#I POSTED THIS ON THE WRONG BLOG

[popponn]

hair and lovers. [aryu jyubei x f!reader]

notes: this is intended to be read with 0 braincell on kind of crack fic. nonetheless, i tried to make them disgustingly sweet. the only thing that ever came close to mortal danger is aryu's hair.

“I love you, but I’m sick of this,” you said, grimness lacing both your face and tone. A pair of grass scissors rest in your hand like a murder weapon-to-be.

Aryu Jyubei—who had been and shall be forever called Aryu so the bitch wouldn’t pull a hissy fit—your boyfriend, your roommate, and unfortunately probably your soulmate for life too, stared at you in horror. “My beloved?! What—”

You didn’t let him finish. “Shut up. Or I will kill you.”

Dramatically, in return, Aryu gasped, “Was it Itoshi Rin?!”

At that, somehow, your temper immediately went down. You blinked owlishly, confused at what did that statement mean and how it came to be. You gaped, “What? Huh? How come?”

In front of you, Aryu—still in pigtails, eye cover still on his forehead all while wearing the bright ‘#1 OSHA!!!!!’ magenta custom pajama Bachira Meguru once gave him as a birthday gift—dropped his ass to the ground and waxed a poetry about style, Itoshi Rin, betrayal, also something akin to hoes before bros. With the last part, whatever desire you had to listen to him immediately evaporate to the thin air.

“Forget it,” you began. “I will really end you.”

Aryu turned his face to you, flipping his hair like some shampoo brand ambassador in the process. Dramatically, again, he proclaimed, “My darling! What has come into you?!”

“Your hair and our ruined date photo that’s what,” you replied, approaching him in a casual and lax manner—that actually translated into a walk that was as menacing as Barou Shouhei when he entered the field in Aryu’s point of view.

At your answer, your boyfriend’s eyes widened. A flash of memories flooded his mind—your sour face after every outdoor date in the last three months, your bitter smile every time you stare into the photo album. Stylishly, he understood everything. The scissors in your hand was without a doubt a weapon to part him with his hair.

“Beloved!” Aryu shouted at you, both of his hands raising up as if it could stop you. Within his hearts, he steeled himself shall it came to no choice and he should use his athletic capabilities to defend his hair—

“Oh, it seems you get it!” you stopped at your tracks, three steps away from him. You smiled sweetly, as you continued, “Then, let’s get to the point. Either I cut it or we can just break up.”

Aryu didn’t steel himself for that.

“What?!” he exclaimed. Immediately, Aryu stood back to his full height. You, who had been living under the same roof with him for quite a while, didn’t flinch even for a second. But, then again, it was you who had a sharp tool in hand.

“What do you mean what,” you deadpanned, every trace of smile vanishing away from your face. A small part of Aryu’s heart shed a tear at such loss—however, it shall be a story for another time.

“My stylish hair is part of this stylish me!” Aryu cried out as his hands clasped itself on your shoulder. He brought his face closer to you, begging, “How could you even thought of such thing?!”

Almost instantly, your face turned into an expression that was both adorable and painful for Aryu’s heart—your eyes sparkled as tears welled up in them and your lips grew into a quivering line. “I want a nice photo with you!” you cried back at him, your gaze thrown away from his. “And I’m your girlfriend! Is that so much to ask for?!”

A part of Aryu wilted at your question. To think he had become a man who made such thoughts exist within you. “Oh, my Dear…” he trailed off.

You ignored Aryu, expressing everything you had withheld within your heart for months. “I know you like your hair—but, it keeps hitting me! Sometimes it get in my mouth! Also, aren’t you a footballer?! It isn’t normal to have hair that long! And also, you spent so much time—”

“My beloved,” Aryu cut you off. Smoothly, his hands grasped both of yours as he dropped down to the floor, this time propping himself up with one knee. Gently, he took away the big scissors in your hand and put it as far as his hands would allow.

Feeling the tender stroke on the back of your palm, you finally let yourself meet his eyes again. Aryu looked at you with a determination as he once again opened his mouth, “Forgive me for making you feel in such unstylish way. However, I cannot let you, who I love, part this stylish me away from my stylish strands.”

