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feminaexlux · 3 years

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Fall to Me

TBH I realize belatedly after writing this that Truth was fomenting chaos in my soul and it needed to be taken the fuck out with a proverbial shotgun

Anyway here's a fic that was based off of Truth and without knowledge of the rest of S4 so far, just in case nothing makes sense

I also know I promised smangst (smut + angst) but I got tired/lazy and @mintaka14 posted something I felt was eerily similar (or just reminded me I needed to get this done) so I wanted to get this out the door

Read on AO3 here!

Rated M for language I guess?

⁂

Luka was in a precarious situation. He was lying half-naked on Marinette's chaise, with Marinette herself lying half-naked on him. She let out a quiet sleepy giggle when she brushed her thigh against his raging hard-on, still unfortunately trapped under his over-tight jeans. His neck felt sore where she'd bitten him and he figured there'd be a pretty obvious bruise there soon.

His chest was also similarly marked.

He woke up like this. He had woken up when he had needed to sneeze because some hair got all up in his face. He then realized he had a whole-ass person on top of him. And that person was the girl he had been in love with for years. He had gently brushed away her hair and she had hummed out a "Mmmm, Luuuuka," that got him hot-and-bothered and unable to go back to sleep. He kinda didn't want to wake her in fear of this whole precarious situation blowing up in his face.

⁂

This all started a week ago with Dingo, that fucker. Well, sort of. Maybe. Maybe that was all circumstantial. But Dingo had 2 extra tickets to The Bondsmiths and Ding had given them to Luka. Juleka was busy with stuff, his Ma wasn't into this newfangled noise, Ivan wouldn't go without Mylene, Mylene was in Spain on vacation, Rose was "stuff," and if Dingo was involved most of Luka's other friends wouldn't be.

He'd just thrown it out into a group chat "Hey I have an extra ticket anyone want to come?" and Marinette was the one that said "me~!" Luka and Dingo had a tense stare off when Dingo handed over the tickets.

Her? Dingo's sharp brown eyes seemed to say.

Luka stared back coolly. Yes. We're friends.

Dingo fucking smirked. How much longer, eh? Cheers, mate. He gave the tickets to Luka with a smarmy wink.

The night of the showing Luka got stuck being the designated driver. He was used to it. The concert area was indoors and packed. Ding almost got shitfaced and Brielle had to keep him from falling over. At least the sets were fantastic. When the concert was closing at around 02:34 Ding and Brielle were having sloppy disgusting make-outs, making both Luka and Marinette ever so slightly uncomfortable.

That was when it all started getting weird. Weirder.

Brielle came up for air and told Luka that she and Ding would take a cab back, so all Luka would need to do was drop off Marinette. Luka shrugged and did just that, but Marinette invited him up to crash at her place because it was already so late and he looked so tired. He was about to pass on that when Marinette mentioned that her parents were on vacation in China and wouldn't be back for a whole month, just… out of the blue.

Before he could formulate any sort of coherent response she took his hand and pulled him up the stairs to the living room, sat him on the couch, started brewing some chamomile tea for the both of them, and talked about the concert. Marinette smiled at him after handing him a mug and short-circuited his brain again. "That was fun!"

"I'm glad you enjoyed," Luka smiled back, sipping his tea.

She sat down next to him and brushed her hair back over her ear. A shiny black earring seemed to glimmer with the light it caught. "I'm really glad I was able to go with you."

His head was empty except for noticing the light blush she had on her cheeks. She looked up at him with her big blue eyes, and somehow Luka got the sense that she was… expecting something? Oh, a response, duh. "Same. It's always nice to hang out with you."

She smiled, drank the rest of her tea and set it aside. "Luka, can I kiss you?"

… What? Wow, alright he was tired. He thought he heard her ask him if she could kiss him. He was already in the half-asleep pseudo-dream state and probably imagined that whole thing. Goddamn he was such a simp for her. "Heh," he said noncommittally.

Marinette blinked at him. "Is that a… a no?"

"Hmm?"

She scooted closer to him and he took a big gulp of his tea to hide his nervousness. "You… don't want me to kiss you?"

Oh God he heard that correctly. He sputtered and coughed, covering his mouth with a fist. "Wh-what?" He blushed hard.

She blushed as well. "Sorry! I'm sorry. I-I-I thought… um."

Several years ago they had tried to date but she'd always been… unavailable. So they kept hanging out as friends, which was… fine. It was fine. They'd never even gotten to really do anything together as a couple but as friends? It went better.

He wasn't over her. Never tried to convince himself he was. But he also honestly hadn't expected her to want to get back together. So… what changed? She sighed heavily, her complexion calming back down. "Nothing changed. Not really." She looked down toward the floor at her feet and he finally realized he asked that last thought out loud. "I… maybe I guess I did." She looked back up at him. "I've been thinking lately that I just want… to do something for me, for once. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…" She trailed off and stared back at the floor.

"I've never stopped wanting to be with you." Oh shit he said it. She looked back up at him and he awkwardly took another swallow of tea and looked away. "Sounds bad. I guess it is," he said eventually.

"But you didn't tell me?"

He met her eyes. "You were happy. You were with Adrien. I can't force my feelings on you."

She took a breath and let it out slowly. "I was, yeah." Her words hung in the air.

Luka hadn't figured out what happened to break up the state of Adrienette, but when he came back from touring with Jagged, Marinette and Adrien were "just friends" again. Luka wasn't sure how long ago the split happened and after 2 or 3 years apart did he even know Marinette anymore?

She had welcomed him back to Paris as a more grown up Marinette, not actually so different than he had remembered her. She had more confidence, less anxiety, a spine of steel. She was in charge of herself and it was so good to see her so sure.

He didn't want to mess that up for her in any way. So they remained friends for 2 more years. And for one reason or another they both kept being single.

He had somehow reintegrated back in her inner circle of friends. Luka saw for himself that Marinette and Adrien had a lot of history in their little in-jokes and double talk, dropping code phrases and making each other laugh at random. Maybe they'd reignite that spark and Luka didn't want to be caught in the resulting blaze. Even if they didn't, underneath it all he worried about being disappointed and left in the dark by Marinette like he'd been all those years ago.

Not that it did anything to change his attraction to her. He was a sucker for girls like her, except there had only ever been the one.

Marinette took his free hand and squeezed it gently. "I was happy, yes. And… I was hoping I could be again. With you?"

⁂

Slowly, Marinette thought, take it slow. She did spring this on him a little suddenly but hey, it felt right, and she had it on relatively good authority that it was time. At this point in her life she knew to trust her gut instinct and friendly advice. Although she felt more okay with this because her head was sliiightly impaired right now.

She also thought that he'd jump on… her, she supposed, given the opportunity - but he was uncharacteristically reserved. Was it uncharacteristic? Maybe not. He'd always been pretty laid back and easy going.

And observant.

Which meant he was thinking and had doubts about them. Well, shit. Okay. She didn't make it easy on them the last time they tried anything like this. Actually, Hawkmoth had made life difficult for her so there hadn't even been an opportunity for a them.

He sighed softly and squeezed her hand back. "I want… this. I do. But there's still something that worries me."

Alright, fuck going slow. "I'm Ladybug. I am now and I was then. That's why I kept disappearing." This was alright, it was kind of an open secret by this point in her superhero career. Her parents knew, her closest friends knew, and Luka was a close friend she wanted even closer, so he should know.

His mouth was slightly open and his eyebrows shot up. "Ah."

"Things are… okay now, aren't they? I'm not needed like I was before."

He smiled a little and his worried expression softened, understanding. "That… does explain a lot of things but that's not the only thing I was worried about."

That surprised Marinette. And actually now she started to worry herself. What other red flags had she given him? Shit. She'd been a basket case in her earlier teens but she'd left behind the Teenage Angst Things and graduated to Adult Things, hadn't she? Fuck.

He chuckled. "It's not --all-- a you thing, this is a me thing," he said.

"Oh please don't give me the 'It's not you it's me' talk when we haven't started anything," Marinette interrupted.

He snorted, putting down his empty tea mug on the table. "Yeah, I still want to give you some context," he continued. "First off, I'm not like Dad, I don't want to be a big rock star with all that baggage. I just wanna play music and do small gigs and have fun. I'm not gonna be rolling in money and I can't give you everything that you'd possibly want."

Marinette blinked. "I… already knew that?"

"Second, if you do want to 'start' things I promise you I'm not just going to let you go again."

Marinette bit back a smile. "Alright. Are we entering some kind of agreement here? Is this a pre-nup?" She stuck her tongue out at him.

"We're already getting married?" He laughed.

"Not if you don't want to kiss me!" He leaned in and brushed his lips against hers.

Soft, warm, simple. Real.

She placed her hands on his face and brought him in for another kiss, stopping him from pulling back all the way. "More," she breathed out.

⁂

"More?" Luka thought. It was… an odd ask but okay… He was sort of interested in more as well so why not? Except well, there were a few things clarified but he really meant to talk about things in detail before diving into… her mouth like he just did. Her fingers worked their way through his hair, her nails skimming across his scalp sending shivers down his spine. She gave back as much as she was receiving from him in their make-out and if he had to taste only one thing for the remainder of his life he'd want it to be her: sweet, warming, with notes of chamomile, bourbon, vodka, and rum.

This was getting a little too indulgent but most of him didn't mind. One part of him craved this from her, but… wait, shit. Bourbon? Vodka? Rum? She'd been drinking, dumbass. Shit. "Mm--" He tried to say her name to get her attention, maybe slow them down a bit -- okay, a lot -- but she had just leaned back on the couch and he was pulled down with her still relentlessly kissing him. "Mar--" he tried again, but she took that opportunity to take his bottom lip gently between her teeth. One of her hands went to his hips and she grabbed a belt loop and hooked a finger under his jeans, tugging him closer.

Oh boy.

He broke free from her a little reluctantly. "Hold on," he chuckled nervously after pulling back. "Wait a sec."

Her eyes went wide open and she froze. She pulled back her hands and stuttered out a "W-was that bad? S-Sorry! Oh I'm so--"

He pressed two fingers to her lips to stop the torrent of apologies. Apparently the penchant of apologizing for everything wouldn't change about Marinette even if she'd been drinking. "Marinette, you had a few drinks. I don't… I don't think…" He sighed, sitting back up.

"I only had 3?" Marinette squeaked.

"4. You finished off Brielle's."

"I-I think I'm pretty sober?"

"But you're not sure."

"I'm… sober enough, aren't I?"

"I'm not confident making that call."

"But I… I want this," Marinette said quietly but firmly. "I really want this."

The thought that kept mentally slapping Luka across the face was But will you still want this in the morning? Well. He had to be honest with himself. It was really Will you still want me in the morning?

Her knowing the general trajectory of his life and joking about marriage aside, she hadn't said anything about wanting him. Wanting a "this" and wanting to be happy again, sure. Having him along for the ride, sure. But actually wanting him and all he was? Still unclear.

And even if she said she wanted him, would he believe her? She'd been 14, yes, but she said she wanted to date and… never actually followed through, Ladybug duties aside. He sighed to himself. She hadn't been ready. That wasn't her fault. She couldn't tell him then.

But that time of being left behind didn't magically evaporate with an explanation.

He didn't think he was bitter or resentful but all of that was hitting him full-force now. Not again, his head warned him. Not again. You don't have to deal with that. And yeah, he didn't have to deal with that... Sometimes a heartbreak was worth braving.

He needed some time to think about if this was worth braving.

He felt Marinette shuffling at his side but he didn't give in to the temptation to look. He stared down at his hands, his elbows propped on his knees as he slumped forward.

"Can… Can I hear what you're thinking?" Marinette asked softly. There was a little bit of uncertainty in her voice. He didn't say anything for several heartbeats. "Luka?"

Well, at least she didn't call him Adrien. That was a plus. God that'd been once and it still left an awful taste in his mouth. "You should probably head to bed. We can talk later." Later. There was always later. Except he was tired of later. It'd been better when he didn't have to tell himself he could wait. It'd been better when he hadn't had anything to wait for.

Easier. Not better. He had to give her that.

"No," she said. "I'd like to talk now if that's alright. I'd like to… understand." Right, she was better at standing her ground. She wasn't 14 anymore. He wasn't 16 and naïvely hopeful anymore.

He probably wasn't going to sleep anyway. "I don't know how to trust you."

⁂

Shit. Shit shit shit.

Marinette felt the all too familiar cold panic settling on her shoulders like it always did. Of course he didn't trust her, she wouldn't trust herself fully now with how things played out back then. She was definitely getting a headache.

Fucking Cockmoth. Fucking Guardianship. Fucking… Adr--no, she made her peace with Adrien. They were past that now. Fucking… obligations and wrangling all those threads in her life to hold together. Marinette figured she was done with all that, but…

At the epicenter of all of these problems was her. She had to admit, it wasn't her fault but it became her responsibility to treat those around her as fairly as she could. And she hadn't been fair with Luka.

God, she spent hours staring at pictures of Adrien and drooling over every damn appearance. When she tried to get past the crush the whole universe was conspiring to push her to indulge it instead. And worst yet, she did indulge it while trying to date Luka! This was… she should have seen it coming. Who in their right mind wouldn't be at least a little bit wary of her intense obsession over Adrien in her formative years influencing her now? It defined who she was for a long time.

But she was different now, she grew up. She just needed to show it, right?

Wait. There was something about the way he said what he said. "You don't know how to trust me?" He nodded. "Do… do you at all?"

"Mostly." Okay, so there was still a tiny sliver of a chance? "I trust you with almost everything."

"Except?"

"Except me." He paused for a moment. "And you've been drinking."

But! But I… Yeah. "Okay." Her being slightly impaired did make things a little complicated. And maybe that was the reason why she was being a bit impulsive right now, the alcohol was fast-forwarding her decision making process. Marinette let out a breath she held in. "Will you stay here tonight?"

He raised an eyebrow but relented with a "Yeah."

"Come upstairs with me?"

He raised the other eyebrow as well, looking nervous. "Upstairs? To your room?"

"Yes, I wanted to--" It took a second but it clicked. What she asked didn't sound any less impulsive with how he probably interpreted that. "Oh I'm not going to seduce you or anything I just was thinking it'd be nicer for you if you were using my daybed instead of the couch here but I guess it could sound a little like I'm asking for sex which I'm not. I mean unless you consider making-out se--okay nevermind!" Wow, way to go, Marinette. Her face was burning with embarrassment. "I'll bring down a blanket!"

Okay, she had to admit it, she was definitely more than a little tipsy. She felt lightheaded when she stood up quickly. She tried to hide her disorientation as best she could as she walked away, heading toward the ladder leading up to the hatch. She'd been so focused on seeming not-drunk that she bonked her head at the top climbing up. "Ouch!"

"Are you alright?" Luka asked, and even tipsy Marinette could hear the puzzled amusement in his voice.

"I'm fine," Marinette muttered. She forced open the entry and it slammed open on the other side with a loud thunk. Fuck, she wasn't at all convincing him that she was sober. She slipped off her shoes and sat back down on her chaise/daybed, feeling incredibly embarrassed at herself. This was not at all going the way she hoped. He still felt betrayed at the things that happened when she was an idiot teenager. Should she have known? He never told her!

But he never told her because he never thought they'd get back together. That was obvious in the way he said all the things he said.

He did want to be with her. He did want her. But he'd been so hurt by what happened and… she never knew. No, of course she knew, he was akumatized by it. He'd carried that for so long and let her live her life without her knowing. Damn it, she needed to… she needed to make this right.

How could she make this right?

She was unsurprised as she felt the cool streaks of tears falling down her cheeks. In the morning, they'll talk. Ignoring the fact that it was already morning, she knew they both just needed to put this aside and get some rest for now. She heard shuffling and Luka making his way up the ladder. She quickly wiped her eyes.

"Hey, you doing okay?" He had a clear look of concern on his face, kneeling down in front of her. "Is your head hurting?"

"Oh no, sorry, I just spaced out."

"You hit your head that hard?" Luka asked, sounding even more concerned.

"No, no. I-I was… My head's fine, Luka." She sighed. "Just. Thinking, is all. Sorry, let me get the blanket."

He looked up at her a bit more keenly. "You've been crying." A simple statement.

"Yeah," Marinette said quietly, defeatedly. "But I'm okay." She pasted on a smile that didn't reach her eyes. She started getting up but he caught her attention and spoke with some hesitation.

"I don't need the blanket. I'm probably not going to sleep," he said with a half smile, sitting down on the floor in front of her. "Too much going on here," he tapped against his temple. "I'm guessing the same for you?"

"Yeah again," she said, smiling for real this time. "Can we keep talking?"

"We can. I thought it'd be better if you got some rest but sleep isn't coming for either of us anyway." The lights in her room were muted but she could see the bags forming under his eyes. He passed his hands over his chin, lightly scratching at the stubble coming in.

"I was really kind of… no, not kind of. I was awful when we dated before."

"You weren't awful. You just weren't there. I understand that you had Paris to save," he added quickly when she had furrowed her eyebrows. "But the fact remains that I wasn't able to spend any time with you. Juleka kept telling me to watch out and that you dated me only because Adrien wasn't available to date anymore. I was hoping you'd change your mind and you would want to be with me, but then you were making time for him and your other friends while I was left waiting. I'm a human being, Marinette, not a doormat. You forgot about me. It was miserable and I felt like shit. I almost regretted asking you out at all."

⁂

Ah, fuck.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. There were none of his usual filters. He just spewed all that out there. It was all true but maybe he should've let it go? She was young and dumb, anyone at that age was capable of making stupid-ass mistakes. Luka himself made soooo many of them. It'd been like 5 years since their breakup, maybe he should just get over it already. Marinette was in his arms literal minutes ago and he had to go and get like this. And he made her cry again. Nice one, Couffaine.

This was the worst sort of crying. She went absolutely still with a solemn expression, being oppressively silent while the tears fell from her eyes. He felt his mouth go dry and he swallowed. "I--" he cut himself off.

Marinette nodded her head so slightly Luka almost didn't see the motion. "I didn't make time for you," she agreed, her voice tiny and broken.

He suddenly wanted to make a quip about knowing all about time and giving Second Chances to let them both recover but that would be disingenuous and corny as hell. He wasn't so sure he believed in them much anymore. And maybe the way this played out was better anyway, at the very least he needed to own what he said as he couldn't take back his words.

Marinette broke the silence. "I… I wasn't very happy with myself back then. I did make a lot of bad decisions. I didn't give you… much of anything I guess."

He smiled a little. "I still have that pendant."

