#I am totally normal about those fictional men

[nichtimhandelerhaeltlich]

ddf!f1: young Samuel Reynolds, confidence bordering on arrogance, burning hotter than a flame and fully prepared to burn if it meant success , ready to dominate the grid with his reckless and stubborn driving style. The next season he meets his Match and polar opposite William Grey. He is calm, calculated but not any less stubborn or arrogant than Reynolds. Both of them only focused on winning the championship, they quickly develop a Rivalry.

With time they both start to mellow each other out. Reynolds fire starts to be less destructive, turning from a wild fire into the fire that fuels a oven in a well loved living room. Grey's Ice starts melting, less of a ice berg and more the first snow on a long awaited winter morning.

Somewhere along the line of several won and lost championships and more or less successful seasons the both of them fell in love.

But some things were meant to burn. And some things aren't. One day, during what should have been a normal grand prix, Reynolds, arrogantly trying to overtake Grey because neither of them ever lost their competitive spirit, lost control of his car driving himself and what should have been - and maybe even was - the love of his life into the barricade. Reynolds came out on his own - later getting dubbed the man that walked through fire by the media - but Grey had to be rescued. They never managed to save his legs.

During the time Grey spent into the hospital, he waited for his rival, his partner to visit him. After Reynolds never showed up, his love for his fellow driver turned into hate. And it wasn't the hot, burning kind either, no William M. Greys anger is a thing of ice picks and ice bergs. Firstly only blaming him for not visiting, he later went on and blamed his former love for the loss of his leg movement on the other driver.

Samuel Reynolds can't remember the first few weeks after the crash. He only remembers burning and trying his hardest to put out that fire that has encompassed his whole being. But his flames were fueled by his guilt like a candle is by oxygen. He remembers pushing himself and his car beyond what's possible, however he doesn't remember any of these wins.

the first thing he clearly remembers was finally manning up and visiting Grey in the hospital,whos anger had already started to infest his limbs so much he couldnt actually feel it anymore. After getting yelled at by what he truly thought was his future life partner, the man he thought would spend the rest of his life with, and being told to get out of his life and never come back again, he went on and absolutely ruined his already well established leadership - which would have been a guaranteed win with his only real rival out of the race - so hard.

Even tho he didn't stop racing for a few years before retiring and taking over a more passive role in his Team, he never truly recovered to the success he had at the height of his career before the crash.

[angeltism]

going to bed with Normal Thoughts about Rody and Auggie

[topazadine]

Okay, okay, here's perhaps my spiciest and most controversial take yet.

Now, before I even say anything, please note that I am talking specifically about fantasy. Not retellings of myths, not historical fiction set in different countries, nothing like that. This is for second-world fantasy, where you're creating a whole different world.

Ready?

Stop making everything so damn complicated!

This is not to say that you can't have a rich and exciting world filled with lore, religion, different societies, traditions, unique geographies. Not that. Of course we want that: it's the whole reason we read fantasy. I'm talking about something else.

This is my simple takedown, and you can read the rest to better understand what I mean:

Stop jamming your story with five billion weird words.

Don't use super complicated nouns.

Keep the characters to a minimum so we can know and like them.

Don't yammer on about all the backstory.

Stop making readers do homework just to understand things.

Focus on the feeling a story gives instead of the intricate worldbuilding.

And lastly, a pre-emptive note to those who are putting their hackles up and telling me why they are an exception.

Why is it important to keep things simple?

A lot of people shy away from fantasy because they assume that every fantasy story is going to be so complicated that their head will hurt. Not in terms of plot - many people like complicated plots - but in terms of terminology and history. Things that ultimately don't really matter to the plot.

We as writers often assume that everyone cares about our story as much as we do and is equally captivated by every detail. This is simply not true.

To your reader, your story is not their life's work: it is entertainment that they want to be able to enjoy at their leisure. It's a distraction from their difficult lives and all their real-world frustrations. If they get really into it and, say, write fanfic or whatever, that's amazing! But they're not likely to do that if they feel like they'll be jumped on for doing something wrong or that they have to include every single little detail.

For example, I wrote over 1 million words of Touken Ranbu fanfic. Touken Ranbu, at its heart, has a very simple premise: you've got a bunch of legendary swords that were turned into hot men and fight evil time-traveling monsters. You can understand it with just that. There are layers to it, though, that you can slowly untangle. That makes for good writing because it works on multiple levels depending on how much you care about it.

I would have given up on the story if I felt like I needed a dictionary just to understand the plot. Most people would. Language needs to be accessible and premises need to be clear, or no one is going to want to go deeper.

Subtle little details that people can pick up are way more enjoyable than tossing every single factoid at people so that they feel overwhelmed and can't think. It's wonderful to have rich layers of symbolism, mythology, etc. That's excellent. But you can only get people to care about those things if they can actually comprehend your damn story.

A lot of the things that turn people off from fantasy are all about a writer's ego, and it oozes through the work. People can tell that you're wanting them to pat you on the back for putting so much shit in your story. It's annoying and a total turn-off when you make readers work so hard to comprehend what you're saying.

So what exactly am I talking about? This.

Using made-up terms for everything that could easily be explained with a normal English word

When I am writing fantasy, I imagine myself as a translator. After all, my made-up societies have their own made-up language (Seinish) that is referenced a few times.

However, I'm not using Seinish words all the time. I'm writing in English. I didn't write out a Seinish dictionary or even come up with most of the terms because, honestly? Most readers don't care. They want to understand what's going on in as simple of terms as possible, with only a few specific terms that remind us that we're somewhere different.

I may use some specialized terminology, but it's always couched in context clues that make us aware of what it is without actually having to just say "sdlkjfslkdjf, also known as a marketplace."

For example, in The Eirenic Verses, the High Poet Society has religious centers called meronyms. (Which actually isn't a made-up word.) We know they're religious centers because we see all the religious leaders living there. Someone sees the term "meronym" and goes "oh yeah, that's the religious place" and moves on.

It's one of the only confusing, specialized terms in the book other than place names, which people expect whenever they're reading fantasy. Because of that, it stands out and is easy to remember. It's not one of 1029310283012830132 different terms someone has to remember in order to follow along.

Even Tolkien, famed for literally writing an entire extra book full of lore for his stories, doesn't really use that much specialized terminology except for place names. My favorite author, China Mieville, only uses specialized terminology for things that have absolutely no basis in our reality and that can't be explained otherwise. And he's an extremely eloquent guy who uses the weirdest words possible whenever he can. If he can write a book that's mostly comprehensible without a cheat sheet, you can too.

If there is an English term for what you are trying to explain, just use that, for the love of god. The point of writing a story is not to show how smart and special you are: it is to tell a story. You need to remove as many barriers to access as possible.

Things that get a pass and can be made up most, if not all, of the time:

Place names (as in specific places, not categories of things)

Peoples' names

Languages

Species that don't exist in our world

Modes of transportation that don't exist in our world

Magic that can't be explained in any other way

Technology that can't be defined by our language

Look, if you have an animal that is basically a dragon, just call it a dragon. If you've got a wheeled carriage, call it a carriage. Call earth magic something based in earth terms, like "terravitae" or something, idk. There should be some connection to our world in your terminology because you are writing this in English for an English-speaking audience.

It doesn't make you a lazy writer, it makes you one that wants people to understand what you're talking about. Again, imagining yourself as a translator is a good way to keep yourself from going ham on the nouns.

Proper nouns that are way too complicated

Let's look at some well-known proper nouns from fantasy.

Middle Earth

Narnia

Earthsea

Discworld

Westeros

Ankh-Morpork

Bas-Lag

Wonderland

They're all ... simple. They're not a million syllables with weird intonations and accents and all that. If you showed this to a medieval peasant, they'd probably be able to pronounce them and would likely understand that they were place names.

Unless there's a good reason to have a weird name, don't use one. Come up with something simpler.

All of these I mentioned are three syllables or less, making them easier to remember. In fact, I'd argue that nearly every proper noun in your book should be no more than three syllables. Maybe one or two four-syllable ones.

Any very weird name should be balanced out by several easier ones so that it stands out.

40 million characters

Younger writers often want their world to feel very lived in, so they introduce dozens of characters with their own names, descriptions, backstories, etc etc etc. The problem is that this is a huge mental load on your reader, especially if a lot of the characters have very similar names. It makes reading your stuff into a chore rather than an enjoyable experience.

Now, some literary greats do have a lot of characters. But they get away with it because they're great.

I'm not great, so I don't do that.

I'd also suggest that you don't do that, regardless of how good you think you are.

To see if you have too many chracters, write out a dramatis personnae and rank it in terms of importance. Does your top tier have like 15 characters? Cut some. Figure out where they are in the story and if they don't exist for more than a few pages, delete them. Absorb them into someone else.

If a character is only in one scene, don't bother naming them. They don't matter enough. This reduces the cognitive load for your reader because they can see that character for what they are: a background person who exists only briefly.

Any time you name a character, they need to have deep plot relevance. The more unusual your character's name, the more important they should be. And they should have some sort of relationship to another character, preferably the main character. Otherwise, why are they there? Why do we care? Go away!

Way too much backstory

I am an adult and my brain is filled with 50 million other things. I have to remember stuff for my job, I have a to-do list, I have family I care about who needs me.

