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quills-of-freedom · 2 months

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Crossroads Chapter V

I can only apologise for the lateness of this, my ask box is flooded with requests. (Thank you for your interest) It started with burnout, then my laptop broke, then I was busy (I still am really) and this year I've lost family members and just all round been a time where Tumblr isn't my main priority. Thank you for understanding 💓

Previous Chapters:

III & IV

Warnings: Angst, a lot of it. Smut, fluff, violence.

Kinks:

Praise kink. Whining pathetic Reiner. Breeding kink.

Reiner

If your choice is Reiner, continue reading. If it's Porco, you'll find it here when it's uploaded.

No cheating!

The chokehold you've been placed in wasn't a pleasant one, both men gazing at you longingly, their eyes pleading for you to make the right choice, to pick them over the other. Can't you see they are the one that loves you? The one person who truly would do anything for your heart. The other choice is evidently the wrong decision, for the opposition could not possibly admire you as much as they do.

With a tightness in your throat you take a step away from Porco and towards Reiner; the breaking of Porco's heart was almost audible from where you were standing, his hand immediately flying over his chest to cover his new deep wound.

"I'm sorry, Porco..." your strained vocals press. "There's just so much I need to know that only Reiner has the answer to. We can catch up later, okay?"

"No, yeah..." He whispers, his head nod/shake exaggerated by his shell shock. His eyes seem to be looking right through you, not at you, as they become glazed with sorrow. "I uh... I understand. Just... look after her, okay?" His gaze snaps over to Reiner, whose deep frown is prominent.

"Of course." Reiner nods in reply as you take another side step towards him.

"I'm so sorry, Porco..." you repeat, the guilt so heavy you could barely stand.

"Don't be." He croaked, forcing a smile.

"Come on." Reiner ushers you to his side turning to take you further into the Forest. "We got a lot to talk about."

Your head nods curtly, following the broad-shouldered man into the treeline. You're sure you made the right choice. The questions running around your head every night, haunting you, why did Reiner do this? Why did he do that? Was it all a lie? They had to stop, for your own sanity. Breaking Porcos heart was collateral damage, unfortunately, but closure was what you needed to move forward. You glance back at the man who just saved your life as you step into the shaded trees; now sitting on the ground with his head in his hands. Your heart stings before the brush Reiner pushes aside for you springs back into place, covering the broken man from your view.

"Will he be okay?" You ask quietly, eyes glued to the floor as you stepped over thick shrubbery and fallen limbs of the trees.

"Yeah." Reiner mutters. "He's a good fighter."

"No, I mean-"

"I knew what you meant."

After a while of walking, Reiner finally is satisfied with a location for a temporary place to stay. The journey wasn't too long, but the heavy atmosphere made every second feel like a short eternity. Every footstep away from Porco's crumpled form was difficult, the desire to turn and run back to him was sometimes so strong it almost possessed you. But you remained focused, reminding yourself of why you'd chosen Reiner in the first place.

You watch the Blonde Warrior out of the corner of your eye as you help him set up camp. God's he hadn't really changed... physically anyway. Or had he? He looked a little older, his chest and shoulders a little broader. Maybe to shoulder the weight of the world he seemed to be carrying? But everything else was the same. His mannerisms, the way he carried himself as he strutted through the brush... reminding you of the first night you had spent together.

Feels like a lifetime ago...

The small huffs he was making as he rolled away a heavy log were the same noises he'd make during training. It was hard to believe everything had changed so much from that time. You close your eyes imagining you're back in time. This is just another training exercise Shadis has sent you all on.

Sasha, Connie and Jean arguing over who gets to avoid sleeping in the middle of their small tent.

Ymir and Historia cosied up by the fire.

Marco on his back gazing at the stars, eyes filled with childlike wonder.

Such simpler times...

Your throat tightens, hand forming into a fist as you breathe through this wave of emotion. Back then, Eren wasn't a mass murderer who has totally lost his sanity. Sasha hadn't been shot. Ymir hadn't been eaten by Porco. Marco wasn't killed by the man you're now standing with.

You picture the scene so vividly in your mind, you could almost hear the fire crackling, the burning musk of dampened wood filling your nose.

"You alright?"

Your eyes snap open.

That was an actual fire you could smell, freshly built by Reiner as he now started on the tent.

"Y-yeah."

Every fiber of your being, every cell in your body wished you could reach through the fabric of time to go back to those good old days, even if just for mere minutes.

The events of the last few years have taught you that hauntings are indeed real but they're all within yourself. Your heart twists and yearns for the company of ghosts who's presence you no longer felt.

Reiner has to really focus on the task at hand as he begins to put up the tent poles. The mirror image of your first time together. A tent in the woods and now... well now, he was sure one wrong move and you'd try to kill him. Again.

Last time was so nervous he fumbled, stuttered, and dropped equipment. Now he feels so empty. A glance into the past of the life he once had. Over the last four years he would have given anything to be able to see you, to touch you once more. And now he has that chance, he feels so unworthy he can hardly look at you.

But God were you still beautiful.

He walks by you to get another pole, not daring to ask you to pass it to him.

The sleepless nights, tossing and turning in a cold sweat from the thought of what could have been. But he couldn't abandon his mission, his comrades, his country - just because he fell in love with an island devil.

What he wouldn't give to smell your scent again. To hold you in his arms. Just one more chance. Please.

He walks back towards the tent when his hand accidenlty brushes against yours. It was only so slightly, both of your minds elsewhere. To have any spacial awareness in the tight clearing wasn't likely when both of your cognitive functionings had spluttered and stalled.

You both freeze.

Reiners eyes widen like he's just been electrocuted, his jaw tense.

You take the pole from him, your face beginning to smoulder with a coloured hue, taking it to the tent and finishing the job for him.

"I'm sorry." He grumbles behind you.

"Its no big deal."

You can't even turn to look at him, instead you focus upon your task. Now it's your turn to be nervous, to fumble and suddenly totally forget how to set up a tent, even though you'd done it a thousand times.

"No, y/n... im... I'm sorry."

You realise now he's not talking about accidently touching you.

You now turn to meet his gaze, silent tears pouring down his cheeks. All the regret, sorrow, frustration, guilt... its finally now able to release somewhat.

You don't know what to say.

You glance down, fiddling with the bamboo pole in your hand. You wanted your answers. Here they are for the taking.

So why can't I even look at him?!

Your eyes widen in sheer horror as Reiner Braun, the holder of the armoured titan, the man who caused so much death and destruction, falls to his knees before you, grabbing your hand and gazing up at you. Those honey eyes that had been witness to the atrocities he was capable of, now full of agony.

"Please, I know I don't deserve your forgiveness..." His words struggle through his sobs. "I wouldn't even ask for it. But I'd give anything for you to understand... why I did what I did... why we did what we did..." His mind flitters to Annie who was gods know where, and Beartoldt, poor Beartoldt, the timid and kind hearted boy who was dragged into this infernal hell - the boy so kind he couldn't even fully utilise the Colossals full power.

That knife that had been permanently wedged into your back since the reveal four years ago suddenly loosens at his words, the sight of him being such a sorry mess pulling your heart in ways you didn't expect.

You've been to Marley.

You infiltrated their way of life, and boy was it a sorry one.

Segregation, indoctrination, false histories, much like your own world- he gave his heart to his cause. He gave his heart to a lie.

Much like yourself.

Paradis wasn't full of witches and devil's. It was full of people just like his mother. His cousin. Like himself.

And even when he'd learned Paradis wasn't this realm of darkness he was led to believe, if he didn't finish what he started, his loved ones would surely suffer for it.

You sink to your knees along with him, not being able to bear how broken the man you love has become, your own tears shedding as you hold his face to ensure his teary gaze locked onto yours.

"I do, Reiner. I understand. I know what you've been through. We've seen your country. We're all a byproduct of this cruel world..." you take a deep breath, steadying yourself. "The only answer to hate and segregation, is love and acceptance. I forgive you, Reiner. I may not be able to forget... but I know now you were just doing what you had to do. Just like we were when we... attacked Liberio. Sort of... its... complicated. But you know that better than anyone, right?"

He nods, his eyes crumpling closed as he desperately leans into your touch, the one he's been longing for, for four years.

"But were we a lie? Did you mean what you said then? How you and beartoldt were dead... and it was all a lie?" Your tragic eyes blink at him.

Reiner places his head against yours. "No. We were real. I had to say that to convince myself... God, y/n if only you knew... this whole situation is just... bullshit."

You laugh softly.

Bit of an understatement, but yeah.

"And you..." Reiner then whispers, placing the side of his index finger under your chin. "How've you been holding up?" His eyes search yours, looking desperately for any sign that you still love him as he does you.

"I've just been... moving forward." You answer honestly, a phrase he'd often tell you in encouragement.

"That's my girl..." His voice almost a whisper.

You freeze at his words, wanting nothing more than for this stupid fighting to stop. His hand runs through your hair, his eyes gazing into your very soul.

"I've... missed you." He admits honestly, still pawing your hair. "I'd do anything to be able to have you in my arms again. I thought of you... every damn day for the last four years."

Your heart swells both with love and despair.

Fuck it.

You press your lips against his, immediately your senses bombarded with his familiar smell, taste and feel.

That little nudge was all he needed, his eyes closed with a pleading brow, holding your jaw delicately as if he would break you if he allowed himself to go at the pace he wanted. The whimper from his throat an indicator of his honesty that he had indeed, wished for this for a long time.

Your kiss deepens, his tongue smoothly sliding into your mouth, boldly entering as if it hadn't been away for years. He pushes you back gently, one large hand grabbing your thigh from your kneeling position, pulling it up to his hip as he lowers you with trembling arms. You swing your trapped leg free, more than happy to feel his weight between your hips once again as the hold on his self control begins to dwindle and falter, another, louder whimper sending heat surging through you.

You revel at the feeling of his hair between your fingers once again, and enjoying the new scratching sensation from his facial hair, as his mouth makes its way down your neck, slowly and yet also hurriedly at the same time. His quaking body holds back, a large paw pulling your shoulder stap down your arm as his mouth now trails to your chest.

Reiner had hungered for you for too long, and boy was he starving, his other large hand grabbing your ass cheek firmly, his hips slowly thrusting, looking for some sort of friction against you, something, anything. The pathetic whining puppy look turned you on if you were being honest with yourself.

"Let me have you again..." He pleads, face flushed already from this short interaction.

You're surprised at how quickly he's lost himself in the red haze but you weren't complaining.

"You're so perfect, so beautiful... please, y/n, let me feel your insides again... I'll do anything to make you feel good again... let me make you feel like you're floating... I wanna feel you cum around my cock..."

Your entirety burns at his words, your own red hue starting to develop under your cheeks. He'd certainly become more brazen over the years. Or maybe it was just sheer desperation? You didn't know, nor did you care as you nod to signal his permission.

A groan rumbles him as he pulls down your shirt with a roughened haste, his hot breath looking like titan steam as he gasps at your form, eyes heavy-lidded and predatory.