"I could have given you more. I could have been doing so much more. And I didn't. I didn't," she repeated, a hitch in her voice.

Fuck. He could meet her halfway at least. "It sounded like you had a lot to deal with. You knew your friends better so it makes a lot of sense that you'd prefer to hang out with them. I was just some guy. The brother of a friend. I wasn't that important in the long run."

"Don't say that," Marinette cringed a little. She wrapped her arms around herself. "You were--are important. I was… I was scared. Of a lot of things. A lot of stupid things." She shivered slightly. "I was a little scared of disappointing you. I was scared that maybe I had used you to… make me feel better about myself. I was scared that you'd never see all of me. I was scared that Hawkmoth would use you against me and your family and Paris if you knew I was Ladybug and it happened anyway without you knowing about me. I was so stupid back then."

He sighed. "Hey, please don't beat yourself up. I didn't want to make you feel like you have to explain what happened in the past. I got too… wrapped up in how I felt back then. We didn't work out and that's just life." It hadn't been their time.

Did he still love her? Sure. But they'd been better off as friends. She even made a point of trying to hang out with him nowadays. She told him everything that was on her mind. She gave him small gifts here and there, made it to all of his gigs, invited him to all of her fashion showings. They saw the movies and concerts they wanted to see together. When she felt lost or sad he was the first one she reached out to.

As… friends?

There was this uncomfortable feeling tugging at the back of his mind. He felt it at the base of his skull, a slow dawning realization. But… he almost didn't want to acknowledge it as it could have been just some phantom hope that she would love him like he sometimes dreamed. It was way too easy to get lost in some fantasy.

Maybe he was just scared himself. Scared of being ghosted again if he picked up this hope and tried to make it real. In a roundabout way he was saying that, at least.

Okay. Time to bite the bullet. He leaned forward and put his hand on her elbow. "I know we're hanging out a lot more now. I'm sincerely enjoying all the times we get to do stuff together. I'm grateful that you're giving me all that." This is it. Just say it out loud. "I'm saying that if we want to be more than friends, I'm scared that you're going to leave me again."

Whew. Was that so bad? Actually yeah it was terrifying.

There was a grimace on Marinette's face. "I… I-I understand," she said weakly. "I understand why you'd be afraid of that. But I don't know how to prove to you that I won't?"

It felt like the world shifted, the same as the first time he ever saw her. That earlier hope was coiling around his heart, making it beat faster. "You won't?"

She kept looking pained. "J-Just so you know I t-totally get it if you wanna stay friends or… or something, but I-I want… I know I messed up and I get pretty crazy sometimes so maybe you don't want anything to do with me after this and it's completely your right to do that--"

"Hold on," Luka interrupted her, half anxious and half this is so Marinette. "I'm not--" She put her fingers to his lips to quiet him.

"B-But I have to ask if you could give me a second chance?"

⁂

Marinette pulled her head back a bit and got annoyed at herself. "Sorry, that wasn't supposed to be a pun. O-On your… history as Viperion."

Great, so not only had she made an ass of herself but she just unintentionally punned at Luka. Marinette intensely disliked when Chat had made those inappropriately annoying puns whenever moments were tense. She seemingly picked up the habit, ugh.

Luka laughed and the tension was cut a bit. Maybe Adrien wasn't so wrong to have joked all the time. Luka took her hand into his and pressed his face against her palm. "Alright, alright," he breathed out. Instantly Marinette's heart started beating faster. "I just wanted you to hear me out. You do hear me, right?"

Marinette nodded. "I hear you." There was a slightly rough and tickling sensation under her finger tips as she was able to feel some of his 5-o'clock-shadow (except what was it now, 4am?). Funny, she didn't notice that so much when she'd been kissing him.

"Then you should know that even though I've been scared, I could never stop hoping you'd warm back up to me." He gently folded her hand in his and smiled up at her. "Do you want to go out to dinner with me? We don't have to get married along the way."

"W-Well, yes to dinner, or maybe breakfast? But I mean," Marinette said, attempting for casual but probably still coming across nervous. "Don't throw that whole marriage idea out yet. I'm still not sure how to… prove things?"

He smiled. "Spend some quality time with me. That's all. It doesn't have to be big."

"Okay, breakfast and dinner. And lunch, too." She wanted to spend all the time she could with him. He wasn't asking for much -- to be honest he never asked for much, and this was something she wanted to give.

Luka smiled, probably thinking she was joking. "Think you can get some rest now?" He asked. "I can head back downstairs--"

"No! No, no, I mean, stay here with me. I-If you want."

"You're not trying to seduce me, are you?" He grinned.

"Well, I can," Marinette grinned back. "Can I?"

He seemed a little surprised by that. "Uh," he blushed.

How cute, he got flustered. Capitalizing on that, Marinette leaned forward to wrap her arms around his shoulders, her forehead against his. "I'd really like to," she whispered.

"How... inebriated are you?"

She sighed. "Do you really think I'd be having a coherent conversation with you if I was drunk?"

"You tell me, Ladybug."

"Luka Couffaine, you are a gentleman but I'm merely... warm and not even buzzed anymore. I would definitely still like to seduce you."

He blinked a few times. "Oh." He paused again, thinking it through. He gave a little laugh. "I'd really like that too."

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stevesharrlngtons · 4 years

Text

what i want.

roman godfrey x reader

summary: takes place in s1 of hemlock grove just after roman’s coma and the aftermath.

word count: 3.1k

a/n: yeaaahhhh so i know this is st related but it felt more right to post this here over my marvel account? anyways, i just really really wanted to write for roman and this poured out of me yesterday (which is surprising bc i can’t remember the last time i wrote a fic all in one day) but even though i already know this is gonna flop, i wanted to post it anyway just for fun (: i hope you enjoy and if you do read, please let me know that you think!!!!

With an ear pressed to his chest and a hand cradling his neck, you counted the rhythmic beats of his frail heart.

He looked the same, felt the same, smelt the same; but the man we lay still below you wasn’t Roman. Not in the metaphorical sense at least. This man who’s lashes lay gently against the apples of his cheeks obscuring his large doe eyes, wasn’t your love. He was still and quiet and lacked the emotion of your Roman. Your Roman who could never hide how he really felt, who wore every feeling on his sleeve, unable to mask his emotion.

At least, always around you.

A soft french ballad played in the background as you hunched over his hospital bed in the attic of the Godfrey home. You could hear the faint scratch of the needle against the vinyl, more so when there was a lull between songs.

Heavy footsteps entered from your right and you knew before they reached you that it was Shelly to fetch you for school.

“I know, Shell.” You said quietly, like you might wake Roman from his restless sleep if you spoke any louder, “I just need a few more minutes with him.”

The tall girl loomed over you both, watching you stroke Roman’s cheek lovingly with your thumb, the rest of your nimble fingers still holding his thin neck.

She had never experienced the kind of unequivocal and palpable love that she did when she observed you and Roman together. She often wondered if all the tales of true love and soulmates that were regaled in some of her favorite novels were actually true? Because the way you looked at Roman, and the way Roman looked at you, could not be fabricated or faked.

After a long beat of silence, Shelly gripped her phone and typed out a simple message to you.

“I miss him, too.”

She could see tears forming in your eyes once more. Your eyes that seemed to have not ceased their perpetual filming for the last two weeks Roman had been under.

All you could was nod in response. When Shelly placed a dense hand on your shoulder, you silently wept.

It all felt so surreal. But Roman was always larger than life, you probably should have prepared for something like this. You were just so scared.

That night two weeks before, when he had come to you in the pouring rain, drenched to the bone, you had been scared then, too. Roman was dramatic, yes. But never anything like this. He trembled fiercely and his fingers twitched and his muscles rippled with fear.

He didn’t seem himself as you wrapped him in blankets and placed him in your bed to warm his icy bones. You had wound your arms around him as he cried into your neck, tears and snot streaking your skin as you soothed him the best you could.

“I’m ugly, I’m a monster, I am unlovable and disgusting.” He chanted between hiccups and deep intakes of breath, like he was under a spell.

“Please stop, please don’t say that. You’re not, you’re not, you’re not. I love you, I always will.” You whispered sincerely to him, beginning to shutter yourself at the uncharatieric behavior he was displaying.

He startled you even more when he grasped your wrists together with one hand and flipped you onto your back, meeting you with a fierce kiss before you could comprehend his actions.

It was all teeth and tongue and labored breathing as Roman pulled your strings in only the way that he could. Once he was inside you, he only became more brutal. It was more pain than pleasure as he looked at you with soulless eyes and his mouth agape. But everything Roman was, was good. Even now he felt like heaven.

When he had finished and pulled two orgasms from your body, he collapsed on top of you. You cocooned him with your limbs, whispering loving words and frightened questions as his body seemed to pass out from sheer emotional exhaustion, anchoring you beneath him.

The next morning, you were dressed in nothing but Roman’s cardigan and tucked underneath your duvet with no knowledge of his departure the night before.

It was only minutes after you woke that Olivia called to curtly inform you of Roman’s condition.

You placed your own hand, the one not holding Roman, over Shelly’s and squeezed it.

“He is so lucky to have you.” You said, swallowing thickly to look up and give Shelly a smile, “He loves you so much, I know he’ll wake just for you.”

Shelly knew you were trying to soothe her as well, something you had a knack for since you came into the two Godfrey’s lives. She appreciated it greatly, but wished you would let yourself swim and stop trying to make sure she stayed afloat.

“You, as well. He will wake for us.” Shelly typed and you squeezed her hand in a tight pulse.

“We can only hope.”

You dropped Shelly’s hand as she went to turn the music off while you kissed Roman goodbye.

“Where, today?” Came Shelly’s mechanical voice as the music ceased.

“His left eyelid.” You replied, standing up and stroking Roman’s porecelain cheek.

You had taken to kissing a new part of Roman each day as you left him. To cherish him even while his mind was missing. You were saving his lips for when he woke, hoping his subconscious would crave your mouth on his enough to jar him from his slumber. Roman was never quiet about his appreciation for your lips.

“And tomorrow?” She asked.

“The other.”

As you sat in english class, you couldn’t help but feel Peter’s absence in the seat next to yours. With neither him nor Roman around, you felt off kilter. The boys had been going through a rough patch lately, but Peter was still your friend when Roman wasn’t looking. Giving you winks that would reply with an eye roll, and chatting between classes. You believed you could mend the fence between the two men by simply being Switzerland, but after the police incident, Peter wasn’t so sure.

But you and Roman were alike in many ways, you told Peter as much.

“You two will work this out. Even if it gets hard.” You say flippantly one day as you rummaged through your purse for a tube of lipgloss.

“Yeah? And how do you know? Are you an oracle and just haven’t told me?” Peter jokes as you take the cosmetic from your bag.

You remove the fuzzy doe-foot applicator from the pink make up with a loud squelch and smirk at him.

“Because not only do I know everything,” a swipe of the goods on your lips, “But, I always get what I want.”

Now, his absence along with Roman’s seemed to be significant. Connected.

And then you got a call.

And the ID almost gave you a heart attack.

You fled the classroom without the formality of an excuse. It wasn’t any secret that you and Roman were a couple, so some teachers had been far more lenient with you since he had fallen under. Thankfully, Ms. Day was one of them.

You ran from the class and around the corner for the veil of privacy before you picked up the call.

“Roman?”

“God, how I’ve missed your voice.” He said, punctuated with his melodic laugh.

You burst into tears, clenching your phone tightly in your sweating palm as Roman cooed to you.

“Hey, hey, no. No tears, baby. Too fucking hot to be sad, you know that?”

“I’m not sad, God no! These are tears of joy, of fucking relief.” You felt suddenly very fatigued from the worry and dread escaping your body at the sound of Roman’s voice, and slid down the wall to the grey linoleum below.

“Good, hate to think you’d forget about me after two weeks out of commission.” You could see his smile in your minds eye and your stomach twinge with love.

“You know I could never forget about you.” You replied, whipping your damp cheeks on the back of your hand.

“I’m glad. I was counting on it.” You can see his smirk now.

“Dick.” You laughed and he did as well.

“Eh, you love me.”

“Yeah, yeah I do.”

There was a silence and you wished so helplessly that he was in your arms. Your Roman. Not the still and sterile one. The one with a wicked tongue and a beautiful smile that he offered to you so freely.

It was in this silence though, that you heard the purr of an engine.

“Baby, are you in a car? Are you with Olivia?”

“Uh, no. Not exactly.” And the bubble of joy popped just as it had formed.

“Roman, where are you? Why are you in a car?”

“It’s nothing for you to worry about, my love.” He hummed quietly his adoration and immediately you knew what was happening.

“Put Peter on the phone.”

“How did you-”

“Just fucking do it, Roman.”

You could hear him curse, then the shuffle of the phone being passed between hands.

“Hey, (Y/N/N), how’ya doin’?” Peter asked, faking a calm tone.

“Let’s forget the goddamn pleasantries, Peter. What in the living fuck are you doing trying to track this wolf when Roman just rose from the dead?”

“Rose from the dead sounds a bit dramatic, don’t you think?”

“Does it sound like I give a shit?”

“Frankly, no. It doesn’t.”

“And what does it sound like I give a shit about?”

“Probably Roman not doing this right now.”

“Bingo, Fiddo. Now you either take him back to his house or I am coming to find you two and I promise you, I can be scarier than Olivia.” You hissed into the receiver, looking around to make sure no rouge students in the halls were hearing your conversation.

“Oh I don’t doubt it. But this was his choice, (Y/N). Nothing neither of us can do anything to change his mind.”

“Peter, I swear to-” This time, you were the one cut short.

“Baby, listen,” Roman said after commandeering his phone back.

“No, Roman, you listen! I know you have some attachment to helping kill this thing, but now isn’t the time.”

“But it is. It’s complicated, but you just have to trust me on this.”

“I do trust you, Ro. I do. But I don’t trust whatever this thing is.” You sighed, leaning your head back against the wall, “Unfortunately I do trust what it is capable of. Which is a fuck tone pain.”

“I’ll be safe. I have Peter, Peter’s got me. I got this. We know what we’re doing.”

“Wish I could believe that.”

“Baby, I promise. I swear, even. We are gonna find some answers and then I’ll be home to you in one piece.”

You pause and Roman calls your name from the phone, his voice vulnerable.

“It’s funny. This morning you were in a coma and you were more safe then than you are right now.”

“I love you.” Roman says firmly.

“I know.”

Another pause and you know you can’t scold your way out of this one.

“Just… please call me when you get back. I don’t think I can take another minute of being away from you.” Your tears were beginning again.

“Me too. You’re all I can think about,” Roman sniffles, “I need you, I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

You both sit in silence on the line before Roman tells you he needs to go.

“Ok… but hey, Turner?”

“Yeah?”

“Tell Hooch to be careful. Both of you just… be careful.”

“Always.”

And the line goes dead.

After school you debated going straight to the Godfrey residence to wait for Roman to return, but decided against it. You weren’t sure exactly what Olivia knew and didn’t know, and didn’t feel like being alone with her while you figured it out.

So, you waited anxiously in your bedroom, doing everything possible to quell your shaking nerves. You had a perpetual tremor in your body as fiddled with your phone to try and distract yourself. Which was partly true, the other reason your phone was glued to your palm was so you would know the second Roman contacted you.

Though, as the sun descended in the sky and the night sky spanned for hours, you were becoming more restless. Whatever Peter and Roman were doing was no doubt dangerous and time sensitive, and it made you sick that it was nearing midnight without any word from either boy.

As the night continued to wear on and your mind ran away from rationality into an amalgamation of pure fear and absurdity, you decided you couldn’t sit around anymore. You weren’t going to wait for Roman to call and tell you he was home safe. You were going to drive to his house and wait for him there, and if he wasn’t back in an hour, you’d go out looking for him yourself.

As you put on a pair of house slippers and a sweatshirt over your nightgown, your phone vibrated on your vanity. Your heart began to speed up in your chest as you rushed over to the table and picked up your buzzing phone. On the screen was a text alert from Roman, with only one word present:

Come.

And you didn’t need to be told twice.

When you arrived at the Godfrey’s, you fled your car so quickly you almost forget the keys in the ignition. You ran up the front steps and banged both fists on the door needing to use your excess anxiety and adrenaline for something. And while you didn’t want to face Olivia’s wrath, your judgment was clouded by the chance of seeing Roman, alive and well.

When Roman finally opened the door, you wasted no time throwing yourself into his arms. He stumbled at the impact of your embrace, but was quick to remedy his shock by wrapping his arms around you. The feeling of this made your throat constrict.

“Jesus fucking Christ I missed you.” Roman all but growled as he firmly smoothed flyaways from your hair and placed his strong hand on the back of your neck.

“You have no idea how much I missed you, Ro.” You said, voice thick with tears as you began to pepper kisses anywhere you could reach.

Neck, jaw, ear, temple, cheek, shoulder, trap, clavicle, repeat.

Roman groaned appreciatively in your ear as you covered him in your lips.

“You scared me half to death you know?” You said between kisses.

“I know, I’m sorry. Things have been… odd. I still can’t remember it all.” Roman says, his tone confused.

“Well, Olivia said-”

“I know what she said. I just don’t know if I believe it.”

You furrowed your brows and tried to wiggle in his hold, silently signaling for Roman to place you back on your feet, but he only gripped you tighter.

“Not yet. Just, stay a while.” His voice wavered.

You finally pulled back to look at him, his eyes red from tears and shadowed. Sometimes it was difficult to look at him, his beauty and pain were just too much.

“I’m staying, Roman. You couldn’t get me to leave if you wanted to.” You reply.

A wash of emotion washes over his features as his lip quivers and his eyes attempt to blink back tears. You opened your mouth to try and alleviate him of whatever he was feeling when his mouth crashed to yours.

You forgot how good his lips felt against yours as your mouths meshed together. The velvet of his tongue and the mint and smoke on his breath. His hands gripping you everywhere as he pressed you impossibly close, moaning into you with deep primal noises sounding from his chest.

“Roman, baby,” You pulled away for air and Roman promptly moved his attention to your neck and clavicle. “I need you. Take me upstairs, I can’t wait any longer.”

Roman groaned and bit you hard on the shoulder before hitching your legs higher on his hips and running you both up the winding staircase behind him.

Bruises, at the behest of his mouth and fingers, littered your body as you lay on Roman’s chest as you both still reeled in the blissful aftermath of your climaxes. Roman’s fingers idled along and spine while his unoccupied hand rested behind his head.

