#I am so hyped for this stage of the story she is about to fully Go Through It :)

[milekael]

IS E5 TIME THE VENTURE IS BACK ⚡⚡⚡

[lilgarbitch]

Running in Circles- Two

Pairing: Noah Sebastian x Reader

CW: suggestive scenes, alcohol

Word Count: 8.5k

Author’s Note: I won’t base Y/N or her band on any specific artist or band, but I will use certain artists multiple times purely because I either want the lyrics/ genre of song to fit a theme or for particular surprises.

(Author’s Note pt 2: It’s 4:30 am and I decided I needed to stop rereading and rewriting this and just finally publish it, and as I was getting this ready, Running in Circles came on and pfft that’s a sign if I ever seen one)

Part One

Noah

A loud groan escapes my lips as I run a hand over my face. She looks so much different than she did all those years back. Yet, the exact same. And she was going to kill me. I had to hide it, but everything she did had such a substantial impact on me. From her personality, to her tattoos, her voice, and her absolutely beating my ass in Mario Kart. She was the most perfect person I had ever met. 

Being reminded, I look down at the switch in front of me and pull out my phone to take a quick picture of our score. I open Instagram and go to post it on my story, about to tag her, before remembering I haven’t actually followed her on my main account yet. I type in her username, hit follow, and then go back to posting the picture. 

It wasn’t until it was fully uploaded and I looked over at the boys that I felt the giant smile I had on my face. After catching some looks from them, I played it off, trying to let it falter, but a small smile still stayed. 

“Yeah… That’s her. For sure. I- I felt it again the second she introduced herself to me. I don’t know if I wanted to believe it, even after seeing those pictures. But seeing her in person again today just… sealed the deal.” I answered them, throwing my head back onto the couch and staring up at the ceiling. 

I just couldn’t help but think of all the memories I’ll get to make this tour. Don’t get me wrong, every tour was excellent, from traveling to beautiful places, trying new restaurants, and spending it with my brothers. But this tour would definitely be one to remember. I didn’t even care if she felt the same way, as long as we could become close and I could spend time with her. I’m just happy I finally found the girl that has plagued my mind for the longest time.

The boys and I were about to play our first festival. We managed to catch a bit of Erra’s set but had to run back to our stage to finish setting everything up and doing our warmups to get ready. I was more nervous than I’d ever been, but I knew that if I just got through this set, I would feel like I could perform anywhere. Plus, we’ve had technical difficulties in the past, but everything worked out well, and none of them were our fault. I practiced enough this week that I could probably do the whole show in my sleep. So there was nothing that could go wrong, right? 

We got the signal that we were going on any moment now, and did our best to hype each other up. We all gave Folio a quick high five before he ran out on stage. Instantly, I could hear the entire crowd cheering, and that was all I needed to be ready for this show. 

Jolly and Nick ran out a few moments later, and now I just had to wait for my signal. Shaking out my hands and feet, ensuring every last drop of my nerves were gone, I heard the music start. The crowd was louder than ever, and I felt my confidence building more and more every second. With one last exhale, my cue to run on stage was now. 

I walk around the stage and get a good view of the crowd's size as I start singing Mercy. The passion I felt in this moment was unlike anything else. The crowd cheering and singing along with every word, trying to reach and carry every note as I do. The hands in the air. The range of age and style. These people all came together to hear me, or at least wanted to hear me for the first time. I felt like a fucking king in this moment. 

Over the next few songs, I really started to get into the zone. I felt connected with each of my brothers on stage with me, every person in the crowd in front of me, and especially the lyrics as I sang them. I sang the last line of Malice and let the arm that held my mic fall, letting my breathing relax. Turning to my brothers on stage with me, I gave them all a proud smile. They all returned it in their own way as they set up for our next song. Jolly gave me a laughing smile, and Nick gave me a smirk. I walked towards Folio behind me and reached out my hand, him grasping it over his drums and giving me the brightest smile. We’ve come so far and nothing was stopping us now. 

Stepping away and back towards the front of the stage, Jolly and Nick start the first notes of The Worst In Me, Folio immediately following their lead. Putting back on a more serious demeanor, I get closer to the people in front. 

Is there nothing left to keep myself awake?

To keep these walls from caving in?

When all they ever do is try to bend and break?

Is there forgiveness in the end?

I lower to a crouch as I sing the lyrics, scanning my eyes over the people at the barricade. Their faces light up as I look at each of them and try my hardest not to smile at the reaction. 

I had you in my grip, but you’re starting to slip

Bring out the worst in me

And now it’s come to end, I think I’m giving in

You set my demons free

I watch as everyone sings along with me. I hold out my hand to them, and a few reach out, but they’re all just too far to touch. I stand and move more to my left to see more faces, not wanting to prioritize the ones right in front of me. 

I need relief, a failure’s coming on

Just breathe in deep, It’s taking far too long

I need relief, this weakness carries on

Please be a dream, or was it all along?

I stand back up and let my eyes roam over the ones standing behind those before as I continue to sing along, making eye contact with everyone I can.

It’s better when you’re with me

My eyes trail across their faces.

But it’s better left unsaid

I see them all singing along.

It’s better when I’m empty

I even catch a few tears falling down some of their faces. Matching those that fell down mine as I wrote some of these songs.

But I still let you in

Then, there it was. There she was. I had never seen her before, yet something in me knew her. I tried to move my eyes past her, but they stayed glued to hers.

It’s better when you’re with me

She wasn’t moving or singing along with the others. It was like we were both locked in a trance. I felt electricity flow through my entire body. I felt like I had been transported to a different world.

But that’s better left unsaid

When she blinked, the movement reminded my brain where I was. Reminding itself what was happening

It’s better when I’m empty

But I’ll still let you in

I was thankful a part of my brain kept working, singing on complete autopilot. Because nothing else wanted to work. I couldn’t move my eyes. My legs stayed glued to the floor. I had to try to fully rip myself away from the moment to even regain control of my body. 

Blinking a few times, I finally move from my entranced state and finish the song, keeping my eyes on anyone but her. As the song ended, I turned my back to the crowd, closed my eyes, and let out the biggest exhale. I had to refocus. We still had half a setlist to get through. 

I looked up at my band, and Nick gave me a weird look, silently asking what was wrong. I completely ignored him as I turned back around and got ready for Said & Done.

With my mind almost on full autopilot, I managed to push through and finish the rest of the set. Cheers roared through the crowd. I pulled out one earpiece to listen to them, hoping they bring me back to reality. The boys and I all walked to the front of the stage, bowed, and said our thanks, to the people in the crowd and to the festival for having us before tossing random shit out to the crowd and saying our goodbyes. 

As we were heading off the stage, it was almost like I could no longer fight it as what felt like a magnet pulled my eyes back to hers. She was still looking at me, and a shiver ran through my body. I almost think I saw the same happen to her, but I forced myself to pull away and off the stage before I got completely stuck to her again. I did my best to shake off the feeling and push it to the back of my mind as we walked back to our tour bus. The boys were eerily quiet as we walked back, or maybe my brain was just so overwhelmed with emotions that I was blocking everything out. All I knew was that I needed to sit down. 

Finally reaching the bus, I sit on one of the couches in the lounge and throw my head back, shutting my eyes. I wasn’t sure if I was trying to replay the moment or force everything out of my brain. All I knew was that the only thing I could see in my head was her eyes. And I couldn’t stop wondering what the hell that was. Who was she? What was that feeling? Why did it truly feel as if my body was being pulled towards her? Wh-

“Noah!”

My eyes shot open as I quickly sat up and looked at the boys all sitting around me.

“What?” I blandly ask, trying to play it off. I got a few odd stares in response.

“What the hell was that?” Ruffilo asked. 

Shaking my head, I replied weakly, “ I don’t know what you’re talking about,” which caused him to raise an eyebrow at me. 

“Well, first of all, something weird happened during one of the songs, and then you looked completely out of it the rest of the set, and then you ignored all of us on the walk back and for the last few minutes as we tried talking to you.” He gave me a stern look, telling me there was no lying or getting out of this. I let out a sigh and ran my hand over my face, trying to collect my thoughts. 

“I..really don’t know. I can’t even explain without sounding stupid.” Then Jolly sat beside me and put a hand on my shoulder. 

“Come on, you say stupid shit all the time; I think we’ll understand some of it,” Jolly said, causing me to give him a weak smile. 

With another sigh, I started talking. I tried my best to explain the weird trance I got put under. About how I got locked in her eyes until I literally had to rip myself away. That caused Jolly to ask if she was just really hot, to which I responded with a smack to his chest. I explained how, for the rest of the show, it was like there was a magnet I was fighting against. One that finally pulled me back in before we left the stage, and that time it felt even harder to rip away from. I did my absolute best to explain the feelings that shot through my body the entire time, but since they were nothing like I had ever felt before, I had nothing to compare them to. By the end of the venting, I had my face in my hands, trying to reground myself. 

I sat up and ran my hand through my hair as I looked back up at them all. Each more confused than the last. 

“I really don’t know how to help you here, bro. I mean, it sounds like some divine intervention shit.” Folio finally said. That caused a groan to erupt from my throat. If it really was, why now? To a person I will probably never see again? I’ll never be able to find her again. What the fuck is even happening.

2 Years Later

The thought comes and goes. It’s more like a dull yet burning yearning in my chest that hasn’t left since that day. It’s been so long that I’m starting to get convinced that I’m just going to be stuck, thinking of those eyes, until the day I die. 

I pull out my phone and look at the time, groaning when I see that it’s now two in the morning and I am just lying here, stuck in this endless cycle of thought once again. Then my eyes land on the date, causing an even larger groan. It’s been over two years since that show. It’s been over two years of the same ruminating thoughts. I roll over in my bed and open my phone, knowing that just sitting here in my thoughts will keep me up all night anyway, so I might as well try to distract myself. 

I open Instagram and switch over to my alternative account, one that can actually follow interesting things without fans speculating on why I follow so many people. I scroll through the timeline, liking a post here and there, seeing a few bands posting news or a few memes that actually put a smile on my face. Getting stuck in the endless doomscroll, I finally landed on a post that genuinely piqued my interest. It was one of Bryan’s photography friends who liked to travel and find new bands to help out with pictures. I always loved discovering new bands to listen to, so just seeing his username caught my attention, but then I finally looked at the pictures he posted. 

Oh, fuck. It was her. It was her. I could recognize the face anywhere. Even though I caught it for barely a minute, it was so engraved into the folds of my brain; seeing it every single time I closed my eyes, there was no way I couldn’t recognize it. I noticed she now had a neck tattoo that she hadn’t before, peeking over her crew neck shirt from the first picture. I scrolled through the photos, almost burning a hole through my phone as I eyed up each one with her in it. She looked utterly beautiful as she performed. I finally let my eyes fall on the caption. 

‘So incredibly thankful to have found this amazing band while traveling around the East Coast. Check them out at @ Praisingdeities and definitely check out their music. It was unlike anything I have ever heard.”

Praising Deities. Now, that’s something I could absolutely do now that I finally found her. I click on their username, it sending me to their page, before instantly following them. I scrolled through their pictures, not getting enough of finally seeing her again. I saw that there were people tagged in one of their posts, so I clicked on it and saw that one tag was right on her. @ PraisingY/N. Clicking on that, I got sent to her personal page. God, she was fucking beautiful. I was glued to every picture of her face. I almost had to force myself to scroll to the next post, my eyes not wanting to leave the last. 

Finally realizing I had spent way too long staring at her, I exited the picture and scrolled back up to the top of her page, ready to tell someone that I had found her, when I saw her bio. 

“Goddess’ out now!”

Fumbling with my phone, I hurriedly opened Spotify and typed in their name, instantly getting results. I clicked on the song ‘Goddess.’ Within seconds, my ears were filled with the most beautiful voice I had ever heard. 

You’re like a goddess in disguise

I’m drowning slowly in your eyes

It’s like you kill me by design

You’re all I desire.

Fucking tell me about it. I wouldn’t blame anyone if they wrote this song about her. With a surge of energy running through me, I bold up out of bed and out of my room. I peek into the hallway, seeing that both of the Nick’s doors were closed, but Jolly’s was open. Glancing into his room, seeing that he wasn’t there, I ran down the stairs, searching everywhere for him. Finally, I make it to our studio and practically burst through the door. Jolly and Folio are sitting in there, chatting, as Jolly held his guitar. They both look up at me in shock the second I come through the door, and I almost run to them, holding out my phone, Y/N’s Instagram account pulled up on it. Jolly’s hand reached out first, so I handed the phone to him as he looked at it confused. 

“IT’S HER! THAT’S HER!” I say, not trying to yell but accidentally doing so. Nick leaned over in his chair towards Jolly as Jolly pulled the phone closer to his face to get a better look. 

“Her? Like..her her? The one from the show?” Nick asked, still looking over at my phone in Jolly’s hands.

“Yes! I found her! She’s in a band. Oh my god, guys. She sings, and it’s like heaven. She’s like heaven. I can’t believe I fucking found her.” I say, practically pacing around the room. Nick pulls his phone out and pulls her band up on Spotify, hitting a random song, and instantly, her beautiful voice plays through the speakers.

I wear my scary mask 

When I’m afraid I don't belong

You can’t read my brain

Until it’s off

Not comin' off

Not comin' off

I stopped and stared at them as they stared at her profile on my phone, waiting for any reaction from them. They hear this, right? As I watch them scroll on my phone, looking over her selfies and group pictures of the band, one of them occasionally pointing out a tattoo or an instrument, suddenly, her voice changes, causing us to immediately stare at Nick’s phone as she starts screaming.

I’m alright

I’m alright

I’m alright

You ain’t gonna see me tonight

We all look at each other, Jolly with amazement, me with shock, and Nick with a smug look. 

“I think you found your perfect match, Noah,” Nick said with a chuckle. I felt heat rise to my cheeks. She was perfect, wasn’t she?

We talked about it until we all decided it was too late and should head to bed. I’m not sure whether it was finally finding her, or if the amount of energy I just let out finally wore me down, but I was able to get some sleep. The next day, Jolly mentioned that he followed the guitarist of their band and reached out, telling him that he loved their sound, which came with the response from their guitarist, Thomas, fangirling a little bit from the recognition. Jolly said that they had a lot in common and had been chatting about music and other interests, which was fucking fantastic.

I get brought out of my daydreaming to the sound of her voice floating through the air as they do their soundcheck. I sit up and look at the boys whose attention was also caught by the noise. I stand up and go to walk towards the stage, not so far that I’m within their view, but just enough that I can watch her as she sings a few lines of a song with her eyes on the front of stage crew, looking for confirmation that everything sounds good. Each member tests out their instruments, and then they do a small run-through of a song before heading off stage. I turn around and walk back to the boys, or try to, before realizing they were all standing behind me, watching as well. 

I give Ruffilo a small smack on the arm, laughing as we hurry back so we don’t get caught. Sitting back down in random seats, trying to play off that anything suspicious happened, her band came into the room, with the stage manager trailing behind them. 

“Alright, boys, you’re up.” the stage manager commanded, making us all stand and follow her. 

“You guys sounded amazing. I can’t wait to see your full set,” I heard Folio tell the other band from behind me as we passed them. I turned and went to give them a proud smile as a way of agreeing, but I instantly caught Y/N’s gaze, getting locked in. Within a split second, I got lost in them, only being able to break out when Jolly patted my shoulder to keep me moving. With a few blinks, I finally sent them a warm smile, quickly turned my head, and returned to heading towards the stage. 

Y/N

Bad Omens does their soundcheck as my band and I plan out our set, going over if our setlist was exactly how we wanted it to be, what we wanted to add in, where the best break would be, and what surprises we should add, as it’s something we loved doing to connect with the crowd. The next hour was a bit of a rush as the crew ensured everything was perfect, and both bands checked to ensure everything was ready. The next thing we knew, we were about to head on stage. 

I peek around the side of the stage and see the massive crowd, all either chatting with each other, hyping themselves up, or singing along with the pre-show playlist. This was is. We’ve had large shows in the past, but this was our biggest yet. Bad Omens being the first well known band to let us tour with them. I jumped up and down a bit, shaking off my nerves as my band and I got ready. Suddenly, the venue's lights darken, and the stage lights turn green, our signature color. 

“You ready?” I hear in my ear. I turn and see Cam looking down at me with a huge smile, causing me to instantly return it and give him a nod. He pats my back a few times before running on stage, waving to the crowd as they all start cheering. I watch as he sits behind his drum set and spins his sticks a few times, both putting on a show and letting out some nerves. Tommy and Tony follow lead, each giving me another pat on the back as they pass me and head to their designated sides of the stage, earning more cheers and screaming from the crowd. 

All three make a little noise to get the crowd even crazier, Tony strumming loudly, followed by Tommy playing a little riff, then Cam playing a few beats. My face was starting to hurt from the smile on my face as I watched it all play out in front of me. 

They all started the beginning of our first song, causing the crowd to quiet down and signaling that it was now my turn. After a few moments, I wait until the vocals start and walk on stage. I sing the first few lines of our first song, and the crowd goes insane and starts singing along. I had to force myself to keep my composure and not smile too wide. Over the next few songs, singing along with Tony in some of them, and having a chorus of fans in front of me join in on the ones they know, I felt so connected to everyone. I occasionally glanced at my band and felt so proud of us. It felt like being on top of the world, with my best friends standing with me the whole time. 

We finished the fourth song of our set, and I mentally prepared for our next one. It was ‘Goddess.’ I wrote this one after Tommy forced me to start journalling my feelings when I wouldn’t talk to anyone about why I was always so stuck in my head. I took all the least heartbreaking feelings out of my entries and then quickly wrote down some of the things I said and tried to make them sound as good as they could as lyrics. After the band looked over it, we made some changes, making it flow better, and then Tony mentioned that maybe we could gender-bend it to make it make more sense and cause less confusion about who I could be singing about. I won’t lie; most of our newer songs were about Noah, or at least he was in mind when writing them, but this one was probably our most blunt song, the words being my exact thoughts and feelings. 

With a cue from the band, I began singing, them joining in later.

You’re like a goddess in disguise

I’m drowning slowly in your eyes

It’s like you kill me by design

You’re all I desire

Tony and Tommy join in as we sing the next few lines.

You’re like a goddess in disguise

I’m drowning slowly in your eyes

I could cross the great divide

But only you decide

Then the music finally starts, and I get a moment to breathe before continuing, knowing that the person I wrote this about was nearby, and I honestly didn’t know how to handle it. I look forward and see everyone having an amazing time, some acting as if this was their favorite song with how they even mimicked the guitar. My eyes continued to trail over the people and then towards my bandmates as they played. Then something caught my eye. On the side stage, I saw Noah and Jolly rocking out to the music. Who knows how long they’ve been there, but now I didn’t know what to do, Noah’s presence throwing me off. With a deep exhale, I began to sing the next part, trying to rip my eyes away from Noah.

Tell me you love me

He was singing along.

Tell me you need me

He knew the words. He was staring right at me, singing along, and I couldn’t help but stare back.

Tell me you’ll never ever think about wanting to leave me

It was almost like we were singing to each other. If only he knew that I genuinely was singing to him and had been since I wrote the song.

You’re Aphrodite

God I’m in love

I tried breaking away from his gaze, but between the magnetism forcing it together and my deep desire of wanting to sing this to him for the longest time, I just couldn’t.

It’s time you ascend to your rightful place perched on your throne up above

He actually knew every word. It caught me so off guard. 

Go and take your seat at Mount Olympus

I’ll do anything for you my temptress

Even if I’m innocent, I’d confess

Kill to watch you undress

Feel your body close pressed up

The dark look in his eyes sent fire straight to my core.

Against mine

He stood there, crossing his arms against his chest, staring at me with a look I couldn’t explain.

Heart beats

In Time

Feel your chest rise

You’re all I desire

A look I could explain. A look I absolutely mirrored as I continued singing the song. A look full of desire. One that could part the Red Sea just so we could meet in the middle. I knew my feelings when I wrote this song. I knew the feelings I had when I’d stare at new pictures or videos of him at night. My eyes trailed down from his eyes to his lips as he sang along, ones I needed to feel on mine, then his neck, covered in a tattoo I so desperately wanted to touch, down to his muscular arms that have caused unspeakable thoughts to cross my mind many many times, but before I let them move down further, even though I so badly wanted to, I brought my eyes go back up to his, before finally getting the power to pull them away and look back towards the crowd as I finished the song. 

Everyone cheered as the song ended, and I did everything in my power not to look back at Noah to see his reaction. I refused to falter, especially while on stage.

We played the rest of our set, even a random song that someone in the crowd requested as it was a part of our show. At one point, while looking at my bandmates, my eyes glanced at where Jolly and Noah once stood, but they were no longer there, probably getting ready to go on stage themselves. Thank god. Hopefully, I wouldn’t run into any of them until the show was over, and I could let myself cool down in the meantime. 

We said our thanks to the crowd and hyped them up for the band they were mainly here to see before leaving the stage. The boys all ran to me, and we had a small group hug as we made our way backstage. They talked about how amazing our show was and how fun it was to have such a large crowd, especially with people singing along. I laughed and agreed, letting them take my mind off everything until we finally reached the room and sat down. Jolly and Nick were still there, chatting and messing around until we joined them. They both stood up and ran to us, giving us their praise. I looked around and let out a sigh of relief when I saw that Noah wasn’t there and I just let the boys talk until Bad Omens had to head on stage. 

Eventually, Ruffilo joined us, also sending compliments before chatting with Folio and Jolly. 

“Yeah, I don’t know where he went. He was with me watching their set for a while, but after a few songs, he just left, and I haven’t seen him since,” Jolly responded after Ruffilo asked if anyone had seen Noah. 

“We go on in less than ten minutes, so whatever the hell he’s doing, he better be quick,” Folio said as he pointed the drumsticks in his hand toward the stage. 

“If he’s not here in the next few minutes, I’m sending out a search party,” Ruffilo groaned out.

I hope he’s okay. But depending on which song he left after, I have a slight idea on where he could be. I immediately shook that thought out of my head, unable to handle if it went any further, and turned to my boys and tried letting them be my distraction from my mind as we all waited to see if we had to help search for the missing boy. 

Noah

I stood in the bathroom, washing my hands and trying to collect my thoughts. God, that fucking girl. 

Night after night, after finally finding her and hearing that exact song for the first time, not once did I have control over myself. I don’t know what I was expecting when I knew I would finally hear it live for the first time, but I wasn’t expecting her to practically serenade me in front of thousands of people as if the words were meant for me. If only she knew the effect she had on me. 

Finally feeling like my hands were clean enough,  I glanced up at myself in the mirror. My cheeks were flushed a bright red, either from thinking of her or my previous actions. I quickly bent down and splashed my face with cold water, hoping it would help, before drying myself and leaving the bathroom. I made my way back to where everyone was and let out a few deep breaths, breathing in through my nose and out my mouth, hoping to feel a little more grounded. 

“There he is!” I hear as I step into the room, making me give Ruffilo a sheepish smile. 