"Look at my princess..." He whispers in awe as he then pulls off his own shirt, quickly returning to your touch, those mere seconds far too long away from your skin. He grabs your breast, leaning down and placing it in his mouth, his other hand reaching between your legs, sliding his hand down your trousers and slowly rubbing you over your underwear. He groans at the warmth of you, your already dampening cloth an invitation for him to ruin you.

The testosterone soaring through his body made him think of how he'd almost lost this moment to Porco. Porco fuckin' Galliard. The loser who would touch himself at night thinking of you, images of you naked from Ymirs memories... well now he once again had the real thing.

Sucks to be you, Galliard.

And boy was Reiner going to prove to you that you'd made the right choice. Reiner already has the previous knowledge of where all of your sweet spots were and he was going to get them all. His mouth moves to your next erogenous zone all while slowly circling your main one through the soft fabric.

Your body is engulfed in flames, your lips parted in gasps, your fingers digging into the grass beneath you as Reiner assaults your senses with no mercy. You'll not receive an ounce of mercy either, his hungry mouth now moving to your next sweet spot, still humping at nothing.

You whisper his name in encouragement, a loud croaked whine from him as a reply.

He suddenly sits up, hair a mess, face flushed as he roughly pulls down your trousers throwing them carelessly to the side, his eyes not once leaving your form.

"I'm going to devour you..." He huffs, mostly to himself the force of him now yanking your panties down pulling you closer to him. "You belong to me and only me....I'll remind you of that."

He arches over you, unzipping himself free, that beautiful cock just as fat as you remembered with that delicious upward curve at the tip. It throbs and dances angrily, weeping with precum as he grabs the base of his shaft.

"I can't hold back any longer..." He breathes, looking into your eyes. "I won't last... I've needed you for too long."

"I don't care..." is your reply, your equally starved body more than ready for him.

He pushes himself in firmly but at a stress pace, the size of him always a tough pill for your insides to swallow. Your mouth hangs open at the sensation of his girth splitting you open so deliciously, your walls pushing and resisting him.

He cries out loudly, your tight insides snuggly protesting his invasion as they spasm, seemingly swallowing him whole yet pushing him out at the same time, like they can't decide what they want. But he knows what he wants, and with a final push, he was at the hilt.

He wastes no time, lifting up your leg and thrusting within you with feverish glee.

Your body can't seem to comprehend what was happening, your eyes closed in bliss, pleasure flowing through you and building up from each push of his form, that curved tip pushing against your G-spot and pleasure zones you'd forgotten you'd had, places only Reiners dick could stretch and reach.

With each movement, a loud groan or hiss sounded from the feral warrior, the wet, sloppy sounds music to his ears as you sing your song of pleasures.

"Shit... ah... all mine. Fuck, please... please don't make me wait this long again. This body feels so good... so perfect... baby... urgh I'm not gonna last... cum for me, sweetheart... I'm going to make you a mess..."

The words of filth from his mouth only add to your mounting pleasure, your body being the thing that has pushed him beyond his sanity.

Your nails sink into his back as he works you, your ability to speak has all but gone.

"Nurgh, harder..." He instructs. "Make me yours again... show me how good you feel right now."

You obey, sinking your nails harder into his back, his hiss of pleasure drowned out by the hiss of steam emitting from his small wounds as they heal.

"Again..." He moans.

You agree as he thrusts with more urgency knowing that the tightening of your insides meant he was pushing you towards your end.

"Good girl..." He smirks into your neck. "You're my good girl... cum for me..."

You gasp as you snap, your insides spasming and pulling him further into your orgasm. His loud groan fades away as everything goes black, your face numb as you're carried away to realms beyond your understanding.

You feel his thick liquid splatter against your cervix as you slowly fade back into your assigned dimension, your breath heaving as his spluttering cock is audible while it spews and vomits his seed into you. He collapses, grunting but he remains inside of you, the white sticky substance from his body leaking from you, his dick still as hard as it was when it first invaded your insides. You wince as he slowly begins thrusting again, your swollen and oversensitive cunt not yet ready for another assault.

"Gonna impregnate you..." He whispers with a smirk, somehow still not within his own mind. "You're gonna be all swollen with me... fill you right up... all big and full... URGH!"

You groan as you feel him pick up the pace. How is this even possible? Did he want you that much?

Your question is answered for you as he pushes your legs to your chest, the deep and full feeling almost too much as your sensitivity returns to pleasure.

"You've always taken me so well, princess..." He praises as he watches you with awe. "Such a good little pussy... so tight... all m-mine..."

You'd almost forgotten about his little kink of getting you all full of his seed but sure enough, he's quick to remind you as he continues to stuff himself as far into you as he'll go, his breathing hoarse and his groans even more so.

"R-reiner..." you gasp.

"Yeah baby... moan my name... I'll never get tired of hearing that..."

He plunges harder, the mess he's making down there evident as his balls and pubic bone are smeared with his thick load and your own wetness. It squelches and slides yet not once does your unbridled passion nor pleasure leave you.

"Look at me..." He orders, gazing into your very soul. "There's no way I'm letting you go again. You're mine. Say it."

"I..." you stammer through pleasure. "I'm y-yours Reiner. All yours..."

Satisfied, he plunges harder, the breath leaving your body as he partakes in self indulgence within you. His grunt of approval with your words loud and gruff, his focus on the last few pushes before your next orgasm.

"Shit, Reiner..." you curse as you swirl the drain, falling and tumbling into your second wave of bliss.

"Mmmm take my load...." He grunts as he cums again, maybe not as strong as the one he'd just had but just as sweet nonetheless.

He rolls off you, panting having pushed himself a little too far while his chest heaves. You immediately feel his hot goop spill out of you, the sheer amount of it surprising you. You knew he was capable of a huge load, but this?

He takes your hand, his gaze at the sky with a pained expression.

"I missed that..." His pants are heavy and laboured.

"Yeah... me too."

"Wait... what do you mean?" Armin whispers, eyes wide. "Are you... sure...? You can't be sure, right?"

"Tell me you're lying!" Mikasa screeches, grabbing Jean's coat with desperation.

"I'm sorry, you guys..." Jean's teeth clench, fighting and failing to hold in his sobs. "I saw it with my own eyes. She was eaten by the jaw titan. I couldn't get to her, I was flanked either side by Flochs flunkies... I'm sorry we couldn't rendezvous sooner, it was too dangerous. But yeah, that was a couple of hours ago now..."

Mikasa's legs tremble, Jean holding her arms to keep her steady as he continues; "When Eren finds out... I can't imagine this is going to help his current mental state, and I'm sure I'm not the only one who witnessed it."

Connie slumps to the floor - or rather the rooftop they were all standing on. "No... not another one... I cant... I can't keep doing this!"

"Come on guys..." Jean snarls through tears. "We still have plenty to do. She wouldn't want us putting our mission on the back-burner like this!"

His words are met with only sobbing as a reply.

"So they're here..." Armin ponders solemnly. "Which means -"

Their mourning is cut short as a huge explosion is heard, their automatic flinch and yelp of surprise now seeming like second nature as their ears are filled with a distant enraged roar.

Mikasa dabs her eyes, looking in the direction of the military building. "Looks like Eren has heard the news..."

Jean nods. "Come on, get it together! We gotta move!"

They all nod leaping into action, flying their ODM gear through the streets towards the plume of smoke, dust and titan steam.

Mikasa's thoughts race as she blasts towards another loud roar and smash. Maybe y/n managed to cut her way out? Please, anything but this. She can't lose anyone else...

She blinks away tears as she pulls herself up higher, the huge figure of Erens titan form now coming into view in the distance. She can already feel Eren slipping through her fingers, no matter how tightly she grasped. She couldn't lose you too.

Eren transforming has of course attracted all attention, Mikasa spotting another Jeagerist also heading towards the disruption. With a tug of her wires, she slings around the corner, blades raised and ready as the enemy spots her.

"He-!"

Before he could even finish his word her blade had sunken into his chest and removed again.

"Keep your eyes open!" She hears Jean yell. "They'll surely be more!"

"Its the Cart titan!" Armin calls down from up higher. "Its armed! It's got that artillery on its back!"

"Shit!" Jean hisses as they fly. "That thing cuts through us like paper mache!"

The plans gone to shit.

Porco thinks as his Titan form sprints through the town on all fours.

What's made Jeager expose himself like this?! Whatever the reason, I'm glad Magath is with Pieck up on the wall with the artillery. I hope Reiner heard the explosion, there's no way we can get word to him now.

His eyes spot a familiar figure, one of the Ackermans not too far away, also heading towards the attack titan. He gets poised, ready to attack when the image of you stabs into his head.

Shed be crushed if I killed her comrades. But... she made her choice. Right? Ackerman is a huge threat. I need to get rid of her now before she causes more trouble later.

He positions himself on a rooftop, titan eyes glaring and ready to pounce towards her in a sprint. It'll only take a couple of bounds before he's on top of her.

You sprint through the forest as fast as your legs can carry you, the thundering footsteps of the armoured sprinting pretty far ahead of you. You'd left your god damn ODM gear in that clearing Porco dropped you off in and Reiner in all his wisdom wanted you to get it yourself, the later you are to the fight, the better in his eyes.

You break through the clearing where Porco had released you from his mouth, the only sign of his previous presence the almost fully disintegrated titan corpse.

Your fingers fumble as you quickly grab your gear, glancing up and seeing Reiner leap over the top of the wall, disappearing with a huge crash on the other side. Your thoughts race as you attach your gear to your belt, working as fast as you possibly could to -

You freeze.

You heard a roar.

A different kind of roar.

One that filled the sky with static and a bright orange glow.

Zeke... he's... he's done it.

Deafening crashes emit in the distance, only pushing you to move faster. The amount of drills you've taken to get equipped as fast as possible didn't seem to have had any effect as each second felt like an eternity. You needed to be there. You needed to get there quickly. And even when you're done, it's a good run to the wall, nothing around you to sink your hooks into.

Finally ready, you break into your frantic sprint, your gear clinking loudly with your violent steps.

Please god, please... keep everyone safe... I just want this all to end...

Was that really Zekes scream? Had he done it? Turned everyone into a titan?!

"Keep em off him!" Mikasa screams as she zooms around and over Eren who is grappling with Reiner.

"There's titans everywhere!" Armin screeches. "Get the thunder spears ready! Take down the cart titans artillery!"

"Jean's taken down the Jaw!" Mikasa informs him as they zip towards the wall. "He saw it ready to pounce, but for whatever reason, it didn't."

"There's no time to ponder on details just now." Armin pants as they fly together. "Keep your focus on the job at hand."

"That goddamn monkey!" Jean curses from behind them. "He really did it... he's turned everyone who drank that wine into a titan!"

"Stay focused!" Armin reminds him. "Are you certain the jaw is down?!"

"Got him with a thunder spear. I missed my shot but it's down and won't be fighting anytime soon."

"Good." Armin hisses through his teeth. "We need to -"

He's interrupted by a loud cry from Mikasa.

"Its y/n!"

"What?!"

Sure enough they see you blasting over, taking in the situation.

