#I am so dumb: a saga

[purple-possibilities]

tfw you unintentionally spoil yourself bc you can’t wait to read the fanfiction

[crying---mess]

i'm aware that "if not his friend than mine" is not meant like this but i love the idea of Telemachus being like "lol sucks to suck for that guy, i got a new cool friend <3"

[nekohooch]

“It will make future you very happy” I mutter grumpily as I do a trivial task that will make my life easier later

“the future is real and you’re helping” I gumble as my brain screams that it’s bored and doesn’t wanna

“If you suffer a little boredom now you suffer less later” I say through gritted teeth trying desperately to believe these affirmations

[hauntingblue]

I love this movie about.... zoro's past boyfriend being taken over by a curse

[pepprs]

tfw im taking a day off of work today (my first day off since december 😍😍😍😍) and got absolutely shit sleep w fucked up dreams i kept waking up from and just woke up to a text about the stupid fucking book chapter asking me to do one more read through of it as if i haven’t done like 5 in theladt 3 days (and by all appearances been the ONLY one doing so lol)

[cowboyg1rl]

They hate me for my wanting to listen to a song of my choice in the car during our 4 hour road trip after only one person had the aux the whole time vibes.

[beehop]

i’m really enjoying alan wake 2 but i honestly wish it didn’t have combat and was just like an atmospheric horror puzzle game

[comradecowplant]

fuck it, being a "good person" is not worth being treated like this.

[theworldwillfollow-after]

I can’t do this anymore. I need a new job.

[morganbritton132]

I’ve played soccer most of my life and I do know there are concussion headbands some people wear to keep them safe when they head the ball since concussions are very common in soccer from headers (the only safe place to head the ball is about right on your hairline and you don’t always get it right lol). Nancy and Eddie def researched and got him one after seeing him head the ball for the first time and freaked out. Steve hates wearing it

First, thank you! I am very much Eddie and Nancy in the soccer part of the saga. I don’t play sports so big thanks to all the people that are giving information and ideas.

Second, I love the idea of Nancy and Eddie being very strict parent/understanding parent about it, but Eddie is the reasonable one and Nancy might just be fully insane.

“This is bullying.”

Steve sulks deeper into the couch, crossing his arms over his jersey in a full pout. He glares at the headband and then gives Eddie a pleading look, “I don’t want it.”

“I know, baby,” Eddie says sympathetically, “But-“

“Too bad,” Nancy cuts in. “Do you know how common concussions are in soccer? You decided to play Concussion: The Sport. Dress like it.”

“No one else is wearing one. I’ll look dumb!”

“Okay, then. Maybe we don’t stop a speeding ball with our head then,” Eddie tries. “How about that?”

“No,” Nancy answers even though the question wasn’t directed at her. “Not good enough! Wear the headband or we’ll get you a helmet.”

“Eddie!”

Eddie stalls for a second and then points to Robin, “You won’t look dumb. Robin has one too.”

“She looks dumb.”

Robin’s just like, “Hey!”

Nancy moves and sits on the coffee table in front of Steve with a look that has faced down interdimensional monsters and sexist bosses all the same. Steve’s going to wear this headband or he’s not playing and they both know it when she says, “Would you rather look stupid now and be able to remember it in five year or be drooling all over yourself when your cognitive functions starts declining after another head injury.”

“Hey, too far,” Eddie chastises, hitting her shoulder. “…But take that into consideration, Stevie. I want you to have fun but-“ 

“It’s going to mess up my hair!”

Nancy throws up her hands, “Then we’ll shave your head!”

“Jesus H. Christ,” Eddie swears under his breath. “Wheeler, reel it in and take a walk. Let me talk to him. Jesus.”

[bambiilooza]

Return to Samos AU

odysseus is not the captain, eurylochus is. because epic the musical got me fixated on this guy. the au is very etm specific and for fun!! so no judgy comments or asks please. i got some of those that i had to delete. just be nice thanks.

my first post on this concept

the character's personalities have not changed just (most) of their roles. I hope this post makes sense, i am not good at typing my thoughts down

@imheretocausechaos25 add on with ur take on the plot! i think the way i see it might be different to urs but that's what makes it fun :D

characters

eury <--> ody

ctimene -> penelope

perimedes <--> polites

ares <--> athena

poseidon <--> zeus

pegasus -> polyphemous

aeolus <--> hermes

scylla <--> circe

war saga

so it's not the trojan war. epic doesn't reference the iliad much and with ares as eurylochus' mentor, it just does not make sense. but everything that happens, still happens.

there is no trojan horse. they do a traditional ambush to suit ares' style of fighting more. the vision is given to ody by poseidon and the place they're attacking is by the sea. he kills the baby by thowing him into the water (baby drowns)

full speed ahead is the same but, the lotus eaters is very different. perimedes is not going to be singing about the hope left in the world. bro is living in denial and in his cut song, he uses the lotus to numb his pain and depression. the lotus eater island, instead of being a quick break with sunshine guy, is a harsh reminder of what war does to someone. and eury ultimately makes the promise to perimedes smth like 'i know it's hard but we WILL get home and things WILL get better'

and uuh that doesn't...happen

ares shows up to tell eury to stop sugarcoating reality or smth. ya know like embrace war and the life they live instead of telling people things will be fine cuz he wants to keep the peace. face the reality!! or smth. i think the flashback would show a rational, younger eury and ares bonding.

pegasus saga

pretty much what happens in cyclops but it's with pegasus. perimedes dies :(( he doesn't get home ands things did not get better. rip.