He had begun to tell the tale of his night, of Peter and the turn and Chasseur and his mother. He told you Peter was upstairs unconscious and that he was unsure what was going to happen when he woke.

“So, after all this, everything’s still shitty? Is that what you’re saying?” You muttered.

“Essentially. But I have hope… we’re going to figure this out. I know it.” Roman nodded, like he is reassuring himself more than you.

“Me too. You two are smart,”

“You flatter me.” Roman chuckles and looks down at you.

“Just trying to butter you up to get into your pants.” He laughs again and slaps your ass.

“Clearly it’s working.” He replies.

“Well that, and I always get what I want.” You say with a content smile.

Roman hums, “Don’t I know it.”

“You enable it.”

“Again, I know.” He kisses your forehead and you burrow closer to him.

You two lay in silence a bit longer before he sighs.

“I think we should move to sleep in the attic. Just in case something happens with Peter and he needs us.”

We. Us.

The small implication in his word choice makes you smile and once again fall under a wave of emotion, just so happy that your Roman was back to you.

You don’t know what you had done if there was no we or us with Roman any longer. But you choose to not fixate on the past.

You just nod and kiss the underside of his chin. Roman gives you a small grin and begins to get up. As you do the same, Roman throws you one of his white button downs, giving you a stern look as you raise an eyebrow in question.

“Just put it on. I got two weeks to make up for, baby. It started with reuniting, then fucking, and now you in my shirt.”

You try to hold off the wide smile that was threatening to take over your face and put on the shirt, buttoning it to just above your cleavage.

“Yeah? And what’s next?” You ask, watching Roman round the bed toward you.

“Sleep.”

Now in a pair of threadbare silk pajama pants and nothing more, Roman extends his hand to you.

“Shall we?”

“We shall.” You reply, taking his hand, weaving your fingers as he led you to the attic.

i hope you enjoyed even though it was for a different show!! and if you did, pls i’d love some feedback (:::: also let me know if you would possibly want another roman fic bc i have other ideas lol

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cheri-translates · 4 years

Text

[CN] Victor’s Tennis Date

🍒Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for a date which has not been released in English servers!🍒

Important to read the prologue first for the backstory: here [added MC’s journal entries]

MC: I can’t do it, I can’t walk anymore…

Without realizing it, Victor and I have already been on this island for around ten days.

From finding materials for work to taking breathers, we have almost seen all the sights and tried all the entertainment.

Naturally, we didn’t miss tonight’s beach buffet barbecue.

At this moment, Victor offers me an outstretched hand as I lean against a chair, unwilling to move.

Victor: Since you’re full, you should take a walk. Who was one who kept saying she wanted to finish her food quickly so she can return to her room to continue with the proposal?

MC: Just let me be lazy for a day. My whole mind is filled with barbecue prawns and barbecue fish, so I can’t think of what to write…

Despite what I said, I still take Victor’s hand and stand up.

The energetic music from the beach gradually grows distant. Victor and I walk away from the noise, returning to a quiet path.

MC: Where are we going tomorrow?

Victor: We can meet the client tomorrow.

MC: Ah, the client you mentioned finally arrived! I even thought he stood us up…

My words come out in a garble, probably because I drank a little too much tonight. Victor draws closer to me and leans down.

Victor: What did you say?

MC: I said… this client is even more reputable than you!

Victor: …

Filled with Dutch courage, I use my fingers to count the number of times we opposed each other.

Victor walks at my side, listening quietly.

While I continue counting, I say in a soft voice.

MC: Victor… thank you.

Victor: What, you just finished complaining, and now you’re thanking me?

MC: If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have had the motivation to operate the company to such a good state now.

Victor: You’re so easily satisfied?

MC: Of course I’m not! We agreed to get to the top of the business world, so I’ll be No. 1!

I leap forward, doing a “Number 1” pose towards the night sky.

Victor: If you’re doing a pose, just do it. Don’t jump around.

Victor’s deep voice carries with it a tinge of resignation, and also a tinge of connivance. Perhaps it’s just a misperception in my drunken state.

MC: The point is… I still have to thank you, Victor. I mean it.

Victor: Dummy.

MC: How am I dumb? I came here for work purposes! Eh, you still haven’t told me who the client is.

I lift my head to look at Victor, but I can only see his eyes, which appear even darker than the evening.

Victor: It’s me.

MC wakes up sober and sees a glass of water and hangover medicine on the bedside table

Victor’s coat is on the sofa, and she recalls how she blacked out after Victor said he was the client

MC: It can’t be… could I have misheard? Why would he go through all this trouble to be my “client”?

I rub my head, which still feels slightly hazy. I decide to freshen up and look for Victor to clarify this matter.

She goes out and sees Victor playing tennis with a young man:

Victor is in sportswear, and it’s as though his entire temperament has changed.

His eyes are focused on the tennis ball in hand, as though able to predict the trajectory of the ball from the stillness.

Soon after, he flicks his wrist upwards –

Pung!

With a sharp parabola, the ball enters the opponent’s side of the court from a tricky angle.

The young man sprints and barely returns the ball with a poor angle.

Victor easily returns the ball, swinging his arm at a beautiful angle.

A few more rounds of back and forth ensue. Seeing that he’s unable to return the final ball, the young man releases a wry smile and puts his racket away.

He grins while talking to Victor, then turns to retrieve his bag, preparing to leave the court. Before he leaves through the door, he suddenly realizes that I’m standing outside.

Young man: Are you here to play tennis?

MC: Ah, I’m not…

Victor: She’s here to look for me.

With a look of understanding, the young man smiles at us amicably before turning around to leave.

I brisk walk into the tennis court, greeting Victor with a smile.

MC: Why are you training here so early?

Victor: I’ve been training over the past few days. You only found out today because you’re always dawdling in bed.

MC: You’ll have to blame the beds on this island for being too soft and making people not want to leave them... oh right, who was that person just now?

Victor: I don’t know him. He happened to be practicing with the ball, so I invited him to play two games. On the other hand, you drank quite a lot yesterday. I thought you’d be sleeping more.

MC: I had a dream, so I woke up.

Victor: A dream?

MC: I dreamt… that you said you’d take me to meet the client today.

Victor: I think you’re not fully awake yet.

MC: So it’s really you? Have you been assessing me over all this time as the client?

I panic while recalling the itinerary of the past few days. In contrast, Victor calmly takes up the tennis bag to the side, beckoning to me.

Victor: Let’s go for breakfast first.

They head to a restaurant overlooking the sea:

MC: You’re not eating?

Victor: I’ve already eaten.

I angrily stuff a piece of omelette into my mouth, blinking at him firmly.

I know that Victor understands what I mean – he should be giving me a proper explanation. However, when he opens his mouth, I’m left stunned.

Victor: What do you think of this island?

MC: Eh?

Victor: Does it suit the theme of “Haven” mentioned in your proposal?

MC: It’s extremely suitable! Over the past few days, I’ve already thought about several places to shoot and organize activities, for example…

I suddenly remember something and look at him, eyes wide in disbelief.

MC: Wait a minute… did you bring me to this island to help me with selecting locations for the shoot?

Victor: Dummy.

MC: Why did you suddenly call me a dummy again…

Victor: Choosing the shooting locations is the second reason. As for the first reason, you can think about it yourself.

I return Victor’s gaze, but I’m unable to think about what reason could possibly be more important than the program, so I shake my head honestly.

Victor lets out a sigh.

Victor: How long has it been since you’ve had a rest?

MC: I…

In order to prepare for this program, I haven’t had a day of rest since the beginning of last month.

I usually meet Victor in LFG, so it has been a very long time since I could enjoy a leisurely breakfast with him like this.

MC: It has been a while… the financing has arrived after all, so I want to show you the results quickly.

Victor: There’s no hurry. After getting the financing, you should be even more careful with the rest of the plan. The idea of your new program is not bad, but it still needs to be polished.

His tone is calm, but I can sense his certainty towards me in every word and sentence.

I feel a sense of warmth in my heart and I want to thank him. In the next second, Victor continues, making me swallow my words.

Victor: Anyway, the problems in your program can’t be resolved in a short time.

MC: …are there really that many issues? I was even quite confident in it…

Victor: It’s only when there are problems that improvements can be made. If you can’t find any issues, that is the true problem.

MC: Could you start with just one opinion so I can mentally prepare myself?

Victor: The very first problem…

I frantically await what he is about to say, but Victor pulls out a napkin.

He stretches out his arm, wiping off some scraps of omelette from the corner of my mouth.

Victor: …is that someone is too impatient. Finish your food first before working.

MC: …mm!

After breakfast, Victor and I return to the guest room.

Victor: Where’s your notebook?

MC: How did you know that I take notes?

Victor: Whenever someone goes to a new location, she would take out her handphone and snap pictures or write things down. She also only turns off the light very late at night… I’m not that slow.

I never thought Victor would notice this, and my face turns red.

It’s true that whenever I discover an interesting place on this island, I would note it down, and then tidy up my notes at night.

After taking the notebook from me, Victor flips through it seriously and nods.

Victor: The locations you noted down are very applicable to the theme.

MC: After having my proposals shot down so many times, of course I’ll grow!

Victor: …barely satisfactory. Elaborate more on how to use the area mentioned in this page.

MC elaborates but Victor objects to her idea. MC retorts firmly and Victor kind of gives in, telling her that she needs to produce something concrete in order for him to take back his objection

MC suggests that they play a game of tennis

MC: If I win, I will perfect the idea I mentioned earlier, and you are no longer allowed to put down my proposal. What do you think?

They head out to the court:

Victor: Judging from your confident tone just now, did you win an award for tennis like you did in billiards?

MC: Why do you remember these things… I’ve never won an award for tennis, but it was part of my P.E. classes during one semester. Don’t look down on me though! Here I come!

I cheer myself on in my heart, my body in a half bow. I toss the tennis ball gently.

Because it’s a bet, MC is taking this game very seriously. Her shots are easily returned by Victor

Victor wins the first point

MC says that she was just testing the waters, and they clarify that whoever gets 2 out of 3 points first will win

Victor: That ball… we’ll treat it as a warm-up.

Victor gets a point, and MC gets a point.

Victor raises his head. His eyes are narrowed slightly, as though seeing where the ball would land. Although he initially looks like he would lift his hand, he sets it down.

The ball lands on the line before rolling out of the court, so MC wins.

While MC celebrates, Victor walks towards her:

He reaches out to tidy my fringe, which is drenched with sweat.

Victor: Your character is really…

MC: What did you say?

Victor: Nothing much. I said that since you suddenly exerted yourself so much, you’re definitely at your limits. Are you able to walk on your own?

MC: Of course. I ate quite a lot this morning, although it feels like the calories have all been burnt…

Listening to my soft mutterings, Victor’s thin lips display a tender smile.

In the next moment, he offers me his hand.

Victor. Let’s go back to the room.

MC: Eh?

Victor: Or do you want to be left under the scorching sun?

I cast a glance at the blazing sun above us, and obediently grip Victor’s hand tightly.

In order to take care of my physical state, Victor doesn’t walk too quickly.

The intense tennis match has left a thin layer of sweat on his body. His palm meets mine, bringing with it the unique aftertaste of Summer.

MC: Victor, are you not going to acknowledge that you lost?

Victor: What are you trying to say?

MC: Since I won, can we fulfil the agreement of our bet?

Victor: I’ll consider it. Before that, show me the “concrete plan” you mentioned.

MC: Of course I’ll show you a concrete plan! Oh, there’s something non-work related that I want to ask you.

Victor: What?

MC: That line ball just now… did you let me win on purpose?

Victor: No. When it comes to winning and losing, I do not “let”. I can only say that dummies have their dummies’ luck, and sometimes I misperceive things.

MC: When?

Victor: Many times. You are the factor that always surprises me.

MC: …are you really complimenting me?

Victor: Dummy.

There is a smile in his voice when he says “dummy”, and I involuntarily raise my head to look at him. Our eyes meet.

Victor: Every surprising idea you come up with has a certain strength. It’s difficult for people to ignore. Since you’ve shown me your resoluteness, and are willing to proceed in line with your resoluteness, then…

He turns his head slightly and lowers his eyes to mine. His deep voice and the breeze enter my ears.

Victor: I will hand you my trust.

I blink, and then realise what his words mean.

MC: So that means… you’ve agreed!

Victor: For the time being.

I let out a cheer and want to lift my hands, but Victor gives my fingers a light squeeze.

Victor: Are you going to start hopping around again?

MC: I just want to express my happiness for a while…

I tell him what I didn’t manage to do so earlier. Something even more important than a ‘thank you’.

MC: Victor, shall we treat this as a tie?

Victor: Why, do you want to have another game?

MC: In the future.

The trees provide shade from the blazing sun, and a few rays of light descend on the both of us.

In our reciprocal clashing of swords, my scoreboard with him will continue on.

At the end, we will both win, reaching the goal together.

🎾

[ Moments 1 ]

Victor’s Post: Didn’t think there would be cats on the island.

MC: Where! Where is the cat!

Victor: ........on the island.

Victor’s Post: Didn’t think there would be cats on the island.

MC: When compared to Pudding, which is cuter?

Victor: Each has its own strengths.

Victor’s Post: Didn’t think there would be cats on the island.

MC: What kind of a cat is it?

Victor: A cat which is even greedier than you.

🎾

[ Moments 2 ]

Victor’s Post: Someone who rarely wins has just won a game, and her tail is raised to the sky.

MC: I feel so happy today that I can eat a whole bowl of rice~

Victor: Who just told me yesterday that she wanted to lose weight?

[Note: Victor says “尾巴翘上天” which literally translates to “tail raised to the sky”. It refers to extreme arrogance]

Victor’s Post: Someone who rarely wins has just won a game, and her tail is raised to the sky.

MC: Let’s compete in a different sport next time!

Victor: ...put such a heart of victory and defeat into your work more often.

Victor’s Post: Someone who rarely wins has just won a game, and her tail is raised to the sky.

MC: Being able to win against you can be recorded as one of my life’s grandest achievements!

Victor: A dummy is truly easy to please.

#mlqc cn #mlqc spoilers #mlqc victor #soft victor #mlqc

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artificialqueens · 3 years

Text

These People in This Room (Don't Shine Like You) (Diamond Chaney) - Ortega

summary: Lawrence has just been crowned the winner of RuPaul’s Drag Race UK, and Ellie is right beside her. Just like she’s always been.

a/n: omg HIIIIII! here’s my entry to the fic challenge (will it be my only one? who can say). in a shocking turn of events this is not a drabble asdfghjk but would we have expected anything concise from me? this fic was inspired by Shine and Starstruck, both by Years and Years. they are very diamond chaney songs so pls do give them a little listen for full effect! standard procedure, she/her pronouns bc they’re in drag, u know the drill. this has taken me entirely too long to write but pls enjoy some diamond chaney from the night of the crowning! (pls also collectively pretend they had an actual dancefloor to celebrate on and not just a hotel room bc i had already started writing at the point Ellie posted her BTS. fic is just one big serving of pretend anyway xo)

***

It’s somewhere around midnight, the sun has set on Thursday and Friday has crept in, and Lawrence is sitting in a booth with the dancefloor flashing bright colours in front of her, only just daring to believe that this is her actual life.

There is not a single moment that seems real. Even being one of the top four took her essentially since filming stopped to come to terms with. But hearing her name being read out, hearing the other girls cheer for her and being able to do nothing but stare at the screen in disbelief with her hands over her mouth and sob like a baby…that’s not sunk in yet. Maybe it never will. She’s still feeling the after-effects from the way the shock and euphoria had kicked seven shades of shit out of her pulse, the way the serotonin had crashed over her like a wave and the absolute unbridled lack of control she’d had over any of her emotions.

When the cameras had been cut off and they’d been given the all-clear from the producers that they could hug each other, Lawrence had only managed to stand up from the chair, still in floods of tears as Bimini bundled their arms around her, Tayce had jostled them all with the way she’d jumped up and down and yelled in delight, and Ellie had looped her arms around her neck and murmured into her shoulder, words Lawrence couldn’t hear but felt the love from regardless.

It had to be Ellie, really, that crowned her. It was a full-circle moment. She still remembers the night they met for the first time; Dundee in 2016, some time in the early hours of the morning (she’d probably called it ‘bastard o’clock’ or something similar), coming out of the bar and being stopped by a boy in half-drag similar ages with her who spoke rapidly and excitedly and told her that he’d messaged her about starting drag and she’d replied to him. The way realisation had dawned on her and the way she’d been her usual loud and boisterous self to cover up the fact she’d actually been quite bashful about the fact they were meeting for the first time.

There was no alternative, not least because of everything they’ve been through together; the years leading up to this moment and the rollercoaster it’s all been. She’s glad that they’re on a high because they’ve seen each other at their lows (been the cause of each others’ too, sometimes) and pulled through only slightly scathed, but always stronger. The producer had asked Lawrence who she’d wanted and when she, still speechless, had pointed in Ellie’s direction, seeing the tears start to stream down her face had only made Lawrence’s start all over again. They’d hugged- just the two of them this time- and the way Ellie had immediately felt like a safe place in the crazy chaos of reality reminded Lawrence so much of when they had filmed. The way even just hearing Ellie’s voice would stop her feeling homesick, the way she was a living comfort blanket.

She’d never tell that to Ellie, of course, because she’d never hear the end of it if she did.

It’s been a couple of hours and Lawrence is expecting everything to suddenly sink in any minute now. Something will click like the last piece of a puzzle and she’ll finally accept that she’s won, that the whole thing isn’t a giant and premature April fools’ prank. She turns her phone over in her hand, wondering what all this nervous energy is doing to her body chemistry. She’s got messages from her family, her friends, Kiko, the girls she works with back home. Well…some of them. But apart from reading them and frantically replying, Lawrence hasn’t checked anything else; hasn’t opened Twitter or Instagram, where the notifications are piling up like pizza leaflets through a letterbox and are equally as unwanted. If she thinks about them she can feel her stomach twist, wrung out like a wet towel.

Forty thousand likes. The Team Bimini tweet had forty thousand likes. What did her own get? Eight thousand? Lawrence thinks about the sheer scale of forty thousand people, compares it to the population of towns in Scotland. Almost Airdrie. Just under Coatbridge. She imagines a whole town of people, angry and furious and disappointed, and all of them tweeting her to let her know exactly that. She remembers in high school when she thought the whole of Hermitage was against her. She wants to tell baby Lawrence that that was fucking small fry. A thousand kids? Try the sheer scale of Bimini’s fanbase. Her breath is shaky when she tries to breathe in, like her lungs have reduced in size. It reminds her of that time in school camp when they all had to jump from a pier for some unknown-fucking-reason, how freezing the water had been and how her chest felt tight as she gasped for air. Lawrence supposes it was character building in the sense that it prepared her exactly for how anxiety would make her feel later in life.

