#I am surprised that it's been 2 years holy cow

[danzinora-switch]

Can you typing Mickey and April please🙏

Ah yes, my long overdue Part 4.

Mikey is still definitely on my To-Do list. In fact, he's sitting up near the top right now.

April, and maybe Splinter I won't promise at this time because of how long it's taking me to get to Mikey :P

(But April's totally an ENTJ enneagram 8)

[alena-draws]

I watched Blue Eye Samurai!

Something different for a change..let's make a series review! I finally came around to watching this Netflix Show that caught my interest about a year ago. Short summary: a full 8.5/10! Read under the cut if you want the long (not spoiler free) version of my review:

So first, let me tell you what I loved:

The Soundtrack? 10/10. That thing is beautiful, atmospheric, fitting...just overall, I love it.

The Voice Cast! 10/10 I just really think they are really fitting for their characters! Especially love the bad guys' voices.

The Artwork holy cow. 10/10. This thing could be a movie piece with how much care and effort is put into each background. Character designs also top notch! The colours, wow.

Scene writing/Shot writing. 10/10. I think they are done marvellously. The composition of each scene, how it progresses, the narration, I got nothing to complain!

Which, now, brings me to the overall story of the show! It's not a bad story, not at all, but I still have two things that I personally would have liked differently:

One, I am a bit disappointed that there's a second season. Probably a strong personal reference but I would have preferred this story to be done in one season only. It feels like they are turning this story about revenge into a bigger epos of finding your identity, coming to terms with the past and finding a new reason to keep going. Which are all cool themes. But, I'm not all that interested in them with these characters. I would have much rather preferred they keep this short, either Mizu gets her revenge, breaks apart in the process, or fails...whatever, but a quick definite ending for this story. On top of that, I don't feel like Mizu is really in a different place at the end of the season compared to the beginning. Of course she has found friends, and when she went back to her master she cleared her head to NOT be the demon everyone sees her at. But at the end, we're still on our way to England, for her to get her revenge. I'm sure they will make a good story out of it nonetheless- but with all the amazing skills in this project, they had the potential to make a great story out of it! Something shorter but with much more impact!

Which brings me to point 2: The story itself. Because it's a good story- but it's not a story that makes me go „Woaah ooof“ The writing of the scenes I think is really high level, but when it comes to the overall story, there's nothing that really takes me by surprise? For example: Mizu being a woman, and making her own sword out of the meteorite. Her childhood antagonist reappearing, they start off as antagonists but with some witty bickering they become somewhat friends, only to promise the potential to become even more in season 2. Of course they are back at the swordsmith's place before the final battle so that Mizu can find clarity of mind there. And Akemi, the girl that never should have been allowed to chose her own path stands atop the ruins of a country, where she might be one of the leading figures in s2. I like that there's a lot of character developmet with most characters, and that the circumstances are drastically different at the end of s1- but in a way, it feels a bit cliché to me.

My biggest fear is that everything that has been teasered, like the romance between Mizu and Taigen, Akemi's path to power, Mizu's return to the master to make her own sword- and everything that I can imagine Mizu might encounter in the new land with all the conflicting feelings that facing her ancestry will bring her- my fear is, that this might all come to be, in some way. I want to be surprised, and I want sudden unexpected elements to enter the story and change the relatively clear path that the characters are on! And going by season1, I'm not entirely sure I might get that. Well, that all sounds a bit more negative that it should probably. It's a great show! I'm just sulking a bit because..well, they could have closed everything off in one epic season with an epic showdown and BOY would I have loved to see a story about revenge where the main character completely breaks apart after accomplishing their goal. Anyway, I'm still excited for s2, and I dearly hope that everything I said and predicted here will be proven wrong!

[zephfair]

Hello? Anyone still here?

Hey, who disappeared for months and has desperately missed all her little friends who live on this hell-site but has been too exhausted and overwhelmed to actually login ... and who lost track of where this sentence was going ... Yeah, this girl.🤗

But, wow, have I missed you all and all the beauty that is Tumblr, and I hope you'll forgive me for secreting myself away since--holy cow--January.

Quick life update behind the cut.

So, I knew going back to work full-time at my age after quite a long unintended break AND now having health disabilities, well, I knew it would be hard. I knew I would have to adjust my whole, entire life. I expected it to be incredibly difficult, and I fully planned to give myself some grace and time in having to change my every routine.

But somehow, I still underestimated it.

I am so thankful to have a job now, with a steady (if small) income and benefits that frankly make me want to weep with thanks. I mean, I don't have time to go to the doctor, but at least now I could afford to go, if I could get there.

But wow, work is tough. Not just the literal work but, as I said, changing my entire life around it. I'm not complaining, but I am doing my best to learn all new skills (job is not in my old field), relearn how to work and reschedule my own needs and just upend everything.

The absolute worst thing has been trying to take care of my aunt. I was to leave town on Jan. 7 to start my training on Jan. 8.

My 90-year-old aunt fell and broke her pelvis (and a finger and needed some stitches) Jan. 2. I spent every waking hour with her over the rest of that week. While I'd planned to spend that week cleaning my house, getting my business in order and just resting, I was freaking out and traveling through the snow and literally worried sick about her.

It was bad.

And I couldn't stay with her like I did when she broke her hip because I had to attend training full-time. At least they let us come home super-early from that first on-site week of training, but that led to a literal nightmare of a drive home one night through snow, ice, rain, flooding and fog that I'm not joking I've had nightmares about before and now since. Long story.

So, I spent January and February training and working 9 hours a day then spending all day Saturday at her place cleaning and doing laundry and making sure she had everything she needed for a week, and then I had Sunday to do my own laundry and clean the house and take care of my own things...which just keep getting pushed back because I'm too worn out.

Thank God, Aunt made a miraculous recovery and now is doing her own house and laundry etc. but I still go out one day a weekend and do anything else she needs and make sure she has all her groceries and supplies and stuff.

We're all each other has.

Needless to say, I haven't been taking care of myself. I don't sleep well anyway, but add the stress of the new job and my dear aunt and my own health issues, and I'm exhausted. Weary. Overwhelmed and just so very tired. My body is so heavy, I can barely move anymore. It's bad.

And when I finally got to my doctor two weeks ago for my long-delayed check-up, found out I was right about my blood pressure being sky-high again. It went high for the first time several years ago when my Mom was dying, but it eventually settled and was fine. But yeah, it's bad again now. No shock there. And all my lovely chronic health conditions have flared which was no surprise--again, I had braced myself to expect it and power through it, and that's what I'm doing. But it sucks. And it's hard. And there's so much pain.

I don't want to say much about my job, but the over-arching Praise the Lord wonderful thing about it is working from home. There have been so many days already that I never would've been able to get to an office to work, but I can push through it here because I don't have to use any spoons to get myself "ready" (sweatshirts and leggings, no personal grooming necessary, yay), and I don't have any anxiety about driving because zero commute. It has its challenges too because Teams is a weird office communication alternative to get used to, but on the good side, I don't have to deal with interpersonal drama from co-workers.

The work itself is challenging, but I have some days where I finally feel quietly competent and think, Oh, I can actually do this. And then there are some days that leave me in tears and praying for help because it's just too hard. But there's no way I'm quitting; they're going to have to fire me because did I mention the benefits are incredible? I mean, I live in the US and if you knew how much I had to pay last year for my own health insurance, and then the scope and biopsies and then the skin cancer and surgery and then the other skin pre-cancer biopsy and treatment. Yeah, I'm still in big debt from all of that.

So I keep praying that they keep me and that I'll do a good job. And my immediate supervisor has started piling extra work on me over the past 3 weeks so suddenly I'm doing my own stuff AND cleaning up the work from co-workers who aren't keeping up. And all of them have been working since October while just a handful of us began in January?

I have been complaining about this to my aunt, and I thought it meant that my supervisor thinks I'm incapable or is punishing me for trying to get through own my entire workload every single day. But she believes he's giving me all their shit work because I'll actually do it, and I admit, I have gotten some of it completed successfully after they'd given up on it. So, I don't know.

I know that I'm a perfectionist and I've always pushed myself as hard as possible to do my best at work (not at housework and other things in my life lols) but I really hope that it gets me a good reputation at this job and they keep me.

So yeah, that's what's going on here. I've completely abandoned the fandom things in life that I actually enjoy. I almost feel, like, guilty when I'd think about trying to make some time to browse Tumblr or wasting time on social media or even trying to write fic. I get done with work at 6:30 pm, and until I get something to eat and then clean up, it's 8 or 8:30. I have to spend about an hour on the phone with Aunt (and I call her every morning, break, and lunch time too). By then, I can barely walk or move so I just try to make it upstairs to bed. Even though I can't sleep, it just feels nice to lie down.

But I miss all of you. And I miss fandom fun. And I want to be around more because maybe it would recharge me rather than me feeling so freaking overwhelmed every minute of the day.

And I promise not to complain and bitch all the time, now that I've gotten it out of my system. But thanks for listening.

I do miss you, and I love you all.

PLEASE let me know if I've missed anything important in your lives and goings on here! I've got A LOT of catching up to do!

[halfagone]

fic stats

Rules: Give us the links to your fic with the most hits, second most kudos, third most comments, fourth most bookmarks, fifth most words, and fic with the least words.

Thank you for the tag, @oliveofvanders!! <333

Most Hits

lex luthor's ascent from supervillainy to fatherhood - DPxDC

Based on this Tumblr prompt. Lex Luthor has recently acquired a son. Weapon? Parole officer? ...Lex now has a teenaged god and he'll be damned if someone tries to take the kid away from him.

Originally started as a collection of inter-connected one-shots. It was only meant to last twenty chapters. It grew plot. It's almost at 500k words. It's projected to finish at 150 chapters. I am in plot hell.

Second Most Kudos

Two For One Special - DPxDC

While in Gotham, Clark gets mistaken for Bruce Wayne. He's not alone in his dilemma, however, because a teenager by the name of Danny is also mistaken to be Tim Drake. At least Clark's having fun with his fellow captive. Day 2/November 15th: Mistaken Identity | It’s tough gaining respect from new League members when they find out one of their superiors is a 14-year-old

My submission for the DP/DC Crossover Week in 2022! This one was a lot of fun, and I'm pleasantly surprised to see how many people enjoyed it as well. :3

Third Most Comments

Off With [the Demon's] Head - DPxDC

As it turns out, Damian is not Talia's firstborn. Not her first child, not her first son. This would not be so horrible if Talia's actual firstborn hadn't been stolen from her as a babe. But he's alive. And he's not alone. As it turns out, Talia is a grandmother. She takes this news surprisingly well. If only Damian did the same.

This was a gift fic for an inquiring reader and it took up so much of my brain that it went from being a 10-chapter quick fic, to being a whole plot-filled, time traveling misadventure.

Fourth Most Kudos

Eldritch Toddler - DPxDC

Bruce is not prepared for when John Constantine hands over a young boy who has been de-aged. While Constantine goes off in search of the one responsible, Bruce and his family are left to care for the child. Danny is a sweet kid, he isn't fussy either! This should be fine. They quickly learn to take Constantine's warnings seriously. Day 3/November 16th: Eldritch Identities | The worst person to put in charge of teens is another teenager

This is Day 3 of my DP/DC Crossover Week 2022 submissions!! I am pleasantly surprised to see two of that work so high up on this list!! Very nice to see people still enjoy it after all this time. <3

Fifth Most Words

bloodlines - DPxDC

Diana stumbles upon a prophecy, which thus leads her tumbling into a secret long since kept from her and Batman. They had a son together, one who was ripped out of her arms not long after his birth. A son who is prophesized to cause the apocalypse and end the world as they know it. Although they are no longer a couple, they intend to find and raise their son to ensure this prophecy never comes to be. Neither of them realize that he's way ahead of them.

...This one has 34k words already? I had no idea it'd grown that much in only 4 chapters, holy cow. Welp, I hope to continue it someday, because the brainrot is REAL, my friends.

Fic With Least Words

silly, silly turtles - Tower of God

Takes place between Season 2, Episode 310 - 312 (SPOILER ALERT!!!!! if not caught up) In which Rak thinks about the many important turtles in his life.

This is actually my very first fic ever! It was just a 600 word one-shot, canon compliant as you can tell from the summary. I actually totally forgot about this fic, it's been so long. But I'm glad I could remember my roots now.

I suppose I'll tag~ @die-erlkonigin6083 @disillusioneddanny and @thewritingowl!! Apologies if you get @'d twice!!

