#I can't believe I just deleted this post

[kungukingi]

Meditations on bris/isbr [3/?] "Barou as Isagi's Catalyst of Change"

Link to previous part.

Team X versus Team Z is a match that gains a whole new depth of meaning when it's contextualised with Isagi’s backstory from the light novel, with one particularly important perspective coming through his internal narration about the Saitama Prefectural Tournament Finals (the match against Kira), and about what he thought it would mean to him.

To put Isagi’s backstory short; he was initially a timid kid, likely partially due to his implied hypersthesia (a condition that involves an abnormal increase in sensitivity to stimuli of the sense, such as sounds, textures, light, etc.) — until he got into football, developed a passion for it, and started to excel in it. From his light novel (Translated by @hoshi801_):

In elementary school, he scored a goal beating five opponents in a row. In junior high school, he became known as the unbeatable striker in his hometown in Saitama.

He discovered Noa, gained confidence in his dream to become the best striker in the world and to win the World Cup. That is, until he entered Ichinan High School, which is where it all changed. When Isagi first learns of the “One for all, all for one” motto of Ichinan, he questions it, but when his teammates see nothing wrong with it, he decides not to press the issue so as not to stand out negatively:

“Well, in soccer, it feels good because you can beat your opponents and score goals by yourself, right? That’s the joy of being a striker. It's not about joining forces, but about the power of each individual striker… I guess.” He glances to see how Tada reacts. “Huh? You can't play soccer by yourself.” He said “What are you talking about?” then laughed. “Soccer is a sport played by eleven people! My goal is a team play that represents the bond of those eleven people! One for all, all for one!” Suddenly, they wrap an arm around each other’s shoulders. “Let's all join forces and go to the Nationals!" “Yeah!” When Tada said this, their other teammates got excited. (Huh? Am I the only one who thinks that this is ridiculous?) Isagi couldn't say anything more.

He is far from happy with this status quo however, silently disagreeing with the ‘nobody should stand out’ way his coach is making them play football, and eventually asks to play as a striker.

“Uhm… I want to go for the next game, as a striker, I'd like to shoot more if possible.…” This was all Isagi could muster. “Hahaha! You want to show off?” The coach laughed out loud, and his teammates laughed out loud as well.

Isagi turns red from embarrassment, and the coach goes off about how that’s just not happening because it’s not the Ichinan High School way. Shamed, Isagi then tries to gaslight himself into thinking this is fine and he is the one who is wrong:

(This is fine. Indeed, this is how a team works. Soccer is a sport played by eleven people. I'm sure it's not right for me to disturb the harmony… by myself.)

(Literally Isagi when he’s told he can’t play as an egoist striker:)

From then on his ego is described as ‘sealed’ and he focuses on just keeping the harmony, hiding his more assertive tendencies because he doesn’t want to stand out to his detriment in this harmony-valuing environment. This continues up until the moment when they’re getting ready for the Prefectural Tournament Finals in his second year. It’s the moment where his “true feelings welled up in his heart” and “Isagi heard the voice of his ego for the first time in a long time”.

Their opponent in the Finals was Matsukaze Kokuo High School, which had one of the best strikers in the prefecture, Kira Ryosuke. (I will beat that Kira Ryosuke, go to the Nationals……get scouted, go to the J-League……Someday, I will represent Japan……! Someday, I'll be at the World Cup I dreamed of……) He looked at his clenched fist and realized. (World Cup? So I’m still…… hoping for something like that.) He had never told anyone about it, and even he had almost forgotten about it, but it had always been there in the bottom of his heart. He wants to represent Japan and win the World Cup. It was a dream that he had been thinking about ever since the day he saw Noel Noa for the first time when he was eight years old. Then a predictive thought came to his mind. (......if my dream were to come true, this match would surely be the turning point.)

That bolded part is very revealing, and heartbreaking considering how he ended up automatically adhering to the “Ichinan Way” when the chips were down. That match did not end up being the turning point for Isagi, as we know. He ends up passing to Tada in the moment where he could’ve chosen to be assertive in a 1v1 situation with a goalie, and Tada ends up botching the goal and losing them the game.

