, he knows he is stupid but my fault I should have checked before going with him.

The driver took us to this very cute boutique, I am impressed “thank you” I said to the driver “you don’t need to walk us in” I think I will walk with my stupid boyfriend here, the store assistant eyes widened but she bowed her head “welcome, welcome” stepping into the store “hi” the guy behind the cashier desk came up to us “welcome to Crasqi Rihanna, I am Viktor” he shook my hand, I assumed he was going to be Mexican but no, just a regular American, maybe he moved here. He shook Chris’ hand “Chris” looking around the store “Viktor, welcome” stepping to the side “my boyfriend here decided to wear jeans when we are going to Gran Cenote” the guy chuckled “well you come to the right place, we have the full range. Are you looking to swim” nodding my head “I am, and he will be but he isn’t saying much, speak up” looking behind me “yeah” Chris side eyed me, but he is stupid “I want to get him a few swim shorts and some pants for this weather too, he is ok with top but if you can show him the range and he can change into it. Also you got slides?” I would like to kick Chris, he looks like a goof “come right this way” gesturing Chris to go ahead of me, he can choose what he wants.

Chris has gone to change into the shorts, least he is wearing a tee but I do understand Chris. He doesn’t have holiday clothes because he hasn’t been away like that that so I won’t keep bringing it up with him because if so, he will end up being angry at me about it but he really needs to know how to dress. I wonder if he will let me pay, I doubt it but I won’t be pushing him about it if he wants to do it “he is taking him time” I said laughing, he is taking ages “I am done” he walked out of the dressing room with his shorts on and tee “see, you look better. You got your stick legs out and everything” looking down to his feet “I bet your feet feel free, maybe put your socks on under the slides, give me your clothes” walking over to him, taking his jeans and sneakers from him “my feet ugly?” shaking my head smiling “you can take them off when we get there, do it” Chris nodded his head “you can sit here sir and do it” Viktor gestured him too “thank you” while he is doing that I can go and pay, he won’t notice and this will be nothing anyways.

Folding his jeans while back in the car “taking care of me?” Chris grinned at me, smiling lightly at him “I am, there is a reason why I do at times buy on the go. Different climates, if I am going Barbados I know how to dress there but mainly if I am on the road and I am in Europe, it’s unpredictable so I just kind of buy on the go. You will get used to it” placing his folded jeans on my lap “it’s Texas, you know. I don’t be predicting things. I am a simple man Robyn, my bad” he shrugged “stop it, it’s fine Chris. I want to spoil you” Chris sighed out “you paid too, thank you. For everything, you really opening my eyes to things and just the simple fact you got my legend Lebron to say that to me and now this, thank you. I find it hard sometimes. Sometimes I want to be like no but I remembered I said I would let you. If I see it as Robyn I am cool, still a little freaked out about Rihanna, I mean ask the driver. Can you imagine that you got Rihanna here” he is so stupid “speechless friend” Chris eyeballed me “see!” shaking my head “stop it” I mumbled, I would like to say for him to get over it but I can’t, that would be rude of me because it is new to him still.

Getting out of the car “Miss Fenty, I am guide” the guy didn’t wait a second “hi” I smiled, throwing Chris’ jeans in the backseat “I am Juan, welcome” pulling down my beach dress “thank you” smiling at him, looking to the side of me and Chris finally appeared “I am your guide” he shook Chris’ hand “nice to meet you” Chris said and then looked at me “what?” I shook my head “is it far this place?” he asked, I knew he would “like wearing slides won’t hurt?” the guy looked down at Chris “I understand what you mean, no it’s not far. I am taking you there and that is it. We usually do a longer version, but it’s personalised to you Rihanna” he smiled at me, like the type of smile you give to someone you love, holding onto Chris’ hand “miss Fenty would you like me to come with as protection?” the driver thinks he is my bodyguard “no we are fine, let’s go Juan. I am sure Chris will protect me” Chris rolled his eyes “did you put sun cream on?” I asked him, I mean I thin I know the answer “no” I knew it “you’re a good boy” I said through gritted teeth.

This is so amazing, like I haven’t been here “Gran Cenote is comprised of a river like open air cenote flanked by two snorkelling areas and surrounded by caves and caverns” there is literally a hug gap in the cave, and I can see the crystal clear water, it’s a little scary to look down. I let out a scream as Chris jokingly pushed me “idiot” Juan laughed “Rihanna you would be fine, you can free dive off this, nothing would happen to you” I don’t think so, is he crazy “these are water-filled sinkholes that naturally occur in limestone rock when an underground cave collapses in on itself and exposes the groundwater underneath. There are thousands of cenotes dotted around but you can free dive, it’s not high at all, it looks it but you can jump in” looking at Chris “let’s do it” frowning at Chris “uhm, I mean I can swim but still, I mean I am used to the water” Chris wants to do it “are you sure it’s safe? I mean the water is so clear, but we won’t die? It is deep enough” Juan placed his hand over his heart “I would not danger Rihanna, I promise you. I have done it myself, see the couple across there, watch them do it” the guy just did a little run and jumped down, my eyes widened watching him free fall down and then splashed “it’s not far down” he says that but, is the guy even alive but he is. His head popped up from the water “then you climb up the stairs back here, I promise it is fun” I am between saying no and wanting to do it, looks fun” if I don’t I know Chris will.

I feel so nervous “you won’t let go of my hand right? You won’t let me drown either? You promise, if you let my hand go I will cry” Chris laughed “promise, when I count to three we both run and jump?” I feel the adrenalin right now in my body, I am nervous “I will video you both running, when you ready!” Juan shouted, I told him to video us “not let my hand go” I said again” Chris laughed “I promise, right? I am going to start counting. So one, two, three” Chris moved but I didn’t, I was testing him and he stopped “what?” I snorted laughing “I was testing to see if you did hold my hand and not let go, seriously. I am a little scared, like still?” Chris groaned out “baby, it’s fine. You spider monkey, you will climb anything. We start again and you count, I promise I got you” now we got to start again, hearing a little cheering. Then I see that couple just cheering on, I wish they didn’t “fine, one… two… three” Chris and I started to run and then we both jumped, feeling myself fall and I let out the loudest scream I could.

I can’t believe I just did that, looking “you did it!!” Juan shouted, feeling Chris pull me to him “that was nothing, I want to do it again actually” wrapping my arms around his neck “this is nice, look at it” looking around us, this is really a cave too. Chris pressed kisses to the side of my face “this water is so clear” looking to him “it is, see I told you I got you. I didn’t even let go of your hand but I think I fell in deeper than you, I am fat” he chuckled “my ass, you just a man” pressing a kiss to his lips “I liked it though, and I got to do it with you. Makes it even better, let’s go to see the guide. Before we just stay here forever” Chris moved to swim away, I did think he would let my hand go but he didn’t. He pulled me along “you can swim?” I said confused “mhmmm no, I seen it on films. I ain’t scared of it, I got you” I like that, turns me on actually. He yanked me ahead of him “climb up then” I love a protective man; he is the best.

