#I can't stay away from the ultra high of found family

[the-painted-siren]

Sea and Storm

The Ninjago writers decided I didn’t need my heart then, I guess. Real groovy, guys. Next season better have to do with Kai bringing Nya back like the undyingly dedicated big brother he is or I swear to everything that’s ever had the misfortune of existing next to me I will grab a megaphone and parade around LEGO headquarters until they make it so.   Also, Riptide is playing while I write this hurt/comfort so if it’s weepy and incoherent, that’s why. Tags: Spoilers for S15, Major Character Death

Jay goes out on a bolt of lightning. He doesn't remember if it was before or after the rest of his family and he doesn’t hear any echoing screams follow him on the trail of rolling thunder. He just knows that one moment he’s staring into the eyes of the enemy and the next he’s soaring. 

There’s a cold blue ocean beneath him and violet clouds wreathed around him. The pleasant hum of his element courses through his veins as he steps down onto the horizon, a single ripple stilling it’s entire surface. He breathes out, a gentle gust of wind rising through his lungs or the strange tracing of lightning they’re comprised of now. 

He’s alone, he realizes. For the first time in years, he’s completely, one-hundred percent alone. He can’t remember a time when he didn’t at least have the fuzzy outline of someone he loved in his memories. 

He showed up to the monastery, young and spirited and dizzy with joy, and all but glommed onto Cole as the only other student of Master Wu in the vicinity. He flocked to Zane once they had the Bounty, and to Kai and Lloyd and Nya. One by one, he gained his team, his family. There’s a bitter-sweetness in knowing he’ll only see them once he’s found his place in the Departed Realm, knowing there wasn’t a single moment he had without them when he was in Ninjago. 

Sure, Zane had been a self-sacrificial moron that one time and Jay, heart-sick and failing to even look at food without aching had fled to where the lights were brightest and the cheers were loudest. 

But they got him back. In the end, through bruises and battles and the glint of a green blade and the noodle master’s nasally laughter, they got Zane back. 

Not like how they never got Nya back. 

Pain is an old friend, by now. Nya’s absence, hollow and excruciating the way only missing a Yang could be, made itself a permanent home in Jay’s heart. He’s used to it by now, even if it never stops hurting. 

It won’t stop hurting here, either. 

Which, really kind of sucks. Even when he’s one with his own element and beyond the rational reach of emotions, grief still finds a way to wound him with everything its got. Sea mist and the sound of the ocean still finds a way to force itself into his presence, with a bright and radiant glow and a high siren song. 

Actually, that might be a literal glow, now that he’s bothering to focus. 

If he could breathe, then the ability might have just been stolen from him because she’s here. 

Suddenly and violently and oh, so brilliantly, only as she can be, only as she knows how to be, Nya’s here. 

And it’s like he’s a kid again, lovestruck and giddy as he first lays eyes on her. Messy and sooty and sniping at her big brother’s hair as they stumble from the Fire Temple, a valiant smile on her face because not even the mighty Lord Garmadon could scare her, the same smile she wears so many years later. FSM, he loves that smile. 

Of course, because he’s so smooth, he goes out of his way to pick the first cheesy pick-up line that comes to mind. 

“Have I just met an angel?” He asks. 

Nya laughs, really laughs, like it comes from deep within her core and resonates across the sea and the sky with unbridled energy. He sucks in a shaky breath. FSM, he loves that laugh. 

“You’re the one flying, Jay,” She replies, once she’s wiped the tears from her eyes. “I think the angel here is you.” 

Jay’s lightning burns brighter, a flash flickering up around his face—he’s blushing. He’s hesitant but he holds out a hand nonetheless. Nya glances once at it then plunges straight into hugging him, a tight embrace that flutters through him and mingles with her waves. He hugs her back, faintly recalling the scent of ash and the taste of salt from the last time they did this. They sway together in perfect harmony, their legs tangle together, they’re so close to one another, a proximity he hasn’t had in so long. 

They dance, feet touching on the ocean and sending gentle wrinkles over its surface. They dance, like they always used to because it was their thing, their dates, their activities. 

They dance, sea and storm, jagged and uneven, silk-like and serene, skipping to the everchanging beats that only they can hear. In the sky, on the clouds, then into the deep blue between the weeds and the rocks, both as dragons and as people. 

And they hold each other as though this is the last time they ever will. 

Though deep in Jay’s heart, he knows this might be all he’ll ever get to do until time fades away and loses it’s name. He’s okay with that, he finds. 

Then, even they’re not alone anymore. Jay’s eyes are tugged toward the sea below him where something narrow cuts a neat path through the waves. A dragon’s head at the prow, sailing white wings upon three masts, the sound of laughter and familiar music and the mouth-wateringly delicious smell of stir-fried udon—Zane’s and Kai’s signature dish, a recipe they concocted together. 

The Bounty. 

“How long have we been here?” Jay looks at Nya but the Bounty pulls her gaze toward it, commanding it. 

She startles then glances back at Jay. 

“I don’t... know...” the answer is kind of lame, unsure. Which is how Jay knows its serious because there’s hardly a time when Nya doesn’t know what’s going on. “Here, time is....”