[pencilofawesomeness]

20 Questions for Writers

Tagged by @kiliinstinct so let's go

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Okay so the number on my account is a slight lie because I have two anthology-type fics with many fics inside of them like an egg sac, and in htryds’ case I took all of them out and separated them and I pulled one out of the other so.... 130 unique works. And if I count the oneshots shoved inside my 2021 Whumptober anthology, then 159.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

This also requires some math for the above reason so.... 948,078. (Holy cow I am so close to one million, wait—)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mainly Fairy Tail, Genshin Impact, and Twisted Wonderland, in that order, buttttt I have a few other fandoms under my belt and I am known to branch out on a whim. (Others include Voltron, RWBY, Fullmetal Alchemist, Seven Deadly Sins, Arrowverse, Transformers, Owl House, and literally so many others that I haven't actually published...)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Alright, we got:

—5. Demon Tales [Fairy Tail] - 762 —4. The Eighth Tower [Fairy Tail] - 914 —3. Sparks in the Night [Genshin Impact] - 1,066 —2. Pain Comes in Many Forms (and so does Comfort): Whumptober 2021 [Genshin Impact] - 1,121 —1. Of Dragons and Fairies [Fairy Tail] - 1,405

(So I guess, to no one's surprise, it's mainly HTRYDS but I will say I continue to be baffled by Sparks in the Knight, that random twoshot I wrote in two days XD)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! I love responding to comments, both because it's fun and I love to let people know that I totally did read and enjoy their comment. (And I've even been able to just chat with people this way, beyond the scope of the fic itself, which is a fun little community feature I do enjoy as well.) If there's a comment I haven't replied to, it's probably because somehow it was marked as read and therefore I forgot to go back and respond.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmmm that is a tough one. I do tend to want to end things on a lighter note, despite the amount of whump I write... Maybe Mortal Instinct, actually, since I pull a bit of a (self-perceived) fate-worse-than-death bit. Though solely by audience reaction I guess it's Coming Home since I left it on a purposeful note of suspense, eheh.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Oh geez, um... I think a lot of them?? Have very happy endings?? Uhhh maybe I'll just say Of Dragons and Fairies, then, because it's meant to be very hopeful and family-shaped, with that bright future ahead.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No not really, actually. I have had a very good experience, especially on AO3.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Ha. No. (Guys I'm so aroace I barely write romance I will probably never write smut XD)

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Yes actually! Not many that are finished/posted, but boy I actually love them a lot. (Many live in my head in amorphous form to be honest.) Most are AUs, so like the world of X with the characters of Y, but for straight-up crossovers, I think the craziest is The A.I.D. Files which is a co-project with @therosefrontier where we have a longstanding universe where we combine literally everything into a multi-sectioned multiverse, and the story focuses on an agency that is comprised of people from all manner of universes, leading to a team that includes Tech E. Coyote, Dani Phantom, Iggy (from Maximum Ride), Jim Hawkins, Numbah 5, and more. That said, there's not any present plans to continue it even though it lives on in our heads XD

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of...

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

There is one! (That I know of, lol.) Sparks in the Night was translated (into a paraphrased version, at least) into German, which can be found here.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yup. With my sister, over the years. Not really a direct one on AO3 though. (Just a shared storyverse or series there.)

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Uhhhh I am not really a shipper at all, so I don't really have a hill I will die on, even though I do have ships I enjoy.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I hold onto the delusional hope that I will go back and finish all of my wips one day because I haven't abandoned them in my heart, but, I doubt I will finish United because it was a largely original world and I have been scheming for a way to make it an original work altogether, so when I revisit it, it will probably be for that.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Um. I like to think I do good character voice/inner monologue. Strength of tone and syntax and all that.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Fight scenes pain me and I also am not great at scenic/setting descriptions, mostly because I forget.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

In most cases I think there are better ways to go about it, but it has its place. Especially if the POV character doesn't know it and is trying to learn or pick up words. (Essentially it boils down to making sure the experience is understandable and authentic to the reader's promised language, otherwise it is just a surprise obstacle/gate, like expecting a reader to understand excessive medical jargon in order to know what is happening. If the language is meant to be understood by the pov character, and therefore the audience, then I feel it's best to offer a direct translation in some way.)

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Sonic the Hedgehog. In a place. That I will not name because I was very young. But it was Sonic the Hedgehog...

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Oh geez um picking favorites is hard. The How to Raise Your Dragon Slayers series as a whole is obviously my baby and I am very biased towards it, but one of my favorite pieces might actually be a FMA/MHA au oneshot that I lost in a harddrive crash and I am haunted by it because I wrote it in a frenzy of inspiration and honestly I think it slapped. XD

-

Okay so let's see which victims to tag... (Though obviously there's no pressure to do this lol): @therosefrontier, @forwantofacalling, @breezy-cheezy, @ljf613, @xxthe-hidden-spyxx, and whoever else wants to do it

[candiedapplez]

I ask you all of the questions from that one reblog. Good luck/nf/j

Omg ok this will be a while then tehehehehehehhe im not complaining though!!!! Heres the questions so u can look at the questions and the answers!

1.this one is OBVIOUS!!! A-90 and Opheebop!!! DUUUUUUUH!

2.lighter. Ive never used a match before

3.ew no!!! I don't want buggies crawling in my room while im sleeping!!!! However i have before!

4. Aaaaaa ive never really gotten into that stuff so i cant really give an answer-

5. A really dark brown!!

6. Oops i did that again???

7. Well idk ive used both and they are both work really well! however i do think scrunchies are safer for your hair, i use normal hair ties more often because scrunchies are more bulky and yeah i dont prefer that, but both are great!

8. Six. I have six.

9.NONE! COFFE IS GROSS BLEEEEEEGH!!

10. Ofc!!

11. Does drawing count?

12. Good day!!!!! I havent cried yet so-

13. Not too long ago, like an hour ago actually. I had pizza! (Incase u were wondering)

14. HELL YEAH!!!

15. Nope and i never want to be 😗

16. NoooooOoOoO-

17. Nope i have perfect vision muah

18. I DONT WANNA SAY TEHE! (Sry)

19. Yea ofc!!! But they probably wont turn out good…

20. Soda…. Ive never seen or heard anyone say pop before….

21. Plushies!!!! I have a unicorn plush my old friend (we dont talk anymore since she moved) gave me for my 7th bday!!!! Yes i remember when, yes i still have it! And its in perferct condition!!! Also there was this one kid who ig had a crush on my and he gave me a basket full of stuff for valentines day and i still have said basket-

22. I have no clue what this means? I guess sensitive?

23. Love it!!!!!

24. Eating :] (and joking abt pushing each other off probably/JOKE/JOKE/JOKE/JOKE)

25. Aaaa i use all of them but i use lotion most so ig lotion?

26. Idk what to say for this one aaaaaagh

27. Like 5 i think? Ive been getting better with my sleep time!!!!

28. Not anymore, our school last year said we could take them off, however i was SO insecure about my face (still am, but not as much as before) so i would wear it every single day. If i showed up to school without one people got surprised. I stopped wearing them this year, however.

29. Hot????

30. THE FUCKING WATER BOTTLES!!!!

31. Theres a lot, i dont wanna get into it 😵‍💫

32…… is that a thing? People have favorite towels??

33. Hm my school took us on a field trip to a high school so we can see animals if that counts… (i have pictures btw if u wanna see them! We saw pigs, sheep, cows and bunny! I didnt take pic of bunny tho 😢)

34. LITERALLY EVERY SIX THE MUSICAL SONG HOLY SHIT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS (the only ones i might mess up on are aywd and idnyl bc aywd is long and i dont listen to idnyl often)

35. Pst!!

36. Only once! My username used to have a 0 between the words (Candied0applez) but i changed it bc it made it sound like i candied no apples… but i was originally going to be called caramelapplez but i thought candied sounded better heheh)

37. The friend i mentioned earlier i met first day of kindergarden, her name is Alana, and this other girl Maya i met before kinder! We met eachother at a park and when we walked home we found out we were neighbors so we instantly became besties! (We still are to this day but she lives 30 mins away so i dont see her often-(

38. All…?

39. Sometimes!

40. Ice cream!!!

41. Empty. Coffee is gross

42. Hahahah yt, roblox and occasionally twitter!

43. HAND IT OVER BITCH!

44. Myself/j fucking donald trump 🤮👈🖕

45. NO ☺️

46. Oh god i dont watch any 🫢

47. | v

this actually was to the other girl i mentioned earlier! Maya! I found baby pictures of us when we were in 2nd-3rd grade and i showed her today!!!

48. Never and i dont plan on ever!

49. Never tried

50. GO AHEAD I GET SO EXCITED WHEN IM TAGGED IN SOMETHING AAAAA!

omg that took forever!!! Gosh i dont mind though!!! These were fun questions! Aaaaaaaa i enjoyed that tyty!

[asinglemagpie]

Today has surprised me over and over.

We dropped the car off at the dealership to have them figure out what was going on with the climate control. It’s been needing to be seen to for about 6 months, but life went hella wonky so it got put on the back burner. I talked mum out of using our usual guy (who admitted he had no idea what he was doing and would need to take the whole dash apart..?!?!) and that it was worth going to people who deal with these cars all the time. Of course when I found out it was £130 just for them to look at the car, I was feeling like I was pushing us towards doom.

First good sign was the courtesy car wasn’t confusing to drive - though in part because we’d handled a new Juke before, when we were there the first time on a recall repair.

We got home, we got settled. I had breakfast and made iced coffee for the first rime (delish), then vacuumed the stairs (the hoovers were all charged).

Gas check dude turned up. New company, so it was interesting how different he was from the usual guys we used to have. He had a few troubles taking the case off the boiler, but all the tests came back totally fine, so that got a clean bill of health for another 9 months.

While he was there we got the call that the car was done - they had been busy so they didn’t get to it until this afternoon, but it only took them an hour to diagnose and fix, so come and get it when you can.

We get there, park in the last parking spot, and go in. Turns out the reason it was so fast was because the entire problem was ONE WIRE. It needed soldering and clicking back into place. (My hunch that our usual guy accidentally did it when doing the annual service/MOT seems to be absolutely on point.) The guy said we only needed to pay for the man-hours used - £120 for the hour. (Honestly, £2 a minute seems pretty reasonable to me considering how much knowledge these people carry around to fix these things IN AN HOUR lmao.)

So we’re already in shock - we were expecting sensors and things needing to be replaced so around £500 in hours and parts. £120 on top of the £130 fee to just look at it is like... very much below the terrified expectation.

Then the guy comes out and holds out the card machine: “That’ll be £125.”

Mum’s going “Wait wait... what... are you sure?”

I’m going, “Shh, don’t question it, just pay it before he changes his mind.”

He’s going, “Just. £125“ in a very pointed manner.

So at this point we’re pretty much losing it mentally lmao. From the way it was pitched we’d be paying £250 total, and he’s giving us the earnest look to just pay the £5 less than “look at” fee and stop asking questions.

But I mean he was so nice to talk to (we chatted about Australia for a bit lol... long story) and then we paid a SIGNIFICANT amount less than we expected, and less than we were quoted... so we got the numbers for how much a full service and their MOT services cost, and with the courtesy car so Mum doesn’t miss work (because our usual place doesn’t do that, so she has to take the day off work) we’d be paying less than the overall cost it would usually be.

And it’s not to malign the usual place, they have been very good to us for a very long time, but the car is coming up to 6 years old, and the overall cost factor it’s just so worth putting her in the hands of people that know what they’re doing with this particular model of car.

We get to the car - they’d washed it! Washed it outside and did a brief clean inside too. Completely unexpected, and very appreciated because it needed doing XDD

Then we get home, sit back a second and then it’s time to cut my hair! I had decided that it’s summer, I want my hair off my face... so I got a Jamie Lee Curtis cut. Slightly longer in places because of my particular face, but at half the length it was, it was still quite a substantial chop! But I am so in love with it. Selfie on FB levels of in love lmao!

Then we got home, and tried the Slush Puppie blue raspberry ice-lollies and holy cow they are perfect. Gonna need to get so many more, and I need to hunt for the proper stuff to mix with crushed ice because I need it for summer.

So... yeah... honestly so relieved at how well today went!

[slutforbuck]

Traveling Soldier -- Bucky Barnes x Reader

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

*1941*

“What do you mean you’re enlisting? You can’t leave me here.” You stared at Steve and Bucky with wide eyes. “Y/n it’s our duty to this country to go,” Steve started to reassure you that everything would be fine. “We won’t be gone that long, you will probably even enjoy the peace for a while.” Bucky smiled at you and gave you a small wink. “Eleven years. Eleven years we have been attached at the hip, and now you’re going to leave me here. Alone.” Tears began to well up in your eyes as you stared at them. Steve looked down, unsure how to handle you crying. Bucky wrapped you up in a hug, “I promise everything will be fine. Nothing is going to happen to us doll.” He pulled back and looked into your eyes, “We will write every chance we get. I promise.” One tear broke free and slid down your cheek. You wiped it away quickly, not wanting the boys to feel any worse. Steve turned to you, “I love you y/n. I promise I’ll write, and we will be home soon. Take care of the house.” Your brother gave you a quick peck on the cheek before walking to the door. “I’ll meet you outside Buck. Goodbye y/n, wish me luck.” With a huge goofy smile and a wink, your brother closed the door. Bucky looked down at you. “I know it’s hard, but I promise we will be fine.” You couldn’t keep the tears at bay anymore, and they began streaming down your face. You started to speak, but then realized that the words wouldn't come out. Bucky pulled you in for another hug, and softly kissed the top of your head. “I’m gonna miss you, you know that right? But I have to do this. I’ll write you as soon as I can, I swear.” You looked up at the tall man, “You come back in one piece James.” He looked down at your teary eyes and placed a soft, quick kiss on your lips. “I promise.” He smiled at you, then walked to the door. You stood there, fingers to your lips where his had been, “You aren't going to say goodbye?” Bucky turned and gave a small smile as he opened the door, “Goodbye is too final. I’m coming back.”

You sat down in your rocking chair in the corner, fingers still to your lips. He kissed you. James Buchanan Barnes kissed you. He was a sweet man, you’re sure he didn't mean anything by it.

A few hours pass, and you are cooking supper in the kitchen when you hear the front door open. You grab a nearby knife and slowly walk towards the door. As you raise your arms with the knife, Steve yells for you to stop. “You could kill someone like that!” “Steve?” You looked at him confused. “Why are you home? You were supposed to be enlisting. What happened?” Steve looked down at his shoes. “I was rejected. Too many health issues they said. I’m trying again. I’ll just keep changing my city and going to every enlistment center until they accept me.” Rolling your eyes, you looked behind him, hoping to see the tall, dark haired man that was almost always with him. “Where is—,” Before you could even finish your thought, he looked at you. “He was accepted. He told me to tell you that he would write you as soon as he could.” You sighed and walked back to the kitchen to finish supper.