But another match would become that turning point in a different way, and one specific person would become the catalyst to give Isagi’s ego the spark it needed to start on the path of turning into the all-consuming flame it eventually becomes. Someone Isagi immediately notices from the very first moment he enters the pitch.

The Team X versus Team Z match begins in chaos, as Ego has created a very specific situation that discourages any kind of meek “one for all and all for one” philosophy. The dumpling football that ensues is downright Darwinian in nature; individualistic and cruel. Though it’s not football exactly, it’s still closer to Isagi’s ideal football ethos than Ichinan High School’s way, which becomes clear when you look at the paragraph of Isagi’s thoughts upon him discovering the football club’s motto for the first time:

One for all, all for one. It means each one should act for the sake of others, and the others should act for the sake of each one. Sounds good, but isn't the game far more from that ideal? The soccer that made his heart fired up was even more cruel. The striker who single-handedly broke through that cruel world was beautiful.

Barou is the one who immediately takes control of the match, ends up “turning 0 into 1”, and dominates the pitch by getting his team to support him while team Z continues to struggle without a clear centre. And he does it in a way that leaves Isagi awestruck.

Isagi knows they can’t win anymore, but he still tries to do that same thing Barou did for Team X for their own Team Z; turn 0 into 1 and become the axis of their team.

Barou ends up taking notice of this change, and comes to stop him himself, in doing so creating an imperfect echo of the situation in the Prefectural Tournament Finals. But now Isagi doesn’t only have that traumatic memory pressing at him, there is also the imaginary World Cup Finals scenario that Ego painted for them at the start of Blue Lock, during which Isagi had imagined himself acting like a “true striker” would.

Point being, from Isagi’s perspective this is a moment that ought to be pivotal, a kind of a litmus test of whether he’s cut out to be a striker or not. But he’s not stupid, so he knows he can’t match Barou in a 1v1. So he freezes, wonders about what would a striker do, unconsciously activates a nascent version of metavision for one brief moment… and passes to Kunigami, mirroring his actions in the Prefectural Tournament Finals when he passed to Tada. In his mind, he does the exact thing he’d already thought he wouldn’t do again, because he is a striker, and he’s regretted not taking the shot ever since.

He is shocked, Barou is shocked. Raichi is furious and starts berating Isagi, who can’t clearly answer the question about why he did it, and then Barou says this:

Barou, who left such an impression in Isagi in this game, who has in such a short timespan embodied many key “striker” traits that Isagi has admired in Noa and ‘strikers’ in general for half of his life by this point, being someone who can:

…single-handedly break through “that” cruel world

…beat his opponents and score goals by himself

…turn 0 into 1

…be at the centre of it all

— This Barou tells Isagi that he isn’t cut out to be a striker, causing him to collapse on the pitch, wonder what the hell is he doing, and think that Barou — someone who does seem to have what it takes — might be right. But this being Isagi, he of course doesn’t give up. Instead he takes this despair Barou has fed him, uses the opportunity to truly look at himself, learn, and evolve instead.

Link to next post.

[foolbehavior]

I love the little hat emoji people use to represent luffy, the android version has a pretty purple bow 👒

[nachosncheezies]

In defense of late-canon x files (including the revivals)

I was thinking about this poll after I commented on it, and I kinda want to be brave and say more.

Short answer to the poll's question before I go any further: If you're a new fan and a sensitive sort who thinks you'll struggle with your blorbos Really Going Through It and you really need a happy ending, I suggest you stop at the end of season 8. Do not pass go, do not look at spoilers. Disregard this post entirely, close the internet, and go look at something that makes you happy. (Also fuck every part of society that characterizes sensitivity as inherently weak and bad and some kind of personal failing, you are valid.)

That said, "quality" as a concept is entirely subjective, and the question of whether or not there's a decline in quality for any story is wholly subjective, too. In the case of x files? I'm not convinced there is a decline. I am going to be upfront that I haven't yet watched past season 8, though I am almost completely spoiled on events after that - and the reason I haven't watched yet is not because of how I know events are going to unfold, but simply because I don't want it to end!!! Ohh, the tension between "I CAN'T WAIT!!!" and "Nooo don't be over D:"

When I first came to txf fandom on tumblr and gradually became spoiled about what happens in late canon though, I was often left uncomfortable and tbh kinda queasy about it. As I said in my comment on the poll, the hate for especially the revival and IWTB, or to a lesser extent even seasons 8 & 9, is very well documented. But! There are other takes to be found here on tumblr if you figure out where to look, and my feelings have changed!