Strange. Weird. It flows differently from Ninjago. None of which she replies with. It all makes sense to Jay and simultaneously makes no sense at all. He’s going to have words with the Time Twins for this nonsense. 

Later though. He’s more distracted by the colorful glowing sparks on the deck of the Bounty. There’s a fiery gold and a shimmering green, their warmth vast enough to be felt even in the stratosphere. Then there’s a tell-tale twinkling blue-white and an earthen, olive grey. 

“It’s home...” Nya finally says, her voice drenched with awe and longing as though she’s been away from them for decades. 

Jay feels a weak smile pull at his lips. “You want to go see them?” 

Nya flashes him that smile he loves again. 

“Do I ever.” 

[a-froger-epic]

Interview with a Queen “groupie”

Cross-posted to AO3. I encourage you to leave any comments you have there.

---

I compiled this interview following a long email exchange with J, a very sweet lady who went to Ealing Art School between 1972 and 1974. She knew all four members of Queen personally and was part of their larger circle of friends.

First off, you may find this hard to believe. I don’t blame you. But I assure you I’m not pulling your leg. As well as the pictures I share in this post, I have seen current pictures of J (which I will not share to protect her privacy). There is no indication as far as I am aware that she isn’t who she says she is.

Nastally, hold up. How exactly did you find this lady?

She found me. It turns out that she has been following my story Dawn of Aquarius for quite some time. The story is set in 1969. A lot of research about the era went into it, because I wanted to portray that time period - and Freddie’s and Roger’s surroundings - as accurately and realistically as I possibly could. That was what drew J in. She tells me it brought back a lot of memories for her. One of the reasons I love DoA so much is the nostalgia, she says, which genuinely means the world to me. Eventually, she talked to me in the comment section. Of course, I freaked out!

And then, I asked her for an interview, to which she replied: I will give it a go, but you must remember that I am 65 and there were great drugs in the 70s, and at 16, away from home, I had a lot!

And so...

Here’s what is IMPORTANT TO KEEP IN MIND when you read this interview.

These are one woman’s 50-year-old memories and subjective impressions. J has been incredibly kind to let me pick her brain, trying to recall everything as best as she can. In her own words:

Just remember that when I answer the questions, it is from a 16-year-old who is 9 years younger than Freddie and a little girl with no family and friends in a strange country trying to fit in. The only reason I was there, was because some hippie thought I had a unique art style.

---

J as a teenager.

[I have edited the interview together from our long, and somewhat messy at times, email exchange. Typos have been fixed and some punctuation added for clarity, but I have not changed anything J has written to me. Again, bear in mind these are personal opinions and impressions.]

So, J, how did you end up at Ealing Art School in 1972 and what was it like?

This was the painting done for the Australian school-leaving certificate.

It placed first and gave me a scholarship. I could pick France, the USA or England. As a dual citizen of the UK, the choice was easy. The scholarship paid for board and fees, so had to be and sell whatever for spending money.

This picture is from the dorm. We all had a 10pm curfew and a very thick rule book that, I am proud to say, I broke every one of them, one by one. The rooms were on the 1st and 2nd floor. We were on the first floor, rooms one side and admin staff the other end. We had two bathrooms for 18 girls. One of them had two baths. The walls were your standard half wall, so it was a given that if you had a bath you run the risk of having a bucket of cold water dropped on you. Downstairs was the kitchen and lounge room.

I want to ask you a few things about life in London in the early 70s, to get a picture of what it was really like. For example, was there alcohol at the music gigs you went to?

If it was a school, church or community hall, no. If it was a pub, yes.

Did you and your friends drink as much then as young people tend to drink now when you all went out?

No, we didn't. I think it had a lot to do with money. We didn't have the disposable income, and it was unheard of to still be living at home with the parents after the age of 20.

Was weed and LSD as big and easily accessible as depictions of the 60s and 70s would have us believe?

The drugs! Got to have drugs. Pot (weed) was easy to grow, very cheap. Used to smoke it in bongs rather than joints, more bang for your buck. Trips [LSD] were cheap, I think. About 2 pounds and you were on the high for over 24 hours with no sleep. My drug of choice was hash. Either the oil or the block. It was a nice high, but you could not function well. But if you listen to the music of the time it really does reflect what it was like, to have a group of friends over for a session. Having said all that the most outlandish and shocking drug I ever saw anyone use was the birth control pill. Didn't you have to hide that stuff away?!

Can you tell us some 70s slang that isn’t really in use anymore? What in the world does “ultra-blagging” mean? (As written in a letter penned by Freddie to his friend Celine in 1969.)

Abso-bloody-lootely!

Man, I thought I was the bees knees to be on a scholarship in London. But that didn't stop me from jigging or having a skive day. They were the days that I blagged my way into a pub, had too many lagers and ended up chundering in the gutter. That was how you knew your night was ace. I would get a right bollocking if anyone found out. It would be a bugger when all that you could find at a car boot sale was chavtastic, but sometimes you could be Jammy Dodger and tickety-boo you find something brilliant. Bob's your uncle. Anyways, I need to see a man about a dog.

