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mandowh0re · 4 years

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Devil’s Advocate

Chapter 1

Summary: After a violent breakup with her now ex-boyfriend, Liza is ready to give up on relationships. In an attempt for safety, she moves to a city across the country. That’s where she finds herself now. In her new apartment, staring into the eyes of the devil, who claims to be in love with her. Also, since when is the devil a woman?

Word Count: 2186

A/N: Wassup my lovely fucks! I am in quarantine and have decided to show myself once again! This is a story that is NOT marvel related but I’m working on stories outside of fanfiction to practice writing my own characters. This will be an 18+ story. I really like this one so far, so even if you followed me for marvel content, please give it a try?

P.S. I am not a doctor so this will be filled with medical inaccuracies, sorry.

Warnings: domestic abuse, descriptions of injury, scene with a violent fight (I will warn when the scene starts and ends)

Happy reading!

“... Twenty-four year old female… multiple….”

“... C.T. is ready…”

“... We need to…”

“... Liza? We need you to…”

(!!!)

“Where are you going?”

Liza nearly jumped out of her skin at the sound of Luke’s voice. He was supposed to be at work for another three hours, and she needed all the time she could to pack her things.

Slowly, Liza turned around to see Luke standing in the entryway of the living room. He looked mad. He always looked mad.

“Hey honey, you’re home early.” Liza replied, not answering his question and fighting to keep her voice even. If she showed fear this would be even worse.

“You weren’t answering my calls.”

Shit.

“I’m sorry, I was cleaning and I guess I didn’t hear my phone-“

“You’re lying. Don’t lie to me. Where are you going?”

Liza’s eyes flickered from Luke to the nearest exit. She knew in her bones this wasn’t going to end well for her.

The closest exit was past Luke, but there were multiple objects she could use as a weapon. The wine bottle at the bar seemed the best.

“I was headed to Jess’. She’s really sick and needs someone over there-“

“You see,” Luke interrupted as he stepped closer, his hands in his pockets and his eyes trained on Liza, “I gave you a chance to tell me the truth, and I warned you not to lie to me. I stopped by the hospital, Jess was there. Said you felt sick so you stayed home today.”

Liza could feel her heart in her throat. She couldn’t very well argue with him. Jess, bless her, had tried to cover for her. Because the reality of it was that she had quit. She had planned on leaving an hour before Luke got home. She needed to leave him or he would quite literally be the death of her.

In a last minute attempt to save herself, Liza bolted towards the bar, but was stopped short when Luke grabbed her wrist.

He spun her back to face him, and punched her square in the face.

“You thought you could leave me? After everything we’ve been through?” Luke asked, as he backhanded Liza and threw her against the wall, “I did everything for you. I was so good to you. I loved you! And this is how you repay me?”

Another punch, this time to her stomach. Then another. And another.

Liza coughed, and blood dripped from her mouth. She knew the only way she would get out of this alive was if she called for help now.

Luke was currently going on a rant, so while he was distracted she quickly tumbled towards the couch and grabbed her phone from her bag. She unlocked it, found the app that Jess had made her download weeks ago, and pressed the panic button multiple times before a wad of her hair was grabbed and she was tossed across the room.

“You fucking bitch! You listen when I talk to you! Are you leaving me for another guy? Huh? Is that it you slut!” He added emphasis on ‘slut’ as he reared his foot back and kicked her ribs, “I bet it’s that fucker, Dennis? The one at the coffee shop you like so much?” Another kick to the ribs, “I’ll fucking kill him!”

Luke dropped down on top of Liza, grabbed her hair and slammed her head into the floor several times before adding another punch to the face.

Liza was wheezing and coughing, trying to keep awake and from choking on her own blood. Tears stung her eyes and she felt herself slipping. She faintly heard the sound of sirens, but they were too late. She saw the metal glint in Luke’s hands.

She was dead.

Luke leaned down so that his face was right next to her head.

“I’ll kill him,” he whispered, “Right after I kill you.”

At first there was pain, and then, there was nothing.

***(!!!)

Sounds. Sounds came back first.

The first thing she heard was beeping. Then as she began to come out of her sleep she could make out the faint sounds of voices.

Next was smell.

Wherever she was, it smelled clean. And oddly familiar.

Suddenly, like a train, all of her senses crashed into her at once as she realized where she was and why she was there.

Her eyes flew open, as much as they could, and then there was a loud alarm next to her.

She knew that alarm. She needed to get her heart rate down.

But it didn’t matter. Because Luke could come find her at any time and she had to hide.

She threw the blankets off of her and went to stand, but fell to the ground, bringing her IV drip with her.

Several nurses suddenly burst in the door, as well as a security officer.

“Ma’am, you need to stay in bed,” One nurse tried telling her as the other nurses tried to get her back on her bed.

“No, he’s going to find me!” Liza shrieked, fighting against the nurses, throwing weak punches where she could. She vaguely registered someone yelling out for a sedative.

“No! No you can’t do that! He’ll find me and he’ll finish what he started and-“

“Liza,”

That voice. She knew that voice. She opened her eyes, which she hadn’t realized were closed, and saw a blurry image of her friend in front of her.

When had she started crying?

“Jess?”

“Hey girlie. I need you to calm down okay?”

Liza’s chest heaved as she forced in a breath. Jess was here. Jess always kept her safe.

“But… But Luke-“

“Is in jail.” Jess said with a certain finality to her voice, “The police found him when they got to your house. At first they thought…” Jess swallowed the lump in her throat and Liza was vaguely aware of the other nurses inserting new IVs.

“But they rushed you into the ER. They paged me saying there was a critical Jane Doe. But I knew, I knew it was you. When I saw you I- It took everything in me not to go and kill him myself.”

“So… He’s... gone?” Liza asked, her voice shaking.

Jess nodded, “Yeah. He isn’t going to hurt you again. So could you please lay your stubborn ass down so I’m not constantly on the verge of a heart attack, please?”

Liza smiled, or tried to, it probably looked like a grimace. She laid back down with the help of the other nurses.

Now that she was up and the IV had unhooked for a few minutes, her brain fog had cleared enough to let her understand the situation.

“How bad?” She asked.

Jess placed a hand on the shoulder of another nurse, who Liza recognized as Rhonda. She was always nice to her. She always looked out for Liza.

“I’ve got this,” Jess spoke quietly. Rhonda nodded and finished the IV she was placing before leaving the two friends alone.

It was quiet for a moment before Liza asked again, “Jess?”

“You won’t remember anything I tell you right now. They’ve got you on some pretty strong stuff. Go to sleep, I’ll be here when you wake up and I’ll tell you.”

She wanted to fight, but Liza felt the medication pulling her under and she just didn’t have the energy. So she let the darkness wrap around her once again.

***

Jess was sitting in a chair next to her bed. Liza was finally moved out of the ICU and demanded that her friend tell her what all Luke had done.

“... Contusions everywhere. Ruptured spleen. And a stab wound to the abdomen that pierced multiple organs,” Jess sniffled and wiped a tear off her cheek, “They lost you twice in the first surgery. They wouldn’t let me in the room, said I was too close to the case. Honestly, everyone was shocked you made it out alive.

“You were in critical care for the first several days. On a ventilator for the first four. God, when you started breathing on your own I actually threw up, you know. I was so nervous.”

It was silent for a few minutes, Liza soaking up all of the information she had just been given.

“How long was I out?” She asked.

“Almost a week and a half. After you woke up the first time they put you into a coma so it wouldn’t happen again.”

It was quiet between the two for several minutes before Jess sniffed and swiped at her tears again, “You need to rest.”

Liza nodded and leaned back onto the bed once more, and attempted another smile when Jess squeezed her hand before leaving the room.

***

“So I was thinking we could find you a new apartment, one of the fancy ones with extra security. Then when you’re feeling better you could come back to work-“

“I’m still leaving.” Liza cut off Jess’ thoughts, “I mean, I don’t want to. But I also do. I don’t feel safe here. I want to restart. Somewhere where nobody knows me.” Liza was poking at her food with her fork. Suddenly, she had no appetite.

“Oh, okay. Yeah. I get that. I just, I guess I thought it would be easier… But you’re right,”

“Jess, I’m sorry.”

“Hey, no need to be sorry,” Jess sniffled and gave a watery smile, “You need to do what’s best for you. I’m just going to miss my best friend, is all.”

“I know. I’m gonna miss you too. But you’re gonna come out to visit me as soon as possible, right?”

“Duh,” Jess gently pushed Liza’s shoulder and the two of them giggled, “Jack and I are coming out as soon as I have enough vacation saved up.”