(so does elpenor. he had some of the lotus wine before battle or smth dumb dumb. they're gay in the underworld now yippie!!)

now, ares is very much hoping they just kill pegasus because while he knows that will still piss zeus off, leaving him with no wings in a dishevelled state is worse. but eury says no and doxxes himself. and ares leaves to get that milk.

thunder saga

ok so, zeus is pissed and is sending lightning storms and stuff. they end up on an island that has some clear hermes imagery all over and as they are travellers, ody has the plan to ask him for help after calling eury out on his doxxing of self. both eury and ody go to ask hermes for help and hermes gives them a bag of moly. (funny idea that it's crushed up and they snort it but u don't have to accept that hc)

all you gotta do is not open this bag

um so most of the moly when eury wakes up is gone. um weird, i wonder why that is. and they send up stuck in another lightning storm with just a little bit of moly. zeus shows up and kills people and eurylochus uses the last of the moly to make a big pegasus to blow zeus away or smth.

nice one bro i'm sure that wont piss him off further.

scylla saga

they get aeolus' help to go to scylla's island. idk how or why but yea it happens.

then, scylla's island!! she turns men into mutts cuz i hear in the myths, she has dog heads? thought this was a fun nod to that.

now odysseus is not talking much to eury - no idea why - but polites is like 'captain, i have something that i must confess. something that i must get off my chest-' but ody is like 'yo let's go explore the island!!' they do that and they get turned into dogs.

polites is the only one who manages to escape and he, gives eurylochus the moly he had (in the case it wasn't obvious ody and polites took the moly) and is very guilty. well, you can't be mad at polites for long and the stealing of moly was only a minor inconvenience anyway.

polites doesn't tell eurylochus that it was ody's idea to steel the moly. eury has no idea ody has moly on him.

scylla vs eurylochus blah blah i miss my wife whatever. underworld time!!

underworld saga

tirisias is female presenting. that's really the only change i think.

ocean saga

so the sirens are cut. (that's the funniest thing mr jalepeno's done. i love his little jokes sm) and they end up in a cave (ooh scary cave)

this is the circe's cave. 'odysseus light up six torches' 😬

then, mutiny!! but, while i had the idea that poli and peri have a direct swap and poli stabs eurylochus. i prefer the idea he's killed by circe and that's what triggers odysseus to mutiny. i like that. that's fun. unionise!! and in the battle, ody uses the moly to make chimera - like circe is - and knock eurylochus out.

ody kills selene's horses and she tells poseidon and he shows and ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves but also someone's gotta die today and you have got the final say. the 'i have to see her' would be very painful cuz he is talking about odysseus' sister.

i'll update as the rest is released. hope this made sense. tagging ppl who's takes have helped and have expressed interest: @naori-is-nidaime-hokage @luminescence110 @awnrii

thanks for reading this :D hope u like!, i! send ask about itf ur interested, i'll try and answer

i wanna draw for this au but i do not have the motivation and get distracted lmao

this is the best thing i've made for it i think. it might be the best thing i'll ever make 😔

[duyxjpg]

Text messages between you & your f1 besties pt. 4

Summary: Just random dialogues between you & your f1 besties + your crush. Friends in question: Charles Leclerc, Lando Norris & Max Verstappen Note: Eventually the boys will take the matters in their own hands since it hurts physically to watch you (be so chaotic). Part 4 of the non ending saga is ready ofc with more chaotic Y/N content + bonus part.

Y/N always fake flirting with Charles just to annoy him. It always works..

Lando receiving his daily dose of headache at 01:34 AM as usual nothing new really..

Gossip girls are just dirty minded. Nothing wrong with Y/N and Maxie at all?!

You believe me when I say Charles is sometimes done with Y/N? Unbelievable but true.

Y/N being Y/N

What do you mean you see someone Bob? You gotta be more specific about it!!

Nothing just Y/N flirting with her babygirl Max.

Tf you mean you don't love Y/N more than Carlos? Is that even possible?

Next target 👉🏼 Christian Horner ✔️shit happens - check

Steiner just don't know yet what he is getting himself into. Y/N is not the one to take a hint and get out of trouble. Hard to believe that Y/N is a troublemaker right?

****************************************************

B o n u s :

random short insight into Y/N life with the boys:

„You are not going to do no such thing!” Y/N protested stamping her feet like a toddler, standing in the middle of the gaming hall.

“Why not? You like him, don’t you?” Charles grinned at Y/N widely. Y/N wanted to punch that smug grin off his pretty face. Y/N wanted to escape this very situation she was forced to be in, well sort of, so badly.

“Don’t grin like the cheshire cat and stop talking nonsense. How dare you?!” Y/N smacked Charles arm. Charles rubbed his arm while trying not to burst laughing.  She looked around. Nervosity took over Y/Ns every single cell. Y/N could not believe that her so called friends made plans with the most handsome and perfect f1 driver on the grid at a gaming hall and did not tell her. Out of million places, the gossip girls choose violence and took her to the gaming hall. Y/N was competitive af and hated losing. The last time she went to a gaming hall Y/N had entry ban for three months.

As Y/N wanted to protest again Lando and Max did their entry. Lando was smiling from ear to ear. What a dumb man Y/N thought, trying the urge to roll her eyes. As for Max, he had his nonchalant way of looking. Casually dressed, his hands in his pockets and smiling at Y/N. What a man Y/N thought. Her "I have a crush on Max Verstappen" vibe was visible from the moon. Awkwardly greeting both of the drivers Y/N wanted to run away. She could feel the elephant in her stomach, yes elephants no butterflies, period.

--------------------------------------------------------

“Y/N please calm down!” Lando laughed at Y/N. Y/N was horrible at racing games and currently she was losing miserably.

“I hate you all, how is this even a fair game? Racing with f1 drivers? What a fugging joke.” Y/N protested for the 100x time in the last five passing minutes.

“Since when do you care about fair play?” Charles mocked Y/N. Since I am terribly losing Y/N thought. She pointed Charles her favourite finger.