The thing is, I have yet to find myself in any fandom where there isn't a vocal subset of fans who dislike the story after a certain point. I am not joking when I say that no one hates the things they love as passionately as sci-fi and fantasy fans. In my experience, it often hinges on the extent to which a viewer has strong notions on where they would like the characters to end up. In particular with series where shipping is a dominant component for the bulk of a fandom, I have almost universally found that there comes some turning point in the story where "let them be happy you cowards" is the dominant view, and things that compromise the attainment of a degree of romantic stability and/or domesticity are, to many fans, annoying at best and despicable at worst. But! As one tagset on the linked poll said:

and I think for any fandom, that last tag especially is so so so important. (I think that's harder for people watching a weekly series live, bc you have so much time to analyze and speculate and dream before the next breadcrumb drops, but I digress.)

So why am I saying this and how do I apply it to x files? Well, I eventually found that there are also a subset of fans who find redeeming things right up to the very end and actually quite like the whole thing! The things that I had seen people rage and ventpost so much about honestly never quite sounded to me as "out of character" or "untrue to the story" etc as those same ventposts made them sound. And I've discovered I'm not the only one who felt that way. Do I love that the spooky squad had to go through all of those things? No, those poor guys D: Life is hard and they have been through so much trauma. But do those events and their choices make sense to me in light of everything that came before? Yes! And I honestly can't wait to see them fight to overcome those things, breaking, healing, always learning, always growing, always getting better.

So if you're wondering "where does it go wrong"... well, I'm a completionist, as many people who've answered that post are, but also my personal opinion is that I don't think it does go wrong. If you're new and interested in exploring why I've gone from "vaguely queasy" to "excited" about the whole thing, or want to maybe balance out the impressions you're getting about the later seasons before deciding whether or not you want to see the whole thing, I'll put a few blog names in the comments.

Final admission: even once I started feeling a little more confident in the possibility that "actually ok maybe I'm not crazy, maybe this all kind of is in character and does make sense", there was one big plot point that I was NOT looking forward to and I thought I would never be comfortable about. In hindsight, I think my discomfort came from the negative responses being SO seemingly universal that I hadn't stopped to let myself truly consider other possible interpretations on that point. (I mean my initial instinct when I first read about it was, why are we mad about this?? CSM is literally the most unreliable narrator in history???? it's obviously fake news?????? this must be either a fever dream someone's having or it's a misdirection ploy against whatever shadowy forces might still be lurking?????????????? but for whatever reason I guess I had halfway written that off.) Happily, just last month there's a new post-s11 novel out, and although reviews for the book as a whole are mixed, it seems to have laid the groundwork for resolving that plot issue in a way I think most fans would be broadly happy with. If you're interested in being spoiled about that and seeing how, I recommend searching #perihelion on @agent-troi who liveblogged reading it with receipts, scroll back chronological-style to the first post on the subject and see how it unfolded. (And never forget that Dana Katherine Scully is the queen of denial as a coping mechanism lol)

Everyone's mileage will vary. Each person can feel however they want! But for anyone new, I wanted you to know that the very many ventposts you might be seeing are not all there is to this show or its fandom. Some of us love it despite - or even because of - all the things that went "wrong". I think we just don't talk about it as much.

[sappho-favourite-pupil]

Every time i post a picture thinking it will help my self-esteem and stuff, it's actually a bad idea because gross individuals can't respect boundaries and it makes me feel horrible so yeah i'm never doing it again.

[ante--meridiem]

poll results to make you (by which I mean me) despair about the people around you.

Man I'd really hoped the plurality of preferences of people on tumblr would be a little less vindictive than your average fundamentalist Christian!

