#I can't share more right at the moment because I'm not alone in the living room

[babeyun]

falling alone ✩ l.hs [teaser two]

✩ series m.list | taglist form ✩ synopsis: cold cases were heeseung’s specialty, and he cracked every single one. cold hearts were your specialty, and you have yet to make a single chip in your husband’s. ✩ genre: established relationship au | hurt-comfort ✩ pairing: lieutenant!lhs x housewife!reader ✩ word count: 1.4k | [full fic: tbd] ✩ rating: 18+. minors dni. ✩ warnings: a little more pining between husband!hee & wife!reader, a bit of outsider help. nothing explicit ✩ author's note: hello everyone! i just wanted to let you all know that i am trying my best to get this fic out before the end of the year (and if i don't, i do go on winter break from uni in early december! so we can expect a few fics in that time.) this being said, i will add a taglist link here as well as the series masterlist because i cannot for the life of me keep up with urls at the moment. the people tagged below have already been added to said taglist, but if you wanna jump on and don't see yourself tagged, please fill out the form linked above! thanks!

Heeseung knows that Dr. Bahng told him to leave work at work. However, Dr. Bahng said nothing about bringing home to work. He said nothing about thinking about you at work, or missing you, or daydreaming about you instead of analyzing the reports that a pair of rookies messed up. He also said nothing about reading articles by some sketchy romance columnist on how to keep your relationship alive, which is exactly what Heeseung was scrolling through right now. 

There are things in a relationship that must always be shared in order to avoid, or resolve conflict. How the other person is making you feel, how you are making them feel, and how to tackle both negative checklists properly. It is key to always remember that it must be you and your partner against the problem, not you and your partner against each other.

You make Heeseung feel…alive. You make him feel loved, cherished, and even at some bizarre times, worshiped. You make him appreciate waking up at the ass crack of dawn, your sleeping face relaxed as he peppers kisses across your warm skin – something he's thankful never manages to wake you up, but it adds to all the adoration he holds in his heart for you.

How does he make you feel? Dejected, neglected, rejected. Pushed aside for the true love of his life – work. You never bring it up unless he asks. You never brought it up until last July, when he was slumped in his office chair after drinking half a bottle of sherry whiskey, listening to music and thinking about yet another dead end that deterred him from finding Soyoung. You had approached him with a gentle gaze, a soft touch to his shoulder and asking about taking a shower together. You never questioned him, you never pressured him, you never tried to make him something you assumed he just wasn't – an attentive, doting husband.

And he remembers how he asked you, too. He remembers spinning around in his chair, asking you if he was everything you'd ever wanted. Asking you if he was living up to your expectations, as a husband, as a life partner, as a friend, even.

And he remembers the way you sighed carefully before perching on his desk. "You're everything I've ever wanted, and I'm sure you'll continue to grow and be even more deserving of the love I hold for you." You had smiled, your hand coming to rest on his cheek. "Nothing we can't work through, you know? If I was given a choice in another life, another world – I'd still choose you."

He will never forget it, and he can still feel the warmth of your lips against his as you led him to the bathroom. He can still feel the ache of your love on his skin from the way you held him under the running water, quietly basking in his presence as the mint of your shampoo filled his nose. Nothing is as special to him as you are. 

There are things that should routinely be shared in order to maintain a homeostasis of the calendar. Asking how their day was, if you have any ideas for dinner tonight, or if you'd like to do something this weekend to celebrate the mundane. It shouldn't be difficult to establish a routine with your partner, if you are in tune with them. A kiss goodbye in the morning, a warm embrace in the evenings. A shared meal, a shared bath, a shared bed. 

Heeseung can't remember the last time he fully checked in with you – you always have something to do. You always attempt new creative projects, and his fingers toy with the fabric of his slacks as he remembers that you hand stitched them. He thinks about how you waited for him all night yesterday, and the disappointment you must have felt when he arrived late. He thinks about how he just doesn't make time to tackle the problem that you two are constantly glossing over by being intimate – he knows you don't feel loved. 

He didn't ask you about your day yesterday, or the day before, or last week. He didn't ask you if you were sewing anything new, learning any new pieces on the piano collecting dust in the living room. He hasn't asked about your mother, but at least he knows you don't like to talk about her. 

Heeseung hasn't asked you a single thing about yourself, or your life, and he doesn't know how long it's been. Even last night, your eyes were focused entirely on him – the way his lips twitched when you said you liked the wine he chose, the way he pulled your leg over his in the booth you were sharing. You asked him about work, and he just shook his head as he pointed out the new menu items. 

You love him so selflessly.

Something that works for my partner and I is parallel play. We aren't necessarily doing something together, but we are present in the same room and doing our own thing. Knowing that he is there, and that if I need him, I can reach for him, adds a comfort to our relationship. Aside from this, we also come together every two weeks and address any issues we may be experiencing – both in our relationship and our individual lives. We resolve the issues about us together, and advise the other on our personal issues. Balance!

You do this a lot. If Heeseung is home, you'll wander to wherever he is and sit down where you can, and quietly go about your business. Sometimes it's a new cross-stitch, sometimes it's just putting a headphone in and listening to music. Sometimes you're giving yourself a pedicure, sometimes you're just sitting there staring at his corkboard of paraphernalia while matching your breathing to his. It was subtle, something you thought he'd never notice.

He sighs, exiting out of the tab before grabbing his coat off the back of his chair. Tugging it on, he uses one hand to log out of his computer when he hears three knocks on the door. A lightness of the rapping knuckles similar to yours…and your smiling face appears as you crack open the door. "Surprise?" He hates that he can't bite back his smile, a few of his fellow officers wide-eyed at his expression. He nods silently, and you extend your hand for him when you hear his coworkers whispering about you. With a dejected look, you tuck your hand back into the pocket of your jeans, "Guess we don't want them gossiping, right?" "Right." He mumbles, his own hand twitching around the doorknob as he pulls it shut behind him. He wants to reach for you, embrace the warmth you bring, show you off to the people he often calls his friends. Sunghoon catches his eye, a quizzical look on his face before shaking his head. 

Heeseung reaches for you, but you've already made your way towards the door. Your smile has lessened as you open the door, holding it for him. "How was work?" You ask as he joins you in the cool air, and he wastes no time wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you in close, his nose buried in your hair. You hesitate to wrap your arms around him, instead leaning back to try and meet his eyes. "Hee?" "Don't ask me about work." He mutters, before pressing his lips to yours softly. You let out a noise of surprise, but you can't melt into his touch before he pulls away. "I hate talking about work, let's talk about you. Over lunch." He takes your hand in his, gently pulling you to his side as he makes his way to the car. He doesn't see yours in the parking lot, so he only assumes you got a rideshare before you clear your throat. "Are you okay?" The words are slightly jumbled as he leads you to the passenger side, opening the door for you, helping you step in. "Hm? Why do you ask?"

"Well…you're actually out of the office. And you want to go to lunch…and you don't want to talk about work?" Your voice is meek, and it makes his chest ache as he reaches to buckle your seatbelt in for you. "I just want to spend time with you. Shall we?" His smile is a little forced, until he sees the soft gloss of embarrassment over your eyes. "Okay."

BABEYUN © 2024. no translations, reposting or modifications are allowed. do not claim as your own. viewer discretion is advised. your media consumption is your responsibility.

TAGLIST [those in red could not be tagged] @thesassy-mia @starfallia @ramenoil @hoonieversies @wintabite @shnnzsworld @eneiyri @jjongsha @ilovejungwonandhaechan @oopshee @capri-cuntz @petalsofink @teddybeartaetae @chocminteu @moon0fthenight @delvziion @heeseungthel0ml @bbyjw @marimariiiiiiii @thenastone

[vispera-sabbath]

FINALLY GOT TO "DELIVER US FROM EVIL." Of Miami vice S4 Ep: 21

[marycorcaroli]

one piece boys as boyfriends.

luffy, zoro, usopp, sanji, buggy.

req ♡: Can I request the one piece boys as boyfriends/ dating them headcanons?

mary ♡: thanks for the request and hope you like it ! english is not my first language, i apologize for any mistakes.

rules ; masterlist.

luffy.

— luffy is the sweetest guy ever ! i'm sure he will live up to all your expectations and be the best of the best.

— he's a little awkward around you :( but he's also very loud ! ! he wants the whole world to hear that you're his girlfriend ! !

— he is not the jealous type at all. luffy trusts you with his whole heart and soul, he knows that you will never cheat or betray him and neither will he ever hurt you. you have guy friends and luffy trusts them! he hangs out with them and is not afraid that they will take you away from him. he is fine as long as your friends don't harass you or make cruel jokes about you.

— luffy loves hugs more than anything else! the way you give him your warmth and share that intimate moment with him is all luffy needs. he loves to hug at all hours of the day and night, his arms will always be around you!

— he loves kissing you just as much! he kisses you on the tip of your nose when he goes out and on your forehead so you know he's there for you and won't leave you. he kisses behind your ear when you dance together. he kisses your moles or freckles because they're your specialty and he loves them ♡ !

— ! he's a terrible cook ! he'd rather burn down your kitchen and all the equipment and then make puppy dog eyes: "i'm sorry, please, i wanted to please you, but it didn't work out..." don't yell at him 👊

— sleeps like a baby and holds you close to him so you don't run away.

— goes to the bathroom with you because he thinks a monster will take you (he can't watch horror movies).

— gives you presents at the most unexpected times !

— his love languages are touch and words ! he can't take his hands off you and stop saying words of everlasting love.

— luffy is crazy about your smile :( the way your eyes shine and the dimples on your cheeks don't go away makes his heart flutter like it's your first date.

— doesn't like to fight with you ;( even if you have an argument he will try to settle it right away so you go to bed calm, but if it doesn't work out and you go somewhere else.... his heart breaks into little pieces, the fact that it's so bad that you left 😐 will apologize to you a few million times and will do anything to make you forgive him!

zoro.

— the most needy boy :( he needs you to hug him and hold him several times in a second while he inhales the smell of your hair and draws constellations on your back with his hands.

— that's why his love language is always touching.

— he arranges the most incredible dates for you! he chooses the places himself and afterwards invites you on this little journey where he will propose marriage to you.

— for some people marriage is just a stamp in the passport and rings, but for zoro it's a whole life, so he bound your hearts and souls into one, made tearful vows to you, promising to always be there for you in sorrow and in joy.

— hugs are part of his routine. he hugs you every chance he gets. his favorite is the back hug when you're cooking something and zoro dances a little and sings your favorite song.

— kisses you on the lips in the most tender way to convey his feelings. on the eyelids to give you support and on the cheeks to show you how cute you are.

— he snores like a baby but will wake up as soon as you try to get up, he's used to sleeping with you and snuggling up to you that he won't sleep without you.

— he's a little spoon ! !

— loves to go shopping with you and buy something interesting for your home.

— during arguments, when he can't hear you and makes you talk even louder, and the situation in your house gets heated - he just walks away, leaving you alone. later, of course, he will beg for forgiveness and kiss you, and promise that it won't happen again, it's true. he doesn't want your beautiful and clean place to turn into a dumping ground for quarrels and humiliation.

— jealous often, but he doesn't make scandals, but just stands by you like a guard until your admirer runs away.

usopp.

— he's so cute ! you want to kiss his cheeks forever and look into those eyes that show endless love for you.

— he climbs into your room through the window, like in the most romantic movies, without fail ! with flowers in his teeth, "did you miss me?"

— his love language is giving you presents and jumping in puddles while it's raining ! ! !

— he loves to lay on you and squeeze you so hard ! he just wants to show you how much he loves you. for usopp, hugging is something normal, he is tactile himself, but with you, it's magnified several times ! ! he is not afraid to be real with you and he shows everything he has.

— we're not done talking about hugs yet ! another one of usopp's favorite hugs is after a hard day of hardly seeing each other and now you're trying to support each other, for him these moments are the saddest, he'll even cry a little because he couldn't give you a minute all day long ;( my boy.

— kisses too hot! his lips are on yours in seconds and his palms on your neck are clenched while your brain is trying to understand what's going on.

— but he also loves sweet kisses, where you kiss him on the cheek and tell him how cute he is.

— sleeping on you ! you can't get up, so you have to literally throw him off you, "wtf? usopp? i can't breathe, get off 😐."

— he likes to watch comedies and ask every minute about what's gonna happen next.

— there is no room for arguments in your relationship, he will quickly put things into a happy environment and give you his beautiful smiles, but if you do have a problem he will listen to you and do everything in his power to make sure you're okay and not worry about anything.

— he's not jealous at all! why would he be? you're together and you love each other, you know he would never cheat on you and usopp knows you would never do the same, that's why you're fine.

sanji.

— he is such a gentleman ! he opens doors for you all the time, gives you things and does everything to make you feel at ease !

— his love languages are helping each other, supporting you in hard times and spending time together ! all these things are important to sanji as a man who wants to cherish your every moment.

— he loves just holding you close to you and kissing your neck while goosebumps run through your body. sanji also likes hugs where he pats your back and soothes you, hugs where sanji tosses you up and hears your most beautiful laugh.

— he likes to embarrass you so much! to see you blush and cover your face with your hands while sanji mocks and comes over to you ready to destroy you with a tickle.

— he cooks for you all the time, and it's delicious, he loves to surprise you with his new recipes, he doesn't mind if you help him with the cooking, which then turns into a game of survival.

— sanji is crazy about the unexpected kisses from you, he's just sitting there reading a magazine as you come up and give him the most sensual kiss in the world, but he doesn't mind the air kisses where he puts all his desire to kiss you.

— will watch your favorite shows with you, he doesn't care what it is, as long as you like it, he likes it.

— he's a little spoon! he loves it when your nose is against his back and your palms are stroking his chest, sanji gets so calm and he sleeps the most beautiful sleep ;(

— sanji is sometimes unbearable and it hinders your relationship, he likes it when you get angry and show your temper, but he won't let it go too far, you are his favorite, so sanji doesn't really want you to lose your nerve cells completely.

— he can only be jealous sometimes, but then he remembers that you're still his and he doesn't have to worry.

buggy.

— the most charismatic guy in the world ! flirts with you 24/7 and he is not ashamed. he will make you as red as a tomato and then kiss you on the corner of your mouth.

— loves the hottest kisses when you run out of air but you don't want to let go of each other. will lose his head if you kiss his shoulder or earlobe, BUgGY DoN'T BreAthe ! ! your lips are so airy but leave the wettest kisses.

— jealous quite a lot :( he trusts you completely, but doesn't trust the other people who want to take you away from him. even if you have been in a relationship for a long time, buggy is still afraid that you will find a better person than him.

— big spoon ! loves to hold you tight and smell you ! wakes up several times during the night to make sure you are near, even if he still has a dead grip on you.

— likes to take long walks with you and give you the most delicious drinks.

— he's not the best cook, but he'll learn to cook and get a michelin star for you.

— he doesn't think what he says, and when he realizes it, it's too late. he may accidentally tell you everything he thinks, and then he will kneel down and beg you to take him back. you are the most precious thing in his life and if he loses you, buggy will lose his air and the meaning of life.

— he likes to watch soap operas! absolutely any kind, there is no difference, because he likes everything and later he can discuss it all with you.

[whoviandoodler]

been thinking about pok a lot again and that moment when riz told him sklonda was dating gorthalax (in some capacity or another) and pok just went quiet for a bit before he wished her well and like. he's riz's father to such a degree that it hurts. he died young, got to paradise and then said, ok time to go back to work, chop chop. and he does take breaks to listen to riz at his grave and he works in a beautiful meadow when he's not down in hell and -literally speaking- he does sit down but metaphorically he keeps on going and going.

and i'm just imagining that- obviously he knows that he's dead, right? but the human* brain is weird in that way where you'll know things, and you might even sit with them and think you've processed them, but then something will hit you out of left field and you'll realize there are so many aspects of the situation you hadn't internalized yet, and i think that one of those aspects for pok was sklonda, or rather all the dimensions in which her life branched off after he died. because with riz he'd always been painfully aware that his kid was growing up and changing, but with sklonda it's a bit more complicated, it's a bit easier to process the grief of being apart from her, purely on an unconscious level, as being away for work. he's working, she's working, she probably tells him about her work and about riz and riz includes his mom in his stories and it's like, oh this is horribly painful, that i can't be there, but in a way he and sklonda share a lot of what they used to when he was working abroad, no matter how far apart- they're always connected by their love for each other and the quiet but omnipresent nuptial tie and the state of being riz's parents.

and then he's suddenly hit with the reality of an area of sklonda's life that hadn't been on his mind before, considering they were happily and monogamously married. truly just a matter of like, this is not a space you occupy anymore, you're fucking dead, until death do us part and all that, and she might still love you but she loves you like a dead husband like a source of grief like the man she once knew not a living partner. and it's neither of their faults, it's purely a tragedy, and he genuinely wishes her the best because he loves her, he doesn't want her to be alone nor does he expect her to be faithful past reason and the vow they made to each other. but the grief of it still really fucking stings, doesn't it?