[It seems to me that J uses a bit of Australian slang here, like chundering, which makes sense because she is, after all, Australian. She also provided the translation:]

Cheers

J

It would be my honour.

I felt very privileged to be given a scholarship that let me study in England. But being so young and having no family to guide me, it was often tempting to not turn up or give a false excuse for being sick. (I had a lot of food poisoning). These would often happen if the night before I had been drinking beer and ended up vomiting outside the pub. But in my young mind that was a good night. If any of the teachers found me drinking I would be in a lot of trouble. Often I would have to say I was holding it for someone else. Not having much clothes with me, I would buy them second hand from church jumble sales or other students and, yes, Kensington market (the market). Some of the stuff would not be very tasteful or in good condition. But sometimes you would find something that was cheap and in good condition. I will stop this text now as I must go to the toilet.

PS: Ultrablagging sounds very Freddie. Blagging was used, but not ultra, meaning to persuade someone to do something or act better than you are. They were always rock stars.

Sincerely

J

[It was at this point that I realised I was talking to an absolute legend. She also told me then that the majority of her old photographs had sadly been lost when her house was flooded in 1988, including most of the photographs from her stay in London. Noooo! :(]

When you went out to dance, did you have only live music? Were there DJs yet?

You know, that is hard. We did not have a DJ. Sometimes there would be a band. Often we looked for places with a band or the jukebox. I think pubs closed at 10pm and some stayed open to 12 or 1, but public transport stopped at 9. So if you had not arranged a lift then you had to make the last bus. Most of the time we would be heading back to someone's place to get stoned and then crash there. In the morning you would have to work out where you were. When I got back to Australia, the discos were all the rage. They could have been in London too but it was not cool to like disco.

How many people would show up to Queen’s gigs when they played in pubs or at, for example, the Imperial College?

Depending on the location and the night: 10 to 1000!

So how did you first meet the Queen boys?

I was at the pub talking about a band we saw last week when Brian stuck his head into our booth telling us he knew a better one. Thinking about seeing them at the stall... Roger not often, Freddie quite a lot. Often on different stalls, I think that is why I can't remember the name. [The name of the stall. Other sources confirm that Freddie also worked at Alan Muir’s stall, for example, selling shoes.]

How well did you know them?

Just looking at your tumblr account. [she has had a look at my blog, where somebody asked if ‘groupie’ meant she had slept with the band] No, I never slept with the boys. I would not say I was a close friend, but I started at Ealing Art College in ‘72 and moved in the same circles. I loved the music and could be called one of the first groupies. I had to sneak into the pubs because I was 16. Roger always teased me for being so young. They all did seem to be one very large family, not just the band. It was a group of about twenty regulars, both male and female. Everyone knew that Fred was too gay to function. We were all at the gay rights march in London in 1972, had to run after the march. Lots of sharpies [Australian slang: youth gang, thugs] wanting to bash us. Back then I was in every protest that was going, student union rights, even the secretary protest. Just part of the times, stick it to Man or Woman. I left London in ‘74 for Australia, been here ever since and lost track of the boys but have never stopped being a fan.

What do you remember about them? How would you describe their personalities?

Don’t let the trolls hate me, but I did not like Brian. I found him to be rather full of himself. Space was a subject you never brought up around Brian or you would die of old age before he stopped talking. He was always the first to speak and start a conversation and then quickly passed you off to John, who was always tired and shy. Roger was also quite shy at times. He was very self-conscious of his looks, as he felt being pretty, nobody would take him seriously. Fred, well, he was not yet the big star, so I think he was working on his stage persona. When talking to groups at parties, he had the best stories of things that had happened to him or close friends. They were very funny and very descriptive. He was the life of the party. When he had a few to drink or was the centre of attention, he would take a cigarette out of the closest person’s hand and start smoking. Now remember this is the point of view of a 16-year-old girl that was a fish out of water, trying to fit in and not having much worldly experience.

It is said that Freddie and Roger were very stylish. How did they dress in everyday life?

Fred would do his hair and makeup to check the mail. Yes, he was always turned out, but so were a lot of people. Freddie did go over the top with hats, scarfs and jewellery. With Roger, it is a surprise he was able to have kids his jeans were that tight. And his shirts were always open unless he was in a jumper. I think it could have been so that you knew he was male, as it was the start of the unisex clothing. When I travelled out of London I realised it was a London thing. When I got back to Australia everyone thought I was a show-off.

There are some disagreements about how tall especially Freddie was. I know this is a difficult thing to try and remember accurately. But do you remember?

Freddie was taller than me but everyone was. Roger was shorter than Fred, but I never saw Roger in platform shoes. I did meet up with the band by chance at Sydney airport in 1984, said ‘hello’ but they did not remember me, or if they did then they did not say anything and I did not want to be a dork. At that time Fred was the same height as me (5ft 8in/1.72m), Roger was taller than me. It made me think at the time that he had a growth spurt! John was shorter than me and Brian has always been tall. [I have a feeling the platform shoes - or lack thereof - played a vital role here! Although 172cm for Freddie seems likely.]

