#I could be persuaded to attempt to draw them

[murdrdocs]

plsss do fem!reader getting a call from ethan!ghostface 😩 could be smutty or maybe 16+!! also ur writing is so good wtf

ahhh thank you so so much i'm glad u enjoy it! i rlly liked this request :)) this is SUGGESTIVE 16+ but not smut

Sometimes, truly, if you sit in silence for long enough, you start to consider that maybe you aren’t the best person, morals wise. 

You have your good qualities: helping old ladies cross the street, dog sitting for your friends, helping out sick relatives, doing good deeds without having to be told so. 

But the one bad trait, the one you were currently indulging in, seemed to outweigh everything that was good about you. 

Allowing some sick joke between you and your boyfriend to continue. 

As soon as Ethan switched from his usual, saccharine sweet voice, to the raspy, demanding tone of Ghostface, you should’ve told him to knock it off. Seriously. Not with that light, airy tone in your voice that showed how easily persuaded you are. 

But you couldn’t help but let him convince you to continue. Plus, you could’ve pretended that you hated it. Instead…

“Isn’t your line supposed to be: ‘What’s your favorite scary movie’?” 

Ethan, or Ghostface, chuckled. 

“See, you know the rules, sweetheart. Now, what’s your favorite scary movie?” 

You took a second to think, fiddling with the half completed puzzle that you and your roommates have been working on at the coffee table for two weeks now. 

“Probably Get Out. Does that count?” 

“Is that the one by that comedian, Jordan Peele?” 

“Yeah. It’s not really that scary, which is why I like it, but the plot and storyline is horrifying enough.” 

Ghostface hums and you decide to take a leap. 

“My boyfriend likes those traditionally scary movies, with the jumpscares and excessive gore.” 

He takes the bait. “Boyfriend? You didn’t tell me you had a boyfriend.” 

“You didn’t ask.”

You take a seat on the couch, your eyes glancing over the window. Briefly, you considered drawing the curtains, but then Ghostface continued to speak. 

“Hm, maybe I should’ve. Does he treat a pretty girl like you right?” 

“Yeah, yeah, he does.” A beat. “How do you know I’m pretty?” 

“Because I’m looking at you, sweetheart.” 

Your breath hitched. You should have known as much, but just considering the possibility is one thing, having it confirmed is another. 

Attempting to play it cool, you stand to your feet and approach the window. “Really? Because I’m calling bullshit.” 

You pressed your face to the glass and used the hand that didn’t hold your phone to your ear to shield your view from the light inside of your apartment. You scanned the streets below, the windows across from yours, and anything else your eyes could reach, but you couldn’t see anything. It was late, there wasn’t much activity in your complex, and the streetlight that previously illuminated your section of the complex was still out. 

Ghostface chuckled condescendingly. “There’s no point in looking. You won’t find me.” 

Stepping away from the window, you surveyed the apartment. Nothing there, save for the organized mess left by yourself and your roommates. 

“But you can trust my word. I see how delicious you look in that little number. That tight shirt, those tiny shorts. Looking like a whore, begging to be fucked,” he spat the last bit as if the words were venomous. "maybe gutted," he toyed with the idea, “your boyfriend know you walk around like that?” 

Your eyes met the cameras in your apartment, the ones that your roommates decided were needed in this big city. You’d never been more thankful to have them. 

“He does,” you took a seat on the couch again, propping your feet up onto the coffee table and positioning yourself to where you could be seen by the camera. Your legs crossed, and you ran a hand along your thigh. “And he loves it. If he could see me right now I bet he would be cumming in his pants.” 

There was a hitch in his voice, barely noticeable, but there. 

You took his hesitation to spread your legs and trail a hand down to the waistband of your shorts. Your eyes flitted up to the camera, you smiled softly, lifted your hand in a wave, then stuck it into your shorts. 

“You said you’re watching me, right, Ghostface?”

[sayoneee]

☆ CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT

“i want to wear his initial on a chain 'round my neck, not because he owns me, but because he really knows me” - taylor swift (1.6k)

contains: luke castellan x daughter of ares! reader. secret relationship: the three times u guys were almost caught and the one time u were. pre-tlt.

kashaf’s note: working on requests as well so dw!! again. i just like this 1 lyric from this song <;/3

1. 

MORNINGS AT CAMP half-blood were both weird and normal — at a summer camp for kids with godlike abilities, you’d think that maybe they’d be cut some slack from all the monsters they’ve had to evade and maybe be allowed to sleep in some days, but no, life at camp half-blood was a regular survival of the fittest regime. 

or: eat, or be eaten, as you liked to remind your cabin. 

maybe that was why you were notorious among ares cabin, but to the rest of camp half-blood you simply embodied an other-worldly discipline, more of a tactician than anything, when compared to the rest of your half-siblings.  

“hey,” clarisse says in an undertone, nudging you as you take your designated seat beside her, “where were you last night?” 

your hand stilled as you picked up your goblet, shrugging your shoulders as the once-boisterous table came to a stand-still, eager to discover their shrewd head counselor’s indiscretions, hoping for something to loosen your high esteem for them: everyone remembered the time the entire cabin was put on cleaning detail for an entire month to repent for the mistakes of one.

your penchant for collective punishment wasn’t at all well-received among your half-siblings, but well, no one had really challenged you on your position yet, so.

“in bed,” you said, slowly, taking a sip, “why?”

clarisse shrugged, spearing a carrot from your plate, masking her annoyance with you — out of all of your half-siblings, camp half-blood, even, no one could boast of a relationship as close as yours and clarisse’s, yet no one could be more opposite. clarisse was chaotic, you were contained; clarisse was ruthless, you were just.

“i dunno, i just saw two people on the roof of hermes cabin.”

“and?” you drawled, ignoring the blood rushing in your ears, as the rest of your cabin looked on gleefully.

“one of them was castellan,” clarisse paused, searching your face for a reaction — you were grateful for all the nights spent in hermes cabin, because if not for the stolls persuading you to play poker with them almost every time, your expression would’ve never survived under clarisse’s scrutiny.

“the other one,” clarisse pauses as if thoughtful for once, then pointedly stares, pointing her fork at you, “looked like you.”

the other cabins are also looking in your direction as the dining pavilion is so quiet that you can hear a pin drop, before the table finally registers clarisse’s words, resulting in so much whooping and jeering, you’d think ares cabin won the lottery.

you snag a bite of clarisse’s pancakes, each word punctuated by a bite, “what would i be doing with castellan?” you pause, feeling the table pause with you. wrinkling your nose, you continued, “i swear, next you’re gonna say you saw us making out during capture the flag.”

you grinned as the table erupted into laughter once more, this time by your design. while everyone else went back to their original conversations, you’re summoning the memories of last night.

how luke had wrapped his arm around your shoulders and attempted to woo you with myths about the stars, how you had laughed and called him corny. how the moonlight had illuminated his face in the moment, when he laughed back, drawing you in closer, with his usual snarky response of, “you love it though.”

clarisse snapped her fingers in front of your face, bringing you out of your reverie. she frowned, whispering, “you’d tell me though, if that was you, right?”

“yeah,” you nodded, trying not to feel guilty about lying — clarisse deserved the truth. but it went against your agreement with luke. you tried not to think about how you’re essentially picking a boy over your sister.

2.

like all things camp half-blood, if not careful, could result in death — like capture the flag, but did that stop you, or anyone else for that matter, in taking it upon yourself to make winning a matter of life or death. 

this week, you orchestrated an alliance with hermes cabin, because of their numbers and ability to launch unforeseen tactics, and hephaestus cabin, for their resourcefulness. it also didn’t hurt that the head counselors were your boyfriend and his friend, respectively.

you’re standing by zeus’ fist, discussing strategy with luke and charlie, while your respective cabins go off doing whatever it is to prepare, when luke’s sloppily-tied breastplate catches your attention. 

before you’re fully aware of what you’re doing, you’ve already reached forward to grab it, while charlie stares at you like you’ve been cursed by athena and turned into medusa. 

“so,” charlie says, slowly, “anything you guys wanna tell me?” 

luke is silent, watching you work, while you’re too busy focused on fixing the breastplate to notice the knowing expression on charlie’s face, one you would’ve been irritated by if you had.

“nothing,” you say, nonchalantly, whirling back around to face charlie when you’re finished, while luke gets swarmed by the stolls, “these things just bother me.”

“in general, or luke specifically?” charlie grins, that annoying, all-knowing look is back, and although reluctantly, you can see what it is about him that has silena beauregard so hung over. 

“in general,” you say as if it were obvious, as if you’re trying to convince a child that storks are the ones to deliver babies, and no, you’re not lying, (both statements hold the same level of ridiculousness), “it’s the adhd — makes it distracting.”

“uh huh,” he says skeptically, “i’ll take your word for it.”

you resist the urge to shake him and question him more, but before you can toughen up and just ask, “what do you mean?” he’s already turned away, and capture the flag is about to begin. 

3.

“what’s that?” annabeth points at the tiny “L” on your necklace as it swings to and fro, finally set loose from the captivity of your neon orange camp half-blood tee, hidden under your armor.

“what?” you glance down, dropping the sword in your hand to hastily tuck it away, all the while cursing both yourself and luke for being stupidly sentimental. (it was his idea after all, though, you’re not sure how or where he got the necklace from, but you didn’t really care if it was stolen — you wouldn’t put it past him, especially since he was a son of hermes.)

“was that for luke? are you dating him?” annabeth persists, eyes widening with question after question — nothing can satiate the curiosity of athena kids, especially not annabeth, not when luke castellan, her brother, is in the equation.

“no,” you say, trying to catch your breath from the sword technique you had just shown her, and the gaggle of younger campers who have now caught on, looking at you eagerly.

“no to what? no to the initial on your necklace being for luke, or no to you dating him?” another camper chimes in with a bright grin, probably a child of apollo, and you’re so close to shooting yourself on the spot.

“no to all of the above,” you grit out, really regretting being nice for one of the few times in your life, because no one had asked you, in particular, to demonstrate sword-fighting to these kids, luke could’ve done it, but where your boyfriend was concerned, you were too.

“then, how come you have an “L” necklace?” annabeth asks again.

“it’s my mom’s,” you lie, “i’m a year-rounder, so it reminds me of her — before all this,” you waved in the general direction of camp half-blood.

the campers ohh’ed in unison, but you knew annabeth wasn’t convinced.

you sighed, it could’ve been worse.

+4.

you’re not sure when or where the whispers that your boyfriend had returned originated, but after what seemed like eons of not seeing him, you couldn’t find it in yourself to verify the rumors before dropping your sword in the middle of training and sprinting toward half-blood hill to see him for yourself.

you ignore the calls of your name from your half-siblings, as you were kind of in the middle of demonstrating a technique, instead choosing to focus on more important things, like if your boyfriend was even alive.

when you finally do make it to half-blood hill, and catch sight of your boyfriend, with chris and charlie in tow, you don’t stop sprinting, uncaring for all of the whispers from the other campers as they look on. 

when you finally do come in contact with luke, you nearly tackle him into the ground, as he drops his backpack behind the two of you, arms coming to wrap around you to secure you, as you mumbled, “i missed you, asshole,” into the crook of his neck.

luke laughed, the sound reverberating against your skin, and you get off him, taking a step back. he starts to say something, “i —” but is cut off by you grabbing his wrist, and tugging him over your shoulder, his back slamming into the dirt ground. distantly, you can hear the rest of campers gasp, before buzzing with excitement. ignoring them all, you put your knee on his chest, bringing your forearm under his neck. 

“i swear to everyone, if you disappear like that again—” you begin, as luke cuts you off.

“i won’t,” he promises, grinning as you pull him up. luke slings an arm around your shoulder, and you finally notice the jagged scar running down his cheek. 

he catches your gaze and stares at the ground instead, avoiding you.

“you look kinda hot now with the scar,” you settle for, you know you’ll get the chance to properly speak about it later, but for now, this’ll have to do. 

a light pink dusts his cheeks, and luke, looking up at the campers gathered behind chiron, then glances back at you, smirking, “looks like you gave them quite a show.”

you glared at him, shoving him, “i’m going to kill you.”

luke shrugged, wrapping the arm around you tighter, “the damage’s done, now i’ll finally be able to hang out with my girl in peace.” 

© sayoneee on tumblr. do not repost, plagiarize, translate or claim any of my works as your own.

[deadtired-highkeyenergetic]

Hello! May I please request #5 “Flowers” from the prompt list? Thank you! :D

Ayyyyyyy one of my fave prompts from the list! Glad you requested it!!

Summary: You give Astarion a personally handmade flower crown

Each flower has its own unique meaning, though some meanings have been lost to time. Your mother’s voice teaching you the meaning of some flowers has long faded from your memory, a loss you mourn as you scour the markets for books on flowers and their meanings.

You know Astarion isn’t one for receiving flowers, but its not the flower you want him to hold dear to his heart, no, it’s the meaning of the flower that you want to imprint into his mind for all eternity.

By a stroke of luck, you find a book detailing the meaning and uses of certain flowers in Faerun hidden away in the corners of a merchant’s store. A quick purchase later and its now permanently in your hands, ready for perusing.

Astarion raises an eyebrow when he sees you sitting in your tent, engrossed in a book instead of sitting with the others around the campfire, unwinding after a long day of adventuring. The others don’t seem to mind the missing company, but this is most unusual behaviour from you so Astarion takes it upon himself to investigate this change.

“Hello darling, not in the mood for mingling tonight?” He smiles, closing the distance between the two of you. You shift over wordlessly, making space for him and he happily sits down, taking a look at the book you’re reading.

“I had no idea you were into flowers, I thought you were more into…clothes.”

“You thought wrong, then.” His favourite smile of yours graces your lips as amusement flashes across your face. “If however it were a book about clothes…I could be persuaded to be into clothes.”

Astarion can’t help but laugh at your attempt at a sly look and leans in to press a quick peck to your lips. “Leave that kind of talk to me, darling. You’re positively terrible at it.”

“At least I’m not negatively terrible at it.” You shoot back.

Astarion rolls his eyes, half immune to your type of jokes at this point and swipes the book from your lap, curious. You’re left hugging him from behind as he holds the book out of your reach, reading the page you’re on.

“Aren’t night orchids our resident cleric’s favourite flower?”

“Yes, they are.” You rest your chin on his shoulder, still clinging onto him.

“Night orchids are known to symbolise rarity, uniqueness, beauty and spirituality. Who knew her favourite flower represented her so well?” He remarks.

“They also represent someone else very well.” You mumble into his back sheepishly. Astarion hums in response, closing the book after placing a bookmark in it for you and turns to face you, wrapping his arms around your waist.

“Yes, Star?” You ask.

Astarion buries his face into your hair, letting out a soft breath that ruffles the strands on the top of your head, causing you to smile softly and reach upwards to run your fingers through his hair. A quiet purr rumbles in his throat as he leans into your touch, enjoying the attention you’re lavishing upon him instead of the book. You indulge him, knowing nights like this where you’re not needed by anyone else are few and far between. Astarion curls his fingers around yours, enjoying the way your hand neatly slots into his as if they were made for each other. Maybe they were, maybe you were always meant for him and vice versa. He quite likes that thought.

You play with a few strands of his silver hair, twirling them around a finger. “A flower wreath would look really nice on you.”

“Would it now?” Astarion would really rather you remain here until dawn breaks instead of going out to pick flowers, even if they are for him.

“It would. You will look really pretty with one sitting on your head like a crown.” You draw a ghostly circle around his head, mirroring where the flower wreath would sit before clapping your hands together. “That settles it! I’ll make you one!”

Astarion quickly moves to grab your arm, eyes wide as his mouth moves to convince you to stay, to not leave him yet. He’s ready to beg you to remain by his side for what remains of the night, afraid that someone might steal you away from him but you haven’t moved an inch from your spot.

“I still don’t know what flower to use,” you chuckle. “Guess I’ll have to stay here for the rest of the night, hope you don’t mind.”

“No, of course not, darling.” He swallows, shoving his embarrassment to the back of his mind. You lean against his chest, book tossed aside in favour of your lover and inhale his scent, blissfully snuggling against him. He holds you close, tracing patterns on your exposed skin until you fall asleep and he tucks you into your bedroll, pressing a kiss to your forehead and sneaks out of your tent, but not before wishing you a quiet goodnight that you’re far too deep in sleep to hear.

The matter of the flower crown gets pushed to the back of your mind and out of Astarion’s head in favour of more pressing matters as your party journeys on until you stumble upon the cave Shadowheart once lived in deep in the underground Sharran temple.

While the others search the cave for loot or lost childhood memories, a certain plant catches your eye — night orchids. You go about picking them, counting how many you would need for a flower crown that would fit Astarion’s head and are relieved to find there are sufficient night orchids in the cave for your endeavour. Stashing them safely in your pouch, you turn to gather the others and head off to the Sharran dorms for some much needed rest whilst letting Shadowheart take back as much of her lost memories as possible. She deserved that, at least, for all she’d been through.

You claim the bed closest to the back corner of the room and begin work, praying that you remember how to make a flower crown and fortunately, muscle memory saves the day as your fingers weave flower after flower into a circular shape. It’s not the best looking flower crown you’ve ever made, being out of practice, but it’s certainly passable. You turn the delicate object in your hands, checking it over before glancing upwards. Astarion was arguing with Wyll about the bottle of wine he definitely stole despite his claims of innocence and the others were enjoying the show, save for Gale who was cooking tonight’s dinner.

Slipping out of your bed, you sneak over to Astarion’s bed to deliver the goods before walking up to the group as if nothing happened, breaking up the fight that was escalating with the announcement of food.

When Astarion throws back the covers to lie down, he finds a flower crown sitting atop a book he remembers seeing you read before and stares at them, resisting the urge to throw the covers up again to remove the illusion. Surely he was hallucinating or something, no one would deign to personally handcraft something so beautiful and delicate just for him. Or maybe the giver had placed them on the wrong bed, any of the others maybe except for Lae’zel would appreciate such a gift.

“Do you like it?” Your voice sounds behind him. He turns around, nearly dropping the blanket on the flower crown.

“It’s for me?” He asks, confused.

“Yeah. It’s on your bed, is it not? Did I make a mistake?” You frown.

“No, you placed it on my bed.” Had you made the flower crown for him? Why did you spend such precious time and effort on him? The thing of beauty was wasted on someone like him, it would have been better off in the hands of anyone else, even Karlach despite her probably reducing it to cinders before it could properly rest on her head.

“That’s a relief. I thought I had the wrong bed for a moment,” you smile. “Well, goodnight then, Astarion.”

Before he can say anything, you’ve headed off to your bed, leaving him alone with his swirling thoughts. He gingerly picks the crown up, checking to see if anyone is paying him any mind before slipping out of the dorm and putting it on when he deems it safe enough to do so. His gaze falls upon a nearby mirror and sadness clouds his eyes when he realises he won’t be able to see how he looks like with the flower crown. His reflection will forever evade him, not even the tadpole could keep it from running away.

“You really do look pretty wearing it.”

“Why, thank you, darling.” Astarion smiles, taking a little bow. The action causes the flower crown to slip and when he straightens, it’s lopsided.

