#I cant calm down recently at all but i actually feel a little relief now

[125storejuice]

.

[pryllee]

Come and get me.

Content: Yandere/Stalker Ajax, Lil bit of a blowjob, Reader is switch, AFAB reader, "Healing" but its actually not, Masturbation, Toxic relationship, Both are lowkey obsessed, Public(?) sex, Nosebleeds, impregnation, name carving onto skin

Pair: Ajax x Fem! Reader

A/N: Bare with the writing if it's bad since I wrote this like last year, I recently privated it cus I thought it was prob kinda cringe but I lowk like the sex part...

----------------------------------------

part 1 / part 2 (coming soon)

Tears trickled down your cheek, his hand plastered to your neck as you felt him fill you to the brim, legs shaking in ectasy but also with fear. You were so unsure of what to think right now, Struggling to support yourself with your arms clenching onto the wrinkled sheets.

The way you spasmed around him was blissful, your moaning combined with whimpers was such a wonderful melody.

You wish you could fully enjoy it but you felt like a stress relief toy, nevertheless you loved being stretched out by his cock, wrapping around it as if you'd never feel it again.

And you really wished you never would, until now you try to fulfill it.

You ran away, obviously. Ahem, As I was saying, you ran away to a place in Liyue, and rented a small house with the bag of mora you stole from him while sneaking out.

But after a few years, you started to feel lonely, missing how he fucked you so hard, abusing your clit. He did it so often to you to the point you've gotten used to it and became hypersexual.

You hated it. You hated how you missed his touch. You hate how you know he never actually loved you but you tried to assure yourself he'd think about your own health one day.

Beads of water fell down your chin as you rubbed your clit, shoving fingers inside but it never felt enough, as each day passed, you felt yourself getting more and more needy.

Sometimes, you felt eyes on you. But you didnt care. And a few times, it'd feel intriguing to have someone watch you, especially if its him...

You have been hoping every year for him to come and find you, but you were met with disappointment everytime. But this is what you wanted, wasnt it?

Trying to hide this side of yourself fron your friends. "Hey xia..." You sat down, trying to act as normal as you can while clenching onto your thigh to relieve the need. "Hey! I'll get you something on the house this time! It'll be extra special too, after all you are my bestfriend!" She smiled happily, while going onto cook as you watched her from outside. Suddenly Hu Tao pops up scaring you once again.

"Hi! Heard there'll be something on the house, can I have some?" She exclaimed excitedly as Xiangling looked concerned for you and a little annoyed at Hu Tao, but decided to just take it as a joke anyway, "Coming right up!"

"Anyway, I'm gonna start some gossip now, Apparently a harbinger is here again on some business, They've been at every other nation already, I kind of expected this but do you guys maybe know why they're going to every nation especially here now?" She asked whilst smiling.

A harbinger?? Like a fatui harbinger? I wonder if its him... Hes probably forgotten about me by now. Its been years after all.

Your expression faded into a frown.

You had such mixed emotions about him, you love him but you dont, you always think about coming back to him but you're scared. You're scared of just being a stress relief toy again. You want to be something more than tha..–

"Uhm..." You snap from the train of thoughts, as you try to look at Hu Tao you notice someone is blocking the way.

...

"I cant believe we're meeting again! Perhaps fate wants us to be together..." Hu Tao gets up, and defends you by covering you with her arms wide open, "Im sorry, but who are you to her?"

"Shes right! How do you know [Y/N]?!" You felt your heart drop. But also feel a bit of sadness and guilt for him. Tears threatnening to spill like crazy as you try to hold them back. "Calm down, I'm just here to give her something." Cheerfully said, it made you feel disgusted. Nauseous, afraid, relieved. "Its fine...guys—Hes just..." I pause. I want to run away. Why cant I? Whats wrong with me? I hate myself. Im scared.

A few beads of water run down your cheek, as you hear him getting up, your friends completely confused as he wipes your tears, placing something in your hands as he walks away happily. "What the actual fu–" Xiangling rushes to put her palm over Hu Taos mouth. "I think she prefers to not talk about this... –She starts whispering in her ear– Who the actual fuck was that??" she looks at xiangling, an expression saying ’girl what.’

"Its fine, whens the food ready Xia?" The first words are shaky, with your heart thumping like crazy. Trying to calm yourself down, wiping your eyes. "Oh! It should be ready about now!" She stops the fire, Grabbing two plates getting it ready to be served. "Be careful, its super duper hot" She smiled "Xiangling... How much chilis did you add in mine?" Hu Tao smiled fakely with a sarcastic irk mark popping up "U–uhmm.." "GET OVER HERE!!!"

She yelled as she chased Xiangling who started running away. I stare confusedly, before turning to an item Ajax placed in my hands. You flushed red, but you couldn't tell why, because you've finally got your hopes fulfilled, or if you were embarrassed and scared. Ah, this feels repetitive somehow.

As you get home after spending some time with them, you open the box hurriedly he gave as soon as you plopped down on your bed. "Meet me at xxxx-xxx at 9 hihihi^⁠_⁠^" Beneath the note was a pair of lingerie. The box feels a couple of years old, is it because hes been looking for me... or perhaps Im getting my hopes up.

Should I go...? You stare at the ceiling, contemplating it as its already 7. "Its unbelivable he still writes in that shitty way." You chuckle... till you heard rustling from outside a window. You get up so fast, turning to the source. Walking to it while picking up a dagger on your nightstand.

Opening it, to find nothing, but a small camera that fell on a bush and got stuck. You felt sick. Now you were really sure you hate him. Or are you just denying your feelings again? Who knows anymore. You decide to go meet him and confront him.

The location is a fancy restaraunt, so you've also decided to look your best in hopes of meeting a handsome dude during it.

till you've realized after coming inside... he rented the entire place. He smiled, Head resting ontop of his hands, elbows against the table as he admires you.

Scanning your entire body even through the table. "I was expecting you to not show up, How lucky I am!" His cheeriness made you annoyed. "...Lets get to the point. Why did I find this outside my window?" You slam the camera down onto the table. He glances at it, his smile fading away, looking back at you with a dull expression. "Hm..." He placed his hand against his chin, trying to think of something.

Your mouth started to water at how hot he looked for a second as you felt that same need pop up again, blushing a bright red from embarrassment as you sit down, retreating your hand back. "Huh? Whats wrong with you all of a sudden?" To no avail, you dont respond, wiping your mouth. "Hmm... Come here." He pat his leg. Signalling you to come over and sit on his lap.

"Are you crazy? Why would I do that...?" You scoff, "Its not like you have a choice now that you came here, I'm sure you know I dont like resorting to force." "How about you make me?" He annoyingly stares. "You're really making me do it? Fine." He walks over, and you already start to regret it, getting up from your seat and walking to the other side from the table as him.

"I–Ill do it- I'll sit down." You shiver. "Well you're stubborn huh." He sits back down on his seat, Looking at you, and looking back at his lap. You shyly sit down on his lap, feeling scared as you can clearly see he brought a knife with him. One of his arms wraps around you, and the other slides down your thigh as you flush red.

"What if people see us?" Hes nips at your bare neck, making you shiver. Its been so long since you've done it. "Mhm..." He lets you off of his lap, and you start to feel disappointed. Till he signals to go down the table, Just what is he plotting? You decide to go down, its so dark under here,

After all there is a long white cover... you accidentally grab onto his knee, while almost falling down and you feel an arm pull you closer. "Suck it," He demanded. "Hurry up, I'm getting impatient." You gritted your teeth annoyed. You try to find it, and there it is, its practically begging to be let out, its bulging so hard.

You unzip his pants, finally letting it free, as you grip onto it, hearing him grunt a little. You stroke it a few times, Has it gotten larger...? "You slide your mouth up and down it, tasting a bit of precum. "Fuck, Hurry up and put it in your mouth, you dont understand how long I've been waiting ever since you ran away like an idiot."

You try to take it in fully, But you just gag like crazy, coughing and almost hitting your head. An arm reaches out, and pats you as you try again, Taking it in slowly. Tears are frantically falling down, as you start to get more and more wet by the second along with a sore throat. You're having so much trouble because its been years,

it feels so much more girthy, you shove a few fingers down your undergarments, stroking your needy clit, and across your folds your hands are covered with your juices as you already cummed. He grunted some more but he started to sound more and more annoyed till he dragged you out, your perfect hair was ruined,

and you were dripping wet. You were already a mess when you both havent even actually started. He placed you down on his lap, as you felt his abs through the shirt and his dick pressing against your back. He looks up at you as you blush a bright red, your eyes shifting everywhere. "Fuck off, dont look at me like that..." He chuckles, his hand raising to cover his face as he does,

Before he fists his hair into a ball. "Tell me, and dont lie, how long have you wanted my dick inside of you for?" He sucks on a a spot of your breast, while pushing your dress down to reveal it. "For...ever since I ran away." He smiles, "Oh really? Do you need it now?" "Y...–yes.. 'Need it so bad." You bite your lip in frustration, as you try to unbutton his shirt. "Go on, ride me like the whore you are." He feels even harder that before... You move up, placing yourself on his tip, slowly trying to enter as he holds onto your arm to support you. "Hnngh..~...mmn.." As he abruptly pushes you down full, filling you to the brim, you yelp loudly, as you shake like crazy. Trying to take some deeps breathes to process what just happened, "Fucking asshole– Let me take my sweet time." He kisses you on the lips, "Mhm..~ Cant wait anymore longer though, love." Half of his shirts buttons are unbuttoned and you can see his abs along with some scars. His face is so unreasonably attractive when he smiles like that. "Right..." You slowly move up and down, as you start to feel that same euphoria you've been longing for. Your pace fastens, bobbing yourself up and down like crazy. "Haaah!!~ Fuck! Ajax...!!~ S–sso bi—g.." His hand latches onto your ass, digging into its plush, as you feel yourself getting so close, you can feel every hot smooth inch of him after so long. "Fuck... You're such a slut with this pace. This is the first in years we're doing it and you're already cock drunk." He sucks on your breast, moving his hand to your clit, rubbing it in a circular motion and the other pinching your nipple, he leaves hickeys on your chest as you stop to cum, still having him inside of you as he stops rubbing, You fall onto him exhausted,

"Uh-uh we're not done here." He pushes you onto the table having full view of your body as he takes his gloves off, latching onto your waist making you shiver from how cold his hands feel. He leans into kiss you, starting to thrust sloppily as you felt blood trickle down from your nose.

Your moans and whimpers are muffled with the kiss, His tongue swirling with yours as your breast starts to press against his chest, His arm wrapping around your waist and the other wraps around from behind onto your shoulder. You feel yourself close again, his pace starting to quicken with one of his hands moving down to rub your clit again,

his mouth moving away, nipping your lips drawing blood as he sucked on your neck constantly biting parts of your body. You snapped, cumming alot as he did too, his seed spilling out of you down onto the floor, your juices with his cum mixed, as everything was messy, hes even getting you pregnant too. After all, if you concieve his child wont you both get married and stay together forever?

but thats not enough.

He pulls a knife out, dragging it through your skin as you start bleeding and whimper as a reaction to it even when your unconcious. He carves his name into your arm, smiling as he licks the blood after he finishes.

"I love you... I love you... dont ever leave me again... it was so hard..." He burrowed his head into your neck, eyes rolling up as he cooes there, sitting still inside of your unconcious body.

.

.

.

You gasp, waking up with a throbbing headache. looking around you to find Ajax beside you, sleeping peacefully with swollen eyes and a bloodied knife on the nightstand. "Ah... this is my house." You raised your hand to your forehead till you felt the immense stinging pain on your arm, noticing his names been carved in.

"Is he fucking serious?" He suddenly wakes up, still half asleep confused on whats happening. "[Y/N]...? Are you there..?" He rubs his eyes swaying his arms around blindly trying to find you.. "Huhuhu... did you leave me again.." He starts crying again like a child. "Um. I'm right here...?" You take him into your arms, burrowing his head into your chest feeling his tears.

...

He smiles. but in what way?

[writing-in-april]

Pleasant Surprise

Spencer Reid x Female Reader

Summary: Reader asks Spencer if she can try to be more dominant in the bedroom.

A/N: This is my 5th fic for my 750 follower celebration! This one was especially hard for me to finish, I’ve had a massive headache all day 🤕 it was also hard because this reader is definitely very different to how I am in real life. I hope you guys do enjoy it I tried really hard to make sure I could finish it today. Thank you @spencers-dria again for fueling all my sub Spencer fics this week and giving me this idea!!

Warnings: 18+, Reader is a bit nervous at first, Use of the name Bunny (F), Spencer is tied up, Hand job, Sex toy (wand vibrator M receiving), Edging

Main Masterlist Word count: 1.4K

“Hey Spencer?” You called from the bedroom of your apartment with Spencer just a little bit nervously, you couldn’t lose your nerve. it was now or never.

“Yes, bunny? What is it?” You always blushed a little everytime Spencer used that nickname, inside and outside the bedroom. Usually, Spencer was the dominant one in the bedroom. Recently however, you had been fantasizing what it would be like to have him underneath you for a change. You had been wondering endlessly how he would react. Would he beg for you quickly? Or would he be stubborn? Would he be a brat? Or would he be a good boy for you?

The questions wouldn’t stop bouncing around in your head and you finally decided that you needed to ask him if he would let you test it out. Your resolve dimmed just a little as Spencer entered the bedroom after you had not responded immediately.

“W-well I was wondering…”

“Wondering what?” He looked concerned now, his eyebrows raised high as he made his way to sit next to where you sat on the bed.

“I was wondering if maybeyouwouldletmedominateyou?” You rushed out, faster then even Spencer normally spoke when he was especially excited about something.

“Could you say that again I didn’t quite catch that.” He was probably thinking that there was a much more serious thing going on, you felt kind of bad that you unnecessarily worried him. Hopefully, you could actually get the words out, instead of worrying poor Spencer anymore, he already worried enough as is.

“I-I was wondering… If maybe you would let me dominate you?” Even if Spencer said no to your request, you were proud of yourself for finding the words to ask.

“Th-that’s not what I was expecting you to ask me…” He wrung his fingers while he stuttered, however he wasn’t rejecting you, he looked intrigued if anything.

“But, would you be interested in it Spencer?” You bit your lip in anticipation, pretty sure that he was probably interested just by reading his immediate reaction to your request. His eyes were focused intently on you with his pupils blown wide and when you looked at his slacks you could tell that they were tightening slightly.

“Yes.” Once he had confirmed that this was something that he wanted, your confidence returned, and you were ready to unleash all your thoughts onto Spencer.

“You’ll let me know if it’s too much?” He snickered a little at your worry, probably thinking that you weren’t even going to get close to his threshold. However, you had some pretty extreme plans up your sleeve.

“Of course, bunny.”

—-

You now had him laying down on the bed completely naked, legs spread and a tie he no longer really used knotted around his wrists bound to the bed frame. Spencer’s eyes were wild and desperate already with his cock hard leaking precum all over his belly. You hadn’t even really touched him yet besides a few kisses. Spencer definitely wasn’t expecting you to be this prepared.

Grabbing the lube and opening it you then dripped it over his leaking cock, making sure to make a show of it before wrapping your hands around his length. You started to jerk him slowly, barely even really brushing over the skin causing Spencer to let out a beautiful high pitched whine.