[lovely-p-issues]

Fic idea - Astyanax in Ithaca

for times when my English will become acceptable because writing this in Polish feels not right sample of the story under the summary c:

Of course, I was thinking about Penelope's reaction to Odysseus showing up with a new kid (10/11 years old, give or take, Astyanax) at their doors.

I imagined it as the Game of Thrones scene when Ned Stark comes home and shows Catelyn a baby who, he claims, is his bastard. If I were her, I would lose my mind.

But I think that Odysseus explained himself chaotically, yet truly and Penelope didn't fight with the idea of raising the little prince as their own.

But Telemachus? Well, that's a hell of a different story.

He spent his childhood without his father, missing his presence and hoping to meet him one day. He lived in his shadow, as the problematic son of the absent king that everyone wanted to kill, or as a painful reminder to his mother that Odysseus wasn't around anymore and that she needed to be there for the two of them.

Now his dad is back but with a new child.

A new child who knows his father so well. Odysseus was his only parent for ten years (if we forget about 600 uncles, but they died after like 3 years? if I get it right?) and they just get themselves on an impossible level.

Odysseus knows Astyanax's nightmares (they share them).

Astyanax knows his father's past and doesn't need to ask many questions, and Telemachus does. He hates to do it because he sees Odysseus's pain, he sees Astyanax's reproachful look, like he is going to fight Telemachus if he doesn't leave their father, and-

and he sees the sad, concerned eyes of his mom.

So he doesn't ask much about those 20 years. And somehow it's even worse.

Because Telemachus doesn't know Odysseus. Because it feels weird and not home, like they are forced to be close, but they are not. Because he knew his father from songs, stories and legends, and this man is not who he heard of and he doesn't know how can he fix it.

Telemachus doesn't like to think about it but feels like he gives up on Odysseus. He spent the last 20 years of his life trying to reach that man and- Telemachus is tired.

Besides, Odysseus has another son anyway, right?

The prince of Troy, cursed boy, son of Hector, Astyanax, who also turned out to be a pain in the ass.

He knows that he can't blame the kid for his existence or even for the fact that Odysseus took him to their home.

For that Odysseus often takes Astyanax for horse rides to show him the island. The thing that Telemachus did alone.

For that, Odysseus teaches the boy how to use a sword and they laugh a lot during that. The thing that Telemachus did with strangers, got dozens of bruises, always trying to do everything he could to impress the person that wasn't there.

He doesn't blame Astyanax.

He just can't stand him.

But the boy seems to love the idea of going after him whenever Odysseus manages to pull him off for a moment. It's okay when Astyanax watches him during the trainings with eyes shining with excitement. However, it's bad when Astyanax starts to talk.

Father said I'm getting better at parrying-

When I was with father on Calypso's island-

Father does this completely differently-

Telemachus is a patient man. He waited for his father for 20 years. But sometimes he asks himself if Astyanax knows that all this talking about Odysseus, the man he missed but can't actually get to know, is such a trigger for him.

Maybe Astyanax teases him to show how much more of a son Odysseus is?

With every day Telemachus is more and more irritated. He does his best to hide it, but he can't ignore this fire burning him from the inside.

The reason for this fragile peace collapse is, relatively, very stupid.

Telemachus was tired after all day when he met Odysseus.

"The situation in the city is now calmed down,’ he informed his father, combing through his wind-tangled hair."

Odysseus nodded and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Thank you, Telemachus. Well done."

Telemachus froze, not knowing what to say. He couldn't even move. Finally, he nodded, wincing slightly at the awkwardness of his every interaction with his father.

"Of course, father."

Odysseus seemed equally perplexed. However, the whole situation changed when Astyanax appeared in the courtyard where they stood.

Or, he ran into it, almost toppling over, just to get to Odysseus faster and embrace him around the waist.

"Dad, you will never believe what I found with mother in the garden!"

Telemachus watched with unhealthy interest as his father's face lit up with a smile as he listened to Astyanax's excited chatter.

A sudden anger, though senseless and petty, flared his veins. He had to avert his gaze and drive it into the ground so that no one could see his anger. His jaw was clenched tightly.

Twenty years of life based on a vague memory. An entire journey to find his father. His faith, his efforts and his devotion. All this to not be able to have one real conversation with his father. All this to watch both his parents melt down over his new, little brother. All this to stand by and watch his dreams fade away.

He no longer watched.

He walked away before he could do something stupid. Something that would distance him even further from his father.

He holed up in one of the cool and dark corridors of their palace. He concentrated on his breathing and massaged his temples.

He was an adult and knew how to deal with his feelings. Not that anyone had ever taught him that.

"Telemachus, what's wrong? You don't even know what we found in the garden, you went too fast!"

He didn't know shit about how to deal with his feelings.

"Could you, for five minutes, let me live as I lived before you came along? Five minutes without your constant footsteps and shouting behind my back. Five minutes of peace and quiet! That's all I'm asking for!"

But Astyanax took a few steps back as if frightened by Telemachus' sudden outburst. A grimace twisted his face and he squinted as if Telemachus was an extremely difficult puzzle for his quick mind.

"Why are you so angry? I don't understand."

"At this point? I'm not sure anymore. All I know is that I wasn't this angry even once before you dragged yourself home with father and decided to act as if it had all been yours forever."

Telemachus had to calm down. For bloody hell, he had just shouted at the eleven-year-old as if he was guilty of anything.

‘Are you angry about your father bringing me with him?’

Damn it.

It wasn't true. To be fair, he did not want Astyanax to die that night in Troy or be lost in the depths of the burning city.

Still, did he want him here? He let his thoughts wander before he could finally admit it to himself.

Astyanax, essentially, was not the problem. Everything else was. Telemachus was as well.

"No. There are many other things I'm angry about, but not this."

He sat down on the floor and leaned against the cool wall. He hid his face in his hands and let the anger leave him with his next breaths.

"Forgive my shouting. You got me at the wrong time, brother."

And he heard the boy slowly slide down the wall and sit down a few steps away from him.

"You should be grateful, you know?" suddenly said Astyanax. "He travelled all the world to see you and Mom."

You won't scream, Telemachus said to himself. He took a breath.

"Yeah, he didn't really know me, so. I don't know if that counts."

"That's even better. I mean, he loved you anyway. All this time, he was thinking about you"

This logic was wrong, but Telemachus doesn't find enough strength to fight over it.

They stayed silent for a few minutes.

"He didn't want me, you know? He just didn't want me dead and I reminded him of you. He was also scared of what I would become if he just left me alone. And you are so awful but he wanted you from the beginning and he loves you and he was so proud and-" Astyanax put his arms around his knees, his voice breaking as he spoke his next words: "You're a terrible idiot, you know. But he still wants you."

Telemachus needed a few seconds to see that every now and then, Astyanax would rub his wet eyes with his little fists.

He wasn't ready for this, even after months of training he wouldn't be ready. He stays silent for a moment. Slowly, he puts his arms over the crying mess and draws him to his side.

"And you think that father carried you all over the world because he doesn't like you?"

"Because he's kind and he would be ashamed to tell uncle Polites what he did."

"As far I know he wasn't so nice all this time, right? But he never turned his back on you. If you don't trust me, trust that. Odysseus came with you to Ithaca, because he wants you."

Astyanax did not reply but rested his head on his side. Telemachus let him.

Later that night, Telemachus carried a tired Astyanax straight to his parents' bedroom and knocked. When confused Odysseus finally opened it, Telemachus threw the sleepy child at him without hesitation.

"Hug your bloody kid."

And he walked away. This was his moment to avoid uncomfortable questions.

Let me know what do you think. And yes, Telemachus and Odysseus have a proper conversation about being father and son, but later.

BTW sorry for all the errors, I'm so sleepy right now I barely see my screen

[elliespassagerprincess]

What about Ellie taking readers first kiss?!?🤭 very nervous reader?? anxious somewhat but also super excitedd

Frostbite - (ellie williams x reader)

Hi anon!! i did it a little differently from your request, i hope you don't mind. I could not stop writing this, i might make a part 2 to this... I hope you enjoy <333

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

requests are open! send me your silly thoughts

Warning: none

Summary: in which you shared a special moment with her

authors note: did i mention Christmas in this because I'm excited for December? yes.

masterlist

Jackson was covered in thick layer of snow. Everyone was wearing puffer jackets, mittens and beanies hoping that the cold air wouldn't affect them. You walked down the street seeing how people were hanging Christmas lights, and how the children stared at everything in awe. The children made snowmen, and you knew that soon the town would be buzzing with people as they started to buy gifts for their families.

As beautiful as the holidays were, you hated it. Every year you'd end up alone in your house, listening to carols being sang. You're be filled with a emptiness that you can't explain.

You missed your family every year. You'd always imagine the type of life you'd be living if the outbreak never happened.

You sat in the local garden, shivering slightly when the cool breeze blew past you.

"There you are, i was looking for you"

you turned your head to that voice.

Her voice.

Ellie Williams.

You rolled your eyes "you need to stop looking for me"

"i missed you though" she pouted

You hated when she did this.

When she'd come after you with nice words, pretending like she cared.

Maybe she did and you didn't believe her. At this point you don't know how to feel.

When Ellie first arrived in Jackson the two of you were inseparable.

"We were bound to be friends" she'd always say.

Sleepovers, makeovers, baking, watching old movies, you did everything together.

But the older the two of you grew, things became different.

You both got new friends, new interests. You used to spend every waking second of the day together, now the two of you only awkwardly said hi when you saw each other in public.

You both had reasons for the sudden distance.

You thought Ellie had outgrown your friendship. One day she'd be smiling with you, the next day she'd barley look at you.

Ellie on the other hand, was in love with you.

She suddenly became self-aware of how she looked, how she smelled, how she spoke. She didn't want to embarrass herself. The best solution to her problem (or what she thought was right) was avoiding you.

Now that she's older she has realized that damage her avoiding you caused.

Years had gone by and the two of you lived separate lives, but Ellie's feelings for you never went away. She was stuck on you.

No matter how many girls she dated, kissed or hooked up with, she knew her heart belonged to you.

The older Ellie grew, the more attractive you found her and some days you're actually glad the friendship ended.

Imagine you were best friends with the girl you loved?

Both of you assumed your feelings were one sided. Until the rumors started.

It all started when a girl randomly slapped you across the face saying that Ellie moaned your name while they were doing the deed.

She's been avoiding you but she's moaning your name?

You weren't sure if you should feel flattened or disturbed.

You'd hear more stories as the years went on.

"She liked you" , "She misses you" You weren't sure if this was even true. Maybe it was all just a sick joke.

Even with all the drama you missed her. The friendship. The cheesy jokes, the stupid stories. You just missed her.

You were actually happy when Ellie slowly started coming back into your life. It went from just saying hi occasionally, to small life updates to full sleepovers.

It was just like old times.

Your heart ached for her even more, now you're getting close again. As much as you enjoyed the friendship, you couldn't help but want more.

You noticed her lingering touches, the small glances.

Maybe you were being delusional? Maybe you were reading into it?

You could feel a connection, but does she feel it too?

Maybe the rumors weren't true.

"You saw me earlier els, you cant miss me"

"I just love spending time with you"

fuck, how many girls has she said this to?

"i want to-" she went silent, not finishing her sentence.

She seemed nervous.

From the corner of your eye you see her moving closer to you, her arm wrapping around your shoulders.

You shiver at the close contact.

"Why are you so close?" You ask in a whisper

"I'm keeping you warm"

It was winter and its really fucking cold but suddenly you were hot. You were almost sweating because of the close proximity.

This is closest she's been in years.

Ellie leaned closer towards you, so close you could feel her breathe on your cheek. Your heart races, you felt comfortable in her presence, you palms felt clammy.

You were nervous.

Why does she make you nervous?

"Can i kiss you?" Ellie suddenly asked.

Without hesitation you said yes.

Before your lips crashed into hers, your body turned hot, your breathing came out in short breaths. You turned to her and and her hand gently touched your cheek, you leaned in first.

Since when are you bold? Were you really this desperate?

As soon as your lips made contact, you felt butterflies explode in your stomach. She pulled you closer by the waist and you grabbed her face bringing her closer than she already was.

Your heart was beating so fucking fast, you assumed she could probably feel it.

"Your lips are...cold" you softly chuckle as your fingers brushed against your lips.

Did this just happen?

You were suddenly hyperaware of your surroundings.

Did you breath smell ok? Did you kiss ok?

Fuck now you were really nervous.

Ellie didn't respond and there was a comfortable silence between the two of you.

Ellie spoke up eventually "I've always wanted to do that"

You stayed silent blushing at her words.

"Do you want to come back to... my place so we can talk about us.... and i know you hate being alone during the holidays so can we perhaps... i don't know... go?"

"Yeah... I'd like that"

<3

[roosterforme]

Always Ever Only You Part 26 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: No matter what Bradley did, you seemed frustrated with him. You needed a new car, but you needed to start communicating with him even more. He was scrambling to try to fix everything, but it was hard when you could barely stay awake for a conversation.

Warnings: Swearing, drinking, pregnancy topics, angst

Length: 5900 words

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader

This was written to accompany my series Is It Working For You? along with a bunch of my one-shots and other series, but it can be read on its own! Check my masterlist for the reading order. Always Ever Only You masterlist. Gorgeous banner by @mak-32

When nearly a week had gone by, and you still wouldn't focus on picking out a new car for yourself, Bradley was starting to get frustrated. Sharing the Bronco with you wasn't a big deal. You respected it and treated it well, but he had to play nice when you wanted to use it to go to brunch on Sunday with Cam and Maria at the same time he wanted to play golf.

"Can't Jake pick you up?" you asked him with an annoyed sigh. "I'll text him and ask if he can come get you."

"Why can't Cam or Maria pick you up?" he asked, feeling kind of fucking fed up with you at the moment. 

"Fine," you replied, an eerily calm expression taking over your face. "I'll have one of them pick me up for brunch in the morning. Don't worry about it."

You turned on your heel and walked back to the bedroom leaving Bradley raking his fingers through his hair. He had finally started to feel normal again after having your parents at the house for a few days. It's not like they were even loud or inconsiderate, but he just struggled a bit with it anyway. He wasn't used to closing the bedroom door knowing Tramp liked to wander around the house at all hours of the day and night. He liked to take a piss with the bathroom door open, and he liked to randomly reach up under your shirt when you were in the kitchen if you welcomed it. And he just couldn't do any of that with other people in the house, even though it was family. 

"Fuck," he mumbled. It wasn't even a big deal for you to take the Bronco to brunch. Jake or Javy could easily get him on their way to the golf course, and now he needed to go apologize to you. But the bedroom door was closed when he got there, and he immediately felt like he needed to be touching you, because you were literally the only person who could be in his personal space all day long and not usually annoy him in the slightest. 

When he turned the knob, he was relieved to find it wasn't locked. "Baby Girl?" he called out cautiously, and then he found you in the bathroom. "Shit," he whispered, watching you wipe your eyes before turning toward the mirror, but there was no way to hide from him in here. "I'm sorry."

"Could you just leave me alone?" you asked without looking at him.

The words caused him physical pain, because that was the last thing he wanted right now. He'd gotten used to how much better everything was recently, and he was absolutely unwilling to stop communicating with you. "Can we talk about it? About a car? We could buy one tomorrow if you pick one out."

You turned and snapped at him. "Maybe next time just don't fuck up the one I already have!"

He had apologized to you countless times. He'd given your shit car a eulogy. He had offered to buy you any car you found that you wanted, but now he was just as mad as you were. "I just wanted to tell you that you can use the Bronco tomorrow."

"How generous," you replied sarcastically. "But I already told you I'll get a ride from Cam or Maria. Now would you please leave me alone?"