Your story is not the end-all be-all of my existence. Hell, my story is not the end-all be-all of my existence either. I want to be able to pick up your book, understand what's going on, and then delve a bit deeper or even make up my own headcanons.

I do not need the entirety of your story's world thrown at me right off the bat. It is overwhelming and tiring. Imagine if you visited a different country and someone immediately came up to you and started spewing the whole history of the country right after you stepped off the plane. That's what you're doing to your readers!

Think also about how you approach your everyday world. Do you reel off a million facts about your personal history the instant you meet someone? No, of course not. It'd be weird and creepy.

Are you constantly recalling facts about your city while walking down the street? Do you even know any major facts about your city? You probably know a few little trivia points and that's it. Because it's not relevant to you, and it's not relevant to your readers, either. I can't recall off the top of my head when Cleveland was settled, but I can tell you that we have the world's first Dunkleosteus fossil in our museum, because that is interesting to me. That's the kind of thing that makes a place feel lived-in, not four hundred thousand pages of exposition about the place's history.

Give your readers time to settle in, and reveal things slowly as they make sense. Maybe we hear a little bit about the country's government as they pass a parliament house, or because they have to visit the city center for a different reason. If it's not pertinent to the current scene, then don't put it there.

I've got tons of lore for my world. Some of it may be referenced one singular time, and some of it may be never referenced at all. That's okay, because it's just for me to get a better sense of the place I created. If a reader doesn't need it, then I don't bother putting it in, because it might detract from their enjoyment.

Overall: stop making your readers do homework!

We do not want our readers to feel like they are working when they are reading our stuff. Excellent writers can infuse deep themes and symbology into their stories without making it feel like work. These are the writers who are remembered forever, because not only have they made a good story that you can enjoy at a surface level, but they have also twined in deeper themes that you can dive into after you've digested the story.

I did my undergrad in British literature, so I read a lot of Shakespeare and contemporaneous authors. Shakespeare is considered complicated by modern standards because of the Elizabethan language, but if you translated it into modern terms, his stories are simple. People betray each other and stab each other, or fuck each other, or get transported to weird magical worlds.

You could watch a Shakespeare play and think absolutely nothing of the themes, but still enjoy the story. You could know absolutely nothing about Greek history and still get the gist.

This is because Shakespeare specifically wrote his plays to appeal to a mass audience. He was a god-tier author when it came to balancing symbology and plot. To be like Shakespeare, be simple. Remember that your reader does. not. really. care. all that much. They don't.

It's very unlikely that your writing is going to become someone's life's work and they're going to spend their whole existence studying. Cool if true, but unlikely.

Your job is to make a story that people like and want to read. Only when you've gotten people liking and reading do you get permission to go ham with the backstory and the characterization and the weird names, because they trust you to create a story that they will like. Otherwise, your primary objective is making people feel things so they want to feel more things and read more stories.

People care more about how a story makes them feel than the specifics

Yes, of course there are outliers to this who really want every single detail of the world, but those are few and far between. You should not tailor your story to these exceptions. Think about the average everyday person.

I have many books that I love, but I can't tell you everything about them now. I can, however, tell you how I felt when I was reading them: the plot twists that made me gasp, the thing that made me cry. I can give you a general, sweeping impression of whether I liked or disliked the story and what made me feel something. This is what people recommend books based on: how they felt.

Your story should focus on the plot and the emotion. People watch movies, listen to music, read books, or look at art to feel something, not to memorize factoids for later usage. Even if they do want to memorize factoids, they won't do that if they haven't built an emotional connection to the story.

While in life, we want facts over feelings, it's opposite in creative writing. We want feelings over facts. The emotional resonance, the mood, the characters, the plot: that is what is important, not showing off how smart you are and how much you have thought about your story.

"But Topazadine, I am special and different! I'm not going to follow your advice."

Sure. Go ahead. I can't stop you. If you want to have a million characters and an entire dictionary to explain everything, that is your choice.

No one can tell you how to write; my advice is just advice.

If you don't like what I have said here, then feel free to ignore it. You don't need to justify it to me or anyone else.

However, you must recognize that this may not resonate with readers. It will turn people off.

I'm not a completionist, and neither are many others; they'll roll their eyes and click out when they are faced with ten pages of character names upfront.

Of course you should always write for yourself first, but if you are planning to write fiction for any level of commercial appeal and you intend to make any amount of money on your work, then audience does matter. If you want kudos or comments on your AU, audience matters. You won't get engagement if you are alienating people.

Your writing decisions are always your own and no one can demand you do something different. You just need to decide whether your personal satisfaction in writing your story in a certain way outweighs your desire for validation, and, perhaps, money. I can't tell you the answer for that; it's up to you.

If you enjoyed this, maybe you'll consider reading my fantasy book, 9 Years Yearning, which does not have 121238103 characters and 3230123 strange words. It does, however, have double-tsundere-mutual-pining-gay-boy-awakening. And horses. It's also just $3.

[hils79]

Hils Watches The King's Avatar - Ep 24

I know Glory is a fictional game but I find it fascinating. It's clearly heavily inspired by your typical fantasy RPG. There's medieval weapons and armour, magic and dungeons. But there's also guns and rocket launchers. Has anyone sat down and written about the game and rules and stuff? I'd love to read more about it.

Also, lol, why are there American and British darts in that picture of Ye Qiu in the background?

Well, this just got really awkward

I'm crying! Wei Chen offering to speak to the captain of Team Tiny Herb and asking him to put Yifan on the roster. Yifan's face! He's just like 'is this guy for real'

I think this is the first time I've seen Ye Xiu properly laugh. These two are going to be so fun together

Uh oh a bunch of men in suits invading is never a good sign

Oh my god are you serious?

Look at her destroying the asshole dude who got in her face and tried to intimidate her. I love her.

Meanwhile Ye Xiu is watching all this with metaphorical popcorn

I love that An Wenyi is already joining in the team shenanigans

Listen. LISTEN. How do you expect me to be normal during this scene when Baozi and Yifan are just there CUDDLING. Look at the way Yifan is clinging to Baozi's hand/arm. I can't pay attention to the plot when this shit is happening why are they so cute?

Ye Xiu's face when Wei Chen tries to hit on Chen Guo. Sir that is my lesbian bestie boss you are using those cheesy lines on

She looks so unimpressed. If she was into men she'd eat him alive

Ye Xie is just 'dude I am so embarrassed for you right now please stop'

This lighting in this scene makes Yang Yang look even more pretty than normal

They really do bicker like exes

Yep they totally have History

The bickering is honestly delightful

Oh! Oh shit! He doesn't have history with Ye Xiu he has history with Shaotian! I did not see that coming!

Oh my god

OH MY GOD

Oh. My. God

Oh, no, nope. Wenzhou should never look like this he should only ever be smiling fondly at his husband

Look, I know they're playing against his team but DO NOT MAKE HIM SAD

I feel like I've seen a gif of this before but with no context. He's such a little shit

Once again I got distracted by the game but I am having a lot of fun. I enjoyed Wei Chen refusing to join in until someone pissed him off enough that he couldn't help himself

[kakashihasibs]

the character everyone gets wrong

sweaty soggy noodle man kakashi is who this is all going to be about so. I don't think everyone gets him wrong. a lot of people do but it's usually bc they're too horny to care lol

2. a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

have you seen him? have you felt his vibes? he is lazy by nature and recoils away from most physical contact that isn't necessary to do his job (and even he doesn't seem to enjoy it). there are like 7 total people he even lets see his face (while knowing it is his face) and most of them are dead by the time he is 13. hang out? sure. do nice domestic couple things? sounds lovely. get naked and fuck? so an enemy can kill him or a loved one while he's distracted? no. he probably has tried scheduling his shits and showers with gai so he's never actually vulnerable. he's also so ace.

Aubu kakashi: "Tenzō I need you to stand outside the bathroom while I shit." baby tenzō: on it boss (thinks this is completely normal bc he is also in anbu)

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

uhhh that kakashi would not only have sex but would want you to call him daddy. that nearly 50 year kakashi who has never worn sunscreen in his life shouldn't actually look old/older. that a young looking kakashi is a health looking kakashi.

4. what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?

lol that insinuation that looking young is healthy

5. worst discord server and why

i have never been in a discord server longer than a few days. idk.

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

facebook dude bro fans whoops i misread this. i thought it just said fans. but shipping fans? idk kakairu is a notp for me but the fans aren't overly annoying? maybe the painfully ooc readerx shippers. I haven't seen many in a while tho so

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

Iruka lol but only when shipped with kakashi. annoying loud-mouth chunin. whatever dude.

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

kakashi fucks and gai doesn't

9. worst part of canon

it's naruto man. everything after the land of waves arc lol

10. worst part of fanon

the bumbling husband and nagging wife characterizations from the kakairu fanon.

11. number of fandom-related words you've filtered

bruh lots idk lol

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

tenzō T-T

13. worst blorboficiation

i'm pro blorbo. i am rotating these fictional men in my mind at all times.

14. that one thing you see in fics all the time

i don't know.

15. that one thing you see in fanart all the time

fangs v-v and scars.

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

people who love kakashi but don't give a shit about gai. those two are like a packaged deal in my mind. can't have one without the other. they are eternal rivals after all.

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art

sometimes i just really need a deep dive into kakashi's head. i love the character study type stuff.