Taking a sip from the cocktail, I am tired, and I didn’t even do anything “we made memories” Chris passed my phone back “we did, good video. I feel like this is our honeymoon” I really do “it does, I was thinking the same thing “we think alike, that is twin behaviour” I pointed to him “we see each other” I giggled “we do, so when you go back to Cali you doing what?” he asked “rehearsals, few days. Because I am using old content I don’t need to really do anything big, then rest day and then I am off to my first date. Hopefully you are coming? You are staying with me right?” I want him to just stay “uhhh no, what I am thinking is to go back to Virginia, see my family. Go to Texas and then me and the boys meet you there. I want to see my mom before going, she keeps asking. She misses me” I don’t want to sound selfish, but I will “fine, you are coming though yes?” he nodded his head “I am, promise. Then while I am there I can catch up on my social media things. I know like things are a little wild, I see people using my mug shot too. Rihanna got a thug in her life, they don’t like that I am a soft nigga, I ain’t like I was but what can I do to stop it you know” squinting at him “does it bug you? With what they are saying, they don’t know you and I am not even give then content, I will post when I need too, I think once I start doing my promo for the album the question will come up and I am going to tell them what kind of man I got in my life, you’re the sweetest guy” Chris put his head down smiling, he is so sweet.

[yandere-society]

Day 11 | Santa Tell Me

Synopsis: You’ve always been strangely scared of Santa as a child. The thought of a stranger in heavy boots breaking into your home and rummaging through your stuff has always terrified you. And you felt that terror right now, in this instant, as you laid there with two men in bright green suits hovering over your pretend-sleeping form.

The 12 Days of Black Christmas Event Masterlist

Pairing: Vmin x Female Reader

Admin: @roses-ruby​​

Trigger warnings: Yandere themes, bad crack, attempted kidnapping, stalking, stupid jokes, joke about religion, swearing, bad mouthing Santa 

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

You really hated Christmas.

You hated everything that had to do with Christmas. All the sugary deserts, the unhealthy binging, the fake family bonding and seasonal depression longing. The freezing weather that froze your toes and pipes, the blinding red and greens, otherwise known as holiday delights. The overzealous consumerism around every corner, the empty materialism that gave everyone boners. The deforestation and self-righteousness, the ugly sweaters and proud religious mess. You hated Christmas and its warping spider’s net and all the very, merry, happy, holy, holly, jolly shit that went along with it.  

It wasn’t like you ever had a good Christmas to change your mind. When you were six, every girl at school had the brand-new light up Princess Dolly sneakers for Christmas but thanks to your skinflint of a dad, you got the direct knock off; Princess Polly sneakers. Polly with a PUH. They didn’t even fucking light up. To this day you get nightmares from the bullying. At 15, you got typhoid fever before the big ski vacation and while everyone else got to go have the time of their life, you were stuck rotting at home with your weird cousin Sigil who collected the dead skins from snake sheds. And just last year, at an unbearably boring office party, your ex best friend and crush made out under the mistletoe for 15. Whole. Minutes. Last you heard of them, they were engaged.

Let’s not even start about your irrational fear of Santa Claus. Every bad Christmas could be traced back to him. You cried the first time you heard your dad describe the bearded old man. Your reaction confused the hell out of him but to you, he was the strange one. What kind of parent allows an overgrown, capitalist bear man who dresses in red and brainwashes elf and reindeer to come into their home using the chimney and spy on their kids throughout the whole year? Was he a sadist? When you were younger, you would wet the bed just thinking of him stomping around your house in the dark. Safe to say, you never left him any cookies. Now, you’re just glad you grew out of the phase of believing in such a horrid creature like Santa Claus. Finally, you could sleep happy knowing that no one would sneak into your house in the middle of the night.

So, while we’re on that topic…who exactly were the two men whispering in the dark inside your room if it’s definitely not Santa?

“We have to quickly get back before he notices we’re missing. QUICKLY, Taehyung.”

“I know, I know. Let me just untangle this rope, Jimin.”

Who the fuck were Taeyoong and Jimmy and what the fuck were they doing in your house? That’s what you were thinking as you laid on your bed pretending to be asleep, absolutely still in the complete dark. Of course, you had a break in on the night of Christmas because why the fuck not. What made you think this one year, your Christmas day would turn out okay?

You were stuck even further because you lost the window of opportunity to wake up and startle the intruders and perhaps scream for help because since the moment they snuck in (3 minutes ago) you did nothing but lay there listening to their banter like the idiot you are. Maybe you could pretend all their ‘noise’ woke you up, but then again you weren’t too fond of your acting skills.

But honestly, who were they? What did they want? Why did they keep mentioning returning before this ‘he’ found out they were gone?

As you were pondering your crisis, someone blew straight into your ear. You shot up from the bed with a scream and immediately turned on the lamp beside you. Two men in strange green tunics and stockings, pointy ears, and tall hats with a bell stare back at you with an equally horrified expression.

They were dressed up as…elves?

“See, I told you she was awake.” The one on your right, resembling a small animal, possibly the bastard who blew in your ear, chirps.

“Wow, you really do have night vision, Jiminie.” The taller one behind the edge of your bed, the one holding a rope says, while staring at you in a daze.

“Who the fuck are you both? How did you get in? What do you want?” You shout, bringing your comforter to your chest.

All they do is stare at you with lovesick eyes to which you scowl. Hold on, why were your potential murderers so hot?

“_-___,” The one on the right calls you carefully. He had round and soft features with a sharp jaw. Slender eyes and bright pink hair matching his rosy cheeks on his otherwise cute pale face. “It’s an honor to finally meet you…my name is J-Jimin.”

“I’m Taehyung.” You turn to the man with the rope. His features were extremely well proportioned and downright lethal. A devilishly handsome face, beautiful golden skin and dark brown mopy hair. He appeared and sounded like a mature sugar daddy but stared at you like a 12-year-old pervert.

You sat silent after the two men’s greetings. What were you supposed to say after intruders introduced themselves? Nice to meet you? And how did they know your name?

“…O-Okay…Jimin, Taehyung…why are you in my house.”

“We’re here to kidnap you.” Jimin smiles, his eyes turning into crescents.

“E…Excuse me?”

“Yeah! We’re here because we love you and we want you for ourselves, so we have to take you from your home.” Taehyung says, stretching the rope in his hands.

“WHAT?” You couldn’t believe your ears. Did you perhaps start hallucinating after your edible once again? Because that would explain this crazy ass dream you were having right now. Since when did you have an elf kink though?