A pang of guilt hit Liza. Jess had used up most of her vacation time while Liza was in the hospital, a majority used after she had woken up the first time.

A feat that the doctors couldn’t figure out how it had happened, she learned, since she hadn't been weaned off the sedatives yet.

Liza barely remembered that. Jess had to tell her what had happened. Though she supposed it was a good thing she didn’t remember most of that incident. Apparently she had nearly gone berserk.

“Hey,” Jess’ voice stirred Liza from her train of thought, “You okay?”

Liza cleared her throat, “Yeah, I’m fine. Just a little tired.”

“Yeah, of course. You should rest. I’ll come see you later.” Jess got up and pulled the small table Liza had been eating on to the side of the bed and pulled the blankets up to cover her.

Grabbing the food tray, Jess snuck out of the room and headed to the nursing station, dropping the food tray on the cart as she passed.

“Hey, she sleeping?” Lynne, one of Liza’s nurses, asked.

“I don’t know if she’s sleeping. But she’s resting.” Jess said as she slid into one of the empty chairs.

“That’s better than nothing,” Lynne looked back up from her paperwork, “Why do you look constipated?”

Jess shot a look at her friend before pinching the bridge of her nose, “She still wants to move. And I get it, I do, but I can’t keep her safe if she’s all the way across the country!”

Lynne sighed, “Jess. Honey, she was half way across town and was very nearly killed. I know you feel responsible. But you were doing everything you could. From what she told us, you were helping her get out,”

“I should have given her a way to defend herself.”

“You can’t dwell on the past. Not anymore. Because that’s all she’s going to do, and you need to be strong for her. You need to be that beacon of hope, even if you’re clear across the country.”

“How do I keep her from finding someone like him again?” Jess didn’t dare speak his name. It was like poison. And she didn’t want it on her tongue, “Because, Lynne, if someone lays a hand on her one more time, I might actually go to jail. No, scratch that. I definitely will go to jail. I would have that night if Doctor Tiruneh didn’t physically pull me into a supply closet and refuse to let me leave until I calmed down.”

Lynne blew out some air, running a hand down her face, “You can’t guarantee she won’t find someone like him again. In fact, it’s entirely possible she will. Some people end up in a cycle they can’t break, some people can break it after one relationship gone bad. Hopefully, this was enough for her to break that cycle. All you can do is be there for her and try to guide her.”

“I should have called the cops when I saw the bruises the first time,”

“That wasn’t your call to make,”

“Yeah, well, look where it got us.”

“She’s alive. That’s all that matters,”

Jess sat there for a few more minutes before she stood abruptly and headed out. She needed fresh air to think.

------

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#toni writes #story #devil #lgbtq fiction #lgbtq characters #devils advocate

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kuriquinn · 5 years

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I’m stuck and I feel like my life is not going anywhere.

I have had three health care professionals tell me that I’m going to be stuck in this current plateau of my recovery unless I can get out on my own. The situation where I’ve basically become secondary caregiver to me grandfather is starting to stress me out in the same way my job was, in that I feel like I’m eternally stuck and can’t get anyone to listen to me and putting everyone else’s needs above my own. My days are going back to that monotonous “every day is the same and it’s never going to change” theme.

Every day I basically spend the day looking for apartments and trying to figure out what the hell else I can even do for a living besides teaching. I can’t get any work done where I’m currently living, whether it’s trying to write a resume or trying to write a story or letters of intent to go back to school or anything like that because every thirty minutes my grandfather is doing something (like calling the police or sneaking out of the house when everyone’s back is turned). I have zero ability to concentrate, the neighborhood where I live has literally NOTHING nearby (no gyms, libraries, cafés, etc.) so I can’t escape it. And unless I specifically ask in advance for a car to be left home, I have no way of just going for a drive (and I’ve been trying to wean off and adjust my meds accordingly so I can even be comfortable enough to drive).

And every time I bring up wanting to move out and asking for suggestions about neighborhoods or wanting to talk budgeting plans, my dad tells me it’s not possible for me to move out. He says I should stay here as long as possible so I can save up.

And on the outside what he’s saying is pretty reasonable: I am not currently working and I won’t be living on insurance forever, and I don’t even have enough saved up for a year’s rent not including food and shit.

But a part of me really can’t help thinking he’s trying to keep me from going anywhere because if I leave it means he actually has to deal with figuring out what to do with his father. If I’m elsewhere, it means there’s no one hanging around during the witching hour to take care of Opa. Or if the caretaker decides to just not show up during the day, I wouldn’t be there to be the safety net.

I’m trying really hard not to think that but I’m so fucking frustrated. I am 30 years old and I feel like a prisoner in the spare room at my grandparents house. I have zero friendships, I haven’t been in a romantic relationship with anyone for years and I’ve become the glorified nursemaid babysitter.

If my fifteen year old self saw me now I think she might off herself to avoid ending up like me. (This is not me being suicidal, this is me knowing what I was like as a teenager. I’m basically living her worst nightmare)

And the thing is...I KNOW it could be so much worse. I am comparatively lucky to a lot of people and I feel like a tool complaining.

But I also feel like I’m choking to death on my life.

I have enough money saved for at least 6 months rent (and food and utilities and whatever). I just want to get myself the hell out of this situation and let the chips fall where they may, just on the off chance I can jumpstart my life again.

Live somewhere where I can eat when I want and what I want, and go to bed when I’m tired and wake up when I’ve actually rested and not when my grandfather decides to start clipping around the house. Where I’m close to a gym or a coffee shop or bookstore or anywhere that I can interact with people my own age and try to be a well adjusted adult instead of this fucking shut in whose life is over at 30.

I’m tired of waiting until I’ve saved enough, or worked out enough or found the perfect job. I’m tired of not pursuing my interests because they might not pan out or pay well or be convenient.

I’m just...tired.

#down day #recovery #not so much today

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blschaos3000-blog · 4 years

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Its 12:25 pm cloudy/humid/16

Welcome to 8 Questions with…..

One of the best things I like doing this series is just how randomly these interviews come together. Some interviews come after weeks or months of just casually talking with the person I am hoping to chat with and some interviews,like the one with our guest Cedric Gegel,happen after swapping 10 tweets. Of course when that tweet is about someone beating cancer’s ass,you just know I am all about talking with anyone who does that and that is how I met Cedric. We exchanged about 10 tweets and I just knew I wanted to know interview Cedric about his career as an actor and director. I’m so happy that Cedric agreed to chat because he has a lot to share and I really think you’re going to really enjoy his story and since there is a lot that Cedric has to share….let me get out of the way and let Cedric answer his 8 Questions………

Please introduce yourself and tell us about your most current project.

Hi! My name is Cedric Gegel, and I am an actor, screenwriter, and director, currently based in Philadelphia, PA and working wherever the films take me. I’ve got a couple of films on the docket as an actor that are coming up, but as a director and writer, I’m kind of involved in a few projects. The most exciting one is a drama coming up titled To A God Unknown (or The Color I Feel), which is an in-depth character study on mental health, the impact religion can have on it, and how relationships can play into how we heal. It’s a very personal project that is really invigorating for me, but it’s definitely heavy. I’m also currently working through about seven other concepts for films at varying stages of completion – for some, scripts have been started, for others, the only thing I have is a logline. It’s kind of an exciting time right now in that regard.

How have you been handling the pandemic? How have you kept yourself busy?

It’s been a struggle. Before the pandemic, I could always go to a park to get my thinking done or plan out my stories or reevaluate characters. The mind is where all films begin, and it is where all films are formed, so it needs to be engaged at all levels of the creative process. One of my peers said recently that directors need to be self-reflective, and I think that’s really true. So, unfortunately, with a lot of public spaces closed or not really functioning as a viable creative space, that’s been a bit of a struggle. I did learn to take and enjoy walks, which began as twenty minute exercises and eventually became an hour or longer as I re-learned how to engage my mental self. Obviously, I can’t really go to coffee shops at the moment, which is unfortunate because I like being able to go to a coffee shop and force myself to write. That said, it’s a lot cheaper to not go to coffee shops! Plus, I’ve tried to wean myself off of coffee during the pandemic. I was drinking three to four cups a day before this, and now I’m down to one or two a week. To really answer your question, it’s been hard to focus. I think that the world has been a bit exhausting as of late, and it’s important that we focus on that, but from a purely creative perspective, it’s been difficult to zero in and focus. I think there’s a mild responsibility on creators to make things that are life-giving and uplifting, at least to an extent and insofar as it serves the story. It has to be honest. Maybe I’m speaking more about myself there – I feel like the films I feel compelled to make during this time are films that lead to hope more than anything, but without being fake about it, and that’s difficult right now. That said, I did start a podcast where I interview fellow actors and writers and directors and composers and who knows what else, so that’s been really fun, and I have learned a lot from it. I’ve spent some time re-learning acting technique and getting back to basics, read some screenwriting textbooks, directed a virtual production of Edward III, recorded some scenes with other actors over Zoom, and other stuff, so I’ve been trying to stay engaged and active with my creative self. I think that’s really important.

