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moonlightstars16 · 4 years

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Chapter 13 ~ Two Doors Open, One Shut

AN: Hey so I know I put out a schedule not too long ago. However I’m loosing inspiration(s) for this story and yes I will finish it. But I might just do it when I can. I’ll try to stick to the schedule.

The rain from the outside continue to pour down. Tapping the 'glass' on the window. The time was about midnight, as the clock struck and chimes echoed all over the place. The fireplace was barely holding onto it's light; as the tiny sounds of cracking wood revealed the small ember inside. However the candelabra's illuminated the area where two people were sitting near the warmth of the fire. Smiling and well deep into a good book.

Steven found himself clinging to Connie's every word. Not just because the story was well written, but for the gentle voice that spoke the words. It was unique to say the least. Being soft one minute and the next doing a crazy tone for every character. He found it to be quite enjoyable. Which was odd because he hadn't found any interest of stories being told to him like this before. At least not in many years.

"And this concludes chapter five." Connie spoke putting a bookmark on the page and closing it as a yawn escaped her lips.

"So we are stopping there?"

"Oh? Does his highness want more?" Her teasing tone made him roll his eyes.

"Well things did end when it was just getting good. Everything seemed so dull at first."

"A good build up and backstory is perfect for any story and it's characters!" She scoffed putting the book back on the small table beside her.

"Not if it takes three of those chapters to get there."

"With certain books I agree. But this sets everything up so well and leaves even more details in mystery! Besides I like the friendship between our two main leads. But it takes time for them to get there."

They both sighed out in exasperation. Obviously neither of them will agree fully to one side. But that didn't matter much in the grand scheme of things. Connie was proud of him for at least giving this a chance. Though she doubted her own vision and thought it to be an hallucination, she saw the twinkle in his eyes. Something she only ever seen only once before.

"You're smiling?"

"Oh" Lifting up her hand she braised passed her lips and cheek. Sure enough they were pointed upwards, exactly like a smile. "I suppose I am."

"Am I to suppose you've find it pleasurable reading out loud to me?" A malicious look in his eyes (playfully so).

"I-...I wouldn't say pleasurable... I guess I would say...perhaps it was...nice. Yes it was very nice to do something like this."

" 'Nice', hm... Well I shall take that as a compliment. After all you wanted me here to see if this helps me reconnect to my humanity. Or is it because you actually like spending time with me?"

"You know it might be both." The words slipped so casually in the conversation that she covered her mouth quickly while looking away. This wasn't going to pass by him so easily. Her words took him aback as silence fell while he registered the meaning. A smirk appeared across his face as he took the opportunity to tease her so.

"Do my ears deceive me? Or that's your way of telling me you like me."

"That's not what I meant-"

"Oh that's not what I heard. Plus you also stated that our time together was nice. Am I wrong?"

"No, but I...ugh!" She buried her face in her hands as a roaring fit of laughter emerged from within briefly before fading away.

"Oh Connie what am I going to do with you?" Standing up he extended his hand with hers. Waiting as she slowly accepted it. Feeling something inside her stir as her hand touched his. Though separated by a piece of leather fabric, the warmth from inside radiated off him. With a pull, slightly more forceful than normal, he pulled her up as she stepped closer to him to keep her steady. The boots she wore almost tripped her up. The mid-sized skirt tied to her by a corset and off the shoulder blouse, swayed gently in the brisk breeze that appeared when she stood up.

His eyes found hers as he looked into the beautiful doe-like eyes. One of her most unique features to her beauty. The tiny locks framed her face so elegantly. Even if to some it was all messed up and not so neat. His hand still clinging to her own as they did nothing else but gaze into one another's eyes.

The loud crack from the logs in the fireplace snapped them out of it. Both clearing their throats, hands still intertwined as he began to walk away, leading her out the door. Her pace matched his to the point they were side by side as they stepped through the hallways and up staircase's to her room.

"I shall expect you with Pearl tomorrow morning. Since you need all the information you can get." Connie nodded her head, slipping her hand away from his and opening the door and stepping inside. Pausing to turn back around as her curious nature took hold. Well more needing confirmation as of late.

"How long till the project is underway?"

"Only nine months."

"I-....I never realized how long it's been...only three months since I-...." Sighing, her hand slid slightly down the edge of the door.

"Humanity will survive... Rest well Connie." With that he turned away, returning to his own chambers as she watched him walk down the hall and disappear. The sincere gentle tone she heard filled her with warmth inside. Closing the door she leaned her back against it. Placing one hand over her middle and the other right above her heart. Closing her eyes as she breathed in and out.

"You too Steven."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The castle's midnight screeching came from one hidden area deep down below. The sound echoed through the walls just barely. It was similar to a ghost and so the residence inside dubbed these hours, the haunting. At least those who understood the concept of souls and spirits. Connie was laying in bed when it began, her thoughts of the previous few hours invaded her mind. The ghostly wales brought her back to the present moment. Glancing out the window she caught a glimpse of the Zoo. Briefly wondering if the sound originated from there. However the noises faded and she slipped back into her dreams.

Steven was sitting by the fireplace with his hands folded. Ignoring the world around him other than the flames that seemed to dance in his presence. He too thought about the hours prior with her. How natural it all came to be. The comfort of just being around her and the satisfaction of listening to the story she spoke out loud. Not realizing it, a smile graced his lips as a longing gaze began to form.

'See? What did I tell you.'

'She only read a book.'

'And you listened to her every word'

'It was a good story.'

'Then why is your heart pounding every time you think of her or the mention of the name...Connie?"

'I-....'

His other half was right. Clutching his chest he felt it. The pounding of his heart. A look of realization about what was happening took over. Eyes widened as his hand went to his mask and gulped. It was hopeless to dream of such things like this.

'Keep allowing her to be in your heart. You'll see-'

'Shut-up'

Steven told her before about who he truly was. She has seen it himself...

'Why is she willing to help me? Why hasn't she given up yet?'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Another slash across the skin. Another scream. Another victim. Topaz had brought a new human from the zoo into the torture chamber. Ruby held the scared and confused specimen down while Aquamarine used a syringe full of sedatives to paralyze the next test subject. Getting annoyed by how much it squirmed as it seemed to her eyes Ruby wasn't doing the job very well. Finally after she hit the human's head with her wand and they stopped resisting, finally able to inject the elixir of sorts into the blood stream.

"Okay, let's inform Spinel that this one is ready for the torment."

"What does this sedative do?" Ruby asked chaining up the human by the wrists and ankles. Aquamarine looked into the empty syringe which held just a drop of it's contents from before.

"It's suppose to be all that we've tried so far."

"You mean immobility, unable to speak, and the memory loss?"

"Precisely, however the heightened senses of feeling pain is new. If this is a success, then everything will soon be ready for our final phase in the plan."

"Well we certainly won't know until I give this a test run." Spinel walked into the dimly lit cell from the shadows. A cloak wrapped around her shoulders, inside her whip, a sharp blade, even darts just for fun. Behind her was a dozen more cells filled with other test subjects. Some in 'better' shape than others, some worse.

She needed to find the perfect torture technique. One that will make a certain hybrid very impressed. Enough to have him draw blood on his own volition. To have him become the beast he was before. Unleashing all his destructive powers. Only she would have complete control over him. They would rule together and soon she would be the only one holding all the power in her hands. He needed to only be reminded of what he is.

A monster.

"Leave me." Spinel commanded pointing towards the cell door. Both gems complied without hesitation. Turning her attention back on her victim as she shut her eyes and laughed inwardly. Shoulders moving slightly as she took off her cloak. Pulling out the small dagger with one hand, the other with a whip. Advancing towards the human with it's back turned to herself. Slipping the sharp metal between the back and the belt. With a flick of her wrist she snapped it apart.

The blue vest now hanging open enough for her to lift it up with the blade. Tearing it apart from the body. Only the white cloth pieces remain. That she left alone, for blood that was so contrasting in color would surely grasp the attention. Her eyes narrowed at the sight of the bare skin. So smooth with veins protruding from underneath. Tempting her with the promise of blood just a deep scratch away. Her vision became clouded with the promise of blood. Her eyes narrowing as she licked her lips.

It began centuries ago. Pink became Rose Quartz. The Diamonds had dismissed her entirely about earth an it's beauty. White 'punished' her by manipulating the form Pink held against her and began to cause her pain. The cries from it all rivaled Blue's power as she begged and pleaded for her to stop. Apologizing for her actions and formed back into a much submissive state.

Spinel had watched it all along with Pearl. Something inside her snapped as she tried to stop all this. However Peal held a firm grim on her, almost to the point where she could poof out of her form. Glancing up she saw the pain through her eyes she held. It was becoming more and more clearer that Pearl had deep, hidden feelings for Pink.

But to outsiders, they were blind to it all. Moment's like this made her ache in pain and anguish, wanting to help. Spinel knew that very well. However she knew that it had to be this way. She had to wait and watch. Not only for her survival, but for keeping Pink safe from any further torment.

Spinel watched in confusion as her Diamond cried out in pain. For the first time seeing her so weak, pitiful and defenseless. Whatever this was, she didn't like it coming from her. So when Pink bursted through the walls to meet them, having the appearance of Rose Quartz fully, she hugged her tight in her arms. They were best friends after all and nothing would change that. Rose smiled and gently embraced her with a hug in return.

A year after the rebellion and themselves hidden away on earth, Spinel felt the distance between her and Rose. From time to time they would 'play' together, but it felt more like a chore, a check on a list instead of something really meaningful. Spending less and less time together as Rose hung out with the human, Greg, more and more than herself or even Pearl.

One day while walking on the cliffs overlooking the sea, she found Pearl sitting on a small boulder, watching the sun set. She joined her without a word spoken. Both shared a similar feeling of being forgotten. Spinel glanced down and saw Pearl still holding onto the human brush Rose found long ago. Then into her eyes as she saw a certain wall forming around her. Closing off any emotions that she felt for Rose. Perhaps maybe entirely.

"She soon won't exist."

"What do you mean? You're not going to poof her are you?!"

"What- No! I would never Spinel! I meant-" A gasp escaped her suddenly, an expression of worry took over for just a brief moment. Regaining her calm and orderly composure she looked at her with a sympathy that almost looked fake. Almost. "She didn't tell you, didn't she?" Her tone more factual than a question.

"Pearl, what's going to happen with Rose?"

"Rose is...going to have a baby. I don't-... The best way I can describe it is that she will give up her physical form and pass her gem to her half human child."

"Half human?" Spinel looked down with a puzzling look before continuing. "That Greg Universe is involved somehow?" Anger rose within her voice.

"Yes"

"And you're just going to let this happen?!"

"It's what she wants. I...can't stand in the way of her happiness. According to human physiology since she has human organs and such formed within, she has about six more months-"

"I can't believe this!" With that she ran off to find her. Ignoring Pearl calling out her name. Anger rose inside her. If she had any blood, it would be boiling by now. Tears mixed with hatred, sadness and frustration overflowed her. Something inside her was changing and she didn't even do anything to stop it. 'She told Pearl and not me... She made her choice without consulting me?! Her best friend?! I thought... I thought we had a chance to reconnect....'

Finding the temple she broke through the door. Not even bothering to notice that Garnet and Amethyst were around. With her gem she opened up the door to her room and rushed inside. Finding Rose's room in an instant with her sitting on the clouds. Hands over her pronounced mid section right above her gem and sighed.

"How could you?!" Rose turned immediately to see an upset gem with tears over her cheeks. Eyes widening in realization as a pained expression appeared on her face. Walking forward she knelt down and sighed.

"I'm so sorry Spinel. I didn't mean to keep any of this secret from you. But it is my fault I didn't tell you sooner." No matter how angry she felt, all her emotions poured out ash she wrapped her noodle-like arms around her giant friend and cried into her shoulder. Feeling Her hand upon her back as she soothed with her with a soft lullaby. One that she had sung to her whenever the day wasn't so fun. And today of all days was one of them. Whatever was inside of Spinel, calmed down....for the time.

Hours had passed and they talked about everything that was going to happen. How things were going to change but her love for them all will remain. So when the day finally had come, she sang the lullaby to her one more time. Easing her into the next chapter of their story. With a soft 'I love you' the bright light came into the room and faded into a baby's cry.

Spinel soon had a new best friend to play with and talk too. Someone she could be herself with. They soon became the best of friends, watching over each other, being almost joined at the hip together. Sometimes, Spinel found herself wondering if this was someone knew or just Rose reformed. whatever the case she felt happy.

Until ten years had passed when everything changed once more. It all seemed like a blur to her memory. The ships blocking the clouds view, a burst of light as they all poofed away. Waking up she found herself in a holding cell. A large Jasper guard stood in place. Watching them all as they reformed one by one. Moments later, even before she could say anything to them, a huge blue hand picked her up away from them all.

The Diamonds gave her the ultimate punishment as they threw her into a zoo. A human zoo. One they had created ever since the gem war in hopes that Pink would return to them. Now a symbol of what her rebellion had created. Seeing that Pink was now the half human boy, they thought it would be best to separate them for awhile. The others were held in a cell. Greg was also with Spinel in the zoo like herself, trapped. Pearl was put in a solitary confinement for Pearls like herself. To reform and be 'better' Pearl servants than before.

Spinel wondered why she was put here with the other humans. But her wondering didn't last long as a few saw her as an instant threat. Acting like animals while others stayed hidden away from her. They feared and hated her for being a gem. Greg tried his best to help keep her safe, but even he suffered greatly at the loss of his son taken away from him. The promise he made Rose was broken. Spinel hid away from it all. Only finding tree's to conceal herself and the branches to use a a defense.

It was brutal. Whenever they found her, they would beat her to the point of poofing. Thankfully they were not intelligent enough to know that shattering was murder. So she reformed over and over as they repeated the process. Spinel thought Steven would come to rescue her. To save them all like he did with Lapis from Jasper. But he never came.

The feeling of abandonment flowed through her once more. Anger rised inside her deeply, something was changing from within and she welcomed it with open arms. If Pink had only stayed like herself, she would've saved them all from this. She wouldn't have had them all captured and locked away. They could be hiding from the Diamonds if she didn't run away and give up existing. Her powers would've save them all, just like before. They could've lived happily ever after. But that didn't exist. Not anymore.

'It's her fault.... It's Her Fault.... IT'S HER FAULT!!!'

Her mind screamed over and over. Finally it was her snapping point. No longer wanting to hide, she began fighting the animalistic enemies within her prison walls. At one point, while fighting she stabbed a human in the shoulder with the sharp point of her branch. Watching as he fell over and began to reveal a red liquid trickling from the cut she made. Something about it unlocked a blood lust inside. It reminded her of the pain Pink went through, the cried of torment from the memory to the sounds she heard now became music to her ears.

With a laughter so maniacal and sadistic, she began to do more. Have more cuts, see them bleed. Listen to the sounds of pain and agony as she stabbed, hit and murdered every human in that fight. Soon the rest became even more fearful of her. Those who tried to poof her now, didn't get a chance to even breath their last word.

Upon seeing the bodies covered in blood she smiled and laughed and laughed louder and louder. A bright light overtook her as she transformed into her new form. A black dress with pointed shoulders and ripped up hems, black boots instead of clown shoes. Hair in an upwards, messy twin tails like horns. Her tears formed black lines like masquera on human women running down the cheeks. The heart -shaped gem, turned upside down as her eyes were more blood-red.

She soon began to kill just for the pure enjoyment. Nothing would stand in her way. Anyone trying to defy her would be long gone. However this wasn't the only thing she found fascination in. Hiding in secret for her next victim, she heard sounds of what seemed like a mixture of pain and pleasure. Finding the source, she peaked through the bushes and eyes went wide. The two humans were moving on top of each other. Their clothing pushed to the side as their lower halves connected in a way that was quite astounding.

Spinel only heard about this once from oh so long ago from Rose. Apparently what she did with Greg to make their child. However instead of getting angry from it, she decided to understand it more. The entire event stirred something within her. So she watched and listened. Gathering up all the information she could.

A year had passed and Spinel was growing tired of just watching and causing bloodshed and fear upon others. But what she never had imagined was being placed by Steven's side once more. It was a way for him to be 'tortured' to bring back Rose's form. During which she saw a beastly side of him she never could see before. It was a glorious site.