While Steve was off trying to be accepted, you managed to get a job with Howard Stark as a lab assistant. Most of your job was running files to different people, and helping Mr. Stark record information during his experiments. Letters from Bucky began coming in after a few weeks, and it helped improve your mood.

*1943*

“Stark Expo! We will showcase all of our latest inventions, show these people a look into the future!” You looked at Mr. Stark with a small smile, “It is a wonderful idea sir. I will begin making preparations for you.” Howard looked at you, “Make sure Mr. Erskine is there. I would like to find some candidates for Project Rebirth that night.” You nodded, “Yes sir. I will find him right away.”

“Everything is set up and ready to go Mr. Stark. Do you think that it might be possible to have the day of the Expo off sir? I would like to spend a little time with my brother.” Howard smiled softly at you, “Of course y/n, you have done an exceptional job. I will let you know how things go with Project Rebirth the day after. I am hoping that we will be very busy.” “Yes sir. I will see you then.”

The next morning as you were cooking breakfast, Steve came in. “I’m trying again. Surely they’ll accept me this time.” You paused and turned towards him, “Steve don’t you think it’s time to stop? I know how much it means to you, but this will be the fourth time you’ve tried.” He looked at you, with an almost anger in his eyes. You turned back to the stove and apologized. “I’m sorry Steve, you go ahead. If it doesn’t work out, come back here. Please?” Steve smiled, “It’s going to happen this time, I’m sure of it.”

A few hours later, Steve was back at home. “Rejected again. Who cares if I have asthma?? I just want to

do what’s right. I want to serve my country!” He sat at the table, head in his hands. “How about we go see a movie? Maybe it will cheer you up.” He looked up at you and reluctantly agreed.

A war commercial played on the screen before the movie. You began tearing up, thinking about Bucky being gone, dealing with everything the war would throw his way. Worrying that one day your brother would succeed in enlisting, and that it was possible you might one day lose both Bucky and Steve to the war. You were jerked away from your thoughts when you hear a man loudly shouting, wanting the war commercial to be over. Steve spoke up, “Hey buddy, you wanna shut up?!” The man stood up and turned, he was much larger than Steve, and you ran out the door after the two men. You watch as the man keeps hitting Steve, who is not giving up. He throws one last punch, and Steve falls to the ground. You jump in-between the men, begging them to stop. The man grabs your arm, and squeezes tightly. Before you could say anything, you hear a familiar voice. “Hey! Pick on someone your own size.” You squeeze your eyes shut, and the man is ripped away from you. You slowly open your eyes to see Bucky standing in front of you. “Bucky! You didn’t say you were getting to come home!” You threw your arms around his neck, and he hugged you tightly. Steve pulled himself up off the ground. “Sometimes I think you like getting punched.” Bucky smirked at Steve as he leaned down to pick up a card from the ground. “I had him on the ropes.” You checked him over to make sure he was okay. You stood back up and looked at Bucky, who looked upset. “How many times is this? Oh, you’re from Paramus now? You know it’s illegal to lie on the enlistment form. And seriously, Jersey?” Steve looked away from his friend. “Get your orders?” Bucky straightened up and smiled, “107th. Sergeant James Barnes. Shipping out for England tomorrow.” You leaned against the wall and looked down, already feeling the tears welling up in your eyes. “Come on you two,” Bucky said as he wrapped an arm around yours and your brother’s shoulders. “Where are we going?” “The future.” You internally groaned. Your one night off and you were still going to work.

“Welcome to the Modern Marvels Pavilion and the World of Tomorrow. A greater world. A better world.”

The three of you stood at the stage as you watched Howard enter. You watched as he showed off his hovering automobile. Bucky’s eyes widened, “Holy cow.” The car suddenly fell back to the ground, and you smirked, watching Howard recover. You turned to Bucky, then realized neither he nor Steve were next to you. You work your way through the crowd until you see the enlistment tent. You groan to yourself, and rush over just to hear the end of what sounded like an argument. “Bucky, come on! There are men laying down their lives. I got no right to do any less than them. That’s what you don’t understand. This isn’t about me.” “You’re trying again?” You knew what was in the tent, and prayed that Dr. Erskine wouldn’t see Steve. Steve looked to you as Bucky rubbed his eyes in frustration. “I have a good feeling this time. It’s gonna happen.” You looked at him and shook your head. “Be careful Steve. If it actually happens for you, please be careful. You better write me.” You hugged your brother one last time, before Bucky wrapped an arm around your waist. “Don’t do anything stupid until I get back.” Bucky began walking you away from the tent. “How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you.” You both looked back towards him, “You’re a punk.” Bucky hugged his friend goodbye. “Jerk. Be careful.” Steve smiled then walked into the tent.

Your arms draped loosely around Bucky’s neck as you swayed to the music. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming home? You just sent me a letter and didn’t even hint towards it,” you looked up at his steel blue eyes as he pulled you closer. “I wanted to surprise you. I’m only home for tonight, and honestly I was a little worried about coming to see you.” “Sergeant James Barnes, worried about something? I don’t believe it.” He smiled softly at you, “I was afraid I wouldn’t want to leave. I was right to be afraid though. I don’t want to leave you again.” You felt your heart drop to your stomach. You heard what he had said, but surely he didn’t mean it the way you wanted him to. You pulled away and began walking to find somewhere to sit down. Bucky was right on your heels, with a confused look on his face. “Y/n what did I say? What’s wrong?” As you sat down, you looked up at him with a lump in your throat and your heart in your feet. “Bucky you can’t just say stuff like that. Not now. Not to me.” Still confused, he sat next to you, “Why not? I’m not allowed to tell you that I miss you like crazy? That knowing I’m helping protect you is what is getting me through this war?” You looked at your feet, “Not when I know you feel the same about me as you do Steve. We’re friends. That’s all we have ever been, and that’s all we will ever be.” You breathed deeply in a poor attempt to stop tears from forming and spilling over. Bucky’s face softened as he realized what was happening. “You have never been just a friend to me. You’ve always been so much more to me,” he whispered to you as he lifted your face to look at your big y/e/c eyes. “I can’t go back over there without you knowing how I feel about you. You are the most amazing, beautiful woman that I have ever met y/n. You make my heart skip beats, you make me nervous. I enlisted because I felt like it was the best way to protect you from what was happening. This is the worst time to say this, I know. But I can’t leave again until I know that you know that I love you.” He looked deep into your eyes, looking to see if you felt the same. Your tears began to stream down your face, “Bucky,” you breathed deeply to steady your voice and gain a little confidence. “I knew from the moment I met you that I loved you. I have never not loved you.” Bucky smiled and pulled you close to his chest. He leaned towards you, and you met his lips with yours. Your chest felt like it was going to explode as he pressed a kiss to your lips. He finally pulled away, “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.” Looking a little confused you reminded him that he had kissed you before he had left to enlist. “That doesn’t count. I was just testing the water. I wanted to say something so badly that day, but I lost my nerve and just couldn’t.” You smiled at him and pulled him back to dance, “Dance with me Buck.”

*later that night*

“Do you have to go?”, with tears in your eyes, you looked at Bucky. “Please don’t go. I don’t want you to leave again. What if something happens to you? Please.” Big pleading eyes filled with tears as you looked at the man in front of you. “Y/n, I have to go. You know I have to go.” You heard the pain in Bucky’s voice and he wrapped you in his arms. “I promise I will write as often as we can. I’m not leaving forever, just for a little while doll.” You felt a soft kiss press to the top of your head, and you finally let the tears in your eyes spill over. You looked up, and your eyes met Bucky’s. His eyes began to water as he looked at you, and he gave you a tight, sad smile. “I’ll write as soon as I can. I’ll be back so soon you won’t even know I’m gone. When I get back, I’ll take you back to Coney Island, and we can see how quick it takes your brother to vomit again.” He gave you a wink before he pressed a soft kiss to your lips. “I love you so much, I swear I’ll come back” “Please come back in one piece Buck,” you whispered as you softly kissed his cheek. “I love you James Buchanan Barnes.” He looked at you with watery eyes and saluted before he turned and walked out your front door.

[dancer-me]

Fic Writer Questions

@hopeintheashes tagged me (that was pleasantly surprising, so YAY) as well as anyone who wants to play (so if you want do - just do it!!!) 1) How many works do you have on AO3?

I have nine!

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

106,461! I broke 100,000 on AO3 and didn't notice =O

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

For posted fanfiction, I have written for 5 fandoms at this point. Naruto (this was my early days, around 2007 to 2015, with pretty huge gaps inbetwen), Merlin (oops), High Seas (just the one small fic because Netflix had me angsting hard enough to break my hiatus), and of course 9-1-1 and 9-1-1 Lone Star!

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. Express to Nowhere (911 / 911 Lone Star) 2. Giving up Ground (911 / 911 Lone Star) 3. Quarter Life Crisis (911) 4. Pull me Under (911) 5. Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You (911)

5) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I hesitate to say this about a WIP but I'm pretty sure it's going to be Giving up Ground when it's done. Not that it's going to have a sad ending, but that it's part of a continuous series and I already have the next part planned out and partially started (titled "Overdrawn" for anyone interested) so it will leave things feeling hopeful but open-ended, which can be construed as angsty. But really, all my other stories, while they have angst for the most part, have happy endings because I'm a sucker for it. Chaotic Energy is slow burning itself to the happiest of endings.

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Hmm... I think it's Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You! This story was just such a fun blast of drama, hijinks, and hilarity, with our two leads getting their love story at the end of it all :) All my completed works have very happy endings, but this one resonates because there really wasn't any angst at all in the whole thing. Just good fun!

7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

The only cross-over I have ever written or been compelled to write in my life has been with 9-1-1 and 9-1-1: Lone Star, and that's my Chaotic Energy series. I don't know if it's "crazy", though it's turning out to be crazy long, since my original plan for it was 5 separate one-shots and Captain, that ship has long since sailed. We're deep at sea now, SOS. I love what it's become, though, and I hope everyone who reads it is enjoying the journey :)

8) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Weeeeeeeeell. Here's the thing. I wrote m/f smut back in the day, on ff.net and carried my one shots over to AO3 when I made the move. I'm talking way back in the day - those two "E" stories are dated 2015 but I actually originally posted them in 2011 - TEN years ago!! I haven't written smut since (I'm not counting TK and Carlos getting frisky in chapter 2 of Giving up Ground). It's not that I wouldn't, but that I haven't been inspired and with time somehow I have also become ragingly self-conscious over whether I could still do a good job. My smut has always been emotion based though, as I've never been able to truly go PWP. That said, I'm actively open to and considering some m/m smut for my current fandom. Fingers crossed I don't embarrass myself.

9) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I do on all my recent work on AO3 (basically my 9-1-1 and lone star fics that I've written since coming out of hiatus).

10) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not on any of my AO3 work, though I have received hate on my much older work on ff.net to varying degrees of reasonability. So far the AO3 community has been very kind to me! I’ll get some comments where I think readers had hoped I’d go in a different direction, but nothing has ever been too much.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of! Imitation is the greatest form of flattery but also no, stop, don’t do that.

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, actually! I wrote my first ever published fic for Naruto called “Stand Alone” back between 2007 and 2011 (took a couple years off in the middle there to, you know, finish high school…) that someone asked me if they could translate into Russian. At the time I thought that was super cool, and it still is, but now I look back at that story and I think oof, now we can cringe at it in multiple languages. (more on that later)

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I’m not opposed to it! I’ve seen some excellent fic partnerships and it’s so great seeing writers leverage the creativity and talents of their friends and peers.

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

Y’know, before 9-1-1, it was Merlin x Arthur, but Buck x Eddie have 110% of my heart and attention now.

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

On the topic of Merlin… I started writing “The Quest for the Knife” back in 2015 at the peak of my Merlin fixation after painstakingly planning it out. I have pages upon pages of outlines and notes for a 14 chapter adventure… somewhere. I found a piece of it like an archeological dig when I was moving this pandemic season, but the rest seems lost to time. I’m sad because I had gotten so excited about it and loved my first two chapters, but I don’t think I’ll ever finish it. I might take it down so I can stop wallowing in guilt.

16) What are your writing strengths?

I like to think I write good action / adventure scenes and plot lines, because I love painting vivid pictures of what I see playing out in my head whenever I think through my stories. I like to incorporate subtle (and not so subtle) humour as well in my work, which is born from my very active internal narrator voice as I go through my day-to-day and try to find the humour in everything. I also like to make outlines before all my bigger stories too, which ‘usually’ means I avoid cringey plot holes and can make some fun connections.

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

*looks at the camera very seriously* writing convincing smut. Well, that, and the kind of emotional, flirty love and fluff that I love devouring in fics. I don’t think I do nearly as good a job there. Get in a character’s head and angst them up? Sure. Wax poetic in a convincing and not jarring way about how much Character A is in love with Character B without making it seem like it was a bit too much of a leap? Debatable.

Also… I tend to require my readers to suspend a lot of disbelief to enjoy my fics with elements of adventure, because I tend to do exactly 5 minutes of Google research for something before I decide I’ve had enough and go ahead.

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Here we revisit the cringe of “Stand Alone,” where I tried in the first half (the 2007 portion) to incorporate Japanese since I watched the anime in Japanese and felt this was the best way to try and have the character’s voices come off the page. It… is really just a big ol’ cringe, because I didn’t know the language, and I definitely didn’t use suffixes right at ALL. So… I tend to avoid it personally because I don’t want to cringe at how wrong my use of other languages is.

But if it fits you, your story, fits your character, and you know the language confidently enough to not embarrass yourself? You do you *carefully side steps around discourse and leaves the room*

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Naruto!

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I think it has to be “Express to Nowhere” these days. It was wanting to write that fic that pulled me out of hiatus and helped me find joy in writing and sharing my work again, and I have nothing but love for it and how it turned out.