You just received news that you are a cancer survivor! Can you share with us a little about your ordeal? How do you feel when you don’t see people mask up for Covid-19?

Oh gosh. Yeah. What a journey. I was diagnosed in 2015, just a few weeks after officially “starting” my acting career and literal days after the end of my sophomore year of college. I had epithelioid hemangioendothelioma, more simply described as being blood vessel cancer. It’s pretty rare, and mine happened to be in my left elbow. We discussed a variety of options, including surgeries, chemo, radiation, amputation, and just doing nothing. In the end, given how much damage was already occurring, we decided on a combination of surgeries and radiation therapy, which was going to (hopefully) allow me to keep my arm. To be blunt, it was quite a painful and miserable process, and I underwent an enormous amount of personal change that summer. I became much more quiet and introverted. I lived by myself and had to work several jobs to be able to pay for everything. It was a bit brutal at times. I also really engaged my faith at that time. I’m a devout Christian, but an experience like that really starts to challenge your perspective and beliefs. My relationship with God changed enormously. I think my faith became a much deeper, more rooted, and more confused thing. The more I learned, the less that made sense, and the more fluid and wondrous God became. Then I started engaging more with the books of James and Ecclesiastes in the Bible, and learned that this process is a really healthy thing. That’s what really kept me going. As of last Monday, I found out that I no longer need to be followed by a doctor. No more cancer check-ups! After four surgeries (initial biopsy, elbow scope, installation of a plate and six screws, and removal of a screw that was bending inside the elbow, which is incredibly painful and I do not recommend), dozens of days of radiation therapy, and years of careful work to learn the “new normal” of my body, they do not think the cancer will come back. I still have to do physical therapy and deal with daily chronic pain, but, as I recently realized, as much as the pain in my elbow hurts, I should be thankful that I have an arm to begin with. I get really frustrated when I see people not wearing masks. My cancer makes me a bit more susceptible, but it’s really my blood disorder (I’m a walking bag of medical fun) that makes me angry. I’m on blood thinners because my blood clots really fast – I’ve had two or three deep vein blood clots in my life so far, and I’m only 25, along with several superficial clots – and I don’t understand why people can’t just put on a mask. Just wear it around other people. Not everything is about you. Care about other people, grow up, and do your part. Your selfishness is killing people and it’s awful to watch. Not to mention, a lot of the people that think masks are “oppression” – and we don’t have time to unpack all of that ridiculousness – are the same people claiming that the economy needs to reopen. Well, folks, I don’t want to have to go back to basics here, but is it not obvious? If the economy reopens and you don’t wear a mask, more people are going to die, and we will likely get a second wave. It’s called cause-and-effect. It’s not all that difficult. I want things to reopen too. I had several films get cancelled because of this, and many have lost their funding. I haven’t been on set in forever, and voice acting is great, but there’s just not enough happening at this moment in time. What I am not willing to do is see people die because I wanted to go play professional dress-up in front of a camera. We need to be careful here. Wear masks, encourage social distancing. It’s not hard. It’s really not.

How did you get your start in the acting world?

I was very blessed to have parents and siblings with an appreciation for the art. From a very young age, I can remember my father telling me about certain things actors and singers were doing and why. I remember my mother reading stories to us and using character voices, and encouraging us as we got older to read fantasy books and use our imaginations. We didn’t have many TV channels growing up, so the vast majority of my childhood was spent with my nose in a book or playing outside with my siblings, Salon, Tori, and Austin. They’re all very different and very intelligent and very creative, and I think we all benefited from that combination of reading and adventuring in the small woods behind our house or playing in the backyard. My father is also a very funny character actor, and my mother has this genuine warmth about her, and I think both of them impacted me in that way. My parents put us in dance classes when we were very young, and I got to study jazz and lyrical (among other things, but those were my main focus). I always found that I was interested in the “why” of the dance instead of the “how,” which I think shows that I was leaning more into acting from that point. My older sister, Tori, was a really lovely ballerina, which I wish I had studied, but watching her and her peers perform taught me a lot about nonverbal characters. My twin sister, Salon, ended up getting a degree in dance from Bowling Green State University, and her approach to choreography and performance is really character-driven. My younger brother, Austin, is brilliant with accents and comedic timing. There must’ve been something in the food Mom and Dad used to feed us. Anyway, acting. My freshman year of high school, our choir director announced that they were doing Fiddler on the Roof. My parents decided to show us this movie. I wasn’t put off by it being older, since we had grown up on DVDs of The Andy Griffith Show and Gomer Pyle USMC and I Love Lucy, and I had loved movies like The Sound of Music. I watched the movie and knew I wanted to be a part of the show. I was cast as Nachum the Beggar and a Russian Soldier, and I had the time of my life. At the same time, I started in show choir at the high school, which is a choir that sings and dances and competes around the area. Throughout high school, I did all the musicals (Joseph Buquet in Phantom of the Opera, my first lead role as Captain von Trapp in The Sound of Music, and Prince Dauntless in Once Upon a Mattress) and did show choir, competing in competitions across Ohio and Indiana, and I think we went to West Virginia – maybe Kentucky too? Lots of places. I loved acting, but knew it wasn’t a “sure thing” as a career, so I decided to go to college for business. After a few weeks, I changed to education, and then, after much urging from both the theatre faculty and the education faculty, I changed my major to Theatre Studies and decided to do the thing. I was lucky that Capital University allowed non-theatre majors to do plays, so I had the opportunity to be on stage early in my first year there and discover that my passion for acting could actually be a lifelong endeavor.

You attended Capitol University in Ohio…..what was your experience there like? In your opinion,is a formal acting education better than a practical one? What do you think you got from college that you wouldn’t have gotten without attending school?

I loved Capital University. I still love it. It’s a place where I was challenged and inspired. I think the very fact that my education professors were willing to push me and tell me that, even though they thought I would make a good teacher, I needed to be an actor. They were right, but I needed to hear it from people I trusted. I needed to know that it was okay to take that risk. I absolutely, in no way, unequivocally feel that a practical education is, in every way, superior to a formal one. That does not mean that a formal education is bad, and I would advocate for combining the two, but let’s be honest: if I’m boarding a plane flying from NYC to Berlin, do I want a pilot that has gone through four years of school and knows everything but has never flown, or do I want the self-taught pilot that’s been flying from NYC to Berlin every day for four years without incident? Again, I don’t mean to say that a formal education is bad. It’s not. Mine was enormously influential. I would not have a career if it were not for Dr. Bill Kennedy, Dr. Dan Heaton, Dr. Sharon Croft, Jeff Gress, and the late Mark Baker at Capital. The thing that was so wonderful about Capital was that I was taught theory – I learned aspects of Stanislavski and Strasberg and Chekhov, but I also got to learn the Kennedy method from Dr. Kennedy. I learned what I would call the Heaton method from Dr. Heaton. I developed what one might call the Gegel method, if one was bored enough to do so, which is a combination of the things that work for me. Not every strategy and theory works for everyone. At Capital, there was no strict dogma that was forced down my throat. I was given the opportunity to study and learn and steal what I felt would work for me. Then, it was up to me to implement it. If I hadn’t engaged with Shakespeare on an academic level, if I hadn’t learned directing and scenic design and lighting and magic from those professors, I wouldn’t be where I am. None of that is to say that I couldn’t have picked up on those things from a practical career. I think it comes down to the individual. To someone that is considering a formal education, I would just encourage them to look at schools and find a place that works for you as a human. Capital isn’t strictly an acting school. Most of the Theatre Studies majors weren’t necessarily there to be actors. As a result, I had this weird and eclectic group of well-spoken theatre nerds that thought differently than me and that made me a better actor. If you can’t afford school or don’t want to take those years to focus on academics, then be prepared to hustle every day. Capital was essential to my development of a network that I could work in. I guess, to summarize: Acting is a physical, practical career. You can only truly learn acting by acting. Because of that, the practical education will always be superior. But I do not regret my formal education, and I do not believe I would have a career without it. For me, the educational foundation allowed me to explore the practicality of it. It’s up to the individual. Oh, and if you are considering a formal education… check out Capital University in Columbus, Ohio. It’s a great place.

From an actor’s point of view,why are short films so important? What was your experience like on your first film,”Fracture”?

