#I can and will talk about Destiel

[batcavescolony]

This is kinda revolutionary? Just a few years ago destiel was queerbaiting fans to superhell but now? NOW? A show saw the fans HC a character as queer with valid evidence and instead went "you know what? You're right. We didn't originally plan this for them but we see you". Then four episodes into the season, canonized his queerness. Not the last second, Not the last Episode. the BEGINNING of the season, with time to expand AND we know we're getting another season after this. Just look how far we've come.

[loosethreadsofyoursoul]

while i will always love and appreciate the bisexual dean winchester agenda, i truly believe that if he was raised differently—or maybe if he grew up today instead—that boy would have been gay. like his love for women in a romantic/sexual context was always such a caricature and was continuously used as a symbol of masculinity that played against the roles assigned to him by his father growing up for the sake of suppressing any queerness he might exhibit. now whether that suppression was purposely written into his character or was a reaction to the character they had created, i’m not sure, but it’s there regardless.

i don’t mean to dismiss the love he felt for cassie or lisa, but particularly with lisa, i’m not sure he was ever in love with her, despite the fact that he did care for both her and ben. i get so frustrated watching the end of s5 because him going to her house and his perfect “apple pie life” being with her in suburbia genuinely came out of nowhere and i’ve never understood a) why it had to happen, and b) why it had to be lisa. but thinking about it in this sense, she was the closest thing he had in his life to everything he was raised to believe he should want by one john winchester, who lost his perfect wife, perfect family, perfect apple pie life and sent all of them down this path in the first place. so of course to dean, his happy ending would be with someone like lisa. but that’s the important part. someone like lisa, not lisa herself. he may have had love for her and he may have been able to picture a life with her, but it wasn’t necessarily because she was everything he wanted; she was a symbol of the things that tore his family apart and so to be with her felt like he was finally able to put some of it back together. and that makes me so sad for him because all of that is a result of the sense of responsibility ingrained in him growing up by john, not something he wanted for himself.

but back to his general attitude towards women, there was an excellent post that said he only acts like the typical womanizer he has a reputation for being around women deemed “stereotypical” by the misogynistic perspective. otherwise, he tends to take on a fairly brotherly role; he doesn’t tend to pursue any women he can “take seriously,” and is more intimidated or impressed by them than anything else. with the exception of cassie (which was pre-series and we never got full context for in the first place), he only ever pursued women with whom he would have a definitive ending—by that i mean women who he knows he’ll never see again or who would have a clearly defined role during the time they’re together that wouldn’t threaten the status quo. and yes these could also be the traits of a commitment-phobe or someone chronically on the move, but for one, sam doesn’t tend to do the same thing (see ruby, amelia, and eileen), and for two, given the things i mentioned already, it makes me consider it more of a result of him not actually being interested in women romantically.

his reaction to women when not purposely used as the butt of a joke or to perpetuate the “womanizer dean winchester” agenda is often so innately fraternal, caring in a way that doesn’t have any expectations behind it. and when there is a romantic context, so much of the relationship can be attributed to the way john raised him and the beliefs he has as a direct result; it’s never simply been built on the foundation of love.

every time he is dismissed as this macho het guy, it also dismisses so much of what makes him a wonderful character, and yes a lot of that is his queerness. so in a world where he didn’t grow up with roles and responsibilities that shaped him into someone he knew his dad hated and forced him to create this character for himself in order to survive? i think he would have been gay and he would have been okay with that.

[clairenatural]

i think dean should have fought with cas' angel blade. i know we see him (and sam) use angel blades occasionally but i want a scene where it's explicitly shown to be cas'. cas has been injured and is out of the fight and without even thinking he hands off the blade to dean who kills whatever injured him, like just one fluid motion instinctively. i also think after cas died in s12 we should have seen dean take the blade off his body and then seen him use it later. i think this would have made me specifically insane and therefore we deserved to see it

[dumbbitchawards]

[queerholmcs]

obviously i'm biased beyond help. but the way those polls are like johnlock (one of the most-portrayed relationships in the world. foundational masonry of this website. stop pretending superwholock was never a thing.) versus two characters from some show i've seen maybe three people talk about ever.

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

For $5 USD stop making everything about that goddamn show for five minutes.