Holy Cow I was warned that this level of introspection was going to take a minute but whew this was a good chunk of time. Fun to do and think about though!

Tagging: @221bsunsettowers, @onelonelytortillachip, @blueeyedbuckley and anyone who sees this and thinks, "hey, I have an answer for these questions." Because I am madly curious and would love to see your take!

[labyrinthof-fan-fiction]

Breathe {2}

Part 2

Masterlist

A/N: This is the most planned out fic. I think I’ve ever written, holy cow. Steve would be yelling language so much at this chapter. I cannot stress to all of you how much Sam or Bucky are not straight in this.

Rating: M

Summary: Six months after Endgame, Bucky sees John Walker with the shield, it’s time to talk to Sam. Steve died of old age and is the Major Character Death. Unrequited Stucky, eventual SamBucky.

Warnings: Major Character Death, Self Harm, Swears, Angst, Grief,

Word Count: 2,301

Six months passed, Bucky had been a stranger, but he had been busy. Getting acclimated to the modern world was not as easy as he had hoped. Brooklyn had changed, just like everything else. Businesses were gone, families he had known died, but it still was Brooklyn. He had taken a self guided tour when he first moved into the apartment. There were plaques all over the place with his and Steve’s name on them. He remembered staring up at their old building, or at least the plot of land it had been in, that was now some kind of apartment complex, and wondered why the hell they had thought to put a bronze plaque out front. Reading the plaque had caused his skin to crawl, the two friends lived together for years. That shouldn’t bother him as much as it did, but it kept nagging at his mind. Two friends, that’s all they were, no matter his feelings, they were friends. Til the end of the line. That phrase popped back into his mind. Bucky had ninety years, but there were three words he never got to say.

He had turned away once he finished reading, tears starting in his eyes and his hands clenched. He stumbled into two men who were holding hands.

“Watch it!” The taller one snapped, pushing the other behind him protectively. Bucky had frozen for a moment, eyes flicking around the two, whose hands remained intertwined. The one who had been pushed aside whispered in the other’s ear. “Alright, let’s go, but watch where the fuck you’re going.”

Bucky mumbled an apology, but his eyes wandered back to the couple as they walked away, their hands intertwined. He pushed down the ache he felt in his chest, shoved his hands into his pockets, and shuffled his way back to his apartment. Once he was at the place he now called home, he got onto the computer that had been left for him. Hydra had taught him how to use one, that was one skill he was grateful for.

Aside from reacquainting himself with life, he was making amends for his time as the Winter Soldier and attending his court mandated therapy sessions with Dr. Raynor. Busy, cleaning up years of messes he had made for Hydra, catching u At least that’s what he kept telling himself every time his phone dinged and it was a text from Sam. I’ll get to it. He kept saying, but he didn’t.

He sat in front of her birch tree wallpaper. He hated the room, the couch, not so much Dr. Raynor, but he hated the situation. He spent years with someone else in his head, and he didn’t need another person added to the list to comb through his mind.

Bucky continued in his usual fashion of giving her one word answers. Then he started to talk about the name he crossed of his list of amends, he parroted back Rule Number Three.“I am no longer the Winter Soldier, I am James ‘Bucky’ Barnes, and you are part of my effort to make amends.”

“Give me your phone.” She ordered, he sighed and handed it over, she started going through the phone. “You’ve been ignoring the texts from Sam.” He shifted in his seat uncomfortably. “You’re alone, you have no family. It’s sad.”

He clenched his jaw. “I’m trying. I had calm in Wakanda, for ninety years I have gone from one fight to another.”

“So now that you’ve stopped fighting, what do you want?”

Bucky paused and considered his answer. “Peace.” He answered.

She scoffed, “That’s bullshit.”

Bucky remained silent, because he knew she was right. He did want peace, but that wasn’t his top priority. “Thanks doc.” He muttered as he walked out of her office and made his way home.

He grumbled to himself and made his way to the makeshift bed on the floor. He had tried to sleep in the bed, that first night after Steve was gone, but he couldn’t. Too soft, too warm, but the floor, that was just right. He sat on the floor and turned on the television, turning to the news channel, it was the only thing he could tolerate, at least it used to be the only thing he could tolerate. Sam had given up the shield. And now some asshole was walking around with Steve’s legacy on his arm. Bucky hadn’t met Walker, but he already knew, he wasn’t Captain America. The pomp and circumstance around his announcement disgusted him, Sam wouldn’t have done this. He reached in his pocket and pulled out his cell phone, glancing at Sam’s message from earlier that day.

I’ll be in town this week. Teaming up with the Air Force, wanna grab a bite?

Bucky felt guilty for ignoring him all this time, he hadn’t wanted to. But he didn’t want to burden Sam, from the little bit he had learned from Steve, Sam had baggage too. He glanced back at the message. Air Force. That was something Bucky was still familiar with.

Bucky walked into the hangar. “Why’d you give up the shield?”

“Good to see you too, Buck.” Sam said calmly, ignoring Bucky’s question.

Bucky followed Sam and listened to him rattle on about the ‘Big Three.’ Aliens, androids, and wizards, the fuck? “I read the Hobbit, in 1937, when it came out.”

He didn’t miss the mildly surprised look on Sam’s face, but followed him onto the plane, like hell he was being left behind, not again. He sat across from Sam, glaring and Sam bared down and his brown eyes met Bucky’s blue. And in that moment, Bucky’s heart skipped a beat.

Bucky watched Sam jump out of the plane, and sighed. Following another idiot into certain danger. He thought to himself before jumping out, and then hitting every possible tree branch on the way down. He caught a flash of red just before he hit the ground.

“I got all of that.” He heard Sam chuckle as Redwing hovered above him.

“Get it out of my face, Sam, before I break it.” Bucky snarled through his teeth. Trying to ignore Sam’s laughter, and the little beep from Redwing.

Bucky followed Sam into the warehouse, slinking into the shadows into a separate hallway.

“Look at you, White Panther.” Sam snickered through the comms.

Bucky sighed and rolled his eyes, “White Wolf, actually.”

Sam’s quiet laughter filtered through the comms, and Bucky’s face grew warm, he shook his head and continued walking. He met Sam in a large storage room, he could see a man lifting a large pallet of boxes. “I could take him.”

“Just wait.” Sam murmured, tapping on his goggles. “There’s more.”

“I could take them.”

“Just because you have a vibranium arm doesn’t mean you can take everyone in the world.” Sam grumbled, looking out at the semis waiting. “They’ve got a hostage.”

The trucks started to pull away and Bucky ran after them. Sam was yelling at him through comms, but he didn’t care, he jumped on the back of the second truck and ripped the door open. He glanced around, “Looks like vaccines.” A girl with curly red hair stepped out from behind one of the she glanced up timidly at Bucky. “I’m here to help.” Bucky said, holding out his hand to her. A smirk appeared on her face, “Son of a—“

Bucky flew from the semi as she kicked him in the chest. He glared up at her as she gave a last smile before jumping to the top of the truck. Bucky chased after her and was instantly thrown into a fight with her and two other men. They started kicking and punching him before the men grabbed ahold of both of his arms and turned him to face her. Redwing began to buzz around her head and she groaned, then grabbed the drone from the air and snapped in half over her knee.

“I’ve always wanted to do that.” Bucky said wistfully, catching Sam’s eyes for a moment before Sam engaged the girl and was thrown to a separate truck and pinned down by two men that Bucky hadn’t noticed.

Then that damn red, white, and blue saucer flew through the air. Bucky glanced up to see Steve’s government replacement jump from the helicopter. Bucky caught the shield as it rebounded from the hit, then it was immediately taken by Walker. Bucky gripped the bottom of the semi, snarling as the super soldier continued to stomp on his hand until his grip was broken and he was holding on by one arm. He snarled as he slid down the truck and wrapped himself around the bottom of the trailer frame. The tires hitting the pavement sounded louder then he glanced over to see a flash of silver and red.

“That little girl kicked your ass.”Sam joked before barreling under the semi, pulling Bucky with him and they rolled into a field, the two grunting until they came to a stop. Bucky was on top of Sam, his eyes met Sam’s and Bucky felt his stomach flip, then his eyes flicked down to Sam’s lips. He panicked and rolled off Sam, he paused for a moment, trying to calm his breathing. “You’re welcome by the way.” Sam snarked.

“Asshole.” Bucky grumbled. “Those were super soldiers.” Bucky murmured, still feeling his heart flutter in his chest.

“Yup.” Sam said, standing up from the ground and walking to the road, glancing back at Bucky on the ground for a moment before walking towards the road.

Bucky grumbled and rolled onto his feet, falling into step beside Sam. They continued talking about the implications of the super soldiers. Dread was thrumming though Bucky’s body, super soldiers meant Hydra. His arm ached, he shook it off and continued to walk along side Sam, listening to him talk about his connections, where he would get the information next. Then he heard the honk of a horn.

Bucky glanced over to see the new blonde haired, blue eyed boy who wanted to be Captain America. “We’re pretty sure it’s one of the big three.” He called out to them.

Bucky glanced over at Sam with a raised eyebrow. How many of you have this damned big three idea? He thought to himself, Sam rolled his eyes. “Or it’s super soldiers.” He answered, not making eye contact with Walker.

“You really think so?” Lamar asked.

“We gotta work together. That’s the only way.” Walker said.

Bucky bristled, like hell was he going to work with him. He might think he looked the part, but there was no fucking way that this guy was Captain America. He was no Steve Rogers, Bucky’s eyes wandered over to Sam. And he sure as hell was no Sam Wilson. “Just because you carry that shield doesn’t make you Captain America.” He snarked, Sam gave him a small nudge.

“I put in the work. I know you didn’t expect to see the shield, Bucky” Walker snarked back defensively.

Bucky’s blood began to boil, who the fuck did he think he was, calling him Bucky. “Did you? Have you jumped on a grenade?” Bucky snarled, rage building inside him.

Walker started to go on a tirade about jumping on grenades, and plans for them. Bucky didn’t care. “C’mon, it’s twenty miles to the airport, get in the truck.”

Sam sighed and started climbing in the back of the truck. Bucky glared, he didn’t like it, but he wasn’t leaving Sam alone with these guys. Bucky remained silent and let Sam fill Walker in. He threw in a few

“You hacked my tech?” Sam snarled, Bucky could feel him stiffening next to him.

“It’s government property, I’m kind the government.” John answered nonchalantly.

Bucky turned his glare directly onto John, each time he opened his mouth Bucky added to his mental list of reasons why this man wasn’t fit to be Captain America. He thought that he had created a long enough list after watching his first interview, but no, meeting him in person. Bucky had a hell of a list going.

“It’d be a lot easier if I had Steve Roger’s best friend and wingman on my side.” John said.

Bucky tilted his head at Sam, who remained silent, but Bucky could see the fire lighting in his eyes. “Stop the car!” Bucky didn’t look back as he started walking on the path, Sam fell into step beside him. Bucky was seething, he started taking deep breaths to try to calm himself once they were out of eyesight of the others. He stopped and pinched the bridge of his nose, taking deep breaths.

“Come on, Buck, calm down.” Sam murmured, stopping next to him, dropping a hand to his shoulder.

“He’s an asshole.” Bucky managed to spit out.

Sam laughed, “Yeah, he is. But you seem to like calling everyone an asshole today, especially people who saved your ass.”

Bucky squinted his eyes and glanced over at Sam, who had a small smile on his face. “I don’t like him.”

“You don’t have to.” Sam said, giving Bucky’s shoulder a small squeeze.

“Good, cause I wasn’t planning on it.”

Sam let out a full bodied laugh, he reined it in and glanced at the other man. “You okay?”

Bucky sighed, “He’s not Steve.” He’s not you.

Sam nodded, he removed his hand from Bucky’s shoulder. They continued in silence, both men in their minds. Bucky wasn’t sure what Sam was thinking about, but Bucky already had three plans devised for how he was going to steal the shield from Walker and make sure it ended up in Sam’s hands. Because if an asshole was going to be wielding the shield, it was going to be his asshole of choice.

[fanficnewbie]

Sienna Weighs in P9

OPEN HEART: SECOND YEAR - CHAPTER NINE

(ETHAN x FEMALE MC)

MC is Dr. Francesca Houseman *This entry takes place two days after the Mass Kenmore heist. (This is a chapter by chapter series…)

Baz starts to question Francesca and Ethan’s relationship.

To anyone who may have noticed how late I am with this installment, thanks for your patience. I think I needed to write this when I knew OHB2 was coming back online.

PREVIOUS CHAPTERS Chapter 1:  MC tells Sienna about her Ethan convo at Donahue’s. Chapter 2:  MC and Sienna discuss Ethan’s gym routine. Chapter 3:  MC questions how well she really knows Ethan. Chapter 4:  MC takes Elijah and Sienna to see Evelyn’s exhibit. Chapter 5:  Sienna talks MC through a panic attack over Ethan. Chapter 6:  Sienna cheers on MC for standing up to Ethan. Chapter 7:  MC confides in Sienna how she met Ethan’s mother. Chapter 8:  MC has to the consequences after the baseball game.

Word Count: 1935 Rated: Teen

*** Francesca closed her eyes against the crisp breeze as it rushed past her face. For the first time in the past few weeks she felt a sense of contentment. She had gotten her revenge on Mass Kenmore, both by beating them at the softball game and stealing the Senator from them. She was back on good terms with Aurora, Kyra was scheduled for her life saving surgery, and Ethan had passionately kissed her not once, but twice. 

“Why are you smiling?”

She turned to Baz who was strolling next to her, “I’m just,... I’m excited for ice cream.”