That’s a great question. Short films can almost feel like internships for an actor. They’re a chance to explore physicality and choices on a smaller scale, and to create a character arc in a short amount of time. They’re a great training ground, and a really great chance to meet and connect with other actors and with filmmakers. They can also be amazing professional experiences, and they give you a great deal of footage for an acting reel that can help you land a feature film or an agent or anything like that. My first film, Fracture, was definitely an interesting experience. I think we filmed it during my second year of college. The cinematographer, Dan Stemen, was in a play with me, and asked me if I wanted to be in this short film they were shooting on campus. I knew the director, Alex Caperton, and was game to try it. I had never even studied film acting before, and it was a brutal crash course in consistency between takes and being more subtle for the camera and all of the stuff that any basic technique book would tell you. Let that detail how important short films are, though. That cinematographer, Dan? He was the cinematographer of my feature film, Cadia: The World Within. He’s one of my best friends to this day. He’s since placed at several festivals and even won a regional EMMY Award for his lighting and camerawork. I’m blessed to know him and have had the chance to work with him so early in my career. This industry is all about the connections you make. Dan’s one of the best.

What three things do you like most about films? What three things do you like about live theater? If given a choice,would you rather star in a revival of a known hit play or tackle a new original play and why?

Wow. Okay. Tough one there.

Three things I like most about films:

1. It’s a deeply intricate process to watch unfold, and to see everyone doing their jobs as part of the system is really beautiful in a fragile sort of way. You have to trust each person to do their jobs and do them well.

2. It’s so wildly specific. The coffee mug has to be moved by a centimeter so that the light hits it right. Your eye has to look in the eye of your scene partner that is closest to the camera so that your face is more fully framed. You have exactly forty-five minutes to shoot a whole scene before sunset and the light is gone. It’s so intense and I love it.

3. It’s a bit more immersive than theatre tends to be. Scene is in a forest? You’re likely filming in a forest. Scene in a school? You’re filming in a school. It’s very in-the-moment and it’s cool to actually be in that space.

Theatre:

1. The danger. If you forget a line in front of a live audience, no one is calling cut. There’s no resetting the lights and going again. You have to figure it out. You’d better hit your mark for the spotlight and remember your lyrics for the big end-of-act-one closer, or the entire audience will make fun of you at intermission.

2. Theatre tends to have a very family feel to it. In film, you often meet a co-star on the day you film a scene with them. In theatre, there are weeks of rehearsals and time and laughter. You get to know everyone and have these little inside jokes and find the right moments on stage. It’s a very tight-knit group, which makes it really sad when the run ends and the show is over.

3. It feels like you are a part of history. Film is amazing and has a rich history, but theatre has been around for thousands of years. Hamlet has been moving audiences to tears for hundreds of years. Antigone has been frustrating audiences for thousands. Hamilton has been stunning audiences for, like, five years – but to be fair, it feels like centuries. Storytelling is the oldest form of communication among humans, and carrying on that tradition in front of a live audience is a really special experience. As for the last question, that’s easy: I’d rather play Jean Valjean in a revival of Les Mis. It’s my favorite musical and my dream role. Other than that, I’d be happy to do either, but if given the chance, that’s the answer.

How do you like directing and what has surprised you most in sliding behind the camera? How do you approach a directing job versus an acting role?

Another great question. I love directing. I love the unified vision and watching that which is in my mind became a real, tangible thing. I think the thing that surprised me is that I don’t have to know everything. That’s what the team is for. I learned that lesson pretty hard on my first film, Cadia. I put too much pressure on myself. The job is to direct, not dictate. You have to give freedom to your team to create and craft in their own ways, and trust the artists you’ve hired. I’ve directed a bit for theatre, and I’ve enjoyed it, but directing for film is a whole different beast. You’ve got to fight with the weather, the locations, and, most of all, the budget. It’s a really draining thing, and you really have to love it. The worst and best moments come when things fall apart, and everyone looks to you for an answer. You either give one or you make one up. There is no one else to look to. That’s a very scary and powerful moment, but if you’ve built a good team, it’s a moment that can change your film for the better. Approaching a directing job is entirely different. With acting, it’s a very narrow focus. I make my choices, and once they put me in costume and I get on set, the magic happens and it’s lovely. In directing, there are so many minute details to keep track of. It takes a great deal of work ahead of time to plan the shots and lighting and everything you need. I learned a lot on my first film that I can’t wait to implement on this next project. Mistakes made are lessons learned, and I’m very proud of the film we made. I’m just very excited to get better.

Tell us about your biggest project to date,”Cadia: The World Within”. How did this project come together? How much influence did C.S. Lewis have in your screenplay? How did Corbin Bernsen get involved with your film?

Yeah! Cadia: The World Within is a really crazy story, and I’m honestly still shocked that it ever happened. I wrote it for three triplets, Keegan, Carly, and Tanner Sells, who I met during a production of The Addams Family Musical. I was young and naive and thought making the movie would be simple – we’d just do a goofy little thing and learn something and move on. Eventually, I realized the story could be something special, and with the help of a great deal of people more clever and capable than I, we built the project. CS Lewis definitely had an enormous impact. I’m a huge Narnia fan (Netflix, if you read this, I’m available for your adaptation). I think Lewis and JK Rowling and JRR Tolkein and Chris Paolini (Chris, if you’re reading this, let’s talk about Eragon, because you deserve a good adaptation) wielded significant impact over this story. Not just their fantasy work, either – their ability to weave spirituality and morality and create interesting characters was something I learned a lot from. A friend I met during a production of Hamlet, Zach Throne, offered his help in mounting the project, and we formed our company, Just a Skosh Productions LLC, which was the official version of the production company Dan Stemen (the aforementioned DP) and I had been operating under during the previous years as we honed our work on short films. Zach and I began to raise money through investors and donations, using our personal and film networks. It was a grind and it was really, really trying, but we did it. Eventually, the conversation turned to casting. I loved Psych and so loved Corbin Bernsen, but we certainly didn’t think that was realistic. That said, you’re a fool if you don’t try, so try we did. We made an offer and sent the screenplay, Corbin’s manager said he’s get back to us, and the next day, we learned that Corbin was in. I was floored. He’s such a gifted actor and a really genuinely kind person, and I’m really grateful to know him. He’s got some really exciting stuff in the works and I can’t wait to see what he comes out with. We were blessed to have him on this production, and he was really, really amazing in his work with the triplets and with the awesome Dillon Perry, who was another one of our leads. Corbin’s such a professional, but he’s also so down-to-earth. We were, obviously, also quite blessed to bring in James Phelps, who played Fred Weasley in the Harry Potter films. He’s incredibly gifted as an actor, and he’s a really chill, funny person. He brings so much charisma and charm to his role, and I’m really glad to have gotten to know him, too. He’s one of the good guys in this industry, and I’m so grateful to have gotten to work with him and get to know him. We also managed to bring in some other great actors. John Wells, whom I had done a TV pilot with, signed on as Elza, and he was perfect for the part. Nicky Buggs, who appeared in Secret Life of Bees, does a wonderful job as Alice. Rick Montgomery Jr gives a really honest, understated, lovely performance as Shiloh. We were really lucky with the whole cast. I don’t think there’s a single one of them that can’t go stride-for-stride on any film set.

Do you feel Hollywood exploits the faith based movie genre?