18. it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

younger gai and tenzō bumping into each other bc they're both watching kakashi stand at the memorial stone bc they're both worried.

19. you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

there is nothing i am mad/ashamed/horrified about but if you're wondering yes i do enjoy the fanarts of kakashi in bondage. lol

20. part of canon you found tedious or boring

the flashbacks are out of control. my memory isn't great but it's not that fucking bad holy shit girl

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

idk i feel like the parts of fandom i interact with are pretty realistic about how good something in Naruto is

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

Yaknow how Obito's dream that naruto sees is Obito is back in konoha and becoming hokage but Rin is still dead? like what does obito wish had changed? I think it's if Minato had recognized him. I think Obito was actually praying and hoping for Minato to realize who he was fighting. Obito had a seal on his heart. Minato could have saved him if Minato pulled his head out of his ass for more that 5 mins at a time.

23. ship you've unwillingly come around to

none. my kakashi stubbornness knows no bounds

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

idk kakashi discourse is easy for me to ignore.

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

none. i love hatefulness drama and kakashi.

[lamda-erika]

HEYYY heres my introduction to get to know me better!

im lambda-erika

im an agender asexual faggot that simps over men to a totally normal degree

my main hyperfixations incluce :

umineko

hazbin hotel

lost media

homestuck

trolls

i simp for fictional characters and date them if this is something that for some god foresaken reason gets on your nerves dni!!!

im also a satanist that respects all VALID religions (one of my besties is catholic sooo)

i am also a furry!!

interact :

umineko fandom

hazbin fandom

cool awesome valid people (furries, therians, etc)

thin ice :

south park fandom

THOSE genshin fans

people over 20

selfcest / autosexual people (if you don't mention it much you're fine :3)

dni :

basic dni criteria (if you dont know what this is, GOOGLE IT.)

proshippers

anti-furry / anti-therian

rcta / ncta / dcta / acta

political people

the kin list (closer to the top means most irl) :

pitaya dragon cookie (cookie run kingdom)

mizuki akiyama (project sekai)

erika furudo (umineko)

lambdadelta (umineko)

kat stratford (10 things i hate about you)

husker (hazbin hotel)

vaggie (hazbin hotel)

hope to meet new and awesome people!

[herehaveafandom]

This is a very random ask but, your tags on that post about attraction being wild when you separate masc/fem blah blah I forgot the post already.. Those are all exactly what I was freaking out about with my sexuality. I use lesbian for a lot of reasons, but some kink stuff with men or fictional men I kinda like, so seeing someone have the same situation is very validating.

Ok so sorry for the late response but I had to go back and find that post which was a lot BUT. Yeah!

I feel like a lesbian in my soul. My core. If I have a gender, it's some variation of "dyke". I love women. I love lesbians. peace and love on planet earth etc.

That said...sometimes a man is hot! Sometimes I'm attracted to him! I tell my friends a lot: "I want that man in a dyke manner. I want him in a lesbian way." and that I know it makes no sense but its True! Sometimes I need that man like a lesbian!

I've been thinking about the type of men i like recently and come to some conclusions. First, I don't like men Like A Straight Girl Likes Men (Probably partly because I'm not a girl. Also sorry for stereotyping you straight girls it will happen again).

Generally men I like are

Fictional. one of my favorite phrases is that @blue-jacket-blues is obsessed with is when I said "I need Obi-Wan Kenobi barechested and weeping on his knees." I WANT MY MEN TO BE TORTURED.

Queer. Queer men...I looooove fags...and sometimes I see a queer man and im like hm. we should be a gay couple. As my friend who i will not call out here says, "I like my men fruity."

As an extra layer to that, in drag. Trixie Mattel once said, "When I die, dipped me in G and throw me to the lezzies" and baby I will be at the front of that line.

Kinky. I'm going to expose myself here and say without giving out specifics that I put some money in the pockets of some ethical and highly enjoyable filmmakers and actors who do some, what shall we say, inventive scenes. I watch what I enjoy and if that's men then that's men. My fantasies are in the safety of MY head and thats perfectly fine!

Normal. Part of the reason I used to be so averse to ever thinking I could be attracted to men was because I wasn't into the red carpet sex symbols of Hollywood. I don't care about them. Some of them I appreciate aesthetically, but I'm not into them. You know what I like? MEN WHO LOOK LIKE REAL PEOPLE. You know who that is? BRENNAN LEE MULLIGAN. WHAT A GUY.

All of the above, or at least some combination. Kinky queer guys? (Leather daddies I am willing to do a lot for you.) When Brennan Lee Mulligan plays Garthy O'Brien and says "lovey" in that tone? Yeah. When drag queens get all domme? Hiiiiiiiii.

Also like...a lot of this is, again, IN MY HEAD. Fantasies are a safe place to enjoy things you might not enjoy in real life and thats totally fine! I engage with a lot of things in my head that I probably wouldn't do IRL.

But yeah, when I stopped trying to deny that there were some men I was into, my life got so much better. I'm a dyke who sometimes likes men. Could I force myself into a different label? Maybe. But it wouldn't feel RIGHT, and if I'm going to have a label its going to being one I feel comfortable with.

Anyway this was a lot longer than I meant it to be. No bitching in the notes about how I a person with less that 1000 followers am personally ruining the queer community. God bless and get head (Unless you dont want head in which case. rejoice freshly baked bread be upon ye)

[fvdvrdvechfgdvd]

OK, nothing to do with Daddy Gosling, but HAHAHA, I've been browsing this page and things have come up... I don't know, they're weird, lmao so... hey! to this strange community :') what I am going to publish is not hatred against you (the one who is reading it) or against anyone.I think this has gotten out of hand and it's not from now, it's from a long time ago, so I'd like to say something.The first thing is that cmbyn's "fandom" (if it can be called that) bothers me a lot, a lot, it's a nice movie that talks about things that can happen to a person, but I'm not going to talk about the movie, I'm going to talk about those or those who publish and write nonsense about two men, Timothee and Armie.Girls (probably 14 years old) have made accounts on Ig doing very risque photo editing and no, they are not about Elio and Oliver, they are about Timothee and Armie doing sexual things, also writing sexual things about the two of them on Tumblr, Wattpad and aO3 . I really see this stupid, I see that they have no life, that they don't have enough attention from their parents and they do that kind of thing I don't know why, why is it really ridiculous, but I really fucking love Call Me By Your Name, I love Timothee, not Armie, because of those things he's done, but it's fucking annoying that you do those things, it's stupid and disgusting I really mean it, Armie has children and was married to a woman, after divorcing her, a lot of people did more stupid things . They said Timothee was secretly gay and in love with Armie, speculating about a person is offensive to me and surely to him, since this type of "fans" have said that Timmy is secretly gay and that he loves Armie. I read that close friends and people from Timmy's own family have come out to defend him by saying that he is NOT secretly gay.Now the question is, why the hell do you say that? Why have you ever used queerbating?? Or why did he make a movie that plays not a homosexual but a bisexual teenager? or just because you appreciate your coworker?? And that's why he's secretly gay?? Please! He and Armie define themselves as heterosexual you can't say or speculate that Timothee is gay, you can't make two grown men do something they've done in a fucking movie, have something like in the movie, that's ridiculous and from what I see it's not you understand exactly what a good friendship is. Also when Timothee was in relationship with Lily-Rose Deep they kept shipping them, they insulted Timmy, for being with her and not with Armie, Armie even denounced an account of a 'fan' who asked him to leave his wife (at that time it was) and left with Timothee, who had to fuck Timmy and not his slutty wife, Armie reported the account and said 'it seems that people don't know how to differentiate fiction from reality' and it's true! Really the little girls who say "I love my Armie" "I love my Timmy" "I love them" it's a lie you don't love anyone you are disgusting I really say it and now, I'm already fed up and what I want to get at is that you can't make stories about two people who have worked together, been friends and moved on with their lives, you can't why it's really all in your fucking head you have something in your head that's never going to happen and it's totally ridiculous.Timmy is happy, I don't care if it's with Kylie or Tay or I know with someone else, Armie I don't know, I'll suppose that too, so leave this shit alone, if you really love them as you say and you're fans stop, it is not normal. Timothee is straight, Armie is straight, you can't change the sexuality of two people who are sure of their sexuality. So think, reflect... why it's ridiculous. NOW I AM NOT OFFENDED BY CMBYN FAN ACCOUNTS AT ALL, I LOVE THAT VERY MUCH, but the #Charmie accounts, #CharmieForever #Charmieisreal this... are aberrations and are embarrassing.

[secret-diary-of-an-fa]

The Return of Doctor Who Part 1: Rumour Patrol

TRIGGER WARNING: I still hate Chris Chibnall; unneccessary bukkake references; a tractor-crash described in punishing detail; the tragedy of being Wales (Britain’s Designated Punchline Province).

So, Doctor Who’s back- or is going to be later this year! And if you’re thinking “but it never went away…?” in a confused tone of thought, then congratulations on being completely fucking oblivious! The last few years have been… a car crash. But a not a fun car crash with lots of blood and guts to gawk at… more like one of those crap, country road car crashes where you pass a tractor upside down in a ditch with a farmer standing looking mournfully at it and wonder how something so slow and heavy failed to do the one thing it was trying to do so fucking miserably. That level of car-crash. So, when I say ‘Doctor Who’s back!’, what I mean is that Doctor Who is once more going to star talented actors and actresses and be written by experienced, skilled screen-writers who have paid their dues and actually have a handle on the genre their working in, as well as how to use themes, subtlety and subtext.