Bradley nodded and retreated back to the living room couch with Tramp, because he didn't know what else to do. He stretched out and decided to look at cars until you resurfaced to make dinner. There were two huge dealerships in San Diego that had the current model year of your old car, and they both had them stocked in several colors with different options available. You could get a new red one with a sunroof and gray interior just like you had before. He'd upgrade the stereo package to make riding in it less painful for him, but he'd buy it right now if you said it's what you wanted. 

As he thought back to the way you dragged your feet about wedding planning, he muttered a string of obscenities. At this rate, he'd be sharing the Bronco with you for a long time. He bookmarked a bunch of new cars, and then he searched all over the country to see if anyone was selling an exact replica of the one he totaled. A few hours later, it occurred to him that you never came back out of the bedroom. He scooped up Tramp where he'd fallen asleep on his chest and carried him back down the hallway. 

You were sound asleep in bed, curled up on your side, breathing softly. Bradley checked the time again. It was only 7:15, but maybe you just needed to rest. He tucked the covers up around your shoulders and kissed your forehead before venturing back out to the kitchen to make himself a sandwich before working out.

------------------------

By the middle of the week, you were aggressively annoyed by everything, but mostly Bradley's voice. On Sunday, Cam picked you up for brunch even though Bradley told you a million times you could use the Bronco. You didn't even want to use the Bronco. He could use it all day long. And then you went back to Cam's place and lounged on his couch until you were starting to get hungry for dinner. If Bradley wondered why you were out for a six hour brunch, he didn't ask. 

But when he eventually called your phone, you asked Cam to drive you home. "Your husband is like a twelve out of ten," he murmured as he drove you. "Don't be mean to him." Then you climbed out of his car onto your driveway and rolled your eyes, because after that he was getting on your nerves, too.

So on Monday and Tuesday, you just avoided Bradley as much as you could at work after driving in with him, but on Wednesday, as he pulled into the parking garage, he cleared his throat. "Hard Deck tonight?"

"You can go," you replied as you unbuckled your seatbelt. "You can take the Bronco, and I'll just stay home." You bit your lip immediately as you said the words, because you felt like crying. You couldn't understand what was wrong with you as tears burned your eyes. The last thing you wanted to do was skip a fun night out. You also didn't know why you couldn't commit to a car. Everything felt like too much the last few days, and you wanted to scream.

"Can we talk about this?" Bradley asked, his voice pleading with you, but you didn't even know what to say. 

"Later," you told him before heading for the building, but he was right behind you, undeterred.

"Don't give me that later bullshit. We've been talking and communicating a lot better, and I absolutely refuse to stop doing either of those things!"

You spun around so fast, he almost collided with you. "I have a meeting with Bickel, okay? About Annapolis. And it starts in twenty minutes. And I'm tired. And I miss my car. And I need to go."

After that, you weren't sure if he followed you or not, because you didn't turn around to check. When you got to your office and opened your computer, you saw the calendar reminder that made more tears cloud your vision. You cradled your forehead in your hand. Saturday was Carole Bradshaw's birthday. 

The fact that you forgot it was coming up was worrying, because you couldn't let work take over your life again like it had in the past. You'd been mentally planning to make another fancy dinner to celebrate her day, the way you had for both of Bradley's parents' birthdays last year. Filet mignon and crab cakes and brownies. 

Fuck. You wanted to sit alone in your office and cry all morning, but now you had four minutes until you had to sit down with your boss. You pulled yourself together the best you could and made your way to talk to Bickel. Cat was there too, and you could feel her intense gaze on you as if she was physically touching you. You knew she could tell something was on your mind, but you sat as calmly as you could and looked through the folder of information that was given to you. 

Bickel folded his hands on his desk and said, "I'm letting the two of you decide how you'd like to present our work in Annapolis. I'm trying to finalize some dates for us, but it's looking like the first week of August. This would add two million dollars to our pending budget for next year, which would give us the opportunity to explore an even more advanced comms system. And it would be a great way for me to push for your promotion, Lieutenant Coleman."

"Yes, Sir," Cat replied immediately. When you were both dismissed, she took you by the arm out in the hallway and whispered, "Please, I need you to focus on this for me. Okay? Why do you look like you're on the verge of tears?"

"I'm having a bad week," you whispered, still unsure why you felt like this. Your fingers were tingling, and you were so anxious, you were about to walk yourself to see Dr. Genevieve. But you hadn't eaten breakfast, and it was almost lunchtime now after Bickel kept you so long. "I need lunch," you told Cat, and she sighed and walked down to the cafeteria with you.

Part of you wanted to see Bradley, but part of you did not. And something about the idea of a burrito bowl was turning your stomach just looking at it. You picked out a sandwich and some soup and found a spot at a table that was completely empty except for Bob. 

"Hi," you said softly, and he looked up from his notebook with a smile as you slid into the seat across from him. 

"Hi," he replied in his sweet voice that immediately made you feel calmer. "I actually was hoping to see you to thank you again. Maria has been really accommodating about me moving in, and this way I don't have to commute into the city every day."

You waved him off as you tried a spoonful of the flavorless soup. "I'm just happy it worked out. For both of you. I didn't want Maria to have some creep move in since she couldn't find anyone else. And obviously you're just lovely, Bob."

He visibly bristled a bit. "No, she shouldn't have to deal with a creepy roommate."

Then Jake dropped down in the seat next to yours and turned to smile as Cat sat on his other side. "Angel. What the hell are you doing to Rooster now?"

"What do you mean?" you asked, looking around, but your husband and Nat were still in line for food. 

"He's fucking miserable today. Cranky as hell. And I know for a fact nothing can set that man off the way you can. It's honestly pretty funny, but he did snap at me three times. It's like dealing with Hondo all over again."

"Sorry," you heard Cat mutter as she ate her lunch.

You gripped your spoon in your hand and took a deep breath, but all you could say was, "I don't know." You truly didn't know what was going on. Your brain was in a constant fog, and you felt so antsy. 

Bradley sat across the table from you, eyeing you carefully from his spot next to Bob. You tried to give him a reassuring smile, but you didn't know if it came across that way when he just looked sadder. 

"Who's coming to the bar tonight?" Nat asked loudly.

After Jake and Cat agreed to go, you quietly said, "Not me. I have to catch up on some things I was supposed to read, but I'll drop Bradley off for the night."

Your husband shook his head and opened his mouth to reply, but Nat was already squeezing his shoulder. "Sounds good," she said, and after that, he sat quietly. 

----------------------------

Bradley flew all afternoon, and it was bad. Just really, very bad. He was distracted, and the fact that Javy had to keep repeating himself was about to earn Bradley a lecture from Maverick if he didn't pull it together. But you were just making him so sad, and he had no idea why you were currently barely able to look at him without crying or yelling. 

He hadn't even done anything. Had he? Yeah, he'd completely destroyed your beloved car, but the visit with your parents had gone pretty well. He hadn't missed any important dates of anniversaries. He'd been keeping up with his chores at home. 

You'd been running a bit hot and cold in the bedroom. He'd never push you for more than you wanted to do, but then perhaps he hadn't been good for you recently? The mere thought had him squirming and sweating in his cockpit as he followed Javy into a dive. Shit. Could that be it? He always got you off. Except that he knew he hadn't in the family bathroom at the Padres game, but you and he had been in a rush. And that night last week when you started yawning while you rode him, he distinctly remembered you saying it didn't matter if you came since you were so tired.

Shit. Things had been going great, he didn't realize what he'd been doing, and now he had to figure out how to fix it when you seemed so disinterested in talking to him. As he brought his jet back down to the tarmac he tried to come up with a plan, but he felt helpless. These were the times he felt like having a mother of his own would come in handy, because he couldn't exactly take this to your mom. 

"Fuck." He wrenched his helmet off and ran his fingers through his hair. You were sending him off to the bar alone tonight to get him out of your space, he could tell. So maybe the best thing he could do right now was just follow your lead. 

After he showered and headed for the parking garage, he found you leaning against the side of the Bronco waiting for him. "Hi, Sweetheart," he said, leaning down to kiss you softly.

Your quiet response of, "Hi, Roo," made him feel a lot better, and you let him buckle you in, which was great. But then you said, "I'll just drop you off at the bar later and come back for you. I have some things I want to get done."

He nodded. "Sure. Whatever you want." 

Back at home, he was able to coax you onto his lap for dinner at the dining room table, and even though it was a quiet affair, he didn't mind. He just rubbed his hand up and down your back, and eventually you sank back against him even though you'd only had a few bites of food. You were practically asleep on him as he finished eating, but you jolted up when his phone vibrated against your hip.

"It's probably just Nat," he whispered, and you nodded as you checked the time. 

"I'll drop you off whenever you're ready, and I'll come back for you around ten?"

He cupped your perfect cheek in one hand and asked, "Are you sure you don't want to come? I can help you get caught up with work tomorrow or this weekend. I'm a pretty good helper."

You cracked the tiniest smile as you said, "I'm just not in the mood. You go and drink and have fun, and I'll come back for you."

He kissed your cheek. "I'll be waiting, ready to come home with you whenever you get there."

--------------------------

When Bradley climbed out of the Bronco, you watched him head inside the bar. He was wearing his white and yellow floral print shirt, part of the matching set that he'd bought for the two of you, and he looked so sexy, you were thrumming with need. You were all over the place. A few days ago, the mere sight of him had you ready to climb out the window, and now you were on the verge of chasing him down to fuck you.

"Get a grip. My god," you moaned as you pulled back onto the road. At least now you could go to the store and purchase everything you'd need to make Carole's birthday dinner in peace. 

The store was quiet, which was great, because you didn't currently know if something was about to set you off. You grabbed a cart, and the cool metal against your hands felt nice. A smile found its way to your face as you listened to Everywhere by Fleetwood Mac playing throughout the store and picked out some beautiful looking steaks. Then you found everything for the crab cakes and the brownies, and you got a bottle of expensive champagne. 

You were already feeling better now, almost excited to celebrate the mother-in-law that you'd never had the privilege of meeting. She deserved a special day and a fancy dinner, because even though you didn't know her personally, you were absolutely certain Carole Bradshaw was incredible. The sparkle of your engagement ring caught your eye, and you stood in front of the wine and champagne and sobbed quietly until you felt like you could continue shopping. 

It had to be the combination of work and her birthday and your car that was setting you off. No matter how bad it made you feel, you'd pick out a new car this weekend. You knew there was enough in your savings account for a down payment, so you just had to force yourself to bite the bullet. You'd do it for Bradley and for yourself. 

While you unpacked the groceries, you made a sandwich, finally hungry again after you'd barely been able to eat dinner. But that started to make you too full after just half of it. "Don't tell Daddy," you whispered before feeding it to Tramp. 

Then you sat at the island and read through the folder from Bickel. You had weeks of research and planning ahead of you, but it would be worth it for the grant money. Cat was a solid gold choice as a partner for this, especially since she was motivated by that promotion she wanted. You were excited, but realistically so. You needed to make sure you didn't overdo things this time around. You could rely on Cat as much as yourself, and you knew that now.

When you checked the time on your phone, it was already 10:30. You texted Bradley and let him know you'd be there soon. When you started the Bronco, you got a text back.

Bradley Rooster Bradshaw <3 <3 <3: Can't wait for you to take me home.

You smiled and sang on your way there, already feeling better about having everything for Carole's birthday dinner ready to go. You parked the Bronco and headed inside, twirling Bradley's keyring on your fingers. As soon as you pushed the door open, the wave of noise hit you, and you made a beeline for the pool table. Penny's summer drink specials must have been on point, because the place was packed.

Just when you were trying to squeeze between two massive guys, you caught sight of Bradley just in time to see a woman walk up behind him and tap him on the shoulder. Maybe he thought it was you at first, because he spun to face her with a smile on his face. You got jostled around a little bit as your steps faltered and came to a stop. Bradley was conversing a bit with her now, although his smile was gone, and you watched as she reached up with her perfectly manicured nails and dragged them along his paper airplane tattoo on his bicep.

"Oh, hell no," you gasped, registering that Bradley looked surprised, and not in a good way. But you were frozen to the spot now as disgust, embarrassment and jealousy washed over you. It wasn't like he wasn't wearing his wedding band. He was. How was that not enough? You couldn't decide if you wanted to run away or rip her head off.

Bradley immediately started to back away from her, shaking his head as he went, and then his gaze connected with yours. He mouthed your name, and you could see the concern on his face as you swallowed hard. Instead of running away, you stood there like an idiot when he came rushing in your direction.

"Sweetheart," he said, reaching for your hand, his eyes on yours. 

"Who's your friend?" you asked. Your voice sounded like it belonged to someone else while your throat burned. 

You let him wrap one big hand around your back and pull you closer, holding you there. "No idea. Never saw her before thirty seconds ago."

"I didn't like her touching you."

His eyebrow quirked up as his hand dipped a little lower. "Neither did I. Especially since I got the tattoo for you, Baby Girl."

You had your arms around his neck instantly, the other woman forgotten as you kissed your husband. He tasted like your favorite beer, and you whimpered. But your body felt somehow both too tender and too needy pressed up against him as you said, "It's for me. Mine. Let's go home."

-------------------------

Bradley let you drive since he'd had a fair amount to drink. That fucking woman just about ruined his night by asking him what he was drinking and then touching his arm, feigning interest in his unique tattoo. The past week had already felt like touch and go with you, and he was unwilling to make it worse. He still wasn't quite sure how to get things back to where they had been just a short time ago. 

When you parked in the driveway in the spot where you used to park your car, he almost winced. But you crawled over to his lap and started to unbutton his shirt. "Take me to bed," you told him, rubbing yourself on him through his jeans. 

He grunted in response, carrying you up to the porch and wrestling with his key in the lock as you kissed his neck. Clothing was discarded along the way, and when he got you in the bedroom with the soft lamplight illuminating your skin, he moaned. 

"Jesus Christ, you're a dream."

Truly, your tits had never looked better, and somehow the aroused looking little scowl you were shooting his way was really working him up as you shimmied your jeans down your legs. He was hard when you finally pushed him onto the bed and climbed on top. 

"I love you," he promised as your lips met his, and you sank down around his length. Warm and wet and perfect. Holy shit, you felt incredible as you rolled your hips slowly, his hands settling at your waist. You were velvety smooth everywhere. The only thing he wanted. 

He held your hips in his hands and thrust up into you as his lips met your nipple. You moaned as he licked you, but as soon as he sucked hard, pulling you between his lips, you gasped. So he did it again and again, but your hips stilled and your hands left his shoulders and reached for his cheeks.

"It hurts," you gasped, pushing his face away from your chest. "Stop."

He let his head settle back on the pillow. "Sorry." Tentatively, he brought his hand up to your left breast and gave you a nice squeeze, but you pulled away further. Then you were kneeling next to him with your arms crossed over your chest. "Sorry," he repeated. "But I always touch you that way?"

You burst into tears and said, "It just hurts."

And that was the last thing you said to him for the night as you crawled under the covers. As soon as Bradley got his erection under control by pacing around the bathroom, he walked back to the bed to find you sound asleep.

On Thursday and Friday, you didn't even acknowledge it. When he asked if it was okay if he touched you on Thursday morning, you went willingly into his arms as the toaster popped out your breakfast. And on Friday morning, you let him snuggle with you a little bit before you got out of bed, so at least he was fairly convinced you weren't too mad at him. But he just knew he hadn't been doing enough for you in bed which really pissed him off. 

He was older than everyone else around him seemingly all the time, and now he was feeling insecure about it again. If he could just manage to get you to have a real conversation with him, then he'd try to fix this. But you were busy with work, something else that had a red flag shooting up in the back of his mind. No, he was not going to fuck this all up yet again. You and he had something special, and he was going to demand a conversation. 

--------------------------

You poked at your lunch on Friday as Jake and Bradley argued next to you in the cafeteria. You were barely able to pay attention to them, because you were so tired, and you had another meeting with Bickel in an hour. As far as you could tell, you were getting the flu, which seemed weird for July, but nothing else made sense. 

No matter how much you slept, you were exhausted. Your body was aching, and you were so damn moody. You'd practically accosted Bradley on Wednesday after you picked him up from the bar, but then you fell asleep as soon as you told him your breasts hurt. You felt embarrassed now as you looked at him next to you, because after all of that, you didn't even let him finish that night. 

As you adjusted your shirt, you could have screamed at how tender your nipples were. At least it was Friday. You could catch up on reading for your presentation research, and then you could sleep. 

"Come on, Rooster," Jake complained. "You have to come tomorrow. I'll leave the hard seltzers at home, and Javy and I will behave."