That’s a complex question. I don’t, no – but I do feel like the faith-based movie genre can sometimes exploit themselves. As someone who is a devout Christian, it really bothers me to watch Christian filmmakers and fans victimize themselves when people don’t like their movies. It often has less to do with their religious beliefs, and more to do with the simple concept that some of these movies just aren’t good. These same critics are lambasting secular films for the same reason. Poor writing, bad acting, unrealistic dialogue – people don’t like those in movies, no matter the beliefs or genre. I don’t think it’s exploitation to make money off of films. The Erwin brothers and the Kendricks brothers are making their films for their audiences, and for the films they are trying to make, they’re making them well. They’re making them with good intentions and with sound camera work and lighting and people enjoy them. In my opinion, they are, for the most part, making sermons, mostly for Christian audiences, and that is okay. You can’t tell me that Spotlight, which is a brilliant film, wasn’t, in some ways, a sermon of its own. It was a sermon – maybe even a dissertation? – about the corruption of the Church and the moral and legal decay that occurred. That’s an important story to tell, but it was still a specific story with a specific goal. There are more mainstream films that are still deeply Christian in nature. The Book of Eli. The Chronicles of Narnia. Blade Runner. The list goes on. There are different ways to approach that aspect of spirituality, and Christian films can tend to run the spectrum of being more of a sermon to being more of a general film with spiritual influence. I’ve seen other projects – most recently, I watched Unorthodox on Netflix, as well as Greenleaf (my wife was watching them, and I tangentially absorbed them) that deal with spiritual and religious realities in a different way. I don’t inherently see any as more or less valid. It seems like a deeply personal preference. I do think that some of the criticism of Christian films is pretty off-base – the critics aren’t exactly understanding what they films are trying to do. You don’t go see My Little Pony and write a bad review when it isn’t The Shawshank Redemption. The Hunger Games isn’t about to be Little Women.They’re different films. Different genres. Some of these films are more about the message than the film, and that is okay. I wasn’t trying to win an Oscar with Cadia, I was trying to make a message of hope and love. It’s not the best screenplay in the world. It wasn’t supposed to be. Some of these films are labelled as “emotionally manipulative” and “trying to push religion,” and I’m, like, yeah. Of course they are. All films are trying to push something. I do think some critics get upset about the religion specifically, and I do think that is unfair. You have to evaluate the goal of the art and see it for what it is. Maybe, after you do that, the movie is still bad, and that’s entirely acceptable. I think it’s tough. It’s unfair to give a bad review to a movie just because you disagree with it’s messaging. You have to evaluate the art on the merit of the argument they make and how well they make it. I think it’s silly when I read reviews that say things like, “[Insert filmmaker here] was clearly trying to push their own belief system.” Yeah. Duh. Of course they were. Films are personal. Joker probably reflects some element of Todd Phillips’ truth. 1917 and Parasite both touched on the truths and beliefs of Sam Mendes and Bong Joon Ho. Queen of Katwe contains some part of Mira Nair’s understanding of the world around her. I don’t see why we can’t give religion the same reign. I absolutely understand condemning a film due to bigotry and hatred, but you’ll really rarely see a major religious film from a significant studio that is encroaching on that. Making a claim that Jesus Christ is the savior isn’t bigotry. As a Christian, I don’t mind watching films where they claim Jesus is only human, or that Islam is the truth, or that God is just a big imaginary friend in the sky. It’s just a different belief system. It’s art. Accept it and move on. It’s really very nuanced. Yes, Hollywood is willing to make films that play on the fears and anxieties of certain people, and that’s morally problematic; on the other hand, some filmmakers I know are unwilling or unable to acknowledge that their films have deep flaws. Both are problematic. I just don’t see Hollywood as being the big, bad agent of Satan that many of my peers seem to. I see Hollywood as being the business part of show business. Christian films make money, so they make Christian films. People drink coffee, so Keurig makes coffee makers. The world continues to go around the sun. That’s the way our society is structured.

You are at an audition and a fellow actor who is also trying for the same role as you asks for your help. Are you helping them or not and why?

Of course. No debate. I’ll help them in a heartbeat, and I’d hope they do the same. Casting isn’t up to me to begin with. We should all be supporting each other to begin with. I remember auditioning for The Little Mermaid. I did all my work as best as I could, and I sang the song as well as I could, and I think I did a good job. I did the best job I could. Then Jordan Young started singing and he blew me out of the water. I knew I had lost the part. I found him after the audition and congratulated him. We became friends, and we still support one another. I’ve even sent auditions to friends and they’ve beaten me for the part. It’s not a competition. Casting is going to cast the actor that they want, and the only thing we can control is our own performance. Anyone who answers otherwise to this question is a sad excuse for an actor and should get out of the industry now. That’s a toxic attitude and it’s problematic.

How did you meet your wife and how do the two of you balance your personal life and professional one?

We met in college in a Public Relations class at Capital. Became friends and started dating. We started dating my junior year and got engaged at the end of my senior year. We got married the summer after, a few weeks after she graduated. Since then, we’ve moved to Philadelphia, where she’s begun her studies at seminary to become a pastor in the ELCA. A lot of balancing our lives is understanding the weirdness of what we do – she is going to be shepherding churches and be with people during their dying moments and counsel people through the hardest moments of their lives, and I leave for days/weeks/months on a job and pretend to be someone else and sometimes work fifteen hour days in the sun and all the other things. Which also describes being a spy. That would be cool too, I guess.

It takes balance. I told her when we first started dating that my career is weird and that it would just have to be accepted, and we’ve since had the same discussion about hers. It’s an adventure. Our personal lives are pretty simple. We like to cook. We like to watch shows and movies together. We just finished Avatar: The Last Airbender. We play a lot of Call of Duty. We play a lot of board games. It’s a simple life, to quote Rogue One.

The cheetah and I are flying over to watch you shoot your latest film but we are a day early and now you are stuck playing tour guide,what are we doing?

Ooh. I’m going to answer this for two cities: my Philly/NYC work, and my directing work back in Columbus, which I where I prefer to shoot my films.

Philly/NYC: We’re definitely hitting up the Liberty Bell and Constitution Center, because they’re just plain neat. Then we’ll stroll through Love Park and probably head to the Rocky Steps. If we’ve got time, we’ll do a quick hike at the Wissahickon and enjoy the forest there, maybe even spot some river otters. Then we’ll grab a cheese steak (I haven’t had one since I moved here, so I’ll be a tourist with you) and maybe try to catch a play at the Arden or the Walnut Street Theatre.

If I’m filming in NYC, we’ll keep it simple. Walk through Central Park, grab some bubble tea, then people watch for as long as we can before we grab tacos at Oaxaca Taqueria in Hell’s Kitchen. Chill day.

If we’re in Columbus, we’re going to run the obstacle course at the Scioto Audubon, grab a light snack at Stauf’s Coffee, and explore the thirty-two room labyrinthian bookstore known as the legendary Book Loft. Then we’ll maybe catch an afternoon game with the Columbus Clippers before grabbing a coffee at the Roosevelt Coffeehouse, dinner at Schmidt’s Sausage Haus or The Thurman Cafe, and then see the Actors’ Theatre of Columbus do some Shakespeare in the park. That’ll be a fun day.

I like to thank Cedric for taking the time in giving us a top level interview. I enjoyed getting to know Cedric through his words and have nothing but respect for him and his vision. We’re looking forward to seeing Cedric’s work both in front and behind the camera. Of course we’re also praying for Cedric and his bionic arm to stay healthy as well!!

You can follow Cedric’s career via his Social Media.

SOCIAL MEDIA:

Cedric’s IMDb page

Cedric’s Podcast: You can find it here and on Spotify

Cedric’s Twitter

Cedric’s Instagram page

Cedric’s Facebook page

Cedric’s YouTube Channel

Cedric’s personal website

Feel free to drop a comment below!! 8 Questions with……….actor/director Cedric Gegel Its 12:25 pm cloudy/humid/16 Welcome to 8 Questions with..... One of the best things I like doing this series is just how randomly these interviews come together.

#8 Questions With #Capitol University #Cedric Gegel #Columbus Ohio #Film director #indie film makers #interviews #relationships #Rising star

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theseadagiodays · 4 years

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April 27, 2020

Art Became the Oxygen

It is true that artists, many of whom rely on public gatherings for their livelihood, are some of the hardest hit during this crisis. Yet, it’s musicians who are toiling away in basements to serenade us through isolated days. It’s comedic actors who are offering us essential nighttime laughs. And it’s visual artists who make meaning from this madness with images that inspire, console and provoke. The individuals of the creative community are like the unsung frontline workers of this pandemic, only without any salary to support their craft, or a 7 pm cheer to motivate them. Yet still, they make things because they must, just as artists have done since the beginning of history, particularly in times of strife. (SEE: https://usdac.us/news-long/2017/8/9/art-became-the-oxygen-free-artistic-response-guide-available-now)

In previous periods of economic hardship, the US government responded with forward-thinking programs like the WPA (Works Progress Administration) of Roosevelt’s New Deal (1935 to 1943). It was designed not only to fund huge infrastructure projects, but also to employ thousands of artists, musicians, writers, and theatre performers to stimulate the economy. Legacies of this program include Zora Neale Hurston’s Their Eyes Were Watching God; Jackson Pollack’s Composition with Pouring; and Mark Rothko’s earlier urban studies like Entrance to Subway, where you can see the seeds of his famous color studies from later work.

After natural disasters, senseless violence or war, artist activists have also rushed to the front lines, time and again, to help rebuild communities by activating their social imaginations and stimulating their civic agency with creative collaborations.

Philippe Thiese gathered digital stories of Hurricane Sandy volunteers in this short film: https://www.sandystoryline.com/stories/sandy-volunteers-remember-the-storm-and-explain-how-they-got-involved/.