“Concentrate on the tadpole. I want to show you how you look with the flower crown on.”

Astarion blinks.

“Oh come on, don’t look at me like that. I hadn’t thought about using our tadpoles like this before until Gale pointed it out,” you huff. “I bet you haven’t thought about it either.”

“I —”

“Concentrate already.”

“As you wish, dearest.”

Astarion closes his eyes, concentrating on his tadpole’s connection with yours and when he opens his eyes, a pale silver haired elf stands before him, ruby red eyes piercing into his very soul. He really is pretty with the flower crown on, like you said. The dark blue colour of the night orchids stands in stark contrast against the silver of his hair, creating a halo of blue around his head.

When he next opens his eyes, he’s back in his own body, tears threatening to spill over.

“Thank you,” he manages to whisper, throat clogging up.

“You’re welcome,” you smile softly, reaching over to cup his cheeks. He closes the gap without hesitation, lips meeting yours in a dance of bliss and affection. The night lasts longer than usual, or maybe it was longer than a night but neither of you can tell from underground.

When Astarion heads back to his bed, he remembers the book that is still lying underneath its sheets — a book about flowers and their various meanings with a rather familiar bookmark sticking out of it. He flips to the marked page and the section is titled ‘Night Orchids’. At the end of the passage letters come together, forming a sentence that causes tears to cascade down his face.

Gift this sweet bloom to someone you believe is beautiful in their unique and special way.

[empress-simps]

Close To Me

Pairing: Bodyguard! Marauders x Fem! Reader, Bodyguard! Sirius x Fem! Reader AU: Bodyguard AU / Muggle AU CW: Reader getting kidnapped. Sirius getting injured. Note: This might be the longest one shot I have written so far, this is also my first time writing an action-ish fic? So please do keep it in mind, some parts may be inaccurate.. I also published this at 12 midnight lol. Enjoy!(2.5k words)

You always thought it was a tad bit excessive.

Being the sole heir to a vast family fortune meant that you had the finest thing you could ever want in your life; it also meant that you had the finest protection. Your father handpicked every staff member that was assigned to protect and care for you- going as far as doing not just a background check on them, but also their entire family. Doing a bunch of psychology and loyalty tests were also a must so it was rest assured that they would do their job.

Having one bodyguard? Understandable. Two? Oh, alright just some precautions. Three? That sounds... very safe. Four? Now, that's where you draw the line.

Sure, being born with a golden spoon is great- wonderful, even; but you felt like you were trapped.

You wanted to live life like any other normal human being, away from assassination or kidnapping attempts that were made in your life. So, mustering up every courage you have, you stormed into your father’s study to try and persuade him to just at least assign one to watch over you.

It was expected, you failed.

Now you were stuck with four goofballs bodyguards who would protect you with their life.

James Potter- the strategist. He could sense danger from miles away and best believe that a safe escape plan for you was already formulated if ever things went south.

Remus Lupin- the mediator. He has the ability to appear calm and composed even in the face of danger. Remus saved you more than once just from his voice and words.

Peter Pettigrew- the tech wizard. He’s the one responsible for surveillance, turning any kind of technology into a means of protecting you.

And then there was Sirius Black, the jack of all trades. When your father chose the top candidate, it was him. He was an exceptionally skilled fighter, good with weapons, fast and light reflexes, can speak multiple languages (mainly French), and over all just a well-rounded protector.

Being born into a family with a long tradition and a reputation for producing some of the best security experts in the muggle world, Sirius stood out like a sore thumb. He was the black sheep who defied family expectations. His family's company, BlackGuard Security, was known for its merciless efficiency and rigid standards.

His abilities were evident. Succeeded in every training program he participated in, frequently outperforming his peers with fast thinking and adaptability. Your father noticed Sirius's unconventional approach to security and saw potential in his abilities. When he was assigned to be your bodyguard, he took it as an opportunity to show himself beyond the shadow of his family's legacy.

Sirius is your shadow. He’s never more than a few paces behind. But it wasn’t just duty that kept him so close; it’s the quiet and unspoken bond that had formed between you two throughout the years. A bond that went beyond the call of duty, beyond the formalities. Which he desperately tries to deny.

“Good morning, Remmy!”

You beamed, smiling as you opened the door of your bedroom to see the tall man standing outside, on watch.

It’s still a mystery to you how he looks so put together with his neat hair, suit, and the signature earpiece in his ear even though it’s still 7:00 in the morning.

“Good morning, Miss.” He smiles, closing the door behind you as you headed towards the grand staircase, Remus following a step behind.

“I rarely see you during mornings,” You comment, going down the stairs to grab breakfast.

“James had some matters to attend to, Miss.” He answered, offering a small and polite smile. You hummed, “It’s alright. I like your company, Remmy. Jamie can get a tad bit enthusiastic in mornings.” You laugh, as Remus looks at you.

“Don’t let him hear that or he might just throw a fit.” He chuckled.

“He’s James, it’s normal.” You grinned, seeing the familiar long black-haired guy talking quietly in his earpiece.

“Morning, Sirius!” You waved at him; his piercing grey eyes looked in your direction. “Good morning, Y/n.” he smiled, then went back to talking in his earpiece.

You would be lying if you said you weren’t a bit bummed that you don’t have his undivided attention, Remus noticed this and raised his eyebrow, smiling to himself.

Taking a seat at the rather large dining table, you couldn't help but sigh. Remus decided to tease you a bit, "Were you expecting more from Padfoot?" He smiles, chuckling at the way you desperately try to hide the blush on your cheeks.

"What?! No! I was just pre-occupied with other things!"

Remus doesn't believe it when your eyes wandered in the direction of Sirius who was still talking into the earpiece. "No prongs, she has an event she needs to attend in the evening." You heard him talking to what you can assume is James from the other line.

The scent of breakfast wafted through the air, making your stomach growl as the staff placed the dishes and arranged the silverware for you.

"Would you like some, Remmy?"

"No thank you, miss. I already ate."

As you ate a piece of your breakfast, you looked up to Remus. "Anything interesting stuff for today?"

"I'm afraid today will be quite normal, miss. Just a charity ball your family would attend hosted by the Malfoy family."

You frowned. It's not like you hate the Malfoys, you just don't like how they're trying to set you up with their son, Lucius Malfoy, when it was clear that he is infatuated with his mother's bodyguard- Narcissa Black.

"Do I really have to go?" You complained,

"Prongs already picked up your dress for later, Y/n." Sirius suddenly spoke up, and standing beside Remus. You huffed, already feeling tired.

“Maybe I’ll just sneak out again-“

“No can do, Y/n!” James appeared out of nowhere, his famous grin plastered on his face, Peter trailing behind him, tinkering with what seems to be a mini remote of some sort.

You crossed your arms, eyebrows raised. “And why would that be, Mr. Potter?”

“Because your escort would be Malfoy.” he grumbles, clearly not liking the idea and the dude.

“I beg your pardon?”

You tried not to roll your eyes, keyword, tried. Remus clears his throat, trying to mask his surprise. Sirius felt his eye twitch.

What if something happens at the ball? Sirius is the most capable one of protecting you from danger, sorrynotsorry.

“But!” James blurts, “We’d still attend the ball, not just that close to you.”

“Like that’s any better.”

James frowns, “Sorry. The Malfoys actually don’t even want us to attend and guard you. Your father insisted, telling them you won’t attend the ball without us.” He says, taking a seat beside you despite Remus’ warning glances directed at him.

“Just what do they want…?” Sirius mumbles to himself, already getting highly suspicious of Lucius and his family. (Not because of the fact that you’re about to get arranged to the Malfoy heir, no not at all.)

“They’re probably just annoyed, Lucius really can’t make a move on Y/n with us around.” James said, grabbing a handful of grapes and popping them onto his mouth, making you chuckle as you pushed the bowl closer to him.

“Alright, looking good Y/n!” James grinned, seeing you come down the grand staircase dressed in a red lavish gown with a gold accent.

Sirius felt his heart stop.

There was just something about you that makes his heart beat a little faster, time freezing, and the unusual flips his stomach did when he sees you.

Fuck— you were absolutely breathtaking.

You twirled, making your boys smile and compliment you, but Sirius just stood there, not reacting.

“Do I look presentable, Siri?”

You asked, trying to pass it off as a joke but they know damn well you were serious as you fiddled with a random lace in your dress. Not like Sirius noticed it, no, he was transfixed to your beauty.

“Beautiful.”

That was all you needed to hear.

“Mr. Malfoy, good evening.”

Lucius smiled slightly, taking your hand, and kissing it. “The night could not compare to your beauty, Y/n.”

It took every single fiber of Sirius’ being to not punch Lucius square in the face. How dare he flirt with you when he’s secretly dating his cousin?

You smiled politely, even though all you wanted to do is to stay a good couple of feet away from him. “You flatter me, Mr. Malfoy.”

“I am just stating facts, Y/n.” He offered his arm to you, “Shall we?”

Right. Might as well get over it.

Linking your arm with his, you nodded. “We shall.”

The boys instantly knew there was something off as soon as they stepped inside the venue.

James kept twisting the ring on his pinky finger, already thinking of numerous escape plans for different situations. Peter was on his phone, eyebrows furrowing as he checked and tries to figure out why he can't access some surveillance cameras in the venue. Sirius was on high alert, nothing could go unnoticed, he knows who approached you, how long you've spoken to them, the food that you consumed, and how that stupid Lucius kissed your hand, and interacted with you.

Remus also was alert, but one thing that made the alarms go off inside his head was the four suspicious men dressed in tuxedos quietly slipped inside the venue without getting noticed.

"Marauders, two o'clock. Four men, nearing darling's area quick." He told in the comms, eyes never leaving the four figures.

"Copy, Moony. Wormtail, any news?" Remus' earpiece was filled with James' voice. "Negative. Still trying to access." Out of the corner of his eye, Remus can see Sirius slowly inching to your direction. "Padfoot, do not engage. Wait it out." Remus heard James order Sirius, "I won't." he grunts.

That was when hell broke loose.

With lightning reflexes, one of the men pulled out a pistol and shot the large crystal chandelier causing it to fall and crash to the ground, breaking into thousands of tiny pieces. It was pure chaos, people were trying to rush out of the exits, chairs and tables were turned as they pushed through.

Sirius felt his blood run cold.

He was in autopilot, he dodged a panicked guest and leaped over fallen chairs, all while keeping his eyes on you. He cannot afford for the men to reach you before he does.

Luck was not on his side today.

He quickly closed the distance between both of you. He was your protector; he swore on his life he would protect you. Sirius would even sacrifice his life if it meant that you would be safe. He would do anything for you.

It was proven it wasn't enough when one of the men grabbed your arm, dragging you towards a hidden exit while Lucius Malfoy was escorted by the others.

"Fuck!" He yelled, as one of Malfoy's henchmen shot him in the shoulder to prevent him from going after you.

"Prongs! They have her!" They could all hear his anguished voice through the comms. Remus runs over to Sirius from where he was stationed, "Padfoot, you're injured-"

"I don't care!" He yells at his friend, "We need to fucking find her!"

"Wormtail, you better have the damn access already or I'll skin you alive!" Sirius barks angrily, talking to his comms as he fought the rest of the men with Remus helping him. "I'm in, but it's too late. They jammed the signals earlier and destroyed footages. Go to the exit, you'll see a motorbike on your left-" Sirius doesn't need to be told twice, he did what Peter told him and mounted the motorcycle, Remus quickly joining him.

"Can you see the black car ahead of you? That's them." Peter told him. Sirius was focusing on chasing the damn vehicle, so Remus answered on his behalf.

"Yeah, we're closing in. Prongs, what's your status?"

"Backsup are on their way, they'll be right behind you in 2 minutes."

Sirius felt the distant throb in his shoulder, the warm blood seeping through made his dress shirt clung onto him, but he paid it no mind.

"Keep your eyes on the road, Padfoot!" Remus reminds him as they narrowly missed an incoming truck. Sirius only nodded in reply as he grips the motorcycle tightly, weaving through the traffic and desperately trying to reach the speedy vehicle you're in.

"We're gaining on them!" Remus updates, seeing the familiar back up vehicles approaching, "Back up's near."

"Do not engage until the back ups arrive." James told them in a calm and commanding tone.

Of course.

Sirius will always be Sirius. When had he ever listened to Prongs' orders?

He is driven by his instinct, which is currently screaming at him to attack right then and there. As they neared an intersection, an opportunity was presented to him. He would be a fucking idiot to ignore it. With a calculated risk, he accelerated, effectively pulling alongside the car.

Remus sighs, already knowing his friend's thoughts and getting ready.

"Now, Moony!" Remus, who's on cue, leaned out and desperately tried to reach the car's door handle, and with a few tries, he managed to open it succesfully making him grapple with a man inside.

The car swerves, tires screeching but Sirius kept his pace. He can see you struggling with your captors, and he can hear the backup seconds away. He couldn't wait, every second counts, anything could happen.

"Hang on!" Sirius shouts, with a burst of speed, the backup cars sandwiched the car with you inside, forcing it to halt. Sirius and Remus dismounted the motorbike, guns drawn.

"It's either you release her, or I'll kill all of you and blondie." He growls, referring to Lucius Malfoy who is also inside the car.

The situation was tense, but the arrival of their team shifted the balance. The henchmen, overwhelmed and outgunned, let you go, their plan thwarted. Keeping the Malfoy Heir safe is their top priority.

Dust settled down, and the other staff handled the situation, wrapping it up. Sirius stormy grey eyes met yours in the midst of chaos. His shoulder stung, a reminder of the events that had happened tonight, although it paled in comparison to the concern etched in his face as he rushes to you.

"You're not hurt, are you?" His voice was barely above a whisper as he scanned your form. Your eyes found its way on his injury, "No, I'm alright. But Sirius, you're hurt."

Sirius exhaled a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding, and the world seems to slow down. "I'll live, darling. The important thing is that you're safe."

The sirens, flashing lights, and the buzz all seemed to fade out into the background as you stared into his eyes. Taking your hand in his, he placed it to his lips, pressing a kiss, his gaze never leaving yours.

"I was so afraid I'd lose you," he admitted, the vulnerability in his voice unlike anything you'd heard before. Sirius hugged you tightly, feeling him press a kiss against your hair as you leaned to his chest, listening to the steady thump of his heart.

"You'll never lose me. Never in a million years, how could you when you're always close to me?"

[serxinns]

Scarlet Witch reader x yandere Mha Extras: Babysitting!

• your crazy classmates turn into kids and now you're stuck with them great...

•Turns out that while they were on a mission a time Villian decided it was a good idea to enable his quirk while he was being pinned down and now all your classes are turned into 4-5-year-olds and your teacher is now the same age as you

• when you 1st walked into the room the kids surrounded you and looked at you some were in wonder, some were amazed and some were possessive a tug on the bottom of your shirt caught your attention to look down to see Izuku with his all might figure in hand "hi would you like to play with me!" he said with a big smile in his face you smiled back "ok sure!" "I wanna play with y/n too! "me too!" momo said while frowning the other kids whined begging you to play with them as we "Guys guys!" you released yourself from them "ill play with all of you I promise but I izuku asked 1st so I'll play with him you want to join u can or you can play with Aizawa" your friends all whined protesting but it was quickly shit down by the grumpy teen izuku look back with a smug smile while holding your hand the classmates glared and all thought of one single thing

Game on

•Babysitting your kids was absolute hell for you and aizawa all of your friends wanted to play with you individually

Katsuki wanted you to be the kidnapped prince/Princess so he can be the big hero to save you

Shoto wanted to draw you so you had to sit there and stand still so he can be done (it was a drawing of you and him kissing)

Momo and Aoyama wanted to do a mini-fashion show and wanted you to be the judge so they could both compete with each other and see which one is the best

Kirishima wanted to impress you and get your attention by attempting to break stuff with his quirk so you can call him manly you had to stop him many many times

Tsuyu tryna put makeup on you saying how pretty you are and Hakagure is doing your hair and if you ever move you're hit with a brush by Hakagure

Sero tryna to play Spiderman so he can be your Spiderman to save you but you and aizawa panicked tryna persuade him to come down

Koji is the tamest one he tries to teach you different types of animals and species and whenever you praise him for it he gets so happy he tries to invite them in thinking he'll get more praise at 1st it was small animals but u had to stop him cause it was gonna invite a whole ass snake in there

Sato drags you in the kitchen and makes you watch his baking and wanting to be his taste tester

Mina wants to have a dance battle with you making you put up a much of songs you and herbsould like and make you dance with her

Ochako Wants you to join her making matching love bracelets thinking if you would wear this the two of you could be a couple

Iida wanted to be the little class pet trying to tell off the Kids to let you be and tryna convince you into thinking that he's the only good student here

Tokoyami Wants to nap with you which is your fav thing and he loves to want you to read stories to him

Shoji just wants to cuddle you no playing no running no nothing just cuddling with you while your watching your fav show on ur phone

Ojiro wants to play Karate with you so you pretend to spare with him in karate and pretend to be defeated

Denki wanted to play hide and seek with you but his hiding spot are so bad you tried your best not laugh and see him at the same time

Mineta just kept flirting with you so you had to put him in timeout

Izuku Wanted you to be the villain and he she to be the hero to stop you

You were being pulled in different directions the kids arguing about who gets to spend more with who Aizawa tried to break it up but when they hissed at him and he gave up and said "Nope" It was all up to you so the two of you you were about to snap at the children telling them to stop but you had an idea

you whispered it to Aiwzawa so while the class was arguing you quietly tiptoed to the door gently shut it making sure they didn't notice and out and got some snacks and drinks for them

You got back and everyone was glaring at aizawa

Y/n: Tf are y'all glaring for

Bakugo: Where did he take you

Y/n: To get some snacks-

Tenya: no fair! I would've helped you if you would've asked me

Mina: Me too!

Kirishima: hey I wouldve been a better helper

Katsuki: U STUPIDS WOULDNT BEEN STRONG ENOUGH TO CARRY IT

Y/n: QUIET! it doesn't matter you want the snacks or not

Class 1a: Yea!

You and Aizawa sat them down in a circle-like formation and watch them eat their food praying that the night quill would work

It didn't

The kids were as hyper as ever they couldn't stop jumping around chasing each other Tatsumi was chasing around Kirishima and Mina with a knife it was chaos u had to lock yourself in the closet and grabbed ur cross and pray when someone announced that you were theirs LORD IT WAS A WAR you hid in the closet for what felt forever when you realize it was all quiet

You looked out to be the coast was clear but saw your classmates sleeping Thank god

You brought sleep bags and mats for them and they all slept soundly

[mint-flavoredd]

Helluva Boss + SPY x family crossover inspired by Laviko_weid drawing on Twitter!!!!