In for four. Hold for five. Out for six.

“There she is!”

An ever so slightly slurred and wobbly voice breaks Lawrence’s reverie, and when she looks up she sees Ellie approaching her, a little unsteady even in the flats she’s changed into with a glass of prosecco in each hand. It says a lot that even at the top of a helter-skelter of an anxiety spiral, Lawrence’s heart still gives a little swell when she sees her friend. Ellie has always been able to make her feel better. She feels an almost silly sense of relief that she’s here.

Lawrence takes one last little breath in before plastering a small smile to her face. “Awrite? Where’s Mumma Diamond?”

“In her room conked out. Just got back from putting her to bed, she couldn’t hack it. Letting down the family name, that one,” Ellie huffs, sliding into the booth and squashing up right beside Lawrence, even though there’s enough space for two metres distance even if they had still been under strict instructions from the BBC.

“Tayce?” Lawrence asks, gratefully accepting the prosecco glass and hurriedly downing a too-big gulp in an attempt to calm herself down.

“Facetiming A’whora. Of course.”

“Of course. Maybe a bottle and a half of prosecco is gonny be the love potion she never knew she needed.”

“Fuck, we can only hope,” Ellie grins, already laughing through her words. “If we’re gonna be touring with them I don’t wanna have to karate chop through five layers of sexual tension every time I have to walk past them.”

Lawrence chuckles, tired but humoured and unable to not make the so-obvious joke. “You couldny fight sleep.”

“Shut the fuck up, I’ll fight you in a minute!” Ellie nudges her with her shoulder and spills both of their prosecco from the glasses in their hands. The gesture is affectionate and out of place with the impending threat. “Where’s Bims? Thought they were with you.”

Lawrence shrugs. “Went out for a smoke with one of the runners about twenty minutes ago and never returned.”

“Good for them. Always thought there’s something inherently sexy about a winch in a back alley.”

“Well, you would know.”

“Eh, so would you!” Ellie cries, nothing short of incredulously offended. Her expression makes her look even more like a cartoon character than usual, and it’s entirely too endearing.

“Yeah, forgot that popular phrase. It takes two to winch in a back alley,” Lawrence jokes, but her heart isn’t in it. It’s too heavy and her ribcage feels like someone laced her into a corset and pulled it too tight. She’s hoping Ellie is too drunk to notice.

Ellie sips her prosecco with her eyes on her, then scrutinises her as she swallows it. She frowns, her nose wrinkling up as she prods Lawrence with an acrylic-nail finger. “What’s up?”

Fuck.

“The sky,” Lawrence says without conviction, and the raised eyebrow Ellie gives her in return is enough to unlock her. She deflates like a balloon and brings her phone up so Ellie can see it, turning it over in her hands. “Just…as happy as I am, and as much as this is all a dream come true…I keep psyching myself up to open any social media, and I can’t, because this one fucking brain cell of anxiety keeps telling me that everyone out there hates me and hates the fact I’ve won.”

Ellie’s face falls into a frown. She gently pries the phone out of her hands and places it on the table, takes one of Lawrence’s free hands in hers and rubs her thumb over her knuckles. “But all your other brain cells know that’s wrong.”

Lawrence sighs. “So why’s that one louder than all the rest?”

Ellie presses her lips together in a badly-suppressed smile. She’s giggling as she speaks. “Because you’ve only got two brain cells.”

Lawrence splutters a laugh, shoving Ellie with her free hand. The other is still laced together with hers. As the laughter dies down and the momentary serotonin wears off, Lawrence can feel her brow furrowing involuntarily. “Forty thousand people wanted Bimini to win, Ellie. Forty thousand. You know that’s like a whole town? That’s like the population of Coatbridge?”

“ Fuck Coatbridge!” Ellie exclaims, affronted, and her shock and insistence makes Lawrence snort all over again. “Okay, forty thousand people is a town but really, what’s that to the rest of the world? Think how tiny that is in the grand scheme of things, Lawrence! Honestly, give a fuck about what any bastard who wants to send you anything vile thinks of you! You’re so amazing! You won! Fuck everyone else!”

Lawrence wants to feel cheered up. The prosecco Ellie’s drunk is making her all the more animated and lively, giving her words a determination and a passion that her speech so rarely possesses most of the time. Ellie is calm, and she doesn’t get wound up easily. There’s something about the fact she’s growing this animated over getting Lawrence to believe in herself that warms her heart a little.

Then again…

“It’s not just that, though. There’s girls from home that haven’t even said well done. Girls I’ve always supported and couldn’t do enough for, and it’s like…really? You can’t be happy for me when I’ve actually managed to do the one thing I’ve wanted to do for years?”

“Well maybe they have said well done, and you’ve just not seen it because you’ve been hiding,” Ellie gestures matter-of-factly at her phone. It doesn’t convince her.

“They won’t have. You’ll know who I’m talking about, Ellie.”

Ellie sighs a little, clearly conceding that Lawrence is right. Her grip on her hand tightens a little, and when Lawrence looks up at her in response her blue eyes hold a glint of assurance.

“Well, even if they haven’t…fuck ‘em. Onwards and upwards, chick. You’ve got ten new sisters out of this who’re always going to know what it’s like, they’re gonna be here for you no matter what,” Ellie says comfortingly. Lawrence knows why she’s said ten and not eleven, but Ellie affirms this with another squeeze and a slightly shy smile. “And you’ve always got me. You’ve always had me.”

This is true. She’s always had Ellie. Before the show, doing gigs with her and hanging out with her and going to DragCon with her. On the show, always there to reassure her or pull her out of a negative spiral or just lean against her shoulder and squeeze her hand. And after the show. Whatever that might look like. Whatever that might be.

She supposes that neither of them know yet.

“C’mon,” Ellie says decisively, holding out a hand for her as the song changes. It’s some sort of Paolo Nutini dirge, and Lawrence has to laugh at how obviously whoever is in charge of the music has rushed to attempt to find something Scottish. Lawrence can only blink at Ellie’s outstretched hand.

“Oh, fuck off.”

“Come on! ” Ellie laughs. Lawrence doesn’t know if she’s blushing or if it’s just the lights.

But she does know that she can’t leave Ellie hanging when she’s looking at her like that.

So Lawrence lets herself be dragged out to the dancefloor and pulled into a hug as Ellie sways them left to right ever-so-slightly out of time with the song, tipsy and full of affection given the way her arms are locked around Lawrence’s waist. It should feel stranger than it does. In reality, being held by Ellie feels as simple as just existing.

Or perhaps simpler than that, given the fact that Lawrence’s existence feels entirely surreal right now.

“You have to be in drag for half past se-ven,” Ellie sing-songs, bringing one of her arms out from around Lawrence’s waist and tapping her on the nose. Lawrence immediately misses it, so it’s a relief that it’s not gone for long.

“Because I wo-on,” Lawrence imitates back to her, and the way Ellie squeezes her waist in response and affirmation causes a smile and a blush to bloom on her face without her even being to control it. She rests her head against Ellie’s chest so she can’t have the satisfaction (ammunition) of seeing how she makes her feel.

It’s little moments like that that she needs right now. Anchors to keep her down on earth, to let her know that this isn’t just some really prolonged lucid dream and it’s all actually happening because currently reality is so absurdly ridiculous; she’s just won Drag Race and she’s slow-dancing with Ellie to the song that’s blasting through the speakers in the background, a parody of some American high school prom where she’s just been crowned the queen.

Moments like these- where Ellie’s holding her close as if she’s literally trying to protect her from the world- remind her that not everybody is against her. Not everybody hates her. Not everybody is wishing her a slow and painful death because Bimini didn’t win, least of all them. She knows that Ellie was never able to share what team she was on even though she hadn’t had a chance at the crown, but she didn’t have to. Not really. They’ve always been on each others’ team.

Ellie jolts Lawrence out of her daydream with the way her chest is shuddering, and Lawrence momentarily thinks she’s crying again before her soft giggle becomes audible over the music.

“What?” Lawrence tilts her head up, meeting Ellie’s scheming, smirking face.

“Can’t believe RuPaul Charles asked if you wanted to move to London, city of dreams, city of a thousand opportunities…” Ellie begins, Lawrence already laughing as she knows what the conclusion to her sentence will be. “…and you said, ‘yer awrite pal, am fine in Glesga wi the jakes an’ the Blue Lagoon chippy an’ the guy that stands on Buchanan Street and yells at everyone that they’re going to hell!’ ”

Lawrence would normally roll her eyes at Ellie’s impersonation of her accent, but she’s laughing too much at the joke that’s forming in her head to commit to it. “RuPaul asked if I wanted to move to London, and I said…”

The pair of them are almost giggling too much to get the punchline out, Ellie clocking on to how it’s going to end. In sync, the pair of them splutter out a “… NNNNAAW! ”

Giddy and happy, Lawrence rests her cheek against Ellie’s chest again. “London’s got junkies too, anyway.”

“This is gonna sound really selfish, but…don’t actually move to London,” Ellie’s voice murmurs from above her, and there’s something plaintive to it that makes Lawrence refrain from replying with a joke or a barb like she normally would. The way Ellie follows it up cements that fact. “It would probably be so good for you, but like…Glasgow would be lost without you, genuinely. And so would I.”

Lawrence can’t cry again tonight, even if it’s only because she thinks it’s physically impossible, so she just squeezes Ellie tight until she worries about her ability to breathe. “I’m not going anywhere, hen.”

Lawrence doesn’t even really know what they are, her and Ellie. They both still have Grindr and they talk about their hookups and raised hopes and broken hearts with each other like friends. But they’re not really just that. They’re affectionate, and they open up to each other with the same shared unspoken understanding of something Lawrence doesn’t understand. They hug for too long and cuddle up to each other when they’re together, and Lawrence can’t count the amount of times during filming that she’d find strength in the way Ellie would squeeze her hand without a word. They’ve woken up together too many times (why she’d felt the need to remind Ellie of that while the cameras were rolling, she’ll never know) and kissed each other more than that. Every time they say I love you they mean it, but they also mean a little bit more. There’s no butterflies or fast pulses or fluttering hearts- they’re past that stage. Everything is just natural and normal and easy.

She wonders if they’ll ever put a label on what they have. There’s a part of her that doesn’t ever want to.

“If we’re both still single by the time we’re forty,” Lawrence begins, leaning back to look at Ellie through her glazed, half-drunk half-tired eyes. “…we should just say ‘fuck it’ and get married.”

(She doesn’t even know if it’s a joke or not.)

Ellie laughs as if it is and nods as if it isn’t. “Drag wedding. We’d need to upstage Tayce and A’whora, though.”

Lawrence realises something. “I’ll turn forty two years before you.”

There’s a pause as the song starts to fade out, and it makes Ellie’s murmur seem louder than it is. “That’s okay. We don’t need to wait for me.”

The jolt her words give Lawrence’s heart and the way Ellie’s talking as if it’s an actual plan makes her think maybe it wasn’t really ever a joke after all. It’s ridiculous though, and it’s all theoretical, and it’s a totally hypothetical scenario, and they’re both drunk , for Christ’s sake. So Lawrence pulls out of Ellie’s arms and takes her hands in her own, the song that’s started playing more upbeat and the opening chords inciting some sort of hope and optimism in her heart for the future that’s unfolding for the pair of them.

“One more song then bed?” she suggests. Ellie raises her eyebrows as she looks down at her.

“Whose bed?”

“Shut the fuck up, Dirty Diamond,” Lawrence shoots back without missing a beat, and as the first lines of the song fill the room she leans back and begins to spin the pair of them in a circle, both of them laughing as if everything is as simple as just that room, and the music blaring out from the speakers, and the lights flashing above them drenching them in purple and pink.

#rpdr fanfiction #rpdr uk #ellie diamond #lawrence chaney #ellie x lawrence #fic challenge #rare pair #uk2 #canon compliant #fluff #ortega #these people in this room (don’t shine like you)

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coping-via-clint-eastwood · 3 years

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Finally - Will Riker x Reader

(A/N: A short fic that I’m writing all in one because I’m tired. I have a heavier fic that I should be working on but eh... This is a comfort fic. And anyways, I need inspiration to write. Idk how many of you will like this, but here we are. This is actually my first Will fic, first TNG fic, second Trek fic (the other one was AOS!Leonard McCoy). And this is the first fic that I’m writing on Tumblr and posting straightaway instead of copying and pasting from somewhere else. Warning: horrible paragraphing, probably a lot of sentence structure errors, amongst other mistakes. OP, I hope you don’t mind me writing this based on your photo.

Edit: this is the last time I am writing on Tumblr first. Because, while I can copy from Wattpad and paste to Tumblr with no problem, this function sucks ass the other way around.

So yeah, I just copied and pasted this to a post of its own, so that I could put my fic tag here. Op’s photo is still linked up there.)

Will finally dragged his feet up to and opened the door of your shared quarters, his hand slamming heavily on the keypad as he practically threw his entirely body’s mass against the wall for support. He had had to take extra hours, because of a lack of crew members - the poor things were all in med bay. Beverly had had to work overtime too, but not as much as him. Once they were stable enough to consume sedatives, she had given them such and gone to sleep herself. Jean-Luc had offered to take half of the shift, but Will had refused, firmly holding his ground on the fact that the captain was still an elder man, and needed more rest. Just one of the little things that you loved about Will. He stumbled past the doorway, and it closed smoothly behind him, in contrast to his own movements. Too drained to bother with anything else, he tugged off his uniform, leaving him in his boxers, and leaving the clothes strewn carelessly on the ground. He slogged to the foot of the bed and stopped when his legs were directly touching it, its height coming up to a hand’s span below his knees. He let himself fall forwards, heavily, like a strong tree falling onto the forest floor upon being sawed through. The vibrations from the impact did not really do anything to wake you up - not because they had no effect on you at all, but because you had only been sleeping lightly without him. His thump only made you that little bit more alert. “Will,” you whined, begged, prayed, relieved that he was finally back with you.

He turned his head, which had previously been face down in his- no, your pillow, because you were sleeping on his side of the bed, quickly to face you. “You’re not asleep yet?” he breathed, too sleepy for his voice to attain any greater volume.

“Can’t sleep without you...” you whined, scooting towards him and pulling him close. He just let you pull him as you, knowing full well that what you said was true - you literally. Were unable to fall asleep without the comfort of his presence and contact. Falling asleep with him was something you had gotten used to very early on in your relationship, and when that was taken away and changed the circumstances of your sleeping situation, you could not sleep. You let him scoot under the covers, then held him close to your chest, burying your nose in his hair. You moved to lay down on your back, so he was directly on top of you.

“You sure you’re comfortable like that?” he asked, his voice short of no amount of surprise. At least, as much as his sleepiness would allow. Because, up until this point, your sleeping position had always been the other way around. Again, Will could sleep anyhow, as long as he was with you, but you required very specific conditions to sleep.

“Just let me hold you...” you yawned, then buried your nose back in his hair. He smiled and nestled his head on your chest, settling his ear over your heart, glad that he got to fall asleep to the sound of its beat for a change.

#will riker x reader #will riker #jonathan frakes #star trek tng #tng #star trek #c-v-c-e fic

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ratnumber21 · 4 years

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Mabel is Bi Headcanon

She started questioning her sexuality sometime during her boy crazy phase

She brushed it off as her hormones acting up and all that jazz

Until she couldn't keep her eyes off of the new (female) lifeguard at the pool one day post-boy crazy phase

Mabel didn't know what to think

She was afraid to tell Dipper in fear of him judging her

I mean, she makes fun of her brother all the time, who's to say he won't use her sexuality as an opportunity to get back at her, right?

She pretended to have another boy crazy phase as an attempt to push away those feelings

The more she pushed them away, the more she realized she wasn't as fully attracted to guys as she thought

She began getting all fidgety whenever a girl was within a 10-foot radius of her

One time when she and Dipper were helping Soos out in the gift shop, a girl around their age approached Mabel asking if there was another t-shirt in her size

Mabel froze on the spot

The girl tried asking if she was okay, but Mabel turned into a babbly mess and was unable to answer

The girl grew uncomfortable and walked away

Dipper saw the whole thing

Dipper: "Haha, you acted like I normally do whenever a pretty girl talks to me.”

Mabel, internally: Oh boy...

She was afraid of what this meant

She knew everyone in Gravity Falls was very supportive

But what about back at home?

The kids at school picked on Dipper simply for having a unique birthmark

Imagine what they would do if they found out that Mabel wasn't totally straight

Mabel couldn't sleep one night due to her overthinking the possible scenarios of telling her friends and family about her dilemma

"What would Dipper say?" "What if he tells Stan?" "What if he tells Mom and Dad?" "Would they disown me?" "What would Candy and Grenda say?" "Oh god" "I can't lose Candy and Grenda, they're my people!" "And what about Waddles?!"

She became overwhelmed and realized she needed to get this off her chest

Dipper was already off the table

And she was afraid Stan would be disappointed in her

And everyone else she knew was asleep

Except for one

Ford heard his niece coming before she burst through the elevator door, breathing heavily and tears streaking down her face

He ended up holding her while he walked around the basement, telling her soothing things and stroking her hair while she tried to steady her breathing

All while saying things like "they're gonna hate me!" and "they'll think I'm a freak!"

Once Mabel calmed down, she quietly asked her great uncle "What if I'm not entirely into boys?"

Ford dreaded a question like that

It's not that he didn't want to answer, he just hasn't been in this dimension for 30 years

He didn't know how much sexuality and gender identity had evolved since the 80s, and he never found the time to do research on it since he came back

He was just worried he wouldn't be able to guide his niece

He asked Mabel to elaborate and the story came pouring out

How she began looking at girls differently, how she acted like her brother whenever he was around pretty girls, and her fears of not being accepted by her family

Ford (who was thankful that he knew enough about the subject to be able to provide Mabel with solid advice) began by saying it's perfectly natural for her to question her sexuality

This started a whole conversation of Ford and Mabel exploring her possible sexuality

Ford then explained bisexuality

"But how come I like guys so much if I'm bi? Does this mean I might actually be straight?"

"No, you just have a larger preference for guys. Bisexuality is almost never 50/50. Some people think they're straight or gay because they like one gender so much they can forget they like another one as well."