“So you see,” Jimin begins walking to stand beside Taehyung so now they were both in front of you, “We’re Santa’s elves. We were the ones assigned to watch over you, see if you were naughty or nice.”

“Pfft, you’re very naughty~” Taehyung giggles, blushing like crazy. You raise an eyebrow at him.

“And over the years,” Jimin continues, “We came to fall in love with you to the point of obsession. So now we want to kidnap you and take you to the north pole where we three will live in a polyamorous relationship and only me and Taehyung will get to be with you.”

“We’ll fuck every day.” Taehyung chimes in proudly, earning a smack to the back of his head from Jimin who mutters ‘not yet.’

“Ahahaha, what Taehyung meant was…of course any sexual relationship would be consensual. No means no, after all.” Jimin winks awkwardly

You just sat there, mouth wide open as your brain refused to process all the information that was just presented to you. So not only were your intruders dressed up as elves, but they were also clinically insane.

“I’m calling the cops.”

“W-wait! We can prove it to you!” Jimin jumps, rushing back to your side. “When you were 10, you really wanted a MayaMaya doll collection set didn’t you? You didn’t tell your dad about it because you thought he would get you the knock off; the Papaya doll collection. It was the first and only time you were okay with Santa coming into your house, so you didn’t even set the bear trap in the fireplace like you did every year.”

He was right. What the fuck.

“W…how did you know that?”

“We saw you.” Jimin says, eyes soft and smile tender, “You were wishing so earnestly that Christmas Eve, it almost made me cry.”

“W…wait so…Santa is real?”

“Of course.” They sang in unison

“Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, time out.” You huff, “He’s been real this whole time, yet he’s never gotten me what I wanted for Christmas?”

“Oh, my love.” Taehyung strides up and sits on your side of the bed, taking your hand in his. “It was out of our hands…we tried to get you on the nice list, but he could sense your bad vibes…also I’m pretty sure he was salty you never left him cookies. He is sort of petty.”

“So you’re telling me that hippy bitch Claire really did deserved that large purple dollhouse more than me?”

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, she hasn’t been on the nice list for a long time now…all she asks for are sex toys.” Taehyung stares off into the distance.

“How long have ya’ll been watching me?”

“We are supposed to stop once a kid doesn’t believe in Santa anymore...but we were just always rooting for you. Before we knew it, we were watching you way into adulthood...and then slowly we started falling in love with you.” Jimin blushes

“...Have ya’ll seen me-”

“Naked? No...but we really want to.” Taehyung bites his bottom lip.

“I can’t believe this…” You groan, placing a palm over your forehead.

“Hey now, Jesus didn’t die today for you to be full of despair.” The taller elf rubs your hand with his thumb

“No, you idiot. He was born today…I think.” Jimin tsks

“Oh…well the point still stands. Don’t be sad my love. We never want you to have a bad Christmas again.”

“Anyway, we should hurry before Santa notices we abandoned him. That ass-kisser Jin also tagged along so we don’t have to worry too much about our portion of the presents since he would love to show off how competent he is to Santa all by himself. We can just say we ran a bit late because some kid almost woke up.” Jimin tells Taehyung to which he nods, getting his rope ready.

Oh right, this was a kidnapping. You forgot.

“___, just stay perfectly still and we’ll easily load you into the bottom of Santa’s gift sack. That thing is huge, no one will notice but us.”

“Guys, wait.” You say to which they freeze. “Let me think about this.”

They look at you with pleading puppy dog eyes and you start to contemplate it. Should you go with the two elves that barged into your house and tried to kidnap you and possibly turn you into a sex slave?

…

What were the pros and cons?

If you go to the North Pole, you’d basically be stuck with everything you hate about Christmas all year round. But could it be that bad seeing how smoking these two elves were? They could easily keep you warm. Were all elves this hot? Wait…could Santa possibly be hot? Your mouth watered thinking about it. Is this an enemies to lovers AU after all?

Whatever it was, it was interesting and more importantly you had a lot of unfinished business with the man in red. You could see it now, forming a mutiny with all the elves. Killing Claus and taking over his empire. Then it would be you who rules Christmas and boy, do you have a few changes you wanted to make like the beginning of this story states. Finally, all your wishes will come true. This time you WILL get the light up Princess Dolly sneakers and MayaMaya doll collection set.

And so, with a sinister plot forming in your head, you smile at the two eager elves in front of you.

“Alright boys, let’s go.”

Maybe this Christmas won’t be so bad after all.

[rennyforpresident]

Renny’s BBSim: Second Chances Week 9: [Title Redacted]

Welcome back to Biiiiiiiiig Brother!

@brentrobinson​ @cirie-sandra-michaela​ @flopbb-22​ @flungevictee​ @iantxrry​ @kaysarswhore​ @maxdoesbb​ @music-obsessednerd​ @pawn2393​ @paymeincashnottears​ @rennyforpresident​ @swampassthing​  @wheremy--demons--hide​

Jury:  @theminionjcfucked​ @fucklauryn​ @phylisisley​

Last week, in a shocking turn of events, @swampassthing broke the tie to evict @phylisisley from the BB house. What transpired right before that shocking decision?

@flopbb-22, in the bathroom 15 minutes before the live show: “ @swampassthing, come here quick. I need to talk to you.

Listen, I know you have no reason to believe me, but there is no one in this house who has your back, and you know that. @phylisisley will tell you until the end of the day that she has your back, but she will sell you down the river quicker than you can say “Nominated”. You know how I know? She told me your secrets. Yeah, she told me all about the fact that you’ve been throwing comps, you’ve been hiding people’s things, you’ve been rating the people in the house on a scale of 1 through 10 based on hotness and that @cirie-sandra-michaela is a 9. I know it all because she told me. Do with that what you will, but remember that if she stays tonight.”

@swampassthing in the DR before the HOH competition: “*through tears* I trusted her! We had a bond! The fact that she was double crossing me? I had to vote her out, there was no way I could leave her in here after that. I hope she thinks long and hard about what friendship means in the jury house. God, I feel so stupid.”

After the shocking vote, the house is split down the middle, yet again (can y’all get it together for ONE WEEK). And the drama doesn’t end there.

@pawn2393 doesn’t feel supported by her allies. Every time they’ve been in danger, he’s been there for them, but this past week, when his life was on the line, they sat by and watched. He still wants to keep them close, so there’s no dramatic breakup, but he doesn’t feel like he’s a part of the alliance anymore.

Houseguests line up to compete, and this one is gonna be tough. After 10 minutes,

@paymeincashnottears gets to open a prize box! Her box contains a card that says “HAVE-NOT”. She will be the only have-not this week.

At 32 minutes in,

@iantxrry‘s box contains $5,000! Congratulations!

The last box-opener, falling at 41 minutes, is,

@maxdoesbb, your box contains the “BB BullSpit” costume! You will be dressed as a bull for the rest of the week.