I have so much fun thinking of the character dynamics and the fun added bonus of all of them being from Hell. (This is a world where there is a problem of hellspawn migrating to Earth, and the government is working with Hell to purge their world of secret Hellborn residents)

Stolas

Stolas ran away from the throne and his arranged marriage WITH his grimoire when he was 23, fleeing to the human world to start over. (Meaning Stolas is much more accustomed to ‘real life’ than canon Stolas. Still love them both tho)

Due to not using a crystal and instead uses sheer magical will that Stolas stays in human form, he finds it difficult to keep his eyes constantly changed, so opts to just keep his eyes closed. This doesn’t limit him at all, and he can see perfectly fine with them shut. However, if feeling intense feelings, especially if sudden, he forgets or just doesn’t care to keep them shut.

Stolas became an assassin at age 25, finding an odd sense of belonging to the profession. A control he never felt in his previous life. But as the years passed, Stolas became increasingly worried about being found out by the government. Most likely he wouldn’t be executed, but at this point, he has grown fond of his life on Earth and is making no plans on returning to his loveless marriage or royal duties back in Hell.

Blitzø

During the Circus fire, the fire had spread to nearby trees and buildings, including a building that was owned by a dangerous gang in the area, the fire killing a solid number of important gang members. For years they had hunted Blitzø, and while trying to escape them one day, Blitzø landed himself inside of a jail cell, meeting Moxxie in the process. After breaking out, they both decided it would just be safer to leave Hell all together.

Blitzø steals Veroskia’s (how to spell??) crystal and gives it to Moxxie then proceeds to steal himself one by sleeping with a succubus. They flee to earth. Blitzø is 22 at this point.

He found himself hating that hellspawn are hunted on earth (the whole point of going to earth was to be able to live without that fear of being prey) he attempted to become an assassin, however, Moxxie went into spy work and was easily persuaded since he thought it was the next best thing because you got to dress up AND you got to shoot people.

(Blitzø is a great spy because he is unpredictable and spontaneous- definitely a different kind of spy compared to Twilight.)

(Millie is human in this AU, Millie is that one coworker, Camilla, Moxxie is Frankie. These two are married, don’t question it)

Octavia

Octavia’s egg hatched a week after Stolas had left. (Stella had kept the egg a secret from Stolas, wanting to not constantly be pestered by the owl demon)

Stella was set to be wed to another Goetia, and she didn’t want to bring the owlet from her first marriage that failed spectacularly over to her second one. She wasn’t close enough to the newly hatched bird to be bothered. But It couldn’t get out that a Goetia had been given up to the streets of hell, and Stella didn’t want this girl to be unfairly exploited or raised improperly for being a Goetia, especially when she looked so much like her father already. Stella manually transformed Octavia into her human disguise and handed her off to a succubus who she had paid handsomely and instructed her to be handed off to a family who could take care of her. Unfortunately, Octavia had been handed off to demon obsessed lunatics.

At the age of 4, they had Octavia read a spell that they had no idea what it did. She had the magical ability to cast it, but she had the reading ability of a four year old and she was attempting to read a language she had been taught second hand by people who had taught themselves how to read it. It didn’t go great, she passed out in the process, however, when she awoke, she was granted the gift of telepathy.

Stolas and Octavia are both unaware that she is his actual blood related daughter, but it’s constantly mentioned by other characters that they look much more related than Blitzø and Octavia do. But it’s late to change the story now!

When the show starts, Stolas is 28, Blitzø is 25, and Octavia is 5

Also also Loona is Bond, the future seeing dog.

[probablyasocialecologist]

Back in 2005, shortly after Arafat’s death, the situation appeared more open. The PA agreed, in coordination with the governments of Israel and the United States, to hold new elections for its presidency and its parliament (both of which have tightly limited powers under Oslo). This time around, Hamas’s leaders agreed to take part in the parliamentary election. It was the first time Hamas showed a willingness to work within the Oslo framework, the clear goal of which was always understood by the PLO and all other Palestinian and Arab leaders to be the establishment of an independent Palestinian state alongside Israel. When those elections were held in January 2006, Hamas won them handily, taking 74 of the council’s 132 seats. The victory stunned the traditional Fatah leaders of the PA and their backers in Washington and Tel Aviv. In a reporting trip to the region soon thereafter, I found that Hamas’s success reflected a combination of skills: a history of having provided helpful community services to different grassroots constituencies; a reputation for generally “clean hands” (unlike Fatah); effective organizing through women’s networks, with several Hamas women leaders getting elected to the parliament; and good electoral discipline, not running more candidates than there were seats in multi-seat constituencies, as Fatah and its allies did in several places. The elections gave the PLO and its U.S. and Israeli allies a great opportunity to work to find a way to draw Hamas into the political process. Hamas was willing, too, initially making inroads to form a “government of national unity” with Fatah. But the reaction from Israel and Washington was harsh. They threatened to kill any of the newly elected legislators who would agree to join such a government—which I know because I was the conduit for conveying one such threat. Later, Washington and Israel persuaded Fatah to start plotting to overthrow the newly elected leaders of the PA’s parliament and premiership. In 2007 Fatah tried to launch a violent coup against Hamas, but Hamas leaders in Gaza rebuffed the attempt. Afterwards, Hamas set about institutionalizing their position in Gaza while Fatah retreated, with their generous U.S. funding, to Ramallah in the West Bank. All the while, Hamas and its allies retained significant support in the West Bank and throughout the widespread Palestinian diaspora—and remained the democratically elected government in Gaza, although new elections have not been held since. Though by 2005 Israel had withdrawn all its civilian settlers from Gaza, it has always maintained very tight control over all the crossings through which people or goods could pass in or out of the Strip—until October 7, that is. The United Nations continues to deem Israel as the “occupying power” there, with all the responsibilities that status entails under international law. And since 2007, several Israeli governments have undertaken punishment raids into Gaza—actions that some Israeli commentators have cynically dubbed “mowing the lawn.” The raids of late 2008 and summer 2014 were particularly destructive, with thousands of Palestinians killed in total. Successive U.S. presidents have generally seemed happy to allow these incursions. And the United States’ position in the global political order has meant that its word is law.

[novankenn]

Lethal Display

The Mistralian Brown Wolves were the top non-grimm predator on Anima. Fast, strong, and intelligent, focusing on pack tactics to harry, corner and bring down prey much larger than themselves. Moving in family groups of six to twelve individuals, they roamed all of Anima.

Jaune's heart was slamming in his chest, as he backed away from the fanned out group of predators. They had been giving chase off and on for the last several hours. Jaune was tired, and his whole massive body screamed at him, his muscles ached, and he instinctively knew he was running on empty.

The wolves fanned out further. They knew by his scent that Jaunper was prey, but they were being extra cautious. Never having seen anything like Jaunper before.

Even in his fear addled mind, Jaunper was able to draw on Jaune's human intellect. He knew the danger, and could recognize what the pack was attempting to do, and if he wanted to survive he had to persuade them not to try.

Dropping his head low broght his impressive rack of antler's into play. Snorting, while also thumping the ground with his rear legs, Jaune put on a display the wolves had never seen before, and it caused them to back off.

Scouring and goring the ground before him, Jaune showed the apex predators that he was far from done, and was more than willing to fight. They backed off a little more. Jaunper knew it wasn't enough, he needed the to totally give up.

Rattling his antlers, Jaune snorted and then charged towards the left side of the group of wolves. Seeing their chance the right flank charged in, thinking the strange beast had finally made a mistake.

Jaune planted his forelimbs into the leaf strewn gully floor he had been chased into, and spun. Tossing his head to the side, his antler's powered by corded neck muscles slashed to the right catching two of the wolves in the face. But his rear half wasn't idle either.

With his front legs planted firmly Jaune kicked out with his insanely muscled read legs. One wolf behind him was caught on it's flank and thrown violently into a nearby tree, and fell limp to the ground after a sickening crack sundered the air.

The second wolf that had the unfortunate luck to be behind Jaunper barely avoided the fate of it's companion, but not entirely. Jaunper not only had powerful back legs and large feet to propel his bulk at insane speed... her also had razor like claws hidden just below the fluffiness of her toes.

The wolf yelp and limped away a vicious and deep set of gashes decorating it's body.

One of the wolves caught by Jaunper's antler's was bodily thrown a good ten feet into the air, only to crash to the gully floor and let out a pitiful whine. The second stumbled aside, one of it's eyes gouged out, ruining it's chances at succeeding in another hunt.

The rest of the small pack melted away. The wounded that could move limping off, the other one panting as its broken body slowly gave out.

With his ears twitching, and his nose shivering, Jaunper snorted again, before forcing his tired body to move off. He was tired, hungry and thirst... but it was only a few bounds away from the site of his most recent battle when his nose scented something strange... something that shouldn't be there, but also seemed familiar.

/==/

Because Jaunper has mule deer-ish style antlers I decided to use that as inspiration for this "encounter."

So this is my second "Wild Jaunper" short. My first is linked here: "Killer Rabbit"

If you want to know more about the "Hares Breadth AU" and "Jaunper" check out @pilot-boi. She has the answers if you have questions, and has a collection of artwork as well as other inspiring AU's to read about.

Thank you to @pilot-boi for being a good sport about me doing these shorts, and encouraging this second one.

Anyway Hope you enjoyed.

[mi6ato]

Be Quiet

Pairing: Aki Hayakawa x Fem!reader

WC: 2.1k

Warnings: anal fingering, anal sex, unprotected sex, dry-humping, pet naming, nipple play, nipple sucking, profanity

Synopsis: After not being able to spend much time with Aki, he decides to make it up to you in the bathroom at work??

“Mmph-just like that Aki” , you mewl as he caresses your bare thighs and plants deep kisses on your upper neck, traveling all the way down to your collarbone. The warmth of his tongue licking you up and down makes you twitch in immense pleasure, the exhilaration coursing through your veins. 

“Yeah, how about I shove my cock inside you next princess”, Aki coos, reaching his hands to unbutton your dress shirt. “Ready to fuck you up so fast, so fast because of me” 

You tended to forget how horny Aki became sometimes, since he usually stayed composed and stoic until he got home. But this time, he was desperate for you, so desperate that his dick was aching non-stop at work because of how badly he wanted to fuck you. You knew that by the way he was texting you during work hours that he wanted to see you, to feel you, to tell you again how much he loves you. 

I wanna see you, my cock’s hard as shit. 

And what do you want me to do about it?

Fuck me.

We’re at work if you didn’t realize, just go and take care of it yourself…

Why can’t you join me? I haven’t seen you in so fucking long, I want you to take care of it baby. And don’t worry, I’ve found a place where we won’t be disturbed. 

Fine. 

“Are you sure about this, won’t people hear us?” , you remark, folding your lips in utter nervousness since you’d never done this and never planned on it either. You and Aki were in a single cubicle that apparently no one would find unless they decided to root around the entire public safety building. 

You weren’t so keen on it at first, and attempted to persuade him out of it, but Aki implored you to go along with his definitive scheme. To be quite frank, you missed him too, and trying something new didn't seem so bad in theory. 

“Of course I’m sure, I’ve checked and rechecked the premises and I haven’t seen anyone. Now please”, Aki unclips your laced bra and drops it to the floor “Let me fuck you.”

He didn’t have to ask twice. You seize his face and lock your lips onto his, softly at first but intensifying it ever so lightly that he groans for more. Your tongue enters his mouth and whirls around, you could practically taste the cigarette and peppermint. That sweet, familiar flavor made you writhe in delight, it was to die for. 

You really did miss Aki after not being able to properly spend time with him after a couple weeks or so. Work had been so busy for the both of you and even if you did make plans, one of you would opt out since you had extra errands to run. Now though, you could savor every moment you had with him, making him feel so good that he'd plead for more. 

As you continue to kiss him with insistence, Aki’s hands race up to your breasts and begin to fondle them. He goes at it gently, making sure he feels each intricate part of your chest. Aki adores how silky yet intoxicating your skin feels, in stark contrast with his rough, bony hands. He almost feels guilty for touching you but your face gives it away a bit too much, you’re really enjoying the way he’s feeling you up. 

He kneads your tits like dough, varying his speeds so you feel the right amount of pleasure. Fast. Slow. Fast. Slow. You draw away from Aki, saliva trailing between both of you. He licks his lips clean, a smug grin forming on his face, making you blush a bit. Sitting on his lap, you can see Aki pent up in concentration but also, his eyes fill to the brim with desire. 

“A-ah, feels so good Aki, give me more”, you whine, tugging at his top-knot so that he looks at you instead of your bust. 

“Like”, Aki lets out a half-exhale, half-groan, “this?”.

His fingers move to your nipples, stroking circular motions, so much so that he sees them hardening within his touch. 

“J-just like that, oh fuck” you already felt yourself dripping down below as he proceeds to flick your buds from side to side, burrowing his head in between your racks. 

Aki nuzzles within you like a kitten and inhales your scent, a touch of rose combined with musky vanilla. If a flower were to bloom in heaven, then it would smell like you, Aki thought to himself. He cherishes moments like these where you allow him to seek comfort in your touch, like a new-born yearns to reside with their mother. Even if you and him were committing such obscene acts in a highly unhygienic place, one thing you both knew was that you’d still embrace the time you had together to the maximum. 

“Y’smell so nice, I could stay like this forever”, you hear Aki muffle in slow breaths. 

You chuckle, eliciting small whimpers as he begins to succulently graze you with small licks, fingers pressing deeper into your nipples. 

These ever so diminutive movements have you tipping your head back, heaving for more air. His smooth yet sultry tone is music to your ears, he sounds so fucking sexy when he’s ravenous for you, frantic to strip off your clothes and fuck you immediately, but you comprehend that presently, he’s chosen to take it easy and wait for just the right moment. The moment where you’re such a wet, tangled mess, that you’d urge Aki to fill you up with his creamy juices. 

“A-ah, feels amazing, God you’re amazing Aki”, you groan, hands gripping the back of his head for extra support as you straddle his lap. You rock your hips forwards and backwards, maintaining the rhythm with ease. Quickening your tempo, you could feel Aki’s growing erection poking beneath you. 

He felt huge underneath, pulverizing your dampening underwear. You figure that provoking him a bit more, making him just that more aroused, would magnify the already lustful atmosphere. Grinding into his crotch harder, practically feeling his throbbing cock pushing up your pussy, you pull Aki’s face away from your breasts and whisper into his ear,

“I need you Aki, need you so bad. I want you inside of me, please.”

Your tender voice woven with salacity, doe eyes fluttering at him unearthing sincere urgency, Aki can’t hold back anymore, not with his dick twitching in his pants, begging to pound you.

“Take your skirt and panties off sweetheart.”, Aki states, his voice hitting a rich yet sultry intonation. 

You comply immediately, slyly gleaming at him since he was completely unaware of what you were going to do or matter of fact show next. Propping yourself up from him, you turn around and begin to unzip your pencil skirt, not too slow or too fast. As you roll down your skirt, you bend over ever so slightly, but enough so that your ass is pervading Aki’s entire periphery. 

“Do you like it? I picked it out especially for you baby”, turning your head so you could witness how your lover would react to your satin, crimson thong. 

"F-fuck, you’re so perfect, God”, Aki winces, his eyes locked into your sumptuous figure. Perfect doesn’t cut it though. He’s too engrossed in the moment to even spew out how he truly feels about how divine you look. Voluptuous ass curving out as you arch your back, ready to be man-handled. Your tits, which were hard as pebbles, hanging out freely. Yeah, they weren't exactly big, but Aki is infatuated by how he's able to cup them in his palms, doing whatever the hell he pleases so that in return, you're wailing out in arousal. Most of all, and most importantly, he adores your face, the radiating complexion lighting his mood up even on the melancholy, mundane days.  

Your smile widens, “I’m glad you like it, say… why don’t you help me take these o-”, your words cease as you hear Aki get up and feel his calloused hands rip your underwear off. 

“Hands on the door, and try not to be too loud, angel.” , Aki asserts while removing his blazer and unzipping his slim trouser. 

You didn’t know what to expect next. Enthralling as it is, you’re well aware that after you and Aki are done with this “business”, you won’t be walking out the bathroom steadily. Not in the slightest.

Once you place your hands on the antiquated door which could break any minute, Aki’s deft fingers begin working into your ass-cheeks, squeezing outwards, inwards, sidewards. 

“Feel s’good, fuck Aki.” God, you perceived how skilled he was the first time you met, particularly when you and him committed such indecent acts but wow, you didn’t know he was that good at massaging you in the best spots, especially from behind. 

Aki spreads your cheeks, spitting a glob of saliva on his right hand, the other gripping your back to preserve balance. He’s inserting his index finger into your gaping hole, plunging it in and out, swirling around your insides.

Bursting in shock and elation, you whimper “S-shit, go faster Aki, this isn’t enough.”

“Anything for you baby”, Aki tilts his head as he quickens his momentum, adding his middle finger, then lastly ring finger in you. Fingers propelling in and out of you, your breathing becomes erratic, lungs slowly constricting from the sheer pressure building down there. 

"F-fuck, Just put your dick in, goddammit", you cry out relentlessly, tears welling up in your eyelids. 

"O-okay, but I'm gonna go rough. So be warned angel, I really don't want to hurt you." Aki's intonation is soft, comforting and most of all, genuine. He loves you, loves you so much that even if he has the most selfish desires, he'd always put you first, no matter what. That earnestness is what made you fall for the 6"3 devil hunter. And you wouldn't change it for the world. 

"You've prepped me so much already baby, I think I'm ready to take it. I'm ready to take all of you now." 

Aki lets go of you, pulling down his trousers, then along his boxers drenched with pre-cum. Holding onto your hips, he aligns his fully erect cock with your asshole and before you know it, he's suddenly in, hammering his member into you. 

"O-oh fuck you're so good, so fucking good baby." Aki whines, gritting his teeth as he rams deeper into you. This wasn't the first time you had anal sex, but it fucking certainly felt like it. 

He's set out at a harrowing pace, continuously hitting you in spots you didn't even know existed, let alone make you moan out in undiluted bliss. You love it, love it a bit too much that you crave for more. So much more.

"H-harder Aki, harder", you reiterate, making sure he hears your request as the only sounds inherent in the air were yours and his collective groans. 

And he does. He doesn’t respond, but you sure as hell knew he listened to your pleas as his hands clench your hips tighter, rutting his pulsating shaft further into you. Aki’s thrusts are voracious, he’s been longing to hear those cries of pleasure escaping your plush lips, seeing your body convulse because of him, and only him. He's at his tipping point now, gritting his teeth as he reaches his climax, desperate to pump his cream in you. Aki did fantasize about this all day though. 

“I-I’m gonna…gonna cum, take all of it baby, fuckk.”

Aki’s juices pour into you, making you squirm in delight. You didn't mean to be this filthy but God, it was amazing that you could feel the raw sensation of his cock twisting internally, thick cum filling you up to the rim. He pulls out, exhaling harshly, as if he hasn’t retained breathing for months. 

“Such a good princess, for taking me in like that, I just wish we could do more together, but work has us both fucked up.”  

Your mind is hazy, body sore as hell from the way Aki pounded into you. At the same time, euphoria seethes in your blood, his tantalizing words resonating deep within you. Work was a pain in the ass, but surely that couldn't stop you and Aki doing what you wanted altogether.

Regaining posture, you turn around to face him. Beads of sweat were trickling down his face, his shirt clinging firmly to his chiseled build. Looking downwards, your pupils expand in awe. 