The siblings of Eric Garner, a young African-American man killed by unjust police violence in 2014, came together in grief to write the song, I Can’t Breathe,based on his harrowing last words. Their music served as a rallying cry to a community berieved and betrayed by their law enforcement: https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/eric-garners-family-drops-moving-new-song-i-cant-breathe-192574/

And when a 2011 tornado took 161 lives in the small town of Joplin, Missouri, mural artist Dave Loewenstein asked kids about their dreams for the future of their town, resulting in this stunning piece, The Butterfly Effect.

So, in the great hope that we’ll kick this virus’ butt, and we will be left with a glut of ventilators, how about we use them to revive our society’s artists, since they are the vital oxygen that feed our souls.

In Vancouver, we are already lucky enough to have our City government responding with funding for the Murals for Hope project (#makeartwhileapart), which is transforming solemn, boarded-up shops and restaurants into colorful and encouraging messages that can help sustain us until their doors reopen again.

Geoff and I are also trying to do our small part to stimulate the creative economy, while beautifying our home in the process. We are very excited to have just commissioned a mural artist to spruce up our tiny backyard space, which we’re transforming from a gravel parking spot into our own tropical oasis. Here are some inspirational images as well as a shot of the yard in its current state. And hopefully, I can post the finished product, which will be painted onto the rotting fence, in a couple of weeks.

April 28, 2020

Art of Relationship

This period is not just requiring us to get creative with keyboards and canvases and cameras. It is forcing us to re-examine the very patterns that make up our daily lives and fit them all inside the same four walls with the same self, spouse, and/or kids, 24/7. Suffice it to say, this is no small task. But, if any of you are like me, the grand solutions have sometimes involved tiny changes.

Personally, my greatest challenge has been to find ways to carve out slivers of shared pleasure amidst my partner’s insanely stressful, often 13-hour work day, now that the pandemic has his team at our local transit authority in serious crisis mode. Of course, I’m a firm believer in hard-work. The pursuit of a classical musician requires many years of 5+ hours-a-day of practice. But I’m also a fun-lover, and a huge proponent of life/work balance, particularly having had to learn this the hard way, thru a chronic overuse injury. So, for me, Geoff’s manic schedule during the first month of isolation seemed far from optimal. And while this was especially difficult for him, it compromised joy for both of us.

Seeking guidance as we adapted to the new normal, we found a great online series by Esther Perel, whose regular podcast, Where Should We Begin? always leaves us with sound, simple dance steps that we can apply to the Art of Relationship. Here, she has created a 4-part series that specifically addresses problems which co-habitators might face in our current reality. https://events.estherperel.com/april-2020-webinar-resources/?fbclid=IwAR0kRHkuQvEGxcpNuHvPKmmExamZ2Jj_EMZzR-zGp8eDejCR94hE-ZvGYjY

Inspired by her wisdom, we decided that the 7:30 am meetings, which had been occupying our kitchen and bleeding into our morning coffees, every day, could be skipped for a 15-minute walk thru our neighborhood park. And, let me tell you, what a difference a quarter of an hour can make!

April 29, 2020

Finding Variety in Repetition

It occurred to me, the other morning, that this experience feels a bit like fasting. Since college, I’ve routinely devoted a week, every spring, to some kind of dietary shift, for my general health, and as a general mindfulness exercise. While I’ve tried versions of the Wild Rose and other popular cleanses with some benefit, the method recommended in Staying Healthy with the Seasons has always suited me best. It requires you to slowly wean off many foods (meat/fish, then sugar/alcohol/coffee, then dairy), gradually move to only liquids, eventually evolve to a middle day of just water, and then similarly reintroduce each food gradually. What I’ve loved about this approach is how much more aware of my cravings I become, how much I notice the “manufacturing of consent” that happens all around me to inspire my “wants”, and finally how various symptoms are suddenly absent once I’ve eliminated certain foods. Consequently, the slow reintroduction of foods allows me to notice, in much more specific detail, which foods stimulate which responses in my body (IE. huge bursts of energy from fruit; afternoon crashes from sugar; indigestion from soy; sustenance from bread and pasta - NOTE: Contrary to the wheat-vilifying trends that currently prevail, I typically thrive on an anti-Atkins diet, as someone who reaps tremendous fuel from carbs).

The parallels we are experiencing now relate to the stimuli that we’ve been “denied” by our self-isolating reality. Speaking for myself, instead of travelling frequently, as I often do, or eating at different restaurants every week, or working at a different café every day to switch up the creative energy around me, I have had, like everyone else, to learn to find sustenance and interest in a much less diverse set of circumstances. I am eating at Chez Me three meals a day. We are grinding our own beans and whipping up our own daily lattes. And most all of our daily walks and bike rides now start from our home.

But even within the boundaries that we can reach from the nexus of our own address, we have been able to slowly expand our radius of exploration to corners of our city that we had never seen before. This has felt a bit like switching to a vegetarian diet and gaining new appreciation for the crunchiness of a snap pea, or the filling nature of a portabello mushroom.

In these explorations, we have discovered infinite surprises which include a cliffside view of the Fraser River from Everett Crowley Park (top image), an old landfill-turned-lush green space in Vancouver’s southeastern-most quadrant. We’ve seen old growth forest that we had no idea existed so many kilometres from the shore, in Burnaby’s Central Park on our city’s eastern border. I’ve spotted my first-ever fisher (weasel) sneaking around beachside boulders on the northern edge of the city. And closer to home, I’ve noticed the whimsy of our neighbors’ gardens in far greater detail than I had ever looked before (as in the Gaudiesque, smiley-face hedge pictured above). Our ventures from home have been guided by little more than our edict to “follow the pink”, as in the most blossoming streets. And to document these journeys, I’ve been mapping the various routes we’ve taken. Interestingly, the trajectory somewhat resembles a many-petaled flower.

Looking for minute changes in what seem to be patterns of sameness is also the secret to one of my favorite movements in music and design: Minimalism. Perhaps this is why Max Richter and Steve Reich have become the soundtrack I’ve turned to most during the pandemic. Because their music trains our brains to find beauty in repetition while seeking excitement from the subtlest nuanced shifts.

Meanwhile, I know that many of us would love for there to be a magic wand that could lift all of our restrictions over night and allow us to return to exactly “the way it was before”, in the same way that I long for a mocha frappuccino when I fast. However, what we have been hearing from our leaders is that the more likely and safe choice will be to move into a gradual re-opening of our cities - a slow reintroduction of certain freedoms. So, the lessons we can learn from fasting and Phillip Glass ought to prove very useful as we try to be patient and appreciative of this prudent approach. Then, once we begin to shop and drive and socialize more, perhaps this perspective can allow us to also more clearly notice how we respond to each stimuli as we re-engage with it, And hopefully it will inform a new normal that can be more sensible and moderate and in harmony with this planet that we call home.

And, in case you’re curious to listen to a little minimalist fare...

Notice how welcomed the first chord change is in Max Richter’s Catalogue of Afternoons: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ubjylmxrj9o

Or drape yourself in his hypnotic music like a warm duvet with his 8-hour lullaby, Sleep: https://open.spotify.com/album/0JLN7JryQ2T7lBEYIrSQF1

And for a mind trip of the eyes and ears, try Steve Reich’s Piano Phase on marimbas: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3QoM7dgs_0

April 30, 2020

Film Festivals for free

Pahokee, at this year’s live-streamed Vancouver International Film Festival

Done wondering if Carol Baskin killed her husband? Couldn’t care less if Giannini and Damian actually ever get married? Well, for those who’ve exhausted the Netflix catalogue, there are plenty of other ways to enjoy film from your home. Lots of festivals have generously uploaded their content online. So, whether it’s mountain adventure, short films, foreign movies, or arthouse you’re looking for, here are some easy ways to link to those that are totally free:

Banff Mountain Film Festival - https://www.banffcentre.ca/film-fest-at-home

Cannes, Sundance, Tribeca, Toronto, Venice, Berlin and others have collaborated to bring an awesome line-up of livestream videos to the world in their 10-day We Are One Festival, starting on May 29th. While the festival will stream for free, viewers will be asked to donate to the World Health Organization’s Covid-19 solidarity response fund.

If you happen to remain gainfully employed, and it’s important to you to keep supporting independent film making, Vancouver International Film Festival has created a rental-fee structure for a number of films that they’ve now made available for streaming, too: https://viff.org/Online/default.asp

And Sedona Film Festival has done the same - https://sedonafilmfestival.com/mdfhome/

May 1, 2020

Boredom Killers: Ping-pong, birthday song, and Magritte gong wrong

Combing the internet for creative inspiration that I can share with readers has truly been a joy. It’s also got our own creative jucies flowing. So today, I thought I’d post just a few of the ways we’ve staved off boredom over these past weeks.