One she needed to see once more.

With one final gash to the human's side she pulled back with what appeared to be heavy breathing. Seeing that she went a bit to overboard and attacked so much that the spine was shown and the subject was dead. Shaking her head she dropped her weapons and stood up straighter.

Removing the blood from her form as she sang a simple lullaby and wrapped the cloak around her once more. A song she heard Steven compose one evening. One that stuck with her ever since she heard the haunting melody. Waking away from the cell as Jasper waited for her outside with her arms folded and back against the cold wall, like his demeanor. Spinel's voice echoing through the walls.

'Your eyes see but my shadow My heart is overflowing There's so much you could come to know You're content not knowing Tenderly You could see My soul'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was another successful day of the Zooman Rehabilitation project. Pearl decided to make an appearance this time around to help things really become more organized. It seemed a bit odd but intriguing to see Bismuth trying hard not to blush. Connie noticed her emotions instantly and smiled to herself about it.

Once all was said and done, Pearl went to go with Steven for a chat with Blue Diamond on the Diamond line. The others went back to their own duties. Connie placed a hand on Bismuth's shoulder with a smile and a whisper.

"Why don't you go talk to her?" Gesturing to Pearl the rainbow haired gem's blush became bigger and bigger.

"I-I don't-"

"Save it. I know what I saw. Why haven't you said anything to her?"

"It's not that easy Connie." Bismuth sighed before walking to a stack of books to put back on the shelves. "There are many times I could've said what I wanted to say. But I blew it. Now it's too late."

"What do you mean?" Connie asked grabbing a few books from the stack and helping her out.

"Long ago, before Steven was born, I saw Pearl going up to the cliffs above the ocean. Watching as she sat for what seemed like forever. In solitude. I knew she was thinking about Rose and her time spent with Greg. How distant she had become. I knew it broke her heart to have her relationship so apart in that moment." Connie remembered her training with Pearl when she asked about Steven. How she could stay at his side no matter what evil he done. The look of sorrow and rage from within as tears brimmed her eyes. She was still hurting from loosing Rose not just physically, but emotionally.

"What do you mean all the time's you could've said something?"

"Well one evening as the sun was setting, I was walking up the cliffs to talk to her and finally say something. But I heard her scream Spinel's name as the little gem ran right past me. Pearl reached out for her when she saw me walking in her direction. Awkwardly so I continued and sat by her. I asked her what had happened and she told me everything. I saw her holding an item that Rose gave her long ago. She was clutching to it so tightly, I knew I couldn't say what I was feeling. Not then especially."

"She hasn't let go, hasn't she?" Connie stated more like a fact than a question as Bismuth nodded.

"I did the best thing I could do. I just sat with her in silence. At least this way, she would know I'm here for her. That's the best thing I can do. Just be there whenever she needs a friend."

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bensroger · 6 years

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A Night to Remember - Ben Hardy! Roger Taylor

Summary: Based off of a Star is Born, Roger is captivated when he first lays eyes on Y/N, performing on the stage at open mic night. He takes a chance and asks out, and they end up spending the rest of the night together.

Word Count: 3278

Warnings: Just a little swearing

A/N: Sorry for the repost, tumblr is shit and it didn’t show up under the tags. This is only my second fic, and I didn’t proofread. It’s not exactly like A Star is Born but heavily inspired by it. Idk how I feel about it to be honest, I said smile/laugh sooo much. I tried to not make it super cliche, but I still hope you really like this! I still didn’t proofread so excuse any errors please!

He was exhausted of the flashy parties with girls crowding around him, each out-flirting the last. Roger couldn’t complain—he loved the parties and the endless line of girls, but he was just simply tired of loud and crazy parties. He only wanted a break for one night.

So while his band-mates went off to another party after their concert in Seattle, Roger decided to just go to a mellow, and quiet bar. Walking around the dim streets, he’d only find bars full of annoying college kids or full of people drowning their sorrows. He was about to head back to the hotel until he was drawn to a specific bar. A blue neon sign so bright that it hurt to look at, read “Blue Moon Bar,” and had flashes of stars around it. It was beyond freezing at this point, and nearly pouring rain, so Roger decided it’d be best to at least try this bar out. At least it had an intriguing name…

When he stepped in, it was dead silent, and everyone’s eyes were drawn to an older women singing on the stage. Great, he thought, It’s open mic night… Roger figured he could at least order a beer or two, maybe it’d actually be fun to see people fail at sing.

After a few good singers and definitely a lot of bad ones, there was only one singer left. The host, a young girl who herself sang terribly earlier, stepped on the stage to announce the last song. “And now, everyone’s favorite, our very own Y/N!” Roger almost laughed to himself thinking about how awful the other singers were… How good could this Y/N really be?

A girl with shining, curled, y/h/c hair stepped on the stage, standing out even though the lights were dim. She was wearing a slim fit, black dress, with white gloves that went above her elbows. Roger couldn’t lie, he was struck by her appearance… Nonetheless, he still believed her singing was going to be absolute shit.

“Well hello again Blue Moon Bar, I’m so glad to be here again.” Y/N smiled into the mic, her eyes full of excitement. “So I’ve sang this song before, but it was a long time ago. Now, I’m taking you back, but adding something new… I’ll be seeing this song in French!”

Roger took another sip of his beer and nearly rolled his eyes at this annoyingly cheery Y/N. The lights dimmed, and the music began playing. “Des yeux qui font baisser les miens…” She sang, her eyes closed, and intently focusing on the music. “Un rire qui se perd sur sa bouche” Her voice was amazing and angelic, and Roger’s jaw nearly hit the floor. He was awestruck…

She walked across the stage gracefully, continuing to sing smoothly. The crowd would cheer every time she’d wink or a blow a kiss. She’d often smile and nearly laugh, but still managed to sing perfectly. Roger smiled to himself, admiring the way she confidently carried herself on stage. She knew she was good. He turned around to face the bartender as she was still singing.

“So… Tell me more about this Y/N…” Roger said, sneaking in a glance at you.

The bartender glanced up from pouring glasses at Roger. “Well, as you can see she’s amazing at singing… Her name is Y/N Y/L/N. She always finishes up the night, we can never get enough of her.”

“Has she ever thought of pursuing a career in singing? Has she tried?”

“Not that I know of, we’ve all tried to get her too. She’s just scared I think, but we all know she’d go places. Instead, she just works at some restaurant across the street.”

Roger turned back around to look at you, and realized you had finished the song. “Thanks for coming everyone, I’ll see you next week.” You said with a small wave.

You smiled to yourself as you felt you had the best performance yet. You were honestly really worried about how you’d do with the French version of La Vie En Rose, with only taking three years of it in high school. You walked into the makeshift backstage area and all the other weekly singers ran up to hug you.

“Y/N, you did so good, I’m so proud!” Said Lizzie, the host of the open mic night. She sang earlier too. “It was all so perfect and angelic… The outfit, the song, your voice…”

You laughed. “Thanks Lizzie, but we both know it was just a good performance. I have room for improvement.” Lizzie rolled her eyes.

You changed out of your dress into something more comfortable, just jeans and a floral shirt, with white tennis shoes. “Honestly Liz, the cold weather is killing me, I can hardly—“ You were interrupted by a tap on your shoulder. You turned around to be met with the face of a blonde man you vaguely recognized. It wasn’t a bad face though, you thought to yourself, His face was actually pretty nice…

Before you could say anything he introduced himself. “Hey. I’m Roger.” He said, giving you a charming smile.

“Oh um I’m Y/N!” You said, with a hint of awkwardness. “I don’t mean to be rude, but should you really be back here? It’s just—“

“No worries, I asked someone if I could come back here. I wanted to know if you’d like to get out of here with me.” You were a little concerned about this Roger guy. You knew his face from somewhere… And he was just so forward…

“Well I have to work tomorrow and it’s already late—“ You began, but were cut off by a scoff from Lizzie.

“She’d love to go! Between you and me, she really need unwind.”

“Holy shit Lizzie you—“ You whispered to her, only to be cut off again, but this time by Roger.

“Great! We can leave whenever you’re ready.” He said, and then abruptly left the room.

“Liz what hell! You can’t just force me on dates with random guys!”

“God Y/N, sometimes you’re so thick… Do you know who he is?” She rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, he just introduced himself as Roger!”

“As in Roger Taylor, the drummer of Queen?”

You paused for a moment, thinking about it. You listened to Queen quite often, how did you not realize he was the drummer? You sighed to yourself, and pinched the bridge of your nose in frustration.

“Well what the fuck am I supposed to do now Liz? He’s part of an internationally known band, probably has dated so many girls better than me, and I’m just—“

She put a hand on you reassuringly, “Y/N, you’re gonna be fine.”

You took a deep breath and grabbed your jacket. “You’re right, I just need to get through the night and not embarrass myself.”

You somewhat confidently walked out of the room, and entered the now almost empty bar. There were two girls at a table loudly laughing, the bartender, Drew, and then him. You weren’t as nervous before, but he sat there chatting up the bartender with a charming smile. You hated to admit how good he looked. You approached them with a nervous smile on your face, and gave them a little wave. “Hi Roger, so where are we gonna go then?”

Roger turned around to face you, and gave you a smile, “I don’t know it’s up to you really.” He said, not breaking eye contact with you, “But I was thinking we could go to another bar that’s open or back to the party and you can meet the rest of the band.”

You thought for a moment but decided you didn’t want to be partying right now. You were never a party person, always more reserved and avoided large crowds… “Not that that doesn’t sound fun… But I was thinking we could just go to Tiffany’s Diner down the road and get some milkshakes? They really do have the best milkshakes in the state of Washington, if not the west coast…”

“Best milkshakes in the state you say? Sounds tempting…” He thought, as you looked at him expectedly. “Alright, but I’m going to hold your words against you if you’re wrong…”

You grinned, and grabbed his hand, guiding him out of the bar.

The diner was practically empty, except for a trucker and two teenagers. It’s neon lights lit up the room, and the odd smell of grease filled the diner. You sat across from Roger in a booth, and talked as you waited for your milkshakes and fries. “So,” you said leaning closer on the table, “what do you think of Seattle so far?” You asked.

“It’s very umm…” He furrowed his brows, unsure of how to answer the question. “Wet.”

You laughed and shook your head. “That’s one way to describe it. I love it here though, I’ve grown up here and I don’t see myself ever leaving.” You said with a gentle smile on your face.

“What do you do for work?”

“Well… Right now I’m just a waitress at this high end restaurant… It’s no life-long career, but it pays the bills and the tips are big, so I really can’t complain.” You fiddled with the zipper of your bag. “A little birdie told me you’re a drummer in a world famous band then?”

“Yeah I am, have you heard our songs?”

“A few. They’re okay… Room for improvement.” You said jokingly with a grin on your face.

“Hey wipe that grin off of you face! We’re internationally known, I’ll have you know.What about you? Have you ever thought of pursuing a musical career? Your voice is bloody amazing.” Roger said looking at you.

You tucked your hair behind your ear, a nervous habit of yours. “Thanks but I don’t think I will. I’m not going to chase after a dream that will likely never come true. My mom taught be to realistic.” You were started to feel less nervous now, but it was intimidating to be alone with someone so good-looking and so famous. “You met my friend back at the bar, Lizzie, and she always tries to get me to sing at other places… But I’m happy where I’m at.”

There was silence for a second, but it was quickly interrupted by the waitress bringing your food. “Hey Y/N, another performance at the Blue Moon tonight, I assume. Replacing Liz I see, who’s this?”

“This is Roger, my new best friend, Lizzie got to be too annoying.” You chuckled.

“A strawberry milkshake, a chocolate milkshake, and fries. You kids enjoy!” She said.

“Thanks Carol!” You called after her. Roger was looking at you with a puzzling look. “What?” You frowned.

“Are you friends with just about everyone then?”

You laughed, shaking your head. “Just with the people around here, I suppose.”

“I’m not sure if I believe that.” He looked at the chocolate milkshake in front of him. “Now, we’re going to see if you’re a liar or not. The best milkshakes, huh?” Roger studied it for a moment before taking a sip. He shook his head not saying anything.

“Well? What’s the verdict?”

Roger grinned. “That’s a pretty damn good milkshake, Y/N.”

“See I told you! The strawberry is even better!” You said taking a sip of your own. “Try it!” You said pushing your own milkshake towards him.

After trying your strawberry milkshake he exclaimed, “Why didn’t you tell me before we ordered to get strawberry?”

“Your first experience with the best milkshakes needs to be decided by you!” You beamed, and he rolled his eyes.“You know, some people like to dip their fries in the their milkshake. Liz does that, it’s disgusting.” You said, nearly laughing remembering the time with Lizzie.

“That sounds… Aggressively American…” Roger said, a shocked yet disgusted look upon his face.

You and Roger drank your milkshakes and ate the fries (not at the same time, of course), while chatting and laughing at the same time. You don’t know why he made you laugh so much and how he made you comfortable in such little time. It was weird to think how famous he was, yet here he was, enjoying a milkshake with you in a small diner. Against your wishes, he paid for your little meal and left a hefty tip for the waitress, Carol.

You looked at the clock above the diner counter. “Holy crap, it’s 1 AM. I really should be getting home, I have work at 8 AM…” You sighed, putting your face in your hands.

Roger took your hands in his. “You should come with me to my next show, it’ll be great! I could even ask Freddie if you could sing a song!” He looked at you with an excited look on his face.

“Rog, that’s sweet but I could never. Performing in a bar full of people you know is one thing, but in front of thousands I don’t know? That’s crazy. The open mic nights are just a bit of fun, that’s all… I’ll have to see you perform some other night, but right now I’m up for a promotion at work and I really can’t miss my shift.”

“I get it…” Roger said, leaning on his arm. “How far do you live from here?”

You frowned at the odd question, but answered nonetheless. “About two miles, why?”

He stood up from the table, and stretched his hand out to you. “Cause I’m going to walk you home, that’s why. Lead the way, love.”

“Roger it’s pouring you can’t honestly think we’re going to-”

“Come on, then I still have an excuse to be around you.” You blushed a bit, grinning as you took his hand and stood up.

The rain had let up, but you figured you still be drenched by the time you made it home. As you walked outside, you could see the moon slightly peeking out behind the storm clouds. You walked down the damp streets of Seattle, arm in arm. It was cold enough to see your breaths when you spoke, but that just gave you more of a reason to stay close to Roger.

Right now, Roger was telling you about how crazy tour could get, all the parties, all the fans, and all the shows… It was really intimidating, and talking about the topic made you nervous… When Roger looked down at you, he saw the look on your face, and that said it all. He could tell you were kind of freaking out.

“What’re you thinking about right now?” He smiled at you as you walked. “You kind of have a funny look on your face…”

You took a deep breath in… “I just… I don’t know… Why me? I’m just some girl from Seattle nothing special or different-”

“I knew you were special from the moment I saw you on stage in that black dress. The way you carried yourself on stage… The way you interact with people and have all these friends… I’ve shamefully met a lot of girls on this tour, and none of them have been like you.”

You bursted out laughing, despite your attempts to keep it in. “What’s so funny?”

“I’m sorry everything you said is super sweet, and I appreciate it, I really do, but it’s just so sappy and cheesy.” You giggled.

“Hey! Don’t make fun of me, I meant what I said!” Roger said, slightly laughing himself. “Okay… Yeah… It was a little cheesy.”

“Rog…” You stopped walking. “You aren’t gonna just forget me like all of those other girls right?”

“Of course not, I never intended to.” He frowned.

You tried to hide your smile but you couldn’t. After one night, you sort of fell for this stupid boy with messy blonde hair. It was hard not to. You continued your walk, telling him the story of Lizzie shamelessly mentioning to everyone how well you could sing. You told him a lot of stories, too, and in turn Roger told a few tour stories and about his band.

“They really seem like fun, and they all sound lovely. I’d love to meet them sometime.” You said, beaming up at him.

Roger shook his head. “‘Lovely’ isn’t exactly how I’d describe them but… I’m sure they’d love to meet you, too.”

You stopped in front of your apartment building, both of you drenched, the hair sticking to both of your faces. “This is me, right here.” You gestured toward the building.