The three of them blink in disbelief as they watch you head over towards the grappling titans.

"Focus!" Armin smiles. "Although... I cant say I'm not glad..."

Your eyes flicker across the scene, taking everything in. Zeke was down. Titan steam made visibility pretty low. Reiner was stuck against Eren with a long necked titan nibbling on his nape. You weren't too worried just yet, knowing Reiners armour will keep him safe for now. But then you see Gabi, alone and far too close to the fight in a town now swarming with Titans.

Landing next to her you grab her arm.

"Come on, hold onto me, I'll take you somewhere safe." You instruct.

Her eyes are wide staring at something you weren't yet aware of.

You turn to follow her gaze, a figure emerging from the thick, hot steam.

Your lips part and some unseen force seems to punch you in the gut as you see Porco, staggering towards you - half of his head is missing, his face covered in blood and yet... and yet he's smiling.

"It took everything I have to heal just this much..." His voice croaks, the effort of speaking too difficult.

He stumbles, still walking towards you.

Before you could even react, the titan chewing on Reiner leaps from him and heads towards the man who saved your life. The man who's heart you'd not long ago crushed cruelly in your palm.

"PORCO!" You scream.

And he was gone.

His legs flail in the air as the long-necked titan chews him in half right before your eyes; a scene now all too familiar.

Everything goes numb as you hear a roar of rage from Reiner, the surge of emotion giving him strength to pummel Eren into the ground with a single punch.

The world around you spins as you lose your balance.

Whether it was grief. Whether you'd just had enough... you didn't know. But all you were aware of was the hard ground meeting you before everything goes black.

Your eyes open, but you're not within the normal realm. You realise this is a dream and you recognise this place. It's the meeting place for you and Porco. The one you've shared for four years. Except now, he's standing with his back towards you.

Where you'd normally greet the other with glee, the atmosphere felt... different.

"Porco!" You gasp, sprinting towards him. "Are you okay?"

He doesn't respond.

You give him a small shake, panic gripping you harshly. "Porco, please tell me you're okay. What happened?"

He takes a step away. And another. And another.

You go to follow him but your feet are glued to the floor. With all your might, you just can't seem to pick your legs up off the ground.

You shout.

You scream.

You plead.

But without ever looking back, Porco continues to walk across the sand dune towards the star-filled sky until...

Your eyes fly open. You bolt up, breath heaving and tears falling down your face.

"Hey... its okay. You're okay..."

Reiner hovers above you, looking worse for wear.

"What happened? Where is Eren? Did Porco... was he really...?"

Reiners head lowers. He's not really sure how to respond to your question. He sees how broken you are. He didn't want to be the one to make it worse.

"Eren started the rumbling." Connie mutters from the corner of the room. "He's a lost cause."

Your brain fails to register his words.

Mikasa and Armin wrap their arms around you, more than glad to see you alive.

"Wait... what?" You struggle to comprehend. "No, he wouldn't do that."

"Its true." Armin whispers in your ear as he hugs you. He pulls back from your squeeze, looking forlorn. "We... we've joined forces with Reiners side. We... we have to stop Eren."

You let out a loud laugh, confusing your friends.

"So... this is what it's took, huh? For the pointless fighting to stop... its a little late... poor Porco... oh god... Porco..."

Reiner gives your hand a squeeze as you crumble into sobs.

"Who?" Jean frowns.

"Porco Galliard, the jaw titan." Reiner informs him. "He saved y/n's life earlier today. He hadn't eaten her. He saved her."

Your friends glare at the floor, guilt bombarding them.

"We need a plan." Connie huffs.

"We need to rest before anything else. Reiner is in no shape to fight and neither are we." Jean admits. "I mean, how much time do we have? Hours? Days?"

"I don't know..." Armin sighs.

You get to your feet slowly, still a little unsteady.

"This ends now. It has to. We can't take anymore."

The room remains silent and they ponder.

"We have to either kill Eren or let him kill everyone else."

22 notes · View notes

nyerus · 9 months

Note

Hi, Nyerus... Long time no see.... 😆😘 Sorry I just got log in to tumblr again. Because of you, I got into TGCF 3 years ago, thanks so much.... 💐

I know maybe this ask have been ask before, but can I ask your top 3 (or top 5) fav quotes from TGCF and why you love them? Thanks if you want to answer....

Welcome back! <3 It means the world to me that I helped you get into TGCF!

My top quotes from TGCF have gotta be (random order):

"Only having met you did I rediscover that it's such a simple thing to be happy." This quote absolutely killed me on the SPOT when I first read it. 😭 Xie Lian realizes how revealing it was for him to say this, but he was completely honest there. He spent centuries alone, in terrible conditions, always secretly hoping that maybe one day he would find someone who would cherish him for who he was, faults and all. He didn't have much happiness in his life, but was grateful for every kindness he encountered. Now with Hua Cheng, Xie Lian is finally able to laugh again, to feel safe, and be truly happy. Such simple, human things that he'd forgotten due to how lonely and difficult his life was.

"To watch with your own eyes your beloved be trampled and ridiculed, yet being unable to do anything. That's the worst suffering in the world." This was so iconic of Hua Cheng, and it comes before we learn the truth of what really happened to him and Xie Lian in the past. It perfectly describes why he is the way he is, and it sent chills down my spine! I think it's quite underrated, as well. Hua Cheng saw Xie Lian harmed and ridiculed so much in the past -- he will not stand for a single instance more!!! ;o;

"You saved me. I've always looked at you. In this world, there are countless people more 'successful' than you, but none of them could have saved me like you did. None of them could have done those things you did -- You have no idea how much courage you gave me, for me to become the me today." This quote is from Hua Cheng in the final amnesia extra. That whole extra was very entertaining and fun, but then it hits you with this and I started sobbing like a baby hahaha! Once again, it perfectly encapsulates why Hua Cheng is so in love with Xie Lian: not just because Xie Lian caught him, but because Xie Lian saved him in so many ways. He was the only person in Hua Cheng's life (after his birth mom died) that showed him true compassion and gentleness. Who believed him, and believed in him. This gave Hua Cheng courage. And then he saw Xie Lian stand against the impossible to try and help others, and continue to do the right thing even when it caused himself harm. Something no one else would do. Of course Hua Cheng fell hopelessly in love.

"Something like saving the world, it really doesn't matter how you do it. But, although brave, it's foolish. [...] Although foolish, it's brave." I love this quote because despite how much he admires and respects Xie Lian, he isn't afraid to give his honest opinion on things as heavy as Xie Lian's very ideals. He doesn't agree with Xie Lian's morality, and doesn't think the common people are worth saving in the same way as Xie Lian does. I feel like sometimes, people get the wrong idea that Hua Cheng is a doormat who just goes along with Xie Lian's ideas -- but that can't be further from the truth. Hua Cheng is quite vocal and straightforward about his own goals/morality/etc. He knows it's different than Xie Lian's, but that's just who he is -- a terrifying Ghost King who will do things his own way. (And Xie Lian really really likes that about him, and wouldn't want him to change!)

"What matters is you, and not the state of you." First said by Xie Lian, and then repeated by Hua Cheng when Xie Lian needed to hear it the most! It's THE iconic, quintessential Hualian quote. So of course it's a fave!

Thank you anon for sending in this ask! I had fun with it!

#tgcf #tian guan ci fu #heaven official's blessing #hob #hualian #i took these quotes from the fanTL because it's the only thing i have on hand at the moment... my physicals are downstairs lol #so the wording might be slightly off compared to the official

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he-goes-down · 1 year

Text

0. There Was A Time

fic chapters/warnings/disclaimers/ect

:DISCLAIMER:

Mentions of drugs/ sex ect.

English is not my first language

POV changes

x reader

inconsistent updates

time line is not perfect or accurate

Character may also not be accurate

I'll also be posting this on wattpad and maybe ao3

So if you see it wasn't stolen<3

Also i dont know how tumblr works and how to link chapters together(someone send help)

ALSO THIS NOT EDITED IN ANYWAY SO SORRY IF THERE ARE SPELLING MISTAKES

THANK YOU FOR READING MWUAH MWUAH

LEAVE COMMENTS <3

The studio was warm in the coldest night of this Autumn, warm yellowish light and the red carpeted floor made it feel like a cosy log cabin. A full drum set with a few too many ride cymbals and windchimes sat close to the middle of the fat bare bricked wall, with a small metal bucket that had the remains of broken splinter drumsticks. A rack of guitars and two bass holders stood next to the right wall where an old armchair sits, a few different sized amps scattered round the square room. Right in front of the glass that separates the control room from the studio three mic stand in a line with noise cancelling boxes surrounding each of them.

In the control room there is a strong smell of weed and other smokeable herbs, "No! You can't take Runaway Blues off the album!" A man with short shoulder length brown hair and a moustache protested as he puffed on his cigarette as he lied back on the couch, his dark glasses fell back on his face as he tilted his head back. "I agree with Jake. It shows how good we are even when we're shit faced." The man with long curly hair, a gorgeous ethnic nose, stood up – towering over the other 4 people in the sesh – and began to roll another blunt on one of the control panels. The one that started this debated piped in, "Thanks Dan for taking my side." He said sarcastically, his curly mullet was like a solid cloud on his head, and he has a moustache like Jake. "We'll our wonderful manager and producer here," A man that looked like Jesus pointed to a woman that sat next to Jake on the couch. "Was the one that wasn't shit faced, I think that's why it was actually good, Joshua." He finished. "Hey, hey, I'm not saying it's shit because of you, please believe me y/n!" Josh dramatically pleaded to y/n. She was looking up at the ceiling. Pupils dilated. Blunt in hand. "Just, make it shorter." She said confidently, waving her hand a bit. Still not looking at anyone and head craned back. "You have the answer to everything." Danny said his mouth slightly gaped that such a simple solution didn't register in any of their minds. Or he's just on a psychedelic trip and can't spark up a brain cell.

The following week the band had dates in LA since they were still doing there 'Dreams in Gold' Tour. The band was already at the venue setting up, some still sleeping in the bus. Y/n had some business to attend to in their studio in New York before going down to LA. She decided to walk down the infamous Sunset Strip, as a historic music place like this could not go untrekked when having the chance. Wearing a black turtleneck, dark blue flare jeans with dark brown boots and a satchel bag hanging from her shoulder, a small suitcase's handle in the other hand while the silver case dragged its wheels on the floor. As she caught the sight of the colourful sign of The Rainbow, a voice called to her. "Y/n?" A older man, short blondish hair, leather jacket, sunglasses.

Axl Rose.

And like the trigger of a gun being pulled,

A life was lost.

(or misplaced)

Y/n's POV:

Everything stood still,

I stood still.

Then it all went dark. It was a black lifeless void.

Falling backwards but being physically still.

Time was reversing.

A previous life. My life?

Memories rolling past like an old film.

My head spiralled.

I can't comprehend this. What is happening to me?

My first years of school, late 60's early 70's. That's not right. It was the early 2000's.

Falling in love with music, Queen, Elton John.

Highschool was trip. My parents being stricter than anyone else's, they didn't believe I could have a job as in the music industry.