“Remember when you cold heartedly with a total serious expression explained me the rules to that one game wrongly so you could win?” Lando questioned with a fake disappointed look in his face.

“You did not!” Max laughed out loud. Laugh again you loser Y/N thought. It sounded like music in Y/N ears. What a beautiful man Y/N thought.

“It’s not my fault, it’s your own stupidity.” Y/N shrug and showed Lando her tongue. Y/N could see from the corner of her eye that Max was smiling while shaking his head. So pretty Y/N thought.

--------------------------------------------------------

“I knew that Y/N would find a way to get her ass kicked out again!” Charles laughed.

“Disappointed but not surprised…” Lando added shaking his head.

“I still don’t know how she managed to punch a hole into the fucking wall!” Max questioned with a slight surprise in his voice.

"It was an "inchident." Y/N replied. Gaining a burst of laughter from Lando, a death glare from Charles and a grin from Max.

pt. 1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3

****************************************************

Writers note: I didn't want to let you wait for too long + I thought it would be fun to show short parts of Y/Ns life with the boys. What you do you think about it? Would you like it or no?

[paledoptera]

SHADOWFELL SAGA CONTENT ARCHIVE (POST 2/2)

welcome back to the shadowfell content archive!

this is going to be the second (and hopefully last) post! keep in mind the "parts" are going to be a lot more brief than the first post, the early game was pretty fleshed out but the rest was pretty much just vague ideas.

in addition to content that would have eventually come out, i'm also gonna be showing off a couple of early drafts and ideas that got cut!!!

SO:

INTERMISSION: BATTLE TIME!!!

so this was the original draft shiiv sent me for "smackdown". for the two tracks they contributed to the game (smackdown & pasta la vista, which you can hear in the last content archive post) they basically made a full song with temporary instrumentation, then i went back and remade the song with more toby fox-y instrumentation. they are FANTASTIC at music writing and i actually kinda love this original version of smackdown, it has some unique charm in how bitcrushed it is

i don't really have much to comment about the battle system, but i'll quickly run through how it would've worked:

basically, it'd be the mario & luigi battle system but with a few small changes.

solo attacks would be weak attacks that cost little BP (bone power)

bros attacks would be strong attacks that cost lots of BP

you can skip your turn and regain BP by using a "pass" action command. this would be the main way to recover BP

i think one flaw in mario & luigi is that BP being a somewhat limited resource kind of force you to use solo (jump/hammer) moves rather than your COOL and hard to master bros moves. i feel like BP being an UNlimited resource would kind of remedy that

here are some ideas we had for bros attacks

(in bone blast, papyrus' gaster blaster would have been FRANK from papyrus belief <3)

yaboinando made this amazing concept for an attack based off of an old "dark darker yet darker" fan animation

last thing i have to say about the battle system: we actually had another form of "bros move" planned out. the whole game is food themed, so i figured it was only natural that a cooking move would be in the game!

PART 4: MOUNT CERAMIA

this area's name actually hovered between "mount ceramic" and "mount ceramia" for a while. i ended up choosing ceramia cuz i thought it sounded more mountain-y the theme is pretty unfinished, but i really like how it sounds anyways. i wanted to establish "our maiden voyage" as the overarching "area theme" for the whole game, but i thought a more percussive and tribal-sounding version of it would be cool for the mountain area

mount ceramia is a giant mountain made of plates and mugs. who would've thought!! i wanted to make a joke about "tectonic plates" here. i liked the section in superstar saga where you climb a giant mountain, which is prob the biggest inspiration of this area.

early on in the area, you meet IMPACT, a skeleton oc with a giant bone club

he was mostly a joke character, but i liked him. he was kinda like a big dumb caveman-y guy. funnily enough, i never envisioned him as a boss or villain. he was always going to be an ally.

(i didn't make it very far in the writing process of his theme song!!)

i can't be bothered to make a whole google doc for his short introduction script, so i'll just copy-paste it to here. (his text was going to be comedically large)

Impact: IMPACT!!! Impact: I AM IMPACT Impact: THE ONE WHO BONKS Papyrus: HELLO IMPACT! IT'S NICE TO- Impact: IMPACT PLAGUED BY Impact: TERRIBLE EGGPLANTS Impact: THEY HARD LIKE ROCKS Impact: AND RUIN MY GARDEN Papyrus: AH, A SKELETON IN DISTRESS! Papyrus: NO MATTER, THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS HERE TO HELP! (papyrus materializes a bone in his hand) Papyrus: I'LL SMASH THESE EGGPLANTS VALIANTLY LIKE- (papyrus swings his bone at the eggplant, it bounces off. he keeps trying) Papyrus: …LIKE SO!! Papyrus: LIKE SO!!! (the bone he's holding cracks) sans: you're cracking me up. Papyrus: SHUT IT SANS! Impact: YOU ARE BABBY BONES. Impact: WEAK LIKE TWIG! Impact: NEED MORE CALCIUM Impact: VITAMINS ARE GOOD. (impact tosses a heavy bone club at papyrus) Impact: THESE ARE REAL BONES. Impact: BONE CLUBS. Impact: IMPACT MADE THEM MYSELF. Impact: THESE ARE REAL BONKABLE. Impact: HELP ME BONK THE EGGPLANTS Impact: AND THEY ARE YOURS. the bone clubs would have basically been this game's replacement for the hammers in m&l. i liked the idea of papyrus and sans just hitting shit with comedically large bones like cavemen

this area was very egg-centric for some reason. i think it's because i got the whole "smashing-plates" thing into my head and wanted to smash other stuff.

PART 5: CARRION ISLES

in earlier versions of the game, the brightwater floats were actually called the carrion isles. i thought that name was too grim for such a brightly colored area though, so i pushed it forward!!!

i don't have any concept art for carrion, but i'd picture it as a collection of super stormy scary piers with constant thunder and scary intense music. it'd have that core-thing going where it'd have really intense area music that keeps playing in the battles.