Aki’s creamy pale dick, tinged with a hint of scarlet and dripping with cum, greets your vision. Still sprung up in the same position as it was before he blew your back out, you’re met with an untimely decision. 

“Want me to grant your wish?" 

[2kverrr]

SAM GIDDINGS - Dating Headcanons

UNTIL DAWN || Sam Giddings x Reader

sam had 0 time for drama, especially including that of her own friends'. And being one of emily davis' closest friends basically encased your life in her drama.

you didn't feel as close with sam as you were with the group. but you felt most drawn to her, her maturity, her nurture, her kindness. more or less everything your friends lacked.

she's kickass, not scared to put someone in their place, something you never quite found the confidence to do.

she hates fishing, loves gardening, tolerates publicly accessible nature reserves, enjoys outdoor activities, despises zoos and you're not so sure how you know all of this.

you doubt she knows a single thing about you. it's weird - you can be friends with the top dogs and have some sort of silly superiority over people, yet nobody really knows you.

you and sam had spoken numerous times before, each you could remember were rather enjoyable. the two of you got on really well, but it was rare either of you could get any time alone

that was until you were approximately 4 weeks away from winter break.

"for fuck's sake em, just call him." you groan, your left hand massaging the bridge of your nose, but the girl straight out refused aggressively shoving her hands onto her hips and socking her head, yelling, "how many times do i have to tell you. i? am. not. wanting. i. am. wanted. a girl like me doesn't chase after people, they cha-""emily i'm going to leave you with your problem, since it is yours, not mine. see you at lunch." and with that, you head out of the girls' bathroom and out into the busy corridor.

you catch a glimpse of sam leaning against a locker, scrolling through her phone. There’s an ease in her posture that draws you in despite the weight of your worries - well emily's. “hey, everything okay?” sam looks up, her hazel eyes sharp and assessing. it’s both intimidating and comforting at the same time. you take a breath, trying to shake off the frustration of the last few minutes. “just another day in the life of emily,” you say with a half-hearted chuckle, hoping to lighten the mood. sam arches an eyebrow, not buying the attempt at humour.

"mike? is she still hung up over him?" she asks, her voice laced with understanding. you nod, with a deep sigh and an eye roll. "well, at least you're not like that, that's what I like about you." but you're too caught up in staring at her moving mouth to actually respond, before you know it she's waving her hand in front of your face, "huh- sorry, what were you saying?" she giggles, picking up the books from her locker and beginning to make her leave, "I'll see you around."

that interaction definitely stuck with you, or maybe it didn't, but the fact that you continued to think about it for the rest of the day is a big giveaway.

you're almost certain the corner of your eye spotted a suspicious emily briefly witness the interaction and watch you stare giddings down as she walked away, but that's a conversation for later.

after that talk with the blonde, you both found yourselves in more situations on your own, bumping into each other in the hallway, finding yourselves bored at parties, fixing your makeup in the bathroom mirror and seeing a certain hazel-eyes blonde behind you.

the week of receiving the message from josh, you and sam became really close, almost replacing emily in some way. besides, emily was now happily married off to matt, a sweet boy, not the sharpest tool in the box though.

you'd manage to persuade her to let you give her a lift to josh's mountain getaway, despite her refusal she ended up in your passenger seat feeding you mints as you drive.

you get out of your car and begin to lug bags out, placing them on the floor, sam is busy checking out her surroundings quite contently. but she swiftly turns around to face you, "hey, i wanted to tell you something," you raise your head curiously along with a quirked eyebrow, "i know we've been hanging out a lot lately," she continued, her voice dropping to a more conspiratorial tone. "but it feels different, doesn't it? like, we've really clicked, and I really like it - so please expect me to follow you around like a puppy dog... i still can't look at all the guys the same after last year." her eyebrows furrow. you sigh softly, the gears in your mind turning as you contemplated her words, "i get it sam, i like it too," you smirk, ", now am i taking both of our bags up or are you gonna' lend a hand?" she chuckles, her tension breaking as a playful glimmer replaces her earlier seriousness. "ugh - i really thought i'd get away with that." "i'll take them up for you. just lead the way," you nod, "this place really freaks me out."

settling in was a bit of a cofuffle, sam bagsied our rooms and had already called dibs on a bath.

you'd barely made it up the mountain with yours and her bags before she'd waltzed in, beckoning you to hurry up. don't even start on the wall you had to hop.

"guys, guys, hold your horses. we can't get comfy yet - generators, boilers and locks. i've sent mike and jess off to the generator outdoors, em and matt are... um- somewhere," josh takes a long scan for the couple that weren't present, ", right! sam's bath, boiler's downstairs, switch it on then you can have your beloved bath." she firmly places her hands on her hips and tilts her head, "you think i know how to work those kin-" you're quick to cut her off, "i'll go, can't be that hard." shrugging your shoulders. "that's the spirit, amigo!" the dark-haired boy cheers, fussing up your hair. of course sam's protests began, and again you managed to butt in. "look, i know what i'm doing, trust me.” you say, trying to keep the tension in the room from rising. “it should be pretty straightforward. i'll check for the spark plug first—if it’s clean, just give it a gentle pull. worst-case, i might have to troubleshoot a bit more," there's a bit of a silence, confusion mostly, "yeah, um- my dad's a plumber.” you didn't exactly understand half the words you'd just said but if it gave you a chance at impressing sam, it was so worth it. she slowly smiles, "impressive..." biting her lip, looking you up and down with newfound admiration. "who knew you had all these hidden talents?" she teases, eyes sparkling with mischief. "maybe you can teach me a thing or two about plumbing after this bath fiasco." the playful banter felt like a breath of fresh air amidst the clamour of everyone scurrying around and arguing, and you couldn’t help but swell with pride. “alright, let’s see if I can live up to the expectation,” you reply, trying to sound more confident than you felt. josh looks between the two of you, a devious grin slowly forming on my face, "is this- oh wow. this- this is great!" he turns around, presumably going to find chris and ash, you do the same, not at all looking forward to seeing this 20 year boiler in all it's glory.

fortunately, the boiler hadn't frozen over completely.

the basement was eerie enough, never mind all of the creepy shit happening around you: screams, shouts, smashes. something wasn't right.

like any stereotypical horror movie, you walk right into the danger to find out what was going on."

and as always, you were right. josh's basement was fucked up, led to some sort of mine, where you soon found a battered and bruised mike, stumbling his way through the caved area. his ankle didn't look so good, but he didn't complain

the next half hour you were trying to navigate your way, the poor guy was traumatised, jess had disappeared, dead or alive? not a single clue.

there's apparently somebody or something out there with her and they're in the mines, you're baffled to say the least, but you stayed put.

all until a scream was heard, female, it was far yet so close.

"mike! what was that noise?" the two of you pause your movements, and prick your heads up, faint cries could be heard and the occasional, "anyone! help!" you knew that voice, almost naturally you race over the source of the noise, struggling to find a door, "where's jess? is it her? oh, please say it's her." mike whiles up against the wall while you attempt to barge your way in. "sam! i'm here, mike too. i'm coming in." “almost there!” you shout back to mike, who is still positioned by the flimsy beam of light your flashlights provide. he looks torn between helping you and staying on guard, eyes darting nervously around the oppressive shadows. the urgency in your efforts intensifies, and you feel your fingers digging into the rough surface of the door. it shifts slightly, just enough to give you hope, and with one last shove, it creaks open. you stumble inside, breathless, and immediately the air feels thicker, charged with an unsettling energy. "fuck sam! what the fuck happened?" the girl was tied up in a chair, nothing but a towel. whoever did this must've been fucked in the head, sick. you take a cautious step forward, your eyes zeroing in on the girl’s wide, terrified gaze. “you’re alright now,” you whisper reassuringly, though your own insides are knotting up at the sight. "oh my god, you're here... i- he chased me! th- then-" the blonde leans forwards into you once you complete untying her ankle bounds, sore red marks forming over her pale skin. her arms completely wrap around you, she's freezing. sliding off your hoodie and body warmer, you begin to wrap them around the girl. "-sam, it's okay. you can explain everything later. you safe now we-" but before you can finish your sentence, the girl leans in, connecting your lips in a kiss, short and sweet due to their being a third presence in the room. as your lips part, you both freeze, momentarily caught off guard by the sudden surge of intimacy in the midst of chaos. sam's eyes are wide with surprise, glistening with unshed tears, but there’s a flicker of gratitude behind her fear. you clear your throat, feeling the heat rush to your cheeks, but the urgency of the situation quickly pulls you back to reality. "i thought you were dead, y/n.”

after all police interrogation had been completed, those who survived were wasting away. josh dead. matt dead. jess dead. sam and yourself isolated yourselves from the rest.

after sam almost sacrificed herself to save you, you made an oath to yourself that you're forever indebted to her.

you were in love - even amongst the sick and twisted events that you two had to go through.

you both didn't go out as much anymore, your previous party-girl lifestyle completely left behind.

instead you both settled on movie nights or cooking sessions.

you immediately expanded her music taste, she's a great girl but her music taste could definitely do with some improving.

rock climbing dates, kayaking, surfing (which you absolutely smashed - sam could barely stand up on the bored)

sam always managed to convince you to go camping with her, bribing you with all sorts, despite your hatred for bugs.

she's the most peaceful sleeper, she looks like and angel when fast asleep. you're both early birds, which meant you really enjoy spening the morning in bed just admiring one another.

every month or so you'll pay a visit to the friends you lost together, paying respects. hell even josh - sam calls him mentally ill, whereas you call him batshit crazy. but he was your friend, one of our closest, you're still unsure to this day why you were apart of his cruel game but you couldn't keep dwelling on the past so you came to forgive him.

it's even rare to see the friends that made it out alive, you knew chris and ash moved away together, forgetting all that had happened. the last you heard off of mike was "i'm igniting some old flames - definitely going for drinks soon?"

it'd been 3 months and you never went to see him.

you and sam assumed that old flame is emily, your once best friend who you hadn't spoken to since before the disaster.

[bookish-whore]

Meant to Be

Azriel x Reader

Words: 7k

Warnings: fluff, mutual pining, suggestive sexual behavior, angst angst angst angst (I’m warning you it's verryy angsty), canon typical violence, major bloodloss, character death

A/N: Okay this is the longest fic I have written so far and it might be the saddest thing I’ve ever written. It is loosely based on this lovely request. I took a few liberties with the plot, but I ended up really loving it and I hope you do too. <3

My Masterlist -> Here

Join my Taglist -> Here

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Azriel sprinted through the woods.

He knew there wasn’t much time, and he was desperate. He continued trying to use his magic but the faebane coursing through his body prevented him from winnowing, from using his shadows, and from communicating to the high lord.

He was stranded.

He held your body close, attempting to shield you from the rain, although the storm was the least of his worries. He was most concerned about the deep gash across your abdomen, the wound had been steadily bleeding with no indication of slowing down. You had already lost so much blood, he needed to get you to a healer and quickly before it was too late. He pushed that thought out of his head. You would not die; He wouldn’t allow it.

He took a deep breath, praying to the mother that you would be alright. You suddenly stirred in his arms, the movement catching him off guard. You whimpered; the pain must be excruciating and the sound of you in pain ignited a raging fire beneath his skin.

Azriel held you closer, hoping that his scent would help calm you. Even though you didn’t know about the mating bond, he had to hope that your fae instincts would still recognize the connection and that it would help soothe you.

“Shhhh it’s alright little dove, I’ve got you” he whispered into your hair as he clutched you to his chest. The rain droplets steadily sliding off his skin and onto your face.

You coughed, it was a wet sputtering sound and Azriel looked down to find blood trickling out of your mouth. He fell to his knees cradling you in his arms. “Y/n, stay with me, just a little longer” he pleaded as your eyes closed once more.

You were still breathing, but only barely, a death rattle settling in as your body began to shut down. He picked you up in a swift motion leaping into the air, opening his wings wide as he took off. He knew the flight would only exacerbate your injuries, but he was running out of time. He had no other choice.

72 hours earlier…

Azriel had no idea why he was being summoned to the High Lord’s office, he had just seen Rhys and Feyre last night for dinner and he couldn’t fathom what was so urgent. That was until he walked into Rhys and Feyre’s office to find none other than Eris Vanserra engaged in a hearty conversation with his high lord and lady.

Eris had been a spy for the Night Court for some time now. It began a few years ago, during the war and as it turns out Eris was a decent male, he much like Rhys, had been perceived as a villain because his circumstances demanded it, Eris was the next in line to inherit the Autumn Court and once his father was dead and he could ascended the throne he ensured them that a series of changes would happen in the Autumn Court.

Eris greeted Azriel with a simple nod of his head and began to share his information, what pained the shadowsinger was that it was good information and was the key to a number of issues that had been steadily piling up.

Apparently, Beron had been busy these last few weeks, building alliances with some of the more traditional Illyrian Lords attempting to persuade them into a full-blown rebellion against Rhysand. This wasn’t surprising considering Azriel’s own reports stated that there was increased tension and unease within the training camps. What Eris revealed is that the incidents that were drawing attention were staged to draw out the more powerful members of the court. Beron had been hoping to kidnap a member of the inner circle for leverage. Thankfully, it wasn’t going according to plan.

That information caught the High Lord’s attention. Rhysand immediately laid out his plan, he wanted to infiltrate Beron’s ranks, to find who exactly was calling the shots.

Which was why he summoned y/n.

Azriel shifted in his seat. He knew y/n was capable, he had trained her himself but that meant he would be in close proximity to her which might prove to be a problem considering she was his mate, and she had no idea and Azriel was content to keep it that way for now.

There was a quiet knock on the door.

“Come in” Feyre yelled

The door opened and in walked y/n, Azriel couldn’t help but admire her as she made her way across the room to them.

“Y/n, thank you for joining us on such short notice” Rhysand said

“Of course, it sounded urgent, and your letter said it was time sensitive” she said taking her seat opposite Azriel

“It is, Eris has told us that there’s going to be a ball in the Autumn Court tomorrow evening, and I want you and Azriel to attend as emissaries to the Night Court.” Rhysand began “You’ll be gathering information on Beron’s dealings, who he sees and what they discuss but I do not want either of you to engage. This is strictly reconnaissance. From an outside perspective you will purely be there as my emissaries for the Fall Equinox”

“When will we leave” Azriel asked

“Today” the high lord answered “I want you to arrive with all the other guests, it’ll make it easier to blend in”

Y/n nodded along through the remaining details, they would be staying in the Forest House with the other guests attending the festivities and Eris would alert them of any activity they should be privy to.

Azriel and Y/n packed quickly, said their goodbyes and they began the long journey to the Autumn Court.

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After nearly 24 hours of traveling, taking lots of breaks for Azriel to rest between distances we arrived in the Autumn Court.

 It wasn’t what I expected.

I guess hearing stories from Lucien and Eris about their father and their upbringing I somewhat expected the Forest House to be more ominous looking. Azriel and I exchanged a quick glance as we walked up to the gates of a gorgeous stone manor with lots of windows, surrounded by changing greenery. The trees varying shades of violet, red, orange, and yellows. It was idyllic really.

When we reached the doors, Azriel reached to grab the elegant bronze fox door knocker, hitting it against the wood to alert our hosts we had arrived. I wrung my hands in front of me, nervous as the door opened to reveal Eris? I was surprised he answered and not one of the servants in the house. He opened the door and gestured for us to enter, he was trailed by three massive black dogs, with a snap of his fingers they immediately ran off in a tight formation.

“Welcome to the Forest House” he said, making a show of taking my hand and planting a kiss to the top of it. Azriel looked annoyed at that gesture. I didn’t mind, it was all about appearances and we didn’t know who was watching us.

As we walked through the halls of the manor, I took in the paintings lining the long halls and the dark décor that adorned the house. It felt like we walked for ages, through winding halls until we stood outside double white doors.

“This is where you’ll be staying, remember that the ball is tonight in the west ballroom, formal dress, and don’t be late you don’t want to draw attention to yourselves” Eris said before unlocking the door and stalking down the hall back the way we had come.

Azriel and I looked at each other and entered the room.

It was really a stunning space, we were on the fourth floor and the window overlooked the trees in the forest surrounding us, it was an array of orange, red, and violet as far as I could see. There was a fireplace and a sitting area with a couch and some armchairs. The chairs nowhere near large enough to accommodate Azriel’s wings. I took in the other aspects of the room. there was an ensuite bathroom with a large sunken bath and a shower, at least the bath was large enough for an Illyrian, I thought as I surveyed the rest. My eyes locked on the last detail. The bed.

One Bed.

I felt a blush creep into my face as Azriel and I made the same observation.

“Don’t worry y/n. I can sleep on the couch” he said breaking the silence

“Don’t be ridiculous” I said “You would never fit on that couch”

He laughed at that “You’re right, perhaps the bath then” he raised his eyebrow suggestively

“We can figure out sleeping arrangements later” I tried to redirect the conversation away from beds and sleeping as I made my way to the closet.

“Y/n we are both responsible adults, we can just share the bed” he said

“I wouldn’t want Elain to suspect anything” I said, my back turned to him as I unpacked some clothes for tonight.

“Why would she suspect anything?” Azriel asked as he made his way over to me to continue the conversation

My eyes widened, had I misread their relationship? “Well, I figured that you two…”

“Were together?” he prodded

I nodded my head in answer “aren’t you?” I asked

“No” he looked at the floor, hiding the grin that spread across his face “She is just a friend, I helped her a lot while she was transitioning to fae life but there has never been anything romantic between us, she has a mate and I respect that”

“Good to know” I said trying to hide the blush that swept across my face as his gaze lifted to meet mine. He nodded and his gods damned stare was so intense, I immediately wanted to change the topic of conversation.

“We should probably go over the plan” I said softly, suddenly hyper aware of the fact that I was alone with him. and he was so close, his familiar scent of night chilled mist and cedar drawing me in. I cleared my throat and walked into the sitting area. He didn’t think of me that way, I reminded myself. He had no idea that I had harbored feelings for him for years, and I wouldn’t let this mission ruin that.

I sat on one of the armchairs as Azriel took the sofa, he splayed his wings across the cushions, his shadows making an appearance. He had probably sent them to secure the room and gather preliminary information about who was here, and where.

We sat and talked about our strategy; I would take point being that no one really knew who I was which we would use to our advantage. I would dance with as many of the lords as I could to make conversation. My power was useful in this situation because I could look through people’s minds when I made physical contact with them. This made dancing the perfect opportunity to gather as much as I could while Azriel monitored from the shadows.

“You should rest before tonight” I said, “I’m sure you’re exhausted from winnowing and flying us all the way here.”

He nodded “I didn’t realize how tired I would be, it’s been quite the journey”

“How about you bathe now, and I’ll wake you a quarter to the party to get dressed” I proposed

“Alright” he agreed, standing, and making his way to the bathroom, the door closing behind him with a soft -click-

He took his time in the bath, while waiting for him to finish I had called for tea and some food and took up his position on the couch. I figured I would read one of the books I had brought with me to keep me occupied. It was a recommendation from Nesta, she always gave the best recommendations. I poured myself a cup of tea and picked up where I had left off.