“Alright, let’s head over, we start any minute now,” and with that, I get pushed towards the side stage. As I moved, I happened to glance over at the other band, who were looking back at me. I gave them a smile and a quick “You guys were amazing” before I continued to be pushed. My eyes were met with Y/N’s for a split second, but I quickly shut them and turned away. I couldn’t handle that right now. I can’t let any thoughts fill my head when I need to be completely mentally on stage. 

Somehow getting my brain working again, the band and I had a blast on stage. I let myself live in the moment, not caring about anything other than singing and having the crowd sing with me. The screams and cheering were even heard through my earpiece, which was absolutely insane. We made it through most of the set, only having our two encore songs left. But that was when I was brought back to reality. As much as I tried to play it off, the boys knew who was on my mind when I wrote ‘The Death of Peace of Mind’ and ‘Just Pretend’. One getting more shit than the other, as they knew there wasn’t anyone else on my mind when they were written. Especially when she was all I ever spoke about. Actually, many of the songs on this album were written with her in mind, just with some help, or should I say arguing, from the boys, so we didn’t make this whole album dedicated to my feelings for her. But these were the two that I had fully written out while thinking of her, and the boys liked them so much that they just went with it. But I did have to lie and tell fans that I wrote ‘Just Pretend’ as a joke to not cause any suspicion. And surprisingly, they became fan favorites, so now I had to play them every night.

I had to do everything I could to not think about her while singing. I knew this would be a problem when the talk of touring with them was simply a subject, but with the emotions I went through not even an hour ago, I absolutely could not get lost in my thoughts while in front of thousands of people. 

Pushing through, I managed to get through The Death of Peace of Mind with a straight face and complete composure, pushing her face out of my mind every time it popped up, no matter how much the look in her eyes as she sang to me flashed through my head. But now, the one that held all of my emotions would be the hardest to perform without cracking. 

The song began, and as I sang, I tried my hardest to think of anything but her. I put on the best performance I could, knowing I had to show a little emotion while singing it but doing everything I could not to feel it too much, knowing the one I wanted so desperately was just backstage. I did the best I could, but the second I hit the chorus, emotion came crashing through my body. 

I can wait for you at the bottom

My eyes started to get drawn to the side of the stage, not wanting to do what she did, I only looked through my peripheral.

I can stay away if you want me to

She was there, watching.

I can wait for years if I gotta

And I have. God, I’ve waited years and years to even see her again. And I’ll wait more if it means I could get closer to her.

Heaven knows I ain’t getting over you

As much as I didn’t want to, I sang that line to her. My eyes locked on hers as I did. I hope it wasn’t as obvious to her as it was to me, but those words were for her 110%. I moved as far from her as I could, pretending like I wanted to get closer to the crowd, but it was so that I could break away from her as I continued the song. 

Finally, the song ended, and as much as I wanted to run off stage, the boys and I said our thanks and goodbyes like we always did. We tossed some memorabilia to the crowd before we could finally leave. We filed off the stage, and I let out a long sigh as the boys all high-fived each other. All I could think was how I hope these shows would get easier. 

Y/N

I honestly don’t know why I decided to watch their show with all the thoughts running through my head. Noah looked utterly mesmerizing up there in front of everyone. He was meant to be on stage. He put on the most amazing performance and sounded absolutely beautiful. The problem was that this was the first time I had seen him perform since that day. Thankfully, I was paying attention this time, but that didn’t change the tension I created when I sang to him earlier. 

Everyone was now back together after the boys stepped off stage. Once again, all chatted as Noah and I just kept to ourselves, paying attention to their conversation but not really adding anything. At one point, Nick mentioned that we should do something together to celebrate our first night, which got a mix of replies, from a few people saying that we had to head out soon for our next show tomorrow, to some being more than happy to party a little to start off the tour. Cam checked the time on his phone and said that we had a few hours to do something. We just probably shouldn’t go anywhere and just hang out here before we had to hit the road, which got a lot of good reactions, so I guess that’s what we’ll be doing. 

I started walking towards the door, letting the boys know that I was going to change quickly and just meet them out there, and headed towards the bus.

Stepping on, I walked to the back and opened up my bags, trying to find something comfy to wear, hoping I had something that wasn’t embarrassing since most of my sleep shirts weren’t the most appealing. Rummaging around, even through the other boys’ clothes, the best thing I could find was leggings and a tank top, only wearing pants because it was still a little chilly out. Tossing them on, then throwing on my slippers, I took a look in the mirror to make sure I didn’t look insane.

I wiped under my eyes to get any mascara that had smudged over the day, fixing a few of my piercings, making sure my septum wasn’t crooked, and none of the others had anything on them, and glanced over my outfit one last time. Many of my tattoos were showing because of the tank top, and I couldn’t wait to see what the other band had to say about them, knowing they were covered all day with my now dirty sweater. After one final once-over, I figured I looked good enough and walked off the bus to see the boys talking outside.  

Tommy, Tony, Jolly, and Ruffilo were all standing outside the Bad Omens’ tour bus chatting, and I assume Cam, Nick, and Noah were inside doing who the hell knows. I walk towards the group of boys outside, standing between Tommy and Ruffilo, and give Tommy’s arm a squeeze to let him know I was there, to which he turned slightly to see me and smiled as he continued to talk to Jolly about a guitar shop in one of the places we toured. I smiled at the rest of the boys, earning some back before Ruffilo’s eyes trailed to my arms. He made an exaggerated face, creating an ‘O’ with his mouth. 

“Dude, those are sick,” he said as he reached a hand out to grab my right forearm and slowly twisted my arm to check out the sleeve I had. I laughed as he looked at it in amazement. I stepped closer to him and held out both arms so he could get a better look. He eyed up the black ink sleeve I had on my right arm, the one that had cybersigilism print flowing throughout some of the pieces, connecting them all into a full sleeve. Then he looked at my left arm, which made him gasp, catching Jolly’s attention. My left was full of American Traditional pieces that all collectively came together. Jolly came closer to me to look at them all before his eyes caught my chest piece, a large bat with flowers around it. Tommy and Tony laughed at their reactions, knowing this was a common thing when men into tattoos saw me. I just smiled at them as they moved my arms. All of a sudden, Jolly pulled away and walked towards the door of the tour bus. 

“Yo, guys! You have to check this out!” he shouted in, causing the three boys to eventually trickle their way out, confused. I looked over and laughed when my eyes met Cam’s, who was also laughing when he saw them inspect me like I was some crazy art piece they found. Nick and Noah came closer, not understanding, until they got close enough to see what their friends were freaking out about. Folio joined the rest of them as Noah just stood back and watched as they pointed out specific artworks. 

“You guys wanna see something cool?” Tony asked them while laughing, making them all look over at him. That’s when he grabbed me and turned me around, which I immediately understood so I pulled my hair off my back and onto my shoulder, showing off my upper back tattoo of Baphomet that I got a few years back. It was one that was usually hidden because of my hair, but I did love showing it off. 

The second I turned away from the boys to show them, I heard a soft groan in the distance, which caused a snicker from a few of the other guys. I didn’t understand what was so funny, so I kept showing off the tattoo. 

“Dude, your tattoos are crazy.” I heard Folio say as I fixed my hair and turned back around.

“Thank you. I honestly just wanted to get covered as fast as I could, so I only have a few meaningful ones, but most are either in areas always covered or on my legs,” I replied with a smile. I earned a few more compliments before they all returned to talking about their own thing. I noticed Noah glancing at me occasionally, so I shot him a smile, trying to play off the tension I know he also felt. He gave me one back, just not a full one, almost like he was too distracted in his own head. That’s when Cam chose to get our attention. 

“So, we drinking, or what?” he asked us, clapping his hands together, causing a groan from the boys in my band, knowing how hard Cam wants us to go, and cheers from the other band. Cam jogged to our bus as the rest of us piled into the other since we were going to be hanging out there.

“Don’t touch my Fireball!” I shouted at him with a teasing smile, knowing he hated drinking Fireball; well, all the boys did, which is why it was mine. He, and multiple other buys, made a chorus of disgusted noises in response. Making me laugh. 

“Of course you like Fireball, you’re the most insane girl I’ve met,” Ruffilo said to me teasingly as I walked on the bus, causing me to laugh harder. 

“I’m honored,” I replied with a sweet smile before taking my seat next to Tony. Cam came in a minute later holding three bottles that he packed the day before when we got on the bus, and even though I gave him a little shit for it, I’m beginning to think he had the right idea as Jolly set an equal amount of bottles on the table next to his.

Tommy asked where the cups were, and Jolly started looking at the bottles, thinking about which would be the best to start off with. Tommy set some solo cups down, understandably the only option we had, as Jolly started pouring us all shots of tequila. Great. Well, let’s hope I don’t embarrass myself. 

We all toast to the tour and take our shot, the liquid fire going down painfully. I exhale as I feel the fumes in my throat, and honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if I breathed fire, not having tequila in at least a year. Thankfully, it settled in my stomach fine, even though I hadn’t eaten anything since the drive here. 

We all chat about anything and everything as a few more shots get poured. We all sat cramped in the lounge of their bus, The Bad Omens boys sitting behind the driver's seat, Jolly the closest to it and Noah the farthest, and me and my boys sat on the other side, Cam across from Noah and me across from Jolly. So I was the closest to the door, that was still open, and even though my body was heating up from the alcohol, the occasional breeze still caused goosebumps. I rubbed my arms a little bit, hoping that the alcohol would heat me some more.

 I held my cup out to Jolly across from me, signaling that I wanted a refill, and he took it, asking if I wanted anything in particular, to which I responded by shaking my head no. He poured a little vodka into my cup and handed it back, which I accepted with a smile. I guess that’s when my goosebump-covered arms caught his attention. 

“You cold?” 

“No, just a small chill from the breeze; I’m okay,” I replied

“Hun, let me run to our bus and grab you a hoodie,” Tommy offered, giving me a slightly concerned look. 

“Guys, I’m okay. I’ll warm up after I take this,” I said with a giggle, lifting my refilled cup. Suddenly, Noah stood up and reached his long arms around into one of the bunks and grabbed a hoodie, handing it out to me.

“Just wear this until you warm up.” He said. I was about to protest again, but he almost seemed annoyed, or maybe that was my drunk ears playing tricks on me, so I didn’t want to argue. I reached out and took it, giving him a smile and a small ‘thank you’ to which he responded with a slight nod and returned to talking with the boys. I put my arms through the hoodie, pulled it over my head, and slid it down, the bottom being a tighter fit, so I had to put a little extra effort into getting it over my chest, but once it was on, it was the most comfortable thing ever. It was definitely the alcohol affecting it, but going from chilly to warm with a soft hoodie felt like heaven. 

I turn my attention back to the multiple conversations happening at once. My eyes caught with Noah’s, as he was staring right at me. He cleared his throat and tried to turn away like he hadn’t been caught staring, but I just flashed him a bright drunken smile. He did a small double-take before looking back at me and laughing a little as he gave me one back. 

I mouthed the words ‘it’s so comfy’ at him as I hugged the hoodie closer to my body, and he responded with a small chuckle and mouthed a ‘good’ back. I giggled as I reached into my pocket, wanting to be on my phone for a while as I wasn’t as interested in the boy’s conversations. I clicked on the power button to turn on my phone and saw that I had a bunch of notifications, a lot more than usual, which confused me. Thinking maybe it was just me being tagged in photos from tonight’s show, I clicked on them and got taken straight to Instagram. I click on my notifications and see that they're all comments on my last post, talking about Noah once again, but this time saying how it was either cute that I kicked his ass at Mario Kart or how he went easy on me, which made me laugh, knowing how it actually played out. But I was still confused on how they knew, before I scrolled enough and saw that I was tagged in a story.

I let out a loud laugh as I clicked on it, catching a few of the boy's attention, but I waved them off as I tried silencing my giggles. I liked Noah’s story before replying to it.

“That’s what cheaters deserve ;)”

I saw Noah shift as he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He pulled it out, and I watched as he clicked on the notification and chuckle to himself before looking up at me with a smirk and then typing on his phone.

Noah- Me? The cheater? Who was the one who smacked the controller out of my hand?

I giggled before replying.

Y/N- Says the one who picked the hardest map of the whole game!

Noah- You literally got first place. you didn’t struggle that bad. 

Y/N- You’re still an ass

I heard him let out a huff which made me giggle more.

Noah- Whatever you say, sweetheart

My heart skipped a beat, but I did my best to play it off. I look over at my cup I had forgotten about and take my shot, it going down a lot easier than before, but I still made a face while shaking my head. I heard a laugh and looked up to see Noah watching me. I give him a scrunched up face to exaggerate the disgust, which he continued to laugh at.

“What are you two giggle-fucks laughing about?” Cam asked us, making me us laugh harder. “Come on, we still have a while to party, let’s get some more rounds going!” he suggested, resulting in some groans and chuckles. This tour is gonna be the death of me. 

After a few more rounds of shots, me trying to deny most of them, it was finally 3 A.M. and we had to hit the road. We said our goodbyes and headed to our bus, Tommy having to hold me as I walked up the stairs. I really should wash my face, but that’s a problem for tomorrow. 

I fell into my bunk, ready for sleep to take over as I was utterly exhausted from our first night. I pull my arm up under my head and face the wall of the bunk, closing my eyes. That’s when the smell of a citrussy amber and musk filled my nose. I lifted my head and looked down at my arm, and realized I was still wearing Noah’s hoodie. I let out a soft giggle before burying my head into the sleeve and letting sleep take over me. I fell asleep before I could see a new notification coming from my chat with Noah.

Noah- Here’s my number incase you need it ***-***-****

Noah- or to let me know when you wanna give that hoodie back ;) See you tomorrow

Part Three

[sketching-shark]

why the hell does "shadowpeach" exist lol. this is just another toxic shipping like "catradora" and I swear both are incestuous since they are siblings (not sure about wukong and lieur but its implied they are brothers), plus they both hate each other with a passion and tried to kill each other.

fdsaewaef okay anon because I have Opinions & know that people can get pretty upset over shipping I'm going to put my thoughts under the cut. Don't like don't read goes both ways <3

lmao fully aware that I'm probably the only one to think so but I really do find it funny that people keep comparing the dynamics of Sun Wukong & Macaque to Adora and Catra because from what I remember Adora was extremely hesitant to fight Catra no matter how awful she was whereas Sun Wukong was trying to kill Macaque from day 1 as soon as he found out he was going after Xiaotian. Monkie Kid does have its flaws, but I am glad that they kept the monkey king's og classic characterization of immediately going for the throat of anyone who tries to kill his friends and family.

Other heroes when some absolute ass of a villain makes an attempt on the lives of those they care about: "Sure, you've been terrorizing me for days & have tried your damnedest to murder & destroy everything I love & have repeatedly demonstrated that there is no depths you won't sink to in your vindictive quest to break me into what you want, but I'm not going to hurt you because you're still my friend & I will bend over backwards to help you 'redeem' yourself no matter how many times you brutalize me!"

Sun Wukong, the Great Sage Equal to Heaven, the second someone threatens his loved ones:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6y6chb0Qq8

but anyway yeah it has been a pretty annoying trend over the past couple of years that the ships people keep hyping to frankly ridiculous degrees as the best out there are those where the characters involved loathe each other up until the last second when the plot suddenly decides that wuv conquers all actshually or where it's the same ol' story of "wah you were my friend but then you weren't & so now I'm going to be a violently miserable asshole to you & everyone you love all while the plot & fanbase refuse to hold me accountable for my shit & also where you get blamed for my atrocious behavior but we're still paired together anyway even though everyone's mad at you for me being a shitgoblin."

Now I do need to note that I haven't seen Season 3 myself at this stage, but I do know that in Monkie Kid Sun Wukong did apparently literally kill Macaque. So in that regard the shadow monkey does have a very understandable reason to be enraged at the monkey king. And honestly that just makes me dislike shadowpeach even more than I did beforehand. Besides that just being a terrible place to start from, Sun Wukong is now more than ever left holding the blame for Macaque's relentlessly shitty behavior (but stg one of the funniest things about this is seeing people in the Monkie Kid fandom pour over JTTW to figure out other character's motivations but when it comes to the Six Eared Macaque & his og background of trying to murder-replace Sun Wukong everyone's like "suddenly I could not read <3") & for as much romantic tension as people keep insisting they have it's more like Macaque is just violently obsessed with getting revenge on Sun Wukong to the detriment of literally everything else in his 2nd chance life while Sun Wukong couldn't care less about Macaque unless Mr. Six Ears is barging into his business to try to ruin it. So it's like...why am I supposed to find this romantic?

AND THAT'S NOT EVEN GOING INTO THE WEIRD WAYS IN WHICH THE ORIGINAL MEANING OF SUN WUKONG & THE SIX EARED MACAQUE'S STORY KEEPS GETTING PUSHED ASIDE FOR THE SAKE OF SHIPPING.

Look, I totally get that when you're taking on a myth for a fan continuation or a reinterpretation then things are going to change. And I'll be the first to acknowledge that there is a metric ton of exceedingly cursed JTTW reinterpretations out there that make even the worst flaws of Monkie Kid seem benign. But honestly it's really disappointing that the og interpretation of Sun Wukong and the Six Eared Macaque as two manifestations of the same mind (or mind monkey, if you will), that the Six Eared Macaque is in fact the embodiment of Sun Wukong's worst traits that he must overcome, that as such they have often been interpreted as brothers, keeps getting buried in western fandom. Honestly to me that dynamic is just so much more interesting & holds so many more possibilities than anything you could do with a shipping dynamic, not just because it presents a really fascinating way that you could explore the contradictory thoughts and desires that every person has, but also how personal ambitions can get warped into frightening things to the point where you don't even recognize yourself, and then how you might go from there. idk, kind of feels like another bit of monoculturalization :(

Plus it's like friends of all the figures on God's green Earth that you could have shipped everyone's favorite overpowered simian with you really insist on pairing him with the dude who is literally famous for having run around in a Sun Wukong fursuit declaring that he's the one and only monkey king (X_X)

[smallersocksx]

My Problems with the Pokémon Journeys Anime

Pokémon Journeys as an anime has divided the Pokémon community in so many ways but in particular last week’s episode has sparked a lot of debate and personally, I had mixed feelings about the end result. So, I thought I would write down my opinions on the Pokémon anime in its current state and comparing it to some of the previous anime.

I feel the need to say this: these are my opinions I am just as entitled to my opinions as you are to yours, so you don’t have to read this if you don’t want to. Secondly, this will probably be a long post but I’m going to split it into sections so it’s hopefully not too overwhelming.

But these feelings have been building up and up and I think I’ll feel better writing them all down and getting them off my chest to some extent.

Introduction:

So, I’ve essentially been a fan of Pokémon for as long as I can remember particularly watching the anime when I was very young. The anime didn’t really begin to stick with me though until around AG and DP in particular. The first Pokémon game, I played was DP which is why I have a particular fondness for that series and that cast of characters and Pokémon.

I didn’t watch the series as intently around the time of BW because I found Iris’ character rather annoying and I understand she developed and grew as the series went on but that initial characterization of her kind of ruined the series for me. But I did dip in and out of the series mostly for Ash’s Snivy.

My friend recommended that I watch the XY series and I fell in love with the cast and the storytelling that the series provided as it reminded me of DP. Sun and Moon was a good series as well providing fans with some of the most heart-breaking and tear-jerking episodes to date. (And Rowlet).

When they announced that Journeys was Ash travelling around the world instead of staying and travelling in a specific region, I’ll admit I was sceptical. To be honest, I kind of preferred the old formula particularly as I’m a creature of habit myself but I decided to give this new series a chance as the premise did sound interesting and there was the potential for Ash to reunite with some of his old travelling companions.

With the benefit of hindsight, I realise this was one of the problems: the series kind of relies heavily on the nostalgia provided by older fans.

The Premise:

The whole premise of Journeys was Ash and his new friend, Goh travelling the world and there lies one of the series biggest problems. For a series that is meant to be about travelling around the world, a bulk of the series has been set in Kanto in particular Vermillion City where Sakuragi/Cerise Lab is situated. Now that shouldn’t be a problem as Ash and Go need a place to stay and go home to. The problem is we are nearly 60 episodes into the series, they hardly seem to leave Vermillion City or Kanto for that matter.

I went through all the episode synopses released so far to see how many episodes Ash and Go travelled to an alternative region. In this case a visit to a different region only counts if Ash and Goh (and Chloe) visit the region therefore episode 32 wouldn’t count:

Johto – 2 episodes

Hoenn – 4 episodes

Sinnoh – 2 episodes

Unova – 2 episodes

Kalos – 2 episodes

Alola – 1 episode

Galar – 11 episodes

Arguably, as this is meant to a Gen 8 anime, its not particularly shocking that they have visited Galar the most especially as Ash hopes to battle Leon someday. Nevertheless, the initial premise and selling point of the Journeys series is travelling the world and yet only 2/5 of the series so far has been set outside of Vermillion City. They promised the world (no pun intended) and are kind of falling flat…

 Goh and his goal:

Now Goh is certainly a character that has divided the community some love him and some definitely hate him. Personally, I’m in the middle, I like Goh’s personality I thought his rational and logical personality made him a great counterbalance for Ash. The problem I have with him is: his goal, his rapid character development, and his status as a protagonist.

1)   His Goal:

Goh’s goal is to catch every Pokémon in existence and considering there over 800 Pokémon that is a lofty goal to begin with. Initially, I thought it was an interesting goal as we never had a character wanting to catch every Pokémon as there are some trainers in the anime universe who only specialise in a specific type, some who catch only cute Pokémon, some who only catch evolutionary lines etc. Therefore, I thought this was an interesting goal and wondered how they would execute its portrayal and there lies the problem…

Goh was named after the game Pokémon Go and is essentially being used as a walking advertisement for Pokémon Go and the Let’s Go series as his gimmick is throwing a Poke Ball at a random Pokémon which can get pretty old very fast. I honestly didn’t understand the need to create a character to promote these games as it has been 4 years since the release of Pokémon Go. Arguably, they could be trying to re-ignite the hype around Pokémon Go as after the initial excitement a lot of people stopped playing or uninstalled it as it was taking up a lot of space on their phone.

One of the things, I particularly love about the anime series is not only the human cast gaining character development but their Pokémon as well. Around the AG series, the writers really begun improving on giving each Pokémon their own unique personality traits as well as traits of their species. It gave the Pokémon more depth and made them memorable for example there’s Dawn’s prideful Piplup, Brock’s weird and wonderful Sudowoodoo who would salute every time he came out of his Poke Ball, Clemont’s gluttonous Chespin and Serena’s shy Eevee to later a confident Sylveon. The list could go on and on but I think you get the point. Therefore, this gives me my second issue with Goh’s goal.

Goh’s goal is to catch every single Pokémon currently in existence, with so many Pokémon, there is difficulty feeling any attachment to them. Cinderace and Sobble (and now Grookey) are the Pokémon Goh is most seen with, needless to say, Cinderace underwent a lot of development and was interested in battling which to be honest I found a little strange as Goh’s goal doesn’t particularly align with Cinderace’s interests. Nevertheless, it is clear that Cinderace is Goh’s ace and utilises him when he does need to battle. Sobble didn’t receive any development until 26 episodes after his capture. However, aside from Cinderace and Sobble we don’t feel any particular attachment to his other Pokémon, one strength is that anime does give each of his Pokémon some spotlight like Goh using his Goldeen to teach Jinny’s Feebas how to swim elegantly but aside from that.