“Does that feel good baby?” You teased, knowing it wasn’t nearly enough for any kind of relief, really only serving to spread the lube around. Then you moved your mouth down near his cock letting your hot breath hit him while you continued your lazy hand movements.

“Bunnyyy- Bunny, Will you please let me touch you?!” Before you had started, you had asked him to still call you bunny, finding it quite amusing how he was begging for mercy so easily while using a moniker normally associated with submissives. You hummed and thought about his request for a moment while he writhed in desperation underneath you.

“No, I don’t think you’re nearly desperate enough for me yet. We’ve only just started.” He was most definitely one to beg easily, after all you had only been jerking his cock for a minute before he had already started pleading. You continued to pull pleas from him, only speeding up slightly when you wanted to make his moans just a little bit louder. When you could tell he was going to cum soon you pulled away, his hips bucking up off the bed

“Please! Bunny- free me, let me touch you! You know I’ll make it feel good!” His pleas did little to convince you, you still had so much planned. You then went under your bed to pull out your secret weapon. Your hitachi magic wand. The wand was normally used by Spencer to edge you and you thought it was time for a little bit of payback.

“Remember to let me know if it's too much for you, Spencer.” You said as you made your way back to him armed with the rechargeable vibrator. Spencer’s eyes were wild as he nodded in confirmation.

It roared to life when you pressed the power button, then you brought it to his cock lightly while you sat on top of his thighs. When you started to focus the vibrations at the head of his cock his thighs started to shake under you and his eyes rolled back.

“Remember to ask for permission.” Taunting him evilly while you turned up the vibrations to a slightly higher setting.

“I cant- I cant, I’m gonna cum!” He cried, with involuntary tears now rolling down his cheeks.

“Hold it. If you hold it just for a few more seconds I’ll let you touch me.” He let out an unexpected growl at your command, causing the fire in your belly to be stoked just a little bit more. He probably expected to be allowed to take over when you freed him, but you weren’t going to give up control that easily.

After the few seconds were up, you removed the wand from his aching cock. He jerked around again in frustration after being edged for the second time, but he’d soon be happy that he successfully held it. Once he started to come back from the edge you reached forward to undo the knot of the tie and he breathed a sigh, relieved that he was free.

When he tried to flip you over to enact his own little revenge you held your ground, the only way you were going to let him fuck you is if you were on top. You gripped his jaw between your fingers and pulled his face up close to yours, then making him look directly before speaking, “Remember I’m in charge tonight. I get to be on top or you don’t get to fuck me. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Bunny. I understand... Can you please fuck me?” You let go of his face after he spoke, letting him hit the back of his pillows harshly before giving him some relief by sinking down on his cock.

You weren’t gentle as you started to roll your hips into his own, loving the feeling of Spencer’s cock dragging through your walls. Spencer was crying underneath you, begging for you to let him cum as he gripped your hips hard.

“You only get to cum after I do.” You growled out while slamming your hips down harshly, causing a squeak to fall from him. Luckily for Spencer, it didn’t take long for your own orgasm to come over, helped by him rubbing your clit in quick circles. It was a long and powerful one, coming over in waves that had you moaning out loudly as well. Spencer was finally going to get what he had been desperate for.

“Alright, you can cum.” All you had to do was say those simple words and Spencer exploded inside of you. His moans were so loud while he rode it out that you were sure you guys were going to get a complaint in the morning.

After you both had come down a little you made sure to do a similar aftercare routine that Spencer did for you when he dominated you- cleaning him up, massaging his wrists with lotion, getting him some fresh clothes, and especially making sure to cuddle him up tight. Just before you were about to fall asleep Spencer asked you, “You were really good at that bunny, that was a pleasant surprise. Can you do it again sometime?”

—-

Tag list (message me if you want to be added):

All works:

@shotarosleftpinky

Spencer Reid/CM

@calm-and-doctor @destiny-tsukino @safertokiss

Sub Spencer

@thatsonezesty13 @pastathighs @virtualpeanutartisanjudge

[absolutelyfizzing]

I’m sorry, m’ love 

Professor Remus x Muggle!Reader (gn)

requested by @lehuntsworld- professor!Remus lupin with a reader that has tics and just kinda how they go throughout their regular days, and maybe a scene where the reader is tic-ing a ton and is super exhausted with it, but obviously can't stop. gender neutral reader.

Warning - unbearable fluff. not super accurate to the timeline. frustration and tiredness

Word count - 1600 ish?

A/N -  This takes place in the year that Remus teaches at Hogwarts but without much of the dark horrifying parts of the year. I made this romantic, wasn't sure if that was the intention from the request! it also wasn't a part of the request but I made this a Muggle reader! let me know if I should include a warning because I know focusing on tics can make them worse! This is based off of someone I know that has tics and their frustrations, I'm sure that they vary by person and if this feels really wrong or uneducated or anything, let me know.

MASTERLIST

You were thrilled Remus was back from Hogwarts, he had decided to spend winter break home so that he could spend time with you. He knew that it was hard on you for him to be away teaching during the year, only getting short visits and letters instead of having him home. It was hard on him too and he missed you especially during the full moons. He had also heard through your letters that your work had been rather hard in recent days. Your workload increased and you had to work unpaid overtime. You weren't having a great time with your coworkers and you really just missed Remus.

Thats why you were so thrilled that he would be home during winter break, even if you didn't have it off with him. It was the 2 weeks surrounding Christmas so there would eventually be a few days when neither of you were working. Today, however, was not one of those days. It was early in Remus' stay and you were sad to leave him for work, already anticipating a rough day ahead. Still, you savored the morning. You had tics, mostly just motor and there were specific ones that persisted. At any time in the day you might be twitching your nose, jerking your head, or blinking more often than you needed to. These would start in the morning but in ways that didn't bother you too much. It was just a part of your life and it had been for a long time. Recently though, with the increase of stress at work, they had gotten a bit worse.

Remus was the greatest with your tics. He knew not to mention them unless you wanted to talk about them and to try to help you relax when they got worse. You sipped on you tea, your nose scrunching up uncontrollably occasionally but nothing you couldn't deal with. You were moderately relaxed and not too stressed so they weren't bothering you too much. Remus sat on the counter across the kitchen from you and he smiled lovingly at you from there. You were catching each other up on any new updates within the order or about Hogwarts.

"Well, I should tell you that Fred and George have started to develop some pranking products." Remus muttered and you chuckled lightly.

"They are hilarious, I'm sure?" you questioned and Remus rolled his eyes but you could see the smirk still on his face.

"I suppose they would be funny to some but they are often not as fun for the victim." Remus spoke firmly but you could tell he was trying not to laugh.

"What do they do?"

"The newest one is a chewing gum that makes the chewer's words come out in a different language." He said and you both stayed silent for a moment before bursting out into laughter. Your eyes were watering and you nearly spilled your tea.

"Oh, I cant wait to see them use some of those." you laughed genuinely. You thought the twins had real promise in their inventions and you were excited to see what they would pull off in the future. You loved everyone in the order and you were fascinated by every witch or wizard you met. You were a muggle, as Remus would say, and you couldn't get enough of every part of the wizarding world that you could get your hands on. You were especially close with Arthur Weasley who loved to quiz you on your world and upbringing and was perfectly happy to answer the multitude of questions that you had right back.

Remus loved that you got along with the people he knew, they were very important to him but so were you. He often let you know how lucky he felt to have met someone as understanding and caring as you were. You had no issue with Remus' condition either, taking it all in stride.  

A glance at the clock on your kitchen wall let you know that you had to leave for work, your head jerked to the side quickly and you winced a bit at the pang that went through your neck for a moment. With a kiss goodbye to Remus and a final gulp of your tea you were out the door, hoping for a smooth day considering the great morning you had just had.  

You were, unfortunately, not given the joy of an easy day. Instead your day was filled with snide remarks from coworkers, extra work you would have to take home, and a notice that your request for a raise was not approved. You went home that night feeling defeated and it showed in your body. The stress of having this work to do once you reached the house had escalated your tics, your eyes now blinking largely and it bothered you. Your neck was slightly sore from the way that it had been getting jerked around today and your nose was even a bit irritated from how many times you had involuntarily scrunched it up.

As soon as you entered your home, Remus could tell that your day had not gone as well as you would have hoped.

"What do you need?" he just questioned quietly and sweetly, coming up to you and removing your coat while kissing your cheek.

"Could you make dinner and maybe make me tea, please?" You asked, you had learned that Remus actually enjoying doing things for you when you didn't feel well because it gave him something to do. It also made him feel better about all of the times that you had had to take care of him after full moons.

"Of course, darling." He muttered and kissed the top of your head before heading into the kitchen to get started on your tea and you moved toward the living room to get started on the work that you would have to do tonight. Just the thought stressed you out and you knew it was going to be a long one.

Nearly two hours later you were surrounded by warm light, a blanket on your shoulders, and tea in front of you that Remus continuously was refilling with more hot water. You were getting increasingly frustrated by the work that sat in front of you and your tics were really starting to bother you. Remus was sitting nearby reading, keeping a watchful eye on you in case he needed to take care of anything. He could tell you were exhausted and he wanted to make it better however he could. He thought you might even get done soon, the pile of paper in front of you dwindling, but he knew you were about ready to quit working for the night.

Your nose would not stop twitching and your neck HURT from the way it had been twisted during the day and through the evening. Thinking about it only made it worse and soon you could feel tears prick your eyes and you tried desperately to will yourself to stop. You'd tried this many times in your life but it had never once worked.

Remus caught on that you were about to break so he stood quickly and walked over to where you sat. He pulled out your chair and crouched in front of you, noting the tears threatening to fall from your watery eyes.

"Hey, love. Can I get you over to the couch?" He asked lightly and you nodded sadly. Remus knew that sometimes walking in a straight became more difficult when you couldn't keep your head looking forward so he gently helped you stand and led you over to your large couch. He sat first and then pulled you down to where you were sitting in between his legs. He held you around your waist and you curled into him, allowing enough space for your head to move freely so you didn't hurt it more. Your eyes hurt from how hard you were blinking and there were now a few tears streaming down your face.

"I just want it to stop long enough for me to get my work done." You whispered and Remus hummed behind you.

"I'm sorry, m' love. I know it must be frustrating" he mumbled. You had told him once that you didn't like when people tried to give you advice bout it. It wasn't something that you had any real control over and people trying to fix your tics made you feel like there was something wrong with you. There wasn't, it was just a little extra tiring and frustrating during your day. You took some deep breaths and relaxed into the calm man beneath you.

After what you guessed to be about 15 minutes your tics had slightly lessened and Remus was still calmly rubbing your back in soothing circles. You sighed in slight relief that your head was no longer getting jerked to the side and you were blinking normally. You turned your body so you were facing Remus and your moved to bury your face in his chest.

"I love you." He heard you say, the words sounding muffled from how hard your face was pressed against his chest. He chuckled a bit and just kissed the top of your head.

"I love you too."

[innittowinit]

Abandoned amusement parks are the best place for young children  (chapter 21)

Fic summary:

Techno, Tommy, Wilbur and Phil have been hanging out at the abandoned amusement park in the woods since they moved in. Techno likes knowing he's definitely alone with his brothers Tommy likes climbing on the old rides Wilbur likes having a place to play his music Phil likes spending time with his younger brothers

That is, until a group of brothers calling themselves the 'dream team' move in down the road. Will the sleepy boys give in and share the park or will they succeed in scaring the new kids off?

Chapter summary:

sometimes school gets tough but friends are always there to lend a hand right?

Chapter word count: 1433

AO3

Yeah… It was starting to get a little obvious that Eret was avoiding them, when they had passed him a note in science he immediately bunched it into his pocket, when they tried to catch him between lessons he acted like he was in a rush and when they tried to find him at break it was like he had just vanished into thin air. Wil wasn’t stupid. He had been suspicious since the texts started to diminish but now it was pretty much just a plane fact, as much as it pained him to admit, he had hoped this time would be different and they could actually keep a friend for once but he guessed that was just wishful thinking.

Really, it wasn’t common for Wil to be the one zoning out in class, that was definitely more something Techno would do, but of course anyone would be a little distracted if they were trying to figure out friendship issues when they were so inexperienced. Maybe that’s why he hadn’t noticed Techno tugging on his sleeve at first.

A little flashcard was slid across the desk, a note from his brother it seemed. ‘Can we leave for a bit? I need a break’

Obviously, the note had to be short to fit on the small piece of paper, plus it wasn’t necessarily needed considering Wil could usually understand the problem from the tugging alone. Not wanting a repeat of the ticket-booth incident, Wil scrambled in his pocket for a little laminated slip of paper, hopping up and quickly going to the teacher’s desk to place it before ushering his brother out of the room.

Recently, the staff had been trying to help them a little more, Wil thought it definitely seemed like their therapist had emailed them or something by the looks of it, that or they had noticed how shaken up Wil had been recently and wanted to try and be as accommodating as possible. That being said, recently they had each been given a little pass that could let them leave the classroom without question if they gave it to a teacher, meaning they’d no longer be getting in trouble every time one of them was just having an overall bad day and wasn’t able to deal with that environment.

Once out of the room, Wil breathed a sigh of relief and started to lead Techno down to an empty classroom where they could hopefully talk about why the card had to be used.

Now that they were alone, Techno was visibly more comfortable, going forward to sit on one of the desks as he fiddled with his ponytail. More often than not, there wasn’t some big emotional gesture whenever they left, sometimes a TA would come and find them with some work they could be doing on their own but generally they seemed to understand that sometimes they weren’t in a state to be doing the work.

“Are you okay then?” Wil hummed as he hopped up to sit on the desk too, flopping backwards a bit. “I think that’s the first time I remembered to give the card in first”

“I’m okay, just a lot of noise in there” A sigh escaped his lips as he leaned his head on Wilbur’s shoulder, gently pushing Wil’s thigh a little bit away from his own since having thing’s touching him when he hadn’t consciously decided for it never really helped with sensory overload. As always though, Wilbur was understanding, always trying to be careful with Techno whenever he needed a break.

“I was thinking..” Techno had hummed “we can just like...talk to Eret, right? Like if we tell him it’s important and that we noticed he’s been running off lately, no way he’d just leave then, Right?”

Wilbur gave a solem little nod, appearing to finally accept the reality that maybe they had messed up and pushed their friend away. With a little bite onto the inside of his cheek, it was obvious that he was mulling over their past few interactions, searching and scanning for any kind of answer for how they might have hurt him.

“We need to meet up with Dream and his lot after school though so maybe we should leave it till tomorrow? I know Phil will be there but I don't want to risk getting all emotional again”

With another nod, Wilbur took out his phone, tapping on the old arrow buttons until he got to Eret’s contact, just wanting to review what they had said to him once more.

---

Message history:

Saturday 7:34 PM Eret: *Image attachment* Eret: Reminded me of you two lol

               Wilby Soot: Much agreed, Much agreed Wilby Soot: Hang out later?

Eret: Cant, busy :/ Another time

       Monday 4:45 PM Wilby Soot: Tech wants to know if you’re gonna play mc with him

Eret: Homework UGH Eret: Busy man sorry :/

       Tuesday 8:58 PM Wilby Soot: Let us know if we overstepped any boundaries okay x Wilby Soot: We aren’t really used to this stuff, we care abt you tho

---

It felt a bit depressing to be looking over all the old messages, the feeling was akin to when you eat too much and wake up in the middle of the night feeling super nauseous.