After the last box is opened, another houseguest says, I’m done, I don’t have to worry about sabotage now, so I’m out.”

@flopbb-22 is OUT!

It’s the former alliance of three left! No doubt, they’ll all probably keep each other safe, but @cirie-sandra-michaela desperately wants his first comp win. The winner, after 2 hours and 5 minutes, is...

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

@cirie-sandra-michaela! You have won safety for the week, and earned the right to nominate two houseguests for eviction.

A newcomer to the HOH suite! @cirie-sandra-michaela is still aligned with @kaysarswhore, and is still close with @pawn2393, but the rest of the house is a little on edge, not knowing where they stand.

At the nomination ceremony....

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

@cirie-sandra-michaela: “I have decided to nominate you @iantxrry, and you @paymeincashnottears. At this point, it’s clear who’s on which side of the house. You both seem like floaters to me. At this point in the game, it’s put up or shut up, so I want to see the two of you play!”

@iantxrry in the DR: “I knew this was coming. @cirie-sandra-michaela isn’t on my side, and I can’t trust him as far as I can throw him. This veto is MINE, and then the power won’t be in the other side’s hands”

@paymeincashnottears: “So now I’m the threat? The girl who hasn’t won anything? Who hasn’t been called into the DR until two weeks ago? There’s no way I can possibly be voted out.”

We’ll see about THAT, @paymeincashnottears!

@cirie-sandra-michaela picks their alliance partner, @kaysarswhore to participate, and does a little happy dance after drawing her chip. @iantxrry picks @flopbb-22 and does what can only be described as a sad dance. She really needed @maxdoesbb to play in the comp, but it’s fine. @paymeincashnottears picks @swampassthing to play, and now everyone knows it’s game on: the Veto Queen is here.

This comp requires agility and focus, some things that some of these houseguests struggle with. Who will rise to the occasion? And more importantly, who will flop?

Once everyone has competed, @maxdoesbb reads the results.

With a time of 18:55

@iantxrry laughs off her loss, but spends a solid half hour screaming in the DR to let out her frustrations.

With a time of 9:03

@flopbb-22: “I thought I threw this comp really bad, but I didn’t realize someone could go as slow as @iantxrry did”

With a time of 6:21

@paymeincashnottears in the DR: “*crying* I hate this stupid house! Why can’t I win anything??? I’ve tried so hard in every comp but a win never finds its way to me. If I go home before winning, I’ll LOSE IT”

@swampassthing has been known to make moves before; will she do it again? @cirie-sandra-michaela and @kaysarswhore both want the power to stay in their hands; can they make it happen?

With a time of 5:58

@kaysarswhore yells “Fuck!” after seeing her time, knowing she fumbled the ball. She wanted this POV more than anything, and she desperately didn’t want the power to fall into the other side’s hands

With a time of 5:31, and the winner of the Golden Power of Veto...

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

@cirie-sandra-michaela! You went from never having won a comp to winning two in one week!

@cirie-sandra-michaela in the DR: “This veto is EVERYTHING! Y’all thought I wasn’t playing the game? Who’s not playing now? These floaters need to learn that to win this, you have to fight. I wanna see them FIGHT!”

Sights set on the other side of the house, will @cirie-sandra-michaela change his nominees to target someone else?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

With nominations locked in, the houseguests anxiously await Julie to tell them that it’s eviction night.

But with the pressure of being on the block on eviction night, some people begin to lose their cool.

Later that night, after the veto ceremony, @pawn2393 is exercising in the backyard, running laps around the pool. @paymeincashnottears is trying to read in one of the lawn chairs.

@paymeincashnottears: “Can you stop making so much noise? It’s really fucking aggravating”

@pawn2393: “I’m literally just running? I’ve done this every night since I’ve been here, if you don’t like it, go inside.”

@paymeincashnottears: “Fine, I will, bitch.”

Upon the b-bomb being dropped, @pawn2393 yells, “The sad thing was I was gonna vote to keep you! Have fun at jury, tell @phylisisley I said hi!”

Later on, @pawn2393 goes to her former ally and still friend, @kaysarswhore with her problem. Well you know @kaysarswhore isn’t gonna take this shit lying down

@kaysarswhore: “If you wanna talk shit, do it with everybody around! Don’t be a fucking coward!”

(please don’t flip another GODDAMN mattress)

The two get really heated, almost coming to blows, but production calls it off before it can get that far. 

Realizing her terrible mistake, @paymeincashnottears makes the split decision to call everyone to the living room.

@paymeincashnottears: “I am so sorry for my behavior tonight. @pawn2393, I lashed out at you because I’m stressed being in this house on the block. I never meant to make it personal, and I hope you know that I mean that. @kaysarswhore, you’re a good person and I should have never have called you all those horrible things I did earlier. You’re not a loser who reminds me of a child beauty pageant hopeful that never caught her break. You’re so much better than that, and I mean it!”

Everyone gives @paymeincashnottears a big hug afterwards, and everyone goes to bed a little happier.

The next day,

@maxdoesbb continues to put in the work to make sure he’s protected from all angles. He’s not letting his relationship with @kaysarswhore slip away from him just because she has a new final 2 deal with the current HOH.

Live footage of @maxdoesbb in the house seen below:

Fast forward to eviction night!

Julie: “Hello houseguests! I have a hot date right after the taping tonight, so no time for questions! I wanna hear those speeches quick!”

@iantxrry: “I am not a floater. I took out one of the biggest targets in this house when I was Head of Household, and I’ve been nothing but loyal to my side of the house. It’s not my fault we suck at competitions. @cirie-sandra-michaela will be my ONLY target moving forward. I can’t trust you, I don’t like you, and if I get voted out tonight, I will not be voting for you to win a half a million dollars. Everyone else, I hope you vote to keep me, but I look forward to seeing all of you walk into jury after me otherwise. Love y’all!”

@paymeincashnottears: “Well, getting screentime for the first time all season really shook me up, but I want to let you guys know I’m solid now! I’ve been loyal to who I said I was going to be loyal to, and I promise I’ll win my first comp soon! If not, I’ll be happy to let you all keep beating me!”

Julie: “Why did you all talk for so long?? Didn’t I say make it quick? Anyway, time to vote!”

The first vote is to evict @iantxrry. You’re the bigger threat on the block, and there’s no way @flopbb-22 is gonna vote out the other no-comp-winner in the house.

@kaysarswhore thinks that @paymeincashnottears is fake as hell. She didn’t buy that fake ass apology she gave after their fight, and she won’t ever forgive her for calling her cast photo on the memory wall ugly. 

@swampassthing is focused on winning comps and making it to the end with someone easy to beat. @iantxrry is the bigger comp threat, and @paymeincashnottears is the easier player to beat. Win-win

@pawn2393 joins her BFF @kaysarswhore in voting out @paymeincashnottears. After their blowout, there’s just no going back.

