#I can always make exceptions depending on priority or time

[tamelee]

Hi Tamelee! I love your art with a passion. If one day you accept commissions, please let us know! Enjoy the day!

Hi Nonee that is so sweet thank you so much 😭💕 I will do that! I’m planning to start accepting them officially at the end of September- I’ll definitely let you know ^^! Enjoy your day too~

[erodasfishtacos]

My Heart's in Overdrive (& You're Behind the Steering Wheel)

prompt: harry can't catch a break, can't give an explanation, and can only watch how things play out

word count: 3.5k

warnings: angsts, descriptions of anxiety, anxiety attacks, depression

author's note:

I upload a piece of writing every 1-2 days.

There are multiple other parts of this up and will be updated this month

I recently started a second tier called The OG Tier where 2

one shots (1-4kish) are posted a week.

There are currently 350 + pieces available to read

Tier I - $3 USD where you get access to main stories, everything except the mini one shots.

Tier II - $5 USD where you get access to every piece of writing!

you can check it out here

first FIFTEEN to click here can get a free $5 membership for a month!

-

PART I & PART II

Harry was spiraling.

His mind raced as he tried to formulate an escape plan from the PR date with Tessa. 

He had no recollection of signing the contract, yet there it was, his signature staring back at him like an ironclad promise when Sonny forwarded it to him after getting off the phone call. 

He must have agreed to this at some point, perhaps in a moment of weakness or sheer oversight but he really tried to avoid these types of things.


Even when YN wasn't back in the picture, Harry never enjoyed going on scheduled dates with more pressure than when there aren’t paparazzi and PR teams breathing down his neck.

Regardless, it was binding, and now he had to figure out how to explain it to YN.

God, YN. How was he supposed to tell her? 

Every time they seemed to make progress, something always pulled them back, and this time, it was his fault yet again.

It was like a cruel cycle, one where YN put in all the effort, consistently showing up, prioritizing their relationship, while he let his career obligations dictate their course. 

He wanted to be the kind of partner she deserved, someone who balanced it all effortlessly, but he just kept failing.

Now, he felt caged, not by steel bars or shackles, but by ink on paper—contracts, commitments, and obligations he had no way of breaking without severe consequences. 

The industry was ruthless, and if he backed out, he would be dealing with more than just YN’s disappointment. 

Legal battles, financial repercussions, and a tarnished reputation loomed over him like a dark cloud. 

He couldn't afford to be reckless, not when so many people depended on him.

But YN deserved more than this. 

More than him constantly expecting her to understand, to be flexible, to accept being second priority. 

He had leaned on that grace too many times before, and each time, it chipped away at their foundation.

When he tried to call her, it went straight to voicemail. 

A sinking feeling settled in his gut as he checked their text messages and saw that she had put her phone on ‘Do Not Disturb’ for the night.

Fuck.

He couldn’t tell her over text.

How would he even phrase it?

Hey, thanks for the phone sex. By the way, I have a PR date tomorrow morning. Forgot to mention it, but don’t worry—it’s just with the face of Levi’s and totally meaningless.

Yeah, that would go over well.

He wasn’t stupid.

He remembered the comments she had made about his dating history, about his pattern of dating models. 

He could already picture the look on her face when she found out. 

It wasn’t just about the date—it was about what it represented, about the ways it reaffirmed her fears, her insecurities, the ways he had hurt her before. 

This wasn’t just another misstep. 

It was another confirmation that maybe, just maybe, she wasn’t as important to him as she should be. 

And that wasn’t true. 

It wasn’t. 

Because if they had been talking at the point, Harry would have never signed something like that.

Ever ever ever.

But how could he convince her of that when everything pointed to the opposite?

A tightness gripped his chest, his breathing becoming shallow as his body flooded with panic. 

The weight of it clawed at him, rising up his throat, making his entire body feel like it was on fire. 

He recognized the signs of an anxiety attack before it fully took hold. 

Without thinking, he moved off the bed and into the bathroom, turning the shower on. 

The water was lukewarm, leaning towards cold as he stepped under it, grunting at the ice pelting against the heat of his tender skin.

He needed to ground himself, to regain control, but it wasn’t working.

YN. 

He needed YN.

She was the only one who ever knew how to de-escalate him. 

The only one who could tell when he was getting overwhelmed before he even noticed it himself. 

She had always been that person for him, the calm in the storm, the one who never wavered.

++

YN had always been the calm one, the emotionally regulated anchor in a world that often felt crazy and unpredictable. 

No matter how chaotic the situation or how intense the emotions around her, YN remained a steady presence, someone who could be relied upon to bring balance when everything else seemed to be falling apart.. 

Where others might react impulsively or allow their emotions to take control, YN always found a way to maintain her composure. 

She didn’t rush into decisions or speak without thought; instead, she took the time to process her feelings, allowing herself to fully understand them before responding.

While her friends were often swept up in the storm of their own inner worlds—tossed between the highs of fleeting joy and the lows of uncertainty—YN remained anchored. 

People often marveled at her ability to handle even the most difficult situations with such ease.

Whether it was dealing with a personal conflict, facing an academic challenge, or simply navigating the everyday ups and downs of teenage life, YN always seemed to handle everything with poise. 

Her ability to stay calm in the face of stress wasn’t just a skill; it was a natural part of who she was, a defining characteristic that made her not only emotionally mature for her age but also incredibly wise beyond her years.

Sometimes, YN would get called ‘possessive’ or ‘jealous’ by other girls, and while the words stung, they never quite understood the reality of the situation.

 The assumptions made about her stemmed from one simple fact—no one else ever really got a chance alone with Harry.

 It wasn’t for lack of trying on their part; they all wanted their opportunity to charm him, to see if they could catch his attention, to experience what it would be like to have his undivided focus on them for even a few minutes. 

But it never seemed to happen.

YN was always there, ‘hogging’ him, as they put it, as if he were a prized possession rather than a person with his own agency.

But that couldn’t have been further from the truth.

What they failed to see, what they never took the time to understand, was the unspoken language that existed between YN and Harry. 

They didn’t notice the small, intimate moments that passed between them, the subtle ways they reassured one another, the effortless way they navigated social situations as a unit. \

They didn’t see how, upon arriving at the bonfire at their friend’s house, Harry had gently tugged YN’s hand before she could wander too far, his fingers latching onto hers with a kind of desperation that most people wouldn’t have caught. 

His voice, laced with the kind of nervous energy that only she could recognize, had been quiet but firm when he murmured, “Nut, don’t go too far, please.”

And she understood. 

She always did.

 She didn’t roll her eyes or dismiss his worry. 

She simply nodded, offering him a warm smile that told him she wasn’t going anywhere. 

“I won’t,” YN promised.

Years later, when Harry looked back on this time in his life, he would be struck by how profound their communication had been, how mature their connection was despite their age. 

They had operated on a level far beyond their years, always seeming ot balancing each other out in ways that most adults still struggled to achieve.

“What’s your number?” She had asked him then, her voice soft yet steady, knowing exactly what he needed without him having to say it outright.

“A five,” Harry had replied quietly, almost ashamed to admit it. 

There had been a time when he resented the question, when it made him feel weak, as though acknowledging his anxiety somehow diminished his strength as a man. 

He had been conditioned to believe that vulnerability equated to weakness, that expressing discomfort was something to be embarrassed about. 

But YN had helped him see the truth—that it was okay to feel this way, that it didn’t make him any less of a man.

If anything, it made him stronger.

YN would always remind him in a teasing but truthful tone, “Vulnerability is sexy.”

Despite his social anxiety, Harry never let it stand in the way of being there for YN. 

If someone was giving her a hard time, he wouldn’t hesitate to step in. 

If she needed defending, he was her first line of protection. 

His anxiety never existed in those moments because his love for her was bigger than the fear that usually controlled him. 

He put her first—always even when it meant pushing his own emotions aside.

And yet, he hadn’t realized just how much she had helped him, just how much he had relied on her, until she was gone.

He got too comfortable.

When they broke up, everything unraveled. 

Suddenly, he was alone in social situations, navigating unfamiliar territory without the safety net she had unknowingly provided. 

There was no buffer anymore, no one to subtly swoop in with an excuse when things got too overwhelming, no one to read the slight changes in his demeanor and pull him aside before the panic took hold.

Instead, he was left to face it all on his own, and the weight of it was crushing.

It wasn’t just the heartbreak of losing YN that drained him; it was the combination of grief and his anxiety spiraling unchecked.

It became a vicious cycle—his anxiety feeding into his depression, his depression making his anxiety worse. 

Every social event, every team function, every new situation felt unbearable without her presence beside him. 

He hadn’t even begun to recover when he attempted therapy, but that, too, had left him feeling even more lost.

The therapist’s skepticism had been like a slap to the face.

“If you are as anxious as you say, why would you ever choose to be a professional football player?”

The question had floored him.

He hadn’t known how to answer it. 

It wasn’t that he had chosen this career because it was easy for him—it was that football was the one place where his anxiety didn’t control him. 

On the field, he wasn’t the nervous guy struggling to make small talk at a team dinner. 

He was fast, he was focused, he was powerful. 

Football had been his escape, the only place where his mind quieted long enough for him to feel normal. 

But the therapist hadn’t understood that. 

Instead of helping him work through his struggles, they had made him doubt himself even more.

After that session, he never went back.

His anxiety continued to gnaw at him, unchecked, until it became suffocating. 

The only thing that seemed to help, even just a little, was the cold water. 

Showers, swimming pools, ice baths—it didn’t matter, as long as he could feel the chill against his skin. 

The shock of it helped calm his body down, helped pull him back from the brink when he felt like he was drowning in his own thoughts.

Still, even as the water rushed over him, he couldn’t escape the feeling of being completely and utterly exhausted. 

His breathing was just as heavy as if he had just sprinted the length of a football field, chest heaving, throat dry and burning from the lack of oxygen making its way into his lungs. 

No matter how much he tried to steady himself, to ground himself, it never felt like enough.

And maybe, deep down, he knew why.

Because without YN there to remind him to breathe, to hold his hand when the world felt like too much, he was still learning how to do it on his own.

++

Sleep didn’t come easy that night. 

Harry tossed and turned, his mind restless, his body unable to settle. 

Every few minutes, he reached for his phone, checking and rechecking to see if she had texted back. 

The silence from her end was deafening, and with every passing hour, his anxiety only deepened.

The breakfast date was scheduled for eight-thirty in the morning at a local restaurant that was well-known for being a hotspot for celebrities. 

It was the kind of place where paparazzi loitered, hoping to catch a scandalous photo or an unexpected encounter between two famous people.

 Despite the many times Harry had heard of it, he had never been there himself.

He knew that YN loved a lay-in on the weekends, often staying in bed until nine or even ten if she had the chance.

 But he was praying desperatelythat maybe, just maybe, she had woken up early today. 

That maybe she’d see his message, hear his call, and give him the chance to explain before the media twisted everything into something it wasn’t.

And then, as if the universe had conspired against him, a series of unfortunate events began to unfold. 

Harry considered himself a person with relatively good luck, but today—on the one day he needed it the most—luck was nowhere to be found. 

He needed a favor from fate more than he needed to throw a game-winning touchdown during the playoffs, but fate had other plans.

He had anticipated the presence of paparazzi. 

That was the whole point of this arrangement, after all. 

But what he hadn’t expected was just how many would be waiting for him. 

The scene outside the restaurant was overwhelming—swarming with photographers who acted like vultures circling fresh roadkill.

They were shoving at each other, pressing themselves against his car before he even had the chance to park properly. 

And, of course, because they wanted the best possible photographs, he had been instructed to park at the very front of the restaurant—completely exposed. 

Normally, in situations like this, celebrities were offered the option of a back entrance, a discreet way in.

But not today.

Harry’s anxiety, which had been simmering since the night before, was now reaching a boiling point. 

The flashing cameras, the deafening shouts, the lack of personal space—it all pushed him closer and closer to the edge. 

The paparazzi operated with the delusion that they were untouchable, fearless even in the face of a towering quarterback with broad shoulders and the muscle mass to back up his size. 

They had the upper hand, and they knew it.

Then, the bystanders started to notice the commotion. 

Pedestrians, people who had merely been passing by, suddenly realized someone important was in their midst. 

Like moths to a flame, they gravitated toward the growing mob, adding to the chaos.

In the frenzy of trying to get into the restaurant without causing a scene—or worse, someone getting hurt, Harry never heard his phone ring. 

The noise was too much, his mind too wired, his body too overwhelmed to even register the vibration in his pocket.

By the time he finally made it inside, he was on the verge of hyperventilating. 

But he hid it well. 

No one—not the restaurant staff, not the other patrons would be able to tell just how much he was struggling. 

Only YN ever saw through the cracks in his composure.

The restaurant’s owner greeted him, shaking his hand and immediately launching into a conversation about football. 

It was always football.

Harry nodded along, forcing himself to appear engaged even as he mentally tried to steady himself. 

He was then guided to a very public table on the outside patio, where cameras could easily document every second of the staged date.

Tessa hadn’t arrived yet. 

That, at least, was a small mercy. 

He had a few minutes to collect himself before he had to endure the part of the morning he was dreading the most.

Harry pulled out his phone, fully expecting to see nothing from YN.

But to his surprise, there was a missed call.

8:23 AM.

His heart lurched as he immediately pressed her contact, anxious for her to answer. 

He needed to explain himself. 

Needed her to hear the truth. 

But the call rang once before going straight to voicemail.

His stomach dropped.

She had sent him to voicemail.

How could she already know?

Then, a text appeared on his screen:

YN: Sorry! I’m about to head into a deep tissue massage appointment to work on these aches from the accident. My shoulder’s still twinging a bit!! I’ll call you when I get out! (:

Relief flooded through him, though it was short-lived. 

He wanted to reply immediately, to ask for just a minute of her time, but before he could type out a message, his ‘date’ was arriving at the table.

++

The date was going terribly.

Harry couldn’t focus on anything Tessa was saying. 

His mind was elsewhere, his eyes constantly flicking to his phone.

He was hyper-aware of the paparazzi, more so than usual, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t force himself to feign interest in the conversation.

It didn’t take long for Tessa to notice.

With a scowl on her face, she clinked her fork against the plate in frustration.

“You could at least try to be interested in what I’m saying. We’re on a date, and you’re not treating it like one.”

Harry blinked, setting his phone down. 

His usual cool, composed demeanor was nowhere to be found when he replied sharply, “I’m not treating it like a real date because it isn’t. Public Relations managers don’t set up dates—they set up business opportunities that make them money.”

Tessa’s expression tightened, though she was careful to maintain an air of professionalism. 

Cameras were everywhere, after all.

“Asshole,” she muttered under her breath, low enough that only he could hear.

Harry scoffed, running his tongue over his teeth, “If you typically start relationships with a signed contract, I guarantee you that’s not a great start.”

His stomach churned. 

He could barely take more than a few bites of his meal without feeling nauseous.

The rest of the breakfast was as awkward as expected. 

And yet, they still had to end it with a hug and a kiss on the cheek—nothing inherently intimate, but in the context of this situation, it would be spun into something far bigger than it was.

The moment he was in his car, he peeled out of the parking lot, desperate to get away from the flashing cameras.

But the entire drive home, he was texting.

H: Please, please call me when you’re out of your massage.

H: Nut, I will explain everything to you. I promise.

H: It wasn’t anything. I promise I have an explanation.

H: Call me, please.

For the first few hours, he tried to remain optimistic.

But Harry knew deep tissue massages didn’t last four hours.

By that point, he knew. 

She had seen the photos.

He tried calling.

It rang twice, offering a flicker of hope—but then it stopped. 

She hadn’t blocked him, and while he hadn’t truly believed she would, the lack of an answer still cut deep.

Then he went online.

The breakfast date was trending in the top ten by the afternoon.

The photo of him kissing Tessa’s cheek was the headline image.

So she had seen it.

Harry knew blowing up her phone wouldn’t help. 

He needed to respect her boundaries.

She clearly didn’t want to talk to him.

But he just wanted a chance to explain.

If they weren’t in different cities, he’d be at her door. 

And if he didn’t have a meeting later that he cannot bail on, he’d be on a plane to her by now.

Harry gets this heart-wrenching feeling, and he’s really never felt it but once before.

That had been when YN had ended things with him.

[bambihrt]

I absolutely LOVE your writing!!!! Like I’m addicted!! Would you ever write a Vee’s x reader who doesn’t like being touched?

Thank you sm omg! I have poly vees brainrot rn so requests for them will have priority, I can't stop writing for them so enjoy!

being adverse to touch, you're used to your boundaries being overstepped constantly so approaching your distaste with your partners was a daunting task

vox was the most understanding

he always puts his hand out for you to touch him first and won't initiate contact ever (mostly because he still gets butterflies around you)

he has occasional mishaps but usually when he's trying to be chivalrous

when you two go on walks he follows the sidewalk rule and makes sure to be aware of your personal space after the time he put his hand on your back and felt you tense up

causing you discomfort haunts vox causing him to be hyperaware of his actions

velvette and valentino, on the other hand, have a lot more difficulty with this

the two of them are some of the most touchy demons in hell

velvette tries her best to respect your wishes but can be forgetful as physical touch is one of her main love languages

she'll usually pull you into a hug or kiss your cheek in greeting and then immediately apologize and try to make it up to you

velvette loves posting on social media and wants to show you off so will ask you for permission to take pictures together

val struggles with this dynamic and being honest doesn't try too hard

he is the definition of an overstepper

boundaries? what are those?

vox when he is around will keep val in check, telling him off when he gets touchy with you to valentino's annoyance

val has other play things though he can use if he's feeling especially touch deprived

there are times though when exceptions must be made

if some sinner or a rival overlord threatens you then the vees will pull you away from them

when it comes to protection those three do not mess around

at the end of the day they're very powerful and respecting your wishes depends on your behavior, to them it's a courtesy not a necessity

[yanderes-galore]

I'd really love if you did a romantic concept of Vox from Hazbin Hotel if you're down! Thx! ^^

Sure! I've written for him a couple times but he doesn't have a concept yet... so here you go :) There's probably more that could be written but I ran out of ideas :(

Yandere! Vox Concept

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Possessive behavior, Controlling behavior, Ownership, Isolation, Kidnapping, Hypnotism, Extremely toxic relationship, Forced relationship.

Any of the Vees are horrible yanderes on their own.

Vox is no exception, in fact, he's one of the worst yanderes other than Val.

All the Vees like control and attention.

Vox is manipulative, possessive, controlling, clingy/needy, volatile...

Need I go on?

Vox is powerful and always monitors his obsession.

He has the highest security and never allows them out of his sight.

With his ability to control technology, there isn't much escape once he has you in his grasp.

Vox's obsession could be some sort of assistant or business partner of his.

That or maybe he's your boss in other ways.

The point is, Vox likes being in control over his obsession.

He likes the power and the fact you listen to him.

He's charming, always one for attention.

To the point of even using money to control you.

Yes, Vox does seem like he'd have sugar daddy vibes if it meant you relied on him.

He likes you being dependent on him.

Romantic relationships for him are not sweet or comforting...

He tends to be controlling, wanting to own his obsession and treat them like a prized pet.

Honestly, every Vee wants that for their obsession in some way.

They all want some pretty little thing to coddle and gain attention/fame from.

Vox is oppressive towards his obsession.

Yes, he's fond of you, but he loves seeing you desperate to please.

Vox would be in a soul deal with his obsession to keep them as his.

You'd no doubt be coerced into accepting one eventually.

After all, Vox can ruin your life easily.

It also gives him the excuse to pull on your chain to make you submit.

Something he and Alastor share similarities with is their obsession with power.

It often shows in their obsession, too.

Vox's affection always has a certain... threat to it?

He acts sweet and caring, pulling you on his lap as he does work and coos over you.

Yet there's a tight grip on you, to the point you swear you feel electricity stinging your skin as he holds you.

When he isn't outright telling you you're his, he's showing it in his actions.

As Vox's obsession, he uses you to cope whenever his temper flares.

He orders you to come to his office often just so he can distract himself.

You soon become one of the only things that soothes his anger.

You're an important part in his life, to the point he throws a fit when you aren't in his sight.

You could leave the tower for an errand or something, only for someone to call you to tell you Vox has... ruined his office.

Which soon leads to you not leaving the tower, or his sight, ever.

You're very isolated due to Vox.

You could call it kidnapping... yet he's mostly coerced you into staying with him.

Even worse if you have a deal between one another.

He swears you've decided to be with him on your own accord.

In reality he threatened you or dragged you.

Since your relationship isn't mutual... Vox doesn't neglect security.

Feel like you're always being watched?

You are.

Every camera, every TV, even the phones...

Vox is watching.

You're rarely given privacy and are still expected to follow his every call.

After all, he feels his obsession works under him.

He should be your main priority.

Vox treats you like a prisoner.

He wants to keep you locked in a room until he needs your attention.

Vox wants his obsession to coddle him, to worship the very ground he works on.

He can give you everything...

Money, fame, power, attention, pleasure...

There's just one catch.

You forfeit your freedom and belong to him.

Vox is toxic, of course.

Demons typically are.

He doesn't entirely see you as an equal.

You're a cute doll for him to spoil and put in his lap.

You're his main source of affection, grinning as he tells you how much he adores you.

It's difficult to tell if anything he does is genuine.

If his obsession keeps being defiant or trying to escape his grasp, Vox has the ability to hypnotize them.

I mean, come on, you expect him to not use it on you?

He'd use it just enough to keep you docile, maybe he'll even force some affection out of you.

He tells you he loves you, but it just seems like he wants someone to control.

Sure, he does buy gifts and makes you famous by his side on TV.

But it isn't right.

Many think your relationship is ideal on TV.

The TV always lies, you'd know that better than anyone.

Would it even be surprising if he tried to encourage his brainwashed fans to support his relationship with you?

It just makes you unable to leave even more.

I can also see Vox brand your skin, maybe with his logo or something.

Vox may love you, but it isn't any ordinary love.

You're kept locked in luxury, the demon himself often sitting by you.

He praises you, calls you 'good', forces affection...

He asks for a hug, a kiss, maybe more....

The entire time his hand is wrapped around the blue chain around your neck.

Is this a good price to pay?

Was this worth it to get attention?

This clearly isn't love...

Vox treats you like he's bought you, like he owns you...

With your soul in his hands... Perhaps he did.

[mrs-kodzuken]

Can I have a timeskip!Ushijima comfort fic? Like Ushi doesn't understand the concept of skinship like holding hands and hugs so he often shrugs off reader's attempts in skinships, which of course made reader feel sad ㅠㅠ

Thank you and have a nice day! <3

Understanding you ♡

Pairing: Aged up! Wakatoshi Ushijima x fem!reader

WC: 1.6k

Genre: slight angst to comfort/fluff

CW: fem!reader, inexperienced in relationships!Wakatoshi, slight angst from ushi :( , fluff and comfort all in the end :)) , maybe some self deprecation from reader, best friends with tendou, communication is always key

note: thank you for requesting this! I hope it’s up to your expectations, sugar!! <3

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

Being the girlfriend of the Wakatoshi Ushijima was something I didn’t expect would hurt this much. As his girlfriend, I understood the importance of volleyball since it quite literally is his career path. However, being in a relationship is a whole other aspect to think about.

There never really was anything that really stood out to me about his wrongdoings. He always made it to every dinner plan, he didn’t forget the classic month to month anniversaries, he seemed like he was just a gift from heaven.

I knew it was too good to be true when I realized we, or I, was severely lacking in the physical department of our relationship.

Ushijima and I never really got closer within touching or skin-ship distance. That really sucked for me and hurt my feelings since he aced every other aspect of our relationship, no pun intended.

I wasn’t sure if he was just uncomfortable with touching me or if he had some kind of weird feeling about touching me. However, with physical touch being my number one priority of love language I wasn’t sure how to go about telling him my feelings.

Giving Wakatoshi free rein to plan out his schedule, except for date nights, was a must. He is a grown man and I’m not his mother, but I always felt bad when there was something important, like this, to be talked about.

I couldn’t help but to bite my lip as I stared at our private text messages. His contact name, ‘Ushi baby’ stared right back at me whilst I tried to work up the courage to send a text.

Deciding against it, I threw my phone onto my bed and sighed loudly. He was at practice and had a game tomorrow so I didn’t want to bother him or cloud his mind with meaningless things like what I need to talk about.

I couldn’t help to wallow in my own pity. The clock on my white painted walls doing nothing but making the sound of ticking throughout my room which eventually annoyed me enough to leave.

It was around the time for Ushi’s practice to be over and I really wanted him to come over, I just didn’t know how everything would go.

Whenever we had first started dating I got introduced, and interviewed, by Wakatoshi’s best friend, Tendou. And now, Tendou was one of my closest friends so I decided to call the Chocolatier himself for support.

After the phone had rang for three seconds it picked up, “Hello! Hello!” the familiar voice sounded throughout my kitchen.

“Hey Ten! I am in need of advice and company.” I admitted due to the facetime call revealing his apron on with some stains of colors on it.

“Oh really?” He asked, drawing out the ‘really’.

“Yes, really. I need to talk to Wakatoshi, I’m just not sure how. Any ideas?”

“That depends on what you’re going to talk to him about. Saying the wrong thing could make him easily misunderstand what you mean and vice versa.” Tendou tried to poetically explain, as if I didn’t already know that.

“Yeah, thank you so much,” I rolled my eyes, “I’m feeling a bit.. lonely in our relationship lately. I need more physical affection from him and I’m not sure how to really bring it up because times that’s happened before.”

That little spill from me made memories pop up into my head of Ushijima rejecting my attempts for physical love.

I could only remember how he shrugged himself away from holding my hand or kissing me after I brought him a well-balanced lunch meal one day during practice.

I never felt more embarrassed or ashamed in my life. My own boyfriend rejected my advances to give him, and to receive love from him in front of his entire team.

It wasn’t the only time that that had happened. I tried doing it behind closed doors just in case he didn’t like publicly displaying affection. However, that didn’t work either when he moved away from me one night after being out to dinner.

From that point on it’s just been messaging, very little facetime, some phone calls, and occasionally visiting each other’s apartment. I wasn’t sure how to proceed with this, and I certainly didn’t think it was anywhere near enough to breaking up.

However, that doesn’t mean he didn’t hurt my feelings nor have been continuing to hurt them. Whether on purpose or not.

With Ushijima being a member of the Schweiden Adlers, I knew some of his teammates and occasionally talked with them about how my boyfriend was doing time to time.

However, I couldn’t help to not reach out to them within the last couple of weeks. I didn’t have the courage to confidently ask about him.

Tendou’s voice brought me back to where I needed to be, which was having this conversation to communicate my needs across to him.

“And since knowing him for a while helps my understanding, I think a simple conversation would do the trick. Honestly, I’m not sure why you called if you knew that too?” He questioned me, eyes peering dangerously close to mine through the tiny phone screen.

I bit my lip, “It’s just… he has a game tomorrow. I don’t want to ruin that by spouting dumb nonsense about how I’m not feeling this or that from him.”

Growing up, I’ve always considered other peoples thoughts, opinions, feelings before mine. It was just the kind of person I was, and now it hurts me the most when I need to express myself.

“Girl. Fuck that game.” He rolled his eyes at me.

“Yes Wakatoshi loves his career and it’ll always be there but you’re something in his life that can disappear at any moment. I think he’d want to know,” Tendou tried reasoning with my dumb logic as he pointed a wooden spoon in my direction.

I gave up. I knew in the back of my mind that Tendou was definitely right and I wasn’t but it was my own self that was keeping me from doing what I needed to do.

“Alright, I think I’ll ask him to come over tonight then.” I tried to say confidently after I made up my mind of what needed to be done.

“Great! When I’m in Tokyo next I’ll be sure to bring a little something for you and him.” Tendou winked at me before ending the facetime call.

That only left me to do one thing, text my boyfriend. I quickly sent him a text asking if it would be okay for him to come over after practice.

My nerves were all over the place as I waited for the tall, olive haired man to show up at my place.

Soon the door bell brought me out of my mind trance and when I opened the door I saw the one and only Ushijima.

“Hey Toshi, come in,” I widened the door after taking a good look at him.

It seemed like he came here right out of practice, he was still in his whole practice uniform. His usual stoic face didn’t change once I sat down on to my living room couch.

“Is something the matter, (Y/n)?” He bluntly asked, getting straight to the point with me.

I took a deep breath to prepare myself, “Yes, Toshi. There is something the matter. My feelings are hurt and have been hurt for a while due to the lack of physical touch in our relationship.” I paused for a moment to look over his face.

He seemed to be intently listening on every word I was saying which gave me the impression to keep going.

“I just want more skin ship with you like hugging, kissing, hang holding, or even just sitting beside you with arms touching. I feel deprived of that because you seem to always move away when I try to initiate it. Is there a reason or..?” I trailed off, finishing what I was saying and asking a question to see his side.

“I’m sorry for making you feel that way, (Y/n). I don’t understand the idea of that. It makes you feel more loved than usual?” He asked, trying to work around in his head of what I had mentioned.

“Well, yes. Without it I feel upset or rejected by you sometimes.” I hung my head low a bit, it was embarrassing having to discuss this. However, I was always one to get embarrassed or ashamed at anything I needed.

“I will try, for you.” He promised, his large hand reaching over to me and placing it on my knee. He was very warm and it traveled through my body.

I smiled a bit, “Thank you, I really appreciate it. I’m sorry for not telling you sooner.”

I scooted closer to him on the couch and he gave me his one million dollar small smile that I love. His arms wrapped around my shoulders whilst I hugged his torso. His lean but built, very built, body touched my soft one, I loved this feeling.

We stayed like that for a minute, nothing heard but the low volume of my living room TV and our breathing.

“Thank you, Toshi. I really appreciate that you’ll try for me.” I pulled away, already missing the hug but needing to say that to his face.

“Of course, love.” His hand came up to caress my face and I leaned into his touch.

The aching in my heart and body went away after discussing that with him. It was all just a bit miscommunication which was easily fixed after I expressed what I needed to.

I couldn’t be more content.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

a/n: I hope you enjoyed anon!! I’m terrible at writing for Ushijima but thank you for helping me extend the people I can write for :))

you all know my header rules, if not see pinned post!!

[lacy-oh-lacy]

Sam Carpenter･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

NSFW Alphabet

Scream Masterlist | Main Masterlist

CW: Afab!Reader, Switch!Sam, safeword use, rough sex, strap-on, tribbing, masturbation, bdsm, roleplay, edging, oral

Aftercare

Sam’s the sweetest after sex. She always double checks that you had a good time, and if things were on the rough end she’s so attentive and verbally/physically affectionate.

Body part 

On herself: Not a part, but she likes her muscles. They constantly come in handy and the way you look at them drives her absolutely wild.

On you: Your thighs. Something about how soft and vulnerable they are just really appeals to her.

Cum

She likes the thought of cumming with you. It’s not always practical, but she experiments with tribbing and invests in a cumming strap-on to indulge the idea.

Dirty secret

As a rule, Sam tries not to keep secrets from you. She tells you all of that kind of stuff either before or very soon into your sexual relationship.

Experience 

Enough to know what she’s doing. She’s definitely passed the shy stage.

Favorite position 

She likes to see your face and (usually) be on top, so straddling you and missionary are her go-tos.

Goofy

In your less passionate, more sweet hook ups Sam is so silly and cute. You’ll straight up giggle and joke around while she’s ‘balls-deep’ inside of you. Other times she’d definitely rather be serious though.

Hair

She’s got a short bush of hair down there.

Intimacy 

It can go two ways. She can be so romantic and make love to you like you’re the most precious thing on earth. Or she can be so rough and fuck you like you’re her own personal sex toy. It just depends on your moods.

Jack off

It’s not like she has anything against it but she’d much rather wait and get off with you.

Kink

Oh, Sam gets kinky. It’s not a dealbreaker if you’re not, but if you’re up for it the two of you at least dabble with roleplay and bdsm. She gravitates towards domming, though when she’s as comfortable with someone as she is with you she’ll sub just fine too.

Location 

She’s a keep it in the bedroom kind of girl. She doesn’t want to accidentally bother anyone else.

Motivation 

You being yourself is quite the turn on for Sam. Every time you make her laugh, or patiently let her vent to you, or anything like that her attraction for you and her libido skyrocket.

No

Nothing that can too easily go wrong like drawing blood, choking or electricity play.

Oral

Sam’s a giver by nature and this is no exception. Your pleasure is her priority -and a huge turn on. Not that she would ever decline an offer to return the favour.

Pace

Like with intimacy it depends on the day. You two have had sex at every pace there is.

Quickie

She down for them but usually she only initiates them herself if she’s feeling emotional. For instance if she has something crappy going on in her life that she needs distracting from.

Risk

As brave as Sam is, she gets her fill of risks elsewhere, she doesn’t want any more, especially not at your expense.

Stamina 

In theory Sam could go all night, but she usually puts so much of her strength and effort into the first round that both of you would be lucky not to totally tire out by the second.

Toy

The two of you decide on toys to get together, Sam likes experimenting with them. Though a good deal of the time she still only uses her strap, if that.

Unfair

If edging / orgasm denial are kinks you’ve agreed to she’s more than happy to tease you those ways. However, again, she is a giver so it’s hard for her to deny you for very long. She can honestly tolerate being teased for longer than she can tolerate teasing you.

Volume 

Sam isn’t too loud, her moans are low and breathy. Most of her volume comes from smooth dirty talk and confirming consent.

Wildcard 

Her safeword definitely gets used. There are kinks she has that can be fine to practice one day but unexpectedly trigger her another. She’s also a very attentive dom and the type to tap out not because she’s at her limit but because she’s pretty sure you are, even if you haven’t realised it yet. It’s a little overly cautious but she’s usually right.

X-Ray

It’s not always clear with her clothes on, but Sam’s body is STRONG, glorious even, like you’d expect from a warrior (and she does have the scars to match that descriptor).

Yearning

Sam is used to reigning in worse urges than her libido, so while her sex drive is decently high it never becomes a distraction for her.

Zzz

She’s so into cuddling and pillow talk afterwards, it can easily lead to you falling asleep in each others arms.

[notyourhetloki]

Ken's NSFW Alphabet

Reader: gender neutral

/NSFW Ken x Reader/

A/N: You know what? I ALWAYS wanted to make one of these... I literally have no excuse for it I just need him carnally ok pls don't judge me NSFW Alphabet originally found here.

Warnings: this Ken has genitals lol, top!Ken, lots of sex talk, no images just text, very explicit!

—

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

I think Ken would be a very caring lover, making sure you had everything you needed and that includes aftercare! He would draw a trail of kisses down your body to your legs, massaging them while asking if you're ok, then would take you in his arms and keep you there for all the time you needed. Ken would even clean you up if necessary, joining you in a nice shower, combing your hair... Yeah, he's the KING of aftercare!

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

I think Ken really like his arms, they're amazing to show off his muscles and strength and even better for carrying you around!