(enemy designs by the fantastic yaboinando!)

this area was very fuzzy in my head. i wasn't really sure what to do with it, but i wanted some kind of semi sheriff minigame or battle at the end of this. the basic idea i had was that there'd be a "pirate king" and that semi would ally with them, maybe there'd be some kind of silly cannon battle between you on ferryperson's (now repaired) ship and them. another idea i had was that the "pirate king" could have been undyne, who fell into the dark world way after sans and papyrus did. they'd initially be allied with semi, but as soon as she sees her "enemies" are sans and papyrus she jumps ship and joins you on your adventure. i'm not sure how that would work with the rest of the game though!!!

one thing for certain is that after the silly battle, there'd be a big intense betrayal scene where ferryperson fights you. i SWEAR i had some concept art of this but i can't find this. it'd have ferryperson on a giant wave while papyrus and sans are floating on the collapsed remains of their boat though. kinda like this.

this theme was somewhat inspired by alphys takes action, funnily enough. i like how it sounds, though it is very unfinished

(edit) FOUND IT!!!!

this is VERY very early concept art, back when the game had more of an undertale-y UI. originally sans was actually going to be the only one in this battle since papyrus was held hostage, it'd be the thing to push him into finally fighting properly

PART 6: STEEL CALDERA & ZARELLA RESORT

quick warning!!! everything beyond this point is very fuzzy. we had NONE of this solidly planned out

this is the closest thing we have to a theme for steel caldera. it would've been a magma-y volcano area! originally this area was actually called "steamworks" and was a purple-pinkish retro-futuristic city, but undertale yellow came out and i thought it'd look like a ripoff so i trashed that idea lol

in the original script, caldera was also called "mt zarella" but i thought that sounded lame

i had a brief idea for a skeleton in undyne's knight armor called "ROMAN OF STEEL" who was gonna be the main villain for this arc, sort of a big egotistical tough-guy character.

zarella resort was gonna be the part-2 to this area, a fancy italian resort next to the volcano with heavy mafia connections.

r.v pine made some fantastic designs for the cheese mafia that i still LOVE

there was gonna be a meta joke in the resort where papyrus & sans expect to get firehand and thunderhand, but the ancient sites that those powers come from were knocked down and turned into a tourist attraction. some mafia employee goes "I'm sorry, but hand powers have been privatized."

the arc ends with papyrus getting a neverending bottle of hot sauce that he just kind of carries around and uses as a "fire" attack

INTERMISSION: MID-GAME SEMI FIGHT

early on i envisioned some kind of semi-emotional moment where sans and papyrus meet another skeleton with this big western wagon, then they sit by a campfire and talk, then go to sleep. when they wake up, semi sheriff is chasing them with his own wagon, and there'd be this massive battle. i swear i have concept art of this too but i ACTUALLY can't find it this time

PART 7: CAPRESE JUNGLE

this was a very weird area. it was gonna be a jungle based on salad i swear everything i came up with for this area came from some schizo hallucination because i don't remember coming up with any of this.

here are some iterations this strange area went through:

the area was ruled by a fancy skeleton with a fancy feathered hat called "Arial Noire". she spoke french and was a necromancer

the area was ruled by dinosaurs, like papyrus' dino egg oatmeal. there would be a part where semi tries to ambush you, but accidentally shoots a baby dino in its egg and then the baby dino gets pissed and fights papyrus and sans

the area was ruled by a flowey knockoff called "Peppermint".

PART 8: QUICK ROUNDUP OF OTHER AREAS

here are some other area ideas i had for the late-game:

sugarspice peaks, an area with cliffs and moths and stuff. i didn't actually put much thought into this area, i just wanted moths in the game. in the light world this would have been a cupboard

the badlands. this area would have started as a return to flavortown, that ends in a giant journey to catch the IMPASTA, the bandit who framed papyrus & sans and caused semi sheriff to hunt you down throughout the entire game. after you catch impasta, semi sheriff joins your party.

steampunk glacier, basically just the fridge in the light world. this would have been a heavy parallel to "joke's end" in superstar saga. i think paps & sans would have been seperated from semi sheriff (and possibly undyne) for the first half of this section, then they all meet back up near the end. sans also gets a shitty hand power, being a few cubes of dry ice that he just throws at people's eyes

PART 9: WATERFALL PALACE & FINAL BOSS

so, this is something that's oddly personal to me because the stupid, STUPID idea i had for the final boss was my entire motivation to create this game.

the waterfall palace area would be a standard area-before-final-boss-area. in the light world it would be the comedically tall kitchen sink.

at the top of the tower, there'd be a giant faucet with running water and the "dark lord", the overarching villain for this whole thing. you find the "dark lord" and fight him. a theme similar to "in the final" from bowser's inside story would play, but then the boss would be incredibly underwhelming. he'd die in like 3 hits... at which point he reveals he's not the ACTUAL dark lord, and he was just pretending to do so for status. he'd turn off the faucet... and then a giant door would reveal itself behind the great waterfall.

papyrus, sans and semi sheriff would walk through the door... and see a japanese temple.

and then, the ground rumbles.

the FINAL BOSS of this entire adventure would have been a GIGANTIC ANNOYING DOG WITH THREE HEADS. an ANNOYING CERBERUS if you will

you don't understand. the idea of this is so fucking hilarious to me. imagine going on this entire adventure just for the final boss to be an annoying dog joke. this is the first ever idea i thought of for this fucking fangame and i worked backwards from there and thought up EVERYTHING ELSE. JUST to fit the puzzle pieces together for this finale. i thought it would be so fucking funny to troll the players like this.