Which means @maxdoesbb, will be breaking this tie. Who will he vote out of the house?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Even though @maxdoesbb loves @iantxrry like a sister, he needs @paymeincashnottears to go so that there’s a bigger social threat than him in the house. His rat game depends on it!

Julie: “When I read the name of the evicted houseguest, they will have one minute to gather their belongings, say their goodbyes, and exit the Big Brother house.”

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Julie: “@iantxrry, come on out!”

Julie: “ @iantxrry, why are you sitting here? You were in such a good position!”

@iantxrry: “I know! I’m royally pissed at @cirie-sandra-michaela, because I knew the second he won, he’d put me up. We never really meshed, and he saw me as his biggest competition on the other side of the house.”

Julie: “There’s been so much talk about sides of the house. Who was on your side?”

@iantxrry: “Well, at the end there, it was really just me, @paymeincashnottears, @maxdoesbb​ and @swampassthing. It was an even 4-4, and now my side is down a number. I’m hoping those guys can pick up the pace and take the power back! I’d vote for any one of them.”

Julie: “Well we’ll see just who you’re voting for back here on finale night. Thank you so much for playing again.

There’s only 7 players left, and just 4 weeks until finale night! Who will come out victorious, and who will become the fifth member of our jury? Find out next time. From outside the Big Brother house, I’m Julie Chen. Goodnight.”

Some of y’all really decided to lose your damn minds this week, but I also wrote this at like 1am so we’ll see who gets taken out next!!

[imagine-mr-markus]

Birthday Candles

I had to write sumn for my fave Dad on his birthday, but i got a teeeensy bit distracted watching Hellbenders so its a leedol late, sorry! But yes, here we have some tasty tasty fluff of my boys in honour of The Birthday. And not an all an apology for the fact that the next two I’m working on are just Angst of my Cyberlife Boys, absolutely not

Hank Anderson, at the ripe age of 53 and 364 days, fucking hated birthdays. Hated the smell of cake and frosting and the cheerful wishes of others. What he hated most about them, however, was the birthday candles. The smell of them, the sight of them, even the fucking mention of them was enough to sour his mood beyond recognition, no matter how good it had been before. It hadn't always been like that; in fact, it had only been like that for two years and three hundred and twenty-nine days. Twenty-five thousand, four hundred and sixteen hours. One million, five hundred and twenty-four thousand, nine hundred and sixty seconds. The calculations flash irritatingly behind his eyes like they always have, and he shakes his head as his mood dips. He knows exactly why he hates those brightly coloured little sticks of wax so vehemently.

 They'd been Cole’s favourite.

 It had been a kinda stupid tradition his own mother had started when he was a kid to wake him up at exactly midnight on his birthday with a cake. There would always be another cake later, one for the party and the guests, but at midnight, when the world was quiet and the lights were out, it was just for the two of them to sit and eat a slice after he'd eagerly blown out the candles. Melissa had thought it was the cutest shit to grace this earth and had insisted on carrying on the tradition after they started dating, and he could easily admit that it was appreciated. It'd been part of what kept them together in the long stretch of time when they'd nearly fallen apart after pregnancy test after pregnancy test came back negative. But no matter how bad the fight, every birthday was ushered in with birthday candles and cake at midnight. It had only gotten better after Cole was born, the joy of the new baby and their much firmer foundation on marriage making for a much more relaxed morning. As soon as Cole had seen birthday candles, he’d been enraptured in the way only a child could be, and the new tradition that Cole always helped blow out the candles was born. For a solid portion of his life, Hank’s favourite smell in the world was the smell of the sweet smoke from the vibrant little pillars of wax.

 But not anymore. Not for one thousand and fifty-nine days.

 In the time Connor had been living with him, two hundred and ninety-eight days, his brain helpfully supplies, he's gotten much better at dealing with problems without the use of alcohol. In fact, he hasn't had anything stronger than a beer in months. But tonight, tonight the bar looks more tempting than he'd ever care to admit. He tilts his head slightly as he eyes his keys, fingers itching to make a break for it before Connor gets home. He could do it. Could grab his keys and be out the door. Connor would be disappointed, but he'd understand. Connor was good like that. He could-

The sound of the door startles him out of his reverie, the excited tapping of big paws on the floor following soon after.

 “We're home!”

 Hank turns away from his keys abruptly, mustering a smile as he looks towards the Android stood in the doorway.

 “Hey, Connor. How was your walk?”

 The kid offers him a smile before he bends to undo Sumo’s leash.

 “It was good! It's getting chilly out, but the leaves are starting to change! I like the orange ones best.”

 Some of Hank’s misery eases at Connor’s easy enthusiasm, and his smile is more genuine.

 “That's good. I like the orange ones too.”

 He pauses a moment to gather himself, mentally flipping the bird at his cravings for booze before continuing.

 “So, whaddaya want for dinner?”

 Connor doesn't need to eat, but after the revolution Kamski whipped up some fancy ass robotics that allows him to if he wants. It's nice to sit and eat with somebody again, even if the kid is way too addicted to coffee now that he can taste it. Connor tilts his head as he moves towards the kitchen, an easy grin pulling at his mouth.

 “Can we get Chinese?”

 Hank shakes his head fondly at the kid. Another one of his favourites was Chinese takeaway, and they'd eaten it with fair regularity. Although, Hank is kinda grateful. The kid’s been trying to learn to cook, but his skills aren't…. incredibly tasty as he insists on doing it ‘the human way’. The familiarity of it all helps ease the weight on his lungs, helps pull some of the itch from his fingertips.

 “Yeah, Con. We can get Chinese.”

  _____________________________________________

 “Hank, wake up!”

 His eyes snap open at the sound of Connor’s voice, hand going for his gun as he searches for what made the kid wake him.

 “What is it? What's wrong?”

 “Nothing. Happy birthday!”

 He looks at Connor properly, taking in the sight of the kid grinning at him excitedly from beside his bed. He's dressed in Hank’s old clothes, a hoodie too big even for him swallowing the Android whole and pair of ratty flannel pants from Hank’s much younger days hanging off his frame. He's got flour down his front and a streak of bright blue frosting on his forehead, LED shining a bright, contented blue at his temple as his eyes sparkle with excitement in a warm, flickering light. And before he even looks down at what he's holding, Hank knows it's cake adorned with candles. He can smell it, the sugary sweetness clinging to the back of his throat and the scent of melting wax in his nose. A sharp pang of something ugly strikes at his chest, a deep hurt pulsing behind his ribs and a flare of an irrational fury between his lungs. He can feel his face twist with it, and he sees Connor’s expression fall as his LED spins yellow.

 “Did…. did I do something wrong? I thought this is what family did on birthdays.”