Just as I was settling into a decent reading pace, I heard the bathroom door open. Gods damn him. I thought as Azriel emerged from the bathroom. He had to know what he was doing. He had only a towel slung low across his hips, his bare chest still wet from the bath and the tattoos across his chest looked darker in contrast to his tan chest. He had another in his hands and was using it to dry his hair. I couldn’t help but stare as the muscles in his arms flexed with the movement.

I nearly choked on my tea as he made his way into the closet. I heard the rustle of the towel falling on the floor and focused all my attention to the book, my eyes were glued to the pages, but I wasn’t comprehending anything on the page, my thoughts were purely on the gorgeous naked man in the closet.

He reappeared a few minutes later in a simple pair of linen pants, his chest still bare and his toned chest on full display. How I wanted to feel the power of all those muscles…

I pushed those thoughts out of my mind and tried to focus on the page in front of me.

“Wake me in a few hours” he said, looking at me with a smirk on his face, yeah, he definitely knew what he was doing.

Bastard.

“Mmhmmm” I mumbled pretending to be completely focused on the book in my lap.

-----

A few hours had passed. I checked the time from the clock on the mantle of the fireplace and decided I should begin to get ready. I grabbed a satin dressing robe from the closet and made my way to the bathroom. I couldn’t help but stop and look at Azriel, sleeping peacefully on the bed his breathing slow and even. He looked so carefree like this, and I resisted the urge to crawl into bed next to him. I shook those thoughts from my head, this was going to be a long mission.

I took my time in the bath, enjoying the variety of scents and soaps available. I washed my hair and scrubbed my skin until it was pink, once satisfied with my handiwork I climbed out of the tub and toweled my body dry, putting on the green dressing gown and I wrapped my hair in a towel and set it atop my head.

I emerged from the bathroom to retrieve my dress which was currently hanging in the closet, I expected to find the Shadowsinger still fast asleep, but to my surprise Azriel was awake, he sat in the center of the bed his back propped against the large headboard and a book in his hands. My book. I realized seeing the scarlet red cover. My eyes widened as they met his gaze.

“This is quite interesting material y/n” he said with a roguish grin “I wouldn’t have pegged you for a smut reader. I mean this is quite explicit, even for me, and I have 500 years of experience”

“Perhaps you’re simply out of touch” I quipped “and don’t be such a prude, there is nothing wrong with smutty books”

“Tell me y/n, do you imagine yourself in these situations” he asked, his eyes burning into me

“I will not dignify that question with an answer” I said “Instead of this questioning, perhaps you should get ready for tonight”

“Whatever you say little dove” he answered

I made my way back to the bathroom, closing the door behind me and exhaling the breath I didn’t realize I was holding. I hung my dress on the door and made my way to the sink to splash some cold water on my face. As I looked at myself in the mirror, I decided that two could play at this game. With a giddy smile I got to work.

-----

With a final glance in the mirror, I smiled at my work, I had decided to go for a simple but sultry look. I kept my makeup minimal but added dark winged liner to the lids of my eyes and painted my lips a deep red color. My hair I decided to leave down, letting it fall in big loose curls down my back. It was time to put on the dress I brought for the ball, it was typical night court black, floor length and was corseted which accentuated my waist, and breasts nicely. It also had an off the shoulder detail which I loved. I clutched the fabric to my chest, holding it in place as I made my move.

“Azriel?” I called, opening the bathroom door a crack “Can you help me” I asked

I heard his footsteps approach, and he opened the door, stepping into the room.

We made eye contact through the mirror, and I noticed the way his eyes drifted over my body, lingering on the open back of the dress.

“Can you lace me up?” I asked my voice slightly catching in my throat

He simply nodded, making his way behind me as he took the ribbon in his hands and began lacing up the corset. I involuntarily released a harsh breath as he tightened the dress.

“Is that too tight?” he asked, looking up from his task to meet my eyes in the mirror

“No, its perfect just caught me a little off guard” I said with a smile

He nodded and continued; my skin tingled as his scarred fingers touched my bare skin. I couldn’t help the indecent thoughts that flooded my brain as his skilled hands tied the ribbon.

“There, all finished” he said, his hands lingering on my hips. His pupils were blown wide as I looked at him

I cleared my throat “thank you” I said softly reaching for my necklace

“Let me” he said extending his hand to me. I placed the diamond necklace in his palm and brought my hands to my hair, pulling it to the side as he reached around me to clasp the jewelry in place.

“Beautiful” he said under his breath, his eyes raking over me before he turned and left without another word.

What the fuck was that. I thought as I took a few minutes to compose myself before stepping into the main area of the room.

I found Azriel dressed and sitting on the edge of the bed. He looked good, he wore an ebony tunic brocaded with cobalt and silver, dark pants, and black boots that reached his knees. I realized we had coordinated outfits as the blue in my jewelry matched the embroidery on his tunic.

“We clean up pretty nice don’t you think shadowsinger?” I teased

He smiled, before extending his arm to me. “Shall we?”

I ignored the butterflies in my stomach and took his arm.

Together we made our way into the fox den.

-----

I was exhausted

It had been hours of dancing and using my magic to gather information. To be fair I had learned a great deal like that Beron’s target has been to kidnap Mor or Feyre and use them as leverage. I had also learned that the meeting with the lords was happening at noon tomorrow and that would be our best chance to gather who was the mastermind of this entire scheme.

By this point it felt like I had danced with every male here. To keep up appearances I made my way over to Azriel, who was currently getting us drinks from the open bar.

“You’re doing great” Azriel whispered, handing me a flute of some kind of sparkling wine. I took a sip, enjoying the fruity taste.

“I’m exhausted, and nearly drained” I told him “I don’t think I can do anymore tonight Az” I whispered

“You’re almost done for tonight little dove” he said placing a reassuring hand on my lower back.

I couldn’t help the fluttering in my chest at his use of that nickname.

“One last dance and we can go back to the room”

“With who? I think I have danced with every male in this room. Including Eris” I said

“With me” he said extending his hand, his Hazel eyes swirled with an emotion I couldn’t quite place. I delicately placed my hand in his and he led us onto the dancefloor as a slow waltz began playing.

Azriel pulled me close, one hand resting around my waist the other still grasped in my hand. I followed his lead, placing my free hand on his shoulder as the music swelled.

Something about this, being so close to him just felt… right? I couldn’t quite explain it, but as our bodies moved in time with the orchestra it seemed like the rest of the world faded away and we were the only two people in the room.

I was brought back to reality with the sound of clapping as the music stopped. We both made a show of bowing to each other before making our way out of the ballroom and back to our quarters. It was a silent walk; I didn’t have the energy to make casual conversation after the intensity of that dance.

I entered the room first and Azriel closed the door behind us as I made quick work of turning on the faelights casting the room in a soft glow. Even in my exhausted state, I feel his familiar presence behind me.

“Do you need help getting out of that dress?” he asks, his voice soft and low

“I would appreciate it” I said, my voice barely above a whisper as I felt his hands glide down my body to undo the knots he made only a few hours ago. I am hyperaware of every place our bodies are touching.

“All finished” he says, leaning down so his mouth is flush against my ear. Its like electricity as his hand meets my bare shoulder, turning me to face him.

I keep my eyes down, looking directly at his chest. He brings his hand to my jaw, placing his forefinger and thumb under my chin gently forcing me to meet his gaze.

“Y/n… you are beautiful” he whispers, like if either of us speaks too loudly we’ll be forced back to reality.

“Don’t say things like that” I whisper back, our bodies so close that our breath mingles in the space between us. The tension palpable as the seconds seemed to stretch.

“Why not” he says, his pupils blown wide.

“Az…” I say, any protest leaving my body as he holds me close. his head craning down. I can’t think as his scent envelops me. My eyes flutter closed as he closes the distance between us, and his lips meet mine.

It feels so right, like we were two halves of the same coin, like we were meant to be.

I bring my hands to twist in Azriel’s hair, deepening the kiss as his hand drifts to my lower back pulling me against his hard body. I let out an involuntary moan at the contact. He took the opportunity to intensify the kiss, his tongue meeting mine as all my doubts and insecurities flew out the window.

After what seemed like an eternity, he pulled away. Placing a chaste kiss to my forehead before making his way to the closet, to change no doubt. I took his lead, confused as ever, and made my way to the bathroom to change out of my dress which was already hanging off my body. I stared at myself in the vanity.

“What the fuck are you doing?” I whisper to myself in the mirror “you idiot”

I quickly take off my dress, putting on a nightgown and remove the makeup from my face. I put my hair into a simple braid and make my way to the bed. Azriel still hadn’t emerged from the closet.

I tried not to think about how he was feeling as I tucked myself into the warm covers.

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I don’t even remember drifting off to sleep but it takes a moment to register my surroundings, I must have passed out last night after…After that kiss.

I went to throw the covers over my head before realizing that I wasn’t alone in this bed.

Azriel had slept in the bed…with me

He was still fast asleep, his chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm. He had changed into just his sleep pants, his wings were relaxed and tucked behind him, from this position I wondered what it would be like to wake up to him every day.

Stop that. One kiss does not make a relationship, we had some drinks and were both tired. It was probably just a fluke incident. I convinced myself.

I quickly got up, calling for breakfast to be delivered to our room. I didn’t have the energy to get dressed and go downstairs to mingle with everyone from the night before. I’m sure Az would agree when he woke up.

A few minutes later a soft knock sounded at the door, I threw on my robe and padded over opening the door for the sweet nymph pushing a cart full of food to the sitting area.

“Enjoy your meal miss” she said, curtsying before turning and leaving the room closing the door behind her.

I heard a rustling sound as Azriel stirred. He slowly sat in the bed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he threw the covers off him and made his way to where I sat.

“Good morning” he said

“Mmhmmm” I replied as best I could, with a mouth full of food.

He smiled “Did you sleep well?” he asked as he prepared a plate for himself and sat opposite me.

“I did” I said, meeting his gaze looking for any sense of regret, or shame from last night. “How did you sleep?” I asked

“Better than I have in decades” he said scooping a heap of eggs into his mouth.

A moment of tense silence passed between us

“About last night” he began

“We don’t have to talk about it, we can just chalk it up to drinks, and exhaustion” I said

“I was just going to say—”

“That you regret it?” I interrupted “don’t worry I do too, so we’re on the same page”

His eyes widened “you regret it?”

“We crossed a line Az, we got swept up in the theatrics of the mission and that’s in part, my fault” I said

“If that’s really how you feel” he said

“It is” I said, but I didn’t dare meet his eyes. He would see that I was lying.

“Alright then” he says.

We finish our breakfast and get ready for the day in silence.

-----

I decided to take a walk along the grounds to clear my head before we planned how to infiltrate the meeting with Beron. It was so tense during breakfast that I needed an escape. Azriel insisted on coming along, for safety, and while I could handle myself, I didn’t protest.

Once we were a safe distance from the house, Azriel said he was going to find a quiet place to train and update Rhysand. He stalked off into the forest, but his shadows remained, swirling around me, keeping tabs on me while he was off.

I walked for a while before I heard a rustling sound behind me. I turned around expecting to find Azriel but was more surprised to find three males I hadn’t seen before.

“Well, well, well, look who it is boys” one of them said “the spymasters little whore”

I hid the panic in my eyes and focused on what I would do. I was alone, with no weapons of my own and I was outnumbered. I decided that my tongue would have to hold them off. If I could distract them long enough, then Az’s shadows would report to him and he would be here in no time.

“Sounds a lot like jealousy to me” I purred back. I wouldn’t let this male intimidate me.

“Why would I be jealous of a female who’s probably been passed around the entire Night Court? I’ve heard stories about how the Carynthians share their women. At least until that High Lady Whore cornered the market”

I hid my disgust “Be careful how you speak about my High Lady” I sneered

“What are you gonna so sweetheart?”

“Whatever I need to” I replied, taking up a defensive stance that Azriel taught me.

“No need for all that, we couldn’t care less about Azriel’s little whore. We just want him. and you’re gonna help us find him”

“I would rather die”

“That can be arranged”

As one of them stalked towards me, I let him think he had the upper hand before I lunged, kicking him swiftly between the legs. While he doubled over, I ran, sprinting through the woods. Not caring about the branches catching my face.

I saw him in a clearing, running through drills on his own.

“AZ” I screamed

He turned immediately, his eyes raking over me for any injuries. “y/n what happened?” he asked frantically wiping the blood from the cuts on my face.

“Males…three…looking- for you” I managed between breaths.

“Okay- its alright, calm down” he said “I want you to go to that clearing” he pointed to a spot within his eyesight that was hidden from the trails. I nodded taking off and getting into position, I decided to stand behind a tree to hide my body from sight.

A few minutes later there was a rustling as the males from earlier made it to Azriel. He easily attacked, taking them down in just a few movements. But he was distracted, the three males in front of him were a diversion as another group approached him from behind, one of them cocked an arrow and sent it flying towards an unsuspecting Shadowsinger.

“AZRIEL” I screamed drawing his attention to the male approaching him from behind. He was slightly too slow turning and got nicked in the arm by the arrow. I noticed the slight wince as he regained his footing. Easily taking down the three remaining males that were pursuing him.

Watching him in combat was a spiritual experience, the way his body parried and struck. He had hundreds of years of experience and in moments like this it clearly showed; I couldn’t help but think back to that dance last night. The feel of his hand in mine, his body pressed close to mine, our breath practically mingling and that kiss…

Before I could register what was happening, I was on my knees, my hands clutching my abdomen. I was so distracted making sure Azriel was alright I didn’t notice the two males approaching me from my position. One of them had me by the hair, twirling it around his fist to get a firm grip on my head while the other cleaned his blade, the blade that just sliced open my abdomen. I wanted to curl over and clutch the wound but the hand in my hair kept me stretched upright on my knees.

Azriel swung his head in my direction, his eyes wide as he took in my situation. He quickly ended the remaining male slicing his throat open in one swift motion and stalked his way over.

“Let- her- go” he said through gritted teeth.

“She seems like such a fun plaything; you sure you don’t want to share shadowsinger?” One of them asked. They both laughed at the comment.

“Step away from my mate” Azriel said, his hazel eyes burning with such intensity I almost felt bad for the end these two males were about to meet. He was death incarnate, and he had a score to settle.

His mate… I thought before the world went black.

Present…

He had flown for what seemed like hours, his wings burning from the strain. He had never flown so fast. As the distant lights from the Velaris began to appear, he felt the effects of the faebane begin to wear off as his shadows appeared, swirling around you, waiting for instruction as you currently lay limp in Azriel’s arms.

He screamed in his mind, calling to the high lord and communicating that the mission had gone horribly wrong and he needed Rhys to get Madja and meet him at the House of Wind. He held you tightly in his arms, whispering words of encouragement into your ear as he winnowed to the house.

As soon as he arrived in the foyer he screamed for help and Nesta appeared. Her eyes widened as she took in your unconscious body. She wasted no time, screaming for Cassian and gesturing the shadowsinger to follow her into the closest sitting room. she pushed a couch to the center of the room, clearing its contents to create a triage area where they could work on you.

Cassian ran into the sitting room, taking in the situation before shouting he would get supplies as he ran to the nearest window, leaping out of it and taking flight.

Azriel gently placed you on the couch, taking just a second to smooth the hair from your face. He sank to his knees beside you as he checked your pulse. It was incredibly weak, but it was there. Nesta’s voice cut through his thoughts.

“We have to try and stop the bleeding, if she loses anymore she’ll be in real danger and…and we’ll only be able to do so much to save her” she said

Azriel nodded his head, he pulled truth teller out of its harness and delicately cut away the top of your leathers so they could clean and evaluate the wound. Nesta made sure to keep your breasts covered, she dressed you in a bandeau style top that would keep your middle exposed while you still remained covered, she knew you would be mortified if everyone saw you naked while you were unconscious.

While she dressed you, Azriel went to work cleaning the area around the wound he gently soaked a cloth in alcohol and delicately removed the dried blood, dirt, and debris from your abdomen. He hoped this would make Madja’s job faster, and easier. He knew that time was running out. He shook that thought from his head and continued to work. You had to be okay.

Nesta muttered something about pain medication and that she would make something for you to take the pain away. He doesn’t really recall anything except that Nesta left the room.

You stirred, Azriel’s attention was immediately on your face, looking for any indication you were lucid.

“Az?” you whisper, slowly blinking open your eyes.

His body goes rigid at the sound, he could sob from the sound of your voice.

“y/n?” he chanted over and over, like he needed to be convinced that you were here with him. that you were still alive.

"I- I lied" you said, Azriel froze

"about what sweetheart?" he asked

"about regretting it. t-the k-kiss" you said, tears lining your eyes.

"that's okay- it's alright" he said, wiping the wetness from your eyes.

“I- I heard what you said” you said, your voice barely more than a whisper

“What I said?” he asked, his eyes frantically sweeping over yours in an attempt to understand what you meant.

“That we’re m-mates”

He felt his heart stop, “Y/n, that’s not important right now.” he held your hand tightly in his pressing a light kiss to it “help is almost here, and once you recover, we can talk about it. Just wait a little longer darling”

“I’m t-tired of waiting Az..” you said reaching into your pocket and finding a caramel candy, you always carried them on long missions. You held out the toffee colored sweet in the palm of your hand urging the shadowsinger to take it.

His eyes went wide “are you positive you want this, that you want me?”

“I-I…h-have nev-ver been more s-sure of anything” you strained to say “I have b-been in love with you f-for years Az. I w-was just scared that y-you didn't f-feel the same”

Silver lined his eyes as he took the caramel from your palm, unwrapping it and popping it into his mouth. Even in your severely weakened state he felt the mating bond roar to life. That glowing band tethering your very souls together. In that moment he felt nothing but pure, unabridged happiness.

“We’re going to be so happy y/n, I promise” he said as his hands moved down your body. He began to apply pressure to the gaping wound across your middle. He could feel your pain, the mating bond allowing him a glimpse of what you were experiencing, and it was agony. Your voice pulled him from his thoughts.

“Because w-w-we-were m-mates?” you asked

“Because we’re meant to be little dove” he reassured you

“m-meant t-to b-be?” you said between gasping breaths. Your eyes were sparkling despite the pain a smile present on your lips as you imagined a beautiful future between the two of you, but you felt so tired, so extremely tired. Perhaps you would just rest your eyes.

You took a deep breath before your chest stilled, your hand going limp in his, as your eyes rolled closed. Azriel immediately leapt into action. He held the cloth close to the bleeding gash on your abdomen applying pressure in a feeble attempt to stop the blood flow.

“You will not do this to me” he practically screamed as Madja entered the room. “You will not leave me, if I have to claw my way to Hel and drag your soul back to this plane of existence I will, I swear it.” He growled laying you flat to begin chest compressions as Madja assessed the damage to your body.

He needed you and he refused to let you go like this. Not when you just accepted the bond. Not when he imagined a future with you by his side, a future he wanted to promise to you. He would do anything. If he had to cleave out a piece of his own heart to save you, he would reach into his chest with his bare hands to get it. because he could not live without you.