Bradley turned to look at you with big, brown eyes before he told Jake, "No. No golf tomorrow. I have some things I need to take care of." Then he turned back toward you and softly said, "We're talking tomorrow. About a bunch of stuff. Until we are sorted out."

Now you felt guilty as Jake shot you a look. "We can talk tomorrow afternoon, Roo. Go play golf."

"Yeah, Bradshaw," Jake piped up. "Angel said you can do shit with her in the afternoon. So you'll come with Bob, Javy and I? You know Reuben sucks at golf. He's even worse than you."

"Go," you told Bradley, kissing the edge of his mustache before you stood. "Yes, Jake, he will be golfing tomorrow. I plan on sleeping in, and the quiet house will be nice."

Bradley reached for your hand, lacing his fingers with yours as he looked up at you. "I love you."

You nodded. "I love you, too. I need to go get ready for a meeting." His eyes were on your body as you walked away, but you needed to focus on work right now. 

It was all you could do to go back to Bickel's office with Cat and not fall asleep in his soft leather chair. Your boss's calm voice and the warm room were almost too much for your senses. You were fighting with yourself to keep your eyes open. Fighting with everything you had to stay engaged. An hour went by and then two, and he was still talking, and so was Cat, and they kept asking you for input. You were clinging to your extensive knowledge on the subject matter and hoping for the best when Bickel's desk phone rang, and he finally dismissed you. 

"This is so exciting," Cat gushed out in the cooler hallway. "I was telling Jake last night that you and I are going to have the best presentation at the Naval Academy next month, and do you know what he said?"

"Hmm?" you hummed as you walked to the lab.

"He offered to watch Jeremiah!"

"Oh." You hadn't even really considered how hard it would be for Cat to go to Maryland with you, but this was probably a big deal. Jeremiah wasn't even two yet. "Wow. Look at Jake being an exceptional boyfriend. Good thing I pushed the two of you to actually communicate with each other."

Cat laughed and hugged you before entering the lab, but you cringed. Communication. You'd talk to Bradley tomorrow afternoon. You'd pick a car tomorrow afternoon. But when you got home today, you were going to take your temperature and then get in bed. 

You had to wait by the Bronco for such a long time, you contemplated texting Bradley to see what the holdup was. It was late, you were actually starving, and you wanted to go home. You shifted your bag from one shoulder to the other, beyond annoyed that there was only one key to this thing; you couldn't even sit inside. You glared at the pretty blue paint, really missing your ugly red car with your whole heart when you heard boots pounding the pavement behind you.

"I'm so sorry, Baby Girl," Bradley gasped. He must have run the whole way here from the tarmac since he was still in his flight suit. "We ran over. I should have left the keys with you this morning. I"m sorry."

You nodded as he helped you in the passenger side door and buckled you in. "Okay."

He pulled out of the parking garage, glancing at you every few seconds. "All you're going to say is okay?"

You yawned wishing you could get undressed. "What do you want me to say, Bradley?"

He was quiet for a few blocks, but when he turned down your street, he let loose. "I want you to say something more than okay. I want you to fucking talk to me, alright? I feel like everything I'm doing right now is making you mad at me, and I hate that. I fucking hate it." He hit the brakes a little hard in the driveway, and now you were alert as you started crying. 

"Fuck!" Bradley growled, hands gripping the steering wheel. "I'm sorry." He looked so upset right now, you didn't even know what to do as tears streamed down your cheeks. Then he was running across the driveway and helping you out of the Bronco and into the house, but the tears kept coming. And now your head was throbbing and you felt so sick. 

"I just want to go to bed," you gasped. "Please," you begged as he kissed your forehead over and over again while Tramp jumped around. 

"Of course," Bradley whispered, his lips meeting your face again before he knelt in front of you. He kissed your thighs through your khaki pants and helped you out of your boots, looking up at your face which you were sure looked like a wreck. "Sweetheart, I'm so sorry I yelled." 

"It's okay," you managed as the room spun a little bit. "I just need to get in bed."

He carried you there, and it felt amazing to not have to walk. Then he set you on the bed and undressed you as he asked, "Do you want some water? A snack?"

You nodded and got under the covers, and said, "Yes, please," as you started to doze off. All you managed to do was eat a handful of trail mix and chug a glass of water before you passed out. 

When you eventually woke up, you felt a little better, but when you rolled over, the other half of the bed was empty and cold. It was eight in the morning according to your phone. You'd just slept for over twelve hours, and Bradley was out playing golf now. The cool fabric of his pillow on your face felt so nice, you rolled over all the way. You must have a fever and the flu. You felt too hot, and your breasts were aching. So was your abdomen. Your period was probably about to start. 

You frowned and looked at your phone again, opening the calendar app. It was Carole's birthday, but it was apparently also five weeks since you'd had your period. "Oh my god." You practically fell out of the bed, your legs tangling up in the sheets as you tried to get to your feet. 

"Oh shit," you gasped, running for the bathroom. You didn't know what to do first, but your stomach won as you lunged for the toilet and threw up everything in your stomach. "Gross," you groaned as you flushed the toilet, but as soon as you tried to stand, more came up. Your heart was thudding in your chest as you forced yourself to be patient and let your stomach empty itself.

When you finally could, you got to your feet again, removing your glasses to rinse your mouth out and splash water on your face. Then you dried yourself and slid them back on. You eyed the linen closet next to the door in the mirror before turning around slowly. As you strode across the tile floor, Tramp came in to investigate, but you ignored him as you closed the distance to where you thought you might have one last pregnancy test hidden away.

You opened the narrow door and knelt down, and then you started throwing everything from the bottom shelves over your shoulders, frantically searching. You saw the box, and you tore it open. You already knew what to do, because you'd done it so many times before, but your hands were shaking as you removed the test and looked at it on your palm in the foil wrapper. 

Tramp whimpered at you as you got to your feet again and made it to the toilet, this time pulling your underwear down as you went. When the wrapper fell away, you took the test, hands shaking as you set it on the edge of the sink vanity when you were done. Then you wiped as you started to panic. Three minutes. You needed to wait for three minutes. 

Your phone was simply too far away as you started counting out loud, your voice echoing around your bathroom. It wasn't ready yet. You climbed into the empty bathtub, sitting and wrapping your arms around your knees. And you counted. 

You closed your eyes, and you counted. You looked at Tramp, and you counted. You pressed your forehead to your knees, and you counted all the way until you reached one hundred and eighty. 

"Three minutes," you whispered, your heart beating so hard, it was making you feel like you might need to throw up again. You climbed out of the tub onto unsteady legs and held your breath as you walked to the vanity. Very carefully, like it was the most precious thing you'd ever touched, you picked up the test. You checked the result before promptly dropping it to the floor.

------------------------

Thanks @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls

PART 27

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[gotholdladywithadhd]

Unpopular opinion, probably.

So I've read many metas, and thought a lot about it and have come to my own personal conclusion about the final 15.

I'm taking it at face value.

Because it was the most human Crowley and Aziraphale have probably ever been and I think that is at least part of the point. Love makes people stupid and they are navigating a very human thing in very unhuman circumstances, and it's hard enough to do as a human in human circumstances!

I think Aziraphale believed the Metatron about Crowley bc he was expecting the worst when TM mentioned Crowley but instead got the one thing he wanted most (him and Crowley together and safe, not Crowley being an angel. ) Crowley was absolutely the carrot here. (and no I do not think Crowley would have been safe or happy, but that's besides the point.) I can't tell you how many times I've believed patently ridiculous things because I wanted to believe them so badly even though if I was looking at the same situation objectively from an outside POV I would see how ridiculous it was, so I totally get it. This isn't to say I think Azi had a real choice to go to Heaven or not and I think he did understand that as well, but I get the temptation the Metatron threw out to him, I really do.

As for Aziraphale literally saying all the wrong things to try and get Crowley to come with him? Um yeah been there done that too, the nerves take over, the brain shuts off, the mouth goes into autopilot pulling stuff out its ass, and "WITAF did I just say?" happens.

Crowley not taking any of it well and only hearing what he expected to hear (I'm not good enough for you bc I'm a demon and you only really want me if I can be an angel) *and* also being more able to see through heavens bullshit bc he has lived it, and can see it from the outside, *and* all whilst being the most honest and vulnerable he has ever been with Aziraphale in 6,000 plus years (or in fact possibly to anyone, ever. the closest before this admitting he was lonely to Azi during the Job minisode,) *then* hearing what he took to be the same Heaven will save us line from Azi was enough to trigger a massive bout of RSD and a broken heart. Everything was supposed to "vavoom and sorted! " and instead the stupid awning broke and everything went wrong. I think I've said it before that at this point Crowley can't hear anything over the sound of his heart breaking into a million pieces.

That's a whole lot to pack into the brief moments before Azi has to leave with the Metatron (who let's be honest was rushing him before he could change his mind) esp when neither of them are used to discussing their relationship openly. They didn't have time to think, to ask questions, to share information, (like hey guess what really happened to Gabriel?) Crowley tried to communicate as much as he could about his feelings with the kiss but Azi didn't have the time to properly process all that and said the wrong thing again and Crowley was rejected (he thought) again and it all just went so very wrong. You can't fix a 6,000 year relationship in 15 minutes, you just can't no matter what the story books say.

It's about two people wanting the same thing but not being able to get it (yet) because of circumstances and personalities. All of S2 was about them seeming to be closer than ever (and in many ways they were) but really they were opposed at almost every turn. (in RL not the minisodes, those actually showed them working together and coming out okay mostly, if you don't count wee Morag or Crowley getting dragged to hell) The way they both handled the Gabriel situation, how they both worked to solve the mystery, even how they tried to make Nina and Maggie fall in love were all either done alone, or in opposite ways. I've said it before and I'll say it again, as it was pointed out right in ep1, their exactlies aren't the same and until they are, they aren't going to be able to be together. The one time they did work together in the season, they produced a 25 lazuri miracle. That is the point of the final 15, and the whole season 2 in my opinion.

They'll get there in the end though!

[buckgasms]

How do we feel about more fluffy Bucky?

Because I'm feeling good about it...

This is also very much inspired by my own insomnia lol...

I had this thought that maybe you stay up late with Bucky some nights because you can't sleep and it's nicer to be awake together than alone right?

And maybe you start talking about ASMR and Bucky is like "wut?" So you explain what it's all about and show him some videos. And I like the idea of sitting tucked into him, watching videos together and it's all cosy and tingly.

So he tries it out for a few days and he LOVES it. He finds some that he likes and he gets all the tingles and feels super relaxed and he actually manages to get a few nights of sleep!

But one night he comes down to the living room all grumpy and dejected. Flopping down on the sofa next to you.

"What's up?" You ask offering him a bit of blanket as you flick through netflix for a film. He groans and rubs a hand over his face.

"I lost my tingles doll."

You can't help but giggle at him as he gets grumpier, stealing more blanket as punishment.

"Hey, quit it! I'm sorry. It does happen, sometimes you need to not watch for a bit, then they come back..."

He huffs and covers your legs again. "I guess. It's just... It was so nice to get some sleep for once."

You sat back for a moment, looking at the tired man in front of you. Then you had an idea.

"What if we tried in for real?"

He gave you a side eye, before turning to look at you properly. "Whaddya mean try it for real?"

You chuckled and sat up a little, already bouncing with excitement. "Like I can do it for you, which ones do you like watching?"

His cheeks flushed a bit and he tried to evade your question but you kept prodding. Finally he relented.

"I kinda like the skincare ones.... And hair brushing I guess... But you don't have to..."

You squealed a little in delight and stood up, grabbing his hand and dragging him to your room without any chance to argue.

"Get into bed and I'll grab some bits. Just get comfy" you instruct and leave him to head to your bathroom to gather everything you need.

Bucky stood in the middle of your room feeling like he was in a dream and that you were, at any moment, going to start laughing at him. He hesitated for a moment but then heard you call, "get into bed Bucky..."

How could you hear his thoughts? He was sure you had a secret power you hadn't disclosed to the rest of the team.

He carefully pulled back your soft duvet and settled his back into plumped up pillows. The sheets smelled fresh but also like you. He felt better already. He was sure if he shared a bed with you every night, he'd sleep just fine.

Before he could think anymore you appeared with a little bag full of bottles and skincare tools and a shy smile on your face. "I'm not sure the best way to do this, but if it gets too weird, then tell me ok..."

He nodded and watched as you popped your bag next to him on the bed, then panicked a little as you climbed on top of him and sat gently on his covered thighs.

"Is this ok?"

He nodded after a moment and exhaled gently. You smiled and broke the tension by taking a deep breath and exhaling out.

"Welcome to Bucky's BFF ASMR, your personalised pamper session to provide as many tingles as humanly possible."

You both giggled as you started your session. He hummed when you started brushing his hair, parting delicate lines and running your fingers gently along each part.

"Damn" he muttered as your fingers gently pulled as his hair, releasing tension from his entire body.

"You feeling ok there?" You whisper as you clip his hair back and give his shoulders a squeeze. He nods, before cracking an eye open to look at you. "You alright?"

You nod enthusiastically and run your hands gently down his arms. You're about to start when he reaches his hands forward and holds onto your hips gently.

"Actually doll, do you mind if I...just hold you there?"

You think your head is going to explode with how much you are very ok with that, but play it as cool as you can and nod. He smiles and closes his eyes again, his fingers squeezing at your hips ever so gently.

You then grab the skin care and quietly explain everything that you are doing. Cleansing his face with cool micellar water, applying a sheet mask and using a little roller to reduce tension in his face and neck.

Once you remove it you apply some moisturiser and notice his breathing has evened out and his hold on your hips has become a little looser. You sit for a minute, watching his handsome face in relaxed mode.

It was so lovely to see him like this, and your seat for the view was pretty great. You pulled the clips gently from his hair and brushed a little strand of hair out of his face. Just one kiss would make it perfect but it would have to wait.

You quietly packed everything away before lifting as gently as you could off the sleeping former assassin without waking him. You slipped under the duvet and clicked off the light before curling up, hoping he would be ok sleeping with you in there.

Your question was answered when be stirred and rolled towards you, wrapping his arms around your waist and pressing a soft kiss to your cheek.

"Thanks Doll...goodnight.."

"Goodnight Bucky..."

[kezzanza]

DON'T STOP CAUSE I'M HALFWAY THERE.

Pairing: Jude x Girlfriend ! Reader Tags: First Time, Established Relationship Word Count: 4.6k Content Warning: Smut, 18+ It's a cold autumn night when you and Jude take your relationship to the next level.

It's September, and late nights in Dortmund are cold, but the living room you're in feels like a warm sanctuary.

Jude's warmth wraps around you as you rest your head on his shoulder. Your legs lie comfortably on the couch, tucked beneath a blanket that offers a warm refuge from the chill. One of his arms cradles you gently. Being inside his embrace makes you feel perfectly at ease.

The flickering images of the opening credits dance across the TV, casting a soft light throughout the room. This moment feels deeply intimate and romantic. It's as if the world outside has faded into insignificance. Leaving only the calmness of the evening you and Jude are sharing.

With your parents out of town, the house is yours for the weekend. They trust you to be responsible, knowing you've never been a troublemaker. As you glance at the time on the clock above the TV, you start to wonder if their trust was misplaced. It's late and you really shouldn't be home alone with your boyfriend. Yet, as you steal a glance at Jude, you can't help but feel that there's nowhere else either of you should be but right here.

Everything about tonight—watching a movie and spending time with Jude—feels like a balm for your soul after an exhausting week at university.

Jude's handsome face glows softly in the light of the screen. You imagine tracing your fingers gently across his perfect features, feeling the contours of his face beneath your touch.

He's dressed in cozy gray sweatpants and a white t-shirt. It's a stark contrast to the football kit you're used to seeing him in. You realize how much you've missed seeing him like this—comfortable and at ease.

There's something heartwarming about seeing him in these simple clothes. It makes the evening feel even more special. Tonight, for both of you, is a needed break from the hectic pace of life.

The movie begins with a busy city street, alive with the morning buzz. The camera zooms in on a charming coffee shop. The barista makes cappuccinos and lattes with pretty patterns on top. The protagonist, a cheerful dreamer, bursts into the café with her enthusiasm lighting up the room.

You know this movie so well that you could recite the lines in your sleep. It's your favorite—a cheesy romantic comedy from the 2000s that has been your comfort during life's overwhelming moments. For you, this film isn't just a story; it's a cherished ritual.