to bring the joke even further, in most mario & luigi games, you have to collect 8 pieces of some kind of ancient-mythical-powerful-artifact. in this game i decided on "ingredients for the legendary linguine", a bunch of seemingly magical ingredients that come together to make this uber powerful relic of a meal. there was gonna be this dramatic scene halfway through the cerberus fight where papyrus assembles the linguine, throws it at the boss and then NOTHING HAPPENS. a big point of the boss would also be that it'd think papyrus, sans & semi's attacks are just play-fighting, but once they deal enough damage then it'd get angry and just curbstomp them both and they'd seemingly be pretty much dead.

there would be this big power-of-friendship scene where sans, papyrus and semi revive, and then a giant three-headed gaster blaster dragon would be assembled from the bones of their attacks, and there'd be a bowsers-inside-story style giant battle where the megalo dragon finally defeats the annoying dog

and that, my friends, would be the ending of my half-shitpost game, because i think that would have been amazing and hilarious, but unfortunately that reality will never come to fruition.

thank you all for the support. since i posted the first half of this archive i saw a twitter thread posted about the game's cancellation. it's pretty humbling, and dare i say almost inspiring seeing how many people liked the concept so much and were saddened by its cancellation. i have a big problem with announcing projects too soon and then having to cancel them when i inevitably loose motivation, so to avoid this i'll probably be dead quiet on any future big projects until i can release SOMETHING to do with them, whether that's a demo or trailer or anything else. i hope to see you all in whatever project i start next!

SHADOWFELL SAGA ARCHIVE: PART 1 - PART 2

[gareleia]

THE KNITTING SAGA CONTINUES

update: my co-writer friend FINALLY got a tumblr account, so I can tag them now!!

previously: part 1

next: part 3 part 4 part 5

a continuation because I have no impulse control and am in dire need of more Aeolus content

first of all, let's establish one thing - and I think we can all agree on that - Aeolus loves to fuck with people. they are a benevolent(-ish?) trickster deity, and they revel in harmless pranks

as a consequence, they are on pretty good terms with Hermes. while Hermes doesn't care much for the 'small fry' and doesn't pay that much attention to the wind god most of the time, Aeolus has their winions follow the messenger god religiously (pun intended), because? where Hermes goes, shenanigans always follow.

so when they get the tea that he's apparently hanging out on that one random Greek island, playing nanny? oh, they know it's gotta be good. so naturally, they go to check it out.

well, turns out that Athena is also there, and both of them are sooo bad with babies, it's hilarious

Athena, holding baby!Telemachus: Ehhh, shouldn't it be eating more meat? it's body is so weak, it can't even hold a spear! Hermes, exasperated: oh my me, 'thena, that's not how humans work!! babies eat liquids first!! how can you not know that!! here you go, champ, drink some wine!! Aeolus, hiding in the leaves: holy shit these guys are dumb

so now they can't just leave Telemachus alone with Athena and Hermes! they might not be an expert on child rearing, but surely they can do better than those two dorks! and the baby is adorable.

so they decide to stick around. just for a little bit. a week tops.

fast forward a few years, and they have been raising the prince of Ithaca

Aeolus: *shocked pikachu face*

and Aeolus is the much needed chaotic good influence to Hermes' chaotic neutral and Athena's lawful neutral.

the thing is, Aeolus is really good at hiding. so good, in fact, that no one but Telemachus had even realized they are here. everyone else just thinks that the prince has an invisible friend which, well… they're not wrong?.. and it's not like other kids are exactly lining up to be his friends anyway, cause everyone thinks he's weird (or their parents don't want to catch the attention of the suitors)

and the gods think that it's because they hang around too much and Telemachus can't make friends because of them. so maybe they try to spend less time in Ithaca, for his own good. which only makes things worse, because now the boy is upset, and Aeolus and winions have to try extra hard to cheer him up, which pisses them off.

Athena & Hermes: oh, goodness us, we shall try not to interfere too much with the mortal affairs, so that the young prince grows up healthy and happy ¯_(ツ)_/¯ Telemachus: (T⌓T) Aeolus: ヾ( ･`⌓´･)ﾉﾞ

and then they have to subtle bully the two dumb fucks to come back.

on a less serious note, Aeolus also has a sweet tooth, especially for marshmallows (idgaf there weren't any marshmallows in Mycenaean Greece, they're a god. they can make all the damn marshmallows they want)

and of course, since they are sooo generous, they always share with Telemachus.

what they don't know(?) is that winions, who all get their own treats, also collectively share them with the baby, because they are secretly evil adorable little freaks.

which results in a very hyper prince sugar rushing seemingly out of nowhere.

Telemachus, running all around the palace and crackling madly: I AM SPEED- Penelope, unimpressed: and who, pray tell, had given my son sweets right before dinner? Athena, equally unimpressed: yes, I would also like to know. Hermes, sweating nervously: heyyyy, why are you all looking at me like that???? ( ಠ‿ಠ ) Aeolus, from behind a tree, unseen by anyone: (｡•̀U-)┘

Hermes always gets blamed.

It's the only time he doesn't do the thing

and he's seething, because nobody believes him.

[gyllenhaalstories]

BUBBLE GUM — DANNY SHARP 🫧

summary: the saga of what danny wants, danny gets continues.

warnings: curse words, smut (blowjob, spit play, breath play, mild degradation). 18+ NO MINORS.

word count: 3020

photo credits: @/stephendroff (cropped) / divider credits: @/firefly-graphics

notes: i tried to call an ambulance for my emergency case of danny obsession but for some strange reason all the ambulances were used for a bank robbery. 🚑 thank you for reading & REMEMBER TO REBLOG!

"What flavour is that gum?" Danny asked from the other side of the couch.