[daz4i]

skk is so t4t to me at this point i can't process them as anything else fr

[brenninthetaylorverse]

being very vulnerable here, really laying it all out on the table -

when I first started on tumblr, I would send myself asks to make it seem like I had followers and people who interacted with my content.

[burning-academia-if]

Em, thank you so much for sharing your story and creating this blog! Your tumblr account has become a sort of a comfort place for me. I absolutely adore the way you interact with your readers and love the fact that your anons have been respectful (even though I realize that most likely there were some rude and insensitive messages because it is something that goes hand in hand with publishing any sort of art publicly. And if that is the case for you too, my heart goes out to you <3 )

Every time I see a new post here I smile. I love going through your asks (I prefer to make random amount of swipes and just read wherever the scrolling stops, I call it ‘tumblr roulette’ lol, it never fails to surprise me with pieces of information I know I’ve read before but forgot about because my memory isn’t that good).

Your posts from October/November of the last year hold a special place in my heart. Back then I was going through a very harsh time with my job practically sucking out the last droplets of my blood and sanity. I vividly remember standing outside of the building on my lunch break and smoking cig after cig like a chimney (-100000000 out of 10 experience would never recommend) and I swear the moment I was about to burst into tears I got a Tumblr notification of a new post on your blog. It was about Halloween outfits your characters would choose. Despite my state I got slightly amused with some of the choices. I managed to go through the rest of my day without crumbling down completely with the help of the thoughts of your game in the back of my mind. I know it may sound ridiculous but your story and that ask in particular really helped me shift the focus from my struggles and somewhat unwind in a healthy escapism way. 

I’ve been meaning to reach out to you a long ago to thank you but I knew that telling you all of this might not be welcome as we all are strangers here (and not all authors and readers may find it appropriate when some random person on Tumblr dot com overshares and I’m sorry if I made someone uncomfortable). But I just wanted you to know that what you do not only provides some of your fans with a magnificent gaming experience but also a much needed respite from unwanted experiences of reality.

I hope life treats you well, wish you all the luck with your artistic endeavors and always remember that your mental and physical health should always be prioritized! 

This was such a nice message to open tumblr to 😭💚

Honestly, BA was something I started making for my own comfort, especially since I didn't expect to get any traction, but seeing it become a thing of comfort for others has been a really nice experience!

Idk if it's because of the themes of the story or something, but I've genuinely yet to get a rude message yet lol and I'm really appreciative of how nice and relaxed the atmosphere of this blog has been. And I'm glad it's become a place for some people to unwind to.

[casiavium]

Hi ghiralink fans I know people on this site don't like twitter but you are missing out and I think everyone should know about pisu_1107 and fu_akane's art so here are their pixiv and twitter accounts ❤️ I won't repost any of their work (though I see pisu's get reposted a lot unfortunately, and they specifically ask for it not to be 😔) but they are AMAZING and you should know about them

pisu_1107 pixiv twitter

fu_akane pixiv twitter

[oc3anic-ang3l]

just purged through more than a ton of my posts. felt amazing.

[triglycercule]

i am severely upset at the sexyman polls for this year. yeah its absolutely because im biased and not a single one of the mtt won. but killer vs error is still going on you say!!! NO,,,,, killer's lost,,,,, its 70 error 30 killerISH so yeah,,,,, none of the mtt MADE!!!! IT!!!! and with the boom in killer content these past few months i wasSO FUCKING SURE that he'd like AT LEAST get higher up. nope. because of ERROR. listen i like him. he was my og bias when i first joined this fandom. i was an error fanatic. but bro,,,,, bro,,,,,,,,, killer,,,,, lost,,,,,, AND FUCKING HORROR AND DUST LOST TOO!!!! LIKE WHAY. WHAT. PUTTING HORROT AGAINST ERROR AND DUST AGAINST CROSS!!!! THEYRE LITERALLY BOTH THE TWO GUYS THAT (1/2 of them) WON LAAT YEAR!!!! OF COURSE THEYRE GONNA BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF THE MTT!!!!! this is very upseting im really sad imMAD. but no point in being a sore loser.... mtt won in my HEART 🧡

dust laughing at both horror and killer for getting the shit beaten out of them by error and then they bring up the fact that he lost to CROSS. this is the second time someone in the mtt lost to cross (theyre all making out in the loser's room) (mtt poly real btw)

[kenren]

The Great Hunt ❄ Aokiji (Kuzan) x Female Reader ❄ Chapter 3 of 7

I cannot tell you now;     When the wind's drive and whirl     Blow me along no longer,     And the wind's a whisper at last— Maybe I'll tell you then—                         some other time.                                 The Great Hunt, Carl Sandburg                        

A story of departures and returns. And sex. Of course there's sex.