You took a deep gasping breath, faint color blooming on your cheeks as you groaned in pain.

Madja said a prayer under her breath as she began muttering words in a language he didn’t understand. As she spoke, glowing tendrils appeared and began swirling around your body patching the superficial damage while she cleaned and worked on closing the worst of the injuries on your abdomen.

Nesta returned then and began working in tandem with Madja the two of them falling into a steady rhythm. Azriel decided to let the women work, he left a shadow with you holding your hand as he stood in the doorway watching you, his mate, his love, his everything. He brought his hands to his face and allowed the emotions to flow.

He didn’t know how long he broke down, but he began stitching himself back together. As his breathing evened, and he wiped the wetness from his eyes the front door swung open and Azriel turned to find Rhys, Feyre and Cassian making their way to the room.

“Are you alright” Rhys asked, Azriel knew that the High Lord was trying to distract his brother from the knowledge that his mate was on deaths doorstep only a few feet away.

Azriel nodded looking over to where you lay, he could still feel your pain through the bond.

“Rhys… can-can you take her pain away” Azriel asked softly, his red rimmed eyes meeting that of his friend. Rhysand could see the desperation, the pain in the shadowsingers eyes and he nodded making his way closer to y/n.

Through the bond Azriel could feel the high lord as he took your pain, replacing it with happy memories and feelings of comfort. Azriel brought his hands to his face and let the tears flow freely again, unable to control his emotions. His shoulders shook as his knees buckled and he almost fell to the floor.

Feyre was quick to pull him into a tight embrace, she looked to her own mate, their minds meeting as he urged her to prepare for the worst. Feyre’s own eyes filled with tears as Madja’s voice could be heard pleading with you to hold on, to stay with them.

Azriel broke the embrace with Feyre and lunged for y/n, but Cassian and Rhysand were there hauling him away from the makeshift bed where Madja tried to save you. His shadows swirled frantically around him, as if they too understood what was to come.

No force in the world could prevent it.

He felt it then, a pain in his chest.

He fell to his knees, the tears steadily streaming down his face as the realization set in.

The mating bond. It was breaking apart. The edges fraying and snapping as you slipped out of this world, as you slipped away from him.

He clung desperately to that limp string tethering you here, tethering you to him. He wrapped his magic, his very soul around it begging for you to stay, begging all the gods of this world and beyond to save you. But it didn’t matter.

Nothing mattered as he felt it snap.

As the mating bond was cleaved in two.

Where there was once a glowing reassurance of a future, a golden ray of sunshine to brighten his darkness there was now nothing. There was just an overwhelming feeling of emptiness that overcame him.

You were gone.

He let out a bloodcurdling scream, clutching at his chest. He wanted to claw out the shredded remains of his heart. The heart that still beat for you.

That would always and only beat for you.

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Thank you for Reading!

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Taglist (All Works) -> @cherryjain17 @we-were-beautiful @moonfawnx @cityofidek @daily-dose-of-sass @marvelouslyem @moonlightazriel @frieddesigninspiringquotesslime @indaybella99 @gray08 @dreamsofivy @gorgeouslysent

Taglist (Azriel Only) -> @ellievickstar

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[stromuprisahat]

Siege and Storm- Chapter 17

After some deliberation I've decided to put almost everything from the first part of this chapter under a single post, because all of it is thematically intertwined. It paints a picture of the state in which Ravka finds itself, its treatment of Grisha, all the reasons Aleksander attempted the Coup, and how he's about to get repaid.

Wow, I wonder why would anyone mind being perceived as no more than (annoyingly) living, breathing furniture...

... at best.

Why is Ravka so behind in military development?

There wasn't an involved Tsarevich to sweet-talk the Royal Couple into letting the Fabricators work on ~that~, because let's be honest- it certainly wasn't Alina, who persuaded them.

And the best mind they have doesn't want to create tools of destruction (and apparently the big, bad Darkling didn't MAKE him, if David's so shocked by use of Alina's powers to spread the Fold).

*mumbles*

As if he'd never done that before... as if the Darkling were a stranger to battle...

Shadow and Bone- Chapter 10 & Rule of Wolves- Chapter 33

Yeah, he sounds exactly like the kind of general, who stays in the rear...

Look, I know Sikurzoi are supposed to be uninhabitable or whatever, but let's be honest- which mountains (in mild climate) are completely uninhabited? Why wouldn't Aleksander- a lives-long student of survival- use otherwise hostile place to hide?

I know ~I~ would.

Do you mean "Are there any living Grisha left, stationed there?".

Geeez...

Zoya truly doesn't acknowledge the First Army massacres, does she? And the word ~would~ have reached them at this point, even if we ignore the dead from Grand Palace. Fedyor's group's in Little Palace!

Remember, children: It doesn't count as war, if they only regularly attack your villages, draw back, and their government claims it knows nothing!

He’s never faced the might of the First and Second Armies working in tandem... I wonder why... Could it be because your precious First Army hates his people so much they went to slaughter them the moment the Darkling's out of the picture?

I know this is Naïve Nikolai, but the way he puts it... as if otkazat'sya working alongside Grisha weren't exactly, what's Aleksander trying to achieve for centuries. As if he didn't manage it on smaller scale with his oprichniki. As if he should be surprised by mere possibility of it!

The weapons will be only a cherry on the top, the reason he keeps using nichevo'ya even though it costs him dearly. It's the kind of weapons he fears, because he knows, what it can do to his people (aside from rendering them strategically useless). He's seen massacres, he caused massacres, he cannot prevent them. And let's not forget he might be in the front line, but it will be those remaining 80 % of Grisha right behind him. And Nikolai's fancy new machine guns won't miss them more than his Army's weapons did.

This is horrifying.

They intend to slaughter the man for the crime of standing up to their regime and finding a way to substitute his people with canon fodder of magical variety, completely disregarding whys, or bothering to check if they're not living in a glasshouse first.

Why is no one asking about the pogroms? Why is no one questioning Grisha safety FROM FIRST ARMY?! Why do they act as if another massacre of Grisha should solve all their painfully obvious issues?!

Why am I supposed to wish THEM success?!

In a way...

How is your victory gonna ensure Grisha a place in Ravkan society, Alina?!

You murder the Darkling together, good... then what? Ya'll get a nice house in the country and your neighbours won't burn it to the ground? Stone you to death next time something bad happens? Never again- Grisha being dragged out of their beds in middle of the night?!

THAT'S what Aleksander feared- once Grisha are no more necessary for the wars, there's no place for them in THIS Ravkan society! Unlike otkazat'sya, those weapons don't make them vulnerable only physically!

This makes my head hurt.

Are they truly this blind?!

There's not a single voice raised against cooperation with the very same people that have been murdering theirs mere weeks ago, but the Darkling is some sort of ultimate evil on word of one (1) girl and the remains of her semi-official ménage-a-trois?!

[justi-faiz]

"Justice For Kaixa" is the rawest depiction of trauma in Tokusatsu History.

Hello, I am Wil Justifaiz and this is my first ever attempt at structuring something for Tumblr so please be patient with me. Faiz has been my favourite show in all Tokusatsu, maybe my favourite piece of television ever, despite is very notable flaws. The story of finding your place in a world that refuses to accept you and will villainize you, that will treat you like a monster no matter what you do, the story of overcoming trauma that Faiz represents really speaks to me.

Every single character in Faiz is a victim of severe trauma that shapes their story throughout the entire show but none of them manages to foil and progress the show in the way that Masato Kusaka does. In my completely honest opinion, Kamen Rider Kaixa is the best anti hero the franchise has ever seen and no other character has ever managed to even remotely capture the complexity of his character. A complexity that is on full display in his focus episode, Episode 37: Justice for Kaixa

//SPOILERS FOR THE ENTIRETY OF KAMEN RIDER FAIZ!!!

Justice for Kaixa takes place shortly after Takumi's secret identity as an Orphnoch is revealed to the rest of cast, an event that fundamentally shakes up the dynamics of the tightly knit friend group that Faiz is known for. The episodes prior to this primarily focus on how this impacts Takumi's relationships with Mari, Keitaro and Yuji as they all struggle to truly adjust to this change. However prior to this episode, there is very little exploration of what Kusaka, Takumi's biggest detractor and the primary hater of Orphnoch's, thinks beyond it just being a justification for his hatred. This is addressed directly in this episode as Justice for Kaixa serves as an explanation and an elaboration of WHY kusaka is the way he is, why he has all those unexplained quirks and why he tends to get defensive and begins to gaslight people whenever he feels like his control over a situation is questioned.

During the following conversation with Kiba, Kusaka accidentally slips up when talking about Takumi, his hatred of Orphnoch distracting him from the possibility that Mari and Keitaro could take offense from that. This is unusual of the always reserved and calculated Kusaka who tries to always appeal to Mari and Keitaro in order to sustain a social control over them, something which shows to us as the audience just how deep Kusaka's hatred of the Orphnoch goes. But why...

Kusaka during the rest of the scene tries to reassert his dominance over the discussion by comparing Takumi to Sawada, even if his point is very much false, something he may or may not be aware of (depends on how you interpret his view on orphnochs, he could genuinely mean this, I am not sure), however Kusaka's logical stance and well worded points that directly draw from Mari's personal struggles is exactly what Kusaka thrives on. The reason he gets away with everything he does in the show is because he can CONSISTENTLY make a good case for himself and KNOWS how to justify his place there depending on who he is talking to. This is Kusaka's strong point, the core of Faiz's drama and THE MOST IMPORTANT DETAIL OF KUSAKA'S CHARACTER THAT SO MANY PEOPLE GET WRONG, Kusaka's need to be in control of everything in his life is the DIRECT RESULT of his trauma and it's what shapes him into the toxic and controlling piece of shit that he is. (and why I really like his writing 98% of the time.) Kusaka, as well worded as his points were, slowly comes to realize that, he didn't succeed in persuading Mari that Takumi needs to die. This is the set up to what I believe to be the best depiction of trauma induced panic attack that I've ever seen in a piece of media. Mari calling Takumi even if Kusaka's told her to stay away is what makes Kusaka realize he is losing control over the situation, a situation which hits VERY CLOSE to the most traumatic moment of his life.

The next shot we see of Kusaka is him aggressively cleaning his hand, a trait that he has displayed ever since his debut, as he mumbles in frustration as to why Mari can trust an Orphnoch so willingly, the very thing that got them all killed all these years ago. Kusaka is very much aware that Mari has no recollection of the event but the irony of it all, how she shows such unconditional love to the very thing he has been trying to protect them from just sets something off in him. Along with that Kusaka begins to feel frustrated that all his efforts to impress Mari, the only person Kusaka seems to have any real feelings of affection for, the only person who Kusaka is willingly to do anything for and the only one who he desires affection from, is seemingly betraying all his efforts without even acknowledging ANY of them. This is the part of the essay where I need to point out, Kusaka's entitlement to Mari's affection is OBVIOUSLY a toxic trait that is very much KUSAKA'S FAULT, just because I will rationalize WHY he has this tendency doesn't mean that Kusaka is JUSTIFIED in any of this. Kusaka's mommy issues and desire for Mari's affection often times has Kusaka disregard Mari's feelings for the sake of comforting himself. Kusaka isn't exactly an incel like Micchy gaim but his unhealthy obsession with Mari is very much a fundamental character flaw.

This is where it happens, one of my favourite scenes in the entire genre, Kusaka PTSD triggers as we finally receive the pay off to his little hand washing quirk as the blood of that night is covering his hand. Seeing this scene for the first time gave me chills, everything about the way things unfold, the score setting in the panic, the build up to it, the eventual "jumpscare", the incredible directing work and of course the highlight that makes it all work together so nicely, the sheer horror in Kusaka's face, an absolutely phenomenal performance by Kohei Murakami that manages to PERFECTLY portray just how scary this hallucination is to Kusaka, just how desperate he is to suppress that night from his brain. All of it is simply brilliant. The show does not try to soften or stylize or shyly draw an allegory to it, Kusaka's panic attack is raw, it's scary and it's very real. They did not shy away from showing just how helpless the all powerful and calculated Kusaka becomes during these episodes, being "reduced" to a screaming and panicked mess, lashing out at his surroundings as he smashes anything his way in this panicked state, trying everything in his power to convince himself that this night never took place.

The scene is chaotic, Kusaka violently trying to scrape the blood of his hand but no matter how hard he scrubs it the blood just won't come off, he fidgets he tries to look away, his breathing becomes heavy and erratic, the sharp violin and the thuds keeping you at the edge of your seat as we see this character who has always been in control breaking down as all his efforts accomplish nothing. No matter what he does, nothing will ever scrape off the warm, crimson blood from his hands and that is terrifying. It's a constant reminder that no matter what Kusaka attempts he will never EVER be able to overcome this event, he will never be able to clean off that blood from his hands. This scene explains EVERYTHING about why and how Kusaka is the way he is, this moment of sheer panic ends as abruptly as it started but it's message is still clear, the blood is something only Kusaka can see, a trauma he can't clean off, even if it's not visibly there anymore, his hand will never be rid of the blood it touched that night, Kusaka will NEVER be able to get rid of what happened to him that night. That's what makes Kusaka's character so tragic, that no matter what he does, he will never find peace.

Even if his hand is clean, Kusaka has been so shaken up by this very moment that he is still manic and unable to compose himself no matter how hard his tries as his panic attack continues. Kusaka looks disgusted and completely shaken up during this entire sequence as he gets up and begins to just smash shit up before he spots the only other thing in existence that acknowledges that he was there that night, the poster with his name written on it. Nothing and no one else in the entire world knows what happened but that poster, the only thing that forces his to acknowledge that night AND THUS if he destroys it, then nothing else can force him to acknowledge that night. The way Kusaka drops on the floor as he desperately tries to erase his name from the poster with a box character almost makes you feel bad for him because he isn't angry, he is desperate and that's what makes it feel so sad. Kusaka is reduced to a complete mess that is completely alien from his usual self because of how debilitatingly traumatic this memory is for him.

The roughness of how he gets to cutting up the poster is pure directing brilliance that is exclusive to it's time, the very wide shots that make Kusaka look small, the way Kusaka can't even compose himself to place it on the table, throwing everything around in his attempts to place it on the table, the messy and very rough attempt to tear out his name. All of it is genuine scary and sad to watch.

Mari catching him during this episode is another great choice to really add onto just how hard it is for Kusaka to control himself during one of these episodes, Mari confronting him as he fails to properly compose himself for long leads to one of the only moments where Kusaka gets violent with anyone that isn't an orphnoch, Takumi or Yuji as his composed and friendly facade COMPLETELY dissipates when confront with his trauma. Not even Mari, the most important person in his life is safe from this need to repress that memory at all costs. This shows Kusaka's need for control in full display because it provides us with the reason, Kusaka losing control of a situation reminds him all too much of that day where he was too helpless to save Mari or himself. Kusaka's need for control is a self defense mechanism, that night left him incapable of ever being vulnerable again whether its socially or physically, Kusaka is a character which every bit of his backstory serves as a reminder to the audience that this is a man who has gone through INDESCRIBABLE trauma without ever receiving any professional help to mend his broken psyche. This is why I find myself able to like Kusaka's character because, even if his actions are unforgivable they are all very rational once you understand who he is and why he is like this. Kusaka is an asshole who was forged through trauma. A narrative that often gets overlooked in recent media is how not every traumatized character is innocent and soft and just needed a big ol' hug to become a good guy. Don't get me wrong, I love characters like that too but Kusaka portrays a really ugly truth that genuinely makes me question why he is such a rarity. He is a traumatized person that never got the help he should have received, he never resolved his traumas and if I may mention a previous episode, his only guidance in life, his adoptive father enable and directly leads him into his path of self destruction, a topic I could and probably will go on about in my inevitable Kusaka deep dive, however the core of this message is how Kusaka is a bad person because he never resolved the issues he had, he never got the help he needed and he has never felt safe since that day, his entire life is a series of unfortunate events. A lot of people forget that Kusaka is an orphan as well, the reason he cares for Mari so much is because she provided him with the protection that he was looking for from his deceased(or maybe she just left him) mother.

Kusaka is what happens when a traumatized person never finds a way to healthily resolve his problems, that gets encouraged to indulge in his darkest thoughts in order to feel safe. This is what makes him such a perfect foil and anti hero. Takumi is also traumatized and yet, while takumi resolves his issues by finding people that will unconditionally love him and bonding with others like him while Kusaka isolates himself further and tries to find a way to be above others so he doesn't get hurt.

This is also why I get so pissed when people call Kusaka a villain, he is very much not that. A big part of kusaka's appeal to me atleast is how he is an anti hero because, much like you and me, he is a normal human. He isn't some sort super villain, he consistently fights for a just(on paper) cause, he is a hero who is a bad person. That's what makes him so unique. He is a bad person that isn't evil.

I'm running out of images so I won't go into as much detail about the rest of the episode + this is what I wanted to talk about mostly but yes, Mari telling Kusaka that Takumi could be the orphnoch that ruined his life is a vital piece of information that in his mind justifies all his hatred against Takumi but in order to assure this theory he needs to calm down, this is where we see Kusaka slip back into his usual persona to ease Mari into sharing the information he needs.

The drama sparked from this episode is just phenomenal and the character work it does for Kusaka is equally as good, I do heavily suggest to people that feel like they still don't fully understand Kusaka to take a look into his 2 character songs, Existence~KAIXA-nized Dice and Red Rock. Both of these songs delve deep into Kusaka's ideology, Existence explores his belief that only he knows the reality of the world, that only he can change fate for he is the only one who is truly "aware". To simplify it, Kusaka sees himself as the main character and everyone else is an npc he has to befriend or take down, that only he knows what's best. Meanwhile Red Rock explores Kusaka's need to be the victor in the end along with the previously stated inability to be vulnerable around others, in a world where people can betray you, Kusaka finds it impossible to confide in anyone for he may be caught of guard and be hurt once again by it. Kusaka wants his peace and does not trust ANYONE to help him with it. So until he wins, he will keep on fighting, he will fight until he has full control over fate itself. That's what makes Takumi such a good foil for him, because Takumi questions said authority while displaying no real drive of his own. It's a fight between the most driven and determined man who is set on revenge vs a man who has no ambition beyond maybe seeing tomorrow. Their rivalry is peak.

The reveal of the blood not being shed by Kusaka and instead being Mari's blood that Takumi supposedly shed is just a great touch, it recontextualizes Kusaka's protectiveness of Mari during the events of faiz while being a genuinely shocking and REALLY well shot scene.

The episode ends in Kusaka trying to resolve his problems by avenging mari's life along with his. In his mind executing Takumi is the only way he can find peace as he prepares to kill him, only held back by Yuji's attempt to rescue Takumi.