My final issue with Goh’s goal is development, from a story-telling point of view his goal isn’t that engaging like with some of the other goals we’ve had in the series. Take Dawn for example her goal is to be Top Coordinator in order to do that she needs to win 5 Ribbons, participate in the Grand Festival and win the Ribbon Cup. On paper it sound simple but it’s not, we have Dawn’s arc where she lost twice in the Performance Stage fell into depression, lost confidence in her abilities and was uncertain as to whether or not she was a good coordinator. It wasn’t until she befriended May and competed against her that Dawn found a renewed sense of confidence in her abilities, even after that Dawn still lost a few contests before being able to compete in the Grand Festival where even then there were a few rough moments like her battle with Ursula.

My point is even though Dawn (and May’s) goal looks simple on paper they had a lot of struggle to get there. Whereas, with Goh’s goal and the current execution of it, I don’t get that same sense of story-telling especially when he’s already caught a Legendary Pokémon, there just isn’t that same level of struggle. The most I could see Goh struggling at this moment is not catching a Pokémon the first time round.

2) His rapid development

One of the biggest issues I have with Journeys is pacing and development, and this issue isn’t just exclusive to Goh. In the beginning, Goh is a rookie trainer after catching Scorbunny and as we saw in the Flute Cup his lack of battling experience caused him to be eliminated very quickly and yet 29 episodes later, he’s defeating a Flygon with a Fire-type and using a technique Ash had once used himself in his battle against Grant. I understand Ash and Goh are close friends and understandably their traits are going to rub off on one another for example Goh’s logic and caution has rubbed off on Ash to the extent Ash had his Dragonite use Dragon Dance in his battle with Korrina. Before this, we’d never seen Ash use these types of moves in his Pokémon battles. I have no issues with Goh developing as a character, everyone loves good character development, my issue is with how rapid it is.

I’ll use Dawn’s arc as an example again, I loved it because it was well-paced, in the first season of DP Dawn was overconfident in her abilities which led to some losses particularly towards the end of the first series and Dawn didn’t fully recover from this until nearly midway through the second series of DP. Arguably, Ash’s influence has caused Goh to develop an interest in battles but I feel like we haven’t seen him go through enough battles to justify the level he is at.

3) His status as a Protagonist

To be honest, I didn’t realise Goh has a protagonist status until someone pointed it out to me, I just saw him as another one of Ash’s travelling companions. This is one of the biggest issues Goh haters have with him and that’s feeling as though Goh is taking the spotlight away from Ash and there are a lot of episodes focusing on Goh. Arguably, Ash has taken on the role of mentor like Brock had done once for him. However, my issue with Goh’s protagonist status is that I don't feel like Goh's goal justifies him having it, even in episodes focusing on Ash and his participation in the World Coronation Series, Goh still manages to catch a Pokémon which as I mentioned before it got old pretty fast. I can understand some people would see this as a good thing they are both closer towards their goals but if an episode advertises its going to focus on one character, I want it to focus on that character.

In some of the previous series when May, Dawn and Serena were participating in Contests or Showcases, Ash would generally put his training the back burner and support his friends. Likewise, his travelling companions would support him during his gym battles. In some cases, Ash would even get ideas for his own battles from watching them compete like the Counter Shield from Ash watching Dawn and Ambipom.

Sometimes, I feel like Goh is there for the sake of being there like in Episode 56, I honestly felt like him and Scyther/Scizor didn’t need to be there. The episode did focus on Ash and Farfetch’d relationship improving but I felt like the only reason Goh was there was to have his Scyther evolve their presence at the training camp didn’t really contribute anything to the story.

Ash and his Pokémon:

Whenever Ash starts a new journey, he always starts with a clean slate leaving his most recent Pokemon with Professor Oak or Kukui. One of the things that excites fans the most is guessing which new Pokemon from the new generation Ash would catch. Arguably, since Sun and Moon, certain traditions have been turned on their head. Some of these traditions included:

Ash catching the regional bird e.g., Starly, Pidove, Fletchling etc.

Catching at least one of the region’s starters

Although, in Sun and Moon, Ash never caught the regional bird and it was one of the first series with Ash not having a water-type either. However, in this current series, Ash only has 2 Generation 8 Pokémon being Farfetch’d (which will evolve into Sirfetch’d) and Dracovish. This is kind of understandable as Ash isn’t based or travelling around Galar but to be honest it’s still disappointing.

As many of you know, in the most recent episode Goh caught Grookey completing the Galar starter trio (which I’ll cover later), however, a majority of the fandom wanted Ash to have Grookey as they felt personality-wise Ash would be compatible with the Chimp Pokémon and it would continue the long-held tradition of Ash catching one of the new region’s starter Pokémon which is why this latest capture has sparked a lot of controversy with some people calling Goh a thief.

Personally, I would have liked Ash to catch Grookey but in one of the earlier episodes like when they first visited Galar. The reason for this being the storyline development and I know many will argue Ash is a Champion he doesn’t need a starter at this point but Leon in the Sword and Shield games took on and trained the starter that was left over after the Protagonist and Hop had chosen theirs. However, as I mentioned earlier one of the things, I love about the anime is each Pokémon having their own personality and character but also their own traumas and trials to overcome alongside their trainer this can be particularly reflected in the case of Ash and Infernape.

I am not trying to suggest they re-create the Ash and Infernape storyline with Ash and a Grookey but one of the ways a Pokémon develops as a character is through evolution or in some cases like Pikachu and Bulbasaur choosing not to evolve and finding strength in staying the way that they are. Pokémon when they evolve can go through personality-changes whether that be good or bad but having a Pokemon at its first evolutionary stage allows us to go through that development and journey with them.

Which is one of the issues, I have with the series, Ash caught two fully evolved Pokémon being Dragonite and Gengar. Before anyone gives me any grief, I love Dragonite and Gengar’s personalities but as they are fully evolved, we don’t get that same sense of development as we’ve had with some of Ash’s other Pokémon. The only development I could see for these two is potentially learning a new move or overcoming a stronger Pokémon alongside Ash. But having two fully evolved Pokémon makes it difficult to go on a journey of development alongside them. There is also the fact, Dragonite and Gengar are meant to be incredibly strong Pokémon and yet Ash hardly uses them.

Another one of the biggest issues in Journeys as previously mentioned is Ash not fully utilising his team. Whenever, a battle occurs Ash either uses Pikachu or Lucario, the others are kind of pushed to the side and that annoys me so much particularly with Farfetch’d and Gengar. I’ll start with Gengar, Gengar was abandoned by its previous trainer and told to wait in an abandoned building that would later become Cerise Laboratory and in the earlier half of the series (before Riolu) Ash utilised Gengar a lot like in his battle with Visquez and Team Rocket but after Riolu came along Ash used Gengar less and less. In Episode 57, Gengar was taking its anger out on Renji, Chloe and Chrysa and Chloe pointed out that it may have been angry Ash left it behind. This is what I found frustrating; Ash is kind of repeating the behaviour of Gengar’s previous trainer.

Next is Farfetch’d, personality-wise Farfetch’d reminds me of Ash’s Buizel and Hawlucha, with how prideful and aloof it is. I feel like the writers thought they couldn’t flesh out Lucario any further so they decided to focus on Farfetch’d and after two Farfetch’d-focused episodes I can’t help but feel that Farfetch’d is going to evolve in the next episode and that’s what annoys me, that is lazy writing, they haven’t given time to develop Ash and Farfetch’d relationship although it has definitely improved since Episode 56, I feel like it’s too soon. Farfetch’d has so much potential to grow as a character before evolving as I previously mentioned evolution in the Pokémon universe can contribute towards development and I feel like for Farfetch’d they’ll use it in a positive light as Sirfetch’d are noted for their fighting spirit and noble personality. But, as I mentioned before, I would have liked to have seen more development before an evolution.

Then there is Dracovish, this was a completely unexpected capture, however, many fans were surprised by how strong Dracovish was in the games. However, Dracovish was captured in Episode 50 and nearly 10 episodes later, we haven’t seen it… On the other hand, many of Dracovish’s Pokédex entries state that it can’t breathe unless its underwater, therefore, applying that logic to the anime world, may make battling with it difficult...

Team Rocket:

One of the biggest complaints’ viewers have is the series use of Team Rocket. Particularly, using their use of the Gacha machine and using them to create easy conflict. I love Team Rocket; they are basically lovable idiots to me. They’re meant to be “bad guys” but we’ve seen on many occasions they’re kindness and compassion such as rescuing a bunch of wild Ekans and Koffing from a Pokémon hunter and releasing their Arbok and Weezing to protect them whilst they distract the hunter, Meowth sympathising and trying to cheer up Litten following Stoutland’s death are just two examples of their kindness.

Nevertheless, the Journeys series has been utilising them poorly using them as convenient plot device and in my opinion Team Rocket deserve so much better than this. Initially, a lot of viewers may have found the Gacha device interesting but much like Goh throwing a Poké ball at a random Pokémon it got old fast. Similar to one of my issues with Goh, we don’t feel any attachment to the Gacha Pokémon they use unlike other series where they had their own Pokémon which I’ll get on to in a minute.

I feel like the writers missed a huge opportunity, as one of the initial selling points of the series, particularly to the older fans was nostalgia. Team Rocket keep some of their old Pokémon in Team Rocket Headquarters and as the series seems to like staying in Vermillion City, Team Rocket could have collected their old Pokémon and use them similar to when they brought some of their Hoennian Pokémon to Sinnoh. I loved some of Team Rocket’s Pokémon like James’ Mime Jr. and Inkay and Jessie’s Gourgeist and her Yanmega was noted to be strong.

Moreover, in series such as AG, DP and XY they expanded on Team Rocket’s role outside of trying to steal. Jessie showed a promising career in Pokémon Coordinating (particularly in DP) and Pokémon Performing, I loved how she became a rival for Dawn and Serena and particularly in XY, Jessie showed maturity in her loss in the Semi-Finals much to Meowth and Gourgeist’s surprise compared to when she begrudgingly congratulated Dawn on her victory. I just loved the fact in these series they expanded on Team Rocket, showed their friendship and support for one another whether it was cheering each other on from the side-lines or willingly helping Jessie in her pursuits of fame and glory. I realize in Journeys, it’s a bit difficult to expand on Team Rocket’s role in this way but they way they are currently using Team Rocket is to be honest kind of insulting to them as characters who we’ve watched grow over the years.

Chloe, Yamper and Eevee

I’ll get this out the way, I honestly love Chloe, and I’ve loved her development so far, I think they’ve gotten the pacing right for her when they’ve given her focus. I think many people like Chloe because she is similar to Serena, in the sense, she doesn’t have a goal and is discovering what she wants to do in life which is something a lot of people find relatable. I think what would be interesting for Chloe’s character if she does decide to be a Pokémon Professor after initially feeling as though the idea was being forced on her by her peers. Anyways, one of the biggest issues with Journeys is pacing, it takes ages before they actually decide to give a character development and ever since Chloe got Eevee, I feel as though Yamper has been pushed to the side (which is kind of ironic as Chloe calls Ash out on this) and I know Yamper is Professor Cerise’s Pokémon but Yamper acknowledges Chloe more than his own trainer. I feel like a great way to use Yamper was for Professor Cerise to actually give Yamper to Chloe when she was old enough to have a Pokémon, as a lot of Chloe’s earlier development was a result of her bond with Yamper.

Next is Eevee, I love Eevee it is one of my favourite Pokemon, but I also feel similar to Goh, she’s a walking advertisement for the Let’s Go Eevee game as she is unable to evolve. However, the fact that Eevee is unable to evolve makes her a good match for Chloe who is uncertain of her own dreams. Nevertheless, what I don’t understand is why they are trying to promote one of their older games in a new generation (especially when Lana’s Eevee (which don’t get me started) should have filled that role). Also, with Chloe catching Eevee, arguably, she should be joining Ash and Goh frequently, this could allow for Chloe and Eevee to develop and find their own path but aside from joining them twice in Galar, they’ve hardly left Kanto. Which is frustrating because I love Chloe and Eevee and I don’t want it to be another 20 episodes before we get any development from either of them.

Structure

I’ve realized that above I’ve kind of been focusing on the characters and some of the issues surrounding them. Arguably, one of Journeys biggest issues is structure or lack of it for that matter and pacing. Everything is all over the place but I’ll cover each section.

Pacing:

One of my biggest gripes with the series is pacing, lately we have been having back-to-back filler episodes and I don’t mind having filler every now and then to give us a break as you don’t want a show to be too content-heavy. And I don’t mind when the filler is at least entertaining but that Gulpin episode from two weeks ago was absolutely pointless, I’m sorry. So much stuff has taken place off-screen and Ash went up by 500 ranks to Rank 415 they could have taken out some of the filler episodes and used it to show Ash training at least or put it towards actual development for characters like Chloe and Eevee or Farfetch’d.

Another issue, I have with the pacing and I think a lot of you will hopefully agree is the pace of Goh catching a legendary Pokemon (which I’m in the middle about). Normally, around the end of the series, all of the respective characters have found or are closer to their goal like Dawn and Serena coming Runner-Up in their respective competitions or having confidence to keep pursuing their goal. This is normally, in the last series of that generation’s anime adaptation but Goh’s already achieved such a huge milestone towards his goal in the second series. I can’t help but feel as though this has been completely rushed.

Continuity:

Continuity in Journeys is strange, I can see it as a strength and a weakness. I’ll start off with the positives, continuity-wise I like the fact that Journeys at least references to past episodes and characters for example episode 57 Chloe’s younger brother says he’s going to a sleepover at his friend, Jinny’s house, the girl with the Feebas from episode 31. Or episode 47, Goh uses his prize from winning the Pokémon Eating Contest to have a dessert tour around Unova’s Castelia City. These small examples of continuity are something I can appreciate. But I can’t help but feel some of the past characters returning are merely fan-service for the older fans, so far, some of the character returns haven’t really contributed to the series’ narrative aside from the Alola episode contributing to Goh’s development.

A good example of utilising a past character is the Wallace Cup arc, with May and Dawn helping each other out of a losing streak and allowing Dawn to renew her confidence. I think no matter the outcome, both Coordinators gained something from the tournament even if Dawn lost to May, I think she would have had a regained her confidence but winning the Aqua Ribbon allowed her to re-affirm her self-belief and skills.

Episodic vs Linear:

Now I’ve watched a few videos on this to have a better understanding, the reason why Journeys feels so unstructured is that for some reason the writers chose to go down an episodic route instead of linear. The best example I know of episodic storytelling is Phineas and Ferb where characters and elements are introduced and can come back. But utilising episodic storytelling in a series like Pokémon feels like an unnatural choice we’re meant to be following these characters and their journeys towards achieving their goals whereas in a linear narrative this would be a lot clearer.

The Setting:

A lot of people have an issue with the fact that a series, that promises travelling the world, it really fell flat. As I have previously mentioned, so far only 2/5 of the episodes have taken place in other regions, most of the time Ash and Goh end up staying in Vermillion City. With the way things are currently being executed, I honestly would have preferred a Sword and Shield anime, with Ash at least travelling around Galar, it would allow for the Galar story to be more fleshed out instead of shoe-horned into a four-episode arc and with the announcement of the Sinnoh re-makes, I feel as though they are going to promote that in some way in the anime later on. (Perhaps with a Dawn cameo).

As I’ve been writing this, I’ve kind of realised one gripe I have with the anime that has become rather blatant as of late. That is the commercialism in the anime, I understand the anime is utilised to promote the game and re-makes of games but with this latest series the commercialism is blatant and honestly annoying. An early example of using the anime to promote a game was the Johto arc in DP to promote HeartGold and SoulSilver. Whereas, currently we have Goh, the human advertisement for Pokémon Go and Chloe’s Eevee promoting Let’s Go Eevee (which I honestly don’t see the need to advertise older games).

The controversary with Grookey…

Needless to say, the latest episode of Pokemon Journeys has sparked a lot of debate and anger particularly from Goh haters who have declared him a thief and are dropping the anime. There are some people who don’t mind Goh catching Grookey, they may have disliked the storyline they used for Goh to catch Grookey. I’ve made my feelings clear, that I would have preferred for Grookey to have been introduced much earlier and for Ash to have caught it.

However, I do have an issue with the way Goh caught Grookey as I can kind of understand why people are calling Goh a thief, I wouldn’t go that far maybe immoral at the most. The initial concept of Grookey belonging to Team Rocket was interesting but the whole story falls flat when they don’t give us any backstory like how did Team Rocket catch Grookey? why was Grookey so desparate to stay with Goh? was Grookey being mistreated by Team Rocket?

Honestly, if Grookey was being mistreated by Team Rocket, I’d understand why it’d want to leave them but this is Jessie, James and Meowth, the trio that released Mimikyu and Mareanie since they didn’t want them to be left in Team Rock Headquarters because they’d thought Mimikyu and Mareanie would be unhappy. So, I honestly can’t see the mistreatment storyline.

Also, the fact that Grookey smashed its own Poké Ball to gain its freedom kind of undermines other storylines that have seen Pokémon being abused by their trainers as they could have arguably smashed their Poké Balls to gain their freedom. Although, you could argue there is an element of fear in these cases.

I feel like if they built up the story more, I may have been more accepting but I kind of find it hypocritical in the sense Goh wants this Pokémon that belongs to someone else and it smashes its own Poké Ball to be with him. Whereas, its bad when Team Rocket try to steal someone else’s Pokémon but its okay for Goh because he’s the protagonist. Considering this is a kids anime that kind of sends the wrong message. I honestly would have found it more interesting if Grookey decided to stay with Team Rocket that would have been an interesting twist with Team Rocket having a starter Pokémon on their side. Plus, we know, James loves his Grass-types.

Conclusion:

Basically, I needed to get this off my chest and honestly, I feel much better for it. No Pokémon anime series is perfect by any means but lately I feel as though the writing has taken a huge dip and it has taken the enjoyment out of the series. I’m still trying to give the series a chance and hopefully I can warm to Grookey under Goh’s ownership, I think if the episodic formula has taken away the storytelling element that I love about the Pokémon series.

I have honestly never seen a Pokémon anime divide the community so much but I’m hoping that things begin to improve particularly if Ash’s Farfetch’d evolves in the next episode.

[duskkodesh]

Dusk Reviews #2 Electric boogaloo! I mean errrr, ASM #102! Part two of Morb’s first appearances ever and his origin story! Are you hyped? I’m hyped! I always am when I read this comic! So without further ado Amazing Spider-Man 102: 

When we last left Spidey he was between a rock and a hard place... err a chemistry major and a biology major... I mean a bat and a lizard! (Between a scaly and a furry... okay I’ll stop!!!) We get a rundown of the last comic’s events and then are thrown right into it.

We start with an excellent few pages of fight as the Lizard goes right over Spidey to attack Morb. The two duke it out in comic fashion until Morbius gets the upper hand and throws Liz into an electric apparatus, giving him a nice singe on those scales and dropping him cold. Morb of course takes advantage to try and take blood from his downed foe and Spidey gives him a kick to think about. Morb, being Morb decides this is a great time to run.

Curt wakes up and starts turning human again. They use comic logic to determine it must have been an enzyme in Morb that caused the change but Curt isn’t descaled and Spidey is still overarmed for the situation so they need more enzyme.  Meanwhile Morb finds an abandoned place to sleep and starts having nightmares. Nightmares that are his origin story OoooOoooOoooOooh! *Spooky noises* SPLASH PAGE!

Morb is a noble and well to do scientist in his *Undisclosed European  homeland on the Mediterranean* (It’s not confirmed to be Greece until years later) who has taken ill. We know this story, of course but Gil Kane packs in just some cool very futurey looking machinery, a lot of detail, and some really great characterization.

She totally and completely has him wrapped around her finger. *Cough* So anyways Morb arranges his experiment. All the last of his cash goes into a yacht and equipment to do his experiment at sea for literal legality reasons. Ethics are fungible and he’s on his way out so off they go. Nikos assists him while Martine rests aboveboard. A serum, a shock, and Morb screams so bad Emil shuts the thing down, peels off his outer suit for him, and puts him in an area with a cot to rest. When Morb comes to he’s in his ‘insulation suit’ *Cough disco vampire suit* and looking much paler. Nikos unlocks the door to this area and Morb leaps out and kills him. Fun fact here. All we see is Morb STRANGLING Emil, but it’s confirmed by years of comic canon after that what Morb did was drain him. Just... couldn’t picture that in a Spidey comic. The comics code had been very much sliced up but Spider-Man was still sold to kids.

Morb laments, thinks of going to Martine but realizes he thinks she’s a snacc now in more than one way and so decides to die. He jumps off the boat fully intending to not come up again. The only thing is once he’s actually drowning he kinda goes ‘No, screw that. I deserve to eat people!’ and swims for the surface.  Our flashback ends with him seeing the sailing ship that picks him up and him waking and eating a homeless man. A balanced breakfast.  So some time passes, shown by J. Jonah yelling about various sightings and stories. Curt and Spidey are in pursuit now! Hilariously, with Lizard hanging onto Pete for dear life. Connors has a battle with himself showing he’s reverting back his scaly self mentally. We get some asides and finally Spidey finds our vampire!!! Fight fight fight! Awww... Spidey slams him into a building. Knocking him out long enough for them to extract the ‘enzyme’ they need. Curt gets the first dose and it works! But before Pete can get the second dose Morb wakes and steals it. Thinking he can drink it to heal himself. Ummm... Morb buddy, that came OUT of you. Putting it back in ain’t gonna do crap.  He runs. Exit stage left pursued by Spider. Morb glides out over the river and Spidey gets a web on him, sweeping them both out and causing Morb to slam into the bridge. Pete is safe on a barge but he’s got one shot and takes it... snagging the serum, not Morbius who goes down faster than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest

Curt catches up and gives us our dramatic speach about how Pete faced his monsters and Morb couldn’t which is what really killed him but I’m calling BS. What killed him here was being a man that lived in Greece who couldn’t fricking SWIM. Anyways Peter is cured of the extra arms and we have a melancholy end. But thank god everyone at Marvel was like “No, this vampire is way too cool to kill.” The writing? Again wonderful and very comic book, the art is GREAT as always. That splash page is one of my fave pieces of all time! The staff here is really the same as the last issue and again it’s a 10/10. If you read one Morbius issue it should be this one for the origin story. Next time on Dusk Reviews Marvel Team-Up #3!

[olivinesea]

Space Is Only Noise If You Can See

a/n: I don’t know why I’m doing this. Maybe it’s because I handle change & uncertainty extremely poorly and that is all my life is rn. Maybe I just need to find out the extent of my evil powers. Regardless, you’re about to experience something unpleasant. TW major character death, suicide mentions, guns, violence, you name it, it’s happening. Only positive is I actually outlined the whole thing first this time so I know where we’re going (it’s not good). ~2.8k

Mr. Scratch surrendered. Or did he? Discuss.