Studying music in college then going on the Uni and taking a science course to get my folks off my back.

One of my most successful record deals was Mötley Crüe and Bon Jovi.

Before they even started writing lyrics for their songs, I knew it off by heart and helped them gain success with it and recording went like dream.

Now I was searching the East Coast for a new band to sign.

March 1985, The City of Angels.

A flash of light, and my eyes flickered open.

It a cold night, dark but the city light was somewhat comforting.

It was the Sunset Strip, but something was...

Off.

------------

OMG SORRY IF IT'S SHIT

THIS WAS LIKE THE INTRODUCTION, FIRST PART IS COMING OUT SOON

IM SO EXCITED

(Band at the beginning is greta van fleet )

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hoodmancol · 1 month

Text

Hello there, comrades on Rotomblr! I had quite a blast talking to people from my assistant's blog that I made him make me a blog! I can't find his blog though, what a shame. I know I remembered his blog name, but nothing shows up!

My name is Colress. He/Him. No, I am not wanted in Unova for any war crimes, that is simply not like me! I believe Orion also said he may log onto my account to make sure I am not 'behaving badly'. In such case, I will have an emoji next to my posts and he will too! I sign off with -🔬 and he signs off with -🦾

All of that mail and such is turned on, I believe!

last update 9/24 13:01 (ooc section update)

[ooc]

hello! welcome to the ooc section of this blog... please, read it through before interacting! don't worry, as much text as there is, there are brief summaries.

about the mun/mod!

my name is adon! of course, you could refer to me as adonciant or guy either. i dont mind! i go by he/him only, but if you want to use any neopronouns, feel free. i am a minor! my main is @adonciant, which is where likes and follows will come from. of course, all my rp blogs are also listed in my pinned on main!

when a post is signed off with ~🎱, that means its me speaking. it will always be paired with ooc post

─ⵌ call me adon, he/him! main is @adonciant! ~🎱 is muns signoff

interaction!

pelipper mail/unmail/malice: allowed!

musharna mail/malice: allowed!

mystery gifts: allowed!

magic anon: allowed!

in-character anon hate: allowed!

ooc/questions: allowed!

anyone is allowed to interact with my blogs! fallers, eeby deebys, hybrids, sapients, self-inserts, ocs, and in-game characters are all very welcomed!

if you ever want to start a roleplay, it's best to discuss it with me first within the blogs dms, unless i already allowed an offscreen post.

note: if i dont get around to an ask, never take it personally! i will always read any asks i get, but i just may not respond if i dont find it necessary.

─ⵌ all interaction from all blogs are allowed, but discuss offscreen roleplays with me beforehand. i may not be able to get around to your ask, but don't take it personally!

boundaries/notices

─the mod is a minor, and the character is 32! slightly suggestive asks are fine, but never should it come close to nsfw. just because colress is 32 doesnt mean you be weird to him.

─if you ever want to establish a connection between our characters, or want to plan events with yours involved, im always open for it! just dm me on either discord [username is adonciant] or on tumblr itself. i will be more than willing to hear your ideas and see what we can do!

─often times, i will do long threads of interaction. i like to reblog back and interact, but if you ever want me to stop without a sign in the roleplay itself for it to end, please tell me! alongside this, my threads do not get tagged with anything.

─there are a handful of content warnings to this blog. to roughly list, scientific experimentation/human bioegineering, mentions of war crimes/terrorism from unova, emotional abuse/manipulation, mild suggestive jokes, and alcoholism. this list is always subject to change, so stay aware. any triggering topics are tagged with associated tags ('topic' tw)

─ⵌ slighty suggestive asks are allowed, but nsfw is never allowed, always try to contact me if you want to establish connections or events, and heed the warnings! [you will need to read over the warnings.]

extra notes

this is a canon character, and the first time i played a canon character! however, he follows a specific story from after his involvement during/after alola. his canon is also mixed with headcanons, the games, and the manga. i probably wont respond to any asks that steer his story away from what is already established with him.

#pokemon irl #pkmn irl #pokemon #rotomblr #pokeblogging #pokeblr #roleplay #intro post

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writercole · 1 year

Text

Five Minutes More

Summary: Dean may have developed a crush on one of the girls he plays his mmorpg with. When she comes to town for work, feelings take over. Squares: Gamers spnfluffbingo Words: 2413 Warnings: Fluff, sweet Dean Credits: @princessmisery666 for looking this over ages ago. I'm lowering my expectations and posting it now. A/N: This was going to be a very long series but it's honestly a lot and I can't handle expanding it but it's so sweet that I have to share it.

Likes are loved but reblogs are golden. Patreon is gone. Tipping is available through Tumblr if you're so inclined.

Wednesday

“Alright guys, keep your focus. Another two percent,” the raid leader, Dean, better known in game as DWImpala, called over the voice chat. The only thing that could be heard over comms was the steady click-clack of key presses for spells and attacks. The numbers steadily decreased, chunks of the boss’s health falling off as the eighteen players gave their all.

The boss went down and everyone cheered, congratulating the lucky players who got loot and lamenting that they didn’t think the stupid horse existed since another week had gone by without a drop.

“Alright, I’m calling it here for the night,” he announced to his guild. “Next week we’re going to do a full clear, then go on raid break until we get new content.”

Players said their goodbyes and logged off the game and the voice server, leaving their officers alone.

“So, uh, I’m going to be out next week,” Scuttle announced. She was the healer lead and the few people who knew her well enough called her Y/N.

“Oh yeah? Hot date?” Demonfall, a DPS known as Ash, teased.

“Out of town for work, sadly,” she replied with a sigh.

“Anywhere fun, at least?” Dean questioned, disappointed that she’d be gone. She was great at her class, sure, but he’d also developed a bit of a crush on her.

“Not unless you count a tiny town in Kansas as fun,” she scoffed.

Dean’s heart skipped a beat when she said Kansas. He’d grown up there, hell, he still lived in Kansas. He knew the odds of her coming to his tiny town were slim.

But if he were honest, he wasn’t even sure he wanted to meet her. His crush was probably nothing; he didn’t even know what she looked like. But she was an awesome person from what he could tell.

He was vaguely aware of continuing conversation between the other two people but he wasn’t paying attention. His mind had gotten lost in fantasies and what ifs, trying to come up with a reason to find out more about what she did and where she’d be just to get a glimpse of her. He knew it was creepy to manipulate the conversation for information. So he kept his mouth shut.

The sound of a user disconnecting snapped his attention back to the present, his heart falling at the thought that he’d lost his chance to talk to her more. But when he saw that they were the only two left in chat, his mouth went dry.

“De? You still there?” she asked.

“Oh, uh, y-yeah,” he stuttered and cleared his throat. “Sorry, I kinda zoned out after you mentioned you were coming to Kansas.”

“Coming to Kansas? Is that where you are?” she questioned eagerly, anxious to get some kind of information from the private man she had started to have feelings for.

“Yeah,” he confirmed, “Lawrence.”

“You’re kidding,” she deadpanned, unable to believe what she was hearing.

“Uh, no,” he replied, confusion evident in his voice.

“That’s where I’ll be. If you have some time one day, maybe, if you want, you can show me where to get a decent burger?” Her voice held a lightness, a hope that he’d accept.

“I’d love to,” he answered enthusiastically. She’d been the first one to ask. She actually wanted to meet him.

“Really?! I mean, I’m there all week so it’s whenever you’re free but that would be amazing,” she babbled.

“So when are you getting in?”

“Sunday evening. I’m driving down and should be there somewhere around 5 or 6,” she informed, doing the math in her head about what time she needed to leave and how long the drive was.

“Okay, well how about we meet up Sunday evening? I can take you out for a late dinner,” he offered.

“That sounds great,” she agreed with a smile evident in her voice.

“Awesome. I’ll DM you my number and you can just text me when you’re close?” Dean suggested as he typed his cell into the chat box.

“I’ll text you from my phone so you can save my number, too. Just make sure your girlfriend knows who I am,” she chuckled.

“No girlfriend, sweetheart,” Dean clarified, “but you make sure your boyfriend is cool with it.”

“Yeah, about that,” she said softly, “we broke up two weeks ago.”

“What? Scuttle, why didn’t you say anything?” Dean scolded.

“I don’t know. I mean, it’s not like I was in love with the guy. So what if I caught him in his car with some redhead? It’s not a big deal.” Her voice contained a venom that Dean never wanted to be on the receiving end of.

“Where does this guy live?” Dean practically growled, anger at the man who treated her so badly burning in his chest.

She laughed then, a sweet giggle that doused the fire and diverted his attention.

“I’m serious, sweetheart. Say the word and I’ll take care of him,” he repeated.

“That’s sweet, De. But I’m fine, really. It’s getting late, though, and I have to work tomorrow and pack. I’ll see you Sunday?”

“Five minutes more?” he pleaded.

“Five minutes,” she confirmed.

Sunday

Five minutes turned into an hour. That hour turned into texting back and forth over the next few days, nearly all day long, and talking every night for hours. By the time Sunday came around, Dean was sure that he was falling for her.

As sure as Dean was that he was falling hard, so was she. Her ex had said that she cared more about that game and people she’d never met than him. In hindsight, he may not have been wrong. He was still a dick, though.

She texted Dean when she was leaving home and starting her drive. He smiled at his phone before slipping it back in his pocket and sliding back under his car, whistling as he worked. It was just a simple oil change and he was done in no time, deciding to wash and detail the car while he had time.

He sang along to Metallica as he dried the water, not realizing that he had a smile on his face until Benny walked over from next door.

“Wha’s gaht yah smilin’ like dat?” he teased in his thick Cajun accent.

“Nothing. I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Dean quickly denied.

“Who’z dah guhl?”

“What girl?”

Benny fixed him with a look, letting him know that he wasn’t buying it. Dean sighed and Benny smirked, knowing that he’d won that battle.

“Okay, so you know how I’ve told you about that girl I game with, Scuttle?” Dean started.

“Oh yeah, tha one you sweet on,” Benny replied.

“I’m not five, Benny. I’m not ‘sweet’ on her.” Dean rolled his eyes and Benny laughed before Dean continued. “Anyway, she’s coming to town for work and I’m taking her to dinner tonight.”

“You gonna tell Cher yah like her?”

“No. I mean, I don’t really even know her. She doesn’t even know me. And she just broke up with her boyfriend because she caught him cheating on her.” Dean returned to his work polishing the chrome trim on his car, pretending to ignore his friend standing behind him.

“Dean, she jus’ broke up wit’ her boyfriend. Don’ you think’ tha’ you should say somethin’ before some otha man does?” Benny chided as he shifted to see Dean’s face instead of the back of his head. “Girl like dat won’ be lonely long, brotha.”

“Jesus, Benny. Can’t I meet the girl before you give me the speech?” Dean whined as he stood up, his phone pinging in his pocket. He pulled it out without breaking eye contact with his friend, then looked down to see a message from her. He opened his phone quickly, finding a picture of a sign advertising Lebanon, Center of the Continental United States - 50 miles.

“How long?” Benny asked, not giving any other context.