This episode is quite honestly one of my favourites in all tokusatsu and what makes Kusaka go from just an asshole that brings forth REALLY GOOD drama, to a tragic, three dimensional character who I can understand and empathize with while rooting against him at every turn. He is truly the most nuanced anti hero in the franchise and there will never be a character like him. I'm so glad that Kohei Murakami thinks so too, often referencing his role as Kaixa and celebrating KAIXA-day every September. He is a one of a kinda character that I genuinely think people should genuinely take another look at and try to see more to him that just how much of a dislikeable asshole he can be. How kaixa's belief that he determines fate is the grave act of hubris which leads to his eventual demise... Thank you all for reading! Faiz is my favourite piece of tokusatsu to ever come out of Toei and it means a great deal to me. I only now realized I never took a deep dive of it before so I thought I should give it a go by analyzing one of my favourite episodes. If you liked it please let me know, I really appreciate all the support! Also kusaka in my mind is 19 and no ancient site from 2003 can convince me that he is actually 21, that's stupid and weird. THANK YOU, BYEEEE!!!!!

[silentsnowflower]

ThunderClan Family Tree - Or the Family Wreath

Was pondering Mapleshade’s Vengeance and how it seems that she was completely forgotten within a generation or two and one thing led to another. Below is a very messy, cannon family tree for ThunderClan as best as I was able to draw out the relationships. I still don’t understand how she was forgotten so quickly unless Oakstar decided to bury the whole affair as one buries their dirt.

Few things that are interesting to me:

How is it that the Erins chose from two of the more inbred family lines to make the most inbred protagonist that the series has seen??? Poor Moonpaw, no wonder she’s a little odd.

8 generations of cats isn’t a very long time - or so it seems (as defined by who the leader is). The events of Mapleshade’s Vengeance take place nineteen years before Firestar and the current series is 13 years after Firestar arrives in the forest. So 8 generations covers 32 years. In other words, a single generation spans four years. Considering how quickly as cats reproduce and how harsh life is for feral cats, the total number of cats in ThunderClan doesn’t seem realistic.

The Erins killed off very few cats during “major catastrophes” such as the battle with BloodClan, the destruction of the forest and the journey to the lake, and the final battle. In the most recent arcs, the clans feel very bloated. I think this is attributable to the fact that the Erins kill no one off!

Correcting the Family Wreath

This correction is mostly for my AUs and my rewrite of the warrior series. I could not proceed and stick to the family wreath. I wanted a proper family tree with minimal inbreeding that spans the 8 generations of ThunderClan. Correction of the family wreath necessitated addition of several OCs. I also modified existing relationships and changed names that I did not particularly care for, did not feel very ThunderClan-like, repeated names, etc. Furthermore, cats were limited to two litters and Queens did not have to disclose the father of their kits. When a litter’s father is unknown, they are presumed to be outside of the clan. Certain branches of the family tree have been excluded for simplicity’s sake and because their lineages continue in Clans outside of ThunderClan.

Honestly, this family tree is more confusing and challenging to navigate (for me), but certain lineages do not cross until the 7th and 8th generations (see, Erins? How hard is it?).

This took me far too long.

Divergences from canon (my headcanons and AUs):

Frecklewing had a litter of kits that Mapleshade was unaware of when she murdered the she-cat. Because Thornclaw is related to Frecklewing, Mapleshade recruits him to the dark forest.

Speckleflight and Tawnyspots are littermates. Tawnyclaw is named after him.

Robinchest did not plan on having another litter of kits after her first died during the Great Hunger, but Fuzzypelt eventually persuaded her that they were unlikely to ever see a leaf-bare like that one again. Hollowflight and Hickorynose are named for the Great Hunger - for hollow bellies and gnawing on bark to survive. Robinchest wanted to name Hickorykit Barkkit, but Fuzzypelt wanted the littermates to have similar sounds in their names.

Longtail is made deputy and is blinded during the destruction of the ThunderClan camp. He does not step down as deputy until he falls over the cliff of the hollow and resigns, feeling unsure about his position in the clan.

Lynxpaw and Swiftpaw survived a bout of greencough that swept through ThunderClan, killing Berrykit and Leopardfoot. Goldenflower lost both of her kits to the dog pack, in a foolish attempt to confront the dogs directly and drive them out. Lynxpaw and Swiftpaw gave their lives to allow the rest of the patrol to escape, but in Bluestar’s madness, she refuses to give them a warrior name to carry to StarClan.

Brightpaw and Thornpaw are well past of the age of becoming warriors when they volunteer to lead the dogs to the gorge. Brightpaw is caught and savaged by the dogs, but Tulip-paw comes to her rescue, distracting the dogs and allowing Sandstorm to take over the relay. Tulip-paw was severely wounded and found dead next to his best friend, Brightpaw, who is barely breathing. Fireheart, not yet Firestar, names her Brightheart before traveling to the Moonstone to receive his nine lives. He is afraid that she is going to be there to give him a life.

Cinderpaw takes the name Cinderstep, as a reminder that she needs to just keep on taking one pawstep after the other. She chose her name - not Yellowfang.

Seedpaw swallows too much water when trying to rescue Dandelionkit during the storm and the flooding. Dandelionkit and Seedpaw die together, from dry-drowning, hours after the clan believes that they’re okay.

Dustpelt was never Ferncloud’s mentor.

Cloudtail and Brightheart have a large litter of kits, but only make the journey across the mountains with Whitepaw. Rustpaw was captured by the twolegs and does not join the clans until seasons later - after Graystripe and Millie return. She arrives without a clan name, and three young kits: Snow, Dew, and Amber. She is welcomed back into the clan and is made a warrior without sitting vigil.

Tawnyclaw is named after her father and her fierce fighting skills. Brambleflower is named for his mother and his gentle disposition. Both young cats miss their father - Tigerstar had always been loving towards them, until the end.

A branch does not kill Rainwhisker.

I have more, but I should save them for another post.

[thesherrinfordfacility]

six months on (albeit, a bit late) part 2/3

part one | part two | epilogue (at some point)

okay right this is significantly more important (and more interesting frankly) than doing the job that im actually paid to do, so let's pick up where we left off in part one. main conclusions that ive come to so far, as a recap:

aziraphale feels threatened by the conversation with the metatron and feels he has little choice but to go to heaven. also, possibly feels aware that the metatron might be able to see/hear their conversation, and so has to be careful in his own proposal that does not alert crowley to there being something wrong, and does not alert metatron to his suspicion of him

wants to bring crowley with him because... yk, love. and he thinks that the restoration might be something that crowley has always wanted anyway, so he has to offer it without clueing crowley in on the possibility that aziraphale is under some kind of duress

aziraphale was initially very resistant to going, but only gave in when a) metatron brought up crowley in the first place (implied threat aforementioned), b) crowley could be restored (which he thinks crowley might want anyway but never entertained could happen), and c) it would give aziraphale an opportunity to not only change heaven as it currently is, but also recognises him - in all his perceived imperfection as an angel - to be the "right man for the job"

crowley understandably refuses, and launches into his confession/proposal. both of them want the same end result - being together - but the journey there is the contested part. aziraphale tries to persuade crowley into coming with him by subtly changing his language and mannerisms, almost like he's leaking out hints as to why it is so important that they remain together

the only true miscommunication they have - that aptly heralds the beginning of the end - is "nothing lasts forever". everything else, arguably (aside from aziraphale's attempt to keep things under wraps) is fairly well communicated, but they simply. disagree

i will hastily add, as i said in part one, that this is still only my interpretation of the whole sequence; there have been so many amazing observations that have made my opinion/interpretation of the final fifteen flit from one stance to another, and these two posts are purely me rewatching it all, paying closer attention, and working out what the hell (ha) i think is going on.

so, we left off at "good luck".

aziraphale definitely appears taken aback that crowley has not, in fact, understood what he meant throughout the whole conversation, and most of all appears to have completely shut down with "nothing lasts forever". where aziraphale thinks that crowley putting his glasses back on means that they're about to leave together, hand in hand, and face whatever has been dealt to them... it's actually crowley drawing the line in the sand, and sticking (rightly so) to his set boundary that he will not return to heaven as an angel - regardless of the optimistic assumption of what that would precisely entail (ie. this is assuming that restoration is even possible, let alone that crowley would be able to be restored and simultaneously keep his memories/his "him" in the process... arguably, these two options are likely the more realistic).

aziraphale is now, more desperately and in plainer language, resorting to begging crowley to see why this is the best choice they can make to remain together. but this is also where i feel like aziraphale's double-speak language that he exhibited with "...i can make a difference"/"we can make a difference", and the metatron jibe, is growing more frantic and - as a result - more obvious.

to me, he's clearly trying to impress upon crowley that he is not rejecting him, that he wants crowley with him desperately... but is equally having to keep his expression of this as... strategic as possible. it's almost like he's flitting between talking to crowley in as heartfelt and candid a manner as he can, and then squeaking in the caveats that are for the benefit of this assumed pretence he's playing - i guess what im trying to say is that aziraphale can't very well turn around and say, 'crowley i am not rejecting you, i want to be with you, but i cannot get out of this situation im being placed in, and i cannot leave you here on your own because i have no idea - and am scared of - what will happen.' the way he says "work with me!"; 'its going to be me and you against them, still. that's all it was ever going to be; i am not theirs, i am yours, but i have to play this game' - which incidentally, to any outside ears, would arguably just sound like aziraphale asking for crowley to... well, work with him. "we can be together!" is said with all due emphasis and cry, and aziraphale neatly tacks on, "angels, doing good!", because they would do good - good as they see it - and crowley would have to be an angel in order to do so, yes, but ultimately aziraphale wants him... and yet still remains plausible to anyone who could be listening.

i do still think - for the record - that there is a part of aziraphale that thinks that this is absolutely the right thing to do. crowley has put other options to him that, in contrast, solve nothing as far as aziraphale is concerned, and this sense of threat from the metatron only forces into sharp relief that whatever happens, wherever they go, they are not free of anything and never will be until something changes. this line of thinking has not always been how aziraphale has thought historically - but it's who he is now. if we accept that all of the hard, agonising decisions and choices that aziraphale has had to make, all of the times where he has battled with what is the right thing to do (arguably - exactly as crowley has taught him), has led to this moment, then aziraphale standing steadfast to his decision is absolutely in line with the character development we've been shown throughout both seasons.

that is just my interpretation given the events that come before this bit of the dialogue; whichever way you look at it though, aziraphale is evidently panicked and erratic that this might actually be it - that he and crowley are done. the really interesting bit for me, however, lies in his movements, his body language, and his expressions? they feel more in line with how aziraphale normally acts. to me, all of this is genuine, it's not put on, nor faked; where before he was trying to hide his fear under the guise of excitement, it now feels like this is actually aziraphale speaking, and not some uncanny facsimile who is trying to clutch every fraying string and keep it all together. also worth noting that during this part of the interaction that not once, as far as we see it, does aziraphale look out of the window.

whichever way you look at it though, aziraphale is evidently panicked and erratic that this might actually be it - that he and crowley are done. the really interesting bit for me lies in his movements, his body language, and his expressions? they feel more in line with how aziraphale normally acts. to me, all of this is genuine, it's not put on, nor faked; where before he was trying to hide his fear under the guise of excitement, it now feels like this is actually aziraphale speaking, and not some uncanny facsimile who is trying to clutch every fraying string and keep it all together. also worth noting that during this part of the interaction that not once, as far as we see it, does aziraphale look out of the window.

crowley though? crowley has clocked out. noone could blame him at all, especially after the sucker punch of the previous half of the sequence, because whilst i think he's hearing aziraphale say these things spoken with sincerety, probably even recognises them to be genuine, he's possibly also hearing the unspoken, perceived caveat that comes along with them. "we can be together... but you have to change." "we can be together... but i'll never love you, as you are, as much as you want me to."

he's hearing what aziraphale is saying, and either he doesn't believe it, or he's resentful that he would say this now - from crowley's pov - to cover up and compensate for what he said before. as he goes to walk away, but is called back by aziraphale, his turn and his carriage is... not petulant, that's the wrong word, but almost impatient? like he's humouring aziraphale at this point, but not that he has much more interest in what aziraphale has got to say. and again! given everything that has just been said and done, from crowley's perspective, that's completely understandable.

it's the turn of the head; crowley already has his barrier up with his glasses on, but he's cutting off any remaining communication he can give to aziraphale. it's interesting that he's specifically chosen to look out of the window, where we presume the metatron is - but does crowley even see him? does crowley essentially dissociating so rapidly that he can't even see that the metatron is there? or does he see him, and think that it's of very little consequence - the metatron won, he's got aziraphale (or - aziraphale was always heaven's, anyway), and it's barely worth notice or comment?

but it's also like he's giving aziraphale another chance - another chance to change his mind. if he didn't at least have a small flicker of hope left that that might happen, it stands to reason that crowley would have simply kept on walking. but he stops, and he waits. as aziraphale keeps talking, however, he turns his head specifically as he says "together", and appears to clamp his mouth shut as he does so, as if almost to say 'it's no use saying all this, because i'm hurt and i'm angry and i'm giving up. you want us to be together only if i come back; i'm never going back, you keep pushing, so how can you so desperately want to be with me if this is the only circumstance in which you can bring yourself to do so?'

of course, then, we get aziraphale's last gut-wrenching plea that he needs crowley. it's so simple a statement, and it has no condition afterwards, nothing to qualify it - and yet it is still something that aziraphale has never said, or - to my recollection - ever expressed in this capacity. sure, he's begged him with puppy-dog eyes to make hamlet popular, or to miracle the stain out of his coat, but nothing so heartfelt and dire as this. it's as true to any love confession that i think we get in the final fifteen; especially when you consider the mirror of the line in 1862 - "i don't need you..." / "and the feeling is mutual, obviously!" - and the context in which that is said.

aziraphale has, as bravely and vulnerably as we've seen aziraphale do anything else, vocalised something as close to a love confession as he can currently get... and crowley doesn't say anything? doesn't even look at him? throughout this confession of sorts, crowley has continued to look out of the window, and whilst we know that this is likely out of self-preservation on his part, what must this seem like from aziraphale's perspective? presumably it feels like a rejection - but is that a rejection of the entire thing - the whole offer - or of what aziraphale has just told him?

in the above moment, we can see aziraphale's face clearly crumple in hurt when crowley doesn't even acknowledge what he's just said, before masking it rapidly with indignation. he then lashes out with "i don't think you understand what i'm offering you."

indenting this next bit, because i need to ramble it out:

whilst i do think (as i said in the last post), that aziraphale might genuinely believe that crowley in some small part wants to return to heaven to be an angel, crowley has quite clearly rejected, in the room, any notion of it. his repulsion at heaven, and the notion of forgiveness, is not as wishy-washy as it was at the bandstand; now, he is vehement and firm that his opinion of heaven cannot get any lower. and i think aziraphale knows it. plus, the way that aziraphale words and proposes the restoration offer to crowley feels like he was aware that it might be a hard sell. so when aziraphale says 'you don't understand what i'm offering you', i don't think that aziraphale was himself talking about the restoration specifically; i don't think he's essentially saying, 'crowley, you're being so stupid, you could be an angel again - what part of this don't you understand? do you even comprehend what i'm trying to give you, here?' what i think aziraphale is, however, offering to crowley is that he and crowley remain together. aziraphale doesn't have much of a choice in going back to heaven - that much seems fairly apparent - and the only way, as far as he sees it, that they can remain together is if they go back to heaven together. and to do that, crowley would need to become an angel. i know people have often viewed aziraphale's decision to return to heaven along of the lines of, 'he loves heaven more than he loves crowley'... but i don't think that's it at all. to aziraphale - him begging crowley to come with him, work with and help him to make a difference (i.e. the right thing to do, i.e. a difference that is meaningful to, and controlled by, them), for crowley to not even look at him when he tells him he needs him - it must frankly feel like a rejection of aziraphale himself? when aziraphale says that crowley doesn't understand what he's offering him, i think it's more along the lines of aziraphale saying that he's offering all of himself to crowley. in the hope that, even if it means crowley has to return to heaven, being together is enough to warrant it? that aziraphale himself is enough for crowley to want to do that? 'do you hate heaven more than you love me?'

this feels like a stretch, i grant you, but given everything we saw towards the beginning of the episode - especially where shax's first jibe at aziraphale is to undermine what aziraphale actually means to crowley ("emotional support angel"), something that aziraphale presumably already fears (i.e. that he's a means to an end, of sorts) - it doesn't seems implausible.

furthermore, when crowley retorts that he understands perfectly, and understands more than aziraphale does, aziraphale's reaction then makes more emotional sense. of course, from crowley's perspective, he thinks that this is about the restoration, and of course he understands more about what aziraphale is offering... because how can he not?! he is fallen, he fell, and there is no way he, someone who has gone thousands of years (potentially millions) being deemed unforgivable and irredeemable, can ever be restored like aziraphale is hoping he can. and why would he want to be? that's not something aziraphale as an angel would ever be able to fully understand; the futility of wishing otherwise, the insult, and the impossibility.

i do think that it's worth bearing in mind that canonically, the implication is that aziraphale was not there to witness crowley's fall - possibly not even the fall in its entirety. we're never shown any instance where crowley even talks about it to aziraphale. absolutely, this is evidently a delicate and (if nothing else) touchy subject for crowley, and he doesn't owe aziraphale a deeper account than the questionable "sauntered vaguely downwards". but equally, it's not fair to assume that aziraphale knows how much of a boundary he is crossing by even entertaining the idea, and pushing it.

perhaps he should have inferred it at a previous point, true, but... the closest we get to crowley talking about it is "the angel you knew is not me", and "i won't be forgiven! not ever!". it's not unrealistic that aziraphale would infer these two poignant lines as crowley being wistful for the chance at redemption or forgiveness. ultimately, in my view, it's not until the final fifteen that aziraphale begins to have even the faintest idea of just how deep crowley's antipathy for heaven runs. it's not a case of just thinking they're a bunch of dicks, but that fundamentally, crowley will never align with heaven under any circumstances.

so when crowley says this, he is absolutely saying 'i know about this subject more than you do; i am fallen, you are not, and you therefore are not able to understand like i do why being restored is not only unthinkable, but the worst outcome possible for me. it's not the good thing you think it is. i want us to be together, but you're asking for something i cannot - and will not - give you, and you don't seem to see the problem in asking me in the first place.'

but aziraphale is not thinking of this; what i think he might be hearing from crowley is, 'no no, i know you want to be together, and are offering yourself up to me with your whole heart; the issue is though that if it means i have to go to heaven to have it, to have you... it's not enough to make me do this. i don't want it; nothing and noone would warrant me doing this. you are not enough for me to acquiesce to going, and moreover you're not clever enough to understand that.'

it very quickly, i think, stops being about crowley not wanting to return to heaven - at least, not in the way they were previously discussing. instead, it feels like aziraphale is now starting to internalise crowley's reaction as a reflection on himself. which then, for me, that makes aziraphale's next line of "well... then there's nothing more to say." make all the more sense to me... because that's the kinda thing you say after things have really hit the ground, right? and i imagine, for aziraphale, hearing crowley essentially say that he's not enough would probably elicit that reaction. that crowley ultimately has no further use for him (again: "emotional support angel"), because crowley can so easily discard what they had, and so very nearly could have had. and not only that - crowley implies in his wording that, once again, whilst aziraphale is incredibly intelligent in some ways, he can also be phenomenally stupid (which turned out great the last time he said it).