It was always the smell that got to him. The sickly sweet scent of decaying flowers. He wondered who had made the decision to flood all funerals with the same noxious lilies. Didn’t that smell make anyone else feel ill? It lingered in the back of his throat, fogging his vision. He scowled at the offending arrangements—ostentatious wreathes shaped like hearts with hollow messages in a stock cursive font. He had been to so many funerals at this point he was reluctant to admit he sometimes got confused about where he was, who he was mourning. He tried to focus on the portrait of the deceased, but the outline kept shifting.

He blinked hard to settle his contacts, tears always had a detrimental effect on their usefulness. He needed to remember to wear his glasses to the next funeral. A twisted laugh threatened to slip, gallows humor at its finest. No matter how hard he tried, there would always be a next funeral. He wondered how many more before it was his turn, before he no longer had to be the one staying strong for everyone else, pretending the smell didn’t make him choke. He looked again, determined to figure out when he was before he was required to do anything, before he let on that he wasn’t fully present.

The coffin, shiny and black, occupied center stage. Where he thought he’d seen people solemnly walking up the aisle to say goodbye, there was only empty space. He realized he was unnervingly alone. Yet the coffin was not, it was flanked on either side by identical shapes, the light reflecting from their polished surfaces dazzling his vision. He stumbled to his feet, gripping tightly to the smooth wood of the pew in front of him. He rubbed his fingers against it, distracted by the grain, worn down by decades of touch. He looked again and there were six coffins, the once open space crowded and bent to accommodate so much loss.

He swayed, confused, it must be the damn flowers. The whole room seemed to tilt and he fell into the aisle, landing hard on his knees. He looked up just in time to see the coffins, doubled, tripled in size, rolling toward him, shuddering as they picked up speed.

Hotch gasped as he woke up on the jet, gripping the armrest tightly as he scanned the area around him. No one noticed the slight disruption, he knew well how to stay still, how to disappear in response to distress. Everyone was dozing or lost in their thoughts, drained from long days on the road. He counted their heads to check that everyone was accounted for. They were coming back from another case, he wasn’t quite sure from where. His hands shook from holding the seat too tightly so he put them in his lap, absently running his thumb across his other fingers.

He pulled out his phone to check the time and, more importantly, to check the date. He’d been struggling ever since the Scratch case to keep the details of time in order. It was embarrassing and he did his best to hide these lapses in awareness. The disorientation was always worse after one of these dreams. Though he was too practiced to show he was having nightmares, this one was starting to get to him. It had been coming back again and again since that night when he watched his team die. One right after the other, unable to stop it, unable to even be sure it wasn’t himself pulling the trigger. Though they were safe, were still alive at least, he couldn’t shake the fear. It had been so real. And it had been his fault.

He tried to tell himself to let it go, that it was only a hallucination brought on by a chemical attack from a psychopath. A man who was now in prison, successfully captured by his very alive teammates while he sat uselessly on the floor, afraid to trust his senses. However, he couldn’t quite escape the nagging fear that Scratch didn’t surrender, that in the mess of it all he had gotten away. When he let himself think about it, it never made sense that a man so calculated, so many moves ahead of them, would simply give in. He couldn’t be sure that the surrender wasn’t one of the false memories.

There was no way to distinguish between them, the real and the nightmare. He could only convince himself that his team was alive by watching carefully as they breathed whenever they weren’t looking. By their heated bickering over who would ride where. Lately he had even relinquished the driver’s seat, worried that his loosely tethered mind might sweep them all off the road. He fixated on their little habits, certain that these were things his mind couldn’t make up, proof that his family was really there in front of him. The orange fingerprints on case files and every single coffee mug disappeared from the kitchenette, lost wherever Reid set them down before forgetting, caught up in some exciting train of thought. Things that might have frustrated him before became lifelines to reality, the reality he hoped with all his heart was true.

In the immediate days after the attack, he would ask Dave, quietly, for assurance that Peter Lewis was locked up, unable to harm his team. Dave was understanding, remembering how he had been that night, eyes full of loss. But the looks he gave Hotch grew longer and more worried with each repetition of the question. Now, again unsure, he was too ashamed to ask.

It had been so hard to keep things straight in his mind. For awhile he had been writing himself notes: “Peter Lewis is in prison.” Except he would find them again later, letters added, message changed, unable to tell if it was still his handwriting. It didn’t make sense for it to be someone else, fuck he kept these notes in his pockets, in his desk drawer, in his medicine cabinet. He couldn’t remember changing them though. Maybe that was what he had written in the first place. The confusion of the notes started making him feel worse so he stopped writing them. Every time he found another one, he tore it into tiny pieces, all the while trying to convince himself nothing was wrong with his behavior, nothing was wrong with his mind.

*

On Saturday, rare in its lack of crisis, Hotch was sitting on the couch, finally free to read a book while waiting for Jack to get home. He had been invited to a movie with some school friends. He started thinking about how relieved he was that Jack had friends to do normal things with and lost track of the story. As he scanned back, a little surprised how far he’d read without absorbing any information, his phone rang. His lungs constricted. Fear was always the first reaction to the phone ringing. He leaned forward to pick it up from the coffee table, brushing away his irrational feelings. It was Spencer. That was a little odd but not unheard of. Sometimes Spencer learned a new fact that only Hotch would appreciate and couldn’t wait until they got back to the office to share it. He smiled as he answered, anticipating an excited rush of speech. Instead there was silence.

“Hello?”

Nothing. He listened hard, not sure if he could hear breathing. There was some rustling, muffled and indistinct. Maybe Spencer dialed him by accident. He hung up and tried calling back. It rang without answer. He tried one more time but got the same result, the voicemail picking up quicker the second time. He told himself there was a mundane explanation but anxiety crawled like a spider up his neck. He was about to make another call, was trying to decide who was most likely to be helpful. Penelope? Derek? But then Jack walked in the door, hyped on candy and popcorn and wanting to repeat every joke from the movie. He let it go, if it was important Spencer would call back.

*

Monday morning and Spencer wasn’t in the office. Hotch had been there since 6 am, buried in paperwork, perpetually stuck in a state of catching up. He didn’t notice the absence until JJ came to ask him if he had any update from Spencer.

“Hmm? No, I haven’t heard from him. Update on what exactly?”

“Oh well he was supposed to come over for game night on Saturday but he said he wasn’t feeling well.” She assumed he was still sick, that he had called out. It was very unlike him to skip out on work, though perhaps he was just very unwell. Images of Spencer, pale and shaky, in the depths of his addiction, flashed through both of their memories and they exchanged looks. It had been so many years, and he did such a good job of pretending it never even happened, but they still remembered. It always came back whenever some uncertainty with Reid popped up.

“Have you tried calling him?” He tried to be logical, not everything needed to be the end of the world.

“Just goes to voicemail.” She raised her eyebrows at him, the silent question—what do we do boss?

He sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. He looked at the files covering his desk, he’d already put in several hours today, he could use a break.

“I’ll go check on him.”

She started to offer to go with him but he waved her off. If Reid was sick there was no reason for both of them to be exposed. If it was something else, well, it was probably better if Hotch was alone for that too. Just as he got to the elevator, Derek caught up with him.

“I hear you’re going to check on pretty boy,” he was trying to sound light-hearted.

Hotch made a noise in response.

“I’m coming with you.”

Hotch looked over at him and saw the steel behind the statement. He wasn’t asking. Neither one needed to say aloud the worry laying just beneath the surface. That dreaded what if that swam around in the back of all their minds. He gestured for Morgan to get in the elevator ahead of him.

*

They got to Spencer’s apartment with still no word from him. He didn’t answer when they knocked on the door and though neither wanted to admit it, they were starting to panic.

“He better be passed out on cough syrup,” Morgan muttered as he flipped through his keys to find Reid’s spare, still trying to mask his fear. When they got the door open the apartment was cold and empty. The blinds were closed and the room was dark. Once they flipped the lights on everything seemed normal though unoccupied. The apartment was relatively neat, stacks of books and papers operating as some kind of decor.

“Reid?” they called even though they could tell he wasn’t there. They wandered through the small apartment, checking for signs of their friend.

“Hotch!”

Hotch caught the edge of the door with his shoulder and swore as he hurried out of the bedroom to respond to Morgan’s distressed call. He was standing in the small kitchen, looking at the counter. On it were Reid’s keys, phone and wallet. They could have been tossed there upon his arrival. But wouldn’t he have taken them if he had gone somewhere?

“Where is he?” Morgan’s voice was tight.

Hotch shook his head, this didn’t make sense. He picked up the phone and saw the list of missed calls from the office, from JJ, from him. He unlocked it and checked, heart sinking as his fear was confirmed. The last call was to his own phone on Saturday evening.

“Call Garcia,” he said, checking Reid’s messages.

“What’s going on Hotch?” Morgan couldn’t take his eyes off Reid’s phone, the frantic way Hotch was scrolling through it.

He stopped and looked up. “I…I don’t know.” The images from his dream, his nightmare were threatening to envelop him. Reid crumpled on the ground, a gunshot still ringing, dark wood with rounded edges cradling his lifeless body. The phone screen blurred when he looked at it again and he dropped it on the counter, using his hands to hold himself up.

“Hey man, are you ok?” Derek started to move closer but Hotch turned away, effectively closing himself off.

“Call Garcia, we need to start a search.” And I need to get a grip, he thought as the world around him shifted disturbingly. If something was as wrong as it seemed, they would all be looking to him to solve it. He certainly couldn’t do that if he wasn’t even sure if he was clinging to the counter or the floor.

*

It was hours later when they finally got a lead. It was not the lead that they wanted. There was a report of a body matching his description at a morgue one town over. It had been pulled out of the river in the early hours on Sunday, spotted by a couple of unhappy fishermen. There had been no wallet, no ID, no way to figure out who he belonged to. They had put him down as a John Doe, a presumed suicide and he was being held until they could get around to trying to match dental records. Garcia teared up as she relayed the information to the rest of the team.

“That can’t be him! Are you sure?” Morgan spoke more harshly than he meant to, nerves frayed by hours of fending off worst case scenarios.

Garcia hesitated, holding a folder. “They sent pictures but…I can’t look. I’m sorry.” She started crying in earnest now.

“Oh baby girl,” Morgan put a hand gently on her shoulder and pulled the file away. He was reluctant to open it as well. Hotch saw this and quickly took the folder and walked to the other side of the table where he flipped it open. His mouth formed a grim line and he didn’t have to say anything for them to know. He was glad he took it, happy to spare them the sight of waxy pale skin, the only color a deep purple beneath his closed eyes and his startlingly blue lips. It looked like he was wearing make up, like this was just another Halloween look Spencer was testing out. Hotch stared at the picture a moment too long. This is real, he told himself.

“Aaron?” Dave tried to pull his attention back to the room of anxious agents. Even though they knew, there was still the tortured hope that if he didn’t say it out loud, it wasn’t true.

He sighed, “It’s Spencer.”

Garcia let out a sob and turned into the hug that Morgan wrapped around her. JJ, sitting at the table stared into the distance.

He tried to organize the facts, solidify them in his mind by repeating them silently to himself. He ran his hand through his hair, a nervous gesture he normally suppressed to avoid having it sticking out wildly.

“I’ll go formally identify the…” He couldn’t call Spencer a body. “I’ll go see when we can get him transferred to us.”

“I can come with you,” Dave offered but Hotch declined. Looking at the others he felt like they needed someone to stay with them that would ward off anything too impulsive. They were all stunned at the moment but the feeling in the room was unsettled.

“You’re wrong.” JJ spoke without looking at him, her gaze still fixed at a spot on the far end of the table. “Spence wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t.”

He realized she was crying and felt a weight start to crush his chest. With effort he moved to where she sat, unable to find anything to say. He touched her hand but she jerked away, suddenly standing and glaring at him.

“You’re wrong,” she repeated before leaving quickly.

There was a hand at his elbow, squeezing gently. “I’ll go talk to her in a little bit. You should get going, it’s already late.”

He tried not to pull away too quickly as he nodded his thanks at Dave, who looked at him curiously.

“Are you sure you don’t want someone to come with you?”

“No, no. I’m fine. I can do it.” He hoped Dave would ignore the shake in his voice. He was fine, he could do this, he didn’t have a choice. He walked to his office to get his things, stopping for a moment to pull out Reid’s phone again. He needed to check the calls one more time, to confirm what he thought he remembered. Sure enough, his number remained the last outgoing call. He didn’t know if it was better or worse that it was real.

~Part 2~

[deanandthephantoms]

I'm going bananas for you. (a Charlie Gillespie story.)

A/N: So. I was talking with @julie-thefatones and we stumbled upon the topic of Charlie and how he loves bananas.. - listen it was 3am we we're having fun you can't blame us.- ANYWAY. i turned that conversation into this little story. Enjoy reading it haha!

Wordcount : 1328 --

Today was gonna be a good day. The cast of Julie and the Phantoms had, after 2 years of waiting, finally been able to go on a world tour. A little over two years ago Charlie met Y/N and not long after their first meeting they started dating which quickly turned into them being an official couple. Due to Covid and quarantine they practically ended up living together and both had loved every minute of it. When things stared to get better and the world slowly became normal again the official JATP-World tour was announced and as excited as Charlie was he was not excited about the fact that he would have to miss Y/N for literal months. He couldn’t be away from her for that long! So he had, one day, gotten down on his knees – causing a bit of panic and confusion, making people think he was about to propose- only to beg Y/N to come with him on tour. A proposal Y/N happily said yes to under the condition she could bring her best friend Hannah, so she wouldn’t be lonely during rehearsals and stuff. She also would have said yes to a marriage proposal by the way, but that was apparently something for another day. At this point the cast had played different states and cities and every city had organized his own Fan-action. From all waving a flashlight during unsaid Emily. to throwing colorful balloons around during Edge of great. It had been awesome. And it had inspired Y/N and Hannah to organize a little something as well.. and that brings us to Today..

I was woken up by soft kisses that were being placed all over my face. Before actually opening my eyes I enjoyed the feeling of Charlie’s arms around me, there really was no place where I felt more at home than in his arms. The soft kisses making my heart flutter. I snuggled closer to his bare warm chest, giving away that I had in fact woken up. “Morning sleepyhead” He said in the morning voice I loved all too much. “Morning” I smiled before I kissed him. “Are you ready to play your biggest show yet?” I asked him. They were playing in New York tonight, the biggest venue they had played to date. “YEAH I AM! There’s gonna be so many cool people to rock out with I can’t wait!’ Charlie was always excited to get on stage but I could tell the show tonight got him a bit over excited. “you know what babe, me too. Can’t wait to see you kill it on stage again.’ ‘ Yeaah you like seeing me pretending to be a rockstar ey?’ there was a teasing tone in his voice. “What do you mean pretend? You are a rockstar Charlie.” I reply dead serious before adding “Cause you’re a star and you rock my world.” “ooof. Not your best pick up line babe..” “Oh i know.” and then we just both laugh. There was never a grumpy start of the day with this man.

Later that day we arrived to the venue for Soundchecks and a short rehearsal for the night. That’s when I meet up with Hannah. “Did you bring the costumes for tonight?” I ask her. “She laughs at me “yeah was kind of hard to sneak them in without anyone noticing but they’re in the building” “Goooood! I’m curious to see if the fans will work with us on this one.. and even more curious to see Charlies face if they do.” Just the image of it in my head cracks me up. That’s when I hear Owens voice behind me “What’s so funny?” “nooothing.” Me and Hannah reply in our most innocent ways. “You’re up to something aren’t you?” I share a look with Hannah trying to decide whether we should tell Owen or not. That’s when Hannah makes the decision for us. “We may have kind of planned a prank on Charlie?” Prank on Charlie is all Owen needed to be fully on our side. “ooooh what are we doing?” he asks. “Well you know how he’s kind of know for eating bananas right?” “yeah. The dude is eating them all the time. But..” Hannah cuts Owen off: “Right. So as a Joke we asked all the fans to come in dressed in normal clothes, but to put on their banana costumes when now or never is about to happen . And then once he gets off stage we’ll be wearing a banana costume as well just to make it clear where the joke is coming from.” Owen bursts out in laughter “ok. That’s gold I hope it works’ he says after composing himself. “ Don’t mention a thing to Charlie okay? Just act normal or he’ll know we’re up to something” I say to Owen before he gets back on stage. He just gives me a nod as assurance.

Hannah and me are alone again and decide to log on to our fake fan account to hype up our idea one last time. We had over the last few days gotten a lot of reactions of fans who told us they were gonna do it. Now we’ll just have to wait and see what happens tonight.

After all having dinner together with the whole cast and crew the show was about to begin. The venue was starting to fill gradually and one glance into the crowd had told me and Hannah that at least everyone had gotten the message about wearing normal clothes to begin with. Seconds before the cast is about to go on stage I find Charlie, wrapping my arms around his waist I pull him close to me. “Go rock their world, rockstar” we share a deep kiss. Before I let him go up on the stage. I don’t think I will ever get used to the sound of all those screams when the cast first appears on stage. It really is deafening. They start of with a song they al wrote together and after that a few more songs by other cast members follow. The fans know that after Savannah’s ‘all eyes on me’ performance it’s time for Now or never. This is it. This is the moment me and Hannah have been waiting for all day. Sav gets off the stage and the first notes of Now or Never start to play. In no time the entire crowd starts turning yellow. “ WE DID IT Y/N! THEY’RE WEARING THEIR COSTUMES !” Hannah yells at me. “ I KNOWWW!” I just say waiting for Charlie to come on stage and see his reaction. And there he is. I see Owen laugh at the scene. Charlie seems genuinely confused at the sight of an entire crowd of bananas. He shrugs it off like a total pro and gets into the song skipping and hopping around like he always does. But that moment of confusion was enough to have me and my best friend dying of laughter. At the end of song Charlie takes the mic and goes “YOU’RE ALL LOOKING WONDERFUL TONIGHT!” making the crowd go wild with cheers. Before coming of the stage only to be greeted by me in my banana costume. He stops and looks at me with a confused face. “Youu… you did this?”

I step towards him and pull him closer to me. “Welll.. What can I say? I’m going Bananas for you and I just had to show that to you.” He laughs at me “You’re so weird. I love you.” and then pulls me in for a kiss. That’s when Owen walks by ‘You also just eat a crazy amount of bananas dude. It’s a problem.’ That made me laugh. It ruined our sweet little moment but that was fine. Charlie gives Owen a offended look. “He’s not wrong you know.. You do love you bananas” I laugh before pulling him in for another kiss.

[marshmallowfin]

Drag Race season 13 first impressions and vibes:

I do this every year and I know no one cares but here are my unwanted opinions.

Kandy Muse: Her reputation proceeds her...in a bad way. I've seen how hateful she can be online and I just can't look past it; I can just tell she's gonna annoy me until she goes home. The look however was cute and the lipsync was fun, I can tell she's talented. I wanna try and view her without bias but it's gonna be tough.

Joey Jay: I was excited for her during the promo but couldn't get past the entrance look. Really? The panty was cut too low cut, the feathers were cheep and falling apart, the hair was supposed to look wet but it just looked a mess, like she didn't have time to dry her hair before coming. Just came across so unpolished and because I only got to to see her for like a collective 15 minutes I was just unimpressed. Lipsync was unimpressive, Kandy really let her have it, the only thing I remember was her punching her tiddie and the feathers falling off all over the stage.

Denali: The look was so right, head to toe, but that contour was so rough it was distracting. She seemed fun, I can see her succeeding. Again, only getting a couple of minutes with her just really left me wanting more, it felt lacking. For someone who was on literal ice skates she was pulling some impressive stunts I honestly thought she might have the lipsync but I'm not mad at the Lala win. I'm honestly just really neutral on her. I did like when she flashed us, it's really the only thing I remember from the lipsync. (Also the repeat song? Hello? Iconic Coco Montrese lipsync from season 5? I clocked it.)

LaLa Ri: The look: pedestrian, didn't fit her in any way and was just so basic it was almost sad. Wish it were a full pant and the jacket was tailored to her. Also not everyone is able to wear those flat little wigs, wish she had teased it up. Her vibes? Her smile? Stunning. She seems so warm and friendly and kind. I want her to succeed but the ONE TIME I got to see her she looked... unimpressive. I don't remember a single think she did in the lipsync not gonna lie...

Symone: fully obsessed during the promo, so beautiful in and out of drag and her sense of style is so interesting to me. Entrence look was a little on the simple side but effective. She's also from the same area is me so I know people who know her and are fully obsessed. One of my tops for sure. The lipsync was good but I really thought Tamish let her have it. Not mad she won but I would have made it a double win. (Maybe after a night of just okay lipsyncs I'm grasping at the only one that made me excited.) Also, nothing to do with her but she's Gigi Goode's sister and Gigi is for sure talented and I really liked her for the majority of her season but she's made some choices in the have been confusing at best; I worry Symone might share some of those opinions. Here's hoping that just my paranoia.

Tamisha Iman: she came across as cookie cutter pageant girl (not that there's anything wrong with that) in her promo so I wasn't really excited for her. Very pleasantly surprised. She walked in in that red power suit and long black hair TIDDIES OUT: I was shaken. She also seems to just radiate good energy, I'm really liking her. She and Symone had the most entertaining lipsync of the night, it felt close (I do think Miss Tamish turned the party a little hard but not enough to call it rigged.) I am a little heartbroken they made her tell her cancer story episode one, immediately after getting there, she killed a lipsync, then was sent on her way, she was amicably calm tho. I really like her.

Gottmik: Another I was SUPER excited for during promos and she's really giving it too me. The look was so interesting and flattering and the face was to die for topped off by that perfect black hair. Dead and in the ground. Lipsync...left much to be desired. The song was a bop and my jaw dropped when it started but neither of them gave me what Rumors deserved. I loved both the queens so much though I almost didn't care...almost. Also FIRST FTM QUEEN EVER ON THE SHOW I'M SO JWBDJDIBEBSKDE AND IM SO HAPPY AND PROUD OF HIM. King shit never been more insane and proud to be cisn't.

Utica Queen: I CAN TELL THIS BITCH IS NEURODIVERGENT AND SO AM I!!! SAME HAT!!! I love a bitch who has a distinct aesthetic and lives on a completely different planet. Her promo look was my favorite, she's so striking and the crazy mad hatter look was EVERYTHING. Entrance look was equally crazy and somehow all worked (maybe not the strawberry but I still loved the strawberry). I thought she was so fun during the lipsync and I couldn't take my eyes off of her (again, that might be because I find her so striking) I honestly thought she would win but again the lipsync as a whole was a little underwhelming. Her sad face at the end of the episode broke my heart, this premier was a little cruel to the losers.

Rosé: not gonna lie, I was disappointed in Rosé. Her look was so crazy and cool for the promo and she came into the competition wearing a pink cropped biker jacket and panty? (The look was cute enough and I like the designer but it was so meh) The hair was lovely and I thought the missing tooth was funny, it was a shame she wiped it off before anyone could see it. I totally understand being bitter about hyping yourself up as a LIPSYNC QUEEN and a major nyc girl and so established especially compared to someone like Olivia who has only be doing drag for a year and a half..then you lose...and you assume you're going home first...I TOTALLY GET IT but the edit worked on me and I was like wow what a bitch. The only person who has claimed to be nyc royalty I actually vibed with was Peppermint, I think it's like an instant turn off for someone to say they're the best whatever of nyc. (Not that I dislike nyc girls, just the ones that claim to be hot shit.)