[dotthings]

I get why people aren't taking random twitter clout-chaser seriously but can we not do denialism on things that were already confirmed like the script draft with [OMMITTED] all over it and the finale having three different covers of Carry On while Dean drives and drives and drives, there were obviously scenes that were cut. Plus the fact we already know Dean and Cas were at one point intended to reunite at the Roadhouse and Misha said they had a nice exchange. Details unknown. You don't have to buy what twitter random says specifically but there was an intention at least at one point to have Dean and Cas reunite. And even after the covid cuts...that episode was shortened. There are missing scenes. And it's not the remote filmed phone calls with Jody, Claire, Donna, since those were in the draft I saw, but in addition to that there was [OMMITTED][OMMITTED][OMMITTED].

[heliotrope155]

Anna Milton talks about how she doesn't deserve to be saved due to her disobedience and Cas too is disobeying and rebelling and so guilty over all of it, I'm telling you Dean's type is fallen angels.

[sammygender]

trying to start a destiel fic cause concept looks fun, getting through half of the first chapter, concept is fun, well written, WHERE IS SAM?? this is not dean??? where the hell is sam?? if there is no sam in the first chapter i can’t read this. speaks to a fundamental misunderstanding of deans character

[youchangedmedestiel]

Since summer is short and goes by quickly, I'm considering posting two chapters a week for my WIP.

I hope you don't mind. Well, in any case it's more content for you. I hope to be able to keep the pace though but if I don't do that it'll be over towards the end of September and it's not really summer anymore. At least in my mind. I'm putting pressure on myself, but I'd really like to get it done before school starts or something like that.

I'll keep you posted about any update anyway.

My offer still stands if some people are interested in me doing a tag list. You can dm me or tell me in the comments or send me an ask.

[thisisapaige]

Tagged by @mercurialkitty. Thanks! This was fun :-)

20 Questions for Writers

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 59

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 645,479

3. What fandoms do you write for? Just Supernatural. I have the brainworms and they are in the shape of Thee One and Only Castiel.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

stay, In Just Saying It, Non Solum, Still Waters Run Deep, Sleeping Together

5. Do you respond to comments? Most of them. I do get kind of overwhelmed (with love and joy) if someone comments on all the chapters as they read, so I'll often reply to their final comment. And if the comments are rude, I ignore them (doesn't happen often, but it has).

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Thee fic that started it all: Empty Spaces. A bold choice for my first posting, lol. At least I wrote a sequel? :-P

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Probably Something Blue. I wrapped that up with a bow. As a commenter wrote, "Holy happy ending, Batman!!!!!"

8. Do you get hate on fics? Mmmmm, not sure I'd call it hate but I did have a commenter who wasn't happy with the direction The Angel went in. Thankfully, they figured out the fic wasn't to their tastes and decided to leave halfway through.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yeah. It's fun to write but, whew, very difficult to edit, lol. As for what kind... somewhat-idealized- romantic-everyone-has-a-good-time-and-feels-their-feelings kind of smut, I think. Most of the time... Murder the World was a lot more angsty.

10. Do you write crossovers? Nah. I don't really have the fic bug for other fandoms.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I'm aware of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Yup! A couple in Russian and one in Chinese.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? No. I don't know if I'd be able to. I don't think I'd be a very good partner :-P. I don't even like a beta to look at my stuff 'till the draft is done and I read it though a couple times.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? It's the DeanCas of it all.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? The Path of the Righteous Man (my reverse verse fic) is like, my white whale. I keep going back to it and never adding a single word. The block is strong on that one.

16. What are your writing strengths? Introspection and action. Both are sooooo fun.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Dialogue. UGH. Dialogue. How do people talk? Hell if I know.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Sure. My monolingual ass won't, though.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Posted? SPN. Written on loose leaf paper as a tiny child, which has been lost to the ages (thank goodness)? Final Fantasy VII.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? This is a mean, mean question. I cannot chose one! I cannot! So have a selection (answer subject to change in 30 seconds):

stay for being my fix it that allowed me to continue enjoying the show after that fiasco of an ending.

The Angel for being the fantasy epic I always wanted to write.

insi(de an)d outside for being some of my strongest writing.

Still Waters Run Deep for being my first bang and also because I have prints of the art reafre made and that still blows my mind.

Something Blue because it took me on a very personal journey (and also I just posted it so it's fresh in my mind).

I *could* probably post most of my fic, honesty. I like my stuff. I wrote them for me, after all.

Tagging: @angelcasendgame @hornystiel @wormstacheangel @bloodydeanwinchester if you so chose to participate!