Alas though, life never seemed to go easy on the two brothers as the door to the door to the empty classroom’s door swung right open. At first, Wil had thought it was a teacher coming to deliver some work for them to do but as he heard the familiar sound of yelling and laughter, he soon realised the much more likely reality of it being a group of boys who were skipping class.

Quickly, fight or flight seemed to kick in, letting him shuffle back over to Techno and grab hold of his hand, just in case. It was pretty much a given that they were going to be getting made fun of, sure the majority of students left them alone now, taking about them behind their back at worst, but the kind of guys who carelessly skipped without any reason definitely felt like the type that would tease them for being so close. They didn’t understand. They wouldn’t understand. They just hadn’t experienced life like they had.

The mantra repeated in his head as he controlled his breathing, forcing his eyes to the floor as he waited to be laughed at. This wasn’t exactly a rare occurrence but that didn’t mean it was all nice and fine, he just had to keep himself calm, for Techno, he couldn’t let his brother be stranded without someone who could interpret for him.

The laughter had pretty much died down as the group came to stand in front of them, seemingly now aware of their presence in the classroom, but the teasing didn’t start straight away. Certainly, this felt like something strange so Wilbur gingerly lifted his head back up only to be met with the familiar tall frame of his friend.

“Eret?”

Surrounding him there was a group of other boys who all seemed to carry themselves in a similar vein, all very stylish and put together, a stark contrast to the twin’s hand-me-down clothes and patchwork sewing spots. Wilbur couldn’t really identify all of the boys, some were from their Year but some looked a bit older, maybe year 9’s or year 10’s.

“Uh...hi. Guys, this is Wilbur and Techno...I uh.. I know them from class”

The familiar sound of muttering was echoed around the room as the boys seemed to try and decide what they were going to do with them. Predictably, it was all the usual ‘oh they’re the quiet ones’ ‘The tall one is really clingy’ stuff, at first it would hurt them but they’d grown a pretty thick skin by now, they didn’t really care about what a bunch of random guys thought of them.

They didn’t care. It didn’t matter. They were used to it.

They didn’t care and it definitely didn’t hurt that Eret hadn’t introduced them as friends and it absolutely absolutely didn’t hurt at all that these were the people he was hanging out with.

“Dude, these your little friends, man?” One of the heftier boys had laughed, elbowing Eret in the ribs lightly as he teased him. That didn’t hurt either, their affection and friendship being used as an insult.

Eret looked at them for a couple seconds, expression unreadable.

“Man no way! I wouldn’t be caught dead hanging out with them!”

Oh..

Oh wow.

Okay fuck.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck

[shanlulu-writing]

Levi x Reader I am all yours - Part 3

So here is the next part. Woohoo! This one has been quite hard to write as my CFS has really kicked in, but its here at least. This one is just filling out the next chapter. I hope you like, please comment and let me know your thoughts. You know I love it when you do. Thank you to all those who have supported me so far in writing this, and I will be back on it as soon as I start feeling better. Much love to you all xxx WARNING - Swearing from the outset. Part 3 “Ahem, Levi. A word.” The kiss stopped, and you turn your head to see Erwin. You watch Levi walk off still giving you an angry glare.

What the actual fuck?

You take a deep sigh of relief as you see them walk away. You needed air, to blow everything that had just happened away and you make your way outside. He kissed you. As in 'full on kissing' kissing, what the hell was that about? Your brain hurt as you try to come up with a reason for the way he was acting. It was so conflicted. On one hand he was a complete fucking maniac, and yet he had tried made sure you were okay in his own weird little way.

Were the rumours right? You couldn't think like that. He had treated you so badly, you couldn't possibly forgive him for what he had done. If you hadn't defended yourself you wouldn't be alive now. You were sure of that.

The wind blew around you as you reach the courtyard. You really should have put your cloak on before you came out. You wrap your arms around you as you walk along the path and you hear the horses whinny as the wind rattles the doors of the stables. You deviate from your undecided destination, and steal yourself inside. It was fairly warm in here, the horses paced around, obviously feeling unsettled. You speak calmly to them, giving each a pat or stroke, and you notice that it seems to soothe them.

Helping them calm down settled your nerves, and you walk past Captain Levi's horse, its dark eyes staring at you blankly. Like owner like horse. You watch him intently, and he whinnies again as another gust bashes against the walls. So it was his horse that was getting all flustered because of the wind. You slowly open the door to his berth, and walk over to him. He was nervous, so you talk to him in hushed tones, sending him reassurance, and you pat his side. He really was a beautiful horse, and definitely cream of the crop. You feel him shivering, and you frown, the horses should have been accustomed to the cold by now, they were bred for it, among other things. Searching round you find his winter coat, throw it over his back and fasten it round his neck. He looks at you and you sense he is thanking you. You were definitely going mad, the horse would start talking to you in a minute. You stroke his mane and pick up a brush and gently groom him.

“Its okay boy, I feel the cold too.” He shakes his head and nibbles at your jacket, you laugh as it takes you by surprise. “Haha, I don't think that's very tasty.” He nuzzles against your side, and you stroke his forehead lovingly. It was true, animals really did know how to make you feel better.

“He likes you.” You look up from where you were standing, and watch as the familiar figure walks towards you.

“Thanks.” You say flatly, not wanting to speak to him. “I hope you had a nice chat with Erwin.”

“I wouldn't call it that. He wasn't very happy, especially when I told him how much trouble you had been.” You pause what you're doing, and glare at him, just fucking typical for him to completely twist things in his favour. You look away from him and keep petting the horse, you weren't going to dignify him with a response. Captain Levi seemed to become annoyed at your silence, but you didn't care, he was not worth the effort. “Tsk. I forgot to mention you have no fucking manners.”

“Okay, did you also mention you have been a complete and utter jerk the past few months, and, oh, that you tried to kill me?” You feel you anger rising again, you had tried so hard to keep it under wraps, but he just knew how to piss you off. He just stares at you his eyes hard, face unmoving and he shrugs.

“That is neither here nor there.”

“You have got a fucking nerve. You treat me like shit for as long as I have been here, punish me at every given opportunity, try to kill me, isolate me from my friends and then on top of that you have the fucking audacity to think you have a right to kiss me. I mean, how fucking dare you!” You shake as the adrenaline rages through your body. Picking up one of the grooming brushes from the shelf you throw it at him, he anticipates your move, and elegantly moves out the way. The brush makes its way to the doorway and narrowly misses the new occupant of the stables.

“Commander Erwin. I-” You quickly apologise before being cut off.

“That is quite enough (last name).” He walks further into the stables and casts Levi a knowing, disdainful glance from the corner of his eye. “I hear that you two have been causing a fair amount of trouble.” You stand there feeling extremely ashamed of yourself, only turning to anger when you see Captain Levi's eyes smirking victoriously. “That includes you Levi. You have been running this poor girl through the ringer. I think the least you can do is apologise, don't you?” The Captain's eyes widen at being openly reprimanded and he looks to Commander Erwin with a look of pure astonishment. Erwin motions to you with his eyes, and you hear Captain Levi growl as he turns back to you.

“I apologise Cadet (Last name)” You hold a smirk back when you notice he said it with gritted teeth; you find it so highly amusing, you have to put a hand over your mouth to cage a laugh. Erwin gives you a sideways smile, he seems to be enjoying this as well.

“Come, Levi. Why so formal? You weren't so proper when you had her pinned up against the wall a few minutes ago.” You choke on air and feel your cheeks burning. Did he really just say that? You dart your eyes to the Captain. You see a faint hue of pink on his cheeks, and he bows his head to cover his eyes.

“Of course, Erwin. (First name), is that adequate?” You can sense from his sullen tone that he was feeling very uncomfortable, you totally knew how that felt. It was strange hearing your name being said by him, you preferred it a lot more to brat or idiot. Why did Erwin draw attention to how he found you? Why did he even mention it? Was it his way of pulling Captain Levi into line? Either way, all of this was a complete revelation to you. The Captain obviously respected Erwin, that much was evident, you didn't think that he would bow down to anyone else like this.

“It will do. Now (last name). I wanted to have a word with you.” You gulp, and nod cautiously. “I hear that you did very well in your training the other day. In fact not only did you best Kirstein, you bested Levi too.” You hear him chuckle.

“I wouldn't say that” Captain Levi retorted.

“I would. From all reports; she was completely incapacitated due to being in a suppressive choke hold, and still managed to disable you. At the end of the day Levi, she was the last one standing, she won that match fair and square.” He looks back to you. “Honestly, I never thought I would see the day that Levi got beaten by one of our new recruits.” This brought a reaction from Levi that was halfway between a scoff, and choking on his own ego. “Either way, due to your impressive display, I wanted to ask you personally for your participation in our next mission.” You eyes widen.

“It is only a small operation, a four man team needs to go one of our outposts, not far from here, and pick up some of Hanji's notes that she left behind from our last mission. It shouldn't pose too much danger, and I am sure that you will be able to handle it. It would also mean that you go into the same ranks as Jaegar, Alert and Kirstein etcetera.”

Your mouth gapes, does this mean you were effectively being promoted from newbie status? There was so much to think about. He was serious, he wanted you to go on a mission, and go out there with the titans. You may even get your wish of being trodden on by a Titan after all.

“I don't think that is such a good idea.” Captain Levi interjects, there is something in his eyes which you cant make out, he seems agitated with the news, and on all accounts, quite panicked. He flits his eyes to you, almost assessing what your answer will be and you just stand there not really sure what to say or do. “She doesn't have enough field training for this!”

“Well, that is the reason why you will be heading the team Levi. However, I do think she is more than capable of holding her own. She has already shown us that she doesn't flinch when it comes to her being face to face with a titan. She has good accuracy with her blades and is one of the better balanced ones with the 3dmg.”

He would be coming with you? You finally thought that you had found safety in Erwin, but he was throwing you out to the wolves again. You sigh and nod, at least he acknowledged your hard work. You watch Captain Levi, was he angry again? You see his fist clench and release again. What was he pissed about now? Because he would be working with you? Or that it had been made official that you beat him in a fight?

“Ah, also, Levi, even though you will be heading this team. I think it would be best to see it as a four man squad, rather than a trio with a leader. I would like to see you go out there as equals, I think after the recent displays, it would be best to show the cadets that you aren't, how did you put it (last name)? Yes that's it, 'a complete jerk'.” You chuckle, something about Erwin saying it, made it even funnier. Captain Levi glares at you from underneath his eyebrows, which you ignore, turning your head to look at anything else.

“Tsk.” Is that all he really had to say? You could see that there was something more going on here. What it was, you were definitely not privy to. Go out as equals? Erwin wanted to make sure that he couldn't use his rank against you? It was a dangerous plan at any rate, you weren't going to be safeguarded by anyone else.

“Commander? Who else will be going on the mission?” You ask meekly. You almost wanted him to say Eren, though in the same breath, maybe it wasn't such a good idea. Eren was so protective, and Captain Levi was so, well... Levi, that there would be more danger from them than the titans.

“I have selected Blouse and Kirstein. They need a little more field experience, but they are solid team themselves. No, Levi; I do not want any more arguments from you. I have already told you once, I will not repeat myself. Do not make me embarrass you further today.”

You watch as Captain Levi drags his teeth over his bottom lip in an attempt to stop himself from snapping back at his Commander. They had obviously had some harsh words when Erwin had dragged him off. The thought of having to spend time with him officially worried you, but orders were orders, and at least you had Sasha and Jean with you.

“One more thing. I think it would be best for both of you to cool off. Stay away from each other for a few days, the mission is in three days time, so try your best to steer clear of each other.” What a strange request, but you felt it was actually a very good idea, it meant you had space to talk and be with your friends and get some sort of normality back before venturing out. Commander Erwin turns on his heels and leaves you alone with Captain Levi.

“Well your horse seems to have calmed down now, so I'll get going.” You walk past him, making your way as quickly as possible. He catches you arm firmly and you turn to him in surprise.

“Don't do anything stupid.” You look at him in puzzlement. “I mean it, Br.... (first name)” He lets go of you and then makes his own way out of the stables leaving you more confused than when you had entered. He had called you by your first name again, you hated to admit it but you rather liked how it sounded coming from him. Strangely it gave you a weird sense of acceptance, even if the first time had been forced and probably meant anything but.

You shut the door behind you and scan the area for your teammates, and find they were sitting in the courtyard chatting. The wind had died down, and the sun was peeking weakly through the clouds. You couldn't help but smile at them, they really had showed you how much they cared, even Mikasa, she had bothered to ponder about a situation you were in and given it real thought. That was something quite phenomenal.

“(first name)!” You hear Armin beckon you over. You make your way over to them, and sit down on the wall just behind them. The faces looking at you were mixed with anticipation and worry, you laugh at your audience.

“You will never guess what happened!” You stop, you weren't going to tell them about the kiss, no way. “I think Erwin ripped Mr Stick-up-his-Ass a new one!” You couldn't help but giggle as you hear the gasps sound around you.

“So what did he say?”

“I didn't hear the actual conversation, but Captain Levi tried to make out that it was me causing all the problems. I don't think Erwin believed him though. They both spoke to me in the stables, and he made the Captain apologise.”

“What?! He knows how?” Sasha squealed, she really was excitable. “What happened next?”

“Please tell me he got kicked by a horse” Eren asked dismissively, you look at him with a heavy heart, he really wasn't happy.

“No Eren, he didn't, something much better. Erwin asked me to go on a mission to pick up Hanji's notes in a four man squad.”

“Yeah, we got told about that last night. Didn't realise you were coming along with us.” Jean commented, seemingly as uninterested as Eren.

“But did he tell you that even though the Captain is coming, he isn't leading us?” That made everyone stop what they were doing and pay undivided attention to you. “He has been told in no uncertain terms that we are to all go as equals.”

“WHAT!?” The chorus was hilarious to your ears.

“You don't mean that he isn't going to be bossing us about all mission?” Sasha asks in disbelief.

“That's exactly what I mean. You have no idea how pissed the Captain was!” You laugh again, the whole situation made you feel like you were soaring through the sky, you felt so happy, you had all your friends around you and you finally have one up on Mr Bipolar.

“I still don't like it. You are going to be alone with him and away from any help, he could easily pull the same stunt over again and leave you out there to die.” You sigh as you notice Eren standing with his arms folded, you hop off the wall and rub his arm. “Eren, it will be okay. I have Jean and Sasha with me. Nothing will happen. I promise.”

“I hope for your sake it doesn't.” You roll your eyes and sit down with Sasha and Jean to talk about the upcoming mission, and go over the details that they had already been given.

~

It had been a long day, and you were curled up in your bed. Most of the girls were already asleep, and you stare blankly at the wall, thinking on everything that had happened. Every reasoning about how the Captain had acted just left more questions, it was hopeless. You shift, tucking your feet further into the covers, when you feel your mattress dip, your covers lift up and someone slip into the bed next to you. You whip your head round in fear, when you see Sasha's familiar face looking at you and you relax.

“Hey. There was something I wanted to ask you.” She whispers in an attempt to not to wake the others. “It feels like you left something out of your story earlier. What was it?” You grimace, you really didn't want to let anyone know what really happened. If she knew and anyone found out you would have to explain something that you didn't understand; not something you wanted to do.

“Sasha, just leave it.” You murmur.