Now, to you or I or any sensible person, this just seems like straight-up good news. Russel T. Davies, who brought the show back to life in ‘05 is going to be showrunner, David Tennant is going to star, followed by Ncuti Gatwa (a BAFTA-winning actor, enthusiastic Who fan and all-round chocolate sex machine). For normal, mentally healthy people, this is a confluence of wonderful events that categorically does not invite shit-stirring. For certain parts of the media, however, it’s an excuse to invent dementedly racist straw-men from whole cloth, spread stupid-arse rumours about casting decisions in the hope of getting a rise, and just generally talk bollocks and pedal nonsense for clicks. So, because I can’t stand to see the discourse on something I love dominated by towering wankers with the media literacy of four year olds, I’ve decided to round up the rumours and op-eds, put them in a row, and subject them to the Firing Squad of Actual Facts. In other words, I’ve done the bare minimum of due diligence that the mainstream media didn’t bother to do and am now going to tell you which headlines are true and which are horseshit.

THE RUMOUR: ROSE TYLER IS NOW A DARK-SKINNED TRANS WOMAN THE REALITY: This is, of course, absolute bullshit. The Guardian (which used to be fairly reputable, before they started letting nutters with no journalistic training write for them) got hold of the name ‘Rose’ and the name of a trans actress attached to the upcoming Doctor Who special, put two and two together and somehow came up with seven. Trans actress Yasmin Finney will be playing Donna Noble’s trans daughter, Rose Temple-Noble, not Rose Tyler. Amazingly, it turns out two people can be named Rose- one probably after the other. The Guardian article is absolutely fucking hilarious, however, on a number of levels. For a start, it’s just factually wrong in the way that an article published in a proper newspaper shouldn’t be, but that’s just the tip of the iceberg. It takes the form of an imagined argument with a made-up racist transphobe so arch that it’s immediately obvious nobody on Earth has ever uttered their side of the fictional conversation. Additionally, the author seems to think that Rose Tyler is a Time Lord who can change her face like the Doctor (which is incorrect… although, if it turned out that absorbing the Time Vortex that one time rewrote her DNA, I’d totally be there for that. But that’s just me writing fanfic in my brain- not a real thing within the show). To put the icing on the cake, the article invites all those evil, bigoted fake fans to fuck off while (and I quote) “the rest of us have a blast.” Apparently, ‘the rest of us’ who will be enjoying Doctor Who once all the mean, bad people have left are people who, er, don’t watch Doctor Who or know how to research really basic casting decisions. Genius.

THE RUMOUR: AFORESAID YASMIN FINNEY WILL BE NCUTI GATWA’S DOCTOR’S COMPANION THE REALITY: This rumour is less stupid, in that it’s entirely possible she’ll have an important and ongoing role within the show once Gatwa takes over from David Tennant as the Doctor... but still no. She’s not the main, recurring companion for Gatwa’s Doctor. That honour goes to young up-and-comer Millie Gibson, who will be playing a character called Ruby Sunday. While we’re on the subject, I’d like to go on record and make a prediction right now, so we can check back and see if I was right in about, say, five years: while she doesn’t appeal to me personally (partly because I’m engaged and partly because she has less meat on her than ploughman’s sandwich), I predict Millie Gibson and her freakishly buoyant Jessica Rabbit chest-bongos will launch puberty early for an entire generation of Whovians. And now I’ve made that prediction… we play the waiting game. Preferably with our Bukkake-proof umbrellas raised and readied.

THE RUMOUR: NEIL PATRICK HARRIS WILL PLAY THE CELESTIAL TOYMAKER THE REALITY: This one is possible but, as far as I can tell, not confirmed at the time of writing. It seems that the Beeb has released a photo of Harris in costume… but not told us who he’s playing. The Celestial Toymaker seems like a reasonable guess, because he’s an entity with incredible, seemingly magical powers coupled to an eccentric demeanour and aesthetic, while Harris is a magician in real life (yet another reason to love the guy) whose general persona approximates the classic-era villain. The costume, of course, also fits the bill. I would be fucking delighted if this one turned out to be true, but let’s not get our knickers dripping with anticipation just yet. It’s still entirely possible he’s playing someone else. Maybe the Dream Lord from that one episode where the Doctor was basically torturing himself inside his own mind; maybe a classic antagonist so obscure even I don’t know who they are; maybe someone completely new, invented for the upcoming 60th Anniversary Special. We’ll just have to wait and see.

THE RUMOUR: GILLIAN ANDERSON MIGHT BE IN IT. THE REALITY: That would be great, because Gillian Anderson is basically the Second Lady of Sci-Fi after Sigourney Weaver (who’s kind of too American to fit comfortably into the quintessentially British Whoniverse, awesome though she is). However, at the moment, it’s sheer wishful thinking on behalf of the fans and on behalf of Gatwa, who’d apparently like to see her involved. Actually, since we’re occasionally going to be getting female regenerations from now, could we just cast her as the next Doctor after Gatwa? I mean, I know that gender-flipping is stupid because it erases an important part of a character’s identity (it’s a point I’ve made many times), but I also realise the toothpaste isn’t going back in the tube on this one, so we might as well just cast some really great actresses instead. So, yeah: Gillian Anderson for Doctor Who! Let’s start a petition before they accidentally hire a talent-free walking charisma-dampner instead! Don’t laugh- it’s happened once already. Twice if you include Collin, the crap one of the two Bakers.

And that’s pretty much it for the rumours. As it turns out, only one worth writing up was actively shit-stirry, while the others were… well, one was kinda dumb but understandable and a couple were just wild optimism. Honestly, that’s pretty cool. It’s nice not to have to spend hours of my life dismantling idiots for once- only mere minutes. Before I go, there are a couple of things that the media have been saying about the coming era of Doctor Who that aren’t rumours but which I feel I might as well address while we’re here.

1) Yasmin Finney said her casting and role in Doctor Who will “change the world”. To be clear, it definitely won’t. It might very slightly course-correct casting decision criteria in the BBC’s drama department, and it’ll be nice for trans people to see one of their own in an important role in a sci-fi drama, but ‘changing the world’ is definitely beyond the scope of a role in a piece of modestly-budgeted British genre fiction. That said, I’m not going to roll my eyes and tut too loudly- Finney’s young and excitable and you’re allowed to say stupid shit when you’re young and excitable. That’s what you’re teenage years and early twenties are for. That and substance abuse.

2) Loads of media outlets are going on about what a big deal it is that Gatwa is the first black Doctor in the show’s history. Again, I’m sure it’ll be lovely for non-white Brits to see one of their own in the lead role of the Beeb’s flagship sci-fi drama, but it’s not really a historic moment just because it happens to be a first. Britain isn’t America and, while we have our share of racist cretins, for the most part national and regional identity are much more prominent in our collective psyche than skin tone. Case in point, both black and white Irish people hate the English with equal intensity, everyone makes fun of the Welsh with no reference to colour, the Scottish are universally feared as hard-cases and Cornwall refers to the rest of us as ‘the mainland’ despite not being an island. Meanwhile, if the TV show Luther has taught us anything, it’s that we’re actually pretty good at judging a man by the contents of his character and not the colour of his skin. Provided a man’s an untidy megalomaniacal wreck with anger management issues and connections in the criminal underworld, most Brits will embrace him as truly One Of Our Own regardless of his ethnic heritage. I slightly suspect that the media is hoping the racists will come out of the woodwork over Gatwa’s casting so that it can go into smug preachy mode and score some Right Side of History points with thickos, but since this is the UK not the deep south of the US of A, that probably isn’t going to happen and they should stop embarrassing themselves. The gender-flip of the Chibnall/Whitaker era was capital-letters BAD and attracted backlash because, across every regeneration, certain aspects of the Doctor’s character were specifically male-coded or masculine, so the change was damaging to the character. The same just isn’t true of his skin colour- he’s culturally coded as British (despite being an alien) but not necessarily white or even class-conforming, so it just isn’t the same thing.

Right, glad we got all that sorted out. I’ve got a few more things to say about Doctor Who now that we’re heading into a period when it’ll be worth watching again, but those are definitely separate blogs. Expect to see those sometime this week. Until then, I never made the Doctor’s vow to never be cruel or cowardly, so if you’d like to fuck off before I get my shotgun, that’d be swell.

[tlonista]

I don’t have a good take here, but god, I spend so much time thinking about what the purpose of my writing is. There are basically two Booktok Discourse Wolves inside me at all times.

Wolf 1: It’s good that you have fun writing fanfiction about characters and situations that you like! The distinction between high and low media is artificial, and there’s nothing stopping your work from being artistically meaningful just because it’s not commercially published and it follows a style many people see as frivolous! You spent more time researching a Jayvik AU than you have ever even considered for a novel! Countless genres have been rehabilitated as “legitimate” fiction after years of being dismissed as trash!

Wolf 2: Oh cool it’s one of those people who thinks Marvel movies are the new Shakespeare. Forget the theoretical debates, you personally know that your work is repetitive melodrama meant to strike a few familiar emotional notes over and over with characters people only read about because somebody else made some pretty drawings of them. You could have seriously practiced your craft and produced real half-decent fiction that you could at least ever admit to creating with a straight face. Instead you went for the easy option of writing hurt/comfort about other people’s toys and justifying it with some English 101 bullshit about intertextuality.