aziraphale clearly tries to put a brave face on - school his expression, blink away the tears that are clearly gathering and brace his mouth against the trembling - and slap on the fakest, tightest, weakest smile. just before it switches to crowley, however, you can see the anger begin to set in; looking towards the ground, aziraphale seems like he's already given way to the feelings of disappointment and betrayal, and possibly even humiliation? that he's laid out his own heart - he thinks - so clearly, and it's being refused as if it's nothing.

now look, idk about anyone else watching this scene for the first time, but... my reaction to the part of this bit of dialogue was... not dissimilar to aziraphale's. after all of this emotional outpouring, both parties being hurt by the other, etc., it feels completely apropos of nothing for crowley to suddenly be asking if aziraphale can hear whatever he's meant to be hearing. aziraphale's reaction, to me, not only within character, but entirely reasonable; he's wound up, going through a thousand different emotions, and yet he's meant to be hearing... what? a car alarm? someone thumping out some drum and bass? of course aziraphale retorts testily, and agitatedly; they've just reached the end of an intense discussion and - as he sees it - the whimper end of six thousand years of being an 'us' in various capacities. he obviously isn't, but i can imagine that it would feel that crowley is trivialising what's just happened and, in aziraphale's shoes, i'd probably be a bit shitty - and subsequently bitchy - in my delivery too.

but of course - ha - we then get the suckerpunch of the nightingale line, and we feel the weight of it right alongside aziraphale. the poignancy and tragedy of what crowley is saying with this. there's been numerous of delicious metas regarding the motif or symbolism of the nightingale (personal favourite for me is the shakespearean link to the nightingale/lark in R&J), but in the context of the story? the context that both these characters presumably know and understand? we know about the end of s1, and it's suddenly apparent that the song was diegetic. that both of these characters recognise that the nightingale represents what they nearly - and did - have and accomplish by the end of s1.

there's no piano tinkling in the background, playing what we now understand is considered by both of them to be their song, (i still have very narrowed, suspicious eyes at 1941), to put them in a lovey-dovey mood... because this? right here? this isn't going to have a happy ending. calling attention to the sheer absence of it, figuratively speaking, only confirms for the both of them that whatever they did have - or were on the cusp of having - is gone.

moreso for aziraphale; it's abundantly clear when the finality of this hits him, evident in his dumbfounded expression that follows immediately after crowley says the line. and the way that crowley says it, how it could be perceived as incredibly nonchalant and casual (and for the audience absolutely betrays just how devastated crowley likely is in saying it), is evidently shocking for aziraphale; the notion that this is truly broken, this is done, and there is no coming back from it... and crowley already has a foot out the door already.

which is only hammered home with this:

idk, again, if this was the same for anyone else, but even upon first viewing, this felt acutely unfair. not only the idiot line, which as i've already alluded to seems to be a firm boundary for aziraphale (we'll get to 'i forgive you' in a minute huns, i promise), but the way that crowley very firmly places this whole thing upon aziraphale.

up until this point on first viewing, personally, i was content with appreciating that both of them had a good point; that their perspectives were so agonisingly polarising but had equal merit. but this does not all rest on aziraphale's shoulders; there isn't, to my mind, even any blame to assign in this whole sequence, but to my mind they are both equally accountable for the outcome. they cannot align their separate belief systems, can't align what they think is the right thing to do, but share the devastating want to be together. there's miscommunication, sure - but not enough that i think either leave each other not knowing that the other cares for them deeply. it's understandable why their paths have diverged, but both of them have been fighting for 'us' until this bitter end.

so, to then watch crowley essentially drop the blame for them not being together so squarely on aziraphale's shoulders was... frustrating, to say the least. that aziraphale is so firmly in the wrong, and that him being 'an idiot' is the only reason why they're not making out on the sofa and skipping into the metaphorical sunset right now. that - if we're being real here - if aziraphale had abandoned whatever he had considered to be the right thing to do, and followed crowley in what he wanted, what he considered right, that they'd have a future together (and that's not even taking into account the whole metatron-threat thing, but i hadn't reflected on that upon first watch).

i think the fact that crowley did this, frankly, is not lost on aziraphale. he certainly reacts accordingly; his face crumples minutely before he turns reflexively away - both away from crowley, and away from the metatron (because, lest we forget, he is still outside). it feels like what were web-like fractures spidering out across aziraphale have now suddenly cracked under the pressure, and the first piece has fallen. it makes sense that in this moment of actual physical vulnerability, something that aziraphale wasn't quick enough to school away and mask, he would turn from crowley to hide the hurt he's just handed him.

(lol are you ready bc i'm not)

sigh.

okay right; this is probably the only bit of the final fifteen sequence where, by large, my reaction to it has not changed. to be clear; i love the kiss for what it does narratively, and the delicious possibilities that it opens up in s3. i think the kiss, and their respective reactions within it, are perfectly in line with their characters. frankly, on the whole, i enjoy it for what it is.

lets start with the preceding bit, as a reminder; crowley's distraught, aziraphale's distraught, we're all distraught. crowley has said something that, to my mind, is quite frankly unfair, but understandable for him to say from his perspective. it's also the line that causes aziraphale to physically break, and he's turned away from crowley to hide himself and prevent crowley from seeing the hurt that it's caused him, the ensuing vulnerability. to my mind, by extension, aziraphale is now at a point where he thinks it's all over, that there's nothing to salvage, and that they're done. crowley certainly seemed to give that impression with his line about the nightingales, and "we could have been us."

aziraphale breaking, and turning away, evidently spurs something within crowley; that there does seem, somehow, to be some hope that aziraphale will stay, and so crowley immediately strides over to him. the thing is that after initially watching it, and then thinking on it a little more (and rewatched another six or so times), i... didn't get it? i didn't get what the point of it was. it seemed abundantly clear to the both of them that aziraphale wasn't going to change his mind, and neither was crowley (and tbh, neither of them should - and even if one of them did, it wouldn't erase the *waves around vigorously* everything that just happened), so what was the kiss meant to prove? what result was it meant to have?

it could be that there wasn't meant to be a result of any kind, that crowley was just outpouring his emotion in a make-or-break physical way. yes, absolutely, and i would think that (that it was a purely emotional action, not necessarily meant to do anything), but... when they break apart, crowley clearly appears to be waiting for something.

but i'll get to that in a minute; the point however seems to be it's aziraphale's break that kicks crowley into action. that he still has an 'in', and he can use it. aziraphale cracked, crowley sees a glimmer of hope, and does the most direct thing that comes to mind that would impress upon aziraphale just how desperate crowley is for him to change his mind.

i said in a meta a few months ago, god knows where it is now, that the whole interaction appears somewhat predatory - like, literally, in the animalistic sense. it's violent, and fast, and there's no room for discussion or manoeuvre in it; grab him by the lapels, drag him round, plant it on him, and hold him there. the dance and motion of it is almost serpentine in nature. of course, again, i absolutely recognise the desperation with which crowley is evidently acting, and there's no part of me that thinks that this is done out of anything but the most deep-seated, painful, aching love, but it's... still uncomfortable. i don't see any romance in this, personally, at all.

that doesn't diminish the romantic feelings fuelling it, however, but it's not the kind of kiss, i think, you would expect to see from someone intending to romance someone into remaining with them...? of course it's more than possible (a certainty really, depending on the hc; ymmv) that crowley has simply never kissed anyone before, and just simply doesn't know... what to do? and maybe that explains why he doesn't move, doesn't actually... do much of anything, whilst kissing aziraphale. but we know crowley has seen at least one stereotypically romantic film, and presumably has seen romantic kisses throughout history. so to me, it kinda begs the question of - if a typically-romantic, climactic, show-stopping snog wasn't the intention here, what was?

i put this in a photoset when the parallel had struck me, as they often do, at 2am; there was a huge emphasis played, in crowley and aziraphale's first truly meaningful encounter post-eden, on aziraphale's first temptation. something that he obviously enjoyed for millennia to come, and has a huge impact on him as an angel and as a person.

additionally, someone else posted at some point soon after s2 aired that the way aziraphale devours a whole bloody cow is reflective of the fact that, at the time, he didn't realise he was starving. apply this to the kiss, and we can imagine what kissing crowley would mean for him in turn. if aziraphale succumbed to the ox-rib temptation, and likely other temptations that followed afterwards, it would make sense that crowley might - might - resort to a similar method in getting him to stay, at a point when all else has failed, and crowley thinks he has no other option left.

i'm in two minds as to whether crowley meant the kiss, full-chest, to actually be a temptation (for me, it makes his characterisation even more nuanced and complex, so i'm largely on the side of it having been intentional, i'm afraid), but the way that he pulls back afterwards, and waits for the verdict, strongly suggests to me that it might have been.... waiting/hoping? for aziraphale to change his mind. that if it was a temptation, that he pulls away hoping that aziraphale will declare himself to remain on earth with crowley.

i realise the above may be a point of contention, and accept that - tbh, i just enjoy exploring the possibility. and even if crowley hadn't intended it that way, i think aziraphale certainly may have seen it that way (which again, for me, is in line with aziraphale's development starting in s1 with resisting crowley's insistence that he kill the antichrist etc.). but again i'm getting ahead of myself-

so wham, in with the kiss. aziraphale obviously reacts initially in shock (no, i don't think it's revulsion, but it's certainly surprise and likely a bit of the ole 'what the fuck'); he keeps his eyes open, his eyebrows drawn together in a frown, his posture is stiff, and his hands flail. but then... he melts into it. more than melts into it - he returns it. his eyes close, his face relaxes, and his hands come up, hesitantly and tentatively pressing into crowley's back. there does come a point during the kiss, however, where aziraphale's hands detach from crowley's back, and return to flitting around like he's unsure of what to do with them. at which point crowley finally releases him, and breaks the kiss.

a combination of aziraphale not physically pushing him away, and even proceeding to draw crowley in, with tenderness? to crowley, i can imagine he breaks the kiss hoping ever so slightly that whatever it was meant to be or convey - temptation, whatever - made aziraphale change his mind. that this last-ditch effort was enough to make aziraphale stay. he pulls back, and almost seems expectant of some kind of result.

aziraphale's immediate reaction, once the kiss breaks, is not so static. he falls back out of crowley's clenched fists, and his face takes to unadulterated heartbreak and despair, but ultimately seems to be rooted in panic...? shock? aziraphale also pointedly looking out towards the doors is telling, because i don't think it's wholly left his mind about who's waiting outside, and the position that he's now been put into - where he has to reconcile this really quite distressing experience with everything that has come before it.

by god does aziraphale cycle through some emotions here. he can't even look at crowley whilst he processes this maelstrom that's going on - sorrow, longing, confusion, and pure shock - and stumbles over his words trying, i think, to find the right ones to say. the kiss, i think, has very nearly done its job; aziraphale is clearly conflicted, but i think struggling to find a way to express that he wants this, but he still can't stay. trying to anchor himself to something, to a decision, that won't destroy himself or crowley in the process.

however, before he even gets that far, there is a really key moment where his expression abruptly changes, almost like he's realised something. in that moment, it's where he finally makes eye contact with crowley, and for an infinitesimal moment, aziraphale seems to eye him with something like... betrayal? disbelief? and that's where, unfortunately, i think the temptation element comes in, because i think aziraphale recognises it (or at least, thinks he does). and possibly recognises that, from aziraphale's perspective, crowley has resorted to something that he knows nearly always works on aziraphale, trying to force his hand into doing something that aziraphale has already expressed he will not - and presumably cannot - do.

but beyond that; i've said before whilst kisses do not feature in austen's literary works, aziraphale is hardly ignorant of the trope that a kiss - typically - in romantic fiction can carry weight as a declaration of love. has aziraphale ever idly wondered on what it would be like to have a first kiss with crowley? yeah, probably. but arguably what crowley has done is taken that - taken something that is precious, tender, meaningful, and cannot be taken back and redone - and turned it into something heartbreaking, possibly manipulative, and overall - frankly - something ugly.

aziraphale even gets a little smirk on, because in that moment i think he's genuinely angry at crowley... for any/all of the above. he seems so plainly resentful and appalled by what he thinks crowley was doing, thinking that aziraphale wouldn't see through it, and resorts to his textbook bitchiness in the guise of a sarcastic and sardonic smile. and even his body language - he exhales sharply in a small huff, his shoulders relax and his posture straightens, and he even bears his teeth slightly the smallest of snarls. and then, of course, he delivers the fatal blow of "i forgive you".

i know there have been a fair few interpretations of this line, and what aziraphale was saying with it. mine, personally, is very simple; this is how aziraphale can basically get away with telling crowley to go fuck himself. in s1, he says it in a way - responding to crowley's rather painful line about aziraphale being 'so clever, but so stupid' - that almost feels, on the surface, as if it's intended with benevolence and kindness... but is instead saying 'fuck you, that hurt. so i'm going to say this in return knowing it will hurt/annoy you in turn.'

and tbh, i don't think it's any different in this moment of the final fifteen sequence either. aziraphale is clearly hurt (once he delivers the line, you can see his face shift once again back into soft sorrow) and clearly angry. he is lashing out in a way befitting his 'bit (see: lot) of a bastard' streak, because he perceives it to be striking at something that resembles a weakness, or sore point, for crowley. it's also a clever insomuch that should anyone ever overhear him, he's being his devout angel self... but to him and crowley, it's absolutely a code that they both patently understand.

crowley then seems to just... accept that nothing has changed/it didn't work, and simultaneously rolls with the gut punch that was "i forgive you", like he's not even really surprised that aziraphale had that response to give him. he sighs, in a way that practically vocalises 'disappointed but not surprised', and succumbs to the inevitability of them not having (yet) the happy ending that he'd perhaps hoped. he turns, tosses "don't bother" over his shoulder, and leaves the shop.

i think "don't bother" could be taken multiple ways; if we accept that crowley actually knows the underlying subtext in "i forgive you", it could him saying, essentially, 'don't waste your breath, we're done/i'm going'. if he takes it literally, it could be 'i'm a demon, as you've so clearly pointed out, don't bother trying'... or 'i'm not sorry or asking for forgiveness, i did what i felt was right'.

last little bit before i close off here (i'll do an epilogue for the last bit of the sequence, up until credits roll; there's too much to try to squeeze into like two gifs and a couple of paragraphs):

when crowley leaves, aziraphale most obviously looks desperate himself, panicked, and heartbroken... i'm even somewhat sure that he's about to call crowley's name, or a simple "no" (this bit is next on my 'lipread' list) and stops himself. his lip pouts, he's breathing heavily, and whilst - by god - his eyes are a watery mess throughout the entire sequence, this is probably as close as he gets to shedding actual tears. there's still some residue confusion, like 'what the fuck just happened, that's not how that was supposed to go'.

it's clear that aziraphale is generally distressed, and he certainly looks this way... just before the point that his hand raises to his lips. the way it's so shaky, and hesitant, the wide-eyed, shocked stare before rapidly blinking, perhaps both in disbelief and also to rid himself of the tears building? and then, whilst his fingers are almost trying to imprint the kiss even more, he lowers them and reveals his face stiffening into a sneer (jaw and nose tightens, eyes become more hooded, eyebrows draw together).

now, i'm in two minds as to who this sneer is directed at - is it at crowley, because of the same reasons he may have said 'i forgive you'? or is it at metatron, for putting him in this position in the first place? honestly, i think it's the former; aziraphale seems to have almost all but forgotten the metatron, and his reaction to metatron returning to the bookshop would support that. his head turns so quickly to the door when it opens, and that hope and surprise quickly disappears when he realises it's not crowley... turns away, most likely to wipe his eyes (even possibly his mouth), before turning back to the metatron to answer as to crowley's reaction.

which - and i'll leave off with this, because it'll follow neatly into the epilogue post - seems odd. metatron has presumably seen crowley come out of the shop, and even if they don't exchange a look, let alone words, he can clearly surmise that negotiations went a bit sour if crowley has left without aziraphale... if it wasn't obvious by now, it's seems to be a very blatant, and yet artfully delivered ploy. whether the motive was to separate them out of fear/trepidation, or just simply get aziraphale back in heaven under his thumb without crowley's influence, it's clear that the metatron never intended - nor thought it plausible - that crowley would agree to return to heaven. his next lines certainly cement that thought, and i think might have registered to aziraphale too.

i'll be back at some point ciao

[cassafrasscr]

Here's the thing... I don't feel particularly good about Fearne taking the shard.

Like, Ashley seems happy and excited about Fearne's new form and powers, and I am glad about that.

I really just can't shake the feeling that Fearne was ultimately pressured into taking the shard. They should have taken more time to discuss it and actually listened to Fearne's reasons for not wanting it. Chetney was the only one who asked her about it, and he still tried to persuade her to change her mind.

Laudna and Imogen didn't ask at all, only talked about how disappointed they were that she was hesitant to take the shard's power. I know they're leaning into the whole 'embracing their darkness and power' thing, but they of all people should be most sympathetic about Fearne being afraid of how doing that could change her for the worse.

I think at least part of this is the disconnect between IRL time and in-game time. Above-table, it's been over a month since Ashton’s failed attempt to take the shard. In-game, it's been no more than 2 days. It's only been a few hours since Fearne found out the truth about who her real father is. Most of that time has been spent on the team-building scavenger hunt. There hasn't actually been time to properly process all that.

There's also the issue of Fearne's bodily autonomy to consider. For any character, taking the shard would mean accepting permanent changes to both their physical body and their powers. Ashton didn't even get to keep the Shard of Rau'shan, and look what it did to him! He lost an arm; grew a new, completely different one; and very nearly died permanently. Putting that much pressure on Fearne to accept that level of risk and self-alteration when she'd already said no is not good friend behaviour.

I would be fine with Fearne taking the shard if (instead of everyone just continuously insisting she should take it) they had respected her initial decision and let her gain the confidence to change her mind on her own.

I also would also have liked to see Fearne learning to stand up for herself and her decisions as part of her 'embracing your power' character arc. Drawing boundaries with your friends and actually enforcing them is really hard, but it’s also necessary for building healthy relationships.

Trusting Fearne's judgement on what's best for her and respecting her decisions would have been better for rebuilding the broken relationships between Bell's Hells. As it is, I don't know how much is actually going to change between them after this retreat.

Not to mention how some of them - mainly Imogen and Laudna - have kind of been trying to force something to happen between Fearne and Ashton. Like, I make no secret of being an Ashrym shipper, but I wouldn’t be comfortable with it even if I did ship Callowmoore. Like I already said, it's been 2 days max since Ashton exploded. That experience really rattled their relationship and it'll take more time and work to rebuild. If Callowmoore is going to happen, let it happen naturally.

I'm glad Allura took the time to remind them that, while the moon mission is urgent, it is still just a recon mission. Once they gather and hand off the information, they'll have more time again to step back and take a breather, and potentially decide not to involve themselves any further if they don’t want to.

(Obviously they're not gonna ditch and leave the Ruby Vanguard to VM and the M9 to deal with - they're all too invested in the outcome to back out, and it's the central plot of C3. But knowing they have the option, and that they'll have some time to make that final decision is, I think, important for their character arcs going forward.)

I dunno. Maybe it's a hot take, but it just kinda leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth.