#I am just airing 4 different people I know’s experiences here

[quantity-of-jokes-not-quality]

Not to make any bold claims here but…. French is perhaps one of the most gatekeepery languages on earth.

[ja3yun]

The Doll House | Sim Jaeyun

doll!jake x fem!reader warnings: fluff, smut (mdni), subby!jake, oral (m. rec), creampie, slight throat fucking, whimpering and whining, pet names (baby doll, pup), begging, anything else lmk! wc: 7.7k synopsis: it's your first week at your new job and you make a shocking revelation that puts your world in a spin and lets you experience something you never knew was possible masterlist | sunghoon a/n: hi! this is the first part of a 4-part series! again, i need to thank the requester for this because i am having so much fun writing it <3 the plot and everything will be gradually laced within each chapter so, while they can stand alone, it's best to read them all. thank you for everything and as always, likes, reblogs, feeback is all welcome!

p.s, please read the intro it sets up the whole story so you guys know how y/n got there and who soonyeol is.

You've been inside this home for exactly 42 hours and 51 minutes and surprisingly nothing significant has happened.

The silence surrounding the mansion is unexpectedly comforting, providing a much-needed respite from the hectic city life you've despised. The constant noise - whether it's the cries of babies, the grumbles of angry men, or the blasting car horns powered by thoughtless road rage - has progressively worn on your tolerance. No one talks about how exhausting it all is.

Maybe this is why people go on holiday, you wonder. Even though you're here for work, there's a sense of relaxation in the air that leaves you feeling peaceful. 

Before Soonyeol went on her ominous business trip, she left you a binder full of strict instructions on how to mind her house. It’s packed to the brim with dos and don'ts such as; cooking exactly 4 meals for the dolls at 5.30pm, placing them around the dining table, and never entering their rooms unless transporting them to their recreational activities. 

Each doll had their own rigorous routine, with some reading, some playing the guitar, and so on. Soonyeol made it clear that sticking to these routines is a must, which included the difficult chore of physically changing the towering dolls in the morning and before bed. They weren’t exactly hollow or porcelain, they were super realistic, their skin had some form of heat to it, and they had some weight to them but not as heavy as they first appeared. You had asked Soonyeol what they were made of but she brushed your question off, leaving you even more curious, the only conclusion you could come up with was sandbags or clay.

Currently, you are in the kitchen, cooking up a meal that none of them will touch. Of course, you didn’t expect them to chow down on your homemade lasagna considering they couldn’t even move their mouths, but seeing everything laid out and untouched after you give them exactly 35 minutes to eat (a rule in that godforsaken binder), it fills you with a sense of unease.

Within the mansion's walls, time seems to grind to a halt unless you make it move, you as the sole animate presence amidst the silence. 

You bring the plated food into the dining room, placing a dish in front of each doll. Despite the absurdity of the situation, you play along dutifully, conscious of Mia's warning that the dolls may be rigged with hidden cameras. To be fair, their eyes do seem to follow you, or perhaps that was just your imagination.

“This is such a waste of food,” you scoff, placing the last plate down to the doll with freckles on his face who is labelled in the binder as Sunghoon. You can’t help but think about all the food that is being wasted when there are people still relying on food banks, it makes you bubble with anger, yet, you’re the one doing it. You could easily just not feed them and just pretend to Soonyeol you did, but again, the eyes that surround the castle could be the difference between you keeping this job and going back home with nothing.

Soonyeol could easily fire you if it got back to her you starved her precious babies while she was gone, and that £5,000 is enough money to get you by while you look for another job, so you’ll do as you’re told for now.

With a resigned sigh, you wipe your hands on your apron and offer a forced smile to the lifeless dolls, "Enjoy," you mutter sarcastically, before turning on your heel and retreating from the room, leaving them to their silent feast.

“Thank you!” 

The words catch you off guard, freezing you mid-step. Did you actually just hear that? Slowly, you spin on your heel, astonishment written over your face. There they sit, precisely as you left them, their expressions the same as before. Yet, undoubtedly, the voice came from their direction.

Narrowing your eyes in suspicion, you examine them closely, your fingers poking Sunghoon’s shoulder to try and elicit any response, but one never comes. 

You could have sworn you heard a voice, a soft accent drifting into your ears. It’s not like it could have been the TV or radio, Soonyeol was lacking in the entertainment department, opting for more classic ways to entertain herself like board games and books.

"This place is making me lose my mind," you scoff, disbelief mingling with a nervous laugh. You are officially losing the plot, thinking the dolls can suddenly speak. What’s next, they’ll suddenly get up and help you with the dishes?

Maybe you just need to go for a walk around the mansion, touch some grass or whatever. Your mind needs some nature to set itself straight. With a final incredulous glance at the dolls, you shake your head, dismissing your fanciful worries. 

Stepping into the garden, you're greeted by the warmth of the summer sun kissing your skin. The sprawling lawn stretches for acres, overgrown yet hinting at hidden beauty beneath the tangled vines and moss-covered statues.

The pathway is clear, giving you a chance to wander further into the field. With some TLC and a green thumb, you ponder whether you could turn this landscape into a true garden, it’s not like there is much else to do, but would Soonyeol be okay with that? Everything else in this house is seemingly stuck in a different century; the large gold-framed portraits, the scatter of porcelain dolls that look like something straight from a horror movie, and the furnishings scream Renaissance. Maybe she prefers it that way.

You are perplexed by the mystery surrounding Soonyeol and her isolated living. A lack of information about her and this home has you grasping at straws. The mansion has no internet or even a good phone service which raises your suspicions about her more. There is only a landline phone that is set to make local calls. All you've learned from this information is why she resorted to placing a job advertisement in the newspaper.

Questions swirl in your mind. Why choose such isolation? Living alone, devoid of company or modern comforts, seems unimaginable. Two months might be tolerable, but for someone to endure years in solitude, it's perplexing. But then again, who are you to judge? She might prefer her own company and God knows there must be a lot less drama.

Lost in thought, you reach out to touch a thorn from a withered rosebush, only to recoil in pain as it pricks your index finger, "Shit!" you shout, instinctively sucking on the wound as blood wells up. Why you felt driven to touch such an obviously dangerous plant escapes you completely.

Sulking back inside the house, you walk directly to the kitchen, the sight of familiar surroundings provides some consolation as you go towards the sink, your injured finger throbbing with each step. Who knew a thorn could cause so much damage?

You reach for the basin and turn on the cold tap, hoping for a little relief. As chilled water falls over your wound, you sigh with relief, the coolness relieving the pain immensely, with a sudden sensation of peace flowing over you. 

The clock's chime breaks through the quiet, jolting you back into reality. It's 6pm so it's time to tend to the dolls again. You reach to get a plaster from the first aid kit, only to find it empty except for a single bandage and some foil blankets. Panic sets in as you examine the seriousness of your bleeding finger; it’s a neverending flow of crimson which only makes you pout, sucking on it once again.

Desperately searching the kitchen cupboards, you find bits of kitchen roll and sellotape. It's not ideal, but you have no other choice. You gently wrap the kitchen roll around your wound, securing it with sticky tape. The improvised dressing will have to suffice; the thought of spilling your blood on Soonyeol's cherished dolls sends chills down your spine. You don't want to think about what she would do.

Stepping into the dining room, you're greeted by the familiar sight: cold food arranged neatly before the four unyielding dolls. Their impassive stares seem to pierce through you, sending a chill down your spine.

With a theatrical pout and arms crossed, you address the silent company, "Didn't quite hit the mark with my culinary masterpiece, huh?" you jest, met only with the silence of inanimate figures. Chuckling to yourself, you gather the untouched plates onto the cart, contemplating a pragmatic solution, "Well, I suppose I could just freeze these and give them to you tomorrow," you quip. Soonyeol said to feed them, she didn’t say it couldn't be the same meal over and over again.

After clearing up the dining hall and putting the meals in the freezer, you make your way to retrieve the rusty wheelchair you are convinced will give you tetanus from the hallway closet. It’s the easiest way to transport the boys from A to B, and you daren’t carry them anywhere in case you drop and smash them. 

As you unfold the chair, a creak reverberates from behind you, causing your muscles to tense involuntarily. The hairs on the back of your neck stand on end as a chill courses through your veins. While the old house has its usual symphony of creaks and groans, this sound feels different, more sinister, as if someone - or something - is lurking in the shadows.

“Hello?” you say whispering yet not daring to look behind you. If you have learned anything from the multitude of horror movies you’ve watched over the tears, it’s that as soon as you look back, all shit breaks loose.

You stand there with your heart pounding in your chest and you scold yourself inwardly for succumbing to irrational fear, "Come on, Y/N, pull yourself together," you mutter, attempting to rally your nerves. But the silence that follows your whispered reassurance only amplifies the unease settling in the pit of your stomach.

With a resigned sigh, you steel yourself for whatever may lie behind you, “Fuck, Y/N, just turn around. If you’re going to die, you might as well get it over with,” you chide yourself, voice tinged with frustration.

Thinking it’s best to just face whatever your demise is, you swiftly turn around, half-expecting to come face-to-face with some unseen terror. Yet, all that greets you is the empty hallway, bathed in the dim glow of the flickering lights. There's no sign of an intruder, no lurking threat—just the same mundane surroundings you've grown accustomed to.

You never thought you’d think this, but you’re happy to see the tiny collector dolls that line the hallway.

A mixture of relief and embarrassment floods over you as you realize the absurdity of your fears. "God, I'm losing it," you mutter, a manic laugh bubbling up from deep within. With a self-deprecating shake of your head, you lightly slap your forehead with the base of your palm, chastising yourself for letting your imagination run wild.

First, the talking dolls, now this unfounded paranoia—it's becoming increasingly clear that the isolation of this mansion is taking its toll on your sanity. 

Taking a deep breath to steady your nerves, you shake off the lingering unease and embarrassment to focus on your duties. 

With a determined stride, you make your way back to the dining room, the memory of your brief bout of hysteria fading into the recesses of your mind. You push the wheelchair over to the table to retrieve one of the dolls, however, a glint of blue catches your eye.

A plaster - suddenly, inexplicably there, resting in front of the doll named Jongseong.

Your brow furrows in confusion, disbelief coursing through you. "How... was that there the whole time?" you mutter, disbelief colouring your tone as you glance between your injured finger and the God-sent plaster.

With a mixture of curiosity and trepidation, you reach out to pick up the plaster, examining it closely as if searching for any sign of trickery. But it appears to be nothing more than an ordinary adhesive plaster.

"Okay, this is getting ridiculous," you mutter to yourself, unable to suppress a nervous chuckle. The rational part of your mind insists there must be a logical explanation for the plaster's sudden appearance, but logic seems to have taken a backseat in this peculiar mansion. 

Surely you would have noticed it on the table when you were serving the food…right?

Deciding to set aside your questions for the moment, you carefully retrieve the plaster and apply it to your injured finger, the soothing sensation providing a small measure of comfort.

As you finish tending to your wound, you cast a wary glance at the dolls, half-expecting them to spring to life and offer an explanation. But they remain as silent and motionless as ever, their enigmatic presence only adding to the mystery of this place.

With a resigned sigh, you focus once again on getting the dolls to their rooms. Maybe if they’re out of your sight, you’ll stop conjuring up these ridiculous notions that are swirling in your mind.

“C’mon Jaeyun, let’s get you to bed,” you say softly as you pick him up with a strong heave. The weight of him in your arms is a humbling realisation that you need to start going to the gym more because lifting a doll shouldn’t be this taxing.

Plonking him onto the wheelchair, you begin to make your way to his room. The corridors grow longer each time you make the journey to their respective bedrooms and with the house being the size that it is, transporting them is the equivalent of taking a quick nip to your big Tesco and back.

Finally reaching Jaeyun's room, you turn the ornate handle and push the wheelchair inside. The room is bathed in a soft, amber glow, casting a warm hue over the plush furnishings and intricate decor. With careful precision, you guide Jaeyun onto the bed, taking a moment to study his features up close.

The doll's face, once unsettling in its hyper-realistic detail, now holds a curious fascination. Despite the initial unease you felt in their presence, you can't help but admire the craftsmanship that went into their creation.

Jaeyun's eyes, a rich shade of brown, hold a mesmerising depth that seems to draw you in and they glimmer with an almost golden hue when touched by sunlight, adding a touch of ethereal beauty to his already captivating features. His lips, full and luscious and they evoke sense of envy into you, marvelling at their perfection. His nose, a graceful arc that sits harmoniously amidst his features, only adds to the beauty.

With gentle admiration, you touch his bottom lip with your thumb, amazed at its softness. If Jaeyun were a living, breathing being, you can't help but imagine how irresistible those lips would be, how you would find any excuse to steal a kiss. The feel of his lip beneath your thumb is uncannily real, its texture mirroring your own, and as you release it, it springs back into place as if alive.

Your eyes dart over his face, drinking him in as you fix his long, dark hair, “You’re so beautiful,” you whisper, the words leave your lips almost unintentionally, spoken in peaceful tones as if frightened to disrupt the calm tranquillity of the moment. 

“Thank you.”

Your entire body goes rigid as you hear the same words from the dining table, mirroring the exact accent you had heard before. The hand that had been gently brushing aside the stray strand of hair now drops to your side, your eyes fixed on Jaeyun's mouth as it forms into a bright smile.

As if gasping for air, you stare at him in disbelief, pointing a trembling finger in his direction. "Y-you just spoke!" you manage to exclaim, your words choked with bated breaths. Panic threatens to engulf you as you try to understsnd what is happening.

Your mind races, grasping for something, anything to hold onto as the world spins around you but there's nothing, and your body betrays you, collapsing to the ground in a desperate attempt to escape the surreal nightmare unfolding before you.

With wide, terrified eyes, you watch as Jaeyun moves slightly, preparing yourself for the inevitable scream that threatens to tear from your throat. But before you can utter a sound, he rushes towards you with a look of panic etched on his features.

Jaeyun's eyes are filled with concern as he gazes down at you, his hand covering your mouth to stifle any outcry. With a gentle yet urgent expression, he leans in closer, his lips forming almost silent words as he implores you to remain quiet, “Please. Shhh, I’m sorry!” he says with urgency, trying to stop you from bellowing out and causing alarm.

Your chest rises and falls with the rapid beat of your heart, your head suddenly feels faint and conflicting emotions wash over you. Fear, confusion, disbelief - all vie for dominance as you struggle to make sense of the impossible situation unfolding before you.

With wide, frightened eyes, you stare up at Jaeyun, searching his face for any sign of explanation or reassurance. But all you find is the same look of concern mirrored in his gaze, a silent plea for understanding.

“I promise, I’m not going to hurt you,” he utters, his body now relaxing as he feels your mouth close under his palm, “If I take my hand away, please don’t scream, okay?” 

His words are filled with panic, a frantic attempt to prevent more concern. When you look into his eyes, you can sense the sincerity in his plea, a glimpse of humanity you didn't think was possible.