Previous

.・゜゜・Author notes: Bad p*rn is what the 21st century is built on. Way overdid it with the araras because it's Kuzan and I have to take advantage.࿔࿔࿔꣸(⁍̴̆◡⁍̴̆ )⊃✫⌒*･ﾟ Obligatory tag for @thehanging-gardens.

.・゜゜・This chapter is NSFT; Minors, please DNI.

.・゜゜・Chapter word count: 2019.

.・゜゜・AO3 (See first chapter for tags.)                                                

                        .・゜゜・

Kuzan broke the frozen exterior of the coat and threw it in a bin outside your apartment building without much ceremony, gathering you up in his arms and laughing as you shivered. You swatted at him violently when you realized he was about to freeze and shatter the lock on your door, and he set you down to unlock it before scooping you back up and barging in to toss you on the bed.

“I can and will warm you up, by the way.”

You sat up straight in bed. “You could control it the whole time?!” Kuzan huffed a laugh and pressed a kiss to your mouth. This time, his lips were warm and soft, but somehow no less thrilling. You giggled and bit his bottom lip playfully. “But your lips were freezing when you kissed me the first time!”

“That was on purpose, too. I wanted to see if it’d make you smile, and it did. Although I thought you would have noticed by now that I’m not freezing 100% of the time.” He crawled on top of you, his huge frame stretching your hip joints almost painfully as he nestled between your legs and collapsed on top of your chest. “Hm. The couch in your office might be more comfortable.”

“Fuck you too.”

“Not yet. Let me…” He feigned dozing off, shooting you a look of mock indignation as you ripped off his hat. “Arara, here I was trying to be generous. You’re definitely going to ‘remain faithful’ to me if I ruin you for any other man.”

“Big words for a man who hasn’t laid pipe since he met me.”

“I never denied that you’ve ruined me for any other woman as well. Even if it’s only because your personality gave me erectile dysfunction.”

“The icicle pressed into my leg begs to differ.”

“Popsicle.”

“What?”

“It’s a popsicle, not an icicle.” You squinted at Kuzan, and he smirked. “You know, because you’re supposed to suck it.”

“...That popsicle could probably break my jaw.”

“Arara, was that a compliment?” He rolled his hips lazily into your thigh, and you managed not to shudder. “Would it not be an honor to have your jaw broken by an admiral?”

“I’m not even allowed to call you that!”

“That’s right. So I should keep your mouth busy to remove the temptation.” He leaned up and kissed you languidly, earning a happy sigh.

“I-I guess I could try,” you stuttered out.

“Don’t be scared. You can go first, if you’d like.”

“No…I want to try. I just…don’t want to disappoint you.”

Kuzan snorted and brushed your hair out of your face. “What is this? A rare show of honesty?”

“I’m never dishonest. At least not with you.”

“True. But you’re not usually so sincere.” He blinked and tugged playfully at your locks. “Must be the wine.”

“Get off me, idiot. I can’t suck you off like this.”

“Yes ma’am.”

You rolled to the edge of the bed and tried to figure out the best way to do this. Jumping down from the bed, you were met with the riveting sight of Kuzan undoing his belt and looking down at you lustfully. “So easy to forget how tiny you are when you have such a big mouth.”

You laughed. “Let’s just hope it’s big enough.”

“Oh, it is. I promise.” You blushed, suddenly self-conscious. Kuzan was right when he said he had a reputation as a ladies’ man; that he hadn’t been sleeping around since you met didn’t mean much. He reached down and cupped your cheek, as though reading your mind. The lust in his eyes briefly morphed into something that had your heart skipping a beat. “Whatever you give me will be enough.”