It's even more special because Jude is here, watching your comfort film with you. Your heart swells with affection over the little things—the way you both laugh over silly dialogue, how he playfully rolls his eyes at the more ridiculous scenes, and the intensity with which he focuses on the more serious moments.

The scene on the TV grows more heated, showing the couple entwined on a bed. Their passion is evident in the way their hands move across each other's bodies. A surge of emotion stirs within you at the scene. You find yourself yearning to kiss Jude with an intensity you can hardly ignore.

You steal a quick glance at him, and as if sensing your gaze, he turns toward you. With a knowing smile, Jude sets the popcorn on the side table. His fingers trace delicate patterns on your upper arm, sending tingles through your skin. The space between you feels charged.

"I thought you wanted to watch the movie?" Jude asks, a hint of mischief in his voice.

"Maybe later," you say, your eyes twinkling with a matching playfulness.

The film is your favorite, but it's clear your attention is elsewhere.

Jude leans in closer, his gaze never leaving yours. The silence grows more intense with each passing second. The air is thick with longing. You wanted his lips on yours more than anything else.

Jude's hand that is not wrapped around you reaches out and gently brushes a stray hair from your face. His eyes search yours for permission. When he finds it, he closes the distance between you.

The first kiss is a whisper. Soft and gentle, as if savoring each delicate moment of contact. As your lips respond, the kiss deepens, becoming more consuming. The initial sweetness gives way to a burning passion. Each movement of his lips showing his unspoken desire.

The sound of the film becomes a distant murmur, replaced by the rhythm of your racing heart. His hand glides from your shoulder to the small of your back, pulling you closer.

You'd made out with him before—in the locker room after his games, on the rooftop of his apartment under the moonlight—but never like this, in an empty house where it's just the two of you.

Every touch, every caress, feels like a promise of something more. But just as the kiss reaches its peak, Jude pulls back. You wonder for a fleeting moment if this is the end of the kiss, but you notice the remote in his hand. He pauses the movie, his eyes dark with lust. The movie, once the center of the evening's plan, is completely forgotten as he pulls you onto his lap.

The blanket slips from your legs, pooling softly on the floor. Without its shielding, your body is now fully exposed to him. The soft pink shorts you're wearing, with their delicate silk fabric, hug your hips snugly. Your white tank top clings to your body, the fabric molding to your curves.

Every movement feels intensified as you feel his body against yours. The warmth of his touch contrasts with the coolness of the room. You feel the solid strength of his body beneath you as you wrap your arms around his shoulders.

His muscular thighs are firm and warm. The fabric of his sweatpants is soft against the bare skin of your legs. The thought that only a few millimeters of cloth separates his skin from yours makes your pulse quicken.

Jude's touch was gentle yet confident. His hands explore your body with a firmness that makes your pulse quicken. His eyes, once reflecting the soft glow of the screen, are now burning into yours. The arousal you've been trying to ignore all evening unleashes the second you look at him.

Grabbing the hem of your tank top, he pulls it over your head, leaving you in just a bra and your tiny shorts. He slides his hands up the smooth skin of your waist. His touch sends waves of heat through you, leaving you gasping for more.

"Jude, wait," you breathe, your voice a mix of desire and uncertainty as his fingers trace lazy circles on your hips.

The most you had done with Jude—and any other boyfriend for that matter—was make out. You didn't have a lot of experience and you didn't know if you were ready. Jude pauses, his hand hovering just above your skin, waiting for you to continue.

"What is it?" he whispers, his voice thick with longing, but also concern.

You bite your lip, trying to gather your thoughts. "I want you but ... I'm scared," you confess, your heart pounding in your chest.

His expression softens as he wraps his arm securely around your waist. "Baby, look at me," he says gently, tilting your chin up so your eyes meet. "We don't have to do anything you're not ready for."

You take a deep breath as his words settle around you like a warm embrace. "But I want to and ... I trust you," you whisper, feeling the tension ease from your body.

"We won't go all the way tonight, love," Jude murmurs, his voice a soothing caress. "But I want to make you feel good."

He smiles tenderly, his lips brushing against yours in a delicate kiss. The warmth of his touch, so tender and reassuring, melts away your fears.

In his gaze, you find an unspoken promise. With it, the trust you have in him soothes the worries within you. His arms tighten around your waist as he leans in. The kiss is fierce and hungry. Your heart races as his hands explore the curves of your body, sending shivers down your spine. You become lost in the intensity of the moment. Your fingers tangle in his soft, short, curly hair.

It feels wrong to be doing this in the house your parents entrusted to you. But you've both danced around the boundaries of your physical affection for too long. Tonight would be different, marking a turning point in your relationship.

In the heat of the moment, his thigh pressed between yours, brushing against your core through the thin fabric of your shorts. A jolt of electricity shot through you, making you moan into his mouth. He pulled back slightly, his eyes questioning, dark with a mix of curiosity and desire.

Jude's eyes flick down to where his thigh is pressing between your legs, then back up to your face. A knowing smile played at the corners of his lips. He shifted his thigh upwards. The pressure and pleasure increases and your breath hitches.

"You like that?" His voice was a whisper, a tease that sent a warm shiver down your spine.

The fabric of your panties grows wetter with your arousal, a silent confession to the heat building between you. You nodded, biting your lower lip, unsure how to proceed but unable to stop the wave of arousal that was building inside you.

"Touch me," you plead, your voice barely above a whisper.

He kisses you then, a slow kiss that speaks of all the passion and tenderness he had for you. His tongue tangles with yours, igniting a fire within you that burns hotter with each passing second.

As the kiss deepens, his hand moves from your waist to your bare thigh. His fingers slip beneath the hem of your shorts. You gasp into his mouth. Your body trembles with need as his fingers dance higher, inching closer to the heat between your legs.

"Jude," you moan, hips instinctively pressing towards his hand, begging for more.

"Are you sure, baby?" he asks. His voice is strained with the effort to hold back, but ensuring you were comfortable was more important to him. "Want me to make you feel good?"

"Please, Jude," you breathe, your voice filled with determination.

Jude lifts you off the couch effortlessly. Your legs instinctively wrap around his waist as you let out a soft, surprised sound at suddenly being airborne. His strong arms encircle you, pulling you close to his chest. You feel his warmth seep through into your bare skin as he carries you out of the dark living room and into the well-lit hallway.

"Jude, what are you doing?" you say, looking up at him. Huffing out a laugh at his spontaneous actions.

"Taking you somewhere," he replies with a mischievous smile.

The stairs creak softly under his weight.

You feel the reassuring thud of his heartbeat, a steady tempo that calms your own racing heart. As he ascends the stairs, you find yourself relaxing into his embrace, your head resting against his shoulder. He pauses at the top, giving you a tender look before continuing down the hallway to your bedroom.

He enters and you're met with the darkness of your bedroom, the only light coming from the faint light of the hallway. Inside, Jude carefully lowers you on your plush mattress. The bed dips slightly under your weight and you sink into the soft, inviting comfort.

With a soft click, Jude switches on the bedside lamp. Its warm, golden light gently spills across the room, illuminating the space with an intimate glow.

He takes off his shirt, leaving his muscled torso on display, then kneels between your legs on the bed. Gently, he pushes your legs and brings them up to your chest. His touch is careful and affectionate. With brown eyes filled with affection, he looks at you and brushes your hair away from your face.

Jude leans in, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. His lips lingering for a moment as if to savor the connection. The soft light wraps around you both as you share this tender moment. In his presence, everything else fades away, leaving just the two of you, entwined in each other's embrace.

Jude's eyes never leave yours as he reaches for the hem of your shorts. His touch is tender as he begins to peel them away, revealing your bare skin to the cool night air. He drops the pink fabric to the floor and runs his fingers up and down your thigh. You watch as his gaze traces the path of his fingertips, his eyes dark with a mix of passion and admiration.

The sensation of his touch sends shivers down your spine. His hand lingers for a moment, as if memorizing the contours of your thigh before it travels up to rest on your waist. You hold your breath, unsure of what's to come, but knowing that with Jude, it will be nothing short of perfect.

Jude looked at you with eyes that seemed to hold the warmth of a thousand sunsets. His hands, gentle yet firm, reached around your back as he unhooked your bra with a touch so deft it was as if he had done it a hundred times before.

As he pulls the garment off you, the cool air whispers against your skin, leaving you feeling both exposed and incredibly alive. In his expression, you saw a mix of admiration and desire that made your heart flutter like a caged bird being set free.

He takes a moment to appreciate the sight before him. His gaze lingering on the soft mounds of your breasts. Then, Jude's palms meet the tender flesh. His thumbs circle the skin before gently taking your nipples between his forefingers and thumbs. He rolls them softly, watching as they respond to his touch, becoming taut and sensitive as a soft moan escapes your lips.

"You're so beautiful," he whispers, his voice low and husky, filled with sincerity and adoration.

The words hang in the air, a tangible weight that presses against your chest. You meet his gaze, your heart pounding in sync with the rhythm of his breath.

Your voice is a soft whisper as you reply, "I need you, Jude." His name lingers on your lips, a silent invitation.

His brown eyes are filled with a hunger that mirrors your own. You hold his stare, letting him see the truth in your eyes. The air is thick with anticipation, and every beat of your heart feels like it's echoing through the room.

Jude's eyes darken with desire as he traces the waistband of your white panties—the only clothing left on you—with his fingertips. His fingers move over the soft fabric, stopping when they feel the dampness that has gathered between your thighs.

"You're so wet for me," he says possessively, making you moan.

He hooks his thumbs under the fabric and begins to slide them down your thighs. His gaze never leaves yours as the material glides over your skin. A soft, needy whine escapes your lips—you had never been this turned on in your life.

Your underwear is pulled off you, leaving you completely exposed to his gaze. Jude's eyes fixate on the prize that lay before him, caressing your most intimate parts with a hunger that was almost tangible. The heat of his stare is enough to make you quiver. Your legs part involuntarily, a little wider to give him a better view.

His hands glide up your thighs, petting the sensitive skin. Sliding up the smooth skin of your legs before hovering above your exposed flesh. You bite your lip with nervous excitement.

A smirk plays at the corner of his lips, the kind that makes your heart race and your breath hitch. His touch is feather-light, a whisper of a promise, as his fingers dance closer to the place where you crave him the most. The anticipation is exquisite, a sweet torture that has your body arching towards him, begging for more.

"Do you want me to touch you here?" he teases, sending shivers down your spine.

His gaze searches yours for permission. The question hangs in the air. Your eyes lock on his, you nod, a silent plea for the contact you both knew you needed.

"Say it, baby," he demands. "Tell me how much you want me to touch you."

With a quiver in your voice, you whisper, "I want it more than anything, Jude."

The admission seemed to charge the air around you, sparking a fire in Jude's eyes that sent an intense wave of heat through your body.

His hand hovers for a moment longer. The anticipation, a sweet agony that made your skin ache for his touch. Then, with a gentle yet firm pressure, his thumb grazes the sensitive spot of your clit, sending a jolt of pleasure through your core.

You gasp softly as his gaze holds yours. His hand moves with purpose, sliding on the wet aching center of your core slowly. Your eyes flutter as you moan desperately. Your body arching in response to his touch.

You close your eyes, letting the sensation wash over you. It felt so good, so forbidden, yet you couldn't bring yourself to ask him to stop. Instead, you roll your hips, pressing yourself closer to his touch, silently begging for more.

"Jude," you whisper, your voice barely audible above the sound of your heavy breathing. "More."

His movements become more deliberate. Each stroke of his finger against your sensitive spot sends waves of pleasure coursing through your body. You moan softly. With your mind beginning to blur, you focus only on the feel of his touch, the warmth of his body against yours.

Jude lowers his head, capturing your lips once more in a possessive kiss. His free hand rests beside your head. Your hand grips his strong bicep for support. The pleasure is intense, pushing you closer to the edge with each passing moment.

His fingers, now slick with your arousal, move with renewed vigor against your clit. Each stroke is a symphony of pleasure, building upon the last, until your body tightens like a coil about to spring. Suddenly, the crescendo of sensation crashes over you. Your orgasm rolls through your body like a tidal wave.

Your back arches off the bed. Your grip on his arm tightens as the spasms of pleasure overtake you. Your eyes squeeze shut as the pulsations grow stronger. Your breaths come out in ragged gasps as your hips rock against his fingers.

A long shudder runs through you as you ride out the waves of pleasure, moaning his name into his mouth. You cling to him, your face buried in the crook of his neck as you try to catch your breath.

When you finally look up, his eyes are fixed on you, a mixture of awe and satisfaction reflected in their depths. You pant softly, still recovering from the intensity of the experience.

As the orgasm subsides, Jude's voice breaks through the haze of pleasure. "You're so beautiful when you cum." His words are a gentle caress, soothing your overstimulated senses.

And just when you think you can't possibly take any more, he starts to kiss you, his lips soft and tender as he tastes the salt of your skin. You kiss back, still too overwhelmed to speak. Wrapping your arms around his shoulders, you pull his body closer to yours. His hips press into you as he lays on top of you. You feel his hardness against your thigh, a stark reminder of his own needs.

With the intensity of the moment still palpable in the air, you decide to take things to the next level. You roll the two of you over until Jude's back is on the bed. You sit up and straddle his thighs. With your eyes locked onto his, you grind your ass over the hard length in his sweatpants.

Jude's eyes become half-lidded as he takes in the sight of you. He lets out a low groan, his hands instinctively gripping your waist as you begin to move in a slow rhythm. His breath grows ragged, matching the tempo of your hips.

"You're so fucking good at that," he groans, his hands tightening around you. His eyes burn with a possessive hunger as he watches the sway of your body.

Your heart races as you realize the power you hold in this moment, the power to give him pleasure, to make him groan your name. Leaning forward, you kiss him again, this time with a newfound confidence.

Your breasts press against Jude's clothed chest. His hunger for you is palpable, and it fuels your actions. Your hand reaches down, gripping him through his sweatpants, squeezing gently, as he curses into your mouth. With the heat of his arousal between your fingers, you feel his pulse in your hand through his gray sweatpants. He feels huge even without seeing his erection.

Jude's eyes bore into yours with a fiery intensity that sent a shiver down your spine. With an eager hunger, you slide down Jude's body, your kisses trailing from his mouth to his chest to his happy trail. You lower yourself until your face is eye level with his hips. For a moment, you're not quite sure if you have the confidence to continue.

"Take it out, baby," he commands, sensing your trepidation.

The heat in the room seems to spike as you feel the weight of his words. Suspense is heavy in the air. Your heart races as you obey his instruction. A lustful eagerness building inside you with every passing second.

His eyes, full of demand, pierce into yours as you slowly pull down the waistband of his sweatpants and briefs. His erection springs free, thick and tall. The sight of it makes you ache with want. Jude's eyes never leave yours as you take him in your hand.

"Suck," he says, his voice low, leaving no room for hesitation.

Jude's dominant demeanor washes over you like a wave of heat. You feel a mix of arousal and submission as you follow his command. His hand lands gently on the back of your head, guiding you closer to his length.

You lean down, your lips brushing against the hot skin of his shaft. He curses as your mouth meets his erection. His grip in your hair tightens as you begin to kiss his tip softly, sending pin-pricks of pleasure and pain across your scalp.

His manhood grazes your lips and you part them eagerly, allowing him to slide in. His groans fill the room as you savor the taste of his arousal. Jude fills you completely, stretching your lips. He moans lowly, a sound that sends a thrill down your spine and tells you that you're doing exactly what he wants.

With a gentle suck, you begin to take him deeper, feeling the softness of his skin give way to the firmness beneath. It's wet, messy and also incredibly intimate. You can feel his heartbeat through his shaft, thumping in rhythm with your own. The wetness spreads, coating your lips and fingers, making everything slick.

He groans, his hand on the back of your head guiding you to take him deeper. You obey, working against your gag reflex. Your eyes water as you try to accommodate his huge length. It slides to the back of your throat and makes you gag before he pulls your head up. Your inexperience shows, but the passion in your eyes tells him you're eager to learn, eager to make him feel good.

You moan around him, the vibration sending waves of pleasure through his body. He tastes salty and slightly bitter, a taste that only fuels your desire to serve him. He whispers your name, a rough command that sends a shiver through your body. You respond by sucking harder.

His grip on your hair becomes more forceful. His groans grow louder, his breaths quicker, and you can feel his thighs tensing around your face.