"Must be plastic, because that's what it tastes like now." You answered, mirroring the tone of annoyance you heard in his voice. You did not even bother looking up from your phone.

"Maybe if you stopped blowing fucking bubbles every second it would still taste good."

You rolled your eyes and blew another bubble, your lips were slightly parted as you chewed afterwards. "How am I bothering you? You're watching God knows what on full volume." Your chin pointed to the large flat screen television hung up on the wall. "I can't even hear my thoughts."

He sighed, but his eyes remained fixated on your mouth. He licked over his lips, waiting for a witty come back to hit him. It took a few seconds. "Yeah, and what are you thinking about that's so important?"

"I'm thinking about how you're getting on my nerves."

"Aww, how cute." He faked to sound enthusiastic. "That makes us twinsies 'cause I'm thinking the exact same shit about you."

You popped another bubble, obnoxiously, as you slowly turned your head to look at him. One of your brows arched in surprise when you studied his features. "Really? You should tell your face that."

He scoffed and tried to blink away the glassy look in his eyes. "Why is that?"

"If you're soooo annoyed with me," you smirked as you continued speaking, your gum stuck between your cheek and your teeth. "How come you're giving me bedroom eyes? Is there supposed to be a difference between what you look like when you're horny and when you're mad?" You marked another pause, noticing how he clenched his jaw at you talking to him in such a very bratty-like, and Danny-like, manner. "Come to think of it, it's pretty much the same with you..."

"That's it, you're fucking done." He exhaled loudly and stood up from the couch. He shut the television off and walked in your direction. He planted himself right in front of you, with his left arm stretched in your direction and his palm facing up. "Spit."

You followed the bulging veins of his forearm, slowly guiding your eyes up. You locked eyes with him and popped what would be your final bubble gum.

He moved his fingers in a come hither motion. "I said spit it."

You did not break eye contact as you placed the gum on the tip of your tongue and opened your mouth. You poked your tongue out and let the gum fall into his hand. "You're an annoying —"

"Pain in the ass, yeah you are." He interrupted you and flicked his wrist so that he could look at his watch. Good. He had plenty of time before his next gig, or, well, before one of his rich employers would come to pick up their vintage car from Danny's babysitting services.

"What now?" You swallowed away the faint taste of the gum.

"Now I'm gonna put that pretty mouth of yours to a much better use than all that bubble popping and shit talking."

You gasped, barely audibly, but of course he picked up on it. You furrowed your brows, trying to look tough and resistant in front of him. You blew your cover away when he came back from the kitchen, having now discarded of your gum and washed his hands quickly.

He was removing his shirt at the same time that he made his way towards the bedroom. "You're gonna sit there and look dumb or would you rather have fun with me? Yeah, that's what I thought." He did not even glance over his shoulders, he knew you were behind him, walking fast to catch up.

You finally made it to the bedroom, where Danny was gathering all the pillows from the bed and making a pile at the edge of the mattress.

"You're feeling fancy, we're using the bedroom this time. What happened to the kitchen table and counters?" It seemed like the little walk along the hallway where you followed him like a puppy let you gather enough courage to do more of what he prohibited you to.

"What did I fucking say about shit talking?" He threw his arms up in disbelief at your attitude. "I just wanted to be comfortable." He answered your question while removing the rest of his clothes, clumsily. His eyes were glued on you as you stripped beside him.

You excitedly made your way to the bed, wanting to join him as he was laying down by the edge of it. Only, his knee blocked you from climbing any further so that you had to stand up again.

"I said that I wanted to be comfortable." Danny answered the question you were about to shout at him. He looked around him and pulled a loose pillow from the small mountain he had built for himself. "There you go." He threw it in your direction and rested his back against the cushions. "Now get on your knees, will you? Oh, come on! Don't get pissed off at me. You have a pillow this time! And a rug! It's all fuzzy and shit. At least this time you won't fuckin' complain that the concrete floors of the warehouse give you little bruises on your poor little legs."

While he was busy with his monologue acting like he wouldn't throw a fit if the tables were turned — the bruises occurred when he had you cockwarming him while doing some accounting, for all that you knew he could have been playing that solitaire cards game on the computer or ordering enough cashmere sweaters to dress an army — you had placed the pillow on the floor next to the bed. You got down on your knees like he instructed you to and ignored the words that were coming out of his mouth until you heard something you deemed of interest.

"You like blowing bubbles so much, don't you? Exactly. That's why I'll have you blowing spit bubbles on my cock." He relaxed on the bed, spreading his legs open to give you space to kneel between them. "Spit on it baby, get it nice and ready for your mouth."

You spit as he ordered you to, again, and watched as your saliva dripped down his semi hard cock.

Your hand reached up to stroke him, but he was quicker than you.

Danny smeared your spit over the tip of his cock and the length too. He impatiently waited for you to spit on him again so he could jerk himself off to full hardness. He smirked to himself, watching you as you waited and let out lustful whimpers. He was fixated on your mouth again, paying close attention to the faint twitching of your upper lip when you believed he would finally give you a taste as well as how you licked and bit over your lips.

“Please, Danny.”

Your plea pulled him out of his reverie. “You got manners now?” Danny mocked you again, but got caught up in his own desire for you. “Say it again. Beg for my cock.”

“Please! Please, I need it so bad.”

“I know you do, baby.” And he granted you permission to taste him.

Quickly, your tongue licked a stripe from the middle of his length to his tip before you wrapped your lips around it. Your cheeks hollowed as you sucked on the tip of his cock.

Danny threw his head back when you gently caressed your tongue over his tip.

You pulled away, but you continued to use your tongue to tease him. You licked over the veins of his cock or teased the hole at the tip. You were being messy, on purpose. You drooled all over him.

