#I THOUGHT I WAS FREE. I THOUGHT I WAS IMMUNE

[prince-liest]

Dr Prince! You have very effectively infected my brainslug with ‘Lady’s First’ (fire name, btw. the meaning hit me in the face when typing this and you would only know when checking the spelling) I can’t stop thinking about it.

Sorry beforehand, this may bully your inbox with a wall of text.

There are so many things I want to write and analyse about this, but right now I’d like to focus on Vox:

(also: feel free to ignore this if my insane ramblings go off the rails, lol, they tend to do that)

So I find it fascinating how both of them interact in this. Clearly they were talking about emotional and personal things way more than male Alastor. It’s very hard for me to put into words, not gonna lie. Vox, I feel like, has experienced a very different kind of ‘hell-socialisation’ in this version. Since it’s not ‘my gender is eldritch monster’ Alastor he’s looked up to but Alastor the woman who also happens to be the mighty Radio Demon, things turned out very different. 

We can all agree that friendships between men and friendships between men and women are different. We can’t forget that Vox is also playing a role here. His presentation is carefully crafted to be the ‘man’s man’. He is all ‘I’m going to present as toxic masculine as I have learned men to be during my lifetime’ -> probably very much imitating the way that his boss used to present. Because that’s what a man does, of course(lol)! The competitive edge, so to say, is missing that would be present between ‘old-boy’ male friends. This is laced with the fact that Vox is also queer as Hell and not immune to his own upbringing. So he was able to clock Alastor’s insecurity IMMEDIATELY and tried his best to dispel them (even though it was for different reasons than one might think initially). Because he’s probably been subject to the same thing when he was alive. (Again, ignore if I’m being stupid about this, it’s just my own interpretation and I’m INSANE)

Also it kinda feels like talking about feelings is something that comes more naturally to Vox and thus, things like him being transgender and them having talked about his vast collection of dildos beforehand is interesting but I also can’t quite put my finger on WHY, exactly. Is it because a male Alastor would have absolutely snooped around Vox’s room as well, taken note of the dildos and just not given a shit? I don’t know! And Vox being so soft and considerate throughout the whole thing hit me in the face out of left field, not gonna lie.

Now, coming over to Alastor for a moment. You can almost see the gears turning in her head that led to this decision. All the little hints beforehand and the interactions throughout. As you said: socialisation as a woman dictated to her that if she wants to have a meaningful friendship with a man, it is expected of her to give herself over. She clearly likes Vox enough but I think there are also other layers to this. There is also that “choosing a partner” vibe. She is just as curious and wanting to try things as her male counterpart. She also already knew she probably wouldn’t enjoy sex but she’s not above trying it out nevertheless -> combining all the things: Vox being a friend that is near and dear to her heart that she also doesn't feel ‘weaker’ to, if that makes sense. Vox can’t ‘take’ her power or perceived status away the same way a non-Overlord would in this scenario. I interpret/project a lot of “men sleeping around are heroes, women sleeping around are sluts” into this. Then there is Vox being trans and having had very similar socialisations during his lifetime. It almost created a safe space for Alastor. If it was going to be ANY man she was ever going to try this with, it would be Vox. (Of course that notion of ‘safety’ is a very flimsy and badly worded descriptor that goes out the window the second we bring hypnosis and the fact that they are DEMONS in HELL into the mix but I’m very bad at describing my thoughts in this otherwise) 

Phew. ok, so that was so many words to say: I love this stuff! 

Now I wish that it was a series but my brain already can’t comprehend how this masterpiece even saw the light of day so….

Thank you so much for this!

HENCHY THIS ASK WAS SO LOVELY <3 No apologies, I love long comments (though for continuous conversations I tend to start putting things under a cut, haha).

I think you're very on-point with a lot of this, especially with Vox feeling like a safe enough option that Alastor was able to get far enough as to try this in the first place. And it's not just because she thinks Vox understands where she's coming from, having experienced life "as a woman" (in Alastor's eyes, though that's not precisely actually true to the trans experience), but also because they're from similar enough time periods that she thinks Vox has a proper understanding of how things should be. Vox in this fic has been historically actively more respectful to Alastor in a very gendered way because he's socially canny enough to pick up on the fact that Alastor expects him to be, and he cares enough about what she thinks of him to continue behaving that way even decades after they met when it's not actually the 1950s anymore.

Chivalry is dead, but they're both in hell with it!

And talking about his feelings comes more naturally to Vox in this fic because he's talking about them to a woman rather than another man, so a lot of society's "men shouldn't have soft squishy feelings (unless it's to their mother or female significant other)" bullshit doesn't register, especially to a guy who, y'know, has a vested interest in performing masculinity "correctly." If that makes sense! >:D

Anyway, thank you so much! I didn't expect the sheer amount of interest and positive response that this fic would garner and it has brought me a lot of joy. I'm really happy that you enjoyed it!