You said everyone knew Freddie was “too gay to function”. Attitudes towards homosexuality have changed so much that it can be hard for us, now, to fathom what exactly people must have thought of him. Was it more of a joke that he was so camp? Was it something he would have been teased for? Also, he had a girlfriend. Did you ever meet Mary or the other girlfriends?

In 1972 a whole group of us - and I am pretty sure that Fred, Roger, Brian and Tim were there - were in a gay pride march. [Since then, J has found and showed me a picture of a boy she thought was Tim Staffel, and it wasn't, so Tim was most definitely not there. Whether Freddie, Roger and Brian really were there or if J is misremembering, who knows?] Us youth believed you could not choose who you fell in love with and if it was same sex, so what? However, if it was two girls then it was every guy’s duty to change her!

It was also a time that the gayer the guy was, the more the girls were interested. Also, if a guy was gay then you did not have to worry about him and he was a good person to take with you if you were going out drinking. However, the police, parents, teachers and anyone of authority were horrified and treated them badly. I did meet Mary a couple of times at pubs and once after a gig. This is just my opinion, but I found her a bitch. It could be that I was so young. It could be that I was very Australian. It could be that she felt threatened as my accent was a magnet to people around. And the boys (Queen) were no exception. Brian had a cousin in OZ and was always asking questions. I remember that my close group of friends thought that Mary made the perfect girlfriend for Fred as they were as fake as each other. Having said that about them, I often wonder if I would think the same now and if my perceptions were just because she would not give me the time of Day. Chrissy and Jo were a lot of fun.

This was before your time, but I read that Freddie's nickname at Ealing Art School was ‘Freddie Baby’. Any ideas how this came about? His showmanship or maybe personality traits?

I don't think so. There were an older crowd that would talk like that. I think the slang ‘baby’ was a 60’s thing, like groovy baby.

How long, roughly, did Roger and Freddie have their stall? I can't find anywhere when it closed down. What did it actually look like? Was it a sort of wooden stall type of thing? Or an actual room? What were some of the other things people sold at Kensington Market? Mostly clothes or all sorts?

The markets were little divided shops. The back was brick and the walls wood. I have been trying all day to remember the name. [Of the stall.] I think it was something hard to say. More often than not it would be Freddie's dad in the store. It was still open when I left. Roger and Freddie were both in the store on Saturdays and some Sundays. There was a girl, I think Jill, who was in the store more. And during the week it could be anyone. You name it and you could get it at the markets. Second hand or designer clothes, shoes, jewellery, pot and assortments. Hair cuts, food, bric-a-brac.

Wait, wait. What? Freddie’s dad? Really now?

Yeah, it was an older Indian man. so we just assumed it was his father. It was my understanding that he started the stall then the boys would work it as the whole markets were set up for younger people, but if needed he would work there. I don't think the boys would be able to pay the rent on their own. [I have since found out that the stall closed in late 1971, and Freddie continued to work at the Market until '74, for Alan Mair and possibly others. So the stall J witnessed wasn't their original stall - explaining all the different people she saw there - but she had no way of knowing that it wasn't.] They always had incense burning that was very big in the 70s. I still occasionally bring out the sticks, but it does not last like the candles and diffusers of today. If you could get in touch with Robert Daniels, he ran ChaChaDumDum it was the stall across from Freddie. He would know the dates.

[J says it’s this look, in a picture she happened across while looking at my tumblr] Yep, that is the one. It usually means that he does not believe or agree with something that was said and is working out how to respond, or he has lost the plot.

You mentioned Roger seemed shy to you at times. Was he also quite charming? We read a lot about what a chick magnet he was. Was this the impression you had?

My favorite subject! I had a thing for Roger. Everyone has a type and mine is the blue-eyed blond. Now, before you ask, was he brunet? No, he was a mouse/dirty blond. If it was summer he would have blond streaks mostly at the ends. He knew he was pretty and was always dressed in the latest fashion and had the current hairstyle. So, being my type I was constantly watching him. Everyone slept around during that time. I did not notice Roger doing it more or less. 80% of the time he was with Jo. Yes, he was a chick magnet, but he did not do the chasing. He was always very polite to everyone. If it ever looked like there would be any conflict he would be the first to leave it. It was not that he was a coward, just not into conflict. If he saw anyone that needed help he was right there, and often had to have Freddie's back. I never saw him in a fight. He could always talk his way out of things. He was also very patient and would listen for hours to other people talk. However, he would get this vacant look in his eyes at times.

And Freddie would either click his fingers, change the subject or just give up. I don’t think that Brian noticed, and it would be fair game for John, he would see how far he could push it. Roger liked to drink a fair bit and when drunk he would be hanging all over Jo. If she was not there then he missed Jo. If, however, he thought that he or his friends were not being respected, then look out! It was a verbal volcano heading your way. That is what happened to me one time. I was trying to talk with my friends close to where a drunken Roger was and I yelled at him to shut the hell up, you wannabe blond. We/I coped a mouthful back, all in the same sentence, that finished with: Sorry, I didn't realise you were on your rags (period)! I have to have the last word, so I told him the truth: I don’t get them yet! (I was a late starter.) He went so red in the face and called me JB [jail bait] from then.