“I’ll be sure to take note of your address, send you some letters.”

“That’s sweet and all but wouldn’t it be easier if I just gave you my number?” You questioned, and he just nodded. You took a pen out and wrote your phone number down. “Be sure not to wash that off.”

You stood in front of your apartment building’s door. “I have to admit, I didn’t think I’d enjoy this night as much as I did. Thank you, Rog.”

“The pleasure was all mine.” He gave you a small wave.

The rain was starting to fall harder, and the street was dark except for a dim light. You waved, and took one last look at him before you pushed the door open and walked inside. You tried to shake the water out, and realized how could you were now. You were almost at the stairs when you heard a knock on the door, and you turned around to see Roger.

“Now what is it?” You said playfully, as you opened the door and stepped out in the rain to meet him.

“You forgot something” Roger said leaning close to you. He was a lot closer to you now, you could feel your heart beating in your chest, and your face burned. Luckily for you, your blushing was hidden by the darkness of the night.

You frowned trying to think what you forgot. “No, I don’t think so I got my purse right h-”

He interrupted you by grabbing your face, and resting your forehead against his. He kissed you softly, and the world fell away. It was slow and soft, comforting in ways that words never would be. His hand rested below your ear, his thumb caressing her cheek as their breaths mingled. You wrapped your arms around his neck, and he pulled you closer until there was no space left between them. You could feel the beating of his heart against your own chest.

You both slowly pulled away, both resting your forehead against one another’s. “Be sure to call me, okay?” You whispered, and he nodded. You gently kissed his cheek once more before breaking apart, still holding his hand as you walked toward the door. When you got far enough, your hands also broke apart, and he allowed it to fall to his side. You opened the door and finally went up to your apartment.

The clock on your nightstand read 2:38 AM, and you shook your head over how much time Roger had taken up. You had to wake up in five hours, but you were pretty sure you’d have trouble falling asleep. As you now laid in your bed, thinking about the night you met and spent with Roger, recounting every conversation, every smile, and every laugh… You knew that this was a night to remember forever.

#also feedback always helps #roger taylor imagine #roger taylor x reader #ben hardy imagine #ben hardy x reader #bohemian rhapsody #queen #imagine #freddie mercury #john deacon #brian may #ben hardy #roger taylor

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just-come-baek · 6 years

Text

Wedding Fever 4

Pairing: Baekhyun x Reader

Word count: 9.3k

Summary: Baekhyun is the best man, and I am the maid of honor at our friends’ wedding. Although should we be excited about our friends getting married, we seem to complain a lot more every time we meet for another preparation. Maybe it’s a bit fanciful of me to think that, but I hope, somewhere between choosing flowers and venting about the reception prep, he’ll like me just as I like him.

A/N one more chapter and we’re done. I hope you’ll like this update. The smut was supposed to be in this part, but I have a lot of things to prepare for the uni for tomorrow, so it’ll be in the last chapter. Don’t hate me that much, this chapter is a lot to handle even without it.

previous part | Masterlist | next part

***

When we returned home, everything went back to normal. Jiwoo and Hongbin were demanding as always, yet Baekhyun and I kept dismissing their commands chatting about everything instead of doing any wedding planning. Jiwoo ranted about flowers and their meanings, and even if Hongbin listened to her attentively, we couldn’t care any less.

“Can you stop flirting, and prove yourself helpful?” Jiwoo asked in an annoyed voice, and we just looked at her, knowing she wouldn’t stop pestering us until our attention would be on her. “We’re planning my big day; can you focus for a second?”

I wanted to correct her that it wasn’t only her big day, but also Hongbin’s though I bit my tongue, not wanting to stir the pot even more. Moreover, we were preparing for her big day; we still had almost a year until the ceremony. She was exaggerating, and how the hell did she come to the conclusion that Baekhyun and I were flirting? That was ridiculous!

“We’re not flirting,” I denied her accusations before Baekhyun managed to beat me to it; I had to do it because if I heard Baekhyun discredit the prospect of our relationship one more time, my heart would break into so many pieces no glue could ever put it together. It hurt me way less when I was the one who bothered to explain the nature of our acquaintanceship.

“We’re helping as much as we can,” Baekhyun added, taking my side of this small argument. I was thankful for his help, even though I knew how to reason with her since I had known Jiwoo for almost a decade. “And to answer your question, yes, we think roses are too basic.” He finished, and I giggled, admiring his boldness to criticize her choice of flower decorations.

Jiwoo believed in her impeccable sense in fashion; Baekhyun’s words must’ve struck the nerve, but she tried her best not to lose her composure. Facing such constructive criticism wasn’t her forte, though right now she seemed oddly calm.

Did her love for Hongbin change her so much?

I could barely recognize her at this point.

“OK, then what do you propose?” Jiwoo asked, folding her arms across her chest, tapping her foot against the wooden floor impatiently. Baekhyun hummed as he thought about an answer which would satisfy her finicky temper.

“What about tulips?” I interjected, and all of them looked at me, waiting for elaboration. “I just looked it up online, and it says that tulips basically represent consuming love. Besides, imagine that you walk down the aisle, wearing snow white dress. Your eyes wander around the church which’s decorated with colorful tulip bouquets.” I explained, and though Hongbin and Baekhyun seemed to be fond of my idea, Jiwoo wasn’t the tiniest bit convinced.

Couldn’t say I wasn’t surprised.

“Completely not my style,” Jiwoo said as she sighed, sitting down beside Hongbin, placing her hand on his thigh. “I want something more… elegant. Tulips sound lame.” I expected to hear exactly that, yet it still stung a little bit; she knew tulips were my favorite flowers, but it didn’t stop her from stating such a harsh view. “What else do you have there?”

“What about hydrangeas? You can arrange bouquets in many colors, even in bubble-gum pink and sky blue. They look very exquisite, and not everybody can afford them.” I read out loud, and I knew it piqued her interest, so I carried on. “In flower language, hydrangeas represent sensual love and devotion,” I lied. They represented vanity, and according to my humble opinion, the description couldn’t fit her better. “Have a look, they’re gorgeous.” I handed her my phone, and together with her fiancé, she studied the photographs.

“What do you think about it, honey?” She asked sweetly, as she threw her leg over his laps, now playing with his hair when he held the phone and wondered if the flowers fit the general wedding theme. “They look beautiful, but I just don’t feel it.”

I wanted to groan when I heard her complaints. Why on Earth did she invite me here if she wanted to castigate every idea I’d come up with? I was bending over backward to help her, and she didn’t even consider my propositions. Why did I even bother?

I should’ve stayed at home.

She offered a bottle of delicious wine, but it wasn’t worth the humiliation I was receiving.

“I want something opulent, yet unusual at the same time. Maybe we should experiment with flowers and foliage? We could contact the best florist in the city, and she’d help us make the perfect bouquets! I’m thinking about something extravagant like, for example, herbs, or perhaps something more exotic.” She voiced her thoughts, and Hongbin nodded, willing to do everything for Jiwoo to have the wedding of her dreams.

“Ugh…” Baekhyun groaned as he reached for the bottle of wine. “Too much sugar,” he bitterly commented when he looked at them giving each other Eskimo kisses. “I think I’m gonna throw up. Do you want a refill?” Baekhyun offered, and I stretched my arm with an empty glass, ready for another dose of alcohol in my system.

If they were going to make out in front of us again, I might’ve as well numbed my senses with wine. Recently, I was too sensitive to public display of affection. Whenever I saw a happy couple, I was reminded of the kiss that I had shared with Baekhyun back in his parents’ house. I knew it was unhealthy to relive that memory, and it had to stop.

The timing couldn’t be any better for a resolution. I watched the lovebirds being so in love, and I wanted to experience these feelings, too. I deserved happiness, and since Baekhyun didn’t want to give it to me, I had to move on and seek it somewhere else. He wasn’t the only fish in the sea, and it was about time I comprehend that.

By the time of their wedding, I’ll have found someone worthy of my love.

“I think I need something a bit stronger than that, but pour it nonetheless,” I answered, and Baekhyun laughed, shaking his head, as he couldn’t believe that I actually said that out loud. “Beggars can’t be choosers,” I toasted, considering this exact moment as the beginning of another chapter of my life.

***

The weekend finally arrived – the first one after I had made my brilliant resolution. I was enthusiastic when I thought about getting back to dating. Unfortunately, when I came back home from work, I felt a little bit anxious. I had been dating ages ago, (back when Jungkook and I were a thing) and I was terrified to get back into the game.

Trying to save me embarrassment, I decided to spend the week focusing only on myself; it’d be a nice change after spending an entire week ‘auditioning’ local bands for Jiwoo’s wedding. According to her, DJs were too cliché, but regional performers hadn’t met her standards, either.

Also, she had a meeting with the best florist in the country scheduled for the next week, whereas the music agenda was ‘outsourced’ to Baekhyun and me.

This weekend was going to be all about me. I’d cook myself a nice dinner, and serve it with a bottle of my favorite semi-sweet wine. And I’d read a newly published romance novel while listening to trashy TV playing in the background. Later on, I’d take a relaxing bath, put a face mask, and have the beauty sleep which I had been deprived for way too long.

It was going to be perfect.

Everything was well-planned, and I had already told Jiwoo I couldn’t help her this weekend, so if she seriously needed expertise on anything to trash-talk later, she had to turn to Baekhyun. Regardless of how little she valued my contribution, I was beyond her reach this weekend.

And frankly, I wasn’t even sorry.

Sticking to my plan, I opened the refrigerator and analyzed what I could prepare without going outside; I had all ingredients for pizza, and though I fancied something else, I decided not to be picky. My pizza is yummy, and even if I had an appetite for something different, I’d eat it deliciously.

Having turned on the cooking channel, I got to work. Kneading the dough was the worst part, so I started with it. I prepared the other ingredients while the dough was rising. Within thirty minutes, everything was set, and when the temperature inside the oven was sufficient, I put it in.

I set the timer, and sat on the couch, pouring myself another glass of wine. Unfortunately, just when I focused on the screen, the woman on the show stopped talking, and the commercial break started. Just my luck. Could it get any worse?

And to answer my question, it could.

The Cutest Butt | 18:41 | are you busy?

What the hell did he want? I was going to spend some quality time alone, mostly because I was trying to forget about my stupid feelings. And right now, he was going to intrude?

Nope.

Not today.

Me | 18:42 | yep

Me | 18:42 | I’m busy

Me | 18:42 | sorry

Me | 18:42 | why are you asking?

I couldn’t let him catch me in his cobweb again. It was a miracle that I escaped (or at least I thought I did) his trap and he was just trying to lure me in with these silver strings again. It was tempting, but it’d be a mistake. First of all, I needed the distance. And then, I’d go on a date with the exact opposite of him. It’d be impossible to move on if he was around.

The Cutest Butt | 18:43 | I just wanted to hang out…

The Cutest Butt | 18:43 | whatcha doing?

I groaned, not really having the heart to lie to him. Well… I could, quite easily actually, but at the same time, I knew I’d go insane due to guilt. Whether he was aware of it or not, Baekhyun was a very precious person to me, and I’d feel terribly with my confabulation.

Me | 18:44 | I have a business meeting

Lying to him via the phone was simpler than doing that to his face. However, I should’ve thought about his reaction before I texted him; he was calling me right away, and I had no guts to either answer or decline the call. Talking was way more intimate than texting, and I was incapable of telling him lies without breaking my voice. He’d catch me right away.

My phone kept ringing, and when I was weighing my options, I heard knocking on my doors. Yeah, it was my weekend, yet everybody seemed to want to intrude my time alone.

Fun-fucking-tastic!

Not daring to answer the call, I fumbled with the lock, since I figured out I’d shoo the pestering stranger away, and then deal with the ignored phone calls from Baekhyun.

All at once, Baekhyun dialed my number once again, the oven started to beep, and I swung the doors open, internally screaming when I saw the last person I wished to visit me.

Damn Byun Baekhyun.

He had his phone pressed tightly against his ear, as he looked at me, and smiled warmly. “Are you having your business meeting wearing this?” He asked, and I blushed when I realized I was standing in front of him, wearing only a pair of grey sweatpants, an over-sized yellow T-shirt, no bra, and most importantly, no make-up.

“I was getting ready to leave, actually,” I said, lying shamelessly. The aroma of pizza lingered in the air, and it definitely reached Baekhyun’s nostrils. And even if didn’t, the beeping was giving away the mystery behind the delicious fragrance. “And what are you doing here exactly?”

“I was meeting a client in the neighborhood, and I thought I’d stop by, so I texted you. Then you wrote you’re busy, and I saw you had lights on, so I decided to check it out. I had a hunch that you were just trying to blow me off, but just in case there was a burglar I walked upstairs.” He explained, but his tone wasn’t the tiniest bit offended; if anything, he sounded amused and playful.

“Get inside, I hope you’re hungry,” I invited him in as I rushed to the kitchen to get the pizza out of the oven before it’d burn. Shortly after, Baekhyun joined me, and I reached to the cupboard for two plates and a wine glass for him.

“Wow, it looks and smells delicious,” Baekhyun peeked over my shoulder, “it probably tastes even better.” He added, and I rolled my eyes.

“You’re embarrassing me,” I said, and he just shrugged nonchalantly, letting me know he wasn’t going to stop complimenting me or/and my culinary skills because I told him not to.

“So… aren’t you going to reschedule your meeting?” Baekhyun inquired, as he sat down on the high stool, watching me cut the pizza for us. “It seemed pretty urgent.”

"The meeting is with myself," I genuinely answered, knowing there was no point in trying to keep lying. Baekhyun wasn’t interested in me, and I wasn’t going to act like a lady which I am not just to impress him. I was going to spend my evening just the way I planned it, and if Baekhyun wanted to intrude, he had to suffer through all of it. “You may as well join me. It’s gonna be super fun.”

“Oh, okay. What do you have in mind?” Baekhyun asked, taking a sip of his wine.

“We’ll eat, and then we’ll read some books. And later, we’ll do face masks. What do you think?”

Judging by the look on his face, he was terrified; his masculinity was very much threatened.

Having eaten the entire pizza and drunk a half the bottle, we moved to the couch; I occupied one side with a thick romance novel on my laps, while Baekhyun sat by the other end, reading something on his phone. The trashy TV was playing in the background, but none of us seemed to care about it.

Regardless of how hard I tried to focus on the reading, my eyes ran over the words, but my mind didn’t register them. I was at the bottom of the page, but I had no idea what I just read. And whose fault was that? Baekhyun’s! He didn’t even do anything; he just sat there. Effortlessly, he frustrated me, and I couldn’t concentrate on my novel.

“What’s going on? You’re glaring at me as if you want to dig my eyes out with a screwdriver,” Baekhyun said jokingly, and I reprimanded myself for staring at him so obviously. “Do you want me to go? Because if you need space, I’m a grown-up man, I can handle rejection.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I’m just a little angry because of the character.” I answered, and it wasn’t a complete lie; the heroine was kind of annoying, and some of her actions (which my brain somehow recorded) made my blood boil. “You can stay here for as long as you want. You’re always welcome here.”

“You didn’t sound so welcoming when I was calling you…” Baekhyun said in an artificial offended tone. “But you shared your food with me, so we’re cool. Your pizza is to die for.” He added, and I groaned internally, thinking there’s nothing left for me to try to seduce him. The way to man’s heart is through the stomach, but in my case, even the feast wouldn’t work.

“Easy there. Complimenting me won’t get you another serving. This restaurant is closed.” I jested, and Baekhyun looked at me fondly, trying to make me give in. His eyes were glowing, his graze was soft, and if I hadn’t made my resolution, I’d have fallen for this trap.

“Too bad, I’m not full yet,” he said, stretching his numb limbs. Looking around my apartment, he massaged his stomach. “Well… you baked the pizza, so it’s only fair that now I cook something for you. Do you mind?”

“Not at all; you know where the kitchen is,” I said casually, relieved that he’d disappear out of my face. I couldn’t focus on anything when he was so close; more distance would do wonders to me. Now, with ease, I could take my phone, and install Tinder.

My problem was defined, and a new love interest would be the best remedy.

While Baekhyun was fumbling in the kitchen, I was setting up my profile. It was challenging to come up with an original bio and a passable profile picture, but by the time Baekhyun served his dish, I already swiped a few guys right. I had a whole week to weed out the weird ones, and I was positive.

“What is this?” I asked him since I couldn’t tell on the first glance what the hell he prepared. It looked strange, and it smelled even worse, but I appreciated the effort he had put into making it. Maybe, it tasted better than it looked, and I hoped it was the case.

“It was supposed to be spaghetti, but I think I’ve messed it up,” he said, scratching the back of his head. “You shouldn’t have let me in the kitchen. We should’ve just ordered takeout.” He confessed, and I laughed. Baekhyun was adorable, and even though I had made a promise to myself not to fall for him more, I felt more hooked with each sweet gesture of his.

“But you know what they say, “when you’re hungry, just have wine, maybe you’re just thirsty.” Thankfully, we have a lot of wine left,” I said, and Baekhyun smiled at me. Could he stop? It was driving me insane.

“It’s not a healthy approach,” Baekhyun remarked, and I poured us more wine.

“I never said it was,” I replied, smiling at him. “Let’s finish this bottle and go to sleep.”

“It’s not that late, I can go home,” Baekhyun said casually, and I had to admit – his words saddened me. Was I so repulsive? Boring perhaps? Sleeping with me hadn’t bothered him before, so what has changed? One moment, he is so warm and friendly, but in the other one, awfully cold. I hadn’t wanted him in the first place, but since he was already here, it disappointed me when he desired to leave.

“Oh,” I breathed out, not knowing what else to say. “OK, sure, if that’s what you want,” I added, and chugged down the rest of my wine, not risking the chance of slipping out something even more embarrassing. Baekhyun was in the area and stopped by for a while, and I turned the situation into an all-night pajama party. How silly of me.

Baekhyun finished his glass of wine, and then I escorted him to the doors. Casually, he said goodbye and wished me goodnight, but that was it. He went through the doors, and he was gone. In my head, I imagined him running back to me and kissing my breath away, but nothing of sorts happened.

And at this point, I should be glad it didn’t.

It was another reason to get over him; he didn’t see me that way, and it was about time I finally comprehended that. I had experienced it so many time that the words ‘he’s just not into you’ should be imprinted in my brain. Baekhyun was gone, and I was about to give my heart to someone who’d accept it.

***

Next Friday, Jiwoo and I met for another bridal appointment. So far, she had tried on over twenty wedding dresses, yet not even one had met her expectations. Jiwoo had always dreamt about a huge ball gown, but whatever dressed she wore, she could find flaws.

“I must tell you something,” I said when we waited for our assistant. “I have a date tomorrow,” I announced, and Jiwoo looked at me utterly surprised. Was the news that flabbergasting? It had been too much time since my last date, but she shouldn’t be that taken-aback. “I’m very anxious about it.”

“There’s nothing to be anxious about,” Jiwoo answered, trying to calm me down. For her, it was normal to go on dates; even before Hongbin, she dated regularly. I, on the other hand, was a completely different story. “Did you finally ask Baekhyun, or did he ask you?” She inquired indifferently, as she picked up a catalog with their autumn collection.

“Actually, I’m seeing someone else. Baekhyun’s an old story.” I announced, and once again, Jiwoo glanced at me, completely not expecting such a turn of events. Jiwoo asked me about the guy, and I was a bit embarrassed that I met him via dating app, so I lied. “His name is Taehyung, and we work together. And I must tell you, he’s a sweetheart.”

“So it’s over between you and Baekhyun?” She asked, and I refrained from laughing in her face; how could things between Baekhyun and me be over when we never were in a relationship to begin with? If anything it was one-sided pinning, and it was definitely over. “Shame, even though he annoys me sometimes, you two looked cute together.”

Ouch!

The assistant finally came. “Hello, my name is Hakyeon, and which one of beautiful ladies is the bride?” He asked, studying our features, and I pointed at Jiwoo; she was the heroine, and I was just her sidekick and sometimes mental support. “Tell me about your wedding.” Hakyeon encouraged, and Jiwoo began her lecture about Hongbin, how they met, how he proposed, what style the wedding was going to be, a trillion of other unnecessary details, and her perfect dress. It took Hakyeon almost an hour to escort her to the changing room.

Every dress Jiwoo tried on was beautiful, but she was determined to find a flaw on each one. She wanted to look like a princess on her big day, but none of the dresses made her feel like one. All of them were captivating and elegant, but they weren’t the dress.

Hakyeon even tried to convince her to try a different style – a mermaid. In my opinion, she’d look gorgeous, but she had made her mind, and nothing could alter her concept.

After 3 hours of trying on wedding dresses and making another appointment, we left the salon and went to a nearby Italian restaurant. It was Jiwoo’s treat.

“Oh, I almost forgot to tell you,” she remembered when the waiter walked away with our order. “Hongbin and I bought dancing classes for us.”

“Oh, good luck then,” I said, not sure how I should take this information.

“Let me finish,” she added excitedly. “The dance studio had this 2+2 promotion, and we figured you and Baekhyun could join us. Two hours every Wednesday; what do you think?”

It was a bad idea.

Baekhyun’s presence was messing with my head, and dance is a very intimate form of interaction. However, it regarded Jiwoo’s wedding, and ditching was never an option. I’d have to suffer through it for her sake. It was just two hours a week, I could handle it.

“Sure.”

***

The dancing classes were actually not that bad. Baekhyun and I were not dancing the right steps, and no matter how terribly our performance was, the teacher was incredibly friendly and supportive. She was one of these very positive people, who despite seeing all your mistakes encouraged you to keep dancing.

Jiwoo and Hongbin seemed to be slightly better than Baekhyun and I. Unlike us, they weren't acting so awkward around each other. Also, they were pressured to dance flawlessly, whereas Baekhyun and I were just doing it for fun, so we could actually slack off a bit more.

“It feels so strange not being scolded,” Baekhyun whispered into my ear when our teacher instructed us to focus on the steps that we somehow took quite well. “She’s like the complete opposite of Jiwoo, and I’m not sure which end of the spectrum annoys me more.”

“I don’t know, either,” I said casually, trying my best not to feel affected by his closeness. “We’ve been under Jiwoo’s tyranny for so long, I think we’re used to being treated like that.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Baekhyun agreed with a deep sigh, probably thinking about a handful of memories in which we had been pushed around throughout the planning process. “Like always,” he whispered against my hair.

Wow, he was definitely too close.

“What are you thinking about?” I asked, curious whether I was right or not.

“About cake,” Baekhyun said in a serious tone, but I only chuckled; it was astonishingly random. “One of the reasons why I agreed to become the best man was because Hongbin promised to take me with them when they were going to pick up the wedding cake. And it’s been months, and so far there has been no cake. Can you believe it?”

“How could they?” I snickered, and Baekhyun shook his head, a bit disappointed that I wasn’t as serious as he was. “I can bet you’ll get your cake soon enough. And if anything, you know I don’t like desserts that much, so I will share with you,” I added, and Baekhyun smiled at me, now contented with my answer.

“OK, one more time from the beginning, and we’ll finish for today,” the instructor said, and all of us waited for the music to start playing. Slowly, we followed the rhythm, entirely focused on each other’s eyes. For short three minutes, we were in our own world, communicating only with tender glances and shy smiles.

“You were great, see you next Wednesday.” She clapped her hands, and we thanked her for the lesson, even if we had learned very close to nothing. But we had plenty of time left to grasp the basics, so I wasn’t that worried. By the time of their wedding, Baekhyun and I will have been dancing on a professional level.

“Wait up guys,” Jiwoo hollered when I stepped away from Baekhyun, wanting to change my shoes. “We wanted to thank you properly for putting up with all of this.” Jiwoo started, staring into Hongbin’s eyes, squeezing his hand fondly. “I know we are a lot to handle sometimes, so Hongbin and I booked a paintball ranch for tonight. What do you think?”

Jiwoo seemed very genuine about the matter, and I loved her idea. I could finally put an end to my pent-up frustration. We would go into the woods, and I’d have a chance to shoot all of them with the paint. Baekhyun – for confusing me all the time and being so oblivious to my feelings, Jiwoo – for pushing me around all the time in regards of her wedding and whatnot and Hongbin – for being there in the middle of my personal drama and not doing anything to help me. I had lots of anger bottled up, and she gave me an opportunity to unleash it.

“It’s perfect; let’s go,” I answered enthusiastically, perhaps a bit too enthusiastically judging by their confused stare; maybe it was slightly out of my character, but once she announced the news, I couldn’t help myself but feel ecstatic about it.

I hadn’t been honest about my feelings, and I had to take it out on something, and paintball seemed more than suitable.

***

“How was your date?” Jiwoo asked me when we were alone in the changing room, putting on camouflage overalls. “How was it? Did you make out with him?”

Frankly, the date with Taehyung was perfect; he was an ideal combination of warmth, wit, and composure. Moreover, he was absurdly good-looking; he had soft hazelnut hair, big captivating eyes, and an incredible sense of fashion. I’d love to go out with him again, but he had one major flaw – he resembled Baekhyun too much, and it wasn’t fair for him if I kept seeing him. I knew he was too good to be some sort of a rebound, and I had told him just that.

His smile was just identical, and I couldn’t stand being reminded of Baekhyun every time Taehyung flashed his pearls. I needed someone entirely different, and even when personality-wise they were remarkably contrasting, I couldn't handle looking at him every day. I just had to keep searching for someone else, regardless of how unnatural it felt to turn down such an astonishing guy as Taehyung.

Jiwoo mustn’t have known the truth, so I lied.

“Yeah, we did; Taehyung walked me home, and then we made out. He’s a great kisser.” We hadn’t gone further than holding hands during the walk after the dinner. “And I wanted to invite him inside for a cup of coffee, but he happened to be a real gentleman.” I’d just spilled the truth about Baekhyun, and how I wanted to move on. “We’re meeting next Friday.” We’re not meeting ever again unless I change my mind and he’s still single. “But now, when I’m reflecting on the date, I think I don’t want to limit myself to one guy just yet.” Another lie if Jiwoo asks me why I’m having a date with a different man.

“I barely recognize you,” she hollered, patting my shoulder encouragingly. “You go, girl!”

“Yeah, it’s about time I get some,” I added, determined to actually do it. When in bed with a nice guy, Baekhyun would be the last of my concerns, and that’s what needed to be done. I really strived a pleasant date and a couple of mind-blowing orgasms.

“Atta girl! You have my full support,” Jiwoo cheered genuinely, and I wanted to shoot her with paint just a bit less. Sometimes, she could be remarkably annoying, but in a few rare moments, she was exactly the friend I needed. (Especially if I needed a little push to do the stupid but spontaneous thing.)

“Thanks,” I answered, closing my locker.

“No problem,” she said, and I sat on the bench, waiting for her. “You know what; I have to make a quick phone call. Why don’t you get the markers? I’ll join you in a while,” Jiwoo proposed, and with a sigh, I obliged with her proposition. It seemed reasonable.

Quickly, I left the locker room and walked to the reception where they distributed markers. I was the fastest one among my friends so I could choose the color, and since I knew Jiwoo would kill me if I picked pink, I settled on green.

I waited for the rest, and when we were ready, one of the employees led me to the northern gate, while the others were escorted to the other entrances.

The forest was rather dark at this hour, but every few trees there were electrical lanterns, shining some light. It was notably silent; hooting aside, I couldn’t detect anything. Gingerly, I moved onward. If anyone was nearing me, I could hear them in an instant. I was about to win this. Failure was not an option – I had to be the last one standing.

It was maybe fifteen minutes, and I didn’t notice any of my friends. Did they manage to finish each other off before my arrival? That would be disappointing – I wanted to be the one to take them down.

Somewhere within my earshot, I heard someone’s presence. Cautiously, I looked around but whoever it was either hid behind the tree or just lurked in the shadows. Smiling excitedly, I held my marker high and aimed. Slowly, I spun around; I didn’t see my opponent, but I could tell that he or she was waiting for the perfect moment to attack.

Suddenly, I felt hands on my body; one was wrapped around my waist, the other on my mask. Whoever caught me couldn’t shoot me, so I had a chance to free myself and then counterattack. I wriggled, but unsuccessfully; the opponent was stronger and taller than me which meant it could be any one of them.

Before I noticed, I was trapped, being squeezed between the tree and the opponent. Our position didn’t allow having a clear shot, so I still wasn’t worried about my victory. Confidently, I looked up and saw the most beautiful pair of eyes which I could recognize everywhere – it was Baekhyun. Slowly, staring at me, he took off his mask. Why the hell was he teasing me instead just taking me down instantly?

Was he one of the predators who played with its prey before killing it?

“You’re so dead,” Baekhyun whispered as he took off my mask.

“Don’t get so cocky,” I teased, thinking how to use the current situation to my advantage. Baekhyun underestimated my skills, and I had a chance to outsmart him. But then, my brain froze when he leaned in and kissed me fervently.

It wasn’t like our first kiss; right now, he was quick, passionate, and maybe even slightly aggressive. During our first, we were slow, enjoying our little moment, but now, he was kissing me hard as if he was running out of time.

It confused me, but I couldn’t help myself; the sensation overwhelmed me, and I kissed him back, shamelessly moaning when he pressed his body against mine. It was just a kiss, but without any doubt, it was the most erotic episode in my life.

After what it seemed a century, he pulled out. I felt as if he stole all of my energy with his lips, and I almost whined at the lack of his warmth.

I was utterly confused. What did the hell happen? Did he just kiss me?

“Why?” I asked barely audibly, but Baekhyun instead of answered me, he just smirked, and took a few steps away from me, shooting my chest four times with yellow paint.

“Cocky you say,” Baekhyun said in a low voice, and I bit my bottom lip in wrath. How could he play me like that? It was a low blow. Did he know about my feelings and use them against me in such an infantile way? How could he? Now, I was ashamed for harboring feelings for him in the first place. What a dick!

I couldn’t let him leave like that. Maybe I was dead, but it was just a game, and I had a set of paintballs, and I wasn’t going to let them go to waste. It wasn’t why I came here. I needed revenge, and that was what I was about to execute.

“Baekhyun?” I called his name, using a mixture of scared and confused tone. Immediately, he turned around to enjoy his victory, but then I pressed the trigger. I didn’t miss once, and when my marker was empty, Baekhyun was all covered with green paint.

“I hope it was worth it,” I angrily said before I stormed off to the northern gate.

***

After that evening at the paintball ranch, I didn’t contact either of them. Mostly because of Baekhyun, but also because I was busy coordinating Jiwoo’s surprise bachelorette party. It’s a tradition that the bridesmaids organize the bachelorette party, but Jiwoo forbade us to do anything; it was her party, and she wanted to prepare it by herself.

I couldn’t let that happen. I was the maid of honor, and it was my duty. That’s why I made a group chat with other Jiwoo’s friends and convinced them to throw her a surprise bachelorette party. (This weekend, so she wouldn’t suspect a thing.)

The first point on our list was a fashion show – Jiwoo loved brand clothes, and the idea of taking her there seemed perfect. Later on, we would go go-kart racing since she loves speeding, and then we would end up in the lounge in the most fashionable club in the city, ogling at the most handsome stripper they could provide us with.

Without any doubt, Jiwoo would love it.

It was eight p.m., and Jiwoo’s two other friends were to escort her to the racetrack where other bridesmaids and I were waiting for her to deliver the information about her surprise bachelorette party.

When she arrived, she was taken aback and swayed by our intrigue.

“Guys, you really didn’t have to,” she said with plenty of gratitude in her voice, but I only smiled and handed her the gear she would need to race. “First, the fashion show, and now this? I love you all,” Jiwoo added, taking the equipment from me.

“I hope you can forgive me ditching the dancing classes when you know what kept me busy,” I said, hoping she’d understand my reasons. I had to lie to her in order not to get caught.

“I actually thought you were avoiding Baekhyun, to be honest,” Jiwoo concluded, yet I quickly denied her suspicions although she was partly right. I was conscious I was a laughing stock to him, and I got enraged at the mere mention of his name. Now, when my emotions were out of the bag, I didn’t have enough pride to face him.