Olivia Lux: Sweet summer child. Precious baby angel. I found her so cute and charming and silly in her promo and she came in in that VELVET (?) HALF PINK HALF YELLOW GOWN WITH THE ROUGING and that BEAUTIFUL blonde hair that looked so good again her sink and the long as ponytail and the fucking waves like a designer Barbie fresh out the box, I'm living. Another one of my favorites, the energy is just so right and so there. Had my 2nd favorite lipsync of the night and I was so proud of her for besting Rosé, someone she clearly looks up too so much. I would LOVE for this bitch to win but I can tell she's gonna be a Miss Congeniality.

Tina Burner: I can tell this one is gonna annoy me. Again a nyc royalty claim which is an instant minus, the look was not it (I love the designer but the look was so wrong), the hair hat was fun in concept but that red hair just didn't look right on her, she was definitely giving me sexy hotdog ketchup and mustard fantasy, and I don't know why but her face is just kinda scary to me?? It like makes me feel like I'm going crazy. I didn't really like her in the promos either, she just comes across as really full of herself. I'm like instantly getting the worst vibes. I have seen people online saying she's really funny and turns the fucking party but I found the lipsync boring and hard to pay attention too. I've seen so many people saying she's IT so I want her to prove me wrong, make me eat my hat.

Kahmora Hall: So insanely beautiful, a WOMAN, how DARE SHE. She's our current reignings sister so she has huge shoes to fill and I'm ready for her to fill them. I actually kinda liked her lipsync, she was doing the damn thing in a gown which is impressive. Wish I had gotten a little more of her. I'm sorta neutral on this one too, nothing from her promo or literal 15 minutes if screen time really impressed me nor turned me off of her.

Elliott with 2 Ts: The second she said she was a "housewife with a secret" I was sold. Something about that instantly endeared her to me and have not been able to stop saying it since. I thought the red two piece was nice and the cropped jacket was fun but the hair was not right. I find her so pretty in like an alien way. I honestly thought her lipsync was the best and I found myself drawn to her but it's so hard to tell with more then 2 people. Promo look was very like cool mom and I vibe.

As a whole...a very underwhelming premier, especially after the last seasons. Seemed really rushed and unnecessarily cruel to the losing girls. Especially telling them they're all going home then saying they're not but they need to choose one queen from them to go home...I'm so worried they're all gonna take one look at Utica and be like 'get this weirdo out of here', if a single person picks her to "go home" I'll scream and cry and piss on the floor.

[popculty]

52 Films by Women: 2020 Edition

Another annual challenge complete!

Last year, I focused on diversifying my list. This year I kept that intention but focused on watching more non-American films and films from the 20th century. Specifically, I sought out Agnès Varda’s entire filmography, after her death in 2019. (I was not disappointed - What a filmmaking legend we lost.) 

I also kept a film log for the first time and have included some of my thoughts on several films from that log. I made a point of including reviews both positive and negative, because I think it’s important to acknowledge the variability and breadth of the canon, so as not to put every film directed by a woman on a pedestal. (Although movies directed by women must clear a much higher bar to be greenlit, meaning generally higher quality...But that’s an essay for another day :)

* = directed by a woman of color

bold = fave

1. The Rhythm Section (2020) dir. Reed Morano - Not as good as it could have been, given Morano’s proven skill behind the camera, but also not nearly as bad as the critics made it out to be. And unbelievably refreshing to see a female revenge story not driven by sexual assault or the loss of a husband/child.

2. Cléo de 5 à 7 (1962) dir. Agnès Varda - If you ever wanted to take a real-time tour of Paris circa 1960, this is the film for you.

3. Little Women (2019) dir. Greta Gerwig - Still my favorite Little Women adaptation. I will re-watch it every year and cry.

4. Varda by Agnès (2019) dir. Agnès Varda & Didier Rouget

5. Booksmart (2019) dir. Olivia Wilde - An instant classic high school comedy romp that subverts all the gross tropes of its 1980s predecessors.

6. Girls of the Sun (2018) dir. Eva Husson

7. Blue My Mind (2017) dir. Lisa Brühlmann

8. Portrait of a Lady On Fire (2019) dir. Céline Sciamma - Believe the hype. This film is a master thesis on the female gaze, and also just really effing gorgeous.

9. Belle Epine (2010) dir. Rebecca Zlotowski

10. Vamps (2012) dir. Amy Heckerling - With Krysten Ritter and Alicia Silverstone as modern-day vampires, I was so ready for this movie. But it feels like a bad stage play or a sit-com that’s missing a laugh-track. Bummer.

11. *Birds of Prey (2020) dir. Cathy Yan - Where has this movie been all our lives?? Skip the next onslaught of Snyder-verse grim-darkery and give me two more of these STAT! 

12. She’s Missing (2019) dir. Alexandra McGuinness

13. The Mustang (2019) dir. Laure de Clermont-Tonnere - Trigger warning for the “protagonist” repeatedly punching a horse in the chest. I noped right out of there.

14. Monster (2003) dir. Patty Jenkins – I first watched this movie when I was probably too young and haven’t revisited it since. The rape scene traumatized me as a kid, but as an adult I appreciate how that trauma is not the center of the movie, or even of Aileen’s life. Everyone still talks about how Charlize “went ugly” for this role, but the biggest transformation here isn’t aesthetic, it’s physical – the way Theron replicates Wuernos’ mannerisms, way of speaking, and physicality. That’s why she won the Oscar. I also love that Jenkins calls the film “Monster” (which everyone labels Aileen), but then actually uses it to tell the story of how she fell in love with a woman when she was at her lowest, and that saved her. That’s kind of beautiful, and I’m glad I re-watched it so that I could see the story in that light, instead of the general memory I had of it being a good, feel-bad movie. It’s so much more than that.

15. Water Lilies (2007) dir. Céline Sciamma – Sciamma’s screenwriting and directorial debut, the first in her trilogy on youth, is as painfully beautiful as its sequels (Tomboy and Girlhood). It’s also one of the rare films that explores the overlap of queerness and girl friendships.

16. The Trouble with Angels (1966) dir. Ida Lupino – Movies about shenanigan-based female friendships are such rare delights. Rosalind Russel is divine as Mother Superior, and Hayley Mills as “scathingly brilliant” as the pranks she plays on her. Ida Lupino’s skill as an editor only enhances her directing, providing some truly iconic visual gags to complement dialogue snappy enough for Gilmore Girls. 

17. Vagabond (1985) dir. Agnès Varda – Shot with a haunting realism, this film has no qualms about its heroine’s inevitable, unceremonious death, which it opens with, matter-of-factly, before retracing her final (literal) steps to the road-side ditch she ends up in. (I’m partly convinced said heroine was the inspiration for Sarah Manning in Orphan Black.)

18. One Sings, The Other Doesn’t (1977) dir. Agnès Varda – Probably my favorite classic Varda, this film feels incredibly personal. It’s essentially a love story about two best friends with very different lives. For an indie made in the ‘70s, the diversity, scope, and themes of the film are impressive. Even if the second half a drags a bit, the first half is absolute perfection, engaging the viewer immediately, and clipping along, sprinkling in some great original songs that were way progressive for their time (about abortion, female bodily autonomy, etc) and could still be considered “bangers” today.

19. Emma (2020) dir. Autumn de Wilde

20. Black Panthers (1969) dir. Agnès Varda

21. Into the Forest (2016) dir. Patricia Rozema - When the world was ending (i.e. the pandemic hit) this was the first movie I turned to - a quiet, meditative story of two sisters (Elliot Page and Evan Rachel Wood) surviving off the land after a sudden global blackout. Four years later, it’s still one of my favorite book-to-screen adaptations. I fondly remember speaking with director Patricia Rozema at the 2016 Chicago Critics Film Festival after a screening, her love for the source material and desire to “get it right” so apparent. I assured her then, and reaffirm now, that she really did.

22. City of Trees (2019) dir. Alexandra Swarens

23. Never Rarely Sometimes Always (2020) dir. Eliza Hittmann - To call this a harrowing and deeply personal journey of a sixteen-year-old who must cross state lines to get an abortion would be accurate, but incomplete. It is a story so much bigger than that, about the myriad ways women’s bodies and boundaries are constantly violated.

24. Paradise Hills (2019) dir. Alice Waddington

25. *Eve’s Bayou (1996) dir. Kasi Lemmons – I’ve been meaning to watch Kasi Lemmons’ directorial debut for many years now, and I’m so glad I finally have, because it fully deserves its icon status, beyond being one of the first major films directed by a black woman. Baby Jurnee Smollett's talent was immediately recognizable, and she has reminded us of it in Birds of Prey and Lovecraft Country this year. If merit was genuinely a factor for Oscar contenders, she would have taken home gold at eleven years old. Beasts of the Southern Wild has been one of my all-time favorites, but now I realize that most of my appreciation for that movie actually goes to Lemmons for blazing the trail with her story of a young black girl from the bayou first. It’s also a surprisingly dark story about memory and abuse and familial relationships that cross lines - really gutsy and surprising themes, especially for the ‘90s.

26. Blow the Man Down (2019) dir. Bridget Savage Cole & Danielle Krudy - Come and get your sea shanty fix!

27. Touchy Feely (2013) dir. Lynn Shelton - R.I.P. :(

28. Hannah Gadsby: Douglas (2020) dir. Madeleine Parry - If you thought Gadsby couldn’t follow up 2018′s sensational Nanette with a comedy special just as sharp and hilarious, you would have been sorely mistaken.

29. Girlhood (2013) dir. Céline Sciamma

30. Breathe (2014) dir. Mélanie Laurent

31. *A Dry White Season (1989) dir. Euzhan Palcy

32. Laggies (2014) dir. Lynn Shelton

33. *The Old Guard (2020) dir. Gina Prince-Bythewood – Everything I’ve ever wanted in an action movie: Immortal gays, Charlize Theron wielding a labrys (battle axe), kinetic fight choreography I haven’t seen since the last Bond movie…Watched it twice, then devoured the comics it was adapted from, and I gotta say: in the hands of black women, it eclipses the source material. Cannot wait for the just-announced sequel.

34. Morvern Callar (2002) dir. Lynn Ramsay

35. Shirley (2020) dir. Josephine Decker

36. *Radioactive (2019) dir. Marjane Satrapi – The story is obviously well worth telling and the narrative structure – weaving in the future consequences of Curie’s discoveries – is clever, but a bit awkwardly executed and overly manipulative. There are glimpses of real brilliance throughout, but it feels as if the director’s vision was not fully realized, to my great disappointment. Nonetheless, I appreciated seeing Marie Curie's story being told by a female director and embodied by the always wonderful Rosamund Pike.

37. *The Half of It (2020) dir. Alice Wu - I feel like a real scrooge for saying this, but this movie did nothing for me. Nothing about it felt fresh, authentic or relatable. A real disappointment from the filmmaker behind the wlw classic Saving Face.

38. Mouthpiece (2018) dir. Patricia Rozema - I am absolutely floored. One of those films that makes you fall in love with the art form all over again. Patricia Rozema continues to prove herself one of the most creatively ambitious and insightful directors of our time, with this melancholic meditation on maternal grief and a woman’s duality.

39. Summerland (2020) dir. Jessica Swale - The rare period wlw love story that is not a) all-white or b) tragedy porn. Just lovely.

40. *The Last Thing He Wanted (2020) dir. Dee Rees – As rumored, a mess. Even by the end, I still couldn’t tell you who any of the characters are. Dee, we know you’re so much better than this! (see: Mudbound, Pariah)

41. *Cuties (2020) dir. Maïmouna Doucouré – I watched this film to 1) support a black woman director who has been getting death threats for her work and 2) see what all the fuss is about. While I do think there were possibly some directorial choices that could have saved quite a bit of the pearl-clutching, overall, I didn’t find it overly-exploitative or gross, as many (who obviously haven’t actually watched the film) have labeled it. It certainly does give me pause, though, and makes me wonder whether children can ever be put in front of a camera without it exploiting or causing harm to them in some way. It also makes one consider the blurry line between being a critique versus being an example. File this one under complicated, for sure.

42. A Call to Spy (2019) Lydia Dean Pilcher – An incredible true story of female spies during WWII that perfectly satisfied my itch for British period drama/spy thriller and taught me so much herstory I didn’t know.

43. Kajillionaire (2020) dir. Miranda July - I was lucky enough to attend the (virtual) premiere of this film, followed by an insightful cast/director Q&A, which only made me appreciate it more. July's offbeat dark comedy about a family of con artists is queerer and more heartfelt than it has any right to be, and a needed reprieve in a year of almost entirely white wlw stories. The family's shenanigans are the hook, but it's the budding relationship between Old Dolio (an almost unrecognizable Evan Rachel Wood) and aspiring grifter Melanie (the luminous Gina Rodriguez) that is the heart of the story.

44. Misbehaviour (2020) dir. Philippa Lowthorpe – Again, teaching me herstory I didn’t know, about how the Women’s Liberation Movement stormed the 1970 Miss World Pageant. Keira Knightley and Gugu Mbatha-Raw’s characters have a conversation in a bathroom at the end of the film that perfectly eviscerates well-meaning yet ignorant white feminism, without ever pitting women against each other - a feat I didn’t think was possible. I also didn’t think it was possible to critique the male gaze without showing it (*ahem Cuties, Bombshell, etc*), but this again, invents a way to do it. Bless women directors.

45. *All In: The Fight for Democracy (2020) dir. Liz Garbus and Lisa Cortes – 2020’s 13th. Thank god for Stacey Abrams, that is all.

46. *The 40-Year-Old Version (2020) dir. Radha Blank – This scene right here? I felt that in my soul. This whole film is so good and funny and heartfelt and relatable to any artist trying to walk that tightrope of “making it” while not selling their soul to make it. My only initial semi-note was that it’s a little long, but after hearing Radha Blank talk about how she fought for the two-hour run-time as a way of reclaiming space for older black women, I take it back. She’s right: Let black women take up space. Let her movie be as long as she wants it to be. GOOD FOR HER.

47. Happiest Season (2020) dir. Clea Duvall - Hoooo boy. What was marketed as the first lesbian Christmas rom-com is actually a horror movie for anyone who’s ever had to come out. Throw in casual racism and a toxic relationship treated as otp, and it’s YIKES on so many levels. Aubrey Plaza, Dan Levy, and an autistic-coded Jane are the only (underused) highlights.

48. *Monkey Beach (2020) dir. Loretta Todd

49. *Little Chief (2020) dir. Erica Tremblay – A short film part of the 2020 Red Nation Film Festival, it’s a perfect eleven minutes that I wish had gone on longer, if only to bask in Lily Gladstone in a leading role.

50. First Cow (2019) dir. Kelly Reichardt – I know Kelly Reichardt’s style, so I’ll admit-- even as I was preparing for an excellent film, I was also reaching for my phone, planning on only half paying attention during all the inevitable 30-second shots of grass blowing in the wind. (And yes, there are plenty of those.) But twenty minutes in, my phone was set aside and forgotten, as I am getting sucked into this beautiful story about two frontiersman trying to live their best domestic life.There is only one word to describe this film and that is: PURE. I’ve never seen such a tender platonic relationship between men on screen before, and it’s not lost on me that it took a woman to show us that tenderness. Reichardt gives us two men brought together by fate, and kept together by a shared dream and the simple pleasure of not being alone in such a hard world; two men who spend their days cooking, trapping, baking, and dreaming of a better life; two men who don’t say much, but feel everything for each other. The world would be a much better place if men showed us this kind of vulnerability and friendship toward each other. Oh, and it’s also a brutal take-down of capitalism and the myth of the American Dream!

51. Wonder Woman 1984 (2020) dir. Patty Jenkins - My most-anticipated film for the past two years was...well, a mixed bag, to say the least. Too many thoughts on it for a blog post, so stay tuned for the upcoming podcast ep where we go all in ;)

52. *Selah and the Spades (2019) dir. Tayarisha Poe

I hope this gives you some ideas to kick off your new year with a resolution to support more female directors!

What were your favorite women-directed movies of last year? Let me know in the tags, comments, or asks!

[littlelittlebear]

Two Drifters | 3/3 Jeronica Secret Santa

@fangstomysweetpea oh my god.... its finally time!!! 

The moment i’ve been aching for is finally here and i am HYPE

Happy Christmas my dear Tumblr-friend, I hope you enjoy this jeronica playlist/au/riverdale rewrite.

A couple things first, the descriptions on each song are just an outline as to whats happening in that moment/what the song calls for. Also, this is like a story, so its not really something you can play on shuffle lol. I’m confident you didn’t really need these “instructions” lmao, just want you to have a bomb-ass jeronica experience XDD

Also, you don’t have to “follow” the descriptions when you think them out, you can completely take the reigns too if you’d like!

So.... here ya go!!

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1MflcKtyBDRjnP0giX03X4?si=ZcsD0GfxR0KevhgDpTZVKQ

And here are the descriptions-

Oxford Comma-

Locking eyes for the first time… wow. Just- everything is in slow motion.

Baby Doll-

Slow dancing in Pop’s after the dance. (V goes to Pop’s instead of Archie)

Can I call you tonight?-

Jughead and Veronica’s moments of glee when they finally set up a date with each other. Veronica squeals and jumps up and down, Jughead punches the air, they both fall down on the bed with blissful looks on their faces. Two cinnamon rolls.

“So, I’ll call you tonight?”

“Yes! *Too enthusiastic- calm down Veronica* Yes. Call me tonight.”

*Que music*

Just Like a Movie-

Jughead calls this their theme song one day when they’re just hanging out in the student lounge as a joke.

Scrawny-

Veronica calls this Jughead’s theme song in response, they have a good laugh and Jughead rolls his eyes at the lyrics A LOT.

Space Girl-

Jughead calls this Veronica’s theme song- because she’s “oUt oF tHiS worLD!”.

She smacks his arm for being so cheesy.

Good Morning-

The morning after they do the “horizontal tango” with each other for the first time, they dance in Veronica’s kitchen, knowing all the words- only to be interrupted by an amused Hermione Lodge.

Unforgettable-

Their first Christmas together, spent snowed in at The Pembrooke. But honestly, they don’t mind.

Shake it out-

Jughead and Veronica cry together after her parents blackmail them/force them to break up. #parentssuck.

Your star-

Coping with the breakup, newsflash- they aren’t, or when they are... they don’t go the healthiest route. So. Much. Angst.

Rare-

Veronica changes up her style a little bit, which really is just lower cut tops, just trying to forget about Jughead- does a lil sexy performance singing to this at a pep rally.

Out the door-

Jughead never leaving the depressional stage of grief.                                

+ Exchanging broken looks that just scream “I’m not over you.”

I can’t get you off my mind-

Drunkenly hooking up at a party because their tension recently had just been… w o w

Drugs-

Sneaking around- sexy times ;)

Why Do You Love Me-

Having a screaming match, then a very angry/hot makeup session, then very angry sex XD

The Wind-

After some hOrIzOnTaL TaNGo at Sweetwater River, they admit that they can’t keep away from each other, saying that they love each other for the first time- followed by Veronica crying tears of joy cuz she’s never done that before- and that they’re going to work everything out, together. They just hold each other after that.

“I love you, Princess.”

Veronica props herself on her elbow to face him (they were laying down before)

Jughead sees her widened eyes. “Y-you don’t have to say it back, I know its ha-“

“I love you too, Jug”

You and I-

Montage of working at Pop’s for summer, ending with a jam sesh in Jughead’s trailer- Veronica just in his shirt and Jughead just in his sweats. FP comes in, surprised to see Veronica, but welcomes her easily. FP and Veronica bond, and he embarrasses Jug with some baby photos. While Jug’s probably beet-red, he can’t help but completely oggle at Veronica- happy that they don’t have to hide from his dad anymore.

Start a Riot-

Jeronica send a little message to Hiram through security cameras (they just make out lmao), showing that he can’t keep them apart. They then proceed to trash Hiram’s jingle jangle lab. :)

Moon River-

Slow dancing after having been crowned homecoming King and Queen. And of course, because Veronica is 1/2 of this relationship- this becomes their song.

“That’s us.”

“What do you mean?” Veronica asks, confused.

“The two drifters in the song. ‘Two drifters, off to see the world.’ That’s us”

Veronica’s eyes start to gloss.

“I absolutely love that. And you.”

Teenagers-

Being the badass power couple they are, being 100% team Serpent against the Bulldogs during the riots. Its all one long shot too- no cuts :))

A Sunday Kind of Love-

Looking at each other in slow motion (wow- I really love putting stuff in slow motion) when Veronica is officially named Serpent queen, they’re absolutely smitten with each other. Cut to them dancing in the Wyrm to the song, discussing how they’re going to make their big debut as Riverdale’s resident power couple… second to Choni of course.

“So… now that I’m your queen, I was thinking had a debut of sorts. Just to educate the public of this new order.” Veronica jabs, only kind of joking.

Jughead laughs, but it sounds more of a huff.

“Could you settle for a hand-in-hand entrance at school? Or would you be more comfortable with a red carpet event?”

Glory-

Veronica and Jughead walking into school as Serpent Royalty with matching Serpent jackets- no special colours thank you very much. You can bet your ass its in slow motion.

Worlds Apart-

Veronica crying at Jughead’s bed-side after the Ghoulies fuck him up.

Boss Bitch-

Veronica gets revenge on the Ghoulies and Penny Peabody with the help of the female Serpents, the River vixens, Hermione, Betty, and Alice.

Le Symbolique-

Veronica and Jughead reunite from his state of unconsciousness, this whole sequence is in slow motion, with a lot of white lighting/glare. Jughead almost died and just that thought alone KILLED Veronica.

“Jug I was so scared-“

“Shush Ronnie, let me look at you.” His teary eyes trace over Veronica’s face with a beaming smile, before he brings his girlfriend closer and kisses the top of her forehead.

Harmony Hall- 

Some core four bliss before it gets chaotic again, with a side of Jeronica and Barchie cuddles.

Not Your Barbie Girl-

A River vixen performance, Jughead is so fricken in love with Ronnie right now cuz she’s just RADIATING empowerment.

Therefore I Am- 

Jeronica sends Hiram to jail again after a bomb ass one liner from Veronica:

“Mija, you have no idea what you’re doing.”

“Only one thing’s false in that sentence Hiram, I’m not your Mija anymore.”

(HELP ME I CAN’T WRITE)

*Proud Jughead smirk*

This Life-

Veronica meeting JB and Gladys, them getting along great- just a wholesome Lodge/Jones get-together.

Don’t Call Me Angel-

Veronica changes her name to Luna, fully emancipating herself from Hiram, and this gets Jughead really turned on XD

Sway With Me-

La Bonne Nuit’s first successful night, Josie, Veronica, Toni, and Cheryl perform. Veronica somehow convinces Jughead to dance with her in public. Think Moulin Rouge’s Diamond Dogs type editing.

My Oh My- 

Getting screwed over my Hiram, Veronica is in a TON of debt and needs some “stress relief” with Jughead. He obliges. Happily.