You also mentioned Roger’s cat Ziggy having kittens. I read about this but never when exactly it was. Do you remember?

I think it was winter ‘73. I remember being cold when he was asking around the pub. [To find homes for the kittens, I gather.]

Is it quite strange reading fictional interpretations of real people you knew? When did you first find out there was Queen fanfic?

No, we used to make up stories about people all the time, a verbal fanfic. Was looking up Adam Lambert and came across the fanfics. Some had me in stitches! Others, like DoA, had me hooked.

Please, allow me to be a little self-indulgent at the end. What's one thing I got totally RIGHT in DoA?

All the Ibex stuff.

What's one thing I got totally WRONG in DoA?

Roger did not have a temper, and I don’t know what the go with his father was, but he would talk about him quite a bit and was always visiting his mum. [Absolutely fair, not only did I change the timeline of Roger’s parents divorce in DoA - for lack of information at the time - but also created a completely fictional narrative around it for the sake of storytelling.]

J, thank you so much for all this, sincerely. Can you tell me a little more about yourself? Are you still an artist?

I don't paint or draw any more. At the age of a 50 the doctors operated on an aneurysm or three, and now my eyesight is very bad, I have no fine motor skills and a tremor. I was married in January 1984 and have just celebrated our 37 year anniversary. I have one daughter who is 30 and two great, although tiring grandkids. A girl, 11, and one boy, 5. I have lived my life as the average middle class Australian with great memories. Talking with you has helped me a lot to remember a time when the world was mine for the taking. When I returned to OZ I started nursing, met my best friend, and we planned that once we graduated we would go back to London to study midwifery. But I fell in love instead.

J's wedding in 1984. As you can see, she found her own blue-eyed blond.

---

Upon request, J has shared some of her past and present artwork with me.

These are from her time at Ealing Art School:

These were done later, back in Australia:

J: Did this just before Christmas as you had inspired me. It did not require fine motor skills!

So there you have it! I hope you found this little glimpse through a 16-year-old girl’s eyes as much of a fascinating read as I did. I urge everybody one more time to remember that J did not have to share any of this, and I think we all owe her a big thank you for delving into her memories. She is likely to see the responses on AO3, so I have comment moderation enabled there as I will not let anybody harass this lovely lady. The tumblr she created is @since72, but she isn’t really an active user and also very new to it all. Again, I can only urge everybody to be respectful.

If you have other burning question for J, feel free to leave them in the comments on AO3. I will either pass them on, or she may want to reply to them herself directly.

[ohdeersthings]

Querenica

(Spanish) A place where one's strength is drawn, where one feels at home; The place where you are your most authentic self.

Soo first time writing in a long time (Like since 2013? 2014? My poor tween self). Open to critiques. Just wanna do some angst and a little fluff because ya know. We love crying 🥰

MIRIO TOGATA X F!READER

__________________♡♡♡_________________

"MIRIO!"

"FORGET ABOUT ME! GET ERI OUT OF HERE!"

"I WONT LEAVE YOU DAMMIT! WE PROMISED TO DO THIS TOGETHER"

"I KNOW, BUT THIS IS BIGGER NOW. PLEASE (Y/N) JUST GET HER OUT!"

_________________________________________

° You could still remember the day perfectly as if it was yesterday. The day everything had shifted, turning your world upside down as you could barely wrap your head around the new surroundings and emotions that flew by as you gazed up at the new school. Well, one could only feel so much at the ripe age of eight.

"Are you ready to venture inside?" Your mother, (M/N) asked with a smile, squating down beside you as your small hands clenched at your (F/C) skirt, not able to maintain eye contact. "(Y/N)? It'll be okay, you'll get to make new friends and learn more interesting facts about your favorite subjects," (M/N) tried to put you at ease but there was only so much you can do for a child whose natural, shy nature made it difficult for new transitions and surroundings.

You tried to relax your hands but failed as you gazed up your mother, (E/C) eyes a shade darker than yours staring back warmly, "But won't the other kids make fun of me? My quirks not very show worthy..Maybe we can try again next year?" You had pleaded hopefully, not wanting to leave the comfort of your home without your Mother. (M/N) could only sigh, running a hand softly through your (H/C) tresses, "I'm sorry my sweet girl, Mommy can't homeschool you anymore, I know it'll be strange since it's half way through the first of the year but you'll see," she smiled wide at you, and you couldn't help but smile back too, gaining confidence from her that made your heart warm so much that the flowers of purple and blue next to you sprung to life and bloomed. "Even the flowers agree too," (M/N) laughed as your face turned a soft pink from embarrassment, still not having full control over your quirk. Grabbing your hand softly, your mother stood up tall and gently led you inside, the new adventure waiting for you beyond the doors.

~

"Alright! Everyone settle down we have a new student joining us, come on in" The teacher announced, glancing toward the doorway where you stood frozen, heart racing at the thought of having to introduce yourself now an overwhelming feeling. 'Maybe if I run I can catch Mom?' You thought, but thinking back to her warm eyes and smile, you swallowed and walked in, looking down and trying to ignore the dozens of eyes staring at you. "Introduce yourself my dear," The teacher smiled at you, hoping to ease your anxiousness.