"What if people don't react well when I tell them I'm bi after making it very clear that I was straight for the past few years?"

"You don't owe anyone an explanation. Your sexuality is your business and no one else's, okay?"

"But what if I'm not actually bi? What if I really am just confused?"

"There's no rush to figure out your sexuality now. You have your whole life ahead of you, sweetie. And you don't have to be so quick to label yourself. When you finally find the label that suits you, you'll know."

Ford also revealed that he, too, had struggled with his sexuality before ultimately concluding that he identifies as aromantic

Mabel is not surprised whatsoever

By the end of their talk, it’s past midnight and Mabel is more relieved than she’s ever been before

Ford is honored that Mabel trusted him enough to go to him for guidance for such a personal topic

He’s also happy that he got to spend more bonding time with his niece since he typically spends most of his time with either Dipper or Stan

Ford is about to send Mabel to bed when she confesses that she’s still a bit anxious that the rest of her family won’t accept her

Ford reassures her that they will before carrying Mable to her room himself

After tucking her in and turning to leave, Mabel whispers “Thanks for letting me talk to you Grunkle Ford”

Ford smiles and kisses his great-niece goodnight

The next morning, Mabel goes straight to Ford’s room just as he’s waking up to tell him she stayed up all night thinking about the things he taught her

She thinks she’s bi and she wants to tell Dipper and Stan

Ford is beyond proud of her (although he tells her to wait a few days just in case she isn’t quite sure yet)

Mabel comes out to Dipper and Stan as bisexual a few days later

Dipper is 100% supportive of his sister

Stan needed some explaining (he knew that bisexuality was a thing, he just didn’t realize there was a fancy name for it) but her supports her nonetheless

“Eh, as long as you’re happy and the person you’re with treats you right, I don’t care who you bring home. And as long as you wait until you’re at least 30 to bring said person home.”

Mabel said no promises

Bonus:

The Pines family was at Greasy's Diner to celebrate Mabel's coming to terms with her sexuality

They were getting ready to leave when Dipper and Mabel left to use the bathroom, leaving Stan and Ford alone at their table

Stan piped up saying that it was "interesting how easy it seems to be to figure this sorta stuff out these days"

Ford agrees but is unsure where this is going

Stan continues saying how if teens are struggling with something personal, the internet (and people on the internet going through the same) is right there to help them

"Heh, too bad we didn't have those things when we were teenagers huh Sixer?"

Ford is confused and Stan is suddenly tense and awkward

He explains he's never felt that kind of attraction towards anyone

He was always interested in getting a girlfriend, but he never really intended on going beyond kissing/possibly making out

Ford's eyes lit up and he immediately exclaimed: "WE'RE BOTH ACE SPECS!"

"WE'RE BOTH A-WHATS?!"

Ford explained that there was a spectrum that included different sexualities regarding the lack of sexual/romantic attraction

(for the record, Ford took time to do more research since his conversation with Mabel so he's pretty much an expert on sexuality and gender identity now)

He asks Stan how long he's felt this way

Stan says since high school

Ford asks why he didn't tell him

Stan reveals that he assumed he wasn't done with puberty yet/he didn't want Ford to think that there's something wrong with him

He also didn't want to disappoint their father "more than he already had"

Ford says that he would've accepted him no matter what

"Besides, if Dad ever did find out, he would've been disappointed in the both of us."

"Huh?"

"Like I said before, we're both on the Ace Spectrum. Only instead of lacking sexual attraction like you, I lack romantic attraction."

"Sooo what does that make the two of us?"

"Well, by the looks of it, it seems that you're some form of asexual and I'm aromantic."

"Some form of it??"

"Well, yes. You see, asexual can serve as an umbrella term. There's also gray asexual, demisexual-"

Stan thinks he's going to have a stroke

Ford promises him that they'll look more into it tomorrow

**Please be aware that I am not bisexual/asexual/aromantic so if I got something wrong PLEASE tell me and I'll correct it**

Hope you enjoyed! (If anyone makes a short fic out of this pls be sure to tag me (I want to write one myself, but I don't think I have time))

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jootsmcgoots · 4 years

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MBC Selfshipping Prompts #1: First Dates (Risotto Nero)

WOO BOY so Haley started a weekly Selfship Prompt event over at MBC, and I wanted to write it out! And so I did.

Mind you, this uses my self-insert, Niko, so it’s going to be using that name and female pronouns. This work got away from me, so it ended up being 2422 words (even when I meant for this to be less than 2k words......lmaooo...)

I will get around to posting my reader inserts soon, but not yet LOL I’ll get around to it when I get around to it. This blog is still very much a WIP because I still need to re-reblog a LOT of content from the old blog.

But for now, this is what I’m writing and I wanted to post it up. I may write another for Mista, but we’ll see (ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

So as the title implies, this is the first of the prompts, and it’s “First Dates”.

Niko let out a yawn as she sleepily looked out at the busy street. Her eyes scanned the droves of people walking around, trying to scope out her target. Dark eyes blinked as she studied the faces of men nearing her, trying to determine if they were the one she was looking for. When they passed by her, she shrugged internally.

Her phone’s clock read 10:47 AM. She knew they agreed to meet around 11, but it never hurt to be early. “And anyways, better to be early than late, right? Right.” She still couldn’t help getting bored easily, and the anxiety and tension building in her chest continued to rise as the seconds passed.

“Calm down, calm down,” she thought to herself, “It’s just a date; you’ve been on dates before! Just treat it like you’re just hanging out with a friend.” Niko let out the breath she was holding and took her phone out, idly browsing it in order to distract herself. “Plus, it’s Mimi’s brother. There’s no way he’d be the bad kind of sort. She wouldn’t set us up if she thought we weren’t going to get along.”

Still, she had to admit she was surprised when her friend made the suggestion and arrangements. Niko recalled as her friend more or less pushed the aquarium tickets into her hand and snatched her phone to punch in her brother’s contact info.

“It’ll be nice, I promise! He’s a really great guy, and I think you two will hit it off!” Mimi flashed the smaller woman a grin. “Plus, he needs to get out more often.”

Niko’s mouth formed a slight line as she remembered how she had asked her friend for a photo of her date, but Mimi’s grin only grew with amusement.

“Oh, don’t worry about that! You’ll know when you see him.”

A noise of annoyance escaped Niko’s throat. “Dude, what does that even mean?” Her brow creased as she tried to think on what that could have meant, but quickly gave up, deciding it was too much effort. Her eyes absentmindedly left her phone screen to scope out her surroundings again.

Except her eyes bugged out as they fell on a large, foreboding man in dark clothing who towered over most if not all of the other people walking along. Whether by his size or presence, people seemed to naturally get out of his way as he continued making his way down the street. Everything about him exuded a quiet kind of power, from the way he walked, his stern expression, his hulking, muscular frame…

Though she remained completely stock-still, Niko shook her head inwardly. “No, no, maybe it’s not him! Maybe it’s just your regular, big, muscular, scary-lookin’ dude with fucking black sclera and red eyes, just walkin’ down the street for a stroll! All decked out in black and has the kinda expression that says, ‘hey so if you piss me off, I’m going to rip your limbs off’! Totally normal! Yeah! Hahaha!”

However, despite the thousands of thoughts going through her head at miles a minute, Niko knew. Now she understood what Mimi had meant by “You’ll know.” When the man stopped in front of her, it was undeniable that this man was indeed her date.

She could feel red eyes roving over her, studying her. If looks could kill, Niko felt like she would have been smote where she stood from the intensity of his stare alone.

Risotto’s unblinking crimson stare studied the woman before him. She certainly matched the picture and profile his sister had given him. Petite and girlish stature, short black hair that swept to the right, glasses, gold studs in her lobes, everything matched. He noted how she was sporting a mint green frog backpack, just like she’d specified she would so that he could recognize her easier. How thoughtful of her to suggest that in the first place. He couldn’t deny that he appreciated the consideration.

He was an observant man and was well-aware of his perception skills. After all, it was an invaluable skill in his line of work. However even without his sharp senses, there was no missing the look of surprise, awe, and slight fear in his date’s flabbergasted visage. Her eyes were wide, brows raised to the sky and jaw slack, lips seeming to form the beginnings of “Oh my god.”

Risotto let out a nearly imperceptible huff of amusement. His sister was right; this woman’s face hid nothing. He couldn’t help but smile a little at that candidness.

Introductions were short and awkward, but they served their purposes. Once acquainted, the pair could proceed with their date. Their itinerary was rather basic, just go to an aquarium and get some food together. Simple enough.

However, conversation was rather sparse as they made their way to their destination. Without any prior knowledge or known common ground, Niko was unsure of what to talk about, and Risotto was a taciturn individual by nature.

He didn’t dislike the small talk that she was trying to make, asking him things like what he did, what his hobbies were, but it required him to think carefully about his responses. It wasn’t exactly appropriate to vent about how little you were being paid to kill people on a first date.

What were you even supposed to talk about on a first meeting like this anyways? It had been far too long since he had tried connecting with someone new, let alone someone not affiliated with Passione. Though Risotto’s face remained as placid as ever, worry and nerves began bubbling beneath the surface as he picked up on the traces of worry and discomfort on his date’s face, and he wracked his brain for more to say.

He wasn’t alone, though; Niko hardly ever met people like this, usually having some common ground with new conversational partners. Here, she had absolutely no idea. Inwardly, she cursed Mimi for putting them in this awkward situation, wishing a thousand poxes on her friend’s house.

=====

“Eh? You set them up on a date?”

“Yup!” Mimi replied cheerily.

“And it’s a blind date, you said? And she doesn’t know what he looks like?”

Mimi hummed an affirmative as she snuggled up against her boyfriend’s shoulder, black nails clacking against her phone screen as she browsed. Though Kakyoin’s eyes hadn’t left the screen and he had continued dutifully chaining combos, his brows raised in surprise as he made a considering noise.

“Oh dear. She’s in for quite the surprise then.” As the victory logo flashed on screen, he leaned down and planted a kiss on her forehead and smiled warmly at Mimi.

“That’s evil. I love it.”

=====

Arriving to the aquarium was a relief and a salvation to Niko. At least now they could busy themselves with an activity, and that would give them something to do together. Slowly, their conversation became less stiff and stilted, as Niko began prattling off about the various exhibits they toured together. Bit by bit, she continued to come out of her shell as she pulled him from room to room, and by noontime she was babbling nonstop about the penguin feeding exhibit they had just been at.

“…and god, they were just so damned cute!” Her eyes glittered at the memory. “Fun fact, did you know that there was this one penguin that fell in love with an anime character? I’m not kidding!” Niko nodded as Risotto tilted his head at that statement. “Yeah, yeah! His name was Grape-kun and he uh…” Her words petered out, and her expression turned sheepish.

Risotto raised a brow, unsure of why she stopped. “Is something wrong?”

Niko fidgeted in silence for a moment before answering. “I…I just kinda realized that I’ve been dragging you from place to place, and I’ve just been rambling non-stop. It’s – it’s not that…it’s okay if you’re just not one for talking. I totally get that!” she said, waving her hands in front of her before wringing them worriedly. “I just wanna make sure you’re having fun too. Like, I just hope I’m not talking over you or only doing the things I wanna do, y’know?”

She looked up at him to meet his stare. Embarrassment was racking up by the second, and as she was going to open her mouth, he spoke.

“I’ve been enjoying myself.”

Relief flooded her senses. Niko smiled at him as she registered his words, her expression relaxing into something much brighter. He couldn’t help but mirror the expression, even though the corners of his mouth had barely turned upwards.

She clapped her hands together as a thought seemed to dawn on her.

“I know! Was there anything in particular that you wanted to do? Anything here that you were looking forward to?”

At that, Risotto’s eyes widened just the tiniest bit, but Niko had caught it. “There is, isn’t there?” she probed with a mischievous grin. “C’mon, tell me! I’m sure it’ll be nice.”

He averted his eyes, and she chuckled good-naturedly at his sudden shyness. “C’mooon, tell me! We already came all the way out here, so if there was something you wanted to do, let’s go and do it!”

No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t turn away from her expression, bright and shining like the sun, with no escape. Risotto let out a mumble, still unable to look her directly in the eye.

“Mm? What was that?” Niko tilted her ear towards him.

“…the manta rays.” He repeated himself, barely louder.

She made the connection in seconds. “Oh! The petting pool with the manta rays!” Niko threw him a grin as he nodded. “Yeah, I gotcha! Let’s go!” And at that, she immediately set off before stopping short and looking behind her, waiting for him. “Come on! It gets really crowded, so let’s head on over.”

The petting pool was a popular exhibit, and it was already full of people, children and adults alike, all fawning over the adorable manta rays that practically jumped out of the water for a petting. Though his face remained as stony as ever, the sparkles in Risotto’s eyes exposed his excitement as the sounds of splashing drew nearer and nearer.

Niko let out a giggle. How cute.

However, he just stood there, staring out at the pool that was so close yet so far. Maybe he felt put off by the number of people there.

Taking matters into her own hands, Niko tried to lead them closer to the pool, but found that the droves of people who were already there difficult to navigate. She managed to bypass a few of them, but soon found it hard to actually get near the exhibit. Her lips curled to the side in annoyance as she tried to think about how to get to the exhibit.

Then, she felt someone take her hand. Niko looked up in surprise to see Risotto by her side, taking her hand gently as he began to wade through the crowd with her in tow, people parting as a hulking 6’8” man strode over to the manta ray pool. No one there decided that it was worth getting in his way, especially as he occasionally let out quiet, polite “excuse me, pardon me”s as he made his way over.

As Niko followed him through the crowd, she had a thought. Throughout the date, he hadn’t tried to make contact with her at all. Now that she thought about it, he had kept a respectful distance from her the entire time.

She let that fact wash over her as they approached the pool. Manta rays were swimming serenely through the clear water, occasionally breaking the surface of the water, excited for more pets.

Risotto had already dipped his hands into the cold water, gently stroking the creature as it passed by. A soft smile graced his features, dimples forming on his cheeks.

The sight was something Niko wanted to commit to memory.

Noticing that she had yet to join him, he removed his hand from the pool to look at his date. What he was met with was a soft, nearly reverent look on her face, dust blushing her cheeks. Upon realizing that he was looking directly at her, Niko gave him an awkward grin, hastily kneeling down with him to start babbling about how cute the rays were.

“…sorry.”

That cut her ramble short. “Huh? About what?”

“I should have asked first.”

His heart was thrumming in his chest as he searched her expression for any change. She looked confused for the barest of seconds before realization lit her features.

“Oh. Oh! That!” Niko quickly took her hand out of the pool, but thought better of shaking her hands in front of her like she usually did. “No, no – don’t worry about that!” She laughed, the sound causing a tentative warmth to blossom in his chest. “I really didn’t mind. It was…it was nice.” She emphasized her point with a shy but honest smile that caused the warmth in his chest to go into full bloom.

His eyes softened at her gentle expression, the soft look on her face looking like the most natural thing in the world. Risotto grunted an affirmative, finding words to be difficult.

As they walked away from the petting pool and dried off their hands, Niko spoke up.

“You know…to be honest, I wasn’t so sure about this. It’s been awhile since I’ve gone on a date, and this was my first blind date. I was ready to kill Mimi!” she admitted with a laugh, miming strangling motions. “No offense.”

“None taken.” His chuckle was nearly inaudible, but she didn’t miss the amusement in his voice.

Her smile grew wide, toothy and easy. “But this was nice. Real nice.”

“It was.” Risotto returned the smile, however subtle the change in his expression was. “I’ll admit this was…an experience. But I enjoyed it.”

At that, Niko laughed lightly and reached out to take his hand. Risotto noted the hesitation in her actions, the pause lasting no longer than a second. But in the end, he could feel his hand in hers, warm and comforting, like that was where it belonged.

He smiled at the feeling.

“Let’s go get lunch?” she asked, tilting her head at him.

His hand tightened around hers, just so.

“Let’s.”

As they walked towards their destination, they discussed restaurants, going over their options and bantering all the way there, the sound of her laughter echoing down the street.

#my self insert #Niko #self insert #self insert prompts #first dates #Risotto Nero #Vento Aureo #jojo's bizarre adventure #jjba #modern AU #aquariums #my writing #SFW #fluff #fluffy #risotto x niko

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lynneshobbydomain · 4 years

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Gundham. And Kokichi. And ferrets. This isn't a shipping ask, but a scene with them seems interesting.

(Hey Anon so sorry for the long wait! I hope that you enjoy this! I haven’t played SDR2 in a while so it took me a bit to see if i could get Gundham’s character down. I hope I did alright! Please enjoy this story, as I had so much fun writing it!)

Little Thief

Rated: G Summary: Kokichi finds a ferret and believes he knows exactly who it belongs to.

Kokichi was walking by one of the alleyways when he heard a loud CLANG and froze on the spot, carefully pedaling backwards to see what was going on. Sometimes he found people dumpster diving for the hell of it, and sometimes he found people that he could use in his secret organization (how do you think he got to 12,000 people already? He could almost hear Saihara sigh wistfully like a maiden who was exhausted by society’s shortcomings and tell him that was a lie). He could hear whoever it was rummaging furiously through the rolling garbage bin as though they were scrambling for something. Maybe it was a racoon? Weren’t they nocturnal though? Unable to keep his curiosity in check, Kokichi walked further into the alleyway to the garbage bin, watching amused as papers were flying out. He got down on his hands and knees and blinked when he saw a furry slinky.

“Aren’t you supposed to be like, domesticated or something?” Kokichi asked as he reached in and tried to pull the thing out. God he never thought that he’d feel such soft fur, and this thing needed a bath. Ugh the smell was unbelievable and it didn’t help that they were through a garbage bin of all things. The ferret kept slipping out of his grip like a wet soap bar in the middle of the shower. He wondered if this was how Shuichi felt when he was trying to grapple with his anxiety. (Maybe that metaphor went a little too far).

Kokichi struggled with maintaining the grip and coaxing the ferret out, getting just as dirty and smelly as the animal that he was trying to fight. “How did you even get in there?” He grumbled. “Wait, I wonder if you’re one of Tanaka-chan’s.” He brought the ferret up closer and yipped when it started to try to weasel itself out of his hands. “Oh no you don’t you furry ribbon boneless creature.” He tightened his hold and struggled to get back to his feet.

The ferret was indeed long and skinny in length. The fur was a striped snow white and stormy grey with a white beak and a sakura colored nose. The beady eyes were trying to look innocently up at Kokichi, but the D.I.C.E supreme leader knew better than to fall for that trap. Nothing was innocent about dragging a tiny school boy into a garbage bin. (OKay he knew that he did that all on his own, but it was fun to think about).

Now came the hard part. If Tanaka was missing a ferret there’d be school signs right? Tanaka was more or less pretty uptight about where his animals were and he was always vigilant about letting the whole school know when one of them was missing. Kokichi racked his brains trying to come up with a memory of Tanaka posting up flyers recently, but couldn’t think of anything.

Still...Kokichi looked at the struggling creature that was clearly wanting to get back in the garbage bin. (Maybe it wants to slither up against Kokichi’s neck. He could be the new mascot of D.I.C.E! No, better not get too attached to that idea anytime soon). He tucked the creature closer against his body. The only way to know was to go bother the Supreme Overlord of Ice.

It was just a good thing that the 77 class’s dorms weren’t too far away from here. “Okay little long mouse, let’s go find your daddy and then I can take a shower.” Kokichi lectured the furry creature as he made his way across the school yard. Unlike his own class, 77 didn’t really care about his pranks or about his tall tales. They let him have his fun, but they were fast to pick up on the fact that he was lying, telling the truth, or was just goading them on. Tsumiki was his favorite to prank sometimes, but so was Saijoni when she got an attitude.

He didn’t mean anyone on his way to the dorms and whether that was a blessing or a curse, Kokichi didn’t know. He made his way down the 77’s class hall and found Tanaka’s dorm room. “Okay this is where we part.” He told the ferret. “I’m going to give you back, and we’re all gucci.”

He knocked a couple of times on the door. “Tanaka-chaaannnnn!!!! I need help!!!!! I found a fur baby and I think it’s yours!!! Tanaka-chaaaannnn-”

The door swung open swiftly. “You did not need to call me in such an annoying tone, clown prince of lies. I heard you when you kno-” The heterochromatic stood in front of the doorway as imposing as Kokichi wished he could be. (Curse his short stature). His long red scarf tailed behind Gundham’s back along with the purple overcoat that he wore. His left arm was still heavily bandaged and he only wore the one earring. Sonia said that it got lost at the beach but Gundham was for certain that it had disappeared into the abyssal realm as a sacrifice.

(Kokichi still had it somewhere...he thought).

“What is that infernal beast doing in your hold?” Tanaka spoke slowly.

Kokcihi pouted, “What?! Do you think we couldn’t be friends?! That’s so mean of you, Tanaka-chan, I just might cry! I found this little poor baby in a garbage bin. Have a bit of mercy!”

“I would not be surprised if the Thieves of Hell decided you to be their infernal partner.” Tanaka blinked slowly. “Alas, as good of a creature as that is, they do not belong to me. They must have sought you out specifically. Come! You have done well to come to me for aid! I will teach you how to tame the beast! I will not break such a strong bond so easily!”

“Eh?” Kokichi felt like he just got whiplashed and it wasn’t easy for him to feel like that. Then again, Tanaka was probably the only one in this school that could give him something like that. “Wait hold on! This isn’t yours? They aren’t yours?”

“No. I do not tame many thieves of hell as I would like. My Four Devas are handful enough. Are you going to come in or not?” Tanaka demanded and Kokichi felt compelled to at least hear him out. He closed the door behind him, not really knowing what he was getting himself into.

“Do you know much about ferrets?” Kokichi asked as Tanka found a two-tiered cage in his closet (honestly that man was prepared to find any animal wasn’t he? It was already prepared for an animal’s welcome too. Specifically a rodent’s).

“I must know plenty of the different beats of hell if I am to remain as I am as a tamer.” Tanka replied easily. “You will find, clown prince of lies, that they are similar to you in spirit as they are similar to you in personality. I have no reason to suspect any harm will come to them as long as they are in your care. Though be warned! They are picky as they are clever. They can get out of any imprisonment they so chose to. Food must be to their liking. I will provide you as such so that you have something for now.”

Kokichi blinked, “What makes you think I’m gonna take it home with me? Tanaka-chan is being awfully assumptious. I was just trying to give the fur baby back to you! I’m too young to be a daddy!”

“What makes you think I would break your bond? If having such an infernal creature is too much for you I can break the seal and contract.” Tanaka offered. “Perhaps that may be for the best?”

A sudden fear gripped on to Kokichi. He just wanted to give the ferret back and go on his merry way. But...if it wasn’t Gundham’s and no one was going to claim it...then maybe the creature could be useful after all! (Kokichi still remembers finding Shuffle against the garbage bin when she was just getting started in middle school. He remembers having to scavenge to eat. He remembers…) “Nishishishi~ if you’re so busy with your hamsters, I can watch a ferret for a while. It’s not a big deal.” It was a huge deal.

“It is quite rude for us to assume gender, but I believe if I’m looking correctly you have a female. You may wish to be careful with her.” Tanaka mused thoughtfully as he took the creature from Kokichi and allowed it to climb up his arms. “They will get up to any places you may find hard to reach and if you train them well they can be a valuable asset to you.” The ferret suddenly wrapped itself around Tanaka’s neck, but it was an easy tug and pull to put the creature into the cage. “I unfortunately do not have much in ways of entertainment for the poor creature. So you may have to go out and get some. Partners like this do not come to you easily. Bonding and being a part of their fleeting lives is a sacred promise and one you should uphold to your best.”

“You sure know a lot about animals.” Kokichi casually crossed his arms behind his head. “I just wonder how it got on to school property if it’s not one of yours.”

“Infernal beasts have an instinct that I do not fully understand myself. Perhaps she knew that she was destined to be with someone at the school and came to it’s siren’s call. You were lead by fate and now you have met.” Tanaka said simply as he double checked the cage and then held it out towards Kokichi. “You should come to me for more aid should you have need. My door is open.”

“Your cellphone number would be better.”

“The last time I gave it to you, clown prince of lies, you gave me nothing but images of things you call “memes”. I believe I had the right to revoke such a right.” Tanaka deadpanned.

“Awww.” Kokichi pouted. “We were so close too. Alright, I guess I’ll...figure out a way to smuggle this into my dorm room. Ciao sunflower seed!”

Unbeknown to either of them, Shuichi had a flyer in his hands looking for a grey and white striped ferret that had gotten out of someone’s apartment complex. The name Tinkerbell was scrawled in a hasty flourish. “Now where could you have gone…”

#lynne's self indulgence #sdr2 #gundham tanaka #kokichi ouma #shuichi saihara #ferrets #danganronpa v3 #dangnaronpa fanfic

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echo-bleu · 4 years

Text

Writing Thoughts: July 2020

First, I am ridiculously late in replying to comments, and I’m sorry.

This isn’t going to be a regular report, because I took a (longer than planned) break from writing, so I have essentially nothing to report. I meant to take a week off at the end of June because I wasn’t feeling it anymore and needed a break. It’s been five weeks, and I’ve written a whooping 10k words since, most of which is entirely unusable.

So I’ll try to use this post to remind myself of why (and what) I want to write.

I kinda joined a new fandom. Historically I’ve been pretty much unable to be in multiple fandoms at the same time when they’re hyperfixations (and I don’t write if it’s not a fixation), but I also don’t want to leave my fics unfinished. Right now, I have very little interest left for RNM. This may change, it might just be the first phase of a new SpIn, or it might now, I don’t know. But what I should really say is that I have no interest for RNM canon. I still love my AUs. I’m not reading RNM fics at the moment, but I have about a dozen tabs open on new chapters or fics I want to read eventually, and I’ll get there.

The new fandom is Shadowhunters, by the way. I fell in love with Alec Lightwood and with Malec years after everybody and joined the fandom late as is my habit. I’m not sure how long it’s going to last, but the fandom is very active and I’ve started writing (those 10k words) so we’ll see. It does have one thing that I was missing in my last two fandoms (and especially RNM) which is a character that I can properly headcanon as autistic so I can write for my own neurotype, which is frankly a breath of fresh air sometimes. For the most part, I don’t even like the other characters or the worldbuilding of that show though, so it may end up being a short SpIn.

That said, I really don’t want to abandon my fics (and I’m aware that I said that before and still ended up abandoning fics, but es is probably the only one who remembers so...well.) I want to remind myself of what I love in the fics I’m writing.

Easiest and shortest first, down to breathing needs two more chapters that are planned out and aren’t going to be very long and I’m pretty sure I’ll get there. I just need to figure out if my brain will do better with trying to finish this so it’s out of the way, or going back to one of the longer (and AU) ones to get immersed again.

still, there were mornings may end up being the hardest one to go back to. It’s not fully planned out, and it kind of requires for me to go back to the season 2 plot to try to untangle what I can keep from that, something I don’t particularly want to do. I did have fun writing the first few chapters though, so maybe I can get back in. I like Rosa in this one, a lot. I planned on getting Greg in there pretty early, that should be nice. Plus plenty of whump and h/c, which is always what’s easiest and nicest for me to write. Yes. I need to remember that. Less plot, more h/c lol.

our hands clasped so tight is still my baby. I love it so much, I love writing it even when it doesn’t come easily. I think a big part of the reason I ended up needing a break was that I was stuck on this one, and had little interest in writing anything else. I have autistic Michael (not as easy to write as I’d hoped because I still struggle with Michael in general, esp since s2, but still nice), I really love Alex in this fic for a number of reasons, there’s a flashback chapter at some point with a LOT of angst... fluff and angst and h/c in the main plot, plus some nice surprises coming up. Plus, it’s a plot with low stakes, so I can play around. It reminds me a lot of the Underground (my long Gifted fic that I did end up abandoning 😭 I still have a fool’s hope of going back to it someday) in that regard, so hopefully it won’t meet the same fate.

The sequel to setting fire to our insides (for fun). Ouch. I really want to write it, but it sometimes hits a little too close to home. It’s the one that is dangerous for me to write when I’m not doing well, but too hard when I’m well, so it’s a difficult balance. So many people were enthusiastic about the sequel in the comments, and I also feel like I can’t do it justice, but I felt like that about the first part for months. So I don’t know. I guess I’ll see if I can get into that particular mood again.

Complicated Truths is the one AU that I honestly feel the least good about. I was excited at first, I still am in theory I guess, but I struggled too much with giving it a coherent plot, and what I do have is way too long for me to keep up interest. Maybe I need to talk it out with someone, come up with something shorter and easier if I want to keep going. I do love writing blind Alex, and I enjoy the Malex dynamic of it. And the spy setting, even though I feel a little out of my depth.

Power Through. I really want to get back to it. I love it so much. It’s all plotted out, even if now I kinda want to include Rosa more and get Gregory in. I don’t know why I haven’t managed to write more, I think I got lost in the one-shots and shorter fics that I enjoy writing less but give me more instant gratification I suppose... Plus season 2 threw me for a loop. But this and our hands are the two fics that I’d really want to write to the end, if I have to choose.

I also still have the Big Bang I signed up to. Eh. I planned on doing one of the AUs I outlined but never wrote, but it would be long, and the truth is that I don’t think I can handle another long AU. So my plan is shifting a bit toward a shorter fic (maybe 15k or so) with a lot less plot and more feels. I’m not allowed to say more :D

The thing I started writing for Shadowhunters is a series of short fics, not a full WIP, I’m not committing to something like that just yet. Not sure whether I’ll post anything at all. We’ll see.

This was ridiculously long as usual, so thank you if you’ve read to the end! It was really more a note for myself than meant for any of you tbh, but if you really want to see one of these fics to completion, feel free to tell me, I need the encouragement 💙

#echo's writing thoughts #our hands clasped so tight #power through #complicated truths #still there were mornings #setting fire #untitled big bang fic

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rotationalsymmetry · 3 years

Text

The online CFS group I mostly rely on for support, most of the stuff that didn’t make sense at first made sense later on. But there’s one thing I’m still struggling greatly with, the rating system.

The group uses a rating system running from “completely bedridden” to “fully healthy.” I’ve heard some people complain it’s not that useful for distinguishing degrees on the sicker end of the scale, and I’m sure it isn’t. But my problem is a bit different: it’s suggesting a level of correlation between severity of symptoms and the amount of “work” (including housework and other non-paid tasks and errands) you can do that just doesn’t line up with my experience at all.

On a typical day, when I’ve been staying within my limits and haven’t had a cold or something, I have mild symptoms. Some lethargy. Just a touch of brain fog. A little bit of noise sensitivity. But nothing like what I feel on a bad day, and nothing like what I’ve heard many other people with CFS describe as their everyday symptoms. “It feels like having the flu, every day” stuff like that. If I stay within my limits, I feel nearly normal.

This would put me near the top of the scale. But near the top of the scale is also things like “can hold down a full time job” and “can work 6-7 hours per day” and ok, if I try that I will be getting those moderate to severe symptoms.

On a typical day, I shower. I might go outside and leisurely stroll around for perhaps half a mile to a mile round trip. I get dressed. I probably spend some time playing board or card games with my husband, in non-taxing half hour intervals, and probably watch an hour or so of TV. I might do a small amount of food prep or buy something online, or respond to a couple emails, or read something that takes some focus, or spend an hour socializing. Not all of those things. A heavy day, one that I have to do a little planning around and am going to try to avoid doing multiple heavy days back to back, might involve a medical appointment, a longer walk or trip to Target two blocks away, or two hours of socializing. Not more than one of those if I can avoid it.

A very heavy day, one that I’m going to carefully plan the entire week or longer around, might involve several hours of socializing or a grocery store trip where I can use the 15 items or less lane. I haven’t done a more-than-15-items grocery run in years. (Just thinking about it is unpleasant — I’m remembering shortness of breath, and the guy behind me in line getting snarky because I’m moving slowly. Fucker.) (I’ve...never used a motor scooter for a grocery run? That might help a lot.)

(I might, even on a bad day, write a lot of random stuff and post it here. That...doesn’t register as “work” even in the same way that journaling a set amount at a set time does. I mean, I’m sure it takes some energy, but if I try to swap it out for something more...intentional...I will likely find myself not able to do as much without exhausting myself. Beats me why. Doing lot image descriptions wipes me out more than writing long original posts.)

So...first of all, I really couldn’t say how many hours a day I could work, because I don’t think most of what I do could be just swapped out for say data entry or caption writing or dish washing without it running my battery out much faster. Even when I do things that read as “work” to me, tracking how much time I spend on them seems like excessive hassle; there’s better uses for my limited executive function.

Second...reading through that chart makes me think I should be pushing myself to do more. That it’s normal for people with CFS to push them way more than I do. Which, from experience, is unlikely to be a good idea.

(It’s ... not like I think there’s any chance that I’m exaggerating how bad my illness is. Before I knew I had CFS or what to do about it, I had an awful lot of days where sitting upright was uncomfortable. (Heck, I’d be lying down and still have the sense that I somehow needed to get down even more.) I’ve had my share of days at a time being unable to shower. My share of getting shortness of breath every time I turned my head. I don’t need to go through that again to prove to myself that I’m actually as sick as I am. When I get milder warning signs — heavier brain fog, heavier noise sensitivity, even just heavier “eh I don’t feel like doing anything”, I fucking take that seriously.)

#cfs/me #living with cfs/me #chronic illness #personal #it’s possible I’m having cfs and adhd interactions that make intentional work much harder for me than for other people #it is so hard to talk about this #it’s hard to even think about it #I hate being this limited

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your-local-grubdog · 4 years

Text

The Engineer’s Heart

Pikmin 3 fanfiction thingy yay! This was cross-posted to Ao3 if you want to read it there instead.

Summary: Alph couldn't keep this bottled up any more. He had to say it, he had to tell him how he felt. Unfortunately these kinds of things don't come easy for Alph.

Parings: Alph/Charlie

Misc. notes: Short n sweet, one shot, fluff

Alph smiled wide as he stood before Captain Charlie – his captain! He was going to go to PNF-404! He was going to be a hero!

He had seen the captain many times on TV. But never in person, not until today.

“You’re Alph? Drake’s grandson?” the captain asked as he approached him.

“Yes sir!”

“I’ve heard of you.” That alone made Alph flush up a little. "I've heard you do good work. I expect good things from you.”

“I won’t disappoint, sir!” Anxiety began to eat away at him a little. He couldn’t disappoint Charlie. He wasn’t sure if he could handle such a thing.

Alph crumpled up the paper and tossed it into an already over-flowing bin. None of it sounds right! Why does none of it sound right?!? He grunted as he leaned back into the chair. They were leaving the planet, and now well on their way to Hocotate in order to return Olimar home.

Alph couldn’t keep it bottled up any more. He had to say something – he HAD to do this. He thought that making it a poem would be easier, but that wasn’t turning out to be the case.

He pulled out another sheet and tried again.

“I think of you so much

You are strong. And kind.

A true leader for us b”

Alph quickly balled the paper up. No! No no no – it still didn’t sound right!

He’d have to try again.

Alph stood there as the Vehemoth Phosbat fell to the ground, letting out one final death cry. He stood there, side by side with Brittany, the both of them stiff as they waited.

Was... was the captain okay?

The beast then twitched, once, twice, and then its mouth was pushed open by Captain Charlie.

He jumped out of the creature, a look of relief spread across his face. “Ah, it’s great to see yo-”

He was cut off with an “oof” when Alph ran over and hugged him tightly. It was rather awkward, given that their helmets got in the way, but it was also still genuine.

“Captain! Thank the stars you’re alive! It took us so long to find you and Brittany was pretty sure you were dead and I was starting to worry that myself especially when your signal came out of that thing, I was for sure it had managed to kill you but you’re alive!!! You’re alive!!!” Alph spoke quickly, and part way through he had started to cry which made it even harder to understand him.

“Woah, woah... hey, hey it’s okay Alph, it’s okay...” He gently began to rub the engineer’s back. “I’m okay now... you don’t need to cry over me.”

“To think one could find love on a planet such as this

Yet here I am

Smitten and awe-struct by your bravery, your kindness, your”

Alph once again crumpled it up. “Dammit. Why can’t the words just... work?”

“What ‘cha up to?” Charlie asked as he walked closer.

Alph looked up from his work. “Oh, just some basic upgrades to the Drake’s computer. Nothing too fancy.”

“What will it do?”

“Eh, just make things run more smoothly on a software level. Useful, but nothing too big.”

Charlie looked at the code work Alph had done. “Really? I thought the Drake’s computer ran just fine.”