HIP-

Veronica and Cheryl start their rum business, Jughead helps and oml he’s so proud of her. Btw, Cheronica are HUGE badasses right now.

Bury a friend-

Surviving Eversgreen Forest and Penelope Blossom…

Youth-

The core four are free from the forest, successfully escaping Penelope Blossom. Jughead and Veronica share a tearful but happy kiss, laying down on the back of a truck.

Don’t Take The Money-

The core four hang out at pops and promise to have fun this senior year, Jughead steals Veronica’s cherry from her milkshake, but being so vulnerable to Midget’s (He calls her Midget. Yup.) puppy dog eyes, he makes it up to her by sharing his fries. 

“And for a brief, shining moment, we were kids again.” all that good shiz

The Four Seasons: “Winter”-

Jeronica hangs with the Stonewall psychos.

(Online Love)-

Veronica and Jughead FaceTime and Veronica has this vibe like she’s the montage of the hero’s dead girlfriend in a movie. Like her hair is all splayed out on her pillow and she’s all smiley-

“You look like an angel right now- with your hair like a halo and how much you’re smiling.”

Veronica laughs

“Well it’s your fault I’m smiling you idiot.” Her voice softens towards the end of the sentence.

“I love you too, Ron.”

El Tejano-

Party at Stonewall, Jeronica are absolutely WASTED. Fun fact- Jughead get’s really into PDA when he’s drunk

Burned Out- 

Oh shit… I guess Jughead is dead now. (dw, Betty’s still the one who “kills him”)

Claire de Lune-

Just kidding, he’s alive, and he and Veronica have a really cute moment in the bunker. Veronica starts reading his novel, per his request, and he just starts playing this on the record player and she smiles but her eyes are still on the book. He just kind of watches her, and when she starts beaming at the book he can’t help but kiss her right there. Then they just cuddle and little bit, Veronica on Jug’s lap, reading the book some more.

Girls Like GIrls-

Veronica has to prove Jughead is dead, so she and Betty kinda sorta… make out. Like, a lot. Betty is dating Archie at this point, and he’s the one who gets “mad”. But basically Betty and Veronica end up making out again cuz they spot Donna watching them. Veronica is a bi con, and Betty might be too but everyones in denial so *shrugs*.

Dream Lover-

(Time skip, because I’m lazy) Jughead’s alive again, sadly, his spot at NYU was taken by well, Veronica. Luckily, after pulling some strings, she surprises Jug with a full-ride acceptance letter from NYU starting second semester.

Magic Moments-

Yay! Prom! Barchie gets crowned king and queen (Beronica was kind of forgotten about, but thats fine, because we’re here for Jeronica first). While Betty and Archie are totally lost in each other, Jughead and Veronica are just kind of joking around on the side. While it’s Barchie’s moment, Jeronica is still looking pretty damn cute rn. Also, this becomes Barchie’s song!!

Oxford comma-

The song comes through the speaker at prom, Jughead invites Veronica to dance. As they sway, they gaze at one another like they’re seeing one another for the first time, to the song that started it all. 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

And thats it! Thats Jeronica’s story from season one to season four, I hope you have a very merry Christmas and I hope you liked your presents! Also, if anyone feels like adding on to the dialogue or using any of the points in a fic or even making a whole ass fanfiction- please do!! I didn’t do this justice with my mediocre quotes so it would actually be preferred XD.

And again, happy Christmas :))

[talesofafangirlwithadvr]

SEPTEMBER PICKS

I don’t know about you, but this felt like a long month. I just looked back on my August post and that felt like another life. Putting together this list I couldn’t believe how much I was able to watch with the start of the semester. There was a lot of great ones, so let’s get to it!

Our usual spoiler warning....

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The Umbrella Academy

Umbrella Academy was a show that I started at the end of August. Many people I know were shocked I had never watched it and honestly I don’t know what took me so long. It was great and made even better by the second season getting released this summer. Now I had even more episodes to watch. 

I love how chaotic the Hargreeves are. The things that happen to them would only happen to them (if you know what I mean). I also love how they always put family first. Despite everything that’s happened to them. They might all be a mess (and honestly who isn’t), but deep down they love each other. For the first season I thought it was great how they formatted the plot. These characters were new to us and they didn’t give us all the backstory. (When you think about it we still don’t know how Ben died.) It made me continue tuning in and figure it all out. I always sensed Vanya had powers and I know it’s shocking that I wasn’t spoiled coming into the show so late. I liked the irony of the family essentially creating the apocalypse themselves by locking Vanya up.  Leonard aka Harold always felt shifty to me. I also liked the way they set up his story. Five and Klaus are definitely my favorites of the siblings. I love how Five is such an old man in a young kid’s body. The way they show his teleportation is really cool. The early scene in Run boy run, episode 2, is definitely one of my favorites from the whole show. The images paired with the song are chilling. Really nice job there. I love how Klaus’ power has been explored. We see more of it in season 2 and it’s something I wasn’t expecting. I love his and Ben’s relationship and I easily fell into the Klaus/Dave ship. We only got a slice of their backstory and I was already too invested. Season 2 took me a little bit to get into with the new setting, but after about two episodes I did. I really liked the plot and found it funny that there was yet another apocalypse. With that cliffhanger, I can’t wait to see where season three is headed.

Derry Girls Re-watch 

2020 felt like a good time to re-visit my girls in Derry. I wanted something familiar and funny and this was perfect. I just love this show. It makes me so happy after watching it. I’m so thrilled that we’ll eventually get a third season (even if it will be the last). This watch through I am noticing how many songs are in each episode. (Might help I’ve been watching it with subtitles.) There are so many bops. Sister Michael is always my spirit animal. She is hilarious! I also feel Gerry gets funnier as the season goes on. When he’s making the sandwiches at the funeral I crack up EVERY.TIME. I also love the seriousness of the show too. There are SO MANY great parallels. In the season one finale when the historical bomb goes off and the girls are shown at school unaware and just dancing with Orla it is so pure. Then we see Da put his hand on Gerry’s shoulder. Wow. It shows how the generations were affected. I will suggest this show to everyone no matter what they like to watch. IT IS THAT GOOD! So, why aren’t you watching it? (Or Re-watching?)  

Violetta Season 3

We can all rejoice! The third and finale season of Disney’s Violetta was released onto Disney Plus mid month. As someone who recently finished the second season, it was no surprise that I was ecstatic and wanted to watch it ASAP. This season is hands down the fastest one I have gotten invested into. Usually it takes me a bit to get into the new plot and characters. Because I’ve gotten so attached, I’m worried that means it will go downhill. I’ve heard mixed things about season 3. But let’s focus on the positives! There is so much music so far (both old and new songs). I am loving a lot of the new songs: En Gira and Armor En El Aire. I like how they started on tour and how they included actual footage from the real tour. Now they are in their last year in the studio (so I guess Seniors?). Lots of changes are already occurring including people leaving the Studio. Some are headed to Gregorio’s Art Rebel. I have to say that Gregorio has grown on me so much and now he is one of my favorite characters. I love his relationship with Diego and every time they call each other Papa and son. OMG it’s fantastic! So great to see them happy. This season we have a new teacher, Milton and I honestly can’t figure out what his deal is. Why is he so mean? I’m in episode 18 now and I am happy Leon and Vilu are still going strong. Obviously, they’re going to have issues (and they’ve already had minor ones), but it’s good to still see them in love. (It is adorable how they call each other Amor.) I also like that their “love triangles” seem to be misunderstandings right now. I’m in the VERY early stages of Fran and Diego and honestly I am so in love with them already. I’m going to fall hard for this ship. I know it. I am so tempted to continue watching spoilers, but I feel they’re not true spoilers if I can only find them in Spanish with no subtitles. ;) 

Sunshine on Leith

My journey through watching George Mackay films continued with Sunshine on Leith. This was a great choice and I highly recommend. The main difficulty is how to access it. I couldn’t find it fully anywhere online or through a streaming service, so I wound up purchasing it through Amazon and getting it as a UK DVD. This means you need a Multi-region DVD player to watch it. (I know. It’s weird that not all DVDs are the same.) Of course, I have one of these. I am a TV/Movie junky and love a lot of British programs that are unavailable to purchase in the US. I got it a few years ago also on Amazon and it was pretty cheap. I haven’t had any issues with it, so I highly recommend. 

The movie musical includes songs from the Proclaimers and takes place in Edinburgh. As someone who got to visit Edinburgh it was so cool to see the characters in places I’ve actually been. Before watching the film, the only Proclaimers song I knew was (of course) 500 miles. While watching I realized I actually new more and those I didn’t know I really liked. So, now I have a new playlist on my phone. Some are the original songs and others are from the movie (because I prefer their voices on some). What was cool to see was how not all the actors had the strongest voices, but could sing really well. I’m not sure if this was a purposeful choice or not. (I’d have to look more into it.) At times the plot felt a little rushed. Overall it was a fairly short musical, so that was probably why. Characters seemed to know each other really well really fast. So, if a lot of time would have passed I didn’t notice it. I can’t wait to re-watch the film. George Mackay in the cast brought me to watch it, but I stayed for a great story. (And of course I fell more in love with my crush on Mackay...No shock there :) 

I Am Not Okay With This

Netflix’s I Am Not Okay With This had been in my queue since the beginning of this year, but I didn’t get the chance to watch it till now....when I heard it got cancelled. [Netflix hit us with this news about a month back when they released that shows that were originally picked up were now getting dropped for a second season. I Am Not Okay With This and The Society were on the chopping block.] To make the comment everyone else already has, I am Not Okay With This. 

Despite knowing the show got cancelled, I still wanted to watch it. As I was watching Derry Girls, I wanted another show that was contemporary. I was very surprised to see how few episodes there were as well as how short they each were. It was a very quick watch because of this. While I expected this show to be contemporary with a touch of the supernatural, as Syd has powers, I was not expecting it to be so much more! This show blends so many genres and it does it so well. I honestly don’t know if I’ve seen it done before...at all. Which makes it hard to compare to some others. It feels like an Indy/Contemporary Coming of Age with both supernatural and thriller vibes. It even touches into horror-ish towards the end of the season. If only there was another season to see where it would go. And that ENDING! Is it bad I laughed? I think I did because I was not expecting it to go down like that AT ALL. Syd was a very dynamic main character and I really like how they had her explore who she truly is. Her and Stan’s friendship is one that I strive for. (Speaking of, where can I get a Stanley Barber? I need one in my life.)If you’re willing to be upset that the show got cancelled and there is no second season in the works, then I definitely suggest you just out I Am Not Okay With This. 

Enola Holmes

Man, I feel like I’m giving a lot of support to Netflix this month, but there was a lot coming out/ a lot in my queue so it makes sense. Overall, I would give Enola a 7/10. I had a lot of hype for this one (as it was one of my highly anticipated watches for September), which I think hurt my overall reaction. This doesn’t mean it wasn’t entertaining and enjoyable. I loved the female empowerment message as it was very strong. Millie Bobby Brown was fantastic and so charismatic as Enola. I loved the feature of her talking to us as well as giving some really great facial expressions. I am a sucker for a retelling (of any kind, but especially Sherlock Holmes), so I loved the concept and how they included a younger sister to the Holmes family. I know there has been some conversation about how Sherlock was portrayed and that’s not really Sherlock, but I had no problem with this (and I’m not just saying that because he was played by the dashing Henry Cavill). Honestly, Mycroft’s character bothered me more. I get that there had to be a “villainous” character (well other than the one in the mystery), but he felt a little too over the top. The movie felt a little too long at times and I still don’t like the reason for why her mother left and the conclusion to that plot. It did set it up as if there could be a sequel and I would definitely watch it. 

I would also like to add that I cannot get enough of the cast. Thanks to the YouTube interviews Netflix keeps uploading, I am falling more and more in love with this trio. They just seem like so much fun and I would love to be a part of this cast. They feel like siblings! 

Harriet

Another one in my watch-list for September can be checked off! Harriet has been a film that I have been wanting to watch since it came to theaters last year, but I felt like it came and went pretty fast. Luckily HBO just released it in the past month or so, which made me to tape it. I am so happy I did. 

WOW! Why didn’t I know about these facts about Harriet Tubman sooner? Why aren’t we taught these parts of history in school? I already knew she was amazing, and this just put her over the top. She did SO MUCH! It’s super impressive that she was a part of the Civil War and fought. Not only was this something difficult to do as a Black person, but also as a woman. I didn’t know about her visions, so that was something I Googled right when the film was finished. She never lost a freed slave in their journey to freedom. The list goes on and on how amazing Harriet Tubman was. This film showcases that so well and Cynthia Erivo is amazing as Harriet. (I have to start finding synonyms for ‘amazing’.) Her voice...WOW! Before watching the film, I have loved listening to “Stand Up,” but now afterwards it takes on a whole new meaning. Especially when you understand the direct quote from Harriet Tubman: “I go to prepare a place for you.” CHILLS! This film was nominated for multiple Academy Awards and it should have gotten one. WATCH HARRIET!

The Crimson Field

I’ve noticed that most of the programs I watch through Amazon Prime Video are mainly period dramas. So it was no shock that I would tune into The Crimson Field, a 7 episode series following the nurses and surgeons in France during WWI. As someone who is often more drawn to WWII, I am finding myself interested to watch more things involving the first World War (ie: 1917 and Tolkien). And this show was just what I needed. The pressure was on to watch it though, as it was only available through Prime Video till September 30th. Luckily with only 7 episodes this was an easy feat to accomplish, plus the first couple I marathoned because it was so good. As with any show it took a little bit to understand the setting and the cast, but I feel like I got to know them rather quickly, which made me invested to know what would happen next. I did find it strange that Prime Video only had access to the show for a month as it originally aired on BBC one and then PBS in 2015. The streaming service has programs older than that readily available to watch any time. 

The beginning of the series was definitely stronger in my opinion. I like how they gave breadcrumbs into people’s backstories, such as the main character Kitty. There was a lot of mystery there when we first learned she had a kid and then of her scandalous marriage. There are still a few things that I don’t 100% understand, but that might be because they thought they were getting a season 2 (but they did not). And with the way they ended the show it definitely had the feel. I enjoyed Kitty and Tom’s romance, but more at the beginning than at the end. With Tom’s character, I feel like they set him up as the super nice guy while Miles was the player, but then as the show progressed they decided Tom should have more Mr. Darcy traits and I just thought that was out of his character. Either way, I did still like him (and Miles) and could listen to Richard Rankin’s Scottish accent ALL DAY! It wasn’t until I looked up his IMDB that I made the connection that he is on Outlander now. Can you see the resemblance to him now? 

   Phineas and Ferb the Movie: Candace Against the Universe

And don’t we all just feel against the universe sometimes?

I know my range for this month is all over the place, so is it that shocking that I would add a cartoon to the mix. Definitely not...especially because it’s Phineas and Ferb. One of my favorite Disney Channel shows. Watching this film feels like FOREVER ago because it was so early in the month. I’ve only watched it the one time (because I don’t think it needs a second watch...I guess that tells you something), so let’s see how much I remember...

It’s been a while since we’ve had a new installment of Phineas and Ferb grace our screens and it was great to see the citizens of Danville once again. In a way, it felt like no time had passed. (And for them I guess it hadn’t because it always seems like the same summer.) It just felt like the moment for Phineas and Ferb. While I was really happy to see our beloved characters again, the plot of this film felt familiar. Very Queen of Mars. Now thinking back, it’s hard for me to relay what happens and I think that’s a good way to describe this movie. It was very familiar, and I wish they would have done more with it. I can’t even remember any of the songs (and that’s often my favorite part). Of course, it had all the classics antics and jokes. I love how Perry was helping out the kids and had to be very secretive about it. I always love a good Candace and Venessa team up. Dr. Doof was hilarious as usual and his pairing with the kids (specifically Isabella) was a great time. My favorite part was when they got meta and did the reverse engineering of their animation and then we saw the creators in front of the story boards. That was really cool and unexpected. Overall, it felt like Phineas and Ferb and made life in quarantine a little bit easier. 

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Well! That’s a wrap. These were some of my favorite picks to talk about (even if it took me longer than usual). I hope you watched some great stuff last month and continue to find new picks for October! 

[manlyquail]

Ponytailssss

This scene right here hyped me up a bunch because Ilia was a character that had so much potential and vanished as suddenly as she appeared. I have a lot of thoughts about Ilia sooo here we go :D

Ilia to me when I first saw her, and especially during the Blake trailer, gave me a lot of mixed feels. Mostly because I’m an avid shipper of the Bees, but the emotion in Ilia’s eyes when she was talking to Blake made me really wish she could be happy. Still though, Bees were the priority and I honestly kinda didn’t think about Ilia for a while after she vanished.

Then out of nowhere I was looking for a reason to write a Weiss ship story. I’m not super into WhiteRose but that’s a whole other talk, so I asked one of the discords I was in for a random person I could write a (smutty) one shot about! Now, smut or not, I was determined to try and stick to close to canon at the time, and someone suggested Ilia. So, I started to envision the scenario, but before I knew it my plans for a simple one-shot spiraled beyond my control. The characters and events and scenes just seemed to write themselves, and without any intention I was suddenly a huge prismatic ponytails shipper!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17653442/chapters/41631497

There is a single *ahem* chapter about halfway through the story since the original plan *was* to just write smut, but it could easily be skipped for anyone not interested. The rest of the story is entirely SFW outside of the *one* chapter.

Anyways, Ilia and Weiss just seemed to work for me mostly because of the faunus / Schnee dynamic. I’ll be entirely honest it was another situation where I’d given thoughts to relating to the Monochrome Blake/Weiss ship, but when I started to think about the emotional dynamics and concepts that could bounce between the two I realized it would basically be the same ship. To me though, Ilia has the potential for so much more depth.

Blake fought for peace in the White Fang. She was right there close to Adam and the leadership, but she never suffered outside of potential abuse from Adam. Ilia however suffered a great deal before she joined the White Fang. Her parents worked in the mines and I have no doubt she didn’t live the most stylish of lives (while Blake’s family was looooaded, at least relative to Menagerie), and despite all that her parents worked hard and found a way to get Ilia to Atlas Academy to live a better life.

Then they done exploded.

There’s a lot more drama there, but needless to say she experienced racism in the heart of Atlas, watched as her ‘friends’ *laughed* at the death of her family. There was so much more pain and intensity in Ilia’s past, associated so deeply with Atlas and the Schnee Dust Company, that for her let go of her past and get through all of that to bond with Weiss, I truly believe that the levels of that relationship could go so much further than a lot of the relationships out there.

So I wrote the above story, and in the more recent story on my Ao3 (Atlesian Ball) I have a chapter dedicated to Ilia and Weiss visited the mines where the explosion happened.

BECAUSE THAT’S WHERE AMITY IS.

It was a small detail, but based on the context of Blake talking about remembering the accident there and seeming sad, that gives me pretty much all the evidence I need to assume that the mines used as the staging grounds for Amity are the place where Ilia’s parents passed away.

Now, with the potential total squad showing up to Atlas based on the above scene of Ilia getting a call from Ghira, I think we see a chance, albeit a tiny one, for Ilia and Weiss to actually interact, and I cannot hide that excitement! I am a little bummed that they might not get to fully explore Ilia’s history with the mines given they’ve been turned into a crater, though I guess they could at least explore the remains if the opportunity presents itself, but I want Ilia to get some closure and to really prove how far both her and the Faunus as a whole have come when they come to the aid of *ATLAS* of all places. We’ve seen small hints about faunus in Mantle willing to help aid humans in their time of need during the current events, but I think seeing the faunus of Menagerie of all places go to the aid of the most anti-faunus place in Remnant is one of the best developments we can see!

Anyways, Ilia hype, and at the very least there’s the tiniest tiny percent chance of some Ponytails interactions, and I want them so bad!

[oyesmendes]

punches and ice baths

a/n: here’s my first 5sos fic!! i’m definitely moving on from just writing shawn fics now, i’ll still write them when i have inspiration but i’m expanding my fic characters okay!! this one’s for ashton irwin and i hope you like it ❤️

warnings: self-harm, mentions of alcohol abuse, self-abuse, boxing as a coping mechanism 

It was still pitch dark in the bus, soft snores echoing through the space and the only source of light coming from the flashlight from her phone. They arrived at the arena a couple of hours ago, the bus coming to a gentle stop in the parking lot that woke her up. She shuffled around in the dark, slipping on a hoodie before sliding out of her bunk and tiptoe-ing to reach the one across from her. She turned the flashlight off to avoid pointing it in the wrong direction and risk waking anyone up before drawing open the curtain of Ashton’s bunk. He shifted in his sleep when he heard the movement, but his eyes remained closed knowing that it was just her peeking through. She smiled softly at her sleeping boyfriend, his curled up posture so he could fit in the tiny bunk, along with a pillow that was covered in her scent between his arms. She pressed a kiss to his forehead, pushing stray curls behind his ears before shutting the curtains again.

“You ready?” Sierra whispered once she turned around. She nodded tiredly, eyes still droopy from the lack of sleep. They exited the bus as quietly as they could, the wave of cool fresh air hitting their faces. She followed Sierra who held the punching mitts and two sets of hand wraps into the arena. It was a totally different scene inside - everyone was buzzing, busy setting up the arena for the boy’s performance tonight. They greeted everyone they passed with a cheery smile, before making their way to the open floor of the arena. Sierra set the stuff on the stage, hauling her small frame up after.

“Paul was saying we could use the stage if we wanted, they managed to set up real quick today so we could use it for more grip for our feet” She nodded in agreement, pulling herself up the stage as well. They fell into their routine pretty quickly, the portable speaker blasting music to hype them up through the warm up.

Thirty minutes into the workout, both Sierra and Y/N were covered in sweat, taking turns to do a set of drills. Y/N hardly mentioned it, but she was always thankful she had Sierra on the trip who would help her workout and train her punches while they were on the road. Sure the rest of the boys did their fair share of workouts in the dressing room, but none of them were ever up for a good spar or drill workout with Y/N (with the exception of Luke, if only he could wake up in the wee hours of the morning). Ashton had always volunteered to join her in the beginning, but he soon realised that doing a full show and waking up before the sun rose to workout was not what his body could take. So Y/N trained on her own for the first month before Sierra came to join them on the tour. She was the perfect workout partner, always pushing them to do more and gain strength that Y/N never knew she had. They spurred each other on, trying new moves and if the space permitted, they indulged in a sparring session on the ground of the arena.

Ashton and the boys could never understand why Y/N would drag herself up to throw punches early in the morning when they first got to know her. They felt that it was dreadful and sad to workout when the world was quiet, but that was her safety. The punches she threw in the quiet of the morning were a replacement for her self harm and abuse, a true testament to the strength that she held within her, both emotionally and physically. The sport made her happy, endorphins coursing through her veins along with the ache in her muscles. It took awhile for Ashton to fully see it. But when he finally did, he always made the effort to be there to capture the moment, even if it was 6AM in the morning. Today was the same, he stood behind the curtains and watched quietly as his girl worked. The sight definitely made his mouth water - she had long lost the hoodie on top of her, only a sweat clad sports bra and a pair of shorts hanging just below her belly button adorning her body. She definitely wasn’t perfect, but she was all he wanted in his eyes.