Finally gaining the confidence to look up, you looked around warily at the new faces. Some looking interested, others bored, a few who seemed a mixture of both depending on your introduction. "H-Hello there..My name is (L/N) (F/N), I hope we get along," you'd manage to squeak out, hands tense at your side as you bowed, looking back up as some people gushed over your now pink face. "How cute~!" "She's so flustered!" "Her hair is so pretty~! "Wonder what her quirk is?" Were a few you heard right away, making you smile nervously as your hands found your skirt again. "Calm down everyone, (L/N) you may take your seat in front of Mirio, Mirio raise your hand," a boy with bright blonde hair, stunning blue eyes and a warm smile greeted you as you made your way to your seat.

Nodding your head in thanks, you sat down and got out your flower covered notebook and sunflower pencil, beginning to take notes as the lesson began. A warm feeling creeping over your back, turning slightly to see the boy, Mirio, smiling at you with an inquiry gaze, head in his hands as he leaned in close. Flustering again, you quickly turned around hoping to have not been caught, but the same couldn't be said for the boy behind you, whose interest in you seemed to just grow more.

~

Outside break time seemed to come so fast yet so slow as you walked around, finding shade beneath a tree as you breathed in the fresh air, your body seeming to glow around you as the plants nearby leaned toward you, almost as if you were the sun itself. It was so peaceful and relaxing, true harmony as you let a smile grace your features. If only it could stay like this-

"HEY THERE!" A sudden voice cut through the air as you jumped, screaming in shock and falling backwards into the tree. "Oh gosh I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to frighten you, honest!" Opening your eyes, you glanced up to see Mirio, the boy from class in front of your with a smile still gracing his features. "(L/N) right? I'm Mirio Togata! Nice to meet you," he kept his smile up, holding a hand out to you to help you up. Accepting his hand, you stood up, trying to look around anywhere but him as your nerves came back again for the thousandth time.

"Uh, you alright there? Didn't knock any screws loose I hope?" He laughed, leaning in closer to you. The warmth that glowed from him seemed to rival the sun, and you couldn't ignore it any longer as you looked up at him, a small smile now reaching your face too. "He-Hello, it's nice to meet you too," your smile glowed back at him, just as radiant as his is.

"Hey I got a question for ya. Do you like Heros?" Mirio asked straightforward, wanting to get to know you better right of the bat. The question took you by surprise because, yes, you didn't just like Heros, you loved them. You simply nodded, nerves relaxing a little as a breeze blowed by. "Awesome! Say, you've gotta come meet my friends, we can talk about Heros until we go back inside! Oh, maybe we can even continue at lunch! If you wanna sit with us that is, maybe even after school. Wait you might be busy," he rambled off, suddenly excited it appeared to have a new friend.

You couldn't help the laugh that escaped you, your hand coming up to block your mouth to stop yourself since you didn't wanna come off as rude. "Sorry, got carried away a bit huh?" Mirio laughed, rubbing the back of his neck as his non wavering smile kept to his face. "It's okay, I don't mind," you answered back, (E/C) eyes meeting Mirios blue ones as you stared, perhaps longer than you should've.

The bell from the school filled the air, causing you to jump, the grass beneath your feet suddenly growing and towering over you and Mirio. "WOAH!" Mirio exclaimed, surprised at the sudden growth spurt of the grass. He looked at you with wide eyes, wondering if this was your quirks doing. It only made sense, seeing as how it was just you two around.

You blushed, hands to your skirt again as you looked down embarrassed. "Sorry, my quirk goes off if I have a sudden spike of emotion sometimes," you explained, glancing up at Mirio who could only grin at you wide eyed, "THATS SO COOL! Can you only manipulate grass? Or is it all nature? Just plants? You've gotta tell me more," he gushed, his hands clenched into fists, excitement pouring out of him.

You'd never seen someone so intrigued by your quirk before outside of your family. It caused a warm feeling in your stomach and chest, slowly pouring out into the rest of your body as you and Mirio exited the tall grass, now able to see the school yard and other kids who were walking inside to resume lessons.

"So what is your quirk? If you don't mind me asking," Mirio inquired, hands on hips and his warm smile on display as always. "I don't mind, uh to put it simply it's just a nature quirk, I-I can control any of plants around me, especially flowers. I really like flowers," you gushed back towards the end, a bright light in your eyes and a beautiful smile dawning your lips as you looked over to Mirio who could only gleam back too. "Thats so cool! You could definitely become an amazing Hero with that!" "Really?" "Definitely, come on let's go, you gotta meet my friend Tamaki Amajiki, he'll be so excited to meet you!" Mirio grabbed your hand and ran off back to the school, you dragging behind him and noticing how the sun bounced off him as if he were the sun itself. A smile rested upon your face as the warmth continued to spread across your body. In a way, it almost felt, Homey.

_________________________________________

"Hey Mirio?"