“About an hour,” Dean replied without thinking, typing out a message and slipping his phone back in his pocket. He cringed when he realized what Benny had asked and saw the smug look on his friend’s face.

“Ah’m gonna go. See yah at work tomorrah. Gonna wanna hear all ‘bout th’date.” Benny strode away to his yard, leaving Dean to finish up the car and get ready to go out.

She texted Dean once she’d checked in and told him where she was. When he responded that he was on his way, her palms started sweating and her heart started pounding. She tried taking deep, calming breaths but nothing was helping the nerves.

A knock sounded on the door and she froze, panicked that he was already at the hotel. She was second guessing everything from her wardrobe to her hair to even meeting up with him. Another knock echoed through the room and she moved towards the door automatically, taking a deep breath as she turned the knob and pulled the door open.

Her breath caught in her chest when she laid eyes on him for the first time. There had to have been a mistake. There's no way this is…"Dean?" she asked as she met his gaze.

"Yeah," he confirmed with a wide grin. "It's nice to meet you, Y/N."

“Wow, I…you look nothing like I pictured,” she blurted out, quickly following up with “that’s not a bad thing! I just didn’t expect…you know…a model.”

He chuckled at her candor, ducking his head while the tips of his ears turned red. “You flatter me, sweetheart, but you’re the one who could be a model. I knew you’d be gorgeous but I didn’t expect to have the wind knocked out of me.”

“That’s sweet, De,” she giggled. “Do you want to come in? Five minutes and I’ll be ready,” she told him as she backed into the room.

“Yeah, five minutes. No problem,” he replied.

Dean took her to a small diner where they had burgers and pie, laughing and talking until they were the only two people left in the restaurant. It was still early so they opted for a ride around town with the windows down, the cooling air blowing around in their hair as Dean drove down quiet roads.

He kept stealing glances at her, drawn to the way the moonlight surrounded her in an ethereal light, making her glow. He pulled down a dirt road and turned off the headlights, letting the full moon be his guide.

“Is this where you kill and bury me?” she joked as he parked the car.

“Nah,” he chuckled, “this here is the best part of Lawrence.”

Dean stepped out of the car and walked around to her side, opening the door and offering his hand to help her out of the car. He kept a hold on it as he started to walk through the trees ahead of them.

She followed him quietly, trusting him completely. They stepped through the trees and she gasped at the sight before her.

Inside a quiet clearing was a small pond, barely big enough for a boat to float comfortably. Moonlight reflected off of the water, sparkling as the small waves moved in the breeze. A little dock led to a small gazebo over the water.

Dean took her to the gazebo and she looked around in awe; the roof was made of a clear material, allowing her to see the stars shining in the sky. Thick benches lined the walls of the wooden structure, a waist-high railing surrounding the edge, the rest of the space open, allowing the cool breeze of the night to pass through.

Dean watched as she took in the space, her eyes wide and her jaw slack. He knew this was the right spot. It’s where his brother took his wife for their first date, where Benny took his fiancee’, where his parents had their first date. The hope that something could bloom here lifted his heart and drove out the nagging thoughts of her leaving again.

She turned around to face Dean, finding him standing next to a pile of blankets and pillows that she was sure hadn’t been laid out when they got there. He reached out his hand and she accepted it, following his lead and settling into the soft mountain to watch the stars.

As the pair talked and laughed, they drifted closer to one another, lying on their sides facing each other when Y/N started to yawn.

“We should get you back to the hotel,” Dean told her quietly.

“No, no, I’m fine,” she insisted. “Five minutes more.”

“Five minutes then we head back,” he promised.

“Five minutes.”

Monday

Dean woke to sunlight streaming in his face and a heavy warmth across his chest. He stretched, thinking he was in his bed, only to be met with wooden planks surrounding him. Memories of last night came flooding back and his eyes fluttered open to find Y/N sleeping soundly on his chest, still in the gazebo over the small pond.

His gaze had found a home on her peaceful face and he stared unabashedly, counting the barely there freckles across her cheekbones, admiring the way her lashes brushed her cheeks, resisting the urge to trace the soft lines around her mouth and eyes. She began to stir and cuddled closer to him.

Dean prayed she couldn’t tell how fast his heart was beating beneath her ear in her half-awake state. His arm tightened around her, holding her close. He closed his eyes and wished for time to stop, to be able to stay in this moment forever. His hopes were dashed when his phone started vibrating in his pocket, the alarm he had set for work blaring through the silence.

Scuttle groaned and swiped towards the sound while Dean fished in his pocket for the offending device. He turned it off and gave his attention back to her, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

“Hey, sweetheart, it’s time to wake up,” he coaxed, his hand trailing up the arm tossed over his chest.

“Noo, five more minutes,” she mumbled as she wiggled next to him.

“Five more minutes,” he agreed quietly, a soft smile gracing his face, the possibilities of the upcoming week shrinking under the impending end of their fling. He would enjoy the next five minutes of her in his arms as if it were the last.

#writercole #dean winchester #jensen ackles #five minutes more

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buf309 · 1 year

Text

Self-Love Tag Game

Tagged by @whateversawesome

List your top 3 favorite works you’ve done (art fics whatever u want) AND WHY :D gotta make sure to do the why👹no self deprivation here🕺Feel free to rope anybody else into this chain we gotta self lovo 🤸‍♀️

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If you aren't counting those comics I drew as fanart for my friends' fanfic, I think I'm most proud of these three:

1/ [DOPPELGÄNGER]

My biggest fancomic project to date, which I think most people can't quite understand right now, and they keep a cautious "wait and see" approach 😂 Because every time I updated, there was a spike in new followers, but notes on the post itself is quite low compared to my other short comics.

At least, my test-readers, aka. my friends, who has read the rough draft of this story, told me it was interesting enough 😳 I believe in them. Well, even if no one else likes it, this is a challenge I'm doing first and foremost to entertain myself, so I'll see it through to the end no matter what.

2/ [The Adventure of the GREAT L❤️Y SHIP]

This one was just a lighthearted idea I got after reading many fellow shippers' lament about the TwiYor drought back then 😂

It has 3 basic concepts "tiny TwiYor boat in the middle of nowhere", "Loid sleep on Yor's lap", and "Yuri, Franky and Loid being a pain in the butt to each other". I think I manage to portray all of them clearly enough.

I'm very fond of this carefree Post-Reveal!AU, where nothing will ever go wrong, I have ideas for 2 more stories, one about Yuri and one about Handler. Maybe even one for Franky someday 🤔

3/ [Comfort]

Well, this spot is a toss between this one and a new trilogy comic which yet to be drawn. And the tag said "work I have done", so I choose Comfort instead. And I have no clean-enough pics of the trilogy at all is also a big factor 😂

This one is my most well-known and most stolen piece of work, only the "Bond nap" comic comes close enough. The original draft only had the 2 panels above, the rest are just for the purpose of leading up to them.

Funny enough, like a signal, every time I log into tumblr and see it climbs back to the top post position in my activity and not my other recent posts, I get a feeling of "ah, people get bored already, it's time to make something new then" 😂

-----------

Yeah, that's it.

Well, please only do this if you have the time and feel like sharing, okay? @crucipuzzled, and because I'm very curious @aerequets, what about yours? which of your fanwork is your most favorite?

#personal

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pocato · 2 years

Text

@raisans-art hello! I love your wing AU! Also I don't trust tumblr to send this via ask so I'm just gonna tag you!

So, after reading a bit about your ideas, I started thinking. How would Ingo fall to Hisui?

The answer decided to come as a fanfic!

Warning for mentions of wounds and well... hunting and all the things that come with that.

Cold. So cold. All around him.

Has the ground always been this white?

Where was he before?

The weight on his back shifts, but he quickly comands it to stop. Moving those hurts too much.

Everything hurts, So Much.

Who is he?

Before this all encompasing whiteness, was there something? A name? A memory? Someone else?

The cold seeps into his bones and chills his feathers to the core. He should move, keep warm in motion. He's too tired to do so.

Contemplating his last moments and seeing if he can reach the other life with at least a way to call himself, the figure falls unconsious.

A curious purple creature approachs it. It's not familiar with this one's scent. Must be an outsider. What is it doing wandering so far?

No matter, this being needs help, and giglar is too small to carry it. Luckily, a machoke is nearby with it's young, so with a promise of a challenge, the mother aids the fallen one to reach a safer place.

When he comes to, he finds himself nestled somewhere warm. He hurts less too. A memory flutters to the forefront of his mind. He grasp it with a desesperation he didn't believe himself capable of.

A man in white smiling, calling someone. Was it him?

Ingo!

He's not quite sure, but at least now he has a name for himself.

He decides to open his eyes, and finds himself far too close to a smiling blissey. How uncourt of him! He's sleeping on her pouch!

The sound of other pokemon rouse him fully. He's safe here, these kind creatures came to his aid. He would thank them all if his throat wasn't killing him. Best he can do is offer a tired coo and chirp.

This seems to be enough. He's glad.

After a bit of moving, he manages to stand, but it's quite obvious he shouldn't move too much. Blissey eggs can work wonders, but they don't heal humans that well...

How does he know that?

Not important right now. He needs fire, water and if possible, food. There's a bit of wood in this cave, so he just needs to ignite it and then search something that can hold snow to boil it.

Machoke decides to help, seeing that what he tries is also helpful for everyone inside. Gligar goes out, possibly to search for food. Hopefully it brings extra.

The little machop finds a bowl shapped thing seemingly made of metal between the other stuff that was near him. A pat on her head as a thank you is very well recieved.

Cave becoming cozier by the minute and snow slowly melting, is when he strips of his outer layers to help them dry, and curls his wings around himself. Moving them stills hurts, and the hiss he can't quite contain arouses the worry of his companions.

Timing is on his side and this is when gligar returns, bearing the spoils of her hunt. He's not quite sure how to prepare the meat for consumption, so he leaves that for later while he stabs berries to roast over the fire.

Once he (mostly) manages to skin the carcass, he prepares it to smoke it until cooked. A bit of weirdly crunchy salt will help it have extra flavor and also make it last longer.

Like that, surrounded by good company, is how he spends his first day in an unknown land.

Next time he wakes, the fire was out, his clothes dry and he had enough energy to try to find food by himself. He tries to take flight, but his body demans he stays on the ground.

His companion seem to have an idea of what he wants to do, so they follow him while he searchs for more wood, water and food.

He finds a few mostly dry and small logs, some weird radishes, more berries, a few chunks of salt, one or two mushrooms that seem safe for human consumption and other things that will hopefully help him. Coming back to the cave to leave his treasure, he's derailed by blissey who insist on going in a certain way.

They find themselves in a termal water lake. Oh! Blissey can boil he egg here and make it's healing more potent!

Apparently they're not the only ones interested, a few pokemon of all kind come near and blissey is more than happy to share.

Ingo feels good enought to strech out his wings, but it seems he needs another sesion before he can soar again. Grabbing his treasure, they make way back to camp. But they stop when gligar anouces the precense of another pokemon in front of the entrance.