“Come on, focus! I can’t feel your punches!” Sierra shouted as she raised her mitts again. Y/N punched harder than she ever did in awhile but as she drew her hands back, she lost focus and Sierra’s mitt jabbed her straight in the chin. She winced slightly at the contact, shaking it out and guarding her face again before she heard Ashton shouting her name.

“Y/N! Are you okay?” He rushed to her side but she raised her wrapped hand up, a smile on her face. He nodded and backed away, knowing she needed to focus and be in her element.

“I’m okay, let’s go”

It was another thirty minutes before they were done, stretching and pulling at their bodies to loosen their muscles. Ashton sat and watched the whole time, no doubt a big distraction whenever Y/N did her punches and hooks. He helped to fetch a couple of cold water bottles and towels for the pair, playfully asking for kisses once he delivered them to her.

“You’re the only person who has the most amazing after workout hair y’know?” Sierra commented when Y/N pulled her hair out of the pony tail.

“Okay but you have the most amazing hair all the time so I think all is fair”

“Touché, I’m gonna go shower. See you love birds later!” Sierra grinned at Ashton before she bounded off to the dressing room showers. Ashton approached her with a playful grin on his face, “Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?” He grabbed her waist to pull her closer to him.

“With a not so pleasant scent though” She wiped the sweat off her body, pressing a kiss on Ashton’s lips. A member of the crew came jogging to the couple, informing Y/N that her ice bath was ready.

“C’mon rockstar, wanna watch me take an ice bath?”

They entered a small backroom with a big black tub filled to the brim with iced water, the sight of it made anyone shudder. Ashton followed closely behind her, leaning against the door frame while she stripped off her shorts to reveal a pair of compression shorts underneath. She entered the tub quickly, lowering her entire body into the ice before dipping her head down for a couple of seconds. Ashton started the two minute timer, watching her as she closed her eyes and breathed out the shiver in her bones. It helped her clear her head, start the week right and was also a huge benefit for her sore muscles.

Y/N was the one that had introduced Ashton to ice baths when he started working on treatment for his alcohol abuse. He was skeptical at first, but when she explained the benefits to him and practically dragged him into the shower to experience it, he finally caved. It started out as ice cold showers, to the extent where Y/N turned off the heaters so Ashton couldn’t cheat. Then they moved to a new apartment with a tub, and Y/N would fill it with ice for Ashton to dip himself into it.

-

“But it’s cold!” He whined when his foot dipped into the tub.

“That’s the point!”

“My dick is gonna freeze in this and we can never have sex again!” She laughed, shaking her head at the boy. He was now standing at least three feet away from the tub, brows furrowed and arms crossed in front of him. She pulled him towards her, pressing a kiss to his lips.

“Oh come on, don’t be a pussy. I’ll go in with you, okay?”

“You don’t get to call me a pussy! But fine, okay I’ll go with you.” He pouted, pulling his shirt and shorts off to only leave him in a pair of biker tights. She held his hand as he dipped his entire body into the water, head bopping just above the surface. She slid in between his legs, dipping in quickly. It somehow felt refreshing, and awakening for his body. He was suddenly so aware of every muscle, how his hands were resting on her thighs and how his body shivered ever so slightly. Then he dipped his head in and out of the ice, and he was sold.

-

“Alright, time’s up!” Ashton announced. He handed Y/N a towel and helped her out of the tub. Her tights had ridden up a little, revealing the white lines across her thighs. He had seen them so many times before, but whenever they made their appearance he would always notice them and stare a little longer. He remembered the loud gasp he let out when he first saw them, the fear on evident on her face when she realised what she had unintentionally revealed. She was changing into another pair of shorts while he was in the room and she totally forgot about them. He remembered her story, how she would call them her battle scars. She told him how she never went too deep, but sometimes her demons would be too loud and her hand would slip. Then she told him how she was two years clean, how she used boxing and exercise as her release. He remembered kissing each scar, and hugging her so tight.

“Hey, where are you gorgeous?” She tapped on his nose which made his face scrunch up. He smiled at her soft grin, then pressing a kiss to her lips.  

“Just thinking about how lucky I am to have you.”

[a-student-out-of-time]

Twisted Sister Aftermath Review Part 1

Hai hidey do everyone, it’s your friendly neighbourhood Review Anon here! Another Arc has come and past us and as such it’s time to review it! Hopefully I don’t end up with 5k worth of words here and have three megaton submissions here (and from now on I am not going back to using asks, why the heck I used asks beforehand is beyond me) Speaking of, I have a question, do you want me to go back and review previous arcs? Probably won’t do this until we have any kind of break or hiatus so to not break flow? But that’s enough time being wasted, we have the Twisted Sister Aftermath Arc here, and this review isn’t going anywhere so let’s get right into it!

Relationships and Reflections

So, when we last left off, Hajime passed out from inhaling too much smoke while saving Tsurugi from the bomb explosion and as it turned out he has been asleep for a good 8 hours! Its Monday but despite that the school is shut, which is understandable given that we had criminals running around and a serial killer attacking the school the previous day, Hope’s Peak seems to be more sensible than my previous school which didn’t shut down even when one of the main buildings got flooded (long story there). But the good news is that nearly all the criminals were captured by the QC and the police and are back where they belong. The bad news is that 3 criminals are still at large. 2 of them are petty criminals that have nothing to be concerned but there is one criminal who IS a big concern. You have 3 guesses who that person is and the first 2 don’t count. Yep, its Maverick Storm alright.

So, time for a bit of a confession here, Maverick as a character…isn’t all new to me. For some of you old timers here there was a blog called ‘Despair Kids’ which started out as Class 78 asking questions and then it evolved into an AU with lots of OCs, so many that it got too overwhelming and I lost interest in it. But there were a few I generally liked, and Kyoji’s and Maverick’s characters really stood out to me. When I started to read the enormous backlog of this blog, (I wish the best of luck to all newcomers and try to not binge it, even if you are a fast reader), and Umeko showed up during the Practical Exams arc, I got a sense of Deja vu, as I recalled hearing that character’s name before. But I didn’t think much at the time, not helped by the fact that Umeko was a pretty minor character in the Despair Kids, even when Maverick was on his self-imposed challenge to kill all of his class, Umeko evaded him by just dimension travelling to another universe, so her character didn’t have much impact. But as soon as I heard Kyoji and Maverick mentioned I thought ‘Oh…OH IT’S THE SAME PERSON WHO MADE THOSE CHARACTERS!’. And as mentioned, I really liked those OCs anyway so that as well as using Another characters really got me invested into this blog. And with all that said, let me reassure you guys that Maverick is a bastard with a capital B. The stuff he gets up to in Despair Kids, where he was a member of Despair, but secretly plotted to overthrow Junko, even the other Mods/Role-players were disgusted by it. Now Maverick is probably going to be going through some changes as the Mod’s OCs in this blog aren’t the same as the characters from the Despair Kids. To give some examples Kyoji’s backstory doesn’t mention Mikan, Kyoji isn’t into Mikan, he’s more into Miaya, Maverick got jailed etc. So, I won’t be surprised when Storm starts pulling shit, probably not as bad as Despair Kids as he isn’t under Junko’s thumb here…but hard to tell at the moment. But yeah, you have been warned, I consider Maverick a villain as bad as Junko and Mikado, and you will soon see why.

But enough about a character who hasn’t officially shown up yet, let’s focus on a reformed villain and that is the new and improved Kanade! I feel mixed upon this new Kanade as part of me wants to love her as in this state she is so sweet and innocent, which is what people probably thought of Kanade when they first saw her in SDAR2, and I did at first, my thoughts about Kanade at the time were ‘It’s almost as if Hiyoko and Mikan are siblings, let’s hope Kanade doesn’t go crazy like Mikan did’ and that statement aged like milk. When Kanade became suspiciously smart and helpful during the Class Trials I was kinda sus because normally with the Trial Point Getters there is normally some logic to why said character is good in the Trails, like Koroko being a Psychologist can analysis people’s feelings and deduce who the culprit, and Syobai’s background means he has to use his brain quite a bit, but Kanade is supposed to be a Guitarist in a Pop band, she shouldn’t be this good. But my theory was she was lying about her talent, because that’s nothing new in Danganronpa, but ho boy was that a mistake. But at the same time as much as I want to hug this new Kanade, I’m also hyper conscious that the mindwipe might not be a permeant solution as well Junko got mindwiped in the OG timeline and we all know how well THAT ended. Then again, the relapse didn’t fully occur until Yasuke decided to kill Ryoko so as long as nobody tries to strangle Kanade, we should be good. It also means that Hibiki gets the little sister that she thought she had back, and you can tell this a new stage of development for her. Hibiki has grown as a person since back in July but while that part of her character development has finished, a new part starts as she tries and rebuild a proper healthy relationship with Kanade because Hibiki wasn’t completely innocent in the reason why Kanade became a monster. Granted, a lot of it was Kanade being twisted to begin with but had Hibiki been kinder and not been a total bitch to her, I don’t think Kanade would have gone fully down the deep end as it seems her psychopathic behaviour is more of a nurture rather than nature thing. Something I believe will be explored a bit more once Junko enters the scene because well…Kanade is basically Junko on easy mode. The real deal will be a lot harder to handle. And naturally Kyoji has offered to take care of her…I don’t know why Kyoji has turned into the guardian of reformed little girls, but it’s a welcome surprise to be sure. I just hope Kanade doesn’t get wrapped up in Storm’s schemes because given that Kyoji is his arch-enemy…

We can make sure Kanade is a good girl now but there’s still the small issue that she escaped from jail and the police are looking for her so one needs to fake her death. This is a joint operation by Kyoji and Nikei as Kyoji cloned some of Kanade’s body parts and left them near where a bomb went off to give the impression that Kanade got killed during the Prison Break, and judging from Tsurugi’s reaction, it seems to have worked. Speaking of Tsurugi, he is resting and due to his injuries is desk bound for a couple of weeks and receiving care from Mikan. Mikan caring for Tsurugi helps in two ways, as firstly being the Ultimate Nurse, she would be qualified to help make sure nothing serious happens to Tsurugi and Tsurugi doesn’t know that Mikan is part of the Quantum Crew and working with Kasugano, so it means someone is near Tsurugi who can relay information to Kasugano and co. That’s two girls with ties to Kasugano that Tsurugi has interacted with and he doesn’t suspect a thing. Okay to be fair with Akane when he first met her, she was an independent force and wasn’t working for Kasugano at that point but my point still stands. Not much to talk about our police boy here aside from Mod confirming that Tsurugi x Kouhei is going to be a thing in this blog. To be fair everyone could see the sexual tension between those two and that’s why people felt funny when Kanade mocked their relationship as they wanted to ship the two but it meant siding with a demonic guitar child. But said demonic guitar child is no more so no need to worry about shipping! And as for Nikei, he is writing up an article detailing Kanade’s demise as to throw the media off Kanade’s scent and then it’s just waiting for all the media hype around Kanade to die down and once that happens, she can be transferred to one of the many care facilities that Kyoji knows. How many does he know at this point? And while we are on the subject of Newsie here, it’s time to discuss a growing friendship, and possible relationship that is developing between him and Akane.

I had my suspicions for some time by their interactions but it was Akane’s and Nikei’s interactions in this Arc which solidified my viewpoint on their relationship. And that is Akane is more or less a foil to Mikado. Think about it for a second. They weren’t founding members of Void, they both grew up in hellish orphanages, got out of said orphanages thanks to Utsuro, ended up meeting the man himself at some point and inherited his Divine Luck at various points, though Mikado only succeeded in a Bad Ending. But at the same time, they both have different motives for going after Utsuro, Akane wanted to thank him for what he’s done for her and when she did successfully meet him, dutifully served under him, even when Junko came and corrupted them both. And while Utsuro had his crippling trust issues and constantly worried if Akane would betray him at some point, the fact that he gave Akane Divine Luck after she took mortal damage protecting the other survivors from Monokuma, showed that at some level he did care for her. Mikado desired the Divine Luck for his own personal benefit, burned down several orphanages to trigger another encounter and upon meeting with Koroko, hatched a horrible plan to ‘revive’ Utsuro, then Mikado would kill him and steal the Divine Luck for himself. Only reason it backfired was firstly because Mikado (both real and AI) didn’t realise Utsuro gave the Divine Luck to Akane, who was then later used to create Sora, and secondly Syobai betrayed him by siding with the Kisurugi Foundation. Their clashing roles can be no better illustrated then with their relationship with Void’s leader, Nikei. We don’t know how Nikei reacted to Mikado initially because it’s still a lot of unknown factors until the Onmake mode comes out canonically, but while wary at first because of how extreme Mikado’s plan was, was probably willing to trust him. And then as Mikado undermined him and usurped the role of leader from Nikei, that relationship quickly soured and a rotting despairing sense of hatred and revenge grew within Nikei, eroding away his humanity (from reading LINUQ’s blog, where he goes into detail regarding the various characters from SDAR2, he states that Nikei used to be a lot more warm-hearted before Mikado came along, but his hatred for the wizard made him much crueller) And it got to the point where the lines between Nikei and Mikado got blurry, and I’ll say that Nikei ended up being no different from Mikado in the end. And thus, he died a broken hateful mess. Now as for Akane, she and Nikei got off on a bad note; she kicked Nikei in the stomach, he responded by almost blowing Akane’s brains out, fun stuff like that. But once the misunderstanding and proof that Akane was good arose, a friendship of sorts started to develop between the two. The first signs we saw of this is *sigh* Oncoming Storm Arc. Among the hot pile of shit that Arc was, one of the VERY, VERY few good parts about it, was that when some Anons unintendedly hit a trigger phrase for Akane, which was mentioning older men, she went into a panic attack and out of all the people who could have comforted Akane during this moment, it was Nikei who did so. And now in this arc, we are seeing that Nikei is a bit more open with Akane then he is with other non-Void members of the Quantum Crew. He’s not taken the news that he snapped back to his old self during the Massacre timeline well, and bemoans that it shows he hasn’t changed, but Akane reassures him he has and that the timeline can serve as a lesson to improve oneself from and mentions she had trust issues initially but thanks to Utsuro, she is very much a people person now. And of course, we get the cute wholesome scene of those two cuddling each other, can someone please make fanart of these two cuddling, we need it. Mikado brought the worst out of Nikei and eventually led to his death, whereas Akane brings out the best in Nikei and would possibly help him into living a full refreshing life. Sora is more or less the third wheel in this relationship.

Annnnddd…I have talked for way too long. That’s part 1 of the review where I talk about relationships regarding all the characters but when we come back its when the plot comes back in when Class 77-B gets debriefed on the truth and a shocking new discovering on Time Travel is revealed. Stay tuned as we won’t be away for long! - Review Anon

[danwhobrowses]

WWE Wrestlemania 37 Day 1 - Review

Big Card, Not so big build

But it is that time of the year, we Stood, we Delivered, and now we shall Showcase for the Grandest Stage of them All

I got hyped for it by watching Bret vs Owen so I do have expectations, I haven't been spoiled too much save for the Main Event and the fact that there was storms that delayed the event, I dunno if they cut that content but we shall see Note: I am gonna bold who I predicted to win per match as well just to show how right/wrong I was

Spoilers for Wrestlemania Night 1, You Have Been Warned

Pre-Show The opening panel was not so great; Booker (with a captain Hook moustache), JBL, Lawler and Rosenberg, bunch of contrarian drivel really and trying to make Braun/Shane out like it deserves on the card just doesn't sit with me, that match robbed a potential Father/Son Tag Title Victory for the Mysterios (I know the Dirty Dawgs won on SD but I feel like they wouldn't have retained if it were Mania). Most of the promo packages were good at the least since they can cut out all the shoddy booking decisions and act like some stars were underbooked over the past year. I will say though, selling BelAir and Banks as 'the first time a women's singles match has main evented Wrestlemania' is a bit of a slight on the triple threat - which would've been 1v1 if Vinny didn't want to be adamant in adding more feathers to Charlotte's peahen plumage - it was still a singles match, sometimes WWE's desire for 'first time evers' are a bit insufferable. Also this is not 'the most important match of Cesaro's career', that is a terrible thing to say about a non-title match revolving around Rollins feeling embarrassed. The Hall of Fame recap was a mixed bag as well, mainly because I disagreed with some of the inductions and the way they tried to sell them bigger than what they are, but I was glad for some - Liger, Bulldog, Molly Holly, Kane...still waiting on Lillian and Andy Kaufman to get inducted though. Sonya also popped up to promote the tag turmoil and retreading the main event, she was super natural and should've been on the whole panel, or in the ring. Sonya's talents are wasted right now.

No Match though! An Hour of Recap lacked any entertainment seeing as we'd see all these promo packages again on the main card. So overall this was entirely skippable.

Main Card...Delayed Vince opened the event to address the crowd, which was kinda nice actually. It was a much more inclusive introduction than just having someone singing America the Beautifu-oh they're still doing tha-boooooooobs! It's also kinda weird looking at the roster not even on the card on the stage, like this is their only contribution for the entire year...

The intro package was a big obnoxious too, dude does an okay Jack Sparrow accent but it kinda went on a bit long, 10 minutes into the main show and there's no wrestling y'know?

Byron out with a super white suit as well, looking like Liberace as weather warnings echoed the arena, with news that it'll be worse tomorrow I hope that arena has a roof. With the delay WWE pulled with interviews, Big E even showed up to join his New Day buddies. Cole's 'Wrestlerainia' did not land and Braun saying 'I'm fighting for everyone whose been bullied' doesn't land either, we had this story with Nia and Alexa years ago. I also hate 'Herstory', like the literal word I hate it, History has adapted well beyond gender. Sure, it evolved from the Greek Histor which means 'wise' or 'a learned man' but the His is not the agent noun, the Tor is, and it's a gender neutral noun, if it were a Latin root then it'd be masculine but its root is Ancient Greek - there's your Etymology lesson for tonight.

The irony though, the moment fans get back in the arena they have to come back out because of rain.

Main Card - This Time Around Titus and Hulk came out as hosts to ramp up the crowd, it was kinda uncomfortable in context really, plus we don't need a third rundown of the card. Reminder that those in bold was who I earlier predicted to win.

WWE Championship - Bobby Lashley [w/MVP] (c) def. Drew McIntyre (Ref Stoppage Submission via Hurt Lock) Starting hot with the World title match again, bit odd to see Lashley do his point pose on the ramp and no pyro, but both men fixed their eyes on each other and barely looked away. Their history goes beyond WWE after all, not that the commentary would tell you. The did come out with a ton of falsities though, I know the WWE Championship was at several times the most prestigious belt in wrestling but not all the time in that 60 years, Big Gold Belt, IWGP and 10 Pounds of Gold had times too, AEW also can tout that, but Cole's most baffling claim was that you'd need to win it to be a Hall of Famer - on the same year Bulldog who never won a world title was inducted. No quick draw like last year, the match started with some meat slapping, Drew even gesturing a fuck you with the Bras d'honneur to Lashley after knocking him down. Both men would trade blows and advantage, Drew almost locking an armbreaker but Lashley clubbing free - very weird camera cutting there. Lashley hit 2 throws and a neckbreaker to regain the advantage, he didn't get the Futureshock but he hit a nice Northern Lights Suplex. Lashley hit his newer version of the Dominator and an Uranage but both only kept Drew down for 2, he almost got the Hurt Lock as Drew fought back with some blows and a front-facing Alabama Slam, he tried a superplex but Lashley fought out, tried a kimura but got knocked down, so he went for the Tree of Woe throw he does. Lashley gets him with another Uranage but Drew kips up, belly to belly, Futureshock, Futureshock, Futureshock! 1, 2, No! Drew calls for the Claymore but Lashley rolls out, MVP coming late, Drew then does a Tope onto both. He goes up top but almost gets caught with the Hurt Lock, an Exploder and a Flatliner puts Lashley in the driver's seat, he tries for the Hurt Lock again but is driven into the Turnbuckle, Drew then locks in the Kimura but Lashley gets to the ropes. After trading shots Lashley lands into a boot and a headbutt, Drew looks for the Claymore but MVP shouts to distract him, allowing Lashley to dodge and get the Hurt Lock in, Drew tried to fight back, tried to roll out of it by kicking the turnbuckle but Lashley cinched it in tight, fading, fading, and the ref calls the bell.

A very good opener this one, big men slapping meat can hardly go wrong. Not too many false finishes either and MVP only psyches Drew out rather than got fully involved. It was right for Drew to fade rather than tap too. First prediction wins, I did think it was a risk but I expected it because WWE had sold the idea that they wanted Drew to win in front of a crowd, but he had held the title for most of the year, so I anticipated the swerve. Still, we didn't have to break up the Hurt Business for this, hopefully Lashley gets more time to shine.

As Lashley celebrated with some strange camera switching we moved to Titus, the NWO and a Bayley segment. Bayley trying to sell her Ding Dong Hello and being denied some Two Sweets, a huge waste of Bayley's talents especially with the year she has had.

Tag Team Turmoil for a shot at the WWE Women's Tag Championship on Night 2 - Natalya & Tamina def. Naomi & Lana, the Riott Squad [Liv Morgan & Ruby Riott], Billie Kay & Carmella and Dana Brooke & Mandy Rose (pinfall by Tamina on Ruby Riott via Superfly Splash) Props to Billie Kay selling the lack of cohesion in her and Carmella's entrance as they started the match against Lana & Naomi. Naomi started with the advantage but it was traded to Carmella when Lana was tagged in, then to Billie, then back to Naomi. A double facebuster flattens Billie but Carmella breaks the pin, after Carmella throws Lana out Billie rolls up Naomi - who is also strengthened by Carmella lying on the floor but using her feet to keep Billie up right - for 3, eliminating that team. Naomi is not happy, as she should be that was a huge waste, as the Riott Squad come in. Sporting Suicide Squad Joker (Ruby) & Harley (Liv) outfits, the Riott Squad start hot but are foiled by Carmella's tag. Liv is the feeder to Carmella and Billie's combos, they try the same rollup trick but they are caught by the ref, Carmella's dumped allowing Liv to hit a codebreaker and hold Billie down for Ruby's senton for the 3, the two embrace but Carmella superkicks Liv as Dana & Manda arrive in pink, Mandy humorously slipping on the ramp did not go unmissed. With Liv taken out Ruby tried to fight alone, Dana hits a top rope blockbuster but Liv comes back to break the pin. Dana hits a spinning neckbreaker and tags Mandy in, a pin for 2 by Ruby opens the door for Liv to be tagged in, a Codebreaker/Riott Kick combo lands but the pin is broken by Dana. Cole accidentally calls Mandy 'Dana' as she rallies, Dana comes back to dump Ruby out as they land the Superplex/Swanton combo on Liv, Mandy pulls Ruby from making the save but Liv reverses the pin for 3. The announcer then wrongly says that the Riott Squad were eliminated and has to be corrected, making you think this wasn't the plan. Natalya and Tamina pick up the scraps, Natalya tries a Sharpshooter but gets rolled up for 2, she drops Liv onto the ropes and tags Tamina in. Natalya hits a powerbomb but Ruby breaks the pin before being dumped out by Tamina again. Liv fights both women enough for Ruby to tag in, an assisted spear on Tamina leads to the Codebreaker/Senton combo but it hits for 2. They set up the Codebreaker/Riott Kick but Tamina yanks Riott away and superkicks Liv. Natalya returns to hit the Hart Attack on Ruby, looks to set up the Sharpshooter but instead tells Tamina to take point, Superfly Splash gets the win. The champions look on on a monitor at their opponents.