And his favorite part about you is definitely your beautiful face! But most especially, your lips. Ken loves when you kiss him all over his body, it never fails to make him shiver.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically...)

Well, because he's a doll, I don't believe there would be a risk of diseases or pregnancy (particularly if you live in Barbieland/are a doll as well) so… yeah he would cum inside you pretty much every time. The feeling of you around him while he cums is intoxicating enough, but he would make exceptions for when you asked him to cum over your face… that vision was also fantastic.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Ken has a very big fantasy of fucking you while he wears his mink, or seeing you suck him off while he wears it… anyway, he wants to wear the mink!! But he feels a little silly about it…

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Before you, I don't think he had any experience, really. He knew about sex from the media he consumed (he even read a few books on it, out of curiosity) but sex was not really a priority especially in Barbieland. That is until he visited the Real World and you showed up...

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying.)

Cowgirl/boy. Ken loves to have you on top, seeing you bounce on top of him while he grabs your waist is SUCH a turn-on. And that way you also could control the pace... yeah, he adores it.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

It depends... are you making love after a whole day spent together? Yeah, he could be goofy, wanting to see you laugh at every opportunity he can. But are you fucking after spending the day apart, needy and desperate? No time for joking around.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

He's a doll so I'm pretty sure he's just shaved down there... nothing really to be worried about!

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect...)

Ken is so needy... so needy he would embrace you during the whole thing if he could. He's the type of guy who says "I love you" during sex, and he's ok with it! As long as you say it back... and you always say it back.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Masturbating was not really a thing dolls did, but he would do it occasionally out of curiosity. And after you came around, he couldn't help himself a few times... humping a pillow before sleep and dreaming about your body. Yeah, he masturbated quite a lot then, thinking about you.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

PRAISE KINK this one's obvious… the guy could nut only from being praised if you took the time to do it. If you praise him during sex while looking him in the eyes, oh… his cock immediately twitches in anticipation. It's adorable, actually.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Because he's very jealous and protective of you, he only does it inside of your house (or his mojo dojo casa house) somewhere no one can see you, so yeah… not very adventurous in that aspect.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Besides the praise, just... being your boyfriend. Matching clothes with you, holding your hand... kissing you immediately turns him on, and being called names like "baby", "love", "blondie" makes him go wild. He just loves the attention and of course, loves when you're turned on as well.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

I don't think Ken would enjoy rougher sex... don't get me wrong, he can definitely pick up a fast pace from time to time, but... ROUGH as in, slapping you, calling you names... nuh-uh, he don't likey. He hates the possibility of hurting you in any way.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Ken honestly doesn't have a preference. He loooves eating you out/sucking you off and the praise that comes with it, making sure you finish so he can taste you. But oh, there's something just as endearing in the wet sounds you make while sucking him, the feeling of your lips tightly around his dick... oof! He loves both ways!

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

At the very first time you had sex I think Ken would be slow and not really in rhythm, so overwhelmed by the sensation of being with you… So you'd have to take control and guide him. He would eventually get the hang of it, and the more confident he became, the faster he went. So yeah, when he's feeling sentimental he goes slow, taking his time with you. But if he's feeling confident, he likes to show off and fuck you raw.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He's pretty neutral about quickies, I mean... Ken likes taking his sweet time with you, but if you're both feeling naughty and there's not really much time, he would definitely go for it!

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Hmm, I would say he's not really into taking risks. Ken probably waits for you to suggest something before he suggests it himself. He doesn't want to scare you off or anything like that.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last...)

Baby, he's a DOLL... He can go as many times as you desire! LOL But oh, on the first few times you had sex, he didn't last very long... he was too overwhelmed but soon he felt better! Now he lasts a reaaally long time.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Not sure if there are sex toys in Barbieland, but if yes, sure! He would definitely have a vibrator to use on you. Anything that helps you cum is a treasured tool for him, because getting you to cum is his top priority during sex!

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Besides lasting for an absurd amount of time, he loooves to tease as well. Kissing and softly biting on your skin before slowly going down on you, looking up at you with puppy eyes while humming and moving his tongue around your sex... yeah, he's a tease.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Fuck, Ken's loud. He learned to tone it down a bit by muffling his sounds with his hand, but he continues to be a loud moaner. He whines and groans a lot, too... calling your name while being super vocal. "Oh, my... yes. Yes, (Y/N). Please don't stop, ah..."

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Ken still gets emotional every time you make love, holding your face while kissing you deeply, your bodies moving in tandem feeling so good he could cry. He probably did cry the first time, but now he holds back trying to not seem too sappy.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants.)

I MEAN... hear me out. I think he's pretty damn hot, like... maybe around 7 inches? And like, girthy as well LOL He's a dooooll he has to have a pretty perfect dick, right??? (don't look at me)

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Again, not really high before you came around. Now he thinks about sex all the time, looking for excuses to be alone with you and get his hands all over your body. 

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Ken would make sure you were fine (and had finished), do some aftercare if needed and then he would fall asleep rather quickly, rolling over into a little spoon so you could hold him. In your arms, he feels safe and sound.

—

[ilovepersephoneprice]

thinking about post-divorce Art

how he would hate waking up early because it would remind him of training and so slept in (reasonably) whenever he could

how he hated sleeping alone so always invited Lily (whenever she was there because I think they got 50/50 custody) to sleep in his bed and as she got older and slowly stopped, kinda loved whenever she had nightmares and would climb into bed with him

he went on a slight food binge fresh after the divorce and realised how much he missed food and fell back in love with everything Tashi said was "poison for his body." except smoking, he would've quit smoking for Lily anyway so why go back to it?

without tennis, or tashi, or training, and with only having Lily half the time, he picked up different hobbies to fill his free time. I think he most definitely kept working out to some degree, whether running or lifting or whatever, he didn't want to destroy his body, he just wasn't so strict with 'staying in shape' anymore. I think he picked up a thing for crafts and kept making things for Lily. even into her teens. she'd be on call with her friends and Art would just knock on the door and quietly place whatever he had made her on her desk, leaving with a quite "I love you" and closing the door behind him. (that thought just sent me on a whole other spiral about how much I love dilf Art, anyway)

I think he would try dating again, but it was never his top priority. Lily was. he wanted to make sure of that. even when she was like 'dad, please, get a life, I can not be your only friend' he'd kind of built such a dependence on her presence alone that he didn't know what else to do

he kind of felt lost after the divorce. like yes he had retired, yes he had Lily, but he didn't know what else. he'd had so much of himself built around Tashi that now he was just like 'what do people without a Tashi do?'

[overlordzeffeero]

Turn your character to chaos challenge

Hello!

Today I have come with a little project which has been in my head for quite some time, my own challenge for Mortal Kombat character creators (whether it's of OCs or particular take on canon characters).

It's a simple challenge really: make the counterpart of Havik's timeline shown in Khaos Reigns of your character. I thought this could be an interesting challenge for character creators, at least I can assure coming with ways to turn my characters into chaos goobers was fun. 😌

Here is the template I have made for this challenge:

Design (optional):

The name. Optional because I understand it can be the most difficult part to do depending on each creator’s way of coming up with designs.

General Information:

A general description of the story and/or role of the character in the chaos timeline.

Vision of Chaos:

What ‘chaos’ means to the character, their philosophy (or lack of).

Remaining core traits/Contrasts:

What makes this version of the character still the character despite their differences. If there’s no remaining trait, what makes them contrast with the original version?

Extra (optional):

Anything each character creator may want to add.

No pressure tags:

And, to illustrate further, I don't come with just one example, but four of them with my own characters!

Carmilla

Design:

General Information:

A Vampire, former follower of Havik back when he didn’t attack other timelines. While once loyal, when Havik started merging other timelines to his and coercing his own vision of chaos into its inhabitants, Carmilla grew disappointed. 

With her vision of chaos, she couldn’t tolerate her leader’s actions, and so she decided to abandon his followers. That caused her to be persecuted by other Havik’s followers and live on the run, which was a great plus for her. What a new fun and exciting way of life! 😄

After Havik’s defeat, she has stopped being persecuted, and with the amount of freedom she has gotten from that fact she has decided to become a guide and instructor for anyone towards the realms who agrees with her vision of chaos and wishes to learn from her.

Vision of Chaos:

She believes chaos is not meant to have an absolute definition, or else that would be order. To her, everyone is meant to freely develop their own vision of chaos, without it being enforced into them. In short, she sees chaos as absolute, unfiltered freedom, from freedom to choose one’s own destiny, to freedom to fight to the death because you gotta give some excitement to life ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Remaining core traits/Contrasts:

When developing AU versions of Carmilla (which I may like to show in this blog one day), she has always ended up being some kind of leader/guide, just like her main counterpart is a military commander. While in a very different way, that stays in this version.

Extra:

Since I thought many common aspects of the chaos skins of MK1 wouldn’t fit my characters (mohawks, deformed appearance and so on), when making the chaos designs I just put priority in giving them a lot of green and orange common in the chaos skins. The exception is Carmilla because she would have changed her clothes' colors when she abandoned Havik’s followers. She kept the dyed hair and her eye paint with those colors, though, just because she liked it and didn’t feel like changing it.

Arranad

Design:

General Information:

A half-Tarkatan warrior and another former follower of Havik. Arranad especially enjoyed combat quite a lot, as shown by the scar in her eye, which she doesn’t even remember how she got because she was probably enjoying the fight too much to notice she got it.

Unlike Carmilla, Arranad followed Havik in the first attacks to other timelines. It was just perfect for her at the start. A lot of fighting, disarray and death, it was just glorious! 💯 But that feeling just didn’t last long. She started feeling the process of merging other timelines was just becoming repetitive, always the same procedure. While Havik was apparently thinking of some plan to accelerate things, Arranad had just grown too bored to really care. 😕 She decided to leave Havik’s followers too at the end.

While on the run, Arranad ended up meeting with Carmilla, and they both decided to work together. Arranad was especially glad, because being with a friend made things a little more different from time to time. With Havik’s defeat, she has decided to become an independent agent of chaos, looking for interesting things to do while still collaborating with Carmilla in guiding people from time to time.

Vision of Chaos:

Arranad prefers not to have a concrete defined vision of chaos. She thinks not being able to define what she sees chaos as through words is the good part of it. She prefers it vague and undefined. The motivation for her actions can usually be summed up to ‘she felt like it/found it curious’.

Remaining core traits/Contrasts:

As a half-Tarkatan, and since she grows up in a Tarkatan village that, while different from most others, still has their characteristic warrior culture, main Arranad puts a lot of importance in combat, and so does her chaos counterpart.

Also her relationship with Carmilla. Their main counterparts are a couple. The chaos counterparts are not (at least not full time, because compromises are kinda orderly), but still close to one another.

Tojira Karad

Design:

General Information:

An independent follower of chaos, who never really followed Havik directly. She instead dedicated her whole life to her own vision of chaos.

Tojira is an historian. Her objective is compiling all knowledge of history and letting everyone have access to it. This has caused conflicts with other fellow followers of chaos who see historical facts as a form of order. Tojira disagrees but respects their vision, and so she allows them to try and attack her library, which has a warning signal just in the entrance telling any visitor that it’s full of traps that they will have to surpass to get to her or her books (she says she would let anyone read her books, not that it would be easy to get to them).

Recently, Tojira managed to compile everything which happened at the pyramid fight Havik took part in, thanks to meeting with a counterpart of Tanya who used Kitana’s weapons. This caused said counterpart of Tanya to miss the conflict which ended in Havik’s defeat. Now that Havik is gone, Tojira will surely have a lot of new events to compile in her books.

Vision of Chaos:

She sees knowledge, especially that of history, as a key for one’s mind to be free. The more one knows, the better they can think and reflect, the better they can make decisions. That freedom of one’s mind is the key to chaos for her.

Remaining core traits/Contrasts:

I don’t mention it in her bio because it’s just her introduction, but her main counterpart will become an historian sooner or later, motivated by her will to preserve the history of Onaga’s reign (which Shao Kahn tried to erase and, whether she likes it or not, is an important part of her realm’s history), and possibly cultures which had almost been erased from history like the Cryomancers. Her chaos counterpart retains this trait, but with her vision of chaos.

Extra:

The book she is holding has black pages because she usually likes to write white text in black pages rather than black text in white pages.

Ulima

Design:

General Information:

Another independent follower of chaos. Ulima believes that life lacks any kind of meaning or purpose… just like it should! 🥳 That way nothing is set in stone, everyone is and will always be free!

Ulima spends her time wandering through the realms, looking to do any kind of activity which fascinates her. One of those activities is mixing different kinds of magic (such as light magic and blood magic) just to see the results. You can be sure she has somehow caused one or two natural disasters while doing it.

Recently, while practicing Cryomancy with a variant of Quan Chi she coincidentally met, she learned that Havik had been defeated. That raises curiosity on her, and knows it will change things a lot. She can’t wait to see how while still wandering through the realms.

Vision of Chaos:

As mentioned, she thinks the key to chaos is the lack of real meaning in life. Since life has no meaning, nothing is set, anyone can do as they decide. The more spontaneous and unpredictable those decisions are, the better for her.

Remaining core traits/Contrasts:

One of the core aspects of Ulima’s main counterpart is that she sees no value in life anymore. She is, putting in short, (my exaggerated version of) a nihilist. The chaos counterpart keeps that, but instead of it being a source of bitterness, it’s one of joy, since it allows her to fuel her vision of chaos.

Extra:

I made this meme intro dialogue with her main counterpart.

Chaos Ulima: Why do you have to be so miserable? My philosophy could help you feel better!

Ulima: You call wandering around doing whatever nonsense comes to your head a philosophy?

Chaos Ulima: shrugs her shoulders. As long as it’s fun.

No Pressure Tags:

I will tag awesome character creators who I know may be interested in doing these challenge, not before reminding that there's no rush or need to do it if they don't want of course, this is all purely for fun 👍

@ellswips

@etherealada05

@laismoura-art

And anyone who may read this post really. Feel free to show your creativity with through this challenge! 🔥

[honestly-mad-person]

I FORGIVE YOU THIS TIME

₊⊹ genre: fluff (very soft hints of sex) ₊⊹ word count: 737 ₊⊹ a/n: It's the first time I'm trying to write something with Rafayel (I'm not going to become dependent on him, no!). I don't know anything about him except that he is a drama queen, a great kid and a good artist. He is also a big fish. Literally. God bless me… The only thing I can do is to send it to my friend for her to appreciate it (She said she's busy right now, but she already likes the first word)

— Rafayel, stop being offended by me, – you said, taking a step towards him.

Although everyone respected him as an outstanding artist of his time, you knew his true nature. Drama queen. He could easily be offended if his bodyguard was too busy with her hunting job to spend some time with him.

One day, when you were walking in the park, you met a cat sleeping on a bench. You immediately walked up to him to pet his furry head, listening to the displeasure from Rafayel.

— And after that you’ll touch me? – he grunted, folding his hands on his chest and looking at his stubborn furry enemy. – You can't fool me, little monster...

Now Rafayel was standing with his back to you, looking at the view of the sea through the window of his villa, and once again took offense at you. More precisely, for what you didn’t do.

— I'm sorry, I was really busy, – you said sincerely, walking up to him.

He turned his head, gave you a disapproving look and pouted his lips, snorted, turning away again.

— You're always busy with more important things.

Rafayel invited you to the movies, but you successfully forgot about it due to your work load. Missions fell on your head like snow and it was the only thing you could think about for the past two days. When you remembered that you were supposed to meet Rafayel before the movie, you tried to call him but he didn't answer. The heart pounded with excitement. There were many scenarios in your head of how something bad had happened to him, so tiredly, you immediately headed to his house. Your heart calmed down when you saw that everything was fine with him. Besides picking his nose, turning his head away from you and ignoring your presence.

— That's right, but… – you pressed your lips together and came close to him. – You're more important to me. — But I'm not a priority.

Your arms wrapped around his waist and you pressed your cheek against his back.

— H-hey! - you heard his voice and you felt how he jerked in your arms. – Don’t think that I’ll forgive you for such impudent behavior.

— Please, Rafayel, – you begged, pressing closer to him. – Shall I compensate for the lost tickets?

— It's not about the tickets, Miss Bodyguard, – he replied with a chuckle.

— Are you sad because you wanted to spend time with me? – you giggled.

— What nonsense are you talking about? Of course not! — he sounded "deeply" offended.

You pulled away from him a little and looked at his ears and smiled. They were soft pink in color. Well, this game can be played with two players.

Your hands slowly began to move over his stomach, making him tense under your fingers. You could feel his abs under your every touch, you could feel how it made him tremble barely perceptibly.

— Well then… it's sad that you won't forgive me, – you breathed out, wandering over his stomach, rising to his chest and falling back down again. – Probably, I should go and not upset you even more.

You pulled away from him, removing your hands, but he grabbed your wrists sharply and forced you back against his back, wrapping your arms around his waist.

— Silly girl, – he muttered hoarsely, and after a few seconds of silence, he added. – Stay.

— So, will you forgive me? – you asked, letting your hands move slowly down his body again.

— I’ll think about it… – he said, lowering his head as he watched your hands slowly but surely travel down to the waistband of his branded pants.

— Then I'll do my best to make you forgive me, –  you giggled, getting into his pants with your fingertips.

— You're… my bodyguard, you're supposed to protect me, not bully… – he whispered quietly, exhaling noisily.

— How dare I bully my employer? – laughing, you poked your nose into his back. – You are tall…

— Do you want me to... sit down? – he asked, swinging at you over his shoulder.

— That would be good, – you let go of him with a nod, watching as his hand froze in mid-air as if he didn't want you to let him go.

— O-okay, but only because you ask me to, – picking up his nose again, he furrowed his brows and grabbed your hand, pulling you to the couch.

A drama queen in her own person. He is so sweet when he is offended and so needy when you touch him. Your needy boyfriend.

[howlsofbloodhounds]

Hey! You probably have already been asked this question- and I know you’ll probably never see this- but I’ve been thinking about this and curious about this lately, uh-

What are all the things killer went through during his time under the control of his frisk? Both cannon and head-cannon? I have a few head-cannons myself but am really curious what others think and what the cannon is!

It’s okay if not answered, am just a curious soul wondering about stuff-

Well, first, it wasn’t his Frisk he was under the control of—Frisk is actually hardly mentioned in Something New outside of the first few panels of the first page of the comics, and Killer saying he misses stabbing Frisk’s face when asked if he missed Frisk.

It was Chara, and the Player—basically one and the same in Something New, even if Chara the dead child potentially wants something more. All the Player ever really wants from Killer’s existence is something new, after all. Chara’s the one who wanted a partner in crime.

As for what happened between them, the fun part is—we don’t actually canonically know. We can make guesses based on the beginning, when Killer turned on them, and some things based on after they ended—how Killer still sees them and hears them and listens to them, how he feels watched by them constantly, as if they’re living inside him.

This tells me just how codependent their relationship was—and how scared and powerless Killer feels beneath them, even as he feels he needs them and that he still has to listen to them, even if he doesn’t want to—even as he struggles to realize that he doesn’t want to, because he wants what They want.

Even if he has a new “master” now in the form of Nightmare. It tells me that Chara’s wants and priorities and needs have always taken priority over anything and anyone else—especially Killer himself.

It’s like..how a baby doesn’t realize they are separate from their mother for the first few months of their life. Except Killer never truly realized that he is separate from them. Or that they are separate from him. He has internalized them, and in many ways, has become them. Something he struggles to make sense of.

Killer doesn’t know who he is or what he is, what he wants—if he wants anything at all. He doesn’t know what is or isn’t real—why he feels and behaves about certain things. Why everything both does and doesn’t feel familiar, and yet still he is always just separate.

Chara provided directions. They represent identity and direction and stability, certainty and structure. They scare him and hurt him and confuse him, and he hates them and fears them in equal measure, but no one has understood him like them. Not even himself.

I’m sure he also didn’t use to understand why he was ever scared of or disobedient of Chara before—if something ever triggered him into Stage 1, such as his own hesitance to kill Papyrus. Stage 2 may not have held the same emotional ties to Chara that Stage 1 does or hold the same anger and hate that Stage 3 does or the fear and reverence that Stage 4 does; but it wasn’t like he knew anything else besides them with certainty.

He knew he needed them. He didn’t know fully why, he just did. He could try to explain why but it’d be through the lens of what Chara taught him: control or be controlled, the most Determined decide fate, etc.

He holds on these contradictory views and experiences with Chara, likely dissociated and compartmented into his four Stages, but all just as true as eachother.

They made him. He exists because of the Player, sure, but Chara basically raised him. The Player speaks through them, they act on our behalf. There may even be no difference between Chara and God in his mind in Stage 4.

And try as he might, he can’t pry their pieces out of him.

All of it suggests heavy levels of manipulation, conditioning, gaslighting, dependency, and abuse to me. The specifics aren’t said or shown or even confirmed, but the fact that out of all his shadowy hallucinations of everyone he’s killed—living in his head—Chara’s the only one who’s more than a shadow and has sway over his choices seems to say something about their relationship.

Anyway, a lot of things could’ve likely happened when he was with Chara. Who knows how long they were together—Killer likely doesn’t know. How many timelines they went through together.

I do like to think that there was an entire timeline where Killer and Chara overthrew Asgore and ruled the Underground themselves at some point, because Princess Killer and Killer being conditioned through royal etiquette is an idea I love. I also think he was conditioned through childhood nursery rhymes, games, gestures, and sayings that are loaded with specific meanings that only Chara and Killer themselves know. Their own little language.

I think Chara gave Killer Asriel’s golden locket, to basically make Killer into the better “Asriel.” I do believe he was often threatened and kept in line through the use of the Reset—something Killer, back when he was Sans, hated and dreaded more anything.

(And by that I mean, he was either threatened with a Reset if he didn’t do something, or forced to repeat something over and over through the use of the Reset until he either did it perfectly or without thinking or hesitation. Until any attempts to resist results in an instinctive overriding of his own will via the triggering of Stage 4.)

That original sentiment was likely twisted over time, but still present in some shape or form—such as the need for something new, and to not constantly do the same thing over and over again, even as paradoxically, Killer has a tendency to do the same things over and over again thanks to the role of the Resets in his conditioning.

I’ve made a post before about like, Chara and Killer making the killing into something like hunting games, can’t find it. But I like to think there was a punishment-reward system that Killer internalized as well, especially in Stage 4.

I’ve mentioned before how i hc that Killer and Chara had a pinky swear system that could never be broken under threat of grievous harm to whichever party breaks the promise—and as a result any promises made via pinky swears with Killer from absolutely anyone is basically the same as signing away your right to live if you ever break it.

I’ve mentioned how I think the one death Killer has never experienced before is buttercup poisoning. But basically, anything you think could happen has possibly happened, except ya know..weird stuff.

Reality is a game, and the Underground is their sandbox.

[mcytblrescape]

Welcome to the Escape Room!

Hello, and welcome to the MCYTblr Escape Room Event, run by @edgarallanpoestan and @patorucho! This is an event where you follow clues and fulfill prompts with a team, in order to escape and complete the challenge.

Interested? Our current stage of running/creation is below, as well as more information about the event itself!

Discord

AO3 Collection

Our current stage of running/creation: Room One open!

Our next stage of running/creation: Creation

Schedule

-> Signups: October 19, 2024 12:00 am CST - November 30, 2024 11:59 pm CST

-> Team Assignments: By December 14, 2024

-> First Room Opens: January 5, 2025 12:00 am CST

-> Event Ends: March 15, 2025 11:59 pm CST

(Below is a rough breakdown of rooms; NOT necessary to stick to this schedule. Each new room opens once you complete the previous room, the only strict deadlines are those above)

-> Room One: January 5, 2025 12:00 am CST - January 18, 2025 11:59 pm CST

-> Room Two: January 19, 2025 12:00 am CST - February 1, 2025 11:59 pm CST

-> Room Three: February 2, 2025 12:00 am CST - February 15, 2025 11:59 pm CST

-> Room Four: February 16, 2025 12:00 am CST - March 1, 2025 11:59 pm CST

-> Room Five: March 2, 2025 12:00 am CST - March 15, 2025 11:59 pm CST

Rules

-> As per Tumblr and Discord Terms of Service, all participants must be 13 or older at the time of sign-ups, no exceptions

-> You must join our Discord. If that is an issue, contact a mod, and we will try to figure out a workaround, but you must be present in the server in some way

-> Show all other participants respect and consideration. You will be on different teams, but you are not against each other. Help out your fellow escapees, and be kind to everyone!

-> Work with your teammates, make sure to contribute! We understand if something comes up, real life should always be your first priority. When possible, please at least give a heads-up to your team

-> Absolutely no AI generated content

FAQ

What is the Escape Room Event? How does it work?

-> All teams are given a clue to start out. These clues will lead the team to a prompt. If you get stuck don't worry! Teams will be allowed to vote on hints. There are 5 rooms to solve, and for each room "escaped", your team is given the aforementioned prompt to create for. These can be created a few different ways: every person in the team takes a prompt to fulfill (or, each person creates one or two full pieces, depending on team size, throughout the course of the event); all team members work together to fulfill every prompt (or, each person contributes to each prompt! A webweave made with multiple people looking for content, while others are writing drabbles or doodling something to include, multiple artists working on the same art piece, one fic broken up into multiple parts for each writer, the ideas are endless); or any other combination your team would like to try, as long as everyone is participating! There is no penalty to not finishing all the rooms, this is all for fun!

How do I participate?

-> Fill out our sign-up form, and join our Discord, which is linked above the cut! This is where we will be sending most of our announcements and information, so this is required to participate. You are free to join using a throwaway or sock account, and you do not need to talk -- this is for ease of access on our end, especially if we need to reach out to anyone for any reason.

How do I join a team?

-> Teams will be randomly selected! If there is anyone you specifically do not want to be teamed with, please let a mod know privately

Is AO3 posting required?

-> You are not required to post onto AO3, but we will have a collection available for anyone who would like to!

[epickiya722]

Do you think the reason people misunderstand Midoriya, Bakugou, Uraraka, etc. is because they misunderstand Horikoshi himself?

Like, people say chapter 431 doesn't contribute to the story, but I think that's wrong to an extent, since it does give closure to Ochako's character arc, which is her dealing about her feelings for Izuku (Hori probably got bored of the money to her parents motivation, since it's never brought up again). I think Izuku/Ochako was always Horikoshi's intention since he does mention that he planned her and Izuku to have several scenes, but like many shonen authors, he simply sucks at writing a proper romance or developing a female lead beyond pining for the hero, leading to Ochako becoming less prominent as he couldn't find a better role for her outside of being the token heroine that deals with the token female villain.

(His treatment of other female characters in this manga is also not the best it could be, but that's a talk for another day)

Meanwhile, he became more invested in writing Bakugou, likely due to popularity reasons (Horikoshi is famously scared of cancellation due to prior traumas with Oumagadoki Zoo and Barrage. It's why we had annual popularity polls). As a consequence, the relationship between Izuku and Katsuki became a lot more focused, which contributed to the popularity of the ship. However, I don't think this was ever intentional from Horikoshi's part, since again, he doesn't know how to write a proper romance, let alone a queer one. It's his own take of a Naruto/Sasuke-esque rivalry with lots of emotional tension, which he DOES know how to write due to growing up with Naruto, and it's arguably better written because he actually tries to explore the psyches of everyone involved. But at no point I think he even considered making an actual gay couple, especially since his exploration of rather sensitive topics like LGBT rights and racism are not particularly well-thought, even if well-meaning. Magne and Toga end up evil and dead simply for trying to find liberty in an oppressive society, and Shoji's discrimination plotline is squished in the story at the last minute despite its inherent potential. This all tells me that he's not really this overly progressive, status quo-shattering mangaka that some people believe him to be, he's just a guy writing a superhero story that sometimes deals with social issues, akin to the X-Men.

In the end, I think Horikoshi just decided to end things the way he planned from the start, while not giving much thought to the middle. He did make Ochako's feelings a plot point, so he had to give some closure to that, but alas, he didn't give it the development it deserved beforehand. It was always in the back of his mind as he always sprinkled those "Ochako is crushing again" moments here and there, but never had it as a priority in the story due to the popularity of the main duo + Shouto and his dad, thus chapter 431.

That said, Horikoshi is still an amazing mangaka, but like many others, he is still learning, especially now that he is no longer some obscure creator and has to deal with the usual trappings of fame. He probably never expected MHA to be as huge as it is and it genuinely caught him offguard.

Could be that people do misunderstood Horikoshi's writing. There's many writing styles out there. And really depending on the individual who cross a specific writing style they can either understand it or don't.

I, myself, don't think I'm an expert on any writing style except for my own.

I do think Horikoshi didn't expect MHA to become as popular as it did, especially when his previous works didn't even run that long. (I did enjoy OZ though, that was fun.)

During the years, with that rising popularity it could be that he had to keep building up the plot and I felt like had he had more prepared and probably had more time some of the plot lines could have been handled better.

He just had to experiment along the way while also going by the words of his editors and assistants. (There was also Horikoshi's health issues which hindered some creative development. How relatable.) So there some things he could and couldn't do. I mean part of the ending we got wasn't even the original ending we had in mind, not completely. One element of that OG ending (Movie: Heroes Rising) he did keep that I can think of is Midoriya losing OFA. Which was something that definitely coming.

Also, another factor of that misunderstanding of Horikoshi's writing are cultural and experience differences.

Now with Ochako and her crush, I'll be honest, even though it was "obvious" she's the supposed "love interest", I still don't think Horikoshi intended for her to only be known as that, let alone probably not really one at all.

Horikoshi has written female leads before and they're not written to be a love interest. (Shoutout to Hana Aoi, I adore her. Always doing her best.) Ochako didn't begin the story liking Izuku like that and that crush came later in the story. Heck, going back, a lot of their earlier moments I wouldn't consider "romantic". Just more like "look at these silly kids".

You mentioned Horikoshi stated he wanted to add more scenes for Izuku and Ochako, but what kind of scenes?

I get it as in more scenes in general. When thinking about it because as the story gets to the ending, Izuku doesn't have a lot of scenes with Shoto or Tenya who like Ochako he did become good friends with in the earlier parts of the story.

You know what, to me it seems like the first half of MHA was Izuku building up those bonds with the people in his class and the latter half became him kind of coming to grips on his responsibility as the last/ninth OFA user. First half of those building bonds kind of works because come later those friends do come in clutch for him in the second half.

But anyways!

With the romance, Horikoshi may not actually want to write it, no matter the gender. But probably went to add it in much later because it what draws some parts of the fandom in.

Who really knows, but Horikoshi?

I don't know, he never seem like the kind of mangaka who has cares to throw in a love plot (at least for the leads) in his stories.

I'm not an expert on his writing, I'm still trying to understand it myself. However, I do think his style is misunderstood.

Whose isn't?

[redstarwriting]

ok like i’m gonna make jealousy headcanons for the spider-verse characters because someone requested it, but i can’t get this one out of my head so i’m gonna ramble abt it for a second

───────────────────────────────

hobie isn’t a jealous person by any means and he never feels threatened by anyone. he has moments of inferiority and insecurity, of course, everyone does, but he knows who he is. he knows what he’s capable of, and he knows that he has you wrapped around his little finger as much as you have him wrapped around yours. but, depending on multiple factors, he can have a tendency to be a little possessive. of course to a healthy extent, because again, he isn’t threatened by people to the point where he’s like “you are mine and you will do what i want you to do because i said so.” i mean one of the reasons he loves you so much is your individuality and how independent you are. he really hates that he feels this way sometimes because almost all the time he doesn’t feel this way. he only gets this way when he’s had a rough night as spider-man the night before, or if he’s just having a bad day and he convinced himself going out with friends would make him feel better. in fact, he usually only gets like this when you’re both with friends. he wants people to know that you’re his and he’s yours. he just loves you and wants to show you off. and when he feels like he isn’t getting enough attention from you he’ll start to feel a little bit of a way about it. the only thing he does to act upon it, though, is that he just gets touchier. he’ll need to have his arm around you. he’ll need to have his hand on your thigh. he’ll need to be touching you in some way because you make him feel better. you ground him and remind him that despite it all, he has it pretty good because he has you. but it gets so hard when yours and his friends are constantly asking you to do things with them and you get up and walk away from him to do it. just let him hold you and make everyone know you’re his, please omg. it never gets to a point where it actually causes conflict between the two of you, because hobie is very emotionally aware of himself, and he knows that it really isn’t that deep. he just doesn’t really know how to ask for your help when he gets in a mood, but since you know him better than you know yourself, you’re always able to tell.  “hobie, babe, do you wanna go home? i got some of your favorite snacks earlier... and i may have stolen the new Omars record earlier today, too.” he just needs to vent to you really. after he gets whatever is getting him down off his mind, he’s totally fine. but sometimes he’s just so hellbent on having you next to him and not leaving so he can hold you and let other people see that he’s first priority. because sometimes he needs to feel like he’s first priority because of circumstances out of his control. he may hate people who brag about things and show off anything they have, but you’re the exception to that for him. you’re the most important person in his life, can you blame him for wanting to keep you close and show you off all the time, really?

───────────────────────────────

k bye, hope this holds you over til i post chapter 5 of his girl tonight after work 🫶🏻

[whorevader]

Here's my comparison of what Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Padme would do given the chance to go back and change things.

Anakin would keep his mouth fucking shut and try not to change anything EXCEPT he would figure out a way to try and kill Palps RIGHT before Order 66. Might occasionally try to use foreknowledge to spare more people during CW or to help Ahsoka but that's all low priority. Knowing that Padme falls for him I think actually makes him less intense about his affections, trusting that their love will carry through, but more intense about protecting her, if in a more self-sacrificing way on top of murderous way. OH, he also leaves without permission and saves his mom before the raiders can even touch her, maybe with murder, maybe with strategy. I think he struggles not to use the dark side for a while, too, but he also comes to recognize that overemphasis of one side of the force over the other will always lead to extremism and atrocity, whether through active oppression or systemized neglect. He focuses on Mace's saber style as the best compromise he can come up with in the meantime. Obi-Wan gets more and more concerned, depending on when exactly he was sent back, and starts cramping his style, which only increases Anakin's resentment over time. Because on the surface, he's doing exactly what Obi-Wan always wanted him to do, even if he has been shutting out their bond and keeping secrets, so why has he suddenly decided that's no good? This culminates in a series of increasingly bothersome confrontations, blah blah

Obi-Wan takes his foreknowledge to the Council, unsure if he actually went to the future, or if he had a shockingly horrifyingly vivid vision. When the Council is skeptical, he gets frustrated and struggles, bouncing back and forth between obedient and depressed, and paranoid and ornery. Then when the first major event that he predicted happens, he freaks out and the Council calls him in again and debates to hell and back what to do. He maybe starts to realize that the Jedi are less than perfect. Dooku — whom he accused of being a future traitor — confronts him about the nature of his vision, but as a result, he is, to Obi-Wan's horror, the most receptive of the council members? Again, everything will depend on when he gets sent back, still. But as his predictions are true, one after another, the council takes them more seriously... but then they stop being true, bc their changes cause changes which are enough so sidious's plan changes, and now it's increasingly hard to predict whether the actual important and harrowing stuff will occur as it once did and what can be done. Shoots himself in the foot essentially as is his modus operandi

Padme gets sent back to the first film and swoops in before the Jedi can change their minds about training Anakin. She gives him a place with her on Naboo, and the council just gives up on getting him back, essentially, like they only barely agreed to Obi-Wan's plan in the first place... Obi-Wan is distraught and secretly seething that she's interfering with his ability to honor his master's dying wish. She knows how important Obi-Wan was to Anakin, offers to let the two of them engage in correspondence, and is disgusted and less than impressed when Obi-Wan insists that would be pointless and against the Code. She sends a couple updates to him about Anakin's well-being at the beginning, but then stops. Obi-Wan perhaps asks after him eventually, at which point she tells him to just send the kid a letter himself. If this even does occur, then he may or may not actually do so. Padme also buys Shmi out of slavery. She emphatically does not support any of Palp's political endeavours, but because she has the subtlety of a foot to the face when she's upset, and Palpatine's not an idiot, he tries to have her killed much earlier, and Anakin has to save her. She reluctantly tries to tell the Jedi about there still being a Sith, but they dismiss her, except for Obi-Wan. Padme and Anakin have to go on the run from Sheev probably and Obi-Wan keeps in contact with them both. Padme eventually tells Anakin the truth about her having been from the future, Anakin believes her no questions asked... all my thoughts are jumbled with Padme and a lot of these events would probably have to be rearranged based on actual logic, but anyways. It's literally dinnertime so I'm stopping bless

[synthapostate]

The Capture: I read this book for the first time in the back of my dad’s car. “Oh boy,” I thought. “After that last book, I bet we’ll be in for a breather episode! Surely my beloved K.A. Applegate will give us something light and fun!”

Surely we must live in a universe created by a just and loving God. :)

- I'm Jake.

Just Jake. You don't need to know my last name, and I can't tell you, anyway. My story is full of small lies. I've changed people's names. I've changed the names of places. I've changed small details here and there.

But the big stuff is true.

All of it.

The Yeerks are here. On Earth. That is true.

The Yeerks have made Controllers of many humans. They have inserted their gross, sluglike bodies into people's brains, and made them into slaves - Controllers. That is true.

Controllers are everywhere. My town. Your town. Everywhere.

They can be anyone.

Haha, they sure can be anyone! That is true!

I actually haven’t reread this book since the first time, because. Well. As much as the ants got to me in the last book, this one is...just extremely upsetting. I don’t know how it’s going to hit me now, but I can pretty much guarantee my writing priorities are going to shift this week. Which direction remains to be seen.

(Later addendum: Turns out it hit me pretty damn hard, and my response was to repress and ignore! Which does sound like me tbh.)

- Tom. My brother. Could I destroy my own brother?

"You don't have to make that decision yet," I said aloud. "All you have to do now is try out this roach morph."

All I had to do now was become a cockroach.

First of all, dear god, this poor child is already working his way up to accepting that he may have no choice but to kill his big brother. And then on top of that he has to turn into a roach. I was terrified of cockroaches as a kid. Had a legit phobia. Couldn’t handle them. Reading this book, I decided I could never be an Animorph because I couldn’t handle touching a roach to acquire it. But the cockroach becomes one of their go-to spy morphs, and the more they turn into roaches and come to feel safety in the morph, the more comfortable I became with them. I still don’t like roaches, but thanks to Animorphs, I can now be in the same room as one without completely melting down.

I still don’t want them to touch me, though.

- I felt the last of my bones dissolve. I could actually hear it happening. My spine had been grinding as it shrank. Then, suddenly, I heard a squishy sound, as all my internal organs lost their bone support.

My skull melted away. It was the last sound I heard clearly, as my ears and human sense of hearing faded.

I was a bag of loose guts. Almost deaf. Half-blind, as my human eyes shrank and the lenses became distorted.

My exoskeleton got harder and stiffer and stronger. My wings, glossy and crisp, covered my back. They overlapped at the edges, like the metal plates of a suit of armor.

Extra legs suddenly sprouted from my chest. Only it wasn't exactly a chest anymore. I was a stunted, six-inch-long bug, with a few disintegrating strands of brown hair and shrunken, but still somewhat human, eyes.

This helped me get over my phobia…

- Her parents are both veterinarians and her dad runs the clinic as a way to help injured wild animals. Everything from seagulls to skunks. And Cassie helps with all the work, except for doing surgery. But I'll bet she could do that, too.

Foreshadowing! Every book has to repeat the introductions in case it’s a reader’s first time, and it’s fun to see which details come up depending on the narrator. They all always mention Cassie’s work at the Wildlife Rehabilitation Clinic, but only Jake harps this much on how amazing and capable and responsible and smart and strong and pretty she is.

- The Yeerks have a pretty good plan to infest more hosts in this book. They’ve gotten to several doctors, and now control a hospital. “You check in to have your tonsils out or to have a cast put on your broken arm. You check out as a Controller." Sometimes the Yeerks can be pretty stupid, because in the end these are still children’s books and the Animorphs have to have some kind of chance against them. But other times they are frighteningly competent, and going after hospital patients at their most vulnerable is one of those times. And the worst part is, Tom’s Yeerk seems to be the one running this show. And Visser Three doesn’t care to separate the Yeerk from the host.

- Rachel whistled softly. "If we succeed, Tom fails. If he fails, Visser Three may kill him."

"That's about the way it is, yeah," I said.

"So, what do we do?" Marco asked.

"We forget this mission," Cassie suggested.

"And leave the Yeerks in control of a hospital? A little factory for making Controllers?" I countered. "Why? Because my brother may be hurt?"

"Yes," Cassie said simply.

I hesitated. I wanted to agree. But how could I justify backing off for selfish reasons?

Cassie is always for taking the gentler option, even when it’s the wrong choice. Jake already knows that this is a sacrifice he may have to make. Maybe he gets his brother killed, but he’ll save hundreds of humans from infestation, and he’ll keep the Yeerks from gaining strength. But it’s not a decision he’s ready to make, so Marco gives him an out by suggesting they go in to gather information, and decide what to do about it once they know more about what’s going on. Jake is grateful for the reprieve, but it’s only temporary.

- "How long do you think this will take?" Rachel asked. She checked her watch. "I set the VCR for two of my favorite shows, but I forgot to tape the movie of the week."

"I'm taping it in case you miss it," Cassie said.

It’s the ‘90s!

- I wasn't sure if Ax knew Marco was being funny or not. Ax might have a very dry sense of humor. Or he might have no sense of humor at all. I hadn't figured it out yet.

Having read all the books from Ax’s POV, I don’t have an answer to this, but I do know KAA must have had a blast writing him.

- "This mission has two parts. One. We will use the front hospital to take involuntary hosts. I expect to be able to make two hundred new Controllers per Earth month. We will concentrate on police, broadcasters, writers, teachers, people in finance, and especially anyone in a position of political power."

A good plan. Also, this is their first encounter with Visser Three in human morph, and frankly, morphing human is more subtlety than I would have expected him to be capable of. (I’m joking, but barely.) Who is this morph, anyway? Who did he acquire? Did he blend DNA like Ax did, or did he just grab a guy?

- “In a few days, the governor of this state will have some minor surgery performed. His secretary is one of us, and she has steered him to our facility. He will check in for the minor surgery. When he checks out . . .he will belong to us."

<No,> Rachel gasped.

<What does it mean? What is a governor? Is this some sort of prince?> Ax asked.

<Yeah. A prince. The governor controls the state police,> I said. <And the National Guard. And the schools.>

<It's worse than that,> Rachel said grimly. <Don't you guys ever pay attention to politics?>

<What are you talking about?>

<Don't you know? Our governor is getting ready to run for president next year. A year from now there could be a Controller in the White House.>

Oh, okay. I forgot about this. The events of this book occur because. They need. To stop the existential threat to all human civilization. From taking the office of President of the United States.

It’s fine. JUST READ THE BOOK, SYNTH, IT’S FINE.

- Actually, less than fine. They’re spotted, Visser Three realizes they might be Andalites in morph, the stomping commences. The rest of the team escapes, but Jake gets blasted with bug spray. Thankfully, Tobias is just barely able to get him out.

- I was lying helpless on tar paper and gravel. My legs were twitching. My antennae waved insanely. I was twitching and jerking and losing all control over my roach body.

But the human me understood what was going on.

I was dying.

I had watched roaches die from poisoning. I had stood over them and thought, "Ha, serves you right."

Now it was me. Now it was my body that was failing. I was the one suffocating and jerking.

<Jake! You have to morph out of this. Do it! Concentrate!>

I knew he was right. It was the only way to stay alive. But it was so hard to focus when I was trapped inside a dying body.

JESUS CHRIST, DUDE. This is the scene that kept coming back to me later, when I wanted to melt down over a cockroach coming near me. KAA forced a wedge of empathy for insects directly into my brain, and I had to find a way to live with them just to avoid the cognitive dissonance.

- "What's going to be next Tuesday?"

Marco looked over my shoulder and then, very casually, around the hallway to make sure no one was close enough to overhear. "The governor. That's when he's going in the hospital. I'll bet you a hundred bucks it's for hemorrhoids." He grinned. "That's why it's kind of secret. No one is supposed to know."

"So, how do you know?"

"Well, we know from the meeting the other night that he's going, right? So all I had to do is find out what his schedule is going to be. Turns out it's no problem. I told them I was a reporter and they faxed me a copy."

Marco, you’re twelve! Thirteen, maybe. Was it this easy to pull a con in the ‘90s? I mean, maybe it was. This is not the only time Marco does this kind of thing.

- “I don't want to be a fly. I saw that movie. The Fly. Both versions. The old one, and the new one with Jeff Goldblum. I mean, a fly? A fly?"

"The movie. I forgot that movie," Cassie said.

She made a face. "The one where the guy has a tiny little human head stuck on a fly body and he's trapped in a spiderweb and he's going 'h-e-e-e-l-p m-e-e-e' in this little tiny voice? And that guy is so grossed out he just crushes him?"

This sounded great to me, so immediately after finishing this book I asked my dad if we could watch The Fly. He had the original on video, and was more than happy to show it to me. Coincidentally, the Jeff Goldblum version came on TV a few days later, so I stayed up late and watched that, too. Apparently, people find that movie the epitome of disgusting body horror, but I actually wasn’t bothered by it. Why would I be? I read Animorphs.

(Complete tangent: This week I came down with something that could potentially come with some really gross symptoms, so now my wife is calling me Brundlefly. Which really made my day!)

- Here's the thing about flies.

Being a fly is fun. It really is.

Turning into a fly . . . that is a whole different story.

I guess it's no big secret that I kind of like Cassie. I think she's really pretty. But when I saw these two huge, glittering, bulging, compound eyes come popping out of her eye sockets, I screamed.

I mean, I screamed like a baby.

Cassie’s amazing morphing talent is not up to the challenge of making a fly look cool.

- <Say one thing for flies. If you ever need to find poop, hire a fly.>

Turns out the Yeerk pool (a portable one they’ve put in a therapy Jacuzzi) smells very similar to poop. Lucky them.

- "What are you going to do?" Cassie asked.

"We came here to stop this sick operation, right? Well, wiping out a hundred or so Yeerks might be a good way to start. I'm going to hook this thing back together, and Jacuzzi these filthy creeps to death."

Jake...already has no problem murdering Yeerks while they’re helpless in their pool. Ax is fine with it, but it’s surprising that Cassie also doesn’t object. This is one of the few times she lets a war crime pass without comment.