And I mean, I want to say Wolf 2 is right because the hard thing to hear is supposed to be the right one. But I’m also pragmatic. The world does not need one more Clarkesworld story, whether or not I’m good enough to write it, and I’m not sure I am. I was never going to be the next Harlan Ellison or Jonathan Lethem or Jeff Vandermeer, let alone whatever non-genre writers people consider full-fledged literature. There’s not some essential truth I’d be getting at if I worked harder on the original stuff, god knows it’s a total mess when it happens. My writing has never been fueled by having something important to tell people, I just like writing and that requires telling something.

I’m also just… not being glib when I say that I’m dubious of Literature as a moral or aesthetic duty. Way more than art or music, a lot of people talk about fiction as nourishment — you’ve got “junk food” books that make you feel good and “vegetable” books that are serious and beautiful and improve you as a human being. But nutrients are scientifically measurable materials with predictable effects. Fiction’s “nourishingness” is a bunch of supposed virtues that seem about as reliable as roulette (understanding The Human Condition sure didn’t make a lot of male writers less awful to their wives) and apply better to nonfiction anyhow. If you want to Become More Empathetic by Learning New Perspectives, you should cut out the middleman and read about people’s real lives. You’ll probably improve your vocabulary along the way too.

So what’s the point of fiction, specifically? A comparison that fits me personally a little better is music. It’s fun and it hits something hard to define inside me, sometimes because it’s technically impressive and sometimes because it’s new and sometimes because it’s got this one chord progression that I love in anything. It benefits musicians to listen to stuff outside their normal comfort zone and develop instrumental skill, but as an outsider I don’t think of them as existing along a sliding scale of Musicianness the way that I’ve got an internal hierarchy of writing styles.

And unfortunately that puts me back with Wolf 1. I think if you like writing it’s bad to lock yourself into reading one genre, because it dramatically narrows the input you’re working with. But maybe writing about men I’m ambiguously attracted to getting hurt and cared for is just… like being really into garage revival. It’s not a moral and artistic failing. I just like the vibrations of three chords getting played real hard, and I want to make the absolute best version of that riff I can.

It keeps getting to me that there’s no path forward for that. There’s not a publishing deal or a magazine acceptance or any metric except raw AO3 popularity, really — no gold star that’s going to say I’m finally a real writer. But over the past year I’ve also had more people than I expected talk about how much they connected with a detail I added to a piece, or a line I wrote, or something. And it feels really good. It feels like the way people respond to “real” fiction, and it’s probably the reason I’ve done as much of this as I have. So like, there’s not an inspirational ending point here. But… thanks, everyone, I guess?

[butch-bakugo]

The problem isn't that kids don't like proshippers or their content; things like that are totally fine, block as you please. The problem is the harassment, doxxing, and abuse that (most) proshippers have had to face, simply because people are equating discomfort to tangible harm (not downplaying that you were abused by proshippers btw, I fully believe you. But they abused you because they were abusers, not because they were proship [CSA MENTION] I was abused by antis as a child, but that wasn't because they were antis most of the time, you know?)

The fact that racist propaganda works should tell you that fiction affects reality. The fact that psychologists have stated over and over that consuming porn of fictional children can either exasperate pedophilic attraction or literally turn you into a pedophile should tell you that fiction affects reality. The fact that your brain literally, in all cases, can not tell the difference between fiction and reality because the natural brain perceives these people as real should tell you fiction affects reality. The fact that people cry when characters die should tell you fiction affects reality. My own dead name came from a fictional play.

Fiction affects reality and pedophiles and incestiophilies and zoophiles and everyone of you who sit there and defend this shit deserve to be bullied because IF YOU DO NOT GET SOCIAL AGGRESSION, THAT BEHAVIOR BECOMES NORMALIZED AND YOU ARE A FOOL TO THINK FOR A MOMENT THAT YOU ARE SO SPECIAL THAT YOU ARE IMMUNE TO THE VERY REALITY THAT CONSUMING A CERTAIN VEIN OF CONTENT ENOUGH WILL NORMALIZE THAT CONTENT IN YOUR OWN MORALITY.

YOU ARE NOT IMMUNE TO PROPAGANDA OR CULT LIKE NORMALIZATION OF ABUSE AND AS MUCH AS YOU SAY IT NOW, YOU WILL LOOK BACK ON THESE MOMENTS WITH DISDAIN.

I am horrified by the things I did as a proshipper. I am horrified by the things I justified as a proshipper because "they are fictional". My brain normalized a kid ending up with her uncle because I was surrounded by people justifying it as well as my abuser. I am horrified by my own art and can't look at one of ocs the same because of the cultish nature in those groups and the things proshippers did with her. We have a million stories of grown people, mostly men, going from fictional pedophilia to actual tangible harm. The human brain is literally not wired to tell the difference and you are not immune to human nature. Fiction affects reality and that is a fact and the more proshippers who come out as "ficto-maps" or "ficto-zoos" or getting into pedophilic, incestuous and dangerous relationships is evidence enough. Tons of ex-proshippers speaking out about it's harm and you dare to bring in " well I allow that she molested as a kid and drew kids fucking adults but I draw the line at bullying!🤬🤬🤬" DO YOU FUCKING HEAR YOURSELF???

You will not change my mind and I do not care if a pedophile or incestiophilie or zoophile gets doxxed or harassed. I don't care. You deserve it because clearly if you can look at these acts without distain, you must find something attractive about it and your automatically sus. I don't trust proshippers because I know proshippers. I know what they do and what they find attractive and every point of position they take. Your argument is flawed from all angles, be it moral or social or factual. It's simply false. You do nothing but normalize these heinous acts when you display these "ships" with abusive and immoral dynamics as good things.

Fictional ships do cause tangible harm wether you wanna accept that or not. They have for years and they will forever because the brain wasn't wired with fiction in mind. Every proshipper has a skeleton in the closet. They all have something and you just gotta run in those circles deep enough to find it. Without fail it has happened many times. I've had it happen with every single proshipper friend I've had and I've had MANY. Like 30+. If you can't accept fiction has and always will affect reality and normalization of bad things as good things can occur, even if it's only in fandom contexts, there's no conversation to be had here because your not being factual. Your just expressing your feelings and guess what?

I don't care about proshipper's feelings💅

[theteasetwrites]

okay, here it goes. my first language isn't english so sorry in advance, i might not be able to express correctly what i intend.

its not exactly about twd, but going through your masterlist i saw your disclaimer about SKS (i totally understand why you feel that way) and that you no longer write reader under 25. but you're 22 (if im not mistaken, if i am pls no need to answer this) so i was wondering that if you had the chance to be in a relationship with daryl, apocalypse or not, would the age gap be an impediment?

PLEASE do not see it as an attack or me being shady, is just a genuine question from someone who is younger and grew up in a family where age gap is normal and basically a rule (i'm trying to not find it normal, but im still in the process, its hard when its about your family and the way your were raised)

Hello! And your English is perfectly fine, no need to worry. This is another long answer so I will add a cut. My full answer is below. <3

Ah yes, I recently added that actually, and I am glad you are bringing that up. You are correct, I am 22 (turning 23 on Nov 15 rip). So to your question, I am not sure. I don't really think about it because Daryl is a fictional character and whenever I imagine the reader, it's a mid-late 20s/early 30s woman or a woman exactly Daryl's age (give or take) because that's just sort of the vibe I like to go for. But if we are speaking purely hypothetically, I probably would not pursue a relationship with Daryl if we're talking later seasons (so when he's in his late 40s), but if we're talking the very beginning of the series (when he's late 30s), maybe. It depends. I mean, I never said that I think either Daryl or the reader in that series was wrong for pursuing that relationship, I just think that in hindsight, it was something I shouldn't have written because 19 is very young. Like, super young. Insanely young. 22 is also super young, but there's definitely a difference between 22 and 19. Still, I don't think I would be too persistent about starting a relationship with him. Waiting until I was older, maybe, would probably be more comfortable for me, because that's just really young and older men are known for taking advantage of younger women and there's often a power dynamic.

Personally, I could never see myself seriously going for someone over say, 5 or 6 years older than me (so age 30 basically is my hard cut-off for my personal preference). I don't even mind the idea of dating someone slightly younger than me (like a year or two, nothing younger than that because those are babies. If you're under 20, you're baby).

Don't get me wrong at all. I am not against age gaps, not in the slightest. It just depends on the age of the younger person, I think. When I wrote Some Kind of Stranger, that was a reader who was 19 and Daryl was about twenty years older than her. Now, if she was, say, 25 and Daryl was 45, I don't really see anything super wrong with that age gap. So that's the same number of years, but the difference is that the woman is older. She's not 19, she has much more experience and is more likely to be able to hold her own in the relationship than a 19 year old. That's not to say 19 year olds are immature, but let's face it, they are very young and still vulnerable in a lot of ways. We have all heard the fact that the human brain doesn't stop developing until around age 25.