For a moment, the world seems to stand still, the air thick with tension and uncertainty on both of your parts. But then, with a shaky breath, you nod in silent acquiescence, willing yourself to trust the doll before you. 

Jaeyun’s hand slowly withdraws from your mouth but is still armed in case you fall through on your promise to stay quiet. Once he's satisfied that you won't scream, Jaeyun rises to his feet, offering you a shaky hand. You accept, noting the slight tremor in his grip, evidence that he's just as affected by this inexplicable turn of events as you are.

Standing before him, you can't shake the feeling of disbelief that washes over you. None of this makes sense - talking dolls, moving on their own accord - it's all so implausible, so surreal. And yet, here you are, faced with the undeniable reality of Jaeyun's existence.

"What are you?" you ask tentatively, withdrawing your hand from his as you study him intently, searching for any clues to unravel the mystery.

Jaeyun tilts his head in confusion, his expression mirroring your own bewilderment. "I'm a doll, you know that," he replies matter-of-factly.

"Yes, but how are you moving? How are you speaking? Are you possessed? Alive? Am I dreaming this?" you barrage him with questions, your mind racing with a million possibilities, each more absurd than the last.

“I’m Sim Jaeyun, manufactured in 2002,” Jaeyun says as though it’s so obvious, which to his defence, it is - the stamp on his back that you’ve caught sight of while changing him is proof, "I'm the model made for Australia. G'day mate!" he adds, attempting to inject some levity into the conversation with an exaggerated Australian accent. But his efforts fall flat in the face of your mounting terror and confusion.

"I don't understand," you whisper, your voice trembling with uncertainty, "How is this possible?"

Jaeyun's expression softens, sympathy flickering in his eyes as he meets your gaze, "I wish I had all the answers," he admits, his voice gentle yet tinged with resignation, "But the truth is, even I don't fully understand what's happening to me. I ended up here one day. The others just tell me not to ask questions.”

As Jaeyun's words sink in, a surge of disbelief sweeps over you, threatening to overwhelm you in a sea of bewilderment and despair, "Others? You mean..."

"My brothers, the ones you've been looking after for Soonyeol," Jaeyun says, his voice calm.

The realisation hits you like a tonne of bricks: all four dolls, like Jaeyun, are somehow alive. You've spent the last two days living under the same roof as these living dolls, entirely oblivious of their true selves. The idea of it sends shivers down your spine, and a dreadful feeling rises in the pit of your stomach.

Every creak in the floorboards, every echo in the halls - you had chalked them up to the ageing mansion itself. But now, you realise that they were caused by these living dolls moving about, silently watching and listening to your every move.

You contemplate the idea that you're going insane because the stress and isolation of the mansion have finally taken their toll on your sanity. But deep down, you know that this is far too real to be a figment of your imagination.

Sensing your distress, Jaeyun guides you to sit beside him on the bed, his touch gentle yet strangely disconcerting. A doll is offering you comfort while your mind is in a whirlwind of emotions that threaten to overwhelm you. In what world is any of this normal?

His thumb strokes the back of your hand as you sit in silence. A small smile creeps on his face and a blush somehow paints itself on the apples of his cheeks as he remembers your earlier comments.

“You think I’m beautiful?” he asks gently, drawing you back into reality from the maze of your mind.

“What?”

"You said I was beautiful," he repeats, his tone gentle yet earnest, his eyes filled with a quiet joy. Jaeyun's smile widens slightly, his body shifting to fully face you.

As you finally meet his gaze, the weight of his words settles upon you, and you see just how much your earlier compliment meant to him. The twinkle in his eye reflects a depth of emotion that mirrors that of a human, his happiness evident in the way his features soften and his eyes light up with warmth. If he was beautiful before, he is otherworldly now.

“Yeah…you are,” you confess, now reciprocating his blush.

Jaeyun's hand gently cups your cheek, his touch sending a shiver down your spine and you can't help but feel something blossom within you. His palm, slightly cool against your flushed skin, serves as a reminder of the surreal reality in which you find yourself.

Jaeyun's lips suddenly meet yours, enveloping you with his gentle kiss. Touching his lips earlier paled in comparison to the sensation of his soft, plump mouth moving against yours, and it sends a shiver of pleasure coursing through your veins; for a fleeting moment, you allow yourself to be swept away by the intensity of the moment.

But as reality crashes back down upon you, the weight of what you're doing comes crashing down.

This is a doll, not a real person.

You push Jaeyun away and your mind suddenly clears, “What are you doing, Jaeyun?” you ask both perplexed by his actions and a little disgruntled by yours.

His wide eyes only serve to make you feel guilty, there’s a tinge of hurt in them along with confusion. His hand removes itself from your face, leaving your cheek cold and craving his touch again.

"Soonyeol says I should kiss when I want to show my appreciation," Jaeyun explains, his voice tinged with confusion and a defeated tone that tugs at your heartstrings. It's clear that he's not accustomed to being rejected like this, his owner obviously giving him what he wants.

Now that you think about it, Soonyeol must know they’re real, meaning she has relationships with these dolls. Granted, you figured that out when you were undressing them and saw they are anatomically correct, but now this is a whole new layer. She has formed connections with them that go beyond using the dolls for her pleasure. 

"Isn't it cheating?" you ask, locking eyes with Jaeyun, ignoring your swift realisation of the risk. Those beautiful brown eyes seem to draw you in, inviting you to forget all reason and succumb to the burning need between you.

He shakes his head slowly, a tinge of hesitation in his eyes as he chews his lip, "No. Soonyeol shares us, which means I can be shared. It's how it works," he says, his words laced with desperation as he tries to defend his actions. He knows Soonyeol won’t see it that way, but he needs you for his own selfish pleasure; he can’t wait two months until his minder comes back.

However, the rational half of your mind perks up one last time, refusing to be influenced by Jaeyun's words, forcing you to express the painfully evident reality that lies between you, "You're a doll, Jaeyun," you say, the words thick with reality.

However, as if feeling your wavering resolve, Jaeyun's demeanour changes, his puppy-like appearance giving way to one of mischief and longing. With a sudden boldness, he comes in closer, your noses touching as your breath hits his lips.

"I'm a doll with everything you need," he says seductively, sending shivers down your spine as his luscious lips brush against yours with each syllable. 

Your heart races as Jaeyun's proximity overwhelms your senses. Despite the nagging voice of reason in the back of your mind, you find yourself unable to resist the magnetic pull of his presence.

As Jaeyun leans in for another kiss, his persistence and gentle touch send a rush of heat coursing through your body. You find yourself melting into his embrace once more, unable to resist his lips on yours. His smile against your mouth fills you with something beautiful.

His hand finds your cheek, his touch tender yet possessive as he deepens the kiss, sending your senses reeling. The surreal sensation of his tongue, colder than any other person's you’ve had the pleasure to kiss, intertwining with yours only adds to the intensity of the moment.

But as the kiss grows more passionate, you feel Jaeyun's hands begin to roam, his touch becoming more urgent and insistent. The way he impatiently tugs at the hem of your t-shirt and his hips practically humping the air through desperation, heightens your own arousal.

You draw back, taking your shirt off, giving him what he wants. Jaeyun's eyes light up in delight at the sight before him, his gaze raking over your exposed skin with hunger. Without hesitation, his hand instinctively reaches out to touch you, his fingers grazing over the fabric of your bra as he seeks to explore every inch of your body.

“You’re so pretty,” he whispers, as he stares up at you. You understand why he’s so used to getting his way, that face of his could start wars if he asked. 

With a soft smile, your fingers continuing to thread through his hair with a gentle touch, "Nothing in comparison to you," you confess, your words spoken with genuine admiration.

Jaeyun's response is a soft whimper, his body trembling slightly under your touch as he leans into your caress. It's clear that he thrives on the affection and validation you offer him, cherishing every compliment and sweet gesture. He isn’t going to take control of this situation, he wants you to lead him, to make him feel like he is yours.

And he looks so fuckable right now.

Feeling emboldened by the rush of desire coursing through your veins, you seize the opportunity to take control of the situation. With a newfound confidence, you gently push Jaeyun back onto the bed, straddling him as you hover above.

His eyes widen in surprise, a mix of anticipation and excitement flickering in their depths as he watches you with rapt attention. With a playful glint in your eyes, you lean down to capture his lips in a searing kiss, your hands trailing down his chest and exploring every contour of his body.

Jaeyun responds eagerly, his hands roaming over your back as he returns your kiss with equal fervour. But as the heat between you intensifies, you can sense his longing for more, his desire for you palpable in every touch and caress.

You plaster on a mischievous smile and lean back slightly, teasingly tracing your fingers along the waistband of his pants. He hitches in anticipation, his eyes darkening with desire as he silently urges you to continue.

With deliberate slowness, you begin to unbutton his pants, savouring the feeling of power that courses through you with each movement. As the fabric falls away, you're met with the sight of his cock outline, his arousal evident in the way he strains against the confines of his underwear.

You lean down to press your lips against his neck, trailing soft kisses along his jawline as you whisper in his ear, "Do you want me to look after you, baby doll?"

He mewls out and nods quickly, knowing that is the only thing he needs right now. Your touch is different to Soonyeol’s, yours is filled with a new fire that you’re discovering, while Soonyeol’s is experienced and knows of Jaeyun’s wants and needs. He can’t deny that he feels even more alive than before right now.

Trailing one finger over his clothed cock, you apply pressure as you reach his tip, causing him to whine out. You aren’t typically in charge in the bedroom but you can’t deny how easy it is when Jaeyun is underneath you, silently begging for you to claim him.

You pull down his boxers, seeing his cock in a new light. Honestly, you tried not to stare at it too long when you changed him but you knew whatever Soonyeol had ordered, she ordered it with herself in mind. He was average-sized but curved to the right, meaning he could hit places some others couldn’t; even the thought made your mouth water.

There’s a desire to know how his cock is standing to attention considering there isn’t any blood in his body, but this whole situation defies logic so what’s one more question to add to the pile? All you can really think about is how good having him inside you will feel.

Grabbing his length, you begin to pump him gently, still trying to navigate how fragile he is and how far you can take this. He isn’t made of glass but you still need to be careful. 

His reaction is immediate, his jaw slackening as you pick up the pace, your movements becoming more assured. Jaeyun’s legs kick slightly as his body involuntarily moves under your touch, desperate for more than you’re offering him.

Sensing his need, you lean in and give his cock a teasing lick before spitting on it, slickening the surface to make your motions even smoother. His breath hitches at the sensation, a low groan escaping his lips as he arches into your touch, craving more of the pleasure you're giving him.

With a hunger that matches his own, you release him from your grip and lean down, taking him into your mouth with a slow, deliberate motion. His gasp fills the air as you envelop him, the wet heat of your mouth sending shivers down his spine.

"Y/N..." Jaeyun's voice is barely a whisper, filled with a mix of disbelief and pleasure.

You glance up at him, meeting his gaze with a smouldering intensity before returning your focus to the task at hand. With practiced skill, you move your lips and tongue in tandem, exploring every inch of him with a fervour that leaves him trembling. 

There is an urge to look after him, with each whine and whimper he screeches out in response to your tongue flicking over his tip, you want to cherish him as your own. You carefully watch his face to make sure he is enjoying himself which clearly he is, his eyes screwed shut and chest heaving despite the lack of air.

Pushing his length further into your mouth, you feel the tip of him hit the back of your throat, piercing your tonsils as they involuntarily try to swallow around him. You switch between bobbing your mouth and enveloping his whole cock down your throat, staying there for a moment as you nuzzle your nose against his lower abdomen.

His fingers thread through your hair, a silent plea for more as you continue to lavish attention on him, each suck and swirl of your tongue pushing him closer to the edge of ecstasy.

"Oh god, Y/N," he groans, his voice thick with need. "I-I can't... I'm gonna..."

Can he cum? Like physically, is your mouth about to be filled with doll cum? You’re going to find out eventually.

But who says he can get everything he wants just at the bat of an eyelid?

You pull back slightly, your lips glistening with saliva as you gaze up at him with a wicked grin. "Not yet," you tease, your voice husky from the beating your throat has just taken, "I want to hear you beg for it.”

His eyes widen with anticipation, a need burning in their depths as he watches you, “But Soonyeol always lets me cum,” he pouts, the edges of his mouth drooping down.

“I’m not Soonyeol though, am I?” you retort, your hand stroking him again, “I can stop completely if you want?” 

Jaeyun doesn’t like that idea, shaking his head manically and chanting ‘no’ as he looks at you with pleading eyes. His minder is kind, always giving him the pleasure he needs when he wants it, so this is new to him, yet, he can’t help but find some pleasure in the prolonging of his orgasm.

“Come on, baby doll, beg for it,” you murmur against his tip, looking up at him through hooded eyes as you tease the tip of his cock.

His breath catches in his throat at your words, his mind a haze of desire as he struggles to find his voice, "Please, Y/N," he gasps, his voice thick with need, "Please let me cum. I need it, I need you so bad."

The desperation in his voice and his tiny weeps send a shiver down your spine, and with a satisfied smirk, you relent, taking him fully into your mouth again. 

You aren’t like this in bed but he just manages to bring out this side of you and you can’t complain about it. 

As Jaeyun's fingers tangle in your hair, a shiver of anticipation courses through you, heightened by the primal instinct driving his actions. You feel the tension building in his body, his movements becoming more urgent as he approaches the brink of release.

With a final tug at your roots, he tightens, his balls drawing up as he releases into your mouth with a guttural groan of pleasure. His hips buck uncontrollably, driving himself deeper into your throat as he rides the waves of ecstasy coursing through him.

You surrender to the moment, allowing him to take control as he thrusts into your mouth, his movements are rough yet achingly intimate. Each sensation sends sparks of pleasure racing through you, mingling with the taste of him on your tongue as he spurts his essence. It’s not exactly cum, it doesn’t taste like it, but it’s filling your mouth up, some of it dripping out onto the bed below you.

And as he finally reaches the peak of his pleasure, his body trembling with the force of his release, you swallow him down, accepting him completely. You lap up the last few drops before giving a gentle kiss on his bell, smiling slightly as you relish in your work.

Jaeyun’s face exhibits one of pure bliss, his grin wide and his eyes closed. He looks so ethereal right now, your only wish is to cater to him. Soonyeol must have her hands full if she does this with all of them, no wonder she would need two months off.

Sitting up, his hands pull at your jeans, unbuttoning them with determination but you stop him, “Jaeyun, what are you doing?” you ask.

“I’m going to fuck you, is that not okay?” Jaeyun’s eyes have that spark in them just like before but more intense, like he’s bursting to the brim with happiness.

You can see the determination in Jaeyun's eyes, the fire of desire burning bright despite the recent climax. His eagerness to please you matches your own desire to cater to him, but you can't help but feel a twinge of apprehension.

"Are you not tired, Jaeyun?" you reply gently, placing a hand on his cheek to capture his attention, “I don't want to push you too far."