 The kid looks heartbroken at the thought that he fucked up, doe eyes falling to look at the cake as his mouth turns down like he's about to cry. The expression pulls at that softness in him he had kept buried for so long, the gentle instinct to comfort and console. It was an instinct he'd always had; part of the reason people had been surprised he'd taken the promotions from beat cop upwards when he was one of the few cops who could handle kids well. It was where he'd gotten the idea for kids of his own, and that feeling had only grown exponentially once he did have a kid. Melissa had been a great mother, but it had always been Hank who would roll out of bed whenever Cole cried in the night, and Cole had very clearly been Daddy’s Boy. Melissa used to joke that if they ever had another she had dibs, but the fact remains that Hank has always been better with kids because he's a fucking bleeding heart who can never turn down a crying child. And he may logically know that Connor is not a child, but that doesn't change the fact that with his lower lip stuck out slightly and his big brown eyes ready to fill with tears at any moment and drowning in clothes too big for him, he sure as hell looks like a little boy that's been scolded. And that sets off that tender heart of his hard enough he grimaces before what Melissa used to call the “Dad Spirit” switches on. His tone gentles out of reflex, and he adjusts himself on the bed to sit up properly as he sighs slightly. He softens his shoulders, looking at Connor earnestly with forgiveness and apology in his gaze.

 “No, Connor, you didn't do anything wrong. I was upset, but not at you, alright?”

 Connor blinks up at him hopefully.

 “Really?”

 Hank can't help the little curl of his mouth at Connor’s question, nodding a little. He's bracing himself for what comes next, but for just a second, it's alright.

 “Really, kid. Now c’mere, lemme see it.”

 As quick as it had gone, that unbridled excitement is shining out of the kid’s every goddamn pore as he eagerly presents the cake. Finally, Hank forced himself to look at it, and he nearly loses his goddamn mind right then and there. It's ugly, there's no getting around it, but endearingly so in that way that screams of love poured into the batter. The cake is uneven and lopsided, and smothered liberally in baby blue frosting. There are candles neatly sunk into it, and Hank knows without a doubt there are fifty-four of them arranged precisely in concentric circles. And there, in the middle, spelled out in neat lettering that he can recognise as Connor’s own personal font (though the frosting is wobbly and has been badly fixed) are the words “Happy Birthday, Dad!”. A shaky smiley face has been added beneath, and its obscenely cute. There's suddenly something in Hank’s throat. Connor has never called him Dad before, and it makes his own mouth wobble treacherously. He coughs a little before speaking, ignoring how thick his voice is.

 “You make this yourself? I thought you didn't have any cooking protocols.”

 Connor looks almost ridiculously proud of himself as he nods excitedly

 “I did! I was tempted to download necessary coding, but I wanted to do it like a human, so I followed the recipe in the cookbook above the refrigerator! This one was labelled as your favourite!”

 His mother’s cookbook. He hadn't touched it in years, and the only time Melissa had ever gone near it was for that specific recipe. The last time he'd used it, he'd been making Cole’s cake. Connor had found it, he'd made him his mother’s birthday cake, and Hank isn't crying, he isn't goddamnit-

 “Hank? Are you alright?”

 He clears his throat again and scrubs a hand over his face to wipe away any damning evidence.

 “Yeah, Con. I'm alright, just got something in my eyes. C’mon, the candles are starting to drip onto the cake.”

 He crosses his legs so there's room on the bed, and Connor moves easily to perch in front of him. It takes a second of him considering his own legs with a yellow LED before he crosses them like Hank’s, a pleased little grin turning his mouth. You wouldn't know it if you only saw him at work, but the kid was gangly and faintly awkward when it came to anything related to sitting. It had taken months for Hank to break his habit of sitting ramrod straight with his knees together and hands on his thighs. Now the kid would sprawl all over the couch, but he was still like a pubescent boy learning how to use his own limbs and how to arrange them, almost like a fawn learning to walk. It shouldn't have been as adorable as it was, but Hank has given up on trying to deny how fond he is of the kid. He shakes his head as Connor sets the cake down on the bedspread, and he stares at the cake for a long moment with a strange mixture of joy and grief and fondness and sadness in his chest like a bruise. He lets out a slow breath and looks up at Connor with a smile.

 “Well? Are you gonna sing to me or not?”

 Connor brightens and nods, but a brief show of yellow spins at his temple before he turns his head.

 “Sumo! Come here!”

 There’s a quiet boof from the living room before big paws thud towards the room, and the shaggy dog trots into the room to sit beside Connor expectantly. The kid gives the dog a fond pat before turning back towards Hank. His smile widens as he takes a deep breath, something he doesn't technically need, before he starts to sing, and Sumo awoos quietly with him in an odd harmony.

 “Happy birthday to you!

Happy birthday to you!

Happy birthday dear da-ad

Happy birthday to you!”

 Ok, Hank is crying. He’ll admit it. It's one thing to see it written out in the cake, it's another to actually hear Connor call him Dad. And while it's not a surprise, he's thought of Connor as family for a while now, it brings a painful lump to his throat and a feeling filling his chest to hear someone refer to him as Dad and mean it. It's a feeling he hasn't had in one thousand and sixty days, and he had missed it dearly. He scrubs at his eyes again, sniffling a little.

 “C'mere, kid. Help me blow out the candles.”

 Connor gives him a brilliant grin and scrambles to sit next to him, carefully manoeuvring around the cake. He picks it up to settle it on their knees, Hank’s right knee supporting the left side of the plate and Connor’s left supporting the right.

 “Ready, kid?”

 “Ready, dad!”

 That feeling clogs his throat again for a second before he offers Connor a nod. He bends closer to the cake, and Connor follows suit as they inhale. He blows out a good chunk of them, and Connor catches the rest with ease before laughing a little. It's not exactly a new sound, but Hank feels downright fucking blessed to hear it if he's honest with himself. Connor doesn't laugh too often, not outside the house, and it still feels special to hear the kid be so human. He's still fucking crying, but they’re good tears. Cathartic is the word, he thinks. A fork is offered to him, and he takes it gratefully. The hurt weighing on him hasn't gone away, he doesn’t think it ever will, but it's shifted, moved some, become lighter, and he rolls his shoulders back slightly as he sits up a little straighter. He's moving to take a bit of the cake when Connor gasps beside him, and he turns with a raised eyebrow.

 “What is it?”

 “I almost forgot!”

 The kid plunges his hand into his pocket, pulling out a very familiar, very worn old Polaroid camera. Hank blinks at it, taken aback. He hadn't known he'd still had that around the house.

 “The fuck you find that thing?”

 Connor beams at him.

 “In the boxes in the garage, along with the photo albums! They were shoved in the back, but I found them while I was cleaning over the summer. It's where I got the idea to make you cake!”