“No, I can tell its eating you up. You gave me your dinner, that's not like you at all.” You sigh, you can see real concern in her eyes, this must be what having a friend feels like.

“Okay. Don't freak out. He kissed me.” She gasps, and you put a finger to your mouth to quiet her. “It was really weird, like he did it because he was so angry with me.” You continue to whisper. “ I don't know why he did it so don't ask me why. Erwin caught us, just before he pulled him aside.”

“Oh my god! I cant believe it.” You try to hush her again.

“You must keep this to yourself. I don't want to have to explain everything to people, so please, please don't say anything!” You can see her eyes shining and her mindless grin even in the darkness.

“I promise, I promise. Did you like it?” You are completely caught off guard with the question. Had you? You had been shocked but you hadn't really given the experience much thought. You could say it was fairly passionate, he was pissed off for one thing, but he had pinned you up against the wall, and had kissed you quite forcefully. You feel your body shiver at the thought and pull the covers over yourself further, hoping it is the cold night air.

“I don't know.” Your brain was desperately trying to keep up with all the thoughts running round your head. On the logical side of your brain you were still angry with the way you had been treated, you were scared of him, and quite rightly. On an emotional level, your thoughts were not so clear, that kiss -even being as rough as it was- had played on your mind since it happened.

“Well either which way, I think he likes you, even if he is really crap expressing it.”

“That's putting it mildly.” You laugh under your breath.

You talk about the impending mission for a little while longer, Sasha retreats to her own bed and as you drift off to sleep your thoughts are filled with the Captain.

~

Three days later....

You had slept badly, your slumber filled with tense dreams that you couldn't remember. You had woken early, and checked that all your belongings were packed. You had dressed and made your way to the stables to check on your horse and load the small bags with your packed items. You munched on the small breakfast that you had prepared for yourself, you were leaving early anyway, and would have missed the morning meal in the mess hall.

You go to sit down by the lake on the far side of the courtyard. It was very quiet, with the odd bird tweeting in the distance. You watch, as the horizon turns from a beautiful orange, to a pale pink as the sun creeps its way up from the land and into the sky. You smile at the sight, it really was quite breath taking. You hear footsteps behind you, but you don't look to see who it is, you didn't care, you were enjoying your view far too much.

“It really makes you feel human doesn't it?” Captain Levi stands beside you; it wasn't really a question, more of a statement. “No matter what happens, the sun will rise and set, completely disregarding the world it shines down on.” You don't answer but you nod. As deep as it was, he was right. Things move on and the world still turns, even if people die.

“What's gotten into you?” You say after a few minutes of silence. “You planning on dying today Captain.”

“Not if I can help it. I would prefer it if you didn't try to kill me with your incompetency on the field.” You growl at the comment, there was really no need for it. Up until this point it had been fairly amicable. Trust him to ruin the moment.

“Well, Levi.” You make a point at disregarding his rank, he wasn't the boss any more, not on this mission any how. “I would hate to be the cause of your death, it would be dreadfully ironic, though wouldn't it? Killed in action by one of your own teammates.” You end the sentence dryly.

“Tsk” You hear his feet shift. “Just because Commander Erwin told you we are equals, doesn't mean that I am not your superior.”

“Whatever Levi! Orders are orders.” You hear the sound of footsteps coming towards you, turning round you spot Jean and Sasha heading for your direction. Sasha looks extremely tired, she must not have slept well either, Jean however looked determined.

“Are we going then?” Jean asks directly to you rather than Levi. You give him a sideways glance and see that he is clenching his teeth again. You nod and get up from your seated position, you make your way over to the stables with the new arrivals, leaving Levi standing at the lake on his own.

“Are your horses ready?” You ask as you saddle your horse and check the reins. They confirm, and you walk your horses out of the stables. Levi passes you without even an acknowledgement , and soon returns with his horse. You walk the horses over to the equipment shed and get your gear together. Nerves start to show in your hands as they shake; were you worried about the mission? Or being on the mission with Levi? You give in trying to figure it out and clap your hands to shake out the trembles.

You gear up and walk outside, and mount your horse, waiting for the others. They soon file out and get on their own horses. Everyone is fairly quiet, Levi, as normal was mute and aloof. You all follow him out of the courtyard and make your way down towards the outpost.

As you ride through, you realise it really was quite beautiful, if you ignored the derelict buildings and eerie quiet. The birds sang as they flew out overhead, the green pastures now wild and unkempt. You ride your horse hard, and you feel all the doubts and anger of the last few months blow away as you speed along. You ride for hours, not daring to stop. You remember in training that you had to be constantly moving, otherwise you may as well be a sitting duck. You contemplate the time when you had witnessed the titans for the first time. They were the stuff of nightmares. No one could imagine something so monstrous, yet here they were destroying humanity with every mouthful. You had managed to take one down, unscathed. Some others in your team however, hadn't been so lucky. You feel your heart pull as you remember your teammates, in pieces. That was not going to happen again, not on your watch!

“Are we far, Levi?” Your legs begin to ache as the horses start to slow down, and you shift uncomfortably in the saddle. Your ride had been clear of any titans, which had been lucky, and you were somewhat relieved.

“No. We should be there shortly.” His voice is short and slightly breathy. You muse he should sound like that more often, his breathing made his words sound a little softer. It suited him. Maybe you should have him chase you round the courtyard before you let him talk to you, he might inadvertently sound nicer.

The horses slow to a trot as you walk through a path with buildings either side. You feel the hairs on the back of your neck prickle, and you become more alert. You can't even hear the birds calling any more. You hear a massive crashing sound to the side of you, your horse bolts down an alleyway to your left when you hear Sasha scream.

You jump off your horse and run back, your horse would be fine, just useless at the moment. You knew something was wrong. As you reach the place you had been before the horse ran, you look up to see a Titan, with Levi firmly in its grasp.

“LEVI!” Your eyes scan the area for the others and notice Sasha pulling an unconscious Jean into a building and Levi's gear crushed on the ground below you. It must have been damaged in the initial blow. Fuck! You fire off your 3dmg, zipping up to the building near the Titan and run across the roof. Your boots pound across the rooftop, tiles slipping from beneath you as your mind runs into overdrive. Blind-siding this monster was the only way you could start on the attack. You hear Levi yell, and see the Titan raising him to its mouth. Adrenaline surges through you, seemingly bringing time to a standstill. The titan's motion seems to blur slightly as you focus, and in that moment you shoot your line to the Titan's arm while slashing frantically, managing to slice the hand off at the wrist, although shattering your blades in the process as they bounce off bone. The Titan howls and swings out with its damaged arm, causing you to lose balance. Your hair whips behind you as you plummet downwards, watching the floor rise up to meet you, and somehow in the nick of time you send out another line and swing out to catch Levi, just before he hits the ground.

Sasha comes out from her hiding place to bundle Levi inside, just one glance shows you he's completely dazed. You grab your next set of blades and whistle through the air back at the titan. Back on the roof, the behemoth ploughs a hand through the slates next to you and takes out part of the roof, almost ripping your feet out from underneath you. With a crack, your next line flies out in desperation, and hooks deeply into the Titan's jaw. You reel yourself in and set off to take the bastard down, knowing timing is everything. You glide around it, readying yourself to strike when it swipes around and catches one of your legs. If it could laugh, you are sure it would have done. You struggle desperately to get free without any luck.

“(FIRST NAME)!!” You hear a voice call your name. Fear stricken, and urgent, it wasn't one you recognised. Taking a quick look down you see Levi, leaning in a door way staring up at you unable to do anything. It was enough to shake you from your stupor and with a single movement you slice through the fingers holding your leg, ripping your uniform on your left shin. You set a line which pierces its shoulder blade and while reeling yourself in, you run up its back. You drag your blades across its skin, and pound them through the flesh at its weak point giving you enough force to hurl yourself to safety. With a pitiful wail, the titan comes smashing to the ground and you remind yourself that oxygen is indeed necessary as you breathe a sigh of relief. You scan the area from your position...

All clear, thank goodness...

“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING?!” You hear as you put your feet back down on solid ground. Levi, limping slightly, storms up towards you.

“Saving your ass, I think.” You give him a smile, but you realise that he is fuming and your face falls. You didn't get it. You did enough to save everyone, as far as you knew everyone was okay.

“You were being fucking reckless. You seriously are a bloody idiot. I should never have let Erwin put you on this mission!”

“Excuse me! If I hadn't have been here you would have been Titan chow!” You roar back at him. “Dead. You know? As in, not able to be giving me the third degree right now!” You couldn't believe it, what the fuck? Was he really riding your ass because you saved him? What an egotistical prick!

“Levi, she didn't do anything wrong” You notice Jean slowly walking up with a bad cut to his head. Sasha followed quickly behind him. “She saved us all, if she hadn't kept its attention, we'd all be dead.” His voice was cold, and cutting. “And that definitely includes you. Stop being a moronic ass, and let's get the horses and go.”

“Tsk. Fucking brats!” You watch in astonishment as he walks off and picks up his damaged gear. Jean and Sasha walk up behind you as you watch him slink off to find his horse. You were livid, and you turn to them with a look of complete loss.

“What's up with him?” Sasha asks.

“I should have let the Titan eat him. I wont be saving him again, that's for sure.” You reply with malice, not really answering her question.

“There's something not right” You look at Jean with a raised eyebrow. “Well, more than usual, and its all directed at you Mrs Ackerman.” He smirks at you and you roll your eyes.

“Not that shit again.” You walk off to find your horse and sure enough, there he was, still in the alleyway. You walk him back and find Sasha and Jean already mounted on their horses. Patting your horse to reassure him, you saddle up. You trot along the path and find Levi waiting for you, he shoots you a glare and then huffs as he starts off without you.

You ride for another 10 minutes feeling extremely achy and arrive at the outpost. The place is completely deserted, and you carefully make your way to the entrance. You walk the horses around to the old paddock and make sure that they have food and water. Grabbing your belongings from the saddle bags you slowly make your way into the building.

The outpost main building was dusty and dark, and smelt of mould; although fortunately it still seemed sturdy enough to protect the team. You find a place to sit down in what you believed to be some sort of rest room or social quarters. Leaning back in the chair, you sigh as you relax your tired muscles and aching joints. Everything hurt, and on the come down from all the adrenaline, you definitely feel like shit.

“(first name)” Sasha calls though from another room. “I'm just going to take Jean up to the medical room here and get cleaned up.” You hear Jean bitching about her mothering him as their voices get further away... So typically Jean.

“What is it with you?” You don't even bother turning to see who it is, Levi's voice was clearly distinctive. You don't answer, as you know it wasn't really intended as a question. “You have a total disregard for your own safety. You were lucky you didn't die out there.” Even though the words themselves were of concern, his tone was not, he was incredulous.

“Maybe, maybe not, but I didn't and neither did you.” You reply, your voice was curt and you cut yourself short to stop yourself from ranting at him and his stupid attitude.

“Brat, did you ever stop to think that you might be important to people alive?” You scowl at him.

“Well, sure. Everyone is better off being alive.” Your voice is dismissive. What a stupid statement. “But if you dare talk to me like that again, you wont be around to shout at me afterwards!”

“Say that again, Brat! I fucking dare you.” His eyes flashed. You get up out of your chair and walk towards him slowly, preparing yourself.

“Talk to me again and I will shut you up-” You are interrupted as he grabs you and pulls you towards him. “Levi! Don't even think about it!” remembering the last encounter, your left hand whips to your hip, fingers closing around the field knife at your waist.

“Shut up, (First Name) Your leg's bleeding.” He used your name? Wait, what?! You allow yourself to watch as he kneels down, then you see your ripped and heavily bloodied trousers. You had a gash on your right thigh, a fucking big one... How the hell did that happen? Why hadn't you noticed? He examines it and stands up quickly, grabbing your arm and throwing you over his shoulder.

“Hey!”

“We need to clean the wound. You don't want to die of sepsis do you?” His voice may have softened slightly, but that still didn't stop you struggling to get away from him. His arm clamps around you tightly even preventing you from squirming, so you resign yourself to fate. You rest your head in your hand in annoyance as he walks you to the medical room...

[cutesuki-bakugouinactive]

hello ! can i request a scenario where katsuki is getting nightmares? like he suddenly wakes up at the middle of the night becauss he remembers the incident with all might and his fight with izuku or smth like that. then he cant take it anymore so he calls his s/o to come over and help him sleep? aaaaaaa thank you ! :D

Making him suffer hurts me, but I had fun with this one lol

Thank you so much, I hope you like it!!! 

Bakugou clutched onto the front of his black shirt, sitting up in his bed and hunched over, trying to catch his breath. Entire body coated in a cold sweat, he clenched his eyes shut tightly, trying to rid his mind of the visions of his nightmare. He could still feel the stinging of his throat from how he had yelled out when he was jerked awake, and as his senses returned to him, the anger and frustration began to build. “Damn it…” He released his shirt, bringing his hand up to first rub his face before running his fingers through his hair, releasing the sticky grip of sweat his skin had on his bangs. “Two weeks now… Two fucking weeks with the same bullshit dream.”

Feeling hot, he threw his blanket off of him, scooting himself to sit on the edge of his bed. The wooden floor was like ice against the hot skin of his feet, but it actually helped to soothe him and tether him back to reality. Elbows resting on his knees, Bakugou placed his head in his hands, still trying to calm to rapid pace of his heart. I can’t believe I’m still going through this shit… It’s been five years since I left UA, and it’s still eating at me. All Might told me himself that it wasn’t my fault… Why can I not just fucking get over it. With a frustrated sigh, he stood on numb legs and made his way into his restroom. Turning on the sink to full blast of cold water, he placed his palms against the counter top, leaning over it as he watched the water run without making and effort to touch it.

The sound of running water helped Bakugou to focus his mind, calming the racing thoughts of guilt, failure and weakness that plagued him. Eventually, after standing there for at least fifteen minutes, he cupped his burning palms beneath the cold water, filling them before splashing the water onto his face. It was freezing, but he did it once more, running his fingers through his hair as he stood up straight. The cold water felt like needles against his hot skin as it trailed down his neck, until it touched the fabric of his shirt, vanishing into the cloth. Leaning his head back and to the side, he rolled his shoulders, the popping of his bones relieving some of the tension he felt, a grunt of satisfaction escaping his lips. I’m sore all over… Turning off the water, his crimson gaze landed on his own reflection in the mirror, staring back at him with exhaustion.

“You look like shit, man…” He ran a finger across the prominent bags under his left eye, glaring at himself for letting himself get into such a deep state of fatigue that it was starting to show. He had even seen it on the faces of his employees, looking at him with confusion and worry when he came into his office yawning. The only other time he had ever let himself get like this was during his time at UA, when he had been taken and his guilt was overwhelming. He was unsure of what had caused it to all come crashing down on him again, but he needed to get rid of it. It was affecting him in all negative ways, from simply not being able to sleep all the way to his job performance. Not just that, but he had noticed his irritability had spiked the past few days. At everyone, including his lover.

Thinking of her made his heart skip, and he felt the heavy weight of even more guilt on his shoulders. Because of his nightmares, he had snapped at her and treated her worse than he ever had their entire relationship. Typically, she could handle his attitude and even stand up to him, which was something that he loved about her. But this last time had been bad, and he had basically told her to fuck off when she tried to help him. Bakugou had refused to admit this weakness to her, pushing her away to try and rectify his problems on his own, as he always had. Now, the thoughts of her comforting touch and how soft she was to hold ravaged his entire being, and he wanted her with him more than anything.