Baz arched his eyebrow, “It’s really that good, huh?”

“Yes, and you must order ‘Death by Chocolate’. No questions asked.”

“Well, at least I’m guaranteed to die happy.” Baz laughed as the small shop came into view. 

He was someone else Francesca was grateful for. A true ally, someone who didn’t pretend to be anything other than what he was (unless he was pretending to be Zaid). Their hospital heist had brought them closer together, reinforcing their growing bond. Still unsure of June’s true motives, Francesca at least knew she could now trust one other person on the team.

Sienna looked up as they walked into the ice cream shop, she smiled and waved them over to her table, “Hey, you two!”

And of course there was Sienna. There were hardly words to express how much she meant to Francesca, and after their softball game fallout, she was almost happiest of all that their friendship was back on track. 

Francesca sat down, “Hey there. You got my text about Baz joining us right? I owe him this treat.”

Baz grabbed a menu as he sat, “Yes, to celebrate the sweet success of our latest win over Mass Kenmore.”

Sienna giggled, “Yes, I did and I’m glad you could join us Dr. Mirani. You guys are bona fide heroes! The whole hospital has been talking about your coup. I still can’t believe you managed to pull it off.”

“Well, we had quite a bit of luck on our side.”

“Yes, and his name is Dr. Ethan Ramsey.” Baz put down the menu, it’s obviously a ‘Death by chocolate’ hot fudge sundae for me. Do you guys know what you want?”

Francesca and Sienna gave him their selections as he got up to order from the counter. As soon as he was out of ear shot, Francesca lowered her voice and leaned in excitedly, “I haven’t had a chance to tell you, but Ethan kissed me again the other day!”

Sienna didn’t even try to hide her glee, “What?! How?! When?!”

Francesca looked over her shoulder to make sure that Baz was still out of hearing range, “At Mass Kenmore! We were about to get caught by someone on staff and needed a distraction. Next thing I know, his body is pressed against mine and his tongue is in my mouth! It was unexpected, and hot, and crazy, and glorious!”

“What was crazy and glorious?” Baz smiled as he reappeared, handing them each a bottle of water.

“Uh, our revenge on Mass Kenmore. A patient stolen for a patient stolen.”

“Hear, hear!” Sienna held up her bottle in a mock cheers. “To the best Diagnostics team in Boston!”

The three laughed as they knocked their bottles together, then settled into an easy banter about hospital life, clueless interns and difficult patients until their ice cream was served. Baz took a bite, “Okay, this is heavenly. Your friend who recommended it is my new best friend.”

Francesca shifted uncomfortably as Sienna leaned over to pat her arm, “She’ll get through the surgery, she’ll be okay.”

Baz shook his head, “I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. I wasn’t thinking.”

Francesca smiled, “No, it’s fine. It’s not like Kyra isn’t constantly on my mind already. Part of the reason I wanted to come here is because it reminds me of her. I know she’d be happy to know that we’re celebrating a small success. We have to enjoy them as they come.”

Baz nodded, “We do, we really do.”

There was a short silence as they continued eating until Sienna spoke up, “Hey, Aurora told me that you guys are okay again. I’m so glad to hear it.”

Baz chuckled, “Yeah, that was crazy. I thought we were done for sure when I saw her. Based on what I overheard at the softball game, it sounded like she owed you one Francesca.”

Francesca bit her lip, “Yeah, I guess she did.”

Baz finished his ice cream in astonishingly short order and pushed his cup away, “Okay, Francesca, I have a question for you.”

She turned to him with her spoon in her mouth.

“What’s going on between you and Ethan?”

Francesca exchanged a quick but panicked look with Senna before she answered, “What do you even mean?”

Baz shrugged, “I never really noticed or thought about it until June said something---”

“June?!” Francesca was still processing that June would be talking to Baz about her and Ethan as Baz answered, “Yeah, she mentioned something about how you guys have history.”

They both turned to Sienna when she started to laugh, “Of course they have history. Where have you been? Together they saved Dr. Banjeri’s life.”

Baz mulled her words for a bit, “Well, yeah, there’s definitely that. But I’m not sure it explains everything else…”

Francesca tried her best to sound casual, “What’s everything else?”

“For one, he’s chosen to take you out in the field each time we’ve had a patient require it since you joined the team.”

“She’s new!” Sienna chimed in, “He’s obviously exposing her to those opportunities as part of her training.”

Baz nodded, “Okay, but the way you yelled at him when we were at Leland Bloom’s house. I mean, it was awesome but, how’d you get away with it?”

Francesca started to answer, but hesitated as she struggled to come up with something plausible.

“But she didn’t get away with it.” Francesca turned to Sienna who subtly motioned for her to go along, “Remember you told me how he laid into you later in private?”

Francesca’s eyes widened with false recognition, “Yeah, yeah, he admitted he was wrong but also totally disapproved of how I handled the situation. You and June just weren’t there to witness that part. He said he didn’t want to stoop to my level.”

Baz mulled it over, “Huh. That does sound like him.”

Sienna took her last bite of ice cream nodding, “Exactly, it totally does.”

Undeterred, Baz continued, his curiosity and obliviousness blinding him to the growing anxiety at the table. “Well, how did you get him to play softball? That was also pretty out of character.”

Francesca was thankful for an easy out, “Oh my God, that was crazy simple. I just offered him the chance to humiliate Tobias!”

Baz laughed, “Yeah, that would have been a quick sell. Hmmm, I guess it also explains his part in our Mass Kenmore excursion? Making Tobias look bad?”

Francesca quickly assented, “Yes! That’s an angle I intend to play for as long as I can. So far it’s worked out for us really well.”

Sienna clasped her hands together, “See Baz?! There’s nothing out of the ordinary. It looks to me like June is causing unnecessary drama.”

Baz chewed on his lip, “Yeah, she can be … interesting.”

Francesca sighed, “That’s the understatement of the year.”

Leaning back Baz looked at both women and grinned. “Well, I’m glad I got that all cleared up. Zaid told me I was crazy when I mentioned it to him. But Zaid is constantly telling me I’m crazy, so I never exactly know when he’s being serious or not.”

Sienna frowned, “We just tend to assume he’s always being serious.”

“You asked Zaid? Did you ask anyone else?”

Baz shook his head “Nope! You offered me ice cream later that day so I figured I’d just bring it up with you, well, now!” He shrugged, “I’m normally not one to look into things like this but we’re a small team, and things are already tenuous and, well, I just needed to know that we’re all on equal footing.” 

He stood up, “Okay, I’m going to go hit the little boys room, I’ll meet you out front.”

Sienna turned to Francesca wide-eyed as he walked away, “Holy cow, that was a close one!”

Francesca grabbed her purse and headed to the counter to pay, “I really need to figure out June’s game. What the hell? Who else is she talking to?”

Sienna nodded, “You should mention it to Ethan and get his take. You know, when you guys aren’t busy sucking face.” She giggled when Francesca rolled her eyes as they walked towards the door. 

“Argh! It seems like there’s always some looming dark cloud threatening everything, and I just hate it all so much. Walking in here I felt lighter than I had in weeks but now, I feel the weight on my shoulders all over again. In so many ways things are improving, but at the same time, I feel like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

“Like you’re at a crossroads where things can go either really great or really bad, and you’re still waiting for directions on which way to turn.”

Francesca looked up surprised, “You feel it too?”

Sienna nodded, “I do. Between the fate of the hospital and Kyra, and everything else, it’s hard not too.”

They were met with Baz’s smiling face as he walked out of the shop, “Much better!” His expression slipped as he saw their faces, “What’s wrong?”

Francesca shook her head, shielding her eyes from the sun as she looked at him. “Baz, I have a question for you.”

“Shoot!”

“How do you stay so above it all? So nonchalant and, well, happy, when everything around us is on the verge of collapse?”

Baz took a thoughtful breath, “Part of it is that the ‘doom and gloom’ gene went to my brother. The other part of it is that I’ve watched him worry about worst case possibilities his entire life, and none of his fretting ever contributed to the outcome one way or another. So I figured, who needs it? I’ll stress when there is something concrete to stress about.”

“But Edenbrook, it could close! We could all be out of jobs soon and the patients will have nowhere to go.”

Baz tilted his head, “Yes, but it’s open now and we can help people now. And just like it could close, it could also stay open. Right?”

Sienna slowly nodded, “I mean, it is a valid point.”

Baz sighed, “I make more of those than I get credit for, so here’s another one. Say the worst thing does happen, you know why you’ll still be okay?”

Francesca shrugged, “Because we’re all excellent doctors who are bound to land on our feet?”

Baz chuckled, “Probably, but not what I meant. You have an amazing support system. Your group of friends, you guys are the envy of the hospital staff. You’ll will get through whatever it is together. That, coupled with your stellar resumes, means you’ll be able to find ways to help whoever needs your help, wherever they may end up.”

Francesca absorbed his words as Sienna responded, “Thank you Baz. We do have an incredible group, and you know what?”

“What?”

She smiled as she looped her arm into his and the three of them headed back towards the hospital, “I think we may have just found our newest member.”

Chapter 10:  Sienna confronts Francesca on Ethan’s “Not Single” status. 

***

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING. YOUR LIKES AND COMMENTS MEAN THE WORLD!

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[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #326

“life by life  /  waste to waste  /  i'm the harbinger: the master of decay”