I think I added the large age gap rule because I want to prevent that from happening again. When I wrote that rule, I was not condemning people who participate in large age gap relationships, but I do think that these kinds of relationships can be toxic more often than not and that women especially should be wary of pursuing older men because there is definitely a power imbalance there. Of course, it is always a case-by-case basis, and some age gap relationships with a particularly young woman (never underage) are perfectly happy. It just depends, but for the most part, I think it is good advice to always be careful in those situations, just in case. Older men might not always have the best intentions, and sometimes they are downright creeps who like younger women for very sinister reasons.

And no worries, I don't see your message as an attack! I think it's fair to ask about that, and I want to be open about how I feel about writing for readers younger than 25 now. I know that I am 22, but the way I see it, there is a difference between me being 22 writing about a relationship with a much older man and being an actual 22 year old in a real relationship with a much older man. Plus, tbh, I never ever imagine my actual self in the place of the reader lol. I always imagine a different woman who is older than me (and also much prettier/cooler than me).

I don't hate that mini-series either, I just realized after I wrote it that it was kind of not the kind of relationship I want to write and that even when I was writing it I felt a little uncomfortable. I prefer to write Daryl with an older reader, or just an unspecified age (but always implied to be older than 25). That's just what I feel most comfortable with, and when I wrote Some Kind of Stranger, I was still new to writing and trying to figure out what I wanted to do, so I think of it as an experimental time. <3

[castlebyersafterdark]

I have a lot of silly thoughts that 🤐 but honestly the real fantasy is to hit the thrift w this weirdo. Please.

well this is why i love the a cruel summer with you au fic that was mentioned here a while ago, you said you had a gander but it wasnt for you and fair enough OBV, but i loved it cos later on car guy mike (sky blue mustang convertible, i mean PLEASE) drives a VERY sassy will to thrift store shopping not-date-that-is-definitely-a-date. it was tooo juicy (but not spicy enough iygm haha)

so yeh, please do share those zipped up thoughts cos COME ON thats what were in this realm of the 'dom for haha and i also wanna know how on earth we can find finn attractive in this green plaid shirt car guy state (i mean, i totally would but i wanna hear your thoughts about those pasty hairy legs lmao)

As I'm finally getting around to this one we've seen my anons have gotten BOLDER and I am LOVING it - but I am still keeping a line between what I unleash on the world vs. what I nonchalantly write about the fictional characters! I don't know what the line is until I approach it, but it's been interesting finding it! I don't think it's a surprise or a secret that I'm very attracted to these men and I do feel ok talking about that now - but maybe not in excruciating details hahaha.

But I mean, talking about his pasty hairy legs is pretty neutral haha. He's just! He's interesting. Because a lot of people very much find him super attractive for his unconventional looks, others think he's unappealing completely. I've always been into more unconventional beauty, been attracted to odd stuff about people. Noah's pretty classically attractive, for example, at least in my opinion. He's really hot! But in a different way than Finn is hot to me. Funny personal anecdote with 💙 because if I go too long without mentioning him I'll probably have an aneurysm. Anyway, he always laughs and calls me a weirdo when I tell him that his sideburns turn me on hahahaha. But I mean it! It's not a joke! I find odd things hot about guys 🤣

I have heard that car guy Mike is a big part of that fic and I'm super glad for it!! And aww, thrift store shopping date? I love that in general and for them. I really do appreciate the fic existing because that's admirable to write that much and the writing that I did read was very good - I just think it's still a skip for now, because the word count is massive and with it not being quite what I'm after, I don't think I'd dedicate the time at this point. Maybe one day. And the lack of spice isn't entirely a deal breaker for fic with me, because I read all levels from G to E in this fandom and I've loves stuff from the full rating spectrum. It just depends. I just wish everyone was normal about the existence and other's enjoyment of all of those levels.

[theparadiseproject]

Trying to get all esoteric like 'well what is a feminist?" He did believe women should vote and was connected to suffragettes and other women empowerment movements that were also NOT called feminist so he obviously would support this entirely different movement that got popular decades later. You can totally say a dead person believes in things he never heard.

He was also a normal guy that believed plenty of ideas that would be at odds with most, if not all, of this movement he was not around to learn about and disagree with but that's not important, in fact, all those opinions and things he supported that go against the movements, especially MY specific variation of this movement, should be erased because he was "wrong" about it being the way to achieve the politics he never gave an inkling of belief that he'd support. In fact all his own interests and what not that were integral to the character are bad and not inline with my specific politics, that he would not only also seemingly develop but even if he didn't he should have, so we should get rid of everything this character about except this aforementioned specific part that was clearly just general progressive and purposefully outlandish, overstated character goals for support for women rights and empowerment that again only exist per a suggestion for people in his life that he cared about and it should be warped into being about my niche political ideology and everything,

Oh she was just meant to be an average representation of an attractive career woman with very specific thematic goals and imagery that are unique to her character and an outlet for her creators interests like most fiction is? no that cant be.

She was meant to just be an average career woman who had mostly progressive american politics surrounded around women doing well in the work force, workers right, democracy, free speech, anti totalitarianism, etc. that was typical for other comic characters at the time? No she's definitely a radical feminist that was meant to represent this entire movement.

She was meant to just be white american woman with a nice figure that appealed to an american audience and modeled after one of her creators lovers that in any other instance I would bring up to boast about how pro my side she is and meant to be a very specific reinvention of a ancient greek myth to fit in the outlandish sci fi world of pulp fiction? No she was actual meant to be a greek woman with bulging muscles and as tall as a tall man that represets the Amazons of myth not whatever her creator made up besides that woman empowerment part that I like because she is a feminist.

She was made to be a normal superhero with a secret id and a love interest and friends and supporting cast? No she is a warrior that does not have a love interest, unless they give her a girlfriend because she cant date men. Her supporting cast is actually these group of characters made for outside comic groups that dont fit her at all and this specific abominable version of the Amazons that are just like the myths but they are feminists now.

What Im not a fan of her? No I am a fan of her, her creator was just too stupid to write her correctly. I know better than him actually, but I'm such a fan of him because he was so quirky but only in a novelty way because he was a perverted weirdo who didn't know how to write a character that represented my specific political interests that he clearly was trying to do decades before they were even made.

No a regular progressive female character is too much to believe in. She cant be that. Just modernizing her for some modern sensibilities that are reflective of the original idea is not enough she needs to represent the most niche of my political movement and look like the most statistically implausible woman to ever exist. No I would never have these expectations of a similar character despite them all somehow being less developed than Wonder Woman was when there creators were around. No I don't think her creators deeply held interest and ideas are integral to the character. Yes obviously she should be about all this stuff I like instead but its because he would have obviously supported it and all the other stuff that goes against what I believe is a mistake he made because he was an evil pervert.

I would never make a new character or attempt to advocate to have characters support my niche politics and interests instead. Its much better and more ethical for me to just take this character that this man made and attempted to protect until he was on his death bed and change it to fit my interest and advocate against anything that would have her be written as intended. Yes I am against corporations perverting art and believe we should respect human work and creation but this time is different because I have a political agenda. So all the good will and fame and the name this man created should be something I get to use to push my own personal politics and desires. No I will not try to make my own art or advocate for other artist to create things I'm interested in instead.

This very progressive character dared to be a bunch of identities that I deem problematic and is only progressive. She should instead be this completely different race of people instead that would still have nothing to do with the US identarian racial political dynamics im applying to the character. She should also represent all these super niche demographics because women are never represented in this most extremely fathomable body types for a woman because the "patriarchy" and not because the likelihood of woman even being this extremely tall with this amount of muscle is just completely unheard of even among the most athletic groups of women on earth.

I do support corporations disrespecting art and artistic integrity and everything the creator put his blood, sweat, and tears in, if it means I get what i want but thats because my politics are right and he was an evil pervert but so quirky i love him for creating this character that I do not like at all in anyway. Yes I should be prioritized over her actual fans and yes you are being unreasonable for finding me unreasonable and extreme and offputting.

[monstermaster13]

TftW: Don’t Call Me Freak

Sometimes it doesn’t pay to bully those who are weird or are different from you, and today’s villainous protagonist certainly will learn that lesson. Stephanie Hadingham was a former school rival of Nathan’s, she was a manipulative and controlling diva who wanted things her way and when she didn’t get that, she berated and berated until she did.

She never believed anything Nathan said and viewed him as a freak just because he wrote transformation fiction about Dan Aykroyd or rather about being him, of course she didn’t know that it was a bad idea to do that. ‘Nathan is targeting me on my account just because I liked one post that says that people that believe in the supernatural are freaks. It staggers me that this person is a huge part of the Aykroyd fandom and he ruins it with his

“Nate are you going to stand for this?”

“Of course not, time to take out this trash.”

Nathan rolled his eyes…’I’m not even the main part of the fandom, dummy.’ ‘But you are ignoring the part about attacking me based on a post I liked.’ ‘Does that even matter? Why do you even hate me anyway? It seems all you ever do is whine about how i’m fetishizing John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd by wanting to be them.’

“Which you do, you do that…’

‘Oh…I suppose you think that your trashy taste in men justifies your reason for attacking me, then?’ ‘But you seriously do some not normal insane things, you fetishize poor Dan and John by fetishizing them and writing about them in a way that sounds like porn.’

“Really? I should be so lucky if I get that good.”

“Are you even listening to me?”

“No, I figured that if you are going to keep on like this..”