[astranauticus]

shoutout to the experience of watching the new hbomberguy video, a bit like being at a party and having fun until about exactly halfway through when someone shoots you in the stomach

[fatedroses]

He laid at the brink of death once more, staring at the face of despair. He remembered the path that led him to this purgatory, and with a smile could only ask:

"Shall we be friends?"

[eleanorenchanted]

Samezuka, the fiercest and most serious team to ever set foot in the pool

[zazter-den]

I thought I was done sputtering with frustration over this last night, but

I can't believe that I have to fly across the country for this divorce hearing, meanwhile my ex gets to zoom in cause he's in jail.

I just- argh.

[no-brand-gays]

if i became a school idol and the other members made my image color gray i would try to take down the group from the inside

[astrxealis]

bg3 is too fun. too fun.

[mythicalcoolkid]

After too many years here I've final what hornets' nests I am not brave enough to kick

[thedeadthree]

🦢🐺 KISSED BY THE SUN AND BITTEN BY THE MOON.

logan belongs to the dear @risingsh0t ✧ | template by the lovely @jacobseed ✧ | coloring by @notoriousaesthetics ✧ | doodles ✧ | icons ✧

[basofy]

god in the span of a day my brain can go from "hehe garth" to "that goddamn conversation it's so gross why did it have to exist why why why why" to "hehe garth"

[frauleindermorgen]

any happy little thought

@justices-blade from x

Okay, stuff just wasn't gonna stop getting weird, huh? At least it was nicer than being trapped by bandits, or in some kind of toy store cabinet — Heck, he might even enjoy this! He'd been fitted with a cool longcoat (pretty close to his trueblade coat, actually) and some other baubles for the occasion by a very insistent water-person, and it'd be kind of a waste to let all this go to nothing...

"Hey, Micaiah!" The boy perks up as he spots her — Or, rather, he sees her wings first, as unwieldly as they look, as she approaches. It hardly matters, and he completely forgets to reply to her question in his excitement to comment:

"Oh snap, you too?" He turns around, and there's a flare of brown in front of the other; Turns out, one of the extra 'baubles' happened to be a fully functional pair of shrike's wings. They shake themselves out once, before tucking almost perfectly to his back. There's an excited shine to his eyes — He's clearly quite unperturbed by the circumstances of the ball, at least for now. At any rate, he's filed it as a 'deal with it afterwards' kind of thing.

"You think we can actually fly with these?"

Edward's pervasive, well, Edwardness calms her heart at the very least, and she soaks in his smile along with the sentiments attached to it for a long moment to steady herself. She gasps, awe-struck despite herself, at the shrike wings on his back. She had not thought they would be fitting and yet... "I see my patron is not the only one with a sense of humor," she sighs, looking down at the mark on her own hand and then coming closer to peer at Edward's. Fire and water, was it? Just like Yune and Ashera she supposed. "I... hadn't thought of that," she admits, having been startled enough when they appeared; knowing of her heritage now, the fact they were white wings (though unlike any heron she had ever seen) seemed, well, a little cruel even if the elementals hadn't known exactly.

(She hoped they did not, at least).

"Normally, I would think it best not to try but," she holds her hand out with a small smile, "would you like to attempt it together?"

[vaugarde]

Finished Rubyfruit Jungle like a week ago, which I was studying for class, and ngl... I tried very hard to view the book as a product of its time, where things that are considered poor taste today probably weren't viewed that way back then, but most of the time I kinda just got a "I'm not like THOSE lesbians" vibe from it

[sysig]

I finally set my last notebook to rest, so it’s time for a new one (Patreon)

[im-still-watching-anime]

i have been So Busy and my brain desperately begging me to rewatch all my silly little sports animes when i’m trying to focus is really not it

[teeth-thief]

the biggest fucking scam of diet culture beauty culture health culture social media culture et fucking cetera is that you have

a. the ability to change your body/appearance

b. the responsibility to change your body/appearance

your body is biologically innate and to go against that is to defy basic instincts. the perpetuation of all of it makes me want to fucking kill someone.

[moe-broey]

Man it truly sucks that like. The dude who did Planet of the Bass is a piece of shit LMFAO cause like. I feel like the DJ Crazy Times outfits PERFECTLY captured Moe's fashion sense and doodling those outfits spurred on A Bunch of ideas and I was having a lot of fun and even like an epiphany that spurred on a separate deeply self-indulgent project/concept (complete opposite end of the spectrum of indulgence) and then I find out ohhhhh. You weren't Just making fun of the fashion of the times and like, how it feels when you can't process shit so everything sounds a bit funny, and also just like how early 2000s music Is Sometimes (DEEPLY feel the song itself is SO DDR core ESP like... how it's just a bunch of vague jumbled concepts that's catchy AS FUCK) -- you're also a grown ass man still weirdly fixated on your autistic classmate you had in 3rd grade or some shit (have not looked at the vids myself and don't wish to, but from what I've heard it's essentially that).

(Further clarification -- he's making fun of autistic kids who had like, very typical and understandable Needs to accommodate being autistic in a classroom. As a grown adult. Like why are you even still thinking about this LMFAOOO move on, grow up LMFAOOO)