Jaeyun's expression softens at your words, his gaze meeting yours with unwavering sincerity, “I’m a doll, Y/N, I don’t get tired.”

Damn, maybe you should invest in one of these unalive-alive dolls with the £5,000 you’ll get from this job.

He sees your astonishment and laughs softly, his teeth on full display, “You’re so fucking pretty when you’re confused, Y/N,” his voice is back down to a whisper, his hand enclosing yours on his cheek as he nuzzles into it. Jaeyun knows how to use his charm to get what he wants but it’s significantly easier when the person he is trying to persuade wants it just as much as he does.

You find yourself nodding in agreement, unable to resist his enticement. With a shared understanding, you move in to capture his lips in yours, sealing the moment with a delicate kiss.

His hands go back to work, pulling at your jeans to take them off of your hot body. You help him out, pulling away from his mouth to undress yourself, leaving you both naked and wanting nothing more than to be entangled in one another.

“Wow,” he utters as his eyes trail your body from head to toe. His owner is beautiful but you have something about you that is sucking him in, the curve of your hips and the stretch marks on your thighs; you’re a vision he never wants to forget.

You turn scarlet as you see him staring at you, suddenly feeling less confident than before. But he quickly eases your mind as he licks his lips and pulls you into his lap, placing you to sit right on his cock, “I think you were wrong earlier,” he mutters into your shoulder as he places kisses along your chest.

“What do you mean?” Confusion lingers in your mind as you process his words, your fingers instinctively tangling in his hair as you look down at him with a mixture of surprise and affection.

“When you said you weren’t as beautiful compared to me. I think you’re so wrong,” he admits in a hushed tone, hands roaming along your waist and down to your thighs, feeling every inch of you.

Leaning down, you kiss him again except this time, you grind your hips, letting his cock slide between your folds and his tip brush against your clit teasingly. The action makes you both groan out in lust, wanting nothing more than to be tangled in one another. 

Jaeyun lightly slaps your ass to signal you to hover slightly, ready to dive into you. He hasn’t had sex with anyone other than Soonyeol so his eagerness is palpable, his mouth fighting a bright smile akin to a puppy.

Once you’re above him, he guides his cock to your hole and sharply pushes into you, causing you to fall forward onto his chest.

He enthusiastically bucks his hips up into you, ensuring that he is catering to every inch of your pleasure. Although he enjoys being looked after and cared for, he will always reciprocate; your enjoyment is as important to him as his own.

It's funny how different he is with you than with his owner; with you, he wants nothing more than to impress you, evident by the way he's focused on fucking into you, but with Soonyeol, he does whatever he wants to give her pleasure but there's no need to put in massive amounts of effort.

You feel his dick pressing deep into you, that curve that you noticed earlier is now doing wonders against your walls. Meeting his thrusts, you bounce on him, your hands gripping his shoulders as you pick up your pace. 

The sound of your skin slapping against Jaeyun is like music to his ears, the smile he was trying to fight off now splitting his face, the joy of fucking you so obvious from his expression. He wants to do this forever.

Looking down, you see him lost in glee and lust as he continues to thrust up into you at a fast pace, his gaze down at where you’re pussy is sucking him in. Gently, you lift his face to look at you, his wide gleaming eyes now staring into yours.

“You’re doing so good, pup,” you assure him, kissing the tip of his nose. He feels his non-existant heart soar at your words, his face radiant with your praise. And you weren’t just saying it, he truly was sensational, probably the best you’ve had in a long time. 

Jaeyun takes your words of appraisal and uses them to fuck into you harder, his mouth now attached to your nipple and he sucks and licks at it like a man starved.

You can feel that familiar coil in your stomach that signifies you’re close to release. Snaking your hand down to your clit you begin to rub circles on it quickly, but as soon as Jaeyun notices, he nudges your hand away and takes care of it himself, rubbing and pinching it between his thumb and pointer finger.

Throwing your head back, your breathing stops momentarily as you push out your orgasm, your wetness coating your inner thighs and his cock as you cum harshly around him, “Jaeyun, fuck!” you cry, hands gripping any part of Jaeyun they can.

Jaeyun shudders as you clench around him, spilling himself into your heat along with you. He rubs his face desperately against your tits, relishing in the feeling of you against him. He has this aching need to be as close to you as possible.

Both of you are in complete and utter bliss as you hold one another, coming down from your highs.

As Jaeyun peppers open-mouthed kisses along your neck, he savours the sensation of your heartbeat, saddened slightly by his lack of. If he had one, he wished you could hear how loudly it was beating from pure satisfaction and tenderness.

"That was incredible, Y/N," he murmurs against the curve of your nape, his smile pressing warmly against your skin.

You tenderly kiss the top of his head and linger there for a moment, your fingers tracing light strokes along his back. But as the clock chimes once again, signalling the passage of time, reality intrudes upon your blissful moment.

"Fuck, I need to get the others to bed," you say regretfully, reluctantly withdrawing yourself from Jaeyun's embrace. The air feels colder now that night is settling in, and the absence of his touch leaves you longing for his warmth.

Jaeyun watches you with a mixture of understanding and longing as you get dressed, his gaze following your movements with a hint of reluctance, he wants you to stay beside him the way Soonyeol does, to look after him a little longer.

Before you part ways, Jaeyun reaches out to gently grasp your hand, "Y/N," he begins, his voice soft yet filled with urgency, "Please, don't tell the others. We aren’t supposed to tell you, and they already think I’m incapable of keeping a secret,” he says disheartened, the last sentence laced with vulnerability.

His plea catches you off guard, but you can see the sincerity in his eyes. Kneeling beside the bed, you take his hand into yours and kiss it softly, “I promise, I will not tell anyone, okay?” you reassure him, punctuating your sentiment with a smile, “This stays between us.”

It’s a promise not only to him but also to yourself. At the end of the day, no matter how good it was, you fucked a doll - an alive one, but still a doll. 

With a grateful smile, Jaeyun leans in to press a gentle kiss against your lips, a silent gesture of gratitude for your understanding, “Thank you, Y/N. This won’t be the last time, will it?” he asks tentatively, trying to seek out how you might feel about the entirety of the situation.

You weigh up the question in your mind. On one hand, you would have someone to talk to and indulge in, but on the other, it’s risky and if Soonyeol found out, you know there would be hell to pay.

“Let’s just see how it goes, pup,” you say vaguely, kissing his forehead one more time.

This mansion is filled with secrets that you need to uncover, and you have two months to do it.

taglist: @nshmrarki @kgneptun @ui11iane @addictedtohobi @parksunghoonsgf @chaewonshoney @chiiiiiiiiis @lilyuwon @rayofsunshineeee @moon7jay @erehkinnie30 @brownsugarbaybee @minniejenseo @woninluv @jaysluvs @fakeuwus @capri-cuntz @ash024 @who-tf-soddhi @bambangan @vousty @heeseungspookie @alvojake @yorukoshii @haechonly @riftanswhore @belowbun @emikotakayami @branchrkive @featjunranghae @thejjrl @nyxtwixx @sunghoonnsupremacy @nctislifue @itsnikitty @enhypenlovre

[icyg4l]

PAC: What Do You Need to Know About Your Love Life Right Now?

Hello beautiful people. The topic of today's reading will be about love! This is my first PAC love reading that is features photos of the Queen of Love Songs herself, cause why not? I try to vary in topics so that I can deliver diversity amongst my reading topics. I do offer personal love readings as well as financial, career, education, general and readings about the other relationships in your life. Without further ado, please choose the image of Beyoncé that resonates with you that resonates with you.

Top Left-to-Bottom Right (1-4):

Pile 1: Pile One, you’re down bad, girl! I feel like this pile is in a monogamous relationship right now and you may be scared of what is to come. I feel like this relationship is new. This could be your first serious relationship that you’ve been in. And because of this, you feel afraid to mess anything up. Basically, you have high standards for this and don’t want it to end. There is nothing wrong with feeling this way. It’s common. But you need to be exerting this passionate energy into other things as well. Your relationship will only fail if you stop putting effort into it. So please… relax. Also, please stop letting any other failed attempts of relationships that you’ve had in the past affect your future. I don’t know why you let this happen but you are not the same person you were then. You have different boundaries and a different sense of self so please go easy on yourself, my love! You are not going to fail, boo. Just keep on moving with your boo! And lastly, ease into this whole exclusivity thing. Don’t rush it. You don’t have to expose your relationship to the public just yet. Do everything when your body feels it is right.

Cards Used: Temperance, Ace of Cups, Ace of Discs, 2 of Swords, Princess of Wands, 6 of Discs, 5 of Cups.

extras: dramatic. singer-songwriter. poet. dimples. big curly hair. big heart.

Pile 2: Pile Two, you’re quite the cocky one, aren’t you? I feel like this pile is someone that’s really guarded with their heart. You don’t seem to be easily trusting of others in general. I think you’re really focused on making stuff happen in terms of climbing the social ladder and congratulations to you! I feel like you have been tending to yourself, which is great. I’m sensing the energy of an ex. You let go of this crappy ex and everything has gotten significantly better. I’m getting big air sign energy from this pile, some real brainiacs are here lol. I feel like you should continue to focus on pursuing your personal goals and someone needs to here this: Go get your toes done! You’ve been doing an excellent job of calling the shots and exercising your throat chakra. You are not obligated to stay in anyone’s life in order to help them get their shit together so if someone makes you feel guilty for doing so, then fuck them! Pile Two, you owe yourself loyalty for sure. Please give it to yourself. Be generous towards yourself.

Cards Used: 6 of Wands, The Magician, 5 of Wands, 8 of Cups, 9 of Wands, Ace of Swords, Justice.

extras: megan thee stallion. rapper. un poco loco. ashley tisdale. donuts.

Pile 3: Pile Three, are you ready? I feel like you’ve been holding onto this very specific arrangement of love. You want to experience the magic of it all. However, it’s been a minute since you’ve been on the scene. I am getting some inexperience here. Maybe you’ve never really dated like that to begin with or it’s been a minute since you’ve gotten out there. I feel like there is actually someone on the horizon that you will come across. This could be someone that you work with or someone that you are already acquainted with. I think that this person would want to take you out on dates and do things the old fashioned way. They would be willing to do whatever you’d like but at the same time, they will take the lead. But in order for this, you have to be comfortable with the uncomfortable. It’s possible that you could also be divorced/widowed/distrusting of the dating scene (that’s completely understandable). But you need to listen to your gut, Pile Three. You will attract your person by keeping that vision pinned in the back of your mind, and I mean it.

Cards Used: 4 of Discs, The Lovers, The Chariot, 3 of Discs, The Hermit, 9 of DIscs.

extras: fresh prince of bel air. melanie barnett/”med school.” peaches. lint. seamstress.

Pile Four, someone’s getting some good good, but at what cost? Being in a sexual relationship with someone who does not share the same end goal as you is not as fun as you’ve been describing it. It was fun at first, but you know you want something more. So, why deny yourself the love that you want? I feel like you are putting in more energy than this person because you want something serious with them but you are not getting anything in return. Now you just feel drained and that sucks. You need to gather the strength to move past this person and put your sacral energy into something that matters. You will only continue to be disappointed because it is a one-sided connection. That person is stealing your energy whether you want to hear it or not. If you want better/more, then act like it. Know your worth, babe! There’s plenty of fish in the sea and there is plenty of fish that would want to wife you up.

Cards Used: The Devil, 9 of Cups, Princess of Cups, 8 of Wands, King of Wands, 4 of Cups, Strength, 5 of Discs, Prince of Discs.

extras: doormat. bald head. venus in the 12th house. argentina. frankenstein. black and white. southern belle. drones. washington d.c.

[whslnc]

— Brat

nsfw mdni :3 | dom!brat tamer!bsf!vernon x fem!reader | 1.1k

!! overstimulation, brat reader, slightly controlling, loud moaning(f), fingering, doggy, petname (babe), dirty talking, maybe others but it should be fine lemme know if you care !!

- this came to me in a dream not vernon but this lol, vernon seemed perfect for the role, written at 4 am in the morning don’t even worry about it. neo culture technology

Finally, the day had come for your monthly movie night with Vernon, you had a whole system you operated so it could be a fun experience for both of you. Picking out of a box filled with movies titles you had both submitted throughout the past few months, you both picked a movie then decided which one out of the two you would see that night, sometimes going for both.

This night was no different, you had decided on a movie for the night together, sitting on your respective sides of the couch. You let your legs lounge on his lap, resting your back against the arm rest, not paying mind to his playful poking on your thighs as the movie begun.

Most of the first hour, you sat in silence just throwing in a funny remark here and there for giggles, then came the scenes. After watching so many movies the sex scenes, bothered you less and less, you’d usually take the opportunity to say something dumb about it but your focus was elsewhere. The touch was delicate, faint almost, his fingers running up your thighs, it was hard to think coherently with the uncensored scenes in front of you.

“No one is screaming that loud, that’s hilarious” you force the words out trying to get your mind off the soft touches, your voice caught his attention and his roaming hand stopped.

“Some people get really loud to be honest” he says, nodding to himself before turning to you, you narrow your eyes at him trying to figure out if he was talking from experience or just generally.

“Like you’ve had someone screaming in bed?” he laughs at your confused expression answering your question with a nod, amused by the fact that you find it impossible.

“I’m sure you do” there was no way, you had never experienced it so it didn’t seem probable to you, simply agreeing reluctantly to your friend’s baseless claims.

He looks at you closer brows furrowed as he leans in, his hands perfectly wrapped around your thighs sliding further up, stopping inches away from your bulging lips.

“You think I’m lying?” a soft laugh of disbelief escapes his mouth, his eyes scan your face genuinely curious, watching you blink away before speaking up.

“I’m just saying any one can fake pleasure” you finally say looking back at him, a hint of shock under his smile, his lips twitching as he lets out a scoff.

“Fuck, I didn’t know you were such a brat”

One glance down between your legs, it was so obvious how badly you wanted it, for his hand to move closer to press against your aching clit just begging to be stimulated. That didn’t matter, he watched as your breaths grew bigger, your hips moving closer subconsciously drawn to the touch of his hand just resting on your thigh.

“Nonie… please” that was all he needed, your whole body begging for him to make you lose your voice to his touch. The sudden pressure sends a jolt to your spine making you arch your back, just from his fingers rubbing through your thin panties. The sound of his laugh mocking you only adding to your pleasure, letting him pull down your shirt’s neck for your pretty breasts to fall out, you really were all talk so easily letting yourself get used.

You couldn’t keep your eyes off him, his thumb brushing against your nipple before pinching the sensitive skin sliding down to the base holding onto it as his lips met your pebbled nipples, his wet tongue pressing on it making you suck in air from the feeling. So distracted by his kisses, the feeling of his fingers slipping inside your wet skin caught you off guard, a soft moan leaving your lips.