 There's that funny rolling in his stomach again, like overwhelming happiness and sadness mixing like oil and water in a shaking bottle. But it's… it's good. Like the tears. Cathartic. He nods, gesturing with the fork.

 “Alright, well let's get this show on the road. I wanna eat my cake.”

 Connor laughs again, and Hank grins at him as he slings his own arm over the kid’s shoulder to bring him closer as he raised the camera.

 “Sumo! Come get in the photo!”

 The dog bounds easily up onto the bed, big head bumping at Connor’s forehead as he sniffles at the frosting there. Hank chuckles and shakes his head as he looks at the camera, making sure the text on the cake is visible as Connor presses the button. The flash is temporarily blinding, but he blinks it away as the camera spits out the sheet of thick film. Hank doesn't shake it like his mother used to, he knows better than that. He wants this one pristine if he can help it, especially because he's going to want copies of this shit. Eventually, maybe soon, maybe not, he'll stick it in the photo albums Connor found. The ones he hasn't had the guts to look at for years. But maybe…. maybe with Connor sitting next to him, he can focus on the good times as he tells him the stories about the photos. The kid is still pressed firmly into his side from Hank’s arm around his shoulders, and it's a good feeling, to sit beside someone. No, not just someone. His son. He knows Cole is never coming back, his little boy is gone, but maybe someday he'll see him again. And with any luck, he'll get to introduce him to his older brother.  Well, younger brother? It's a comforting, if slightly confusing thought, and Hank grins as he transfers his fork to his other hand so he can keep Connor close while he digs into his birthday cake. The photo develops a little while later, and Hank loves it. You can see that he's been crying, but his smile is easy, and Connor has his nose scrunched up as Sumo licks his forehead, and the cake looks even uglier in the flash from the camera and it's absolutely perfect. He’s gonna need a copy for his wallet AND his desk, goddamnit, and he might even feel brave enough to put one of his pictures of Cole beside it. It's only right that both of his boys be present, really.

 The smell of sweet candle smoke is heavy in the air, and he breathes it in. He can see Cole as he was the last time they celebrated together, green eyes sparkling and one of his front teeth missing from his broad smile as he shouted in the dark.

 “Happy birthday, dad!”

 Connor’s voice comes from beside him, and he turns to look at the kid as he smiles.

 “Happy birthday, dad.”

 He leans against Connor slightly, squeezing him gently.

 “Thanks, son. I'm glad you decided to celebrate with me.”

 And he means it.

 ___________________________________________________

 At the age of fifty-four years and one hour, Hank Anderson loves birthdays. He loves the birthday cake that's lopsided and the too thick layer of frosting and the cheerful wishes of the Android beside him. And most of all, he loves his favourite scent in the world.

 Birthday candles.

[the-overgrowth]

Retrospective: “Faybane” #1

This is where it all started, on July 8th, 2016. Although probably a bit earlier than that, but this is the earliest thing I can find that’s actually written down, so that’s what counts. And back in the day I didn’t let ideas marinate the way I do now, I just started writing pretty much as soon as I got the idea.

Anyway, the document was created at this point in time according to Google Docs, and was last modified in October 3rd, 2016. It’s only 3 chapters long, plus one incomplete fourth chapter, and the whole thing is about 17k words.

Which is a lot for 3 chapters. I would say something about how I’m less wordy now, but the latest draft is like 107k words long, so, like, I will always struggle with shutting the fuck up, methinks.

Also, the reason this is called “Faybane” is because that was the working title I used, and the name of this document. I thought it’d be the proper title but like. It’s bad lmao.

Anywhomst, let’s get into it!

Some background info for those who are new or need a refresher: this WIP became a thing after I read and was disappointed by A Court of Thorns and Roses by SJM, as well as The Iron King by Julie Kagawa and some book by Holly Black, was it Tithe?

ACOTAR was the biggest culprit. I feel that this is important to keep in mind as we go through this mess.

We open on Sidra in the forest with a bunch of men she calls a hunting party. It’s clear she doesn’t want to be there, but since she’s the only decent hunter among them and it’s her sister’s wedding today, she has to make the kill to feed the people attending said wedding.

This is, as the kids say, big stupid, and seems like a very ill-prepared celebration? I guess it makes some sense for them to want fresh meat, but this fresh? What if they didn’t find anything? What if they didn’t manage to kill anything? Is the whole thing cancelled? Stupid.

We find out they’ve been hunting a boar and that this dude named Liam, our Gaston replacement, previously wounded the animal but didn’t kill it, causing it to flee and force the hunting party to follow. It’s up to Sidra to make the killing blow, which she does with an arrow straight into its head. This was back when Sidra was still YA Heroine Extraordinaire and the time period was Vaguely Medieval, I guess.

They begin taking their quarry back home and Sidra thinks about how she normally doesn’t hunt this close to the “Faewilds” because animals closer to the border are said to be bigger and more violent. There isn’t an actual border, people just had to rely on intuition and not wander too far into the forest.

She also mentions a girl named Wilda, who disappeared fairly recently and everyone suspects it was the fae. This isn’t relevant now, but Wilda will return in later drafts, I think.

Everybody, especially my family, knew that I was one of the best archers in town, whether I used a bow or a crossbow.

Shut up, Not!Feyre. Nobody likes you.

I should mention that at this point I didn’t bother googling how big wild boars get and just assumed they were the size of like, a thick medium dog. Which is, if you know how big boars are, very incorrect. Four men pulling the animal seems realistic enough, but then Liam just lifts it up on his own? Not buying it.

Sidra laments how much she hates Liam and we find out that he apparently tried to assault her and she stabbed him? And apparently she’s not happy about his marriage to Sinéad but can’t do anything about it because “Father’s word is law” and Sinéad herself laughed it off when Sidra tried to warn her?

Yeah, gonna call bullshit on that one. No idea why this was here or what purpose it serves, the reason Liam doesn’t exist in the latest draft is because I never figured out what his purpose was so I axed him entirely. 

Current!Sidra would just kill him the moment he showed an interest in Sinéad, and Current!Sinéad would 100% believe her sister about something like that.

Some bloke named Connor strikes up a conversation with Sidra, seemingly worried about being this far away from human civilization. Liam teases him about it and calls the fae “knife-ears”, because I still had brainrot back then and liked Dragon Age and had zero original ideas in my head.

The men make jokes about having sex with fae women and Sidra seems so disturbed by this that she nocks an arrow. This isn’t the first time she makes references to feeling unsafe around these men, I have no idea why I wrote it this way aside from being edgy, I guess.

My village was mostly populated by men, and even though I wasn’t one of the pretty girls there, I knew these men weren’t picky, even with all their talk about beautiful fae women. I’d heard that fae women would kill their men after sleeping with them. I had no way of know it was true, but a part of me hoped it was and that Liam would some day soon get “lucky” and encounter a female fae, so she could end his misery.