“Nah, I was just making sure that your surprise bachelorette party is perfect,” I answered with a bright smile upon my face, actually looking forward to having lots of fun. It was her night, but I still could race as if my life depended on it, and pick up someone at the club.

The moment all of us were dressed in racing suits, we got into the go-karts. And to make the race more interesting, we decided to have a bet – whoever gets first to the finishing line also gets a private show at the club with a stripper of their choice.

Just as I expected, Jiwoo, being the crazy driver, won the race – she was the bride, she deserved victory. It was her bachelorette party, after all. I, on the other hand, arrived almost the last, but my loss didn’t hurt me that much. I was just too happy for Jiwoo to care.

In the limo, there were a few bottles of champagne to get us in the right mood before hitting the club. We couldn’t intoxicate ourselves earlier, so the short limo ride was our first and last chance to do so.

“It’s better than I’ve ever expected it to be,” Jiwoo admitted when the glasses were filled with the bubbly alcohol. “I love you guys,” she confessed, drinking her champagne in one go, and although I wasn’t nearly as good of a drinker as she was, I mirrored her actions.

“The bar is high, and we’re not even finished,” Jiwoo’s cousin mentioned, reminding Jiwoo that she will have a hard time topping our bachelorette party. “The best is yet to come,” she added as she pulled a bag with gadgets which signified that we’re indeed participating in a wild bachelorette party.

“Oh God, please no,” Jiwoo groaned and rolled her eyes upon seeing the tacky decorations. “I take that back about loving you guys. You are the worst,” Jiwoo complained, but none of us really cared. It was a tradition, and she had to suffer through it.

When the champagne was drunk to the last drop and the limousine parked in front of the club, we exited the vehicle and marched to our reserved lounge. It was in the VIP section, and I was very excited to experience such a glamour life for the first time.

Once we were all seated, I told the waiter to bring the bottle of their best rum, even though I was already buzzed after having all of that champagne. Jiwoo wasn’t affected by the alcohol at all, and it was our job to get her drunk.

“I can’t believe you made me wear it,” Jiwoo nagged, taking off her fancy dildo tiara. “I have an image to maintain, I can’t wear shit like that,” she added, and since we didn’t want to hear her complains all night long, we decided to let her do whatever she pleases.

Excitedly, Jiwoo poured us drinks, and we made a solemn toast for her night. Tonight, her place was in the spotlight, and I was going to encourage her to grasp as much attention as she could. Tonight, she was a superstar, and all of us were mere admirers.

“Are you ready for the main highlight?” I asked when we put our glasses on the table.

“The highlight?” Jiwoo wondered as she looked at me. “Does he have a name?”

“His stage name is pretty shitty, but I talked to him yesterday, and I can assure you he’s completely your style,” I answered, and the other girls hollered excitedly, as she couldn’t wait any longer for the stripper to show up. His performance was for Jiwoo, but the rest of us were thirsty for some nudity. “His name is Wonho. Wait a second, I’ll go get him.”

Quickly, I notified the manager about our request, and she told me she’d send Wonho to our lounge in no time. “Oh my God, he’s coming!” I shouted when I saw him walking behind me. “That’s Wonho,” I excitedly said when I sat down in our lounge.

“Which one of the beautiful ladies is the bride?” Wonho asked, and the girls squealed despite his slight speech defect. Almost instantly, his eyes stopped at Jiwoo, and she waved at him, acting unnaturally shy.

Wonho’s performance was explicit; he rocked his hips sensually, and I could vouch I caught Jiwoo moaning when he was dancing on her thighs. His enormous muscles flexed as he moved, and though he was absolutely not my style, I couldn’t help but ogle. He was excellent at what he was doing, and it was apparent that the girls would agree with me.

Although there’s a no-touching rule, it didn’t stop Jiwoo from doing that. Wonho didn’t seem to mind her ministrations, either. Maybe it was a bit paranoid of me, but Jiwoo looked as if she enjoyed his show a bit too much. I quickly dismissed this thought; it was her bachelorette party, it was her duty to have more fun. They weren’t doing anything wrong, after all. It was as innocent as stripping could be.

Unfortunately, Wonho couldn’t dance all night long. The performance had to end, and though unwillingly, we let him leave. With a body like his, he must’ve had other customers.

When we finished the ordered bottle of rum, we ordered some fancy cocktails. The alcohol has already clouded my mind, but I was having a lot of fun, so I didn’t mind another dose. It had been too long since I had this much fun, and I was going to get the most of this night.

Tonight was a perfect opportunity to dance with my girl friends, and then get laid with one of the hot guys met in the club. It had never been my thing, but having been under the dry-spell for so long, I no longer cared.

Having drunk the sweet cocktail, I was seriously buzzed; (probably as drunk as all of the girls together.) In a perfect mood, I hit the dance floor.

I was having so much fun I didn’t realize how much time I was actually there. It felt like twenty minutes, but so many people were now on the dance floor, it probably was two hours.

Out of breath, I ordered another cocktail, and when the bartender gave it to me, I returned to our lounge where some of the girls were chatting frantically. Casually, I joined their conversation, and we all giggled when remembering Wonho’s performance. Without any doubt, they were to hire him again for another bachelorette party.

“You rocked back there,” Jiwoo’s cousin said, mentioning my dance moves, and I just shrugged, being used to hearing compliments about it.

“Thanks,” I replied indifferently, sticking the straw between my lips, sipping the cocktail. “And what about you girls? Why aren’t you dancing?” I asked, changing the topic, not being comfortable being in the center of attention for too long.

“We’re going for a smoke. Are you going with us?” Jiwoo’s co-worker announced, but I shook my head. I don’t smoke, and at this time when it’s so cold outside, accompanying them was the last thing on my mind. If they wanted to freeze their butts off, they had to do it alone.

“I’ll pass but thank you for the offer,” I said, watching them go outside.

Sitting alone in the lounge, I quickly finished the cocktail and went to the bathroom. Strangely enough, there was no queue in front of it; I just pushed the doors opened and walked inside. Only to rush out as soon as I saw a couple which fucked on the sink.

“Seriously?” I asked rhetorically, as I wasn’t able to believe they couldn’t have made it to the cubicle. They had to fuck right there for everyone to see. The audacity!

Annoyed beyond endurance, I stood a few meters from the entrance, waiting for them to be finished. I highly doubted they could go for long in such circumstances. And I was right; it maybe was three minutes, and they were gone.

However, I couldn’t believe my eyes what I saw. It was Jiwoo and Wonho. I knew what I had seen; she fucked the stripper, and there was no way I was misreading the situation. She really cheated on Hongbin.

Wow, so she hadn’t changed after all.

Having witnessed the infidelity, I lost my focus, functioning on the autopilot. I could remember going to the bathroom, ordering another cocktail at the bar, rejecting a few guys who wanted to dance with me, chatting with Jiwoo when she was ordering shots for herself, and lastly, Jiwoo calling someone to pick up “his girlfriend” because I had drunk one cocktail too many. I barely registered what was going on around me, but her phone call still confused me. Excuse you, I wasn’t anybody’s girlfriend.

As soon as she hung up, she told the bartender to stop making me drinks, and despite me, being one of the best customers that night, he had the nerve to obey her.

“I heard you’re causing trouble,” I heard a familiar voice when he leaned in and placed his hand on my back. “Jiwoo told me to collect you, so here I am.”

“Wow, since when you’re her bitch?” I asked, too drunk to filter my words. Jiwoo and Baekhyun had done me wrong, and I wasn’t going to pretend I was okay with their shenanigans. I was sick and tired of being their friend, and it was about time they found out what I thought. “I’m not causing trouble, so you can go back to minding your own business.”

“First of all, I’m not her bitch,” Baekhyun said, a bit fed up with my attitude. “I came here because I was concerned,” he added, and I laughed loudly. It was a good one. He was concerned – yeah, right. It was foolish of him if he seriously thought I’d fall for that. “It’s not funny, I mean it. And why are you acting like that? Has something happened?”

Plenty of things happened which led me to this situation, but it was for the better he didn’t know. Baekhyun wasn’t invested in this chaos, and I didn’t want to drag him in. It was already too complicated without him, and I knew he’d only stir more drama.

“It’s none of your concern,” I answered stubbornly, refusing to share anything with him. “And if you want me to feel better, just order me another cocktail. I’m thirsty,” I said, and Baekhyun turned to the bartender, ordering me a glass of water. “You gotta be kidding me.”

“You need to sober up, and I’ll take you home,” Baekhyun said, and I rolled my eyes, knowing I wasn’t going to leave with him. I was to leave the club with somebody who would fuck me, and since Baekhyun viewed me only platonically, it wasn’t an option.

“No way,” I spoke, jumping off the high stool. If he expected it to be easy, he was wrong. I was done with him, so he might as well leave right now.

“Don’t be like that,” Baekhyun whispered into my ear when he wrapped his hand around my wrist and pulled me against him. “Let me get your coat.” His breath tickled my skin, and I shut my eyes close, cursing myself for not pushing him away.

Baekhyun walked away to bring me my coat, and I stood there like an idiot, easily manipulated by his sweet talk. He knew what influence he had on me, and he used it to make me his little puppet.

Thankfully, it was the last time I’d see him. With the knowledge I possessed, I couldn’t be Jiwoo’s maid of honor anymore. The only excuse I had to meet him wasn’t valid now, and it gave me hope for starting anew with someone who appreciated me for who I was. I had wasted enough time on the friendship with them anyway.

“Here,” he said, mentioning me to turn around, so he could help me put it on. “Where is your purse?” Baekhyun inquired when he noticed I wasn’t carrying one.

“I didn’t bring it. I was supposed to get back to Jiwoo’s after the party.” I explained, and Baekhyun nodded, opening the doors like the real gentleman he made me think he was.

“So I’m guessing you don’t have your keys, either,” Baekhyun concluded, and I just nodded slightly. “It’s okay; you can crash at my place tonight. It’s not that far.”

I didn’t like that idea, but I didn’t have any other options. I didn’t have anyone who would let me crash at their place at such late hour without previous notice. I’d have to go with Baekhyun, rest, and then go to Jiwoo in the morning to get my keys.

“Are you feeling better?” Baekhyun asked me when we stopped at the crosswalk. “How much have you drunk?”

“You killed my buzz; how do you think I feel?” I answered, now almost completely sober. I wasn’t feeling lightheaded or dizzy or sick. “I feel okay. Don’t worry, I won’t throw up, I’ve had like two glasses of champagne and two and a half cocktails.”

“I think for you it’s more than enough,” Baekhyun snickered, and I fought the urge to argue. It was our last interaction, and I didn’t want to leave the unfavorable impression of me. I’d rather have him remembered me as chill and carefree. “What’s the occasion anyway?”

“It was Jiwoo’s surprise bachelorette party,” I answered, explaining the details regarding the celebration. “I still can’t believe she called you to escort me home.”

“Yeah, I feel the same way. I didn’t expect to see you so soon after what happened at the paintball ranch.” Baekhyun stated, and I looked at him, shocked that he actually had the balls to explain his strange behavior. “I know it was random, and I’m sorry for doing it. I j-just, I have no idea what got into me. I overheard Jiwoo talking on the phone, and she told someone you had a date with some dude, so I panicked.”

“And why would you panic? It’s not that we’re together. And you don’t like me that way, either,” I interjected casually, finding this story really amusing. He panicked – right, as if I’d believe that. He had never done anything that would indicate he was attracted to me. “Please, don’t make me laugh, it’s ridiculous.”

“It’s not,” Baekhyun said, stopping in his track in front of me, blocking the way. “How would you know how I feel?” He asked, and I wanted to answer him how lack of action is pretty self-explanatory. “You’re an amazing woman, and there’s not a thing I don’t like about you. I just didn’t want to act on my feelings because–“

“I don’t need to know,” once again, I stopped him before I heard something I didn’t want to. I didn’t even confess to him, yet he was still to reject my feelings in the most polite way imaginable. “Some things are better left unsaid,” I added, as I bypassed him, going forward even though I didn’t know where he lived.

Baekhyun groaned, and before I managed to walk ten meters, he ran up to me, spinning me around, making me face him. “Can you just shut up and listen to me?” Baekhyun asked in a slightly angry tone, and I obeyed his order, not used to his hot and bothered demeanor. “You’re unbearable now; you realize that, don’t you?” He added, but I didn’t dare to speak.

Sighing, he took a step toward me, invading my personal space. His eyes stared in mine, and his hands cupped my cheeks, holding me still if I ever thought of looking away. “Sometimes, you’re really unbearable. Sometimes, you do things you hate, and you get annoyed, and I have no idea why you’re doing it in the first place. Sometimes, you do lame things, yet you don’t care what others think of you. I’ve been thinking about you for a while now, and I know it’s out of the blue, but I think I’m in love with you. I understand you must be confused right now since I didn’t show you any affection, but it’s true. I didn’t act on my feelings because I was afraid we would screw up their wedding if something goes wrong between us. But when I heard you started seeing other people, I just risked everything.”

Baekhyun explained, and I didn’t know how to react. The way he put it made me angry and happy at the same time. I had been waiting for that moment to occur for way too long, and now when it happened, I was speechless.

“Just say something,” Baekhyun said in a low voice. His eyes were trained on me, trying to detect the slightest change in my demeanor. “Anything; please, don’t leave me hanging.”

“What do you want me to say?” I fired, unsure of how I should conduct this conversation. Baekhyun wanted me, and I wanted him, but it wasn’t that simple. He was Hongbin’s best friend, and I was Jiwoo’s, and she dared to cheat on her fiancé. There was a mess inside my mind, and I didn’t have energy or willingness to think it through now. “I’ve always thought actions speak louder than words,” I said, hoping he’d understand what I wanted him to do.

“You wouldn’t let me do that if you were indifferent about me,” Baekhyun whispered before he leaned in and captured my lips. It was the third time we were kissing, and it was a delicious mix of our previous interactions. He started gently, and it quickly grew in passion. His lips were soft, and I wrapped my hands around his neck, pulling him closer.

“I’ve never been indifferent about you,” I confessed shyly, feeling relieved that I no longer had to keep my feelings bottled up. “How could I? You’re just you, and it’s more than enough for me.”

“God, why haven’t I done it sooner?” Baekhyun asked rhetorically, yanking me against him, holding me tightly. His hug wasn’t nearly as good as in my wildest dreams, and right now, it conveyed so much emotion, I felt overwhelmed.

“And whose fault is that?” I snickered, and Baekhyun just sighed, enjoying our hug.

“Of course, it’s mine.”

#baekhyun smut #exo smut #byun #byun baekhyun #baekhyun fanfiction #baekhyun #exo fluff #exo angst #baekhyun scenario #exo #baekhyun x reader #baekhyun fanfic #baekhyun fluff #wedding au #husband

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chatoyism · 6 years

Text

assistance ; young k smut

; summary: your boyfriend is in need of a little help, but being frustrated from work and in a low mood, he won’t be left unattended without assistance.

; genre: smut, romance,

; pairing: young k x reader

; word count: 6,643

; warnings: smut and sexual content with plenty of foul language, only for 18+

; notes: this is my first smut that i’ve written in a long time so I may not be the best, but despite that, I do advise that this is only for 18+ and only read if you are willing to take the risk of A LOT of sexual interaction

It was pitch black outside that night. The tall lamps along the sides of the roads were the only things illuminating down the street, cars occasionally driving by as workers headed home for the day, rolling into their driveway and making their way inside.

Cold as usual, everyone’s blinds were down and people were already off to bed. It was almost midnight so people had to sleep to gain back some energy since tomorrow was the weekends. The whole neighborhood was empty, dark and enveloped into nothingness as the only house illuminated by the living room lights and the TV screen was your own house.

You groggily drove onto your driveway, opening up your garage and pulling your car into the tight and compact space before turning off the ignition and stumbling your way out the door. Spending hours and hours on end at work, you were on the verge of collapsing at any second since your whole body was drained from its powers. You would’ve slept right then and there on your driveway if it wasn’t for the cold atmosphere and the smell of dust, paint buckets and spray chemicals fuming up the place.

“I’ll freaking kill my boss, I’ll kill him if I have too…” You clenched your teeth and muttered under your breath, staggering towards the front door as you closed the garage with your bag strapped to your shoulders filled with documents and pulled out your keys, making your way inside.