“Don’t fake it for me, I know you can take more than this” his hot breath against your ear as he spoke, placing a soft kiss on your jawline, pulling his fingers out completely covered with your juices bringing them to your lips, pulling down your jaw to open your mouth for him.

You find yourself moaning on his fingers as you suck on them, enjoying your taste on his soft fingers. His smirk as he takes out his fingers makes you weaker than you already were, rolling over on your belly ready let him take your pussy.

Getting rid of all your bottom clothing, you bend over his legs keeping your ass up for him to use to his content. A light smack against your ass the feeling tingling to your desperate pussy, he slides his fingers back in fucking your tight pussy sliding in a third finger as he quickens the pace, your noises are barely quiet as his fingers rub swiftly against your spot, hitting you so perfectly you have to dig your head into the couch to mute your pleading.

“I want you to hear yourself,” you feel his hand grab around your jaw lifting your head up, as he places his fingers against your clit stimulating it with fast back and forths making you legs grow weak, trembling uncontrollably, weak taps against his wrists for him to stop only for him to push you further.

Your pleading becomes more desperate as you near your release point, he can feel you tensing so hungrily around his fingers, loving how easily you crumble, cussing out his name as you pour out on his fingers. He wastes no time making you kneel on the couch, spreading your legs out so he can get a better view of your throbbing pussy, standing right behind you.

“You’re so fucking hot baby, I’m gonna make you scream my name tonight” It was a promise, the sound of him taking out his cock made your pussy beg, missing the hot feeling of being fucked by a rock hard shaft.

Your hands grab each side of your ass pulling them apart for him to see how desperate your pussy was for him to fill it up, the scoff that escaped his lips was so telling. In a heartbeat you feel him thrust deep inside you making your back arch, his hand wrapping around your throat as his thrusts continued.

“Fuck… talk to me baby” with every thrust you feel you body grow weaker, the only sounds able to leave your lips are desperate wails from the overstimulating pleasure, his cock hitting harder against you repeatedly in only a second.

Your words are inarticulate, you can’t even tell how loud you’re screaming till he gags you with his fingers, muting your cries as you cum your whole body stiffening around him, grabbing your ass and squeezing it against his dick filling up your used hole.

You let your body relax on the couch completely disheveled, watching him take his seat beside you, pressing play on the remote to resume the movie.

“Let’s finish the movie now”

[yurisorcerer]

I'm not gonna pretend I have anything super new or innovative to say about Mobile Suit Gundam. It's one of the most-analyzed anime ever, and I pale in comparison to some of the people who *have* analyzed it, but here I am, thinking about it regardless.

For context, I am watching this as part of a---as she called it---"comet swap" with my good friend @charaznablespeteevee, where I watch a mecha anime she is obsessed with (Gundam) and she watches one I am obsessed with (Code Geass). I'm not sure if I'm going to write a big long post like this about every episode (since I'm going to *try* to watch at least one per day, that would get quite exhausting), but I am liveblogging it more informally over on the worst website on Earth, if you're willing to put up with that Nazi-infested hellhole long enough to read some posts from yours truly.

In any case, Gundam and Code Geass. are many differences between these, the main ones being that Code Geass is more recent and also not widely hailed as a masterpiece of its form. It does *draw* notably from Gundam though despite having very different artistic aims and a different tone, so watching this makes sense in a way. I spent way too much of my teenagerhood obsessed with Lelouch, and now I'm watching the anime that his archetypal grandfather came from. (Goddess have mercy on my soul.)

My experience with Gundam as a franchise prior to this is very limited, but I do have some. For reference, I have seen all of:

Gundam 00, back when it aired on the SyFy channel when they had an anime block many years ago. I really liked this as a teenager but I don't remember it super well.

The Witch From Mercury, lesbian space combat, with a notable Code Geass staff connection. WFM was not perfect or anything but I loved it a lot and Suletta is very dear to me. I actually bought an Aerial gunpla a few months ago that is currently sitting unassembled in my closet.

the first Gundam 0079 compilation movie. Now, it might seem weird that I've seen this and am now going back to watch the TV series. But, while I remember the general outline of what happened, I was SUPER sick when I watched it, and I only remember what happened really, really vaguely. While I have some idea of the general outline of what's to come, I'm mostly going in genuinely blind.

like 4 or 5 episodes of Victory Gundam, which I liked but kind of fell off of. So we're giving the franchise a proper second go here.

I'm a mecha fan more generally, and I'll get into some of that as I write these, but for now that's the relevant stuff.

Anyway, my main impression of 0079's first episode is actually a structural one. It's REALLY well put together. We introduce the setting, we introduce our main characters, and we introduce the main conflict, all very economically and with a lot of style---more style than some shows with significantly less room to work with manage, in fact---and I'm immediately invested in the fate of our main character, Amuro Ray.

From what I gather here (and a little bit from outside information), my impression is that of a kid who loses his innocence very, very rapidly over the course of this story. Here, the space-hab-thing he lives on is attacked, and he ends up in the cockpit of an experimental superweapon called a Gundam (maybe you've heard of them?). I LOVE how the Gundam is framed here, like some kind of genuinely scary war machine. It's an intentionally othering effect i mostly associate with later mecha anime, especially those with outright monstrous mecha like Evangelion or even The Big O, so to see it here in such a comparatively early series in the genre is impressive.

The episode's climax sees him kill two soldiers from the enemy nation of Zeon, but it's not a triumphant thing, really. He's portrayed as kind of not really knowing what he's doing, flailing around inside this gigantic walking tank / mechanical war god. But then when he *does* figure things out, well, he has to deal with the fact that he just killed two dudes. Going by the cliffhangery ending here, it doesn't seem like his troubles are over, either.

[pseudowho]

Hello, Haitch! I was hoping we could discuss the extent of emotion or attachment towards fictional media? If the topic intrigues you as it has significant personal relevance to me 🤔

I just feel so intensely, so much, towards fictional media. Like it’s a tidal wave of emotion. For example, reading “Annihilation” has gotten my pulse skyrocketing and adrenaline rushing. It’s followed with the urge to have an in-depth book discussion with like a literature professor or something. Or when I’m reading your fics, I’m kicking my feet in the air and I have to pause to take deep breaths because, oh my goodness,oh my goodness, the room just got 10 degrees F hotter. Or when I read the lyrics to “Where our blue is” before bed, I legitimately woke up at 4:00 AM for no reason other than the feeling of emptiness. What did I do solve it? Listen and read the lyrics to “Akari” 💀💀 (Two skulls because I died twice that day.)

It’s strange because I do not have these strong reactions in my everyday life outside of reading and TV. I don’t find myself having the same level of intensity. If I were to describe the comparison of emotional reaction between life outside of media and my attachment to media, it’s almost like a parallel circuit. I will even draw a diagram below:

Voltage represents the intensity of emotions. Path A involves multiple resistors which represent the every day events outside of media. Here, each resistor has less voltage (less emotional reaction). Path B has only one resistor which represents fictional media I consume as a whole. There’s only one resistor which means it has LOTS of voltage, meaning that I experience more emotional intensity towards media than the events of day-to-day life. *Sigh.* What a terrible analogy. I do not know why basics physics came to mind.

I think a lot of my friends who I’ve confided in misunderstand me. This does not mean that I value the lives of fictional characters over my own life. (That’s not healthy.) I place equal importance in both aspects, and hence, that’s why I drew a parallel circuit! The same total amount of voltage travels through each path.

I value media because it’s an opportunity for me to immerse myself in something new, to be able to learn something I’ve never thought about before. It’s an opportunity to be able to empathize with certain characters, to change your perspective, to be able to apply what you have learned from media into real life. So while media and life outside of media seem like separate entities, they are— for me, personally— very connected. The lessons I intake from media combined with real-world experiences make up who I am. Two different paths, but it is still part of the same circuit. (I feel so cheesy for saying that 😂)

Before I’ve always limited myself to being just an observer, never actually participating in discussions. I’d keep my thoughts and feelings about whatever I read or watched to myself in a little notebook. (I have managed to use all the pages of that notebook!) Maybe visit forums or watch YouTube analysis videos and see what others have to say, but I never participated. Only recently have I felt this surge of intensity (borderline overwhelming). And because of this, I have the strong urge to express these ideas and feelings to people who get it and are happy to talk about it.

I mentioned this before, how you’re the reason I downloaded Tumblr and started participating in a community. And I sincerely mean it. It’s because of the fluffy and/or smoldering emotions that bombarded me because of your fics. It was too good, how could I not acknowledge how much positive emotions you 🫵 made me feel. Not only because of how indulgent and engaging (😏) your fics are, but because of how you imbue the essence of Nanami Kento himself into it (and you deny being a goat 🐐). And this prompted me to think more critically about why I admire Nanami Kento, which led to very blissful discussions of Nanami and more character analysis!

This is why I feel an enormous amount of gratitude towards the community. Especially you, @mrhaitch, and @rahuratna. For being open to talk to, for having genuine interest in these in-depth conversations, and for taking the time and effort out of their day to be so thoughtful. It’s very, very meaningful to me.

*This ask has undergone two rounds of revision. I hope it’s comprehensible-ish? 🥹

It's absolutely comprehensible, and a delight to read. Thank you. I adore it.

So, I am speaking as someone who's neuromild, but firstly I suspect you're neurospicy. This isn't an issue, but I have seen and heard this reported much more amongst the neurospicy, especially those with a tendency to hyperfixate on media forms, who perhaps find it slightly more difficult to read and relate to others in 'real life' situations. I only raise this as a contextual element to my upcoming Thoughts™️. I, as a neuromild, also experience it though (just to reassure you).

Characters in books, and the storylines attached to them, are 100% designed to be relatable or repulsive, and to provoke a certain reaction in you. It is structural, deliberate, mapped, with signposts showing you the way. There are even side paths mapped out; you can take detours down trails to explore the reactions of others to this character and scenario, the wider societal impact of events, the past or the future related to these characters or events. Characters and situations are very often explored extremely thoroughly, with just the right terrain to lead you by the hand through how you should feel.

Daily life and daily interactions and daily demands are rarely so well mapped, extensive or well signposted. The ground is tarmacked, genuine emotion suppressed behind facades of social expectation. People won't tell you or show you how they feel, or think, and there is no omniscient narrator behind them to fill in the blanks. Side routes have no-entry signs; you must be Level 10 or over to access this information! You don't want to walk this path, but it's the only route available, and as such, you must; and your disappointment at being on this path makes you look at the ground instead of the sky.

We yearn for connection. We yearn for the power to resolve our own problems and to be the masters of our own story, and at every turn we are corseted by societal restraint, daily tedium, and barely 10-20% of the volume of information and stimulation that media forms will give us. And when our brains cannot work out the difference between adoring real life characters and scenarios, and adoring fictional characters and scenarios, it goes for the bigger meal; why have 10-20% when you could have 100%?

Even worse! Your feet ache and your heart aches, and new paths appear, leading you to fandom and other people who are enjoying this journey as much as you. You can't resist, a glutton for more; why have 100% when you can have 120%? And people aren't writing fanfiction about real life. If they do, it's fiction, and while it's juicy it's still not as satisfying as fantasy, which offers so much more.

This holds hands with your voltage theory, I think.

Again, I say this as a neuromild instead of a neurospicy, but I am guilty of this too. I do often feel greater intensity of emotion for fictional scenarios because they are designed to be that way. When you have a vivid imagination, and are intelligent, as clearly you are, that stimulation sends fireworks through you. You are absolutely alight, every nerve stimulated, and the emotion just fizzlepopping through you.

I don't believe you're 'abnormal', but it is always good to self-reflect. Are fictional scenarios and media forms reducing your ability to enjoy/feel things for real people and daily life, or do you enjoy/feel things for real people and daily life as much as you always did? Think carefully now. The relative hugeness of the things you feel for fictional scenarios may, at first, convince you that it's the former, and convince you that you're slowly becoming numb to life. If you work out that it's the latter, and you are not becoming numb to life, then this sounds like a healthy, if extreme, response to media forms. If you're gradually becoming more numb, we need to address the root issues, mental health worries or life/social dissatisfaction or need to escape something pathologically unaddressed, often being the answer.

I often feel different. I often feel like I connect to emotion harder and more viscerally than the people around me. I am a social chameleon, and exceptionally good at being whatever a social situation wants me to be. @mrhaitch understands what lies underneath, and gets to experience me as I am at base. I often spend so much time being another version of myself, that I forget who I am, and have to come back to myself.

I tend to suppress or limit my involvement, because I like taking the overview, allowing my feelings and opinions to develop as new information comes to light. I am self-possessed over my own opinions and their ability to grow and change, and as such, don't feel pressurised to feel a certain way. I don't feel the need to engage in fandom rhetoric, and actually, I strongly dislike engaging with it; this is as close as I'll get. Being a 'creator' suits me well. I almost never discuss my thoughts and feelings about series' etc aloud, in comments or real life. I'd discuss it, if prompted, but I certainly don't seek it out.

There is also the core part of me that needs/wants to maintain a certain image in real life, and as such, most people don't know that I'm even into anime. The barest couple of people, I can count on one hand, know that I even write. I'm fine with this; I am perfectly happy to conceal parts of myself, that belong to me alone, with my long-suffering husband as a privileged/punished bystander.

I think extreme emotional connection to media forms can show good empathy. I would overall be more concerned about someone who does not show deep emotional responses to media forms that are designed to make them feel this way. I believe that progressive societal numbing to emotion is routinely seen in daily life, and begins in childhood; how many of us recall being told that our emotional reactions are abnormal, irregular, over the top or embarrassing? We learn to suppress, early on. This leaks out, and we suppress more and more as we grow, becoming number and number to the struggles of those around us. Progressive degradation of empathy is real, and we can and should resist.

r.e. my writing, and me, though I viscerally hate to discuss my personality like this: I can acknowledge two traits I have; I am eloquent with a broad vocabulary, and I am very good at making other people feel how I want them to feel. This counts for real life and writing. This is good, and bad, and I try very hard not to be the Evil™️ version of myself. I write with an aim, and I like critical hits. I'm a perfectionist and I always have been. I'm sorry to hurt you in this way. I usually use this socially (not consciously, it's just how I am) or at work, where I advocate for women and make sure they feel loved and safe. I'm quite good at it. Channelling this into creating stories for other people to enjoy has been an ability I didn't know I had until very recently.

I agree that @rahuratna is a very rare talent. Arguably, I find her to be an exceptionally uncommon author. She would do very, very well to write a novel, if she ever felt it. Her writing skill is phenomenal. I only wish I had more time to read all of her work; I sadly find myself having to choose how to spend the very limited social time I have, and I often choose writing, as it relaxes me more than reading. But please know, rahuratna, I'm coming for you. Also know, @bunny584 is one of the rare ones, I'm my humble opinion.

Perhaps that's why you like my writing? Just thoughts.

Thanks for the amazing Inbox. I don't often get the time to do massive responses but I absolutely try my hardest.

Good talk!