When you get married what do you think you’ll put most of your focus and money into? Do you mean like, for the wedding? Probably the venue. Or possibly the photographer. Have you ever had a teacher that also taught your parents? No. What’s something you complain about frequently? My legs. Are you afraid of falling in love? Very. Are you close to any of your aunts/uncles? Not very. Do you hate it when people smoke around you? Very much so. Do you own anything that is special edition? Yeah, things like DVDs. Do you have any funky bookmarks? I have this one meerkat bookmark where the image moves when you tilt it. Did you ever watch Pokemon? Hell yeah I did. Are there more females or males in your family? Females. Does anyone in your family snore loudly? My mom does due to having gerd. Dad did too when I actually lived with him. I wouldn't know nowadays. Do you own a camera tripod? Yes. Did you ever believe in mermaids? No. Have you ever purchased alcohol? Yes. Any essential quirks/interests/other you look for in a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner? Similar interests, like being a metal fan and gamer especially, as well as a serious animal lover for sure. Any romantic gestures you really like? Okay if someone did that little bow thing while reaching out for my hand to dance, I'd melt, lol. I also appreciate love interests holding open doors, SHOWING INTEREST IN HOW I FCKN FEEL, asking permission before doing anything in sexual exploration, stuff like that. Any sexual fantasies? Are you daring enough to share one? Yep, not sharing those lmfao. Have you ever been in love? Twice. What is your favorite/least favorite word? My favorite is "serendipity/serendipitous," and my least favorite is "retarded." Have you ever been skinny dipping? No. If I actually had a body I was confident in, I probably would in privacy tho at night lmao. Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character? Oh yeah. What is your favorite thing to do? Probably RPing with my favorite OCs when I'm in a really creative mood and during a great scene. Did you go to your senior prom? Yeah, I did. Prom's honestly pretty damn overrated, but I did it and his senior prom anyway. It's the picking out a beautiful dress and taking pictures that I loved. What did you do after graduation? I don't remember. We probably went out to eat or something. Favorite home cooked meal growing up? Spaghetti. What item most embarrasses you to purchase? Nothing, really. Do you give cards to people for holidays or events? No. Name the coolest thing about one of your grandparents. Uhhhhh idk. Name two things you put whipped cream on? I hate the texture of whipped cream. Do you ever eat peanut butter straight from the jar? Sometimes if I want a snack but am trying to be healthy-ish, I'll eat just a scoop. What was the last pill you took for? Pain. Do you prefer your clothes loose or close fitting? Loose, 100%. Favorite thing you’ve ever painted? Meerkats grooming. I did it in high school on a large piece of burlap. Are there any songs that remind you of your mother? "Take It Like a Woman" by Alice Cooper, for one. How did your elementary school teachers describe you? Very smart, sweet, friendly, and nice. Game you were best at in PE/gym? Pf, none. Obsession from childhood? Dinosaurs and Pokemon. Best way for someone to bond with you? Let's talk about deep stuff regarding the world or about how awesome animals are. Top 5 favorite Vines? Oh boy. There are just way too many. I'll try to name a few: 1.) the "I can't find my berries" saga guy; 2.) *in drive-thru, asked what he would like to order* "I wanna FUCKIN DIE"; 2.) "i cOUldA DROPpeD my CroISSAnt"; 3.) "it's Wednesday, m'dudes"; 4.) "a d a m"; 5.) "I WON'T HESITATE, BITCH." God, I miss Vine. What is the first meme you remember seeing? Holy cow, I have no idea. Sci-fi, fantasy, or superheroes? Fantasy. Favorite tradition? Dressing up for Halloween, even though I don't do it anymore... Talent you’re proud of having? Writing. Favorite website from your childhood? Webkinz was unbeatable. I was obsessed. Any good luck charms? I don't believe in those. Favorite potato food? French fries. Tell me the color of your eyes, without using the name of a color: Uhhhh a cloudy sky right before rain? Ever been through a goth phase? Goth is my fucking AESTHETIC. I wish I could afford a truly gothic wardrobe, because you bet your sweet ass it's all I'd wear out. Can you remember your first phone? If so, what kind was it? I think so? It was a Blueberry, I believe. Who is your favourite character from Alice in Wonderland? Obviously the Cheshire cat. What is your favorite type of YouTube video to watch? Lately, it's been tarantula and snake channels/pet YouTubers. I still think my overall favorites are let's plays, but right now it's just stepping back a bit. What’s the next project you are excited to start? I have this pretty cool drawing I wanna do of a morbid meerkat doing a big toothy smile, doing a peace sign (but his fingers are syringes) with a crown blinking over his head. Inspired by the "Professional Griefers" lyric of "lab rat king." I just really wanna make it perfect and am procrastinating in fear of failing... Have you ever experienced a miracle? I don't think I believe in miracles. What are your top three names you like for a daughter? Alessandra, Justine, and Chloe, to name a few. Which did you like better: high school or college? High school, at least in most ways. What is the theme of your bedroom? It doesn't have a theme. My interests just kinda threw up everywhere, haha. Have you ever lived in a dorm? No. Were you raised religious? Yes. Do you do your own taxes, or do you hire a professional? I don't have to do taxes yet. What was the very first thing you ever saved up to buy with your own money? Venus was the first big thing, I think. Describe your favorite Christmas ornament: I don't know what that would be, honestly. We have so very many. What jobs did your parents have when you were growing up? Dad's always been a mailman, and he also had a second job as a carpenter for a while. Mom worked with special needs children at my elementary school as a teacher assistant. She also worked at the hospital at one point, doing some computer work. I don't remember her actual position. Are you taller than your mom? We're the same height. Would you marry someone if they were unable to have sex? Sure, that's not a big deal to me. Last reason you went to the ER? For myself, a suicide attempt/overdose. What was the last word document you typed? This survey, actually, so I could save progress as I combine them. What’s something you don’t think people take seriously enough? Global warming. Have you ever dated someone who had a child from a previous relationship? No. Is there any drama currently going on with your family? No. What was the last fruit or vegetable you chopped/sliced up? An apple. I wanted apple slices with peanut butter. What is your favorite Hostess/Little Debbie snack? Holy SHIT that is impossible. Maybe the devil cakes, but I really don't know. I love most of them. Do you/your family buy loaf from the bakery or bagged on the shelf? Bagged. White, wheat or other? Mom buys white bread, but my favorite is pumpernickel. What was the last non-fiction book you’ve read? (Not a school textbook!): I ain't got a clue. I don't really read non-fiction. What color are your headphones/earbuds? These are blue. Would you be embarrassed to find out you snored loudly in public? Yep. Thankfully, I don't snore. Do you feel guilty about killing bugs? Yep. How do you feel about coconut? Not a fan. ^ Ever cracked one open? Ha, I've always wanted to. Who did you last worry about and why? My mom. She's getting a CT scan ASAP due to chronic headaches and stomach pain, so I'm worried her cancer might be re-emerging. When was the last time you ate/drank something gross just to be polite? I don't know; I struggle to do this. If I don't like something, my face shows it. I can't help it. When did you last make up a baby’s bottle? Never. Do you have any framed black & white photos in your home? Who are they of? No. What’s the most expensive thing your car needed to get done? N/A If you had a thousand dollars to spend on a pricey brand you like but can’t really afford (until now of course), which ONE brand would you chose? I don't know. Real talk, I find most luxury brands to sell pretty ugly stuff... Do you like candy canes? Yeah. Do you still talk to any of your old teachers? Yes; one is my landlord. What color was the dress you wore to your senior prom? It was black. Ever go to another school’s prom? No. Do you like burning candles or incense? I love incense. Do you ever venture into the woods? What do you normally do in there? When I used to live in the woods, I did every now and then to take pictures. Does your significant other ever make you mix CDs? Single, but that would be so romantic. /swoons How did you dress your freshman year of high school? I was this emo/metalhead/goth creature. What is the best present you have ever received? My dog Teddy. <3 What is the best present you have ever given? I put the most effort into a scrapbook thing of well over a hundred reasons I loved my then-boyfriend Jason. Even though we're done, I honestly hope he still has it, just to remember. What is the best surprise you have ever had? Sara's parents paying for a flight up there to be with Sara for her birthday. Have you ever been robbed? No, thankfully. Ever kiss someone on the first date? No. Ever sleep with someone on the first date? Definitely a nope. Ever give someone a wrong phone number on purpose? No. What’s the strangest thing you have ever witnessed firsthand? I have no idea. It's... very morbid, but possibly dogs twitching after being euthanized. Seeing Teddy do it was such a strange, painful experience. Like there was still life in there... even though I know it was just his nerves doing their final hoorah and he was already dead. Ever seen a psychiatric ward? I've been in a mental hospital five or six times, so I'm uncomfortably familiar with them. What is the last thing you did that you didn’t want to do? Group therapy. I'm really burning out on it. Thankfully, I don't have it on the weekends. What is the last thing you convinced someone else to do? I dunno. If you could live in a different time, would you? When? Nah. Do you prefer to sleep alone or with someone else? Sleeping alone is more comfortably physically, but I usually prefer sleeping with a partner because there's this amazing feeling of safety, love, and companionship. How many pillows do you sleep with? Two. Do you prefer cold air and blankets, or warm air and no blankets? Cold air and blankets by ten miles. I can't sleep if I'm even remotely hot. How often do you dust? Sigh, not as much as I need to. What is the most "extreme" activity you have ever done? I haven't done very much that fits that description... so idk. Dr. Pepper or root beer? Dr. Pepper. I hate root beer. Last room you cleaned? Mine. Last thing you did that made you feel like an adult? Checked into the doctor's office by myself, haha... Talk about sad. What’s your favorite picture of your mom? Dad? It's not my business to actually share those pictures, but I can describe them. I fucking ADORE this candid photograph I took of my mom laughing; I will forever cherish it. It's morbid to think about, but it's absolutely a picture I'll frame of her once she's passed away. I don't have many pictures of Dad, but I do really like this picture we took together at Red Lobster once. Are you subscribed to anything (Magazines, monthly boxes, streaming sites, etc.)? Mom pays an Adobe Creative Cloud photography bundle subscription for me, but that's it. Last TV show series you finished? Fullmetal Alchemist with Sara. It was a rewatch for me, but she'd never seen it. What’s something exciting that’s happened to one of your friends recently? A childhood friend got engaged a few days back. Do you have any board games? If so, where do you keep them? We have a few somewhere. What were the last things you glued together? I don’t recall. What are your friends’ pets’ names? I'll just use Sara here since she's my best friend. She has two family dogs, Buster and Beesly, a cat named Winter, four ball pythons named Martha, Crowley, Little Dot, and Jane Marie, and Doris, a bearded dragon that I personally adore most. :') What all did you do today? I played World of Warcraft early this morning, but not for very long. I've been in a phase of being very uninterested in it lately. I've mostly just done surveys... lots of surveys. I'm just in the mood to. I've also been listening to music and watching John Wolfe play Amnesia: Rebirth periodically. If you live in a house, how many floors does it have? If you live in an apartment building, how many units does it have? It's just one floor. Would you like to live in a world with mythical creatures, even if they turned out to be evil or dangerous? Honestly... I probably would, haha. Are you scared of heights? Yes. When was the last time you lost something of great sentimental value? Did you ever end up finding it again? Never, I think and hope. What food do you find to be the most filling? Is this something you eat a lot of? Eggs or oatmeal. Not really. What do you think of people who purposefully train their dogs to fight or to be aggressive? They're fucking garbage human beings. If you suffer/have suffered with acne, do you squeeze your spots or do your best to just leave them be? Ugh, I was so bad (and still am if something pops up) about picking at it. Does your father have any hobbies? What are they? Sure. He loves sports, fishing, idk if he still plays video games, fantasy football... and I can't forget playing with his grandkids. It's hard for me to know all of them when I don't live with him and see him rarely. What did the last face mask you wore look like? It was just a white cotton one. Is there a specific song that you always request at parties? What is it? I don't go to parties. Would you rather read poetry or write poetry? Write it. Have you ever had any really infected injuries? I've had infected piercings as well as a badly infected pilonidal cyst. Is there any band out there that you like every song by them? No. Are you popular on any websites? No. What was the last song you listened to? Aaaaand now I'm hooked on "NIHIL" by 3TEETH. Are you currently texting anyone right now? No. When was the last time you played jump rope? Yikes, probably not since I was a kid. I used to love it. Who was the last person you offended? I dunno. What’s the earliest you’ve ever had to wake up for work? Not early. Do you know anyone who has changed their first name? I know trans people who have, yes. Do you know anyone who has been on life support and survived? No. At least, I don't believe so. Do your parents have a strong relationship together? They're divorced, and Mom at least can't stand him. Dad doesn't really care. Do you ever feel like you’re sharing too much about yourself online? Oh, I absolutely used to. I still might, idk. I've tried to reel it back some. How many windows are in the room you’re in? Eight, but they're just small, vertical rectangles stacked together, so it's not as revealing as it sounds. What was the last necklace you wore? My spiked choker, I think, for pictures. Or maybe the one I have with a bunch of big silver skulls. Do you think there are more dimensions than what we’re able to perceive? I don't think so, no. Does anyone in your family have schizophrenia? My half-sister on Dad's side that I've never met. Have you ever been in an abandoned house? A shack, yeah. Do you like art? I positively adore it. I could NOT imagine life without it. How about theatre? I don't care for it. Have you ever made breakfast for someone? Yes, for Sara. Do you talk to your crush? If you have one. Yeah, she's my best fren. If yes, what do you usually talk about? Nowadays I ask her almost daily how she's doing in regards to her progress of recovering from both serious physical and mental stressors. I try to always be an available ear if she ever wants to vent. Would you rather read or watch a video about something? Watch a video. In what ways have you fulfilled some of the hopes and dreams you had as a teenager? I've fulfilled none of those. What’s one stressful thing you’ve been trying to deal with lately? How have you been dealing with it? Inexplicable, chronic boredom/serious anhedonia. I've just... put up with it. I get pleasure out of essentially nothing most days, and it sucks big time. I just try to distract myself and force myself to do things I usually love, though I've been bad about actually succeeding in making me do said stuff... Is there a regional chain of store/restaurant/etc. in your area that you feel very loyal to? MOTHERFUCKIN BOJANGLE'S, BITCH. You think YOU have good fries somewhere? Oh hunny, sit down. Oftentimes, people warn us against getting tattoos or body modifications or dying our hair unnatural colors because we could be judged poorly for them. But has a more “alternative” look ever worked out in your favor? Well, I like myself better with my piercings and tattoos, and that's all that really matters to me. Do you have any daily routine/habit of that you’re really proud of keeping up? No. .-. Pick one of the following activities to do in a forest (assume you would be equally good at each one of these): Foraging for mushrooms, identifying trees, searching for specific types of bugs, trying to build something out of fallen branches and logs. Searching for bugs w/ my camera!!! But that all sounds fun. What’s the hardest class you’ve ever taken? My most recent math course that I failed horribly.

[rhetorical-ink]

Rhetorical Ink Reviews - “Demon Slayer: Kimetsu No Yaiba” Season 1 - Episodes 21 to 26

** STEAMING SPOILERS BELOW ** 

Okay, so my brother and I finished Season One of Demon Slayer last night and holy cow...okay, so I get the hype now. I do. I can see why people love this show and it’s quickly become one of my favorite new anime series to come out recently. Let’s finish up this review of Season One with: 

My Top Ten Thoughts on Demon Slayer: KNY, Episodes 21 - 26: 

10. Rui’s backstory is truly a tragic one, especially when he talks about hindsight and not realizing his parents’ true intentions and the actual bond they had. Which makes it all the more beautiful to see him reunite with them, and the revelation that no matter where they go, heaven or hell, they’re going to stay with their child. They did care for him, which was all he ever wanted. It’s a very touching scene to end Rui’s backstory.

9. Tanjiro continues to be “Best Boi” and a literal saint when it comes to trying to help demons transition after death into a peaceful afterlife. It’s an amazing contrast to how he handles Shinazugawa later on, where he literally asks to headbutt him two more times to make up for how many times the jerk stabs his sister. 

Which, let’s talk about Shinazugawa, because I’ve not been that anxiety-ridden watching an anime in a while. Spiders? Gross. Muzan randomly killing and turning people into demons? Neat. This white haired cheese grater showing up and stabbing our precious Nezuko, trying to taunt her into attacking him? Thank goodness Tanjiro gave him the vibe check he deserved. 

8. I also want to point out the cool “blurring” that’s being established between human and demon. Tanjiro’s plea to Giyu, saying, “Just like me, they were human, too” is probably one of the most powerful and telling lines of the show. Tanjiro knows what he’s done to seek retribution and a cure for his sister’s condition, and he knows what it’s cost him. 

Not only that, but we see how the Hashira, the very top of the Demon Corps can act as cold and harshly as demons. Even appearances start to blur, as we’ve had demons like Tamayo and Yushiro who look and act like humans, and we’ve had characters like Shinazugawa and the “Master” of the Demon Corps who act, and look, like demons be on the side of humanity. It’s interesting to say the least, and I feel it’s only going to get expanded upon moving forward. 

7. Shinobu was a character that definitely intrigued me in the last few episodes, and I was skeptical of her character. But this last mini arc really made me appreciate her. Oh, she’s devious, to be sure. But she has a very clear sense about her in terms of what she deems morale and what she finds problematic like Shinazugawa’s attitude, which good. I appreciate that she actually does a lot to literally save Tanjiro in these last few episodes and help him move forward. 

It’s also interesting to discover that she is emulating her deceased older sister, when we see it’s all a persona, specifically in the flashback moments of her being younger. Plus, girl is manipulative as all get out, tricking Inosuke and Zenitsu into training like that. 

Oh, and does she secretly like Giyu? Is that a ship that will happen down the road?

6. The Hashira give me such Bleach Captain vibes, it’s probably the coats and the swords, but I appreciate that they’re actually not quite the same set up and structure. I really like all of their distinct personalities, but Muchiro might be my favorite so far...there’s just...something about his aloof personality that reminds me of Zenitsu, and it probably means he’s secretly a badass and I’m all ready for it. Close second would be the Love Hashira, because she just looks fun and I’m intrigued to know what her abilities are. 