Edgy, dude.

They eventually arrive and Sidra goes inside her house, which is a simple cottage with three rooms. I think her family are all farmers? It’s kind of confusing. She goes into her and Sinéad’s bedroom, where Sinéad is preparing for her wedding. Also, she’s blonde.

“Sid! There you are!” she said cheerily. “Killed a boar, huh? Good on Liam for taking all the credit.”

If you know your man is trash, why are you marrying him?

Apparently Liam seduced Sinéad with sweets and baked goods. I mean ... fair enough. Considering how Sidra complains about being hungry and skinny and going without food if she doesn’t kill the boar because this year’s harvest was minimal, I’m assuming y’all are starving.

We find out Sinéad’s mother doesn’t let her do anything around the house or farm, to preserve her “soft and white” hands and pale complexion so she could be married off easily. This makes zero sense, you’d think these medieval men wouldn’t have the same beauty standards as Victorian England, plus having a mouth to feed that doesn’t even help feeding itself is just nuts. 

But remember, this isn’t Sidra, this is Not!Feyre. She needs to be sad and put-upon and a victim. She explains how she was never pretty to begin with and thus nobody considered her to be worthy of marrying off, which then meant she was put to work and became even less attractive because now she was so cool and badass that all the men were intimidated by her.

Yeah, in a village that already doesn’t have a lot of young women? I’m not buying this, lmao. But go off, Not!Feyre.

I’d been the one helping around, instead. Hunting, mostly. Sometimes I’d chop wood or work the farm. Marrying out of the house seemed impossible. Marrying up was practically a dream you forgot upon waking. Had I been pretty from the start there would’ve been a foundation to work from, but I was a lost cause even before my skin became tan and my hands grew veined and calloused. I had freckles which people mistook for mud and dull brown eyes, a long nose that had been broken one time too many and a mouth that made it look like I constantly felt a bad smell no matter what facial expression I made. I’d always been of rather short stature and had brown hair and thick eyebrows, which in combination with everything else made my parents call me their “little goblin”. The scar on my face didn’t help me either: men didn’t like it when their women were more battle-hardened than they were.

Oh god please, don’t go off! We don’t care! Stop going off!

Also what fucking parents call their poor kid a goblin? Yikes.

Sinéad convinces Sidra to get prettied up and Sidra is all “oh I bet all the men will just fall over themselves for my favor now huh” which is just the most annoying fucking thing, prompting Sinéad to respond:

“Well, winter is coming and game is scarce. If they want to survive, marrying the best hunter in the village might be a good bet.”

Yeah! This is correct! I refuse to believe people wouldn’t be into Sidra! Not only does everyone apparently know she’s the best hunter in town, but Sidra herself confirmed the men here outnumber the women and aren’t very picky.

This is fucking stupid. I’m glad I axed it. In my defense, I was very much trying to emulate the YA shit I’d read so far.

Sidra’s grandmother enters the stage. She’s very old in this draft, but otherwise unchanged.

She was a short and wrinkled old lady with extremely bad vision and an even worse grasp on reality. Or maybe an extremely acute grasp on reality, depending on whether you believed her stories or not.

Sidra changes out of the dress again to go out and help her father prepare the boar, all while sulking.

I didn’t envy Sinead, nor any other bride. Despite what most people thought of me, I wasn’t some poor ugly girl longing for the love of a man and the security of marriage. Did I enjoy the idea of having somebody care for me? Sure. But it wasn’t on my list of priorities. I was still trying to figure out what actually was on that list. Not that it mattered. The prospects for a poor village girl were very finite.

Womp womp.

We get some confusing and barely related stuff about Sidra possibly becoming a royal hunter for the king and also about where the village is located in relation to the Faewilds. She speculates that maybe the fae aren’t real, but the way she and everyone else talks about them makes it pretty obvious that they are? This was supposed to build mystery, I guess.

We skip forward to the wedding and Sidra is moping again.

“How are you feeling?” Father asked and squeezed my shoulder. 

I wasn’t sure why he was doing that. I assumed it had something to do with the wedding and the fact that despite there being fewer women than men here, I was still not asked to dance. Though this didn’t really bother me, so I just shrugged.

“It doesn’t bother me. Anyway I will continue to mope and feel bitter about this thing that doesn’t bother me.” Hunny ...

At least Current!Sidra has the self-awareness to admit she’s sad and lonely.

 [Father’s] marriage to Sinead’s mother was never out of love, more out of necessity. It was easier when you had a big family.

Except for when this “big family” is 3 people who work and 2 people who are just being fed, right? See, I knew back then that having a big family helps when you have a farm, but I also needed to make Sidra Special so Sinéad had to sit on her ass to highlight how pretty and feminine she was or whatnot.

Bleh.

They talk a bit about Sidra’s mother, who passed away five years ago, and Sidra reminisces about how she used to tell amazing stories. It’s all very ... whatever, and serves only to make this point for the hundredth time:

I wasn’t like Mother. I wasn’t full of life and spirit like her. I wasn’t loved and respected by the entire village like her. I was just her disappointing child whose existence they’d rather forget except when they wanted something killed.

Right after this there’s a really abrupt scene transition. Nothing about the wedding coming to an end, nothing about her going to bed, it’s just ... some while later?

Sidra’s father comes back home from ??? and tells Sidra he saw a stag somewhere, but it was hours ago so she better get a move on.

I’m not sure what either of them thinks this will accomplish? Like ... what is she gonna do with it when she kills it ... Carry it home? On her little boney ass? Hmm? I guess I didn’t think of that because I had meta knowledge that she wouldn’t get it home either way, so who cares about logic, right?

Sidra kills two rabbits while stalking the deer, and despite telling us earlier that she doesn’t venture far away from human civilization and the boar hunting being the farthest she’d been and that she wouldn’t go this far alone, she has no issue dwelling very deep into the forest this time.

Like. Henlo? Can we have one logic please and thanks you? Granted, she keeps stopping every now and then to Feel Things Out, but this really goes against how careful she was before and at no point do we get an explanation to her sudden boldness. Plot reasons, I guess.

She nearly stumbles into fae territories and finally decides to head back, except when she starts returning, she sees the stag she’s been tracking. It’s abnormally huge and has a “dark brown” coat that she finds odd, but of course she’s too stupid to connect the dots.

She sneaks up on it and honestly? This chapter ending still slaps.

A scream of pain left the creature and I saw it topple. But though my arrow hit a deer, a man fell to the ground.

DUN DUN DUN.

And yeah, the ACOTAR roots rear their ugly heads again. I liked the idea of the protagonist shooting a fae disguised as an animal, but I decided to cut out the middleman and just have her obliterate Val right in chapter one. Don’t worry, he doesn’t die.