‘You what? Are you going to fetishize me like you did to two very real people? Because don’t act like you don’t that, I have been raised on Deviantart and all the weird fandoms, you so want to be them and it is totally gross and shit. Do you think Dan would like this if you met him IRL? Uh no, he’d think you’re a creepy and not normal, fans don’t do what you do, not normal, freako, freako, eeew!’ ‘Really? What? Haven’t you ever seen the Changed, FNF, Madness Combat, or Guilty Gear fanbase? Those guys are pretty fucked up, even worse than I ever could be.’

“So…that doesn’t matter, what you do isn’t right.”

‘You think you can speak for what Dan likes and doesn’t like? That’s cute, he’s not yours, you cannot make him do whatever you want, that’s something I establish in my work, I don’t claim I am him, or that I can control him. Also…the man is a weirdness magnet, he slept with a ghost once, he had dreams about mutant babies, he has seen actual aliens and ghosts, i’m sure one little story wouldn’t be enough to weird him out.’

“What? How dare you…”

‘How dare I..what, question you, yeah i’m questioning you. Trust me, you need help more than I do.’ ‘But you don’t belong in the Aykroyd fandom. You’re not normal.’ ‘Well you’re a freak yourself, nobody is normal, nobody knows what normal is. In this world if you cannot put up with the strange and unusual, you’ll just have to change to fit it.’

“What does that mean?”

“You’ll find out soon enough.”

Nathan’s eyes gave off an ominous glow as he chanted, his chants began to echo in Stephanie’s ears, which made her squirm a little. ‘How are you doing that?’ ‘I have actual supernatural powers, don’t you remember?’ ‘Uhhhh…’ ‘Of course you do. But be glad that i’m not as horrifying as what is about to happen to you.’

Stephanie attempted to get answers out of him but he disappeared before she could, only to run into a rather nasty surprise an hour later. An hour later while waiting for her boyfriend to call her, she found herself entering what appeared to be some kind of combined asylum and therapy building.

Looking around she could see a koala-girl doctor with green hair…’Hello, Stephanie. You must be my next patient, I am Doctor Eucalyptus. Now my friend tells me there is something wrong with you.’ ‘There’s nothing wrong with me, i’m a normal person.’ ‘Not from what Nathan has told me, Nathan says you were bigoted to him for being an Aykroyd fan that is different than normal fans. He also told me you think that supernatural beings are freaks.’ ‘Well they are.’

Eucalyptus hit Stephanie with her notepad…’What was that for?’ ‘Trust me, just be glad I don’t have any weapons with me. Now there is a term for what you have, what you have is Extreme Hypocrite Disorder.’ ‘I don’t have any disorders.’ ‘Oh yes you do and you are in denial of it.’ ‘Stop this..’ ‘I won’t stop this just because you told me to, I am the doctor here and unless you want me to use your internal organs to make lunch meat for the asylum’s cafeteria, you better listen to me.’

“I must be dreaming.”

‘You are not dreaming…you’re delusional. Here, let me show some of the other patients.’ The koala-girl showed Stephanie down a hall-way of patients she had encountered before. One patient was a male who thought they were Martin Short despite not being them, and one thought that they were a reincarnated god.

“I’m not like these people.”

“Oh yes, you are.”

‘I don’t belong here…’ ‘Oh but you do, let me help you, help you to get rid of that disorder you have.’ ‘This is going to get horrifying isn’t it?’ ‘It doesn’t have to.’

She attempted to try and make a run for it only to run into a couple of members of the hospital staff, the staff in this case all being Dan Aykroyd characters. ‘Aykroyds? So many Aykroyds.’ ‘Oh yes, they’re all ours..and I treat them better than you treated Dan to be honest.’

The Aykroyd characters saw Stephanie and began to chase her around the hospital, Dr Eucalyptus smirked as she saw what was happening. ‘Now now, don’t run away from these guys, they only want to help you, and so do I. You act like you don’t want this but yet you do, sounds like you’re jealous.’ ‘Jealous of what? You? You’re a freak, just like all of these people.’

“I may be a freak but I am trying to help you.”

“I don’t want your help, I want out of here!”

She screamed and then tried to pull out her phone, as she pulled out her phone she made a call to her boyfriend. ‘Thomas, baby doll..could you come here and get me out of this hell hole please? I am begging you, please come and save me.’ Unfortunately for her the message she got was…’Thomas cannot reply to your message because he is currently unavailable.’

Stephanie screamed when she saw Thomas with a nasty looking gash on his neck, looking like someone had just slit his neck as he collapsed on the floor and blood dripped down from it. ‘My boyfriend!’ ‘He is doing just fine.’ ‘No he’s not, someone must have killed him.;’

Dr Eucalyptus chuckled, watching as she attempted to get away. ‘I need to find a way out of here.’ She tried to pull the fire alarm level only to get covered in blood, and it was real blood, not special effects.

A couple of patients popped up from behind her and she attempted to convince them to follow her. ‘Come on, let’s get out of here.’ ‘Why? We belong here and so do you. We work here too.’ ‘What? But you’re supposed to be like my mutuals.’ ‘Join us, it’s not so bad.’

She screamed several times as the patients swarmed around her, she attempted to hit one of them with a chair only for Eucalyptus to intervene, she chuckled and smirked. ‘I didn’t think it had to come to this but it’s for your own good, since you won’t let me help you, i’m going to have to fix you myself.’ ‘Fix me?’

“Oh yes, you are very broken, and you need to be fixed.”

“No I don’t.”

Eucalyptus chuckled as she floated over to Stephanie….’Now now, it won’t hurt, at least not in the way that it will mentally scar you or anything, don’t be afraid.’ ‘Why shouldn’t I be?’ Her eyes gave off a supernatural glow as she turned into a tall demonic version of herself with a tail like the one scorpions have complete with a stinger.

She hit Stefanie with her scorpion-like tail, knocking her out before dragging her down-stairs into the lab, with the Aykroyd characters following her. Tom Everett, Austin Milbarge ,Elwood, and Grocer were helping her. ‘You’ve brought us another subject for the experimentation process.’ ‘Indeed I have, boys. Boys, meet Stephanie. She has Extreme Hypocrite Disorder and needs to be fixed.’

“We can do that.”

“As can I…I figured since this one loves Dan so much, how about she becomes him?”

“Oooh, that is such a clever idea.”

The koala-girl placed Stephanie on a table and turned on a machine of sorts which binded her in place, she chanted as dark supernatural energy entered her body, Stephanie squirmed and tried to break free but before she could, invisible needles were jammed into her arm, which caused her to yelp in pain.

She then saw what appeared to be brown hairs growing on her arms, as her arms broadened, the hairs were on her hands too as her hands enlarged and her skin matured, a ring popped off one of her fingers and shattered on the floor as she screamed. ‘What’s going on? My ring…my boyfriend got me that one as a gift.’ ‘Oh you won’t be needing that at all.’

“What?”

The changes spread through her body as a couple buttons on her top popped off while her chest and torso broadened, her breasts retracted into the former as hair grew on her chest and stomach. ‘Aaaw no, not my figure, how am I going to be attractive to my mutuals, if I don’t have my figure?’ She groaned as her stomach broadened and her hips retracted in size, as her privates altered into the more masculine variant.

There were a couple of crunching sounds as her back and shoulders broadened and she slowly grew in height to 6’1, her neckline altered while her hair darkened a little in color and shortened, as her shoes burst open while her feet enlarged, two of the toes sticking together and giving her the appearance of having webbed toes. She felt her face as it altered, her forehead growing a bit as her brow altered and her eyebrows thickened, her left eye turning from blue-ish to greenish while the other turned brown, giving her heterochromia. ‘I’m a monster…’ ‘Why yes, you are. You are indeed a monster but you’re getting better.’

She groaned as her nose broadened and developed a cleft in the middle of it, she felt her rear plumping up a little…’Oh yes, the sexiest part of turning, Eukie definitely thinks so too.’ Of course she didn’t need a mirror to see that she was turning into Dan as her features morphed into an identical copy of his and her voice altered, deepening and contorting, developing Dan’s signature voice and tone.

“There we go, it’s a success.”

“What have you done to me?”

“Well since you love Dan Aykroyd so much, we’ve turned you into him.”

‘You monster, this isn’t fair, turn me back or else.’ ‘Or else what? You’re going to talk about it to your friends, calling me insane?’ Eucalyptus sneered. ‘I am seriously going to do that.’ ‘Nobody is going to believe you, not your friends, not your family, no one.’

“But…”

“Why would they believe someone who they don’t even know?”

Stephanie attempted to berate Eucalyptus for what she had done only for Eucalyptus to chuckle. ‘Aaaaw i’m sorry, but I cannot take your empty threats seriously when you look and sound like Dan. You just sound so cute when you try to be tough.’ ‘What?’ ‘Oh yes, come here you, Dr Eucalyptus has special huggle treatments just for you.’

A sinister smile crept across Eucalyptus’s face as she got closer and closer to Stephanie before stretching her arms to inhumanly long lengths and pulling her or ‘him’ in this case in for a hug. ‘There there, it’s okay, I know this sounds like i’m torturing you but I am doing this to help you, and clearly that old persona of yours was way too annoying and stubborn. So I fixed that a little too.’

“What do you mean by that?”