An abra is floatting dangerously close to the ground, seems he was attacked, managed to flee but it was drained. Blissey wouldn't have more eggs until later. So he decides to approach. The small abra tries to use it psychic powers, but they're so weak right now, they only blur his vision a little.

When he manages to get close enough, the poor thing collapses on the snow. He cradles it within his arms and makes a cocoon with his wings then goes inside the cave to see if any of the food he found can be used as medicine.

Machop points towards a leek, and once he hands it over, they crush it and squezze it's juice over the wounds of the abra. He makes a pulp with oran and sitrus berries and slowly feeds his newest passenger.

Once they're treated, he lays them to rest against him and covers them with his wings. Blissey and machoke cuddle together to keep warm after starting the new fire. Machop and gligar both decide to joing him and lean against him while he takes part of the guest nest that blissey leaves for her patients.

He drift into dreamland looking at the fire, and for a moment, he swears he saw a flicker of purple.

The next day arrives and abra seems to be doing better! And as a matter of fact, so is he!

He manages to do small take offs, but he's still too tired for proper flight. In a pinch he can glide, but better leave it for emergencies. Safety first!

He decides to bring a bit more food to stock up and repay the pokemon's kindness. As much as he doesn't mind their company, he will, sonner or later, need to find people like him.

The leek trick machop showed him the other day came in handy, he uses the juices to preen his feathers and heal the bumps that hurt the most.

The direction they have choosen today guides them towards a temple, but it seems quite empty of human life. A huge... Braviary? (They're not suppoused to look like that, but how are they suppoused to look like in the first place? And how does he know what it is? His head hurts.) Looks down on them, but otherwise leaves them alone.

On the way back the earth starts shaking. Looking up almost gives him a heart attack. That's the biggest pokemon he has ever seen, wherever it's going, he's going to wait far away until he can fly, or make sure no one get's crushed.

Another day, another session of boiled egg, another night cuddling for warm. Time passes as he slowly heals and learns more and more about the place he ended up in. Sometimes he can't sleep, and goes to the entrance and hears the calls of the ghost that trive at night. He avoids exploring on his own, always some of his new agents go with him to keep in out of trouble, much too curious for his own good, their gazes seem to say, even if there's fondness hidden away in a exasperated frown.

Gligar and him take to the skies once blissey gives the ok, and he makes a few rounds of everywhere they been. On the distance, there's a mountain that reaches the heavens. The sky has not been unclouded since he arrived, and he's reluctant to break through and lose sight of everything for now.

His wariness pays off, there's smoke in the distance, far too clear to be a fire type. He get's very excited, and dives down to get a closer look. The night gives him cover with his darker plumage and black clothes, and he manages to make out a few humans making rounds near a settlement. Why aren't they flying? No matter, he leaves in search of his friends, he must thank them and bid them goodbye.

Only, the littlest ones in the group refuse to separate from him. Hm, he's not sure he can carry machop, (there's a device that allows him to carry pokemon easily, he's quite certain, but he has none with him, a shame) so he'll just fly slowler. He's about to depart when machoke holds him back. Right, is late. Better go in the morning and try to bring with him some of the stuff blissey won't need.

Morning paints the clouds a light grey and after they say goodbye, he makes way towards the settlement with new cars attached to his train.

(What's a train?)

Little machop runs ahead, but the guards of the place among the snow shout and draw spears towards his charge. That's not right.

A shout comes from the ground, in a language he's vaguely familiar with. For the first time, he realized he has almost completly comunicated with animalistic sounds. He really needs to talk to people again. But he's going down the wrong track. Focus!

The guards try to make machop go away, but they nick her little fist instead. She cries out in pain, and he growls.

He dives down in front of her, shielding her with his whole wingspan. Abra teleports right behind him, and gligar perches on his shoulder.

The people are afraid. And well, this is not the best first impresion, but they shouldn't harm a peaceful pokemon! He tries to communicate as such but, the language escapes him, only the most basic of words come to the forefront.

"No hurt friend."

That came louder than he expected, but he's not suprised. He's angry but he should control his volume. He learned some time ago how easily sound creates avalanches.

A muscular man, followed by an elder woman and a teen, break out of the group of terrified people. (Did he do something wrong? Their guards hurt an innocent creature!) They seem to be muttering a word that reminds him of zoroark and zorua, but also brings pain to his head, so he ignores it and tries to appear less hostile. Retracts his wings, but uses them to shield his friends. Passes a berry to machop to eat and heal, which he knows she appreciates.

"Stranger."

It seems that the others finally decided to adress him, so he gives them his full attention and his gaze zeroes on the teen, the one who spoke.

"What are you? What are you doing here?"

Either he misunderstood something, or they're quite rude. Still, after translating the best he can, he answers.

"Me, Ingo. And lost. Help?"

By the looks of the three who came foward, this is going to be a very tedious hassle.

Welp, that's it! Hope you like it! Drew inspiration from this twitter thread too:

#lmao sorry #I get hooked easily and sometimes I get intense #but i'm damn near obsessed with pokemon as thou shall see #pokemon #ingo pokemon #pokemon arceus #pokemon legends arceus #pokemon legends #pla #wing au

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mebemilena · 9 months

Text

Not like we have a date with destiny

You met Layla online and her visits to your store became more regular.

---

A/N:

it's been YEARS i don't post anything, just silently reading fanficion around. Gotta relearn how to use Tumblr again. I waited one year to watch Moonknight, always wait for the hype to pass because i know i get hyped too and my poor mind can't really take that. I absolutely loved Layla, that's a fact.

as usual, i'm just trying to exercise my english writing skills. I feel like this was a part of a bigger piece but I can't really develop much. Thank you for reading though. Life's been a bit difficult at times. Lots of anxiety and fear of the future. I wanted to get something light.

i'm starting a series, that's why Sersi is mentioned.

my AO3 link if you'd like to see.

You met Layla online. She sent a message to the store you worked at looking for a specific book. You attended her on the phone and she went to the bookstore shortly after, paying in cash.

"You're a lifesaver.", she thanked you.

Soon, her visits to the store became more regular. Layla would take her time to read the back of the covers or arrive with a specific request. You became friends over illustrated books though, specially the ones about ancient culture. You told her about your beliefs and about your own culture, finding it amazing when she shared her own story. There was no denying you had a great connection.

"We should go out for drinks.", Layla invited you. "We only meet when you're working or when I need something work related." she'd insist.

It was true. You had never met in other circumstances and knew very little about each other outside duty, except a few things you could notice by yourself. Layla was an interesting woman, she was gentle and polite. Maybe not very social but very friendly anyway. It wasn't hard to slowly fall for her but of course you decided to keep a safe distance. If she didn't like you like that by any chance, you were not up to spoil the friendship you were developing.

"Let's do it tonight then? It's Friday, tomorrow's my Saturday off", you agreed. Was it too soon?

Layla seemed to think for a moment. Almost like she didn't believe it had been so easy. All she had to do was ask. Simple like that. "Okay.", a smile ghosted her lips and she shook her head, as if getting rid of intrusive thoughts. "It's gonna be fun."

Around 6:30pm, when you had closed the store, Layla appeared by the door. She was supposed to text you her location and you'd meet here but she had other plans. "I thought it'd be nice for us to walk there, it's not far from here.", she explained.

Layla was uncaractheristicaly nervous. She was watching her feet as you walked to the bar and you could sense the thick atmosphere. Was she nervous?

"So, i think we could grab something to eat first.", She finally looked at you. "You know, so that we won't get drunk too fast."

You agreed, as easy as it sounds, and suggested a small cantina you liked. You had some pizza and decided to just try their wine, not wanting to leave the cozy place. You drank and ate and talked for hours, leaving only because the owner came talking to you saying it was time for them to close.

Layla walked you home, the cold air sobering you up way too fast. Your night couldn't end better, though you thought that maybe it could. If Layla kissed you goodnight.

You stood by your doorway and bent goodbye and Layla kissed your cheek when you hugged. It happened a few time after that. You went out for drinks or food, hanging out together for log walks, cultural programs and sometimes to watch movies at each other's place.

You were talking about your romantic life when you mentioned the last mess you got involved in. "She was nice and all. Really. We'd go to the museu, to natural parks. We had fun together, i thought we were fine. But then her ex came along and she just disappeared.", you told her, realizing that it didn't really hurt anymore.

Layla listened to you, giving the attention you deserved. There was a hint of something in her eyes and she smiled. "Just like we do? You seem to have a type.", she said, playfull.

You chocked on your drink.

Layla laughed at your antics and gave you a napkin. She kept looking at you, a smile never leaving her face. "I mean, you said she was a Historian, that she worked with museology, and i'm an archeologist. We both like going out for drinks and trying new food, we're both into ancient culture...", she explained.

Your jaw dropped, you were speechless. Layla looked into your eyes and took a big gulp of her wine before dropping the bomb. "We both have a close relationship with our exes, she told you. "I mean, i just got divorced.", her eyes inspected you for the smallest of reactions.

You felt your heart falling on the floor. If she had just gotten a divorce it meant she probably wasn't ready for any romantic bullshit. Part of you was okay with that, because you liked her a lot and were willing to accept what she had to give you. Another aspect she had in common with Sersi.

The other part of you was catching the bitter taste of rejection.

Layla was waiting for you to say something, you knew that. But there were no words for you to use. She seemed to understand the hint and started talking again. "We are friends though. Kinda.", she cleaned her throat. "We work together sometimes.", she explained and noticed you were still silent, which made Layla start to panic. Was it the wrong time? The wrong words?

She took a deep breath. "I don't know where this is going but i'd love for it to continue.", she smiled, almost shy at herself. You nodded and approached her side of the couch way too slowly , kissing the tip of her nose.

Layla relaxed and smiled larger. She placed her hands on your cheeks before kissing you on the lips.

---

#layla el faouly #layla el faouly x reader #moonknight fanfiction

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antiradqueer · 9 months

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Okay, allow me to tell you this story, because I literally just got back from school because I got sick BECAUSE of this story (it's not that bad actually, I'm pretty sensitive to these things, but it's still interesting)

So, there is a blog (that I prefer not to name) that is very famous among the community of my identity. I saw all my favorite blogs interacting with this blog and this blog has even interacted with ME (and they are so famous that I felt like I was talking to a celebrity that day)

But, I had never taken the initiative to follow them. Out of shame, since I felt they were a VERY important person and I am extremely sensitive to criticism (especially from people I consider important).

Well, I overcame all my shame and started following them a few days ago. I noticed that in their pinned post there was nothing about opinions on radqueers but since they always interact with my favorite blogs that are openly anti-transid and anti-c and vice versa, I just thought it was kind of obvious, like, I think being anti-PRATs is the "standard opinion", right?

Well, that went on for some time. Very little time, in fact. In less than two days, I noticed that their account simply disappeared from the list of people I followed. I was scared thinking that the account had been suspended, but I was suspicious that that wasn't the problem... And in fact it wasn't, they blocked me.