Love, always,

-- Haitch xxx

[tabithatwo]

fics and posts of note!

if yellowjackets enthusiast is my second job (it is) then, within that, fic writing is my day job and tumblr rambling is my moonlighting, so here's easy access to my fics and to my more involved posts!

current status: okay SO i absolutely feel the need to try and finish abmb before s3 airs. so i am going to try and whip out the last (3? 4?) chapters of that before updating my other WIPs. that said i never actually know what i'm going to do until it's happening so who knows! i'm just glad my six month abmb hiatus has officially been ended with that last update <3 and my personal life has chilled some, so i am writing again <3 —9/21

likely order of updates: abmb, fences, resurrection —9/21

works in progress

x always be my baby (~350k)

All the living yellowjackets are forced together when someone decides to unearth their past. Tensions rise, past relationships are revealed, and new ones are forged in a reunion that no one asked for (except maybe Misty).

explicit / post-s1 canon-divergence / primarily adult timeline

x fences need mending (~38k)

Every decision that Jackie and Shauna had ever made—together and separately, in anger and in love, for themselves and for each other—had led them to this exact moment, a dreary October morning in the intensive care unit of NewYork-Presbyterian.

explicit / no crash au / dual timeline

x we practice resurrection every night (~22k)

A series of moments based pre, during, and post 1996 canon, centered around Jackie and Shauna, accounting for the huge, rippling impact of one small change: the Holmdel bust goes differently. Shauna ends up walking home with Jackie instead of Jeff.

explicit / jackie lives au / slice of life

complete (multichap)

x she shines me up like gold (~12k)

Jackie convinces Shauna to wear something a little different than her usual to Van and Taissa's Halloween party.

explicit / no crash au / mid-twenties

x you're just a bee charmer (~53k)

When Jeff dumps Jackie right before winter break, Shauna decides she's willing to do pretty much anything to keep them broken up. Jackie just wants to feel wanted, so what harm can a few messages from a new account really do?

explicit / no crash au / shifted ten years (they graduate in 06, rather than 96)

x just unzip me (~32k)

Shauna is the maid of honor in the Taylor-Sadecki wedding, but on the big day both the bride and the groom have a confession to make.

explicit / no crash au / set in 2004-2006

series

x prolong the night

explicit / jackie lives au / especially twisted

x (pt 1) no one knows what dawn will come (~12k)

Shauna helps warm Jackie up and, months later, Jackie helps Shauna survive labor.

x (pt 2): drunk from so many roses, redder than wine (~8k)

Jackie can't leave Shauna alone when the butchering duties get darker. Everyone has their role, and hers is just how she likes it—inextricably tied to Shauna.

oneshots

x honey come over, the party's gone slower (~4k)

Nat’s dead, but that doesn’t mean it’s all over. She laid Jackie to her final rest, and now Jackie’s the one to welcome her to this strange new home.

teen / post s2 finale / nat pov

x trying to keep you alive (~5k)

A night of Shauna feeling especially self-destructive (cruising for women, talking to Jackie's ghost, and burning bridges with the only two people in her corner).

explicit / canon-compliant / post return / ghost!jackie or hallucination!jackie depending on how you read it

x no take backs (~3k)

Laura Lee is a few steps ahead of Jackie in this whole navigating being a ghost thing, and Shauna is falling apart quicker than Jackie can pick up the pieces.

mature / canon-compliant / set during 2x01 / ghost!jackie pov

posts of note

x jackie taylor is a lesbian frame by frame pt. 1

x jackie taylor is a lesbian frame by frame pt. 2

x tai and shauna / call your mom

x shauna and psychosis

x the "dreams" (travis' dialogue on near death experiences in 2x02)

x the "dreams" (eating and drinking in other realms motif)

x jackieshauna / lottielee

x mirrors and reflections in yj (the pilot)

x pit girl scenes and their cuts away from natalie

x lesbian breakup so bad (yj edition)

x sight and power and leadership (lottie, tai, nat, jackie ruminations)

x jackieshauna / our wives under the sea

x yj and jennifer's body

x nat/jackie ruminations

[felice-jaganshi]

Strawberry Scented Love

Radiodust Strawberry Pimp AU

Chapter 4 - Show time!

A week later, everyone had gathered not in the studio, but a new address. There was a grand stage in the center, a bar at the back, and tables with chairs set all around. Alastor was standing center stage in his outfit, a pole behind him. The whole vibe was warm and cozy. “Welcome everyone! Now I know you all are wondering why we're gathered here rather than the studio. This is because the company is moving from silly picture box shows, to theater! The far superior medium.”

 

This caused confusion in the crowd, people questioning what the hell he meant.

“Uh, sir?” One man raised a hand, “What if some of us don't ‘perform’ well for crowds?” 

Another chimed in next to him, “Wait, are we just doing a strip club now?!”

“Well my fine fellows, we're going to be doing a slightly different kind of performance than what you're used to. What we'll be doing here is called Burlesque. You could compare it to one of those ‘strip clubs’, but it's far classier than that! Burlesque is more about the dance itself than the stripping. It's an art form.”

The crowd looked unconvinced, causing Alastor to roll his eyes. “I anticipated that a demonstration may be necessary to convince you all.” He then walked off the stage and dimmed the lights. Music began to play and Angel took the stage with a handful of other performers, he was dressed like a “slutty ringleader”. A spotlight hit him and the music began.

 

“There's only two types of people in the world, one's who entertain and ones who observe.”

Two dancers mirrored each other in puppet-like movements, while Angel pretended to pull on strings to make them “move”.

“I'm like a ringleader, I call the shots!” He quickly climbed the pole in the center of the stage, hanging upside down by his ankles and spinning slowly. “I'm like a firecracker, I make it hot.”

Everyone had seen Angel dance before, but the level of enthusiasm and joy in this performance made it a whole new experience! It was like back when he was a fresh new performer on the scene, no one could take their eyes off him, even as the other dancers played their parts supporting him.

 

He made his way to the edge of the stage for the second verse.

“There's only two types of guys out there, one's that can handle me~” he blew a kiss to the back of the room where Husk was setting up the bar and flipped Angel off, “and one's who are scared~.” He grinned and quickly made his way over to a couple of other dancers dressed in sexy pirate outfits, the spotlight following his moves. “So I hope that you came prepared. I run a tight ship‐” one of them cracked a whip, “So beware. Yeah, I'm the ringleader, I call the shots!” He returned to the center of the stage with a confident stride. “I am a firecracker, I make it hot!” He ripped open the buttons on his vest.

 

“I can feel the adrenaline through my veins, spotlight on me and I'm ready to play!” He got on his hands and knees, posing like a stalking tiger, full of raw energy and power. 

“I'm like a performer, the dance floor is my stage.” He quickly flipped onto his back, kicking his feet in the air. 

“Better be ready, hope that you feel the same~.” He did vertical splits while on the floor, setting his foot on the ground over his head as he showed off his flexibility getting up backwards off just one foot!

He ran through the chorus one more time with all the other dancers as his puppets, before ending with them dropping like sleeping dolls as the lights shut off abruptly at the end of the song.

The lights went back up, and Alastor clapped as he slowly came back on stage, “Beautiful. I knew you'd do something amazing with my gift, Beloved.” He looked exceedingly proud as he stood next to Angel, who regained his breath and smiled at him.

“I should be thanking you, you wrote the most perfect opening number!”

“Well, it certainly helps that I had the perfect muse to work with.” Alastor's tone was teasing. He then quickly switched to addressing the crowd, leaving Angel stunned.

“The plan is to put on a show where each of you can have a performance that represents you, specifically your preferences. This way, you can attract clients more in line with what you actually desire. Now, as I promised, business hours will be humane and malleable. Weekends will be for shows, and there will be 40 paid practice hours available during the week, if you need more than that, that's your personal time, I'm not offering overtime. Time with clients is on your own time as well, and thus you get to keep every penny of that money.”

This got quite the rise out of the crowd, this would increase everyone's pay more than double, since Valentino would usually take at least 60% of everyone's hourly rate. “Now there is one small addendum to that…”

Everyone held their breath, waiting for the shoe to drop.

“If a deal with a client goes bad, and you need my protection, I will ask for 30% of the money they promised you as a fee. That sounds fair, yes?”

 

There was stunned silence… Eventually, Anna spoke up. “Um, sir, is that really all you want from us? You don't… want us to perform ‘private shows’ for you?” She looked up at him, a fragile hope shining in her eyes.

“No darling, I don't want private shows from any of you. Though if you wish me to critique your technique during practice, I'd be willing to offer my advice.”

 

The cat demon from the other day raised his hand, “Uh, sir? Several of us noticed a pattern in the changes you made to our contracts actually. And we were curious about it.”

“Well, you know what they say about curiosity and cats, don't you my dear?” Alastor's eyes started to glow and turn to dials, a warning sign to stop asking questions. The cat demon's ears laid flat as he nervously swallowed around the lump in his throat.

“Y-yes sir.”

 

Husker chuckled in the back of the room, just glad it wasn't him for a change. He then spoke up, “Bar's set up, Boss! I'm heading back to the hotel.”

“Wonderful Husker! I'll expect you back here on opening night to make sure it goes smoothly.”

Husk grumbled, “Don't you have any other bartenders?! Am I really your only one?!” 

Alastor chuckled without answering him, “Now my little stars in the making, I expect you all to think hard on your debut performances. You will bring your ideas to Angel for approval. Once approved, you will go to Velvette to have outfits made to match the general theme and your performance. Our first show shall be circus themed, and what you witnessed will be your opening number. Something to whet everyone's appetites.” 

Everyone started chatting excitedly amongst themselves now that they knew what the plan was, this was going to be fun!

 

Alastor hummed in satisfaction, “Well, now that you're all on board, it's time for the less fun part. I have some new ground rules I expect everyone to follow. Hm, Beloved, you tell them. I enjoy listening to you talk.” He leaned forward on his cane, feigning a flirty air. In truth, he just wanted to re-emphasis to everyone that Angel held a lot of power here. Well, at least that's how he'd explain it to Angel later if he questioned it.

 

Angel smiled, playing along with a sway to his hips as we walked up to Al, “Anything for you~, Big Boss.” He winked, then turned to address the crowd, “Alright, new rule number one: no more bullying unless it's consensual. No more teasing for being fat, or skinny, or small, or anything. Because honestly, we're all freaks of one kind or another. The rest of hell already tries to make us feel like shit for being ourselves anyway, so why tear eachother down too? Am I making myself clear?” 

Alastor summoned a chair and sat down, genuinely enjoying listening to Angel in his element.

“Rule number two is pretty ironic, but no sexual harassment. Once again, we all get enough of that on the streets. Just because our job is sex, doesn't mean we gotta make eachother uncomfortable about it. I want this place to feel safe for everyone.”

Alastor joined in, “I agree. Any sexual conduct must be consensual from both sides, or I will be very cross with the offender. This is a Rule, not a Suggestion. ”

 

Angel heard the venom in Alastor's tone and decided to make a bit of a power play of his own. He turned and sat sideways in Alastor's lap, looking out at the crowd and acting like this was a normal thing he did to calm Alastor. He couldn't help but notice, Alastor smelled like strawberries today...

Alastor froze completely, brain shutting down as he tried to act calm and not panic from the unexpected touch! 

“On ta rule number three!” Angel smiled, and got things back on track while Alastor tried to maintain his sanity. “Another ironic one, but keep the hard drug and alcohol use to a minimum on show days!”

And that did get some backlash as everyone started arguing with Angel. One was even brave enough to yell at him.

“You ain't takin’ my drugs! I'll fuck y‐ ak!” He suddenly had a tentacle wrapped around his neck tightly, and static filled the air.

“Fourth rule!” Alastor spoke calmly, but firmly, grinning wide. “Any who harm my Beloved will have their soul ripped apart immediately. Understood? His word above yours in all cases.” 

Angel frowned and took Alastor's face in his hands, hiding him from the view of the others.

“Al, hey, fuckin calm down.” He kept his voice as quiet as possible, “This isn't what we planned. Let him go.”

Alastor removed Angel's hands from his face, holding them with his own in a firm grip. The static lessened till it disappeared completely. The look he gave Angel was… strange, he didn't understand it. Alastor closed his eyes, and the tentacle left the man's neck, sinking back into the floor and disappearing.

Patience… Alastor, patience. Don't scare him off…

He let go of Angel's hands and opened them again, “Please get off my lap. Now, before I lose my ability to be patient.”

Angel got up, and Alastor stood with him, walking to the front of the crowd.

“While I wish to show you all kindness, I will not suffer disrespect from anyone. Which is why I demand the drug use be kept to a minimum. You represent me now, which means I demand perfection and decorum from all of you. If you drag mud on my name you will regret it.” He sighed, and softened his stance, “But, if you all can behave as good little pets, I will show you kindness and affection.” 

 

The mood had shifted, and everyone wasn't sure how to feel now. Alastor had shown he wasn't afraid to lash out and hurt them, reminding everyone that he was still a demon, and still an Overlord. Their Overlord…

[epersonae]

I'd love to hear a director's commentary on "I have begun to long for you!" I recently read it (finally!) and really enjoyed it, and I'd love to hear how you made the choices you did for that fic! "What if the mutiny against Izzy had succeeded" can already go in so many different directions, and I especially wonder if you'd change anything about how you handled it now that more time has passed since the s1 finale first aired and we've all had so long to discuss and ruminate.

You know, I posted I have begun to long for you two years ago yesterday. And I'm reading through it, and wow.

I think probably the most important thing to know about that fic is that it had been not quite nine months since my spouse died. Everything about it is rooted so intensely in that early grief experience, especially thinking back to the first week or so, and not really being able to eat, not being able to sleep more than an couple of hours at a time, and feeling just unmoored from the world.

This line? This came from a place right at the core of my being:

He wouldn’t look for happiness again, but maybe he could find quiet for a little while.

And also I had been watching the show over and over and over from the first time I watched it in early April 2022 (there is a horrifying alternate reality in which I watched it on my phone on the plane home from visiting Ryn's hometown, which might have actually killed me), and I'd gotten into fandom here, and I was reading just insane amounts of fic. This was the spring and summer where basically all I did was work, watch the show, and read fic.

I would say I still stand by it, even after all the back and forth and discourse and everything since then. There is I think a single sentence that could be interpreted as Ed not knowing how to read, versus being in such distress that he can't focus on reading, and I'd be tempted to fiddle with that a bit. Otherwise, I feel like I nailed something.

Also it's always struck me as very funny that it does feel entirely likely that Stede was in Bridgetown for like 3 or 4 days, max? FWIW, one of the inspirations was a post which is probably lost to time about the mutiny succeeding and then the crew going off and becoming a sailing theater troupe, which may have been my original intention until a rewatch where I was like HEY WAIT IF HE'D HUNG OUT FOR TWO MORE DAYS STEDE WOULD HAVE SHOWN UP.