Tennis is one of our true passions. It’s actually sort of how Geoff and my relationship began. Given that we didn’t want our paddle skills to get too rusty, we didn’t let the fact that our little laneway house couldn’t fit a ping pong table stop us: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kait-zCV94s

Coming from a huge birthday-celebrating family, I’ve tried to make sure that friends with birthdays during quarantine could still feel pampered on their special day. So, 6 of us put together this silly ditty for our good friend Roger: https://youtu.be/EZKyrdOlvPk

And, we’ve jumped on the art replication bandwagon too. The Met & the Getty Museum have both followed the lead of the Dutch gallery that first initiated the Instagram art challenge which asks people to recreate famous pieces of art with only 3 objects from their home. https://www.instagram.com/tussenkunstenquarantaine/

Here’s Geoff and my attempt with Magritte’s Lovers. The challenge also asks for participants to create new titles, so this is ours, Kissing Strategy for Stay-at-home Lazy Toothbrushers.

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thinkhappybehappybn · 5 years

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It is no surprise that Jacob and I LOVE a good coffee. We have been to tons of coffee shops throughout Georgia, from Augusta, to Atlanta, to Columbus. We also experiment with making different coffee at home. One that we are currently drinking is La Republica Coffee’s mushroom coffee (Check out my post about mushroom coffee).

I have compiled a list of the 3 best coffee shops that I have found in Columbus, Georgia. These are in no particular order.

Of course you can always go to Starbucks, Dunkin’ Donuts and other places like that, if you want. We try to support local businesses especially when it comes to food and I urge you to do the same!

Cafe Motif

Cafe Motif is a pretty new coffee shop in Columbus. It has a very modern and clean design. Owner, Jaime, is intent on providing quality coffee and quality breakfast items. You can find local articles about Cafe Motif and you’ll also find that they tout 5 stars on Yelp.

They offer “A CREATIVE SPACE DEDICATED TO SERVE AND PROMOTE EXCEPTIONAL COFFEE”.

Our experience

We visited around 10/11 am on a Saturday and boy was it busy! There were several families and the workers were hustling to get everyone their orders. I decided I wasn’t going to try anything because I already had my limit of 2 cups of coffee and we just had breakfast at home; but Jacob cannot resist a cold brew and he loved it. Their prices are a little higher than other coffee shops but you can tell why. Cafe Motif are providing quality. Jacob said their cold brew was made well and he would definitely spend the extra money to buy from here.

I follow Cafe Motif on Instagram and they are always posting new menu items that look amazing.

Midtown Coffee House

Midtown Coffee House is one of those comforting places where you just feel like you’re at home. Their mission:

“Midtown Coffee House is a new concept with an old soul. We’re committed to providing premium food and drinks in a way that makes our community feel welcome and comfortable. From our ingredients to our attitudes, everything we do is fresh and inviting. Our passion…living our faith by serving others with our best.”

This coffee house has a wide range of amazing coffee and great food. Something else I like about this place is their subtle mention of God and Bible verses throughout. This adds a touch of comfort to me because I know that they are trying to do good.

Midtown Coffee House also has a coffee camper that you can book. You can book this camper for an event like a wedding on the weekend!

Some of their drinks include:

A Caramanilla, this a “caramel + caramel & vanilla latte”

Razzle dazzle, which is a raspberry mocha

And all of your classics, white mocha, mocha, latte, cappucino, and americano.

Some of their food items include:

Breakfast paninis with spinach, egg and feta OR bacon, egg and cheese

“Grown up” grilled cheese with Gruyere, white cheddar, and American cheeses with bacon on Italian bread

Lots of sweets, of course

Our experience

Jacob and I have been to Midtown Coffee House a few times and we love it. One of the times that we’ve gone, was before Jacob left for Ranger School. (check out my blog post about Ranger School). We both got coffees, his was a decaf because he was trying to wean off of coffee before he left.

The next time I went by myself the day of Jacob’s pass from Ranger School. He said he wanted a coffee on his pass so I went straight to Midtown. I also got their breakfast paninis that I mentioned above and of course I had to get the classic bacon, egg and cheese. On top of the coffee and sandwich I got a cinnamon roll as well! I ate my panini while I drove to see Jacob (I know, that’s a bad habit), but it was so incredibly good.

Jacob devoured the food I got for him and I was happy I went to Midtown Coffee House.

Will I go back to Midtown Coffee House? You bet! I love everything that they are about. They are putting out amazing coffee and tasty food!

Origin Coffee

We found out about Origin Coffee from a coupon book in the mail. When we saw the coupons there was no way we weren’t going to go! The coupon we used was for a free coffee, so we rushed there.

About Origin

Origin Coffee strives to make food and coffee from scratch, with fresh ingredients. Origin is committed to providing authentic organic Colombian coffee to their customers.

The decor is nice and simple with hints of Colombia all around. This is the perfect coffee shop to go for some peace and quiet, a good coffee and to study or do some work.

Their Menu

Origin Coffee has a variety of different drinks and food items.

Some of the drinks include:

Coffee, Americano, Macchiato, and cubano.

Lattes with different specialty latte flavors.

Some of their food items:

Avocado toast, club sub, Cuban sandwich and much more.

They also have a selection of desserts that I assume changes every once in a while.

Our Experience

When we went with our coupon in hand, we only got the free drink. We wanted to make sure they actually had good coffee before we spent some real money! The coffee was so, so good. You could taste the authenticity and also the worker was so helpful. Even though we didn’t get anything he told us his favorite lattes in order and his favorite sandwiches in order. I wish I would have written them down to share with you.

We went back just to try the food and I was excited and hungry. I ordered the “chipollo” and a kids grilled cheese with chicken added. I will be the first to tell you that I was no longer excited when I saw the sandwiches… let me show you and explain.

There was no description for the grilled cheese so I guess I shouldn’t have expected much. But this looked to me like an MRE cracker with cheese spread on it and all the cheese wasn’t even melted!

But anyway, on to my sandwich. The description of the “chipollo” is as follows:

sliced white meat chicken breast, roasted turkey, Brickman’s southwestern jack cheese, red onion, house-made chipotle ranch, avocado. Served hot on all-natural panini bread

Sounds good, right? Well it was and here it is.

It had the same MRE cracker vibe but it was actually really tasty. I didn’t really care for the Lay’s chips and to me it just took away from the “Fresh ingredients, made from scratch” vibe, but that’s okay.

Although the sandwich was extremely good, I left still hungry. (I didn’t want to spend more money on food when I could just eat something small at home)

Will I go back to Origin Coffee? Yes! They have quality coffee. I definitely recommend coming here and trying their specialty lattes.

There are tons of other coffee shops around Columbus and I am in no way diminishing their business. We love Iron Bank Coffee Company and Fountain City Coffee are awesome coffee shops located in Uptown Columbus. This list is just made up of coffee shops that I’ve been to and that I like.

If you have any coffee shops that you love in your hometown or where ever please share! I’d love to hear all about it.

Here are some coffee items that I’m loving lately:

Pet coffee mugs for only $13.99. Click HERE.

Cute coffee T-shirts for only $14.99, click HERE.

Colombe Coffee: Jacob and I have been drinking this coffee for a couple of weeks. Click HERE >>> La Colombe Corsica Whole Bean Coffee, 12 Oz.

Coffee grinder for those of you that buy coffee beans. Click the picture below to check it out.

Travel coffee tumbler to take your coffee on the go, click the picture below to check it out. It comes with a stainless steel straw!

Coming up next to the blog is homemade dairy-free coffee creamer & milk, a distillery, and a review of Smile Brilliant! I cannot wait to share with you all everything that is coming! If you have any recommendations of what I should write about next please share, I want to write about what you want to read about.

Submit your email to subscribe to Think and Bee Happy to be the FIRST to receive these blog posts.

Love,

Did you like the products linked in today’s blog post? Please support Think and Bee Happy by shopping through the provided affiliated links. I use this profit to keep this blog running and maintained. Thank you so much for your support!

3 of the Best Coffee Spots in Columbus, Ga It is no surprise that Jacob and I LOVE a good coffee. We have been to tons of coffee shops throughout Georgia, from Augusta, to Atlanta, to Columbus.