You forced a grin. “What if I walk out right now?”

“Then we can blame that on the wine, too.”

“Are you going to lie down?”

“Mm. I quite like the view from up here, unless you plan to make my legs give out.”

You barked a laugh. “A girl can hope.” You glanced down, and then to the bed, and then to Kuzan once again. “Actually…I could probably just remain standing too, then, right?”

“Like I said…you’re tiny.”

Sucking in a deep breath, you brought one hand to his thigh, which sat not far below eye-level for you. His legs were less heavily muscled than the rest of his body, almost lanky, but you could still trace the firm flesh through his pants with one hesitant fingertip. “...Okay.” Kuzan stared at you for a moment, then shrugged and slid down to sit on the floor, leaning his back against the side of the bed. He pulled you into his lap, his listless expression giving no hint as to what was going through his mind. “What are you doing?! Stand back up before I lose my nerve!”

“No way. I’ve been trying to get you to lose that damn nerve for what, two years now? It’s not gonna happen now.” He cocked his head, his lips twitching into a faint smirk. “So pushy. What if I changed my mind?” He kissed your neck, activating his power in his palms and putting them up the back of your shirt. You cried out and tried to escape his icy touch, but he held fast and let his hands slowly return to thermodynamic equilibrium. “You love me, right? You’d respect my decision?”

You glared up at him. “What are you saying, you big oaf. You don’t want your dick sucked?”

“Wouldn’t want you to disappoint me, after all.” You flinched, and he chuckled sincerely. “You’re ridiculous. Maybe I should lay you back on that bed and take my turn first…at least we know my mouth is ‘big enough’ to get the job done.” Slowly, he reached up to start unbuttoning your shirt. He pressed a gentle kiss to your shoulder, and you leaned into his touch despite yourself.

“You’re making fun of me,” you murmured.

“Me? Never.”

“Kuzan.”

“Mm?”

“Stand back up.” He pressed a final kiss to your collarbone, then stood up and slipped pants partway down his hips to reveal his plain standard-issue boxers. You giggled, and he scoffed.

“Arara, laughing in the face of practicality.”

“Is that what you named Kuzan Jr.?”

“He’s never been accused of being practical before,” Kuzan teased. With shaking hands, you reached up to grasp his length through the boxers. He was already mostly hard; after a few more tentative strokes, his boxers could no longer hide the fact that he was big. You swallowed, and in your anxiety you started to pump his length more fervently. He groaned in response. “Maybe I should have laid down.”

“Weak in the knees already?”

“Yes.” His bluntness brought a grin to your face; with renewed confidence, you tugged playfully at his waistband. “What am I, a piece of meat?”

“You know, pheasant is considered a delicacy. I think. In some dishes, at least.”

He snorted. “Compelling. If you’re expecting delicacy, you may have come to the wrong place.” Your grin widened, and you cupped his balls in one hand in warning. “Arara, don’t be like that. I surrender.”

“So much for the backbone of the Navy’s military might.” He inhaled sharply as you pulled the waistband of his boxers down enough to expose the swollen head of his cock. You smirked and leaned forward to press a kiss to his frenulum, pulling away slowly enough that the wetness of your lips trailed along his skin and caught lightly on his glans. He eyed you with poorly-suppressed anticipation. You leaned back in with a small smirk, this time letting your tongue trace the outline of the head.

“A-arara…”

You snorted and pulled back just enough to grin up at him. “You know, hearing that in this context is quite endea—” He cut you off by tangling one huge hand in your hair, and you could almost feel the desperation coursing through the veins in his thick fingers.

“Please.”

…Oh. Eyes glimmering with pride, you pulled his boxers down further. He was hard enough that his length remained nearly pressed against his stomach—an impressive feat, given that he looked as big as he had felt. You smirked a little as you admired his cock. It was two-toned, which was oddly adorable, with a couple of veins. Somehow it struck you as incredibly clean, in a way that had your mouth watering.