Last thought: so much of what I did with the crew, while rooted in their canon depictions, is also drawn from the care and love I got from the people in my life right after Ryn died. (special shout out to @faintvox, @ensrensage, and @emi--rose for being the most present of all) If I am still here, it is in large part because of them.

[fanfic director's cut]

[girlwiththepapatattoo]

The Unlikely Similarities Between Kittens and Vampires, Chapter 9

Warnings: Frank talk of sex, oral sex (f receiving), vaginal fingering

Summary: Astarion and Sable take a plunge.

Notes: EYYYYY *finger guns* They finally decided the time was right! Hope you all enjoy! <3

Read on Ao3 here!

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

He’s right there. Behind her. 

Naked.

Which is, of course, how one should be while bathing. But the amount of experience that Sable’s had being around naked men has been…well, nothing. 

And with her burgeoning feelings, and the pull that she feels towards this man, feelings that admittedly go against her self-preservation considering what he is…

…gods, she wants to look.

She wants to see what lies hidden under those stylish clothes of his, wants to see his creamy, nearly-flawless skin revealed. 

Instead, she grits her teeth and finishes her second hair wash. 

“You’re awfully quiet over there, kitten,” Astarion all but purrs, scrubbing at his own hair. “I’d ask ‘cat got your tongue’, but puns are a devil’s work.” 

“I-I’m always quiet,” she mumbles as she goes to refill her bucket, keeping her eyes firmly on the stone floor. She’d close them if she didn’t think she’d fall and crack her head open. 

“Well, yes, but this quiet’s got a different sort of air about it,” he replies, flapping a hand in her direction even though she can’t see it. 

“That so?” she asks, settling back down into a kneeling position. She runs a hand through her hair, making sure all the gore is out, before lathering up her washcloth. 

“Indeed. Usually your quiets are either the deep in thought kind, or the ‘I’m shy and trying not to be dragged into conversation’ kind. But this one…” He hums softly; she wants to press her ear to his chest to feel it. “It’s…poised. Like you’re about to pounce.” His voice lowers, becoming almost beckoning.

She feels her face flushing darker, her mouth suddenly dry. “N-Not going to do any pouncing today, s-sorry.” 

“Oh? Are you sure?” He chuckles. “Because you could, if you wanted. This time I won’t have an attack like I did the other night, I promise.” 

Her brow furrows, and that almost makes her turn around to look at him. “That…that doesn’t…Astarion, I’m glad that I have your permission, I really am. It’s…it’s good to know that I…could. I’m just…”

“Nervous. I understand, kitten. Perhaps if you talk about what you’re nervous about, I could set that pretty little mind of yours at ease,” he offers, though his voice has lost none of the heat, none of the tease. 

She swallows hard. “W-Well…first, I heard that it…hurts, the first time.” 

“That, my sweet, is mostly a myth,” he says, and he huffs. “Of course it will hurt if your partner has no idea what they’re doing, or doesn’t care about your comfort. But if your first time is with me, I can guarantee that it won’t hurt a bit.” 

She blinks. “Really?” 

“Really. As long as you’re properly warmed up, your body ready, it won’t hurt.” He shrugs. “Besides, with all your physical activity, your maidenhead has probably broken long ago on its own.” 

Her jaws drops open. “It did what?” she gasps. 

“Did you not know it could?” He sighs. “Honestly, the world would be better if people took the time to understand their bodies more. Physical activities–running, riding horses, climbing something–can make the hymen tear. It doesn’t have to happen in sex.” He huffs. “I figured that you’d know something like that.” 

“I know about animals, Astarion! Not us two-leggers.” She drags a hand down her face. “Okay. Okay, so it doesn’t have to hurt, that’s…that’s good. But…” She bites her lower lip. “How do I stop being afraid?” 

“What are you afraid of?” His voice isn’t accusatory, only gently curious. 

“...I’m afraid that you won’t actually like what you see,” she admits quietly. “I’ve never really…been fond of how I look. I’m too…”

“I’m going to stop you right there, Sable,” he says firmly, and though he’s still not looking at her (not until he has her permission), his voice is no-nonsense. “It doesn’t matter what you look like, I’d still desire you. Because you’re you. And you’re beautiful.” 

“But-”

“No buts, unless you want yours smacked.” 

“What?!” she squeaks, turning red again, and he laughs. 

“Darling, you are too cute. Come now, I won’t let you entertain the idea of you being anything but gorgeous. Anything else?” 

“...what about…after?” she asks, swallowing hard. “I don’t want to just…have sex and then go back to my tent alone.” 

“If you need cuddle-time after, I’m happy to give you that,” he says softly. 

“...but is that what you want?” 

He’s quiet for a long moment. “...I’ll be frank, kitten, I don’t know what I want. I’ve spent two hundred years not being able to make my own choices.” He rubs the back of his neck. “I do know that…I want you. That much is for certain. And honestly…actually being able to stay and bask in the afterglow sounds…nice. A little…okay, it feels like it would be a very…vulnerable sort of thing, but I’d like to try it anyway. I want to try it.” 

She's quiet for a moment. When she speaks again, she sounds almost hesitant. “Will you promise me something?” 

“Hm, depends on the something.” 

“If you start to get uncomfortable with any part of this, I want you to tell me. We can stop, or talk it out, or whatever. Promise?” 

His eyes widen. He hadn’t expected that. The smile that tugs at his lips, and the warmth that blooms in his chest…he couldn’t fight it. “You’re very sweet, Sable. If it’ll put you more at ease, then yes, I promise. But only if you promise the same thing. I want this to be good for you, not something you need to fear.” 

She nearly melts. “I promise. Thank you, Astarion.” 

“My pleasure.” 

It’s quiet again as they finish washing and rinse off. Sable is in the water first, sighing luxuriously as she leans against the stone wall. The water is the perfect temperature, just hot enough to be soothing on sore muscles. A few moments later, the water shifts beside her as Astarion gets in. 

“Oh, that’s lovely,” he groans. 

He’s close enough to her to feel intimate, but not touching her. He’s careful like that, testing her boundaries without stepping over them. And she finds herself…wishing he was closer. And so she, boldly for her, shifts just a little more to her right. He blinks down at her in surprise. Everything below her middle chest is underwater, so there’s nothing too scandalous to see right now. But even so, she’s still flushed, her eyes focusing on the water’s surface. 

He smiles faintly, and he lifts an arm out of the water, laying it along the rock at her back. He’s still not touching her, but it is an invitation, open for her to take or reject at her leisure. But his eyes don’t leave her face as she gently nibbles her lower lip. Indecision flits back and forth over her expression, before she gathers her courage and shifts over again. Her thigh presses along his, and her head comes to rest on his shoulder. 

He can’t help his smile widening. His arm curls in, wrapping around her shoulders, his hand cupping her bicep, his thumb gently stroking her skin. She lets out a shuddering breath at the touch and curls into him just a little more. “Gods, you’re beautiful,” he whispers. 

Her eyes open in surprise, and she looks up at him, her expression unguarded and bare. 

He can’t help himself. 

His head dips, his lips brush against hers ever so faintly. The soft little gasp she makes has him groaning softly, and he does it again, and again, until she’s all but clutching onto him as he licks into her mouth. He shifts to face her, his left hand stroking her jaw as they kiss almost desperately, his right cupping gently around her waist. She jumps just a little under his touch, but she leans into it instead of pulling away, and he makes a little sound of approval into her mouth and gives her a gentle squeeze. 

She’s drowning in heat, and it’s not all from the water. She feels feverish, her body ultra-sensitive, aching for more of his touch. Her hands slide up and into his wet hair, holding him to her as he devours her mouth. 

He suddenly surges against her, picking her up and setting her down on the ledge. He stands between her legs, pressing himself against her, his hands rubbing up and down her back. She whimpers into his mouth, exhilaration and anticipation making her wrap her legs around his waist. 

He breaks the kiss with a wicked little smile. “Not quite yet, kitten,” he purrs, his voice low and husky. “I’ve got one or two things to show you first.” 

She swallows hard. “Oh? Like what?” 

He gives her a bit of an admonishing look. “Patience, my sweet.” His lips brush up her jaw, and he can feel the shudder along her spine under his fingertips. “Just let yourself feel…” he whispers into her ear. “Feel what I’m going to do to you…” 

The sound that exits her mouth when he playfully nips her earlobe…she doesn’t recognize it as her own voice. He hums in delight as he drags his lips down the column of her throat, pausing to tongue at the fading bite marks for just a moment. 

“A-Astarion,” she gasps, clutching onto his shoulders. 

“I know,” he murmurs, giving her hips a squeeze. They twitch toward him, and he smiles against her skin. “Lean back on your hands for me, gorgeous.” 

Shakily, she does so, bracing her hands on the stone floor. The position makes her chest jut out, the gentle swells of her breasts drawing his darkened eyes. His fingers caress over her shoulders, then up her waist, and her breath hitches as his palms finally cup under them. He makes a sound in the back of his throat and gives them a gentle squeeze. 

“Ah~!” Her little cry goes straight to his cock, and she can feel it twitch against her hip. She swallows thickly, and looks down, seeing the hard length pressing into her skin. She inhales sharply, watching as he twitches again. 

“Easy, kitten,” he says softly, but he doesn’t remove his hands. “It’s all right. Just a natural reaction to your beauty, to hearing those little sounds of yours. I’m not going to do anything with it until you’re more than ready.” 

“C-Could I…could I touch it? I-I mean, you?” she whispers, and is immediately embarrassed that she just asked that out loud. 

“Oh, Sable, you are too cute,” he says with a chuckle. “Not for too long, but yes, you may.” 

“Oh, I…if you don’t want me to–” 

“That’s not it at all,” he assures her gently. “I very much want you to touch me.” He leans forward, purring into her ear, “I want you to stroke me until I spend myself on your skin.” She gasps, twitching at what his words do to her insides. “But not tonight,” he says, pulling back. “Tonight is all about you, and your pleasure. So yes, feel me, but just for a moment. As I said, I have things to show you.” 

“A-All right.” She moves one hand down from his shoulder, stroking gently over his chest, his abs. As a high elf, Astarion has no body hair, and so it’s smooth, flawless skin to the base of his cock. She gasps as her hand wraps gently around him, feeling the hard muscle under velvety flesh. He groans at her touch, as she gives him a slow stroke upwards, and he catches her wrist and pulls her hand off. He brings it to his mouth and kisses at her fingertips. 

“Your touch is divine,” he rasps, eyes half-lidded and dark. “It tries even my patience. Gods, I want you…but not yet. Not yet…” He presses her hand back to the stone, then lowers his head and brushes his lips over the curve of her left breast. She hisses, her back arching into his touch as he kisses a slow, burning path across to her nipple. 

“Oh, fuck,” she cries, the word blurted without her permission as his lips seal around the hard bud. His eyes flick to hers, filled with a smug humor at her reaction, and he suckles gently. She shudders and gasps out his name, her hands clutching his head to her chest, and she can feel sweat breaking out on her skin. She throbs between her legs, and when his tongue flickers against her nipple, she nearly sobs. 

He gives similar treatment to her other breast, before releasing her flesh with a rather obscene pop. “You are…so reactive,” he growls, nipping at her jaw. “So beautiful…and I’m going to devour you the way you deserve.” 

He presses a hand to her chest and gently pushes her down, so that she’s laying flat on her back on the stone. The cold floor under her heated skin makes her break out into shivers, but she barely notices as he spreads her legs, propping one up on his shoulder. 

“Mmm…delicious” he sighs, eyes fixed between her thighs. “You look good enough to eat, my kitten.” 

She watches as he raises a hand and gently strokes his fingers through the soft, curled hair on her mound. She feels like her heart is going to pound right out of her chest, and she can’t look away from the expression on his face, a combination of fondness and lust. His eyes flick to hers, and his lips curl in a smirk so sinful, she wonders for a moment if he’s an incubus instead of a vampire. 

Then he runs a single finger up the seam of her, and all her breath leaves her in a shout. Electricity crackles through her nerves, and the leg not propped up kicks out. 

“Oh, so sensitive.” If his voice got any smokier, she’d look for a fire down his throat. But maybe when she could breathe again. Which is definitely not now, as his fingers rub up and down her labia, every so often parting her lips wide. “Look at you, Sable…already so wet for me…” 

He kneels, pressing a line of kisses and nips down the inside of her thigh, sucking a bruise into where her leg connects to her torso. He caresses his cheek over her curls, then blows a cool breath over her folds, and she whimpers and bucks her hips. He clicks his tongue in a teasing, admonishing way. “Don’t rush me, my sweet. I want to savor you…” 

His hands curve around her thighs, his cool skin adding to her shivers. He doesn’t drop eye contact as he leans down, running the flat of his tongue up her folds and giving a swirl around her clit. 

Her jaw drops open, and her back arches off the stone floor without her consciously deciding to. He moans at her taste, his eyes fluttering shut now as he rolls his tongue over the engorged nub. Her leg flexes as it feels like all the muscles from her abs to her toes contract at once, and he chuckles as he feels the squeeze on his shoulder. 

So caught up in the divinity that is Astarion’s tongue, she doesn’t feel when his arm shifts. But she definitely feels when one finger, warmed by her own body heat, slides deep into her tight channel. “Ohshit!” The words burst out at once at the feel of something inside her. 

Astarion can’t help the fond chuckle that rises from his chest, and pulls away only long enough to tease her. “I love the mouth on you when I’m making you lose your mind.” 

“D-Don’t stop, please,” she begs. 

His eyes close, as if savoring her words, her desperation. “Oh, Sable…you’re gorgeous when you beg. How could I say no?” 

He lowers his head again, his tongue rolling once more against her clit, his finger gently pumping in and out, curling and hitting a spot inside her that makes her see stars. She whimpers brokenly, her hips writhing under his careful ministrations. It’s so much, almost too much, but it feels so fucking good. 

And knowing that it’s Astarion that’s making her feel this way…the person that she's even half-way trusted in…well, she’s not even sure how long. 

Not that she has much capacity for introspection right now. She feels something new, something building deep in her core. A pressure, growing and pushing against her nerves, making the bottom drop out of her stomach. “A-Astarion? I…oh, gods, there’s…there’s…!” 

“Yes, yes, my sweet, that’s it. Come for me, come on my mouth,” he growls into her cunt, and on his next thrust with his finger he slips another in and sucks hard on her clit. 

She shrieks his name as she explodes. Lightning and fire scour her nerves, and she’s so lost in the overwhelming pleasure that she doesn’t even feel her own body writhing and bucking under him. He moans loudly, keeping her flying as long as he can, wanting to prolong her pleasure until she’s going mad with it. His fingers thrust hard and fast into her channel, hitting a spot inside her that makes her see stars. 

When she finally comes down it’s slow, every single gentle movement of her lover making a new spark of pleasure burst through her veins. She’s boneless against the cool stone, gasping for breath and trembling, her fingers and toes twitching in the beautiful, perfect aftermath. His mouth leaves her, only to press gentle, wet kisses over her thigh. 