Leaving the restroom, shutting the door a bit more loudly that he had wanted, Bakugou dragged himself back to his bed and flopped down to sit. Picking up his phone from the bedside table, he hit the button on the top that locked it, feeling a twinge of happiness as he gazed at his lovers face on his lockscreen. She had always picked on him for having that picture, but it was his favorite of her, and always brightened his mood. Still, the time of the night glared at him against her fair face, and the thought of calling her so late at night seemed like a bad idea. She had already been mad at him, so calling her this late on a work night would probably just frustrate her more.

Driven by selfish impulse and the need for her touch, he swiped the screen to unlock his phone and opened his recent calls list. Selecting her name, he held the phone up to his ear, bringing one foot up to rest against the edge of the bed, his thigh pressed up to his torso. As he listened to the ring, he rested his chin on his knee, gripping onto his ankle with his free hand. C’mon… answer. As the fifth ring went by, he nearly pulled the phone from his ear to resign himself to another restless night. Just as he was about to, the sweet sound of her voice came from the other side, and he couldn’t help a bit of relief and excitement from flooding through him.

“Katsuki? Are you okay?”

She sounded as if she had been pulled from sleep, though her voice still had that tinge of worry, concerned that he had called her so late. “Hey… didn’t mean to wake you. I’m not hurt or anything, but-” He stopped himself, hating the sound of his own voice. He sounded pathetic, like a child crying to his mommy over a little scary nightmare. The fact that he couldn’t take care of it on his own made him want to punch himself in the face, and yet having her to comfort him was all he wanted. “I’m not okay.”

The shuffling of fabric was audible behind her voice. “What do you mean? Please tell me what’s wrong, I can’t help you if you’re always shutting me out.”

“Shut up, I know that. I don’t want to talk about it on the phone. I’ll come over there…”

“No, Katsuki, you sound so exhausted you can’t even talk. You shouldn’t drive or go walking like that. Just wait for me, I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

Bakugou had never felt a longer ten minutes in his life. Eventually, his doorbell rang and he made his way into the living room, unlocking and opening the door for his lover. As she gazed up at him, she seemed wide awake, obviously driven by her worry. After coming inside and shutting the door behind her, she wrapped her arms around his neck in a comforting embrace. He returned the favor, clutching her body tightly against him and nuzzling his face into her neck. Nearly desperate for her affection, the feeling of her stroking his hair calmed his tortured mind, her voice soft.

“It’s okay, Katsuki, I’m here for you. Please just tell me everything.”

And he did. Every last detail that he was at liberty to spill came pouring out of him like a raging waterfall. His lover listened to him without interruption as they laid together in his bed, continuously stroking his hair as his head rested against her chest. When he was finally done, he felt like weight had been untied from his limbs, his saving grace wrapped tightly in his arms. She had always been here for him like this, getting him through these sensitive and emotional situations that he could never share with another living soul.

“Katsuki, thank you for telling me. For now, I want you to sleep. We can work on what it is causing these dreams and feelings when you are rested.” Her fingers stroking his cheek felt like heaven, and Bakugou found himself unable to keep his eyes open another second. “It’s going to take more than one night for me to be rested…” He felt as if he were floating, on the verge of being swallowed by the abyss any second.

“Then I’ll stay with you every night until you are better. I swear, where would you be without me.”

A short chuckle escaped Bakugou, a bit surprised at himself that he could even muster a laugh. “Probably shriveled up.” Her giggle prompted him to tighten his grip on her, cuddling himself more into her soft form, and he was able to get out one more thing before he was lost to oblivion.

“Thanks… I needed you here…”

“I’m always here for you, Katsuki. No matter how stubborn you are.”

[nicoleatrandom-blog]

7 Quick Self-Care Tips You Can Fit Into Even the Busiest Schedule

i’ve really got to work on shortening these titles. 

Welcome to Thursday, friends! We’ve almost made it through the week, so you may find yourself in need of some quick relief to the stress of your everyday routine -- or perhaps even those things which have not gone your way recently. 

Self-care is an important thing that many of us forgo in the interest of working, homework, taking care of children and family, or any of the other many obligations we face on a day-to-day basis. Self-care becomes even more important when we are stressed, overwhelmed, anxious, or angry — and I’m sure there are a million other instances in which we need to prioritize self-care. 

Maybe a lot of the reason we let self-care opportunities pass us by is because we think it will be too time consuming; the thing is, self-care doesn’t have to be taking time out to get a mani-pedi or a massage or a facial. It doesn’t have to be finding a sitter to get some alone time. It doesn’t have to be taking a mental health day from work and using those precious paid-time-off hours. 

I’ve compiled a list of seven things you can do to take care of yourself without taking too much extra time in the day or forcing your schedule to come to a complete halt. Do yourself a favor — read the list, then pick one or two to focus on for the next week or month. Obviously this list isn’t going anywhere, so feel free to come back to it anytime, and don’t forget to share your favorite on-the-go self-care tips in the comments! 

Have a hot beverage. This seems so simple it’s silly, but I’m serious. Make yourself a cup of coffee or a cup of tea. My go-to lately has been hot chocolate. Don’t forget that hot lemon water in the mornings! Put it in a to-go cup and continue on about your day while you drink it, or do what my friend Ashley does and pour into your favorite mug, have a seat, and put that to-do list on the backburner for a few minutes. I’ll tell you a secret: the list will still be there when you’re done. Crazy, right! The warm, coziness of having your favorite warm beverage will help to calm your nerves and soothe the tension of the day — and you know, no one said you can’t add a little grown-up juice, right? A little Bailey’s in your coffee, a hot toddy. Although, if you’re driving, at work, or taking care of kids, you might want to save the grown-up juice for later. 

Give your face a little extra care. I know, we’re talking about things that don’t take that much time, but hear me out. You’ve got to wash your face at night or in the morning anyway, right? Instead of your usual routine, throw a mask in there. The beauty industry has a whole range of face masks for purchase, and there are some that are not all that expensive. I’ve done masks that have to stay on anywhere from five to twenty minutes, so it depends on how much extra time you want to use. A five minute mask could be a good slow down for a hectic morning, but a twenty-minute mask can set while you get the kids ready, choose your outfit, or get your lunch together. Or, if you work the mask into your nighttime routine, it’s a great day to just close your eyes, put on your favorite music, and unwind from the day. Personally, I really enjoy Feeling Beautiful masks, which come in a one/two time use packages, or in a tube just under five dollars which lasts forever. Or, if an overnight mask is your thing, try Bliss’s What A Melon Overnight Mask. No affiliations here, just making some suggestions for masks that make me feel calm and pretty. 

Get up, make up, show up. Personally, nothing makes me feel more at ease than knowing I’ve beat my own mental blocks. Getting out of bed when I’d rather sleep a little longer, putting on a cute outfit when I would rather just throw on jeans and a t-shirt, putting on a full face of makeup (for me, this is less than others) and going to work when I just want to stay home bare-faced — if I can conquer that, I know I can conquer the rest of my day. 

It’s just one thing. When you’ve got a long list of things to do but you’re overwhelmed, the first thing you need to do is prioritize those things. What absolutely needs to be done today, and what can be moved to tomorrow or later in the week, or even next week? Once you’ve moved out things that are not required to be completed today, look at what you have left, how they’re prioritized, and just do one thing at a time. Don’t think about the x-number of things that are on the list, think about the thing that’s highest priority. Do that, cross it off the list, then do the next thing. Rinse, repeat. We get so caught up in getting things done that we tend to overwhelm ourselves at time. The thing is, life is hard enough, and, some days, we just don’t need to make it any harder. Simplify your to-do list, and take it from there. 

Eat what makes you happy. This one, you have to be careful. If you’re overwhelmed every day for a month, having tacos every day for a month might not be the best idea. But every now and then, forget the diet/healthy eating lifestyle, and get you some tacos — or whatever it is that makes you happy. Take that little bit of pressure off yourself and eat what you want. You’ll be surprised at how much just that one less thing makes a difference! Bonus #5 Info: There are foods that might actually improve your mood and mindset, and keep you healthy! Bananas, berries, quinoa, dark chocolate, green tea, apples … there’s more on the list, but these are just a few that will help to improve your mood and are relatively healthy. Google “food that makes you happy” and you’ll find even more options! 

Ask for help. Perhaps one of the most difficult things to do! We’ve been trained to have it together, to get things done, and to not burden others with our problems. I’m here to tell you, asking for help does wonders for my anxiety/stress. It’s okay to share your load with others, as long as you’re not taking advantage of them. That’s why we have family, why we have friends — and it lets them know that when they’re the ones who are stressed/overwhelmed/whatever the case may be, they can come to us for a return on the favor. 

Rock out like there’s no tomorrow. There’s no denying the calming effect of music. Play it while you complete your cleaning for the day or on the way home from dropping your kids at school or while you finish your errands for the day. Sing-along, shamelessly, and without caring what anyone else thinks. You’re taking care of you, and that’s all that’s important in that moment. 

Like I said, just a few things I’ve found that help me through days when the hours or even minutes seem insurmountable. What are your go-to quick self-care tips? Drop them in the comments below! 

I’ll see you (hopefully) Tuesday with a new post, and until then, keep moving forward. 

[imagination-is-key-in-my-world]

Memories Last

Pairing: Alec Lightwood x Reader Warnings: none Brief: You’re a shadow hunter with a difference. 

I knew one thing, I was in way over my head.

My bar shift finished and I was on my way home. I shared an apartment with my close warlock friend called Magnus. He has been the one person who I was allowed to take with me from my past. One piece of my old life, there to remind me of my duties as a shadowhunter as well as a protector to those who are unaware of their true abilities.

Deep in my thoughts, I felt the darkness envelope me, as I took the quicker route home through the alleyway close to the bar. I was only 10 minutes away from our place when I sensed a figure stood behind me.

This was something I should be used to because of the line of work I am in. Or should I say the line of work I used to be in. Ever since I became a protector to the naïve shadowhunters, my field work has lets say somewhat lacking. Considering this I felt an ache in the bottom of my stomach as I reached for my licensed gun. I couldn't take out my seraph blade until I knew who or what I was up against.

Seeing as I had a glamour on and I was still being followed, this person was definitely not mundane.

“Such a pretty Nephilim walking all alone.” There were now hands on the back of my hips, pulling me from my path. “Or shall I say, such a naïve little angel blooded bitch.” That was when the impact struck the side of my face, hitting me hard enough for my frail overworked body. The lack of training in the institute with someone I could spar with and not hurt was hard to find when you live with a warlock.

I couldn't help but scream when a sharp pressure was applied to my stomach and dragged out. Creating a long slice from the left side of my pelvis up to my the underpart of my right boob. It was then when I was lying at my weakest point that I was able to grab my seraph blade. Igniting it with light as I made contact with it.

Pulling my arm back with all of the remaining strength in my body. I could make out the fangs as my blade provided light in a very dark place. The figure above me spoke once more before I was able to drive the blade through his rib cage.

“You know all this blood is making me a little hungry. It would be a shame for it to all go to waste now wouldn't...” The creature above me disintegrated into a million fragments on top of me. If I was mundane I would be screaming at how disgusting this was.

A strong sense of relief spread through my weak body. Someone has saved me from this fate and they were running over to me, two dark haired figures and two light. As I was close to collapsing I let out a small groan.

They mumbled something before I blacked out, I could just about hear it but I could no longer see or move. “What did she just say?” The words faded out as the male spoke, then everything went black.

Jace's POV 

It all happened so fast. But the woman taking on one vampire with two of his friends in a close pursuit was surprisingly calm. As if she wasn't aware that there were actual monsters attacking her.

As Alec took on one of the vampires from a distance.

 I bolted towards the third that was advancing closer to his mate. She would have never have survived if two of them got their hands on her. When I got closer to her it was then when I saw the blood, but I was also able to make out black markings underneath her shirt where she had been slashed. It appeared as though she was concealing runes.

Concealing runes was not uncommon for shadowhunters that preferred to live among the mundane. To live out a normal life without the constant questions of why and what they were.

I was able to take out the third vamp slashing at him as I bolted towards the girl. I noticed her hand pull back with a blade very much similar to the one that I stabbed through the chest of the creature stood above her. She was indeed a shadow hunter.

Clary was close behind me, then Issy joined us as we stared down at the woman who appeared to be passed out. There was a noise that left her lips, quiet but because of our runes, we could make out what she said.

“Alec!”

~ 5 Hours later ~

We managed to get her back to the institute with the help of Magnus. One call from Clary and he popped through a portal right in front of us. His expression was clear, he knew who she was. Only why didn't we?

Taking us back to the institute we placed her in the infirmary, trying to get as much information out of Magnus as we could. That way we could know what we were up against with this girl.

Magnus told us this,

Most of the answers we seek could only be answered by y/n herself.

They were long time friends who live with one another, both there to protect each other.

She was a shadowhunter, but she was different.

“Stop asking me questions and return to my first point.”

Issy started to draw on a healing rune, but she was interrupted by Magnus' shrieking, “No don't do that!” Running over and removing the stele from her hand. We all looked at him confused as to why he reacted in such a terrified way.

“I'm sorry.” Holding his hands up the way that he would always do when we would question his opinion, “it will not work on her.”

“Explain Magnus, now!” Alec demanded. Shocking all of us as he has pretty much been a laid back brother for a few months now. “Why won't it work on her?”

“A warlock put a curse on her when she first left the institute. And before you ask, I cant tell you much more as to why she left. That is her story and for her to tell.” Alec moved over to sit by y/n, looking at her quizzically as if he was trying to work out who she was and how she knew his name. “Basically, if you tried to fix that,” he pointed to her injury, “it will only increase the pain. It looks like we are going to have to fix this the old fashioned way.”

~ 5 Hours later ~

Alec took up the role of nurse, doctor, surgeon as well as making sure she didn't get worse through the day. Sitting with her when he should have been training with us.

I walked in to find him leaning on the bed, resting his chin on his crossed arms, not breaking eye contact with her at any given moment. He was exploring every inch of her face, trying to bring back a memory of her.

[After the surgery..]

Alec: I think we knew her.

Me: What do you mean?

Alec: Look at that necklace. It isn't just that, look at those lips, and picture a smile on her face.

Me: *Confused* You want me to picture something that I cannot see.

Alec: Forget it *waves me off * it's stupid. Let's just pray she wakes up soon and can tell us who she is.

Me: Are you coming to train?

Alec: No, not today. Someone has to stay with her just in case she deteriorates.

Me: *Places a hand on his shoulder* Okay Alec, but keep us informed.

“Come on Alec you have been sitting here for hours,” I walked over and shook him by the shoulders so that he knew that I was there. “We can go and get a coffee, stretch your legs, she will still be there when we get back.”

He finally conceded and got up. “I don't like this Jace. I don't like the idea of her waking up and being alone.” Slinging my arm around his shoulder, allowing him to know that I understood what he was feeling. If I had to leave Clary or Issy behind in y/n's condition, I would be feeling exactly the same.

“I know Alec but we will return soon, I promise.”

Y/N’s  POV 

Where am I? What am I wearing? Why am I in pain? All these questions and yet no one here to answer them.

I scanned the room and found my wrecked work uniform on the table next to my bed. Using the stool by the side of me as a support to pull myself out of the bed. I noticed that the stool base was warm, someone must have been sat here and only recently leaving.