#blog #coffee #coffee shop #columbus ga #food #georgia #homemade #organic #travel

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serastepsforward · 6 years

Text

First Practice

I get a sense that my current telepathic abilities are much like someone yelling into a phone receiver, trying to repeat phrases and grow in volume while the listener on the other end could hear me just fine the first time. Need to ease into my feelings. UPDATE: not long after typing this I received an email from Su Walker telling me a shirt I ordered was in the mail. She ended the message saying “Wear your shirt with ease. :-)”

In the early morning hours of March 2nd, I was reading Inviting ET in bed and my post-cannabis thoughts were taking me out of focus. For years I’ve smoked nightly as a habit before bed, recently I’ve been noticeably weaning myself off the more I study these teachings. My alcohol intake has slowed down too. (Now to work on all the electronics...)

My distracted thoughts were leading me down an all-too-familiar path of decreasing light, approaching a sudden spiral of dysphoria and shame and confusion. Soon doubts crept in over my ‘validity as a woman’ and insecurity took control, afraid that ETs or Sasquatch wouldn’t have a reference for something like an Earth Human’s trans identity. Just as I began slipping off into this spiral, a clear and pronounced voice I understood to be female spoke in my mind: “I/We Understand.” Even though those first words were telepathically blended, the phrase was completely comprehensible, spoken in a voice distinct from my inner monologue. The voice resonated inside my head but felt as if it was coming from someplace to the left of me; I was reading in bed laying on my stomach propped up on my elbows. I smiled and felt immediate joy, it was not long after that I fell asleep with contentment in my heart.

A couple nights later I read the generously gifted P’nti Telepathy Primer before bed. As I was laying on my back in bed I felt a ping on my right temple, from the same direction as the voice from before. This direction seemed to be out my window and up, from the top of a group of very tall trees in our neighborhood. I realized I had been subconsciously looking toward these treetops during previous days when I’d be outside getting the mail or the newspaper, maybe returning home from a drive. These glances began occurring around the time I began more honestly looking into teachings of Sasquatch/ETs.

The next morning I was texted by an old friend who moved to Oregon many years ago who told me I had been in her dream the previous night. I’m going to call her in a couple of hours to talk about it. UPDATE: We spoke on the phone for about 40 minutes catching up and talking about how important and real it is to communicate through our heart space. She was right there with me the whole time about it all, how we could lift the world’s ailments once if grow enough of the light through love and service and compassion. She was unfamiliar with specific stories of the Sasquatch People when I brought them up but she was not phased all by the mention of them. She works as a counselor and life coach and said “I live in Oregon! Don’t worry, I’ve heard a lot of crazy things!” but she firmly believed whenever someone spoke of an out-of-the-ordinary visual manifestation, their experience was intended as a lesson in love. She told me what I was telling her sounded like the Sasquatch People were nothing to fear, just people who were far more in touch with the gifts of the Earth. I did not mention ETs, but she did mention a unicorn. My role in her dream was loving, friendly, supportive. Happy to see her and reconnect!

Across these initial days I feel great love and comfort and occasionally receive small awakenings of insight. I decided March 4th to go out into my backyard and meditate/practice telepathy. I hadn’t deliberately meditated in almost a year! As I sunk in, I was hit with waves of emotion. I began to weep apologetically, sorry for my (and my people’s) lack of discipline. I couldn’t help but sob and apologize for how misguided we’ve become and how far we’ve strayed. The apology then turned into gratitude. I felt so thankful for everything that our unseen friends have chosen to share with us and I felt thankful for reconnecting with this path toward light. The tears kept flowing but the emotion had shifted. My eyes were closed during these initial waves. I opened them and gazed up into the early evening sky.

As advised, I tried out a few strong “Hello the Clouds!” toward the sky above the Tall Trees and very quickly I begin seeing small twinkling lights scattered around my peripheral vision. This being my first real attempt, I smiled but was admittedly a little skeptical. Could those have simply been the spots one sees when they are lightheaded or stand up too quickly? I thought, I am not lightheaded. I am not standing up. Yet I see these twinkles in my periphery when I think about/address them. I see one blink in and out above a treetop. I try out a “Blink Blink!” and immediately another light blinks in & out over a treetop right next to the first one! These were not planes. These were not stars obscured by clouds. These were small but purposeful lights, completely visible and present in my periphery, generally vanishing once focused on but these treetop blinkers would linger for just a few affirming moments even after I would focus on them. I let out a laugh and a big smile. “Wow.” Above the Tall Trees I can see/sense shimmers in the shapes of ovals or discs. I stare lovingly into these shapes, trying to thank them to the best of my abilities. I feel an immense love from the shimmers.

(Throughout these instances I do my best to keep an open heart and my mind right, to not doubt any interaction or exchange as it could be hurtful to those listening. I remember reading in the Primer that if you feel doubts or thoughts analyzing your situation, you need to keep those out of your conversation.)

These next details I felt more unsure of: after I saw the second blink, I quickly heard a great whooping come from beneath the Tall Trees. It sounded to my mind like a woman whooping in her backyard, possibly screaming at something? It was difficult to determine the emotional context of her voice. My first thoughts were “Oh No I just called a UFO into the airspace above this woman’s yard or something” but I’m not sure her whoopings were in response to that. It did sound initially like someone seeing something that scared them or someone who had just been covered in a scalding hot liquid, a kind of sudden, surprised “WHOOOOOOOO WHOOOOOO WHOOOOOO!” I then heard what sounded like words and phrases after that but I could not make them out. I still wonder if it was connected to my friends or if it was somebody just screaming in their own backyard. After the whooping subsided I could hear a series of long, high pitch whining tones coming from my left (out over the valley to the North) which I could not mentally place. One can hear so many different sounds from various yards and the echo of the freeway from our deck so I wasn’t feeling as strongly about these sounds at the time as I felt toward the visuals. I think I tend to doubt subtle audio/visual cues because I’ve been conditioned to believe they are imagined and I just have a “very strong imagination.” Despite this conditioning throughout my life I’ve noticed such cues on a near-daily basis. Perhaps I allowed residual fear to distort these calls into more “rationalized explanations.” Funny how our own reasoning can be the true distortion.

Throughout the session there were little dropped-object sounds and rustlings going on around me. At certain points I could almost hear a faint breathing. When I finally make the intention of wrapping up, I’m still smiling with tears on my face. A butterfly visits me and goes up into the tree I am sitting under. Another winged friend comes close to my face as I am saying good bye and thank you to everyone who was listening before gently moving along. I walk to my back door to find it has been locked, my folks thought I had gone out with a friend for coffee. When let back inside, I was told that the dogs had barked like crazy at “nothing out front” (toward the Tall Trees) while I was gone. My mom figured since the dogs were barking so much, I must’ve had visiting friends who picked me up. I didn’t feel as though too much time had passed but my parents made it sound like I had been gone for a bit and a clock revealed it to be anywhere between 40 minutes to a little under an hour. Next time I’ll make a better note of the times! I asked my mom if at any point she had heard a woman shouting from across the street, she said she had not.

Over dinner my family had decided to watch Rachel Maddow and I felt comfortably dazed. My usual rises of political anger were kept at bay and I just sat and enjoyed my food. It didn’t hurt that the news was mostly good and it felt like some justice was finally being delivered; Governor Inslee of Washington was also interviewed and gave off a wonderful energy regarding his care for the Earth. There are six lightbulbs in that room spaced across the ceiling, eventually the lightbulb above my seat began to flicker slowly. This will often happen for a few seconds before righting itself, so nobody paid much attention. The flickering went on for a good 15-20 seconds and we each addressed it so I got up and walked over to the fader to reset the light. The flickering ceased as soon as i lifted my hand toward the fader. Moments like this are fun to chuckle at and laugh off with friends and family but this night I couldn’t help but feel like it was a communication. Later in the night several other friends contacted me through text, unprompted and unrelated. I wondered if they had been subconsciously pinged? I still have So Much to Learn.

Yesterday March 5th I decided to “take a break” from any sort of sit-down session (after only trying it once!) to recharge myself. My nightly activations were definitely being felt and I wanted to take care and pace myself. I had received a realization later in the night of my first session that there are still so many out there in need of help preparing for first contact and that, while time was ticking, this was in no way a threatening deadline or “doomsday clock.” There was merely a sense of great urgency regarding the practice of telepathy and the need to share it with as many as are open to it. I keep thinking of that scene in The Matrix when Neo first wakes up and is rapidly overwhelmed to the point of vomiting and losing consciousness. I feel in my heart that such a reaction is to be expected and is probably quite common. Seeing as we can’t all be vomiting when the time comes for an in-person meeting to arise, I decided to do my best to start sharing my knowledge with anyone who will listen. We can be a strong, perhaps even wise people when we bring new knowledge into our heart space. We’ll definitely need to shift away from our heads if we want to keep people from losing their lunch!

love and light ♥

#shimmer #lights #ufo #sasquatch #telepathy

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