It did not bother him, it was quite the opposite. He adjusted the pillows under his back so that he could reach his cock more easily — and reach you too. His hand aimed for the base of his cock and he gathered your saliva to jerk himself off as you kept focusing on his tip. "That's much better than a stupid gum, isn't it?"

The way your eyes rolled to the back of your head at the taste of his precum, moaning against him, sounded like satisfying answer to him.

"I know that's right." He licked over his lips while he stared at yours. "I can't get enough of that mouth."

You kissed his cock, watching Danny as he watched you. The two of you were bearing the same facial expressions. There was a certain blankness behind your eyes, and behind his too. You were both focused on enjoying the moment, and making it feel as good as it possibly could.

But Danny had to ruin it. Well, sort of. He enjoyed the loving kisses and slow, gentle sucking. Yet, he wanted, and needed, more. He leaned a bit closer to you, placing his left hand on your right cheek. His thumb stroked over your cheek while you took him in your mouth again. He guided your head to take him further, deeper.

You gagged audibly, making the obscene sounds that he loved so much. You pulled away to catch your breath.

He pushed your head down on him again. This game of push and pull lasted until you had successfully slobbered all over his cock and earned a loud, happy grunt from him. "Y'look so goddamn pretty like that."

You moved your head back, but stayed close to him. “Thank you.” You spoke as you panted, still trying to catch your breath.

“Come on, gimme that throat. I need to feel you struggle around me.” His hand on your cheek was insisting. He guided you down on his cock again.

Only this time, he pushed further and maintained you in place as you gagged and tried to cough.

He granted you permission to breathe. “Spit on it, baby. Make a fucking mess for me.”

You did just that, you spat all over him. You puckered your lips to smear your saliva on him.

More grunts and moans emanated from him. He could get so noisy when he wanted to — not that he was able to hold back, your mouth and your throat just felt so good around him. His right hand held his cock at the base, his fist wrapped around himself. With both of his hands busy, he had full control of how you were sucking him off. He controlled the pace, the depth, he fucked your mouth to his heart’s, and cock’s, content.

You did not put on a fight, you let out all the moans and noises that drove him crazy. Crazier than he already was.

“You wanna be used, don’t you? Yeah, I know. You’re being such a good little fleshlight for me.”

He fucked the thoughts of your head by hitting the back of your throat. You spat all over him again. You caught him watching the saliva drip down his shaft, all over his hand too, with sparkles in his eyes.

The annoyance from earlier had completely vanished. All that Danny had in his mind right now was the desire to make this moment messy and filthy. Messier and filthier than it always was.

And you loved it as much as him. You were gagging one second, drooling the next, and moaning his name the second after that. Some of your spit was dripping so far down that it stained the bed sheets. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered. It felt as though time had stopped so that Danny could properly use you.

Danny was mesmerized by your mouth, by the way your lips moulded him perfectly and adjusted to his swollen tip. He loved to see the skin of your chin and cheeks glisten from the mess you two were making. He found real pleasure in smearing it around, leaving a sticky trail on your cheeks that you would inevitably have to clean up later.

You opened your mouth and Danny took it as an invitation to trace your lips with his tip. Your lips looked so wet and glossy.

“Keep your tongue out. Just like that, just like that.” He rubbed his cockhead against your tongue, leaving strings of saliva. Then, he switched to slapping his tip against your tongue. He chuckled lightly at the scene, you just felt and looked so good.

You tried to take him in your mouth again, but you whined at your failure.

He was dragging it out and being annoying just for the sake of watching you get more and more desperate for him. It was both cute and pathetic, but mostly pathetic, how much you craved his cock and how eager you were to blow him. One quick glance at his watch was enough to remind him that he had to hurry up — and that you earned your reward.

You noticed the signs. The clock of his orgasm was ticking.

The muscles of his thighs were clenching, and his legs were closing around you. His face was painted with pleasure, but he was frowning while he tried to hold back. His chest was covered with a layer of sweat, his tan skin appeared red from how his whole body reacted to the pleasure you gave him with your mouth.

"You're gonna give it to me, babe?" You spoke, your voice sounded hoarse.

"Fuck yes I am." Still with his hand around his cock, he fucked your mouth for a few more strokes before his face clenched in bliss. "Take it."

Your lips were loosely wrapped around him and you moaned at the feeling of each rope of cum that landed on your tongue. You smiled faintly, humming along the grunts and groans that Danny was making.

"Such a good fucking girl for me." He said through gritted teeth as he finished cumming in your mouth. "Don't swallow! Don't swallow it yet. Don't you dare."

Your eyes widened and you curled your tongue slightly, trying to hold his load on it. Your mouth was open just wide enough for him to see.

For him to admire how beautiful you looked for him. He swiped his sensitive cock over your chin and teased your bottom lip. "Spit it on me. Yeah..." Danny approved, watching you obey him. His cum was dripping down his cock. "Now lick it clean. You love it when I use you like a cum rag, huh?"

You nodded your head frantically. You licked from the base of his cock back to the tip, lapping even at his balls when he moved his hand away, finally letting you touch the rest of him. "I love it!"

"I love it too, sweetheart. I love it so much. You're so good at it." He nodded, giving you permission to swallow everything. He sat up and leaned towards you. The hand that was on your cheek now held your chin up for him. "What a messy little slut."

You closed your eyes when he initiated a deep, passionate kiss. His tongue invaded your mouth and you moaned at the feeling. That kiss felt as good as the degrading words he laced with praise.

Danny enjoyed the kiss almost as much as you did. It worked as a much needed reminder for more instances of intimacy and affection between the two of you when the time called for it. Metaphorically and literally, because he was running out of time before he would get scolded for being late. He hated being late.

You gasped when he broke the kiss. You were practically offended when you caught him searching through his clothes on the floor. "What are you doing?"