That was when it hit me. I know where I am. “I'm back at the institute. But how?”

I grabbed some fresh clothes where I knew they kept some in the drawer. They were stocked for patients that couldn't wear the clothes that they came in with. Perfect for my situation. I slipped on the black skinny jeans and a tube top, allowing my wound to breath.

I did consider getting back into bed, but I was intrigued by being back here. I wanted to explore to see how much it has changed since I was last here.

I started down the long corridor and found myself in the new training and sparring room. A lot fancier than the one that I worked out in, better equipment and weapons inventory that the limitation of the seraph blades, daggers, whips and bow and arrows.

Running my hand across the blades, taking in the familiar feeling. I let out a soft sigh at the life that I left behind, or more so forced to leave behind and turned.

“Ooff!” I bumped into a large dark haired figure. Landing back on the floor, darn you wound making me seem weak that a simple bump can result in be on my back sprawled out on the floor.

Looking up at the boy I let out a second gasp. He seemed highly concerned about my well being, checking me all over as he dropped to his knees. His eyes were immediately on my bandaged up injury. “I'm sorry are you okay.”

He spoke so frantically with so much fear within his voice. “I'm okay.” I said trying to pry myself off of the floor, “argh” I cried falling back down.

The once white bandage started to ooze out a browny red liquid, one that I am far too familiar with, blood. A panicked look on his face, “Let me help you, we have to get you back to the infirmary.” He placed his one arm around the back of my shoulders and the other holding the bandage onto my wound.

~ 2 hours later ~

“Thanks,” I muttered as Alec stitched me up once again. He told me about how he found me and that he knows that I have a connection to Magnus. “I take it you are confused about who I am.”

A smirk spread across his face as he focused on my words. “You could say that.” Placing a new gauze and bandage on, trying to be as delicate as he could with his touch. Almost as if I was made of a breakable glass. “I know that you're a shadowhunter, but Magnus said that you were different?”

By the time he asked the question, the others joined the room. Sitting around my bed as if I was a new toy. Fascinating.

“Well get comfy cause this is a long story.” The only person who smiled at my little joke was Alec, the others had the most serious look on their face.

“My name is y/n Fairchild.” Clary gasped and then looked at me confused.

“How many relatives do I have?” She asked giving off a lighthearted laugh.

“I am indeed a shadowhunter but as Magnus informed you guys, I am not like the rest of you. My mother Jocelyn had two girls and one boy. I am the oldest, Clary I am your sister.” I gave it a second for it to sink in. “Jocelyn raised me as a shadowhunter, but she didn't want this life for you Clary. That is why when I started training here, she shipped me off and asked Hodge to take care of me. To raise me as if I was his own, but we both knew the truth, so we had a great friendship blossom.”

I tried to sit up, feeling hands on both my stomach and my back. Slowly guiding and lifting me to the position that I wanted to be in.

“So while I was here I met you,” I looked at Alec, who didn't know how he should take my comment. “Jace and Isabelle. We were close growing up, sparring with one another until early hours of the morning. I helped with you two in training to receive your parabati runes. But once Clary started noticing things and Magnus had to wipe her memory, Jocelyn told me that I had to look after her, to train her to be a shadowhunter.”

“But I don't remember you.” Clary squeaked sounding so innocent.

“Thank Jocelyn for that one. I trained you into this life, I made sure that you were ready for anything that may come your way. But when creatures started coming into your life it terrified her. She told Magnus to wipe your memory and to replace it with one that didn't include me or the shadow world.”

Alec squeezed my hand, I wasn't aware he was holding it up until that point. “So when she gave you this blissful life, this normal life. She informed the Clave of how well I did as a protector. Resulting in me becoming a tutor outside of the institute and restricted from ever entering the institute. I had to help people like you Clary train, but befriend them so that I was close enough to them that I would be able to stop danger coming.”

“Being away from the institute and the job for so long as less shadowhunters needed me, I started to erase my runes one at a time. Trying to get a normal life, away from all of this even though I didn't want to.”

Jace walked to the other side of my bed, “So if I know you, we all know you. How come we cannot remember you?”

The others nodded along with Jace, agreeing with the one thing that was important to ask. “Magnus helped me with that one yet again. It was hard for me to leave you guys, my friends and my sister, but he already showed me that he could do it on you Clary. So the Clave told him to do the same with Alec, Jace and Isabelle. I'm so sorry guys.”

“What about the healing rune? Why wont that work?” Isabelle asked staring at my stomach.

“I became a problem for a warlock. I stopped him from trying to find you Clary when they were looking for the Mortal Cup. I never left you even though I was meant to cut all ties. That way you wouldn't spark any of your past memories. As a punishment to preventing him on multiple occasions he took away the one thing that I needed the most in this job.”

I was talking for so long I could feel myself falling asleep. My head falling onto the shoulder of Alec who had joined me on the bed as I was too weak to hold myself up. My eyes were shut but I could hear Alec talk quietly to the others, noticing I was drifting off and didn't want to wake me.

“I think you guys should go. Let her sleep for a while, I will stay with her to make sure she is okay.”

The others mumbled something that sounded like an agreement.

Alec's POV 

I needed to know who she was. I know that she told us who she was, but I wanted my memories back. I wanted to remember what she said, about is growing up together. About us having a close friendship. She told me when she woke up slightly when the others had gone that she was always closer to me.

This made me smile. Apart from Jace I had never had someone tell me that they considered me their best friend. Even now I have felt Jace drift from me and get closer to Clary.

I felt important, being the one who was responsible for her while the others were getting some sleep or were out training. It gave me a sense of purpose. But even though she tells me all this about herself and the friendship we had, I wanted to remember it myself.

I pulled out my phone from my pocket, and pressed Magnus. I noticed her stiffen as I moved ever so slightly, but within a few moments of stirring, she snuggled back into my arms. Resting her head and arm over my chest.

“Magnus, I need your help. Come to the infirmary and bring everything you can to restore my memory.”

Within a few minutes Magnus arrived. Seeing y/n sleeping sound asleep he let out a small smile. “I always knew you guys were close.” Chuckling as I unwrapped himself from y/n, making sure that she didn't fall down hard onto the bed. Holding her as I rested her body down flat, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

“So can you do it?” I asked. He waved his arms around and laughed.

“I am Magnus Bane, why wouldn't I be able to.” Arranging his potions and books, “You know that this isn't going to be easy. It is going to cause you a lot of pain. Does she know you're doing this?”

I shake my head. “I need to know my true feelings for her. All the pain that comes with it is worth it.”

~ 1 Hour Later ~

I knew everything, more than that I knew who I was before when I was with her.

All of my feelings returned and I felt like I had been given a gift. I slowly got into bed with her to resume the position that I was in before Magnus came and returned my memories.

Sliding my arm under her and resting her back onto my chest, stroking her hair. All I could think about while she was asleep was how much I wanted her to be mine when we were younger.

I would run around after her and never leave her side. I was only 10 when I first met her and the minute I saw her I knew she was an angel. She had runes almost all over her neck the same way that I did. (This made me sad when I thought about how she no longer had that rune on her now.)

As the years went on we became closer than ever. To the point that when we were out training or on missions, we would both go back to the others room and collapse onto the bed cuddled up the same way that we are now. This continued up until she was 16 and I was 17 when she left the institute. Breaking my heart along with it.

But her coming back, although her situation wasn't ideal for her to come back, has brought back an important part of my life. A part of my life that I missed.

I rested my head against hers, letting her know that I am still here. That I will always be here.

~ Next Day ~

I woke up to see her facing the other way but still on my arm. So I took the opportunity and rolled over to spoon her from behind. She didn't wake up straight away, she actually molded herself into my arms better and I heard a slight moan from her. Was that a good thing?

“Alec?” She turned around to face me and I pretended to still be asleep, I didn't want to seem weird. Not that I don't look that way anyway. “Alec? Are you awake?”

Her hand raised up to my head and stroked my hair. It felt really nice so I pretended as though that was what woke me and not the loud grunting coming from Jace and Clary in the training room next door. “Hey.” I said sleepily. “Are you alright?”

She smiled and dragged her hand through her hair. “I've been better? But this is a nicer improvement to waking up to Magnus burning something and flailing about.” I laughed nervously and she joined me. “Yeah this is nice.”

I smiled at what she said. I have always enjoyed waking up to her, but this time it felt different. Although my feelings were suppressed by my memories being taken away from me. I feel as though it is time that I was honest with her.

“Y/N, I need to tell you some...” I was interrupted by her kissing me. My eyes were wide at the moment of impact, but as I realized what happened I relaxed.

Y/N’s POV 

I didn't have enough time to figure out what I was doing. I leaned into Alec and kissed him. What the hell am I doing?

But it was then that Alec grabbed the side of my face and pulled me back into him as I tried to pull away thinking it was a mistake. “y/n,” he moaned against my lips. Pulling away scanning my eyes, “you do not know how long I have wanted to do that.”

I laughed and kissed him again. “Memory back?” He nodded with a big grin on his face. “Magnus?”

“How did you guess?” Alec laughed playing with my hair the same way he used to do when I was little. “But really y/n, it doesn't matter how long you've been gone or if my memory is taken from me. I will always come back to you.”

“I guess memories do last, huh?” Grinning up at his morning hair, looking like he had been attacked.

“You could say that.”

We were interrupted by Magnus and the others, “It's about time, I'm sick of hearing about what could have been.” Magnus spoke up from the group. “But honestly get a room, this is a hygienic room we do not need this,” gesturing to the two of us, “ruining the sheets.”

[xxsteveharringtonxx]

Him & I [Steve Harrington x Reader] pt 2

Plot: You’re Carol’s best friend, but naturally you’re close with Steve seeing as neither of you are really bad people like Tommy and Carol are. Things never got romantic between you and Steve purely because you were afraid to tell him how you feel, and you didn’t really tell anyone because even your best friend is a bit of a bitch. However when Steve starts dating Nancy and literally drops you and the others you cant really help but feel abandoned once you realised you weren’t putting up with Tommy and Steve because of Carol you were actually putting up with Tommy and Carol because of Steve. Set after season one.

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Reader

Warnings: Swearing

Him and I

Part Two 

Glancing down at your Farrah Fawcett outfit you fixed your blonde wig a little before pushing open the door to Tina’s house and pushing your way through the crowds, the first person who you caught eyes with was Steve who only sent you a slightly drunk smile before continuing to dance with Nancy. Sighing you found Carol and Tommy cheering on Billy Hargrove who was chugging a keg, when he stopped he sent you a grin and licked his lips.

“Glad you could make it Y/L/N.” He sneered making you roll your eyes and grab Carol.

“You’re here! Did you have a drink? Here drink this!” She cheered thrusting a drink into your chest making you take a step back a few to stop it spilling on your shirt instead it just splashed a little on your new red converse and you had to bite your tongue. Instead she pulled me off to dance where I actually trying to enjoy myself a little, and I saw Jonathan walk in. Not able to make it to him to get away from Carol who was now making out with Tommy, I decided to ditch the disgusting drink in my hand and find a soda instead. 

About an hour after I got there, Carol and Tina were drunk and dancing going on about how hot the guys here are but I just kept finding myself looking out for Steve. Normally we stuck together at these things and they were almost bare able but right now you thinking of a new excuse to leave, you’d danced, and spent time with Carol but right now the idea of getting into bed and watching Jaws was so much more appealing. 

Just as you were grabbing your coat a perfectly manicured had wrapped around your wrist yanking you into the kitchen as you stumbled over your own feet. Vaguely aware of Steve and Nancy getting fresh drinks you ignored Steve’s slight glances as Carol starting speaking. 

“So Tina told me, Darren and Tommy heard Billy say he wants to talk to you about something important, he’s gone upstairs and he wants you to meet him in Tina’s room.” Carol told you as if it was almost rehearsed. 

“No, no I don’t want to, he only wants to get in my pants.” You reminded her pulling your wrist out of her grasp.

“Oh Y/N grow up! This is Billy! He’s hot!” Carol yelled making you hiss at her to shut up.

“Look just go and see, he might like you.” Rolling your eyes she followed you out to the living room where everyone was.

“Lets just stay here and dance?” You suggested and she finally lost it, she was clutching her drink in her hand tightly as she glared.

“What the hell is wrong with you?! You know recently you’re turning in a right square! You’re so boring! I’m finally trying to get you laid to see if that would stop you being so uptight but you’re still fucking boring!” She spat making your eyes turn to slits.

“If I’m so boring Carol then why the hell do you bother! If it’ll help you I’ll leave for you!” You hissed back making her mouth drop open, you’ve never stood up to her before but Steve’s words were swimming around your head as you stared her down.

“Oh are you too good for us now? You think you’re better than us?!” She stepped closer slightly intimidating me but I stood my ground.

“I never said that.” You said not wanting her to get madder.

“But you wanted to! Don’t think I haven’t noticed! If you’re so much better then go!” She spat as you walked past her to leave, you didn’t need this anymore. 

“Oh Y/N?” She called making you turn to see her just in time to have her drink thrown in your face. 

“Oops.” She mocked making you just take a deep breath and walk out. So much for Steve backing you up, about ten minutes ago he ran out the room after Nancy. 

The drive home was sticky, and just uncomfortable. But you did feel free, you felt like you were finally able to just be yourself, you may have no friends but did you ever really consider Carol a friend?

*** Steve ***

Walking into school I glanced up at the doors, since Nancy told me everything was bullshit at Tina’s I hadn’t ever felt more lost, I skipped school for two days but it was Friday now I needed to show my face. But walking up to the doors I found myself looking for Y/N, I’d never realised but even when I was with Nancy I’ve still always been keeping a look out for my old friend. But when I saw them I knew something was different, Tommy and Carol were stood at their lockers looking slightly smug as Billy was leaning over Y/N who was pushing herself closer into her locker before pushing him away and storming off as the three laughed. Frowning at the situation she shoved past me too, Billy stared at me for a while before I turned on my heel and jogged after her.

“Y/N! Y/N wait up!” I called making her stop and turn to me as the bell rang.

“What?” She spat making me step back.

“What happened? Are you okay?” I asked concerned as tears filled her eyes.

“I’m freaking great Steve! I’m finally out! No Carol, no Tommy but that’s not true is it? There still here but I’m just on the wrong fucking end of it! Three days now, I’ve got Billy trying his very best to piss me off! I don’t think he gets bored of being a dick! And Carol, oh well I might as well have given her permission to ruin my life because she’s done a pretty good job so far!” She yelled as I tried to reach out to calm her down.

“Y/N it’s okay-” I cooed as she finally gave in and let me pulled her into my chest as she cried.

“It’s not okay, it’s a living hell. This is what I was so terrified of and you said you were there for me? And I can tell you now, these last few days I haven’t seen you once when they were being dicks!” She said in a calmer voice as she pulled away wiping her tears. 

“I have class.” She mumbled before she headed off down the hall. 

Once I was in my first class I settled down next to Tina who smiled sweetly at me, well guess she was my best bet.

“Hey what happened with Y/N and Tina?” I asked as she sighed.