As per usual, your boyfriend sat on the couch, sprawled on the grey cotton sofa in his baggy sweatpants and casual white tee, one of his legs off the side and his arms resting on the armrest and the back pillow.

It was his usual attire, nothing really differed every day though you loved the look on him. He found it comfortable and you found it stunning. His white shirt was stretchy, but it somehow perfectly defined his body underneath, curving around his muscles on his abdomen and shaping his chest muscles as it tightened around that area.

You watched as your boyfriend turned towards your direction, the changing lights of the TV screen flickering on and off which illuminated his facial features as he smiled brightly, perking up at the sight of your figure back home. You usually greeted him with a smile, but today felt different. You weren’t in the mood.

“Hey, Y/N.” He smiled, showing his bright set of teeth as the TV screen lights shone on them. “How was work?”

All you could do was let out a deep and thoughtless sigh, not caring about answering that much since all you could focus on was getting to bed to get rid of your inner frustration and stress. You wanted to do nothing but rest since you were tired and couldn’t hold yourself up any longer.

“Well, work was fine I guess.” You let out a frustrated groan and kicked your high heels off your feet, placing them on the foot rack before tossing your heavy bag off your shoulders and hanging them on the hook on the wall, just beside the key holder.

“You sure about that? You look a little disgruntled.” He asked, sitting up from his slouched position and looked over at you with concern. Straightening himself, he watched as you rubbed the side of your head, stressed out and fuming with anger.

“Yes, yes, I’m fine Younghyun, no need to worry about me.” You answered, stumbling through the living room in your grey work attire while he raised an eyebrow.

“You’re not usually like this, you look a little tired.” He bit the corner of his lips, looking at you deeply as if he knew what was going on inside of your head. You were clearly not alright and he read your expressions like an open book. “Do you need to eat, do you need to drink water or get some rest?”

You turned your head to face him, clearly not in the mood as your eyes pierced through his, indicating to him that you weren’t in the mood for talking.

“I said before, I’m fine. I’m just a little tired Brian.” You spoke a little louder, turning to making your way up the stairs to the living room when Younghyun stood up and stopped you.

“I know you’re angry Y/N, you can just explain it to me. It has something to do with work doesn’t it.” He grabbed your wrist tightly, only for you to quickly knock his hand out the way and looked up at him, dead straight into his eyes almost bursting into a fit of anger.

“I need space, okay? Work made me really cranky and I’m just not in the mood and tired that all I can think of is just going to bed in peace. That is all I’m asking for so stop annoying me.” Your tone of language shocked your boyfriend, the look on his face almost devastated by what came out of your mouth as he held back and watched as you walked around him.

Trying to get away from him to get to your own comfort zone, Younghyun quickly wrapped his arms around your shoulders, quickly back hugging you and trapping you in place as he stopped you from walking any further.

“Let go of me Brian.” You muttered, scratching at his pale and smooth skin, only to feel something hard and long, poking at the end of your butt. It jabbed a little, poking you continuously as you were silenced for a few seconds before looking over your shoulder at Younghyun who was smirking from the corner of his lips.

“You need to stop being so angry just because of work. Work is just a place to feel angry about and sit in front of a desk tapping away at your computer when you can just relax. Get it out of your mind, it might not be that bad.”

You growled loudly and tugged his arms off from your neck that was trapping you, turning to face him as you noticed the large bump in the lower region, basically sticking out begging to collect some freedom. It was large, very much waiting for surprises that it might earn in the future. However, in your situation, you weren’t having it.

You needed to rest.

“You have no clue Brian, my boss has been nagging at me all week to get these documents inside my bag to get finished by Monday. And if I don’t do a good damn job, I’ll have to work twice as hard and 12 hours is already torturous enough.” You argued at him as he kept the same low hanging facial expression.

“You can just — off and deal with your own business and not mine.”

“Yah, Y/N.” Younghyun called your name sternly, only to get in response a back towards his direction before turning the corner and footsteps heading upstairs to the bedroom.

“This attitude of yours is not going to help me. I have something to deal with and it’s definitely going down itself.”

“Do it another time then. I’m not going to do it with you tonight so find some other time. I told you before, I am really not in the mood.”

Younghyun cursed under his own breath, climbing up the stairs and followed you from behind, keeping watch as your figure walked into your shared bedroom with a loud groan before quickly removing your work attired off your body. Your attitude towards him was slowly disturbing him on the inside, he knew how much you loved it when he took your frustration out of you but today was much different, much more complicated and harder to get you into falling for his own pleasure.

“Yah, Lee Y/N.” He called out your name, closing the bedroom door behind him and locking it, only to lean on the door frame and watched as you grabbed a set of pyjamas and undergarments before walking into the bathroom.

“Don’t talk to me Kang Younghyun. I’m fed up with having sex all the time now.” You turned to look at him one more time before shutting the bathroom door closed.

“Fucking work…” You mumbled, removing your bra and panties as you got into your shower, cleaning yourself up from the warm water as it soothed your skin before getting out and drying yourself, wearing your chosen pyjamas and walking out towards the bed.

Younghyun laid down on his side of the queen sized bed, grasping his mobile phone in his hands texting a friend of some sort before he noticed you coming out of the shower in messy damp hair. Perking his head up, he watched as your attention was drawn to the size of his boner that was sticking up from his boxers, almost so harshly that the red boxers he wore was showing from the thin fabric of his sweatpants.

Standing up to have his turn, he didn’t dare to speak a word to you as he made his way to the bathroom, shutting the door close. Slipping into the covers of your bed quickly, it wasn’t long until you found your eyes closing shut, your mind slipping out of consciousness as it was only a few seconds when you were already knocked out into a deep and undisturbed sleep, covered in your thick blankets from the cold. All you needed was well deserved rest.

That was all.

You let out a harsh and tempted moan escape past your lips, a feel of pleasure running down your spine as your body, eyes that were tightly shut closed and mind in unconsciousness and still in sleep, felt a wave of sexual desire as a wet dream seemed to creep up on you.

“Ahh, Y-Younghyun-n…” You moaned out loudly, rolling your head back, still not knowing what was truly happening as a wave of pleasure traveled down your body towards your abdomen. You were too tired to open your eyes, too tired to realize the truth as all you could do was squirm around where you were as the continuous feeling spun circles in your lower region.

You felt excitement, rushing to get the feeling flowing through your body faster as you wanted to gather your climax and let it out on your high. As sounds escaped past your lips, moan after moan never failing to be held back and kept away in secret, your dream came to a sudden end and realization when a sudden jab of your entrance poked you awake.

Eyes shooting wide open, you woke up in a sweat, a pool of wetness drenching your back as a rush of cool breeze brushed against your skin. Turning towards the digital clock on the bedside table, it read:

3:14 AM.

You slumped your head back against the pillow, patting the side on the bed beside you in hopes of feeling your boyfriend’s body, only to feel an empty and cold space before your mind came to reality when your body was sent into another world of pleasure at your nether region. You let out a long and outstretched moan escape your lips, a tune coming from your mouth as you gasped at the sudden change of reality from your dream.

You were wide awake now. Wide awake, undressed, sweaty, a moaning mess and a very angry, naked and vigorous boyfriend digging right at your sensitive areas.

You suddenly pulled back, sitting up from your sleeping position as you noticed how bare you were. Your breasts were no longer covered by your shirt, your pants long gone and on the floor along with your panties as you tried to adjust your sight to the new darkness, a hint of light coming in from the moonlight outside your bedroom window.

You rubbed your eyes, getting used to the new light as you felt a weight shift on the bed closer towards you, a new warmth leaning in to your bare body as the figure’s soft and quiet breath tickled your skin.

“B-B-Brian?” You wondered consciously, trying to pull the blanket that was kicked away from you, over your body to cover yourself up, only to have it torn away from your grip and your boyfriend shutting your voice off with a sudden attack to your lips.

Indulging his own soft, plump ones into yours, they molded perfectly into your lips, locking together as one as he was in the mood, closing his eyes and licking at the bottom lip making way for entrance. As you widen your mouth accepting his invitation, his tongue darted for your own, entangling it into a well fought war with each other, both of your sweaty bodies rubbing against one another while you both fought for dominance.

You gasped and pulled away for air, opening your own eyes to see the lust, the deep message in Younghyun’s eyes piercing into yours as he looked fierce, angered, tampered with and needed a way to wash himself out; but it wasn’t easy matter tonight.

“Brian, I’m really tired, this isn’t the right time. It’s 3 AM—” Cutting your words short, Younghyun shut you off with a quick peck on your lips, gazing into your eyes as his face showed one clear expression. The strong desire of pleasure.

“Shhh, don’t speak Y/N. You’ve already done enough talking today, and I’m not going to let you have the upper hand this time.” He smirked, showing it on the corner of his lips as he crawled on the bed down towards your legs as you watched him, gulping a lump in your throat as he began to grasp his hard and erect member and pumped it slowly.

“I told you before it was hard for this thing to go down by itself without some attention, I couldn’t sleep without having the need of you touching me.” He chuckled a little and leaned over your body, hovering and towering over your shivering figure as knots were building up inside the pit of your stomach.

“Y-Yah, I told you before. I’m not in the mood today because of my fucking boss who decides to pressure my entire week, that’s why I’m so frustrated.”

“Have you thought about talking to your boss about this? Maybe he’ll soon understand once he feels the pain that you’re in.” Younghyun told you, placing his soft and smooth hands on your thigh and rubbing it on the inside walls, getting closer and closer towards your entrance. “Maybe before you tell him next week, I could get your mind off it somehow. Maybe, a little sense of… Adventure?”

You could hear the smirk in his voice as you leaned forward in an attempt to respond to him, only to roll your head back on the pillow and your eyes closing shut when his fingers found their way to your clit, rubbing softly but in strong round motions, sending you into a sudden ride of euphoria.

“O-Oh my god, Y-Younghyun, a-ahh…” You let out a moan, your legs naturally spreading wider hoping to get your boyfriend’s touch to cover all over your body when he leaned into you, his breath brushing against your skin and placing pecks right on your collarbone.

Starting off small, his rubs against your round bud was just the beginning, his lips that were attached to your skin were sucking lightly, his plump lips pressing at your skin before they turned into harsh sucks that clearly became into visible hickeys all over your neck and collarbone.

“Y-Younghyun…” You mumbled, calling out for your boyfriend’s name as he hummed.

“I-I-I want you in m-me…”

Immediately objecting to your thought, the feeling of his hands on your sensitive region was removed and your feeling of pleasure was soon washed away. Younghyun gazed deeply into your eyes, a little sparkle or maybe a glint almost as he looked into you deeply, pulling a loose strand of hair away from your sticky and sweaty face.

“Weren’t you frustrated earlier? What happened to the old Y/N?” He asked and tilted his head like a child, waiting for a response.

“I-I just need you in me, Young K, I want your cock in me…” You mumbled, only to get a grunt from him.

“Since you were a little angered earlier and needed space, I will do what you say, however, on one condition.” He asked and peered over at you.

“You will do whatever I tell you to do and you will obey me, otherwise, face consequences and receive punishment. After all, you’ve angered me at the same time as well and must deal with what has been given to you. Agreed?” Younghyun gave you a stern look while you gulped a lump in your throat and nodded.

With a soft smile, Younghyun looked into your eyes filled with lust and desire, proceeding to crawl over to your legs and spread them widely apart until he was right at the entrance of your aching but wet vagina, the corner of his lips curling up into a smirk as his eyes sent daggers into yours.

“Will you obey me? Will you do what I say?” A hint of mischief and lust dripping in the corner of his lips, his piercing eyes looking at you fiercely, the brown pupils dilating under the weak light source illuminating through your window.

“J-Just do it already… U-Uugh…” You tried to hold back a moan escaping from your lips when Younghyun leaned closer to them, his breath brushing past your delicate skin as he sent pleasure running down your spine with the touch of his thumb on your clitoris, rubbing it with a slow and consistent motion.

“You’re not to make a sound, Y/N. Not even a little squeak.” He moved to your ear, keeping up the pace near your soaking entrance as he bit your ear lobe sensually. “Remember what you got yourself into. If I can’t help with what I do, then I’ll do anything to let you fix it, and that also results in punishment.”

His pace fastened as he bit softly on the heated skin of your ear, letting his tongue lick it softly before detaching himself and leaving a line of saliva to trail in his path. The slow but increasing change of speed made you shake under his touch, the way they moved and played with your clit sent you into euphoria, making sure you bit your lip to prevent yourself from accidentally letting out a loose moan.

You tugged at your soft and plump lips, your peachy colour being tightly bitten on resulting in a dark cherry tone as Younghyun’s thumb continued to play at your nether region.

“Don’t make a sound, love.” Brian curled his smirk in the corner of his lips at your nickname, reminding you of your punishment as he watched your expression change every once in awhile with his every touch.

You fought hard, hoping and grabbing ahold of the bed sheets tightly as his remaining hand that wasn’t occupied took an object to hold, immediately finding themselves rising into the air and grabbing your breast and rubbing them softly, sending your head to fly back onto your pillow with sweat building on yours skin with extra pleasure.

He nipped at your bud, his fingers twisting and pinching your erect nipple as he leaned down onto your other breast, attaching his smooth lips around your skin and swirling his tongue on your sensitive areas. Your lips were on the verge of being victims of your abuse, your teeth sinking into them deeply, a dark red completely colouring them as you twisted and turned with Younghyun’s every move, he drove you insane. Everything about him drove you insane.

You held back words and moans of pleasure, moving under his touch as you felt your lower region start to cover with your wet and sticky lubricant. He smirked as his thumb grazed the entrance of your vagina, his other hand on your breast moving round faster as you felt bundles of nerves exploding in the pit of your stomach from his touch. You were going crazy from this, you needed him. You needed him right now.

Younghyun took his lips off your nipple after playing with it quite some time, leaving his saliva to glisten in the moonlight. He looked up at you, your eyes tightly closed, hands clenching the bed sheet tightly while your knuckles were turned almost pearly white. He loved watching you fight under his touch, he loved it when his hands would just have a mind of their own and his eyes looked at your beautiful features as they moved according to where he placed his hands and mouth.

“You’re good at being quiet, I see.” Younghyun lowered his voice, a deep and raspy tone emitting from his vocal cords. You opened your eyes to see his black hair dangling in front of his eyes, some of the dark strands sticking to his sweaty forehead as you heard his loud breaths, inhaling and exhaling with each breath. “Are you really sure that you can take further?”

Without warning or any signs to indicate a change, Younghyun’s thumb let go of your clit before his hand next to your entrance outstretched and before you knew it, two of his fingers were inserted into your wet ---, thrusting in and out with fast speed making you to let out an unexpected moan.

With your legs wide apart, your chest rising and falling rapidly, your body covered in sweat and Younghyun’s sweat in yours, you watched with soft eyes as Young K chuckled, immediately removing his fingers from your entrance as a stream of your wet lubricant was painted on his fingers.

“N-N-No, p-please don’t let go now…” You whimpered slightly, shaking under the lose of contact from his skin as he removed both his fingers and hand on your breast away from your body.

“I told you before, Y/N,” Young K spoke deeply, taking his two fingers into his mouth and sucking your wetness clean and pulling it out. “You weren’t allowed to make a single sound, and this was what you were given in return.”

“P-Please, I won’t moan this time. Please Brian, please…” You were needy, your begging getting more persistent as your body was no longer shut down from the frustration of your boss’s nagging earlier. You didn’t care about that at all.

Your body was no screaming for Young K, and Young K only.

Lifting up your hips and bucking them, you attempted to find some way to bring some contact onto the lips of your entrance or your clit, hoping to find some way to feel pleasure. You hand your free hands that were gripping the sheets but you knew that if you were to make a move with them, Young K would punish you more.

That exact thought lit a spark in you.

Since Young K watched you silently as you bite your lip, your hand were removed from the bedsheets and found themselves rubbing on your pussy, your fingers inserted into your wet core as you pull them in and out quickly, moans roughly escaping out of your mouth as all you could do was get yourself into ecstasy.