[wearenotjustsadstories]

maybe I'm biased because that's what I do

but

giving someone a mixtape with your favourite songs and making them watch your favourite movies

basically wanting them to know know you

is love

[lavenderleahy]

j and destiel for the minific prompts pls <3

J: When Words Aren't Enough

“Okay Cas, I need to say something,” Dean says. 

Cas shakes his head minutely, his brow softening. “You don’t have to say it,” he responds. “I heard your prayer.” 

That completely throws Dean for a loop. He gives Cas a small smile because truly, he is happy that Cas heard his prayer. That Cas knows he’s forgiven. He was so terrified that he would never see Cas again, though, and now that they’re together, he finds that he has so much more to say.

As soon as Dean laid eyes on Cas sitting in the crook of the tree, Dean realized he didn’t just want Cas to know that he forgave him. He wanted to tell him everything he’d never told him before. The opportunities to do so were becoming further and farther between. 

And Cas… wouldn’t let him say it. 

He settles in behind Cas as they make their way back towards the portal. They don’t have much time and must walk quickly, but Dean’s senses are on high alert. Every snap of a branch makes him flinch and jerk his head toward the sound, only to realize they aren’t being followed. At one point, he places a protective hand on the small of Cas’s back, guiding him closer to the portal. Cas glances at him in surprise but otherwise doesn’t react. 

It, Cas had said. You don’t have to say it. The thought catches Dean off guard. Does Cas know? 

He shakes his head. He doesn’t have time for this. Focus. 

Not a moment too soon, the distinct orange light crackling through reality appears in their vicinity. Cas makes a move as if to allow Dean to travel through the portal first, but Dean can’t stand the idea of leaving Cas alone in Purgatory again, even if it’s just for a moment. Anything could happen in the split second it would take for Cas to follow him to the other side. He’s not willing to take that chance. 

So, with one hand still on Cas’s back, he gently pushes Cas through. He glances behind him one last time, ensuring there are no monsters in pursuit, and then follows him. 

Almost immediately, the portal closes behind them. The light appears to zip itself up, and then it disappears. Dean heaves a sigh of relief.

And looks up at Cas. Who is smiling at him fondly. 

Dean’s breath catches in his throat. “Cas, I -” but no more words come out. 

“We did it, Dean,” Cas says proudly, clasping Dean’s shoulder. 

“Yeah, Cas, we did,” Dean manages to breathe out. “Listen-” 

“Let’s go back to the Bunker,” Cas interrupts. “Get this spell prepared.” 

He turns away from Dean and starts walking. 

Fuck it. Cas doesn’t want him to talk? Dean won’t talk. He has too many words bottled up inside him, anyway. Too many words, no way to articulate them, and yet… Not enough words, either. How do you tell your best friend of ten years all the feelings that have built up over that time? 

It would take too long. It would take years. And Dean doesn’t have years, he has a moment. A moment that is quickly slipping out of his grasp. 

No, words aren’t enough. 

He grabs Cas by the shoulder and, almost forcefully, turns Cas to face him. His other hand grasps the angel’s waist and he leans in, pressing a searing kiss to Cas’s lips. 

The moment seems to last forever. Time is frozen. No, Cas is frozen. Dean’s about to pull back, ashamed, when - 

When Cas relaxes into the kiss. And starts kissing him back. 

Dean lets himself get lost in it. After all this time, he thinks he deserves it. His tongue seeks entrance into Cas’s mouth, and Cas grants it. Their mouths move in sync, passionate and hungry. He doesn’t know how long it lasts before Cas is the one who pulls away. 

Cas’s lips are pink and swollen, his face flushed, his eyes blazing. He’s breathing hard, and it takes everything Dean has not to dive right back in. 

“Okay,” Dean says, finding Cas’s hand and clasping it in his own. “We can go home now.” 

“Yeah,” Cas utters, squeezing Dean’s hand. “Home.”

[found--family]

they couldn't let cesar and jesse return bc they would've taken one look at dean and cas interacting and known they had it bad for each other

[gh-0-stcup]

My thing is that I just do not trust a single person who was involved in the show. It just seems like a lot of PR to fix their image and foster sympathy/goodwill/interest.

[spnintheyearofourlord]

Okay Dean “You know I am not much for prayin’ ‘cause in my book it’s the same as beggin’” and “I prayed to you, Cas, every night” Winchester, I see you.