“It wasn’t just you and Nancy who broke up that night. Carol was yelling at Y/N about something stupid and it escalated so much, anyway Carol threw her drink all over Y/N and well it didn’t end there. On Wednesday Billy was a dick about her not sleeping with him, called her a few names. Then on Tuesday Carol told everyone she didn’t sleep with Billy because she was pretty much sleeping with everyone else but we know it’s not true, Y/N isn’t like that but they’ll get bored soon. Just like they did with you.” I sighed at her words because she’s been through shit when I said I’d be there. 

“Fuck.” I hissed when I saw her heading towards her car at lunch, I knew I had no choice but I needed to apologise. 

“Y/N!” When she turned and saw me she carried on but I leaned down to her window. 

“Steve I wanna go home-” She started but I cut her off.

“You wanna hang out later?” I asked making her blink at me.

“What?” She asked clearly confused.

“Look I’m sorry I was just as much of a dick as Tommy and Carol, I should of been there. So let me prove I am here, lets hang out at mine? Order a pizza? Anything but I kind of actually miss hanging out with you so it’ll be fun. We can go now if you’re not up for school.” I told her honestly and I smiled when I saw a smile flicker onto her face. 

“Okay. Sure meet you there in ten?” She nodded making me sigh in relief happy that she agreed. 

“I’ll miss you.” I joked making her laugh, it was a sarcastic thing we’d say when we knew we would see each other in a few hours or minutes and I hadn’t realised how much I missed saying it to her. 

“Yeah well I miss you already.” She chimed starting her car and driving into the direction of my house and I felt a bubble of excitement ignite inside me as I ran to my car. 

[petobsessions]

Delilah - she started it all. I had just been hired as a dog trainer at Petsmart not because I had any actual experience with dogs (I never had one growing up, my mom didn’t like them, and most scared me after I was tackled to the ground in greeting repeatedly by extended family’s dogs most of my childhood) but since I had a background in elementary education and they figured working with Kindergarteners is close enough to dogs (accurate haha). I had recently dropped out of what I thought was my dream school and career path because of depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation. I walked outside during a shift and saw Delilah’s eyes staring right at me. I had moved back in with my mom and knew I couldn’t bring a dog home, so I started training her on weekends and showing her and the tricks I was teaching her off to anyone that was interested. The problem? She had severe anxiety about being indoors and was a feral pickup off the streets. BARK had never seen her trust anyone before me in the 6 months they had her. Three weekends of this and I knew she was my dog. I moved out to adopt her and I have no regrets. She taught me so much as we patiently and painstakingly worked through her anxiety and subsequently my own panic disorder and agoraphobia that was developing as my depression lifted. She later became my Medical Alert Service Dog and was able to alert me to subtle changes in my body and keep me safe-all things she started herself and a job I wouldn’t have even known how to ask her to do at the time had she not taken it upon herself. We have legitimately spent the majority of our time together these past 14 years and can read each other like books. At 15 now she slows down a bit more each day, is almost fully deaf, and losing her sight. She panics when she wakes up and cant find me so during the rare times I leave the house in 2020 she always comes with me. I know our time left together is limited but I cherish every moment and hope I age as gracefully as she does.

Oliver- I knew I wanted a second dog and was going to start looking soon for a Sheltie mix to compete with me in agility. Ollie and his (then second set) of parents were in my group dog training lessons at the time. As soon as he walked in there was just something about him that drew me to him. I thought he was a puppy at the time-I had never seen or heard of mini Aussies. A few weeks later his former family contacted me around midnight on Facebook asking if I knew of anyone who was looking for a dog like him as they were about to be evicted for his separation anxiety barking and he kept harassing their cats. Ollie has been more of a challenge than I anticipated with his multiple anxiety disorders, but I wouldn’t trade him for the world. He also knew how to alert to my medical issues, but struggled in public to not worry too much about me and everything else going on in the world around him. When Ollie looks at me I feel like he is staring right into my soul.

Ash- Oh my little demon. I knew he was going to be a project too as home number 4, but looking back wouldn’t have taken him on if I had realized the extent of it. The amount of malice this dog has when something comes between him and food or when a child exists is extraordinary. He has taught me so much patience, the ability to recognize triggers before the dog does, and I am able to much better empathize with similarly struggling clients after living through his problem behaviors. Prozac helps, but he will forever be my demon and I’m glad I was able to take him and keep him from behavioral euthanasia <3 He loves cuddling and is forever my littlest spoon.

Adora- With a full time dog training business consisting of dogs regularly boarding and training in my home and two mini Aussie problem children, I decided to get a dog through a responsible breeder for the first time to ensure I had a bomb-proof demo dog, ability to tap her for service work should the need arise, and calm guiding presence for the boys. I brought her home last August thinking Delilah would only have a little bit of time to teach her the ropes before passing, and instead blessedly still have Lilah to help me raise her. Adora is one of the smartest dogs I’ve ever met and an amazing cuddler. She loves being pet and will gently direct me to her desired spots with such clear communication it blows me away. She has the silliest sense of humor and the first time she outsmarted me she was just 4 months old. I had hidden the toy she wanted behind my back while sitting at my computer since she was incessantly squeaking and throwing it around. She alerted that she needed to go potty, so I got up to let her out and she immediately grabbed the toy instead. I’ve been more careful since! Adora has never met a stranger in another dog or human and she deeply trusts me to do things like fix when a stick is caught in the roof of her mouth rather than panicking and flailing the way even Delilah will if in pain despite all our years together. I can’t wait to see how our relationship deepens and grows from here.

Jasper- Oh my kitten...now almost 3 but forever will be kitten to me. I had kept my ex’s cat after our breakup until his living situation stabilized and his cat had only recently moved out. I was grieving in so many ways and insisted I wouldn’t get another cat. Not long after I was teaching a reactive dog lesson outside of a dog park and she sauntered out of the woods screaming for food and following me and the dogs. It took some time and patience but I got her much to the relief of the feral cat feeders who had been trying for weeks. My ex was unfortunately continuing to harass me- I was so hurt and scared by his behavior I didn’t think I could love again but fell so deeply and quickly for Jasper that she reminded me how much unconditional love I have to give. Her health began to decline a few months later and she went blind despite repeated vet visits. Eventually we figured out she has leukemia and her first test was a false negative. But through it all she has stayed the most cuddly and loving cat. Jasper has taught me just how much you can train a cat! Not just tricks but practical things like commands to help her navigate her environment as a blind animal. She was given a few weeks to a few months to live over a year and a half ago. I love her even more for her persistent love of the outdoors despite not being able to see and how losing her sight hasn’t slowed her down one bit.

[byakugaanprincess]

Text

After receiving the good morning text Ved was a little bubbly but he knew he shouldn’t be. The previous evening was a bit overwhelming and he felt something that he thought he wasn’t capable of. So he tried his best to calm down but he regretted not taking taara in his arms and kiss her like she deserved to. Alas, he realized if he felt something doesn’t means she felt something too so he buried the most beautiful first meeting into deep his heart with a promise of never bringing it up.

After receiving the good morning text Ved was a little bubbly but he knew he shouldn’t be. The previous evening was a bit overwhelming and he felt something that he thought he wasn’t capable of. So he tried his best to calm down but he regretted not taking taara in his arms and kiss her like she deserved to. Alas, he realized if he felt something doesn’t means she felt something too so he buried the most beautiful first meeting into deep his heart with a promise of never bringing it up.

Texting

Then came the conversations, two people talking every chance they get. Two people sharing their woes and worries with each other. Ved still felt that spark of amazement every time, but he had decided to bury it. He was spiralling into taara’s soulful heart more and more. Every talk every word was bringing Ved closer to a place where he couldn’t imagine anything without Taara. Every song reminded him of that perfect smile and the insignificantly little time they had spent together that evening.

Jealousy

There isn’t anything like a tight slap to the face to bring an idiot back to his senses. And something very similar happened when taara and her ex spent a night together and he realized that he can lose her forever. They will still be friends but if she truly finds love with someone what right does he have to stop her. He felt weird and uncomfortable but there was no possible solution. Still the destiny wanted something else and he was thankful that they weren’t getting back together.

Tears

In one of their late night conversations Ved being a dick he is said something untowards and realized very late that it had hurt her. The realization that he made her shed tears dawned on him like a flurry of emotions. He felt choked up, how could he do something like that? He wanted nothing more than to make her happy nothing more than to see her smile, then why was he the reason for her tears? He tried his best to apologise but he knew some things once said could never be taken back.

After taara went to bed he stayed up wondering what was that? Why did he do something stupid to the one person he cares about the most? Was this the reason that he decided to bury the feelings? Was this the actual reason for him being so afraid to come to terms with how he felt?

A whole night spent wondering but he wasn’t anywhere close to the answer. And by next morning Ved was back to work. Taara being taara had forgiven him but Ved was still struck onto that.

Months

In this fashion the lovely couple spent couple of months talking to each other, love, hate, family, school, college everything was talked about. It was strangely fulfilling but Ved wanted more. He wasn’t sure as to what he wanted but he was sure that it involved everything with Taara. Without even realizing it, his whole world had started to revolve around her. Her being happy made Ved dance with joy and even the smallest of frowns on her face made his life tumbling downward into a spiral.

Life doesn’t always goes as to what you want to. Ved again being a dick messed up but thinking about it now it turned out good. He kissed another girl (there is nothing good about it) despite him being wanted to take it to next step he felt guilty and gross at himself. He pushed her away and left. Right after that he texted Taara and was left dumbfounded at her reply she was Happy for him. He tried explaining the whole situation and was further confused, was there really nothing here. Was it all a palace on cloud? The thought of that was horrifying so Ved stopped thinking about it.

Night

I LOVE YOU

The same night again on the phone this was brought up, Ved was still not ready to believe that there wasn’t anything between them. But again he could not force these things. Again they went on with their lives and keeping each other constant. The budding friendship they shared had already blossomed into a flower.

It was one other such night when both of them were talking late, both a bit sleepy. As soon as they were about to sleep wishing each other good night Taara said something which would cause Ved to have a lot of sleepless nights. She whispered under her breath “ I love you” Ved was left breathless he instantly said I love you too. Which was a bit too quick to be honest and both of them went to bed after that. Ved who had almost thought of his lifetime with Taara, suddenly felt cold water washing down on his face.

He realized that he had thought too much this I love you was platonic. Taara wants you as her friend and he shouldn’t make it difficult for both of them by making her talk about it. The good thing about it was this became a ritual and both of them would always say this before going to bed and waking up. Ved was happy that Taara loved him although not the same way he would like but still there was more to it than he thought. So, he was happy.

BABY

With the days going by Ved was trying his best to come to terms with the fact that this was going to be it. Things cant go the way he wants them to be so he should be happy. But alas one more incident was there to make it even better for Ved. Taara was going through some stuff at her work and she was upset so much that she was on the brink of shedding tears. Taara texted Ved to tell him about the recent situation at work, realizing that Taara was clearly going through some stuff Ved tried his best to calm her down(clearly not his strong suite). After a while she was calm (not because of ved) and they both decided to talk about at night.

At the night they again discussed it and Ved tried his best to make Taara feel comfortable. He realized that she did cry that evening at her workplace, Ved felt that similar gut-wrenching pain and he felt like something close to him was being ripped apart they spent the night talking and Ved went to bed peacefully thinking Taara has come to terms with it.

Next afternoon Ved texted Taara about something and Taara out of nowhere asked,“ Are you alright?” On further asking about it Taara told that Ved had called her baby a couple of times in the past days. From the office scenario to even now, just two texts back Ved clearly saw the baby text and he was lost for words. He said the first excuse that came to mind. Taara took it easily, which made him breathe a sigh of relief and also irritated him. Why is she not pressing harder? Why isn’t she saying it’s a lie? This pent up frustration caught his mind and he went quite thinking about it and they both went to bed. Albeit with different mindsets or similar.

Prank

Ved and Taara they were getting by, but Ved had no idea what was about to hit him. It was early morning Ved and Taara were talking throughout the night. And Taara sprang out with a straight face saying I love you, Ved knew there was a pretty good chance it was a prank(she was prone to them)He knew there were only two ways it would go down first being he is being pranked and if he says I love you, he will look like a complete fool. On the off chance he also says I love you and tell it off as a prank later she would immediately know the truth and if she didnt have feelings for him, Ved would be done for. Laying your heart bare to someone who doesnt know about your feelings is scary.

And as luck would have it Taara was playing a prank. Ved felt a burst of emotions from sadness, helpless to blank. He again drifted off to what if this wasnt a prank? what if this was true? and what if both of them said I LOVE YOU? Only if, there wasnt so many what ifs?

MONTHS

In this fashion months passed and Ved had totally come to terms with everything. He had now believed that no matter what they wont be able to get together. Ved and Taara were best friends, if not love then this was the best for them. Time spent together talking and discussing was the best. He still longed for everything with Taara the nights were the best talking to each other discussing stuff and life in general. Finally he had a chance to see her, a chance he was craving from past nine months.

Meeting

That day he was traveling listening to music he was excited that finally he can see Taara give her a fulfilling hug, hold her tight. He reached her place in another few minutes she will be here. Ved has no idea as to how he should stand to look cool. Whether or not he was dressed properly he was travel weary, looking haggard meeting anyone like that was a strict no by human standards. He had planned to buy new clothes first look presentable then visit her but being apart for this long how could he control himself. He had rushed over. Just now he realized how dorky he looked no haircut no trimming no proper clothes way to make an impression. While in his thoughts he had realized she is in sight she is wearing a blue top which gives a slight glimpse of her shoulder. She avoided Ved’s gaze which made her look even prettier.

Ved gave her a long hug which might have been longer if not for a stupid security guy pointing his nose in places he doesn’t belong. Taara brought Ved back to her place it was a bit awkward because Ved wanted nothing more than to just settle her down and stare at her, look at her while she does her own stuff, and slowly kiss her. They both had dinner while talking as usual and Ved continuously stared at her. If not for her room mate present he would have hugged her again. That hug wasn’t enough he wanted to hold hands he wanted Taara to sit even closer. All said and done they both decided to watch a movie because the tension was high. Ved for the first time had an inkling of idea that his feelings were not just his. Taara felt sleepy and they both decided to sleep. Taara finally meekly snuggled up to Ved and they both tried to sleep. Ved knew that this was going to be a long night being this close to the women you love and still not being able to kiss her was a crime. He was hearing her breathe it was a bit erratic some breath were longer than the other. Ved himself couldn’t calm down he wanted to push her closer bring her closer to his lips but he couldn’t just take the risk of ruining their friendship.

That long night was the one where both of them didn’t sleep. Ved was sweating all over and couldn’t help but think way to be cool Ved. Finally the night ended and they were up. Taara asked Ved,“ how did you sleep? You are not used to sleeping like this I hope it was alright.” Ved replied he slept peacefully and further apologised because he had made her uncomfortable (sweating). Her roommate left for work and they both were in the living room on the sofa. Ved had his hand around her waist his head resting against her shoulder. They we’re talking about random stuff and Ved had kissed her on the cheek not once or twice slowly the conversation died down. And both of them were on the sofa, the sound of that breathing was something he could never forget their heads were inching closer with every breath. Ved was wishing for her not to speak because the courage he had gathered would slip away if she did. The gap was closing from nose and cheek to nose and chin, from nose and chin to nose and upper lip finally the lips touched who initiated first is still a foggy memory. Ved and Taara had their lips locked and they kissed slowly savoring the feeling it felt right it felt like this was supposed to be Ved put his hands on her waist pinching it still he couldn’t stop. He wanted this for so long the kiss with Taara was worth him dying a couple hundred times. That moment for the first time in life Ved knew he was happy truly happy there wasn’t a cloud of judgement, worry or anything in his mind he couldn’t help but stop and look at the woman he had between his arms. He grabbed her hand and took her back to bed. His mind wasn’t working straight he wanted to kiss her but he also wanted to look at her smiling face. Yes that smiling face, that face he couldn’t get enough of, face he was ready to die looking at. With this they said goodbyes with the promise of seeing each other again that very night.

[strigops]

i wrote a Thing for a story i’ve been kicking around since february. i recently overhauled most of the characters and some of the plot so it makes a bit more sense, and decided to play around with their new characterization to get familiar with them. it’s a bare bones prototype, but i had fun with it so im posting it!

Warrah stands on the river bank beneath the bridge, peering into the water at a face that is not her face, trying to choke out words that, no matter how hard she tries, are not words. She panics and coughs and tries to scramble away, nearly ends up in the river for it as her legs struggle to work the way they used to, the way they should. She didn’t even go that far back, she recalls, only slipped back in time roughly a hundred years. She’d only just said goodbye to a man she’d met there, a young shifter named Pol. Warrah tries to think back to what had caused this, but suddenly everything is shifting and being rearranged again. She’s bigger than she was a second ago. Face down in the dust, normal face and hands, she notes, groping her head. Herself again. She feels chewed up and spat out, like the spirit of whatever form she’d just taken had mauled her. Warrah pushes herself up on hands and knees and glances behind her. Her footprints go from shoes, to meandering paw prints scuffling against themselves in the dirt, to the shoe-prints beneath her now. Her tongue catches up with her now, letting out what she hopes is a mostly human yell before heaving into the river.

Time travel be damned, this isn’t the kind of weird Warrah signed up for.

Warrah gets to her feet and heads home, not really sure what else to do. She considers sending a hopefully-not-as-panicked-as-she-feels text to her Patron, but thinks better of it. She doesn’t need her mentor seeing her like this, the always capable Warrah, blubbering into the phone because of something she doesn’t understand. She walks all the way home this time; she looks enough like a wild animal on her own right now, she doesn’t need the added attention of suddenly turning into some dog-thing on the bus. She’s jamming her hand into her pocket the second she gets through her door- oh god dammit wouldn’t that be perfect if she left her phone on a café table in 1908- and is relieved to already have several messages from Holly. She briefly thinks about calling, but decides against it. Texting is easier. Texting leads to less noticeable panic attack-induced crying. Warrah reads a few messages telling her to let Holly know when she gets back to the present before spilling her guts.

warrah

hey hol

hollyhock

Hey! You back?

Not that you could respond while you were still where wherever you wandered off to :P

warrah

yeah it was fun, up until the end

uh listen hol?

something weird happened and im still hoping this is some really godawful dream but you gotta believe me

and you cant tell helianthe

hollyhock

Woah, what happened? You ok??

warrah

ok is kinda subjective. mentally, no im a little freaked out. physically uh. also subjective.

im like ALIVE but something real fucked up happened when i tried to trip back

hollyhock

Are you hurt? Did you get messed up in a rift? I’m coming over

Warrah swears and before she can send a strongly worded “NOOOO”, Holly is tumbling through a black hole in the middle of her living room. Her lack of usual grace just makes Warrah feel bad for scaring her.

“I was really hoping you weren’t gonna do that,” Warrah sighs with a tired expression. Holly’s expression goes from concerned to peeved.

“The last time I didn’t do that when you freaked out, you stopped talking to anyone and disappeared for a week,” Holly is standing in her space now, annoyed but obviously still worried. Warrah groans, they could have the bottled up emotions talk (again) some other time.

“Ok, but this is, like, a thousand times worse,” and Warrah stops herself right there and kicks herself again at the way Holly’s face drops, “No, no, no, don’t get worried. Yet. Fuck, just don’t get freaked out, I’m FINE.”

Warrah sits down on her recliner, because she’s not fine, and she can feel the atmosphere around Holly crackling with so much uneasy energy that she’s afraid she’ll either explode or accidentally project a rift into space on her living room wall. She starts over. Holly continues not blinking.

“Everything was fine when I tripped back. It felt weird, because I kind of forced myself out of time, but it was all good until I got back to now. I promise I’m not actually hurt.” Holly’s gone soft again with the reassurance that Warrah is absolutely sure she’s not dying, and she uncrosses her arms.

“Then what happened,” she says quietly.

“I don’t know. I- I really don’t know, I just, one second I was walking home by the river, and the next I was on the ground and I wasn’t… me, everything got all weird and I wasn’t human-“ she stops abruptly again to stop herself from rambling, tries to stop the way her voice is quivering. For her part, Holly looks entirely confused.

“What do you mean ‘not human’?”

“I don’t know! I looked into the river and it wasn’t my face! It looked like a dog but different, I don’t know what the hell it was,” Holly dodges a hand that Warrah flings into the air. She’s yelling now, having given up any pretenses of being calm.

“Are you saying you… turned into an animal?”

“YES! I couldn’t even talk, like my mouth wasn’t right, it wouldn’t work, I don’t how what happened!”

Warrah flops back dramatically onto the recliner, hands clutching her face, and Holly spends a good several seconds trying to convince her pry them away and continue talking. Her attempts are futile, so she speaks instead.

“There’s no way you should be able to shift-“

“No shit,” Warrah’s muffled reply cuts her off.

“- but you play both sides of the fences as far as space/time is concerned. You obviously shifted, there’s no other explanation for that. You’ve got a lot power spread out over different fields,” Warrah’s removed her hands from her face in favor of gripping the sides of the recliner like she’s strangling them, and Holly doesn’t even want to suggest what she’s thinking.

“Maybe you’re a shifter too?”

“That’s literally impossible. Like, that’s literally never happened. Ever.”

“Shifting is weird. The rules change all the time, maybe you’re the first one.”

“Yeah, they change a lot, but you can’t have both, that can’t happen. You can’t double dip, it doesn’t work like that.”

“Well apparently it does work like that, because unless you had the most vivid hallucination anyone’s ever had, you turned into an animal RIGHT after time traveling back from nineteen-whenever!”

Warrah’s hands return to her face, and nothing else is said for several minutes because there really is nothing to be said. The powers don’t work like this, it’s one of the first things they’re taught. You may be born bending space and time or shapeshifting, but never both. Warrah is lost staring at the ceiling in a dissociative state that, at the moment, is a grand relief, until the prickling of Holly’s nervous energy starts making her ears itch. She looks at her pointedly, and Holly removes her knuckle from between her teeth and says the last thing Warrah wanted to hear.

“We need to see Helianthe.”

They’re both seated nervously on the recliner, Holly perched on one of the arms, staring at their phones.

“You text her,” Warrah says.

“What? No, you’re the one with the problem.”

“Ok, yeah, but… please text her.”

“Nope.”

“Hol, she is gonna skin me alive without even having to look at me if I bother her right now-”

“No! What makes you think she’s going to be nicer to me?”

“Because she actually likes you.”

They go back and forth a few more rounds, before Holly snatches Warrah’s phone off her lap and warps across the apartment through a small wormhole in a fraction of a second. She ignores Warrah’s cry of “Not faaaaaiir!” followed by panicked running as she tries to find her, quickly sending the text to Helianthe. Warrah hears the muffled whoosh of an outgoing message from the closet, and skids to a stop to yank open the door. Holly shoves the phone back into Warrah’s hands like it’s going to bite her, and teleports back to the living room. Warrah clumsily tries to find the message she’s sent.

“I’m gonna die. You killed me,” she says flatly.

“Oh no, I’m pretty sure that blame will be placed on me,” Warrah startles, whips around, and stumbles against the closet door just in time to see Helianthe appear from around the corner. She looks past her at Holly, who makes a “peace out” gesture and makes to warp the hell out of dodge. She’s intercepted by Helianthe in half of a second.

“You’re not getting out of this either, I know that text was from you,” she looms over Holly, who skips out of the way in appeasement.

“That’s quite the vague message, by the way. ‘Warrah needs your help’. Are you dead in a ditch or do you need help with your math homework?” She growls, and the air crackles. Clearly they had gotten her from something.

“In my defense, I wasn’t the one who worded it that way,” Warrah backs up as far as the wall will let her and ignores Holly’s betrayed expression.

“Stop throwing each other under the bus and get to the point,” Helianthe sighs.

Holly and Warrah spare a few glances. How were they possibly going to explain this?

“Spill it,” she growls, and Warrah thinks she feels the air around them shake a little.

“Ok, ok, um. Something… weird happened when I came back from my last trip,” Warrah starts.

“Weird?” Helianthe’s eyebrow quirks up.

“Something that shouldn’t have happened,” Warrah gains courage at Helianthe’s apparent interest, “I got back and was walking home and. Uh. I think I shifted?”

“What,” Helianthe says.

“I turned into a dog. I think. Dog-thing,” Warrah blurts out. Helianthe’s eyes narrow and she stares at her.

“What the hell kind of old-timey drugs did you get into back there?” she huffs a laugh without smiling.

“Wha- Nothing!” Warrah sputters indignantly “I fucking shifted! It happened!”

“That is literally impossible.”

“That’s what I said!”

“No, that cannot happen. You know that.” Helianthe gives her a weird look.

“Alright, fine, what’s gonna convince you? Do I need to go get a drug test? Breathalyzer?” Warrah stops waving her hands around when she remembers the ground by the river.

“Wait,” she says, “When I shifted, when I turned back I looked and there were tracks. Mine, then not mine, then mine again. I bet they’re still there.”

Helianthe just looks at her, and Warrah can hear what she’s probably thinking, “how dare you drag me all over town in the middle of the night, what a complete waste of energy, you wasted dumbass”, but Warrah just crosses her arms and stands her ground. Helianthe knows what’s expected of her. Caves. She owes it to one of her best students.

“There better be something there,” she sighs, and tells her to lead the way.

“I don’t think I can ‘port that far,” Warrah confesses. Holly looks up the address, and in the next second is dragging her by the hand through her own portal. Warrah flops into her back as they exit, head swimming, distantly aware of Helianthe’s offhanded praising of Holly’s portal work.

Warrah wobbles over to the bridge, inner ear screaming, and starts swaying for another reason once she gets to the bank. There are the footprints. Hers, then not hers. Helianthe appears beside her, eyebrows shooting into her hairline.

“Well, those certainly are shifter prints alright,” she doesn’t sound one hundred percent convinced, but she’s getting there and Warrah isn’t going to let up.

Warrah stomps one foot on the ground, stamping the impression of her shoe into the dust. She removes her foot and looks up at Helianthe almost in a pout.

“Well,” Helianthe draws out “That’s the same shoe. And the same size of shoe. And the tracks…” She looks back, walks a few yards to see the tracks begin from nowhere. Either they’d dropped out of the sky, or they belonged to a time tripper ‘porting back to her own time. She lets out a frustrated hum, looking back at the animal tracks.

“Say these are yours,” she says “And this did happen. Say you suddenly shifted out of the blue. Never mind that is absolutely not supposed to happen, say these are yours. Shifters are supposed to be able to shift at will, even when their abilities first appear to them.”

Warrah doesn’t like the implications of where this is going.

“If you did shift, you can do it again. So, do it again.”

“What! I don’t know how, I don’t even know how I did it the first time!” Warrah yells in confusion.

“You can do it, if you did it once it won’t be too hard. I’m no shifter Master, but just listen; think about what if felt like when it happened. Just focus on that, your body will know what to do from there.”

Warrah doesn’t like the idea of her body doing anything unsupervised. But she listens anyway. At first, she tries to ignore the sick feeling from before, but then guesses that that was part of it too. She tries to think back, and she wonders if this is what having a flashback feels like, it’s so much different than whipping through time. She focuses and focuses, even when she really starts to feel not-so-good again, and doesn’t stop until she hears Holly’s boots scuffling back, away from her, and Helianthe’s exclamation of “Jesus!” as she steps back. Warrah opens her eyes, and she’s closer to the ground than she remembered. Oh god, she thinks, I was closer to the ground before. She looks down at her feet, now paws, and yelps in a voice that scares her more than her appearance does. She panics and looks up at her mentor again, desperate for any instruction.

“I didn’t think that was actually going to happen,” Helianthe breathes out. Holly looks frozen behind her, speechless. Warrah lets out another panicky noise akin to a cat being stepped on, and Helianthe straightens herself out.

“Alright, don’t panic. Think about yourself now. Just do what you did before, only the other way around, ok?”

Warrah does as she says, and the process of turning back is so much less traumatic, she thinks, flopping into the dirt for the second time that night. She lets out a weird whining noise that reminds her too much of The Animal, and she doesn’t realize how long she’s been laying there, no one speaking, until Holly comes over to peel her off the ground. She lets her haul her up, and thinks about throwing up in the river again. She’s pretty sure she’s crying in front of her near-omnipotent mentor, but she also doesn’t think she cares anymore. Helianthe just tries to mask her shock and sighs.

“Ok. That did happen,” she says, “And… don’t freak out any more than you already are, but you have more than one rule to worry about breaking.”

Warrah isn’t sure if she even has the ability to be shocked anymore. Why the hell not, she thinks.

“You didn’t turn into a dog,” Holly says slowly.

“That was a thylacine,” Helianthe says.

Warrah’s pretty sure she blacks out for a second. She isn’t sure if it’s the physical or mental shock, but there are several seconds of conversation she mostly doesn’t remember, but the snippets she does catch are somewhere along the lines of “this can’t happen”, “supposed to be dead“, and “affront to nature”. She gets the idea, she knows the rules of shifters without being one. Though, she laughs humorlessly in her head, that seems to have changed.

She comes back to the present and Helianthe is still ranting, Holly trying to help her puzzle it out while still holding Warrah up.

“This isn’t right, I have to talk to Diana,” Helianthe whispers quietly, and THAT gets Warrah’s attention.

Master Shapeshifter Diana, oldest Patron aside from the original “deities”. She knows that Helianthe is her acquaintance, all the Patrons know each other, but the thought of Warrah’s name coming up in front of someone so insanely important makes her want to dissolve into the ground.

“Uh, can you not,” Warrah says a little distantly, still on the verge of leaving this plane of existence to wherever her brain thinks it’s safer.

“No, I need to speak with her. Holly, take Warrah home, I need to wrap some things up before we figure this out.”

Helianthe disappears into a disk of swirling black, leaving them to sort that out themselves. Warrah slides her feet along the dirt until she’s sitting, bringing Holly down with her.

“I need to sleep,” Warrah says plainly.

Holly takes Warrah back to her dorm, ‘ports her in so no one sees how much of a mess she is (and Warrah does throw up this time, the bodily confusion of flinging yourself through a wormhole finally pushing her over the edge). Holly’s room is dimly lit and all star motifs and shades of black and purple, and Warrah climbs into the nest of blankets under her bed. There’s still a bag of cheese curls under there from the last time she was over. Holly is obviously trying not to think about what just happened too hard, and forgoes sleep for continuing to work diligently on some comic project. Warrah falls asleep to the sounds of her pen scraping against paper, hand still shoved in the bag of cheese curls.

If she’s going to meet another god, she doesn’t care if it’s with cheese dust all over her sleeve. The world can take or leave her, time traveling and shifting and bad snacking habits or nothing.