“Oh, it did. But it could be better. See, the Drake’s computer ran on code based on the work of Eric Rinnal, who then became famous for his work. That basic “Rinnal” type code has been used in all Koppait space craft sense. And it works well! Really well! But it has some flaws. See, Rinnal’s work was based off of Halbert Trenok’s own work in the field. And Trenok’s work... it was good, and it was super useful and amazing back in his day. But that’s the thing – back in his day! It’s quite outdated now. Rinnal was able to fix most quirks that Trenok’s system had but there’s still a few little wrinkles that could be ironed out. You know, that’s why REKO model ships are infamous for being so awful – they still run on the Trenok system! I mean, it works, I guess, but-” Alph stopped himself midsentence when he saw the bewildered look on Charlie’s face. “O-Oh... sorry if I was being kind of annoying there.”

“You were not being annoying.” Charlie quickly insisted. “You were sharing your interest. I couldn’t quite follow but that’s no reason to feel bad.”

Alph smiled a little. “Oh... thanks.”

“Now how about you tell me exactly how this Tree-nook's stuff was out dated, hm?”

“Trenok.” Alph corrected. “And... I’m not sure if I can word it in a way that would be easy to understand.”

“So? Just keep talking. I’ll keep listening.”

Alph smiled more, and reaching back into his college days he began to explain (and quite frankly, heavily criticize) the Trenok system of space craft code.

“You listen. You listen and you care,

Oh Charlie,

How could I not love you?”

Alph stared at the page. Maybe this? He sighed and leaned his head into his hand. It was a start.

Alph laid awake in his bed, overcome with a strong realization. He couldn’t fall asleep, not after this.

He loved him.

How Alph didn’t realize this sooner, he did not know. He thought about him constantly, he felt a nervous happiness when around him, hell he wrote a damn poem about the guy. Any yet he kept trying to convince himself that he just looked up to him? No.

He loved him.

He loved him so much that it hurt.

What was he supposed to do about it? They were fighting for their life on an alien planet – he couldn’t be distracted by this. And that wasn’t even counting the numerous other issues. Did the captain even like men at all? Would he consider a captain–crew relationship to be too unprofessional? Stars forbid that he’d see a gay relationship taboo. What if the captain simply didn’t like him? What if he was rejected?

Alph curled up into a tight ball. He had to tell him. He had to. He loved him.

But at the very least, it would have to wait. People were depending on them back home, and he couldn’t distract himself or the captain with whatever outcome the confession would have.

But... it would hurt so much until then.

Alph kept staring at the paper in frustration, unable to come up with anything else. He eventually crumpled it up too, and threw it at his door. He laid his head down on his desk. This wasn’t working. None of his ideas were working.

He heard a knock at the door.

“I’m not feeling well.” Alph replied. He didn’t exactly want to deal with any of the others right now.

The door opened anyways. “Alph? What’s wrong? I can get you some medicine.” Charlie’s voice rang through the room.

Alph jumped up a bit. Oh stars, he was the last person he wanted to see. “Oh... I... I’m just burnt out is all.” He looked away from the captain again. “I think I just need to call it an early night.”

“Struggling with your poems?”

“Yeah...”

A pause, then “Well, let me look at this one. Maybe I can help?”

Alph’s eyes widened and he quickly stood up to stop the captain. But it was too late, he had already uncrumpled the page and was reading it. It had only taken him a short moment to finish it, being only three lines long, and then he looked up and locked eyes with Alph.

That was it then, huh? His heart had been exposed to the captain, and was laying out there bleeding. Alph could only lean his ears back and cling to his desk least he fall over.

“Alph...” Charlie’s words were soft, kind. “Alph, you don’t need to be afraid.” He was suddenly much closer now, and held out a hand to the shorter koppait. Alph looked at it, then at Charlie who seemed to be genuinely concerned. Alph elected to just hug him instead.

He wanted to cry. He wanted to cry into the captain’s shoulder and let his worries fade away. But he didn’t. He just stood there as Charlie gently rubbed his back. The captain said some things that Alph couldn’t fully process, but it all seemed to be an effort to calm him down.

After a few moments, he could hear the captain say his name clearly. He looked up at him. “Yes, Charlie?”

“Alph I... a lot has happened over the course of this mission. And I can’t fully understand most of it yet.”

Alph’s ears leaned back. Was he being rejected?

“I don’t know how I feel about you – about this. I’d need time to think it over.”

Alph sighed as he looked down. So no, not a rejection. But not an acceptance either. “I... I understand.”

“Thank you, Alph.” The Captain pulled away a little. “I can promise you only this; I won’t leave you in the dark about whatever my choice is, regardless of what I choose.”

Alph nodded.

Well, at least he had that?

----------

It had been a little under a week now. They had just left Hocotate, and were now heading to koppai. It should realistically only take a few hours.

Alph was in his room again, writing some things down again. He was having a much easier time with it, given it was just about nature and not something as weird as love. Once again, he heard a knock at his door.

“Come on in.” he replied.

Charlie entered the room. “Hey, uh, I had something to ask of you.”

Alph felt his stomach tighten. He couldn’t help it, he felt like he was going to burst from his pent-up emotions. Yet the captain knew about them, and that somehow made it worse. “Y-yeah?”

“It, uh... It’s also related to what... what I found out before.”

Alph’s stomach grew even tighter. “O-Oh...”

“Basically, once we’re back on Koppai, and once the media is done parading us around would... would you still be interested in going out for some dinner with me?”

Alph’s eyes widened a bit as his heart raced. “Yes!” he squeaked out just a little too quickly.

Charlie smiled. “Oh! Well then... I guess we can figure out the details once we’re home. Does that sound alright?”

Alph had already stood up and was walking to Charlie. “Yeah! Yeah that’s good.”

Charlie raised an eyebrow and sighed. “Alright, I know what you want.” he said as he held his arms out. Alph immediately clinged onto him, and Charlie hugged him back. The two stood like that for a good few moments before Alph pulled away a little to look up at Charlie. He was going to say something, but forgot what it was he wanted to say. He and Charlie just stared at each other for a moment, before the taller man gently leaned down and kissed his cheek. Alph squeaked, his face a bright red.

“We’ll be back on Koppai very soon.” Charlie explained. “So go ahead and get ready, okay?”

Alph nodded as Charlie slipped away and left the room. He would get ready, but it’d be hard to focus.

He was really doing it! He was really going to go on a date with Charlie!

#pikmin #pikmin 3 #pikmin fan fic #pikmin alph #pikmin charlie #chalph #alph x charlie #cross posted on ao3

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flowersinmytimemachine · 5 years

Text

The German song that mentions Mclennon

Okay so as I've already said, there is a song in German that names John, Paul and also Yoko Ono. They are only mentioned in the chorus but concerning the topic of the song I think it is worth talking about.

The song is called "Kogong" by Mark Forster. (Sollten das hier deutschsprachige Leute lesen, bitte tötet mich nicht :D)

Here is the official music video:

youtube

1. About the singer

Mark Forster is a 35-year-old German Singer-Songwriter. He had his first major hit in 2014 and ever since has been able to become one of Germanys most famous pop singers. He is known for his catchy and easy-going tunes. Most of the songs talk about love, self-confidence or just having a good time.

Just like many people, I know a bunch of his songs without really being a fan. They just play his hits on the radio ALL THE TIME. Despite his fame, some people say that his songs literally sound more or less the same. (If you want to get a better idea of his usual sound, some of my favourites are: "Flash mich", "Au revoir", EFF- "Stimme")

Why am I telling you all of this? Well, "Kogong" is quite the opposite of that. Maybe you could hear that this song sounds rather melancholic and slow. And guess what? That piano that you can hear in the background? Yep, that's Pauls piano. Mark Forster literally flew to London just to record this song at Abbey Road Studios. He says:

"We recorded 'Kogong' at Abbey Road Studios, in Studio 2, where the Beatles made all their records. And the piano that you can hear in 'Kogong' is the same piano that Paul Mccartney played 'Let It Be' on. That was quite special for me and my band and I think you can hear that the old Beatles spirit somewhat comes through in it."

Kogong came out in 2017. It was released on the only album by Forster that has an overall more serious sound. So what exactly is "Kogong" about?

2. The lyrics

Here are two pictures, one with the German lyrics and one with a translation by me.

When you read the lyrics, you will probably see that it is kinda hard to understand, especially after only one listen. Quite a few phrases don't seem to make a lot of sense. Well German audiences were not so happy either with this piece. Some said that the melody is good even though nobody was used to this kind of song by Forster. But the comments online seem to share the same opinion on the text: Forster probably only wanted to show that he is also able to write more intellectual sounding songs. Many just view it as avantgardist crap. Then again the video has 20 Mio views on YouTube and is currently his 6th most listened to song on Spotify so 🤔

But now about the interesting stuff. How could ANYONE who knows at least the slightest bit about Mclennon not stumble across this line:

"I am fucking Yoko Ono. My heart is Paul and John."

My heart is Paul and John? Yes Mark, I couldn't have said it any better myself. So ever since this song came out, I was curious what all these confusing lyrics could mean. Where is the connection between this one line and the rest of the song? What did Mark Forster say about it?

3. Interpretation

Here is a statement by Forster:

"Kogong is the sound of the heart when it's listening. The song is about small and big things that my heart told me but that I kind of couldn't really hear. I really hope that I'll be able to pay more attention to it in the future, so maybe this song is my new start."

So the subject of the song is not really able to listen to its heart. Furthermore, the lyrics hint on multiple topics and problems that the person has to face:

Being not happy at all, maybe even depressed ("you're not fine, you're only half-way fine"), this could also suggest that the subject has to keep up a facade while suffering inside

Problems in a relationship, marriage or even having an affair ("what you still want from her", "you hug eachother for far too long")

Self-image, Self-acceptance ("Wherever you are, you will always be yourself", "you need your peace")

The above mentioned quote says that this is a personal song. Another time he said that he realised that he wanted to become a singer while walking on the Road to Santiago (hence the line about hiking).

In another interview he stated that he tries to write in the same way as he thinks minus the rhymes. Overall short phrases which came to his mind.

So in concern of listening to ones heart: The lyrics suggest that the subject is not only unable to listen to its heart but rather actively ignores it due to outer circumstances. ("I don't want to hear a thing and am beating my chest like King Kong.").

Seems like there is a constant dispute between the heart and the subject. Which finally leads us to the line:

"I am fucking Yoko Ono, my heart is Paul and John."

How could a seemingly average pop singer connect a song about inner conflicts, love and self-image to John, Paul and Yoko Ono??

Well Forster said that he literally grew up with the Beatles and that they influenced him deeply. But to connect specific names to this topic, he couldn't only have been enjoying their songs. He has to know about their history and especially about their break-up. I've read a few opinions that "John" is only in there because it rhymes with "Kogong". So if he came up with that name and him being a Beatles fan, maybe the association to John Lennon isn't that far off. But why "fucking Yoko Ono"? Mark says:

"Yoko Ono is often accused of breaking up* the Beatles. And sometimes that's how I feel about my heart: Yoko Ono brings me and my heart apart." (*literally bringing apart)

?Eh?

Tbh that's hella confusing. I think he was kinda joking tho since he also states that the "fucking" is in there because of that British town. Which obviously makes no sense. Since Forster is serious about the rest of the song, its almost like he doesn't really want to talk about the true meaning of that line.

I mean the "John" could have suited only as a filler word at first. But I just don't think that other songwriters would automatically then connect that to Yoko Ono and especially Paul. Furthermore John and Paul form an unity here in the symbol of the heart. Despite the songs topic that's just such an romantic association.

Of course the average listener could easily say that this is all random nonsense. But for me who is genuinely interested in the Beatles/ Mclennon, this line doesn't seem out of context.

So if we take the lyrics of Kogong seriously, Mark Forster connects difficult romantic relationships and listening to your heart with John and Paul. Btw I know that Yoko didn't break up the Beatles, but Mark Forster is only talking about the infamous accusation of such. And even if he's only referring to the rumored breakup, wouldn't it be Beatles VS Yoko or Beatles VS John and Yoko? No, Mark Forster has to put John and Paul on one side and due to the metaphor with the heart, they together are portrayed as something pure, something romantic.

4. Conclusion

Well I can't really break the song down to every little phrase and its possible meaning. I think this post is already long enough 😅

Nevertheless "Kogong" by Mark Forster talks about conflicts with the inner-self concering love or becoming the person that you really are. All of this is quite explicitely connected to John and Paul (and Yoko) in the peak line of the chorus. (Just the way Forster sings this part is so...honest and amazing..). In my opinion, Mark Forster implies a really close (possible even romantic) connection between Paul and John while being put up against Yoko.

Shipping Mclennon or viewing their relationship as very close/romantic is often connected with horny teenagers on social media who make up crazy theories to satisfy their own desires. But here we have a man in his 30s who seemingly hints on similar ideas concerning their relationship in one of his most famous songs. And I know that this is not the first time that pop culture mentions their connection in that way but its actually the first very serious approach that I know of.

And maybe I am really reading too much into all of this. ( I mean I'm a Mclennon shipper after all lol) But in the end we still have a man who flew all the way to London just to sing-scream "I am fucking Yoko Ono, my heart is Paul and John" at Abbey Road Studios and I think that's pretty cool.

If you finished this mess till the end, thank you so much and let me know your opinion on it! ☺️🙌

(Sorry for any writing mistakes and I also have the sources of the quotes at hand, but obviously they are in German)

#mclennon #john lennon #paul mccartney

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jungshookz · 5 years

Note

can you do a college ta!jimin where y/n is failing her class but she’s too scared to go to jimin for help even though he’s her ta bc every time she sees him in lecture she makes a fool of herself and is embarrassed bc jimin is also v hot

→ pairing: park jimin x reader

→ genre: university!au, ta!jimin, neRVOUS!y/n, tae and kook are the dream team from hell, joon is a try-hard but we still luv him

→ wordcount: 2.5k

→ note: ok i was going to write this tomorrow but i couldn’t wait because i need ta!jimin in my life right now immediately so i’m soRRY if it’s short but IT WAS SUCH A CUTE IDEA and i needed to get it ouT into the world also fun fact: a girl that i met during my first month at uni told me all about how she fucked her friend’s psychology TA to help her friend get an A in the class and i need me a friend like that

(gif isn’t mine!)

quick question

why the FUCK did you think this astronomy course was going to be easy peasy

it was supposed to be your grade booster!!!!!

all you learn about are the STARS in the sky

they’re just flaming balls of gaS and you somehow are unable to grasp that concept for some reason

“how’d you do???” namjoon plops down in the seat next to you before looking at his own test and flicking through the sheets

you blink down at the test in your hands

49% written in an angry shade of red

you technically failed even though you were 1% away from getting a passing mark

this was the last chance to boost your mark before the final exam and you totally just bombed it

there are three midterms that you have to take in this course

which meant you had three chances to study hard and do well

you got 59% on the first one

63% on the second one

and this one?

49%

you droPPED not 1% not 2% but a FAT 14%

o boy

you have a feeling you’re not going to do too well on the final exam considering the journey so far

“i, uh, i did okay.” you shrug and stuff your test into your backpack quickly “how’d you do?”

“eh, i did okay too. 86% is fine, i guess.” namjoon murmurs and circles one of the questions on the test “i didn’t study as much for this one so that explains why i did more poorly compared to the first and second one.”

you peek over at namjoon’s test and let out a sigh when you notice his has a significantly less number of red cross marks

you love namjoon but you’re ready to smack the back of his head because you would be ecsTATIC if you got 86% on a midterm you barely studied for

“i’m probably going to go talk to jimin during office hours and ask for some help with the questions i got wrong. you wanna come with-“

“nO” you immediately curl into yourself and wince when namjoon mentions jimin

jimin

park jimin, if we’re being more specific here

he’s the TA for this class and let’s just say,..,,..,,. there’s a reason why the class filled up so quickly at the beginning of the year

he is drop-dead gorgeous

like unbelievably gorgeous

like sculpted from the gods themseLVEs gorgeous

soft, perfectly tousled raven locks

pretty brown eyes

the cutest button nose

and his lips

his pillowy lips that curl around certain words so perfectly and you’re always mesmerised when he takes over a lecture because he does this thing where his tongue will poke out and swipe over his bottom lip in the middle of his rant and you will never admit to anYone that you’ve fantasised about what it’d be like giving him plump bottom lip a lil kith once or twice or thrice

he has a couple ear piercings and you never thought you’d be attracted to that but oH boy you definitely are

not to mention he’s like???? so fashionable???????

most of the time he wears like a button-up tucked into a pair of slacks just to keep things professional or whatever but SOMETIMES he walks in in like a pair of ripped skinny jeans and a loose white tee and a denim jacket or something and that just gets your gears gOING

one time you caught a glimpse of his bicep flexing as he ran his hand through his hair and you literally couldn’t focus on anything for the rest of the class

(today he’s wearing a white button up tucked into a pair of ripped blue jeans and he has his thick black glasses sitting perfectly on his nose)

and!!!!! on top of that he’s the sweetest human being in the entire world

everything about him is just so utterly, frustratingly perfect

he gigGles very often and overtime he does that you’re pretty sure an angel is born in the heavens above

and he’s always super helpful with everyone

even though it’s pretty obvious some of the people in here approach him with the dumbest questions because they just want an excuse to talk to him he will anSwer those dumb questions and help them to the best of his abilities

you haven’t really had a conversation with him before just because this is a class with 200 people and you obviously aren’t going to elbow your way through the crowd just to stand there with nothing to ask him

the only question you can imagine yourself asking is “…..wat is a star” and u don’t want him thinking you’re a big ol dummy

however

the times that you havE interacted with him or the times that prove to you that he does indeed know that you exist have been awful to say the least

absolute humiliating

you don’t know why but every time you make a fool of yourself it’s in this class and it’s riGHt in front of jimin

when you were doing your presentation with a couple other classmates you kept stuttering over your words because jimin was in the front row just staring at you and you could feel your face growing redder than a tomato

you kept stumbling and missing important parts in the presentation so your teammates had to step up and help you a little and afterwards you apologised proFuSely and treated them all to a drink from starbucks

another time namjoon asked if you could go down to the front and grab his paper for him and as you were walking down the steps of the lecture theatre you missed a step and fell riGHT in front of jimin

so, in conclusion: jimin probably thinks you have a speech impediment aND you’re clumsy as hell

you’re just glad that there are only like 2 weeks of class left because that means you’ll finally be able to get away from jimin

it’s not like you want to get away from him

it’s just that

you can.,,.,. u can feel yourself starting to develop a tiny crush on him (spoiler alert you already have a fat ass crush on him you stubborn walnut) and that ain’t good because then you’ll be all sad and mopey because you know for a faCt park jimin is way WAY out of your league and there’s nothing you can do about it

“y/n.”

but you know what you should at least try and say something to him before the year ends because if you don’t you’ll probably regret it

“y/n.”

oR you could make an anonymous page on that ‘university crushes’ page (there are already severAL park jimin posts on that Facebook page so you’re sure your contribution won’t make a difference)

“y/n!!!!!!!” you jump when you feel someone grab your shoulder and you snap out of it immediately “what’s gotten into you?? i said your name like a trillion times!” jungkook furrows his brows

“what? what?” you look around frantically and-

what the heck

when did you get to the dining hall

“i said her name a trillion times on the way here and she didn’t reply to me either.” namjoon snorts as he picks up an apple from the fruit basket “she’s probably daydreaming about jimin again” he teases and you resist the urge to roll your eyes when you see slow smirks begin to appear on everyone’s faces

oh god

here it comes

“ooOooooOOOHH-“ jungook and taehyung begin teasing you and you whack their hands away when they reach up to pinch at your cheeks “our y/n has a little crush on park jimin!!!!!!!”