Well, it's not like I'm some horrible monster who would punish them for it or smth, but I was bothered by what I could have done to make this happen. I have never been blocked in my life, and by such an important person? I know being blocked on Tumblr isn't something you should take personally, but without any discussion? I don't wanted but took it personally, and that's what triggered my super-strong-anxiety-attack that made me feel sick today.

So, for that reason, I decided to check their pinned post again, see if I missed anything, violated any limits (unintentionally) or something, and then I logged in under another account, but I didn't find anything. But, of course, I still wanted to see their posts, and I kept seeing them (even though every time I remembered that anxiety and wondered if I was too horrible to be blocked by someone so amazing).

Then, checking out this blog of theirs and some other sideblogs (sorry, I know what I did sounds terrible, and it really was, but I became so obsessed with what I could have done, maybe this is my possible AvPD but I'm not sure), I found two very interesting things...

First, a post that started with "hey antis" (🚩?) and then went on to say that assuming that all transid or paraphilic people should "see a psychologist/psychiatrist" is the same as assuming that people with other disorders have to go to therapy to "cure themselves" and only then be allowed to live in society. And, in fact, if you think of "transid" as meaning, in this specific case, BIID or Munchausen (I'm not sure if that's how you spell it but I believe you know what I'm talking about), and think that paraphilic disorders still are disorders, it's a good point to make, so I didn't mind so much... But I was a little more alert.

So the second one was posted on the main blog, and it was simply they saying that "transid ppl are not racists or ableists, and most antis are ableists because they think being transid is a disorder and still shame people for it" and... Yeah, I think that concludes the story. I felt sick today because of the anxiety of the other days, but more than that, I can't stop thinking about it. It's like my whole world has fallen apart. Such a loved person in my community... and they simply support transid. Crying, screaming even.

TL;DR: there is this super famous blog in my identity community and I finally overcame my shame and started following them a few days ago, but I was blocked days later. I started looking at their blog (and sideblogs) to see why they blocked me, and I found, on a sideblog, a post saying "hey antis" and arguing that transids shouldn't be forced to go to therapy, and after forgiving that one, I found another post on their main blog, and this time it was just them saying that antis are ableists because "they think being transid is a disorder and they still persecute transid ppl".

sorry for the late answer

long ass ask so imma just let others read

#anti radqueer #mod mew #anti transx #anti transid

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chaos0pikachu · 1 year

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Okay, so I finally had time to log back into tumblr and see you explained about Midnight Museum but now I am even more confused. So like, Khatha is immortal, but Dome isn't? But they were ~sworn brothers~ in the 1800s? Or is Dome also immortal but he doesn't remember Khatha? Or does he remember him and that's why he's his shit employee? But like if I was remembered being someone's ~brother in arms~ I'm not gonna like be your employee, lol. Are they really running a brothers thing when this man is like on the ground with this other's man foot on his thigh and like giving him an anklet? AN ANKLET? In 2023? And they're straight people? And brothers at that? With a $3 BILLION anklet? Why does Off get to be paired with damn near every woman in this company but Gun can't be in a show with another dude being his man? THAILAND EXPLAIN (pointing at map like the america explain vine).

Okay, first, I love how stuck you are on the 3 billion dollar anklet cause bitch me to the fuck Khatha lmaooooo

Lemme see if I can break this down, some light spoilers:

Khatha owns the museum, we know this b/c he says so and he's wearing a sexy suit and has a sexy cane to boot. All mysterious supernatural building owners wear sexy fashion statements Hotel Del Luna taught us this. Khatha is immortal, but via a curse, so he's constantly sad and struggling. He's a wet cat, just sad, pathetic, and crying. It's very hot, good for him.

Khatha was cursed by his """"bro"""" Chan something like 200 years ago. Chan is played by the same actor as Dome (we'll get there stay wit me) so they share a face. Khatha found Chan passed out in a boat b/c God likes to gift angel faced twinks to struggling disabled men sometimes I guess. Khatha is an orphan so he had no name, so Chan names him "Khatha" which means cane/spector apparently so whenever Google translates tweets from Thai fans they always say "I can't believe cane/the mace did this" and it's unintentionally hilarious

Oh and Khatha names Chan, Chan b/c he "found [him] under the moonlight". Khatha and Chan are Tragic AF for some reason Khatha thinks naming the angel faced twink after the moon is like, a lead in to being brothers. So Khatha is like "hey 'let's be adopted bros now" and Chan is like....I'm new here so I guess? Chan also has magic, he's able to heal ppl. Eventually he accidently becomes like a worshipped deity in their small village and another dude named Boon is like his top worshipper. This all causes friction between Chan and Khatha cause Khatha's low key lonely and jealous.

Khatha is like "let's run away together just the two of us as brothers like how it used to be" and Chan's like, nah. Khatha tries to join the army so he can be worthy of standing by Chan's side and the army is like "we gotta burn the witch (Chan)" and Khatha makes a deal with the army that they'll let him join if he gives them Chan and they're like "we totally won't hurt your brother" and Khatha's like I totally trust y'all won't hurt my brother

The army burns Chan alive.

Chan cursed Khatha and we zoom back to the present where Khatha is the museum owner.

Enter Dome! Dome is also magical and at first Khatha wonders if he's like Chan's reincarnation or something but he's not. Dome is a separate being (??). Dome gets invited to the museum by Khatha and Dome's ex bff breaks in and steals a bunch of evil shit with some buddies. Dome feels bad and is like "I gotta help you get the evil shit back!"

Dome and Khatha go on Getting Evil Shit Back adventures and proceed to Have Moments and Khatha keeps touching Dome's face like it's going out of style. Also holding him cause Dome passes out more often than a frat dude during rush week.

After like, the 5th time of Dome putting himself in danger b/c he's brave but dumb and shockingly fragile Khatha is like "I'm buying you this protection anklet" and then fires Dome for his protection. The next episode 85% of Khatha's screentime is dedicated to pining after Dome, looking at his corkboard of Dome photos, gazing longingly and sadly at Dome's photographs, crying on the phone after Dome calls him to wish him well. It's pathetic, it's beautiful, it's romantic.

Other stuff like cults, the end of the world, that dude from Bad Buddy showing up, that dude from 2Gether also showing up, the two dudes from the Thai adaption of Cherry Magic are also here, a whole episode of soul crushingly attractive women some I think were in F4 are also here as well. There's also like, four versions of God, and the Horsemen of the Apocalypse are here too. Chan shows back up too for funsies.

Dome ends up in like, an alt realm where he imagines Khatha to keep himself company and they look at the universe together. Dome is able to see real!Khatha by picturing the person he's "longing for". Khatha is hella determined to get Dome back.

Some more plot stuff happens, more crying, more resolving one's inner grief, a couple deaths, some deals with evil spirits are made. Khatha and Dome meet their world's version of God who 3rd wheels their floating rock date. They have and the height difference has a chokehold on me.

At the end Khatha has to find Dome even tho all the higher beings in the universe are like "don't do it" and Khatha is like fuck y'all I gotta find my "missing piece". They find each other, they hold hands and then run into the future together (away from gun fire and stuff like ya do).

So Dome's not immortal but he is magical, Khatha was immortal via a curse. The series is Khatha getting over a past love (Chan) and moving to a new love without guilt (Dome) and no one can convince me otherwise.

We all need a season 2.

#midnight museum the series #midnight museum #khathadome #chaos pikachu talks to damn much

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corpsemaggots · 1 month

Text

I'm not using Tumblr to post art anymore, but I'm not deleting it.

I haven't used Tumblr to post art in over a year, logging in today for the first time in around a year. Over the past year I heard that Tumblr had automatically opted-in all existing blogs to AI scraping.

I thought that's the most horrible thing an art website could do, the most actively harmful to everyone who has ever trusted it. So, I thought something must be done about that.

I didn't have time to figure out my login info and "opt out" when it started. And I stopped hearing about it, so I assumed that something must have been done.

But I logged in to check the setting today. It was still automatically opted-in. Nobody ever did anything about it.

My own blog's art will remain up. I wonder if the damage has already been done to it, but at least further damage can't be done to it.

Thousands of other inactive art blogs are still being scraped for AI training without consent. That's the worst and most harmful thing I can possibly imagine Tumblr would do as a place to keep art. And yet, it's still doing that, with no repercussions. It's benefiting from decades of trust, from inactive blogs and the art of those who are no longer with us.

My art isn't even that good. But I believe that it's harmful to humanity itself to do this kind of a disservice to so many thousands of artists, especially those who are no longer with us, those who can no longer "opt out". So I can't use Tumblr at all with a clean conscience.

I also don't post my art on Twitter anymore. So, sorry I don't have an alternative to share.

Still 100% respect for every artist who continues to use Tumblr. You are so awesome and I'm so glad that you proudly share your art. I hope that the platform you share it on will realize the kind of value you are placing in its hands. And the value thousands of people have placed in its hands. And honors what those who have given to it and are no longer with us, with the honor it deserves.

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flagellant · 2 years

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we had an interaction once that I still think about. mostly because it still really bothers me. in essence, what happened is that I annoyed you and you blocked me. normal. and then a few weeks later, i saw a reblog where you said you had asked me to stop and I didn’t. i refused. and that was why you had blocked me. you said I had knowingly and intentionally violated your boundaries.

but you didn’t ask me to stop. to be clear, I didn’t need you to. it’s not required. you can just block people for being annoying. what bothers me is that if you had asked, I would have listened. I would have respected it. if you had actually told me my behavior made you uncomfortable, I would have stopped. it really genuinely hurt that people believed (and had no reason to doubt!) that I had been given that chance and rejected it. you told people i had been given the time and the attention and the trust to ask me to stop and I didn’t. it was a tiny, meaningless interaction and it hurt because it stopped being about being annoying and started being about the idea I was a genuine prick. and it wasn’t true. because that’s not my character and it never has been.

don’t. tell people you’ve given others chances that you haven’t. you don’t have to give them. it’s fine to block people because they’re annoying, just. don’t make them out to be cruel while you do it. i’m not cruel. I respect people’s requests. I care about others’ boundaries. you didn’t need to give me that chance, I was one person in an avalanche. but if you had, I would have honored it. and i am just. genuinely hurt that a lot of people might believe that I wouldn’t.

obviously this is not my actual tumblr. gonna log out of this and prob forget it exists right after. been on this site long enough to know that askbox and dm glitches were resolved at the time of the interaction. I just. wanted to remind you that things can be nonsense. you can block annoying tumblr users just for that. it doesn’t have to be a moral thing. it’s not necessary to malign someone just because you don’t like their vibe.

have a good one.

Sorry at first I was going to respond like "I have no idea what youre talking about" but I actually think I know what you're talking about.

If you aren't the person who decided to have an incredibly long and irritating conversation with your friend on one of my posts and then, when I was like "Yo stop that this is irritating", you said "No lol I can do what I want its my blog", I'm tentatively sorry but I have no clue who you are or what you're referring to, so I can't actually genuinely apologize or even meaningfully take part in this conversation.

Also like. You don't need to preach at me about not needing an excuse to just find someone irritating. I'm aware. Relax.