A bit of a mixed bag this one, the wrestling was clean but I think external botching brought it down, as well as questionable booking decisions. Naomi is a multi-time champion she should not be pinned so quickly. I did again correctly predict Nattie and Tamina, but I personally wanted the Riott Squad to win, it was the Heyman dressing down that motivated me to pick the Daughter Combo - also weird that they acknowledge Tamina's heritage given what Superfly did. The Riotts at least got a great showing, the finish took a bit of a long time considering that all Liv took from them was a superkick and was out for 2 minutes, hopefully this'll inspire booking to push them which is well overdue. As for Tamina and Natalya, heel vs heel is a tough one, they didn't look like babyfaces here and while I do have them to win the titles this was not a good look for their chances.

Cesaro def. Seth Rollins (pinfall via Neutralizer) Seth entered the ring with a homage to the Andre OBEY print on his tights, followed by his Cesaro smear ad, then Cesaro in a weird choice of just a black jacket as well as black and yellow tights similar to his Wrestlemania XXX attire.

Cesaro starts with a huge uppercut and setting up the Swing, but Seth wriggles out, tries a big boot but Cesaro hits the Dragon Screw and tries for the swing again, but fails again. Cesaro gets a corkscrew springboard uppercut but Seth hurts his arm on the ropes, he gets an uppercut as Seth climbs on the turnbuckle but he kinda didn't get all of it. Going for an Avalanche Gutwrench Suplex, Seth rolls out into a Buckle Bomb for 2, Seth then preys on the arm, Cesaro's arm prevents a rally as Seth hits the Superplex/Falcon Arrow combo for 2. Cesaro flurries with uppercuts, he tries the swing but Rollins keeps countering, first a rollup then going to ropes followed by an Enzugiri, when he tries the Stomp though Cesaro gets the swing, 9 spins causes the arm to give way but he locks in the Sharpshooter (probably why Natalya couldn't/wouldn't do it last match), Rollins gets to the ropes and powers out of the Neutralizer, knee strike and a sling blade sets up for a Corkscrew Frog Splash for 2. Seth sets up the Ripcord Knee but gets lifted into a Neutralizer! 1, 2, No! (Commentary saying again 'and now Cesaro begins to doubt himself), Cesaro tries it again but lands into a Pedigree! 1, 2, No!

Seth gloats surviving both of Cesaro's big moves, clubbing the back of Cesaro's head with his hand and then his leg as he prepares a stomp, Cesaro then hits the uppercut, UFO! Gestures for the Swing and gets it! 23 Rotations, Neutralizer, 3!

That's what I'm talking about! Indy Darling match with some great spots, good crowd involvement and a proper babyface win. Cesaro thanks the crowd as they cheer him on, Seth did show some great creativity which I kinda hoped Cesaro would but it was a small thing in otherwise a great match. I guessed with my heart on this one unlike the Tag Team Turmoil, because of my Universal Title plans really, Cesaro has been given the chance to earn the push we all know he deserves and he's took it, now we can push him further.

Post-match they recapped the AMBR and 4-Way, bit off to say 'Veteran Experience pays off' when Rey was the most experienced of them all, also the 4-Way should've been on the mania card and the tag turmoil on SD. They interviewed the Dirty Dawgs to talk the Raw Tag titles, which was a bit rough to see, it's clear what the pecking order is in Vince's mind.

Raw Tag Championships - AJ Styles & Omos def. New Day [Xavier Woods & Kofi Kingston] (c) (pinfall by Omos on Kofi via Double-Handed Chokeslam TITLE CHANGE) Annoyingly the Champions came out first, but they were introduced by Big E, a Fusion Dance hologram graphic paired with their entrance as they came out in Red to rep the Tampa Bay Bucs in what would've been their 2020 attire, cheekily the 2020's last 0 was scribbled out and a 1 added. Blue trumpet though, couldn't recolour that. AJ and Omos came together too but no matching attire, Omos looked like he was going for dinner. AJ also looked like he stumbled a bit at the start.

Kofi goaded AJ into starting the match rather than Omos, leading to some liquid sequences from both former WWE Champions, each respectively rolling out of an SOS and Calf Crusher. After a back body drop Kofi stared down an unimpressed Omos, then twerked which hurt my soul. Kinda heelishly, Xavier tripped up AJ when a throat chop gave him a reprieve, leading to them keeping AJ in the corner, including the Unicorn Stomp as Omos continued to look unimpressed. Against Xavier AJ tried to drag him to his corner, but cannot get to Omos' halfhearted reaching. A team bulldog only gets 1 though. Kofi then continues to block the corner so AJ goes out of the ring to run around, only to be intercepted by Xavier. AJ continues to try and get to Omos, even being flattened by a splash by Kofi, when setting up their finisher though AJ elbows Kofi away, a visual exchange between the now free AJ and the top-turnbuckle Xavier preludes AJ finally tagging in Omos, Xavier frightened as Omos finally has a smile on his face. The 7'3 giant no sells Xavier's and Kofi's offense, charging into both on either turnbuckle, then a backbreaker to both. AJ then jumped over Omos to hit the Phenomenal Forearm to deal with Woods, Omos hit a two-handed chokeslam then pinned Kofi with one foot for the titles.

I didn't like this match's narrative, the wrestling was fine but the story wasn't done so well. For one, New Day acted more like the heels by bullying AJ and keeping him cornered, for second, Omos didn't really 'wrestle' he just no sold and did 3 safe moves and third, New Day are 11 time tag champions, Kofi a former world champion and they pinned him like that. Disrespect. The fact that the SD Tag Titles are second fiddle to a match where it's just AJ Styles plus the Great Khali, and that's Raw's Division right now, Two Thirds of New Day and this mismatch. This only highlights the severe lack of depth and WWE's booking hypocrisy. Next time you read about a 5 foot something wrestler not getting a title or a push because they're 'too green' or 'can't talk' remember that Omos won the tag titles on his debut match after doing a backbreaker, a turnbuckle tackle and a double handed chokeslam.

Humorous though is that WWE cut to a cringy Corbin ad break just as AJ was falling off of Omos' shoulders, I saw that WWE. We also cut to Sasha preparing for the match as the cage began to lower.

Steel Cage Match - Braun Strowman def. Shane McMahon (pinfall via Running Powerslam) The apathy for this match remains high considering that Shane showed up a couple months ago to steal a card slot from someone who could've been wrestling all year. Shane enters in his usual way, Braun with blinding fog and a train sound effect, cringy commentary as well as Shane keeps the door shut. Elias and Ryker soften Braun with chairs, attacking the legs and gifting Shane a chair who unloads on his grounded opponent. Once he feels he's done enough he tries to leave by the door, but Braun pulls him away, he tries to climb over the cage but gets pulled away, Braun declaring that he won't escape. Shane does his tacky jabs dodging Braun's wide swings, he tries to climb out again but Braun grabs him, but there's a planted piece of sheet metal that he uses as a weapon. After a 1 count Shane tried to escape through the door but fails, Braun decides to throw Shane into the cage walls, opening Shane to be struck by his blows and sandwiched between the cage walls, the leg gives out before the powerslam allowing Shane to ram Braun into the cage wall and DDT him, Coast to Coast gets 2 and Elias and Ryker climb the cage, hoping to pull Shane over, but Braun tackles the cage wall to knock everyone off. Shane makes the climb again but Braun is gripping onto him, bags are planted on the corners of the cage as Shane cracks Braun with a toolbox, as Shane celebrates he gets his leg over, he waves his hand through the cage at Braun but he grabs it, peeling off the cage wall to pull Shane back inside. Braun considers leaving but pulls Shane to the top of the cage, throwing Shane to the ring floor. Braun shouts at Shane, hits the running powerslam for 3.

It's good to be wrong here, though when I predicted Shane to win it was more a Pyrrhic win like being sent through a cage wall - because the build had Braun foolishly act like cage matches never have interference. This was a match, Shane planting weapons and using Elias and Ryker to prove himself 'smart' and Braun just powers out of it, the ripping the cage wall to drag Shane back in was a good spot - if not overly convenient since Shane could've dropped and gloated after - but it didn't need to be Wrestlemania.

Bayley comes back this time to the announcers table, bullying Cole out of his seat, but she's made to look stupid since Byron of all people tell her that they're waiting for the Hall of Famers, the HOF package happens again and the inductees able to attend appear on the stage, graphics of those who couldn't on the screen, NWO get their own entrance though with the NWO-painted Big Gold belt, bit unnecessary really they have enough spotlight.

Stone Cold announces the next mania in Texas in the AT&T Stadium, Booker then joins the announcer's table.

Bad Bunny & Damian Priest def. Miz and John Morrison (Pinfall by Bad Bunny on Miz via Crossbody/Electric Chair combo) A bunch of men dressed as bunnies hop into the ring before Miz and Morrison lipsync their diss track entrance. After the promo package Damian Priest makes his entrance, wearing the HBK Bondage shirt and sporting the purple, Bad Bunny appears atop of a Monster Truck in a pre-recorded segment with a lot of camera cuts, leading into the live version, looking like Rufus from Bill and Ted.

Miz and Morrison goad Bad Bunny to start the match so Priest tags him in, Miz mocks Bunny for a free shot and gets floored with a blow, waistlock and another punch, after a brief flurry Miz slows Bunny down but then gets caught with an arm drag, a toehold and a roll up for 2. Morrison attempts to snap Miz out of his frustration, but every offense he gets Bad Bunny comes back, this time with a spinning headscissors. Morrison's tagged in but gets headbutted, a 'bunny hop' jumping elbow, Miz's cheap shot leads to some heat feeding as Miz does some mocking bunny hops. He rolls over Miz for 2 but gets flattened with a boot, Morrison punishes Bunny on the announcer's table who then does a Spinaroonie while they continue to punish Bunny and incite Priest. Bunny gets a tornado DDT to open up the Hot Tag who cleans up house with strikes - more annoying camera cuts though. Chokeslam only gets 2 because Morrison breaks the count, Bunny comes in and both men hit stereo Falcon Arrows, both for 2, Priest does a tope, Bunny crossbodies from the top corner. Priest sets up his finish but gets caught with a Skull Crushing Finale, 1, 2, Bunny breaks the pin. Back into his corner Morrison tries to keep Bunny from being tagged, but Bunny hits a Canadian Destroyer onto Morrison on the outside of the ring, Miz and Priest awestruck. Priest sets up the Electric Chair, Bunny crossbodies and that's 3.

I may not know who Bad Bunny is, or particularly like his music, but he definitely meets the standards of the work celebrity guests should put in if they wanna be booked for a match. Bad Bunny did far much more spots than Omos, granted his punches flooring Miz was a bit unbelievable but overall he shone in an entertaining match, I feel bad for Miz and Morrison really, Miz was WWE champion about a month ago for a week and Morrison left at the top of Impact and AAA to come back for this? Maybe if he pairs up with his wife he'll get the booking he deserves. Also don't really know why Booker needed to be there on the announcer's table, aside from one mock spot and a GI Bro mention he didn't influence the match at all

SD Women's Championship - Bianca BelAir def. Sasha Banks (c) (Pinfall via KOD TITLE CHANGE!) And so comes the Main Event, the Royal Rumble winner comes out a sparkly EST outfit with tassels, Sasha with a black and neon green attire that definitely stood out. More shoddy camera cutting though kinda upset the flow of the entrance.

On Pre-Show - 'These two are in the Main Event regardless of Race, Regardless of Gender' On Main Event - 'For the first time two black women are having a title match on the main event at Wrestlemania' ...poor form WWE. Especially since you followed this with a Snickers plug.

The Bell rings as there are close ups on an emotional Bianca, duelling chants from the crowd as Sasha overpowers BelAir, leading her to kip up and get her own advantage, almost landing the KOD early. BelAir's power catches most of Banks' assault so she opts for counter-wrestling, she looks to count BelAir out but then decides for a Suicide Dive, but BelAir catches her and presses her back up the stairs and into the ring. Dropkick by Sasha gets 2, Bianca hits a powerslam but her handspring moonsault is blocked by Sasha yanking at the hair, using it as leverage to drive her knee into BelAir's head, Shining Wizard only gets 2. When Banks tries the knees in the corner she's planted with an Uranage, she tries to yank Bianca's hair into the corner post but Bianca powers her into it instead, a barricade crossbody also misses but the count is up to 6, both women roll in, BelAir uses an inside cradle to momentum herself up to a Vertical Suplex position, she slingshots 2 of the sides but Banks struggles, Bianca powers her back up but Sasha struggles again, BelAir powers again and lands the suplex but it takes a lot out of her. After clotheslining Sasha who was pulling on her hair, BelAir flurries with strikes and a running shooting star, Glam Slam hits but Sasha gets the knees up for the 450. The two trade pins and BelAir hits the Powerbomb for 2, she tries again but Sasha goes for a facebuster, Double Rotation Tornado DDT gets 2 for Sasha, a clunky Frog Splash which might've been a Meteora that Bianca was out of position for hits BelAir but only has 2, Sasha starts getting frustrated and goes for the arm, snaps it against the ropes then throws BelAir into the steps, she goes for the Bank Statement, wrapping Bianca's hair around her arm for added leverage, she tries to rebound off the ropes but Bianca rolls back to rope break, Sasha yanks the hair between the rope and stomps on her hair in frustration but this gets Bianca angry, she sets up a Superplex but is thrown off, she tries what looks like a Stratusfaction but gets locked into a Tree of Woe double stomp, Bianca avoids it and the running knee strike, landing the 450! 1, 2, No! Bianca freaks out, she was so sure that was it, but now the anger sets in, KOD set up but Sasha pulls the hair to right herself, Bianca cracks Sasha with her hair and tries again, but Sasha wriggles to try a Backstabber, Bianca escapes that, spins her around and lands the KOD, 1, 2, E.S.T.

A really good match from both women, met with a great ovation for Bianca. The match liked to prey on Bianca's hair a lot which may've been a little overdone, I would've liked to have seen it get a bit more than 18 minutes too. I predicted Sasha because I think Rhea's winning hers (I still do) and Sasha has once again yet to have a major Wrestlemania win, but I'm certainly not unhappy with BelAir - she put on a great performance here, especially with the fact that she fumbled her NXT Women's Title match against Baszler earlier, showing a lot more maturity and a strong face character to get behind. WWE should not have overdid the booking on this in the build but for the night, it is Bianca's night to close day one of WrESTlemania.

Conclusion NXT Stand and Deliver set a high bar for Wrestlemania to pull off, and for Night 1 at least I believe they definitely met it. There were a few downs, shoddy camerawork, non-wrestling botching and heavy mistreatment for Naomi, Bayley and the New Day but on the other hand we had great matches out of Cesaro, Bad Bunny and the other title matches including the main event, aside from the tag turmoil I'm not upset with the winners. Becky teased us with appearing before the show but it seems like it was a fakeout, was kinda hoping she'd be back but maybe it'll be Night 2

We will only find out on the night though, and there's a lot more to look forward to.

[neon-ufo]

Answering some OC asks

cool-human-98 said:

Since there's not much info about Ness, I'm really interested in what he's like. What do you have on him so far? Of course I'm asking about things that are not spoilers

Ness is 17, which makes him the youngest character in the entire story, and he acts like it too. He’s very careless, loud and free-spirited, with a good sense of what’s right and wrong.

He absolutely doesn’t know when it’s not the right time to have a big mouth and can get himself in trouble by talking too much, or not following directions.

He’s very eager to meet new people, because he didn’t have many chances to do so in the past due to reasons I don’t want to disclose yet.

He makes very quick judgements and will often make a decision in the spur of a moment, not really thinking about the consequences of it. He’s very much led by his heart more than his brain.

He loves comics and power metal, and I think the fact that Gloryhammer is his favourite band says quite a bit about him.

My friend once said he's a personification of the Ultra Pink Monster Energy drink and that’s a pretty good summary of him (thought I’d say he’s more of the Pipeline Punch flavour).

behold-a-bastard-in-this-house said:

Are there any details on Ciril's curse, maybe? As in, how he gained it and when? Thank you much!

Without spoiling too much of the core conflict of the story, Ciril’s curse was basically caused by him being too curious and going to places he shouldn’t have gone to. I am not fully set on the timeline of how long ago he’s been cursed, because it has to be lined up with events regarding some other characters (Mario and Ren), and I haven’t really sat down and properly match it up yet, but he’s been cursed for a couple of years at this point.

The curse slowly saps his energy, making him physically extremely weak; there are times when he can’t even get out of bed, and some days he can only move around with a wheelchair. He’s only 32 years old but looks much older.

While the process of the curse is slow, living with it at this point is terrible, as he’s not just weak, but he also can’t taste food, he’s constantly cold, his overall feelings feel very numb. It’s clearly out to kill him, and he has no idea how to lift it. Because death is his biggest fear, and he feels like he’s running out of time, he’s very desperate to save himself by any means necessary.

Anonymous said:

Does Vivid have a favorite meme?

Dabbing & Minecraft, no questions about it.

blacksheep28 said:

What's Vivid's big dream in life?

He’s not really a person with any big plans for the future, he keeps his options open! One thing he definitely wants is to make things that bring joy to people.

In the current time, he’s an actor in a community theater. Sometimes he plays guitar and sings on the streets and then gives his earnings to those in need, since he loves to perform, but he doesn’t really need any additional income, so he just does what he can to bring some overall good vibes to his community. If any bars have an open stage, you know he’s there. 

He can play a guitar and piano, however he doesn’t want an actual career as a musician, or an actor, as he’d find that restricting. Basically, he’s just vibin’

bayygel said:

Who is most likely to cry when surprise punched in the face? Who is least likely to cry? I hope this question is up to your standards, Jim :) because I for one am very curious!

Vivid is a HUGE weenie when it comes to pain, his pain tolerance is non-existent. He will cower at any threat of pain, despite being pretty muscular and big. Being an actor, he’s able to put up an intimidating charade if necessary, but if his bluff is called he immediately retreats to avoid any further confrontation.

As for least likely.. About half the characters are pretty damn tough. Mario and Barbi would be hard to push to crying through pain (Barbi would cry from frustration sooner than from pain), and Ren is stone-cold. However, Otto is a clear ‘winner’ here, as life got him to a point where he’s too jaded to really care about much anymore, and that includes pain (which he has an extremely high tolerance for, he could probably lose a limb and not care)

Anonymous said:

I don't have a particular question but I'd love to hear more about ren! i guess if you need something more specific then maybe something about her sibling kind of relationship with mario?

Mario and Ren started off on pretty rough terms which caused her to be wary of him for a while. On the other side, Mario felt extremely bad about it and did everything he could to make her realize she’s safe and can trust him. Eventually, she came around and they’ve been really close ever since; he was the first person she ever felt calm with and he helped her a lot when it came to basically learning how to socialize, despite him being a total extrovert and her a total introvert.

Mario is an only child who always wanted a younger sibling, so meeting Ren filled that void for him and he protects and spoils her like a little sister, he’s willing to listen to her talk about her interests even if he doesn’t get it, he takes her out shopping, plays basketball with her, etc. 

Ren is very aware of this and deeply appreciates Mario for it. He’s constantly supportive of her, and while Ren is the kind of inexpressive and quiet person that might come across ungrateful to an outsider, Mario knows better than that and knows that this means a lot to her.

Anonymous said:

On a scale of 1 to 10, how huggable are each of your characters?

Ciril: Not huggable - bony and thin, will greatly oppose to hugs. Em: Somewhat huggable - might oppose at first, but it’s very possible for his motherly instincts to kick in and a gentle hug will be returned. Mario: Huggable - but your bones will be crushed Otto: Possibly huggable? Might not know what’s going on. Alternatively, he might think you’re upset and try to awkwardly pat your back. Ren: Not huggable, will flinch. Barbi: Only huggable for friends, otherwise she will headbutt you in the face Vivid: Extremely huggable. Possibly the most huggable. Will always hug back. King: Not huggable. Will not like it. Ness: Huggable. Will be happy to receive a hug and might spin you around.

Anonymous said:

Did Jojo inspire your characters designs? If so, are there any specific characters who inspired the designs? And on the topic of design, who is your favorite and why?

Araki’s work influenced me in general, not just when it comes to character designs, it basically changed how I look at art altogether. A lot of the characters are directly inspired by stylistic choices, rather than specific characters;

- Crop tops. - While Em was not inspired by Kakyoin directly, he was inspired by how I decided to stylize Kakyoin when I drew him. - Barbi’s hair is inspired by Araki’s rigid style of drawing hair which I love a lot - King’s hair was inspired by Diavolo’s hair, because I interpreted Diavolo’s hair as having a leopard pattern, and that gave me idea for King’s zebra pattern - Similar as with Em, this isn’t a DIRECT inspiration from JoJo, but the way I draw Mario is slightly based on the way I stylized DIO - Ciril’s two-tone hair was inspired by my initial interpretation of Abbacchio’s headband being differently coloured hair on top of his head. - Ren’s pitch black no-shine eyes were inspired by Mista, and her spiky hair is a mixture of Narancia and that 2000s scene style where everyone gelled the hair at the back of their head - The ‘holes’ between the strands of Ness’ hair were inspired by how Reimi’s hair was drawn, I thought that was really cool.

As for my favourite, I’m fond of all of them since I worked on streamlining their designs a lot, but if I had to pick, I think King is generally the one I like drawing the most for some reason. I’m very happy with how Inverness turned out too, and Em being kind of a fashionista is fun to design outfits for.

Anonymous said:

Do any of your OCs watch anime? If so what type?

Ren is a bonafide weeb. Kuroshitsuji is her favourite anime because she loves Sebastian. Her favourite genres are supernatural mystery anime and slice-of-life anime. She prefers older shows and doesn’t really dig the hype of the seasonal shows, though she will occasionally check them out. She generally doesn’t like the Shounen genre. She likes Dragon Maid too, Fafnir being her favourite (as you can see she has a type). She uses Picrew to make her avatars.

Anonymous said:

Who of your OCs is the least athletic? Who's the most athletic?

Due to his current predicament, Ciril is by far the least athletic one, as sometimes he can barely walk. Before the curse, however, he was a traveller, meaning he was in a pretty good condition.

If we don’t count Ciril due to his curse, then Em would be the least athletic one. He’s slim and elegant and makes sure to stay that way, but any work out he does isn’t really preparing him for any serious conditions, he’ll be the first to lose breath if everyone ran a race (not counting Ciril who, frankly, can’t run.)

On the other side, Otto doesn’t look like it and doesn’t live like it, but he’s pretty much peak condition among my characters. He actively works out as a way to cope with the mess that is his life and had military training in the past.

(Mario is also a good competitor for this, being a fitness bro, but he doesn’t have nearly as much experience as Otto, and despite their difference in size, Otto could absolutely take him down.)

Anonymous said:

ideas on how any of your original characters would deal with self isolation/quarantine?