“Sable,” he purrs, nuzzling gently at her flesh. “Oh, Sable…the way you look when you come…you could put the sun to shame.” 

Normally, she’d think it was just one of his lines, something to flatter. But the awe in his voice doesn’t sound fake, or forced in any way. She peels her eyes open, and the sight of his beautiful face pressed gently to her thigh, cheeks and chin and lips covered in her slick…”You’re perfect,” she whispers to him, and offers him a sweat-soaked smile. 

His eyes widen a little bit at her words. She expects some sort of quip back, something like, ‘I know, but thank you for saying it, darling.’ But it doesn’t happen. Instead, he gently gathers her into his arms and pulls her back into the warm water, cradling her into his chest. His lips brush against her forehead in a wet kiss, and she melts fully against him, her eyes fluttering shut, enveloped in him. 

This moment, this singular moment, has been the most perfect thing she’s ever experienced. She tries to tell him that, but sleep is pulling at her, tugging her relaxed body into the dark, and she can’t fight it. She falls asleep in his arms. 

Astaron feels her go slack, and he can’t help a soft huff of laughter. Well, even if he won’t get to finish tonight…that was more than worth it.

/////////////////////////

Halsin watches Astarion emerge from the path down to the spring, Sable’s sleeping form cradled in his arms. The vampire’s eyes meet the druid’s, and the taller man raises an eyebrow. The smug, knowing smirk on Astarion’s perfect lips says all that needs saying, and Halsin grins faintly, before giving a shrug as if to say, “I don’t know what you mean.” 

Bullshit, Astarion’s eyes say plainly, but he can’t help the grin on his lips as he carries Sable off to his tent. He’s looking forward to waking up with her in his arms again.

[basmathgirl]

Hello again Basmathgirl !

No socks related question-anon here. Thanks for replying so quickly.

Sorry for this long message, but I kinda have the urge to explain my “Doctor Who-situation” first, especially because I fear I have a controversial opinion on a well liked character. But I’m very new to the DW fandom, hence I can’t assess how common my opinion is. So you see, it is not just fanfiction recommendations I’m after.

I started watching the series about two months ago and I just finished “Midnight”. Even before I started the show, I already knew a few DW facts just from being on the internet, but other story elements took me completely by surprise.

Due to the large amount of DW content, I was rather intimidated at first. So I watched a DW guide over on YT, which recommended where to start with the show. In that guide it was explicitly stated that the Doctor has many different companions during the course of the series, but the relationships will only ever be platonic. Consequently I was a bit surprised that there was quite a lot of romantic tension/ undertones throughout the series anyway.

And then there is Donna Noble. 😍 I loved Donna from the moment she appeared, even though I knew beforehand she will only be part of the series for a short time, and that her season four ending won’t be very happy (At least I think that’s what will happen. Like I said, I’m not there yet). I just love the friendship dynamic between the Doctor & Donna. It was a breath of fresh air after Rose and Martha’s frequent yearning for the Doctor.

Admittedly, knowing that there won’t be any romantic developments between Donna & the Doctor, didn’t keep me away from reading Donna/ Doctor fanfics anyway.

...

So here comes my probably controversial opinion into play, which is related to my request for ff recommendations. (I didn’t search through your blog btw, so I don’t know what your opinion is on my upcoming jabbering. Sorry in advance.)😓

Okay, here it is: I really don’t like the character River Song. I loved the concept of the library planet, the Vashta Nerada and Donna’s adventure with her made-up family (Catherine's acting was amazing!). However the moment River Song showed up, I disliked the character for some reason, or more specifically the concept of her in canon (Because for me it is a great concept for ffs). 🫣

Anyway I’m not even sure where my irrational aversion against her is coming from. I guess I don’t like the fact that one of the companions is singled out like this, is so extremely special and put on a pedestal. (And I know now there is even more to her backstory...)

Considering my feelings concerning the library episode, I was desperately looking for a fix-it fic for this particular episode or even ffs where Donna is this special person (his future wife, who knows his real name...) for the Doctor. Sadly I wasn’t able to find anything. So I’ve got the impression that there are not many people who shared my experience watching this episode. Am I indeed in the minority in my absurd dislike for River Song?

Did you ever came across Donna/Doctor stories, that include the from me desired aspects? Or perhaps you can think of other blogs that share my silly opinion and are more likely to know any ffs like I described?

Sorry again for the long message and sorry if you’re a fan of River Song. I hope I didn’t upset you or your followers. But please keep in mind I only watched until season 4 episode 11, and maybe I will change my mind in the future. But I really needed to talk to someone who watched Doctor Who, and likes Donna and Donna/ Doctor respectively.

Plus I'm still very surprised that I wasn't able to find fix-it fics for the library episode. I guess nobody thought of it being in need of fixing.🤷‍♀️

Thanks for replying and I hope you have a nice day.

(PS English is not my first language. Therefore I hope my message wasn’t too convoluted.)

Sorry for the delay in replying, kind Anon

The migraines have been biting hard lately so I haven't got very far with my fic quest for you.

What, no socks? Shame. 😂 We could start a whole trend...

You'll be pleased to know that among Doctor/Donna shippers your opinion isn't that unusual. For fanfic writers you have to dodge the whole "luuuuurve" where Rose is concerned, and Moffat inserting his own love interest: River. The ones I'm friends with tend to do this quite well.

I love Alex Kingston as an actor but River as a character was completely wasted, in my opinion. Apart from the whole "keep away, he's Donna's" attitude I'd developed by the time I first watched Silence In The Library, I had high hopes for the return of River. All I was left with was the desire to own those red shoes she wore in S5, otherwise the someone of someone who rose through academic ranks purely to find a specific man/alien goes against everything I have ever been encouraged to feel. But I won't rant about Moffat anymore than that here. *kicks him*

I totally understand you not liking a companion being put on a pedestal, because the system in Doctor Who used to be each one got their own limelight. Then RTD came along... And yes, I did count how many photos of each companion apeared on the official website to back up my claim of biasedness. I can be very pedantic like that.

Also, I ship Ten/Donna so ardently purely out of spite because loads of Rose shippers told me I couldn't and shouldn't ship them. Plus I read some wonderful fics that persuaded me to go from bropt to OTP.

But you were asking for fics. The one I imediately thought of is Best Laid Schemes, where you'll particularly like the epilogue.

An author to generally consider is TkelParis as she has written loads of stories that ditch River (she detests both River and Rose, btw). I would have also recommended our friend tardis-mole, but they are no longer on AO3 and you have to gain permission to 'friend' them on LiveJournal to read anything (let's just say they aren't accepting new friends these days).

Anyway, I suggest giving Altered History, Shakespearean Cupids, and The Belted Doctor a read; and I'll try to find some more for you to consider later.

(There is absolutely nothing wrong with your English, nor do I think your message is convoluted, let alone too convoluted!)

[shark-myths]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you so much for the tag ((and drag)) @carbonbased000! this was very fun and thoughtful to do.

who is writing things right now? i never remember. i will tag a wide and perhaps not terribly relevant range of: @toorational @just-about-nothing @27-royal-teas @leyley09 @alienfuckeronmain @stereostatic @setting-in-a-honeymoon and anyone else so inclined!

++

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

65

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

968,103, but as i’ve said before, i have orphaned a lotta fic as well

3. What fandoms do you write for?

pretty much just Fall Out Boy, but i will occasionally dabble in something random! this includes tony stark femslash (not sorry, will not apologize), cobra kai, and anything about girls or characters who could compellingly be made into girls.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The Difference Between Real Love and the Love on TV

Stranger Danger

Boys Next Door / Assholes

From Russia With Love (this is one of those random sidesteps, a MCU femslash epistolary)

Jet Black Crow

(As an aside, it is so wild to me that older fics have so many more kudos than newer ones—you can really tell that fob went 5 years between albums! imo this is NOT a list of my best fic.)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

for years, I responded to every single one! then at some point i fell behind because of my high standards for trying to put the same thought and effort into my responses as all you lovely people put into the comments, then i became overwhelmed, then i stopped. I AM SO SORRY IF I OWE YOU RETURN COMMENTS, i read them and i treasured them and you are a huge part of the reason i keep writing. love u all!!!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I only write happy endings, man! I stopped writing tragedies a long time ago. My angstiest fics are red and unafraid of living and In Every Universe. the end of Made One Way (Cobra Kai) is ambiguous and potentially brutal, depending on how you take it.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

um, every single other one! I’m a big fan of the gory fairy tale ending of The Boys Time Can’t Capture, and transmuting the hiatus into an act of mutual care and love in Sell Out Girl meant so much to me.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not since my first fandom and god, don’t

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

yes, a bit, could probably write a little less about feelings and a little more about feelings if u know what i mean. I’m super into sex as a person so i almost never write about intense romantic connections without bringing smut into it somehow; they feel really tightly linked for me, and i think i also crave media with HOT and INTIMATE connections between queer people. In terms of kind, i guess i’d have to say it’s largely rushed vanilla emotion-and-orgasm driven scenes. not a very flattering oeuvre i've created here.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

mash-ups are my favorite thing to do! I especially like ripping off movie and fairy tale plots and making them stranger, or else taking a really specific constrained timeline from someone’s life or a piece of media and transforming it somehow. best sandbox ever. my craziest one is probably the coyote ugly / beauty in the beast peterick fic, Wolves Dressed As Wolves. and i love this type of transformation in everything, whether it's the weirdo gender shit i just learned duchamp was doing or katherine addison's destructively beautiful 'sherlock holmes except there're ANGELS' novel or the buenos aires re-imagining version of vivaldi's four seasons by piazzolla, my life and taste keeps taking me into the various ways we fold and refract and remake the same experiences over and over again through different lenses or angles or selves. to quote some author whose identity i forgot years ago, though the quote remains: "there are no new stories." all art is iterative, and the most interesting thing we can do as creators is deviate in new, unexpected ways.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

yeah, a million years ago on deviantart

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes! I have had a few translations and a podfic. I love it when people want to interact with my stories in their own way, all interpretations are welcome.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

one day i hope to be domesticated enough that @carbonbased000 can write with me. I used to co-write by passing the laptop back and forth with my bestie in high school; we wrote self-insert x-men fanfiction based on the comic books in like 2004 and it was an absolute blast; but generally i am considered impossible to work with, by both myself and others.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

i feel completely unqualified to answer this question. i have been driven insane by any number of pairings in my life. when i was younger, i was more interested in internalized homophobia themes in ships, because that's where WE were culturally in the early 2000s and where i was in relationship to myself, and i think each change and growth and greater empowerment and self-possession in my own life is mirrored in what i am interested in. i feel the most drawn in by dynamics between people that are creative and give me a new way to access and explore interesting ideas and themes; i’m a real sucker for shared art products and touring bands as unique and agonizing ways to connect people. there are so many different ways to express that someone is your soulmate and you'll never convince me throwing away all trappings of a traditional life in order to rove the earth and make art with your friends isn't one of them.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

do you not just block out your WIPs from your mind so that you can live in moment-to-moment freedom?? I am a finisher in general, i have a few peterick drafts lurking around in my gdocs but if they remain untouched, it’s generally because there are only a couple thousand words to them and i’m not very excited about the possibilities of the fic. there is a sequel to a meticulously historically accurate pirate fic i wrote long ago called Providence, i got to about 30k and then lost all of my extremely painstaking notes and research in a software update. I’m still very interested in and excited by the idea, but i lost the notes and felt too traumatized to continue with the project genuinely a decade ago, so the idea that i will return and finish the fic seems fairly unlikely. Providence is one of my greatest pieces of writing ever, though, so hope springs eternal, i guess!

16. What are your writing strengths?

lyrical prose and conveying humor via unusual sentence construction. i was recently told i write arguments well and feel tough as a result, like, watch out! you don’t want to fight me!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

i am lazy and easily distractible, i don’t plot in advance, i barely edit because i get really rigid and have trouble seeing any other way to say something than how i’ve already said it, i have an unwillingness to delete and rewrite even when that’s the only way forward (see: my eternally 90% finished age swap peterick au), i use up all my emotional energy elsewhere and then neglect my craft for weeks at a time. 

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

sometimes i’ll use pet names in another language if it makes sense for the character, but i avoid this in general as i’m not fluent in anything other than english. I would, have, and do sound like a duolingo lesson.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

afi bandom, when we used to call it slash, when i thought i had invented it with my friend at summer camp, when i was 13 and sent her kidfic stories i wrote out by hand in pink envelopes.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

genuinely i almost always write things i personally want to read, so i love them all! except the fucking fixed stars of heaven, everyone knows that fic tortured me to within an inch of my sanity. My most personal and personally meaningful fic is Girl Out Boy. i have a tattoo of it on my arm.

[zeravmain]

Tell us about your opinions about talking animal movies.

I will try to be brief (1/435)

Before we get into The Opinions, I need to first establish that when I talk about talking animal movies, I specifically mean live-action talking animal movies in all their unrepentant glory, so no fully animated stuff like Legends of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole (2010), or a semi-animated realism one like Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988) and also stuff like The Muppet's movies. We are also including talking animals who are narrated and don't have CGI applied to their faces to make the illusion of talking, so films like Milo and Otis (1986) do qualify, but something like Zootopia (2016) does not. This is exclusively live-action, though of course there can be special effects or CGI included in these selections, even fake animals so long as they work as animals within the story. The main basis needs to be that it is a live-action movie where there are realistic (per the movies) animals talking.

More than anything, these movies tend to be kids movies (of course) but that in itself does not mean that these movies are always intentionally silly. No doubt that the vast majority of them are comedy, mind you, but there's a difference between genuine well-made comedy (for kids) and something like that scene in 50 First Dates (2004) where we have the walrus throw up on the worker (side note I am not including this movie despite how the animals do seemingly communicate with Adam Sandler, already a talking animal himself in some respects).

Now onto my opinion: There are precisely 4 golden questions you need to consider for whether any given talking animal movie is good (subjective), and more than anything is that these are not hallmarks but rather categories these movies fall under and should embrace to be enjoyable.

1. How much suspense of disbelief is the movie demanding from you?

Ah, the classic concept for media engagement that seems to be lost to time. Generally, whenever you will be approaching a new movie or show or etc, there is always the question of realism and the idea of suspension of disbelief, how much you are willing to shutter away that little voice in your head that makes you chronically unfuckable that goes "um ACTUALLY that scene is totally unrealistic-" and other noteworthy lines. For a movie with talking animals, of course you will be expected to give it some ground, but as well you need to keep in mind that you don't just throw it all out.

More than anything, a bad movie made with passion is better than a good movie made with none. How much does the talking animal movie like the fact that it is a talking animal movie? Do they just cash it in for the paycheck like the latter half films of the Air-Bud Extended Universe, or do they double down and go whole hog on the concepts like with G-Force (2009)? Are the movies simple comedies like Marmaduke (2010) that know they are there just to give you a laugh, or do they try their damnedest to make up a moral like Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2 (2011)?