It is surprising that there are so few of them left, and I’m curious if the “Master” position is something you’re born into? They all revere him...but...why? 

5. Also, speaking of questions, HOW does the Master know Tamayo? He reveals that to Tanjiro for a reason...but what? Clearly, the Hashira do not know about Tamayo, because based on how freaked out they were by Nezuko, there’s no telling how they’d react to a several hundred year old demon that apparently is working potentially alongside demon slayers...curiouser and curiouser...

4. While I love that Inosuke has calmed down a little bit, and maybe been humbled by this last battle...Zenitsu...my dude...can we all just admit it:

Zenitsu’s VA is having the time of his life.

SERIOUSLY, Episode 23 had me in tears, laughing, because of how just ridiculous his chattering was. I don’t know how the Voice Actor for Zenitsu did it, but some of those noises and ramblings in that episode were NOT human and were beyond hilarious. I’m so glad our boys are going with Tanjiro and have at least caught up in the total concentration breathing. 

3. I wasn’t sure if there’d be any shipping in this show for real, but we definitely got a taste of it with the proper introduction of Kanao. 

Her backstory is so tragic and cruel, but it kind of fits that she’s an emotional foil to Tanjiro. She’s been through so much trauma as a child, she’s conditioned herself to not feel anything, to the point where she doesn’t truly think for herself or with her heart. 

And yet, Tanjiro is so polar opposite, where he’s grown up with a loving family and home life, and is so emotionally connected with those around him...I’m just saying, they make an odd, but very fitting pair together. And you all saw those sparkles when he told her the “trick” for getting her to listen to hear heart with the coin? 

I really hope she gets involved in the story later and meets back up with Tanjiro; she can definitely hold her own so there’s no worries, there! 

2. Okay, by and LARGE, the best part of these last few episodes was the encounter in Muzan’s “Lair.” From Muzan being straight up drop dead gorgeous as a geisha (Muzan really said trans rights, didn’t he?), to being absolutely INTIMIDATING and again, proving he’s a threat as a villain (he’s basically the Alucard of this series at this point), that whole opening in the final episode was jaw-dropping. The animation, the eerie atmosphere, everything...gorgeous and effective.

My only concern was with him essentially “dismantling” the lower six moons, five if you don’t count Rui, it seemed like the author was essentially cutting a large part of storytelling out of the picture. Going into this series and hearing of the Twelve Moons, I thought, “Okay, we have twelve bosses to get through...” but now, no. We really only have Muzan, his SIX main Moons, and then of course, the one lower Moon that lived and got to “Get him some Sip” before vanishing to reappear at the episode’s closing. I’m fine with it; it was a very cool, unexpected plot development and will definitely make the story more concise, but it also felt like the author “trimming away” at some of the potential story. I won’t complain, though, if it means we get a tighter, more dynamic narrative; rather than a bloated, too-stretched one. 

1. And finally, we have the magical train! I love that of COURSE Inosuke thinks it’s a giant beast, and while at first you think Tanjiro is using some psychological trick to convince Inosuke it’s a “guardian deity,” it’s also apparent that poor Tanjiro doesn’t entirely get the technology, either.

As Zenitsu points out, “Country bumpkins,” indeed.

It’s also a nice way to close the season; having them off on a mission onto a train that’s been hassled by a demon, with a Hashira that Tanjiro conveniently needs to talk to aboard, and one of Muzan’s newly amped-up lieutenants aboard too...after Tanjiro, of course. It’s a fated meeting that is being set up to be the plot of the movie coming out this fall, and I. CANNOT. WAIT. 

If you all haven’t watched this series, DO IT. It’s one of the best new anime to come out in a long while and I am eagerly anticipating the movie this fall and Season Two. 

Review of Episodes 1 - 5

Review of Episodes 6 - 8 

Review of Episodes 9 - 14

Review of Episodes 15 - 20

[someguynamedstevewrites]

Unwanted House Guest: Valentine’s Run - Part 4

Should probably mention that this is based on characters created by  @tamarinfrog , @searching-for-bananaflies , @cafe-cardamari , @bottledupcomic , etc.

And based on the video games Splatoon, Splatoon 2, and Splatoon 2: Octo Expansion by Nintendo.

Arnick let go of the Octoling Girl’s hands, walked over to the bear statue shaped radio, picked it up, and began shaking it like a deadbeat that owed him money. “ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND!?” he shouted.

“What’s the problem?” asked Mr. Grizz.

“The problem, SIR…” Arnick said with disdain, “is that if I understand correctly, you expect me to teach three rookies, who barely speak any Inklish, and turn them into Salmon Running savants, using sink or swim tactics, in nothing more than a few hours! Yet that can’t possibly be right because you’d have to be COMPLETELY MAD TO THINK THAT’S POSSIBLE!!!”

“Oh it’s not that bad-“ the bear statue said before Arnick cut him off.

“YOU! WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE COLOR!?” Arnick barked while he pointed an accusatory finger at the young Octoling boy.

<Uhh…> the poor boy stuttered, <…what did he say?>

<I think he asked you what your favorite color is, but…> the oldest Octoling said before trailing off.

“OH MY COD!” Arnick wailed while once again screaming at the statue and shaking it like a Polar-Roid Picture, “SOME OF THEM DON’T EVEN SPEAK INKLISH AT ALL!! HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY EXPECT US TO COMMUNICATE IF WE ARE LITERALLY SPEAKING TWO DIFFERENT LANGUAGES!!!”

“Oh I’m sure you can figure something out,” the voice from the statue said, “I mean you’ve worked with Octolings before, right?”

“BECAUSE THEY SPOKE INKLISH YOU IRKSOME URSINE!!”

Arnick bellowed while once again shaking the statue like a Magic 8-Ball that said his chances of winning the lottery looked dim.

The youngest Octoling girl looked up to her big sister and asked, <Is… Is he okay?>

<I’m… not sure,> she said with hesitation, <he’s using Inklish words I’ve never heard before.>

“Whoa! Whoa! Easy there, kid! You don’t wanna break the radio and have it deducted from your pay now, do yah?” Reasoned the statue. Arnick stopped bear-handling the statue, but still wanted to give it a few more shakes for good measure. “That’s better. Now look,” Mr. Grizz explained, “I understand this isn’t the ideal situation or anything, I get that. Really, I do! But you’re a smart guy, and one tough employee to boot! If anyone can make this work, it’d be you!”

Flattery was not going to get Mr. Grizz anywhere with Arnick at this point.

“So just chin up. Be professional. And do your best! You got this, kid,” the statue encouraged, “now why don’t you go over there and meet your co-workers. Make a good first impression on them. Okay? Okay. Grizz, out!”

The radio shut off and there was an awkward silence that filled the air. Arnick set the wooden bear statue/radio down on the small table it was originally sitting on. He looked unnaturally calm and serene.

While showing no emotion on his face, Arnick reached into his pockets as though he was looking for something. Seconds later, he began looking around the boat after not finding what he wanted in his pockets. His eyes settled on a fold-able wooden chair that was sitting peacefully on the main deck. Arnick nodded to himself as if saying, “Ahh, yes. This should do it.”

Before describing what happens next, it is worth mentioning that Arnick does have some experience with the Octarian language. After living with Tetrox for a few years now, he naturally picked up on some words here and there that she would mutter under her breath, or slip out in normal conversation (which was rare because she spoke spectacular Inklish). Arnick had also done a little self study on how to speak Octarian off and on again over the years.

Now that Arnick was going to be working with three Octolings in a team, his knowledge of the Octarian language began to surface to the forefront of his mind.

…unfortunately, all of it was language that should never be spoken out loud in public.

<COD!

DAMN!!

FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUU~>

———————————-

<HOLY SEA COW!> Aadi said with a mix of awe and surprise.

*SMAAAAASSSSHHH*

Nalini’s tentacles were pointing straight up well before the foul-mouthed Inkling slammed the wooden chair against the deck railing. She dove to cover Lajni’s ears as if hearing the steady stream of Octarian obscenities and euphemisms would melt them off her head. Nalini hadn’t heard such a cascade of curses and swears that flowed like a river since her days in Octarian boot camp.

The Inkling was now jumping up and down on the wooden fragments of the former chair, kicking a piece every now and then like he was punting a Clam Blitz Ball. Nalini tried to focus on what he was saying over the sound of the crunching wood and could make out, <-AUDACITY OF THAT POMPOUS FISH MONGER WHO NEEDS TO HAVE A HARPOON SHOVED RIGHT UP HIS-> before tuning it out again. She looked over to her brother who seemed rather impressed with the Inkling for what Nalini feared was for all the wrong reasons.

The Inkling then picked up a chair leg that somehow was not yet smashed and then began hitting it against the railing. One thing was very clear to Nalini:

…this guy had some anger issues.

About two minutes later, the Inkling had finally stopped raging and was now trying desperately to catch his breath. Being that angry took a lot of energy, and it showed! Finally getting a breath in, the inking turned around and began to walk towards the three siblings.

Lajni and Aadi quickly dived behind Nalini’s back when the inkling approached them. He coughed, cleared his throat, and then tried to explain in broken Octarian, <Sorry… I was… upset…>

Nalini wasn’t entirely sure if she should answer him in Octarian or Inklish at first, but before she could decide, Aadi’s instinctively blurted out, <Upset? I’d hate to see him when he’s->

<AADI!> Nalini scolded him with a shushing gesture. She turned and addressed the Inkling. <Is everything okay?>

<Yes…> the lanky Inkling said. It looked like he wanted to say more but wasn’t sure how to say it properly. Nalini was surprised he was having this much trouble communicating after rambling off nearly every single Octarian expletive, curse, and swear word just seconds ago. <Hard… explain…> he continued before Nalini cut him off in Inklish.

“It be easier if I speak the Inklish?” Asked Nalini.

“Yes, thank you,” said the Inkling, “and my apologies for earlier. Just to be clear, I was not angry at any of you. I was angry at Mr. Grizz since I think it is highly unfair to all of us to be put in this difficult situation.”

Nalini blinked as she processed what the Inkling had just said. He was speaking very formally, but also using words she wasn’t familiar with here and there. She smiled back, looking to make a good impression (and relieved to know his anger wasn’t because of who they were or anything), “It is understandable, Mr. Sixwayfrumsunday”

“My name is Arnick,” said the Inkling.

“Eh?” Nalini squeaked while suddenly feeling very embarrassed, “Ah… I… I am sorry about-”

“No, no. It’s my fault, really,” Arnick interjected, “I shouldn’t have let my usual snark and sarcasm get the better of me,” said Arnick, “Given our respective language barriers and cultural differences, I can see how you could misunderstand what I was saying. I’m sure my diatribe of foul Octarian language didn’t help either.”

Nalini understood roughly half of what Arnick said. She was now beginning to have serious doubts about taking Lajni and Aadi with her today. She hadn’t considered the possibility that they would be paired with an Inkling since she had been on all Octoling teams on her last four runs. She thought that was the way things normally went, but apparently, on those first four runs, she just happened to get lucky. She began to wonder if there was a way out of this, and said, “Maybe… Running Salmon… Not such good idea today, Mr. Arnick.”

“Stilton,” Arnick corrected.

Nalini was once again surprised, “Eh?”

<My name is Arnick Stilton,> Arnick said in Octarian to make sure that he was clear, “You can address me as Arnick, if you wish.”

Nalini was feeling extremely embarrassed. She thought she was pretty good at Inklish, but after speaking with Arnick for just a few minutes, she felt woefully inadequate for handling this situation. She looked down at the ground and could feel a small tear form in her eye.

<HEY!> Aadi shouted at Arnick, <WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO MY SISTER!? YOU MADE HER CRY!>

<AADI! STOP!> Nalini ordered.

<But Nalini…> Aadi said with a figurative tail between his legs.

<He didn’t say anything mean! It’s just…> Nalini paused as he she admitted what she didn’t want to admit, <…I’m having more trouble understanding him than I thought I would.>

Lajni chimed in, <Even after all those classes?>

Nalini nodded, <I’m just… so embarrassed right now. That’s all. So don’t be mean to Arnick, okay? He wasn’t being mean.>

After the tantrum Arnick threw, Lajni was skeptical. <Really?> She asked innocently.

<Yes, really,> Nalini confirmed before turning to Arnick, “I am sorry. My brother… he get too… excited sometimes. Please be forgiving him.” Nalini then wrapped an arm around Aadi’s shoulder and said, “This… is my younger brother. His name is Aadi.”

Arnick extended a hand for a handshake, “Good to meet you, Aadi.”

Glancing at the boy with the Afro, Arnick could see the look in Aadi’s eyes. He was glaring at Arnick as though he wasn’t too sure about him. Given Arnick’s recent behavior and attitude, Arnick couldn’t really blame him for being suspicious.  Not to mention how he’d react if he knew about Arnick’s past of being very anti-Octarian.

“I am sorry. He no speak Inklish,” Nalini explained.

The weight of the situation began to sink in for Arnick. Given that Aadi couldn’t understand a single word Arnick said, there was no way to give him any reassurance that he was a decent fellow. Arnick then turned to the youngest of the three Octolings who looked like she had just turned fourteen and finally got her humanoid form. She seemed scared, but curious, and didn’t show any signs of distrust like Aadi did.

“This is my younger sister. Her name is Lajni,” Nalini introduced.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Lajni,” Arnick said while extending a hand.

This time, Arnick put on the most cheerful smile he could muster to try and put the young girl at ease. After some hesitation, Lajni stepped from behind her sister and shook Arnick’s hand. Arnick’s smile became even more genuine as he began to feel like he was making progress.

With introductions out of the way, now was the time to get down to business. With two teammates that couldn’t understand any Inklish, he needed to work out something and fast before their shift started. Arnick immediately marched over to the table and was about to take a seat before realizing his seat was the one he had pulverized into sawdust a few minutes earlier. Grabbing the other chairs and putting them around the table, he called out, “Nalini, could you bring Aadi and Lajni over here? We’re going to need to work something out and fast, or we’re all going to be fish food!”

To Be Continued...

[globabuzz]

10 Ways to Balance Your Hormones Naturally - Don't Mess with Mama

Do you feel like your hormones are out of control? You’re not alone. Most women have experienced a hormonal imbalance. Here are the signs and symptoms of a hormonal imbalance…

21 Signs of a Hormonal Imbalance Have you experienced any of these symptoms?

Foggy thinking Increased forgetfulness Insomnia Water retention Weight gain around the waist Abdominal fat Decreased muscle mass, and strength Decreased urine flow Prostate problems Increased urinary urge Fatigue Difficulty sleeping Anxiety Decreased stamina Dizzy spells Lightheadedness Frequent colds/flu Headaches Irritability Morning fatigue Sugar cravings You could have a hormonal imbalance. The first thing you need to do is do an at-home hormone test or take the hormone quiz I recommend below to see what’s out of balance.

What Causes Hormone Imbalance? Virtually everyone experiences imbalanced hormone levels at some point in their lives, especially women. These imbalances are often a result of natural changes that occur with age, such as puberty and menopause. When you were growing up, hormones triggered bone and muscle growth. They also set in motion the reproductive changes that led to menstruation and fertility in young women, and sexual maturity in young men. This surge of hormones is behind the acne, mood swings, and other “teen” issues that affect most adolescents.

On the other end of the spectrum, hormone production slows as you leave your reproductive years behind. A decline in hormone production is what leads to perimenopause and menopause symptoms in women, and low libido and erectile dysfunction in men entering middle age.

Some hormonal imbalances, however, can have other underlying causes beyond the natural aging processes, including:

Chronic stress Elevated blood sugar Lack of Sleep Thyroid dysfunction (hypothyroidism or hyperthyroidism) Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) or birth control pills Type 1 or type 2 diabetes Being overweight Endocrine disruptors such as pesticides, herbicides, and plastics Steroids and other medications Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) Why Is Hormone Balance Important? Hormones are your body’s chemical messengers. They help control every physiological process in your body, including metabolism, immune system, menstrual cycle, and reproduction. A precise hormone balance is vital to proper body functioning.

How to Test Your Hormones One of my favorite resources for balancing hormones naturally is the book The Hormone Cure by Sara Gottfried. She has a quiz you can take in the book to figure out on your own what hormones are out of balance, and she gives natural remedies, exercises, supplements, and other tips to balance hormones. For instance, if you have higher cortisol levels, you’ll want to stay away from running and intense exercises like kickboxing. Yoga and mind-body exercises are better suited for you.

While The Hormone Cure is a great start, I also recommend getting a hormone lab test. It’s the most accurate way of finding out what’s going on with your hormones. It’s an at-home hormone lab test that tests saliva samples (which is one of the most accurate ways to test hormones). This test provides an assessment for estradiol/estrogen, progesterone, testosterone, DHEA, luteinizing hormone, follicle-stimulating hormone, and cortisol (am, noon, dinner, and before bed).

And the best part? You can schedule a one-on-one consultation with a functional medicine doctor with True Health Labs to go over your test results. There’s no need to schedule a doctor visit.  There’s no need to drive to your appointment. Just add the consultation to your cart when you order the at-home hormone lab test. The entire process took about 2-3 weeks from the time I received the kit, sent in my samples, waited for the results, and had my consultation.

You can then use the tips in this post and The Hormone Cure book to balance your hormones naturally.

Video Q&A with Dr. Brady Hurst I also interviewed Dr. Brady Hurst of True Health Labs on the basics of women’s hormones, how hormones affect other body systems, symptoms of hormone imbalances, how diet and lifestyle can affect hormones, natural ways to balance hormones, and how to get an at-home female hormones test.

10 Ways to Balance Hormones Naturally 1. Try seed cycling Did you know you can actually regulate your menstrual cycle and reduce PMS (and PMS-related symptoms like cramping) naturally? You can with seed cycling. This concept may seem new but naturopathic health practitioners have been using this method for a while to balance hormones. Cycling seeds (such as pumpkin, flax, sunflower, or sesame seeds) at certain times of the menstrual cycle can help your body to produce hormones or eliminate certain hormones to quell PMS symptoms. Find out more about how to balance hormones naturally with seed cycling.

2. Avoid GMO foods While it’s no surprise that dairy, meat, and pork may come from cows and pigs who have been treated with hormones, genetically-modified (GMO) foods can cause hormonal imbalance too. Long-term ingestion GMO foods that are sprayed with pesticides can cause hormonal issues that have been linked to depression, infertility, PCOS, and cancer. Eating a diet with little to no GMO foods and rich in local and organic produce can help to balance hormones.

3. Walk barefoot Crazy as it may sound – the key to lowering cortisol (a hormone associated with stress, inflammation, and sleep dysfunction) may be to walk barefoot – like on a grassy lawn, sandy beach, or even a concrete road. There are 1,300+ nerve endings per square inch on the soles of your feet – more than any other part of your body. Walking barefoot – or earthing – helps to ground you to the earth and in a way conduct the energy from the ground. Keep reading The Healing Power of Earthing.

4. Eat more liver Your mother was right. The liver really is good for you – and in a way, you wouldn’t expect. The liver is the most nutrient-dense food you can eat. It can help to curb PMS and mood swings, increase energy, and improve cardiovascular stamina. While the thought of eating liver each day may seem unfathomable, you can take liver pills (de.

5. Cut down on sugar and alcohol The two biggest endocrine disruptors are sugar and wine. Sugar can lead to inflammation and feeds yeast in the gut, which can lead to leaky gut syndrome and other digestive issues. Alcohol disrupts your body’s natural detox abilities, which helps to keep your hormones in check. Lay off both sugar and alcohol to feel better within just a week.

6. Take a detox bath Balance your hormones with a relaxing bath. But not just any bath. A detox bath with Epsom salts. Epsom salts provide magnesium to help to balance and support healthy hormones.

7. Drink water sole Unlike you’ve been told as a kid, drinking salt water is good for you. Unlike ocean water or saltwater made with table salt, water sole is made with natural salt such as Himalayan pink salt. It’s like a natural electrolyte drink. Drinking a lot of plain water can dilute the fluid in the body and may cause a stress response – such as an increase in stress hormones. Water sole hydrates without diluting the body. Natural salt also helps to reduce stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline – encouraging a better night’s sleep. Read more on how to make water sole and its benefits.

8. Avoid soy Soy and soy products have been touted as a health food for decades, but the reality is that soy is not healthy. If eaten unfermented, soy has anti-nutrients that actually block the absorption of calcium, magnesium, iron, and zinc. In addition, eating as little as two tablespoons of soybeans per day for a month can significantly increase thyroid-stimulating hormones. Soy consumption is linked to thyroid issues such as hypothyroidism, goiter, and autoimmune thyroid disease.

9. Ditch the low-fat diet Fat is really good for you, especially saturated fat. Your body depends on fat for necessary functions. It supports metabolic rate (metabolism), thyroid function, immune system, and digestion. The best options for saturated fats are butter (from organic or grass-fed cows), ghee, and rendered fats (such as lard and tallow).

Cold-pressed olive oil is another great fat source – just don’t heat it. Save it for salads or as a garnish on foods. While saturated fats from animal fat and are good for you, there are two facts you should avoid.

Vegetable oils (such as canola, cottonseed, soybean, and grapeseed) are polyunsaturated fats that actually cause inflammation and can cause a hormonal imbalance. These fats are usually derived from GMO sources, contain pesticides, and are heavily refined and processed. Trans fats are another fat to avoid – occurring in hydrogenated oils such as Crisco and food products with hydrogenated oils.

10. Consider supplements Sometimes eating a whole food diet isn’t enough to help balance hormones. Consider supplements such as magnesium, calcium, and fish oil/omega-3 – as well as herbs and whole foods such as Tulsi (holy basil), gelatin, Maca root. These delicious treats help to balance stressors in the body – including estrogen imbalance.

Sleep And Hormone Imbalance No matter how nutritious your diet is and how much exercise you get, your health will suffer if you don’t get enough restorative sleep.

Poor sleep has been linked to imbalances of many hormones, including insulin, cortisol, leptin, ghrelin, and growth hormone.

Inadequate or poor-quality sleep has been shown to decrease fullness hormones, increase hunger and stress hormones, reduce growth hormone, and increase insulin resistance.

Top Tips To Balance Hormones Naturally Take a bath with Epsom salts for a detox. Avoid GMO foods Tulsi is a great natural supplement to help with hormone imbalance. Make sure to get enough good quality sleep.

[avenger-hawk]

(1) hello sweetie, love ur blog!! and holy cow, never realised anime discourse ran so deep. If I like something and it doesn't hurt you, why do you have to come to my house and throw shit at my stuff lmaooo. Of course, if it's something I need to be corrected about (aka r*cism etc etc) then yeh I get it. But if I like Dark NS and only see Sasuke as submissive in a realtionship, why does that hurt you so much that you have to come and be all "But hey no, AcTuAllY.." Like dude, I DONT CARE

(2) I'm not the type of person who can't form opinions for myself and only ride onto the hate train/delusional ships train. And I'm also not the type to be so insecure about my opinions and likes that having someone come over to shit on me will deter me and make me re-think everything. I also don't need other people to tell me they think like me to feel validated. So why can't people leave us alone when we say we like certain things and dislike others?

(3) I'm sorry I just came at you with this rant out of nowhere, but man, am I pissed and stressed and anxious and on-edge all the time now because I've been involved and seen so mucg discourse around Naruto stuff I've gotten so, so damn tired. Delusional Sa*uS*ku fangirls, delusional SN fangirls, delusional itachi fans and then the ones who pretend they know everything. I'm tired, tired of having to be so guilt-tripped all the time for liking Sasuke. Seems like it's controversial to like him.

(4) But leaving all that sour and heavy stuff behind, I absolutely adore your blog!! I am so freaking glad it exists, you have no idea how many times I've checked your blog over the years only to be surprised at how similar our interpretations are. It felt like you were reading my mind and putting down thoughts that I didn't dare put down. Thank you so damn much for still being here despite all the shit you had to put up with. and alsooo..I can't stand anything new/b*ruto related so either 🙃

(5) Last one, but I hope you're doing good, staying safe and all that stuff. I realllly wish I could talk to you as a friend, feels like we would vibe so much given how similar our thought processes seem to be xD AHH!! I also adore your fics so damn much, I still remmeber the days I used to refresh ever day just to see if there was an update ;_; I'm so glad you even wrote those fics so I'm not begging or guiltripping for updates, just wanting to put out my thanks. Love you sweetie, tc  😭💕

First of all thanks for the nice words~

Aand...Anon I don’t get one thing. We all saw how crazy anime discourse (or fictional stuff one) can get. You are confident about your opinions (which are totally right because CANON Sas is passive in relationship, he’s the yin cuz kishi said so and ppl who say the opposite, especially SS, SN and SI shippers are just delusional) and you don’t need other ppl’s bullshit discourse...then why do you engage in N*ruto discourse even? I mean, you tried once, you saw how shitty ppl are then why insist? I get that ppl are social beings who want to discuss things they like, I really get it. But it’s obvious how this fandom (and all fandoms tbh) is, so wouldn’t it be better to keep it to yourself? Maybe do something creative like fic writing, drawing if you can, or writing your own essays about Sasuke&co, making sure you block everyone who bitches at you?

Cause idk, it feels the most rational option to stay in the fandom. Idk how long you’ve been into it but I was here when the ending came out and the word ‘discourse’ wasn’t used. I tried discussing, both ending and Sasuke related dynamics, then I realized it was useless, so I channeled my thoughts in my fics or whatever I have been doing since then, and I blocked everyone I found irritating. And it works. I just don’t care about what ppl think, I write for myself but opinions and fics, and the only moment I get angry is when my fics are criticized lol, cause ppl write in such a shitty way but they dare criticize openly or even worse, passive aggressively those who write better only because the fic is not how they’d like it to be lol. f*ck them. Actually I recently learned to ignore some person’s comments on a fic I wrote for another fandom, cause they are an author and they try so hard to be noticed by ‘constructively’ criticizing that fic for things that show they read it not attentively, so the best revenge is to ignore them. So I don’t understand why such simple thing doesn’t work for others.

Same for guilt...idk why someone would make someone feel guilty for liking Sasuke or certain dynamics. Cause if they succeed it means that they found some ‘internalized’ guilt that existed already, which I don’t get. I’m so very glad that reading my stuff you find it so similar to your thoughts...and this is smth that makes me think that if you write your own thoughts someone will feel the same and they’ll come to you. You never know who’s reading your stuff after all, and even though there’s plenty of ass*oles there are also fans who are desperate to find the good stuff lol. Lol it’s so cool to realize how some ppl appreciate something ‘controversial’ or weird, like a rarepair, or an opinion. And btw liking bottomSas isn’t either, it’s canon lol.

I’m glad you like my blog, as I was saying, and everything else, it’s cool to have the same thought process and thanks for not asking for updates, some fics like In Power...I won’t update anyway (I’m kinda bored of Itachicentric stuff and positive Itasasu), others I will when I have time and inspiration as I’m also writing for another fandom. But everything I left on hiatus had its ‘season ending’ so it’s ok I guess. Maybe lol. Ugh I’m sorry but I don’t understand how some authors can be so quick and productive while I need so much time lol