If you ARE that person though: LOL imagine seeing me say "Hey I don't like you're doing this and would prefer if you moved it to DMs where I didnt have to see it" and thinking that it isnt me explicitly stating a boundary and asking you to stop

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hanarchy · 2 years

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Hi friends, I illegally logged into tumblr on my work computer on the first working day of 2023 specifically to make this post properly. I don't have a good computer and I simply could not do this on my phone.

Ok, Time to get emo :)

I discovered SKZ at the end of last year, I personally date my anniversary to somewhere between December 29th 2021 and January 2nd 2022. It's a good thing too because I get overemotional at the end of the year anyway and now I can just schedule all my gratitude and emo times at the same time.

I want to start from the beginning bc the only reason 2022 was a good year for me was this discovery. this is a bit of recap for me because I wanted to do it. If you're tagged in it it means that you played a part in my year and meant something to me. Feel free to only read your little paragraphs (or nothing at all, theres no obligation), this is bound to get unspeakably long.

first, I want to give a quick shout out to the people I started talking to/followed more recently @hyunpic (I haven's checked twitter today, did hyunjin kill you yet or did he get all of that out of the way in 2022?) @mybodyfails (did u ever listen to stromae?) @jisungsjaistandjeekies (how was the first day of your new job?) The best thing about getting another year on tumblr is the promise of getting to know you all more <3

@quokki you were literally the first person I ever followed for stray kids content. It was around february, when I looked for fanart for the first time and reactivated my twitter and I found your hannies. It took a little longer but I'm so glad we are friends now. I really love our chats/meltdowns abt hanji and you're incredibly talented and kind and also just correct abt a lot of stuff lmao

@alexenglish alex, I know we don't talk that much but you were the first person to really talk to me abt k-pop stuff and I will never forget that. I also cannot thank you enough for showing me rolling quartz and for reading the stupid thing that i wrote that one time. it seems trivial but i literally do not show anyone my writing ever and anytime I do and it's a good experience it makes me a little braver so thank you, seriously. and also thank you for sticking around even when I'm a dick

my first comeback in march was soso special because I had people to freak out with. I was in Ireland at the time and even hough I was brand new in online stayville I felt a lot less alone than I could've.

in april i started talking to @sailsflyseaward but I honestly can't believe it has only been 9 months. We've met 3! times since then and you're already one of my most precious online friends and I feel like I've known you way longer. I have to try very hard to stay cynical and not believe in fate and the universe being a good place when I think about how we could've just never met.

I was EXHAUSTED the first 4 months of this year, I hated most of it. I turned 30 in april, i had been to ireland and to the north sea on vacation in march and april but all of it felt hollow and exhausting and terrible. In germany we say that may makes everything anew and it certainly was true for me this year. I planned a trip to toronto, I got a raise, I got to see mamamoo, ive and a bunch of others live and i spoke a little to so so many sweet people.

@nevoono who makes literally the cutest fucking things ever and was my first german k-pop friend ever and also is just... really cool in such a unique way. idk I'm sorry I'm terrible at keeping up.

to @ambivartence who I don't talk to a ton but who also is literally the coolest artist alive and made me feel very happy to know that others also travel very far to see their groups. I stare at your paintings so much, i honestly should not admit it but there's just always so much to see.

and to @pvddins-art who is one of the sweetest and kindest and most generous people I've ever met, which is a high bar because I use those words for a lot of people, but for you they are more true than for anyone.

getting to go to a k-pop festival in germany as my first experience was so good too. I really had no idea what it means to ba a k-pop fan and the whole community and culture and incredible vibes around it when you're there in person. I had a very exhausting day and it was hot as hell and I had a migraine after but it was all worth it

interlude because I don't remember when I started talking to you:

@brianbangs tay my sweetheart, i love you so much. you're just one of the people who get it. like. idk, it's hard for me to put into words properly but you get it when I'm being a hater and you get it when I'm being emotional and you get it when I'm being horny and you accept all of it. I also think you're really fucking creative and talented and I love being here with you so much

then june came and it was one of my best months ever ever. I went to another festival and got to relive the music I loved as a teen. seeing the strokes 16 years after I was a fan made me cry a lot lol. I went to see my favorite people alive @starmotions, @fromadifferentphase (and the third one who is missing but u know who u are) in toronto. and I do mean this literally you're my favorites. I'm the most me when I'm with you, I think of everyone who knows me no one knows me so completely. there isn't anyone I share more parts of myself with. the 1 week I just got to hang out with you was so incredibly precious to me, it made me power through most of the rest of the year. moments of joy! I got to see toronto and got to spend time with people I love. one of my friends came all the way from salt lake city just to see me.

then I went to new york and now there's a long ass list coming because 1. it was the first time I met my beloved julia, 2. it was when i met my beloved kay 3. i got to travel with my beloved di and we got to explore new york and eat so many tacos and learn about queer art and history and also it was when I met both

@chanstopher and @lonelystreetlight and I'm puting you both in the same paragraph bc I started talking to both of you at the same time and also discovered that we're literally the same tumblr user, I cannot believe that I found the old 1D crowd again and the old glee crowd AND even the old starkid people. ok, I had to google the songs from the space tour just now but it's insane that I could text someone about both status quo by starkid AND zone by 3racha.

and lastly it was OF COURSE when i fucking saw fucking stray kids in fucking person (sorry) I was so numb from everything going on, and from the heat and from newark airport that I didn't even cry but looking back on it I honestly can't even begin to believe how lucky I was to be able to do all of that in just one month.

july was the month I went to see harry styles (meh) and hang out with an old friend because of it (yay) and I have literally nothing else in my calender for the entire month but I know I was a bit stressed. however I don't think it was a terrible time.

In august I went to the south of germany on vacation to celebrat my moms birthday, we went to the opera outdoors and I felt extremely fancy the entire time and also saw so many flowers. then we started the stayblr discord.

@snug-gyu @hanjesungs @ggthydrangea @littleclouds @shmalll @babychicklix and everyone else in there! I am so glad it's a space to hang out and message each other and talk about skz. I know I left very quickly (unfortunately group situations are terrible for my mental health and I felt very bad very quickly) but I still got to start chatting with so many cool people and I'm always so happy that we did that.

@bangchanies king of the dumpster that is new jersey, my absolute favorite eyeshadow model and another one of the bitches that just get it, u know? you just get what I'm trying to say and I am grateful to have you to text when I want to be annoying. (you're also secretly incredibly sweet and I think you're honestly just a very kind and empathetic person and i would be sadder without you but i will not tell anyone that you're secretly nice)

@cheekyquokka even though you're not IN the server, I feel like we started really talking around the same time so you're getting put in here as well. you're so generous and sweet to your friends, I remember the surprise and amazement from both bee and ale at the packages you sent them, you're such a great fucking mutual to have because you know yourself and you make really cool gifs, every time one of yours comes across my dash i know it. idek why. anyway, thank you <3

around september was when I finally started the group chat and seven made it complete, so here comes that bit. I needed to make sure you all know how much you mean to me.

@bourgeoix I swear in some off-kilter way we are soulmates. you make both my fandom brain and the little kid that didn't know popstars but could draw the shape of gorbachevs blood spot feel at home. you're soooo fucking smart and we have like debated moral philosophy and learning and reasoning styles at length so I won't go into it but it's one of those amazing fated coincidences that we both befriended seven and then each other. you think it's cool that I live near to Olaf Scholz's barbershop. you're my favorite of all the nerds. I could read the stuff you write for years and years and never get bored. I need to eat your brain (as jace or seven would say) and I love that we get to be both smart and very very very dumb together.

@hyumjim I honestly cannot top what mel said but you're like. my only grown up friend. You genuinely have a patience and kindness with people that is really hard to find. I know you don't show this to everyone but it makes me all the more grateful that I get to experience it. you're also insane. when seven first added you to the gc I had sth to say that felt really crazy to me and was nervous in front of you and seven said 'emily is also insane' and so i posted it in the gc and now we're friends. i don't remember what it was but you gave great advice and i sort of feel like we disagree and fight in all the ways that makes a relationship better and you make me insecure but in a fun way. you're a huge hater and yet you genuinely love people and humanity more than most people alive. thank you for listening to me.

@jellino jace idek how to describe you but you're like....... my little brother but not in a lame way. you're also older than me in some ways. idk, I just love how much you love stuff. I love how sure you are of what you're not, even while always wondering what you are. I think of you so much when I see sea creatures and ice age characters and dumb stuff. the other day I saw a squirrel irl and i thought 'I have to send this to jace' bc it reminded me of scrat from ice age. i cannot look at a penguin without thinking about you. I don't think I'll ever go to a zoo and not think of you. I also am always hoping that you are ok, that you find your way, that you know I'm happy and proud to know you...

@bewby my love. seven. I think it will never not be complicated how much I love you because I want you to be ok so bad. but it doesn't matter if you are or not for me to love you a whole lot. you're so funny and so smart and I say neither of these things lightly, like you have such a quick wit and you want everyone to be ok so bad and you love people so much and i hope that some day you will know that it is enough and you are enough. meeting you that one time was so fun, like we literally did not need more than a half hour to find sooo much stuff to talk about. I love having a german kpoppie friend, I love your tender heart, I love how understanding you are! I hope you know how much!

honestly it's all 4 of you that got me through fall and winter so far, it's venting and bitching and joking and writing insanely long messages to you that make me feel like a human instead of a gremlin. It's knowing that you like me and think I'm someone you want to listen to. You mean so much to me, I can never pay that back.

so much happened in my personal k-pop world in october PLUS most of my friends had their birthdays too so it was a bit stressful and it ended with my great uncle dying but i did get to see my old friends and family, so it was good in the end.

november was cold and dark as always but i got to feel so much warmth in scotland, just spending a few days going to museums and coffeeshops and nothing else and then seeing my love julia for the scond time, learning about history and eating pies. then I went to london to see @sunflowercocoa again after 5 fucking years and it was so much fun. I know you know how much I love you, I had such a good time, thank you for being my friend. Thank you for making me leave the house, thank you for being generous and fun and spending time with me. I know you're strong enough to get through the next year or so and I know you're gonna be so happy and so successful and you have a great life ahead. I know you're not here much anymore and that it kind of annoys you but you were a big part of this year and this is like my diary at this point tbh.

i also met @geniaparadox my homie and so much fun to hang out with. honestly our day together kind of made me wish i could've gotten to hang out with you in high school, i feel like we would have been friends. thank you for talking to me abt how underrated felix is and for looking at the bts stuff in hmv and despair because being a k-pop fan in europe is very sad and for buying japanese tea and just being cool. i am so happy that you get to not go back to that job

december was november but worse but I started it off sososo well, seeing julia the 3rd time and going to nuremberg and munich and being slightly tipsy at the christmas market everywhere and going swing dancing for the first time and trying so many fun food and drink things. It was a sad and anxiety-inducing month because so many people I know were ill or dying but in the end we mostly made it through and I am grateful. I got to spend the end of the year surrounded by babies and puppies and it felt good to not have to deal with grown-up things for a few days and just play.

#personal #life #middle of the day text posts #i love u all im so sorry for this

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