Once more, a bad movie does not mean a bad movie when talking about this complex topic, so while I do think these questions I posit are subjective, they are recommendations to keep in mind for your viewing experience.

2. Are the talking animals actually animals or just people who happen to also be animals?

Certain scholars might point you to Alvin and The Chipmunks, or Garfield (2004) and Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties (2006) for reference on talking animal movies which deal with this subject matter, perhaps the most famous example being Stuart Little (1999), the mouse who actually goes to school and, within the plot of the movie, gets captured by a hate group (of cats) who plan to kill and eat him.

This question can apply to a fair bit of movies, I think the Dr. Dolittle movies could fall under here as those movies actually hinge on how the titular "Dr. Dolittle" specifically has the power to talk with animals, where in turn this power makes said animals genuine characters and it's not treated as a minor quirk. Another good example could actually be Detective Pikachu (2019), where Ryan Renolds does his best to Renolds it up. Paddington (2014) also qualifies for this question under the same rules as Stuart Little, where Paddington is just a person but also a bear.

A more modern variant could be Show Dogs (2018), where the dogs are not understood by the humans, but do in fact hold places in human society. I also want to give a special shout-out to Kangaroo Jack (2003) here, which does not technically qualify for this list given that Jack never really talks (only makes implicit noises that kangaroos can't actually make), but I believe that in spirit it qualifies here. Same with Furry Vengance (2011), who I believe in spirit qualifies due to the animals having human levels of intelligence and primarily having all the markers of talking animal movies, except for that the animals themselves don't directly talk.

3. Are the talking animals actually talking?

Already this one may seem ridiculous given the subject matter, but I do think that it's important to keep in mind. Whenever there is a talking animal movie, there is always the question of "are these animals just actually speaking english in the real world or is this just the omniscient movie viewer translation for them?' George of the Jungle (1997) actually had a very clever opening sequence where they provided translation for realism, except that the translation was [ANIMAL NOISES] while said animals spoke in clear english.

This does not mean that the movie NEEDS to be realistic, mind you. Technically the Narnia movies count as talking animal movies due to Aslan being, well, a giant talking lion, but those are intentionally a fantasy setting which makes it fit, same with a film like The Golden Compass (2007). To a lesser extent, the live action Scooby-Doo movies also fit as talking animal movies due to the presence of Scooby and [REDACTED] Doo, where Scooby and robotic Rowin Atkinson are just actual talking animals as an accepted fact of life within those universes despite being clear anomalies. Once again, Alvin and the Chipmunks live action movie series fit here. Perhaps a more elegant example could be found in Zookeeper (2011), where the animals do talk, and do directly communicate with Kevin James.

Of course there can be duds, such as Ace & The Christmas Miracle (2021), where it falls into the territory of also being a Christmas Hallmark movie with a recycled plot of saving the horse ranch. Conversely, we have a 'So bad it's good' movie like The Karate Dog (2004), which suffers from inglorious CGI, the dog actually speaking to humans, and all the depth you can expect from a dog performing martial arts in what is actually a buddy cop detective film.

4. How much do they take advantage of the animals talking?

Ah, now this one is the classic kaiju movie dilemma: Is the movie actually about the talking animals, or are they simply a backdrop b-plot for the "main character" humans of the movie who are like. usually planning a wedding or something. They always make these romantic. You may remember the classics such as Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019) or the Transformers movies (Michael Bay version) where they shoehorned in a plot concerning the humans in order to make people care about the movies or provide some narration, irrespective of how these franchises do better without them.

You can look to films like G-Force (2009), which manage to elegantly intermix these plots by having the human and animal characters goals line up, mainly in that they want to prevent a genocide, or how movies like Milo and Otis (1986) are exclusively about the animals in their adventure. From Babe (1995) to Charlotte's Web (2006) to UNDERDOG (2007), there's a wide range as to how well they incorporate these aspects into their movies, whether it actually be about the animals or the animals serve as a backdrop to the humans.

There are a wide range of archetypes and variances to be found in live action talking animal movies, a rather underdeveloped field all things considered, but I do hope that people keep their minds and hearts open to discussion about this and find the movie that's right for them.

[wanderlust-in-my-soul]

My year at a glance and the ranking of the cream of the crop

I consumed 206 media this year according to MDL. Of these, 1 TV show, 60 films/short films and 145 dramas. This includes 72 media that were released this year or whose airing ended this year.

I diligently awarded stars from 1 - 10. At a glance, there were 1 one, 2 twos, 2 threes, 6 fours, 7 fives, 6 sixes, 14 sevens, 13 eights, 10 nines and 11 tens (am I too easy to please or just too nice?).

For the following rating, I simply ignored the fives to sevens and concentrated positively on the eights and higher, and took everything below five into account. The results for the individual countries with more than/equal to five contributions this year are as follows:

Japan

Old Fashion Cupcake

Eien No Kinou

Minato Shouji Coin Laundry

Kabe-Koji-Nekoyashiki-kun Desires to be Recognized

Takara-kun to Amagi-kun

South Korea

Once Again

Semantic Error

Choco Milk Shake

Happy Ending Romance

Oh! My Assistent

Taiwan

DNA says love you

About Youth

My Tooth Your Love

Plus & Minus

Papa & Daddy 2

Thailand

180 Degree Longitude Passes Trough Us

Triage

Bad Buddy

Secret Crush On You

Ghost Host, Ghost House

Before I get to the crème de la crème, here are a few honourable mentions and, of course, the series that one would prefer to forget again.

Honourable Mentions

Apart from the five best, there were of course many other wonderful media that fascinated and captivated me. Others were just a little better.

The Miracle of Teddy Bear

The Eclipse

Not Me

Love Mechanics

Roommates of Poongduck 304

Ocean Likes Me

To My Star 2

KinnPorsche

Remember Me

Those that one would like to forget

5. Even Sun – just boring

4. Fahlanruk – boring and repetitive forced drama with unlikeable characters

3. Coffee Melody – boring with an unlikeable main and painful acting

2. That’s my candy – stupid, confusing story with no likeable characters

1. Check Out – this was pure trash, lame story, whiny characters and zero chemistry

But now! The crème de la crème!

Once Again

No other series this year has taken me away as much as this one. It is everything at the same time, a warm blanket to snuggle up under and the angry person who snatches it away again. It is my comfort show and at the same time the show that has given me the most emotional damage. It's not big and lavishly shot and yet the story is touching and the relationship is so precious. The supporting characters are also well written and serve a purpose. This is like a little treasure and I wish more people would find and cherish it.

2. 180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us

I have written my fingers to the bone analysing and picking apart every little detail of this fantastic series. More than once, the series has left you desperate along with the characters and pulling your hair out in rage. It is intense, grim and insanely insistent. It doesn't wrap you up like a warm blanket but, on the contrary, it pulls our protective hands off our faces so that we look and realise. Realise that not everyone can be saved, that people are different, that trauma leaves traces, that words can be weapons, that life means taking the leap to the other side of the bridge, even if you might fall. An insanely great series that deserves more attention!

3. Old Fashion Cupcake

Oh how glad I am that I found this series. A series about pleasure and about allowing yourself to experience indulgence. It is not only a story of two people who become closer over eating desserts together, but also of a man who learns to enjoy life again, even though he thought he was not allowed to do so because of age, being single and being a man. The series works to soften a certain image of men, always aware of the society in which it operates, and manages to do so in an admirable way. Nozue's story gives courage and makes you happy, at least me.

4. Semantic Error

Okay, who doesn't know the series? The story of the cool design student and the nerdy and cool computer science student became so popular that there were even billboards of it. And rightly so. The story is well thought out, well executed and very well acted. I've seen it several times by now and am happy that I can now watch it without interruptions thanks to the movie. And if you can't get enough of it, the Manhwa is highly recommended!

5. Triage

A series about time travel, desperate love and character development of the finest kind! The series has made a lasting impression on me. It has drama, but is not overdone. It has a story that is comprehensible and exciting. The characters grow with the story and the chemistry is good too. All in all, a little hidden gem that should have had much more attention than it got when it aired (which was also because it was/is hard to grab for international fans).

I am looking forward to 2023 and what the year

Now I'm excited to see what great and not so great series 2023 has in store for us and most of all I'm looking forward to experiencing them with you!

Thank you all for such a great journey this year!

And that is a wrap!

[microcosmicheart]

Wild Flower (an 'indigo' inspired reading)

What about yourself or your experience can these fields teach you to embrace?

Choose a the field (or fields) that you're most attracted to. There a plenty of different way to do this so make it as simple or intricate as you'd like.

Top left is 1. Top right is 2. Bottom left is 3. Bottom right is 4.

(Photos are not mine, credit to their rightful owners.)

Let me know what you think!

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Pile 1

“You're safe with me.”

Pile 1, you are a feeling, and one that I truly treasure. When I placed myself in your field, my curiosity immediately took over.

“Is that a path?”

“Was it a path?”

“Has someone been here before me?”

“Is it a coincidence?”

Not one thought of where exactly I was or how I got there. Not one thought of what could hurt me. You showed me that in a world of danger, there’s still places I (and my inner child) can find peace. With a message that radiates protection, I know I am safe with you. You allow others to exist in a space that I'm not sure I've ever truly been in and I thank you for that. You give others a space in the world to travel safely, freely. You give hope after a long journey of being told that it would all be painful on the way to one's dreams and goals.

Pile 2

“I am however you choose to see me.”

Pile 2, with hues of purple and blue, you stepped up first to be read and now that I'm finished I can see why. When I placed myself in your field, I at first was trying to escape it. The grass was scratching my legs and I questioned why I'd worn shorts knowing where I was headed, but in the next moment I decided to stop, find a clear-enough spot, and squat down to think about the best course of action. At the root of my problem, I found peace and a new and quite possibly more beautiful perspective when I looked at my goal: your field. I’d questioned why I'd come as myself, you showed me why I've made it as far as I have. Thank you.

You are the purpose that shows up as your idea of beauty. You are a healer in the most unique of ways, and it's all your own. You are determination personified. You are itchy and guarded; you are calming and clarifying; you are beautiful enough to seek; and change for.

Pile 3

“A moment in time.”

Pile 3 you need to make room for adventure on your long journey. When I placed myself in your chosen field, yours was the only one that I'd seen myself with other people in. We had pulled the van over to stop and soak in the field that we had no plan on seeing, and the air was filled with joy and wonder. I felt comfortable. I'm pretty sure you were the pile that I was iffy about adding, since with or without it, I'd still be satisfied with the reading. You need to embrace sporadic choices that have no rhyme or reason. No effect on the grand scheme, just something to truly enjoy. I can hear one of my travel partners saying, “We may have been late for hotel check-in, but can you imagine if we hadn't stopped?!” Not everything has to have a point. Sometimes you need to do things for the hell of it.

Pile 4

“A place to let my thoughts run wild.”

Pile 4, you are in need of a rest stop. Before I initially pulled, I couldn't guess what this group had to say, and that's because here, anything can be said. When I imagined myself in this field, I had just found a comfortable place by the tree to sit and rest. I could feel the breeze, and appreciate the beauty of my surroundings. I just needed a break. Here I can vent, laugh, cry, sleep, anything. It’s a place I come to when I'm working hard and don't want to quit, but need a break. A place to take a step back from my path and see all that I’ve created, and understand all that I'm thinking and doing. A place where I don't have to keep up appearances. Close enough to not get lost, but far enough away to not be found.

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Thanks for tuning in <3

[gossipgirloff1]

Sainz, Lando, Albon and Oscar eating McDonald together after Oscar win is so disappointing tbh. I know they are rich men and probably don’t give a fuck about boycott and what’s happening in Palestine but still 😐 //

probably this doesn't fit the topic of this blog, but since anon mentioned this theme i want to add my perspective.

i am ukrainian and i absolutely tired how wars are perceiving now. for most people it’s just “annoying shit” (it’s a real quote from message that i reviewed) that doesn’t need attention. for people its just a joke, they don’t care that in Ukraine, Palestine, Syria and bunch of other countries people are literally dying just because someone from other more powerful country decided that.

most this famous people doesn’t actually care about us. for them it seems enough to post a story on a “first day” with a bunch of hashtags. but there a lot of truly amazing celebrities who really helping one way or another. by constantly sharing info, helping by donating, helping shelters etc. (probably one of not many good thing that kelly doing is sharing info, sometimes lol. but still sharing)

answering on your anon ask, i feel this pain every single time while seeing how you guys fangirling over russia, russian aesthetic, communism and russians, for example irina shayk (she is modeling for russian brands which sponsoring war in Ukraine), daniil kvyat and lots lots of other russians. how you making jokes about us begging for help, for every our move, word being criticised.

lots of people don’t really know how it feels to share the border with russia. the war started in 2014 and i was NINE, past sunday i turned NINETEEN. i would never forget how i was going to the shop at summer’14 at my grandma’s town and saw tanks and military vehicles riding through the streets. you know i probably would never see my grandparents again? because my town is occupied. my mother would probably never see her parents again.

most part of the world i guess know about 24 february 2022. i woke up at 4:50 to get a drink and at 5:08 was first missile strike on out biggest airport. i don’t think that my father would forget me asking him “is that fireworks?”.

you know earlier this july russia purposely striked into biggest child oncology clinic in Ukraine? probably no, but i don’t blame you, seriously.

i hate how people comparing Palestine and Ukraine. like guys what the fuck are you doing? posting photo from Gaza and fucking San Francisco, claiming that its Kyiv. search about Mariupol or Bakhmut. people dying is fucking joke? or how we posting about missile attacks in out cities and some of you running to write that its fake? that we are not suffering like Palestine? my country is actually sending to Palestine humanitarian aid.

i am scared leaving my room at night during air raid alert, because if something happens i would not be able to protect my little sister. you know its so fucking terrifying when you hear missile flying over and you begging that it wouldn’t be your home which be destroyed.

i am tired of people comparing, hating, ignoring, pretending wars aren’t real. we need stuck together, not tear each other apart.

please be kind to each other.

ps from me: sorry for this long ask, i think i needed to put my thoughts into something. when i wrote “you” i am not directly talking to anon or you, owner of this blog, just general appeal. i am not trying to be mean, sorry if you feel so.

ps 2 from me: i really like your blog!!! i am a big gossiper so your account is a treasure for my soul!!! don’t worry about all that mean asks, they just can’t stand that here are different opinions and we are not kissing ass their favs!!

have a nice part of a day!!!!

Thank you for speaking up about your experience about war and how you feel about this I love that we can talk anything and any subject in this blog and no one says please stick with the gossip

I know I have never been feel or experienced what you have been through only think we can say is I feel for you and help both your country and Palestine about donations but if you don’t feel okay and need someone to talk to I am always here (this includes all people in this blog btw) i know these things can mentally do to our brains so I want you all to know I’m here

Thank you for your kind words about the blog and thank you to the anons of this blog for being here ❤️

Have nice day/night 😊