“i don’T have a crush on anyone!” you scowl and grab a carton of apple juice for yourself “cut it out, you freaks”

“aw, don’t be like that! it’s okay! he’s a very pretty person.” taehyung nods and grabs the juice box from your hand

“get your own juice box.” you snatch it back from tae’s hands before whipping around and heading towards the table where they put all the muffins and donuts (you’ve been craving something sweeT)

as you walk towards the table you turn your head so that you’re able to send a glaRE at your friends “i’m terminating this conversation because i do not want to talk about my crush on park jim- oH-!” suddenly you’re stumbling riGHt into someone and you feel hands grip at your waist to keep you steady while your own hands instinctively reach out to balance yourself

you turn your head back quickly ready to profusely apologise to this person for your clumsiness and that’s when you realise you just stumbled riGHT into-

p a r k j i m i n

/…..FUCK

christ

jesus CHRIST

see

it happened again!!!!!!!!

whenever you do something humiliating jimin is riGHT there

“careful there!” he laughs lightly and you retract your hands from his pecs (ᵒʰ ᵐʸ ᵍᵒᵈ) immediately “you good?”

“great. i’m good!” you squeak out and feel your cheeks starting to warm “i- uh, are you okay? i’m so sorry, i wasn’t watching where i was going-“

“don’t worry about me, i’ll survive.” he jokes and your eyes immediately dart away because of your inability to hold eye contact for more than like fiVE seCONDS

“okay, cool, um, that’s good. ……anyways i’m just gonna pay for my juice box-“

“y/n, right?”

you immediately look back up at him

o god

he knows your name

okay okAY okay calm down just act cool you’re super cool you’re a cool gal!!!!!!!

[high pitchy voice] ʸᵒᵘ’ʳᵉ ᶠᶦⁿᵉᵎ

“yes. that’s me. i am her. i am y/n.” okay there we go we finally got there “you’re… jimin.” oOFhkj

u know what just shut up don’t say anything

“you’re the one who wrote about astronomy and its relationship with astrology, right?”

huh

oH righhhhhht that paper you had to write for astronomy

while you’re not good at exam-type things you’re pretty good when it comes to papers because it’s just you ranting about something but make it ~professional~ aNd also cite ur sources

“yes! that was me!!” you perk up because that paper was the onLy thing you were confident handing in in the class lol “i actually changed my topic last minute but i’m glad i did because i had a loT to say about the subject - b-but you probably already know that because you’re the one who graded it, hah-“ you reach up and scratch the back of your neck awkwardly

you catch a glimpse of the boys over jimin’s shoulder

they already paid for their food and they’re sitting at your guys’ usual table and while namjoon is shooting you a thumbs up and a dimpley smile both tae and kook are being iDIOTS

kook has his fingers curled like an ‘o’ while tae is sticking his finger through the hole and they’re botH wiggling their brows at you and you feel your cheeks warm even moRE

that’s so embarrassing

why are boys like that

whY are you friends with boys like that

namjoon scowls and whacks their hands down before pointing to their food and you can practically hear namjoon telling them to cut it out and just eAT you dumbasses

“i thought it was really well-written and very well executed. i enjoyed reading it, actually. i enjoyed it so much i read it twice!” jimin laughs and you feel your heart skip a beat when you hear his cute giggle “how did you do on the latest midterm?”

you’re not… particularly sure why jimin is stiLL talking to you

it’s not like you’re complaning or anything

you’re just confused

..,.,.,is he just being friendly because TA evaluations come out soon

“i did, um… let’s just say i could’ve done a loT better.” you clear your throat

you’re not about to remind him of your grades because u really reaLLy don’t want him to think you’re a moron

“oh! i’m sorry to hear that…” he frowns and his shoulders droop slightly before he perks up again “i’d be happy to talk to you and help you out! i’m free at 5:30 this afternoon.”

“5:30 works for me! but don’t office hours end at 4?” you furrow your brows in confusion and your bottom lip pokes out a little in the tiniest of pouts and jimin uwus internally

“yeah, and?” he still has his bright smile on his face and you are just conFUSEd “i’ll help you out and maybe we can grab a bite to eat afterwards.”

wait what

wait hWAT

“are- are you sure? i don’t want to inconvenience you or anything-“

“don’t be silly, you could never. here, i’ll give you my number.” jimin plucks the pen out from behind his ear and grabs your hand and you feel your heart rate SPIKE almost immediately

you instinctively giggle when the pen starts gliding against your skin and jimin peeks up at you with a smirk “ticklish?”

you take your bottom lip in between your teeth and keep your eyes on your hand “a lil”

jimin clicks the pen and tucks it back behind his ear and you look at the digits that have been scrawled on your hand “alright, i have some more midterms to grade so i’m going to disappear but i’ll see you later?”

“yes, that sounds good” you swallow thickly because you’re still registering the fact that park jimin just,,, gave you his number

“see ya!” jimin waves at you as he starts to walk away and u literally almost scream when his right eye drops in a wink

you wave back at him shyly and press your lips together

what is going on

is this a fever dream

are you in a simulation maybe

and then you’re standing there just wondering.,..,,. what was THAT and also are u going on a….. date later

nO no no

don’t over think it

he’s just being nice

he’s a nice guy

jimin lets out a breath once he leaves the dining hall and he has to stop to let his heart calm down a little

god damN

that number thing was a bold move but he’s so glad you didn’t reject him or anything

hopefully you show up this afternoon otherwise that’d kinda suCK

he can’t believe it took him nearly two whole semesters to finally grow some balls and say something to u lol

better late than never!!

help me help you make your wishes come tru (aka send me a request)

masterlist

#requested drabbles #jimin fics #jimin fic recs #jimin smut #jimin smut recs #jimin fluff #jimin fluff recs #park jimin #bts jimin #jimin bts #jimin cute #bts #bts fics #bts fic recs #bts smut recs #bts smut #bts fluff #bts fluff recs

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lust-kth · 5 years

Text

BTS Reaction: When He Confesses His Feelings

Pairing: BTS x Reader

Warnings: None

Genre: 100% PURE FLUFF

A/N: This is my first reaction and I am trying to write as often as I can. So I do hope y’all enjoy and stay tuned for my next post!

Kim Seokjin

He’s usually a confident man whenever he does anything. But when it comes to you, he’s a whole mess. His long-time crush on you has gotten to the point where he can’t be without you anymore. One night when he walks you home after a night out with your friends, you can’t help but notice he’s quieter than usual and it makes you worried.

“Jin? Are you okay? You haven’t said much all evening and I’m worried something is up.”

“Ah I’m okay y/n, it’s nothing really. No need to worry about me.”

He gave you a quick smile before looking back down on the ground but you grabbed his wrist and he was taken aback by your sudden action.

“I’ve known you since we were teenagers so I know when you’re lying. Please tell me the truth Kim Seokjin.”

The use of his full name made him sigh and he looked deep into your eyes then cupped your cheek, making you blush unintentionally.

“You really want to know y/n? I’m in love with you. I know I shouldn’t because our friendship could be ruined and I don’t want that. But I thought it was time you knew.”

He dropped his hand from your face when you bit your lip, feeling stupid you didn’t see it from the beginning but then you laughed, confusing him.

“Damn it Jin, that’s all it was? Well then, I think I should tell my truth as well…I’m also in love with you.”

His eyes widened and he grabbed your hands, the biggest smile etched across his face. He couldn’t believe it, he finally got the girl he’s loved for so long.

Min Yoongi

Meeting Yoongi was a total coincidence. You met while you were looking for equipment to work on your music and he happened to be at the same store you were, both of you looking for the same launchpad since you were both rising producers, which became a great conversation starter. Flash-forward to 2 years later and you’ve been close friends since, working hard on music and you’ve been so high in demand, you two decided to work together to create your own label. In those 2 years, you developed a crush on Yoongi but never acted on your feelings because he was your friend but also your business partner and you didn’t want to ruin things. One afternoon you were finishing a sample for an artist when Yoongi knocked on the studio, letting him in and saw he brought food.

“I bought tteokbokki for you cause I know you haven’t eaten since yesterday.”

“Wow Min Yoongi, you really are very considerate of my health. My heart is melting.”

“Yeah yeah, come on eat up.

”You took the bag of food and started eating while Yoongi sat at your computer and listened to what you were working on. He nodded in approval.

“That’s coming up really nice y/n. They’re gonna love it.”

“Thanks Yoongs. And thanks for the food too, I was starving.”

“Yeah no problem…look y/n, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you and usually I don’t speak up about my feelings but I really need to get this off my chest and it may ruin our friendship but at least I know that I said it…I like you. I really like you a lot and every time you come into my studio, my whole day gets better and there’s no one else I’d be doing any this with but you.”

You stared at him, unable to believe you heard the words you’ve been wanting to hear for so long, then you scooted closer to him and laid your head on his shoulder.

“I like you too Yoongi.”

In that moment his heart fluttered in excitement and held your hand in his. He finally had the courage to confess the love he had for you since the moment he met you.

Jung Hoseok

You and Hoseok became fast friends when you met at a dance competition. Your dance team was up against his, yet despite losing to him, you found him interesting and wanted to work with him. Your dance teams got together every week after that and the two of you choreographed all the dances, being impressed by both your skills. At this point you integrated both your teams to be one and y’all were training hard for an upcoming competition. You and Hoseok were practicing your parts while the others were resting and he watched closely to the movements you were making with your body, suddenly getting flustered. He knew he found you attractive but never acted on his feelings since you two had a good thing going on. No this time he saw how focused you were and how much effort you put into your dancing. You noticed he wasn’t going the same rhythm as you so you stopped.

“Hoseok? Everything okay?” “Oh uh yeah sorry. I just spaced out for a moment.” “Alright. Well let’s take a 10 minute break and we’ll come back to it. Mind coming with me to get more water?”

He nodded and followed you out into the hall outside where you refilled your water bottle and looked over at him, noticing he was staring at you.

“What?”

“Y/n…I think I should say this before we go back. The reason why I haven’t been able to focus is because you’re distracting me. In a good way though. I really like you and I want to take you out for dinner.”

“Really? Umm yes of course! Wow I didn’t expect this. Here I thought I was gonna be the one to ask you out.” “Wait, you were gonna ask me out? So you like me too?”

“Yup. Did I do a good job hiding it?”

“Yes you did. Alright then, I’ll pick you up at 7 tonight.”

After the two of you walked in hand in hand, your friends taking notice and gasped.

“It’s about time you two got together!”

Kim Namjoon

He was your college algebra tutor since you had a lot of trouble with the subject and couldn’t study by yourself. Your upperclassmen recommended him to you so you reached out to him and y’all would meet up every Tuesday and Thursday in the library. You were so intrigued by him and felt yourself falling for him every time you saw him. It was soon finals time and you were on your last study session with him before your algebra final, reviewing everything you had learned.

“So then what would x equal in this equation?”

You worked though the problem, biting your lip and showed him your work.

“x would equal 4?”

“Umm not quite. Here let’t try again y/n.”

“I’m never gonna get this Joon. I’m gonna fail this fucking final. I know it!”

“Well if that’s what you think, then I guess I’m a bad tutor.”

“No it’s not that, it’s me. My brain sucks. Like I do get some concepts but this is really kicking my ass.”

He shook his head and rubbed your back to comfort you. The sudden contact made you blush when he smiled, showing those dimples that made your heart dance.

“No don’t sell yourself short. You can do this, I believe in you. This is probably inappropriate right now but maybe after your math final, you’d like to join me for ice cream to celebrate you finishing up your first year of college. Maybe like a date, because I really like you y/n. From the moment you walked through those doors.”

You sat there with your mouth open a little, was this really attractive, nerdy guy really asking you out. How could you say no to him? Plus you knew you liked him too.

“Alright then, it’s a date Joon.”He mentally high-fived himself, happy he scored a date with the girl of his dreams.

Park Jimin

You’ve been friends with Jimin since you were kids and you grew up together doing the same things. You cared about each other very much so when one day, your boyfriend of 1 and a half years decided to call it quits, calling you a cheater because you spent so much time with Jimin and you did your best to explain to him that he was just you best friend and nothing more. Unfortunately your ex didn’t see it that way and broke off you relationship with no regrets, leaving you devastated because you loved him, or so you thought. That night you cried your heart out and called Jimin over to your house since you didn’t want to be alone and he arrived within 5 minutes of calling him.

“Oh y/n. He’s a piece of shit. He must have been really jealous and insecure to assume you were cheating on him. Forget that jerk.”

“But I loved him Jimin! I really thought he was the one.”

His heart broke for you, but it also broke for himself because he knew you would never love him the way he does. He wrapped you in his arms tightly, his face nuzzled in your hair as the familiar scent of your strawberry shampoo hit his nose and at that moment he couldn’t keep his feelings bottled anymore.

“Y/n…I know this isn’t the right time to say this but…I like you. I like you more than a friend and when you were with this jerk, I wished it was me you stayed up late talking with, I wished it was me giving you flowers and gifts, and I wished it was me you would say I love you to. I would treat you better than he ever did, and who else knows you more than I? So, if you want, I’ll leave.”

He released you from his arms and stood up to walk away but felt your hand wrap around his wrist. He was surprised and looked at you as you wiped your tears away.

“Please don’t go Jiminie…look just give me some time and we’ll talk about this okay? I’m not rejecting you at all, in fact I’m glad you told me.”

“I would never break your heart y/n. I promise you that now.”

He kisses your hand with his soft lips and lays you down so you can get some sleep, never leaving your side the rest of the day.

Kim Taehyung

Taehyung was one of your work best friends. He made your day in the office much more tolerable with his jokes and that boxy smile you loved so much. One day you sat in your cubicle, bored out of your mind with all the amount of work you had to finish before you left for the day. Your head was hurting and all you wanted to do was shove the papers in your boss’ face and walk out the door, but of course you couldn’t do that since you needed the job to eat and have a roof over your head so you put up with it. Moments later, Taehyung’s head appeared overhead and you looked up at him.

“What can I do for you sir?”

“Eh nothing, just wanted to check in with you slick. You nearly done? It’s almost 5.”

“Pshh I wish I could say I was, I think I might have to stay over time.”

“Well I can keep you company if you want.” “Oh no Taehyung, you go enjoy your Friday night. I’ll be fine.”

He pouted, knowing you’d give into his offer with that look on his face. You sighed and gave him a warm smile in response, not having to say another word as he disappeared back into his cubicle for the remaining half hour. 5 o’clock arrived and everyone except the two of you left, your work nearly done but you still had to input the information onto your computer. Taehyung was on his phone, glancing up at you every few minutes and took in the sight of you. To him you were one of the most hard-working women he’s ever met and he felt upset you weren’t appreciated as well as you deserved. Finally after an hour and half you were finished and you looked over at Taehyung who was asleep and you felt bad he stayed more time than he needed to, but mostly thankful for him keeping you company. You looked at him a little bit longer, appreciating his facial features, especially that cute little mole on his nose and shook him gently.

“Taehyung, time to wake up.”

“No 5 more minutes mom, I was just about to tell y/n I liked her.”

Your eyes widened in shock. Did he just say what you thought he said? Taehyung liked you? Not that there was a problem with that, you liked him just as much.

“Umm Tae? It’s me y/n.”

He jumped up instantly, realizing he said that and felt his cheeks flush red with embarrassment. He did not just confess to his crush while half asleep.

“Shit, you didn’t hear that right?”

“That you liked me? Yeah I did.”

“Fuck, I wanted to do it properly.”

“Tae, no worries. I like you too.”

“Really? So then would you like to go out with me tonight?”

“Absolutely.”

Jeon Jungkook

Jungkook was one of your online friends you met through gaming. He was the one you would play with almost every day and you grew closer as friends. You really hoped to meet him one day but you lived in different countries and you had no way to get to him. Except one day when y’all were talking on Discord, he surprised you saying he got money for his birthday and wanted to spend it on a plane ticket to go see you. You definitely wanted that more than anything so you two were quick to make plans and he arrived in your home country a month later. You picked him up at the airport and showed him around your hometown, doing everything you enjoyed. At the end of the day, the two of you went over to your place and started playing Overwatch. You couldn’t believe he was actually here playing video games next to you. When your team won a few matches, you took a break and sat on the couch with him.

“Damn if only you could stay forever. This is so much more fun.”

“I agree. Thanks for showing me around y/n. I just really wish I had more than a week with you.”

“Me too. I’m gonna be so sad when you leave.”

“Then we should really make the most of it then.”

The rest of the week you and Jungkook were together, you mostly played video games but you also went out and enjoyed the nightlife. It was soon the day before Jungkook had to leave so that afternoon, you helped him pack as you felt tears starting to come on.

“I don’t want you to go. I want you to stay here playing video games with me all day."

“There’s nothing more than that. You’re the only one who really understands me…I won’t find anyone else like you back home…”

“Jungkook…”

“Y/n, I need to be honest. I’m in love with you. I have been for quite some time now and I should have said it earlier but I was afraid. Now I don’t want to leave you.”

You started crying, your feelings for him starting to come up to and you hugged him tightly. There was no way you were going to let him leave after that confession but you knew he had to go home.

“I’m in love with you too…god this is so fucking hard.”

“I know…but I’m willing to do a long-distance relationship if you are. We’ll video chat every day and I’ll text you whenever. I don’t give a shit about the time difference. Whenever you need me, I’ll be there for you.”

He kissed your head softly and you held each other for as long as you could.

#bts #bts scenarios #bts reactions #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #park jimin #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook #bts fluff

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