You gathered a pool of spit at the front of your mouth and slowly let it drool out onto his impressive length, wrapping your hands around his cock and stroking before any could dribble off the sides. He rewarded you with a quiet groan that rumbled through his body, and he shifted on his heels, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. You fought back a smirk and laid your tongue flat against his frenulum once more, taking a deep breath through your nose before stretching your lips to take him into your mouth. You could only fit a couple inches into your mouth, your jaw aching in protest at the sheer girth of him, but you relaxed into the act, sucking gently and eagerly working him with your tongue.

Kuzan maintained a vice grip on your hair, not pulling or pushing but simply holding—his way of maintaining intimate contact with you since, given your prominent size difference, your only other option would be to keep one hand uncomfortably suspended for him to reach down and hold.

You hummed around his dick, hoping to coax him into finally looking at you…and he did. “...God,” he gritted out, pupils blown wide.

You continued working him with your hands as you pulled back to speak. “I think you should lie down, or at least sit on the edge of the bed.” Kuzan wordlessly picked you up and tossed you back onto the bed, collapsing on his back and closing his eyes with a small grin. “Hey!”

“Whatever gets your mouth back on me faster.”

You pouted. “Who’s the piece of meat now?” Adjusting your position, you let a new batch of drool slip from your lips onto his shaft, his hips twitching at the contact. You grinned and licked up the length of him greedily, taking him back into your hands when he was sufficiently lubricated.

When you finally took him back into your mouth, a sudden flood of arousal hit you. Bit by bit, you worked him deeper into your throat, until his eyes flew open and—

“Arara, you don’t have to—ah.” Not a moan so much as a breath, but the weight of it had you dripping down your thighs. Tears pricked your eyes, and you weren’t even close to taking all of him yet. You relented and redoubled your efforts on the head, earning another delicious sharp inhale.

The feeling of his rough palm sliding across the back of your thigh until just the tips of his fingers aligned themselves with your slit made you shiver. He smirked as he felt the dampness of the fabric, the way it slipped against you with almost no friction.

“You’re enjoying this, are you? Even trying to take more than what your pretty little head can handle?”

“...Wanna earn more of a reaction from you.”

“Oh? Does my subordinate need some feedback?...You should be fired.” You shot him a look and cupped his balls as a warning once again. He offered a breathy chuckle. “From your real job, that is. Once I leave, you should be the Navy’s resident slut. They gotta keep that bratty mouth of yours occupied somehow, else you’ll get yourself into trouble with Sakazuki.”

“Don’t mention him during sex; even his name makes me dry.”

“Arara, really? Can’t have that, can we?” He flipped you onto your back as though you weighed nothing at all, breath suddenly cold against your lower belly. “Do you trust me? Wrap the sheets around your legs.”

“I don’t like where this is going.” So you said, but you followed his command without further protest.

“Shut up. Lie back, and keep your knees up and spread your thighs.”

[arcaneyouth]

ohhh i get it now! the things that are happening to me are doing irreparable damage on my psyche!

[fortes-fortuna-iogurtum]

idk man but it seems that when you start becoming aware of your own IssuesTM you also begin getting a little uncomfortable with how many of those same IssuesTM are present in popular interpretations of fan-favorite fictional characters

[ghostprinceiii]

ah, discouraged once again from continuing Persona 5 because of how People Like Me are portrayed and treated :/

Ended up down kindof a chain of articles (like this) (and this one) that confirm how I've already been feeling —ie that the NPCs are not only actively hostile to 'me' as a character, but me as a player, as well, in many ways.

What I've seen and read of the characters and world-concept from a distanced perspective (through the lens of an audience, and not Experiencing The Story As Joker) has been cool and interesting and the music fucks, obviously, but idk, I'm just tired of this shit, today. Maybe this just Isn't The Game For Me and this is just another factor of that to add to the list, maybe it's just not the right time to be playing it and I'll do another 8 hours in another 5 months, or get super into it next week, I dunno.

Anyways. The articles give some good context for part of what I'm referring to here, and I thought they were quite well-written, so I'm linking them above if anyone's interested.^^

[yellowloid]

trying to write after like. i don't even know how long? and it feels like getting tore to pieces by a torture machine in some circle of hell but yes :) writing is my favourite hobby :) i love writing so much :)