You look up at him through teary eyes, watching the pleasure marked across his chiseled face. His hand guides your movements, setting a rhythm that you struggle to match. You're determined to make him feel good, even as your jaw starts to ache and your gag reflex flutters. Each time he hits the back of your throat, you fight the urge to pull away, focusing instead on the way his fingers tense in your hair.

"That's it," Jude murmurs, his voice thick with lust. "You're doing so good." The way he says it sends a shiver down your spine, making you feel both vulnerable and powerful.

You can feel the tension coiling in his body as he nears climax. The thought of making him come sends a thrill through your own body. You want to do this for him. To show him that you're willing to explore these new, intimate territories together. You keep going, your eyes watering, your cheeks hollowed out, trying to ignore the way your throat burns.

His breathing grows ragged, his hips buck upward, and you know you're getting closer to what he wants.

You look up at him, eyes wide and questioning, seeking reassurance. He meets your gaze, a smoldering heat in his own eyes.

"Keep going," he commands, his grip in your hair tightening slightly.

You take him all the way in, your nose pressing against his pelvis. His breathing becomes ragged, his abs clenching with each deep thrust. The room is filled with the wet sounds of your mouth working his shaft as he hits the back of your throat.

And then, just when you think you can't handle anymore, he comes. You're unprepared for the hot rush of his release. But you keep going, eager to swallow every drop, to show him that you're willing to be everything he desires. It doesn't matter that the taste is foreign, a little salty, and a little bitter.

You watch him, your own heart still racing. Jude's eyes are closed, his chest heaving with deep, ragged breaths. He opens them to meet your gaze, and the love and adoration in his expression sends a warm rush through your body.

"I love you," he whispers, his voice hoarse from passion.

Your heart skips a beat, and you can't help but smile as he pulls you up to him to kiss you, tasting himself on your lips. The kiss is tender and lingering, filled with the promise of more moments like this to come.

You gently pull away from the kiss, your eyes lingering on him with a tender smile. "I love you, too," you whisper, your voice soft and filled with affection.

He pulls you into a warm embrace, your bodies tangled together on the bed. You feel his heartbeat slow to a steady rhythm against your chest, and you can't help but feel a sense of accomplishment.

This was your first time performing oral sex, and from the sounds of it, you did pretty well. You snuggle closer to him, enjoying the feeling of his skin against yours, and let out a contented sigh as his arms tighten around you.

The room is filled with the scent of sex and love, and you realize that this is what you've been craving all along—this intimate connection that goes beyond words.

His hand rests on your back, stroking gently as you both drift into a peaceful silence. It's a moment of pure contentment, a moment that feels like it could last forever. 

As you lay there, basking in the afterglow, you can't help but think about how far you've come in your relationship. From shy glances and stolen kisses to this raw passion, you know that you've found something special with Jude. And still, there are many more experiences waiting for the two of you to explore.

[skywalkerrenthusiast]

FOREVER THINKING ABOUT HELAENA AND THE SWORM OF SHIT HOT TAKES THAT ARE ABOUT TO COME OUT ABOUT HER‼️‼️‼️

FOREVER THINKING ABOUT HELAENA AND IM CRYING IM CRYING IM CRYING. She and an innocent child were the first to pay for her families crimes. And she's not as bad as some of yall will think after this.

We are meant to sit with Helaena. she has this thing called dragon dreams, which are visions of the future, but they can be very unclear and hard to figure out.

She was saying how she was afraid of the rats. In the morning, when Aegon came for Jae, she muttered a vision. She could already feel the doom creeping in, it's why she tries to share her feelings with Aegon! But he can't understand, no one can. Not even her. And she's left to sit in her feeling of doom.

Alone.

Then BOOM

Two betrayers (rats) came to kill Aemond who killed Lucerys. But instead, they decided to kill HER son, just a boy!

And she tried to be present at first! To protect her babies. To give them money because they kept talking about themselves getting paid for a kill but the motherfuckers wouldn't BUDGE!!

And you can just SEE the moment the trauma and fear of the moment starts to hit her. A thousand thoughts fly through her head, and then...? she completely shuts down. She ends up pointing to her son, but she just seems so out of it while she's doing so! She doesn't scream or cry or beg. She just looks like a mix of completely not in the moment, as if shes leaving the moment, and viscerally horrified at the same time. She sees them grabbing her boy and can only stare as she makes her way to the opposite bed. Knowing of and yet *unable* to make herself try and stop the tragedy that is about to unfold itself in her boys bed.

She grabs her girl and just walks out of the room, and you can hear her breathing and breathing as she walks. And just as she starts to come back to herself, just a little. You can hear the sound of the Jaehaerys head being cut off and you can *tell* she hears it too because she makes these vague horrified little sounds as she walks and walks and walks endlessly to her MOTHERS room. It's almost like those sounds drag her back under. And she keeps walking.

she never yelled for a guard as she walked, she didn't scream she just went to the safest place she could think of. And that was with her mother. She walks in the room and walks in on her mom in bed with her sworn protector and that brings her back from out of the waves of her mind if only for a moment but she's just in so much fucking shock that all she can do is collapse on the floor while holding her girl and say "they killed the boy"

And it all happens so fast! And in the moment, all I could think was, WHY DID SHE POINT TO HIM?!! But for *this* telling of the story, it made sense. She shut down. In her right state of mind, she would NEVER have simply pointed, she tried not to! but she just completely shuts down, just blocks it all out and then POINTS. And that scene, that moment, it's not about what the stronger or braver or more motherly choice might've been! Because Helaena was in no state to make it! She just couldn't have! And it's so heartbreaking. At that moment, the camera only follows her because we are meant to *BE* her. We are meant to sit with her in that moment in time. To share in her horror. So it's not about what we think the right choice might've been. It's about what helaena was *capable* of doing in that moment, in the face of her horror, about how this is a moment she will have to think back on for as long as she shall live.

because i know she's gonna be so fucking horrified with herself when it all comes back to her, when she truly understands what happened. And I also know we are about to get SO many trash hot takes about Her "being a bad mother" and how she just "betrayed her son" as if she didn't have those kids at 13 and they were her LIFE! I'm crying for her. The twins were so little, and she was no fighter or schemer, and yet her son, her and even her daughter are the FIRST fucking ones to pay for her families crimes!

She'll live in that moment of horror for the rest of her life.

[peavhyshy]

𝗠𝗢𝗥𝗘 𝗧𝗛𝗔𝗡 𝗙𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗡𝗗𝗦 (oneshot)

Pairing: Sarah Cameron x Reader

Summary: In which you and Sarah share a secret kiss while hanging out alone in your room, complicating both of your relationships with John B.

Warnings: sarah cheats on john b with reader, explicit language, fluff, smut, secret relationship, friends to lovers, this set after ward blew himself up, emotional hurt/comfort, fluff, fingering, oral sex, grinding/tribbing, nipple play

Words: 2,617 

a/n: guys is it bad to sleep with your best friend when your boyfriend is being a douche and didn't comfort you after you watched your dad die? but seriously there needs to be more sarah fics on here, y'all sleeping on her

((not proofread because i'm lazy and rereading stuff I write makes me cringe for some reason))

Outer Banks Masterlist | Main Masterlist

The sun had just set over OBX, casting an orange glow across the sandy beaches. Inside the your families beach house, Sarah lay sprawled across your bed, half-watching some cheesy rom-com on the little TV in your room.

"Ugh, I can't watch this anymore," Sarah groaned, grabbing the remote and flicking through channels aimlessly. She was grateful for you trying to cheer her up after the traumatic events of the past few days, but she just wasn't in the mood for happy endings right now.

You glanced over from where you sat braiding friendship bracelets on the floor. "Yeah, I'm not really feeling it either," you said with a sympathetic smile. You tied off the bracelet and scooted up onto the bed next to Sarah.

Sarah clicked off the TV and flopped back onto the pile of pillows with a dramatic sigh. "I just keep replaying it all in my head, you know? Like maybe if I had done something differently…" Her voice trailed off as she stared up at the ceiling fan swirling above you guys.

You reached over and gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "It's not your fault, Sarah. There's nothing you could have done."

Sarah turned her head to look at you, her brown eyes glistening. In the soft glow of the bedside lamp, You looked so beautiful and comforting that Sarah suddenly felt the urge to kiss you. Before she could talk herself out of it, she leaned in and pressed her lips to yours.

Your eyes went wide in surprise before slowly closing as you kissed Sarah back tentatively. After a few seconds, you broke apart, blushing wildly.

"Um, wow," you breathed, biting your lip. "So that just happened."

Sarah let out a nervous laugh. "Yeah, sorry, I guess I'm just feeling extra emotional and impulsive tonight. I've always thought you were really pretty though." She grinned sheepishly.

You laughed and playfully hit Sarah with a pillow. "Oh so that's how it is, huh? Taking advantage of me in my own bedroom?"

Sarah dramatically flipped her hair. "I mean, can you blame me? Have you seen this hair?"

You both dissolved into giggles, the tension instantly broken. No matter what else was going on in your lives, you always had each other. And maybe this was the beginning of something more.

“What about John B?” you asked, putting the bracelet on Sarah’s hand.

Sarah sighed, twisting the new bracelet around her wrist. "John B…I don't know. He's been so caught up in everything with his dad and the gold, it's like he doesn't even see me anymore. I miss how things used to be between us."

She looked up at you. "But then there's this…" she gestured between you guys. "This connection we have. I've never felt this way about another girl before."

You nodded, a worried crease forming between your brows. "I know what you mean. I care about John B, but I also care about you." you bit your lip. "Maybe we should keep this between us for now? At least until we figure things out.”

Sarah considered it for a moment then nodded slowly. “Yeah, you’re probably right. No need to complicate things even more.” She linked her pinky with yours. “This can be our little secret.”

You smiled, hooking your pinky with Sarah’s. “Our secret,” you repeated.

Sarah leaned in conspiratorially. “So should we pick up where we left off before we were so rudely interrupted by your question?” you teased.

You giggled and closed the distance once more, your lips meeting in a soft, tentative kiss.

Sarah lifts your shirt over your head, exposing your bare chest. She runs her hands up your sides, caressing your soft skin as she kisses down your neck. You let out a soft gasp, tangling your fingers in Sarah's blonde hair.

"Sarah…" you breathe out, your heart pounding as Sarah's hands continue to explore your body. You feel a growing heat between your legs, this new intimacy with Sarah awakening desires you never knew you had. Sarah kisses lower, trailing her lips down your collarbone, then takes a hard nipple into her mouth. You moan, arching your back off the bed at the sensation.

Sarah lifts her head to look into your eyes, her own darkened with lust. She reaches behind you to unclasp your bra, then tosses it aside. Sarah sits back on her knees to admire your naked form, a smirk playing on her kiss-swollen lips.

"You're so fucking beautiful," she says throatily before leaning down to capture your lips once more. As your tongues meet, Sarah reaches down to undo the button on your shorts, her hand slipping beneath the waistband. You gasp into Sarah's mouth at the intimate touch, your hips bucking involuntarily. You never felt more alive than in this moment with Sarah, every nerve-ending tingling with anticipation.

Sarah's fingers dip lower, finding slick heat that makes you cry out. She strokes slowly at first, learning what makes you whimper and moan.

As Sarah's fingers work between your legs, you feel pleasure building within your core. Your breathing comes faster, soft moans escaping with each circular stroke of Sarah's fingers over your slick, swollen clit. Your hips rock uncontrollably, pushing yourself against Sarah's hand as your arousal grows.

Sarah watches your face, taking in every flutter of your eyelids, every gasp and whimper. She slides two fingers lower, teasing your entrance before pushing them inside. You cry out at the penetration, panting Sarah's name over and over. Sarah thrusts her fingers slowly at first, then faster as your inner walls clench tight around them.

The coil of tension in your belly winds tighter and tighter until suddenly it snaps, your orgasm crashing over you in waves of euphoria. Your back arches off the bed, a string of curses and Sarah's name on your lips as you come undone.

Sarah pulls back slightly to look into your eyes, her own bright with exhilaration and desire. She runs her fingers through your tousled hair and grins, trailing her hand down your body. She slips her fingers beneath the waistband of your shorts again, raising an eyebrow in question.

You bit your lip and nodded, lifting your hips so Sarah can slide your shorts and underwear off. Sarah tosses them aside, then settles between your parted thighs, kissing a path up your inner leg. You shiver in anticipation, propping yourself up on your elbows to watch. When Sarah's mouth finally finds your pussy, you gasp, your head falling back against the pillows.

Sarah hums in satisfaction at your reaction, the vibration sending sparks of pleasure through you. She uses her tongue to explore your slick folds, quickly finding the sensitive bundle of nerves that makes you cry out and clutch at the sheets. Sarah focuses her attention there, alternating between broad laps of her tongue and tight circles around your clit.

Your soon panting and writhing beneath her. "Oh god, Sarah…feels so good…" you moan. The coil of tension winds tight once more until you shatter again with a sharp cry, your thighs clamping around Sarah's head as you come. Sarah works you through it with soft licks, not stopping until you go limp with satisfaction.

Your moans fill the room as straddles you and slips off her underwear, your bodies coming together in a tantalizing display of desire. The slickness of your wetness creates friction that sends shivers of pleasure through both of you. Sarah's core radiates heat, igniting a fire within you that can't be quenched.

Your hands greedily explore Sarah's sides, eager to feel every inch of her. You grab onto Sarah's ass, pulling her closer, urging her to grind harder against your throbbing clit. Sarah leans down, capturing your lips in a searing kiss that leaves you both breathless. Your tongues dance and entwine, a passionate tango of desire. The taste of your shared arousal fill your mouths, fueling your hunger for each other.

Your hips move in perfect harmony, each thrust bringing you closer to the edge. Sarah's grinding against your clit, your clits rubbing together in a rhythm that drives you both wild. The wetness between your legs acts as a lubricant, allowing your movements to become even more intense, more intimate.

You arch your back, offering your breasts to Sarah's hungry mouth. Sarah eagerly takes the invitation, capturing a nipple between her lips, sucking and nipping at the sensitive flesh. The sensation shoots electric sparks of pleasure straight to your core.

With one final, powerful thrust, Sarah's body shudders with pleasure. She cries out, her climax washing over her in a wave of bliss that crashes through her entire being. Her walls clench around nothing but the air, her core pulsating with every release.

Your own release follows closely behind, your body convulsing in waves of pleasure. The intense sensations ripple through you, causing you to grip onto Sarah tightly, your bodies pressed together in an intimate embrace. You both ride out the waves of your orgasms together, matching each other's moans and gasps.

When you finally break apart your both are flushed and beaming. Sarah's fingers gently stroke your face as you kiss languidly, softly.

"Was that okay?" Sarah asks after a moment, suddenly shy.

You smile, pulling Sarah down for another lingering kiss. "More than okay," you assure her. Sarah grins, nuzzling into your neck.

Sarah smiles contentedly and lays her head on on your chest, listening to the steady rhythm of your heartbeat as it returns to normal. She feels a sense of peace and belonging that she hasn't felt in a long time. Here with you, away from the chaos and tragedy of the outside world, Sarah can simply be. No expectations, no pretending - just two souls connecting on the most intimate level.

Sarah traces lazy circles on your bare stomach as you lay entwined. She thinks about how rapidly her feelings have shifted - from seeing you only as a friend, to suddenly being unable to resist her. It feels natural though, not scary or confusing like her past crushes on boys. With you it just feels…right.

Eventually your lips find each other again, the kisses growing heated once more. You roll yourselves over so you're the one on top, straddling Sarah's hips. You look down at Sarah with hungry eyes as you slowly grind against her. Sarah gasps at the delicious friction, gripping your hips.

"Now it's my turn," you say in a low voice that sends a jolt of arousal straight between Sarah's legs. You reach down and tugs at the hem of Sarah's shirt. "Take this off."

Sarah complies, pulling her shirt up over her head and tossing it aside. You make quick work of her bra too until Sarah is laid bare before her. Your admiring gaze roams over Sarah's body, making her shiver with anticipation, you capture one of Sarah's nipples between your lips.

Sarah cries out, arching up into your warm mouth. As you lavishes attention on her breasts, Sarah is reduced to a writhing, moaning mess beneath your ministrations. This is even better than she imagined as she lets you take full control. 

You kiss your way down Sarah's trembling body until your mouth replaces your fingers between Sarah's legs. Sarah closes her eyes, crying out your name as a slick tongue explores her slick folds. She reaches down to tangle her fingers in your hair, urgent moans spilling from her lips.

"Y/N, I'm close…" she pants out. The coil of tension winding tighter and tighter within her finally snaps as she comes undone under your tongue.

You take Sarah into your arms. You exchange soft, languid kisses as Sarah catches her breath.

"Wow…" is all Sarah can say, still reeling.

You grin, kissing the tip of her nose. "I'd say we're pretty good at this secret relationship thing so far."

Sarah laughs. "I'd say so too. But we should probably keep practicing, just to be sure." She wiggles her eyebrows suggestively.

You smirk, pulling Sarah in for another deep kiss. "I like the way you think."

Your lips meet again, both of you giddy with the exciting newness of exploring each other. For now, you’re content to stay lost in your little bubble of bliss, putting your troubles aside for a stolen moment of passion and release.

Sarah sighs contentedly, her body still tingling from her intimacy with you. She strokes your hair softly as you lie tangled together on the bed.

After a few peaceful moments, Sarah props herself up on one elbow to look down at you. "Not that I want this to end, but won't your parents be back soon?" she asks.

You glance at the clock on your nightstand and grimaces. "Yeah, probably. As much as I'd love to keep going…" You trail a hand suggestively down Sarah's side.

Sarah shivers at your touch. "Later," she promises with a grin. She gives you one last lingering kiss before reluctantly climbing off the bed to gather her scattered clothes.

As Sarah gets dressed, you sit up and wrap the blanket around yourself. You watch Sarah wistfully, not quite ready to burst this intimate bubble you’ve created. But the approaching sound of a boat motor outside makes the decision for you.

"Coming?" Sarah asks from the bedroom doorway, now fully dressed. Her cheeks are still flushed, lips swollen from kisses.

You sigh. "Yeah, be right there." As Sarah disappears down the hall, you take a moment to collect yourself. You press her fingers to your lips, Sarah's taste still lingering. Your heart flutters thinking about what just transpired between you too.

With a giddy smile, you get up to get dressed. You rejoin Sarah in the living room just as the front door opens and your parents walk in, loaded down with gear from their fishing trip. If they notice your matching blushes and shy glances, they don't say anything.

"Are you staying for dinner, Sarah?" your mom asks as she heads for the kitchen. "I'll throw some fish on the grill."

Sarah catches your eye, an impish look on her face. "I'd love to," she says sweetly. Under the table, she squeezes your hand, your secret.

The you too sat close together on the worn couch in your living room after dinner, shoulders touching. Your parents had retreated outside to the back deck, giving you some privacy. Sarah turned to you, looking into your eyes. She still couldn't believe what had transpired between you too earlier that evening.

"So…that happened," Sarah said with a small smile, cheeks flushing pink.

You nodded, biting your lip. You reached over and gave Sarah's hand a gentle squeeze. "It did. And as crazy as it sounds, it felt…right."

Sarah let out a soft laugh, interlacing your fingers. "I know, I feel the same way! I mean, I never expected this, but being with you just feels so natural."

She glanced down bashfully. "I know things with John B are complicated right now. But he's been pulling away, and you've been there for me. You make me feel safe and happy even during the worst moments."

You lifted Sarah's hand to your lips, kissing it softly. "You deserve to feel safe and happy, Sarah. I'll always be here for you, no matter what happens with John B. And if this-" you gestured between you too "-is something you want to explore, I'm open to it."

Sarah's heart swelled with affection. She leaned in and captured your lips in a sweet, lingering kiss.

"Then let's explore," she murmured against your mouth. You smiled into the kiss, twining your arms around Sarah's neck to pull her closer. 

[vegasandhishedgehog]

Okay here I come with thoughts that I'm not sure many people will be on board with, but I'm gonna share anyway because who cares! Wandee Goodday is doing a fantastic job selling characters who are ridiulous, and many of them are charming. I'm gonna talk about the guy who isn't. Charming that is.

I Think Ter Is In The Closet

And I'm only using bits from episode 4 to demonstrate this. Sorry if you need more to be convinced.

Ter is a strange character because we meet him through Wandee, when he's still up on a pedestal. That image almost immediately gets crumpled and tossed into oncoming traffic to be flattened in a rubbery, Bangkok traffic death. Dee confesses his feelings and Ter insists he's straight. He's straight. He's straight! He likes women, not men. Sorry. To make matters worse, he pulls the asshole move of just asking Dee to leave the scholarship to him.

These men have known each other for eight years. Eight fucking years and this is where things are going? If we know how much of a disaster Dee is, then it really makes me wonder what disaster side of himself Ter has (aside from what we know).

(thinking them gaaayyy thoughts) (also this weirdo doesn't listen to music while working out? no wonder he's the devil)

Ter is recalling the moment when Yak came into the hospital with flowers for Dee, called him tee-rak, and the two of them are looking at each other like. Like That.

Super normal for a hetero dude to focus on that part of his long-term colleague's life. And if he were a huge homophobe, I could understand it being a possible upset, but then he wouldn't be so close to Dee if that were the case. This is Golf Tanwarin we're being led by here.

Our Devil Doctor is pulled out of his train of thought by the appearance of a shirtless Plakao

Guys, I won't lie to you, I yelled NO aloud because for a second I thought he was going to have his come to Jesus with our favorite asexual king, and as an asexual who worships Plakao and how amazing he is, I just wasn't gonna have it!

And the first thing Ter notices? Kao is alone - specifically, he isn't accompanied as usual by his bestie Wandee. So Ter immediately interrupts his workout to question him. Kao responds that Dee's with his boyfriend now, which prompts more questioning about their relationship from Ter.

Yeah, Ter. What's it matter to you?

You turned Wandee away because you're straight. So, obviously that's a no, right? Right?

Not addressing that then. Okay. We'll just hit the skip button for that dialogue option, I guess.

As a tenured colleague and friend, that would be the natural reaction to this. Kao is a wise, wise man, and like many an asexual, he has done the work of figuring himself out while living in an allonormative world (while also recognizing he likes men! I cannot stress enough how beautifully nuanced his okay). From what he understands (and is stating for Ter to ponder), is that this would make sense for someone who doesn't harbor any other kinds of feelings toward Dee and until recently, has been on good terms with him.

But Ter doesn't get to ponder because he gets called away and immediately forced to face Dee happily walking hand in hand with Yak. It's awkward. Dee excuses himself and Yak. And then Ter's eyes foooolloooww.....

And later he gets back to his room with the number of the beast and fondly recalls when Dee used to leave snacks on his door....

(crowd goes awww)

But this guy can't help but notice while he's doing an evening workout -

Hey! There are Dee and Yak again! Being all cute in the pool! It's too coincidental! (He had not considered that his colleague works at the same place and has a similar schedule, therefore all this appropriately timed boyfriendism could only happen within that schedule)

So he has to conclude that it isn't real.

Little does Ter know that it was originally intended for YakDee to be fake boyfriends; that he'd stumbled upon the truth immediately. What he wasn't expecting was for Dee to double down not only to not be caught plotting like that, but because he's way further into his feelings for Yak than he is fully aware of.

I cannot stress how interesting it is so see this man be so obsessed over their relationship. Anyone who would call themselves a close friend or colleague would simply be happy for Dee, maybe warn him about some people who are less accepting if that were an issue, and then continue focusing on whatever it is he's doing for the scholarship. And maybe he does focus on the scholarship - we aren't shown his side of it because it's not important - but if that's true and his secondary focus is theorizing that Dee's relationship is fake? TER? WORSTIE?????

And then this happens!

Now I've seen a lot of people taking this as manipulation and I'm not going to call them wrong. It is exactly that. But I think he's also seeing if maybe he missed a chance? It wasn't that long ago that Dee was reminiscing about the past eight years together and Ter had decided the scholarship was more important than pursuing whatever thing they had between each other. Ter is realizing he doesn't want to throw either of them away, but still has his heart with the money. So he improvises a lame little plea, it's badly executed, and we get sad eyes watching Dee leave.

I would've expected him to curse under his breath, or have some sort of small scale tantrum after that interaction if he was fully planning to manipulate Dee like that. His melancholy here is what has me thinking that it wasn't well thought out, and there's a part of him who cares about his relationship with Dee and wishes it could carry on as it used to.

Ter continues to obsess. We know he'd immediately seen the story Dee posted, and it seems he's returning to it again (knowing social media habits, he's likely checked it several times in between).

CAUGHT.

Kwan, in contrast to Ter, is also Dee's colleague. She finds him and his boxer boyfriend just charming!

This line kills the entire conversation. There's very obvious tension about this subject.

To me this is where Ter has kinda said the quiet part out loud. He's more concerned about his own image. To whom? His family? His patients? Future opportunities? To himself? Not that there's nothing for Dee to be worried about (this is in Thailand where gay marriage is not legal yet, after all), but he has had a good reception of being publicly queer so far. Is that due to his queerness being more pronounced? Has Ter ridden for most of his life on being able to pass as straight because he was afraid of the consequences?

I'm gonna take a hard left for a moment, and then redirect.

There's a scene in the film To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar where a sheriff (who has had an altercation with a drag queen and is looking for her for severely homophobic reasons) sits in a saloon and essentially narrates gay erotica aloud like he's trying to process the concept of homosexuality. He's disturbed about the idea. The people around him are also disturbed by his imaginings. It almost gives the sense that his thoughts come from desire, but he's been taught too much hate about that desire to recognize it.

And this is the moment where I just felt sorry for Ter. It seems like he maybe has some deep-seated denial, and it's being overturned by everything Dee is doing. It doesn't excuse him, but shit's gotta suck. And it's clear his disturbance with the idea of Dee having gotten over any feelings for him will be hard to reckon with on top of deciding how he feels about Dee himself. P'Golf does their antagonistic and confused gays well.

[mncein]

my sweater? or yours?

◖ 🌸 ° ✮ — seeking comfort after an exhausting day is a requirement. maybe hugs and kisses will ease the tiredness you're feeling. from who? of course your lovely girlfriend!

◖ 🕢 ° ✮ — today, serving you with...? pure fluff !! try your best to relax and take breaks, there is no time for drama today; pairing: newjeans ot5 x female!reader

◖ 💌 ° ✮ — mail for you: hi hi! guess who's back! i'll be explaining my semi-long (?) disappearance here. aside all the crazy things i've done in my life, first sem is done! so far i'm not pressured or stressed about any school works, i fixed my schedules, managed my time and all. i grew a lot ! hoping my brain did too, anyways take this as thanks to my loyal readers out there ! special thanks to @ilovekimminji for the kisses and requesting this hc ! ◖ 💬 ° ♪ — word count: 2,731

in what might some consider as dramatic, your tiredness has truly reached its limit. the silent but audible groans escaping your lips serve as a sign that you're getting more exhausted with every step you take. the walk to newjeans' dormitory, which the girls granted you access to, feels like a long travel at this point. each step is paired with a quiet sigh, a mumble of a protest against the weight of drained energy.

at last, you arrived at the front door of the building; when the view of the elevator opening entered reach of your sight, you felt a feeling of relief for your tired legs, you don't have to take the stairs! you made your way inside the dormitory, hoping that your girlfriend was home...

🌸 — minji

you know she was home because of her favorite slippers all messy on the rug of the front door. you knelt down, followed by a click of your tongue while you fixed the house shoes neat and well-arranged. after, you take your coat off and hang it on the rack, excitement of seeing minji growing second after second. rushing to the living room with a big smile on your face.

there she was, entirely carefree of your presence, but still undeniably beautiful while slacked lazily on the couch. the tv plays a playlist of her all-time favorite old rock love songs on youtube, and she listens to them with you twice or thrice a week, but it looks like she missed you so much that she had to listen to them alone for the 6th time this week.

you wasted no time and jumped on the couch, your mind going back to your intention of receiving hugs and kisses from your girlfriend, and went blank when you felt her wrap her strong arms around your waist. the both of you missed the warmth you shared with each other. it felt so long and cold as an endless winter night without being cuddled up on each other's arms.

"missed you so much."

words were muffled as you stuffed your face in her chest, she chuckled at your words as a reaction.

"same here. i had to play the songs all day because i can't get you off my mind."

"i knew. but at least give time to fix your slippers on the front door!"

you two shared a moment of laughter before staring into each other's eyes, closing them after feeling your lips touch. sharing the sweet moment passionately and expressively that lasted for a minute.

"i love you bro."

you pecked her lips between every word, her smile growing after receiving every kiss.

"i love you too, miss bro."

minji whispered as a distraction, for her to sneak her hands on your waist, fingers preparing for the right time to attack you with tickles.

"no, i love you more."

you teased.

"god, you're so annoying, i love love you more!"

minji replied after you, and she knew it was going to be an endless exchange of "i love you's", all set and go!

laughs escaped your mouth as minji's fingers turned into tickling machines, squirming and weak under her touch. you desperately tried to escape the torment to catch your breath.

"i swear! if getting tickled by you is a workout, i'd be really fit right now."

you blurt out, calming yourself after laughing too much, you then lay back on her chest, breathless and grinning from ear to ear. minji welcomes you again into her embrace, holding your head softly, this simple gesture sends sparks into your heart.

she rambled away, sharing how her day lacked its usual spark without you around. but excitedly, she spoke about some new songs she discovered, recommending them to you. as she was getting carried away with a new topic, she yearned to steal a few kisses from you. however, you remained silent. minji glanced down and found you peacefully sleeping on her chest, looking utterly adorable in your slumber.

she wouldn't dare wake you up, she knew you were tired, and you deserve a good rest. maybe she'll get those kisses tomorrow morning.

wait! before she closes her eyes and go to sleep with you...

"hold on, who's sweater are you wearing? my sweater? or yours?"

🌸 — hanni

of course, the familiar sounds of what she self-assuredly called "hanni music" echoed through the living room. it was visible that today was her specified lazy day. the remnants of her favorite delivered food were scattered messily on the floor, with even the plastic containers adding to the mess. straw wrappers had flown chaotically, and you unknowingly stepped on one.

now, she's sat on the sofa with her ipad in hand. it seems like she's busy doodling and playfully experimenting with the drawing app she shared with you. funny to you how it was so obvious what she was doing based on her crazy hand movements and a big lopsided grin on her face.

you break into her childlike moment by turning off the speaker that's been playing her songs. responding quickly, she wears a mix of guilt and silliness on her face. putting down her ipad next to her, hanni gazes up at your figure with crossed arms, resembling a scolded child caught in the act.

"hehe~ i'm done now, see...?"

hanni opened her arms and offered a hug, together with a gummy smile to ease the mood around the both of you. you're going to forgive her, right? she swore she'd clean up her mess, she was just too lazy to do it right away.

hanni, with a tender gesture, unfolded her arms and extended them towards you, warmly inviting you for a comforting embrace. hoping you'd give in to her, hanni's lips curved into a gummy smile, an easygoing expression showing to clear off any tension lingering in the air between the two of you. the atmosphere seemed to soften as her arms remained open wide, offering comfort in the form of an affectionate hug.

the unspoken question floats around in the air: were you willing to forgive her right there, right now? her eyes, filled with sincerity, pleaded for your understanding. she assured you that she would settle the situation, promising to tidy up the outcome of her apparent laziness. her intention was clear, seeking reconciliation through the simple act of offering an apology wrapped in a warm, embracing hug.

"sorry babe, i'll clean that up later. so why don't you get into these arms and cuddle with me?"

in that moment, a wave of conflicting emotions swept over you. despite the remaining second thoughts about fully accepting her apology. the hug felt nice, it was a gesture that goes beyond words, and you found yourself succumbing to the pure comfort she offered.

hanni, with a smile gracing her face, was content. having you back at home, embraced by her arms. though unsaid, her emotions showed that she missed you like how much you missed her too.

and the both of you had that connection between you, understanding each other without any effort. reciprocating the embrace, perhaps; in this instance, you would let her win, recognizing that sometimes the embrace of understanding speaks louder than the words left silent.

"i feel so small in this sweater."

"is that why you acted like a kid?"

"you know i look cute when i do."

you didn't really care when she wore your clothes; you both practically shared them anyway. however, with a glance at your tired expression, hanni sensed your weariness. so, she leaned back, inviting you to rest your head on her chest. the longing for her company was so strong that you ended up falling asleep there. well as she promised, when you wake up tomorrow, you'll find everything around you magically cleaned.

"maybe you should wear it more then. wait- is that my sweater? or yours?"