At those words, you looked like you were about to cry. Without wasting a beat, Aryu continued quickly, unwilling to let even a drop of tear away from your eyes, “That’s why—let me propose to you a deal.”

You blinked at that, confused. Aryu silently cooed at that action, but nonetheless he had an important thing to do. Aryu slowly grabbed a part of his long hair and put it in your hand, entrapping them in between your fingers and his and Aryu knew he had made the right call.

“My beloved, from this day onwards,” he began, eyes never leaving yours. “Would you do me the honor of styling my hair to your heart contents, for every day, every time I will walk away from this house, whether it will be with your hand in mine or not?”

As Aryu finished his proposal, never once did the confusion leave your face. From the outside, as the daylight seeps from the window, Aryu could hear three series of chirping before suddenly the sound of your laugh broke out.

“Seriously?!” you tried to say in between your chortle. Aryu tried not to melt at the sight. It was both stylish and beautiful. Then, as you looked down at him and tightened your fingers around Aryu’s hair and fingers, you smiled—this time brightly and stylishly, “Sure, why not?”

Indeed, Aryu was a very happy man who did not made any wrong choice at that time.

[ayrsontenna]

[goreshitrushi2]

morishige is a closeted trans girl

[tradetobest]

in good omens season 2 they should kiss on the lips

[dumbomorincorrectquotes]

Sunny: I see how it is. We agree to single combat and of course you can still use your Nail Bat. Sunny: But I bring a single steak knife, and suddenly it's "treachery" and "against the spirit of the agreement"

[originsmcrptidbits]

I want to stab

I wanna stab The March Hare

and Florence for that matter

[plasticrabbits]

Rant incoming:

Why is it OK for my dad to freak out about sending me a birthday card, and asking if I got it 20 times, and me telling him I'll call when I get it. AND THEN I DO. But when I send him one, or framed pictures of us that he is always asking for, cuz if I don't I'll be disowned, he doesn't even mention receiving it? And when I ASK if he got it, he will be all, oh yeah, thanks. What the ever loving FUCK is up with that? Don't put this shit on me. I'm not 5 anymore. You can't make me do things and expect things like it doesn't work both ways.

He also, every - single - time, I speak with him nags me about calling my aunts. "They love you, just say hi, it's painless, they just want to hear from you." bla bla bla bla bla. Maybe I'm the asshole, but guess what. Phones work BOTH WAYS. It is not my SOLE responsibility to communicate. I HATE talking on the phone. I have hella phone anxiety. I HATE talking about myself. I HATE that the only reason my life has value to these people is because I'm finally married. YES I'm a total piece of shit who doesn't like to communicate. But I will answer the phone if they call me and shoot the shit with my fake happy voice because I do love them. But what I super do not love is the disgusting double standard that doesn't even register with them.

Why do people even have kids. Like I really don't understand the mentality. And he has the audacity to bother me about having a baby like he ever one time in his life enjoyed being a parent. Get the fuck all the way out of my face with that shit.

MAN I'm so riled up. Clearly part of the daddy issues club. "What about what Alex wants? Have you talked about it?" I swear to hell old man if you ask me ONE MORE TIME I'll implode. WHAT ABOUT WHAT I WANT? IS THAT NOT IMPORTANT AT ALL TO YOU? STOP CHANGING THE SUBJECT. JUST SAY IT. I DON'T MATTER BECAUSE I DONT HAVE A PENIS. IT'S FINE. I GET IT. TELL ME AGAIN HOW YOU REGRET NOT HAVING A SON. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...

ok. now back to our regularly scheduled BS. -peace-

[clown-owo]

been replaying the Portal series I think this is where its heading

[raredrop]

MY DASH NOOOO

[suiheisen]

happy year of the dragon from this guy…

[rongzhi]

English added by me :)

[deecotan]

live action zoro sanji ⚔️🍳

[sleepis4theweak]

Inspired by my mom pulling the emergency call cord in the hospital because I got the hiccups when I was like a day old.

[spiritsonic]

playing with a new style treatment

[lesbielol]

riding a butch and having them whimper & moan like a bitch in heat underneath me is doing something to me

men and minors dni