- But all the while, in the back of my head, was this nagging feeling.

It couldn't be this easy.

Of course it couldn’t. They get caught, and Jake gets shot in the fucking head. Just a ricochet, not enough to kill him, but he’s knocked out for a second, and falls. Facedown in the Yeerk pool.

- When I woke I had two terrifying, overwhelming feelings. One was suffocation. I had breathed in a lungful of the liquid from the pool.

I came to, gasping and hacking and gagging. I was alive, but I could hardly breathe. Each breath was a struggle. I coughed and I think at one point I threw up.

The second feeling was of pain in my head. Pain like nothing I had ever even imagined before. It was like someone was drilling a hole in my ear, drilling straight into my brain.

I wanted to scream, but I was still choking. I was on my knees on the floor of the hospital room, wanting to cry from the pain and gasping for every half-breath of air.

Rachel takes charge while Jake is incapacitated, and they manage to escape with their lives. Jake is injured and disoriented, and barely able to mumble out that something is wrong with his head.

Marco thinks he’s feeling the aftereffects of being shot in the head.

He thinks wrong.

They fucking got him.

- Tobias landed on a branch overhead. <Is he okay?>

<I can't tell. He's alive. He's breathing. But it's like he's zoned out or something. We may have to take him to a doctor.>

I wanted to tell them both. To scream "They have me! They are inside me!" But I couldn't make my mouth move. It was like there was a roadblock. Like I could form the thoughts, give the order to my lips and tongue to speak, but the order never got there.

Haha, okay, I think this must be the source of my fascination with possession stories. The idea of a person trapped in their own body, helpless, watching something else play a part, and play it badly, but not so badly that anyone really notices. They watch, and they try and try to scream for help, but no one ever hears them, and no one will ever save them, because no one will ever know what’s happening to them. They hurt the people they love the most, they do things they would never do, and there’s nothing they can do to stop it. They wear themselves out fighting, but they can never win, and finally they lose all hope, and the other presence buries them so deep they can never find their way back out.

Throughout my childhood and into my twenties, I had recurring nightmares about trying to scream for help, but no one could hear me because I had no voice. I’m sure that doesn’t mean anything.

- <I am Temrash one-one-four,> the Yeerk said proudly. <Formerly Temrash two-five-two, of the Sulp Niar pool. I have been promoted. No doubt you are happy for me.>

Okay, I guess a Yeerk’s numbers do indicate rank. I retract my statement from my previous post. Unless this is a continuity error? I think this is contradicted later? But anyway, this is the Yeerk that was in Tom’s head, but his promotion means that he was about to be bumped up to something more fitting than some high school kid. Which, silver lining! Tom is now infested by a lower-ranked Yeerk and is less likely to be killed by Visser Three for failing to meet expectations.

- "As soon as we know Rachel and Ax are safe, we need to break up and go our separate ways," my mouth said.

The Yeerk was considering his next move. I could not "hear" his thoughts. But I could feel him using my brain. He was digging through my memory. Trying to learn quickly about the others.

He was using my brain. Using me.

I had to do something quick. Something to warn Cassie and Marco. Surely they would guess what was happening. They were the two people in the whole world who were closest to me.

Surely they would realize that I was no longer myself.

Wouldn't they?

(They would not.)

- <Forget resistance. It is futile. No host has ever overpowered a Yeerk. It is impossible.>

I felt a dark wave of terror wash over me. He was telling the truth. I knew he was. No host had ever defeated a Yeerk.

Resistance was futile.

Futile.

So there I am, eleven years old, reading this book and freaking out over the shocking turn my fun sci-fi series has taken, when I get to this page. And I have to stop, and take a breath, and go show my dad, because I did not know—and for all I knew, he didn’t either!—that you could intentionally make Star Trek references in your writing, without even saying it was a Star Trek reference! You could just do that! For fun!

Okay, back to the horror.

- In that split second, hatred revealed itself. A hatred that had crossed light years of space to play itself out on planet Earth.

<Andalite!> the Yeerk hissed silently. And in that one word I heard the same fury and contempt I heard whenever Ax said the word "Yeerk."

Only I heard it. The Yeerk did not say a thing.

But surprised, unaware, unprepared, he did curl my lip in an instinctive expression of revulsion.

It’s enough, thankfully. Ax, who doesn’t even know Jake that well, still knows enough that he doesn’t believe Jake would ever look at him that way. And he knows Jake fell into the pool. I stand by my statement that Ax is dumb as a rock, but the boy can put two and two together. Ax snaps his tail blade up to Jake’s throat and calls him a Controller, and in that moment, saves the human race.

Yeerks have to return to the pool every three days to feed. If they hold Jake for three days, they’ll know for sure. But the Yeerk, like a total asshole, points out that Jake has a family who will notice if he goes missing (“No offense, Tobias.”) They can’t hold him hostage for three days.

- I turned to Cassie. "Cassie, come on. Explain it to them."

Come on, Cassie, I thought. Come on, be hard for once. Don't feel for me. Don't be sweet, just this once.

And Cassie does feel for him. She is still sweet, emotional Cassie. But she doesn’t let that stop her from doing what has to be done.

- "Jake," Cassie said, looking into my eyes. "I know you're still in there. I know you're probably afraid. But we will get that thing out of your head, Jake. We will."

We now commence the three day hostage situation, with Jake tied to a chair in a shack in the woods, his friends standing guard over him, while Ax (in morph) impersonates him long enough to fool his parents.

Tom and his Yeerk will be more suspicious of Ax-as-Jake than his closest friends were of Jake-the-Controller before Ax alerted them to the situation, which is fucking chilling, but that comes later.

Sooooo…here’s where I stopped reading the book for a couple of weeks because it was stressing me out too much. I, an adult person, was temporarily defeated by a children’s book, and one this early in the series? Gotta get back in the saddle, man. Everything is fine.

- The Yeerk does a good job manipulating Jake’s friends, saying nice things for Cassie and holding her hand, telling Rachel she’s “too smart to really believe any of this,” undermining Tobias with digs at his lack of a stable family, thinking of ways to use Marco’s “interesting history” against him. Rachel is dug in at this point, and if Marco and Tobias have doubts they aren’t giving anything away, but Cassie does show signs of uncertainty. If he hadn’t given himself away with his cartoonish hatred of Andalites, he might have found his wedge. Fortunately, Temrash is a racist. And as Marco points out, the real Jake would have given up on trying to convince them he was human. He would be doing everything he could to help them cover up his absence for the next three days.

- <Ah, yes,> the Yeerk said, and laughed. <It shocks you that I can play your thoughts back for you. Your brain is no different to me than one of your primitive human computers. I open any file I like. I play any software. I use you. I own you. I dominate you. You are nothing anymore. Just an echo. Just a ghost haunting the machine of your own brain!>

<Yeah?> I managed to say. <Well, you're a screw-up who is tied up in a cabin in the woods. In three days, you're dead.>

<I won't be here three days,> he said.

It’s kind of sweet that Jake’s fantasy is of being a basketball player, with his parents and the girl he likes cheering him on, and his big brother giving him a hug after the game. It’s such a wholesome little dream, and it’s awful to see Temrash play it back just to hurt and mock him. Jake is such a good kid. He doesn’t deserve this. Not that anyone does, but—out of the whole team, he might be the most interesting one to get the infestation plot, because he is so ordinary. He doesn’t have any oversized bits of ego for the Yeerk to hook into. Rachel’s strength, Marco’s cleverness, and Cassie’s kindness all would have been things for Temrash to beat down— “You think you can use this to escape me? You’re pathetic!” But Jake already doesn’t think he’s anything special. All the Yeerk can find to hurt him with is a desire to be good at the sport he enjoys, and for a girl to like him and his family to be proud. And it does hurt him, for this thing in his head to see what he wants most, and to judge it as stupid and unimportant. But it's nice, to want something so simple. So normal. So human.

- <The great horned owl,> I said to the Yeerk.

<I can read your every thought, you don't need to tell me what it is,> the Yeerk snapped.

<Oh, but I enjoy telling you. It's a great horned owl. It flies without making a sound. Tobias watches them hunt sometimes. Tobias says they can hear a mouse burp from a hundred yards away. He says they can see a bug blink on a coal-black night.> I laughed silently in my corner of my own brain. I laughed at the Yeerk. <As far as that owl is concerned, you might as well have a spotlight on you.>

Yet again, this is written with such a sense of wonder! Animals are cool!

Also, fuck that Yeerk! Get your hits in however you can, kid. For morale.

- I reveled in his anger. It meant he was scared. It also meant something else. I could not control my arms or legs. I could not even keep my mind closed from him. But he could not stop my thoughts. He could not stop me from talking to him.

And I had the power to annoy him.

Get him, Jake!

- A human will fight even when he knows he can't win. Maybe our species is just a little crazy. But human history is full of cases where a handful of guys would fight an entire army. They'd get stomped, but they'd fight anyway.

That's not the way it is for Yeerks. They are ruthless. They will do anything, absolutely anything to win. But when the situation is impossible, totally impossible, they stop fighting. They figure that other Yeerks will carry on the fight for them.

Different ways of looking at your world.

We’ll come back to this!

- For the first time, the Yeerk broke his silence with the others and spoke as a Yeerk.

<If you kill me, you'll kill your friend, as well,> he warned.

<Yes,> Tobias said. <I know.>

<You won't do it.>

<Right from the start we have all said the same thing - better to die than be a Controller.> Tobias said. <But in any case, I don't need to kill you. I can simply put your eyes out. A blind falcon doesn't fly far.>

The Yeerk surrendered and demorphed.

And here, Tobias, the artistic, sensitive kid who used to be a magnet for bullies, shows how pragmatic and ruthless he can be. Living as a bird of prey is having its effect on him, for sure.

- The sun came up. Cassie stepped into the shack from the woods outside. She looked at me and nodded. "It's happening, isn't it?"

I wanted to answer, but even now, my voice was not my own.

Cassie came and sat down beside me. Beside us.

"Ax says this part is pretty rough. Just remember, when it's all over, I'll be here."

She slipped her hand into my hand. I could feel it. So could the Yeerk. But he did not reject this small bit of comfort, even though it was intended for me and not him.

Jake feels the Yeerk’s pain as he starves to death, surrounded by enemies, helpless and alone. It’s hard to pity the genocidal aliens bent on enslaving humanity, but when you spend three days with one of them and then have to watch him die in agony, maybe it changes the way you look at him, just a little bit.

- We all met at Cassie's barn. And I used her dad's cellular phone to call Tom at home. I went partly into a wolf morph before I did. Just enough to make the smallest changes.

Enough to change the shape of my mouth and tongue and throat. So that my voice would sound very different.

He picked it up on the third ring. "Yeah?"

"I have a message," I said in a thick, twisted voice that did not sound at all like me.

"What?" Tom asked.

"Don't give up, Tom. Don't ever give up."

I hung up before he could say anything.

"Do you think Tom . . . the real Tom . . . heard it?" Rachel asked.

"He heard," I answered.

I wondered if he would have the strength to hold on.

But I knew the answer. See, a part of my brother was in my own mind now. Along with echoes of a long-dead Hork-Bajir and a simple Gedd. And yes, even a bit of a Yeerk with dreams of glory.

Marco smiled his sardonic smile. "And is it true? Will we win?"

"This is a very complicated planet, Marco. That's what I hear, anyway. And it's a very strange universe. Anything could happen."

Weird emotional confession here: At my lowest moments in my early teens, I used to imagine myself as Tom. I felt like I should be putting myself in Jake's position, as the kid with a secret who was going to save the day. But what I wanted most was for someone who cared about me to tell me not to give up. Sometimes I imagined getting an encouraging phone call from Wolf Boy, and, I don't know. If Tom could keep going, then so could I.