"Yeah (Y/N) what's up?"

"Can you promise me that we'll work together as Heros? I don't know what I'd do without you, Tamaki or Nejire,"

Mirio couldn't help but laugh at you, your young, first year of high school face becoming pink as you gazed upon your long time friend and crush. "Of course we'll work together! I couldn't think of anyone more fitting to be my Hero Partner," he posed, a big grin plastered on his face as he looked at you, both of you standing just outside the U.A gates.

"S-So you promise? Anything we do, we do together right? As a team?" You gushed, leaning in towards Mirio who nodded, "Always (Y/N) now come on, the guys won't wait for much longer. We gotta go.." he trailed off, leaning towards you to finish his call out. "Plus Ultra?" You laughed, "No! We gotta go fast! Seriously we gotta go, the train is due to to leave in ten minutes!" He realized, grabbing your hand and rushing off, the same warmth erupting through you again as your hands meet. You sighed contently, nothing could ruin this moment.

Until, we return to the present that is...

_________________________________________

"MIRIO!"

"FORGET ABOUT ME! GET ERI OUT OF HERE!"

"I WONT LEAVE YOU DAMMIT! WE PROMISED TO DO THIS TOGETHER!"

"I KNOW, BUT THIS IS BIGGER NOW! PLEASE (Y/N) JUST GET HER OUT!"

You could barely breathe as you stared at Mirio, his costume torn, his cape draped over Eri who couldn't even move she was so terrified. The blood from Mirio caused your heart to clench at the mere thought of him in pain.

"I WONT LEAVE YOU," You shouted back, leaping from the ledge and landing next to Eri who had tears flowing down her cheeks as she could only stare in fear and uncertainty to both of those who had hurt her and came to help her.

"Oh? A new player has come to join hm?" Chisaki Kai muttered, eyes roaming over your body as you shielded Eri from gaze, Mirio a few feet ahead and breathing heavily. "Ya know I would say if you weren't diseased you'd be very attractive, possibly worth studying with that quirk of yours, Antheia, but you must be cleansed," Chisaki muttered, hands on the ground again as he disassembled and reassembled at a mass rate, you grabbing Eri and dodging as Mirio tried his best to handle Chisaki, his quirk now gone unknown to you.

"Mirio! I'll fight, you take care of Eri," you cried out, nearing Mirio who both dodged and protected you and Eri. "As long as he threatens you, I'll fight," Mirio gritted his teeth, fed up with Chisaki and his twisted ways. Reaching into your pouch, you pulled out a few lavender seeds, throwing them out and activating your quirk, allowing the seeds to grow and blossom, their scent extra powerful to make those around fall asleep. Hoping to get it to Chisaki, you grabbed Mirio at the last second, hand sinched around his hand as you pulled him back a few feet, away from Chisaki who could only chuckle, "nice try, but not good enough," as he assembled a spike behind you, Mirio noticing last second and throwing his body weight to the side, causing your still clasped hands to swing you around, dodging it with Eri still wrapped in your arms, shaking.

Mirio could barely stand, nearly collapsing against you but tried to stay strong. 'I can't back down, not yet. Not until this disgusting man is down and out. I have to protect them,' Mirio thought, adrenaline running high as he glanced at you.

You were a warm becon that filled his life, he's never felt more real, more natural around anyone else but you. You make him want to be better, you make him want to push himself to be himself and no one else. The best he can be. Yet you're standing here, wanting to stand beside him like you've always done, but how can he let you do that knowing you can cost your life too. He wants to be selfish, hide you away from everyone so you won't get hurt. He knows what you're capable of, the power you hide from everyone not wanting to draw attention. Power you've only shown around him through trust and respect outside of school and training. Nows the time to show it to the world.

"(Y/N)" Mirio mumbled next to you, making you glance at him yet still wary of Chisaki. "Deku and Sir should be here soon, lets show Chisaki what we're made of until they get here," he grinned, the stupid grin of his that made tears well up your (E/C) eyes as you nodded, gently placing Eri down behind you, sending her a sweet and strong smile of your own.

What seemed to drag on for hours was only mere minutes of you and Mirio throwing blow after blow and receiving blow after blow from Chisaki. As long as he didn't get Eri you'd be fine. Even as blood dripped down your temple from where you were slammed down and your vision blurred, your only goal was to keep Eri and Mirio safe. Just as Mirios was to keep you and Eri safe.

The next few minutes seemed to blur, between Midoriya and Sir showing up. Your body trying to give out into Sirs hug, the last real hug you never knew you'd ever get from him. The memories blurring as you and Mirio trudged out with Eri in tow. Before you could register what happened, your body dropped to the ground, Eri and Mirios faces of concern being the last you see before darkness consumes.

~~~

Images blur together as you come out of unconsciousness. The strong scent of disinfectant spray and rubbing alcohol makes its way to you, the smell both welcoming and alarming. Opening your eyes you notice Aizawa-Sensei by the door, you slowing attempting to sit up as he walks in, "Aizawa- Sensei! What's going on? Where's Mirio? Eri? Is everyone alright," you gushed out, head suddenly pounding, causing you to groan and grab your head. "Take it easy (L/N), it's alright. You're safe, everyone's safe now," he calmed you down, your head still pounding as you nodded with the new information. "So then, Midoriya, Sir Nighteye, they got Chisaki? Are they recovering from their wounds too?" You asked, looking up at him with (E/C) eyes showing hope that everything can now return to normal once everyone's healed. Yet, as Aizawa looks else where you can't help but ask, "What's wrong? Everyone is okay right?" The words that come out of his mouth next has you up, IVs ripped out as you ran out the room, Aizawa chasing after you.

~~~

Heart pounding in your head, you turn a corner, tripping over your feet sending you tumbling to the ground. Yet you got back up and kept running, catching a green haired boy, also known as Izumi Midoriya, by surprise as you ran up. "Midoriya! Please tell me its not true," you cry, tears welling up as you clench his hands.

He could only stare back at you, his own tears glimmering into his lash line too. "I'm so sorry (L/N)-Senpai, but..S-Sir Nighteye is...is," he couldn't finish the sentence, choking back a sob as your tears run down your face. Letting go of his hands you bring yours to your face, hoping to cover up your pitiful sobs that seem to echo the now quiet hallway. "W-Wheres Mirio?" You choked out, Aizawa now caught up with you. His hand softly grabs your shoulder, curling his arm and bringing you into his chest. He may not be a very affectionate man, but you were one of his more favorite students. Seeing you like this broke his heart. "Lets go this way (L/N). It'll be okay," he mumbled into your hair as he gave your shoulder a squeeze, leading you down the hallway away from Midoriya who was now joined by All Might.

Midoriya and All Might could only stare in sadness as they watched one of the Top 4 students of UA break down. First Mirio as he witnessed Sir Nighteyes passing in person, and now you as you woke up too late to say goodbye and having to realize that you'll never get the chance like they did.

~~~

Aizawa knocked on the hospital door, a silence followed for a few seconds before a soft "Come in," was heard from inside. Opening the door Aizawa saw Mirio sitting on his hospital bed, a smile plastered to his face. "Whats up Eraserhead?" He questioned, almost as if his whole life didn't go up in flames merely 12 hours ago. "Mirio, are you up for a visitor? This person could really use your help right now," Aizawa inquired, hoping that you two could heal eachother like you always seemed to do.

"Sure, who is it?" Mirio asked, head tilt. Aizawa didn't answer, merely turning his head to the doorway where you stood, hospital gown and all. Your eyes red from tears that had slowed down but still hadn't stopped yet.

Mirios face grew concerned, he stood up the best he could and hobbled over to you. Resching his hands out he pulled you into his chest. Your heart breaking all over again as you sobbed into his chest, Mirio tightening his arms around you. Aizawa simply nodded and left, shutting the door behind him.

"It'll be alright, (Y/N). We'll be okay, I promise," Mirio whispered in your ear, your sobs into his chest becoming quiet as he soothed you. "Sir Njghteye deserved so much more," you whimpered out, looking up at Mirio with glossy eyes that pulled at his heart strings. "I know, but we'll get better from here on out," he smiled, his voice soft instead of its usual loud and booming self. "Why are you holding it in Mirio?" You questioned, seeing right through his facade as he tensed. "I've cried my tears, you can let yours out with me it's alright," he promised, yet you could see the guilt, remorse, hurt and pain swirling inside.

You guided him over to the bed, sitting down with him as you took his hands into yours. "You may have cried but that doesn't mean you healed that quick, Mirio," you softly spoke, hand reaching up to graze his cheek softly and cup it. He could only watch mesmerized by your beauty as the morning sun beamed through the window, giving you an even more Homely glow than before. "You can fool them Mirio, but not me,"

His eyes suddenly had a pressure upon them and he couldn't help but clench his fists and eyes in anger and distrsught as he yelled out suddenly in a sob. The grief of not being strong enough to save Sir hitting him at once. The pain of knowing he lost his quirk surrounding his body, becoming heavy. The sudden empty feeling of knowing all those years were sudden lost in a sea and he was drowning.

Your hand caught him by surprise as he looked up, your smile soft and glowing, yet also full of sadness. "Don't hold it up inside. We can face it together," You spoke, his body suddenly tackling you down onto the bed as you gasped, cheeks a soft pink. As he shook, quiet tears pouring down his face he whimpered to you, "(Y/N)..Thank you...Thank you for letting me show my true feelings with you,"

You smiled, hands running through his hair. A soft kiss was placed upon his forehead as he looked up shocked, yet you could only giggle at his pink face. "I know it's not the time, but maybe in a while you'll let me voice my true self too?" You questioned, knowing that the boy healing could maybe have something to be the light at the end of his tunnel. His smile, warm and Homey filled the room again, this time authentic through and through. "Only if you let me voice mine too,"

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Okay sooo. What did yall think? Yes, no? Maybe so? It's been years since I've written anything to please be nice with the critiques 😭🥰 Also can I just say that Mirio is Daddy-O? Like oh my gooddnneesssssss. Also Antheia is Greek for Flower or Blossom so that was your hero name.