Stephanie pondered what the koala-girl meant by that but as she or ‘he’ did, she realized that she partially had been given half of Dan Aykroyd���s personality and mannerisms. ‘That’s what I meant by fixing you, you are much nicer like this.’ She was still herself but now she was a lot nicer and she realized what she had done was a mistake. ‘I am sorry I acted the way I did.’ ‘There there, you’re all better now. But there’s two more people you have to apologize to.’

Just then Nathan appeared next to someone who appeared to be another doctor, but the doctor pulled at his face like it were a mask and revealed himself to be the actual Dan Aykroyd underneath. ‘Danny?’ ‘Yes, Stephanie..I heard about what you said. I appreciate that you were thinking of me and all but you were very selfish with me,I am not yours to be controlled, nothing and no one can control me, physical, spectral or otherwise.’ ‘I realize that I have been selfish. Sorry Dan, I should have let others have you too because sharing is caring.’ ‘And what about me?’ ‘Oh alright Nate, I am sorry for insulting your tastes and your stories, I realize now that some people actually do enjoy these sort of stories and that is perfectly fine.’

“There you go, all is better now.”

“Thanks.”

Stephanie/Dan left the hospital and she/he left a much better person as Doctor Eucalyptus smiled. ‘Ah, another happy patient. I love my job.’ She hummed to herself as she went to go and check on another patient. ‘You did a good job Dr Eukie.’ ‘Thanks.’

After she went back to check on another patient, the scene cut to a Tales From The Crypt style bookend of Dan Aykroyd as a horror host. ‘Well then, did you all enjoy this story? I did. Nathan certainly got what he wanted in the end, poor Thomas finally got to know how it felt to be a real pain in the neck but at least he got to appear in the final CUT.’

Dan laughed at his own horror related pun as he held up Thomas’s head…’And also I really got to HAND it to Doctor Eucalyptus for her absolutely top tier treatment of her patients.’ He picked up a severed hand and waved it around for a little bit. ‘You will be happy to know that I have picked Stephanie to be my substitute whenever i’m unavailable, and she does a bang up job, nobody even knows she used to be female. That’s Dr Eucalyptus for you, a true miracle worker. She no longer has anything wrong with her attitude or her head…I think you’ll find she prefers this as opposed to how she used to be, and she learned her lesson. Remember, be careful how you simp. Because some of your mutuals may not agree with you, in fact that you’ll find that the only thing they mutually agree on is that they want you dead, or just to have your head on a plate in general. But don’t worry, she gets to keep hers. Oh don’t you just love it when someone gives you head and lets you keep it?’

He did a Cryptkeeper-esque laugh as he looked over at his table of heads in jars including the dad from The Suicide Shop, the Rankin Bass version of Dracula, the Child Catcher, and Ed Grimley and even one of Martin Short in general. ‘For now we can relax, but there are more stories to come, and of course with more stories come more ways to bring the scares and to teach a lesson they won’t so forget. So I hope you’ll come visit again next time for another special bedtime scarytale, of corpse I will always be here to tell them.’

Doctor Eucalyptus laughed…’I love your horror related puns, Dan.’ ‘Thanks Eukie, and thanks for letting me be the host for this end segment, you really do an amazing job.’ ‘Coming from you Dan, it means a lot.’

Dan turned to give one more speech…’Remember, simping over a famous person or character is alright, just don’t be too rabid about it because there can be dire consequences to your actions, and also remember it never pays to be a hypocrite, if you attack others, expect them to do the same to you…and leave you in…pieces. And look, here are some pieces of someone now. Any parting words? I didn’t think so. Then again, kind of hard to keep your head straight when you’re all in pieces anyway. But nevermind, hope tonight’s story provided you with some real top tier screams. Good night, and don’t let the monsters bite, or rather do…because they might find that you taste good!’

“Oh absolutely.”

‘And one more thing, be careful about who you call a freak in middle ghoul, for they might turn out to be the one that leads you to your undoing and of course, you probably won’t even have a leg to stand on, at least not anymore you won’t.’ He gave one more Cryptkeeper-esque laugh as his bit ended and thus so does our story in general. Remember, simping over a famous person or character is alright, just don’t be too rabid about it because there can be dire consequences to your actions, and also remember it never pays to be a hypocrite, if you attack others, expect them to do the same to you…and leave you in…pieces.

Not everyone has to conform to what is normal, fandoms in general tend to always have a crazy one in the bunch, and if there isn’t one, chances are, you are that one, but don’t worry I am sure Eucalyptus and Dan both know where you can get a head check. You’ll come in as you were, but will come out a totally reformed person. If not, you’ll be a total different person in general when you come out.

Kinkshaming others for their specific quirks can definitely lead to dire and horrifying consequences, so be careful what you say, or you might yourself in your very own scarytale with an ending that is definitely twisted in so many ways.

[howaboutcastiel-personal]

I am supposed to be writing right now

and...technically I am, just not the right thing. I should be working on the next chapter of Fire Within My Soul or planning the next Make Your Acquaintance installment or word-vomiting Mandalorian porn onto a Google Docs document, but I don't feel like doing any of those. I think that my brain is good and properly broken for today, so I'm just going to use my word-spraying energy to write on here, because I had therapy today anyway and journaling is good practice.

I cried in therapy today, which is something I have done a total of three times since I began therapy. That is to say, over the last 9 or so years with about 7 or 8 therapists. It doesn't happen often. I fucking cried about Bill and Frank, if you could believe it. Actually, more accurately, I cried over Joel's fucking reaction (or lack thereof) to Frank and Bill's partnership. I don't even think that's what the show was going for, I think they were focusing more on the fact that Joel isn't able to call Tess his partner. Either way, the prospect of straight men being indifferent to or (god forbid) supportive of queer men??? That is just a fucking wild ass concept. Obviously, I am not a queer man. I am... something else, and I have a whole slew of internalized misogyny that I don't think I will ever remedy, but it still hit me personally. Because I just don't know any good men. I just fucking don't. Definitely not the ones in my family, except for Poppy but he's got dementia and he's also a fundamentalist Christian. None of my school teachers, that I can recall, were good men, though the ones here at school seem decent (actually, just Bitzer. Something is Wrong with Feeney's view of the world). None of the ones at church. I don't even have to explain that part. Jesus Christ. Except actual Jesus Christ was a better man than all of them by many, many metrics.

That's one of the things that upsets me about both Oscar and Pedro. Like, they genuinely seem like good men from the image they choose to display of themselves. They're genuine allies, they reject toxic masculinity, and they just seem like... good fucking guys? And they also happen to be attractive. People on the internet tend to say that you're a lesbian if the only men you're attracted to are through parasocial relationships--or just straight-up fictional men. But I think the genuine issue here is not that I'm gay, it's that the men around me just fucking suck. They genuinely suck. To be fair though, many of the people around me, regardless of gender, fucking suck. I think COVID permanently ruined all of us, as well as our ability to empathize and just all-around be normal fucking humans. I know I hold myself to an impossible standard, but I've started holding everyone else to that same standard, and now I just hate everyone.

Oops.

Anyway, Dr. Randall wants me to focus on the idea of fulfillment. What is fulfillment to me? What does it mean to "be Jonah" successfully? Well, let's start with the physicality of it all. I want to be skinnier and also much more toned and strong and beefy. Don't get me wrong, I am fully aware that being beefy means gaining weight and muscle mass, but I have a lot (a lot) of excess fat I can lose, so it would still be a significant size difference. I want to have strong, thick arms and a toned chest. I want to have a stomach that doesn't stick out past my boobs (which for me is absolutely doable, have you fucking seen my tits?). I want to have an ass and thighs that are toned and strong, not just "thick." I want all of those things so that I don't look like fucking Spongebob when I try to dress masculine.

That's the thing. I look good in feminine clothes, but I don't fucking want to. I don't want to have to be exclusively feminine to be socially acceptable. I want the kind of female body that is allowed to be masculine, so I look like a powerful woman instead of a blue-haired liberal when I dress how I want. And I know how that sounds. I just want to be that way, I'm not commenting on anyone else's style.

I want to be able to try new things, and I want to be able to come home from work at 5 PM and be okay with just cooking dinner, washing dishes, showering, and going to bed. I want to be able to allow myself to have leisure time, and to be un-depressed enough that leisure time actually means something to me.

I also want companionship. I'm starting to think I want a true partner, platonic and romantic and sexual, but honestly I'm so desperate for genuine affection that any kind of companionship will do. With a decent person, that is. I get plenty of attention now, but from people who I only surround myself with because my options are slim. I don't know what I need to do to find such companionship, because I do NOT want to use a dating app, but I just... want it. I want a best friend. I want someone to hold, and someone who will hold me. It can't be that much to ask, and I guess that it isn't. My issue is just that, because someone is a decent person, doesn't mean they're an attractive person to me. Even if I'm not aroace, I'm still grey-aro and grey-ace, and that makes this shit all the more difficult.

Anyway, it is now 4:49 and I need to leave work soon. My thighs hurt from squatting to stock bookshelves and going up and down stairs so much today and yesterday. The good news is I'm not in unbearable physical pain and shitting my brains out today. The worst thing I'm really experiencing is a headache, which I think is from all of the straining to not throw up that I did yesterday.

Anyway... have a much-too-long journal entry from a person who becomes more and more visibly autistic every single day. I do not know how to feel or express my emotions anymore, and I operate almost like a complete robot. I don't want to kill myself right now though, so I'm vibing. The numbness is much less painful than the alternative.