Younghyun’s dick was hard, perfectly erect as he leaned on his arm, watching you fuck yourself loudly with moans emitted from your lip left and right. He found it hard not to fondled with himself as his girlfriend was touching herself from his own punishment.

He couldn’t except it though. He won’t let you go that easily.

Within only a few seconds of playing with your entrance and breast, Younghyun’s deathly grip of his hands grabbed your wrists and pulled them away from your body, his arm muscles pulling you up from your sweaty position and you sit up with a big brush of cold air on your back before you found yourself with wrists quickly and tightly bound together with a strip of cloth.

“Obey.” Young K only said, tying a knot on the cloth as your hands were tightly stuck together behind your back, restricting your movement. He did not go any further, not blindfolding you or strapping you with a gag or even a vibrator inserted into your wet hole.

“You will do as I say, or else the punishment gets worst, love.” Younghyun smiled, leaning closer towards you and that innocent glint in his eyes looked onto your own, waiting for a response.

“Y-Y-Yes, Brian.” You said his name with the touch of his fingers on your chin, a small giggle coming out past his lips as he gave a quick peck on your lips and before long, Younghyun was standing up and grasping his long, hard member in his hands and pumping it up and down.

With your head and the tip of his dick right in line with each other, the grin on his smile soon began to widen and spread as he watched the pupils in your eyes start to grow. He knew he had dominated and was in total control.

“Suck.” He indicated, watching as the tip of his hard and erect member was pressed against your red and bitten lip, jabbing at your skin as he awaited your action.

With his orders written onto you, you immediately obeyed and did as he said, lips widening and opening up into a hole as you wrapped them around the his member, your tongue covered and licked saliva all over the tip of his dick before your entered slowly and bobbed your head back and forth. Younghyun’s head leaned back beyond his neck, the wave of pleasure running through his body as each bob of your head, his member inserting into your war mouth before pulling out sending him into a sense of pleasure and a feeling of euphoria.

“Ahh, just like that Y/N…” Younghyun moaned, his voice not trapped behind bitten lips or inescapable breaths of air as he freely groaned and moaned as much as he liked. You were jealous of him, how he could be playing at you like this as if you truly deserved it. You knew he was bad at pleasuring himself, and could only do it if you were there to help him. In a situation like this, you couldn’t have imagined it.

“Fuck my dick, just like that…” Your tongue twirled around his the tip of his member as he began to pick up the pace of his penis and helped you assist on your blowjob, his hand placed onto your hair before grabbing it harshly and soon bucking his hips into your mouth.

He let out a loud groan, the tip of his member starting to reach deeper into your mouth as you felt it touch the entrance of your throat. His length entered and pulled out fully, his size blocking you from breathing in some air before he thrusted himself back in, making you gag.

You were almost begging to be touched, you were moaning with each thrust of his dick in hopes of him to pleasure you in some way and tell him, “I need you to fuck me right now.” You were persistant, too persistant as your legs that were kneeling on the white blankets parted ways, a brush of cold air hitting the yet again wet pussy of yours.

“You’re so amazing, Y/N, oh my god.” Younghyun moaned loudly, his thrusts becoming faster and quicker with each motion and without warning, the feeling of his member twitching inside of your mouth told you a sign, a few more thrusts in before Young K let out a long, outstretched moan as a hot stream of cum filled up your mouth.

The bitterness of his warm cum tingled at the back of your throat as he pulled out his member, letting his body dropped down after standing up on the mattress for so long and went to reach the same height as you. Breathing heavily as each exasperated breath made his chest rise and fall, you looked up at him as he leaned in and whispered into your ear with his cum in your mouth.

“Swallow.” He told you, brushing his slick and smooth finger across your sweaty cheeks as he heard the sound of you gulp down his contents, your breath finally regulating after struggling to receive oxygen from the blowjob from earlier.

You bowed your head to place your forehead on his chest, the amount of light coming in from the open window shining on the surface of Younghyun’s skin as it traced every bicep, every chiseled abs on his abdomen and his strong, thick thighs that were rock hard after using them to thrust into your mouth earlier.

“You’ve been a good girl, haven’t you, treating your boyfriend like this and obeying my rules like I told you.” He smirked and chuckled, reaching his hands behind your back to untie the tight cloth that was binding your hands together. Not realizing how severe your twisting and twirling was, as soon as Young K finished unraveling the cloth from around your hands, the purple and blue bruises were painted on your skin from your attempt to break out of them as you finally got used to the non-existence of the cloth in the way.

“You kept torturing me, Younghyun.” You let out a low sentence, soothing your wrists by rubbing them softly as Young K went to take your hands in his, leaning in to leave pecks on your skin to help aid your pain.

“That is what you are given if you don’t give what is meant to be returned, Y/N.” Young K smirked and gave you a wink, only to get a sudden shock when you pulled him into your body, arms wrapped around his neck as you swiftly switched places with each other.

With eyes wide open and a gasp leaving his mouth, Younghyun found himself being swapped around with your place as you pressed your palm onto his chest, making him fall back onto the pillow and bed sheet.

“You aren’t going to leave me unattended, Kang Younghyun.” You dropped an octave on his full name as your boyfriend tried to move from your deathly press, only resulting in him getting turned on by your sudden but shocking dominance on him.

“What do you think you’re doing, Y/N?” He said your name, watching with curious eyes as you leaned your naked body over his own bare one, your lips coming closer to attached themselves to his as they bit on the bottom lip, tongues brushing against each other and his hand soon rubbing the back of your head softly.

“I’m obviously doing what’s right, Brian.” You smirked, breaking the quick kiss before your lips started to head down his body, leaving behind soft pecks on his skin, from his collarbone, to his pumped up chest muscles, his abs and eventually, the area close to his member.

“Fuck, you’re going to make me hard again, Y/N, please don’t do this.” He confessed, getting eager to feel your lips touch his aching member again as all you did was let a shallow breath brush against the tip of his dick.

You stopped right where you were as soon as Young K had said that sentence.

“Well, I don’t see a reason why I should if after all, you’ve already come once and I haven’t.” You smirked and giggled when you noticed Younghyun’s face fall into an expression of realization. “I’d expect it to be opposite but it turns out that I am yet to feel that wave of pleasure rush through me again.”

With a sudden motion, you quickly sat yourself up above his member that was already rock hard from your slow teasing and dirty word play earlier, your core dripping with your love juices when you lifted up his dick, and without a word or sign, you immediately bounced down onto him, the size of his cock penetrating deep into your pussy as you let a long and awaited moan leave your lips.

Young K moaned in time with yours, your heat warming up his dick as he felt your walls tightened around his length as it had been a long time since he last fucked you hard right on the very spot. Both of your eyes closed, your heads leaning back in bliss as it had taken you only a few seconds to adjust to your boyfriend’s enormous size before beginning to bounce on his length.

“F-Fuck, Y/N, oh my god, Fuck!” Young K let out a stream of curse words to leave his mouth as he had let his voice do all the talking, his mind going completely blank as you rode his dick with every bounce, leaving your wet pussy completely before inserting his member fully back in.

You rode his member at a slowly increasing speed, your moans often leaving your lips at his size as you focused on your pleasure. It was something like never before. You had sex with him all the time and yet, you had never felt any pleasure like this until now.

“Ahh, Younghyun, shit, you’re so fucking big…” You moaned loudly with curse words leaving your lips, starting to go faster as sweat dripped down your forehead one by one, your hair becoming a mess and sticking to your skin. Younghyun’s hands were placed on the side of your hips, helping you bounce on his length when you were struggling to keep up with his own bucking hips. As his thumbs jabbed at your hipbone, encouraging you to go faster, your voice began to let out a cry.

“Unng, Brian, I-I’m going to c-cum…” You cried out and with another two more thrusts, it wasn’t long before Younghyun’s member would be covered in your cum as you recovered from your orgasm, a long ride as the pleasure washed through your body.

“Hold on, Y/N, I need some help here too.” He asked and tightly grasped onto the side of your body. Using his strength, he flipped you over and in a second, you were underneath his body as he towered over you and his sweaty, glistening naked figure in the moonlight was fierce, pumped with large muscles as you knew a surprise was coming your way.

“If you got to cum, then I’ll make you cum again if it means I get to orgasm as well.” Younghyun told you with a hint of a smirk in his words before thrusting his entire length into you suddenly, letting you scream out his name with your head thrown back in pleasure from his thrust.

“Oh my god, fuck, Young K, please, please!” You yelled, not a care in the world if your neighbours next door or down the road would wake up to sound of you and Young K’s moaning voice at 3AM in the morning.

“’Please’ what, Y/N? I can’t hear you properly.” He jokingly asked you, leaning in as if pretending not to understand your cries from before as each deep thrust inserted his member into your aching wet core, making a line of your juices drip onto the perfectly white blanket.

“Please, please fuck me, fuck me so hard that I cum, I want to cum with you.”

With that order made on your command, he smiled and used his fingers to brush a strand of hair from off your face that covered your eyes.

“As you wish.”

Immediately speeding up his pace, you were already on the edge of orgasming as each thrust sent your body into a mixture of all sorts of feelings, knots tied inside your tightening pussy as pleasure, bliss and passion was flowing through your blank mind, Young K’s thrusts going at a speed that you thought was deemed impossible for someone to go so fast.

“Ahh, Y/N! Fuck!” Young K yelled loudly as he clenched his teeth, digging them into his lips as his hard dick entered and pulled away at lightning speed, the walls of your pussy slowly begin to tightened around them as you scratched at his back.

“Make me cum, make me cum…” You muttered into his ears as his fast pace was consistent, it never lost energy, it never lost it’s pace as it had never slowed down in the process. Pulling his body closer to yours, your skin was rubbing against his own as his thrust took a turn and before you could tell him to move a different direction, you felt the tip of his dick jab at a certain spot of your core walls, making you scream and dig your sharp nails into the skin on his back, positively sure that they were leave obvious marks there.

“Oh my god, Young K! Right there!” You could only say his name as you were letting out moan after moan with the new sensation washing into you as your boyfriend repeatedly thrusted into that spot, Young K’s thrusts bringing you into a point where you felt that familiar tying knot in the pit of your stomach.

As his thrusted with all his energy, Younghyun let out a strong groan as he lifted his head up in pleasure.

“I’m going to cum!” You called out, yelling into his ear as you were close.

“Me too, Y/N, me too.”

With another thrust or so, you felt your body fall weak and motionless as you let out a cry, riding out your orgasm with Younghyun’s member still inside you, feeling his cum start to fill you up inside with each twitch that came from his dick.

You breathed in and out with no words to describe that feeling you experienced just then with your boyfriend. Feeling your boyfriend’s member slowly start removing from inside you, he pulled out his entire length leaving a pool of cum to fall from your entrance. Using your remaining energy to turn your weakened body around, your eyes landed on the digital clock sitting on the bedside table, slightly shifted in place from what you expected to be your fun time with Young K.

4:02 AM.

Your boyfriend dropped down beside you, his heavy breathes could be heard clearly as you turned to wrap an arm around his sweaty, sticky and bare waist.

“That was uncalled for.” You laughed and poked a finger at his skin.

“Yeah, it was honestly.” Young K giggled too and rested his hand on yours. “I literally didn’t expect it to go this far, that was until you pulled that move on me and we resulted in this.”

“Who’s going to clean the bed sheets?” You questioned looking up at him.

“Why don’t we both do it together? A majority of this problem goes to me.”

“Oh come on, I made it this messy. It just felt too good you know.” You confessed to Young K’s doing which made him smile with that cheeky grin of his.

“See, I knew I would win you over eventually. You can’t beat anything over pleasure, Y/N.” You laughed at his statement as he went to boop a finger onto your nose.

“Are you feeling much better now though?”

“So much better. I don’t feel so frustrated anymore.” You told him, raising an eyebrow realising one certain problem you had to face. “I may not be able to walk in the morning though, that’s the thing.”

Young K just laughed it out and pulled you into a hug, grabbing onto the edge of the blankets and pulling it over both of your naked bodies before pressing his forehead on yours.

“That doesn’t matter, as long as you’re not frustrated, stressed or anything else, then I’m fine as well.”

With a tug on the corner of your lips, you looked into his eyes that were shining in the moonlight.

“I love you so much, Brian.”

“I love you so much more.”

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satire-please · 7 years

Text

My Teeth Are Like Swords

Summary: Because I like the irony of Tim Drake being a fire-breathing Drake too much...

Tim waits under the huge clock at City Hall for midnight. He doesn’t know why all city halls like to sport a giant clock like it’s all the rage, but whatever. It seems like the best place for a bit of melodrama. (Besides, he’s taken tips from the best drama queen cough starts with a ‘B’ and rhymes with juice cough). The hand strikes the top and the clock booms, each gong vibrating his body underneath the clock face and finally—finally—Tim turns eighteen.

And Tim Drake Wayne gets what he’s been waiting for.

Sparks crackle under his tongue as his pupils narrow for a moment to take in the stars through the miles of smog. His skin ripples impatiently as his mother’s magic bubbles up and wakes in his bones at last. Finally, he thinks rubbing his chest at the fire that freaking hurts thank you very much right under his sternum. That’s gonna take awhile to get used to. Finally, he smiles when he looks down his shirt to see the muted glow flickering in time with his heartbeat. Ready to burn when necessary.

It's beyond totally rad.

Awaking his inner core is like being Robin for the first time again. Where everything is brand new: the sights, the smells, even the air tastes fresh with chemicals Tim can only begin to decipher coating his roof of his mouth. His heart beats hard at how exciting and dangerous it all is, just enough to make normal people run away screaming.

But then again when has he ever been normal?

Not since Mother set him on her knee to tell him what he is, what she is. Tim absentmindedly pulls off a gauntlet to claw the side of the building, trying to soothe his itching and aching nails as flashes of her pass through his mind.

Like the night when Mother thawed enough to remember her duties to her clutch egg. The eight-year-old boy fitting tight in her lap as she tends to his hands.

“We’re lucky your claws are soft enough for obsidian,” she muses as she efficiently moves from digit to digit, the volcanic glass snipping quickly. “When you’re older you'll have to grind them down with something more...durable, metal for instance, over and over to sharpen them to your liking.”

(Like he’s doing now. Augh. He’ll have to find a parking garage or something. Somewhere loud enough to cover the screeching nails on chalkboard sound, somewhere where the grooves he’s making will go unnoticed.)

The boy bounces once or twice and then bites his lip. “Mother?”

“Yes, my pet?”

“Did you marry Dad because his name was Drake?” Tim asks, looking up. There’s a scale somewhere at the base of her jaw, he just knows it.

“No.” But her tone mildly suggests otherwise. At Tim’s sceptical face she adds, “It might have made me more susceptible to his advances, however.”

“Oh my gosh, you so did.” His mom kept his dad over a pun.

Janet hums, bemused at her clutch child. What a silly thing. When his nails are done, she grooms his hair, double-checking for signs to hide. A charm or two can go a long way. Besides, she and Jack leave in the morning and it will not do for one of hers to be unkempt. Sometimes she wonders if the only reason she convinces Jack to return is for this, to sate the itch, the biting lips, the shaking of her fingers that will only stop if she checks and accounts for the hoard. Not that her human mate knows that everything in the quiet mansion is a part of her treasure.

“Are you ever going to tell Dad?”

“Tell him what?” She goes still. Her child is growing clever too fast. Not as easily placated as before.

Tim carefully moves, tracing the lone black piece that glimmers in the hollow under her ear.

She cocked her head at him, the crack her neck makes is unnatural. Her eyes flare a tiny bit bringing the purple out of them, the same purple that hides in Tim’s eyes. “No. Humans always panic.”

Tim cringes. “Always?”

“Always. And their weapons, their toys, my pet? Have gotten much, much better.” At his crestfallen face, she swoops down to press a kiss to his forehead. It burns. He knows there will be a light mark tomorrow, but he’ll still treasure it and outline where it used to be when it’s long gone. “Besides I’ve already decided to spend the rest of my days in this form with your father. Why tell him about something he’ll never see?”

The notion is irritating and Janet refuses to waste time considering it. Humans are so hard to convince. Hard to convince that the idea of your being is real and then hard to convince that you mean them no harm. Janet huffs. A dragon’s patience is not limitless.