🌸 — daniellle

you can tell danielle's definitely home – dishes cleaned, table looking shiny, and neat. plants by the hallway appear refreshed, probably just had their daily hydration session. the living room, bathed in a cozy purple glow, the mist of the diffuser, leaving a trail of lavender goodness in the air. it's all relaxing as soon as you set foot inside. danielle's turned the dorm into a zen paradise, and you can't wait to spend your night with her.

she just knows you best, danielle had the movie you both agreed to watch. she obviously planned all this, as she was aware that you were coming home a little late and exhausted. your girlfriend always wants the best for you and is ready to do anything to help. you appreciate her for it, and like her, you'd do the same in a heartbeat. love works both ways.

you hurried to the room where she was, so eager to see your girlfriend. danielle was lying all cozy in a sweater and waiting for you, she had the remote resting in her hand, thumb hovering over the play button. noticing the familiar shadow, her eyes met yours. you were greeted with a soft smile and a flying pair of soft clothes she had prepared, hitting your face.

"think fast!"

she laughed while you rolled your eyes, picking up the clothes and changing into them inside the bathroom.

"i would if you didn't throw the clothes first."

you replied, finding a cozy haven on her chest, now she had her arms wrapped around you. inhaling the subtle fragrance that enveloped her, it felt like an immersive experience, almost ethereal. the scent, a delicate blend uniquely hers, it was her favorite, and wears it almost every day (which became your favorite on her as well), evoking a sense of comfort and security. it wasn't just a fragrance; it was an essence that described her sweet personality. all of those gave you a feeling that, at that moment, could genuinely be described as heavenly.

"how'd you do all these?"

"learned them from you."

"i see, welcome to my world."

a few minutes had passed and you were falling asleep in the position you were both in, the movie continued playing, danielle was keeping her focus on it while giving your head massages (that she knew would help you relax even more). you had your hands gripping gently on her clothes, feeling the familiar texture, you recognized it was the shared sweater of you two. you took note that it was her turn to wear it this week, danielle giggles when you rub your hands on her sides sleepily.

"i thought we shared this, i don't know if i should still consider this as my sweater? or yours?"

🌸 — haerin

in the dormitory was all silent and inviting compared to the busy city outside, and there was food in the cat's bowl. the presence of haerin was a quiet yet reassuring sign that she was indeed home. haerin, an up-to-time cat feeder, maintained a schedule, making sure that the fluffy friend was never left waiting for its meal. not even a minute too soon or too late.

as you stepped inside, you swiftly hung your coat before joining rangheo. soft purrs filled the space as you engaged in a playful moment with him, and he enough reminded you of haerin when she's away.

having slipped into a set of fresh, clean clothes, you make your way to the living room where haerin awaits. greeting her with a warm hug, your head finding a comfortable resting place on her chest. in an instant, she releases her hold on the phone, reciprocating the hug with a lovely smile on her face.

"didn't know you like laufey."

"i may or may not have been going through your playlists."

the soft sounds of laufey's music fade into the background as the two of you share this moment. that when the soft, tired breaths escape you. without a word, she senses your exhaustion and knows well how to give you an embrace full of relaxation around you, offering serenity in the warmth of her arms.

"how was your day?"

"boring without you."

"i'm here now though."

"day went better."

you softened at her words, you're glad you can spend the night with her (and rangheo); then you felt soft paws climb on your back and up to your head, resting snugly on your nape. haerin can't help but let out a giggle at the cuteness overloading in front of her. she had one of her hands on your head giving small scratches, and one rubbing under rangheo's chin.

suddenly, a set of gentle paws made their way up your back, reaching up to perch on your head, settling cozily on your nape. haerin couldn't contain her delight, and a let out at the sheer cuteness overloading before her. she had one of her hands on your head, sending small, sweet scratches. the other one rubbing gently under rangheo's chin. the scene was surely going to be in her gallery of memories, the picture of shared joy and the adorable bond between you, haerin, and the furry friend atop your head.

how easily haerin made you sleepy, just from the gentle touches she gave, it was better than you daydreamed about.

"i love that on you."

you point to her top,

"which one? my sweater?"

claiming it's hers and she's wearing your clothes again.

"huh, really... my sweater? or yours?"

🌸 — hyein

the hallways looked like the aftermath of a fashion hurricane! there were paper bags from famous clothing stores, a pastel pink beanie doing its best to blend in with the chaos, a random brown fur coat hanging off a doorknob, and the missing pair of purple socks in the middle of the floor. no doubt about it – hyein had turned the place into her very own fashion runway.

sure, you'll do her a favor and clean her mess but has to be repaid by hugs and kisses. hyein may forget about her own mess, but she does things for you willingly and without asking. once you're done tidying around, you change into your cozy house clothes and have a fun time cuddling with your girlfriend.

as you entered, relief washed over you at the sight of the living room, neat and tidy, it's pleasing to the eyes. however, a sudden click of a camera shutter broke your moment of silence, drawing your attention to the source. there she was, sitting gracefully on the couch, looking all gorgeous, capturing multiple pictures in various poses.

you couldn't help but assume that this unplanned photoshoot was destined for her phone gallery. curiosity sparked, and you wondered you wonder if she did the same with the tons of clothes all folded neatly at the edge of the sofa.

"oh, you're home! sorry for the mess in the hallway, i'll clean-"

"don't bother, i already cleaned them for you."

setting aside her phone, she created a space for you to lie down beside her. without hesitation, you accepted the invitation, sighing in contentment as you lay your head on her chest.

"tired?"

"very much."

arms wrapped around you in an instant, showering soft kisses across your face, exactly what you were yearning for earlier. maybe cleaning up her mess wasn't such a chore after all if the reward was this. aside from that thought, you found yourself blessed with daily affection from her, and you cherished every single gesture.

"any more plans for today?"

asked her, you shook your head no, you were too tired to think or do something.

"great! i just have one more request, and i'm dying to tell you."

you were getting sleepy at that very moment, well oh well, maybe you can make an exception, you hummed for her to continue.

"since you're here, let's take photos together! i've been wanting to try this sweater for soooo long."

she raised the familiar fabric, and it was yours.

"that's mine."

"nuh uh, found it in my closet."

"whatever, so is it still my sweater? or yours?"

◖ 💌 ° ☏ — you've reached the end! hi's and hello's once again, i hope you had a fun time reading! i enjoyed working on this, i can finally voice out my thoughts about the girls 😭 totally went crazy on danielle's, i love newjeans so muchjksjdjjdy

[the-broken-truth]

Breaking The Illusion: Yandere Ex-Boyfriend [Female Girlfriend Reader]

Summary: "You can't do anything with me!", that was the last thing he said to you when you left the apartment you shared together, tired of his abusive language and neglectful language. He has all the power, was the one who was keeping everything together, and was needed! Or, so he thought. Watch as his illusion of a perfect life cracks & shatters around him.

Broken: The Great @bweoo made a decent point in this post that we don't have enough of these trope stories, so I'm writing this. Thanks, Bweoo, and let the words weave together!

[Flashback]

"I'm breaking up with you. I cannot stand your language and attitude against me any longer." She said as she walked to their shared room with her suitcase that she dug out of the organized but overcrowded hall closet while her boyfriend was working. She had been sitting on the couch after cleaning everything, thinking about her future and what she really wanted in life; then, her thoughts trailed to her relationship with [Ex-Boyfriend], they had been dating for about 4 years, living together for 3; it was like a dream, but just like old gold, that dream was fading because it had been neglected for so long.

[Ex-Boyfriend] was always full of himself but he was still gentle and sweet to [Name] during the first year of their relationship, they had their rough patches; however, that was the same for every relationship, right?

Then again, pressure can also bust a pipe and her pipe had finally burst.

He was getting worse, expecting too much out of her and meeting her hard work & dedication to everything she was doing for him out of love with disdain and demeaning remarks; he even started comparing her to his ex-girlfriend, who was no more than a gold digger who dumped him the moment he lost his job due to cutbacks.

[Name] was tired of it all. She needed to leave him if she wanted to find her own happiness in life. As much as she loved him and all the time she spent with him, all that she sacrificed to make him happy...She didn't care anymore.

"You wanna leave me?! Ha! You're just as stupid as you appear to be! What are you going to do without me?! Where are you going to go?! Who is going to want you if you leave me?! You'll grow old and alone if you leave me! Stop talking nonsense and fall back in line, woman!" [Ex-Boyfriend] declared with a smirk on his face, expecting [Name] to stop packing and obey him as she always has.

He looked slightly shocked when she packed her last item, zipped her suitcase before reaching into her pocket, and placed her house key on the nightstand on her side of the bed before turning to face him with a scowl on her face and unshed tears shining in her [E/C] eyes.

"Lose my number." With that, [Name] pulled her suitcase out of the room, down the hall, into the living room, and to the front door; she reached out for it when [Ex-Boyfriend] called out behind her, arrogance soaked in his voice.

"You wanna leave?! Fine, go! You'll be back! I know it! YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING WITHOUT ME!" He laughed at her as she opened the door and slammed it behind her, making the pictures on the wall shake from the force before the living room was silent once again. He stared at the door for a while before scoffing with a smirk on his face.

"She'll be back in 3 days. She won't last without me; she's too pathetic." He said before walking to the kitchen to find his dinner, but he came up empty, "Damn. She didn't even make me dinner."

[The Next Morning]

[Ex-Boyfriend woke up to a cold bed, groaning as the sunlight hit him in the face from the window in front of him.

Wait.

Sunlight?

He was supposed to be a work before the sun rose!

He shot up, threw his blanket off himself, and grabbed his phone to check the time; only to find the cell device was dead.

"What the hell?! How could my phone be dead?! It's never been dead before, I always put it on the charger at night!" [Ex-Boyfriend] yelled to himself when a thought crossed his mind, or rather, the lack of a thought. He couldn't remember when or if he placed the phone on the charger that night...or any prior night.

That's when the realization hit him: [Name] was the one putting his phone on the charger at night to make sure it was fully changed for his next day at work.

"She's been making sure my phone was charged? I just thought I forgot when I charged it." [Ex-Boyfriend] thought when he stood up and got dressed for work and dragged the power bank out of his dresser drawer; [Name] would always put it there in case he needed extra juice.

He used his power bank, called his boss, and notified her that he would be to work soon enough, before hopping in his car and leaving the apartment.

'I am gonna have a serious talk with her about not reminding me to charge my damn phone. Useless woman.' He growled in his mind as he drove to his office.

[Throughout The Month]

This month was the most stressful [Ex-Boyfriend] had gone through.

He kept forgetting to charge his phone at night, causing him to charge his phone in the car because he forgot to recharge the power banks. He would have to work with 30% of battery for the entire day.

He was out of fresh work clothes and he lacked the knowledge of washing them himself, so he had to take his suits to the Dry Cleaners so they could do it for him, but since the suits were designer, they were charging him more to make sure the suits were properly cleaned; it wasn't like he couldn't afford it but it was taking too much of his important time.

Without [Name] there to do the cooking and cleaning, [Ex-Boyfriend] hadn't had a homemade meal in a week and had been spending his money on fast food or eating out a high-class restaurants. Moreover, the apartment was getting more disgusting by the day, the trash was overflowing, dirty clothes, shoes and dishes were all over the place and he didn't know how the clean; she always did that for him.

He also found himself rather lonely on his time off. [Name] would welcome him home with a smile, a kiss on the cheek, and a warm meal, ready to listen to the stresses of his day; lending him her ear without a single word of personal input, just listening to him. He also thought about who she would run his baths for him and hold him when he found himself having a hard time sleeping at night; she felt so perfect in his arms.

Then, there was the matter of the Household Expenses. [Ex-Boyfriend] started receiving calls and notices in the mail about the payment for the bills and rent for the apartment; turned out, [Name] was doing an At-Home Job and using her salary to pay the expenses herself, but after the break-up, [Name] called the Landlord and Bill Companies, telling them that they would have to call [Ex-Boyfriend] for the future payments for any other bills; he didn't even know she had a At-Home Job, but [Name] told his elder sister about her job and how she got it to help around the house. He didn't know she was paying his bills, rent, and the groceries for the house with her OWN money... No wonder she never asked for anything other than his attention and love... She was handling everything on her own.

He groaned, holding his head in his hands as he attempted to hold back the tears building in his eyes.

"Why won't you come home already, [Name]? Why won't you answer my calls? Having me blocked is so childish. It's been a month already, so being so damn stubborn already. You still love me... Right?" He questioned himself.

His mind was filled with thoughts of his time with [Name] but all he could hear were his words of abuse and his neglectful nature; it was no wonder she was so sick of him. Then, he remembered the words his elder sister said when he was on the phone earlier in the day:

"If I were her, I would have left your narcissistic ass, too. She did all that stuff for you because she loved you, but you took her for granted. She had enough and she left. You had a good thing and now it's gone, don't cry over spilled milk now."

That's when his illusion shattered and the tears finally fell when the realization hit him hard.

"She never needed me... She wanted me... She stayed because she loved me. She never needed me. I needed her. I needed her. I need her. I NEED her." He lifted his head and looked at the picture of him and [Name] that was taken on their first day, "I need her... and I am GOING to get her back. I'm coming for you, My Love. We are going to be together again and I shall treat you like the queen you are."

[END]

@bweoo - Thoughts?

[aois-amaterasu-painting]

Ruki (on X):

From January to July, so many things have happened.

Amidst the whirlwind of days, I questioned what is right and what is normal? While swaying between emotions and reason, I was constantly making various choices, and desperately running through each day.

In such times, I was supported solely by everyone's concerned voices and the words "I love you."

Thank you always.

And although it's been a while, I wrote on Instagram. I hope this reaches everyone who loves me. ✉️

It's been about two months since my last post.

Seeing the closet still filled with winter clothes, I realized that this year, for me, there was no spring. Time stopped in winter, and then summer came.

I noticed that I had been putting off such a basic thing as living, and I finally did a long-overdue wardrobe change the other day.

Life is built on daily choices, an accumulation of decisions.

Only you can decide if those choices and your life are right or wrong.

The responsibility for your life is yours and yours alone.

I feel that trying to conform to the standards of "normal" for others will only make you feel more miserable when you are going through a tough time.

It's the same for everything; it's okay not to be "normal" as measured by someone else's standards.

No matter the relationship, I believe it's impossible to fully understand all of someone's inner struggles and pain. Fans' pain and our pain, human wounds vary from person to person.

Therefore, the way and speed at which wounds heal also vary for each person. The way you accept things too. It's okay if it's not the same.

Because the heart is a place that cannot be seen from the outside, others can't understand those wounds, and in fact, even we ourselves cannot measure how deep our wounds are.

Everyone, might be forcing a smile on the outside, and when they come home, no one sees the emptiness they are feeling, and they probably don't want to show it to anyone.

The way I've spent my days, I was told, wasn't very human-like, but I think that's okay.

Now, rather than sadness, I feel loneliness.

Because I am human, I know that I will meet them again someday.

So, thinking that way, I am accepting it now.

Although I feel lonely without Koron and Reita, for now, goodbye. This reminded me of when I wrote the lyrics for QUIET.

And when the day comes that we can meet again, I want to live in a way that I'll be told, "You lived a good life."

In reality, there are four of us now, but not as a mere illusion; another face is vividly present in my mind.

So, the feeling of being five members is not a lie. That will surely be forever.

After thinking about it all, I've come to the conclusion that I need to start living each day in a way that will leave a lot of proof that I lived.

I want to create music and things with more love than ever before.

Although my core approach to making music hasn't changed, what I feel I want to draw and leave behind now has changed significantly.

I want to cherish every moment, even the most ordinary ones, like taking pictures of everyday life, going to different places and feeling the scenery, the smells, all the things that I can only feel at that moment.

And if you're feeling overwhelmed right now, I think it’s okay to put everything on hold and take a break without overthinking it. It’s okay to stop pushing yourself for a while.

If I hadn’t taken a step back, I wouldn't have reached this mindset.

Then, bit by bit, listen to music you love, visit places that bring you joy, and heal your heart.

I'm gradually doing that myself too.

I hope everyone can find their own way of healing.

And if this band, the GazettE, can become something that saves or heals even just one person, I will overcome anything.

To me, everyone who waits for us is my reason for living.

The only place where you can let out everything you can't express in daily life, I believe, is at live concerts.

So, I hope we can share that extraordinary space where we can shout and make noise together as much as possible.

I've said it before, but there will be more opportunities to meet from now on. Or rather, I will make them.

I want to increase the time I can enjoy with everyone who loves me, so please wait for it.

Next is Toyosu PIT announcement, so please check it out.

Thank you for reading such a long post. I'll write again

2024.07.18