"Me? Oh, I'm getting dressed. Somebody's gotta work around here." The shift in his attitude came off as so brutal. You missed the attention he was pouring over you, with his cock and with his lips during the kiss. He tossed his shirt your way and used the tank top he had worn underneath to wipe himself dry and clean from the blowjob.

You reluctantly caught the shirt in your hands and patted your chest dry first. You made your way to your face and cleaned it up roughly. "You're such a dick."

"Yeah and you love it." Danny winked at you and stood up. He slipped on his briefs and then his tight black pants. He leaned down to kiss your forehead before he walked to his dresser. He pulled out a black cashmere sweater from his vast collection. "You're mad at me? Don't be mad."

You rolled your eyes and sat on the flood with your back pressed against the bed.

"Relax, baby." He lifted his hands up as a peace offering when he saw a flash of fury in your eyes. "I'm telling you to relax. Take a shower or a bath, I don't give a damn. Clean up and dress up."

"So you can get me naked and not even fuck me again? No, thank you."

"So that I can take you out on a date. For fuck's sake, just let me talk." He scrunched his nose at you, going back to his natural state of being annoyed at your attitude. "Put on something nice and I'll pick you up. We'll go somewhere and have fun. What do you think? That's a good idea, right?"

You sighed and shrugged. "I guess that sounds nice." You smiled softly and he did the same.

"And after we've done all that, I'll rip the clothes out of you and fuck you." He fixed his watch on his wrist and did a little shimmy in front of you. You smiled, liking his outfit that he had already worn a hundred times. He surprised you with another kiss. "I might even let you on the bed this time."

"Oh, get the fuck out of here, Sharp!" You pushed on his ass when he turned around, making his way out of the bedroom.

From the hallway, he laughed then shouted the following words. "I love you too!"

[dr-spectre]

I’ve been seeing a lot of people in the Splatoon community say that Splatoon 3 ROTM will be the last time we will see the New Squidbeak Splatoon which includes Callie and Marie, but like… no?! Nintendo hasn’t outright said “hey y'all, you like the Squid Sisters and wanna see them continue to grow and develop? TOO BAD BITCH!! THEY AIN'T COMING BACK AFTER THIS GAME HA HA! IT'S JUST OFF THE PEAK AND DEEP PEAK NOW BUDDY! ENJOY!!”

When that person said in the Splatoon 3 direct “witness the finale of the Splatoon Saga” she meant the finale of the trilogy set up from Splatoon 1, the story of the New Squidbeak Splatoon vs the Octarians. The Splatoon games up until this point have always had a consistent throughline of developing the Octarians and giving more insight into the conflict between them and the Inklings. Octo Expansion was about diving deeper into the Octolings, them reaching the surface and living with the Inklings. In Splatoon 3, it seems like the Inklings have accepted the Octolings and are living peacefully alongside them. (Or they are just really dumb and still don't realize that Octolings aren't just Inklings with weird hairstyles.) 

Splatoon 3 ROTM marks the finale of the New Squidbeak Splatoon vs Octarians storyline as DJ Octavio’s entire army literally got turned into mindless furries and he became allies with the New Squidbeak Splatoon at the end of the game. Whether he’ll stay as a good guy remains to be seen but by judging Smollusk’s dialogue in Side Order where he says that Octavio is just flying around in his new machine nowadays, he’s probably gonna stay at the very least neutral to the Squidbeak Splatoon. His mission to save his race is basically over now, Octolings are living on the surface and his army is a bunch of furries. We will most likely never see the Octarians as enemies ever again in the series and the developers will move on to different threats never seen before and start a new storyline, or maybe they’ll focus on the Salmonids for Splatoon 4 but we’ll have to wait and see. 

Now I wanna roll back to the Squid Sisters, listen, aside from the Inklings, Callie and Marie are the most iconic characters in the entire franchise. If you tell a random person “do you know Splatoon?” They are probably gonna think of the Inklings, the unique gameplay and then the Squid Sisters. The only other characters that rivals their popularity are arguably Off the Hook, Deep Cut are still recognizable but they aren’t on the same level of popularity as those two groups in my opinion. 

It would genuinely be a bad financial and story mistake to never ever bring back Callie and Marie for Splatoon 4 and onwards, they are extremely iconic and profitable characters that people LOVE and wanna see more and continue having brand new adventures. Now, do I think they are gonna have the same role as before? No, I think they may take a break or step back from the Squidbeak Splatoon and let Captain 3 take control over Agent 4, Neo Agent 3, etc.

For Splatoon 4, I am guessing they are still gonna perform as the Squid Sisters, but in the main story mode or dlc I'm hoping that the developers take an Octo Expansion/Side Order route with the Squid Sisters where you get to hang out with them and learn more about them. How are they doing currently? What was it like for them at the start of their careers? Some more info about how they were as kids? How do Callie and Marie look back on the events of Splatoon 2? How do they feel about the other Idols and characters? 

There’s still so much left for these girls and just never seeing them again after Splatoon 3 would be a massive mistake and destroy all that interesting potential and lore. 

Also, the way that the Splatoon world works is that it’s an ever evolving world that follows our time, meaning that the characters age and go on new journeys as the years go by in our world. We see updates on past characters and are shown where they are at, the only times when that doesn't happen is when a character is fucking dead (Commander Tartar and the Octoweapons except for Octostomp) or they are in a location that isn’t the focus of what the writers wanna tell (C.Q. Cumber), heck even a character like Iso Padre who was a small side character in Octo Expansion managed to make an appearance in Splatoon 3 and show that he actually made it to the surface! 

Callie and Marie are not going anywhere, you can rest easy. The credits song "Wave Goodbye" is not called that in Japanese, it's called "Star of the Sea Breeze" and we all know that the localization team can make some pretty bad mistakes....