“Well, don’t you need to tell him about me?” He peers at her through his bangs.

Janet purses her lips. “Perhaps. We do not know how your father’s blood will mix with mine. We’ll see if it’s necessary when you come of age...but I doubt when your lessons are done that you’d be so foolish to slip and reveal yourself.” A hint to fang escapes her at the thought.

Tim gulped loudly.

“Oh, stop that. Your emotions are too clear, Timothy. Remember: cold face, cold voice. Let no one know your belly’s hot.”

Tim schools his face and tries his last question. “Do you really have to go?”

“Oh, my son, one day you will understand the call to find, to take, and hoard for yourself. But never collect people, Timothy.” Her sharp nails rake carefully over his scalp. The next words are softer, almost gentle for the ruthless woman. “Humans are too hard to keep, they don’t stay where you leave them...your heart weeps when they never stay.”

(Tim should have listened. There’s an old ache beyond the fire in his veins. Steph, Kon, Bart, Bruce...Dick. Yeah. He was an idiot. Then again...he shouldn’t have thought they were his in the first place.)

She turns him and settles the young child into bed. Pats the covers and turns off the lights. “If nothing else comforts you, remember this...you and your father are the only people in my hoard.” The glow of her eyes lulls him to sleep.

And the phrase did comfort him. No matter how rare it was for her to be warm, no matter how long their ‘trips’ were, no matter how utterly alone he felt among the priceless antiques and artifacts that multiplied over the years. He had a place to belong.

He was hers.

She just wasn't...his.

In the present, he stands and shakes himself loose from the wall. The others will be coming for him soon. Or at least Dick will. Something about birthday wishes and all that. You never know what is really going to hit the vigilante as super important, though it’s funny to see him shake up the bunch of bats. Tim even thinks he saw Damian kicking wrapping paper under the bed. Dick really did a number on him.

“Drake!”

Speak of the devil and he shall appear. Tim smirks, and slips from the roof to meet the boy on another. (Gotta leave the evidence behind somehow, right?). He hears boots clip the side of the building with an angry huff.

Too bad Mother’s adages have their limits. The traditional favorite of ‘Eat him’ is just not going to cut it. No matter how tempting the solution is whenever Damian decides to be annoying, or vicious.

It’s regrettable sometimes.

Luckily, the boy has mellowed out from ‘let me stab you’ to ‘let me stab your insecurities’. It’s progress. Dick is so proud.

“Where have you been?” Damian snarls, getting up into Tim’s space. “Father and others have been wasting precious time looking for you everywhere. Even Grayson has cut back patrol for this ridiculous farce of a celebration.”

“Oh, did he? I didn’t get the memo.”

“Yes, you did,” the preteen hisses. “Grayson has sent text messages all day. If you say your phone has not been vibrating itself into oblivion, then you shall be the filthiest liar in my association.”

Aw, Tim feels so honored. “My phone is dead?”

Damian puffs up and Tim with his new sight can even see his face flush red in the dark. “Must you be absolutely impossible? How could you–” He freezes and sniffs the air primly. Then he turns to the man enraged. “Drake...have you been smoking?”

“Why would I be–yes.” Tim switches tracks so fast his own head spins a little. “Yes. I’ve been smoking.” Fuck, he didn’t think that effect would take place so soon. He swallows down the version of nitroglycerin lingering in his mouth awkwardly and breathes through his nose to drown his sparks. But hey, the excuse would work, huh? Even mother carried a box of cigarettes just in case.

“Alfred shall be most displeased.” Damian narrows his eyes in disapproval.

“Well, Alfred should know that I’ve turned eighteen. I’m now an official adult. Free to destroy my body in any way I choose like the Waynes before me. Be grateful that I’ve picked my vice in coffee and smoke instead of the horrible wiles of flesh...like Dick.”

The line earns him a wrinkled nose and glare. “You are completely despicable, Drake.”

“I am,” Tim continues. “But don’t you fear, you won’t catch me smoking. Ever. No secondhand smoke ruining your lungs for you.”

“How beyond gracious of you,” Damian snorts. Tim smiles. Damian pushes on his back towards the edge of the building. “Now come. Everyone is waiting for you and you will not waste my time a second more.

For that, Tim deliberately takes the long way home, just to hear Damian angrily spew curses behind him. It’s his birthday, let him have this.

He takes into account other changes in the meantime. His steps are a little quicker, his jumps higher, longer until he uses his grappling hook only as a means to not to arouse suspicion to the boy struggling to keep up behind him until Tim actually slows down to keep the distance between them short. He bets he’s stronger too, but any other tests will have to wait. He’s probably not as strong as a meta, like Kon or Clark...not like this of course, but it won’t be something to laugh at.

Like how well his skin can take a hit..or a bullet now.

Poor B. The Bats really pride themselves on being completely powerless. Using tools and toys to compete with the whole superhero community (and generally come out kicking all their asses). Tim was gonna have to work twice as hard to cover up his tracks to avoid any...realizations. It’ll take a detective to fool a detective or take a few more ‘Titan’ missions out of Gotham to keep things under wraps. Missions that are more working on the tight pinch growing between his shoulder blades that’s starting to get real annoying. After a few hours he’ll definitely have to find a place to shift soon. Shed skin and fly until light cracks over the dirty city.

Will he have the same coloring as Mother? Dark ebony scales that merge into the night? Is he the size of a horse? A house?

Tim can’t wait to find out.

“H-Hurry up, Drake!” Damian wheezes when he gets the lead for a second or two. You know, when Tim pauses enough to let him catch up.

“Coming.”

He can’t wait to see what kind of Drake he is. In his ear, he can almost hear an echo of his Mother’s voice.

‘Happy Birthday...my pet.’

Happy Birthday indeed.

#actual maternal Janet #Janet Drake #tim drake #Dragon Tim #Love me some Dragon Tim #my writing

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journalofacreep-blog · 6 years

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“I’m what you call a creep but don’t start to run away already”

I’ve been looking at his snapchat story and here I am being jealous like an idiot. I know there’s no reason for that and nothing can justify my childish behaviour, but I can’t keep it in. I choke my inner voice not to let others see the gasps that resonate in me. I love him and it’s not like it’s requited. We only met once, and the conditions were quite bad to be completely honest. Since then, I’ve been trying to go over it but people like me don’t have it all that easy. People like me. Creeps. Or what other people call creep. Those who are not your basic commoner and whose difference triggers hatred, because let’s face it, none of that is about fear. Rejection is about laziness and tightness of mind. I’ve never been a snapchat user and when I met him on that dating app, I just thought “Why not? Try it. Mimic people your age, nothing that bad can actually happen”. Sometimes, I should let my inner voice talk more and listen carefully to what it says. To be entirely fair, I knew what was gonna happen, but I just dodged reality like you dodge a lost ball. Badly. You pretend it didn’t touch you, but you can feel that your skin already started bruising the second you took the hit.

I love him and people like me mean it when they say it. When they realise it. It starts growing slowly in you and never really stops. Unless you get interested in someone else, as terrible as it sounds. Everything is so quick yet so strong, so intense. Nothing becomes everything and before you open your eyes to stare at the atrocious reality, you’re already lost in it. Feet stuck in the ground, marshes pulling you further in the absurdity of your feelings.

Maybe he didn’t help. Maybe he pushed me in that situation as well as he wanted to get something in return. But the only one that is now obsessed is me and only me. People like me, those creeping out about their own destructive feelings, you medically call them borderline, coming from borderline personality disorder. That’s not the only characteristic about it that makes social interaction a real pain in the neck, but it’s surely the one that is the most complex to control and causes so much pain on the way. Falling madly in love because of details, because of a gaze, because of a word. It’s so easy yet so difficult to not fall in the trap that your own mind creates. You’re the prisoner of something too big to carry on your back, so you just let yourself get swallowed and try not to smother in your uncertainty and fear.

And whatever you do, every time you know you will fall back into the same pattern, because the only way to get out of it is to jump in another one holding your breath, hoping for the best.

So yeah, I was talking about that guy I met online maybe 3 months ago. I normally don’t feel attracted to guys. To tall guys, pale and with such square jaws. But I suppose type changes with time, or it’s just maybe not a thing after all. If you want the honest truth, I just feel like I grew to like his appearance. Snapchat is that kind of social media: you send pictures, you receive pictures, you show pretty much all of the uninteresting things about yourself and wait for someone to comment on it. I always thought it was so narcissistic to be using it, and look at what I became, posting stuff as well to try and reach him when his ignorance turns too strong and painful.

I can’t remember when he started ignoring me. Maybe after the day we met, or should I say the night we met. Went to his house because mine is a fucking joke. The heater exploded, kind of, and water flooded everywhere. Except the day after, I had to go to work after uni and raging so badly, completely powerless, I posted something on my story. Of course, the knight on his magnificent white horse came to me with a solution and here was the plan: at 8 in the morning, I was supposed to join him for breakfast, take a shower and take him to uni as he more or less dropped out. I was supposedly his ‘’motivation’’ to go. At that time, we were still sending messages day and night. Before he got bored of me. Or I assume he did.

Upset as I was, I couldn’t sleep. A little detail could keep me awake for hours sometimes and this night, the anger about the whole leek thing and the excitement of meeting that boy prevented me from finding sleep. What if I didn’t wake up in the morning, and missed him? To be honest, the whole thing was more about meeting him than the actual shower I had to take. And at 4am, we were still talking. Still. Always talking late as he can’t sleep. He’s got his own issues and has nightmares often. From what he told me. I remember the few texts we exchanged at that point. He must have forgotten, his short-term memory is quite bad, or maybe that’s just what he likes me to think.

“Not sure I’m gonna be able to wake up at 8 tomorrow. You should just come now”

“You’re really tempting me”

“Come over”

And I just went. I didn’t fight. Didn’t think about what it meant. What it could mean for him. What it would mean for me.

I can remember meeting him really clearly. He just hugged me with the door of his flat still open. Cute. I thought he was extremely cute. I like cuddly people. He likes to be cuddled as well, he likes when you touch his hair, that’s what he told me a few times, comparing himself to a cat. I must admit, his hair was soft, nice to touch, nice to play with. Just a little bit longer than the average guy. He had to cut it later on because of his mom, apparently she likes it better short. I remember every ‘’Sorry’’ he said when he touched me, slightly brushed my skin or when he kept me close to him. His thin arms were so strong, I felt protected. For the first time in my life, I felt protected by someone else even though he was an absolute stranger. I just felt good, warm and incredibly relaxed. I was surely nervous, surely stiff but all I could think about was my heart pounding in my chest, ready to explode, and his hands shaking on me.

Soon, he tried kissing my neck. And oh god, it was good. He knew that it was my most sensitive area, the one way too sensible for someone I don’t know to be touching that quickly. I let him do a few more times, until my breath went wilder, and my voice twisted, getting lost in the room. I forgot about his flatmates. I forgot about everything and he will never know what kind of effect he had on me at that time because I can’t let myself tell him. The room is dark in my memory, but his window lets some light come in, which allows me to see briefly his face. He’s aroused. He’s turned on. I turn him on. The idea of it makes my heart flutter and my confidence rises a little bit. Now that I think about it, it could’ve been another girl and it would’ve been the same. I just feel like he wanted sex. Doesn’t matter with who, or how. He just wanted it as a physical need. And maybe I needed it as well. But I didn’t surrender. “Your moans are so cute”

I’m a virgin. I did some stuff with my ex-girlfriend but that’s not what you call “having sex”. I didn’t want to jump that big of a step on the first night meeting him. I just didn’t want to give away that kind of gift to someone who didn’t know, didn’t consider this as much as me, and surely didn’t want the same thing as me. I was right. But I need to confess that I wanted it. I regret. I regret not giving it to him and I hate myself not to have tried it. I wanted him. I wanted him to go further, to find me attractive and cute. To find some beauty in me, a “me” that I hate so much for so many reasons. I got scared, I acted reasonable as every other time in my life, I backed off. And maybe it was the right thing to do, maybe I would’ve regretted it even more if I had let myself get taken away that night. But maybe I wouldn’t have. Maybe things would not have turned that way and we would be closer, seeing each other more often, spending time together. Now that I re-read my whole big essay on “How to be an idiot and a creep and such a coward”, I’m ashamed to find that I’m still so fond of him after so many weeks. One month after meeting him, I got rejected without even saying anything.

“You’re a very good friend to me. It was clear to me that I didn’t want anything romantic with you from the day we met. That’s why I didn’t try to see you again. I’m too unstable.”

It hit me so hard. I thought there was hope. I thought he was busy and didn’t have time to meet up. I didn’t want to be a bother. I didn’t want to annoy anyone. Being my unlovable casual self, I fucked everything up. I talked about it with my two best friends, and they told me he was the one in the wrong. He should’ve said it sooner. But according to them, he was just continually testing the water to see If I could drown in it. Maybe I could come back to his bed, give what he wanted.

As retarded as it appears, I apologized that night.

“Sorry not to be able to give you the kind of fun you want”

I felt like I was the one not compatible, the one doing the bad thing again. He said that I didn’t have to say sorry, but still today, I feel like the broken piece in the machinery. What if? What if I went back to him that night. But I didn’t. And since then, I can’t get him out of my head. Even more than before. I dated another guy for a week and about after that, tried to get over him, but horrifyingly, I was constantly thinking about him while seeing the other one. It was just awkward, and that uneasiness was way too much. We didn’t get that between him and me and the familiar feeling was lacking. I wanted him back. If I knew, I would’ve spent this night differently. I would’ve cuddled more, certainly kissed and talked less. Words are so insignificant when it comes to reality. Talk is so overrated.

I’m not cute. I’m not fit. I’m not particularly intelligent and I talk loudly and appear rude to most people. My anxiety around others leads me to do those things I don’t want to do. It’s just panic, then act and then regret. I feel that void in me and would like someone to fill it with whatever they want, except pain. I’ve got enough of pain. Someone told me to fill it myself but it’s never the same feeling. I felt complete that morning, when he buried his head against my tummy, his head on my lap with his hair tickling my skin, breathing in the perfume exuding from my jersey. I brushed his bangs and I can remember those two eyes. He flipped over and took me back with him on the mattress. This time, it was my head buried against his neck and I didn’t recognize my voice when I talked. Damn, I felt like an idiot. I was scared. I was full of hope. I just wanted him not to regret meeting me after seeing my nasty self in full daylight.

“You’re not disappointed?”

“Of what?”

“Me. Disappointed in me. “

“No, why would I?”

“Most of the people are after they meet me”

“Oh yeah, I’m sure the whole city is..”

His wit made me fall. His way of making me feel relieved, making me feel good about myself, better. It was just something about him that saved me at that time when I was starting to fall back into the darkness. Though it lost me again when everything happened after that. I will never forget it. That night during when I did the craziest thing of my whole existence. And I’m scared to write those last words as I reach the flat bottom of my thoughts about you. I’m scared because I will have to stop looking for you in the library when I go through the group study, even though it stresses me out so much to look at people in the eyes, because I will have to stop answering your messages at one point, stop sending you messages, stop posting stories hoping you will see them, hoping you will think about me even for one second. I’m scared to be alone again, and I’m scared to lose those laughs you create when I read your silly messages or open your stupid snaps about your daily life that doesn’t include me. Yeah, I longed to be part of your life and you being part of mine. I wanted, and always tried, to make you feel better when you felt shit. And I’m happy you’re going back to uni correctly. More or less, I don’t even know. I’m happy you don’t drink as much as before and you seem to be more serious about everything. I’m happy you’re happy but I’m broken again and I blame my disorder for getting attached so quickly, to be so intoxicated with you but I just dodge the problem once and again. I tried to escape so many times I’m bruised all over and it hurts like hell. I gulped my feeling and swallowed the pain during all that time, and I’m scared to press the ‘’block’’ button because it will only affect me I’m sure. Because you told me to do what’s best for me and what’s gonna make me happy, because you certainly don’t care about me being there or not, as I’m not even really there. But I’m scared and I’m sad, and I feel like crying in front of my computer, typing those words that you will never read. Cause if you did, you would certainly call me ‘’creep’’.

#borderline borderlinepersonalitydisorder disorders journalofacreep

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